#but like. very much a sex dream.
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#tag talk#also I had the weirdest sex dream last night. my body was zero percent engaged at all cause I'm ace rn#but like. very much a sex dream.#but like... the vagina like.... unzipped in a really body horror way and a penis came out of it.#kinda like how some scalie designs have a slit the penis comes out of#but like.. the vagina unzipped and kinda folded out it was wild.#anyway. I don't know that a plastic surgeon exists that could give me the genitalia I really want#closest I'm gonna get is a vagina and a strap on.#anyway. that's it for wildly oversharing time. going to bed for real now
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Back in the early 2000s, the Wicked OBC soundtrack came out, and I devoured it. Wicked immediately became part of my personality. I remember sitting in pre-algebra, reading and re-reading the McGuire book, listening to the soundtrack so often that even now, several decades later, I can breathe in time with the music. And then, as a birthday gift, my family took me to see the touring production. I was so excited. I was so jazzed. It was the fulfillment of every Broadway-loving Midwestern teen's dreams, to finally---finally---see the musical she has been pining for since she grabbed the soundtrack off the livejournal swap.
............shortly thereafter, I walked out of that production with my love of Wicked stone dead.
At the time, I chalked it up to the difference between imagination (no budget/labor/time constraints; physics is optional) and reality (physics exist; so does accounting). However, it's now been almost 20 years, they can do some real nifty stuff with CGI, so I can say with confidence...the version I came up with in my bedroom as a bored teen remains better.
#my aunt bought me the show book. I still have it.#copyright 2006.#it's got pictures of idina menzel and kristen chenoweth and megan hilty. very strange to think about.#and to be fair there are some moments where the film gives the script room to breathe#and delivers without dialogue what a musical never could. it gives more grounding for the character beats.#but the book and the soundtrack fight each other like crazy in all versions; it's unfortunate.#anyway more importantly now I can watch the musical about a drug dealer who gets a sex change!!!#that is much more my speed.#a proscenium for our dreams
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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If Noa could break out into a cold sweat, she would have, looking over the blank template Nythanel had provided to her. They were each others' soulmates, the greatest of friends, but they weren't each others' lovers. That role would have to be filled by someone else, but who? Noa didn't think her standards were so ridiculously unachievable... but considering her extremely lacking record, perhaps they were. Her pen scribbled on the card stock as she thought about her answers. Nyth was going to distribute it amongst the local populace - a meme? A bingo game? - and they would see which fish would take the bite. If no one bit, that would be fine. It's not such a large collection of Kindred in the area, but it was fun to cast the line... she guessed. ~
Hee hee feel free to kind of RP your responses if you wanted to join me! This is all in good fun! Using the template remade by pocketmemes, but original template is by d3vilbabi3 on Twitter! (Warning, VERY NSFW Twitter)
#type bingo#oc meme#noa#noa hidalgo#vtm#vtm oc#vamily#ask game#vtm ask game#vampire the masquerade#world of darkness#vtm rp#noa cares very little for “handsome” or “beautiful” she's very much a “likes you for you” type of person#she is on the cusp of sex-repulsed though isn't fully against it - she's just experienced a lot of harassment and not being taken seriously#she dreams of a partner and equal - a complete circle of utter devotion... she's intense#also a future partner will 100000% have to accept Nyth will be with her forever
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i’ve still never had a wet dream before but i’ve had several psychosexual dreams & i feel like that’s perfectly representative of my sexual attitudes anyway
#i am very much…. a metaphorical guy#psychosexuality is what gets me wayyyy more than the actions of sex#but these dreams are often warnings- not fun like i imagine wet dreams are for most people
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I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)
Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]
(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)
LIKE!!!!!!!
Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.
#csi#gsr#i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything#need to talk more about these two here#because im obsessed about them in a Normal way#sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together#i would not though#i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far#also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me#and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever#i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them#and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line#nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it#but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know#but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life#you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too#he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it#and his smirks#AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA#im losing my mind#i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ#ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic#one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone#or this persons' lifestyle#he's always trying to understand them and not judge them#like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people#and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much#like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara#they're a perfect match for me
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One of the things I love so much about Yellowjackets and its use of sex scenes—and one of the reasons I balk at puritan culture claiming sex scenes have no place in media—is how much character gets across in these moments. The scenes are rarely, if ever, just about the sex.
It’s Van and Tai in the woods, this moment of pure intimacy, of letting someone see you when you’re at your most broken and realizing you can still be beautiful and present and whole. It’s recognizing love transcends what you look like, and that there is safety in trusting someone to really look under the mask.
It’s Jackie trying to prove something to herself and to Shauna, that she can be an adult, that she can catch up to this perceived finish line Shauna already crossed, and it’s Travis being so distant that he barely even knows where he is, that this physical act that feels like everything to Jackie is nothing to him. It’s a microcosm of that young adult fear of being left behind, of not fitting into the right tropes.
It’s Shauna and Adam in this primal, teenage courtship that is so about immaturity and spontaneity, where it’s entirely about her getting to reclaim the childhood she lost, even at her own detriment. And it’s Jeff and Shauna, where it’s entirely about trying to reclaim something damaged beyond repair, about the desperate need to hang onto something that maybe wasn’t ever yours to begin with.
It’s Natalie and Travis with this Lottie imagery hovering between them, an encapsulation of Nat trying to show him that reality is tangible, and Lottie being a symbol of hope and spirituality, with Travis being caught between. It’s building on this traumatic space they’re living in through the lens of distraction and escapism, and whether those things can be enough when real life is so deadly.
This show is so good about deploying these very human moments through physicality, and pushing the character arcs forward. Sex can genuinely be such a beautiful and painful way to explore character, and it’s such a fundamental feature of this story which is rooted in hunger and desire and collaboration. It’s so interesting to me.
