#but most people have some level fear towards radiation

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

i vaguely remember seeing a post about the woman on tiktok illegally digging a tunnel under her house to make a storm shelter, but i did not realise that 1) she has 0 qualifications and works in IT, 2) she got into her areas watertable and started pumping groundwater out into her yard, 3) when a fire broke out, she recorded herself putting it out with a fire extinguisher in one hand and her phone in the other, 4) she hit a radon gas bubble, 5) shes located somewhere with big sulphur pockets and as she got into the waterline, she might have produced sulphuric acid which leaks into the aquifer, aka she could be poisoning the local drinking water, 6) she lives on a CUL-DE-SAC, 7) shes just been releasing silica dust whilst not using respiratory gear herself, let alone warning her neighbours, and 8) her neighbours have said the ground would randomly shake sometimes but many of them felt they couldnt report it to local authorities for fear of deportation.

she has now been stopped and seems to think that since shes only tunneling under her property, itll be easy to get permits to continue. she also drives a tesla which... yeah, that sounds about right.

[beloved-calypso]

・ ゜ ʚɞ ゜ ゜𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖘 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖊𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊? ♡ ・ ゜ ʚɞ ゜ ゜‎♡‧₊˚✧ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ✧˚₊‧♡ 18+!

♡ “𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒾𝑔𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓍𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑜𝒸𝑒𝓃𝒸𝑒, 𝒾𝓉’𝓈 𝒸𝓇𝓊𝑒𝓁𝓉𝓎 𝓂𝒾𝓍𝑒𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝒶 𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝑒𝓁𝑒𝑔𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒. 𝐼𝓉’𝓈 𝒶 𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓅 𝓈𝑒𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝑒𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝓉𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓈𝓊𝒶𝒹𝑒𝒹 𝒷𝓎 𝓈𝓅𝑒𝑒𝒸𝒽.”–𝒥𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝑅. 𝒞𝑜𝓇𝑜𝓃𝒶𝒹𝑜 ♡

All pictures and gifs are not mine but belong to their original artists.♡

I. -> II. -> III.

ᴍᴅɴɪ! ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴ ᴇxᴘʟɪᴄɪᴛ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴜʙᴊᴇᴄᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛ. ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴇɴᴇʀɢɪᴇꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴀʀʟʏ ɪᴅᴇɴᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ, "ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ" ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴀ ᴄᴀʀᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴏꜰ ʏᴀ'ʟʟ ᴍɪɢʀᴀᴛᴇᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ? ᴏɴʟʏ 3 ᴘɪʟᴇꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴡᴏʀᴋɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ᴀ ʙɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴘʀᴏᴊᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴅᴜᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴜʏꜱ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ, ɪ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ ɪɴ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇ ɪꜰ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀʀ ᴏʀ ᴘᴜɴᴄᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ. ᴇɴɢʟɪꜱʜ ɪꜱ ᴍʏ ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ. ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜱᴜᴄᴋ ᴀᴛ ɪᴛ.

~ XOXO 💋🎀

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 1 ๑◞꒱ა

[King of Swords (rx), The Magician, 6 of wands (rx)]

Pile 1 you have a strong, silent confidence about you. Maybe some of you have Scorpio in your chart. I'm also getting Capricorn and Virgo. You may not think that you come off as intimidating, but you radiate power from within. I think your seductive powers come from the way you manipulate your energy, as in you know how to close off and open yourself to people. You have an intimidating but dominating aura, and to other people, you seem very selective with who you socialize. You may come off as someone cold and judgemental, as someone with prominent masculine energy, someone who is almost invulnerable and cloaked in mystery. You have an aura of prestige and unattainability. You like having control over situations and you always keep your head up high, like no one can disturb your peace or step up to you so easily. When you speak, you're either super charismatic or a tease, only getting people to know the surface level of you. People may assume that you have an inner rich world and there's a treasure trove of knowledge and intrigue hidden deep inside you, but you won't show it to just anyone. You may often find yourself being the one to make the first move. People view you to be irresistible, even when you act cold towards them, they can't help but feel this magnetic pull towards you. You sometimes act coy and sly to get suitors that are on the more dominant side. You definitely like to play power games. You know how to say all the right things and you even butter those people up. Maybe you don't get as much attention as you want, but only because most people don't have the confidence to approach you. They'd be quick to expect the worst and are too scared to get their feelings hurt because they expect you to be unkind with your words. I think also you have quite the ego and you choose to hide this, but in fact, you love it when people express praise and admiration to you too. You preen under the attention, and people want to give it to you because they feel that the easiest way to get closer to you is to flatter your vanity. People assume that you get offers all the time and that they have to come towards you correct and with originality to stand out from the crowd. You also have a strong enough sense of self to where even if you get rejected, you act cool and detached, and that causes people to both admire and fear your fearlessness. Even in those types of situations where you feel powerless, you appear to come out on top. There's just something dangerous about you like you invoke strong feelings of arousal and fear (think of sexy, bad-boy villains). People want to be worthy of your attention. More dominant types can either see you as a challenge or a threat, and the softer types will know not to even try it. You are an exclusive, a VIP only treat.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 2 ๑◞꒱ა

7 of Swords (rx), Page of pentacles, The Magician

There's so much yellow in these cards Pile 2! You're hard NOT to notice. Maybe you have a bright, yellow, or orange-colored aura. You may wear bright-colored clothes or have light hair. Yellow also makes me think of clarity/exposure, so maybe you're the type to see right through other people's gimmicks and are a clear, concise communicator. You can sense BS a mile away and very few can get one up on you. You don't sugarcoat your words and they can cut deep. You can be quite witty and sarcasm may be your favorite language, but I get the sense that you prefer to be alone. Your seductive power lies within your drive, nonchalant attitude, and ability to maximize your sex appeal. Your mind is busy, constantly racing. You may think a lot about the future and are rarely ever in the present moment, or you are so in the present moment that everything around you is just background noise and your attention is focused on what you're doing You're a busy bee and it can be hard to get your attention, and many people want your attention. The way you glamorize and dress is so enticing. It's giving me classy, 90's supermodel vibes. You are intellectual and a high achiever. People think they have to be at a certain level of success to match with you. You're ambitious, resourceful, and all about your money and career. You want stability from your relationships and nothing less; no games or empty promises. You may also be the type to get involved in deep, cerebral conversations. The way you seduce and like to be seduced is through the mind. You want to be mentally stimulated and in turn, stimulate your partners the same way ( waving hi to the sapiosexuals). Your partners have to have value and a certain level of intellect in your eye for you to give them the time of day. You don't care for shallowness or dishonesty. People know they have to go the extra mile to impress you. You already impress and intimidate the f*ck out of them. Maybe you were also attracted to Pile 1 cause I got a similar energy there. You know how to make things happen Pile 2. You are long-term material. People may even see you as a chess piece, like having someone like you on their side would be beneficial and a power move. People fantasize about being part of a power couple with you. They want you to dominate them, even control them a bit. Lol, I think a lot of people think it's sexy when you get mad. They like to rile you up and direct all that passionate energy you have towards them. You seem to have it all, and you can't accept anything but the best from other people. It's giving boss/career woman energy. It's like at the snap of your fingers things magically happen. You're like a shooting star and people will do anything to stay in your orbit.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 3 ๑◞꒱ა

[9 of wands (rx), 8 of Cups, The chariot, The world]

You're empaths Pile 3. Ya'll live in your heads but are worldly and experienced beings. I didn't get the Fool, but I think that would be the perfect card to describe you, as someone who is adventurous, hyperactive, and a risk-taker. You are naturally extroverted, but I'm getting for some, it's easy to be alone in a crowd, like you could socialize, but you prefer to stay in your bubble and just explore the going-ons. You have many passions and constantly carry this enthusiastic energy around you. People find this incredibly seductive. They get caught up in this energy and are quick to follow your lead thinking that what you have to offer is nothing less but happiness and adventure. You have a zest for life, a Je ne sais quoi that leaves people captivated by you. They are in awe as to where you get this excitable energy, how you're so courageous and unafraid of anything. It's easy for people to lose themselves in you like you make them forget all the bad things in their life. Some of you are frequent travelers and dream about exploring the world. Your head is in the clouds and while some people consider you to be unrealistic and naive, they envy how nothing can seem to bring you down. You make people feel like they can achieve anything, like being with you is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Around you, the sun seems brighter, colors are more saturated, and the birds are constantly chirping. You make people feel young. I think you're also natural healers like you know how to soothe and uplift people that are wounded and hurt. You know how to work them through their pain and distract them from it with something spontaneous and lighthearted. This results in people forming attachments towards you and idolizing you (for some this could be to an unhealthy degree). I think your voice is high-pitched and you talk with a hyperactive flair that people think is cute. You have an easier time forming relationships and convincing people to do things with and for you. It's easy for people to have their guard down around you because you are such a breath of fresh air. You don't attract specific types of people, but rather anyone and everyone. You're so dreamy Pile 3 that if people don't often approach you, it's because they are too busy daydreaming about you to approach. To them, you're someone that can't be tied down or fully theirs, so some prefer to fantasize rather than get their heart broken. You're a literal dream Pile 3!

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

ᴀɴʏ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍꜱ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙʟᴏɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɪᴍᴘʀᴏᴠᴇ ɪᴛ. ♡

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ

© lolita-bonita — Please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other social media platforms without my permission. This is the only platform that I post this type of content. If you see my work being posted anywhere else, please kindly report them to me. ♡

⊱┈───── ✧

✨️ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Tarot is not an exact science, nor can it produce information that is factually true. All things posted are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. The future is fluid, and what may happen is based on your choices and actions, not what I and a deck of cards say. You are still the creator of your future. ✨️

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

[empresskylo]

beneath the mask ✩ chapter 7 ⬅ch.6

➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 ➠SIMON "GHOST" RILEY X AFAB!READER ➠CHAPTER TAGS | afab!reader. nightmares. wc 3.2k ➠AUTHOR'S NOTE | this chapter got me feelin some typa way

𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

ghost struggled to come to terms with his feelings towards you. he knew he had grown to like you, but what did that entail exactly? was he interested beyond friendship? and even if he was, he couldn’t act on his desires – a lieutenant can't get himself involved with a subordinate medic. and the fact that you were often on his team meant he was your direct superior half of the time… things could get messy extremely fast. 

he also liked to tell himself that you wanted something he couldn’t offer. a relationship – romantic or platonic – he had an unrelenting habit of closing people out.

so ghost decided he should avoid you. not entirely, that would be impossible , but he had to shake you from his thoughts. he needed time to wipe out the memory of you pressed against him in that closet. of the way your hands felt wrapped around him on his motorcycle. the fear that coursed through him as he watched you run into that burning house. 

he thought of you often, and he fucking hated it . 

he thought back to the day he spoke to you before thinking: “ you’re the one who told me to let people in. ” you had properly scared him when you ran into that flaming building. that’s when he knew he had let you slip into the cracks of his shell without even realizing it. 

i’d sooner kick your ass off my fuckin’ team if it meant keepin’ you safe. from leavin’ me. 

he had immediately regretted the words. he told you he’d kick you off the team if it meant keeping you from getting yourself killed – aka – leaving him. 

he ran a hand down his scarred face as he looked in the bathroom mirror and sighed. he was worried you’d get the wrong idea. granted, he meant exactly what he said, but admitting that to you was a new level of danger simon wasn’t accustomed to. becoming acquainted with his teammates was one thing, but letting you in was a whole different story and he didn’t know why. he didn’t know why he started to crave your presence, ever since he had you bandaging him up after he was shot weeks ago. you had been different… you were still radiating hope. this shithole hadn’t crushed your soul yet. you reminded him a bit of soap. 

he grabbed the sides of the sink and stared at his reflection, disgust rising in his throat. why, of all people, did it have to be you? why couldn’t his cold, dead heart beat for someone outside of this line of work? or even better, for no one at all . 

i’ve neva had a lil’ crush on my lieutenant, actin’ like this is all a big fuckin’ game.

his own words clogged his brain. god, there was no way you’d forgive him for being such an ass. and maybe that was for the best. 

he went over all the reasons he needed to pry you from his thoughts: your relationship would be forbidden; he’d hurt you; you’d probably hurt him; you’re too young for him; he has no fucking idea how to navigate a romantic relationship. all solid reasons to him.

then a stupid, careless thought popped into his head. maybe…maybe he could just get you out of his system… but were you the type of girl who could do sex with no strings attached? simon didn’t want to admit that he’d certainly be the one who’d get attached, so he scratched that off his – lacking – list of options with the rationale being that you’d probably get hung up over him.

all these logical reasons, and he still couldn’t shake you. he was fucked . 

it was late and simon had a meeting with price, a quick debrief on the whole hassan situation. he kept his outfit light, sporting just a long-sleeved black shirt, black sweats, his combat boots, mask, and gun strapped to his hip. most of the barracks would be asleep by now unless soap had somehow convinced gaz to play another round of poker. 

ghost walked the halls, stealthy in the shadows of the flickering fluorescent lights overhead. it was a natural part of his gait now: to blend in and be silent. 

he stretched his arms over his head as he sauntered down the corridors. he heard a strange noise echo down one of the halls and he halted. curious, he changed direction and started to walk down the right corridor towards the sound, hearing the noise more clearly now. it was coming from one of the rooms. 

it sounded like… crying. someone was sobbing and whimpering in distress. 

ghost’s first reaction was that someone was hurt, in trouble, but as he edged towards the door, he realized it sounded more like someone having a night terror. 

he slowly pushed open the door that had already been left slightly ajar, letting the faded light slip into the room, and spotted you on your tiny, smaller-than-a-twin sized bed. he cursed at himself when he realized it was your room he was walking into uninvited.

but that moment of doubt slipped when he heard you begin to cry, whining in your sleep. he made it over to the side of your bed and said your name softly, not sure what else to do. 

when you didn’t respond, he rubbed the back of his neck and tried again. “ come on. wake up .” he attempted to be quiet, he didn’t want anyone to hear him and come snooping about, finding him in your room… at night… in the dark. wanting to prevent that, he quickly went to your bedroom door and shut it before going back to your side whilst muttering curses. his hand came out, softly resting on your shoulder, and he gently shook you. “wake up,” he tried again. 

he clicked on the light by your bedside and felt his heart twinge when he looked back at you. the lamp created a terrible yellow glow, but that didn’t disguise the tears you had streaming down your cheeks. 

he leaned over you, his body getting precariously close to yours, and he gave you a harder nudge. this time,  you finally opened your eyes. the tears continued to pour down your face and you hiccuped a tired sob out. ghost tucked some of your disheveled hair behind your ear on instinct. “ you’re okay ,” he said faintly. 

“ghost…?” he saw your lips quiver as you sat up, realizing you weren't alone in the room, and you reached for him, almost colliding with ghost’s head, wrapping your arms around his neck. he jolted upright a bit in surprise, pulling you with him. his arms hesitated, but after a few moments, they found a spot around your waist like his body was familiar with this. 

he could feel you crying into his neck and his hand on you tightened, pulling you flesh against him. 

“please don’t tell anyone,” you mumbled against him. 

ghost was oblivious to his hands as they began to rub circles on your back. “why would i tell anyone?”

you pulled away, your hands still clasped around his neck, and looked at him. ghost gulped. your eyes were red and teary but that just made them that much more vibrant. you had tear marks down your cheeks and your hair was all over the place. his chest tightened momentarily. he desperately wanted to wipe the tears from your cheeks, but he refrained by tightening his grip on you instead.

your eyes shifted down in embarrassment. “just… will you keep this between us? please.”

it hurt him to think that you either thought so lowly of him to worry that he might use this against you, or because of the fact that you didn’t want anyone to know you were struggling. 

a pang of hurt spread through ghost before quickly subsiding. did you think he was the type of person who would casually gossip? fuck , of course you did. you were probably worried he’d throw this back in your face in the future. he had done nothing but diss out insults and begruding remarks at you since day one. has he ever said a kind word to you? he was trying to remember, but your face so close to him made it hard. 

ghost thought about his own nightmares that plagued him and how he hadn’t told anyone either. he kept it to himself. knowing that feeling, he nodded at you in an unspoken promise: this was between the two of you, and the two of you only. 

you released your arms awkwardly and ghost set you back down so you were sitting on your bed. that's when he realized you were only in a tank top and sleep shorts – skimpy ones at that. he averted his eyes quickly, though he desperately wanted to linger on you. 

“sorry,” you said. ghost couldn’t see, but he figured you’d be blushing. “this is so embarrassing.” you buried your face in your hands. 

“it’s not,” he said finally. 

you looked up at him and gave him a mirthless smile. “it is. i can’t believe i still get nightmares like a kid.”

ghost’s hands slipped into his pockets, unsure of what else to do with them. “i get 'em too.”

you shied away from his gaze. “you don’t have to say that.”

“i wouldn’t lie jus’ t’make you feel better.” he didn’t know why he had to say it like that, but he was relieved when you gave a small laugh, even if it was breathless. 

“yeah, well it seems more appropriate for you.”

he tilted his head in a quizzical manner. 

“ i just mean that you have been in combat… i can’t imagine the horrors you’ve seen… things you’ve done…”

“jus’ cause you haven’t killed people with your own hands, doesn’t mean you can’t have things that haunt you.”

you swallowed, your mouth suddenly dry. your intention wasn’t to get ghost to comfort you – he was probably wishing he had never walked into your room right about now – you were simply embarrassed and wanted to gloss over the situation, but it came off as self-deprecating. it figures he wouldn’t let that slide. 

ghost shifted between his feet. you felt your face warm as he stared down at you sitting cross-legged on your bed. 

ghost opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. “would you stay with me?”

oh my god. you waved your hands in front of you frantically. “no, sorry. i don’t know why i said that. i–i’ll just go bother soap. don’t worry about me,” you said all at once as one long slur of words. you can’t believe you just asked your lieutenant that, especially now that he knows about your ‘lil crush’, as he called it. he’d certainly think you were obsessed or reading things wrong. 

to much of your astonishment, ghost gestured his head forward, indicating he wanted you to scoot over. you clumsily did, your shoulder now against the wall. 

the room was small, just one bed with a mattress – the other cot was barren, your roommate situation up in the air at the moment – and there was no chair. he only had one option if he was to stay with you.

a pang of annoyance coursed through ghost. what could johnny do that he couldn’t? he thought to himself in challenge. and so he settled in beside you, his legs stretching across your bed. it was a tight squeeze with his formidable frame and your tiny ass bed.

you felt your whole body heat up, his shoulder against yours as he squeezed into the small space. 

ghost was doing precisely the opposite of what he had just lectured himself on. 

“you don’t have to…i didn’t mean to–”

“jus’ close that mouth of yours and go t’sleep,” he said coolly, though his skin was burning where you leaned against him. 

you were propped up on your pillow and you both laid there in silence. ghost wanted to say something – to tell you he was sorry. to tell you that he is only an ass because he doesn’t know how to control his emotions. but the words evaded him. and that was probably for the best. 

you weren’t sure how you were going to fall asleep with ghost now at your side, keeping you on edge. but after only a few minutes, your eyes grew heavier and fluttered shut against your will, your head lulled against him as sleep overtook you. his presence reminded you that you were safe. 

he felt safe . 

simon cursed under his breath as he felt himself smile when you leaned into him, your body falling into a slumber. he knew better than to allow this. he pushed his mask up slightly to rub his mouth and chin, itching to get away from you, and touch you, all at the same time. 

you woke in the morning, alone in your bed, your blanket tucked around you, and the smell of ghost lingering on your sheets. 

days had gone by and you and ghost had been successful in ignoring one another. 

you stood in the training room, plenty of other soldiers around you, either working out on a machine alone or in pairs. you stood on a training mat and huffed. you had decided to keep practicing your combat skills for the chance that another mission would pop up. you wanted to be prepared. only having the skillset of a medic wasn’t cutting it for you anymore. not after what you went through. what if one of the other men hadn’t been there to save you – i.e. ghost.

you were stretching your arm across your chest when hands wrapped around your waist and lifted you up off the ground. a burst of giggles left you as soap spun you around before plopping you back down. you turned to face him. “can i help you?” you teased. 

“actually, thought maybe i’d help ya train for a lil bit. if ya wanted,” he offered. he wore leisure workout clothes and had already set his water bottle down beside the mat. 

“you don’t have to. i’m sure you’d rather–”

“let me stop you right there, lass. i'm offerin’ because i want to. quit second guessin’ yourself.”

you gave him a faint smile. he was right. soap was always right – but you would never tell him that. it would just get to his head. 

“alright. fine, then.”

he grinned and began to stretch. 

thirty minutes must have gone by and you were drenched in sweat as soap pinned you to the mat time and time again. 

“i thought you woulda improved since last time,” soap teased. 

you playfully rolled your eyes and brushed your hands against your sweats, getting ready to go again. “it’s not my fault! i’m trying!”

“well, whatever percent you’re givin’ it, double that.”

you scoffed but smiled brightly at him. you had been so caught up in the moment, you never noticed when ghost had came into the training room. there were multiple soldiers scattered around, so even if you had been paying attention, you still might not have seen him.

he wore gray sweats today and a tight black shirt. a sight you would have got choked up over.

“arms up,” johnny commanded. 

you listened, setting your hands and arms in the correct position that he had shown you earlier. then soap launched at you, and you tried to dodge his attack, side-stepping swiftly. but soap was lithe and nimble. he hooked his arm around you and pulled you to the ground and you let out a yelp. 

you landed on your back and looked up at soap breathlessly. he was nestled between your legs that were bent at the knee. his hands were on either side of your shoulders. 

“now what’re you gonna do, lass?” he teased. 

you smirked and attempted a move he had demonstrated earlier and that you had used when ghost pinned you in this position. you squeezed your thighs around soap’s waist and tried to roll your body. you felt soap go limp, allowing you to more easily roll him underneath you – if he hadn’t, you likely wouldn’t have had the strength to maneuver him. 

soap smirked as you landed on top of him, straddling his hips and giving him a self-assured, satisfied look. 

“don’t look too cocky. i let you move me.”

you rolled your eyes and huffed. “soap,” you whined. “how am i gonna learn if you do that?”

soap’s hands lingered on your hips, both of you blatantly unaware of how intimate you may have looked right then. 

“you’re half my size, lass. so unless you wanna bulk up, yer never gonna be able to move me.”

you shook your head. he was right. 

“i jus’ want you t’know how to execute the basics for now. know t’motions. don’t worry bout anything else.”

“ugh,” you sighed. “you really had me thinking i could best you.”

soap chuckled, and in a lazy motion, he pushed you off of him so you fell to your side on the mat. “never gonna happen, love.”

you pursed your lips and begrudgingly accepted his hand as he hoisted you up. 

ghost was sat across the gym, leaning on his spread-out knees, twirling a knife in his hand as he watched you and soap. you hadn’t felt it, but his eyes were on the two of you the entire time he was in the training room. there was fire blazing inside ghost as he watched you and soap all over each other.

soap was squeezing his water bottle into his mouth, walking towards ghost. “hey, l.t.” he called. ghost’s eyes flickered away from you – who was currently collecting your things to leave – and looked up at soap. he gave him a grunt as a greeting, but that was all. 

“what’s got your panties in a knot?” johnny asked, scratching his scruff as he eyed which machine to work out on next. 

ghost’s hand clenched his knife, his eyes tracing your figure as you left the gym, completely unaware of his presence. he should talk to you , he thought. things had been left… uncomfortable between the two of you. were you friends? did you still think he hated you? were you actually interested in him? could you forgive him for being a jerk? did he even want you to forgive him? were you still embarrassed about him finding you crying in your room?

ghost stood against his better judgment, wanting to follow you out of the gym, but before he could take his first step, gaz appeared beside you, draping an arm across your shoulders, and walking with you out the door, both of you laughing at something he said. 

“fuckin’ hell,” ghost muttered to himself. he slid his knife aggressively into it’s sheath above his sweats and decided to take his frustration out the only way he knew how: overworking his body. 

johnny watched as simon approached some equipment and jumped up to the pull-up bar and began heaving himself up and down with what looked like he was exerting no effort at all. the way he was going at it so hard made johnny wonder if he was okay. 

“ghost,” soap called.

“leave it, soap,” simon replied with a grunt, wanting to drown his inability to digest his own emotions in a workout. he’d rather clear his mind with needless violence, but this would have to do for now.

chapter 8 ➡

[izgnanik-a]

If You’ve Been Waiting (For Falling In Love)

cw: Trans!Simon x Johnny, mutual pining, mentioned homophobia, slight miscommunication trope, first kiss

Don’t like? Don’t read.

Simon always felt lost without direction, and maybe that made him a good soldier. So when he found someone who was willing to guide him without question, he felt like something clicked.

There was some primordial urge within him to just follow, be a good soldier, an obedient dog — he never complained. Especially when the order came from someone as level headed as Captain John MacTavish.

The decorated Captain was not only a great soldier, but a good man.

In the years serving with him, they’d become an inseparable pair. There were shared cigarettes while waiting for evac on missions when they shouldn’t have, drinks shared over hard victories, vicious fights and scars that landed them both in the hospital.

There was a connection so wound tight that there was never a doubt that Simon could just come out with the most outrageous things.

Like when he came out to his Captain.

