#but longer than what she has
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Yes yes, ‘Chloe having long hair can represent her becoming more like her original self before her father’s death’ but have you considered that Chloe with a really short undercut would be hot??? 
#life is strange#chloe price#i’m fighting for my life#where is the love for short hair Chloe huh#I like the idea of Chloe with short hair#while Max grows hers out a little#not like#super long#but longer than what she has
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Guess it’s a byproduct of playing the AJ trilogy instead of the original games, but I did NOT know we had official art of the WAA lockers from SoJ??
#OFFICIAL ATHENA CONTENT THAT I HAVENT SEEN SALIVATING AND PACING#OAAAHHGHH!! Oooohhghh…ohhhhhhhhhmygooddddd#she has spare white shirts. Hot!#and a selfie of the ganggg#wait one of the white shirts is longer than the one she wears#did she STEAL SOMEONE ELSES did she just pick up the wrong one why is she so strange#she did eat Trucy’s pudding cup#and she picked up Clay’s jacket after Apollo threw it off in that cutscene#so. She has form.#anyone know what that thing with the suit on taped to the inside of the door is?#athena cykes#apollo justice#Phoenix Wright#ace attorney#spirit of justice#this has been in my drafts for a week ;-;
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Welcome to the Restraint! (Restaurant)
Imagine Danny runs to Gotham and starts squatting in an abandoned old building in Crime Alley. Slowly putting some ecto into the place to claim it as his haunt (while recovering from the sudden loss of his old one). And he does the normal stuff to survive. Finds some odd jobs, often as a messenger, and is just surviving. Another thing he does is make his own food. It’s cheaper than takeout and he’s gotten pretty good at cooking (out of necessity instead of eating sentient hotdogs). Then he ends up accidentally taking in some street kids. Or more like they follow him home. He can’t just turn them away so he makes a meal for them and lets them stay the night then sends them on their way. And then it happens again. And again. And ok, so maybe he saved a girl from getting molested. And that older guy from getting his only good blanket stolen. And sure, maybe letting that poor pizza delivery guy rant was unnecessary but he looked like he was having a bad day ok? Pretty sure that kid with the scar is a meta too but…he needed a place to stay a few nights alright? It’s not like any of them stay permanently. Danny’s started picking up a few more odd jobs to pay for all the extra food he’s had to buy. Always keeping his place stocked. At least he doesn’t have to pay for water and a fridge, he just makes some ice (or melts it). Sure the water is cold, but it’s probbaly the cleanest water in Gotham. And then some of the people start paying. Like…actually paying in exchange for food. Not sure if it’s because of guilt or pity but Danny won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. And with all the money, he hasn’t had to take as many dangerous jobs. Soon, his little abandoned apartment became what’s essentially the closest thing to a legitimate restaurant in Crime Alley.
It didn’t look normal. The chairs and tables were more like old couches and stools pulled up to coffee tables and cabinets turned on their side. Although with the bulling becoming more like Danny’s haunt, the walls naturally started repairing themselves so at least it didn’t look like it was gonna collapse anymore. And ok…so Danny might have rescued a few feral kids who…weirdly have gold eyes. And possibly stopped a meta trafficking ring on accident. And look, these people didn’t have anywhere to go! And the apartment did have empty rooms. It was already known as a place someone could crash for the night (last winter the entire place was cramped with people. Danny had to break up multiple fights but they usually calmed down when he got there.)
One benefit from controlling a haunt is controlling the temperature inside so it was one of the only buildings with ‘heat’. But back to his…strays. So yeah…most didn’t seem like they could rejoin society…so he let them stay. And…they kind of became employees? Impromptu bodyguards? (Some of the golden eyed people almost felt like he was rangling feral ghosts again.) they came in all ages. A few kids, lots of teens, and a few adults. Same with the metas he rescued. They mostly helped deliver food to costumers. They even got a phone line working and could take orders. (Although the new…employees…also got more protective whenever a fight broke out.) With all the extra money he’s been getting he was even able to afford some medical supplies. A lot of his customers(?) came in injured and he tried his best to patch them up but now he could do more than tie some ripped clothing around the wound and use ice to numb it. He’s got bandages. And pain killers. Plus other medical stuff. He can even give someone stickers now! All that experience as an injured vigilante was paying off. Even Villains and goons start attending this place. The place was unofficially designated as one of the Alley’s ‘safe zones’ where no fighting takes place inside (the body guards make sure of it.) the metas and Talons are getting an identity for themselves, the street kids even get a job and a hideout, random people can go there for help or to pass messages, this place provides food, shelter, and medical care. No one wants it going down.
