#but my mother will get so angry at me. that will almost completely definitely happen

[cr0wc0rpse]

I am so so tired. Barely sleeping and then waking up at 8:30am when I’ve typically been waking up much later is a little agony

[misserabella]

playing dangerous

police! ellie williams x fem! dealer! reader

pt2

summary; this really cute cop wants you to talk, and she perfectly knows how to make that happen.

cw; fingering, making out, orgasm denial, teasing, oral sex (r giving), choking, praising, degradation, mention of drugs and deals, mention of weed, usage of drugs, cuffing…

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

“Got you.” you groaned, her body pressing you up against the cold and harsh wall of the dark alleyway. You laughed when you felt her hands on you, registering you.

“Woah woah, get me a coffee first at least, wouldn’t you?” the officer turned you around, her auburn hair and green eyes popping under the dim lights. You smirked. “Got nothing on me, officer. Pinky promise.” you rose your pinky finger and she slapped it away, making you laugh.

If you weren’t high you would probably be scared shitless right now. You’d been caught by a police officer in the middle of a deal, and now she had you completely cornered in a goddamn hallway. You were trapped. This could get real bad.

“You’re definitely on something. Why don’t you tell me what it is, huh?” you sighed when her big and veiny hands took your face, her eyes focusing on yours to see how dilated your pupils were.

“I’m onto you, if that’s what you mean, officer.” you smirked and she huffed. Up this close you could see how long her lashes were and the little freckles decorating her cheeks. She was hot. Really hot. First cop you ever considered hot. And the weed on your system was making it much easier for you to forget that she was a cop. “Let’s get in the back of your cop car, officer.” you smiled at her, one of your hands coming up to rest on her chest. “You can ask me anything you want there.” you said, and she squinted her eyes.

“Anything?” her eyebrows perked up and you nodded.

“Anything.” you promised.

She looked away for a few seconds before sighing. Your smile only grew. The officer pulled her cuffs from her side and your eyebrows arched.

“ ‘S that for me? You gonna cuff me, officer?” you teased and she rolled her eyes.

“If you want me to go by your rules you’re gonna have to go by mine too, sweetheart.” that little and sarcastic nickname made you shiver. It sounded a little too good coming from her lips.

“Kinky.” you winked at her. “I like it.”

You handed her your hands and she cuffed you, a little more tighter than needed too, but you still liked it. You were down bad. She looked amazing on that fucking uniform.

She pulled you on the back, following right behind and closing the doors of the car with her keys once inside. It was cool, and the leather was comfortable on your back. You were too high for this. Now that you were so close you could smell her perfume. And god if you didn’t like it…

“Okay, now, tell me what you’re onto and who did you just sell it to.” she said, and you looked at her, silence filling the car.

“Why don’t you tell me your name first? Maybe I’ll tell you then.” you gave her a smile and her green eyes squinted at you. After a few seconds she huffed.

“Ellie.” she answered and your mind repeated it over and over again. It sounded just as pretty as her.

“Hmmm…” you hummed, leaning closer, your eyes on her lips as you cocked your head to the side while looking at her. “Pretty.” “My name is y/n, by the way.”

“Yeah, whatever. Now. Tell me what you sell.” she ordered, and your pussy throbbed.

“Oh yeah, use more that tone.” you whispered. “I like it.” you let out a choked laughter when her hands suddenly snapped and gripped your neck.

She was extremely close to your face, her angry eyes boring into yours.

“Talk.” she spat, and you almost whimpered.

“Oh, I’ll sing if you know where to touch, Ellie.” you whispered, and she took a deep breath.

“Is that all you need? A little fuck for you to start talking?” she inquired, her free hand landing on your thigh, the warmth of her palm seeping into your jeans.

“Why don’t you find out, officer?” you smirked against her lips, and before you could blink, she was kissing you, harshly, angry, and you were loving it.

You moaned, pushing up your hips for her to have a better access to the button of your jeans when she started to fumble with it. Quickly enough the leader was sticking to your naked thighs, your jeans forgotten on the floor of the car.

“Ah, Ellie.” you moaned when she cupped your cunt over your panties, her fingers pressing against your clit and making your head fall backwards.

“Talk.” she repeated, and you bit your lip when she pulled your panties aside, you couldn’t help the whimper that left your lips when her fingers dipped into your folds, fingertips soaked on your slick. Her fingers were moving against your clit and you were seeing stars. When you didn’t answer she stopped and pulled away.

“No! Please don’t stop.” you whimpered, and she repeated her order.

“Talk.”

“Fuck…” your hips rose towards her hand when she started to tease you again, barely touching you. “Weed, shit, I’m on weed.” you muttered, and you had to bite down on a scream when he plunged one of her fingers inside of you, curling it against your g spot. “Oh, fuck!”

You moaned when she started to fuck you like that. “See? That wasn’t so hard.” she smiled, and you would have thought of a clever come back if you weren’t feeling so good. “Atta girl.” you moaned, and she scoffed, adding another finger. “Someone is needy, huh?” she muttered against your neck when you started to fuck yourself on her fingers.

“Ellie…” you whimpered, already on edge now that her thumb against your clit. You were tightening around her fingers, and your cunt was squelching with your building orgasm.

“Oh, look at you. Already so close. You gonna cum for me, hm? Gonna cum all over my fingers?” you nodded, and just as you were about to reach your peak, she pulled her fingers away, making you whimper.

“No! I was so close, please, Ellie, please.” you begged and she laughed.

“Aw, aren’t you cute…” she falsely pouted at you, her thumb on your bottom lip, getting closer.

“Tell me who you just sold it to.” she ordered, once more starting to play with your clit. You sighed and pulled at your cuffs, moaning.

“I can’t.” you muttered. And she stopped touching you.

“Fuck.” you whined, your hips pushing against her gone touch. “Okay! Okay!” your eyes were rimmed with tears, your voice all wobbly and fragile. “Eugene. I sell to Eugene.” you whimpered, moaning when she plunger her two fingers back inside your pussy, starting her relentless pace and quickly building back up your orgasm. “Fuck, yes, yes, don’t stop please. I’m gonna cum!” you cried out, that well known warmth spreading all over your lower stomach.

“That’s it. Cum for me.” she smirked, and watched you fell apart as you reached your peak, your thighs clamping on her hand and shaking, your mouth falling open in weak and spent moans as you came all over her fingers.

She fucked you through it until you were whimpering due to the overstimulation. Her fingers were sticky with your cum, which she tasted as she pushed them inside her mouth.

You were breathing heavily, still some spasms making your legs jerk when she hummed.

“Drug trafficking and intake, huh? You’re a really bad girl, maybe I should send you to jail.” she said and your eyes widened. Oh no, you couldn’t go there.

“No please, Ellie, I’ll be good. I promise.” you begged, your beautiful and teary doe eyes staring into her harsh emerald ones.

“You’ll be good?” she inquired, her eyebrows arching.

“Yes, yes, I promise.” you looked at her, and one of your hands slowly made its way up from her knee to her clothed cunt. “Let me show you.” you whispered, leaning in until only mere inches stood between the two of you. Your lips brushed hers, and when she didn’t pull away, you kissed her. She corresponded the kiss with the same intensity, your fingers quickly unbuckling the pants of her uniform and tugging them down her legs the best you would with your cuffs still on. She helped you, pulling off her panties as well. You moaned when you noticed how wet she was. Fuck. You couldn’t wait to eat her out.

She hummed against your mouth when your fingers spread the lips of her pussy apart, her slick connecting them in fragile strings. You quickly pulled away from her, and she sat facing you and leaning on the car’s door. You sat/laid on your tummy the best you could. You smirked at the way her thighs shook when your breath hit her cunt. Ellie bit down on her bottom lip when you started to slowly kiss her inner thighs, getting closer where she needed you most. Her hands laced on your hair, pulling it backwards to see much better your face when your tongue met her cunt. She moaned, and your nose nudged at her clit, you smirked against her when she threw her head backwards, her emerald and shiny eyes closing in ecstasy.

“Taste so good…” you praised, and she moaned when your tongue pushed into her, lapping at all she would give you.

“Fuck.” her grip tightened on your hair when you moved up to her clit, your plushy lips sucking on it. You middle finger pushed inside, curling up towards her g spot, making her back arch. “Don’t stop.” she whispered, and you started to eat her out like a starved woman, humming and moaning at the pulling on your hair and the sweet noises that would fall from her lips.

Your second finger went in, and that’s when she started to shake. You gripped at her right thigh the best you could while being cuffed, trying to get her to not move, wanting to make her feel good.

“Shit, y/n.” he moaned, and your pussy throbbed. ‘Cause she sounded as sweet as she tasted. Your fingers sped up, her moans rose in volume. You knew she was close by the way her walls were clamping around your fingers, the way she whispered your name over and over again, begging you to go faster, harder.

You moaned when she finally fell apart, warm and sticky cum painting your lips and filling your mouth as you lapped it all up, fucking her through it.

She hissed and pulled from your hair so you’d detach from her pussy when the overstimulation became too much for her, almost painful. Your hazed expression met her, still drunk on her taste, on her pussy…

She pulled from you to land a searing kiss on your lips, her tongue pushing into your mouth to taste herself, humming.

You two kissed for a couple of minutes before she’d pull away, her thumb pressing against your bottom lip, shining in spit.

“You’re free to go this time. But next time you won’t be that lucky.” she said, and you smiled at her.

“I’ll be waiting for it then.”

-

a/n; okay buy just imagine them meeting over and over again and ellie always letting reader go ‘till they finally develop a crush on each other 😭

ellie williams masterlist! <3

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: Nudity

Chapter Word Count: 2552

—-MDNI—-

A/N: sorry this one took a while! I’ve had so much going on, I’ve struggled to get time to myself. I wrote this over the course of several nights so pls let me know of any errors as it’s only proof read by me

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Please read the below first:

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 7

Dean and I stood side by side in the dimly lit parking lot, trying not to make eye contact with each other as Sam stood in front of us; arms folded across his chest with his foot tapping impatiently. He gnawed on his bottom lip, frowning and shaking his head. He was the spitting image of an angry mother.

“You did what?” He asked, disbelief in his voice.

“Look, Sammy,” Dean started and I was unable to tell if he was about to be boastful or apologetic.

“Don’t you ‘look Sammy’ me. We’re on a job Dean, couldn’t you have kept it in your pants a bit longer?”

“Sam I’m so sorry, we didn’t mean for it to happen, it just sort of…did,” I stepped in, embarrassment taking over as I caught sight of my reflection in the Impalas drivers side window. My hair was tousled and my lipstick was almost completely worn off save for a few streaks under my bottom lip. That, and also the fact that my shredded underwear was currently scrunched up in Deans pocket. I couldn’t tell if I was more horrified when I saw him pick them up off the study floor and ‘save them for later’, or the fact that I may have developed a new kink for having my panties sliced off my body with a hunting knife.

“(Y/n),” Sam’s eyes softened, “you have nothing to apologise for; Dean should know better.” His words made Dean scoff.

“She’s not all sunshine and rainbows Sam, she’s the one who started it.”

“I did not! I only told you to kiss me, not fuck me into that desk!”

Sam’s eyes widened and his ears went pink, Dean snapping back at me before the younger brother had a chance to think.

“Yes you did.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Yes, you definitely did. Don’t lie,” he paused, his tone changing, “you can’t deny it sweetheart - you wanted me,” Dean smirked, gesturing to himself.

“Ok, prove it - what did I say?” I crossed my arms across my chest, remembering I wasn’t wearing a bra. His smirk grew, suddenly making me very aware that I was most likely wrong about this and he was going to be obnoxious about the fact that he was right.

“You said - and I quote - ‘are you gonna fuck me or what, Winchester?’ Now to me, that sounds like you instigating this.”

I scowled at him, wanting to slap that lipstick-smeared smirk right off his face.