They’d been drinking a bit, and John was leaned up against him, arm over his shoulder, they’d been sharing laughs and it felt right. It felt safe. It fell out while he was staring up at the side of his Captain’s face.

There was never a moment where John felt unsafe to be around, he’d been courageous and selfless plenty of times. He was a human being who honored his word, who valued loyalty and honesty. He was the people’s hero.

Why would John MacTavish begin with homophobia?

The word trans hadn’t been a common place among the military, but especially when rules mandated that no one tell their people if they were, because it wasn’t the place for it. The military was a place to serve the country, nothing more.

But in those moments of processed drunkenness, and staring at each other, Simon felt his heart pounding in his chest.

That night he cried.

And John MacTavish had been there to comfort him through his terror of rejection.

Nothing changed.

Though Simon had feared the worst, the worst never came. They still smoked cigarettes on long nights, got drinks together, crashed at each other’s places during leave, and had their long talks on the roof of Riley’s apartment complex.

In between missions, MacTavish invited Riley to his place. There was football playing on the TV when he walked in.

“John?” Simon called as he untied his shoes at the door.

“Yeah?” He called back.

Simon followed the sound of John in the kitchen, the handle of a knife in his teeth as he occupied his hands with his dish. “Is that safe?”

MacTavish plucked the knife from his mouth and set it down, “Of course it is. I’m handling it.”

“Let me correct myself; is it sanitary?”

“It’s my kitchen. My sandwich.” He began cleaning up his mess. “Make yourself useful and grab me a drink.”

Simon opened the fridge as John put his condiments back in the door, his chest brushing Simon’s shoulder. He paused.

“Take-away is chicken parm.” He remarked before stepping aside.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing.”

“Why aren’t you eating it?” Simon looked over his shoulder towards John exiting.

“Because I know you will.” He muffled over a bite of his food.

Simon peered back into the fridge with a breath. Working alongside MacTavish had always been handsy. They trusted each other. They were friends outside of their line of work, which was rare. With closure came trust, vulnerability, loyalty.

Simon was a dog with a good owner. And there was nothing he wouldn’t do for him.

But that translated into hard unrequited feelings. Feelings that were considering insubordination. Simon couldn’t let that surface.

“The game’s almost over.” MacTavish remarked from the other room.

Simon grabbed himself and John two cans of beer before saddling on the couch beside him. There was enough space to just feel the heat radiating off of his arms, to get a brush of elbow when he reached for his sandwich in his lap.

Simon kept his eyes fixed on the TV ahead.

“You’re not gonna eat?” MacTavish asked him.

“Not hungry right now.”

John hummed, picking up a can of beer and cracking it open. His attention was fixed ahead, TV glossing off his eyes, and Simon couldn’t help but stare at the side of his face again.

From being on leave for so long, his hair started to grow back in around his neck. The faded hair was now growing in its natural patches down his nape, and growing thicker around his ears. The hair began curling softly on his forehead, Mohawk past military regulations.

His beard was the only kept thing, shaved down to his usual shadow.

He was comfy in his sweatshirt and pants, with his socks a slightly different shade of black from the other, he looked homely.

There had been plenty of domestic moments like these; lunches in Riley’s kitchen, sitting in silence as they passed the kettle in the morning at MacTavish’s, laughing so hard on their backs their ribs hurt while drunk out on the streets.

If there was anyone Simon would choose, it would be John.

John reached for his beer again, gesturing to Simon’s, “Am I the only one drinking tonight or what?” He teased as he passed a glance at Simon, bringing his can to his lips.

Simon felt the giddy anticipation in his stomach at that smirk of his. He took his beer, cracked it open, and chugged until he felt like he was going to shoot it back out through his nostrils. He set it down, empty on the table.

John stared at him. “You alright?”

Simon took a moment. “I’m going to tell you something, and I don’t want you to freak out.”

Staring at the look of anxiousness crossing Simon’s face, John didn’t have an ounce of understand. He shrugged softly, still holding his can. “Okay?”

He was already biting on the inside of his mouth before he could say it. He would say it, he had to. It had been eating at him since the day he’d come out, maybe even before that. And if he didn’t confess now then it would have all been for nothing.

Simon turned his body towards John, knee brushing his thigh, nudging his plate. He looked into his Captain’s eyes.

And he was patient. He was kind. He was willing.

Did he deserve to be burdened with Simon’s emotion? Did he deserve to be given this confession whether he wanted it or not? What if John never thought of him other than a friend? What if he was just a loyal soldier to him? He wouldn’t have allowed him into his personal life if it had been just that.

Don’t be stupid, Riley. Simon thought to himself. Say it.

“God.” Simon shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what? Hey.” John grabbed his arm as he was turning forward, standing.

“Forget I said it. I’m just tired.”

“Sit.”

“I’ll feel better in the morning—“

“Sit.” MacTavish demanded, putting a little tug into the hand on Simon’s bicep.

Simon sat, far much closer than he had before.

“Tell me what’s going on, Riley.” John asked. His voice returned to something soft. He kept his eyes locked on the micro-movements of Simon’s face. His eyes darted along the slopes of scars and flesh. “Talk to me.”

Simon’s bottom lip fell open on words, but they failed him. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he felt like he was behind the scope of a gun on his first mission again. The target was right ahead, but there was some distance between him and them. There was wind, and sun glare, and pressure to make his shot perfect.

MacTavish’s palm against his sternum did nothing to calm him, but his soft breathing against the side of his face brought him in to focus. He matched his breath to the audible noise.

“Good.” John praised. He kept his hand firm on Simon’s sternum, bring his other hand to Simon’s nape. His thumb applied such soft pressure to his trap that it was euphoric.

Simon shut his eyes as MacTavish soothed his hand against his chest in small circles.

“Good.” He praised again. “Nice and easy.” His whisper was something to fall asleep to. It was intimate, warm, sweet as it balanced between Simon’s ears and the hands on his body.

He let an audible sigh escape his nostrils, a soft hum escaping his throat.

“Good boy.” MacTavish squeezed his nape again, soothing his fingers into the base of Simon’s skull. “Now. Try again. Tell me.”

Simon let his chin tuck to his chest, his eyes falling on the circles drawn into his shirt. “I think I am in love with you.”

John’s hands stilled on Simon’s body, and he felt like he’d launched the wrong codes. The nukes were coming, he was a dead man.

Simon forced his eyes shut again. “I don’t deserve to feel that way about you. You’re my captain, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what has gotten into me, and how it happened. But I felt like this for a while. I tried to put it aside for years, thinking it’ll just go away, it’ll pass. But every time I think it’s going away, it gets worse again.”

There was silence behind his words, the TV playing commercial breaks. No cars passing in the street, no people walking their dogs, no neighbors fighting.

Just Simon and his blistering thoughts.

“If you want my to transfer, I’ll do it. I’ll leave you be. Because you didn’t ask for this. You wanted honesty, and I felt like I wasn’t being honest with you. I didn’t feel like I was being honest when I didn’t tell you I was trans. I didn’t feel honest when I didn’t tell you this — but I’m telling you now. And I’ll do anything you want me to. I’ll leave. Never have to see me again. I’ll understand.”

Simon felt the hand on his chest leave.

“It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last—“

Fingers gripped his jaw and he ripped his eyes open to MacTavish turning his head up from his chest. Holding his head back by a hand on his throat, the back of Simon’s head was pressed up against the couch cushion.

And John was kissing him.

John was kissing him.

Soft lips overtaking Simon’s, stationary, just a press of skin. Simon stared at John’s closed eyes in disbelief. Was this to mock him? Kick him while he was still down? He didn’t understand.

John pulled away, just until his lips ghosted over Simon’s, eyes still shut. His hand kept Simon from escape the couch.

“John?” Simon said lowly.

He hummed in response as his other hand dared to tempt at Simon’s hair, smoothing over the top of his head to lean against his back of the couch.

“Why’d you kiss me?”

John peeled his eyes open, keeping them fixed on Simon’s mouth as he clasped his face in his hands. “Because I’ve been waiting for you to.”

Simon furrowed his brow in confusion. “What?”

“I never picked anyone in this team but you.”

“But — you said it was because I was the specialist.”

“You are.”

“And you picked me.”

“I did.” John purred. “And I’ve been waiting for you to make a move, because I was afraid I’d run you off.”

Simon peered along his captain’s face in disbelief, muddled with delight, he felt his chest tighten with every short breath. “How long were you going to wait?”

“Another year. If you didn’t come to me first.”

“You—“ Simon bat his fist against John’s ribs. “Bastard.”

John flinched and laughed, “I thought I’d made it obvious.”

“No. You never did.”

“I’m sorry.” He rubbed his thumbs along Simon’s lips. “I did give you a key to my flat. That’s major.”

“You said it was because you wanted me to fetch you things from your place without having to give me your keys.”

“You have one of your own. Isn’t that something important?”

Simon hit him again, and this time, John gave him a warning squeeze with the hand under his jaw.

“Watch it, Riley. I’m still your Captain.” He teased, gazing down at Simon’s face as his bottom lip threatened to sink between his lips.

“You’re a lousy kisser.” Simon teased.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

MacTavish sunk his hand into Simon’s hair, holding the bottom of his jaw as he hovered over him. “I’ll make up for lost time then with a good one.” He hummed against Simon’s tongue.

Tf141 masterlist

Fic Masterlist

[sleepydross]

Chapter One, Route_B: A Hard Left Turn

A Chapter of the 'SEER' or 'Spontaneous Edifice Emergence / Reification' Storyline. This is Route_B. For Route_A, see the link included.

https://www.tumblr.com/sleepydross/736565213088858112/chapter-one-routea-clerks-too-a-chapter-of?source=share

CW: Gore, body horror, extreme death and dismemberment, surreal concepts, disgusting imagery, a lot of really quite rude words (I said fuck folks Im sorry), implications of loss, plainly stated memory alteration and manipulation, horror in general.

Excerpt, 'Dreams, And Their Implications,' Dr. Alex Sing, 2023

'…The understanding of dreams has come a long way, in recent years. We've seen sleep studies, and brain scans, and complicated medical procedures involving the implantation of probes in the brain and the use of radiological dyes. We have seen brilliant doctors, brilliant scientists, translate the language of the brain into perceptible images, things we can look at to see what people see when they sleep.

What most of you haven't seen is the secret, concealed studies that have been done into dreams and their… atypical side effects on local reality. In a number of cases, highly active psionics (Humans with the natural capability towards psychic phenomenon) have outright distorted reality around them during particularly intense dreams. This is, in fact, a detectable distortion due to the common presence of exotic particles and low level radiation.

In fact, the fabric of reality is what we are here to discuss. Some time ago, scientists working for the Department of Unnatural / Supernatural Knowledge, DUSK, discovered that this fabric could be willfully manipulated - and unwillfully. The very concept of luck is a manipulation of randomness in a local area, not a change in reality itself, but a wrinkling of probability…

And with this discovery came the first breakthrough in direct measure of the fabric of reality.

With THAT discovery, the scientists of DUSK discovered that the latent alterations made by dreams were growing more widespread, even in those not terribly active, those lacking psionic capability. Concurrently, a rise in psionic capability was recorded, and has been recorded every single year since.

But the reason why eluded them, has eluded them. Their experimentation began in 1971.

We have questions.

Did their experiment cause this? Or did they merely expand human consciousness into uncharted waters?

We don't know what could lie in those terrible, black depths, in the ocean outside of our collective thought based tidepool…

However, we are smart enough to fear it, unlike our predecessors.'

"I want to know what the FUCK is going on!" Haller shouted, standing in the action room. The site was deep black, so far off the grid and so unregistered that no one present even had so much as a dress shoe on - the FBI and CIA had erected it for counter terrorism reasons, erected being a strong word for appropriating an abandoned warehouse near a defunct rail line about six hours outside of New York City.

Outside of the blacked out windows, only forest and darkness waited. It was the middle of the damned night, and Haller had just arrived. The helicopter on the roof was already working up to beating gravity into submission, the soundproofing turning the thump-swah of its blades into weak vibrations one could only detect if they knew there was a helo taking off in the first place.

On the main screen, in place on the north wall, she stared at satellite photographs of an area approximately as far from NYC as the black site itself, which was little comfort considering that the area was apparently, very suddenly, taller than the empire state building and approximately a half mile in diameter.

"Ma'am, I assure you, we're trying to figure it out," Agent Muskwe said, quietly. Haller watched him sip his coffee and gesture at the screen. "Ground images."

An image replaced the satellite photos, digitally signed as being taken by field team November, one of Haller's favorite teams. Their names were classified, but she knew-

"What the hell?" she whispered. The image description said that the picture was taken five hundred and seventy yards from the 'border,' which had not been defined in any meaningful sense. All she could assume was that it meant the border of the gray, formless, bizarre zone they had looked at from above - a cacophony of squares and rectangles, impossible rooftop geometries laid in and around and over one another.

The 'border' looked like a wall of roiling, nearly oily fog. The next image was zoomed in, and appeared to show trees near to the border withering, branches blackened and dark and odd - wrong, stripped of leaves, coated in some shiny, slick, dark grease. On this image, the description said that even five hundred yards and change away, it stank like the parking lot of an abandoned fast food restaurant. Colorful descriptions were included, of disgusting rot stink and french fry smell and the hellish scattering of other disgusting odors…

Spoiled beef, rotting chicken, soggy and deeply moldy bread…

These descriptions were wholly unnecessary, but greatly appreciated. Haller needed every detail she could possibly get.

"Skip the pictures. November would've sent video," she said, already irritated when the next image was just a further zoom into the fog. Through it, she could see light, the pictures having clearly been taken in the dark. "Show me that, make sure everyone who needs them gets the images."

"Yes, ma'am," Muskwe replied, and the screen went dark. Moments later, a video frame opened, and then played. Compares to the hardware of the past, it was the highest quality video she'd ever seen, especially on a screen so large - save perhaps in a movie theater. Their video, however, had all sixty frames per second, crisp and clear.

"Check for the recording," November One said. "November one. Steadfast. Check."

"November two. Iron. Check."

"November three. Resolute. Check."

"November four. Eternal. Check."

"Alright, gang's all here," Steadfast, November One, said.

"Christ, this fucking STINK," Iron muttered. "We ought get goddamn hazard pay for this shit. It smells like a rotting corpse tossed in a dumpster near a particularly fucking shit drivethrough."

"Oil and diesel, too… gasoline, maybe propane. Smells like chemicals, under and around it all," Eternal added.

"Button up, whiners. Iron, light rig, take point. Etty, back him up with the shotgun, and don't fuck it up and shoot HIM. Reso, pull up the rear."

"Sir, yes sir!" they said in unison. Haller smiled. She liked November for a reason, a lot of reasons. November One's insistance they call her 'sir' was one of them. Out there, doing the work they did, they had some latitude to be weird. It was better than sitting in a goddamn field office all the time, poring over the most irrelevant shit on Earth.

The feed swapped then, to Iron's lightrig camera, and then… the rig flared on, bathing the fog in shockingly bright light. They marched across the field, orderly and in a line, a weapon in frame now and then as they walked. The closer they got the fog, the stranger it got, less white than before, and then swirling in a shiny, chemical-sick rainbow like a dribbling of oil floating on a puddle.

"Can't do it, sir," Reso said, finally. The line stopped. "I'm gonna pop, man, just fucking howl and puke."

"Professional," Steadfast muttered. "Mask up, though. Making me dizzy, too. Ought to call for hazzies. Reso, get out that vial of peppermint oil."

"It's like White River all over again," Rso muttered - but he complied, dabbing some of that oil on the filters of their gas masks. They sealed the high tech things with faint hisses, lenses shining. The peppermint oil was an old trick, from back in the before times, when Resolute was a nurse. Designated medic suited him better, with a gun in hand. "Feed's a mess, sir. We need to drop the rig. It's too foggy, ought to use mask optics."

"Make it so," she replied. In moments, after shuffling, annoyance, grunting and bad static, the light rig went dark, and then hit the ground. Pale, ugly green flooded the frame, and suddenly… they could see, the footage digitally enhanced and highly processed in near real time. "Better?"

"Clear as day," Reso replied. They returned to their march, approaching that ugly, roiling oil fog again. Through it now, a huge glowing sign could be seen, standing on a thick red pole, like-

"Huh… Megaburger," Haller murmured, baffled by that. She knew the colors, knew the ghostly specter of its shape. Silently, before the fog wall, Iron removed his camera and pointed it upwards without slowing their approach. It continued upwards apparently indefinitely, obscuring everything inside. Weather patterns in the area had gone to shit, it was what first alerted them - something was wrong when they were getting hit by sheets of rain in the middle of a New York winter.

"Rain's warm, what the fuck," Iron spat. "Feels slick, too. Droplets are milky white, contaminated with something… and I can just detect what seems to be a whiff of urine, through the damned mask. We gonna die, sir?"

"Composition from the rapid sample kit said it's just some kind of detergent, gasoline, a bit of oil… also piss, yeah, piss… yeah… it doesn't make sense, but it isn't toxic, mostly," Steadfast replied, evenly.

"Mostly! Wonderful," Eternal replied, sounding exhausted already - but they marched on, into the fog, as Iron reattached his camera. What followed was an engrossing twenty minutes of them walking in a white out, cable-clipped together so they didn't lose one another in the thickness of it. Three times, they stopped to dab new filters with peppermint and stagger their swapouts.

Whatever the fog was, it was clogging them, fast.

That made it all the more surprising when they emerged into the parking lot of…

A Megaburger franchise.

"Stop it," Haller said, and the video paused. "We have record of a Megaburger there? Lavar?"

"No, we don't. Look in the background, though, and around it… No roads. Nothing. The walls just extend outward, and then…" he trailed off, and gestured for the video to be played, and then he said, "pause. See? Suddenly, kitty corner, the bricks change to cement blocks, like… smoothly, and it becomes a Fast Jimmy's, complete with gas pumps."

"What the Hell?" Haller asked. No one had answers.

"Command, do you read?" Steadfast asked. After a long pause, she said, "no signal at all. Local comms working."

"Pull out? Something's fuckin' wrong. This shit wasn't here when we got here, before the fucking fog moved closer," Eternal muttered. "Did anyone transmit the recording, from when the fog moved?"

"Did, yeah," Iron spat. "What's the word, Steady?"

"Sir, to you, dipshit… and no. We don't pull back. No signs of life, no hostiles… we're going into that damn burger joint. I want material samples, though. Etty, split off with Reso. See where those bricks go all… blurry? Get samples there," she ordered. "Something is wrong, so we're going to find out what the fuck is going on. As soon as you have the samples, get inside."

A chorus of 'yes, sir!' met her, and she and Iron marched on, the footage continuing to follow them.

"Do we have footage from the Eternal or Resolute?" Haller asked, and got a displeasing 'nope, no transmit from them, their feeds cut out the moment they split off,' which made her want to put a hole in something. "Fucking why, precisely?"

"Interference, of some kind. That fog, maybe, something about it makes signal transmission inconsistent? We only got all of Iron's footage because… well…" he trailed off, and Haller blanched, falling silent and watching. Like every other Megaburger in existence, the restaurant that Iron and Steadfast were approaching was a squat sort of building with an overly decorative roof of red metal, atop which was perched an offensively oversized, bizarrely cartoonish cheeseburger, and a huge cup beside it. Both were lit up, casting an array of yellows and reds out into the parking lot. This was all largely washed out on the white lines of the parking spots out front by the bright fluourescent light coming through the windows that dominated every wall on the front and sides of the store, stopping right at the line where the kitchen began.

Despite that no one was visible inside, the doors were unlocked, and they pushed through them, weapons at the ready.

"It uh, appears to be a burger store," Iron said, quietly, turning slowly to film the majority of the restaurant in the sweep. Chairs were pushed out, food was piled up on tables, cups were stacked halfway to the ceiling and puddles of dark, bubbling brown liquid coated portions of the floor. None of this, critically, had been visible from the exterior. "Stead, sir, something… this place is a fucking mess. It was not, in fact, a fucking mess looking in from outside."

"I'd noticed, trust me," she muttered. "It stinks in here, like it was just jam packed and they all took a shit before leaving."

Rapidly, the camera approached one of the tables and was brought closer to the food - what was left of it. Huge bites, larger than any human mouth could make, were taken out of massive burgers, each one the size of a dinner plate. Thick beef patties steamed, red on the inside and ruddy brown on the out, too fatty, the 'ground' beef used to make them more akin to strange, mashed together chunks of flesh, a melange of unmistakably…

Meaty, fleshy colors. Biological, awful.

They were burgers in the loosest sense, the buns bizarre and over-dense and mealy looking but with an incongruous shiny brown exterior that looked like it was applied after the fact just to try and make it look good. In place of lettuce, there was some unidentifiable, vaguely leaf-patterned green gel mess, a few squirts of too dark, too bloody ketchup… mustard that was more white than yellow - or maybe it was mayo…

"Sir, this food is fucked up."

"This whole place is fucked up," Steady muttered, tiredly. "Weapon at the ready."

"Sir," he replied, and the shotgun came into frame. He squared up, following her to the counter. For a few long moments, they just peered into the half-shrouded kitchen through a cutout on the wall behind the register, and then Steady shouted.

"HEY! IS THERE A MANAGER IN THE HOUSE?"

The silence that met her in response was almost deafening. Slowly, Iron turned in a half circle, looking around - and then there came a sound, a terrible sort of sound. It overwhelmed the microphone on both his camera and its twin on his helmet, this awful air-raid siren parody that sounded more and more like hundreds of human screams forming this rising and falling tide of sonic ugliness.

As the video feed glitched and static flooded the image intermittently, they saw the building shifting, bricks and glass crystalizing outward in wobbly, overly organic sheets from the front of the store. Rumbling appeared to shake the building, and Iron was forced to grab a pillar to retain his footing. When he hunched, they got to watch tiles splitting and sliding and growing, a wholly unnatural ceramic mitosis.

When all was said and done, the entire parking lot had been subsumed, and the restaurant was twice as large from kitchen to doors, with new pillars erected haphazardly, still sluggishly sliding across the floor tiles towards presumably their final positions. These structural icebergs clawed trenches in tile that rapidly 'healed' in their wake.

Iron rounded as if reacting to something, staring at the staggered Steadfast clutching onto the counter as the tile rippled in bizarre, shattering ceramic waves drifting out from the counter, which itself was pushing her backwards towards the entrance as the behind-counter area expanded. She howled, screaming in agony, arms wrapped entirely around a cash register at that point. Red and pink and dark blackish pooled around her feet, those waves of ceramic shredding her up to the like they were made for shredding. Flaying flesh away from bone was horrifying enough, but something worse was unfolding itself.

Behind the counter, a widening, grotesque door peeled open, the wood flexing apart into shiny tendonous strings and awful flesh as a rose made of meat bloomed forth from within.

That screaming siren continued, grew louder even, and the video distortion worsened until all that could be seen, in the center of the frame, was a figure resembling a human being, if that human being was lit harshly and unevenly from the front, and cast a shadow consisting entirely of flesh, of meat and blood and bubbly yellow fat. The mass the 'person' was stuck to the front of slopped against the wall behind the creature, with the flesh seeping through the access window to the kitchen.

Sounds of hissing and popping made it through as the scream-siren trailed off into silence told them that this creature had carpeted over the fryers in back with gore, not giving a singular microfuck about the consequences thereof.

"What can I do for you?" the terrible, blistered avatar asked, a few moments after the screaming siren stopped. This mocking, sick parody of a human torso was still clawing and pulling its way from the meat mass, and as the stunned operators watched, clothing 'grew' over it. Disgustingly, it appeared to be made of woven hair, a chaotic hellscape of interwoven white and black that formed a button down shirt and a tie that were all one piece. Thick pads of calloused skin came next that blackened into a kind of belt-like construction, whose buckle was dark, blackened fingernail approximating shiny plastic polymer.

This same black fingernail formed an approximation of a tie clip, and then a nametag - unreadable.

There was a face, if one could insult the concept of faces so grotesquely, with a lopsided slash of a mouth where the lips were simply just bloody, blistered, skinless facsimiles, dribbling red and this sickly yellow syrup that made its chin all pink and slick.

"F-Fuck, I was just-" Steadfast said, slurring, sounding half drunk with blood loss and pain, but midword… the building went still, and her voice simply ceased. After a long moment, she half turned to Iron. Her lips parted, and thick black and red flooded out - and then the nearly naked bone of her right tibia and fibia, clothed only in tatters and leaking veins below the knee, broke. She staggered, and the top of her head fell away.

For only a moment they were treated to an awful anatomical cross section of her lower brain before blood covered that up completely.

Iron screamed bloody murder, cracking, and in the last frames they could see a thick meaty tendril draped over the counter, forcing what looked a lot like french fries into the sticky black-oozing meat that kept all of Steadfast's thoughts for her, one by one. With each salty new stick of nightmares shoved into what remained of he brain she twitched, or gurgled wetly.

The last man standing legged it, out into the parking lot, and then into…

Another parking lot, leading towards another building.

Towards a Pizza Jam.

"No, no, NO FUCK NO!" he barked, frantic. The poor man rounded, camera directed towards the burger joint, which was rapidly filling up with what looked like squirming, barely human bodies, a pale pink slurry of meat and breading, and enormous waffle cut fries so big they could've been swimming pool rafts. "FUCK! FUCK FUCK!"

