#but margot is worst of them in this regard
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i love that fact about her though cause most of my muses DO excel in some sort of fighting skill, if not most of them in some cases. jaina, connie, padmé, satine, the entirety of ofblasters, literally all of oflightsabers except lyra... they're all either trained or in the military in some way, shape, or form.
and then there's margot.
#ooc » sewing with glen miller on repeat#i've got maybe three? four? muses at the moment who are just not good at fighting or chose not to pursue those skills#but margot is worst of them in this regard#i think ella probably is the only one who choses to just not fight in any aspect#but margot would struggle to learn those skills even
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Margot - Creep Reader's worst ideal yan
Merging two ideas I had, Margot is a top surgeon/med student depending on period who may or may not be committing medical misconduct behind the scenes - and psychic. They've always had a good read on their patients - some better than their own families. Confident as they may be, the doctor face many trails in life. It's quite difficult to find true love with how many two faced individuals there are in the world. So many liars who weave their tall tales same as any true- it's sickening. How they longed for someone, anyone who remained true to themselves on all fronts. Fortunately for them - that special person just only door away.
"Ah- Good morning, Y/n! Out doing some early morning photography, I see?"
"....Please leave me alone..."
They didn't see it... walk away before they notice.
Ah, but they did. Their lense was still pointed at the scene of the crime. A car accident about a block away. That quiet, aloof neighbor of theirs was like a fly to a fresh kill in regards to tragedy... Unsettling to many, to Margot -
It was the cutest thing in the entire world ♡
Their bizarre desires for the macabre bled from their mind and into Margot's most nights. How exhilarating was it to witness that shut in who barely said a word let themselves run free with their madness in the safety on their own mind. Margot wanted to crack that shell and bring that true self to light. It must cause them great pain to hide away. Society can do that to a person. At last, Margot had found a face behind the mask they wished to cherish in full view. With their occupation it wouldn't take long to free them off their shakles - that they were sure of.
-
The young student clicks their tongue as their folder cascades across the floor, landing beside their neighbor's feet. Indifferent to their panic as the photos within spill out - their neighbor swallows a batted breath as they catch a glimpse of their contents
"Don't look!.... Ha, forgive me, Y/n. You shouldn't see something like that. Just some homework I snuck home to prepare for my exams. Grotesque, I know...All that blood and guts. You'll keep this between us, won't you?"
Only if you let me see....
"Sure, just stay away from me ."
Margot waits for them to shut their door before sliding a photo beneath the frame - counting the seconds until their dear neighbor finds it and loses face of their false self once again. They find it difficult to sleep without savagery of their love's twisted mind to keep them company.
#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere scenarios#yandere blurb#yandere insert#yandere#yandere oc#tw yandere#yandere character#yandere drabble#Margot my oc
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Hannigram Fanfiction Recommendations
So, I caved in, and this is a list of Hannigram fanfictions that I really like that I still remember the main plot after years. A lot of them are very long and very good to get lost in, because that's the best feeling ever when reading fanfics really.
Again, they are all complete. All of them featuring killer!Hannibal no matter how AU it is. All of them has a bunch of important tags you should read before reading it. For my complete Hannigram bookmarks, they are here.
Paragon by BloodyWar2411
When Hannibal met Will Graham (the man who had, three years prior, been mistaken for the Chesapeake Ripper), he expected amusement. What he got was his first taste of obsession. Dark and bitter in the back of his throat but achingly sweet on the tongue. He knew at once that this feeling, this Man, would consume him. And Hannibal would consume Will right back
This fic is so delicious; it's so dark and kinky. I think it has any kinks you wish for in it. Basically a found family trope, but what if all of us are serial killers. This fic says fuck to power imbalance hater and turns it into a game. God knows how many Hannibal fics I've read, and this has the best Abigail. Anyway, 🤌 through and through.
One, Two, Three by Severus_divides_into_H
An excellent Hunger Games AU. I love how Hannigram are slowly coming together. The ending is unexpected yet made me went aww.
Five Times Hannibal Visits Will and One Time He's Already Home (or: Coffee Cake) by bones_2_be
When Will tells Hannibal to leave at the end of Digestivo, he goes. And then, a few years later, he shows back up. They have long conversations, drink a lot of wine, at the end of it all they find something that works.
This is very intimate with stuck-in-a-cabin feel to it. I remember how I love reading it at night, it's fitting.
Through The Aftermath by heartandthehead
Following their descent down the precipice, Will is more than eager to explore his newly realized capacity for righteous violence. So when he catches a whiff of a string of seemingly unrelated homicides, he and Hannibal have no choice but to follow through the hunt.
An adventurous fic where Will is trying to embrace his newfound blood lust by hunting bad men. Featuring a team work with Freddy Lounds, which I think should happen more 😌
54609 by claritylore
In a world where criminals are reconditioned with painful electrical and surgical therapies and then put into service catching other criminals. A convicted murderer from the Baltimore State Home for the Reformed Criminal Element is sent to the FBI to assist on the Minnesota Shrike case. Stripped of any knowledge of his former life, without so much as a name, 54609 has little choice but to use his unique empathy skills to help the FBI crack the case.
Along the way, he encounters the FBI consultant psychiatrist who got him brought in on the case, and slowly he comes to realise that Dr Hannibal Lecter's interest in him goes far beyond a professional curiosity. Can he find his lost memories and discover who he once was and, more importantly, who Dr Lecter really is?
A clever dystopian-ish AU with a great twist 🤌
Losing You Terrifies Me by A_David
Basically Will got amnesia after the fall and he keeps trying to kill Hannibal when he relapses. The story matches the title very well; it's so heartbreaking and frustrating. Featuring Morgan (Alana and Margot's son) and Wally (Molly's son) bonding with each other. They're supporting characters but are written so well. The sequel has just started, but the first one is complete enough to read.
The Chesapeake Bay by HigherMagic
Aka thee classic Hannigram reality TV AU. So, they put Hannibal cast in isolated house where each of them is hiding something. Love love this. A lot of murders. It has classic thriller movies feel to it.
Held in the Highest Regard by (again) HigherMagic
What happens when a group of serial killers pick the absolute worst targets? A The Strangers (2008) AU with hints of comedy because Hannigram being the most dramatic couple of the century.
Dread and Hunger by LiaS0
Where Will Graham is a lot greener, still a university student, and keeps getting poetry from the most famous serial killer. A lot of stalking, gaslighting, and age difference 🤌
Hitchhiker's Guide to Murder by bokunojinsei
LOVE this series. So, Will is a serial killer who poses as hitchhiker to find his victims but one day Hannibal gave him a ride. They're basically falling in love watching the other killing others. The second story is set during Mardi Gras where they ofc try to kill more people.
The Estate by (again) bokunojinsei
Or: What if Hannibal hadn't tried to eat Will after he drugged him in Florence? What if he'd decided to run away with him instead?
In contrast with the previous title, this one is very calm, very therapeutic, a character study, with a mind game ofc.
Mark me not a Savage by KatherineKrawl
An iconic a/b/o fic (no mpreg) where Hannigram do mind games with other casts to get out of the prison. I remember there's a scene between Hannibal and Molly I love so much. The author also played a lot with what being true mates mean.
The Sacrificial Lamb by princesskay
Five years after Hannibal and Will disappeared, they are located in Spain, where all evidence points to Hannibal holding Will as his prisoner. Circumstantial evidence isn't enough to prove whether or not Will was complicit in Hannibal's crimes. It's up to Alana and Jack to figure out if Will is suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or if his attachment to his accused abuser is true love. It's up to Hannibal to once more find a way out of the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.
An icon and a must-read tbqh. The prose is so beautiful and it really brings you into a journey.
Pioneer to the Falls by eonism
Another icon. The ultimate Lecter-Graham child fic (not mpreg). The second title, Child of Wolf, is one of the best Silence of the Lambs adaptation ever. And as always, fuck Jack Crawford
The Mongoose and the Mouse by Hiding Now (HidingNow)
What if Hannibal suggested Will to go to Disney Land (with him ofc lol) as part of his therapy? It's cute, it's fluffy, Hannibal is still serial killer. Serious research on DisneyLand attractions. Best crack treated seriously ever.
their beaks not yet turned red by chaparral_crown
Will stares at the bird. The bird stares back. In its beak, a very finely embroidered cloth, and in that, the tiniest of soft fists pushing forward from a folded corner.
“Don’t you dare,” Will says, crouching, hand that is not currently cradling an overly large pour of whiskey pointed at the bird to ward it off.
After Hannibal is arrested and the trial dates are set, the stork visits Will Graham. With it, it brings a baby, a legally binding birth certificate, and a hope chest full of gifts for her. Nobody except Will thinks this is weird.
this is my last fic before I was caught by IWTV. it's so funny, the magical realism is amusing.
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back on my bullshit with an addition to this post.
so, i established why i believe hannibal still cannibalizes people after he kills them, out of honor for his sister. and that's why he wants to eat will, etc.
but ive been thinking about how that further pushes the whole "we are conjoined" narrative. because hannibal does it out of necessity, will does it because he wants to. will has no reason to eat human flesh and organs and enjoy it at all, he just does it because he likes it.
obsession cannot exist without desire - hannibal's need to consume cannot survive without will's wanting to be consumed. hannibal's need to honor cannot survive without will's desire to be seen and loved as he is.
i think it just plays into will being hannibal's dark mirror; a reckless, self-destructive man with the urge to be accepted and welcomed without question as opposed to a put-together, calculated one who spent years refining himself and creating a different part of himself that solidified his place in society.
im sure somewhere, deep down, hannibal sees will as his opposite, but still as his equal. he met hannibal's needs with the part of himself that wanted to know what those necessities felt like, what being perceived beyond the public eye would look like.
it makes this odd codependency in both men - hannibal needs will to want him and will wants hannibal to need him. that's why hannibal being rejected by will and giving himself up in spite of that was so much harder on will than it was on hannibal.
hannibal knew will would come for him. he was very, very sure of the fact. will, on the other hand, did his very best to distance himself from it all. he married and had a child, a perfect suburban life that his appealed to his projection. but he wasn't fulfilled, he wasn't complete. there was something missing. he couldn't tell if hannibal needed him anymore. he'd promised not to think of him again, but he wanted someone to need that part of himself that he repressed so badly that it was nearly impossible.
hannibal had already proved without a doubt how much he needed will, and that's what will wanted. he wanted to be needed, to be useful for nothing but companionship, to be loved by someone desperately, and he got that from no one.
alana saw him as a broken teacup, something for her to try and fix. jack and beverly saw him as a tool to close cases and help the forensics team. margot saw him as someone who could give her an heir. molly saw him as only the projection he showed her, and didn't ache for the other parts the way he needed.
nothing fulfilled that ache quite like hannibal "it took divine intervention to stop them" lecter.
will wanted hannibal to need him. he wanted to dine with hannibal. he wanted to step inside him and think with his brain, see with his eyes. hannibal was drawn to the fact that will wanted that, from him, and the obsession stemmed from will's first few words to him - i don't find you interesting, dr. lecter. his need for will to want him was brought on by will very clearly beginning to reject his becoming in their earliest meetings - hannibal needed will to want more of him and will wanted hannibal to give him more.
i think that's why, furthermore, that hannibal wants to try and protect/honor will the way he couldn't mischa. the worst thing he can think of in regards to losing will is not death, but being unwanted.
that's why the cliff scene makes sense too, hannibal letting will push the two of them off the cliff instead of pulling will down with him - it was will's choice. he could die with hannibal or he could let hannibal go.
and he chose hannibal.
@lesbian-hannibal @craqueluring @7x16pm @shatteredlesbian
#back on my bullshit#kalypso shut the fuck up#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#hannibal#hannibal lecter#will graham#mads mikkelsen#hugh dancy#hannigram#nbc hannigram#murder husbands#hannibal and will#hannibal x will#will and hannibal#will x hannibal#hannibal parallels#hannibal meta#meta#hannibal analysis#long analysis#will graham analysis#hannibal lecter analysis#hannigram analysis#i could analyze this scene so hard#kuroshika.txt#[ this is all i've ever wanted for you ]
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Michael After Midnight: The Films of Quentin Tarantino
There are few directors out there as ridiculously praised and extremely controversial as Quentin Tarantino. He’s done nothing his whole career but release films that garner critical acclaim and massive fanbases due to the stellar acting and writing within his films, but at the same time he’s been relentlessly criticized for his excessive use of racial slurs, his excessive homages to the point of plagiarism, and his habit of inserting his fetishes into every single one of his movies. What fetishes do I mean? Let’s just say his films have a lot of sole, and it would be no easy feet to go toe-to-toe with how in your face he is about what he likes.
While the man does have his problems (don’t get me started, I’m here to review movies, not gossip) and his style certainly isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, I’ve found myself enjoying his work a lot ever since I was a teenager, and his films are what pushed me into checking out a lot of more obscure films in the exploitation genre; in particular, I’m a pretty big fan of blaxploitation thanks to Tarantino’s work, and I doubt I would’ve ever checked it out if not for his constant homages. I can’t really hate a guy who helped make me aware of Pam Grier, can I?
What’s most impressive is that out of his ten films there’s not one I would say is genuinely “bad.” Sure, there’s at least one I think is a boring, middling affair, and there are a couple of heavily flawed but still solid films, but there isn’t a single awful movie in his filmography. That’s honestly pretty impressive, especially considering the sort of weird throwback films he makes. After finally sitting down and watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood recently, I decided it was finally time to bite the bullet and do what was a long time coming on this blog: Review Tarantino’s movies. And then I just decided, hey, why not review them all at once, as an homage to Schafrillas Productions and his director rankings? Oho, see, I can homage things too!
To be clear here, I’m only reviewing the films Quentined and Tarantined by the man himself; the “Tarantinoverse” is a bit more expansive than his own filmography, as True Romance (which he wrote) is canon and Machete, Machete Kills, From Dusk Til Dawn, Hobo with a Shotgun, Planet Terror, Thanksgiving, and the Spy Kids movies are all part of the “show within a show” side of his world, but those are all topics for another time. Right now, it’s all Tarantino baby! Now let’s get on to the actual ranking, and pray that I don’t put a foot in my mouth with these opinions.
10. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood
I feel pretty safe in calling this Tarantino’s worst film. It’s not necessarily awful or anything, it has good qualities to it, but it takes every problem Tarantino’s style has and cranks it up to 11.
The film is long and dialogue-heavy, with lots of that classic Tarantino writing, but while individual scenes are good such as when Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is filming a scene with a little girl or Brad Pitt’s character goes to the ranch the Manson Family are holed up at they never really feel like they congeal into a cohesive narrative, instead feeling more like a long string of vignettes. This is especially bad in regards to Margot Robbie’s Sharon Tate, whose numerous scenes really add nothing to the movie but constant looming reminders that Helter Skelter is going to happen and lots of shots of Robbie’s feet. The excessively padded runtime is so bad that when you finally get to the part where the tables are turned on the Manson Family, a historical twist that should feel fun and cathartic, it comes off as too little, too late instead.
It’s really a shame the film is so meandering, because in almost every other aspect it really shines. Every actor is giving it their all; Pitt and DiCaprio are absolutely fantastic, Robbie brings charm even to her filler role, and every single bit part actor is fully committed and leaves a mark. Standouts include Dakota Fanning as the de facto head honcho of the Family when Manson is out and Mike Moh as Bruce Lee in a scene that is at once deeply disrespectful to one of history’s greatest action stars and also very funny. This is a film you can tell everyone involved gave a shit about.
But for me, it’s not enough for me to really love the film. I like a lot about the movie for sure, but I just hate how nothing ever really comes together in a satisfying way. Maybe if a bit of the fat was trimmed I would have a higher opinion of the movie, but as it is three hours of vignettes (even well-acted ones) is truly excessive. It’s mid at worst, but for Tarantino that’s still pretty shocking when everything else he’s done is above average at worst.
9. Death Proof
This is a truly underrated film, but frankly, it’s easy to see why it is that way. This half of the double feature that was Grindhouse is a throwback to films that were actually two movies spliced together, and it has all the issues that entails. The first half of the film is a more grounded, dialogue-heavy buildup to a terrifying conclusion, while the second half is a wild and crazy action and stunt showcase, and the two halves feel at odds with each other…which is by design, but still.
This might be a hot take, but I find the slow burning first half to be the superior part of the film. As much as I love Tarantino’s insane action films, Kurt Russell’s portrayal of the sinister Stuntman Mike is just just utterly gripping; he is easily one of the best villains in Tarantino’s filmography. The whole first half establishes him really well, building up the anxiety until he finally gets to show the girl he leaves with just how well he death proofed his car. He’s just so damn cool.
And then comes the second half where he’s reduced to a bit of a chump. And this probably wouldn’t be nearly as bad if the protagonists up against him were compelling, but they’re not. They’re a bunch of girls who are boring at best and relentlessly unpleasant at worst; the fact they leave behind one of their friends to an uncertain (but likely unpleasant) fate at the hands of a creepy redneck is especially appalling. Beatrix Kiddo they ain’t.
This is a wildly uneven film, so I can see why it didn’t find its audience right away, but I think these days it had garnered a minor cult following. If you can handle the flawed second half, this is still a really good movie with a captivating villain performance that more than makes up for its shortcomings, but I definitely can’t justify putting it any higher on this list.
8. Inglourious Basterds
Oh, this might be a controversial one. This movie is the same sort of beast as OUATIH, which is why I have it so low, but with one crucial difference: It does everything better. Yes, this movie is long and a bit meandering, but it always feels like it’s moving towards a final goal. Yes, it ends with a history-altering plot twist, but this one might be the most cathartic one of all time. And yes, there’s gratuitous feet shots, but at least they’re in plot-relevant scenes.
Of course, the best thing about the movie is the villain, Hans Landa. Christoph Waltz’s big American breakout is one of the most compelling villains of the 2010s, a charismatic, cunning, self-serving Nazi bastard who you really want to see get what’s coming to him. I might be inclined to call him the best Tarantino villain of all time.
