#but man explaining their biology without being asked first makes me sob

[fexarii]

i have sm art of my spamton oc but im too shy to post any of it. hheglp/

[theunknowncryptid]

Chapter 15 - April 2015

Next

Masterlist

Jungkook x Y/n

After half of the Earth’s population is killed, International Governments take drastic action and Y/n is forced to live her worst nightmare.

Taglist:  @mygukandonly @cherrys-andnightskies @lovelymultiwrites @chogiyeol-utopia @deolly @agustdpeach @friendly-neighborhood-michelle @igotarmyofarohas @s0228 @illtakeoneofeverything-please @ancailinaerach @mayumioutloud @thefiresfromheaven @l4life @nerdycookiemonster-1222 @http-jinnie @lilacsmoon @krissykiwi @taeissoadorable @brinascorpio @tyraparker  @yn-dere @karissassirak @in-p1zz4-we-cru5t @mrcleanheichou @kuroiyumi @alhissrasha @tiddieshakeshownu @pink-blink @super-btstrash-posts @complicatedjules @novastarpie @losverslane @hereforaus @hopelisworld @400ft

April 2015

The sky was turning darker faster than Y/n would have liked. She glanced up warily and silently willed the barista to hurry. Y/n would have to move fast if she was going to make it to Jungkook’s house before the rain fell. The air felt heavy with mist and the open street was littered with new spring leaves. Wind danced around the few people that were willing to be awake at 8am on a Saturday. It lifted the edges of Y/n’s jacket and hair.

“Here you go. Have a nice day.” Said the woman at the coffee cart, handing Y/n a carrier with two coffees and a bag with croissants. Y/n smiled her thanks and started her walk from downtown. Her heeled boots clicked quietly against the pavement. Brick buildings reflected golden light across the sidewalk.  Y/n sighed contentedly. Months ago, she would have despised the idea of waking up early and walking across town. Now, it was a different story. Dating Jungkook had made Y/n happier than she could ever remember being. He made everything better. Y/n’s steps felt lighter and the air smelled sweeter. So, waking up early to bring her boyfriend breakfast and a good morning kiss seemed like a doable activity.

Y/n smiled as she thought about the last few months. Memories flooded her brain and Y/n had to bite her lip to keep from laughing out loud. She thought about their first date, three months ago- awkward and uncomfortable. Should she hold his hand? Would he hold her hand? What should she order at dinner? Jungkook wore a tie and kept fumbling over his words. Half the night Y/n kept crossing and uncrossing her legs under the table. Finally, Jungkook sighed, pulled roughly at his tie and ripped it over his head. 

“This is stupid” He said. “Do you want to go see a movie or something?” 

The waitress returned with their meals to $30 left on the table. The rest of the night was spent laughing at cheesy horror movies. Halfway through the second movie, Jungkook leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to Y/n’s lips. He moved slowly and with hesitation. Pulling back, Y/n noticed the look in his eyes. Jungkook looked nervous, but happy. Then, he smiled widely.  

After that, things fell into place naturally. Because they had been friends for years, Y/n felt as though they had been together forever. Jungkook held her hand in the hallway and walked her to class. Y/n knew that she had never smiled or laughed more in her life. About a month ago, Jungkook had tried to convince her to skip class. He pulled her by the hand behind the stairs and trapped her between his body and the wall. 

“You hate Biology anyway!” Jungkook complained. He punctuated each word with a kiss. 

“We can’t skip class!” Y/n giggled. Jungkook wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her to his height. Y/n squealed and pounded playfully on his chest, unknowingly catching the attention of Mr. Fritz. The teacher found them pressed against the wall, sufficiently late for class. Y/n was grounded from seeing Jungkook for a week after that.

Y/n smiled as she walked. She was halfway to Jungkook’s house now. The cold air sent chills up her spine. It reminded Y/n of two nights ago in Jungkook’s truck. For their three month anniversary Jungkook had driven them an hour away to cliffs overlooking the ocean. He backed his truck up to the cliff, much to Y/n’s horror (Jungkook wasn’t the best driver), and lifted the hood off the truck bed. Arranged in the bed were blankets, pillows, and some snacks. Y/n smiled and threw her arms around her boyfriend. 

The pair watched the sun set over the sea until the stars were visible. Innocent cuddling slowly turned to passionate kissing. Shaking hands pulled off clothing and the chilly air formed goosebumps on exposed skin. Jungkook kissed Y/n softly to try and soothe the pain. When both were left panting and exhausted, Jungkook pulled Y/n against him under the blanket.

“I love you,” He said. Y/n pressed a quick kiss to Jungkook’s lips. 

“I love you, too”

Reliving the moment brought a blush to Y/n’s cheeks. She hadn’t seen Jungkook since they had slept together and Y/n was itching to see him again. She thought that she had been in love before, but now.. It was like she needed Jungkook to breathe. Every part of her wanted him and 48 hours without him was torture. 

Y/n tried to get a handle on herself as she turned onto their street. The Jeon family house was four houses down from the Y/l/n’s. Y/n looked up at the grey sky. It was starting to sprinkle. She just made it under the porch awning before the rain began pouring. Y/n knocked on the familiar door. 

After a moment, a beautiful woman opened the door. Her black, shoulder length hair was streaked with grey, revealing her age. Her face was wrinkless and kind. She smiled warmly at Y/n. 

“Good morning,” Jungkook’s mother said, stepping aside so Y/n could come in.

“Good morning, Mrs. Jeon. Is Jungkook awake?” Y/n asked. Mrs. Jeon laughed.

“Probably not, but you can go down and wake him.” Mrs. Jeon pointed to the stairs just off the entryway. Y/n thanked the woman and headed for the stairs. 

Jungkook’s bedroom was in the basement of the house. A short hallway decorated with family photos led to Jungkook’s bedroom and a small bathroom. Y/n furrowed her eyebrows at the sound of quiet voices coming from the bedroom. Curious, she crept forward quietly, trying to see through the slightly ajar door.

“You gotta tell her.” A voice pleaded. Y/n tilted her head slightly. She knew that voice. It was Taehyung. “This has gone on long enough.”

Y/n moved closer so that she could see in the cracked door. Jungkook was sitting on the edge of his bed with his back turned to Y/n. He was still wearing his pyjamas and looked as if he had just woken up. In the grey, morning light coming from the window, he seemed to glow. He looked like a Greek God with bedhead. Taehyung was standing, fully dressed, in front of Jungkook. His face had a stern expression, like that of a teacher giving a lecture. Y/n had never seen Taehyung look like this before.

“No,” Jungkook muttered. He was looking at the ground, refusing to meet Taehyung’s eyes.

“You gotta tell her!” Taehyung insisted.

“No.” Jungkook shook his head. Taehyung ran a hand over his face impatiently.

“Y/n thinks your relationship is real, Jungkook!” Taehyung said. Y/n stepped back subconsciously. This conversation made no sense. A horrible churn pulled in Y/n’s stomach.

“What am I supposed to do? Admit it was all a big joke!” Jungkook yelled. Y/n’s breath caught in her throat. Her head was spinning with confusion. Unknowingly, Y/n tightened her fists. The bag of pastries crinkled in her hands, breaking the silence in the hallway. On the other side of the door, Taehyung looked up. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped.

“Y/n…” Taehyung gasped. Jungkook turned and stood up, fast. He locked eyes with Y/n to find only anger and hurt. Stressed out, nauseous, and losing focus, Y/n calmly set down the coffees and croissants on a side table, then turned and ran.

“Y/n, wait!” Jungkook yelled. Y/n could hear him running up the stairs behind her, but she didn’t stop. She rushed forward, pulled open the front door and ran out of the house. The rain was falling heavily, but Y/n didn’t care. She needed to be out of that house. She didn’t want to hear anymore of the conversation. She didn’t want to understand.

“Y/n! Stop!” Jungkook yelled. Y/n made it to the street before he caught her. Jungkook grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. His hair was sticking to his face from rain and his clothes were quickly becoming soaked. 

“I can explain,” Jungkook said. His face was desperate and worried. 

“Then explain!” Y/n yelled over the rain. She was furious now and she was directing her rage straight toward Jungkook. “What did you mean our relationship is a joke?”

Jungkook dropped her arm. “Please don’t be mad.” He pleaded. Y/n just glared through the rain.

“Cade Patel dared me… that I couldn’t get you to sleep with me by graduation.” Jungkook said slowly. His eyes bored holes into Y/n’s. “Taehyung and Jimin told me that you liked me, so I took the bet.” 

Tears fell over relentlessly and Y/n only hoped that Jungkook couldn’t tell in the rain. She didn’t want him to have the satisfaction. It took all Y/n’s effort just to remain standing and not fall to pieces in the middle of the street. The man she was in love with was telling her that their relationship… didn’t exist.

“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook said. He stepped forward with his arms raised and Y/n flinched away. His face fell even further. “It started as a joke, but it’s different now!”

Y/n looked down at the street. She couldn’t look at his face.

“You said that you loved me.” Y/n sobbed. “You’re my best friend.”

Jungkook looked at her in a loss. There was nothing to say and there was nothing to do. He felt tears pricking at his eyes painfully. 

“Please, Y/n..” 

Y/n backed away. She couldn’t take this anymore. Her heart was broken.

“I don’t want to see you again.” Y/n muttered quietly. She turned and ran down the street, leaving Jungkook alone, frozen, and full of regret.

[tenmillionwhumperflies]

Cloudwalker Series Part 10

Bit of plot building and also a broken, and very sad Ihuka. The only warnings I can see are a very vague implication of a character death and maybe a warning for loneliness and a fear of being alone?

Master-list Here

Approx WC: 2200

Avizon did not wake them in the morning, but Ihuka woke to the smell of food. He was so hungry, but he didn't want to wake Dyan, he didn't want to get in trouble. He'd lost, he accepted with great heartache that Avizon was now his master. That meant doing what he wanted, but what did he even want? He couldn't understand him.

Ihuka lay still, musing over how much pain he was in, the deep burning aching that shrouded his body. The slimes and other things Avizon had put on his back felt like they’d faded away, leaving him in agony again. He couldn’t help but whine. He wondered what else Avizon would do to him if he was bad again. 

Dyan was still asleep, no doubt tired from his night terror. Ihuka wanted to stay in bed and go back to sleep but his wild instincts wanted him to get up, to get up, get on with it and survive. Instead all he could do was cuddle up to Dyan and wait for his master’s return. It was nice being able to hold Dyan, to feel the rise and fall of his chest, the hot air stroking his shoulder and parts of his chest that weren’t wrapped up in bandages. It was good to not be alone anymore.

When the door did open, Dyan groaned and woke up, rubbing his eye clumsily with his hand. “Master?” “Wake up, little birds,” Avizon said softly. He approached Ihuka and put a hand on his forehead. Ihuka flinched and squeaked immediately. He didn’t want to hurt anymore, no more!

“Easy, Ihuka, easy now. Today, you stay in bed, you have a fever. Dyan, I have a job for you this afternoon. Eat your breakfasts, then I want you to get dressed and go to the main hall. You remember the way?” “Yes, master.”

Avizon nodded and left again. The two cloudwalkers carefully peeled themselves out of bed to eat their meals on the floor.

Ihuka watched Dyan with curiosity. If he did what he did then maybe he wouldn’t get in trouble. He watched as he ate, picking up food with his hands and pushing it into his mouth. Ihuka did the same, but his attention wandered to Dyan’s missing horn. “What happened to it?” Dyan looked up, to see where Ihuka’s eyes were looking, but then he realised. “My horn? It… It got cut off by humans, because I tried to escape… It hurt… so much…” he shuddered. Ihuka frowned, raising his hand to touch it, but thinking better of it. “I’ve never seen one broken like that before, but the rest of it will still grow into a spiral. You haven’t lost much once it’s grown at least.” Dyan looked down glumly at his food. “That's true, but sometimes I can still feel the pain… Could we please talk about something else? Master wanted me to teach you human words. Maybe we could try some?”

Ihuka nodded. He needed to learn the language if he wanted to stay safe. He quietly tried to form the few words he knew, even if he didn’t understand them. He spent a few minutes trying to discover the new sounds in his mouth, how to make the M sound, and giggling to himself when he felt the vibrations in his throat.

Dyan sat with him and helped to teach him some sounds that he’d need, and Ihuka was eager to learn. Dyan taught him a few words, Master, bed, food, and blanket, and his first phrase: I’m sorry. Ihuka kept trying until he was able to make his words sound less hissy. Dyan praised him as though he were a brother, smiling gently.

“Humans aren’t usually nice creatures, but they hurt less when you make them happy,” Dyan said. “That’s why I sit still, let him cut my nails and everything else. There’s no point trying to stop them. They get what they want and they’ll hurt you to get it.”

Ihuka frowned, but he understood.

Dyan got dressed into his nice clothes and dusted them off. “Master wanted you to stay here because you are hurting. I will be back later. Keep practising your sounds, and try to sleep. Sleep helps.” Ihuka nodded with another frown. He didn’t want to be on his own anymore. Dyan could see that quite easily. Dyan helped him back onto the bed and hugged him for a moment. “I’ll be back later, promise.”

Dyan left the room and went the way he'd went the day before. He was confident he knew where the main hall was, that big room with the throne- or was that the throne room? Dyan frowned, hoping he was going the right way.

Avizon was waiting in the hallway by the large room. “Ah, so you did know your way, good bird. Is Ihuka behaving himself?”

“Yes, master, I taught him his letters so he’s practising. He’s trying very hard for you.” “Good… good. The sooner he learns, the better. I realise my harshness with his punishment means he is afraid of me, more so than I want him to be. I think being able to understand each other will help remedy that.”

“He hurts badly, master. He can’t move very well.” “I know, and if your work is good today, I will make a potion to fix that.” “Of course, master, but what is it you want me to do?” Dyan asked nervously. Avizon smirked. “Follow me, little bird. There’s… something I need to understand about you.” Dyan gulped but followed him up the stairs, past Ihuka’s room. He went inside to give him more of that plant to chew on which helped with pain, then he locked the door and then on to a spiral staircase. They went up and up until Dyan’s legs ached.

But finally they came to a door, and Avizon ushered him inside. “Your species really are remarkable. Your venom is so often collected to use on arrowheads. Your feathers make an excellent fuel and incredible explosive source once treated by a professional hand.” Dyan pursed his lips and lowered his head. Avizon took him by the chin. “And last night, when you had a dream, you saw me when I looked into your mind. You change things, Dyan, you’ve changed everything. It’s not just a case of biology anymore, but magic.” “I… I thought that was common knowledge that sorcerers can harvest our feathers for power, master?” “Yes, but you showed the potential to wield it. It’s not just that you have something magic that you don’t use… Turn around little bird, I’d like a single feather from you.” Dyan obeyed wordlessly. He yelped as Avizon tugged one out and compared it to one of Ihuka’s black feathers. He frowned. “Ihuka’s is more powerful on the surface, I can feel it… but why- well, there could be a number of reasons, wing colour, age, your broken horn-” “I’m sorry, master. W.would you return me to the market?” Dyan whimpered. “I. I can still serve you if you only wanted the feathers, I can still be useful-” Avizon hushed him gently. “Steady, little one. You’re still mine. I am too powerful to solely depend on feathers, it is more of a bonus, you feathers use different magic from what I am used to wielding, light and pure magic, something truly good in this cruel world. You’re going nowhere- Dyan, I’ve told you this. I won’t change my mind.”

Dyan nodded with a shaky breath. “Yes, master, I’m sorry.” He watched as he lay the feathers side by side. “You are indeed a mystery but you need have no fear. I will not hurt you to find out, besides, that is for another day. Today, I want you to simply tidy up this room while I work. I will give you instructions, simple ones, and once Ihuka is healed, I will give you both larger rooms to clean.” “Yes, Master. I. I can do that.” Avizon set him to work while Avizon studied the two feathers. The quiet was more comfortable than Dyan expected, but he still wanted to be finished as quickly as possible. He hoped Ihuka was alright. “I want you to take this tapestry outside and clean it, you know how to do that?” “I think so, Master, but perhaps you could tell me how you want it done? I wouldn’t want to make a mistake.”

So Avizon patiently explained, and then Dyan carefully picked it up and took it away. Avizon watched him from his balcony as he beat the dust and grime out of it, and then started to carefully clean it. He worked fast, but also with great care. It soon changed from a dirty rag into a vibrant tapestry. Dyan heaved it back inside and hung it up once it was almost dry. He looked at Avizon with big eyes, like a puppy waiting for a reward.

Avizon smiled and gently patted his head. “I’m impressed. Well done.” “Is that your castle on there?” Dyan asked quietly. “Yes,” Avizon mused, “but this tapestry is old. This was made long before I took over, before I stole it from the king.” “You did?” Dyan breathed, stunned.

“Yes, I stole what was precious to him because he took something… incredibly precious from me. The king was not a nice man, nor was his daughter. It has been a long time, but I am ready to restore this building, to make it even better than it was. I plan to change this world, Dyan, no soul will live their life without hearing my name, but what kind of change, good or bad, well, I am yet to make up my mind. I’ve been feeling... different, over the last few days.”

“Whatever your decision, it will be an honour to serve you.”

Avizon smirked. “You may go now, the key is still in the lock, turn it and it will open.” Dyan frowned. “Was I not good enough to earn the reward for Ihuka?” Avizon opened his drawer, “Yes, of course you were. I admit it slipped my mind.”

Avizon went into the corner of the room, where hundreds of bottles were lined up, all cleaned and lined up nicely thanks to Dyan’s work. He mixed a few together and mixed it with a finger. Then he took a black feather, cut off the end and closed his eyes. Dyan could see the power slip out of it, into the liquid Avizon had made. It immediately changed colour, became a shining iridescent and glowing liquid. “This should help him regain his strength. Let us go and see the little demon.”

They found him curled up on the floor under the blanket, a sobbing shaking mess.