“Fuck you,” I spat, rapidly having to cross my legs where I stood as I started to feel more ‘essence of Dean’ trickle down my thigh.

“You already did darlin’.”

“Ok ENOUGH!” Sam got between us, putting up his hands, “let’s just finish the job and go home. But just so you know,” he pointed at us, “you are BOTH in VERY big trouble.”

*

The ride back to the bunker was a little awkward. I sat in the back, not wanting to move too much for fear of making a mess on the impeccable upholstery and Sam sat in total silence, giving us both the cold shoulder. Dean however drove the whole way home with the biggest grin on his face, occasionally glancing at me in the rear view mirror. Sam had taken the liberty of packing everyone’s luggage into the Impala before we had even left the auction house, so I wasn’t even granted the simple pleasure of washing Deans intoxicating scent from my hair in the motel shower. I just had to sit there for the next three hours breathing him in and replaying every red hot second of our time together in that study.

*

Dean pulled into the underground garage to the bunker and before he’d even put it in park I’d thrown the door open and jumped out, racing back to my room. I heard Dean shout after me but I had sprinted too far to know what he’d said. I ran through the corridors like a princess in a castle; long dress bunched up in my fists so I didn’t trip, with the rest billowing behind me as I frantically searched for my destination in this labyrinth. Upon reaching my door I flung it open and raced inside, slamming it behind me. I paced into the bathroom, heels clicking on the tiles and flicked on the light before turning the shower on and wincing at the loud clanking still coming from the plumbing in here. As the water began to patter into the shower basin I hurriedly peeled off my shoes and my dress before sticking my toe into the water now pooling in the bottom. The moment it was the perfect temperature I stepped in, sighing as the liquid poured over me and washed away the electric tingle on my skin left behind by the older Winchesters hands. I felt normal again, and much less sticky too as I lathered soap over myself. I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as I slid down the tiles and sat down, letting the shower soak my hair. I tried my best to steady my mind and be calm, but all that I could think about was Dean. The way he touched me, running his rough hands over my soft skin. The way said my name; moaning it in a deep breathless voice. And oh boy… the way his mouth felt on mine was like something out of this world, the taste of him alone made me dizzy. I wanted to run to wherever he was right now and press my lips to his - to get high off of him again. It’s a crying shame that he’s such a jackass, so naturally I’m reluctant to give him the satisfaction. He’d be smug for days - or weeks - if I even mentioned that this was how I was feeling, let alone if I was actually acting on the impulses.

I must’ve sat in the bottom of the shower for at least twenty minutes, my brain going over the events on a loop, replaying again and again. In the end I gave up trying to silence my thoughts and turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fuzzy white towel around myself. I grabbed a smaller second towel and dried my hair, leaving it damp but not dripping as I walked into the bedroom. I searched for my duffle for a few minutes before it dawned on me: it was still in the car. ALL of my clothes were in there.

“Shit shit shit shit,” I searched through the wardrobe and dresser in the room, hoping to find something, ANYTHING, that I could wear to go and retrieve my bag but there was nothing to be found. I sat on the edge of the bed contemplating my options as I started to shiver, my damp hair making me cold. I considered wearing the dress again, but the stains on it made me think otherwise as I was now clean and fresh from the shower. My eyes darted to the door. There’s only one option: theft. Deans room was right opposite mine and he didn’t spend much time in there so the chances of me running into him were slim. I stood up, determination coursing through me as I marched to my bedroom door, opened it and quietly stepped into the hallway. I looked left and right, sighing in relief at the emptiness. I quietly padded across to Deans door, incredibly aware of how cold the air was out here. I grasped the handle and twisted, the door opening with a small click.

“Yes!” I whispered to myself, grateful it was already unlocked. Ducking in I closed the door behind me and spun around, pressing my back to the cool wood to observe the room. Eyes widening, my blood ran cold and I dropped to the floor. Dean was asleep - or so he seemed to be - above the covers and still fully dressed in his suit, a nudie mag open and covering his face. He had one hand behind his head and the other rested on his stomach, rising and falling with each breath. FUCK. I looked around whilst on all fours, feeling the dust from the floor sticking to my damp skin. So much for the shower. I spotted Deans dresser off to the side of the room; if he was asleep, I should be able to sneak in, grab a T-shirt and sneak out again with no problem. I crawled over to the drawers and started sliding them open painfully slowly to inspect the contents. It wasn’t until I opened the fourth drawer that I struck gold. Silently cheering to myself I snatched the first T-shirt I saw and pushed the draw closed. As I turned around to leave I near enough jumped out of my skin, shrieking a little. Dean was now laying on his side, head propped up with one hand and he watched me in total silence, the corner of his lips turned up.

“You need any help down there?” His voice was low and gravelly.

“No thank you,” I stood up, clutching his T-shirt in one hand and trying not to let my towel fall with the other, the corner now refusing to tuck in. “I got what I came for.”

“And you need one of my T-shirts because…?”

“None of your business,” I taunted, inching my way towards the door. Dean raised an eyebrow.

“It is if you’re being a little thief.”

“I’m only borrowing it.”

“Sure you are sweetheart,” he grinned, turning to lay on his back again, this time propped up on his pillows against the headboard with his hands behind his head. There was silence for a few moments as he chewed on his bottom lip, eyeing me up and down. He made me feel totally exposed. Out of nowhere he jumped up, reaching me where I stood by the door in one swift movement.

“I tell you what - you can keep the T-shirt for life on one condition,” he stepped closer, those piercing green eyes keeping mine entranced. I swallowed.

“What condition…?” My voice suddenly felt very small and quiet as a result of his close proximity.

“Drop the towel and put it on.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I wasn’t able to stop the heat rising to my cheeks and I couldn’t tell if it was from frustration at his arrogance or the fact that the low rumble of his voice was making my knees weak. The words bouncing off the walls in my mind failed to leave my lips, and in my silence he spoke up again.

“Or unless you’re happy walking all the way to the garage in nothing but a towel, you still have the option to refuse.” I scowled and smacked his chest.

“You knew?! If you knew I’d left my bag behind, why didn’t you bring it?”

“Because,” he put his hand on the wall beside my head and leaned in a little, “where’s the fun in that?” I tried my best to hold his gaze, fighting every urge to look away as my heart started to beat faster and faster. I’ve already fucked the man so what have I got to lose? I placed my hands firmly on Deans chest and pushed with enough force to knock him back, the backs of his knees hitting the edge of the bed, making him collapse onto it. Leaning back on his hands he looked at me expectantly as I took a step towards him and away from the door. I tried my best to keep a stern expression, refusing to let him know that any of this was affecting me - the last thing I wanted was for smug old Dean Winchester to know that everything he does makes my heart hammer in my chest. I threw the T-shirt at him, hard enough that he was taken aback as he clutched the dark fabric in his large hands. A look of disappointment started to cross his face before I reached up and untucked my towel letting it fall to the floor as I stood in front of him, fighting every urge not to cover myself up. At first I was unable to look him in the eye, scared of what that alluring evergreen stare would do to me if I did. Eventually I caved in, biting my lip as I saw how entranced he was; eyes flitting over every curve on my body, studying me like a work of art. I watched him swallow, throat bobbing as he licked his lips, jaw going slack and his pupils dilating. He was silent. I took another step forward so I was in reach of him and his hand immediately shot out to touch my thigh. Right as his fingers grazed my skin I smacked his hand away, pulling him from his trance.

“Please…” was all he managed to say, all cockiness gone from his attitude. I snatched the T-shirt from his loose grip, pulling it on over my head and down over my body, finally covering myself from his burning hot gaze. Dean was finally pulled from his trance when he could no longer see the curves of my figure, his eyes eventually meeting mine again. He looked a little flustered, his hands now crossed in his lap.

“My clothes look good on you,” he said, an unusual tone to his voice - something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. He eyed my chest, observing the way the loose black fabric fell over the soft curves of my breasts and did little to hide my perky nipples. His eyes travelled south, surveying the rest of me before stopping and lingering at my thighs right where his top ends, hinting at the shape of my ass cheeks hiding underneath. He probably would have sat there all evening and ogled at me, however I could feel the tiredness start to hang heavy in my body and weigh on my eyelids, getting worse as the minutes passed. I groaned internally, remembering I still needed to go and get my duffle. But there was something about the way that Dean was looking at me that was making it hard to leave. I took a few more steps towards him until I was standing between his knees, swatting his hands away as they skimmed the backs of my thighs, sending goosebumps over my skin. I grabbed his chin unexpectedly, making him flinch. However it was only a matter of seconds until he was like putty in my hands. His muscles relaxed and he looked up at me with hooded eyes, mouth agape as I tilted his chin up to face me. I leaned down, our lips millimetres apart as I felt his hot rapid breath fan over my cheeks. I watched his pupils blow wide at the close proximity, a shiver ghosting over his skin as he stared up at me.

“Goodnight Dean,” I hummed, before letting go and standing up straight, turning to leave the room. I picked up my towel and opened the door, looking over my shoulder one last time to witness the starstruck Winchester sitting in a daze right where I left him.

“Thanks for the T-shirt.”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 1

[auspicioustidings]

Ae Fond Kiss - Part 6

Despondency

Summary: Everything blows up. Words: 1.6k TWs: reference to miscarriage

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6

When you first woke up you were unaware that yesterday your world had just stopped. You wondered why you were cold when usually your husband stayed in bed with you until you woke up and him holding you always made things a perfect temperature. 

And then it all came back and you shot out of bed like a bullet. You needed to get to Joe. This was never how you wanted him to find out who his father was, and you felt like the worst mother on the planet for letting him be sent away after such a traumatic revelation. You needed to apologise and see how he was doing, sit down and talk with him before anything else. 

Fuck you felt old and worn beyond your years. But you fought the despondency, your kid needed you. You loved Simon and you loved Johnny, but they would always come second to your son and you were so sure they would not have it any other way. 

The moment you stumbled out of the bedroom you heard the arguing. 

“She’s my fucking wife! Yer a shite best friend LT, how could ye?”

You probably should have gotten some context before inserting yourself in the conversation but you were hardly thinking before you barrelled down the stairs and into the heart of it. They needed to calm down. Everyone needed to be thinking first and foremost of the brilliant little boy caught in the middle. 

“I- we never would have if we knew you were alive Johnny! I wouldn't betray you like that and neither would he! He was your best friend, please, you know he wouldn't hurt someone he loves like that.”

“Aye, we naw counting Las Almas then?”

Johnny knew it was cruel, but he had become a cruel man in Russia. He had to be. He had used so many cruel truths over the past decade to prove himself. But you were not the acceptable collateral he had just made of you to hurt Simon. Simon may not have loved you yet back when he had betrayed you, but the betrayal stood all the same.

He looked like the Ghost he called himself, pale and sickly. So he hadn't told you then. He had married you without ever telling you how his hands had pushed at your husbands shoulders to get him to present properly so he could take him deeper. How his cock had spilled filthy promises inside of him as his tongue dripped with the honey of confession. If I had known I would have scared her off at the start. If I had known what it'd feel like to watch you fall in love with someone else.

“No, fuck no princess that is not what he's talking about. I promise you that's not what he means.”

Johnny looked at you and saw the horror on your face. Not just horror though. Guilt. That was definitely guilt.

“What is it ye think I mean exactly?” he growled, starting to lose himself to the anger of the moment. 

“I- I-” you stuttered out, clearly in a panic. 

He came to the wrong conclusion.

“It was Simon I sent tae tell ye I was hurt… ye didn't get back to base until the day after” he said, almost startled at the realisation of what he thought he had uncovered. 

“Jesus fuck! I was in the med bay and ye needed someone tae get ye through was that it? A moment of weakness? Didnae even think tae tell me even when I asked ye tae marry me or when ye got pregnant with our son?!”

Somewhere in the depths of his mind he knew that they were the words he had been screaming at himself for over a decade. The words he tried to reassure himself with even when they weren't true. Simon had never been a moment of weakness. Looks like he hadn't been for you either. That’s what made him so angry, that he couldn’t even blame you.