#yellowjackets#yellowjacket spoilers#yj meta#my favorite kinds of sex scenes in media are always character-based#they can be hot and they can be effusive and that’s terrific but I want to see the human qualities at the same time#if it’s just skin it’s like ‘sure fine I see what you did there’#but when it tells me who these people are. where their heads are at. what these relationships or lack thereof is offering.#that’s where I dig it#this show is so very much about hunger and what we hunger for and what starvation does#physical food starvation but also like: taissa as an adult starving herself of true emotional connection. van doing the same.#shauna starving herself of her dreams and childhood. nat starving for purpose. misty starved for connection#and how sex—this thing that not everyone wants or needs but usually does connote some kind of purpose#elevates or distracts from or messes with those factors
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Murder Obsession (Follia omicida, 1981)
"Why are you interested in the occult?"
"The only way to discover life's secret is through magic."
"I don't understand."
"Death. That exact moment when the body and soul separate, that which in theosophy is known as the astral body. We would have to capture that exact moment to analyse it, but to do this we would have to kill with our own hands, so that not even a wisp of life escapes us. Don't you agree?"
"And would you kill someone for this?"
"I think so."
#murder obsession#italian cinema#horror imagery#follia omicida#murder syndrome#1981#riccardo freda#antonio cesare corti#simon mizrahi#stefano patrizi#martine brochard#henri garcin#anita strindberg#laura gemser#john richardson#silvia dionisio#fabrizio moroni#franco mannino#carlo maria cordio#curious french italian coproduction. considering the era and the title i was expecting a grotty slasher of some kind but (whilst it#certainly has some elements of the stronger 80s sex and violence) director Freda seems more interested in stirring in dual elements#of giallo and gothic cinema. makes for a slightly fractured film; trippy dream sequences and a weirdly old fashioned score sit oddly with#the splatter and the grime. ends oddly‚ too‚ with a brush of occult oddness that feels like a strange left turn after the film has been at#pains to rationalise everything that came before it; in this it feels very much like Bennati's equally tonally mismatched The Killer#Reserved Nine Seats from the previous decade. this does feel a little out of time: a decade earlier and it would make sense but by 81#Italian cinema had mostly put away the toys being played with here‚ and whilst it's brushed with 80s appropriate nastiness it still feels#just a little old fashioned in shape and form. not bad tho: of interest to those sick freaks who will watch just about any italian horror#movie. it's me‚ im the sick freaks. strong cast too‚ tho apparently they all had a horrible time making it (Gemser in particular)#(her and Brochard actually; both were put in dangerous situations for some of the violent scenes)
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finals need to end so i can stop focusing on rubidium-strontium dating of pottery used to store fucking pearl millet in 250 bc or indulging my professors incrediblyyyy freudian interpretations of monumental architecture or something when i suddenly have artistic motivation the likes of which i haven't experienced since like 2019.
#although radiometric dating is very fun i just don't care about ancient grain crops all the much im sorry#i wanna do biological / forensic anthropology and unfortunately i have a hard time forcing myself to care about tuber cultivation#my professor thinks a lot of things are penis shaped when they really aren't#like i think it says more about you that you're interpreting this stone monument as a giant penis than it does the monument itself#next semester save me#anatomy osteology bio of human sex behavior medical anthropology#finally something that's gonna interest my brain and make me enjoy studying until 4 am#dreams of forensics and paleopathology#and also deep regret of not double majoring in clinical lab science#oh well if i don't fuck up the next 3 semesters maybe they'll let me into anatomical science grad program pretty please
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Ignore the fact that it's the 4th, several days after I said I'd get chapter 6 out right after chapter 5. I was wditing and decided I hated everything about and none of it made sense so I rewrote it and now it's over 3k words so actually you're getting more than the original chapter and also this is from Dorothy's POV so I'd view that as a bonus too.
A Dream & A Dance - E rated (very important to note I upgraded the fic to E): The night of the storm had done many things. 1. It had dislodged a whole host of pipes leaving the residents of 6151 Richmond Street with only a one singular bathroom. 2. Interrupted a very important dream and 3. Forced Dorothy Zbornak to wrap her arms around Blanche Devereaux to save her for the second time in as many weeks.
#it didn't make sense for the final chapter to be Blanches pov when its Dorothy's dream we find ourselves in#and while i know there were some funny lines in the og draft this is better#turns out Dorothy has been freaking out just as much as Blanche#and I like to think that Dorothy is secretly way hornier than Blanche#like she spent 38 years getting rejected so she doesnt vocalise herself very well in the sex department#she says shes an english (& history) teacher so she is well read which i feel would leave her damn imaginative#its a nice juxtaposition y'know Blanche is so outwardly confident but her dreams have been fairly tame until the 5th#but Dorothy is in the reverse#hope that makes sense#The Golden Girls#Dorothy Zbornak#blanche devereaux#blanche x dorothy
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YOU TWO KEEP ME GOING.....YOU KNOW WHO TF YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#in other news i feel very Refreshed feel ready to keep working on pinprick without sitting in self loathing#taking a mental note. the solition to writers block is to write under 1k of sex without worrying too much abt it#thinking abt that post thats like the best fandom creators do this shit for 3 notes and a dream#seriously though fic comments keep me motivated like nothing else :-) it is so sweet :-) xoxo#solution* help
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God damn it i slept in until just now WHY!!! But i did have a kiefer centric dream even if it was incredibly stressful. Fine
#i dreamt my bfs dad was casually just best friends with him and he invited me on a tril tk Thailand to go habg out with him so#obviously i was like uh yeah lets go but when we gkt there we knky made it to visiting one market before an earthquake hit except#there wasn't one? just everybody acting like there was one. also thja group of women i think were trying tl steal from him or something and#tried to use me for information#anyway i ended up sheltering in a school for ehstever reason and got separated from everybody#and then there was a drug bust and i had a dimebag of weed on me. and i genuinely feel bad abt this part#i basically planted it on somebody who tripped and their pockets emptied to show they had a shit ton of meth on them#and my logic was well this will just be a minor offense compared to that.#and then i hid in like a custodial closet#and saw a giant lever on the wall labeled 'KIEFER MANHUNT' so ig everything was just to get him lolll#there was more but it got very mixed up and lost any continuity. like donald duck had the same soul as aang kinda shit#very very sad i didnt get much of a chance 2 hang out with him like cant i just have a normal sex dream or some shit LOL
