#but listen with alternia the way it is

[tgcg]

part 3 of something specific

CG: SO YEAH, THERE’S NOTHING BLACK ABOUT HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SET UP BEYOND PURE SUPERFICIALITY. THEIR RIVALRY IS TEXTUALLY POSITIVE BOTH TO THEM AND FOR THEM, BECAUSE IT LEADS TO THE DISCOVERY OF THEIR STRONGEST BONDS, WHICH ARE TO EACH OTHER. AS SOON AS SASUKE DISCOVERS HIS BROTHER’S RETURN, HIS IMMEDIATE CONCERN IS TO GO OUT OF HIS WAY AND FIND NARUTO TO ENSURE HIS SAFETY.

TG: (man how is karkats hair always the exact same amount of messy)

CG: SASUKE FINDS NARUTO ANNOYING, BUT SO DOES LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IN HIS VICINITY! SO IT’S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE A UNIQUE BOND REGARDING ANY CONTEMPT FOR ONE ANOTHER.

TG: (its like hes got that shit down to a science)

CG: THEY DON’T HATE EACH OTHER DEEP DOWN! AND THAT’S THE CRUCIAL PART, THE ABSENTEE SUPPORT BEAM THAT PROMPTS THE FOUNDATIONS OF BLACKROM TO CRUMBLE IN ON THEMSELF. NO DAVE, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS DEFINED BY EMPATHY AND COMPASSION.

TG: (professor sepulchritude were noticing a 0.6% decrease in the angle of elevation in the frontmost swoop)

CG: NARUTO KNOWS ALMOST FROM THE BEGINNING THAT ANY HATRED SASUKE HOLDS FOR THE WORLD ISN’T DIRECTED AT HIM WHATSOEVER. HE DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGES THIS WITHIN THE TEXT!

TG: (unacceptable doctor dicktopus, apply several degrees worth of emotional turmoil and see to it that the issue is ass blasted to oblivion)

TG: (fuck yes sir)

CG: SASUKE SAYS HIMSELF THAT HE FINDS SAKURA REALLY ANNOYING, AND SAKURA IS IN TURN MOST ANNOYED BY NARUTO.

CG: AGAIN, SQUANDERED POTENTIAL. FUCK THAT.

TG: (is it natural or premeditated is some kind of product involved)

TG: (did alternia have fucked up guerilla combs designed to mangle your hair just right)

CG: … DAVE?

TG: (actually hell nah i couldnt see him doing that in a billion shitty troll sweeps)

CG: METEOR TO FUCKING DAVE?

TG: (no doubt he just rocks up like that)

TG: (man looks the same every day)

CG: DAVE!

TG: (shit abort)

CG: GOD DAMNIT. YOU AREN’T LISTENING ARE YOU? YOU’RE DOING THAT THING AGAIN WHERE YOUR LIPS START MOVING WHILE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING YOU SOMETHING! JEGUS, AT LEAST HAVE THE BASIC TROLLIAN DECENCY TO INTERRUPT ME WITH CONVICTION IF YOU'RE GOING TO HUMOUR AN EXCHANGE IN CULTURE, YOU ABSOLUTE TOOL.

CG: DID YOU EVEN GET A WORD OF WHAT I SAID?

CG: WELL YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ASKED, CHUCKLEFUCK! SO--

TG: yeah theyre just quivering in tearful delight at self recognition through the other dude

TG: if not for these sick shades youd be moved to shit by the glistening eyejuice gathering in these peepholes

TG: fit to burst but i remain static in the face of euphoria

TG: im protecting your ass such as a knight is pretty much wont to do

CG: PFF, WHATEVER, “DUDE”.

[mcbeetlebeeb]

I'm currently getting into a fandom that isn't homestuck, but I can't turn down a request :3

these will still be headcannons and- uhrm- yea

Gamzee Makara

He is, talking about some mystical shit dude

I think hed appreciate someone who just listens too him blabber

don't ask me why but he'd like to naw on you

not full fledged biting a chunk out of you

I think he's too aware of how sharp his teeth are to go biting down that hard, but yknow

nipping at you gently, but not before he was smothering you in sloppy clown kisses

this is real specific but I think hed have the type of eyes that you can't seem to keep eye contact with

he's just so much taller and just has this lopsided shiteating grin, that shows most of his sharp ass teeth

I'd like to think his eyes are always that half lidded gaze, especially when it's at you

but no intent behind the looks he gives, fuck- probably no thoughts either

lights on no one home

don't get me wrong, he's not dumb,

in the simplest sense hes a big ol airhead

yknow a dingbat, a bit of a scatterbrain

but he's not like- vegetable for a brain dumb as hell

and thats another thing, it's definitely really convincing to probably think that he's yknow, not all there

but it throws you off gaurd x2 when he'd get all close and murmur and mumble certain things too you

he looked like he had a maximum of 3 thoughts floating around in his brain

but here he is, mumbling in a low almost gravely tone, right by your ear

I love to think he's one of those tall people to rest his arm playfully on your head if your shorter, which you most likely are-

can't recall if I mentioned the last time sense I have a rubber ducky keeping track of my memory

but I think hed be cold all the time

not like, bothersomely fridged

but enough to make you shiver and squirm if he were to press his hand to your skin, noticeable enough for you to verbally go "Damn-"

also!! I think hed be a huge sucker for you just holding his face with your hands, letting him relax against you, eyes shut

still grinning a bit and letting that low rumbling purr come from him

and this also means playing with his hair,

pet him damn it he demands it

no, not really more like laying and being in your space, following you round until you pay attention properly too him

sense most trolls can't- yknow- go out in the middle of the day because of their intense asf sun, trolls are nocturnal

so like if you ever took a photo with him with flash his eyes would do that reflective thing that cats have

or for another example, yknow how in the dark the first thing you spot about your black cat is its eyes?

yeah that

like I said in the other headcannon thingy, he's just always lurking and looming, he likes knowing what your doing even if he's not involved

and this comes with him trailing around you like a dog that sees you have food and knows you'll give it too them at some point

wether it be from afar or close, don't assume he's not close by, him being a purple blood im sure he's well aware of how violent trolls can be,

but with you around! oh he can't let you wonder off too far- Alternia's atmosphere is dangerous and the fauna is even more dangerous-

so don't expect to go very far without him trailing behind you

but he'd understand if you explained too him you wanted time too yourself or with somebody else one on one

I dont think hed be a jealous person, maybe a lil possessive! but he's not overbearing with it

he just wants you safe and content, and he wants you too feel that way around him

have a song I think fits his uh? vibe towards? significant other? because 🎉

Dave Strider

mm have I said he's a genuinely a big goof?

but I think that'd be something someone gets right off the bat

maybe

if you can pick up on someone trailing off on tangents of meaningless words that can go on and on without someone actually ever responding

than it's pretty visable

I think itd be pretty adorable though (I know I'm gay, whatever)

like if he were to start talking about something, anything, and you gave a simple short response, he's gonna take that and run with it

especially if he likes you

I think hed definitely be one too stare

but how could you tell? he's always wearing those shades

probably a good reason why he wears them other than ironic purposes

so no one sees what or where or in this case who he's lookin at

constantly staring though, wether it's you having a conversation with you or, you doing something random he's just watching

no actual thoughts id like to say

just observing

watching you be you, do your own natural thing, picking up on the way you talk or gesture at stuff

I cannot urge this enough but I still firmly believe physical touch would be a very special thing too him

it's not impossible or looked down upon too be able to hold his hand or lean against him

but he'd be mentally noting each touch, each expression you make, listening intently too your tone, hoping your doing the same

but with these actions he'd be straight faced as always, but he can feel his hands tremble ever so slightly, he recognizes his heart beat picking up

unfamiliar with these feelings with how they're being presented yknow?

most times he ever feels this way he's in danger

but he knows he couldn't be safer right now, like he wants to believe that, it's not hard for him to believe it

but his body is just hardwired to tense up, clench his jaw and steady the shakey breathing

but being patient and respectful would melt those feelings away really easy I'd like too think

just sitting there and slowly showing affection, brushing thumbs against his knuckles, tracing over fingers

you focus on his hand, flipping it over and thumbing at his vaguely sweaty palm, hand still shaking faintly in your gentle grasp

he'd just stare at you, in disbelief and adoration, and realization that he doesnt need to be poker faced round you

that he doesnt need to put up a front to protect himself, the squishy parts of him he learned to shove away to get along with life

a big sigh of relief to say the least,

but once he realizes he doesn't need to be someone else for you, he can just be him, no expectations or demands, he can rely on someone else for once

you ain't ever gettin rid of him after that, he's not clingy but he's no longer keeping you at arms length, not now, not ever again

AND HE GETS MUSIC THING because he is my favorite right next too the crab man <3

author note: I feel this sucked a big booty buttload but I was already half way done with it when I dubbed it that, so have this anyway!!!