The Simon he knew would have become Ghost on him by now. He’d be scruffed by the neck and growled at to calm down. But this was not quite the Simon he knew. Instead of paying any mind to him, he was desperately holding your face with complete tenderness, trying to block Johnny out. You looked… well now that Johnny was trying to figure out what the fuck was happening, you looked ruined. 

Surely he must be right then? What else could have happened on a night where Simon stayed over. Fuck he was a hypocrite. He knew it and it made him so goddamn mad at himself. Typical John MacTavish, hurting everyone around him. He choked back panic and got out of there fast before his anger could turn back on himself in front of two of the people he loved most in the world.  

– 

Simon couldn’t worry about Johnny right at that moment. His priority was you because he knew exactly what you had taken from that outburst. Fuck. You thought Johnny was angry at you over the miscarriage. 

“Hey it’s ok, breathe for me.”

“I- he- it was all my fault. I should have done something differently. I should’ve known earlier so I wasn’t drinking and was eating right.”

He couldn’t do it. He had thought about it, letting you believe that’s what had made Johnny mad.

“He thinks we slept together that night.”

He saw the confusion. Of course you’d be confused because why would Johnny ever think that? Only what you didn’t know was that he already knew he was capable of fucking people he shouldn’t be. He thought about saving himself. He had no guarantee he would ever get to hold you again if you knew what he had done, how selfish he had been. Johnny had shown him that ring and he had lost it. Changed nothing that he was stupidly in love with the idiot, he wasn’t his to love. Maybe you weren’t either. 

“I fucked him in Las Almas” he said, blunt and clear. 

You blinked at him, shocked still. It took a moment to even figure out what those words meant because surely not. There was no way that while you were at home going through the most traumatic period of your life alone that your husband was sleeping with his best friend. There was no way that said best friend was then the one to comfort you about it with the taste of your husband still on his tongue. 

And then Johnny had… that motherfucker had come back from the dead and acted like you were the one in the wrong for falling in love after he faked his own death? He hadn’t even asked about his son. His son who had his eyes and his laugh and his temper. No, he had swanned in like he hadn’t broken your heart and acted like you had no right to move on when he had cheated and lied. 

Maybe you should have been angry at Simon and you were sure that would come later, but right now you were storming after the fucking idiot trying to run away from his problems without even responding to your husband (second husband perhaps, you wondered vaguely if you were now breaking the law, not that it mattered when you were about to murder the first one).

“John MacTavish you get your arse back here!”

Johnny’s anger sparked against your tone and he turned himself right around. You wanted a fight? Oh he was ready for a fight. If he was honest with himself hearing you sound so angry was a relief after seeing the look on your face before.  

“Right then, let’s dae this!”

You turned the corner in a fury. He was taken aback. He had seen you mad, had yelling matches with you, but this was something altogether different. It scared the shit out of him. 

“Sure let’s. While you were busy sleeping with your superior officer I was losing our first baby all by myself. You then sent that superior officer to tell me you were hurt and I wanted to die. He stayed with me because I wasn’t in any state to be alone, but unlike you I was fully sincere when I told you I loved you so I didn’t do anything with him!”

Johnny was frozen in place as was Simon who had just come around the corner to join them. 

“I was so ashamed that I had lost our baby that I never told you any of it because I couldn’t stand you hating me. And then Joey came and I loved the family we had built so much. He’s a great kid by the way, not that you’ve bothered to ask. And you left me alone with him when I didn’t know what I was doing. You made that choice. I didn’t think I was going to survive losing you. At one point I was so sure I would give him up because he deserved so much more than me. But I survived it all and I raised him to be kind and brave and honest because those were all the things that made me love his father. They were all the things his step-dad was too. But the two of you lied the whole time.”

You were crying you knew, so angry and hurt that everything was spilling over. 

“Get out. Both of you.”

“Princess…”

“Bonnie…”

“Get the fuck out!”

You didn’t look at them as they left. You didn’t have it figured out yet, but you had survived worse than this and you would continue to survive. Now you just had to get your head back on straight and go get the one person in this situation who had done nothing to cause it and deserved every answer that he wanted. If you had to live the rest of your life with an irreparably broken heart then so be it, you weren’t the one that mattered here.

[dairy-farmer]

Behold! This thing! AKA me combining my love of younger tops and Tim being forced to accept love and affection:

When Damian first arrives at his father's home he is, loath as he is to admit it, scared. Scared to have had to leave everything and everyone he's ever known, scared his father will reject him, and scared if that happens his mother and grandfather will not take him back. So he's suspicious and violent and definitely lashing out: particularly at father's current Robin, Timothy Drake. Drake, according to grandfather and his own observations, is highly intelligent and a skilled vigilante - Father's favorite protege, even if he would never be so crass as to say so out loud. Drake had offered a tentative and friendly greeting and when Damian rejected and snubbed him, instead of getting angry Drake had gotten an appraising and calculating look in his eyes.

A few weeks into Damian's stay, Drake asks him to accompany him to the Batcave. This works in Damian's favor, since he had decided to try and remove Drake by pushing him from somewhere high and hopefully pass it off as an unfortunate accident. But what Damian finds when he joins Drake is nothing he could have expected: Tim gives him a Robin uniform. While Damian is (unacceptably, amateuriously) frozen, Tim explains that he had helped Alfred redesign and tailor a new Robin suit for him; he tells Damian that, even if he can't completely understand what Damian is going through, he knows that Damian is probably scared and worried about his place in the family (Damien wants to talk at the accusation being afraid, but it's true and he's still trying to process the uniform in his hands), and so Tim decided to give Robin to him. Batman needs a Robin, so he can't get rid of Damian if he is Robin (Damian almost wants to point out though glaringly obvious flaws in that logic, but can't bring himself to do so).

Damian does have the presence of mind to ask what will become of Tim: is he leaving? (Has Damian forced Tim from his family and home? He had been planning to do just that, but now the idea made his stomach hurt) But no, Tim has apparently been working on a new identity for a while now - although he won't specify if it was because he was planning to graduate from Robin on his own, or if it was a contingency in case something like this happened. Which is how Red Robin is born.

No one has ever done such a thing for Damian, given up something so important and personal to ensure Damian feels like he belongs (sure, people in the league had given their lives for him, but that had been because of his mother and grandfather, not because they cared about Damian himself). That is the start of an... intense interest (not an obsession) with Tim. It starts out fairly innocent, Damian is just a 10 year old child when he arrives, but it's only a year or two before his interest starts to become more... visceral, more... carnal in nature. Before he starts to want.

Tim is not a tall man, and his build is more slender than even Dick's. Even so, it takes a while for Damian to outgrow him. But Damian uses that time wisely: getting to know Tim better - learning his likes and dislikes and his character, subtly sabotaging those that dare to consider themselves worthy of Tim, and sparring with the family - including Tim. Tim is well aware of his physical limitations, and has trained long and had to compensate, becoming the hardest of the Bats to actually catch or pin. But Damian perseveres, and waits to make any moves until he has managed to pin Tim during matches 20 times in a row. He would never hurt Tim, would rather die, but Tim can be difficult when it comes to accepting love and affection - his birth parents apparently being to blame for his low self-esteem and trouble believing when others assure him of their feelings.

So Damian waits until he's 17 and both larger than and fully capable of restraining Tim if necessary, before he approaches Tim to confess his feelings. He waits until everyone else has left the Manor: Dick back in Blud, Jason with the Outlaws, Cass across the world, Bruce in space for a JLA mission, and Alfred taking one of rare trips to England to visit his (other, blood) family. Tim had suggested they forgo patrol unless necessary until one of the other returns, that way they won't be caught without backup in an emergency. After dinner - nothing fancy in the slightest, since while they can both cook, neither of them particularly enjoys it- they spent a pleasant, unremarkable evening enjoying each other's company. Eventually Tim announces he's heading to bed, and Damian says he will accompany him. Once they reach the family wing, Tim opens his door and turns to bid Damian goodnight, when Damian asks to come in, saying he has something important to discuss.

Tim invites him in, only looking the slightest bit confused when Damian turns the lock. Damian stands in front of Tim and puts his hands on Tim's shoulders, taking in every detail of his lovely face, from his silky black hair to his confused but indulgently affectionate expression. Damian had a plan, well thought out and thorough, but looking into those Beloved eyes he finds himself throwing out that plan and just dragging Tim into a deep kiss.

Tim let's out a surprised squeak before trying to push himself from Damian's embrace: what is happening!? Why would Damian suddenly kiss him? Has he somehow been pollened or mind controlled!?! Damian, of course, isn't having any of it - now that he's finally kissed Tim and felt his soft lips against his own, breathed the very air from Tim's lungs- he had no intention of letting Tim go until he's confessed, convinced Tim of his love, and made Tim his (with his cock).

Tim being sure that Damian has been compromised - he's never acted like this or hinted at these kinds of feelings! (Only Tim thinks this; everyone else is well aware of Damian's crush and possessive feelings). Just Tim struggling (but not really putting his whole effort into it because he doesn't want to risk hurting Damian by accident, even if he has been pollend or mind controlled) against Damian, as Damian alternates between murmuring words of love and devotion and stripping Tim's clothes away to run his hands across that beautiful, scarred skin.

Tim fighting to keep his wits about him against all these unfamiliar sensations - yeah, he's had sex before, but only a few times and it was a long while ago, before Damian joined the family. Damian very very gently non-coning Tim, who's only really resisting because he thinks something's wrong with Damian. After a few hours, once Damian is satisfied, they'll talk about everything - no, Damian hasn't been drugged or controlled or anything, he was just finally overcome with affection and lust and had no choice but to finally ravish Tim.

.... So yeah, have this thing😅 ~🦇❤️

!!!!!!!!!!

damian gently non conning tim who is convinced damian is possessed or brainwashed and therefore doesn't want to risk hurting him!!! damian having spent years pining for tim, thinking of the day he'd finally act on his affections, thinking of all the practice and preparation, and research on tim he did to make sure it would be good for him. (and it is, damian is easily the best fuck of tim's life bar none and he hates himself a little for the thought as damian grinds their hips together while whispering so softly and gently about how good tim feels, about how he's wanted this for so long).

damian gently bullying and pressuring tim to let him fuck him while the family is gone, utterly convinced he has succeeded in seducing tim until it's morning and tim is trying to run tests on him in the cave.

[graendoll]

I'm almost through season 6 of the queer EMT show and I have a couple of thoughts I really need to get off my chest.

Before I dive in I want to share an observation. It feels like there are two tiers of main ensemble cast and I'm basing this on the character development of each of them. Tier 1 feels like its Bobby, Buck and Maddie who have gone through the most dramatic character arcs, while tier 2 is Athena, Hen, and Eddie. I can't decide which group Chim is in tbh and this is hardly scientific so...

The point of all that is that everything else I'm going to say is based off my observation that Buck is more fleshed out and developed as a character than Eddie.

So now to the point!

First, Buck absolutely adores Eddie. Like is definitely 100% in love with the man. I'm only on episode 14 of season 6 so I haven't even gotten to the onscreen bi realization or the coming out scene outside of gifs on this here hell site. But currently, the way Buck looks at Eddie is so fucking heart eyed its ridiculous.

The hysteria when Eddie is in danger - the screaming at the mudslide, the absolute hard reboot at the shooting? Buck is completely beside himself at the idea of losing Eddie. He literally cries on Christopher's shoulder at the thought of losing him and Chris losing his dad.

This is not standard BFF behavior, I'm sorry.

And don't even get me started on the couch metaphor...I have too much to say about that to include it here.

But what I do want to talk about is the coma episode. Because I feel like that episode was a purposeful "no-homo" episode and here's why:

Buck is in an alternate universe and runs to Hen and Chim, sees Maddie and Bobby. But Eddie is literally just referenced once as "the angry guy" and his contribution to the entire episode is to bring Christopher to see Buck while hes unconscious. Which is weird!

