theseyellowdays

[theseyellowdays]

listen...

Jeremy was in jail. It wasn't long because it was soon discovered that he hadn't killed his brother (it was a suicide and Jeremy was the only one there when his brother put the gun in his mouth), but his brother Bryson wanted to teach him a lesson, so who did not pay bail.

Also, the brother who died was Bryson's best friend, always the two of them because Jeremy was his biological father's favorite even though Bryson was the first (wink to Ichiro and Riko, but in reverse).

Jeremy was arrested at his first year's Christmas banquet, in front of everyone. But the worst thing was that Jeremy was high. The death of his brother in front of him made him fall into the worst.

That was the scandal. Of course, when it was discovered that it had not been him and that he had witnessed the suicide, everyone wanted to support him, including the Trojans. But they don't know that he had gone to prison in recent months.

The Knoxes doubted Jeremy and they didn't want drugs in the house. They said Jeremy was in rehab to get over the traumatic experience of witnessing a suicide and being arrested as a suspect.

The Trojans believe that Jeremy fears the police because they arrested him at his lowest point.

In reality, police and prison officials made Jeremy's life miserable while he was in jail.

Jeremy had to do things to survive. Questionable things.

The rumors about Jean are not true. But what Jeremy did to survive in prison is true.

Nobody knows. Jeremy doesn't want anyone to know. He has decided that he will never think about it again until he forgets it, so he always focuses on the present and others.

But it's difficult because Bryson does know (they told him everything he did while he was in prison to keep an eye on him). He doesn't tell the rest of the family, because "we can't afford to have a suicidal person, a drug addict and a prostitude in this family."

The congressman grandfather wants to pretend that the family has survived the tragedy and is still united. Everyone likes those stories of overcoming. That's why he demands that Jeremy come home every night. This also ensures that he does not take drugs.

How was Jeremy going to take drugs, if he has to give his family a bill for buying a gum? Where was he going to get the money from, if they don't even let him work? How could he hide them, if every night they give him drug tests and check every part of his body for punctures?

Alright. He can stand it.

But Jeremy finds it harder to smile every day when he wakes up in his dead brother's bed, with the gun he used to shoot himself on the nightstand.

It's the constant reminder that Bryson expects him to do the same as his brother. Jeremy doesn't know if his mask will last much longer.

...and then, Jean Moreau comes into his life.

[theseyellowdays]

In general I hate a miscommunication trope but when andreil does it I’m just like “oh no one ever taught these two how to have a conversation, it makes sense for them”

[theseyellowdays]

"Kevin Day: A Raven Reincarnated" for Cosmopolitan, Feb 2006 (modernized)

“It felt like my life was over the second I came to and realised, oh my god, my hand is broken. It’s like taking a paintbrush away from an artist, taking a pen away from a writer. When your career, your life purpose, relies on [something] and that gets taken away from you with no warning? It’s devastating. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through. In those first few weeks where I wasn’t sure if I’d ever play again, I thought about my mom and wondered if she was looking down at me going, “How could you be so stupid?”. Like, how could I let this happen?”

[theseyellowdays]

I wonder what the Ravens NDA for new recruits looks like. I wonder what legal protections they have in place against graduates/ex-Ravens who consider talking about their treatment in evermore. I wonder if Evermore were to fall would people start speaking out, and would the numbers of victims coming forward just keep rising and rising? Every day, new athletes names being added to this infamous list. Famous athletes on the US Court talking about their abuse, other people on pro teams getting the courage to come out about it. Suddenly it’s on everyone’s mind, suddenly it’s a top story on the mainstream news. It breaches containment out of the sports world and it’s all that anyone can talk about.

The NCAA Exy Scandal. Athletes declining to comment because they’ll always be a Raven. “You were a Raven before - did you see this happening? What did you see happening?” A number of weeks where every single day something new comes out, some new abuse story, some new shocking detail that leaves people unable to comprehend how nobody noticed, or spoke out before now.

If someone were to do the hard thing, to open that door, would they be able to stop the outpouring of other athletes following suit to come out about their time in Evermore? Would the Moriyama’s ever be held accountable, and how many people would be implicated? The team nurse who turned a blind eye, who refused proper medical care for the athletes, the campus president who didn’t notice this happening right under his nose, the people who wrote the contract that forced the players to stay silent.

