#but my brain is feeling better and i feel c r e a t i v i t y re-emerging

[being-addie]

Morning Routines

We're all looking at those Instagram influencers who somehow manage to wake up at 5 am, do meditation, journal, do a 15-step Korean skincare routine, and go to the gym. And then they make a green smoothie and avocado toast, get dressed in a Chanel outfit and then sit at their fancy desk with a vanilla latte and a croissant.

This is not realistic. You probably already know that, but it likely won't stop you from trying to change your routine bit by bit to look a little like theirs. That didn't stop me, at least.

But now I've come to realise that no matter how much I try, I'll never be able to have a routine like the ones I see online. Because it doesn't exist. It's all curated for aesthetic appeal and generates a sense of false productivity in the watcher's brain. We feel motivated looking at those videos and never get around to changing our own life because we're too busy living vicariously through our phones.

Here's some things you should add to your morning routine, not to be fancy, but to feel better. This is coming from someone who's tried the unrealistic routines, and I now incorporate all of these into my routine. You can skip or add things according to your schedule.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H: Do your body a favour and loosen up your muscles. Nothing better than having a good stretch that wakes your body up.

Drink water: Before you put anything in your system, drink water. Not coffee, not tea. Plain warm water. And I don't mean lemon water. Some people might not agree, but lemon water strips your teeth of the enamel. It also is acidic, so all that bullshit they talk about it being "alkaline and pH balancing" is nonsense. Warm water is the way to go.

Make your bed: A clean bed should be the first thing you do after you wake up. At the end of the day, you'll thank yourself because it will be clean, and fresh and you can fall into bed immediately.

Hygiene: Wash your face to get rid of crusty eyes and sleep. Do a basic skincare routine (cleanser, moisturizer) so you'll feel fresher. Brush your teeth and hair.

Move your body: It doesn't matter what you do, even if it's for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, do a Zumba workout, or squeeze in a HIIT session. You can find lots of tutorials on YouTube (Caroline Girvan, growingannanas, Chloe Ting). Either way, working out will help you feel more motivated and happier. It's the endorphins.

Clean yourself: Set aside some time for showering, slathering on lotion, and doing your (real) skincare and makeup routine. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Eat something: ALWAYS make some food. Your body has been famished for hours on end, give it some fuel. Make a healthy breakfast, or prep one the night before. If you don't get very hungry in the mornings, have a banana, and pack a mid-morning snack beforehand so you don't reach for chips.

Do 3 things: Make a to-do list of everything you need to do today. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then, knock off 3 easy tasks from the list that you can do quickly. You'll be filled with a sense of motivation, and it'll be easier for you to complete your list. It can be chores, it could be some assigned reading. Just get it done.

Gratitude or prayer: You don't need to sit for 15 minutes to practice gratitude. You can think of things your thankful for on the way to school or work or practice deep breathing/say a small prayer on the subway or bus. You don't HAVE to do it, but it definitely makes you realise how much you have in life and appreciate it more.

Kindness: Start your day with kindness. Compliment your barista, smile at the old lady on the street, pet the stray cat. There's so much love in the world, and you have so much love inside you, and it's beautiful to be a part of it.

No longer will I be stuck in a rut. I cannot be confined to being a bitter, unhealthy person when I know there's a smiling, healthy, happy version of me in the future. Deep breaths. You'll get there babe.

<3

[elysianightsss]

Limerence | Two

C H A P T E R T W O

limerence / lim-ê-rêns / (noun)

“Obsessive romantic attraction towards another person”

Summary: In which the owners of Jujutsu Incorporated, the Ôgami brothers, are suddenly interested in you.

Pairing: Alpha!Sukuna x reader, Alpha!Itadori x reader, Alpha!Gojo x reader, Alpha!Geto x reader, Alpha!Nanami x reader, Alpha!Kenjaku x reader

Status: Ongoing.

Genre: werewolf au, soulmate, polyamory relationship, angst, fluff, omegaverse, a/b/o dynamics.

Warnings: smut, violence, mentions of knotting, heats, ruts, insecurities, some descriptions of reader’s body, mention of possible ED, omegaspace, domdrop, swearing, blood, depression, suicidal thoughts, possessiveness, obsessive thoughts, Alpha tendencies.

Chapter Warnings: reader described as worryingly thin, Sukuna is mad, Kento is feral. Omegaspace, swearing, Sukuna being kicked in the nuts, self deprecation.

Masterlist | Chapter one | Chapter three

Taglist: @better-imagination-9 @tiredjuniper @jjkz @honeybeeboobaa @cherryblossomdelusion @dependsonthedream @alluresenses @qardasngan @imcamboaf @ondragonhonour

Taglist is open.

————————————————————————

Previously on Limerence:

You stumbled over every question, your hands shook as you wrote down his answers. You weren’t scared just so incredibly nervous, no one had ever made you feel this way before. Sukuna asked you if you had anymore questions, all you longed to ask was if his heart was beating as fast as yours but you were too afraid to hear the answer.

“N-No I don’t,” You stuttered, “that was the last one.” You looked relieved but he looked disappointed. Quickly you stood, bowed to him and rushed out of the room, you were basically jogging to get back to your office when you felt a strong hand on your shoulder spin you around, he pulled you in close, you began to tremble all over. You felt his warm breath against your lips, red eyes staring at yours intensely.

“T-This is highly inappropriate.” You tried to look anywhere but his beautiful eyes as he spoke.

“Maybe for regular people.” He nodded in agreement, then his voice took on a deeper octave, “But certainly not for my mate.”

-

“So? What was she like?” Yuji asked his twin with curiosity sparkling in his wide eyes, his breath uneven as he waited impatiently to hear about his mysterious mate. Sukuna had headed straight back to Jujutsu Incorporated headquarters after you had kicked him straight in the balls and ran like hell.

He was definitely humiliated as he lay on the ground groaning in pain, however once the pain had dissipated he was up on his feet but by then it was too late. You were gone, even your scent was disappearing too quickly for him to track.

“She was so fucking gorgeous..” he pauses because it seems too weak of a compliment to describe you, though by looking around at his brothers he could tell that they already knew that, so he continued.

“She was worryingly thin, unbearably self conscious, anxious, dangerously overtired and dehydrated.” Sukuna answered, his body vibrating with anger. He was mesmerised by you, how you managed to get the jump on him was astounding. But by the looks of you, how you managed to even be standing was astounding.

Kento cleared his throat, his body stiff making ridged movements as he tried to control himself. His mate wasn’t taking care of herself, that was his job and he was failing before he’d even had a chance to begin. Possessive and protective thoughts ran through his wired brain igniting a primal part of himself he had long thought dormant. His eyes glazed over, slowly fading to obsidian, his entire being cementing itself like a statue.

“Umm Kento?” Yuji bit his lip in worry as he examined his pack leader, he himself was worried for his mate but he knew his older brother took things to an extreme level when it came to worrying. And that was with his brothers, he can only imagine how Kento was feeling considering it’s their mate.

All six brothers felt the mate bond snap into place through their brother bond, each of them felt how Sukuna did when meeting you. Like their entire world had just become complete, like everything had fallen into place.

You on the other hand felt like you were drowning, like someone had you by the leg pulling you deeper and further down to the depths. How were you supposed to be someone’s mate, and not just anyone’s. Sukuna Ôgami one of the six most reputable brothers who essentially saved the world.

You were not worthy enough, not reputable enough to be with one of them. How would he ever be okay with just you. You weren’t okay with just you.

You had raced back home only look back when you got to your apartment building, your frantic eyes flitting about to see if you could spot him in the street, while panic clawed its way up your body causing a shiver to rack down your spine.

Everything was so overwhelming and too much stimulation, today had not been what you had expected and certainly not what you had wanted with the little sleep and no food, adding in the stressful morning.

You were practically being pulled into a stupor as you let yourself fall onto your bed. Your only safe space. You had slumped into a state of torpor from which nothing could rouse you, but that was okay if you had to let yourself fall into the depths of your blank mind for a few moments peace, you’d do that.

Sukuna could feel it, a haziness falling over him like a sweet cloud making him feel all warm and fuzzy. These weren’t his feelings there were yours and if he were to find you right now he bet his life he’d find you in omegaspace. Snuggled up in your nest looking all cute and small as you waited for you Alphas to soothe you, to make things better.

That was just the problem. He couldn’t find you, he didn’t know where you were. It seemed that Satoru had the exact same thought. “She works for Panda right? Let’s get her information from Mr. Panda then.” There was a sternness to his voice, his veiny large hand pushing through the white strands on his head, the hand itched to grab hold of a chunk and yank in frustration. But he let it fall back down to the table and scrunch in a fist instead.

“Fucking idiot.” Sukuna cursed under his breath because that’s what he was. He should’ve stuck around and got your information from your workplace. God he truly was an idiot.

“I’ll do it.” Kento was almost robotic as he moved from his seat at the table to his desk. He grabbed Mr.Panda’s personal contact number and pressed call after urgently punching in his number. Phone to his ear, he swallowed away the tension rising and trying to get the better of him as the phone rang one too many times before his friend answered.

