#turntechgodhead

[kaissiah]

dave stri

[ask-turnedtechgodhead]

this thing on

fuck yes aight check this shit out-

DAVE, I'VE BEGRUDGINGLY COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT STANDING IN A CORNER ALONE SPEWING THE TYPE OF NONSENSICAL BABBLE ONE MIGHT EXPECT FROM A WRIGGLER IS WHAT PASSES FOR ENTERTAINMENT IN YOUR EMPTY THINK PAN.

I'VE EVEN BEGUN TO APPRECIATE IT, IF ONLY BECAUSE WE NEEDED *SOMETHING* TO FILL THE AGONISINGLY LONG SWEEP WE WERE STUCK ON THAT OTHERWISE SILENT AND YET SOMEHOW JUST AS MISERABLE FUCKING ROCK HURTLING THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS CERTAIN DEATH. BUT WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING SHIT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH THAT BULBOUS FUCKING OVERGROWTH JAMMED AGAINST YOUR RIDICULOUS EYEWEAR?

damn man i thought we covered this in our human tech 101 lessons. its a camera- I KNOW ITS A CAMERA. I WAS TRYING TO LOWER MYSELF TO YOUR LEVEL SO THAT MAYBE YOU WOULD DECIDE TO GRACE ME WITH YOUR ATTENTION AND ACTUALLY LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY. try harder SHUT UP. AND ANSWER THE QUESTION. how the hell am i supposed to answer the question if im shutting up? cant have it both ways bro. cant just have your cake and eat it too you either eat that bitch or shut your mouth forever and starve to death- HOLY SHIT WE BOTH KNOW YOU AREN'T GOING TO SHUT UP EITHER WAY. COULD YOU AT LEAST DO ME THE MERCY OF TELLING ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING BEFORE I DROWN IN THE PUTRID STREAM OF BULLSHIT CASCADING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?

documentary CARE TO EXPAND UPON THAT? OR AM I NOT WORTHY ENOUGH TO GET MORE THAN ONE WORD OUT OF YOU? SHOULD I BE PROSTRATING BEFORE YOU THANKING YOU FOR DEIGNING TO GRACE ME WITH ONE WORD FROM YOUR TIGHT ASS LIPS? 'DOCUMENTARY'. TRULY A HOLY WORD. RELIGIONS WILL FORM AROUND THIS ONE WORD, DAVE. HOLY BOOKS WILL BE WRITTEN ABOUT THOSE ELEVEN LETTERS. TODAY WILL BE CELEBRATED NOT AS THE DAY WE CREATED A NEW UNIVERSE, NO- TODAY WILL BE FOREVER MARKED AS THE DAY DAVE FUCKING STRIDER SAID 'DOCUMENTARY'-

AND GET THAT FUCKING THING OUT OF MY FACE YOU NOOKWHIFFER

holy shit check it out im being censored already

karkat do you support censorship

is this what this is karkat

is this where we find out that this entire session has been your master plan to create a new world for you to go stalin on its ass

because dude im so down to create some propaganda for supreme leader vantases glorious reign

just let me finish this shit first cmon man

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO AGREE TO THAT WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'THIS SHIT' IS?

i told you man

IF YOU SAY DOCUMENTARY I SWEAR-

documentary

about the creation of the new universe

no big deal or nothing just thought it could be mildly interesting to get on camera

idk ill probably tape over it later for some shitty sitcom rerun

do you think theyll have the simpsons on the new planet

god i hope they do

AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT IS.

troll the simpsons

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT 'TROLL' IN FRONT OF SOME PANDEAD EARTH THING AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AND HONESTLY, I'M DOWNRIGHT FUCKING INSULTED THAT YOU'D THINK THAT ALTERNIA HAD ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY COMPARABLE TO YOUR EYEGOUGING EXCUSES FOR 'MEDIA'. MY PLANET ACTUALLY HAD STANDARDS, UNLIKE YOUR MISERABLE PILE OF DIRT.

says the guy that was responsible for that pile of dirt

and didnt even record its creation

imagine being an absent father to a whole universe karkat. what the fuck man

thank god im here to break the cycle of abuse

OH, I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RECORD YOUR WASTE OF SPACE PLANET BEING CREATED - I WAS TOO BUSY NEARLY GETTING MURDERED BY THE MURDERBEAST *YOU*-

oh shit idiot shuts up now

thats you youre the idiot

STRIDER I SWEAR TO FUCK

dude seriously shut up

hes doing it man

hes making it hapen

=>

[davefucjingstrider]

Hello Twitter this is Dave Strider homestuck

Today i sand rap battles with John Cena

[to2llynottoby]

> Dave: Tell em how it is

[librarycards]

red axe mb for @turntechgodhead [ that i interpreted as a bloody axe :) ] 1 2 3 4 5 6

[toontitsgoopbrain]

eboy era

[homestuckagain]

I wonder who this TurntechGodhead guy is. He's got two copies of the game, but he doesn't even wanna play it >_<

that seems like such a waste to me T-T

someone else suggested he may be a collecter. I'm not sure though, because why would he need two copies for his collection. He could just play one, right?

Also, John's dad. John seems oddly afraid of him....

But also John is 13. he could just be messing around XD i hope we find out in the next update!!!

[homestuckredo]

I ask, and Hussie provides in yet more high speed posting. I can't imagine this is sustainable tho. bro is gonna burn out. Now before we get into turntechGodhead, we got John's custom built desktop background and a BUNCH of stuff on it.

beautiful.

