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dickie-gayson · 5 years

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Fun Young Justice Fact!!

I straight up c r i e d during the S1 episode Coldhearted but not for the reason yall think. I've seen MANY discussions and reactions but not ONCE have I seen any love or recognition given to my boi in Coldhearted

THIS IMPORTANT DOCTOR MAN RIGHT HERE. U SEE HIM?? Y'ALL REMEMBER HIM? UR GONNA GET A LESSON ABOUT THIS LOVELY, BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT DOCTOR RIGHT N O W

This doctor (he's the good one, not the goon) isn't named during the show iirc BUT his name is in the credits.

Pieter Cross.

P I E T E R C R O S S

Y'all, Pieter Cross is another dc superhero - one of my favs.

This lovely accented doctor, Pieter Anton Cross, is none other than Doctor Mid-Nite (the second). here's some pics (the first is w his bffl/platonic life partner Michael Holt aka Mister Terrific)

Pieter graduated from Harvard Medical at 19. He's essentially the Hero Community's go-to doctor for everything.

"Doctor Mid-Nite is the world's most prominent superhero doctor. He is often called upon when an autopsy is needed, or when a hero needs major surgery."

Ye, he's had to autopsy his dead friends :( he also does casual checkups. Powergirl goes to him for her check ups and to keep an eye on her powers. He's done a bunch of life-saving surgeries on not only the heroes but ALSO their loved ones! He performed surgery on Lois Lane after she got shot. When Hush removed Catwoman's heart from her body, Doctor Mid-nite and Mister Terrific were able to successfully put it back in and save her.

You not only want him in ur corner when ur hurt, u need him. There's none better! Imagine the sheer amount of crazy powerful allies he has bcus he saves all sorts of heroes and their loved ones! U don't attack the healer unless u wanna get fucked up by the rest of the squad, right? U also don't piss the healer off unless u wanna suffer, right? Same energy, fam. It helps that he can perform surgery flawlessly in the fuckin pitch dark.

He's disabled! In fact, Doctor Mid-Nite is credited as the first disabled superhero in comics! They're talking about Charles McNider, his predecessor, but Pieter Cross is also disabled. He's blind. I won't go into his whole origin but suffice to say he was unwillingly drugged and it caused him to go totally blind except for in the absolute dark.

He can only see in the dark and/or with his specialized lenses iirc. He carries smoke grenades that cause absolute blackness (think vanta black bombs) bcus he can see just fine in it and others can't. Any attack that involves having to see the attack (think Medusa's gaze) doesn't work on him cus he's conventionally blind. HOWEVER when he can see, it's fuckin crazy. Eagles got nothing on how sharp his eyes are in the right setting. Like we're talking super vision.

Those funky lenses on his cowl? They're to let him see in the light. It's kinda like infrared goggles and can let him see ultrasonic as well. Without his tools, he can't see. He got his sight back once and hated it bcus he could no longer work the way he used to.

OTHER FUN FACTS ABOUT THE GREAT DOCTOR

Doctor Mid-Nite has his own website where he provides free medical advice to registered users.

He's Norwegian-born. (That's his accent in that YJ ep)

Him and Mister Terrific are the bestest of friends (I felt the need to reiterate bcus they're Besties for Life. Read 1 comic with them in it and you'll see what I mean)

HE HAS A PET OWL NAMED CHARLIE!! He named him Charlie after the first Doctor Mid-Nite, Charles McNider!! He's trained to aid Pieter in combat! Attack owl!!! Batman has his Robins, Mid-Nite has owl sidekicks!

Highly Skilled Escapologist

He briefly dated Black Canary

His general medical license has been revoked, not that it stops him from practicing and helping ppl. He gives zero fucks. He's here to help, not politick around when ppl are dying.

He never stopped being a doctor, even after becoming a superhero. HE'S A LOVELY, KIND, COMPASSIONATE MAN WHO JUST WANTS TO HELP PPL

He's vegetarian AND he does yoga (imma cry yall, he's so fuckin great)

S1 of Young Justice appears to take place before he gets his powers and becomes Doctor Mid-nite cus he's not wearing any type of glasses. Wally interacted w (imo) one of the greatest heroes and doesn't know it!

Mid-nite is the one everyone says Tim Drake copied with his one Red Robin uniform (it's true too. I wouldn't be surprised if Tim was a Mid-nite fan, they seem like they'd get along)

T H I C C T H I G H S!!! I know everyone talks about Jason's thighs but Pieter's thighs are next level!! I ain't playing! Look at these hams!!

When his mom was pregnant with him, she got attacked. The OG Doctor Mid-nite saved her. Then, when she went into labor, he delivered lil bby Pieter. What are the odds lmaoo

BDE through the roof, fight me. Massive Meat Energy and I won't apologize for saying it

Survived 'seeing' Johnny Sorrow's face even tho it kills legit anyone who looks bcus he's blind. Used the recording his goggles took of JS' face and played it back to Johnny and beat him lmaoo

As someone summarized nicely: 'Prior to him getting blind, Dr. Pieter was a very caring man.. He would take a walk in the evening every day and helps out poor people who live in the streets, especially to those who are addicted to drugs.. He would help out missionaries in donation to help the poor and the hungry.. A Poor People Savior you might say."

"Doctor Cross uses his medical expertise as a hand-to-hand weapon. Once, when challenged to arm wrestle, he won by triggering the proper nerves in his opponent's arm." Savage Nerd Alert. Can, has, and will continue to use his Galaxy Brain (and BDE) to beat ppl, dirty technique or not.

Geoff Johns on Doctor Mid-Nite: "Doctor Mid-Nite is a visionary, figuratively and literally. Blinded by an accident, he’s able to see on all spectrums through the filters on his goggles."

Here's some of him being the Super Doctor:

Helped Alan Scott to determine if he was composed of the Green flame of Starheart

Helped Power Girl to check and test her powers

Saved Hourman's life by performing an emergency surgery

Saved Oracle by removing the Brainiac virus which possessed her body

Saved Lois Lane's Life by removing a sniper bullet after she was shot

Helped Raven to drive the demonic possession that attacked her by using Hologram Tech

I love him and would die for more content about him

Srsly I'll cry if even one(1) person acknowledges him in a YJ fic (or any fic tbh)

APPRECIATE DOCTOR PIETER ANTON 'MID-NITE' CROSS OR P E R I S H

Also if ur writing a YJ fic and have need for a doctor, pls add him. He didn't graduate med school to be ignored, yall. Or add him in just bcus he's rad af. At least do it for Charlie the owl!!

#young justice #Pieter cross #doctor mid-nite #I LOVE HIM YALL #A LOT #AND NOBODY GIVES HIM ANY ATTENTION #LOVE HIM WITH ME #am i gonna have to steer AND populate this 'Loving Doctor Mid-nite' boat myself??

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timetravellingshinigami · 5 years

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Warning! I've Watched The Movie!Endgame Spoilers ahead!!

I'm putting This warning because some of ya'll are mean saying "If you leak spoilers you deserve no rights!" F off!! If you read these spoilers and then get mad you deserve no rights!!!

Endgame review and rant starts from here.... Don't mind it starts out as a rant....

You would think!!!...

reading Endgame spoilers, writing Endgame essays and then watching the movie, would lessen the shock factor. Nah! You wrong af!....I watched the cam version of the movie today and when I saw Thor i was like..

And the worse! thing is he ain't fat because he was depressed. NO! He is fat because The Russos! wanted him to be funny! That was the only purpose for Chubby Thor!

Even in that video i could hear the audience laughing!!!! The little kids found it hilarious and i was sitting here at home and crying!!!!

You could see Thor's pain and anger when Banner said Thanos name but...

The Camera focused on his belly so much like "LOOK AT IT ITS FUNNY!!"

and I'm in floods of tears going "😭😭😭😭😭 NO it's not!!! Leave me alone please! 😭😭😭" It was painful!!! How could that they do this to him!

And he gives a little speech that he's fine and that he has no wish to be involved in helping the Avengers and he tells Rocket and Prof. Hulk to leave...but then Rocket says "there's beer on the ship" and Thor ups and goes with them????? Huuuuuuhhhhh!??????

And then for most of the movie the focus is on his beer belly and making him sound like an idiot!!!

Should Thor be depressed? of course!!! After everything he's gone through of course!! Should he gain weight being depressed? Yes! I GAIN WEIGHT WHEN I'M DEPRESSED!!! Being depressed and using junk food, alcohol, playing games all day will have this effect on you. But is him gaining weight!!! Something to laugh at??? NO!!!!

And Valkyrie???? In Ragnarok she went through the same situation Thor is in now. She was depressed and drowned her sadness in Alcohol. And then Thor came along and gave her her purpose back. Made her realise she can do so much more than wasting away on the Trash Planet.

And now Thor is in the same situation as her and...what? Valkyrie has been helping the Asgardians settle in Tonnsberg while Thor was drinking and eating junk food and worried about cable!!

But you know what Thor was never a dumbass!!! After what happened in the first Thor movie he was everything a good king would be. The reason he didn't want the Throne of Asgard on TDW was because he felt he could protect the nine realms better when he's not sitting on the Throne of Asgard. But when peace reigns he will gladly take care of his people.

What was all that character development in Thor 2011 and Thor: The Dark World and even in shitty Ragnarok all about?!!!! Actually i blame partly Ragnarok for Thor ending up.like this. Ragnarok was what started Thor as a comical character. The Russo just went "Its free real estate" and renovated on it and gave us Chubby Thor who couldn't even speak a complete sentence properly.

And that's not even it, what bothers me is that in the 5 years no one was helping Thor get better. Korg and Meik were pretty much enablers. Looking at things Valkyrie most probably tried to talk to him but he didn't bother to listen. And after a while she let him be hoping he comes out of his grief on his own. But, You know what pre Ragnarok Thor would listen to her. Pre Ragnarok Thor would not hide away and pretend nothing happened! Pre Ragnarok Thor would be grateful that he has people who care about him. He would do his best for the Asgardians he has with him now. Valkyrie and Korg and Miek are his closest people and he has their shoulder to cry on!! Especially Val. She does understand! and the entire time he was shutting himself away from the world, she helps the Asgardians get used to this new place. She also has hopes Thor will heal in time. She hasn't given up hope. I mean when all the Avengers were giving Thor looks of "oh, that is sad", she in the end has confidence in him. The movie never showed her thinking Thor is lesser of a man and king than he was before. She actually hopes for him to finally do right by his people.

What pisses me off is that Thor just goes off onto another adventure leaving Valkyrie with more responsibility than she already has (considering that now the whole human population is back and recovering from the IW events you can guarantee a whole host of problems are going to arise for the Asgardians. Considering how humans are you can bet on that.) The only way I can forgive Thor is if they give us a Thor 4 where he comes back to Earth with the remaining Asgardians (Hulk does say "we can bring them back") and finally decides to do some good for his people. Helps them have a better life, navigating human culture, learning new skills.

The Russos make Thor's grieve look like a joke! LIKE THOR DOESN'T EVEN CARE!!! RESPONSIBILITY??? NOPE THOR DOESN'T KNOW ANY OF THAT! you don't even feel sorry anymore or sympathise with Thor. You just feel ANGRY!! At the Russos and at Thor himself!!

Other things that hurt me...

Tony's death. It hurts just thinking about it! I feel it was unnecessary. There's no need for him to die. The Russos with all their imagination should have given him a happy ending! Natasha's death broke me first! Yeah you're gonna be a weeping mess after this. Steve was...*sigh*!!! It was sad and bittersweet. Did i like that ending for him? Not really 😢

Wanda doesn't get back Vision. Recently Elizabeth Olsen gave hints that the WandaVision series will be set in 1950s. I don't even know how that works out 😐

And Loki!!! You know how we thought he was ooc in Ragnarok? Nah! The Loki we see in Endgames New York 2012 is competing side by side with Ragnarok Loki on who is more ooc . I mean! He actually shape-shifted into Steve to mock him. He waved bye bye at the Hulk!! What??!! And then he just disappears and you're sitting there like "what the hell happen???"

What was good about Endgame?....

The rest of the movie was good. The humour was great when it didn't involve Thor. I'll never get over Scott in ant size sticking his ass out and saying "Flick me" at Tony😂 There were a lot of ass jokes. But it was find. Rocket and Prof. Hulk are my faves.

Thor meeting his mother was very emotional. Since she's a witch she immediately knew he was from the future. She doesn't judge him at all. She's just happy to see him.Their reunion was very sweet. A lot of tears and hugs. 😢In the end Frigga gives him a hug just before he leaves tells him in her sweet motherly voice "eat a salad" 😂😂 The only thing that was irritating here is Thor calling her "mom" 😕

For those who have been asking, there's a reason Thor had to sneak pass Loki 'cause of the time travel thing he can't allow himself to be seen by anyone. And Loki would definitely know this is Thor from the future. That would mess things up a lot.

Thor looked sort of better at the end when he was fighting Thanos. It would seem him summoning his armour, Mjolnier and the lighting also took care of his beard and hair. It's still long but braided 😕 He fought good. He was cool at the end.