While he shouted fuck several more times, he dug in his equipment pack and drew out a gray plastic box, slamming it on the ground and opening it. In a flurry of movement, he tugged something out, pressed something that beeped, and then jerked the camera off of his vest and turned it to stare in the lens.

"Look, I don't know what you FUCKING SHITFUCKS sent us into, but if you don't find a way to EVAC ME, I am going to haunt you until the end of time! EVERYONE IS FUCKED!" he barked, before setting the camera on what was identified in a small block of text in the corner as a transmission relay meant to burst transmit large quantities of audio visual data. He stood up then, and pumped his shotgun. "I'm getting the fuck out of here. If I make it out… I'll get back, I'll call in, I don't know. I gotta move."

When he stepped aside, they could see that strange plant-like structures were growing rapidly from the pavement of the parking lot. In seconds, they formed into beetle coated monstrosities nearly metallic in apperance. Seconds after that, the crawling, bug-covered blobs resolved into passable (At a distance) imitations of cars.

They then promptly rotted, leaving thick black sludge on the ground, from which more bugs, more plants and more cars began to rise.

"Fuck this," Iron panted, and he booked it out of frame.

The video ran for two more four to six minute cycles of 'cars,' and then… abruptly ended in static, with a disquietingly wet crunch.

For a long, long time things were silent in the action room (which was still just the main, large, open area of the . No one spoke. No one so much as breathed, not in any meaningful or audible way.

Finally, Agent Haller said, quietly…

"Well, what the fuck was that shit?"

"Ma'am, that was the last transmission from Iron. It was digitally signed, with little corruption beyond the visual distortion caused by that… management… thing," Muskwe replied, softly. "I did not feel it prudent to warn anyone of the nature of the footage, as… I was… concerned."

"You were fucking concerned? Muskwe, I'm FUCKING CONCERNED! What were YOU concerned about?" she demanded, a cold, hard edge to her voice.

"I was concerned, to be honest, that I had gone gloriously insane, sir," he replied, evenly. "…and I did not have time to ask one of the others to watch it, to confirm or deny my own madness."

"Well, you're not fucking mad unless we all are," she muttered, tiredly. "Everyone saw all of that, yes? Confirm with a yes or no. We saw a team enter a construction hellscape through a wall of oily fog and then get lost or massacred near a fast food restaurant that appeared, to my highly… highly trained eye, to be a fucking LITERAL NIGHTMARE."

A chorus of 'yes' came, then, like a soft rainfall made out of agreement. Really, Haller had hoped for one to thirty answsers of 'no,' because having simply gone batty would have been much easier and much less terrifying. This, this reality, that they had all borne witness to, was truly quite awful.

It bordered on deeply shitty that it hadn't been, in fact, some manner of hallucination - though that alone might have convinced her to go visit a bureau shrink.

"…so what's our theory?" she asked, softly.

"Theory is so often inadequate in the face of actual answers," a soft, faintly accented voice said. This voice was cool, steady, like a small stream flowing in the coldest days of early spring - and it was faintly processed, oddly digital. "Quite a bummer, really, that all of you are now in the fold. I really do find it tiring to orient newcomers, but, perhaps I will assign that task to someone else."

Every firearm in the room was trained on the newcomer before they finished speaking. This… person, of sorts, stood there right next to Haller - or had been next to, but was then in front of, having Haller's gun pressed to their forehead. All of this was well and good, as they had the intruder isolated and contained under threat of-

Death?

Haller stared at the gleaming lenses, lenses staring back at her. The creature, whatever it was, was covered in metal plating, their head all polished glass that might've belonged to a helmet if it weren't for the exposted struts and odd pistons of the neck that emerged from under their chin and around the base of the jaw.

"What the sam fuck are you?" Haller demanded. They chuckled, a strange sound like chimes and rings layering over one another. It was a musical sound, understandable only as a laugh because this creature's head bobbled a bit with it in unmistakable mirth.

"That is a big question with a complicated answer, Agent Haller - but I am, to keep it brief, a robot of a kind - but not a robot, really. Think of me as a mistake made right, but in the weirdest way possible," they replied, a smirk touching their smooth but undeniably digital voice. "I am Doctor Alex Sing, or… that is the name I use now, to conceptually distance myself from who I used to be - security reasons, you see. I've come to tell you all what you just saw."

"And what, the fuck, is that?" Haller asked, losing her patience rapidly - and she didn't have much of it to begin with.

"A 'Spontaneous Edifice Emergence and Reification' event. We call them SEER events, for convenience," Dr. Sing replied, quite pleasantly, waving their hand vaguely at the screen. "We know precious little about them… but we are aware that this is a new, far worse form than we have yet seen. You will ask for credentials. Here, look at this."

Haller looked, the machine person having produced from seemingly nowhere a badge holder. The badge ensconced in said holder insisted that the good doctor was part of an organization called DUSK - the Department of Unnatural / Supernatural Knowledge. In place of a typical shield and eagle so popular in governmental insignias, this bore a strange kind of… seal, or sigil.

"I've seen this before," Haller said, dizzily. The sigil was a pentagram, but its outer circle appeared to be a serpent, devouring its own tail - and in the central pentagon, there was a familiar sign. Brimstone, sulfur, the Leviathan Cross, in all its distorted, time-twisted glory. "I've… I've seen this…"

"A brimstone symbol? Yes, the satanists are rather fond of it, but we were using it first, before even the founding of this nation and our adoption of the DUSK name," Sing replied, blandly, as if this was all very boring to her mechanical ass self. Haller tried not to stare at her hand, a thing plated and padded to function like a human hand, but with open gaps showing moving metal beneath, rods and pistons and tiny little gears. For a moment, there was silence, and then Sing lowered the badge and leaned in, her camera lenses whirring as apertures tightened. "But you don't mean… brimstone. You've seen the DUSK insignia before? Fascinating, and of course, perfectly understandable."

"How the fuck is it understandable? My head hurts," Haller said, her last as she stumbled back and sat down. Muskwe rushed up, and handed her a handkerchief.

"Your nose, ma'am," he intoned, and she pressed her fingers to it, finding they came away bloody.

"Am I going to die?" she asked, a bizarre dread settling in her gut.

"No! My goodness, now, silly, no. You've clearly been geist hexed, some time in the past. You'll be getting memories taken from you back, which is so exciting, isn't it?" Sing replied, brightly. Silence so profound it weighed down on the room like a flow of molten lead followed this, and the doctor tilted her robotic head. "…or perhaps… not, to normal… people. Well, I will enjoy it, anyway, for your sake."

"Goodie for you. Someone fucking shoot her," Haller muttered. No one moved, so she stood herself, bleeding profusely into Muskwe's hankie, and drew her sidearm. Sing did not so much as flinch at the weapon being pointed at her - instead, she leaned in, peering at it.

"Custom work? Very nice, Agent. That's a real stomper of a pistol, and not remotely enough to do me harm," she said, pressing her 'forehead' to it. "I understand. I've violated protocol, entered a black site unannounced, and freaked you right on out. Go ahead. Blow a hole in me, if it'll help. The faster we get you FBI nerds acclimated, the better."

Haller, in a moment of raw rage, confusion and vague nausea, pulled the trigger. Dr. Sing's head snapped back with a loud CLANK, and then… with several heavy ratcheting noises, it returned to its previous position.

"Very nice," Sing said, one of her 'eyes' shattered, a curl of smoke drifting out of it. "High powered, effective, and you're strong enough to muscle down the recoil. Gorgeous weapon, truly."

"F-Fucking what?" Haller demanded. "You're fine?"

"Robot, nerd. Kind of," Sing replied, evenly, as if disappointed. With that, she clapped her odd mechanical hands together and turned to face the room at large. "Congratulations, everyone. You've been formally recruited into DUSK. Your lives as they were are officially over, bummer, but the pay is fantastic, our insurance is better than you'd even believe, and… you get to know all the things you haven't been told about. Vampires, psychics, magicians, nightmares and pretty little machines like me. Ghosts, demons, people who can alter their bodies, secret dimensions and dark dreams that don't die. Your families will be justly compensated after your mock funerals."

"Fucking WHAT!?" Agent Crenshaw demanded, stepping out of the crowd and stalking up to her. "Fuck you! I have a DAUGHTER! She was just BORN!"

"Then unrecruit yourself, dipstick," Sing told him, dismissively. "Divide yourselves into two groups! People who want to give up everything you have, go over there! People who want to keep your lives and forget this moment… over there!"

"F… Forget?" Crenshaw asked, his pale, watery blue eyes wide with a mixture of confusion and panic. "How?"

"Geist hexing will eradicate the memories, sever the pathways to them in an irrecoverable way, effectively removing it all from your mind. A cover story will be generated, and provided to you upon your waking," she explained, patiently, as if speaking to an infant. The doctor raised her arm, and pointed behind her, the limb at an unnatural angle so that an index finger could be directed right at Haller. "You, of course, have no connections, so you have nothing to lose, Agent Haller. I'd like you on this case."

"You can't just MARCH in here, you fucking ROBOT FREAK, and TAKE CONTROL of a literal FBI BLACK SITE. What I am GOING to do is detain your ridiculous metal ass and then call someone higher up the chain to tell me what the HELL is going on!" Haller all but shouted, thoroughly fed up with the utter helplessness she felt as that robot's head slowly tilted backwards like it had when shot, but slower, until it hung down her back and the camera lenses whirred, apertures tightening as they took her in.

"Agent, I am your superior, now," she said, simply, raising a hand. She snapped her fingers, and then… brought her head 'upright,' again, turning around. Haller ignored this, instead staring at her people, all of her people. They were frozen, creatures carved from dyed ice, flickering crystal effigies of themselves. They looked tesselated, rock candy, like models from some kind of videogame showing their triangles as each vertex undulated faintly outward and inward about its origin. "I really need you to stop freaking out, Haller. You're special, I can feel it, and I need your help with this. This is a problem, Haller, one that will kill people - a lot of people, if left unchecked."

"T-The… meat creatures? The manager, the… fast food place? That'll kill people" she asked, softly.

"There's worse about this than all that. Figments that fully instantiate are difficult to kill, for starters, and it will continue to spread… BUT, you have the ability to convince these people that what they do in my service will save the world. I can't convince them of that," Sing told her, quietly. "Get it together. You saw what you saw. That SEER event ATE your people. Working together, we can potentially reverse it, before it eats others."

"Doctor Sing, if you can just make us forget, why do you need to do this? Recruit us? Recruit me?" she asked, after a long pause in which she approached the frozen-mid-stride Agent Crenshaw. When she touched him, she touched what felt like softly undulating planes of glass, a few millimeters from his skin - but this glass was warm like flesh.

"Because you are necessary. When I have feelings, strong ones, I've learned to listen to them. If we are going to stop this, I… need YOU, Anna," the doctor said. Haller looked to the robot, and didn't bother to ask how Sing knew her first name - no one knew it, that was part of her position. She was an enigma, as fake as fake could be, because it kept her insulated from the threats they faced.

"What did you do to my men?" she asked. Sing approached, and drew from the pocket of her suit jacket a handkerchief. When she dabbed at Haller's cheeks, it came back damp, and the Agent didn't even know why she was crying.

"Nothing. There are six men in stupid robes outside, all of whom are affecting what DUSK calls a 'working,' using what we call a 'castgram.' Your men are unaffected, but in this place, time is having a bit of a problem moving forward, except for us. It's not something done… to them, but to the space they occupy, in a sense," she replied, quite forthrightly. Haller was deeply unsure how to deal with this information, but she was forced to accept it. Muskwe was in the middle of spilling a coffee, and it looked like a cascade of crystal that had made it only halfway to the floor. Touching the undulating crystalline surface just above that coffee, she hissed between her teeth and drew her hand back.

It had been scalding hot.

"Thermal energy makes it out," she said, softly. "They're going to freeze to death."

"Perhaps that's why I need you - you've only just seen what civilians call 'magic' for the first time, and you're already working out the flaws. It's true. In about six hours, they would reach a cold point so deep that unfreezing them would, ironically, flash freeze them - their arrested bodily functions no longer warming their insides and all," Sing told her. "So… return to your previous position. I will signal to the men outside to drop the working. Get your shit together, and ride the lightning into an exciting new career in saving the world."

"You're fucking insane," Haller said, shakily. "You know that, right?"

"I'm afraid sanity and insanity are far more complicated than you have been led to believe, Agent. Want to find out how?"

Haller stared at this machine, this woman, this doctor, this interloper and mystery and strangeness of a person. Her eyes, green and stippled with odd flecks of brown, were wide with a kind of feverish anxiety mixed with uncommon mania.

"Yes, I do. I do, god and fucking Jesus Himself Christ damn me."

"Your Christ has been dead a long time, and his so called father with him," Sing murmured, stepping close to touch the cross that Haller wore around her neck. "But, perhaps he was never your god. This was never your cross to bear."

"How could you possibly know that?" Haller rasped.

"I know what I have to know - and it's tarnished, and worn, and has not been well cared for," the doctor told her, in a soft, slightly processed whisper. "It is not something you love… it's someone you remember."

"I hate this," Haller said, in reply.

"You get used to it," Sing insisted, earnestly.

"Do you?"

"Not really. Are you with me?"

Haller stepped back, finding her feet had left softly glowing blue prints on the floor, showing her where to stand. The mechanical doctor sing reached up, and unscrewed what appeared to be the housing of the camera that Haller had shot out. As soon as it was removed, it started sparking and fizzling, molten metal running off of it. Sing threw it carelessly over her shoulder, and a metal plate slid into place beneath the hole, sealing it.

"I am, if that wasn't clear," the Agent murmured.

"Oh, yes, I had figured."

And the robot snapped her fingers, and time lurched back into motion with a sickening blurring of all lights and figures, and a heavy smattering of air shuddering around them like patches of broken, floating glass.

[hrodvitnon]

This theorized ritual could be very similar to what happens in the film- but maybe with Tiamat needing to act as a conduit for the energy (she connects to her lair and channels the stored Solar Energy into Goji- thus why she ends up injured. Gojirans are more equipped to handle the energy then the Sea Serpents).

This- actually would explain a helluva lot now that I'm thinking about it. In the movie, Tiamat's lair is described to sit directly where the coronal ejections most often strike Earth- so it's been building up solar energy for centuries, and is the second largest deposit of Solar Energy on the planet (minus the literal core of the Planet). I headcanon that Zohar is Solar Energy mixed with some kind of Life-Force intrinsic to Earth (think: Lifestream)- or the force that usually powers Godzilla. This explains why he was sucking up radiation before heading up North- he needed to overload himself with the Earth's radiation so he could get pumped full of Solar Radiation by Tiamat- causing a Fusion Reaction that creates Zohar. This would actually go to explain that 'Consumed a Star' mantra we've heard about Godzilla so much. Except in Abraxas, it would apply to Ozzy because he 'ate the star' around the time the line was written.

Zerm said something too I really vibe with. The ritual hasn't been done in so long because Goji and Tiamat both suspect it's what led to Ozzy going missing (the insane spike of Zohar would alert forces beyond the Solar System, causing them to investigate and see what's up)- but fearing what's coming from the Hollow Earth- they have no choice but to risk it. Plus, the lair needs to build energy after each ritual, so that's another reason why it hasn't been done in so long.

Speaking on Tia's lair- this place may actually have much greater meaning as another temple or sacred place of sorts. Kinda like the ancestral home of the Sea Serpents. Perhaps it's Tiamats' species duty to keep watch and defend this place from Titans and humans until the next King needs it's power. It would also be sorta like a reserve of Solar Energy instead of the actual stock, which is in the Hollow Earth, only to be cracked open and used in emergency times.

Also- neat detail I'm just now thinking about. Coronal Ejections are the causes of Northern Lights. Looking at how Goji's new Atomic Breath looks (which... I think we may be able to now graduate into calling it a Coronal Blast, it's the same equipment that Ozzy has now), you can almost compare the colors to Northern Lights themselves.

On a character level- this could also be a big moment for Tiamat, who has to fulfill her peoples' duty and destiny, while at the same time recognizing it could lead to catastrophe down the road like it did last time (losing Ozzy was already the worst thing that's ever happened to her- even someone like her who pretends not to care can't fathom losing Goji in the same way, she's come to love him too in her own sorta standoffish way). Huge moment for Godzilla too- who's taking the final step towards becoming the King his brother once was, inheriting the power he once wielded to seal Skar and the apes away the first time. With this- he becomes primed to become the next King of Kings; all he has to do is finish the war once and for all and tie up the final loose end that not even his brother got to: Shimo.

Interesting, plenty of good stuff for an AbraxasVerse GxK! I'm also a fan of the Godzilla going so powerful it becomes a beacon for Big Bad Beasties from beyond the stars... the logical consequence of reaching a certain power threshold.

(I would say more but just got off work and the brain is already locking into Finish This Goddamn Fic Mode, apologies!)

[wandersoul8]

Eyyyyyy it’s finally time to share DM-664’s new reference sheet alongside her backstory (I finally got the confidence to share itt!) hope you like it and I hope you like my beloved Kaled-Dalek Hybrid OC 💙✨⚡️

———————————————

Name: DM-664

Nicknames/Aliases: 664, Hybrid, Creature, Failed Experiment, Lightning Rod, Muto, Dalek Mutant 664, Death Merchant 664

Species: Kaled-Dalek Hybrid

Home Planet: Skaro

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Them

Height: 6’5

Sexuality: AroAce

Neurodiversity: On the Autism Spectrum

Personality traits

When interacting with 664, It really depends on who you are most of the time. Though geelllbut some 664’s traits that she tends to show the most are her aggressive, loyal, blunt, violent, and is more reserved. She will occasionally be sarcastic if she feels the need to.

She has a lot of sadness and insecurities within herself which she tries to supress whenever around others and let it out when alone and can’t be seen or heard. though she’ll occasionally let it slip.

As well as that she often tries to hide her fear when encountering people like The Doctor and honestly Davros as well when she eventually encounters him again.

Some of her lesser known traits and traits she’ll grow to have) are currently

Empathy towards others, she’s slowly been developing this since Earth and when she crossed paths with the Doctor.

Only people who manage to get to know her properly will find out that 664 is actually quite respectful to those she likes or she seems as “superior”

Strengths

- Loyal to those she supports, will go to most lengths including putting herself at risk in order to protect those she is loyal to

- Physically strong & great at combat

- Very knowledgeable and smart when it comes to her interests (Creating and using weaponry (specifically long range, bombs, and electrical weapons) Dalek Kaled History, Flora and Fauna of Skaro and select other planets)

- High endurance levels to physical pain, especially high voltage electric attacks/shocks thanks yo the experiments she was put through.

- She also has a natural tolerance to some radiation

- Self Aware of her actions & has her own moral compass

Weaknesses

- Suffering from Long Term Mental Illnesses being Deppression & PTSD

- Forced emotion suppression that can lead to extreme anger outbursts and mental breakdowns

- 664 can be incredible destructive both to herself and to others and at times is often merciless

- can *rarely* handle and process compliments from anyone, especially her superiors (or those she sees as above her)

- Struggles trusting others as she is well aware that most either try to use her for something or backstab her. It takes a while for her to trust a new ally/friend fully because of that

- Despite having skills in the weaponry field, she isn’t very good at using heavy weapons while in battle as they are “too slow” for her to use

- 664 while holding respect for Davros and other Daleks, she does genuinely fear them from time to time

Goals/Wants/Needs:

- To die in a way that she seems “honourable”

- Somewhere to belong & feel welcome

- To be seen by those who know of her as more then just a failed experiment (wants to be seen as powerful & reliable)

- Getting some form of vengeance on those that have betrayed her

- For Davros to recognise her notable achievements & for him to see her as one of his own

(Keep In mind that while Davros has grown fond of 664 over time due to her ability to survive, her loyalty, and skills in weaponry & combat. Even though they haven’t interacted in a long time- when they do eventually cross paths, He’ll rarely show it as it would be considered “weak”)

Backstory:

DM-664 is a genetic experiment created by Davros on Skaro a few years before the Time War broke out. The Hybrid was supposed to appear more Dalek then Kaled.

Due to unknown circumstances she ended up resembling more like her a Kaled Ancestors.

Despite her mindset and speech was more like that of a loyal Dalek.

Following the first days of her existence, DM-664 was experimented on daily by Scientific Daleks as well as Davros and endured many kinds of experiments such as bone removal, replacement and implantation (including one that prevented 664 from screaming even though she always stayed silent), fusing Dalekanium into her bloodstream, and was even used as a live subject for some weapon testing.

664 though, was able to somehow endure it all.

664 was also used as a scapegoat for Davros, and often would get struck on the back from afar by his electrical manipulation which is where she got the lightning flower burns on her back from.

She was also put into areas with other Dalek experiments that would always try and kill her and each other.

After a few more years The Dalek Empire at the time had no more use for her & exiled her into the radioactive wilderness of Skaro which actually turned out to be much better for her in some ways.

During the time she was there she taught herself how to scavenge for small insects & create primitive weapons such as spears & daggers to hunt out of bone that would be used for hunting.

It didn’t all go well though as she did get sick when she had to drink the poisoned water.

the adapt in the different biomes as well as functioning on limited resources.

She traveled a lot in the span of 2 years, even coming across ancient wreckage from the 1000 year war, especially weapons, which sparked her interest in both Skaro's history and weaponry.

664 continued her journey along Skaro and eventually came across a small Thal colony camp (6-10 Thals) that was secretly trying to monitor what was going on in the Dalek city from a distance.

664, despite everything she had been put through was still extremely loyal to the Daleks, devised a plan and eventually took them out mercilessly one by one using the weapons she had created from the bones of animals she had previously hunted. She then raided the camp for what she needed and left.

Eventually the rotting bodies and raided camp from the small Thal colonies got found by a few Daleks while on patrol in the wilderness. A few days after the discovery they were able to trace the cause of the Thal’s deaths back to DM-664.

The higher ups decided that 664 could prove some use to The Daleks.

She was eventually located & was found mildly injured with a broken leg not far from a cliff face.

She was taken back to the city, healed , questioned, cleaned & after 2 weeks of having some of her more “feral” like behaviour being “corrected”.

DM-664 was questioned again & then given a small cell to live in within Davros' lab as well as getting her own custom Dalek like amour and a custom modified gunstick as her new weapon.

From there, she didn't do too many notable things aside from getting frequently used as a test subject and would occasionally be allowed to help Davros out.

She also got proper training on how to use her gun properly and other forms of Dalek weaponry.

At the time, the Daleks didn't have too much of a use for DM-664 just yet.

So they decided to cryogenically freeze her and store her on one of their more secure ships until she had some form is use.

Davros, at this time has actually began to slowly grow fond of 664 due to her interest in weaponry and her survival abilities, though it was never shown.

He ends up giving 664 his sonic screwdriver by slipping into the chamber 664 was stored in while she was unconscious, as he believes that she may get more use out of it.

About 1000 or so years, right at the very end of the Time War. DM-664 is unfrozen & re-awoken.

While she was little confused about the sudden appearance of the sonic screwdriver, she kept it close to her.

She then gets briefed about the current situation and then is put straight onto the frontlines in Arcadia.

Her purpose there was to back up Dalek squadrons and to take out powerful gun towers used by the Time Lords.

Towards the final days of the war, while patrolling with 3 Daleks. They cross paths with the War Doctor who kills all 3 Daleks instantly, leaving 664 the only one standing.

Confused the two stare at each other waiting for one to attack the other for a minute before 664 silently retreats in the other direction confused as to why he spared her life.

On the last very last day of the Time War. 664 having an instinct that things will get much worse from here decides to check out and see what sort of technology from some of the fallen.

She scavenges a small emergency temporal shift device from a casing of a dead Dalek and while toying around with it, accidentally activates it, sending her to Earth in the 2010's.

Unknowingly to 664, the temporal shift device she activated was slightly damaged was able to sub-consciously open her mind slightly to new, “impure” emotions.

DM-664 ends up detained, gun confiscated, & stranded inside an Extra-Terrestrial Detention Centre run by UNIT’s Australian Branch in Melbourne. Thankfully due to 664 looking more like her Kaled Ancestors, she was able to deceive her captors into believing she was something else more humanoid.

Over the span of 8 years, she and many other detained aliens that were considered “low risk” by UNIT were put on a study/re-educational like program where they were made to learn about Human societies & history & other misc skills.

One day, The Doctor eventually gets word about this UNIT run detention centre in Australia and decides to show up to try and put a stop to the operations of the centre, unexpectedly crossing paths with DM-664.

The Doctor confronts and exposes 664’s Skarosian origins in front of UNIT & the other captive aliens.

This news caused mass panic from the UNIT soldiers & a riot from the captive aliens.

While the masses were distracted, 664 and a couple of other aliens slip out of the crowds and head towards the highly secured room where their confiscated alien technology is stored, attacking anyone that tried to stop them.

664 was able to break into the room & retrieve her gun while the other aliens with her armed themselves too and they continued with their escape attempt. Unfortunately the escape attempt was foiled as the Doctor was able to calm both UNIT and the rioting aliens down.

664 and the few aliens with her were located and reluctantly surrendered.