First we have three, what look like programing files, which tracks because he is a noob programmer. .~ATH means nothing to me but I think .^CAKE is a pun. ^ is called a Caret, so its a Caret (Carrot) Cake. Thank you Mameshiba commercials.

System is self explanatory.

Typheus tho... like a misspelled typhus?? The infectious disease?? maybe a virus program?? Idk, already John doesn't seem the type...also why is it a worm???? So many questions.... Finally we have Pesterchum, which violently reminds me of MSN Chat. BUT WE HAVE NAMES!!!!

Looks like John is ectoBiologist (Ghostbuster background makes sense lol), and then we have tentacleTherapist (o.0 oh my) and gardenGnostic who are offline. Maybe filler names, maybe setting up a four-man team dynamic. Finally we have turntechGodhead and a 'Pesterlog'.

honestly the whole Little Monster movie is TRASH GOLD. but this is the scene they are mentioning. I personally don't think monster Howie Mandel has the power to reseal a bottle.... bro can't even reseal a sandwich properly... but who am I to argue with teenagers lol. It looks like the comic is gonna center a game then? a game our Turntech doesn't even want to play??? I can't tell if he's being serious or he's just has eighth-grader syndrome and wants to be cool. Hopefully we''ll find out!!

[homestunked]

meteorstuck incorrect quote

jade and john just showed the wizard of oz to karkat and he decides to have an entire fit (original video)

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] -- CG: HOLD ON CG: HOLD ON TG: your face is so red CG: HOLD ON. CG: HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? CG: AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS. THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO TG: im gonna stab him CG: YOURE GONNA TO LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT IM WRONG? CG: AM I WRONG? TG: its jades favorite movie CG: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, DOG TG: im not fighting with you CG: GROW UP TG: im not fighting with you CG: GROW UP TG: get educated bud

[necroticblue]

Dave Strider core (feel free to add your own!)

- those bugs that can fold into a ball

- scaffolding

- sweaty legs under baggy oversized jeans

- too loud music in bigass headphones

- a bit of plowed ground in an otherwise grass field

- wheat fields that the farmers forgot to harvest

- old skateboards held together with gaffer tape, and shoes with gaffer tape, gaffer tape in general

- picking bird feathers from the ground

- stealing fruit outside (apples, red currant, berries, plums...), and chesnuts

- shoplifting

- spray paint on the pavement and on hands and in general

- hate-consuming bad media (music, tv shows, netflix documentaries by your least favorite youtuber...) to laugh at it with your friends

- crashed cars without a license plate

- houses painted with bright unusual colors, esp red

- primary colors in the most generic shades (secondary colors are Gamzee, CMYK is fefnep)

- buying high waisted baggy jeans and wearing them as if they were average / low rise

- super narrow streets and forest paths

- drinking coke zero right before going to bed

- second-to-highest floors in tower blocks without elevators

- sleep problems that are all or nothing- either sleeping for fifteen hours a day or barely getting three hours of interrupted sleep

- texting under a table barely looking at your phone

- adult cartoons

- dissociative identity disorder

- body dysmorphia and orthorexia due to an internalized belief that cool kids are lanky and effortlessly thin

- not being able to cry cause you're constantly dissociated as fuck

[vexwerewolf]

Castigate the Enemies of the TurntechGodhead

[footfetishlamp-prototype7]

Where have I seen a magical booth with a phone in it 🤔🤔

[ask-turnedtechgodhead]

Hey Dave what do you plan on calling your new universe?

holy shit wait are people actually getting this? goddamn you lucky bastards i was gonna wait to release this shit all at once after i had a chance to edit shit down and actually make it vaguely presentable but fuck man guess yall are just getting pure unfiltered strider somehow id ask how the fuck that happened but since not knowing jack about shit seems to be a running theme in my life right about now i shouldnt be too surprised really anyway

so yeah about that whole uh 'new universe' thing

might have been a slight change in plans there conductors gone fuckin rogue man shit we were supposed to be heading for new york and instead weve completely derailed and crashed and burned in the middle of bumfuck nowhere europe seriously how the fuck do you even do that theres a whole ass ocean in the way

hell its worse than that actually fuck at least bumfuck nowhere europe is somewhere new we still got somewhere when we hopped our little preteen asses on that train instead of driving in a giant goddamn loop for three years and ending up right back where we started like shit whats that snake asshole rose wont shut up about the one that eats itself or some shit

you finally make it to the ass end of the snake and you naively think that youre done with that goddamn snake and all its slithery bullshit and then you come face to face with it all over again

seriously what the fuck

[brokenolivejar]

It is time

Hello davenep nation

I am here and I am gone

And I hope you enjoy the upgrade since the last time I drew them

[acrobaticpirouettes]

i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

[2ollux-and-company]

[TA]: racii2t2 gotta have liike 2hard2 of gla22 iin theiir eye2

[TA]: they’ll be liike “can you believe we let these hideous things live in our neighborhoods” and 2how you a piicture of the mo2t 2tunniing black woman you’ve ever 2een

[TG]: and when you bring it up they go NOOOO NOOO SHES UGLYYYY GRRRR YOURE A RACE TRAITOR GRR WAAAH WAAAH

[TA]: fr haha

[GA]: And Don’t Forget The Nazi Dogwhistles That They Use

[TG]: omggg no cause one time i saw a tweet (xeet?) that said “these (((people))) look like disney villains and people still think they’re the victims”

[TG]: and it was a guy with the most adorable haircut and the kindest face

[TA]: genuiinely ii thiink biigots have 2ome 2ort of eye problem liike all the people they hate are 2o iirreplaceably gorgeou2