#but my dad decided to tell me things this afternoon that have changed everything

[immortalsins]

going from my irrational fear of my dad dying whilst he worked abroad when i was young -> to actually being scared he'll kill himself when i return to uni

[millyhelp]

How would Jason act if he found out you were pregnant?

Headcanon

warnings: angst! Sad shit with happy ending! anxiety and panic attack! Jason has very low self-esteem, so I warn you that he will depreciate himself a lot. mentions of sex. mentions of death. reader comforting Jason. English is not my first language, sorry for the grammar mistakes (if it have any)

•You had been acting strange for a few weeks now.

•You were eating more than usual.

•And feeling sicker than normal.

•Jason thought it was a virus.

•Then came the mood changes.

"Get out!" You shouted at him and threw a pillow at the man "You don't love me!"

"Doll, I just said I wouldn't make your pancake now because I need to go on patrol..." He said in a calm tone of voice

"It's the same thing!" you whined

•After a while, you were the one who noticed the changes.

•Your period had been late for a month.

•You were feeling hungrier than usual and wanting to eat strange things.

•You wanted to eat that strange mess that Starfire makes.

•Another month has passed.

•Your belly was a different size.

•After noticing this, you purchased 7 tests.

•Only one tested negative.

• Your luck is that Jason wasn't home, otherwise he would have heard your scream.

•What were you waiting for? You have a lot of sex, and babies comes from that.

•You were happy, but worried about Jason's reaction.

•You've been married for three years, you've talked about babies before.

•But you still worry, you know how Jason's mind works.

•You did your best to hide the tests and thought about how to tell Jason.

•He was away on a mission with Bruce and would only return at dawn.

•You decided to tell him in the morning.

•You would wake him up with a beautiful breakfast and tell him.

•As it was still afternoon, you had time to go shopping for a few things.

•You bought a small box with red baby shoes. You also went to the market and bought things to make Jason's favorite cake.

•Everything was perfect, or almost perfect.

•You hid things in the kitchen so you could make them for him in the morning, and went to sleep.

•When Jason arrived it was around three in the morning.

•He came in through the window and smiled when he saw you sleeping peacefully in the bed the two of you shared.

•He needed a shower urgently, so he went to take a shower.

•He took a warm, relaxing bath. When he was drying himself he looked around.

•The bathroom cabinet was not closed properly. It looked like there was something preventing it from closing.

•When Jason opened the closet to find out what was stopping it from closing, all the tests fell to the floor.

•Jason frowned and swore a fuck!

•He bent down and picked up the tests in his hand.

•Six positives and only one negative. Was that yours? It was obvious that it was.

•You don't know how to hide anything from him.

•Fuck, he's going to be a dad!

•Jason began to feel panicked. His breathing became unregulated.

•Still with the towel around his waist, Jason sat on the floor of the large bathroom.

•Suffocating.

•Suffocating.

•Suffocating.

•Jason gasped for air.

•Shit. Will he be a good father?

•He doesn't deserve this.

•He must be dead and not reproducing.

•He's just a stupid thing that should be dead.

•Jason tried to get up. His breathing was still uneven, he felt weak and ended up falling with a loud noise.

•You woke up with noise and looked around.

•"Jace? Are you home?" Your sleepy voice sounded loud, but Jason couldn't hear it, he was deep in his own panic.

•You got up and noticed the bathroom light on. Fuck! The tests!

•You quickly opened the bathroom door and found Jason on the floor struggling to breathe and with the seven tests on the floor next to him.

•"Jason!" You ran over to him and sat on his lap.

You placed both hands on his face.

"Jason, look at me!" His eyes looked into yours "Breathe... come on, breathe with me"

•Breathe, he had to breathe.

•"One..." you breathed in and so did he. "Two..." you breathed out and so did he.

"Three..." again you breathed in and so on until he could breathe.

Tears welled up in his eyes and Jason began to cry. It had been months since he had a crisis like this, the last time was when he was kidnapped by the three jokers.

"Jace... talk to me" You gently wiped his tears away. "You found the tests, didn't you?"

You looked to the side where the tests were on the floor.

"I..." Jason sobbed and tears fell "I'm going to be a dad?..."

"Yes, Jace..." you smiled lovingly "You're going to be a dad..."

"I don’t deserve." More tears fell and he closed his eyes shaking his head "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it."

"Hey. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh" You wiped his tears away again and he opened his eyes "Listen to me. You deserve it. Okay? You deserve it so much!"

Jason's blue eyes looked so deep now because of the tears and the heavy feeling in his chest.

"I should be dead, Yn..." He sobbed again "Not having kids..."

"But for some reason you're here with me, and I'm pregnant." You smiled at him, trying to reassure him.

"I love you, Jason. And this..." you took his hands and placed them on your stomach "It's one of the ways that love manifests itself."

Jason looked at where you placed his hands. He stroked yoour belly.

"Love. This is love." He spoke in a tearful voice and you nodded.

"I'm going to be a father..." He gave a weak smile "That explains your mood swings." He looked into her eyes "I love you so much. I feel like I'm not enough for you, will I be enough for our baby?"

"You are already enough. Always have been and always will be." You spoke with certainty and looked into Jason's eyes.

"You're going to be a great father." You smiled

"Do you really think?" He looked into your eyes looking for an answer

"I'm sure about that." You spoke and he kissed you.

•Jason has always been sensitive. But he's great with kids. So it will be great for your son or daughter (I dare say it will be a girl).

•"You weren't supposed to find out like that..." you giggled as your forehead was on his.

"You don't know how to hide things from me, I'm a detective trained with batman." Jason laughed and gave you a peck.

"Don't judge me." You pulled away and rolled your eyes, "I was going to tell you in the morning. I was going to make your favorite cake and make everything you like. I was going to prepare you, you know?"

"Well, I'll still take the cake." He said playfully.

"Silly. I'll do it tomorrow. But we need to go to sleep" You got up and he got up right behind you.

"Oh yeah?" He adjusted the towel around his waist again "We could practice making future babies..."

"Jason, this one isn't even born yet" You laughed and lay down on the bed

"So?" He shrugged "Practice makes perfect."

"Go to sleep, Mr. Todd." You opened your arms to him and he laid on your chest.

"Hmm... don't think I forgot about the cake you're going to make." He grumbled but soon fell asleep.

•He really didn't forget about the cake.

I CRIED SO MUCH WRITING THIS 😭🫡

Jason dad of a girl team!

[samaraannhan20]

Spencer Reid Imagine: You Have an Audience

A/N: I tried to make this timeline accurate, but after a while I realized it wasn’t and I didn’t want to change it, so just know that this does not necessarily fit the timeline of the show. In my head I was envisioning season 8 Spencer. 

“Hey hun?” I call out from the bathroom where I am standing in the bathroom getting ready for bed. Spencer is right out the door in the bedroom, and I hear him close his book and get up to come walk to where I am. When he reaches the doorway he stops.

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“I don’t have work on Friday. I could bring you lunch that day,” I tell him, turning to him as I put moisturizer on.  

“You want to risk your dad finding out if you come in?” he asks, with concern written on his face.

“I swear he said something about not being at work the other day,” I say, pausing and grabbing my tooth brush while thinking back on my conversations with my dad the last few days. He kisses the top of my head and then goes back to the bed to lay down and read his book. As I stand there scrubbing my teeth I realize what he had said. 

“Mhe faid bhe las la pate hat ay!” I exclaim, rushing into the bedroom with my toothbrush hanging from my mouth. Spencer drops his book and laughs as he looks at me standing there looking like a madman. 

“What?” he asks when he stops laughing. I hold my finger up and walk into the bathroom, rinse my mouth out, shut off the light, and go lay down in the bed. I curl up next to Spencer before repeating my sentence. 

“He said he has a date with Krystall that day at lunch, so he shouldn’t be in the office when I bring you lunch. But I can call Penny tomorrow to double check,” I say, before closing his book and taking it from him, tossing it onto my night stand. “Let’s go to bed though. I have a full day tomorrow, after having parent-teacher conferences at the beginning of the week.”

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I shove a bite of leftovers in my mouth as I pick up the phone and call Penny

“Hey Pen!” I say as Penny picks up the call. 

“Hey little Rossi! What’s up?” 

“Do you know if my dad is going to be at the BAU during lunch tomorrow? I was wanting to bring Spence lunch because I don’t have school, but I want to make sure my dad won’t be there.”

“Y/N! You guys still haven’t told him?” she questions. 

“No. We decided the other day that we were going to tell him after our six months next week. We never doubted that we would stay together, but we wanted to be able to show it was serious before we told him. Because if we had just gotten together when we told him… well,.”

“He’d lose his cool and make you break up. Right,” she replies with a small chuckle. 

“Yeah. So, he told me he would be on a date at lunch tomorrow, but before I commit to bringing Spence lunch I want to make sure he will actually be gone. And not only do you know everything, but I know he has to fill out a thing saying he’s going to be out. Which I still think is weird since it’s just lunch, but I guess it makes sense if there’s a chance he won’t be back before his lunch break is over.”

“Y/N you just rambled so hard. Let me look real quick sweet pea,” she says, and I hear her start typing away. “Yep,” she says after a second. “Looks like he will be gone for lunch tomorrow. You should be good to go.”

“Awesome, thanks Pen! Do you want a dessert or anything when I come in?” 

“You know I do. Just bring me something from wherever you wind up getting takeout. I’m not picky about my desserts,” she says with a small laugh. 

“Great. Thanks again Penny! I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Okay! I’ll send an email downstairs warning them that you are coming. Bye!” she responds, and I say thanks and bye and then hang up the phone. 

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“I overheard your dad asking Penny why you were coming in at lunch tomorrow,” Spencer says to me as we sit at my kitchen table eating dinner later that night. 

“Oh crap,” I say around my bite of crab rangoon. “What did she say?” I respond after finishing chewing. 

“She said you were bringing her lunch and hanging out for a bit. At which point he told her to keep you there until he got back from lunch with Krystall because he hasn’t seen you in a few weeks,” he says, shooting me a look that says more than his words did.

“I know. It is bad for me to not see him for so long, but I knew that if I saw him in person he would ask me why I seem so happy and I would immediately spill about our entire relationship because I have no backbone,” I tell him, standing up and taking my half full plate over to the counter and grabbing the saran wrap , wrapping my leftovers up. 

“You’re done already?” he asks from where I left him at the table, and I don’t say anything, just nodding and then walking over to the couch and sitting down, grabbing my kindle and turning it on. I sit there silently, not even reading, just staring off into space with tears slowly falling down my face. 

I hear Spencer stand up and push his chair in a few minutes later, and then I hear him walk over to me. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of my head. He walks around the couch, setting something down on the side table before lifting my feet up and resting them on his lap as he sits down. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, taking my kindle out of my hands and setting it next to whatever he had placed on the table, and then pulling me even closer to him by my legs. 

“I feel so guilty for keeping so many secrets from him. I mean he didn’t even really know my half sister, and yet they’ve formed a relationship like ours is. Or I guess used to be. When I was a kid and my mom decided she didn’t want me around anymore and sent me to live with him we built such a great relationship. And throughout high school it stayed great. And then I moved out for college and we spent less time together, and he got back together with Krystall, and I had moments where I felt her daughter and Joy were replacing me. 

“Which I told him about and we fixed it and things were great again. I graduated, got a teaching job nearby, and we were great. I would spend so many nights having dinner with him, or with him and Krystall. I would go with him to visit Joy. He knew everything there was to know about me, I told him everything,” I say, wiping a tear off my face as I finish my speech. 

“And then you got together with me,” Spencer says quietly. I nod, allowing another tear to fall down my face, wiping it off and then I reach out and grab Spencer’s hand.

“I don’t want you to think I regret you. Because that is the last thing I am thinking or feeling. However, I am having extended amounts of anxiety about him finding out before we tell him. I don’t think that he won’t approve, because he knows how amazing you are, you’ve been friends for so long. He sees you as a son already, and not just because you’re with his kid and probably going to be family one day,” I say, the last sentence slipping out of my mouth so easily. I knew the comment wouldn’t bother Spencer, because even though we have only been together for a little less than six months we have had the conversation already, and we both feel that we are it for each other. “But the reality we have to think about is the fact that we do have a sizable age difference, which he is not going to just let go. And he’s not going to be happy we kept it a secret for three months. And he probably won’t be happy about…” and before I can finish the last sentence Spencer cuts me off. 

“Okay listen. First of all, in the long run, I’m only eight years older than you. Which isn’t bad. It just seems longer because I graduated from everything so early. And because when we met I was working with your dad and you were still in college. Yes, I’m 32 to your 24, but you have more dating experience than I do, because you went to college in your late teens and early twenties, not when you were 12. And as for the keeping it a secret for three months, I think over time he will understand why we did that. I mean he kept getting back together with Krystall from you for a good amount of time. How long was it again?”

“Like almost a year,” I say with a small laugh. 

“Exactly my point. He’ll get over it,” he says, and takes my hand, pressing a small kiss to the top of it. “Now, if you’re done freaking out, I brought your food over for you. I know you weren’t actually done, that you were just anxious,” he says, reaching over to the side table, grabbing the plate and handing it to me. As I take the plate from him I lean forward pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“I love you. And I appreciate you so much. I wouldn’t want anyone else to know me so well,” I tell him, before pulling away and immediately popping a bite of food into my mouth.

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“Y/N, I didn’t realize you were coming in for lunch today,” Aaron says as I carry the to-go bag full of food over to the kitchenette in the BAU. 

“Yeah, I had the day off,” I say with a small smile as I put things down. 

“Well, I’m assuming it’s for Penny, since your dad is out for lunch with Krystall today,” he says with a knowing smile on his face. 