So yeah, welcome to the restaurant!
(I’m debating whether I want this to be the weirdest restaurant/safe place/truce area in the alley, or whether I want Danny to accidentally become a crime lord. Possibly both.)
Also, this place is called the Restraint because I keep misspelling Restaurant and I think Danny would do the same so the name stuck. (Or one of the kids spelled it when making a sign or passing around messages to spread the word of this safe place.)
So anyways, to add some angst, after Danny adopts a bunch of crime alley kids/villains they find out about Danny’s powers and that he’s a ghost, only they don’t know about Halfas so they think Danny is fully dead and this super kind guy who has been the only person to ever treat them like people…died. He died likely a long time ago and there’s nothing any of them can do to change that.
(And if the GIW dare to come into the alley, they better be prepared for the entire place to turn on them.)
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#I kinda like the idea of Danny also being able to cure joker venom#So like what could happen is a recent attack caused some people he knew to get infected#they came into the Restraint laughing while tears trailed down their face and they were gasping like they couldn’t breathe.#Danny can immediatly tell something’s wrong and can practically see their veins glowing green.#They had enough joker venom that it should be perminant but Danny uses his powers.#What he does is concentrate and phase shift them and ONLY them. Letting the venom fall through and splatter the ground with a hiss.#It’s the first time anyone has seen Danny use powers but everyone unanimously agrees never to mention it.#Of course. There are many people people who might then bring their loved ones to Danny. Hoping he could help.#You would be surprised how many kids are in the alley because their parents were gassed with joker venom#and the foster system wouldn’t take them. Or people who lost their jobs to pay for medical bills for loved ones.#So then an alley guy brings his gassed sister in. She had been in the hospital for 2 years now and he knows it’s a long shot.#But he has to try.#It’s harder than the fresh venom since the drug had been more absorbed into the girl. Danny has to really focus and it takes longer#But bit by bit he manages to separate the joker venom and her laughing soon turns to sobbing as her mouth stops smiling.#When he’s done the brother and sister are both crying. The girl is malnourished because it’s hard to eat while laughing but she’ll be ok.#Soon all the alley people start bringing in loved ones. It’s very subtle because there’s NO WAY they are exposing Danny’s abilities.#However people start noticing that joker victims have started to disappear from hospitals.#Danny is covered in scars from vigilantism.#He may or may not have vivisection scars.#Whether it was from phantom and he just escaped before revealing his identity or bad reveal is up to you.
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Bruce: now, for the last part of this meeting
Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Damian, Cass, and Duke: ?
Bruce: -turns around to bring up a power point presentation, the title card of which just reads 'Please Be Normal About Tim'-
Bruce: -turns back around-
Bruce: ...Tim why are you the only one still here
Tim: I just like power point presentations
#Jason keeps beating up Tim and then chasing him around trying to get him to join him#including AFTER Tim kicked him directly in the balls#he had a whole murder board about Tim when he was stalking him#Damian also keeps trying to beat up/kill Tim and prove he is the 'superior Robin'#Dick is generally pretty chill but he and Tim have a history of getting into shenanigans together#also Dick has a tendency to go a bit feral when Tim is involved and hurt#Stephanie once said Tim had a 'bad case of the Stephs' and while I love that for her absolutely not#Cass neither wants to kill Tim nor be romantically entangled with him#which is good!#but like Dick she also goes along with his plans without as many follow up questions as she should probably have#and by 'as many' I mean 'any'#she pretended to stab him through the chest to throw off a bunch of assassins#and I'm pretty sure she didn't question a single second of it#Tim just turned to her like 'I have a fake sword and I need you to pretend to kill me with it'#Cass just gave a thumbs up with no follow-up questions#Duke#my beloved#I know he and Tim don't interact much in canon#but in my heart I feel he would not be normal about Tim either#like regular ass Tim Drake figuring out Batman's secret identity and deciding to just become Robin because Gotham and Batman need it?#attaching rockets to a skateboard to get around?#coming up with insane and convoluted plans and consistencies that don't make sense to anyone else?#plans and contingencies that WORK?#Duke would see Tim as aspirational and go along with whatever insane bullshit nonsense he comes up with just to see what happens#he would 100% be down for whatever Tim has planned and would absolutely feed into it#he just wants to crank that little chaos gremlin up to eleven and watch him go#Bruce is desperate to keep them from interacting in any capacity for longer than thirty seconds at a time because HE KNOWS#HE KNOWS what will happen if they ever team up#it's why he put them on separate shifts#for the record Bruce ALSO had to sit through this presentation
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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Moon 16
Pt 2
Moon 16 p1 | Moon 17
#chasingmoon#chasinglore#silkcff#Silk: light green#Spark: pale#Hollow: white#clangen#whooops maybe should have told her you found her mom a bit earlier#now youre on your own sparkstar good luck#would like to let it be known that spark has only been leader for a moon#he got a lot of responsibility thrown onto him since he wasnt even deputy#before he was leader#not that it matters :D#story aint about him#just in case y'all were wondering why a cat WAY younger than him seems to be able to pull rank on him#its cuz silk actually knows what shes doing and have had a leader role longer than him
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me as an imogen’s selfishness built from her isolation is one of the most interesting things about her truther (which, before someone vagues me on twitter . i don’t think this doesn’t mean she can’t and hasn’t been altruistic but that’s a separate post) + someone who loves when my favourite characters have their lives threatened and/or they die. i am eating well after last night’s ep.