[theseyellowdays]

Excerpts from Alex and Henry's emails

+ Bonus:

[theseyellowdays]

Started rereading the Hunger Games series and I feel like it’s so overlooked how in 74th and 75th Hunger Games, we don’t know every Tribute’s names, with Katniss only referring to them by their District numbers but in TBOSAS, we knew every single Tribute by name. We associated them with the clothes they wore on the Reaping Day and Suzanne even goes so far as to describe how they looked, however briefly. We see these Tributes and we’re familiarized with them by the little tidbits provided to the mentors and to Snow and Lucy Gray. But we never get this in the original trilogy.

In two generations, President Snow alienated the Districts from each other so much that Katniss didn’t even care to know all the names of the Tributes sent into the Arena with her, with the exception being those who posed great risk against her safety and those she felt great compassion for (e.g. Cato, Thresh, Rue, Mags, Betee, Wiress etc.). Katniss even went so far as to call the D6 Tributes in the 75th Hunger Games morphlings, for their affinity to imbibe in the drugs that help them forget their own traumas (an incredibly hurtful description, in my own opinion, to be known by the qualities you hate the most about yourself). We never know the real name of the 74th D5 girl, with Katniss only referring to her as Foxface and we don’t even know Marvel’s name until we get to the second book and he was Katniss’ first personal kill. Katniss even kills the D4 girl in the books with the same tracker jacker venom that killed Glimmer and yet still, we don’t know her name. We are so removed from the identity of the other Tributes that we don’t even know what some of them looked like beyond brief descriptions of mangled bodies and dead Tributes in the bloodbath at the Cornucopia.

And, the thing is, Suzanne established the importance of names in the series. Even in real life, we recognize the importance of being named. It is a fundamental aspect of being human. If you’re ever in a perilous situation where a person might be placing your life in danger, we’re told to remind the person that you’re human. “Keep saying your name, how old you are, where you came from. Remind them you are a human being just like them.” Before any propaganda can work against a group of people, refusing to recognize a person’s name is the first step to dehumanization. And just like the people of the Districts, we don’t care enough about the other Tributes to even want to know their names. Their propaganda worked on us, the readers.

In two generations, President Snow completely wiped out any sense of familiarity and camaraderie the Districts may have shared with the other. In two generations, Snow sowed the seeds of distrust and division into the Districts so deeply that even we, the readers, were affected by the effects of Capitol propaganda. In two generations, the Districts ceased to genuinely care about the others beyond the vague sense of injustice they feel for their shared plight. It’s why Career Districts don’t seem to care about killing the other Tributes. How can you care, to show your compassion and humanity, when you can barely see them as people? Yes, they may have been in the Arena with you. Yes, they may have been starved and beaten and forced into labor like you were. Yes, they might be children just like you. Yes, they might be subjected to the same deplorable system that turned you into virtual slaves. But they are not your friends. They are not your allies. They are strange, with different customs and traditions that you have. You do not share the same values. They do not care about you. At the first chance they get, they will kill you with your bare hands and they will do it with alacrity if it meant their survival. There can only be one Victor and it can’t be them. It has to be you.

[theseyellowdays]

trans Neil could actually make so much sense if you think about it because imagine they’re on the run, and Neil says to Mary ‘mom what if I started dressing like a boy’ and Mary, hellbent on disguising them, thinks that a fantastic idea, and immediately agrees. And then Neil is like, ‘maybe I could change my name to more boy names’ and Mary agrees even more. It’ll be harder to find them. Meanwhile it settles something in Neil, makes him feel about as at home as he could be in a body on the run.

[theseyellowdays]

Andrew and Neil are two freakishly observant people. And yet they lose themselves in each other.

Andrew and Neil don’t believe in the concept of love. And yet they devote the rest of their lives to one another.

Andrew and Neil are not generally giving people. And yet they give unfiltered pieces of themselves to each other.

Andrew and Neil are not trusting people. And yet trust is woven so deep into the fabric of their relationship it’s almost indistinct.

Andrew and Neil are not well-adjusted people. And yet they fought for and built the kind of well-adjusted relationship many people can only wish to have.

Andrew and Neil shouldn’t work in a romantic relationship, let alone with each other. And yet they go together like lightning and thunder goes together—just a fact of the universe.

