#but like. jesus christ man can you try not to be such a fucking bummer

[aliosne]

Man. G is a really really lovely man in so many ways but he can be so relentlessly negative about the state of the world in a way that I 100% understand but jesus fucking christ does it make me feel like shit. I don’t wanna be like “you can’t talk like that” bc we all need to air our bad feelings but man!! It just!!! Kind of makes me wanna say why don’t we all just walk into the sea then!! As a family!!!

[strangerthings-writer]

Save A Horse, Ride A Freak

(FtM!Eddie x MtF!Steve)

Word Count: 1,398

Summary: Eddie begs Stevie to ride his face, and while Stevie is nervous she’ll be bad at it… she’s actually quite good.

Warnings: NSFW (MDNI) gendered terms for genitals, use of names like “ma’am”, degredation, praise

Eddie has always been the type to initiate things, be the one making the demands while Stevie just seems to follow along. He’s usually a top, for lack of a better term. He doesn’t mind it being that way, in fact he enjoys it, but sometimes he does think about what it’d be like the other way around. Stevie has thought the same thing too. She’s thought about grabbing Eddie by his long hair and fucking him from behind. Getting him down on his knees and fucking into his throat until his lips were all swollen and dripping from his own drool and her cum… God, she would always get carried away with her thoughts, but she was always too anxious to execute them. What if Eddie didn’t like being submissive? What if this was how he liked it and he wanted to stick to it? Sure, it was a bit of a bummer, but she wanted him to have fun.

The aura of tonights little session seemed a bit different, and it had Steve a bit perplexed. Eddie was whining, letting Stevie take the lead in their heated kiss. His hands still wandered, but seemed to only wander very little. He had done this quite a few times now, maybe he wanted to have her on top for once, or maybe he was just playing a trick on her? She had no idea, and had a hard time reading anything Eddie did to begin with, so she pulled away.

“Are you alright? You’ve been acting weird these last few times and uh- I have no clue what’s going on- do you want me to do something different? Or-“ she began, but was cut off by a loud whine from Eddie.

“Jesus christ babe I want you to just- can you fuck me up? Like, just once? Twice maybe? Push me against the bed and drill me, sit on my face and fuck my throat I don’t care just- for the love of god would you please just dominate me once?” He finished, letting out a nervous laugh before covering his face. He knew Stevie was dense but not this dense. He had hoped she’d get the message at some point, but to no avail…

“Oh.” Stevie whispered out, sitting upright and staring down at the man. She felt dumb that she hadn’t caught on to that yet! And here she was, shirtless and looking stupid as she tried to wrap her mind around what her boyfriend just said. “You want me to… you want me to sit on your face?” She spoke, giving him a little smirk.

Eddie’s face went bright red and he huffed, crossing his arms. “I said what I said.” He spoke, trying to hide his bashful state with arrogance. Stevie let out a giggle and stared down at him for a moment contemplating whether she should or not. “…but what if I crush you?” She murmured, “I don’t want to hurt you or anything…”

Eddie rolled his eyes, shaking his head and grabbing onto the hem of her shorts, a pleading look on his face. “If you did, I’d die a happy man, now get up here, Harrington…” he grinned, tapping his lips with his fingers before letting out a laugh. Stevie only rolled her eyes and slipped her shorts and panties off, revealing her half hard cock.

Eddie’s eyes scanned over her body before letting out a delighted giggle, his hands going straight to her hips before looking up at her.

“How do you want this-? Like… my ass? My dick? What?” Stevie asked, getting a bit red in the face for having to be so crude about it. Eddie hummed in thought for a moment before gently grabbing her by the base of her cock, squeezing gently, “dick.” He said simply, giving her a big grin. She let out a little whimper and gave him a nod, “alright alright- I got it,” she laughed, gently slipping up and closer to his mouth before stopping. “You’re sure about thi-“

“Oh my god, Stevie, please.” Eddie whined like a child, stomping his feet impatiently too, just to go with it. He was being dramatic, but all he wanted was his girlfriends cock in his mouth.

Stevie giggled and gave him a slow nod, gently positioning herself over his face and slipping herself down into his mouth. God, it was so warm… so inviting. She could feel herself twitch and harden more-so as she cascaded down further to the back of his throat, earning herself a gag from the messy haired man under her.

“Fuck… that- that feels good…” she whispered, watching him silently. Eddie gagged around her length, his own arousal beginning to work its way up. He was harder than ever, his cunt dripping onto his boxers. God, he could feel it. The way she just eased down into his throat made him melt into putty in her hands.

She decided to test the waters, bringing a hand down to his hair and gripping onto it tightly before she drew herself out, then gently slid back down his throat. “G-good boy…” she whispered, her eyes never leaving him just to make sure she got a good reaction.

