#but like...her persona would be yknow that other self of hers in a way

[m0e-ru]

one million thousand spoilers not complete nor comprehensive 1am au diagram from yours truly !!!! i will um. try to put more context below for the love of gods im so tired now

Why Nami?: Like an official name. Mimi was always my own nickname for them!

Izy (Izanami-no-Mikoto): technically an oc. My interpretation of who and what Marie and Nami were before they split from the same whole. "Izy" is a nickname i have for her lol

Kagutsuchi (Izanami-no-Okami); Why's he labeled like this? What suicidal tendencies?: Also interpretation of mine of his origin and how I try to make it more cohesive for this AU. Nami had already separated themself from their past personality (Izy) and was now wondering who or what they were at that point. As they struggled to define their godly and mortal identities, a new entity was subsequently being split from a godly whole once again. Nami managed to truly separate a godly self and their true self from each other, and now independent, it called itself Izanami-no-Okami. With "Myriad Truths," Izanami-no-Okami was defeated. Yet, the remnant not expunged by truths and now powered by the desire of solitude came to be "Hi-no-Kagutsushi."

mim also had a Marie moment where they thought if they destroyed themself everything in Inaba would be fine again, because they think theyre the problem (and one thousand other things). Kagu was also a continuation of this desire from them and promised to end their ass (yknow. like the myth). FURTHER. extending this. mim is also pretty selfless and when theres an option to sacrifice themself as an individual for the good of many they'll run towards that direction as fast as possible. making them awfully selfish in a way because others do want their ass alive.

Izy and Sho and Minazuki?: Kind of like a baby animal imprinting on the first thing they see. They met her after waking up from their coma, and with her maternal nature, she took them under her care. When she "split," to which essentially was her death, Sho bore a grudge towards her offspring, that employee thing and the punk girl walking around, after being able to recognize her scent. While Minazuki himself understands that this shouldnt be tunnel visioned, he assists Sho in finding a way to "put her back together," which leads them to make a deal with Kagutsuchi.

Kirijo related; Kurogamis: From the light novel spinoff Persona X Detective Naoto. During the events of PXDN, Nami gives errands to Sho and Kagu to simultaneously investigate Yagokoro about the "Midnight Site" and watch over Naoto Shirogane. They report back about the lack of a deity nor an unstable collective unconscious, yet they mention a secret Kirijo model android who, along with Naoto, can summon the power of Persona within the human world itself. Nami is particularly happy to hear how Naoto has matured with their new Persona they have awakened to.

Deity Rehabilitation Initiative (DRI) (IM WORKING ON A TITLE OKAY): After Nami's personal experience of godhood and wanting to protect mortals before they give birth to an otherworldly power they may not be able to control in the coming days after its birth, they begin their own initiative to travel around the world (Japan, at least) and meet deities fallen from power to help them see the beauty of life itself, hopefully letting them continue to exist and occupy their biological collective's unconscious before these gods die and newborn heartless entities come to existence.

Mira (Mikuratana-no-Kami): The second helped by the DRI (first was kagu lol i think). Was picked up after the defeat by the Kizuna Dancers. Is now back as a guardian for the city it was born from, also working as costume designer and prodigy talent among Takura Productions, and is close with the girls of Kanamin Kitchen.

Yaldabaoth: Was recovered in the middle of the False Reality, later made to apologize to Lavenza within the Velvet Room and is now under Kurusu's care (i havent decided which name i want for pego actually). Acts as some sort of guardian as he shapeshifts into different mechanical instruments for Akira to be able to pocket.

Azathoth: Parasitic deity assumed to be born mostly out of Takuto Maruki's individual will. The most problematic out of the bunch. Many have formed grudges around it (and Maruki) from its actions taken during the False Reality epidemic: trespassing collective unconscious borders and trying to influence them forcefully, putting many guardian deties at risk of possession, sickness, or even death.

Ema (EMMA, Demiurge): God born from avid users of the AI EMMA, as instructed by Kuon Ichinose. After being defeated by the Phantom Thieves, she was saved to go live a life to help humans. She would be able to meet her sister again and share her own definition of what it means to help humans, finally free of resorting to the "optimal solution." She is made to stay in Inaba, a collective that lacked influence from herself when she was once an AI. Often confused for being related to Sho.

Zen (Chronos formerly): Once a good friend to Izanami-no-Mikoto. She herself did not remember much about him, but he remembered a lot of what she taught him. He guides Marie to her memories, cautioning her still, yet providing the help he can. He is not able to reunite with Nami, but they are well aware he has moved on happily.

Nagi (Enlil): The most cooperative of those assisted by the DRI. She is able to share experiences and sentiments with Nami and other deities. She has her own wishes to find Hikari and be able to see her in the eye. She is now a real movie theatre curator based in Japan during the 20XX timeline and shows Hikari's and many other independent works. She feels rather unsatisfied with the relationship she has with Nami, as they see her as their late mother (AWKWARD)

[pinkseas]

naur but everytime i word vomit into ur inbox i literally cant remember 70% of it than the core details and the ones you answered the next day so it's kinna funny i wish tumblr lets me save my anon asks than eating it up cus i ain't drafting it like ANYWAY TO UR BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >> I LOVE GOING INSANE WITH ALY PINKSEAS TOO ur friends are so real!!!!!!! youre insane are you single IS SUCH A FUNNY ASS LINE I WISH I WAS HIT BY IT AND I'D SAY YEA WHAT ABOUT IT

"twitter scares me so bad" as you should it's a shithole for genshin altogether with discourse and mischaracterization and you'd literally cannot stop seeing any of them once you get genshin in ur algorithm and yknow what i realized my only Best fandom experience came from tumblr with undertale Despite its discourses bc its got effective filters and the people are genuinely Good so now i'm thinking of yeeting outta twt and spectating my way here like last time (i am already doing it)

"if i read soulmates it has to be done Right [...] they can’t depend on one another they cant need one another they have to Want. they have to Choose" LIKE NO YEAH THIS IS SO TRUE SO REAL THIS IS WHAT BUGS ME ON SOULMATE AUS when it's almost not by choice and they have to work on accepting it like they're forced into needing it's like,.. a very complicated method here in changing their minds toward the other person Because of the cursed bestowed on them- the point of Choice is so fucking important to me especially when it comes to xiao specifically bc in my rendition of his he's unfamiliar with such things for a long time,.. and even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to IT JUST HURTS HE LOST HIS FREE WILL AND THEN UR SOUL BOUND LIKE WHAT (AND FR specific soulmate tropes where the two ARE given the choice for it are. acceptable 2 me)

"lumine handling intensity well and being much better at identifying her emotions suits her SO well imo" yeah like yea!!EVERYTHING ABT THIS and i think it follows up all the traveler's sass in-game bc she's so fuckin hilarious for delivering lines super well despite having Less lines cus aside paimon taking over the talking she does have her moments and i lov her for it I DO WISH THEY HAVE HER TALK MORE EVEN WITH THE USUAL TEXT CHOOSING i just want her sick ass lines conversing

FKSDFHJSKDFJ ENDEARING IS SUCH A GODLIKE WORD TO ME I WILL KEEP USING IT FOR XIAO EVER its the way you can use it like. subtlely. a lil hidden a lil not Much about his cuteness without explicitly calling him cute its Big Word for the small boy!!!!

your thoughts on qpr makes me feel so much better abt thinking this way bout r/s like YEAH its all abt communication and open with boundaries and there really is something stifling about established r/s BUT IT'S COMPLETELY FINE FOR THOSE WHO PREFER THAT ANYHOW!!

AND YES SO MUCH ON LUMINE AND XIAO'S SHOW OF ATTRACTION TO EACH OTHER i wudnt even call it attraction i think anything that indicates a romantic tension between them is something i'm not gonna entertain like 'craving' or 'desire' (this word in particular is used very specific) and stuff like that, and it's a big fact that lumine's attachment feels like its the same to everyone Except aether,... even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home too. it's unbeatable even to xiao, or at least, xiao has a different treatment to kindness for being so Similar to her (breaks down) "i feel like seeing each other constantly would be a detriment i think it’d make them both feel really weird." like RIGHT????? IT JUST FEELS OFF THIS WAY and it's not a good portrayal of xiao's desperation not wanting to lose someone else anymore. but even then, idt he shows that notion much or at all than his self-sacrifice tendencies, which is an entirely different topic. this thing about xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether...;;,,

"no bc i characterize lumine as LOVING nature so bad" and u are absolute fucking RIGHT to think that, and for me she just likes exploring in general and is a bit of a reckless daredevil so long she has her glider and its the only condition. its stupid it's silly BUT IT MAKES SENSE shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos

"i am So Grateful to you for sharing your thoughts i am so giddy over us being on such similar wavelengths" AND ME TO YOU TOO IT'S BEEN SO GOOD TO JUST SPILL EVERYTHING I HAVE IN MIND and get comfortable even on stuff im shy to reveal on unpublished asks cus ur reactions even if not agreeing there's still some reassurance anyway and i dont mind that or feel rejected at all when 98% others is what we just. have connected brains on KDJFHSDKJFH AND JEEZ I RLLY DO CAN'T HELP MYSELF WHEN THE BRAINWORMS INVADE WHEN I REPLY UR RESPONSES TOO it takes over my fingers like a parasite i gratefully let em

and ouuouh ur interpretation of the two's development starting in inazuma is so sweet and it makes sense bc of how dangerous the region is bc in my silly lil bran it made sense to have it After the chasm since it's the quests centering his arc AND I STILL CANT BELIEVE HE HAS HIS OWN ARCHON INTERLUDE,.. this made me loving all the peeps of the chasm gang too and i wish they did Something after the quest ended like UEUEUE TRAUMA SHARING SESSION FOR PPL WHO ONLY MET FOR 3 DAYS LETS GO

so like i start from sumeru bc of the points bc of this and bc i love slow development So Much im practically immune to slowburn did u know. all those fics do Not affect me even if i reach its 30th chapter of them being reluctant to opening up. ""zhongli encouraging him to take more time to himself, lumine taking him on little trips guiding him out more and more and more often" is THE CONCEPT EVER YOU HAVE ZHONGLI INVOLVED idk if you dig this but parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world. like zhongli is such a dad,.... doing dad things a grandpa to liyue but i also cant help but have him having an attachment to xiao knowing they share a life even as a master-subordinate r/s (cus in my interpretation zhongli never felt that way than thinking he just wants xiao to Live, too,.. sobbing crying shitting)

"taking baby steps in leaving that part of his life, never quite letting go but letting the ties that hold him to liyue loosen, never forgetting his contract and his duty but understanding that there’s no longer an obligation to fulfill it, that he does it out of his own wish instead. i just. idk. idk !!!!!! at the core of it i think im obsessed with them learning how to live again and doing it together" i got no words. i ran out of brain fuel but my body is convulsing folding in on itself liek MY LIEGE YOU ARE!!!!! U R SO,........ LIKE OSBFGKJFGHDKJGH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is THE XIAOLUMI AND METHINKS,....... THE XIAO ARC IN ENTIRETY AS WELL CUS I BELIEVE IN HIS INDEPENDENCY (with a little help and support from ppl who cares bout him) i just akjdhaskejjksfhsdfkjhdsjfhkjdsbvadhvbjhkv

using a read more thingy just for the sake of anyone on mobile

NOT REMEMBERING ASKS IS SO REAL i forget what i say so often even when i Can go back and check how the fuck am i supposed to know what ive said when i Can't

MY BESTIE THAT MENTIONED US >>> SO REAL i think its been more than a few at this point actually which is very funny to me. shan if ur reading this i am holding u so close to me in my little arms. youre insane are you single is the best line ever especially when you are Dating The Person Who Says It my response every time is "no but i could be😏" i find myself far too funny its awful

we are Shaking Hands in terms of being on tumblr experiencing the undertale fandom that's so real of us undertale was the reason i got a tumblr in the first place all those years ago... you should ABSOLUTELY spectate here i literally never see anything i don't want to see i live in my perfect little echo chamber it's so <333

"even in canon he's a lil troubled about deciding things for himself in the presence of higher beings until he's allowed to" GODDD YEAH YEAH YEAH YEA H YEAH YEAHY HEA YEAH !!!!!!!!!!!!! do NOT force this boy into situations he does that enough by himself thank you very much

"even after she discovers his abyss persona she still begs for them to go back home" no bc its just. On Another Level Genuinely. they've been traveling together with no one but each other with god knows how long especially depending on personal headcanons, they're used to going through entire worlds and moving on theyre used to not getting super attached !!! its a little different in teyvat i think because theyve lost most of their power and they're trapped and alone for the foreseeable future but. that still doesnt change the past and their habits yknow ?? its something i try REALLY hard not to think about actually because (with the exception of a very specific au which i am currently writing for) unless they're just. trapped on teyvat Forever i CANNOT imagine lumine staying there once she has the ability to leave and i CANNOT imagine xiao ever leaving. it makes me So Sad genuinely i simply refuse to acknowledge its existence

"xiao's attachments and morals is a complicated thing to tackle altogether" SO REAL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO GLAD U THINK IM RIGHT ABT THE NATURE LOVING it just feels right tbh and "shes just a constant headache to xiao in looking after her testing through the terrain but /pos" also so real <33333333 lumine and her silly little glider. god. i love them both so bad

i do like to think of the chasm as post-inazuma but thats because in my head w/ their development inazuma is like. The Next Step almost, where they're close enough in liyue but the fact that they continue to be close even once lumine has left really hits. and then they've been a bit closer and become familiar with one another in quite a few ways by the time the chasm happens and then i get super self indulgent with the chasm because i am so silly like that <3333 in terms of slowburn and the way you've described their growing closeness it does make SO much sense to swap it tbh i love the thought of the chasm being like the start of things and the way that'd bring them closer before inazuma and. mfgnmhfnmf god. GOD.