I think what weirdly brings the film down is the titular Basterds themselves, and not because they ultimately feel superfluous to the plot; it’s the same sort of thing as Raiders of the Lost Ark, them being absent wouldn’t have changed much but we also wouldn’t have much of an exciting adventure. My issue is that Brad Pitt aside they are just not interesting or compelling at all. You really need to work hard to sell attempted filmmaker Eli Roth as the ultimate Jewish badass, and the film doesn’t really deliver. If only Adam Sandler took the role as was the original vision; we really were robbed. It’s all the worse because it cuts away from the actual compelling plot with Shosanna for these schmucks.
To be clear, I don’t think this is a bad film by any stretch of the imagination, but I find it falls short of the hype around it. I’ve seen it described as movie with a lot of great scenes that never really comes together to be a great movie, and I mostly agree with that assessment; there’s so much to love here, but also so much I don’t care about. It’s definitely worth watching but it’s also where you can see the seeds for the problems with OUATIH planted.
7. The Hateful Eight
This isn’t a Tarantino film held in a particularly high regard; it’s not exactly hated, but it’s not what anyone would call their favorite either. Its contentious nature boils down to something apparent right in the title: Every character in this movie is a fucking asshole. It can be genuinely hard to get invested in these people when they’re a big collection of liars, killers, sadists, criminals, racists, and rapists.
Now, if you can stomach these nasty characters, what you’re left with is “John Carpenter’s The Thing… but a Western!” And I have to admit as a huge fan of The Thing, this is a very solid reimagining of the concept in a grounded setting. I do wish there was any character to root for here, but watching a group of people slowly tearing each other apart in a claustrophobic, isolated setting is still fun to watch. I don’t think it’s nearly as good or insightful as Carpenter’s movie, but very few movies are.
This is definitely a movie I can see people hating more than the previous two films, but I feel like this movie is more consistent than Basterds or Death Proof. Those movies have higher highs, but this movie never hits the lows they do, and even if his character is a massive asshole Samuel L. Jackson is always great to see in a Tarantino flick. Plus that brief appearance from Channing Tatum is great, especially with how it ends. This is a very solid film, but “very solid” is about as high as the praise I’ll give it will get.
6. Reservoir Dogs
Tarantino’s directorial debut, and boy is that readily apparent. It does a good job at establishing hallmarks of his style, like the sorts of conversations his characters have, their love of racial slurs, non-linear storytelling, and his trend of casting himself as a douchey minor character. It does everything fairly well, and I’d go as far as to call it one of the best directorial debuts ever… and that’s about it, really.
Like this is a very good film with strong performances—Michael Madsen and Steve Buscemi being the standouts—but it definitely feels less refined than his later works with the same style. His sophomore film just completely blows this one out of the water, to the point it’s hard to muster up the interest to revisit this as opposed to watching Pulp Fiction for the hundredth time. It’s not that this film is bad; it’s just that Tarantino’s later films do what this one does better.
It’s definitely a good film, maybe even great, but there’s clear room to improve. Hell, there wasn’t a single shot of a woman’s feet in the whole movie! Tarantino was slacking.
5. Kill Bill: Vol. 2
Now we’re in to the really great movies. And yes, while it doesn’t keep up the energy of the first film, I would definitely call this a great movie.
Where the first volume was driven by action, this one is more driven by talking, and thankfully the characters are saying a lot of interesting things here (the standout being Bill’s media illiteracy in regards to Superman, which reveals a lot about his character). There’s also the reveal of Beatrix Kiddo’s name as well as her backstory, and there are some standout moments like Beatrix escaping from being buried alive and the tense final conversation with Bill. Overall, the film does a fantastic job at fleshing the story out and expanding our understanding of the characters.
Like I said, though, it just doesn’t keep up the energy of the first film. Budd is great and serves as a more psychological opponent, burying Beatrix alive as a way to test if she has the resolve to finish her quest for revenge, but both Elle and Bill himself are dealt with in a rather anti-climactic manner. It says a lot that O-Ren, one of Bill’s former lackeys, put up a grander and more impressive fight than her boss did. While I do appreciate the more philosophical approach, it’s hard not to be miffed when a duology called “Kill Bill” doesn’t kill Bill in a more grandiose way befitting the character.
Obviously, I don’t think it brings the film down much, and this is still a good conclusion to the story. I just can’t help but feel it could’ve amped things up just a bit, y’know?
4. Jackie Brown
This is probably the weirdest film in Tarantino’s filmography, being an adaptation of a book that lacks a lot of his usual style and features a lot of people he didn’t work with afterwards (like Robert De Niro and Pam Grier). This has led to a lot of people praising it as one of Tarantino’s best works for being unique among his oeuvre… and also a lot of people deriding it for how different it is from his usual style.
I definitely think it’s up there with his best works, but I don’t think it’s the absolute best. It’s sort of like how I see Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies; they’re great films (well, the first two anyway) but I can’t in good conscience hold them up as the best Batman media because they ultimately lack a lot of what makes me love Batman as a character. And this film lacks a lot of what makes me love a Tarantino movie; it’s a fantastic, realistic crime drama, but that’s not really what I’m watching Tarantino for, you know?
Still, its placement on this list should tell you I still see this as a must-watch. Starring Grier alone makes it worth checking out, and it definitely showcases Tarantino has far more range as a filmmaker than you’d expect.
3. Django Unchained
Right from the opening song, you can tell this is going to be an epic movie. Tarantino truly nailed the Western on his first go around, adding his own spin to the genre and making a truly stellar film. However, it’s not without a few issues.
The main cast is fantastic. We have Christoph Waltz as a noble and heroic abolitionist, an atypical role he pulls off flawlessly; Samuel L. Jackson as a sinister house slave who is all about licking the boot that treads on him; and of course Leonardo DiCaprio as a hammy, egotistical slave owner, a stellar villain role that should have nabbed him an Oscar. Even minor roles are great, with Don Johnson appearing as a plantation owner early on and Jonah Hill of all people popping up as a proto-Klansman.
You might notice I didn’t mention Jamie Foxx as the titular Django. That’s because, unfortunately, he’s a bit of an issue with the film. It’s not Foxx’s performance; he makes Django cool and likable, and his awesome trademark Tarantino roaring rampage of revenge in the third act sells him as a truly badass character. No, the issue is the narrative seems to seriously sideline him in favor of Waltz’s character, to the point for large swaths of the film he feels a bit like a side character in his own story. I don’t find it to be a huge issue, but it can be frustrating, especially since this is a very long movie and a few scenes drag on a bit longer than necessary. You really couldn’t give the title character a bit more to do until the last half hour, Quentin?
Still, I don’t think its issues hold it back all that much. This is an incredibly fantastic film whose highs easily overshadow its frustrating lows. Frankly, if any Tarantino movie deserves a sequel, it would be this one; I think Django has a lot of interesting stories in him, and a film where he actually gets to be the central character the whole time would be great.
2. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
This right here is pretty damn close to being my absolute favorite Tarantino film. Where something like OUATIH is all of Tarantino’s flaws compounded into one film, this is all of his strengths together in one film. Fantastically violent action, stellar casting with not a single weak performance, an awesome soundtrack, tons of great homages to the works that inspired it, non-linear storytelling used effectively, and more style in a single frame than some movies have in their entire runtime.
Frankly, I don’t have a lot of issues with the movie, though I kind of don’t like how all the action is front loaded while all the character insight and dialogue gets shoved into the second part. It’s nothing that makes me think less of either film, but I think maybe sprinkling more insight into who the Bride is in this movie and putting some more action in the second part would keep the sequel from feeling a bit anti-climactic. I also wish we got more of Vernita Green, the first assassin we see dispatched onscreen and the one who gets the least characterization; with a third film increasingly unlikely at this point, meaning we won’t ever see her daughter seek her vengeance, it’s a shame we don’t get at least a little more of a look into who she is as a person like we did with Budd and especially O-Ren.
Aside from that, though? This is Tarantino at his best, and Uma Thurman’s crowning achievement as an actress, one that cements her as action royalty alongside the greats like Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Weaver. There’s just one film Tarantino did that, objectively, is a much better film, and I’m sure as soon as you saw this ranking you knew exactly what it’d be...
1. Pulp Fiction
Of course this takes the top spot. Was there ever any doubt? This movie is everything Tarantino is about rolled into one supremely satisfying package.
The cast is nothing short of phenomenal. We have Bruce Willis in his prime, we’ve got John Travolta pulling out of a career slump, we’ve got Uma Thurman and Ving Rhames in roles that put them on the map, and we have a veritable buffet of talent in minor roles, the most memorable of which is Christopher Walken telling a child the delightful story of a pocket watch’s journey home from war. There’s not a bad performance here. But of course the real superstar is Samuel L. Jackson, who gave a career-defining performance as Jules, the baddest motherfucker around (it says so on his wallet).
The great performances wouldn’t matter much if not for the great script, though. The dialogue in this film is unreal with how good it is, with characters having very odd yet also very realistic and natural conversations. Jules and Vince discussing burgers, for instance, is one of the most memorable sequences in the film… and it’s just them driving! Some of the writing is a little contentious (did you really need to have your character say the N-word fifty times, Quentin?), but none of it is really bad.
I will say Tarantino as Jimmy is one of my few issues with the film, but also an issue I kind of like anyway. His acting is a wonky and there is genuinely no reason why he should be spouting off all these racial slurs (even in-universe, since his buddy Jules and his wife are black), but the sheer audacity of the whole thing saves it. Still, I can’t help but feel the scene hasn’t aged as gracefully as a lot of the film, and the amateur performance from Tarantino sticks out all the more because he is standing right next to two of the most talented actors ever.
Another aspect of the film I think has aged pretty poorly is the gay hillbilly rapists, but I don’t think this aspect is as cut and dry as “hey maybe the white director who has little acting training shouldn’t play the guy who says the N-word.” On the one hand, having the only queer characters in your movie being depraved rapists is not a good look, though this was par for the course for the 90s. On the other hand, the movie treats Marsellus getting raped with the same level of deadly seriousness that a woman in that position would receive in a film. That’s a pretty bold, progressive plot point, especially since men getting raped (especially male-on-male) was and still is used as a joke. And watching the movie in a day and age with tons of queer characters in media does soften the blow a bit, because these aren’t the only gay characters you’ll see in fiction anymore. I think it’s important to have discussions about these sorts of archaic portrayals of queers in film, but I don’t think this breaks the movie.
In modern times the film has gotten a reputation as a “red flag” film loved by toxic guys, and I think that’s unfair; is it the movie’s fault dudebros fail to see the movie is a refutation of crime and violence? Think about it: The only person in the film who gets an unambiguously happy ending is the one who has a spiritual awakening and abandons his criminal ways to walk the Earth. Every other major character pays in some way for their continued violent ways: Butch goes through Hell and ends up in exile, Marsellus Wallace gets raped, Mia overdoses and nearly dies, and Vince does die. Hell, there’s an entire segment where Jules and Vince are repeatedly chastised for careless violence causing a huge mess; as you may recall, Jules’ pal Jimmy was not too keen to find Phil LaMarr dead in his garage, and had some choice words to say about it. Stupid people see the blood and slurs and take it at face value, but the narrative itself tells these sorts they’re well and truly fucked because when you live by the sword, you die by the sword.
Of course, my favorite interpretation of the film is that it is espousing the belief that Beatles fans are superior to Elvis ones, as an extension of Mia’s comment in a deleted scene that you’re either an Elvis person or a Beatles person. Vince is clearly an Elvis guy, and he is presented as an unprofessional, careless buffoon who causes numerous issues and ends up dying due to his own inattentiveness; meanwhile, Jules is vaguely implied to be the proverbial “Beatles guy” (he calls the robber in the diner “Ringo”) and escapes the film unscathed. This is even funnier when you consider that one of Tarantino’s first onscreen roles was as an Elvis impersonator in Golden Girls, something that implies he might be an Elvis guy himself, which would make the film the most epic act of self-deprecation ever.
This is one of the greatest sophomore releases from a director ever, and one of the greatest films of the 90s. This film frequently finds its way to the top of “best films of all time” lists, and with good reason; it is, to this day, just that good. I think there’s a temptation to call any of his other films his magnum opus due to just how acclaimed and pervasive in pop culture this film is, but it got that way for a reason. It is a damn good crime story with all sorts of twists and turns and plenty of stuff for viewers to ruminate on and interpret as they please. Hell, I thought I liked Kill Bill more than it until I rewatched it, but boy does this just blow even that masterpiece out of the water.
If nothing else, the film is incredible for one simple reason: Tarantino managed to insert his foot fetish into the film without it feeling as needlessly gratuitous as it is in some later films! Bravo, Tarantino!
#Michael After Midnight#Review#movie review#Quentin Tarantino#Reservoir Dogs#Pulp Fiction#Jackie Brown#Kill Bill#Death Proof#The Hateful Eight#inglourious basterds#once upon a time... in hollywood#django unchained#action#crime#drama#exploitation#grindhouse#feet
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SXSW 2023: A Small Light
The official synopsis for “A Small Light:” “Based on an inspiring true story, Miep Gies was young, carefree and opinionated — at a time when opinions got you killed ― when Otto Frank asked her to help hide his family from the Nazis during WWII." "Told with a modern sensibility, A SMALL LIGHT shakes the cobwebs off of history and makes Miep’s story feel relevant, forcing audiences to ask themselves what they would have done in Miep’s shoes; and in modern times, asking if they would have the courage to stand up to hatred. Some stood by, Miep stood up.” The powerful, eight-part limited series is produced by ABC Signature and Keshet Studios. “A Small Light,” an 8-part series, premieres Monday, May 1, at 9/8c on National Geographic with two back-to-back episodes The series stars Bel Powley as Miep and Liev Schreiber as Otto Frank. Anne Frank is portrayed by 17-year-old British actress Billie Boulet (“The Worst Witch,” “The Power”) and her older sister, Margot, is played by Ashley Brooke (“The White House Plumbers,” “Troop Zero”). Ashley shared during the Q&A that her own grandmother was a Holocaust concentration camp survivor. The opening episodes of the series build the character of Miep. “A Small Light” is the story of Miep Gies ; Born. Hermine Santruschitz. 15 February 1909. Vienna, Austria-Hungary (Now Austria) ; Died, 11 January 2010 (2010-01-11) (aged 100)in Hoorn, Netherlands. Miep was sent to Amsterdam from her native Vienna, Austria to be raised by the Gies family because her health was fragile. Her nuclear family felt it was in her best interests to relocate her to Amsterdam. There she could receive medical care and enjoy a generally better quality of life. She remained in Amsterdam for the rest of her life. Miep, as portrayed by Bel Powley (“The Morning Show,” “The King of Staten Island,” “White Boy Rick“) seems carefree and lighthearted and not that interested in either working or settling down. Her adopted family has conversations with her about the possibility of Miep marrying her adopted brother, to alleviate the hardship for the family as they continue to support Miep during war-time. This detail about Miep’s potential marriage to someone she regarded as her brother was factual. It was uncovered during research by show creators Tony Phelan and Joan Rater, a married couple. Miep's brother being gay, however, was a poetic license, based on the gay community’s fervent support for the Resistance in Amsterdam during WWII. The co-creators also shared that their extensive research for the series was all donated to the Anne Frank House/Museum at the end of filming. Joan arrived late for the Q&A due to flight delays. She explained that she and her husband were touring the Anne Frank home in Amsterdam. They became intrigued by the untold story of Miep Gies, the young woman who stepped up to help hide Otto Frank and his family when the Nazis invaded the Netherlands. The sets were exact recreations of the space in which the Franks hid; exterior shots of the street were filmed on location in Amsterdam. Miep is naïve about how bad things will become for Jewish residents of the Netherlands. (“Hitler won’t come here. We’re neutral.”) She is, at first, among those Dutch citizens who cannot believe that the Germans will invade their peaceful city and country. Others, who are more practical, are convinced that Hitler will, in fact, invade. May 10-15, 1940: The Queen fled to London and the Netherlands fell to the Nazis in five days. Miep is proven wrong in her optimistic belief that “all will be well.” She becomes very active in helping Jews go into hiding, not only helping the Franks build a secret hideaway above Otto’s Opetka office but also helping hide other Jewish families in the city. Once the Franks are in hiding, securing food for them will fall to Miep, and it is not an easy task since ration books are the order of the day. Miep, simultaneously, has a romance with a bookish young man named Jan, played by Joe Cole (“Peaky Blinders”). Jan tells Miep that he is actually already married to someone else, but just doesn’t have enough money to finalize the divorce. That was an odd beginning to their courtship. (His haircut was even odder.) Miep is shown ditching Jan at a club, as she initially found his bookish ways (he is reading Franz Kafka’s “Metamorphosis”) boring. Ultimately, the couple discover they have many shared interests and they become a couple. Jan is played by Joe Cole (“Against the Ice,” “The Ipcress File”). As the couple becomes more and more involved in the Dutch Resistance—Miep in their neighborhood and Jan banding together with like-minded co-workers (he is a social worker)—the couple works together to solve problems such as how to secure extra ration books in order to feed the nine people hiding in the upper area above Otto Frank’s Opetka offices, accessed via a fake bookcase. It falls to the efforts and goodwill and chutzpah of Good Samaritans such as Miep and Jan to hide and provide for the persecuted Jews. Miep hid the Franks for over 2 years. The Franks went into hiding on July 5, 1942. During that time, Miep was also helping hide other families. At one point, the Franks’ Jewish dentist, Dr. Pfeffer (Noah Taylor) must go into hiding with the Franks and their guests, and the Van Pels family also moves in. A line in the script, when husband Jan suggests that Miep should have shared her decision with him before saying yes to Otto Frank (Liev Schreiber with his hair shaved back to mid-pate), is, “I didn’t think I needed to consult you before agreeing to save someone’s life.” From the stage during the Q&A, Joan Rater shared with the audience that she and her husband (co-creator Tony Phelan, who directed 3 episodes and scripted others) have a son about the age that Miep was when she was asked to help hide the Franks. It was being in Amsterdam and thinking about the way in which their own son might react that was the genesis of the largely untold story of Miep Gies. POTENTIAL SPOILERS Most of us are familiar with “The Diary of Anne Frank.” Only Otto survived being imprisoned. Edith (the mother) died at Auschwitz. Anne and Margot were transferred to Birkenau and died there of typhus. As for Miep Gies, the focus of this film, she lived to be almost 101. When the Franks were arrested in August of 1944, possibly turned in by neighbors or by the cleaning person at Otto’s business, Miep Gies and Bep Voskuijl were not arrested. Miep managed to excuse herself by saying she knew nothing of those in hiding. Miep and two others would rescue Anne’s diary before the Nazis cleared out the hiding place. They would eventually return the papers to Otto Frank. Anne’s father would see that Anne's writing was published (initially as “Diary of a Young Girl”). New episodes will debut every Monday at 9/8c and 10/9c on National Geographic and will stream the next day on Disney +. The timeliness of the script, plus the excellent performances and on-site location shooting, have this series marked for nominations during awards season. Read the full article
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Kipo’s Final Season
Well, it was a journey you guys.
