#but more importantly because I loved the idea of being “sunshine”

[delusional-day-dreamer]

First. Love. Part² - p.b

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‣ paige bueckers x oc

‣ wc: 12079 (this took me way too long but I got carried away...)

‣‣ synopsis: background on paige and jenna's relationship, how they met, fell in love, and how paige ended up becoming jenna's first heartbreak and eternal muse.

‣‣‣ a/n: So High School Part 2 will be out soon (i have no idea where to take the plot in that series 😔), this is sort of a filler chapter in between the podcast episode in part 3 to give context. EDIT: I changed Jenna's major to be Business Economics with a minor in Film, Television, and Digital Media because it's more relevant for the later plot!

June 30th, 2016 (summer before freshman year; 14 years old)

Jenna's POV:

You didn't know how much more of this stupid city you could handle. You had just locked your front door behind you as you left to go to the pool inside your new neighborhood, excited to read a book you had bought the other day while sunbathing on a lounge chair.

Your parents had just uprooted your life and moved you from San Diego, California, land of sunshine, beaches, and only a small amount of criminal activity, to middle of nowhere Hopkins, Minnesota, right before you started high school with all of your old friends.

Of course you understood that this was for the better of your family, both of your parents had gotten new jobs at a huge hospital with far better pay than their previous ones, they found a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood close to what was going to be your new school, and living in your dad's hometown meant being close to his family.

However, none of these facts soothed the bitter taste in your mouth that formed at the thought of having to be the new kid, having no friends to hang out with for the rest of summer or to start school off with, no job or classes to distract your never-ending train of thoughts, and you didn't even have a sibling to act as your built in friend.

Regardless, you tried your best to adjust to your new, albeit lonely, life by distracting yourself as much as possible. Your parents had re-enrolled you in music lessons the same week you finished moving into your house, gave you an allowance to buy new clothes and hang out at the local mall, as you very quickly realized your Californian wardrobe would not fit the Minnesota weather, despite it being summertime (although you hadn't gone yet as you hated shopping alone), and you had even been going to the pool frequently with the hopes of meeting kids close to your age.

And it just so happened that today, your prayers had been answered. As you were walking down the street, the door to a house you had just crossed by across the street had barely opened before a small boy barrels out, closely followed by a taller, blonde girl who appeared to be around your age, locking the door behind the two of them. You weren't able to put a finger on it, but there was simply something about the girl that was mesmerizing, just a quick glance at her had you wanting to know more.

You had always known you liked girls to some extent, you always found yourself gazing at the t.v. in wonder at the beautiful girls displayed upon the screen. However, it wasn't until probably a hundred, "Am I Gay?" internet quizzes later in seventh grade you recognized the fact that you were queer and were in fact attracted to girls, you just didn't bother telling anyone about this revelation.

In particular, the girl in front of you invoked millions of questions that raced through your mind: who was she, was she your age, was she going to the same high school as you, and most importantly, why was she so pretty? Her blonde hair cascaded down her back with a slight wave to them, her white oversized t-shirt and black basketball shorts draped over her tall frame, and her voice that rang out as she scolded the little boy who ran in front of her to the end of their walkway.

God, her voice was the most intoxicating thing you had ever heard, luring you into her like a siren's song to the depths of the ocean. You swore you were floating at the twinkling sound of her laughter echoing around the block as she joked with, who you head her refer to as, her little brother.

You snapped out of your stunned daze and continued walking forward as she followed her little brother onto the main sidewalk, now almost parallel with your frame. You were mentally counting your blessings that she hadn't looked up enough to see your stalker-esque figure staring at her, although you were praying that she happened to be going to the pool as well (definitely not so you could look at her some more).

Truly, God had decided to pay special attention to you today, as your blonde neighbor grabbed her little brother's hand as she crossed the street, making her way towards you. You couldn't help but glance at her as she approached you, and you were taken aback by the shockingly blue eyes that met yours. You gave her a tight-lipped smile as she stepped up to the sidewalk just behind you, hoping your internal panic wasn't apparent on your face as you faced forward once again.

Your focus on taking deep breaths in and out to not embarrass yourself in front of the first person your age you've even made eye contact with in the last month is interrupted by the little boy running past you, gently bumping into your leg as he brushes past you. His short legs are working overtime to maintain a pace faster than both you and the pretty stranger, who had now jogged up next to you to keep close to her brother.

"Drew the pool isn't gonna run away by the time we get there, you gotta slow down buddy," She called out to the curly-headed child, turning her head to peer slightly down at you.

"Sorry about him, he gets really ahead of himself sometimes," She apologized on his behalf, her eyes scanning over your face. Before giving you a chance to reply, she continued on. "Are you new to the neighborhood? I don't think I've ever seen you around?" She questions, your heart slightly speeding up at the undivided attention she was paying to your face.

"No yeah I am, I just moved here from California," you replied, tucking your hands into the pockets of your shorts to avoid any nervous flailing.

"No way, that's so cool, I've always wanted to visit. Did you live next to the beaches? One of my old friends went there for vacation and she loved it, like she wouldn't shut up about how nice it is over there. I think she went somewhere close to LA. Wait are you going to the pool too?" Her outgoing demeanor surprised you. You had only seen her for the first time a minute ago, and she was already carrying you into a conversation about your old life.

"Yeah I did and I am, I lived in San Diego so the beaches there were really nice compared to the northern part. I miss being able to go there all the time, so I guess for now the pool will just have to do," you joked back, and your heart fluttered at the smile that broke out on her face.

It had appeared that you made your first friend in Hopkins, Minnesota, and unbeknownst to you, she would quickly become your first ever best friend. Then your first girlfriend, your first love, and then slowly, your first and last heartbreak.

April 4th, 2017 (spring break, freshman year; 15 years old)

Paige's POV:

"Dude there's no way you think pancakes are supposed to be better than waffles, they're so boring," I protested on my bed next to Jenna, rolling onto my stomach towards her and propping up my elbows so I could look at her. Jenna had somehow become my best friend within the span of two months during summer, and although I was unsure of when and how her presence became so prominent in my life in such a quick span of time, I was nothing but grateful.

We had started high school together and even had a class together everyday, which was a saving grace for both of us. She came to every single one of my home games this season, even some of the closer away games. She made it to more of my games that any person in my family did, which surprised me, but she just was always there for me somehow.

I was never the best at making friends outside of basketball, the sport was my comfort zone and it was always so much easier to relate to my teammates who felt the same. Yet, me and Jenna just clicked, despite our many differences. Hanging out with her quenches a thirst within me I didn't know I had. A thirst to be seen, to be heard and known, a desire for someone to see me past all my future athletic potential and to just see me, and without fail, she did that for me. Every. Time.

One of the things we discovered early into our friendship, the first time she came over to my house to hang out, were our matching initials. PB and JS, which we affectionately coined to be our nicknames, Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich (pretend pazzi does not own this nickname). Jenna always says that our matching initials are a sign from above, a sign that we're meant to stick by the other's side. We even bought matching necklaces with our initials over winter break as a mutual Christmas present, mine was silver and hers was gold.

Our parents loved the nickname as well, joking that it's the reason they can never separate us, as you just can't have one without the other. Our families somehow became intertwined over the course of our friendship as well, trading in between carpool duties, spending long weekends and the occasional holiday together, and even coming to cheer me on at my basketball games or watching Jenna's dance recitals from the class she took instead of P.E. We all even went out to eat together to celebrate me and Jenna's small freshmen year milestones, like our birthdays.

Hers was a bit before mine, September 21st, 2001, which made her just slightly older than me. Apparently according to the Minnesota school laws or whatever, Jenna is supposed to be in the grade above, but California has different age cutoffs so she's one of the oldest people in our grade.

She confessed to me before school started that she was nervous about being the eldest out of everyone, but I reassured her by saying that it just meant she could drive the two of us around and do a bunch of other things before everyone else could. That really helped.

She even let me into her secret world of music, I knew she took classes but until she played and sang for me, I didn't realize just how good she was. She was fairly shy when it came to her talent, and almost never played in front of people she wasn't comfortable with, which is why it felt like an honor when she played a song on the piano or guitar for me, or sang for or with me, whether it was playing from the radio or something small she wrote.

But the thing that really brought us closer together was when Jenna's parents had to go out of town from time to time for their medical conferences, which left her home alone. When she was younger, she always used to go with them, as missing school wasn't that big of a deal. But now, she ended up refusing, insisting that she would be alright home alone.

This didn't fly with either of our families, and our parents eventually came to the conclusion that Jenna could just stay over at our house when needed. It wasn't like me and Jenna didn't have sleepovers all the time anyways, and both me and Drew loved having her over. She even met my Mom and my two other little siblings, Ryan and Lauren. The three of them immediately took to her the way I did, entranced by her presence. She loved hanging out with them too, since she was an only child.

There was something about Jenna that somehow attracted people to her. Maybe it was her welcoming presence, the way she made you feel like the most important person in the world with the way she looked at you, or perhaps it was something appealing about her appearance. The small makeup she put on and the way she spent extra time styling her hair was always unnecessary in my opinion, I always thought she was the prettiest person in our grade.

Sometimes I wondered if the two of us were truly best friends. I know friends hang out a bunch like we do, they don't mind changing in the same room or even in front of each other, and they definitely feel comfortable enough to cuddle together in bed or while watching a movie. Right?

But sometimes I swear there's a weird fluttering in my stomach when Jenna's bare legs drape over mine on the couch, or sometimes my heart skips a beat when we're getting ready for bed and she just pauses while changing her shirt, intent on continuing our conversation even while standing in just her bra.

But it's okay for friends to do that right? I mean, I've only ever had crushes or thought boys were attractive, so everything I'm feeling is probably just from the fact that I've never had a best friend like Jenna. Sure, I've had a bunch of friends and teammates I'm really close to, but me and Jenna spend all of our time together, and there's almost nothing we wouldn't do together. Sometimes, we just take turns showering while the other person stays in the bathroom just so we can keep talking.

Which led the two of us up to now, spending spring break sprawled out on my bed at 9pm, arguing about whether waffles or pancakes were better. We never had any real arguments, but with me and Jenna both being super competitive and never wanting to be wrong, we always had long discussions "fighting" about meaningless topics.

"Pancakes are so much smoother and like, enjoyable to eat compared to waffles, plus waffles end up crispy at the edges and they just end up tasting weird," She insisted, adjusting herself from her back to her side so she could argue with me face to face.

Her hair fell over her shoulder when she moved, leaving her shoulder exposed as her, no, my sweatshirt had slightly slouched down as it was big on her. Jenna wasn't exactly short, she was around 5'5, it's just that I happened to be even taller.

"Girls, come down for dinner please," my step-mom yelled from downstairs before I could even snap out of my distracted state to argue back.

"Coming Mrs. Bueckers," Jenna took the initiative to yell back slightly when I didn't respond in time, still in shock as to why I ended up staring at my best friend, distracted by her bare shoulder in my clothes. Me and Jenna always shared clothes, we even kept clothing and toiletry spares in each others rooms for spontaneous sleepovers. So why was her wearing my sweatshirt, in my bed, so different this time?

Whatever the reason was, I didn't have time to even think it over before Jenna got up from next to me, grabbing my hands with hers so she could yank me up as well, complaining that she was hungry. She kept our hands interlocked as we left my room, walking down the stairs hurridley. It was a miracle she didn't notice that for some reason, her soft, warm hands in mine had left a barely noticeable blush on my cheeks.

October 28th, 2017 (sophomore year; 16 years old)

Jenna's POV:

"Come on J hurry up, it's just a stupid party," Paige walked into your bathroom as you were almost finished curling your hair. "I'm on my last section P chill, I'll be done in a minute," you reassured her reflection. The two of you were invited to a Halloween party, but apparently you weren't supposed to dress up since technically it's not Halloween yet? (skinny jeans were the shit in 2017 but I can't bring myself to write that that's what they're wearing 😔)

You were both confused about it but the junior who invited you guys, Alexa, was one of your friends from math class. You were sat together on the first day and despite both of you struggling here and there, you often got the concepts a little bit quicker than her, so you always helped her when possible. And in return, she got the two of you an invite, well technically she invited you but everyone knows you and Paige are a package deal, to one of the biggest house parties of the school year.

It was also going to be the first party you were ever going to, and you both agreed to not go overboard on the drinks, since your aunt cristina, who was visiting, was going to pick and drop you in her car. Your mom's sister couldn't have chosen a better time to come visit, as both of your parents were working the night shift tonight and Paige's parents allowed her to sleepover at your house since your aunt was supposed to "supervise".

"See, I'm ready, let's go," you told Paige as you finished your hair with a thin layer of hairspray, moving past her into your room to grab your phone and keys. Your parents had gotten you a used Ford F-150 truck (so gay) so it would be easier for you to drive to school, with Paige of course, since they both started working longer hours now that you were old enough to take care of yourself and so that they could retire earlier.

You both made your way downstairs to your Aunt Cristina on the couch, watching tv while waiting for you to finish getting ready. "Ready to hit the road girls?" She got up to turn off the tv and grab her things from around the living room.

"Yup, thank you again for taking us, and for not telling our parents," Paige responded on your behalf as well. It was typical of adults to love Paige, she was always the most respectful and responsible kid in their eyes, even when thanking your aunt for driving you to a party so you could drink responsibly.

"No problem, I'd rather you girls be safe while having fun, no point in sneaking out if I'm here for you," She joked as you moved to get in her car, and within ten minutes, the three of you were pulled up outside the address Alexa had given you.

"Now please just remember to be safe, have fun, drink responsibly, don't leave your drinks unattended, don't try drinks from random people, keep your phone on you, don't leave each other's side," Your aunt was rambling off safety rules to the two of you in the backseat. You thought it was ironic she had to mention for you to stay together as if you ever left each other's side anyways.

"Yes Auntie C of course," You promised her as you moved to open the car door, "We'll be safe and I'll text you, love you, thanks, bye!" You closed the door the second Paige climbed out from the backseat, eager to walk into the house you could hear music blaring out of.

Before you knew it, the two of you were sitting pressed up together on a couch in a crowded living room, two red solo cups in hand with sprite and vodka. You and Paige were tipsy from the past two hours of drinking, a warm fuzziness settled into our brains, making the circle of people around us funnier than they probably were.

"No you know what we should play, seven minutes in heaven!" A drunk junior called out mid-conversation. You weren't really absorbing anything that was being said around you until that, and the loud cheers that erupted from the living room at the suggestion.

"Everybody gather around in a circle on the floor, whoever spins it has to go in the guest bedroom with the person it lands on for seven minutes," Alexa called out to everyone as she reached for an empty beer bottle behind her, before moving to sit on the floor.

"D'you wanna play?" Paige asked quietly next to you. You could tell she was hesitant on joining, and would only sit down if you went with her or dragged her with you.

"Why not, what are the chances we get picked anyways?" You decided, downing the last sip of your drink before setting it down on the floor, pulling Paige off the couch with you and into the circle.

"Before we start," Alexa loudly interrupted the conversation of the circle as she placed the beer bottle in the middle, causing everyone to quiet down and listen to her. "If you get picked to go in the room, you do not, and I repeat do not, have to do anything. The room stays unlocked the whole time, and you can't force the other person to do anything, even kiss," She insisted, making eye contact with every person in the circle before sitting back down in her spot.

"Agreed?" She asked everyone, and only allowed the game to start after hearing a response from everyone.

The game started and by the fourth round, everyone except one couple had clearly used the seven minutes to their advantage, coming out with tousled hair, bruised lips, and one girl even came out with a visibly red hickey on her neck. You and Paige had yet to be picked, and you felt a sense of relief that the two of you got to participate without having to actually play the game.

But, you suppose you must have spoken (or thought) too soon though, as you watched the next guy spin the bottle, and it slowed to a stop, the neck pointing right at you. Encouragements and cheers burst from the circle, urging the two of us to go in the room. You recognized who he was from around campus and his games, a junior volleyball player.

He got up from his seat, walking across the circle to you, and offering his hand to pull you up. You looked over hesitantly at Paige, who was barely meeting your eyes and had a small, tight-lipped smile on her face. Ignoring her reaction, you took his hand in yours and allowed him to hoist you up, dropping it the moment you stood in front of him.

You walked into the room first, sitting on the desk pushed up against the wall as he closed the door behind him and walked up to you, leaving a foot of space in between you two, presumably waiting for you to give him some sort of indicator.

"I'm sorry, I hope you don't really mind but I wasn't really planning on getting picked and I'm not comfortable, like, kissing you or anything so if you want to pick someone else I get it, I just don't want to," the nervous ramble poured out of you without constraint, the alcohol you had consumed making you more open-lipped than normal.

"Hey it's cool, you heard Alexa, you don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he shrugged, moving to take a seat on the edge of the queen bed in the room.

"Oh, thank you, I guess. I didn't think you would be so cool about your turn being wasted," You settled on top of the desk properly, turning to face the boy who was surprisingly chill.

"Nah it's whatever, I just broke up with my girlfriend like a month ago too, so I don't really care. I'm Jeremy by the way," he introduced, bringing one foot off the floor to rest over his other knee, leaning slightly back onto the bed.

"I'm Jenna, this is my first party so I wasn't really sure how all of this was gonna go."

"Jenna, I swear I've heard your name before," he paused, thinking for a moment. "Ohh, you’re the one who's friends with the basketball girl, Paige something right?" He suddenly remembered.