Yes, Eddie rescued Buck and yes he tells the medical team to do better than their best, but compared to Buck literally hauling Eddie's limp body into an ambulance? It's a pretty vanilla response.

And then he doesn't show up in alternate Bucks reality. This is, i believe, one part writers trying to no homo the thing and one part writers implying that Eddie and Chris are a replacement for Bucks "real family" which undermines the entire guardian arc in a very weird way. So it definitely seems, during s6 at least, that Buddie was flat out not happening (again...I'm on e14 only).

So if Buck is in love with Eddie through narrative and acting choices (based on recent PR from Oliver S implying hes lowkey played Buck queer) where is Eddie at? What gives?

I'll tell you what gives.

Eddie is the most repressed motherfucker on the planet. Eddie goes to a call involving a vibrator getting stuck in a woman and he barely clocks that's what's happening.

This man has only had missionary sex for the purpose of baby making and it shows. I have definitely HC'd that Eddie is demi but he's also just locked down so tight. No wonder he spent a whole season beating the crap out of random strangers in illegal fights!

So, what's my point?

My POINT is this. Eddie may be queer underneath all that repression, but he has no idea. None. Zero. Zip. Eddie thinks he can't find a wife and mother for Christopher because he's BROKEN, not because he's maybe just not that into women.

And yes, Buck coming out might give him a clue. Tommy being gay might show him something he hasn't really seen in terms of what a gay man looks like. But that Catholic guilt ridden man has a LONG way to go before he will confess to the fact that he wifed up his bisexual BFF because of non-platonic reasons.

We'll see how the story pans out. But anyone who thinks season 7 is going to end in a Buddie romance is likely incredibly wrong. I mean I haven't seen the episodes yet. So give me a week. But it seems unlikely. Eddie's character is in a very different place than Buck.

Doesn't mean these two don't live together in marital bliss rent free in my head though 😜

[valentinetypewriter]

Me And My Husband - Chapter 5

Taglist (let me know if you want to be on it: @ashlynnmalfoy @ashisabitgay @rainychaosmiracle @uarmysingularity @lafrone

Series Masterlist

Main masterlist // marauders era masterlist

Summary: Barty is avoiding Y/n who is avoiding Sirius and Remus, teen drama at its best. But what happens when a certain someone's younger brother finds out who hurt his best friend

Warnings: swearing, teenagers are kind of dicks sometimes

Notes: sorry this jumps a lot between different characters, there was a lot of stuff I was excited to add into this chapter

Word count: 2,481

It had been two weeks since the Library incident, meaning it had been two whole weeks since Y/n last spoke to Barty. Though it wasn't by her own choice, no the Ravenclaw seemed to be avoiding her. Which is surprisingly easy when you aren't in the same house and share very few classes. Though Barty wasn't the only one avoiding people. Y/n herself had also been avoiding Sirius and Remus, much to a certain sandy haired boy's annoyance. For two weeks Remus had been trying to apologise to Y/n, which is very hard when said girl does nothing but glare right through him as if he didn't exist. What annoyed Remus more than being ignored by Y/n, was how unhelpful Sirius had been since that night in the library. Sirius had seemed more cruel towards her, making harsh remarks and jokes loud enough for the girl to hear. They always made James and Peter laugh, though Remus knew it was because they didn't understand the severity of their situation. And as much as Remus was angry with Sirius he couldn't pretend he himself was innocent, he was just as cruel to the friends of the poor girl who only wanted to get to know the two.

It was again that time of day when Remus would attempt another apology, he thought even if she didn't really want to accept his apology, It would eventually wear her down enough to do so. People didn't often seem to harbour guilt for things they believed were the right thing to do. So as soon as Remus saw the Slytherin girl he was looking for, and thankfully she was alone, he ran over to her calling out her name, making her stop dead in her tracks. With a roll of her eyes Y/n spun around to come face to face with one of the boys she'd been trying to avoid, unfortunately his constant harassment almost made her want to accept his apology so he'd just leave her alone. “What the hell do you want Lupin?” The girl asked in a cold and flat tone “I wanted to apologies for what happened in the library Y/n, I shouldn't have said any of those things” the girl scoffed at the tall boy “I agree, you definitely shouldn't have ever said those things to my friends, and I still don't forgive you” she turned to leave but stopped at the pathetically miserable noise Remus let out “Look Lupin it's been 14 days and you've apologised 32 times already, that's more than twice a day. So take a hint and leave me the fuck alone”.

She tried to leave, Remus though didn't like that and grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving. She whipped her head back and tried pulling away from the tall boy “let go of me Lupin” her voice was cold and almost threatening. “Will you please just listen to me Y/n” the girl tried pulling away once more “I told you no, I don't-” Y/n was cut off by the hand around her wrist tightening, it felt as though her wrist would shatter under his grip “ow! Remus let go please, you're hurting me” her voice wavered and cracked, unable to hide her obvious fear of the boy's sudden change in behaviour. Y/n struggled more in his grip before finally getting free from the boy she assumed had major anger issues. “You know what, maybe my mother was right, you dirty half-bloods are all the same, don't try to talk to me again Lupin. I mean it!” Her voice edged away from the fear it held mere seconds ago to an icy and deep tone. Before the tanned boy could say anything else, Y/n turned around and finally walked off, leaving the boy alone and completely gutted.

“Merlin she's such an uptight bitch” Sirius said to the boy next to him, the said ‘uptight bitch’ he was referring to was none other than Y/n L/n. The only reason he was saying those things, was simply because after another rejection, Remus went sulking to his best friend. Said boy was currently buried under his thick blankets, sulking in his own self pity, Sirius never liked when his friends were upset, no matter what caused it. Sirius was also an incredibly impulsive person, which the two didn't mix very well. “You know what if she doesn't want to talk to you that's fine, I don't care anyway what someone like her thinks of either of us” his harsh words were followed by the loud noise of his stomping feet. Remus peeked his head out of his blanket just enough to see what the raven haired boy was up to, Sirius was currently shoving open the large window beside his bed.

The boy moved over to his bed picking up the enchanted green vase sitting on his bedside table, which for the past two weeks had been the only thing keeping the flowers alive. The angry boy made his way back over to the window, looking out before his attention was directed back to Remus “what are you doing?”. Sirius let out an annoyed huff “getting rid of this stupid thing, if she doesn't want to be ‘friends’ then I'm not going to keep some stupid reminder of her next to my bed” and with that he let the flowers drop out of the window, a quiet smash being heard a few seconds later. Sirius seemed to think that if he couldn't see it, it was no longer his problem. With that said and done, and the window now shut, the grey eyed boy left the room, his anger still burning. Remus just stayed laying in his bed staring up at his own vase, a small ache in his chest as he looked at them.

It had been an entire two days since Y/n was last harassed by Remus, it had been a good experience for the girl, quiet and less annoying. Though she couldn't feel too happy about it, she was still unable to get Barty to talk to her. Not even when she asked Evan and Regulus to help her so many times, he just seemed to avoid everyone and everything. It started with just not talking to her and the rest of their friends, then he was skipping a few meals here and there, and then he stopped showing up to the few classes they shared together, and he stopped going to any meals all together. Y/n heart ached for her friend, she only managed to get passing glimpses of him as he walked through the halls, but even from afar she could tell he didn't look good. Barty seemed more sickly looking, his skin was more pale than usual and he had dark bags under his eyes. Another thing she noticed was how his clothes had been seeming more baggy then his usual.

On the other hand the one thing she didn't seem to worry about was how rude Sirius was towards her recently, she couldn't care less about him or his stupid friend. Well that's what she was telling herself, but no matter how many times she thought that it didn't stop the gut wrenching feeling that twisted her stomach when she saw the green vase that once held flowers she gifted to Sirius, shattered against the ground. The once beautiful flowers were now dried up and dead. All she could do was stare at it thinking about how even though she was beyond angry with him, she never once had a thought to get rid of the gift he gave to her. But perhaps she was wrong to think that. Y/n looked down at her hand, the ring she once thought was pretty now left a sour taste in her mouth, she hated Sirius for that.

The next day when James left his room early for quidditch practice, he had tripped up on his way out, only just managing to catch himself on the door. Peter, who was a very light sleeper and woke up when his friend was getting ready, watched James with a slight bit of worry that was mostly covered by joy at watching his best friend ‘almost’ eat shit “you alright there Bambi?” The joy he felt was obvious in his tone “well I'm certainly awake now Pete” the two quietly laughed together, hoping to not wake up the other two sleeping boys. James looked down to the floor to find out what he tripped on, he was expecting it to be the rug that covered the hallway, thinking that it was probably pulled up by their door. What he saw though was what appeared to be a shoe box, the name Sirius written on the lid. The curly haired boy seemed to completely ignore the fact he had quidditch practice in 10 minutes. As he picked the book up off the floor, he brought it into his room and shut the door behind him.

“What's that?” Peter nodded towards the book James held “dunno, it's for Sirius” the two boys looked over at their sleeping friend “reckon we should wake him?” Peter asked unsure about what to do. James considered it for a few seconds before placing the box on the bedside table of said sleeping boy. He gently shook his friend awake “James I swear if you're asking me to come to your practice again, I'll punch you” James laughed at the tired boys insult “no no Siri, there was a box outside our door with your name on it, almost tripped over it” Sirius couldn't help but let out a tired laugh at his friends misery. “What's in the box?” James shrugged, pulling it off the table and handing it over to Sirius, who was now sitting up. Sirius gently opened the box as James watched over his shoulder, the box was filled with deep red tissue paper. Sirius pulled out the first few layers and felt his heart sink into his gut. In the box was a smaller wooden box, the same one decorated with stars he had gifted to Y/n. there was also a single yellow carnation, just starting to wilt around the edges and seemed to droop slightly when held up. But what made the sad feeling in his stomach bubbled into pure dread was the dark green jewellery box, Sirius knew what sat inside, it was obvious. It was decorated with a crest and motto he was all too familiar with ‘Toujours Pur’. A sick part of him hoped it was a joke, that if he opened the box he'd find nothing but a note, explaining how it was just a cruel prank. He clung to that hope as he slid the box open, the beautiful ring seemed to gleam even in the dim room.

“Wow looks like someone has a secret admirer; some kind of trinket, a flower and even an expensive looking ring” James said as his hand landed on Sirius's shoulder. Peter stood up from his desk, walking over to check out the contents of the gift “holy shit that looks incredibly expensive, whoever it was seems to like you a whole lot” James nodded in agreement “yeah I mean not even my dad got mum something that expensive” Sirius just let out a strained laugh, the two boys just assumed he was nervous about the very pricey display of affection. “hmm, yeah that must really like me” with that Sirius packed the stuff back away into the box and slid it under his bed “well it's a Saturday, so I'm going back to sleep, and I, hopefully, won't wake up until mid-day, have a good practice Prongs” the boy threw himself back down onto his bed, pulling the sheet over him. James and Peter shared a smile, unaware of how miserable their friend was.

Though Sirius wasn't the only miserable one, Y/n herself was also sulking. Though instead of inside the confines of her room she was sat on the top floor of the Astronomy tower, no one ever came to a place meant for stargazing during the day, so it meant she would be left alone. Well mostly, the only other person who would ever think to even come here during the day, let alone on the weekend, was Regulus. After all it was the place they met, it was always the place the both of them went to if they were upset about something. Reglus slowly moved towards the crying girl, gently placing his hand on her back as he sat down next to her “oh mon chéri, what's wrong?” His voice was soft and gentle, his hand rubbing up and down against her back to soothe the girl. “It's just Barty still won't talk to me, no matter how hard I try and it's all Sirius's fault” the small boy froze up, his face hardening at the thought of his brother hurting his friend “what did my brother do to him” Y/n sniffled and looked up at Regulus, her sad eyes full of tears “he said such horrible things to him, and so did his stupid half-blood friend Lupin” she wiped her eye before continuing “they called him all sorts of things, like a pathetic Ravenclaw, and a pathetic pureblood, they even had the audacity to call him Evans pet bird” she shook her head “and then Sirius had the brilliant idea to throw out those stupid flowers I got him, and I mean literally, he threw them out of a window I think” Regulus eyebrows furrowed, he was beyond angry, violent thoughts of yelling at his brother filled his mind. “And after that I gave him back that god awful ring, if he can't respect me or my friends, then I simply refuse to marry him”.