Inevitably it’s bittersweet, because while it WAS a happy ending… You know. It’s an ending! Phenomenal final season, final trio of seasons, the show really wrapped itself up, but I’m empty that it’s gone now!
It’s why I held off on watching the final season… My heart wasn’t ready to let go yet. And sure, if the third season were suddenly to get a BUNCH of ratings, we might get those additional motives that Radfor Sechrist hinted at the possibility of! But I’m still sad because the main journey is gone, and the cast, as we’ve gotten to know them, have left!
Not entirely, but still! I will have to say that Kipo, Benson, Wolf, Mandu, and Troy are ROCKING all of their new looks! I love that Kipo looks more like her dad Lio, too! Speaking of which, I really enjoyed seeing Dave and Lio get along unintentionally… It was AMAZING to see Song return, and I just…
I’m SAY, you know! I’m sad to see it all go. It really felt a final farewell to all of the cast and world we love… We got to see the return of various characters, including Fun Gus, of all people- Love the way his and Emilia’s arcs sort of tied together! And I love the symbolism of Emilia losing herself, as the idea of her becoming the very thing she swore to destroy… Those are great stories to me, haunting and chilling!
LOVE how this year has been bringing us Gay Proms! First Grom, then Prahm! Prahm was great… I love Doag, though I feel sorry for her because of that NAME… But good for you Hoag, you’re a father and you let those paternal instincts override any fear, paranoia, and prejudice you may have had! Sure the warning didn’t come through in time, but at least you tried! Good for you…
Also, I know Asher and Dahlia had a minimal presence, but I ENJOYED every last second of them we got, even as background characters! I loved the way the arc progressed, the stories behind Mutes and Humans getting along… It all felt so organic and natural, you know? And HUGO…!
I’m not over his death. The worst part was that he DID redeem himself and fully change, so… It wasn’t like one of those Redemption-equals-Death cop outs! Hugo had already gotten his redemption. The crew really just wrote that for the sake of stomping on our hearts, huh? WELL THEY DID… Rest in peace, you funky mandrill! His arc was particularly brilliant and naturally-flowing, I love that final callback to his mess with Aurum… Hugo was just being that moody, temperamental older brother who’s a teen and insists he’s not going through a phase- But he loves his little sister and will humor her!
I miss him already… And I LOVE his interactions with Wolf, as siblings by proxy of Kipo, but also their shared cynicism and trauma as I speculated about! Hugo making a blanket-cloak for Wolf, to replace the old one she had, which represented her trauma and past… I hadn’t even considered it, but it’s right! The way Hugo and Wolf’s arcs together to take out Emilia, only for Greta of all people to make a final point… It was amazing! Superb, brilliant, it was EXACTLY what I wanted to see and MORE! How we had this powerful and meaningful growth for the two of them as siblings in their own right, without necessarily having to rely on fighting… Just quiet moments!
And Kipo… I love you Kipo! I was afraid the show might give us an arc of Kipo being ‘cured’ and having to struggle with no longer being part-mute, even if she were to eventually get that back… And they didn’t! They let Kipo be Kipo! I love her nature as a girl of two worlds, and how she brings both worlds together into one seamless creation! And her DNA gives me hope of a vaccine being made…
I’m still sad over the deaths of Yumyan, Margot, Rupert, Camille, Brad, Billions, etc.! Remember the fallen… I was REALLY wishing the show would have them brought back to their old minds, and while still having them around in spirit sort of helped (as they were basically senile after the ‘cure’)… COME ON, this show has already been so bright and optimistic and hopeful in many other regards! Is it too much to ask that the ‘cure’ gets reverted, that they recover their old minds! It’s really messed up particularly with Margot and Rupert, as they were KIDS… Rupert was just being held hostage, and Margot DID make the effort to change her mind, just like Hoag she didn’t expect Emilia to be ahead of her! Maybe if we get that hypothetical sequel film with Wolf, MAYBE we could have Margot brought back… Or at least go over Wolf’s thoughts of Margot technically betraying her, but to save Rupert, and ultimately doing the right thing- Only to die! I wish we got to discuss that.
Interesting that they never go about the origins of Mutes, but honestly… Not too important to me? The exact cause wasn’t a big deal to me, what matters is that it happened and now it’s here! Speaking of which, I LOVED the Dave episode… Controversial opinion, I think he’s a great character! I love how the show confirmed he was there as far back as THE beginning, and he was just… VIBING the entire time, over a fan! What DID happen to the fan, I wonder? Imagine if it got destroyed- Or even better, if it just ran out of battery! The implication that the fan somehow was able to run for two centuries, but still ran out of energy… Lol.
THAT episode was a masterpiece of morbid humor, what with the idea of this one loser being THAT caught over a fan, Dave being responsible for skyscraper ridge… And that bit of Daves getting KILLED, but it’s never explained and then just sort of glossed over- It’s arguably amongst the pinnacle of morbid humor! The kind that just happens, and because it’s left unexplained it’s just BETTER, more horrifying, whilst funnier… And Benson! Like I said, the background, unspoken, but obvious implication that the Daves and Fanatics (is that what those humans called themselves?) slaughtered each other until one was left. YIKES… But it was still so brilliantly done and conveyed, it really is the epitome of dark humor to me!
Benson got his kiss! He got his kiss with Troy! And now they’re running a restaurant together, Cappuccino gave them a SIX star review… But please don’t call them potato noodles. They’re fries. I can overlook anything, but NOT that! But now I crave that hypothetical sequel film that Radford Sechrist hinted at… Gimme gimme, please! Mostly I just want closure on those Mutes who got ‘cured’, I know it’s immature, but please bring them back!
All in all, this was just… BRILLIANT! It was GOOD, and it makes me even sadder because I found myself so happy to see these characters progress, like with Zane, or Greta… Wolf letting go of her cloak, she’s so PRECIOUS I love her so much, and I love how Hugo was like an older brother to her and I miss him already! I love Kipo, I love Benson and Dave’s backstory, I love Troy, Asher, and Dahlia… I want MORE, please! I feel like I’m not yet ready to let go. And maybe I don’t necessarily have to, but still…
And it’s absolutely wild to me, because this all happened within a year. It’s been a journey, huh? Once it was as simple as getting back to her old home… And while Kipo lost that, she made a new, better one! And I love that, but I’m also going to miss it- Because it feels that just as we got it back, we left! Well, I can always return in my own way, but for now…
THANK YOU, to everyone who worked on this show! I’m going to miss Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts! It was utterly brilliant, and I’m glad you got to tell the story you wanted! Here’s hoping you get to indulge in the world of Kipo maybe one last, or two, times!
#kipo#kipo and the age of wonderbeasts#kataow#kipo oak#kipo wolf#kataow wolf#kipo hugo#kataow hugo#scarlemagne#kipo benson#kataow benson#kipo troy#kataow troy#kipo dave#kataow dave
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best seen in 2020.
My usual caveats from previous years are still applicable here: I don’t watch most of the major nominations the years they come out, and I’m usually not much for theaters and/or current TV. However, due to the pandemic, we watched a loooooooot of content. Here’s just a list of movies that I watched or rewatched this year, that were neither terrible, nor great, but I want to make note of:
Toy Story 4, The Brothers Bloom, Happiest Season, The Peanut Butter Falcon, Moana, Mr. Right, Moulin Rouge, Ocean’s Eleven, Spring Breakers, X-Men: Dark Phoenix (this might have been the worst movie I watched this year?), Widows, Gattaca, Black Klansman, Primer, It 2, Shazam (this maybe should have gone on the Honorable Mentions - it was fun), Training Day, Parasite (OK, now I have to update my Honorable Mentions), The Green Book, Strange Days, Elf, Love & Basketball, Above the Rim, Coach Carter.
That being said, there was some bad stuff, and I try not to shit on any artist’s creations too much, because I know no one sets out to make something bad, but these didn’t work for me.
Anti
Uncut Gems - It’s not that it was BAD, it was just too stressful for me to enjoy.
Brick - It wasn’t even close to enjoyable on a rewatch that I encouraged my partner to take on for the first time. I felt bad.
Hereditary - Neither a scary movie, nor a good movie.
The Witch - Same, but maybe better made?
Under The Skin - Jesus, this was terrible. Maybe I’m not artsy enough to get it?
Now, however, let’s get to the good stuff.
Honorable Mention TV
Avatar - I can’t legitimately put it on the Best Of list, because I’m not done yet, but I’m on Book 3, after finally actually getting started. I think I tried to start this in 2016, and i know all my nerd friends have been yelling at me for a long time because I haven’t gotten to it yet, and as someone who’s almost done, I can say: they were right! It’s great.
Ozark - S1 was great. It fell off a fucking CLIFF after that. Ignore people who tell you that you HAVE to watch this. They’re wrong. It’s fine.
The Last Dance - I know the world is obsessed with Michael Jordan, and I’m glad it came out when it did, but really, all it did for me was confirm that he’s an asshole who was very fortunate to play when he did. And also that the Bulls were fucking phenomenal.
His Dark Materials - Neither as bad as some of my friends think, nor nearly as good as the books (obviously) but also not good enough that I’ve even started S2 yet, so....I guess it’s fine?
The Mandalorian S2 - I think they know what they’re doing, and it’s super enjoyable, and I loved the ending, but I’m also curious as to where they’re going now.
Fargo S3 - Given how good the rest of the series is (other than my distaste for S2, dealt with below, and out of step with pop culture) I thought this one was a misstep,
Orphan Black - I cannot believe how late I was to this, and how good it still was. It really fell apart toward the end, but the acting was incredible, and the fact that they got to tell the story they wanted to was amazing.
Best TV
7. All the Smoke with Kobe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R3KIyEgCgc) - Maybe it was just his death, but it hits hard, and I miss him. Does this even count as TV?
6. Looking for Alaska - It felt like gratuitous masochism to watch this and enjoy it, being 20 years older than when I fell for it, and feeling ashamed of the young person I was, but even knowing what was coming, I was weeping when it happened. Even knowing that they were ultimately going on a fruitless search and yelling at the TV while the Colonel and Pudge were searching for “signs” and hating them for it, I remember feeling like everything HAD to happen for a reason when I was this young... So yeah. It’s pure nostalgia for me. I’d be super interesting in hearing how kids responded to it.
5. Locke and Key - I get that some people feel like they don’t need old shit in a new medium, but for me, I’m always up to try it out. If it’s fun, I’ll stick with it. And this is. It’s fun, it’s got some of the old shit, it’s got some new shit, and it’s a treat to see my favorite comic of the last decade in a new medium. Haters need a new bit.
Fargo s1 and s4 (I didn’t love S3) - I know that I’m in the minority here, but I think 1 and 4 are the best and 2 was good, and 3 was fine. I literally watched all of this show this year, though, so I didn’t have the same time to digest as others. But I think that’s a benefit in some regards?
4. Magicians s5 - One of the saddest conversations of the last year to two was when a nerd friend of mine said he didn’t like The Magicians because all of the characters were whiny and self-indulgent. For me, that was almost literally the point: they shoved Q into the corner and told the story of the others (at least one episode quite self-referentially so) and it was so much better for that. I wish it hadn’t ended, but I’m glad they left it where they did, because it was so good.
3. Devs esp. The beginning of e5 - Jesus. The show of the year? Except for the fact that Watchmen came out at the tail end of last year, and I didn’t have it on my 2019 list? I mean, honestly, is there a show more tailored to me? I’m not gonna get into any spoilers, but it’s a quick watch, and it’s fucking fantastic. Watch it, have your mind blown by the concept, especially in the beginning sequence of E5, and then stick around for the subpar ending where basically all of the threads are resolved in the least good way.
2. Watchmen - This deserves multiple re-watches and all the praise that people heaped upon it.
1. The Good Place - I know, objectively, that Watchmen was a better show than The Good Place. But this is my list, and I’ll be damned if anything overtakes my favorite sitcom (maybe of all time?) for best of the year. I know it barely just ended this year, and there’s plenty of acclaim to go around for this show, but honestly, every time I talk to anyone about it, it feels like they kind of laugh it off. This show is not only worth your time, but should almost be considered must-watch material. If more people watched this show, we wouldn’t need the insult “sophomoric” to describe people who’ve just had their minds blown by Philosophy 101, and we’d be better off as a species.
Honorable Mention Movies
In this order, and you can take the comedies and make them the only honorable mentions, if you’d like to make a nice, even top 10. (Until I saw Tenet the night before I posted this.( (And then I looked back at the playing cards that we use to randomly choose movies and I found that I needed to modify the Honorable Mentions and the Best Of lists.)
21 and 22 Jump Street - In general, I’m not a fan of comedies. So I’m happy I watched these, thanks to Nathan Zed, and they’re funny. Good work guys.
Palm Springs - Apparently there’s now backlash against Groundhog Day? I dunno, man, it was fun, and all the actors seemed like they were having a good time, and I was down for it.
Parasite - I can’t add anything to this that hasn’t already been shouted from the rooftops, so let me just briefly say that I thought it was great, but it didn’t quite make the list of best. The combo of genres was great, the cast was fantastic, but what I loved the most about it was how quiet it was.
Best Movies
10. Blinded by the Light - Way more resonant than I thought it’d be from the previews, and I already thought it was gonna be stellar. I didn’t take into account TIME along with place, and that made a hell of a difference for this movie.
9. Shoplifters - Yeesh. What a tough watch, but so good, and so necessary. For me, I think we watched it back to back to back with Parasite and I, Tonya, and this one just stood out so much more. The storyline was softer all the way through, but really had gravitas simultaneously.
8. Tenet - It was fucking fun! I don’t get the hate! I liked it, I’ll like it more next time I see it, and I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, but I’m super glad I could see it on my TV!
7. I, Tonya - Geez, what a powerhouse of acting. Not only did they get me to feel good about the villain of my childhood, they got me to feel good about Margot Robbie, who I’d only thought of as a hot lady before. Superb acting from everyone else, too, and what a great pick up to be like, yeah, this is the story we’re gonna tell.
6. I Am Not Your Negro - I avoided watching it for so long because I was already depressed this year, and I didn’t think I needed any more of that, but it turns out I did, and I always do, from Baldwin. He’s a master for a reason.
5. Hamilton - I know there was some backlash with the time difference, and I’m sure it was better to see it pre-2016 in the theater, where it’s meant to be seen, but I’m not a billionaire New Yorker, and I was plenty happy to see it when and where I could.
4. Won’t You Be My Neighbor - I mean...what do you think? It’s so much exactly what you’re thinking it is, but then it’s even better, because it’s the real deal, and he was so good, and it’s so pure. Watch it.
3. Her Smell - Elizabeth Moss has already gotten all the acclaim, but to play this different of a role, in a movie that felt as stressful as Uncut Gems, but pulled off an actual plot so much more successfully? I can’t believe this one didn’t get more pub, but then again, yes I can: it’s a movie about a girl band that rages against the machine, and she’s got severe issues. Small surprise that the people didn’t react well. Seek this one out!
2. Arrival - Yes, I am going to totally cheat and put a movie that’s appeared on my list (sooooo long ago) as the #2 entry this year. You know why? Cuz fuck 2020, and this is a great movie, and it’s the movie that made me feel second best this year. It’s incredible, and I know people appreciated it in its time, but I feel like they should appreciate it even more.
1. Moonlight - It’s not a shock, nor am I trying to appease anyone with anything. It’s just that I finally watched it, and it’s the best movie I saw this year. I don’t think I could possibly add anything to the authentic critics who have already heaped praise upon it, but I do have to say that it’s all due, and so much more. The acting obviously stands out, but the direction, from the color palettes, to the choice of when and where (and how) to break it up, are all masterful choices.
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Hello! I was scrolling through your posts and I saw your comments on rtve’s Reinas. I have seen it but I couldn’t actually understand what was going on since I can’t speak Spanish.Can you tell me if it is written like Verdi’s Don Carlo?(I mean are Carlos and Elisabetta having an affair?) and your opinions on Philip’s side of the scenerio in general?
Hi!!!!
Sorry for the late reply, I am currently more out of tumblr than in and I just saw this.
I watched Reinas a long time ago and... I frankly do not recommend it.
(Disclaimer: Basing this on the Philip plotline since it is the one I actually watched because I skimmed over the Elizabeth and Mary ones, but I imagine they’ll be equally as terrible)
But yes, it felt like a soap-opera-y messier version of Don Carlo. Only way worse written, and whereas Don Carlos is actually quite likeable in the Verdi opera, here is like they remembered what the actual Don Carlos was like (a very mentally unstable young man, to put it kindly) and shoved it there.