“Oh man. You know everything don’t you,” I say with a groan, sitting down at the table in the small kitchen area. 

“Yeah. Turns out I am pretty good at my job,” he responds with a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell your dad anything until you and Spencer decide to. Also, I know my opinion isn’t really the one that matters, but I think you and Spencer are a good match,” he says, patting my shoulder before walking away. I put my face in my hands and groan, before getting up and walking over to Spencer’s desk. I sit down in his chair and spin around in it, glancing around the rest of the room. Before too long I hear voices begin to drift into the room. 

“Wow it smells good in here,” I hear Derek say as he walks in the room. He spots me before Spencer does, and I watch as a mischievous smile comes over his face. “Hey baby, come to bring me lunch?” he says, walking over to me and picking me up from Spencer’s chair, spinning me around before setting me on the floor and placing a loud kiss on my cheek. 

“In your dreams Morgan,” I say with a laugh, walking around him to Spencer. I fling myself at him as soon as I get close enough. “Hey babe,” I say, stretching my face up to his for a quick kiss. He mumbles a hello, and I unwrap myself from him and take his hand, dragging him over to the table. “I got Italian. I was craving some chicken alfredo,” I tell him as I sit down next to him and start pulling the food out of the bag. He chuckles and helps me unload the bag, before sitting down next to me. 

We sit and eat our food together, making small talk, and talking to his coworkers everytime they come up to the table we’re sitting at. 

“Hey teacher lady,” Penny says to me as she sits down next to me with her lunch in her hands. 

“Hey Pen,” I say, leaning over and giving her a hug. “So you told my dad I was bringing you lunch?” I ask with a small smile.

“It seemed like the best answer. Unless you wanted me to out your relationship,” she says with a shrug and a sly smile. 

“Thanks Pen. Always thinking on the fly.” She shrugs again and digs into her lunch. I hand her the dessert I got her and she thanks me with a small smile.  “Did he tell you when he would be back?” I ask her after a minute or two of the three of us eating in silence. 

“No. Sometimes it's a longer lunch and sometimes it’s shorter. Depends on when Krystall has plans next.” I nod in understanding, and then turn my attention to Spencer. 

“Do we have plans for dinner tonight?” 

“Not any specific ones. It’s Friday though so I thought I could order some type of take-out for us and we could watch a movie,” he says and I nod.

“Ooh can we rent that new rom-com? I know they aren’t your favorite but I’m in the mood for one. We can watch that and then a foreign film for you,” I say, hoping the foreign film will get him to say yes. 

“We don’t also have to watch a foreign film,” he says with a small laugh and shake of his head. “We can watch that new movie. I don’t have a problem with it,” he says, leaning over and kissing the top of my head. I look up at him and smile, before pulling him closer and placing a kiss on his lips.

“Aww, you guys sicken me,” Penny says in a baby voice, and I laugh, flipping her the bird and then kissing Spencer again. “Um, Y/N,” she says when I pull away from Spencer again, and I turn and look at her, not even registering the nervousness on her face.  

“What Penny?” I ask with a small smile on my face, my smile growing bigger when Spencer pulls my chair closer to his and wraps his arm around me. “You have an audience,” she says in a whisper, pointing behind us. I sit up straight and glance at Spencer, grabbing his hand in mine, before hearing the tell-tale clearing of my father’s throat. 

“I am not turning around,” I whisper, my hands starting to shake as I realize who exactly is standing in the doorway of the BAU. “He can’t do anything if I don’t even turn and look at him,” I say even quieter than before. Spencer squeezes my hand, looking down at his food, and Penny’s eyes keep darting from him to me and then back again, with a dart of her eyes to my dad every few seconds. We sit there in awkward silence, me refusing to move, for what feels like a century. 

“There’s no case today, and my paperwork is all done. We could do this stand off all day long,” I hear from my father after probably a minute has passed. “Or, you could stand up and walk with me to my office.” I flinch, looking over at Spencer, and then at Penny. Penny scrambles to gather her food, and walks with her head down past my father, mumbling a small good luck to me as she leaves. Spencer squeezes my hand, and I nod my head in defeat, standing up. Spencer stands up with me, pulling me into a hug.

“Nothing he says matters,” he whispers to me as we hug. “I love you and you love me and that is what matters. Nothing else,” he says, and then places a kiss on the top of my head and lets me go. I nod again, and then turn my body and stiffly begin to walk to my father’s office. I hear him begin to follow me, but not before I hear what he says to Spencer.

“You’re next. My office in twenty minutes,” he says, and I can’t even bring myself to look over my shoulder at Spencer, instead choosing to continue walking to my father’s office. 

As I enter my father’s office I immediately sink into the couch he has sitting on one wall, covering my face with my hands. It isn’t long before he walks in, and I hear him turn one of the chairs sitting at his desk to look at me. He sits down silently, not saying a word for at least two minutes. After what feels like a century of sitting in silence, he finally speaks up. 

“I’m not mad. I know you think I am, but I’m not,” he says, and I let my hands drop from my face, looking at him. 

“What?” I ask, shock evident in my voice. 

“I mean I was mad a month ago when I figured it out, but I’m not mad anymore,” he says, a small smile coming across his face. 

“A month?” I whisper, confusion written across my face as I try to figure out how he knew a month ago.

“You aren’t as sneaky as you think. A little over a month ago I drove over to your apartment because it had been awhile since we spent any time together, so I wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner together. When I pulled up to your building, I saw Spencer’s car outside. At first I thought it was a coincidence, that maybe he was seeing someone else in your building, so I parked and headed in. Your doorman let me in because he knew I was your dad,” he said, and I immediately remembered which night he was talking about, because Mark had told me he had sent my dad up, but because I never heard him knock I chalked it up to Mark getting mixed up over which tenant’s dad went up.

“So I went up to your apartment. When I got there, I knocked, but I guess you didn’t hear me. I stood in the hallway and waited, but I could hear you talking to someone. Being the profiler that I am, I leaned on your door and listened to the voices, trying to make sure you weren’t in trouble, because you hadn’t told me you were dating any one person, or even that you were going on dates. And then I heard him,” he says, and I immediately remember what he had heard. 

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Flashback:

“What are you going to tell your dad when you’re out of town next weekend?” Spencer asked me as I stood in the kitchen chopping vegetables. I pause my cutting, thinking I heard a knock at the door, but then determine it was just my knife hitting the cutting board and start up again.  

“That I’m going on a trip with a few of my fellow teachers at work. But I also will only have to tell him if you guys don’t get called on a case. If you do it won’t matter because I won’t be going anywhere,” I tell him with a shrug. 

“I mean you could still go,” Spencer says, and I stop what I’m doing to turn and look at him. 

“For one, I’m not going on a couples trip to a spa without you. And for two, you’re a profiler. You should know how dangerous it is for women to travel on their own,” I tell him, crossing over to him. 

“I know, but I still think you deserve a weekend away. I know the stress of not telling your dad has been weighing on you. You need a weekend at a spa.”

“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be fun without the man I love,” I say, and stretch up to place a kiss on his lips. 

“I love you,” he says in response, and then pulls me in again. When we pull away again he smirks at me. “How hungry are you?” he asks, and I laugh and take his hand, dragging him into my bedroom. Neither of us noticed the shadow of feet under the door as we walked by it. 

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“You heard us talking about the spa trip,” I whisper looking at the ceiling as I calculate just how much he may have heard. 

“Yeah. I finally decided it was time to stop eavesdropping when I heard you walk towards your room. I went down to the lobby, waved bye to your doorman, and left. I was pretty angry so I didn’t text you or call you to let you know I had been by. I went home, and told Krystall everything that I had heard. I wanted to get right back in my car and go over to your apartment and yell at you, but she talked me out of it. She reminded me that you would tell me when you were ready. I expected it to be within the next week, but then you still didn’t, and before I knew it it was past the time where it would be acceptable for me to bring up the fact that I knew. So I decided to wait until you were ready to let me know,” he says, and the way he sits back after he finishes shows me that he’s done. 

“We were going to tell you next week. Next week is our six month anniversary, and we were waiting to tell you until after that,” I say, looking at him to see his reaction to knowing just how long we had been hiding this from him. He doesn’t show much of one, so I continue. “I wanted to be able to prove that we were serious about each other before I told you. I knew you would wind up thinking it was just a fling and it would change your work relationship with him if you knew before it had been a while.” 

“Honey, from the moment I realized something had changed about you, I knew whatever it was was either a forever kind of thing or something that was going to put you in the hospital if it ended. I never would have thought it was just a fling between the two of you,” he says, standing up and coming to sit next to me on the couch. I scoot over and wrap my arms around him. 

“I just didn’t want you to be disappointed,” I tell him, tears welling up in my eyes as he wraps his arms around me. 

“I never would be,” he whispers, placing a kiss on my forehead.  We sit together in silence for a few minutes, before a knock comes from the door, and the door pushes open less than ten seconds later. 

“Sir, I love your daughter,” Spencer says as he steps foot in the room and closes the door behind him, not looking at the two of us as he does so. I laugh a watery laugh, and my dad kisses me on the forehead once more before pulling back and standing up. 

“I know you do,” he says as he walks over to where Spencer is standing. Spencer looks at him confused, and then looks at me and sees the tears falling down my face. He moves to walk over to me, but I hold my hand up and motion towards my dad. 

“Rossi, I don’t know what she has told you so far, but I want you to know that I love her more than anything, and I plan to one day marry her,” Spencer says, looking at my dad. My dad chuckles at Spencer and holds out his hand.

“Welcome to the family then Reid.”

[collapsedglasshouses]

Hi! You're so cute 😍 I'd like to request a noah x pregnant reader! I'll leave all the details to you!

A/N: AAAAAAH! Sooo first of all... Thank you for calling me cute! I blushed a little ngl... But thank you even more for requesting! (you are my first request ever lmao) Please keep in mind, I am a childless woman and I would like to keep it that way, so I'm not that into pregnancy and baby stuff, BUT I wanna try different things! I did my best and I hope you like it!

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x pregnant!reader

Warnings: pregnancy, angst, fwb, mentions of sexual intercourse, let me know if i missed something

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

You first met Noah about four years ago. You were at a bar with your friends in Los Angeles and the guys just happen to stop there after a show they played.

You had no idea who they were but Noah caught your attention since you definitely had a type for tall guys with tattoos and long hair.

To your surprise, he was pretty shy at first, but it didn't take long (about one and a half beers and a lot of small talk) for you two to seemingly ripping of each others clothes, just with your eyes.

Let's just say the night was pretty eventful.

That night, when you reached your apartment together, not giving each other a second without touching each other, you were sure, when you woke up the next day, he would be gone for good and you would never see him again, but you couldn't have been more wrong. When you opened your eyes, his arm was wrapped around your waist tightly and you felt his breath on your neck.

You found yourself smiling at it a little. Honestly, you were kind of glad he hadn't left. You had had a good time at the bar and to top it off, the sex was also incredibly good.

When he woke up, you two were a bit awkward at first, both not being used to one night stands still being there when waking up, but quickly adjusted to each other's presence. The morning was filled with a lot of laughter and stolen kisses or touches but soon, he needed to go.

You had decided to exchange contacts and he said goodbye by giving you one last kiss, before leaving you absolutely shook about your experience.

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

You stayed in touch. You two quickly agreed that you weren’t really ready for a committed relationship, so you decided to just be friends.

As it always is with people who feel extreme tension to each other, this wasn’t the case for long…

Before Covid even really hit, you two were over each other every second possible.

Random hook up, when you came over? Yes.

Make out session in the kitchen? Why not.

Horny shower sex? Definitely.

Quickly you two found yourselves at a point again, where you needed to talk about where this was going.

You still agreed you weren’t ready to commit to a relationship and officially became friends with benefits.

This was going fine for years. It was going so well in fact that it even seemed scary for the two of you. You talked honestly with each other when you needed to and even more important, first and foremost you became the bestest of friends other the years.

But everything changed one eventful afternoon when you realised your period was late…

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

Your hands were sweaty when you walked down this specific isle at your local grocery store.

You only needed that one thing but you were so nervous, you also grabbed your favourite candy and randomly some frozen broccoli to 'hide' your next item.

Your fingers shook as they grabbed the box off the shelf and dropped it in your cart. The fact that you even needed to buy a pregnancy test made you feel dizzy.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. You didn’t even know what to do, if this would come out positive. How the fuck should you tell Noah, he is going to be a dad, when the next tour would start in less than a week?

It would affect both of your careers. You weren’t ready for children at the moment. Hell, you weren’t even ready for a real relationship or else you wouldn’t have been fucking around with your best friend for years at this point.

You took a deep breath before you started walking again. You were only a few days late. Maybe five or so. There was no total guarantee, you were pregnant. The test was just a precaution. You needed to know.

When you came home you were relieved to see that Noah wouldn’t arrive at your place for at least another hour, as you planned over text.

You made your way to your bathroom, getting even more nervous than you already were. You followed the instructions on the package and than…

… You nearly lost your mind. You didn't even need to set the fucking timer. By the time you finished washing your hands, that undeniable pink line had formed in the little result window.

"Fuck no…", you muttered under your breath and supported yourself on the bathroom counter, while tears started to form in your eyes. "There is no way…"

There literally shouldn’t have been such a high chance you were pregnant. The two of you never slept with each other without a condom and you didn’t realise any accidents.

You tried to contain yourself while staring at the second line for several minutes. Every ones in a while you closed your eyes, in the hopes when you open them again, the line disappeared again. But you weren’t lucky.

So you tried your utter best to stop crying before you put the test back into the package and stored it in your bathroom drawer.

You stepped into your kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, just to drink in all at once.