as someone who cares for the world of exandria and despises everytime ashton opens his mouth about the gods and clocked into ashton and ludinus wearing the same hat a while ago . having to listen to them talk about how they’re better than ludinus because (checks notes) they want to do exactly what ludinus wants to but their motives (the exact same kind of trauma that made him tell ludinus to “grow up” . me BEGGING him to take his own advice) are better ??? i’m not eating as well but what can you do.
my grip on this campaign as a completionist who Is enjoying cr even if i don’t think this is a particularly strong campaign is truly resting on the shoulders of imogen impulsive-and-single-minded temult, fearne “if the world’s burning i want a front row seat” calloway, orym “only member of the group capable of a thought for the ‘little guys’ the party claims to stand for” of the air ashari, and chet who is there for vibes (and to protect his family). also shout out to braius for joining the one party where betraying them would make him easily break into the top 3 morally upstanding members of the party.
#do i think the party has to be morally good? absolutely not. should they be if they’re waxing poetic about how hard they’re trying to make#the right decision while refusing to even look at what it obviously the right decision for more than one second?#yeah i think so#cr3#cr spoilers#critical role#imogen temult#anyway imogen’s stuff DELICIOUS as someone who has a shitty jot note maybe someday essay in my drafts about how imogen was forced to grow#out of the single-mindedness and self interest that characterize a lot of her and laudna’s dispositions towards group choices/commitments#has been mostly prompted by the lack of access and permissibility from the group she has to going off the deep end#versus laudna who remained quite stagnant for much longer because there Was permissibility that she go off the deep end because yk. delilah#fucking Psyched that the Minute imogen has an excuse that is quasi informed by the group that she gives in. because in every other#situation where she pondered giving in bh was encouraging her to fight (tho the cast may have been encouraging her to give in)#i’m just. smiling in laura bailey characters with extremely twisted moral systems that spell out exactly the kinds of people they are#(judgemental but affectionately so)
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oh Red Son no-
#i like to headcanon that for years after dbk’s imprisonment#red son didn’t do anything but work on his engineering skills#or just wallowed within his home#pif didnt give a rats butt about what he was doing because she was already miserable dealing with other people#so red son didnt go out much to socialise or learn from the world#meaning there was a lot of things he didnt know about life and himself until after his father was freed#red son has never had any experiece with having feelings#romantic or platonic or anything. he only recognises familial love thats pretty much it#not because he doesnt feel them (duh) but because hes had no one to feel that way about#so becoming friends with goldendragon was pretty hard for him. but he still pulled through#but recognising his feelings for mk being more than that? that was the hardest yet (for everybody)#of course mei figured it out first. and eventually mk did too. but even red son had no clue until they both had to intervene#so red son realising he is no longer as straight as he once thought because of mk is a very real possibility LMAO#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#mk lmk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian#lmk red son#lmk spicynoodles#spicynoodleshipping#monkie kid spicynoodles
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Y2FyZWxlc3NuZXNzCgpub3VuCgpmYWlsdXJlIHRvIGdpdmUgc3VmZmljaWVudCBhdHRlbnRpb24gdG8gYXZvaWRpbmcgaGFybSBvciBlcnJvcnM7IG5lZ2xpZ2VuY2UuCiJtb3N0IHJvYWQgYWNjaWRlbnRzIGFyZSBjYXVzZWQgYnkgY2FyZWxlc3NuZXNzIG9uIHRoZSBwYXJ0IG9mIG1vdG9yaXN0cyI=
Okay I’ve been posting too much silly Puter stuff lately. Party’s over people
#omori#omori au#omori mari#omori sunny#puter au#mariware#cw suicide#tw suicide#haha I love posting silly content for Puter and then remembering it’s the au where everything ever goes wrong#NOBODY is happy for more than five seconds at a time INCLUDING the ai#ANYWAYS this piece is vaguely inspired by Jack stauber’s ‘library’#which is where the line is from. the whole au is very inspired by his work actually!!