The boy's face instantly relaxed as his eyes shot down to Y/n's left hand, and sure enough, the ring was nowhere to be seen. Quickly his thoughts of him yelling at Sirius was replaced by thoughts of his mother, she'd be beyond furious if she found out he ruined the engagement. He was so incredibly angry at Sirius, how dare he hurt two of his best friend's who never did anything to him, how dare he hurt them so much they stopped hanging around each other, that they both stopped smiling as much, that they cried harder than he'd ever seen before. Regulus wanted Sirius to feel the pain his friends felt, and he knew just how to do so. “Don't worry, I'll make sure to take care of him for you alright, he won't hurt you again,I promise Y/n” the young girl leant into his arms, tears starting to pour down her face again.

[mash4077confessions]

For your last reblog, please do Mulcahy!!! I love your answers for him. You’re almost single handedly keeping Mulcahy girlies alive!

Thank you very much 😊

Alrighty, let's do the rest of these headcanon questions for Mulcahy!

3) Who depends on them? Everyone at 4077th, in someway shape or form, even if they don't really notice it. He would be prime for an "It's A Wonderful Life" kind of episode.

Back in Philadelphia...it's a very different story. Hell, one of the main reasons why he volunteered to go to Korea, was because he wanted to be useful and no one seemed to need him in Philadelphia.

4) What they would do if they had one month to live?

At first, I think Mulcahy would be very angry. He'd randomly lash out, he'd be hitting his punching bag. Then he'd get very solemn. He'd pray (a lot more than usual), and he'd drink heavily. Then Mulcahy would come out of that, and decide that his last days were better spent on others, instead of pitying himself.

He'd donate all his money, spend extra time with his friends and Kathy. He might even reach out to his brothers that he's long since stopped speaking to.

Mulcahy would give his all till the last moment of life, and still he'd ask quietly to himself, whether or not he'd really done enough.

5) A cherished personal belonging?

Well he has several things I can think of off the top of my head. The crucifix necklace he wears all the time, that was from Kathy. She gave it to him when he decided to join the church, and so it is very valuable to him.

He also has several photographs that he made a point to bring with him to Korea (one of his parents on their wedding day, as no one else seemed interested in having it, a picture of him and Kathy as toddlers, and then the one family portrait they had done when he was still a baby).

There is also his rather healthy library he took with him as well (Plato, War and Peace, The Completed Works of Shakespeare).

6) Something they lost, but would love to have back?

his hearing

His mother. She died just before his 18th birthday. I'm still deciding what actually killed her, but it definitely was caused in part to her having had so many children (7 total). It does things to your body.

If we're just talking about a general item, he has "lost" a couple of autographs from his favorite boxers (I say lost in quotations because what really happened was a nun found his autographed boxing magazines, including one signed by Artie Levine, and she threw them away because she didn't think it was appropriate for a priest to have so many images of shirtless men laying around. She claimed it was the boxing she took issue with, but we know what she was really thinking).

7) This character’s favorite character?

Hawkeye. It kinda goes without saying. Mulcahy is often in awe of him, and he finds him humorous (although a tad obnoxious at times), and he goes to him for help because he knows Hawkeye will be there when he needs him and won't judge him for reaching out.

Mulcahy is also great friends with Potter, though the man is much older than he is, they have a surprising amount in common (side note: is it just me or when William Christopher got old, he started looking more like Harry Morgan?)

Mulcahy also has very close friendships with both Klinger and Sidney.

8) What kind of car they would drive?

I don't think Mulcahy owns a car in his civilian life. Public transportation would have still been pretty common in 1950s Philadelphia and when he was in college at Loyola, that was in Chicago. No real big need to own a car when you're in a city center. That said, if he did have a vehicle, it would be old and second-hand. It would work but it wouldn't be fancy. Probably white or sand colored.

10) How they deal with pain?

Like physical pain? Dude can take a hit. When he was a featherweight boxer (his former life before Kathy got him to become a priest) he'd have concussions, couple broken ribs, black eyes, etc. Of course he gave as good as he got, and then some. But he has a pretty high pain tolerance.

(If you want to talk about that time that Margaret hit him and he acted like he was in pain, it's because she's a woman and he can't hit a woman, so he knew he'd have no way to physically defend himself if she really decided to let him have it. She's also REALLY strong.)

11) This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing?

Mulcahy isn't much into fashion. If it fits and doesn't have holes or stains on it, it's good enough for him. His priestly attire is more important to him than any civilian clothes he owns. That said, he is very fond of his Loyola hoodie (aren't we all?), that "G" baseball cap that Hawkeye bought him, and he does have one really nice lavender button down dress shirt (worn only on leave in Tokyo, which he seldom gets to do).

13) What kind of parent they would be?

The best kind. He would be soooooo loving and affectionate towards his children. He would spend so much time and energy engaging with them on their level. The kids at St. Teresa's Orphanage absolutely adore him, and he adores them right back. He's not great at discipline, though. That would be his partner's job, for sure. Not that he can't lay down the law, when needed, but he's afraid he's overdoing it and sounding like his father.

14) How they did in school?

Mulcahy was always very interested in learning and had no problem keeping up with the lessons. The trouble was that sometimes he just really wanted to read Plato or Aristotle or The Odyssey...and his teachers didn't appreciate him wanting to go off and do his own thing. He definitely got hit by at least one teacher at school fairly regularly for this.

Mulcahy always wanted to learn and discuss very broad topics, and his teachers didn't want to deal with that. Which was not great for him because they'd labeled him a troublemaker, and that got him the belt from his dad. Mulcahy always got on better with the girls in his class rather than the boys.

The boys were all like his brothers and his father; they wanted to rough house and when they got older, go skirt chasing. The girls liked him because he was sweet, and kind, and dorky. They felt safe with him. The boys also beat him mercilessly, until he was 12 and learned that it was OK to defend himself.

Many a time, he had his glasses broken, and once again, his dad would go right for the belt.

I think he was always on the outs in school, even in the seminary. I'm sure he had friends but he also had a lot of people looking at him as if he were just one giant question mark. No one really knowing what to make of him, and overlooking so many wonderful aspects of his being, because of that lack of understanding.

15) What cologne or perfume they would use?

I don't know if he really uses any. If Mulcahy does ever use cologne, it's going to be something cheap and earthy. He is a very cleanly person and he has really nice kinda fruity smelling soap and shampoo. Because he's around the church incense so often, it does stick to his robes. The incense has a nice cedar sort of smell to it.The point being in all this, is that he bathes regularly (probably the most often out of anyone in the main cast) and he does smell very nice.

17) What they’d sing at karaoke?

Something upbeat and fun. Maybe from a musical?

18) Special talents they have?

As previously stated, Mulcahy has a serious green thumb when it comes to his garden. He's also got one hell of a right hook for boxing. He plays piano (how well depends entirely on who you ask). Mulcahy has a pretty solid knack for gambling as a whole, but his odds do fair a lot better when making bets specifically on people...rather than cards. He can whistle pretty well too. Carries a nice tune when he sings (still better sounding with a partner).

Sometimes his most important talent is just getting people to agree to let things go with a small smile, and a tiny "please? 😇"

Mulcahy can also read Greek...though that's mostly just so he can read poetry in its original language.

Also did you see his sand castle in GFA? Dude has some mad skills to pull that one off without a mold.

Mulcahy is a mutitalented person. I didn't even name all his talents/skills.

20) Household chore they hate the most?

This is tough, because Mulcahy loves to clean. He loves dishes, and laundry, and finds dusting rather relaxing. Of course, this is all done as an act of service for someone else's benefit; the rest of the 4077th, those he shares the rectory with back home, his mother when he was a child, etc.

My best guess would be cooking. I think he can cook a fairly decent meal, but most of the time he's only ever cooked for himself and that immediately makes him disinterested in the task. He's just doing it because he has to eat. That's it.

21) Their fondest childhood memory?

Ok, not counting the Gentleman Joe memory because we already know all about that one. I'd say it's a memory of a time with his mother for sure. A time when the house was quiet, because his older brothers and Kathy were away at school, his father was working, and there with his head nestled in his mother's lap was baby Mulcahy, listening to her as she read to him, and stroked his head. It was a good place to be.

22) How they spend their money?

While in Korea most of his money goes to St. Teresa's Orphanage and a few creature comforts for himself.

Back at home he definitely still gives a lot to charity (he has his preferred organizations within the greater Philadelphia area). Of course he has to spend money on necessities such as food, toiletries, clothing items as they fall apart, etc. He gives gifts to his loved ones from time to time as well (birthdays and Christmas in particular, but sometimes just to cheer people up).

As for money he spends on himself just because; well he gambles and you gotta have money on hand for that, he sometimes splurges and treats himself to a good quality cigar or a higher quality beer. He's got some good leather dress shoes that he keeps well polished. Oh! And on theater tickets (both plays and the movies). He also occasionally hits the local art museums and will spend hours there looking at the paintings and statues.

(And as I write this, I know suddenly really want to take him to the MET, because he'd absolutely love it.)

23) What kind of alcohol they drink?

Beer and occasionally wine. His max alcohol percentage is 5%. Anything stronger than that and he will get plastered so quickly. Most of the time, when he drinks you'll notice him sort of nursing his beer, as opposed to chugging for the finish. He actually likes the taste of beer, and usually isn't trying to get drunk.

24) What they wish they could change about themselves?

Mulcahy wishes he was a better orator, the kind that really puts the butts in the pews and has them all feeling God's words deep in their hearts. For clarification on this, he isn't a terrible speaker, but his sermons are loaded with dad Father jokes and thinly valed stories of people he knows.

In general, Mulcahy just wants to be better. To do better. He's chasing the approval of others, because he doesn't really approve of himself. Self validation isn't his thing.

25) What other people wish they could change about them?

The people who know and love Mulcahy, wish he could see himself as they see him (goes for most of the fandom as well, I think). But at the same time, his humility is part of what makes him, him, so maybe they just wish he wouldn't beat himself up so much.

People who don't like him or at least don't particularly care about him (Frank, some higher ranking members of the military, couple church officials from his home parish, etc) they would want him to be a bit more "fire and brimstone", and to have a bit more military sense. They want him to be more traditional and fundamentalist in his views. And they'd also like him to stop with the Bible puns. But they don't matter, because they don't like him anyway.

I feel like I've missed some small but still very vital details, but that's the trouble with headcanons; I could go on and on.

[redfurrycat]

Hey! Have you made a master list of Ice being Jake’s dad? (I absolutely love, appreciate and frequently use your master lists)

Just as I’m writing the Ron is Jake’s dad au I’ve been trying to read all the Ice is Jake’s dad and I’m sure I’m missing some??

Hey Mac! 😊

This is slightly different than how I usually do rec lists. In this case, I searched through the Top Gun (Movies) fics tagged as Tom "Iceman" Kazansky & Jake "Hangman" Seresin and then proceeded with the collecting of all fics mentioning any paternal-filial bond between the two, regardless of the pairings.

Meaning I don't think I know most of them, but I hope you can find stuff to read nonetheless.