Your mind was racing. You didn’t know what to do. Noah was going to arrive any moment and you were a total wrack, always on the verge of tears and very much pregnant with his child.

When you heard your bell ring, you thought like you were going to throw up. On your way to the door you dared a look in the mirror and almost cried again. You looked awful. Your eyes were puffy. Your cheeks were a deep shade of pink. Your nose was runny and you definitely couldn’t just ignore Noah.

So you crept to the door and opened it to reveal Noah’s smiling face. When he saw you standing there like you would almost collapse, his face dropped and he quickly closed the door and took your face into his hands.

"What’s going on? Are you okay? What happened?" He instantly wanted to know, checking you out for any physical evidence of your state.

Your heart raced and you started to panic, so you quickly said: "I don’t know… I think I'm getting sick."

Noah stopped in his tracks and looked at your face again, dropping his hands and raising an eyebrow. You instantly knew he didn’t believe you.

He eyed you closely, before you felt the tears stream down your face again.

Quickly he lead you to your couch and sat next to you. He immediately put his arms around you, what made you cry even more. You wrapped your arms around his neck and slid even closer to him, in fear it would be the last time you had him this near to you.

"Y/N, tell me what’s going on." He softly spoke when you calmed down a bit again.

You looked into his dark eyes and almost immediately the tears rolled down your face again.

"I can’t tell you, Noah." You cried out with a raspy voice and you felt like you were loosing your mind.

"Why can’t you tell me?" Noah wanted to know, wiping away your tears with this fingers.

"It'll change anything. You will hate me." You answered and tried to calm yourself down, only resulting in becoming more frantic.

"Are you seeing someone?" Noah than asked and took you by surprise.

"What?" - "You're seeing someone, right? And you want to end this." You immediately realised, he became much colder, even though he tried not to.

"I'm not." You answered him surprised. "If haven’t been sleeping with anyone else but you for at least a year."

You didn't even have to justify yourself, you two had discussed that you would only have to tell the other about other partners if you hadn't used protection.

Noah went quiet like he's been caught in something.

"Are you… seeing someone?" You wanted to know and Noah immediately shook his head. "I'm more than satisfied with you. I don’t need anyone else."

With that you felt your cheeks warm. It wasn’t the first time he had said something like that. You had a feeling your relationship had changed over the past few months. You became even closer.

With closer you meant, him hugging you longer when you greeted each other, him touching your hand more frequently, him touching your face when he sees you're deep in your thoughts and last but not least, he started to kiss you during sex.

That had been an unspoken rule between you after your first one night stand. No kisses. But somehow you both seemed to break the rule over and over.

You felt like you calmed down enough to finally speak up. You needed to tell him. You couldn’t just pretend like you weren’t pregnant and than disappear as soon as it showed (not to say you hadn’t thought about it, in your panic moments).

"We are there for each other, right?" You wanted to make sure and grabbed his hand. Confused he lifted his eyebrows for a short second before nodding.

"Promise me, you won’t leave me." You than said and looked him deep in the eyes. You ignored the warmth that formed in you stomach, when you saw his eyes flicker to your lips for a brief second.

He swallowed hard before he answered: "Jesus, did you kill someone?" - "PROMISE ME." - "YEAH YEAH, I PROMISE… Hell, Y/N, your making me nervous."

With that you took a deep breath and got up, not letting go of his hand and leading him into your bathroom. When you came to stand before your bathroom drawer, you let go of his hand and stared at it.

"Is the murder weapon in there?" Noah joked but ended up with your elbow in his stomach. "This is serious, Noah."

In defence he lifted his arms and looked at you uplifting. You took another deep breath before you opened the drawer and pulled out the package. When you opened it, you felt how shaky your hands were.

You couldn’t even look at Noah, when you pulled out the positive test and handed it to him.

Than there was silence. Cruel and long silence. In fact it was quiet for so long that you thought he had just died on the spot while staring at the two lines.

"What is this?" He asked. "What's what?"

He lifted the test and you could see, he was also close to tears.

"That is a pregnancy test." - "Is it yours?"

You slightly nodded and your vision started to blur again. You did your utter best to keep yourself from crying but seeing Noah like that made you feel dizzy again. He would leave.

"How accurate are these things?" He than wanted to know.

"The second line immediately showed up. I wasn’t even done washing my hands and it already showed." - "Maybe it’s broken." - "I'm late, Noah. Should have gotten my period half a week ago."

Noah looked at the test again, before taking a breath and running his hand over his face in shook.

"Maybe we should take another one before jumping onto conclusions." He suggested. You blinked at him a couple of times before asking: "You're not mad?"

"Why should I? It takes two people to get someone pregnant and since you told me I am the only option, it’s my responsibility to be there for you. No matter how you'll proceed." He answered you honestly.

"Is it over?" You than wanted to know. "What?" - "This." You pointed your hands back and forth between the two of you.

Noah took a deep breath. "No. I won’t leave you."

You couldn’t hold yourself anymore. You knew you had a rule but you were so overwhelmed with the things that happened in the last couple of hours that you couldn’t resist but wrap your arms around him and kiss him.

Surprised he quickly lay down the test and grabbed the bathroom counter for support. At first you thought he would back away but than his hands landed on your hips and before you knew, he had pressed you against the counter and was literally devouring you.

It felt like this was the first real kiss between you two. It felt like you were starting to levitate while your tongues thought for dominance even though you definitely knew this was a lost game for you.

Soon the kiss slowed down and he wrapped his arms around you, while you pulled yourself even closer to him.

When you broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against yours while you to tried to regain your breaths.

Neither of you dared to open their eyes. Neither of you wanted to let this moment go. A moment of unspoken feelings, where it was more than clear what you felt for each other.

"We'll go through this together."

⨯ . ��� ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹

Not even three days later, you found yourselves at your doctor's appointment. Even though the next tour would start soon, Noah had tried to not leave you alone for as long as he could.

So when you set there and the doctor came in with a smile on his face, you nearly crushed Noah's hand.

"Congratulations, you are pregnant." So know there was no doubt anymore. "Do we want to discuss options?"

The doctor and Noah looked at you expectantly. You closed your eyes for a second and thought to yourself. Were you ready for it? You had a stable job and income, friends who would support you and your baby daddy already said he wouldn’t leave. When you deeply thought to yourself you could definitely imagine a family with Noah. You wanted one with him.

When you opened your eyes again, you looked at Noah. He squeezed your hand in support.

"No." You answered the doctor and smile lightly. "We know what we want."

"Okay, I'll give you both a moment," the doctor said than said and left the room, while Noah squeezed your hand tightly.

"So we're gonna be parents?" He asked and smiled at you lightly. You nodded.

"I wouldn’t be mad, if you said you weren’t ready, Noah. You’re doing so well with the band and I don’t want to hold you back." You than explained to him but he shook his head.

"You definitely aren’t holding me back. I can manage it. I will do it for you. For us." He exclaimed and than placed a hand on your stomach. You couldn’t help but feel the warmth form in you again and quickly wrapped your arms around him.

"Thank you so much." - "No need to thank me. But we should definitely talk about us when we get home."

You backed away from him and looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"

"I don’t wanna talk about my feelings at a doctors office." He gave you the hint and with that you quickly nodded and stood up.

"Than let’s go." With that Noah also stood to his feet, grabbed your hand and you left the doctors office together, knowing you would manage this together. As a family.

[m-jelly]

Helloo! after reading your grandpa levi x grandma reader a scenario popped in my head. modern au where levi is aging like fine wine and had alittle eye issue where he needs reading glasses. later on he surprises reader where hes just sitting reading with his glasses on and reader gets really turned on. you can decide if things get heated or not. Thank you!!!

New glasses

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, sheriff Levi, small town, married, dad Levi, fluff, romance, suggestive.

Levi comes back from an appointment and now has reading glasses to help his eyes.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

All four of your kids were being sent off to Erwin's house to have a sleepover with his kids. Your two eldest were teens and happy to love after their brother and sister. You handed bags over to them and gave them a bright smile. "Have a nice time, okay? Call your father or me if you need anything." You gave each of them kisses. "I love you all."

"Love you, Mum!" They all shouted in union.

Levi pulled up in his car and climbed out. "I made it back in time. You lot excited to go for the sleepover?"

"Yes!"

He chuckled. "Be good for Uncle Erwin and Auntie Kat." He waved as they all held hands and walked off to Erwin's. He looked over at you. "Well, hello sexy. Wanna come home with me?"

You giggled. "Yes, please."

Levi scooped you up and carried you inside the house. He kicked the door closed and kissed you passionately. "I missed you."

"Missed you too, handsome."

He sat you on the sofa. "I need to change out of these and then we can play video games all afternoon and night."

You gasped. "So exciting! I'll get snacks and drinks." You moved around the kitchen and gathered what you needed before moving to the living room to see Levi was waiting. "I'm back."

Levi looked over at you with his new reading glasses on. "Wonderful."

You put everything on the coffee table, then stopped and stared at Levi. "What...you..."

Levi adjusted his glasses. "The appointment I said I was going to was to pick up my glasses. I got them tested two weeks ago." He smiled at you. "Do you like it?"

You felt a strong heat shoot through you as you took in your husband. Levi had always been sexy to you, but this was a whole new kind of sexy. Your heart was racing you were feeling so many emotions inside you.

He leaned closer to you. "Something on your mind?"

You whined a little. "You look...really sexy with those on."

He tilted his head. "Do I?"

You gripped his shirt and then shoved him down onto his back. "I just want to attack you. I want to ride you until you have nothing left to give me. I want you to spank me and call me a naughty girl. I want you to tie me up and tease me. I want you to tell me what to do." You flopped against him and hid your face. "I can't believe how much you wearing glasses has turned me on."

Levi felt flustered but excited. He spanked you with both his hands and gripped hard causing you to moan. "Naughty girl. Getting all needy and throwing yourself at me. I should punish you."

You sat up and rolled your hips against him. "Please."

"Maybe I should put you under arrest."

You felt like you were drooling. "Yes!"

[divorcedmalewife]

KP Anniversary Week 3; Prompt "Confession"

also posted on AO3!

Kim has never been very forthright. Very rarely is he ever direct and honest about anything in his life. 

Porchay, Kim is quickly realizing, is the exception. 

It’s been weeks since they tentatively started talking again and Kim likes to think they’ve become friends, in a weird sort of way. Kim wasn’t too sure he could be “just friends” with Porchay. But he would try. He would do anything to keep Porchay in his life. To keep his warmth and love as close as possible. 

Has Kim said any of this out loud? Of course he hasn’t. Kim has learned from a very young age that you should only tell someone the truth as a last resort. That trusting someone with your true intentions and thoughts is dangerous. 

Porchay is the opposite of Kim in that respect. He has always worn his heart on his sleeve and preferred telling the truth over a lie. Even if they lie would make his life easier. 

Kim isn’t used to the kind of honesty that Porchay brings to his life. It’s… refreshing in a way. It’s simple for Kim. He knows that no matter what, he can rely on Chay to tell him the truth. To be honest with him. 

Even in everyday life, Porchay just says what he wants to; say’s what he‘s thinking. 

“I love hia but I swear if he asks me one more time if I’m okay, I may have to punch him.”

“I don’t know if it’s just because I’m in a pissy mood but Khun is being annoying today.” 

“Your dad fucking sucks.” 

“You should wear the denim jacket more, it looks good.” 

“I like your apartment way more than the compound. I hate it here.” 

Kim finds himself replying honestly and not just saying what he thinks Porchay wants to hear. It’s a change — saying what he means and meaning what he says without worrying about what the consequences are. But that’s the effect Chay has on him. 

“Your brother can be irritating. He’d probably let you punch him though.” 

“Khun is literally always annoying. Want me to pick you up?” 

“Yeah…. He does.” 

“I like it more than the leather, actually.” 

“On my way.” 

Each time Kim lets himself be open and honest with Porchay, it feels like a secret confession. 

When Porchay reached out to Kim for the first time, asking for answers, Kim readily gave them to Porchay. He was ready to lay it all out for him. And he did. The moment Porchay asked questions, Kim gave him the honest truth. 

“Yes, it was me who left all those bodies at the bar.” 

“Yes, I loved your song, it meant everything to me.” 

“All the time we spent together was real to me too.”

But there is one thing Kim is still keeping close to his heart. He hasn’t told Porchay that he loves him. 

Porchay probably knows; he’s smart like that. But Kim knows he deserves to be told the whole truth. 

Although, Kim doesn’t think he deserves reciprocation, but he’s working on it. And Kim knows better than to make decisions for Porchay. Kim will tell him eventually and he’ll let Porchay decide where they go from there. Porchay will decide if he wants to keep being just friends or if he wants to try again. 

So they keep texting. They keep hanging out. They even play music together again. It’s everything Kim ever wanted since he realized he had fallen for Chay. All that’s missing, in Kim’s opinion, is being able to kiss Porchay and wake up next to him every morning. 

In the end, it’s not even Kim who first brings their relationship status up again. 

One lazy afternoon, Porchay has his head in Kim’s lap and he’s scrolling through social media while Kim reads a book. Kim has a hand in Porchay’s hair. To Kim, the position doesn’t seem entirely platonic; not that he’s going to complain about it. This is where Kim wants Porchay to be anyway. Kim doesn’t give a single fuck that they’re straddling the line between “just friends” and something that isn’t “just” anything.

Porchay could never be “just” anything to him. 

“P’Kim,” Porchay says quietly. 

Kim makes a questioning hum but when Porchay doesn’t say anything else, Kim puts the book down to Look Porchay in the eye — only to find Porchay is already looking up at him. He looks so soft, with his hair askew from Kim’s ministrations and the threadbare t-shirt that he borrowed from Kim’s closet. Kim feels his heartbeat quickly as he stares into the pair of eyes that made him question everything in his life. 

