#but make it clipboard 118 instead

[typicalopposite]

Oh I should not be thinking about marriage proposals for a couple we have no confirmation will be long term…

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut…

Imagine with me, if you will, Buck getting ready for a date with Tommy and there’s a knock on his door. It’s Eddie and— and he’s holding a—

“What’s with the clipboard,” Buck laughs. Eddie flicks his eyes up from where he is busy scribbling something that Buck tries to see but Eddie pulls the clipboard up so he can’t.

“You… are late,” Eddie responds — matter of factly, albeit nonsensically because… late for what? Before he can ask, Eddie swoops the pen around elegantly like he does with his signature and then tucks the board under his arm. “Let’s go.”

And then they are off on a very wild (very confusing for poor Buck) adventure of Buck being passed — with the constantly hidden from his eyes clipboard — from person to person and place to place until he finally ends up at the 118 with Athena who hands the clipboard one last time to Bobby and after some sentimental fatherly speech he gives it to Buck.

On it is a picture frame boarder and what everyone had been scribbling the whole time were their signature and little messages. In the middle where a picture would go it just says turn around.

Buck does and there’s Tommy down on one knee and his whole entire family (his whole entire world) is watching as one of the happiest days of Bucks life unfolds.

And of course he says Yes!

And yeah…. Imma need to get a google doc going for this because it’s made me feel all soft inside!

[cosyvelvetorchid]

For One Night Only.. Maybe

My new Bucktommy fake dating/clipboard Buck au!

Read on AO3 or below.

Enjoy!

🩶

**********

Chapter 1

Rating: G (for this chapter. Will be M or E later on)

w/c: 4320

Summary:

Tommy Kinard asks Evan Buckley to be his fake boyfriend for one night to keep his aunt Clara off his back about dating.

The problem begins when it goes well.

Too well.

Tommy tries to ignore the fact that he’s falling for a straight guy.

While Buck is trying to figure out what these new strange feelings he’s having mean.

**********

“Thanks again for dinner.”

“No problem, Tommy.” Chimney said clearing the dinner table. “I’m just glad we actually found the time to properly hang out”

“Yeah and not in the back of a helo in a hurricane.” Hen added.

“Anybody ready for dessert?” Chimney called from the kitchen.

“Oh, no.” Tommy patted his stomach. “Anymore food and my shirt will burst.”

“Yeah, like it’s not already pulling at the seams from your ridiculous muscles.” Hen joked. Tommy lifted up his arm into a bicep curl with a grin and Hen rolled her eyes as they laughed.

“You should definitely join me and Eddie at our pick up basketball games.” Chim said sitting back down at the table.

“I’d love to. You play as well, Evan?”

“Oh he hates basketball.” Chim answered for him.

“What?!” Tommy responded looking at Buck. “How can you hate basketball ball? It’s the sport of kings!”

Buck shrugged. “Just never interested me.” He replied honestly.

“Travesty.” Tommy teased.

“I’m gonna make coffee.” Chimney stood up.

“I’ll help.” Hen followed him into the kitchen.

“So what hobbies do you have?” Tommy asked.

“Uh, I-I love to cook.” Buck said. “Bobby’s been teaching me pretty much since I arrived at the 118.”

“Man, I miss his cooking. Those family dinners were the shit.”

Buck chuckled. “They still are. Actually he’s having a dinner this weekend. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you came too.”

“Ah, I’d love that but I got family coming to visit this weekend.”

“The queen is finally asleep.” Maddie said walking out into the living room.

“How many stories did you have to read?” Hen asked.

“Four.” She said. “In the end I had to make one up about Tommy.”

“Me?” Tommy questioned.

“Oh you’re the star of the evening—Daddy’s friend who can fly. Right now you’re the coolest person she knows.”

“She’s not wrong.” Tommy joked, popping his collar.

“Maybe I should tell her the story of Maurice.” Hen said.

“Oh, come on!” He replied.

“Who’s Maurice?” Buck asked. Hen and Chimney looked at each other and laughed.

“Well..” Chimney began the story as Tommy shook his head in embarrassment.

*****

Buck sat at his island eating his breakfast checking his texts. He’d received one from Maddie thanking him for coming over for dinner. It never failed to make him laugh the she always did that, even though there was no need—he was her brother.

It had been a nice evening all around. He loved getting to spend time with Jee, who didn’t miss the opportunity to make Uncle Buck promise that next time he came over they’d bake cookies, and he’d enjoyed getting to know Tommy more.

He’d heard the stories from Hen and Chim about Tommy’s time at the 118, and he knew that he’d helped them out with that fire at Doheny park years ago. They had talked about him with fondness how it would be nice to catch up with him- though neither of them thought it would take a capsized cruise ship and a category 5 hurricane to do it.

Tommy was just so cool. But in an understated way—he didn’t talk or walk like he thought his shit didn’t stink, but instead seemed quite humble and on more than one occasion seemed a little uncomfortable when Hen or Chim were praising him. Which just made him even cooler.

What Buck noticed the most was just how masculine he was. He was tall, broad and muscular. His hair was similar to a regulation military cut, perhaps a little longer and his lower face was caressed with dark stubble. The cleft was something Buck couldn’t stop himself from looking at the most. He’d always admire the feature on a man. And Tommy was indeed a man.

But his masculinity what balanced, however, by his deeply blue eyes surrounded by long dark lashes. He was somehow incredibly handsome and equally pretty. Strangely, Buck couldn’t stop looking at him.

As he threw his breakfast plate into the sink a knock on his door echoed in the apartment and he opened his door to the last person he expected.

“T-Tommy.”

The man smiled. “Hey, Evan. Can I come in?”

“Uh, sure.” He stepped aside to let him through.

“Wow! Maybe I’m working at the wrong station.” Tommy said as he looked around Bucks living space.

“Is-is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” He said waving away Buck’s concerns. “I actually have a, uh, favour to ask.” He scratched the back of his head. For as confident he’d seemed so far, this morning he seemed.. nervous? Perhaps not nervous but certainly less confident that he had been the evening before.

From the moment Tommy had met them at Harbour station weeks ago, he’d done nothing but ooze confidence. His body language, the way he spoke, the way he did his job—Buck had watched in awe at the way his hands delicately glided over the controls as he flew the helicopter back after the cruise ship rescue. In the handful of times they’d met since then, Tommy always seemed to come across quite squared away and sure of himself.

“Uh, sure.” Buck walked over to the counter. “You want a coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“So what’s the favour? Nothing illegal is it?” Buck teased pouring them both a mug.

“I- What if it was?” Tommy enquired with a curious look to his eyes.

“That would depend on what it was.”

“Wait, so there’s some illegal activity you would be willing to engage in if I asked?” Tommy raised an eyebrow. Actually if he looked at Buck with those eyes Buck probably be willing to do a lot.

“Well, like murder? No. Breaking into a lab to rescue animals—I’d be down.” He answered placing Tommy’s coffee mug in front of him on the island.

“Thanks, and duly noted.” He chuckled. “No, it’s nothing like that. You remember last night I mentioned I had family coming to town?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s my aunt Clara who’s coming.” Tommy said.

“Is she not very nice?”

“No, she’s great. Practically raised me after my parents-“ He abruptly stopped himself from finishing the sentence. “She’s a great lady. The problem is that from the moment I came out to her a couple of years ago she has constantly been trying to set me up with men she knows. And, God love the woman, but her taste in men is awful.” Buck couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you wanting me to set you up with someone? ‘Cause, I’m sorry but I don’t think I know any single gay men.”

“Oh, no, that’s not- That wasn’t the favour.”

“Oh?”

“I’m actually not looking to date anybody, which she cannot seem to accept. But, when she wouldn’t let it go on the phone last week, I kinda, sorta lied and told her I already had a boyfriend.” He admitted.

“And now she’s coming to visit..” Buck said picking up what he was getting at.

“She’s expecting me to introduce her to him.”

“Oh.” Buck responded.

“So-“ He elongated the word. “I was wondering if you would consider.. pretending to be my boyfriend for an evening?

“Oh.” Buck said again. He had zero idea of what the favour was going to be but he never would have guess that.

“She’s only on town for 1 night and it would just be a couple of hours for dinner, which I’ll pay for so you’ll get a free meal out of it.”

“Why me?” Buck asked, truly confused as to why Tommy would pick him of all people. Tommy was effortlessly cool and accomplished—Buck was a dork, who never shut up.

“Two reasons, really. Firstly, I don’t have anybody else to ask. She met Chimney a couple of times back when I was at the 118 and knows he’s straight. That leaves Bobby, which, absolutely not, or Eddie and no offence to him but he screams straight guy—no way he could pull off queer.”

Buck laughed at the true statement. “But you think I could?”

“God, I hope so.” Tommy said. “Plus, you’re closer to my type anyway so it’s more likely that Clara would believe it.”

Tommy’s face was kind of adorable, really. Buck wasn’t sure if he was deliberately putting on those puppy dog eyes, but they were working, regardless.

“What would I need to do?”

“Just have dinner with us.”

“That’s it?” Buck asked.

“You’re expecting more? I’m not sure that would be appropriate at the dinner table, Evan.” Tommy winked and Buck’s cheeks immediately pinked up.

“That’s not what I meant!” He protested to Tommy’s amusement. “I just meant like, would I have to hold your hand, have my arm around you etc?”

“You wouldn’t have to. Not if that would make you feel uncomfortable, I mean.” He explained.

“I-I don’t mind. When is the dinner?”

“Friday night.”

“Okay. That gives us 3 days to plan.” Buck said unlocking his phone and opening the notes app.

“I’m sorry.. plan?” Tommy said confused.

“Well yeah.. If we’re going to make this believable we need to make sure we get our stories straight.”

“She’s my aunt, not the Spanish Inquisition, Evan.”

“And what happens if-if.. Say I order you a drink and it’s one you hate and she knows that you hate it.. wouldn’t that be weird? Or-or if she asks how we met and we give different answers.”

“I think you’re overthinking this a little.” Tommy said gently.

“I think you’re under thinking this a lot.” Buck countered.

Tommy looked at Buck for a few seconds and sighed resolutely. “I’m not going to win this am I?”

“Nope.” Buck replied with a grin.

Little did Tommy know that he’d just met Clipboard Buck.

***

“So, what sort of plan do you have in mind?” Tommy asked as they walked through a local park. It was a beautiful sunny and warm day—the first in almost a week of cloudy, drizzly weather. If nothing else, Tommy could at least get some vitamin D out of this ridiculous plan.

The thing is he admired Evan’s commitment to the cause, but it really was just going to be for one night of dinner. And it’s not like Clara was going to torture them for information to test their “relationship.”

But, though he wouldn’t admit it even on threat of death, Tommy actually found Evan’s excitement of it all quite adorable.

“We need to learn basic things about each other like favourite foods, where we grew up etc. You know—stuff your partner would know after.. how long have we been together?”

“2 months.”

“Right, after 2 months together. But we don’t have a long time to do it.”

“So, we need the cliff notes of each other is what you’re saying.”

“Exactly.” Buck said.

“Is there a form I could fill in for this?”

“See, I just learned something about you.” Buck said almost triumphantly.

“What?”

“You’re quite bitchy.” Buck informed him. There was no malice or judgement in Buck’s voice—it was actually one his favourite qualities in Tommy so far.

“I am not!” He protested. Buck just gave him a look. “Yeah well, you.. yap. You’re a yapper.” His face was smug as though he’d figured out something nobody else knew.

“I know.” Buck said without a hint of shame. And he truly wasn’t ashamed. A few years ago, he’d have thought differently. On more than one occasion Taylor Kelly, his ex girlfriend, had called him a yapper and never meant it affectionately.

After that ended, he started working on a newer and improved version of himself. (Although he couldn’t remember if he was supposed to be Buck 4.0 or Buck 5.0. So what? At least he was trying to improve, right?)

“We could play 20 questions or something like that?” Buck asked.

“I’m sorry are we 14?” Tommy replied.

“Sorry.” Buck said looking down. But Tommy could tell that he thought he’d done something wrong. Maybe Evan was right about his bitchiness. Guilt pricked at his chest.

“I’m sorry. You’re right—it’s actually a good idea.” Tommy conceded and Buck threw him a skeptical look. “I promise.” He smiled softly. “I guess I was just being bitchy.” He added with a deliberate smirk. Buck playfully rolled his eyes before continuing to walk alongside Tommy.

“I guess I’ll start—What’s your favourite movie?” Buck asked.

“Love Actually.”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“What?! How have you not seen it?” Tommy asked.

Buck shrugged. “Just not a big movie watcher. My sister and are were kinda sheltered from a lot of movies and shows as a kid so never really got into them. I love documentaries though.”

“Noted. Worst injury you’ve had on the job?”

“That would be the engine that crushed my leg.” Buck answered. Tommy stopped still.

“Wait that was you?!” Buck nodded. “I remember watching that on tv.”

Buck scoffed. “So did my girlfriend at the time. She didn’t handle it well. Broke up with me as soon as I got out of hospital.”

“Charming.” Tommy responded sarcastically. “How long did it take to heal?”

“Uh, about 5 months for my leg to heal to pass my physical, but then I threw a blood clot in my lung and set me back another 2 months thanks to the blood thinners.” Buck explained.

Tommy couldn’t not notice the sadness on Bucks face as he remembered that time in his life. He recognised the look from his own reflection when he caught himself thinking about his own past. He tried not to allow himself to do that much as it was too painful. But every so often those memories would slide their way into to his consciousness.

“What about you?” Buck asked.

“Chopper went down in Afghanistan. Got a punctured lung and broke my arm in two places.”

“You were in the military?” Buck asked, surprised.

“Army.” Tommy replied. “Enlisted at 18. It’s why I transferred to Harbor—I missed flying.”

“I bet it feels like having a super power.” Buck said back.

“On occasion.” He said.

“Man, I would love to be a be able to fly.”

“I can give you lessons if you want?” He offered. 

“Really?” Buck questioned excitedly.

Tommy nodded. “It’s the least I could do for helping me out.”

“I don’t think that’s equal.” Buck argued. “At least let me buy you a beer. Actually, speaking of—what do you like to drink?”

“Like every other boring cis male I mostly drink beer. Occasionally a nice red wine. You?”

“I like an IPA. Just keep me away from the Margaritas.”

“Do I want to know?” Tommy eyed him up.

“I kissed Lucy.” He admitted, embarrassed.

“Donato?!”

“Yeah. Actually, she kissed me first for the record. But I-I, uh.. had a girlfriend at the time.” 

“Oh.” He said elongating the word.

“Yeah, not my finest moment.” Buck said.

“Are you still together?” He enquired.

“Oh, no—we broke up a few months after that. Different reason though.”

Tommy didn’t push the subject. They continued leisurely walking around the park trading basic personal information: Where they were from—Tommy was born and bred in L.A, Buck from Pennsylvania; music tastes—Buck liked pop music and whatever was on the radio on his drive in to work, Tommy liked what Buck teased as dad rock; Favourite place to eat—Tommy loved a local pizza joint, Micellis, Buck liked Sushi Palace.