#I was listening to it and thinking about Puter and more specifically the incident#and how mariware destroyed everything on sunny’s computer#and then also (small lore tidbit here woah) about the fact it’s been five years in universe since sunny’s death#and I was thinking about how mariware destroyed all his online presence and everything. all evidence of his existence is GONE save for her-#-own memory of him#any photos of him during the time SHE knew him are gone. only old ass photos of him as a kid before mari died#which makes me wonder. with all the strain she’s under processing everything because of her sentience#as well as the fact she has no photos of him for reference anymore#would she begin to forget what he looks like? would the vague memories she has of her beloved brother#the one whose death she feels so much remorse and guilt for#begin to grow hazy? would she only be able to remember that moment#that horrific moment where she saw the life leave his body and nothing else?#and that made me sob so I drew it. it’s also really sad because mariware is the only source of information about sunny during the years-#-after the move. she’s already unreliable as it is but do you think the more she tells the more she’d begin to realise she cannot recall?#with how simple her ai was supposed to be in the game originally#her sentience causes a lot of strain on her. and perhaps the less important memories can be filtered out#but the less important happy ones are the ones she wishes she remembered the most ;(((#and now she considers herself a murderer not only because she feels responsible for his death but because she can no longer remember him
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See I don't really believe there are any broader like. Schema of gender in Homestuck in that makes sense. Including Callie's OG gendering of classes but most others don't have a solid "reason" to them. Breath players tend to lean towards transfeminine to me but that doesn't feel like it's because of Breath and so on and so forth.
Basically the only two principles of gender determination in Homestuck I actually abide by are:
Trans characters can be partially determined in certain cases by examine their relationships to other close characters, forming something like a binary (or more) system. Transmasculine Dirk v. Transfeminine Roxy, Femme Transfeminine Gay Jake English v. Butch Transmasc Lesbian Jane Crocker, my Davepeta+ Gender Chart etc. Characters in Homestuck often model themselves in relation to their friends as we do irl.
Space is nigh-exclusively a transfeminine aspect in Homestuck itself. The job of a Space player is to seize and create their own means of creation and species-level reproduction, usually after being deprived of traditional means of womanhood, motherhood, and reproduction.
#literally think about space players all the time and how each of them is deprived of this 'normal' experience of motherhood#kanaya is raised totally separately from every other jadeblood on the planet and her means of resurrecting her species is destroyed#at the moment she is shot in the abdomen#i mean you can't say 'THIS IS A METAPHOR FOR MISCARRIAGE' any louder than that#jade in the epilogues being unable to carry a child because. i mean she has a dick. she's a trans woman. kind of irrefutable#calliope as she stands can never mature into a cherub even capable of reproduction#left with an incomplete predomination at the cost of getting to live again#and we don't get as much from porrim but from what we do know#her righteous indignation and rebellion against the society that told her that her caste and gender meant she would forever serve#as nurturer and reproducer#that she later took a different perspective on once that was no longer available to her... yeah.
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~ Batman: Knightfall
Jean-Paul really traumatized these kids, and he was actually trying to be a good Batman. Poor boy.
But also, Leslie is really looking for a way to blame Bruce (she doesn't know it's not Bruce under the cowl). The kid was talking of what could have happened IF Batman DIDN'T save them, and she's like "So, it's Batman's fault".
#leslie thompkins#bruce wayne#jean paul valley#batman#dc comics#my ramblings#I'm in my era of speaking up about my beef with Bruce's surrogate parents#leslie thinks the worst of bruce like girl be nicer to your son he's a good man#also thinking about that fic I fell upon that one time where Leslie sided with Jason killing people lol#like no grandma Leslie would destroy Jason for what he is doing she doesn’t excuse the tiniest amount of violence#and she has been working in Crime Alley for longer than he has been alive#knightfall
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The research notes on distilling dunamancy found in Brenattos apothecary are so interesting actually. It’s not outright stated who’s notes they are, but with a retrospective lens it’s quite clear that they’re Ludinus’. There are fragments there about his musings on some of Trent’s protégées showing proficiency with early dunamancy, that he is planning to incorporate it into his own skill sets to aid him in his pursuits, and he records how it seems the Kryn have been quote unquote “learning to bend and break the threads of destiny for hundreds of years. Be this truth, I cannot imagine the Raven Queen looks down upon them favorably either, though the thought brings a laugh to my lips.”