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2023 reads // twitter thread
A Day of Fallen Night
slow character focused epic fantasy prequel to priory of the orange tree
set during the grief of ages, when Wyrms are on the rise and devastating cities across the world
the teen heir to the throne, a middle-aged tomb keeper at the priory, a young warrior from the north, and princess from the mountains of the east
motherhood, survival, politics
#A Day of Fallen Night#aroaessidhe 2023 reads#very good#i liked it more than priory tho i think that might just be. new things in the same world feelings?#Reading the majority of this while snowed in on a mountain >>>#cool lava creatures. many dragons. good characters#Lesbian hair combing....#it’s basically all the 4 main POVs but there’s one or two other ranodm chapters thrown in? the random sabran chapter threw me off lol#i would have liked Glorian and dumai to meet! What rly came of their dream connection?#(i assume it was actually them?)#Also was it implied that sabran and someone (canthe? Tunuva?) also had one?#tell me more pls#glorian my beloved#my main complaint is that glorian being aroace is like.....vagued about a few times in the beginning then barely at all when the narrative#is directly forcing her to think about it??? yet there's one line about 'if i had a choice i wouldn't choose to have sex at all'#there's how many? 800? pages? and there could have been so much more nuanced introspection about it#obviously I wouldn't want that to be like. telling us she's sex repulsed yet has to have sex for months anyway.#but she could think about the fact that she's sex neutral or whatever for more than 2 seconds#anyway back to general thoughts there are things that made me sad :((((#but also ahhh so good#i'm glad someone said it was slower than priory bc i think that's a good expectation to have#also i will say that like; the wider plot is basically the same? it's just the fact that it follows different characters that makes it a dif#(like obviously. but i mean that a lot of sort of worldbuilding reveals are exactly the same things)
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#tag talk#gonna talk about Dodie's music and why I like the lyrics and themes#she sings about being queer in a very vague way besides “Rainbow”. It feels very much more about relationship type rather than sexuality#“In the Middle” “I Kissed Someone (It Wasn't You)”. songs about wanting a different kind of relationship. feeling out of place because of i#dreams about people being okay with you wanting a different kind of romance or sex experience.#it's not “oh no ooouuu I'm gay” but a more subtle relationship style misfit. the closeted bi vibes. the poly forced to be monogamous vibes.#a kind of queer that gets overlooked because so many people assume that gay/lesbian people are still monogamous romantic who want to marry#“okay you can be gay but only as long as you aren't anything else queer.” you still have to find “the one” and settle down and get married#and if you want anything else then we demonize you again. we decide that this one thing is okay but everything else is still social devianc#idk. the sad loneliness vibes she catches are really good because it's not just lonely. it's being invisible while still being seen#there's people around you but you're still shut out. you're in a relationship but you still don't feel loved.#you're visible and yet they still never see you.#and I forgot to mention! the traffic idea of cheating. like. being pulled away from a relationship because it isn't for you#and knowing that you what you're doing isn't great but being unable to sit still in a bad situation.#we do not always escape situations well. or without causing harm to others. but we hurt others in our attempt to protect ourselves#especially clear in “I Kissed Someone”. like. when you're not happy with a situation but you opt for small hurt instead of catastrophic hurt#the fear of breaking up a relationship so you seek small escapes instead of destroying the prison you've built around yourself
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ELECTRIC. - y.jh
your best friend is many things. smart, funny, empathetic, a complete and utter pain in your ass to name but a few. and on the evening of his twenty-eighth birthday, you discover something a little unexpected: jeonghan is very afraid of thunderstorms.
pairing : jeonghan x fem reader. content : f2?. smut. fluff. a bit of angst. comfort. (MINORS DNI) w/c : 6.3k warnings : swearing. jeonghan has astraphobia / a fear of storms (for a brief period, he's a little fragile). intentional lowercase. smut tags utc. PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything. notes : happy birthday to this sweetest of sweethearts. i would chew my right arm off if he asked me to. (barely proofread. if you see a typo, no you didn't.<3)
smut tags : pussy drunk jeonghan (my beloved), no real power dynamics but jh is a cocky mf and a bit of a dick, panty sniffing hehe, fingering, oral sex (f rec), reader is turned on by the storm. they're very unserious about it.
the lead actors meet in a kiss. the screen fades to black. so ends yet another round of your annual birthday movie nights.
jeonghan reaches for the remote and silences the end credit theme to the film you’ve just finished watching at the same time as you lift your head up off his shoulder, stretching high above your head and letting out perhaps the loudest yawn (-stroke-moan) of your life. your joints ache from too long spent in one, rather cramped, position, your eyes feel heavy in the late hour. the room falls almost silent around you both, save for the harsh splashing of rain against the windows.
(this really doesn’t help the fact that you’re seconds away from falling asleep.)
“what did you think?” jeonghan asks, stretching his long legs out in front of him.
“not my best pick,” you say, scrunching your nose a little. “not my worst, either.”
your best friend gives a short ‘ha’ of agreement, finally standing up off the couch. “couldn’t have said it better myself.”
he gathers up the takeout boxes currently decorating his coffee table and grabs the now empty drinks glasses with his free hand, grunting softly as he stands fully upright again. you see him trying to roll out a kink in his neck and laugh from where you’re still settled comfortably in the couch cushions.
“you’re going stiff in your old age,” you tease him, grinning brightly. he fires a look at you that simultaneously dares you to keep going down this path, and yet also, tiredly agrees. “remind me to book you a good massage for your birthday next year.”
he grunts something that sounds suspiciously like an instruction to go fuck yourself as he takes his leave from the room, carrying everything that needs to be thrown away or washed up into the kitchen. you busy yourself on your phone while he’s gone, deciding to check in on your weather app. you quite like the rain and you’re really not that worried about driving home in it; you’re just curious how long it’s going to last for.
in the delay of the app opening, a series of bright flashes bounce off every single wall in the living room. when you glance outside, the rain is falling harder than before; barely ten seconds later, a thunderclap roars through the ajar windows and you feel it all the way down into your tummy.
you don’t have a chance to excitedly run across the room to get a look at the storm, though. a loud swear and the sound of crashing glass stings your eardrums before the rumble is even over. instead, you’re bolting through in the same direction jeonghan disappeared off in just moments ago, your heart having taken dangerous residence your stomach.
