#but like... i feel like a human person

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

What if I just took a total left-turn from wine aunt to weed aunt?

[hinamie]

subject, specimen, spectacle;

should i say that you're dead?

[tojisun]

thinking about the way simon leans into you for a kiss like this— he curls his hand around your throat, and he doesn’t really tug or tighten it, instead uses his hold as a leverage to push himself close to you, like he is sucked into your gravitational force, always orbiting. always tethered.

he doesn’t know how it is to not be with you.

and this kiss, just one of many, shows the attraction he always succumbs to. he holds onto you like the way one would clap their hands around a glittering firefly, snuffing its way out to force it to sparkle only for themselves, and folds himself close like he is about to whisper a wish.

the kiss becomes a prayer; it is his offering to you.

and when he pulls back, you see the way your lips had burned him, leaving him all pinked cheeks and twitching nose. you feel breathless at the weight of his adoration, his reverence, because simon looks at you like you are worth more than the flesh that holds you up.

you swallow, throat bobbing, and simon’s fingers twitch on your skin. his hand around your throat feels like an anchor but you watch the way he still sinks into you.

[ruporas]

need to exist in your warmth (id in alt)

[inkskinned]

you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.

but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.

well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?

his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.

still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.

so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.

and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.

what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.

it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?

it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.

maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.

[verkomy]

honestly? being in a void between hyperfixations is such a weird feeling, like I can feel my brain searching for something to grab onto but nothing seems good enough so I just sit there and wait for some random obsession to hit me out of nowhere so my brain won’t feel like a dry sponge anymore

[grabyourpillow]

I've been thinking about the moment Lawrence tells Bellini about his papal name "John. I would choose John".

On one hand the words of Conclave writer Peter Straughan bounce around in my head like a windows xp saving screen: "Lawrence admits he has harbored that ambition, that he has prepared his name. It's true what Bellini said about him. It's true about all of them -- except for one person, of course."

And on the other hand it's such a tender little moment. Lawrence could just, not say it and retain the moral high ground literally forever. And as always, always, he chooses to step down, and comfort his longtime confident and friend by looking at him, holding his hands and telling him "look. I'm down here in the muck with the rest of you. With you." And also, perhaps even more importantly "you did not read me wrong. You do, know me."

Going insane

[allthepandasintheworld]

tonight's mood is listening to disease by lady gaga on repeat (i probably wont finish this sketch but like. guys)

[luthienne]

anyway literally everyone is going through something all the time!!! everyone is wounded!!! everyone is human & no one makes it out of this life unscathed!! maybe try approaching people in good faith instead of always defaulting to the worst possible interpretations of each other

[bunnieswithknives]

Fop redesigns for funsies but also bcs I saw some star heel boots and had to put Dale in them immediately.

[lotus-pear]

yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper

[naberiustern]

“Gideon the ninth should adapted to a tv show!” “Gideon the ninth should be adapted to a game!” Youre all wrong, it should be adapted to a muppet movie.

[nat-20s]

I am not one to need realism in my silly space show but I WILL say I fucking adore how much Donna Noble feels like a real person. Like omg I know her we worked a shitty office job together where we shit talked a manager together!!! She's my friend she's my neighbor she's my coworker crush I KNOW her!!!!

[garblegarden]

waiter waiter! more human guy please!

same thing as usual i just like drawing him

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Question for the DP fandom:

Do you think Danny’s hair turns white when it falls out? It’s technically dead cells anyway but when it naturally falls off his head, do you think it turns white? Because I think it would be hilarious if his hairbrush just has white hair, no black strands whatsoever, and his significant other thought the worst until they know his secret.

[nightly-nightcat]

day 163 - anyway i love @churrorat-art's nightcat design so much...... shes just a little guy