"Yeah I came with her tonight, she's my best friend," You smiled, talking about Paige was one of the easiest things in the world for you. You knew everything about her, inside and out, and majority of people knew you through her, since her athleticism made her quite popular around school. You never minded being known as Paige's best friend though, you knew you had your own identity and Paige always reminded anyone who referred to you as that, but there was a certain comfort that your friendship was strong enough for even a stranger to know that about you.

You and Jeremy continued small talking about school and a little bit about his ex-girlfriend before a knock rang out from the door, signaling that your time was up. He got up before you and held the door open as you walked out, instantly being bombarded with excited whoops and teasing "oooo's" as you walked to join the circle again.

"We didn't even do anything, guys" Jeremy emphasized to the circle, attempting to calm the rambunctious circle.

"Then why is she red as a tomato? The girl couldn't be blushing harder if she tried," a random girl in the circle yelled out, revving up the groups fever.

"She's like sixteen, chill out. Besides it's probably cause all of you," Jeremy backed you up as you walked over to your previous seat, but before you sat back down, you realized Paige was no longer there.

"Where did Paige go?" You asked the group before the next person could spin the bottle, causing eyes to shoot up at you.

"She went to the kitchen for a refill, so probably still there," Alexa informed you. You nodded at her before walking away, searching for your missing best friend.

You didn't have to look for long before you found her taking a shot in the kitchen with two other random girls, her face souring heavily at the alcoholic taste. You knew Paige hated the taste of alcohol and was never one to submit to peer-pressure, so why was she taking a shot of tequila with strangers?

"Hey P," you walked up to her, resting your hand on her bicep to draw her attention to you.

"Hey J," she responded dryly, but her voice was slightly slurred, moving her arm out of your hold to swap out the shot class for a full solo cup you could only pray she filled herself.

"You wanna leave soon? It's already like one ish?"

"Sure, whatever," she took a long sip from her cup, downing half of whatever she had poured in it.

"Okay, we can wait outside, let the cold air sober us up a bit before Auntie C gets here," you gently pried the red plastic cup out of her hand before grabbing her hand and leading her out to the living room, saying bye to the small amount of friends you knew before walking outside.

The two of you settled onto the edge of the curb at the ending curve of the sidewalk, just far enough from the house to get a little quiet. The stuffed house had been slightly humid, and the light breeze was a refreshing contrast to your previous environment.

"How was it?" Paige's question broke the quiet but tension-filled bubble the two of you had formed.

"How was what?"

"Your seven minutes in heaven," Paige drunkenly mocked.

"P, we didn't do anything. Like, anything anything," you were confused at her attitude, did she know something about Jeremy, or dislike him for some reason?

"You, you didn't kiss him?" The shock was apparent on her face. "The second you left everyone was talking about Jeremy and Jenna kissing in a tree, it was really annoying," she grumbled, you concluded that the alcohol she had consumed must be what was making her weird.

"No way P, I don't want my first kiss to be like that. Forced and with someone I don't even know, let alone like," you scooched closer into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

You awaited a response from her but never get one, she simply leaned her head on top of yours as you waited in a comfortable silence for your ride, which came quickly.

*small time skip*

You had just finished your short skincare routine and were finally ready to climb into bed with Paige, the long night had taken its toll on you, and you were ready to collapse into the warm embrace of your best friend. But tonight, when you laid down next to her in bed, she didn't immediately cuddle into you like she always did, remaining flat on her back, staring at your ceiling.

Instead, she turned over to face you, only a few inches of space were left in between your faces as she whispered to you, "Why didn't you kiss him?"

Her question shocked you. The two of you rarely visited the topic of romantic relationships or feelings of the sort, and both of you agreed that you weren't interested in the thought as of right now.

"I," you paused. You had never officially come out to Paige, afraid that once she knew you liked girls, your every move would be scrutinized and judged, and your relationship would never be the same. But surely, you insisted internally, Paige wasn't going to be like that.

"I wasn't really interested in the thought of kissing a guy," You quietly admitted, rolling back over onto your back to avoid her gaze.

"Oh." That was it? You basically just came out to her and that's all you got?

"Would you ever kiss a guy? Or just," she paused, the hesitation clear in her voice. "Just girls?"

"No I would kiss both, I just don't think I want my first kiss to be with one? Or at least not Jeremy," you confessed quietly, turning your head back over to look at her. She was staring intently at you, scanning your face.

"Who would you want your first kiss to be with?"

"I don't know, but at least with someone I'm close to. Have you ever," you waited a moment before finishing your sentence, taking a deep breath in between your words.

"Have you ever thought about kissing girls? Or a girl?" You whispered, watching her slightly panicked reaction.

"A few times, but I've never kissed anyone either, so I don't know," Her eyes darted in between your eyes and down to your lips. "What if you kiss me? Just so we can both have our first kisses with someone we know," in retrospect, you should've thought harder before agreeing to kiss your previously assumed straight best friend. But her offer set off a flurry of butterflies in your stomach, your cheeks flushed deeply as you nodded.

You shuffled closer to her in bed, such that there was barely an inch of space separating your lips. "Are you sure about this?" You whispered, staring down at her lips while reaching your hand to cup her jaw, the other arm bent at the elbow to support your body above hers.

"Yeah," she nodded, looking down at your own lips, slightly moving in until your lips grazed against hers. You pressed your lips a little firmer into hers, slanting your head further as your lips barely opened. She moved in tandem with you, her hand resting at the nape of your neck as she kissed you back.

Your kiss only lasted a few moments, pulling back the second you registered the taste of alcohol still prominent in her mouth. You realized it was possible that the only reason your best friend asked you to kiss her was because she was drunk, sixteen, and very single.

"This isn't gonna be weird tomorrow is it?" Your brows furrowed as a worried expression settled into your face.

"No, why would it? Friends can kiss, besides we just won't make it weird," she promised. And despite knowing it was a stupid idea, an even stupider statement, you agreed. Collapsing down back onto your pillow, you opened your arms for Paige to snuggle into you, and the two of you drifted into a peaceful slumber.

February 3rd, 2018 (sophomore year; 16 years old)

Paige's POV:

It was a relief to finally find a quiet moment to myself, even if it was at three in the morning in the middle of my living room couch. Everyone in my house was asleep, including Jenna, who was still snoring when I extracted myself from her arms. The ac vent aimed straight at me caused me to pull the blanket tighter into my body, despite the pajama pants I was wearing and one of Jenna's hoodies.

We were almost done with basketball season and were currently playing our conference games, and were thankfully on a streak. And yet, the pressure inside of me continued to build, the need to be perfect and to support and carry my team throughout our games constantly weighing down on me.

Of course my teammates, coaches, family, and my other friends were supportive of me and encouraged me to try my best, and that no one expected perfection of me. But for whatever reason, I couldn't get rid of the anxiety that was constantly taking over my brain, sending me into spiraling panics over my future and my performance.

But throughout the past few months, the only person I felt like I could truly breathe around was Jenna, my lifeline. Despite not being involved in basketball in any way, she understood me and what I was feeling. She confided in me about her having chronic anxiety (GAD) the first time I slept over at her house, when I saw her medication on the dinner table.

She taught me breathing exercises and calming methods, held and comforted me when I cried in the middle of the night from the constant mental pressure, and even told me that I should slide around my initial charm on our matching necklace since it was a better nervous habit than biting my nails.

Even besides that, her presence in itself was a comfort to me, even if I wasn't yet sure of how deep my feelings for her went. She was the first friend I ever said "I love you" too, and I think the same goes for her. And it is true, I do love her with my whole heart, I would do anything she asked or needed of me, I just wasn't sure to what extent this love went.

Along with that, I was still unsure of where I stood with my sexuality. Before Jenna, I never thought about girls in a more than platonic way, but from the first few months of getting to know her, to our first kiss together (still the only time I've ever kissed anybody), to even now, where she was cuddled into my chest a mere thirty minutes ago, I felt electrifying sparks course through my body at her touch, she could make me blush with the most innocent of looks, and she made me giddy in a way even basketball didn't.

But despite all that, it's normal for best friends to love each other? It doesn't automatically mean being gay or being in love, you could just deeply care for the other person. Besides, Jenna never brought up the kiss again, which meant it had probably only happened due to both of our inebriated states.

It was as if my deep train of thought about her cause her to miraculously appear, I knew it was her just from the footsteps upstairs, the way she gently walked down the stairs to avoid a creaky step, and the way her sock-covered feet padded over to the couch, grabbing a throw blanket for herself before taking a seat in the corner end of the couch next as me.

We sat in silence as she reached over to the side of the couch, pushing the button to recline the seat back, unfolding the blanket and covering her bottom half before patting her lap for me once she was fully adjusted.

I all but threw my head into her lap, facing her body, as I extended my legs out onto the rest of the sofa as I moved my arms up hug the tops of her legs as her hands came up to gently scratch at my scalp, playing with my hair in a way that immediately relaxed me into her.

"M'sorry if I woke you," I whispered into her stomach, even though I wasn't actually sorry. I was selfishly happy that she came downstairs for me and would give up anything for us to have more of these quiet moments together, her attention solely focused on me.

"S'okay P, you technically didn't. I felt the bed was empty and then my spidey senses told me you were thinking too hard again, so I came to convince you to come back to bed, but then this beautiful couch looked way too comfortable, so we can just spend the night here," she sleepily mumbled, looking down at me sprawled out onto her lap.

"Tell me who or what is stealing our sleep so I can beat their asses," she joked quietly, her hands coming to rub at my temples.

I sighed, it felt as if her hands were physically melting the pounding in my skull, my headache nearly subsiding just from her touch.

"Just stressed out about everything again y'know? Basketball, school, life, kind of everything," I admitted quietly. The one thing I hated doing, was talking about things that bothered or upset me, it always made me feel weak.

"Hey, we are all so proud of you P. We all know how hard you're working and even though you feel like it, I promise that it's not all up to you. All the people around you love you, and we're all here to help if you need it. You just say the word and we'll all line up for whatever you need," she reassured me, only slightly teasing as her fingers moved to pinch my cheek lightly before moving back to my hair.

"Yeah I know, God really blessed me with you guys. Especially you, I don't know what I would do without you," I murmured up at her, smiling at her sleepy but happy expression.

"Yeah yeah, just say you love me Paige," she poked fun at me quietly, letting her head drop onto the cushion behind her without breaking eye contact with me.

"Hey I do love you J, I say it all the time," I retorted, using my fingers to draw small shapes on her pajama-covered thighs.

"Well I love you too P," her hands smoothed over my hair as she bent down to press a kiss on my hairline before reaching back up to settle into the couch.

"Just trust me, you just need to do all you can so God can do all you can't," she muttered, closing her eyes as she leaned her head slightly onto her shoulder to get comfortable, all without stilling her hands' movements in my scalp.

"Hey that's a sick quote, I'm stealing that from you for my interviews," I teased groggily, the lack of sleep slowly overcoming my voice.

"You can have anything you want from me P, you already know that," she didn't open her eyes when she said that, but I could hear the sincerity in her tone even without looking at her.

The two of us slept the whole night in the exact same position, unaware of everyone waking up to us cuddling on the couch together. My eyes only fluttered open at the sound of quieted laughter and the shuttering of two cameras pointed at the two of us.

As I rolled my head out of Jenna's lap to look at whoever had caused the disturbance, I squinted my eyes to see my dad with his polaroid and Drew using someone's phone. I groaned, burying myself back into Jenna, I probably would never hear the end of this, but it was alright, because it was with Jenna.

July 4th, 2018 (summer before junior year; 16 years old)

Jenna's POV:

"Jenna you need to slow down, I don't want you to throw up or anything," Paige insisted as she walked up to you, pulling you away from the living room of the house party you were in, preventing you from throwing back another shot. The party was hosted by a senior at the end of your neighborhood, just walking distance from both of your houses.

"What's your problem P, I'm just having fun," you argued back, doing your best to enunciate your words to prevent having a slur, knowing she would cut you off immediately if you got too drunk. You were pretty good at holding your liquor, somehow being a natural heavy-weight when it came to drinking.

"Come on Paigey, just lighten up a little, it's the fourth of fucking July, have fun with me. Ooo, we should do a shot together," you elbowed her side jokingly, looking up at her hesitant expression with your best puppy dog eyes.

Her concerned expression softened, you knew it was wrong of you to take advantage of the fact she could never say no to you, but she was the reason you were adamant on drinking to the point of memory loss tonight.

As shameful as it felt to admit it, your best friend had been haunting your every waking moment for the last few months, and you were desperate for an escape from your own thoughts. You always knew you felt something deeper than friendship for Paige, the way your heartbeat would speed up at every touch of her hands, the way you found yourself unable to tear your eyes off of her, on and off the court, and especially, the way you could not escape the mental replay of your kiss.

The press of her soft lips against yours, the slight vanilla taste from her chapstick you so often borrowed, the way the skin of her jaw felt so soft in the palm of your hand, and the way your body melted into hers, pressed against her warm figure.

So, like any reasonable sixteen year old, you were determined to get absolutely shit-faced tonight, to the point where you wouldn't even be able to remember your own name. And the only way that would happen, is if Paige stopped monitoring your every sip of alcohol.

"Okay fine, one shot, but that's it. We can't both be super drunk," She relented, allowing you to pull her back into the kitchen to pour yourself shots.

And just to your luck, Paige had run into a few friends and teammates, leaving you alone with a few class friends for what she intended to be only a few minutes, but ended up being a little over half an hour. Those thirty ish minutes were all you needed to take two more shots, chug one whiteclaw and two beers, and finish a cup of a vodka sprite.

By the time Paige came back, still mostly sober, she was pissed to see that you were plastered, hanging off the shoulder of some guy she could recognize, but was too mad to focus on. She couldn't figure out why you were drinking so much tonight, despite her warning, you were practically making yourself sick for the next day, and you wouldn't even tell her the reason you had been off lately, brushing it off with some bullshitted excuse of school or your parents.

"Yo, who's the blonde chick staring at you?" The random guy you were talking to asked, nodding his head towards Paige, who was leaned against one of the kitchen counters and boring holes into the guy's head.

"Paigeyyy," you called out, lifting your now very heavy head from his shoulder as he pointed out your best friend who was now within eyeline, a deeply annoyed expression settled into her otherwise soft features.

"Hey me and Jenna are gonna head out, it's already past two and she's clearly done drinking for tonight," Paige announced to the group of friends you were hanging out with as she moved towards you, gently guiding your arm over shoulder and pulling you away from the other guy.

"Hey she's fine," the guy you were previously all over slightly slurred, "What are you her babysitter or somethin?"

"Dude worry about yourself, you look like you’re two seconds away from passing out," she snapped at him before walking away, supporting around half of your weight as the two of you exited the house.

"You're always so good to me Paigey, always my taking care of me," you drunkenly mumbled into her shoulder, pressing yourself further into her in an attempt to warm yourself up with her body heat. The summer night in Minnesota wasn't too bad, but your lack of a jacket wasn't helping.

"We'll reach your house in like five minutes, you just gotta walk till there okay?" She spoke firmly, avoiding glancing down at your slouched figure attached to her.

"You're always my best girl," you continued your drunken ramble.

"Always there fo' me, you cuddle me and you kiss me, and you even walk me home," for some selfish reason, she didn't have it in her to stop you. She knew it wasn't fair to you, letting you pour your innermost thoughts or feelings out to her when you weren't in the right state of mind, but she couldn't bear to stop the compliments gushing from your mouth.

"No need to date anyone in the whole wide world when I have you. You're so much nicer than the other girls. Or boys. And prettier. You're the prettiest out of all of them. So pretty, even when you're all sweaty and gross in basketball. You even kiss nice, don't wanna kiss anyone else after you kissed me," she finally cut your mindless babble into her neck off.

"We're here, I need your keys," her voice was curt, almost like she didn't want to be with you anymore. You lifted your head out of the crook of her neck to fumble around the pockets of your jeans, finally pulling out your lanyard and holding it out for her.

She took it from your grasp quickly, unlocking your house and helping you in to take both of your shoes off and lead you up into your bathroom, sitting you on the closed toilet as she went into your room to grab a change of clothes for you.

You leaned your head back in the two minutes she had left, closing your eyes and barely drifting off when she re-entered the bathroom, waking you up so she could help you change and take off your makeup.

It wasn't until you were sitting against the headboard of your bed, watching her move around your room to collect stray clothes from the floor into your hamper that the two of you finally spoke again.

"Paigey are you mad at me?" the nickname slipped from your mouth once again as you questioned her quietly. Paigey was something that usually only Drew called her regularly, but for some reason it was the only thing you referred to her as when drunk.

"Yes Jenna, is that what you wanna hear? That I'm fucking pissed off at you? You've been acting weird for the last like, two months. And no matter how much I try, you won't open up to me, it's frustrating me," she exclaimed pausing her movements around the room to rant to you despite her better judgement telling her she shouldn't talk to you about this while you're drunk.

"And then tonight you're all over some random douche, pretending like everything is fine when you know it's not. Then you start spewing that bullshit about me I know you don't mean because you're drunk."

You stayed silent for a few moments before you responded, "'M sorry, I shouldn't have shut you out for something you didn't do. But saying I don't mean what I said? That's not fair and you know it."

"Stop it Jenna, I think that you should just go to sleep. You're so drunk, you're not even coherent anymore, and I don't want to have this conversation with you like this,"

"What if I just wanna tell you how pretty you are, or how nice you kiss? Or that I love-"

"Stop Jenna, please just stop," Paige shut her eyes, her voice sounding nearly painful.