“what’s wrong?!” you ask as you skid around the corner in your socks, just managing to catch yourself from sliding straight into the wall at the end of the hallway. “i heard a—”
you freeze, then, falling silent. jeonghan is gripping onto the kitchen counter like his life depends on it with both shattered glasses laying at his feet; he looks like he’s seen a ghost, all white-knuckled and clammy and pale-lipped. it’s terrifying.
“hey,” you say, slowly making your way into the room, mindful not to startle him and even more careful not to stand on one of the many shards on the laminate. “what happened? are you okay?”
he nods, weakly. swallows hard. blinks a few times, curls and uncurls his fingers, steps back from the counter.
“yeah,” he breathes eventually, uncertain and still visibly shaken. he wipes his palms on his sweatpants and looks over at you, forcing a smile, but you’ve known him for entirely too long to be sold on this terrible performance. “i, uh-...”
but jeonghan stops short, shaking his head, running out of words to say. for a moment, you think maybe he’s about to apologise; that’s the shape his lips make, anyway. you cut in before he gets the chance.
“it’s okay,” you say, leaning one hip up against the counter. “go sit down, i’ll clear all this up. watch where you stand, though.”
“you don’t have to–” he starts, but you interject before he can even entertain the idea of cleaning the mess himself.
“i know i don’t, but i want to. go. i’ll only be a minute.”
begrudgingly, he agrees; you grab the broom from his kitchen cupboard and start slowly sweeping the broken glass into a dustpan while he carefully steps on the safe parts of the floor and makes his way back through to the living room. you make reasonably quick work of everything, emptying the fragments into the bin on top of the takeout boxes – all that’s left by the time you’re finished a couple of minutes later, is to try and figure out what caused all this in the first place.
jeonghan isn’t an easily shaken individual; you know this from years of experience. he seems to be able to catch you every time, without fail: whether he’s just popping out at you from behind a door and making you yelp, or he’s near-on giving you heart failure by texting you that something terrible has happened and that you need to come over, immediately, only for said ‘terrible’ thing to be that he got really comfy on the couch without making any popcorn. but regardless of all the numerous ways he manages to terrorise you, you’ve never, ever managed to do the same back to him.
he’s always shrugged off your attempts, bragging that he just isn’t afraid of anything. so… you’re not really any closer to finding an answer at the time of going back through to the living room with your backpack slung over one shoulder.
“you wanna tell me what happened in there?” you ask, sitting down next to him on the couch. you’re sure his posture is supposed to be an attempt to convince you that he’s absolutely fine, now, but jeonghan looks stiff and is outright refusing to meet your eyes, despite your best attempts. again, unfortunately, you aren’t so easily fooled.
“i just came over dizzy,” he lies, doing his best to play it down. “maybe i stood up too fast and had a delayed reaction, i don’t know.”
“i’ve known corpses get up faster than you did, hannie,” you deadpan, laying one hand by his knee. “come on. that’s crap.”
he doesn’t quite jerk away from you, but you do feel his thigh muscles tense under your touch. you slide your palm down onto the couch between you instead in an effort to make him a tiny bit more comfortable.
“it’s nothing,” he tries. “really. it’s–”
“jeonghan–”
“y/n.”
the room around you falls silent, both of your stubborn personalities at a stalemate. he won’t talk, and you won’t let him stay quiet. it’s been this way for years. since you were teenagers, even. you’d think he would have learned by now. (he hopes that you might have, too.)
but, there is a fact at play that makes you stop staring him down, and you relax your shoulders slightly as you sit forwards.
“i’m only letting this go because it’s your birthday,” you sigh, clasping your hands together. “if it was any other day of the week–”
“yeah, yeah. trust me. i know.”
there’s an edge to his voice that almost sounds like your jeonghan. like the teasing menace you know and adore. almost. it’s missing something. missing his usual spark.
“i swear to god, though, if i find out you’re sick and you’re not telling me,” you mutter under your breath. not quite under your breath enough, mind – he hears you perfectly, and you can see, out of the corner of his eye as you start to rummage through your backpack for your car keys, the way his ears prick up.
“don’t be stupid, i’m not sick,” he says. the truth in these words, specifically, is evident in the weight of his voice, in the way his fingers brush against the small of your back. “i swear.”
“pinky swear?” you ask, turning to look at him over one shoulder.
he holds out his little finger on his right hand for you, both eyebrows raised in a silent challenge. you pinch your lips tight before hooking your own pinky through his, leaning in and pressing a short kiss to the pad of your thumb. the way you used to when you were kids. ‘you really can’t break those.’ he used to say. ‘they’re like, triple the strength’. saved for really important promises. when he does the same, you know you can believe him.
“okay,” you concede, going back to your search. “in that case – i think i’m gonna head on home before the roads get flooded.” you had to learn the hard way that the drains in this part of town aren’t known for their ability to handle much more than a middling rainfall.
somehow – always, somehow – buried at the very bottom of your backpack, you manage to find your keys and your hand curls around them as soon as you feel one of the rough edges against your fingertips. it’s barely been three seconds since your announcement, but jeonghan has managed to shuffle right into your personal bubble anyway and is now sitting with one arm pressed fully against your own.
“i don’t know if it’s safe to drive when it’s like this,” he says quietly. “it seems dangerous.”
“i think i’ll be okay if i leave, like, soon,” you try to reassure him.
“you think,” he repeats, narrowing his eyes at you.
“i’ve driven in so much worse, believe me,” you say. “don’t worry, i’ll be careful.”
“why don’t you just stay the night?” he offers. “you’re not working tomorrow, are you?”
“i’m not,” you confirm, and you do genuinely consider the offer for a moment before deciding to decline. “but i need a shower, and–”
jeonghan interrupts you, a little too quickly. “you can use my shower, i’ve got spare towels. i’ll sleep on the couch. don’t drive in this.”