The UNIT centre admins after all of the chaos decides that 664 was “too dangerous” to be held in the centre and they forced the Doctor to take 664 with him in the TARDIS.

The Doctor was open to the idea, though 664 reluctantly agreed and left with what little belongings she had.

She ended up traveling with the Doctor & his small group of companions for a number of years. Seeing new worlds, crossing paths with new enemies,as well as gaining some allies/friendships.

Eventually 664’s time in the TARDIS ended after an unexpected encounter with multiple incarnations of the Doctor and some Daleks shook this current TARDIS team & left DM-664 more traumatised after it had finished.

The Doctor ended deciding that it would be best to say goodbye to 664 for now.

He ended up leaving 664 on a quiet habitable alien forest like planet known as Icarro that was uninhabited by any alien civilisations, only a few species of animals.

DM-664 while still mentally recovering from everything that has happened before, began to take on this new stage of her life & see where it would take her.

[thebreakfastgenie]

Whether you made up a guy or not, I find your post in poor taste. I mean, imagine being on the other end of that. Imagine if that post had been about misogyny instead.

“After seeing this person be annoying online, I realised why people become misogynists. It’s wrong of them and they should get offline and touch grass but you know, I’m just saying, most misogynists are radicalised by meeting an annoying woman. I know this because they said so on Reddit. So I mean, that’s bad and wrong to hate them for that, but it makes you think, doesn’t it? If only this person had been less annoying people wouldn’t hate women.”

Like… I know you were saying TERFs were very very wrong for seeing annoying trans people and becoming bigots for it. But to be honest, that is a premise I disagree with. Yes, many Reddit-using TERFs claim(ed) that they became transphobic because of annoying trans people online… but that’s really downplaying the long history of trans bigotry, not to mention the political forces that radicalise young people into hate groups and bigotry. You are not taking into consideration that someone being annoying or abrasive or claiming to speak for a minority group would not be sufficient to bring down hate groups on them were it not for the social and political forces already marginalising those people.

Or to use another comparison in your post, I might see an individual with a Magen David emoji in their name saying some things I disagree with - and if I was uneducated and too online and needed to touch grass, yes, I might conclude that all Jews are [whatever it said in the tweet]. But I wouldn’t become an anti-Semite who believes Jews run the world and engage in blood libel because of that annoying Jewish person on Twitter. I would become that if I had been radicalised by anti-Jewish hate groups.

You're reading a lot into my post that wasn't there.

For one thing, I know I was mostly talking about online, but the posts I referenced in the "peak trans" threads (what they called it) were often about unpleasant experiences TERFs or TERF-sympathetic people (despite it being r/radfem or whatever, there were a number of posts from cis men) had with trans people in real life. It was just a parallel I noticed. We know that just knowing a person from a marginalized group (there was a recent study on this with trans people) can significantly change attitudes towards acceptance, so I think it's reasonable to hypothesis if someone has had limited interactions with a group and they've been negative it may contribute to less acceptance. Bigotry is often closely tied to fear; this is a similar emotional pathway.

To the main point, I'm not saying this sort of thing radicalizes people the way hate groups do. What I am saying is that toxic social environments like twitter contribute to low-level bigotry and probably prime some people to be radicalized further. It's background radiation that can make people think "maybe the hate groups have a point" or at least not feel particularly strongly about pushing back against them. I don't know why you'd assume I'm discounting other social and political forces. I'm identifying this kind of toxic environment as one social force and analyzing (I use that word loosely because I'm just layperson blogging here) the role it plays in the preponderance of bigotry. I am suggesting that toxic environments like twitter in conjunction with other social forces can result in an increase in bigotry. I guess I didn't think I had to specify that other social forces exist because I thought we all agreed on "systemic transphobia is a real thing."

It's funny that you bring up misogyny, because the interaction I had was on a thread about misogyny. And a random TERF showed up to reply with a TERF copypasta, "look at this dress wearing man talking over a woman about what it's like to be a woman" etc. They probably do that because they know people who are frustrated are more likely to be taken in by that.

What I was trying to emphasize, and what I will reiterate again, is that the onus is on cis people, or whatever other privileged group, to not be poisoned by that background radiation. I think environments like twitter make it easier for people to become bigots but that is not an excuse for bigotry.

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, August 6, 2024

Stocks tumbled over fears of a U.S. economic slowdown (NYT) A wave of anxiety rippled through financial markets today, with stocks falling in the U.S. and around the world as investors zeroed in on signs of a slowing American economy. The S&P 500 fell 3 percent, its worst day since September 2022. The drop brings the index down 8.5 percent from its peak in July, but it’s still up 8.7 percent in 2024 overall. Investors were apparently spooked by a combination of factors last week. Today’s drop extended a sell-off that began after the U.S. jobs report on Friday showed significantly slower hiring, with unemployment at its highest level in nearly three years. The report also followed a Federal Reserve meeting in which officials decided to keep interest rates steady. That fueled fears that the Fed might have waited too long to cut rates, allowing a soft landing to turn into a more turbulent one.

Phoenix: Living with heat (NZZ) If you want to understand what heat does to people, you have to study it where it already dominates life. In Phoenix, Arizona, for example, in America’s Southwest. Nearly every day in July featured temperatures above 43 degrees Celsius (above 109 degrees Fahrenheit), with nights never dropping below 32 degrees. With an average daily temperature of 36 degrees, June was the hottest month on record. The rising nighttime temperatures could ensure that the summer record of 2023 with 55 extremely hot days is broken again this year. After sunset, concrete facades, roofs and asphalt roads continue to radiate stored heat for hours—so much so that people sweat outside until well after midnight. People who live in Phoenix only open the door at night to get some fresh air. If you want to meet people on the street in the city’s residential areas, you have to get up early. Joggers who want to run around the block more than twice set off at half past four at the latest, when it is coolest. Dogs are taken for a walk between five and six, and after sunrise it is rare to see a baby carriage on the street. A greenhorn who has gone outside without a water bottle is kindly but emphatically told by passersby how dangerous this is. You sweat almost constantly in this climate.

Tropical Storm Debby hits Florida with floods (AP) Tropical Storm Debby slammed Florida with torrential rain and high winds, contributing to at least four deaths as it turned menacingly toward the Eastern Seaboard’s low-lying regions and threatened to flood some of America’s most historic Southern cities. Record-setting rain was expected to cause flash flooding, with up to 30 inches (76 centimeters) possible in some areas, the National Hurricane Center said. The potential for high water threatened the historic cities of Savannah, Georgia, and Charleston, South Carolina. Up to 18 inches (46 centimeters) was forecast in central and north Florida. / Something else Hurricane Debby brought: (CNN) Twenty-five packages of cocaine weighing about 70 pounds washed ashore along on a beach in Islamorada, Florida, on Sunday, according to a social media post from US Customs and Border Patrol. According to the agency in Miami, a good samaritan discovered the drugs and alerted authorities. The cocaine has a street value of more than $1 million.

Prime Minister Condemns ‘Far-Right Thuggery’ as Riots Grip U.K. (NYT) Anti-immigration rioters attacked a hotel in the town of Rotherham in northern England on Sunday, breaking windows and appearing to set fires at a hotel that has housed asylum seekers, as riots continued in Britain. The police in cities across the country have braced for continued far-right and anti-immigration protests spurred by a deadly stabbing attack last week in the northern English town of Southport. Disinformation spread rapidly that erroneously claimed the suspect in the knife attack was an immigrant. On Saturday, dozens of people were arrested as demonstrations from Liverpool to Belfast descended into violence. Sunday saw a new wave of clashes, with groups gathering in Rotherham, Bolton, Hull, Southport, Middlesbrough and other towns and cities scattered across the country that devolved into varying degrees of violence.

Bangladesh PM Sheikh Hasina resigns and flees country as protesters storm palace (BBC) Bangladesh's Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina has resigned and fled the country. Hasina, who was seen as increasingly authoritarian, was forced out by weeks of protests that led to deadly clashes with the security forces. She had led Bangladesh since 2009, and took a helicopter to India, according to BBC Bengali. Hasina's resignation comes as thousands of protesters have taken to the streets in the capital Dhaka—with thousands more set to follow, a day after clashes between police and protesters left at least 90 people dead. Demonstrators stormed Hasina's official residence in Dhaka, looting it and carrying away furniture.

Thai democracy (Washington Post) Pita Limjaroenrat is arguably Thailand’s most popular politician—but his career now hangs in the balance. The suave, charismatic figurehead of Thailand’s Move Forward party led his progressive, reformist faction to a stunning first-place victory in general elections in May 2023. But the political establishment in Bangkok, enmeshed in close to a decade of de facto military rule, had other ideas. Conservative forces moved against Pita and his allies, with the Senate, comprised of lawmakers handpicked by the regime, thwarting his coalition’s ability to form a ruling government. Eventually, the Pheu Thai party, one of Move Forward’s erstwhile allies, broke with Pita and joined hands with the same military that had thrown it out of power in 2014. Pita, cast into the opposition, has been subjected to a concerted campaign of lawfare targeting both him and his party. On Aug. 7, Thailand’s constitutional court is set to rule whether to dissolve Move Forward and effectively disqualify Pita himself from holding political office in the near future. The case is centered on Move Forward’s campaign pitch to reform Thailand’s draconian lèse-majesté laws that criminalize critical speech about the Thai monarchy; they are now being wielded by the state to potentially kneecap Pita and his party. The looming crisis spotlights how Thailand is a “competitive autocracy,” as Pita put it to me himself in an interview last week. “An election victory does not translate to governance here.”

Four years after the Beirut port blast, justice is still stalled (AP) Four years ago, Helen Ata got a call from someone she didn’t know telling her that a massive explosion at the Beirut port had caused her building to collapse. Her brothers were trapped under the rubble. One of them, Issam, survived, with a permanent disability in his right leg. Her twin brother Abdo, whom she calls her “other half,” died. The port blast anniversary Sunday comes as the region braces for retaliation after an Israeli strike killed a senior Hezbollah commander in Beirut and an explosion in Tehran, widely blamed on Israel, killed top Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh. For many, the fears of a new escalation come as wounds of the port explosion four years ago remain raw. On Aug. 4, 2020, hundreds of tons of ammonium nitrate detonated in a Beirut Port warehouse. The gigantic blast tore through the Lebanese capital, killing at least 218 people, according to an AP count, wounded more than 6,000 others, and devastated large swaths of Beirut, causing billions of dollars in damages. The blast stunned the nation and a probe by a maverick investigative judge into the explosion shook the country’s ruling elite, rife with corruption and mismanagement. However, years of obstructions by top officials to dodge accountability and stall the probe have hampered hopes for justice.

International airlines have suspended flights to Israel (NYT) Israel went into a new workweek in a state of deep uncertainty on Sunday, with the potential for attacks by Iran and the militant groups it supports already causing disruptions for many. A number of international airlines have suspended flights to and from Israel pending expected retaliation against the country by Iran and its Lebanese proxy, Hezbollah. That has left tens of thousands of Israelis unable to come home, according to an Israeli official who asked not to be named because he was not authorized to discuss the matter. Delta, United, the Lufthansa group and Aegean Airlines were among those that suspended services to Israel. Israel’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs is asking citizens traveling abroad to fill out an online survey to help the government map where they are and try to organize solutions, including alternative commercial flights. Most are believed to be stuck in Europe and the United States.

Israeli Reservists Confront Toll of Protracted War (WSJ) Aday after Hamas attacked Israel and sparked war on Oct. 7, Adi Hazan drove to a rally point in southern Israel and began what he thought would be one or two months of emergency military-reserve service. Nearly 10 months later, the machine-gunner is still deployed—and the rest of his life is in shambles. His construction business is failing, he is sinking into debt, and his family relies on handouts from friends and charities. And he doesn’t see an end in sight. A small nation with fewer than 10 million people, Israel relies heavily on reservists such as Hazan to keep its military functioning in times of crisis. But now, with the war in Gaza heading into its 11th month, and long-running exchanges of fire with regional militias such as Hezbollah heating up, many of those fighters are close to a breaking point. Exhausted and in some cases demoralized, they are struggling to balance family and work with military service, while the economic toll from their absences mounts. The strain on military manpower is one reason Israeli officials are hesitant to launch an all-out war against Hezbollah, which would require the same cohort of weary reservists to fight against a military power far superior to Hamas.

Israeli Strike on Gaza Shelter Kills at Least 30 and Injures Dozens (NYT) An Israeli airstrike on a school functioning as a shelter in Gaza City killed at least 30 people and injured dozens more on Sunday, according to the Palestinian emergency response agency in Gaza and Palestinian news outlets. It was the third attack on a school in the last four days. Most of the victims were women and children, said Mahmoud Basal, a spokesman for the Palestinian Civil Defense. He said that an F-16 fighter jet hit a school called Hassan Salame, where at least 14 people were still buried under the rubble. Shrapnel and debris also hit a neighboring school known as Nasser, he said. The death toll was initially 25, but rose to 30. The Israeli military said it had targeted “terrorists” in “Hamas command and control centers” located at the Hassan Salame and Nasser schools. It said it had taken “numerous steps to mitigate the risk of harming civilians” before the strike, including using precision munitions, surveillance and intelligence, though it did not specify how it had done so.

Nigerian protests fizzle out amid deadly police crackdown (Reuters) Protests against a soaring cost of living in Nigeria ebbed on Monday as few people turned out in major cities after security forces used lethal force to quell demonstrations. Hundreds of thousands had taken to the streets in cities including the capital Abuja and the commercial hub Lagos demanding relief from economic hardship and widespread insecurity in protests which started last Thursday and were meant to continue until Aug. 10. Amnesty International said at least 13 people have been killed in clashes with the police since Thursday. Police have put the death toll at seven, blaming some on accidents and an explosive device. A firm police response and a call for a protest pause by President Bola Tinubu have dampened the demonstrations.

[eatmangoesnekkid]

I know we think of features as physical things but some of our best features may be energetic. The energetic always inform the physical beauty and sustains it anyway. 😘

…also my best feature is being able to give most people grace and not need them to be perfect in any way…I am more led from my highest truth, which is the heart, far more than the ego that will always have a difficult time letting things go and not holding grudges. This can only be valid when the heart is truly open and there is no negligence or abuse involved in any way. Being led by your divine energy is not easy and requires a lot of courage because what you will be up against is living in a world where most people are led by their ego and will expect you to be the same way.

Divinity is our true nature in our human form and humans emanating divine energy naturally carry a sense of resourcefulness and confidence, not looking for someone to blame. Divine energy is ancient, timeless, ageless, and regenerative and moves us beyond the worst circumstances into more love, joy, and internal and external harmony. There are forces on the planet weaning us towards being less interested in or capable of accessing our full bodies, becoming less human, because this is where our divine energy lives. “Less human” means that we become more congested, atrophied, superficial and plasticized from being filled with all kinds of poisonous and artificial substances that lower our capacity to tap into our divine intelligence of the universe. The battle and pull towards being less human is so strong yet easy to go unnoticed because we have so many distraction and diversions around us on every level of existence that keep us more separated and fighting against one another than coming together. Such a brilliant plan! But not even soulless AI or the transhumanism movement can touch the potency of our human divinity —which can only be accessed in relationship to the body, and the body in relationship to nature and other bodies. And more and more humans becoming aware of our divinity is what the inorganic beings that oftentimes possess human bodies do not want to happen. These beings can have larger following on social media and refer to themselves as “The Mother Goddess”or whatever. They can be our family members. They can be our pastors and doctors.

No surprise that Abrahamic religions like Christianity teach us to omit and ignore the body, to see a plump female body as tempestuous, sinful or nasty, and just pray to a male God in the sky for salvation. Having your energy and mind intact to clearly discern will be key to your quality of health and wellness in the future. If you don’t have harmony in these areas, you will have to begin to deeply trust in the vision of those who do as you become more hydrated at a cellular level and rebuild your body —joints, ligaments, feet, legs, hips, ‘ sight,’ scalp and hair follicles (antennas and nervous system), pussy, pelvis, brain, etc., and craft a real, truthful, non-social media-driven Goddess relationship with nature and the sun, your energy and body begins to naturally repair and regenerate themselves. Then you too can help someone who can’t ‘see’ well at this time, begin their processes of doing so. This is my vision for us all. And once you start to wake up from the amnesia and truly ‘see,’ you will never not ‘see’ again.

When you see a person walking down the street with in their human divinity in an aura of resourcefulness and relaxation, instead of fear, anxiety and hopelessness that our society pushes upon us that live inside of, don’t you just want to know who they are and why and how they radiate such joy in this chaotic, highly cortisol-driven world? It’s because of the vital non-arrogant energy they are walking with and the accompanying divine knowing they hold in our tissues that have real life effects on the psyche of onlookers. At our deepest core, we all desire to experience the fullness of what it means to be truly alive in human flesh and form.

But when you are led by ego, and you see this type of person walking alone, especially a woman, as if she is keenly aware of her body, her spine, breasts, feet, and hips, and the life force (erotic) energy they contain and does not live dependent on coffee to supply her body with vital energy, you become at odds with her, wondering ‘who does she think she is?!’ She is God —like you are—and she is also evidence that divinity is our truest nature, which is the last thing that religious institutions, academia, and other institutions of power would want us to know about each other.

Your aliveness, your life force energy, your erotic plump divine energy is the most important thing and fortunately it can be generated and cultivated to shine brighter. Because being self-regenerating and resourced is abundance. Needing something to supply you with energy, particularly when you are not chronically ill or in chronic pain, is scarcity.

We have to get honest with ourselves if we are ever to truly elevate into living from the heart and tend to our obsessions and addictions. This mastery will require your lover but also your warrior spirit. I stay coming home to my body which is coming home to my aliveness. Every thing I am, all the love, life, adventure, dance lessons, traveling adventures, romance, success, peace, rest, flexibility, strengthening, relaxation, softness and doing what I love every day is because I am always coming home to my body as a lived experience and opening wide to more and more life. All my solutions and next-step directions arrive from being held deeply within this wellspring of internal wisdom and merely listening to it.

I mentioned the part about coffee not to shame anyone who drinks it. The need to shame is evidence that one is living in poverty consciousness. It was, however, a very honest statement. If you drink coffee and you really love it, then my Love, there is no need to feel wrong or bad. My advice is to not drink it on an empty stomach first in the morning. Have something to eat and some water or juice first, then enjoy your coffee with all manners of delight afterwards. Feel good while drinking it and it will then produce a smaller stress response of your nervous system and help resolve the war inside. To do things we love and adore and find kinship with is also a form of love, care, and service to self. Everything doesn’t have to be a battle when you can relax and enjoy what is. And ultimately we were never meant to perfect or love so strict and restrictively even though all things have an effect that we can lesson the impact of with our conscious intention. And when you begin to live more mindful, you may find that one day a habit or pleasure that was once there has dissolved and is no longer present as true for you.

Every page petal of this book series demonstrates how to build and craft your aliveness in every way possible.

pps—on sub mind: when you make the conscious intent to evolve your conscious mind which a. takes a lot of work b. Yet everything in your life will also change because you begin to craft a new foundation that the old you can no longer stand on similar to rebuilding a home at the base layer. You can heal or recalibrate a lot in your body and life when you become devoted to creating a new foundation through any combination of, grounding, visualization elongating and bringing more spaciousness to your internal body, squatting heavy like a boss and brining more strength to your root, regenerating ankle hip and knees, crying, etc.

I accidentally deleted your question—but my best feature, if I read your question properly, is that I don’t take too many things too seriously. I try not to live so much in my head and fully live and play more in my body no matter what may be going on and know that I am safe and held in my experience. Constantly living in the exhaustive tasks of thinking, analyzing, and processing create a level of 'noise' within the female body that inhibits it from achieving deep regenerative rest, the quality of rest that I center in my everyday life. We craft high-quality rest in our lives, when and when the clouds of grief or loss sneak in out of nowhere, our bodies instinctively know that they are capable of restoring, rejuvenating, and regenerating. Everything I do in life, I do it for our foremothers who did not have the time, rest, peace, or space to receive these higher teachings of how to thrive in a female body because they were too busy trying to survive.

My heart tends to stay lighter than most. I am always jumping, twirling, and sassy-ing, and finding new openings and depth in my body instead of deferring to my head for solutions. Having that feature is an ongoing love story, I find! I see life as transient and fleeting so I am often aware of my own impending death (that sounds so morbid and terrible to read in words, but it's true).

Five percent of our conscious mind influences and directs our daily life, but 95 percent of our unconscious influences and directs our day-to-day actions and creates our reality. In other words, we must begin to believe at the unconscious level that we deserve the very best in this lifetime--a beautiful healthy body or a great love affair-and naturally and instinctively begin to birth it. If we have a womb (or energetically womb if surgically removed), we have even greater birthing power.

...a positive perception about whatever you are going through life is incredibly regenerative and impactful...rebuilding your subconscious mind is key.

I unconsciously tend to ground myself in the truth that one day I'm going to die, which allows things roll off my shoulders easier and gifts my body with more LIFE. I am sincere in my desire to enjoy my time while I’m on this earth plane in this physical vessel no matter what.

I am a lila woman therefore I tend to fuck a lot…."make love with life," is what I'm talking about...giggles! :)

We have to wake up from the amnesia we have fallen into and remember what it means to be female upon the earth and what our purpose is: to make love with life. I am always "making love," doing what makes me feel fully alive in my tissues. And when you live a life of "lovemaking" --bringing the energy of love into nearly everything you do, then everyone and everything benefit.

We have to be deliberate in divinely planting seeds of joy into our everyday lives because a life that's growing and elevating will also have challenges and tons of things to check off the to-do list. Therefore, if I’m cooking, I’m usually having a good time and finding something to laugh about while doing so. If I am making love in a bed, I’m in it with all my vulnerable heart and soul for the life and breath of me. If I'm about to jump into a cold pool --which helps to relieve any inflammation in the body and stimulate the vagus nerve, I do so while leading with love and deep breathing way into gratitude for the regenerative moment and I dare not complain. If I'm biking in the cold rain to dance class, I start singing my favorite song at the moment out loud. If I’m pole dancing—the same mathematics apply. I’m the one moaning on the pole to usurp greater strength in a difficult moment. I perceive myself in all my experiences, in love, as love, transmutation as a lived experience. Because we are here to do amazing things and have aims and objectives in life, but we are also here to feel really delicious in our bodies and lives while reaching them in real time and get our bodies luscious and well

....God is in the present moment.

Not taking the present moment in front of us for granted gives birth to a fluid matrix of limitless possibilities. Some people feel very comfortable and safe listing all the ways and reasons they are limited. But you can create a warm beautiful container that allows you to regenerate and create new narratives which by definitation makes you limitless. All that childlike excitement that awakens and creates more tingles and internal space and lubrication as a result of you feeling like more is possible beyond your current experience will help you to break through the brittle and cold, the mental fog and body fatigue, and the frustrations and lack.

the more you hate your body, the more your body becomes a thing to hate...in order words, energy impacts matter, how you think matters and become matter.

I have not always been the way I am. I grew up pretty left-brain and always in my head calculating and have degrees in accounting and science. Something major shifted in my tissues when I had my kundalini awakening in a forest almost 17 years ago while alone. I l do believe it was a kind of mother wit or deeply cervical mother's love...I'm still trying to find the proper descriptive words. After that moment, I became more lighthearted, an old soul and youthful spirit emerged greater than I had ever known myself to be. After that surreal experience in the forest, even though I was still climbing my way out of struggle and lack frequencies, I would play and twirl and get back into my body and experience sweetness and bliss no matter what foolishness I was going through--the heart of a child/lighthearted energy. An orgasmic frequency. A great death a great love story. Sincerely living with a higher frequency beyond what my life was actually reflected in my life instigated my quantum leap. I saw the scarcity around me an initiations and not permanent fixed states. I always knew one day I would transcend. It's like Donna Summer said something to the effect of "when you have something great, it's only a matter of time." I would going through the craziest times but had an attitude where I refused to wait to enjoy my life--what was in front of me, and would be hula hooping and giggling to release any stuck energy from my heart and belly. That's the spirit I felt in me while working 55 hours per week at a job I hated most days and in a relationship that was imploding. There are sacred times in life where life is just hard and you have to do what needs to be done while still discovering pleasurable ways to adore life as it is and where it is going.

More than "woman" I sense myself as a fairy woman—Priestess, Temple and Wisdom Keeper, Seer, and Medicine woman from the Lover-Warrior template and Mother lineage I channel and translate from. I'm deeply rootsy with dirt on the bottoms of my feet which builds immunity and a self-cultivated larger capacity, as devotee to Kundalini, the Shakti fire, that deep cervical love. I participate in life through my own body and I am not hijacked by the limitations of my mind or this world. I certainly have proud unifying moments where I weep and howl alongside the rest of the world in kinship and what’s also true is that I’m not of this world like one of my divine mentors "Sun Ra" spoke and am unwilling to miss out on the here and now most days.

...your warmth of love is essential...warmth = love....and heat is always essential for repair and regeneration. and there is no time and space...everything is possible.