"i wish they did Something after the quest ended" no bc in my little brain they get together once every month or two just to have a meal together and talk and keep up with each other they are Friends Now

"parental zhongli has me on the floor so id like to think he's another important figure in xiao's life aside lumine too he's just that warm hand on his back encouraging Out of his comfort zone and obligations and lumine's the hand that pulls him Along to see the new things of the world" this is the most perfect accurate thing i have read in my entire life for starters i LOVE parental zhongli like. idk not FULL parental not too much but def him being a more parental figure in xiao's life especially compared to other interpretations of their dynamic i just. god. it is So Important to me that zhongli cares for him and looks after him just in those little ways. the warm encouraging hand on his back vs the hand pulling him along is PERFECT thats such a fucking amazing way of putting it i love everything abotu that the image is so clear in my head

o(-(

^^^ me dead on the floor thinking about zhongli and lumine being such important figures in xiao's life... i like to think that a Lot of the characters in liyue are important to him in different, small little ways i just don't know their characters well enough to fully describe how but like. idk baizhu qiqi yanfei ganyu yknow ?? i know next to nothing about yanfei but i might have to try and write her for this honestly we'll see how it goes but i REALLY want there to be at least one character other than the few i have now who he ends up talking to even if its just smth rly simple... if nothing else the chasm crew is getting an honorable mention on god

idk i just. xiao has done so much for liyue for so long i really love to think of those very few who know him trying to do little supporting things for him, too it's so important to me

okay and now !!!

i am also gonna answer the Other Ask but without publishing it naturally it will simply live comfy cozy in my inbox <333

THAT ONE SHIP "it mischaracterizes Both characters in the pair altogether for the sake of romance" you're so real for this idk i dont MIND seeing it but it has never felt in character to me and i feel like this describes exactly why ?? idk maybe its just the xiaolumi brainworms eating away at me but like. i Get It

what you said about like. your personal hcs for him in regards to that trauma and how he processes it that is SO fucking valid, i def understand getting anxious about certain self-indulgent hcs im the same way both with the sillier ones and heavier ones but i can promise you that if nothing else i will Never judge you for even the most self indulgent ridiculous shit EVER. like the way you described it all is so valid and so easy to picture and a really good way to interpret/believe he'd deal with everything but even if you were to have the most ooc headcanon or anything ever just for fun just for the sake of it i simply would never judge having fun is the Most Important with these things im so srs

we have diff interpretations of how he'd deal with things like the yaksha's deaths and zhongli dying but i think a lot of the points we both have are still pretty similar, ESPECIALLY with him not knowing how to handle it and ESPECIALLY especially with the shock factor. the way i write him or would write his reaction to that would definitely be him just sort of Shutting Down emotionally because its too much and too overwhelming and so he kicks into like. i cant call it work mode its not really a job. but he fully focuses on fighting and finding out who couldve killed rex lapis and like. he turns his attention to things that are familiar and easier to deal with and he buries himself in them the way one would bury themselves in their work to ignore emotions yknow? and then there'd be the shock factor of "oh he Is alive" and then there's this massive pit of grief with nowhere to go because logically, reasonably, rex lapis is alive, there's nothing left to grieve. he shouldn't still be upset <- man who refuses to let himself process and feel his emotions when the emotions dont stop existing just bc he ignores them

that being said that's definitely a Pattern With Me Specifically like in the barbara fic ive been working its built off of canon but i take it SO far just bc i can :sob: and i enjoy it way too much to want to Not do that yknow? girls who struggle to process and Actually Feel their emotions writing characters strugglign to process and Actually Feel their emotions so that she can process and feel them vicariously through them <3 or something along those lines idk at this point its less that and more "wow this is really fun to write and its smth im familiar with so its easier to write as well"

my cat meowed and i stepped away for like 2 seconds to pet her and immediately lost every train of thought ive ever had in my life hopefully i wasnt gonna say anything else LMAO but no yeah self indulgent hcs and ways of interpreting characters >>>>>>>

i keep reading and rereading the way you described xiao's response to grief i am OBSESSED its so easy to imagine its so easy to see like oh my god. ohhhh my god. based as hell it suits him so well

i cannot think of anythign else to say back to the trenches i go <- finding scenes where i started in the middle or left out the endings and filling those parts in now that i dont know what else to write. its been really nice actually ive gotten a lot done just with that LMAO

[boytoyhalo]

I think it's partially a character choice and partially not. I'm a big fan of Phil but you've definitely made a solid observation about him that I've thought about before in regards to "character choices" especially during purgatory.

ccphil, and by extension his characters, are very much used to being the Adult In The Room. it shows through in almost every group interaction he's a part of, sometimes in good ways and sometimes... not. He's very confident/self-assured and falls into a natural leadership role and as a result tends to treat his own perspective as fact. And I think he's aware of that, at least in part - he definitely plays it up or at least lets it go unchecked for roleplay reasons.

in this instance there is literally no way this could not be a character choice, simply because. well. it's not real lol. tallulah is not a real child (nor is sunny) and wilbur is not her real dad. He's giving an in-lore explanation for tallulah's attitude - and he's maybe not doing so entirely seriously because he doesn't love doing Serious Lore, but the point stands that he knows what he's talking about is strictly in roleplay, he knows that he's acting even if it isn't intensive. If he wanted his character to consider sunny's perspective he would've. I guess maybe Choice isn't the best word for it, because it doesn't really seem like he's making an ACTIVE writing choice, but it's a choice to not have qphil treat the situation as seriously as ccphil would if they were real kids yknow?

Qphil is focused on himself and his own, and thats not an active choice but a collective result of a bunch of small choices that ccphil makes. It's his playstyle and attitude that he adopts while streaming bleeding into the character. this same thing applies to most roleplay characters, at least the ones played by less Serious roleplayers (for contrast, pretty much every qBBH character moment is a deliberate decision by ccbbh. Cellbit is also like that, albeit a bit less intensely) But its particularly noticeable for phil (and etoiles and roier) because he keeps the line between roleplay and meta so blurry that the 4th wall practically doesn't exist anymore. I think that's why you can also see it in his other characters, and his general persona. BECAUSE his characters are more just extensions of his general streaming persona rather than characters that he deliberately writes to be different from him.

idk if that makes sense it's late and this ended up way longer than i meant it to but tl;dr yes i agree that the reason qphil is like that is because that's kinda just how ccphil is at least on stream but I ALSO think it's a deliberate choice to play his character the way he does, and i think critiquing it still falls under character critique by default if nothing else because it was a choice phil made, in-character, in a story that does not exist in a real capacity that ccphil can have any stake in. We can't know exactly how ccphil would act if this was real, if tallulah was actually a kid he was taking care of and was being rude to another kid, but I doubt he would make the same choice you know?

there is a burning fire of frustration i have within me for qphil anndddd just gonna put this out there but how definite are we that these are solid 'character flaw' decisions and not maybe? weirdness?

[notchedmind-blog]

Expect me back in a few days!

Gonna do some revamping, but ya girl noire is back for real this time (but school will come first that is for sure)

and on another note how fucking dope would a Persona5 AU be with noire i mEAN C’MON

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

Sena?

(For an ask game that i already lost the link for because it’s been half a year. I’m so sorry anon i have no excuses haljfkal. but thank you for sending this in)

under read more bc i have word vomit disease and my answers got long. the questions are:

fave thing about them

least favourite thing about them

favourite line

brOTP

OTP

random headcanon

unpopular headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate w them

favourite picture of them

Favourite thing about them:

I had to rewrite this section bc I listed too many things LOL. I just like sena a lot..! But if I really had to pick one, I think it's contrast between his external and internal selves. He always behaves like an absolutely deranged and narcissistic person when actually. He is very critical of himself and holds onto regrets and the past a lot. Thinking about the "Yuu-kun. Makoto Yuuki-kun. I've always known." line from Starmine and the part in Lionheart where he says he doesn't want to forget Leo and their time together. He cares so much about others, so much more than he knows what to do with himself. It's very cute and sweet and incredibly sad. The tragedy of Sena Izumi is that he cares too much to ever really be normal about things. or that he never learned what to do with all that love. Anyway I wrote a 2.5k word essay on this if anyone here hasn't read it yet please do it's a whole manifesto

Least favourite thing about them:

I think he should just let Tsukasa eat his food. This goes for Arashi too, they need to let Tsukasa just eat.

Favourite line:

maybe this one in Lionheart: "Anyway, it pisses me off so I step on his [Leo's] head." you rarely get moments in enstars where you go "yep, boys will be boys" (in the positive way of the phrase). it's a funny moment and i like it.

brOTP:

nazusena!!!!! I could write a whole essay about this and i hope i do. the only reason i haven’t is bc there’s so much, idk where to start. there's a lot to unpack here but the gist of it is that sena is the only one in ! that lets nazuna be his bitchy self without any mean feelings mixed in. they know how to push each others buttons but also know which lines never to cross. they're great friends! i believe with the force of a thousand suns that they had crying sessions about their exes in tennis club.

also narusena! whenever naru reaches her limit and blows up at someone, everyone is surprised except for izumi. he knows that she's got a mean streak, but he also knows that her good girl persona is very important to her so he doesn't call her out on it - except for when he's validating her anger in the rare cases that she lets it get the better of her. (tbh thinking about it now, it's the same w nazuna - he never calls nazuna out on his bitchiness, probably because nazuna makes it super clear that he's trying very hard to be a respectable nii-chan. isn’t izumi weirdly considerate sometimes? i love him)

also the way narusena have a handle on each other is very funny. there's izumi knowing naru's worst flaws and thinking nothing about it, and then there's also pirates when naru bribed sena into acting the way she wanted him to as if he's a kindergartener.

OTP:

izuleo for the fantastic breakup vibes and longing and pining and regret and. also they're cute. also did you know that leo's family loves sena and in !! he sometimes crashes at their place instead of his own.

ritsuizu because ritsu would tease izumi to hell and back and i think it'll be funny. also did you know that when sena gets back from florence and can't sleep bc of jetlag, they just hang out and talk. this has been mentioned at least twice and it makes me soooo happy because they're 2 incredibly guarded people and now they're so comfy around each other. cries... and also ritsu looooves being pampered while izumi has mom friend disease and has to look after the people around him or he’ll die. rtmo & izumako dynamic but without all the baggage of like. yknow. izumako, and also mao being the only person who paid attention to ritsu and who sometimes doesn't really like being the object of ritsu's obsession. rtiz are made for each other their hands fit perfectly. i speak this into existence.

ritsuizuleo is also great because now izumi has 2 very troublesome boyfriends who will very happily shower izumi with affection and izumi probably spends 80% of the time with his face red but being very happy about it on the inside.

nOTP: if i've ever seen a sena ship that made me frown, i just scrubbed that from my memory. but tbh i think any sena ship would be incredibly funny bc he just cannot behave like a normal or functional person.

random headcanon:

ok this is actually from a fic i read but. izumi constantly accidentally stepping or sitting on ritsu all over the place bc ritsu just falls asleep in the weirdest places, until izumi eventually checks under the desk or kotatsu before he sits by habit. it feels very izumi for him to learn to regularly do small actions like this but never really mention it. 

unpopular opinion:

He's supposed to be pretty but I don't find him physically or aesthetically attractive??? (.... Fem!Sena on the other hand. My brain always freezes and stops working and i'm like "wow what an ethearal person!!" i don’t feel like having a crisis over this so i don’t think about this much. but it happens.)

song i associate with them: idk maybe silent oath and the divorced izuleo vibes. wanting to be with the person but you don’t think you should. talk to each other properly you losers (affectionate) i’m going to cry and sob at you

favourite picture of them:

checkmate unbloomed. i can’t put the image here bc i can’t find a png of it, but here’s a link to it in the wiki. it’s the one where little john, the midly pudgy grey cat is like. sprawled on izumi’s upper torso and shoulder and izumi not only LETS it but also gently pats her and looks at her softly. i bet izumi’s other arm is supporting the cat’s bottom so it can relax properly on his shoulder. what a softie.

i love little john so much. i'm sorry izumi i know you like attention but this isn't about you. i read this story at the start of my enstars journey, and let me tell you that little john made me 10x more invested in knights' storyline. i am a cat person. which also explains why i like knights, because they’re all very cat-coded. or ritsuizuleo at least.

[sharpezart]

i want to take a moment to talk into the void about the dynamic of Rio and Murdoc, which I'm sure on the surface can seem like an out of character relationship choice for Murdoc and indeed would be considered one for Rio if anyone should know her other than me (which they do not.)

Anyways, I get into it under this vv ... its more for My own "worldbuilding" for my art, but figured i could post it if anyone wanted a peek! muah <3

Firrrst if all, if you are familiar with What We Do in the Shadows as a series, the dynamic of Murdoc and Rio once they actually get together is similar to Laszlo and Nadja. Which does in fact mean they are some level of in love and the fact that their relationship is open (moreso on Murdoc's end of things, Rio is content as is though she does have a few rare one-night stands) doesn't change that.