As far as I remember (anyone who has it more fresh in their minds can correct me here), the affair between Elisabeth and Carlos is only hinted at (in a scene where she kisses him when she tries to help him escape from prison, and in something she says to Philip about loving them both, in which I cringed enough to turn the tv off).
Also!!! For some reason that I still do not get, we get Felipe still having an affair with his mistress Isabel de Osorio (and having fathered two sons from her, so Elisabeth can have some drama about only having given him daughters- when the daughters she gave him where his favourite children ffs, one of the only instances of him crying in public is when his youngest daughter by Elisabeth, Catherine Michelle, died. Btw the only other instance I can remember of him crying in public was after Elisabeth’s death.), when, as far as I remember, he did not have any mistress during his marriage to Elisabeth.
But no Princess of Eboli. And for some reason Antonio Pérez is older than Ruy Gomes. (Which wtf)
They have Felipe visiting Elizabeth of England in some diplomatic visit where he’s like he still has a crush on her or something. When the real Felipe didn’t even move to meet Catherine of Medici and sent Elisabeth to negotiate with her mother instead.
Aaand of course, they heavily imply Felipe poisoned Elisabeth.
Full disclosure: I am a Felipe II fan, if this wasn’t obvious. I know the dude made some more-than-questionable choices (Hello poisoning of Bona Sforza, execution of Egmont, and wtf was that mess of appointing a seasick person as the Head of the Armada????), but hey pretty much all historical faves are problematic, aaaaaaaaand he did love Elisabeth. Like, a lot.
Because seriously, pointing again at the crying incidents. Felipe was a huge stickler for protocol, and the protocol of the Spanish Habsburg Court was the absolute worst. It is the same protocol Franz Josef I would adopt later in Vienna and would prompt the then-Prince of Wales to say, after a visit “My G*d, this court is stiff.”
So, for Felipe to start crying, in front of the French Ambassador nonetheless (who was on a diplomatic mission to ensure a potential marriage to Margot, aka Elisabeth’s youngest sister), speaks buckets of how he felt regarding her when put in context.
Aaand, returning to Reinas, makes the idea of even implying Felipe poisoned Elisabeth absolute bullshit.
Like pretty much all the Felipe storyline there.
The only salvageable stuff? The actors. I specially liked Adrián Castiñeiras as Felipe, and I wish he would have gotten an actual good script.
(Still, idk what I was hoping when the man behind the series is mostly known for the most outdated comedy, and for cabaret shows. (When not for getting into financial messes and not paying his workers) And now he’s creating a series about Francis of Assisi and I think I’m gonna have a stroke how does this guy keep getting work)
But yeah, Reinas is not worth your time. I was hyped because I am starved for content with Felipe and Elisabeth, but what you are offered here... is not worth it.
(And don’t even get me started on the costumes. Just... why.)
Also, apologies for the long post!!! I just have, like a ton of feelings regarding Felipe II (and apparently a lot of opinions regarding this show)
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2019 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 2)
20. FROZEN 2 – so, another year, then, and once again Disney doesn’t QUITE manage to net the animated feature top spot on my list, but it’s not for lack of trying – this long-awaited sequel to the studio’s runaway hit musical fantasy adventure is just what we’ve come to love from the House of Mouse, but more importantly it’s a most worthy sequel, easily on a par with the much beloved origin. Not much of a surprise given the welcome return of all the key people, from directors Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee (who also once again wrote the screenplay) to composer Christophe Beck and songwriters Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, as well as all the key players in the cast. It’s business as usual in the kingdom of Arendelle, where all is seemingly peaceful and tranquil, but Queen Elsa (Idina Menzel) is restless, haunted by a distant voice that only she can hear, calling to her from a mysterious past she just can’t place … and then she accidentally awakens the four elemental spirits, sending her homeland into mystical turmoil, prompting her to embark on a desperate search for answers with her sister Princess Anna (Kristen Bell), ice harvester Kristoff (Jonathan Groff), his faithful reindeer companion Sven, and, of course, living snowman Olaf (Josh Gad). Their quest leads them into the Enchanted Forest of Northuldra, a neighbouring kingdom, ruled by simple, elemental magic, that has remained cut off from Arendelle for decades, where they discover dark, hidden truths about their own family’s past and must make peace with the spirits if they’re to save their home and their people. So, typical Disney family fantasy fare, then, right? Well, Frozen 2 certainly dots all the Is and crosses all the Ts, but, like the original, this is no jaded blockbuster money spinner, packed with the same kind of resonant power, skilful inventiveness and pure, show-stopping WOW-factor as its predecessor, but more importantly this is a sequel that effectively carves out a fresh identity for itself, brilliantly taking the world and characters in interesting new directions to create something fresh, rewarding and worthwhile on its own merit. The returning cast are all as strong as ever, Menzel and Bell in particular ably powering the story, while it’s nice to see both Groff and Gad getting something new to do with their own characters too, even nabbing their own major musical numbers; there’s also a welcome slew of fresh new faces to this world, particular Sterling K. Brown (This is Us, Black Panther, The Predator) as lost Anrendelle soldier Mattias and former Brat Pack star Martha Plimpton as Yelena, leader of the lost tribe of Northuldra. Once again this is Disney escapism at its very best, a heart-warming, soul-nourishing powerhouse of winning humour, emotional power and child-like wonder, but like the first film the biggest selling point is, of course, that KILLER soundtrack, with every song here a total hit, not one dud among them, and there are even ear-worms here to put Let It Go to shame – Into the Unknown was touted as the major hit, and it is impressive, but I was particularly affected by Groff’s unashamedly full-bore rendition of Lost in the Woods, a bona fide classic rock power ballad crafted in the fashion of REO Speedwagon, while the undeniable highlight for me is the unstoppable Show Yourself, with Menzel once again proving that her incredible voice is a natural force all in itself. Altogether, then, this is an absolute feast for the eyes, the ears AND the soul, every inch the winner that its predecessor was and also EASILY one of Disney’s premier animated features for the decade. So it’s quite the runner-up, then …
19. ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD – since his explosion onto the scene twenty-seven years ago with his runaway smash debut Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino has become one of the most important filmmakers of his generation, a true master of the cinematic art form who consistently delivers moving picture masterpieces that thrill, entertain, challenge and amuse audiences worldwide … at least those who can stomach his love of unswerving violence, naughty talk and morally bankrupt antiheroes and despicably brutal villains who are often little more than a shade different from one another. Time has moved on, though, and while he’s undoubtedly been one of the biggest influences on the way cinema has changed over the past quarter century, there are times now that it’s starting to feel like the scene is moving on in favour of younger, fresher blood with their own ideas. I think Tarantino can sense this himself, because he recently made a powerful statement – after he’s made his tenth film, he plans to retire. Given that OUATIH is his NINTH film, that deadline is already looming, and we unashamed FANS of his films are understandably aghast over this turn of events. Thankfully he remains as uncompromisingly awesome a writer-director as ever, delivering another gold standard five-star flick which is also most definitely his most PERSONAL work to date, quite simply down to the fact that it’s a film ABOUT film. Sure, it has a plot (of sorts, anyway), revolving around the slow decline of the career of former TV star Rick Dalton (Leonardo Dicaprio), who languishes in increasing anonymity in Hollywood circa 1969 as his former western hero image is being slowly eroded by an increasingly hacky workload guest-starring on various syndicated shows as a succession of punching-bag heavies for the hero to wale on, while his only real friend is his one-time stunt double, Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), a former WW2 hero with a decidedly tarnished reputation of his own; meanwhile new neighbours have moved in next door to further distract him – hot-as-shit young director Roman Polanski (Rafal Zawierucha), riding high on the success of Rosemary’s Baby, and his new wife Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie). Certainly this all drives the film, along with real-life events involving one of the darkest crimes in modern American history, but a lot of the time the plot is largely coincidental – Quentin uses it as a springboard to wax lyrical about his very favourite subject and pay loving (if sometimes irreverently satirical) tribute to the very business he’s been indulging in with such great success since 1992. Sure, it’s also about “Helter Skelter” and the long shadow cast by Charles Manson and his band of murderous misfits, but this is largely incidental, as we’re treated to long, entertaining interludes as we follow Rick on a shoot as the bad guy in the pilot for the Lancer TV series, visit the notorious Spahn Ranch with Cliff as he’s unwittingly drawn into the lion’s den of the deadly Manson Family, join Robbie’s Tate as she watches “herself” in The Wrecking Crew, and enjoy a brilliant montage in which we follow Rick’s adventures in Spaghetti westerns (and Eurospy cinema) after he’s offered a chance to change his flagging fortunes, before the film finally builds to a seemingly inevitable, fateful conclusion that Tarantino then, in sneakily OTT Inglourious Basterds style, mischievously turns on its head with a devilish game of “What If”. The results are a thoroughly engrossing and endlessly entertaining romp through the seedier side of Hollywood and a brilliant warts-and-all examination of the craft’s inner workings that, interestingly, reveals as much about the Business today as it does about how it was way back in the Golden Age the film portrays, all while delivering bucket-loads of QT’s trademark cool, swagger, idiosyncratic genius and to-die-for dialogue and character-work, and, of course, a typically exceptional all-star cast firing on all cylinders. Dicaprio and Pitt are both spectacular (Brad is endearingly taciturn, playing it wonderfully close to the vest throughout, while Leo is simply ON FIRE, delivering a mercurial performance EASILY on a par with his work on Shutter Island and The Wolf of Wall Street – could this be good enough to snag him a second Oscar?), while Robbie consistently endears us to Tate as she EFFORTLESSLY brings the fallen star back to life, and there’s an incredible string of amazing supporting turns from established talent and up-and-comers alike, from Kurt Russell, Al Pacino and a very spiky Bruce Dern to Mike Moh (in a FLAWLESS take on Bruce Lee), Margaret Qualley, Austin Butler and in particular Julia Butters as precocious child star Trudi Fraser. Packed with winning references, homages, pastiches and ingenious little in-jokes, handled with UTMOST respect for the true life subjects at all times and shot all the way through with his characteristic flair and quirky, deliciously dark sense of humour, this is cinema very much of the Old School, and EVERY INCH a Tarantino flick. With only one more film to go the implied end of his career seems much too close, but if he delivers one more like this he’ll leave behind a legacy that ANY filmmaker would be proud of.
18. CRAWL – summer 2019’s runner-up horror offering marks a rousing return to form for a genre talent who’s FINALLY delivered on the impressive promise of his early work – Alexandre Aja made a startling debut with Switchblade Romance, which led to his big break helming the cracking remake of slasher stalwart The Hills Have Eyes, but then he went SPECTACULARLY off the rails when he made the truly abysmal Piranha 3D, which I wholeheartedly regard as one of THE VERY WORST FILMS EVER MADE IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY. He took a big step back in the right direction with the admittedly flawed but ultimately enjoyable and evocative Horns (based on the novel by Stephen King’s son Joe Hill), but it’s with this stripped back, super-tight man-against-nature survival horror that the Aja of old has TRULY returned to us. IN SPADES. Seriously, I personally think this is his best film to date – there’s no fat on it at all, going from a simple set-up STRAIGHT into a precision-crafted exercise in sustained tension that relentlessly grips right up to the end credits. The film is largely just a two-hander – Maze Runner star Kaya Scodelario plays Haley Keller, a Florida college student and star swimmer who ventures into the heart of a Category 5 hurricane to make sure her estranged father, Dave (Saving Private Ryan’s Barry Pepper), is okay after he drops off the grid. Finding their old family home in a state of disrepair and slowly flooding, she does a last minute check of the crawl-space underneath, only to discover her father badly wounded and a couple of hungry alligators stalking the dark, cramped, claustrophobic confines. With the flood waters rising and communications cut off, Haley and Dave must use every reserve of strength, ingenuity and survival instinct to keep each other alive in the face of increasingly daunting odds … even with a premise this simple, there was plenty of potential for this to become an overblown, clunky mess in the wrong hands (a la Snakes On a Plane), so it’s a genuinely great thing that Aja really is back at the height of his powers, milking every fraught and suspenseful set-piece to its last drop of exquisite piano-wire tension and putting his actors through hell without a reprieve in sight. Thankfully it’s not JUST about scares and atmosphere – there’s a genuinely strong family drama at the heart of the story that helps us invest in these two, Scodelario delivering a phenomenally complex performance as she peels back Haley’s layers, from stubborn pedant, through vulnerable child of divorce, to ironclad born survivor, while reconnecting with her emotionally raw, repentantly open father, played with genuine naked intensity in a career best turn from Pepper. Their chemistry is INCREDIBLY strong, making every scene a joy even as it works your nerves and tugs on your heartstrings, and as a result you DESPERATELY want to see them make it out in one piece. Not that Aja makes it easy for them – the gators are an impressively palpable threat, proper scary beasties even if they are largely (admittedly impressively executed) digital effects, while the storm is almost a third character in itself, becoming as much of an elemental nemesis as its scaly co-stars. Blessedly brief (just 87 minutes!) and with every second wrung out for maximum impact, this is survival horror at its most brutally, simplistically effective, a deliciously vicious, primal chill-ride that thoroughly rewards from start to finish. Welcome back, Mr Aja. We’ve missed you.