Gamora is alive (Gamora from the past entered the 2018 timeline because of Thanos) !! 😄 And Quill is looking for her (He gotta make her fall in love with him all over)

And of course the fighting was epic as is expected. Cap wielding Mjolnier! When everybody showed up through Strange's portal!, Steve's "Avengers Assemble", Tony and Pepper fighting together!!! Wanda!! The Ladies of Marvel!! Captain Marvel!! 10/10(Tbh, Carol does look a little impatient the few times she was in the movie. Like she needed to be somewhere. I guess she has priorities. Other planets to protect. The moment she was sure Earth was safe she was gone.)

Not gonna lie, Endgame is epic and it is brilliant and amazing even with its flaws.

What's interesting is according to the Ancient One, if you move the stones from their proper place in the timeline it would result in a parallel reality being created. And of all the stone only the Space Stone has been moved from its place..by Loki. So that could mean a new alternate reality/universe has been created. And you know what.....That is actually scary. I wonder if the present universe Thor even knows that this other reality even exists where Loki is most probably alive. But even if he knows he wouldn't be able to do anything anyway.

Watching the movie, and seeing everybody fight together side by side, makes me miss Loki. It's like that scene where he takes the Space Stone and vanished sealed his fate somewhat. He's no longer connected to the timeline or universe we know. A new story exists for him. He's completely separated. And He's different now. He's probably still somewhat a villain with no redemption. He was never meant to fight side by side with the Avengers in this universe at least. Who knows how he turns out in the other universe. As matter of fact i wonder how everyone in the other universe turns out.

Looking at things i feel if Loki had been alive after IW, he will never be able to just settle down on Earth. And now Thor is the same too. They will probably just up and leave and travel. 'Cause for Loki especially, he's never going to be able to adjust with humans. The restrictions on him would be huge. I see him as the type who would leave through a hidden portal to other worlds.

I do feel like everybody's story hasn't really ended. Especially for Thor. He calls himself and Quills team as "Asgardians of The Galaxy" and if I'm not wrong there's a comic book of that name. Aside from that he, Quill and the team need to find Gamora and other Asgardians and return to Earth. And there better be a movie for that.

*Insert The Avengers theme song by Alan Silvestri*

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boymeetsweevil · 6 years

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Dead Man Sells no Toes

Grouping: Witch!Reader x ??Namjoon

Word Count: ~5.2k

Summary: Your thoughts have a mind of their own when it comes to the cute delivery human with the mysterious tattoos

Warnings/Themes: SMUT like basically PWP but also where is that plot, sis?, 69, fingering, blowjobs, cunnilingus, mind reading, species-ism? Too many Halloween Town references, Joon with tattoos (lol is that a warning) , its unedited rn

A/N: This is my late af submission for the BTS Smut Club Halloween Smut Fest. Prompt #18 “Please don’t touch the human remains”

You’re grinding up the last of your final case of artificial dried newt when the sound of the crows cawing alerts you to a customer entering your shop. It’s still early, and though you do get customers throughout the day, they’re usually fairly consistent in the times that they come to pick up their orders now that you’ve been open for business for almost 8 months.

“Hello, dear,” a creaky voice greets you.

There’s no visual sign of the body the voice comes from, but that’s not at all unusual and you know exactly who the customer is. It’s the old ghoul who comes in regularly to get a fix for her wrinkles. She’s a couple hundred years old and it’s starting to show on her face, so she comes in without an appearance every time she’s out of product. The unusual part is that you just gave her a fresh batch yesterday; one that’s supposed to last her two weeks. If she’s back and without a form, something is wrong.

Your familiar, Augustus, and his best friend flap down from their resting post on one of the high shelves to sit next to you on their respective perches on the counter. You set the half-ground newt aside and reach out to pet at Gus’ inky black feathers.

“Eudora,” you nod at the air in front of you out of habit, “How can I help you today?”

“I’m sure you can guess, child. It’s your youth elixir,” Eudora says matter-of-factly.

“I figured as much. Did it not work this time? Because I promise you, I used pure Italian imported moonbeams, like I always do.”

“No, no. I dropped it, so I have no idea if your moonbeams are the issue. It’s all over the floor of my kitchen and its reverting the wood back to shoots!”

“Oh,” you breathe. It’s a relief that your recipe is still working, though you know your gifts wouldn’t fail you in such an elementary area. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yes, so I’d like to purchase another batch now.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because I can only ever make so much with the shipments of dead man’s toes I order each time and you clear me out every time you’re in here.”

“Are you telling me you don’t have any toes? Because I can see a carton right behind you! I may be invisible right now, but I still have my eyesight about me.”

“You’re right, I have some left,” you put emphasis on some, “But that’s reserved for other customers’ orders. I can’t use all the toes on just your orders, that’s not fair to the others.”

“I have an anniversary dinner tonight. Isn’t this more important than anyone else’s order?”

You suppress the urge to sigh and roll your eyes. Eudora may be difficult at times, but your youth elixir is ingredient heavy and time intensive and you charge a hefty price for even smaller samples. But thanks to her vanity, she pays for a rather large amount each time. You’re almost certain that you could pay the whole shop’s monthly ley line bill with just the profits from her orders alone. This time, though, your hands really are tied.

“I can’t violate my customers’ privacy by revealing to you what products they’re purchasing, but I can assure you that some of the orders that require the dead man’s toes are quite important.”

Eudora’s quiet for a moment as she contemplates her options.

“Well, what about leftovers? Can’t you do something with that? Make a smaller batch?”

“I could,” Augustus pecks at your long bell sleeve until you stick a hand out so he can hop up your arm and perch on your shoulder. “But it wouldn’t even take a half-century off. I don’t think you’d be happy with that after getting used to the original strength.”

“When’s the next shipment coming in?”

You pick up the parchment that has your list of scheduled delivery dates. Turn it over so that Eudora can see it, though you’re not sure where she’s standing exactly.

“Perfect,” the scroll dents as she sticks her finger on the most recent scheduled delivery. “It’s scheduled for today.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and you realize you don’t have the schedule memorized correctly. A wave of giddiness washes over you and suddenly you need Eudora out of your shop so you can clean up and get things looking presentable.

“I’ll just stop by later today to pick it up. You can do a rush order, can’t you, dear?”

“Eudora, you know I can’t. Potion making really is a delicate process, you can’t rush it even if you buy those new high-tech speed catalysts everyone keeps talking about. If I were to rush your order, you might experience reverse effects.”

“Oh,” she gasps. “Alright, fine. I suppose I can wait. Alan won’t mind seeing my haggard face this one time.”

“Allan loves you face, regardless of whether or not you’ve used the elixir. Besides, you’ve been paired ghouls for centuries longer than you’ve been using my little old mix.”

Eudora scoffs. “Your little old mix is what makes Allan cough up the extra urks to take us to Cauldron Bleu tonight.”

“Then, I suppose you had better go pick a dining robe.”

“Yes, I really should. But I expect a batch double the size next time around, child.”

“As long as you know that’ll cost you twice the amount, Eudora.”

“I don’t care how much it costs as long as I look how I should. I’ll see myself off, now.”

You wave goodbye, knowing she’s not looking, and tell her to have a good day. You receive no response, but you’re expecting as much.

“Is she gone,” you whisper after a while.

Augustus and his friend squawk an affirmative, so you turn around and immediately put the newt you were grinding in the store room. The large sundial on the north wall tells you that you have a little less than an hour to clean up the shop and perhaps put an enchantment on your skin and hair to make you look a little more put together. For professional purposes, you remind yourself. Not to make yourself more pleasing to the delivery man’s eye, of course.

While you’re in the middle of trying to get your broom to sweep the snippets of rat’s hair from the last hair growth cream you’d been experimenting with, the bell rings again. You curse under your breath and wipe your hands on your apron.

“Welcome to Circadian Apothecary, how may I help—oh, its just you. What are you doing here, Jolluck?”

“That’s a great way to greet your friend.” When you stare blankly at her, she rolls her eyes. “You said we’d have lunch today, remember?”

The wet sound of her webbed feet smacking across the floor remind you that you’ll have to mop after you kick her out. She rests her forearms against the countertop, smudging the surface with the thin, clear mucus that coats her scales when she leaves water for longer than a few minutes. You’ll have to clean that too.

“Can we please take a rain check? Or maybe we could get dinner. I just…I have a delivery coming.”

“Oh! With the human! I’m sticking around. I wanna see him.” “Jolluck!”

“What? Is that not what he is?”

“You don’t know his background.”

“You’ve smelled him right? If it smells like a human and it looks like a human and it walks like a human, it’s a human.”

“If he’s human, how did he cross the veil, huh?”

“Humans cross all the time.”

“Only when they’re screwing vampires, though!”

“Or werewolves,” she points a webbed finger at you.

“True,” you purse your lips. “Either way, you can’t be here. It’ll be weird if you stare at him.”

“You just wanna keep him for yourself. I heard he’s not bad-looking for a flesh puppet.” She grins and swipes her tongue across her fangs playfully.

“Jolluck, seriously, you can’t think about him like that if you want to be here. That’s so offensive.”

She raises her hands in surrender. “Sorry, when did you become such a fan of humans?”

“I’m not a fan, I just…think they’ve changed a lot since the pitchfork days.”

“You’re just saying that because you went to their realm for schooling. Why did you do that again?”

“I swear I’ve told you this, like, 20 times. I think they have a really interesting way of understanding the elements.”

“I heard they’re kind of wrong, though.”

“No, they are. But they raise some interesting issues. And they have some really nice stories and their view of history is so funny. They don’t realize half of their royalty were just warring Goblin tribes that got a little land hungry.”

Jolluck’s eyes widen and she lets out a laugh. “How could anyone not know that? That’s so sad, they’re such simple creatures.”

“Yeah, well, they’re still not as bad as anyone here makes them out to be. And I think you and the rest of town hall needs to stop crowding Namjoon.”

“Fine. But don’t let him know you’re so smitten with him. He’ll try and burn you at the stake or something.”

“I told you, they don’t do that anymore. Oh shit!” You spy him out the corner of your eye, wheeling the cart full of your new inventory towards the front door. “Don’t say anything stupid, okay?”

You say a few words, an unnecessarily powerful hex, and the air crackles around your heads. A sudden gust of what seems like wind runs through the shop before circling back and passing through you roughly. When it clears everything is glistening likes it’s just been freshly scrubbed, but you’re instantly weak and visibly paler.

“Are you crazy?” Jolluck runs to your side, her wet footsteps evaporating off the wooden floors like she never stepped there. “All this for a human male?”

“Look, you can see your reflection in the countertops,” you smile dizzily at her.

Namjoon stands politely in front of the glass, waiting for the shop’s magic to acknowledge you of his presence. Seconds later the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, though you know he’s there because you can see him. With a feeble flick of your wrist, the door opens. He rests his open palm on the doorjamb as is customary and pulls the dolly laden with goods behind him.

“Morning,” he greets, with his back turned to you so he can set the boxes on the ground. His bare arms flex as they work to keep the glass jars inside from jostling. The tattoos running from wrist to shoulder are a web of black lines of varying weights. They suit him.

“Hi there.”

He turns quickly at the sound of Jolluck’s voice and notices that she’s holding you up like she’s carrying your dead weight because she is.

“Hi, I’m Namjoon,” he takes a few hesitant steps forward until he can make out the swirling pattern of Jolluck’s scales. He gestures towards you. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. She was just biting off more than she can chew and now she’s half dead. Isn’t that right?”

“Shut up,” you mutter.

You manage to prop yourself up on the counter so you can look up at Namjoon. A large, sleepy smile parts your lips as you take in his adorable dimple and plush lips. He really is very nice-looking, regardless of what the townspeople say. You don’t even mind his smell that much.

His cheeks flush and he bites down on his lip, grinning at his shoes.

“Are you okay to check the inventory and sign off?”

“Hmm, yeah. I just need a drink. Jolly, can you get me a drink?”

She huffs, but brushes past the heavy velvet curtain to find a bottled energizer somewhere in the back of the store room. She returns moments later with a little glass flask that’s stopped with a cork. Which would be fine if you had some strength in your arms, but you’re still very much 80% noodle.

“Namjoon, you can open this, right?”

“Sure,” he smiles and takes the jar from you. His hands are oddly soft for someone whose job consists of heavy lifting and sorting through tons of perilous ingredients to sell to people like you.

Your head lolls to rest on your shoulder and you wonder briefly what his hands would feel like against the skin of your waist or your arms or your inner thighs. He chokes a little and nearly drops the vial but manages to snap it out of the air before it can shatter.

He gives it back to you wordlessly and wipes his now sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants.

“So, what do you have for me?”

“Just the usual shipment.”

“I know, but maybe you can, uh, read it out loud for me. Jog my memory?” You’re being over the top, you know it. But you really like his voice, too. Everything about him is just so…nice.

“Alright. The first thing on the list is standard toadstools, a grade and rehydrated.”

“Hand-picked?” You take a shot of the energizer.

“By yours truly.”

“Nice,” is all you say as you eye his hands once more.