Rio and Murdoc are both different levels of self involved. Rio at least is drawn to her less selfish side, and her egotism is much more of an addition to her criminal behaviour, feeling the need to have an "i dont give a fuck, i can do anything i want" attitude. Hers is also far more rooted in genuine confidence than Murdocs'. It is grounded in reason and surviving hellish experiences.

Well, they both know about hellish experiences. Just another thing in common!

Rio tends to be uninterested in the affairs of others, less involved in the lives of her friends. Murdoc is this way to a degree but has the tendency to be overinvolved as well, where he believes he /should/ know the business of his bandmates and often feels put off if he doesn't.

Murdoc is a very push-and-pull fellow, personality wise. He pushes to come across as tough, cool, dangerous, sexy and desirable. This feeds into self involvement. The persona! The great Act! ...and he pulls to try and be a decent bloke, a caring, attentive friend and a pleasant man to be 'round. His needs (patience, love, care) and wants (attention, power, praise) claw at each other, and usually the persona wins. Ever the show off.

Rio doesnt have the inner conflict that could cause her to show off....she just /shows off/ because she likes to do /cool shit/. She's unwavering in doing what she wants when she wants to, whether or not the people around her like it. He first choice in life is usually her own freedom...as is Murdocs! Which is interestingly enough the very reason they are so good together!

They place no hindrance on one another in terms of what they like to do, where they go, or who they are with. The decision to be engaged in a relationship comes about because they are both still people, and people enjoy loving and being loved despite their possible avoidance of saying so (and they do avoid saying this to just about everyone else within ear shot! but, not so much each other). It is perhaps the one source of stability in either of their lives...which I know sounds weird. But it makes sense to me. Sometimes people just need that one link to keep the whole chain sticking together, yknow?

When it comes down to it, the person they each enjoy being around most is each other! The person they think to share news with, check in on, pick up a gift or a snack for....Rio is Murdoc's *Person* just as Murdoc is Rio's *Person*. They both own an understanding of the other person and a willingness to continue doing so that is frankly very refreshing to them both.

For all of Murdoc's mindless chatter, flirting, storytelling, and sometimes accidental ignorance, he /does/ put information about Rio Teagan /somewhere/ in his mind, and keeps that part very well taken care of.

Rio has a knack for seeming like she isn't listening, daydreaming, or purposefully ignoring people...but again!! Miraculously she has chosen Murdoc as someone she keeps up with.

They have similarities, enough to relate to each other and understand struggles, choices, humour etc...and they have enough differences that they aren't at odds and can find a relatively stable balance. The most they bicker about is when Murdoc insists a wild story is true, or when Murdoc feels any sort of threatened by the presence of someone else. Rio can sometimes get on his case about his health and communication skills. They usually resolve things relatively quickly because they can kind of easily just "eh, whatever" it and go about their day without holding a grudge...you just cant control people. You REALLY can't control either of THESE people.

so to wrap it up, they both kinda

suck,

as far as being very pleasant people goes, but they seem to do much better for themselves and others when finally paired up.

[prinxlyart]

I was just chilling in the morning and then I started to think about how Amity was mean to Willow when they were alone in the woods even though there was no one around to rat her out to her parents or something and now I can't stop thinking about how much it affected her to be forced to cut Willow off and how from the 3 Blight kids she's the one that seemed to crave her parents' approval the most despite their abuse that might not have been evident to her until meeting Luz and seeing that Eda was more caring and supportive of a kid she found in her stand than her parents of their kids.

Anyways, do you have any headcanons about how those 7 years were like for Amity?

This goes perfectly with the last one I answered so let’s dig in

(This is another Long One ™️)

Amity cried for like, a month after she was forced to cut ties with Willow. The only ones that knew this were her siblings though. She made them swear not to tell, although she didn’t really need to. They knew what their parents were like.

As time went on, Amity felt....Othered. She was different from her siblings (she wasn’t a twin nor was she naturally good at illusions). She was different from the girls she was told to be friends with (they were mean and Amity didn’t like being mean). She was different from all the other kids in her grade (she was a Blight).

This odd sort of unintentional distancing left her feeling almost numb. She didn’t know how to act around her new mean “friends”, but over time she picked up their behavior. She knew if she wanted to convince her parents that she was getting along with these girls, she’d have to act like she liked them and act like them too.

So she started imitating them. She’d watch how they made fun of anything and everything and learned to keep her own interests hidden for fear of being the next one they’d ridicule. They would even make fun of each other which was the most baffling to Amity. Were any of them actually friends?

She tried to keep her eyes off Willow. She couldn’t bear to see her, especially now that Amity’s new “friends” picked on her constantly. She couldn’t stand to see the tears in Willow’s eyes and the look of fear and shame her “friends” caused her to don.

As the years went on and her numbness settled in, she learned how to adopt her “friend’s” behaviors even when they weren’t around. Because even though they might not be around, everyone else around her still knows she’s a Blight. And Blight’s always make sure that their status as The Best is known to those around them. So she starts making comments on other people’s poor grades. Snide remarks about others’ lack of talent. Whispers with her “friends” about how so-and-so could barely be qualified as a witch. She had a whole persona to uphold after all; she made sure that no one would be able to call her out for not acting like a Blight.

The library was her safe haven. Her secret nook inside the library was even more so. Even the library was too public for her to be caught acting as anything other than a Blight. The only time she could remove the mask and just be herself was when she was either in her secret nook or, eventually, when she started volunteering to read to the little kids.

Amity cherishes her time spent reading to the little kids because she can indulge in all of her childish interests and fiction under the guise of extra credit. And the kids love when she gets so into her story-telling, so who does it hurt? Those little kids don’t know what her reputation is supposed to be and they have no expectations beyond telling them a fun story. Anyone that does know who she is will only think she’s going above and beyond in what she’s doing like she does with anything else.

She still missed Willow. Every time she saw her eating alone at lunch or hiding in her cowl hood to avoid the taunts and jeers thrown at her from their peers, it broke Amity’s heart. The only person she could be her real self with had become the school target and she was among the people that made her that target. It made her want to puke if she thought about it for too long. So she opted to try not to think about it at all. She would mindlessly listen to her friends drone on about whatever new thing had caught their attention and sit in her thoughts until her attention was drawn by the group.

There were times when she would find herself alone with Willow and she would flash back to her 7th birthday party. Her parent’s threats would echo in her ears and she would have to bite the inside of her cheek to remember to Act Like a Blight. So she kept up the facade, even if it was just the two of them. She had to do it then, of course she’d have to keep it up now.

At the point we see them in the show, Amity’s been pretending for so long that she’s starting to believe her own lies. She’s forced herself to think about only being top of her class and maintaining her family’s reputation (not like her siblings have helped on that front). She is better than Willow, at least when it comes to magic. She can barely do anything with her magic, it was visible proof. Amity had worked harder than anyone to master abominations to the degree she had. She was a Blight. Anyone that tried to say otherwise could suffer her wrath.

She gets along with her friends almost the same way she gets along with her siblings: be civil and relatively friendly in the presence of others and then complain about whatever nonsense they did in her diary. She wishes she had another actual person to talk to about all this, but her “friends” were as fake as the relationships she had with them and as far as she knew, none of them were being threatened by their parents to interact with one another. Maybe Skara? Potentially Boscha? But Boscha has been so into her role as Top Bully for as long as Amity’s known her and she hardly thinks her parents are coercing her into acting so horribly.

When she sees Willow start hanging out with the Illusion track kid (augustus, she finds out from her siblings; he transferred to their home room after being bumped up a couple grades), Amity’s heart drops entirely. She’s officially been replaced. Despite the years of distance and tormenting, Amity wanted to believe that somehow, Willow would find it in her to forgive her and they could be friends again. But Willow’s moved on and made a new best friend. She deserves to.

Somehow it hurts even more when Luz starts attending Hexside. Amity actually likes Luz. She hasn’t actually liked another person since, well, Willow. And now Luz attending Hexside and not being ashamed of being friends with Willow makes her heart ache in a way it hadn’t for a few years. Willow’s smiling. Laughing. Sure, that Augustus kid makes her smile too, but it’s much different with Luz around. With Luz by her side, Willow was coming out of the shell she’d built for herself to protect herself from all the mockery Amity’s friends encouraged the rest of the school to throw at her. It was an odd feeling of melancholy watching them be best friends in the halls of Hexside; Amity was happy that Willow was happy, that she finally found someone to help her out of that shell Amity was forced to make her build. But it stung just as much because it wasn’t her that was able to make Willow smile and laugh like that. Amity hadn’t been able to do that for Willow since they were small.

She truly didn’t mean to ruin Willow’s memories. But she also wasn’t trying to maintain her reputation when she burned the memory of her 7th birthday. No, Amity was sick to her stomach of the years of watching Willow suffer at Amity’s own hands. If she could just. Remove herself from that memory? Remove the fact that it was Amity that caused her so much pain? Amity would much rather Willow forget her entire existence than live with that pain. She half wished she could do the same to herself, but she didn’t have much chance to dwell on it before she realized she somehow had set all of Willow’s memories on fire.

When she was able to finally admit to Willow the whole truth of the reason she ruined their friendship when they were small in Willow’s memory? It felt like the weight of the Titan had been lifted off her shoulders. It didn’t excuse her actions, not by a long shot, but at least now Willow knew it wasn’t because Amity suddenly stopped liking her. Amity never stopped liking her. But to a 7-year-old, she didn’t feel as though she had any choice in the threat her parents posed and then grew up with that same fear looming over her shoulder. She didn’t know how to take it back.

Amity didn’t know what she did to deserve Luz popping into her life from a pot of Abomination goo. What she did know is that the decision she’d made when she was 7 felt irreversible her entire life up until Luz showed up. Luz, who didn’t judge her by her past actions or her fake identity, who liked Azura and was an even bigger nerd about it than Amity, who forgave Amity’s awful behavior when she tried to get her dissected and again at the Covention and then tried so desperately to become her friend; Amity didn’t understand how Luz could be so understanding and not hold Amity’s shitty behavior against her, but she’s so grateful that she didn’t because now she’s pivoted. Her whole life has made a sharp turn into making decisions for herself and not just for her family’s name.

And somehow, Luz managed to give Amity the second chance she never thought she’d get in her life: a second chance to be a better friend to Willow. And she’s so glad she took that chance.

Tl;dr: it’s fuckin ROUGH but like, dissociation, yknow? Works wonders.

[vampiremourning]

1 How often do they have sex, if at all? 8 Favourite erogenous zones? 11 Favourite romantic gestures during sex/orgasm? 12 How are their afterglows? 13 Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

otp questions (not currently accepting) 

Under the cut because yknow. Horny asks.

--

1.How often do they have sex, if at all?

I think that Katerina & Nines have sex fairly regularly (whenever things are going well between them and they’re in the same geographical vicinity at least). As far as individual sex drives go, I think they’re both probably about average, but Katerina does have some self-admitted hedonist tendencies and also enjoys ending off the rush of feeding with sex. And since she doesn’t enjoy the company of the men she’s restricted to feeding off of, she’d much rather spend the night with Nines instead. And Katerina is nothing if not an enthusiastic lover if she actually likes her partner, so he’s got no real reservations about letting her get her way. 

And as much as it’s a bit of a tired trope, it’s also not uncommon for an argument of theirs to end in bed one way or another (or in a supply closet, bathroom stall, Katerina’s car, etc. You get the picture). They’re both people with plenty of passion and internal fire to spare, and I think on some level are also pretty used to (& perhaps a bit tired of?) most people they run across not really challenging them in any way that’s satisfying. Plus, a lot of their fights are extremely circular and stem from incredibly nit picky points because they actually agree on the core of most major issues, so even if it’s an over-blown spat, 99% of the time it’s pretty meaningless. Thus, petty fights equate to decent verbal foreplay. 

All in all, until Katerina starts to settle more in LA and travel less, they’re probably hooking up 2-3 times for every week she’s in town & that number varies depending on how you actually define the phrase. 

8. Favourite erogenous zones?

The neck is kind of a gimme, but a bite to Katerina’s trapezius sends her over the edge. The vulnerability of having someone behind her running their hands down her spine is hot. 

Nines’s erotic bite spot of choice would actually be the back of his wrist. He’s also extremely partial to nails over the scalp and hair pulling. 

11.  Favourite romantic gestures during sex/orgasm?

Cheesy one--she absolutely loves it when they end up holding hands somehow. The intimacy? The tenderness? It’s exactly the sort of action that she’s so unused to receiving--it’d make her pulse race if she wasn’t a dead woman walking. It makes her feel wanted and loved, like she’s something worth treating delicately.

She loves being kissed through her orgasms. Particularly if she’s overstimulated, they tend to be... intense. She knows she’s probably loud enough for the entire building to hear, and in her mind, having her cries muffled and swallowed down by him is a way of saying that what they’re doing is for them and them only.

What it boils down to across the board is essentially just things that make her feel wanted as she is, not for any persona she puts up.