It was, admittedly, not as hellish an afternoon as Tommy had been expecting. In fact it had actually been quite pleasant. There was an ease talking to Evan. He wasn’t arrogant or judgmental like a lot of men Tommy had met that were Evan’s age. Instead, though he was confident, he was also open; wasn’t ashamed of the things he liked and certainly didn’t seem to be putting on any airs and graces to impress Tommy.

**********

“Hi, Evan.” Tommy answered the phone just as he sat down in Habors rec room. “What’s up?”

“What are you wearing?” 

“Wow, and so early in our relationship. I dig it.” 

“Hilarious, Tommy.” Buck said as Tommy chuckled. “I’m talking about tomorrow night.” 

“Uh, I don’t know. Haven’t really thought about. I’ll probably just grab a shirt from my closet. I might even wear clean jeans. Why?”

“I was thinking we should coordinate.”

“It’s just a casual dinner, Evan. It doesn’t really matter all that much.” 

“But I-I want to make a good impression on your aunt.” 

Tommy couldn’t help but smile at his ridiculous new friend. Chimney had told him that he was the type to go all in with whatever he did and he wasn’t kidding. 

“Evan, you really don’t have to worry. I’m sure you’ll look great whatever you wear, and honestly Clara isn’t going to care.”

“I can’t help it—I’ve never been on a date with a guy before.” He said earnestly. “You asked me to help and I want to do a good job for you.”

And didn’t that make Tommy feel a certain way he definitely shouldn’t be. 

“I appreciate that, Evan. And you for helping me. But really, you don’t have to worry. I promise.”

“Okay.” Buck said back but Tommy heard the concern in his voice.

He was probably going to regret his next suggestion. “If it will make you feel better, why don’t you come to my place before dinner and you can pick my outfit.”

“Really?” Tommy could practically hear the grin on Bucks face.

“Really.”

“Cool.” 

**********

Tommy walked into his house desperate for a shower. He’d been working ground support on a landfill fire and smelled like what could only be described as burnt plastic wrapped in fish. 

He took three steps up his stairs when his doorbell rang. He’d hoped it would be Larry across the street whom he hated for being the neighbourhood busybody who would complain about anything and everything. He’d love Larry to get a big old whiff of him right now. 

He was surprised however to see his aunt on the other side of the door. 

“Aunt Clara? I thought we were going to be meeting at the restaurant.”

“I wanted to surprise my favourite nephew.” Her small 5 foot frame stepped forward and she reached up to grab Tommys face, planting a kiss onto his cheek; her long black flowing kaftan, despite her small stature, almost enveloping him. 

“I’m your only nephew.” He reminded her which she ignored. 

“Grab my bag, darling.” She gestured behind herself. “Did something die in here?” She remarked.

“Oh, sorry that’s me. I was just about to have a shower.” She waved her hand in front of her face trying to waft away the ripe stench coming from him.

“Is there a problem with your hotel?” Tommy brought her bag inside as she turned and made her way into the kitchen. 

“Some issue with their power. They’ve cancelled all reservations for tonight. I hope you have better coffee this time, and not that cheap crap that tastes like it’s already been through somebody.” She opened and closed his cabinets until she found his coffee, which as it happened was better than what he used to buy.

“So, you’re staying here?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Uh, no. No, of course not. It’s- I just wasn’t expecting it. I haven’t set up the guest room.” He said.

She waved her hand; the sound of her beaded jewellery clacking as she moved. “You don’t have to go to the trouble, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Tommy looked at her incredulously. “I wouldnt be caught dead sleeping on a couch—I have standards” - that’s a direct quote from you.” 

“People change, Thomas.” She argued as she squinted at Tommys coffee machine trying to figure out what buttons to press. “What happened to just using a simple coffee pot? Your generation are obsessed with these damn robot machines.” 

Tommy chuckled. “Aunt Clara, you go sit down and I’ll make the coffee.” 

“Thank you, darling.” She affectionately tapped the side of his face. She stopped after taking a step past him. “On second thought you better take that shower first—you smell like my first husband. After he died.” 

***

Tommy emerged from his shower feeling like a brand new man. He threw on some sweats and a T-shirt and headed downstairs to make his aunt coffee.

He found her standing in front of his fireplace admiring the photograph of his mother that sat on top of the hearth. His mom was standing by his grandmothers Christmas tree with a 1 year old Tommy in her arms. Her smile was big and happy—the picture taken back at a time when her smiled outnumbered her cry’s.

“She was so beautiful.” Clara remarked hearing Tommy enter the room.

“Yeah.” He agreed.

“Shame she met your piece of shit father. Actually, that’s not entirely fair—she got you of it,” she patted his upper arm. “The only good thing to ever come from him.”

She walked back over to the sofa and sat down, tucking her crossed legs underneath herself.

“Speaking of pictures—I want to see one of this Evan boy.”

Shit. Evan. He was going to be coming over soon and judging by the nerves he’d already had at the prospect of tonights dinner, he was probably going to shit himself entirely when he turns up and gets an early and unexpected introduction.

Also, how was he going to explain not having any photos of Evan? Perhaps his reassurances to Evan that tonight would be fine was preemptive. 

“I- it’s a new phone so I don’t have any pictures.” He said on the fly and hoped she’d believe it.

“What about his social media? You kids post everything in there these days.”

“I don’t really use it.” That was the truth. Lucy had made him set up an instagram account once but he’d posted one picture of a sunset taken from the helm of his helo and that was it.

“Oh you should, darling—I’ve met some wonderful men from instagram. I haven’t paid for a dinner in months!” She said happily.

“Aunt Clara!” Tommy chastised “You can’t just meet random men from the internet! Do you know how dangerous that is?”

“Sweetheart, when you get to my age, danger is just a little extra excitement.” She told him “Besides, a woman has needs that must be-“

“Woah!” Tommy threw his hands up. “I so do not need to know the rest of that sentence.”

Clara rolled her eyes. “It’s 2024, Thomas—women like sex too. It’s not something to be ashamed about.”

“Yes, I get that, and agree. However I don’t need to know about your sex life, thank you.” He told her and she laughed. “Besides, since when did you use social media?”

“I told you—to meet men.”

“You joined social media to get laid?” He said; incredulity all over his face.

“For company, Thomas. At our age people are dropping like flies.”

“You’re 62, not 90.” He reminded her.

“Yes but the men my age that haven’t eaten or drank themselves into a heart attack, all want housewives; women to wipe their asses for them like it’s 1950.” She shook her head. “I want to spend my final years on this earth eating good food, drinking fantastic wine and having mind blowing orgasms,” Tommy grimaced. “And only the younger ones know how to give those.”

“How.. how young are we talking?” Tommy asked mildly terrified of the answer.

“The last one was..” she looked up at the ceiling as she recalled the answer. “41.”

“Christ, Clara he’s my age!”

“And all the better for it.” She winked.

“Okay!” He abruptly stood up. “We’re done with this conversation—I’m going to make that coffee.” He quickly made for the kitchen to the sound of Clara’s laughs behind him.

He closed the kitchen door and pulled out his phone to call Buck, swearing to himself when there was no answer because presumably it meant that he was already driving to Tommy’s.

He made himself and Clara coffee then hovered near front door to hopefully catch Evan as he arrived. Luck was on his side when he spotted the jeep pulling up against the curb. He quickly ran to meet him.

Buck lifted out a bunch of hangers, each holding a different shirt. “Hey, so I brought a couple of options for-“

“She’s here.” Tommy interrupted.

“Huh?”

“My aunt. She’s here. Turned up like an hour ago.”

“I thought we were meeting her at the restaurant?” Buck asked.

“So did I. But there’s an issue with her hotel so she’s staying here tonight.”

“Wow. Okay.” Buck looked toward the house to see a woman with dark curly hair wiggling her fingers at him with a smile. He took in a deep breath. “We haven’t discussed our relationship, yet. Like-like who asked who out, what we like to do on dates, and-“

Tommy placed his hands into Bucks shoulders to, let’s be honest, shut him up. “It’ll be fine. But.. I should probably have warned you that she’s.. well, she’s not like most women her age. She’s remarkably progressive and very open about a lot of things. She also sometimes forgets her boundaries, so prepare for some invasive personal questions.”

“You couldn’t have told me all this before?” Buck argued.

“I was going to when you got here but I wasn’t expecting her first. If you don’t want to do this I completely understand. I can tell her your sick or-“

It was Bucks turn to interrupt. “No, I want to. I promised I would help. It’s fine.” He gave a somewhat nervous smile.

“Okay.” Tommy nodded. He turned and held out his hand for Buck to take. “You ready?”

Buck slid his fingers into Tommy’s and was immediately surprised at how soft his hands were. Tommy led them up the path and into the house.

[fanficsbysteve]

Passing of Presents

Note: Oh look, it’s a “sequel” to Jeremy Crow. I had this idea, and then I had a different idea. So, I mashed them together by the end. Hope everyone likes it. They are a mash of Toy Story 3, and The Velveteen Rabbit.

You should read Jeremy Crow first before this one.

***

Tommy sat on the bed, holding Jeremy Crow out in front of him. It had been 7 years since Evan had taken him into the Repair Shop he had found online. And this was worth every cent they paid to get him fixed up. He had new ‘feathers’ on the outside of his body, he had been restuffed with new soft cotton, and had his eyes repainted and then glazed in. He appeared how Tommy imagined he would look if he had gotten him brand new instead of second hand.

Jeremy Crow had a good life with Tommy. Fending off nightmares, keeping him company in his darkest times. But 5 years ago, Tommy’s life had started to turn completely around. He had gone to therapy to start handling his PTSD in a more productive way. He hadn’t been having nightmares as often and had been testing to see if they would come back by sometimes not having Jeremy with him, or Hubie for that matter. About the same time as he started therapy, Evan had moved in with him. They had settled on Tommy’s house because, well, it was a house and not a loft. As nice as the loft was, it didn’t compare. They had also started to host weekly BBQs for the 118 and the 217 at their house, Evan, however, was the clipboard tyrant when it came to getting everything organized for those events. Tommy wouldn’t admit it, but he found clipboard Evan extremely attractive.

Tommy thought back. They had been living together for 2 years by this point, and Tommy had been leaving Jeremy on a shelf above their bed. Somewhere he could watch over. He was testing the waters. Instead of holding Jeremy at night, he spent his nights holding Evan instead. And Evan really enjoyed that. Though Evan also had a habit of wiggling his butt against Tommy, attempting to get a rise out of him. It usually worked and always lead to some fun times. Tommy did feel a little guilty about making Jeremy watch that. But only a little.

Tommy chuckled to himself. He looked at Jeremy in his hands and smiled. It was time, “Well Jeremy,” Tommy said, “You’ve been one of my best friends for decades now. You were my only friend for so long.”

Tommy brought him close and into a hug, “But I think that it’s time that we parted ways with each other. You always know that I still will have a special place in my soul and heart just for you. But I think it’s time you go somewhere that you will be appreciated.”

Tommy stood up and put Jeremy next to Hubie. Hubie still looked the same as when Evan got him for Tommy. Both Jeremy and Hubie were in separate boxes. Tommy placed a lid on the boxes, each with a different name, and then placed them into a bag. He wasn’t good at wrapping gifts. It would always look like a blind T-Rex had wrapped it if he wrapped it. Better to just do a gift bag.

Tommy walked down the stairs into the living room, Evan was already in there, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I think it’s time,” Tommy replied, “I know it’s time. And they are going to a good home.”

Evan smiled and took the bag from Tommy, he attached a tag to the and held his hand out to Tommy, “Ready to go over then? The invite said 1 pm and we are going to be fashionably late already.”

“What else do they expect from the Guncles?” Tommy said.

“Guncles?” Evan said, “I know you are a Guncle. Not sure what I would be.”

“Buncle?” Tommy said, mildly panicking that he was being offensive to Evan, “I just figured having a plural word would be easier.”

Evan smiled, “I was just teasing. I know what you meant.”

Tommy playfully punched Evan, “Let’s just get going,” Tommy went towards the door, “Maddie’s going to kill us if we are later than fashionably.”

“She won’t kill me at least,” Evan joked as he followed, “Mildly maim probably.”

Tommy shook his head, and they head out to the truck. Evan, jumping into the passenger seat, asked, “Why don’t you let me drive the truck?”

“Well, we always need a passenger princess,” Tommy joked, “Someone to handle the music, and just be all around awesome.”

“Well thank you for calling me the Royalty that I am,” Evan joked back. They started driving towards Maddie and Howie’s House. The Han’s didn’t live too far from Tommy and Evan. Just far enough that they needed to drive to get there in a timely manner, but it wasn’t more than a 15 minute drive. Usually, they would walk over but with the things they needed to bring with them, all of Evan’s baking, gifts for the kids, all kinds of stuff.

“We could have just piled everything into the wagon and walked,” Tommy said, “Would have been faster,” They were currently stuck in traffic.

Evan looked offended, “Firstly, if we had walked, we would be later than we will already be. Second, with all the bumps, all the baking I’ve done over the past two days would be ruined.”

“A ‘ruined’ cookie,” Tommy attempted air quotes while driving, “Is still edible. It’s not like it was underbaked.”

“But you eat with your eyes first,” Evan defended, “A ruined cookie is not as appetizing as a perfect cookie.”

“I’ll let you have this one only because we are going to be at their place soon,” Tommy laughed, “And I’ll eat all the ruined cookies that we have just to prove my point.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Evan laughed as well, “I’ll be sorting out the cookies when we get there anyway. Have to make the platter look nice.”

Tommy pulled into the driveway of Maddie and Howie’s house, behind their minivan. Once they had gathered up everything, they walked up to the door and rang the bell. There was a flurry of jumbled footsteps running towards the door before the door swung open, “UNCLE BUCK!! UNCLE TOMMY!!”

Two children stood before them, with a teenager standing in the back, trying not to look like she was interested. One of the children, a boy, was around 7 years old, while the other, another girl, was maybe 4, “I’d pick you up and give you each a hug if I had any hands left,” Evan joked, “How about you let us in, and we can get to the hugs.”

The children moved out of the way so Tommy and Evan could get into the house, “About time,” came a yell from the kitchen. Howie was sitting at a table, attempting to put together what looked like a nuclear bomb, but it was just one of the many toys the kids would have gotten, and Maddie was in the kitchen, cooking away.

Evan put the gifts down and gave each of the kids a quick hug. Then he went directly to the kitchen, “You didn’t follow the step by step plan I sent you did you,” he said with a smile as he arrived.

Tommy placed his stack of items down as well and gave each of the kids, including the teenager, a longer hug than Evan had, “Come here Daniel” he brought the 7 year old boy into a tight hug, “and you too, Anne,” He pulled the 4 year old into a hug as well. He kept them in the hug for a while, “You have to hug someone for at least 20 seconds for it to work,” Tommy explained.

“20 seconds?” Anne asked.

“Yeah,” Tommy explained, “You need to hug someone for 20 seconds and it will have some health benefits. I don’t know what kind exactly, but your Uncle Buck read about it. I’d go and ask him for a longer hug and ask him why 20 seconds is so important.”