Jolluck leans over to hiss into your ear. “This is disgusting and I’m starving. When are we doing lunch?” “When he stops telling me everything I ordered,” you hiss right back out of the corner of your mouth. “What else is there?”

“There’s more lilac, sage, thyme, and wolf’s bane. Those are all local except for the sage. But I got you a good deal at the market.”

“How nice of you.”

As he lists the other supplies he brought with him, you take the time to nurse your bright green energizer and look Namjoon over some more.

Perhaps you spent too much time in the human realm, but you really do think he’s loads better than that daemon boy Yoongi, who breezes through the shop every so often to show off his solid gold watch collection. Namjoon is tall and nice, and always has a pretty blush around you. You don’t even mind the way he smells, it’s actually not as bad as you remembered during your time at human college.

“Sorry about not bringing the dead man’s toes. I guess the graveyards were a little empty this week. But that’s everything, I think,” he says with finality, folding his list and shoving it in his back pocket. He begins deconstructing the rolling cart he took with him, now that it’s no longer in use with the boxes having been unloaded onto the ground.

“Oh.”

You can’t help but be disappointed that your time with him is ending so soon. And right when you got your strength back, if the tickling hum running through your veins is any indication of the energizer’s effect. So much energy is coursing through you that some magic starts to spark out of your fingers. You quickly hide your hands behind you back, not wanting him to see the sparks and think you’re some young witch with no control over her magic. Although, wiping yourself of nearly all your energy moments before he arrived just to clean the shop sounds like something you might have also done when you were a mere teen.

Jolluck emerges from the stairs in the back that lead to your apartment on the second floor. “Your cabinets are all empty. And your fridge. I’m going shopping.” She waves something that looks suspiciously like your wallet, the urks in it jingle mockingly.

A thought pops into your head, so you decide to just run with it.

“N-namjoon, do you think you could stick around? I’m still feeling kind of shaky and Jolluck is heading to the southern market.”

“The southern market? Why would I go there when I could just go to the one by the Elder woods?”

“Just go,” you give her a smile of mostly bared teeth. You turn to Namjoon again, once Jolluck is out the door. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t mind. Where should I put them?”

“In the back. I’ll show you.”

You wait for him to pick up the first box, relishing in the way the muscles in his back bunch and coil as he hefts it up into his arms with a soft grunt. He follows behind you quietly while you lead the way.

“Wow.” He takes in the rows and rows of shelves behind the curtain. Each one packed full with various ingredients or preserved things for rituals that are shelf-stable. “You’re no joke.”

“Guess you could say that,” you lean against a wall and watch him open the box. “I was the top of my classes.”

“In witching school?”

“And at a human college?”

“Really,” he stops to peer down at you. “So, you don’t mind humans, then?”

“Not anymore than I mind the folks here. They both have their ups and downs.”

“And I suppose you’ve heard what everyone’s had to say about me?”

He holds up two jars of pickles hooves, unsure of where to put them. You push yourself off the wall and take them from him. He follows behind once again to move the box, and hand you each jar as you stack them on the appropriate shelf.

“I mean, people definitely like to talk to me about you.”

“About my being a human?”

“Yeah, sort of. But probably more because you’re human. People think I love all things human just because I went to school with them.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“About humans?”

“About me.”

Before you can stop yourself, your tongue sticks out playfully between your teeth. “You really wanna know?”

“I do,” he smiles down at you, another jar in hand.

With a crooked finger, you beckon him closer and he moves in with head cocked to the side. You lean in close enough that your lips just barely graze the shell of his ear. He shivers.

“I don’t think you’re really human,” you whisper before grasping the jar and tugging, but it doesn’t budge.

Namjoon stares down at you, wide eyed, before snapping out of his surprise and tugging the jar back, bringing you stumbling with it.

“How’d you know,” he says back in an equally hushed voice.

“What’s that saying you guys have? The nose knows?”

“It was because of my smell? Seriously?”

“What can I say? I spent a lot of time with humans while I was at school with them. I know that smell anywhere. And you do smell like them, but…you also don’t.”

“How do you know it’s not just because I spend a lot of time fae people?”

“Is that why?”

“No,” he grins. You swear it must be a trick of the light, but his eyes flash unnaturally for a second. “My dad was human, but his dad was a seer and my mom was a quarter elf.”

“I knew it. You smell too much like silver to be a human. Not enough copper in you.”

“Congrats on guessing right.”

“Can you do any magic? I know it tends to be weaker when it’s not matrilineal, but genes are funny things.”

“I can’t do much outward production. Mostly just life-force projection, see?”

He pushes up the sleeve of his T-shirt and flexes his bicep, bringing the tattoos into focus. You realize upon closer inspection that they’re moving now. The lines weave together in a periodic fashion, an organic rhythm. Like the tides or another being’s pulse. He pulls up the hem of his shirt to reveal that the tattoos continue down his flanks and spread onto the ridges of his otherwise flat abdomen. Your hand itches to reach out and traces the lines. Would you feel his life-forces thrumming under your finger? Would yours expel to meet his? Were they even compatible enough to do that? You hoped so.

“Wow.”

“I can also um,” he trails off.

“You can also what? You can tell me. Is it embarrassing?”

“Not for me,” he smirks. When you squint out of confusion, his cheeks color and he looks down at the ground. “I have level 2 telepathy.”

“Oh. That’s cool. Why is that embarrassing?”

“I mean, it’s not embarrassing for me. But it sometimes is for other people. Since it’s combination mirrored and tactile telepathy.”

You choke on an inhale and get sent into a coughing fit when you realize that Namjoon can feel your thoughts about him on his skin. It’s probably a side effect of the tattoos he has, so it’s probably not super strong, but it still means that every time you made eye contact with him and thought about how broad his shoulders looked, he felt it in his shoulders. All those times you’d lusted after him while he brought in your orders, he’d felt them.

“I am so sorry,” you gasp with tears of embarrassment pricking at the corners of your eyes. “Had I known, I would have never, ever asked you to stick around so much. I hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable. For what its worth, I am truly sorry.”

“It’s really fine. It’s a lot better than what everyone else was thinking when they thought a human had managed to infiltrate town to burn everything to the ground.”

“But still! You shouldn’t have to endure either of those. You could have sent your friend drop things off, I wouldn’t have gotten offended. I just… I don’t know what else to say.”

“It’s really fine.”

“How could it be fine?”

“Because I wasn’t bothered by it,” he admits with a soft smile.

Silently, he takes your hand and places it just millimeters above his forearm. Your life-force, a pale yellow liquid fire, crackles up on the edges of your skin and tangles with his own syrupy black one. A phenomenon that occurs when life force resonance frequencies are compatible.

“Shit.” “Yeah,” he parrots back quietly. “Shit.”

You take a chance and hurl yourself at him. The force takes him by surprise and you manage to knock him onto the floor, barely missing the box containing precious jars of dead man’s toes. But you don’t care because his instantly come to skate up your arms, down your back, to cup your butt. He squeezes appreciatively and lets out a low groan when you reward him with wet, open-mouthed kisses down the column of his neck.

His hands find their way underneath your uniform tunic and press brands into your skin. You keep kissing the parts of his face in a disorganized fashion. First his chin, then his clavicle, then the deep dimple in his cheek, and finally the corner of his mouth. He turns and captures your lips with his own, startling you into submission. At first, he explores the landscape of your mouth with fervent presses and caresses, but eventually he grows curious enough to probe. His tongue sneaks out to lick at the seam of your lips and you open up for him immediately, air from your pants puffing out in between you.

The feeling of his tongue sliding lazily against the tip of yours, dancing along the tender inside of your lip, has you clenching in vain. You move unconsciously so his thigh slots in between yours and begin to rock your hips against him, hoping for a bit of friction.

He chuckles against your mouth before pulling away from a soft, slick sound. “In a hurry?”

“Yeah. I want you to fuck me. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

He curses when his hands finally meet the globes of your breasts. They’re free in the loose material of your tunic and they make for a pleasant weight in his large hands. His thumbs come out to swipe a finely mirrored pattern over your nipples. When you respond with a high whine, he twists them roughly. Almost as if he has control over them, your hips snap against him. Your writhing over him eggs on the growing erection in his trousers, which you can feel nudging your pelvis with every inward thrust.

Your life force is excited enough from the amorous activity that its flowing steadily around your limbs like a ribbon satellite. You ignoring the way thick globules of Namjoon’s life force start to raise from the tattoos to trade spots with some of your own fiery energy. You read about what that means once, but now you couldn’t give two shits about whatever class notes you internalized from school.

“Namjoon, touch me,” you whine when the beginnings of your arousal start to soak your underwear.

“I thought I was touching you.”

You roll your eyes and redirect one of the hands that been rolling your breasts down into your pants. He hisses at the sticky coating that drenches his fingers the moment you pulled your underwear to the side for him. He crooks two fingers and traces your hole as best he can with his wrist turned awkwardly. You shift until your heat sucks him in and begin to grind your clit against him. His other hand snakes around to grab at your ass semi-roughly.

“That’s right. Get yourself off on my hand.”

“I don’t want to cum like this,” you pant against his neck.

“How do you want to cum?”

“On your tongue,” you admit. You’re glad he can’t see how hot your face got, but you let out a yelp when he shifts his palm even closer to your heat.

“I like that idea. Get up here.”

You scrabble onto your knees above him and slip out of your clothes as best you can without kneeing him anywhere important. As soon as you’re bare, his hands land on your hips and tug you until you get the hint and shuffle forward until you’re almost seated over his chin.

“You smell good,” he says with a deep inhale. He stretches his neck out and presses an open kiss to your clit, making sure to suck as he pulls away, bringing moisture with him. He licks his lips clean before doing it again and again until you’re shaking and have to brace yourself by leaning forward on your hands.

Finally, he pushes down on your hips, motioning you to sit on his face properly. The moment that you do, the flat of his tongue comes out to collect the dew and undulate against you in broad strokes. When he reaches your entrance he dips in shallowly, collecting more of your arousal, and then repeating. During the first few swipes of his tongue, you try to be courteous of his neck and face, try not to overwhelm him. But once he starts slurping obscenely, your hips move on their own accord. You grind yourself sinuously on his tongue, moaning without any restriction.

When he adds a thumb into the mix, rubbing at your clit, so he can attempt to fuck into you with his tongue. Your head drops forward and you notice that Namjoon is still wearing all of his clothes. You decide this won’t do and put your weight on one hand so you can undo his trousers with the other. It’s a little fumbly and it takes a few tries, but you manage to not only loosen his pants but also push them and his underwear down far enough that his erection can swing forward. You swipe away at clouds of his life force that are happily bumbling around your hand and stroke the length of his shaft. He’s not expecting the sudden touch and jumps, bumping you a little bit.

You spit into your palm before going back into to stroke him in earnest. Its doesn’t take long for your arm to get tired trying to jerk him off from your far away position. You try to inch forward without moving out reach of his mouth.

“Why are you moving away,” he mumbles against your inner thigh.

You don’t answer at first, so he sucks a teasing hickey on the sensitive skin there, causing you to nearly topple over face-first onto his lower stomach.

“You’ll see why. Just be patient.”

Soon you’re hovering over his pelvis and readjust your lower body so that you’re still positioned over Namjoon’s mouth. He tries to peer up curiously but the feeling of your mouth engulfing him instantly clues him in to what you’re doing.

“Fuck,” he groans at the feeling of you bobbing the warm, wetness of your mouth over his length.

The tip of your tongue nudges at his slit and his eyes roll into the back of his head. Before he gets too caught up in the feeling of you caressing the bottom part of his slick shaft, he returns to your center. He starts licking back into you with a vengeance, almost like he’s competing with you. His head moves up and down with the added force his lips parting your petal-soft folds. Your clit is still trapped in the loop of constant figure eights that he skates over the nub. You whine around him and the vibrations wring a moan out of him.

He senses that you’re losing the battle with your orgasm. The way your thigh’s tremble on either side of his head clues him in as well. He pulls back briefly and you hum around him from above.

“Ride my face,” is all he says before gripping your thighs and pressing you tightly against him. He flexes the body of his tongue before shaking his head back and forth against your clit.

The direct stimulation short circuits your brain and you nearly forget to keep jerking him off while the quakes of your high take over your body. Short, choked breaths leave you as you climax, dripping onto his tongue and the lower half of his face. Part of you bemoans the fact that you won’t see his face when he cums, so you soldier on as best you can and redouble your efforts to make him feel good as well.

Almost like a feedback mechanism, your indecent thoughts coupled with the actual onslaught of your mouth have him giving you all he still can until you sneak up on him with a well-timed deep swallow as he thrusts up into your throat and just the right amount of pressure near his perineum. His body goes rigid as he spills into your mouth, and you bob your head to milk him of every last drop. Even after muscles in his thighs stop rippling, you suckle lightly at the tip to clean him up, and he squirms under you out of sensitivity. “Please don’t touch the human remains,” he drones with closed eyes, feigning death by blowjob.

“Oh, stop it,” you drum your fingers against his abdomen. “You’re not even human.”

“Not completely.”

“At least you’re not dead.”