He’s not too sure if she’s aware of this when she does it, but if it’s less-rough night for them, she’s prone to framing his face with one or both hands & looking at him like he’s the only person that matters in the whole world. Everything about Katerina is wound up and serious, her real feelings hidden away behind walls of iron. But that look she gives him is just so open and unguarded, so completely trusting, it’s like looking into the eyes of a completely different person. She’s allowing him to see her soul bared, and all the vulnerability that comes with it.

She also needs to be in contact with him at all times—no scenes where he simply gets to sit back and watch a toy do all the work, for example. Her hands are reverent and careful, and she needs to touch all of him every time they strip. It’s almost ritualistic. Kisses are plentiful and given freely, and the way she clings to him speaks volumes.

12. How are their afterglows?

Absolutely luxurious. For someone who’s seemingly very closed off (Kat) and someone who doesn’t let too many people near him due to his position as Baron (Nines), they’re actually people who both crave physical touch quite a bit. Nines at least has more platonic options via his coterie, but she’s still on the reserved side.

Hence, the cuddles are plentiful. They both let themselves get lazy and sluggish, and it’s not too unusual for this to lead to a very languid follow up round. Sometimes, if she thinks he’s worked particularly hard, she’ll demand he allow her to work the kinks out of his back and thighs. She has no qualms about sitting atop him for this process either.

If things got messy, then it’s off to the bath. Once again, she likes to be the one who initiates caretaking after sex; Nines will happily oblige this if it means she’s going to throw in a wonderfully relaxing scalp massage with the shampoo (she always does). He’s not really allowed to do the same with her hair—that’s the Ventrue pickiness rearing its head, but also just the fact that she knows her curls need specific care. The compromise? Body wash in a scent of her choice.

Basically, they like to overcompensate when it comes to caring about each other. It’s very sweet.

(This is, of course, only applicable when they’re not in the “I’m not putting a label on this” stage of their relationship. That stage had practically no aftercare or after glows, and she almost always left first.)

13. Who’s loud? Who’s quiet? Does one try to make the other louder/quieter? How?

Kat is loud. Or at least, considerably more vocal.

For one, she likes to talk during sex. She’s a brat who antagonizes and demands until she gets what she wants. Or, barring that, until he decides to make her shut up/otherwise find something to occupy her mouth. I wouldn’t say it’s particularly easy to wind her up into an overstimulated, incoherent mess, but it’s definitely not the most difficult task in the world either. She’s a little embarrassed about her vocal tendencies, especially the needy, wordless moans, but that’s only when she’s not in the middle of being pleasured.

If she’s on top, her dirty talk is cranked up to eleven and she’s still got a running monologue the entire time. It’s definitely more controlled, and she’s even more of a tease, but she lays the praise on heavy afterwards to make up for it.

Comparatively, Nines doesn’t make a whole lot of noise. He’s a talker too, but in a more controlled way (granted, she’s probably not paying too much attention to the quality of his sentences past a certain point, but he thinks he’s pretty damn good at dirty talk and likes to show off), or something along the lines of letting her know how good she’s doing and how good she feels, that sort of thing. Aside from that, heavy breathing, grunts and groans, and the occasional shout on finishing are his most common sounds.

If he’s not the one topping, he’s actually even quieter than usual, but the stubborn silence is wonderfully punctuated with a handful of loud, needy sounds.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Hii! Can I please have hcs of the bucci gang and trish with a s/o who’s a new gang member who’s very naive and a past member of la squadra? Basically bruno adopted her now that she was all alone. Oh and if you don’t do trish with them could you replace fugo with her? Thank you!

- Bruno would, as expected, be extremely cautious and EVEN more protective towards her to the point where the rest of the gang would be lowkey rolling their eyes at his over the top behavior at times. Sure, the man himself realizes that he can be just a tad bit too motherly, but it’s just that he loves her too much and the fact that she’s so gullible just makes him want to keep her far from harm’s way, yknow? That obviously doesn’t mean that Bruno does not trust her abilities, after all she’s STILL a gang member. However he feels responsible for her safety (as he does with the rest of the squad) and will do all in his power to at least keep a close eye on her whenever she’s out on a mission and such. Bruno will keep her at his side at all times, training and looking out for her constantly, the man merely chuckling at her puffed cheeks and cute little annoyed expression whenever she tells him that he “fusses over her too much”. But s/o knows all too well that the man means well and that he’ll even move mountains for her.

- Giorno would, as well, be hella overprotective of his s/o, only that he’d be just a little more lowkey compared to Bruno. And by that I mean he’s going to be mostly watching over her from the shadows and won’t step in or tell her anything unless it was a serious case or her safety was compromised. That being said, the main thing that Gio would be concerned over would be her naive demeanour, even if at the same time he admires her childlike innocence and overflowing kindness. To him she’s like a breath of fresh mountain air, her carefree attitude nothing less of a cure to all the suffering and death that constantly surrounds the man on a daily basis. Sure he DOES worry that some bad guy is going to take advantage of her naivety someday, and that’s exactly why he always makes sure that she’s able to defend and stand up for herself if the situation calls for it.

- Abbacchio is probably the one who’ll have the least patience in the beginning since, in his opinion, gullible and naive people have it coming. He may not have been too fond of her at first, and yet her kind and easygoing demeanour grew on him overtime, and here we a r e. No matter how nonchalant he tries to be, we all know that Abba is a deadass softie for his airhead s/o and will even sacrifice his own life for her, even if he still pretends to not care about her constantly teasing him for being “such a grandpa”, and yet the constant blush on the brooding man’s face tells s/o otherwise. The mere fact that he’s oh so often fussing over s/o’s safety and jumps in to protect her whenever a fight breaks out speaks louder than a thousand words about how much Abbacchio truly cares about her. Deep down he really does love just how “childish” and carefree she is, her constant affection being the best distraction in days where the sky is grayer than usual. 

- Mista is head over fucking heels for her, no doubt about it. He fell for s/o the second he saw her feeding stray animals and helping poor people on the street, and we don’t talk about the time she dared him to chase her around the house just because she was wielding the last slice of pizza, the 2 of them causing a big ass commotion and breaking one of Bruno’s favorite plates in the process. Name a more iconic duo tbh bc these two radiate almost the same energy, and we all know that Mista is sure to fall for someone free spirited who can find humor in any situation and see the bright side. He won’t be as fussy as the rest of them because he knows that even if she’s pretty naive she can still kick ass, but be certain that if anyone ever dared to mess with her Mista is going to kick some MAJOR ass bitch. On another note, the man also lowkey enjoys “teaching” her how to be more intimidating at times just to clown her (and Abbacchio bc he loves giving him as the prime example of big and scary intimidating grandpa that only ever comes out of his crypt of a room to get food) in the process, Mista simply f e e d i n g off of her reactions.

- Fugo probably really vibed with her the second she joined the gang tbh. Although he isn’t “naive” per se, some things still get to him and can convince him to do brash decisions at times and so for the first time he felt as if someone TRULY understood him. Therefore, it’s no wonder that these 2 (albeit kinda awkwardly at first) ended up confessing to eachother eventually. Now Fugo is quite the anxious fussy type and will always be either clinging to her arm or just...tagging along whenever s/o leaves to run errands bc he’d hate for her to be fooled or worse: attacked by an enemy. However he still makes sure to give s/o space and a l w a y s tells her that she can always call him for backup if anything happens. S/o especially enjoys teasing Fugo for being so fussy and affectionate/clingy with her and only her, something that makes our tsundere boi right here flush and huff and puff whenever it happens.

- Narancia is probably the chillest bc have you seen the boi?? If Mista and Fugo instantly vibed w her, Nara over here thought that he had legit found his soulmate the instant he met her. He immediately fell for her carefree and easygoing attitude and honestly? Her naive persona only made him want to care for her even more, because truth be told he saw a bit of his younger self in her. Hell, even now one could argue that Nara is still a bit “naive” but he learned the hard way that he had to work on that tendency as he joined the mafia. That’s exactly why he’d always try telling s/o not to trust anyone and be aware of her surroundings, the worried man throwing his arms around her afterwards and telling her just how much he loves her and how he’d do anything in his power to protect her at all times. On another note, Narancia is always trying to make s/o forget about the hardships of the life they’re living, the man attempting to shield s/o from as much pain and horror as he can by making her laugh and spending time with her on a daily basis. Honestly, these two are serotonin providers for eachother.

- Trish could probably relate alot to her, if I’m being honest. I mean, a young girl that was flung into the mafia just like that because of a series of unfortunate events and probably some familial issues as well? Big fat kin. However, Trish was quite shy and weary of her at first, and yet her easygoing attitude made the girl open up in no time and somehow the 2 ended up together after some time. Now, when I say that s/o is quite literally Trish’s ray of goddamn sunshine, it ain’t no exaggeration. Trish is constantly looking out for her dear s/o and will go absolutely fucking feral if anyone were to take advantage of her naivety, which is why the girl sometimes warns her about the dangers of trusting others so easily. And yet whenever s/o sweetly chuckles whilst gently squeezing Trish’s hand as she reassures her that everything will be just fine, the pink haired girl can’t help but smile and put her worries aside once more and entirely trust her s/o’s words.

[permian-tropos]

yknow I wouldn’t have cared any more than a smidge about that Ioki thing but since someone sent me a scat fetish hate comment about it (??? of all things?? the internet sure is a place) I guess I care a bit more now

cause I’m thinking about the fact that I used to ID more as bigender and I don’t really do that anymore but I still relate to a feeling I had then of shipping pairings that would be m/f and the female character represented like... the she/her persona I was used to wearing and imagining esp when I was younger as my adult self, a person I constructed to be if not me someone cool and interesting. and the male character was more like the masc side of me whose affection for the female character mirrored my own attempts at cherishing and valuing the persona to make it less of a dysphoric and more of a euphoric experience. I might not be a girl deep down but sometimes I could be my own ideal girl to my inner boy and love myself. now I have an OTP that’s m/m and I hc one as cis and one as trans and I realize I’m often doing the same thing, where they both represent me.

like you see what I’m getting at? this Ioki seIfcest thing from a marvel show I haven’t watched involving character that used to be huge on this site but I never really got invested in, suddenly reminds me of some really personal queer expressions of gender and sexuality I’ve had in my own life. and I never in a million years would expect anything from a marvel property to reflect my queer experience in any way. 

so people who are like “this is normalizing fetishizing romanticizing pasteurizing moisturizing” (what sci-fi universe do u weirdos live in where you fear seIfcest is a thing that threatens to crumble our society?) and threatening to murder dogs over this and apparently all sorts of other horrible things... well I know for sure those people would probably hate me for whatever I’d create that reflects my queer experiences

and that’s their own ugly fault. I wouldn’t make art for them. in fact lately I’ve thought about how I would happily write “problematic” tropes that I’m not even a fan of, just to make sure those types of people stay Far Far Away from my art. fannish abusers deserve nothing

[wsyurim]

timezones suck!! but hello everyone and thank you for the warm welcomes ♡ i bring you all miss han yurim aka etoile’s lead vocalist aka accidental idol. here is her profile and her career page. unfortunately, i wasn’t able to come through with a plots page, but i do have some ideas that i’ll throw down below the cut. also below the cut will, hopefully, be a brief introduction to yurim and so feel free to press that little heart if you’d like to plot, and i’ll come hopping over to your im’s!

background!!

yurim comes from a very loving family. she’s the youngest with her dad being a firefighter and her mom and accountant which also means her financial status is middle class at the least though yeouido isn’t the cheapest place to live. her older sister’s like six years older than her as well so you can guess how much adoration yurim’s gotten ever since she was practically born. this is all setting up for me to explain that yurim has really high self-esteem which comes in handy with this job lol

never actually had thoughts of being an idol. when she was younger, most of her time was spent with books and with paint because she loves to draw! it’s still one of her hobbies today as well as a skill that the company likes to use on variety shows and stuff (”yurim-ssi, can you draw one of the cast members for us?”) though she kind of hates doing that 

starts singing as a hobby after her friends tell her she has a really pretty voice. asks to be sent to a vocal academy because when she wants to do something, she wants to do it well!! from there, she probably spends like six to seven months before an instructor convinces her to join yuseong’s open audition where she ends up getting second?? she’s as confused as the next person tbh 

thinks that’s it, but then she’s getting offered a trainee contract? and yeah... you can see where that led her to lmao debuting as etoile’s lead vocalist!! which is why i describe her as an accidental idol because she never intended for this to be her line of work 

as a trainee, she was pretty shocked by the competitive nature and would usually take a step back if it seemed like she was getting involved in something too intense. yurim’s very much the type to “lose” in an argument solely because she doesn’t want to get into an argument; she sees them as a big waste of time!! the type to insist that having pride is the stupidest thing because it’s all worthless at the end of the day. what’s pride going to get you more than possibly a fist to your face yknow

she’s one of those idols who is very sincere and genuine to her fans, but she’s pretty quiet on-screen so people who may not know etoile well enough other than their hit songs will probably question why she’s an idol (think vixx’s leo in terms of public image) 

her haters will try to smear her by insisting that she’s not working hard enough or that she’s not doing her job enough which isn’t completely wrong because she’s not the type to like go out of her way to be active on shows and stuff? but she does aegyo when her fans ask for it, leaves long messages on fancafes for her fans, gives her best on stage (she has good stage presence!!) and is basically a really good idol for her fans as she thinks that’s all that matters

remember that part where i said she has very self high-esteem? that means hate comments really don’t affect her because she knows who she is as a person and that those lousy comments on the internet aren’t going to affect her life at all lol 

behind the cameras, she’s not all too different from her idol persona. she’s quiet, likes to observe rather than participate in things actively which can make her come off as being super distant and uninterested. but she has a really kind heart and is genuine with her interactions with people

to this day, doesn’t really have any dreams or aspirations as an idol, but she’s here so she’ll do it until her contract expires or etoile’s career comes to an end. whichever comes first!! but do not question her passion for singing because that much is very real

possible plot ideas!!