I let the world’s wickedness ignite my fire and heart and discover the wickedness living in me lurking in the shadows that needs to be integrated. I drop timelines and tend to the ancient-future projections. These are some my best features. Life is my mirror. I hope I answered your question right —your words were beautiful! Poetic! Great writer....I was so stunned by your language that I hit the wrong button. Thank you Anonymous! 💜 —India

[lou-struck]

Haunted House

Wakatoshi Ushijima x Reader

Flufftober Day 4: Haunted House

~ you hoped you would really be able to scare your boyfriend at this haunted house, but it really came back to bite you in the butt.

The grip you have on Your boyfriend's massive hands is deathly, but he seems unfazed as he drags you through the hallowed halls of the haunted house.

Another actor jumps out at you and you hide your face in his sleeve in fear. Wakatoshi stands strong, unblinking, and unemotional as he stares over at the man currently dressed as a masked killer.

His olive eyes drift downward to the chainsaw the man is currently waving at you. Gently brushing back a strand of your disheveled hair from your face he speaks. “Y/n, this chainsaw can’t hurt you, it doesn’t have a chain in it.” He says it’s so kindly that you wanna punch him. But you have no one to blame but yourself for your current situation…

It all started the other night when the two of you were watching One of your favorite scary movies. He had never seen it before and so you were hoping to give him a little freight during one of the jump scare scenes.

But by the time the scare came and went, his expression stayed just as passive while you once again sprang from your seat in surprise.

‘Some people are just good with scary movies’ You thought to yourself, ‘Maybe if he was jumped at in real life he would react.’

This led to you buying tickets to one of the city's most famous haunted houses, this warehouse features dozens of rooms and scene changes that lead visitors through a maze of horror. But now you’re the one getting scared and not your boyfriend.

“Do you want to keep going? You look uncomfortable.” He asks.

You really don’t want to keep going, the jump scares this far have put you on the edge, The beating of your heart seems to shake your body and your legs are feeling a bit weak. But you are motivated by curiosity and a little bit of spite. Wakatoshi Ushijima has never been spooked before. You have to see what he would look like.

You clear your throat and look up at him with the termination. “ yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go.” He nods and the two of you step further into the building.

Even though there are other people making their way through the house, it’s quiet. Artificial fog fills the air as it bounces off the dimly lit walls.

There is a sinister chill that grows on you more and more as you make your way through the house. Your previous determination figures like a candle in the wind as you find yourself shivering. It’s much colder in here than it was in the line.

At least you have Wakatoshi with you, he stands tall and his body radiates heat that makes you cling to him more. "Are you sure you're not afraid?"

You say nothing and continue to follow behind him leaving the sounds of screaming and revving chainsaws behind you.

The next scene you make it to looks like a doll house, everything is frilly, pink, and, pristine. Its innocence is unnerving in a way the other rooms were not.

Your shoulders tense as you scan the room trying to find the horror hiding amongst the unblinking porcelain dolls.

"I don't see anything in here," you mumble "Maybe the actor is on break?"

Ushijima hums and looks around, "I see, then we should move on.”

You take an all too eager step toward the exit and suddenly an airy giggle fills the room

"Are you leaving me already?'

Your eyes dart around anxiously trying to find where it's coming from until something catches your eye. A large doll, no, a puppet ascends from the ceiling on two large silk ropes. Its cracked features and sickeningly sweet grin strike a new type of fear in your heart. There are no sounds that you could utter that would be fitting of how you are feeling.

Your legs give out from under you.

Now on the floor, you look up at your boyfriend who looks down on you with a look of worry.

“Are you alright?” he asks gently crouching down to your level. As the actor apologizes for scaring you so badly behind him.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine." You murmur trying to catch your breath.

"You hold out your hand for him to help you up, but he opts instead to just scoop your scared self off of the carpeted floor and holds you in his arms.

"You scared me," he says softly "I'm gonna keep you close so we can get out of here."

"You were sacred?" you say cracking a bit of a smile.

Your legs may feel numb, and you have been tormented by clowns, killers, corpses, and dolls for the past hour, but you finally did it. You scared Wakatoshi Ushijima. you giggle a bit and nestle yourself into his strong chest. and you giggle triumphantly.

"What's so funny?" he asks confusedly.

"It's nothing," you smile "Let's get out of here."

~

Once you make it through the house and out the exit he places you on the ground.“ I found that quite enjoyable,” he says cupping your cheek.

“Why?“ You pout, “The house didn't scare you at all.”

“I wasn’t scared, but you were.“ he says, his lips turn upwards with the smallest hint of a smile. “ I enjoyed having you in my arms like that, I think that we should do it more often.“

[bonky-n-steeb]

i think Loki needs a flower crown, so what if you made him one? Would he like it or not?

Thank you so much for this request! This made me soft.🥺 I hope you like this. Ily! 😘

the flower crown

𝙡𝙤𝙠𝙞 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || fluff and a little bit of angst.

this is not proofread :/

This gif is so 🥺🥺🥺

It was the New Year’s Eve on Asgard. A new year of hope and happiness was about to come and everyone was rejoicing.

And unlike earth, one of the traditions on Asgard was to give gifts to the royal family. From the kings to the little princesses, the commoners gave little tokens of appreciation.

The maidens used to make jewellery from flowers for their princes while men used to offer their craftsmanship. This year was no different.

Almost all the members of the royal family were bestowed with gifts. At the end of the day Thor was covered in fragrant flowers while Odin and frigga had collected pots and metals. Everyone except Loki had some gift or the other.

After all the deeds he had done the previous year and after the fact that he was a frost giant was revealed; no one dared to give him anything. Some out of fear as to how he’d react, while the others refrained due to their outright hate towards him.

Loki always maintained a calm composure in front of others. He pretended in the court that the gifts from those peasants were beneath his level. That he didn’t need their appreciation, he was a god after all.

But beneath the cold exterior, his heart ached. He desperately wanted someone to give him anything; even a stone would mean a lot. And all this proving the very point he was fighting for: he wasn’t Thor’s equal.

As the night approached, the festivities all died down and he retreated back to his chamber. And all he hand in his hands was one delicate bracelet given to him by his own mother.

He would keep it safe and close to his heart. But the fact that no one else cared enough for him, made deep cuts.

“How was your day, my Prince?” You inquired as he entered his bed chambers. You were waiting for him there all day.

Being a servant, your duty was to keep his room the way he liked and cater to his whims. But Loki wasn’t like one expected him to be. He pretended to be arrogant but despite that he did things no one else would do.

He asked if you were okay on the days you were sick and gave you a day off. He asked if you’d had your lunch and he noticed little changes like when you trimmed your hair.

These were the things that people overlooked. Running after big things, people forgot how precious caring for someone so much that you noticed all the small details was. And you couldn’t stop your heart from falling for him.

“How would it be?” He asked incredulously. You could feel the disappointment radiate out of the Prince. He had nothing except for the beautiful bracelet clutched in his hands and you had an inkling who it was from.

“I have something for you.” Loki’s eyes shot over to you as you looked at him shyly. You didn’t know how he’d react; whether he’d be happy or whether he’d think it was childish.

“What?” What would you have for him? He noticed how your hands were behind your back as if you were hiding something. Your hands trembled a little as you brought them in front of you.

Loki’s eyes widened then watered as he saw what you were holding gently in your hand. A flower crown. “I… I made this for you.” You had spent the entire day collecting and then weaving the flowers in a delicate pattern.

Dahlias, daisies and carnations made the main portion of the crown, while hydrangeas were filling the remaining spaces. It was the most beautiful crown Loki had ever seen.

He quickly wiped off the tears in his eyes and cleared his throat. “Thank… thank you.” Loki said accepting the gift. You couldn’t believe the god of mischief just accepted your gift and thanked you.

But before you could say any further, he dismissed you with a flip of his hand. Nodding, you walked away, only to peek back into his room through the small slit in the door.

You wanted to see what he did with it. Did he throw it away? Did he mock it? Did he wear it? You stood with bated breath as he got up walked towards the mirror. He stared at the crown for some moments before finally placing it on his head.

You gave a small squeal as you saw him smile at the mirror. Loki was treating it as if the crown was made of gold. You know that no matter what how cold he appeared to be, this man had a heart of gold.

Loki finally allowed himself to cry when you were gone. The crown was truly one of the best things he’d received. He couldn’t believe you cared for him so much.

He couldn’t believe that after everything had happened, there was this one person, you, who thought he deserved happiness too. He didn’t feel so alone anymore.

He couldn’t ever tell you, but he loved you. Since the day you had entered his life, his life was much brighter. But you didn’t belong together.

He was a monster and you were the only good thing in his life. If you ever got together, he would taint you too. And he wouldn’t be able to live if he ever dimmed your light.

So he did what he knew best; he hid his feeling and saw you from afar. Hoping that one day, one fine day he’d finally have the courage to tell you the truth.

[comfortscripts]

Hi <3

Could you do how each Marauder would kiss you for the first time? Like the confidence levels for each would be soooo different I think and just the way they'd go about it, idk but yeah

First Kiss ¬ Marauders

Of course! Honestly, I have so many thoughts but....

Also for this, I just did James, Sirius and Remus but I am willing to do other Marauder era characters (including girls) in the future.

James Potter

"Honestly James, it's embarrassing at this point. Just admit I'm the better keeper"

This had been going on for years. Both of you claiming to be the best keeper in Hogwarts, neither willing to submit. Some say it's rivalry, some say it's unresolved sexual tension but whatever it was, you and James loved it.

"Let's make this interesting, shall we?" The Gryffindor retorted with a smirk. "Whoever saves more goals during practice wins and that's the end of it."

"Okay, deal Potter but if I win, you have to stand up in the Great Hall and announce that I'm the best. Got it?"

You see the flash of fear run across his face before he responds with his same cocky smile, "And when I win, I want a kiss."

Before you could make some form of objection through your flushed cheeks, James was already in the air and prepping for the friendly competition.

You were both on fire. The pitch replicated a professional practice rather than a school-sports one but for every one he saved, you saved two. Whilst you did sometimes long to feel the Gryffindor's lips against your own, the idea of him praising you so publicly was too good to give up. And it seemed like the push worked, you won.

Landing back on solid ground, the two sweaty keepers reunited. James' couldn't even be upset at his loss when he saw your face. Pride beaming through your smile as your flushed cheeks framed it and your skin glistened. You were magnificent.

"Good game, I guess you really are the best" Offering his hand out for good sportsmanship hand shake.

Grabbing his hand and closing the space between you, now chest to chest. "I think you deserve a consolation prize for your efforts today, Potter."

The collision of your lips against his was more thrilling than any quidditch match. Pent up tension releasing in waves as you feel the bespectacled boy get over his initial shock and lean into the kiss. Lips melding and moving together, all whilst allowing your hands to grip his broad shoulders. Pulling away to regain your breath, you look up at the flustered boy as he too, steadied his breathing.

"Well, I think in some ways we both won" Joked the red and gold keeper. Causing you to giggle at his cheesy flirts.

"I guess so but you still have to do the announcement. Maybe you should wear my house colours for effec-" Before you could complete your sentence, his lips were back on yours. Not that you minded.

Sirius Black

Hogwarts was a soothing place in general but nothing could beat the astronomy tower. The atmosphere, the fresh crisp air and the silence meant that it was almost the perfect way to escape. And tonight, that's what two young Gryffindors needed.

Leaning against the brick tower, you let out a sigh of relief. Worries and fears washing from your bones as the stars shimmered in the sky and your best friend blew a puff of smoke.

"You what's crazy, the stars have seen everything. Love, happiness, life but also pain, suffering and death. Yet they still shine so brightly, it's inspiring."

Sirius was never a stranger to profound thoughts, especially on these late night excursions but this shook you. Pushing off the cold wall, you shuffle towards the dark-haired boy before sitting shoulder to shoulder and admiring the stars alongside him.

"You're right. I guess that's why you are named after a star."

You knew how much pain the boy had bundled up within himself but still, he could outshine any star in the galaxy. He had endured more pain than he could ever deserve but still managed to light up people's lives and make people feel more love than most.

Sirius swore his heart stopped at your words. His brain was telling him that it was obviously you hearing him wrong or a joke, he managed to choke out a small "What do you mean?"

Turning to look at the oblivious boy, you could almost chuckle at his adorable furrowed eyebrows and quirked smile but instead, you offered the truth.

"Sirius, you are a star. You have been through so much that I couldn't even begin to imagine but every day, you get up and make the most of life. Bringing smiles to peoples' faces, making all of us laugh with your pranks, loving your friends and protecting us no matter what. You are the impressive one and honestly, those stars pale in comparison to you."

Gazing into his eyes, you saw emotions swirling through his stormy orbs. Processing your words and conjuring up a reaction but nothing seemed right. How could he respond to you? His love for you already threated to spill out every time your eyes met but now, he worried that opening his mouth would release his confession.

As yours eyes stayed locked onto one another, neither of you noticed your bodies unknowingly leaning towards each other. Sirius notices your eyes flicker down to his lips, this was all the confirmation he needed before leaning in and meeting your supple lips.

The love that radiated off the two of you was more powerful than any spell you had learnt. Feeling the warmth spread through your being as Sirius deepened the kiss, trying to get closer. His arms wrapped around your waist as he drank in your sweet lips. You felt all the hidden emotions, all the pain and sadness of the night drift away into the distant sky.

All that mattered was you had Sirius and he had you.

Pulling away only to find yourselves lovingly embracing the other, protecting your bubble of happiness just a while longer. Sirius always knew that you made him shine brighter but now, he felt that he could outshine the stars.

Remus Lupin

Rainy evenings were always your favourite. But tonight was perfect.

James, Sirius and Peter were off pulling a prank on some unsuspecting 2nd year Ravenclaws, whilst you and your long-term crush were huddled up in the common room with two muggle books and two steaming cups of hot chocolate. You had no idea how the lanky wizard looked so comfortable on the sofa but you weren't complaining as you felt your knee bump his every once and awhile, sparks erupting at the physical contact.

Diving into the pages of the latest muggle book Lily gifted you, becoming so lost within the words that you didn't notice the chocolate moustache you had left after your previous gulp. The rich chocolate liquid which formed a frame over your plump lips caught the attention of Remus, who had be sneaking longing glances at you all night.

Your book induced trance was broken by Remus' hearty chuckle, a sound that you could listen to on repeat. Breaking away from the words, you looked up to find the werewolf already looking at you with an amused look painting his handsome face.

Immediately becoming conscious of the fact that the amusing thing was you, you released a small whine, "Remusss, why are you laughing at me".

"You have a bit of, well. You have a hot chocolate moustache"

Eyes widening in embarrassment, you quickly attempt to wipe away any chocolatey remnants with your sleeve before presenting your face back to the taller boy and asking, "all gone?"

Scooting over so he was looming over your figure, hand resting on your knee to steady himself. Remus reached up to gently wipe away the remaining flecks of chocolate that settle in the corners of your lip, allowing his thumb to caress the outline of your bottom lip.

The moment seemed to last forever, with the both of your eyes locking together as the young Gryffindor cautiously traced the outline of your jaw before entangling his hand within your hair, bringing your lips together.

The overwhelming sense of emotion accompanied by the rich lingering taste of chocolate engulfed the both of you as you leant into the kiss, resting hands on his shoulders. Remus raised his hand to grasp your hip and slowly move you closer toward his embrace.

You always thought that your first kiss with the werewolf would be more passionate and spark filled but no, this felt like home. This felt like you had fallen into his arms and discovered you belonged.

Breaking away, you stared into his amber orbs. Looking for any sign of regret or fear but you found that his eyes were filled with adoration and love, matching the very same look you held for him.

Giggling as the now giddy Gryffindor pressed a flurry of light kisses on your plumped lips, you knew that this would beat any love-story in any muggle book because this, this was perfection.

[devildomdisaster]

Hi can I ask for the reaction of the demon brothers to the mc who always behaves fearlessly, but is afraid of a sharp clap and hides behind them?

Hi anon, this is my first ask for this blog so I hope it's what you wanted.

I got a bit carried away with this one so it ended up a bit long.

Normally fearless mc who hides behind the brothers after a loud noise

Lucifer:

Initially, Lucifer thinks that a human who has little to no magic ability (at least at first) is going to be helpless and frightened of almost everything. This is the Devildom after all, and demons would love to eat a sweet human soul.

But you routinely stand up not only to his brothers but to him.

Honestly, he finds it frustrating.

With no way to intimidate you Lucifer’s normal tactics to ensure proper behavior are rendered useless.

Not only that but you encourage his brothers to act up as well.

But your fearlessness has also endeared you to him.

Even more pride than normal radiates off him when he sees you put some lower-level demon or his brothers in their place. Even if he has to step in sometimes.

Lucifer discovers your fear as you walk into Ristorante Six and a waiter drops a tray of drinks behind you as you are being shown to your table

The tray hits the ground with a loud clatter

Lucifer turns at the noise but otherwise thinks little of the situation

You however are immediately hidden behind him, hands fisted tightly around handfuls of the back of his coat

He is surprised but quickly schools his expression into one of concern.

His first thought is if you are alright, did something on the tray somehow hit you?

He turns to you, taking your clenched fists into his hands.

For all intents and purposes you seem physically fine just…scared. Truly frightened.

Later when you have calmed down he might ask you about your reaction. But for now he will simply comfort you.

He pulls you into his arms whispering lowly into your ear, “there is nothing that can hurt you while I am here Mc. It’s alright.”

Once your breathing has slowed he’ll ask if you’d like to leave and go back to the house of lamentation.

If you were just startled he’ll spend the evening as planned, although he is far more aware of the movement of the surrounding demons. And any possible loud noises that could startle you again.

If you do want to go home he will gladly take you, he’ll propose a quieter evening, relaxing in his study listening to his records perhaps?

Mammon:

Oh, his fearless human!

He is oh so impressed at your bravery.

It’s almost reckless at times how little fear you seem to have in the face of demons.

This boy loves to watch you stand up to other demons or handle situations that others would consider frightening (especially for humans).

Your fearlessness makes you the perfect partner in crime for his schemes.

He loves the rush of getting away with his schemes and loves having you there to share that rush with even more.

Of course, when you do participate in his less than honest scheming, or even his honest ones, he is always there to protect you.

Watching you be fearless is fun but if anything could actually hurt you he is always aware of it. Ready to step in front of you at any moment. You’re his human after all. It wouldn’t due to have something harm you when he can prevent it.

You’re not even outside the house of lamentation when a rather peeved Lucifer comes into the kitchen. “Mammon!” he thunders with a loud slap of his hands on the counter.

You jump behind Mammon, face pressed into his back

One of Mammon’s arms unconsciously reaches behind him to shield you even more.

He is shocked at your reaction but the instinct to protect you kicks in instantly.

“Lucifer” Mammon warns quietly with a quick glance towards you behind him “could we maybe do this later I think Mc…” He trails off

Once Lucifer is gone, seeming to have gotten the gist of the situation, Mammon turns to you. one hand stroking your head gently until you look at him.

“Hey, Mc you’re ok. What’s gotten into ya?”

“The noise” you mumble. Half embarrassed, half still trying to calm your racing heart.

“Geez Mc, ya don’t gotta worry ‘bout stuff like that when I’m around”

He doesn’t quite understand why a loud noise would scare you but is more than willing to listen if you want to explain.

Levi

Levi doesn’t get you.

How can some magicless normie human not be afraid in the Devildom? Surrounded by actual demons? Whatever it’s not like he gets normies anyway.

But then he gets to know you and he actually likes you. You’re his Henry now, his player 2 or… whichever you prefer Mc. Even admitting this to himself is sometimes so hard.

Your whole fearlessness thing still confuses him, but it’s impressive too.

He enjoys being able to play horror games with you or watch horror anime without you being terrified.

It’s like nothing phases you. You can face down anything the Devildom throws at you. Levi thinks you’re so cool, it’s almost not fair!

He kind of wonders what actually scares you

He finds out one night when Asmo throws the door to his room open so hard it bounces off the wall with a loud slam.

Asmo is crowing about family bonding night and repainting Levi’s nails “because gaming isn’t all that matters Leviathan, and you should have been in the living room half an hour ago!”

Levi groans at Asmo’s outburst. Then pauses, blinks slowly, and realizes you’re hidden behind him quaking in…in fear?

His demon form slips out quietly and he wraps his tail around your waist protectively.

He doesn’t understand why you’re frightened but he’s got you covered normie.

“Ohhh, I didn’t know you were playing that kind of game!” Asmo grins purposely misreading the situation. “You and Mc can come down when you’re done.” he sings, shutting the door behind him as he leaves.

Levi’s face is so red, he opens and closes his mouth several times before any words make it out.

“M-mc did did Asmo do something to you? or?” He’s trying to figure out what’s got you so scared.

But he’s still so flustered from Asmo’s teasing that he can’t turn to face you. Instead, he keeps his tail protectively and hopefully comfortingly around your waist.

“No” you sniff “the noise. When the door, it just”

“Oh, good. Not good-good! I mean good that Asmo didn’t do anything.”

You’re both silent for a long moment as Levi composes himself and turns around. Levi finally has time for his surprise to hit him. This is what you are afraid of? He never would have guessed. Still, he doesn’t think any less of you. How could he? Everyone’s got their things, their fears.

“Thanks, Levi,” You say, tapping his tail gratefully.

You get to watch the red bloom across his face this time.

Satan

You being fearless is intriguing and impressive.

He has read about all sorts of phobias and a part of him wants to expose you to some common ones just to see if any of them scare you.

But he won’t.

He likes you too much for that.

You aren’t afraid of pranking Lucifer with him.

Or of late-night library searches, or cursed books, or most importantly of him.

He expected you to be afraid of him, he is the avatar of wrath after all, and his anger can and has made him lose control.

But you're not the least bit afraid of him. He truly appreciates that.

While cooking dinner the loud clatter of a pot falling to the floor and splashing its contents to the ground makes him curse and then sigh, but it makes you jump behind him.

hm? Oh. Oh!

With one hand gripping his shoulder and the other clutching his shirt, it only takes a moment for him to recognize your fear.

He realizes pretty quickly that it must have been the loud noise.

There’s a part of him, the same part that had wanted to test you for hidden phobias, that is immensely satisfied with this new information about his favorite human. Excited even.

Satan feels that knowing there is something that scares you makes you more real.

He almost chuckles at your reaction.

Instead, he guides you to a seat and as he straightens lets his knuckles brush your cheek gently.

“Are you alright Mc?”

He waits until the shock and fear have worn off before cleaning up the mess on the floor.

He knew there had to be something that scared you, he just hopes this fear isn’t tied to any…unpleasant people or situations in your life. Just the thought of that erases all his satisfaction at discovering your fear.

If you’re still a bit rattled he’ll keep you distracted, while he finishes cooking, with tales of the Devildom and the new installment of his favorite mystery show or the new novel he’s reading that he thinks you might like.

If you have recovered he’ll gladly accept your help finishing dinner.

Asmo

Asmo loves your fearlessness.

He thinks it makes you even more attractive.

He says that other than your magical potential it was one of the things that led him to make a pact with you.

“Nothing seemed to phase you, I just had to know more!”

Drags/brings you shopping a lot partly just to watch you stare rude demons down.

Of course, he is always there just in case a demon doesn’t get the point, but he takes a kind of pleasure in seeing demons try and fail to intimidate you, before leaving in shock and shame at being unable to scare a mere human.

He doesn’t let you get into dangerous situations if he can help it. Being confident and fearless is all well and good Mc, but you are still a human and demons can be dangerous.

During one of your shopping trips, there is a loud clap of excitement from a demon when they find what they were looking for.

You gasp and duck behind Asmo.

He turns an amused smile on his face.

“Mc, how can you possibly help me look for my size when you…oh!

As he sees your face he understands. You’re afraid.

He is flattered that you chose to hide behind him for protection. He thinks it shows how much you truly trust him.

He takes your hand in his, even as his head tilts slightly trying to figure out what scared you.

It all clicks a moment later. The noise.

He grips your hand a bit tighter and guides you out of the store, away from the situation.

Asmo knows that your reaction could have just been from being startled but he also knows that it could be tied to a deeper fear of something or someone.

He hopes you were just startled but makes sure you know that he will always protect you from your fears. Minor or serious.

If you let him he will have a whole self-care spa day with you after you get back to the house of lamentation.

Beel

Beel is impressed by a fearless human.

Especially one with little to no magic when first coming to the Devildom.

But he is also concerned for you.

He worries you might do something reckless.

So he makes sure to be around in order to make sure you stay safe.

Will 100% eat a lesser demon who tries to harm you.

Beel wants you to be safe.

But he is glad that your fearless nature gives you the confidence to explore more of the Devildom than just RAD classes.

He is so happy when you want to go somewhere new with him, maybe to a restaurant or cafe you haven’t tried yet.

The first time you hide behind him is after the wind blows a chair over at a nearby table outside a cafe.

You are on your feet in an instant

And in the next, you are almost cowering behind him.

Beel is startled.

He doesn’t understand why you seem so afraid.

But he pulls you into his arms anyway.

Beel comes right out and asks you about your reaction.

When you explain that it was the loud noise Beel nods.

He wants to ask if you were just startled or if there is more to your fear but doesn’t want to overstep.

He’ll wait until you are headed back to the house to ask.

Whatever your answer is he’ll accept it and in the future act accordingly to prevent you from being afraid.