#I am going to be honest: I assumed he was aware of dunamancy for MUCH longer than this#but the way its stated implies this was a fairly new discovery#like i was aware that essek giving over the beacons had consequences™️#but I suppose i had not considered it to its full extent before now#why did i think ludinus knew about dunamacy for ages because apparently NOT#also the bit about the raven queen at the end just made me laugh. he’s such as shithead lol#yes another c2 rewatch#cr2e48#also what’s the EITHER at the end there?? what the beef with TRQ??? does she hate you specifically??#i want the hot goss I want to know what he vanguard wear the symbol of TRQ I want to know why HER#otohan used to worship her. ludinus has beef with her. the vanguard wear her symbol#they marbelized HER champion#what the FUCK is up with that
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I genuinely believe Naksu haunts the narrative. Her actions and existence as Naksu heavily impact the entire story. Her past, the life she lived and the shadow of it in Mudeok. But we don't actually know any of it because Naksu is not in the story.
Like. What she lost as Cho Yeong is something that we are never allowed to forget, the loss of her body, her powers, her freedom, and her impending death as a soul shifter hangs over Mudeok's head like guillotine.
All the while we don't actually know the Shadow Assassin Naksu, she died in the first episode, as soon as the story began. Other than training and killing (soul shifters) what kind of person was she when she didn't have to rely on another person else or hide or live as someone else? We don't know and we don't ever learn any of that.
Still, her absence is the plot, yet her former existence as Naksu influences everything; Yul's actions and what she was to him, Jang Uk's goal of returning her powers, the revelation of soul shifters to Park Jin, Jang Gang's departure, Jin Mu's accomplishments, the King's Star even.
Everything is about her existence but she doesn't actually exist at all anymore.
#before anyone disagrees she declares naksu dead in ep 5 or something and tell yul the person he knew no longer exists in ep 19#naksu is dead but the shadow of her hangs over everything#what could have been and what wasn't is mourned in nearly episode#alchemy of souls#also im not saying one life is better than the other but there is always this sense of loss in mudeok that is never forgotten by the story#SHE DESERVED TO LIVE AS HERSELF#Also for me its the tragedy of all of it that makes the show so good#like dont get me wrong im certifiably insane over the romance and would be very happy with the ending offered but even the then the best pa#*the happy ending offered in ep19#is that#she escaped the circle of tragedy shes been trapped in#and has so many people that she loves and cares for now and how those ppl care for her just as much#this post is brought to you by: my mutual and i finally finishing our rewatch
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i can't stop thinking how funny it would be if gareth's brothers did in fact recognise him and were just like 'well clearly he has his reasons so let's all be good big bros and pretend we don't know him' and then spend the next few weeks before he goes off on his quest pretending extremely badly that they have never ever met this kitchen boy before nope not at all even while other knights are looking at them and looking at gareth and going 'hmmm'
#gawain can't resist giving weird brotherly pep talks every time he passes him like 'keep up the good work kid! we're all rooting for you!'#and then turns to ragnelle to whisper loudly 'that was ok that was normal and convincing right' while she rolls her eyes#gaheris bumps into him in a corridor and startles like a deer and is like 'hahaha random kitchen boy i certainly have never met before what#fine weather we are having in these parts hahaha i shall be leaving now through the door over there good bye' and then#walks into a broom cupboard and has to awkwardly back out again while gareth stands there#holding a broom that he was just about to put back in the broom cupboard#agravaine nearly manages to pass by without incident while gareth is scrubbing floors but at the last second brotherly instinct takes over#and he kicks the bucket of suds over yelling 'you missed a spot dickwad!' before sprinting away#gareth is just 'wow my brothers are bigger freaks and weirdos than i remember i don't want to be associated with these losers'#meanwhile arthur is like 'kay can you please just tell them all that you know who he is because i cannot take this farce much longer'#kay: ... oh so now im not allowed to have fun am i? fucking tyrant
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as a tragic doomed siblings enjoyer what are your headcannons about dirge/orin's relationship pre-betrayal? care to elaborate on what was going on with them based on what we know? when do u think the resentment from orin rly started peculating?