17. SHAZAM! – there were actually THREE movies featuring Captain Marvel out in 2019, but this offering from the hit-and-miss DCEU cinematic franchise is a very different beast from his MCU-based namesake, and besides, THIS Cap long ago ditched said monicker for the far more catchy (albeit rather more oddball) title that graces Warner Bros’ last step back on the right track for their superhero Universe following the equally enjoyable Aquaman and franchise high-point Wonder Woman. Although he’s never actually referred to in the film by this name, Shazam (Chuck’s Eugene Levy) is the magically-powered alternate persona bestowed upon wayward fifteen year-old foster kid Billy Batson (Andi Mack’s Asher Angel) by an ancient wizard (Djimon Hounsou) seeking one pure soul to battle Dr. Thaddeus Sivana (Mark Strong), a morally corrupt physicist who turns into a monstrous supervillain after becoming the vessel for the spiritual essences of the Seven Deadly Sins (yup, that thoroughly batshit setup is just the tip of the iceberg of bonkersness on offer in this movie). Yes, this IS set in the DC Extended Universe, Shazam sharing his world with Superman, Batman, the Flash et al, and there are numerous references (both overt and sly) to this fact throughout (especially in the cheeky animated closing title sequence), but it’s never laboured, and the film largely exists in its own comfortably enclosed narrative bubble, allowing us to focus on Billy, his alter ego and in particular his clunky (but oh so much fun) bonding experiences with his new foster family, headed by former foster kid couple Victor and Rosa Vazquez (The Walking Dead’s Cooper Andrews and Marta Milans) – the most enjoyably portions of the film, however, are when Billy explores the mechanics and limits of his newfound superpowers with his new foster brother Freddy Freeman (It Chapter 1’s Jack Dylan Glazer), a consistently hilarious riot of bad behaviour, wanton (often accidental) destruction and perfectly-observed character development, the blissful culmination of a gleefully anarchic sense of humour that, until recently, has been rather lacking in the DCEU but which is writ large in bright, wacky primary colours right through this film. Sure, there are darker moments, particularly when Sivana sets loose his fantastic icky brood of semi-corporeal monsters, and these scenes are handled with seasoned skill by director David F. Sandberg, who cut his teeth on ingenious little horror gem Lights Out (following up with Annabelle: Creation, but we don’t have to dwell on that), but for the most part the film is played for laughs, thrills and pure, unadulterated FUN, almost never taking itself too seriously, essentially intended to do for the DCEU what Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man did for the MCU, and a huge part of its resounding success must of course be attributed to the universally willing cast. Eugene Levy’s so ridiculously pumped-up he almost looks like a special effect all on his own, but he’s lost none of his razor-sharp comic ability, perfectly encapsulating a teenage boy in a grown man’s body, while his chemistry with genuine little comedic dynamo Glazer is simply exquisite, a flawless balance shared with Angel, who similarly excels at the humour but also delivers quality goods in some far more serious moments too, while the rest of Billy’s newfound family are all brilliant, particularly ridiculously adorable newcomer Faithe Herman as precocious little motor-mouth Darla; Djimon Hounsou, meanwhile, adds significant class and gravitas to what could have been a cartoonish Gandalf spoof, and Mark Strong, as usual, gives great bad guy as Sivana, providing just the right amount of malevolent swagger and self-important smirk to proceedings without ever losing sight of the deeper darkness within. All round, this is EXACTLY the kind of expertly crafted superhero package we’ve come to appreciate in the genre, another definite shot in the arm for the DCEU that holds great hope for the future of the franchise, and some of the biggest fun I had at the cinema this past year. Granted, it’s still not a patch on the MCU, but the quality gap finally seems to be closing …
16. ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL – y’know, there was a time when James Cameron was quite a prolific director, who could be counted upon to provide THE big event pic of the blockbuster season. These days, we’re lucky to hear from him once a decade, and now we don’t even seem to be getting that – the dream project Cameron’s been trying to make since the end of the 90s, a big live action adaptation of one of my favourite mangas of all time, Gunnm (or Battle Angel Alita to use its more well-known sobriquet) by Yukito Kishiro, has FINALLY arrived, but it isn’t the big man behind the camera here since he’s still messing around with his intended FIVE MOVIE Avatar arc. That said, he made a damn good choice of proxy to bring his vision to fruition – Robert Rodriguez is, of course, a fellow master of action cinema, albeit one with a much more quirky style, and this adap is child’s play to him, the creator of the El Mariachi trilogy and co-director of Frank Miller’s Sin City effortlessly capturing the dark, edgy life-and-death danger and brutal wonder of Kishiro’s world in moving pictures. 300 years after the Earth was decimated in a massive war with URM (the United Republics of Mars) known as “the Fall”, only one bastion of civilization remains – Iron City, a sprawling, makeshift community of scavengers that lies in the shadow of the floating city of Zalem, home of Earth’s remaining aristocracy. Dr. Dyson Ido (Christoph Waltz) runs a clinic in Iron City customising and repairing the bodies of its cyborg citizens, from the mercenary “hunter killers” to the fast-living players of Motorball (a kind of supercharged mixture of Rollerball and Death Race), one day discovering the wrecked remains of a female ‘borg in the junkyard of scrap accumulated beneath Zalem. Finding her human brain is still alive, he gives her a new chassis and christens her Alita, raising her as best he can as she attempts to piece together her mysterious, missing past, only for them both to discover that the truth of her origins has the potential to tear their fragile little world apart forever. The Maze Runner trilogy’s Rosa Salazar is the heart and soul of the film as Alita (originally Gally in the comics), perfectly bringing her (literal) wide-eyed innocence and irrepressible spirit to life, as well as proving every inch the diminutive badass fans have been expecting – while her overly anime-styled look might have seemed a potentially jarring distraction in the trailers, Salazar’s mocap performance is SO strong you’ve forgotten all about it within the first five minutes, convinced she’s a real, flesh-and-metal character – and she’s well supported by an exceptional ensemble cast both new and well-established. Waltz is the most kind and sympathetic he’s been since Django Unchained, instilling Ido with a worldly warmth and gentility that makes him a perfect mentor/father-figure, while Spooksville star Keean Johnson makes a VERY impressive big screen breakthrough as Hugo, the streetwise young dreamer with a dark secret that Alita falls for in a big way, Jennifer Connelly is icily classy as Ido’s ex-wife Chiren, Mahershala Ali is enjoyably suave and mysterious as the film’s nominal villain, Vector, an influential but seriously shady local entrepreneur with a major hidden agenda, and a selection of actors shine through the CGI in various strong mocap performances, such as Deadpool’s Ed Skrein, Derek Mears, From Dusk Til Dawn’s Eiza Gonzalez and a thoroughly unrecognisable but typically awesome Jackie Earle Haley. As you’d expect from Rodriguez, the film delivers BIG TIME on the action front, unleashing a series of spectacular set-pieces that peak with Alita’s pulse-pounding Motorball debut, but there’s a pleasingly robust story under all the thrills and wow-factor, riffing on BIG THEMES and providing plenty of emotional power, especially in the heartbreaking character-driven climax – Cameron, meanwhile, has clearly maintained strict control over the project throughout, his eye and voice writ large across every scene as we’re thrust headfirst into a fully-immersive post-apocalyptic, rusty cyberpunk world as thoroughly fleshed-out as Avatar’s Pandora, but most importantly he’s still done exactly what he set out to do, paying the utmost respect to a cracking character as he brings her to vital, vivid life on the big screen. Don’t believe the detractors – this is a MAGNIFICENT piece of work that deserves all the recognition it can muster, perfectly set up for a sequel that I fear we may never get to see. Oh well, at least it’s renewed my flagging hopes for a return to Pandora …
15. AD ASTRA – last century, making a space exploration movie after 2001: A Space Odyssey was a pretty tall order. THIS century, looks like it’s trying to follow Chris Nolan’s Interstellar – love it or hate it, you can’t deny that particular epic space opera for the IMAX crowd is a REALLY tough act to follow. At first glance, then, writer-director James Gray (The Yards, We Own the Night) is an interesting choice to try, at least until you consider his last feature – he may be best known for understated, gritty little crime thrillers, but I was most impressed by 2016’s ambitious period biopic The Lost City of Z, which focused on the groundbreaking career of pioneering explorer Percy Fawcett, and couldn’t have been MORE about the indomitable spirit of discovery if it tried. His latest shares much of the same DNA, albeit presented in a VERY different package, as we’re introduced to a more expansive Solar System of the near future, in which humanity has begun to colonize our neighbouring worlds and is now pushing its reach beyond our own star’s light in order to discover what truly lies beyond the void of OUTER space. Brad Pitt stars as Major Roy McBride, a career astronaut whose whole life has been defined by growing up in the shadow of his father, H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones), a true pioneer who led an unprecedented expedition to the orbit of our furthest neighbour, Neptune, in order to search for signs of intelligent life beyond our solar system, only for the whole mission to go quiet for the past sixteen years. Then a mysterious, interplanetary power surge throws the Earth into chaos, and Roy must travel farther than he’s ever gone before in order to discover the truth behind the source of the pulse – his father’s own ill-fated Lima Project … this is a very different beast from Interstellar, a much more introspective, stately affair, revelling in its glacial pacing and emphasis on character motivation over plot, but it’s no less impressive from a visual, visceral standpoint – Gray and cinematographer Hoyt van Hoytema (who, interestingly, ALSO shot Interstellar, along with Nolan’s Dunkirk and his upcoming feature Tenet) certainly make space look truly EPIC, crafting astonishing visuals that deserve to be seen on the big screen (or at the very least on the best quality HDTV you can find). There’s also no denying the quality of the writing, Gray weaving an intricate story that reveals far greater depth and complexity than can be seen at first glance, while Roy’s palpable “thought-process” voiceover puts us right into the head of the character as we follow him across the endless void on a fateful journey into a cosmic Heart of Darkness. There is, indeed, a strong sense of Apocalypse Now to proceedings, with the younger McBride definitely following a similar path to Martin Sheen’s ill-fated captain as he travels “up-river” to find his Colonel Kurtz-esque father, and the performances certainly match the heft of the material – there’s an impressive collection of talent on offer in a series of top-quality supporting turns, Jones being just the icing on the cake in the company of Donald Sutherland, Liv Tyler, John Ortiz and Preacher’s Ruth Negga, but the undeniable driving force of the film is Pitt, his cool, laconic control hiding uncharted depths of emotional turmoil as he’s forced to call every choice into question. It’s EASILY one of the finest performances of his career to date, just one of the MANY great selling points in a film that definitely deserves to be remembered as one of the all-time sci-fi greats of the decade. An absolute masterpiece, then, but does it stand tall in comparison to Interstellar? I should say so …
14. BRIGHTBURN – torpedoing Crawl right out of the water in the summer, this refreshing, revisionist superhero movie takes one of the most classic mythologies in the genre and turns it on its head in true horror style. The basic premise is an absolute blinder – what if, when he crashed in small-town America as a baby, Superman had turned out to be a bad seed? Unsurprising, then, that it came from James Gunn, who here produces a screenplay by his brother and cousin Brian and Mark Gunn (best known for penning the likes of Journey 2: the Mysterious Island, but nobody’s perfect) and the directorial big break of his old mate David Yarovesky (whose only previous feature is obscure sci-fi horror The Hive) – Gunn is, of course, an old pro at taking classic comic book tropes and creating something completely new with them, having previously done so with HUGE success on cult indie black comedy Super and, in particular, Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies, and his fingerprints are ALL OVER this one too. The Hunger Games’ Elizabeth Banks (who starred in Gunn’s own directorial debut Slither) and David Denman (The Office) are Tori and Kyle Breyer, a farming couple living in Brightburn, Kansas, who are trying for a baby when a mysterious pod falls from the sky onto their land, containing an infant boy. As you’d expect, they adopt him, determined to keep his origin a secret, and for the first twelve years of his life all seems perfectly fine – Brandon’s growing up into an intelligent, artistic child who loves his family. Then his powers manifest and he starts to change – not just physically (he’s impervious to harm, incredibly strong, has laser eyes and the ability to disrupt electronic devices … oh, and he can fly, too), but also in personality, as he becomes cold, distant, even cruel as he begins to demonstrate some seriously sociopathic tendencies. As his parents begin to fear what he’s becoming, things begin to spiral out of control and people start to disappear or turn up brutally murdered, and it becomes clear that Brandon might actually be something out of a nightmare … needless to say this is superhero cinema as full-on horror, Brandon’s proclivities leading to some proper nasty moments once he really starts to cut loose, and there’s no mistaking this future super for one of the good guys – he pulverises bones, shatters faces and melts skulls with nary a twitch, just the tiniest hint of a smile. It’s an astonishing performance from newcomer Jackson A. Dunn, who perfectly captures the nuanced subtleties as Brandon goes from happy child to lethal psychopath, clearly demonstrating that he’s gonna be an incredible talent in future; the two grown leads, meanwhile, are both excellent, Denman growing increasingly haunted and exasperated as he tries to prove his own son is a wrong ‘un, while Banks has rarely been better, perfectly embodying a mother desperately wanting to belief the best of her son no matter how compelling the evidence becomes, and there’s quality support from Breaking Bad’s Matt Jones and Search Party’s Meredith Hagner as Brandon’s aunt and uncle, Noah and Meredith, and Becky Wahlstrom as the mother of one of his school-friends, who seems to see him for what he really is right from the start. Dark, suspenseful and genuinely nasty, this is definitely not your typical superhero movie, often playing like Kick-Ass’ deeply twisted cousin, and there are times when it displays some of the same edgy, black-hearted sense of humour, too. In other words, it’s all very James Gunn. It’s one sweet piece of work, everyone involved showing real skill and devotion, and Yarovesky in particular proves he’ll definitely be one-to-watch in the future. There are already plans for a potential sequel, and given where this particular little superhero universe seems to be heading I think it could be something pretty special, so fair to say I can’t wait.
13. STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER – wow, this one’s proven particularly divisive, hasn’t it? And I thought The Last Jedi caused a stir … say what you will about Rian Johnson’s previous entry in the juggernaut science fiction saga, while it certainly riled up the hardcore fanbase it was at least well-received by the critics, not to mention myself, who found it refreshing and absolutely ingenious after the crowd-pleasing simplicity of JJ Abrams’ admittedly still thoroughly brilliant The Force Awakens. After such radical experimentation, Abrams’ return to the director’s chair can’t help feeling a bit like desperate backpedalling in order to sooth a whole lot of seriously ruffled feathers, and I’ll admit that, on initial viewing, I couldn’t help feeling just a touch cheated given what might have been if similarly offbeat, experimentally-minded filmmaker Colin Trevorrow (Safety Not Guaranteed, Jurassic World) had stayed on board to helm the picture. Then I got home, thought about it for a bit and it started to grow on me, before a second viewing helped me to reconcile all everything that bugged me first time around, seemingly the same things that have, perversely, ruffled so many more feathers THIS TIME. This doesn’t feel like a retcon job, no matter what some might think – new developments in the story that might feel like whitewash actually do make sense once you think about them, and the major twists actually work when viewed within the larger, overarching storyline. Not that I’m willing to go into any kind of detail here, mind you – this is a spoiler-free zone, thank you very much. Suffice to say, the honour of the saga has in no way been besmirched by Abrams and his co-writer Chris Terrio (sure, he worked on Batman V Superman and Justice League, but he also wrote Argo), the final film ultimately standing up very well indeed alongside its trilogy contemporaries, and still MILES ABOVE anything we got in George Lucas’ decidedly second-rate prequels. The dangling plot strands from The Last Jedi certainly get tied up with great satisfaction, particularly the decidedly loaded drama of new Jedi Rey (Daisy Ridley) and troubled First Order Supreme Leader Kylo Ren/Ben Solo (Adam Driver), while the seemingly controversial choice of reintroducing Ian McDiarmid’s fantastically monstrous Emperor Palpatine as the ultimate big bad ultimately works out spectacularly well, a far cry from any perceived botched fan-service. Everyone involved was clearly working at the height of their powers – Ridley and Driver are EXCEPTIONAL, both up-and-coming young leads truly growing into the their roles, while co-stars John Boyega and Oscar Isaac land a pleasingly meaty chunk of the story to finally get to really explore that fantastic chemistry they teased on The Last Jedi, and Carrie Fisher gets a truly MAGNIFICENT send off in the role that defined her as the incomparable General Leia Organa (one which it’s still heartbreaking she never quite got to complete); other old faces, meanwhile, return in fun ways, from Anthony Daniels’ C-3PO FINALLY getting to play a PROPER role in the action again to a brilliant supporting flourish from the mighty Billy Dee Williams as the Galaxy-Far-Far-Away’s own King of Cool, Lando Calrissian, while there’s a wealth of strong new faces here too, such as Lady Macbeth’s Naomie Ackie as rookie rebel Jannah, Richard E. Grant as suitably slimy former-Imperial First Order bigshot Allegiant General Pryde, The Americans’ Keri Russell as tough smuggler Zorii Bliss and Lord of the Rings star Dominic Monaghan as Resistance tech Beaumont Kin. As fans have come to expect, Abrams certainly doesn’t skim on the spectacle, delivering bombastic thrill-ride set-pieces that yet again set the benchmark for the year’s action stakes (particularly in the blistering mid-picture showdown between Rey and Kylo among the wave-lashed remains of Return of the Jedi’s blasted Death Star) and awe-inspiring visuals that truly boggle the mind with their sheer beauty and complexity, but he also injects plenty of the raw emotion, inspired character work, knowing humour and pure, unadulterated geeky FUN he’s so well known for. In conclusion, then, this is MILES AWAY from the clunky, compromised mess it’s been labelled as in some quarters, ultimately still very much in keeping with the high standards set by its trilogy predecessors and EVERY INCH a proper, full-blooded Star Wars movie. Ultimately, Rogue One remains THE BEST of the big screen run since Lucas’ Original Trilogy, but this one still emerges as a Force to be reckoned with …
12. JOKER – no-one was more wary than me when it was first announced that DC and Warner Bros. were going to make a standalone, live-action movie centred entirely around Batman’s ultimate nemesis, the Joker, especially with it coming hot on the heels of Jared Leto’s thoroughly polarizing portrayal in Suicide Squad. More so once it was made clear that this WOULD NOT be part of the studio’s overarching DC Extended Universe cinematic franchise, which was FINALLY starting to find its feet – then what’s the point? I found myself asking. I should have just sat back and gone with it, especially since the finished product would have made me eat a big slice of humble pie had I not already been won over once the trailers started making the rounds. This is something new, different and completely original in the DC cinematic pantheon, even if it does draw major inspiration from Alan Moore’s game-changing DC comics mini-series The Killing Joke – a complete standalone origin story for one of our most enduring villains, re-imagined as a blistering, bruising psychological thriller examining what can happen to a man when he’s pushed far beyond the brink by terrible circumstance, societal neglect and crippling mental illness. Joaquin Phoenix delivers the performance of his career as Arthur Fleck, a down-at-heel clown-for-hire struggling to launch a career as a stand-up-comic (badly hampered by the fact that he’s just not funny) while suffering from an acute dissociative condition and terrible attacks of pathological laughter at moments of heightened stress – the actor lost 52 pounds of weight to become a horrifically emaciated scarecrow painfully reminiscent of Christian Bale’s similar preparation for his acclaimed turn in The Machinist, and frequently contorts himself into seemingly impossible positions that prominently accentuate the fact. Fleck is a truly pathetic creature, thoroughly put-upon by a pitiless society that couldn’t care less about him, driven by inner demons and increasingly compelling dark thoughts to act out in increasingly desperate, destructive ways that ultimately lead him to cross lines he just can’t come back from, and Phoenix gives his all in every scene, utterly mesmerising even when his character commits some truly heinous acts. Certainly he dominates the film, but then there are plenty of winning supporting turns from a universally excellent cast to bolster him along, from Zazie Beetz as an impoverished young mother Arthur bonds with and Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under, American Horror Story) as Arthur’s decidedly fragile mother Penny to Brett Cullen (The Thorn Birds, Lost) as a surprisingly unsympathetic Thomas Wayne (the philanthropic father of future Batman Bruce Wayne), while Robert De Niro himself casts a very long shadow indeed as Murray Franklin, a successful comedian and talk show host that Arthur idolizes, a character intentionally referential to his role in The King of Comedy. Indeed, Martin Scorsese’s influence is writ large throughout the entire film, reinforced by the choice to set the film in a 1981-set Gotham City which feels very much like the crumbling New York of Mean Streets or Taxi Driver. This is a dark, edgy, grim and unflinchingly BRUTAL film, frequently difficult to watch as Arthur is driven further into a blazing psychological hell by his increasingly stricken life, but addictively, devastatingly compelling all the same, impossible to turn away from even in the truly DEVASTATING final act. Initially director Todd Phillips seemed like a decidedly odd choice for the project, hailing as he does from a predominantly comedy-based filmmaking background (most notably Due Date and The Hangover trilogy), but he’s actually a perfect fit here, finding a strangely twisted beauty in many of his compositions and a kind of almost uplifting transcendence in his subject’s darkest moments, while his screenwriting collaboration with Scott Silver (8 Mile, The Fighter) means that the script is as rich as it can be, almost overflowing with brilliant ideas and rife with biting social commentary which is even more relevant today than in the period in which it’s set. Intense, gripping, powerful and utterly devastating, this truly is one of the best films of 2019. If this was a purely critical Top 30 this would have placed in the Top 5, guaranteed …
11. FAST & FURIOUS PRESENTS HOBBS & SHAW – summer 2019’s most OTT movie was some of THE MOST FUN I had at the cinema all year, a genuinely batshit crazy, pure bonkers rollercoaster ride of a film I just couldn’t get enough of, the perfect sum of all its baffling parts. The Fast & Furious franchise has always revelled in its extremes, subtle as a brick and very much playing to the blockbuster, popcorn movie crowd right from the start, but it wasn’t until Fate of the Furious (yup, the ridiculous title says it all) that it really started to play to the inherent ridiculousness of its overall setup, paving the way for this first crack at a new spin-off series sans-Vin Diesel. Needless to say this one fully embraces the ludicrousness, with director David Leitch the perfect choice to shepherd it into the future, having previously mastered OTT action through John Wick and Atomic Blonde before helming manic screwball comedy Deadpool 2, which certainly is the strongest comparison point here – Hobbs & Shaw is every bit as loud, violent, chaotic and thoroughly irreverent, definitely playing up the inherent comic potential at the core of the material as he cranks up the humour. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham take centre stage as, respectively, DSS agent Luke Hobbs and former SAS black operative Deckard Shaw, the ultimate action movie odd couple once again forced to work together to foil the bad guy and save the world from a potentially cataclysmic disaster. Specifically Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), a self-proclaimed “black superman” enhanced with cybernetic implants and genetic manipulation to turn him into the ultimate warrior, who plans to use a lethal designer supervirus to eradicate half of humanity (as supervillains tend to do), but there’s one small flaw in his plan – the virus has been stolen by Hattie Shaw (Mission: Impossible – Fallout’s Vanessa Kirby), a rogue MI6 agent who also happens to be Deckard’s sister. Got all that? Yup, the movie really is as mad as it sounds, but that’s part of the charm – there’s an enormous amount of fun to be had in just giving in and going along with the madness as Hobbs and the two Shaws bounce from one overblown, ludicrously destructive set-piece to the next, kicking plenty of arse along the way when they’re not jumping out of tall buildings or driving fast cars at ludicrous speeds in heavy traffic, and when they’re not doing that they’re bickering with enthusiasm, each exchange crackling with exquisite hate-hate chemistry and liberally laced with hilarious dialogue delivered with gleeful, fervent venom (turns out there’s few things so enjoyable as watching Johnson and Statham verbally rip each other a new one), and the two action cinema heavyweights have never been better than they are here, each bringing the very best performances of their respective careers out of each other as they vacillate, while Kirby holds her own with consummate skill that goes to show she’s got a bright future of her own. As for Idris Elba, the one-time potential future Bond deserves to be remembered as one of the all-time great screen villains ever, investing Brixton with the perfect combination of arrogant swagger and lethal menace to steal every scene he’s in while simultaneously proving he can be just as big a badass in the action stakes; Leitch also scatters a selection of familiar faces from his previous movies throughout a solid supporting cast which also includes the likes of Fear the Walking Dead’s Cliff Curtis, From Dusk Till Dawn’s Eiza Gonzalez and Helen Mirren (who returns as Deckard and Hattie’s mum Queenie Shaw), while there’s more than one genuinely brilliant surprise cameo to enjoy. As we’ve come to expect, the action sequences are MASSIVE, powered by nitrous oxide and high octane as property is demolished and vehicles are driven with reckless abandon when our protagonists aren’t engaged in bruising, bone-crunching fights choreographed with all the flawless skill you’d expect from a director who used to be a professional stuntman, but this time round the biggest fun comes from the downtime, as the aforementioned banter becomes king. It’s an interesting makeover for the franchise, going from heavyweight action stalwart to comedy gold, and it’s a direction I hope they’ll maintain for the inevitable follow-up – barring Fast Five, this is THE BEST Fast & Furious to date, and a strong indicator of how it should go to keep conquering multiplexes in future. Sign me up for more, please.