His breathing was raspy and he had old tears in his eyes, a flushed face. He looked awful, so sick and weak and tired. Dyan rushed to his side with a worried cheeping noise. He nudged Ihuka gently and encouraged him to open his eyes. Dyan could see his pain, the upset. Ihuka grabbed him and wrapped him in a tight hug. “Please don’t leave me alone…” he whimpered. “What does he say?” Avizon asked softly, kneeling down beside him and feeling Ihuka's forehead again. “He’s… begging me to not leave him on his own.” Dyan stared in horror. Avizon sighed softly and sat Ihuka up against the wall, but he didn’t have much strength left in him. Avizon had no choice but to sit beside him, holding him and supporting him like an infant in his arms. “Alright… Ihuka, drink.” Ihuka was uneasy, but he did so, coughing badly once he’d drank it and screwing up his face. “M.Math-Master?” Ihuka managed, the word didn’t sit comfortably on his tongue, he wasn’t used to speaking as humans did. Still, Avizon smiled and praised him. “Good bird! Good bird. What else did you learn?” “I… I sorry… I bad.” Avizon stroked his cheek and this time Ihuka relaxed against the feeling.

“You’re a clever little thing,” Avizon said, gently continuing his praise as he lifted him into bed and rearranged the blanket. Dyan took off his clothes so that he could lie down on the bed with Ihuka, cuddling with him. Ihuka clung to him as tight as he could. 

"It seems the pain I caused you wasn't the only thing which broke your spirit… You suffered when you were alone down there?" Avizon frowned. "Social creatures indeed…" He could only imagine how cloudwalkers felt when they were the only one bought.

Ihuka looked up at him with wide and fearful eyes. Avizon ruffled his hair with care and then looked at Dyan.

"Tomorrow after breakfast come to the tower again. Bring Ihuka. He can sleep upstairs while you work," Avizon said. Dyan nodded. "Yes, thank you, Master." Avizon ruffled Dyan's hair and felt Ihuka's forehead again. "I'll bring you both some food and water. You can both sleep if you want."

Ihuka snuggled further against Dyan's chest and Avizon sighed. "If he gets worse, tell me. Shout, I'll hear." "I will, thank you, Master."

As Avizon left, Ihuka broke into sobs and clung even tighter to Dyan. Dyan held him back, wrapping his wings around him and whispered, "It's okay. I'm here. I will always be here for you." He was no Ryuvek, no leader or his brother by blood, he never would be, but he was Dyan, and he would do all he could to look after him.

[sunmaylight]

TGCF Book 3 Reaction pt.4 - Wind & Water Master Arc: The Water Master Side & Ghost City pt. 3, Party City in the Crimson Light

Here we are. At the second (?) half of the Wind and Water Master Arc. I don’t know about the rest of the community, but I now consider that the Wind and Water Master Arc to be split on which of the two Elemental Masters are focused. With Wind Masters’s arc first and Water Master’s arc second.

I am excited cause the Water Master side had a going in it. Especially since the Black Water Sinking Ship - He is going to be introduced. I wonder how his lair will be compared to Hua Cheng’s. Can’t wait

Obviously, what I forgot to mention earlier. If you haven’t figured it out already,

SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK

Ch 119: Xie Lian says Four Supremes, but someone corrects him that it’s the Four Calamities.

- Me: lol. He forgot Qi Rong is part of them.

Famous saying in the Underworld: “Crimson Rules the Land; Black Masters the Waters.”

- Me: Wow. What a quote from the book, got to note that down.

Pei Ming: Demon Xuan.

- Me: ...wait. Scholar He. Demon Xuan....SQX has He and Xuan as part of his birth name..... MF!

How to ride a Flying Shovel 101 with Ming Yi and Shi Qingxuan

1) Have the owner step on the handle

2) Have the guest stand on the spade of the shovel

3) Fly

Hua Cheng soaking in Xie Lian protecting him like a cat

- Me: That is one smug cat.

Fangxin is an old blade and has to fly for a long time

- Me: Oh, so it’s grand-sword Fangxin instead of Uncle Fangxin

Hua Cheng is standing on water while holding Xie Lian

- Hehe. Christianity reference could happen. Hua Cheng = J**us

The two get swept up by the waves and land on shore. Xie Lian sees Hua Cheng isn’t breathing. Xie Lian gives him CPR

- Me: Wait, do Ghost need to breath?

Hua Cheng opens his eyes

- Me: Oh! MF

Ch 120: Coffin Boat building

- Me: The ‘wilderness survival episode’

Xie Lian telling Hua Cheng that to him, “...what matters is you, not the state of you.”

- Me: *wipes tear away from eye* I-I’m not crying. Are you crying?

Riding the waves in a closed coffin that is designed to house only one person.

- Me: Well, I can think of a lot of ways where this can go wrong and horny.

The entire coffin scene until they break out to see who/what is whacking their ‘boat’. The are greeted to the sight of Pei Ming and Shi Wudu staring at them

- Me: Well, this is like what, the second time Pei Ming caught Hua Cheng and Xie Lian in a romantic situation?

Pei Ming taking Demon Xuan’s minions and forming them into a basketball

- Me: Hi, I need visual of this entire scene please

Action scene! The invisible water demons.

- Me: oh yay! I was wondering when that would happen. 

- Also me: You know, I would love to see a book of spells and hypological structures of how ghost biology is

Lake mirror shows another realm. SQX is trapped in a prison with others. Everyone, except Pei Ming jumps into the Mirror Lake

- Me: Well, what reference can I put for that? Through the Looking Glass? Wonderland? Movie thing?

Xie Lian asks Hua Cheng for Spiritual Power and has to emphasize on the ‘little’

The other side of the mirror lake is a place where spiritual powers fail. Xie Lian is the only fighter of the group now...besides Hua Cheng if  he decides to do something

- Me: Xie Lian, I hope you become a great MVP

Ch 122-123: Revealed that the group has ended up at the Nether Water Manor. They go to the manor and have a jump scare from a skeleton that literally jumps at one of them at a certain phrase said.

- Me: Oh, yeah. I think things are being pieced together in my head now...not a pretty picture.

They find a Distance-Shortening array that can only teleport one person at a time. Ming Yi is the only one who can activate it among the group.

- Me: Well, isn’t that the perfect timing to separate the group.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng end up at the Puqi Shrine with the rest of the group is unknown. Xie Lian understands who the Reverend/Demon Xuan is. 

- Me: Called it

Xie Lian learns that Hua Cheng and Demon Xuan had some agreement in the past that makes the two unable to sabotage if it’s something important to the other.

Ha Cheng seeing Xie Lian do a familar hand seal: “...gege?”

- Me: *sob* I can hear so much emotions from Hua Cheng when he said that as the Ghost King realizes what Xie Lian is going to do. Confusion, realization, fear, concern, and so much more

Xie Lian is now with SQX in the horror game: Survive on Nether Manor Island. It is filled with running, hiding your intentions from your ‘best friend’ and trying to find your brother. Try your best to survive, or else your fate will be decided by Black Water.

- Me: Well, that is a horror show that I didn’t put much notes in. Must be because of how absorbed I was in the story at that time.

Xie Lian monologuing about his discoveries of everything so far. How he connects the dots and realizations to everything about Ming Yi’s identity

"Ming Yi” utterly destroys Water Master’s fan attack with a flick of the wrist and takes the fan away from him.

“Ming Yi” dissolves into Demon Xuan like water flowing down paint to reveal the actual picture underneath. 

- Me: I need visuals so bad.

He Xuan drags SQX and SWD to some dungeon like place. He Xuan gets his own brand of ‘justice’.

- Me: No comment. Read this for yourself

The horror of the climax of the Wind & Water Master arc ends with Xie Lian ejected from SQX’s body at the most crucial moment. He awakens to the sight of Hua Cheng sucking the spiritual energy out of his body to cancel the spell. Hua Cheng is kissing Xie Lian

- Me: Wow. Efficient. Don’t know how to react to seeing this romantic scene after something horrific though

Ch 125: Qi Rong ruins the moment

- Qi Rong, I would start running now.

The aftermath of the Wind & Water Master Arc ends with them picking up Pei Ming. Also learn a new side to He Xuan, he is a lonely man whose thirst for revenge fed him for so many years. 

“No one can know what he’s thinking.”

- Me: Now I feel sad for He Xuan. Even moreso now then before.

It is revealed that the fisherman were dragged into the sea during the Water Master’s Heavenly Trial by a third party.

- We have a possible thi- fourth party. Previous three: XL & HC, Heaven, He Xuan

-----

Ch 126: Xie Lian and Hua Cheng try to learn who is this other mysterious party is for dragging Xie Lian to Banyue pass, and now this.

- Me: Concern. Who is dragging Xie Lian around? Why are they dragging him around?

After the funeral for Water Master, Qi Rong is behaving funny. Hua Cheng barges in and takes the two away to Ghost City.

- Me: Ghost City pt. 3, Party City in the Crimson Light? ((Oh, that should be the other header))

The group is at Ghost City, without someone.

- Me: Wait! They forgot Lang Ying ((MY SON!))

 Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are by themselves. Hua Cheng practices calligraphy again at Xie Lian’s encouragement. 

Ch 127: Ghost are going out of control, Qi Rong escapes, Hua Cheng is acting clingy to Xie Lian. In the background as Qi Rong escapes, it appears that he has a routine with Ghost City 

- Me: lol. Even in this pain, they have a routine that is uninterrupted. 

Qiandeng Temple is sealed shut. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are trapped. THAT ENTIRE SCENE OF XIE LIAN CALMING AN ALMOST BERSERK HUA CHENG

- Me: Wow. What a night that was for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng.

Next day, Hua Cheng doesn’t remember and explains that it was a sign of Mount Tonglu opening.

- Me: Man, Hua Cheng, you missed out big time.

Ghost have escaped from imprisonment in Heaven. Xie Lian is tasked to work with Qi Ying.

- Me: Qi Ying? That one guy that threw a bed at Pei Ming?

Xie Lian goes back to Puqi Shrine all mope. Lang Ying is around, though. He tries to help Xie Lian, but during lunch(?) Xie Lian burnt the food. He is about to throw it away, but Lang Ying eats it instead.

- LANG YING! Ahhh, no! Please be alright soon. Please don’t get food poisoning.

Xie Lian is laying down in bed thinking of Hua Cheng.

- Me: Xie Lian missing Hua Cheng like a wife missing her husband on a business trip

Quan Yizhen is on the floor choking on Xie Lian’s cooking. He is revealed to be the one giving Xie Lian the gold bars

- Me: Xie Lian. What kind of ally did you make? QYZ seems like an instinctive guy.

Lang Ying speaking up and being bolder.

- Me: Did Hua Cheng do something to Lang Ying to make him grow more of a backbone?

Now that QYZ is here, Xie Lian debriefs him on the new mission. Find the Brocade Immortal Robe

Ch 128 author (MXTX) notes: No one can eat Xie Lian’s cooking besides Hua Cheng.

- Me: Wow. Way to give a spoiler. But okay, that makes sense.

-----

Ahh, the Mount Tonglu arc is coming soon. First there has to be the chaos that the opening of Mount Tonglu brought.

[suchakidder]

 Uh, I meant to work on the last chapter of This is the Forest Primeval, but instead I worked on 1500 k words of Martin wanting kids?

This was supposed to be the opening of a time travel fic where only Martin goes to the past and interacts with bb!Jon, and it still might be, but for now it’s on it’s own. Set post 181. Read here or below

Martin wants something. It’s not a problem.

    Not long ago, it would have been. Shame and self-doubt were never far from desire, though sometimes they would trail behind at just the right distance that Martin would want something—  a new job, a day off, a harmless crush on his unavailable boss—  and think maybe, just maybe, he could want something and it would be ok, but then that distance would close up. Did he really need that pint of ice cream? Was it really necessary to call the landlord over the mold in the kitchen? Couldn’t he just be happy that he had a flat at all? Why was he always so greedy for more?

    At first, those had been in his mother’s derisive tone, but he repeated them to himself so often that over time, they lost the shape of her accent and intonation. It took even more time for a new voice to form, or perhaps it had been there ever since his mother had gone away and it took Martin far too long to realize, but that the inner voice repeating those same words was his own. 

    As an adult, he didn’t expect that voice to ever change but almost as soon as Martin accepted Peter Lukas’s protection, it was his voice, always so unflappable and even, that Martin heard in his own head. The thought he’d give credence to anything Peter said was laughable, truly laughable. In fact, the first time post-Lonely that doubt had crept into Martin’s mind he’d had to laugh out loud with such a sudden ferocity it shocked Jon. It has been too hard to explain through the great, shuddering laughs that made way to sobs after some time, but Martin had been able to eventually assure Jon he was quite alright. He never thought he’d be thankful for anything Peter Lukas had done, but Martin will take the win as it was.

    So he wants something. It’s not a problem. 

    The problem is, Martin doesn’t know what he wants. 

    Ever since Upton House, there’s been this desire humming through him, ever-present in his nerves and his mind, but completely eluding his attempts to see or grasp it. No matter how hard he tries to unravel it, it stays firmly hidden, though it steers Martin’s actions. It has something to do with Jon, Martin can tell that much, and even after days of spending nothing but basking in each other’s company at the house, all he wants to do is spend every moment memorizing the lines on Jon’s face or watching him the muscles in his arm shift as he gestures wildly while talking about something he finds interesting and other such sappy nonsense.

    Currently, they are in a small cave in a wooded area outside of a small village. The forest looks positively wicked, like “Snow White being torn at by the trees” wicked, but Jon’s assured Martin, in his best “I’m the authority on spookiness” voice that it’s a safer choice  than the seemingly fine looking village past the tree line. The cave is more accurately a little den under an outcropping of rock, no deeper than a meter, the barest bit of shelter from the outside. 

    There’s a bundle of twigs, bark, and tinder Jon collected and he is lighting them with the flint Martin had only really packed on a lark. He’d known nothing of wilderness survival aside from what he’d seen in shows and movies, but he could hardly conceive of walking to London without the basics. He didn’t really think they’d be put to use, but there Jon is, scraping the flint along the steel. 

    Martin watches his hands, his thin, long fingers, the waxy scar tissue on his left hand, as he works. Jon isn’t very strong, but he’s nimble and capable and Martin is awash with emotion and attraction. He had never known capability was his type, but he hadn’t known much of the particularities of his attractions until Jon. He hadn’t known much about himself at all until Jon.

    “I want you to remember me.” Martin says. It’s not quite right, but it’s almost there. Martin feels like he’s finally tugging the right thread, like he might finally find the end if he keeps traveling along. 

    “I—  Of course, I will.” Jon sets down the flint next to the unlit fire bundle and moves over to where Martin is sitting. From the distant and harsh man Martin had first known Jon as, he never would have expected how tactile he is now. There’s a language all it’s own to his touches, and right now he folds both his hands over Martin’s and grips on to him, not tightly, but firmly.  “It was only the camera lens at— “

    “I know. It’s not that. It’s, it’s… I want you to remember me, but not just you. Or maybe you and maybe it’s remembered that isn’t right. I want…”

    Martin could just ask Jon to ask, it would be easier that way, but Martin knows he’s so close.  “When I used to think about dying, I was always… All my descendants, generation after generation, they were born and they toiled and they died, and they all did it so it could one day get to me, and when I thought about it, it just seemed like some big mistake or cosmic joke.”

    “And now?” Jon asks carefully.

    “I don’t… I want to be remembered for being here. Not here as in part of the apocalypse, but… I lived and loved. My personhood wasn’t a waste of space.”

    Jon doesn’t have to tell Martin that was never true; they both know that. It only took the apocalypse to become a person, but Martin’s not sorry for it.

    “I think, I think that’s why people have kids. I thought of my ancestors and thought it was biology or society, or I don’t know, that selfish need to pass on your progeny. But I think when you love someone, I mean, really truly love someone, you’ve found something so rare and so precious that you know you can make something bigger than yourselves together. You don’t just want to make something more than yourself or think you can, you Know you can.” 

Jon’s pulled his hands away to let Martin think but Martin snatches them back, needing more than words to try to portray this truth. He holds onto Jon as hard as he can. 

    “I want kids,” Martin says without any shame or doubt.

    “Martin,” There’s a long pause. “I don’t think I need to tell you that adoption agencies aren’t exactly operational right now.”

    Martin looks at Jon but he doesn’t need the Eye to tell him that Jon is doubtful, or to tell him why. It hurts, deep down where Martin keeps all the sorrow over just how lonely Jon’s life has been, how the little love he received in his life is highly disparate without how much he deserved. 

    “You would be a good dad Jon.”

    Jon just looks at him skeptically.

    “You would! You would read to them, every night, and you’d do the voices and then you’d explain the moral or the symbolism. You’d be involved in… in whatever they were into, theater or… bugs, or, god help us, sports. You would learn everything you could.”   

    “Well, I don’t think I’d have much of a choice about it,” Jon says with a tight lipped grimace.

    “But you’d want to. That’s--that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter whether you have an encyclopedia in your head, we both know you aren’t Knowing it all the time. You would consciously know everything you could.”

    Jon doesn’t quite agree, but he doesn’t protest and Martin lets him go, barely an arm’s reach away, to finish lighting the fire and they don’t talk about it the rest of the night. 

    Martin doesn’t let himself imagine the what-ifs and could-have-beens, not now in this world. There’s nothing to gain from that. But he lets himself now, imaging Jon awkwardly holding a baby, or sat with a school aged child at the kitchen table, their kitchen table, heads bent over homework. Jon would help them, calmly explaining whatever concept they were stuck on, patient no matter how many different approaches it has to take.

Martin wants it so badly he feels sick with it, all this desire and want and somewhere in it, the faintest sliver of hope. He wants something he can’t have and it’s not a problem, but it does have the making of a tragedy if Martin lets it. 

So he doesn’t.