And by god, was his reaction heavenly. His eyes fought to stay open as he moaned around her, bucking his hips up into absolutely nothing but the now painful and teasing feeling of his boxers and jeans. This was perfect, both of them couldn’t get enough of one another in that moment, and they had only just started. Eddie gripped onto her hips, watching her as she would pull herself back and sink low into his throat, repeating this motion. She relished in the noises of the soft gagging and moaning coming from Eddie’s mouth, along with the sputtering from the excess saliva collecting in his mouth. He was covered in his own drool, some dripping down his cheek as he kept his tongue out to give her enough room to slide deliciously down his throat with ease.

She was practically dripping down his throat by now, her cock red hot and seeping at the tip. He could feel it… it felt like something out of a porno he had watched.

She tugged on his hair a bit harder and bit her lip, letting out a moan, “fuck- such a g-good little slut… you like when I use you like this, hm? When I make you my little whore?”

Those words sent Eddie’s blood running straight to his clit, his cock throbbing and straining against the fabric. He wanted to move his hands, give himself some sort of release, but Stevie was quick to stop him. “Ah ah, no. You can touch yourself when I’m satisfied…” got it?” She grunted, pulling from his mouth to let him speak. What followed were sputters and coughs as her spit covered cock was set free, his eyes going glossy. “Yes ma’am-“ he struggled to get out, looking utterly blissed out.

She was not expecting that one. It was so simple, yet so fucking hot. Something about Eddie Munson calling her ‘ma’am’ sent a shockwave down her spine. She bit her lip and let out a small giggle, slipping back down into his throat as she began to thrust a bit harder. “Good boy…” she gasped, gripping onto the bed frame.

It didn’t take long for her to get closer to the edge, letting her mouth hand open and small words of praise and expletives spilling from her parted lips.

Before she could reach orgasm, she pulled out from Eddie’s mouth and grabbed his hand, setting it onto her cock. “You know what to do-“ she gasped out, and Eddie was quick to move his hand along her length, leaving his mouth open with his tongue peaking out of his mouth.

Stevie’s orgasm was quick to envelope her entire body, a shiver running down her spine and a loud moan escaping her lips as she shot her load onto Eddie’s face, getting it in his hair, on the apples of his cheeks, his eyelids, his tongue, his chin… needless to say, he was well painted.

Eddie licked up some of the cum from his chin while Stevie wiped off the bit that was on his eyelid and he smiled up at her, giving her a daring look.

“My turn.”

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2023

I watched The Visitor (1979)

A science fiction horror movie starring many well known actors and directors. A movie I never knew existed until recently.

A conspiracy to once again impregnate a woman who can give birth to demonic superpowered children draws out a strange man from beyond, sent by jesus.

At about 8 minutes into The Visitor I said out loud, "Wait....what the fuck is happening?" I then realized that for the last 8 minutes I had been watching and hearing things I didn't understand at all. Well, other than the fact that Jesus was there and there was terrifying girl with bird feathers covering her and then there was a basketball game where the little girl was controlling the players....maybe? She definitely exploded the hoop. I think.

Anyway, despite not having any idea what I was watching, I was unbelievably interested. It's bad storytelling for sure, but I wanted to know more. There's something very watchable about the things that are happening on screen at first. I wasn't frustrated by the things I didn't know. I felt like I was just drifting along with the movie. That enthusiasm lasted about halfway to a little more than halfway.

I chose to watch this weird movie because the cast includes directors John Huston and Sam Peckinpah, along with other big names like Franco Nero, Lance Henriksen, Shelley Winters, Glenn Ford.....this is a wild cast for someone who loves movies. Especially in a 70's Italian style sci Fi horror.

The plot is a mish mash of movies like the Exorcist, the Omen and Rosemary's Baby with the addition of Jesus Christ and, what is described in summaries of the film as, an intergalactic warrior. Toss in a big and bold funky 70's score and you start to get an idea of what the movie is, but it's also indescribable. Things happen in this movie that kept me saying "Wait...what the fuck is happening?" Long after the first 8 minutes.

There are some great wide shots in this film along with a pretty ok performance from the "evil child", which really helps a movie like this. It's pacing is fever pitch and then suddenly becomes like mid at one point.

As much as I've talked about the strange and confusing nature of the movie, I followed along just fine as far as the basic premise. I don't really know what the movie was trying to say thematically, but I don't think the director did either.

Is this a good movie?

Good movies are not this confusing for no reason and don't have characters who react to being crippled by just smiling their way through it.

This movie feels like an idea someone thought of during a come down from a mushroom trip. It's not all there, but it sounds cool.

This is an enjoyably bad movie for the most part, besides getting pretty slow near the end. It's entertaining and fascinating at points and sometimes it's pretty funny.

But it's not a good movie. Which is a bummer because this movie drips with talented people and the beginning draws you in.