“Yes, Porchay?” Kim asks. 

“You love me,” Porchay says.

He doesn’t phrase it like a question. Like the statement itself is an answer. Kim supposes it is. It’s the answer to why Kim let Porchay in. It’s the answer to everything. Why is Kim doing this? Because he loves Porchay. Why is Kim acting like this? Because he loves Porchay. Why does Kim feel like he’s safe again? Because he loves Porchay. Why does Kim feel like he can be okay again? Because he loves Porchay. 

“Yeah,” Kim replies softly. “I do love you.” It’s just one more honest statement that Kim makes because he knows he can. Because he knows Chay won’t use the truth against him. 

Porchay’s bright smile in response is enough to make Kim know that every vulnerable moment with Porchay is worth it.

“I love you too,” Porchay says. 

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Sorry if I post this a second time, but I think there is something wrong with my blog?

Now first, quickly to the quarrel between Nico & me. Nico wants to go back to Italy, he wants to to move to his former club .They offered him a new contract and more money. They want him back! That would mean that we would see even less of each other, which of course did not suit me. But Nico didn’t feel comfortable in his current team, he just never told me so I wouldn’t worry. Anyway, I had the feeling that Nico was hiding something from me, about his life in Italy. I thought maybe he’s leading some kind of double life? Last summer he was away for almost 2 months, in Italy, because of that contract and soccer stuff, while I was with Daniel. But why was he there all summer? And months later, after he and I got back together, he got messages from that one girl Patricia, who was also with him in Italy. Allready at that time, this whole thing seemed strange to me. And now all of a sudden he has to fly back abroad even though he doesn’t have a match there? It felt like he was leaving me and our son home alone, so he could have fun in Italy with his fucking team mates. Bcs Damien called him and it sounded like they were talking about a party or something. That’s why I was mad at him and also disappointed. Really disappointed! So yea, something had to change or that’s it! For me, it was no longer a relationship with him, we hardly saw each other and now that he was home, he wanted to go away again.

The House and the Medium (CW: suicide mention, loss)

When the young woman who is a medium came to us this afternoon, I was totally surprised about her. I was honestly expecting someone who might have looked older? No, but she was very nice and actually only 29 years old. However, my mom, grandma, Ana and I decided to tell the young woman as little as possible, to see if she really knows her job. 😬But that’s also what she asked us to do. She only wanted to know who lives here in the house and how we’re all relate to each other.

Right at the beginning she had contact with two deceased male relatives of us. One of them was very young. This young man was here for my Mom, she said. I immediately got goose bumps. I knew that my Mom’s brother would try to talk us, if we ever did… well, something like this.

It was so sad. Not only my mom cried, but all of us. The medium knew everything! I was totally speechless. My uncle wanted my mom to know that he didn’t do this to himself on purpose. He didn’t want to die, when he took the pills. 😞😭And he apologized to my mom, for what she went through after his death. He said that he was with her, all the time, when that one bad aunt (an evil woman) was mean to her. He also wanted us to know, that he never wanted to scare us or anything, because of these nightmares I had about him. He’s just trying to protect me, but he never tried to scare me. Everything I think I saw or dreamed about him, it wasn’t him!! This was something else. And he also said that certain events must happen, but I have to stay strong, then everything will be fine.

The medium asked him, if he knew what was going on here in this house? And well, she was of the opinion, that there is a negative energy in this house, which has nothing to do with us, with my family. This negative energy has been brought here by someone else, but not on purpose. Nevertheless, only the person who called it or brought it here, can get rid of this negative energy. She believed that someone wanted to curse someone and only when this is done, there will be peace here. But you can drive out negative energies by performing certain cleansing rituals. In this way, some peace and quiet comes back into the house, but this evil energy can come back at any time. We cannot completely get rid of it, only the person who has brought that negative energy here, can do this.

Oh, and that second person she contacted, was my grandma’s nephew. Sandra’s step-dad. He often comes here to my grandma’s house, to remember his old life. He and my Dad were inseparable as kids and even later. They were always together. Those were his best times, he wanted my grandma to know and that he’s well.

He also meant that my grandparents are safe in the house because they are not afraid. But I should not stay here too long. The medium also noticed two children (spirits) in the house. They run around all the time, she said. It was hard for her to follow them. For the two, this is a like game: they love to play hide- &- seek. And they also love to hide things. The two children come here, to play with Ana, she said. They think that Ana is still a child? I I suspected that, those children were the two murdered orphans. The medium was not quite sure what exactly happend to the orphans? But she didn’t believe/think they were buried here on my grandparents’ property. Because the two of them were here voluntarily, they like to come here, which means they’re not tied to this place or anything. She said they seem happy and serene. And they love Ana. Haha!! One of the siblings, the girl, loves little kids and Babies. That’s why she is so happy to be here at the moment. I just thought ok, I think I know who made Lucas laugh. In any case, the two kids are no danger to us. They just like being here. Especially when other kids are also in the house. That’s why my grandparents never really noticed anything, they only come when we kids are or were here. Ana, my Cuz and I. Well and now Lucas. One of the siblings, the girl, has developed some kind of special connection or relationship with Ana. Ana was a baby at that time and she was also the only one of us kids, who wasn’t afraid when something strange happened here. Maybe Ana knew or felt that, when she was a little girl? Only later, the older she got, the more scared she was here in the house, mostly because of me to be honest. 😬 Yk, my demons.

We knew now that the shadow in the dining room’s evil and it’s mainly after me. As long as I stay away from it, I’m safe. I asked the medium why me? She meant….. “you let it happen.” Such evil beings cannot just pick anyone to attach themselves to a person. Some people attract them without knowing it. It’s almost like an invitation. I have to consciously shield myself from this thing, ignore it, but the best way is to stay away from here. Then I’m safe. That’s what she told me.🤷‍♀️😞I’ll just stay away from this place.

Previous/Next

[liu-anhuaming]

so i ended up sending that letter detailing all of my grievances dating back to high school to my parents yesterday morning, and as of now (36 hours since sending the email) i've heard absolutely nothing in response

i'm putting the rest under the cut in case y'all don't wanna see me spilling my guts about my bad relationship with my mom and possible abuse?

after a lot of thinking this past week, i realized that the idea of never speaking to my mom every again makes me feel giddy. my therapist was saying i shouldn't rush into this, but i don't think i am? this week isn't even the first time i've thought of going no-contact with my mom, but it's the first time it's been this close to becoming a reality. the thought has gone through my mind multiple times over the past year or so, but i always brushed it off as something that wasn't likely to happen

after weighing all the pros and cons, it just feels like the right thing to do, but i don't know how i should tell her, and i'm afraid of how she'll react

i'm also suddenly full of self-doubt, and a feeling that as bad as my mom was to me, she and my dad were still good parents and provided for me while i was growing up, and after everything they've done wanting to go no-contact makes me selfish and ungrateful, and all sorts of other negative thoughts. a lot of the guild and doubt i'm feeling is definitely me hearing my mom's voice in my head, and i'm trying to push it away

i told my brother i was thinking of doing this, and he said that while it's sad it's come to this, he supports my decision and has my back no matter what i decide. that's definitely helped me pull away from my self-doubt

I was also talking about this all with my coworker (we've spent a lot of time bonding over our terrible mothers), and she used the word "abuse" to describe how my mom treated me. that gave me major pause, bc i've never thought of my mother as abusive. in my mind, she's a terrible person but not abusive. but then today i was doing some googling, and it turns out a lot of the stuff she did can be classed as emotional abuse, so. yeah. that's a lot to process

but no matter what, my relationship with my mom is fucked. the idea of talking to her on the phone is horrifying, and the thought of visiting home fills me with dread and anxiety. whenever i'm home, i feel like i'm walking on eggshells, bc any slip-up means starting a fight with my mom. i absolutely don't feel comfortable sharing anything with her about my mental health or my feelings (bc she's always trivializing them), so when we do talk once a week i'm basically just telling her how my work week was and what the weather's like where i live. that's barely even a relationship

and when i think about the possibility of her changing and becoming a better person, i just don't care? like it's great if she actually internalizes what i'm saying in my letter, but for me it's too little too late. i've already spent the past decade trying to get through to her, and she never listened, so now i just feel done with it all

idk, but if i still don't hear from my parents by tomorrow afternoon, i'll be breaking the silence myself and calling them. bc i am not trying to have a major fight with my mother on a weekday night, where i'll probably spend a bunch of time crying, and then i'll have to go to work the next morning feeling like ass. the advantage of doing it on a sunday morning is that i have the whole rest of the day to feel like shit

[rhaemaya-valwynn]

Don’t Settle for Less- 6taro/Star Platinum and Jolyne/Stone Free

Wrote quick fic that takes place way later in my fanfic- Void Walker. This deals with 6taro and Jolyne re-bonding after surviving the events of Made in Heaven. Their Stands are fully sentient and Star Platinum goes by She/her due to my personal head-canon that Jotaro values the women in his life greatly (mom, ex-wife and daughter) therefore his Stand goes by feminine pronouns.

This deals with time shenanigans and everyone is alive sort of deal.

Small CW of bad boss who treats his employees bad, other than that, mostly just soft caring bonding time.

about 2.1k words.

It was two-thirty pm on a Thursday night. Jolyne had a few weeks off while Gloria's restaurant was being cleaned and refurbished from the fire Anasui started and that Weather put out. It was a rainy day, so Jolyne decided to hang around her father's house as he worked in his office, texting her mom that she'd see her tomorrow afternoon. Jotaro was neck-deep in his paperwork, having missed several months of research due to having Star and his memories removed. Apparently, his boss was on his ass due to how much time was lost from his absence. Not even the Speedwagon Foundation could smooth it over due to how big of a prick he was.

Jolyne and Stone Free were mildly impressed. Someone that wasn't afraid of her terrifying behemoth of a father and his unwavering stubbornness? Impressive, but less fun and kooky than Synth. Much Less. Stone Free mentioned that Star Platinum could have easily broken the man's bones like a toothpick. Star didn't like that suggestion but agreed that this man had been awful since Jotaro met him. They laughed at the time, remarking about how the world was full of dense morons who couldn't tell they were close to getting their knees kicked in by an invisible spirit.

Still, Jolyne felt irked watching her dad get hounded, especially after everything that happened. Stone Free felt the same, complaining to her till she finally confronted Jotaro the previous night. They argued, though argue was a strong word. Neither had raised their voice, and Jolyne didn't get into his face like she used to. They had both talked calmly and reasonably for once, though Jolyne did vent some of her frustrations to her dad. "It's not fair to you, dad." she had stated, folding her arms as Stone Free nodded beside her.

"Life isn't fair, Jolyne," Jotaro hummed sadly.

Star, Stone, and Jolyne wrinkled their noses at that, all agreeing that it was a poor excuse. They then threw what Synth had said at him like a live grenade, "And that is not a reason it should ever be accepted. We can choose to change our world, and this should be one of the things changed."

"Give me a break," Jotaro had murmured before saying, "Let me think on it for a bit."

Jolyne was playing 'Go Fish' with Stone Free and Star Platinum as her dad worked in the office room down the hallway. Star could finally move past her two-meter limit and maintain form for about an hour or two. She was vicious at this game, somehow able to guess what cards were what with just a glance-

"You're cheating, aren't you?" Jolyne suddenly muttered, tossing another five at Star Platinum, who was smiling a bit too wide.

"No!" she defended, "I would never cheat!"

Stone Free rolled her eyes and looked at Jolyne, "She's watching the textures to the cards. Probably memorized them since these are Polnareff's from when Jotaro went to Egypt." Star blushed several shades of fuchsia at that and suddenly started averting her eyes. "See, told you," Stone Free clicked her tongue twice before reaching over and snagging an ace from Star's hands. "Don't worry. Two can play at that game."

Harrumphing, Star stuck her tongue out and snatched a card from Stone Free's hands. Jolyne chuckled as they both began carefully fighting over the cards, tossing her hand down once they started to wrestle gently. She would have quickly joined in if she knew she wouldn't phase through Star and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, given the nature of Stands and all. But the feeling of something large grabbing her while not physically being touched left her feeling awkward.

Still, Jolyne watched the entertainment as mother and daughter played together. A wide smile framed her face before she was pushed to the ground as Star Platinum pinned Stone Free effortlessly. Jolyne's Stand struggled for a minute, trying to get the upper hand, but Star was quicker and stronger than her, deflecting the attacks like they were nothing. 'Stone, you're not going to outpower her!' Jolyne shot across their mental link, 'You need to use your strengths against hers!'

'And what do you think I should do? Turn into string and net her-?' Stone Free fell silent before a soft 'Oh' rang out. Stone Free's body dispelled instantly, causing Star Platinum to crash into the ground. Stone Free maneuvered her string body within seconds into a tightly knitted trap, ensnaring Star Platinum. Looking around wildly, it took her a moment before realizing she couldn't move. Grunting, Star squirmed about on the floor like a caught fish.

Jolyne laughed and went to make a snarky remark when there came a loud crash from down the hallway. Everyone froze and slowly looked over to see Jotaro face fist on the ground, halfway out of the office doorway. "Jolyne...." came a muffled groan from the man, "Please let Star go. I'm on the phone in here...."

Gulping loudly, Jolyne reached over and tugged on the stunned Stone Free, who quickly unraveled and released the larger, more purple Stand before reforming into her more solid state. Jotaro grunted at the release of pressure and slowly clambered upward like a rising mountain. Ready for him to scold her as he usually did, Jolyne was shocked when all he did was turn around and go back into his office with sagging shoulders and tired lifeless-looking eyes.