“No, I think I am. I think you swallowed my soul.”

“Well, if you’re really dead, can I borrow your toes?”

#btssmutclub #bangtan bookclub #networkbangtan #bscproject #btswriters #bttnetwork #hyunglinenetwork #bts smut #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfction #bangtan fanfic #bangtan scenarios #namjoon fanfic #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #kim namjoon

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fuckyeahhistory · 5 years

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OK I know what you’re thinking. Why is the 1533 Buggery Act such a big deal! After all, it’s a piece of Tudor law:

A) that sounds dry AF

B) has nothing to do with me!

Well, if you care about LGBTQ+ rights (or let’s be blunt, basic human rights) than this is a piece of Tudor law that you have to know about!

The 1533 Buggery Act wove a tangled web that stretches throughout history. Beyond those who were caught up in its immediate wake, It’s threads lead us to Oscar Wilde’s imprisonment, Alan Turing’s conviction and the abysmal pit where fundamental rights should be, that the LGBTQ+ community and their allies are still fighting against.

So if that still sounds dry AF, then strap in Donald, because you’re about to get your mind blown.

Seriously we’re getting into world view changing stuff!

The Buggery Act was the brainchild of Henry VIII who had a fun habit of lumbering the UK with laws that came out of him wanting to make a point during a hissy fit…yet inexplicably stuck around for hundreds of years at a major human cost (e.g that time he made it legal to execute someone with severe mental health issues) The 1533 Buggery Act was no exception!

But lets take it back to pre-Henry for a second. Prior to 1533 there were no set laws to persecute homosexuality in England. That’s not to say it wasn’t. In the 13th century two legal codes called for men caught having same sex relationships to be buried alive or burnt, which is horrific!

However, these were suggestions, not actual laws and there is no evidence that these punishments were ever carried out. For the most part, the then frowned upon act was dealt with in the ecclesiastic courts (so basically it was left with god and his earthly servants to deal with either after death or in the realm of the church)

As such, the sudden decision to make homosexuality criminal was a big deal. In fact it was such a big deal that this sharp turn to criminalisation actually had to be addressed in the original statues outlining the 1533 act. Which says that the law was in part created to make homosexuality clearly punishable, saying:

“For as moche as there is not yet sufficient & condigne punishment appointed & limitted by the due course of the lawes of this realme for the detestable & abominable vice of buggeri committed with mankind or beest.”

It goes on to explain the possible punishments for those caught committing ‘buggery’:

“And that the offenders being herof convict by verdicte, confession, or outlaurie, shall suffer suche peynes of dethe, and losses, and penalties of their goodes, cattals, dettes, londes, tenements, and heredytamentes, as felons benne accustomed to do accordynge to the order of the common lawes of this realme. And that no person offendynge in any suche offence, shalbe admitted to his clergye”

Obviously the clear biggy here is ‘pain of death’, but right at the bottom of this portion of transcript there’s the sentence:

‘And that no person offending in such offence shall be admitted to his clergy’ – that right there is the crux of this whole piece of legislation.

Because why create The Buggery Act and criminalise same sex relationships at this particular moment in time?

To persecute the Catholic Church of course!

If you’re thinking , ‘that makes little to no sense’, gold star! It doesn’t… well at least until you break down what was going down in 1533.

You see, until the 1530’s England had been part of the Catholic Church. But, Henry VIII was desperate to break away from the church as it wouldn’t grant him a divorce so he could marry his side chick, Anne Boleyn. So Henry decided to create a new church for England, one that he’d be the head of (and wouldn’t you know it, the head of this new church just happened to be A-ok with divorce).

Sadly creating your own church doesn’t magically erase your countries already existing, centuries old religion overnight. So Henry worked with his right hand man, Thomas Cromwell, to loosen the tight hold Catholicism had on England and for a double win, also siphon it’s money to Henry.

The 1533 Buggery Act was just part of this plan. It was solely designed to take away a little bit of the power away from The Catholic Church, not to actually persecute homosexuality.

And yet this law was about to take its first victim.

By 1540 the Buggery Act had done its job. The Catholic Churches hold on England had been loosened, Henry had married Anne Boleyn (and then had her executed), married again (this time she’d died in childbirth) and was onto marriage number four. Thomas Cromwell had played Cupid for these nuptials, hooking Henry up with his new wife, Anne of Cleves. Sadly Henry wasn’t a fan of his new bride and this was such a big no no that it led to Thomas Cromwell’s death.

But as is probably clear by now, Henry was a petty bitch, and so he made sure that when Thomas went down, he wasn’t going alone.

On the 29 June 1540 Thomas Cromwell was beheaded for treason and his mate, Walter Hungerford, became the first person to be executed under The Buggery Act (among other allegations).

A bloody punishment, with the Buggery Act added as an extra dollop of humiliation for Hungerford and as an additional middle finger to Cromwell who’d helped create the act.*

*side note: before we start feeling really sorry for Walter Hungerford, he was an abusive man who imprisoned his wife to the extent she had to drink her own urine to survive. So you know. Maybe hold the sympathy cards.

Henry VIII

Thomas Cromwell

Ok, that was A LOT to take in. So let’s pause and take a quick moment to look at where we are:

We have a law that was created to criminalise homosexuality BUT was actually used to screw over the Catholic Church

We have a first victim of the law…BUT he was most likely executed not because of the law itself but as an F U to his mate who created the law.

So, we can all agree that thus far, The Buggery Act is a very bloody farce. But that does that mean it’s done?

OF COURSE NOT!

Though the law was repealed by Henry VIII’s daughter, Queen Mary I in 1553 (who wanted power over this to go back to the Catholic Church and it’s ecclesiastic courts), once she died, her successor and sister, Queen Elizabeth I made the Buggery Act law once more.

And from there it started to truly transform into a law for persecution.

Using a Latrice Royale gif to cut the tension, but just a warning: It’s about to get really dark for a bit.

For much of the 15th and 16th centuries arrests and executions under the Buggery Act were few and far between. However, that didn’t happen stop this horrifying law from spreading.

One of the huge issues of The Buggery Act being a law, was that Britons leaving the country took it with them. Take for example those plucky puritans who set sail for the brave new world of America – alongside terrible hats and a smattering of racism, they made sure to also pack legal persecution!

And so the legal execution of people for homosexuality began in a new country. In 1624, Virginia hung Richard Cornish, a ships captain, for ‘forcible sodomy’ of his ships 29 year old cabin boy.

Two years later, Massachusetts hung William Plain on allegations of sodomy that took place in England (so before he even moved to America!).

That same year, the countries New Netherlands colony successfully managed to achieve the discrimination trifecta when they used the Buggery Act to strangle and ‘burn to ashes’, Jan Creoli, a poor black gay man.

If you thought things were bad, they are about to get even worse.

Back in Britain, a more vocal queer community was starting to appear, thanks to the underground popularity of Molly Houses (places where queer men could be free to openly show their sexuality, kind of the great great great grandfather of the small town gay bar). But this emerging light in the dark attracted the worst kind of people and they dedicated themselves to eradicating what they saw as the gay scourge.

One such group was the catchily named, The Society For The Reformation of Manners. Determined to rid London of its LGBT subculture, they worked undercover to infiltrate Molly Houses, gather evidence against its users and then together with the police, raid them.

One such raid was that of Mother Claps house in 1726. Dozens of men were rounded up and arrested, with several fined and pilloried. But that’s not the worst of it.

The Society For The Reformation of Manners successfully helped to leverage the Buggery Act to hang three of the arrested men for the crime of having sex, or as one witness spat out during the trial:

‘Making love to one another as they call’d it’

Example of an execution, like that of the Mother Clap House victims. from the era

During the 1800’s the executions continued. Trials for men accused under The Buggery Act sprung up across England. Some of those found guilty had the relative luck (though the chance of survival still wasn’t great) at instead being transported to Australia, but others weren’t so lucky.

The last men executed under The Buggery Act were James Pratt and John Smith, in 1835.

A husband and father, James Pratt, met with John Smith in August 1935, at an ale house in London for a drink. The pair then got chatting with an older man, William Bonill and went back to his rooms.

William Bonill soon left to get another drink at the pub, leaving James and John alone. It was after this that Bonill’s landlord reported finding the pair having sex.

Neither James Pratt or John Smith stood a chance in court. If you are in any doubt on that front, just read the opening transcript from John Smith’s prosecutor.

‘feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and against the order of nature, had a venereal affair with one James Pratt, and did then and there, feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and agains the order of nature, carnally know the said James Pratt, and with him the said James Pratt did then and there feloniously, wickedly, diabolically, and against the order of nature, commit and perpetrate the detestale, horrid, and abominable crime (among Christians not to be named) called buggery, to the great displeasure of Almighty God, to the great scandal of all human kind’

Charles Dickens actually attended Newgate jail, when the men were awaiting sentencing and recalled:

‘Their doom was sealed; no plea could be urged in extenuation of their crime, and they well knew that for them there was no hope in this world.’

He was, of course, right. Of seventeen others sentenced to death at the same time as John and James (for crimes including attempted murder) all had their sentences commuted to transportation to Australia. All expect John Smith and James Pratt.

A huge crowd gathered outside Newgate Jail to watch their deaths.

Watching his (possible) partner, John Smith, being blindfolded and his noose put on, caused James Pratt an understandable level of anguish. He reportedly went physically weak, needing help just to stand and calling out:

‘Oh God, this is horrible. This is indeed horrible.’

Though we don’t have clean cut evidence that the two were in a relationship, it’s hard to read this as anything other than love and the devastation of James knowing what his partner was about to go through.

Which I think summarises the pointlessness and brutality the Buggery Act had on all those who feel under its wake. Of it’s last two victims; two men who just wanted a private moment to be together and died because of that.

Newspaper from the hanging of James Pratt and John Smith

The Buggery Act remained in place in one form or another until 1861 when the Offences Against The Person Act replaced it.

The new law abolished the death sentence for ‘buggery’, instead punishing those convicted with a prison sentence of up to life. In 1967 the laws around homosexuality as an illegal act were dropped.

All of this, because in 1533 a pissed of King set up a law that he hoped would bring down a religion – the persecution of thousands if not millions, was just secondary.

If you want to read up more on this and other areas of LGBT+ history (and please do!) some great sources are below:

Rictor Norton, for a treasure trove of articles and essays on the history of LGBTQ+ history in England dating back to the medieval era.

The Peter Tatchall Foundation, a human rights charity with an amazing section of history of laws that sought to persecute

The British Library, where you can look at so many of the original documents I mention in this, digitally wherever you are in the world!

Why you have to know about the 1533 Buggery Act OK I know what you’re thinking. Why is the 1533 Buggery Act such a big deal! After all, it’s a piece of Tudor law:

#featured #LGBT #LGBTQ #tudor

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dance10jennas · 6 years

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Tour Experience: San Jose, CA

Alright!! here we go. So getting to tour was an experience lmfao. I feel like every time I write one of these review posts I'm always talking about a hellish drive. Its been raining non stop here and the weather app said it was going to be clear. WRONG, it POURED as I was trying to leave school and rained the entire way there. Made it to the venue and struggled to find parking for a good 20 minutes. I ended up on the phone with my mom who was also struggling to find parking to realize that she was in the car right in front of me!

We figured the parking out, get to the venue and my mom is like “we need wine..where’s the bar?” SO we got our wine, got to our seats (which were better than expected!) right as the show was about to start.

EDIT: Omg in the stress of trying to get into the parking garage I somehow managed to leave my drivers side window rolled ALL THE WAY DOWN!!!! thankfully we were in a private garage so nothing got stolen but the entire way back to my parents house I was just like “I hope my stuff is still in my trunk”

I’m copying Jasmine and going person by person because it seems like the easiest way to do this.

I’m gonna start with the ladies on this fine International Women’s Day

Hayley: I love when she is partnered with Alan and Brandon. Their numbers together were lovely, Especially the contemporary with Brandon. Beautiful lifts. She is truly a stunning contemporary dancer. I love the moments she shares on stage with Britt, love those cute besties.

Witney: I am so glad she decided to come back for this tour! I got to see her the first two tours they did and she definitely brings some killer energy to the tour. The AT with Alan was EPIC, as well as her numbers with Artem.

Emma: Emma Slater is one of those people that truly brighten up a room. Personality for days, funny af! She brings so much to the stage and she’s another one of those dancers that is just so much better live. Bossa Nova Killed me, Elvis Emma is a gem.

Britt: I was excited to finally see her live and I was expecting to be impressed...GIRL DEFINITELY DELIVERED! I was so so so impressed with her stage presence and her power. She is SO fun to watch. You Say was phenomenal as well as her rumba with Artem and her number with Alan. Pretty much anything she was in, my eyes were drawn to her.

Jenna: Where to begin... Jenna Johnson is THAT dancer. You cannot look away when she is onstage. SHOOK through every single one of her numbers. LOLA?! are you kidding me? living for it. Girl Crush and LOTB ugh you can feel the love between those two. My mom didn’t take any pics of the show until she saw them coming down the stairs and have that little beginning moment.. that sent her scrambling for her phone to get some shots. She SHINED in You Say, you really feel the emotion when she performs. Mama and I cheered out faces off for that queen. It’s what she deserves.