He rushed out his words, stumbling over them as he pressed the issue at hand. You were his mate and he required your address, phone number, bank details anything the man could give him. He’d take it.

Kento listened to him talk and wrote down all the information with haste, his fancy fountain pen scratching on the paper irritatingly. The pack Alpha could feel stress start to pour into his body, swirling around him in a way that had his shoulders tense and his brows furrowed. Pushing some of his blonde hair out of his face he thanked his friend and hung up the phone.

He could feel the stares from his brothers, he knew this next part would be tricky but it also had to be done. “Only one of us should go.” Kento said, with a look saying it should be him. Instantly the rest of the pack argued with frowns before Sukuna but in.

“It should be me. She already met me, she might feel a little more at ease.” Sukuna wrung his hands together, he wanted desperately to see you again. He could feel you still in your fluffy cloud of softness, and fuck if he wasn’t itching to see you in your nest, to join you.

“He has a point actually.” Kenjaku voices his opinion, “This isn’t about what we want;” he cuts off Yuji who was about to complain, “this is about what’s going to be comfortable for her. After all our mate’s comfort is what’s most important here. Right?” He raises his eyebrow daring someone to question him. It’s times like these that Kento knows if he wasn’t born pack Alpha, Kenjaku would have been.

“Right.” Everyone in the room agrees.

“Then it’s settled. Only Sukuna will go collect our mate.”

-

A loud thump pulls you from your stupor yet there is an echo of it that tries to lull you back into the darkness. You try to let yourself sink back into the haze but the loud thumping persists pulling you out of the safety of your nest. Even in your current haziness your heart ricochets in your chest when you open the door to find two large men staring down at you.

You recognise Sukuna instantly, it’s hard not to. But the other man, though he seems familiar, is a stranger to you.

“Hello bunny.” Sukuna’s word have your breath hitching in your throat. His entire presence seems to put your body at ease, a rather big contrast to his darker aura. It almost pushes you back into your haziness, further down the deep rabbit hole you’re now desperate to climb out of.

“This is my brother Kenjaku.” He says it so casually like you’re familiar with one another, like you’re in a conversation and had happened to ask. Yet in reality, this large pink haired man stood in your doorframe taking up all of the space and his brother stood behind him, brown eyes never leaving you even for a second, are both uninvited guests.

Though Kenjaku wasn’t even supposed to be there, he’d followed his brother and popped out of the shadows just before Sukuna was about to knock on your door. “What happened to just me?” Sukuna scoffed at his brother who simply shrugged his shoulders and rapped his knuckles against your door.

“Hello Princess.” The corner of his lip turn up, only on one side. It looks like he doesn’t know how to smile, the thought almost makes you sad. Almost.

“Why…w-whys yer here?” You try so hard to not stumble over your words but fail miserably while giving your tired eyes a rub. It makes both men coo at you, it’s not condescending yet somehow feels as though it is in your daze. So you pout, annoyed that they have simply come to mock you. The more awake and stoic part of you wishes that you were coherent for this conversation.

“For our mate of course.” Sukuna smiles cheekily stepping forward, catching you when you step back only to fall. His words startle, have you looking back up to where his eyes stare back into yours. The fall and fact your back in his arms doesn’t compute, you’re too busy with the other thing.

“Our?” You swallowed hard, the word heavy on your tongue, leaving a weird taste in your mouth.

“Yes bunny. Ours. Me, Kenjaku and our brothers.” Sukuna confirmed with a sharp nod, helping you stand steady on your feet but the room kept spinning. You stumbled away from the door towards your big grey couch, you dropped down on it lumberingly, fingers sinking into the soft blanket gracing it.

You felt as though a bucket of ice water had been dumped on you at the realisation that not only was Sukuna Ôgami your mate but so were his five brothers. You could barely come to terms with the fact that one of them was your mate let alone six of them.

“S-Six of y-you.” You were breathless as you tried to come to terms with it. Sukuna and Kenjaku looked at each other, worry sparkling in their eyes even when they fixed their expressions.

“I realise this is alot to take in.” Kenjaku spoke softly, it had Sukuna’s eyes animatedly popping out his head. His brother had a soft side to him? Since-uh-when. Kenjaku was trying to keep his wolf at bay, his control not as strong as Sukuna’s or Kento’s. He didn’t understand why you weren’t happy about having six Alphas to take care of you.

But he was doing his best to soothe you in the way his wolf was telling him to. It is too much for pretty mate. This had Kenjaku’s eyes flashing black for second, why was it too much?

“I can’t do this!” You screeched hands gripping at your hair in frustration, “why would I of all people be gifted six alphas?!” You cried desperately wanting to know the answer. Gifted. He guesses that’s a good sign, at least you thought of a mate as a gift rather than a curse.

You blink up at both men and realise, your living room has never looked so small, they take up so much space. With just two of them the place is tiny, how’s it going to look with six of them? Your mind bounces around, worry still present and spinning you into a tizzy, yet you practically preen when Kenjaku’s eyes travel over you like he can see underneath your clothes. It makes a tense feeling in the pit of your stomach start to form, a feeling you’re not familiar with.

You suddenly wanted to be wrapped in their strong arms, you note that they both look like the warriors the news makes them out to be. Huge, brawny and very attractive. How were they yours? How were you worthy of this? And how were they going to ever love you when they find out what you did?

[boredgirl2004]

Part 2 of Day 2: The book

As I said the words aloud, nothing had happened, I was relieved but also a bit angry. The nightmare that scared every loving ⬧︎♒︎♓︎⧫︎ out of me, that asked me to open this stupid book and to find that nothing came of it?!!! I was angry that my mind was playing tricks on me, so I took my hand off the page and reached the book cover so I could close it. 

“What a waste of time!! First, the stupid dream asks me to open the book. I finally give in and open it only for there to be a warning from a guy who I don’t even know and instructions to summon whatever this ring is only for it to not do any-” I was immediately cut off from my hand being sucked back to the bloody handprint, the handprint, and red words emitted a bloody bright red glow, I left my blood being sucked out of my fingertips, I the pages in the book turning, they were quickly changing, from a burnt bloody page to a much cleaner and whiter one, immediately words began to appear, in all caps said the word “HAHA” over and over and over on the two pages, I immediately grabbed one of my books I had bought from Barnes and noble, only to be in shock to see that it had the same font and same words as repeated in the book of the bill. It was like those computer glitches, where the code would just repeat itself over and over after the system was hacked. Everything in the room began to shake until it began to float. Finally, one page of the book had the triangle figure appear, it pressed itself onto the page until it burst through. As it did, everything in my room slowly began to be set down. It began to speak.

“Well, well, well! Here we are at last!!! I’ve been waiting an ETERNITY to meet you, and I know you’ve been waiting nearly as long to meet me!!” I stood there in shock that the book or thing or whatever this was was talking to me! This couldn’t be real, it can’t be and how could it be?!

“Breath it in a second pal-this moment of anticipation! You always suspected this day would come, and it finally has! Your life will forever be divided into two halves: before you met me and AFTER. Welcome to the after!” It continued as I looked at it and began to stutter, trying to find my words. I didn’t know what to say about this situation as a whole! I wasn’t sure how to react. This was all confusing and shocking. I knew Stanford, the man who warned me to not turn the page said to not believe a thing this book says but I didn’t know it would be this weird!!! 

The thing talked over me while my brain was crashing, trying to find something, some word to say about all of this. “You’re probably wondering, “Bill, you’re an all-powerful being. Why write a book, huh? Why let me read it? Also, aren’t you dead? Are you dead or what? What’s the deal?” I have no idea what you mean…”  the page had turned on its own to reveal a dark silhouette of the triangle being. Its eye is emitting a glitchy, yellow and red hue as its mouth opens to reveal its crooked teeth (Bill needs to see a dentist fr fr) 

“I’m….p e r f e c t l y…..f I n e”

Before I could finally speak and probably ask my question since from his tone, it seemed like whatever happened last time didn’t go so well. I was rudely interrupted yet again. 

“In fact, I'm better than fine, because might feel silo And there's a lot we can do together! Oh, you might feel silly about "meeting" me. After all, "Bill Cipher" is imaginary. You're real and I'm not, right?

BUT ARE YOU SO SURE ABOUT THAT?

After all, you're mortal. One day, you'll be dust. But I'm an idea. And an idea can't be killed. So that's me 1, you o on the immortality front! And if I'm the eternal one and you're the temporary one, THEN IT MIGHT BE WISE FOR YOU TO GET ON THE WINNING SIDE EARLY, YOU DIG?

I know that drama queen Sixer warned you not to read this book, didn't he? Maybe the old nerd is right! Weak minds have gone crazy from just ONE glimpse at my TANTALIZING FORBIDDEN SECRETS! (Sees the hickory-smoked crater where

McGucket's brain used to be!)

But if you're as sharp as I think you are ... and if you're curious about the meaning of life, how to cheat death, Pine Tree's most embarrassing dreams, and your own interesting future, then I'll consider making a deal with you. How about a trade? I'll let you read my book in exchange for a favor down the line. We can work out the details later. What do you say?