"Jesus, that man really is taking the piss out of him," Jolyne murmured. Stone Free nodded in agreement before bending down to help Star up, who seemed suddenly melancholic. "Is it that bad?" she inquired to the great Stand.

Star refused to say anything, watching the door Jotaro closed with a haunting look, clearly in tune with her user. Jolyne harrumphed and folded her arms but said nothing. Though inside, she wanted to throttle the leech of a man and yank her dad free of his hold.

But this wasn't her fight. If her dad were so determined to keep this job, it would take an act of God himself to pry him from his chosen course. Still, she debated calling her ace up her sleeve to sway her father into being... less stressed. Especially after everything that happened

                                                   ---------------   Quietly pulling the door shut, Jotaro returned to his desk and took a deep breath before picking up the white phone again. "I'm back. My apologies for that." Sitting in the chair, he tried to relax into the leather but found himself sitting straight up and picking at a small nick in the wood of his desk. A bad nervous habit he was picking up after the Pucci incident.

"What was that all about?" his boss growled, seeming even more irritated than before.

"Just my daughter roughhousing in the next room-" Jotaro explained.

"Your daughter? What is she doing over there? Isn't your bond in the trash can?" Matthew grumbled, the sound of something tossed in a metal bin reverberating through the phone. Jotaro wrinkled his nose. Clearly his boss was day drinking again. Star's irritation matched his own, but he could feel her thoughts suggesting to explain further, hoping to make his boss understand the situation or somehow read the room better.

Jotaro obliged to his Stand's suggestion, "Yes, we've just been working on our....relationship a bit." Looking over at his fish tank, he watched the tropical angel fish dart to and fro in the aquarium. Perhaps reading his agitation, Jotaro suppressed a 'good grief.'

"Ain't you a bit late for that?" his boss laughed dryly, making Jotaro grit his teeth in anger. Star prickled like a rising mother bear on the other end of his subconscious, fury coursing through her mind and comingling with his own.

Jotaro had wanted this job ever since he was a teenager. It was the highest-paying job for his specialty, with many world-renowned marine biologists hailing from them. It was his dream to be here. Funny how dreams can become nightmares. Even though he had made a name for himself in his research on whales and sharks, his boss Matthew fought him every bit of the way. Mocking, bickering, belittling, sabotaging. The piece of shit had done it all. They butted heads so often that most people fled when either of them were in close proximity. It was only in recent years that Jotaro mellowed enough not to rise to the bait every time Matthew tried to crawl under his skin.

Or maybe it was just the depression kicking him into the dirt, as Synth explained.

But right now, his anger was flaring to life like he was seventeen again. It wasn't so much the jab at his poor parenting skills that was gutting him, but more so that indication of him trying to mend the rift he caused was a worthy enough reason to laugh. Jotaro tried to calm himself, repeatedly counting the fish in the tank till his blood began to cool off. That's when he heard Jolyne ask Star, "Is dad going to be okay?"

His anger boiled over, causing him to snap like a rope pulled too taut.

Suddenly standing up, causing his chair to tip over as he rose, Jotaro tutted loudly and glared at his wall full of awards and achievements. Once, they were a source of pride and accomplishment. Now, they mocked him for time wasted.

"Don't settle for less," Synth had said once.

Matthew was still talking on the other side, blabbering on about how his kids were ungrateful little shits, utterly ignorant to Jotaro's wroth.

"I quit."

"What?" Matthew sputtered in shock. The sound of him dropping something, probably another can of booze, was loud and clear as day.

Jotaro stood there for a second, stunned at his own words, before they settled on him like a metal coat of armor. "I quit." he reaffirmed with more confidence.

"You can't-"

"I can, and I am." Jotaro eyed the Speedwagon Foundation's number with a hungry look. "Good grief, I've had enough of you. Finish the job yourself. I've got better things to do." Slamming the phone onto the receiver with a flourish before Matthew could say anything more. Jotaro put both his hands on his desk and breathed deeply. Star was buzzing on the other end of his mind, practically cheering at him.

He shook slightly for a second, letting the thrill of being free fill him up to the brim. Snatching the phone again, Jotaro dialed the number he knew by heart. It rang once before it was answered. "Dr.Kujo! What can we do for you?" Serenity answered. Her voice had never sounded so good before.

"I just quit my job and need a new one. Is that offer from before still available?" he calmly asked. The Speedwagon Foundation had wanted him for years, practically rolling over and begging him to join them. He knew they'd jumped at the opportunity to have the strongest Stand user fully employed under them. Hell, he was sure he could ask for a raise if he really wanted one.

Serenity gasped and fumbled with the phone, clearly astonished. "Y-yes! of course, Dr.Kujo! Shall I compile the applications- er- the jobs we have available for you?" She was floundering, clearly scrambling, but he didn't care.

"Yes, that would be great. Send them to my email, and I will respond by tonight." Jotaro reached down and grabbed his chair, hauling it back upward.

"Ye-yes, of course! I will send them immediately!" Serenity was practically abuzz.

"Thank you." and with that, he hung up. Sitting down in his chair, Jotaro pulled his hat off, ran a hand through his hair, and stared up at the ceiling as he reclined backward. "Shit, that felt good," he murmured before looking over at the door and the hushed whispers leaking down the hallway. "Mmmm."

Standing up, Jotaro readjusted his hat and exited his office. Jolyne and Stone Free were trying to pry information out of Star Platinum, who was practically dancing in place. His daughter looked up at him with worry and a bit of trepidation. "Do you remember the number for that Chinese takeout joint you like?" Jotaro asked. Jolyne nodded dumbly, clearly confused. "Good, I just quit my job, and I believe that requires a good meal in celebration."

The way her and Stone Free's eyes lit up in delight, both of them bolting upright and racing off to grab the phone in the kitchen, was something he'd never forget, a memory ingrained in the back of his eyelids to combat even the worst of days.

[redbleedingrose]

Thank You!!!

This afternoon was a fucking shit-show. 

I wanted to take the time, and thank you for 505 followers!!!! That is fucking incredible, and is literally the only thing that is getting me through today. I appreciate every single one of you and I am so grateful that you guys enjoy my writing enough to follow me. 

This journey has been so insane in the best way possible. I never thought people would like my writing, let alone want more out of it. TBH, I never even thought I would continue with writing Always until people requested a part 2. And then, my entire life changed. 

I wanted to take a second and thank a couple of people who have just been so above and beyond in terms of their kindness towards me. 

@fieldofdaisiies my love, how can I ever thank you for giving me the courage to start on this journey? Your encouragement is the reason that Always and Girl Dad!Eris exists. I can’t thank you enough. Lemme know your thoughts on the epilogue when you get the chance <3

@brekkershadowsinger your support has been so unreal. Every time I post something, I am waiting for your comments to see what you thought. My literal comfort follower. I need your approval to ensure my writing is actually somewhat okay. Thank you for everything my dear friend. <3

@kennedy-brooke your constant requests/asks and comments have ideas flowing through me. You are incredibly kind with the comments that you leave, and you are also one of my comfort followers. I need your comments and thoughts on my writing for me to feel like it is somewhat good enough to post. Thank you so much <3

@azrielhours ugh my bestie... no words for you. I am so thankful you reached out to tell me how impressed you were with Always and the time it took for me to write it. Thank you for being there to listen to my rants, my stress, my concerns, and just giving me the best advice and support. I appreciate you so much, and am so lucky to have you as a tumblr bestie!!

@augustinerose I mean.... come on!!! Your writing has me on the floor every freaking time I read it. Chasing Starlight has become a comfort fic for me that I constantly go back to reread whenever I am feeling down. I literally get so incredibly shy every time I see you like one of my writing posts because I cannot believe one of my favorite writers is reading my stuff. 

@nemesis6666 Your support with Always has been unreal. Your comments make me feel so incredibly good about my writing, like to the point where I am actually giggling and kicking my feet. And it keeps me going. 

ALL OF MY ANONS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! You guys are so so so fucking cute and incredibly kind and gentle with me. Without your support, I seriously would have stopped writing at part 1 of Always. Your thoughts are always appreciated, and I want you to feel open about talking to me about anything and everything. I love love love participation. FRL it has my heart beating so fast anytime I get a message from an anon. I appreciate every single one of your asks, and I am sorry I am so behind with putting out requests. I promise, as soon as I am down with Always, I will get started on those requests <3

And to all of you lovely people who decided to give me a chance and follow. I am incredibly thankful for each and every one of you. I hope that I can continue to prove myself to you. 

[youhavetosmile]

how about one inspired by this

Caught Somewhere in Time byMarv-with-a-v (Marv_aka_Kitten_Writes)

one with Karen x Matt

I am SO SORRY this took me so long! I loosely based this on the story you sent me, so hopefully this is what you were looking for!

Find it on AO3

“So Stark and Banner built this—basically a time machine—and re-collected all the Infinity Stones, and that’s how they got everyone back.”

“That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s what I said, but Peter swears it’s true.”

It was a nearly perfect Saturday.  The traffic outside was less noisy than it was on the weekdays, and the warmth of the afternoon sun and Karen’s body next to him was making Matt delightfully drowsy.  He first thought that Karen’s silence meant she had fallen asleep—there were several nights this week when he had come home and she was still working—but the speed of her heartbeat and the tension in her shoulders told him she was still awake and alert.  “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah,” Karen replied, nodding her head slightly on Matt’s shoulder.  “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Kevin.”  Matt immediately tightened his arms around her.  “I would love to go back in time and change what happened.  Save him.”  She sniffled, and Matt responded only with a kiss to her forehead.  “What about you?” she asked, not wanting to ruin her contentment with thoughts of her brother, “If you could go back in time, what would you change?”

Matt gave a short, sardonic chuckle.  “A lot.  I’d take a different route on the day of the accident.  Tell Stick to go to Hell.  Save my dad.”

“Guess we both have a lot of regrets.”  He could feel the sadness in Karen’s voice.

“Yeah.  But if I really think about it, if I could only change one thing, I’d change what happened—or, rather, what didn’t happen—between us that first night.”

“The night we met?”

“No, the night we kissed in the rain.  I mean, I wouldn’t change that,” he added, feeling Karen tense again, “but I would tell you about—everything.  Be honest for once.”

Karen lifted her head off his shoulder.  “Matt, that’s ridiculous,” she said, and he was surprised to hear that her voice sounded a little angry.

“Why?”

“You’re telling me that if you had one shot to change anything that happened to you, you’d waste it on me?”

“Well, first of all, that’s not wasting it,” he said tenderly, pulling her head back down and gently grasping the hand she still had on his chest, “and second, yes, I would.  Don’t get me wrong, I would do anything to have my sight back, or to never get involved with Stick, or to have my dad still here, but—all of those things really sucked, yes, and I’m not saying it was worth it, but—some good came out of them.  I wouldn’t be who I am and I couldn’t do what I do without those things.  With you—nothing good came out of me not being honest with you from the start.  I wouldn’t have gotten mixed up in all that bullshit with the Hand—”

“Oh, I think you’d have found a way into the middle of that no matter what.”

“Okay, fair,” he conceded with an eye roll, “but it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.  Maybe I never would’ve ended up at Midland Circle or gone so low afterwards.  At the very least, I’d have had you.  We could’ve had each other all this time.  But instead, I hurt myself and, worse than that, I hurt you.  And that I will never feel like I’ve made up for.”

Karen propped herself on her elbow and looked down at him.  “You’re right.  You did hurt me.  And if that’s true,” she continued, ghosting her fingertips along the side of his face, “I think I should get to decide when you’ve made up for it.  And you have more than made up for it.”

Matt’s adoring smile turned into a mischievous smirk.  “You make a good argument, Page.  You really should consider—”

Karen playfully shoved him.  “Matthew Murdock, I swear to God, if the next two words out of your mouth are ‘law school,’ I’ll—”

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll—” she froze for a moment, then laid her head back down right next to his ear, “I’ll go to sleep with my hair in braids.  French braids.”

“Oh, that’s cold, Page…”

[allthingsfangirl101]

Top Gun - Baby Mav Chapter 9: Maverick's Solution To Everything

Masterlist

Maddlyn sighed as she put on her sunglasses and got out of her father's car. She looked around and instantly glared at him.

"What?" He chuckled. "This is a great idea."

"This is a horrible idea," she mumbled as she followed him down the beach.

They set things up as they waited for the others to arrive. When they did, they instantly started asking Maddlyn questions.

"What are we doing here?" Phoenix asked under her breath.

"Maverick's idea," Maddy sighed. "He thinks it fixes everything."

"Thinks what fixes everything?" Payback asked skeptically.

"He calls it, Dogfight Football," she groaned.

"What?" Those around her asked.

"Combines offense and defense to build trust among trainees," Maddlyn said, mimicking her dad.

"Hey!" Maverick chuckled. "It really works."

"Not as much as he believes," Maddlyn mumbled.

"I heard that," he called over his shoulder.

"Remember when you tried to make me and the guys play it?" Maddlyn shot back. She hid her smirk when her dad cleared his throat and finished putting up the net.

"What happened?" Phoenix chuckled.

"They tried to tackle me," she explained.

"What'd you do?" Payback asked.

"Simple," Maddlyn shrugged, "I broke three noses, dislocated two shoulders, and fractured six ribs."

"Nice," Phoenix laughed as the girls high-fived.

* * * * *

After an afternoon of playing, the group was exhausted. They decided to sit around a fire and talk. The conversation was light and fun. Until. . .

"I gotta know," Hangman smirked at Maddy. "There are a lot of rumors floating around about your flight."

Rooster felt Maddy tense beside him. She glanced at her dad before looking back at Hangman.

"And?" She said, pretending not to care.

"I just want to know what really happened that day."

"Maddy, you don't have to," Maverick started to say.