If you're going to watch this for any reason it should be to listen to the How Did This Get Made podcast episode that covers it.

[thiswasinevitableid]

A prompt if you’re interested: From the very end of the last chapter of “Amnesty Records” where you wrote “a song about two ghosts finding each other in the woods, falling so in love that they come back to life.” Indruck, please! Your choice of rating! Meet uglies and so sweet you’ll get cavities are always welcome! Thank you!

I decided to pair this ask with the prompt for the 31st, which is "nothing truly ends."

Content note: this contains references to a car crash.

31. Nothing truly ends

Indrid stumbles back up the embankment; it’s a miracle he can move at all, the way the car rolled ought to have broken a few bones but here he is, barely a scratch on him. He holds his phone up but there’s no signal. Fucking NRQZ.

Headlights cut through the raindrops up ahead and frantically waves his arms, calling for them to stop. The mini-van pulls over and a woman hurries out, the man in the passenger seat calling to the children clamoring about to stay in the car.

“Thank you so much for stopping. I, I hydroplaned and by the time I got control the car was already-”

“Jesus.” The man turns to the woman, who’s holding her cellphone as a flashlight, “anyone down there?”

“No” Indrid approaches them, “I was the only passenger.”

“I can’t quite...oh christ, Arthur, there’s someone in the driver’s seat, they’re not moving. I’m going to go down, if they’re stuck maybe we can help them.”

“I’ll call 911 and come right down after. Boys, you stay put you hear?”

“For goodness sake, there’s no need for this fuss, I’m right here. Hey, hey! Can’t you hear me?” He steps into the beam of the headlights. Freezes when he casts no shadow.

When he holds up his hand, the light passes right through it.

“Well, fuck me I guess.” He whispers, following the woman’s flashlight to where an arm is hanging through the broken driver side window.

When it registers, when he screams, the other travelers don’t even flinch, but every bird and beast scatters away.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s not fair; he’s incorporeal and yet he cannot get past this line in the trees. Whenever he tries, it’s like ramming his shoulder into a brick wall.

“Yeah, that was a real bummer when I worked it out.”

He spins, startled, to find the source of the drawl to be another man. About his age, he’d say, and dressed like a park ranger. He flicks his eyes downward; not a human shadow in sight.

“Who are you?”

“Duck Newton, it’s a nickname.” He holds out his hand, “forcibly retired ranger and, uh, fellow ghost.”

Indrid takes the offered hand, the touch colder than the worst winter night, “Indrid Cold, yes like the urban legend.”

“Bet you’d be more pleasant to pick up than they say he was. I, uh, I mean, for, uh, for a ride, a, a car ride” color rises in Duck’s cheeks, “that’s, that’s uh, fuck, that’s the only way I mean.”

He’s too tired to decipher whether that was attempted flirting; having the first person to try and pick him up in months be a dead guy might be bleaker than the accident that put him here.

“Why can’t I move beyond here?”

“Ghosts get tethered to where they died; you can only move a certain radius outside it. Guess yours and mine overlap.”

Indrid nods. Then he sags down onto a fallen log, “I spent my whole life trying not to be trapped somewhere. Seems fate had other plans.”

Duck steps closer, “You were the wreck last night, right? Then fate’s got fuck-all to do with it. That was just bad luck and a wet road.”

“No!” Indrid snaps, “no, there, there must be a reason, a cause and effect, a, I, it’s too pointless.”

“Hey, look, it’s okay, I know how you feel-”

“How did you die?” Perhaps there’s a connection, something about the place, some tie between them.

Duck scratches the back of his neck, “I drowned. I was helpin evacuate a campground near here durin a freak flood and, uh, well, I got everyone out except for myself.”

“Then, as someone who died for a greater purpose, kindly shut the hell up about how I feel.”

“Indrid-”

“Please just go.” He tucks his knees up to his chest and hides his face against them, keeping them there as footsteps that only he can hear fade down the trail.

------------------------------------------------------------

Today was the day to break his personal stone-skipping record, but Duck’s heart really isn’t in it. He can’t stop thinking about Indrid; it’s been five days since they met and there’s been no sign of the other ghost. He really hopes he didn’t royally fuck things up with the one person who can really keep him company.

Not that Indrid owes him company. And not that Duck is ever going to admit that his first thought at seeing him was that it was crime for death to rob some guy or other of the chance to kiss that captivating face.

After sinking the fifth stone in a row on the first skip, he turns from the lake and hikes into the trees. It would be easier to float up above for a better view, but moving through the woods this way helps him pretend that everything is normal.

He finds Indrid in the roots of a massive pine tree, laying on his side and sobbing. Duck knows the sound, the way crying croaks and gasps out when you’ve been doing it for days on end.

“Indrid?”

Brown eyes glance up at him before returning to their thousand yard stare.