Belphie

Honestly hates how fearless you are at first.

It annoys him and he wants to make you afraid of him…until he doesn't.

And the complete 180 surprises even him.

He still wonders how a human can be so fearless and kind of wonders if it's all an act you use to protect yourself.

Even so, he’s still impressed that you can be fearless in the Devildom.

He’s another one who likes to see you tell other demons to get lost.

He thinks that a human chasing off a Demon in the realm of demons is hilarious.

On the way to RAD one morning what sounds like a loud clap causes Belphie to turn and see another demon being slapped.

He goes to make a snide comment to you, only you aren’t standing next to him anymore.

Instead, you are tucked behind him holding tightly to his uniform jacket.

“Um, Mc? What exactly are you doing?”

And that’s when it all comes out.

The noise had scared you so much you had hidden behind him.

Belphie just shrugs. It’s surprising sure, considering all the other things you’ve seen and experienced in the Devildom. But hey you are a human, something was bound to scare you eventually.

He’s curious if you are just easily startled or if you have a fear of sudden loud noises.

Unlike his brothers (*Satan) he is curious enough to test you and see which it is.

Unless you come out then and there to tell him you have a fear of loud noises he will plan out a ‘prank’ to startle you again.

If it turns out it’s not a fear caused by anything serious and you are just easily startled he will use it against you occasionally, at least until he is bored of your reaction or you ask him to stop.

But he doesn’t want to hurt you, emotionally or physically. If it’s a genuine fear he’d never use it against you. And he’d personally end anyone who did.

[notsowrites]

Untitled 3x08 Malex Coda #3

Last one before tonight! Why I get inspired to write about these two first thing in the morning when I’m drinking my coffee is beyond me, but here’s some more soft Malex with a bit of fluff.

Enjoy! <3

----------

They head back inside not long after, the cold winter air nipping at Alex's skin. Maria is sitting up near the pool tables, cell phone pressed to her ear, and Alex focuses on the smile on her face, the absolute happiness he can see radiating off her. She looks up as they walk in, waving at them, but their presence is not enough to get her to end the call.

Michael is already back at the bar, leaning against it, knocking shoulders with Isobel, Liz sitting just on her other side. There's a bottle of wine between them, and two half-filled glasses.

"She's on the phone with your brother," Liz supplies as he joins them.

He nods. It's not new, this thing between his brother and Maria. But the two of them acting on the looks that he's known they've shared since high school certainly is.

Sliding into the open seat to Michael's right is easy enough, and it does wonders to get the weight off his hip for now. His fingers dig into the muscle of his leg, gently massaging it as he watches Michael slide another beer in front of him.

"You okay?"

Michael's voice is quiet, almost a whisper in the already quiet bar. The only other people here are people he loves, people he trusts. He nods.

"Just sore."

He goes for honesty, which seems to be the theme of the day for them, and watches as Michael's eyes dart to his leg and further down to where his prosthetic is beneath his jeans. There's nothing he can do right now, not until he's home and can take it off, remove the lining, and possibly soak in the bathtub to ease the tension in it. But that can wait, because being here, with the people he loves and cares about is more important.

It's the most important thing.

"We can leave," Michael replies, as if reading his thoughts, but Alex reaches out, slipping his hand into Michael's, and shaking his head.

Liz speaks up first, her eyes going from Michael to him, and back again. "You don't have to stay. Max is safe, thanks to you. We should take the win and enjoy tonight."

The fight leaves him at Liz's words, and he acquiesces, sliding off the stool, and stretching his leg, one hand on the back of the bar stool for balance. He can feel Michael's eyes on him, watching him, and for once he loves how it feels. It's so easy to reach out, to grab Michael's hand in his own and give it a reassuring squeeze, before he crosses the floor towards Maria.

"So your I guess it's our time vibes were only a couple weeks off, eh?" He hears Isobel ask behind him, but doesn't turn around to look at how Michael reacts, only hearing Liz's shocked gasp instead.

"Greg, hold on, hold on, Alex is here-" Maria turns towards him, pulling the phone away from her ear and wrapping her arms around him. He stumbles a bit, expecting the weight but miscalculating for how tired he is. She immediately pulls back, looking him up and down, assessing.

He presses a kiss to her cheek. "I'm fine, just tired. Michael and I are heading out, but I didn't want to leave without telling you."

She raises an eyebrow at him.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He feels his cheeks go warm, and shifts on his feet, not out of the soreness in his hip this time.

"You better," Maria laughs as she puts the phone back up to her ear, and Alex can immediately hear his brother, just can't make out the words. He watches as Maria smiles, a laugh escaping her lips as she looks back at him.

"Greg says it's about damn time."

With a bit of an eyeroll, he leaves the two of them to their conversation and turns back to the bar, surprised to find Michael is standing near the doorway. There's a feeling that blossoms in his chest, seeing Michael standing there, waiting, for him. And after spending the day together, Alex isn't ready for it to end.

"Can you take me home?"

The car ride is quiet, but not awkward. Alex pushes himself up against the passenger door, and shifts himself so he's staring at Michael as he drives. Something he hasn't done since they were teenagers when they'd get in Michael's truck and drive out to the desert - the only way after the toolshed they could find some time for themselves.

Michael's hat is sitting on the seat between them, and Alex brushes his fingers along the rim. He loves the cowboy look, even if it covers up Michael's curls. Because he really is in love with Michael Guerin any way you slice it.

His house is on a quiet side street outside town, the yard lights on thanks to their automatic timer, illuminating the terrace and the front door. He and Maria had strung them up one Saturday afternoon a few weeks after he'd bought the house, her claiming it needed some ambiance. She'd been the one to help him pick out the patio furniture, and start making the house into some place he could call home.

Michael pulls the truck into the driveway next to his SUV, and Alex reaches for the door handle, before he realizes the engine is idling. 

Does he want Michael to leave? He doesn't know. Today was a whirlwind for them - working together, talking, and Michael kissing him. As he'd pressed his face into Michael's shoulder earlier, he'd realized how much he missed this - missed Michael. There had always been something about the way it felt around him, when they weren't fighting, when they had a moment of quiet - an unexplainable calm that would fall over him. For the first time in years, he'd felt it again that morning, and then again later in the truck when Michael had touched his cheek.

He wouldn't label it an understanding, because it felt much deeper than that.

"Michael?"

"Yeah?"

But Michael makes no move to turn off the engine, so Alex tugs on that courage he'd used all day to tell Michael what he wanted. He'd never felt the need to put into words his every day actions - and perhaps part of that was his years in the Air Force, and the work he'd done that required a level of secrecy. But keeping Michael out of the loop recently hadn't done them, or their relationship, any favors. And he hated to see Michael so angry at him.

"Shut the engine off and come inside."

He watches Michael turn to him, eyes soft and beautiful, and Alex doesn't know sometimes, what to do with the way Michael makes him feel. He never has. If he was younger, if he was more agile than he is these days, he'd climb over onto Michael's lap and kiss him here in the truck. So instead he reaches over the cowboy hat, and slips his fingers under Michael's, tightening his grip.

"You sure?"

Alex nods. 

But Michael's hesitance doesn't end there, and follows him into the house. Alex coaxes him out of his jacket, his boots, and watches as he slowly walks into the living room, glancing around as if unsure of himself. And Michael has been here before, Michael's been here a lot over the years.

"You got rid of the cameras," he says, nodding up where the one above his bedroom door used to be.

The cameras were something he'd installed under the belief that he couldn't trust his father. There had always been that residual fear he would break in and try something to get one up on Alex. So the cameras had made him feel like he was being proactive, like his father couldn't sneak up on him if he had a system in place.

"Yeah, don't need them anymore." He doesn't want to talk about his dad. Not now. It's not that he wants to brush it under the rug and never speak of it, because he knows there are a lot of things they need to talk about. But Liz's words echo in his mind about taking the win today for what it is, and doing that means not focusing on something like his father.

"That's good," Michael says, his voice low, and Alex doesn't move, just stands still as Michael walks over to him, a smile pushing up on his lips. He feels Michael's hands on his face, palms against his cheeks and lets Michael kiss him.

He feels the scratch of Michael's beard and the soft press of his lips and Alex presses forward just a little, his hands moving to Michael's hips, bracing himself. The kiss is slow and gentle, and Alex feels like he's falling. There's no rush in either of their actions, Michael's fingertips lightly scratching at the nape of his neck, their noses bumping, and their foreheads end up pressed together as their lips separate.

"I want-" He pauses, pushing back just far enough so he can look up at Michael. He doesn't want to not be looking at him when he speaks. But he thinks of Michael's reluctance to come inside, and he thinks of the words Michael had once expressed to him about going where Alex wants, and he needs to make sure this is what Michael wants too. "Will you stay the night?"

----------

In the morning, he wakes up tangled up in Michael. There's no panic that sets in, no worry about one of them leaving, even if they haven't talked about the future yet. Because there's time for that now. And Alex knows, believes, they both want one together.

He opens his eyes to find Michael already awake, eyes open and watching him. It should be creepy, but instead all Alex feels is love.

"Morning," Michael says, leaning in and gently kissing his lips.

"Been awake long?"

Michael shakes his head. "I've never watched you sleep before. You always-" He cuts himself off and Alex can fill in the rest himself. He knows this story too.

Last night had been different though, from anything they'd ever done in the past. It felt like a new beginning for them, the way the whole day had. Michael had drawn the bath while Alex had gone through his nightly routine, finally getting the chance to remove his prosthetic. And as Alex had laid back in the tub, letting the hot water soothe his sore muscles, Michael had sat on the floor next to the tub, resting his head on his arm, and they'd just… talked.

Talked in a way they never had before. Alex had listened as Michael had finally told him everything he'd learned from Jones - from the white lies to the discovery of his own origins. He'd been unable to stop himself from taking Michael's hand as he talked about his mother, the way he'd started to doubt his own feelings about her, and the things she had done. Most shocking of all was when Michael asked to show him something, and Alex had just nodded before he was watching as Michael pulled a lighter out of his jeans and held the flame to the skin of his palm.

Instinct had him snatching Michael's hand, pulling it away from the flame - but his skin was perfect. The flame hadn't harmed him.

"I want to make you breakfast," Michael says instead.

Alex laughs, immediately burying his face into Michael's shoulder, because while a great idea, he doesn't exactly keep a fully stocked kitchen. Especially since he's a terrible cook himself, and restocking the fridge after his year spent cleaning up Project Shepherd messes hasn't been a huge priority.

"I'd like that except…" he lets his voice trail off, but leans up and kisses Michael. "I'm not sure there's much in the fridge to cook with."

Michael shakes his head, laughing, and Alex kisses him again, pulling himself up so he's leaning over Michael, his fingers stroking Michael's curls, gently tugging on the ends and watching as they spring back into place.

"Another time then."

Alex leans forward, their lips almost touching as he smiles. Because another time is a future they now have together. It's tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that. "Tomorrow."

"Yeah?"

"I don't want - I meant what I said all those months ago. About starting over. And-" He pauses, thinking about every night he's spent with Michael that ended with one of them leaving, the other never staying. "We've never had breakfast before."

They trade lazy kisses, neither of them able to stop smiling, and it's slow and perfect, and Alex thinks he could stay wrapped up in Michael Guerin forever. But he gets an idea, and it's a good one. And he knows Michael will be okay with it, that Michael will agree to it. Because now he knows Michael feels the same, that Michael wants the same things for them.

"Let's go to the Crashdown," he says against Michael's lips.

Michael pushes back, not away but enough so he's looking at Alex. And there's a flicker of something on his eyes, an old hurt resurfacing that Alex can see. Another thing they need to talk about.

"Like a date?"

Alex rolls his eyes, but kisses Michael again. "Like a date. Like two people having breakfast. I just - I want to do these things with you. I want us to be able to do these things."

"Okay, Manes," Michael replies, pushing up quickly and kissing Alex, like he can't get enough. "Let's go have pancakes."

[lilmajorshawty]

The Signs Vs The Houses Sun Edition 🎇

Sun In Aries Vs Sun In First House: 

(Pantheon God Ares Vs Lucifer Morning Star.)

Sun in Aries: Pantheon God Ares

Song: _By. Alexander - Trumpets Ft 070Shake

These Natives don’t readily showcase their independent traits outright but their intensity is actively expressed in different ways from one another almost like reverse parts of a long mirror. Sun in Aries natives are actively nonchalant, impartial and seemingly low energy to those who don’t know their outward appearance is merely a facade. Aries suns aren’t readily expresses of their more generic traits, their impulsive nature is often hidden underneath their calm demeanor. unlike sun in the 1st housers Aries suns are good at playing into a more watered down version of themselves if it serves to aid the type of reaction they will get from the audience of their choice. They much like Pisces can be deceptively charming, disarming and tremendously jovial but underneath this lay a impulsive, reactive and swift minded individual. Aries suns are more observant than they are open warfare types, meaning that their darker side is something revealed in quiet privacy. They are in actuality very polite and keep much of their outward passions in check as to not alert others of their intentions before the Aries sun native has already assessed the consequences their potential action might bring. They are tactitions  in nature much like the war god ares, much of their actions are weighed and planned. much is done in secrecy or in the safety net of a desired outcome for them. They naturally seem disinterested or bored by their surroundings but can also have a testy, or rather flighty energy around being in spaces for longer than they intended. Their frigidity nature is a reflection of mars needing to be in control but the rather prideful way of the sun itself not liking to seem overly brash in order to seem regal. in this sense the sun and mars are in conflict for sun in Aries so they in turn prefer to keep their shadow face a bit more slow burn than people can perceive it to be. Aries suns are sweet and ardent but they can sometimes struggle with telling the truth, unlike their moon counterpart. Aries sun in a more masculine spirit Tends to be the most immature with their desires, mainly being self invested. Aries sun in feminine spirit tends to be most immature with their sexuality, readily wanting to claim the sexual limelight due to their appetite for admiration. on two sides of the coin underdeveloped Aries suns within masculine energy can struggle to see the world beyond “their” needs and “their” wants, the feminine can struggle to separate their over identification with physical gratification making them seem jealous and gluttonous for attention to those looking from the outside in.They are passionate but narcissistic. They care about those closest to them but they also battle between love for others and love for the self. Aries suns are in a never ending battle with the concept of I and how the I relates to Others. Aries sun signs definitely live by the “apart of my tribe” mentality and usually have a hard time dealing with outsiders. That being said they are a thousand times more tame then most give them credit for and only those who have been around the natives for long can ever really see their darker nature that they prefer to keep under raps. Aries suns are very loving nonetheless and dare i say the most emotionally affectionate of the fire suns. They genuinely do try for those they carefor and they honestly live by a strong code of right or wrong. despite what they might want they always recognize whether or not the action they plan on committing is morally correct or morally incorrect.

Sun in the First house: Lucifer Morningstar

Song: _By.Alexander - Stalling 

Sun in the 1st Housers are quite different in terms of their immediate personality traits, because unlike Aries suns they are not under the space of just mars depending on what their sun sign is already in. rather they are swimming in the pool of mars while wearing their sun sign. Sun in the 1st house natives can be Intense, cynical, Dark and brooding. They have this perceptiveness about the world around them that can seem unnerving. People are in their eyes to comfortable with stillness and it bothers them, as they are mentally just as much as physically always moving, 100 steps ahead of everyone. To many this may seem like a blessing but it’s a curse for these natives as it creates a constant inner and outer need for chaos in some way. They want to maintain a certain level of opposition and transformation in themselves and in the environments they find themselves in. For them things could always be rearranged and redone and the more stagnant the view things the more unhappy they become as they see peace as a reflection of “lack” in themselves. in those with a masculine spirit sun in the 1st house can make them impatient, aggressive, aloof and cold in its worst but brave, perceptive, kind and generous in its healthy state. In those with feminine spirit it can make them cutthroat, rigid, blinded by the self and confrontational in its worst but vibrant, childlike, bold, and sharp of mind in its healthier state. Unlike sun in Aries these natives aren't impressed or worried about how they interact with others.  These natives can seem dismissive or uninterested in people mainly because they are only impressed by people with “strength” in the manner of which they perceive strength to look like. much like Lucifer these natives live in the dark and admire those who have suffered or experienced the trenches of life only to rise from its ashes without a single complaint. to them people who can fight without seeking coddling or attention for those struggles are attractive and relatable. people who are attention seekers, overly emotional or dependent are typically what these natives avoid or tend to be the coldest towards. The reason being is that these natives underneath their cold and rather independent face are deeply sensitive and receptive to the feelings of others, but when they were young this receptiveness was often taken advantage of by the world around them. people ate these natives up and forced them to build their own personal hell to build themselves in, because in their eyes the only hell scarier then the one someone makes for you is the one you make for yourself. These natives are ambitious but also deeply full of life and vigor but to those who don’t know them deeper you may never know that beneath this light lay very serious and steady individuals willing to do whatever it takes to survive. these natives are constantly interchanging between Life and Death.

Sun In Taurus Vs Sun In The Second House:

(Artemis vs Higher Angel Metatron.)

Sun in Taurus: Artemis

Song: Ama Lou - Wires 

sun in Taurus natives often represented by the bull are deserving of their steady and rather slow moving personality traits..Though in conjunction one might add in their mental gymnastics that put even the mighty Aquarius, Gemini, Libra Air trinity to shame. These natives are tremendously intellectual, they see and feel everything out just as much as they add a thick layer of rationality and logic to it. To them anything and everything can go wrong and most likely is so they tend to present themselves in a more compartmentalized way as to prevent this. on one hand they are solid and sensual in their approach to life, on the other they are distrusting and closed to outsiders. they value a certain level of work ethic in others and that is typically what softens their heart as opposed to be overly nice or suckups. they tend to be intense and insatiable but these traits are hidden underneath their polite and soft toned Venus haze. For Taurus, Venus serves merely as a cloudy ethereal presence rather than a solid body like it does for Libras which is genuinely why the two are so similar yet so deeply different. Taurus suns value a calm serenity but they value an authentic air to cultivate such serenity whereas Libras value the serenity that is without to much heaviness or demand. Taurus suns are naturally stable and patient folk, not much moves them out of character and once it does all of the magma and debris flies into the sky like radiating solar flares. These natives are insanely aware of themselves and the actions and motives of said actions of others. to them intimacy through the physical realm is the only real way to see someone and in a sense for them touch is their language. these natives are lovers of sex but contrary to belief Taurus suns just like Scorpio sun see sex a soul transaction rather than just “sex.” to them being able to meet every individual layer of a person beyond what they present is true understanding. Scorpios suns look to sex as a emotional collaboration of wounds and vulnerabilities whilst Taurus suns on the yang side of that spectrum look at sex as a Physical collaboration of involved and aware relinquishing of the self in its physical form to another. For Taurus suns they find themselves trapped between the concept of “what do they mean to me vs what do i mean to them.” this mentality often creates a emotional nature that causes them pain in life as they never really know when to let go of people, they hold onto people out of a fear of losing something important to them on a mentally materialistic plane. The men tend to handle the Taurus sun the worst as it often brings out a vain and rather expansive nature that is centered around using their possessions as lay way for their self worth. to them in their worse state their material possessions and their bodies become nothing more than tokens to scale their level of self worth which they ultimately base in the opinions of complete strangers. Taurus women/feminine energy folk tend to handle the energy well, mainly embracing their sensuality and sexuality although sometimes falling prey to their bullheaded and rather single minded advances towards life at times. in their best they can be captivating, preserving, and deeply empathetic of the woes and demons of others taking them on fearlessly. Taurus suns greatest foe as well as their biggest give away is their single-minded nature, once something catches their eye it becomes a mission, a life purpose and at times an obsession.

Sun In the Second House: Higher Angel Metatron 

song: Ama Lou- This Town

For second house sun natives their similarities can often times shadow them after Taurus mainly due to the very calm and rather steady disposition they naturally posses. That being said much like the angel metatron as mentioned in text they have a far more raw energy that ensnares people to them like a spider web. They often times maintain a cool distance emotionally from those around them as to never reveal their inner thoughts but this at times gives them a much darker shade then Taurus suns as they are not as nearly well meaning in their observations of others. these natives are insanely perceptive but they tend to use this perceptiveness to read the crowd so to speak. many of us may struggle to adapt to every personality in the room or shift personas as a means of getting from point A to B in an unwanted interaction where as Second house sun natives can shift personas as will due to their gift for micro analysis. They can read a room, the people and the energy of each individual from mere glances and that makes them incredibly charming but also a tad unreadable as much of what they are showing is far away from what they truly feel. These natives are powerful in the sense that they have a vision that Taurus suns are themselves afraid to truly use. You see second house suns are often in control of their environment because they alter themselves in the necessary form needed to gain the upper hand.Many of them do well in performance art like acting because it allows them to convey their inner world without letting on its source. They often times shy away from commitments as they require the natives to be the real self vs the self they cultivate. Unlike Taurus suns who operate authentically these natives operate in a way that fits the authentic need of the people without having to give up any of their real ego. These natives also aren’t as caught up in the materialistic side of life rather they are obsessed with their self esteem and how that self esteem is equated in the real world around them. For them their biggest fear is being misused or taken advantage of and very often so life puts them in a situation where this happens to teach them a level of boundaries between themselves and that of the people who surround them. They tend to be highly passive when it comes to loss in their life. they factor the loss of people whether by death or by them leaving one another’s life as just another one of the misfortunes of the world, in their eyes it can’t be avoided and is an eventuality but even so they must continue to move forward with or without others. This trait alone separates them from their Taurus sun counterparts. They value people who are gentle and preserving but these people albeit their perfect match tend to scare sun in the second house natives the most as the idea of someone who will love them fully disgust them in a way, mainly because deep down these natives don’t truly identify with their need to be accepted and loved because it is devoured by their need to move forward at all cost. these natives teeter between the collective vs the self and often find themselves inevitably choosing the self yet resenting the loneliness that follows suite

Sun In Gemini Vs Sun In The Third House:

(The Devil Vs Satan)

Sun In Gemini: The Devil

Song: Kendrick Lamar - U

These Natives often receive much bad mouthing and malice as their traits are normally misunderstood or mis-identified as Gemini itself being a mutable sign makes it a sign that mirrors energy that is given to it onto the person sending the energy. Gemini Suns on their own are outwardly controlled and restless but internally they are a landscape of thoughts, that multiply and divide like the cells in the human body. They are like compact computers in this sense because their mental scape at times is carrying Gigabytes upon gigabytes of thought process.They are living in a busy head-space often so much of their day to day involves them tussling with their voices and which side to listen to, which one to ignore, which to dive into and so on. This is often why these natives Live for interaction and communication, the less mental release the darker the head-space and the darker the head-space the more dangerous the Gemini. The lack of stimulation can present itself as addictions, self destructive behavior and outright hatred that seems to have no source. these natives more than most feed of human contact, it provides them a way to see beyond their mind and peer into another’s for a moment of relief. Gemini suns are very tender and affectionate, often loving physical sensations as they bring new understandings and mental curiosity to the native. they often adore sex but not for the act itself but for the many sides of sex, the control, the lack of it, the passion and the lack of it, the intimacy and the lack of it, the desire and also the lack of it, to these natives they all swirl around like aspects of a cocktail. lying and creating chaos is an aspect of their two headed serpent like nature but often times the shadow self of the Gemini is the most damaged version of themselves hidden away to maintain a level of sanity for the Gemini twin in charge. Gemini sun tend to have this dualistic side to them that can sometimes present itself as real bipolar disorder but this is not something that can be applied to realism as all astrology really is, is a map for better self understanding. These natives at times fluctuate between moments of peace and moments of chaos depending on which twin makes it’s appearance.  Much like the Devil these natives can carry a sharp and mischievous tone but they can also have an angelic and rather childish youth to them that is so promising and inviting like white wine underneath dying autumn leaves as summer turns to fall. They represent a deep darkness in humanity whilst also representing the angel the devil was before he fell out of grace. Gemini suns are radiating with knowledge and tid bits that could unsettle the world but they never read the whole story, the whole scripture, they hang on to the small details and create a world around it. Gemini suns tend to struggle in their early years due to the push and pull dynamic of the angel and demon complex and at times a state of passivity is reached where they could care less either way how and what is effected by their actions. These natives despite their struggles are enterprising and gifted with an intellect beyond comprehension. They masculine and feminine energy tend to struggle with this placement as it naturally represents both in both energies. much like the devil they have a rather gender less energy when it comes to the world around them which is often why many Gemini suns are bisexual or pansexual as their desires are often times less about the physical and more about the mental. they can seem to be a chameleon  due to how easily they can shift in and out of personalities but ultimately they aren’t so much so becoming someone else, they’re becoming the other twin. The secondary Gemini face is unlike the devil it is angelic and curious, innocent and loving but it’s pitfall is wrath and spite. As im sure these are traits you would apply to the devil no? well in this case the angelic Gemini twin wears them as a means of not handling their wounds properly. Gemini suns unlike most people put their hurt away by passing it on to the other twin who soaks it like a sponge, as a result over the years whenever the twin rears it’s head and is mistreated as a defense mechanism it reacts in these darker toned ways that can at times be devoid of humanity due to that twin being so lacking in interaction with people. Gemini suns often struggle with the inner and outer mind. for them they desperately search for a mental release of some form and often times it takes precedence over all things no matter how grounded the Gemini Sun. a never ending therapy session full of broadness and intellectual depth is their dream as in their most vulnerable state they desperately want to be seen, not just as one face but both faces.