#frozen 2#Once Upon A Time In Hollywood#crawl#crawl movie#Shazam!#Alita Battle Angel#ad astra#Brightburn#star wars the rise of skywalker#joker#joker movie#hobbs and shaw#2019 in movies
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okay so, hi !! 10 million later, and i finally have this bad boi up. for those of you who don’t know my name is maaria ( or mars. ) i am 23, i live in nyc, i can touch my tongue to my nose & i respect any bich that can bring me a good meme. holden ( the magnet ) is literally the worst person i know and i’m so sorry abt him lmao. learn more fax him below.
history.
holden is the product of an extramarital affair, his father was a new york city corporate lawyer ( largely based on jordan belfort aka leo dicaprio in wolf of wall street so pls be sympathetic towards his daddy issues lmao ) & his mother’s father owned one of the corporations he was retained for. they met at a cinco de mayo party, drunk off of margaritas. his entire existence was destined to be a travesty.
prior to him, his father had a daughter from first marriage, gianna ( 28 yrs old ) who vehemently pretends that holden is not related to him. he has two younger twin sisters margot and bridgette. ( both 13, both terrible. )
his parents clash heads a lot as holden’s father is quite frankly always toeing the line when it comes to matters of legality regarding his finances, stock trades, and client list so the fbi has fluttered in and out of their lives for years, trying to gather evidence against him.
regardless of the bullshit, holden’s always lived quite cushy living with a bougie gated community of mansions, summering in exotic places, and receiving a range rover the second he was able to drive, however given holden’s father’s unsavory background the rest of ashmont society has a low opinion of holden’s family.
his mother fusses over him to no end, still treats him like he’s six, calls him twice a day even tho he lives in the same damn town as these people, and still calls her mommy lmao. he literally has a tattoo in her honor. yah boy would throw hands for his mom.
he’s also fairly close to his younger sisters, his football jersey is their birthday year. ( 06 )
personality.
okay so summarize holden holistically, i will be providing two videos: this one + this one. now you know who holden is a person lmao.
ya boy turns up to every single party ever, invited or not. will 100% get drunk and dance in your kitchen to brittney spears. *britney vc* he’s not that innocent.
on the football team, and is dfjklfd very competitive. it’s sad boi hrs for holden any time the boys lose a game. catch him listening to celine dion and dramatically looking out a window for days after.
met bill nye once and cried abt on instagram live.
if he hasn’t quoted a vine all day, please know that like avril lavigne, the real holden has died and been replaced with a clone.
v v v friendly, and tries to make everyone and anyone he meets feel comfortable and appreciated no matter who they are, what crowd they’re from as long as they are respectful. gets super defensive when people are being bullying someone, and always calls them out.
the kinda dude who sits with the lonely kid if they let him fsdjlsfj.
will kick your ass, but will also cry if you put him on a roller coaster.
HE’S A PRE-MED STUDENT LMAO, I KNOW I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER... but at his core, hold is v much someone who lives to help other people. he’s incredibly stupid at a surface level bc he has big fuck boi energy, however he’s immensely gifted in mathematics and science and does try hard to keep his grades up between getting crunk at your next event.
was named after holden caulfield and has never read catcher as a lifelong protest to his name being an accidental dick joke.
volunteers at the hospital every other weekend, tho he wants to specialize in pediatrics, he loves spending time with the seniors. learns magic tricks to dazzle them
a huge fucking flirt. god this man is engaged to be marry ( holla cassidy turner ) but fdjslkfs... will flirt without even realizing he’s flirting.
also he was big slut back in the day so there’s big chance he might have slept with your muse ): this is what happens when your name is a dick joke. the dick life chooses you, you don’t choose it.
more aggressive than he should be... gets wound up and defensive over his friends, his girl, what he believes to be morally correct. is known to immediately start brawls without hesitation over the listed matters.
is fueled by rice krispy treats, skittles, burgers, cheese sticks, pizza, gatorade and probably like nothing else lmao.
has a v douchey 2019 range rover, and drives like a 84 yr old grandfather in it bc he’s afraid of fender benders. it’s name is lightning mcqueen, after the fucking movie cars even tho they look NOTHING alike.
holistically a nice guy, kind of a slut, prob needs an outlet for his anger.
based off of.
jared ( booksmart ), fred jones, aladdin, james potter, richie tozier, sodapop curtis, michael kelso, joey tribbiani, gob ( arrested development )
pinterest .
( X )
i’ll have a connection’s page and a pretty theme up later tonight fdljdfs.
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The Murder of Arthur Wright XVIII
First Prevous AO3
AN: And here’s the big summation. I recommend reading on AO3 and the author note at the end of the chapter, as I have a lot of things to say and tumblr’s formatting isn’t the best for saying them. As always, thanks for reading
Chapter Eighteen: The Legacy of Arthur Wright
Margot paused as she entered Benson hall. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled, though unlike the day of the mage’s conference there was no magic in the air, nor anyone besides herself and Dash to stare at her scars. It felt like an eternity and a half had passed since Master Wright’s death, when in reality it had been only days. How was it possible to feel so tired in such a short period of time?
Dash noticed her hesitation. “You okay, Prof?”
“Are you sure about this?”
“Nah, but I’m going to do it anyway.” He scratched the back of his head. “It feels right, you know? Have you ever had a feeling like that, deep down in your gut?”
“Once or twice. Sometimes my gut’s been wrong.”
“Been there, done that,” Dash said. “Can’t let past mistakes hold you back, otherwise you never end up going anywhere.”
“Thank you for your words of wisdom, Master Cain,” Margot said sardonically. Then, more seriously, “Are you sure they’ll show?”
Dash shrugged. “I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”
Desdemona found them first. She entered the auditorium where her father died with her head held high and a set to her shoulders that reminded Margot of a soldier marching into a battlefield. Her eyes found the blackened wreckage of the stage, not yet repaired from the explosion, and gave a rather unladylike snort.
“You have a flair for the dramatic, Mr. Cain. I’ll give you that much.”
“Miss Desdemona,” Dash said respectfully. “I’m glad you could join us today.”
“Don’t patronize me, Mr. Cain,” Desdemona said. “I’m here for one reason only.”
She walked to the front row of the auditorium and took a seat, somehow making the simple chair look like a throne. Dash tilted his head in curiosity. “Speaking of reasons, where’s your sister?”
“Hopefully far away from here,” Desdemona said. “I told you she’s innocent. There’s no reason to include her in this farce.”
Dash didn’t push the issue, choosing instead to meander next to Margot. He asked in a low tone, “Do you think you could track her?”
“Tobe thinks he could find a hair that was hers but I’m sure Abigail will have taken precautions by now,” Margot said.
“All right. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, then.”
Dash was selecting a jerky stick when Felix arrived, accompanied by his wife. At the sight of Desdemona he came to a dead stop, and Isabella brought a hand over her mouth in shock.
Desdemona craned her head to look at them, a cutting smirk stretching across her face. “Long time no see, brother dearest.”
“Desdemona,” he said curtly. “It seems Mr. Cain was capable of finding you after all.”
“It seems so.” Desdemona turned her attention on Isabella. “You must be the one he managed to marry. You have my deepest condolences.”
“You have no right to speak to my wife that way,” Felix growled.
“I’m no Wright at all,” Desdemona said. “Father took care of that ten years ago.”
Felix flushed scarlet. “You brought that on yourself. You were given every opportunity and threw it all away for a girlish whim. Do you have any idea how your selfishness affected the rest of us? How could you do that to your family? To Abigail?”
“You leave her out of this,” Desdemona said, her voice as hard as steel.
“It’s your fault she’s dead!” Felix bellowed. He tore himself away from Isabella and bridged the distance between himself and Desdemona in seconds. Margot moved to stop him, but Dash put a hand on her shoulder.
“Wait,” he murmured. “Let’s see how this plays out.”
“Mother wept for you,” Felix snarled. “For both of you. Ungrateful brat, can you imagine the pain you’ve caused her? She lost both her daughters the day your selfishness overtook your sense. She had to watch Abigail waste away for five years and was helpless to prevent the despair for overtaking her completely.”
“Is that what she told you?” Desdemona asked disbelievingly. She laughed, “Gods, I always knew you were her favorite, but Mother’s got you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she?” She returned to her seat and crossed her legs for no reason other than to irritate him. “It’s a good thing we’re not here for her or Abigail, isn’t it? Hate me all you want, you had no reason to accuse me of killing Father.”
Sometime during the exchange Isabella had come up next to her husband. She looked up at Felix, making no attempt to hide her shocked surprise. “You accused your sister of murder?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Desdemona asked mockingly. “Tut tut, Felix. Don’t you know that communication is key to a healthy marriage?”
Felix’s blush crept down his neck, but whatever retort he was going to say was swallowed by the arrival of Adeline Wright. Desdemona saw her first, and she stiffened as their eyes locked. Dark brown vied with stormy grey for dominance, and in the end it was Desdemona who looked away, scowling.
“Felix, Isabella, I told you not to come,” Adeline said. “I am more than capable of handling a few insignificant upstarts on my own.”
“We wanted to hear what Mr. Cain had to say,” Isabella said, her tone equal parts explanation and apology. “We wanted to put this to rest.”
“Good to see you too, Mother,” Desdemona muttered from her seat.
“My daughter died ten years ago. You no longer have the right to call me by that name.” Adeline said, as cold and unwelcoming as ice. Without giving Desdemona a chance to respond, she turned to Isabella, her expression reproachful. “It is unbecoming of a woman to speak in her husband’s place. Felix is more than capable of explaining for himself.”
It was clear Adeline’s words cut through Desdemona’s posturing like it were made of wet paper. Twin spots of pink formed on her cheekbones, and she seemed to shrink two sizes smaller. Her hands bunched into her skirts in a white-knuckled grip, tendons protruding against her skin. “I never would have left if not for you. I hope you know that.”
Adeline’s head swiveled back towards Desdemona like a hawk tracking its prey. There was a slight flair to her nostrils, her quicksilver eyes burning with suppressed rage. “I gave you an education, a loving home, and carved a place for you in society. Do you know what my mother would have done had I shown even a quarter of the defiance you showed me? I did my utmost to raise you as a gentlewoman, a lady of superior manner and breeding. Tell me, Desdemona, have you managed to find a suitable husband on your own? Where are your children, or have you rejected your responsibility as a woman as well as your family name?”
“I have neither husband nor children, and I’ll tell you why,” Desdemona said, her voice cracking under the strain of her emotion. “I saw firsthand what happens when a woman throws herself at the first man that shows her the slightest bit of interest and had no desire to repeat your experience. Can you honestly tell me you would have married Father if your parents hadn’t pressed the issue? Why after so many years of unhappiness were you so determined for us to repeat your mistake, especially when Felix was allowed to wait until he found someone he actually cared for?”
Desdemona laughed coldly as all the color left her mother’s face. “Oh yes, I’ve forgotten after so many years of living with the less enlightened species: Felix is a man, so he gets to do whatever he wants. But know this, Mother, had I been afforded the same basic courtesy of getting to know my potential spouse on my own terms, I never would have left. Chew on that until you choke on your own bitterness for all I care. You have no one to blame but yourself.”
With this pronouncement made, Desdemona leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. She waited for Adeline to answer, a look of cold calculation in her eyes, and satisfaction flashed across her face when she could not. Margot would not have been surprised if Desdemona’s speech had been ten years in the making, each word carefully selected to hurt her mother in the only way she knew how.
It was frightening, in a way, how similar they were in that regard.
Dash took in the entire exchange, his hazel eyes missing nothing. Nodding to himself, he finally straightened to his full height and said, “Time to get started.” Clearing his throat, he vaulted nimbly onto the ruined stage.
“I thank you all for coming today. I recognize this is difficult for each of you, but while each may have a different motivations that brought us here, I think we can all agree that there is more to the death of Master Arthur Wright than meets the eye.”
Dash looked at each of the Wrights in turn. Adeline, Felix, and Isabella were clustered together while Desdemona stayed defiantly alone. “I suppose you guys have jumped the gun a little in clearing the air, but I think it’s past time for the truth to come out.”
A flicker of movement caught Margot’s eye. Dash saw it too, and for a moment he faltered, unsure of what to do.
Margot gestured for him to keep talking and ducked to the back of the auditorium were Abigail Wright stood frozen in terror. Gently leading her by the arm, Margot took her to the lobby outside.
“You came,” she said.
“I didn’t want to,” Abigail said. The nervous twitching of her fingers was back, stronger than ever. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Deep breaths, Abigail,” Margot said. “You’re not alone. Desdemona is in there.”
“Which is why I came. After all she’s done for me, I can’t let her face this alone,” Abigail said. She looked at Margot, looking absolutely lost. “Gods, Professor. They think I’m dead.”
“Yeah, they do,” Margot agreed. “But you faked your death to escape your father, and he is dead. What’s the worst they can do to you?”
“Have me committed,” Abigail said faintly. “Lock me up so I’ll never see the light of day again.”
“You know your mother better than I do, but do you really think she would admit publicly that you only pretended to throw yourself in a river?” Margot challenged, keeping her voice low. “She’s still telling people you married a diplomat to avoid the scandal. There’s no keeping quiet if she tries to oust you now.”
“She tells people I married a diplomat?” Abigail said, bewildered.
Margot nodded. “And that your sister eloped with an orc.”
“Is there a situation where she doesn’t marry us off?”
“I don’t think so,” Margot said.
Abigail said something in Elvish that Margot doubted Adeline Wright would have approved of and scrubbed her face with her hands. “I’m sorry if I throw up.”
She pushed past Margot and strode into the auditorium. What she lacked in confidence she made up for in gravitas. There was a stubborn set to her jaw that Margot now recognized all the Wrights possessed, and she acknowledged Dash’s questioning look with a solemn nod.
“Ladies and gentleman, before we get started there is one more person who needs to get settled. I think you’ll find she needs no introduction.” As one the four Wrights looking at him turned to see who he was addressing.
Isabella shrieked with alarm and grasped the arm of a dumbfounded Felix. Both he and Adeline looked like they had seen a ghost, which, Margot supposed, they were. Silently Abigail walked past them and took her place next to her sister, evening the odds between the two factions.
“Abigail?” Felix whispered.
“Hello, Felix, Isabella.” Swallowing hard she managed to look Adeline in the eye. “Mother.”
It was then that Adeline fainted.
“She’s lucky Felix caught her.”
“I think high class ladies are trained to faint towards the nearest man,” Dash said. He sat on the edge of the stage, swinging his legs absentmindedly. Felix had laid his mother down on the ground and was using his wife’s smelling salts to revive her.
While this was happening Desdemona and Abigail had their heads together, whispering fiercely to one another. Margot couldn’t catch what they were saying, but watched with interest as Isabella crept away from her husband, slowly inching towards the twins. With a hand braced over the swell of her belly she crossed over the no-man’s land that divided the Wright family, finally catching Desdemona’s attention.
She rose to her feet and placed herself in front of Abigail. Desdemona was several inches taller and a great deal more intimidating than Isabella, and she used every bit of her superior bearing to look down at her sister-in-law.
“What do you want?” Desdemona asked.
“I don’t know you, but I did know Abigail,” Isabella said. “I have no idea what’s going on or what Mr. Cain has brought us here for. It seems like a cruel trick, but I know that can’t be it. Not after all this time.” She looked past Desdemona and said to Abigail directly, “I understand if you don’t believe me, but I’m glad you’re alive.”