someone who trained at yuseong at the same time (2016-2017) and thinks that yurim doesn’t deserve her spot in etoile because she doesn’t appear passionate enough. maybe you had another trainee friend who didn’t make it but yurim did so it leaves you bitter? though that’s just a random tidbit that doesn’t have to be used!!

you wonder how yurim manages to remain so confident in herself despite this line of work. idols get hate thrown at them here and there, and you’re a victim to that as well but you see yurim who just happens to skip past all that without being affected and it confuses you  

you happen to get shipped with yurim a lot and it can either a) make you want to avoid her or b) make you want to approach her because it’s funny. yurim falls on the latter in which she thinks fanships are kind of funny because she can’t imagine what makes people want to “ship” two idols together

you think yurim’s boring and try to get her to be more active in things? whether you meet on set of a variety show and try to involve her or if it’s off-camera, then maybe get her to do something adventurous

you don’t think yurim should be an idol if she never wanted to be one, and you ask her why she’s still here? 

some more casual work relationships that end up getting deeper? like you meet yurim so much either backstage or at the salon or on the same shows, and you end up talking to her all the time anyway that she’s become some sort of confidant? she’s not a woman of many words which means she does a great job at listening

something angsty would be lovely too because i love a good heartbreak or two! ex-boyfriends, past/current unrequited crushes, ex-friends for some reason

you happen to really like yurim’s voice, and she’s flattered really!! <3 

[silver-wield]

Cloud had every opportunity to validate his relationship between he and Tifa. He doesn’t tell aerith who he gave the flower to and when aerith asks if tifa is his girlfriend he’s quick to say no and when she says “she’s something special, right?” And he says “it’s not like that” that doesn’t sound like someone who’s in love... yet when Tifa questions the relationship he has with aerith, he can’t even answer... As a cloti fan I don’t think I can shobghis anymore... 😔

Ok, let’s breakdown how Cloud’s behaviour works again. 

Not that some people understand that having mental illness and crafting a false persona to protect their own psyche means they do things that are contradictory to their own true feelings at times. They seem to think SOLDIER Cloud is another way of saying “He’S jUsT zAcK”. Which isn’t that at all and they need to stop purposely misunderstanding the point.

SPOILERS FOR CLOUD’S ENTIRE BACKSTORY. 

Cloud: introverted, socially awkward, no father figure, low self-esteem, lives in a very small town with little culture and few kids his age. Of those kids, the majority don’t like him because they’re assholes (yeah I said it).

Tifa: childhood friend and crush, who isn’t an asshole to him because she’s a literal fucking sweetheart (don’t even try and @ me). Shy, reserved, polite, kind, also can be reckless af.

Age 8, Tifa’s mother dies and she gets it into her head that she can go visit her at the top of mt Nibel because that’s where she gets the impression the lifestream touches the planet.

Cloud (9), follows her and her friends up the mountain and stays with her as they chicken out. He and Tifa have an accident, which results in Tifa being unconscious for 7 days. During that time she’s unconscious (but yknow some ppl say she should’ve still cleared up the misunderstanding WHILE UNCONSCIOUS, despite never learning of it even after she woke up), her friends throw Cloud under the bus to her father as the reason why she went there. Tifa’s father puts all the blame for it on him (douchebag move, but he’s an upset parent who’s just lost his wife and now doesn’t know if his daughter will live or die. I’m not excusing him, but he’s got reasons other than “let’s victimise Cloud”.) Tifa’s father tells Cloud that if he isn’t capable of protecting her then he should keep his distance.

Cloud resolves to become stronger and thanks to Stamp propaganda and Sephiroth hero worship he decides to become a SOLDIER.

Tifa never says anything about this being what she wants. She likes Cloud just as he is.

Skip forward a few years and Cloud’s 14, has kept his word not to hang out with Tifa, not that it stops her wanting his attention.

The promise scene occurs, where Cloud tries to get Tifa to admit she likes him and Tifa gets Cloud to promise to return to town just once so she can see him again (because these idiots have no idea they mutually like each other in a romantic sense).

Skip forward another 2 years.

Cloud (16) isn’t a SOLDIER, but he’s got to go to Nibelheim with Zack and Sephiroth. He hides from Tifa, ashamed that he isn’t the man he promised he’d become.

Tifa (15) who’s massively disappointed Cloud wasn’t with them, ends up seriously injured by Sephiroth after he loses his marbles. 

Cloud appears and saves her, killing Sephiroth. 

Zangan takes Tifa away from Nibelheim - and good thing too or she’d have ended up a test subject with the others.

Cloud and Zack are stuffed in chambers to be experimented on.

4 years go by and Zack saves Cloud who’s suffering mako poisoning. They make it to Midgar, which takes around a year, where Zack then dies, leaving his sword to Cloud. 

Cloud still suffering from mako poisoning and now also with PTSD and all his other previous issues, shambles into Midgar where Tifa finds him.

Here’s the bit people like to misunderstand.

Cloud is infected with Jenova cells, which warp his perception and make him susceptible to Sephiroth’s control. (This is proven by a moment at the end of the game where Cloud’s hand twitches in response to Sephiroth asking for his help)

Zack told Cloud a lot of stories, both before he was poisoned and after. These combined with Jenova’s mind warping, the mako poisoning itself and Cloud’s own severe trauma allowed him to craft a false persona for himself, which he needed to protect his real psyche from a further mental breakdown.

Cloud is a mentally ill protagonist.

Cloud uses the SOLDIER persona he’s crafted as a shield to function in daily life. He’s unaware of what he’s done. He believes SOLDIER!Cloud is the only psyche. We get to see real!Cloud on screen at the beginning of Chapter 8 asking SOLDIER!Cloud if he’s ok. Real!Cloud specifically refers to the childhood event on mt Nibel with Tifa where he “got away with scraped knees”. SOLDIER!Cloud doesn’t know what he’s talking about because it’s a real!Cloud memory and not one he’s privy to. Any time SOLDIER!Cloud tries reconnecting to his true self he ends up in pain. He’s not ready to be whole yet.

Behind the shield is an emotionally stunted, very ill man who spent four years as a lab rat, suffered countless traumas, witnessed his home burned and saw the girl he loved stabbed. The real Cloud is a weak, flawed human being who isn’t in a good enough head space to function, let alone do all the things that’s needed of him during events in the game.

Cloud doesn’t think he’s Zack. The only time that argument can even be used is in a 23 year old game that has clear script problems all over the place. That information is outdated and been debunked several times over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, onto the points you raised.

Cloud cannot connect his real persona and the feelings he has for Tifa with this false persona he has. The SOLDIER persona acts as both a shield and a wall preventing things from affecting the real!Cloud behind it. Nothing gets in or out. That’s why Cloud can’t articulate his feelings for Tifa. It’s not because he doesn’t feel anything for her, it’s because he can’t connect to those feelings until after he’s reunited the fractured parts of his psyche -- which only happens because of Tifa during the lifestream sequence. It’s then he’s able to get back in touch with those feelings and express them. It’s not because they don’t exist. He never, at any point, in 7R says he doesn’t have feelings for Tifa. He says she’s not his girlfriend - fact, she isn’t. He says in response to Aerith asking “she’s someone special” that “it’s not like that” but then gets cut off, like every other point in the game where he’s about to try and explain his feelings. He doesn’t know how he feels because those feelings belong to real!Cloud and not SOLDIER!Cloud. We get a clear view of how Real!Cloud feels about Tifa during the plate fall. At several points, the urge to comfort Tifa is seen. That’s not SOLDIER!Cloud’s urge, it’s real!Cloud’s. When he sees her crying during Jessie’s cut scene, when he sees her on her knees at the top of the plate, when his hand twitches as Barret hugs her. All of these are canon non-optional moments that build a picture of real!Cloud wanting to express his feelings to Tifa, but not being able to. The resolution is the culmination of those feelings. He takes his time hugging her back because the SOLDIER persona is trying to protect him still, but the real!Cloud breaks through long enough to hug her. And he does so hard because he needs comfort. He’s gone through so much that he’s broken inside. That’s why he hugs her until it hurts. Because he hurts. 

His response to Tifa’s question about Aerith isn't shipping. Tifa’s first words when she wakes are an urgent affirmation to get home and save the slum. Cloud agrees. She then asks Cloud how he knows Aerith, after expressing concern she'll get hurt by going with them. Tifa and Cloud are eco terrorists and as far as she knows Aerith is a normal girl. Nobody would want a civilian dragged into danger. And Cloud has been in Midgar for four days and spent most of them with Avalanche and Tifa. She's curious how they're friends because she knows Cloud isn't a people person. Cloud explains Aerith saved him, but when? It's clearer in the JP because the phrasing is that Cloud was in the kind of danger that worries Tifa. She wants to know what kind of danger Cloud would get into that he couldn't handle. Well he's not talking physical danger. He's talking about how Aerith helped him save Tifa. Because that's the kind of dork he is. He's referring to the phrase Aerith said to Sam about making sure Cloud wouldn't have to live without Tifa. That's what he means by her saving his life. Because he can't live without Tifa. So, it's obvious why that's not made a bigger deal of in disc one.

He doesn’t tell Aerith who he gave the flower to because it’s none of her goddamn business. She’s a stranger being nosy. He’s got no obligation to tell her what he did with it. If someone you met twice start sticking their nose in your personal business you’d be cagey too. That’s a meaningless moment that certain people cling to because they’re idiots.

Sorry, this got long. Hope it clears a few things up though. I probably missed a few details here and there.

TLDR: Cloud has mental illness and isn’t capable of love due to a fractured psyche, so can’t answer anyone when they ask.

[vivdunye]

present day, present time

and you don't seem to understand

fabled adages of science

so i was watching the snyder cut of justice league the other morning, i couldn't really begin to tell you why other than i needed 4 hours of background noise . but i tuned in at one point when the fictional super Israeli, wonder woman, narrated a scene explaining an alien technology "that was so advanced that it almost seemed like sorcery", and wouldn't yknow, that's a real concept actually, i recognized it immediately as clark's third law:

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

it's perhaps the most well known and oft quoted of the three, but i always felt like arthur c. clark's first 2 laws don't ever get quite enough love . i've been thinking heavily about the first law lately:

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.

i've been thinking about it in relation to this one quote from wernher von braun that i always liked:

Nature does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of our spiritual existence after death.

many people are afraid of death; of ceasing the awareness of life, because they don't know what will happen to themselves after, where do they go if anywhere? it's much more nebulous in the secular sense if you haven't a construct for the afterlife already . i've been thinking about death more and more often lately to a worrying degree . however, scientific thought for all its clinical detachment from all things spiritual has strangely enough always felt like the perfect module for contemplating the metaphysical . so i decided to do some research .

i want to recall right now thomas edison's first intended use for the phonograph . edison had originally envisioned the phonograph primarily as a means of preserving the voices of loved ones after death . he later went on to try and develop a "ghost box" or "spiritphone" . this device would allow humans to communicate directly with the dead . he was unsuccessful .

if hauntology has taught us anything, we technically do have ghost boxes now, but maybe not in the way edison intended or even predicted . we carry them everywhere and can check them anytime, channeling messages through them constantly . we actively become digital ghosts, online we are both present and absent . the present implodes with the past, we've over-documented everything so now we can experience an instant nostalgia . today's future becomes archaic, we live in the archive to try and remember what the future once was .

