#but like. you are already doing so much wrt that death. and you aren’t even done. and now you’re also constantly on a deadline about where

[livvyofthelake]

love spending three hours waiting for my mom to be ready to watch a show together only to be told it’s too late once she finally finishes doing other stuff. girl we agreed to watch this tonight what do you mean I’M too late. i was HERE. i was ready the whole time… YOU were the one doing things you could have done tomorrow!!!

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High: The Seven Ep 6

Bitches Be Shopping

What is up y’all. A little late but let’s jump in with episode six of The Seven where our girls have just received a LOT of information, Sam most of all who got put into a little vision coma that she’s just now waking up from.

She explains the vision to her friends (as she interprets it, the other Eidolons didn’t die, just became part of the natural forces of the world) and then the bear that Penny made on a whim last episode (who is Russian, named Koda, and somehow a trained circus bear) gets into a fight with Katja with their friends buffing the two to make things more interesting because these are still idiot teens, life or death situation or no. Yelle decides to be the adult and tells them to knock it off and get back on mission.

That means Katja needs to call her dad since he’s knows the guy who’s the best lead to getting to TK ( Talcidimir Tallbreeze who I’ll call Tal). She actually manages to get her dad this time who is inside a giant snake on his hell mission. Katja asks what he knows about TK and he says she’s a sorcerer but also has a spell book so maybe she’s multiclassed. Sam and Ant desperately want to know if they boned and Katja absolutely is not interested in that knowledge. Yelle decides to just ask which makes her dad a little annoyed since he’s kind of in the middle of something (literally) and that annoys Ant, Ost, and Sam who--respectively, accuse him of gaslighting Kat, cast Command on him, and cast Bane on him to aid the Command spell. 

Mr. Cleaver fails the save and Ost commands him to tell Katja the truth. He admits that he did hook up with TK and he regrets it (note: it wasn’t like he cheated. It was just a casual hookup that wasn’t fulfilling it seems). Ost demands he apologize for not being there for Kat and Sam berates him for being at the top of the world and not lifting up his daughter too. For his part, Kat’s dad seems genuinely apologetic and promises to do better. 

“You don’t need to be the best father, you just need to be there,” Katja says, making her dad break down crying. 

Yelle, who has no daddy issues, is a bit less aggro and says that everyone makes mistakes and he can start making it up right now by helping with the Tal situation. She also gives them the tip that a cold spell will probably get them out of the snake lickety split.  She is on the money with the snake tip and Mr. Cleaver gets them all invites to a masquerade ball Tal is hosting. It’s being held on the Rumbosa which is this city-sized leisure ship. Mr. Cleaver says he’ll be back as soon as he can and, in the meantime, she should take care of her friends, “even the first 2 that were terrifying to me.”

The girls give Katja the axe they took as a birthday present (it was apparently her birthday the day before which Rekha just decided and Ost/Izzy refuses to accept without a fight because she *knows* Kat’s bday) which is identified as the Axe of Sundering (it can shatter objects, people, and sometimes concepts like halving movement). The two unnamed potions Yelle found are also ID’d as a Potion of Fly and a Potion of Gaseous Form. She distributes the Heath Potions to people without heals. Ant’s new arrows bypass some resistances and let her treat whatever she hits with the first one like it’s her favored enemy. 

According to their invites, the ship they need is docking in the city of Gravalvia soon (a very old city in the Baronies) so they need to figure out a plan. They have some downtime, during which:

Zelda tries to hype up the team.

Zelda tries to see if Ost is OK wrt dad stuff and Ost has a Full Breakdown after badly pretending she’s fine. 

While Zelda, Ost, and Penny are being Emotional and Sam is trying to literally cool them down with her powers, Ant and Yelle keep watch and experience emotional stability as the Adults Of The Party 

Anyway, after a night of rest, they head to the golden city of Gravalvia which is this very cool, very pretty city with mosaics and fountains and I assume columns. They get there and there’s a dramatic fight happening in the square which is halted when one of the fighters realizes that the country he’s fighting for doesn’t exist anymore. And now, it’s time for what we’ve all been waiting for. Shopping Montage! Let’s go girl by girl.

Katja and Ost

Kat asks for help from Ost with getting fancy for this gala since she’s never really done anything dressy before (and she had no mom to help--Kaaaat) and Ost is happy to oblige, dressing them both like “Jersey trash”. Kat, of course, still wears her Khakis underneath.

Antiope

Ant decides to get a vibe for what people here wear and picks something that will blend in but be forgettable so she can be stealthy. Classy blue dress and mask.

Penny

Penny...OK, I absolutely cannot describe what happens here in any way that will do justice to the scene. I am going to tell you what matters to the plot. You have to watch this yourself if you want to see the entire table have a collective breakdown. 

While looking for a costume, Penny runs into a halfling who is a member of the Society of Shadows--Laertes. He wants to know why she hasn’t responded to their invitation yet. She says she’s really eager to join, she just wasn’t sure how to respond (and also, she’s kind of in the middle of something). He says she can join by just messaging back and then her loved ones just have to sign waivers to have their memories wiped of her and she’s good to go. Say what now? asks Penny. She didn’t realize this was like a full Men in Black situation. 

He says it’s ultimately her decision and leaves.

Of course, I left out the parts where he ate a handful of Candy Heart’s remains, became violently ill, almost projectile vomited into Penny’s mouth, and she tried to kiss him despite him being a full adult. It’s A Lot, ok?

Also, we don’t find out until later but Penny picks a sexy duck costume for reasons that make more sense if you watch the scene but not *much* more sense. She also burns one of the healing potions on this dude as he is bar

Danielle

Danielle tries to get some info on the guests at the party and gets the names Lawrence LaDuc, Princess Autumn, and Duston who is the playboy cousin of Tal. She also hears some dude saying some colonize and plunder the earth BS and casts Heat Metal on him, fully mercing the dude. Ice cold. 

She tries to play it off like it’s the Curse of the Forest and when that doesn’t work and people start coming for her, she wildshapes into a dragon wyrmling and starts roasting people, killing 1 and dropping 2 to zero. 

Unfortunately, one of her party members is a known dragon hater and uses her new arrows to snipe her right out of the sky. Ant is horrified once she realizes what she’s done but Yelle says it’s all good. It’s NOT all good, says Ant, I STABBED YOU. You’re allowed to be mad! Yelle says she’s just really good at compartmentalizing but what Ant’s getting here is that Yelle doesn’t really believe that her feelings matter which echo the fears of her moms. 

Sam

Sam uses a combination of Mantle of Inspiration, glamour magic, performance, and good old flirting to get herself some killer clothes and also start a spontaneous musical number Giselle style.  

Brennan says she looks resplendent and, honestly, when does she not?

They reconvene, Zelda in a classic hoop skirt. Yelle realizes she never got a costume and just whips out a Met Gala level, autumn themed, Queen Mab-esque costume with Druidcraft which she could have done this whole time so I guess that’s why she was cool spending her shopping time getting gossip and playing Poison Ivy. 

They get to the ship and the way this works, everyone has to make an entrance and the really rich people (including Tal) are on a dais up top watching everyone come in. They all have to give fake names for the night since it’s a masquerade and they have to do Performance or Persuasion checks to see how impressive they look going in. 

Before they go in, they plan a little. Penny wants to look for TK. Sam wants to find Dunston. Ost wants to talk to the bouncers. Yelle wants to see if there are plants she can manipulate (there are btw) and for any exits. 

A quick rundown of how these all go:

Katja aka Mere (which means both mom and horse): 16 

Ant aka Midnight Huntress: 18 

Penny aka Penny Duckstone: 13

Zelda aka Madame Goodparty: 2 (Poor Zelda)

Sam aka Songbird: 22 (but she takes a hit to entrance save Zelda from totally flaming out)

Ost aka Stanley Gucci: 13

And Danielle, who never hogs the spotlight and is embarrassed to admit that maybe she does want to be the center of attention for once in her life with a Natural 20, gets a 29, absolutely bringing down the house as Empress Anima. As she walks forward she feels a voice say to her, “You got this. I love the name. You wear it well.”

Tal seems very impressed by her and a lady in a rabbit mask (Coeliabranca who I’ll call Coel if she comes up more) comes down to bring her up to the top with the high rollers. As she leaves, Sam casts Fly on her, just in case and holds the Concentration. 

Ost and Kat go talk to the bouncers and Kat decides to pretend to be her mom to get access to the area Yelle is. She rolls low and is told, “Hey, aren’t you already up there?” Kat is like, fuck and Ost saves her by using her charm earrings to get an entourage of guards who will let them through and do what she says. Once up there, Kat doesn’t see her mom which I can imagine she has mixed feelings about. 

Sam finds Dunston who is talking about Fantasy Bitcoin and seems like a real “Step on me mommy” type you know? Like, I feel like he’s into findom. Anyway, Sam charms him and his hangers on and learns about a procedure called a Phlebectomy that involves something going into their nose and then they feel better. Sam is rightfully horrified because, as I said, she is Most Likely To Survive A Horror Movie and can sense BS when she sees is. It’s apparently all the rage with the rich people here which is, como de dice, concerning seeing as they’re surrounded by them but we’ll get to that. Sam takes advantage of Dunston’s proclivities and gets him alone, knocks him out, steals him clothes, and pretends to be him (a *very* good scene by Sephie). 

Penny sees a gnome gnome boy (Lysander Higgins) shining shoes and finds out from him that there is a copper earth genasi woman here. In a very Cinderella move, she asks what shoes she was wearing. Then, she makes out with him which like, sure. At least it’s not a grown adult man this time. Before she gets her kisses in, she does tell the group what she learned. 

Up with the rich people, Yelle is introduced to Tal’s friend who is into Eidolons because of the name she chose. Between the shoes and her knowledge, they confirm that it’s TK! Yelle asks what she knows about Eidolons and she says that 7 is a very powerful number.

We cut to Ant who is patrolling the room as the sun sets and she suddenly hears a little beeping. It’s coming from a small crystal that was in Preston’s shirt (which she still has on her because???). Guests start dripping goo from their noses and transforming into monsters. Ant realizes that some kind of spell is happening triggered by midnight and this beeping. Hope these costumes are battle ready cause it’s fight time baybee!

Superlatives 

Danielle: Most Likely to Be on The News for Murdering Fantasy Jeff Bezos

I cannot imagine what was running through Yelle’s head when she decided that, having just rolled into a foreign country, her next move was to start using lethal force on anti-environmentalist colonizing capitalists. Like, she’s not *wrong* per se but she is wild--in all senses of the word.  

Random Thoughts

Kat keeps saying yesterday was her birthday which Ost/Izzy (and the rest of the group to a less vocal degree) are simply not having because maybe her dad would forget her birthday but her girls absolutely would not.

“You’re great because you stayed,” is the other killshot Kat line to her dad.

At a certain point Sam says, “This is so unhealthy,” to I think Yelle and like, if SAM is telling you your coping mechanisms are unhealthy, get thee to therapy.

OK, so someone, presumably Anima’s spirit, talks to Yelle as she makes her grand entrance which seems like info they should get to Talura ASAP, right? Cause that’s evidence they’re not dead-dead, just changed in form. But also Anima, girl. Don’t talk to Yelle. Talk to your rampaging sister!

"That's my secret, I stay in initiative."

Just a process note, notes are taken for the next ep and I am working on getting that recap up ASAP. As a battle ep, it will be in the abbreviated style that I did for last battle ep. 

In this episode, Penny rolls a Nat 1 (which she rerolls) and one of Brennan’s NPCs rolls a Nat 1. Ant rolls 2 Nat 20s, Yelle rolls 1, and Brennan says that one of his NPCs gets a 20 which sweeps him entirely into Sam’s dance number. 

[gffa]

@ap-trash-compactor replied:

1/7 I wanna preface this by saying I agree with everything you’re saying here but I think there’s another layer to how Raffa’s story functions both textually and meta-textually, and to what it illustrates about how many people in the Galaxy /might/ perceive the Jedi, which I personally haven’t seen addressed yet. Sorry in advance if this is something you’ve heard/read/discussed ten million times already, but... 2/7 If you took Raffa’s story out of Star Wars and put it into a contemporary drama, changed the word “Jedi” to the word “police,” and made the particulars about a high-speed car chase? I think it would sound pretty believable. And I think this illustrates something Palpatine does through the mechanism of the Clone Wars to make the position of the Jedi especially vulnerable or precarious wrt to public opinion. 3/7 Even if every single Jedi engages w the power and authority of their military or police role only in the best intentioned, most good-faith way imaginable (which the Umbara arc tells us doesn’t always happen), any time you are in a role where you, even have without wanting or intending to, exercise the power of life and death other lives, you will cause pain and be a target for resentment. Someone will lose someone, and be angry. 4/7 No matter how good or how well-intentioned or how compassionate they are, during the Clone Wars the Jedi are forced into the role of a state authority exercising the power of life and death. They are not only a cultural minority during the Clone Wars. They are also a branch of the state, and in that role they sometimes either kill people, or are involved in events where people die and where, no matter their intentions, they are the face of the state and the voice of authority. 5/7 Many of the military and police actions shown in different episodes of this series leave destruction in their wake. The Jedi’s participation is barely by choice and almost never by preference— but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. 6/7 There are not many Jedi during the Clone Wars. Certainly there are not many compared to the problems they are trying to fix. I have no doubt Luminara tried her best, wanted a different outcome, and gave Raffa all the comfort she had the time and the opportunity to give... But if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your only direct experience of the Jedi is like the one Raffa describes? You’re probably primed to consume all of Palpatine’s worst lies. 7/7 If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them.