[ask-turnedtechgodhead]

this thing on

fuck yes aight check this shit out-

DAVE, I'VE BEGRUDGINGLY COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT STANDING IN A CORNER ALONE SPEWING THE TYPE OF NONSENSICAL BABBLE ONE MIGHT EXPECT FROM A WRIGGLER IS WHAT PASSES FOR ENTERTAINMENT IN YOUR EMPTY THINK PAN.

I'VE EVEN BEGUN TO APPRECIATE IT, IF ONLY BECAUSE WE NEEDED *SOMETHING* TO FILL THE AGONISINGLY LONG SWEEP WE WERE STUCK ON THAT OTHERWISE SILENT AND YET SOMEHOW JUST AS MISERABLE FUCKING ROCK HURTLING THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS CERTAIN DEATH. BUT WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING SHIT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT BULBOUS FUCKING OVERGROWTH JAMMED AGAINST YOUR RIDICULOUS EYEWEAR?

damn man i thought we covered this in our human tech 101 lessons. its a camera- I KNOW ITS A CAMERA. I WAS TRYING TO LOWER MYSELF TO YOUR LEVEL SO THAT MAYBE YOU WOULD DECIDE TO GRACE ME WITH YOUR ATTENTION AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY. try harder SHUT UP. AND ANSWER THE QUESTION. how the hell am i supposed to answer the question if im shutting up? cant have it both ways bro. cant just have your cake and eat it too you either eat that bitch or shut your mouth forever and starve to death- HOLY SHIT WE BOTH KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO SHUT UP EITHER WAY. COULD YOU AT LEAST DO ME THE MERCY OF TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING BEFORE I DROWN IN THE PUTRID STREAM OF BULLSHIT CASCADING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

documentary CARE TO EXPAND UPON THAT? OR AM I NOT WORTHY ENOUGH TO GET MORE THAN ONE WORD OUT OF YOU? SHOULD I BE PROSTRATING BEFORE YOU THANKING YOU FOR DEIGNING TO GRACE ME WITH ONE WORD FROM YOUR TIGHT ASS LIPS? 'DOCUMENTARY'. TRULY A HOLY WORD. RELIGIONS WILL FORM AROUND THIS ONE WORD, DAVE. HOLY BOOKS WILL BE WRITTEN ABOUT THOSE ELEVEN LETTERS. TODAY WILL BE CELEBRATED NOT AS THE DAY WE CREATED A NEW UNIVERSE, NO- TODAY WILL BE FOREVER MARKED AS THE DAY DAVE FUCKING STRIDER SAID 'DOCUMENTARY'-

AND GET THAT FUCKING THING OUT OF MY FACE YOU NOOKWHIFFER

holy shit check it out im being censored already

karkat do you support censorship

is this what this is karkat

is this where we find out that this entire session has been your master plan to create a new world for you to go stalin on its ass

because dude im so down to create some propaganda for supreme leader vantases glorious reign

just let me finish this shit first cmon man

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'THIS SHIT' IS?

i told you man

IF YOU SAY DOCUMENTARY I SWEAR-

documentary

about the creation of the new universe

no big deal or nothing just thought it could be mildly interesting to get on camera

idk ill probably tape over it later for some shitty sitcom rerun

do you think theyll have the simpsons on the new planet

god i hope they do

AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS.

troll the simpsons

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT 'TROLL' IN FRONT OF SOME PANDEAD EARTH THING AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AND HONESTLY, I'M DOWNRIGHT FUCKING INSULTED THAT YOU'D THINK THAT ALTERNIA HAD ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY COMPARABLE TO YOUR EYEGOUGING EXCUSES FOR 'MEDIA'. MY PLANET ACTUALLY HAD STANDARDS, UNLIKE YOUR MISERABLE PILE OF DIRT.

says the guy that was responsible for that pile of dirt

and didnt even record its creation

imagine being an absent father to a whole universe karkat. what the fuck man

thank god im here to break the cycle of abuse

OH, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RECORD YOUR WASTE OF SPACE PLANET BEING CREATED - I WAS TOO BUSY NEARLY GETTING MURDERED BY THE MURDERBEAST *YOU*-

oh shit idiot shuts up now

thats you youre the idiot

STRIDER I SWEAR TO FUCK

dude seriously shut up

hes doing it man

hes making it hapen

=>

[bluekittyyoyo]

ALTERNIAN CULTURE ANALYSIS: APATHY AS ANTITHESIS. AN ESSAY ON TROLL SOCIETY'S UNDERSTANDING OF EMOTIONS

listen to me. it only makes logical sense that trolls would have a strong understanding of the idea that the opposite of "love" is actually antipathy; having no strong feelings whatsoever. I know what you're saying, "but the quadrants have love and hate as a dichotomy, they clearly think of hate as love's antithesis-" no. wrong. the quadrants are obviously not representative of every emotion a troll can have, the quadrants are a concept of ROMANCE. see there's the keyword here. love and hate are both integral parts of this romance, they do not exist in opposition to each other as in one cancels out the other, they are two sides of the same coin. having quadrant feelings for someone regardless of alignment is indicative of caring about them, of being passionate about them. I know those words typically have purely positive connotations when used about human romantic understandings but disconnect that for a second. basically it comes down to a slightly warped version of "horseshoe theory" (where supposed opposites, in this case love and hate, are actually closer together than the middleground). I think this concept is firmly supported by canon, examples off the top of my head:

from the quadrants explanation;

"The relationships each quadrant describes tend to be malleable, if not volatile,"

as stated with the pitched/flushed vacillation and the canon examples of pale/flushed, but also I think it is implied (though less so) that it applies to every quadrant and there are many ways unexplored in canon that every quadrant can bleed into another.

this famous line:

"It should be noted that in troll language, the word for friend is exactly the same as the word for enemy."

this quote being on the page where equius pesters gamzee, citing that he does so with regularity and thus considers him a "friend" (but that's not the whole picture). this adds to the notion of these relationships not being considered opposite but stemming from the same root idea of investment in a person.

I think it's very interesting because I believe the authorial intentions of incorporating hate as an integral part of troll society and culture is meant to contribute to the idea of them as a cruel and violent society, and while that may have some truth for the ways in which individuals treat each other peer-to-peer in average situations I actually think the real overarching effect it has is trolls coming off as a more emotionally honest society at the cost of simplicity and peace.

the implications of hate being considered on equal terms with love to me paint an image of a society that encourages embracing all emotions to the fullest extent, a society that might even consider the worst thing you can be not as someone who is filled with hate but in fact someone who does not care at all. I'm reminded of the conversation between vriska and aradia in hivebent:

vriska calling her a "miserable soulless witch" followed by repeating she hates her and "only regrets killing her cause it made her so BORING!!!!!!!!"

of course we also see plenty of times that "not giving a shit" is a thing that trolls are naturally inclined to do because you only have so much emotional resource to devote to a finite amount of things. moreover that alternia is a society that encourages emotional "balance", to embrace the love and the hate both with the same passion.

again as karkat rants to vriska also in hivebent:

"A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS."

you may also recognize this conversation as the same one where karkat claims this (rather infamously imo):

"PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE."

