#but like... i feel like a human person
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What if I just took a total left-turn from wine aunt to weed aunt?
#would you guys still like me be honest?#no but seriously haven't had a drink in a week and ive just been coming home#going on a run and then taking an edible and I'm sleeping fine no nightmares no fucked up sleep walking or whatever#and then i wake up without a hangover at a normal time of the morning naturally and of my own accord#it's magical#I'm not going full teatotal or anything - you can pry my summer weekend outside beer from my cold dead hands -#but like... i feel like a human person#still a self medicating human person obviously but still
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thinking about the way simon leans into you for a kiss like this— he curls his hand around your throat, and he doesn’t really tug or tighten it, instead uses his hold as a leverage to push himself close to you, like he is sucked into your gravitational force, always orbiting. always tethered.
he doesn’t know how it is to not be with you.
and this kiss, just one of many, shows the attraction he always succumbs to. he holds onto you like the way one would clap their hands around a glittering firefly, snuffing its way out to force it to sparkle only for themselves, and folds himself close like he is about to whisper a wish.
the kiss becomes a prayer; it is his offering to you.
and when he pulls back, you see the way your lips had burned him, leaving him all pinked cheeks and twitching nose. you feel breathless at the weight of his adoration, his reverence, because simon looks at you like you are worth more than the flesh that holds you up.
you swallow, throat bobbing, and simon’s fingers twitch on your skin. his hand around your throat feels like an anchor but you watch the way he still sinks into you.
#simon ghost riley x reader#i dont usually like those -holds their neck to kiss them- bc they tend to always tug the person being ‘choked’#but the vision that simon just grasps you there to feel your humanity before pitching forward to you -not tugging you to him- makes me#breathless w need. its a visceral vision; i so want him to do this to me#suns
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need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#blood tw#ruporas art#love u when i get to cuddle u and love u when i get to feel ur blood soak into my hands#being this close to one another means the eternal suffering of trying to separate love and mission. love for one and love for humanity#i like to think of pre-vol8 vash as someone who struggles with his feelings for ww bc as equal and as trusted he is -#vash knows his responsibilities and he knows/expects ww wouldn't let him stray from it either. for that he can't take to any romantic incli#and i think itd make him view ww in a stricter non-personal way... If that makes ANY sense.#for ww - take someone who youv gotten close to and ended up liking more than you expected#someone who has a belief and follows it stubbornly - someone who'll get into more fights and trouble more than youv had your entire life#ww thinks of him as a monster but he knows theres a limit he himself can take - i feel like hes considered what might be the limit for vash#for Safety measures. just in case. yknow. whenever he himself might have to load the bullet < him hyping himself up as if he could do it#my point being that the thought of vash being dead crosses his mind more than he'd like. i think its a simultaneous dread drop in his stoma#for failure of the mission - but also an Ok? They can be killed? and also a disastrous gunning of his own heart. considering how much they#both live in their own heads some days are Just the worst ever for them in each others company. but also they lov each other :[ sooo much
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the machine.
a comic about being a 'creator' online.
creative notes:
#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful#just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022#which was a rough year personally and creatively#and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore#and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way#its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art#and like thats all you are to people#theres nothing human to you#it can be a bit of a pit#and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling#this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art#going outside for dinner#maybe walking around#its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily#youre a human being#not a mindless content creation machine#and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work#good luck to all of you#and thank you for reading#comic art#its 10pm#stillindigo art
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anyway literally everyone is going through something all the time!!! everyone is wounded!!! everyone is human & no one makes it out of this life unscathed!! maybe try approaching people in good faith instead of always defaulting to the worst possible interpretations of each other
#the way people will pounce at the opportunity to unload on someone the second they have perceived A Wrongdoing#and then justify that with trauma like. i have been Traumatized so therefore i am allowed to make this other person feel like shit#never mind that life is not a binary set of right and wrong choices/beliefs and you are never going to agree with someone 100% of the time#and that disagreement ≠ the other person being a terrible human being. please god allow for some nuance and grace#stop putting people on pedestals stop with the unproblematic king/queen culture stop reducing other people to the image of them in your head
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Blacked out in front of my tablet and woke up with sketches of my Touchstarved mc + Kuras my beloved. woops
