#but maybe I should just let myself be reborn already.

[armedwithapencilandpaper]

just finished exocolon*st for the first time and. ough. ow. ugh. urgh. hurts

[lunamochii]

Side Chick || Jake Sully x avatar!fem reader smut

Synopsis; You are one of the few scientists that stayed and is loyal to the na’vi. But maybe not? Since Jake still comes to you in the early morning, afternoon, and midnight.

warning; implied poly relationship, dom jake, jake not letting you out of his grasp, smut, not proofread.

note; feedbacks + reblogs are highly appreciated!

repost because it got taken down (:

Years have passed and you’ve watch the Pandora get back to what it’s used to be and you have been loving living in your new body. Standing at the death door, you were reborn from a human to being one of the people. Although sometimes you don’t really feel like it. Especially with Jake coming to you even though he already has Neytiri.

“Somebody will find us..”

Bodies press together your arms clinging on his shoulder as he move his hips. Letting out a groan he came in your hands, lips crashing to each other. You can only moan between the kisses. Your body sprawled out on the luminescent grass, Jake move away from you and your eyes drop at your hands that is covered by his cum. He smirk at you and give both of your nipples a tight squeeze making you moan

“I don’t like how Tarsem stares at you.” Rolling your eyes you push him off and sat up

“So what? This relationship of ours will end soon once Neytiri conceives your child.”

You saw how his eyes darkened making you gulp as you hurriedly stood up. Knowing what you guys do whenever he takes you out for ‘hunting’ you’ll be deem as a traitor if the clan finds out. God help you if Neytiri finds out, a arrow will be stuck at your skull.

“You think I’ll let you run away from me?”

Jake stood up and grab you with full force on the arm, you wince in pain and tried to get away from his grip but he grip it tighter and stare at you directly on the eyes.

“You owe me your life. If not for me, you’ll be long dead now Y/N.”

“Then you should have left me dead!”

You yelled and grab your arm away from him and ran away from there. Calling for your ikran, you quickly got on and fly away. Landing on the camp you are greeted by Neytiri who greeted you before smiling, you did the same and excuse yourself. Your conscience is eating you and the thought of having a chitchat with his woman is making your insides curl, you feel like throwing up.

Night came and the clan gathered all together to share the animals they have hunt, Tarsem, as always giving you looks but before you can even sit down beside the man. Jake came and sat down glaring hard at him you huff and walk towards Norm who is on his avatar form. He notice your change of attitude and decided to pry

“What happen to your ‘finding mate 101’?”

“Oh please, if only I can strangle that man.”

You replied with gritted teeth and Norm laugh knowing full well what and who you meant by that. Back in the days you and Jake have a thing going on but he got closer to the omatikaya clan leader’s daughter which is Neytiri, leaving you with a broken heart. So when you became one of the people you made it your goal to move on from him and try to find yourself a mate. If that bastard will let you which he don’t.

“One day, I will run away. Cause’ fuck it!”

You exclaimed gaining few looks and you just smiled awkwardly so they can go back to their business, it was a long night and once done, you decided to go to your hammock. Just when you were so close something or someone grab you, looking at the side you found Jake smirking at you.

“What now? Can’t I have this night all to myself?”

He snickered and shush you as he drag you to where Eywa knows, you guys stop at a big tree. Your brow shot up recognizing it’s the Tree of Voices. You watch him walk and connected his queue to the tree.

“Connect yours, you will be amaze.”

“Tsk, I’ve already done this.”

You saw him tense but he didn’t look at you, playing it cool.

“With who?”

It was now your turn to have a smirk plastered on your face, sometimes you miss on playing with him. You walk towards him and let your fingers dance on his back as you whisper him the name he hates to hear

“Tarsem”

Jake disconnected his queue and turn around to look at you, seeing you smirking at him it only made his blood boil, grabbing you by your neck he crash his lips to yours and when you didn’t respond he look at you.

“What were you guys doing here?”

“Oh nothing~ I even thought we would mate.”

Playing with his braids he let out a growl and put his hands over your hips, pulling you closer to him your breast press against his chest, you can feel your nipple get hard as he shower your neck with kisses.

“Doing this with you feels like a sin. I’m already a sinner so why not we get this over with?”

You said and the man before you smiled as if he just won a another war against the sky people not knowing this’ll be your last with him. Deciding to run away, leave him here. You will completely banish from his sight.

‘I’m sorry Jake..’

You said at the back of your mind as you kiss him back, letting him use your body as he like. Hands cupping your breast as you grind on his crotch, his back leaning on a big root you got rid of your loincloth and cups his face and deepened the kiss. Moaning into the kiss, Jake grip your hips as he slid his finger down and rub your clit making you moan. Moving away from his lips you trail your kisses down to his neck leaving wet kisses, being careful not to leave a hickey. You can already feel him getting hard so you press your bare cunt more making his own loincloth wet from your juices.

“Ride me?”

“Hell yeah.”

Lowering yourself down you bit your lower lip as you suppressed the moan that is trying to escape from your lips, Jake let out a groan when you finally bottom out and your head resting on his shoulder. His strong arms wrap around your hips as he guided you. Up and down, your breast bouncing with each thrust, you put one hand on his shoulder and the other one on his thigh as you close your eyes and throw your head back.

“Oh god! Harder Jake! Harder!”

“Shit!”

Curse words comes out from your mouth as he grab your other hand to have both of it wrap around his neck as he stood up, your legs cross on his back as he captured your lips and kiss you fervently. Slapping your ass from time to time loving how you clench around his cock. Your moans spilling out from your lips as he move faster and harder, slamming his cock deep down inside you.

“I’m gonna cum… hmm let me cum inside you princess?”

“N-No… not inside…”

He hiss and bit on your shoulder making you yelp as he move his hips sloppily and when he is near he pulled out and his cum spilled over the ground as he moan out your name. Your half lidded eyes stares at him as he kiss your forehead and put you down

“Put your hands over there baby, let me fuck you from behind.”

Nodding your head you did what he told you to, he grip your ass cheeks before slipping his cock inside you. Immediately your legs trembled as he didn’t waste any time and ram you. Hard and fast. Jake is not dumb, he knows you will leave him tomorrow. He had enough with people leaving him there’s no way he will let you out of his grasp. Not when your pussy is sucking his cock this much. Avoiding your braid he yank your hair and lick your cheeks, he left visible hickeys on your neck and reaches your clit with his free hand.

“If you do that I- Jake! Hmf!”

“Cum for me. Cum for me sweetheart!”

“ma Jake!”

Hearing those words comes out from your mouth his left with no choice but to plant his seed inside you, there was no rule in the clan where the olo��eyktan or whoever it is to have one more wife. Pretty sure Neytiri will understand. Ofcourse his lovely first wife will understand. Who wouldn’t love you?

“That’s it. Cum in my cock. Shit, I’ll cum inside you.”

“What?! N-No! Jake!”

Jake inserted two fingers inside your mouth and fucks you with it, he let out a satisfied groan when he felt you cum in his cock and not seconds later he followed. Your eyes widening feeling the warmth inside you, he move his hips sloppily making sure his cum stays inside you. Pulling his fingers and his cock out of you, he watch you drop on the ground. You glared at him and he only smiled sweetly at you, he got down to your level and cup your cheeks

“There’s no escape Y/N. My seed is in you, pretty sure you are bearing my child now.”

“How dare you…”

Your eyes watered and his quick to kiss it away as he cage you into his arms, pulling you on to his lap as he grab your hands and makes you rub his still rock hard cock. He sniff your scent and lick the bite marks he left on your neck. No matter what you do, what you plan, he won’t let you run away from him. You’re his and will forever always will be.

“You called me ‘ma Jake’. Pretty sure you love me..”

“It was just..”

You can’t properly form your words as he started to play with you clit, flinching at his touch and seeing it he let out a chuckle

“Just what?”

You gulp when he inserted two fingers inside you, your hips shaking as he slowly pump it in and out of you. A moan escape and Jake took it as a chance to kiss you torridly and when pull away a string of saliva is seen connecting your lips with his.

“Fine! I’ll be your side chick forever!”

Jake laugh out loud and once when his over with it, he smiled and pulled you closer than ever. You can hear his heartbeat and it’s fast. He kiss your lips once more before sliding his cock inside you again for the third time.

“Don’t worry ma Y/N. You’ll be known as my wife soon.”

[ikeprinces-stuff]

[𝐵𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑠]

Fandom : ikemen prince (Prince OC X Reader)

Word count : 4k.. again..

People who might appreciate the fic : @reborn-elven-spirit @chirp-a-chirp @queengiuliettafirstlady @citrusmornings @colourless-hydrangeas

Other Vernard fics : Leon , Yves , Chevalier , Jin & Clavis , Nokto , Luke

A/N : It was supposed to be December 7th but *looks at calendar* Ugh I can't believe it... Anyway... As my little sister said, "it's the idea that counts"... Wait no she didn't say that... She said "just leave it for next year"... Dammit!!! Hope y'all enjoy! HAPPY (literally belated) BIRTHDAY VERNARD MÜRRISCH

[𝐵𝑒𝑡𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑛𝑠]

As December settled in with its frosty breath, I felt the chill creeping into the very stones of the palace. The colder days brought with them an avalanche of responsibilities for me, Belle, and I couldn’t shake the idea that perhaps a bit of movement around the palace might fight off the chill lingering in my bones.

With a determined stride, I made my way to Sariel’s office, reports in hand. “Here are all the reports from the two factions over the past few days,” I announced, placing the neatly organized stack on his desk. Sariel, his brow furrowed in concentration, took his time perusing the documents.

“Good work,” he finally commented, his voice warm amidst the cool air. “You’ve earned the rest of the day off.”

(Yes!)

My heart leaped at the unexpected gift of time. Sariel’s keen eyes caught my buoyant energy, and I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of awareness at his scrutiny. “You seem particularly lively today. I’m not implying you shouldn’t be, but it does pique my curiosity,” he remarked with a hint of amusement.

(Oh, he noticed...)

“Well, I have something in mind that I plan to do once my duties are complete; maybe that’s the source of my energy,” I confessed, a spark of excitement igniting within me.

(Ah, I should get started immediately!)

Sariel smiled knowingly, his expression suggesting he understood more than I let on. “Very well then. I hope you manage to pull it off, though I suspect it won’t be a walk in the park.”

His knowing grin lingered, and for a moment, I found myself transfixed by the subtle challenge in his gaze

(Wait… does he somehow know my intention? Trust Sariel to have a read on my thoughts…)

With a determined nod, I exited his office, my mind racing with possibilities.

(Where do I even begin? I’ve already scoured the Domestic Faction office with no success, and the Political Faction was equally unyielding. I’ve heard whispers that the palace library is seldom frequented, so that leads me to... the training ground!)

I swiftly gathered my thoughts, excitement bubbling within me as I made my way to where the soldiers honed their skills. Perhaps in that bustling place, I might uncover a vital clue.

“Not here either...?”

The training ground was alive with the sounds of soldiers hard at work, as the domestic faction members put them through their paces. I scanned the area for the one person I hoped to see, but amidst the flurry of activity, all I spotted were Leon, Jin, Licht, and Yves — no sign of him.

“Hey there, lady!”

A familiar voice called out, drawing my attention. It was Calvel, who approached with a wave.

“Oh, Calvel! You’re here too?”

I said, relieved to see a familiar face.

(Calvel is one of the soldiers I’ve gotten to know during my time here, working under Vernard… sort of.)

“Any luck locating him?” I asked, hopeful.

“No, I didn’t find him,”

Calvel replied, his eyes reflecting disappointment.

“When it comes to vanishing, he’s a pro.”

(I couldn’t agree more. At times, he seems to drift in and out like a ghost…)

“Maybe he’s gone into town?”

I suggested, but Calvel shook his head.

“Nah, it’s unlikely. He doesn’t venture into town at this time of day. Usually busy with his official duties, and today he doesn’t have any scheduled. Besides, even if he did, he wouldn’t spend long outside the palace; he has a strict routine for that.”

“Really…?” (How does he know so much about him?)

“He’s still in the palace,”

another voice interrupted our conversation.

“Hello, Leon,” I greeted him.

“Hey, I overheard you two struggling to find him,” Leon replied, a knowing smile on his face.

Calvel sighed. “You know how it is, Your Highness. When that time of year rolls around, he just disappears.”

(‘When that time of year’?) I thought in surprise. “This isn’t the first time he’s done this?” I asked, my curiosity piqued. Leon and Calvel shrugged, and Leon explained, “He tends to pull this stunt almost every year… he vanishes, only to reappear as if he’d never left right after the day is over.”

(Why does he do that?) The question nagged at me.

“Lord Sariel has had me looking for him for the last two days,” Calvel said tiredly. “I don’t even want to think about what he’ll do to me if I don’t find him today.”

“Wait, Sariel came to see you personally?” I asked, surprised.

Flashback ~

“Very well then. I hope you manage to pull it off, though I suspect it won’t be a walk in the park.”

Flashback ends ~

(Of course he would know, is there anything Sariel doesn’t know?)

“He’s been hiding for two days? If he knew Sariel was looking for him, he’d appear in a heartbeat.” Leon remarked cheerfully, glancing at the worried Calvel who let out another sigh.

(I had half a mind to wonder if he had snuck off with one of the political faction members and decided to lounge outside the palace for days!)

“Have you thought about checking his room?” I suggested, hope creeping back in.

(It’s the last place left in the palace where he could be, after all.)

Leon responded quickly, “He's definitely hiding in his room, but it won’t help much — he locks the door whether he’s inside or outside.”

(Ugh… just hearing this makes me frustrated. I know he values his privacy like anyone else, but this is a bit over the top.)

“I get it, I do. It is excessive,” Leon said, almost as if he could read my thoughts. “Convincing him to come out today would be a challenge.” He glanced at me, as if expecting I might hold the solution, and soon found Calvel looking at me too.

“What…?” I asked, bewildered.

“We’ve tried every trick in the book to lure him out on this day, and the more we try, the more cautious Vernard gets,” Leon explained with a smile that betrayed his enthusiasm for the challenge. “It’s almost like a game at this point.”

In that spacious room, the chandelier sparkled brightly, even with the sun shining outside. The thick curtains were drawn tight, casting the room in a golden hue as sunlight bounced off their fabric. The prince, with hair as white as freshly fallen snow, stood before a mirror, silently studying his reflection. His gaze wandered beyond his own features, taking in the chaotic scene around him—the scattered papers and hastily-drawn sketches strewn across the floor and bed.

With a heavy sigh, he brushed a hand across his forehead, his eyes landing on a sheet of paper sitting on the table. Beside it lay a piece of charcoal, its tip stained with dark marks. The paper bore a myriad of rough lines and shapes, hinting at the struggle to capture something—or perhaps someone—just right. He let out another sigh, standing to gather the scattered pages, each one filled with his charcoal scrawls. But they all had one thing in common: each depicted a face, one that danced in and out of focus, just out of reach.

“And I still haven’t been able to get the features just right…”

he muttered softly to himself, knowing he was the only one there to hear. His voice lingered in the air, heavy with a sense of sadness and yearning as he studied the drawings before him.

Suddenly, a soft knock echoed through the room, breaking the silence. He froze, straining to determine whether the sound was real. When the knock came again, he began to analyze the situation. It was such a light tap. Given his circumstances, no maid or servant dared approach his door or even come close. They had been warned to keep their distance; his privacy was not to be disturbed. His brothers and Sariel knew better than to intrude when he was this deep in thought. Only Clavis had the audacity to speak to him through the door, droning on about the benefits of joining some faction or another.

But this felt different. It left him with just one possibility…

"I can’t believe I’m doing this..." I muttered under my breath, hesitation creeping over me as I stood in front of the door. I knocked twice, a pit forming in my stomach. "Maybe... he’s not here?" Hope tinged my thoughts, as I wished for an easy escape.

It was true; I didn’t fully grasp why Leon and the others had pushed me into this crazy plan. Their reasons felt distant, like whispers in the wind, and yet here I was, on the brink of doing something I’d never imagined. How had I let them convince me? I couldn’t shake the guilt that wrapped around me like a heavy blanket.