Now the guys

Sasha: I thoroughly enjoyed Sasha on tour! He brings so much energy and fun to the show. His technique is incredible. I absolutely DIED at him running out after the flag number and flapping his little red flag at Val lmfao. The number with Jen seems so much faster live! it was INSANE, the crowd was loving it!

Brandon: BRANDON! I am so so thrilled he was on this tour. The workout number omfg. He was such a standout in his contemporary with Hayley, and obviously in Lola.

Gleb: Lol the ladies were right about Gleb being very into the numbers. Feeling Good was one of my favs, (and how incredible do those ladies look in that green 😍). His country contemporary with Witney was stunning, and obviously the bromance with Artem stole the show lol.

Alan: Alan is another fun one to watch, I loved his hosting bit with Emma. He’s so high energy. Like I said earlier the AT with Wit was fantastic, his number with Britt, New Dorp New York, riding out on the stick horse lmfao.

Artem: The way that man moves his body.....I CANNOT. He is literally velvet, the smoothest ever. There isn’t much else to say. My mom and I were living our best lives to say the very least. Flag number (for all the men...whew) , Another One Bites the Dust, and the foxtrot with Jenna are all standout numbers.

Val: Val is truly the dancer that you cannot take your eyes off of. His love for dance is obvious when you watch him perform. He just brings something so special to the tour that was missing last time around. Him and Jenna match each other so well, and aside from the magic that was Girl Crush and LOTB (seriously those lifts tho!!!), his energy in Boy from NYC was off the charts. Such a fun number to watch!

Joe: Who would have thought week one that Grocery Store Joe would have been the celeb to do the most stops on tour lmfao. I’m really glad that Joe was the one to fill in for JP so I got to witness the Joe/Val bromance first hand lol

So there it was, I thoroughly enjoyed the tour and out of all the tours I've been to (all but Hot Summer Nights) this one was by far the best!

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winedownwithcoffee · 6 years

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DWTS Season 27 TRIO WEEK Trashy Thoughts

Whew this season is a cluster and I LOVE IT. Unpredictable my friends. Keeping us on our toes. I am going to make and insert my favorite gifs from each dance too

Opening: Cute little opener. Not much to say about it lol

JP & Cheryl+Melissa Rycroft: He got a ROUGH package, which is very interesting to me…Very interesting. I hate this dance. Everything about it. The music styling, all of it. He can move his hips. That is about it. This is a whole as mess. At least she added a couple of cha cha steps? But this is trash and I hate it. All of it. A whole ass posing trash mess. I actually agreed with CAI for the first time, I canNOT connect with him. At all. 8-8-8 shoulda had a 7 IMO

Tinashe & Brandon+Amy Purdy: Amy & Tinashe should have had DIFFERENT colors. They straight up SAID the best dancers don’t last AND high scores don’t keep you there. WE ALLLLLLLLLLL should have seen it coming tbh. I honestly didn’t hate this dance, but Amy messed up a few points and also I hate Brandon’s facials something fierce… It was forgettable. Plain and simple. 9-8-9 would have said 8.5. It was fine but like I just don’t really remember it until now that I have rewatched it.

John & Emma+ Joey Fatone: I. LOVE. JOEY. I adore him. I adore her costuming. If her hair hadn’t gotten stuck it would have been amazing at the beginning. I actually REALLY enjoyed this dance. Like a lot. And the music was STUNNING. I didn’t expect to like John as much as I do this season. And I can’t with Joey’s makeup. KILLING me lmaooooo I skipped through the judges because I am over it lol I liked it and him with the judges kills me. 7-7-7 and I agree

MALE.PRO.BUMPER. IS EVERYTHING MY THOT ASS NEEDED LAST NIGHT. WHEW GOD SHINED DOWN ON US LAST NIGHT LADIES. Though my hoe ass wishes they were shirtless. Also obviously Artem and Val don’t hate hate each other

Evanna & Keo+ Scarlett Brynne: I still don’t understand why these RANDOM ASS PEOPLE are in these fuckin trios man. Why?? I hate it. It’s crap and dumb. She kept up overall. Keo overdanced her again though. I watch him more than her sometimes because he is more dynamic. Scarlett missed steps. Also she kinda looks like Janel LOL. 8-8-8 and I concur. Also I couldn’t find any other giffable moment than this LMAO

Demarcus & Lindsay+ Rashad Jennings: Okay I KNEW this was going to happen with this dance. Okay the package was whew. That broken finger man gahhhhhh and he was so chill about it LOL that football mentality man. Okay as for the dance, I knew this was going to happen. Rashad is too good to go with Demarcus. It highlighted that Demarcus is the weaker dancer of the two. Rashad danced down to Demarcus’s level and Demarcus tried too hard to dance to Rashad’s level and it lost the intensity in my opinion. He doesn’t hit things like Rashad does and this made it apparent. It wasn’t a bad dance AT ALL but it highlighted the WRONG things. 7-7-8 I think that was about right

MLR & Sasha+Nastia Lukin: I am glad ya’ll enjoy her because I just don’t care one way or the other for he. Probably because she’s with Sasha and every time I see him I wanna hit him. The package was good though, she needed that. I think this dance suited MLR more because of alllllll of my issues with her the last three weeks. She still poses so much. There wasn’t as much trio as I would have preferred but that’s the first dance of hers I liked. 9-8-9 I’d have said 8

Milo & Witney+ Riker Lynch: I have been looking forward to this dance all week tbh. Riker should have won that season LOL I really really enjoy Milo. And I am glad to see Witney back to her old self. LMAO Witlash. Milo coming off a little cocky though. She almost fell twice though lol It was what I expected. I did love it. A lot. 10-9-10 and I agree

Joe & Jenna+Jordan Kimbrell: Okay. I have so many thoughts. WHY THE AF DID THEY PUT THIS RANDOM SHIT ON HERE?? Jordan is more charismatic than Joe tbh. Whew okay. Time to start the actual dance. Jenna looks stunning so there is that. I can’t stop laughing though. The minute they ripped the shirts off I lost it lmaooooo omg the “body grind “ was so Bad. Then gleb and Val came in and saved the shit out of it. Omg I can’t with this dance. I can’t quit laughing. And Val and gleb at the end. WHEW that was a fucking hot mess. But I cackled LMAO Jenna’s just like fuck it I give up LOL Bruno is me. This is a unique experience. I said 3 but yeah that sounds about right. And OMG stop I never saw alan and bobby booty popping omgggg

Alexis & Alan+Maddie Ziegler: AGAIN WHY TF IS THIS RANDOM ON MY SCREEN. Though they look like twins. Still don’t care about Alexis tbh. Don’t care at all. This dance wasn’t bad. She overdanced Alexis imo. And they didn’t dance together. Alexis has the same problem as demarcus this week. She is way too soft. But she seemed to enjoy this week the most so that’s good. But meh whatevs 8-8-9 also, see below the most WTF choreographed bit last night

Bobby & Sharna+Lindsey Sterling: I think they kinda got jipped getting cha cha with Lindsey. She’s not the most hip actiony person lol but they cute. Cute package. Really pushing about the dreams he’s living. This is 100% a lipsync battle lmao he hit those hammer moves though. I just can’t stop smiling through this though. It was a whole ass blast dude. The cha cha was lacking but it was fun! 7-6-7 which I mean okay yeah

OKAY so my thoughts re: that elimination that none of you asked for but if you actually read this shit show then you will get. I am ONLY shocked about her going home last night because of the jeopardy last week. I am not shocked she went home early. She’s entirely forgettable when you have people like Bobby and Joe and Milo and Evy. The people that don’t really vote or don’t watch live or are just basic casual viewers continuously forget her. My flip phone loving, email incapable memaw forgot she was on until she started dancing. Mama asked what dance she did last week because she honestly couldn’t remember. That is Tinashe’s problem. She was a superb dancer but easily forgettable this season. I was only shocked because I thought that jeopardy would carry her another couple of weeks.

#whew #that was a lot of work #you are all welcome #dwts27

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dwtspd · 6 years

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DWTS S27 Week ONE!!! Nights 1+2 review

Man, when I saw Tom I suddenly felt like it had been AGES since I watched this show, then I realised, I didn’t even watch the athlete season. My friends told me it’s not worth it so I will probably never watch it.

Idk how the two-night thing is gonna work out so this is a combined post.

Night 1

Mary Lou Retton and Sasha Farber - Cha cha okay, was that video package kinda short? Also maybe it’s cos I’m not American but I’m soooo over all the “yay USA” themed dances. Anyhows, Mary Lou is a former US gymnast who won gold in 1984, the first US woman to do so. No mention of her current embroilment in the USAgym-gate. Okay, she can definitely remember steps. She needs to work on timing and also getting those latin shapes. 6-7-6 T19 huh that’s kinda harsh?? Might have been 1-2 pts higher if she went later I think.

Milo Manheim and Witney Carson - Cha cha Sorry Milo, but Zombies aiiiin’t that great. In case anyone doesn’t know, Zombies is a cheesy af DCOM musical. I really like his energy though. “Tell me about yourself.” “I’m still in school.” I love that. It’s quite refreshing cos we don’t get young male contestants as often as the girls. Whoa, he has those hips! I don’t think his limbs were as messy as the judges made it sound. His legs looked a little awkward during the cha-cha walks. That aside, this dance was so fun to watch! 7-6-7 T20 “That’s good, that’s good!” Witney tells him. Again, I think he could get a tad higher scores if he went later.

Evanna Lynch and Keo Motsepe - Foxtrot OMG Keo’s reaction was priceless. Evanna probably needs no introduction, but anyway, Luna Lovegood. She wanted to go to dance college, but was rejected so DWTS was the next best thing. I think the song did them in, but I found some of her movements too sharp for a foxtrot. She has nice frame and did something weird with her hand once. Definitely has potential. 7-5-6 T18 oooooh Len that was harsh. Tom, the correct term is he who shall not be named.

Speaking of, I like the new green glitter score background.

Danelle Umstead and Artem Chigvintsev - Foxtrot Danelle is a blind alpine skier but gosh she has good footwork and lots of grace. Her shoulders came up a bit and I think she had to adjust her footing going into the spin. When I saw the opening, I was like “Artem is making her walk down the steps to him??!!” At least they went down together. I think her and Artem will be a very nice, friendly, genuine partnership. 6-6-6 T18

Side note: I really didn’t need to hear “Rise Up” again.

Bobby Bones and Sharna Burgess - Jive Bobby is...a lot of things. I’ll say entertainer. His main schtick right now is his country radio show. Guy has boundless energy, I’ll give him that. Jive suits him. He had to point his feet, and the footwork was real rough. If he was judged for enthusiasm though, he’d get a perfect score. 7-6-7 T20 yeah that’s too high. I think the judges got a little high off his energy. I think he should be sitting at a 16-17.

Juan Pablo Di Pace and Cheryl Burke - Salsa Juan Pablo is an actor most recently from Fuller House and Mamma Mia. Uh huh, here’s the sexy hot couple of the season right here. It took really long to get into actual salsa though. Some of the moves looked unpolished and uncertain, but he had a sense of timing and can move. his. hips. 7-7-8 T22 haha we all knew Bruno would like it.

Ayyyy hey Rashad! Apparently he’s going into hosting, showing us the DWTS BTS web series. Go support that guy, he’s an all-round all-star.

Nikki Glaser and Gleb Savchenko - Salsa Nikki is a comedian and entertainer. She told Gleb he looks like he should be emerging from a pool, which I’m pretty sure he has done before for some modelling thing. Apparently she got injured over the weekend. Could have affected the performance. She seemed fine in rehearsal but looked really ginger and reserved while dancing. Her limbs looked awkward. Arms were kept really close to her body and her legs...I don’t know any other way to describe it except “baby giraffe”. 6-5-6 T17

Alexis Ren and Alan Bersten - Jive Alexis is an instagram influencer and model. She’s doing the show for her late mother who enjoyed it. Okay I’ll say it here, she is the one to beat technique-wise. My only complain is she could be more bouncy. Everything else was spot on IMO. I think her possible downfall would be her sketchy voting base. Lots of insta followers doesn’t necessarily mean they will vote. We’ve seen that with past social media stars. 7-7-7 T21 I think she should be equal with Juan Pablo honestly.