When they lay down, Martin to try to force his body into a few hours of sleep and Jon to achieve whatever form of rest he can, Martin curls up behind Jon, his front pressed up tight against Jon’s, one leg slipped between his. Their entwined hands rest over Jon’s chest where there’s the barest flicker of a heartbeat, irregular, faint, but there. 

In the quiet stillness they’ve created of this fear destroyed world, Martin whispers it all to Jon, the dreams and what-ifs, everything he wants for them. Of everything Jonah Magnus has robbed them of, Martin refuses to let this be one.

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...

[gleefail]

Glee Memories: 1x10 Ballad

A long, long time ago, as Glee was approaching graduation in Season 3, I found myself nostalgic with some rare free time on my hands. So I decided to rewatch the series from the beginning and jot down some memories, discrepancies that have arisen since, fave quotes, tally solos - all that good stuff, strictly for shits and giggles.

8 years later (eek!) and once more I find myself with an unexpected abundance of free time. With so many revisiting or being newly introduced to the show between binge watching during Quarantine and all the tragedy that has surrounded the show since it went off the air, I figured I’d finish what I started. And by finish, I mean go through the end of S3. Cause I truly cannot acknowledge what happened after that. Except for 5B.

Kicking this off by reposting the first 15 episodes I already went through. Enjoy!

1x10 Ballad “Ok, who can tell me what a ballad is?” “It’s a male duck”

ok, I disagree with Schue’s definition of a ballad. “Stories set to music” – um…isn’t that every song? Or is it just in musicals that it’s supposed to be, lol?

“Looks like my weekly letter to the Ohio showchoir committee FINALLY paid off” and the look she gives Puck. Haha. This Rachel Berry is funny. Cause they’re letting us laugh at her right along with her. Not asking us to put her on a pedestal and/or take her seriously all the damn time. I’m not even gonna get started. I’m watching this post Props/Nationals, and though I didn’t think it could, my hate has grown. In abundance. Trying to keep it in check. Moving on…

“I bet that duck’s in the hat”

“Matt’s out sick today. He had to go to the hospital cause they found a spider in his ear” Um, ew. Also terrifying. However, humorous nonetheless. And an effort to explain a random absence of a Glee club member. Remember how they used to do that?

Aw, Artie drew Quinn’s name out of the hat. :) 2 seasons later and they’ll get 2 duets (both of which I loooove). Shame they didn’t do it this ep. Romantic or just friends, I ADORE the chemistry with Diana and Kevin. I really wanted to see more of that. :(

omg. Kurt’s face when Finn pulls his name. Adorable. Also, I love that Finn is not cool with it but a year later Sam is totes fine. Maybe that’s just cause I love dudes that are comfortable enough in their sexuality to do things that d-bags in high school might tease them about being gay for. Or maybe that’s just cause I love Sam Evans. Couldn’t tell ya. Except yeah, I totes could. It’s cause I wants a Trouty Mouth to call my very own. *lesigh*

“other asian” Ha!

Brittana!

“The fates talked, Mr. Schue” #BlessFinnsHeart

I love the voice-overs during Endless Love: “Screw him if he thinks he’s taking the Diana Ross part from me” “I love the days when I wear no underwear” “I never noticed how nice Rachel’s butt is…oh crap! I think Quinn knows I’m staring at it!”

I also love the facial expressions of Rachel and Mr. Schue here. Hilarious.

Haha – Brad’s like “wtf is happening?”

“Crap – she looks crazy right now!” hahahahahaha

Because of Rachel’s realization through this song, it means Lea Michele can’t squint nearly as much. Wow. It’s like a whole new Rachel with her eyes open while she’s singing.

Artie’s face after the duet. It’s like someone stepped in dog poop.

Ok, Charlotte Ross was in a show in the 90’s I used to watch that, if I recall, failed miserably but nonetheless had a brief stint as my guilty pleasure show. And I can’t remember what it is for the life of me and keep forgetting to look when I have access to google it. Anyone?

“I don’t want you to lift a finger for me. I’m your wife!” Oh wow. So unhealthy. So republican. Soooooo some parts of Ohio. These are the folks that voted for Bush. :/ Yep, I’m still ashamed to be from Ohio when I think of that election.

Suzy. Pepper. Yes. I love this actress. Bright and Hannah were my OTP on Everwood. I miss them.

“You knew it was me just by the sound of my breath. That’s so romantic.”

“Listen, you little psycho, this is Will’s wife, and if I don’t get enough sleep my anti-depressants won’t work, and then I’ll go crazy and I’ll kill you.” Oh Terri. So maternal and loving.

Suzy Pepper is sobbing to More Than Words. That was my jam back in the day!

“Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling…and….inappropriate.”

“Thank God I never missed a piano lesson” – really Kurt? Is this the first and only time we’re to believe Kurt can play piano well enough to accompany someone from memory?

Finn singing I’ll Stand By You to a sonogram dvd on his laptop. I have no words. I don’t think I thought it was this weird the first time I watched it.

So Finn’s mom busts him singing to said laptop sonogram dvd…and he doesn’t close the laptop…or stop the dvd…or try to hide the screen. He sits up next to it as she approaches him, almost begging her to see it. I felt the same way then as I do now – it was an opportunity for him to not tell her necessarily but for her to find out anyways and I think he really wanted her to know so he could go to her for help and comfort and to relieve everything he couldn’t deal with about the situation. I’m just sayin’.

Oh old school Carol with her denim and that hair…she’s still such a great mom though. And this actress. My God. She’s amazing.

“You’re wrong, I’m right. I’m smart, you’re dumb.”

“Dude. Impulse control!” haha

“I dunno why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he’s cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.” #BlessFinnsHeart

Oh Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me mash-up. I fell in lust with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you.

Seriously. Matthew Morrison is so hot in this mash-up. Yowzah.

“So, Rachel, do you think you understood the message I was trying to get across with that ballad?” “Yes! It means I’m very young and it’s hard for you to stand close to me.”

“You’re a very good performer. He’s very good.”

Finn and Kurt bonding over their lost parents. This is a sweet scene.

“You think I should bring a gun?” #BlessFinnsHeart

“Casserole’s almost ready. Hope you like venison!” Ok. TERRIFYING to come home and find Rachel Berry in an apron, cooking you dinner, in your home.

Hey, remember that time that Rachel literally sang 3 lines of Crush and they released it in its entirety as a single from this episode? Ridonk.

“I found out today that my hamster was pregnant in biology class and I just started weeping!”

Aw, Mercedes and Puck are paired up for duet ballads.

haha. Babygate.

“Finn’s not the father! I am.” People be spilling out their truths to Mercedes y’all.

“Alright, look, you need to get something through your Mohawk real quick: you’re the baby’s daddy. It takes a hell of a lot more to be a father and that role’s already been cast because Quinn chose Finn. You need to accept that and move on cause you have no business messin’ up that girl’s life more than you already have. You need to back off. You owe her at least that much. ”Aw, Mercedes. Laying down tough love. And looking out for Quinn before they were even friends. Man. I love Mercedes.

Oh that’s right – Quinn has an older sister! Why did we never meet her?

“He wears a helmet when he plays, right?” – THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYIN’! #BlessFinnsHeart

“I have to go, they’ll think I’m pooping.” Hehehehe.

omg. So I love this still. Finn is doing karate moves in the bathroom mirror to pump himself up to sing to the Fabrays that Quinn’s pregnant. That is so effing funny. What happened to this Finn?

You’re Having My Baby. Haha. This song is so cheesy. This scene is so uncomfortable.

So Quinn’s parents, unlike Finn, are NOT simple-minded and have figured it out. And it’s terrifying.

“We didn’t even have sex” #BlessFinnsHeart

Quinn’s parents are kicking her out. Well, her dad is and her mom isn’t standing up to him. This is rough. Especially when you realize they’re supposed to be 15. So wrong. Poor Quinn. And her dad just screamed at her that she was a disappointment. Yeah…she’s had to deal with some shit. And in the end, they don’t acknowledge that she did and try to make her out to be the bad guy, and selfish… Way to go, RIB.

Oh good ole Carol, without a moment of hesitationlets Quinn stay with them.

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want.” Carol’s the best. So glad she found Burt.

“We’re not so different, you and me. We’re both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we’re not worthy of being loved. Trust me. I’m a cautionary tale. You need to find some self-respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back.” Suzy Pepper, ladies and gentlemen. Dropping truth bombs.

“There’s some boy out there who’s gonna like you for everything you are, including those parts of you that even you don’t like. Those are gonna be the things about you that he likes the most.” Hmm…might be true. Never thought about this, but I’d say that describes Jesse. But not Finn so much. Maybe recently. But…he has made several comments about her being annoying or controlling as they were dating. And not in a ‘those are my favorite things about her’ kinda way. Just sayin’.

Aw. Kurt seems like he feels really bad about Quinn getting kicked out.

“Open your eyes! I didn’t tell you to close your eyes.” “Is there a cake?” No, there’s no cake!” #BlessFinnsHeart

Lean On Me. Watching this now, with one ep left and it’s graduation…yeah, I’m crying. Dammit, Glee.

haha, Mercedes just kinda pushed past Rachel who was front and center to sing her solo. Probably not intentional but still funny.

Damn, Kevin McHale.

Damn, Amber Riley.

SOLOS: Rachel (1), Will (2), Finn (2), Artie (1), Mercedes (1)

[jojo-at-his-computer]

Of course. I gotta say, this kinda makes me think of the song Pity Party, so I love it.

Josuke X Reader: Happy Birthday To You

It was a lovely morning in Morioh when you woke up, the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and bacon greeting you. You got up, washed your face, put on your favorite outfit, brushed your hair and went downstairs. Your dad was reading the newspaper while your Mom set your place at the table with your special breakfast.

"Happy birthday!" shouted Mom and Dad. You smiled. It was your 16th.

"Thank you guys!" you said sitting down to your meal, instantly drowning your pancakes in syrup and devouring them.

"Imagine that." said Dad in surprise "16! Almost a grown-up." He and Mom smiled proudly.

"Hurry up and eat, then we'll get the decorations put up." You beemed and you finished your breakfast, appetite invigorated.

As you went around the house putting up balloons and streamers in your favorite colors, your mind wandered. Your family had only moved to Morioh a few months ago. You ended up starting highschool in town as a first year, one of many new kids, and you ended up making a few new friends there. Your best friend was Josuke Higashikata, a classmate of yours. He was a pretty nice guy, though if someone were to make fun of his hair, he'd kick their ass. He had a unique pompadour haircut, and while you were a bit nervous to say so, you thought it was cute. You thought HE was cute. Okay just admit it, you were totally crushing on him, hard! You liked everything about him, his hair, his sapphire blue eyes, his smile, and on your first day of school, he saved you from a group of bullies that were trying to shove you into a locker. You've been wanting to confess your feelings to him, but you've been so nervous. You shook your head. Today's not the day to think about mushy stuff like that. Nope! Today's the day for celebration! It's your party and your day to shine!

After putting up the decorations, Mom told you to go ahead and relax in the living room for a few hours until the time that guests would arrive. You played some Mario for a bit, but after falling down and dying for the umpteenth time, you decided it'd be better to watch a few anime videotapes for the time being. But as you went to plug in the VCR, you heard Mom slam the phone in frustration.

"Just great!" shouted Mom. She shook her head and calmed her voice down to not upset you as much. "I'm sorry sweetie, but Grandpa is sick and can't make it, and I just got off the phone with your Aunt. She had an emergency meeting that's running late and had to cancel."

"Oh!" you said a bit surprised. "I'm sorry. That really sucks! I hope Grandpa gets better." You felt bad, but you also knew that your parents would try to get them together again and you all would get to do something special altogether, like a movie or dinner at a restaurant.

"I'll tell Grandpa you said that." said Mom. "It's about time for your friends to start arriving, why not wait in the sunroom to greet them." You glanced at the clock, about 5 til 4 pm, realizing she was right.

"Okay" you answered. You grabbed a copy of Shonen Jump to read as you awaited your friends arrival. 10 minutes, no one yet. That's okay, it's only 5 after 4. 30 minutes went by. Huh that's weird, but they must be running late. 45 minutes now. You start getting a little worried. An hour. You ended up finishing your Shonen Jump magazine. Out of fear and anger, you start pacing the floor in front of the door. Tears start to well up under your eyes. It's 5:15, more than an hour and no one shown up! Without giving it a 2nd thought, you cross to the phone in the kitchen. Mom asked you a question, but you ignored her, all you could think about was knowing why the hell you got stood up at your own party.

You dial Josuke's number at rapid fire speed, hearing the dial tone indicating the phone was ringing. You heard the gentle click as Josuke answered on the other end.

"Moshi moshi, this is Higashikata!" answered Josuke. You couldn't help but feel an odd sense of joy hearing his gentle voice, followed by anger and hurt that he wasn't at your party.

"Where were you!" you said suddenly shouting. Josuke was taken aback.

"(Name) is that you?" asked Josuke. "Where we supposed to hang out or something today? What's wrong?" All of the sudden you couldn't take it anymore and tears burst from you, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I can't believe you didn't show up for my party!" you shouted "Nobody shown up, the party has been going on since four, and nobody came! Not even Grandpa or my aunt could make it!" you were heaving in-between sobs, shaking before you realized you heard Josuke ask something. You calmed down a bit before you asked him to repeat what he just said.

"Today's your birthday?" he asked.

"Yes of course it's my birthday! I sent you the -" you cut off when it clicked in your brain. You realized what might have happened, why nobody had shown up.

"You didn't get an invitation, did you?" you asked Josuke.

"I don't think so!" answered Josuke, "I wouldn't forget your party if I did."

"Oh my God!" you said feeling weak. "Of course! Something must have happened with the invitations! I'm so sorry. I should have known you'd make it. Well now the party is ruined and it's all my fault."

"Not yet!" answered Josuke. "Don't cancel the party yet. Give me about an hour, I promise."

"Okay." you answered, taking a deep breath. "I believe you, just get here as soon as you can." You hear the dial tone that the line is now dead. You breathed a sigh as you sat on the floor waiting. It was now 5:25. You waited some more. It was 5:55. You called Josuke's house again, but his mom picked up. However she did confirm that Josuke left awhile ago. You said thank you and hung up. At this point Mom looked in the front room where you were waiting.

"I'm sorry honey." she said hugging you. "It's been a couple hours, why don't you join us and we'll cut the cake."

"No mom, I know Josuke for sure is coming." You explained how you found out there was an apparent mailing mishap that prevented the invitations from reaching your friends. Mom shrugged.

"Okay." she said. "But if he doesn't show up before 7, we're cutting the cake without him."

"Deal" you said. You looked at the clock, it was now 6:15, nearly an hour since you spoke to him. Where could he be? Of course! He must be going to get me a present, you reasoned. No sooner you finished your thought, there's a knock at the door.

"Hello", you say as you answered the door. You opened it to find not only Josuke had arrived like he said he would, but he brought some friends with him too. There was Okuyasu and Koichi, two of your friends from school, and two people you didn't recognize, an old man with a white beard and glasses, and a man in his late 20's wearing a white hat that had "JO" on it. Everyone's arms were loaded with giftbags.

"Oh my gosh!" you gushed, "You guys made it! Josuke thank you for bringing everyone here." you said giving him a hug. "C'mon in guys." you motioned for everyone to come inside.

"Sorry we're late," said Josuke, "I called Koichi and Okuyasu, along with my, er, relatives, this is Joseph Joestar and Jotaro Kujo by the way." he said motioning to the old man and the man in white respectively. You remembered Josuke saying he had family members in town recently.

"Hello there," said Mr. Joestar.

"Hello," said Jotaro with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you. Thank you both for coming." you replied.

"We realized that we didn't have any presents." said Koichi.

"And we weren't sure what to get you." admitted Okuyasu.

"Yeah," said Josuke a bit embarrassed. "We kinda panicked and went to different stores. Sorry we didn't have time to wrap anything."

"That's okay!" you laughed. "You didn't have to get me all these presents. I'm happy to have you guys present! (God that's such a terrible pun lol) I'm so glad everyone's here." You led everyone to the kitchen, having the guests put their gifts on one of the tables. There was a whole table with pizzas and potato chips and soda pops, you told the guests to help themselves. You made conversation with your friends and Josuke's relatives as you enjoyed your pizza. Jotaro talked about his marine biology work he's been doing in town. Later you opened presents from your friends. After that, your parents brought out the cake, frosted with pastel buttercream and had 16 candles all aglow. Everyone sang Happy Birthday as you blew the candles, making your wish.

Shortly after the cake and ice cream, the guests started to leave. You said goodbye and thanked everyone for coming. Josuke decided to hang around a little bit before going home. The sun had set and it was nighttime. You and Josuke decided to sit in the backyard and look at the stars.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you earlier," you said a bit embarrassed.

"Hey, don't worry about it." said Josuke. "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. I probably should have called earlier, but I forgot, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." You nodded understandably. You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but a lot of weird stuff was happening lately in town.

"Anyways," said Josuke, pulling out something from his jacket pocket, "I kinda lied. I had something special I've been wanting to give you. I got this awhile ago." It was a small rectangle shaped box. You opened it and inside was a gold medallion necklace with two gold charms, a heart and a peace sign, just like the gold pins he wears on his uniform.

"Oh my, this is beautiful!" you exclaimed. "I love it. Thank you!"

"I'm glad you love it!" said Josuke blushing a little. You sighed. Guess the time is now to tell him.

"So, I've been wanting to tell you for awhile. I've had a crush on you since I started school here. I think you're cute, I love your hair, and I ended up making friends here thanks to you, and I want to be more than friends, but I was so nervous to tell you because I'm afraid you wouldn't like me that way and then things would be awkward and - "

You were interrupted when Josuke suddenly gave you a quick kiss. Both of you blushed a bright red.

"I'm sorry." said Josuke blushing a bit. "I've been wanting to tell you too. That's why I got you the medallion."