The two smaller kids giggled and ran away into the kitchen to find their other uncle, “And what about you Jee? A hug for your Uncle Tommy?”

Jee rolled her eyes, but she smiled as she came to give Tommy a hug, “I saw you just last week,” she said into his midriff, she wasn’t quite tall enough that her head was at his chest height, but she was taller than it being at his stomach, “You helped with my homework.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want another hug,” Tommy laughed. He let her go, “Alright let’s get to the tree so I can put some stuff under it and then I can help your Mom and Uncle with the dinner. Based on what I’m hearing in the kitchen, they will need a mediator soon and your Dad really likes to just watch the drama unfold far too much. Maybe help him out with that toy he’s currently struggling with.”

“He really does,” Jee laughed. Tommy grabbed the pile of gifts they had brought, including the bag that held Jeremy and Hubie, and put them under a beautifully decorated tree in the living room. Buck had come over to help with it, and he had developed a way to hang the baubles that made it both visually appealing, while keeping the most space for other items such as garland and lights.

After placing the gifts under the tree, Tommy went back to the entry and grabbed the containers of baked goods that Buck had made for the night. There were two containers just for cookies, one held a pumpkin pie, another held several different loaves that Howie had specifically asked for, “How are things going in here?” Tommy walked into the kitchen. Maddie was beating Buck off with a wooden spoon as he attempted to try and get the timing of everything back on track. He had his clipboard out.

“Clipboard Buck is in the house tonight,” Howie joked, “I would stay out of there if I were you.”

“Oh, I know Clipboard Evan quite well,” Tommy shuddered as he pulled a chair out at the table and sat with Howie, “The first time we held Thanksgiving at our place,” Tommy shuddered, “I put the potatoes on 10 minutes too early and I got a 30 minute lecture on following the timings on the timetable. He also comes out before all the BBQs at our place.”

“He is not to be reckoned with when he has his clipboard out,” Howie went back to building the item in front of him, “It’s like you need a doctorate in rocket science to put these things together.”

“Should have invited Karen and Hen if you needed that,” Tommy joked, “You just have me who can read instructions.”

“Well, be my guest if you can make heads or tails of it,” Howie pushed the instructions over towards Tommy.

It took them about 20 minutes of deciphering and eventually the toy was put together and Daniel was happily playing with it. Maddie and Evan had made a truce and were successfully cooking, “When can we open Uncle Buck and Uncle Tommy’s presents?” a voice cut the calm.

Anne was waiting anxiously to open them, “When we are finished dinner sweetie,” Maddie said, “Its almost done.”

Tommy looked at Evan and he just mouthed, “Not even close.”

“But I want to open them now,” Anne stomped her foot and whined.

“Maybe let her and Daniel open one to keep the peace?” Tommy suggested.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Howie said, “Uncle Tommy, would you go get something?”

Tommy left the room and went and grabbed the bag that he had placed both Hubie and Jeremy into. He brought the bag into the dining room where both Anne and Daniel were waiting, “Now we put something special and unique into this bag just for the two of you,” Tommy looked at Anne and Daniel, “We need you to take care of them ok? They are old and need a new home. You think you can give that to them?”

Anne and Daniel both nodded their heads. Tommy smiled and handed the bag over. The two boxes had been labeled already. One for Daniel, one for Anne. The two children took the boxes with their name on them and opened them. Jeremy and Hubie sat staring back at the children. Hubie at Anne, and Jeremy at Daniel, “Does he have a name?” Anne asked as she pulled Hubie out of the box. Howie and Maddie were standing together looking at their children opening gifts while Evan hovered behind. Tommy knew that Evan was hovering to make sure that he was ok with this.

“Well, I used to call this one,” Tommy pointed at the penguin, “Hubie,” He then pointed at the crow, “And that one was named Jeremy. But you can name them whatever you want. I just want you to know that they are old, so you need to be careful with them. As I said they need new homes and new kids to play with.”

Anne pulled Hubie into a big hug, “I love him,” she announced as she stood up and dragging Hubie along with here came and gave Tommy the biggest hug.

Daniel looked at Jeremy. Tommy could see something in Daniel’s eye as he looked at the stuffed crow. He recognized it as the same sense of love that Tommy had when he first got Jeremy all those many years ago, “Thank you,” Daniel whispered. He also walked over and gave Tommy a big hug. Anne had already moved on to hugging Evan at this point.

Tommy took this moment to whisper in Daniel’s ear, “Jeremy used to be mine when I was a little boy. He helped me through lots of things growing up. So, I want you to have him now. And when you have a family of your own, I want you to pass this down to your family as well. So, he can always be there to help everyone when they are growing up,” Tommy looked around conspiratorially, “And there is a story that if a stuffed animal like Jeremy is loved fully and completely by someone, they will turn real.”

“Really?” Daniel looked awed by this idea, “I’ll love him so much that he turns real one day.”

“That’s all he wants,” Tommy said to Daniel, “Now lets let Uncle Buck and your Mom get dinner ready.”

***

Tommy and Buck were sitting in their living room, both too full to move anywhere. Evan had to undo the belt and button on his pants, “So full,” He moaned stretching out, “I’m going to not have to eat for a week.”

“With all the leftovers Maddie sent home with us,” Tommy replied, “I don’t think we will need to cook for the next week.”

“Oh, I have plans for those leftovers,” Evan joked. He then looked over at Tommy, “How are you doing? I know that had to have been hard passing Jeremy along like that.”

“Honestly it really wasn’t,” Tommy said, “And I added a little extra bit of something for Daniel,” Tommy smiled to himself, “I told him that if he loved Jeremy fully, then Jeremy would turn real.”

Evan chuckled, “That’s one way to make sure that he doesn’t get destroyed.”

Tommy smiled. He looked out the window and gasped, “Look,” Tommy said as reached out for Evan’s hand and leaned forward. Sitting on the banister of their front porch was a pitch black crow, just staring in at them. Tommy looked at the crow for a minute before it flew off.

“Jeremy was just here,” Tommy breathed still staring at the spot on the porch where he saw the crow sitting. He felt Evan sit up next to him and look.

“Well, you did love him fully and completely,” Evan said, “Giving him away to someone else was the last sign of loving him fully. Now he could become a real crow for you.”

Tommy felt tears welling up in his eyes and he leaned back into the couch, Evan pulling him into a hug. That was the perfect ending for Tommy, “Maybe he did.”

The two of them curled up on the couch, too exhausted and full of food to move. They snuggled up, Tommy curling up into Evan and he fell into a peaceful sleep. His dreams were of a crow flying freely among the city’s skyscrapers, the wind lifting him up to heights that Tommy could only dream of seeing like he does. Jeremy had visited him to say Thank You, Tommy knew it was what happened. And now Tommy was at peace. Curled up with his husband on a couch that was bought specifically for snuggling on, Tommy sighed and had the most restful sleep he had ever had.

***                

Note: I wrote this on Christmas Eve (it went extremely fast) and edited it to the best of my ability on Christmas Day morning so I could post it for you all to read. Let me know what you think of it all. Happy Holidays to everyone for whatever you are celebrating today.

I haven't posted this on AO3 yet cause everyone on here seems to love Jeremy Crow and the notes I'm getting on it made me weepy so I want you all to get it first. I'll probably post it there tomorrow morning before I go Boxing Day shopping.

[cecilyv]

wip wednesday

I'm making @liminalmemories21 write sports ball. Well, let's be fair -- I'm writing sports ball references and she's writing all the "wtf the are you talking about, none of this makes any sense," parts.

Buck/Tommy, 9-1-1

++

“So you found the picture.”

“When I was looking for the manual,” Buck agrees, “I didn’t know you played baseball. I played football-- “ 

Tommy snorts, “Of course you did.” 

And hey, “Hey!” 

Tommy squeezes his shoulders and steps back. “You kind of have a thing for running headlong into danger, Evan, I’m not sure if you noticed.” 

The end of his thought is muffled, like he’s talking with his shirt over his head, and Buck twists in his seat to watch as Tommy drops his shirt at his feet and starts popping the buttons on his pants, and “Oh, hey, no distracting me, you played baseball--” 

“I was drafted out of high school,” Tommy says, as he kicks off his pants and reaches for Buck’s hand, tugging him up, kissing him softly. “Enlisted in the army instead.” He shrugs and looks down the hallway, “Can I distract you now?” 

Turns out, the answer is definitely, yes. 

------

and:

Now that it’s all out there, Tommy really opens up about things Buck never heard him talk about before -- which mostly, it seems, is how much Tommy hates the Dodgers. But he puts his hatred aside for the good of the group -- he’s got a friend who made it to the show but is now on the training staff, one of the guys from his old Little League days. He sets Tommy up with a suite at Dodger stadium.

"Who," Eddie hisses as they bypass all the lines at the park heading for one of the boxes, "exactly does Tommy know?  Is he secretly a mob boss who moonlights at the LAFD?"

Buck does actually know the answer to this, and not because he'd wondered that once or twice too.  But letting Eddie dangle is more fun, so he just raises his eyebrows and shrugs.  "He knows a guy,” and Eddie sighs, and Buck tries to distract him, “Did you know Chavez Ravine used to be a neighborhood?” 

Ravi and Tommy bond about the unfairness of the Dodgers getting Shohei Ohtani for steal (like, a literal steal, Tommy spends 20 minutes trying to explain it to Buck, who just nods and backs away slowly) and decide that they’re going to the Angels game next time (heartbreak and bad seats be damned). None of them are actually Dodger fans, except Hen, who’s fully decked out in her blue and white and they try not to hold that against her. 

They all cheer when Station 118 is welcomed on the big scoreboard in the outfield. 

During the game, while everyone else mills around, grabbing food, gabbing, and halfheartedly cheering, Tommy sits with a clipboard, pencil and complicated sheet of paper that he dutifully fills out after every pitch. Buck sits down next to him, watches for a while and then Tommy quietly starts explaining the scorecard and all its abbreviations and rules. 

It does make the time go faster.

[faramirsonofgondor]

Reasons why I think Buck might have OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) as someone with OCPD and ADHD

He seems very preoccupied with his work, lists, systems, and order. Especially when he’s in “clipboard Buck” mode

OCPD usually starts in your teens to early 20s, and can be caused by trauma and feeling like you need to be “perfect”

Perfectionism and extreme focus on working (the way he was incredibly determined to get back to work during the Lawsuit Era)

Inability to let things go even when they lose their worth

Inability to share or delegate work to others for fear it won’t be done right (while Buck very often chooses to be the one to take risks on the job because he doesn’t want others to get hurt, this could be a part of a moral/methodical obsession. To him, Buck wouldn’t be doing his job correctly if he let one of his coworkers get injured when he could be the one injured instead)

Being obsessive, judgemental, and inflexible in matters of morals and judgement (this literally reminds me of S1 ep1 when Buck didn’t want that teen mom to ride in the ambulance)

Difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships with others (again S1 Buck and lawsuit era)

Excessive doubt and conscientiousness

Rigidity and stubbornness

Compelled to do things a certain way

Low threshold for humiliation, criticism, and emotional hurt

Bye why did I find a med journal that says “loved ones on the receiving end of the relationship will experience exhaustion, unhappiness, and frustration” like Lawsuit era who???? (ok but this journal is lowkey so critical of people with OCPD wtf 😭)

Obviously not all of these things are stuff that Buck does throughout the entire show but I think S1 and a bit of early S2 era Buck was more obsessed and preoccupied with his own morals and as he matured he bent his behavior more towards following the rules at the 118 and he became obsessed with his work and doing his job as best as he can. I think part of this duality stems from the fact that in his teens he would’ve felt pressured to adhere to the standards his parents set, with the only times he really went against them being when he would injure himself for their attention because in his mind the right method to get someone’s attention is through injury (which we see come up multiple times throughout the show). However, as he entered his early 20s he got stuck into a routine of traveling from place to place and learning new skills, which probably would’ve impacted his ability to be preoccupied over his works rules/systems and would’ve probably caused him to obsess more over morals, as we see when he quits the marines because they don’t align with his approach to morals and emotion.

**Also I know some people might be confused when I say early S1 Buck had an obsession with morals considering he slept around, stole the fire truck, etc. but I want to point out that with OCPD your own rules surrounding morals and judgment might not be completely logical, and more “Black and white” so Buck might not have seen casual sex as morally wrong (which it’s not, but I digress) and he probably didn’t see an issue with stealing the fire truck at the moment. People with OCPD can still mature and have changing moral values over time and that’s part of Buck’s development. He probably took Bobby firing him as a very harsh judgment on his own behavior and we see that even in S2 he was obsessing over that when Eddie was hired.

Sorry this is kind of a messy post where I just word vomited all over the place I hope this makes sense even though I probably ended up contradicting myself at some point.

[archivesatnight]

give us the explanation !!!!

Without further ado—

the list of reasons that I wholeheartedly believe the Buckley siblings are, in fact, just a torti and a goldie in disguise as humans:

Maddie is so spunky. We may not see it when we first meet her, still reeling from her experiences and the escape from her ex-husband, but it is so abundantly clear that she has this lovely, quirky, fire-y attitude that is, coincidentally, often a trait seen in tortoiseshell cats! Many call it a tortitude! Tortoiseshell cats are often hailed by vets and cat owners alike as super spunky, independent, and occasionally feisty. Sound familiar? (Josh and Maddie’s friendship is one very stellar example of it in action!)

Buck’s often blind loyalty, even when it turns toxic, is so quintessential golden retriever. From his trust in ex-partners to his trust in Bobby, the 118, his parents, Buck has had SO MANY INSTANCES of his trust being broken, of his blind faith and loyalty being used as a shield, leading to Buck himself getting ruined mentally and occasionally physically as a result. Many breeds of dogs are known to be loyal to a fault, but golden retrievers are on another level. One of the reasons that a decent portion of service dogs are goldens is due to their temperament, their ability to focus on a task for the purpose of helping their person out, while still being social enough to handle large crowds of people.

Maddie values her own space and independence while also being close to a select few, sometimes finding herself drifting far away from those she cares about for longer periods of time but always. coming. back. Much like a cat and their people, Maddie spends a solid portion of her time separated from the rest of her family (and extended 118 family), between her job in dispatch, where it is almost always her alone on each call, and her yearning to have her own place, her own stuff, her own memories after moving to L.A, I’d argue that Maddie is one of the most solitary characters in the show, but that does not make her cold or rude, but instead highlights how happy she is when she gets those moments with Chim or Buck or Josh or the many MANY members of her new west coast family!

Buck is task-oriented and “trainable”, for the lack of a better word. This one doesn’t need much explanation— look at his history of rehabilitation! Buck wants to get back to work? He will break records doing so. He found a structure and a skillset in firefighting that he loves and genuinely continues to improve upon. You can also insert here Clipboard Buck, the ultimate malicious compliance, task-oriented, trying to be helpful golden retriever in a man costume. Many Goldens are renowned for their technical abilities, and some are even known to take advantage of their knowledge to open doors they shouldn’t open or game their owners for extra treats.