Minutes passed and I hovered there, contemplating whether to knock again or just turn around and forget this completely.

(One last try.) My hand was just about to make contact with the door again when I suddenly heard the soft click of the lock turning, the door creaking open.

"Oh…" The realization hit me—he really was here! Half of his face was visible, but those familiar jade eyes were unmistakable, staring back at me with an unreadable expression.

“It’s you,” he said, his voice calm as ever, as if he’d been expecting me all along. My heart raced, and I scrambled for words.

(What am I going to say now? I wasn't expecting him to be here for real!)

Silence hung heavy between us, stretching into awkward seconds as he stood there, the door half open, his face partly shrouded in shadows. He looked patient, almost intrigued, as if he truly wanted to hear what I had to say. (Is he really willing to listen?)

“Do you need help?” he finally asked, each syllable radiating genuine care.

(Here goes nothing…) “I was just heading out of the palace to do some shopping, but...” I hesitated, biting my lip. “Because of my role as Belle, I can’t exactly roam around alone, and… well, I can’t ask Rio for help since he’s busy. Plus, I don’t want to pull the other princes from their duties just for something so trivial…” My heart raced.

(I really hope this works. This is part of the plan we cooked up, even if I’m still against spinning a tale for Vernard...)

“Okay.” His response was a bit surprising.

(Wait… what?!)

“I don’t have anything planned today anyway,” he continued, his voice steady. “I’ll go with you. It’s part of my role as your guardian while you’re here.”

I couldn’t believe he actually agreed. No one else would have fallen for this; they would have seen right through my cover story.

(But what if he knows I’m up to something and he’s just playing along?)

My mind raced with possibilities, but at that moment, all I could think about was that he was coming with me.

Vernard and I strolled through the town, the chill in the air contrasting with the bright sunlight beaming down on us. Markets lined the streets, vibrant and bustling with life.

"Thanks for joining me, Vernard. I hope I'm not interrupting your free week," I said, my voice straightforward.

"No worries! I was bored just lounging in my room anyway," he replied.

(I can't believe he spent two whole days in there... I wonder what he was up to.)

"So, what kind of shopping do you want to do? I’m here to help with whatever you need," he said, his gaze fixed on me with intention.

"Um..." (Let’s think this through...)

“Oh! Look at this!” I exclaimed, heading toward one of the sweet pastry stalls, their colors as bright as jewels, the sugary toppings sparkling like stars.

"This’ll do," I thought to myself, feeling Vernard standing beside me.

“Sweets?” he asked, a curious tone in his voice. I nodded enthusiastically. “I know what you’re thinking. I’m not as good at baking as Yves, and honestly, I wouldn’t have time to learn. Plus… I really don’t want to bother him to teach me,” I admitted.

“So you decided to take the easy way out,” he quipped, interrupting me. I shuffled and scratched the back of my neck. “Maybe.”

Just then, a cheerful voice cut through our conversation. “Oh, Mr. Verny! Good day!”

“Huh…?”

“Good day! How’s everything going?” Vernard responded warmly.

“All good, thanks to you,” the vendor beamed.

I glanced back and forth, trying to piece together their connection. “Do you two know each other?”

“Of course! Mr. Verny here is the reason I opened this little stall. I was unemployed and desperate to provide for my small family,” the vendor explained.

(Really...?)

“You have a real talent for baking, and I just had to help you,” Vernard replied modestly. “Even if I hadn’t seen your potential, I would have done what I could.”

“Hahaha, you can’t imagine how much your help changed my life! And since you dropped by…” The vendor rushed to a corner of the stall and returned with a beautifully decorated box that looked like a tart. “This is for you, quiche, your favorite. Happy birthday!”

(Quiche is his favorite? Wait, did he just say, ‘Happy birthday?’)

“You mean today is Verna—uh, Mr. Verny’s birthday?” I asked, wide-eyed.

“How could I not know? He visits me every year on his birthday,” the vendor replied proudly.

(Wait, he does?! And I thought he didn’t even leave his room on this day!)

“You really shouldn’t have gone through all this trouble…” Vernard murmured quietly, but the vendor just scoffed. “You say that every year! That gives me all the more reason to celebrate you. Consider it a gift of gratitude.”

“Did I hear you correctly? Today is your birthday, Mr. Verny?” another vendor chimed in, and suddenly, the surrounding stalls erupted with chatter.

“Oh, what’s happening?” I wondered.

Happy birthday shouts filled the air, encircling Vernard like a flock of excited pigeons gathering around a piece of bread.

(I’ve never seen so many people swarm around Vernard except for the soldiers at the palace. The townsfolk must care for him so much...)

I turned to look at Vernard, who accepted the well-wishes with a warm, charming smile. Yet, I couldn’t help but notice something odd—he was covering his left ear with his hand.

(Is this one of Vernard’s strange habits that Calvel often talks about?)

"I didn’t see that coming; the people in town seem to really like you," I remarked, glancing at the box of quiche he was holding. Vernard nodded, a gentle smile gracing his lips.

(It’s rare to see him look so relaxed. Usually, he's too engrossed in his duties at the palace, where even a simple smile seems to throw him off.)

“Sorry about what happened back there… you didn’t get the chance to do what you wanted,” he said, his eyes filled with an apologetic softness. (Right... I had meant to go ‘shopping’, but that plan went sideways.)

I turned to take in the setting sun, feeling a sense of calm wash over me.

(At least we gained some unexpected time together. I hope everything unfolds well.)

“No problem! Let’s head back to the palace,” I replied, excitement bubbling in my voice. Vernard raised an eyebrow, questioning my eagerness. “Can’t we walk around a little longer?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to be late, Vernard, and I’d rather not distract you any longer,” I urged again,

(We really need to get back.)

“…You can go back. I’ll keep walking around,” he said, not breaking eye contact.

“And when will you return?” I pressed.

“Midnight.” (What?! You're joking, right?)

“He tends to pull this stunt almost every year… he vanishes, only to reappear as if he’d never left right after the day is over.”

(I thought it meant staying holed up in his room, but now it felt more complex.)

“Why all this fuss?” I wondered, resolved to find out. “I can’t go back without you, Vernard.” His expression didn’t change, as if he had expected my response all along.

“Yes, you can,” he insisted, turning his back to me, cradling the quiche box protectively. I stepped forward, placing myself in his path.

“Just a moment ago, you were hesitant to go out, and now you’re avoiding going back? What gives? What’s with the contradiction, especially today?”

“So you realize I was avoiding the idea of going out?” he said, a hint of frustration in his tone. I winced inwardly; (Crap, he caught on.)

(While I’d tried to mask my awareness of his reluctance to celebrate his birthday, it was clear he saw straight through my act.)

“If you knew I was lying, why go along with it?” I asked, pushing onward. “You could’ve said no, and we wouldn’t be standing here arguing.”

He stayed silent, his gaze zeroing in on me as if I were a piece of art demanding scrutiny.

(What are you thinking, Vernard?)

His eyes, usually so guarded, looked sad, piercing into me with a depth I couldn't quite decipher.

(He seem so troubled?)

“I don’t want to go back now...” he murmured softly, as if the words themselves were painful. “If you want to leave, that’s fine; I’ll stay here until I feel like the matter has been completely forgotten.”

(What does that even mean?)

My frustration boiled beneath the surface. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to avoid! If you hadn’t gone out, you wouldn’t have faced all those congratulations from the townsfolk…”

I glanced at the quiche, realizing how happy today had made him, even if he didn't want to acknowledge it. “I can’t understand you if you keep quiet; you’re not giving me any reasons, and it’s making everything difficult!”

“When you chose to be my guardian, you promised to help make my role in choosing a king easier, getting to know everyone, including you.

His eyes widened at that, as if my words had struck a chord.

(Finally!)

“After hearing about you, I got curious... why do you shut yourself away like this?”

He held my gaze, but didn’t reply.

(Great. More silence.)

“Some things can’t be explained with just words...” he finally said, still staring at me, his voice barely above a whisper.

(Speaking in riddles again, huh?)

But just like that, his expression shifted, becoming cold and resolute. “Lead the way.”

(What...?)

He didn’t elaborate, just stepped aside and gestured for me to go first.

(Wait, does that mean he’s really coming back with me?)

I shouldn’t get my hopes up, though. Vernard was known for his tricky nature; he could be playing games and might vanish the moment I turned my back.

(. . . )

(Am I seriously doubting Vernard?)

I took a few hesitant steps towards the palace, glancing back to see if he was following, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He better not disappear on me this time.

When we returned to the palace, I braced myself for Vernard to be met with stern words or mild reprimand, but what awaited us was unexpectedly jubilant. A vibrant party filled the grand ballroom, celebrating his birthday. Yet, I quickly realized the atmosphere was far from the joyous occasion I had imagined.

“I only deigned to attend because Prince Nokto extended the invitation; otherwise, I would’ve refrained from this festivity,” one guest scoffed, glancing disdainfully at Vernard.

“Perhaps I shall seize this opportunity to finally make the acquaintance of Prince Chevalier,” another added, their tone dripping with disinterest.

"If they had simply declared it a common gathering, I might have chosen to attend instead of honoring the birthday of… the likes of him.”

(What in the world...?)

Amidst the throng of nobles, I managed to blend in, donning the guise of a noblewoman. Yet, my ears caught snippets of conversation that left me utterly aghast.

('The likes of him?’ They're not talking about Vernard are they…)

“This is hardly the expression a noble lady should wear,” a voice interjected, breaking through my spiral of bewilderment.

(Clavis?)

“Regrettably, it’s not our first encounter with such remarks. For a newcomer like you, it can be quite vexing,” he remarked with an air of nonchalance, though I caught the flicker of concern in his eyes.

(I'm more shocked than annoyed. Why would they speak so disparagingly of Vernard like that?)

“That is precisely why he retreats into the shadows year after year,” Clavis continued. “He is well aware that words of ‘Happy Birthday’ will not come readily from the nobility who lamentably do not see dear Vernard as worthy.”

(They don’t recognize his worth?)

“Are you saying they harbor disdain for him? But what did he do to deserve this?”

My voice grew louder, propelled by disbelief, but I quickly tempered my tone. Just earlier, he had been met with warm greetings in town. Yet here, amidst the palace walls, I had expected something little amiable.

“It’s not so much about what dear Vernard has done; rather, it’s about what he is—persecuted by those who wield power in the court.”

(Persecuted for who he is…?)

Clavis’s words left me in profound confusion. I couldn’t fathom why Vernard would endure such harsh sentiment on his birthday. He must have anticipated the criticisms—that was why he kept himself hidden. But…

“This is nothing new for him; however…” I shot Clavis a pointed look. “You still hosted this party, forcing him to attend, knowing the likelihood of such demeaning remarks.”

“Because he asked for it,” Clavis replied, his tone unfaltering.

(What?)

“Dear Vernard knows all too well that the cold remarks await him, and honestly, I love my brothers. It pains me to hear such words spoken of him, year after year.”

His usual smirk lingered, masking whether he spoke in jest or earnestness.

“Parties are not merely for revelry and merriment; they can serve as crucial arenas for alliances and negotiations, particularly those held by the royal family.”

(His words ring true; there’s little escaping that reality.)

“They’re not here to wish Vernard a happy birthday,” I stated, realization dawning upon me.

“They seize the occasion for their own ambitions. It’s an astute method to cultivate connections with the prince on his special day. Yet, for dear Vernard…”

Clavis shrugged, leaving the end of his sentence hanging in the air, inviting contemplation.

“And remarkably, he seems unfazed, even encouraging this charade. ‘Let it be like any other gathering,’ he insists.”

(So he prefers that they treat it as a festivity rather than acknowledge him...)

As Clavis turned to leave, I found myself awash in a sea of disquieting questions.

(So, all of Vernard’s seemingly exaggerated actions today were steeped in purpose...)

He had sought to evade such an affair, yet I had coaxed him to attend, accepting the invitation only to reveal the ugly truth behind his reluctance.

(Now that I’ve witnessed it firsthand…)

His birthday celebration—a time meant for joy—had become a forum for those who bore ill will toward him. Instead of receiving kind wishes and heartfelt congratulations, he was met with neglect and derision. I couldn’t help but wonder how he truly felt, enduring this every year. It was a bitter reality, turning a day meant for celebration into one of hurtful whispers and feigned affability.

(Where is he?)

I want to find Vernard, to understand what he's feeling right now amidst all this chaos. I began scanning the bustling crowd, the lively chatter and laughter blending into a dissonant hum that drowned out my thoughts, but he was nowhere in sight.

(Of course, he wouldn't be in the center of the hall...)

My heart raced as I made my way toward the balcony, seeking the solitude I imagined he must cherish. When I finally spotted him, his back turned to the throng of guests, he stood tall, gazing at the half-full moon.

“How was the party?” he asked, his voice calm and detached, still fixated on the glowing orb above us. I hesitated, grappling with my thoughts, feeling a weight settle in my chest.

(What should I even say to him...?)

“I...” My voice trailed off, swallowed by the cool evening air.

“I hope you’ve satisfied your curiosity now.” His words lingered in the space between us, loaded with unspoken grievances. I struggled to articulate what I felt, my mind a whirlpool of confusion and regret.

Then, he turned to face me, his jade eyes shimmering like emeralds in the moonlight. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, but it was as if the wind carried my apology away—he acknowledged my lips moving but didn’t quite catch the words. “Vernard, I’m sorry,” I repeated, louder this time, desperation creeping into my tone.

“Don’t be,” he replied, stepping closer, his presence somehow soothing and turbulent at once. “There’s nothing to feel sorry for.” His gaze pierced through me, as if he saw all the turmoil I kept buried. “What I’m going through today...every day...it isn’t your fault.”

“But...considering what happened between us in town, it’s like I forced you to do something you didn’t want to do. That’s why...” I trailed off.

“Well, good point. No one likes to be forced, but I came back willingly, not under duress. I wanted to help you—to shed light on what you sought so you could make your choice and finish your task.”

(Even at the cost of his own comfort, he’d sacrifice for duty…that’s what he was trying to convey.)

He paused, a faint smile breaking through his somber expression. “Besides, going out with you today felt like...a gift to me.”

(Huh...?) My heart skipped a beat.

“You gave me some inspiration”

“Inspiration? For what exactly—?”

Just then, a voice broke through our moment. “There you are; Bossman is looking for you.” Rio appeared near the entrance to the balcony, his presence jarring me back to reality.

“Rio, give me a minute,” I pleaded, turning back to Vernard. But when I looked, he had vanished, as if the very air had swallowed him whole.

(He did it again?! He disappeared without a trace!)

(But...what did he mean when he said I inspired him...?)

Vernard was an enigma, an intricate puzzle whose pieces refused to fit together without effort. I reflected on the myriad opinions I had heard about him; making sense of his thoughts and feelings was going to be far from simple. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but whisper what I felt he might need to hear, hoping it would reach him somehow: “Happy birthday, Vernard.”

(Next time, I’ll do my best to understand you.)

As Vernard retreated to his room, a sanctuary from the world beyond—his personal haven where the chaos of life could no longer reach him. Settled at the table, he gazed at the quiché tart before him, its surface gleaming under the flickering glow of the small candle perched atop it. In front of him lay a painting, a carefully crafted image that mirrored his emotions, adorned with a tender but melancholic smile.

“Today is my birthday,” he uttered softly, his eyes tracing the contours of the small painting. The bittersweet weight of his words hung in the air. “The day I entered this world, but also… the day you departed from it.” He turned his gaze upon the painted visage, as if it could hear him.

“You wonder why I’m smiling today? Because for once, you look just as I’ve always imagined you—beautiful and ethereal, even though we never met. I sought some inspiration, a spark to bring my vision of you to life, and here you are, vividly alive in front of me.”

As his eyes lingered on the artwork, the figure became more distinct—a woman with striking features, snow-white hair cascading like a silken waterfall, and captivating jade eyes. It dawned on him that those visual cues were reflections of memories, memories of a remarkable woman who had unknowingly ignited his imagination.

Recalling the source of his inspiration—the woman he had walked with in town, the one he had just spoken to moments ago by the balcony. “With her, I dared to break my routine, to venture out and find the essence of beauty I believed I needed to envision you.”