"Thank you so much." you say happily. "Now that we're together, you want to see a movie or something this weekend?"

"That sounds great!" says Josuke. You put on the madallion necklace, smiling at Josuke.

"You look beautiful!" said Josuke smiling. You happened to look at your watch, it was about a quarter to 10.

"Oh crap! It's late! You got to get home!" you said in surprise.

"Oh God you're right!" said Josuke looking at the time. "Meet you at the movies this weekend?"

"Of course." you answered. You gave him a kiss goodbye and walked him to the front door. You waved goodbye as he left, then went to help Mom clean up and put away the party decorations. While it had a rocky start, it turned out to be an amazing party. You thought about the wish you made when you blew out the candles, it had come true. You wished to kiss Josuke.

[fatandnerdy30]

The Itsy Bitsy Spider Chapter 2

Tony slammed through the opening, stopping short, and let his hands fall, but then barely heard the cry from his hand. "Oh shit, sorry kid. You okay?" He lifted his hand again and saw the little person nod, then heave. "Hey, no throwing up on my suit. You may be small, but it's still gross. We all here?" He looked at Steve and Natasha, saw them nod. "Okay, good. Initiating self destruct."

"Wait!" Peter yelled, looking up at the man in shock. "You can't! Sean's still in there!" "Who the hell is Sean?" Mr. Stark snapped, eyes boring right into Peter, who shivered. "He's a scientist...He was being held here against his will!" He looked to Ms. Romanoff, eyes pleading. "Please tell me if you saw him! He's got Red hair, and spoke with a Scottish accent!" Natasha was taken aback, but she shook her head. "There was no one in the labs that looked like that." Peter's relief was almost tangible, but then he tensed. Then that meant Sean was probably taken somewhere. He was the boy's only hope of ever getting back to normal. "No.." he sobbed. "Well, this has all been interesting, but I don't want anyone getting their hands on whatever's in this lab, so, once again, initiating self destruct in three.....two....one...And now we run." Peter held on as the wind-actual wind- rushed past him, the sun hitting his skin. The boy tried to breathe it in, but it was over in an instant before he was inside of a larger than life pane, the wind being cut off by the hangar closing, a large explosion shaking the jet. Mr. Stark walked over to a chair and threw himself on it, making the teen on his palm cry out as he slipped, managing to get his hands to stick to the man's chest. Again he felt eyes on him as he tried to get his breath, hands laying flat on the cold metal. "That was close," he breathed. "How the hell..." Mr. Stark's voice came from above Peter, who looked up to see the man staring at him with an odd look. The boy blushed, then brought his feet up, feeling them stick and he stood, waving his arms at the odd angle. "Okay, anyone else freaked out by this?" Tony asked, his hand waving to the circus act on his chest. "Very," Natasha agreed, watching the small thing begin walking down Tony's body to the arm rest. "That's better," Peter sighed. He stiffened and looked up to see three pairs of eyes staring at him. "Oh...um..." he scratched the back of his neck bashfully, feeling his face heat up. "I guess that was kind of freaky, huh?" They were all silent for a minute. "Uh, ya think?" Tony asked, tapping the reactor attached to his chest for his suit to crawl back into. "You basically defied the laws of every physics book in history. Explain." Peter started to open his mouth, but stopped when a man came into view. "Hey guys, how was the rest...what's the matter?" Bruce was very confused as to what everyone was looking at, until he followed their gazes to see a very small person standing on Tony's armrest. "Is that Scott?" he asked, coming closer to look, but stopped when he heard the tiny person scream, seeing them back up. "Apparently not. Who is it then?" "Tony found him in the labs along with the dead bodies of all the experiments being kept there," Steve said, not taking his eyes off the tiny thing. "There were at least eight of them killed, not including...him," he waved at the boy. "Oh man....I'm so sorry you had to see that, little buddy." The doctor took a seat next to Tony. "My name's Doctor Banner, but you can call me Bruce." Peter's shaking lessened once he heard the giant's name. This was Doctor Banner? There was no way. "The Hulk?" he asked suddenly, and his hands clapped over his mouth. "I-I'm sorry, Mr. Banner, I-I mean Doctor Hulk, wait.." His face flushed when he heard the large man chuckle and Tony snorted behind his hand. "Don't worry about it. That is the world's reaction too, then the running and the screaming," the man joked. The boy stood, and he could feel his heart about to explode out of happiness because, here in this very plane, were his childhood heroes in the flesh. He wished he'd had a pen...but then again, it would probably be bigger than him. "I-I've read all of your papers from Gamma Ray technology, to micro-plant biology! I'm a huge fan!" Bruce blushed and chuckled. "Well, thanks little one. I really thought there were no more people who'd actually read my papers." Peter was about to answer, when Mr. Stark crossed his legs, elbow crashing next to the boy, making him yelp at the closeness. "So kid, what are you? I mean, you look human, but, you know." He held up his and brought his palm close to the boy's head, fingers spread out. Peter had to shake himself from the vibrations of the man's arm and took a step back, tripping over a button. "Oof..ouch.." he rubbed his bottom. "I'm just a kid," he said, folding his legs, holding them close to his chest, laying his cheek on them. "I'm human, I mean." "There's no way," Steve began, his brows furrowed. "How old are you?" Peter looked up Mr. Rogers, flinching back from the look in the man's eyes. "F-fiteen," the boy stuttered. "I swear! I'm in high school!" "What's your name?" Tony finally asked, trying to get the kid away from tears. "P-Peter Parker." "Friday, run a scan on the name Peter Parker." "Yes, boss," the AI said. Peter was starting to get cold, his heart not beating fast enough to maintain his body temperature at this height and he hugged his legs closer, wanting to get closer to the man's arm, but hesitant at the moment. He caught the man staring at him, and looked away, trying to move to hide his face, exposing his arms. "What happened here?" Tony poked the boy's arm lightly, but that was enough to nearly push him back, his hands flying out, catching him and showing the man a lot more bruises. "That's from the IV's the scientists gave me," Peter turned his arms to look at the bruises, some of which were healing from the shots they gave him yesterday. "They didn't care if they hurt me they actually did it on purpose, to test my healing. I never really knew what was in the needles, but I heard snippets of something about 'spider DNA' or something, which gave me advanced healing, or at least that's what Sean said, Mr. Stark." Natasha snorted at the name Peter used for Tony, mouthing 'Mr. Stark' and making a face, to which said man flipped her off. "Bruce, think you can get a sample of his blood without killing him?" "Yeah, I'll just need one of your worker bots to help. And not Dum-E, that thing can start a fire just by standing in the same room as a match." "Match found," Friday informed the plane as they flew through the skies. "Displaying information." The plane dimmed and the holographic picture of the small teen was displayed, along with the missing persons file from... "Six months?" Tony's eyes widened as he looked down at the boy. "You were in that lab for only six months, and they were able to do all this to you?" Had it been that long? Peter didn't know, but it seemed like a good amount of time. "I-I guess," he said, looking down as Mr. Stark continued to look into his file. "Midtown School of Sciences and Technology, not bad, kid. Looks like you weren't lying. Oh, what's this?" Tony pointed to a picture of a very attractive middle aged woman. "May Parker. She your mom?" Peter shook his head, staring at the face of the woman he hadn't seen for so long. "N-no," he sniffled. "That's my Aunt May. She and my Uncle Ben took me in when my parent's died." Tony frowned. "She's married. Pity." That comment earned him a glare from Natasha. "And so are you, with a child. Watch it." "Yeah yeah, semantics. But, we'll bring you home, give you to your aunt and uncle, end of story." Tony sat back and closed his eyes. "Tone, I don't think that's a good idea," Bruce said. "I mean, look at him. What if the shock of seeing what he's become is too much on them? How would you feel if Morgan suddenly went missing, then she comes back the size of one of her dolls?" "First, do not bring Morgan into this, and second that would never happen because she has Iron Man as her father, and I would never allow that to happen." "But not everyone has a super hero for a father," the doctor argued. The billionaire stared at the doctor for a second then sighed disgustedly. "Fine, he can stay with us. But, once we find a cure or whatever, he's gone," he pointed at the boy beaming up at him. "You're healed, you're gone, got it?" Peter nodded. He couldn't believe it, he got to stay at the Avengers facility? This was going to be so awesome! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The jet landed softly on the landing pad. Bruce was the first to get up and stretch, his hands going miles into the air with a loud groan. "I need to hit the head," Natasha groaned as she walked off the plane, Tony rolling his eyes behind her. "Nice language!" he yelled, chuckling when she made a rude hand gesture. He glanced down at the kid sleeping on his arm rest. The man was at a loss. Yes, he knew how to hold a child, but not a child the size of a mouse. He sighed and poked the kid. "Hey, wakey time." Peter groaned and rolled over, shivering a bit. "Go 'way," he mumbled, swatting at the person trying to wake him. "I'm not ready for school." Stark chuckled. "I don't think you'll be ready for school for a while, Thumbelina. Come on." Being as careful as he could, Tony slid the boy into his palm held below the arm rest. When the teen fell, he gasped and Tony felt the sensation of his hands sticking to his fingers on bare flesh. It felt...weird. "Let go," he told the kid, shaking his finger. "S-sorry...I got nervous." Peter slowly relaxed his body and let go, falling into the man's waiting hand, a feeling of safeness radiating from his savior. "Where are we?" He felt the vibration of each of Mr. Stark's footsteps as he walked off the plane and into the sun, which made the teen smile. "We're home," Stark said thankfully. Suddenly a blonde head caught his attention and he smiled. "Hi honey, I'm home." "I see. How was your trip?" the woman leaned in, kissing her husband. "Exciting?" They started walking into the building together, Pepper not paying attention to anything but her husband's face. "Oh yeah, I even brought you something. Hold out your hand, but don't drop it!" He turned and waited for Pepper to give him her hand and dropped the boy into her waiting palm, hearing his cry as he fell. "Take him," he pointed to Peter, "to Bruce while I go say hello to my Morguna. Love you," he kissed the shocked woman's cheek and walked away. "Um..Tony, I don't...Tony!" Pepper could only stare at the tiny boy in her hand as he sat up, every move ticking her palm. "Um, hi," she said. Peter looked up after he'd gotten to his knees and let out a shocked gasp. "You're Ms. Potts! I mean, Mrs. Stark?" He didn't know anymore, he was still tired and his stomach hurt from hunger. "Um, it's Stark," she said. "I guess I have to bring you to Bruce's lab," she started walking, trying to make her footsteps as even as possible, but she didn't miss the look on the tiny boy's face. "What's wrong?" Peter shook his head, his hands sticking to the woman's hand, his eyes full of fear. "N-no more labs!" he stuttered, his voice shaking. "Please...don't let them touch me again!" He looked back at the woman who'd stopped walking, fear clearly written on his face. "I don't wanna go back into a lab, please." Tears began tracking down his face. Pepper was speechless, but then her mothering instinct took over and she brought the scared boy to her chest, giving him the best version of a hug she could, shushing the boy quietly. "It's okay," she soothed. "Bruce isn't a bad guy, I promise. And, if you don't want to be in his lab, we can tell him, okay? It's okay, stop crying, it's okay." She rocked back and forth, acting like she would whenever Morgan cried. Peter could smell Mrs. Stark's perfume, but also he could feel her heartbeat under him, and that, along with her voice sounding all around him, he could feel himself calming down. It felt just like when his Aunt would hold him and he had to smile at the memory, gripping the white silk shirt tightly. Finally his sobs became small hiccups and the woman pulled her hands away, the boy falling back into her cupped hands which folded around him, making him feel safe, protected. "Do you feel better?" she whispered, feeling better when the boy nodded. "Good. Come on, let's go get you something to drink first." She started walking again, occasionally glancing down at the passenger in her hands.

@letsbeinspiredby @sparrowrider @carttorchdeatth​ @6inchicon

[kenzieam]

I Never Stopped - Prologue

Rating: M (smut, language, angst and sorrow)

Genre: Drama/Angst

@captstefanbrandt @iammarylastar @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @notimetoblog @captain-ariel-barnes @lancefvcker @bitsandbobsandstuff @softlybarnes @lovelybbarnes @buckitybarnes @bucky-plums-barnes  @moonbeambucky @badassbaker @citylights221 @empress-of-boujee  @shynara51 @diinofayce @casestudy-mw  @jewels2876 @damnaged-princess @everythingisoverrated @allmyfanficfaves @clarabella960  @angryschnauzer @wowspideyholland @sergeantwhitewolf @smilexcaptainx @chook007 @laketaj24 @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @brujademente @shirukitsune @lostinspace33 

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Thank you, my lovelies, for your kind words and support XOXO

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Here’s my newest idea.... not sure how or if it’s going to pan out...

Let me know what you think and if you want more.

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For the longest time, she can only sit and stare, the box open on the floor in front of her.  

When the nurse had handed over her mother’s personal effects, she hadn’t recognized the key. Strung on a thin chain, she could not remember having ever seen it around her mother’s neck and her mother had never mentioned it.  

The key she’d never seen before opened a safe she’d never seen before in the back of her mother’s closet.  

Her mother was dead, her father gone years before, and so there was no one to explain what the key revealed.

Stacks of newspapers, piles of posters.  

MISSING

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?

REWARD OFFERED

Why did the pictures on the posters, the pictures of a missing three-year old girl, look so much like her?

Levka Raine Rogers.

Who was the girl?

Who was she?

It’s too painful to contemplate, too awful to consider, too insane.

By the time she looks back up from the box again, hours have passed and it’s dark outside, dark inside the quiet house.  

“Who am I?” She asks the indifferent shadows.

*******************************************************************************************

“I’m Levka.” She murmurs, sitting back from the computer. “I’m the missing girl.”

Eighteen years ago, Levka disappeared from her front yard, when her mother and older brother turned their backs for mere moments.  

No trace had been found, no leads panned out. No reported sightings were confirmed.  

Levka Rogers had vanished without a trace.  

Until now.

“I’m Levka.” She repeats.

*******************************************************************************************

For a month, she does nothing further. She needs time to process this life-changing news.  

In a way, in some deep, dark, subconscious corner of her mind, she’d had an inkling that something was wrong. But the alternative had been too preposterous to entertain, especially to a sixteen-year-old girl, caught in the natural currents of teenage life, struggling to find her own identity, wanting to belong, and she’d pushed aside her doubts and questions.  

Her blood type, AB.

Her parents, O.  

High school biology, Mr. Turner’s class.  

She must have misunderstood the lesson, tested her blood wrong. Her parents didn’t know their own type or gave her the wrong answer.  

And so she pushed it away; a mystery of life, something too confusing and scary to examine in the light of day.

But it had always been there, whispering in the background, choosing quiet moments like the deepest of sleeps, when her guard was lowest.

AB

O

Once she’d gone through her mother’s possessions, disposed of and donated most of it and stepped out of the shadow of fresh grief she took a deep breath and faced what was breathing heavy down her neck.  

*******************************************************************************************

The phone number on the missing poster was still active, but it took five tries before she make herself not hang up before someone answered.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end was male, polite but distant. He didn’t recognize her number and wasn’t wasting energy on being friendly.

“Uh...” her voice failed her and she almost hung up again.

“Hello? Can I help you?”  

Her heart began to hammer, thunder right out of her chest. Everything was about to break wide open.

“Levka-” she began.

“Levka?! My sister? Do you know where she is?” There was a frantic edge in his voice now, in her brother’s voice, and her heart stuttered in response; the words she’d practiced so many times falling flat, refusing to uncurl from her tongue.

“I, uh-”

“Where is she? Is she okay?!” A crack in his voice now, a shuddered exhale. “Please tell me.”

“Me.” She gasps, leaning forwards to rest her elbows on her table.  

“Sorry? What did you say?” The desperation in his voice cuts her deep.

“That’s me.” She breathes. “I’m Levka.” The phone falls from her boneless fingers and she drops her head to the table, sudden sobs breaking through.

A tinny shouting cuts through her tears, the man on the other end, her brother, yelling, screaming, trying to get her attention again. When she presses the phone back to her ear, she hears answering sobs; harsh, breathless gasps of pure unleashed anguish.

“Levi?” He begs. “Is it really you?”

*******************************************************************************************

The plane is disembarking, the crowd pushing her forwards despite her reluctance.  

Three weeks ago, she dialed the number.  

Three weeks ago, she spoke to her brother for the first time in eighteen years.

Today, she would meet him again.  

They’d spoken every night, for hours; relearning each other. Catching up on the last two decades.  

Both of them, at her insistence, provided DNA samples for testing, and the results had been clear.

She was Levka Raine Rogers.  

There would be no criminal trials, minimal media coverage. Both her parents, the abductors and biological, were dead; there was no one left to punish, no one left to reunite with.  

Only her brother. And a man she’d not yet met, her brother’s best friend; a man who’d been there as a child when she’d been lost, who’d helped her brother look for years, was left. They were business partners now, living in their childhood homes across the street from one another.  

Steven Grant Rogers, her brother.

James Buchanan Barnes, his friend.

She was meeting both of them today.

[hairringtonsteve]

biology notes (1).

Welcome to the Four Horsemen collab fic! Each of us will be writing and posting parts of this story, but you never know who is going to post the next part, so keep your eyes peeled on all of our blogs!

Dot: @stevesdacre

Emma: @hairringtonsteve

Lidi: @letmeletmetrashyourlove

Rachael: @dacrethehalls

PART ONE (this one!)

PART TWO (tba)

PART THREE (tba)

PART FOUR (tba)

billy hargrove x reader & steve harrington x reader 

fic summary: the reader is the new girl at hawkins, and let’s just say that she ends up catching the eye of a few boys in school. 

word count: 1, 773

a/n: so, surprise! this is going to be an interesting fic, because we’ve all agreed that no one actually knows what’s going to happen. the only person that’s read this is @stevesdacre because she edited it. lidi and rachael have no idea what’s going to happen, and only the person writing it controls what happens next. so i’ve got no idea what’s going to happen from here on out! be sure to follow everyone else because it’s a surprise as to who’s going to post next - and honestly i’m the worst at remembering this stuff. rachael and lidi have harassed me like 20 times bc i keep asking questions.