Here are some rapid fire extras as well:

This is not the case in every house, but with every cat/dog house I have been in with bonded animals, the dog is always enthusiastic and ready to play but tries to respect the cat’s boundaries (sometimes the dog forgets and they get into spats but they always somehow end up playing or napping nearby by the end of the night anyway). Buck and Maddie may have their moments of upsetting one another but at the end of the day, they will always be there in each-other’s corners.

Color-scheme wise, it tracks.

Siblings who would go to war for their loved ones would of course be some of the most loyal yet often underrated protectors (cats being prone to sensing mood shifts and often moving to comfort and stand by their side while dogs will get defensive and physically fend off any who wish their people harm).

Buck and Goldies both being eager to experience anything and everything while Maddie and Tortis are more cautious and selective, more likely to stick to what they know (Maddie hopping jobs to dispatch to continue helping people in dire situations like when she was a nurse, for example)

I have more, honestly, but this list ALREADY got away from me. ,:))

(special shoutout to @kinkley-are-adorkable-flirts and @operator-please-take-my-call for requesting more!!)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Do you think Buddie would have another kid after getting together? What are your headcanons for that?

Personally, I say yes and see them worrying that Chris would feel some type of way about it and then approaching the conversation very carefully and then Chris is just like “so I get a sibling FINALLY? Awesome”

Oh bestie i absolutely think they would… especially with how much buck wants a kid and how eddie would love the chance to be there for the important things he missed with chris.

(i actually have an ongoing fic series called “Never Grow Up” centered around buddie being baby-girl dads; i will link it below if you want to check it out ☺️☺️)

but one of my headcanons is that they would name their baby girl after maddie- i don’t think she would be maddie diaz, i think they would make her full name Madeline (or any similar spelling) followed by her middle name being Isabel after abuela.

if they had a baby boy, i could 1000000% see them naming him after bobby in some capacity whether that be his first name or not (i also love the idea of him being called robbie instead of bobby so that it’s like the same but different)

i think buck would immediately become the helicopter parent for whatever extracurricular activity they join (im talking coaching the kindergarten soccer team, sewing dance costumes for dance competitions, volunteering as a kid wrangler for school plays, etc.)

i think eddie would sing old lullabies to their children as he rocks them to sleep at night, buck would tell him he has a beautiful voice (he would), and eddie would shake his head and say he doesn’t think so

buck and eddie would both find moments during the day when chris would sneak into the nursery and be telling the baby a story about their family, or saying sweet things like “im slways gonna protect you” or “i will never let anyone hurt you” “if anyone gives you a problem you come to me”

buck would go all out for their birthdays, often bringing out clipboard buck to make sure everything goes exactly the way he planned

their kids would call all of the 118 uncle/aunt/auntie

i think buck would be the one who everyone thinks spoils the kid, but in reality eddie is much worse about it than buck is (although they are both bad about it)

i think they would have at least one baby via surrogate, so that buck would have the chance to he a biological father, but any more, they would look into adoption, getting help from henren through the process

i think they would raise the kids to be bilingual (buck would come home raving about research he did on how beneficial it would be to raise them in a bilingual household, and eddie couldn’t say no to buck)

eddie would get really insecure over messing up again (bonus points if he panics about not knowing how to raise a little girl) while buck reminds him that he is an amazing father and he will be just as amazing with their kids

I am so sorry this took me like over a week to post, anon… I started a draft of these and then life kinda blew up and i only just thought about it… i guess better late than never, right?

If you are interested in reading my baby-girl-dad!buddie fics, i am going to link the series below (there are currently only two one-shots, but i am sure there will be more to come!)

Thank you for the ask, anon! and again, i am so sorry it took me so long to get to it! 😭🙏💕

[dreemurr-skelememer]

You don't have to answer this, but I was wondering how big do you usually make your canvas when you start a drawing? It might be silly, but I never know how big to make mine so I end up with things to big or too small for the canvas and I'd really like to know what a normal size should be...

here are the sizes i usually use depending on what i want to draw!

i most often use "big chunko" because i like drawing multiple pieces in a big canvas over anything else, gives me more freedom and it's a little more fun and has more space

these are usually my settings!

it's important to note that i usually draw zoomed in at 80-150% (118% is my standard), i do this because i get really particular in how my lines look

and since i zoom so far in, i usually just screenshot the piece then paste it into whatever i'm posting it does kill the quality, but it's not something that really bothers me personally because i like the lower quality look lolz

when it comes to an artwork ive drawn on a zoom level less than 100, i usually select a rectangle around the artwork (merged into the background!) and copy it into my clipboard to paste instead of a screenshot

drawing bigger gives more space for detail and improved quality 100% zoom is what you usually see when opening an image without zooming out or zooming in, so any more or less than that, the quality increases or decreases :)

[niirialnox]

Episode 4;

Oh boy here we go with clipboard Buck lmao

Ugh not Chase already. Gross

Gotta love Athena's mom voice 🤣🤣

Oop Jealous Husband Buck with Lena

Not gonna lie I kinda wish instead of the lawsuit they went with like Buck transferring stations and then Bobby realizes how much he messed up when he basically loses another kid

Oooh Chris and his nightmares my heart :(

They love to traumatize Maddie, don't they? Ugh

I just wish everyone COMMUINICATED more and then we wouldn't have these problems (but then we also wouldn't have this drama either lmao)

Not Maddie being a vigilante lmao I kinda love it

OH BOY NOT READY FOR BUCK TO KNOW ABOUT BOBBY BEING THE REASON HE CAN'T COME BACK BUT HERE WE GO

I kind wish Maddie ran his ass over lmao

The blender pettiness I LOVE IT hahaha

Ooooh Maddie whatcha doing girl

Chim loves Maddie so much my heart

Christopher my heart hurts so much for him

As much as Bobby deserves what happened, again communication would have saved them (AND US) the heartbreak of this damn lawsuit arc

Episode 5;

As shitty as it was about all the 118s dirty laundry being aired out. . .it just shows how much Buck was treated differently with everything and while I understand why everyone was so angry about Buck talking about their lives (which I'm sure a lot of things COULD be found out if Chase did his own digging) it in reality should have shown them all how MUCH they treated Buck differently

You can tell how much Bobby loves Buck by the way he treated the duck farm guy (not that he should have shoved him and yelled at him BUT STILL. And we all know the idiot kids line was def made in his anger to Buck)

The racial profiling scene also hurts me so much.

Even though Eddie shouldn't have hit the guy I would have loved for him to have asked if he wanted his other knee to be messed up lmao

I love that they used Ronda's fighting background as a way to have the fight ring arc happen. I know a lot of people probably don't like Lena for introducing Eddie to the fighting ring, but I actually really like the character and I kinda wish they would bring her back

Kinda wish that guy gave Athena a reason to arrest him

The supermarket scene my heart :( Buck is so sad to be yelled at by his husband

I feel so bad for Karen and Hen. They want a baby SO bad and to have all of these roadblocks (ESPECIALLY with that's coming soon and the later seasons) and it makes me so sad for them

Some part of me wishes Buck didn't go to the rage room for some reason. And not gonna lie I don't like petty Bobby.

While fight ring Eddie is hot, I still don't like it!

[wearerandomlyyours]

Ever since I made that single post about 911 it's started showing up more and more on TikTok and I have unwittingly/unwillingly absorbed a ton of information about a show I don't even watch (which is how I learned so much about Supernatural now that I think about it....) but all that's done is make me imagine how the 118 would support each other now that the old bigot captain is back.

Specifically, I keep imagining Chimney, after one too many 'comments' from the crusty old man, doing that 'Go, do a crime' meme but instead of a weapon he hands Buck a clipboard.

[xunandran]

Calendar (Buddie Week 2024 - Day 2)

prompt - Coparenting

Hope you all enjoy!

=================

“Honey, we’re home!”

At the sound of Buck’s voice, Eddie lifts his head from the study guide that has long since shifted into some indecipherable script. A warmth filters through him from the words. Buck’s said those words hundreds of times over the years as a comfortable tease to those around him. He says them when he goes to the firehouse. He says them when he gets back to his loft, even though the both of them know it’s empty. 

It’s the first time he’s said them since their kiss.

He listens to his boys in the other room. By the sounds, Christopher’s in a mood. He can hear the rapid staccato of the boy’s crutches on the floor as he stalks away from the front door. It’s probably nothing. Hormones. He’ll ask if Buck knows anything when the other man makes his way to the kitchen. 

“Christopher? Backpack in your room before video games. You know the rules.” Buck’s voice is kind, but firm, and Eddie’s stomach does a small flip.

Eddie listens for the groaning huff that he’s come to learn is part of raising a thirteen year old. Christopher does not disappoint, but the click of his crutches matches the beating in Eddie’s heart and he’s just so.

Happy.

“Someone’s in a mood,” he observes when Buck enters the kitchen. The other man nods and peeks down the hall to make sure the coast is clear before planting a small kiss at the crown of Eddie’s head. 

“Apparently Stacey told Darcy told Francine told Erika that Chris said he would take her to their upcoming dance.”

Eddie looks up. “Which one’s Erika?”

“The new interest.” Buck pulls open the fridge and grabs a beer. “You want one?”

Eddie shakes his head. “I’m studying. Thanks though.”

“How’s that going?” Buck turns the chair next to Eddie so he can straddle it. His left foot idly toes at Eddie’s feet under the table. 

Eddie sighs. “It’s a lot. There’s a lot to learn, but Tommy’s been a great help, and everyone over there has been so welcoming.”

“Everyone at the 118 misses you,” Buck says before he spins the lid off of the beer and takes a drink. “The new guy is working out though… mostly.” When they had decided to give this a go, Buck and Eddie together instead of Buck and Eddie as friends, it had come with some sacrifices. Because of regulations, they couldn’t be on the same team anymore, so it was either split all of their shifts, or have one of them transfer so they could maintain at least a semblance of a matching shift. 

They had opted for the latter, and Tommy had pulled strings to get Eddie to LAFD Air Ops. And while Buck misses seeing Eddie at work, he loves seeing him here after work. Some sacrifices are worth it.

Eddie looks up from his notes, a teasing fire in his brown eyes. “Be nice to him, Buck.” After a brief bit of silence, he laughs and adds, “But not too nice. I’m not interested in sharing.”

Buck laughs, cheeks pink with warm embarrassment. Eddie wants to kiss along the rosy hue. But that would involve telling Christopher. And of everyone knowing, him being the last, Eddie’s scared of Christopher’s approval most of all. 

“Speaking of Tommy, I invited him over to watch the fight the weekend after next. That okay?

“I think so,” Buck says. And Eddie already knows what’s coming before the next sentence exits the other man’s mouth. “Let me check the calendar.” 

Buck pulls the upgraded calendar from its spot beneath the takeout menus to Eddie’s favorite places and sets it on the table. From the drawer next to the fridge, he grabs a series of pens, color coded to each of them. Eddie was blue, like Buck’s eyes. Buck was purple, one of his favorite colors, and Carla was a lovely shade of red. 

Eddie loves calendar Buck almost as much as he loves clipboard Buck. Not that he’s going to admit that to the other man. But watching Buck make notes and annotations, block out their shifts with color coordinated bars along the top of the days, and sort who was taking Christopher to what activity was probably the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. 

Buck’s even kept some of the old terminology. Eddie’s eyes dance over every other Thursday. BBPUG w/Tommy Kinard. Circled. Buck hasn’t gone since that fateful day. But he still marks it so that it’s accounted for in their daily lives. 

“So what’s the verdict?” Eddie asks.

“I have a shift that day, so you’ll have to deal with scowly and moody.”

“A chore I think I can manage,” Eddie laughs. He looks over the calendar again before Buck picks it up, and his eyes fall on a particular date in both Blue and Purple. The text read simply the talk. “What’s that?”

Buck follows Eddie’s eyes. “Oh. That. I figured we could take Christopher out and bribe him with ice cream and dinner before telling him that ‘his Buck’ has also become ‘your Buck’.”

“My Buck, huh?” He reaches under the table to circle his thumb against Buck’s knee. It’s such a simple gesture, but the absurdity of hiding and planning on bribing a thirteen year old kid to be okay with your new boyfriend makes Eddie laugh. But he loves how much Buck loves Christopher. 

And over time, with pens in Red and Purple and Blue, the Diaz household slowly shifts into the Diaz-Buckley household.

[kitchenscene]

engaged buddie ?

first of all, eddie's the one who proposes, so jot that down. not only is he an undercover romantic, but he's also the only one who's been married before, so buck would want to follow his lead on this. and eddie really doesn't want to make a huge deal out of it because that's just not who they are, but he also wants it to be special and he gets stuck on trying to find the "perfect moment"

but of course it happens while they're doing dishes or writing a grocery list or something so incredibly mundane because when eddie's with buck, there's about five dozen perfect moments in a day. and even though eddie proposes, buck gets a ring for him too because he's a sap they're both saps.

then when it comes to wedding planning, just image clipboard buck except instead of being in charge of fire engine inventory he's in charge of place settings and seating arrangements and catering and eddie just. he's like "you're lucky i love you because oh my god you're insane." it gets to the point where eddie has to tell him i don't care about any of this extra stuff i just want to marry you i'd do it right here in the living room, i'd do it at the courthouse, i'd marry you in the 118 parking lot if that's what you want, but i don't need perfect.

they go to way more wedding cake tasting than necessary because. hello free cake with my fiance this is great.

and when it comes to writing vows buck's like. this literally isn't fair you say the most romantic shit without even trying you're gonna improvise your vows and make me cry and make bobby cry and everyone is crying while you're just winging it. so he gets himself a journal. he writes down every scatter brained thought he has about eddie. and just hope that it comes together into something semi coherent.

[valenschmidt]

IT'S 3AM AND CALL ME A CLOWN BUT....

This is gonna be a little long but bear with me cause I have a point.

I believe this entire Eddieana and what happened this episode is heavily hinting that something big is coming...

This entire season we have had subtle Buddie moments AND also moments that hint that Buck and Eddie co-parent Christopher together and I'm gonna list it for you:

We start in 4x03 where Eddie and Buck have this 'good cop, bad cop' scene with Christopher and the video games where Buck tells Christopher no after a silent very mom/dad like pose which says 'Try and defy me' which is very common between married couples who co-parent (I've seen it with my parents a few times). We continue this episode with this cute little prank with the coffee maker that Buck and Chris play on Eddie (which was hilarious and really cute btw)

We move on to the crossover when Buck gets sad (and kind jealous when he finds out that Eddie is gonna work with Marjan instead of him

Later in the ep we have TK (an openly gay man) who thinks Buck is flirting with him AND OPENLY TELLS BUCK he has a boyfriend when Buck suggests they "get together" if TK's in LA sometime... AND on top of that when TK disappears of the frame who appears right after? Yup Eddie

We move on to 4x04 in which we have the scene with the 'Karen's murder' where we have Buck and Eddie playing detective together in a very cute way trying to discover the woman's killer. Then we have the punching bag scene in which after being angry for a while, a conversation with Eddie helps Buck with his anger.