(adding more to the "trolls believe hate and love come from the same emotional source" pile even if the manner of it is slightly off-center here)

and vriska's response to karkat's ranting:

"Did you learn this crap from your awful romance movies?" "THEY'RE REALLY INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY."

I hope this presentation makes it clear but for the audience in the back: karkat's interpretation of emotional composition of trolls is most likely complete bullshit and not at all factual nor, in my opinion, should be taken as biological information about trolls. for that reason I believe the reference to humoral medicine is completely intentional, invoking the imagerey of bullshit pseudoscience. just in the same way as I don't think it would be reasonable to make any similar claim about the nature of human emotions (and anyone who does is trying to sell you something). in A6A615 dave even states that "both humans and trolls are emotionally versatile sentient beings that can feel many hells of different things".

what I'm mainly getting at here using these quotes is that there is a cultural precedent for the claims he is making. karkat did not spawn these ideas about emotions out of thin air or scientific research, he got them from watching romance films. which particularly, as presumably low-culture media in much the same fashion as our own, would in fact make them excellent case studies on the general cultural attitudes of the society that consumes them. and that society, as karkat observes, makes indications that a) emotions of hate and love stem from the same source and b) trolls ought to have a balance of negative and positive emotions, where apathy is considered more undesirable.

so what I mean to say from all these observations, my formal opinion: to trolls there can exist this nebulous feeling of being emotionally attachment to someone, to desire any kind of relationship with them. and with that the average troll has a far better understanding that the most devastating response possible is actually none at all; to be completely unaffected by them.

so what am I saying with all this? it is my idea that in troll culture, trolls have a concept of relationships and emotions that can exist as a nebulous idea of just being *passionate*, of caring about something or someone and the distinction between negative or positive is merely a nuance rather than an opposition, and the actual socially reviled opposition to this feeling is being apathetic.

for example a troll rejecting another for a particular desired quadrant is heartbreaking (or diamondbreaking, spadesbreaking etc), but as there exists a desire for connection generally by virtue of the desire at all, it would be less devastating and possibly could become just as fulfilling for the connection to exist as a different quadrant, even on the other side of red/black. the most devastating possible outcome of a rejection would be that of total apathy, of the idea that one inspires no passions, no emotions of any kind in a person.

and with that established now we can get into my ideas about how alternian media rating systems work, such as a troll equivalent to rotten tomatoes where movies/books/films etc are rated on 5 different scales (also possibly two different modified 3 scale versions) in addition to a simplified two-scale version where the measure of "good" is based on "how much did this work inspire emotional reactions in you vs how much did you not give any shit at all"- the cane hooks me by the neck and pulls me off stage

[vikkirosko]

Saw your requests were open, so I thought I might shoot my shot.

I’ve recently gotten really into Homestuck, in massive part because of the HiveSwap FriendSim and PesterQuest games (god I love them), which lead me down the slippery slope; and I’m in LOVE with the Jade Bloods.

So, kindly, may I request for some HC’s with a human reader who convinces their chosen Jade Blood to try this human invention called, “Cuddling”.

Asking for Bronya, Lynera, Daraya and Lanque.

Headcanons Cuddling

💚 Bronya Ursama x human!Reader 🍼

Your appearance in Bronya's life was unexpected for her. You were an outsider, an alien who ended up in her house. But you weren't going to hurt anyone. You were a friendly and open person who was eager to learn more about a planet you didn't know and about those you met. Especially about Bronya, which you were particularly interested in

Over time, you began to spend a lot of time with her. You hid when it was necessary, because you were much weaker than most trolls and you could easily have been killed. You were happy to help her with grubs and just chat with her. Bronya liked how open you were in communication and you didn't hide any secret motives. You just liked her

On one of the quiet days, I told her that you wanted to teach her one thing that is being done on your home planet. You assured her that it wasn't dangerous. Only after that Bronya calmed down and allowed you to do what you wanted. She was surprised when you hugged her. You claimed that this was how humans expressed their support, their feelings and closeness

The hug was a bit unexpected for her, but Bronya wouldn't say it was anything unpleasant. She liked feeling the warmth of your hands. She felt like she could relax for a little while, knowing that she was safe

💚 Daraya Jonjet x human!Reader 🖤

You and Daraya met in an abandoned shopping mall. She came there periodically when she wanted to be alone, and you came there after seeing an interesting place. She watched you curiously looking at the abandoned shops. She didn't think you were dangerous, so she talked to you. You were a strange but friendly alien

You started seeing each other in an abandoned shopping mall. She told you about brooding caverns, and you told her about Earth, your home planet. Your planet was very different from Alternia, but Daraya loved listening to your stories. You knew that you were unlikely to return home, so you were glad that you weren't alone. Daraya told you about how cruel Alternia was. Listening to her, you realized more and more that she needed support, because there was little you could do to help her change the planet

When you saw that she was sad, you suggested that she try one of the ways that humans use to feel better. Daraya looked at you thoughtfully, but agreed. You hugged her, causing surprise on Daraya's face. It was the first time she had felt something so warm and soothing

She wasn't sure exactly what you were doing, but she liked the warmth she felt. It was not only physical warmth, but also mental. Your hugs couldn't get her out of all her problems, but you could at least help her feel better a little bit

💚 Lanque Bombyx x human!Reader 🌷

When Lanque first saw you, he immediately noticed that you were different from the trolls. You were an alien, and because of that, you aroused his interest. He wasn't shy about flirting with you, but you talked to him like you were just friends. Lanque was wondering how long you would be able to maintain this attitude, so he continued to communicate with you

You told him about your home planet with a smile, and he listened while continuing to flirt with you. He liked your sincerity. It was like a challenge to him. Bronya asked him several times not to cross the line with you, but he wasn't going to listen to her

One day when you were spending time together, you told him that you wanted to show him something that humans often do. Your words interested him, so he agreed to find out what you wanted to show him. You asked him to close his eyes, which interested him even more. When he felt your warmth, he opened his eyes. You hugged him, with a sincere smile on your lips

You called it a hug. He felt the warmth of your human's body. Usually, such intimacy entailed something more, but you just hugged him. You claimed that it showed care and affection. Lanque wasn't sure why you were doing this, but he even liked being in your arms. It seemed to make you closer

💚 Lynera Skalbi x human!Reader 🔪

When Lynera first saw you, she tensed up. You often talked to Bronya and it really bothered her, but when you met Lynera, all your attention turned to her. This caused her surprise and misunderstanding. For some reason, you liked spending time with her more than with the wonderful Bronya. However, at some point, she realized that she didn't mind it either

You were friendly and open. You were ready to listen to her when she needed it and showed a keen interest in her and her life. Lynera was pleased to know that she had someone she could trust. You were there for her when she was happy and when she was sad. She could trust you with her emotions and feelings

When you came to her, you saw that she was crying. It wasn't the first time, but this time she cried harder than usual. You didn't know exactly what happened, but you knew you couldn't stay away. You hugged her, wanting to give her some support. Lynera froze, not knowing what to expect, but your hugs distracted her from sadness and tears

You told her that these were hugs and humans used them when they wanted to show affection or provide support. You didn't know what her problems were, but you sincerely wanted to support her. It was really important to her. She calmed down a little and you could discuss what happened, but you were in no hurry to let her go, realizing that she might still need your support

[dingodad]

why can their only be one mother grub

okay there actually isn't that much to this one it's just that the comic pretty explicitly only ever refers to her as "THE mother grub" and the reasons i tend to hear for why there should or could be more than one are always based on shaky logic.