“hannie, stop worrying,” you laugh, starting towards the door. “i promise, i’ll go slow and i���ll text you the second i’m home.”
“y/n,” he sighs, stepping towards you, jaw tense. “please. just this once.”
you swallow, looking all over his face, trying to figure out what train of thought the cogs behind his eyes are turning in tune with, why he’s so stressed about this. you’ve never known him behave like this sober. (you’ve only ever known him to be like this once, at all, and he tried to kiss you, then, so–)
“i really…” you start, only to be interrupted by another brilliant white flash. your eyes dart to the window just in time to see the lightning bolt through the clouds, and you feel your face noticeably soften in wonder. barely four seconds later – it’s getting closer – the loudest thunder clap you think you’ve heard in your life drowns out every thought you’ve ever had.
every thought, except the sudden pressure of jeonghan’s fist around your forearm. every thought, except the stuttered gasp he lets slip. every thought, except the sudden fear in his too-wide-eyes.
oh, you think, realisation dawning on you as the blunt press of his nails grows just a fraction softer in time with the end of the rumble. that’s…
“it’s okay,” you say softly, taking a step closer to jeonghan and opening your arms for him to step into. “it’s okay. i’m here.”
he falls against you like an unsteady house of cards, his arms tight around your back and his head buried into the place in your shoulder where it fits the best. you’ve never seen him like this, and you’re not really sure what to do with yourself; he’s always been the sturdy one, between the two of you. he’s always been your rock. there’s a little bit of an irony in how he’s always been the one to help you weather the storm, but with the shoe on the other foot…
“how can i help you?” you ask, trailing your fingers up and down his back, not really sure that he can feel you through the thick material of his sweatshirt but you’re trying your best, anyway.
he squeezes you tighter, buries his head further down into your shoulder, takes a few shaky breaths in through his mouth and screws his eyes shut a little more before he makes his request.
“please stay with me.”
if your heart wasn’t aching for him before, it most certainly is now. you nod to the room at large, hoping jeonghan can feel the movement even a little. you don’t loosen your hold around him, though: you let your best friend cling to you for as long as his muscles will allow before they start to ache and he has to step away.
“come with me,” you say once he’s finished running his fingers through his hair, trying to set it back to rights. “it’s okay.” you hold one of your hands out to him and he takes it, albeit apprehensively; giving his palm a squeeze with your own, you guide him through the apartment towards his bedroom.
“what are you–?” he asks, and despite his earlier hesitance to hold onto your hand, he doesn’t want to let go of you now you’ve reached your destination. he just stands next to you, fingers threaded through yours, looking at your face with tired eyes and a lifted brow.
“grab your bedsheets,” you tell him, shaking your hand free. “and your pillows. we’re gonna make a fort.”
“a what?”
“a blanket fort,” you say. “to hide from the storm.”
he doesn’t say anything for a moment, and for a brief second, you think maybe the idea has offended him. his face hasn’t lifted into the smile you sort of expected it to; instead, he’s just staring down at his bed as if he’s trying to will himself out of existence.
“we don’t have to do all that,” he says. “it’s… that’s way too much?”
“it’s your birthday,” you counter. “and i want to make you a birthday fort. like we used to, when we were kids. it’ll be fun!”
he gives a little sigh, but it’s not one of sadness or exasperation with you. it’s defeat. except, you think if you could taste it, you’d be able to pick up a tiny lacing of sweetness in his exhale.
“fine. you’re building it, though.”
you think it’s safe to say that perhaps, you’re a bit out of practice. you distinctly remember this being much easier when you were young: throwing bedsheets and blankets over the couch and propping them up with chairs or broomsticks. the forts that you would make as a child were, truly, a sight to behold: you used fairy-lights to decorate one, once, and it still remains one of your most prideful projects to date. the slight catastrophe that sits in jeonghan’s living room by the time you’ve finished laying out the last few pillows is… more a cave, in your opinion, and not a very pretty one, but you emerge from it smiling anyway and jeonghan looks at you so fondly that no matter how rubbish it is, it’s worth the half an hour you spent putting it together.
“what do you think?” you ask, sitting back on your heels.
“it’s not your best,” jeonghan teases as he walks towards your monstrosity masterpiece, critically eyeing the ‘roof’ that would definitely fail any kind of health and safety audit. “but it’s not your worst, either.”
a bright smile lights up your face as he drops down to his knees and crawls inside the space alongside you, letting the ‘door’ (a particularly thick blanket) fall down behind him. one of the (many, many, many, many, many) problems you encountered was trying to make one of these to fit two grown adults, but with him tucked away inside with you and a few flashlights to prevent you from being plunged into darkness… ignoring the potential for it all to come collapsing in on you at any given time, it’s surprisingly comfortable.
you lay back against the pillows first and jeonghan follows soon after, a weirdly gleeful smile playing at his lips as he does. he curls into your side and you talk, and talk, and talk. about everything. about nothing. it doesn’t really matter.
you’re not quite sure why, but the deep roars of the storm outside don’t seem to bother jeonghan quite as much in here. maybe it’s because he’s not alone, and there’s no imminent threat for him to be: maybe your company really is making a difference. he still reaches for you every time there’s a particularly loud clap, still closes his eyes and takes a series of deep breaths until his stress passes, but for whatever reason, he feels significantly less tense.
and when, after the third boom, he decides just… not to let go of your hand? who are you to try and force him?
there’s… just one problem, though. you’re ecstatic that the storm isn’t bothering jeonghan as much, now. that he can talk absolute nonsense to you in your private little hideaway, that he can lean his head against your shoulder and chuckle at your bad jokes and even crack a few of his own. genuinely, you could not be happier. for him.
but there was more reason than wanting to sleep in your own bed that had you desperately trying to get home before you realised the gravity of your best friend’s situation.
with every new growl of thunder outside, something low in your stomach twists, accompanied by an ache, a warmth, a throbbing between your thighs. at first, it was easy enough to battle through. you kept telling yourself that the thunder never lasts too long, that you could get through this without jeonghan being any the wiser, that everything was going to be fine. but now, almost an hour later, the buzz of electricity in the atmosphere and the entirely-too-addicting scent of your best friend’s fabric softener has you feeling hot enough you could faint.
you twist and shuffle over and over, hoping to find a position that eases the throbbing. it’s fine, you think, taking a deep breath and praying to every deity you can recall by name that jeonghan doesn’t notice your discomfort. i can do this. it’s fine. just a little while longer.
a spectacular boom sounds through the apartment and jeonghan’s fingers tighten around yours so much that, against all your better judgement, you let out a loud gasp. not out of pain, though – no, you wish. if only it was that easy. ha. no – as he squeezes your hand, images flash through your mind of him being the one to relieve you of the tension building up beneath your skin. of him gripping and grasping and tugging, thrusting, tasting, adoring. your throat runs dry and you squeeze your thighs together desperately, pinching your lips tight, willing your pounding heart to calm the fuck down. willing your cunt to stop drooling into your panties.