We move on to Buck begins!!! Where in the factory fire JUST AS BUCK is about to give up, the 118 shows up to help him. Who is the first one there??? Eddie. Then we have the scene with Eddie waiting for buck's clean bill of health... And then the whole "Show off" scene which honestly?? EDDIE YOUR FONDNESS!!!

Now we get to the good stuff.... 4x06. JINX. My favorite episode! Where we have the clipboard scene with fond Eddie and the cutest moment with Buck and Eddie laughing in that whole helium scene but also it's the one where we get an incoming... Ana. Bobby tells Eddie this advice which resonates with me

"They're so focused on what they don't have, that they miss the chance to have something else. Something real" and tells Eddie to try and move on... But this line I believe it's more for us. Eddie will be SO focused on what he doesn't have (a 'mom' for Christopher) that he misses the chance to have something real. Something that is right in front of his face (Buck) and tries to find it on Ana (which is where our misery begins)

We have 4x07 where the focus of story arcs shifts to other characters and we don't get that much here BUT we get Buck trying to 'date' and failing miserably with Veronica.

In 4x08 is where the fun starts and co-pareting buddie starts to show... We have on one side Buck who is having issues with Albert and Veronica dating which leads to uncomfortable Buck in his own apartment. Our dear Taylor Kelly comes back but we see her relationship with Buck change to a really nice friendship. On the otherside we have Eddie who starts dating Ana and Christopher finds out which leads to his outburst to Eddie (which had never happened before) and then... HE RUNS AWAY. WHERE!? To Buck. To his other parent. The only other person who makes him feel safe (we get kind of like a divorced!buddie vibe here too). This beautiful scene between them shows us how Buck is Chris other parent AND ALSO that Buck and Taylor are truly becoming friends now. And then we get this really rushed scene where Edmundo (not eddie, Edmundo) introduces Christopher to Ana as if that's gonna make him feel better after the outburst he had and that made no sense at all to the point of the episode

In 4x09 we get a little bit of Buddie working together as the partners they are but the focus is on Chimney and Hen this ep so we just get breadcrums

In 4x10 we get the biggest hint so far... The episode is called PARENTHOOD! And it focuses on obviously the parents of the 118. Bathena and Michael, Henren and Madney. Who is the only parent who gets left out here?? Eddie... Why?? Because we all know that Chris has two parents and they don't want to acknowledge that just yet cause... Reasons. BUT we get nice hints. The few scenes in which we have Buck we get him talking about children at the same level as the rest of the 118. He acts and talks like he's already a parent. Why? Because he is!!!

We get this scene which is very subtle (BUT ALSO VERY NOTICEABLY) where we have the 'good cop, bad cop parents' and their kid. Chimney asks if both parents can be the 'good cop' AND BOTH BUCK AND EDDIE RESPOND NO! As if they know by first hand that a kid needs both, good and bad. This HEAVILY hints buddie co-parents or there's no point to this moment. In the same epsiode we get this AWFUL and very rushed scene with Buddieana and Chris in literally the last minute of the parenthood episode where Chris didn't even show up. The show portrays them as the 'adorable family who watches tv together' when they showed us JUST a few scenes ago the very noticeable buddie co-parenting scene. Why you say?? To remind us Eddie and Ana are still dating.

My point??? It's all on purpose. This is all hinting that something big might be coming. That's why we are getting so little scenes, why buddie is "pulling away". Also the fact that Ana is just here as Eddie's love interest and has literally no personality whatsoever is making me believe she's just being used as a background character. Even David (Michael's partner) has more personality than her and I think this is done on purpose. I believe something is gonna happen and this might all lead to Carla's appearance in an upcoming episode which could be the turning point of this storyline. Cocoa hinted that Carla will be coming back and she might be anti Ana (and possibly team buck). Will she knock some sense into Eddie? I really hope so

This took me an hour but it's here... Am I a clown? Yes. Am I reaching? Probably. But I had to get it out of my chest... Buddie is coming

[halcyonstorm]

The Girl at the Library Chapter 1

Short Fic - Levihan

Themes: College AU, Library, Fluff, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Female Hange Zoe, Student!Levi

Word Count: 5730

Chapter: 1/3

Warning: Mild Language

Read on Ao3 - The Girl at the Library

Summary: Levi is a college student who needs help on his research paper. Luckily, Hange is a book worm and works at the library. 

Levi was stressed and annoyed, mainly because he was in college. Of course with college comes infinite amounts of homework assignments, 100-question exams with astronomical amounts of topics on them, unnecessary research papers, and staying in a dorm room with a kid that happens to have no problem inviting his friends over every night to hang out and party with no regards to his sullen roommate.

Levi had a paper coming up. He had to come up with a topic, find sources, and finish his paper by the end of the semester. With three weeks left to go, he decided he’d rather get it over with. He began his brainstorming in the study lounge at the center of his dormitory floor. He was starting to stress. He sat on the big yellow leather couch in the way-too-bright study lounge with his laptop in his lap. He tapped his pen against his head as he tried to think of an idea. 

“You have to write about a topic related to your major,” The professor explained. “This is the one and only paper you will have assigned this semester. I suggest you get it done as early as possible.”

If only it were that easy. He had the rubric pulled up in one tab, and a ton of “How to pick a research topic” websites in others. His major was pharmaceuticals, a field he was inspired to take on because of his mother. She was very ill when he was very young, so they were in and out of hospitals. He was sitting on the edge of his mother’s hospital bed when a nurse came in the room to administer her medications. 

“This is…” His memory was blurry. “This medication will help… and make you feel better.” And it did. 9 year old Levi was fascinated. This one little pill or bag of what looked like water helped his mother feel better. Within hours, his mother’s skin went from pallor to beige. Her hands were warmer. She looked more awake, more alive. She didn’t wince at Levi’s touch. She was in less pain. She got better, like the nurse predicted.

Since then, Levi always asked questions whenever they visited the hospitals again and again. “What kind of drug is that?” “What does it do?” “How long does it take to take effect?”

Levi recalled the memory with a deep sigh. He missed his mother. She was at home, not too far away. Levi never had the time to travel the hour through the big city to visit her. When he did have free time, he spent it studying or sleeping. He felt his heart twinge at this. She had sacrificed everything to help him attend college and to give him a good life.

Now with his head cloudy, he went to reach his water bottle in his backpack. He opened the lid and took a sip. At that moment, he could hear some obnoxiously loud students throwing tennis balls back and forth to each other. He recognized these kids too, they were some (of many) of the lovely visitors his roommate had over most nights. Suddenly in the blink of an eye, Levi’s water bottle spilled all over his laptop, a tennis ball on the floor next to him, and some worried voices approaching him. Within seconds, the laptop started to steam and the screen went black.

His laptop was fried, he determined. He felt heat start to rise inside of him. 

“Oh my god, man. I am so sorry,” One of the kids said, trying to hold back a laugh. 

“Yeah, man. We didn’t mean to.”

Levi took a deep breath and stood up. These kids… were gonna pay.

He closed his broken laptop and stood up. These kids were much taller than him, but looked to be easily intimidated by Levi’s presence. 

“Do you have the money to pay for this?” He sneered, getting very close to their faces. 

“Eh… no, but we have jobs! We can pay you back over time,” One of the kids trailed off. They seemed to be intimidated by the short man. “You live in 112 right?”

Levi nodded, his face heating up with anger. “This laptop cost me a lot of money.”

“We get it, man! We said we’re sorry,” the other kid explained. “We’ll pay you back or whatever.”

“Tch,” Levi clicked. He was extremely pissed. These kids should not be throwing balls at each other in the hallway. Also, they spilled his water which made a mess. “Which room are you both in?” They responded with 118. The one kid explained they get paid on the 15th and 30th of each month. Luckily, their pay day was 4 days away.

“I’ll stop by Tuesday, the 16th,” Levi decided, before gathering his things and heading to the stairs. He began to walk through the campus. Fuck, now where was he gonna go? How was he gonna find his topics? His computer was fucked. Putting it in rice wouldn’t have helped. He was so occupied having a debate with himself about where to research, he almost missed it. If he looked the other way or even blinked in that moment, he wouldn’t have seen it. It was the campus library. No, not the campus library, but a campus library. It blended into the surroundings, hidden from the passerbyers. There was a sign in the window “We’re Open!”. 

The library was small, to say the least. It was old fashioned, which contrasted the modern aesthetic of the university. It was a small, dark brown, wooden building with four-pane windows. The door was a lighter shade of brown. He decided it was easier to check out this little library instead of walking another 10 minutes to get to the main library. He didn’t have time to waste. He had to get started with his paper right away. He walked up to the door and opened it. When he did, a little bell rang at the doorway. 

“Just a minute!” A woman’s voice called from the back. Levi decided to wander around. There were many books crammed on the shelves. There were two computers on each side when he walked in. They looked out of place, considering they were very modern compared to the architecture of the library itself. The books were all shades of bright, vibrant colors. It was strange. From the outside, it seemed creepy and gloomy. Once he walked in, it was very cozy. The dark walls of the library contrasted the beautiful colors of the books.

Then, he saw the woman come out. She came up to the desk. He expected an elderly lady with her glasses on a chain, but he assumed this woman was a student. She was a young woman who wore thin oval glasses and her brown hair thrown up in a messy half-up-half-down ponytail. 

“Hi!” The woman said. “How can I help you?”

“I want to use a computer, please,” He announced. He glanced at her nametag which hung like a necklace around her neck. “Hange” was the name on the tag. It was strange and unordinary, but it had a nice ring to it. The name seemed to suit her.

“Sure! You are allowed up to two hours a day,” Hange explains. “You can choose whichever computer you’d like.”

The computers were unoccupied. In fact, the entire library seemed vacant except for him and the employee. 

“Does anyone actually come here?” Levi asked, setting his stuff down next to a desk, and looking her way. She looked like someone who would work at a library. 

The brunette chuckled. “You are my third visitor today!” She exclaimed proudly. It was already about 3pm. He remembered the sign in the front says “12pm-6pm weekdays”. 

Levi chuckled silently, air huffed out his nose. “How do you stay in business?”

“Well, the university thinks it’s good to have a small library in the outskirts of the campus so students have access to books and computers because the main campus library is in the center of the plaza. Sometimes we get about ten people a day, and sometimes they don’t even take anything out. Sometimes I wonder how…” She began to ramble now. She definitely has not had anyone else visit her today.

She was starting to get on his nerves. It’s been 20 minutes since he arrived, and she was still talking. He zoned out until she caught his attention.

“Hey,” She said. “What’s your name? I have to track whoever comes in to use the computers.” 

Why? No one else comes in. He noticed her clipboard with the sign-ins was blank.

“Levi Ackerman,” He announced. She scribbled his name down. “Okay, it’s 3:30 now, so you have till 5:30 if needed.” She pointed to the clock with her pen as she explained. He nodded and proceeded to walk towards the table with the computer he claimed. He sat down and began working.

-

He was an hour into his research when he finally threw his hands up in the air in frustration. He still couldn’t think of a topic. He groaned aloud.

Hange was leaning against the main desk, her nose stuck in a book. “How Trees Communicate” was the title. When she heard the young man groan, she looked up. 

“Is everything okay?” She asked, peering over her book at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” He mumbled. “Fine…”

Hange raised an eyebrow. She placed her bookmark at her spot, then strolled around the desk and walked over to him.

“What are you working on?” She asked, sitting in the seat next to him and put her hands on her knees, looking at him curiously. He scoffs. It was none of her business, he thought to himself. And it’s an invasion of privacy.

He was frustrated and desperate. Hoping for a miracle, he managed to tell her anyways.

 “I need a topic for my paper and I can’t think of any…” Levi began. “It needs to be based on pharmaceuticals, my major. It also needs scientific evidence to back up my research…”

She was fully absorbed in what he had to say. She was bored, so helping Levi would’ve been something to do at least. Besides, Levi was in luck. She was an avid reader, always reading about anything and everything. She was studying plants and botanicals, but she found herself frequently taking out books about cooking; religion; war; animals; and medical topics including surgery, pathophysiology, anatomy, and pharmaceuticals.

“What about how diuretics affect blood pressure?” Hange suggested. Levi was taken aback. His eyebrows furrowed, and he shook his head in confusion. “Or if anti-alzheimer drugs actually help slow the progression of Alzheimer’s? Why do you take different medications during certain stages of Alzheimer’s disease? Or how do anti-seizure medications work? That is something I ask myself all the time. You take this little pill and BOOM! You’ll be fine, no seizure! Oh, oh, oh! Or, how certain medications cause certain adverse effects? How come so many medications cause anxiety?” Her eyes started to light up as she talked. They were a dark brown, but when she started to talk, they seemed to morph to a captivating hazel. He felt he could see every color in her eyes. He saw brown and green and the little lines of her iris. Hange’s hands would move as she talked, and her smile grew wide. She couldn’t keep still. She was getting excited by coming up with all these ideas. She seemed so passionate and so willing to help; he was overwhelmed by her.

Levi was in shock. His day started off horrible. Now, he was almost glad his laptop was fucked. This woman was making his mind race with ideas. 

“Are you okay?” Hange asked for the second time within his visit there. Levi nodded slowly. “I am just… How do you know all that? Are you a med student?”

Hange chuckled and waved her hand at him. “No… I am a bookworm! Also, my mom is a nurse, so she used to teach me about nursing stuff all the time. Oh! You could write about the pathophysiology of anticholinergics! Or beta blockers! Or how the body reacts to the use of long-term steroids?”

Levi took a deep breath. He felt euphoric. He had been casually trying to think of topics since last week. All of a sudden, this woman can just ramble off hundreds of ideas? Levi smiled visibly.

“Actually… I really like the final topic you suggested. About steroids.” Levi admitted.

Hange smiled back at him. “Great! I can try to help you find some sources or books.” She directed him to open a new tab and to go to a certain database. “This is where you can find reliable sources. Over here,” She pointed to his screen at the left side. “You can add filters. You can change how old or new you’d like the sources to be, filter out certain words or phrases, et cetera.” She had been closer to him now; she scooted her chair closer so she could explain the database to him. It was hard not to look at her as she explained. She was captivating.

Levi began to type in words for his topic.

“Steroids”, “Long-term use”, “Cushing’s Disease”, “Addison’s Disease”, “Addisonian Crisis”, “Pathophysiology”.

He felt like he was finally getting somewhere. He was finally making progress.

-

As Levi was walking home, he couldn’t get his mind off that girl. He decided to brainstorm about his topic in his room once he got there. The thing was, though, he couldn’t think of any more ideas. He found it funny. Of course he was full of ideas and inspiration when he visited that library, but now he’s void of any.

-

Levi’s weekends were no different than the weekdays. He made it appoint to visit the library again the next day, Saturday. It was a sunny, cool Saturday morning. Levi had inspiration to write. He needed a computer and Hange’s ideas. When he arrived, it seemed busy. There were three other patrons at the library.  He recognized Hange right away, helping a tall blonde man with a big nose. He wondered if she was the only employee there. The man she was helping was taller than her, so she had to reach up on her toes to point to items. She was an average height, but this action made her seem shorter than she actually was.