Taking a deep breath, Vernard leaned closer to the candle, its little flame dancing in anticipation. “Now, let’s blow out this candle, shall we? In honor of you, Mother.” With a gentle puff, he extinguished the flame, the room falling into a serene stillness, as if the world had paused to acknowledge his quiet moment of remembrance.

The End ❤️✨

[shiningwonderland]

Ai Mikaze (All Star)

Translator: Nadie (Twitter: NmoniaG)

Proofreader: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Emily (Twitter: magicalmeily)

Love End — Winter Blossom

I’m waiting in the hallway when Senpai leaves the dressing room in his costume.

Overall, the outfit is white and adorned with fluttery feathers that fit our song's theme.

Haruka Nanami: Oh, you look like a prince!

Ai Mikaze: Really? If you say that even I might get bashful.

He tilts his head and the feathers in his hair sway with the motion.

Haruka Nanami: … Senpai…

As I watch him, I have a feeling that he might just quietly disappear, so I grab hold of his sleeve.

The hand underneath his sleeve is burning hot.

I look up and see his troubled expression.

It's not just his hand, his arm and cheeks are also emitting a fiery heat.

I recall Shinomiya-san’s reluctant face from earlier.

Haruka Nanami: How much time is… left?

Silence.

Ai Mikaze: … So you found out. In that case I’ll tell you.

He pounds on his own chest.

Ai Mikaze: Honestly, it might be any moment now. Aside from some trivial information, quite a big amount of my memory is already gone.

However, before my memory gets erased my system might actually reach its limit first.

Haruka Nanami: You mean your… body?

Ai Mikaze: Mhm... I thought it would be the last to break so I didn't expect this. How troublesome. In any case, it’s only a matter of time until I can’t sing.

I keep resisting, but the damage has reached the point where standing is already… pretty tough.

And just like that, the moment we’ve worried about is here.

Senpai sways and tilts over, but I go to hold him up.

Haruka Nanami: Should I call the professor? Or maybe—

I consider taking him back to the dressing room but he grabs me by my arm.

Ai Mikaze: Hah… I’m fine so stay with me until the show starts. No matter if it’s for one minute or one second… Right now, I want to stay with you.

His breath is ragged. I've never seen him in so much pain.

I nod and support him as we head backstage where there is no one around.

We’re hiding in the back as he leans on a wall to catch his breath.

In this gloomy and empty place, we can hear the other contestants through a monitor.

He grasps my hand and although the heat remains, at least his breathing calmed down.

Ai Mikaze: I’m sorry. I’m worrying you until the end.

The end...

Those words pierce my heart.

Nevertheless, I remember our promise so I bring myself to smile.

Haruka Nanami: That’s not true. I know that you’ll perform the song well, so there’s nothing to worry about.

Ai Mikaze: Of course I will. I'll do all that I can to deliver this song—your feelings—to everyone properly…

With those tender words he gently lifts my hand.

Ai Mikaze: I'll be singing with all my strength, which means I may not be able to be with you for your debut.

But if it’s you, it’ll be fine. I’m sure you’ll be able to do it.

I want to sing your song and I also want to let you debut. These are the first dreams I ever had. And today I'm finally going to make those dreams come true.

I’ll open the future for you. That’s why… you have to do your best.

I cannot hold my tears back anymore—they start flowing down my face.

Haruka Nanami: I’m sorry… I can’t… keep my promise anymore!

Ai Mikaze: It’s alright. Whether you laugh or cry, I still love you.

Mikaze-senpai wipes my tears away with his finger.

Ai Mikaze: I really love you.

His lips softly touch mine.

Ai Mikaze: Nh… I love you… Haruka… I really… loved you…

He kisses me on my forehead, my eyelid, my cheek, and once more on my lips.

Lovingly showering me in tender kisses.

Without realizing it, his warmth already reaches me through our entangled fingers.

Ai Mikaze: I don’t want to disappear… I really don’t want to disappear! I want to stay with you forever and ever.

But… as long as I can leave even a few memories behind, that's enough. I’ll leave the proof of my existence in you.

Thank you for everything.

Haruka Nanami: No, I should be thanking you…!

Ai Mikaze: Even if I’m reborn as another being… I’ll find you again, no matter what.

Haruka Nanami: … I’ll be waiting.

He nods, narrowing his eyes.

Ai Mikaze: I love you so much…

He gives me one last gentle kiss.

We hear cheering from the monitor. It's Mikaze-senpai’s turn next.

Ai Mikaze: … I have to go now.

Our lips, bodies, and hands part.

Senpai’s warmth is fading away.

Still, there’ll surely be warmth in his singing.

Senpai is heading to the stage.

His cheeks are paler than usual and gently glow under the stage lights.

His posture is perfect. Looking at him now, it’s as if his condition earlier was a lie. 

Ai Mikaze: Bye-bye, Haruka.

Amidst the cheering, Senpai whispers these words into my ear and heads straight for the stage.

The stage is sparkling in blue lights and the person who is heading towards it looks just like a mermaid returning to the ocean.

As Senpai walks up to the microphone and begins to speak, the audience falls silent as the deep sea around him.

Ai Mikaze: I’m going to sing with all my feelings. Please listen to it: “Winter Blossom”.

Tomochika Shibuya: Mh~ You’re right, this is really delicious!

Haruka Nanami: Hehe, right? It’s called “Marine Jelly”!

I see Tomo-chan mumbling as she holds her spoon, so I eat one of the sugar shells as well.

The sun shines softly through the window on this beautiful spring day.

Tomo-chan holds the transparent jelly towards the light.

Tomochika Shibuya: So, did Mikaze-senpai contact you afterwards? He’s studying abroad now, right?

Haruka Nanami: He seems to be very busy at the moment so he hasn’t contacted me yet… But I’m sure he’s doing well!

Tomochika Shibuya: I see. Well, since he seems to be really busy it makes sense that he can’t even contact his own partner.

After the Song Festival I’ve returned to my usual daily life.

About what’s happened…

Mikaze-senpai finished singing and returned backstage, where he collapsed in my arms.

As time passed, all of Senpai’s functions stopped.

He managed to sing my song at his very limit.

The professor came running to us. Because of Senpai's bad physical condition, he was immediately carried away.

At the Song Festival, our song won the first prize.

I successfully managed to become an employee of the agency and debuted as a composer.

According to the official statement "Mikaze-senpai is studying abroad" was what I stuck to. Whether he would return was still uncertain.

Everyone at the Agency was surprised by the sudden news.

Only Shinomiya-san and Syo-kun seemed to have realized what happened and cried with me.

With Senpai, the professor and Aine-san vanished as well. We searched for them in the lab but they were nowhere to be found.

I still don’t know where Mikaze-senpai is.

The president came to me after the Song Festival and only apologized to me with a single “I’m sorry”.

He made an exception and permitted us to become partners without canceling Mikaze-senpai’s contract.

His apology was surely the president’s way of atoning for his failure to prevent so many things from happening.

Fortunately, I received a lot more job offers after my debut. So I tried my best to act normally.

Tomochika Shibuya: I’m glad you seem to be doing fine! I was worried you might feel lonely after Mikaze-senpai’s disappearance.

Haruka Nanami: I’m okay! There's so much to do. Everything's getting serious now that I've debuted.

Tomochika Shibuya: Oh! Spoken like a real adult! My, my, you’ve grown, haven’t you?

Haruka Nanami: I became a professional composer after all! So don’t treat me like a child!

I retort back, but I can’t help but smile at how much Tomo-chan cares for me.

Tomochika Shibuya: Speaking of which, isn’t Mikaze-senpai’s movie about to get released?

Haruka Nanami: Right! I heard they’re doing final editing right now, so it should be done soon!

Tomochika Shibuya: Oh, I’m looking forward to it! I’ll watch it for sure!

Haruka Nanami: Really? Thank you! In that case I’ll send you a ticket!

Mikaze-senpai might be gone, but time kept flowing surely and steadily.

When I went outside, Mikaze-senpai’s song was broadcasted everywhere throughout town.

Senior High School Girl A: Ah! I love this song!

Senior High School Girl B: Me too! You know, I wonder when we’ll get a new song~ It’s about time he releases an album or something.

Matching alongside the melody, those girls started humming the lyrics.

Tomochika Shibuya: Wow, it’s so well received by everyone! That’s great, Haruka!

Tomo-chan chuckles, watching the girls gush about Mikaze-senpai.

Haruka Nanami: Right…

“I’ll watch over you, even when I’m gone.”

Mikaze-senpai’s words ring in my head, realizing that this might be what he meant…

I listen to his voice with these thoughts and a happy heart.

My phone rings.

Haruka Nanami: A call. Wait—it’s from the president!?

W-What could he want?

Shining Saotome: Yeees! This is ME asking YOU for a work related request!!

His voice blasts through the speaker.

Haruka Nanami: O-okay, what is it about??

Shining Saotome: A first version of the movie was finished~

The movie “The Mermaid’s Tears” has been completed and for some reason they’re showing the preview screening today.

Haruka Nanami: Uhm, so it’s today?

As always, that’s too sudden, President.

Shining Saotome: YES! It’s fresh out of the oven! Go and check it out!! YO, better not take your eyes off it until the last minute!

Haruka Nanami: Yes!! Understood!

So the movie is already done but what do I do? I’m not mentally prepared for it yet!

Haruka Nanami: Wha-wha-wha-what should I do, Tomo-chan?? He said the movie’s done so there’s a preview screening and since I was part of the staff I have to go watch it today…

Watching me panic, Tomo-chan shows me a wry smile.

Tomochika Shibuya: Okay, okay! Hurry up and go!

Haruka Nanami: But I really wanted to watch it with you… Ah, I gotta go!

Tomochika Shibuya: Be careful on your way and watch your step!

Haruka Nanami: I will! Thank you!

I wave behind me as I rush to the train station.

I barely managed to arrive at the screening location on time.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, it has been some time, I’m Nanami.

I saw a familiar staff member and composer so I sat next to them.

Staff A: Yeah, it has been a while. Seems like the movie turned out great.

Haruka Nanami: I see… I’m excited.

The movie begins.

On that evening, a girl meets a boy singing on the beach.

He is an excellent singer. A boy with eyes the same blue shade as the sea.

That boy is, in reality, the mermaid prince.

He and the girl gets along well. So much, that he often visits her and sing for her.

When the girl talk about her dreams, she mentions that she wants to become a music teacher.

The prince falls in love with the girl, and she also feels the same in return.

As I watch Mikaze-senpai on the big screen, I recall the memories we had together.

The time when we had just met.

The taste of the jelly we ate.

The somewhat funny udon he cooked while taking care of me. Our accidental kiss.

The happening on the Ferris wheel.

Memories of the Christmas Live.

His sparkling eyes while looking at the aquarium.

The day when he told me that he wanted to sing my song, even though it hurt him.

And finally our kiss on the Ferris wheel…

As the time inside the movie passes, the girl grows up to become a woman.

Due to an accident, she loses her sight. She loves to play the piano, but she is unable to do so anymore. Even her dream of becoming a music teacher can't be fulfilled.

In order to recuperate, she returns to her hometown near the ocean.

The mermaid prince and the woman reunite at the beach where they first met.

“I have very fond memories of this ocean. Those days were the happiest of my life,” she says.

“I want to hear that song again” she adds.

Haruka Nanami: And that’s how it’ll end.

If the mermaid prince lets out his voice, the curse of the ocean will turn him into seafoam.

Mermaid Prince: … May you keep smiling and find happiness. 

Those are his last words.

He sinks into the ocean, vanishing into countless bubbles, as if melting away.

Mikaze-senpai once mentioned that they don’t show what happens next.

No one knows what happens afterwards.

… At least that’s what I thought.

The ocean appears on screen once again, but this time with no colors—it’s all gray.

Haruka Nanami: The movie… isn’t over?

People start muttering all around me.

Most of the people involved in this film are present—

—yet no one seems to know where this footage came from.

It simply shows a gray ocean on screen.

“Is the projector broken?” someone whispers.

I can hear the sounds of the waves.

Gradually, the gray ocean starts to gain back its color.

The blue of the sky and the blue of the ocean.

Are those white flower petals?

Fluttering like snow, the petals dance over the screen.

That’s when someone dear to me appears in the center.

???: Where could you be? I’m right here. 

I dash out of there.

I follow my instincts. My heart is so impatient that I stumble over my own feet.

This hill from which one can see the ocean—this time I’ll pass it down alone.

There he is, facing the sea, singing by himself.

Standing there, singing in front of the sparkling waves, he looks like a prince.

His voice is clear, and echoing like the rippling waves.

I calm my rapid breathing and call out to that person.

Haruka Nanami: …I am here!

He stops singing, slowly turns around, and whispers something to himself.

The ocean breeze is strong.

The loud wind drowns out his answer, but then—

—he stretches out his arms towards me.

A silver bangle sways on his arm.

Those falling flower petals, as fleeting and white as snow, will never disappear again.

I take a firm step on the sandy beach and leap into his arms.

With his comforting arms he catches me firmly.

“I’m home”.

Ai All Star Route End

MESSAGE FROM AI

I don't think this note will get it across, but… I love you. I won't forget the smile you showed me. It is said that when people are together, they become more alike. If that's true, then I hope we'll have the same smile one day.

[pathologicalrunaway]

speaking of my au: here's a little something (characters + weird incorrect quote-styled dialogues)

__

eeny:

moth hair

young and innocent. silly lil bean. likes learning new stuff (there's a lot)

meeny:

two braids

shy, a bit introverted. can read and is good at understanding how others feel

miny:

two short ponytails

proactive and energetic, always ready to help. a bit unattantive

moe:

mohawk

somewhat tactless. curious. a bit reckless and impatient at times

resh:

looks like a normal person (not corrupted). moth-like hair but longer and a moth-style outfit (you can die with style but you can't be reborn with it). capeless, which makes them rely on the moths a lot

doesn't know what they'd like to be called. miny recognised them as 'mx king' and they never tried to correct them. until a certain point

tired, grumpy, sarcastic and easily annoyed. despises themself and snaps at others. totally lost: doesn't know what they want, who they are and what they should do. suicidal and confrontational and tries to appear rude and dangerous in order for their pain to go unnoticed (failing miserably)

_____

eeny: i'm sure it'll be fun!

resh:

resh: i wanna die

resh: *is having a moment, contemplating isle, deserted and empty*

eeny: what's going on with them?

moe: they're experiencing shrimp emotions

resh: *falls from a manta and hits the ground*

miny: anything broken?

resh: my dignity

resh: leave! me! alone!

resh: *slips on the ground, falls in the brook, gets extinguished immediately*

moe:

moe: sure, call when you need us

miny: hey guys, it's grandma hour!

eeny, meeny and moe: yeeey!

resh: what are you talking about??

*10 minutes later*

miny: so, this is grandma hour!

resh, who hasn't been in such a cozy home-like environment in centuries and can barely hold back tears: cool

meeny: sometimes i wonder what it'd be like to have a parent. someone who cares about you, someone who waits for you to come home, someone who supports you no matter what and protects you from dangers. someone you can trust and who'd never leave you. i wonder what it feels like, to be loved like that.

resh: *sighs* it feels nice

eeny, meeny, miny and moe: *trying to process the implications of what they've just heard*

eeny: be careful with the krills

resh: pardon me?

miny: that's what we call dark dragons. we've figured out that if you give funny names to scary things, they seem less scary.

eeny: you can try if you want!

resh:

resh: the Trial of Walls

moe: they said funny, not stupid

moe: also who tf is afraid of the trial of earth

meeny: don't go there, moe! there must be a safer way!

moe: oh, don't make such a fuss! i'll be alright

resh: yeah, let them go. if they get eaten, it's their fault

moe: *gets noticed by a krill*

resh: MOE *runs to help*

resh: *is having a panic attack*

eeny: mx king?..

resh: don't call me that! i'm not a king, not after all i've done!

eeny: how should we call you then?

meeny: maybe mx prince? they've mentioned being a prince before

miny: maybe mx ruler? it's more general...

moe: maybe cake mix?

resh, suddenly stopping crying: w h a t

resh: you're annoying. stop trying to help everyone all the time

miny: is this your way of saying "thanks for saving my ass four times this morning"?

resh:

resh: no

resh: why's that kid sitting in front of a door all alone? not that i care

moe: why're you asking then? not that i care

miny, already standing at the door with the kid: ARE YOU GOING TO HELP OR NOT?

miny: who do you love most?

resh: no one. i hate all of you equally.

eeny: awwww they can't pick a favourite 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤❤❤❤❤✨✨✨✨✨✨

*the moths and resh finally meet the elders*

the elders:

resh:

sah: ...the fuck??

resh, covering meeny's ears: don't swear in front of the kids!!!