TAKE BILL'S DEAD

YES?

TURN THE PAGE

No?

TURN TO PAGE 77”

I hesitated to turn the page, I slowly began to think about my choice. There were many cons to this, from what the guy wrote in the previous pages, he expressed how much meeting bill would be a regret for those who continue with turning the pages in this book; I don’t even know what Bill could do to me from just turning the pages in this book. What if I’m walking into a trap? What if there is more to this than what he’s letting on? What if-

“Ah, look at you, all tangled up in your own thoughts. Overthinking is such a waste of time! You’re so close to getting everything you desire, but you’re letting doubt hold you back. Come on, what’s the point of hesitation? Life’s too short for that kind of nonsense. Just turn the page, and I promise you—things will get a lot more interesting. And if you keep dithering, well, I might just start making decisions for you. So, what’s it gonna be? Ready to embrace a little chaos and get what you really want?” I looked down at the page to see Bill was in a sitting position, his leg crossed over the other and his expression expressed how bored and impatient he was from me thinking my choices. I was worried about how he could be speaking to me like this when he’s in  a book, this isn’t possible it just- isn’t-

 “Your hesitation is almost charming, but it’s getting a bit tiresome, don’t you think? Besides, if you’re worried about the logistics of me being here, maybe you should focus more on the opportunities I’m offering instead of waddling over what’s right. Overthinking won’t get you anywhere, dollface. So, why not stop doubting and start acting? The more you dawdle, the more interesting things will get when you finally make a choice.” He said with a mixture of smugness and amusement as he stared at me from the page. I sigh and remember my task. Find a way to destroy the book from the inside out, focus on not believing what he says, even if it’s too good, I kept repeating the same sentence in my head over and over as my confidence began building itself up as I reached the page. Still, I pause as I look at Bill and begin to speak. 

“If you’re are this bill-person that this guy Stanford Pines warned me about, how can I trust you despite the warnings in the previous pages he wrote before? What is something you could say that’ll convince me that I shouldn’t just close this book and leave it in my room, never to be opened again?” I waited for the bill's response, which didn’t take long, and had no thought. 

"Oh, come on now! Sixer was always so serious, wasn’t he? Just a big bundle of paranoia and charts. But listen to me: I’m not here to cause trouble—well, not just trouble. I’m here to offer you a chance for a bit of fun, a touch of excitement, and maybe a sprinkle of chaos. What’s life without a little unpredictability, right? Close the book and you miss out on all the cosmic shenanigans I have in store. Open it, and you might just find yourself in a whirlwind of adventure. I’m all about making things interesting and trust me, you don’t want to miss what comes next. So, are you in, or are you going to play it safe and dull? Your choice!" He said in a calming tone. 

It wasn’t enough to convince me. I sighed and began to speak once more but this time I was faking my boredom. “Not convincing enough. Well Bill, it was nice meeting you even though it didn’t last very long but hey, this is my imagination just like you said right?” I say as I slowly begin to close the book. Bill responded with a slight stutter but he quickly covered it up with his nonchalance, “Oh, come on now, don't be so hasty! You’re not going to shut me out, are you? I mean, who knows what you might be missing? I wouldn’t want you to close the book before you've had the chance to experience everything I have to offer. After all, isn’t that the fun part of imagination—exploring the unknown? Give it a little more time. What’s a little more curiosity going to hurt?” I paused, the book was nearly closed but I  slowly opened it back up. There was nothing but silence from both of us for a while until I turned the page. Bill's attitude changed immediately. 

“Right choice, bone sack! Welcome to the Book of…” The page was now a biblical book cover of the Book Of Bill, Bill continued “No, no! That won’t do! Do you call that a cover? What is this, amateur hour? I can do better than that!” As Bill stared at the cover, I replied “Well, I don’t see you as a professional, Maybe try something more….You?” I said a bit awkwardly. Bill looked at me nodded in agreement and turned his back to me as he snapped his fingers, the next page had turned by itself, revealing four different covers. The first had a realistic appearance, it was in the middle of a farm, a storm right above it, and the clouds emitted lighting that took the shape of Bill. “Too basic!” He snapped his fingers again to reveal a book that reminded me of those horror books of goosebumps made for kids back in the 80s, I think they also made a show about it but that was years ago. “Too nostalgic.” He snapped once more to reveal a cover that I would see here, too many Bibles that had Jesus or god descending from heaven and floated above the person praying to one of them. “Too preachy.” He said out of boredom as he snapped again. I could hear a saxophone playing sexy music, it revealed a buff Bill Cipher holding a woman, they were in a field, their hairs blowing in the wind. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the cover. “Too ravishing!” I wiped my tears and tried to control my laughter. 

“You think?” I said as I laughed once more as I wheezed out that Bill doesn’t even have hair or a human-like body. It looked so wrong to me but that’s what made it funny. Finally, Bill settled on a cover, It reminded me of someone on their computer trying to make the title and using as little effort to make it until they settled with Bill being tapped to the cover, misscapitalized and misspelled words, a tab saying “Good job Bill” with some emojis and a menu from right-clicking the picture. “There we go! Perfect! The crowd LOVES it!” I smiled and looked at him. “I bet they love it. It shows the author more than ever!” I say jokingly even though it was like a kid was in charge of making this cover. I see a bloody fingerprint at the right bottom corner of the page that says “Put thumb here”. The fingerprint had veins on the side of it causing me to be a bit concerned. “With that all out of the way, all this book needs is some ink! Hey, can I borrow some of your blood? Just press your thumb here, and I’ll absorb some right into the page! You won’t even notice it's gone!” I hesitated until I gained confidence and gently pressed my thumb on the bottom corner of the page, I felt a sharp pain on my thumb as if my thumb was being pricked and the blood was slowly leaving it. I tried to pull it off only for more blood to be sucked out of it. I kept trying to remove my thumb from the page, it was stuck there after a few pulls but after the fourth time, the book at finally let my thumb go.

Note: Hiiii, sorry for taking so long. Busy with life but anyway! I wanted to have Bill be more interactive so I tried my best trying to imitate the character the best I could.

[unfunnyaceartist]

I’m bored, so… more writing. Carnival Jax bc why tf not. Also I’m keeping sweats, because fuck that, I’m too tired to censor them

Somewhat horror at beginning, and Suggestive (I mean it’s carnival Jax so y’all should’ve expected it/hj)

——

God damnit. God damnit. This place is so hard to get around, it doesn’t help that the crazed rabbit has a timer for your demise set in the background, the soft ticking didn’t help with your unease. Just stay alive. Just stay alive— how the hell would you do that when a character with fucking CARTOON PHYSICS is chasing you around??

You had to stop yourself from murmuring this whole time, you wanted to cuss out yourself or just the whole level, but you knew making noise would only, most likely, draw him to you sooner. You were snapped out of your thoughts as you bumped into something in the little hallway you were in, the case on top of the little wooden desk falling to the groin with a crash— why is there a vase in this level?! What would he even use that for?! It was just a noisemaker, that was the entire point of it being there, such as in other games…

You fell along with the vase, almost tripping over the desk itself. Great, great, now you were just on the floor and bleeding-… wait… no. This isn’t your own blood… you didn’t pay much attention to how the floor looked before, to busy trying not to die, in messy letters, his own name, ‘JAX’ had been written all over the floor. Oh god and some of this was blood that isn’t even dry yet, that means he killed someone recently. That is not helpful for your slim hope at survival.

You suddenly see text appear in front of you

‘Y O U G O T C A U G H T !’

It took a moment to process, your body started shaking slightly with fear as you looked back and saw him just standing there. Oh god he looked fucking insane.

“You players are all talk. Bullshit.” Jax scoffed, he hated these humans… selfish. “Hehe… hehehe… HAHAHA!”

He started laughing like a maniac, you could only feel yourself trembling in fear, was he just taunting you? Did he really have that much spite to make your last moments only be full of his mockery? It seemed so.

“ L E T S S E E I F Y O U B L E E D O U T F A S T E R T H A N T H E O T H E R S !”

He held his mallet over his head, you would’ve laughed at how comically large it was, if he wasn’t about to bash your brains out with it. You panicked and just desperately tried to crawl back, it seemed to amuse him “J-Jax! Jax please..!” You pleaded, it was a bit pathetic, in all honesty, but, Jax paused, for another reason, as he watched you shake and plead pathetically.

“…What did you say?”

You slowly uncovered your face, which you had covered out of instinct before, “That’s… T-That’s your name, right…? Jax…?”

Jax usually would’ve killed you, but… he didn’t feel like it now. Someone was saying his name… and they looked pathetic when doing it. It kind made him feel better to see a player of all people, shaking and pleading to him. “..Say it again.”

“Uh- okay… Jax.” You were very confused on what this all meant…

Jax slowly approached you, who was still on the ground and shaking, he knelt down to look you in the eyes, he roughly grabbed you by the hair, “…Hm..” he made a little hum, as if contemplating what to do with you. He gave your hair a soft tug backwards, to which you let out a soft whimper.