first and foremost that it "doesn't make sense" or "isn't practical" for all trolls to be born from a single cave when i think it's pretty clear that the strangeness and impracticality of one mother grub is basically the point. what we know about troll reproduction is that it is by its very nature incestuous, and that despite being in control of an empire spanning across a galaxy, once their home planet was gone the whole race was fucked. reproductive strategy - as demonstrated by Sburb, the reproductive strategy of universes themselves - is a key theme in Homestuck, and in that respect the reproductive strategy of the troll race a) starkly contrasts the reproductive strategy of humans on earth and b) fits in perfectly with Lord English's strategy for rising to power. almost all humans are capable of creating their own young (with some help) and therefore live independently from the colony, and in the same way, a widespread beta release of Sburb allowed humans lots of chances to recreate their race anew after the Earth's destruction. but English is the god of the inevitable, and of putting - in this case very literally! - all of his eggs in one basket. trolls all come from the one place, bred for one purpose, so they can play one single session of Sgrub and ensure Lord English's one, singular favoured outcome.

to that effect, by having a single brooding mother the trolls' life cycle reflects their social structure. the Alternian empire is an insect colony who, despite having spread across an entire galaxy, have only one queen; and while it is true that in the troll culture the roles of brooding mother and ruling queen are split across two individuals, that there is only one of the latter clearly demonstrates the methods of consolidation and control at play. while it would be more practical for the condesce not to slaughter the members of her bloodline who could be put to better use helping her control such a vast empire, one empress means only one voice to listen to. and when you're trying to keep a clean gene pool like the trolls are, having only one source of offspring to keep an eye on is just commonsense. this is another thing clearly indicated at in Act 6; when the condesce took control of earth she decided that it would suit her purposes better for humans to all donate their genetic material to a central cloning lab rather than be allowed to reproduce freely.

another suggestion i used to see a lot but i guess not so much anymore is that the trolls could, or perhaps would even need to, establish reproduction on the planets they've colonised, which I think stems from a misunderstanding of the whole reason adult trolls are sent into space. it seems to me like some labour under the presumption that, prior to the summoner's revolt, there were no trolls in space, and that the reason the adults were all sent away was to conquer a new frontier. but this isn't the case: we know that when the Signless was alive - which was many centuries before the Summoner could even have been born - he was part of a war "across the planet and throughout the galaxy." so when the condesce "fully decentralized the race from the homeworld [by scattering] all but the children throughout the galaxy", the purpose can only have been to separate adults from children, specifically. if there are more troll children being born on other planets in the empire then not only are the adults and the children no longer separated, but Alternia stops being a planet of any significance at all. it's just one planet where some trolls are born. we should also keep in mind that, as above, the relationship between parent and child holds thematic significance in Homestuck. the separation of progenitor from progeny should always be thought of as a more important motivator than simply expanding Alternia's empire - which, it should be noted, isn't even a goal that furthers English's plans for the trolls! turning the young into emotionless killing machines, on the other hand, does further those plans.

and in the same vein as the clown thing, am i really just the only one who finds the idea of Alternia's subterranean regions being wholly dominated by this one huge overgrown bug - of a scale no living troll could ever comprehend in its entirety, pumping out offspring on a galactic magnitude - really cool. like why do you think trolls talk about this thing like it's a god. why do you think there needs to be a highly specialised and deeply secretive coven of vampire nuns looking after it 24/7

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for July 23, 2024

Alright! We've got a new Upd8, and apparently it's a doozy! As usual, we'll start with the news post first!

Oh! There's a vod of the SAHcon panel. Might have to look that up.

James mentions a "big flash," and wants to give the team a break before either they start work on it or they drop it (wasn't sure here). I'm all for this. I don't want this team to burn out. Apparently there's progress on the plush, but James isn't telling us yet because it might not make it into the final version. Other than that, it's just this upd8. They're planning on more like it, so this won't be the only one of this style.

And what is this style?

It's a freakin' visual novel is what!

Looking at the options we have some basic VN selections, including options for skipping text. We have a History panel, which hopefully will allow us to go back to prior choices. We can also save and load. We don't have an option for full screen, so that's a little frustrating. But otherwise, away we go!

Yay! New talk sprites!

Absolutely love this one!

Oh man! Tavros got sucked into this too? Or is this some sort of construct or projection?

Oh wow. Vriska's trying to reconcile and every time she gets a prompt, she comes up with something else awful she did to him. I'd say we could be here a while, but I'm pretty sure she's going to lose patience soon.

"Hours later, but not many." Or we do that XD

Vriska doesn't get that the patterns that lead her here are the problem. She doesn't understand that being "an expert on this revenge thing," is part of the problem. The problem was that she was always trying to force Tavros to conform to some image of strength she had for him in her head, and used only the methods that she thought made her strong. That is, when she wasn't just losing her patience and doing something out of spite and anger.

Just as she thought she made things square with him before, she's not listening to him now. She's still never gotten that her failure to help Tavros wasn't Tavros's fault. It's always been her fault for not trying to understand who Tavros was and what he needed. By trying to help Tavros get revenge on her, she's just repeating the pattern again.

"Before I screw your life up," wow, I think she might have just had a genuine realization there! That's what she needs, though she still needs to understand why. She needs to understand why she did it, and why it caused Tavros so much suffering.

"Kill me." Oh wow. We've literally been exactly here before. How can she not realize that it didn't work then, and it's not going to work now!

"TAVROS: nO, i LOVE TO RUN AND, i DO NOT PLAN ON STOPPING, aNY TIME SOON,"

Ouch.

"Thief: Do the right thing."

Oh this is so not going to be the right thing.

Wow. She looks way too happy to have gotten Tavros to kill her. She is so not going to be happy when this almost certainly doesn't turn out to have worked.

Yep! That sure looks like we're back where we started! Respawn time!

Yay! Davepetasprite^2 talk sprites!

'Nother Vriska talk sprite. Is this a look from her past we haven't seen yet?

Hah! Groundhogs Day reference.

Sorry Davepeta, you can't help but make that innuendo sexual. It is your nature. Well half your nature.

Oh wow! When they said, Year 2, they weren't depicting a second point in the time frame. Vriska has been at this for over a year! "welcome to hell"

Whatever problems Dave and Nepeta respectively had, they just can't relate to the twisted mindset Vriska adopted to survive on Alternia.

"purrppets and then theres pawppet33rs" That one took me a while.

I think Davepeta just admitted that both Dave and Nepeta prefer to follow and let someone else be in control of things. No wonder Dave put up with so much of Jade's constant desires to form a stable polycule. I think I'll have some more to say about this later. Might even put it in a separate post.

Oh! Well that's that I guess! Might as well talk about this "panel" then.

So let's start with this. I do not believe in "leaders" and "followers". I think that's such a false dichotomy, that it barely deserves commentary. I think at best you can say that a person would be more likely to take charge, follow along, do there own thing, or disengage under sociologically normal circumstances. Already, that's four potential responses verse two, and these only apply under each person's "normal."

But even if we break it down to just "leaders" and "followers", Homestuck has already broken that dichotomy plenty of times. Take our beloved nub horned ball of of anger. Karkat presents at the beginning of Act 5 as a "leader." He was even somewhat good at it by Vriska's own admission. But Karkat was never happy as a "leader." He was doing it because he felt he had to. Being an exceptional bloodthirsty Troll warrior wasn't going to be good enough for him to avoid getting culled. He needed power, fear, and respect. He needed to be a "leader."

But once everything was over and he was given the chance to relax, he abandoned the role and was all the more happier for it. Pre Game Over, he wasn't particularly happy but he seemed less miserable than he did in game. And most of his anxiety revolved around not knowing where he stood with Dave and Terezi. Post Game Over he seems to have practically thrived. Letting Vriska, Rose, and Terezi handle all the planning and organization allowed him to finally enjoy life for once.

But now on Candy Earth C, he's a "leader" again. While he seems to be delegating a lot to Meenah, he's still the one everyone looks to. And while I can't say our beloved Knight of Blood is thriving, he's definitely much more comfortable as a "leader" now.

So all of that being true, has HSBC made any case for any character being a "leader" or "follower"?