(I'll probably -absolutely- do a Hangster & Icepops-Hangson recs list though, at some point in the future! 😊)

I invite anyone to add fics fitting the request if you have more! 💖

Tumblr Posts

The Hangman's Guide to Winning Over Your Disapproving Admiral-In-Law – Part 1 – 2 – 3 (@amostexcellentblog)

Also see these:

nonbinary-jakeseresin post

weewoobrainrot post

whohasthecards post

AO3 Fics

(All have Jake as Ice's biological or adopted son, unless mentioned otherwise.)

See You Again by sleeping_maple {T}

Just when Hangman thinks that the day can't get any worse, he finds out that his father died. His father, Admiral Tom "Iceman" Kazansky. And he doesn't take it well. Luckily, Sarah Kazansky and Maverick are there to help.

Mini Man by SpringPetunia {T}

Hangman is Iceman's son. He never tells anyone anymore because of how they always react. But his dad is coming for a visit

Golden Boy by Earthangel_44 {E}

“Say it.” Jake says smiling. His face is so close to Bradley’s that Bradley has to duck his chin to look at him. “You’re a bird, Jake.” Bradley replies and Jake beams. “I already have the wings.” Jake says happily as he presses short quick kisses to Bradley’s lips. Bradley smiles and Jake kisses that too. “Now say you’re a bird.” Bradley laughs and he smiles until his eyes crinkle. “Well if you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” A Notebook AU because Glen Powell ships Hangster

Touch Starved by LeonDesdichard {M}

(Ice acting like a dad)

Jake shows up at Ice and Mav's house and he's completely out of it because he's sick and Maverick and Bradley are out of the house so it ends up being Ice who is the one that is taking care of Jake. Jake is completely out of it because he's feverish and he's really touch starved which has Ice angry for a ton of different reasons.

Military Amalgamate by rem_png {G}

(Icemav’s son)

Back in the 80s, the government wanted to make a new generation of super pilots. So, they turned to science and mixed the DNA of their best fighter pilots. None of the pilots knew about this project. Fast forward to 2020 and the truth comes out, rattling many families.

Take me home by Target_rich_environment {G}

Jake takes Bob home after the bird strike

IcePops and HangSon Series by UFOxMulder {T}{E}

Hangman snippets Series by Fantasy2739 {T}

Even worse idea! by LemonsAndSugarMakeLemonade {T}

(Ice acting like a dad)

“Bradley, Ice just texted me to come to “hang out”, is this a threat?” “Jake you’ve known him for almost five years now, it is definitely just Ice wanting you to do some work around the house.” “Okay but-” “Baby, this exact conversation happened last week, you know Ice is so different at home than he is at work.” “But is he?” “Jake, please,” “Okay yeah, I’ll go over.”

Midnight Hour Mixtape by Bubblegumchaos {T}

Hangman runs; he always been much too good at that sort of thing. Jake would give anything to find his father except his clues are half a dozen letters in a shoebox and his late mother's drunken rambles of a man who wasn't her husband.

I don't know how to change a tyre by blazingstar29 {G}

(Son-Fatherly Feels)

Jake gives his first father's day at 30.

Top Gun: Kazansky Twins by Tazlady691 {T}

A cannon divergence AU: The story of a pair of twins and their life up to 2023

The Mitchell-Kazanskys Series by WhisperingNights {T}{M}

Flowers for my grave by TheReadingWriter {T}

When a study on the genetics of Hanahaki disease brings forth the revelation that Jake "Hangman" Seresin is in fact Tom "Iceman" Kazansky's son, their lives take a dramatic turn, as they for the first time in their lives have someone to other than the ones who cursed them to live for. Their times are both running out, but they will be damned if they will let the other die without at least trying to save them. When the mission of a lifetime arrives, one thing is certain: It will either mean happiness for the rest of their lives, or certain death before the year has passed. How far will they go to protect the secret they know will kill them?

A Choice by Ren_Anders {_}

(Son-Fatherly Feels)

After everything, when everything is suppose to be smooth sailing, Jake gets a call. His dad has just died. But it doesn’t matter, right? He was an asshole and he refuses to give him his grief. OR Ice and Jake have a heart to heart about shitty dads and how to overcome their deaths

Family Ties by CryoCait {_}

Jake knows what policies there are in place to avoid familial conflict of interest, he's lived it for years. He knows how sacred those policies are to keeping his family sane. So logically it follows that he understands how dangerous this mission must be for the Navy to look aside and allow the entire Mitchell-Kazansky family to be a part of it. Now he just needed to make sure they all made it home in one piece. Or Jake is a Kazansky just as much as Bradley is a Mitchell, and Mav never pulled Bradley's papers. Now, the close-knit but under the radar family all must work together for the first time during the Uranium Plant mission and keep their relationships to each other under wraps while trying to make sure everyone survives this suicide mission.

Bikes and Bruises by WhisperingNights {M}

(Icemav’s son)

"You aren’t taking one of my bikes to the HR Drag Strip, Jacob, end of story,” Mav responded, crossing his arms over his chest. “I won’t be racing, it's just a show,” Jake protested. Mav snorted “Yeah, right.” “I won’t! The show starts at 9-” “How many times are you going to make me say no, son?” Mav asked.

Heartbeats & Bird Nests Series by SamHeartfilia {T}{E}

Two Men and a Baby by multifangirl11 {_}

(Mav’s son & Icemav)

Jake is Pete's son, Tom is a good friend who hopes to become more.

Keeping Dreams Alive, 1999 Hero's (I Ain't Worried Right Now) by Luxu1230 {_}

(Icemav’s son)

Jake "Hangman" Seresin is the biological son of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Tom "Iceman" Kazasky but was kidnapped not that long after being born all he has of them is a small f-14 Tomcat silver necklace which he keeps hidden. He knows his "parents" are his real "Parents" though they don't exactly know that but when he overhears a certain conversation between three people he starts suspecting of who his true parents maybe and from the sounds of it they definitely didn't abandon him.

Been searching for a(n Ice)man by crowstakeflight {G}

Jake did not really look like either of his parents. Sure, he could see some of his mom in his features when he looked in the mirror, but the majority of them are from someone he’s never seen before. It didn’t take much to bring the question up to his parents and they answered honestly. Or, Jake's biological father is Iceman and this is what happens after he finds out.

Living after midnight, loving 'til the morning, then I'm gone. by WaffleToaster {E}

Nobody thought their actions back in the winter of '85 and beyond would end up having these consequences. A story woven from past mistakes, indecisions and loss that eventually helped shape his world and upbringing. But despite all the hardships one thing was for certain, Jake Seresin was destined to fly and he knew the Navy was where he belonged. A slightly altered kind of retelling that includes Jake 'Hangman' Seresin being Tom 'Iceman' Kazansky’s lost son, a story about revelations, love, loss, friendship and most importantly family. Where two rivals find out they may not be so different from one another and their journey to understanding, unity, serenity and eventually love. First by hating, then by loving and finally understanding and helping one another find a place they both deserve. Just not in the same order.

A Kazansky Redemption by WhisperingNights {E}

This is a Kazansky love story. Can one win back the love of their life? Can the other find love in a storm of hate? **** “Sarah, that’s been over for 26 years, besides your my wife, remember? It wouldn’t be good to go tell a man I love him now would it?” Ice grinning playfully at her. She gave a small laugh that quickly turned into a cough, causing him to lean toward her in concern. “I’m alright, I’m alright, sit down,” she rasped, waving him off, then she looked at him “I love you Tom, but we both know our love was foraged in partnership nothing else. We did what was necessary for the safety of ourselves and your career. But it’s 2017, it's easier now. Sexuality rights are better, people are more open. I’ll never get to have a wife, but you Tom, you deserve to have a husband.” ***** Jake’s eyes landed on a figure in an awful Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. His irritation instantly grew, the universe really must hate him.

[weepingalaxy]

Hello I am asking for ool!Lalna lore 👀👀👀

hi its 4 am and im in a lot of pain so im writing this in a feverish state but i hope you understand how important it was for me to respond on the account of you activating my trap card (letting me infodump about my dnd character)

SO!! for a bit of preamble, he’s from a dnd campaign called Out Of Loop, dm’d by the fantastic @yogsbog !! its based on completely original lore while using a lot of yogs characters within it to populate the world while also being core parts of said lore. an example would be strife solutions tower being a prominent place within the city of evergrove, the “main hub” of sorts for the campaign. strife is even possibly our bbeg, which is fun

for a bit of context, the story so far is that we are all displaced in time through things called The Rifts, holes in spacetime that can lead to basically anywhere and anytime. the party is working together to close these Loops the rifts create, since as it stands, anyone and anythinh can come through these rifts and wreak havoc where they shouldnt. plus the rifts themselves are getting more and more unstable, so who knows whatd happen if they were left alone for too long?

my fellow players in the party in question are @strifesolution and @irished-lads !! the first, emma, playing her original character Scarlet Areleven, a parvill fankid oc whos the heart of the group and part of the reason the partys so kind to people they meet. the second, van/vanilla, plays Xaiden Lazulite, a mysterious elven man who is definitely not based on xephos no sir he is so very different. he’s more of a protector, and the other part of why their party is kind. or, for him at least, why the party Refuses to Kill Humanoids.

then there’s lalna! or, his real name, Layne Lockwood. that’s my character! he’s very complicated and kind of an emotional wreck of a bastard. and also the guy you asked about! so let me give you the rundown on the lore about him even my fellow players know :3

cw: child neglect and abuse, possession, dismembered limbs, gore, death

it’s a bit hard to know whee to start with him, but i guess i’ll go in chronological order with him! and ill do it in an easy to digest list as well

layne lockwood is the youngest child in a family of four, being thalion lockwood (father), clara lockwood (mother), and lomadia lockwood (older sister). thalion is a half elf, while the rest are all human. they lived in a smaller suburban town called East Maple

thalion found a rift inside their own home and begun to study it, with layne often coming into the office just to pretend to read along even from a young age. this turned out to be a mistake, as something came out of the rift and almost SLAMMED into layne, but disappeared out of sight as it did so. this shook up thalion so badly he figured the only safe way to continue his research and to find a cure for this strange new affliction layne has that keeps making him act wildly different, was to go through the rift himself, abandoning his family in hopes of one day coming back to fix everything

meanwhile clara, overworked, stressed, angry, and betrayed by her husband, was left alone with her children when she already didnt have the time for them. laynes strange behaviour was waved off as simply him causing problems, but after a terrifying encounter with the boy, ended with her locking him up in his room for good. he was only eight years old, and was taught from then on he’s something to be feared.

lomadia did what she could for layne, reading books about homeschooling kids and teaching him survival skills shes picked up on herself. he survived almost exclusively on the food she offered him and taught him to make himself (ususlly dried meats). shes all layne had during that time

well, not all.

layne heard a new voice in his head after that day, a voice of someone with no name other than one given on a whim: Livid. livid is a devil from the nine hells, the Something that left the rift, and the soul still possessing him to this day. when lomadia was busy, it was livid speaking to him or pulling at him to influence his actions towards violence. layne didnt understand, but they were his only friend.

when layne was 14, when his mother’s neglect was at its worst, he would finally give in to his friend’s suggestions. after endlessly working to break down the door keeping him locked up, he searched the house in a daze before reaching the kitchen, and grabbing a knife.

that evening was a blur, with layne only realizing what he’d done after the act. he saw his mother lying on the kitchen floor, having been dragged there by himself, with several stabwounds in her chest. layne doesnt think. he breaks a nearby window, and escapes into the forests that surround them, never to be seen again

an unknown amount of time is passed, a wild young blonde reaching a large abandoned office building in the outskirts of Evergrove. he decides to call it home, and with time and growing up needing to learn everything by hand, looting trash and stealing what wont be missed, he develops the office building into his lovingly called Tower. this is where he continues to live and develop until hes reached far past his mid 20s, though his exact age is unknown.

this is where he takes on the name of Lalna, a way for him to further disconnect from his past completely, and live on his own without anyone finding him. without anyone knowing hes still alive

alone

again.