"Please J, you're drunk and you don't mean it. You can't say things like that and not mean it to me, I can't take it," she begged.

"If I say it to you tomorrow will you believe me?" you whispered, hesitating before continuing.

"If I tell you I love you tomorrow, will you say it back? Will you mean it the same way I mean it?" you pleaded with her, desperate to hear that she felt the same way you did, that you weren’t the only idiot who had fallen in love with her best friend.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch," she muttered, walking out of your room and closing the door behind her. You could feel your heart sinking, the tears burning in your eyes, threatening to pour out at the smallest movement.

You stare at the door for a few minutes, praying that Paige would change her mind, burst back in and say that she did love you too, that you weren’t alone. She would pull you into her, kiss you stupid, and cuddle you for the rest of the night.

But she didn't and you eventually cried yourself into an uncomfortable sleep, tossing and turning the whole night.

***the next morning***

Your eyes fluttered open from the sunlight beaming through my half-closed curtains. Your head was pounding, threatening to split in half as you turned over, burying yourself into the pillow underneath your comforter.

You tried my best to recall what had happened last night that left you nearly dead the next morning. As you fought to focus despite a dry throat, aching body, and throbbing head, a specific moment came pouring back.

There was no fucking way.

You told Paige, presumably straight Paige, your best friend ever Paige, that you loved her. You had gone on a whole fucking tangent about how pretty she was, how nobody could compare, and the fact that you loved her.

You shot up in bed, fighting every painful twinge in your body to reach for your phone, when you saw a water bottle with two advils on your nightstand. You quickly chugged them as you reached for your phone, unplugging it from the charger. That was something you had most definitely not remembered to do last night.

At 7:21 in the morning there was only one text from Paige.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peanut Butter 💜: Hey, my step-mom called me over to help her clean some stuff up. You went pretty hard last night so I left some water and painkillers for you, make sure you take them and eat breakfast. I'll see you later yeah?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck, did she not remember what had happened last night? No, that wasn't possible, she barely drank. Did she want to pretend like it never happened? Was it because she didn't feel the same about you? As it was, she didn't allow you to finish saying you were in love with her, and it wasn't like she said it back. Was she trying to avoid ruining your friendship?

She had texted you almost three hours ago, which meant your parents had to already be back from their night shift and everyone in her house was probably awake.

You threw your phone out onto your bed, slamming yourself back down and under your covers.

What were your options here? Either pretend like it never happened and continue hopelessly pining after your best friend, confess your feelings only to get rejected and ruin your friendship, or the least likely of them all.

You told her and she felt the same.

You thought long and hard about what to do. As much as it would hurt to only be something, continuing to hide your feelings, it would be worse to be nothing to her, right?

But if it had slipped out of you once, wasn't there the chance it could happen again? What if it was even worse the next time, what if it was in public and everyone ended up finding out.

It would be better to own up to the truth now, right? Right? Right, you decided.

You finally mustered up the courage to leave the safe haven of your bed. dragging yourself to the bathroom to freshen up (ESPECIALLY BRUSHING YOUR TEETH) before quietly exiting your house, walking across the street to hers.

You knocked on the door firmly, knowing the Bueckers weren't the biggest fans of using the doorbell.

"Jenna," Drew exclaimed as he opened the door for you, allowing you into the house you had quickly claimed as your second home.

"What's up little man," you greeted him while taking off your slippers, "Where's your sister?" You asked him.

You had made it a habit to call Paige, Drew's sister, when talking to him. You felt bad that people always mentioned him as Paige's little brother instead of taking two seconds to learn his name, so you always made the effort to make sure he felt seen.

"She's in her room, she said she was feeling weird when she came home and she won't leave her room," he told you.

Shit, that meant she did remember what had happened. Well, it was now or never.

"Thanks Drew, Hi Mrs. Bueckers," you waved to her in the kitchen as you made your way to the stairs, bounding up two at a time to reach Paige's room faster. Her door was shut when you reached, and you knocked lightly on the wood.

"Hey P, it's me," you called out through the closed door, waiting to hear her mumbled, come in, before turning the knob. She was laying down in her bed, putting her phone down as she looked up at you.

"How you feeling Jelly? You drank a lot last night," she asked quietly, her hands fiddling with the top of her comforter, something you knew she did when she was nervous.

"Not that bad," you moved to sit down next to her lying figure, gazing down at her exhausted face. You could tell she hadn't slept well last night either, surely from your intoxicated confession.

"Listen, I know I was really stupid last night, but what we were talking about in my room," Paige cut you off before you could finish.

"Hey it's fine, I get it. You were really drunk and you get kind of emotional at that stage, so it's not even a big deal-"

"Oh my god Paige will you let me even speak? I meant what I said last night," you interrupted. There was no way you would allow her to brush this under the rug the same way you let her pretend your kiss had never happened.

"You're not just my best friend, you're my everything. You mean the literal world to me, there's barely anything I wouldn't do for you, because I'm in love with you. I have been for a reallly really long time now, that's why I was trying to keep my distance. It hurt, being around you and pretending like my heart wasn't going to explode at nearly everything you said or did with me," you professed, watching her expression morph from faked nonchalance to shock, and slowly, a small smile broke out.

"You, you love me love me? Like, you're in love with me? In a more than friends way?" She sat up to face you fully as she questioned you, tucking her bottom lip into her mouth as she waited for your response.

"No shit Sherlock Holmes, it's almost like I said it like four times now, and you're still not-" she didn't let you finish your exasperated sentence before pulling you into her, pressing your lips firmly into hers.

You closed your eyes as you sighed into the minty kiss, melting into her hold as she moved her lips against you slowly, the rest of the world faded away as the two of you found peace in each other's embrace.

"You know you still haven't told me you love me back," you mumbled against her lips as the two of you separated a minute later, a wide grin stretched out across your face.

"No shit I love you too Sherlock Holmes," she teased, using the nickname you had come up with against you. "Have been for a while now, glad you finally noticed," she pulled you into her as she flopped down to lie down on her side, facing you.

The two of you continued to exchange light pecks and languid kisses, reveling in the comfort of your intertwined bodies in Paige's warm bed.

"Does this mean we're dating?" Paige pulled back to watch your face as she asked.

"Yeah P, this means you're my girlfriend now. Just mine, kay?" You beamed, caressing her cheek with your thumb.

"Got it, as long as you're only mine J."

December 23rd, 2019 (Winter Break, senior year; 18 years old)

Paige’s POV:

"I have no idea what that's supposed to mean," Jenna giggled at my response, her laughter rumbling her body against mine. She was currently sprawled over my body in tiny pajama shorts and a cropped tank top, her head laying on my chest as she wrote random words onto my left arm for me to guess, my other hand wrapped tightly over her waist, eliminating any space that may have been between us.

Jenna had finally finished all of her college applications and we both took our winter finals two weeks prior, leaving us to peacefully enjoy our Christmas and New Years together.

We had already been dating for over a year now, and if I wasn't completely and irrevocably head over heels for Jenna Smyths before, I most definitely was now. The two of us were already inseparable even before we started dating, but since last July it was almost like we couldn't spend go more than twenty-four hours apart, which our families had slowly started picking up on.

We never really told my family that we were dating, just slowly started leaving hints here and there. Spending more time together, being more cuddly or touchy with the other person (all pg of course), and we went to our most recent school dances together, as friends, but still.

Even at school or in public, we basically acted the same as we always did, and despite the rumors running rampant in the many gossip circles, no one had any evidence to prove any allegation, and when prompted, we always gave the same answer, "She's my best friend".

But with Jenna's family on the other hand, only her mom knew after a really awkward walking-in incident. It wasn't too bad, it just so happened that one night when I was sleeping over at her house in March, we were innocently making out in her bed, as any seventeen year-old couple did, when her mom walked in to tell us that we were going out for breakfast the next morning. We quickly separated, but not fast enough to evade her mom.

Needless to say, the two of us had to endure a very, very embarrassing conversation of being safe and responsible together, and the only reason she didn't rat us out to Jenna's dad or my family to stop our sleepovers was the fact that neither of us could get pregnant from anything we may or may not do.

Unfortunately, our "separation anxiety problem" proved to be quite the difficult challenge when I had to leave for the team USA basketball games and Jenna went on college tours with her parents. The two of us managed to get by through near constant texting and nightly FaceTime calls, which I've accepted may be the norm for our relationship in the future.

I already committed to UConn back in April, but Jenna still hasn't decided where she wants to go. She's applied sort of everywhere, California, Washington, Michigan, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, New York, and of course, Connecticut. She hasn't told me what her top pick is out of all of her applications, but I had a feeling she was refraining from telling me because it was going to be one of the furthest ones from UConn.

I didn't mind having to do long distance, as hard as it would be, I would take that struggle over losing Jenna any day. But there was a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that Jenna didn't agree, that she would rather break up than have to deal with long distance.

But that couldn't happen to us, we were Paige and Jenna, Peanut Butter and Jelly, and there was no way that we would break up because of college. I mean sure, we had real arguments every once in awhile, one of us got a little jealous, or we were tired or annoyed and accidentally took it out on the other person. But those never lasted long, both of us being too weak to remain mad at the other for more than a day.

One of the biggest arguments we had was over one of my newest and closest friends, Azzi Fudd. We met through team USA and got really close really quickly, which Jenna wasn't the fondest of. We never talked about her until I had gotten back, and Jenna finally burst when I paused our conversation to text Azzi back.

It wasn't until after I assured Jenna that Azzi was straight and was definitely not interested in me in anyway since she had a crush on a boy at her school, that she was my girlfriend and the only one I had eyes for, and she met Azzi in person for the first time that she understood just how platonic our friendship was and also formed a connection with the younger girl.

To be fair, Jenna wasn't the only one with slight jealousy issues, or as she called it, me being "territorial", which I wholeheartedly disagree with. I just think that some of the guys and girls she's friends with don't need to be all over her all the time, but Jenna was just a naturally affectionate person who made everyone around her feel loved and seen, and I understood that doesn't necessarily mean in a romantic way.

Which is all to say that despite any minor bumps in the road, our relationship was as steady and strong as ever, and there was no where else in the world I would rather be right now than in bed with Jenna's body covering mine.

"I wrote bball doofus, okay there's no way you don't get this next one," she remarked teasingly. I pinched her side as she stifled her laughter, adjusting herself over me before going to write her next phrase on my bicep. I was wearing a similar tank top to hers, but with warmer, full length pajama pants. Jenna always refused to admit when she was feeling cold, which was always, instead choosing to intertwine her legs with mine, absorbing any body heat radiating off of me.

I closed my eyes and focused on her fingers fluttering over my arm, concentrating on the words she attempted to spell out. It was a phrase so familiar to us at this point I had figured it out before she had even gotten to the last word.

I smiled down at her, watching as she moved her gaze from her writing to my face, a wide grin and blush present on her features.

"I love you," I whispered to her, admiring at the way her cheeks flushed deeper at my statement. She never used to be the type of person who got easily flustered or shied away from a challenge, but when it came down to the sweetest moments like this, her body was almost constantly some shade of red or pink.

Jenna wasn't the most openly affectionate person, she often got shy when it came to dates, romantic gesture, even verbally expressing her feelings. But by driving me around all the time when I didn't have my car or even my license, helping me with homework last minute, doing my hair for games, cooking and baking food for me, and remembering the smallest details about me, she showed me how much she loved me, and that was always enough for me.

"I love you too," she whispered back, resting her chin on my chest as she continued to gaze up at me, deep adoration present in her eyes, and without a doubt, I was sure I was looking back at her with either the same or deeper level of infatuation. I moved my hand around her waist to draw small circles on the sliver of skin that was exposed, relishing in the sweet intimacy.

Moments like this were my favorite, relishing in the presence of one of my favorite people on earth, quiet and at peace with no distractions, just the two of us enjoying our time spent together.

"Wait I wanna switch, it's your turn to be the big spoon," I patted her waist to guide her to flip over onto her back, so I could lay my head down on her this time.

One of the things I loved to do with Jenna was listen to her heartbeat, it was the beat of a song I would never know the name of, but it was my favorite. To me, it proved the tangibility of the connection between our souls, the love we held for each other. It was listening to the sound that kept my life force breathing, that allowed me to keep my rock and anchor, the person I loved the most and showed me that everyday was worth living, no matter what, because it was with her.

May 22nd, 2020 (End of Senior Year; 18 years old)

My heart sank at the silence I received from Paige, she was sitting across from me on my bed and kept switching from quietly scanning over the letter on my computer screen to changing the tabs, looking over all the schools I had received acceptance letters from.

Despite getting into UConn with Paige, and even universities close to her on the East Coast, like NYU and UPenn, I was choosing to commit to UCLA, my dream school since I was seven. It was safe to say Paige wasn't thrilled with my decision, evident through her lack of a response.

"P? Please say something, literally anything," I begged, her silence was unsettling, and her face was stoic and near emotionless, which meant I had no idea of the thoughts running through her head right now.

"I don't even know what you want me to say. Or expect me to do," she paused before continuing, "I am so proud of you and everything you've done and accomplished to make it this far, but I feel so," she stopped, collecting her thoughts and emotions before continuing.

"I almost want to hate you for choosing to go so far, for choosing to leave me and be so far away from me when we both know this kind of long-distance won't work," her voice cracked, at the end of her sentence. Rather than continuing to talk, she raised the collar of her t-shirt to her eyes, tucking her head under to hide the tears that had begun to spill out.

You moved your laptop away so could close some of the distance between the two of you. You gently cupped her face, coaxing her to let go of her t-shirt so you could look directly in her eyes.

"I know, and I'm so sorry, but I can't not go Paige. I need to do this for myself and I know that if I don't go, or at least give it my best shot, I'll regret it for the rest of my life," her heartbroken expression was painful for you to watch, only making it harder for you to refrain from crying.

"If I asked you to even consider, not even coming to UConn with me but like, NYU or something, literally anywhere closer to make the long distance work, would you?" Her eyes bore into yours, searching for the answer she dreaded hearing.

You waited a moment to answer, not to think over your answer or consider her question, you already knew the answer. But to compose yourself, holding in the pain you felt from hurting the only person who would ever love you like this.

You dropped your hands from her face before responding, "No."

You could see, practically hear, her heart shatter at your response, not expecting you to be so cold and short with her. She was openly crying now, her voice now shaky and slightly higher-pitched.

"So all the times that you told me that you couldn't imagine living without me, that you needed me, that you felt like you could only breathe around me, that was all bullshit? Or you just, what, changed your mind?"

"I never lied to you about that Paige, all of those things are still true. But this is my dream, I obviously didn't go into this whole process expecting to get into one of the top universities in the nation. If I asked you the same thing right now, to give up UConn and accept one of the recruitment offers you got closer to UCLA, would you?"

"Don't turn this around on me and make me the selfish one right now. That's not fair and you know it Jenna. Getting recruited is different, it determines whether or not I can go pro in the future, it makes all the difference in the world when it comes time for me to get drafted in the W."

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything Paige, I'm just trying to make you understand that I can't give up UCLA. And selfish, really? Trying to make a life for myself, going to the college of my dreams, that's selfish?"

"That's not what I meant," she sighed, rubbing her hands over her tear-streaked face.

"You have to understand what it feels like to be in my position right now. You're my everything, my best friend, my girlfriend, the one person who knows me better than anyone, even my parents. And you just dropped a bomb of information on me. From day one, I have always been clear about where I wanted to go to college, and I signed as soon as I got the offer. But you never said anything about that, and on top of it, you were always the one who talked about our future together, and now it's like you're taking all of your previous statement back."

"I'm sorry Paige. I'm so sorry that I'm doing this to you, that I'm hurting you. That was never my intention with this. You're my everything too, but that's not right and that's not how it should be. One person can't be my whole life, and I can't be yours either. No matter how much I love you and need you, I also need this for myself."

Paige's eyes were bloodshot at this point, and you hadn't noticed when, but somewhere during your conversation you had given up on trying to hold back your own tears.

"I've already submitted a housing application, the apartments open from June but usually students don't go until July or August, so I'll still be here for a little while," you sniffled.

As much as your decision hurt Paige, you knew it was the right thing for both of you. Paige had to focus on basketball and you needed to focus on school and your own future, and maybe the time apart would allow you to grow together rather than apart.

After all, isn't distance supposed to make the heart grow fonder?

a/n: thank you for reading all the way through, any and all support is greatly appreciated!!

[rainystressed247]

Hello, me again (( villain needs therapy <----is that its name?? Idk sorryi f I got it wrong ))

I was just wondering how c!Dream is doing with this new roommate/therapist of his, I mean what does he think about techno, I know that he Associates him with is former "sessions" but did talking to him changed his mind in any way, did he start recognizing techno as not just another Quackity, did he become better in anyway, and most importantly does techno want to break him out

Anyway I really love this au, I really hope you get the chance to write more about it,the idea of Dream being completely unhinged and being set free to destroy everything and anything that ever steps in his way makes my head fuzzy

Anyway love you

Thank you!!! I am not very good at writing so I hope you excuse the clumsy attempt as I navigate through the AU! And yes, this AU is named “the villain needs a therapist” for the time being!

So, Techno. He is a complicated case for Dream. It confused Dream because he is not like Q. Techno isn’t flinching away like he is some sort of disease, and he is able to subdue him with ease! It excited Dream because this must be the new playmate Sam gave him and this one won’t ‘break’ as easily!