Duck sits down on a root near his head, “You were right that we didn’t end up here the same way. But, uh, if you need to talk, I got a pretty good sense of what you’re goin’ through. Or I can fuck off if you want me to.”

Leaves crunch as Indrid shakes his head.

“You wanna talk about it?”

A raspy inhale, then, “I, I had s-so many th-things I wanted to, to do. I, I was going to drive the loneliest road, and see that big aquarium out on the coast, and, and I wanted to have rats, two of them, a studio somewhere all my own and, and my, my friend was going to teach me poker when I next saw him and I won’t ever even get to do a m-mundane, small thing like that ever again and I, I feel so stupid for grieving it.”

“First thing I got sad about after the, y’know, bein’ dead part was that I was never gonna get the tattoo I wanted.”

“We’ll never see anyone we love ever again.” Indrid says to the trees.

“Yeah. I’m real fuckin jealous of folks who beefed it at home. Fuck, even a hospital wouldn’t be too bad to get stuck in. Could go up to the kids floor, put on little puppet shows for ‘em when the nurses weren’t looking. But, uh, the Monongahela ain't so bad; I know you ain’t got the attachment to it that I did when I died I just, uh, just want you to know that as final places go, you could do a lot worse. And, uh” he touches Indrid’s shoulder, “someone’s pack got bumped outta a river raft a few months back. Had a deck of waterproof playin cards in it. So if you ever wanna learn how to play poker I can teach you.”

Indrid sniffles and without thinking Duck strokes his hair to see if it helps. The newer ghost suddenly flips onto his other side and buries his face against Duck’s stomach, sobbing and shaking so intensely that if he still had bones, Duck would be worried about him breaking them.

It’s been so long since he comforted someone. Yet it’s the easiest thing in the world to sit under the setting sun and hold Indrid too him until, either an eternity or a moment later, he falls into the closest thing he can to sleep.

----------------------------------------------------

“Are you certain we won’t frighten anyone?”

“Nah” Duck waves him into the road leading to the Eastwood Campground, “Even the most open minded folks have a hard time spottin’ ghosts in the daytime. Ugh, c’mon, the sign about bears is right there.” Duck clears an open bag of chips from the table and unlatches the bear box to shove them inside it. His hand stays on the metal, “goddamn I miss nachos.”

“I’d murder someone for fruit gushers.”

Duck raises an eyebrow.

“That was a joke.”

The ranger snickers, “Thought so.”

It’s a problem Indrid had in life; sometimes too literal when interpreting other’s jokes and too deadpan in his own delivery. It hasn’t stopped Duck from goofing off with him; he just bends his approach, learns the little tells in Indrid’s face that mean he’s kidding. Then Indrid gets to bask in his friend’s ridiculous laugh bouncing through the trees.

They move through the campground, eavesdropping now and then as they pick up litter and check fire pits to be certain they’re out. Indrid teases Duck for not being able to let go of his work but they both know he’s been drawing quite a lot in the sand lately for lack of a pen and paper. When he’d looked up, sheepish, at Duck staring at his damp twilight scene, the ranger shrugged and said, “It helps to feel like you’re still you.”

As they’re debating whether the depths of the sea or the depths of space are scarier, Duck stops with a faint shhc of gravel. A woman in a uniform the same as his own is chatting with some campers, smiling and laughing as she does.

“Juno?” Indrid murmurs.

Duck nods, “I tried talkin to her once or twice but...she can’t hear me.” His smile is the saddest Indrid’s ever seen, “glad she’s doin’ okay.”

Indrid waits until the ranger finishes her discussion and disappears back towards the station at the campground entrance.

“Shall we go see if those Great Horned Owl chicks have hatched?”

“Yeah. Yeah let’s do that. Might even see the parents; it’s real neat to, uh, to get that close to ‘em.” He clears his throat, “guess bein’ dead’s got some benefits.”

Indrid bumps their shoulders together as they turn towards home, “True.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, ‘Drid, come look!”

Indrid floats upward until he’s just above the tree-tops, let’s Duck pull him over so they can hover side by side. His friend’s whole body floods with blues, reds, and sparkling white-golds. As the fireworks crackle and boom from the distant speck that is downtown Kepler, Duck rests his head on Indrid’s shoulder.

“Forgot how much fun it is to watch these with someone.”

“I’m glad my cheering is so--OOH! I’ve never seen one in a star shape before!” He flaps his hands and Duck laughs.

“Knew the fella who plans these shows; always tried to get the most cuttin’ edge stuff. Not sure they were always the most, uh, legal fireworks, but their fire safety protocols were damn good.”

“I don’t suppose they do them any other time of the year?”

“New Years, and sometimes they’ll do ‘em around Christmas. You’ll like New Years; they managed a rainbow last time.”

Indrid grins, tilting his head to rest it on Duck’s own, “I can’t wait.”