It was difficult to say which of the twins was more astonished, but it was Abigail who moved first, rising smoothly to her feet. There was an anxious light to her eyes, not dissimilar to the expression Isabella wore. Carefully, like a wild animal testing a stranger intruding on their territory, she said, “I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused. I never apologized for my actions that night. It…it must have been a frightful shock.”
“You were the one who was hurting most of all, and I never realized. I’ve thought of you every day for five years, wondering what I should have done differently,” Isabella said thickly. She smiled, still bewildered by what she saw, and said, “But it doesn’t matter now, because you’re alive.”
Then, with complete disregard for decorum, she threw her arms around Abigail in a bone-crushing hug.
“I am so, so sorry.”
Abigail stiffened at the sudden intrusion of her personal space. She threw a helpless look to Desdemona, silently begging for her to intervene. Even then it took Desdemona several moments to regather her senses, and she pried the two apart.
“I don’t think Felix would care much for you throwing yourself at your previously-deceased sister-in-law,” Desdemona said.
“I don’t care,” Isabella said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I never knew my parents, so perhaps I can’t understand, but as a girl I used to dream of what it would be like to have a family to love and cherish. It kills me to see this feud tear you all apart.”
“It’s not that simple,” Abigail said numbly.
“Perhaps not,” Isabella said, “but I wonder what would happen if any of you bothered to try.”
She glanced behind her, where Felix was now helping Adeline back to her feet. Adeline pushed herself away from her son, moaning softly when that little exertion caused her to sway dangerously on her feet.
Once Adeline was sufficiently recovered she wasted no time in fixing Isabella with a stare that would have made a veteran war mage cower in fear. Isabella let out a sharp breath through her teeth, and for a moment looked like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do.
“No matter what happens, I’m glad you’re alive. Please believe me when I say that,” Isabella said quietly. There was another moment of hesitation before she finally went back to her husband’s side.
Desdemona whistled softly, eyebrows creeping towards her hairline. “I like her better than the last one Felix picked.”
“Isabella has always been very kind,” Abigail said faintly.
There was a lull, and finally some of the tension bled out of the room. It was only then that Dash chose to spring to his feet. Standing on the theater stage, he towered over the Wrights and commanded their attention with his presence alone. Removing his hat, he said, “I’m sure there are plenty of questions, and I promise they will be answered in due course, but the time has come to get down to the heart of the matter and the reason I’ve summoned you all here today: Master Arthur Wright is dead, and I’ve been doing my best to find out why.
"I have suspected from the beginning that foul play was involved. The authorities disagreed, and that was when I, along with Professor Margot, sought out Mr. Felix Wright for permission to investigate. It was at that day in the hospital that Mr. Wright hired me on the condition I prove his sister did the deed. A condition I failed to meet in a timely manner and was subsequently fired.
“My interest in the beginning was simple. Three years ago Master Wright hired Mr. Conan Westmacott to investigate Miss Desdemona. I was one of the men Mr. Westmacott had working that case—which ended in Mr. Westmacott’s retirement and the supposed death of Miss Abigail Wright, who had spent the previous two years institutionalized after a nervous breakdown.”
He paused to take a deep breath, his eyes flickering to Abigail. She was as tense as a drawn bowstring and just as likely to snap, but she gave the smallest of nods for him to continue. Clearing his throat, Dash said,
“Ten years ago Miss Desdemona ran away from home to escape what she thought to be an unbearable situation, causing great distress to both her parents. And yet Master Wright not only didn’t bring his daughter home, but disowned and cast her aside. Both Mrs. Adeline Wright and Mr. Felix Wright were devastated, albeit for different reasons, and neither forgave Master Wright for his decision, not realizing he had been blackmailed into inaction by none other than his second daughter, Miss Abigail Wright.”
“Lies,” Adeline hissed. “Lies and slander.”
“Which part, Mrs. Wright?” Dash asked. “Because your daughter was more than capable. She knew of the rumors that could ruin Master Wright’s research before it had a chance to get off the ground, and more than that held incredible influence over him. The mere threat of exposing the true progenitor of Master Wright’s theories would have been enough incentive to let Miss Desdemona go, let alone whatever nonsense happened while he was still teaching at the University.”
“What in the world are you talking about?” Felix demanded. “My father worked alone. He always has.”
“No, you just never realized that his research partner was right under your nose the entire time, because apparently none of you ever considered it possible that Miss Wright was doing more than studying under your father's tutelage. Your sister was working directly with Master Wright to make his dream of mass Teleportation into a reality. You can call me a liar till you’re blue in the face, but the facts are the facts, and the proof is in your father’s own letters.”
The silence was deafening. Adeline, Felix, and Isabella were all dumbstruck, and Abigail couldn’t bring herself to speak in her own defense. She began to shake as the various members of her family stared at her like she had grown a second head, causing Desdemona to wrap a protective arm around her shoulders.
It was telling, Margot thought, that none of them accused Dash of lying. At least not immediately. Maybe the combined shock of the pronouncement in addition to finding out she was alive after all these years had silenced them, but Margot thought that perhaps they could hear the ring of truth in what he was saying. Abigail had always had a reputation within the family as being strange and bookish. Maybe it wasn’t so hard for them to make the leap that under her father’s careful instruction she had become a serious student of magic.
Dash spread out his arms. “I don’t say these things lightly, nor do I enjoy digging at old wounds without reason. It is my belief that everything that has happened over the last decade has played a crucial role in Master Wright’s death. This mess,” he said, gesturing broadly the Wrights, “is his legacy. More than any theory or enchanted ring.
“But before we begin, I must ask one last thing. Mrs. Wright, would you please be so kind as to remove your gloves.”
“Excuse me?” Isabella asked.
“Sorry, wrong Mrs. Wright.” Dash scratched the back of his head, momentarily breaking the illusion of complete control he had been trying to cultivate. “I’ve never done a summation where all the people had the same last name before.”
“You mock me, Mr. Cain,” Adeline said, a faint tremor in her voice. Her swoon, whether real or dramatized, had tilted her hat askew, and for the first time she looked vulnerable and afraid. “Remove my gloves? Whoever heard of such ridiculous nonsense?”
“The theory Professor Margot and myself have put together is dependent on one fact that we have not yet confirmed,” Dash said. “If I’m wrong, you’re more than welcome to rake me over the coals, but I don’t think I’m wrong. Your gloves, Mrs. Wright. That is, if you have nothing to hide?”
“I have suffered enough indignity at your hands, Mr. Cain. I will not listen to another word that you have to say. Felix, Isabella, come along. We’re leaving.”
Adeline Wright gathered her both her dress and the scraps of her tattered pride and moved toward the exit. She made it halfway before she realized her son had not moved. Her eyes widened a fraction of an inch when she realized they would not be moving.
“Mother, he found Abigail,” Felix said plaintively.
“I…this is a trick. I don’t know what sort of evil who could give birth to such a scheme, but who would you rather believe, this orc or the greatest detective of our generation? Conan Westmacott saw Abigail jump with his own eyes. Her body was washed away to sea, and she is dead. D-dead and never coming back.”
Adeline’s composure, which had slipped considerably since Abigail had revealed itself, crumbled away entirely. She wept, not the graceful tears of a lady, but the ugly, uncontrolled sobs of a mother who had her heart ripped from her chest. She tore the black gloves off of her hands and threw them to the ground, and somewhere in the back of her mind Margot heard Isabella gasp.
Bandages covered Adeline’s hands, clumsily applied and in need of changing. At the sight of them Felix swore, and Dash nodded to himself in grim satisfaction.
“Wait, I was right?” Desdemona said. “Mother really was the one who killed Father? I didn’t honestly think…”
“It’s not that simple,” Dash said. “Prof, do you mind?”
Margot took Adeline by the elbow and sat her in the nearest chair. Gently she began removing the dressings, and was unable to stop a surprised hiss from escaping her at what she saw. The Wright matriarch’s hands were blistered and raw, the injury worst at the center of her palms and her fingertips. Calling on her magic, Margot gathered a handful of water.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Adeline demanded.
“Cleaning your wounds before they fester. I don’t know much healing magic, so it’s the best I can do for now.”
Adeline bore the humiliation stoically as fat tears continued to roll down her face. A few of the injuries went deep enough that Margot wasn't sure she had any feeling left. She thought of her own burn ointment back in her desk at the Academy and wondered if Adeline had self-medicated with something similar, or if she had simply gone without pain relief at all.
“You need a proper healer,” Margot said when she was finished cleaning the wounds. A cantrip removed the worst of the stains from Adeline’s bandages, though Margot didn’t know the spell that would have sterilized it entirely, and carefully she began the process of rewrapping her hands.
“Healers ask questions,” Adeline said numbly.
“Healers can be paid to keep quiet,” Margot said.
Adeline scoffed, a portion of her imperious nature returning. “There’s not enough money in the world that can keep a secret that’s desperate to come out. I’ve learned that again and again, and yet here we are.” She turned her watery eyes on Dash. “How did you know?”
“I told you, it was an unconfirmed suspicion. I noticed, Mrs. Wright, back when we first met. You winced when I took your hand. I didn’t think much of it at the time because you’re kinda racist and probably don’t like mixed-blood orcs touching you. But it kept happening, at the gravesite with your son, when you threatened me in my office, and just now when Felix helped you stand. Every time you touched something with your hands, you reacted as if in pain. And still I might not have thought anything of it, if not for Miss Abigail Wright.”
“Me?” Abigail said. “But I didn’t say anything about my mother.”
“No, but you did say your father protected his research with magic.” Dash clasped his hands behind his back and paced up and down the length of the stage. “Over the course of the investigation one thing became clear to me: Every one of you was trying to protect someone else. Why else would Mr. Wright be so quick to accuse his sister after not seeing her in ten years, or even knowing if she was there at the scene of the crime? Why else would Mrs. Wright approach both the professor and myself after we’d already been fired and demand that we leave her son alone? Why else would Miss Desdemona try to hide her sister, and why else would Miss Wright make it so clear that she and she alone had the knowledge needed to kill her father?”
Dash spun suddenly and pointed an accusatory finger at Adeline Wright. “You knew your son’s relationship with his father was on the rocks, and you knew that Felix spent the most time with Master Wright before his death. He had motive and opportunity to kill his father.”
He moved from Adeline to Felix and said, “You knew your mother fought with your father often. During the funeral funeral I overheard the servants say that Master and Mrs. Wright had a row the night before the mage’s conference. You knew how unhappy your mother was after years of scandals and the loss of two daughters. Mrs. Wright, you also had motive and opportunity to kill your husband!”
“My son had nothing to do with it!” Mrs. Wright shrieked. She bolted to her feet and held up her mangled hands for all to see. “This. This is proof that he didn’t!”
“Calm down, Mrs. Wright. I’ve not accused your son of anything yet,” Dash said. “Or you, for that matter.”
Adeline slumped back into her seat, a look of blank terror on her face. Again Dash began to pace.
“You told Professor Margot that your love and duty was to your children, and in Mr. Wright’s case I believe that to be true. He, after all, is the only one who came back. I can’t imagine what that would feel like, to cling so desperately to a child, your firstborn son, only for your own husband to push him away as useless just because they didn’t fit his idea of what sort of man he should become.”
“There’s no need for such introspection if you’re going to accuse me, Mr. Cain,” Adeline said. “I don’t deny it. I killed my husband. There, are you satisfied?”
“No, because it’s not true. You might have wanted to, but you don’t have the expertise to deliberately tamper with your husband’s research,” Dash said. “I do believe, however, that sometime during or after your last argument, you found Master Wright’s notebook where he kept his spells, and in a fit of rage decided to destroy it. Miss Wright mentioned that he kept it well-protected, and it seems like you managed to rip one handful of pages out before the defenses triggered. Your injuries kept you from accompanying your Master Wright to the conference, but it is clear now that you kept what you had done secret. All of Master Wright’s work on those pages would have been destroyed, including the formulas he had prepared for his demonstration.”
“But that’s ridiculous, even if it is true,” Felix said. “Father would have notice immediately and redone them. That has nothing to do with how he died.”
“You’re assuming that he had time to fix it,” Dash said. “Mrs. Wright played her part in this story, but she’s not the only one, because Miss Desdemona had decided to use the mage’s conference to extract a revenge of her own.”
“I don’t deny it, Mr. Cain,” Desdemona said stiffly.
“It would be a hard thing to deny, seeing as how your brother was present for it,” Dash said. “See, it all goes back to Miss Desdemona running away from home. That one incident was the wedge that drove everyone apart. Miss Wright was determined to see her sister go free, and she took measures with her father to make sure it happened. I’m sure you can imagine how well Master Wright took such a betrayal, and even as she continued to work with her father, Miss Wright’s health and well-being began to deteriorate, culminating in the incident that led her to being sent to the asylum.”
“Gods…” Isabella breathed, eyes widening in horror.
“Miss Desdemona found her there, and together they hatched the scheme to get her out. When she learned what her father had done to her sister she became furious. That rage smoldered for three years, and when she saw an opportunity to strike back against Master Wright, she took it. I’m sure the fact Mr. Wright was there as well was just icing on the cake.”
Dash turned to address Felix directly. “You were right about one thing, your sister was the one who got The Death of Desdemona in Anansi’s hands. Now Anansi claims they didn’t use Desdemona’s face during that performance, but I’ve got an inkling suspicion they’re lying through their teeth. Either way it doesn’t matter. The performance shook both you and Master Wright to the core. While you went out to drown in your sorrows, Master Wright went to demand answers. It’s there we enter act three of this tragedy.”
Again he paused to gauge the reaction of his audience. Finding them suitably engaged, he continued,
“Master Wright never met Anansi that night, but he did meet his daughter. Miss Wright—that is, er, I mean Miss Abigail, not Desdemona who wasn’t even there—admits to seeing him, wanting some answers of her own after all this time.
“Miss Wright claims she lost her nerve and never said anything to Master Wright. That might be true, but again it doesn’t matter because after an unproductive interaction he stormed away. Miss Wright, you said you thought your father was afraid, correct?”
“Yes,” Abigail breathed.
“As well he should be, since he came thinking Anansi was wearing the face of your sister. You two look a lot alike, but you aren’t identical, and your sister doesn’t have the same eyes you do.”
Realization hit Abigail like a ton of bricks. She staggered back into her seat and buried her head in her hands.
“Master Wright came thinking he’d see Miss Desdemona, and he saw Miss Abigail instead,” Dash said, almost sadly. “I don’t blame him for running.”
“But that still doesn’t have anything to do with my father’s death,” Desdemona said. “Abby didn’t kill him. She wasn’t there the day he died.”
“Hold your horses, I’m getting there,” Dash said. “See, there was one more thing that Mr. Wright said that I didn’t think much about at the time. Mr. Wright didn’t get back to his hotel room until after two in the morning, which caused yet another fight, this time between him and Master Wright. Mr. Wright says he was in bed by three—which again I have no way of proving but think is probably true—and Master Wright was still up working. Because of Mrs. Wright’s actions and the shock of seeing his dead daughter, Master Wright hadn’t yet recalculated the formula he would need for his big demonstration. Mr. Wright, what time did your father go to bed that night?”
“I…I don’t know,” Felix said.
“Exactly. Now, Miss Wright managed to reconstruct the formula Master Wright used for the mage’s conference: ten kilograms of graphite Teleported twenty-five meters.”
“But that can’t be right,” Felix said, confused.
“It is, and I’ll leave it to Professor Margot to explain why.”
Margot stepped forward. “I was there the day Master Wright died. I saw the chunk of graphite he was going to use for his demonstration. It was small, able to fit into the palm of my hand.” She formed a ball of ice to demonstrate. “Abigail, you were surprised by the calculation you came up with because the ideal that your father had always been working for had been one kilogram, not ten. Am I right?”
“Of course she is,” Felix said. “That’s what we were going to do. That’s what Father had always planned on doing.”
Margot nodded. “The defenses on Master Wright’s rings were substantial. They protected against any outside influence interfering with the magic within the ring and encouraged stability with the internal elements. But there is no protection against user error.”
She let the ice dissipate into the air. “In order to Teleport the graphite Master Wright had to calculate its physical properties into the spell: Density, shape, and weight are all key components in this process. A smaller object takes far less energy to Teleport than a large one, and the rings themselves were only a scale model of what he one day hoped to build. Their energy capacity was limited simply because of their size. The power it takes to Teleport a ten kilogram object versus a one kilogram object is substantial. The rings would have been forced beyond what they were designed to do, but since the spell itself was technically correct none of the failsafes would have triggered. This surge of energy would have been more than enough to trigger a thermal runaway reaction, causing the explosion.”
“There’s a saying among orcs that you reap what you sow, and for ten years Master Wright had done nothing but cultivate bad blood within the family,” Dash said. “No one person is any more responsible than the rest. Master Wright’s death was one of a thousand cuts, and without the perfect storm of events leading up to the mage’s conference he probably would still be alive.”
He jumped off of the stage and replaced his hat on his head. “I said that I was suspicious of foul play from the beginning, but I was wrong. Master Wright’s death wasn’t murder, but a stupid, senseless accident. And if you want my honest opinion, he had no one to blame but himself.”
#The Murder of Arthur Wright#daughter of the lilies#daughter of the lilies fanfiction#dotl fanfiction#margot
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Missed opportunities in the hannibal-verse
Hannibal, Barney and Clarice go to a gay rodeo to support Margot. They meet an effeminate twink cowboy who has been rivals with Margot for years. His posse consists of gender-bent/opposite versions of Hannibal Barney, and Clarice. Hannibal is in the worst cowboy costume you have ever seen in your life the entire time
Hannibal and Barney have to team up to do a medical thing
Clarice and Margot have to team up to do a farm thing
Hannibal, Margot, and Clarice go to a horse race. Hannibal realizes he hates socializing with rich people. Clarice wants to prove she can socialize with rich people. Margot has a lot of money on one horse and berates the whole pompous scene.
Margot, Hannibal and Barney form a terrible garage punk rock band.