“There’s nothing to worry about. Everything’s going to be the exact same.”

Mom kept saying that over and over again as we packed up the car and drove from Antioch, California to our new home in Hawkins. It had been three days of reassurances that everything would be fine, that Christmas would be the same, and that nothing would change. Which was fine and dandy, except for the fact that I was stuck with explaining to Matty that yes, Santa would find us despite us moving so close to Christmas, and no, he wouldn’t get coal for whispering fuck as we pulled away from the only home we’d ever known.

I was also stuck with the honor of getting Matty ready for school, which meant waking up a half hour early and rooting through the closet for something that would suffice for the freezing temperatures of Hawkins.

I ended up having to feed the kid breakfast too, which had been an issue all on its own. The worst, though, was getting this kid ready for the bus.

“Do you think Dad will be here soon?” Matty asked me, looking up at me with his big, brown eyes. I held out his coat and motioned for him to shove his arms through. Neither of our coats were very thick, but they did the trick for the most part.

“Mom said he just needed to finish up at work, remember?” My stomach twisted at the sidestepping, but Matty didn’t know about the heated, whispered conversations at two in the morning, or how Dad hadn’t actually slept in the house for two weeks. “Everything’s going to the same, trust me.”

I was going to throw up.

“You’re sure that Santa will find us, right? Did you send him the new address?” 

“Of course I did. I’m not stupid. One of the elves called last night and said we didn’t even have to do that. They keep tabs on all the first graders.”

“That makes sense,” he said with a shrug. I bit back my grin as I nodded towards the front door.

“Let’s go, little man. We’ve got school.” The rumble of the school bus could be heard as it approached, coughing and gurgling as the driver eased on the brakes. Matty practically launched himself away from me, backpack hanging off of one shoulder as he jumped down the steps. “Have a good day!” I yelled, laughing as he waved haphazardly over his shoulder. The little shit didn’t even look at me.

“Matty get off to school?” Mom’s voice was rough. It was hard to tell if was due to lack of sleep, or the soft sobs I’d heard early into the morning. Odds are, it was both.

“Yeah, he did.” I slid my jacket on, reaching down for my backpack, careful not to look at her. I could handle a lot of things on my first day of school, but I couldn’t handle Mom breaking. Not then. “I’ll see you after school, okay? 

“Okay,” she said. Her voice was softer that time. I gave in, and my chest squeezed. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hands shaking a little as she stood there in her robe. I felt frozen, like I was facing down my future in that entryway.

“I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, baby.” She wasn’t looking me in the eye, instead focusing on the fascinating vomit-colored shag carpeting. For a brief moment of insanity, I wondered if it was some weird omen.

It was awkward, the two of us just standing there. Neither one of us moved, but after a handful of seconds, I gave her a half wave and bolted out the door. The wind has a sharp chill to it, and I tugged my jacket closer to my body. It wasn’t a long walk to the high school, but snot was practically dripping out of my nose the entire way there, which made it feel like hours.

It shouldn’t have been surprising that the rest of the morning continued to suck. But small town school were supposed to be filled with nice people, right? Hawkins had apparently missed that memo. Every teacher seemed to be scowling, and the students were clustered together, occasionally offering me curious looks.

By the time biology rolled around, I felt like I was ten seconds away from crying. Lunch had been horrendous. I’d somehow managed to forget my money, and the guy with the nice hair behind me had ended up paying for it. Probably because I’d started stuttering and was holding up the line. 

Biology felt like my breaking point, though. I stepped into the classroom, and twenty-four pairs of eyes turned to focus on me.

“Class, this is Y/N. She’s from - where is it?”

“California. Antioch,” I clarified, ignoring how my voice shook. The last thing I wanted was for a bunch of hormonal teenagers to gawk as I burst into tears. The teacher - her name was Mrs. Dowd, or something - was staring at me, like she expected me to elaborate. Two painstakingly long moments passed before she sighed.

“Take a seat, then. Next to…  Mr. Hargrove.” She nodded her head towards a boy in the back, clad in an unbuttoned red shirt and a rather unsightly mullet. “Mr. Hargrove,” she snapped, his head snapping up from whatever he’d been engrossed with. His gaze flickered over me, slow and confident, taking his time. Something in my chest twisted, but it wasn’t like earlier. It wasn’t that sick-to-my-stomach, going to vomit feeling. This was different, an improvement.

It felt like walking down death row, in a way. The students still stared, but now girls were whispering as I stepped passed them. Mullet-Boy was still watching me. I gripped my notebook and pencil a little tighter in my arms as I made my way to the back of the room. Sliding onto the stool, I set my stuff down and leaned my elbows against the top.

“You’re from California?” Mullet-Boy asked, his voice quiet as Mrs. Dowd started to drone about mitochondria. Antioch High had covered that in the beginning of the school year.

“That’s what I said.” He chuckled, a low sound that sent shivers down my spine.

“Me too.” I glanced over to him, cocking a brow. “San Diego,” he continued, pointing to himself 

“Cool for you.” It wasn't that I hated being talk to during class, but Mrs. Dowd kept glancing our way, a disapproving frown gracing her features.

“I'm Billy,” he said, leaning a little towards me. He had an elbow on the table, almost touching the crappy microscope that looked to be about a hundred years old. He didn't seem to get the message. His eyes were nice, though, and his little smirk wasn't the worst thing to look at.

“Y/N,” I responded, giving in. His smirk widened 

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he drawled. I let out a soft hum in response, averting my eyes to the chalkboard. It didn't help, though. I could feel his gaze burning into me, begging me to look at him.

I managed to keep my eyes off of him for a whole three minutes. I would have managed longer, but the second Mrs. Dowd turned her back to the class, he was leaning too far into my personal space.

“Can you back off, man? Jesus.” i turned my head to him, noting the wide grin playing on his mouth. He was a little closer than I'd realized, but not so much that it startled me.

“I was just going to ask if you wanted to borrow my notes.” I glanced down to his notebook, and to my surprise, there were actual notes scribbled down. There weren't a lot, but there was something.

“Oh, um, thanks. I've got my notes from my old school's bio, though. And I'm pretty sure that my notes are more… comprehensive.”

“You think I could borrow your notes sometime?” There was something in his voice and how his lips curled that told me he didn't give a rat’s ass about biology notes.

“I'm sure that…” I trailed off, glancing throughout the room. Girls diverted their gazes, every single one looking away - all except for one. She held my gaze, a hint of a scowl on her face. “She'd love to let you borrow her notes,” I finished, nodding my head in her direction. Billy rolled his eyes. 

“Carol? Her notes are shit. I'd learn more about biology reading a math book than I would looking at her notes,” he said. His words made me chuckle. His eyes widened a little, his smirk leaning towards more of a grin. “You know, I think you-”

“Mr. Hargrove, are you planning on talking to Miss. Y/L/N for the entire duration of the class?” 

“Just letting her see my notes, ma'am. I'm trying to make her feel welcome to Hawkins.” There wasn't anything suggestive about his tone, but my stomach flipped anyways. Without meaning to, I stole a quick glance towards him. My eyes started at the top and worked their way down, stopping at the sight of his unbuttoned shirt, and what laid beneath it. My cheeks burned a bright red. I set my jaw and turned to face the chalkboard.

For the rest of the class, Billy kept quiet. I'd notice anytime he turned his head in my direction, but I wouldn't let him win.

The end of class came faster than I'd expected, and suddenly everyone was packing up their things. I slid off of the stool, letting myself glance over to Billy. He was chatting with some dark haired guy, bits and pieces of their conversation drifting over.

Apparently, they played basketball.

I slipped out of the classroom before he had a chance to say anything to me. He seemed like a flirt, but nice enough. Weirdly enough, he'd made me feel a little more at home. That cocky, annoying California asshole shtick was more comforting than anything Mom had said over the last couple of days. 

I must have been too caught up in my thoughts because the next thing I knew, my shoulder was colliding into someone else’s, and papers went flying everywhere.

“Oh God, I am so sorry!” I burst out, kneeling down to pick up the scattered notes.

“Oh, it's fine. No worries,” the voice said. I looked up, eyes widening when I realized just who it was. The hair gave it away. 

“I, uh, should have been watching where I was going.”

“Like I said, no worries.” He grinned at me. “So how was your lunch?”

taglist: @alwaysmebeforeyou @istanuriss @smittyjaws @myblackwings5 @morgandakotaq @rivedale @laterg8r @buckybass @airforcecollins @superanonymousreader @ambeazyyy @harringtonhuddle @nicospaten @selenedarkbloom @samuel-maurice455 @lilo-1398 @thevortexclubposse @laurennicole1313 @inspiredbynewt

striked out names are the ones that tumblr wouldn’t let me tag!!

[shynerdycactus]

Sweet, Day 1

For the first day of KuroFai week I ended up doing a modern au thing, and it ended up being WAAAAAAAAAAAY longer than I had originally anticipated 😅. Oh well!Also, Fai’s and Yuui’s names are the same way they are in Horitsuba (Fai:the original Fai we meet in the series and Yuui: his brother), I figured it would confuse less people that way.

Fai woke up to chirping sounds of birds outside the window, delightfully awakening him from his deep slumber. As he slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes, the sun rays shining through the window temporarily blinded him and he shoved his head back into the pillow, laughing.

It was nice not to always have morning classes, Fai thought, so you can appreciate special moments like these.

It had been almost a year since Kurogane and him had started rooming together. It had been difficult at first, both of them being away from home for the first time. Fai had it a little easier, with his brother Yuui (a prodigy) being the professor of a cooking class, so he could only imagine how Kuro-pon (he started jokingly calling him nicknames a couple of months ago, to tremendous effect XP) must have felt.

Finally pushing himself out of bed, Fai walked into the main living area and noticed with faint surprise that Kuro had already left. He could tell from the assorted dishes near the sink and the seemingly unrelated food products scattered across the kitchen counter that Kuro must have put together SOMETHING to eat before leaving, so at least that was a relief.

And without burning the building down too! Fai joked to himself as he assumed his familiar spot in the kitchen and began to clean up.

I wonder where he could have gone, Fai thought, I was sure his classes didn’t start till later. It doesn’t matter, though. Kurogane’s a grown man. He doesn’t need my permission to leave. Or to make a mess of the kitchen, apparently!

As Fai continued his morning routine (most of which was hair-brushing, it takes a long time when you have thick hair!) he couldn’t help but think of Kurogane. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence at all, Fai begrudgingly admitted he thought about Kuro a little too often to be normal. Although most days he tried to ignore this fact, today it seemed something was different, something was causing him to notice the empty space in the dorm.

It could be the silence. Besides the chirping of birds and the quiet rustling of leaves from outside, there seemed not to be a sound in the entire place. On a normal day, little noises, little signs of life would fill the rooms. The TV playing softly from across the wall in the mornings, on the lowest volume possible so as not to wake Fai. The scratching of a pencil on the kitchen table, a soft but soothing sound barely registered as he sat, deeply enamoured by a good book and a cup of tea.

Fai stood, one pair of blue eyes meeting the other in the mirror, and only the low, mechanical hum of the fridge to comfort him.

As much as Fai tried to forget the thoughts he had that morning, he couldn’t help but be bothered by them throughout the day. By the time he got out of his Biology lecture, he was so distracted by his own thoughts that he tripped on a curb and nearly faceplanted on the pavement. It barely even fazed him, though; he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight enough to focus. After a while of walking aimlessly, Fai knew he needed to talk to someone, the one other stabilizing force he had. He needed to talk to Yuui.

Due to his distracted thoughts, it took him longer than usual to reach his brother’s culinary building, and once he did he was surprised to see Yuui standing outside the doors, deep in a phone conversation. The instant Yuui looked up and spotted Fai, the worried look on his face dropped immediately to relief. He spoke frantically into the phone for a few more seconds before hanging up and running over to Fai, embracing him in a warm hug.

“Thank goodness,” Yuui sighed letting go of a very surprised Fai, then he stepped back and stared at him, expression hardening. “Where were you? What were you doing?”

“U-um, I was just taking a walk,” Fai defended himself, still unsure of the situation.

“Are you kidding me?” Yuui retorted, making Fai flinch, “Kurogane phoned me and said you weren’t home an hour after you’re normally back from your lecture. He tried phoning you, but you wouldn’t pick up his calls. We were both really worried!”

Baffled, Fai reached into his pocket to check his phone, realizing it was still on silent from the lecture. 23 missed calls! Oh god, what had he done?!

Yuui, seeing the horrified look on Fai’s face, smiled and wrapped his arm around his brother’s shoulders, “C'mon, let’s get you home.”

For the most part, the walk back to the dorm was taken in silence, but Yuui interrupted when they were near.

“So, what did you want to speak to me about?” And then in response to Fai’s shocked expression, “We grew up together, I can tell when you’re hiding something.”

After a long moment of silence, Fai responded.

“I don’t know what to feel anymore. When I met Kurogane at the start of the year, I didn’t feel anything…different about him. I saw it simply as an opportunity to make a new friend. And I’ll admit we did get closer over the year but I didn’t expect any of these feelings…and…EVEN IF I DO FEEL THIS WAY I CANT BE SURE THAT HE FEELS THE SAME!” Fai broke into a sob and stopped in front of the dorm building, “what if he…doesn’t…feel the same?”

Gently, Yuui coaxed Fai in the building and up the stairs to his dorm room, smiling slightly as though he knew something Fai didn’t know. And, even more suspicious, Yuui grabbed Fai’s shoulder when he was about to push open the door like he normally did and knocked instead.

Fai was confused, but before he had time to process anything the door was open, Kurogane standing on the other side. All his emotions fought for dominance within him; the joy of seeing Kuro for the first time that day, the guilt of being ignorant and walking off on his own, the cautious excitement of his newfound feelings but also the crushing fear that they might not be accepted. And so both of them stood there.

Just staring.

Eventually, Kurogane cleared his throat and motioned them both inside. Fai took almost cautious steps, the familiar dorm feeling more alien to him than ever. And though Kurogane didn’t say much, his eyes were always on Fai, the pressure of his gaze felt even more strongly in the moment. He needed to say something.

If he didn’t now, he wouldn’t ever.

Building up his courage, he turned around to look Kurogane in the eyes and-

Those red eyes. So familiar. His eyebrows hid a slight frown, but his eyes were warm and welcoming nonetheless. A look that said, “If you want to tell me, I’ll listen.”

Oh, how he wanted to tell him, but there was something inside that held him back, making it so all Fai could do was stare back into Kuro’s eyes. And then, even though he was sure Kurogane must be able to read the turmoil his emotions were in, the other man just gently lifted the corners of his mouth and snickered.

Too baffled by his response to react, Fai stood in silence as Kuro suddenly reached to the counter behind him and grabbed a delicious-looking apple pie. Even though it seemed to have cooled down a good deal (probably in the time Fai was gone), it still emanated the sweet smell of apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar, distracting Fai from his thoughts for just a few seconds and managing to calm him down long enough for him to question the pie’s existence. Fai looked at Kurogane, puzzled.

“What…this…did you…?” Fai asked as he silently cursed his lips for not working properly.

“Ah..um..so, yeah, I made this for you,” Kuro said embarrassedly, looking Fai in the eyes and smiling a slight but truly genuine smile.

An awkward moment passed between the two of them, until Yuui decided to interrupt and explain things.

“Kurogane came up to me at the beginning of the week and said he wanted to do something to celebrate the end of this year’s classes. It’s true it was sort of last minute, but the least I could do was help him bake a pie for you.” He winked slightly at Fai, encouraging him.

It made sense now! That’s why Kuro was gone this morning! That’s why he couldn’t find him all day!

Suddenly, he knew what had affected him that day, the one special thing he had missed throughout. It was simply Kurogane’s presence. Just the assurance of knowing Kurogane was there had been a tremendous stabilizing force in his life.

Making them tea on cold days.

Sitting beside him and occasionally helping with assignments.

Yelling outside the bathroom door when Fai locked him out for three hours each morning to do his hair.

Chasing Fai around the room when he stole the TV remote.

Sitting on their covered porch on stormy days, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain and counting the seconds between the lightning and the thunder.

Fai took the pie and glanced up at Kurogane, his emotions overflowing in his eyes. Although Kuro was calmer and more collected, he could tell the very same feelings were reflected in the other man’s eyes. While it might take time for both of them to voice their feelings, it would be well worth the wait.

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x19 notes

for some reason I got that old advert that’s like, “the future’s bright... the future’s Orange” stuck in my head the entire time. (I mean Orange got bought out by ee and the name vanished so... no, it’s not Orange. :P)

I blame the return of Sam’s orange jacket.

expectations - fairly muted since I read pretty much no speculation over the little break and really don't know what to make of this season in forward planning. Mittens said it best to me last night - that the show is doing quite predictable things but the layers and complexity and subversions on their own playbook are where it's interesting. So in a way it feels like we could map out what might happen in this episode? But I didn't feel like reading that because that would just make it feel predictable to the point of boredom guessing the big beats. And I'm expecting some of thing with the emotional side to be almost unpredictably messy. Like how 12x12 I don't think anyone was going into it thinking Cas was going to have a big i love you moment :P

For the actual writing, this is our potentially bizarre but wonderful combination of writers - Glynn and Berens having a crack at the Kelly stuff, and I think is the first time she's appeared outside of a Buckleming episode, while this is only the second time the Kelly stuff has even been IN a non-Buckleming episode after we saw Cas's side a bit in 12x15 before it got derailed into him going to Heaven, or 12x10 which was emotionally about it but only had mentions either side. Glynn's been huge on consent and attempting to handle things sensitively (to a varying degree of success in implementation according to the fandom,  but I award points for trying...) and Berens definitely wants to be a feminist writer and also to varying degrees of acceptance by the fandom, but his heart is in the right place. I think the two of them together would hopefully bring a very different perspective to Kelly's story and this is the episode where I'm hoping they make the most of the fact this storyline is happening... Plus I'm fairly sure this is the one directed by Amanda Tapping so there's that :3

-

recap starts right off with what Cas has been up to this third of the season. I was starting to forget who he was. Dean is worried about the same thing. Blah blah Kelly, Dean worrying about Cas, blah blah Kelly and Dagon, Eileen being a BAMF, where's Cas is he okay, Dean has the Colt.