John Schneider and Emma Slater I’ve never heard of his Dukes of Hazard show but his name sounds familiar. He’s done so many things, I’ve probably seen him somewhere. Well he certainly has the right attitude. His dancing was...here and there. Some times I was like ‘oh, that’s not bad’ and then i’d be like ‘okay that needs improvement’. I think he’s good enough and charming enough to appeal to the DWTS demo though. 7-5-6 T18

Tinashe and Brandon Armstrong - Jive Tinashe is a singer...who I’ve never heard of. But I live under a rock. Brandon is newly promoted and awwww he’s so adorable. He gave her lots of content which she handled fairly well. She was very clean but I feel like it was toooo clean. Like you know how if you strip water of too many minerals it’ll just burn your tongue. I feel like sometimes I was watching a stick figure dance. Could have used more bounce. CAI’s comment didn’t make sense. 8-7-8 T23

Nancy McKeon and Val Chmerkovskiy - Quickstep Nancy was an actor from a show called The Facts of Life which probably pre-dates me. She has the facial expressions!!! Quickstep on week 1 is no joke but she kept up for most of it. Yup she was wobbly at times, because she was lacking the contact in hold with Val, but that seems to be a Thing TM with all his partners so it’s more Val’s fault. For a while I was like “omg is Val choreographing a solid routine with moves in hold??” and then they broke hold. I’m surprised Len didn’t call that out. Nancy was reall animated in that section though. 6-6-6 T18

Joe Amabile/”Grocery Store Joe” and Jenna Johnson - Quickstep Joe is from the Bachelor franchise and got his nickname because he owns a grocery store. He wants to become Dancing Joe now. He’s kinda cute, sorta charming in a slightly-awkward-little-self-depreciative way. Very likeable guy. I think with his personality and the bachelor backing, he’ll stick around for a while. Yeah that definitely wasn’t the best dance. He was flat footed, made mistakes, getting QS definitely didn’t help either. Can see he is trying to stay positive. 5-4-5 T14

Demarcus Ware and Lindsey Arnold Soon to be NFL hall of fame inductee. Has won the Super Bowl. You know, I hate American football as a sport, but these NFL guys always come in and work hard and it pays off. Demarcus can move and seems to have hella groove, with personality to boot. He’ll have to clean up some lines, but I can see him growing a lot on this show. Such a delight! 8-7-8 T23

Night 2

Ohhhhhh I love that opening number!! I can see why it’s not a premiere opener but wowwwww.

Okay so apparently the bottom half after judges score and votes from night 1 will have to dance again. Everyone else would have rehearsed a second dance for nothing...I guess. I feel like maybe they should have let everyone dance their second dance, but only score those in jeopardy.

Rashad out there with a message for Demarcus. I was kinda waiting for that the first night.

Safe - Demarcus, Tinashe, and...JOE!!!!!! That was the chillest reaction to a (not so) surprise safe.

Jeopardy - Nancy

DWTS Jr pros dance and make me feel old. Jake Monreal!!! And okay, JT Church has some ballroom moves. There’s one brunette guy (not Sage) who has nice hair. And the blond boy looks a little familiar but I can’t put my finger on it.

Safe - Juan Pablo, Bobby

Jeopardy - Nikki, John, Alexis

Alexis and Bobby’s placements are telling about the voters.

Okay. I watched the two episodes back to back. People I forgot about by the time I started night 2: Mary Lou, John, Danelle, Nancy. Also I knew Tinashe, Evanna and Juan Pablo were there but I kinda forgot how their dances looked.

Lmao Milo and Tom. “Why are you so scared about what I’m gonna ask you?”

Amy Purdy with a message for Danelle. She looks so different than I remember.

Safe - Milo, Evanna

Jeopardy - Danelle, Mary Lou

Okay so summary Top 7: Demarcus, Milo, Juan Pablo, Bobby, Evanna, Tinashe, Joe Bottom 6: Alexis, Danelle, John, Nikki, Nancy, Mary Lou

So they are bringing back the Judge’s choice encore from when they had result shows. This week: Demarcus.

They introduced the Junior stars. I’m having a hard time remembering who is who but: - JT’s “OH MY GOSH” when his pro-skateboarding partner did a trick - Mackenzie Ziegler is not a “pop star” she’s as good as a pro dancer. WHO’S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO MAKE HER A CONTESTANT???!?!?

Can they intro the Jr pros too? All the cast of Juniors including the adult pros do a dance number and all I get from it is that red latin shoes are not in style.

Okay so we don’t have time for 6 dances or something so John is safe and won’t have to dance for his life any more.

Couples will dance the same style as night 1, but the choreo and song will be different.

Mary Lou and Sasha - cha cha okay I dunno what their rehearsal strategy was, but this dance felt very basic and less rehearsed than their first. She was more precise and controlled, but seemed to have less energy in it. 7-7-7 T21

Danelle and Artem - foxtrot the rehearsal vids seem to imply the couples were only given Monday night to come up with their second numbers. If so it must have disadvantaged Danelle. She was more timid and reserved. 6-6-6 T18

Nikki and Gleb - salsa She looked more confident this time. Legs less giraffe-y. Her arms were still awkward. 6-6-6 T18

Alexis and Alan - jive Ooooohhh this was good. Her technique was good again, but I think the mood of this dance suited her far better. I think she had a lot more energy and personality in this performance. 7-8-8 T23 Len says it is the best dance of the night and I agree as does Bruno.

Nancy and Val - quickstep Oh dang, the shorter dress exposed Nancy’s shortcomings. Her lines were wonky and she still looked a little unstable sometimes in hold, which was easier to see in this costume. It also made her look like Tweety Bird tumbled dry, They stayed in hold this time though. 7-7-7 T21 that seems generous.

Okay so Mackenzie Ziegler sings. She has a decent voice. Gotta set herself apart from her sister I guess.

Online voting for night 2 was open for...10 minutes? And I wager only US east coasters could vote.

Results time! (finally.)

Safe - Danelle, Alexis (yay!), Mary Lou

Nikki vs Nancy...Eliminated: Nikki. no surprise.

My favourites are Milo and Alexis. Also rooting for Danelle on a slightly lower tier. Surprisingly, Evanna isn’t really on the forefront of my mind.

Also, whether or not the couple danced on the second night might affect their memorability. Like, Bobby make an impact night 1, but after night 2 I kinda forgot about him. The only person who didn’t perform night 2 who I remember is Milo. Everyone else I was like “oh wait, who’s here again?”

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roxy-davenport · 7 years

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Really, Dean

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Beta: @chaosinacoffeecup

Word Count: 1,231

A/N: This was written for @webcricket’s SPN Advent Challenge Day 7 with the prompt, “Rock- paper-scissors. Kidnapping, show level violence and a TON of sass.

Also on AO3 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/13035990)

“We finally caught the Winchesters, Alan. Us. Two lower level demons. How awesome is that?!”

“I know, right? And they can’t even move. Completely tied to the chair with some of the strongest ropes imaginable.”

“Lucifer is going to reward us, Marvus.”

“He definitely is. I can see it now. We’ll be his two favorite demons. We’ll be revered. Demons will bow before us.”

“Yeah and they’ll think we’re clever, Alan. They won’t make fun of us anymore. We won’t have those…nicknames.”

“Oh, come on. If you’re going to drone on like this, please just kill us,” Dean said utterly frustrated with the situation. “These guys got the better of us? Wow! We should think about retiring,” Dean mused.

“Dean, you’re not helping,” Sam chimed in.

“Dean’s right, Marvus we gotta kill ‘em.”

“Okay, yeah and we shouldn’t dally. Someone might come to their rescue and all. Okay, so who kills who?”

“I wanna kill Dean,” Alan replied with a dark chuckle.

“That’s not fair!”

“Uh, yeah totally fair, Marvus. This plan was my idea after all.”

“No way. It was my idea to blindside them on a hunt.”

“Yeah, but I chose the specific hunt. Did I not, Marvus?”

Both demons let out loud groans and thought for a moment about how best to resolve the situation.

Meanwhile, Dean tried to get his pocket knife to cut through the rope. So far, it was going as slowly as possible because the rope was almost impossible to cut through. One glance at Sam’s frustrated face told Dean that his brother was in the same boat. Great.

“Oh, I have an idea. Rock-paper-scissors,” Alan suggested with a huge smile on his face.

Marvus gleefully nodded his head and they started the game. “Best of three.”

Alan agreed and started the first round. Alan was prone to picking rock and Marvus was prone to picking scissors. Round two they switched it up and Alan choose paper and Marvus choose rock. The third round, Alan choose scissors and Marvus choose paper. Mixing up their options still had Alan winning. Alan always won at games, he was wonderful at reading people and guessing what their answers would be.

Alan smiled triumphantly at Marvus. “Okay, I want Dean. Can’t wait. I get to kill the legendary Dean freakin’ Winchester. Oh my god. Such an important moment.”

Marvus groaned. “I’ll kill the giant,” he said in a forlorn voice, as if it were a punishment of some sort.

Alan closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of power he had over the hunters and thinking about the future he was going to have once he killed Dean. He was imagining accolades from demons in the form of pats on the back and lots of hand shakes. He’d be famous. He’d be on the wall as one of the most important demons.

Alan and Marvus were so caught up in the fact that they had captured the Winchesters that they weren’t really paying attention to their surroundings.

“So, how should I kill Dean? The death has to be special, right? We could play rock-paper-scissors for the death? I can see the gears turning. You have ideas about how to kill the Winchesters and you’ll be upset if it isn’t fair. I do the dirty work and you might be able to do the planning. Okay, let’s go.”

And just at that moment a knife went into Alan’s heart from behind. A bright light flashed in his eyes and a squelching sound could be heard before the demon’s body fell to the floor.

“Oh, sorry did I interrupt something? He was such an attention grabber, just kept talking, couldn’t make a good entrance. Thought hi just wouldn’t do, whaddya think? My entrance needs work?” you asked with a smirk.

Marvus gave you a confused and slightly fearful gaze before he came charging at you. You quickly grabbed a lamp from a nearby table and threw it at him, watching as it broke on his strong and muscular chest. Damn, this one was not going to go down easy unless you were quick. The lamp broke Marvus’s momentum a tad, enough for you to use all your strength to both stop his movements and thrust him away from you. He staggered on the uneven floorboards and fell down onto his back with a thud. You quickly jumped on top of him and shoved the knife into his heart.

When Marvus was killed and the crisis diverted, you slowly meandered over to the Winchesters, eying their small efforts to get out of the rope. It looked like they made hardly any progress.

“How long you two been at it?”

“A few minutes,” Dean said in an angry tone. You scoffed at his rather obvious lie.

“Taking your sweet time there with the rope, why? You boys wanted to stay for the monologues or the game of rock-paper-scissors?”

Dean gave you a death glare. “You gonna help us here?”

“Gosh golly that doesn’t sound like an apology. Here I am, the damsel in distress who can’t defend myself. I need a big strong man at my side, the kind of man that lets two idiotic demons best him on a hunt. That strong man. I’m incapable of helping you, Dean. I’m just not strong enough. I’ll break a nail”

“Now wait a minute. That’s not what I said.”

“Yeah, it totally is. Well, not the breaking my nail part but the rest of it, yep.”

You went over and cut Sam out of his confines but left Dean in his. You bent down, knife eye level with him. “You got scared ‘cause of that close call and you benched me or tried to, saying I couldn’t protect myself. Well, if I didn’t get out of the Bunker and save your ass, you’d be toast right about now. So, next time, don’t bench me ‘cause if you do, I’m not rescuing your ass again. Capesh?”

Dean groaned and nodded before mumbling, “Thank you.”

You would have wanted a more audible thank you but the important message got through his thick skull and that’s all you wanted. No need to belabor the point, you already won. You nodded and walked over to the Impala, standing by the passenger door.

“You really should let me drive Dean, you’re in no shape and you boys smell like a sewer.”

“It’s always a pleasure with you, Y/N.”

“Could say the same Dean-o. Gonna let me drive Baby?”

“I’m fine. I can do it.”

“God dammit Winchester, you are so freakin’ stubborn. If you drive us into a pole, I’m killing you.”

“I’ve driven in much worse condition like with a bullet wound in my stomach, just ask Sam. This is nothing.”

“I see. Well color me unconvinced. I’ll just sit right here in the passenger seat, just in case you freak out or have a seizure at the wheel.”

“It’s a small cut darlin’.”

“That small cut is still bleeding and has bled through your undershirt. Get the fuck in the car so I can patch you two idiots up. Don’t make me say it again boys!”

Dean had the good sense to get in the damn car and drive off. You honestly had no idea where these two would be without you. Another hunt, another day and this time Dean owed it all to you.