this is an EXCELLENT excuse to have somethin i can quickly refer to for autosarcophagy thank you 💜💜💜
so a LOT of it is speculation and headcanons with most of our canon sources being close to the end of their pre game interactions with each other. We know Orin resented Durge for taking what she felt was her spot, we know Durge demeaned her ritual murders and scoffed at the idea of fighting her for the role of Chosen, we know Sarevok essentially led Orin on by acting like she was ever anything more than a sacrifice, and we know that the cult of Bhaal isn't entirely pleased with the change in leadership. It's a fairly straightforward tale of resentment and betrayal and an unworthy upstart claiming what shouldn't be theirs out of jealousy, but I like to throw wrenches in the works and add fun complicating emotions in like genuine admiration and sibling affection
a core aspect to Dirge is that, much like real world wolves, he is deeply family oriented. upon arriving at the temple of Bhaal, he has killed his only family, and only has Sceleritas as company, who at this point is more cagey than comforting for him. hes lonely, and scared, and vulnerable, and is coming off a profoundly miserable experience roughing it in Baldur's Gate. the temple delivers on the one form of connection Dirge craves more than anything: not only is there family, there are siblings.
Dirge technically has four siblings waiting for him at the temple. Haflidi, who at this point would be either an older teenager or a young adult, an angry spiteful vindictive barbarian goliath. Ornaryn, a drow vengeance paladin, who IS invested in trying to make sure the Temple's newest additions aren't horrifically traumatized (and near immediately removed from influence and forced to travel to the other side of the continent). Zherimon, the eldest, a tiefling paladin serving as the current head of the cult (begrudgingly). And Orin. Not only is Orin close to his age, she's also the only one who's as happy to see him as he is to see her. His other siblings are all emotionally unavailable for one reason or another, but Orin is here and Orin is excited and now he finally doesn't have to be alone anymore. He latches onto her very quickly, and throughout his entire time with the cult, she's the only one he was ever close to.
Orin is canonically the youngest in the cult to ever achieve the rank of Unholy Assassin, which, given that shes close to Dirge's age, would mean she achieved that lofty goal BEFORE him, and I like to think this is another example of Orin's latent natural talents and skills that eventually contribute to her feeling ignored and overshadowed. Because for at least half of their lives together, it would've been the other way around. Dirge and his prodigy sister, who had already served as Bhaal's mouthpiece once before in the ritualistic killing of her mother. Ironically its a relationship they were both happy with. Dirge arrives at the temple emotionally distraught, but now Orin finally has a playmate her own age, AND hes going to join the temple, same as her! Finally someone she can practice murder with that isn't grandpa Sarevok!
Dirge is a crybaby as a kid, and hes quiet and deferential. This is a new place, with lots of new people (and he's never been fond of new people), and he still feels sick about his parents, but he hits it off with Orin immediately. Orin has a strong mischief streak, emboldened by her shapeshifting, and she ADORES having someone to teach and be superior to. Dirge in turn is happy to have someone who delights in teaching him, because a lot of whats going on is confusing and unintuitive and upsetting. Orin softens his early years of indoctrination into something that could even be construed as pleasant. She excels and pulls ahead, and she bullies her brother for being a crybaby, but she still reaches out behind her to help pull him back up. Orin very much takes on the role of "big sister" even though its a negligble distinction given their circumstances. She teaches him how to delight in torture, makes the doctrine of nihilism make sense, emphasizes that the two of them are special and chosen and important, that they dont have to care what other people think, because theyre stupid and wrong anyways. She diminishes the pain he feels from killing his parents by affirming what SHES been taught, that it was a good and holy and rightous thing and he deserved to be rewarded for it, just like she was (though maybe not the SAME reward because SHES going to lead the temple one day!). Sarevok and Zherimon have already decided on grooming Dirge for the role instead, knowing EXACTLY the difference between them, but both Dirge and Orin are children, whats more important is making sure Dirge is properly indoctrinated, and Orin is very useful for that.