But let's assume the premise and say Davepeta is correct. I think Nepeta can be said to be a "follower" in such a dichotomy. Even when it upset her, she still went along with Equius's wishes. But I would still stress she didn't exactly get a lot of screen time. We never got to know how Nepeta might have developed as a character over a full Homestuck run.

But what about Dave? Does Homestuck depict Dave as a "follower"? We definitely have plenty of examples of Dave going along with the plans and wishes of others. But I feel like we have far more examples of him taking initiative, doing his own thing, or even refusing to go along with a plan. Dave didn't want to play SBURB. Dave ignored Jade's advice to let the Crow hatch the egg. While he followed Terezi's plan, he eventually needed a break and basically broke with her after they finished the time loop. When Jade needed help, he acted on his own to get her situated in the game. He didn't like Rose's plan and refused to let her be the one to sacrifice herself when it seemed like that was the only option. He refuses to go along with Karkat's plans to try and setup quadrants with Terezi. In Game Over, he jumps into the fray to try and placate and then fend off Jack and PM. In Collide he takes the lead roll in the Strife at several points, including being the one to land the killing blow. Even Davepeta, as Vriska points out, was the one that secured victory against Lord English.

I think at most, what can be said is that normally Dave prefers to go with the flow. As he puts it, "maybe id rather just be like the dave of guy." This is one of those places where again, I have to ask if Homestuck has ever depicted a "leader/follower" dichotomy. Dave really seems happiest when he's just being Dave doing Dave things. Given a fully informed choice, Dave might have done everything he could have to avoid the SBURB session taking place. He stayed on the sidelines as things went to shit on Earth C, even as Karkat was looking to him for help. I just don't see Dave as a "follower."

That doesn't mean he has any angle to relate to Vriska. But for being an enlightened Sprite^2, I don't think Davepeta's take is a good one.

[slydroxide]

um… rant i posted on discord but now im posting here becwuse im very proud of it

so basically in homestuck both dave and karkat are knights which means they have similar ideals and morals especially when eorking with a team which knights are a helper class they make sure everyone else is okay before they help and thats corresponded by dave dying for jade and also putting his friends before himself just like karkat who keeps all his friends together and makes sure nobody is out of line which is also a blood thing but he wants the best for his friends like dave does

and they were both raised with fear mongering because dave was raised by bro to be the “perfect man” and “cool guy” with fear of getting hurt and mind games and constant fighting and manipulation and karkat was manipulated by the whole alternian society because he was a mutant which means hes an outcast and is pretty much damned to death no matter what kinda person he is because alternia is fucked up

so they both have that to relate to eachother by and also on the meteor they both get to know eachother more and learn that they arent that different especially with their ideals sure they seem different at first but really theyre both very alike and karkat has this way of seeing thru daves stoic mask bullshit and always knows the truth hes very brutally honest which is what dave needs because he had been raised on lies and so had karkat but karkat had taught himself that it was all bullshit and he is who he is and dave nrrds to learn how to accept hinself too

and yes i know plot wise davekat was added in just to appease the fans because other karkat/dave ships have more plot relevance and shit but I DO NOT CARE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH nobody can take them away from me…

idk if you can tell but i like davekat… also this is like my perspective on things and its all my opinion its chill af if you don’t agree but i love talking about my favorite things so much

okay thanks for listening bye

[iwasntcreativeenoughforaname]

I think that HIC’s tendency to keep around “lower life forms” that she deems useful/grows attached to is just a twisted version of Meenah’s desire to keep being with her friends in the dream bubbles because despite being mean, she genuinely cares about them

I never see enough of that. Of people remembering that the ancestors and the dancestors are the same people in more than genetics. Sure they have different ways they act and think as a result of Alternia and scratch’s influence, but the way they think and act really boils down to the dancestor’s original personality and just. Who they are in general

Meenah expresses desire to be a sister/mentor figure to Feferi because she wants to “show her how to be awesome” which to me seems like a clear wish for companionship from someone whom Meenah thinks will understand her. And she openly acknowledges that she finds the biological urge to kill her annoying.

And then we see this same dynamic but in a messed up way, where Condy is dead set on Jane being her heiress. There’s assassination attempts, as is expected of the heiress and empress, but when she finally has Jane in her proximity she forces her to her side and promises her a planet. And when she dies, Condy gets super pissed and kills Aranea in a fit of rage. Considering Jade was also alive, this could have been rage at hard work being wasted. Or maybe the loss of an heiress who she wouldn’t feel the need to kill, which I think the idea of interested HIC the same way it interested Meenah

We don’t properly see the ancestors aside from condy, so anything else would really be speculative or headcanons, but there’s definitely a basis for what I’m saying here. The dancestors and the ancestors are the same people the way the alpha guardians and the beta kids are. There’s different bits due to their environments, and they may be twisted and their logic may be warped. But at the end of the day it’s still them

Dualscar definitely had an interest in music

And mindfang definitely spent hours telling stories to any person in her crew who would listen

[davekat-sucks]

Since we’re talking Kanaya, the fandom forgets how much she was Jade’s counterpart to the Sgrub session. Her house literally was built to look like a moon tower of prospit/derse, like Jade. She takes gardening, like Jade, and she lives right next to a frog temple, like Jade! She does diverge from Jade taking an interest in hunting the undead and rainbowdrinker romance novels, which the fandom seems to forget because much of Kanaya’s story gets tied to romance! She was the last landdwelling troll introduced in Act 5 Act 1 and she starts of as the “meddling fussyfangs” as described by Vriska!

Her character introduction is losing her flushed interest with Vriska but still pining for her so she vacillates Eridan and Vriska’s kismesitude after Vriska mind-controlled Tavros to kiss her and Eridan broke his moirailigence with Feferi. Her only interaction in Act 4 is talking with Rose (and mistakenly one time with John who was on Rose’s computer) and that settled the dust, Kanaya bounces from one romance to another until she landed on Rose, and she had enough superficial traits and prose to her serious-straightforward-clear-intentions attitude that was flanderized in the progressing acts.

Fans still forget Kanaya’s “impromptutations” quip she gave to Karkat, in fact people forget how much Karkat worked out her love issues at the end of Act 5 Act 1 and some of Act 5 Act 2.

I don’t ship Karkat/Kanaya as flushed, but there is appeal to the dynamic since Karkat is the one person who, despite being all shouty, doesn’t ask of anything from Kanaya, and listens to her issues. It also correlates that Karkat’s refusal to engage with Rose’s troubling behavior and alcoholism that damages her flushed pairing with Kanaya and Terezi’s pitch romp with Gamzee after (possibly) dating Dave for a short period of time. It goes to show even after Karkat’s shipping concerns and fear of inter-species connections was overblown, he is a crux to hold the meteor together.

Back to Karkat’s shipping, we know he drew Jade with Dave and Rose with John, but didn’t account Rose being into women. As it turned out Rise may have had a subconscious Freudian bullshit crush on Jade, since Rose hooks up with Sgrub’s version of Jade Harley, and when Jade needs to surrogate a child. In secret. With a married woman… Rose doesn’t seem to refuse. Maybe, just maybe it’s because Rose does still want that smart, cheery, independent girl she knew all those years.

To summarize, if Kanaya is to be a good character with depth and realism, keep her close to Karkat. If you want Rose to stay monogamous (in the specific way she isn’t seeing a secret lover) keep her FAR AWAY FROM JADE HARLEY and if you want Rosemary to work as a ship, KEEP KARKAT AS CLOSE TO KANAYA AT ALL TIMES.

Don't forget that John had to remind Karkat about them being made in ectobiology and that incest was a taboo in human standards, much to Karkat's annoyance since incest is fine on Alternia. He had considered shipping DaveRose and JohnJade. Karkat and Kanaya are also close also parallels to The Dolorosa and The Signless relationship. The Dolorosa raised The Signless/Sufferer, but sadly had to watch him be executed and be sold off as a slave. Only to die later by Dualscar's jealousy. Karkat being able to save Kanaya from grief and pain would give a good closure for their ancestry.