I think you and I are very much on the same page!  I have discussed this before (the public’s turning on the Jedi), but I’m always down for discussing it again!  Especially when I love pretty much allllll of this. If you’re Palpatine, making the Jedi rush from violent crisis to violent crisis doesn’t just distract them from the fact that you’re a Sith Lord — it also makes the Jedi into the face of a lot of negative, hurtful interactions with the state, which is going to impact the way people see them. You are spot on with your summation, to the point it’s almost hard for me to respond with anything because I feel like all I can do is bang my fist on the table and go, “Yes!  This is what I’ve been talking about!”  Though, of course, there is a lot going on here that’s making it complicated. This post that you’re responding to is focused more specifically on the theme of unreliable narrators + the close associations this season has had with Revenge of the Sith (the moments that make us sit up and go, “Oh, that’s foreshadowing for stuff in ROTS!” like Padme’s pregnancy, Anakin’s advice to Rex, etc.), but there’s also what you’re talking about here--that it’s been a long-running theme in the GFFA that public sentiment turned against the Jedi and that the causes of that are fascinating. I said a bunch of times that Rafa’s hurt in this episode is valid, that there’s room for both the Jedi acting with honorable intentions and that people don’t trust them, don’t draw comfort from them, that these things are not mutually exclusive and you’re hitting on exactly why--because they were put into a situation where, if they’re not 100% perfect, then they’re going to fall off the pedestal they’ve been put onto.  That any flaw they have will then get magnified a hundred times. Luminara seems to have made a point to go back and try to talk to Rafa, to tell her a phrase that is narratively meaningful within Star Wars on a meta level, like, that says to me that she has really good intentions!  But that Rafa doesn’t draw any comfort from it, as a non-Force sensitive and someone who probably is left to the Republic’s shitty welfare services (which isn’t the Jedi’s jurisdiction, they’re not social workers and we can’t expect them to be), doesn’t undercut Luminara’s presumed good intentions, just as Luminara’s presumed good intentions don’t undercut Rafa’s hurt. And that it’s understandable--because, as the Maul arc in season 5 says, the Jedi aren’t doing the things that they used to do, that crime is flourishing because they’re being so busy with this war they’ve been drafted into.  Even Star Wars: Propaganda makes it clear that public sentiment turned against the Jedi because of a cultural absence, rather than anything they actively did. This is all by design from Palpatine, that he’s keeping them so busy putting out tire fires on Ryloth (who were being slaughtered by the Separatists), on Mon Calamari (who were being enslaved by the Separatists), on Kiros (who were being kidnapped and taken into the resumed Zygerrian slave empire), that they don’t have time to do the things they used to, like take care of a lot of the criminal elements or the outreach programs that we see hinted at in the supplementary material. The Jedi had to make a choice between fighting in a war where entire worlds were being enslaved, that there were only so many of them and they were dying, that they died in droves on Geonosis in Attack of the Clones and they’re dying every day in the war, that they were literally one out of six billion in the galaxy at their height, and that they had a million expectations placed on them.  They have very little political capital/power, yet they’re expected to solve all the problems in ways that will last.  They’re expected to police the Underworld, but also not police the Underworld because then they’re restricting people.  They’re expected to be social workers.  They’re expected to fight and die in a war that the public itself refuses to stand up in.  And when they don’t live up to those impossible perfections, they’re torn down. This is not to set aside that of course there are instances of people like Trace and Rafa, where the destruction wreaked by chasing down someone like Ziro is going to sometimes cause people to get hurt and, honestly, I don’t feel like Rafa really blamed Luminara for that, given the acknowledgement of the crowded platform she was trying to avoid.  But if she had?  That, too, would have been reasonable and understandable!  That it doesn’t matter if the Jedi were doing literally everything they could, that doesn’t mean there’s not also room for Rafa’s hurt.  And that, even if I think there was absolutely nothing that Luminara could say that would have given Rafa comfort, that doesn’t make Rafa’s hurt/viewpoint any less empathizable. My blog tends to focus on the Jedi side of things because those are the characters I’m interested in, not because they’re the only element that matters. In the meta we’re responding to, a lot of the focus is on Luminara and the Jedi because that’s my jam, that’s the part I thrive on, but we’re definitely in agreement that Rafa’s feelings are not wrong and it’s not hard to see where they come from! I do take issue with the idea of--whether it’s true or not, we can all argue about it all day long, but it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not--that if the Jedi are remote and distant from the galaxy, that that narratively is approved of how they then “kind of brought their downfall (aka, violent genocide) on themselves”.  That’s something I’ve seen skirted around in commentary from the creators and I’m wary of it leaking into the narrative in a more substantial way.  But that’s an entirely separate issue from the fact that anti-Jedi sentiments exist in the narrative and that they led to the Jedi Purge/Jedi genocide. As part of the propaganda and manipulations Palpatine did, yes, absolutely, that is one of the most fascinating things!  And that doesn’t mean that there’s not validity to those feelings, even if they’re rooted in propaganda and manipulation! But that, just as there’s room for Rafa’s hurt despite Luminara’s intentions, there’s room for the Jedi’s good intentions despite the public’s hurt and/or mistrust. My thing is that I tend to look at why the Jedi act the way they do and I usually come away with empathy for how they got into the situations they did.  Like, take their alignment with the Republic, which was an organization with corruption down to the roots by the time of the Twilight of the Republic, that that association absolutely led to their downfall/genocide.  But what else could they do?  Being part of the Republic in that way allowed them to actually help people, to have negotiating power, to form treaties that would be honored even when they were no longer on a given planet.  If they weren’t under the jurisdiction of the Senate, they could not have helped as many people as they did, especially because how would they even be able to afford starship fuel or housing costs?  Would they charge people for their services?  That’s a disaster waiting to happen! There’s room for both “the best option for the Jedi was to be part of the Republic and try to improve the system from the inside, which is what they did” AND “the being part of the Republic is what ultimately fucked them”, those things are both true! but if you are one of the Raffas of the galaxy and your parents just died, the distinction probably does not matter much. I think this is a corner Palpatine absolutely wanted to paint the Jedi into, because it absolutely serves his goals. Spot on!  I have fun looking at what Luminara’s intentions likely were and what the context of the structure of the show entails, that Rafa’s character doesn’t have to be a reliable narrator to be valuable (and I say this as someone who actually really loves the unreliable narrators of SW, which honestly is almost literally every single character, very few are ones you can take at face value without seeing the circumstances for yourself), but to Rafa it doesn’t really matter what Luminara did or didn’t say, because that’s not what she was looking for or what she got out of that conversation.  I can’t say I would act differently in her position! And that’s exactly what Palpatine did.  He pulled the Jedi in so many different directions, made them responsible for things that literally no group could possibly have survived with public sentiment intact, and even if the Jedi had been literally perfect (which they weren’t), it wouldn’t have mattered, given that the entire point of the prequels is that you gotta choose between Shitty Option A and Shitty Option B. It’s the galaxy’s worst ever version of, “Which would you rather?” except its real and you have to play the game, because not playing gets you fucked over even faster, like it did with Mandalore.

[laufire]

Roswell NM 2x07

I felt so so much for Rosa. I always do, but even more in this episode. Seeing her dragging the pod people is always great, ofc* (”I don’t speak bored rich lady at yoga” aslñkdfjasdf). And I lost it when she berated Liz over her red jacket LMAO (why are little sisters always stealing our stuff without permission smh xDD). I have a lot of Thoughts on how she’s reacting to Liz’s changes and harder exterior (when she told Rosa she’d taken “her advice” wrt their mother... my heart :(. And it wasn’t lost on me that Liz’s put on red lipstick for the dinner, aka “armor”). My heart constantly breaks for her when it comes to her addiction issues, but I do like that the show is tackling them this way, making her relapse etc. It feels real, given EVERYTHING she’s going through (and I also like that Liz is canonically bad at helping her with them, btw).

*Though I want to point out, in my books she and Max (but especially not the other two, who have acted worse in s2 ofc) aren’t “good”, because like I’ve said before, the damage Max & co caused wasn’t Rosa’s actual death. They’re “good” in the sense that Rosa doesn’t owe him anything now: his life was too high a price for undoing the damage he did and she fixed that. But that still leaves everything else: destroying Rosa’s memories, putting a target on the Ortechos, even endangering other PoC in the town that became collateral victims of the Conspiracy(TM). So yeah, like I say, these people still have a huge debt with Rosa (more Michael and ESPECIALLY Isobel, since she’s hurt her in the present too). I am glad that she’s not making nice with them (though the fact that she’s pushed into storylines with Isobel --who KEEPS INVADING HER PHYSICAL SPACE LIKE IT’S NOTHING. She’s now even been invited to Rosa’s “place” and I can’t tell you how much it disgusts me ¬¬-- gives me the creeps sns) and retaining her anger, because that can only be good for her narrative --the last thing I’d want is for her to become their prop ugh.

The one thing I didn’t like about the Helena-Liz-Rosa story... was Helena’s actress LOL. I just... don’t see her for the part? IDK, but it did put a damper on it for me. Otherwise, I did love it. I loved seeing Liz so affected --specially, I loved that Liz BELIEVED Helena, in a way Rosa didn’t, not really; that Liz was touched thinking Helena’d been sober since Rosa’s death. And I love that Rosa still wanted to “protect” Liz from it: that she didn’t tell her about the drugs she found on Helena’s car, and that her reaction to seeing their fight was “I couldn’t rescue you.” I loved the “Rose is looking down at us from above” *Rosa’s powers act out* scene LMAO (does Arturo know about that? Because it seems he got WHY it was happening but I can’t imagine these people actually be forthcoming with him about anything...). And I got ~feels when Liz mentioned Helena’s last time in town was at Jim Valenti’s funeral --I want more Rosa & Valentis stuff, okay? The only reason that isn’t explored as much seems to be that it’s not as easy to make it All About The Pod Siblings as the Ortecho family relations, tbh (which, btw, I HAAAAAAATE seeing Max act all buddy-buddy with Arturo. Haaaaaaate it. I hate how tainted Arturo’s relationships are for me).

I LOVE Maria for how she reacted to finding out she has genuine powers! I love how excited she was about saving a life (that she makes Isobel pay double makes her even MORE my hero xDD). And you know what? Between actually seeing them have meaningful interactions this episode (it is possible! Kyle and Maria CAN be in the same one! Wow), and her “and not just ANY life. Kyle Valenti’s. Who’ll go on to save MORE lives” has made me genuinely ship Kyluca LMAO (ofc while still side-eyeing everyone who convenience-ships it lmao). Add that my fave Kyle ship was already Kyle/Michael (mostly because I have Issues(TM) with all others lol), and that I ofc love Miluca (I love how proud he’s of her hustling and his heart eyes xD)... guess what I ot3 now LOL (their interactions all three together this ep obviously only add to that). I loved seeing Kyle bragging about his science advancements too LMAO. I love it when my faves have talents, know it, and value them as they should, no false-modesty bs.

I saw some promo pics for next episode and a.) it seems Rosa will be flirting with some girl, yay!, and b.) JAMIE CLAYTON IS ON IT. I’m guessing she’ll be Cameron’s sister, which might mean I actually care about that storyline now LOL. It would fit with how hard this show goes *SOMETIMES* with RL analogies (I mean. Trans activist, state secrets, prison, etc. It’s not subtle). I say sometimes because they do tackle racial issues directly with, for example, Maria’s family (the experiments), the Ortecho’s... but then ofc there’s the whole mess with the pod siblings + Noah, so.

[reggierightsactivism]

B,F,Z For the fanfic ask game

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Not really 😅I don’t like drawing on my own life experiences too much wrt writing, I’m neurotically private that way. At most sometimes I’ll go more into detail if I do have experience in something, but I won’t usually center a whole story around that thing. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“It sounds complicated,” Archie agrees. “Look, Reg, I know you enough not to make too big a deal about this, but hey, I’m happy for you. It can be hard to figure these things out on your own.”

Reggie laughs a little, tempted to make a joke about how, yeah, he’s not the one who has a dad who would say he’ll still love him just as much if he want to play music and football, but he stops himself just in time. It’d make for a better joke if Archie’s dad wasn’t dead, obviously.

“Yeah,” is what he goes with instead, which is lame but harmless. And true. Not that Reggie’s had to find the way through his sexuality crisis entirely on his own, but if he’d had to, he’d probably still be all way back at square one.

“It’s not even that I’m all that worried about what people at school would think,” he adds, which is also true in a way he hadn’t really realized until saying it just now. “Like, it’s senior year anyway, right, and if I was already in college then I’d probably just go for it. But--”

He falls quiet, working his jaw to one side in thought.

“I get it, dude. And I’m sorry,” Archie says, touching him on the shoulder. “It sucks that you always have to worry so much about how your parents will react to things like this.”

“It’s fine,” Reggie says, though it isn’t, really. The Mantle family isn’t dysfunctional in the ways most of Riverdale’s most broken families tend to be-- his parents aren’t mobsters or siblings or serial killers, nothing like that, although he might argue that when they’re mad they can be just as scary.

When they’re not mad, though (at him or in general, at least with his dad the difference is often immaterial), it’s so different.

When he was a kid and got sent home early for fighting on the playground, and his dad commended him for not letting himself get pushed around, then showed Reggie old Kung-Fu movies so he’d learn about badass Asian heroes the likes of which were never featured in the Twilight Drive-In’s lineups; whenever he’s had a good day on the dealership shadowing his dad and they’d go get Pop’s after, maybe even share a couple beers back home as they watch whatever game was on that night; whenever he was MVP during a football game; whenever he charmed his mother’s book club or garden party friends so much everyone would be in a boisterous, charitable mood for the entire weekend.

Being a local football star isn’t only good for his reputation, it helps his father sell cars, it helps his mother raise money and her status within the community. By all appearances, and even sometimes in those brief moments of peace when his parents are actually proud of him, the Mantles make a perfect team.

As much as Reggie hates his parents, he loves them, too. The prospect of never seeing them again after he leaves for college doesn’t set him to ease as much as it probably should.

“Maybe it’ll be easier when we’re not living together,” he goes on, not certain if he’s convinced by the notion but vaguely hopeful anyway. Hey, mom and dad. I think I might be bisexual. I’ve kinda-sorta been seeing this guy from the football team. Anyway, bye! See you at Thanksgiving!

Yeah, totally. Solid plan.

-- excerpt from Like A Tough Guy Would

LONG but I just really enjoyed writing this scene 1) to have a moment where someone comforts/helps Reggie with a problem rather than the typical other way around, and of course it made most sense for that to be Archie, which 2) also allowed me to write an Archie/Reggie scene, which I have somehow still not done a whole lot of yet!!, 3) some slightly less straightforward introspection about Reggie’s parents, which is definitely an undercurrent throughout this fic, and 4) I just find a lot of the lines in this segment funny. 

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I don’t necessarily mind reading it depending on the context of a story, but it really depends. I’ve been fine even with canon deaths of my favorites if done well -- though in fic this is a little trickier because idk, narratively justifying death in a fic (just as sometimes in canon) often will boil down to just utilizing that character as a plot device for whatever ship/character the fic is for, vs a greater canon narrative -- but if it’s horror or, again, contexually holds up, then I’ll be more open to it (reading or writing).

Send me fanfic asks 💖

[thesummerstorms]

Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 10)

CW: murder, death in combat,slightly graphic descriptions of corpses

TL:DR Recap: Etain and Dar go to one of Jinart’s safehouses and are immediately betrayed, which yet again, kind of justifies Etain’s paranoia. Darman kills a man, which perturbs Etain. Omega steals mining equipment and accidentally captures Guta-Nay. Hokan is pissed that Dar and Etain got away, and reveals that Jinart literally murdered the collaborators and tore them to pieces.

unfortunately, after posting the last recap I saw two Kal mentions in Chapter 9 that I missed, so we’re starting at a Kal count of 18.

Beginning Kal Count: 18 Ending Kal Count: 19

I regret to inform you I missed TWO references from Niner about Kal in chapter 9, so we’re starting at a Kal Count of 18.

I won’t screenshot the opening quote, but it’s basically a notice to the farmers on Qiilura that anyone who has Republic soldiers on their land without knowing will be sold into slavery and anyone helping the Republic on purpose will be shot. It does provide some needed framework for the rest of the chapter. Then we open in Darman’s pov, and IDK, I just kind of like the opening line. He still thinks of Kamino as “home” apparently at this point in time.

Etain is still being kind of unfairly snarky, and Darman’s at a loss what to do about it.

“Darman took is as a sensible observation rather than an insult.” Etain isn’t really being great right now, I recognize that, but I still love that line.

Anyway, they stop at the first safehouse and Etain goes to knock. Darman hates feeling obvious and exposed, and compares his lack of ability to blend in to, you guessed it, Skirata.

Kal Count raised to 19, BUT so far I think that’s the only one in this chapter.

Anyway, the house is empty; the family fled in the middle of a meal. Darman is still overly cautious, and walks Etain through house clearing procedure, even though her Force-sense tells her it’s safe. He points out that she can’t sense a tripwire that would murder them, even though Jedi Danger Sense is an established thing in the EU by this point and-

Sorry.