Jax’s confused and thinking expression from before, slowly turned into a smirk, oh he knew just what to do. You seemed so.. obedient. Heh, willing to do whatever he said to survive. Maybe he’s okay with you for a bit, definitely in more ways than one. “Oho, I have a fun game in mind that ensures neither of us will forget my name, ever.”

You gulped, not sure if this was positive, or not, you knew it probably wasn’t.

Jax tugged your hair roughly again and pressed a rough kiss to your lips, you immediately went red, you didn’t expect that. You can’t help the soft flustered noise that escaped you. He pinned you down against the ground, him above you, and you were under him… all defenseless. You felt his free hand softly grip your thigh.

After what felt like forever, Jax finally ended the kiss, you were a bit of a trembling mess, with how sudden and passionate this all was “W..What was that f-“

“Sshhh… be a good girl, and you’ll get a treat..~” Jax purred softly, his hot breath ticking the back of your neck. Oh god he was terrifying, but also hot, fucking not, and you were overwhelmed with the fact that he kissed you too, oh god he kissed you. He called you a good girl… a good girl. Oh even if you wanted to escape right now, you couldn’t deny that being called a good girl made you a little more hot under the collar.

Jax nuzzled his face into your neck, you were about to question it internally, until you felt a deep bite, “J-Jax~!” you gasped, oh good, fuck… fuck that was hit. Did he just bite you? Oh god…

“Mmh, thought so..” he purred to himself, oh he sure was right, you’d definitely scream for him tonight.

Jax roughly licked the blood from the deep mark he made, he purred seductively, “You’re never going to forget my name when I’m done with you…~”

Your body trembled in his grasp, oh the anticipating and what he’d already done, was killing you. Yay by looking at his face, you could tell he wanted much more than just to kiss and bite you to make you say his name, your face flushed at the though, she tried a bit to wriggle out from under his grasp, he pinned you down into the ground rougher, his insane personality was still there as he teased, “Aw, my little human doesn’t know how to behave themselves. I need to teach you some manners, toy… I’ll make you a good girl for master~”

“A very good… obedient girl for me…~” he growled lustfully, his free hand already exploring your body, and oh you wanted to let him, you wanted to just sit there and say his name all day.. unknown to you, you’ll be screaming it for the rest of the day, instead~

——

I love sleep writing, so it all the time lol

A- VSMJ<WEK<TU$JE

[messy-jin]

Resident InSomnia here!

The post came out much sooner than I expected! How nice! :D

It is crazy how they all fit so well?? You have a great eye for that! I was trying to think of some songs myself, but the inspiration did not hit TT

As for my favorite parts of the post!

Black Or White for William is P E R F E C T. I love especially the "I don't have the answer you want /already set" (? because he is DEFINITELY not following the usual standard (answer c:) for what's wrong or right.

I hadn't thought of that, but Odd Eye for Alfons just seems right. After all, it is about a utopia that does not exist. All the sweet lies and the illusion of a perfect place... again, it just seems right.

OOTD with the "drunken everyday" line– I did NOT expect that, but I LOVE it. I don't know much about Roger, but that fits, and it really made my day jsjjsjs.

Fly High is literally one of my TOP songs from Dreamcatcher. That's why I cannot believe I did not think of how much it fits Ellis??? Everything from the pretty-yet-unsettling vibe, all of the forever / no escape lines, (and the dreaming theme?? I also play in ENG, so there's no route yet, but his curse is certainly related to that). What shocked me the most is how accurate the "if only I could stop time" line is. He has said it so many times, it's literally HIS line (and it's in his JP trailer + the happiest moment thing), so h o w did I not think of that???? It's just brilliant, I love it.

Lastly, Kate! I legit laughed at the "oh, where are you now?" from Mayday, since it really is that way lol (at least until now :^). And with Breaking Out, it would have truly fit better if in the song, the girls had embraced the nightmare instead of escaping it, but that's not what Dreamcatcher's storyline is about lol.

(not talking much Elbert since I already did, but the Medusa theme in Shatter relating to him like that is really sad ;-;)

Thanks for reading all this rant of mine lol. I just really love Dreamcatcher and their music, and I have enjoyed IkeVil so far, especially since I have always loved all that's fairytale-themed (that's why I also play TWST jsjjsjsjsjs).

Hope you have a lovely day or night, and if you are down for it, I'd absolutely love to see more Dreamcatcher related posts!! :D

My dear Resident InSomnia, hello! How are you?

I'm really happy you liked it! I was... Quite inspired. Honestly, I started to write down some notes shortly after the BEcause post and once I was started, I could not stop. Some came naturally, some were more complicated (once again, I struggled with Roger, which is accurate with how I have mixed feelings about him ^^").

Happy that they were all mostly accurate. I guess all of my years doing that with Disney songs payed off!

The big brain energy hit me for William. And I'm glad you found the other songs fitting. I HAD to put Fly High, this underrated bop, and I'm happy I was able to use it for Ellis who is one of my faves (hoping his route will not unsettle me as much as Elbert's did). And I'm happy that my little silly additions made you laugh :D (I also hurt myself with the angst of Shatter for Elbie)

Thank you for sharing your point of view about this and for reading my own rant about Dreamcatcher songs ! My love for this group is infinite.

Oh, you play Twisted Wonderland too? I see you're a person of culture. Same, fairytale themed games for the win!

I'm hesitating over if I should do a Dreamcatcher's songs post but with Ikemen Prince, next time (since I had the idea of Propose for Gilbert). I'll see if I have other ideas popping up on the way. Who knows?

Thank you. I hope you have a great day or night! Don't forget to have a good rest and to stay hydrated!

[penname-artist]

It’s kind of hard to find any good source materials that I can pluck from in regards to discussing the “yays and nays” of writing convincing PTSD, but I’m gonna take the knowledge I do have - both from my experiences and from everything I’ve picked up and learned around that - and just leave a few key points lying around like crumbs for y’all. Mostly made with writing trauma in mind:

-Though there are exceptions, for the most part, your sex and horomones may determine how you respond to stress and trauma. Higher testosterone makes it much more likely to react to trauma in a more “stereotypical” way, fighting back with aggression, deflecting, sometimes turning to addictions as means of an escape. Some of that comes from toxic masculinity, but some of it is just from having less natural emotional depth or a harder time venturing that emotional depth. (In summary: men put off therapy. A lot.)

-Meanwhile, more estrogen-based people will more often feel the emotional wringing of depression or fear, and actually become more vulnerable to getting in toxic situations. When you’re at a low point, it may be difficult to make clearer judgements, and seeking comfort for the sake of comfort might end up taking a toll like any other negative outlets. (Again with “there are exceptions” because not everybody responds in these ways, there’s definitely a uniqueness to the brain’s stress responses)

-For ye writing people, here’s some ideas on not-so-good outlets one might turn to when facing trauma: alcoholism, painkillers and substance abuse, anger outbursts (towards people or things equally), emotional outbursts, self-isolation (can be anything from leaving a virtual chat to locking ones self in a bathroom - both of which I have done, *ahem*), self-harm (note that this also includes restricting yourself from things such as food, water, communication, sleep, etc), co-dependency (ie looking for whoever will pay attention to them regardless of what that might do in the long run)

-And here’s some better ones: hobbies, games (particularly ones that require focus), physical exercise, basic self-care (look we all should be taking care of ourselves anyways but lots of us just don’t so doing that actually really fucking helps. Dude sometimes a long hot bath and Epsom salt can just make me not want to unexist), m e d i c a t i o n,  t h e r a p y, positive social groups or support groups (not specifically a therapy support group, but any group that is supportive towards healing from things like PTSD), meditation- and/or just sitting with your fucking feelings and acknowledging it’s a THING

-PTSD is oftentimes this tree that grows from a root problem (this can be something like family trauma, war, assault, abuse, emotional neglect, loss, literally any situation which made the person feel helpless, physically OR emotionally) and that tree branches into various symptoms and side effects. Some of these are bigger and broader terms, like depression (feeling hopeless about ones self and life, often becoming so emotionally overrun that you’re just numb and don’t care anymore) or anxiety (sometimes social, sometimes situational, or both, or all)

-In other ways, side effects are very specific things that comes from the same source. These can (but do NOT always) include: nightmares, flashbacks, bodily tremors, tics, headaches, bowel issues, heart palpitations, and a broad category called psychosis (a big fancy word that means you sense something that is not actually there)

-On that psychosis thing, because lo and behold I fucking have that problem, it’s usually not as “real” as it’s made out to be. Even we question ourselves for the realness of it, which if anything kinda adds to the fear because sometimes you really don’t know. Anyways you can experience psychosis in a lot of ways, from hearing things to seeing types of hallucinations, to believing in the higher meaning of things around you and having types of delusions (I struggle with those the most). It can also vary in frequency. Some people see shadowy figures all the time at night. Some people hear stuff only once every blue moon. Often, they come in episodes that only last for a short period of time (hours to days)

-Another vague category is dissociation, a feeling of “spacing out” that might be kinda frequent and kinda freaky. People can dissociate in different ways so it’s a little harder to pinpoint how to feel, but to an outsider it really just looks like your brain did an Error 404 on you. Some people feel paralyzed and cannot move. Some people feel out of their own bodies. And some feel like the world around them doesn’t really exist. Whatever the case, this is closely tied to the flashbacks thing and it can really take you outside of the present moment. It’s easy to get lost.