Sun In the Third House: Satan

Song: Kendrick Lamar- Untitled 07(Levitate) 

These natives can only be described as isolated princesses & Prince solemnly watching the world circle around their creations and crafts like moths to a flame. They are so vastly different from their counterparts in the sense that for them the world is more like a game then it is a cage. They are savvy, quick of wit and naturally street smart. Many of them prance through the world as if they’ve lived in the projects, the ghetto, or the slums as it is what allows them to use the more scarce methods, having very little and even in some cases building from ash and managing to create whole empires in the place of it.  To them the concept of “lack” fuels their desire to expand the concept of having nothing. To them the world is built upon fallacies and they wish to unsheathe them by playing into the role of the underdog, the follower or the easy going lover and friend until they ultimately get to the place they had been dying to reach only to sever ties, turn on, vilify or in some cases tear down those who helped them get there. Now to many of you this may sound like an evil way to get by in the world but you must understand unlike Gemini suns these natives don’t live solely in the mind rather they live in the minds of others, to them their life’s purpose is understanding the patterns and desires of others so they themselves can mold themselves into those desires, so they can predict those patterns..all of it is like chess. For them to have the higher ground on the world at large plays into their need to remain ambiguous and Elite. The masculine and feminine much Like Gemini sun present themselves as the gender or energy type that suites them at the moment. You need them to be passive? they already closed their mouth and you haven’t released you already called all the shots..you want them to be passionate and aggressive, they’ve already controlled the day, they’ve changed the way they grip you, the way they lock eyes with you..these natives can be anything, anyone..because for them the art of playing to an illusion is a survival tactic one the learn at an early age to cultivate otherwise the world will defeat them and that is something they just cannot allow much like the concept of the world peaks Satan curiosity he must constantly venture, among the people to understand them as a means of never losing, never falling short or missing a step at watching the creations of the man he despises so dearly evolve. These natives are alluring, sweet, loving but in many ways they can seem missing, far away and sometimes unavailable both emotionally and physically. the reason being is that unlike Gemini suns these natives do not need to be heard, they need to be ahead and once they feel tied or held down by something they’ve already fleshed out and had their time with their restless need to be ahead comes out and they soon gravitate their focus elsewhere. Their constantly at war with the concept of Do i understand it all vs do i understand enough at all?

Sun In Cancer Vs Sun In The Fourth House:

(Arch Angel Gabriel Vs The Deity Tsukuyomi)

Sun In Cancer: Arch Angel Gabriel 

Song: Daughter - Amsterdam 

These natives contrary to belief are not as lacking in emotional awareness nor are they as gullible as other might like to believe them to be. One of the most frightening traits of cancer Sun’s is their ability to emotionally detach from people and situations in a rather abrupt manner. These natives are emotive but in some ways the emotions aren’t always backing the action. Cancer suns fall into the behavior of sometimes being nice for being nice’s sake and often times care more about the feelings of others than they do themselves. In more underdeveloped masculine energies this can rear it’s head as emotional narcissism, thinking the whole room revolves around their feelings and their feelings only, leaving everyone else to have to play pick up the pieces for someone who refuses to take accountability. in some of the even lesser versions this can cause manipulation of the emotional variety, using someones vulnerability as a weapon  are sometimes tactics of masculine energy cancers and Feminine energy cancers who failed to acknowledge the skeletons in their own closet. Cancer suns often remind me of Gabriel in the sense that they carry his will of doing what is needed rather than what is wanted. Cancer Suns understand the difference between need and want and often times center their life around such inclinations. To them everyone no matter where they come from desires things they don’t truly need and fortify things they want only for a moment. As a result cancer suns tend to prioritize people, things and places under the laws of what they need and what they want and often times they can turn a cold shoulder to the things they feel are momentary even if it’s a person. Cancer Suns can be powerful, enigmatic and divinely feminine no matter their gender due to their inner desire to nurture and care for others, no matter how underdeveloped or developed these natives are the desire to protect and care for others is their base setting. Many as they age become more and more like their mother, often adopting the qualities they admired most and showcasing the negative ones when under stress or moments of trauma. These natives are deeply loving and caring and at times this gets taken advantage of but only briefly as Cancer suns are almost Demonically vindictive. The natives see colors on people and tend to be highly spiritually perceptive of auras and presence within people without even exchanging words. They tend to be closed when it comes to their feelings and contrary to social media cancer Suns do not express their inner feelings readily, much like a crab they withhold and protect their underbelly often coming towards things in a side to side manner much like a crab Even more so when they are a Cancer Rising. They tend to only really open their souls to those precious to them and often times when Cancer Sun’s feel they’ve over shared they retreat and often times disappear unless reassured that the person is kind and honest. Cancer Suns despise fakes and those who are emotionally careless and rude so often times they can become dismissive and down right aggressive in an almost warrior like way when confronted by rudeness or self centered behavior. Cancer Suns have a pronounced sexuality, as they represent femininity in it’s motherly form they often embody it’s glow and sway whilst remaining Innocent and seemingly unknowing. Cancer Sun’s often become more balanced as they age as many of them see their progressed sun move into Leo which aids with the confidence and the ability to balance out their darker head spaces that arise emotionally. They can have Strong emotions and because of this in some cases some people with this placement can struggle with such things such as depression and and or manic depression, that being said this is not a product of having sun in cancer, this can happen to anyone. Cancer Suns do have fluctuating emotional states that can fly between happy weeks and months to times of solemn and lethargic states and this is often more so seen in all cancer Suns no matter whether they are in a good place or bad. the key for them is to learn identification so that way they can deal with the emotion when it comes and let it run it’s course without submerging themselves in it. Cancer suns often battle with the concept of Nurture Vs Nature. To them they feel as if it’s their divine purpose to care for others, and they feel like people should be caring enough to consider more than just themselves but in truth the world isn’t always like that and some people are indeed selfish and often times this realization of self motivation perplexes Cancer suns because on a deeper level they don’t know how to disconnect from their need to solely focus on the well being of others whilst also worrying about their own health and emotional well being.

Sun In The Fourth House: The Deity Tsukuyomi

Song: Daughter - Numbers

Ah These natives are truly a never ending Dream starting so pleasant and continuously transitioning like phases of the moon into A nightmare, a sunset, a wet dream, a night terror over and over.These natives are Vague in their difference From their sun counterpart. They seem Emotional and Actually are just as emotional as their actions give way for them to be. But in reverse order these natives do sentimental actions in seldom as they prefer to hide their softer side and present a more aloof front. Unlike Cancer suns the idea of being nice for the sake of it isn’t their forte, rather niceness that is earned is more their language. they admire a certain level of genuine feeling but despise it at the same time due to the roller coaster it sends them on. They often remind me of the Japanese God Tsukuyomi for their tenacity, their often proud and pious nature that dare i say is more Leo archetype than Leo is itself. These natives are proud of their home, to them home is a castle but oddly enough a castle they can’t stand to stay in for to long. They are not homebodies and in many cases tend to see a desire for exploration outside their home towns and often times the countries itself. These natives suffer from emotionally impulsive streaks, often entangling themselves in situations without guarding their heart because unlike Cancer suns these natives have no emotional awareness, they play everything by ear including their heart and that often throws them in an inescapable abyss that tends to devour them. Though these natives are kind at times they are also pompous, they are loving but they’re selfish about how this love is expressed. They want everything on their time often forgetting about the emotional side of things for other people and this is where they get in trouble and why people at times find them overbearing or unreachable. These natives are passionate and insanely creative, often the magnitude of this creativity as limitless as their reservoir of emotion. They wear everything loudly but also hide parts that they need when it’s convenient.  these natives are rather childlike in their personality due to the fact that they don’t care much if their blatant about their disinterest or lack of concern and dare i say this is one of their worst and best traits. They don’t fake it and love or hate them they don’t give a shit. They can be tremendously spiteful though which is even more so pronounced in the feminine energy than it is the masculine. Their struggle lies in the concept of To Have and Not to have, they often times fall prey to the desire to feast and never end never once realizing that once it’s all gone they’ll have nothing. They also fail sometimes to except that just because they want to have something the other person or people in question do not also have to want it and this at times is where they minds clash, because they genuinely do not understand why people are not seeing it their way. Their moods are worse than cancer suns due to the fact that they are not aware of they are having them, this means that they can fly into a mean state without realizing they’ve shifted and this at times can make them seem far more unpredictable then they mean to be. These natives are so loving and genuinely do mean well but their ego does get the best of them with this placement quite a bit.

Sun In Leo Vs Sun In The Fifth House:

(The Sun God Ra Vs The God Of Destruction Shiva)

Sun In Leo: The Sun God Ra

Song: Empress of - Should’ve 

In Certain Ways one can always find themselves confused at the hands of Leo Suns, As direct, Honest and bold as they may be parts of their personality are layered in rather elusive undertones. Leo suns are typically Vibrant, confident souls who march to the beat of their own blazing chariot and drum to match, but much of this bravado is burning so fervently as a means of hiding the softer and in many ways more docile side of these native. They pursue life in a zesty and at times rather emotionally flighty manner as to not ruffle the feathers of those who can’t keep up with them though they can’t help but relish in the fact that they themselves create energy and disperse it where ever they go and not one person can take that away from them. Despite this though Leo suns battle with their Ego on a daily basis and it’s a battle they don’t show the world. Much to their lament their heart at times has a goal of it’s own and no matter how hard they try to live by the flame eventually their flames seethe and reveal their true nature which is much more unsure, much more sentimental and compassionate. Leo Suns are deeply feeling and them being a fixed sign makes these emotions hit like an entire solar system when it happens. Though they hate to admit it they are sensitive, they want to be loved and seen authentically but are also scared of this vulnerability. For the masculine energy this can cause a flighty nature especially in the realm of the heart. Many masculine Leo’s will brake up or pull the “it’s a little too much for me” “ i think maybe we should take a brake” “i want to keep things casual,” approach with romance and things can be going great, marriage worthy and suddenly they pull out. Why? well Leo suns in their masculine spirit are deeply fearful of their feminine side, to them the idea of submission in any form even if it’s to their own heart is a weakness and one they would rather avoid. When this happens they trick themselves into becoming more sexual, more in need of the bachelor life style when in reality they know deep down they want your love, to be loved and accepted whole beyond the meaningless ass kissing they receive. This back and forth nature of their’s does continue sometimes but once they truly open their heart their love is that of a thousand burning blue suns turning the most tremendous white. For them love is their weakness and they seek to present this strong and rather disconnected stance for as long as they can because to them maintaining that powerful and free energy is their soul and to give up their soul for love is their destiny albeit one they detest. These natives are insanely willful and will fight tooth and nail to create, explore and build no matter the obstacle but that being said these natives battle their need to “escape” which can often lead them into addictive behavior as they need to run away from the feeling especially once the flames start to die down. These natives tend to be emotionally unavailable and give everyone the most calm and yet sincere showing of love but underneath i promise their is a depth and well of passion. In the feminine Leo energy is calm and proud but it is also more in-tune with the need for emotion and softness despite the universal Leo energy need for emotional tightness as to not show the world their hide. These natives often struggle with the Theme of Acknowledgement vs Rejection. For them the idea of acknowledging a weakness, a love or a vulnerability is death for them so as a result they reject it for as long as they can however they can and in this process they destroy themselves and the relationships they hold dear. they spend much time wrapped in the concept of accepting the way the feel and not running away from the side of the selves that isn’t shrouded in those glamorous flames. They are caring beyond belief despite the way those flames may fool the world, And dare i say out of many of the signs Leo Sun’s genuinely have hearts of gold in every way. Though Much Like Ra these natives are seen by many under many guises and faces many of which are farther away from the true kinded hearted soul underneath that truly is as radiant as the sun.

Sun In The Fifth House: The God Of Destruction Shiva

Song: Empress Of - Need Myself 

These Natives are quite the storm of Passion and at times this can be the very damning thing in their life. These natives live by the code of fire and tend to burn and burn never realizing their flames are eating up those they care-fore just as much as their foes. They tend to be Patronizing, Domineering, Physical, animated, Passionate and driven Though at times they loose sight of those who marched with them once the goal is reached. They Adore gratification but also don’t believe others deserve it out of their idea of what it looks like to dig fingers in the dirt for something. They believe in fighting for the just things but in saying this they themselves resent people who need to feel honored for doing such a thing. See these natives despise yet love praise, to them praise feels like honey and milk but has the after taste of cleaning solution and dirt. They want to feel needed but despite co-dependence. they want to feel it all but get lost in the feeling. for them their world is one big cyclone of events they just happen to take part in but they also don’t enjoy the drama that comes along with it though it secretly fuels them. to them life is to be tamed and those who are tamed by it are simply unlucky. They value intimacy above all else because in their eyes real intimacy cannot be faked, but they have a tendency to over identify with sex and intimacy almost using it as a bargain when in reality sex and intimacy are simply a pleasant moment between people. These natives can at times be addicted to the chaos and the negligence though they try to mask it as a pursuit of fun and liveliness. Much like Shiva these natives Believe that in order to create things must be tore the fuck up in order for them to really ever be real. The arguments, the tears, the ups and downs make it real for them and usually the lack of it can drive them mad. They prioritize their romances because that’s in a sense their focal point, their sun, their divine purpose but as you can imagine it is also their worst trait as it makes them incredibly insatiable for love but it also damages them greatly when they are alone without love in life. in Feminine energy the pursuit for love isn’t as all consuming and many focus more on their art and the beauties of children and theater many times over these natives live in the club as if it is some gorgeous ballroom whilst others paint and dance as if they where in a room with all the may gods. Masculine energies tend to be on the hunt for something, be it sex, be it themselves, be it a mighty battle to delight in they constantly pursue their own ideal of the sun no matter the activity in question. These natives tend to show all their rawness even their heart because unlike Leo suns they are not fearful of their deeper emotions which is a blessing and curse at times. They tend to battle against Wrath and Happiness. For them a constant state of turmoil is their fuel but the idea of happiness in its all scares them as they fear it will bring stagnancy and boredom along with it. they want to maintain their circulation of storms and tribulations and at times happiness intimidates them as it represents completion and often times completion is not yet what they desire. 

Sun In Virgo Vs Sun In The Sixth House:

(Death God Iku Vs King Yan God of Death, Of The Ten Kings Of Hell)

Sun In Virgo: Death God Iku

Song: Brent Faiyaz- Make Luv

Sun in Virgo natives aren’t so much as something you can readily identify, they are not necessarily a thing as much as they are a what. They feel good, but they also surround you like a presence rather than a physical being. They often times feel like something carnal and ethereal but at the same time gravitate away from this by their realistic and rather internally discontent energy. They seem like they are just moving through the world, like a child who found out Santa was nothing more than a fable.They want and need to be needed but this desire is rooted in their early understanding of relevance being tied to usefulness. To be relied on is better than sex for them as it feeds their inner desire to be needed. Though we say this one might also call this their greatest weakness as their dependency on being needed swarms their lives into situations that allow them to be used and rather than be sad about it they seek out more situations until these woes mount a rather steep hill deep in their psyche. They often suffer from their fair share of demons because of their blind ignorance to their own pain, to them the pain is merely a small price to pay for those small moments of being needed, being useful in that moment they are seen more than any hug, child, parental love or sexual liaison can provide. Much Like Iku these natives live amongst the shadows as a presence, fading in and out of situations like a black smoke. They love the idea of being around others but they secretly loathe it as deep down they feel the attention is swirling away from them. most feminines with this placement suffer immensely as they struggle to separate being needed from being used and separating love from hate.To them the occasional grips outlast the major ones but in reality the small ones are the ones that leave the deepest wounds, while the big ones just leave a gaping hole that was already their to begin with.They admire work ethic and creativity in others as its something they too seek to connect with but they often burn out constantly due to their lack of emotional focus. they often jump in and out of happy and down periods with the down periods out weighing the happy ones due to them not genuinely pursuing their own vices of their own free will. though they care for others they don’t really love themselves which is many times over why they purposely play the game of how long can i rip myself apart subconsciously as they systematically replay the same scenarios with the same ending. Sex is another dimension to Virgo suns, they much Like Gemini Suns see it as a curiosity but due to their earthy component the curiosity instantly dies as soon as their sensual mind catches up with what is really happening. They want and need mental as well as true physical compatibility which can only happen when they align themselves with their emotional self. This circus act tends to continue as the biggest struggle for this sign is My pain vs your pain dynamics. They never know when to draw the line and ultimately they get eaten up by it. The masculines suffer the greatest as they are prone to holding on to their past hurts and using it as justification for mistreatment of people that come after. in their eyes the world was cruel to them so why can’t they be the god and return the favor and this is often why they endure the worst as the universe punishes them tend fold.

Sun In the Sixth House: King Yan, Of the Ten Kings Of Hell

Song: Brent Faiyaz - Insecure 

As many of you may Know we look to the sixth house as the house of structure, day to day activities, routines and health yet for a native with their sun here the health and the health of others can be an ongoing theme in their lives.They Are constantly running on an internal schedule one that can seem to make all of the minutes in a day pure agony. They tend to be meticulous in some cases whilst in others they seem to be following some sort of silent bell that tells them the when and where. Time management, organizing and even planning are their hidden talents mainly because when it comes to other people they are like death itself, constantly waiting, passing the time almost excited at the idea of putting everything together. They can seem detached but down to earth, their hallmark is their humility and bluntness but in some lower cases they can seem condescending and emotionally daft. They say and do things according to their mental comprised list of do’s and don’ts. most people fall in reaction and action types for them and they tend to formulate their actions and reactions in response to these but much like life itself many things are unexpected including people and this is often where these natives malfunction, they assume actions before they take place and are totally unprepared for the off chance things operate outside of that box. To them there is a steady cause and effect momentum that life runs by and often very little does life operate off this agenda. For them life can be stages and every stage represents different levels of turbulence for them, at times things are well and other times they seem unstable or at times they can seem rather abysmal but thats much like life no? things can shift in and out of focus. well you see for these natives that shift of focus can be earth shattering as they tend to revolve their life around specific situations at times which can be highly discombobulating for them when they hadn’t the time to prepare counter alternatives. These natives are quick mentally and typically love the idea of nature and it’s animals, many loving to surround themselves with lively animated pets. they tend to care for their pets and plants more than they do people at times as they naturally see nature and animals as their happy place and area of grounding. Work is also important to these natives so they can often be very proud and intense when it come to the job hunt as their job is often what they want to be known for, how good they do is always important to them. In the masculine energy this can make the men rather messy/earthy looking as they pick up their features from nature in a quite literal way. for the feminine energy types the mercurial influence gives that gender less tone once more whilst also adding a soothing and innocent beauty. these natives are often dealing with the theme of Time Vs Place. For them Time is always an issue, when is it the right time? they never know how much time to alot to moments in their which ends up creating states of drain in them, but the place has much to do with this as well as these natives fail to realize that the places they trap themselves in is a cause of their lack of time, very rarely do they set themselves in situations that give them enough time to exercise free time yet they find themselves wondering where all the time has gone when it was never there to being with.

Sun in Libra Vs Sun In The Seventh House:

(Loki The Trickster Vs Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery)

Sun In Libra: Loki The Trickster

Song: King Princess - Back Of a Cab

As an outsider looking in it may seem like Libra suns are impartial, Sweet and charming in a way that is both fleeting yet inviting, but among their well meaning disposition lay a certain anticipation of the camera cutting into the more grotesque scene. These natives Live almost as though they were a celebrity, their minds and energy go into the upholding of the idea they present. be it that they are a punk rock don’t need a man type, or maybe they are seen as a high ranking and family oriented politician, or mayhaps they are seen as the athlete or the singer with the smile of a cool summer evening. They wont ever showcase what lay underneath due to the real self being far more ominous then people are ready for. Libra suns are in reality stoic, serious, and unenthusiastic, this may sound bad but its in reality meaning that they aren’t as wrapped up in your shit as you may think. Libra suns present themselves as more caring and more involved then they really are as in all truth being cardinal their real focus at the end of the day is their own independent well being and whether or not anything is serving the purpose it needs within their lives. They are incredibly independent and dare i say even more than Aries suns. Libra suns really go through all the effort of seeming dependent and unknowing because it allows for people to see them as less of a threat, this in term gets them leighweigh in cultivating beneficial situations for themselves without a hassle. That being said they can get into trouble when the mask fades as people begin to realize their true nature. Libra suns are caring and gentle to those around them and this part is honest as they do have an appreciation for the sensual and often the beautiful aspects of relating to others. Though that being said they have a limit of to how much interaction with others they can stand for, to much of seeing someone can bore them and depending on the nature of the continued interaction they’ll often begin to wear their mask more fiercely as they are now beginning to fight their real self from telling you to leave them be. Libra suns are well meaning but at times they do find themselves caught between the mirror of deception, this shows itself as them getting caught up on past performances they’ve up-kept coming to bite them in the ass. They rationalize things here and there but for the most part much of what they may feel is felt deeply as they tend to see emotions as a gift and something they hold onto. The reason being that Libra suns seldom stay in a moment to long so often when a strong emotion catches them off guard they welcome it though if it’s a negative emotion they tend to retreat from it especially if it’s a romantic emotion that is moving along faster than intended. They are uplifting and selfless most times but selfish and rather clouded by their romances when they do come around. Their greatest struggle tends to be The real me vs the Me everyone Thinks is me. These natives play so deeply into their roles that they often times fly so far away from their own inner world that they forget what or how to identify their own feelings apart from the ones they have made everyone believe they are experiencing.

Sun In The Seventh House: Dolos/Dolus The Spirit Of Trickery 

Song: King Princess - Ohio 

These natives Unlike their Libra Sun Counterparts Exhibit traits that i can only describe as seemingly disengaged yet deeply engaged at the same take. They can seem as if they are wandering, mentally shifted in another place yet almost like a trance they heard every word, saw every movement they were analyzing you yet how could you tell? These natives are observant and often times the silence is their way of capturing the moment. They prefer talkative types as they reveal more and make that part of the interaction easier for them, but people who are overly mysterious or quiet tend to offset them as it gives them very little to work with and puts the balancing act on their back. They try to make others feel understood mainly because they themselves resonate so deeply with the process of finding oneself and understanding ones own true inner workings.These natives seem tricky and deceptive but rather its more or less the spirit they give off. They seem deceptive because they don’t reveal much, yet unknown to others they just don’t identify as heavily as most with the things in their life well enough to reveal much. The seem like tricksters because they know the right time to speak and the right time to act which can at times seem like they’re planning or scheming when in reality they are simply good readers of body language and social ques. they often times trail along a sadness that they can’t seem to attach a reason to but this sadness is often the shadow. unlike Libra suns these natives can’t pretend to be something mainly because they don’t really know who they are apart  from their immediate interactions with others. they have an idea but at times they feel like a shadow of something. The shadow self often tries to convince them to play roles, play into things that could possibly be them yet in actuality they know deep down that would only further the disassociation with themselves. love is a big thing for these natives but it always seems fleeting, as if all their good graces are wasted on individuals who never deserved their love. in an ironic twist though it is actually wonderful that these people come into their lives as they aid their journey to self discovery. These natives are genuine and kind hearted despite their rather quiet and too themselves nature. Their greatest battle is between The Loud Heart and The Quiet Heart. Often times these natives play into the feelings they can see but never into the ones they feel but cannot see, to them the emotions need to have a logic behind them and if not they shrug it off as a irrational emotion. They often times are terrified by their own depth mainly because it belongs to a side of themselves they are not yet familiar and this is the shadow.