He also redirects her when she’s peering over his shoulder into the pantry instead of standing guard at the door and watching their gear, although he’s gracious enough to admit it had probably never occurred to her with Jedi senses.  While he raids said pantry with the intent to test the food for toxins later, she goes to fill bottles of water from a pump outside, and he asks why she isn’t using a filter. Again, we were just giving Etain shit a few chapters ago for being too paranoid and now she’s asking if he was trained by Nemoidians, but honestly I’m feeling kinder to Dar than Jinart because it really is a culture clash.

Yet again, I wonder how the Kaminoans can afford to kill that many clones out right when each clone is such an investment to rain and train in terms of both input and time. 

Darman doesn’t know what to make of a Jedi who isn’t the perfect demigod he was promised, which is affecting his trust levels. And Etain hasn’t been helping a lot with that. But she does notice something is wrong with him; she just doesn’t know him well yet, so she assumes it has something to do with his physical injury.

They eventually make it to another safe house, when they meet a woman “with a face like a gdan”, several children, and a few other adults. Dar is briefly overwhelmed because it’s the first time he’s seen this many humans who aren’t clones. I guess the commandos never saw their Sergeants group up.

Darman places mines all around the entrance to the building before he goes in, which I’m sure would win him no love even if the farmers weren’t already under threat of execution or slavery. The family at the safehouse says very little, outside of one woman who wants to know how the Republic is better than the Nemoidians, but they do attempt to feed Dar and Etain, which I have to say, is generous for the kind of place they’re living in. Or would be, if the family weren’t planning to sell them out & use the food as a distraction.

Dar, honey, she’s going to be able to read you in the Force better than anyone else in the galaxy by the time this is over and you’ll like it, so you might as well just buckle up. 

Also, clones are able of discerning thoughts/behavior patterns/moods really easily through minute observation and there’s nothing ruling out Etain doing the same her, but I guess it makes sense he jumps to mind reading the way the Kaminoans built up the Jedi.

Lots of little thoughts here. There’s post to be made based on a conversation I had with rey-skywalkin-away about Etain and food that I’ll save for another day, but for now, let me just say as much as KT tries to present Etain as a picky/snobbish eater, lemme just say that I don’t blame Etain in the least for being suspicious when the last stew Jinart tried to serve her included grains literally picked out of the manure on Etain’s cloak. Also, it’s still kind of sweet that Darman notices she isn’t eating enough and immediately offers her his bread, even though he’s in heaven getting “real” food. It’s generous. 

But good things never last, and Etain pretty much immediately is warned by the Force that someone is approaching unexpectedly. Darman flips out and the family immediately flees, which only confirms his suspicion. Dar and Etain brace for combat, while Etain uses Force-sense to pinpoint the incoming enemy forces. It’s actually kind of a great little action scene for the two of them.

“She put her lips so close to his ear he jumped.” Idk, I just giggled at that.

It’s just kind of a great little moment, getting to actually see Etain use her Force skills competently in an action scene. But of course, it immediately devolved. Darman, being raised to be a soldier, kills the one surviving Separatist, who’s injured on the floor. Etain, being raised a Jedi, doesn’t understand. Again, it’s a culture clash, but given the military focus of the books, we know who the narrative thinks is right.

I STILL WANT TO KNOW... who the hell were the clones supposed to be killing on Kamino? I can’t imagine the Kaminoans would let the clones kill even “worthless” Kaminoans, for fear of the armies they were raising getting ideas. I suppose Jango could have snuck back a bounty that was supposed to be dead every now and then, but that wouldn’t be a lot of people for training with 3,000,000 men. 

Also, Darman literally had his freak out over killing people on page 56 of this same, book, so it comes off as a tad hypocritical, even though this isn’t the last time he’ll not understand what Etain is upset about wrt killing.

Anyway, Darman is shot in the shoulder, though it’s a minor wound, they’re now on the run with no “safe houses” to hide in, and at the end of this scene, when Darman asks if Etain can sense droids, we find out she can’t when a droid starts shooting at them.

We then skip to Niner and Atin and Fi raiding a quarry for droids/explosives/equipment. I’m not gonna lie, I could care less about the plot of this section. This is my third time reading it and I’m still fuzzy on it. But it has a few fun little moments:

Atin is tricky. Also, I’m pretty sure that if this wasn’t a Star Wars book,that line would say “pants-shittingly nervous” rather than “drink-spilling”. With the facility seemingly cleared out, Niner and Atin go in to loot it, and we build some more on the “Atin is the tech guy” thing.

Except the guard shack isn’t empty. Guta-Nay (again, the would be rapist) has been hiding there, since Hokan wants him dead. Guta-Nay tries offering various bits of information if Niner will keep him alive, and KT really, really leans in to the whole “to stupid to function” thing, which is still making me uncomfortable, but comes to a head a few chapters from now. Eventually, Niner concedes that they’ll take Guta-Nay prisoner rather than kill him. Atin is displeased, but starts leveraging it to try and find a technical solution to one of their other problems.

Niner, you should absolutely keep thinking mean thoughts about Vau.

Atin hacks some droids, and they’re going to use them to move the mining charges and smuggle them into the places that need to be blown up, including the Nemodian comm relay in Tekklet. Atin still does not like Guta-Nay.

And then one bit that really makes this scene:

Tiny bit of foreshadowing for Triple Zero and True Colors. GREAT moment of Fi’s typical sass. “Don’t stand there being so ugly, man. You’re scaring him.”

We then close the chapter with Hokan being pissed that Darman and Etain escaped. I’m not going to spend too much time on it, because it’s mostly Hokan yelling at his subordinates.

Things that are of note,  with a CW for a graphic description of mutilation of corpses: this is what Jinart went and did to the collaborators.

As negatively as Traviss paints them, I actually feel really bad for the farmers in this book. She’s not much sympathetic to them, and she explicitly goes out of her way to show why you’d be stupid to sympathize with them, but on the one hand you have the Separatists and Hokan torching these people’s land, selling them into slavery, and executing them. On the other... you have Jinart. 

On top of which, they’re literally starving because of the Nemodian’s financial control of their lives. They don’t even have 21st century plumbing, in Star Wars. Whatever point Traviss thinks she’s making about unworthy civilian/local populations, it rings kind of hollow in the face of that information, because I can understand exactly why the NPCs act the way they do, even if they’re technically in opposition to our protagonists.

Anyway, Hokan pulls all droids out of Tekklet, where the comm is, to guard Uthan’s facility. He tells his men he wants either Darman or Etain alive, especially if Etain is a Jedi. Preferably both of them. Again, remember, he tortured Kast Fulier to death with Fulier’s own lightsaber, so remember what we’re working with here.

And that’s where the scene ends.

[abstract-apocalypse]

Tagged by @tarberrymentats! Tysm for the tag, u da bess!!!

Tagging: @isodopeds​, @chaosintheavenue​, @bitter-root-tea​, and anybody else who sees this and wants to! I’m not sure who’s been tagged yet, so... yeah. I’m always so bad at the tagging people part of this.

Doing this for my 76 protagonist! (What are we calling them? Vault Dweller is already taken...)

- LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

Name: Della Prince

Eye Color: Bright blue

Hair Style/Color: Jet black, long and usually worn loose and curled, though sometimes she likes to do an updo, braids, or victory rolls.

Height: 5′5 or 6

Clothing Style: Classy 50′s stuff. She prefers skirts and dresses, heels, pearls, generally a high femme kind of vibe. She looks good in lots of colors, but prefers black, white, red, and pink as a general rule. She’s pretty vain and makes a strong effort wrt her wardrobe and personal styling-- one of her least favorite parts of living in the wasteland is having to dress practically to do missions and such, though at least the Chinese Stealth Suit is pretty sexy.

Best Physical Feature: She’s really a knockout by most people’s standards (especially those of the pre-war culture), so it’s hard to say! She’s stacked, with that classic hourglass shape, so maybe that? Or her hair? It’s super dark and a little wavy, and she styles it to have that classic Hollywood big-loose-curls look.

- LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: Not being good enough for sure. Her parents kinda pushed her to be perfect, and were emotionally distant, and she has this complex about how if she isn’t perfect nobody will love her.

Guilty Pleasure: Being vulnerable and emotionally open. She tries her best to avoid it, but if it happens and she can’t help it, it’s so nice to open up and show the parts of her that aren’t perfect, even though she’s always consumed with shame after.

Biggest Pet Peeve: People not having manners. Just because it’s the apocalypse doesn’t mean you can’t be dignified.

Ambition for the Future: Success, material comfort, and maybe if she gets lucky, being genuinely cared about.

- LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: What she needs to do today and how she’s going to do it.

What They Think About the Most: How to succeed at whatever task she’s currently set to, how to play on people and get what she wants.

What They Think About Before Bed: Normal lying-awake-at-night things like will I ever really be happy? What if I fail at this thing I have to do? Oh god remember that time I screwed that thing up? And of course, daydreaming about her dream life and the guy she’s crushing on.

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: She’s classy af, smart, charming, and drop dead gorgeous. (Also a little conceited, as you can see by her laundry list of things she loves about herself.)

- LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: Single, though she’s certainly not opposed to larger social functions with the bae! Gotta show up at the party and blow everyone’s minds with your cute bf

To be Loved or Respected: Loved.

Beauty or Brains: Both! She’s smart as hell, and that’s her biggest asset-- she’s persuasive, charismatic, and intelligent, but of course her looks are a big help too and she cares a lot about both.

Dogs or Cats: Cats.

- LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Lie: As needed. If it’ll get her her way, absolutely.

Believe in Yourself: Not really.

Believe in Love: In theory, but she’s unsure if she can ever find it for herself.

Want Someone: She found a really handsome guy living down in the Whitespring Bunker, and immediately got fixated on him, though she tries not to show it. (No it’s not MODUS it’s @mojave-musing​‘s Sam.)

- LAYER SIX: HAVE YOU EVER?

Been on Stage: Not formally, but she likes to karaoke and whatnot.

Done Drugs: She drinks socially, and has probably used some chems in desperate situations, but not recreationally.

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: Not to fit in per se, but to try and be the perfect person she’s always striving to be.

- LAYER SEVEN: WHAT’S THEIR…

Favourite colours: Pink and red.

Favourite animal: Cats.

Favourite book: I don’t read as much as I’d like to, so I don’t have a big mental library to pull from... Something classical and intellectual, probably about sad rich people or something. Somebody who can read help me out

Favourite game: She likes card games, especially ones with bluffing. She’ll clean out the whole table.

- LAYER EIGHT: AGE

DOB: August 21st, 2079

How Old Will You Be: As of Reclamation Day, she’s 23.

Age You Lost Your Virginity: 15

Does Age Matter: Absolutely. Young men need not apply.

- LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: accomplishment, socializing, and decadence.

I feel: fine. (Like she’s walking on a tightrope of adequacy.)

I hide: nothing. I have nothing to hide. (Her feelings and vulnerabilities.)

I miss: material comforts.

I wish: things were a bit less roughing-it. I hate having to beat wild dogs to death with a baseball bat every time I go outside.

[dogcopter]

[novantinuum tumblr com post 611767607081713664/][novantinuum tumblr com post 611764379084636160/]

first link has: “she was on the road to redemption in my mind. I believe redemption is a journey with no endpoint. There’s no day where you wake up and are 100% redeemed. It’s something you work at every day, trying your hardest to be the best possible version of yourself you can be at every moment you exist. She cannot continue that journey now, because of her choice to make Steven- and in many ways, that’s pretty tragic.”

second link is that fanart w has a tag: “ i don't believe rose as a character is incapable of redemption theoretically but as she is DEAD- yeah she's unable to be redeemed. unable to continue that redemption i mean”

Ok this will be MUCH MUCH longer than you likely want but let’s take a minute to talk about this. Because this aspect of Rose meta is a huge part of the conclusion of Steven Universe, and the other half of Steven’s story I’m most excited for.

Responding to this question of Rose being unable to change is implicit to the Rose is Lion theory and it’s really at the heart of the story. I genuinely don’t read a better or more consistent explanation for the pieces right now, so I operate under the assumption Rose is Lion and we are headed for the legendary impossible Rose redemption arc - the conversation changes if she’s really gone, so we’ll get there if that’s the case, but I also think that tragedy was honored quite beautifully in Steven Universe. I think the note Future will end on is instead, it’s never too late to change (Rose), it’s ok to not be sure what’s next (Steven), but you will be ok if you have love in your life and work towards the future. Unfridging the absent mom character is a big cartoon trope flip too.

I agree with the OP regarding SU’s idea of redemption. An SU “redemption arc” means the character reaching some kind of catalyst to choosing a change. They change some behavior that has caused them and/or others pain. They want to more fully express themselves and to be connected to those around them, and through some process or journey have understood no one is all-bad or all-good, but each action is a choice and each of us has impact on others. 

This is what my url and the “Rosedemption” 2020 tag refers to as I anticipate it - not “redemption” in the sense that she’s bad and becomes good or that her mistakes are overwritten or we get a perfect everything’s OK happy ending. SU does hope and does cartoon anime fanservice and the power of love, but it doesn’t do that. Agree or disagree with whichever individual story choices and character decisions you feel a way about, but I think we can all acknowledge that SU doesn’t try to simplify interpersonal relationships to black-and-white.

So rosedemption is redemption only in the sense that she is understood and chooses to take a step forward. Like how “Peridemption” describes the process of Peridot trying to learn, coming to love the Earth and embrace her personality. At the end of Steven’s story, Rose, like the others in the cast who have a place in his life, will join them in having the potential to be herself, have her innate capacity to be good recognized like everyone else, and have the chance to break a pattern of behavior she has become trapped in as well. She won’t be absolved of all her mistakes.

When pursuing the theory it was like a daisy chain of if-then. The explanation for Lion’s behavior and knowledge that makes the most sense is Lion being Rose. Fact. The next question is then: -> Is that possible given the mechanics of the universe? Yes - Steven demonstrates every power necessary, including going into other people’s bodies. Next question. -> If Rose is in fact astral projecting into Lion’s body, it’s possible she’s also responsible for the dream weirdness, is it also possible she’s in other bodies (melons)? Yes - all still in Steven’s moveset. (The thing that turned me on to the idea was that scene in Escapism, so I worked backwards a bit - but it makes sense, because we only get certain information later that illuminates pieces from earlier) -> But if Rose isn’t dead, where is the story going? 

IMO this is why people don’t entertain the idea so much, things have changed a lot, and it upends things we thought were settled. In theory terms I expect her to come forward because it’s the logical conclusion to her arc - she gets to choose to stop running and hiding, which was borne of her past, and if she’s back she can lift responsibility for her legacy from Steven’s shoulders.

It doesn’t erase what happened, though; Steven and Rose may be able to say they love each other, but maybe he’s not ready for a relationship after this void in the shape of her characterized his upbringing. Having her today doesn’t change the childhood he spent without her, and often, very lonely. Knowing she was looking over him in the way she thought would hurt him the least, doesn’t make finding out she was by his side caring for him as Lion & co. any less painful a truth to learn after childhood has already ended. Those feelings are going to come out on Steven’s end, but all they have to reach by the end of the series is a hopeful starting point that maybe someday they’ll both be in a better place. And maybe some things will never heal, you know - that’s OK - and not all of this will necessarily be explicit onscreen, we will have fanwork and meta to cover many of those infinite possibilities.