Tagging

Forevers @purgatoan, @killerofthesouth, @charliebradbury1104, @chaos-and-the-calm67, @chelsea072498, @everyday-supernatural-af, @neversatisfiedgirl, @toogardenenthusiast, @winchesterprincessbride, @one-shots-supernatural, @take-me-tonirvana, @hellsmother, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @faegal04, @deals-with-demons, @mamaredd123, @atc74, @hamartiamacguffin, @donnaintx, @love-kittykat21, @impala-dreamer, @evansrogerskitten, @lucifer-in-leather, @riversong-sam, @rosie-winchester, @chaosinacoffeecup

Dean @jayankles, @faith-in-dean, @bennyyh, @ruprecht0420 @supernatural-jackles, @jesspfly, @webcricket, @faegal04, @faith-in-dean, @bennyyh, @ruprecht0420, @donnaintx, @amanda-teaches, @salvachester, @akshi8278, @kdfrqqg

@aprofoundbondwithdean, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @manawhaat@mrswhozeewhatsis, @dr-dean, @nichelle-my-belle, @theficlibrarium, @bowtiesandapplepie, @winchestersmolder, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @thegreatficmaster, @notnaturalanahi, @bkwrm523, @faith-in-dean, @writingbeautifulmen @salvachester, @whispersandwhiskerburn, @impala-dreamer, @samsgoddess, @scorpiongirl1, @for-the-love-of-dean, @mysupernaturalfics, @jelly-beans-and-gstrings, @fiveleaf, @frenchybell, @deansleather, @deandoesthingstome, @curliesallovertheplace, @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname, @waywardjoy, @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious, @kayteonline, @supernatural-jackles, @wevegotworktodo, @ilovedean-spn2 , @quiddy-writes, @babypieandwhiskey, @wi-deangirl77, @deantbh, @mysaintsasinner, @chelsea-winchester, @revwinchester, @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell, @taste-of-dean, @clueless-gold, @deanwinchesterxreader, @melbel45, @winchester-family-buisness, @atwistoffate, @hexparker, @alangel1895, @quiddy-writes, @deanwinchesterforpromqueen. @supernaturalismylife, @pinknerdpanda, @deandoesthingstome, @fandommaniacx, @meganwinchester1999, @winchesterfiesta, @i-dont-know-how-to-write, @babypieandwhiskey, @wayward-mirage , @spn-fan-girl-173, @shelovesallthethings, @revwinchester, @klaineaholic, @salvachester, @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid, @jelly-beans-and-gstrings, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki, @fandommaniacx, @teamfreewillimagines, @deanwinchesterforpromqueen, @castieltrash1, @supernaturallyobsessed, @memariana91, @writingbeautifulmen, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @idreamofhazel, @revwinchester, @supermoonpanda, @ageekchiclife, @i-dont-know-how-to-write, @vintagevalentinexx, @ohwritever, @ruined-by-destiel, @winchester-writes, @thinkwrongways @sammit-janet @bowtiesandapplepie, @itsemmyb, @ezauraemmaline, @matteson-crazed, @castielspahdehrah, @charliesbackbitches, @crzcorgi, @gryffindorable713, @deerlululucy, @walkingencyclopediaoffandom, @mrsjohnsmith, @manawhaat, @growleytria, @thegleegeneration, @samtomydeanwinchester, @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki, @i-never-said-a-pilot, @thewinchestielboys, @supermoonpanda, @sis-tafics, @amaranthinecastiel, @kittenofdoomage, @samanddeanwinchester67, @ferferelli @lilyoflothlorien, @myfand0msandm0re, @ackleslaugh @noisilyyoungpuppy, @fangirling-instead-of-working, @eyes-of-a-disney-princess, @chrisatplay, @kayteonline, @spnsimpleman, @faith-in-dean @for-the-love-of-dean, @mamaimpala, @zanthiasplace, @sleep-silent-angel, @pada-ackles-reads, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @gadreelsforbiddenfruit, @trenchcoats-and-bees, @curliesallovertheplace, @jencharlan, @not-so-natural-spn, @skybinx-blog, @thebunkerismyhome, @feelmyroarrrr, @beachy2014, @fandom-book-nerd, @tia58, @sams-little-toy, @sunriserose1023, @saving-things-hunting-family, @winchesterswoonathon, @jotink78, @babypieandwhiskey, @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave, @supernatural-jackles, @avasmommy224, @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings, @marasficrecs @mysaintsasinner, @chelsea-winchester, @besslincoln-bruh, @wheresthekillswitch, @maraisabellegrey, @notnaturalanahi, @hexparker, @mysaintsasinner @winchestersmolder, @winchester-family-business, @melbelle45, @quiddy-writes @deanwinchesterxreader, @winchester-writes, @chelsea-winchester, @klaineaholic, @revwinchester, @sis-tafics, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish, @shelovesallthethings, @wheresthekillswitch, @besslincoln-bruh, @idreamofhazel

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betterbooksbureau · 7 years

Text

Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton

This was a hell of a ride tbh.

Readability: *shrugs aggressively* i found a lot of the language to be a lil dry but it wasn’t, by any means, a chore. There were a handful of big blocks of text that took a little effort to get through, but even then those were mostly shorter sentences, so even my adhd ass could keep track of them.

Re-Readability: it’s probably fine but i dont know why you’d bother when there’s a movie you could watch.

Reccomendability: see re-readability

What I Expected: I mean i’ve SEEN the movie but it was so long ago that all the things i DID remember were either things i know thru cultural osmosis or that were prompted by the reading of the book.

What I Got: i mean honestly it’s fine. Like with The Martian, the Jurassic Park movie seems to me to be a pretty reasonable adaptation, so I got about what I was expecting. Was actually sort of surprised bc, while i dont generally speaking expect dinosaur things to be super scientifically accurate, he DID hit a lot more nails on the head than I had expected. (theres still some stuff that was changed for what is, as near as i can tell, narrative purposes.)

Overview and Thoughts, under a cut bc it got very fuckin long:

ok so. Lets get some general stuff out of the way right here at the top; we have an entire main cast of white dudes (with the exceptions of Sattler and Wu, who are a woman and, i think, asian respectively,) most of whom are described as “skinny” or “slender,” like, ok dude we get it, and then one of whom is described as “fat” and frequently referred to as being, like, messy/a slob/constantly making a mess while eating so, you fuckin know. good show with the fatphobia man.

and then, like, there’s a handful of women with speaking parts but they all exist in this sort of “women can definitely be strong talented powerful people but also there can only be one at a time and also i still want you to know they’re hot” kind of way. Dr. Sattler DOES have one very good zinger wherein the lawyer is like “oh i didnt know you were a woman” and she says “these things happen” and i’m like “yass get him” but that’s about as feminist as this novel gets.

There’s also, like, a reasonable number of black and latinx background characters (which is good bc like, it DOES take place in Costa Rica or w/e) but most of the explicitly black ones are literally maintenance workers, often without names, and, like. idk. at least the crowds were the color they should be, but also? fuck that, gimme some more poc in the main cast.

also for real? a whole story about the doctor in the very beginning of the book probably would have been way more interesting. Gimme Ellen and Manuel or w/e their names are tracking down what the fuck has been happening to these construction workers and burning Hammond to the ground with their bare hands.

Lets get to the Good Shit tho:

i had literally completely forgotten about Alan Grant. like COMPLETELY. i spent maybe the first third of the book being like “i’m pretty sure they collapsed grant and malcolm into a single character bc i dont remember grant At All.” and then i finally looked it up and no, my memory had just been completely overwritten by screencaps of Jeff Goldblum.

I love Grant so fucking much though, lets be extremely hecking clear here. My man Grant: loves his work, would hate Ross Geller, love children, loves dinosaurs, DOUBLE LOVES children who love dinosaurs, just wants to learn more things about dinosaurs and dinosaur children, i could go on. Let Dr. Alan Grant Harvest Dinosaur Bones In Peace 2k17.

also? i hate Ian Malcolm a fucking lot. He was introduced and he has spoken maybe 4 lines and i was pretty much immediately over here like “this is the most pretentious fuckboy i’ve ever read in my life.” if my dude was a shakespeare character he would die and come back to life to give a final monologue about the folly of mankind, ok, and its made even more insufferable by the fact that he’s one of maybe like 3 people in this book with ANY sense. but, he does make a pun about his broken leg so, like, i can’t hate him all the way.

the kids are fine, i like them fine, dont have any huge issues with how they’re written tbh.

Hammond has this interesting arc where you slowly find out more about how he thinks and he makes this transition between “this man reminds me of my grandfather” and “oh. this dude is deluded as hell.”

i think we’re meant to read Nedry and Gennaro as bad guys but, like…. honestly if i was Nedry i’d probably feel the exact fucking way he does and i could super easily see someone doing the exact things he does!!! like the only thing i would do different is maybe not shut everything down when theres guests out and also maybe take a map with me when I leave to make the delivery but, like, imho its completely justified. and Gennaro- like. idk i think its difficult to make a solid decision when you’re in his position and i felt like he really pulled his weight re:helping hammond get shit done and i felt like grant and co treated him really unfairly toward the end there bc its a complicated af situation and he’s……………….. one of the first people who A: knew what was going on and B: to whom is occurred that maybe it was a bad goddamn idea and they should pull the plug. like? not entirely without blame but lets be real here he got his shit together about what a mess it was the fastest of anybody other than Malcolm.

I mentioned above that i was sort of surprised about the accuracy of the science? all in context and speaking comparatively, of course, but like there are still people /today/ who dont believe that birds are related to dinosaurs, so it was good as fuck to see my boy being on top of that shit that far back. it seemed to me a lot like the inaccuracies that were there were a mix of “stuff we just didnt know yet” and “for dramatic effect” but like, struck me as reasonably solid tbh.

there WAS one part that i found to be exceptionally hilarious where hammond was like “the market would never tolerate anyone charging a thousand dollars a treatment for medication!” and i just…… shhhhh nobody tell him the state of healthcare in the united states…….

anyway!! it was fine. i wouldnt buy this book, probably, but it’s worth a read if you’re bored and it happens to be lying around somewhere nearby.

#jurassic park #michael crichton #books #book #review #reviews #book reviews

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blokmusik · 6 years

Text

Et musikalsk tilbageblik på året 2018

Efter en veloverstået jul og et festligt nytår er det tid til den årlige liste over mine 25 albumfavoritter fra det forgangne år krydret med et længere postludium af andre udgivelser, der også kræver ekstra opmærksomhed og omtale. Året 2018 har bestemt været prangende, men sammenlignet med forrige år har mængden af tydelige plademæssige sværvægtere været mindre. Dermed ikke sagt, at jeg ikke har haft mine sentimentale øjeblikke med Gwenno, Beach House, Julia Holter eller Low, råbt og skreget til Ildes og Iceage eller for den sags skyld smadret igennem til Pusha T i weekenderne eller drømt om varmere himmelstrøg til Nicolas Jaars postproduktioner under alisset Against All Logic, for slet ikke at tale om at danse vildt og voldsomt til Robyns Honey, Christine and The Queens på numre som ‘5 Dollars’ og ‘Girlfriend’ eller DJ Kozes Knock Knock, der må siges at være noget af et festfyrværkeri. Om ikke andet, så er listen klar. Velbekomme.

Top 25

25.

Jens Rubin og de Matchende Læber / Dødningehoved

Vellness-drengene er ikke til at standse. Nye projekter, nye konstellationer og mere innovation. En Lars HUG’sk pop-EP, der hylder nye som gamle måder at skabe popsange med halvfalske falsetter og finurlige nostalgitrip om fodboldmesterskaber og smeltende hjerte-rimer-på-smerte oder om forliste flammer.

24.

Nils Frahm / All Melody

Et studium i balsamerende musikalsk elegance.

23.

SOPHIE / Oil Of Every Pearl’s Un-Insides

En triumferende kunstnerisk bedrift skabt i et splittet sind mellem forskellige identiteter, hvorfra fremtidens popmusik er født.

22.

Noname / Room 25

Et politisk opråb, der finder materiale i et stadigt splittet USA, hvor hun med linjer som “My pussy wrote a thesis on colonialism” og “Y’all really thought a bitch couldn’t rap huh” på intronummeret ‘Self’ revser og konceptualiserer den blivende debat om kvindelige rapperers plads i hovestrømmenes musikindustri.

Fra at være et upcoming stjernefrø med utilfredshederne på rette sted, cementerer hun nu sin status som en funklende ledestjerne for fremtidens R&B, hvilket er noget af bedrift efter kun anden udgivelse.

21.

Iceage / Beyondless

En til dato mildere variant af Elias Benders rockbandes ellers peberstærke rockkompot, der dog alligevel lyder mere desto mindre som Iceages mest gennemspillede og velskrevede udspil indtil nu. De har forladt de danske græsgange og Mayhems anti-hvad-som-helst ståsted og i stedet bakket deres til tider politiske, men også selvreflekterende blotlæggelse med et fokuseret, fuldvoksent og mere opulent storværk.

20.

Kamasi Washington / Heaven & Earth

Nutidens svar på jazzens prins, konge og kejser i én og samme person slår endnu engang fast, at han er uomtvistelig. Omend han nu er blevet mere lyttervenlig og mindre eksperimenterende, så er han stadig den mest interessante og gennemmusikalske jazzmaestro netop nu.

19.

CHINAH / Anyone

Dansk pop har sjældent lydt bedre. CHINAH afprøver nyt musikalsk territorie og har dermed smidt de blødsødende melodier over borde og skiftet det ud med (for engangs skyld) at undgå behovet for grålige hitparader. De forsøger sig i stedet med at gå en mere beskidt vej. Fine Glindvad syner stadig lige smukt, men er nu også blevet sexet og pirrende. Sammen med rytmer i parløb og mastodontiske synthstorme og massive vægge af forvrænget guitar er de med ét gået fra at være uvedkommende popfyld til at være popfrontiers, der går forrest.

18.