Hannibal takes Margot and Barney and Clarice to his old favorite Baltimore gay bar. Margot complains about Clarice the whole time. The place is completely in disrepair and the owner tells Hannibal that the bank is buying them out at the end of the week. Hannibal vows to save it and return it to it’s former glory. Clarice is the only one of the four that has any skills regarding repair.
“Hey hannibal isn’t it kind of weird that for half of your life you coped with your problems by getting fucked by older women and now Margot, who misguidedly idolized you as a child, is now fucking your ex girlfriend?” “Shut up Barney”
They all smoke a bunch of pot
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DEV TEA ROOM: WORD OF THE DAY FINICKY ( 7/18 )
HEADCANON: Finicky Is there anything that your muse is particularly finicky about or a process that they find particularly finicky?
Without a doubt, Margot is very finicky when it comes to food, texture, and organization. This isn’t to say she’s overly picky when it comes to foods, clothing, or even other people’s systems of organization. She’s just incredibly particular about her own, and a few key aspects of what she consumes and otherwise wears.
Starting with the easiest to point out, Margot has a few issues in regards to food that aren’t typically and issue, until they are. Bananas are a definite no for Margot, as are anything that resembles a smoothie. She can typically get away with shakes if they’re purely made of ice cream and milk because they have a distinct texture that is different enough from a smoothie to make them doable.
When it comes to clothing, she gravitates towards soft materials that have a looser fit to them. She steers clear of anything scratchy ( wool ), anything skintight ( spandex ), and fabrics that have little give room ( leather ). More than anything else, it’s the texture of velvet that sets her teeth on edge and she avoids it at all costs.
Organizing her things is perhaps the most easily overlooked finicky behavior she has, but also one that she focuses on often. Margot’s books are arranged by genre, author and aesthetic. Her shelf is constantly changing, but always beautifully displayed. However, there’s a clear method to her madness that is as functional as it is pretty. Margot’s other belongings followed a very similar suit.
It’s important to note that all of these finicky behaviors all stem from the years HYDRA had her. Unfortunately, Margot was heavily shaped by the decades she was held captive, and though the things that made her finicky weren’t nearly the worst of what she endured, after decades of experiencing them, she’d do anything to avoid them.
Given the serum and her enhanced health, HYDRA decided that there was little need for her to have actual meals. Instead, her diet consisted mainly of smoothies, if they could be called that, that were packed with nutrients and banana flavored. They were chalky, an unsettling texture, and tasted horrible all around. Now, Margot couldn’t stand bananas or anything having to do with them, nor smoothies given how much she couldn’t stand the texture.
With clothing, she was constantly dressed in tac gear. A soldier and nothing more, there wasn’t anything comfortable about the clothes that were put on her body. They were skin tight, stiff, and consisted of far too many layers. She always felt constricted by them and the materials were typically scratchy and locked in any and all moisture.
As such, once she had the freedom to choose her own clothes, she avoided those at all costs, unless she was in the field. In which case, tac clothes were acceptable. Otherwise, her wardrobe was entirely made up of soft, loose fitting, comfortable clothes that were mix and matchable.
When it comes to organizing her things though, it stems from the value she places on them. Margot went so long without being allowed to own things that when she finally was able to again, she wanted them to be well taken care of, and shown off. Her books are a particular spot of pride for her, but she also displays artwork, rocks, and the figurines she’s collected.
So while Margot is in fact finicky about some things, it’s not without reason.
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Bethany Ball - The Pessimists
A small community in Connecticut. Three couples of middle age all have their respective struggles: Margot has never gotten over the loss of her baby girl, their three sons can only make up so much for this; while she is grieving, her husband Richard is having extramarital affairs to forget about his homely negative mood. Gunter and Rachel are new to the small place, the Swede has serious problems of adaptation and can only wonder about the small town Americans, whereas his wife Rachel tries to be supermom and get her children into the prestigious Petra school. Virginia’s daughter already attends this institution but the mother is starting to wonder if the place is actually a good choice while her husband Trip has developed an end of time fear and wants his family to be prepared for the worst case which is sure to come soon. While the parents are occupied with themselves, their kids are educated in a quite unique institution with very special educational views.
��Bethany Ball paints a rather gloomy picture of three middle-aged families. The love at first sight and life on cloud number nine is only a faint memory, if they are still interested in their partner, this is more out of convenience than out of love. Their children are strange creatures with which they have rather complicated relationships and whom they do not seem to understand at all. Life does not have much to offer outside the big city and so, consequently, the turn into “The Pessimists”.
It is upper class white suburbia life that the novel ridicules: the invite the “right” people to dibber parties even though they hate barbecuing and do not even like their guests. The women are reduced to being housewives even though they had successful careers in the city, yet, these are not compatible with life in a small town. They are not even aware of how privileged they are, they feel depressed and deceived by life, seemingly none of them got what they expected from life. Apart from being miserable, they pretend that all is best in their life to keep up the picture they want the others to see. Only brief glances behind the facade allow the truth to show.
This rather dark atmosphere is broken up repeatedly by episodes of Petra school. It is the absolutely exaggerated picture of an alternative institution which actually does not take education too seriously, but is highly occupied with spiritual well-being and a lifestyle nobody can ever stick too. The information mails they send out to the parents are simply hilarious and made me laugh out loud more than once – however, I don’t doubt that such places might actually exist.
A satire of small town America which is funny on the one hand but quite serious regarding the message behind the superficial storyline.
https://missmesmerized.wordpress.com/2021/10/13/bethany-ball-the-pessimists/
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"THE SUICIDE SQUAD" (2021) Review
"THE SUICIDE SQUAD" (2021) Review No one had felt more surprised than myself when I learned that Warner Brothers had plans for a new movie featuring the D.C. Comics characters - the Suicide Squad. Although a box office hit, the 2016 movie was a critical failure. "SUICIDE SQUAD" is also regarded as one of the worst films of the D.C. Extended Universe (DCEU) franchise.
Yet, Warner Brothers had went ahead with their plans. And the studio hired James Gunn; who had directed 2014's "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY" and its 2017 sequel, "GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, VOL. 2" for Disney Studios/Marvel Films; to write and direct its new film. Both Gunn and Warner Brothers claimed that their new movie, "THE SUICIDE SQUAD", was not a sequel to the 2016 film. Yet, they also claimed that it was also not a reboot. Both claimed that it is a "do-over". Huh. A do-over sounds like a reboot to me. If "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" was not a sequel, I found it interesting that it had utilized at least four characters from the 2016 film - Harley Quinn, Amanda Waller, Rick Flagg and George Harkness aka Captain Boomerang. It would have featured Floyd Lawton aka Deadshot as well, but Will Smith was unable to do the film. Even David Ayer, the 2016's film's director, had been slated to helm this second film . . . as a sequel. But in the end, Gunn received the assignment. And both the latter and Warner Brothers had decided this new movie would be a reboot. Hmmmm. Okay. "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" began with Amanda Waller, Director of A.R.G.U.S., assembling members from Task Force X - inmates from the Belle Reve prison - for a new mission. Broken into two teams, "A" and "B", they were sent to the South American island nation of Corto Maltese after its government is overthrown by an anti-American regime, and are tasked with destroying the Nazi-era laboratory Jötunheim which holds a secretive experiment known as "Project Starfish". Waller's immediate subordinate Colonel Rick Flagg led Team A to land on the island and is nearly wiped out from Corto Maltese forces. Apparently, another Suicide Squad member, Richard "Dick" Hertz aka Blackguard, had informed the Corto Maltese of their landing. Only Flagg and Harley Quinn had survived. Team B, lead by sharpshooter/mercenary Robert DuBois aka Bloodsport, managed to land without being detected, due to the Corto Maltese being distracted by Team A's landing. The Corto Maltese managed to capture Harley. Team B searched for Flagg and discovered him taking refuge at a base camp for rebel soldiers lead by one Sol Soria. Flagg and the Team B managed to convince Soria to help them achieve their mission to destroy Project Starfish. What can I say about "THE SUICIDE SQUAD"? It seemed to possess James Gunn's crazy brand of humor. This was especially apparent in the interactions between Bloodsport and another Team B member, the aggressively patriotic Christopher Smith aka Peacemaker; the deaths of most Team A members on the Colto Maltese beach; Harley's constant failure to recognize one of Soria's rebel soldiers and her final interaction with her captor dictator Silvio Luna. It also featured some interesting action sequences. I especially enjoyed the Suicide Squad's crazy ride through Valle Del Mar's streets, as the Squad and Soria's forces race to save Harley. The movie definitely benefited from first-rate performances from the cast. "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" featured excellent performances from Idris Elba as Robert DuBois aka Bloodsport, Viola Davis as Amanda Waller, Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flagg, David Dastmalchian as Abner Krill aka Polka-Dot Man, Alice Braga as Sol Soria, Taika Waititi the Ratcatcher, Juan Diego Botto as Silvio Luna, Storm Reid as Bloodsport's daughter Tyla, Joaquín Cosío as Major General Mateo Suárez and Sylvester Stallone's voice performance as Nanaue aka King Shark. However, the movie had its standout performances. One such performance came from Margot Robbie, who managed to knock it out of the park as Harley Quinn . . . as usual, despite some cringey dialogue. I was also impressed by John Cena's portrayal of the uber-aggressive Peacemaker. In fact, I would go as far to say that his comic timing may have rivalled Robbie's. I was surprised to see Peter Capaldi as the Thinker, let alone in a comic book movie. Yet, he gave a complex performance as Gaius Grieves aka The Thinker, the lead scientist of Project Starfish who finally revealed the truth and the U.S. government's role in it to the Squad. For me, the best performance came from Daniela Melchior, who portrayed Cleo Cazo aka Ratcatcher 2, daughter of the Ratcatcher. Melchior gave a very poignant performance in one scene in which she described her relationship with her father to Bloodsport during the team's respite inside a bar. Despite its virtues, certain aspects of "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" did not sit well with me. For example . . . the details behind the slaughter of Team A. If Blackguard had not ratted out the mission to the Corto Maltese military, Team A - along with himself - would have never been slaughtered. How did he do it? How did Blackguard managed to make contact and make a deal with the Corto Maltese Armed Forces before leaving the U.S. for the island? While he was a prisoner at a maximum prison like Belle Reve? How did he do it? What makes this so frustrating is that Gunn's screenplay never revealed how Blackguard was able to contact the Corto Maltese in the first place. And why did Amanda Waller assign Rick Flagg, her trusted second-in-command, to lead Team A? You know, the team that nearly got wiped out by the Corto Maltese troops upon landing? The team that was used as a distraction from Team B's landing. Why did she do this? At first, I thought she had finally regarded Flagg as disposable. And yet, once she had discovered that Flagg had survived Team A's slaughter, she ordered Bloodsport and Team B to rescue him. So, if she wanted Flagg rescued, why in the hell did she assign him to Team A in the first damn place? If Waller never had any intentions of killing Flagg, why did she bother to recruit Bloodsport to act as Team B's leader? Why did she do that? Why not simply assign Flagg as leader of Team B? In fact, she wanted Bloodsport as leader of Team B so badly that she blackmailed him by threatening to incarcerate his delinquent daughter Tyla at the Belle Reve prison. It seemed bad enough that Waller did not assign Flagg as Team B's leader. But she had to blackmail Bloodsport into assuming the role? Why? If she had wanted Bloodsport on the mission so badly, Waller should have reminded him of the mini bomb planted in his skull. This whole scenario regarding the Corto Maltese landing, Rick Flagg's situation, and the leaderships of both Teams A and B seemed like a vicious circle of contrived writing that produced several plot holes in the end. I find it amazing that both Gunn and Warner Brothers had insisted that "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" was a "do-over" or reboot of "SUICIDE SQUAD". Not only were four characters from the original film brought back for this movie, Gunn had utilized a good number of characterizations and plot points from the 2016 movie. For example, Bloodsport nearly came off as a remake of Deadshot. I realize that Gunn had originally intended for Deadshot to be one of the leading characters. But once he was unable to cast Will Smith, he hired Idris Elba to portray Deadshot. Then he changed his mind and decided to have Elba portray another D.C. Comics marksman - Bloodsport. The problem is that aside from some minor differences, Bloodshot reminded me a bit too much of Deadshot. Both were portrayed by actors of African descent. Both are considered among the best marksmen within the D.C. Comics universe. And both characters had complicated relationships with their daughters. When Gunn realized that he was going to have Elba portray Bloodsport, instead of Deadshot, I feel he should have been more original with the former character. Like "SUICIDE SQUAD", Harley Quinn had a romantic interest in "THE SUICIDE SQUAD". In the 2021 film, she had a romance with Corto Malta's leading dictator Silvio Luna. My problem with this romance is that it had no impact upon the movie's main narrative . . . unlike her relationship with the Joker in "SUICIDE SQUAD". Yes, I found Harley's breakup with the dictator to be one of the film's funniest moments. But I found the entire romance a big waste of time. I wish Gunn had thought of another way to handle Harley's experiences between surviving Team A's slaughter and joining Team B. Gunn had Harley discover Luna's plans to use Project Starfish against other nations. But so what? Even Waller had suspected that might happen. That is why she had sent Task Force X to Corto Malta in the first place. I am sorry, but I found Harley's romance with Luna to be a big waste of time. Gunn had created his own "bar scene" in "THE SUICIDE SQUAD". Perhaps he had added this sequence to give his protagonists a breather. Or perhaps he wanted to repeat the bar scene from "SUICIDE SQUAD", which is regarded as one of the best aspects of the latter film. How did I feel about it? This sequence featured a great performance from Daniela Melchior as Ratcatcher 2. Yet, it failed to impress me, unlike the 2016 film's bar scene. For me, a woman discussing her loving relationship with her father was not as interesting as a man regretfully confessing to killing his loving wife and kids in a fit of rage. And I still ended with the feeling that Gunn had simply attempted to plagiarize David Ayer's scene. I also found it interesting that the main villains for both movies were telepathic. And both - the Enchantress and Starro - had been exploited by the U.S. government. However, the Enchantress had been revealed as villainous before being discovered by Dr. June Moone and used by Waller. Starro did not work as a main villain for me. He had simply been an innocent captured and experimented on by the U.S. government. And his experiences had driven him to murderous behavior. Frankly, I feel as if the Thinker would have made a better "Big Bad" than Starro. The latter simply ended up as cartoonish and over-the-top to me. And his death . . . gruesome. There were other aspects of the movie that bothered me. Whereas Ayer had wasted the Slipknot character in "SUICIDE SQUAD", Gunn managed to waste a slew of characters in this film's first twenty minutes. And one of those characters proved to be Jai Courtney's Captain Boomerang. Another wasted character proved to be Michael Rooker's Brian Durlin aka Savant. The movie's opening sequence had spent a good deal of time on Savant's time in prison and preparation for the Corto Malto mission that his fate took me by surprise. And then there was the matter of the mini bombs planted inside the heads of the Task Force X members. In the film's final sequence, Waller tried to prevent the remaining team members from stopping Starro in his rampage against the Corto Malta inhabitants. Why did she want to prevent the team from saving the Corto Malta citizens in the first place? In the end, her staff knocked her out and prevented her from setting off the bombs inside the remaining squad members' heads. The problem I have with this scenario is the device Waller had planned to use to set off the mini bombs. It resembled a piece of technology straight from the mid-to-late 20th century, instead of the late 2010s or early 2020s. What happened to the smart phones used by Waller and Flagg in the 2016 film? Did Gunn deliberately downplayed the bomb switch technology so that he had an excuse to prevent Waller from carrying out her executions . . . and give Bloodsport enough time to set her up for blackmail, using the Operation Starfish file? And why was Waller’s operations stationed at the Belle Reve Prison, instead of the A.R.G.U.S. headquarters in Washington D.C.? All of this . . . it simply smacked of contrived writing to me. I also had a problem with King Shark. Earlier, I had pointed out that Sylvester Stallone gave a first-rate voice performance as this character. But I cannot say the same about how Gunn had written King Shark. The latter character struck me as rather infantile and cartoonish. Now I realize that King Shark was originally a human/shark hybrid from Hawaii named Nanaue. But was he portrayed in such a childish manner in "THE SUICIDE SQUAD", to the point I almost found it irritating and offensive. After all, the character had been portrayed with a great deal more intelligence in the comic books, the Harley Quinn animated series and in Arrowverse's "THE FLASH". Why Gunn had decided to portray King Shark as someone with limited intelligence, I do not know. Over the years, I have noticed that when non-American directors - especially those from Europe - make action films set in the United States, they have a tendency to raise the level of gore and violence that American directors rarely use. I also noticed that Gunn utilized an unusually high level of gore and violence for "THE SUICIDE SQUAD". I found it ironic. Many critics had praised this movie to the skies and rarely anyone complained about the level of violence in this film. Whereas DCEU movies like "BATMAN V. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE" received a great deal of complaints about its violence, "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" did not. Yet, I found the violence in the 2021 film ridiculously excessive. Huh. Yes, "THE SUICIDE SQUAD" had its virtues. It featured some good action sequences and excellent performances from the cast led by Margot Robbie and Idris Elba. But I believe that thanks to James Gunn's writing, the movie featured an unsatisfying main villain, too many plot holes, too many flaws and unnecessarily excessive violence and gore. By the time the surviving members of the Suicide Squad had its final confrontation with the main villain, I found myself despising this film. Perhaps one day, I will give this movie another chance and learn to appreciate it. Who knows? But right now, I despise and regard it as one of my least favorite comic book movies of all time.
#DC comics#dc extended universe#dceu#suicide squad 2016#david ayer#the suicide squad#the suicide squad 2021#james gunn#margot robbie#idris elba#harley quinn#bloodsport#viola davis#amanda waller#david dastmalchian#polka-dot man#joel kinnaman#rick flag#alice braga#king shark#sylvester stallone#jon cena#peacemaker#peter capaldi#the thinker#daniela melchior#ratcatcher 2#jai courtney#captain boomerang#michael hooker
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