+ bonus:

resh: i've only had eeny, meeny, miny and moe for a day and a half but if anything happened to them, i would kill everyone in this kingdom and then myself

eeny: huh?

resh: i said i hate your guts and wanna kill you

[shunin-gumis]

Mistery on the Moonlit Passage - Track 05

Seasonal Event Story

Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue

Nanaki: …… 

Nanaki: (Andy told me earlier that the ‘recommended date spot’ on the cruise liner was at the sky deck, but…)

Kafka: So this is the main party venue. Thanks to the holograms, the ceiling looks high, making the venue feel spacious inside the ship. 

Kinari: During the daytime, the scenery can be viewed from the windows, which is intended to increase the open appeal of this area.

Yachiyo: Wow… Isn’t this, like, way more luxurious than anything a poor commoner could ever dream off…? If I keep indulging in such luxury, my karma’s gonna tank and I’ll be reborn as something even lower than a bug…

Nanaki: (Trying to invite the chief in front of everyone might be a bit too difficult…)

Yodaka: There’s also a bar counter at the back. It looks quite well-equipped.

Chief: Seems like the staff might not be familiar with some things, but with proper training, I think they should be able to get a hang of it.

Kafka: Yeah, I believe so too.

Nanaki: (Besides, I’m here for work. I shouldn’t let myself get carried away…)

Akuta: WOOHOO! The buffet food looks friggin’ delicious~ I’m gonna spend my whole entire life on this ship, just munching forever and never leaving this place!

Muneuji: Isotake, you should calm down and eat a bit more slowly. Your cheeks are starting to resemble that of a chipmunk’s.

Chief: But isn’t that your third plate already, Muneuji-kun? High schoolers sure are built differently, huh…

Nanaki: (But since there’s gonna be customers who’ll come here as couples, maybe I can get away with that as an excuse to scout it out as a date spot…)

Chief: Are you also like that, Nanaki-kun?

Nanaki: Huh!? Y-Yes!?

Chief: Hehe, I knew it.

Nanaki: (...! Chief’s smiling face…)

Nanaki: (But I totally didn’t get why they were laughing at all…! I must’ve definitely given off a weird answer…!)

Chief: This is bad! Yachiyo-kun is heading straight for the super delicately balanced Jell-O tower! I have to stop him.

Yukikaze: Chief, please wait a moment.

Chief: What’s up, Yuki-nii?

Yukikaze: Nanaki, don’t you have something to talk to the Chief about?

Nanaki: !?

Chief: Huh? Really?

Yukikaze: Earlier… Was it Andy you were talking to? I’m sorry, I overheard your conversation with the AI.

Yukikaze: I also noticed that you were staring at the Chief the entire time, so—

Nanaki: Ka-Kamina-san! W-W-Waitasecond!

Yukikaze: ?

*Nanaki immediately drags Yukikaze with him at high speed*

Chief: Huh? Where are they going—Ack, wait! Yachiyo-kun, stop right there, STOP!!!

Location: Cruise Liner - Inner Passageway

Yukikaze: What’s wrong? I heard you were researching ‘recommended spots’ on the ship to share with the chief, right? You’re very thoughtful, Nanaki.

Nanaki: Huh? Wait, you didn’t hear about the ‘date’ part…?

Yukikaze: Hmm?

Nanaki: N-No, it’s nothing.

Yukikaze: Are you sure you're not going to tell the chief? If you want, you can tell me and I’ll pass it along to them. 

Nanaki: Uh… That’s a bit—

Nanaki: Well… everyone looks like they’re having fun, so maybe I’ll save it for the next time…

Nanaki: (I’m worried that if I do that, the mood’s gonna be ruined because of me…)

Nanaki: Sorry, I think I made you worry for no reason. I’m just gonna take a breather outside.

Yukikaze: Nanaki… ~~~(end flashback)

Location: Cruise Liner - Party Venue

Nanaki: (...Okay, if I don’t bring up my feelings and just stick to telling things objectively…)

Yukikaze: After Nanaki and I spent some time chatting with everyone at the party, we each went our way to the sky deck at different times. 

Yukikaze: That's all.

Nanaki: Y-Yeah, that's about right, I guess.

Ryui: That’s too brief.

Yukikaze: There wasn’t much else to say.

Nanaki: (...But there’s one thing that’s been bothering me.)

Ryui and Muneuji: …

Nanaki: (Everyone’s on edge…)

Netaro: Mhm… I see nyaow…

Netaro: I’ve figured out the truth!

[little-engineer-who-cant]

Jason confronts Bruce

Part 5 of Sirens Scream Names Forgotten by Tomorrow, Laid to Rest in Infinity

(also posted under cut)

“You cannot create a monster and then condemn it, hate its ugly features, its terrible gait. When I look into the mirror, I do not see myself but all of you who made me.”

- David Jones

(Shoot him.)

(That’s not the plan.)

(Fuck the plan. Shoot.)

(You’d have me waste all this?)

(It’s what you want, isn’t it? No one walks away.)

(Ideally, I will.)

(You’ve been dead for how long now? No one is walking away.)

(I-)

(It was never going to be you.)

He’s staring down the barrel of his own gun at the man who should have been his father when he finds the truth.

(You came back from the dead. You were never making it out alive.)

(No one walks away.)

No one walks away. He’s cheated death to ensure it. 

(Reaper made flesh.)

(Pull the trigger.)

So he does.

—

There are burns on his arms. The hair singed right off. He reeks of smoke and despair, cloaked in failure as he hunches over the metal railing. He aches of broken bones that are healing, of bruises on his ego, his body, his memories, his everything. But that’s nothing compared to the sting of failure. Of all the times to grab me, old man, it had to be now? At least if Bruce had let it all happen, Jason wouldn’t be alive to care about the aftermath. He’d be back in the ground-

(where you belong-)

-making nice with the worms and decay. 

But that’d be too easy. That’d be nice and neat, a pretty little bow on the tragedy of Jason Todd. Born to die, again and again, until he finally got it right.

(Maybe you’re still trying to be the perfect son.)

(I can’t be. I’m not Dick.)

(No. You’re not even Jason.)

It’s an old truth. That doesn’t make it sting any less. What’s really fucking with him, running in incessant circles in his already insane mind is the why. Why did Bruce grab him? It wasn’t like he was Bruce’s son anymore.

(When a man puts a dead thing in the ground, he expects it to stay there.)

But he’d clawed his way back out. And like every warning sign on the way up from Hades, he hadn’t come back right. Would Eurydice have been the same, if she ever broke the surface? He’d done that, come up from the water, reborn and remade. Jason Todd, Talia and Ra’s had christened him. A dead man. 

(You’re not making sense.)

(Isn’t that what you wanted?)

It’s easier not to think, to let his body turn and twist and ache in whatever direction it decides to take him. It’ll make sure he’s safe, that instinct is too ingrained to ever die. As long as his mind is blank, he’s not thinking about Bruce. 

The Pit stays quiet. No use trying to drive a man towards a cliff when he’s already leapt off the edge.

Jason has never fucking once wanted it to talk more than he does in that moment. Just for a reminder that he’s not alone.

—

Weakness, plain and simple. When he comes out of his haze, he’s staring at his worst weakness in the form of her bedroom through the window. Perched precariously on the concrete sill, he leans his forehead against the pane and watches his breath fog it up until he can’t see inside. Can’t see if she’s home or not. Can’t see if she’ll see him.

(Weak.)

But the voice is weak too. It can’t goad him over something he’s already accepted, something he already knows. She’s his pressure point, the chink in his armor and it’s all because she-

Click.

The window unlatches and he leans just far enough away that he won’t tumble when it opens to reveal her, the off-white hue of distant neon light catching in her dark hair like a halo of starlight.

“Hey,” she whispers, leaning her elbows on the still and looking up at him, seeing the dirt and blood, smelling the smoke and sulfur, hearing the sirens that herald emergency vehicles screaming towards that fire.

“I shouldn’t be here,” he mumbles, resting his head against the rough brick exterior, the edge of her window digging into the back of his mask. 

“Come’ere.” She holds out a hand.

“I shouldn’t be here.” It’s the one thing he knows for sure.

“I don’t care.” 

“They can find you.”

“Let them. I’ve faced worse.”

“You shouldn’t face what’s after me.”

“If it means keeping you, I’ll welcome them all with a smile.” Her stubborn expression hasn’t changed. Hasn’t even flickered. “I’ve lost a lot of people that I’ve loved. I’m not losing you too.”

“You’re insane.”

“Maybe. What a pair we make.” He takes her hand, she pulls him in the window and they press their foreheads together. Her fingers come up and gently, carefully, reverently undo the clasp on his mask, peeling away the vengeful Red Hood to show the exhausted man underneath. And he is exhausted. 

“I let him get away,” he confesses, like a bullet to the gut. “The Joker- I-” Her fingers rest over his lips, silencing him.

“It’ll take time, but he’ll get his due.”

“You say that like you know.” Her smile is full of teeth, knives gleaming in the dark as her blue eyes flash through with the soft pink of an unknown power that absolutely terrifies him. Carefully hidden away, only to be drawn out to hamstring someone without warning, to hobble, to cripple, to destroy.

“For you? I won’t give Fate a choice. And he’ll beg for one.” Was this how Paris felt when Troy burned for Helen? Like any price was worth paying to keep those eyes on him with all that promise, that devotion, that dedication to do anything. Her fingers stroke down his jaw and he follows those streaks of heat like he’ll die if they leave his skin. 

It’s an incredible dichotomy, the violence of her words mixed with the gentle affection in her touch and it’s more intoxicating than any drug he knows. 

“I don’t want you in danger,” he protests, but it’s weak in the face of a woman stubborn enough to defy gods.

“And I don’t want you to get hurt. But here we are.” But here we are. With him hurt and her in danger. “Come to bed, the world can wait.” There’s so much he doesn’t understand, so many questions he needs answered, but in this moment, he can’t ask. Can’t be reminded she belongs to other people too. He needs to pretend, just for one more night, that she’s no one’s but his.

—

It’s quiet and dark and he loves it here, curled around her in a cocoon they’ve made of blankets and their bodies. It’s quiet and dark and he cares more about that than the fact that he’s overheating under the blankets. If he got rid of things he loved for the sake of his own comfort, he’d be in a very different place in life. He’s got the quiet and the dark and her, he’ll endure any discomfort to keep them.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asks, voice a bare breath that stirs the room and him towards a semblance of life. But he doesn’t have any right now, none that he can speak. None that she can hear and live to see another day. 

“I can’t say what I want to,” he admits in the silence of her room, breathing that truth into the back of her neck. 

“Hm?” her head twists, trying to look at him, but he digs his forehead into the nape of her neck to stop it. 

“I can’t say it,” he repeats, arms banding more tightly around her, clutching her like a child holds their most comforting toy. “Or you’ll get killed.”

“Jason, let me turn around.” He clings harder, petulant, pressing a kiss to her spine and tasting salt. “Jason.”

“Silena,” he growls, curling further, squishing her more firmly into the circle of his body while he tries to shut the world away. 

“Can I at least look at you?” He shakes his head. He likes it here, in the dark of her room, buried in the softness of her hair. Childish of him, absolutely, but right now he can’t face the thought of seeing her eyes pick him apart. “Fine, then…” she grumbles something under her breath in what sounds like Not-English but he’s not concentrating enough to tell exactly what dead language it is. “Give me.” She pries at one of his hands with that ever surprising strength of hers.

“Silena-”

“Please can I hold your hand at least?” That he can do. He can keep her like this with one arm, that’s not a problem. So he gives her a hand, letting her pull it up and towards her face, what is she-

She presses each one of his fingers to her mouth, kissing the calloused tips, her breath warm and grounding. The sensation hits him like a pile driver, tears welling in his eyes as he buries his head deeper. Maybe not seeing her was a mistake, maybe then he could have stopped her before- Her mouth presses delicately into his palm, a gentle and reassuring hum vibrating against his skin.

“I love you too,” she whispers into the hand that has taken hundreds of lives, destroyed thousands more, a hand that could so easily smother her with just a bit more pressure but she puts her life in it again and again- “I love you too.”

[whiskeysmulti]

Anon? Don’t know her.

Let’s see… my favorite detail about some of your portrayals… I’ll try not to repeat myself too much, but I’m sure I inevitably will have to at some point.

-

Ahhhh what haven’t I said about Gokudera before at this point? I think I’ve already stated a number of times the things I like about him, but I’ll reiterate that my favorite detail about him are the things that I don’t often see in other portrayals, particularly the fact that he should be at risk of losing his hearing or at least have an issue with tinnitus if he uses his bombs a lot. Sure sure, it’s just anime/manga but a bit of realism doesn’t hurt anyone (cept for him) and it’s quite interesting to build off of, so it’s fun. So I suppose, my favorite details can be summarized into: what details did Amano not go into much less even touch that you incorporated into him. Like his inability to sleep very well or the fact that he doesn’t really eat that much in general. Lil details like that are always so fascinating for me to see and therefore I love it.

-

Hmmm for Dino, I suppose it’s the fact that you have a pretty good balance between him being silly, him being cool, and having that cocky ass smug attitude which pisses Hibari off sometimes. There is no fear to be seen or awkwardness. Just a guy calmly and expertly manipulating Hibari into listening or preventing him from doing things.

-

Favorite detail about Tsuna is that he makes it so easy for me to hate him. FOR ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES THAT IS A JOKE!!!!! Honestly speaking, Tsuna tends to be pretty careful about the things that he says, and he doesn’t really have a knack for angering people that often. He may have blown up on some people (ie Haru or Lambo) but he always does apologize for it soon after.

The reason I bring this up (and I honestly can’t recall if I’ve mentioned it before) but it’s unrealistic? Homeboy has not had a single friend in how long up until Reborn came into his life? He hasn’t talked to any girls until Kyoko talked to him for like 5 minutes one time and that was enough for Dr.Shamal to pity him enough to treat him??? The fact that he hasn’t fucked up more often with stupid shit he said astounds me, honestly. He’s a young kid and he should be very socially inept and maybe struggle more with how to interact with others. He should be struggling more with actually making friends and maintaining them or what- but it just happened so naturally and smoothly.

I honestly like the fact that he says dumb shit sometimes that pisses Haru off. It just feels more realistic to me and I love that… even if it stresses me out sometimes LOL.

-

Well, there honestly isn’t much canon information on G so really, at this point he’s an OC of your own creation LOLOLOL Any of the primo generation are basically OCs of our own creations at this point. IF YOU WON’T GIVE US INFORMATION, WE’LL HAVE TO MAKE IT UP OURSELVES, YOU COWARD!!!!! (jk I love you Amano~) Though, with the way that I like to think of the Primo vs Decimo generations being like healing from generational trauma kind of vibes, I like the fact that you had it set that G and Daemon were actually quite close up until the betrayal happened. It’s a very nice parallel from how Gokudera just barely trusts anyone, and definitely does not trust Mukuro. Lil parallels like that are just so fun to me and therefore it’s my favorite.

-

For Enma, I could just cheat by saying that my favorite detail is that he’s just a cutie patootie and I LOVE HIM!!!!!! Jokes aside, I actually forgot that he’s quite fond of cats, so your portrayal reminded me of that, so my favorite detail is the fact that you do put some focus on his liking of cats. It is my favorite because ‘oh wow I forgot about that fact. Ohhhhhhhh’. Yes. I’m a weird but simple bean.

Anonymously send me your favorite detail about how I play my character.- no longer accepting!