-Trauma does not have to be around 100% of the time. Sometimes people can heal from trauma and almost function like normal again. But it may still always exist, and while manageable, some things like triggers (I want to cover those but I don’t have the time at the moment to) will still be hard to deal with and take time and gentleness to get through. Some people can overcome PTSD in months to years. Others overcome it in decades. Some never overcome it, but it gets manageable with time and taking the efforts to process and heal.

Okay that’s all I got time for this morning :’)

[guitarriffsolo]

❗️Stolas NSFW alphabet❗️

(This is actually my husband guys)

A - Aftercare

Usually he’s the one whining to be pampered after sex but once he has been well taken care of he will make sure to ask if you’re feeling okay as well. He will get you anything you need even if he’s exhausted

B - Body part

For him, he loves his long bird like legs and they way they fit so nicely over your shoulders <3. On you he loves your belly idk why I can just picture him giving so many tummy kisses and always holding onto your waist. He loves someone with a little pudge tbh

C - Cum

He wants you to cum everywhere on him. His face, his stomach his chest, anywhere you please he’ll gladly accept it.

D - Dom or Sub?

Hugeee sub and only sub. Most he’ll do is be a service top if you request so.

E - Experience

Not very experienced but watched plenty of porn and is always ready to jump into whatever. Really his only experience was Blitzø. The only time him and Stella fucked was when they needed to produce an heir.

F - Favorite position

He loves a good doggy style but will honestly be happy in whatever position you put him in. If he is playing a service top though he only wants missionary to not only watch you but to know that you are seeing him fall apart.

G - Goofy?

He will be a bit giddy at first but then he quickly settles down once his brain has been turned into subby little mush

H - Hair

Now that I think about it I don’t even think theres hair there. Like I think it’s just more feathers.

I - Intimacy

Very intimate and expects the exact same from you

J - Jack off

Would sometimes try to masturbate but is quickly disappointed realizing it’s very hard to make himself feel the way you make him feel and decides its best to let you take care of such things.

K - Kinks

Pretty much an open book to any sort of bdsm. But his favs are impact play, bondage, and sensory deprivation

L - Location

Bedroom pretty much is it. He loves to fantasize of a public quickie but he is still royalty and does still have an image to maintain.

M - Motivation

Very easily turned on. Touch his feathers the right way and he is rock hard begging to be fucked

N - NO

Again, a pretty open book but I truly cannot picture him being into any bathroom things. Maybe I’m biased cuz those are just my turn offs idk

O - Oral

Doesn’t have a huge preference between giving and receiving oral. He’s a flustered mess when receiving and very much squirming the entire time. He loves to see you face when giving oral and feels so proud he can make you feel good.

P - Pace

Loves it fast, rough, and hard but can never deny a slow sensual banging when he’s tuckered out from a bad day.

Q - Quickie

Thinks quickies are soo hot and loves them on days when he’s busy. Though they would never ever beat a full on scene.

R - Risk

Always game to try something new. He loves adding a spark and experimentation into the bedroom.

S - Stamina

Will last pretty much as long as you please. He gets whiny while being overstimulated but he loves it so much and will let you go as long as you please.

T - Toys

Loves all types of toys. Always finding toys you didn’t even know existed but he loves trying all sorts of tools to help that sexy spark.

U - Unfair

Too desperate to be a tease

V - Volume

Very loud, gags are very handy between you two. During sexy he makes lots of owl noises such as hoots and chirps that you find oh so adorable.”

W - Wild card

Can be whiny but not a huge brat because he tries his absolute best to be a super good boy for you. Though he will sometimes fail to suppress all his fussing if he’s being denied.

X - X-ray

His cock is an average length a tiny bit on the skinnier side. Uncut with a slight curve at the end.

Y - Yearning

Very high sex drive and libido. Like some constant fucking machine (I swear it’s concerning sometimes)

Z - Zzz

He tries to stay awake until he’s feeling a bit better. That way he can properly take care of you as well. He also gets a bit insecure afterwards sometimes so that can keep him up

[crossedwithblue]

I posted 17,452 times in 2022

That's 5,112 more posts than 2021!

214 posts created (1%)

17,238 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chaoticeddie

@ellynneversweet

@niimuue

@too-easily-obsessed

@derinthescarletpescatarian

I tagged 4,347 of my posts in 2022

#via shitposts - 202 posts

#frogs for liza - 197 posts

#if i had to see this then so do yall - 179 posts

#wwdits spoilers - 30 posts

#lmao - 29 posts

#omg - 20 posts

#i- - 16 posts

#:') - 16 posts

#gnu terry pratchett - 16 posts

#temeraire - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#im no expert but pls my lived experience is v e r y different to that of a black person in america and i wish americans would stop painting

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hmmmmm

interesting that my post on the cross-stitch subreddit about supporting the Etsy strike was removed... by a mod who is a very successful Etsy seller who is NOT participating in the strikes at all

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

(cross stitch peeps, i am tagging it as such in case anyone has insights, but please don't reblog, i really don't want drama. please do reblog the other posts you see about etsy strikes tho, and if you can think of some way to make it ~relevant~ for the subreddit, please do lmk and i'll try again)

idk im just like. our hobby seems so innocuous and harmless in every possible way but nothing exists in a sociopolitical vacuum and it's disingenuous to pretend that isn't the case. things that affect our small business owners are important to the entire community.

22 notes - Posted April 12, 2022

#4

everything everywhere all at once said "you'll push your kids to their breaking point for what you think is their own good but all you'll achieve is to push them away from you" and "no matter how hard you try to encircle them in traditional values and concepts you understand, they'll still pull away from you" and "the only way to move past this is for both of you to truly listen to each other" and that is so very, very sexy of them

25 notes - Posted August 7, 2022

#3

so an Observation TM I made recently is that in Western love poetry/devotional works/etc, the beloved or the divine tends to be referred to as a shining light or a feeling of warmth or something along those lines, whereas in the (albeit limited amount of) Indian art I'm familiar with, the beloved/divine is a gentle breeze or a cooling shade

I think this is a really good example of fundamental cultural differences that are baked in so deep that you'd never even notice them - I didn't until I was out with my family in one morning, already 25 degrees C at 9am, and saw a tree to stand under, and something in my brain went Ah

31 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

ok so i know im very very late to the party but i can't stop thinking about isabela's line: 'he told me that my power would grow like the grapes that thrive on the vine', specifically the word 'grapes'. was this bruno's word or isabela's, chosen simply to sensibly rhyme 'vine' with 'mine' or with a deeper meaning?

remember, all we see isabela create until what else can i do? is flowers. beautiful, sure, but probably not useful for all that much beyond being decorative, whereas grapes are a food, can be used to make wine, and are considered to have minor healing properties (i'm referring to the idea of bringing sick people grapes to make them feel better or at least refreshed). so they're far more practically useful than just flowers, with aspects of hedonism (wine) and healing (perhaps a shout-out to isabela being julieta's daughter, though i acknowledge that that link is tenuous at best).

so is this actually bruno suggesting/isabela wishing for a role for her that's more than the perfect, decorative flower-growing golden child role that she gets pushed into? the 'something true' that she describes in what else can i do? a representation of something more meaningful and three-dimensional than just growing pretty, ephemeral flowers? what else can i do? does feature only flowering plants, it's true, but they're far more diverse than the traditionally elegant and pretty flowers she grows before that, (and she does grow strangling figs in what else can i do?) and it's not a great stretch to imagine that she continues exploring her powers to see if she can grow fruit, grains, herbs/medicinal plants, timber, etc etc, as well

31 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Bit late but I made Xmas presents for my whole family :)

@ellynneversweet i think u know what reminded me to put this up

53 notes - Posted January 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[rainbowgod666]

...i mean you forgot my tags but if you want yapping then whatever its almost midnight where i am.

Ok so

"Every romance book is called The Cootie Paradox" i mean. Not exactly, its usually some My Immortal tier bullshit that makes you wonder just how HARD society failed women, but also it adesso how most of these books (which i never actually READ btw 🤔) are basically just "what if twilight but with no superwholock supernatural shit and with r/womenwritingmen guys. Also none of the girls is described in a way that makes ANY eventual actor older than 17". Which just. Ew.

"Every horror movie is called Saunter" look. 90% of my posts are made under the presumption that one day pm seymour *will* be like "and what the fuck would YOU be, huh? :3". Of course every movie tries to be the new Thing/Saw/Friday the 13th/Gremlins/Tremors/Etc., because sure, art is beautiful regardless, but the monke brain wants golden statues, so why not try doing exactly what another film did? (And then you realize that not only there was no vision other than "fuck them they dont deserve to be better than me"¹, but also CINEMASINS watched that damn thing, and everyone in the comments agreed its the first time he had a correct opinion). Then the fucking FNAF movie came around and said "shut the fuck up and stick to the source material. Take some liberties if you want either a sequel or just want the movie to be Itself rather than Just Another Thing" and that was so cool.