#I found out dr. kuras is 6'6 I said hold on lemme get a stool so I can climb this man#touchstarved#touchstarved game#touchstarved kuras#kuras#sleepyscribble#oc.emma#my mc is meant to be a self insert but also like. I wanted to come up w a design and character arc and everything jkvkvk#so I ended up basing her on my personality/looks but taking her into a direction that would fit the game#she's like. me but 'characterized' and a bit exaggerated for the sake of being a character yk#the way she turned out is that she's basically a friendly happy go lucky mage who laughs at her own misery but hides#a deep layer of self loathing underneath all that bc of her curse#having been cursed all her life she believes she's a monster and the sunny personality is a way for her to 'make up for it'#but at the same time she feels like a farse. like she's only luring ppl in to an inevitable demise#and she thinks she's selfish bc despite knowing the danger she poses she still goes out there and puts herself among ppl#bc she craves human connection. even tho she feels guilty for 'indulging' in it#anyway I love the cursed mc concept in this game <3 it's been really interesting to think abt how that would affect someone#also I kept her physical features looking pretty much like mine#bc I wanted to draw myself in a cute way. teehee#but the clothing I was basically thinking like. early game simple clothing that she didn't rlly pick for herself#and maybe later I can have an updated design w something she would actually pick for herself
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yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper
#LITERALLY STILL IN SHAMBLES OVER 109 THIS IS HOW IM COPING#thinking abt how much harder teen skk hits bc that's when chuuya started using corruption and they had to learn to trust each other#like with their lives.#not ''hey dazai i'm lending you five bucks so you can get me a coke from the vending machine i trust you'll give me the change''#although i'm sure that's happened and dazai runs off with the change despite being explicitly told not to bc he's an ass#anyway despite not having mutual understanding or even sympathy for the other person they entrusted their lives to each other#also the fact that chuuya isn't likely human but so desperately wants to be and dazai is the tether to his humanity#likewise how dazai was so traumatized to the point where he couldn't feel human#but meeting chuuya made him think living was worth a shot#the parallels are paralleling#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.
#No Dev in this lineup simply bcs I cannot imagine him wearing anything but his cannon outfit#he has no sense of fashion or personal identity to pull an outfit from LOL#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#dale dimmadome#fop peri#fop cosmo#fop wanda#redesigns#outfit redesign#art#digital art#fanart#Im not gonna be using Dale or Peris redesigns bcs those arent things I see them wearing regularly they were more just fun explorations#Hazel Cosmo and Wanda im def using tho#I know I didnt change Wanda much but#I have a small but insane pet peeve where I cannot stand a characters pants and shirt being the same color.#So I made Hazels sweater more purple and changed her pants to a different and darker blue#Gave cosmo a more relaxed dad vibe while keeping it a button up#Wandas mostly the same I just mostly used her human outfit and changed her sneakers to boots#Peri has less visible fairy features than his parents because hes more insistent about hiding them#Also if Peri looks uncomfortable in his outfit it is because he is ♥#I wrote like an entire paragraph about Peris relationship with gender identity and how fairy society biology/gender binary comes in conflic#and then I pussied out of posting it so now all you get is peri looking kinda uncomfy in a skirt#The long story short of it tho is that Peri identifies as the human version of male#while the closest he can get to that in fairy society is kind of transfem#So dressing like that around other fairies is closer to making him feel himself but still not entirely right
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“Gideon the ninth should adapted to a tv show!” “Gideon the ninth should be adapted to a game!” Youre all wrong, it should be adapted to a muppet movie.
#personally I am team ‘lyctors are the humans’#just cause gtn having just ‘dulcinea’ as the only human just feels like it follows muppet movie rules without anything sinister under it#but those who know KNOW#the locked tomb#htn#locked tomb#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#gtn#ntn#tlt#gideon the ninth#one of yall is gonna take me seriously#and I’m just a little guy goofin#lock posting
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I am not one to need realism in my silly space show but I WILL say I fucking adore how much Donna Noble feels like a real person. Like omg I know her we worked a shitty office job together where we shit talked a manager together!!! She's my friend she's my neighbor she's my coworker crush I KNOW her!!!!
#doctor who#donna noble#im not saying that there aren't multiple companions that feel like REAL HUMAN PEOPLE but donna's the one i personally feel like I have met#like she's so fucking real to me#she's the exact kind of complicated that feels so so so human
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what’s up I’m Fae, [redacted], and I never fucking learned how to make a promo post <3
I typically gravitate towards cute and whimsical things so that’s mostly what I end up drawing! Things like magical girls, dnd, faeries and the likes inspire me the most so you can expect to see a lot of shoujo fantasy nonsense on my blog. Most of what I end up posting here are tends to be character designs, art of mine and my friends original characters as well as the occasional art trade and commission post! Please consider checking out my blog if any of that is up your alley!