'haunted' and 'futuristic' become one and the same .

by this token i'm reminded also by transhumanism . as the technological singularity fast approaches, as progress charges forward at a constantly increasing speed, current estimates posit the 2040s as the point in which technological improvements will occur at a constantly self-replicating rate . in the time between now and then, transhumanism and the eventual merging of human consciousness with machinery are theorized outcomes of technological progress . one day we might be able to leave the shackles of our human bodies and transcend our physical forms as a joined digital consciousness .

and in relation to this i also think now of clark's second law

The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.

through the wired

this is the stage on which the anime Serial Experiments Lain is set . a story, that while constructed on the patchwork of fiction, is nevertheless symbolic of certain phenomena based in reality .

also i apologize if it wasn't apparent that this post was going to be about Lain . im lainposting boys

the first few episodes exist to misdirect the viewer right from the beginning . and only by returning to these episodes having thought through the rest of the show, does their purpose become clear . the first episode, aptly titled "Layer 01: Weird" , is meant to show us exactly one thing, that lain is fucking weird . we can't tell what she's thinking, we can't tell what she's doing, and that's exactly how everyone around her feels . lain is totally and completely disconnected, she doesn't keep up with current events at school, she doesn't communicate with her family, near as we can tell she has no actual interests besides her stuffed animals and totally phasing out of reality. the inciting incident of the series happens when someone tries to make a connection with lain, and that person happens to be dead...

or at least there body is dead, their consciousness seems to have escaped into the wired . lain's decision to pursue this connection is what lead's her to ask her father for a new navi (the series' name for a personal computer) and that's all that really happens in this episode . coming back to it from later episodes we know that lain is probably thinking a lot throughout this episode . the decision to not entreat us to any of her thoughts is intentional, it is to make us feel distant from her as viewers, the same way that the world around her is distant . as lain forms connections throughout the series, so too, will we form a connection with her .

we do not know how much time has passed since then and the second episode, but whatever has happened lain has already developed a significant presence in the wired . this episode is tricky in its presentation as it doesn't make us privy to which things lain is lying about and which things she's honest about . in it we have lain talking to someone on her navi, she types sporadically in an encrypted language, and someone who looks just like her appears late one night in a night club downtown . while lain won't admit it to her classmates it's apparent at the end of the episode that it was her at the club all along . the key to understanding her actions throughout the episode is to realize she is trying to keep her existence in the wired and her existence in reality as separate entities . the realization she has by the end of the episode, which she uses to terrify a gunmen into suicide is that there is no escape from the wired, no matter where you are you are always connected .

made in the late-90s, Lain was quite ahead of its time . it predicted not only how in the early 2000s the internet would be regarded as a separate world where anonymity and personas reigned—it also predicted how the internet would eventually and inevitably overlap with the real world, once people in the real world realized that the internet is the real world . people have a tendency to see one part of themselves as their "true selves", whereas the parts they show to others are personas, they think of these things as separate when in reality a person is an amalgamation of all of their personas . lain tries to change her personas by dressing and acting differently from when she's in the wired-mode and in normal-mode, but she doesn't realize how people have been doing this way before the wired existed . her classmates are all 15 but they all pass for adults when they've dolled up and hit the club . if the characters in the show seem a bit young for their attitudes then you may not have met enough tech-savvy teenagers before . the purpose of this episode is to ultimately to prove to lain that the so-called real world and the wired are merely two layers of one reality, which couldn't be more true of the world today .

let there be light300pMTK. .

in mythology, psyche was the mortal princess who fell in love with and, eventually, married the god cupid; in religion and classical philosophy, psyche came to mean the human soul, and in the modern, literate world, it retains that meaning as the human spirit; in freudian analysis, psyche refers to the totality of the human mind: the id, ego and superego .

every meaning of psyche is distinctly human: a human princess who achieves godhood, the soul or mind of an individual . if previous episodes introduced the blurring of the real world with the wired, then episode three; "Layer 03: Psyche" is the episode that starts to blur human identity online and offline . one doesn’t even have to venture into the wired to ask what is human .

by this point we know that lain is definitely up to something . at this stage it's hard to tell what, but all we get are little glimpses into her actions . she still seems to be hiding a lot from the world around her and from the viewer in turn . ironically, lain's blank-faced silence and response to the questions of those around her it's own incrimination . when a police officer tells her to speak up (regarding the gunman's suicide) even if she had nothing to do with it, he doesn't realize she's being silent precisely because she does have something to do with it . but her deer-in-the-headlights persona gets her out of it .

the lain of the wired and the lain of reality are slowly starting to mesh into one whole . it remains difficult to interpret the physical existence of "other lain" so to speak, and the show refuses to outright show her playing that character . at the least, we do get to see lain access the wired in all its chaotic glory and she does begin to take an active interest in expanding her knowledge as she learns about and installs the "Psyche drive", a computer circuit that lain procures in hopes of it enhancing her computer's processing power . on the smaller scale, when lain applies the psyche processor to her navi, she is installing a spirit or soul, an animating element, to her machine . notably, the psyche does not replace the main processor; psyche augments the main processor, interpreting the data that flows through it . the soul is not simply the brain, it is an elevated consciousness or meta-self. by this point in the series lines become blurred and the lains begin to merge (hehe) . all of this is set against the backdrop of lain trying to decide if she should remain in the physical world or fully integrate in the wired . she hears one voice telling her that death feels amazing, and god exists in the wired, that there is nothing left for lain in this world . however, lain begins to establish a connection with her classmate alice, saying her name out loud and commiting it to memory for the first time, alice asks why her friends are not more shaken up after watching someone shoot himself in the head the previous day . it's almost as though lain is clinging to alice as an excuse to stay in the physical world out of fear for changing over . this all sets the seeds for what eventually grows throughout the series .

i want to recall the final meaning of the word “psyche". that the word also meant “butterfly,” which is how the greeks imagined the soul to appear . no doubt the symbolism of a creature that begins as one thing and transforms into another is not lost on us here .

every event serves to emphasize the existence of one's own personal reality, and as individuals from all others, we desire a place to belong . however that too is an egotistical concept . in order for there to be a mutual understanding, it is necessary to recognize here and now, like the brain synapses, we are all—in a logical yet chaotic manner—connected .

each is seperate—yet they are one . by connecting, humanity gains first awareness of its function as a seed . and by connecting a human no longer remains a mere endpoint, a "terminus", but becomes a junction to another point, having won the right to continue itself . in a sense, the ability to connect is the ability to continue . this not only applies to the connection of axial coordinates but temporal coordinates as well . therefore, at the time when a conscious, intentional connection is made, surely the dead will rise from there intended place, appearing at the time coordinate of the connection's origin .

in that moment, the realization will dawn that the time in which we inhabit our physical bodies is but the starting point of the connection, and the very meaning of possessing a physical body might be questioned .

we recognize we are connected .

serialize thyself .

[plounce]

my Concepts for aj2

so these are my thoughts and ideas about the game that would follow aa4 in a timeline where we got a coherent apollo trilogy rather than aa5 and aa6. as such, i am discarding aa5 and aa6′s apollo backstories because i find them incoherent as an arc and only slapped onto him for the plots of the games. etc etc. theorizing on squandered potential is me-bait. trucy and klavier get to have THEIR place in the narrative as important characters!! (sorry athena. you will get your own trilogy with good writing and a better design in this timeline too)

this is very stream of consciousness and while i think it’s fairly coherent it is also not chronologically organized as i build on ideas. i am genuinely sorry if the read more doesn’t work on mobile because this thing is stupid long.

containing:

apollo, trucy, and klavier being a firm Trio and getting character development and growing closer :)

themes about found family, letting yourself love/be loved, performance and persona, love giving you strength to do good, you being the one to determine your identity

exploration of the trio’s backstories and the development of their skills

prosecutor franziska chipping away at the corruption within the legal system

klavier being the assistant for a case

kristoph continuing to be a corrupt bastard

buildup to the sibling reveal & canon klapollo in the conclusion of the trilogy

- apollo is the main character

- phoenix is absent for like the entire game besides maybe a couple tiny flashbacks, later revealed to be working with edgeworth on anti-corruption stuff (which is also tied to kristoph & kristoph’s ties within the legal system, “old boys club” etc)

- trucy is assistant for first half of the game

- klavier is assistant for second half of the game. his hair is in a little bun or ponytail :) no drill hair for THIS individual person

- klavier is prosecutor for trucy assistant cases. in the 3rd case klavier was supposed to prosecute against apollo but things keep getting fishier and fishier and things keep reminding them of kristoph. klavier is ordered off the case from on high. mysterious replacement. klavier is too invested in seeing truth & justice come to light so he helps apollo

- franziska prosecutes cases 3 & 4. she has short hair and it’s super sexy and hot.

- kristoph set things up so that klavier is implicated in things. dig into how klavier and apollo feel unable to escape kristoph’s influence - “he’s too foundational”

- 4th case klavier is on trial. oh maybe 3 isn’t about kristoph but it’s just background stuff about the rampup to the 4th case - klavier is put on probation while things are investigated but he doesn’t know WHY, but he’s still committed to his ideals

- trucy is pursuing her magic career, klavier still loves music - has been releasing solo stuff maybe, just some EPs for free/charity, but isn’t touring. focusing on law

- case 4 has a family friend (NOT A WOMAN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD... A MALE DAMSEL PLEASE) get accidentally poisoned through something klavier gave them. that’s the trial itself. kristoph was the source. klavier is arrested. it’s more complicated that this but it gets to this point. day 2 of the trial is when klavier is implicated and he gets yanked into cuffs from the defense bench

- one of case 4′s pillars is a memory from the gavin brothers’ childhood. discuss how kristoph was as a child. klavier has been realizing how... odd certain things were, and trying to pass it off as like “haha yeah kristoph would dissect dead birds and convince our parents that every mess was my fault. i guess that makes sense considering how he ended up haha? I Don’t Feel Strongly About This I Just Think It’s Funny :)”

- apollo’s perceive abilities expanding to be able to perceive general emotional states as well - along with learning to practice more empathy, being considerate. No Klavier And Trucy, You Are Not Fine. this is kind of like athena’s thing actually huh

- trucy, meanwhile, is learning to be more like. emotionally... independent? no. emotionally... self-caring. both independent in that she’s a young adult and also caring in that she is trying not to force herself to take care of everyone all the time and show her less pretty emotions to apollo. take care of herself

- case 1 has to do with something happening at trucy’s show/her career/her school etc. she’s still a real person etc. trucy’s friends mostly being adults, her feeling isolated at school. nah wait this is a slightly absurd world she’s not overly weird for her classmates necessarily. yeah ok it’s about magic

- case 2 has to do with klavier being a rockstar, the pressure of celebrity and public fascination with his persona. stalker fans, music industry, talk shows, etc. someone trying to convince him to come back to music. klavier has to arrest someone he’s fond of again. no big stadium performance in this game

- the trio all dealing with themes of hiding and trying not to feel “bad” emotions: apollo going “im fine” and suppressing his problems & just trying to do his job so he can cope with how overwhelmed & stressed he feels constantly etc etc + trucy hiding the secrets of her magic which is sort of representative of her hiding a lot of her sad/”ugly” feelings because she thinks she needs to because she thinks phoenix depends on her being cheerful all the time + klavier dealing with having a public persona and the pressures of being Himself, trying to be the person others see him as/want him to be, who is klavier when he is not performing? who are all of them when they are not performing? who are they performing for?

- yes i am a “woman” yes i am obsessed with the idea of performance

- trio all dealing with/feeling lonely wrt family: apollo learning more about jove (possibly during the music industry case - someone knew his dad, who refused a big contract), who he was & one of the cases involving someone from his past in the foster system - maybe it’s even clay! - but in general feeling very disconnected from “family” in general esp compared to trucy&klavier’s family troubles being so immediate and raw for them + trucy feeling lonely and kind of abandoned as phoenix is increasingly gone in this game and seeming very distant from her, similar to how zak abandoned her, and also the pains of growing up + klavier’s parents either are dead or are somewhat estranged after he got kristoph imprisoned, klavier feeling very lonely in general after his pursuit of truth&justice has snipped many of his connections from him

- yes i am gay yes i am obsessed with found family

- franziska having a moment of “i get how it is and it sucks” with klavier about Complicated Feelings About Family

- she eventually does realize during case 4 that klavier is guilty but has to hide it in order to push one of kristoph’s allies out into the open. sorry kid uh... what do you like. i will buy you. an ice cream? or something. look do you want a gift card i’ll buy you a gift card

- kristoph’s lawyer shows up near the start of the game to give things to apollo which he is deeply suspicious of but ema tests them and they come up clean. guy shows up here and there throughout the game. maybe tries to bribe apollo or something. apollo gets invited to a Fancy Lunch because he’s the one that bested kristoph gavin and that shows Promise. in a sense. or something. apollo being manipulated by people who refused to hire him when he got kristoph convicted etc

- themes about being young in a world full of secrets and webs of alliance that you feel barred from because you have ideals and won’t compromise them and also either come from nothing or burned all your bridges. just aa protag things <3

- oh maybe there’s a new judge who is also In On Nefarious Plots

- catching these people doesn’t fix everything but - it’s something. they got a couple shitheads

- trucy continues developing her gramarye abilities. more emotional depth. more exploration on complex feelings wrt phoenix and her childhood and her adolescence and how she’s fairly well-adjusted as one can be but also... the shit still hits yk... she’s like 16 years old so she’s maturing

- ema is there. she and apollo get along a bit better. asks after phoenix. provides evidence against klavier, and then evidence for.

- followup on apollo-edgeworth klavier-phoenix parallels - who is the one bringing them further into the light, chaser/chased, the one who wants more/the one who pushes away, etc etc

- follow through on implied gramarye mafia connections

- klavier isn’t super in the first case besides the courtroom and maybe one appearance, but he is like. worried about trucy if there is cause to be worried about her. set up their dynamic beyond trucy just liking the gavinners

- trucy&apollo and klavier&kristoph compares&contrast

- franziska is(/appears to be) very doubting/dismissive of apollo’s belief in klavier bc it’s like... are you pursuing the truth? or trying to shield your friend?

- apollo does end up almost very close believing klavier was in kahoots with kristoph/kristoph’s friends because it just looks. really bad. like it genuinely looks VERY BAD. and he’s like “i have to find truth like prosecutor von karma said”. yknow how with a lot of aa cases it starts out “oh no it looks open and shut” and then is like “NO WAY THEY COULD HAVE DONE IT... BUT HUH”. this one is reverse. and then straightens back out again. dig the hole then climb back out

- yeah the theme is like. “are you trying to find truth or do you want to protect your loved ones. what is your duty as a person, your job or your loved ones.” this carries through on klavier’s thread from aa4 where he has to work against his loved ones. meanwhile apollo, who is a bit more cool-tempered irritable grump, is the one going “oh god, am i biased towards my friends?” so it sort of flips. what kind of stories will you weave to clear your friends of blame? kristoph’s boys club.