[theseyellowdays]

while the next set of books provides further definition to the minutiae of the raven mindset, it becomes more and more striking how compelling riko is as neil's foil, esp in how they wield their influence over people.

both have an inherited magnetism with that unmistakable aura of violence, and where neil suppresses his until he sees it necessary to defend himself or others, riko indulges in it wholeheartedly and with guaranteed impunity

both have a genuine obsession with exy team set-ups but where neil revels in his team's adaptability in the face of severely low numbers, riko forces rigidity onto each of his players, a rank, and punishes any deviation from the master's hierarchy

in line with that, both recognise kevin's greatness and where riko destroys it for fear of being eclipsed, neil's faith in kevin's ability is what keeps him static long enough to build a legacy of his own

riko and neil's contrast is a fascinating embodiment of one of my fave aftg themes: context is everything/nurture >>>> nature; every choice riko makes in the series is something neil is capable of too, even as he would violently oppose it, and knowing that he carries that capacity for cruelty is what makes him So Good

[theseyellowdays]

something something the first time i truly felt pity for riko was his death and i think that fucking matters something something

[theseyellowdays]

this has probably been said before but you know what kills me about aftg

you have renee right. her whole backstory revolves around being a "reborn", and her two names (besides their religious roots) literally mean "dedicated to the festivity of birth" and "reborn", plus the sheer fact that she goes by the middle one shows how she chooses her "second life" over who she was etc etc

and then you have just. "andrew"

[theseyellowdays]

im so much more interested in a hoo that lets Percy keep the status and power he'd left off with in the Last Olympian and explores how he grapples with that instead of immediately forcing him back into the role of the underdog at the expanse of his prior development. Let the fact that he alone has the title the "Savior of Olympus" mean something. Let the fact that he is the sole survivor of the great prophecy mean something. Let the Curse of Achilles mean something. Let us see how it's a curse and how it could warp his sense of self. Let Percy be on a completely different playing field than the rest of the seven (or even the other children of the big three at this point) and show us how it alienates him.

[theseyellowdays]

We don't talk about this enough.

Neil's resting face being a dead look? That he shares with Kevin. That he'll share with Andrew later. No wonder he couldn't leave in TFC. Couldn't let go of exy, couldn't let go of Kevin. That shared understanding. Even if Kevin doesn't know yet.

(This is right after the first team meeting when Neil goes back to the dorms alone.)

[theseyellowdays]

Aftg is so jam packed with parallels and mirrors and matching details its actually insane, its like that wrote “so chekov just left all these guns lying around,” because well and truly what do you mean erik was nickys host brother? What do you mean character with a hard life goes to a new place unsure and it seems like a good place and there is a technical brother figure who either confirms or ruins it and sends the character to south Carolina after having a huge impact on the trajectory of their lives and complicates their relationship with Luthor Hemmick. What do you mean erik and drake are tilted mirrors. Are characters who match in such broad ways before veering off prolifically, erik into a saint Nicky’s knight in shinning armor who shows up at christmas and the championship game and supports nicky from afar throughout the whole trilogy and drake is the true monster lurking behind andrews trauma who shows up at not-thanksgiving and haunts andrew throughout the whole trilogy, what do you mean andrew and nicky stand as foils to each other, nicky out and proud and loud and affectionate and andrew quiet and sturdy and brutal. What do you mean nicky defaults to humor and smiles as a mask for any sort of discomfort and pain and andrew spends the first two books choking on artificial cheer.

[theseyellowdays]

ok yesterday i saw a post about how kevin lost $10 in a bet about neil which was silly goofy and whatever but it got me to thinking about how actually kevin has so much faith in his people that i could bawl my eyes out.

[theseyellowdays]

my favourite bits of the unhinged kandreil draft snippet

honestly this is a goldmine of insane moments. love nora for this.

THEIR BANTER THO

good to know neil's always been a cunty diva

it's giving you'll just have to taste me when he's kissing you. r.i.p. kandreil au kevin you truly had infinite rizz.

the way i feel like i've been sledgehammered

andreil still going strong

the way they have me giggling and twirling my hair kicking my feet booktok couples could only DREAM of having this kinda chemistry

i don't think i need to say anything

[theseyellowdays]

I know we all want to see Jean's healing and the Jerejean flourishing, and his evolution, but... I also want to see Jean Moreau very angry. Very very angry. I want something to click in his head and he messes it up. I want the Ravens to think "Who is this guy? Have we really been pissing him off for the last 5 years? Uh-oh..."

I said it once. Jean is a wolf who has been made to believe that he is a beaten poodle with no teeth. When he realizes what they have done to him, he will be a rabid wolf.