.Whiskey. Omg Neo thank you so much! The fact that you picked up on those details when I was so afraid some of the headcanons wouldn't work, or that I was stressing something the manga mentioned once and it wasn't that important to the character, or whatever. So hearing this means so much.

As we've discussed before, the way I write, I try to bring the character to life. I don't want to just be one of those strictly canon compliant blogs that feels like they just memorize the character's lines and that's it. I aim to try to make the character feel more realistic which is where a lot of these headcanons come into play or picking up on those details that were only mentioned once and brushed off by Amano (Dera's poor health habits and recklessness being borderline suicidal, Enma being quiet and soft spoken but a gentle animal lover under it all, Tsuna making so many mistakes because this is the first time in his life he's had actual friends and doesn't know what to do without Reborn telling him so he should actually be completely socially inept at this point if it weren't for Nana teaching him basic manners, etc.) I put so much work into those headcanons and questioned myself and almost didn't use some of them because I feared the fandom would come for my ass for being too OOC which I've seen happen to some Headcanon Heavy and Divergent writers I followed before. So I always question myself if what I'm adding fits the character or not. I know a lot of stuff can be written off as "my blog, I'll do what I want" but you've seen the way I write, I'm more "I'll do what I want with this character within reason because I want to keep their personality in character and build from it, not break it down or change it."

So thank you so much, you don't know what it means to me that you caught those details and you actually like them.

[toxinfrog]

MIITOPIA SPOILERS BELOW

Okay, I just had a thought about Miitopia’s ending, and I’m sure it’s not original or correct, but if I don’t post it, I’ll never get it out of my head.

Okay, so the “Save them” ending for Miitopia: the good ending, the one where you give the dark curse a new face and let them be reborn and get a second chance at life. All well and good, happy ending, sorry to spoil it if you’ve read this far after ignoring the spoiler warning: But I want to focus on what happens right before you pick out the face.

The great sage addressed the hero, and acknowledges the kind choice, before the few lines were spoken that just hid in the back of my brain, waiting for a random midnight to jump out and consume my entire being.

Great sage: Well, you will need to give him a face.

Great sage: But I believe that should pose no trouble for you.

Main hero: None at all!

Okay, so maybe I’m looking too deeply into this…but excuse me?!?

Did the Great Sage and the Main Hero both just imply that the casting call process is not just a game mechanic for putting our favorite Miis into situations, but also an actual, in universe ability that the Main Hero just HAS?!?

I’m sure I’m misinterpreting something or looking far too deep into an otherwise innocuous set of lines that were probably changed slightly between translations, but partially because this is driving me nuts, partially because I kind of want to prove myself wrong by deeply considering the idea, and partially because I just want to entertain this idea for fun, let’s briefly consider the implications, if true:

The casting call process is happening in-universe. This leads to the strange concept that most characters only exist nebulously as a concept until they are casted and gain a face. They obviously have to exist to some extent before they are casted, as The King of Greenhorne is clearly referred to by The Mayor as well as The Dark Lord well before he’s casted.

The Main Hero could have been the one assigning every single role aside from their own, or at least some of them. This has some weird implications, but probably the least weird of the bunch: It seems that they can grant faceless entities a face.

The Main Hero is aware of this power. In other words, there is a good chance that they already knew what several major NPC’s were going to look like moments before actually meeting them. Not really sure what to make of that.

The Great Sage is aware of this power, and that it should work on the Dark Curse. This has the strangest implications: It means that the Great Sage is aware that some faces, perhaps even their own face, could have been chosen directly by the Main Hero. If they were aware of this back in Karkaton, it adds a second layer to them taking on the dark curse in the place of the Main Hero. Imagine the dark lord, except instead of needing to steal faces to control monsters, they could just cast miis as monsters without ever running out of faces or needing to go get more: No wonder The Great Sage allowed themselves to be possessed, considering the alternative of a truly infinite and unstoppable wave of monsters.

Anyways, sorry for rambling for so long about three lines that probably weren’t meant to be looked into that deeply.

[ahungeringknife]

Repostober 3

I don't remember if I ever posted this before but I DO know it's old (like 2016 jfc) and I still :eyes: about it. This really helped me figure out stuff about the actual main characters (Relora is their mom) and the MC's relationship with his patron god.

*marge holding a potato pose* I just think she's neat

------

In her dreams there was smoke and the smell of cinnamon spice. There was the sound of swords and spears clashing against each other. There was rivers of blood that washed under the cracks in doors and splattered on walls. And there was screaming. So much screaming.

When she was awake it was much quieter.

A hot wind rustled the leaves of the carefully manicured trees around the oasis and caressed Relora’s face like rough hands of a lover. She closed her eyes against it and whispered into the wind a single, perfect, impossible, wish. That Spayar was alive. She didn’t want to tempt her chances with ‘safe’. Alive would suffice. She heard someone come up behind her and turned.

It was Javin. “How long have you been out here?” he asked her as he came up to her. Javin was tall and light skinned with strange, straight black hair, and black eyes. His mother had been a Xai slave, his father from the noble caste. A bastard son with a slave and still had more reputation than Relora to most Dirinnans.

“Not long,” she lied. She liked being out on the patio that overlooked the oasis and the desert around it. It was like from here she could see Riten, and in the west there were the Nevarsk mountains, huge and looming like the teeth of the gods. Javin didn’t like her being out here in her condition. The sun was always a killer and out here in the Amber Sea it was especially brutal. There was no covering on the patio and the pale stone could be blinding and cook you in no time if you weren’t careful.

“Why don’t you come back inside?” he coaxed her and took her hand. She really didn’t want to but she followed him anyway. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alive, aren’t I?” she asked.

“You know what I mean,” Javin said and looked back at her and her huge stomach.

“Then who are you worried about?”

“You, of course,” Javin said, insulted. He led her into a sitting room where not a few others were also sitting and relaxing, talking, playing some sort of hand games or just by themselves. She let herself be made to sit and Javin took a knee in front of her. “Spayar was my friend,” he reminded her. “I told him I’d look after you.”

“I’m able to do that myself,” she said, knowing she sounded ungrateful but also knew it was just the hormones. Not that it wasn’t untrue. As soon as she’d been able she’d fled from her mother’s side and taken care of herself. Hadn’t been hard, her mother had hated her.

Javin knew that too because he didn’t take offense. “I know,” he said patiently. “But you’re in a delicate state right now. Spayar would be reborn just to kick my ass if I let anything happen to either of you,” he glanced down at her stomach again.

“Heh… yes he would,” she agreed.

“Stay inside the rest of the day, hmm? Havarsi says we should be getting word from Ûrdovük today. So we should know some more things. Maybe it’ll have good news.”

“Right,” Relora said but hardly believed herself. It’d been nearly an entire Watch without a single sign that any of their missing friends had been found. No one had even heard rumor that anyone who hadn’t already been accounted for was even still alive. Not that it was exactly easy to say who might be dead or captured since those damn warlocks had destroyed all their tunnels and buildings.

“Have faith,” he said, patting her knee.

“Javin, that’s all we are, is faith,” she said.

“Then keep it like that,” he said and got up. He kissed her on the cheeks and between the eyes. “I’ll come get you when Havarsi says we get news,” Javin squeezed her shoulder and she nodded. He left her there and Relora was left in the sitting room.

It didn’t take long for others to come over to bring Relora into their conversations. They asked how her pregnancy was going and each one of them made a wish over her stomach for her unborn baby’s benefit that made her smile. They talked about what they were doing out here at the oasis. Everyone had a job to do and they were just taking a break. They also spoke about how lucky Relora was since the Watch of Light was predicted to be coming to an end so her baby would likely be born during the Watch of Rain. That, of course, was lucky. Double so since Relora was also born during a Watch of Rain and Rain children born of Rain mothers were especially lucky. Of course she was due very soon and this Watch had been especially long.

While they talked they worked. Those who did sewed and those who didn’t did something else, like carving or knot work. Relora wasn’t good with her hands in any of those ways and someone ventured out to the kitchen for her. They came back with fruit that needed to skinned and deseeded and a perfectly sharp little knife for her. It was nice to talk and work even if her big stomach made it difficult.

Around sunset Javin came back and found her almost exactly where he’d left her. “Sorry, sorry,” he said, “I must steal Relora away.”

“Go do something useful, Javin,” one of the men complained.

“Yes, we’re busy. So should you be.”

“Pft, once a noble’s son always a noble’s son,” it was not meant to be taken seriously and everyone laughed, even Javin.

“I’m sorry. My hands are just so soft and delicate. What if I pricked myself with a needle? Or cut myself with a knife?” Javin complained in dramatics. “I would be ruined!” The group laughed again as Javin helped Relora stand. “Havarsi was right. News came in from Ûrdovük from our friends.”

“Good news though?” Relora asked as she followed Javin out of the room.

“I don’t know. He just said he’d gotten a letter and I came right to get you.”

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“All we can do is pray, right?” he gave her a hopeful look.

“Right,” she agreed softly as they walked across the common house to a private office-like room where Havarsi was standing at the window, stroking the head of his sandpiper owl.

“There you went,” Havarsi said, turning to them. Havarsi was old, his curly black hair with streaks of white throughout and his dark skin was loose around his mouth and jowels. But his black eyes were still sharp. He was low born, a fisherman by birth who’d married the daughter of shepherds. They’d never had any children. Neither of their caste positions were easy lives and they’d decided unless their children could move up and not across in the caste system they would have none. Since there was no vertical growth to be had in the caste system they’d never had children and it was why Havarsi had helped start the rebellion back before Relora had even been born. Nevi had been murdered far before Relora had joined but she’d heard all about the powerful hexite Nevi had been.

“I told you I was getting her,” Javin said.

“He said you had news from Ûrdovük?” she asked, almost too scared to want a real answer.

“Yes,” Havarsi said, nodding slowly.

“And? Good news. Any news?”

Havarsi went over to the low table and picked up the tablet. Unlike most, the rebellion used the art of clay tablets to send messages. The writing style was old and modern Dirinnans couldn’t read it but all prominant people in the rebellion knew how. Modern writing for Dirnine was intricate caliography that took up a lot of space and didn’t get to the point quickly but clay tablet writing was compact and you could fit a lot of information in very little space. “Came in with a caravan passing down to Sengai,” he said. “There was a raid on our eastern safe house, but everyone managed to escape. Fifty new recruits since last-

“I don’t care about that,” Relora snapped. “I want to know if they found any of our people!”

Havarsi’s face was emotionless, he gave away nothing. Her heart still dropped when he said, “They still have no information on if anyone from Dockery is alive. There’s still rubble-

Relora spit. Right into her hand and slapped it onto the clay tablet. Javin stared at her horrified and Havarsi was more than a little shocked. It was incredibly bad manners to spit on writing since ink could be diluted by your saliva. It was a clay tablet but the insult remained. “Don’t care,” she said and walked out.

“Hey— Relora-

“Don’t mind it Javin. She’s emotional and pregnant. She’s just upset,” she heard Havarsi tell Javin before she was out of ear shot.

Relora went to the kitchen and carefully made her way down into the cellar that had been carefully dug out so no sand could make it through the cracks in the walls. On a shelf against the wall were various satchels filled with food that wouldn’t go bad for a long while in case something happened and everyone had to get out quickly. They were cautionary but this far out in the Amber Sea the Monarchy didn’t care enough about them to reach their great jeweled hands out here to squish them. She grabbed one of the satchels and went back up the steep stairs and walked out of the common house.

She didn’t plan on going far, just to the other side of the oasis where there was a shed. She just didn’t want to be there anymore. Maybe she was being an irrational pregnant woman but she didn’t care. She walked away from the common house, around the oasis to the shed which was empty save for some tools and sat down in the shade. Across the water she could see the common house half hidden under the trees. Outside the sun was setting and she watched it. From the satchel she pulled out a candle and a fire starter and lit the candle, placing it on the counter in the shack. She sat on the stool at the counter and stared out the grated window at the Nevarsk in the west that cast long shadows and swallowed the sun, bringing an early twilight to this part of the Amber Sea. As the sun winked out between the grags of the Nevarsk Relora allowed what Havarsi had said sink in. No new information. She sniffed and before she knew it was crying into her hands.

It had been an entire Watch and they had no information on Spayar. Not a whisper. She didn’t even know if anyone was still looking. Or maybe they only were because Relora had asked. Because you didn’t just tell a powerful hexite like Relora no. They were looking knowing they would find nothing. And she could do nothing to help except wish. She couldn’t go back to Ûrdovük to help them look for Spayar because she was pregnant. Fazaar had put his foot down when she’d wanted to stay after the Dockery raid. She wasn’t staying. They’d lost so many at the Dockery raid. Both rebel soldiers and fellow hexites and that had been before the Monarchy had sent their mages to rip the block apart just to try and kill a few more. Relora had been a lucky one to escape and when she’d shown up at the eastern hideout Fazaar had been there. He’d told Javin to take her out to the Amber Sea where she would be safe. Safe to have her baby. Away from the caste system, where no one would care they’d been born to a rebel, an untouchable, or a hexite.

Relora put her arm around her stomach as she cried. Spayar was probably gone and all she had of him was the child growing inside her. She knew it would be a mage too. Because she’d woken one day and started sucking on coins. Any coins she could find even though everyone had laughed at her. She hadn’t cared and they’d stopped when she told them it was because her baby would be a metal smith like his father. Spayar had told him his mother had coated her hands and stomach with fine gold leaf when she’d been pregnant with him. It had been the only thing that had quieted him in her body so she could sleep. He said even when he’d been little she’d kept an iron coin in her cheek and his pacifyer had had a ring of iron on the back. It had been the only reason his family had risen to the top of their caste, almost able to push through to the next one if not for the invisible ceiling between them. Mages always pulled their families up from the lowest to as high as they could go in their caste.

Fazaar had sent Relora out here to have her baby so it’d be out of the caste system. If no one could prove who their parents were it meant no one could tell what caste a mage belonged to. It was a boon for the mage and it was why so many ended up in orphanages. Orphan mages could go on to be anything. Most of them ended up becoming dogs for the Monarchy so it hardly mattered and they lived in near slavery to the Monarchy. But out here the mage son of a powerful hexite and a metal smith could become a force for good for the rebellion. A powerful mage who might also be a hexite? Fazaar, Havarsi and the other leaders of the rebllion probably didn’t even care Spayar was dead. This wouldn’t be over soon and they knew it’d be decades yet before they toppled on the Monarchy. They had time for a powerful mage.

The entire thing just made Relora cry harder and she curled around her stomach. Her baby wouldn’t be a slave to the Monarchy. They’d just be a tool of the rebellion.

Eventually she exhausted herself. She drank some water and curled up on the wooden floor of the shack and fell asleep.

She didn’t know what woke her. Something. It had been sharp like the bark of a hyena but hadn’t been a sound. Relora sat up slowly, her head aching and looked around. She didn’t remember where she was a moment before knowing. Right. She’d been angry at Havarsi for giving her no news about Spayar and had come across the oasis to spite those men in the common house.

It wasn’t light out but she needed to go pass water from the night before. She hobbled out of the shack and squatted down around the back, her back to the wall. She she did she looked out across the dark landscape of the Amber Sea and its slow rolling dunescape that mirrored the tall crags of the Nevarsk. She rubbed her eyes, thinking she was seeing things, as she looked at the top of a dune. There was a lion up there. Lions didn’t come this deep into the Amber Sea. There wasn’t enough to hunt. But it was a lion. Then Relora nearly fell over when the lion shifted and half spread a huge pair of wings.

A sphinx!

Relora pulled herself up the wall of the shack to her feet, staring the sphinx. It was a duality creature. Both insanely lucky and beautiful, but it was a creature made by Sevok the lier. What was it doing here? What was she supposed to do? The sphinx looked across the Amber Sea and then around and right down at Relora. At this distance she couldn’t see its face too well but it was distinctly human-like. It looked down at her with golden eyes and then turned and started walking down the other side of the dune. As it did it flicked its tail in an almost ‘follow’ motion.