[kitkat-the-muffin]

For a while I rationalized the existence of the Homestuck Epilogues just cause I like Davekat and I just wanted to accept them being canon even if it also meant accepting tons and tons of character assassination and a terrible storyline

But honestly it’s time I take off the shipping goggles and acknowledge that all of the Epilogues is a mess, including my favorite ship content. They, like everyone else, are out of character and are making decisions that they’d never do

Roxy, who once threw a whole funeral for a cat, would never show disrespect at the death of one of her best friends

Jade would never prioritize invading other peoples relationships when she could be enjoying the company of her family and friends

John would never sit back and accept his fate, whether it be straight up dying or living a life of mundanity, if it meant he’d be miserable with it

Jake would never let people use him for their own gain (again), Dirk would never manipulate people (not after his character arc geez guys), Rose would never give up the chance to fix a problem herself, Kanaya would never leave her wife to suffer alone, Jane would never become the next Condesce, etc, etc.

And despite my rationalization of the Davekat scene through my shipping goggles, I have to admit that Dave would never jump headfirst into both a crush and relationship, especially when you account for his trauma. At the very least, he wouldn’t confess to having a crush without blabbering on about his anxieties first, likely coming out in the middle of a rant on accident (don’t deny it, you know he would) in the same way he accidentally calls Jane “John’s hot grandma.” He’d probably say something like “I’m going through a bisexual crisis, a bi-sis if you will- oh yeah I’m bi by the way, hahah bi-by like bye-bye which is what I should be doing before I embarrass myself further ok bye”

I can see him saying all that ^ more than I can see him downing a ton of alcohol and kissing his crush as if he was in some sort of romcom. Homestuck’s always been really good at deviating from tropes and making the characters feel more like real people, and real people don’t succumb to romcom scenarios. Karkat would smack the romcom out of Dave long before ever succumbing to his own romantic fantasies (It’s like, say you always wanted to be a fairy princess but once you actually turn into one you’re like “uhhh what this is so unrealistic and kind of uncomfortable...” Idk bad example). The point is that no one actually wants to be in a romcom, they just want some of those romantic events like singing songs and having deep emotional conversations, but not suddenly kissing each other after screaming at the fourth wall that’s for sure

Karkat is knowledgable enough in romcoms to know when he’s in one, and you know as hell he won’t give into a cheap narrative like that. Karkat’s never been one to let fate strangle him into submission, he wouldn’t have survived to 6 sweeps on Alternia if he had. Also, he has no interest in politics, not after the whole Gamzee thing anyway, and while I do think Karkat cares a lot for Dave and would want to make him happy, he surely wouldn’t do so by running for President. Karkat’s the kind of person who shows affection with little actions, like drawing with chalk or listening to music. You know, quality time

And I think it’s time that I woke up from my own romcom fantasy and realized that while I want these characters to have a happy ending, this just isn’t them in the first place

I’d like to hear some thoughts from non-davekat shippers on the subject. Nothing anti-davekat I mean, more like some opinions from people who are davekat-indifferent. How did this character development affect readers without red-tinted shipping goggles?

[swarmishstrangers]

Your blog, fics and headcanons always cheer me up! Your art is so neat too. Ive been lurking around here for a bit when I feel like I need my crops watered. Question, can I get headcannon of mallek x reader where the reader is an artist? somehow was able to accept commissions while on Alternia? I feel like the vibe of them just silently drawing and him coding in the background is super cute. What do you think?

AUGRHGAA TYYY!!!! I'm glad you like the art, writing, and headcanons! I've also definitely had the thoughts of Mallek being with an s/o who works a lot on computers for digital art stuff, mainly cause it sounds peaceful af.

Okay, so! Artist is a pretty loose term that could apply to a lot of things, but you specify them drawing here, so I'll go over Mallek x reader, both of them being either a traditional artist or a digital artist.

Traditional Artist:

🎨Starting with the traditional artist! Dunno if any of you consider yourselves to be fairly clean but either way if you were to stay over at his hive a lot and for convenience's sake, leave some of your art stuff at his place..it only adds to the chaos that his hive, "damn girl you live like this?" Idk! I just imagine all sorts of physical stuff traditional artist's use. Different types of paint and paintbrushes, charcoal, watercolors, colored pencils, paper, canvases, etc. Your art stuff adds a whole other thing to look at in his hive and honestly? He's here for it. He thinks art is cool. I mean..he can do tattoos, so of course he'd have some appreciation for a s/o who does artsy stuff. He also like those moments where he finds you just covered in your art supplies. Charcoal all over your arms and even smudged on your face for when you couldn't fight a itch and scratched at it, your hands and fingers smudged with paint or oil pastels...he just finds it incredibly charming.

🎨Oh also on the subject of paint uhh. May or may not be something you're comfortable with using considering that paint on Alternia is made from the blood of trolls. Depends whether or not you can get over that and just pretend it isn't to cope lmao. If you can just. Don't ask Amisia and Chahut about how getting the supplies for your paint went!

🎨Mallek would find it incredibly relaxing to listen to while he's fucking around with his husktops and many monitors. Normally he's one to either sit in quiet with nothing to play or maybe he'll have his playlist quietly playing whatever music or other things to listen to while he works on projects or contact people. Not to say it isn't still quiet while you both do your own things, but that's just the thing. It's quiet, not silent. Mallek finds he works the best when he knows that there's life going on around him. The sounds of his hands rapidly typing on his keyboard, the whirring of his husktop, sometimes you can hear him speak to someone that he's calling. You just further add on with your sounds of living, the sound of pencil sketching onto paper or canvas, the louder or softer sounds of you using oil pastels or charcoal, papers being moved, the adjusting of a canvas. It's all very comfortable to you both.

🎨You're each other's background sounds.

Digital Artist:

🖋️Being a digital artist is also so cool to Mallek, why wouldn't it be? It's tech shit! He can also help you try and traverse the different Alternian art programs. It's pretty new to him too since all he usually uses is the Alternian equivalent to Microsoft paint..and it's not super serious, just doodles, sketches, and shitposts stuff to destress. You got yourself a husktop, Amisia was jumping at the chance to help you look for digital art supplies (such as a tablet and stuff), and Mallek helped you get a hold of art programs for you to try out and decide what you like to use as your primary programs.

🖋️They're pretty much the same as Earth art programs in terms of it's functions. Though of course their interfaces can be different from program to program. Not everything works as it does on Earth? Certain shortcuts or tool locations are moved around or changed but it's pretty easy to figure out if you're experienced in digital art. And if you're stuck or can't figure something out your cool tech savvy matesprit can help you out. Mallek has his moments where he takes a break from what he's working on briefly to watch you draw...he always has to stifle a laugh when he sees you're absolutely struggling over there to do line art, having to undo do your stroke like 50 times before you get it. Like the previous one? He thinks it's cute and charming.

🖋️While you don't add a lot of new things to look at it in his hive, as you're working with more tech, it's still just as nice to listen to in the background he thinks. He can hear your fingers type out messages to friends or clients you're working with, the sound of your pen stroking against the tablet face, your mouse clicking here and then. There may not be as many sounds, but he finds it just as comforting, he likes to listen to the life around him after all.

Commissions:

As for the commission portion, thought it would be fun to get into this separately after talking about the respective art types! Being commissioned as an alien on the planet is certainly. Interesting. Which can be taken positively or otherwise.

Being an alien is your selling point to a lot of trolls online. It's where you got a huge chunk of your followers! Sure, they're very split on genuinely believing you are a real alien and those who think this is some kind of roleplay account or something but follow out of interest. Your commissions gather more interest from those who want a drawing from an alien! Real or not. Lots of odd are fun interactions.

For a traditional artist you could go the route of just, scanning your picture and posting it onto your socials and tag the trolls (or post it to the troll client privately). If you offer a shipement of the physical original drawing Mallek can help you out with getting a drone to drop it off for you so you don't have to go on a wild goose chase to find the troll client in this great wide troll world.