The 1975 / A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Med en absurd portion alsidighed i The 1975′s popunivers har de fået filet det værste af den politiske kynisme fra, men alligevel tappert plæderet for en verden med større vished om de problemer, der står lige for næsen af os: populistiske overhoveder, den over-the-top flade fornemmelse af fornærmelse ved afvisning på dating-apps til det omvendte håb om en forhåbentlig mere optimistisk discokugle-funklende fremtid. Med moderne referencer til mange af de allerstørste poprock konger og dronninger dyppet i jazz, stryger-ensemble, soullede gospel kor, intime akustiske, enetaler om kærligheden til en robot til selvfølgelig - og allervigtigst - de storladende, smil-for-helvede-temaer med simple guitar-bas-vokal korrespondancer - man føler en vis 80′er-mimik - som man ser det på “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)”. Men numre som “Love If We Made It” og “Inside Your Mind” og “I Like America & America Likes Me” er allesammen højdepunkter, der beviser, at 1975 vil og kan mere end blot at producere samlebånds hit som en anden sydtysk pølsefabrik.

17.

Low / Double Negative Et langstrakt organ går på vid gab ind i prøvelser om at overskride den menneskelige stemme. Mimi Parker og Alan Sparhawk har i samarbejde med produceren BJ Burton fremprovokeret en tingsliggjort påmindelse om at vi mennesker stadig kan være i stand til at gøre lyde foranderlige - hvad er instrument og hvad er vokal? I en tyk tåge af politisk håbløshed og sange om armod og trang til at flakse væk i vinden indkapsler Low deres lyd i det, der med rette kan kaldes 2018s bedste (dis-)harmoniske prøvelse. Men også bandets til dato bedste udgivelse.

16.

Yves Tumor / Safe In The Hands Of Love

Puroriginalt sammensurium af eksperimenterende legeringer mellem rock, Britpop, synthpop, ambient og såkaldt havpunk.

15.

Julia Holter / Aviary

Flaksende vinger rundt om et bur af både kærlighed og sakrale skrig. En polyfonisk udforskning udi et omtrent halvfems minutters odysse-lignende kaos.

14.

DJ Koze / Knock Knock

En stærktreduceret Maggi-terning af total frihedsfølelse.

13.

Gwenno / Le Kow

Psykedeliske småbidder ført an af atmosfæriske lydbilleder og walisiske opråb.

12.

US Girls / In A Poem Unlimited

Politiskbefriende i en stærk toksisk tone struktureret ud fra disco og forbandelse over for det nuværende politiske klima.

11.

Mitski / Be The Cowboy

Excentrisk og virtuos, hvor en underliggende følelse af usikkerhed og ikke at ville stoppe ligger og lurer. Mitski har aldrig virket mere selvsikker end på denne visionære og inciterende vækkelse af et indie rocket selvportræt.

10.

Yo La Tengo / There’s A Riot Going On

En hyldest til de små momenter vi kan ændre i vores liv, der nok foregår i en stille larm, men stadig har sin eksistensberettigelse. Tidløst og drømmende.

Kali Uchis / Isolation

Genreskiftende og innovativt. Et skinnende vidnesbyrd om en stjerne, der er under udvikling.

Against All Logic / 2012 - 2017

Nicolas Jaar hiver gamle samples opad posen og udad det har han fået produceret et fandens komplimentærbart danse-ensemble mellem hi-hat og synth - og uden ét kedeligt moment.

Blood Orange / Negro Swan

Ikke bare et fremragende album, men Dev Hynes har også givet et stykke af sig selv, om ønsket at blive elsket.

Pusha T / Daytona

Clipse var et 00er-fænomen båret af og skudt ud i succesmøllen med hjælp fra The Neptunes, men skulle alligevel også ende med at være skylden til, at det umage brødrepar går hver til sit. Efter to lovende mixtapes, dog med nogle få numre af svingende kvalitet, udgiver Pusha T i efteråret 2013 den fabelagtige, stramtproducerede My Name Is My Name, der yderligere imponerede med et overskudsagtigt, pistolskydende rapflow og ditto slående lyriske færdigheder. Darkest Before Dawn var ligeså en lovende udgivelse, men endnu med plads til forbedring. Mandens budskab syntes næsten formfuldendt, men stod alligevel langt fra tilbage som samme type arvtager til klassikerstatus inden for hiphopverdenen som Outkasts og Kanyes hæderkronede dage i 00erne. Nuvel, mangler kan jo forbedres, hvor til man kunne fristes til at sige - som sagt så gjort.

Med DAYTONA beviser han for første gang at beside unikke teknikker, der falder i eksakt samme spor som produktionerne. For denne gang er udtrykket blevet endnu mere fokuseret, så udmattelserne langt overgår foregående udspil. Der er tale om en hårdkogt cocktail af tætlydende produktioner fra den absolut øverste skuffe med Mr. West siddende i førersædet forbundet med Pusha’s stadigt inciterende, nærmest prædikende stemmeføring, der skærer luften væk mellem ordene, hvilket til sammen udgør et frygtindgydende ambitionsniveau, men også en selvsikkerhed, der er svært uforlignelig.

Det er mørkt, tenderende til det dystopiske, hvor virkemidlerne er få, men det tilbagestående indhold fremstår uhyre skarpt på de syv numre, der udgør 21 minutter af et tonstungt højspændingsbatteri. Blandt de absolutte højdepunkter kan både fremhæves den ultraminimalistiske kæberasler ‘If You Know You Know’ , men også den blærede Kanye-mesterstreg ‘The Games We Play’. Fællesnævneren mellem de 7 skæringer er ikke blot et imponerende bundniveau, hvorfor de hver især føles som forskellige afkroge af to geniers sind, men sammen virker som en præstation, der bliver svar at overgå.

Hvis hans talent rakte langt med de foregående pladser, så gør han her tavlen ren og hamrer det denne gang fast med skudhuller og skarpladte rim, at han er en sand mester inden for hans felt og er dermed svær at ignorere som en rapper i en liga for sig.

MGMT / Little Dark Age

Udgangspunktet er mørke. Teknologiens fremskredende ødelæggelse af menneskelig interaktion, moderne datingformer og Trumps selvudslettende vision om at gemme hemmeligheder, hvad der åbenlyst ikke er muligt. Alt dette er rutineret undfanget i et 80′er-lydende spøgelseshus, hvor popmelodierne er så iørefaldende, at såvel ‘Me & Michael’, ‘When You Die’ som ‘Little Dark Age’ gør udskejelserne til deres til dato bedste præstation. Denne påstand mener jeg kan suppleres med en udadvendt lyst til at eksperimentere, der kan mærkes på numre som “Days Got Away”, hvilket gør pladen mere formfuldendt end noget hidtidigt udspil fra bandet samtidig med produktionernes popperlemor gør pladen til en kærkommen lytteroplevelse.

Robyn / Honey

På Honey er klubbens sveddryppende ekstase blevet erstattet af nattens sidste eftertimer, hvor kroppen nærmer sig en følelserne-ud-på-tøjet-agtig rastløshed. Robin Miriam Carlsson beviser atter en gang, at hun på trods af at have været væk i 8 år stadigvæk er skaberen af de nyeste poptrends i stedet for bare at ride med på dem.

Beach House / 7

Beach House forbliver melodiøstetens perfektionister. De er slet og ret autorer indenfor deres felt og formår på 7 at genopfinde sig selv som et dystert og tungtvejende drømmepop band, der efterhånden må opnå samme status som deres datids forbillede, Cocteau Twins. En klassiker uden sidestykke.

Christine & The Queens / Chris

Chris er et rebelsk forsøgsdyr, hvor poppen får lov at flyve frit rundt. Der bliver både testet flydende identiteter, herunder feminisme, maskulinitet og styrke, hvorfra der åbenbarer sig et triumferende vidnesbyrd om, at det til stadighed er muligt at splintre personligheder og musikalske popkonventioner og ud af det skabe et målløst og tidløst popunikum.

Amen Dunes / Freedom

Gennem frihedsberøvelsens elleve anekdotiske refleksioner lukker Damon McMahon lytteren ind i et aggressivt, men også dybt personligt erindringsportræt. Pladens korpus er bygget opad fortællinger om en alt andet end rosenrød barndom, hans famlen i spørgsmål om maskulinitet og åndløshed, moderens kamp med kræft og hans problematiske forhold til sin far. Teksterne spyttes ud som poetiske tableauer som blev de fremdyrket fra hans egen galde. Denne rammefortælling er afhængighedsskabende og samlingen af disse intense mikrokosmer er simpelthen umulig at ryste af sig.

Boblere

Snail Mail / Lush

Turbolens / II

Car Seat Headrest / Twin Fantasy

Courtney Barnett / Tell Me How

Idles / Joy as an act of Resistance

I det dialektiske forhold mellem kultiverede tanker om håb og en trodsig storsnudethed ramler personlige og politiske stridigheder sammen og skaber et skønt og småsnusket bud på post-punk i det herrens år 2018 - lige i ansigtet.

Rosaliá / El Mal Querer

Melodys Echo Chamber / Bon Voyage

Let’s Eat Grandma / Hot Pink

Janelle Monae / Dirty Computer

Nils Frahm / All Melody

Parquet Courts / Wide Awake!

Shame / Songs of Praise

Earl Sweatshirt / Some Rap Songs

Tirzah / Devotion

I betragtning:

Jean Grae & Quelle Chris / Everything Is Fine

Tierra Whack / Whack World

15 minutter. Det er hvad der skal til. Snap-chattens minimalt destillerede øjebliksbilleder af desperrassion, ekstase, kedsomhed eller hverdagstrivialitet går op i en højere enhed på dette idéværk, tankeeksperiment af et fastfokuseret underværk.

Kadhja Bonet / Childqueen

Father John Misty / Gods Favourite Costumer

Ariana Grande / Sweetener

Popprinsessen, der voksede ud af popmelodier lige så spændende som lyden af et køleskab på en varm sommerdag, og i stedet fik fremskaffet hitmogulen Max Martin til at trylle fabelagtige ‘No Tears Left To Cry’ frem og blandt andre Pharrell Williams til at skabe en produktionsmæssig tyngde gennem hele pladen med numre som ‘R.E.M’, ‘Blazed’ og ‘Borderline’ med Missy Elliot på vokalbesøg.

Marie Davidson / Working Class

Helado Negro / Island Universe

Serpentwithfeet / Soil

Fatima / And Yet It’s All Love

Tim Hecker / Konoyo

Laurel Halo / Raw Silk Uncut Wood

Aseul / ASOBI

Grouper / Grid of Points

Jon Hopkins / Singularity

Bella Boo / Fire

Peter Sommer / Elskede at drømme, drømmer om at elske

Speaker Bite Me / Future Plans

The Internet / Hive Mind

Octavian / Spaceman

Bisse / Tanmaurk

Inderst inde har vi alle afarter af samme drøm. Drømmen om samhørighed, tolerance og venligsind mellem os alle. Hvem ønsker ikke det? Fri for kontroverser, så vi i stedet kan koncentrere os om at få verdenshjørnerne til at forene sig og leve lykkeligt til vore dages ende. Eller hvad? Disse spørgsmål var at finde på Bisses magnum opus Højlandet tilbage fra 2016. Samme drømme går igen på Tanmaurk, men denne gang har drømmen fået liv i form af en lysende klar kritik.

Samfundsdebattøren og den lyriske magiker, skeptikeren og optimisten på én og samme tid, manden med fremtiden i sin hule hånd, Bisse himself, har påny smeltet kunsteriske metaller sammen til endnu en ny fortælling, denne gang om nationalfølelse og polemiske debatter om det kære kongerige Danmark pakket ind i en symfonisk orkestrering af Copenhagen Phil. Dette musikalske hamskifte har både sine smukke sider, når Bisses tekster formår at emulgere med de storladne kompositioner som på ‘Viv’ og ‘Grand Danois’. Men indimellem slår samarbejdet mellem orkestret og Bisse sprækker og falder desværre også ud af hak på ‘Himmelbjerget’ og ‘Verdens Ældste Kitesurfer’ er en akustisk ligegyldighed. På trods af det findes også mange lyspunkter, hvor han kaster forfriskende nye farver maling på et Danmarkskort, der ellers langsomt er ved at falme og gro ind ad i stedet for at se ud over eget snæversind.

Kortet han ønsker at optegne er et land, der ikke kun indeholder barndomsminder fra Mosevej og det eksistentielle møde med Kongegen, men også forargende politikere, der opfører sig som hunde. Og denne eksplicitte kritik af Danmarks grimme ansigt er et nyt kapitel i hans nu afsluttede landstrilogi, hvilket er forfriskende, omend albummets kvaliteter tynder ud mod slutningen af Tanmaurk. Drømmen kan jeg kun være enig i, men den er klarest på den første halvdel af albummet. Hist og her bliver albummet en lille smule ligegyldigt. Men det ændrer ikke ved, at jeg må hæve glasset for Bisses mod og idealisme, der er en gloværdig handling i en tid, hvor revolutionerne er få.

Anna Von Hauswolff / Dead Magic

Smerz / Have Fun

Soccer Mommy / Clean

Young Fathers / Cocoa Sugar

Nlüfer Yanya / Do You Like Pain?

Af Jens Grelck, 2019

#tilbageblik

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