Relora was too shocked to move. Then she found her legs and went back into the shack and grabbed the water jug before going out to follow the sphinx. She crawled up the dune. At the top she was hit by a sharp feeling in her groin like she’d been stabbed. She looked down but saw nothing. It hurt like hell for a few seconds before easing and passing. She saw the sphinx down at the bottom of the dune and it looked up at her, swishing its tail. Relora started to slide down the dune and the sphinx started to climb the next dune.

Up and down and up and down they went. Every now and then a pain would shoot through Relora and a few times she fell to one knee but always got back up. The sphinx always waited for her. Then they came to a flat part of the Sea and there was no more climbing, which Relora liked because her legs were starting to hurt and cramp from the climbing. Instead, somehow, impossibly, they were at the base of one of the Nevarsk. Relora looked up the mountain. The sphinx did not go for the mountain. They went around to where the desert became trees. From a distance they looked green but as she followed the sphinx she saw they were gold and wrought iron. Or rather there was one huge tree that was black and gold and it was so large that it dominated her sight as she approached it. The trunk was as wide across as a Riten elephant and opalescent with thin, peeling, bark that had turned luminous at the edges.

Relora stared up in awe at the legendary tree. It was called the Dehvask tree. It was said the first King had been born from under it and and he’d gone on to create Dirin and the Monarchy, carving their country away from Riten and the once neighboring country of Betton before it had become part of the Federation. It was also said that the gods could be found under the Dehvask tree. Their favorite food were the fruits that grew in its branches.

There was a figure under the tree and Relora hung back. In the grey dawn she’d been walking in it was impossible to see who it was. They were long and lean and leaned against the Dehvask tree eating something. It took Relora a moment to realize it was eating one of the fruits of the tree. The sphinx went up to the god and they offered some to it. The sphinx took it gently in its mouth and slumped at their feet, gnawing on the fruit. Then the figure turned and noticed Relora. They raised their hand up to her in greeting, index finger held apart from the other three.

Slowly Relora approached the tree. “Hello?” she said cautiously and glanced at the sphinx which was ignoring her.

“There you are,” the god spoke with candor and a bright voice that was plesant to listen to. Finally she looked at him and felt the blood drain out of her face. It was Sevok. He was a handsome low lander with dusky dark skin and a head full of a thousand ringlets. His eyes were like sapphires and blood trickled from his mouth. Not from inside his mouth, but from around from where he’d torn away the stitches his father, Jai, had sewn his mouth shut for his disobediance.

“What are you doing here?” she asked softly.

Sevok stepped forward and she flinched when he reached out and put golden hands on either side of her stomach. Her baby woke and kicked her hard, right where Sevok’s hand was. “Shhh, little one, no need for that,” Sevok cooed and stroked Relora’s stomach gently. The baby quieted. He looked up at Relora, “They’re going to die,” he said.

“What?” she squeaked.

“I’ve been speaking with your patron,” he said. “She sees more children in your future, and they’re all going to die here.”

Relora was afraid before rationality kicked in. “Die of old age? Then of course they are.”

Sevok’s smile was sweet and terrible. “No,” he said. “This land will kill them. Every. Last. One. And those are the ones that don’t die in your womb.” She swallowed. “Your patron says you do more work when you suffer. Isn’t that cruel?”

“What do you want with me?” she asked.

“Do you want to continue to suffer? Do you want your children to die? If the Monarchy doesn’t find them and bend them to service your little rebellion will instead. You know that. The civil war here will kill them.”

“I don’t want them to die, or to suffer. I have suffered enough.”

“Yes, you have,” Sevok agreed and brushed his golden hand against her face. “I can help with that.”

“What? Do what?”

“I can make your child immortal,” Sevok said and drummed his fingers on the side of her stomach.

“That’s impossible.”

“I’m a god,” Sevok smirked. “You doubt me?”

“You’re a liar. Of course I doubt you,” she scowled at him.

“Ah, but I also tell the truth,” he tutted.

“What’s in it for you?”

He giggled. “You know, no one ever asks that,” he beamed at her. Even with the bloody face he was handsome. “Smart girl. I will make your child immortal but they will be mine.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I will be their patron.”

“And if I say no they will die?”

“Yes. Once they’re grown. Once they’re old enough for you to love them and they have made others love them. Once they’re so close to showing everyone an end is in sight. Then they will die.”

“And my other children? They will die too?”

“Yes. I’m not sure of the specifics, but they will.”

“How do I make sure they’re safe too?”

“Leave this place. This country. Go where you can be free.”

She swallowed. “Why do you want my child so much?”

“Because,” he smirked. “I know greatness when I see it,” his smirk grew into a broad, cunning, grin. “And I would pluck it from my brothers and sisters before they even knew they existed.”

Relora took a deep breath and pain hit her again. It was probably just the baby as it kicked her again. She closed her eyes and when she opened them looked down at her stomach. Her precious child. All she had of Spayar because he was gone. There was no doubt he was gone. If she found another and had more children it wouldn’t matter. This would be all she ever had of his love. She didn’t want to see her child die. Then it would be like what she and Spayar had had had never been. She looked up at Sevok. “You can have them. But you must promise me they will survive.”

“They will be immortal,” Sevok said.

“Which could mean fucking anything,” she growled. “I don’t care about immortality. I care that my child will not die.”

Sevok giggled again. “They will live for as long as they’re able. They will be powerful and respected because they will command it.”

“Will they be like me, or like their father?”

“More than their father, but not quite like you. Now do you agree?”

Relora took a deep breath. “You can have them,” she said.

“Excellent. Come,” he took her hand and led her under the Dehvask tree. There he pulled down one of the branches and plucked a fig shaped fruit from the boughs. It was a huge fruit and the skin shimmered like a mirage. He put it in her hand and it was heavy, heavier than a simple piece of fruit should have been. “You’ve been here before,” he said and reached up to grab the branch and hung from it like a monkey.

“I haven’t,” she said.

He giggled. “Yes, you have. All hexites have been to the Dehvask tree. Before you were born, before my father stitched your soul into your body, you were here. There you were given a choice. Eat the fruit of the Dehvask tree, or forego it. All Dirinnans are given the choice you know? The Dehvask tree is special to you people because Hehvahnstek likes you so much.” Relora didn’t like the sound of that. Hehvahnstek was a strange god. He was the god of the Watches and commanded when the rain fell and when it did not and he was also the god of growing and the god of withering. Hehvahnstek was almost as bad a patron a Sevok. “He planted the Dehvask tree in the body of a great New sphinx. Its starlight blood ran into the sands and became the Amber Sea, its gold and silver body allowed the Dehvask tree to grow and Aigin created the first Dirinnans from the wet sands of the Amber Sea. And so you were allowed to taste a thing gods had made and become almost like a New thing.

“Almost everyone says no. In fact, everyone did, until Behnv.” Relora’s eyes narrowed. Behnv was the name of the first King who’d ruled the Monarchy and lashed the Dirinnans into castes like cattle. “He was a hexite, did you know? And then no one ate from the tree for a long time after. Until recently. Old souls remebering their old homes and hating. They wanted power to fix what horror had been given to their home, so they gourged themselves on fruit from the Dehvask tree because it would give them power like a King.”

“And what will more do?” she asked him.

“Your fate will take you far from Dirin,” Sevok said, swining from the branch contently, a near happy smile on his face. “Dirinnans who leave the grace of the Amber Sea cannot try for the Dehvask tree. But eating one as you are now will do two things; it will allow your future children the same opportunity all Dirinnans have even if they are born far from here; and it will give you more power.” He snickered. “The living aren’t allowed to eat from the Dehvask tree. Only the dead.”

“Will Hehvahnstek be angry if I eat the fruit?”

“No. Yes. Maybe. Who can say. He tends the water fields with Perunez and squabbles over wind tides. He probably won’t even notice.”

Relora didn’t know who Perunez was. She looked at the color shimmering fruit. She winced as another pain hit her and she groaned, leaning over. “Has my baby eaten from the Dehvask tree?” she asked him once the pain passed.

Sevok’s smile was all cunning. “Maybe,” was all he said. “Who tries the fruit of the Dehvask tree is their own business. Now are you going to eat that?”

Relora looked down at the huge fig shaped fruit again. “If you know my fate will take me from Dirin do you know if Spayar is alive?”

“Who?”

“The father of my child.”

Sevok rose a perfectly sculpted brow at her. “Now why would I care if he’s alive or not? He’s a petty mage.”

“He’s the father of the child you want so badly,” she said, temper flairing.

“I still don’t see how that’s relevant,” Sevok said. “Regardless, I don’t know.” Relora glared at him, squeezing the sacred fruit so hard her fingers dug in to the tender flesh. Nector made of light started to leak down her hand. “Careful there. You only get one.”

She looked down at the fruit and took a big bite. It was cold in her mouth. So cold, like what she imagined ice tasted like. It numbed her tongue and made her jaw ache from the cold. As she ate the pain in her groin grew and she felt the baby kick her as hard as it could in the guts. Or she assumed it was the baby. The pain was sharp and then eased and then flared again without any rhyme or reason and she did her best to ignore it but the pain was so great tears flowed free from her eyes even as she ate. There was no end to the Dehvask fruit. No matter how much she ate there was always more. Sevok just watched as he hung from the branch, legs curled up under himself gleefully. The sphinx also watched from under the shade with it’s strange humanoid face and glinting golden eyes. Nector dripped down Relora’s arms and dropped into the red sands surrounding the Dehvask tree. It shined like starlight and became diamonds as it hit the sand.

She couldn’t finish it and she realized that was the trap of the Dehvask tree and the fruit that it bore.

The Dehvask tree gave power to any Dirinnan who cared to eat from it. Unborn hexites ate from the tree as bodiless souls and they ate until they could fill themselves with the power the Dehvask tree gave. It was the power of godhood. To directly change and alter things because you wished them to be that way. But eventually a flimsy, untested, unsewn, soul could eat no more and it allowed itself into the hands of Aigin’s six armed seamstresses who stitched the soul to its new body and it was allowed to fill itself with life, with knowledge and pain and greed. Souls had no greed. Only the living did and it was why the living weren’t allowed to eat of the fruit of the Dehvask tree or they would eat it unending. Souls only ate what they could fill themselves with. A person would eat until they could no more. But the Dehvask fruit never got smaller and Relora’s stomach never grew full. Instead she could eat unending until she put aside her greed, to know herself well enough to know she had had enough.

How much was enough? How much of the fruit did you have to eat before you became a demi god? Before you because a lesser god? Before you became a true god?

Only the pain made her stop. She doubled over as the worst pain yet hit her right in the gut and she saw stars and gagged on her power and blood. Her breath was ragged and saliva mixed with blood dribbled out of her mouth, open in wordless agony, and onto the barely eaten Dehvask fruit. She looked up at Sevok, her eyes still overflowing with tears. “Is this normal when a mortal eats this?” she asked him.

Sevok’s grin was devious though she supposed all his looks were devious. He was by nature a devious being. Aigin and Jai had made him to be nothing but. Another stab of pain and she convulsed, nearly dropping the fruit. “No. But it is pretty normal for pregnant ladies,” he said.

“What?”

He giggled. “Contractions,” he said.

“Did I do enough?” she asked.

“One bite would have been enough.”

She was shaking but didn’t drop the fruit even as she reached down and grabbed at her groin under her belly. “And what now?”

“Now,” Sevok said, “you are more powerful than you were before. So much more powerful.” Another contraction crashed into her and she almost fell over. Instead she just gasped in pain and bent over. “Never expected a little nothing girl like you to eat so much,” he said. “Let’s hope your child gets even half your ability. But now, you’re no use to me. Can’t have you dying here because of neglegence. Wake up.”

Relora opened her eyes as another contraction stabbed at her. She heard people calling her name. She was lying in the sand outside the back of the shack at the base of one of the great dunes. Above the sky was strange and only half there and she could only see a few of the stars in the dark. A dream? She’d had a dream. What a terrible dream.

Feet ran up to her and she looked up at them. No Javin but the other hexites who’d been hiding out here at the edge of the Amber Sea. “Relora,” Sehvarh said.

“What are you doing here?” Haf didn’t ask her, they were asking one of the others.

“I had a dream,” Jermine said.

“As did I,” said Hevst.

“Did we have the same dream?” Haf asked them.

Relora smiled a little through a pain. “What did you dream of?” she asked them.

“A sphinx,” Jermine said and the others were nodding. “I was following a sphinx in the rain and we came upon you and you were dying.”

“I jumped right out of bed and ran here,” Hevst said.

“What are you doing out here?” Sehvarh asked her now.

Relora pushed herself up so she was somewhat upright. “A sphinx came to me too,” she said. “It led me to the Devhask tree,” everyone’s eyes widened. “I don’t remember what else,” she lied. “I just remember in my dream I thought I was dying.” She laughed helplessly in pain. “Instead, I’m in labor.”

“Oh!” and Sehvarh immediatly leaned down to help her.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jermine said and the two of them helped her sit. She gasped and moaned in pain.

“We need to get you back to the common house,” Sehvarh said.

“Someone run ahead and wake the midwife,” Jermine said as he and Sehvarh helped Relora stand. She grit her teeth as another contraction crashed into her and she saw stars. She’d been told about the pain of child birth but she honestly hadn’t expected it to be quite so acutely horrible. Nothing but the act of it prepared you for child birth. No amount of warnings or cautionary words or stories from other mothers prepared you for it. Haf ran off, kicking up sand as he did. Hevst stayed and helped the other two hexites half carry Relora back to the common house.

Lights turned on in the common house before they got near and she saw a few people come to stand out on the patio. Once they were close enough several of the larger men came out from the light that spilled out across the sands of the Amber Sea and took Relora from Sehvarh and Jermine. They carried her into the common house to the midwife who told them to place her gently on a wooden board that was at an angle from the ground with a place to put her feet. A large, deep, bucket filled with water from the oasis was put beneath the board and Relora whimpered in pain at another contraction.

Her midwife, Seri, checked her over. She put fingers in places Relora would really rather she didn’t and wiped the sweat off Relora’s face and removed most of her clothes so she wouldn’t overheat inside in the heat of a Watch of Light. “You’re very far along,” Seri said.

“Is that good?” Relora asked, panting and grimacing.

“It means you’ll be able to start pushing soon,” Seri said. Seri fiddled with something on the board and dislodged some sort of lock so Relora was allowed to recline a bit more and not put so much pressure on her feet so she could rest. At least for a little while before Seri moved the board back up into position.

It was day break when the quiet of the Sea was shattered when Relora screamed. All Relora knew was pain as her body felt like it was about to be ripped right in two. She had thought the contractions were bad but they were nothing to the labor of trying to give birth.

Between a trial to push her child out she slumped against the board, hair clinging to her face and her skin glittered with sweat. Seri had moved the board back up to a nearly forty-five degree angle so Relora had to sort of squat. She said it made birthing easier because gravity helped pull the baby out of the mother. Relora didn’t know or care if it was true. She just knew it hurt. Seri wiped her face of tears and sweat and gave her some cool mint tea. After she drank and looked up at the ceiling.

She had a strange sence of clarity then. She was a hexite. Before she’d just been a stronger than average one. But now she’d eaten deeply from the Dehvask tree and Sevok said she was even more powerful. She knew, somehow, that she had eaten for hours, and it had made her more.

“I wish my child was born,” she whispered.

“Alright, let’s try again,” Seri said, having not even heard Relora. “Ready to go, dear?” Seri asked.

Relora breathed deep, closed her eyes, and nodded. “I wish my child was born,” she said again opening her eyes and reached up to touch her third eye in the middle of her forehead.

She still sobbed and gave a half scream when Seri told her to push down. It took several more great pushes and cries before she felt a great pressure come lose in her body and gasped in relief. Her body ached and shook. “Almost there,” Seri said, right beside her, holding her arm. “Once more,” she encouaged and Relora gave a half hearted spasm and the afterbirth came out too. Seri moved quickly and lowered the board to horizontal and then pulled the deep bucket away from the board.

Relora lay there just breathing and trying to compose herself just a little bit. She had never felt so exhausted. She’d never felt so much pain. She lifted her head weakly when she heard the first cry of little lungs who’d breathed their first breath. She tried to sit up. “Just stay there, I’ll bring him to you in a moment.”

“Him?” Relora asked weakly.