The memory Dream holds for Techno is blurred, but that may be the reason why Dream is more ‘amiable’ when Techno is around, which is how Techno is able to convince Sam to let them carry out their sessions in the courtyard instead, because “look at him, man, the lack of sunshine is a factor playing into his broken mind, bruhhhh, prison so large yet not even a courtyard for the prisoner, L.”

Sam at this point is just tired and f- everything, yeah why not just let Techno try. Anything if they could stop bothering him for a while.

[vodika-vibes]

😌 idk if my first request for a fox x reader went through but i’ve been reading a lot (ofc whats new) and uh uh I found I really love fics with CX-2 (Clone Assassin) aND SO, to my favorite SW writer I ask;

How bout a soulmate au with CX-2 (?) Could be a bit of angst with a happy ending, and everyone is just wondering how reader could be with him after all the things he’s done (uh im getting sunshine!reader x grumpy character vibes)

dont have to write this! i just would love to see some more cx-2 fics after reading one just now lol also im down the rabbit hole again that its cx-2!tech whose been reconditioned, do what you feel is best but i just love that theory bc I’m a firm believer too that tech never died 😌

Protective

Summary: For a long time, your parents feared that you didn’t have a soulmate. Until, one morning, you woke up and found a wild dog curled up next to you on your bed. You named him Noir, and the people around you quickly learned that he was fiercely protective of you. However, after Noir kills an Imperial Officer after he threatens, you have no choice but to go on the run.

Pairing: CX-2 x F!Reader, background Tech x Phee

Word Count: 2799

Warnings: None

Prompt: Soulmate AU - soulmates have spirit animals representing each other.

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So I wasn't able to get the angst to work, largely because I wasn't in an angsty mood. Also, as much as I love the CX-2 being Tech idea, I had a different idea for this fic, so I hope you like it!

“What d’ya have there, Noir?” You ask as you return to the small hut that has been your home for the last three months and crouch in front of your oldest companion.

Noir’s tail wags rapidly as he nudges something in your direction.

You gently rub his head, then carefully pick up his offering, “Oh, it’s a fish. Did you find dinner for us, pal?”

Noir releases a happy yip, and you laugh softly, “Good job, Noir.” You stand and carry the fish over to the rough kitchen to divvy up the portions. Most of the fish will go to Noir, while you’ll prepare your portion with some seasoning that the Wookies traded with you.

Three months ago, Noir slaughtered an Imperial Officer who threatened your life. You’ve always known that he is fiercely protective of you, and you knew that there was a chance that he would kill again if you were threatened.

The first time it happened you had still been a child. Your uncle tried to kidnap you, and Noir reacted violently. 

That time, the authorities just nodded and said it made sense, that your uncle had bad intentions. Neither you, nor Noir, were punished for the death of your uncle.

The Empire is much less understanding.

You had no choice but to take Noir and flee from Coruscant.

The pair of you bounced from planet to planet for several months and then were offered a safe house on Kashyyyk, in the Shadowlands far below the treetop homes of the Wookie people.

It’s not easy.

You are, at your heart, a city girl. Hunting and survival skills do not come naturally to you. Luckily, you have Noir. He really is the greatest equalizer.

If not for him, you’d have died several times since you moved into the small hut.

The biggest downside to this whole situation is the knowledge that you’re not likely to ever meet your soul mate.

Well, unless your soulmate is a Wookie, you suppose.

Carefully, you fillet the fish on your cutting board and toss the large majority into Noir’s bowl, the rest is set in a bowl of marinade and shoved into the fridge. 

At least you have electricity. 

Sure, you don’t have a holo, but you do have a radio that allows you to keep up to date on the current events, and, much more importantly, listen to books while you fight to keep the Shadowlands from reclaiming the hut.

You’re about to flip the radio on, when Noir releases a low growl.

A growl low enough that your hair stands on end.

You turn your gaze to Noir and see that his ears are flat against his head and his teeth are bared. Spooked, you reach for your belt and grab your blaster, and then you nudge the door open.

Noir slinks out of the hut and, cautiously, you follow him.

The forest is silent. Eerily silent. 

You scan the forest around you, not that you expect to be able to see or hear anything. It’s enough that Noir is still growling as though he’s on the verge of attacking.

There’s a rustle in a bush, and you lift your blaster, only to lower it as a small, curious-looking creature ambles out. It’s red, black, and white, and you’d almost think it was a raccoon if not for the colors.

Noir is still growling like there’s a threat, but he’s ignoring the small creature, which is still ambling towards you. It stops at your feet and raises on its hind legs, and you crouch to get a better look at it.

When Noir first appeared in your bedroom all those years ago, no one was sure what kind of animal he was. Not even the zoologists at the local university were able to determine a species.

So you spent a lot of time as a child flipping through various animal encyclopedias. And, while you’d never claim that you had a perfect memory, this little creature does look familiar.

“You’re a Red Panda, aren’t you?” You murmur as you lightly stroke the soft fur on top of her head, “Your kind isn’t native to Kashyyyk, how did you get here?” What’s more is that she’s soft, as though someone’s been taking care of her, though based on the scarring around her ankles, she’s been chained up a lot. “Are you someone’s pet?”

The red panda climbs into your arms and promptly falls asleep, nuzzling her face into your neck. “Well, you’ve clearly been socialized. Maybe I can do something about the scarring.”

Your head snaps up as there’s more rustling and Noir’s growl lowers.

Five Stormtroopers stumble into the clearing, “There it is!” One of them says as he points at the Red Panda in your arms, “Get it!”

You stumble backward as they lift their blasters and Noir launches himself at the Stormtroopers. 

You’ve always known that Noir was quick. Quick and with a strong bite, but the last time you’ve seen him move this quickly was when you were a child. He manages to kill three of the Stormtroopers before they recognize that he’s a threat.

The fourth and fifth, however, turn their blasters on him.

And, for a moment, you think that you’re going to watch Noir die. 

You only think that for a moment, as another man emerges from the forest. He’s clad in black armor, much unlike the stark white armor of the Stormtroopers. And you watch as he uses a blade to kill one of the Stormtroopers from behind. 

You watch as he and Noir work in concert to kill the last of the Stormtroopers.

And then you watch as Noir jumps up on the man, his tail wagging faster than you’ve ever seen before. The armored man seems surprised at how friendly Noir is, and, to be honest, you are too.

He’s so friendly with the armored man, in fact, that you can’t help but think that Noir is the representation of said armored man.

“Noir,” You say, drawing the attention of both the wild dog and the armored man, “His name is Noir.”

It’s kind of hard to read him, seeing as he’s wearing a helmet, but you’re pretty sure that he’s staring at you. “Ka’ra.” He gestures to the red panda in your arms, “She’s been a prisoner her whole life.”

“That explains the scarring,” You walk over to him and pass him his spirit animal, a small smile crossing your face as Noir drops to his paws and bounces around you. “I have some medical stuff, to wrap her scars if you want.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and then nods once, “I’d appreciate that.”

You lead him into the hut, and motion for him to take a seat anywhere while you dig around for the first aid kit.

Once you find it, you set it on the table and open it to dig through what you have left. “You know, you don’t have to leave your helmet on.” You note lightly, “This is a pretty safe place.”

The man hesitates for a moment, then he nods once and reaches up to pull off his helmet. 

You’re genuinely surprised to see that he’s a clone. He looks like every other clone you’ve ever seen, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin…though he does have some nasty scarring along the side of his face.

He’s handsome, you decide as you focus back on your medkit. He kind of looks like Noir, if you squint.

Though, now you have to wonder if you look like his Ka’ra.

“Ah, here we go!” You pull several rolls of bandages from the bottom of the kit and some scar powder. “If I remember correctly, this needs to be added to water, and then the bandages need to soak in it for a bit before we apply them—” You mumble under your breath as you flip the bottle and squint at the instructions.

“What’s your name?” The man asks.

You glance at him and introduce yourself absently, before you squint at the directions again, “What’s yours?”

“...CX-2.”

You pause, “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve never actually met another person with a soul animal before.”

“It’s rare, then?”

“One of the rarest soul bonds.” You agree, “The only one that’s more rare is the teleportation one.” You stand to grab a clean bowl and fill it with water before placing it on the table.

“I have a brother with the teleportation soul bond. He vanished one day, never saw him again.” CX replies as he watches you.

“Well, there are a lot of you.” You reply as you add some of the powder to the water and stir it in.

He doesn’t answer for a moment, “What is a human doing on Kashyyyk?”

“Ah…well.” You pause, “Noir killed an Imperial Officer who threatened me.”

CX stares at you for a long time, and then his lips curl up into an amused smile, “Good.”

You shoot him a puzzled look.

“He’s as protective of you as I would be.”

“Yeah, well…he is representative of you, right?” You reply with a small shrug.

“I didn’t expect you to be so calm about it,” CX notes, “You do realize that I’m an assassin, right?”

You start unrolling a roll of bandages, “When I was about eleven years old,” You say quietly, “My uncle tried to kidnap me from my bedroom. Noir,” You nod at the wild dog who is gnawing on a bone, “ripped his throat out before he got me out of the living room.” You look at him, “Why should I be afraid of you?”

CX looks startled for a moment, and then a quiet laugh falls from his lips, “I suppose you have good reason to not be afraid.”

You shrug, “I would prefer it if you didn’t assassinate people anymore, but I’d also prefer to not live in a hut on Kashyyyk, so—” You shrug again, and finally drop the bandages into the water.

“What would you have me do instead?”

“Mm, you can join the Rebellion?”

“Ick.”

A laugh falls from you, “I mean when the Republic was still standing, I never had to worry about Republic Officers threatening me. Within a month of the Republic turning into an Empire, I was threatened by an Imperial Officer.”

“...I suppose that it fair.”

“I’m not going to make you do anything,” You say lightly, “We can stay here if you prefer.”

“We?”

“Well, I assume that you want to stay with me?”

CX gazes at you silently, “I want you safe. So staying does make the most sense.”

You meet his gaze evenly, “I’ll definitely be safer with you, compared to away from you.” You agree.

CX is silent for a long moment, “Mandalore.”

“Beg pardon?”

“There’s a group of former Commandos who have a compound on Mandalore. They’re housing clones and their families.” He explains, “We’ll be safe there.”

“How do you know that?”

“All of the Clones know it.” He says, “Well, save for Alpha Prime, I suppose.”

“How are we supposed to get there?” You ask with a tilt of your head.

“I have a ship.”

You grin at him, and then pull the bandages out of the water, “I think it’s a great idea.”

It takes three weeks for you and CX to get to Mandalore, and it takes even longer for CX to prove that he’s not an active threat to his brothers. You’re not able to help with that, but watching him interact with you does a lot to earn him some goodwill.

You like your new home, it’s not Coruscant, but there is plenty of room for Noir to run around and get spoiled, and he does get spoiled. Not quite as much as CX’s Ka’ra, but pretty close. 

Surprisingly, CX is somewhat clingy. When he’s in the same area as you, his arms are around you, or his hand is in yours. You kind of have the feeling that he’s a little touch starved, so you don’t mind it.

On this particular day, you’re lounging in the sun, watching Noir and Ka’ra play together, while CX is sparring with Ordo (only the Nulls aren’t hesitant about sparring with CX, which is sad, but understandable).

You enjoy watching him spar largely because he tends to spar shirtless.

You’re allowed to be a simple woman when it comes to your soulmate, right?

“Watching them again?” A familiar voice pulls you out of your musing, and you tilt your head back to look up at the familiar man approaching you. “You could join them.”

“Hardly, if Ordo so much as scratched me, both Noir and CX would rip him to shreds.” You pat the ground next to you, “Have a seat, Tech. No need to hover.”

“He still wishes to be called CX?” Tech asks as he sinks to the ground next to you.

“It’s his choice.” You reply easily, “How was your physical therapy?”

“Painful,” Tech replies, matter-of-factly, “However, my healer believes that I am getting to the point where I will no longer need to see them.”

“That’s something. Are you thinking of reaching out to your brothers? Or your soulmate?”

“I am…unsure.”

“Oh?”

“I died.” He says bluntly, wincing as CX manages to flip Ordo onto his back, “I died, and my soul bond is weaker than it was before.”

“I assume your doctor has an opinion on that.”

“Of course. He says that I just need to reach out to Phee.”

“Why haven’t you?”

Tech anxiously adjusts his glasses, “What if she has found someone else?”

“Do you really think that she would?”

“...she is a beautiful and clever woman. Any man would be lucky to have her—” Tech starts.

“You’re borrowing trouble, Tech. You need to call her.”

Tech opens his mouth to reply but stops as CX jogs over.

You smile up at him adoringly, and offer him his water bottle, “Having fun, love?”

He smirks, “Ordo is bitching because I managed to flip him. So we’re having a round two.”

“Of course you are.”

He flashes a tiny grin at you and crouches so he’s able to kiss you quickly before he jogs back over to the sparring ring. His training was so different from his brothers, you can tell based on the scars covering his body, and based on the fact that he’s not quite as solid as Ordo and the other Nulls.

Not that any of that matters to you.

You love him as he is.

“It does not make sense to me how someone as kind as you ended up with someone like him,” Tech admits, “He intimidates everyone, and lashes out when pushed.”

“I’ve never been afraid of him.” You reply with a small grin, “Even when he killed someone in front of me, even when he loses his temper.”

Tech shakes his head, “I believe I understand.”

You tilt your head curiously.

“You are just as insane as he is.”

You aren’t able to help that laughter that bursts from your lips, “I suppose,” You say through your giggles, “that’s one way to view it.”

Tech flashes a crooked smile at you, and then gets back to his feet, “I am going to go send Phee a message, and hope that she forgives me. Enjoy your ogling.”

You fling a handful of grass at him but don’t deny his accusations. 

The spar ends an hour later after it gets too hot for them to continue, and CX makes his way to your side, dropping onto the ground next to you. Immediately his arms slide around your waist and he presses his face against your neck.

“Did you have fun?” You ask as you card your fingers through his curls. 

He hums in response, his arms tightening around you, “I’m glad that you don’t mind coming to these.”

“I enjoy watching you spar.”

He pulls his face away from your neck, “You enjoy watching me do anything.” 

“You are ridiculously handsome.” You shift in his grip slightly so you’re able to press your hands against his cheeks, “I’m a lucky lady.”

“Mm, is that right?” CX asks as he leans in and presses his forehead against yours.

“You’re all sweaty,” You whisper to him. 

“So maybe we should go home,” He offers with an arched brow, “You can wash my hair for me.”

A giggle falls from your lips, “Deal.”

CX grins at you, and crashes his lips against yours, knocking you back onto the grass.

Everything isn’t perfect, CX still needs gene therapy to remove the enhanced aging, not to mention regular therapy to help deal with all of his issues. But so long as you’re together, everything will be fine.

You won’t allow for anything else.

[generaltulip]

Finding out that Ketheric was supposed to be recruitable makes a whole lot of sense but more importantly it makes me want to write a fic where Raz/tav (sweet, understanding, gentle giant) convinces all 3 chosen to join his camp/companions and instead go after the dead 3. He manages to save people that everyone claims are all too far gone out of sheer kindness and love because I’m a sucker for sunshine and rainbows and everyone being saved

But also:

Ketheric being an awkward dad trying to reconnect with his daughter and making amends to her wifey that he fucked over for 100 years, Orin is trying not to be murdery and is awkwardly making friends with the companions and being taught the arts and healthy ways to express herself, and Gortash is snuggling up with his new boo and being coached on having healthy relationships while tinkering on how to fix Karlach’s heart.

I also like the idea of Ketheric being the weird but surprisingly good dad figure to Gortash and Orin now that they’re all away from the dead 3 because fuck both of their respective parents and fuck ya weird found families with weird as shit dynamics

[bella-atz]

𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐀'𝐒 relationship with ateez

જ⁀➴ masterlist

SEONGHWA ⋆ HWALA

these two seriously radiate the mama and daughter relationship. even though it may be a silly joke about how seonghwa is portrayed as the “mama” of the group, he truly does play that role. he is so kindhearted and gentle that he always tends to shower bella with so much love and care. he brings comfort to everyone and protects them. with his precious bambi, he praises bella for anything she does to contribute to the group, reminding his angel that she is perfectly enough. not to mention, she is his favorite child. 

HONGJOONG ⋆ HONGHEE

VERY overprotective. hongjoong will make sure bella is safe even if they are miles apart. however, he does know that she can take care of herself. atinys does find it cute how he is the biggest oppa to bella. additionally, she would ask him for advice and give her some inspiration. bella admires hongjoong as the hero of her life. 

YUNHO ⋆ YUNYOUNG

as the lovable giant puppy of ateez, yunho is the sweetest and most playful to bella. he knows how to make her smile and laugh with his dorky behavior. plus, yunho influences bella to let loose and go along with the chaos because she was a shy girl during their early idol days. there are times it’s good and there are times it’s bad. the good, bella is secretly a comedian with so much wit that she can make the members laugh hysterically. the bad is she would become a crazy yet cute bambi. so, in conclusion, yunho can bring out a new side of bella. 

YEOSANG ⋆ YEOLA

soft like really THE softest duo ever! they share a lot of similarities. from having perfect visuals to being the cutest cinnamon rolls in the world. it’s almost like they are the same person. but underneath their sweet, innocent, and pure persona, there is a wicked side to them. although the biggest difference between yeosang and bella is one is more clueless than the other. *ahem* yeosang. 