- echo back to “evidence is everything” - this line of thinking (in a certain way) is what saves klavier when kristoph is trying to punish him for his betrayal

- since phoenix is away, the gramarye siblings aren’t revealed yet. but more info is dropped to compensate - stuff about jove and apollo’s childhood in the foster system and how that’s shaped him into someone who keeps people at arm’s length to keep himself safe; trucy and apollo getting closer despite that, trucy busting down those barriers because she needs his support and he’s like “oh my god i have to support her.” older sibling stuff.

- maybe the trucy case involves like. a mafia guy trying to collect on debts or smth and tries to ruin trucy, and threatens apollo. there’s a hint that is very obvious to the audience but is like “wow apollo he thought you were my brother!” like the mafia guy calls apollo “the other child” and apollo is like “hey, i’m 24!” which is humorous but also the audience is like Oh My God I Know What That Means

- there isn’t a deliberate withholding of information from phoenix - he literally is not there to withhold it. but there is still tension and stakes and weight to their relation - apollo keenly feeling his absence of family and trucy feeling sort of abandoned by phoenix

- phoenix is like “ok trucy you’re almost an adult so i’m trusting you to stay safe and responsible while i’m away. apollo will technically be in charge but i’m still trusting you” and privately to apollo is like “If Anything Bad Happens To Her. Your Head Is On The Line.” so it is just them making it on their own

- klavier drops the line “watching you two is like what kristoph and i should have had” and then there’s a couple “...” dialogue boxes as the audience is like I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS and then apollo is like “... are you for real comparing me to kristoph.” haha funny but also THERE IT IS

- very carefully walked tightrope. acknowledged enough that there is still tension/suspense around it but not too much as to be slightly infuriating

- before the last case trucy gets mad at apollo for something - trucy is allowed by the narrative to be angry for real. stand up for herself. trucy and apollo come back together to defend klavier. they see each other in the detention center when theyre still mad at each other - trucy was visiting klavier (he wasn’t there for the fight). “you made fraulein trucy very mad, hm?” then during the trial trucy busts in dramatically with important help when things look very bad for klavier

- aj3 has emotional revelations/high points of the trio - siblings reveal and klapollo canon. aj2 is a lot of building of these connections and building suspense and tension. more more more of these relationships before they emerge fully formed in aj3

- the last trial echoes the “im the only one who can save prosecutor gavin” or whatever gay thing apollo says in the last trial of aa4 because he literally is. just a lot of hinting and them getting along. case 3 is very important because that’s when it’s just them and it’s “oh! we work well together! we’re complementary!”

- implement the dual investigation mechanic from dgs so it does feel collaborative

- just build on the fact that klavier is the first friendly, helpful, cooperative prosecutor. he wants to help you. make that a very positive, very important feeling while still making it extremely enjoyable

- resolves in “you can have truth AND the ones you love”. or smth like that but more nuanced. it’s very inspirational and sentimental etc

- you get to meet vongole and it’s a Pet The Dog moment for klavier. look! how nice he is. he truly loves this insanely sweet and lovable dog. trucy is enamored with vongole as well. “it’s strange that she was kristoph’s dog, hm? with how affectionate she is.” “well, i guess being owned by kristoph doesn’t means she’s an equally bad dog ... ER i mean--” “hm, you always struck me as a cat person, herr forehead?” “uh - well yeah, you’re right. but... that doesn’t mean i don’t think vongole is a pretty great dog.” IMPLICATIONS. SUBTEXT. TASTE IT IN THE AIR

- oh there’s definitely a moment in case 2 when you get to examine klavier’s apartment and you can look at a couple albums and for a gavinners album apollo is like “ugh” but then you get one of his solo eps and apollo is like “trucy made me listen to this. it... was okay. not as bad as the gavinners stuff. sounds more honest. or something like that.”

- oh also when you examine the guitar klavier offers to teach apollo some basics. hee hee (BUT ALSO... JOVE!!)

- maybe for case 2 The Industry Suits want klavier to stop releasing his eps for free/total charity so it’s a whole coordinated scheme. his manager, a devoted fan who hates to see him going his own way and being happier for it, etc. “we want you to be the person you were. the one we could possess.” be more like gavinners klavier instead of honest relaxed current klavier. be who we want you to be so we can make you dance like a puppet. music industry kristoph parallels.

- “i’m sick and tired of being a plaything for other people!” >:( face moments

- a fan broke into his house and defaced the solo stuff etc. >:( face.

- who determines who “you” are? what role do your loved ones have in your life? those who truly love you can save you and make you better. loving and being loved sincerely and genuinely and truly have positive effects on your life. letting people love you and letting yourself love them is good.

- ugh but this kind of contrasts with the “the old boys club is controlling and using/shaping the institution of law to amass wealth and power for themselves while throwing others under the bus.” well actually wait

- lunch with apollo = they don’t actually care about each other, would throw each other under the bus for their own benefit

- contrast between sacrificing the weak to protect the strong and protecting the weak to depower the evil strong

- love and bonds can motivate/enable you to chip away at the system and can help you make a difference. les mis etc etc etc

- the old boys club are all putting up fronts of appearing strong and tough and above everything and in control. real love and friendship let you show vulnerability and weakness and help you & your bond come out stronger for it. (tumblr voice) the mortifying ordeal

- additional stakes of “if you are found aiding this criminal and hiding evidence etc etc we will disbar you” or smth. stakes for sticking with klavier, for winning the trial, for demonstrating care. franziska is kind of like “... apologies. but you had nothing to worry about so don’t worry about it.” 

- klavier and apollo damned by association with kristoph, especially as a kristoph scheme was just found to happen, and it depended on kristoph being in jail, so maybe they were the ones to enable that part of the plan... it’s a long con...

- it feels like there should be another legal reform here to make aa4′s jury implementation but maybe this one is more about how reform is often very gradual and like chipping away at a mountain

- in aj3 the death penalty gets reformed. (tension there about kristoph being on death row and this game piles on a lot more GOD KRISTOPH SUCKS but then it’s like. no. we have to fight for True Justice and the legal system is extremely imperfect (how many of our clients narrowly avoided a wrongful guilty verdict!) so we have to prioritize protection over punishment)

- “it’s like chopping heads off the hydra. it feels like we’ll never actually change anything.” “yes, but hercules didn’t defeat it by himself. he had a partner that burned the stumps after he sliced off the heads. ... one person to hold the sword, one person to hold the torch.” NARUMITSU KLAPOLLO PARALLELS. HI

- okay i had some really good discussions on twitter w @henriettamarias about this and here’s a couple more things

- trucy’s case involves her inheriting the gramarye secrets and the legacy. the weight of tradition and the burden of what has happened in her family. trucy’s estranged grandmother shows up - it’s kind of similar to the feys kind of. the grandmother is a complex maternal figure who doesn’t know trucy and trucy doesn’t know her and it’s sort of the idea of... even if your “new” family is related by blood, you still have to choose them. and trucy’s like !!! because she’s openhearted but the grandmother disappears - doesn’t choose trucy. it’s not a Villainous Action it’s just... it’s complicated. maybe it’s to protect trucy or something. it wasn’t done to hurt trucy is what i’m getting at, but it still hurts

- one of the music industry people in klavier’s case is a gavin uncle/aunt/cousin who is pressuring him to go back to being an Extremely Profitable Rockstar. and klavier has to deal with more disappointment from a family that values extreme success and is sort of cold (this contrasts with the warmth of the WAA found family). they liked klavier when he was very successful and famous on two fronts but now he’s opened the door and invited in shame on their family’s name so everyone’s kind of mad at him. trucy and apollo get to be really defensive of him

- apollo’s case is one i’m still thinking on what it’ll be about because i’m deeply uninterested in his aa5+aa6 backstories but there’s not A Concept to go deeper into like trucy magic and klavier music... it does involve his past from being the foster system. i think maybe there’s a teen who he was kind of the older brother of for a while before the kid got adopted who contacts him for help defending himself.

- while trucy and klavier’s stories are about rejection from their blood family, apollo’s is about warmth with a boy who he met and made a familial bond with

- at the end of this case there’s some piece of evidence that mentions kristoph and this is never resolved within that case but it sort of leads into the next kristoph-focused case

- trucy doesn’t get angry at apollo over being like jealous there’s something else that happens in this case... it doesn’t end super satisfyingly and tidily wrapped up in a neat bow. there are a lot of lingering questions and it makes everyone uneasy

- in case 3 apollo gets injured and is feeling really defensive and kind of scared and trucy is upset with him for putting himself in harm’s way to save her and they have a fight and they’re both kind of hiding their true feelings with anger to cover up how scared they were (gramarye secrets) and it just. boils over. klavier tries to mediate but it’s... a lot. they both say some things they don’t mean. :(

- oh my god. the person who got poisoned in case 4 was apollo’s foster brother from case 3. and it HURTS because we’ve spent a whole case getting to know him and working so hard to save him from a guilty verdict and it’s like :D yay he’s ok! and then he just. dies. and it’s so fucking sad

- he got poisoned because kristoph looked through papers and found that him and apollo were close so he’s like “oh i can use that ^_^” because he’s a bastard. but klavier was the one in constant contact with him recently so it’s like UH OH! UH OH! plus other aa level complications etc

- the tightrope of trucy being mad at apollo and the tragedy of apollo’s foster brother dying is one that will have to be very carefully walked bc we don’t want trucy to look like an asshole because above all she does love apollo

- i guess it’s also apollo pushing her away because I’M FINE. STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME CONFRONT MY TRAUMA. IF I THINK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS I WILL GO INSANE. yeah that works

- OH and also she’s mad at him for not telling them about the lunch with kristoph’s lawyer friends. klavier is kind of mad about that too so apollo is like STOP GANGING UP ON ME

- so the setup of case 4 is: day 1: apollo and klavier investigating, in court klavier is implicated and is put in detention, day 2: apollo investigating by himself and missing his friends :(, franziska being like “where is your sister” and apollo being like “ok first she’s not my sister. second IM FINE I CAN BE ALONE, I CAN’T TRUST ANYBODY ANYWAY” and franziska is like “... yeah being betrayed sucks, i get it, but like. are you sure about that. fine whatever you idiot be a fool”, but then in court trucy busts in at a dramatic moment and narrowly saves klavier from getting a guilty verdict, day 3: trucy and apollo investigating and Saving The Day!!!!!

- for franziska in case 4 there’s this tension between her belief that klavier is guilty (because shit looks BAD and also kristoph sort of sent shockwaves through things etc) and franziska being older (she has short hair and it’s hot) and more emotionally mature and being like “baby lawyer. it’s okay to chill. it’s fine. you’ll be okay”. but also being extremely wary and hating the corruption and collusion within the law community because MvF dealt with a lot of that and she will be BETTER than that, she has to work hard to erase the harm that her father did. she’s kind of a superhero in terms of tackling a lot of corrupt-lawyer/cop cases - it’s her specialty now. god she is hot

- aw in case 4 ema is like. kind of reluctant to help implicate klavier. because while she thinks he’s annoying she doesn’t think he’s a bad guy. she feels really conflicted :( like she blusters to cover it up but she does say to apollo at one point “hey... you better do your job right. don’t slack. defend your client.” awww she care him

- kristoph gets brought out from prison as a witness in case 4. this really negatively affects klavier (and apollo too kind of but less so), but the strength of Found Family helps him be strong :) yay

- there’s mention made of kristoph having Secrets, but since apollo doesn’t have a magatama and phoenix isn’t there, the black psyche-locks aren’t explored. it gets revealed in aj3

- apollo does have a conundrum similar to the aa5 stuff where his perceive ability is going haywire at klavier’s entire emotional state because BOY is it screwy (suppressed memories from childhood??) so he just has to rely on plain old logic

- (cw animal death) god what if one of those childhood memories is kristoph poisoning klavier’s pet - experimenting, doing trials. klavier realizes that during the trial. jesus christ. evil bastard kristoph i hate his guts. at least klavier gets to go home and pet vongole so so much

- OH on a happier note we get to meet mikeko... mikeko loves trucy and klavier so much. it’s like a big gooey hint that LOOK APOLLO LOVES THESE PEOPLE - HIS CAT IS PURRING AND CUDDLING ALL OVER THEM :) Express Your Feelings, Apollo

- i think for aj3 it’s apollo & co having their own schemes and plans sort of. bc in this setup, klavier and apollo (and trucy too) are being yanked around by the machinations and plots of the older generation like in aa4. i think in aj3 is when they finally get a leg up and have control over things for once. good for them! good for them

- oh also in aj3, it’s revealed that thalassa has been held hostage by some bad guys, which is why she didn’t come back after some time away to figure herself out to tell them. and then apollo and trucy get to know they’re siblings :)

- okay that’s it. maybe i’ll add more if i think of more. hope u enjoyed :~)

[loser-writings]

Tristful ||Angst || Dabi x reader

Reader: Gender Neutral

Character: Dabi x Reader (Romantic) Toga x Reader (platonic) LoV x Reader (platonic)

Warnings: Death, mention of self harm, possible OOC characters, Platonic affection between an adult and a minor. 