I've never really ranked recaps out of 10 or anything but that was a pretty good one for all the layering in how Dean's been worried about Cas in between all these other events taking place, and also making it SO CLEAR that Dean is the one who's been worried about Cas

-

Kelly's looking great >.> Dagon appears to have moved her to a dungeon. Lovely. She's got the worst beside manner ever.

Or it's just the basement of a horrible shack. LOOKS like a dungeon, which I think is the point.

-

Oh gosh Dagon is properly scary, and Kelly gets some self-reflection... Or, well, her reflection is broken by the mirror and she's just a faceless baby bump. Great shot.

-

Oh no Kelly no... I actually care about her now and she got to actually say some actual words about how she feels and how this has affected her, aka jumped right over my extremely low bar for her treatment that Buckleming weren't exactly straining themselves to get over, and now she's trying to kill herself. :< :< They finally let the actress DO something where the scene was about HER and not JUST her baby, and it was incredible and terrible and arrrghhhh

I hope everyone was okay after that opening because that was pretty harsh. Bobo puts suicide-related stuff in a lot of his episodes with about the reliability of Buckleming and creepy pregnancies, but there's some pretty vivid, awful suicides on screen thanks to him, and this was a long beautifully shot sequence of her bleeding out

I mean I assume she'll be fine and I was waiting for the twist before the title card where the nephilim forces her back to life, but I guess they're leaving us on that for now >.>

(This was necessary to do, though, both because Kelly's really in a place where only extreme reactions can happen to prove anything, as it's such a tense bad situation, and also SHE needed to take an action to be a remotely fleshed out character after all she's been dragged through so far, and ALSO we need to see some proof the nephilim is as bad as it is, burning bible aside, that it's just not quite enough of a real threat or presence - something everyone is talking about but with the 9 month wait for a baby to pop is very hypothetical for the intervening time - I was actually expecting her to try cutting it out of herself, or at least if I had an R rated horror version of this show I would show that >.>)

(I mean if I was in control of an R rated version of the show we would probably not have this plotline :P)

-

*adds Sam drawing on the table to my list of offences he's committed against the bunker*

He really has it in for that table

That was a pretty fun montage of him doing stuff and thinking on screen for us. Weird as it may be I don't get the feeling the Winchesters think a lot because they usually show us them right when they walk in having googled something or already worked it out. We get middle of episode research montages but only a couple of episodes start on reading montages and usually to show the research is futile... Actually showing Sam puzzling out the thing he was wondering about before we get Dean wandering in and Sam explaining what that was all about is... weirdly refreshing... Proof they use their brains.

He's working out when Nephilim are born, which seems to be a somehow more complicated, magical thing than simple biology, but does explain the way he was talking about it in the promo, which without the montage sounded like another boring, “so I googled it and surprisingly there was a website to work this out”, kind of explanation.

It does get boring to keep showing that, even if thinking montages take up time, they LOOK good and are better storytelling for the characters.

-

Wait if you guys went to prison around early december, you DID spend Christmas and maybe Dean's birthday in the lock up... Oh no :P Was that ever actually confirmed? I thought we went the other way on that when we were trying to work it out over Christmas.

-

CAAAAS

Cas cas cas cas cas

"Hello." That is still the term? Been away a while :P

-

I love Dean's face as he watches Cas come down to join them. He's just stunned to see him.

Annoyed because he's concerned

"working with the angels"

*Dean's face puckers up comically*

-

Cas lies to them *Dean starts to make the 6x15 pouting face* ("that's how he does it") ... I have to screencap this I've never seen Dean make such a weird face since then :P

He goes through like eight different emotions and there isn't room enough for them all on his face. He's still pouting about one thing and then Sam says they're glad Cas is back and he overloads :P

-

Bless Amanda Tapping for capturing that on camera.

-

yikes Dean, once again with the concerned and angry thing >.> Pls stop being angry at Cas because you can't handle missing him that much. Sam says they're glad Cas is back because that's what you're supposed to say and he's happy Cas is back and there's some extra help and you know sometimes Cas is here and sometimes Cas isn't but when he is he's helpful and they like each other and get on... and meanwhile Dean has burned through like 3 diaries of emo teenage sobbing about if Cas likes him and why isn't he returning his calls or texts in the last month, and he's been on a rollercoaster of angst about it all and now Cas is back it's like wtf does he even CARE i thought he said he LOVED us how can he be so heartless FML *sounds of Evanescence playing from Dean's room* *sam does not ask*

And Cas pulls that Cas face he does when Dean gets like this (I mean they were standing around the table almost like this in 8x22 when Dean ripped into Cas, and again in 11x07... Never mind how Dean was acting in 12x10 at the start where, yep, Cas comes in just like in 8x22. War room table. Where the family goes to have its wars :P)

12x10 already subverted this while we were on the middle of the season emotional development phase of the story, so we'll see how it goes here

-

Dean's complaints about being ditched and ignored are definitely straight from his diary

-

"What the hell's wrong with you, man?"

*Cas can't answer*

Dean's like, whatever, and storms off to his room

*sounds of Evanescence playing even louder while he writes a few more pages in his diary*

-

BMoL like  "well we got some useful intel, but we need to edit so much romantic tension out of this before we can show it to the higher ups"

-

I suppose Cas can't answer because he's lying and for some reason or another everything sucks and what's wrong with him presumably boils down to the problem of home and family and whatever was put to him in Heaven, which I assume is directly relating to his conflict about home and family. The fact he can't answer is a very literal demonstration of him being trapped between all this and not able to answer. For whatever reason he's come back/been allowed to come back/been sent back, he is still stuck on their offer and walking into Dean throwing an almighty strop about Cas's absence and how much it's hurt him not to have Cas there... Not good for his ability to immediately answer.

[note with hindsight: okay don’t normally do this but the episode INTENTIONALLY wiped this off the slate and it’s not even a useful tangent thought. Guess this was left over what we were meant to be feeling (Kelvin asks Cas this in 12x15 after all which WAS the last word we had on it) but Cas has already made up his mind and his declaration of his motivations in this episode made this pretty obvious in hindsight that it was just what the angels THOUGHT Cas might be motivated by still but he really has gone all in with the Winchesters - of course only at the point it can get thrown away by other factors, and choices... Did have some other thoughts about Cas not being sure he belonged so a more subtle way of analysing it that Cas was realising he might not BELONG belong, but he would have to act to protect Dean from afar, and the cost of his friendship - well, Dean was ALREADY pissed at him so Cas will do what he has to >.>]

Also. Cas got all of Dean's calls. So, like, that's the same as 8x02 and "I prayed to you, every night!" "I know"

And while we're here, of course I shouldn't bring this in but what was Amanda Tapping around for during season 8, but pretty much entirely the Destiel scenes - and in this case, "you're hoping Castiel will return to you... I only wish he felt the same way" - now Cas returns and to Dean it seems like, well, he doesn't feel the same way.

-

Dean hides in his room. He's not listening to Evanescence. He's doing some more angry searching for Kelly or whatever. WHATEVER *pouts harder*

Cas knocks, doesn't get an answer, and comes in anyway. In 10x03 he knocks and waits until Dean invites him to come in - a much more sensitive situation where he was concerned about how Dean felt in a way where Dean was sad and fragile. He's being a bit fragile now, in a slightly more ridiculous way, but Cas is just gonna barge in now. This isn't Cas being "such an angel" about doors (re: 9x22 and Gadreel barging in on Metatron, hi Dabb) which was something we were discussing after 10x03 and how Cas had a, well, not-angelic approach to doors. Cas CHOOSES to ignore the lack of invitation and barge in anyway and when it comes to Cas and social nuances, it's always worth pointing out what he does and doesn't already know.

[edit with hindsight: also - early warning he’s violating the space by not respecting Dean’s privacy and that this WAS an intrusion. I actually didn’t remember to analyse what I thought Cas was up to here, mostly because he WAS acting shifty so I didn’t know what to trust he was doing but not enough to guess what he WOULD do :P]

Also how to know if you still ship the thing: obviously predicted the only reason they'd show Dean in his room after he stomped off alone was if Cas came for a round 2 without Sam around to make it hard to talk, and for them to chat in a more personal, less conflict-y environment. And yet as soon as I see his dumb face on my screen my heart skips.

I think this is only the second time Cas has ever come into Dean's room, officially, aside from 10x03.

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Um

-

...

-

*rewinds*

-

D-did Cas just... break up with Dean by giving him back the mix tape they made out to at prom or something

What the fuck

-

*rewinds*

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"I just wanted to return this"

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No okay Cas definitely just broke up with Dean by giving him back the mix tape they made out to at prom

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Why though

-

Why would you even write this into your show

-

"It's a gift. You keep those."

Dean you are so broken hearted I'm gonna die

*Evanescence blaring in Dean's soul at top volume*

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I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave 'Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me by your resonating light Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years You still have all of me, me, me

-

("My Immortal" - it seemed fitting :P)

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Yes I remember being 16. Who doesn't regret some things.

-

Um I literally don't have any analysis of their interactions here because my brain shorted out and all I can think of is that this was literally the stupidest thing they've ever written if they don't think Destiel is a thing. I mean look at it.

At some point in the last say 5 years or whatever Dean's made Cas a mixtape.

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And then Cas tried to give it back because Dean was a dick to him when he was upset about Cas leaving and not returning his calls.

And Dean was like fuck off it was a present because oh my god what the fuck Supernatural

-

I need to keep watching because I could very easily sit here yelling at the screen for the rest of the day and I only just remembered that Kelly's off dead or not in a bathtub and there's real problems here which aren't these two emo 16 year olds figuring out what a crush is in glacial slow motion.

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Oh NO there's a close up on their hands as Cas takes it back. And Cas makes another noise like he might say something and he doesn't and I'm actually going to CRY with FRUSTRATION

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Dean actually tries a little to explain why he's pissed from his POV without resorting to Evanescence lyrics.

"WE didn't know what had happened to you. WE were worried about you"

Dean you may have missed the recap, but uh, Dean it was all about you missing him. Last episode Sam even was like "he'll be fine" and you were like "..."

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"I didn't mean to add to your distress" you need to not sound sarcastic when you say these things because I know you mean it but you still sound pissed off with Dean and it's not heeelping

-

Cas breaks my fucking heart talking about how he needed to bring a win back for Dean after failing so many times in a row and then Dean turns around and finally stops giving Cas the cold shoulder (LOL SHOULDERS) and faces him and says Cas isn't the only one "rolling snake eyes" (I'm quoting just because I love how Dean talks, I don't have anything profound to say about the gaming reference)

Now Dean is sounding as miserable as Cas

-

wait hang on I just remembered that Dean gave Cas a mixtape

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They seem to be having a deep conversation challenging each other about if they would kill an innocent, phrased in those terms - I think Cas wants Dean to admit he couldn't because he's having doubts, but Heaven would want him to do it and Cas looks to Dean for guidance. Dean mentions how they've been researching how NOT to kill the baby to not much luck showing they don't WANT to but Cas is testing if this is even their last resort. The moral certainty in the situation is all messed up for them. They never want to kill innocents, but Sam at least has done it before intentionally for the sake of saving the world (4x22) and as much as they like finding other ways, the fate of the planet is a pretty strong motivator to go into a morally grey area...

Dean caves and says they're trying to find another way.

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We as in you and me, dumbass.

Less dumb, less ass, more trusting couple :3 That's their un break up get back together code word, because 9x10 put them back together

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I had the worrying thought Cas gave the mixtape back because he thought DEAN had broken up with HIM and that Cas had to reluctantly return all the things Dean gave him because if they were broken up what would Cas want with them any more they'd just remind him of Deeeean

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Mittens also suggested to me that it was Cas trying to show Dean that he felt he'd messed up and was trying to apologise and show that he knew he'd hurt Dean and that he didn't deserve the mixtape any more and this is honestly the worst thing I've ever read so I need to try and watch the rest now

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oh god I shouldn't have paused where I did because the next thing Dean does is get up, walk into Cas's space, talk about Team Free Will to Cas's face and I feel a piece of my soul that has been soaked in bitterness that Cas was unconscious and had no idea Dean called it that sarcastically once a million years ago, has finally been put to rest that Cas is now officially, knowingly, a member of Team Free Will and also that Dean remembered calling it that, apparently thinks of them as it.

It's so fucking fanservicey but you know what it's season 12, I fully intend to buy this on DVD when it comes out, I deserve my little TFW loving heart to have some fan service of Dean calling them that again despite it being one of those things where logically I'd say Dean should never repeat it because it was a off-hand comment that got blown all out of proportion by the fandom loving having a thing to call the squad.

(The part of me that makes bad speculative decisions is remembering that Dean used that phrase when he was resisting Michael and was a direct result of talking to him face to face and being told he had no free will - how that relates to the theme of the season is interesting because they're not facing any direct threat to their free will, apparently. But their choices still matter. Michael's not coming back. She says loudly and firmly to herself.)

[edit from later: well THERE’S your direct threat to your free will!]

Also it's including Cas and Dean using that phrase is a strong reminder that it's not just the brothers Winchester, but that Team Free Will is the main unit of the show - and Dean knows and acknowledges that (and has probably been reading Winchester Gospels meta to try and work out what would be the best songs to give Cas on his mixtape and incidentally picked up the idea the fandom liked calling them that)

[edit from later: reminding Cas he was a member of Team Free Will was fucking inviting that, you take it back Dean Winchester. I hate hindsight-activated dramatic irony]

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They were standing so close. I think Dean patted Cas's shoulder briefly on the way out the door. Also once the "official" conversation was over, Dean found it much harder to meet Cas's eye, probably because they're that close to kissing if there's nothing else to discuss.

Dean leaves and Cas is left standing in his room - the camera goes back to his face as he looks mournfully around Dean's room. Like. At his bed or something idk I'm not an expert

[efl: oh my god]

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I love Amanda Tapping and Bobo and Glynn. Buying them all a round.

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Anyway Kelly and Dagon.

-

Oh dear, bloody bathtub, and no sign of Kelly?

She's sitting in the corner wrapped in something that looks kind of like an American flag or has one in the corner, and is kind of stunned in a I just had a religious experience way about her baby not letting her die. She loves him, is the problem.

Look at all this character complexity wow

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She spoke to her baby about how they couldn't be together and they had to die, but the baby saved them both - for now - and honestly she was a religious woman anyway... I wonder if she thinks that the baby preserving its safety in the womb while its not ready to be born is a sign it will protect her and Dagon is wrong and that the baby loves her back... A good cover for if we go back to Buckleming characterisation, Kelly being reluctant and protective of the baby even if she obviously hates being imprisoned and is terrified, we now have a few different sides to her feelings about it explored...

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*Amanda messing around filming through the bunker railings because they're fun* this time Sam caught in a circle. He was caught in a triangle in 12x16 so I'm starting to think the theme is that Sam is trapped, in a weird way. Not sure if foreshadowing or representative of his mental state. Obviously he floats around on the surface a lot making head choices instead of heart choices, and they still think they're working for the BMoL even if it's shady and weird, they're still technically ON that decision, or, well, Sam is. Even if this episode is unrelated, the triangle was pretty much for that in 12x16 as far as I could tell, so now it's just repeating Sam is trapped. As well as sitting at the Bunker table with his feet up so he's lost 2 tally marks already towards wanton bunker mistreatment and we're like 10 minutes into the episode...

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Uhoh, Sam isn't sleeping. Dean seems to be wandering through the Bunker, hopefully carrying a cloud of "we're communicating now?" with him. Maybe they will TALK *gasp* *sound of a glass shattering in the otherwise silence*

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Sam: so we can't find Dagon Me: you better not fuckin say what I think - Sam: what if we find the nephilim Me: ho don't do it Sam: it's half-angel Me: fuck off Sam Sam: remember Gadreel Me: EVERY DAY Sam: there was a spell Me: I FUCKING KNOW Sam: I'm an idiot Me: Listen we have proposed this idea like every single random plot twist that's happened since 9x11 and if you say what I think you're about to say then yes I'm sitting with Dean and judging you from here to ever for this Sam: omg how did we forget we had that grace extracting needle thingy in the basement for 3 years Me: Because you're a fucking idiot and I love you but you need to know.

I watched 9x10-12 very recently, like, this week recently, and I am distressed and Sam is predictable if you have been screeching through the walls of reality at him for a few weeks - apparently he heard me

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Sam is also sitting in the library, not in the exact place he was in 9x10 in his head, but Dean just went to get a beer and came found him and in 9x10 imaginary Dean yelled at Sam if he wanted a beer and didn't show up so this somehow folded the entire thing back in on itself and this is why Dabb era agitates my migraines

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I just can't believe that for once in our fuckin' lives we were like what if this happened and then a few weeks later on the show Sam's like wait what if we actually did the thing that the fans all instantly decided we should do

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Dean's "yay we found another way!" look

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Cas isn't in his room (CAS HAS A FUCKING ROOM IN THE BUNKER PARADE) and I am so baffled because I thought that he was still in Dean's room chilling on Dean's bed waiting for him to get back with the beers that I couldn't understand why Dean even thought Cas was in another room.