The whole first series was devoted to the CGs dealing with her death and growing after the loss of her. Does Rose coming back cheapen that? I don’t think so - what happened happened. Those things the first series went through were real. In fact, giving up her physical form and then being Lion are additional decisions made with best of intentions but enormous fallout for others, the crux of Rose’s struggle to be better when continuously she hurt people too. SU is always committed to showing how people are people and in part respond to their circumstances and the systems of society and family they were born into. As far as condemning or glorifying her actions, I don’t think SU asks either of us because of this very framing, but of course any viewer has the right to. Will I ever forgive her for what she did to Bismuth? I don’t have to - Bismuth doesn’t have to - Steven doesn’t have to. All we’ll be asked is to understand her, which is all we��ve been asked all along. Each character has this aspect to them. 

That’s not to say any story is perfect, it’s told by people as imperfect as the characters they create. And different perspectives are not only valid but expected. Some folks will always hate Rose, or Lapis, or Pearl, or the Diamonds, some will love all of the above. Sometimes your favorite character is your favorite because something they felt spoke to something you’ve felt, sometimes you hate a character because of their actions or just because you wouldn’t get along with them socially. The people who respond to things that they think SU fell short on, will make more art and cartoons that continue that conversation. Can you weigh the good influences she had on Steven’s life against the bad and come out with a mathematical judgment of binary goodness/badness, or is it more like real life where they have to accept what’s happened and move forward from there? Do you reject that and write the fic of the story you prefer? 

So to me the Rose redemption arc raises all the hard questions Steven Universe has been porting over. Who are you to others and yourself? How do you know? Where do you go after you aren’t playing a role to someone else? When do you take responsibility for your actions? What’s the point at which you’re too late? Is there? How do you face the family who harmed you, when you’re so frightened you’d rather stop existing to escape them? How do you face the people you’ve harmed, even after they understand you? When you didn’t intend to? When you did? How do you move forward when a paradigm shift upends the narrative of your life, as Steven has been forced to do wrt Rose repeatedly? Does everyone get a chance to change? And why do you do what you do? Why fear? How to face it? Can you love yourself and love others? Does love win?

That’s something I find so exciting about this possibility. It changes the entire conversation, because both those who adore Rose and those who despise her have their reasoning, but the conversation is so oriented around her inability to change like everyone else. The conversation I’m most looking forward to goes past that stopgap. When it’s not the case that she can’t change, how do we see her now? After living through the consequences of her choices and coming to understand her better alongside Steven and the family, the thought is very personal, as it will be for Steven. That’s what enchants me about the signs pointing to Rose’s return. It’s complicated and messy, but ultimately hopeful! 

If the signs were not pointing to that but something else, I’m excited for that meta too, but we’ll talk as the month unfolds and destroys us.

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 10

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 4,286 for this chapter (45,795 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

"Daniel?"

Dan blinks. He blinks again, zoning back into the conversation he's supposed to be a part of.

"Er," he says, sheepish. "What was the question?"

"Are you sure you're feeling okay, Daniel?" the woman asks - the interviewer asks, fuck, this is like the sixth time he's asked her to repeat herself. "I heard you were ill yesterday, weren't you?"

He wasn't. But that is what Jaime and Patrick had sworn up and down to anyone who asked, because they're good partners in crime like that. They look like they regret it now.

"Yeah, Daniel," Jaime says, stressing his name in a way that makes Dan think she's one more fuckup from smacking him in the back of the head. He'd probably deserve it, at this point. He can't remember being this scatterbrained in his whole life, and that's saying something. "You sure you're okay being out of bed?"

The word 'bed' gets stressed too, just a bit, and Dan feels a flush creeping up his neck.

It's honestly unreasonable how he can't seem to focus on the task at hand, which is answering softball questions about the show he's worked on for three years, because his mind keeps drifting back to Phil.

Phil, who he'd left in bed with Thor, all sleepy noises and grumpiness at Dan needing to leave. Phil, who has the day off and might still be mostly naked and lazy while he waits for Dan to come back. Phil, who he only has three days left with.

Three more days in London. Two sleeps. And Dan has shit to do every single goddamn day of it.

This is a work trip, technically. They've got a handful of interviews the next two days that couldn't be scheduled for their first London stretch, and then they're going to France. That's exciting, it is, a mark of success that Dan never expected for himself, but right now he's frustrated by anything that cuts into the time he could be using to kiss Phil.

Dan is so busy remembering how Phil's mouth had felt against his that he forgets to answer the question. He can practically feel his eyes glaze over.

"Daniel," Patrick says, audibly exasperated.

It takes a lot to get Patrick to that point, so Dan ducks his head and mumbles another apology.

"He's fine," Jaime tells the very nice and concerned interviewer whose name Dan has long forgotten. "He's just got a lot on his mind right now and he's really shit at multitasking."

"Hey," says Dan. It's a weak protest.

The interviewer is a tall woman with kind eyes that crinkle into laughter lines when she smiles at him. She's dressed casually, has a denim jacket with patches and pins all over it, and Dan feels his eyes linger at the rainbow on her pocket.

What is that like? To be so certain and so confident that you can wear it on your sleeve even in a professional environment? Dan doesn't know that he'll be able to get there.

He wants to compliment her on it. It's the same urge he had in the restaurant with Phil's family, vocalizing that he wishes he could wear more nail polish. The same swirling anxiety of being judged for it follows quickly, but this time it's amplified by the recording device in the interviewer's hand, the knowledge that anything he says right now will be analyzed to death later.

Dan wants to live authentically, and he wants to get to a place where he doesn't need to hide, but he's frustrated by the reality of how much progress that's going to take. It's not going to be easy, it already hasn't been, and it's never going to stop.

Even with making a name for himself and having an audience, Dan knows that coming out publicly still won't stop strangers from making assumptions about him or demanding an explanation for the women he's been seen with. He'll have to come out over and over and - it's scary. It's really scary.

The compliment catches in his throat. He can't say it to someone recording him, no matter how kind her eyes are. He hasn't even told his grandma yet.

"I like your jacket," he says instead. He feels like a coward for it.

"Thanks," the woman says brightly, looking down at herself and tapping one of her bigger patches. "Customized it myself, obviously. It's a wee bit more colourful than you like to be seen in, right?"

The casual chirping helps Dan relax, reminds him that this is a laid-back interview with easy questions. Nobody is shining a heat lamp on him and asking for an expose on how he spent part of last night inside of another man.

He grins and shrugs. "Yeah, alright, I wear a lot of black. Sue me. I can still think colours look nice on some people."

Great. Now he's thinking about Phil again.

"Like Jaime," Patrick offers, tugging at one of Jaime's bubblegum braids. Dan still can't tell if it's a wig or not, but she smacks Patrick's hand away like it's her own hair.

"That's true," says Dan. "Jaime wears as much black as I do, though, I dunno that she's the best example."

Patrick nods, solemn. "At least her hair is interesting."

"Oi, fuck you. Sorry," Dan adds sheepishly. Even though this is an online print interview, he still feels a little bit of shame whenever he slips up and curses during an interview.

The woman - Cara? Catherine? Camilla? Ca-something? - just laughs and waves his apology off.

With an ease that Dan can't help but notice isn't quite as practised as Phil's, the interviewer moves on to questions about their other cast members. While they don't have any trouble making fun of each other, it's even more fun to exaggerate stories of people who aren't here to defend themselves.

Dan tries so hard to participate. He does. He laughs in all the right places and gives Jaime grief for not remembering something right, because he's given this poor interviewer nothing of substance. The thing is that Jaime is better at telling stories and Patrick is so dry and stoic with interrupting jokes that Dan knows he isn't needed for this. He lets them bicker over a story detail that he's long forgotten and feels himself start to zone back out.

He listens to Patrick's slow timbre, Jaime's trill of a laugh, and lets his mind drift back to where it wants to be.

--

Even though it's tempting, Dan isn't stupid enough to text Phil in the middle of doing his fucking job. He has to resort to checking his phone between interviews and pictures, getting more and more pouty about the lack of response to the things he's sending throughout the morning. Phil must be having a lie-in, because it takes him a couple of hours to even see Dan's texts.

ugh i should have just stayed in bed

pls send thor pics

and you pics but like give me a heads up if your dick is out im at work

i dropped my coffee on jaimes lap fml shes gonna kill me

im just so distracted lmaooo

canft believe youre just asleep thats so rude

Oh nooooooo. I always cry over spilt coffee :( you want me to bring you one? I can come hang out for lunch!

The sweet text is accompanied by a photo of Thor asleep on the sofa, his little head pillowed on Phil's knee. Phil is wearing Dan's pyjama pants and - it's hard to tell for sure, with the way the photo is angled, but Dan thinks he's got the Friends shirt on. Frankly, that should be gross. Dan wore that shirt for way too long for it not to smell like, well, his sweat, and that is objectively not sexy.

Dan feels gooey warmth spread from his stomach outwards, anyway. Maybe it is gross, but it makes him happy to think about Phil's shirt smelling like him the way that his own Yeezy shirt still faintly smells like Phil. He covers his mouth with a hand so nobody milling around will see him grinning like an idiot.

thats ok, Dan texts back one-handed. yall look comfy you should stay. i'll b back for dinner and snuggles ok?

Ok! ^_^

God, but Dan wants to be there now. He wants to be the one cuddled up with his head in Phil's lap. He recognises that it's very stupid to be jealous of a dog, but he isn't going to let that stop him.

"Hey, Howell." Patrick's voice interrupts the daydream of slender fingers carding through Dan's hair.

Dan blinks. He blinks again, looks up.

"I didn't even see you sit down," Dan tells him, bemused. They're sharing a bench in the building's lobby, not wanting to go too far in case they need to go back upstairs for more photos during the short break in their day.

"Yeah, you're on another planet," says Patrick. Dan wishes he could argue that fact. "Things went well with your whole Love Actually emergency, then?"

The reference pulls Dan up short. He feels his brow furrow as he walks through the entire film in his head. "What are you talking about? None of this happened in Love Actually."

"It's British, isn't it," Patrick says nonsensically.

"I don't," Dan starts, but then he gives up. He and Patrick are close as coworkers - friends, even - but Dan never quite understands the links that Patrick's brain makes. "It went well. It went really well. I don't know if Jaime told you everything I texted her, but I like... fully ended up meeting the family."

Patrick's eyebrows raise slightly. That's quite a reaction, from him. "You met the parents? Bro. You just started dating."

They're not in an overly crowded area, but people keep waking by them on their way in or out of the building, so Dan is pleasantly surprised to discover that Patrick can play the pronoun game, too.

"Yeah," says Dan. He doesn't want to get into the mix-up right now. He's sure that Patrick will have another incomprehensible reference when he hears about it. "But it just feels... I dunno. Right? In a way other people haven't? Maybe that's obvious."

"It's not obvious," says Patrick. He's snapping a hair elastic around his wrist idly, the gesture something Dan had thought was an expression of annoyance or frustration when they first met. Dan knows now that it means Patrick is tired, that he wants to shove his hair off his shoulders and stop it from tickling his neck. They're only halfway through their day, though, still a couple of photoshoots to get through, so he can't put his hair up just yet.

Dan knows so much about these people. He's learned it all from such close proximity for the past three years, but he also genuinely likes spending time with them. He feels, suddenly, very guilty for wishing cancellation on this thing they've all worked so hard for.

"Sorry," Dan says.

"For what?"

He doesn't really know how to voice it. He shrugs. "For being a shit coworker right now."

Patrick gives him an indecipherable look and shakes his head. "Daniel," he says, "you're not being a shit coworker."

"I kind of am, though," says Dan. "Like I can't focus at all, I'm missing interviews, and I... I don't know how much I want to go back to Atlanta. Is that bad?"

"Why would that be bad?" Patrick hums. "This is your home."

Home isn't an easy concept for Dan to wrap his head around. He hadn't had a happy one for most of his life, hadn't been able to find somewhere that felt quite right ever since he escaped that. So it's a little disconcerting when Patrick's words settle into his chest and feel like indisputable truth.

"London is home," Dan echoes, wondering it it feels just as right coming out of his own mouth. It does. His head is spinning, a bit.

"Yeah," Patrick says, like it's that easy.

Dan gives himself a little shake back into the present. He smiles, wry. "Still, I probably shouldn't be crossing my fingers under tables for the producers to shut us down."

For a moment, Patrick looks confused. Dan is all ready to apologise again, shove those feelings down, but Patrick just says, "So negotiate your contract. You know that you aren't required by law to see the show through to the end, right? You can just not come back for season four, or only come back for a couple episodes instead of a full season."

They're sat in a fairly public area, with other people walking about, but Dan could hear a pin drop in the shattering silence that rings in his ears at Patrick's use of logic.

"I," says Dan, "did not think of that."

Patrick nods. "You kind of tunnel-vision sometimes, has anyone ever told you that?"

--

By the time Dan returns to Phil's building, he's talked himself into and back out of quitting his job a dozen times. It's a dumb decision, but not much dumber than simply waiting for someone else to make the decision for him.

He decides to call Amy when he's in France and talk the options through with her. She's already looking for potential gigs in the UK for him, so hopefully the conversation isn't going to come as much of a surprise to her. The last thing he needs is for his agent to get upset with him over making changes in his life.

Dan's head is buzzing with it, loud enough to give him a headache. He texts Phil that he's outside and waits to be let in. He gets an intrusive domestic fantasy of letting himself in with his own key, and reminds himself to rein in this U-Haul bullshit.

"Hey!" Phil beams as he opens the door and steps back for Dan to come in. Other people live on the other floors, but Phil still leans in for a long kiss the moment the door closes behind Dan.

It sends sparks up Dan's spine and quiets some of the unending noise in his head. He sighs, leans into the kiss, wraps his arms around Phil's waist to pull him even closer.

He's cognizant of where they are, though, so he pulls back to rest their foreheads together after a moment. "Hey yourself."

"Did you have a good day?" Phil asks, his tri-coloured eyes bright and unguarded.

"Yeah, but it's better now," says Dan. He's parroting what Phil said to him yesterday, and he can tell that Phil recognises it from the little smile on his face. "You look nice. You showered just for me?"

Phil laughs and tugs at Dan's wrist, pulling him down the stairs. They've got four left feet between them, honestly, so it's a miracle nobody takes a nosedive.

"Yeah," he says as they narrowly avoid any number of broken bones. He presses Dan against the wall next to his front door and grins at him. "But it was also for the judgey moms at the dog park. You look nicer, you didn't take the makeup off?"

To be honest, Dan had forgotten it was even on his face. He settles his hands on Phil's hips and smiles. "They made me look like the best version of me, why would I erase all their hard work?"

"Mm, you do look pretty," Phil says, and Dan is lucky to have his back against a wall. His knees might have actually buckled at the praise if he was unsupported.

"Pretty, huh?" Dan asks. He tries to keep his tone dry, like it's a big joke, but Phil's big eyes just see too much.

"Very pretty," says Phil. Dan doesn't know how to handle being complimented by Phil's deep, sincere voice, but he isn't given much of a chance to react before Phil is speaking again. "But I don't know that I'd call this the best version of you. You looked really nice when you came, y'know."