“fuck,” you breathe when he finally lets go. you feel him shuffle at your side and prop himself up on one elbow, looking down at your face with mild terror written into the lines of his own.
“i’m so sorry – did that hurt?” he asks, searching your eyes for any kind of clue. you wish he wouldn’t. surely, you think, pressing your tongue harshly against the roof of your mouth, surely my pupils are blown to oblivion, right now.
you shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak.
“are you sure?” he asks, slowly running his fingers down your arm, moving to take hold of your hand again if you’ll let him. you flinch, the drag of his nails akin to an electric shock – like being struck by lightning, you tell yourself – and he snaps his hand back straight away. “what’s wrong?”
“nothing,” you hurry, pushing yourself up to sit (almost head-butting him in the process) and groaning at the way the seam on your jeans rubs against your clit. who wears fucking jeans to a movie night? what absolute moron–
“do you feel okay?” jeonghan questions, sitting fully upright now too. “do you think it was the foo–”
“oh my god, please,” you whimper, bowing your head, letting your hair fall around your face, shielding you from him. just a little. not quite enough. “please. i’m fine. stop asking. i’m fine.”
“said everyone, ever, who was in fact – not fine,” jeonghan quips. “do you need water? i can help, just talk to me–”
“jeonghan,” you snap, whipping your head back up. your face feels hot and you don’t know if you’ve ever felt this tense before in all your years on this earth. all your muscles are tweaking in anticipation for something that most certainly is not going to happen, and you really need him to stop talking in that deep, smooth, caring voice. with immediate effect. for the love of god –
…and heaven above, the penny drops.
jeonghan’s concerned expression turns to one of complete shock and you cover your face with both hands, trying so desperately hard not to be perceived by him in this most humiliating of moments. he doesn’t say anything for a second, and you tell yourself that he’s probably trying to find either a terrible joke to ease the tension or a way to tell you to go home. you don’t know which would be worse, but it’s only a matter of time until you find out.
therefore, you definitely don’t expect him to pry your hands away from your cheeks, and for his shit-eating, impishly charming, handsome-as-fuck grin to be the first thing your eyes land on when you open them.
“really? thunderstorms?” he asks, close enough that you feel the breaths that his words don’t quite steal. “that’s your kink?”
“it’s not a kink,” you whine, throwing your hands down either side of you. he doesn’t release his hold on your wrist, though. “come on, don’t be–”
“of all the things you could be into,” he says. oh, he’s back. he’s back with a vengeance. you suppose, really, you should be glad that he’s feeling more like his usual self, but the fact that it’s at your expense? that there’s no-one else around for him to turn on instead? that this is your topic of conversation at ten past midnight on his living room floor?
“hannie, please,” you huff, lips drawing downwards into a frowning pout. the ache isn’t going away. why isn’t it going away? why is this cocky, smirking version of your best friend making you feel even hotter under the collar? what’s going on? “don’t you think i’ve suffered enough?”
“not even nearly,” he says, sitting up on his knees, resting his palms on his thighs. “since when? how did you even fig–”
boom.
and his jaw falls slack, watching you squirm.
you’re quite literally fighting for your life. or, at minimum, for your friendship. because, really, you could jump jeonghan’s bones right now and you don’t actually think he’d turn you down (something to be filed under: thoughts that are not making this any easier). but that’s not what you’re trying to do; you’re trying to help him feel better, and take his mind off his fear, and when he pulls his bottom lip between his bottom teeth before speaking –
“okay, wait. hear me out.”
to both of your surprises, you do. you don’t try and protest, which he was sort of expecting you to do. you don’t tell him to shut up, you don’t try and get away from him. you sit there, eyes wide, hands curling into the blankets beneath your slowly numbing ass, and you wait for him to continue.
“i can help you.”
your heart shoots up into your throat and you struggle to swallow around it. your breaths are heavy, laboured, your lips parted and a little swollen from how you’ve been biting at them for the past hour and a bit.
“you don’t have to–”
“shut up, y/n,” he says dismissively, crawling in front of you and lifting your hands away from the bedding you’re kneading (pathetically, in his professional opinion) like a cat. “listen. you’ve helped me so much tonight, you don’t even know. let me return the favour.”
“hannie…”
“hannie,” he whines, in a poor imitation of your voice. “hannie, i only helped you because you needed me– is that it? look at you, y/n. you’re a mess.”
if this were anyone else, you’d be livid. not only at the way he so effortlessly makes fun of you, but at the fact that he accurately finished your sentence without having anything more than an affectionate nickname to work from as a hint. you don’t know what to say, suddenly stunned into silence, but it’s all right. you don’t need to say anything; he keeps going.
“you need me. let me help you – look. it’s my birthday.”
he wants this, you think to yourself, growing slightly concerned by the way your heart continues to hammer in your throat. he wants… me.
you give one slow, but definite, nod of your head and jeonghan’s grin grows from cocky to genuine. he crawls until he’s right up in your space, lifting a hand to your cheek, and you forget how to breathe for a moment as he looks you in the eyes with more heat than the mid-august sun.