Sun In Scorpio Vs Sun In The Eighth House:

(The Mighty Marques Aamon Vs Arch Angel Michael)

Sun In scorpio: The Mighty Marques Aamon

Song: Tove Lo - Are u Gonna Tell Her?

ah The mighty Scorpio sun, Riddled in the darker parts of human nature where they themselves seem to find a sense of curiosity and compulsion. These natives tend to be easy to spot, rather not for just their physical attributes but for their ominous and rather soul inquiring gaze. They see right through you and have already dressed every aspect of you soul a million times over as if it were a pull over scarf. They more often then not have an early look into the nastier side of man due to the influence of Pluto and Mars throwing down their intense calamity. See Pluto and Mars are not necessarily on equal grounding and often times Pluto ruffles Mars in just the right way for mars to gear up in aggression which then cause Pluto to polarize and become calculated and manipulative in order to gain the upper hand. due to this these natives tend to express the inner conflict outwardly as a hot and cold/off and on demeanor and approach to all things be it love, family, and even career’s. Scorpio Suns do not want to draw attention to their actions or their inner workings so much of their ego goes into sharing just enough to get what they need from others whilst revealing almost nothing of themselves. In lesser versions of Scorpio suns this can be problematic behavior as they soon become controlling, Gas light heavy and emotionally abusive to those close to them as a means of furthering their need to be in control. Make no mistake though Scorpio suns are typically battling their own demons the main difference being what part of their journey of healing they are on. Scorpio in feminine types tends to be the most afflicted as the overly competitive masculine ruling signs clashes with the more submissive or passive feminine energy. This clash is apart of what makes these natives so alluring and sensual, you can almost feel the war steaming over their skin, the pain in their eyes, the intensity, you feel all of it as if you where there with them. They tend to be very loving and loyal souls but can struggle with opening their hearts to real love, the kind that heals and extends it’s hand. Scorpio Suns have a bad knack for going after their mirror, and this in turn is apart of their journey but also a habit that must be broken. The reason is linked to the fact that Scorpios Suns are drawn naturally to people that force them to Acknowledge their trauma, darkness and inner instability which sends them on emotional benders that can last years if they are not careful. Often times the Scorpio Sun natives are in a constant flux where they must deal with Ex’s, Family dramas and at a deeper level mental brakes but this is all apart of their grand story despite how heavy the lows are. Scorpio suns as a whole struggle with the concept of Destruction and Rebirth. For them everything in their life has a life expectancy and once the time comes all things fall to ruin, only Scorpio suns obsess with the idea of rebirth leading to a form of longevity a way to ensure things never cease nor ware down..But in reality this continuously vicious cycle of Devastation and second life are draining for their spirits and their soul. It’s ok to let go and it’s okay for things to be at peace, just because there is no war at hand it is no cause for worry of an impending ending and often times these natives in their fear of this manifest their own endings. Much like the Mighty Demon Aamon these natives are compassionate and understanding but also careless, wild and wouldn’t hesitate to impose their will no matter the consequence to others. They have a hard time with the white Pickett fence lifestyle and often times find themselves craving the unknown, the unstable, the misfortune..they are drawn to it like mosquitoes to blood.

Sun in The Eighth House: Arch Angel Michael

Song: Tove lo- Passion& Pain Taste The same(Extended Version)

Sun in the Eighth house Natives are Emotionally adept, but noticeably scary in the sense that they always seem as if they are sizing you up, writing in pieces and parts of you personality so they themselves can further dig into you psyche  in a way that prevents you from pulling the wool over their eyes. unlike Scorpio Suns these natives aren’t a walking ball of tension rather they exude a mysterious and rather deceptive energy as if they are a black mist eroding away at the walls silently beyond your sight. They are just as Black and White as Scorpio suns but more dangerous due to the fact that they see the grey area clearly and choose when they’d like to include it in their perceptive analysis. They can have a military like energy to them, seeming authoritative and closed, while also having a rather shady nature to them even if they are not personally out to get anything at all. Often times people around them perceive them in a rather untrustworthy light even if they are the most honest person in the world, the reason being the eighth house squaring the energy of the Sun, it creates a Leo meets Scorpio Dynamic that creates friction in the outside world but not the bedroom. Sex is where these natives feel they can truly glow and shine, where they can truly unwind and express their true nature. Often times sexual addiction or sexual obsession can become apparent if the natives listen to their lower vibrations. They often times see people in a way of value and have a hard time letting go of them due to the bountiful potential they see in them. to these natives everyone on this earth has meaning no matter how small and that makes them irreplaceable. They often struggle with the idea of growing up Vs staying young. They often hold on to their youth, and even sometimes surround themselves by a younger audience as a means of ignoring father time who often forces them to confront the harsh realities of life. They often times battle with their mature side as it represents confronting their rigid more disillusioned side. they want to be optimistic but deep down they recognize the serious rather proud nature within themselves though they may try to shrug it off. They want their darkness to be excepted but simultaneously detest it as if it where a violent storm or pack of hounds set loose. despite this they have a rather intense nature but one that is more calm and mischievous then its Scorpio sun counterpart. Much like Michael these natives are dutiful but ruthless, if it gets them what they need they’ll execute it without issue no matter who is effected. They tend to follow orders and expect the same from others. they have an empress/emperor like energy which can at times seem intimidating and cold.

Sun In Sagittarius Vs Sun In The ninth House:

(Norse God Odin Vs Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus)

Sun In Sagittarius: Norse God Odin

Song: Cinnamon Chasers - Speeder 

These Natives do live up to their expansive Ruling planet, They at times are so high up in the sky that they forget there is a whole world around them. They are often distracted, Blunt, Mean, Cut throat, Philosophical and open minded whilst also somehow managing to be vibrant, Sincere and very hard lovers for those they hold dear. They can have trouble holding back their opinions and their ideas and once that mouth of their’s gets going it tends to be a real sucker punch. They adore adventure but tend to find adventure in their day to day life just as exciting. The traveling generalization is often true but for Sagittarius suns it’s not so much foreign cultures as it is experiencing something outside of their immediate normality. they can’t stand someone who doesn’t have any idea what they’re talking about and will dig your grave for you via words if you waste their time, every second is precious to a Sagittarius sun no matter how minor you may think it is. They are often very straightforward in their approach to all things which can be a good or bad thing depending on how strong willed you are to deal with such a strong force. They tend to live in their minds but unlike Gemini these thoughts and desires find their way into the real world which often time can lead them into some sketchy or bad situations due to how little thought or consideration went into the details of the thought itself. They are insanely willful folks and will fight anyone who intends on placing them into a set standard of expectations and rules. They are often creative and fair very well with bringing in their own unique spin to the things they create. certain emotions some of us spend years or days mulling over these natives typically pass through relatively swiftly. Nothing really is that serious to these natives, after-all in their eyes all that could be done has been done. They tend to have a rocky relationship with their emotional hemisphere and thats often where the underdeveloped lot of this sun sign seek out their flighty and or venomous tongue to defend themselves. they often are quite sensitive and loving but struggle to apply this as its a foreign concept to them. Their flightiness is also deeply rooted in their need to chase, to constantly be on the hunt for their divine pleasure. The masculine and feminine both fall prey to this. Similarly to Odin these natives are creative, expansive in their mentality, leaders, explorers and deeply intellectual beings bent on understanding the world and all within it too it’s fullest extent. Their greatest struggle tends to be between the Should i stay vs should i go dynamic. They are always leaving the people and things they have no business leaving behind yet sticking around for the nonsense that truly serves them no other purpose but sex, false validation or presenting a sort of illusion. 

Sun In The Ninth House: Pantheon God Of Olympus Zeus

Song: Cinnamon Chasers -Luv Deluxe 

For these natives the differences can be a little harder to tell, though if anything they stand out even more so than it would for a Sagittarius sun. These natives have a inspirational mind, Dexterous, and very good at micro-managing their own energies. They do suffer from a horrid resting bitch face and cannot hold their tongue when it comes to most things as they prefer to say exactly whats on their mind but this happens more unknowingly for them than it does for their sun sign counterpart. these natives share Zeus’s promiscuous nature, finding it relatively easy to move on from person to person due to the way they look at relationships being stepping stones that further them along to their perfect match. Not very often do these natives find themselves in one position for two long as they suffer from restlessness more than any fire sign or other fire house combined. to them The day is meant to be explored and often times these adventures are completely random as their desire to expand can come suddenly like a blast of cold air. They tend to also enjoy their fair share of tattoos, body augmentations, and hair dyes. Anything that allows them to heighten their experience which in many cases also includes drugs, as the natives love being able to awaken the parts of themselves unattainable during the day. They are partiers but also at times very studious. many are very dedicated to the idea of college while others drop out due to feeling they can find other ways to expand and create on their own. This native is often dualistic in the sense that they can pursue one path for some time and then completely fly off the rail and start a new path abruptly and this personality trait is something that continues as time goes on. They are very giving souls nonetheless and willingly sacrifice and support those they care about with ease be it paying for their food, letting them stay at their house or borrow their clothes. The thing is these natives are good at assessing the boundary and can very easily tell you to leave or that they want to be alone, because although they are kind they also still know their own personal needs matter just as much at the end of the day. They often inquire much about the emotional side of things because they often don’t understand the emotions of others nor what motivates their actions which is their greatest source of frustration. Their main struggle much like Zeus is Abundance Vs Accumulation. They often crowd on things for the sake of having it, but fail to find the the value or usefulness in the very things they are allowing into their life. They must learn to value the things around them otherwise it just ends up being a bunch of furniture with plastic wrap, unused and wasted. They are just as tenacious, gallant, charismatic and strong as Zeus but in hindsight they are just as rude, Oblivious and insatiable as him in their worst.

Sun In Capricorn Vs Sun In The Tenth House:

(Hades Vs Buddha)

Sun In Capricorn: Hades

song: Delilah- Touch me 

If i could describe these natives in a sense i would say they are gifted with a great curse and a Mighty Blessing, and that would be their ability of seeing exactly the deeper nature of an individual without any actual spoken word. They are people readers plain and simple and a great many of them gorge themselves on their hobby of people watching. To them humanity is a big social project and one they are endlessly applying their vast many of skills in decoding. They have an inner earthiness to them that can energetically make them seem slower in their reactions but overly abundant in spirit when it comes to the more physical aspects of life. They have a very emotional relationship with success and money so often times they tend to neglect the other meats of life in favor of money which at times can leave them lonely in the midst of their success. They can have an intimidating aura, one that reaks of sadness and woe in the masculines or one that reaks of intensity and confidence in the feminines. The sun in Capricorn natives have a naturally polarizing emotional state, at times seeming calm, happy or at least passably content to more stoic, lost and emotionally unavailable the moment Saturn’s gloom sinks his teeth into them. they often times find themselves trapped in a current of weight, often times softer things like relaxation, vacations, and even moments of idle are very rarely enjoyed by these natives as often very deep within they feel intense guilt at the experience of any pleasure for too long. to these natives there is a constant nagging voice telling them to “move” and push ahead, the moment they stop the voice becomes a vicious void that can often times give these natives their well known devilish energy. These natives practice restraint subconsciously and often times limit themselves as a means of a deeper rooted paranoia that if they are truly at their best, truly free, everything will come undone. These natives have a life based upon hidden fears that have no real face but often times are tied to Saturn who nurtures the idea in them that things could go wrong at the drop of the hat and that letting ones guard down even for a moment can lead to a very painful lesson. They tend to be loving, and deeply sensitive souls but very hardly ever do they show this face. Masking and false advertising is their forte, pretending to be malicious, cool, aloof, and empty if often easier then showing their bubbly, talkative, and rather softly romantic and tender nature. Love can be a source of pain for them due to the fact that much like all who have Saturn in a prominent place, a lesson is always to be had. these natives tend to learn that love is something that is seldom on par with the level of dedication and patience they exhibit towards their own life, often times fueling their cynical view towards love as a whole. They love intently and with all of their soul, never leaving the side of their lovers but at the same time this love and loyalty comes after years upon years of work and foundation as these natives loathe intimacy or love that seems to flighty or ungrounded in it’s intent. they tend to be spiritual but this is something they grow more intune with the older they get. They tend to be caught in the struggle of maybe it'll be different this time vs already knowing the outcome. The harsh part for these natives is that they deep inside want to give people the benefit of the doubt, they want to be whimsical and naive but it is something to riddled with consequence which they already know and often times they are trapped in a tug of war of was i right to give up on this, to shut down, to close off, was i to harsh, was i to fast to do it? but often times the moment they ignore their intuition the pain is often a violent reminder that they should’ve listened to their gut. these natives much like hades understand the depth of their commitments and find dedicating themselves to things a rigor to be expected but one that is earned not just jumped into head first without proper caution. They live in the dark, ominous and heavy seated parts of life but because of them everything is in order, everything is collected and well placed as it should be. 

Sun In The Tenth House: Buddha 

Song: Delilah - Love you so

Sun In the Tenth housers are drastically different from their fourth house sun counterparts in the respect that where one is Pious, emotionally erratic and arrogant the other is cold, emotionally distanced and humble. These natives prefer quiet as opposed to a loud obnoxious display of the self. To them your work and actions should speak more for your character than some inflated actions or stories. They love intense encounters and often find themselves at the center of powerful people be it bad or good. they enjoy a certain level of unpredictability in thought rather than actually carried out in reality. if i could describe them i’d say they are the emotionally aware bad girl/boy. they enjoy the discretion of the social norm but also have a longing for more structure in their lives. for these natives people are only so interesting to them, once they figure them out the concept presented in getting to know the individual goes out the window. The only real intrigue to them is an ever changing situation, person or thing, anything with a predictable end is often a source of contempt for them. Emotionally they can run HOT like a supernova but then suddenly cool as if all the suns across multiple galaxies vanished into thin air leaving a stark, rigid cold. They tend to adore darkness in others only until this very darkness starts to lose it’s luster. a preference for being a savior for others is present but once again the back and forth nature of this placement and it’s obsession with the idea of disharmony yet simultaneously needing peace. they have a rather neutral perspective in life due to their fluctuating taste, and much like the Buddha they live by a strong law of what you give is what you get, what you do comes back to you and that for every action done, their is an effect waiting for it. Despite this these natives tend to be on the more mischievous side of things seeking a sort of imagined excitement that never ever seems to come. Romantically they are the type to fall hard but also the type to run from anything that is to emotionally saturated. they don’t care for love yet it always finds them anyways, the key with them is that they need it to be paced, anything rushed, anything impulsive or quickly proposed tends to push them deep in their hole. they love sensual affection and touch and often love to place their hands on everything and anything, to feel it in their palms, on their skin, in their hair...they eat up the environment like it were the sea making waves around them. Often times they can have a melancholic sense of humor and seem rather out of touch with their surroundings at times. They prefer loneliness as opposed to bad company and at times the bad company in their eyes is the entirety of human society. They can seem pretentious, Mean, and wildly judgmental with their sharp tongue but if you listen closely at times these natives speak truths you yourself know are true but are not ready to accept. i often call these natives fortune tellers as they speak in foreshadowing tones that allude to future happenings. They often struggle with the heart vs the head. at times they live so much in their mind that the longings of their heart feel like weird wire entanglements that they are not familiar with. They know their heart longs for things but their mind for the life of them can never really make sense of it, to them its all a bunch of gibberish but it often is why they always feel that internal and eternal missing in their lives, as if something should be there but never really is. 

Sun In Aquarius Vs Sun In The Eleventh House: 

(Goddess of Death Hela Vs Moon God Lilith)

Song: SHYGIRL - Freak

So today we speak on one of the most complex and virtually paradoxical sun signs to date, Aquarius suns. These natives are well deserving of their rather multi-layered face, often times seeming like a box with never ending compartments and staircases leading to new basements and by theory new worlds and realities. Often times their level of competency can fly between intellectually dualistic to emotionally dualistic. They can seem like they understand you and at times the depth of this understanding would surprise you despite their seemingly detached nature. Despite this more soft side of their ego make no mistake their god complex is sitting eerily close to the surface. Unlike Gemini suns, there is no second face in the water bearer rather their is only this continuous current that fluctuates between a heavy stream of a light stream and which stream you get depends solely on the level of intellectual enticement the Aquarius sun native can glimpse within you. There is an apparent darkness in these natives but it’s mainly due to their co-rulership of saturn dancing with the erratic demon uranus. These two planets complete each other but they also tug at one another strings in a rather violent and stormy like way, causing a strange ground up and sky to floor motion in these natives moods. One moment they can be rebellious, restless, goofy and rather unbothered and the next moment they can seem stoic, impersonal, detached and down right moody. they love proving others wrong but they also take a great pride in watching a stance someone has held so tightly in pride come crashing down once the sun in Aquarius native corrects them. they take great pride in their mental dexterity but at times can be overwhelmed by the constant and never ending current of thought. They have a tendency to come across as hardheaded and hellbent on their way being the right way as they often despite their airy nature are still intensely fixed. that being said they are deeply curious of society and the world around them, often taking time to learn and study the varying cultures and systems in the immediate environment as well as the environment as others. very many tend to find themselves drawn to humanitarian pursuits albeit a bit shy at first in many cases due to the fact that they themselves don’t always understand their pull to the collective. These natives tend to be loners contrary to belief and find it very difficult at times to cope with their occasional existential crisis as they often find that they don’t really relate or connect to the world or time frame they happen to be apart of. They at times like the idea of being misunderstood while other times they wish atleast one person could peer into their mind and document their beautiful and uniquely grafted mental space but that would be far to available for their liking. Making friends is something that seems like a powerful need for these natives and often times something they struggle with as they often find that they confuse friendship and romance. often projecting more romantic/relationship tendencies on their friendships and projecting more friendship/acquaintance tendencies on their romantic relationships. They do enjoy the idea of being in love or being emotionally connected to others but in a lot of ways they don’t really understand it as much as they’d want to. they tend to in a similar fashion as Hela deem themselves as higher beings who happen to be misunderstood. they view themselves as starving intellects who the world neglects in favor of stupidity and mental stagnancy, a stagnancy that the Aquarius suns believe they can rescue the world from if they listened to them.. Their greatest battle lay in the concept of wisdom vs Virtue. They see these things as separate ideologies, often presented as fallacies rather than something applicable, to them wisdom is unreliable due to the fact that simply knowing something or how it may pan out does not necessarily omit outside factors that alter this variable, and virtue in itself seems like something self assured, but in their eyes something self assured is also prone to change due to the unstable base it is presented upon. so they tend to struggle with letting themselves go to the unknown presented in spirituality, which is often the missing piece to their puzzle. Many of these natives tend to be bisexual, that being said any sign can be bisexual or gay, or so on, the case is that with Aquarius suns, they have such a deeply set ambiguous eternal self that can at times find that it relates more to the energy of others than it does the physical body, especially since for these natives sex and love are not hand in hand as much as mind and body are. 

Sun In The Eleventh House: The Moon God Lilith 

Song: SHYGIRL - Rude

These natives are very unique in the sense that dare i say this is the darkest position for the sun to be in. It creates a tug a war, between the sun and itself as nothing more than a cold white glow. They are charismatic and open, but closed and mysterious. on a hand they can seem welcoming and so entrancing in their approaches, seeming as if they adore the crowd but if you really see them they are intense, perplexed, to themselves and endlessly distrustful. A good word for them is willful and Loudly willful at that. They will not and cannot be moved without their own desire and often times the source of what moves them is unknown to them as well. a complicated requiem of pain swirls within them but the source often alludes them as it stems for a combination of things that have moved around like chess pieces in a chess game with no players in seat. They experience pain but they never claim it rather its seated somewhere and moved around again and again until it origin is blurry to the natives. Pompous at times with their beliefs they are well being, they have an obsessive nature with friendships often deeming them to hold seniority above most things, at times seeing them as extensions of their own ego. the less they understand amongst  their friends the weaker they feel. loving them can be complicated as they are always evolving, changing and dying off ridding pieces of themselves as if they were spring cleaning their souls. They do deal with their darker sides mainly because unlike most of us these natives skeletons never really do go in the closet rather they stand loud and proud in the face of the native so they can face them. They tend to be sensitive but also adaptable so the sensitivity can seem elusive as they tend to firmly glue shut the smallest weakness in themselves the moment it is introduced. They value the feelings of others more then even their own at times but there is often a nice balance between their care for others and the care they have for themselves. They can seem unnerving and captivating as their energy tends to feel like a sultry, in control and rather sophisticated energy though they may not recognize it within themselves. They often times fly in and out of asexuality and this deals more with their emotional state if anything. they at times don’t connect to other people in the way we all do, they see the physical beyond it’s self which can at times cause complete disconnect during moments of intimacy or sex. They often battle the idea of am i complete vs am i incomplete. they never truly know if they have all the pieces aligned and much like Lilith they often times feel an innate need to find the truth, to rebel and quarrel until it all makes sense. they can seem nomadic and ruthless because of this due to the fact that they are willing to do whatever it takes to fuel their desire for self discovery. gender roles and social constraints bore them often times and this makes them feel tense and confined when they are in an overly oppressive or traditional environment 

Sun In Pisces Vs Sun In The Twelfth House: 

( The God Of Creation Brahma Vs Jesus Christ, Son Of God)

Sun In Pisces: The God Of Creation Brahma

Song :Sevdaliza - Dormant

Much Like A dark sea, with waves reaching the clouds and dancing with visible silent but reverberating shocks of light in the sky these natives present a wildly pretty, yet ominous duplicity within their soft and gooey disposition. They can seem rather intangible, yet despite their hard to grasp wetness they can see you, read you and be inside of you like water and dissipate like fog before your very eyes. They are insanely sensitive but unlike the other water signs they are also every other sun sign dressed as one. They have many traits, they carry the impulsive nature of Aries, the sensual and rather harmonious nature of Taurus, the duality and wit of Gemini, The soft and protective nurturing of Cancer, the Amorousness and rather playfully romantic nature of Leo, the Calculated, yet realistic side of Virgo though they fight it.., the Co-dependent yet charming nature of Libra, The emotional intensity and depth of Scorpio, The gun-ho, and rather Flighty nature of Sagittarius, the steady and rigid side of Capricorn, and the Eccentric and rather erratic momentum of Aquarius. thats what makes them so terrifying, they are all things but also nothing at all in theory, a Pisces sun is a reflection of you, their environment, they in theory have no one set manner of being. These natives have a way of seeming completely present, so totally engulfed in you but once reality catches up with them they can seemingly turn into smoke, vanishing into thin air as if they never truly felt anything to begin with. What happened? well Pisces suns are very dualistic in nature, one fish dives in recklessly and the other fish brings them both back to reality and slows things down. Pisces do not readily settle down nor do they readily make any commitments to others be it friends, lovers and even family. everything means more to a Pisces native so they often times need plenty of time to think of the many options, possibilities and outcomes even if they don’t have a clear idea of what they may look like. they tend to be heavily compassionate but can struggle with creating boundaries between their woes and the woes of others. at times they see pain as a shared experience rather than a mission to be experienced solely with the self. in masculines this energy is HARD to handle. it can cause them to get drowned in the Neptune pool, often times making them liars, unstable or emotionally unavailable. in the feminine energy they tend to handle it well though in both energy types the flighty rather slippery side of them is always present, they can seem like they are dodging you or running away but in reality they just shift in and out of feelings like changing currents. they are deeply spiritual and many tie themselves to the unknown as if they were birthed from it. They believe in a higher space, that all things flow in the direction they must with or without intervention. They fear evil in others and often try to save and rescue those who’ve lost their way but many learn overtime that saving is at times not different from enabling. Their biggest fight is flight vs confrontation. These natives much like the god Brahma Are capable of creating and putting together projects and parts of the world in ways that would make all the gods jealous. they have a hand for beauty and making things however they must in a beautifully designed manner...that being said they often shy away from people and things that are good for them due to their fear of themselves and others. deep down they fear the idea of being seen completely as it means all of those 12 faces must fade and the fish must truly present all the parts of itself and thats often when they try to swim away. They fear the concept of being totally seen, totally embraced in the same manner that they do others because then they would have to acknowledge their weakness, Love, receiving honest love scares them as to them the camera is finally on them.

Sun In The twelfth House: Jesus Christ, Son Of God

Song: Sevdaliza - wallflower

We now come to the last of the houses. These Natives have an abundance of mist that shrouds them, much like a cloak or a long blast of light from the heavens surrounding them in its glow. They don’t normally stand out, many times having a rather passive and calm demeanor, seeming polite but not overly open nor connected. Though upon further inspection one can clearly make out their rather attentive eye for human emotion and human desire. they can seemingly pin point the sorrow in others, the dreams, the level of comfort one seeks and once they have scoped it out they often adapt to the particular need in question. See for them it’s more about creating an air of easy peace and the best way to do that is complete neutrality via adaptability. They often times remove all the traits associated with their sun sign and wear a veil, dare is say they become a spitting image of Jesus christ, suddenly they are able to collectively calm the crowd with little to no effort besides a few well placed personality augmentations to fit everyone's individual levels of comfort. They radiate a sadness, a deep sadness that is often glossed over with a false happiness, a ominously passive good natured state of passivity as to not allude to the rather turbulent well of waves and storms going on behind the scenes. Sleeping and a constant state of tiredness often plagues these natives, their energy often always seems half full even if they got a days full of sleep. They never truly feel at 100% which can at times give off a irritable or tired vibe to them. They tend to handle stress well but at the same time they usually can only do one emotion at a time, meaning that much of their inner feelings get compartmentalized into manageable spaces as to not cause them any issue. they like love, but they don’t have boundaries necessary to differentiate being used from being loved. at times they can purposely seek out bad things for them in order to feel needed but in reality they are ensuring that they never really feel happy because deep down they feel it is their fate to take on someone else baggage. They tend to be terrified of good people, stable people, as they represent a missing aspect within themselves. they often push away the good ones in favor of the bad ones because ultimately choosing to be with someone who actually cares about them means they would have to learn to care about themselves which is often something they are not ready to do. Self love is the fear for these natives as it involves uncluttering their inner psyche which is already damaged beyond what they think they can even repair. The struggle here is often do i love me Vs should i even love me? they often times view self love as selfish and deem it as an unnecessary virtue but at the same time they view it as a needed acceptance. hating themselves and self punishment is an easy go to for them because it removes accountability but in the end it always comes back and leaves a wave of carnage in it’s wake. much like Jesus these natives are sacrificing, enduring and deeply of strong faith in humanity but.. humanity always makes endless wounds, and scars in these natives..as they often get to see the worst sides of human nature as they grow mistaking their numbness for compassion. In reality they are kind and loving but this is often a defense mechanism rather than a state of just being. 

Hope you guys enjoy!