"Fuck, Phil," Dan laughs, a little breathless. "I was literally gone for ten hours."

"Ten hours too many," Phil grumbles.

Dan laughs again, but he has to admit that Phil has a point. The day had absolutely dragged on with the knowledge that his probably-boyfriend was waiting for him.

"You wanna go inside, then?" Dan suggests, running his thumbs just under the hem of Phil's clean shirt. "I'll do a lot of things, but this floor is cement, mate. I'm not blowing you out here."

The giggle that's surprised out of Phil makes Dan smile so wide it hurts his cheeks. He smacks the center of Dan's chest lightly and steps back to let them both into his flat. "I was thinking we could, like, order dinner first or whatever, but I'm not going to complain if you want to switch up the itinerary."

"The itinerary," Dan mocks, looking around for a ball of fluff running directly at them as he struggles with his shoes. "Uh, where's Thor?"

"Uh," says Phil. There's colour high in his cheeks that he tries to hide by flopping onto the sofa. The sweats he stole off of Dan don't really leave much to the imagination at all, not when he's sitting like that, and Dan almost loses his balance when he stands up straight. The pink doesn't leave Phil's face, but a knowing smirk joins it. "He's in the bathroom."

Dan's heart skips like an old CD player and he laughs to mask just how fond he is. "Uh huh, and here you are acting like you were really ordering food first."

"Well," Phil says, his smirk growing, "we could still order first, it'd be at least twenty."

"Sounds like a challenge," Dan hums, coming around the sofa to sit on the other end and lean forward, kissing the sliver of skin where Phil's shirt is riding up. "Why don't you do that, and I'll go get a bloody condom."

Phil blushes, proper blushes, and pulls a packet out of his pocket. "Ta-da," he jokes, weakly. "For my next trick -"

"If you say you're going to make your penis disappear," Dan says, flat, "then I'm walking out."

They just look at each other for a long moment, like a staring contest neither of them initiated, and then Phil snorts. That sets them both off and soon enough they're laughing, Dan's nose tucked against Phil's hipbone and Phil's hand over his mouth.

"I wasn't going to say that," Phil insists, still giggling. "I wasn't."

"Sure you weren't." Dan grins up at him and slides up his body, a little less graceful than he'd imagined it in his head. He presses their smiles together and licks into Phil's mouth. A little noise passes between them when Phil's hands find their way into Dan's hair, but Dan isn't sure which of them it comes from.

The giddy feeling of laughter doesn't leave Dan's chest. He lets it make a home there as he trails kisses all over Phil's long, pale neck. He doesn't need to guess when Phil likes something - he squirms and makes these little huffs of noises, grip on Dan's curls tightening just a bit before it loosens again. It feels impossibly powerful to learn how to take Phil apart like this, like they're teenagers snogging on the sofa in their first relationship.

It's strange that this does feel like a first relationship for Dan, in a lot of ways. He loved his first girlfriend and cared about other women he's dated, but it's not the same at all.

Finally, Dan is allowed to feel all the things he's supposed to have felt when he was younger. He's allowed to let budding affection and lust and friendship all wrap up in one person.

"So, the piercings," Dan murmurs, letting his hand slide up Phil's shirt to toy with one of them.

"What about them?" Phil asks. He already sounds impatient and needy, like he had last night, and the sound of it goes straight to Dan's dick.

Dan laughs and sits up, helping Phil get his shirt off over his head. "I mean, do they do things for you? Do they feel good when I touch them? How do you want me to touch them to make them feel good?"

"Do you always ask this many questions during sex?" Phil asks, dry.

There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I tend to babble." Dan gives him a winning smile and taps at Phil's hips, a silent request for him to lift up. Phil does happily, arching up for Dan and letting his stolen sweats get tugged off. "Guess you'll have to shut me up somehow."

Phil laughs, muffling the sound of it with his palm, and shakes his head. He looks so fucking gorgeous like this, giggly and naked and starting to get hard against his thigh. Dan has no idea how he got this lucky.

"That's such a terrible line," Phil informs him, grinning wide. He doesn't seem bothered by Dan being dressed when he isn't. He just settles back against the cushions and wiggles a bit, either trying to get comfortable or just teasing Dan. Either is possible at this point.

"It's not a line," Dan protests, shrugging his jacket off and settling back between Phil's legs. He presses his mouth to Phil's soft tummy and, unable to help himself, blows a raspberry.

Phil kicks out at him, instinctive, and his tongue is trapped between his teeth as he tries to hold back giggles.

"My nipples aren't sensitive," Phil tells him, voice wavering with some combination of amusement and arousal. He drops a hand to wrap around his own cock, thumbing at the metal on the tip of it. "This is. It, like, tugs. It's nice."

Biting back a groan at the sight, Dan digs around for the condom. He impatiently knocks Phil's hand out of the way to get him hard enough that he can roll it on. The piercing just above his balls settles nicely at the bottom of the latex, almost like it's holding it in place. Dan rolls it between his fingers, watches Phil's eyes flutter closed. "And this one?"

"Not as much. Still good, though." Phil's tongue darts out to lick his lips, and Dan grins at the unconscious reminder of what he's meant to be doing.

It's not the most comfortable for them to be laid out on the sofa like this, lanky as they are, but Dan isn't nineteen anymore. His knees do not hold up the way they used to. He wraps his hand around the base of Phil's cock and lets the tips of his fingers idly play with the metal bar as he finally gets his mouth on Phil.

Dan isn't used to the taste of latex accompanying a blowjob, but it isn't unpleasant. He gives Phil a couple of long licks and then sucks lightly at the head, not sure how much pressure Phil likes yet.

That's something he thinks he'd love to learn. He wants to know everything about Phil's body, wants to make him tremble with it.

Dan is extremely offended when he glances up and sees that Phil is tapping something on his phone, but the offense settles when Phil huffs a laugh and says, "Put in for takeaway. All yours, now."

The phone gets put down and Dan tongues at the bump of Phil's Prince Albert ring through the condom. That makes Phil's breath hitch, his hips jerk just a bit.

It's been years since Dan has had a cock in his mouth, but he likes to think it's like riding a bike. He takes Phil deep, hollows out his cheeks, repeats any motion that makes Phil let out soft groans. He forgot how much he likes this, fuck.

Much like everything else, it's somehow impossibly better with Phil.

Phil keeps a hand in Dan's hair and braces the other on the back of the sofa, breathing hard, and Dan doesn't want to close his eyes and miss a fucking moment of this.

"Fuck," Phil breathes, and Dan responds with an answering moan around his dick. "Yeah, alright, that's - fuck, Dan, you feel so good, look so pretty like that."

The praise still makes Dan shudder. He sucks Phil harder, feeling the weight of Phil's cock on his tongue as he speeds up his movements.

Dan remembers blowjobs to be pretty fast. He also never gave one to a man older than twenty, though, and his jaw starts to ache once he realises that Phil isn't going to be pushed over the edge as quickly as he's used to.

He pulls off to give his jaw a break, stroking Phil and pressing his open mouth along the side of him.

"You think I feel nice?" Dan laughs, pleased by the way the gust of air makes Phil's cock twitch. "Fucking, forgot how good this feels."

"Yeah?" Phil prompts, his voice deep and breathy and so, so nice to listen to. No wonder he's so successful on the radio. "You like sucking cock?"

Dan shivers. "Yeah," he says. He's unashamed, because he feels safe here with Phil. He can admit to liking a cock in his mouth, a hand in his hair, being called pretty. "Yours specifically, though."

Phil laughs. "That's good. I like specifically your cock, too." He looks over at his kitchen for a moment and raises his eyebrows. "I'll get dressed and answer the door when the pizza gets here if you can make me come in the next five minutes."

Well. Never let it be said that Dan Howell backs down from a challenge.

[jasperlion]

[ Maybe someday I should write about how Alm and Celica’s stories are both cautionary tales that end up turning their world inside out and upside down. 

For Celica, her self martyrdom and need to protect others except herself lead to a horrible situation she almost could not get back from — and her need to take all burdens herself and not communicate with others resulted in her being unable to want to take their words/opinions in her belief that it was for the best of everyone. She tried to be levelheaded and see the bigger picture for what it was to make the best choice for everyone, and managed to miss the trees in the forest when being driven to that point by Jedah (who made sure to warp her perception of events so she’d agree— she wasn’t stupid, she was lead to that point until she no longer denied what she was being shown).

For Alm, his denial in the face of something that contradicted what he thought was true (which started as curiosity that was shut down (wrt Clive and Mycen both shutting out talk of what the old man had to say), then continued on to his denial of what the Royal Sword’s behavior could mean, Desaix’s last words, etc), only for everything he believed in to fall apart when he can no longer escape the truth and it hits him in the face— in the form of committing patricide. In trying to believe in something, and someone (Mycen’s words since he was but a child), he tried to blind himself to what was slowly showing to be the truth, because who else do you believe? Those who raised you. 

In a sense, their arcs are a little opposite too— Celica was skeptical but driven to believe what she was being shown as true, and Alm was skeptical and forced himself to remain so even through all he was being shown that proved the opposite. Celica grew to believe a lie she was fed very meticulously, and Alm refused to accept little incidents that slowly told him the truth he didn’t want to see. In a way, it makes neither of them absolutely right. Like the tale of Mila and Duma, extremes lead to a downfall, although Alm’s extreme was... more extreme than Celica, who tried her darnest to be skeptical until she saw proof herself — it’s just that the proof was so convincing with twisted words that she had the integrity to accept she was wrong (when she wasn’t). While Alm believed and trusted in Mycen so much that he didn’t want to believe that all of his life was built on a lie.

Idk this got wordy already, so basically Ive talked about it, but I want to go into it in better detail/w evidence/etc someday. It’s a very interesting, opposing character arc that goes into other aspects of them too:  -The too emotional vs the too stern with her emotions  -The one foisted into leadership vs the one who took the role herself  -Alm questions his truth first and then firmly denies it after while Celica firmly denies Jedah’s words first then questions her conviction after  -both spurred on their journey by mostly opposing forces (army vs conviction)  -their visions being contradictory/opposite at first due to the lack of context Mila gives (utter death if Alm does not partake in the war vs Alm’s death and that of those he loves should he partake in the war)— wow, I even need to expand on the visions themselves and why the aren’t contradictory even if they seem to be  -Celica showing more Duma-like characteristics despite her Mila devoutness and brand (showing no mercy to pirates/bandits and having no hesitation to leap into battle) while Alm shows more Mila-like characteristics despite having Duma’s brand and teachings of war[through Mycen] (trying to be forgiving and kind no matter what, being more lead by his emotions, trying to talk his enemies out of conflict repeatedly)   -yadda yadda yadda  They have always been opposites, in hands, in brand positions, in palletes, and even in personages they display (especially with Alm taking the more traditionally feminine role in a story and Celica taking the more traditionally masculine one, both subverting expectations and making them double opposites in that aspect), and it’s always been a point of interest to me ]

[frogspawned]

Sorry to make most of this about the sad stink man’s issues, but Nott (light of my life) has So Much going on but I can’t even parse my feelings yet. Reincarnation\polymorph\Nott Single-White-Female-ing a dead halfling woman theories all have compelling points to them. My heart wants her to be a goblin because I love goblins, I love ‘evil’ races being played against type instead of as a monolith, and her character makes sense as a goblin, and less so as a halfling cosplaying a goblin. I don’t know which way this is going to go, which is exciting and intriguing but!! I’m so worried about her. She’s the reason I got instantly attached to CR2 when I couldn’t connect with CR1. The second she started screeching in the first episode I knew she was the one. Also think it’s a shitty situation all around, but like... I get why she outed Caleb’s tragic past™ when his secrets could actively mean life or death for Yeza. It was Not Great to do but also completely and utterly understandable. She’s panicking and drunk and already emotionally compromised, like dang.

This being said, dear golly gosh I hope that if Caleb does a full lore drop on the party, please let someone not give unconditional love and acceptance. I mean, it’s fine! Nott was a given (at the time) and I LOVED Beau’s reaction/further development of their friendship from there. It was great! And the tension of people talking at each other without hearing each other is wonderful. I would expect Jester to be roughly the same (esp wrt ‘you can be evil as long as you aren’t evil to me’. god. jester is the best.), and maybe Yasha (I think it’ll depend on whether or not Ashley is there) could be along the same lines (??? ashley come back), maybe not as unconditionally. but like, Fjord? Cap’n’Fjord ‘parental issues for days’ Tusktooth? Ohh boy I want that.

Yeah, he had a false memory implanted about his family. One memory. And that was all it took for him to murder them, the people who raised him, who he claimed to love? He wasn’t mind controlled, it wasn’t a Suggestion – he wanted to do it and he did. No second thoughts until the screaming started. I want Fjord to get what Caleb is saying to the others, and hold it against him like Caleb wants. I want him to question Caleb’s group loyalty like he did before. What was the gain for their murder? Approval from an authority figure, power, what? If he can do that to his own family, what could he be convinced to do to these nobodies he’s been kicking around with for a few months? That’s a legitimate fear, from the outside looking in.

Or Caduceus, like!! Can you imagine? These little flashes of cold, perceptive Clay we get – ‘pull your weight’, cutting Gustav loose, etc – being turned on Caleb? Caduceus is crazy perceptive and judgmental, rightly or wrongly, in a really offbeat, fascinating way. I don’t know which way he would lean – his whole there aren’t good and bad people, you do good and bad things etc -- but like. Destroy me emotionally. Do it.

Caveat that I understand that Caleb was a child soldier who was brainwashed, and like, the general amorality of children/peer pressure/authority was at play. It’s all not real until it is, you know. It’s an emotionally/morally complex thing; how responsible is someone who does something like that for what is essentially a cult (of personality?). You still did it. Even if it was something you would not normally do under different circumstances. You felt bad after but you still chose to do it. And people generally want to defend and protect people they like, so I get where the unreserved forgiveness is coming from. I just want varied reactions and that sweet sweet angst that I crave. Sorry to put Fjord on blast, i love him, i do, but his track record isn’t. the best.

[dornishsphinx]

T, U, and Y!

T: Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Hmmm hard and fast headcanons that I’d die defending

From SOV, Conrad’s mother was a lady-in-waiting and close friend to Berkut’s mother who came with her to the capital when she married into the royal family. Lima was invited to the capital during the famine because the Rigelians were desperate. He saw her there and demanded she come with him in exchange for aid. (I may also be writing a fic on Conrad’s mother, watch this space ^_^)

Wrt Tellius, the United Bird Tribes eventually fall apart, the specific breaking point coming about due to arguments about over succession. The ravens end up putting forward Naesala and Leanne’s raven son and the hawk population are adamant that he not be considered (some going as far as to say that ravens in general shouldn’t be considered) due to lingering anger, the ravens getting angry in turn and moving to once again declare the independence of Kilvas (and taking a bit more territory with them this time since they’re in a stronger position.)

When it comes to Naesala and Leanne’s kids, the heron girl mostly takes after Naesala in personality, though the raven boy is more similar to Reyson than either of his parents (both also have traits from Leanne, but they’re less noticeable on first impression.) Both can sing galdr due to their mother but, especially for the raven boy, its effects are far weaker. (Maybe let’s say in gameplay terms that raven boy can buff and not actually refresh.) 