“lie down,” he says, pushing that last little bit closer and capturing your lips in a kiss. it’s short, but mind-boggling. your brain goes totally blank when he pulls away. “it’s okay. i’ve got you.”
but you do as he says and shuffle around the little fort so you’re on your back, head resting against one of the many pillows you’re grateful you brought in here with you. he crawls on top of you, then, caging you in with one hand either side of your head, settling with one of his knees slotted between your just-parted thighs.
“okay?” he asks, searching your face for any signs of discomfort or worry. he doesn’t find any, though – he’s met only with a perhaps too enthusiastic nod and your hands playing at the hem of his sweatshirt. he chuckles, bending down to kiss you again, a little deeper this time, a little longer. open-mouthed and hot, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, dropping onto one elbow so his torso lies almost flush against yours.
“easy, tiger. taking care of you, right now.”
you sigh as his lips start to descend down the column of your throat, and you press your shoulders back into the blankets to try and push that little bit closer to him. one of his hands slips beneath your own shirt and his palm comes to rest flush against your hip, dragging his thumb in small circles over your skin.
“this,” he mumbles into your collarbone, tugging the neckline of the garment between his teeth for a moment so you know what he’s referring to. “off.”
“bossy,” you mumble, your body cold all of a sudden as he sits back away from you and you tug your t-shirt off over your head. as you do, he reaches behind his neck and tugs off his sweatshirt as well before he tosses it up near your head, out of the way.
now, this is certainly not the first time you’ve ever been around jeonghan without anything covering his top half, but it is something that you rarely get the chance to see. if it’s not the fact that he’s chronically freezing cold, it’s because he’s grown emotionally attached to some of the baggiest tops known to mankind, or he’s worried about getting a sunburn so is still covered up at the beach. for one reason or another, this just isn’t something you’re blessed to see very often, and he looks so good you almost forget that it’s him.
of course, that only lasts until he says something really fucking dumb. in other words, all of about three seconds.
“how… practical,” he says, eyes trained down on the bra covering your tits. in a way, it’s probably a good thing you’ve snapped back to your senses, because you once again find yourself thinking that if this were anyone else, you’d have told them to get off you and never call you again.
but why is jeonghan, of all people, criticising your choice of comfy underwear… weirdly endearing?
“sorry,” you grunt, making no effort to hide the (flesh-toned, full-coverage, entirely too old) bra that he’s looking at like it’s personally offending him. “didn’t expect to need to impress, tonight.”
“don’t be sorry,” jeonghan says, shaking his head as he unpops the button on your jeans and tugs them down over your hips. “just… do better next time, yeah?”
you laugh so suddenly, so abruptly, so loudly that you choke on your own spit and end up coughing a little, propping up on one elbow to try and relieve the burn in your lungs as he continues to work your pants off your legs. by the time he scrunches them into a ball and puts them to the side, too, you’ve managed to catch your breath, and gasp out, “next time?”
“next time,” he nods, making himself comfortable between your thighs. he lays one palm on the inside of each knee, pushing them as far apart as your hips will allow, before he brings one hand over your covered cunt and drags his thumb up and down your slit.
you don’t even get a chance to ask why he’s so sure there’ll be a next time. he skillfully works you through the material and in seconds, has you tipping your head back into the pillows, moaning at the overwhelming feeling of finally being touched.
“so fucking wet,” he sighs, feeling your arousal through the cotton of your underwear, pressing the material between your folds. his thumb circles your clit over and over, the pressure just right – not so light that he’s teasing, not so hard that you’re squirming away from him. hell, if you knew he was this good, you’d have dragged him into bed years ago.
“come on, hannie,” you gulp as he starts to work his thumb faster, starts to massage at your inner thigh with his other hand. “need more…”
well, he doesn’t need to be told twice. you lift your hips and he tugs your panties down your thighs, unhooking them from around your ankles. you expect him to, you know, return to business, but he does something just a little bit unhinged first and brings your soaked underwear up to his face. you hear how deeply, how loudly he inhales, the subsequent groan he gives even louder, and you swear the reason you end up bumping his hip with your knee is to bring him back to earth, because it actually feels like he’s forgotten you’re lying right there.
“i’ll do it myself, in a minute,” you threaten, and jeonghan grins wickedly down at you as he lowers your panties down to join the rest of your discarded clothes.
“no you won’t,” he tells you – he tells you? – , finally now lying down between your legs, just inches away from your glistening cunt. “god – as if i’d ever let that happen.”
“i swear– ” you start, half a second before one of his fingers presses against your hole. you stop talking with a gasp, a hand flying to your chest and squeezing against your tit. just like that. in a heartbeat, you’re done for.
he seems intent on gathering as much of your arousal on his fingertip as he possibly can, running it through your folds, pressing it inside you, smearing your slick all over and then some like a fucked-up painting. only once he’s satisfied does he finally start to work his finger in and out, pressing his lips just above where your clit is begging for his attention.
“don’t play stupid,” you chide him when he looks up at you through his lashes, eyes wide and feigning innocence. “if you can find it through my underwear, you can find it now.”
“bossy,” jeonghan tuts. “what’s with the rush, huh?”
and he adds another finger to the first, both long and elegant and reaching spots inside you that your own physically can’t. you keen against your will, hips reacting of their own accord, trying to fuck your pussy down against his hand. he makes no effort to stop you.
“m’not gonna beg,” you tell him. “just – fuck, get your mouth on me. now.”
to his credit, he does.
and more to his credit, being eaten out has never, ever felt this good.
the hand not grasping at your chest shoots down to tangle in his long, silky hair, and jeonghan moans loudly against your pussy as he laves his tongue everywhere he can. over your clit, between your folds, slipping it inside your hole in place of his fingers – he’s relentless, slurping and groaning and finding some sort of insane stamina from somewhere deep in his soul. you swear to god, this is not the man who sometimes falls asleep with his light on because he doesn’t have the energy to get up and turn them off.
within a matter of minutes, you can feel the coil in the pit of your stomach growing tighter and tighter, your walls fluttering around his fingers, your moans and whines only getting louder by the minute. your legs are shaking. your thoughts are little more than static, and him. at some point – you don’t know when –, jeonghan reached around your hips to pull your thighs together and clamped them around his ears, mumbling against your clit something to the effect of to help with the thunder. (you don’t mention that there hasn’t actually been another thunder crack since he started making out with your pussy. it doesn’t feel relevant, somehow.)
every time you tighten your thighs, every time you squirm, he hugs you tighter against his cheeks and you just end up humping against his tongue. something tells you maybe that was the plan all along?
sparks of energy start to prickle all over your skin as you teeter on the edge of your high. your fist tightens in jeonghan’s hair, your breaths become fewer and further between. it’s frankly a bit of a miracle you’ve even managed to last this long – you held back as long as you could, determined to milk as much of the pleasure his hands and his mouth so skillfully bring as you can. just in case there’s no next time, but… hell, do you hope there is.