“Mhm!” was all Seri said and Relora sagged onto the board. Seri came over and Relora opened her eyes and looked at Seri. The midwife was holding a swattling of red and gold cloth framing a little brown face and squinty black eyes. “The cause of all that screaming. Quite a cutie, isn’t he?” Seri teased her. Relora reached out and Seri let her touch them. “Let’s get you onto something more comfortable and then you can hold him, how’s that sound?” Relora nodded mutely, staring at her new son.

Seri called someone in to help her and Relora was gently peeled off the board like dried laundry on a rock. She was wrapped in a red and blue kitenge, leaving one breast exposed, and half carried across the birthing room to a more comfortable bed filled with cattail fluff. Relora basked in the comfort of it and Seri came over to her and offered the infant to her. Relora gladly took the child to her breast and looked down at him with all the love and affection she could muster. He was looking at her with his beautiful black eyes and she loved him more than anything in that moment.

Seri fussed over her a little before calling in more men to come get the birthing bucket. It would be thrown out deep in the Amber Sea for whatever wanted to eat it. Relora hardly noticed. She was so captivated by her new son and how perfect he was. She stroked his face and he yawned, making her smile. He was so tiny and perfect and she was already forgetting the pain he’d caused her. It seemed so meaningless now that he was in front of her now. Who cared that he’d caused her pain? He was here now and she would never let him go.

Eventually she slept and woke to the cries of those around her. At first she thought it was trouble but as she woke she heard that the voices were joyous. She turned and adjusted the shutter on the window. It overlooked the patio and the oasis. Outside it was pouring and nearly everyone was outside running in the rain. Next to her her son was woken by the commotion and he started to squirm a little. “Look little one,” she said and showed her son the outside. “It’s raining out. You were born on the first day of the Watch of Rain,” she smiled and stroked his bald head. He just whined and squirmed and she offered him her breast, left exposed for this very reason. She giggled when he immediatly latched on and started to suckle. She wiped at his mouth with her thumb when he sucked so hard he coughed a little back up. “It isn’t going anywhere,” she told him and her son was just looking up at her as he nursed. She stroked his face and laid back down tiredly dozing as the rain fell outside.

[dihalaman]

A New Loop

Feeling super sentimental about leaving next week. I feel blessed and grateful bu I can’t help clutching my heart to draw a definite line between an end and a start of different arcs. I wish not to let go of precious things first but even so, everything changes with time, just as I do. It’s inevitable that what I look to get back into would always look different next time and that’s okay.

I should already get used to this part for how short my life chapters have been chopped into, as a forever nomad. Maybe it just hits especially different with the timing coinciding with the tail end of my 20s. And youth, at least its first half(?/quarter?) seems extra bedazzling in caffeine jitters. Things are also bound to feel poignant if you’re keen on romanticizing (@ me) 

Anyways, I’m watching this loop closing and I’m wary that I’ll simply be a third person in front of my own memories.

So to say, I’m still so glad that they happened at all, and I’m even happier that some actually end up a full circle. If they really close, loop they will in a perpetual rewind, which is not resistant to visits anyway. Meanwhile, we, bearing the traces of their touch, are here, reborn and thrilled to find new stories to write. Everything’s a vessel of continuation, and it’s nice that we’re evergrowing yet still recognizable in our changes. At least that’s what I’ve been pep-talking myself into, I guess. Now’s quite a proper time to lament a little, but everything’s fine. It’ll be fun.

[galpalaven]

I think I fall under the very small minority who actually loved the expack so let me put my writing degree to use and break down what exactly it was that I enjoyed so much about it --- and acknowledge some places where it fell a little short.

Obviously it goes without saying, but lemme put a big ol' warning just in case.

Spoilers for FFXIV: Dawntrail

I'll be the first to admit that I was apprehensive as hell in the lead up to this expansion. G'raha's last minute backing out of the trip really took the wind out of my sails in that last patch before the drop, so the first... third of the expack was soured in my head.

I'll also be the first to admit that, as someone who is RPing in my mind, the angst of my WoL being upset because her boyfriend decided without mentioning it to her that he wasn't coming after she'd already pledged herself to the cause of helping this stranger on her quest was juicy.

It's possible that this low expectations for the pack actually colored my overall opinion, when it turned out to not be absolutely terrible writing. Still, let's get into some of the drawbacks I felt while going through the MSQ

Cons

SLOW

Now, this is both a curse and a blessing.

After Endwalker, it would have been REALLY hard to keep going at that level of danger and drama. It is just not possible to keep something interesting story-wise when you keep it at that level constantly. You have to let your characters and your audience breathe -- it's just a fact of good writing.

In Japanese, there is a concept known as ma, which is described as the silence between claps. It's also used as a fundamental part of the story beats of Japanese literature. Think of any Studio Ghibli film, or even any anime with random beach episodes -- these are things that include that breather in the story, to allow the story to grow and breathe, and allow the audience to rest. If you don't, you run the risk of your readers developing compassion fatigue and getting bored.

THAT being said -- it is quite slow at the start. A lot of running little errands that feel kind of meaningless that made a lot of the beginning of the adventure feel like a chore. While this fed into my RP angst quite a bit, that was me making it more palatable for myself. It dragged for a while, even though I felt like it picked up as we got farther in.

No Scions :(

I understand from a writing and technical standpoint why they decided to distance the Scions a bit from the central storyline, but that doesn't mean that I liked it.

One major complaint I have of A Realm Reborn was that it is just so inherently lonely -- the Warrior of Light has no friends and no constant companions at that point. While Dawntrail at least gives us a new set of companions whom I have come to love, it did bring up those feelings of loneliness again. I'd have liked the Scions to be more active in the story, though they do end up showing up near the end of the expack. I'm not sure how they would have done that, however, though it would have been nice for maybe at least Estinien to have come along with us and the twins and Krile.

Still, I am glad we got to have a reunion at the end of the expack. It was nice to have my boy back, at the very least.

New Characters are New

TBH, this isn't entirely a bad thing, but the new characters are new and change is often something we rail against naturally.

While I personally really like the new characters, they are not going to be everyone's cup of tea. Wuk Lamat is overbearing and naive, Erenville is "dour and ill-tempered", Koana is stubborn and stoic.

That being said, I didn't like most of the Scions until Shadowbringers, so while it makes it hard to stick with it, it's important to note that these characters are at the beginning of their story. We should give them the same time that the Scions had to grow on us before we make any forever judgements.

We're Not The Main Character

I also felt the disconnect in this story that I didn't feel through the last several expansions -- not since ARR have I felt like my character isn't quite connected to what's going on.

This time, though, it's intentional.

While I think it was a necessary step to take to bring the story down from Endwalker, it can make it hard for the audience to relate and care if they're not the central character. Playing the side character to Wuk Lamat's MC is tough for some people, and it's a valid reason to feel disconnected, even if it's really hard for our character to realistically be the Chosen One forever.

Pros

Solid Plot

I know people who didn't and don't care for the story of this expack won't agree, but from a technical standpoint, the story hit all the beats it needed to. The first half of the story following the contest for the throne has a much lower-stakes but technically sound rising action into the smaller climax of the early story.

Then, crossing the threshold into the other part of the continent, we cross into the rising action leading up to the real future plot of the series. And it really left me feeling interested in where we're going to go from here! I knew based on the patch content past 6.0 that the future of FFXIV was likely going to involve the other reflections, and we got confirmation here.

Maybe it's the Azem in me, but I'm super excited to see where they go with it. After the amazing payoff of SHB and Endwalker, I have faith that they will be able to build up a good story again given time.

I'm looking forward to seeing Ryne again and Zero and seeing what roles they'll have in the future, because I'm sure there's no way we've seen the last of them. I've been so curious about the remaining shards and what kind of worlds they are, what kind of lives and civilizations are built there, so I'm happy that it seems like we're leading up to learning cross-dimensional travel. I'm also super intrigued by the Lalafell revelation? Are they aliens? What the fuck??

As central as every other race has gotten to be, I'm glad lala fans are going to be getting their moment moving forward.

We're Not the Main Character

I dunno about you, but it was kind of nice to have an adventure where my WoL got to just indulge in being an adventurer, and not have the weight of the entire universe on her shoulders. I like that she was an unknown in Tural, and that she was more or less just there for moral support. It did more to make her feel like a person than the story of ARR ever did -- for once she was no more or less important than anyone else, and that felt nice.

Upset as I was about G'raha not coming along, getting to kind of roleplay being an adventurer at a normal time in history, when the major problems are just wildlife or local feuds, felt good. Felt fresh. And yeah, I got a bit bored doing the fetch quests, but there was a part of me that kind of appreciated it (while wondering when it would start to pick up -- and pick up it did!).

THE CHARACTERS

OOOOOHHHH the character writing HIT as good as it always does.

Granted, it didn't really start to hit until about midway through, but it did hit. And let's be honest, the beginning of every story might leave you feeling a little disconnected or unsure -- that's just because it hasn't had a chance to hook you yet.

Wuk Lamat, Koana, and even Bakool Ja Ja all get lovely character arcs in just the first third of the expack.

We see Wuk Lamat grow from a naive, silly young woman to a humble, graceful leader -- who still has a lot to learn, but her favorite thing is learning, so that's great! Truly, she takes the power of friendship to its extreme. Plus, there's something nice about being this almost all-powerful adventurer and taking a back seat to help someone grow and learn and show them what you have learned works best for helping people and helping whole entire civilizations grow and find prosperity.

Koana starts off as Mr. Gentrification, and throughout the course of the contest learns that even though some technologies are good and helpful, tradition and culture is what makes his people them. And he learns to love them and he sees for the first time that his baby sister has the right idea, upholding this peace and working to better every community within their borders while upholding cultural traditions. Plus, it's adorable how he seems to get a lil tiny crush on the WoL (even if my girl is in a happy relationship with G'raha).

Even Bakool Ja Ja, who I wasn't really expecting much of anything from, got his own character arc. I really do love "villain becomes your best friend after you knock him out good once" as a plot device, and this is no exception. Plus, the entire story arc of the Blessed Siblings was so deeply fucked up that it really shook me because I was not expecting it at all, but I'll talk more about that in a bit.

Erenville, my love, he is my WoL's new best friend who I wasn't expecting to like that much but deeply and truly won me over by the end. I cannot begin to tell you how hard I cried in the Golden City when his story arc got fulfilled my god -- I am so easily swayed by good character writing, and the only other expansion that has made me weep like that was Shadowbringers, so I know that it did something right, because I'm not actually often moved by fiction like that. I hope he sticks around for a while, because I think his dour demeanor is such a fun addition to the team makeup. He's a quiet, calm presence that I think my WoL really appreciated, especially during the early parts when she was still upset about G'raha's decision to stay behind.

Fathers: The Expack

Maybe I'm biased, but familial trauma, ancestral trauma, and family ties that go above and beyond blood -- those are some of my favorite narratives to explore. And that really wasn't the direction I was expecting it to go, but it felt really good to get away from the heavy war overtones we had the past several expansions to get to something a little closer to home for a lot of us.

It was so interesting to really see these different family dynamics -- from Wuk Lamat and Koana, who grew up loved and happy and feeling worth existing despite how we find out that Koana was abandoned, and Wuk Lamat... wasn't abandoned, but believed she was -- to Zoraal Ja, who clearly internalized his father's love for his siblings in the worst possible way, and felt so entitled to his love and acceptance that he believed his siblings lesser and he believed that he was the only one who deserved his father's love and his father's throne. And it's so bizarre to see how his own insecurity bled into his own child, into the idea that he didn't deserve to be a father because he hadn't a kingdom and a legacy to hand down.

(We won't get into what other things I think about Gulool Ja's conception, as it's.... quite dark.)

Bakool Ja Ja and Mamook was also an insane twist that took me off guard. The fanatic worship of the Blessed Siblings turning into forced conception and likely forced weddings among the people who lived there was so deeply disturbing -- not to mention the catacombs of cremated babies like.... my god. Suddenly the desperation he had to win, and the way he had no idea what he wanted with the throne should he get it made complete sense. His father clearly hadn't raised a leader -- he'd just raised him as a warrior. How could he complete the tests Gulool Ja Ja set when they were all about community and learning to appreciate others, when his entire life he'd been raised to be perfect and superior, with no room for error lest he lose the love of his family that he so desperately craved?

The last few expacks were much more plot focused, which was fun and wonderful, but this one was far more focused on relationships and family and culture, and it was a really interesting shift that left me feeling so refreshed and, as we lead into the next series of patches and the next part of the story, I'm ready and eager to see where we go! As a writer myself, I am all about character, so it was a lot of fun to get to see these characters and see the story Square wove with them.

OVERALL THOUGHTS

I think overall this was a good start to a new story.

I think it's a hard shift to swallow at first, especially since we've all been used to very plot-heavy story-telling so far, but I really do think that this expack didn't completely fail. I think it is a beginning, and so we can't appreciate all the pieces we've put on the table yet. Think of it like an unfinished puzzle -- how can we appreciate the full picture, when we've only got the edge pieces put together up to now?

Yes, maybe keeping in mind that this is a start and not a finish colored my impressions the whole time -- but I think that's kind of the point? Don't compare this to the full, finished product that Shadowbringers and Endwalker were, compare it to the start of our story -- to A Realm Reborn, which is the equivalent here.

The story had all the strong character writing that Square Enix has given us in the past. The plot was slower, because they are trying to start another slow build, and so the pacing is different. The world was still beautiful, we had a lot of really fun gameplay, and I think we have an interesting hook to move forward on.

I think FFXIV Dawntrail was a success in all the places it mattered.

does anyone want my opinions on dawntrail

[ryssbelle]

Branching Timeline: Faron's Blessing 2

Sorry for the long wait, I'm sure you know why lol, I'm going to try to schedule myself better so that I can update both BT and DTBS in an orderly and quicker fashion. No promises tho lol also, witness the return of my bad writing lmao

@tortilla-of-courage @attllhak @kerto-p

LOZ Master Post

___

When Hylia had warned Zelda about something coming she had expected a horde of monsters, thundering footsteps trekking across the fields of Faron woods, she couldn’t imagine how she’d be able to defend herself and Link had that been the case. The weightless feeling in her chest seeing the face of her friend and would-be protector, Impa, was something she graciously welcomed, though a nagging feeling in the back of her mind told her this wasn’t what Hylia was talking about. The Sheikah woman before her looked to be on edge, glancing around her as if anything could be lurking around the corner, which wasn’t too out of the realm of possibility given the situation they were in.

“Impa! Are you okay? What are you doing over here?” Zelda exclaimed, her eyes shifting to the trees, scanning the foliage, if Impa had come here it could only mean one of two things: She was worried about them, or she’d seen Ghirahim come this way. Since Link and Zelda had left the temple to fulfill their duties together, Impa had been given the new duty of searching for and repelling Ghirahim. Of course should they run into him it would be good to have the woman by their side, but with her actively out in the field keeping him as far away from them as possible they, theoretically, should have nothing to worry about. Well other than Ghirahim finding out their ruse, then again that’s what Impa was for!