Their heron daughter on one occasion also accompanies Naesala on a diplomatic mission to Begnion, where she decides to learn beorc magic—with Sanaki’s blessing and occasional direct tutelage—as a way to bypass herons’ inability to fight the laguz way, even staying there for a while when he leaves for his next destination. This is a major scandal in the laguz world.

U: Three favourite characters from three different fandoms and why they’re your favourites.

Oh man, it took me a while to settle on who to talk about, but:

Jason Todd (DC Comics)

Jason is the reason I got into DC generally, so I was already biased, but Jason is interesting because he’s a counterpoint to the idea that Batman knows Gotham City better than anyone, as someone who actively grew up on its streets rather than in the safety of a mansion, and someone who came to a vastly different conclusion on what had to be done to make it safer without being painted (mostly) as a clear-cut villain. Also, he’s a literary nerd and it’s such a cute little detail which is never really brought up explicitly on page but is a recurring thing in the background. The antique book collection in UTRH, reading Pride and Prejudice while in jail, really liking school as Robin, and in other bits I can’t remember the context of. 

Where he gets fascinating is on a meta level though. We have the juxtaposition between what modern writers want Jason’s Robin to have been (I really love his run as Robin too, he’s such a cutie in comparison to what he becomes later) and how he actually was written, which kinda comes off as the characters themselves trying to convince themselves of something that isn’t true. And I’ve seen complaints about how people treat his death as being so much more important than others’ deaths when he’d hardly the only DC character to die, but it’s precisely because of real-world circumstances that it’s such a big deal–killed off by poll, left untouched for decades, his costume an ever-present ghost in the Batcave and for the Batfamily–it’s one of those things that can only happen in a big shared comicsverse medium.

I’ll never forgive the New 52 for being the reason we never saw, and can never see now, the Batfamily and Red Hood’s relationship develop.

He just became an ally again randomly in a way that screams editorial mandating “make them get along now, we don’t care how.” They just made everyone do a 180 without bothering to explain why or how and I hate it.

(Also, imo, grey morality Red Hood>outright villain Red Hood AND outright hero Red Hood.)

Laurent (Captive Prince)

Man, I know Captive Prince is controversial, but the story is just so good and even though it’s been a while since I read them, Laurent as a character has stuck with me. (I mean, I adore Damen too, but so many of the character concepts

I’ve come up with since reading the books have been Machiavellian princes shutting themselves off from their emotions, I’m pretty sure Laurent is the source.)

He’s had to adapt to survive the personal hell his uncle transformed the Veretian court into when he (and Damen) got the rest of their family killed—and, at the same time, anyone with the power or desire to protect Laurent from him—when he was just a little kid, and has just built up all the walls around himself. Seeing them slowly peel back and reveal the other sides to him he’s been forced to keep hidden for so long is one of the great things about the series. He’s such a well-realised character, and as you read along, you get to the point where you just need to see him succeed in taking Vere back from his uncle.

He always has the best comebacks too. Nearly everything he says when he’s not awkwardly trying to work his way around emotions he can’t properly express, usually when around Damen, is just pitch-perfect sarcasm even in dire circumstances.

Just a great character overall.

Franziska von Karma (Ace Attorney)

Last time I talked about a favourite Ace Attorney character it ended up being Ema, but I did say she only just beat out Franziska, so it’s her turn now. I’m so sad she’s not reappeared in any of the main games since the original trilogy, though at least we have Investigations. She still has to give Phoenix that card back!

But yes, I just love Franziska. She is very much part of the running theme of legacy families in Ace Attorney with her need to attain perfection and measure up to the Von Karma name, and her relationship with Edgeworth is sweet in a super competitive way. When she comes back later and spends the night trying to solve the puzzle locks to save Maya, you can also see that she has gone through a lot of development over the course of JFA and T&T.

(I maintain that 6-5 would have been vastly improved if she’d taken Edgeworth’s place, and am not entirely convinced it wasn’t originally written with her in mind. I mean, last time she appeared she was undergoing character development and trying to save Maya in a spirit medium-related setting, and this time had Maya being in a perilous situation in a spirit medium-related setting in a foreign country AND she has a history of working with Interpol. It would have actually made sense for her to show up as opposed to the Chief Prosecutor of a foreign country.)

(Also her design is amazing)

(Foolish fool)

Y: What are your second-hand fandoms (i.e. fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Dragon Age is the big one I can think of. I played a little of Dragon Age Origins before Redcliffe became a never-ending zombie nightmare and I wasn’t able to progress, so I don’t count myself as having really played, but I pretty much know all the spoilers. And have even plotted out who I’m gonna romance when I finally do get around to it. Current plan: Alistair (while pouring one out for the F/F romance with Morrigan that could never be), Fenris and Josephine.

Also Marvel, kinda? I don’t really buy or keep up with Marvel comics anymore aside from going to see the movies. I’ll check it out, but usually it’s only on a whim. (If Agent of Asgard/JiM Loki ever get a run again, you can count on me jumping back in.)

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 16+17.08.18 lb

16.08.18 

LMAO, TU HAI KAUN AISI GUARANTEE DENE KO??????? ANIKA GAADI HAI KYA AUR TU USKA DEALER? 

yup, he was gonna say “main shaadi ALREADY kar chuka hoon” but caught himself in time in order to not complicate matters for her wrt marrying nikhil. 

BUT ARE NIKHIL AND HIS MOTHER BLIND? CAN’T THEY SEE SHE’S WEARING SINDOOR???????? SHE’S OBVIOUSLY MARRIED TO SOMEONE. you gotta be reaaaalllll dumb to not figure this shit out, you two. 

lmfao ok i think i might be a fan of nikhil’s mummy for that parting shot of doosron ko gyaan dena bada asaan hai. 

ohhhhhhhh man. these three are gonna be hellllllllla mad when they find out. 

“kya kaha tuney???” 

anika ke maan-sammaan-khushiyon ka rakshak is onnnnn the case! 

pfffffffffffft. iski shakl se hi pata nahi chalta ki kya kiya isne? 

you three were dumbasses to think that. they need SUPERVISED MEDIATION. aise akele chodoge toh aisa hi hoga. 

UGH SHIVAAY YOU ARE LITERALLY THE WORST. HAR SHAADI TUM KO ZABARDASTI HI KARWAANI HAI, MAJAAAAAL HAI JO TUM DULHAN SE POOCHO KI USSE KYA CHAHIYE. 

srsly, i am nikhil’s mom, who’s like why the fuckkkkk are you so involved in anika and nikhil’s shaadi. tu apna dekh na. 

great, he’s ready to fund it also. ek kaam kar, anika ka kanyaadaan bhi tu hi kar. itnaaaaaaa shauk jo chadha hai. 

yeah i have had it up to here with stupid singh oberoi. ugh. 

^^^^^ that’s the point i stopped watching at on the 16th. i literally rolled my eyes so damn hard that i decided it was better for my health if i gave up. 

okay! let’s try again! 

this nikhil ki ma is such a meesni. die bitch. 

ohhohohoho, anika is MOST definitely going to find about this eventually aur tab beta, tumhari khair nahi. i hope OU anika ki atma gets into her and she fucken beats you to death with her broken chameli. 

is anika ko job milkar kya faida? iske personal life ke chonchlon se isko time hi kahaan milta hai job par jaane ke liye? 

ugh why are you even picking up this idiot’s call??? you’re 0.0% interested in him. 

lmao gauri’s face. 

and gauri’s expression being paralleled here on shivaay’s face. 

DAMN GIRL THE EXCITEMENT. WHO IN THIS DAY AND AGE IS EVER THIS EXCITED TO GET AN ACTUAL PHONE CALL? 

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo oh man nikhil, samajh jao apni aukaat aur haisiyat. 

... what’s with the weird split-screening? that too, not perfectly in the middle and gauri’s awkwardly to the side and half cut off? matlab...??????? 

adorable munchkin. too cute, too pure. 

lol that "whooooooo boy” expression shivaay gave after nikhil left. 

holllllllly shit what’s with the hella bad green screen behind him???? that’s soooooooooo not the view outside anika’s house??? 

anika honestly girl, calm the fuck down. 

or don’t and tell him the truth; that you’re majorly into him.

 OH SHIT. OH NO SHE’S GONNA THINK HE MEANS HIS AND HER SHAADI WHILE THIS FUCKING IDIOT MAN IS TALKING ABOUT NIKHIL OH GOD AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CAN’T WATCH THIS I CAN’TTTTTTTTTT

JFC FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOU SHIVAAAY THIS IS FUCKING ENTRAPMENT. HONESTLY FUCK YOU TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL MAN. IDGAF ABOUT YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS. THIS IS BULLSHIT.

oh noooooooooo my poor girl she’s so happy oh god nooooooooooo.

JFC SHIVAAY YOU FUCKING IDIOT ARE YOU SO CLUELESS THAT YOU DON’T REALISE THAT THIS WOMAN IS HUGGING YOU IN AN ENTIRELY NON “DOST“ WAY RN????????????????///

oh suddenly he realises that perhaps he shouldn’t be hugging another man’s woman in this way.

notice neither of them are moving to untangle themselves though. still remaining all pressed up against each other. and you dumb fucks still say you don’t know “kya hai humaare beech”. 

sure. extreeeeeemely appropriate behaviour and manner of looking at a woman whose wedding you’re organizing to another man. A+. keep it up. 

all i can do at this point is hope gauri’s secretly taking pics and will make a presentation of her own at the next wedding attempt to nikhil. 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand he ruined it. 

sidenote: this is a nakuul smile, not a shivaay smile. 

cute smile aside, i really wanna slapppppp shivaay for how giddily happy he’s being at his own stupidity. matlab self-awareness naam ki cheez is bande ke aas-paas bhi nahi bhatki hai. 

anika, now would be a good time to take off your chameli. and channel all that khidkitodness you claim to possess. 

we already knew nikhil and his whole fam were shadyass fuckers. ainvayi ka dramatic reveal they’re showing, as if any of this is a completeeeee surprise to any of us. 

ANIKA WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YEH TOH CHUTIYA HAI HI, WHY CAN’T YOU JUST STRAIGHT UP TELL HIM THAT YOU DON’T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT NIKHIL?????? YOU DIDN’T EVEN THE FIRST TIME AROUND, LET ALONE NOW. 

... after happily leaping into his arms thinking he was proposing marriage, she’s saying “mujhe nahi pata meri khushi kis mein hai”??????????? godddddddddd she’s an even bigger fucking idiot than he is. 

OMFG IS MANDHBUDDHI KI BAKCHODI KHATAM NAHI HUI HE’S NOW GETTING DOWN ON HIS KNEES TO PROPOSE.... FOR NIKHIL. 

“mujhse shaadi karogi, anika?” 

aaaaaahaaa. freudian slip.

lmaoooooooo “bohut khush rakhunga main... nikhil... NIKHIL!” sure boo. ek baar hua, woh galti thi. baar baar jo hota hai... chalo chodo. tumse bolke bhi kya faayda. 

TFW you really can’t tell who the bigger idiot is in your relationship. 

... great. just great. yeh log bhi aa gaye. AUR CHACHI BHI. UGH. 

yup. i am that literal full body shudder that anika does every single time nikhil touches her. ICK. GET YO GRUBBY HANDS OFF MY GIRL. 

caaaaaaaasual smiley threat from shivaay about how he’ll literally destroy nikhil if he fucks up. best. 

they are me and i am them. not amused by any of this garbage. 

has this chachi really sudharofied? dare i hope? in any case, her toning down her overall personality is very much welcome. 

SHIVAAY I... YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU DID WHAT YOU HAVE TO, NOW PLEASE, JUST LITERALLY GTFO HERE. UGH. 

jali. billu ki jali. itni der tak idk where his fucking brain was, but it’s finally hit him. 

haan jaa beta, maarofy your hasty exit. go rub your literally aching chest somewhere else.

god you poor dumbass. i don’t even... ugh shivaaaaaaay, what are we even going to do with youuuuuu?????????? 

also sorry for untimely tharak but this blue suit is realllllllllllly working on him. especially in this lighting. brings out his eyes nicely.

also, somehow the makeup or whatever is better in this scene? his eyebags aren’t so prominent.

oh boy. khuddar waali anika jaag gayi hai. she’s come to question. 

“kyunki sab kuch aap decide karte hain na? na aapne mujhe tab poocha tha jab aapne mujhse zabardasti shaadi ki, na tab poocha jab aapne shaadi ko maanne se inkaar kiya, na aapne mujhse tab poocha jab divorce papers thamaa diye, na ab jab aapne nikhil aur uske maa se meri shaadi ki baat ki.” 

YAS CALL HIM THE FUCK OUT. 

“kyunki tum meri.... DOST ho.”

LMAO. APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. 

“meri shaadi ko dus din nahi hue... aur mera DOST meri doosri shaadi karwaana chahta hai. aapko lagta hai yeh sahi hai??”

GIRL YES FUCKING MURDER HIM. 

ah fuck. he’s losing it and almost in tears. fuck i’m kinda melting. he’s trying so hard. he’s objectively wrong, but he’s TRYING SO HARD. 

NO. DO NOT LEAVE IT ON FUCKING KISMAT, USE YOUR FUCKING BIG GIRL WORDS AND TELL HIM YOU DON’T WANNA MARRY FUCKING NIKHIL. JFC ANIKA. 

ugh you two idiotssssssssssssss. 

lord this tu jaane na makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork. the music of this whole redux truly sucks ass. 

17.08.18 

LMAO OM AS USUAL COMES THROUGH FOR ALL OF US, WITH THE FUCKING DISBELIEF AND RAGE AND WANTING TO THROTTLE BILLU. 

same here with gauri. god bless my sensible little chirraiyya. anika for fucks’ sake listen to her. honestly. 

lmao rikara’s faces at the whole “kismat” nonsense. tell me they take things into their own hands and become the “kismat” writers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

... itna toh yeh prinku ke shaadi ke liye bhi utaavla nahi tha jitna khud ki biwi ki shaadi karwaane ke liye ho raha hai. someone get this man some help. 

at least these two are having their fun! 

also tell me they have some kinda plan in place, and that’s why they’re so chill and happy. 

snort. 

oh boy. dramatic music says something’s gonna happen with the lights.

yup. isko jhatka lagne waala hai. in more ways than one; but right now mostly of the electric kind. 

oh ho nope! doosra jhatka first! 

sure. the way every wedding planner looks at the bride. like they wanna marry them themselves. 

god bless prinku and her sass 4ever. 

and these two and their beautiful faces! honestly, masha’Allah. 

“aapke bhaiyya satiyaa gayein hain. kya kar kya rahein hain????” lmaooooooooo

OMFG OMKI SHOMKI FINALLY MAKING SOME KINDA FUCKING MOVE. GODBLESS, HALLELUJAH! 

YES THEY’RE GONNA BE LIVING HEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE BUT RIKARA LIVING UNDER THE SAME ROOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!! 

lmao anika’s also started daant chabaana at this man and his fuckery. 

no literally who the fuck are all these fucking guests?????? 