❥ As of right now commissions aren’t opened but I plan to open them sometime in the future
❥ I don’t have a set posting schedule
❥ art trades are opened to mutuals and friends (depending on if I have the energy to do so)!
reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
#deity’s doodles#my art#artists on tumblr#character design#d&d#dnd#dungeons & dragons#dungeons and dragons#tiefling#tieflings#tiefling oc#tiefling ocs#promo post#artist promotion#artist promo#why. is making promo posts so hard I feel like I can’t talk like a human person my god#the besties said my promo post looks good so here we go#idk how else to tag this but pls reblog it thanks ily mwah
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Question for the DP fandom:
Do you think Danny’s hair turns white when it falls out? It’s technically dead cells anyway but when it naturally falls off his head, do you think it turns white? Because I think it would be hilarious if his hairbrush just has white hair, no black strands whatsoever, and his significant other thought the worst until they know his secret.
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton#dc x dp au#sorry it’s a no thoughts head empty kind of night#I know it’s a dumb thing to think about#but it was a shower thought and sometimes those are good#I just think it could bring so much angst to the plot#any plot#like Tim or Damian or whoever you want his significant other to be could think the worst#it would be something they’d notice for sure#could even be Tucker until Sam reminds him that he’s an idiot and their idiot boyfriend turns into a ghost#or it could be another small thing Jazz has to explain away to their parents#she makes up a whole person that is friends with Danny and it becomes a thing#I know it’s gaslighting and I’m not sure she’d do it but it’d be funny#his name is Garrett and he’s one of Danny’s best friends mom. Jeez how do you not know this#or what if Jason’s hair turns white too and that’s when it clicks for Jazz that he is not completely human#if Jazz is liminal her hair could be blue and boy would that be fun to explain#HER HAIR IS BLUE AND SHE HAS FEELINGS ABOUT IT OKAY#all caps on purpose#because I for sure would be freaking out if my hair was the wrong color in the hairbrush#I would purposely pluck a strand and watch it change then freak out#anger management ship#hardcover ship#everlasting trio
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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
#Fumi rambles#Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov#Bite sized fumi#Laios touden#Meta#happy nightmare chapter day#Character analysis#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell#Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it#The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here#that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re#sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down#Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good#Dungeon meshi#Analysis#Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight#Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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For the record, I did figure that out a long time ago, it just gets funnier the more time passes
#My art#This was supposed to be a humble text-only shitpost on side but I convinced myself it'd be funnier if I drew it#I'm not sure it's actually funnier but oh well it's done already#Needed an easy shitpost to draw so here you go#Also yes yes I know most people get over the innitial discomfort and learn to love their bodies etc the documentary wasn't really lying#This silly little shitpost is about my personal feelings and not a universally true and factual statement about the human experience#Legit can't remember the actual documentary anymore so I can't tell if this is my memory just being faulty and making shit up or not#But I got the feeling the lady from the interview was like. Telling herself that. Like. Are you sure? Honey are you sure you're happy? Fr?#EDIT: Changed the second last panel because I was so annoyed with how I had put the emphasis on the wrong word lmao
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man, you know, nobody asked me, but I have such conflicting opinions on some of the fat falin art, where on one hand: it's always nice to see A Fat Body in fanart anywhere + it's being done in positive ways, for funsies and on the other hand, there is something so familiar about how you are automatically The Fat One if you are a woman simply standing next to a more petite woman, bc I've had a 0% hitrate in seeing people change Marcille's body type and keep Falin's, or change both of them. it's just Falin
#it gives me a negative feeling that I seldom/never get from seeing fat art which is rare#like she's not fat out of thin air For Fun And No Other Reason and she's not fat bc of context#(out of thin air being like just picking a character you like and changing their design just cuz. Kabru maybe.)#(and Because Of Context being the way ppl draw fat Usagi from sailor moon. which i have been meaning to do btw)#but rather she's fat just bc to be Not the thinnest woman in the room is to be fat. like it happens specifically by scale#because marcille is so much physically smaller and petite and falin is bigger in the ways that a Human Woman is bigger#than an elf woman#and it's funny bc it's something i see all the time already#people also really don't seem to have an interest in making marcille butch in fanart in a way#that is sort of sad for me bc it's like ah well she's the thin small one so of course she gets to be feminine#if you're physically bigger then of course you get to be masc of course of course of course...#i also love good butch art esp fat butch stuff but this is about the phenomenon where if you're with#a thinner shorter woman then that means you're the butch now which is a place I have been to#and I did not like it there#I think part of why That sticks it to me is bc marcille has such a Butch Girlfriend personality and falin acts so demure LMAO#but she's slightly bigger so the writing is on the wall#sergle.txt#Godspeed to you if you choose to read these thoughts in bad faith bc I can't give you more clarifying statements if I try#like I said. conflicting feelings#i don't know if anyone else has similar thoughts it May Just Be Me#I don't think ppl think about this stuff when they make their fan redesigns but it gives me a certain feeling
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