"Every middling adult fiction book is called The Thousand Mile Road To Kelly Larson": m8 im already Autism Blasting onto you your OWN DAMN POST. last thing ya need is another post about the #society (which is so many dead memes i cant even-)

"Every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called Frümpi" dude. There are way too many posts about the "fitness regime" of society, all of them done by people that, unlike me, actually KNOW wtf they are talking about. Best i can tell you is what i KNOW (which is that excess in fiber or proteins kinda deletes your fucking intestine's internal CPU) and not what i FEEL (which i would do, but i dont want to sound like an... *audible disgust* a m e r i c a n c o n s e r v a t i v e 🤢). Also lets be honest, Frümpi is White People Code for "food that tastes good but funds the fucking idk gaza genocide? Congo genocide? The one in Sudan? Do americans think the world is a sandbox for them to kill as many people as they can? And they say videogames cause violence the fucking cunts". And also the name sounds like a granola bar you eat because a box of the things is 1.10€ and its the cheapest in the store and you go back home and you eat one of them and then you realize that damn bar is an offbrand of an offbrand of an OFFBRAND. How. The fujkck.

"Every resale app is called Bootd" the only thing i can say here is: Making Ebay 2 is idiotic, but at least the names sound somewhat funny² so there is an argument for that (also tech illiteracy is KINDA rampant so something that isnt older than me is probably easier to navigate or whatever)

"Every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig": ok. What fucking HBomberguyClone did you snort this off. Usually video essays are.done correctly. There are sources in the description nobody reads but they still put them because they care dude are you ok do you need somebody to talk to nobody gets this sort of visceral reactions unless they are particularly mad at the topic³ DO YOU NEED A HUG-

"And every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕": ...ok no thats actually kinda wholesome cause it implies humanity is Kinda Cringe-desu Innit Bruv and yet thats... what makes us human. Huh. Maybe i shouldnt set the bar on the ground for someone that can jump like a grasshopper.

So yeah this is all the content and the confusion i could squeeze from your post OP. In any case, my ask box is open (and so are my DMs really) and there are helpful footnotes in the post in case something needs higher clarification or is. You know. A Funny.

Also i proofread this damn thing. Something i didnt do for my ACTUAL IRL CLASS TESTS. SO.

every romance book is called the cootie paradox every horror movie is called Saunter every middling adult fiction book is called the thousand mile road to kelly larson every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called frümpi every resale app is called bootd every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig. and every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕

[mystiika]

re; death personified

h i s t o r y

a meta post can be found here for details on the name & reason for the default form Death uses, but at some point over the millennia death gained the moniker ' ada ' which is what it uses to introduce itself. as such, to make it easier to read this info post i will be using that name to help differentiate between death as the state vs death as a being or capitalise Death to indicate the being. as the form they choose to take most often is that of a woman & i often switch between pronouns especially because what even is gender as a concept, but these pronouns includes it/its. it all depends on the state Death is in for me to use one pronoun or another. below i will try to primarily use it/its but will switch to they/them or simply say ada when i feel like its a little unclear or matches the timeline, as you'll understand a bit from that name meta linked above. that said, ada has & will continue to take the forms of people from the life of the person dying in order to help their passing more tranquilly, if death believes a person/animal with a connection will be better rather than the form of the woman ada will default to. side note: in threads, any pronoun goes honestly so use whatever you feel fits best.

so for my version of death, ada has existed since the beginning of time. it controls both the death & birth of all things. from the birth of universe to the birth of a fly. from death comes life & from life comes death. it’s all connected & does so through ada. all this to say, ada is something of a god. now, that doesn't mean that ada the only god. she can work with other gods as they come up, other givers & takers of life. though it is ancient even among those gods, it was there when they all came to be & as such, demands respect inherently. ( & as an aside, i can easily alter this lore to accommodate other muses ).

she aims to help people live their lives to the fullest before their time comes, but when it does, ada can come to each person/ each living thing, differently, comforts them as best she can, & aids them to pass on peacefully where possible.

but it also hurts her to take lives, to do so in painful ways especially, but just as ada can do things of her own accord, she is bound by her destiny. ada is, at times, forced to be cruel & evil. so she lives ( for lack of a better word ) each day with regrets because, ultimately, she loves everyone & everything so fully. death doesn't want to take lives but there's value & necessity in death order for other life to continue.

earlier i also mentioned both the birth of universes & flies as being something ada is a part of. & while she doesn't necessarily feel the same contributing to the passing of animals without a brain vs something as intelligent as humans, the simply act of taking the life of anything is significant. seeing the death of something as beautiful as a star is difficult even when it brings about the something as breathtaking as the nebula it creates.

i want to discuss the woman whose form ada takes but as this post is already rather long & the background ada has with this woman is also quite long so i'll be making a separate post on her specifically

i n f l u e n c e s

when creating ada, i was firstly influenced just generally by death as it comes up in various media, from things like death/angel of death from supernatural, to stories where death isn't a person. but after reading things such as tuesday's with morrie by mitch albom, my own personal thoughts about death can, has, & will continue to change. this means that my concept for ada is also subject to change here & there.

that being said, my death personified is ultimately heavily inspired by the book thief by markus zusak because of death being the narrator.

the way death introduces themself as the first thing in the novel really stuck with me in particulate. of course there was mention of the observable things that death would notice at the moment someone passes. but to me these two parts in particular were noteworthy:

" it suffices to say that at some point in time, i will be standing over you, as genially as possible. your soul will be in my arms. a color will be perched on my shoulder. i will carry you gently away. "

&

" the question is, what color will everything be at the moment when i come for you? what will the sky be saying? personally, i like a chocolate-colored sky. dark, dark chocolate. people say it suits me. i do, however, try to enjoy every color i see — the whole spectrum. a billion or so flavors, none of them quite the same, and a sky to slowly suck on. it takes the edge off the stress. it helps me relax. "

it just felt so human, while also incredibly isolating in a way. obviously ada is not a 1:1 in personality, but just the concept of death existing as an actual being with a consciousness & feelings were the building blocks for ada as a whole.

realistically the only characters ada can't interact with are other characters that are death ie. death from supernatural or thanatos from greek mythology

[arkitiore]

"Where the hell did you even get a polaroid camera from?! They haven't made these things for years!"

[luaspersona]

oof ok, this review definitely took way longer than i anticipated, but there was so much i wanted to talk about that i couldn’t help myself. so let’s go!

i realized midway through the story that this was the first one-shot i’ve read from you, and i wasn’t familiar with the way you dealt with longer formats, so it kinda felt like i was falling in love with your writing all over again. 

just… ugh, your characterization? every person here is so interesting and captivating, but your take on jin might be the best on i’ve encountered, the closest to what i suppose he’s like in rl, like, their banter, their dialogue, his corny ass jokes but his ultimate softness and care… aaaa it was so fucking good 😩

and i mean, every dialogue was amazing, but their first talk? especially when she relaxes and realizes he won’t, in fact, kill her? the banter is P-E-R-F-E-C-T omg:

The vampire blinks once, twice. Takes a steadying breath and says, “I should’ve eaten you.” You shrug. “But you can’t, so.” Then your two brain cells connect. “Wait, does that mean all vampires can’t bite me? Am I immune? Is this my superhero origin story?” “It’s giving me a fucking migraine, is what it is.” You huff. “You’re avoiding the question.” “Because I don’t know the answer.”

like, he’s so real, so palpable, and so seokjin:

“Yeah. People pay a lot of money for it, and it’s not, like, illegal to bite someone consensually, so long as there’s proper documentation. And I’m really, really handsome, right, so people would pay a lot more money to get bitten by me, specifically.”

and you also have this amazing and mesmerizing control of pace. like, how you create the feeling of intimacy through time, and how you depict that time and make us feel it passing without the need to describe each event in detail because you’re a master at conveying feeling and impact — nevermind what happened, how did it make them feel?? and it makes the story so involving, i felt like i was seeing it unfold due to the RIDICULOUS the authority you have over pace and information (what to tell and when to do so). like the decision to use summary here and still be able to convey the feeling the mood of what happened:

It’s cold and it’s a long walk, takes the better part of an hour and that’s with a few shortcuts sprinkled in. Your companion talks the entire way, never shuts up even for a second, and you wonder if all vampires are as talkative as him or if you’d just run into one who’s kind of annoying but chivalrous and charming, somehow. He lends you his coat again and pops into the convenience store to buy you gloves and a cup of coffee. You jokingly ask if he bought them with money from his part-time rideshare gig and you learn he has a contagious laugh.