OH MY GOD MY GIRL LOOKS SOOOOOO GOOOOOD. 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

i am literally putting nazar ka teeka on my laptop screen coz god, how beautiful are they!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

“tum theek ho?” eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, lo, the 4 Lions “i love you” bhi ho gaya! 

lolololol she’s the cutest.

oh ho, this prinku is on “tu” basis with rudra. meaning they’re around the same age. 

also finally, a throwaway line explaining where rudra is! 

god he looks so hot today, i can’t. 

lolllllllllllllllll prinkuuuuuuuuuuu. you really do thrive off putting your brothers in the most uncomfortable situations ever, and that too with the most insouciant look on your face. I FUCKING LOVE IT.

HOW DARE YOU TWO BE THIS BEAUTIFUL?????????? I CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT YOU STRAIGHT, IT’S LIKE LOOKING AT THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this girl also looking like fire today. the makeup is especially good. i love the glittery blue liner! 

of course. also situation is kinda sorta chaapofied from ipk. 

lmaoooooooooooooooo her face. 

yeah kismat is doing its thang. take the fucking hint. all three of you dumbasses.

meanwhile lol these two and their completely nonplussed faces.

great. nikhil ki mummy is starting her overacting. ouff. 

omkara: relax aunty, galti se hua hai. 

“kuch galtiyaan kitni khoobsurat hoti hai!” 

lmaooooooooooooooooooooooo she really is the best. 

AAAAAAAAAND THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL “KISMAT” BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

as much as i’m relishing her snark in pointing it out to him, i’m also mad as hell at her for going through with this garbage. ab kahaan gayi teri saari khuddaari bish???? you just gonna do whatever the fuck one man or the other keeps pushing you into???? 

ugh nikhil literally fuck off. can’t you see two beautiful people were having a moment here? no place here for uggos like you.

ugh this sad puppy. oh shivaay what even do we do with you?????? 

god i love omkara and his common sense and his not mincing his words. SO MUCH. words can’t even describe. #omkaraisbae 

(gosh i haven’t used that hashtag since like, the late 2016s???? i missed it!) 

oh suddenly NOW they notice the sindoor. she’s been wearing it for all these days with no maang tika or anything to cover it, tab kya aankhon mein button lage hue the sab ke????? 

... and the purpose of this is???????????????? 

LMAO HOW IS THIS ANY BETTER???? LIKE OK YOU STOPPED HER FROM TELLING THE SECRET BUT SHE LITERALLY RAN OVER TO YOU AND IS FUSSING OVER YOU NOT GIVING A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT NIKHIL AND HIS FAM.  

waise they should be used to it by now, na? pehli shaadi mein bhi toh isne yehi kiya tha. 

son honestly. what are you even doing. why are you fucking like this??? 

wow he gave up his own room for her to stay in? or are they staying together till the shaadi or...??? like scene kya hai boss??? 

billu this bs martyr complex of yours is getting reallllllly tiresome now. 

oh god noooooooooooooo not the fucking sindoor too. don’t you fucking dare!!!!!!!!

oh gooood. she called him out on it. literally doing whatever the fuck he wants with zero thoughts on what those symbols mean to her. fucking dumbass. 

“meri maang, mera sindoor, meri marzi main lagaoon ya na lagaoon...” GIRL IF YOU CAN BE SO ASSERTIVE RE: ALL THIS WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU JUST SHUT DOWN THIS WHOLE FARCE??????????? HONESTLY, MORE THAN SHIVAAY, YOU ARE GETTING ON MY LAST DAMN NERVE RN. 

[avicebro]

Didn’t he basically have to rewrite True Assassin’s character entirely when King Hassan came out?

Comprehensive list of things that Narita has had to change/might have to change because of Fate/Grand Order:

was told by nasu that he could use dantes and make him his own and then they just released a dantes servant. that’s why it takes up to the third volume for dumas to reference a possible dantes servant.

the way dumas talks about dantes despite the fact that dumas is on record saying he didn’t base dantes off of him or his father. 

was also told that he could use edison but then they release an edison in america:

*The following is condensed from exchanges that took place over a long period of time.*Me, before writing Fake: “What? Is it really okay if I write about the _____ in the fifth ______ in Fake!?”Nasu A: “Yes… Use it wisely.”Nasu B: “You can also use (material about Dumas’ novels)!”ME: “…”Nasu C: “Don’t hold back. Write as much as you want.”Me, while writing: “Hmm, yes… (This is juicy material… I’m sure no one’s used it yet)…”Nasu, wearing a gas mask: “Now announcing the Chateau d’If event and FGO chapter five!”Me, in March: “Gwaarrgh (It overlaps with a bunch of plot elements in Fake)! (Dies in agony.)”

- (volume 3 notes)

as such, despite the fact that true berserker is a lion/mech spider thing who hates lightning because it’s related to his enemy, narita now says it’s funny that we think that its true name is edison

had to wait a minimum of 4 months for babylonia to be released because “spoilers kill half the fun” (what the fgo scriptwriters told him) so he had to wait until babylonia came out to make sure that there wasn’t going to be extreme overlap or characterization problems since 3 of the characters in babylonia are integral to fsf

while true assassin is still shrouded in a lot in mystery i’m sure some elements of him would overlap with king hassan - ultimately him being “death” or the basis for it

like with dantes, he will have to write about penthesilea wrt to hippolyta. as it stands hippo’s death in fgo is different than in fsf as well.

napoleon - narita has already had to tweet about it. thankfully he won’t have to change the relationship with flat lol.

tristan’s interlude may be spoiling watcher 

There are probably more that I am forgetting.

The problem is that the fgo scriptwriters aren’t letting either Narita or Sanda (the author of Case Files) into the writing room. Sanda asked for at least 2 weeks in advance so that if anything needed to be fixed it could be (which is even more important for a series like Case Files) but was denied. As such when new chapters are being released Narita has to decide if he’s going to wait or fix it later - which he has to do anyways when they introduce characters that directly tie to ones in fsf.

This is because he wants to include as much of the TYPE-MOON universe as possible. Just read fate strange fake and you can count all of the references to other series. However, this can be taxing after a while.

I remember when Babylonia came out and people were upset at the lack of interaction between Enkidu and either Gilgamesh. The reason given was clear: well, isn’t that what fsf is for? And fans were angry lol. Blaming Narita for this. Saying that he was a cruel gatekeeper who was to blame for why these characters are not in grand order. That they would never be. 

Ultimately, I don’t think Narita has control over who gets added in grand order and who doesn’t. If the character would be good in a chapter and Morii can draw them, then nothing is stopping them. 

Grand order is switching between wanting to let Narita write his own story, by only making small references to characters like Richard, Prelati and Dumas, and then wanting to do whatever they want, by introducing characters that Narita has told Nasu that he was going to put in fsf. 

It should be noted that he has now written Enkidu’s interlude (and a very good one at that compared to other interludes!) so I’m hoping that this gives him more access to the writing room and lets him hopefully write a singularity or a FSF event.

All I’m saying is that after all that he’s had to deal with, I wouldn’t be surprised if he is indeed a little angry and his anger is totally understandable. 

[tuwasduwillst]

ch4 (pt 2)

Shuichi just logged off!

well, that’s probably why Miu’s avatar wasn’t moving.

i’m sorry, what

all of ‘em are in there already except for Kaito, who comes running in at the body announcement.

hm.

he actually would, he basically sentenced Kaede to death already and if he didn’t ~pursue the truth~ it’d be breaking his promise to her. he wouldn’t be happy about it or anything, but even if Kaito killed someone he’d tell the truth about it.

talking about stuff~ Kaito says he believes in Shuichi because he’s his sidekick and they’ll investigate together, etc.

Kaito says it’s not a problem because Shuichi isn’t the type to lie even if they work together, but since Kokichi’s being so persistent about it, he says that they won’t work together this time then.

Shuichi thinks that this is definitely some kind of trick of Kokichi’s, but he also knows that Kaito isn’t going to be convinced to just ignore him, so that’s how things are.

not a ton of information in the file. no external injuries.

apparently Kokichi’s going to be hanging around Shuichi to make sure Kaito doesn’t “bother him”. i’m fine with it! Shuichi is much less enthused.

if you spend so much time being suspicious of every little thing Kokichi does, all you’re going to do is wear yourself out, Shuichi! if he’s done something the damage is already done, so all you have to do is deal with it and figure things out.

let’s talk to people!

Tsugumi apparently saw Miu about 10 minutes before she approached Shuichi, and when she approached Shuichi was about the same time they heard that loud noise.

haha.

Maki was checking out the computer and found out that if someone’s avatar took fatal damage, they’d die from shock. that’s probably something that Miu should’ve told them from the start!

oh, Kokichi just brought up the fact that she didn’t tell them. now Shuichi’s wondering about that, too.

the red bear offers to help “avenge his mommy’s death” by checking to make sure the files haven’t been tampered with. they haven’t, and he also found something else:

log-in and log-out times! Kaito logged out well before everyone else (over an hour before anyone else), but otherwise nothing seems like it’s out of the ordinary.

oh, here it is bigger.

Kokichi was being mean to Gonta, so Shuichi stepped in, but after that...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  at least you’ve got another person actively helping the investigation now, i wouldn’t really worry about why it’s happening until it becomes a problem

and then they found Miu’s avatar. she’d apparently volunteered to check the outside of the chapel, so that’s why she was outside.

hmm. he says he didn’t look at Miu, so he doesn’t know if she was alive or not before he left.

why wouldn’t you look at everyone else after being logged out of something like that, wouldn’t you want to see if anyone else had been logged out at the same time?? who the hell has something like that happen and just goes “gee, better go take a nap and not look at any of the other people to check if anything’s gone wrong”?

it’s possible, especially since it’s Kaito, but what the heck.

anyway, moving on... Miu’s body being the way it is makes it seem like she died a painful death and that she might’ve been struggling to breathe when she died. strangulation?

okay, calm down, mister.

hey, it’s poison! from Shuichi’s lab, probably, like Kokichi is saying. apparently it’s a very lethal poison when ingested directly (not mixed with anything else), and it gives the victim bloodshot eyes.

Shuichi doesn’t know who brought it in for sure, but he does know whose chair it’s in right now.

you can say Kokichi’s name in your own mental narration, Shuichi, it’s okay. 

anyway, this might not be the crime scene, so they’ll have to go back to~

yes! Kaito says that he’s going along too, in that case. a handful of others say they want to go back as well; Maki, Gonta, and Kokichi say they’ll stay behind.

i wanna see your tiny little avatar again... Kokichi says he has to stay behind to keep an eye on Maki, since she and Kaito are so close.

Kaito predictably gets upset at pretty much everything Kokichi says, even though Maki tells him to just ignore him.

into the virtual world~

yeah, but the loading point is in the middle. it’s obvious that there’s a way to the left side of the map from the right, since the wooden sign went down the river and ended up getting stuck on a rock on the left side. also, when Tsumugi and Shuichi heard Kiibo, they looked to their left--so they can hear things from that side.

that’s just what you’re assuming, Shuichi!!

hey, i found that earlier and Shuichi wouldn’t look at it!

virtual crime scene! ...well, they’re all virtual crime scenes, i guess... since this is a video game...

the cell phone can log people out just by saying their name, so that’s important.

Kiibo overheard Miu and Kokichi talking about meeting on the roof before they all split up.

...did she go sliding off the roof and into the wall of the chapel? because if so, that’s terrible, but also kind of funny.

geez, Shuichi, what kind of a detective are you. the lattice was in here. you were standing right on it!

looking through the binoculars and Shuichi wonders why the map loading point would be in the middle. is it actually in the middle? if Miu made the maps, she can do whatever she wants with that kind of thing...

time to head back! Maki showed up and said that Monotaro is done with the computer stuff, so they should all gather back in the room. 

why would you ever want to draw something on his stomach...

anyway, Shuichi wants to ask him about his meeting with Miu.

there was a lock on the roof door that could only be locked and unlocked from the roof itself. Kokichi can pick locks in the real world, but idk if he’d be able to in the virtual world...

the hammer was the only weapon-like thing left, and it must have been left intentionally. the cellphone was in the simulation originally and Miu just never told anyone about it.

Miu’s avatar was classified as a “non-human object”. is that why she was able to get from one side of the map to the other? if the sign board can and it can go into the river, maybe it’s just because it’s an object.

oh, apparently Miu added a wall to the world. and yep, non-human objects can pass right through it, so that explains that.

also, Kokichi’s avatar had a setting that made it so that if Miu touched him, he’d be paralyzed.

and finally, there was a weird user error when they first logged in. Monotaro can’t get more specific about it than that, but something weird was definitely going on with one of their avatars.

with that last bit of information, it’s time for the trial.

it’s starting off well, clearly.

anyway, Kokichi says that Kaito poisoned Miu after logging out before everyone else, but obviously he didn’t. Kokichi himself made sure that Shuichi knew what that poison did (wrt eyes--Miu’s aren’t bloodshot).

the cause of death was the simulator. something happened to her in there.

Maki and Shuichi both think that she was strangled.

...was she strangled with the toilet paper???? nothing can break there, so it couldn’t have broken off even if it was used for something like that.

oh, hey, that’s the next question.

i mean, she wasn’t that bad. did i like her? not particularly, for the most part. would i say she deserved to get strangled by toilet paper? no.

...was Miu planning on killing Kokichi with the hammer? if she had it with her and Kokichi would’ve been paralyzed just by her touching him, that’s kind of shady. actually, that’s super shady, since she was the only one that knew about the hammer and the paralyzing thing AND she knew how to get rid of Kaito and put him on the roof intentionally. what the hell, Miu, Kokichi is obnoxious and said some terrible things to you, but that doesn’t mean you should kill him in VR.

and yep, it sure does look that way. the hammer gets brought up, since the toilet paper is pretty sure to be the murder weapon, and they ask why she had it.

apparently Miu was the one that asked Kokichi to meet her, so yeah, she was definitely going to try to kill him. and the poison was put in his seat so it wouldn’t be obvious what happened. Miu logged in two minutes after everyone else, so she had plenty of time to do it.

a mini debate about ~trusting friends~ happens again. once that’s done, everyone wants to hear from Kokichi, since he was supposed to meet with Miu and she ended up dead.

makes sense!

Shuichi stops everyone from arguing about how suspicious Kokichi is so that actual facts can be focused on. he wants to figure out the mysteries surrounding Miu’s death before they move on.

like, for example, how she got to the roof. she definitely was over there--Tsugumi saw her through the window of the dining hall. she got through via her secret wall.

aaa, Kaito interrupted Shuichi’s explanation about the wall and it startled me. why, Kaito.

...he did interrupt. i don’t think he’s just holding Shuichi back or anything, though. he is legitimately trying to help and his support helps Shuichi.

wow! why. she’s already dead! you don’t need to do that!

him saying that does get some hints from the bears, though, so...

again:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

he’s helpful in his own way when he feels like it, i guess. he’s just trying to have a good time.

speaking of that, the group has figured out that the sign must have passed through the wall, but they’re not sure how it got to the other side of the map.

and he does help Shuichi, because he says that it’s the virtual world, so normal common sense doesn’t apply.

world loops! \o/

yaaay, i actually know exactly everything i need to in this trial so far without having any trouble at all \o/

after the intermission, they try to figure out how the culprit got Miu’s body to the chapel if she’d been killed on the roof.

(also, something random i was wondering about that i finally got to find out by paying attention and listening: Gonta and Kiibo seem to be the only two people Kokichi doesn’t refer to as “last name-chan”--he just uses their first(/only) names.)