----------------------------------------------------------

Indrid half floats, half walks his usual route to what he and Duck long ago started calling “their” lake. There’s some portions of each other’s radii that they can’t enter, which means they sometimes spend a few days apart. In the beginning, Indrid sought Duck out because the thought of being alone terrified him. Now, well over a year later, he goes to him because there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Because he misses him when they’re apart.

The last time they were together, Duck kept looking at him like he was a priceless painting--or, given this was Duck, perhaps an rare pine he thought had gone extinct--and when Indrid met his eyes they both blushed like teenagers in the backseat.

He’s so busy remembering the way Duck kept leaning into his space that he doesn’t notice the hiker until he hears, “brrrr, when did it get so fucking cold?”

“Dude, it’s like eighty degrees.”

There’s a whole flock of twenty-somethings on the beach, some cranking up music and tossing stones into the water while others unload beer from a cooler. Duck is perched on a rock, watching them.

“Going to catch up on town gossip?”

“Damn right. These kinda shindigs are always fun to watch. Though if they start boning, I’m out. I’m a ghost, not a creep.”

“Agreed.” Indrid stretches out on the stone to enjoy the show.

It’s well after midnight when the remaining guests--the ones who haven’t snuck off to the bushes--switch the music from alt rock to alt folk, ushering in a series of slow songs that have both the living and the dead swaying.

“Wanna dance?” Duck nudges their feet together.

Indrid stands, pulling him up along with him. There’s a moment of trying to remember whose hand goes where, then Indrid’s arm is around Duck’s waist, Duck’s arm is around his shoulder, and their hands are linked. It’s a clumsy, sort-of waltz, barely in time with the music, but Indrid can’t stop smiling as they spin. He doesn’t look down, doesn’t track their path, nothing in the world could pull his gaze away from the curves of Duck’s face.

When the song ends, stars glitter above and beneath them.

“Danced us halfway across the lake.” Duck smiles up at him.

Indrid rests their foreheads together, “Shall we see how many dances it takes to reach the other side?”

“Lead the way.”

------------------------------------------------------------------

They’re walking their usual path along the lakeside when Duck asks, “If you ever got the chance to be alive again, what’s the first thing you’d do?”

Indrid toes pebbles into the water, “Truthfully? Come back here with a Ouija Board so we could talk.”

Something strained enters Duck’s laugh, “First thing you’d do is come back to the place you died? You’d be alive, ‘Drid, you could do anythin’ you wanted to.”

“I feel alive now, more than I did for much of my actual life. I know that sounds sad and pathetic but it’s true. The years we’ve spent together makes me feel like the world is full of promise, the future is bright, even though we’ll never move beyond this patch of trees until the heat death of the universe.” He pivots so they’re face to face, “why? What would you do?”

Duck scratches the back of his neck, “Come back here and try to find you. I...I love you so goddamn much, Indrid. I wish you’d gotten to live the long, long life you deserved but, uh, at the same time I’m so fuckin’ glad we met. That we found each other, even if it was too late for us to build a life together.”

Indrid cups cold cheeks, guides their lips together and smiles when Duck gasps into the kiss. Strong arms loop around him and god, and he feels safer and more loved than he’s felt since he was a kid.

When they part it’s only with enough space to speak.

“I love you too, Duck.”

Another kiss, longer and deeper than the Greenbriar river that runs in the distance. Thank goodness he doesn’t need to breathe. So why is he lightheaded?

He gasps, gulping air as Duck does the same.

“The fuck?” Duck touches his throat as confusion and adrenaline pound in Indrid’s chest.

“Oh my god.” He sets his right hand on his chest, his left hand on Duck’s.

Heartbeats, two of them, pulsing steadily under his palms.

“How?” Duck whispers.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know if others would see…”

Branches crack to their left.

“Oop, sorry fellas, didn’t mean to startle you. Just lookin for a nice place to eat lunch.”

“I think I speak for both of us when I say this is a wonderful spot. And that we were just leaving.”

“Yep, it’s all yours.” Duck is already pulling them towards the trail.

“Thanks! Y’all have a nice day.”

“I’m not sure I could have anything else.” Indrid kisses Duck’s warm cheek as they follow the signs for the campground ranger station.

“No fuckin kiddin.” Duck smiles, then laughs, and Indrid can’t help but laugh with him as a thousand new futures enter his mind and they hurry down the sunny path, their shadows chasing them all the way.

[alanandamber]

Dearest Amber,

It’s tough writing to you from our encampment in the mountains. Pens are hard to come by, and the officer in charge says that love is a weakness. I’m haunted by the thoughts of missing Charlotte’s first violin recital at the academy, but I will bring her back a token from the places I’ve visited. Will you still love me, when I return with one arm?