[lockea]

10 Fanfiction Recs

In honor of IFD 2024 and @ao3org organizing the feedback fest, here are 10 fanfiction from my bookmarks (all complete, lots of oldies) spread across as many fandoms as I read.

Scylla and Charybdis by Mithrigil, puella_nerdii Fandom: The Hunger Games "Finnick decides that, come hell or high water, he is bringing his tribute home from the seventieth Hunger Games. That tribute is Annie Cresta. But Finnick never thought that he would have to choose between bringing her home and keeping her safe, and he wants both. How Annie Cresta crept up on Finnick Odair."

I heard Hunger Games was back in fashion, so have this fic from 2011 that's just so good.

Primary Colors by RobotSquid Fandom: Homestuck (no, I am not apologizing!) "As a young troll living in the desert with the Dolorosa, the Signless comes across an unconscious psionic wriggler. Over the next few nights, they come to understand and care for each other. Although seemingly destined to be apart, they make a promise to be together again. But the destructive ways of the highbloods are becoming more widespread, and as the Signless begins to dream, he dedicates himself to regaining the peaceful world Alternia once was. But troll society as it stands now holds no sympathy for a candy red mutant, a psionic slave, or the matespritship they have."

A canon-compliant (I think, I stopped reading Homestuck around this time) story about the Signless that's full of great world building and honestly I don't remember much but I have it on my bookmarks list for a reason, I'm sure.

A Long Road to Destiny by Miko Fandom: Final Fantasy VII (set in Final Fantasy X verse) "The summoner's journey is a long, hard path to walk. Having guardians you trust makes all the difference in the world."

The story follows Cloud, who is half Al-Behd, as he makes his pilgrimage to be a summoner. Early on, he's joined by Sephiroth, a former Summoner, and Zack, who wants to be Sepiroth's guardian, and the three begin quite the epic adventure to save Spira.

Immovable, unbreakable by Cards_Slash Fandom: Assassin's Creed "Altair has known since he was thirteen years old, the year he realized he was an omega, that his body was never going to be his own. He thought he had overcome his own fate when Al Mualim agreed to allow him to stay on as an Assassin but even becoming the youngest Master Assassin ever did not save him. Following the semi-failed mission at Solomon's Temple, Altair is gifted to Malik as a reward for his service. Malik doesn't want Altair but he does not turn down the chance to show him his place."

A retelling of the first game if Altair was an omega, lost his assassin status, was summarily married off to Malik, and had to work around all that to still solve the mystery and save the day. Altair is truly the biggest badass in this story, and the historical perspective on an Omegaverse is truly neat.

Teach Me How to Fight (I'll Show You How to Win) by Skalidra Fandom: Batman (DCU) "Dick is taken by the Court after his parents' death to be trained as a Talon. He becomes loyal, deadly, and the Court's primary Talon. At least until he meets a boy from the Court's secondary, darker kind of servant who gets assigned to be his partner, and makes him start to care about things other than serving the Court. Tim, a boy-genius member of the Court, could have told anyone who listened that pairing Talon with the other boy - Jason - was a poor decision, and the fact that the Grandmaster of the Court doesn't listen, at all, is something he's finding less and less tolerable."

I love this fic so much that it was my first attempt at fanfiction binding.

Oh, You Wondrous Creature by Ginia Fandom: Final Fantasy XV "Ignis Scientia had learned at a young age to perform his duties quietly and flawlessly. He learned not to draw undue attention to himself, as attention had often lead to pain and humiliation at the hands of those who considered themselves to be his betters.

He has no idea what to do when the attentions of one Gladiolus Amicitia are directed at him. He expects harshness and cruelty, but is met with something quite the opposite."

This is classic frenemies to lovers scenario. Ignis and Gladio start off disliking each other, but as Gladio uncovers more about the discrimination Ignis endures, he shapes up to be a friend, ally, and eventual lover for the steward.

Someone You Have To Let In by Arsenic Fandom: Batman (DCU) "Basically a horribly sideways BDSM-AU where Talia actually raises Jason from the dead to use him to get Damian to safety. If you're looking for super indulgent h/c, I got your back. If you're not, this is probably not the fic for you."

This was my introduction to the BDSM-AU, also called the Dom/sub AU, where people have biological imperatives towards either dominance or submission. The world building here is especially great, as there's parts that talk about how you raise kids in this kind of dynamic. Also I love me some Dick/Jason so there.

Holding Cell by red-catmander Fandom: Guild Wars 2 "Rytlock Brimstone is trapped in a human jail with a hairless mouse, a talking plant intent on infuriating him and a headache the size of the Black Citadel. Now he's stuck fighting in the arena, buying his freedom one slog at a time, and the only thing awaiting him when he gets out is scrapper duty.

He hates these people. He's sure of it. Especially Thackeray.

He really, really wants to hate these people."

Listen, this fic is hilarious. Like funnier than anything Snargle Goldclaw could write (if you know you know). It's Rytlock/Logan in like the crackiest way possible and while I unironically love this fic to pieces, it's main use in my life is to deal 1d6 of psychic damage to members of my GW2 guild.

Maan'alor - The Prime by papermachine Fandom: Star Wars (Prequel Trilogy Era) "Jango Vhett was Mand’alor only briefly to the Mandalorian Empire before he was captured by the Jetii and Republic forces on Galidraan.

Now an unwilling guest on Kamino, he is buir to Boba and he fears his protection can only stretch so far for the rest of the children made in his image. Jango doesn’t know if he can save all of the clones from the Kaminoans or the Republic, but he does know this: Verde sa akaan nau tracyn kad. Warriors are forged in the fires of war.

These children are made for war, and they have been fighting to stay alive since their creation.

He will do what he must to save them."

The series is ongoing, and this is technically the third installment in the series, but it's a great place to start reading. The series follows various characters in this AU where the Sith Empire, the Mandalorian Empire, and the Republic are all at war with each other. Meanwhile, an unwilling Jango is template to the clones, and he is NOT happy about is. But rebellions are built in secret, and Jango never was a very good spy.

hope has bloody knuckles by independent_variables Fandom: Star Wars (Clone Wars Era) "Davijaan discovers mountains, thinks about the war, and maybe falls in love."

I think some people are turned off from this fic because it's a relationship between Davijaan (Odd Ball) and an OC, but the main focus is on Davijaan and Cody's relationship with each other as clones, as having survived the Clone Wars with no Order 66. There's also some lovely word building around Pantora which is the real appeal of the fic, imo. And of course Loren herself is easy to like, with a strong personality and well developed character. You really want to root for her and Davi as the story goes on. Like, come on you two idiots! Figure it out! I do love this fic very much.

Oh my gosh picking only 10 fics was hard. Here's my bookmarks page if you want to see what else I'm reading.

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Hiveswap

Characters: Joey Claire + Xefros Titroh

Pairing: Platonic

Description: Hear me out, Xefros and Joey with a big sibling troll darling, that is like, doing their every needs, helping them, giving them gifts, and anything! Really.

- Eridan Anon

Alright, sure! I haven't seen Act 2 so this is just me doing a general take.

"Soft Yandere!" Platonic! Joey Claire + Xefros Tritoh with Sibling Troll! Darling

Pairing: Platonic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Clingy behavior, You're just looking after them, Soft yanderes, Dubious companionship.

There's no doubt on a planet like Alternia the two are going to need help from others.

Especially since Joey is vulnerable as an alien.

Sibling relationships are not a common thing in troll culture.

You yourself have no real clue about it.

Let's say you're an older troll who is also secretly working with Dammek for a rebellion.

As a result you are considered an ally, Xefros most likely even knows you and sees you as safe.

You could be a Lowblood, Midcaste, or Highblood it doesn't entirely matter.

Either way you obviously hide your favoritism towards rebellion against the current Fuchsia Blood and Alternian society.

It surprises you when Xefros meets up with you and brings an alien.

An alien is already bad news and could bring a lot of attention so you certainly try your hardest to conceal Joey for Xefros.