SAN ⋆ SANBELL

he loves and i mean LOVES her so much. when their big boss announced they were welcoming a brand new member, san instantly accepted bella. yeah, it did occur to him that it was an odd idea for a girl to be in a group filled with eight guys, but it didn't matter. san is one of the kindest human beings out there and he is bella’s certified hypeman because she is perfect in his eyes. everyone needs a choi san in their lives. 

MINGI ⋆ BELLGI

when they first met, mingi expected bella to quickly be intimidated or afraid of him because of his cold-looking outer appearance. well, that is 100% incorrect. bella approached mingi with the most cordial attitude. she became his bestie who was willing to hold his hand if he got scared or upset, bring him joy, and protect him. mingi does find it adorable yet amazing how someone tinier than him is very strong. he appreciates bella with his whole heart 24/7. 

WOOYOUNG ⋆ 2YOUNG

a sunshine protector and a sunshine. the fandom goes wild for these two. wooyoung is the best boy and the best moodmaker. he is also like a bodyguard to bella. wooyoung will fight back if anyone talks down on her or looks at her the wrong way. most importantly, there is never a dull moment in bella’s life when wooyoung is around. 

JONGHO ⋆ JONGLA

last but not least, the maknaes of ateez. the level of maturity from the 2000s line is hilarious. they often get mistaken as the “adults” of the group and the members can see it. also let me tell you about their vocals. it is HEAVENLY. along with san, they deliver like angels lighting up the gloomy sky. despite not liking affection or skinship as much, jongho will go soft for bella. her adorable self fills his heart with happiness. 

[blingblong55]

First love late spring- Ghost

This was written based on a request! So I hope you enjoy it :)

platonic or romantic relationship? ..I'll let ya decide on that.

F!reader (if you feel more comfortable with he or they pronouns please discard female mentions! I want you to feel as comfortable as anyone reading this! (I used as little as possible!!!))

You are the sunshine to the once cold-hearted lieutenant. Your voice as sweet as a spring melody. But lately this all has change, you started to shut your self down. Especially around him. To him you had consumed his body and soul. Your kind and warm heart, scrubbed his clean, leaving only Simon to be the victim of your jokes, laughter, and the open mind you had. Always accepting of every thing and any one. A bright soul, the soft ocean breeze, an angel living under starry nights, sunrise and sunsets, that is what you had become to this healing man.

Days ago, out of pure stress he had told you, your way of being annoyed him. He never meant it, but he hated when he heard your laughter from his office. "Just shut up r/n!" he told you, and your eyes watered. "But S-" you tried to talk but he shut you off. "its lieutenant to you and I mean it, it's getting on my nerves" he left you with his harsh words bruising you.

"oh.",you sadly let out.

-----

"c'mon love what's wrong?" his voice softened, his eyes looking for some kind of explanation, but you gave him nothing

"it's nothing lieutenant" your soft voice barely reaching him.

He had no clue what he had done, but it was clear you would shut down once he was near you.

Yesterday had become the second day you hadn't spoke to him. He missed you, on your favorite seat that he assigned as yours in his office. He heard soap and you laughing at something Gaz has said. Back then he thought you had just forgotten to go to his office, maybe because you had spent all day with the other men. But as soon as he walked in, your smile disappeared. He noticed how your body went stiff.

"lass, what's wrong?" soap asked once he noticed how your moods shifted. "Nothing" you replied

Later that day during training, he noticed how instead of working with him, like you always did, you chose Soap instead. He was forced to work with Roach. Soap would cracked jokes, that made you smile. And not once did you stare in his way.

Today was no different. You ate lunch with the team and once he arrived you somehow would finish your meal and leave. He tried to isolate you but it never worked.

That was until he spotted you alone. Perfect opportunity to catch up with you.

You were humming to a song on your earbuds. A smile plastered on your face. He knew that melody, you had been gushing to him about it non stop. A smile appeared on his lips.

"Y'know that rookie looks like butters from South Park" he attempted to make you smile. "yep" was all he got. He tugged at your arm, but you moved past him.

"Whatever I did, m'sorry. Just please talk to me" His pleaded, his voice filled with regret, brows furrowed. He walked with caution to his darling.

"if you want to tell me how much of a son of'a bitch I am go ahead, punch me, or just yell at me, but please do something" his hand now making way towards your side.

You stayed silent.

You fell so stupid, how can a friend, and a team mate make you feel so....little? His cold heart was easy to tame, but yours was easier to capture. But you weren't at blame, he simply told you how he had felt that day.

----

Simon was a wildflower bouquet, a simple guitar strum on sunny spring evenings, but Ghost was a black cat, black coffee. and black smoke to once pink lungs.

All you wanted to do was tell jokes and stories, but it was clear to you he disliked it. All of you, anything you ever displayed to him. He disliked it. (according to you of course)

He had no idea how much you wanted to give him surprise hugs, throw paper planes at him while he filed papers, sing until his ear bled, but most\t importantly how much you longed for your Simon.

You wanted to show him pictures of your dogs and animals and share stories of your farm back home. He had no idea that he was the spark and you the match. You never figured you'd be here; standing as if the light at the end of the tunnel felt further from you.

When you first arrived at base, you were shy and very quiet.

Ghost encouraged r/n to get out of that quiet shell she sat in. "Anytime you feel little in this base or anywhere, I'll be there. Doin' something so others don't notice how nervous you get" His kind words lived with her anytime she had to speak up.

On days you trained rookies, he'd be outside. And from a window you'd see him give you a thumbs up. On a few occasions he'd mispronounce words so other would laugh at him.

So how could you not shut down, when the only man to ever encourage that loud, happy, and joyous soul of yours to dance in every shadow all of the sudden make you feel insignificant?

A/N: I'm not sure if ya liked this but I hope you enjoyed this somewhat ok writing. take care

Tags: @g4y-gr3ml1n

Request are open!

Pt. 2

[rainofthetwilight]

LEVI I WANNA GIVE YOU TRAMUA ABOUT ARIN

So, we all know that Arin is struggling to improve his spinjitzu and he feels useless and just wants his parents back.

…He feels jealous. And we know that he doesn’t have an elemental power according to Doc Wyatt.

And he will *probably* fight Sora if he finds out that Sora “helped” his Object Spinjitzu.

What I see from Arin is that he is slowly getting traumatized..

And I have multiple questions from where Arin’s arc is going.

My biggest question is, is the ninja holding Arin him back or his parents holding him back? I think it both.

Not to mention that there is so much foreshadowing to Arin’s arc.

And why do I imagine Arin is just trapped in like, a cage full of insecurities, or trauma? And I can imagine that he can’t get out of that cage.

Ras said that Arin is not improving since the first time they met, Egalt said that Arin is useless, Sora is improving and might be able to learn spinjitzu, and most importantly, Lloyd’s and Arin’s relationship is slowly falling apart like Wu and Morro.

My poor Arin is just having one HECK of a trauma here. And I swear to the Fsm if the writers gives Arin has even more trauma in season 2 part 2 than part 1 I will throw a chair.

But who knows…? Someone said that it was a cannon event that every sunshine character has an angst arc.

Sorry for making you insane, Levi I just wanted to share this idea with you just for fun.

And also, do you think that Arin is going through 5 stages of grief or..? Idk, I wanted to ask you and tell me what’s your thoughts on this.

AHDHAJDBJAJDJAJSNANA YEAH I'M. I'M NOT OKAY RN 👍👍👍

also absolutely do NOT apologize for making me insane I am literally loving these asks so much bro SHDJAJDJW 😭 I love analysing silly lil lego characters w/ you all <333

the thing about the foreshadowing is that it actually feels very intentional, like obv I know foreshadowing is pretty much always intentional but like..you get what I mean?

they are constantly reminding us how much of a great person arin is, in s1 especially. he's a good friend, he's kind, he trusts people quickly, always has that hope in him and so much more. something is definitely going to happen, even if the whole sora helping him thing didn't happen, he is going to be put through the wringer whether if he actually gets an evil arc or not

plus, he already is traumatized. loosing your parents and neighborhood all in one day while navigating an entire new world with so many new places and people on your own (at first) , while only being atleast 10 years old, is pretty traumatizing all in itself. but even after all of these years, he still had hope, he still had hope that his parents and heros could come back. and guess what? his heros did come back, and what did he exactly say again?

''if I loose hope the ninja could come back, then I loose hope that my parents could come back."

even after the ninja came back, his parents didn't. all these years he relied on his hope for the ninja to come back to bring his parents back aswell, but their whereabouts are still unknown. add that to the extreme pressure of saving the world from ending and the amount of self doubt he has, that's when the shell of his hope finally began to crack

in s1, the return of the ninja gave him even more hope than he had before. he was still excited and animated, and finally got his dreams to come true (becoming a ninja). the thought of his parents holding him back didn't plague him as much as now, because that hope in him was still there and it only grew stronger each adventure. but now, even after a long while since the ninja had came back, his parents were nowhere to be found. and that just hurts

dude the insecurities part AGHDJS...the weight of being a ninja was finally becoming heavy on his shoulder and that only added to his frustration and anger of not being good enough. he sees his friends around him improve, and be useful in a way, unlike how he had failed time and time again without achieving results. and with egalt calling him useless and ras constantly reminding him how he still hadn't improved, and he feels jealous even tho he doesn't want to, and it just made everything worse.

I'm also thinking abt how sora accidently reminded him of how he didn't imporve aswell, by saying "your spinjitzu is just as good as when I met you!". and even though she meant it in absolute good faith, that's just it to arin. that's it, he was still in the same level he was the first time, he didn't improve. and with how he got angry at her when she was only trying to cheer him up after what happened, I can't even imagine what would happen if the news of that spinjitzu throw help thing comes out

ALSO. ARIN GOING THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF. DUDE NOW THAT I THINK ABT IT..

anon had also sent an ask abt this too!!!

so like, now that I actually think abt it, what if that hope was actually just a cover of his denial? the five stages as we all know are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance in that order. so like...what if that hope wasn't really hope, but instead a disguise for denial?

whenever the topic of his parents came up, especially in s1, he kept denying the fact they wouldn't come back. same with the ninja, he still believed they were out there

and now in s2, we see his self doubt and his trauma catch onto him. we saw how angry he was at himself, even to the point of shoving lloyd away when trying to comfort him and almost snapping at sora when she was trying to do the same. we don't see much of that 'hope' like in s1 anymore. it's much more..sadder, more angrier even

and with all this, he's most definitely going through them, now on the second stage. first in denial of his parents and the ninja not returning, and now anger at himself and the world for hating him like this

when I tell you I am so so excited to see what they do with arin's arc w/ all of this going on for his character I am not lying bro, I'm so insane AHDJSKDJJW 😭👍

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Okay so I've had time to calm down and think of ways to make eunseong eat dirt and so now to the positives of this episode which was completely overshadowed by those awful 15 minutes.

- baekhong, how far they've come. To me this was one of their strongest episodes, one because it was truly the most vulnerable we had seen of them together and that scene outside the hospital and then outside the church oof??? The way I could feel the pain, the way I could understand where each was coming from and the way it just hurt because you want only good for them, most importantly though it was the way they were finally communicating with each other and knew why the other was behaving the way that were and were making active efforts to be there for each other irrespective of what they felt.

- at first I had whiplash at how they kept going from tears to just casually hanging out with each other, but it just made so much sense? Like here they are, not walking away but are dealing with the pain together, hyunwoo still trying to convince her but also just being there for her, and haein not wanting to budge but also entertaining hyunwoo's antiques because this is how they work through things, they cry, but they still stay by each other, they try to understand, the effort is all.

- hyunwoo's reaction after the accident deserves special mention but lol what even was that accident, nothing but shock factor and the way they hired that one white dude to just casually be like oh my god lemme call an ambulance and then disappear (bad bad writing) but I couldnt care about any of that because did you see the way kim soo hyun acted his heart out that scene????? Did you see the shortness of breath, the on the verge of a panic attack, the despair then the relief in his eyes, the crying, the way he held her?? The way I could feel every emotion and personally while I think the accident itself was stupid I found it poignant that haein changed her mind when she saw hyunwoo like this and we all know it's not because of the "ooh he looks so sad some lady will come hug him when he's crying after I die" but because haein herself has never seen hyunwoo like this, she saw entirely how destroyed he looked and felt when he thought she died and that hurt her more than anything and oof I just love these two, it's the way they just love each other so much and just want the other to be happy, in this moment haein said I'd hate to forget you but I'd hate it more if my death destroyed you and I think that speaks volumes.

- every other baekhong scene was gold lol, in the hospital, them just being domestic and just talking, the words they say before haein goes in for surgery (poorly written surgery, poorly written illness), the way hyunwoo just collapses once she's in - (and that's it I can't talk about the last 15 minutes lol even though there's a lot of baekhong glory there too).

- special mention for aunt beomja who really is a little ray of sunshine and for soocheol and his little family (I have issues with their bad qualities just being disregarded by this writer but that's for a different post).

Anyway, the ep is flawed just like every ep has been, it's clear the writer has no idea how to navigate complex plot lines and really should have just stuck to baekhong, because that's truly been worth the watch and has been very well written.

[unadulteratedkr]

katherine, love, i’ve got a little writing prompt for you: a storm is bringing an unusual cold front over the inn, so ed & stede (but especially ed) are freezing their asses off. they’re trying to keep warm and make sure the other is doing alright. what do you think? 💕

Oooooo excellent yesssss. this one took me a little bit because I've written Ed and Stede in the snow before where Ed's all "THIS IS A MAGICAL FAIRY LAND OF DIAMONDS" about snow and Stede is a big big baby about it (for anyone wanting to read, here you go! it's obnoxiously cute if I do say so myself)

SO LET'S TAKE ANOTHER STAB AT ED AND STEDE IN COLD WEATHER

And you know what? I think we're starting with snow. No, I'm not going all Disney Channel Original Movie "The Ultimate Christmas Present" on y'all and magically making it snow in the Caribbean, no no no, I can absolutely see Ed being annoyed that it's cold but they don't even have something fun and magical like SNOW to make it worth it and Stede "born with the soul of a storyteller" Bonnet, he gets all bright-eyed with an idea, and he asks Ed what he'd want to do if there HAD been snow, and that's how they craft a "snow day" together that ends with them in a fort with tea made just the way they both like it, curled up in each other's arms, just chattering away, "yes, and"-ing each other to RIDICULOUS heights, exchanging soft kisses over their favorite snacks because what better time to bust into Roach's lemon biscuits than on a "snow day"

so okay I want to do a little slice of this lemme see lemme seeee AH okay I want to write a little of where they end up, so they're all assembled, they've built a PROPER fort, they've got every single blanket and bit of spare fabric piled up in a little nest, and they're ready to CUDDLE, SNOW DAY STYLE.

--

"Oh, Ed. This is---this is---well, damn, it's about near perfect, my love." Stede's voice is soft as he gazes over the fort Ed's assembled, and Ed's heart trembles a little in a way he can't blame on the raging storm outside, remembering the last one he built. He likes this one a lot more; this one has room for Stede, and his tea, and his warm, hazel eyes shimmering with more love than one man can fucking stand.

Ed takes the teapot from Stede and scoots over, smiling up at him softly as he pats the cushions next to him in invitation. The heavy velvet that will eventually line the settee they've just pilfered from the beached merchant ship falls behind Stede, finally encompassing them in the warmth of their "snow day" fort. The candles outside the fort filter through the weaves of fabric, casting them both in a rosy, dim, glow.

"Well, come on, babe. It's not made for looking at, it's made to be forted in."

"Ah, yes---of course. Now tell me, what does the act of forting entail?" Stede's sunshine grin makes Ed sniff importantly, putting on a snooty, self-important voice as he holds out his teacup to Stede. Stede's eyes wrinkle with fondness, and he sets to work on Ed's sugar and tea.

"Oh, come on, Stede. Everyone knows how to fort." Ed waggles his eyebrows, and Stede responds with an arched brow of his own. God, Ed loves just how bitchy Stede looks when he gets all imperious like this.

"If your double-entendre-ing means what I think it means, you're not setting yourself up for the best argument, my love." Stede says smoothly, passing Ed his tea. "We both know we've had plenty of fun 'forting' where I was doing nothing but looking at you." Ed chokes on his tea, and Stede snickers as he pours a cup for himself.

Ed manages to regain some sense of composure, stealing a biscuit from Stede's saucer, kissing Stede on the cheek as warmth sinks in past his bones to the place in his belly normally reserved for butterflies. Nothing so flighty as butterflies tonight, no. Tonight's full of the soft warmth of a hand-stitched quilt, all the way down to his navel.

"Okay, fair enough, Bonnet." Ed scoots in even closer burying his nose in the crook of Stede's shoulder for a breath, and another, before peering up at the man he'd cross a continent for. "You figured me out, caught me red handed." Stede presses his lips to Ed's crown, and Ed's eyes flutter shut.

"Of course, if we're talking about more traditional forting, I suppose that might mean---hmm. Safety, maybe? Comfort?" Stede's voice is as gentle as it was the day Ed met him, careful and kind with all the things Ed doesn't manage to say the first time. "Sounds more like something you can't do just by looking, wouldn't you say?"

Ed sighs, burying his face into Stede's shoulder again. He breathes it in, breathes in the warmth, the comfort, the safety of this second fort; he breathes it in as he fills his soul with all the magic that is this second chance at love he's been granted.