Kokichi, giving Shuichi the roof slope and everything else as a hint... that’s making it too obvious, geez. he should be able to figure that out without any hints!

why does Shuichi remember the lattice being in the storage room now when he didn’t remember it before... what the heck.

oh, Monokuma hates Sonic the Hedgehog. o:

maybe?

~exposing Kokichi’s lie~

the one about him not going to the roof at all. he said that, but then he described the roof in a good amount of detail, so it’s bothering Shuichi.

she didn’t say anything about the roof...

:o aggressive Shuichi, huh.

wait, does getting aggressive mean lying back at him? i suck that that, Shuichi! i don’t know what you want me to lie about! uhhh... um. he could... pretend like he went into the salon and didn’t see Kokichi in there...?

oh! it worked on my first try! \o/

obviously everyone’s going to believe Shuichi over Kokichi. bu~t, Tsugumi would’ve seen Shuichi pass by if he’d actually gone to the salon, and she never noticed him.

he tried so hard... oh, never mind, she still believes him even though it makes no sense.

Shuichi could absolutely get away with murder at this point if that was something he actually wanted to do.

haha. what happened to being his ~partner~?

Kokichi figured out what Miu was planning and decided to work with Monokuma to make his own plan, is essentially what he confesses.

that’s not much of a revenge, though--

o:

Gonta has no idea what he’s talking about. also, no one believes Kokichi. they still think he did it.

it’s true, there is. if Kokichi was touched by Miu he wouldn’t have been able to move, so there’s no way he could have killed her.

wah

chibi strangulation...

everyone still wants to say it’s Kokichi because they can’t believe Gonta is even capable of killing someone, but Shuichi thinks that something’s off. he knows how important it is to believe in people, but something just isn’t adding up for him right now.

aw, Gonta. :( but... i mean, Shuichi’s 100% right, they can’t just believe in Gonta and not pursue this. Kaito can get as upset about it as he wants, he’s the one that befriended a detective that promised to never turn away from the truth.

i didn’t get lost while picking the topics this time! \o/ this trial has been going pretty well for me; i don’t know if it’s because i’m more awake right now or if i’m just more used to the minigames...

anyway, everyone starts yelling because Kokichi yells at Gonta to say more than “i don’t know”, which is pretty much the only thing he’s been saying. Shuichi realizes that Gonta has been confused about things ever since they logged out.

and Gonta lost his memory because of it somehow. possibly because he put the cords in wrong.

wow, being a lefty really screwed him over there, didn’t it.

haha. that’s been Shuichi’s reaction to so much of what Kokichi’s been doing... that or just going “え?”

and honestly, by process of elimination, it is obvious who committed the crime. Kokichi and Gonta were the only two that weren’t accounted for, and Kokichi physically couldn’t have killed her.

i’ve got to be honest, i don’t want Gonta to die here, but i can’t help but be impressed by the amount of work Kokichi put into this and everything he’s getting from it.

he got to work with Shuichi like he wanted, he got revenge on Miu for trying to kill him, he drove a wedge between Kaito and Shuichi solely by using the truth against them, he got to plan a murder without getting punished for it, and he got to have fun with the trial while knowing all of the twists.

Kaito still refuses to accept it, saying that Gonta was outside the mansion when Tsugumi and Shuichi came outside, so he couldn’t have done it. but that’s not true, because he could have used the toilet paper to climb down from the roof.

he’s said it like 500 times, he’s there to face the truth. face the truth. you know, like he did when he essentially sentenced Kaede to death even though he probably really would’ve preferred to let her live somehow, because he knew how important facing the truth was to her and he basically promised to continue doing that so he (and everyone else) can get out of here.

it’s not about sides!

that alien...

anyway, apparently Kokichi came up with the plan of using the toilet paper to exit the roof. he told Gonta to put it back in the bathroom, but since Gonta ran into Shuichi and Tsumugi, he ended up tossing it instead.

Kokichi tries to get Gonta to confess, but Shuichi stops him. he says if anyone’s getting Gonta to confess, it’s going to be him.

he’s much gentler about it than Kokichi has been, that’s for sure. what a sweetheart.

Kokichi looks like an evil knockoff Precious Moments doll in that last panel...

the little chibi people are cute...

i’m guessing that Kaito is the one that voted for Kokichi there.

...the people that died in this chapter were the last two i hadn’t spent any time with... oops.

:O

Monokuma just made that...

anyway, Kokichi saw the outside world due to the card key. he asked Monokuma to reuse the outside world in the virtual world and then showed it to Gonta, which made Gonta even more confused about what he could do to help everyone (which he’s been worried about for a while now).

hm.

he won’t explain more than that, though. he just honestly thought he’d be helping them.

oh hey, Gonta noticed Miu go through the wall and that’s why she ended up being slid off the roof.

hmm.

hmmm.

honey, if you really didn’t want him to go, you wouldn’t have messed up during the trial.

what the hell did i just watch

anyway, people are upset and crying now. Maki tells Kokichi to tell them the secret of the outside world, now, so they can understand.

Kokichi doesn’t want to tell them anything.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kaito gets more pissed off the more Kokichi talks until he’s had enough and goes to punch him again like he did before. but...

Kokichi noticed that Kaito seems to be slower than before, too.

how is her hair doing that

anyway, everyone starts to ignore Kokichi in favor of helping Kaito.

oh, wow. that’s cold, Shuichi, you have his underwear in your inventory.

(i know that doesn’t change anything in the game, but it is kind of funny...)

Kokichi doesn’t seem too bothered by Shuichi saying that. he pretty much just says he’s bored and leaves after saying he’ll be the one to win this game.

after that, everyone’s 100% focused on Kaito, who doesn’t seem to be doing well at all.

that’s a lot of blood!

lmao “my cold just got worse” what kind of terrible lie is that even

he says he just needs something to drink and to rest in his room. Shuichi offers to help him, but Kaito doesn’t want his help.

oooh, did he go back to using Shuichi’s last name? did that trial actually do permanent damage to their friendship? :o i figured it’d cause problems, but i wasn’t sure if Kaito would actually hold a grudge like this.

seriously, how do you do that with your face

oh, his name is on there! i was wondering. that’s part of the reason i figured i’d be able to realize what it was if i saw it in Japanese, because if any part of “Ouma” was on there i’d at least know it had something to do with him.

...the reason why i started wondering about it is because i was going to make a stupid joke about grandmas in one of the earlier posts, since “Oma” is the German word for “Grandma”, and then i remembered that’s actually how they spell Kokichi’s last name here. >_>

that’s it for this chapter! idk what’s up with Kokichi, but i guess i’ll find out eventually. :U  i need to go to sleep now because it’s almost noon. those trials always take longer than i think they do...

(next chapter!)

[seigyokus]

6.1 - A Brutal Room

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 6.1 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Ogami Banri: Yuki and Momo-kun, huh? Nikaidou Yamato: Yeah. They've been doing a lot for me....... Nikaidou Yamato: I was really cheeky towards them, but....... But now, I can't thank them enough-- words won't cut it. Ogami Banri: Haha. I see. I get happy whenever you guys praise those two-- as if I'm the one getting praised. Nanase Riku: Both members of Re:vale are really good people. Have they always been that way? Ogami Banri: No, uh....... Momo-kun's always been a good kid, but Yuki's personality has mellowed out quite a bit. Nikaidou Yamato: You call that mellow? Izumi Mitsuki: Your inner thoughts slipped out just now, old geezer. Ogami Banri: He used to be really quiet and was pretty presumptuous. He wouldn't even try to establish interpersonal relationships with anyone. Yuki was a real troublemaker back then. His face was his only redeeming point. Izumi Iori: Ogami-san, you really aren't holding back. Ogami Banri: All of his enemies religiously hated his guts. That's the kind of guy he was. He's always been stoic when it comes to music, though. Yotsuba Tamaki: I wanna hear one of Ban-chan and Yukirin's songs. One where you guys are singing together. Osaka Sougo: I am interested as well. Would it be possible to listen to one of those songs? Ogami Banri: Ah..... Yeah, sure. It's a little embarrassing, but I'll bring one of our CDs over next time. Izumi Mitsuki: Yay! I can't wait to hear! Nanase Riku: Yeah, Banri-san's really cool! It's such a waste that you work behind the scenes! Ogami Banri: ....... Ogami Banri: So I'm not very dependable in the office, then? Nanase Riku: Huh!? No, that's not what I mean! Rokuya Nagi: Why did you come to Takanashi Productions, Banri? And why did you decide to become an office worker, of all things? Ogami Banri: Because I reached my goal, I guess? Nanase Riku: Goal? Takanashi Tsumugi: It's almost time to go to the next location, everyone. Nanase Riku: Okay! Well, we'll be on our way now! Please let us listen to it when we get back! Ogami Banri: Alright. Have a safe trip! Izumi Mitsuki: I'm glad you're back, Manager! Rokuya Nagi: Yes! I feel energized after seeing our Manager's adorable smile! Izumi Iori: The sun is awfully bright.... It's summertime already, I see. Our 1st Anniversary Tour is going to start soon.

Okazaki Rinto: Good morning! Please take good care of Re:vale today! Hmm......? Staff: ......I peeked into Re:vale's dressing room just now, and it was super tense in there. I guess all those rumors about how they don't get along are true....... Staff: It felt like they were gonna start fighting each other to the death in there.... Okazaki Rinto: Huh!? That tense!? I wonder what happened to those two....... *click* Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun, Momo-kun, don't fight! Momo: ......We weren't fighting. Yuki: ......We weren't fighting at all. Okazaki Rinto: Alright, you guys were definitely fighting. I can tell just from the atmosphere in here, you know. So are you guys fighting about today? Momo: Sorry, sorry. It's nothing big! Yuki's really gentle, that's why. He was just worried about me! Momo: But then he was like, 'There's a certain limit to things'....... Yuki: You don't like that I went to meet Tsukumo. Momo: What I'm mad about is the way you went about it! Remember what you said to me when I tried to stop you from going? Yuki: I don't remember. Momo: You told me that if I didn't let you go see him, then you were gonna disband Re:vale! I can't believe you said something like that so easily! Yuki: I've tried to stop you before and if anything, you're the one who never listens, Momo. Do you remember what you said to me? Momo: I think it was, 'I don't know what Ryou-san's gonna do to you, it's dangerous......' Yuki: Not that. You told me that he was good at mental attacks, and because I have a lot of trauma, he was definitely going to send me home in tears. That's what you said to me. Yuki: You took me for a fool. Momo: I didn't! I was just worried about you, Yuki! And despite all of that, you threatened to disband......! Yuki: I figured you wouldn't listen to me unless I said that. I mean, I'd lose if it turned into a fistfight. But that's just how much I didn't want you to go-- Momo: Just hit me with your car next time!! That would've been better! Momo: After you said 'disband,' my legs froze-- I couldn't even move an inch. It was like I subconsciously trying to protect myself from danger, even though I was really worried about you....... I don't want to feel that miserable ever again! Yuki: Well, that's on you, not me. Momo: ....... Okarin, can you hit me with a tranquilizer dart real quick? Before the most bizarre incident to even happen in entertainment history goes down here? (1) Okazaki Rinto: I'm afraid I can't do that. I don't have a hunting license. Yuki: You wouldn't be able to do it anyways, Momo. Just to set things straight, I'm the one who's pissed here. Not you. Yuki: I can't believe you put up with that psycho. To think that I had believed you out of the goodness of my heart when you told me he wasn't really a bad person.... I could weep right now. Yuki: Listen. Don't ever try to fool me, ever again. Momo: We've talked about this before. We decided that you'd handle Hoshikage while I'd handle Tsukumo, and make sure things were going smoothly with them. Didn't we decide that together? Momo: We've just been doing our respective jobs, that's all. All this talk about whether or not I fooled you is coming from a completely different dimension. If anything, don't get in my way, ever again. Yuki: ....... Okarin, bring me tequila right this instant. I might go mad if I continue this conversation sober. Okazaki Rinto: I'm afraid I can't do that. You both have to work soon. Yuki: Did you really think you could control him by yourself? Momo: Ryou-san's really fickle and only wants to do things for his own enjoyment. Once he finds another thing to play around with, he'll give up on whatever he's currently doing. Momo: If you throw his plans off trajectory, then the next step would be to suck up to him.... Or at least that's what should've happened. You made Ryou-san mad, didn't you? Yuki: How did you know? Momo: He sent me angry stamps and disentanglement puzzle stamps for five whole hours, alternating between the two. What the heck is a disentanglement puzzle anyways? Yuki: Who knows? I haven't got a clue. Momo: Anyways, we gotta butter him up, get back into his good graces, and carefully steer him back on course.... I'll go apologize to him this weekend-- Yuki: What? Apologize? What was the point of me visiting him then? Momo: That's what I wanna know! Yuki: ......Why must you act like an animal incapable of comprehending human speech? Is this some kind of harassment? Momo: What do you mean by animal!? Also, why would I be harassing you in the first place? Yuki: Because I let Ban listen to the demo before you. Didn't I apologize for that already? Momo: ....... Yuki: ....... Is this the first time I've brought it up......? Momo: ......It is, and I'm shocked. But....... I'm more shocked that you'd think I'd harass you over something like that!! Yuki: I didn't think you would. It's all because you keep saying unreasonable things, Momo! Okazaki Rinto: Stop, stop! Stop right there. Okazaki Rinto: Yuki, you crossed the line by threatening to disband. You too, Momo. You also told me that Ryou-san was a good person too. Okazaki Rinto: That's why I've let it slide every time he made fun of how my hair is parted 7:3....... Please refrain from interacting with bad people. (2) Momo: But if I did that, then he'll only keep getting worse. Ryou-san's gonna be company president after this. Yuki: See, Okarin? Momo's being unreasonable. Okazaki Rinto: Yuki-kun....... Yuki: Do as you like. There's no point in saying anything. Okazaki Rinto: You don't have to put it that way.... Yuki: I would never stoop so low as to flatter someone I could barely stomach, just to maintain my position in the industry. And I'm sure Ban wouldn't either. (3) Momo: ....... You said that on purpose just now, didn't you. Yuki: I did. I wanted to believe you were the same, Momo. But I guess I was just forcing my ideals onto you. Yuki: Go ahead, wag your tail and suck up to him. Bet it feels great to sit on that big, fluffy ol' throne you've set out for me. Yuki: Except I won't be anywhere near that. Momo: ....... Staff: Re:vale, you're up next. ......Re:vale? Okazaki Rinto: Y-yes, of course. They'll be out in just a moment. Let's talk about this afterwards, alright? Yuki: There's nothing to talk about. Momo: Yeah...... Okazaki Rinto: I'll make sure you do! For now, concentrate on the work before you. Alright, go get 'em!

Mr. Shimooka: And now, the duo everyone's been waiting for! Re:vale! Audience: Kyaaaaa.....! Audience: Momo-chan! Yuki-san!

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

thank u kuri for proofreading!!!!!!

(1) technically said tranquilizer gun but i hear this more often so yea.  (2) here is a visual wrt the 7:3 hair part thing LOL  (3) 'in the industry' is assumed since that was the entire pretense of the whole ryou-momo deal (protect yuki's place in the entertainment industry while ryou tore down everyone else, in exchange for a recording of yamato confessing that he's chiba shizuo's bastard child). p sure that's what's being referenced here too.

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!