Hange looked his way and greeted him with a toothy smile. Levi waved at her and started to head down one of the aisles of books. He was in the nonfiction section, but was lost. For now, he just casually browsed the section, but quickly got impatient. He needed Hange’s help to find books for this paper. He heard her laugh with the patron. Maybe he’s a friend, he thought to himself. Her laugh was airy and full of heart. It seemed genuine and passionate. Levi felt an urge to make her laugh, too.

She finally made her way over to him. Levi was looking down at a book when she caught his eye. “Hey, stranger!” She greeted him with a wave. “Whatcha looking for?” She placed her hands on her hips.

“I’m trying to find some sources for my paper. Steroids is the topic,” Levi explained.

“Oh, right. I remember! After you left last night, I tried to look for some books for your topic,” She said. She was trying to help me? Levi thought to himself.

She curled her finger in a “follow me” gesture and he did. She brought him to another aisle or two over from where they were. “These are the 600’s, where you’ll most likely find what you’re looking for. I found a book or two about Addison’s disease, but it’s more of a memoir. You can look around though if you’d like. Anything in the 610’s should be right up your alley.” She explained as if she was going to leave, but she didn’t. Hange looked for books with him. 

After a moment, she made a noise. “Look at this!” She exclaimed. She reached next to him to reach for a book. She was on her toes again. “Mmmm,” She moaned as she tried to reach. “Actually, I’m gonna get the step stool. I don’t think I can reach it.” Quickly, she left and came back with the stool. It looked unreliable, but Levi was sure he’d be able to prevent any accident from occurring. Hange placed it on the ground and stepped up on it, grabbing the book with ease. She stepped down with the book in her hand. This book had a white cover with a blue label and was titled “Coping with Prednisone”. Levi was surprised she even knew what prednisone was. 

“Here!” She reached it out for him to grab. He took it and looked at her face. She had that same look in her eyes. “Did you want to use the computer?” He nodded and she led him towards the front of the library. The library was small from the outside, but very deep inside. It reminded him of a forest. 

“I got your name, don’t worry,” She said, clicking her pen and writing his name down on the sheet. 

“Oops!” Hange made a quick grimace. “I added an ‘e’ at the end. I’ll just cross it out.” The statement sounded like it was addressed to herself rather than to anyone else. She crossed out the extra letter.

“Ackermane”. Levi was gonna attempt to make her laugh.

“If you thought I looked like a horse you could’ve just said so.” 

Mane, horse mane. Get it?

It felt like forever before Hange responded. She looked up at him, starting to laugh. It was a short but audible laugh. Her head nodded back and she smiled. Her cheeks turned pink and her eyes lit up for a moment. It made his heart skip a beat. It was a bad joke yet she still laughed. She chuckled. Giggled? No. Laughed lightly. Chortled? Maybe that’s the right word. Whatever it was, he wanted to do it more, maybe even more than that.

He followed her to the computers. The blonde guy she was helping earlier was on one computer. She led him to the two computers across from the other ones and sat down in the chair next to him.

“What are you doing?” Levi asked, placing the book she found for him on the table.

Her eyebrows raised, and after a moment she reacted. She waved her hands in front of her.

“I’m sorry! I thought you may have needed help. I should get back to work anyway. I gotta go through a new box of books that just came in.”

Levi looked up at her. Is she blushing? he asked himself.

“I’ll let you know if I need help.” Levi responded. She smiled at him before quickly walking away.

-

He started to find some evidence-based practice articles about how steroids can cause long-term side effects, especially if stopped abruptly. He made sure to keep the tabs available. He’d have to cite them later. Levi’s mind was racing with words and sentences and ideas. He had to get them down on paper. He opened Documents on the computer and started typing away.

The clicking of the keyboard soothed him. He was a pretty fast typer, he didn’t make many mistakes either. The library around him began to become quiet as his typing got louder and he got deeper in thought. Before he knew it, his two hours were up. He felt someone approach him from his right.

“Hey,” Hange said, gently tapping the table next to him. “It’s 2pm. I gotta close up.”

Levi snapped out of his focused trance with a quick head shake. “Right. Sorry.” He pulled out a flash drive from his backpack and plugged it into the computer. He transferred his document. “I got the first page done.”

Levi asked himself for a brief moment why he was sharing this information with someone he just met. Maybe since she helped him, he felt she should know.

“That’s great! It seemed like you were really focused,” Hange said, walking away to shut off some lights. Only then did he notice the white noise of the overhead lights quickly dissipate. The room buzzed with silence now. Levi and Hange were alone in the library. Suddenly, Levi felt nervous. He watched Hange walk around the room frantically, making sure to shut off all the lights and computers. She grabbed a bag. The bag was a fabric material with a patchwork design that had a long strap that hung on on her shoulder. Maybe she made it herself. She grabbed her big mess of keys and walked towards him.

“Ready?” She said. He nodded and walked outside, holding the door for her. She thanked him, locking the door behind her. They began to walk down the street slowly. 

“Want to grab lunch?” Hange asked, looking at him. Levi looked back at her. She looked pretty.

“Sure, I can eat.” Hange chuckled at that. He didn’t try, but it made her happy for a brief moment. He seemed nervous but she was too.

They decided to eat at a cute restaurant on campus called “Life in Paradis”. It was a small, dainty place with a green and yellow checkered awning. The building was made of yellow brick, and the door was bright green. There were flower pots outside on the windowsill. Again, this place seemed totally out of place in the modern aesthetic of the university. 

“This place is adorable!” Hange exclaimed. “I love the food here. You’ll love it too. They have all kinds of food here.” Levi felt a smile grow on his face. The way she talked made his heart flutter. She was always so passionate. They entered and got a table for two. This is not a date, Levi kept telling himself. Then why were his cheeks red?

They sat down and looked through a menu. Levi wasn’t extremely hungry even though he hadn’t had anything but tea this morning. He peered over his menu to look at the girl. Her hair was different today, he determined. Today all her hair was in a ponytail, and it was higher on her head. She wore a light yellow button-down with a long, light blue cardigan. Hange caught him staring at her and blushed.

“What would you two like to order?” The waitress asked him first.

“I’m gonna get a sandwich, I think,” He said, crossing his arms across his chest. “Turkey sub.” “I think I’m gonna get a chicken caesar salad,” Hange said. He nodded, grabbed the menus, and walked away.

Hange began to talk about how beautiful the flowers outside the restaurant were. They were all variants of pink, purple, yellow, and red. She described the petals and the leaves, the flowers’ origins, and all the meanings of the flowers. Levi wasn’t annoyed by her tangent this time. He actively listened to this girl talk about what fascinated her so much. He found it soothing. It made him wonder how her brain can contain all the information she was spewing at him. He enjoyed watching the way her eyes lit up when she talked. The beautiful green that blossomed at the bottom of her irises when the light hit her eyes at the right angle. The way her lips curled into a big smile when she talked to him. Her cheeks flush to a light pink when she describes the petals of the flowers or how flowers were used to express feelings when words cannot. It made his heart race. 

“Levi,” Hange said. Her affect was the opposite of earlier when she was rambling. She wore a frown on her face, feeling guilty.“I’ve been rambling… sorry. It’s such a bad habit of mine. I can talk for hours and hours.”

“Don’t apologize, four-eyes,” Levi replied, leaning his elbows and forearms on the table in a crossed position. Hange smiled at him. Levi meant it. She shouldn’t apologize for talking, especially if it’s about something she loves. The food had arrived at the table. They ate. Levi felt the need to open up to her about something. He already learned so much about her, and her presence made him feel like he can open up. 

“I like to run,” Levi said abruptly. Hange looked at him intently, chewing on a forkful of salad. “I don’t do it competitively or anything, but I enjoy running. I try to run once or twice a day.” Hange’s eyebrows raised and she nodded in agreement.

“That’s awesome!” She smiled again at him. “I like to run too. I’m really slow and get tired easily, but I enjoy feeling the wind in my hair and feeling my heart pound.” She took a bite of her meal again. Levi nodded and began to eat too. This sandwich was really good.

-

After talking some more about hobbies and school, they both finished their meal. The waiter brought over the check. Hange reached into her pocket for her wallet.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Levi asked. Hange furrowed her brows.

“I invited you out to lunch. I will pay,” Hange determined, her wallet now in her hands.

“No,” Levi said too quickly. “I will pay. It’s the least I can do. You helped me with my paper after all.”

The bickering lasted a very long minute. Before she got to think of the idea, Levi grabbed the checkbook and shoved his card inside before handing it to the waiter. Hange looked surprised. She sighed, putting her wallet away.

“Thank you, Levi. But you really didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

In all honesty, Hange didn’t have much money. She worked at that library four times a week, but the money she made went towards paying off her tuition. She really wanted to treat this man, her new friend. She wasn’t sure if he thought the same way about her. Did he consider her his friend? She felt slightly embarrassed. She did most of the talking and felt like she was annoying him. Maybe he just wanted to pay so she would lay off. 

But the truth is, Levi felt the opposite way of how she was thinking. He was interested to hear more from her. He was addicted to the way his heart raced when he saw her. 

-

Over the next couple of days, Levi would go to that library whenever he was available. He knew it was closed on Sunday, so he went Monday and Tuesday to the library. Fortunately, he got his first batch of money from the brats that fried his computer. He received $100. Of course it was not enough, but it was a start. Wednesday the 17th came around. This specific day was a wild card. The weather was unpredictable. Levi entered the library just in time; it had started to downpour. The little bell rang as he entered the library. To his surprise, Hange was not working that day. There was a boy behind the counter who was tall and had a brown bowl cut hairstyle.  He almost thought about turning around and leaving when he realized she wasn’t there. The rain charged towards the earth viciously, so he decided to seek shelter in the small library. It almost looked like a hurricane. He felt his mood change into a bad one. He didn’t remember to ask how often she worked. 

“Hi there!” The man said. His name tag read “Moblit”. That’s a dumb name.

“I wanna use a computer,” Levi muttered, walking up to the main desk.

“Okay. Name?” Moblit grabbed the clipboard and a pen.

“Levi Ackerman.”

“Oh, I see you’ve been here before. A lot, actually.” Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes at his comment. He turned around, picked a computer, and sat down. He felt really stupid to not ask her about her schedule.

The two hours he spent working on his paper was incredibly slow. He didn’t get much done that day. He had writer’s block. He was almost done, so he didn’t worry about it too much. He didn’t know Hange’s schedule. He knew she worked Friday, the day they met; Saturday; Monday, and Tuesday. Maybe she only worked four times a week? Before he knew it, he asked Moblit aloud. It was almost an accident.

“Uh, she’ll be in on Friday,” Moblit replied. He probably couldn’t give out that information to some creep who began visiting daily with an attitude. He muttered a “thanks” before finishing up and heading out. The weather was holding up for now, so he decided to make a run for it. He didn’t say goodbye to Moblit.

He didn’t have an umbrella. The sun was trying to shine through the dark, eerie clouds. It wasn’t trying hard enough. He heard thunder rumbling in the distance.

Levi realized that this girl was all he thought about the past few days. Something about her enticed him. Something about her eyes and her presence drew him towards her. His heart skipped a beat whenever she’d graze his hand on accident, or even when she just talked to him. She made him happy. He hadn’t had too many friends in college. Although they just met last week, he felt a deep connection with her. 

Suddenly, the sun poked through the clouds for a brief moment. The world lit up. It was at that moment he recognized a familiar face. Hange. She was walking towards him. She grinned when she saw him. She wore a fitted black t-shirt and baggy, light blue jeans. 

“Levi!” She exclaimed. “I forgot my jacket in the library, so I came down to get it.” 

“You didn’t tell me you weren’t working today.” Is all Levi said. Once he said it, he realized how creepy it must’ve sounded. A man she just met happens to go to this library to work on his project every day, who happens to come up with multiple reasons to interact with her. Maybe she thought he was a perv.

“Ehh!” She sighed. “I’m sorry! I thought I told you I was off today.” Levi shook his head. The comment itself may have sounded rude, but it wasn’t. She genuinely felt bad. “Walk with me.” Levi followed. Guess not.

“I don’t work Wednesday’s and Thursday’s. Well I’m not supposed to be,” Hange explained. “Mobilt, one of my co-workers, is always calling out sick. So I basically run the place.” They walked towards the library again and entered. 

“Hey, Moblit. How’s it going?” Hange said in a normal tone, heading towards the back of the library. Moblit responded briefly, following Hange. Levi decided to hang back, he figured it was a secure area. He looked around awkwardly.

“Hange, you didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend,” Moblit said, following her towards the back. 

Hange chuckled nervously. “He’s not my boyfriend,” she said bluntly. “He’s just a friend.” Moblit scoffed, rolling his eyes. “If he’s not your boyfriend, how come his mood entirely changed once he saw you?”

Hange found her jacket, folding it over her forearm. “Huh?”

“He was, like, in a bad mood when he came in. He used the computer but he seemed to be pissed or something. Now that he’s with you, he seems… tolerable.”

Hange laughed, feeling her cheeks blush. “It’s nothing like that. People have bad days, you know.”

Hange rolled her eyes and smirked, then headed towards the front of the library. “Ready?” Levi nodded and turned around.

“See you Friday,” Moblit called out. “See ya.” Hange replied.

The two started walking down the street. The air smelt of rain, and the ground was wet from the rain earlier. “Which building is your dorm in?” Hange asked. He was a bit surprised she asked him that, and she was so direct about it.

“Saint Maria,” He replied. She smiled. “Me too! I can’t believe I haven’t seen you around!” The wind picked up and the sky turned darker than before. They both looked up. “If you can’t make it to the library, you can use my desktop in my dorm room,” Hange offered. Levi’s cheeks turned bright red. 

“Thanks, maybe tomorrow I can stop by,” Levi said. It was more of him thinking aloud than a statement. It was too late though, Hange already heard him. He could’ve sworn he didn’t say it aloud.

“That’s fine! I only have a class early tomorrow morning. Come by around 11, okay? My room number is 506.” Levi nodded. Thunder rolled and sounded closer now. They were almost at the dormitory building when it started to downpour. The rain was forcefully coming down on the two. Levi groaned in annoyance. He hated being in the rain. He hated being wet; he hated the wet socks and how gross he felt when it rained. He would’ve started to run to the building to seek cover, but he was taken aback by his new friend.

She was soaked and embracing it. She lifted her head up to face the sky and she laughed. It was loud, happy, genuine, and it took Levi’s breath away. Hange reached her hands out wide and spun around. He saw a strike of lightning light up the sky. He stared at her in awe. His heart swelled. Levi smiled big. After laughing, Hange looked at Levi and shared the look that he wore just a few moments ago. She loved his smile. She wished to make him smile more. She was also determined to make him laugh, too.

She grabbed his hand. “Let’s take cover!” And she pulled him into the dormitory hall. Saint Maria’s hall was beautiful. It had ceiling-to-floor glass pane windows that were always crystal clear. There was a big black modern chandelier that hung from the ceiling. It contained visible light bulbs. Hange secretly loved it. There were the same big, yellow, leather couches in the living room as there were in the study area on his floor. They both wiped their feet off on the big rug in the entryway. 