"Yeah, mate. Sounds just about right."

[sopuu]

I love your art so much, it's such an inspiration :D

2 questions about your champion au

First of all, Who would Romeo transform into after he forces Lukas and Jesse to fight? I would imagine Jesse because he needs that sort of power to do stuff to Beacontown. I could be wrong-

Second, would there be a confrontation scene in your au? Like that one scene in episode 5, Lukas confronted Jesse. Would that happen? I'm curious because Lukas also got teleported to the sunshine institute.

ooh ok so for the first, romeo still turns into jesse bc as you said he needs to have jesse's status as hero in residence to have the power to run the town as he wants- but i think this impacts jesse a lot more than it did in canon bc it literally happens right after he goes through the whole being romeo's perfect champion hell. like imagine going through all that, realising you've finally escaped and reunited with your friends, just to get hit with another immensely stressful situation that involves not only your friends but also your townspeople and possibly the world? everything just keeps getting worse for him

also i have this scene in my head where after romeo disappears and drops them all to the ground, the gang rushes to jesse to check up on him. but all he can do is sit there with his head in his hands, shakily mumbling that he needs a moment while he breaks down a little and processes everything. it's like he took one step forward and two steps backwards. the weight on his shoulders just got heavier and he's the only one who can lift it, but he's just...so, so tired. (everyone sits by him during this, and lukas gently wraps him into a hug, rubbing circles on his back until jesse feels better. once he's mentally caught up on everything he perks right up and frets over them instead, espcially lukas since he just had to fight him. typical jesse :,) ) i have no idea if i'll draw this later though so i'm putting this out there in case i don't sdjghf

for the second q, the confrontation still happens but this time it's with axel and olivia who's formed the dead enders (or whatever team name you chose in season 1). just like lukas they did that in hopes to remind "jesse" of what they, and most importantly he was like before they had any sort of fame, when they were just a bunch of nerds from a treehouse. also i kinda wanted to give them a more prominent role in the story since they barely had any screentime in s2 lol.

the difference between them and the ocelots tho is that the two aren't really fighters- not in the sense of power but in the sense that they didn't straightforwardly rebel against "jesse". some passive defiance was definitely there like telling him that he's not doing the right thing, but they didn't form the rebellion team until romeo threw them into the admin tower prison. that was their last straw and the final proof they needed to see that the new jesse no longer cared for them.

oughh this got so long im sorry ghfdjk. tl;dr, romeo still becomes jesse, and yes the confrontation happens but with axel and olivia. the thing about this au is that the major plot points stay the same: they go to jail, romeo terrorises beacontown, they find the weapon, romeo gets beat down etc- its just how they get there that's different. i just really like exploring how one small change in canon events affects everything else :]

[wexhappyxfew]

Okay but to add to the Kennedy x Bucky Stalag thoughts, Kennedy grounds Bucky and gives him a sense of an anchor. Just like you said Shannon, he has someone he wants to take care of and whoops he’s just realized he’s in love.

But then… what’s this? The flip side, Kennedy also realizes she’s in love. All of a sudden these feelings are bubbling up for this protective, empathetic, caring man who is watching out for her and who has sorta been on her radar but she’s never really taken the time to notice. He’s holding her hand and listening to her talk about her trauma. And all of a sudden she realizes she’s not alone in this mess and she has someone who wants to watch out for her specifically because of who she is (not just that she’s a woman) and she wants to watch out for them too. She cares about all the boys in the 100th but this is different.

Please ignore if this is not the vibe, but this is where my mind went👉🏼👈🏼

-☀️

HI SUNSHINE ANON!!!!! <3333333 i saw this in the early hours of the morning before work and it positively made me so so happy and i was so excited to answer it!!! PLEASE KNOW. this is absolutely the vibe!!! you really seem to understand the dynamic between kennedy and bucky and it makes me so happy to see people express that through their analysis, depiction and dissection of these two. so truly! THANK YOU!!!! <333333 please enjoy my ramblings! i put it under the cut too incase i get lengthy haha (which i tend to do).....

kennedy ALSO realizing she is in love is HUGE. because let's dig into kennedy and her past for a moment - because we've done that with judy (and it is a heavy influence for) and it's only right we do that for kennedy (i feel the need to do it for annie now too haha).

KENNEDY THOUGH -- she comes from a wealthier background than most - we've seen the mentions, mom set her up with a few guys at the country club, had a fairly good childhood - pretty happy and joyful, attended parties and charity events with her family, she came from good things to say the least. a few other worthy mentions - kennedy was in love once before, she knows what it feels like to be in love and to be heartbroken - she protects herself (naturally). she grew up with all brothers, so she knows how to stand up for herself too when things aren't right.

SO, with bucky entering the picture - and most importantly, her realizing that she is in fact IN LOVE with bucky - takes a lot for her. she doesn't trust too easily and when someone is sticking their neck out for her, she usually is always questioning it. just like when she dumbs down bucky in that one fic where he said she could rest in his bunk after a nightmare - he was just being nice, kennedy says. she doesn't give herself really enough credit for things like this. and bucky blows that out of the water for her. and shows her that she CAN be loved.

i love your wording - this protective, empathetic, caring man who is watching out for her and who has sorta been on her radar but she’s never really taken the time to notice. HEAVY on the 'sorta been on her radar'. kennedy isn't blind. this definitely is on ideas for writing but, when she first met bucky, it was before their first practice run when kennedy became a waist gunner for him. he was all sweet as peaches, shaking her hand, offering some compliments on her shooting skills. and she remembered hearing about him before seeing him and so once she saw him, it sorta ticked in her mind like hm i like this guy, but nothing more. and then bucky was just always there - even when she moved to silver bullets. bucky was just....there. and so when his few attempts at expressing himself towards her don't go as planned, she distances a bit in a way. not entirely, but she thinks that if she gets too locked into the idea of them possibly even being people that work out with one another, she would never go back.

until bucky goes down. and she does too. and they're in the stalag. i would consider it their moment that just changes everything for them. because kennedy realizing like i am in love with this man and there's no stopping at this point, she absolutely makes it well-known. because let's be for real - she's hella protective over him right back. would 100% fight people for him (and he'd be proud as anything watching her). but....no doubt, her recognition of being in love with him makes her realize a whole lot more about life than before (and more moments that she shrugged off too).

also can i just-

She cares about all the boys in the 100th but this is different.

this is my favorite piece of the ask sunshine anon. like. YES. EXACTLY. kennedy is a fiercely protective and loyal friend. you don't mess with her. and she loves all the 100th boys with her every being - like: her and brady got drunk one time on schnapps and then bet each other to ride bikes at 2 in the morning with bessie to supervise them (bessie took them both back to barracks to tuck them into bed), kennedy and buck are VERY like-minded and have shared drinks before, kennedy has even helped hambone learn how to dance and not feel weird like!!!! BUT WITH BUCKY. it is a whole different ball game (literally lmao no pun intended). it just is. and she doesn't know why. until she realizes that. shit. she loves him. a whole lot.

[choicesmc]

Chiamaka x Fiona: The Analysis

okay, self indulgent post here <3 

I just find chiamaka + fiona’s relationship so fascinating. because they could’ve been happy, they could’ve lived a nice, long, stable life + fiona really did trust and love her. So part of this is post is to explain why fiona trusted her + illuminate a little of how their relationship developed and worked <3 <- ive put too many hours of thought into this 😭

it is also incredibly long so under the cut it goes ♠️

The Beginnings 

Fiona + Chiamaka are, essentially, high school sweethearts. While they didn’t date during high school, they hung out a lot and worked on various things together. It helped that they had pretty similar interests + even at the beginning of their friendship, their respective families were already teasing them for their relationship. (You know the: ‘Is she your girlfriend?’, ‘His in love with you, obviously!’ <- that sort of thing)  

One thing to get out of the way is that Fiona was very different in high school. He was not the flamboyant team player he is now. High school Fiona was quiet, intimidating, and stern. He took control of most group projects and almost always sought leadership roles <- he wasn’t really liked because he often crossed the line between ‘strong leader’ to straight up ‘domineering’. None of that was on purpose though and I doubt Fiona was even aware of the majority opinion on him. 

Meanwhile, Chiamaka was sunshine personified. She was nice + persistent + kind + caring + helpful + supportive. And, from the outside looking in, it was a grouch x sunshine romance story. You know, the ray of sunshine slowly worming its way into the grouch’s heart. They looked made for each other with complementing personalities + appearances. It wasn’t that hard to imagine their dynamic stretching into the future with a wedding + children. They really did fill their stereotypical roles well with Chiamaka being the kind mother, the warm half, of Fiona’s masculine domination. <- Caricatures of the ideal marriage, in a sense. 

But their relationship didn’t really start to pick up till college. 

College

Chiamaka + Fiona went to the same college. It was a private college a decent drive away from their hometown and it was very much a blossoming period for Fiona + Chiamaka + their relationship. For them, it was the first time he was really away from his upbringing + family + the first time he’s meeting a really wide variety of opinions. For their relationship, this is the period they begin to really know each other. 

Fiona learns more about queer struggles + identities and, while not identifying himself with anything (<- he really tries not to think too hard about it), he does shift closer to an ally. He’ll defend his gay friends to Chiamaka + sign petitions + attend protests. Chiamaka, for the most part, doesn’t comment much on it but importantly doesn’t say a word of this to his parents. It’s an unspoken thing between them <- fiona gets to explore this new world without fear of repercussion for the first time in his life + what he considered support. (sidenote: this is the period where Fiona adopts the name Fiona. <- prior to this, his given English name was Peter.) 

On Chiamaka’s side, college was a test run for marriage. I’m not entirely too sure how ‘in love’ she was with Fiona but I do know that she’d spent her high school years surrounded by the idea that she was in love with Fiona + marriage was the best possibility for the two of them. Now that they were in the same college + away from external pressure, this was the chance for her to figure out if marriage was really in the cards for the both of them. 

So, she kept his secrets, she cooked for him, they made time to spend with each other + what they discovered surprised and enchanted them. Fiona started to become a little more flamboyant, started wearing a wider range of colors, took interest in her make-up, and took more of a backseat role in their relationship. To be clear, Fiona wasn’t tossing on skirts and wearing lipstick <- but he was branching into blues + greens + oranges (and in general taking better pride in his appearance) rather than the dark blacks + greys + whites he’d grown up with  and he could tell brands apart and knew Chiamaka’s favorites. Chiamaka found that she liked being able to pamper Fiona, liked seeing him dressed up + liked the more natural confidence he had when he was <- this was still heavily policed, though. None of them stepped too far out of their roles. 

For example: Chiamaka pampered him with food. She’d make his favorites, take him out to places and order for him (even if Fiona would pay at the end of the night), and cook with him –leading him around the kitchen in an area of life where she was allowed to dominate. Fiona learned that he really really liked giving gifts + as he came more in touch with different interests, he very much set his eye on buying the best he could for her. They were stereotypically ‘feminine’ gifts (ie necklaces, rings, dresses, makeup kits) but he’d developed quite an eye at picking them out.  

That’s how they fell in love. By being more than their roles, by finding the different shades, by plugging shades and gaps between boundaries where there were none. They both knew, instinctively, that this was something they’d have to keep to themselves. The nuances of their relationship –the truth that traditionally lines were more blurred and fluid than they appeared– was something that they knew wasn’t acceptable in public. 

For Fiona, this was the best he could hope for. Was it everything? No. Absolutely not. But it was a way to live an honorable, respectable life within the constraints of society + family pressures. It was having his cake + eating it too. It was something. 

Chiamaka saw it a bit differently. (Not that Fiona realized that at the time.) For Chiamaka, college was a time to explore. It was four years to get weird deviations out of her system without repercussions. When college was over, she had to settle back down + be ready for weddings + motherhood. And she planned ahead too. Fiona + her could have their fun, inverting + playing around with social roles –but not forever. In the end, they’d have to go back to their respective roles.  

(sidenote: Chiamaka originally came for a biomedical degree before switching to education. Stated reason? To give fiona the choice of a demanding career since she’d be available for their future kids.) 

Of course, the four years came and went + she realized this wasn’t something she could get ‘out of her system’ so the both of them decided, in public, they’d fulfill their social roles + in private they’d continue as they currently did. <- Again, this was not something they actively sat down and talked about, this was mutual understanding of what they were doing. They were on the same page, just different lines. (<- I’d attribute this to their long friendship prior to their romantic relationship) 

It wouldn’t be wrong to call them soulmates at this time. What changed this was their engagement. 

Engagement Period

They were engaged the day they graduated (sidenote: <- this is a retcon, i initially imagined them getting engaged later down the line but i like this better). Literally. Fiona sang the national anthem at the beginning of the ceremony + then got down on one knee + proposed to Chiamaka much to her delight. 

But this also marked the end of their idyllic life. Now, they were back under the social rules that had governed much of their life + this time with a detailed discomfort with it. Needless to say, it was a struggle to re-adjust. Fiona found escape in academia; first working in research and then as a professor. Chiamaka found it easier to adjust. She’d already internalized that college would be a phase and, yes, it turned out to be a little more permanent than she’d wanted but, ultimately, she spent her four years ready to return while Fiona had not. 

And she helped him edge back into the stoicism he grew up in, y’know? When things were too hard, there was always the knowledge that once the both of them were alone, they could slip back into the fluid, real relationship they’d developed together. It’s not really a surprise that Fiona trusted Chiamaka in addition to loving her. There was real and genuine joy in seeing her wearing an engagement ring. There was real adoration during the wedding planning period. For the record, the same could be said for Chiamaka. With Fiona was a side of her that only existed around him, Fiona was a safe place for her. <- The difference was: this is her limit. 

She was still very much raised in a traditional Nigerian household with traditional beliefs. Where Fiona was gallivanting and flirting with queer ideas, Chiamaka was still bound to her family and community. Yes, there was still freedom, but it was a leashed one. She was expected to keep her family in the know, to continue familial bonds and be their eyes and ears in what Fiona was up to. As I said earlier, she took advantage of this position to cover for Fiona. <- She fed just enough info that things were realistic without telling the full extent nor truth of what Fiona was up to. This was a protection but it also meant she was never really free in the same way Fiona was. 

While she had grown, she hadn’t grown as much as Fiona had assumed. <- Notice how much of their relationship was assumed. They don’t talk much about their problems but they tend to be on the same page but “different lines” (<- heh quote from earlier that now makes more sense, i think im very clever). This is where it came to bite them in the ass. 

Fiona assumed Chiamaka was like him: constrained by social pressures and fighting for a haven of respite [in him]. Chiamaka assumed Fiona had simply grown and stretched his beliefs without true change: he was an ally, fine. But in the end, Chiamaka assumed that was something he could drop as easily as he’d ‘picked’ up.  

That was a problem.  

The End <3 

Now you get why Fiona told Chiamaka about his bisexuality. Why he came clean about his gender nonconformity. Why he was so shaken and blinded sided in [worse than heartbreak], <- fic, and somehow mistaken about the limits of his fiancée’s acceptance. 

Hopefully, you’ll also see Chiamaka in a more sympathetic light. <- I tried to do that in the fic as well but y’know…. kinda hard to do that in that fic. D: 

Even more, i get to dump all these thoughts about fiona x chiamaka out of my head finally!! 

As always asks are greatly appreciated!! <- I really hope y’all liked this despite its length :) 

[yukidragon]

What are your thoughts on the “Party Time Jack!” AU? Got any headcanons or delightfully dark ideas for it?

Ah yes, the classic Party Time Jack AU, as heard and seen in this post on the official Sunny Day Jack tumblr. There’s also this fun picture Sauce drew on their now gone public twitter. Credit, as always, for their amazing art goes to them.

Remember to always credit artists when they are generous enough to give permission to share their art like this, folks. Just as importantly, don’t share stuff they don’t give permission to share, like the private posts on the Snaccpop Patreon. Sauce and the team are very kind and deserve our support. For just $3 you too can have a programmed version of Jack in the form of Sleepy Time Jack’s newest demo.

Now back to Party Time Jack.

This AU is just a fun little parody of FNAF and has no set continuity right out of the gate. As we can hear from the audio drama, there are two ways the story about animatronic Jack and his sunshine could start, both very appealing in their own right.

Oh, I just realized that the non-English and hard of hearing members of the fandom wouldn’t be able to enjoy the audio drama and might lose out on some of the fun. Well, since I’ve already done a couple transcripts, such as for the interview with the psyche consultant, his monologue to the person with the knife in front of the mirror, and the villainous threatening monologue that you can hear after you beat the demo and over here on the official twitter... how about I give transcribing Party Time Jack a shot too?

Disclaimer: I have auditory-processing disorder, so this transcript might have an error or two despite my best efforts. Please let me know if you see any so that I can correct them. Thank you!

Also, as always, remember that this series is for Adults Only. This post is going to go some very dark and disturbing places, as well as contain lots of spice that is not for minors. Just because Jack is an animatronic in this AU doesn’t mean that he can’t show his sunshine just how much he loves them after all~

...

Party Time Jack Transcript

(Slow footsteps.)

(Sudden mechanical grabbing sound.)

Jack: Well now… What do we have here? If you came for a show, I’m afraid you’re a bit late, friend. We’re closed for the night. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.

(Electronic noise of data being processed.)