and their connection???????? this is straight up one of the best pairings i’ve ever seen. it feels like a domestic and mundane type of love, nevermind it being between a human and a vampire, but they liked each other in a simple way, in a domestic way that feels familiar even at the beginning, cus it’s like coming home, like the calm and peaceful of feeling of genuinity and no need to rush things cus you just know they are right, like in scenes like this:

He laughs again, harder this time, and you find yourself wishing you were funnier just so you can hear it all the time. Laughter looks good on him.

so fucking softtttttttt, the way they care for each other 😭:

Although he seems a bit more comfortable, he’s still obviously restless. Crooked fingers have been picking at the pilling of his sweater since he sat down. There’s a small pile of it on the floor, right at his feet, that he’s oblivious to. Not that you’re going to mention it, either, but the last thing you need is for Xander to eat it and hack up some disgusting combination of hairball and sweater fuzz, so when Seokjin isn’t looking you subtly push it under the couch with your foot.

it’s the subtle and domestic care for me:

Much to Seokjin’s relief, step one of Cohabitating With a Vampire is not going up against centuries of vampiric politics. Instead, you follow through on your promise and give him the passwords to all your streaming services.

here too:

And now it’s spring, so all you can do is lay in your bed with the windows cracked and wonder if every police siren you hear is because something awful has happened to him. Which is also stupid, because the man has superpowers, for fuck’s sake. He’s more than capable of taking care of himself, can do far better of a job than you could ever hope to, so there’s no sense in worrying. Still.

and here:

You level him with a stare even though his eyes aren’t open to see it. “I’m not talking about physically, you idiot. I mean, I do worry about you physically, but I worry more about you mentally and emotionally. You went through an incredibly traumatizing thing and you don’t talk about it.”

and also:

It’s not like that. Maybe it’s cliche to say he’s more important than whatever it costs to house him here, but it’s true. Simply being able to lay in bed, cool breeze streaming in from a cracked window, and hear Seokjin’s squeaky laughter and muffled voice as he talks to his stream—it’s priceless. You wouldn’t trade it for anything.

plus here:

You respond to Seokjin’s mistyped texts with the appropriate amount of interest and the occasional meme and you don’t push when his thoughts become less joke-y and more introspective. He asks your thoughts about the concept of found family, if you think people (and by people he means Prince Zuko) are capable of redemption or if sometimes someone can truly be too far gone.

but also how their relationship grow naturally:

Later on, after you’ve showered and are tucked into bed, a warmth spreads through your chest as you hear Seokjin say to his stream, nothing but affection in his voice, “Can you believe my best friend’s cat tried to murder me today?”

like when she realizes how much he’s inserted and burned into her routine atp:

You’ve grown so used to having him in your space, in your life. The thought of no longer hearing his ridiculous laugh from across the hall, still audible even with your noise-canceling headphones on? The thought of cooking dinner alone again. The thought of no longer coming home from work to find Seokjin napping on the couch, Xander curled up on his chest. It’s all unfathomable. Has your heart pounding wildly in your chest, and you know Seokjin can hear it, know you’ll probably have to examine all these feelings soon, but—

and here? i almost cried and filled a lawsuit istg:

Why can’t they? you want to ask. What can I possibly give you? But that’s… dumb. They’re questions you already know the answer to, especially when Seokjin’s looking at you like this: like you’re the only thing in his entire universe that matters. Like he’d trust you to lead him into war; trust you to keep him safe. That’s what all of this is truly about, isn’t it? Trust.

and the whole part about the valetine’s day was so AKJFWIBFKJLKCQENRV FUCKING HEART WARMING

but this part:

He’s crying. Two things happen before you even have a chance to breathe: you get tangled in the duvet and eat shit trying to scramble out of bed, and your hands are pressed to Seokjin’s cheeks, thumbing away the tears beneath his eyes. He heaves a sob and pulls you closer. Wraps those gangly arms around your shoulders and cries quietly into your neck. It all makes you feel a bit hopeless, but you know Seokjin feels safe. You know you’re a safe place for him. So you let him cry. Don’t ask what’s wrong, because you already know, have been waiting for it to hit out of the blue and all at once. There are only so many distractions. Even fewer that can bear the weight of a trauma like Seokjin’s.

honestly? it was my favorite, no doubt.

but besides that, you also have such a charming, enamoring way of approaching descriptions and telling things. it’s never said in an obvious way and the way through which you contextualize things is so interesting and captivating! like:

In a dark alley in between the club and a 24-hour convenience store as a tall, broad-shouldered man with long, very sharp teeth tries—and fails—to sink them into your neck. He coughs awkwardly, pulls back as he tightens his grip on your waist. Your back is pressed to his chest, so it’s not like you can see his face, but you think if you could there’d be a very perplexed look on it. “Well, this is awkward, huh?”

i mean lmaoooo 😭😭😭😭:

“Really?” you deadpan. “You really expect me to believe there are vampires out there moonlighting as Uber drivers?” He scoffs. “Well, we certainly can’t daylight as them, now can we?”

that’s so seokjin! but the reader is also so fucking funny:

See, you had the advantage of not being over two-hundred years old.

plus:

You’d stolen (more like permanently borrowed without prior consent, because stolen is such a loaded word) some spare equipment from work.

like, aren’t they the healthiest couple atp??:

Seokjin trusts you. Seokjin has allowed something solid and impenetrable to be formed between you, has helped create it. Now it’s time to trust him in turn—trust that he’s happy, safe, wants to stay here.

and that’s why they are so charming together:

“It means you’re a bona fide local celebrity, darling. The only person in this city immune to a friendly chomp. After my unfortunate excommunication, you were the talk of the vampire world for weeks. The two chaos demons will probably ask for your autograph.” Eyes narrow, you study Seokjin’s face. “I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me.” “I would never.” “That’s a lie.” Seokjin just grins.

and you also  make AMAZING analogies like aksakjhdka:

You’ll be a goner all because you had a brief, fleeting moment of stupidity, like the kid back in high school that always asked the teacher if they were going to collect the homework after they’d forgotten. Everyone hated that kid, and you’ve learned nothing.

now i just wanna make a lil hall of fame of writing choices, with no particular commentary about them:

“Hey now,” he says, doing his best to shush you. He already knows he’s in for a reaming for outing himself to a human; the last thing he needs is to be caught by anyone else. “Anyone would be lucky to murder you. You’re totally good enough! Don’t say things like that about yourself.”

and 😭😭😭😭:

“Not to mention,” you continue, a manicured finger jabbing into his chest, “you totally ruined my night. My friends dragged me out to celebrate me, you know? I finally got that promotion at work that should’ve been mine years ago, but my shitty boss gave it to Steve! Fucking Steve. But I finally got it, so my friends were like, ‘Oh my god, let’s go out to celebrate! We’ll buy all your drinks!’ Which—do you know how fucking cheap my friends are? They never pay for drinks! I was drinking on an unlimited tab, and you ruined it, you fucking dickhead! And I’m gonna have to go back to therapy!”

comparing seokjin to math tho that’s just mean:

The memory of him should’ve been lodged into an unused crevice of your mind—some dusty, cobweb-covered wrinkle that also housed lyrics to one-hit wonders from the ‘90s and the formulas for trigonometric ratios. Sine, cosine, and tangents may have been lost to the recesses of your mind forever, but Seokjin hadn’t.

alksjalk:

This is normally the part where you’d offer to make him something—coffee, a cup of tea, something bitter and alcoholic—but you’re not sure what he drinks other than blood. Which is not a thing you have outside of your body.

like she’s so indifferent at times lmao:

Nine-o’clock on a Saturday night. Previously alone in your apartment, because one near-death experience was enough to put you off clubbing for a while. A knock on your door. A mysterious man on the other side. He has sharp teeth. Once tried to use you as a chew toy. Grass is green, water is wet.

the forehead comment lmao so true: 

This is weird and not correct. Seokjin doesn’t stumble. He’s infuriatingly composed at all times, especially when he’s dressed to go out and leaves a bit of forehead showing. Then he’s really composed. Carries himself with an unshakeable arrogance that has you wondering how one’s forehead can wield so much power.

this made me sob:

“Jungkookie eats human food. He’s a vile little creature.”

and like, i loved that you left us with an open ending, even if i also like to think she eventually turned too. i can’t help but daydream and picture scenarios with this couple in the eternal life, with seokjin being his dorky forever self and reader matching his energy forever, with her care and her awesome personality lol

tbh i struggled a lot with this review, because i loved this story SO MUCH, but couldn't find the words to express it (that's why i'm mostly just quoting you). i think your writing is just so amazing and you're just so talented that it feels vain to actually try and analyze it somehow... but overall, thank you so much for writing this, cus i feel like it altered the way i view relationships and the idea of time and passion. slow and gradual things can also be super intense, and you made me feel loved through their love.

you suck! | ksj

(or, the one where everything goes very wrong but a lot more goes very right.)