“I love the rain,” Hange deduced, turning her head to look at him. As if Levi couldn’t tell. Her hand was still holding his. Levi looked up at her. “I like it, too.”

[name-me-regret]

If The World Was Ending 5/?

If The World Was Ending Chapter Five: Los Angeles, I’m Yours

Read on AO3.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

“I’d like to rest my heavy head tonight On a bed of California stars I’d like to lay my weary bones tonight On a bed of California stars

I’d love to feel Your hand touching mine And tell me why I must keep working on

Yes, I’d give my life To lay my head tonight on a bed Of California stars...”

~California Stars - Billy Bragg and Wilco

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Buck moved with a limp through the beds that were situated outside of the field hospital, the walk from the Cupcakery on Strand all the way to Sawtell had been a long one. The terrain had changed drastically, almost no street signs were up and those that were had been swept far from where they were supposed to be. So, it had taken him at least an hour, possibly two, but he couldn’t be too sure. He’d lost his phone when the first wave had hit and all his focus had been on Chris, first on trying to shield him from the worse of things, and then trying to find him after he’d lost him.

‘I never should have let him go,’ Buck thought desperately, barely paying the rag tied to his arm any mind even when it was completely soaked with his blood by that point. It didn’t matter, nothing mattered expect finding Chris. Because Buck wasn’t sure what he’d do if that little boy... if he was gone. Buck wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

He saw a nurse and his head perked up. “Uh, hey, excuse me,” he said, remembering his manners at the last minute. “I’m-I’m looking for a kid.” His voice was rough and it broke as he spoke, and his head was aching but he had to find Christopher. “Um, he’s got brown hair. Chris-Christopher.”

“Well, I have way too many Christophers on my list. How old?”

“Um, eight... maybe nine,” he said, wincing as he couldn’t remember. His head was starting to hurt even more and he felt like he could collapse at any moment. “His last name is Diaz.”

The woman flipped through the list quickly, but suddenly paused at the third page. “Yes, I have a Christopher Diaz, he’s nine years old.”

Buck felt relief shoot through him so fast that he staggered, the feeling like a physical pain. “Oh, thank God,” he gasped, sounding almost like a sob. “W-where... where is-?”

“Buck?” a familiar voice asked. Buck turned to face Eddie, the man’s eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Wait, what are you doing here?” His eyes locking on the bloody rag wrapped around his right arm. “Are you okay? Wait, where’s Christopher?”

“E-Eddie.. Eddie,” he croaked as he turned to look at his best friend.

“Why do you have his glasses?” Eddie asked, his eyes darkening so they looked more black than brown.

“We um,” he started, wanting to explain. Buck wanted him to understand why he was here but without Chris, even if he’d found him. He’d found him. “M-me and Christopher, we were... at the beach.”

The man was looking at him with eyes already filling with grief and Buck shook his head. “No, listen to me, okay?” The man gave a nod, his eyes already filling with tears. “I lost him...but... but I found him... Eddie, I found him,” he said, voice desperately hopeful as he motioned toward the nurse with the clipboard. He was quickly losing his grip with consciousness, the day’s stress and the blood loss starting to catch up with him, and the all encompassing relief that he’d finally finally found Christopher.

Eddie looked at the woman, moving forward and momentarily forgetting that Buck was hurt. He needed to see about his son. As the nurse pointed where Eddie had to go, Buck could only watch as he rushed away and he sighed with a smile.

In the next second he collapsed, and with no one to catch him, he crumpled to the unforgiving ground.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~

Tony landed on the suit on the roof before he stepped out of it and put it in sentry mode, instructing JARVIS to fly the suit back to Malibu when he confirmed that Buck was there and it was alright that he stay. It was almost midnight when he found his door, knocking on it. There was no answer after the second and then the third round of knocking, and now Tony was starting to worry.

He pulled up his phone and tried dialing his number, but it went straight to voicemail, and grew frustrated. Tony knew it wasn’t exactly legal to ping his phone, but he needed to locate Evan, hoping the man hadn’t done something reckless; like go help when he knew he had a serious blood clot condition. Even then, there was no explanation as to why he couldn’t get his location, because his apartment was out of the flood zone so there was no way for his phone to be damaged.

The man took a deep breath to keep the panic at bay, and then raced back up to the roof as he started pulling up Buck’s Facebook and Instagram accounts. It felt like a cold hand had clamped over his heart when he saw a picture from early this morning of Buck and a very familiar brown haired boy with the location as the Santa Monica Pier; half an hour before the tsunami had hit.

Tony practically threw himself into the suit, blasting up into the air. “J, check the hospitals for an Evan Buckley.” He knew that he’d left Christopher at the VA hospital in Sawtell, and cursed at not having recognized the kid when he’d picked him up earlier. If... Evan was alive (he had to be), and having been separated from the kid meant that he’d be looking for him.

The billionaire knew that Evan had always loved kids, always had card tricks for the few kids that came with their parents to charity events. Evan would make them laugh, showing them his card tricks or telling them jokes; away from their parent’s stern gazes that always told them ‘children are to be seen and not heard’. However, Evan had believed that children should be safe and happy, and he was always overjoyed to give them those secret moments filled with smiles and laughter.

So, Tony knew that Evan would look for that little boy with everything he had. He would search until he had no more strength left in his body, and without regard for his own safety. This made his worry very real, since Evan was on blood-thinners and a deep enough cut might be fatal to him.

He had to find him quickly, and was praying he wasn’t too late. “Evan, you fool,” he growled.

“Sir, there is no answer at any hopsital, and most of the patient and DOA lists haven’t been digitized as of yet.” The last part had Tony feeling cold, thinking that Evan’s name could possibly be on that list. Tony discarded that thought immediately, and instead concentrated on finding Evan, or else he was going to lose his goddamn mind.

His first stop was to go to the field hospital, hoping that maybe Evan had thought to look for Chris there. Perhaps his father had found him and knew something about the blonde man. He wanted to maybe ask his firehouse, but he didn’t remember at the moment what it was, too exhausted and panicked to think straight.

“J, pull up Evan’s file from the LAFD,” he told him. Of course he’d made a copy, since he didn’t want to go back and risk being caught hacking the LAFD again. He was sure he’d get a slap on the wrist, but it was the principle of the thing. Tony Stark did not get caught hacking, he was better than that.

He let JARVIS take control of the armor as he viewed the file, and was surprised when he saw that he was a member of the 118. “Well, I’ll be damned,” he muttered. That meant that he’d been working and helping Evan’s firehouse this whole time and hadn’t even known it. That Bobby Nash was his fire captain.

His eyebrows furrowed. That meant that Chris was one of his friend’s kid. He quickly pulled up his Instagram again and went a few posts back, almost a week ago and the picture of Evan, Chris and Eddie... Eddie Diaz. Well, this was going to be awkward when he met the man again.

Tony pushed all these thoughts to the side and brought his attention to needing to locate the 118. When he’d last seen them they had been going to drop of patients, and since the rest of the hospitals were overrun with victims, that meant the VA hospital on Sawtell. It seemed to all line up and he hoped that’s where Evan ended up as well. As he flew overhead, he saw the mail trucks being unloaded of patients.

Almost every head lifted as he came for a landing, hearing several people calling out to him; either with exclamations of gratitude or people that demanded why he hadn’t been fast enough to save their loved ones. Tony wasn’t angry, since he knew they were grieving. Honestly, he wished he could have been fast enough to save more people, but he was just one person. Even with nine extra suits to help him, he just hadn’t been enough to save everyone.

The Iron Man pilot spotted Bobby Nash right away, the man immediately moving toward him. Tony was relieved when he saw Diaz with a familiar little boy in his arms, Christopher. He wasn’t as dirty as he’d left him earlier in the day, and someone had even changed his clothes. “Tony,” the older man greeted him. “Is there something I can do for you?”

His lips twitched as Tony stepped out of the Iron Man armor and he seemed to realize he was several inches taller than the superhero. Tony would have normally gotten annoyed that he’d forgotten his lifts, but he had more pressing matters at the moment.

“Captain Nash, I’m looking for a... friend, and you might be able to help me.”

The man’s eyebrows furrowed in an expression of confusion. “I don’t know how I could,” he started.

“Evan Buckley,”he said before he could say anything else. “I’m pretty sure he’s in your firehouse?”-

[meraki-arcane]

Cheshire - Room #666

Prompt: The First Line #118

The screams echoed across the parking lot.

The screams echoed across the parking lot. Good ol’ high pitched, schoolgirl banshee screaming. And it was only eight fifteen in the morning. Looks like some new kid forgot to seal a pipe to one of the rooms. It’s as good of a wake up call as any, but I typically found coffee to be much more filling. It doesn’t do so much damage on the ears as the screaming does.

Rifling through my work bag as I cross the pavement to the front doors, I curse my stupidity. It seems I’ve left my earplugs at home today. That’s just fan-freaking-tastic. I’ll be lucky to make it out of this day with any kind of hearing. Especially since it was Thursday. I had him on my list today.

Huffing in irritation, I slam through the glass doors, flashing the security guard my admittance pass as I stormed by. Not like I needed to. I came in more regularly than any of the other workers here. I can thank my demeaning, leering, sexist manager for that. He made it his personal goal to make my life as hellish as possible. I was lucky to get off two days of the week while everyone else got off every other day. It’s a proven fact, after all, that coming in too often can lead to the patient's beginning to affect us. I’ve had to turn into a freaking ice cycle to keep from falling for their pretty lies and false truths. They may believe what they spew, but that doesn’t make it any less wrong. With another growl I clocked in and whirled through the white marble lobby, shoving by the meandering and loitering workers.

I barged into the women’s changing room and hurled my bag into my locker, not feeling any satisfaction from the bang that followed. I ripped off my blouse and my skirt was quick to follow. Then my locket, watch, and earrings. We weren’t allowed to wear anything personal while we were on the job. It was dangerous in some way or another. I don’t really care. As long as they pay me overtime for being here way too often for my own health.

A yanked out my suit, a black one piece, leather with a zipper in the back that ran from the base of my spine to my hair line. No decoration. Plain black that covered from my toes to just beneath my chin, leaving only my face and hands exposed. Which is why I yanked on my white gloves. I didn’t bother with my hair, I’d already braided my dark brown locks before leaving home. No sense of waiting till I got here to do it. My demon manger, or DM for short, would be over the moon to dock me or give me more hours if I was even a minute late.

I’d just shut my locker when Philis slipped in. She gave me a soft smile as she started to get ready for work as well. “Morning Aspen,” she murmured kindly. I just gave her a brisk nod in return.

What was someone so soft and kind doing working at a place like this. This job was the bottom of the barrel, or the top depending on how you looked at it. You got paid boatloads, but the risks were high and the chance of going insane or getting killed were ridiculously high. This was the job for dropouts and deadbeats alike. The ones already hardened enough to withstand the horrors but not hard enough to do something incredibly stupid. The ones smart enough to know what to do and smart enough to keep our traps shut.

Philis slipped into her white suit, her voluptuous curves straining against the leather. Without asking, I came to stand behind her and zipped the thing up with one efficient tug. The poor thing wasn’t flexible enough to reach the zipper at certain points. Again I ask, what on God’s green earth is this lady doing here?

She gave me a small smile in thanks as she gathered her golden locks up and began to twist them into a bun. Shame. She had such lovely hair, but protocol was protocol. Besides, I didn’t want my DM going after her. She was an easy target and he’d pick up on that. Best keep his sights on me alone. I didn’t want to think would happen if he happen to notice Philis.

“Has your uniform not come in yet?” Philis asked, drawing me out of my brooding.

I had to resist rolling my eyes at the question. My DM thought it was great to continue to mix up the color of my uniform every time he ordered new ones for all the staff. That and peeking at my measurements for my suit. ALL of my measurements. Next he’d want to be in the room while they took them. Needless to say, I was never going to get a white uniform like the rest of the people here.

Instead of saying any of this, I said, “Nope. Maybe next shipment.”

Philis frowned, a deep crease appearing between her brows.”Maybe I should speak with Terance.”

Ahhh, that’s right.

Her husband was a big wig. A head of a company or something. It’s why my DM hadn’t made a move on her yet. Moving in on her was moving in on death itself. Touch her and die in agony. Her hubby made that plain as day when he came for a visit one day. I got stuck leading him around. Which wasn’t all that bad considering he’s drop dead gorgeous. Six pack in a suit with styled messy hair and jaded green eyes. Swoon worthy but taken.

As I led him around, he said that he’d make anyone who hurt her disappear to pretty much everyone we ran into. He didn’t give me that message, mine was, “Philis finds you to be a good friend. I’m just glad she has someone to watch her back in this hellhole.”

Took the words right out of my mouth, dear sir.

This place is exactly that.

I realized my mind had wandered and brought it back with a snap. “No. Thanks. I’m sure they’ll have it in soon.”

Lie.

Lie.

Lie.

Not like she knew that though. She was endearingly, sweetly naive. I had every intention of keeping it that way. It was also why she only moved cleaning supplies around, she didn’t assist in the cleaning or even enter the room. She waited outside till I finished and then followed me to the next room. But I wasn’t complaining. Keeping her out was keeping her innocent. Which is why her husband had meddled and got her the job he did. He had my respect for that, even if it meant that I got cleanup duty alone.

“Let’s go,” I muttered as she opened her mouth to protest. Best start early. I was in no mood to stay past eight today.

“Where’s you earplugs?” she asked, noting as I grabbed my clipboard that I didn’t have them with me.

I didn’t bother looking at her as I said, “Forgot them, but it’s an easy group today so it doesn’t matter.”

Ha ha ha ha.

Ha.

Ha.

That was such a load of bull. Today was an awful day to forget them. I’d just need to turn down my temperature some more. Go from ice cycle to full blown dry ice, so cold I burn. Only way to keep these sick son-of-a-guns out of your head.

Philis eyed me dubiously. “Are you sure?” she asked as she grabbed the cart of cleaning supplies.  

No. Absolutely not.

“Yeah. We better hurry or we’ll be late for the first session,” I said, picking up my pace knowing her short legs couldn’t keep up with my long toned ones. It was cruel, but better than having her asking me a thousand and one questions I’d rather not answer.

I checked my clipboard. Yep, Harley first. Room 334, level 3 below ground, moderate security, schedule for an eight forty-five appointment with my DM. And yes, her name was Harley as in Harley Quinn from Batman. Her Joker was only a few rooms down; not like the patients knew that though. I didn’t know her real name, just the one the four-eyes from the security lab labeled her. Not that it mattered. The less I knew, the less chance I was in of coming to care.

I hit the elevator door and slipped inside, Philis huffing behind me. I smacked the button numbered three and felt my stomach lurch as the elevator began dropping. There was about a mile between each floor and five between the top level and ground level. There are ten levels in total, floor one holding the worst of the worst. Floor one was also at the very bottom. Which is where he  was located. It also explained why I hated Thursdays with such a fiery passion. Anyone would if they had to deal with him every. Freaking. Thursday.