"It's fine," she cut him off. "It's about time someone knew the truth. And besides, I'm damn tired of hiding it."

"Hiding it?" Rooster asked softly. Maddy gathered her courage, not entirely sure if she was going to be able to tell them the truth.

"The Navy wanted everyone to believe that the flight was this big heroic show," Maddlyn scoffed. "When in reality. . ."

"Reality?" Bob asked gently.

"It was a shitshow." Maddlyn looked at her father again before turning back to the group. "There were five of us; Johnson, Adams, Westen, Lucas, and me. They were all horrible, sexist pigs. They loved trying to shoot me down. I made sure they never could. I'd shoot them all down before they could even line up behind me."

"That's my girl," Maverick chuckled. He stopped laughing when Maddlyn continued.

"The flight was supposed to be simple," Maddy sighed, her tone changing. "All we were supposed to do was fly over a building that was where the enemy kept their supplies. We weren't supposed to make contact. It was just a flyover mission but it went terribly wrong."

Rooster looked down and saw her hands shaking. He started to reach over and grab them but stopped himself.

"A little while after we took off," she continued, "I noticed two bogies following us. They'd come into view for only a few brief seconds before disappearing again. I tried to warn the guys, but they didn't believe me."

"Of course, they didn't," Phoenix scoffed.

"They just kept telling me to "shut the hell up" or "stop being such a baby" and "if you're going to bitch, go bitch back at the ship". They never did come up with new insults. I told them at least ten times before. . ."

"Before what?" Payback asked.

"I should've been faster," she mumbled.

"What do you mean, Mads?" Rooster asked.

"First, it was Westen," she said, her voice low. "Then it was Lucas. I finally snapped out of it and shot down the first bogie. The second one shot down Johnson as I shot him down. At least, I thought it was the second bogie who shot Johnson down."

"It wasn't?" Fanboy asked.

"Nope," Maddy whispered. "It was Adams."

"Adams?" Hangman asked. Up until now, he had been surprisingly quiet. "You mean. . . He was a. . ."

"A traitor," Maddy said, glancing at him. "He betrayed his team. He betrayed his country. And he did it all for glory. It took me too long to wrap my head around it."

"Maddy," Maverick sighed, "it only took you a few seconds before you reacted."

"I should've known," she said angrily to herself. "Before we took off, I checked my plane like I always do. When I did it, I noticed there was something weird with the tracker. Figuring it was nothing, I reset it. Then I noticed there was something wrong with the black box."

"The black box?" Bob asked. "You mean the thing that records. . ."

"Everything," Maddy said. "Adams manipulated every one of our black boxes so they wouldn't record anything that happened."

"Shit," Payback mumbled.

"Luckily, Maddlyn noticed and reversed it," Maverick said, trying to lighten the tension.

"It saved my life."

The tension returned.

"What do you mean?" Bob asked.

A lump started to form in Maddlyn's throat. She tried to swallow it down, but it wouldn't budge. "After Adams shot down Johnson, he turned his plane toward me. He mouthed off to me and said all the things he'd been wanting to say." Maddlyn scoffed. "He said exactly what he'd said to me since day one. But then. . . I knew it was coming before he did it."

"Did what?" Phoenix asked.

"Shot you down," Rooster finished for her. The group glanced around at each other, but Maddlyn kept her focus on the fire.

"I got off my shot a millisecond before he got off his," she said, through clenched teeth.

"You were always a better shot," Maverick said softly.

"Which means. . ." Fanboy didn't finish asking.

"Which means he hit one of my wings. I hit his engine." Maddlyn finally looked up from the fire and Rooster could see how much this flight had been holding her down.

"He exploded," Maverick clarified. "Maddy didn't."

"I was spiraling," Maddy said, her voice lower. "I couldn't get out of it."

"Why didn't you eject?" Payback asked.

"I tried," she said through her teeth. "Son of a bitch messed with our parachutes, too."

"Shit," Phoenix mumbled, her anger turning dark.

"I was stuck," Maddlyn struggled to continue. "When I landed. . . I don't remember much else."

"I do," Maverick jumped in.

"You were there?" Rooster asked. The entire team was shocked as Maverick nodded.

"I was back in the control room," Maverick explained. "I heard everything. What's worse is I couldn't do anything as she crashed. As soon as she landed, we sent every rescue team we had. When they got to Maddlyn's beacon, she wasn't there."

"Wait, what?" Rooster panicked as he glanced at Maddlyn.

"She was two miles away," Maverick smirked.

"I was in and out of consciousness," Maddlyn clarified. "During the few times I was awake, I crawled out of the plane and started walking."

"You started walking?" Phoenix asked.

"I had a concussion," she shrugged. "I was delirious. And pissed."

"When they found her, she was passed out," Maverick continued. "They brought her back and she was unconscious for two weeks."

"And when I woke up, they forced me to attend an ethics committee meeting," she said through clenched teeth.

"They what?!" Everyone yelled.

They started shouting out angry comments about forcing a woman to go to an ethics committee. Rooster hit Fanboy next to him when he noticed Maddlyn's eyes fill with tears. When Fanboy understood why Rooster had hit him, he hit Payback who hit Phoenix, who hit Bob. Bob was about to hit Hangman but stopped himself.

~•~

"Daddy," Maddy said weakly as he helped her onto a seat outside the committee's conference room. "I'm tired."

"I know, pumpkin," Maverick sighed as he sat next to her and wrapped her in his arms. "They just want to ask you a few questions and then I will take you right back to the hospital."

Maddlyn stayed in her father's arms as they waited for the committee. She fell asleep as he rubbed her back. A few minutes later, Hondo walked out of the room. He looked down at Maddlyn in Maverick's arms and sighed.

"They're ready for her, Mav," Hondo said. Maverick looked down at Maddlyn in his arms. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Maddy, pumpkin," he whispered. "They're ready for us."

Maverick stood up and helped Maddlyn to her feet. He instantly wrapped his arm around her waist and helped her inside. As they walked into the room, Maverick's heart jumped into his throat when he realized that Maddlyn would be forced to stand throughout the entire meeting.

The stares were varied; pity, sadness, annoyance. Maverick glanced at Ice to see him sending his daughter a small smile.

"Do you think we could get her a chair?" Maverick asked.

"The pilot on trial stands," Admiral Beau said without looking up from his notes.

Maverick was about to object, but Maddlyn squeezed his arm. "I'm fine," she whispered.

"Are you sure?" He asked. She smiled and nodded but he could see how tired she was.

"Captain Phillips," Admiral Beau said with no patience. "Please take your seat."

Maverick hesitated and sent his daughter a look. She nodded again and he slowly let her go. The second she no longer had his support, her balance waived. She caught herself and took a shaky breath.

"Now, Ms. Phillips," Admiral Beau started.

"She's a Lieutenant," Hondo interrupted. Maddlyn glanced at her dad who was struggling to hide his smirk.

"Right," Admiral Beau cleared his throat. "Lieutenant, can you tell us what happened during the F-18-20 flight?"

"Don't you. . . Don't you have the black box recording?" Maddlyn asked softly.

The admirals looked at each other and Maverick knew what that look meant. "They didn't listen to it," he mumbled to Hondo.

"Or worse, they did," Hondo scoffed, "and they don't believe it."

"We want to hear your side of the story," Admiral Beau said like it was obvious.

"You did hear it," Maddlyn said, her father hearing her anger completely replace any pain she was feeling. "The black box recorded everything."

"Miss Maddlyn," Adirmal Beau sighed.

"It's Lieutenant," she corrected.

"That's my girl," Maverick chuckled under his breath.

"You didn't even listen to it, did you?" She scoffed. "I have been in a coma for the last two weeks. You forced me out of the hospital bed and you haven't even done your investigation?!"

When Maddlyn tried to take a step closer to the admirals, the pain came back and she collapsed. Maverick was at her side instantly.

"Really, Lieutenant?" Admiral Beau sighed. "Faking pain. . ."

"She's not faking," Maverick cut him off. He helped his daughter to her feet as Hondo brought over a chair. "There's no need. I'm taking her back to the hospital."

"I'm not going anywhere," Maddlyn weakly jumped in.

"Maddy. . ."

"No," she interrupted. "I am not going anywhere until they listen to the damn black box recording."

Maverick helped Maddlyn sit down. Neither Maverick nor Hondo moved from next to Maddlyn.

"Play it," Maverick demanded. "Now."

The feeling in the room shifted as they played Maddlyn's black box recording from the worst day of her life. The closer the recording got to the final shot, the more she shook. Maverick grabbed his daughter's hand and let her squeeze it as hard as she needed to.

"Adam?! What the hell are you doing?" Maddlyn's voice came through the recording.

"Something I've wanted to do since the day I first met you," Adam scoffed.

Maddlyn let out a small shriek when the sound of their planes shooting at each other made her jump. Maverick instantly wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly to his chest as she sobbed.

He looked up at the admirals with as dark as a fatherly glare as he could muster. He maintained eye contact until the recording stopped. With his arms still wrapped around his daughter, he gently pulled her to her feet. He could've belittled them, but he knew the fewer words, the stronger the effect.

"We're done here."

~•~

The group was frozen as Maddlyn finished her story. They didn't know what to say or do. The tension was thick as things were clarified.

"They didn't say anything else," she said, her voice low. "All they said was 'thank you for coming down' and 'we'll call you when the committee has come to a decision'. They called me a month later and brought up what came next."

"What came next?" Rooster asked.

"They wanted to go public," Maddlyn scoffed. "They wanted to spread the story of my heroic actions, shooting down three bogies all on my own after my team was shot down."

"Three bogies?" Bob asked. "I thought there were only two."

"Oh, did I mention? They wanted to leave out the part about Adams and say he was a bogie."

"Damn," Hangman mumbled under his breath.

"They wanted me to be the face of the Navy," Maddlyn said, her tears returning. "Spread the word about me. I wanted to rest and go through my physical therapy without interruptions and interviews. I wanted to retire."

"Wait, what?" Rooster asked. "Retire? Maddlyn. . ."

"I couldn't stand it anymore," she cut him off. "I had never been treated like I belonged. Now they wanted me to be the face of it all? They're lucky I didn't sue the United States Navy for all the shit I went through."

Maverick reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing to silently tell her to calm down.

"Instead of retiring," she said, taking a shaky breath, "they told me I could go on medical leave until I was ready to come back, but to be honest, I didn't think I'd ever come back."

"What made you come back?" Bob asked innocently.

Maddlyn glanced at her father before admitting, "I've read the flight plan and looked at your previous runs. If I didn't get involved. . ."

"Let's just say," Maverick jumped in, "without Maddlyn, this upcoming flight wouldn't happen."

[what-gs-watching]

“Sunlight over me, no matter what I do.”

This week on what G’s watching - what G’s listening to. 

This is exciting!

Gang, I told you content is how I apparently digest my feelings, and a big ol’ part of that is music. Always has been, my dad has this crazy extensive collection of albums. When I was a kid he always had something on in the car, or playing from the old stereo in our living room. One of my favorite memories is listening to the Beatles’ White Album with him on long afternoons. He’d let me dance around on his feet, and we’d sing every single one, I was the eight year old who knew the entire thing by heart.

Music is a core fucking memory for me, it’s my dad in a nutshell. I remember one year for Christmas, he gave me a bunch of burned cd’s - all of the Beatles broken up by time period, Cat Stevens, Bob Dylan, Joni Mitchell,  a set of discs that included the top songs broken out by month between 1964 and 1968, six in total. The tracks, he told me eventually, perfectly encapsulated the way those different seasons felt to him - The March/April disc really feels like springtime.

If you knew my dad, you’d know that the effort he put into it was much  more than his usual Christmas attempts, which were: my mother buying the gifts and then writing his name on the tag. 

So the point is: music can be an incredible thing and it’s a large part of who I am. I could write an entire post about all of that (and one about the Beatles, and one about Paul McCartney specifically, and one about Adele, and one about Bo Burham…see, I’m nuanced)  but I won’t. Right now, at least. 

Because I want to talk about Fleet Foxes. Specifically, Helplessness Blues.

This album came into my life at a weird time, I’d moved to a new city and was working my first ever real tech job and I was living with my sister, trying to figure my shit out. Which involved coworker-turned-friend drama because at the time I was absolutely not the best person, and it was very early 20’s of me. You know, when everything feels frenetic and you aren’t sure what the fuck you’re supposed to be doing with your life, so you’re just…doing random things, all the things. 

Which made me extremely susceptible to the creeping kind of darkness infused with hope the album has. I have a penchant for indie folk bands. I can’t help it. I fucking love guitar and thrumming drums with violins and shit. It just feels real to me. Authentic. Organic.

So it’s no wonder Fleet Foxes pulled me. I had a couple of their other songs on random playlists but had never attempted to listen to their first release. And then one day I was getting my oil changed, sitting in the waiting room and I read a review of Helplessness Blues in a magazine, probably Rolling Stone. I immediately bought it, which wasn’t really like me at the time - I was deep into stitching together random lists on my ipod, pulling tracks from all over the place, but I felt like I had to.  Thankfully.

I don’t know what it is about this album, but it’s the perfect mix of mauldin, shiny, twisted, uneasy, exciting, overwhelming. It feels like there’s a story to it, it’s cohesive and purposeful, but I couldn’t tell you what the narrative actually is. And that’s probably the point. It’s whatever the story is to you, and man this album for me is angst and questioning and accepting. It’s become one of those perfect albums you can listen to, never skipping a track, because they’re always a little different depending on the mood you’re in.

And right now, I'm in a weird mood. I’m lost in my life again, and angst sounds about right, so I put the album  on this afternoon after I’d finished my unemployment application and tried to harass the pharmacy for my husband, did some laundry, some dishes, random life things. I decided all I wanted to do with my Friday was chill the fuck out, blast Helplessness Blues through my airpods, and just, be with myself, and  something familiar. Inside my own brain, but with something comforting, lulling me in the background. 