Summary: The league of Villains remember you a year after your death, and two are still dealing with the pain of you being gone.

A/N: I don’t know why Dabi is the one getting the attention, but he is. Welcome to the first true angst that was written at 4:30AM after some serious crying.

3/15. One of the worst days for the League of Villains. Toga would be crying all day, Magne would be doing her best to help comfort Toga, Shigaraki would be a bit more irritable, and Dabi would be completely absent. Shigaraki had managed to find Dabi though after hearing a voice that he didn’t think he would hear ever again. 

“Hey baby! I know you might think this is stupid since yknow, I’m working and Boss would kill me if he saw me on my phone, but I wanted to let you know that I’ll be coming home a bit later tonight.”

Shigaraki had remembered you. How you managed to befriend everybody in the league with your natural charisma as well as your singing that filled the halls. Sure, he may have scolded you for it before, but he didn’t mean it. It was like you both knew that deep down, so you never stopped singing. His heart ached a little as he listened again once your voice picked up again.

“They’re on your tail too by the way. I’d stay indoors for a while and let me handle everything that involves going in public. I don’t think I could handle having you taken from me.” 

Then you laughed. The same laugh that you did when you were stressed, but trying to hide it. It was obvious that under your happy persona you put on for your hero work, you were deeply troubled. Some nights ended up with you breaking down to different members of the league, but the main two that helped you through it all was Dabi and Toga. Thanks to you, the two found comfort in each other when you were gone. 

“Anyway, I’ll let you go darling. Be as good as you can be. At least until I get home-” “Hey! Get back to work!” “S-Sorry sir! Calling my roommate to make sure that I didn’t leave the oven on.” 

The voice of the eldest Todoroki boomed through the speakers before it cut off, a sigh coming from Dabi before the creek of the bed. Shigaraki could only guess what the other was thinking, so he just knocked to alert the other before walking in. He was met with Dabi laying on his back, staring at the ceiling blankly. 

“You okay?”

“Want an honest answer or the one you want to hear?” 

Shigaraki scoffed and rolled his eyes before moving to stand by the bed. “You’re of no good use to me when you’re all mopey like this. Kinda depressing honestly.” He snapped while the other promptly flipped him off. Shigaraki smiled a little before sitting on the edge of the bed. “They would hate to see you like this.-” “Yeah and I sure fucking hate not having them here to yell at me for it.” Dabi huffed and rubbed at his eyes before sitting back up. “Believe it or not, but I miss them too. I miss our bickering and how they would sing at ungodly hours. I miss how they would play fight in the bar with Toga. I miss their contagious laughter, but all we can do now is continue for our goal. A world where Heroes get what they deserve when they harm the innocent. A world where people like us don’t have to worry. A world where-” “A world where innocent people don’t get murdered and then the murderer is praised for it.” Dabi sighed and moved to run his hands through his hair. “Exactly. A world where Endeavor gets what he deserved. He found out, and he didn’t hold back.” 

They both remembered that day. They remembered seeing it on the news in Kurogiris’ bar that Endeavor had found another member of the League of Villains. Not really a big deal since they assumed it was just another pawn, but when they disclosed your name, quirk, and status, they were all in shock. They framed you to be a traitor, the bad person when in reality, you were the most “Normal” one out of everybody. You had no Ill intentions when you gave them the information they wanted, yet they praised Endeavor for “Subduing the threat.” Little did they all know, you wouldn’t wake up from the coma he put you in. In their mind, they murdered you. 

The worst part was that they couldn’t really get in to see you. Sure, Kurogiri would sneak them in to see you for short periods, but they were no longer than 5 minutes due to the risk of somebody walking into the room. Toga managed to go in one day during visiting hours, holding your hand and talking to you until visiting hours ended. Nobody would've believed that it was the bloodthirsty girl from her appearance alone since her blonde hair was down, her eyes were bloodshot and red from crying, and her normally loud voice was barely a whisper. When the doctors asked her about your relationship with her, she just smiled a little, wiped her tears, and said you were their best friend. She left you a few gifts and kissed your forehead before blinking away tears as she thanked the nurses for doing their best as she left the room. When she got back to the hideout, she just locked herself in her room and didn’t respond to anybody. It wasn’t the first true loss in her life, but it was the most painful. Her cries and screams for you didn’t fall on deaf ears either since it wasn’t an unfamiliar sight for somebody to walk through with wet eyes.

The day you were announced dead had to be one of the most depressing. Details of your funeral that was being held for anybody to attend flashed on the television before going back to what was playing originally. Despite the day being grey and rainy, everyone in the league went to see you one last time and wish you goodbye. When they saw your plain casket, Twice made a comment about how you deserved better before snapping about how it was lame as hell. Nobody minded though since they knew he couldn’t help it. Toga wiped her tears as they approached the casket before sighing softly. She clutched the stuffed bear you had given her tight in her hands before choking back a sob. This was unfair. Why did everybody she love get taken away from her? Her hand softly rest on the wood before choking back another sob. She wanted to hold you again. She wanted to hug you again and have you tell her that everything would be okay, but the hand of Magne broke her out of her delusions as she broke down in tears again, falling to the ground and screaming out in pain. Magne was quick to hug her to her chest, trying to comfort the young girl the best she could despite her own tears. 

Shigaraki did feel a bit numb to the situation, but he had been finding his mind wondering to you as time went on. Now that your casket was in front of him, he couldn’t help but find himself missing you a little more. One by one, everybody left their gifts for you before going back to the hideout to grieve in private. By the end, the only ones left were Dabi, Shigaraki, and Kurogiri. None of them spoke, just standing in the rain until Dabi broke the silence. “Come back for me in five. I need time alone with them.” The two agreed before leaving Dabi alone with only your casket and his thoughts. 

He moved to sit in front of the wooden box for a minute before he just choked out a chuckle, covering his eyes as he found them watering. “Why?” He asked out loud before shaking his head again. “Why the FUCK must he take everything from me?” Dabi asked out loud as he felt the rage wash over him. He already hated Endeavor for everything he had done in his past, but now he took you too. He quickly wiped away the tears before he grabbed his hair, tugging on it softly to mimic how you would rake your hands through his hair to calm him from his nightmares. “I thought you said you wanted to figure shit out? That we would make it past all of this and that neither one of us would leave? You fucking coward, You broke that goddamn promise!” He didn’t mean it, but he knew he was speaking to the world more than anything else. “Goddamn it...We were supposed to make it to the end…” He leaned back in his chair before looking at the casket again. “You got my fucking hopes up...for a future I don’t deserve.” he sighed and shook his head again. “And you didn’t deserve this either.” He wiped off the scarred burns under his eyes, the staples burning a bit from the tears but it was oddly comforting. After sitting for a moment, he heard Kurogiri behind him again. He simply sighed before standing to pull out the velvet box from his pocket. “Wherever you are, I hope you’re not hurting anymore.” he sat the box down on the lap of Togas bear, staring at it for a moment before sighing. “Maybe one day...we can be normal. Have a family together...like we promised.” he said before placing his hand on the wood just as Toga did before. “I’ll watch her too...So don’t worry.” He moved to kiss the top of the box before pulling away. “I love you doll...I think I always will.” he chuckled sadly and started walking away, sighing as he walked through the portal with Kurogiri following after. 

The next few weeks were hard. Dabi had kept his promise to you and kept an eye on Toga, finding her passed out one day after she had a large fit which resulted in her hurting herself with her knives. Luckily they had a spare medkit and you had taught him how to do basic first aid. Slowly, Shigaraki had managed to create a new task for the league and everybody slowly got back on their feet. It was what you would have wanted anyway. Yet at your one year death date, here everyone was all gloomy. 

Dabi sighed once more before looking at his phone, speaking to Shigaraki once more. “I have a ton of voice mails from them saved. I have all of our texts. I have videos and pictures of them. Sometimes, it just feels like they were here yesterday.” He sighed as the other man just nodded. “Yeah...I still find myself thinking of them. It’s not the same, but one day it’ll all be worth it.” Dabi slowly nodded before another soft knock was at the door, the blonde slowly walking in before noticing Shigaraki already inside. “Oh...Sorry for barging in. I uh...Just was going to ask to steal one of their shirts for the night and maybe ask for you to just...Hold me for a bit.” She sighed and shook her head, rubbing at her puffy eyes. Dabi slowly got up and nodded, walking to the closet to pick out your favorite large shirt before tossing it to Toga. She took it and smiled a little at the memories. “Uh...Thanks. I’ll come back when you’re done talking.” She said as she smiled a little at them. Shigaraki sighed and stood. “Nah, I think we are done. You both need to rest anyway. Recover as much as you can and remember, this is motivation.” Dabi rolled his eyes before sighing. “Sure, now leave us alone you fucking raisin.” Toga couldn’t help but chuckle at Dabi’s retort as Shigaraki rolled his eyes. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He waved before leaving the room. Toga sighed and tossed off her shirt, knowing Dabi didn’t care since he saw her as more of a sister than anything else, before pulling on your shirt. 

“Do you think that we could leave flowers on their grave tomorrow? I wanna talk to them and catch them up to speed since we haven’t talked in over a year.” Toga spoke before moving to lay in Dabi’s bed as the other stripped off his jacket. “Sure, we can do that. I bet they’ll appreciate it.” She hummed as Dabi laid next to her before she curled up against his chest, sighing at his warmth before hugging him a bit tighter. His hand played with her blonde locks before he yawned, moving to kiss her head softly. “You know they loved you right?” Toga asked which only got a chuckle from Dabi. “Yeah. Y’know that we had plans to adopt you after we won against the heroes?” Her eyes shot open and she sat up a little. “Really?!” He simply nodded and pulled her back down. “We thought you would want a family that cared. So they brought up adoption, and I agreed.” Toga felt her eyes water before she moved to snuggle in his chest again. “I would’ve loved that…” She sniffled before hugging him tighter. “I wouldn’t have been able to ask for a better family…” Dabi simply sighed and went back to playing with her hair. “Well...I’ll still adopt you when this is all over. Just give it some time?” She nodded and felt herself growing sleepy. “Okay…” He hummed and continued to pet her, watching as she slowly fell asleep snuggling into his chest. 

He couldn’t help but shut his eyes and sigh. When he met this brat, she was just some girl who was crazy, yet now he was holding her and speaking of adoption. You would’ve adored seeing how close the two had gotten and how they trusted each other. For a moment, he felt like you were watching from wherever, smiling at the sight and praising him. He could almost hear it as he pulled Toga closer, holding her protectively. “It’ll all be okay…” He reassured the sleeping girl. “We got this...We will make it through for them.”

[purple-saladleaves]

☀️🌊 for Ffoirre?

thanks for the ask! :D I'm definitely not using this to procrastinate my last minute chemistry revision haha no wayyyy

☀️ How well does your OC take care of themself? Do they tend to put others before their own wellbeing and if so how often? What is their favourite way to pamper themself?

I think Ffoirre takes care of himself pretty well. he's not hesitant about getting in a fight, and he's not really fussy about his appearance, but he makes sure he doesn't put himself in too much danger and that he's healthy. it's mostly pragmatic, but part of it is out of spite -- there's a lot of people who'd be pretty happy if Ffoirre wasn't around (either because he got killed or badly injured/sick). why should he give them that satisfaction?

he definitely tries to put others before himself, but it does not come naturally to him at all. Ffoirre joined the Court when he was really young, so he grew up in this environment where caring was a liability, where people would be just as likely to accept help as they would to stab you in the back. he's very aware of how people view him too, so he tries to be less self-centred if he can when he's around others.

I'm not sure if it would be considered pampering himself exactly, but when he gets sick of being around other people Ffoirre likes to go off somewhere quiet and play with fern hounds. he's always been a big dog lover (the way the nightmare hounds were treated really upset him when he was still with the Court), and those adorable leafy babies really help take his mind off things.

🌊 What does your OC do on their days off from working, school or whatever else it is they may do? Do they enjoy relaxing, shopping, hanging out with friends? What is a normal day like for them?

a while after leaving the Court, Ffoirre decided to join the Pact to try and make up for all the harm he caused. so a normal day for him is out on a Pact mission, although he's never given anything even vaguely like a leadership role. (he gets why they don't trust him, but being basically a hired sword gets boring fast.)

sometimes though, he gets assigned a mission with Efalynn, which he basically considers a day off. the two of them are probably each other's best friend, even if they don't get to meet very often. for Ffoirre, it's a relief to be around someone who trusts him. for Efalynn, she appreciates the chance to stop acting the Perfect Tough Commander persona because he Gets It, yknow? how difficult it is to be constantly fighting? they clash every now and then, since his cynicism and her idealism don't mix too well, but usually they like having the alternate viewpoint to inspire them or ground them.

very rarely, they get to meet up off the job, and usually the two of them go for a drink somewhere. they're both very well traveled, but Efalynn has a knack for finding good inns and rest stops (although Ffoirre doesn't trust her food recommendations. we all know what kind of stuff our Commanders are willing to eat cough toxic meat cough.) they tend to stay away from places with a lot of sylvari; Efy doesn't like being reminded that she's Soundless and Ffoirre was a fairly well known Courtier, so it's a Bad Time for both of them. Ffoirre never says it, he's not the type to speak plainly, but he lives for the days where he can visit somewhere new with the person he cares for most.