After listening to the situation you agree to hide/aid the two.

You even make an effort to know more about Joey as you already know Dammek's Moirail, Xefros.

You learn that she's a human and goes by Joey Claire.

She seems nervous around you at first but you try your best to treat her kindly.

As an older troll you do end up taking on a "sibling" role.

You learn of such a concept through Joey who ended up calling you such a thing by accident.

She says she has a younger brother at home... not that you know what that means.

The two certainly become attached to you, after all you're putting your own life on the line to keep them safe.

You do your best to get them whatever they need.

You learn of human customs from Joey and try to build Xefros' confidence due to his lost Moirail.

Joey definitely tries to educate both you and Xefros on the concept of siblings.

You don't hate the concept, honestly.

You allow the two to use your Hive as a hideout and give tips on how not to get caught.

You even give them items and gifts to defend themselves and stay hidden.

You are very concerned about Joey and Xefros.

Not only is Xefros a Rust Blood but Joey is an alien.

The two could easily be culled if you don't help.

This isn't a very intense yandere concept, I'm going to be honest.

The two are mostly just clingy and overprotective of their new troll guide.

If other trolls gave you trouble both Joey and Xefros want to stand up to them for you.

You are quick to convince them otherwise for the sake of cover.

Taking care of them in general is considered odd to other trolls so you even try to hide that.

Xefros begins to see you as something he can't quite describe, he has a Moirail but he guesses he can see you as a friend or guardian?

Joey just simply sees you as a sibling, even if you don't know the concept.

You are a form of comfort to them.

You've done so much for them.

Joey even has a more convincing troll costume due to you.

You give the both of them weapons to use, even if Joey hesitates at first.

You have to remind them that this is Alternia, you have to do whatever you can to survive.

At your Hive you make them comfortable.

You find it odd how they both sleep without a recuperacoon but let it slide. (Joey you get... but Xefros? Was that Dammek's idea?)

If anything you are the most protective of them.

Their yandere behavior just makes them clingy, while Xefros is also eager to please, but you are the main protector.

The dynamic you have is more like you looking after two younger kids, like a parent/Lusus.

You want to keep them alive in happy.

In return the two want to do the same.

Soon they'll find a way to repay the favor.

After all, you're in danger too, aren't you?

So why don't you all stick together?

They don't want to leave you alone... plus isn't there safety in numbers?

[humanology-101]

Greetings, Grumblr. My name in Galekh Xigisi. While I have by and large steered clear of social media platforms until now, I have decided to broaden my horizons by sharing my interests with you all here. As an associate of our infamous alien visitor¹, I have a direct source of the alien species known as "Humans" and I would like to use this blog to document my findings.

1 Alien Invasion Of One I believe they're known as on here.¹

1 I've heard some refer to them as the Reader, though I'm not entirely sure why.

My primary goal with this blog is to establish a firm understanding of human culture, society, and life style through a thorough examination of their media. This includes, but is not limited to literature, graphic novels, video games¹, movies, shows, and podcasts.²

1 I may need to invite someone else to play these for me. I do not play video games often.

2 My resources are limited on by the "Reader's" own cultural knowledge.

In lowblood terms, I believe this is often referred to as "liveblogging".

But first, I must establish the context for common reference.

What is a Human?

A "Human" is a hitherto undiscovered and unconquered alien species native a singular planet known as "Earth" somewhere far away from Alternia. Direct sources have indicated this planet is located with the "Milky Way Galaxy"¹, a yet undiscovered system.

1 I do not know why it is "Milky".¹

1 I do not wish to find out.

Direct sources indicate that humans are an ape descendent species with a generally Alternian body shape. Unlike Trolls, however, they have a distinct variety of skin colors and hair colors and they lack horns in any natural capacity.¹

1 When I informed the Reader they do not generally match this description, they clarified they are "friend shaped"¹.

1 This clarifies nothing.

Little about their culture, social structure, and potential military threat is known at this time. Within the coming posts I hope to illuminate more about this mysterious species. So join me in this intellectual persuit and chime in with your own thoughts, opinions, and conjectures.

Tags:

Liveblogs, asks, etc: self explanatory

Interaction: Reblog chains with other blogs

Galekh Plays: Games

Galekh Reads: books, comics

Galekh Listens: Podcasts, Music

Galekh Watches: Videos, Movies, TV Shows

Review: Galekh gives his final thoughts on a media.

Not Galekh: Someone else liveblogging or reviewing a media on this blog.

[vikkirosko]

Can I request Male Mindfang, Male Condesce and Male Handmaid (separately) with a female troll matesprit reader ?

When the man loves to brag a little too much or have an angry monologue, reader just shuts him up by kissing him. Reader does that without notice, even when the two are in front of everyone.

Thanks

Headcanons Shut him up

♈ Male!Handmaid ♥️ troll fem!Reader 🥢

Handmaid often visited Alternia and it was there that he met you. When you became his matesprite, you often began to communicate. He often complained to you about people who annoyed him, especially Doc Scratch. You listened to him for a long time, but when he was distracted from the original purpose of the conversation, you began to get annoyed and so that he finally stopped talking, you came up with a way for him to stop talking for at least a couple of minutes

When he once again began to tell something in a fit of emotion, forgetting about what you were talking about at the beginning, you took his face in your hands and kissed him, without even giving him a chance to say anything

Handmaid quickly realized the reason for this and began to take advantage of the fact that you kissed him when he talked too much. He started talking too much on purpose for you to kiss him. As soon as you kissed him, he would pull you towards him, continuing your kiss and taking the initiative. You didn't push him away. You knew perfectly well that he was doing it on purpose, but it didn't bother you

Handmaid understood that sooner or later he would have to leave you. He knew that Doc Scratch wouldn't let him stay with you or take you with him to keep you safe, so he intended to spend as much time with you as possible until he had to leave you forever

♏ Male!Marquise Spinneret Mindfang ♥️ troll fem!Reader 🦾

Mindfang loved to talk. He talked for a long time with both his comrades and his enemies. You were his matesprite and were constantly on his ship, which means you often heard his monologues. When you first started a relationship, you stood quietly a little to the side, not interfering with his talking, but when his long conversations began to bother you, you came up with a way to get him distracted and shut up

When his speech to the team took too long, you went up to him and, placing your palms on his cheeks, kissed him. It didn't bother you that his team members were looking at you. It bothered him even less. He pulled you closer, continuing your kiss. Mindfang wasn't bothered that you interrupted his speech. He could improvise if necessary. Your attention was much more precious to him

Even when he was talking to Dualscar, you could interfere in their conversation by distracting your matesprite again with a kiss. Mindfang was not against it, on the contrary, he used it to further anger his opponent. You didn't pay attention to the outrages that you heard out of the corner of your ear. What was more important to you was that Mindfang finally stopped talking

Mindfang was well aware that you used kisses to make him stop talking. He started doing exactly the same thing. When he started to get annoyed because you talked to someone for too long, he would come up to you, pull you to him and kiss you. You didn't care what others would think of you. You had red feelings for each other and that was enough for you

♓ Male!Condesce ♥️ troll fem!Reader 🐙

You, being Condesce's matesprite, often accompanied him. You were a frequent witness to his long monologues and at first you really calmly waited for him to finish, but your patience was quickly running out and so that he finally stopped talking, you came up with a way to silence him

Every time he started walking around the room and saying his monologue, you would approach him and before he could say anything, you would kiss him. He was taller than you, so you had to stand on your toes, but you kissed him anyway, not wanting to hear about his plans for other planets every time

Even when he was giving a speech in front of an audience, if it got too annoying for you, you intervened by kissing him. It didn't bother you that you were in plain sight. No one dared to say anything in order not to provoke the emperor's anger, and he even liked what you did when he talked too much

Condesce liked it when you kissed him, so he often started talking a lot on purpose. If someone else had tried to silence him, he would have been executed immediately, after all, he was the emperor, but he was ready to forgive you a lot. You were his matesprite and only you could make him stop talking