“Your Grace,” Impa began, quickly correcting herself when she’d noticed the grimace of discomfort on Zelda’s face, “Zelda, I’m sure you’re aware what me being here could mean, but I would suggest you remain calm.” Impa spoke gesturing with her hands as if to tell Zelda to keep her volume low, her eyes glancing behind the goddess reborn to look at the shivering hero behind her, the boy still locked in his trial. Zelda wrung her hands nervously, of course she knew what it would mean, she wished everyone would just get to the point instead of leaving her in nervous suspense constantly. “Now, I’m not sure if he saw either of you, but Ghirahim was in these woods, I lost sight of him near lake Floria-” Zelda was already groaning, her hands flying up to her face to rub anxiously at her forehead, fists digging at her eyes, and finally fingers dragging down her face. “Of course he had to be here! Of course! We can’t just have one little moment of peace can we?!” Zelda ran her hands through her hair, pulling at clumps as she began to pace in a small circle in annoyance. “I just wish he’d leave us alone! Maybe this time I’ll just kill him when I see him? Maybe then he’ll get the point!” Zelda ranted on to herself, Impa watching as the spirit maiden spiraled into what could only be described as muted madness. Impa had to put a stop to this. “Zelda!” She commanded, grabbing the girl by her shoulders forcing her to look into her eyes. “You need to calm down, I just wanted to warn you, you insisted you and Link could do this alone, and I allowed you, but if you’re going to lose your cool at even the mention of our enemy I’m going to have to insist on remaining by your side and his.” Zelda couldn’t help but feel a little hurt, she understood where Impa was coming from however. The woman was right, she couldn’t break down into a fit so easily at the mention of, currently, her mortal enemy, she had other people and things to worry about to let something like that get to her. Zelda took a calming breath, resting her hands at her sides, her eyes filled with determination. “That won’t be necessary.” Zelda spoke with conviction, earning a soft, proud, smile from Impa, who placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Good, I’ll take my leave now, just remember to stay on your guard, your life isn’t the only one at stake anymore.” With that she leapt into the forest most likely off to find the demon lord once more, Zelda felt only slightly more confident than she was before, of course, her confidence at the moment wasn’t at an all time high to begin with. With all her training at the knights academy, with all the foreboding dreams, and guidance from both Impa and her former self she still felt uneasy about the whole situation, from the beginning she knew what was at stake. That’s why she, Hylia, started this whole thing to begin with.. Her eyes drifted back to her lifelong best friend, she'd spared him glances before but seeing him now she finally started to realize something was wrong. Be it the pooling sweat on his brow or the way his hands shook on the hilt of his blade, she knew something was very wrong. She didn’t get a chance to question what it could be, the ground shaking with a roar of thunderous footsteps barrelling towards the pair, only one of them was in no position to fight. Zelda took her place in front of Link, guarding his body with hers, her rapier at the ready, there was no way she was going to let anything get near her champion.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Animate Kuji B Prize Tokuten Drama CD [Reiji・Kanato・Subaru]

Original title: B賞ドラマCD (カナト・レイジ・スバル)

Source: Diabolik Lovers Animate Kuji Tokuten Drama CD [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Katsuyuki Konishi, Kaji Yuki & Takashi Kondou

Translator’s note: Reiji suffering hours never end in the Sakamaki manor. Honestly, for how serious and low-key boring his HDB route is, Reiji is by far the most entertaining character in the early era tokuten CDs. He’s the only character who is actually trying to keep everything together but chaos just breaks loose every time lol.

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Subaru enters the kitchen.

*Thud*

*Rustle rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...!? The fuck’s goin’ on in here...?

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...Ah, fuck! ...Where am I supposed to walk...!?

Kanato: Subaru, is that you? 

Subaru: Uwaah...!? Kanato! Where the fuck did you just crawl out of...!? ーー Or rather, what are you doin’?

Kanato: Can’t you see? ...I’m looking for sweets!

Subaru: Haah...? Didn’t you have a cake of some sorts for dinner just earlier? 

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: ...I’m hungry...but I can’t find anything to snack on...Uu...Even though I’m starving...So why...? Uu...Sob...

Subaru: Argh...Geezー Shut the fuck up...I only came here to fetch a drink! Oi! Did you happen to across a bottle of mineral water?

Kanato: Don’t ask me. Look for that yourself.

Subaru: I can’t because you flipped the whole damn kitchen upside down!

Kanato: I can’t help you if I don’t know myself. ...Right, Teddy? I wonder why he’d lash out at me like that when I clearly said I don’t know? When he could make an effort to search for it himself, he just takes out his anger on me instead...That guy should just drop dead already.

Subaru: Che...! This is such a pain in the ass!

*Thud*

Kanato: Hm...I wonder why he’s there losing his cool in the corner by himself. Right, Teddy?

Subaru: Che...!

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: Haah...Ugh...Huh? ...Tsk.

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Ah! Found something!

*Rustle rustle*

Kanato: Oh...Crackers? ー Ugh.

He chucks them to the side.

Subaru: What’s the problem? You were searching for food, right?

Kanato: You really don’t understand, do you? I’m looking for sugary treats. I finally found something, but it turned out to be these bland-tasting crackers...Haah...Are the people in this house trying to starve me to death!?

Subaru: Ahー Everything has to be loaded with sugar for you, doesn’t it? Hm...?

Subaru walks over to the counter.

Subaru: The fuck’s this? A small container and a bottle...? There seems to be some sort of white powder inside? Sugar, maybe?

Kanato: ...!! Give that to me!!

Kanato snatches the bottle away from Subaru.

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...Uwah!? ...Oi, aren’t those the crackers you tossed away earlier?

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru: ...? D-Don’t tell me...!?

Kanato rips open the crackers and starts pouring the sugar on top.

Kanato: If I do this...Then the crackers will become sweet...Fufufu~ 

Subaru: No, wait! I said it might be sugar! But what if it’s something entirely different...?

Kanato: Haahn...

*Munch munch*

Subaru: Listen to me!!

Kanato continues eating.

Subaru: ...How is it?

Kanato: Fufu, it’s sweet...~

Subaru: Which means...It really was just plain sugar? The fuck. There wasn’t a label on it, so I thought that maybe Reiji left one of his shady concoctions laying ‘round. ーー In that case, I guess the liquid in this bottle is just plain old water as well. 

He opens the bottle.

Subaru: It’s transluscent and has no scent so...It should be fine, right?

*Gulp gulp*

Subaru: Haah...

Reiji enters the kitchen.

Reiji: What are the two of you doing in here this late at niーー 

Subaru: Che...Geh, Reiji!?

Reiji: Ah...What happened in here!? 

Kanato: ...

*Munch*

Kanato: I was only looking for some sweets.

Reiji: Ah, geez! I’ve told you before that your snacks are in the shelf over there in the back, haven’t I!? Your searching method is to blame here! ...Wait, Kanato...What is that you’re holding in your hand?

Kanato: I poured all of this sugar over the crackers and ate them. ...Fufu, it made them at least somewhat palatable, right, Teddy?

Reiji: All of it...!?

Subaru: Oi...Did we make a mistake?

Reiji: ...Why do you people always put everything in your mouth straight away!? That medicine is still in its testing phase, so I cannot predict the effeーー

*Cling*

Subaru: ...!? Ugh...

Kanato: Uu...

Subaru: My headーー!

Kanato: ...It hurts...! It feels like my head’s splitting in two...!!

Subaru: ...Aaaargh...!!

Reiji: ...And that’s exactly why I keep on telling you lot not to eat everything you see...

*Thud*

Reiji: ...?

Kanato: Ehehe~ Such lovely weather we’re having today~! It’s like Mr. Sun is smiling brightly at us~!

Reiji: K-Kanato...?

Subaru: Yeah, mate! On days like these, I just want to go for a nice, long run!

Reiji: Subaru!?

Kanato: Ooh~? Rei-pyon, didn’t see you there! ...What’s wrong~? Why are you making that strange face?

Subaru: Kanato! Rei-rei’s face always looks weird, remember? You shouldn’t tell him straight-up though.

Reiji: R-Rei...pyon? Rei-rei!? 

( Is this the medicine taking effect...? )

Subaru: Rei-rei! If you keep on making those troubled expressions, you’re only going to get even more wrinkles, you know? If somethin’ is weighin’ heavy on your mind, why don’t you join me outside for a round of soccer?

Reiji: ...I have no worries! I refuse to play soccer as well!

Kanato: Rather than playing soccer, why don’t you join me and Teddy and bask in the sunlight~? I’m sure it’ll be a blast!

Subaru: No! A healthy mind in a healthy body is key! You should play some soccer as well, Kanato. Ah! I guess the more, the merrier, right? I’ll go call the other guys as well! Hehe~!

Subaru runs towards the door.

Reiji: Ah...! Subaru! Halt!

Reiji stops him just in time.

*Rustle*

Reiji: ...Either way, we have to sort out this situation first. If you insist on playing soccer, please wait till later.

( If I let the other brothers see these two in their current state, things will only get even more troublesome. For now, it is most important to get a good grasp on the situation. )

I’ll start with you, Kanato.

Kanato: What’s wrong, Rei-pyon~?

Reiji: ...! ...Please stop using that disgusting nickname at once.

Kanato: Eeeeh~?

Reiji: ...

Kanato: Ehehe~ 

Reiji: I suppose I should retrieve the drug first and foremost. ...Kanato, please hand me those snacks.

Kanato: Eh...?

Reiji: ( I suppose he is still reluctant to hand over his sugary treats. However, the usual Kanato would most likely throw a tantrum here. I suppose I should push him to the very limit. )

Kanato. Hurry up and give them to me. I’m confiscating these! 

Reiji snatches the crackers from his hand.

Kanato: ...Ah! ...Uu.

Reiji: ( ...!? He’s not getting mad!? )

Kanato: Uu...Hic...Rei-pyon...I’m so sorry. Will you give me back my sweets if I promise I’ll be good...?

Reiji: Ah...N-No...I did not want an apology from you or anything...Here.

*Rustle*

Kanato: Ah~! Thank you, Rei-pyon!

Reiji: But like I said, no more of that nickname! ーー Well then, how about Subaru?

Subaru: Hah...Hah!!

Reiji: ( ...He’s doing sit-ups...!? )

I take my eyes off you for two seconds and what are you doing now!?

Subaru: Can’t you tell? Sit-ups! Nothin’ feels better than movin’ your body! 

Reiji: ( The drug affected him in this way, huh...? )

What happened to your usual self, Subaru? While it is more than fine you decided to stop destroying everything in your sight, this is creepy on a whole new level. 

Subaru: Hm? Taking out your anger on other things isn’t good, you know? If you’re got any worries, I’ll listen to you, okay? Come on, tell me!

Reiji: ...

 Subaru continues to do his sit-ups in the background.

Reiji: I didn’t think I’d ever hear those words coming from you...

( If I have to try and reason with them any longer, I will surely lose my mind. While I am still not certain about the exact effects, I should prioritize getting started on an antidote of some sorts. )

Kanato: Rei-pyon? Is something bothering you? Want some sweets?

Reiji: No, thank you. 

Subaru: Then want to go for a run? You’ll feel reborn afterwards!

Reiji: I am fine! ...Either way, I shall prepare an antidote at once, so just drink that!

*TIMESKIP*

Kanato: Uu...Sob...I’m hungry...Uu...

Subaru: I don’t remember leavin’ my room and comin’ here at all...Although I’m strangely exhausted for some reason? ...I wonder why?

Reiji: Haah...

Subaru: ...Hah? The fuck’s with that face, Reiji? You look like an old geezer.

Kanato: He is older than us, so of course he does, Subaru. Fufufu~

Reiji: ...Who do you think is to blame for that?

Subaru: ...Aah?

Kanato: Say, is dinner ready yet? Did you not hear me when I said I’m hungry earlier!?

Subaru: Ahー I could go for some food as well.

Reiji: Aah, god, I know! Fine! Whatever you do, don’t touch any of the bottles theーー

Subaru: Tsk...I’m thirsty as well. ...Oh! There’s a bottle right here!

*Gulp*

Reiji: ...Ah.

ーー THE END ーー

[rivalsforlife]

Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again

hi.

Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.

Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.

It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.

The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways. 

This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.

Introducing The Director

Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.

This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.

This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.

This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”

I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.

I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don’t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.

Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.

Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.

at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.

The Musical Begins

Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.

Transcript:

Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.

Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.

Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.

Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”

This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.

Then we enter the flashback time.

Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with. 

Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.

Transcript:

Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?

Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????

Ugh. Moving on.

Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.

Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.

The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.

She is not happy to see him.

Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.

Let’s Play A Matching Game

Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.

Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.

Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.

Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.

Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.

Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!

Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.

Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!

Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.

Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.

Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!

Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.

Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.

Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.

Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!

Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.

Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?

Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.

Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?

Edgeworth: Not me.

Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!

Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.

I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.

So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:

“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”

Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.

And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.

Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction

Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.

Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.

Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?

Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)

Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.

Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.

So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.

Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.

Leona tries to protest.

Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.

Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.

Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.

They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.

Back To The Murder

So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.

Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.

Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!

The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.

Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?

NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.

Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.

It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.

Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo

You may have seen this one before.

Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.

Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.

Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.

He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”. 

It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.

Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.

The Trial, Day 1

Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.

Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!

Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:

The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint. 

Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?” 

Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim. 

The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?

Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument. 

Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.

And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.

That at least manages to extend the trial another day.

This Totally Has To Be Illegal

After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.

Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...

Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?

Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.

So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.

If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?

I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?

Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket. 

bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor? 

Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?

The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.

AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.

ACT 2, FINALLY

The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.

Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!

sigh.

But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.

Then Phoenix says this.

Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?

CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??

Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.

Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.

Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.

The Class Trial

Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that. 

Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.

Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.

Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.

Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.

So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.

So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.

What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.

Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.

... moving on.

Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!

At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.

The Feenie Sweater

Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.

Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.

Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.

After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.

This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.

I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.

Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.

Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.

Leona: We promised we’d always be together.

Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.

Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...

So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.

“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”

Then the dancers keep moving.

THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.

This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay. 

This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”

and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”

“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”

“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”

And Person Three Got A Raise.

Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.

We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now

There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.

Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.

This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.

Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.

Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.

Doctor Ema

After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.

That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.

But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.

A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.

So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.

Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.

Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.

Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.

Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship. 

What a mess this world is.

The Trial, Part 2

Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.

Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.

As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.

They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.

Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!

In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.

Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”

It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine. 

Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.

Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.

Phoenix: Edgeworth!

So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.

Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.

Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.

Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.

Here is where things get weird.

Scalpels Can’t Kill People

So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.

Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.

This is the first major contradiction.

Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.

The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.

Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.

It is this:

Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?

...

...

...

... What?

So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.

Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.

Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???

This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!

Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People

This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.

Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.

So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.

1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.

2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?

3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.

All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.

... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?

The Case Finally Ends

god. we’re almost there.

The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.

She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.

Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.

So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”

How does Phoenix respond?

Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.

Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.

Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.

Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.

This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.

Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.

Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.

There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.

Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.

But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.

Dance Time!

This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.

Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”

Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.

Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.

Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.

But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:

Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.

I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.

Then at the very end, he sings this song.

Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!

Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?

Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.

Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.

Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!

[fabien-euskadi]

I was tagged by @thatdamnokie- thank you very much (I hope you are feeling better, albeit I suspect you aren't)

currently reading: “Dom Casmurro”, by Machado de Assis. It’s considered one of the great masterpieces of Brazilian literature - probably, THE definitive novel written in the land of Vera Cruz. Thank you for the suggestion, @shut-up-im-overthinking

favourite colour: I don’t have a favourite colour, and, to be honest, I have no idea why one should have one. However, since we are in the Pride Month (oddly enough the same month I was born), I chose the entire rainbow as a tribute to all forms of genuine and true love.

last song: “Reborn”, By Xandria Until now, I had never paid much attention to this symphonic metal band, but their new singer gave their sound a much-needed boost of energy, personality, and even a touch of catchiness - now, they are not just yet another symphonic metal band. And, let’s be honest, Ambre Vourvahis is simply breathtaking.

last film: To be brutally honest, I cannot remember. Depression is already deleting information for my brain - as if having deleted all the will to live was not enough…

sweet/spicy/savory: Depressed people tend to go for low-or-no-effort meals, and that usually means savoury - and extremely unhealthy - food.

currently working on: I should be working on many things, including a couple of PhD papers, but depression is hitting me with extreme violence… and that means I can barely do anything at all until I feel a touch (or a lot) better. I tried to work on my WIP “The Death of Miguel Guerreiro Murta”, but I wasn’t able to write a single line, as if all my will to live had been deleted. Maybe I should also delete myself as well, and, unnoticed, move to the land of the dead.

And now I tag @27paperlilies

oh snap i got tagged by @nereaddict​! yes i know you this was from a while ago and i started a whole new post but pls do not be mad ;-;

currently reading: one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus

favorite color:

last song: power of my love by elvis presley & jack white

last film:

austin butler is so gd fine i–

sweet/spicy/savory: savory!

currently working on: well it was at one point the backrooms piece but i honestly feel so bad most of the time that i don’t really… work on stuff, anymore. :( i’m a very lazy bad person, idk.

for my 9: @oceanssneverlisten, @briarchubnj, @hyllatavorianaldan, @fabien-euskadi, @bloodofthepen, @heck-fire, @starrstrike, @heartherfield​ & @naomiinyun​ (bonus tag goes to @circlesofbone​ love youuuu)