… aside from his little brain buddy, of course. who, with time, has manifested more and more as a visual hallucination for him, too. a slender, staunch figure, as pale as lalna, with dusty blonde hair just like his, but with barbed chains and sunken eyes.

its also in the tower that he lost his right arm! he cut it off himself after livid toyed with him, made him see some form of black ink spilling from a long slit along the arm with an infection spreading in it. lalna panicked, and without thinking, removed it in a haze with a laser cutter he made himself. he then had to create a new one for himself, connecting with the help of magic, and giving him full control of his limb again

he still keeps that lopped off arm in a jar, just in case. and for emotional support

… and thats the last bit of what happened to him before the start of the campaign! that the party knows about, anyway. theres more but :3 secrets.. i hope this was an enjoyable read!!! lalna has been on the hunt for the rest of his family for a while, too, specifically his father as he genuinely believed he had killed lomadia too (but he didnt! shes still out there! hooray!) and he found him!! wow isnt that crazy! anyway yeah im insane over this guy is that at all clear yet

thank you for showing interest, im sorry for how melodramatic it is <3

[kdval]

Let's talk about a Plague Tale Requiem

So I'm currently working on some post for reddit, and I was analyzing the ending and post-credit chapter again, but since my thoughts don't match with topic, I'll leave it here.

Spoilers ahead obviously.

Even though the ending was heartbreaking, plot-wise it was really good ending. Well, the devs were quite honest with us from the very beginning. I mean, what we could expect from the game named REQUIEM. Like, obviously. Even the last trailer was straight. "His mind is... extinguished." Remember that line? I watched it million times, so yeah, I remember too well.

Anyway. There's one thing that leaved me quite upset, if not disappointed. And one thing that leaved me confused.

 1. Lucas.

We have this, let's say, leitmotif playing throughout the whole game: Lucas is our support. He's WITH us, whatever happens. We hear several lines, when Lucas says that Amicia is not alone. He's here for her.

Then there's little dialogue, when Amicia says that Lucas must choose side eventually. Well, there, on the boat, he chose Beatrice, ok. We later got Sophia as a mother figure for our siblings (especially for Amicia ofc). Arnaud... eh, imo he has too little "screen time", and he definitely didn't replace Lucas. Sure, who can replace our best boiii? But jokes aside: we have lost Lucas for several chapters. God knows how everything would turn out, if Lucas was there.

Like, think about. He is the calmest person in our team. I don't remember any moment (except for prison dialogue maybe), when Lucas lost control like Amicia throughout the game. Beatrice is angry at Amicia sometimes, she confronts her own daughter instead of helping her (man, Amicia is 15yo, right?), Amicia is desperate, traumatized, Hugo is frightened, frustrated... And Lucas is trying to put everything together.

But OK. He returns. In the very moment we need him - Lucas returns. And he keeps saying Amicia that she's not alone. Hugo inside Nebula says that Amicia is not alone. And then Lucas appears. Lucas is the one who goes with her there, who wakes her up, who hugs her, who gives her a hand... He even kills Hugo, if Amicia can't find the strength to do that.

But Lucas is not here, when we see post-credit chapter. If I understand the dialogue correctly, Sophia didn't live with Amicia either. Amicia lived there alone? Completely? Lucas just studies alchemy somewhere...

We were told the whole game, that we always have someone, who cares about us, who can support us, and then Amicia find herself alone in the mountains? So Asobo took even Lucas away from us? I don't get it. The way the plot led us this whole time... It doesn't make sense to me.

I don't think that the 16yo traumatized girl can handle it alone. It's not good idea. I experienced severe panic attacks myself (like Amicia had in 3rd chapter) – going through this without support is real hell.

Even though we have Sophia back – this ending is quite frustrating.

 2. Happy life plan.

It's confusing me. Now hear me out.

Amicia put Hugo through the real hell. They found the previous Carrier and Protector dead. They found out that they just need to stay together and live in peace to avoid that end... probably. But the thing is – we already saw them living in peace back then, in Chateau d'Ombrage. Hugo almost reached the threshold, but thanks to Lucas they delayed something really bad.

In Requiem magister Vaudin says there's no elixir to heal Hugo and the boy will die after reaching the last threshold.

So basically living a calm life in the mountains – is just the way to Hugo to die at peace eventually. Since they didn't find any cure.

But I still don't see it as an option. Hugo is hyperactive kid. Just an average kid actually. He loves to explore, to collect things, he loves fairs, people there. He can't live in the mountains like a hermit.

But there, outside that little house in the mountains, there's the thing we quite forgot about. It's the war.

It's Hundred Years' War. And whatever it brings with. Cause "bad people" Amicia talk about with Hugo – it's a consequence of the war too. Innocence was more focused on the war, while Requiem – on Macula itself (and little breaks like fair, sea travel, island, celebrations, all that).

I can recall just 3 things that remind us a bit about the war:

A) well, rats, no need to explain;

B) Arnaud – war veteran from Guyenne, and his people marauding everywhere;

C) the Count, also war veteran (and you can clearly see how war broke him in that "duel" scene with Amicia).

Other than that – we don't really think about the war, we have bigger problem to worry about.

So "living peacefully in the mountains" is really nice and sweet, but a bit naive. Hell, Amicia and Hugo ran into trouble even when they just played in the abandoned castle.

And since Macula feeds on Hugo's emotion, he needs something that can distract him. Like Amicia said to Sophia that she worked hard all these months, tried to exhaust herself. Hugo eventually will be upset he still has no friends (and Lucas is not much of a playmate, he studies all the time). So they still need to go outside, meet people, and you never know, when another beekeepers or something worse will show up, and the war is almost on the doorstep… you know what I mean.

Anyway, that's my thoughts. Feel free to beat the shit out of me, if I'm wrong.

[aajjks]

mwahahahaha 😈

mommy issues!JK

seol doesn’t know whether to be happy or confused to see you here so late. you’re dressed in pajamas with a familiar blanket draped across your lap and you seem to be comfortable. without thinking, he almost calls you ‘mommy’ until he remembers the truth. you aren’t his mother but it’s hard to get out of the habit of calling you something that he’s said so many times.

“Daddy I’m not going to school right? I don’t want to go to school- m-ms chaeyoung was very mean”

your heart breaks but you slowly feel yourself getting angry. because of chaeyoung, seol isn’t comfortable with coming to school anymore and he probably wasn’t looking forward to seeing you either. when jungkook looks at you, you’re unsure of what to say or do. there’s no point in acting as if you are his mother because the truth is that you’re not.

however, you’re still his teacher. you still care about him, you still love him, and you’ll always be there for him whenever he needs you.

“i’m sorry she was so mean to you, seol and i know you’re probably upset with me right now but i want you to know that no matter what happens, i’ll always still be there for you. i still care about you and guess what?”

“wh-what?”

“no matter what happens i’ll always love you”

you watch seol rub his eyes a little and you assume it’s because of how tired he is until you realize he’s actually wiping his tears. worriedly, you scoot closer to jungkook who is caressing seol’s hair to help soothe his tears.

“i l-love you too, ms. y-y/n” seol hiccups and you find yourself in tears along with the 5-year old.

you’ll never forgive chaeyoung or nara for breaking seol’s heart. you’ll make sure to hurt them just as bad as they hurt him.

it’s not just a threat, it’s a promise.

after jungkook wipes seol’s tears, he puts on seol’s favorite spider-man movie (no way home) and the three of you begin to watch it until he’s fast asleep in his father’s lap.

“m-ms. y/n?” seol sleepily calls out to you.

“yes?”

he yawns before continuing “c-can…w-will you stay the night, p-please?”

“i’ll stay but only if your father is okay with it”

~🫧

Whenever he sees you interact with his son, something inside him just snaps and he wants to keep you here forever just so his family will be complete.

Jungkook knows his son is suffering a lot, but maybe your presence will be able to soothe his wounds

“I am more than OK with you staying here and you know that..” he responds a little too quickly for his liking.

Actually, the thing is that he’s very lonely inside. It’s not easy being a single father, he has to earn, make sure that his child is well fed, he has to be the mother and the father-that is hard.

When Seol was born he thought that he would do just fine as a single father and he wasn’t looking for any lover or a mother for his child..

But he did forget that a Mother is the most important figure in a child’s life-maybe even more than the father.

And he is now realizing the void in his and specially seol’s life. He really has no one except for his daddy.

No grandfather, no grandmother.. no Uncle no auntie.

Seol is now fast asleep in jungkooks lap and you stare at him full of love, it’s so obvious that his son holds a special place in your heart and.. jungkook hopes that it will never change

Jungkook quickly excuses himself to go tuck Seol in his own bedroom. “Yes yn please stay the night.” Jungkook says, it’s been hours and you’re probably tired and he doesn’t really want you to go home.

This has been the most beautiful day- night in his life-, but you know he doesn’t want it to end just yet.

“Come… you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch.. or maybe I could go sleep with Seol? If you’re uncomfortable…” jungkook scratches the back of his head awkwardly

He’s kind of nervous because it’s been a while since he had a woman in his bedroom.

you are definitely thinking hard about this, he decides to give you time, then his phone starts to ring.

When He sees who’s calling, he gets pissed.

[taylincolnhq]

LOCATION: taylor's house (lima, ohio)

DATE: february 11th (the day taylor arrives in lima)

TRIGGERS: domestic abuse, physical abuse

task week #2 - new beginnings

The car comes to a slow stop and the woman in the driver's seat turns to the girl next to her. "We're here." She says softly. Looking out of the windscreen, she looks up at the house on their right and she smiles. "It's nice right?" She asks.

Taylor, her body slumped in her seat and arms folded over her chest, turns her head to look out the window. "Yeah. Sure." There's not a lot of enthusiasm.

Susan Lincoln's smile drops slightly. But she doesn't say anything more to her oldest daughter. Instead she turns to look to the backseat. "Lily. We're here." She reaches out to where her youngest daughter is curled up asleep and shakes her gently.

The twelve year old slowly opens her eyes and stretches her arms. "Are we there yet?"

Taylor lets out a laugh and turns to look at her sister. "Nah we just decided to carry on. Welcome to Paris. Look there's the Eiffel Tower." She points her hand towards their new house.

"Oh cool." With how excited she was Lily completely ignored the sarcasm. She undoes her seatbelt and bolted out of the car and up the path to the front door.

Susan unclips her seatbelt too and looks over at Taylor. "I know this isn't easy. But please try and be positive. If not for me, for your sister."

"I just don't get why we had to be the ones to leave." Taylor looks over to her mother. At the cut above her left eye and the ugly looking bruise on her chin and jaw. Luckily the finger marks on her neck had almost faded. "Why we had to uproot our entire life and move when we did nothing wrong."

Susan sighed. "We needed an easy way out and this was it. I'd already sorted out the job transfer and we got the house lined up pretty quick." Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel. "You know we needed to leave quickly."

Taylor's fists clench and she looks away.

"You've been so brave." Her mother starts but then there's a knock at her window.

"Mom come on, where's the keys?" Lily's head popped up in the window. "I wanna go in." She looked over at her sister. "We're supposed to be fighting over what room we're having, lets go."

Susan smiles weakly and nods. "I'm on my way." She takes one more look at Taylor before she gets out of the car and follows Lily to the house.

Taylor sits there for a moment, her brain overthinking. She didn't feel brave. Anxious, angry, frustrated, hopeful. And honestly? She was scared. What would happen now? New schools for her and her sister, finding a new normal and trying to fit in? She looked up into the rear view mirror at her black eye.