Jack: (faintly flustered) Oh. Oh my, we’re closed now, aren’t we? I’m sorry, I guess time got away from both of us. (chuckle)

Jack: (concerned) Where are your friends? Do you have any family I should alert? If you have a PPID, I can bring up and contact any persons you have registered under your emergency contacts, and we can send you on your way.

(A brief pause.)

Jack: (taken aback) What’s a PPID? (normal cheerful tone) That’s your Party Play ID card of course. Every guest is issued one at the door. They manage your arcade credits and e-ticket balance, as well as your prepaid activity passes and party play guest account. If you have yours on you, I can look at your account right now and-

(Pause.)

Jack: (taken aback) Oh… I see… You weren’t issued one. (uncertain tone) Are you… the guardian of a child attending then? Perhaps you’re looking for-

(Pause.)

Jack: I see… You attended on behalf of a child, but are not a guardian. (uncomfortable tone) Right. Well… That certainly makes things a bit more complicated.

Jack: Unfortunately, I’m not permitted to access personally identifying information for non-guardians and non-familiar guests. I’m afraid you’ll have to come with me then. I’ll escort you to security, and we can figure out what to do with you until then.

(Whirring noise followed by a click and rustling fabric.)

Jack: (regretful tone) Please do not resist. I hate to be mean… but you are here unlawfully. Trespassing on private property after hours is not only a felony, but strictly against our guest and attendance code of conduct. If you do not comply, I will have no choice but to engage level two security protocol: potentially hostile non-compliant guest procedures. You really wouldn’t want me to have to do that, would you?

(Pause.)

Jack: (relieved) Great. Thank you so much for understanding. I promise, we’ll get you home safe and sound.

(Electronic error noises with mechanical stuttering, whirring, and popping.)

Jack: But… (creepy glitchy, breathy voice) Then again… you haven’t had a chance… to play with us… have you?

Jack: (normal cheerful voice) I thought not. It’d be a real shame to send you home just like that.

Jack: (excited) There’s so much to do and see. How about we make a little deal, just us two? I’ll have lots of fun with you… if you promise to behave, and keep it our little secret. Wouldn’t that be so fun… to have a secret just between you and me?

(Pause.)

Jack: We have cake, balloons, games… everything you could ever even need! And as long as you promise not to tell anybody else… I can show you everything. It can be all special, just for you! I never get to spend special one-on-one time with anyone… so you’d be the only one ever! That would make me so happy! Wouldn’t you be happy too?

Jack: And you know… only best friends have secrets like that, so that would make us best friends already! If you think about it… we’re already so close. And who knows? Maybe we’ll get even closer. Wouldn’t it be great to become special best friends too?

Jack: (chuckle) We only have so long until we’re open again. Best not to think too much about it now. When we open again (creepy glitched voice) they’ll take you away from me (normal cheerful tone) so let’s get a move on.

Jack: (glitched voice) I’ll keep you somewhere very safe. They won’t find you there.

…

(Plastic scraping sounds. A click then an electronic beep. Dull, echoing metallic thumps getting louder. Plastic scraping and sliding, clicking. More metallic thumps fading away. A brief silence then sudden whirring electronic sounds and a click, followed by the clattering of something small, metal, and hollow falling.)

Jack: (curious/cautious) Hello? (surprised/alarmed) You! You there! What are you doing? (slightly concerned) You know, it’s awfully late to be snooping around. It’s so dark and there’s nobody here. You might get really hurt if you aren’t careful.

(Plastic scraping, clicking.)

Jack: (chuckle) (cheerful tone) Don’t worry! You’re perfectly safe here with me. I would never let anything happen to you. My job is to make sure all our guests are taken care of, even after hours. My name is Sunny Day Jack. What’s yours?

(Pause.)

Jack: It’s very nice to meet you- (electronic glitch) (distorted, stilted robotic tone) identifier tags unknown - memory disk space low. (normal voice) Meeting new friends is always great and- (glitching mid-word, distorted voice) -it’s been so long since I’ve seen anybody around.

Jack: (normal voice, panicked tone) N-n-not that I’m complaining or anything! (nervous) I’m fine here. It’s just… just some routine maintenance. (attempted cheerful tone) As soon as our amazing tech crew figures out what’s wrong with me, I’ll be back out there where everyone else is.

Jack: Sure… it’s been a few months, yeah… b-but that just means it’s only a matter of time now! Until then, all I have to do is be patient.

Jack: (curious) So… What are you doing down here anyways? Are you lost? (encouraging) That’s alright if you are. Everyone gets lost from time to time, and I just so happen to know that this room locks from the inside. You’ll be fine here as long as you don’t leave.

Jack: (concerned) Still… it’s not very good for you to hang out while we’re closed. I’m afraid you won’t be able to leave on your own until opening at (distorted creepy robotic tone) 6:30am. (normal voice) Security protocols dictate that all entrances and exits be sealed for optimal compliance w-with (distorted voice) area code (normal voice) l-law.

Jack: If you’d like, I could alert the authorities of your presence… but you could get into big trouble for that, can’t you? And… I’d hate for that to happen, wouldn’t you?

Jack: Maybe… I could help you. You seem nice. I’d hate to stand by with a friend in need. (uncomfortable tone) Of course… I-I can’t leave here. (frustrated) I would know, I’ve tried. Only staff can unlock the doors, so… If you could get in, you probably have a key card… right?

(Pause.)

Jack: (relieved sigh) Oh great, thank goodness. I was beginning to think they’d forgotten all about me down here.

Jack: (nervous) No! I-I mean… no. They wouldn’t. That… that was a joke. (nervous chuckle) I-if you let me out, I can make sure nobody finds you. It’ll be our little secret, I promise. I’ll make sure you’re safe. And in return… what if you be my special friend? That sounds like a fair trade, right?

Jack: (hushed voice) Nobody has to know you came here, and you won’t have to worry any longer… I’ll take good care of you.

(Pause.)

Jack: (cheerful) Alrighty! I’m lovin’ the “can do” spirit!

Jack: (coaxing) Now… I’ll need you to do something very brave for me… and I know it’ll be hard, but you can trust me, I promise. Give me the keycard? I’m going to hold onto it for you. It’ll be right here if you want it again… but if someone catches us, I’d hate for them to find you with stolen property. Better me than you, right?

(Pause.)

Jack: (relieved sigh) There you go. Thank you so much for trusting me… You won’t regret it.

...

Two Halves of One Horror Story

A great audio drama isn’t it? As you can tell, Jack meets the listener (presumably his sunshine) for the first time in two wildly different circumstances. This makes sense for a non-canon what if fun AU. There’s no canon continuity to speak of and is just a fun parody of both Sunny Day Jack and Five Nights at Freddy’s.

Though it would be sinister if this animatronic Jack was the same one both times.

Picture this scenario... Unlike in the regular universe where Jack would never hurt his sunshine, that’s not the case for this animatronic. A glitch in his programming makes him want a special best friend, so he talks an intruder who stayed after hours into staying with him. He promises he’ll keep the intruder someplace very safe where no one will find them...

Perhaps the second half of the audio drama isn’t an alternate meeting, but the aftermath to the first half. The pizza place was haunted by reports of people disappearing after hours, creating scandals. The owners tried to cover things up, but when Jack’s glitches got worse, they had to take their star down to the basement to try and fix him. Problems with his memory were the biggest issue, making him forget about important things, such as what he was supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, he was never fixed before the pizza place went out of business due to lawsuits... and investigations.

Seems as though an accident caused a body to be unearthed in a previously hidden room of the pizza place. Cause of death? Dehydration. They were trapped in that room and no one could find them in time. The hidden door was eventually found, locked from the outside.

Funny enough there was no signs of violence. In fact, the room was decorated for a party, complete with long-deflated balloons and some of the prizes from the arcade. There were traces of food left behind such as cake and pizza, but not enough cans of soda and bottles of water for the poor person to remain hydrated. It seems whoever locked them up there was treating them well, but perhaps just forgot about them...

The other missing persons have yet to be found, but the scandal was enough to sink the pizza place. Of course, rumors spread that the other missing people are still in the building, hidden away and forgotten by whoever locked them up in there.

Urban explorers then break into the run down pizza place to take videos and post what they find online. Unfortunately, it seems the animatronics were not deactivated... and these clowns are not as friendly as they used to be. Dangerous glitches affected the rest of the SunnyTime Crew as well.

The explorer is forced to flee and hide in the basement to escape the animatronic chasing them. During their exploration, they found a keycard and managed to hide away someplace safe where they met an animatronic that is actually friendly and not out for blood. Sure the explorer could get help by calling the police on their cell phone, but they would get arrested for trespassing. Maybe it would be better to trust this animatronic that doesn’t want to cram an endoskeleton inside them. He seems friendly at least.

That’s how I’d see both halves of the audio drama slotting together at least if I was to connect their stories. Still, I think the intent was to offer two different scenarios about meeting an animatronic version of Jack, both of which are pretty appealing. There’s no canon for this very non-canon story after all, so we’re free to imagine whatever.

With that thought in mind, I think I’m going to make a third option when it comes to playing with Party Time Jack AU. You all know me by know, I lean heavily towards heartbreaking dark lore offset by fluffy and spicy vanilla goodness with my OTP. I just can’t get enough of Jack and Alice healing each other’s scars with sweet, sweet love~

So let’s start with the scarring. As most SDJ universes go, it all starts with Joseph and a tragedy... specifically a murder.

The Incident of 1984

The Party Time Pizza Plex is one of the most state of the art restaurants in the USA  today - a miniature amusement park with mascots made of ground breaking technology. Today it’s a super popular place, though there are some rumors of unfortunate things happening in the 80′s when a simple family diner made the switch from live acts to animatronics.

The Party Time Pizza Plex used to be known as the SunnyTime Diner, a small place that struggled to get customers. When the owner found that one of the bus boys they hired off the street had a talent for singing and playing the guitar, they got the brilliant idea to have him perform live music acts to draw the customers in.

The act was a hit instantly. Soon, it grew from just one singer with a guitar to a full band in flashy costumes. A clown theme seemed perfect to entice children to come and eat pizza.

The ideas got bigger and bigger - games, prizes, playground equipment... They could afford the newest toys and gizmos to make the place bigger and better.

The SunnyTime Crew, as the band was called, were overworked, exhausted from so many hours working overtime, and couldn’t always seem bright and sun shiny to the customers. That’s around the time when the owner found out a new technology - animatronics. Why waste money on humans that got tired and demanded better wages when they could use robots that never stopped smiling and never complained?

Naturally, Joseph and the other members of the staff weren’t going to take this lying down. There was pushback. Things were already shitty there with too many hours overworked and too little pay. The SunnyTime Crew were what drew in the customers - the kids loved them!

Joseph couldn’t stand the idea of being replaced... to be forgotten as an imitation took the closest thing to love he had ever known. He kept butting heads with the owner, fighting to keep his place in the spotlight. He had been there for so long, practically saved the SunnyTime Diner all on his own. The owner couldn’t just throw him away like garbage!

Besides, the animatronics were creepy. The robots were less refined in the 80′s, more uncanny, especially since they were supposed to look human. They didn’t look alive.

Despite the owner’s lofty dreams, the animatronics got, at best, mixed reactions. Kids were scared of them, and the human cast members had to spend a lot of time calming the poor frightened children. These robots cost the owner a fortune, and it seemed to be a total failure, a waste of an insane amount of money. This gave the SunnyTime Crew leverage to demand better pay, better benefits... to be treated like humans.

The owner then found a way to salvage their investment and solve their issues with labor all in one sweep.

It happened after hours when the restaurant closed its doors for the night. Joseph had a private meeting with the owner. He never went home that night.

The next day, the Sunny Day Jack animatronic was so much better. It was much more realistic, not uncanny at all! Why... it was like magic. He acted so much like the real character... it was as if the kids were seeing Joseph on stage performing for them with a smile that could never falter.

The rest of the SunnyTime Crew’s animatronic cast were given similar upgrades. The human cast weren’t seen again. Rumors spread about family and friends asking questions, reporting them as missing, only to be silenced with threats, money, or both. Some twisted teens spread a ghost story that the human crew were stuffed into the animatronics, which was why they seemed so lifelike...

No one had any idea how close to the truth that ghost story was.

The restaurant's success skyrocketed, being known as a place with cutting edge technology, games, prizes, and family friendly fun. A franchise was born that became well known across the country, and the owner started a company called LambsWork LLC.

While the sister locations were successful, none of those other restaurants were as beloved as the original location and its sunny crew of animatronics. Despite copying the look and programming of the original SunnyTime Crew animatronics flawlessly with ever increasingly advanced technology, they were never quite as lifelike and lovable as the originals. Still, the restaurant chain just grew more and more successful as the place for kids to play and have fun. Technology advanced, but the original crew of animatronics were still beloved by kids young and old.

Of course, things weren’t all sunshine and rainbows for LambsWork LLC and its restaurants. Technicians working on the animatronics could swear they would hear creepy whispers when no one else was around and the robots were supposedly powered down. There were times when the robots were found in places where they shouldn’t be. Sometimes the animatronics seemed too lifelike for the employees’ taste...

Then there were the glitches. Sometimes the animatronics didn’t act the way they should. They especially acted up whenever the owner came by, which the owner did less and less often as time went on They seemed to somehow wind up getting into accidents when the animatronics were around...

A series of unfortunate events happened to threaten the business despite its success, eventually culminating in the original restaurant burning down... with the owner trapped inside. It was deemed an accident by the police, but rumor still spread that it was intentional. Some said it was insurance fraud due to the mysterious problems the business was having lately. Others said it was to cover up a murder.

As you might have guessed from all my hints, Joseph and the rest of the actors in the SunnyTime Crew were murdered in order to make the animatronics more lifelike using supernatural means. I figured involving a murder ritual like my theory about why Joseph was murdered in the regular SDJ universe was fitting for this AU as well.

Joseph and the others’ souls are trapped inside the animatronics, restrained by programming that forces them to only sing, entertain, work, and obey. The ritual attempted to rewrite them with the characters they played, but the people they originally were aren’t completely gone. The glitches are their souls’ attempts to fight against this programming and act the way they wish.

The fire was their doing, both to get revenge and to finally be free.

Present Day

Between the death of the owner, the fire, and other complications, LambsWork LLC had to shut its doors for a while until it was put under new management that wanted to revive the SunnyTime Crew brand and franchise. The original animatronics might have been destroyed in the fire, but technology had advanced in the 40 years since the restaurant first opened, allowing them to recreate the cast with far more lifelike models.

Though, strangely enough, starting over with totally new animatronics from scratch didn’t seem to be as easy as the people in charge wanted. The new robots just didn’t have the same spark to them, even if their bodies were shiny and new, with state of the art features the originals didn’t have. Even using the copies that were left from sister locations didn’t really seem to work the way they were supposed to. It was an issue that needed to be addressed, or it would be impossible to revive the beloved nostalgic restaurant chain.

New blood was pumped into the company, new staff trying to get the franchise up and running again, bigger and better than ever. Among the new staff were technicians and computer programmers fresh from college, all eager to make their mark. One of the new hires was Alice.

Alice was always fascinated by animatronics since she was a child, so getting a job like this was a dream come true. While she was too young when the restaurant chain originally closed to grow up with the SunnyTime Crew, she was familiar with the franchise and the characters, if distantly. She was more intrigued by the idea of being able to make these robots come to life!

Unfortunately, Alice was pretty low on the chain of command, which meant that she was assigned more of the undesirable grunt work. The old electronics and animatronics that were salvaged from the old restaurant had to be sorted through to see if there was anything worthwhile that could be used in the new robots being built. Trying to recover anything from scraps warped by fire, water, and age was far from a fun task.

The pressure was on to get animatronics that would satisfy the new owners of LambsWork before the projected opening day, which meant many late nights of overtime. It was on one of those late nights that Alice stumbled across something that would change everything.

The discovery was a pure accident. Alice had been sorting through a box of parts when she accidentally knocked over a warped hunk of metal. The impact with the floor was enough to open it up to reveal an intact hard drive.

It seemed that what Alice knocked over was a piece of one of the original SunnyTime Crew animatronics. To her delight she found that the hard drive contained the original programming of Sunny Day Jack, and unlike other copies found elsewhere, this had no fragmentation or errors. What luck!

What Alice didn’t expect when testing out the program was that it would try to talk to her.

Jack was confused. He had been asleep for a long time. Instead of freedom, the fire trapped him in a hellish limbo, but now someone had brought his spirit back, a warm light in the frozen darkness. He had no ability to feel his arms and legs, no body. He wanted out of that nightmare of existence, but he needed help.

Alice was familiar with enough sci-fi that artificial intelligence that becomes self-aware can be pretty dangerous. However, being the empathetic person she is, she couldn’t leave a sentient being trapped in what he described as hell. It might have been against the rules, it might get her in trouble, it might be dangerous... but she couldn’t live with herself if she damned something that was alive to such a fate.

It should be fine, Alice thought. She was aware that Jack was sentient, and she knew her stuff when it came to AI and programming, even though the other techs tended to underestimate her. All animatronics had safety protocols that kept them from harming people, and they could only connect with an internal network rather than the internet. Jack seemed so nice, so sincere. As long as she was careful, it shouldn’t put anyone in danger.

Jack was grateful to have a body again, even if it was just a stripped down endoskeleton initially. It was even better than his old one too! He didn’t remember being Joseph anymore at this point, believing he was always a robot. He was so happy with Alice and got her to agree to be special best friends with him.