I’m writing here because I don’t really have anywhere else to write, and because I have nobody else to talk to about this. There are a lot of struggles with my marriage, but I think right now the tough one is that I’ve focused on my career for the last 6 years, since I had already kind of given up on my own happiness to try and keep some happiness for the people around me. At the end of the day what that means is my friendships from before have atrophied and there isn’t much of a support system for me to lean on. On top of that, I was there when the two people she got the most support from died...knowing she’s having an even harder time than I am, with nobody to talk to or get support from, that’s really hard for me. It isn’t hard because I’m unsure, it’s hard because I’m an empath and I’m watching someone else suffer in their own pain with nowhere to go and I’ve always been the place to go.

It’s also important for me to remember that this hasn’t made me a saint. Let’s face it, if I was unhappy for that long so was she, and by letting things go just to be her support system and friend, I hurt her too and it makes me a coward.

It’s also tough because I don’t know what’s next, for either of us. I’m a logical person and I feel most comfortable with a little bit of routine and structure, or when I’m reasonably comfortable that the future has a certain predictability. For me right now, I’ve lost predictability and that’s where my anxiety usually gets a good hold.

I’m still trying to get the right words in the right order to get across to you what I tried to say out loud yesterday about you being special, and about you deserving to know that for someone, the idea of not having you in their life is awful. I also talked about my gut and my instinct - that sounded arrogant. I’m not always right, nobody is. Some of these things will sound either like I’m self conscious or not confident, and some of them will sound like I’m being materialistic or vain, but I don’t mean them that way.

1. You’re beautiful. That’s a simple phrase but one I can’t be clear enough about. I mean it in two distinct ways and I’m going to try and say them here, I’m better with writing than I am at saying things out loud. I’ll start out with physical beauty - it floors me. I’m not taking about edited pictures and your naked body, although 🤤. I’m talking about your basic physical presence. When you’re talking to me, when you’re just being you, with no prep or extra effort to be the hottest or sexiest you can be in a moment. It’s actually overwhelmingly beautiful. I’ve always been a little shy, and a little quiet. If I saw you on the street my jaw would drop and never in a million years would I have the confidence to approach you. No way. That girl is in another league. I don’t even know if she’s real. I don’t mean that to be self conscious. I really don’t. Although I do think it’s important for you to remember I’ve been in a long term relationship and marriage for 5 years and have felt absolutely zero need to have confidence or be sexually attractive because...well that part of me hasn’t had a place here and I’m probably going to need work to get it back. That’s not sexy at all. I don’t want you to think I’m a project.

Then, it really gets me. Your beauty barely even starts with the physical aspect. Your mind - Jesus Christ your mind. You are brilliant, and you are adventurous, and you are curious, and you are hilarious. You’re...you. Wow...are you ever. Your mind is easily the most gorgeous thing about you, which is saying a lot because 🤤😍. You are out of my league, I can learn from you, and experience with you, and grow. Wow. My command of the English language is also totally inadequate in comparison. I’m going to have to make up for it in other ways.

2. My curiosity about you never stops. It’s all I think about. In a way it’s such a bummer to have not known you even in chaotic times because it’s part of your story and what makes you who you are. I have no interest in only knowing you as you are now after a pivotal point in your life. On top of all the stress in my house right now and all the uncertainty and negativity, I’m sitting here wondering what you are like I’m your calm moments alone, or when you feel proud. I wonder what struggles you have that you don’t verbalize, or when you cry, and what do you cry about? Or do you? I wonder abo that sensitive side you mentioned that you don’t really show, and what that part of you is all about. But you know what, you’re not “exotic”. I’ve been thinking about this and I want you to know it - I think the difference between what I feel and being curious about something new and exotic is the difference between infatuation, and following your heart. You are not perfect. You never claimed to be and neither did I. I am not putting you on a pedestal. I am not worshipping you and telling you that you are never going to stumble. You’re not a research project that I can “complete”. After every curiosity about you, there’s another. It’s not about infatuation and solving the puzzle of the perfect woman, it’s about knowing all of you and giving you the safety and love you deserve from a man who feels like this about you, and hopefully if I play my cards right, being the right recipe for you that gives you all the same feelings. I’m not physically perfect by any means. I’m not sure what you meant about “something small” can change the vibe but I’m gonna throw it right out there, I’m in no way perfect. I grew up poor as hell and not in a super functional family. I always wanted straighter teeth and my mom never really took my to the dentist. I’ll always be self conscious about that. I don’t want your reassurance, gorgeous, I want your heart, and I’m playing for keeps but I want the real thing.