→ pairing: vampire!seokjin x f. reader → genre: supernatural; strangers to lovers; roommates; crack, fluff → rating: explicit. minors dni. → warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex work, taekook are also chaotic vampires, a lot of twilight references for someone who has never seen or read it, completely made up and non-canonical vampire lore, a teeny-tiny bit of angst, jin’s forehead has powers or something, jin takes dick pics on a polaroid (canon), one very purposely awkward smut scene that includes: slight praise kink, unprotected sex, oral, kissing. overall this is very soft and they are just two idiots very in love, your honor. → wordcount: 18.3k → a/n: i started this almost exactly a year ago after buying this print from @yelhsaart​ and becoming completely obsessed with it. i just wanted to write jin as a goofy, idiot (affectionate) vampire. as i said in the warnings, the vampire lore is completely made up here. some of it is canon, some of it is inspired by the wayhaven chronicles, some of it is just plot device. don’t take it too seriously. → thank yous: lauren, for once again being my beta and telling me when my brain writes sentences that don’t make sense. jess, for being born today — happy birthday, this is my lame and completely self-serving gift to you. bee, for always encouraging my chaos.

Keep reading

[snoozingaizawa]

@dermapyre​ and i were having a conversation and:

and out of that came these (please check under the cut, you won’t regret it):

[variousqueerthings]

you know I think I am fundamentally incompatible with grading systems

[fallencomrade-a]

     THOUSAND - YARD - STARE  struggles  to  sharpen  back  into  focus,  listless  slate  eyes  slow  to  lift  and  regard  the  person  standing  before  him  ;;  even  longer  to  recognize. . .  

        he  swallows  thickly,   ❛  — just  a  little. . .  out of  it.  it’ll  wear  off.  ❜

[nerdy-catfish]

Well, if you insist ... :)

Transcribing tengwar to Latin letters isn't quite as simple as letter-for-letter substitution, of course, so this is about as condensed as I felt I could make it while still accommodating every possibility and avoiding inaccuracy. (Which my brain wouldn't let me not do.) Realistically you're never going to use most of these unless you're making up a lot of random names.

(This is actually a slightly more digestible summary of a summary. I left the full one below the cut, since I couldn't resist getting pedantic and it got out of hand very quickly. Feel free to skip the rest if you don't want to see the linguistics and etymology behind all this.)

Consonants:

C/K — calma 'lamp' (e.g. Curufinwë)

F — formen 'north' (Fëanáro)

H — hyarmen 'south'

Hl— halla 'tall'

Hr — halla 'tall'

Hw — hwesta 'breeze'

L — lambë 'tongue (as in language)' (Laurefindelë)

M — malta 'gold (as a metal)' (Maitimo)

N — númen 'west' (see below) (Nelyafinwë)

Ñ/N — ñoldo 'Noldo / Deep-Elf' (see below) (Ñolofinwë)

Ñw/Nw — ñwalmë 'torment'

(Which N is 'correct' to use depends on the etymology of the word in question. I go into more detail below the cut.)

Ny — nyellë 'bell'

P — parma 'book' (Pityafinwë)

Qu — quessë 'feather'

R — rómen 'east' (Russandol)

S — silmë 'starlight' (see below)

S/Þ — súlë / thúlë 'breath' or 'spirit' (Sauron)

(Same deal with these two forms of S as with N above, although this one is a bit more well-known thanks to Fëanor.)

T — tinco 'metal' (Turkafinwë)

Ty — tyelpë 'silver' (Tyelkormo I guess :|)

V — vala 'angelic power' (Voronwë)

(W — vilya 'air')

(Initial Ws in Quenya all became Vs at some vague point in time, so it's up to you whether you keep it or not.)

Y — anna 'gift' (Yavanna)

Since we don't know the names of most vowels, you can use the carriers instead:

[Short vowel] — telco 'leg' (Arakáno)

[Long vowel] — ára 'dawn' (Írimë)

Or, in a diphthong, the name of the tengwa used for the second vowel:

Ai — yanta 'bridge' (Aikanáro)

Au — úrë 'heat' (Aulë)

Eu — úrë 'heat'

Oi — yanta 'bridge'

Ui — yanta 'bridge' (Uinen)

For the diminutives you can stick -incë to the end of the word, even replacing the last vowel if it flows better that way. I'm not sure what the equivalent of "big [letter]" would be. Maybe polda- stuck to the beginning? Poldamalta and Maltincë, Big M and Little M, for Maitimo and Makalaurë?

Below the cut I've organized everything "alphabetically" by tengwa instead and gone into more detail on the specific circumstances each one is used in.

This site is a good reference if you want more detail on the different modes and linguistic histories and things. And of course eldamo.org for checking etymologies. I’ll number this list according to the table in Appendix E.

1 tinco: ‘metal’, used for t. Common first initial

2 parma: ‘book’, used for p. Common first initial

3 calma: ‘lamp’, used for c/k. Common first initial

4 quessë: ‘feather’, used for qu. Common first initial

5-8 ando ‘gate’; umbar ‘fate’; anga ‘iron’; ungwë ‘spiderweb’: used for nd, mb, ng, and ngw respectively; never appear initially

9 súlë / þúlë: ‘breath / spirit’ (but NOT as in fëa or disembodied ghost. It’s a complicated word. Root of Manwë’s Súlimo), Fëanor’s infamous þ/s. Common first initial but make sure you don’t mean 29 silmë instead; words originally pronounced þ would still be spelled with súlë.

10 formen: ‘north’, used for f. Common first initial

11 aha: ‘rage’, used for medial h. Never a first initial, see 33 hyarmen or 34 halla.

12 hwesta: ‘breeze’, used for hw. Less common first initial but still perfectly plausible

13-16 anto ‘mouth’; ampa ‘hook’; anca ‘jaws’; unquë ‘hollow (as a noun)’: used for nt, mp, nc, nqu respectively; never appear initially

17 númen: ‘west’, used for n. Common first initial but make sure you don’t mean 19 ñoldo or 20 ñwalmë instead

18 malta: ‘gold (as a metal)’, used for m. Common first initial

19 ñoldo: ‘Noldo / deep-elf’, used for ñ (pronounced like the ng in sing). This sound had been replaced by n by the Third Age, but the Quenya-speakers in Valinor I assume you're talking about would still have been using it, and even after the sound was gone it would likely still have been spelled the same way. If you want to go to the trouble of being 'accurate' (which it's fine if you don't of course! I say through gritted teeth) you’ll want to check if the name you have would use this tengwa.

20 ñwalmë: 'torment', used for ñw. Similar situation to above. I struggled to create an actually appealing name with this one since most of the words spelled with it have such negative connotations, but it's still possible! (If you're interested, Ñwarinetsir means 'eroded river mouth')

21 órë: 'heart (inner mind)', used for r before consonants or at the end of words. Predictably not used initially, see 25 rómen instead

22 vala: 'angelic power', used for v. Common first initial, but like I said, it might be problematic for nicknames.

23 anna: 'gift', used with two dots below for y. Surprisingly common as a first initial actually

24 vilya: 'air', used for w. Another case of two sounds merging; this time initial w became v. Apparently this change was reflected in spelling too, which means unless you're using an old dialect (or you just think w sounds better), this one likely won't be used as a first initial

25 rómen: 'east', used for r before vowels. This one is a common first initial.

26 arda: 'region', used for rd. Never appears initially

27 lambë: 'tongue (as in language)', used for l. Common first initial

28 alda: 'tree', used for ld. Never appears initially

29-30 silmë and silmë nuquerna: 'starlight' and 'silmë reversed', used for s. They're the same letter, but you flip it upside down to fit a vowel on top. Common first initial but make sure you don't mean 9 súlë instead or you'll make Fëanor mad. This is the s that Silmaril starts with.

31-32 essë and essë nuquerna: 'name' and 'essë reversed', used for ss. Never appear initially.

33 hyarmen: 'south', used for initial h. Common first initial but make sure you don't mean 12 hwesta or 34 halla instead

34 halla: 'tall', used in hr and hl. The table in Appendix E has hwesta sindarinwa here, but as the name might suggest, that doesn't appear in Quenya, so I've replaced it with halla. It just looks like a straight vertical line, and it's used in combination with 25 rómen and 27 lambë to make the unvoiced versions hl and hr. There are comparatively few words that start like this, but it's still possible to make names with them.

35 yanta: 'bridge', used for i in diphthongs. If the name starts with ai, oi, or ui, this is the first tengwa.

36 úrë: 'heat', used for u in diphthongs. If the name starts with au or eu (or iu but that can't happen), this is the first tengwa.

If the name starts with a short vowel, the short carrier telco 'leg' would be used, and for a long vowel it would be ára 'dawn'.

There are also two other options naming the combinations ty and ny, tyelpë 'silver' and nyellë 'bell' respectively. (Hence the reference to Tyelkormo being called Tyelpë in the tags of my first reply.)

Thanks for letting me indulge in linguistic ramblings haha, and for reading the whole thing if you got this far.

hit new Elvish vocabulary idea that someone who knows Quenya or Sindarin much better than I can exploit: a popular nickname style is to take the first letter of their name in Tengwar and either call them that outright or add a diminutive to call them “little [letter]”—or “big [letter]”, in the case of particularly round babies or particularly tall elves.