Theyre thick as thieves for most of their childhoods, Dirge perfectly content to trail behind Orin wherever she goes, and to follow her progress right on her heels. Orin definitely has the most energy of the two, and she delights in playing leader, deciding exactly what games the two of them will be playing and where, while Dirge pads along behind her. She gets into the habit of shapeshifting into him for one of her favorite games, that being "find ways to bully and harass the other initiates in the barracks and avoid trouble by making sure no one can tell who's who". As Orins changeling nature is well known, you can never really tell if your looking at Dirge or looking at Orin, who will tell you whichever is more confusing at the moment. As changelings and dopplegangers have empathetic abilities, this also means that Orin is extremely keyed in to Dirge's emotional state. She typically uses this to lightly bully him, but also typically follows that up with attempts at genuine comfort, because a good leader has subordinates happy to follow them, and makes sure theyre taken care of well enough to serve. Theyre siblings, and theyre best friends, and theyre little hellions, and Orin knows every crack and crevice in the temple and where exactly there are spots too small for the grownups to follow them that the two of them can still crawl through. The cult is slowly but inevitably carving away their empathy for the world outside, bringing them into a miserable ideology of death dealing and slaughter, and isolating them from anyone who could ever break them free, but right now they are small and close and she is showing Dirge exactly where to stab in a rats belly to make all the guts come out, and when he scrunches his tiny face in disgust she'll call him all sorts of names, but take his tiny hand in her own and hold the knife together nonetheless
Dirge doesnt resent Orin when she makes rank before him. He doesnt resent Orin when she excels, when she grasps the knifework faster, memorizes the doctrine quicker. He doesnt resent her when she gets assignments first, or when they work together and she takes the lead. Thats the goal hes chasing, after all. To be as good as his sister. To eventually pull ahead. To play chase like they always do. But when he DOES pull ahead, when the lead he has grows but never shrinks, its equal parts pride and confusion. Proud to finally surpass her, confusion that he KEEPS surpassing her. Shes slower to catch up, angrier about it. It isnt resentment, not yet, just frustration. Theres something hes stumbled into that she hasnt gotten yet. More reasons to train together, after all, put their heads together and work it out. But when the cult finally passes down the mantle of leadership, it doesnt pass into Orin's hands, youngest Assassin, pre chosen vessel of Bhaal. For reasons neither of them understand, it goes to Dirge instead. Purest bhaalspawn, severed hand of their God let loose, the one true prophet of armageddon. It doesnt make sense, but hes trained so hard and come so far, he wont dissapoint their Father now. its a bitter pill orin doesnt swallow easily. its there the resentment starts
The gap wont ever close now, not really. Dirge is too neurotic, too anxious and obsessed. He leaves no breathing room for anyone to pick up the slack, because he leaves none, will not ever give the slightest hints of being unworthy. Its suffocating. Diminished, demeaned, forgotten, Orin falls to the wayside, swallowed within an ever lengthening shadow, and he never turns to her, never reaches back. Pushing himself to the breaking point, and then far past it, and now HIS word is law, is doctrine, when it should have been HER, she who spoke with Bhaal's voice when all he has is fleeting visions. The resentment grows, made all the more acrid by the sweet memories of yesteryear. Its like everything shes worked for means nothing, and now he wont even cast a glance her way. Seeing him less and less, and then never as himself, always acting as Leader, Prophet, Idol, everything the cult needed and more, and now when habit rears up and she takes his face to talk to him, he scowls at what he sees. Like the bastard ever had a leg to stand on, she knows what he is, pathetic weak crybaby bloodkin trailing in her wake, acting big and strong now that hes special. Now that hes chosen. Like he knows something she doesnt. Like he could ever know something she doesnt. Grandfather calls him proud, arrogant, and theres no other explanation for the cold she feels from him, inside his skin, its cold arrogant bastard pride for finally besting her at the only game that mattered.
It falls apart slowly over the years. Sarevok, and then Zherimon, instilled in Dirge the need for perfection, to serve as Bhaal's will on earth, and the need for it burrowed deep into Dirge's psyche and consumed everything else around it. He loves his sister. He misses her. But this life is hell and Bhaal's expectations for his chosen spawn are cruel and exacting. All Orin needs to do is what shes always been good at, thats enough. He'll take on everything else so she isnt choked or constrained, so she has room to flourish. He's pulling further and further away from her and it hurts but theres nothing to be done for it, because its Father's will (HIS father, not that he could ever stand to tell Orin, and take from her yet something else, another pillar she stands lofty upon). Shes more than a sacrifice, thats obvious by the way she holds a blade, and Dirge refuses to waste her potential in a single sacrifice to Bhaal, when together they could bring so much more glory to Him at each others sides. He won't take the duel. If she wants for them to kill each other, she must promise a death so glorious as to make this single murder worth more than all the slaughter they could achieve together. The idea is laughable. Somewhere in the back of his mind behind a door that wont stay locked is a treasured sentimental sin, two tiny bodies pressed together in a crevice only barely big enough for them both, outside a man about to be flogged for his failure calls out a name neither of them respond to, and all else is quiet save for the hushed giggles swallowed by the stone. No, she isn't worthy. She isn't worthy by far.
Its a mix of Dirge taking on as much responsibility as he can while leading the cult to give Orin more freedom, and Orin having next to nothing to do with all that extra time and lack of duties beyond ruminating on the discrepancy between them. It feels like she isnt trusted or considered good enough anymore, when she clearly remembers the opposite, and the more he pulls away the more she hates him for it. The resentment is tempered by religious duty and childhood memories, but even though Dirge makes attempts to try and bridge the gap, the circumstances are that there really isnt anything he can do. I like to headcanon that Dirge helped Orin make her skin suit, because he has a noted habit of taxidermy and human leatherworking, as a way to try to reach out to her, but the inertia has built up too much to stop whats going to happen. It was doomed to fall apart at the start, driven by forces neither of them could have even hoped to work against.