I wanted to wrap myself up in something, and this was the perfect choice. Apparently one of my coping mechanisms is to just put some music on and let it overwhelm me, turning the volume up as high as I can tolerate, and singing along as needed at the top of my lungs. It’s honestly therapeutic. 

That’s what Helplessness Blues is good for. Because it’s quite a production. You can get lost in the story and it’ll morph into whatever you need at the time. Today it’s a squirming  sense of unease, but also triumph. It’s so good.

I could probably talk about all of the tracks, I’m not going to lie, but that sounds exhausting; they’re still lulling my brain right now and I don’t feel like I could pick out each one well enough, they flow together too well. 

However, The Shrine / The Argument is fucking ambitious. It’s so many different things all at once and it’s almost confusing as one song but eventually it’s really, really not. It’s weird and it ends with a horrible cacophony but then delivers really soft and agonizing violins. It has some of my favorite lyrics from the entire album:

In the morning waking up to terrible sunlight / All diffuse like skin abuse the sun is half its size

When you talk you hardly even look in my eyes

In the doorway holding every letter that I wrote / In the driveway pulling away putting on your coat

In the ocean washing off my name from your throat

Because, who hasn’t felt like that? It’s a really specific loss. How else can you say something like that? 

This is clearly getting away from me, but that’s okay. This is what I wanted to do today. I don’t do this very often, Helplessness Blues isn’t in my regular rotation, because it deserves to be listened to and I don’t always have that kind of time. I’m thankful that I do today though, I’m almost through my second rotation, and it's helping. I’m updating the story that it is, for me. Next time I listen to it, it’ll remind me of this stupid thing I’m going through and all that I am right now, a little bit. 

For example: listening to Blue Spotted Tail was very Crowley and Aziraphale today.  That’s apparently where I am, so now it’s part of the story. 

Why in the night sky are the lights hung? Why is the earth movin’ around the sun? Floating in the vacuum with no purpose not a one…

Poor little Antony J.

 Why is life made only for to end? Why do I do all this waiting then? Why this frightened part of me that's fated to pretend?

So. If you need to feel ways about things (we all do, now and again, right) this album will do it for you. And this is a terrible love letter to it, but just…trust me.

[oakleavesandcoffee]

Dimension 20 exchange 2022

This is my gift for @captainswan618 for the D20 exchange! 

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44687986 Title: One fateful afternoon

Summary:  Pete sighed softly as he looked out of the window at the stables. He really wanted to go out there and talk to Cody, the stable hand, but he was stuck in this stupid meeting about his future. And not even his future as king, but his future romantic life. It was frankly ridiculous, if Pete was honest. Why couldn’t he find someone he could marry himself. Why did every little thing have to be planned out in extreme detail?

~~

Pete sighed softly as he looked out of the window at the stables. He really wanted to go out there and talk to Cody, the stable hand, but he was stuck in this stupid meeting about his future. And not even his future as king, but his future romantic life. It was frankly ridiculous, if Pete was honest. Why couldn’t he find someone he could marry himself. Why did every little thing have to be planned out in extreme detail? 

“Pete, are you listening?” his dad Kingston asked, “She will arrive by mid afternoon, and you’ll be there to greet her. You’ve known each other since you were children so don’t be too rude to her. From what I remember you used to love to play together when you were kids.” 

Pete had no idea who his father was talking about, but he hoped it was one of the few girls who didn’t react badly to his transition. 

“I will be there, father, am I free to go?” At his father’s nod, Pete rushed out of the room as politely as he could afford being the crown prince leaving a meeting with important advisors to the country and the king, even if he was your father. 

“Hello Cody,” Pete greeted the stable hand as he arrived at the stables. “How are you?”

“Your highness, good afternoon,” Cody said as he bowed. 

“I’ve told you to call me Pete, Cody,” 

“I know, your highness,” 

Pete could hear the teasing lilt to Cody’s voice as he said that and grinned. “How is Preston doing today? Did she try to eat all the apples again?”

“She sure did,” Cody laughed, “she’s doing well, I can get her ready for you if you want to go for an afternoon ride?” 

Pete shook his head, “I can’t, I’m afraid. I have to stay and greet an important guest this afternoon.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yes, my father has finally decided who I am supposed to wed,” Pete grimaced and fidgeted with a loose thread on his overcoat. He’d have to let Iga know it was getting loose, she could fix it for him. “I wasn’t paying attention to the meeting, however, so I don’t know who I will be welcoming this afternoon.”

“I’m sure it will be okay, your highness,” Cody said, “I don’t mean to be rude, your highness, but I have a lot of chores left to do. Josh isn’t here today so it’s all up to me.”

“Of course, my apologies for keeping you from your job. I should go, I have to get ready to welcome my guest as well.” Pete nodded at Cody and turned to go. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Goodbye, your highness,” 

Pete walked around the gardens until he was truly late enough to get changed that he’d had to hurry. As he rushed outside he thought about who he would be greeting. He prayed to everything that was holy that it wouldn’t be Priya. If Priya was supposed to be his bride he would abdicate and become a recluse somewhere high up in the mountains. 

He came to a stop right next to Ricky, a knight of the court and his guard whenever they travelled. Suffice to say they were good friends.

“Hey Ricky, how are you?” He asked in a low tone, as he could already see the carriages of another royal court in the nearby distance. “Did you pay attention during the meeting this morning? Can you tell me who is about to arrive?”

“Good afternoon, Pete. I can, but what would be the fun in that? You were at the meeting, you should know.” Ricky turned to face him slightly to smirk before turning back to the arriving guests. “What was so interesting outside that you couldn’t pay attention to the very important meeting inside?” 

“Nothing!” Pete said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “I just don’t like that everything in my life is chosen for me. Why can’t I decide who I get to marry? Can you at least tell me it’s not Priya? Because if it’s Priya I will abdicate.” 

“Your father knows that, Pete. It’s not Priya.” 

“Thank goodness,” Pete sighed. 

“Now look polite, they’re here.”

Pete watched as the carriages pulled up and two guards came out of it. They carried a small red carpet that they spread out on the ground in front of the second carriage. That was where his future bride was, then. His eyes were glued to the door of the carriage as it opened. Please, let it be someone he would actually be able to tolerate and maybe even love. Please. 

It was as if time itself hated Pete because the door to the carriage couldn’t have taken longer to open. When it finally opened he couldn’t help but grin. Yes, they’d definitely be okay. 

~ 

Sofia was less than pleased about her current situation and she’d made sure her parents knew. Who decided promising children to each other to be wed was something normal to do? She was her own person and could pick someone perfectly perfect to marry, thank you very much. She wasn’t even the crown princess, for goodness sake, why did she have to get married to a prince she didn’t even know? Except apparently she did know him, they’d been friends as children. As children. Who knew what he was like now? 

Sofia sighed and leaned her head on Dale’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, my love,” she whispered, “I know this is not what we had planned.” 

“I won’t say it’s alright, sweetest, but we knew this was the risk.” Dale replied, just as softly. Sofia sighed. 

“At least you’ll still be around, no one needs to know what is going on between us if we don’t want them to.” 

“Let’s not talk about betraying the trust of your future husband before we’ve met him, mi principessa, he might be nicer than you think.” 

“He won’t be you, though,” Sofia straightened and looked at Dale. “I know we shouldn’t talk about betraying his trust but I’ll never love him as much as I love you, I promise.” 

“And I will love you for the rest of my days, sweetness.” Dale said and kissed her softly. 

“Your highness!” a knock on the door of the carriage. “We’re at the edge of the forest before we will be in sight of the castle, you asked me to let you know.” 

“Thank you, Em, you’re a dear.” Sofia called back and turned to Dale. “This is where we part, I suppose.” 

“I suppose it is, I’ll see you when we arrive at the castle.” With one last kiss, Dale got out of the carriage to join the other knight in their entourage in the first carriage. As she watched him leave, Em and Rowan joined her in her carriage. 

“I will be alright, Sof,” Rowan said, “I’m sure your prince will be perfectly nice. And Dale will still be there.”

“You’re right,” Sofia sighed, “it’s just not fair.” 

“It’s not,” Em agreed as Rowan nodded. 

Their carriage started moving again, bringing Sofia and her entourage to the castle they would be spending the rest of their lives in. It was a small entourage. Sofia, the youngest child of the king and queen of Staten Island and their only princess. Dale, a knight of the court and her personal bodyguard and the love of her life. Em, one of her two ladies in waiting, and Rowan, her other lady. Her closest friends and confidants. The fifth and last person to complete their entourage was Kugrash, an older knight who had a soft spot for her and she’d argued much to let her bring him along to her new place of residence. Her group was small, but it was hers and all of them knew why the situation pissed Sofia off. 

She refused to look out of the little window to see if she recognized anything and startled when the carriage stopped. If it were up to her they’d turn around and go back, but of course they couldn’t, and before long Dale opened the door of he carriage and offered his hand to guide her down the step. She wanted to keep her face down and ignore the group of people waiting for her. 

Then she looked up and smiled. They would be alright. 

~

“I would like to officially welcome you to Manhattan castle, your Royal Highness Princess Sofia of Staten Island.” Pete bows at the princess and can’t help but grin to himself. 

“I am pleased to be here, your Royal Highness Prince Peter of Manhattan.” Sofia curtsies. 

“Please, call me Pete,” Pete smiles at the princess and offers his arm. “Would you like a tour of the palace and adjacent garden?”

“Call me Sofie then. It’s good to see you again, Pete, I would like a tour very much.” She accepts the arm offered to her and turns to Em and Rowan. “Can you girls make sure our things will be brought to the correct chambers? Dale and Kugrash can help of course.” 

“Ricky, please assist our guests to the west wing where they will be staying.” 

“Of course, your highness.” Ricky nods and turns to the waiting guests. “If you’ll follow me,”

Pete and Sofia watch as Ricky leads Sofia’s entourage inside, and Pete doesn’t miss the look between Sofia and one of her guards. He’d have to ask her about that. 

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you, Sofie.” Pete said as they started walking. “I wasn’t paying attention to the meeting so I wasn’t sure who would be arriving.”

Sofia giggles. “I yelled at my parents when they told me what this trip would be for. They didn’t even get the chance to tell me it was you I’d be meeting before we had to leave. I didn’t give them the room to do so.”

“So we could both have saved ourselves the trouble if we had just let our parents talk? That sounds about right from what I remember.” Pete laughs as he thinks about the way they’d been as children. Always running around getting into trouble and never listening to what their parents had to say. 

“I suppose we could have, but that wouldn’t be very us, would it.” 

Pete laughs and agrees. 

They’re in the palace garden now and there’s no one around anywhere to overhear them. 

“Can I ask you something, Sofie?” she nods, “Do you want to marry me? I saw the look between you and your very handsome guard. I won’t be offended if you say no.” 

“I-,” Sofia hesitated, “if I’m being honest, no, I don’t want to marry you. Don’t get me wrong, if I had to get married to any prince because my parents said so I’d be glad it was you. But Dale, he’s the love of my life. We’ve been together in secret for over two years and I will never love anyone as much as I love him.”

“Oh thank goodness,” Pete sighs, then quickly adds, “not that you’re not wonderful and I would be lucky to marry someone like you but really you’re, kind of- not really- it’s just you’re a girl and, one secret for another, I’m gay.” 

“Only us,” Sofia laughs, “thank you for trusting me with your secret, I’ll keep it as safe as I have kept mine.”

“I trust you,” 

“So, do you have your eye on anyone?” 

“No,” Pete responds way too quickly. 

“You so do!” Sofia giggles, “C’mon, tell me! I won’t tell anyone,” 

Pete glances around the garden, but they’re still completely alone. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about Cody, he supposes, and Sofia said she wouldn’t tell anyone. 

“His name is Cody,” he mumbles.

“Cody? I don’t think I know any royalty named Cody. Unless he’s nobility, not royalty? There are so many I always forget half of their names.”

“He’s not royalty, or nobility.” Pete awkwardly scratches behind his ear. “He’s the stable hand. But you should see him! His eyes are piercing blue and his hair is as black as the night sky. He’s super strong and so polite every time I come to the stables. You’ll like him I’m sure.” 

“In that case, let’s have a tour of the stables as the next part of this tour.” 

Pete starts to protest but Sofia tightens her hold on his arm and gives him a look. Pete grimaces but nods in agreement, it would be nice to see Cody. 

“Cody, are you here?” Pete calls out as they enter the stables. “Her Royal Highness Princess Sofia of Staten Island wants to meet you.” 

They hear a crash and a muffled curse from the far corner of the stables and a second later Cody’s face appears. 

“Terribly sorry, your highnesses, I was so caught up I didn’t hear you come in.” Cody wipes his hands on a rag and approaches the pair. When he’s in front of them, he bows. “It’s an honour to meet you, your highness.”

“Lovely to meet you, Cody,” Sofia smiles, “Pete talks highly of you.”

“He does?” Cody can’t help but ask, “I mean, thank you, your highness,”

“How are Sofia’s horses settling in?” Pete asks before Sofia can say anything else to embarrass him. 

“They’re well, settled with some hay and water. They’ll be looked after with the utmost care.” 

They make small talk with Cody for a bit longer before Sofia asks to finish the tour and be shown the castle, so they leave Cody and head towards the first wing of the castle. 

“He was totally looking at you when you turned around!” Sofia whisper-yells, “He likes you, too, I can tell.”

“He does not,”

“Does so,”

“Does not,”

“Does so,” “Not,” 

“Does,”

“Ahem,” a voice interrupts them, and they look up. 