3. I’ve NEVER wanted children, or any of that. I never even really saw myself getting married - this current situation was more of a alignment of a string of events than a fulfillment of a path I wanted. And yet, I’m sitting here day dreaming about all of it with a woman I’ve never even touched. I’m thinking about your future and our future and what it will look like, where it will be, what struggles we may have to face together, and what triumphs there might be. I’m thinking about your next step and how I never want to put you in a place where you feel you have to do work you don’t want to just to pay the rent. I’m thinking about you, and me, and growing old and having fun. Is it science or biology? I don’t fucking know, love. I may never.

You’re not off the hook for answering questions.

[stevesharrlngtons]

Hiiiii💕 May I request prompts 69 and 23 with Steve?? I’m glad you’re writing for stranger things again btw💝

i just really miss talking to you

i hate when people just copy a scene word for word in fanfic. while this is inspired by a scene in st3, it is not the same. but beware if you haven’t finished, mild spoilers!

the fear and adrenaline in your system had been working in such high doses, the sobering reality and fatigue was finally setting in. after you had been tied to an unconscious steve harrington and cried form sheer overwhelmed panic, you had nothing left to give. all you could think about was your impending death and how sad your mother was going to be. you had stopped trying to wake up steve hours ago (or minutes? you’d lost all semblance of time).

you almost envied him, you wanted to be in a sea of blackness right now too.

at least then you would have less to worry about. for yourself, for dustin, for erica, for the town, for el, for steve. god, you were terrified for him. 

you thought of everything you wished you would have said, things you should have said, things you wish you could take back. you thought about waking up with him, the sun beaming through his bedroom window and baking you both beneath the blankets. you thought about the wheezing laugh he’d give you when he really loved one of your jokes. you thought about the instant safe relief he gave you whenever you were wrapped in his arms.

you thought of the ways his lips tasted (peppermint), the way he smelled (evergreen trees and lavender), the way his hands felt on your skin (perfect).

and you thought of all the fights. the hasty insults and unforgettable jabs. the fear and the pressure. the nightmares and the trauma that lived beneath your skin after all the horrific monsters you both had faced… how it had all been too much.

soon, steve’s incoherent gurgling broke you from your memories.

“steve? hey, can you hear me?” you asked, frightened.

“think so.” he slurred and you slumped your shoulders in relief.

“jesus christ, you scared me! don’t do that to me again, harrington.”

“get the shit beat out of by dolph lundgren? ok, yeah, will do.”

you chuckled. you needed to laugh, and you felt steve knew that.

“well i hope drago knocked loose an idea on how the hell we can escape this.”

“not seemin’ like it, no. you can headbutt me if you want? maybe i just need one more good hit to get the juices flowing.” steve prompted.

again, you laughed.

“i’ll save that for our last ditch effort.”

“we aren’t there yet?” steve turned his head to the side. out of your periphery, you saw just how bad his wounds we’re looking.

“not to alarm you or anything, but you look like a pollock painting.”

you felt steve’s shoulders rumble with laughter, “wow, thanks, (y/n/n). not alarming at all.”

“i’m sorry!” you tried to hold back your giggles, “i’ve lost all semblance of a filter. it just came out.”

“ok then, tell me one thing.”

“what?”

“how’s my hair?”

you both broke out in laughter. it felt nice, cathartic.

when you both died down and the harsh reality came back, you sagged your head backwards onto steve’s shoulder and watched the lights flicker.

“how do we keep ending up like this?” steve asked, his voice bleak.

“fighting demogorgons, demodogs, fucking evil russians? when is this gonna stop?”

“hopefully soon. because we make it out of this and win, or they come back in here and paint the walls with our brains. either way…” you watched the small black dot of a fly trapped in the light fight to escape.

“forgot how blunt you can be.”

“it can be helpful if you remember correctly. it’s helped the last two times we’ve done this.”

“guess you’re right. think i woulda died if you weren’t there to think things through.” steve remincined.

“yeah?”

“yeah, god yes. how i have continued livin’ at all without you, (y/n/n) is a fuckin’ miracle.”

“day to day you get by just fine. special live or death situations- yeah you need me.” you snicked.

“day to day… m’not fine. i still need you.” came steve’s crestfallen reply after a beat of pause.

“that russian sure beat some bullshit into your head, huh?” you deflected with a breathy laugh.

“don’t do that.”

“do what?”

“pretend that i’m only saying this because i just got the shit beaten out of me. broken or fixed, i’ll always mean it.”

with your head still resting against his shoulder and still watching the fly become more and more desperate, tears filmed your eyes.

“i just… fuck, i just really miss talking to you. i miss being with you. being around you. wanna know how i know that? because somehow going through this literal hell we’ve been through today, it’s still the happiest i’ve been in months. because at least i’ve been with you. if we’re gonna die, it’s… well it’s gonna be a bummer. but hey? i get to die with you. so maybe it’s not all bad.”

you sniffled pathetically and let out a shaky breath.