Was it really over?

~~~

After a busy day of unpacking and definitely arguments about bedrooms, Taylor and Susan sat at the kitchen table just after Lily had gone to bed.

"We need to get your story straight. You can't use the skateboard excuse for this one." Susan says in a hushed tone handing a drink to Taylor.

"We'll just say the same thing we told Lily, why change it?" Taylor shrugs. "I'm struggling with the divorce, I got into a fight at school and I got my ass handed to me." She hated lying, but by now she was an expert at it.

"Let's hope it doesn't get you much attention."

"I'm a new kid rocking up with a shiner, I'll definitely get attention." Taylor rolls her eyes. She sighs and stares down into her drink.

Her mother reached forward and squeezed her arm gently. "It's going to be okay. We can all do this, together."

Taylor nodded, trying not to let any tears fall as she swallowed hard. "I just want this to work for us. I need this to work for us."

"And it will do. But you need to stay strong okay?" Susan manages a smile. "It's over now. We're free."

"I hope so." Taylor replies, her voice shaking.

Her mother held her glass up. "To new beginnings."

Smiling softly, Taylor clicked her glass against her mother's. "To new beginnings."

[wikiangela]

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything)

tw suicide mention/attempt, 5x12 'Boston', angst

I wrote this over a year ago, a couple of days after "Boston" aired, while sitting in my creative writing class and I feel like I could write it better now but I didn't wanna mess with it haha Also, a huge thank you to @thebravebitch, you said it's good and it gave me enough validation and motivation to finally post it lmao 😂❤️

words: 612

[read on Ao3]

***

Tears were falling down her face as she sat on the beach, blankly looking at the ocean, waves crashing against the sand. She observed the angry water, thinking back to that day, to that still bathtub water, under which her daughter almost drowned. All because she couldn’t be trusted to care for a baby. It was all her fault. 

The mere reminder of that only assured her that the decision, which she’d already made when she dropped Jee-Yun off at the firehouse, was the right one.

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful.

She thought about her ex-husband, and all the times he made her wish she was dead. He wasn’t around anymore, but everything he said and did to her was still haunting her. As was the moment she killed him, his blood spilling over the snow. She’d been bleeding, too, beaten up and broken. But she freed herself from him. She just didn’t know he’d still be stuck with her after so much time passed. Maybe not enough. Maybe she’d never be truly free. 

In light of what happened recently, his words echoed in her head. She was worthless, hopeless, useless… At the moment she wished he had beaten her to death, it would be much better for everyone. She wasn’t capable of being a mother. She was capable of killing someone, though. And now she almost killed her own daughter. She should be the person protecting her from harm, not inflicting it. It might have been an accident, but such accidents were not supposed to happen. What mother can just fall asleep while giving their baby a bath? A bad one, for sure. So, Maddie needed to get away. Jee wasn’t safe with her. 

Water submerged her completely, taking away her breath. Is that what her child felt when she slipped under the water in the bathtub? Of course, she was fine, the doctor said she was fine, but for those few seconds… For those few seconds she was drowning. It was only fitting that Maddie went away that way. And her kid, her sweet, beautiful Jee-Yun, would finally be safe with her dad. 

That’s why she left Jee in the firehouse. Howie would get back from a call, get her home, and take good care of her. He was a good dad, and a good paramedic, if anything were to happen again, God forbid. He was going to hate Maddie. Jee was too little to remember her, but Howie… Howie was going to hate her.

Memories of her little brother, of Howie and Jee, of her ex, flashed behind her eyes, as the waves slowly carried her back to the shore, despite her best efforts to prevent that. 

Soon, she sat in the shallow water, coughing and crying, her wet clothes clinging to her skin. Maybe she should take it as a sign. Maybe dying wasn’t what she needed to do to keep her kid safe. Maybe she should just stay away. And get help. She definitely needed help. 

It was that moment, breaking down at the beach, after another failed suicide attempt, that she decided. She was going to leave LA, and go back to Boston, to the hospital she trained at to be a nurse, somewhere familiar. If she ever wanted to see her daughter again, she needed to get help and get better. For Jee, for Howie, for herself.

____

Tag list (if you want to be added pls interact with this post): @idealuk @thebravebitch @this-is-moony-lovegood @greenfairrryy

[linalilia]

[meet the prisoners!] prisoner 004: chiba naomi

hi, i physically cannot draw characters who are older than, like, 24-25 years old. they always end up looking too young 😭

anyway, meet the oldest prisoner oc i have! she's basically gonna be everyone's mom friend because someone needs to watch over these guys and take care of them and they won't do it themselves.

(prisoner 001's profile)

(prisoner 002's profile)

(prisoner 003's profile)

General info:

Name: Chiba Naomi (千葉 直美) ("Chiba" means "thousand" and "leaves" and "Naomi" means "direct" and "beautiful")

Age: 30 y/o

Gender: Female

Status: Prisoner 004

Birthday: December 26 (Capricorn)

Height: 178 cm

Blood type: A

Image color: #9DD1D1

Occupation: Elementary school teacher

Personality: Naomi is a very caring and understanding woman who is always here to help other prisoners and even the guards. She believes that she has to guide other prisoners and give them advice because she's the oldest one here and these guys really need someone to rely on. She also has a lot of experience because of her job, so she's good at dealing with the younger prisoners, even though she does look a bit anxious whenever she has to talk to the youngest criminal here who is only 11 years old. Maybe it's because she thinks that he doesn't belong here, so she has no idea what to do to help him? Or maybe her reason is completely different? But no matter how hard Naomi tries to stay strong and act as a reliable "mother figure", she often looks and sounds tired. Whenever her crime is mentioned, she starts visibly panicking, but she's able to calm down quickly. She's definitely one of those prisoners who actually regret committing their crime.

MV info:

Which canon Milgram song she would cover: Weakness. I actually wasn't sure which song I should give her at first but then I listened to Weakness again and for some reason I feel like the voice I imagine her to have would fit perfectly?? I JUST KNOW HER COVER WOULD SOUND SO GOOD. Also I accidentally made her pose almost just like Trial 1!Haruka and her MV/crime has similar themes, it would be weird for me to assign her any other song at this point, haha.

Which DECO*27 song she would cover: Liar Dance. It just sounds good in my head, okay?

If she could cover a song by a different Vocaloid producer, which one would it be: The Day I Was Away From School by Kikuo. It describes the events that happened before her crime really well :)

Her MV description:

Her MV starts with Naomi waving goodbye to her students who leave the classroom and smiling at them. The colors are warm and soft at first, but they become darker and colder when the music starts playing. The classroom is completely empty now, but for some reason Naomi still doesn't want to leave yet. She sees that it's raining outside and she looks a bit more annoyed now. She tries to close the curtains so that she doesn't have to see what's going on outside, but she still can see a lightning strike and she hears a very loud sound of thunder right after that. She gets scared and she almost falls on the floor, but she still can't leave the classroom. She also keeps looking at a particular empty desk, but she tries to distract herself from it. The lyrics mention that she can't go home yet even though it's dangerous for her to stay here.

It slowly starts to rain even more and when Naomi sees another lightning, she notices that the classroom is getting flooded and she finally decides to leave. But as she tries to leave the building, the water just keeps following her and the whole school is becoming more and more flooded. Naomi is finally outside and she gets in her car and she calms down for a moment until she realizes that even her car is becoming flooded. She starts to panic even more and the lyrics mention her getting really angry at someone and hating them so much that she wants them dead.

Another lightning strikes and Naomi opens her eyes to see that same classroom, but the colors are warm again this time and her students greet her and smile at her the same way she smiled at them in the beginning. She starts crying tears of joy and she feels like she's finally free, but then she looks around and realizes that everyone is way too happy. For some reason she doesn't like it and she looks at that empty desk again. She looks lost and confused and she doesn't understand why everyone is still so happy. She walks closer to the desk even though she doesn't want to and notices that something is written on it (but we can't see it that well). She tries to read it and after that she starts crying again, but not out of happiness this time. Her students get worried and try to comfort her, but she just keeps crying and looking at that desk.

Her Trailer 1 Voicelines:

"Ah, hello there. My name is Chiba Naomi. So you two are the guards of this prison.. Aren't you a bit too young for this? Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm sorry if that sounded rude. But.. are you sure you can handle a job like this?"

"CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR AT LEAST ONE SECOND? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS? WHAT DID I EVEN DO TO YOU, I ALWAYS TRIED MY BEST TO BE KIND TO YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU DID! SO WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH??"

Trivia.

She thinks she deserves to get voted guilty, however, unlike Shidou, she doesn't want to die, she just wants "someone to tell her that she's guilty". She refuses to explain what she means by that.

Her murder was her only crime and she had only one victim.

She wants to become friends with all the prisoners if possible, but she's not as obsessed with it as Aimi, she just wants to have a good relationship with them and that's all.

If Akio and Aimi's theme is "reputation", then Shun and Naomi's theme is "expectations". I want to talk about it more, but it would be a huge spoiler for Shun's crime and backstory.

[one-abuse-survivor]

im recovering, slowly but its happening, snd its weird. i feel my emotions a lot stronger now, its been around 6 months since i left my parents' house and some days are great, i feel stronger and way more confident than i ever did there, i have an amazing job and i just love life. but there are days where everything is just too much, like today. every part of me hurts on the inside and im just tired. its like my heart aches and my chest has an emotional pain inside of it. my grandad died 4 years ago almost, and i feel like im finally getting the chance to grieve him. every day i miss him more and more and i just want him back. it feels like he died yesterday. my nanan died just over a year ago and i feel like im just processing shes gone. im grieving my grandparents, my parents(who they used to be before they abused me), and my (practically nonexistent) childhood all at once and it just hurts inside. its a hurt that makes me feel alive but i just want it to stop and leave me alone. im hoping this is a normal/regular thing people like me go through, and im also hoping it gets better soon. i know it wont in the near future, i feel all the memories coming back some days and i can only process one or two at a time, and it sometimes frustrates me because i want to get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off, but i just cant, and it has to be done step by step. i just miss my grandparents. a lot. im crying a lot more lately too, just feeling my emotions so much stronger since ive started to truly process my trauma. do they stay this strong or settle down? im triggered pretty easily, which, in time, i hope stops happening so easily. i know recovery is a hard road but im thankful and very grateful that i got the chance to start it so early in life. im 19, moved out at 18, and its a bit hard, just so thankful i have a good therapist 😂 sometimes i just get so angry at everything and want to just hurt myself to make the pain stop, or just feel like i do today, slow and tired and achy. i get the rare amazingly happy day, and make sure i enjoy it, dw hahah but idk i just wanted to vent/say this in hopes of hearing that other people are going through this too, and that im not alone

Hey, nonnie. I'm so glad to hear you're away from your parents and recovering from the abuse and trauma you endured. That's amazing, I'm really happy for you ❤️

Yes, in my experience, it is normal to experience these sort of shifts inside you, especially during the first few years of recovery. I personally also went through phases where I would cry almost daily, phases where my emotions seemed out of control, or where I randomly felt immense grief/anger/sadness/disgust. And I can tell you that, in my case, with the help of time and therapy, the bad days, which used to be frequent and leave me exhausted, have become rare and much more manageable. Now, 5 years into recovery, I can have a bad trauma moment (hell, I can even run into my mother) and still enjoy the rest of my day. And my emotions have become much more stable, too. I rarely feel like I'm not in control of them.

Obviously, not everything is easy or perfect. I still live with PTSD, and there's plenty of things I still need to keep working on, like being vulnerable and trusting others, but... The good days have definitely become the norm over time, instead of the exception. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a proper emotional flashback or ugly-cried from how overwhelmed I felt (knocking on wood, haha).

So, yes, nonnie, it does get better with time. Recovery isn't linear—I'm sure you've heard that already—but it does get better. Though there may be ups and downs, and you might go through completely unexpected lows as you process all your emotions, the tendency will be to move upwards, and, if you're anything like me, one day you'll wake up and realise you can't even remember the last time you ugly-cried or felt like the world was ending. You'll just be living your life.

You're doing amazingly! There might still be bad days ahead of you, but there are countless good days to come, too.

I hope you can find ways to safely express your anger with the help of your therapist, and I hope you have the space and tools to process some of your grief and trauma memories as they resurface.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

Oh, and if anyone else wants to reassure anon that they're not alone, feel free to do so!