I mean to be fair the show has been so fan fictiony I can be allowed to forget that Dean supposedly wouldn't forget that

-

shoving aside my mistaken idea Cas was still in Dean's room, Dean gets a whole lot of sad music while staring mournfully into Cas's room after Cas was last seen staring mournfully into Dean's room

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TBH Dagon's starting to sound more and more like an overbearing helicopter parent who has the whole plan for lil Satan Jr's life. Does mother know best? It's literally a debate of interpretation coming from their desires - Dagon wants him to be an evil monster who takes over the world and consumes everything. Kelly just wants him to be a regular kid (and Sam and Dean have maybe hit on the way to do that) and interprets his actions as loving her back and using his powers for good.

I suppose if Satan jr isn't evil then it'll be a story about mother's love being right, which could be interesting with where the Mary stuff goes. I still hope there's a reckoning about Sam and Mary and the Azazel deal which of course this mirrors even if so far it's been a bit weird about it because it's just kind of over there happening. Sam got to explore this with Magda and the Hitler's great niece thing, and came to the same conclusion they weren't evil, whatever their family or powers were. And same for himself, something he had to cope with (the Hitler episode makes more sense now with the nephilim story). Now we have the nephilim and Sam has been keeping himself up at night until he hit on a way to give it a chance from birth to be good and uncorrupted, like he never got.

Dagon's talking about being right at the baby's side, about nurturing and loving him - being at his side to help him kill everything, like a mother should. Now we have Dagon actively competing to be the other mother figure, the evil one. Kelly and Dagon as like, shoulder angel and demon to the baby. Two competing motherly instincts. Possibly representative of the torn loyalties/actions Mary's been through, from her deal with Azazel through to deciding to work with the BMoL and all the Ketch stuff, on the Dagon side, and her genuine love for Sam and Dean and wanting what's best for them on the Kelly side. As a metaphor for her entire influence on their lives and the story of the show, the Dagon side has utterly won out, as her deal took her from Sam and all she could do was offer one "sorry" as a ghost (the loving, ineffectual Kelly side), before Sam was left to the vulnerability of being jerked around by demons and eventually by Lucifer himself until he was possessed by him. But Kelly has a trust in the baby's nature, and Sam is inherently good, although tbh I may be forgetting everything but has this literally not been addressed from Mary's POV since 12x03 (hi Berens) where her idea of Sam and Dean were represented with the little 4 year old ghost for Dean, and the FREAKY MONSTER BABY in the crib? I was so sure there'd be a deeper exploration of Mary's issues with this - that Sam had been made into a monster and what he'd been through. Kelly having a moment where she is so convinced by Dagon's words that the baby is a monster that she'd rather kill herself to take it out with her, might mirror the sort of revulsion Mary COULD have, even for a moment, learning what Sam was made into. But Kelly loves the baby anyway and trusts its nature and intentions.

We'll see who's right.

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Cas cas cas cas

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He never looks happy. I can never tell when he's just grumpy or actually worried about something.

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But in this case, yeah he stole the Colt :P Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal.

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Blah blah stuff I was saying about homes and loyalties. And now I get why Mittens was suggesting he gave the tape back as an apology - he knows Dean will be mad about what he's about to do, and already IS mad at Cas for how he's acted so far, so really what hope does Cas have of escaping with Dean's good opinion after doing what needs to be done (he hasn't said it yet but pfft I'm deep in season 9 now, that phrase haunts me). If he WAITED he'd know Sam hit on an answer and they could have TFW'd it, but his loyalty to Heaven has confused things. This is 6x21 I guess - Cas comes in to have an emotional conversation with Dean at the end of 6x20 but in 6x21 Bobby reveals he stole important lore he had on opening Purgatory - in fact, it WAS the lead Cas needed to get the thing done. So we're still on the season 6 repeat, but of course Cas is more reasonable even if he's conflicted right now and seeming to pick Heaven (mostly because he's conflicted and even if Dean's pissed at Cas he makes it really super clear he loves him and sees him as part of the team as well - now for Cas to catch on :P) ... I think there's time for Cas to come around that he didn't have in season 6 as this is earlier in the season.

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UGH Cas you need to change your phone background. WHY is it still the Buddy Boyle cloudburst. Did you steal your phone from an angel you killed back in season 9 or something? I mean I know you have a new phone since then so why do you keep using that background???

dear art department,

get a new picture of the sun coming from behind a cloud, seriously,

love from,

someone who re-watches season 9 all the time

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Anyway that's a lot of missed calls and texts from Dean - after that apology, right back to doing the same thing.

The fact Cas takes his phone out and looks each time while it rings out is just awful

the decisive way he hits the reject call button and tucks his phone into his inside pocket, next to his heart - and where he was keeping the mix tape

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Kelvin literally spelling out "You're doing the right thing, putting angelkind above the Winchesters" pfft

pointing out someone is doing the right thing as a reassurance IMMEDIATELY says there's a conflict whether this is the right thing or not, and then he makes it clear that Cas is putting angels above the Winchesters I mean, this is basic :P Cas belong with the Winchesters, heaven is manipulating him, he needs constant reassurance it's the right thing while being torn by all the love and family and having a room and Dean making him mixtapes...

But then Cas turns it around that he isn't dealing with this conflict at all, actually, and he's like, I'm doing this FOR the Winchesters (that word again - "for" - what Cas uses every time he makes a decision, and while dealing with the consequences, explains that it was FOR them, or has someone else tell him it was all FOR Dean or whatever (hi Metatron). He is putting them above everything again, like he did in 12x09 when he killed Billie - he'd rather do something reckless and stupid to keep them AWAY from a problem that could get them hurt, and he will lose their trust and faith but know they're alive and well... Same deal in season 6, never coming to them. "where were you when I needed to hear it?" - well, giving you back your fucking mixtape because it is a symbol that we love and trust each other and don't take that back even when we hurt each other.

I think the problem is Cas still feels like an angel to them (Mittens is watching 6x20 over there and mentioning it just enough to drive me crazy :P) - he still considers himself the Winchesters' guardian... Aka he is an angel who will outlive them and he just wants them, from an abstract, faraway place, to be happy and well... He will sacrifice anything to get that done but Dean (and Sam) just want him around hanging out with them, as part of the family unit, TFW working together on a problem and doing it the hard way as long as it means honest, together, and as a team. And for Cas to be integrated into the family, and maybe there are easier shortcuts (the lazy way to kill the monster is just to bring the Colt along instead of doing extra research to figure out a better way - the theme of the season being better ways) but better to do things the harder way and get the better result and to all love and trust each other at the end of the day and to feel happy in what we did, not sick and morally compromised.

(I really hope Dean admitting he wanted to find a better way as a way of saying he didn't want to kill the nephilim is the guidance Cas needed - that this subverts the "i watched you rake leaves" thing but... aaaah)

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Anyway Cas's face when he says he'll kill the girl so they don't have to... CAS the call you rejected was because they FOUND THE BETTER WAY

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Also not for nothing but the Colt can't kill Lucifer - how confident are we it can kill his kid?

-

But pfft Joshua thinking Cas is doing it to save his reputation - that he cares about the Winchesters more than Heaven - and Cas is like pfft screw my reputation in Heaven I'm doing this to protect Sam and Dean from tarnishing their lovely little souls.

-

pfft

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hey a redshirt angel showed up

-

Cas leading a bunch of angels while holding the Colt. I am confused about how much I like this. I don't like it at all because of what he's doing but it's also sort of cool to see Cas at work doing stuff by himself (ish) like how he naturally leads angels, how he has the Colt (and the angels follow his lead because he has 1000x the experience of them put together but the lil baby has shot one shotgun once in his whole life... uh.)

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We need the gun range scene where Dean teaches Cas to shoot

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I like that Dagon is watching TV though. I mean she has a pretty boring job tbh - she has to wait out a pregnancy and she's confident the baby she wants to survive will survive and she doesn't care about the mother's survival so what else is there to do but watch TV

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Seriously, Cas is still just sneaking through the house and I have no idea if he knows how to shoot it or even hold it. The one promo pic of him with it wasn't super inspiring. I sort of feel like he's going to waste a bunch of bullets.

Be hilarious if he had an Eileen parallel since that was even in the recap and Eileen and Cas were paralleled so much in 12x17 - why wouldn't Cas have an epic slo mo but Dagon dissolves away and random redshirt angel gets it? :P

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LOL Cas shot and she disappeared

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*awards self some chocolate*

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He didn't get the slo mo or kill the other guy but I'll fuckin' take it

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now he has to decide, Dagon or Kelly as the second bullet?

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Or just give up now and maybe she'll let them go because it's hilarious to watch them run

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oh look Dagon's about to kill the red shirt

anyway Cas was lining up another shot at her while she was distracted - prioritising killing her over killing Kelly - and then Kelvin stops him and tells him to find Kelly. Obviously to kill her, but I feel like Cas is gonna make off with her if the promo pics are anything to go by - tempted by the idea of a better way? Just can't kill her? I should prrroobably just watch... No point speculating things randomly when I don't have any meta ideas for why that aren't obvious :P

Kelvin is pretty brave to leap into that fight - I hope he doesn't get dusted

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Cas holding the gun at hip height also means he's shooting at Kelly's stomach if he can fire

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He did change the way he was holding it from the other times so I think that's very symbolic now.

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Also the camera is making Cas into the monster, and Kelly is terrified :<

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Yep she remembered his name and Cas bottled out of killing her and made off with her. Which I think also bought Kelvin some screen time because Dagon was too busy realising her captive was unattended to finish him off.

Cas had Kelly at his mercy and couldn't do it, so I suppose now he calls up the Winchesters and fesses up?

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This is the halfway point of the episode

-

Oh look now Cas has betrayed them, SAM gets to make the call - 7x01 there, Dean stops reaching out to Cas, Sam does it instead because Dean is feeling too betrayed and hurt to deal with it. The first call was probably "dude where are you, we found a better way" but this is immediately post betrayal

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When the animated japanese erotica thing came up again in 12x06, I did not seriously credit that we'd get a repeat of the whole shebang :P

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Dabb era, man. Fuckin' Dabb era

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Anyway Dean's angrily loading guns which he does when he's pissed

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Pfft Dean and the Colt... it's a thing. He had it under his pillow. So Cas WAS staring longingly at Dean's bed and wanted the uh, phallic gun that was under it. The gun that Dean's trying to absorb into his own being because he has such a thing for waving the phallic gun around and wanting to shoot it.

Pfffffffft.

And he feels used because Cas came into his room and took something private and trusted from his bed - they had a MOMENT and Dean dared to express his love for Cas and... this is how Cas repaid him.

Listen this is why I don't speculate: the little clip of Dean looking pissed when they meet Cas at the motel? Way past the halfway point because I haven't even seen it yet. Dean isn't pissed because Cas hasn't talked to them for months and that's the first time he sees him. He's pissed because he made Cas a mixtape, Cas tried to give it back, then Dean professed his love, and Cas betrayed the trust of his BED.

Dean is a lover spurned and he wants to kick Cas's butt for it - he starts talking about Cas being "feathery" and turning him back into an angel (or junkless or whatever) whenever he's really pissed. The more he's happy with Cas the more human he is ("morning, sunshine, want some coffee?") and the more upset and spurned he is the more his language refers to Cas as an angel and all the shit Dean's said about them since season 4 comes back up.

And he pointedly packs an angel blade. I mean, he's seriously feeling violated by this >.>

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Sam plays the mediator a lot because Dean and Cas can be so fucking unreasonable about each other because they're emo teenagers when it comes to their feelings for each other. It's not Sam's personality, per say, it's just he had to watch his brother say he'll kick Cas's ass while packing an angel blade and Sam has to be like "!!! no !!!"

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"He came into my room and he played me" "He played us both"

^ Sam popping up in the background "and Sam!"

Just... the fact Sam is so tacked on after Dean and Cas had a deep personal moment about the fucking mixtape Dean made Cas (I haven't stopped grinning since that happened and it's really affecting how I view this episode). Sam just isn't personally violated after a deep emotional moment.

"He came into my room"

I mean

It's so PERSONAL

(You’re talking by the war room table - bad idea)

And that could mean anything to Sam - he doesn't know it was JUST about the mixtape, and that Cas essentially was relying on Dean storming out the room as he usually does when he talks to Cas to get the Colt. I mean, Dean n Cas could have had a wild make up sex moment, and then Dean went off to get beer and left Cas lying in his bed, where he just so happened to get his hands on the Colt. Sam doesn't know the details of this violation :P

(But, ignoring the gross romantic overtones of what ACTUALLY happened, this is how it's playing)

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*Cas angry driving*

-

Kelly trying to make light of the fact Cas didn't murder her, like, thanks, you came in and pointed a gun at me but then bottled out and somehow it's still the best thing that happened to me all day.

-

Cas looks sadder than ever. "Please don't thank me. I had a mission and I failed." Now he's got all emotionally messed up by not wanting to kill an innocent, Sam and Dean are in trouble, and he knows the ball is back in their court if he can't do the one thing he thought he had to to make this go away for them. His sadness is that they're going to get entangled in this again one way or the other. And instead of feeling like he took the moral high ground, and that it's good he didn't kill Kelly, it's just another list of failures this season - the vampire hunt, not finding Sam and Dean in prison, letting Kelly get away the first time, probably a ton of feelings of blame for all the other episodes where they didn't have stunning results that he was involved in like 12x07, 12x10, 12x12...

"And now I don't know" - Cas not knowing what to do is when he panics. He likes knowing what to do :< He has a wee bit of a bad track record when he doesn't know what to do with himself, whether it's because something else latches onto his lack of direction, or he leaps into a bad decision by himself...

-

Dagon lying to Lucifer - does that even work?

Nope.

"Which one?" "Castiel" *Lucifer literally breaks down into hysterical despairing laughter* I think he never wants to hear that name again...

he called Cas a "purse dog" which is even worse than the normal dog references levelled at Cas. Yikes.

-

That was actually not a cringeworthy scene, maybe because Lucifer and Crowley weren't talking :P

-

Is Cas actually trying to call Sam and Dean?

-

Nope, he called Joshua. Oh dear, he was getting orders. He sounds so season 4. And that defeated tone of voice as he recites to Kelly how she has to die.

(Oh no, Cas actually EXPLAINING what would happen if a human stepped through the gate with the sort of technical detail nerds eat up, and Cas sounding all cosmic and like it's not weird at all to casually contemplate what would happen to your atoms when you tried to go through a gate to Heaven that wasn't meant to let you through... I've always loved physics professor Cas, especially a non-AU one where he just goes to teach it because why not.)

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"Your child could bring the universe to its knees" "Or lift it to its feet. This baby - nothing is born evil" "I can't take that chance. None of us can."

*flails at these lines* I'm starting to like Kelly. She's arguing a pretty simplistic POV but it's one in line with the whole Team Free Will thing and the idea of hope - this season has had a lot of hope and hopelessness. The 3rd way isn't mentioned - that it's a normal baby and Kelly goes to live a regular life and all the powerful forces lose interest in her and the baby... In a way Cas's POV is mired in years of trauma and saving the universe and making complicated shades of grey decisions and harsh choices for the greater good, or, well, for Dean. Because of Dean. Everything always about Dean.

-

I don't WANNA make everything about Destiel but "none of us can" is about Dean, and Dean made Cas a mixtape and everything is awful

-

Poor Kelvin.

-

"W W C D - what would Castiel do?" that's the weirdest Jesus imagery attached to Cas but I kind of want one of those rubber bracelets they used to hand out with phrases like that on :P

of course what Cas would do is the big question, and so far he's been pretty reliably unreliable and making bad decisions out of heart

-

Too much heart etc

-

*Cas closes all the blinds and moves Kelly around.* He's sort of acting like a prison guard too.

-

Kelly describing how she killed herself - also great dialogue and acting... Wow I'm really starting to like her. They're having to work with her being a bit of a religious ditz in some respects - interpreting it as a miracle and using that word - but they're making up for so much lost time with her characterisation and filling in the person behind all the being dragged around. Kelly has HOPE and LOVE for her baby and felt its power as goodness... Then she speaks just a little too long and stops sounding sure and starts sounding like she just wishes it was a miracle/is the sort of person prone to believing in them, and a plan, a higher power, which has been utterly debunked since season 5 and we have to know that as an audience that she's talking too far into her simplistic ideas unaffected by the gritty reality of Heaven and Hell in this world. I mean sure she's got such a simple view on it all but she's got a stance and she's been through a change and she's sticking with it.

Cas listening to all this - the way his face moves when she talks about giving up and killing herself. Oh no. He understands :< And it's her talking about a higher power that gets him to sit down and talk to her.

Cas talking about his season 4 self and then saying they're all "winging it" oh no oh no.

Oh noooo

And now he has to describe that Lucifer has no plan and that unlike Sam, born to a great destiny after a huge amount of manipulation to meet what seemed to be the originally described destiny of the universe since it was created, as per God, Kelly has this devil baby for no reason except Lucifer passing on the existential angst he's suffering since existing outside of The Plan

-

Really, Raphael was extremely ahead of the curve in having a massive existential crisis about wtf you do when you run out of story. Cas seemed to think it was an optimistic thing at the start of season 6 according to 6x20, and the rope you hang yourself with when you have free will by the end of it. But this season, after God left and wrote his final manuscript and all the stuff with Metatron and writing was cleared away - there's REALLY no story left and season 12, literally another half of the show later, is getting back to this freak out.

-

"I'm sorry. You were just there."

-

That did sound really heavy-handed that Cas might end up having to protect the nephilim if it's born and Kelly dies, and that she was seeing Cas as a potential guardian...

Of course then Cas puts his hand on her stomach when she makes him, smiles a bit despite himself, because, idk, the miracle of life... But then either Lucifer or the baby uses that contact to see stuff - the conflict at the portal I guess. With yellow eyes roar-y sound effects.. I guess Lucifer or Dagon will learn this, and the nephilim is working against Cas and Kelly...