The love was always there, but it just made it hurt.
#dirgeposting#orin#bg3 orin#orin the red#bg3 durge#bg3 dark urge#bg3 the dark urge#durge#the dark urge#bg3#bg3 headcanons#throwing this in the main tags cuz i feel like it hits enough character analysis points to be worth it#DOOMED SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!#i think when she finally stabs him at moonrise she freaks the fuck out#because shes felt this way for so long she never thought shed act on it. and now that she has shes lost something she wont ever get back#so she has to force herself to come to terms with burning her bridges on accident. retroactively justify them. revel in them#she hates him more after she lobotomizes him cuz she has to have it make sense. it has to be uncomplicated for her to live with it#but at the moment? shes terrified. thats her BROTHER. thats the same small little boy who needed her to show him how to hit an artery#what has she done? what has she done? what she had to. its the only way it makes sense#also love when you have someone whos Blind despite being able to See.#orin knows him better than anyone. can SEE him better than anyone. but past a certain point can no longer understand WHAT she sees#its being around someone 24/7 but still being strangers.
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before everyone gets sent to the middle of the galaxy*, we don’t see chibichibi do that much that could be described as interference with the past timeline but one thing she does do- the first thing she does at all- is rescue kakyuu. it's at least implied that kakyuu would have died otherwise- she even tells the starlights "Several times I tried to go to you. But my body's recovery took longer than expected... ChibiChibi was the one who helped me a lot." ultimately kakyuu helps usagi get to the galaxy cauldron, meaning her presence isn't inconsequential.
chibichibi also attempts to prevent the starlights from meeting kakyuu. she refuses when they ask and also did not at any point bring kakyuu's incense jail to them. now she obviously didn't feel that strongly about preventing it, she could blow up the starlights if she wanted, but i don't think she would've initially been against it for zero reason. and there is no way she doesn't already know their relationship even if you ignore that chibichibi is sailor moon from the future because she's been regularly talking with kakyuu about the starlights over the past few weeks or so.
this leaves me with some questions:
-what happens in the ‘first’ timeline that chibichibi/sailor cosmos originated from? mainly, does kakyuu live or die in that timeline? we don't actually know for sure despite the implication. does she live, but in a worse/damaged state? if she did die, how does chibichibi know her at all- hearing about her from the 'first' timeline starlights?
-why try to keep kakyuu from the starlights? attempted damage control to prevent the timeline from getting too different?
-if chibichibi’s interference caused kakyuu to live when she originally died, why do this? did she want someone to temporarily keep usagi company after all her friends died? did she just feel bad for kakyuu? did she know having kakyuu alive would get them to the galaxy cauldron more efficiently? clearly sailor moon got there one way or another in the ‘first’ timeline, and kakyuu implies that her star system (and by extension herself, as a princess) is just one of many that are all less powerful than our solar system, meaning she likely doesn’t possess the unique ability to travel there. it seems she just CAN help usagi get there because she knows where it is. but chibichibi herself could fulfill that role. so kakyuu is not necessary to get to the galaxy cauldron. therefore...?
i don't have answers. maybe to her it's like a videogame she's playing for the second time and she's like Ok This time i will see what happens if kakyuu lives. maybe she genuinely didn't know/forgot who kakyuu was and found her on the side of the road and was like 'well i might as well help this random passed out cosplayer while i'm here' and then it was thee alien princess and she was like I can't kill her now it'd be awkwarddddd. intergalactic toddler of mystery
#sailor moon#sailor moon cosmos#chibichibi#princess kakyuu#sailor cosmos#*= by the time usagi and co. are out of tokyo and into space chibichibi is more active but i think by that point things are so different#she can't uninvolve herself. here i'm just discussing what i think was her first and therefore least explicable deviation. end of footnote#anyway... notice chibichibi didn't even really try and help the solar system senshi live longer LOL#YOUR deaths are plot necessary sorry.#at the end cosmos does say she wanted to guide usagi to make the 'right choice' at the cauldron but#i fail to see how kakyuu being around impacts that in any way at all#did cosmos think Well i didn't want to destroy the world when i MERELY saw all my best friends die in front of me#but maybe if past-me also befriends no less than 4 hot aliens and has to watch them die as well#she'll be just traumatized enough to go through with destroying the world this time. ?
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