“Dale!” Sofia exclaims, “Have you finished your tour already?” 

“About a quarter of an hour ago, your highness,” 

“Wonderful, then you can show Sofia around!” Pete says, and pushes Sofia towards her lover. “Not that I don’t love your company, Sof, but we said what we said and I just got a wonderful idea.”

“Of course, Petey-pie.” Sofia giggles and curls her hand around Dale’s offered arm. “See you at dinner?”

Pete nods and waves them off. 

He heads to the library in search of Esther, hoping she can help him find what he needs. He finds her sitting at one of the big tables in their enormous library. 

“Good afternoon, Esther,” he greets her as he joins her at her table. The books in front of her look difficult, with a lot of crossing lines and pulsating red light coming from one of the many open pages.

“Your highness, good afternoon,” Esther nods at him, “What can I help you with?”

“Do you know of any way to turn a flower green? I don’t want a leaf I would like for the actual flower petals to be green.”

“You’re in luck, colour changing is one of the first charms we teach apprentices and I actually have some flowers still from the lesson last week, why don’t you have a look at those?” She leads him to a table in a corner, where a wide variety of flowers are neatly stacked. “Take anything you like, if there’s anything else I can do for you I’ll be at my table.”

“Thank you,” Pete nods and turns his attention to the flowers. He finds a beautifully delicate flower that has been turned entirely green. He doesn’t know much about flowers so he wasn’t sure about its original colours but it was super pretty in green. 

He throws a “Thanks, Esther!” over his shoulder as he rushes out of the library back down the winding stairs and out of the door to the stables. 

“Cody! Are you here?” 

“Your highness, is everything alright?” Cody frowns at how out of breath Pete is.

“Huh? Oh, yes, everything is okay, or I hope so. Depends on what you say.” Pete smiles. 

“On me?” Cody frowns.

“I realised today how short life is and meeting Sofia again after so many years and seeing what she has made of her life gave me the nudge I needed to make sure I would live a life I would actually like and not have to regret anything when I’m old. I like you, Cody, romantically. And I hope you like me too. And that you’ll accept this flower as a token of my appreciation and a courting gift.” Pete holds out the green flower. “I know this sounds ridiculous but it’s true and I’m not playing a joke on you or insincere in my advances and I hope you’ll give me a chance.” 

“You’re really not kidding?” Cody whispers, looking pale. 

“I’m not,” Pete confirms.

“I would be honoured to be courted by you, Pete,” 

“You would?” 

“I would,”

“Does that mean you like me as well? Romantically?” 

“I never thought I’d stand any chance, so I wasn’t going to tell you. You’re a prince. You’re presumed to be straight, though I know better now. Even if you liked men I didn’t think there was any chance in hell that you’d like me, a lowly stable hand, when there’s all these gorgeous princes all around you all the time. All that’s to say, I like you a lot, romantically.” 

“Can I kiss you?” Pete blushes as soon as he says it but he doesn’t take back his words.

Cody nods, just as red, and reaches out a hand to Pete. 

Pete puts his hands on either side of Cody’s face and presses the softest kiss to his lips. 

“Finally!” A small voice says from behind Pete, and they jump apart as fast as they can. Pete turns around.

“Nod! What are you doing here?” Pete looks at his younger sibling.

“I wanted to play and I thought you would be here because you’re always here looking at Cody.” 

“I- I want to disagree but you’re probably right, I am in here a lot.” Pete laughs, “and I’ll be in here even more now.”

“Are you going to get married?” Nod asks, and Cody stifles a sound.

“Hopefully one day.” Pete says, looking at Cody instead of Nod. “Are you okay?”

“What about the princess?”

“She won’t mind, I can tell you that much. We’ll figure it out.” Pete squeezes Cody’s hand. “You can’t tell anyone yet, okay, Nod? It’s like the secret with the candle and the carpet.” 

Nod mimes zipping their lips shut and nods in agreement. “Can we play now?”

“Yeah, we can play. Cody, would you like to join us?” 

~ 

“Pete knows.” Sofia says as soon as they’ve ended the tour and entered her new bedroom. “We can trust him and he doesn’t mind. He prefers this actually.”

“Okay, darling, I trust your judgement.” Dale smiles at her. 

“Pete and I are going to come up with a plan and you and I are going to be together for the rest of our lives, I promise you. Now come cuddle on this bed that looks ridiculously big and cosy.”

Dale follows and they spend the afternoon quietly enjoying each other’s presence. There’s no need for big declarations between them, the softness of being in each other’s arms is more than enough for them. 

When dinner time arrives Sofia reluctantly separates from Dale to have dinner with Pete and the rest of the court. She’s glad to see she’s seated next to Pete with Em and Rowan on her other side. 

“Hey Pete,” she sits down next to him and looks closely at his face. “You look different from this afternoon. Like you feel-” she gasps, “did you?” 

Pete smiles at her.

“You did! Oh my gosh I’m so happy for you!” She falters, “He did respond well, right?”

Pete nods and smiles, “He did.” 

“Yay!”

“I’m going to tell my parents.” 

“I’ll be there to support you, if you want me to.”

“I’d like that,” he smiles at her, “and we can see what we can do for you and Dale,”

“That would be amazing,”

~

Sofia and Pete spend a few days thinking of how to approach the topic with the king and queen of Manhattan, and in extension Sofia’s parents back in Staten Island. 

When they finally get their plan together they present it to King Kingston and Queen Elizabeth, who can’t help but agree. They only want what's best for their son, after all. They’d picked Sofia to be wed to Pete because they knew the two got along and at the very least they could be close friends if they didn’t fall in love. Which they now know would definitely not happen. 

Kingston and Liz meet Cody as Pete’s partner that same night, and while they have some concerns because of Cody’s lack of noble status, they see how happy he makes their son and how happy their son makes him. 

They watch their son and his partner through the years as they grow closer together and happier than they have ever seen Pete. 

Cody and Pete bring out the best in each other, where Pete helps Cody learn how to act in official settings, Cody helps Pete be more present in the now and introduces him to the people in the village. Where it was once rare to see any of the royal family in the nearby town, it is now odd if they don’t see the crown prince every couple of days. 

Cody apprentices under Ricky and becomes a knight of the court before he and Pete get married. It quickly becomes clear to Pete that if they didn’t budget for it, Cody could and would spend all of their gold on the most gorgeous and elaborate swords. It didn’t matter that they were impractical, they also made good wall decorations if he had to believe Cody. 

Pete and Cody get married after a two year courtship, during which time Pete works hard together with his parents to change the laws about royalty marrying common folk. They get married the day the laws change, and it’s a wonderful ceremony, better than any of them could have asked for. Cody tries to wear three swords to the wedding but Pete manages to convince him to leave two of them at home when he lets Cody get a sneak peak at his wedding present (spoiler, it’s another sword).

Sofia and Dale get married the first spring they officially live at Manhattan castle, in the castle gardens and live as trusted advisors and confidantes to the king and queen and later to the two kings when Pete ascends the throne with Cody at his side. Even though the king and queen of Staten Island weren’t happy with the result, they did give their blessing to the pair to get wed, realising that Sofia would marry Dale no matter what the king and queen had to say about it. 

Two years later, they welcome their first baby girl into the world. Catherine Lee grows up to be just as fiery as her mother and as loving as her father, and she has Pete and Cody wrapped around her little finger, they get her the most wonderful gifts and things as if she was their own.

While neither Pete nor Sofia could have predicted what would happen that one fateful afternoon, both of them wouldn’t have traded any of it for anything else. 

[foreverpining]

Backstory (10th Grade Part 1 [I'm sorry there's a lot this year])

So summer came and we spent quite a bit of that together as well. They even went to one of my therapy appointments with me and met my therapist. At this point things were starting to get a little more heated between us. They'd lost their virginity already although I had not. We came really close a couple times that summer at my aunt's house while everyone was busy, in my room when they'd got there but my mom didn't know yet to keep an eye on us. School came again and as always it comes with struggles. None so much as 9th grade brought our friendship tho. We'd sit in the afternoons after school discussing the future how we'd move out and get an apartment together as soon as we could. We even with the ever growing closer act of sexuality discussed possibilities for if a certain surprise were to happen even tho I was on birth control. We spent their birthday on the couch in the living room of my parents house I had made them cookies to take home as a birthday present. Just a few days later he was back over for Halloween but our planned event was cut short by my existential crisis about growing older so we decided instead to go trick or treating one final time. It was the last time I trick or treated and I'd honestly go so far as to say my favorite we wondered through neighborhoods going house to house until it was far too late and everyone was out of candy. They had braces so when we got back to my house to trade candy till their dad got there they ended up giving me pretty much everything they got and left with a left chocolate candies at my insistence. We at least one day together every week that whole year leading up to the big event of 2018 Christmas. The Christmas I'll never forget. We discussed it and both of our families celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve so we decided we could spend the day together. Now I haven't actually noted this yet but a big barrier of us making it to third base was my mom was a helicopter mom and she was constantly checking in on every few minutes. Well she had agreed to my bestie spending Christmas with us rather far in advance but when the day actually came she ended up being sick. Since she'd already agreed she still let my bestie come over. When they got there the first thing we did was I excited gave them their presents. A T-Shirt from the show The Flash off the CW and a little Iron Man plush, because my bestie really loves comics. Actually side note years ago around this time they made a tumblr and most of what they posted on it was shower thoughts and Batman AUs. Back to the story my bestie didn't really have money to get me anything so they'd written me a note that I actually lost sadly so I can't show you but it was really sweet and gave me like a dollar and some change which I ended up taking to the dollar tree and buying a little teddy bear and told them that would be their gift to me. I let them name it and they named her Aurora. So we were sitting in there after that completely unsupervised and one thing lead to another and we went all the way on that fateful Christmas day. After we finished we cuddled on the couch ate some leftover Christmas foods from my family's celebration the day before. Then their dad got there to pick them up I expressed to them I was really sad for them to leave and since they'd changed into the shirt I'd gifted them they gave me the one they had came to my house wearing that day. I have taken that shirt to psych wards because it feels like it gives this comfort only their energy does. After that the rest of winter break seemed to fly by but something felt off. It felt like my bestie was trying to distance their self from me. I didn't think too much of it cause we would have a class together the next semester of school. Sadly my dear reader I do have to tell you this is where our story takes a dark path for a while, from the other side I will tell you it becomes lighter with time. Sorry have to make pt 2 10th grade was a lot.

[xoxorhiannon]

"so tell us about him. c'mon" Gavin whined while he's tugging my shirt.

i sat down with them on the floor, it was 3 in the afternoon i could feel the afternoon sun gracing my face. the kids at the kindergarten where I was doing my part time job were so eager to get to know the man in my stories i would often tell them.

"please, ate wybee, what's he like?"

I smiled into a memory.

"well, he was kind. caring. thoughtful. respectful. and he likes to tell dad jokes, most of them are really corny." i can't help but roll my eyes and smile while remembering everything about him.

"he puts everyone first before him. he'd always be there anytime you need him. he.. he makes time for you." I paused, letting the memories wash over me.

"he's like a darker shade of red. the kind of red that leaves a stain on your shirt." I sniffed.

"like a ruby red?" Bella asked, inching closer to me.

"Yeah. A ruby. His presence is as deep as a ruby. when he's around, you just feel like you're safe. like nothing bad would ever happen." I stared down on my ankles, taking quick little breaths as I struggled to keep myself from crying in front of their innocence.

"so like any super heroes?" one of the kids asked eagerly.

I laughed at the thought because actually, he was. to me. i lost count of how many times he managed to save me from my thoughts and silence. i lost count of how many times he tried to make me happy on days that i am not.

"yeah, in a way."

"well, do you still talk to him? can we meet him?" I shook my head slowly as I try to find the exact words on how to tell them that no, they will never meet him. that no, i haven't heard anything about him anymore. that no, i'm not seeing him anymore. that no, we don't talk anymore.

I try to choke back the lamp on my throat as I struggle to find the words to tell them, that it was my fault why they'll never have the chance to meet him. that it was me who asked him to walk away. that it was me, who decided it would be best if don't speak to each other ever again. that it was me, who regret everything that have been said and done.

but a single tear have managed to escape my eyes as I told them no.

"but why?" Clarisse asked, getting curious and frustrated at the same time.

"I understand you want to meet him, I do too. I want to see him again, too." I composed myself and blinked rapidly to brush away the sting in my eyes caused by some salt air.

"let's just say that He and I, are now both busy with what we wanted to do in life as grown ups. because you know, when you grow up, a lot of inevitable things happen in life. and those are things you have no control of. they just happen, and you just let them happen."

"but didn't you tell us before that If you want something to happen in life, you make it happen? you said you want to meet him too." Gavin asked, locking his gaze in my eyes, innocence pooling in his iris.

I smiled hearing the words that I used to hold on to.

"but we don't know if he wants to meet me anymore, kid. just because I wanted to, doesn't mean I can just do it."

I stood up and started cleaning up the room. the kids went back to playing. while i am piling up the books in the counter, i felt a tug on my shirt. I turned around and it was Peter.

"Yes, Pete?"

"ate wybee, my Mom told me that sometimes we only think that our old friends don't want to see us anymore is because we are scared to face the changes that took place in between those times that we haven't seen each other."

I stared at Peter as he went back to his friends to play. I sat there letting his words sink in my bones, lost in words, forever haunted by a realization.

maybe i am. maybe i am scared of confronting the reality that took place overtime. maybe i am just scared that when we meet, we won't be able to pick up where we left off.

maybe i am scared to see that he managed to move on, and it was me who got stuck in memories all along.

maybe i am terrified that he's no longer there, the moment i reach out again.

- the rubies that i gave up, 2024.