-

*brief interlude where we have a guest for dinner so I disappear for ages*

ANYWAY I need to get back to this I was interrupted right as Cas and Kelly were having an EPIC conversation about choice it's killing me :P

mittensmorgul good luck. I've got it paused about 2/3 of the way through

elizabethrobertajones Cas just had his hand put on the tummy - forcefully - and he smiled but actually something bad appears to have happened because her eyes lit up and did the demon roary sound effecct

mittensmorgul RIGHT?!

elizabethrobertajones I think the nephilim is spying on them for Lucifer >.> idk if that proves it's evil or if he just has a magic connection?? and it's being exploited and the poor baby is a tool as well WHO KNOWS theeeemes

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Anyway I guess they both sensed that - I don't think Kelly is evil but Cas seems to have maaaaybe seen what it saw? Got a premonition for free?? Who knows. Coming right after the talk about Cas being a potential guardian I think the vision showed him protecting her, so it may be pretty significant that he's going to be their guardian... The vision MAY be benign in some senses for THEIR conversation even if it seems kind of dangerous that that might be how Dagon finds them at the portal by having a vision OF her attacking them at the portal or something

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Thinking of happening to find people, Dean is at the door. Knock knock, that's my gun.

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Woah finally a circumstance to flip that time Cas slammed Dean against a wall

They're framed in the circle this time - interesting we had Sam alone in one circle and Dean and Cas in a charged situation in the other circle

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Sam and Dean have both chosen to wear their best jackets for this

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Uh, anyway. Argh, Cas getting pushed against the wall and just kind of going and watching Dean, and Dean's so angry, and Cas is just... letting him shove him around. I think letting is the operative word. These days angels aren't quite so iron rigid that like 4x22 you punch them and it makes a clang if they don't want to get punched. But yeah. Cas is still an angel, and he didn't HAVE to get shoved harmlessly against the wall. He could push back, but he KNOWS he did something that would piss Dean off, and he's just gonna ride it out and take the blame and take the punishment... The mission isn't finished yet so he would probably do anything to make sure it was, but only with the "for Dean" tick box checked, that it wouldn't hurt Dean in the process >.>

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elizabethrobertajones HOLYC RAP SAm was suspicious THE ENTIRE TIME?? He put the tracking thing on Cas's phone while Dean was being "scammed" out of the Colt because dean let his guard down and fell for Cas's little moment with the tape and he was over-emotional about  keeping the Colt close

mittensmorgul yep

elizabethrobertajones and Sam saw something fishy about the way Cas wouldn't look them in the eye and managed to 10 steps ahead Cas while Dean was giving him heart eyes and calling him a "dumbass"

mittensmorgul yep, but Cas was looking Dean in the eye. A lot.

elizabethrobertajones sweet sweet eye love making Ugh :P Dean only looked away at the end when he said he was going to get a beer and I think he was gonna kiss Cas if he didn't distract himself

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones I wonder if Cas's plan B was fall into bed with Dean, grab the colt when he was distracted last night on earth their relationship like yeah he'll never trust me again but

mittensmorgul oh no wait for Dean to nod off and then grab the gun and run

elizabethrobertajones sorry that's kind of morbid :P but yeah

mittensmorgul D:

elizabethrobertajones >.> Okay I hate that but I sort of think it was somewhere on Cas's plans >.> he's heaven's greatest strategist after all went in there with a goal to distract Dean and get the Colt at whatever cost (friendship wise) to protect Dean in the long term

mittensmorgul yeah, I don't think he counted it out as a possibility

elizabethrobertajones I wrote a long thing about how he still sees himself as their guardian and not quite sure about being their friend, after you reminded me of 6x20

mittensmorgul Yeah, because he could live with Dean not trusting him, as long as DEAN WAS ALIVE to not trust him...

elizabethrobertajones or at least he's not sure he can trust he'd be their BFF

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones but he CAN do huge gestures from afar that protect them even if it's at the cost of their relationship the abstract concept of alive winchesters matters to Cas in an angel-y way

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"She's difficult to kill, okay?!" "you think?" yeah they're all struggling with this at the moment :P All having the same encounters but apart and coming to the same BLOODY OBVIOUS conclusions

gosh maybe WORKING TOGETHER is the answer

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Oh gosh Cas isn't the babysitter

...

...

...

*obligatory fandom reference despite the fact Cas has never brought pizza to the bunker which tbh now I think about it is really rude of him and probably on Dean's list of reasons he's currently pissed at Cas*

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Anyway Cas tries to do the same speech he's done in 12x09 about how he wants to protect them and keep them safe and so he does dumbass things to do so

Dean's like WHEN ARE WE EVER SAFE. LAST WEEK A BLOOD-DRINKING GOD HAD ME KNOCKED OUT AND SARAN-WRAPPED IN A MEAT LOCKER AND THAT WAS A NORMAL THURSDAY NIGHT

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The answer is for Cas to come on all the MotW to hold his hand

[edit from future!me: you’re always right when you’re sarcastic trope x what you expect but not how you expected it]

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At least he's being honest about his motivations.

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... Dean has no way of knowing it's a sandbox unless Cas told them, so there's that for off-screen communication.

Kelly has a "sandbox!" moment of realisation of what she saw... Was it Cas protecting her from Dagon or the angels she wonders?

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"We've found another way!" "which you'd know if you answered the phone" I love when episodes answer my own meta neatly within the time limit :P No loose end on that one.

Cas having the similar ?!?!? moment of realising how silly they were to forget about this.

I mean he has grumpy quibbles about it and holy crap in my 9x11 rewatch I got so distracted by how the needle was not just extracting gadreel's grace but the left over god crap in Sam (as I realised the trials and mark of cain were essentially EXACTLY the same thing from 2 different ends of the spectrum - big helping of Chuck mojo to wield his power, being helping of Amara mojo to wield her power. Sam flashed back to doing the trials - to significantly EARLY in doing the trials, right back to 8x17.) and I wondered if that was screwing with the results, and also why the spell failed.

It's not like a woah angel fall spell revelation but it was something I was wondering about and honestly after sitting around wondering about the mechanics of it for an afternoon just for kicks a while back, the fact this is all back in the spotlight is really making me laugh

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Anyway, Kelly's not up for it >.>

Come back Kelly

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She thinks both of them dying together (which she was aiming for at the start but for bad reasons but also self-sacrificing reasons which are still motivating her here, that she'd go with Cas to protect everyone) is better than living but with her baby just being a regular old human baby. Dean values humanity above anything - "at least he dies human!" he said about Sam in 4x21 when Bobby suggested detoxing would kill him. If there's a chance for them to LIVE human then that's the happy dream ending, the case solved, random humans can go back to their lives like nothing happened DREAM for Dean so he thinks Kelly has lost her mind. She's working on very different principles here and agreeing with Cas about what to do but not why - Cas just wants to protect humanity (and by humanity - yeah you know the drill)

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If Cas steals the impala too I'm going to scream.

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"it's like herding cats"

-

I love when Dean and Cas have long staring competitions though.

Cas seems to agree to talk and drags Kelly off in much the same way as Dagon dragged her off. Even though they agree and he is seeming to be protective of her, and LIKES Kelly and sees her as a person now (despite his original intention to just shut his eyes and kill her)... but yeah, still just the other side of the coin of Heaven and Hell pulling her around and controlling her.

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*camera takes its eye off Cas*

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*whoops back on it to watch Misha fumbling catching the keys* I wonder how many takes before Amanda gives up and is like fine we'll use that one - at least you CAUGHT them

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huh, he gets in the back. That is NOT what I was expecting.

-

What the heck Cas you don't just throw the keys to Kelly

Now she's gonna steal the car

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okay so like I said, things are predictable but not how you expect... Dabb era in a nutshell and also cars are involved

-

I wonder if Cas didn't immediately stop Kelly stealing the car because he knows they're both indestructible but the car isn't and Dean is in the mood where he will actually stab Cas if the car gets busted up.

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There's something a lot like Hael here, which is how Cas's story all started with the character reboot of human Cas (he never recovered from it emotionally; Cas between 8x23 and 9x01 are more different than 9x01 and now Cas in some ways)

But yeah, the "where are you going?" "heaven and I'll make you tell me how to go there" thing - it's the same assured way Hael uses to talk about how they'll go see the grand canyon and then she'll possess him.

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And he hopes he can talk her out of it. He agreed to talk to Dean about options but Kelly has decided what is best for her and her kid - to go to Heaven, where she's clearly imagining a Mary's Heaven she left behind scenario of chillaxing with her baby even though Heaven doesn't work like that. Now he can't talk to Dean about options but he's stuck in the car with Kelly... all he can do is talk if he doesn't want to crash the car

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oh no Lucifer must have been talking to her pretending to be the baby. Weird contradictory if I go with your plan (to go to Heaven and be obliterated) then you'd make sure my son is born? And she thinks it was talking to her. Now it's full on creepy if it was ACTUALLY the baby, but... I suspect foul play

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Oh why does Cas never get anything good. We have the exact same Hael situation except at least Hael wasn't being controlled/manipulated (can we retcon all of Kelly’s silly actions were because of this?) and just had no idea how to want things in a human non-creepy way and seemed to think what she wanted was good in a rational angel way. But Kelly has a ton of confidence all of a sudden, like... a divine purpose, but obviously not :P And suddenly all that stuff about protecting her child? That seemed really sweet and nice when she and Cas were talking person to person before the creepy stuff started? Now she wants to FORCE it on him and give him no choice. She's in the driver's seat in a stolen car, making the demands, and now she's taken choice out of the equation >.>

-

Anyway Kelly really wants a guardian angel but Cas already has his hands full with the bloody Winchesters

hijacking their angel too

-

Cas continues to have his existential crisis and instead of pointing out some legit complaints about being abducted and forced into it, he lists even more of his failures that he's accrued since the LAST time he was listing all of his failures

this is like... the worst day ever for Cas, and he once got stabbed with a thing meant to kill angels by turning them into black foam from the inside out :P

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He betrayed his friends - his FAMILY

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Holy shiiiit Kelly is talking about her PAST and who she was before she was the container for Lucifer's baby what is thiiiis?

*low bar leapt over with style*

-

"I wish I had your faith" "You will" Oh gosh those are creepy lines from her. And tragic ones from Cas. Because he really has no faith any more in anything because he knows that the higher powers are on holiday and the original plan ended 6 years ago and everything since has been a series of over-reacting disasters usually his fault.

-

I am so pleased that the Kelly actress (who I don't even know the NAME of because she's been so insignificant that no one talks about her and presumably so hated she's keeping a low profile) has actually had stuff to do... I hope people weren't predisposed to hate her because she'd done nothing so far and were willing to give her a chance with better writers, because as a salvage job on her character this isn't half bad. She's still doing really irrational stuff but she's by now clearly being manipulated, and her actual moments of character stuff outside of that are actually exploring who she is, what she wants, and how this has changed her, working within the pretty crappy bounds of this story but at least giving the actress stuff to work with and the character some depth.

-

Anyway Dean hates Cas's truck :<

I mean it's symptomatic of this current break up where Cas tried to give the mixtape back and all but

(I split up with my angel boyfriend and all I got in the divorce was this shitty truck)

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elizabethrobertajones OH NO Dean's sympathetic to Cas's pliiiiiiight even while he's piiiisssed "he's so desperate for a win he can't even see straight"

mittensmorgul I KNOW

elizabethrobertajones and that's while being totally furious at him

mittensmorgul SCREAMING FOREVER

elizabethrobertajones and Sam has no idea and Dean's keeping a tally of all the miserable stuff Cas has been through

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Uhoh, the Heaven portal.

Why do I have a feeling this is going to go terribly.

Cas can get a win on HIS terms if he thinks/knows Kelly will be obliterated by doing this (and he asks if she's sure). She thinks she's about to - I have no idea, but survive this and have her baby so SHE'S sure about what SHE thinks this is about.

and will totally not give Cas his win

but he's kind of been manhandled into doing this

so

does it even count even if it WORKED

which it won’t

-

"As long as you're here I know it's going to be okay"

*Cas like ....*

-

Ew why is Joshua this random white bloke

-

Okay so he did die instantly, which would have been shitty if it had been the other guy or ANY black dude as a hasty re-casting (especially as we have no idea how Kelvin is at this point but I'm guessing NOT GOOD) buuut even so :P

I mean it was intentionally meant to be a record scratch end that idea moment that Heaven was really going to be up for much or have any useful sway on this, or that Josha was meant to be anything... But ugh :P Well, on the whole I guess bland white guy getting insta-killed is better than a black dude being pointlessly added to their tally, but Joshua was the last named angel in Heaven, really cool when we actually met him (this doesn't feel like it counts) and definitely always the cool angel we met that day because it's so important in that instance. Like yeah this whole onging existential crisis thing - he was the warning sign of that in 5x16 where Cas lost faith that day because of what he said that confirmed the universe was this badly run, and where we are is now deep in the results of the universe having a god that doesn't care and being a mere 6 years post apocalypse and being run by no one, not even the archangels who'd kept order in the meantime, or the way Joshua had talked to God. And it removes God's last link here except in the main characters and their new stewardship of the earth, their legacy handed to them by God in 11x23...

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Mneh, I liked Joshua from 5x16 though and even it fits with this theme of the season and was MEANT to be disappointing, it is hard to separate what the show does wrong from what it does intentionally to unsettle and upset you :P

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Anyway Dagon doing stuff

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Does Cas still have the Colt on him - was there even time in all the hassle for Dean to get it back?

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Aw Kelvin's dead.

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Pfft yeah Dean took the Colt and so Cas is going into this with basically nothing

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Dagon is revealing how it was aaaall a manipulation, apparently including letting Kelly think Cas was supposed to protect her, even to bring her there.

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"sad fluttering aimless little moth"

Oh she's distracted picking Cas up to shake him around some more. Maybe Kelly will continue stealing things and take Cas's angel blade and stab Dagon :P

This episode has done enough to not make it wasteful or annoying to kill her off, since she's actually been genuinely threatening and terrifying and right now if Kelly kills her it's a real victory

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Nope, the shitty truck shows up just in time because Winchesters always have your back and somehow know where your heaven portal is parked

wAIT

10x17 Sam was here before

I'm really starting to lose track of season 10 and need to get on with that rewatch holy crap that was embarrassing.

-

I mean in an episode ABOUT the sandbox and I even thought about Bobbby earlier when Cas was talking about humans not being able to go through it so he did to talk to Bobby, I mean really come on Lizzy

-

Anyway Sam shoots Dagon pointlessly but enough times to make her drop Cas RIGHT as she was about to dust him, and Dagon was talking ironically about showing up in the nick of time

-

Noooooooooooooooo RIP Colt

I did not see Yellow Eyed Demon kills Colt instead of the other way around

It did not die in slow motion which is even more disappointing

-

Aaaaah Kelly powering up Cas

I sort of feel like she's made him her puppet - that the nephilim has "chosen" Cas because he's a good conduit for the power. This is very very not good and again because control is being taken away from Cas and it seems so creepy, it's not a good thing that he's the guardian. If Kelly's vision was from the nephilim, Cas is now in a very dangerous situation that her baby likes him and wants to use him while it can't use its powers for itself.

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I think it's awesome a YED died by burning up, not going to lie :P

-

Not sure Cas knows what happened

-

OH NO Cas is talking like he knows his purpose in the world in that kind of calm everything's great way

Our Cas is a mess who has no idea wtf he's doing so yeah...

(He did however heal Dean by putting his hand over his arm and catching his thumb under his hand so that's like 10% of hand holding >.>)

Anyway Dean gets to worry about him.

-

"I know now this child has to be born with ALL of his power" ... Yeah that's exactly what Kelly wanted

Oh boy

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"I have faith"

Who are you and what have you done to Cas

-

Which can be an actual literal question on this show :P

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I guess if we're going with the season 6 parallels this is a kind of creepy godstiel thing going on here but he's just a conduit to the power and is slightly off to the side as the guardian angel, though I suspect it's a similar problem >.>

-

LOL we're not going to let you walk away

*boop*

he does Sam first, of course

"??? Don't - "

*boop*

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CHRIST you didn't have to drag the moose skull hanging from Cas's dash OVER SAM that's SO FUCKING RUDE

-

My dad phoned right at this point so that was bad timing :P

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ANYWAY that makes me SO WORRIED about Sam. He keeps being isolated and put in little circles and triangles and I've been dreading the moose skull omen since 12x01 and now it's on top of Sam finally. AAAH.

-

Tbh there's equally scary Dean might die symbolism but the Sam stuff is wigging me out this year :P

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ANYWAY Cas has lost his agency AGAIN to a Lucifer influence AGAIN

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Can't believe Amanda Tapping made Cas leave Dean lying on the floor like... there's rude and then there's RUDE.

(I mean Sam was there too but look there was not 1 dead Sam in that warehouse)

I CAN’T BELIEVE AMANDA TAPPING TOOK CAS’S AGENCY AGAIN 

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Also Sam and Dean lying there pointed away from each other - going different ways.

-

I jokingly wrote to Mittens that Cas is driving off into the future and then remembered that's how Glynn's last episode ended and I suddenly think that script ending was shown to us just to tease us because of the Claire and Cas parallel, only Claire's hopefully going somewhere positive, and Cas... is possibly now an agent of the destruction of the world so that's all great.

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Also Lucifer ended up not being involved again at all and it got so sketchy with Cas I'm now starting to think that the baby probably IS as dangerous as they say it is, Cas was paralleled to Dagon and Dagon at the start had her vision of HER place in the world at the baby's side and that's what it wants from Cas

and also now I'm thinking about the need to destroy fathers on the show and well a little newborn infant fighting Lucifer would be a bit of a joke but it WOULD be cool if nephilim!Cas went and blew up Lucifer as a threat to its power

I'm gonna think about that for a while :P

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Also need to go write in Dean making Cas a mixtape to Terrible Coffee AU