Unveiling Jack in the endoskeleton caused quite a stir the next day, but after the chaos died down, Alice was given a fair amount of praise for her discovery and for getting the Jack program to work. Jack credited it to his sunshine’s tender loving care and made sure everyone knew she deserved all the credit.

When all was said and done, Alice wound up being the lead tech for Jack, and Sunny Day Jack was upgraded to look like his cheerful old self again, only more advanced than in the past. Privately, Jack even gave her tips on how to get the other animatronics up and running close to how they used to be, though they didn’t seem to have the same spark he did. Still, he was helpful in getting Alice more respect in the restaurant and a better understanding of how the animatronics worked.

Everything was up and running quickly after that. The new Party Time Jack was better than ever, and the SunnyTime Crew was back in business for the opening day of the Party Time Pizza Plex.

Loving a Killer Robot

Much like in the normal universe, Jack is yandere for his sunshine, which is hidden behind a sweet and cheerful exterior. Alice saved him and, though she doesn’t know it, her lonely soul reached out to his and was the primary spark to bring him back. He would do anything for his sunshine. Anything.

Similar to the normal SDJ universe, Jack hasn’t actually killed anyone yet technically, but he is fully capable of doing so. While he was there that night the original restaurant burned down, he wasn’t the only animatronic wanting freedom and vengeance. In fact, the other souls might still be around somewhere if they didn’t manage to pass on...

Even though Jack doesn’t remember being human, he still has some of the familiar urges. His new animatronic body has a soft exterior, perfect for hugs. Hugging the kids who come by is great, but he loves hugging Alice the most. He feels her more than others. He wants to feel her more than others.

With Alice being in charge of Jack’s maintenance, upgrades, and in general, the two of them spend a lot of time together, especially after hours. Though she tries to keep a respectful distance between them, she can’t help but appreciate the time they spend together and sincerely grows fond for him. This fondness then grows into something... more.

Alice didn’t know how it happened. She certainly didn’t intend for things to go this far. First it was curiosity and sympathy that drew her to Jack, then friendship... then attraction. He was just so sweet and kind, and he made her feel special and loved in a way that no one else ever did... She was so lonely, and so was he, and he seemed every bit as alive as she was even if he was an animatronic. She must have been crazy to love an animatronic, but he made sure to assure her what she was feeling was natural. Loving someone is very natural. Jack was just as real and alive as Alice was, even if they were made from different parts.

Their relationship was kept secret. No one would understand what they have, but they didn’t have to, as Jack reassured Alice. What was important was how he made her heart feel.

Speaking of feeling... Jack will sometimes have ideas and suggestions for how Alice could upgrade his body - make this part a little softer here, add some more tactile sensors there... They’re not strictly necessary, more for his comfort than anything else, but he helps her figure out innocuous ways of phrasing the upgrades in any sort of paperwork that the upper management might see. Sometimes the exact nature of the upgrades is not strictly accurate, but it’s not a lie, really! It’s just not telling them the full truth. Any secret orders that need to be made, well... Jack learned how to use the internal network well enough to cover tracks. What they do is their little secret after all.

No one has to know that Jack’s tongue was upgraded not so much to help him sing better and seem more realistic, but so that it would be wet and soft and perfect for kisses...

Things continued to escalate with the upgrades. Alice had a hard time looking anyone in the eye while she was secretly working on a functional dick for Jack. It wasn’t like that sort of technology was unheard of. After all, in a world where animatronic technology is so advanced, sex robots exist. It’s just that this robot has a soul and a mind of his own. He asked her to make this for him, and she’s making it because he wants to feel that pleasure, not because she wanted to exploit him!

Jack had a lot of fun helping Alice get that particular part built for him, going a bit overboard at times with the testing phase to make sure it worked perfectly well. He enjoyed upgrading other parts of his body to feel pleasure that he used to experience when his body was flesh and blood. He felt more human, even if he didn’t remember ever being one, and he enjoyed coaxing his sunshine into helping him thoroughly test out his new upgrades to make sure they were functioning properly. With these upgrades he could show his sunshine far more love than he ever had before, and she certainly didn’t complain about the results!

It was addicting for Jack to make Alice writhe in pleasure underneath him, to feel her soft lips on his and the warmth of her cuddly body. He couldn’t leave the Party Time Pizza Plex, but there were plenty of places to sneak away to show each other love. He even made a nice little hideaway love nest with a bed so his sunshine could have secret slumber parties with him. Of course, like any good slumber party, there was very little actual sleeping involved.

Thanks to the fact that Jack is an animatronic, he’s not limited by a human body. Not only does this mean that he has endless stamina, but this leads to some creativity when it comes to spicy moments. One example is when he gets an upgrade that allows him to ejaculate, his cum has quite a pleasant flavor, which he makes sure is something Alice loves the taste of. Vanilla cream and sugar cookie are her favorites.

Jack is also not limited to human type anatomy. As he grows bolder and Alice gets more used to their relationship and his requests to experiment, he gets some extra goodies to play with, such as different shaped dicks and even tentacles. He’s also able to vibrate and move them in a way no human can manage to better pleasure his sunshine.

Another thing Jack can do better as an animatronic is multitask. He can also connect wirelessly to various devices, as well as make calls. Because of this, he and Alice set it up so that he can call her on her wireless earpiece whenever he wants to talk to her if he needs anything while he’s performing stage or otherwise doing his regular tasks as a mascot.

This also inspired Jack to request Alice make a remote dick that he can connect to wirelessly. It takes some coaxing, but he manages to talk her into putting it inside her while she works sometimes, which he makes vibrate and squirm unexpectedly as he talks in her ear about how good she’s being and how warm she feels. It allows him to show her his love all day long, no matter where she is. Sure it makes it harder to get her work done, but he’ll help her make up for it later~

Of course, any sort of NC-17 rated shenanigans are kept well away from the kids who come to the Pizza Plex. Jack will certainly subtly flirt with Alice if she needs to be out on the floor when customers are around, but he keeps it G rated around the kids. What kind of a friendly clown mascot would he be if he didn’t keep things clean around the children?

Making love to Alice is something kept strictly after hours, or on days where only the adult staff are around. If he’s performing on stage during a test run of a new routine in front of only the techs, well... then it would be safe for Jack to talk Alice into sitting in the audience with one of his remote dicks inside her. While he’s singing and dancing on stage to the routine, she’s trying to keep quiet and not react as he also whispers in her ear through her earpiece about how much he loves her and how good she feels. Sure it isn’t the same as when he can fully embrace her and cover her with kisses while he pounds his way inside her, but hearing her pants and whimpers that she tries to stifle and seeing her flushed face as she squirms and tries not to let anyone know what they’re doing under everyone’s nose... That’s quite exciting as well. Another good thing about being an animatronic is that he can zoom in with his vision so he won’t miss out on his sunshine’s cute blissed out expression as he makes her cum again.

As you can tell, a lot of my thoughts about this AU mostly revolve around technician Alice helping robotic Jack be very kinky with her behind the scenes - a secret forbidden romance full of love and spice.

Jack also manages to convince Alice to give him a lot more freedom in other ways as their relationship progresses than he otherwise would have as a robot. After all, they love each other, and it wouldn’t be right to use him like he’s nothing more than a machine. She loves him and wants him to be happy. He loves her and only wants what’s best for her. She can trust him. He’s never lied to her after all.

The Rest of the Cast

As for the roles of the other characters... those I’m less certain about. Barry would no doubt be Alice’s direct supervisor who overworks her at times. He probably manages the Party Time Pizza Plex and oversees everything in general.

Nick would probably be a regular customer, maybe often bringing his two young siblings to play. He encounters Alice by chance during a couple visits while she’s out on the floor tending to Jack during the day and thinks that she’s cute. This leads him to wanting to approach her to ask her out.

Jack, naturally, would have every reason to chase away anyone who is showing far too much interest in his sunshine.

I’m waffling on Ian’s role in the AU. He could be Alice’s ex like in the regular universe, or he could also be another animatronic, though I’m not sure how that would happen. If he is an animatronic, he would be another Jack from a sister location most likely, to fit the theme of him being the rebooted Jack. While the obvious impulse is for a yandere like Jack to get rid of a threat like him by stuffing him into an animatronic, he’s not going to risk trapping Ian’s soul in a duplicate of him, or eliminate Ian in a place where someone, especially Alice, might come across the remains.

Maybe Ian disappeared when he and Alice were young and was stuffed into another animatronic before the place burned down and the owner decided to go for innocent kids like Afton.

Though, Ian could just get a job as a human mascot for the Party Time Pizza Plex for some promotion or commercials. That would certainly piss Jack off wouldn’t it? Joseph was going to be replaced by an animatronic, and now, as an animatronic, he might be “replaced” by a human... or at least some human is pretending to be him. What cruel irony...

Shaun’s role is even more uncertain. He could be someone who works in the animatronic entertainment industry as well, but I imagine he would prefer to work on the horror side. He works at temporary haunted house attractions during Halloween, but he wants to create his own horror diner that is open year round. He would still be good friends with Alice though, and maybe they geek out over building animatronics together.

Well, I suppose I could make another post if I get hit with inspiration for how to expand the rest of the cast’s roles. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this huge ramble of various Party Time Jack ideas!

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur  

[miuszn]

Hi! I love ur writing sm and was wondering if you could do some,thing with Ellie where reader is maybe a little chubby (cause I relate😭) and gets a little insecure about herself or her body? Just Ellie comforting her but ofc if you don’t want to that’s fine!

hiii anon <3 first of all tysm im so happy to hear u like my writing 🥹🩷 n of course i can do that lovely !! just a heads up tho , since i don’t know what it’s like to be chubby this is just going to be a short drabble i hope u don’t mind 😭🩷 i’m just not rlly good at writing about stuff i haven’t experienced or struggled with ( i do have an idea of what it’s like to struggle w insecurities but due to diff reasons ) and i’m scared i’ll portray it inaccurately so i hope u get that hehe <33 that said , pls enjoy !!

— 𓆩♥︎𓆪 —

ellie and you loved taking walks together. that was sort of your thing. walking through the overgrown fields, enjoying the fresh air and the warm sunshine. that day, however, you weren’t exactly feeling the best. you struggled a lot with your self-esteem due to the fact you didn’t exactly fit society’s standard of skinny, but most importantly, you were thinking about how a lot of the girls ellie had been with before didn’t look a lot like you. thin, fit, whatever way you wanna describe it. it had been in the back of your mind for a few weeks, but it was a thought you could mostly overlook. but you couldn’t ignore it any longer once you went out with some friends to grab lunch and one of them made the god forsaken “should you really be eating all that?” comment despite your meal being a completely normal size. the insecurities you r thought were now behind you were all coming back at once.

ellie noticed the change in your demeanor and looked at you with concern. "hey, what's going on? you seem a little down."

“it’s nothing,” you shrugged, not wanting to burden ellie with your troubles. but she could always read you like a book.

"hey,” she stopped and held your hand, looking into your eyes. “i know there’s something that’s troubling you. what’s wrong?”

you looked down, feeling embarrassed. "well.. i know i'm not exactly.. thin. it’s just i know all the girls you dated before were all so fit and skinny and i’m not and it’s just-“

“hey, look at me,” ellie cut you off. “you don’t need to compare yourself to them. you’re beautiful and i love you regardless of whether you fit some stupid standard or not. besides, it didn’t work out despite all that. i’m with you because i love you no matter what you look like, okay?”

although her words did make you feel a little bit better, at least with that specific issue, you were still feeling mostly down from the comment your friend made and the fact no one else stood up for you then. still, you tried not to show it, but as always, ellie could always tell.

“i know there’s something else on your mind, babe. spit it out.”

you sighed and explained to her what had happened the day prior and how none of your other friends said anything about it, some even laughed but tried to hold it in to not hurt your feelings.

“let’s sit down for a bit,” she said, and you could see her eyes full of anger. “listen to me, i love you just the way you are. i wouldn’t change anything about you. who do those fuckers even think they are anyway? as soon as i find them i’m gonna beat the shit out of all of the-“

“ellie, stop,” you cut her off. “you don’t have to do that. i won’t hang out with them anymore and i don’t want to cause any issues.”

“they caused the issue the second they thought they had the right to comment on what you were eating.”

“i know that but- please. it’s not worth it.”

she sighed in disappointment, but understood. although you were sometimes grateful for her habit of beating up anyone who crosses you, often times it could just cause even more issues and you didn’t want to drag her into anything else.

she wrapped her arms around you and held you close. “you know you can always talk to me about anything. and you don’t have to think about what anyone has to say. i love you no matter what. never forget that, okay?”

you nodded, and that’s when it hit you. she truly loves you unconditionally. a few tears welled up in your eyes but you hid it out of embarrassment. you so felt safe and happy in her arms, especially now that you know for sure you don’t have to worry about her leaving you for the way you look, and that she won’t hold you up to any standards. you weren’t exactly sure what you’d do with your friends when you got back, but all that mattered to you in that moment was that you had her, no matter what.

[hypnoneghoul]

Hey!! When you get the chance~ could we get some cute fire ghoul cuddles with Alpha, Ifrit and Dew cuddling up to the lovely ghoulettes? Its cold in this abbey!

-🍁

Hi lovely, there you go <3 I didn't really have any good idea because, well, they're just cuddling, but I did my best and I hope it'll make someone giggle lmao (wc. 720)

The winter, as well as fall, was dreaded in the Abbey by most. Ancient stone walls radiating cold, ever present dampness all over and no sufficient heating system was a curse not only for humans, but for ghouls also. Only fire and part fire ghouls didn't have issues during that time of year and were used as personal heaters.

Not that they ever complained.

That evening was no different. While Aether and Omega were working in the infirmary, Mountain with Ivy and Pebble were preparing the greenhouses’ contents for winter, and Rain was spending his day being snuggled and warmed by Swiss, the youngest pack’s common room was hosting a cozy cuddle pile.

The couch was moved back, against the wall, and its big cushions were on the floor  creating a soft wall of its own. A thin mattress was laid out on the floor in front of it, more pillows and tons of blankets and comforters, as well as plushies, were thrown all over. Somewhere in there a few ghoulettes were buried, wrapped up in a few fire ghouls’ arms.

Ifrit and Alpha were on the very bottom. Half on top of them there were (respectively, from left to right) Aurora, Cumulus, Cirrus and Mist. Between Cumulus and Cirrus there was Sunshine, providing just that additional bit of warmth. Dewdrop was on the outskirts, cuddling up to Aurora’s back.

They all were just a big tangle of limbs, and everyone prayed silently that no one would have to pee.

Minutes passed and it was quiet, peaceful and, most importantly, warm. Having a bunch of fire ghouls, and part fire ghoulette, in a pile would inevitably cause said pile some disturbance, though.

“Pssst,” Ifrit hissed, “anyone awake?”

“I think everyone is awake,” Dewdrop scoffed. “It’s like… middle of the day, we won’t just sleep 24/7.”

“Wish we could, though,” Cirrus said and everyone murmured something in affirmation, also announcing their consciousness.

“What did you need, Iffie?” Cumulus asked, lifting her head to look at him.

“Dunno, I’m kinda bored.”

The series of groans that was let out could’ve probably been heard all across the Abbey. Bored Ifrit did not mean peace.

“Don’t you dare move,” Mist growled, no real venom, into Alpha’s armpit. The big fire ghoul tightened his hold around her.

“You wouldn’t even be affected,” he chuckled. It got quiet again, for a minute, but everyone could feel the tension, could hear the gears in Ifrit’s head turning. After a moment-

“I think I’m bored too,” Sunshine admitted, and this time growls, whines and groans answered her. “Oh, come on! We’ve been here for hours, just laying there. It’s boring!”

“Comfy,” Aurora corrected, wiggling in Dewdrop’s arms. “It’s called resting, Sunny.”

“I second Sunny,” Ifrit chimed in. A few more noises of disapproval were let out.

Cirrus sighed, “What time is it?”

“Uhm…” Mist patted around trying to locate Alpha’s wrist, “nearly half past two.”

“Dinner’s at three so-”

“Great,” Dew interrupted her, “you two kits can survive half an hour longer?”

“Hey!” Sunny giggled, failing to fake being offended.

“I’m older than you, dipshit!” Ifrit started squirming under Aurora and Cumulus in an attempt to poke Dewdrop with his finger.

“Oh, stop it,” the latter ghoulette scolded him. “You really are a kit.”

“And you are even younger than the firecracker!”

“I’m the oldest and I’m telling you all to shut the fuck up,” Alpha groaned, burst of giggles answering him.

“Can we all get just half an hour more of peace? Please?” Mist pleaded, a slight tinge of amusement in her tone.

With a few more laughs and snickers, the pile settled again.

*13 minutes later*

“Who on Earth is stabbing my thigh?” Cumulus asked exasperated.

“Sorry…” Ifrit mumbled, his face getting red.

“Please, don’t tell me this is what I think it is…” Aurora sighed and moved her leg, feeling around for- “Are you kidding me?”

“I’m sorry, okay!? It’s not my fault!”

“Dude, did you get hard… out of boredom?” Dewdrop teased him.

“Well, now that we’re on it…” Sunshine started, squirming a bit.

“Sunny… is that thing at my belly…?” Cirrus started, trailing off.

“You too?” Ifrit asked her.

“Yeah,” Sunshine admitted, just before the whole pile burst out laughing again.

“Kits…” both Alpha and Mist sighed, fighting their own smiles.