Urgh. Sometimes my existance really, truely sucked.

The rest of the way was silent other than Philis humming whatever new Mozart song she was obsessed with today. It changed everyday, but she hummed it all day long. Like a personal radio that was stuck on one channel that was frozen on repeat. Not the worst partner to have though. I had had worse within the five years I’ve been stuck here. Five bloody long year. Longest I’ve ever had. Though at twenty-two that wasn’t saying much. Then again, most cleaners didn’t last past three before needing to be relocated. I was just that lucky.

Or that cursed.

DM was already there, his polished white suit gleaming in the fluorescent light, one foot tapping with impatience. Not that we were late. We were never late; I made sure of that. The bastard was just surly. And early.

“About time,” he snapped, dropping his crossed arms. His dark hair was styled to perfection of course, his dark eyes glowering at us. He’d be downright handsome if he wasn’t such a downright prat.

“We’re on time,” I say, rolling my shoulders, my voice cold. Already I was slipping into my icy state. Cold words. Cold manner. Cold. Cold. Icy. Philis learned never to take it personally, knowing I’d returned to normal the moment I stepped foot back into the changing room. My partners of the past hadn’t been as understanding, but neither had they lasted as long as Philis had.

“Might as well get started,” he said, enthusiasm glinting in his onyx eyes. While I became the queen of ice, he was like a kid in a candy store. Though he was the one doing the questioning and everything. I just cleaned up the mess.

“Where’s your earplugs?” he asked suddenly, finally noticing my lack of usual ear apparel. I shrug, refusing to give him an answer. He’d been trying to get me to ditch the plugs for the last five years. Looks like he’d get his wish for a day, and when I lost my marbles I knew who to come looking to kill first.

A smile curled his lips. “You’re in for a treat today then. It’s the perfect day to leave them behind.”

We both knew he was referring to the man on floor one. Cheshire. Yes, yes, the cat from Alice and Wonderland, Cheshire. The man who made my Thursday’s worse than DM already did. I grabbed the cart from Philis and jerked my chin to the looming white door. With soft laughter he used his key card to open the door and slithered in a cheerful hello echoing from him within the room.

I rolled my shoulders one more time before following him inside, the door snicking shut behind me.

Shoot me now.

Harley had been bad. No doubt. Especially since I lacked my ear stoppers, but Joker had been worse. And Thor even more so. Though at this point, I’m pretty sure Gretel took the top. Her blood will probably be etched into every wall in the room for the next five years I’m here.

Now I have to head to Cheshire. My icy persona is already wavering. One hour with that dolt will have it crashing like a wave. I pinched the bridge of my nose as the elevator carried us down. DM had gone ahead, giving me some peace before everything hit the fan again.

“You okay?” Philis’ whispered, not touching me, knowing I wouldn’t react well to it.

“Peachy. Just have to get through this one and then I can take a two hour lunch break,” I groused, tilting my head upward.

“What makes Cheshire so bad?” Her question was soft, tentative.

I exhaled slowly before looking at her. I had an eyebrow raised before I could stop myself. Was I alright? She was paler than the walls and her hands were shaking like leaves in Autumn. What’s wrong with her? She hasn’t even ever been in a room and already she’s crumbling like a sandcastle.

Instead of asking what’s wrong with her though, I say, “He’s worse than Gretel when it comes to agitating DM. He pushes DM’s buttons at every chance and it gets ugly in there. Not something I want to deal with every Thursday.”

Philis’ eyebrows tug together as the elevator dings. I don’t wait for her as I march toward the next room.

Again, DM is waiting for us. Again he’s tapping his foot and looking like we’ve made him wait ages. Like I said, surly thing.

Approaching, I can’t help but glance toward the room. The number 666 is scribed into the ivory door, with the name Cheshire scrawled on a bronze plaque beneath the number. Someone had a sense of humor that’s for sure for sticking him in this room, but at least he hadn’t been given the name Lucifer.

“Ready?” he growled already moving to the door. I rolled my eyes and took the cart from Philis who had plastered herself against a wall. She looked worse than when she had in the elevator. I quirked my head in question but she just shook her head. Mentally shrugging, I left her outside the room.

Walking in, Cheshire was already strapped onto the chair, patiently waiting, that stupid feline smirk curling his full lips. It was his usual expression, with breaks of extreme pain occasionally twisting his features. A nuisance most of the time, but now that I’m actually going to have to listen to this, it’s going to be ten times worse.

His eyes, which never seem to settle on either blue or green, instantly latching onto me. Again. His eyes always look to me first. Completely disregarding the fact that the one who did the usual questioning and torturing always walked in before her. His smirk turned into a full mega watt smile when he noted her lack of earplugs.

“Well that’s new, Princess. Where’s the mufflers?” he asked, tilting his head as a cat would. His shoulder length ebony hair shifted with the movement, briefly obscuring his eyes from view. Which I was thankful for since it hid my fleeting look of surprise at his voice. With his lithe build, the very opposite of DM, I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t the bass tone that greeted me.  

I didn’t dein a response, trying to keep my face as blank as possible. It was easier that way. Keep the ice up and the madness out. It’s why I wore those stupid earplugs all the time. It’s why I’d lasted as long as I had here. Five years and sane as one could possibly be after watching a bloodbath day in and day out.

“What? No answer? I know you can hear me, darling.”

“Silence,” DM growled, pulling out the trays that held his equipment. Cheshire just smiled, never looking away from me.

“So why the change, Ice Princess? Did your curiosity finally get the better of you?” he asked me, wiggling his eyebrows like a moron. “Or perhaps you could resist it no more and just had to hear my lyrical voice.”

Again, I gave him only my silence. My words were easy to swallow, my want to scowl slightly harder.

“Stand back, Aspen. You’re in my way,” DM snapped, swinging a box cutter around. He was a maniac this one. Wasn’t any way I was getting close to him while he held a sharp object.  

“So, Aspen, huh? That’s your name? No one wears name tags here so I’ve had to give nicknames to all my friends,” he hummed, his eyes trailing over me. “So you are the Ice Princess, though I prefer Princess for short. For him,” he continued, jerking a chin toward DM, “it’s Bellatrix. You know, the crazy chick from Harry Potter.”

Against my will, my eyebrows raised a fraction. This seemed to delight Cheshire to no end. He was almost bouncing in his seat in giddiness. He should had been named Jester for the fool he made of himself.

“Alright, Princess, I’ve got a very serious question for you, so listen very carefully.”

Cheshire leaned forward, as much as he could anyways. The restraints would only let him move so far. His eyes seemed greener now. Or maybe that was just the trick of the light.  

“Did you know your eyes are silver.”

I blinked.

“I mean, gunmetal silver. Not grey or grey blue, but quicksilver. Hey, that could be your name, Quicksilver.”

I really had no idea what to think of that. Or him.

“Enough,” roared DM. He instantly calmed himself.

DM got closer to Cheshire, much closer than he usually did. “Alright, Cheshire. Who are the other rebels? Who do you work for?” he asked, twirling the box cutter between his fingers. It was the same questions every time till an answer was given. The same questions till someone broke. Harley had spat profanities, Joker and Thor hadn’t said a word, and Gretel had laughed. She’d laughed and laughed. Between her screams of agony she’d laughed at us. At me. Like she knew something I didn’t.  

Cheshire looked away from me, finally deciding to look to DM.

He huffed a laugh, amusement dancing across his features. “Don’t look so eager Bellatrix. You already know the answer to those questions,” he drawled, drumming his fingers on the arms of the seat. Everything about his body suggested relaxed and calm. I grudgingly respected him for having such control over himself. I had a feeling I’d be a shaking mess by this point.

A rip echoed through the room.

DM had swung the cutter, tearing through Cheshire’s clothes, leaving a gash across his chest. Cheshire winced, but otherwise let no other signs of pain show. He’d already been through worse before. We all knew this was just a warm up.

“Hey, Princess.”

My gaze that had wandered to the bloody box cutter snapped back toward the patient. Still smiling like always. What it would take to permanently remove that smile? Knowing him, he’d smile even while facing death.

“How about you see me after this? I know a great place to dine and I hear the park is a lovely place to walk this time of year,” he proposed, humming contently, like blood wasn’t running down his stomach. I raised an eyebrow. And then cursed myself soundly. I wasn’t suppose to react to him.

“Cheshire, who are the other rebels? Who helped you hack into the government files?” DM demanded, bringing back the subject at hand.

So. He was the one responsible for the data flooding three years ago. Every person in the world received an e-mail that held classified files. Each person received the file that had held information that had been collected about them. Talk about an uproar. Even I had gotten the email, but the government had been able to remove it before my shift here was done. I’d always wondered what dirt they had had on me.

A dramatic sigh fell from Cheshire’s lips as he rolled his neck, casting a exasperated look upwards. I wondered why people did that. Why do we look up, like we’re looking for answers up in the cloud?

DM closed the distance, putting the tip of the cutter against his collarbone. Mmm, that was going to hurt if he decided to try and slice through the bone. How loudly would Cheshire scream if he did? Would I be able to hear the cutter going through the bone?

Turning away, I rubbed a hand over my forehead. One day without earplugs and I was already going psychotic. No wonder none of the others had lasted long here.

“Aspen,” barked DM, pulling me back around to face them.

Cheshire’s face was lined, strain edging his eyes and mouth. His face had already lost most of its color and it vaguely occurred to me that he could pass out from blood loss, at least then if he did that the interrogation would be over for today.  Unfortunately, DM was usually too careful for that to happen. He wanted to draw this out as long as possible. Surly and sick, what a combination.

“Which way should I go?” DM asked me, shifting his grip on the blade. “In?” he pushed on the blade, getting Cheshire to tense, his stomach and neck muscles clenching. “Or down?” he asked, tugging down on the cutter. Blood welled and dribbled down, joining the rest of the trickles. Cheshire’s face blanched before smoothing out. When DM turned his attention back to his patient, Cheshire grinned at him, though it was more a baring of teeth than anything else.

“Neither.”

Now that got both of the men’s attention. Seems like they hadn’t been expecting me to say that. Cheshire’s eyes were riveted on me as DM pulled the blade away, stood up, and strolled toward me.

DM laid the tainted blade against my cheek, streaking it with blood as he drew it across my face. His onyx iris’ expanded almost swallowing his eyes whole. Creepy creepy.  

“Explain.”

The utter demand in his voice had my hackles rising in defense. I may not be his equal but it didn’t mean I had to like being talked down to like some dog.

I bit my cheek and swallowed my initial retort before saying, “If you draw too much more blood he’s gonna pass out on you. I mean look at the boy. He’s paler than the belly of a fish and he’s breathing isn’t exactly even. I’m surprised he hasn’t passed out already since he looks ready to do so at any moment. So I say neither.” I shrugged, trying to pull up the ice wall I’d used for years. DM’s eyes narrowed, like he was trying to read between the lines. He wouldn’t find anything though, for there was nothing there to read.

He hummed before drawing the box cutter down against my face, flowing down to my throat, stopping where my neck and my shoulder meet. He tapped his blade against it once. Twice. On the third he gently drew it across the spot and before lifting it away. I don’t think I was breathing. This guy could be labeled a genuine lunatic and he was drawing lines all over my throat with a sharp object. Not exactly comforting.

“Smart girl,” he cooed, going back to his tray of gadgets.

I released a sharp breath as I realized he wasn’t going to open my throat for examination. The patients here might be crazy rebels but the interrogators here were lunatic fanatics. Chancing a glance, I found Cheshire’s gaze on me. Though his smile was still on his lips, his face was unreadable. Now who was the creepier one of the two?

Before DM could choose another instrument a ping ran through the room. DM cursed, snatching a small earpiece from the tray and putting it to his ear. Answering a call. Never had that happen before. In the five years I’d been here, that’s roughly 3900 days, never once has there been a phone call in the middle of a session.

I can’t help the suspicion glance I slid to Cheshire. He seemed entirely too composed for this. My eyes narrowed. Was he up to something?

When Cheshire saw my look, a true smile appeared. He seemed to enjoy any reaction he could get from me.

“Looks like we’re cutting this short today,” scowled DM, throwing the earpiece back down before storming out of the room. Well, good bye to you too and good riddance.

Huffing, the stiffness in me disappeared as the door shut behind my demonic manager. He was a piece of work that one. Maybe I should file for replacement, just to get out from under that dolt.

Moving my cart toward Cheshire, I pull out a small can and unscrew the lid. I run my fingers through the yellow cream and smear it along the gash on his chest, sealing the cut and removing the pain. It would take time for it to heal, but now it would do so cleanly and painlessly. The company had a thing against patients getting infections. And slow deaths.

“I still can’t fathom what a little thing like you is doing in a place like this, Princess.”

Ignoring him, I grab a cloth and mop up the blood, soaking it all in with one  swipe. Then I use a spray to remove the stains from his clothing, returning them to a pristine white. Lastly, I use a small machine that stitches his shirt back together and pop a pill in his mouth that’ll help make up the blood that was lost.

Once I’m done with him I’m quick to clean up the blood around his seat and floor before rising. I don’t want to leave Philis out there too long. Her shaken state had been nagging at the back of my mind. I was missing something, but what? What wasn’t I seeing?

I got my answer the moment I stepped out of the room, pulling the cart behind me.

DM had Philis pushed against the wall at the end of the hall. And from the bits of skin I was seeing, I didn’t me long to figure out what he was doing.

“St-stop.”

Philis’ whimper was pain filled and pleading. No wonder she’d been shaking like a leaf if this was happening. But for how long? How long had this been going on without me realizing it? Looks like I was the naive one. Stupid and naive.

The ice I had lacked in Cheshire’s room snapped into place, frigid and unyielding. I stepped back into Cheshire’s room before DM realized I’d seen them. The fury that bubbled inside of me shifted to a razor’s edge. I had wanted to be dry ice and it seemed like I got my wish.

Twisting, I faced Cheshire, whose confused face would have been funny in any other situation.

“Princess, I think that’s the scariest thing I’ve seen since they locked me up here,” he purred, nodding toward my face. I don’t know what it showed and I don’t frankly care. You found you didn't care about a whole lot when you were about to strike a deal with a devil.

“You want out?” I asked, my voice soft, but the softness couldn’t hide the razor edge I was riding on. “You want to get out of this hole?”

One nod.

“Good. Here’s what you have to do,” I said, stalking toward him. I grabbed him by the wrists and leaned forward so that our noses almost touched. “You kill my DM. You slaughter Bellatrix and I’ll make sure you get out. I’ve been here five long years. I know more about this building than the security guards. So you make him suffer and I’ll set you free.”

Cheshire’s pupils flared, the tendons in his arms tensing under my hold. I waited silently, my gaze never leaving his as he contemplated. We both knew the chances of getting out of here was slim but hope was a cruel thing.

That feline smirk appeared, his white teeth flashing as he said, “How much you wanna make him bleed?”

“Till there’s nothing left.”

“Looks like we got ourselves a deal, Princess.”

A smile coiled on my lips as I released his restraints. 

Time to add some color to this white walls.