“hannie, i’m–” you gasp, his fingers curling upwards again and resuming their earlier assault on your g-spot. “fuck, hannie, i’m so close–”
“mm, have been for a while, huh?” he asks, drawing his mouth away from you, licking his tongue over his arousal-slickened lips. “you’ve been holding out on me.”
“yeah, but-... i wanna come so bad,” you swallow. jeonghan flicks his tongue out over your clit again and you jolt up into the touch. “please, don’t stop.”
“won’t,” he promises. and it’s the last thing he says before his lips meet your pussy again and he brings you over the edge into the most electrifying of climaxes.
by the time you’ve stopped twitching with the aftershocks of your orgasm, jeonghan is sat up on his knees again, softly massaging at your hips with his thumbs. your vision is still kind of fuzzy at the edges when you glance up at him, and for a moment, with a hazy outline and an amber glow behind him owed to the flashlight you set at the entrance to the fort, you think he looks a little too much like an angel.
“where the hell did that come from?” you ask him, fighting against the squirming in your belly. fighting against the sensation that feels a little too much like butterflies.
“really?” he asks in a breathy laugh. “that’s-... i mean, do you actually want to know, or…?”
you mull this over for a moment before crossing your arms over your eyes and concealing yourself from his view, shaking your head. one part of you is morbidly curious as to how he got so good at giving head. the other part of you is too busy trying to gather the brain cells he just sent flying across about eight different dimensions.
“i think you’ve broken me, jeonghan,” you breathe, feeling more than seeing him lie down next to you again. his lips press sweetly against the curve of your shoulder. warmth radiates from that one spot, all over your body. you smile, like a complete loser.
what’s worse is that you really don’t mind.
“is that a yes, then?” he asks, slinging an arm over your waist. you turn your head to look at him, eyes crossing a little with how unexpectedly close he is.
“yes to what?”
“to next time,” he says. his grin matches yours and you nod your head at him, yes. in your peripheral vision, you notice how he lifts one hand, extends his little finger. straight in front of you, you see both of his eyebrows raise.
you pinch your lips tight before hooking your own pinky through his, leaning in and pressing a short kiss to the pad of your thumb. the way you used to when you were kids. ‘you really can’t break those.’ he used to say. ‘they’re like, triple the strength’.
saved for really important promises.
“to next time.”
thank u so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this. as always, your likes/reblogs/comments and feedback are always deeply appreciated.<3
#yoon jeonghan smut#seventeen smut#j <3#you know when you have to pause because a piece of writing is so well done?#i felt that while i was reading this#j i don't know if I've said this to you before and honestly my apologies because you deserved to hear it much sooner#you are such a talented writer holy shit#you do such a great job setting up the atmosphere in your fics and establishing the dynamics between the people involved#i don't know why it took me so long to realise this but holy shit#this may be my favourite fic of your sos far#I'm sleepy and about to pass out so I'm sorry if this is extra messy#your prose? insane. you have such a warm feeling to your writing. i can't think of any other way to describe it#it's warm and flows so seamlessly#also your sense of humour? always has me cracking up at my screen#this just feels like Jeonghan. you just wrote him in such a way that I'm like yeah i can 700% seen jeonghan doing everything you wrote in#this#the fort :((((((( their entire dynamic is so endearing and honestly? me lmao. one of the inserts i relate to intimately#of course fucking Jeonghan would be able to tell immediately that you're horny. of course#and of course he'd be annoying about it. very on brand#oh to have yoon jeonghan eat me out to the point of near astral projection#the dream#the way you write smut too jesus christ#the only criticism i have of this is there wasn't any penetrative sex#THIS IS A JOKE I AM JOKING YOU DID A PHENOMENAL JOB AND THIS MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE FIC OF YOURS#sorry it took me 85 years to read it#q: painting with hyunjin
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telling my roommate abt my friend whose best friends slash roommates ended up dating each other n another person & asked her to move out so they could live w their third partner instead of her and my roommate going wow I would never do that to [our 2 old roommates]. haha and me right. u would also never do that to me...... ur current roommate. and friend I hope. 🥹
#on one level i kind of get it but on another like. personally i wouldnt date someone i wasnt best friends with like the POINT of having a#partner is that theyre ur PARTNER. in LIFE. so surely u want to like them enough to spend all that time with them n trust them etc#the lines between romantic n platonic get a bit hazy for me at a point tbh... id just as happily have a platonic partner as a romantic one#i dont think they have enough distinction to bother trying to separate them. and im not aro or ace i very much do experience attraction#both romantic n sexual. but romance n sex arent the be all and end all requirements for someone id want to spend my life with#like the most core things in a relationship for me are the trust n feeling seen n loved n thats not exclusive to romance??#idkkkk it just seems silly to me that ppl fight so much abt how different as categories they are like okay well its an individual thing#and to me personally theyre kind of arbitrary social constructs just like sooooo many other things. free yourself.....#dunno where im going with this i woke up like an hour ago and didnt sleep much last night yaaaawnnn#been having some weird intense dreams lately. and also some thoughts abt things that are tangentially related to this i suppose#but i dont rly wanna sit down and map them out just yet bc thats complicated and a little scary to confront#cross that bridge baby! maybe ill put aside some time to journal this weekend#anyway good day up ahead hopefully working on some stuff I'm confident with at work and a friend is staying over last minute tn :-)#and its almost friday.... whew!#have a good day moots#.diaries
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