“yeah, maybe it’s not all bad.” you both macably laughed.

because he was right. being with steve, even in times when you were staring death in the face were still better than being without him. so, you decided to work harder.

you brought your head up, “alright, harrington, enough talk. we’re getting out of here.”

“that’s ma’girl!” steve cheered, still with a slight slur.

you rapidly looked around, assessing anything in the holding room that could be used to cut your binds. the sterile steele held mostly nothing of use, until you saw them. a pair of gleaming silver scissors a few yards away.

“bingo.” you grinned.

“there,” you gestured with your chin to the scissors for steve to see, “we’re gonna hop slowly over there and cut ourselves out.”

“you think we can?”

“i said it didn’t i?” you snarked playfully.

steve snickered, “then i trust ya, (y/l/n).”

“on three.”

“ok, ok, gotcha. got it.” steve nodded.

you counted, you hopped. it worked.

again. again. again. again.

until, you fucking made it.

“fuck yeah! shit yeah, we are spies man! totally spies! we’re winning!” steve exclaimed gleefully.

you wanted to tell him to calm down, but you didn’t. you just grinned and worked on knocking the scissors from the table into your lap. and after much trial and error and many held breathes on both yours and steve’s part, you had them.

you had the fucking scissors and your wrist binds were off. then your forearms, then your ankles. then steve’s wrists, his arms and legs.

once he was stood and regained his bearings, you both couldn’t held but manically grin at each other, utterly surprised that your little plan had worked.

“we are soo spies.” you said giddily.

“hell yes we are!” steve cheered, bringing you into his arms.

and you felt safe, like you never left them.

“we’re gonna help get, gonna save the world.” steve said into your sweat and blood matted hair, not caring about that for a second.

“i wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.” you replied, burrowing deeper into his chest.

“yeah?” the optimistic twinge to his voice made your heart skip.

pulling away just enough to meet his gaze, you leaned up to place a light kiss to steve’s busted lips. not caring they were salty and metallic.

“yeah.”

“(y/n), i just gotta say, before anything else happens, because the last week has been so weird and i just… i don’t know when we’re gonna get a moment like this again. (y/n/n) i still lov-”

“wait, agent harrington.” you cut him off, “world first, confessions second.”

you knew he’d have time to tell you later. either way, it didn’t matter. you knew. and you did too

[mymelodyheart]

Forget Me Not Chapter 5 ~Cours de Français~

Why is Jamie staring at my mouth like that?  

He reminded Claire of a ravenous lion looking at his first meal in days, and herself as the sacrificial lamb waiting to be gobbled. She wondered if he could hear the snap and crackle in her chest and the pop of her exploding ovaries. Watching Jamie's head lowered closer to her face, his gaze still centred on her lips, Claire's heart gave a little kick. A maelstrom of mixed emotions battled its way to the surface, the echo of their childhood seemingly incongruous to what was transpiring. Summoning the memory of the sweet boy she once knew was in vain, and instead, reality had put in its place a man she barely recognised; rugged, masculine, and oh so seductive.

"I'll be damned if I allowed Frank to be yer first kiss," Jamie muttered, before grazing his tongue between her lips, forever, irrevocably blurring the lines of their relationship. 

Jesus H.Roosevelt Christ!   She refused to close her eyes, watching in fascination as he closed his. It was a mistake when her world spun upside down, and her equilibrium went off-kilter, making Jamie's face blur into two, before fusing back together.  Oh Lord ! She was quite sure his heavy breathing had left condensation in her contact lenses or perhaps it had slid to the back of her eyeballs, causing the hazy focus.

He paused for a heartbeat, waiting for her to pull away. And when she didn't, with one large hand at her waist and the other cradling the back of her head, he drew her to him, his tongue gently urging her mouth to part before brushing his across hers in an achingly slow, feather-like sweep. Jamie tasted her the way he ate when he took a bite of the first French dessert he ever made, Coeur à la Crème ; a leisurely, savouring mouthful followed by a rapturous groan.

Hot! Hot! Hot!  His work-roughened fingers were creating tiny sparks of fireworks on her skin as images began to form in her head. Visions of daffodils blooming in fast forward motion, choir boys at the village church singing Hallelujah  as the organ struck a high note and fire hydrants erupting aerated water in the air, were floating in her mind. This was better than the chick flicks she used to watch, where "boy kisses girl" scenes had made her sigh dreamily.

Oh, dear God, what the hell is happening!  First, Frank wanted to kiss her after their coffee date earlier, and now Jamie was enlightening her in the art of French kissing. 

Shut up, Beauchamp! You've always wanted this- two former popular blokes from your school want you... so what are you complaining about? 

That was back in school. And Jamie is my brother!

Where does that say he's your brother?

There's an unwritten rule...

Yeah, unwritten rule my arse! It's one that you made up. Just enjoy the kiss!

Claire wanted to act sophisticated, cool and dispassionate, unlike the bumbling, awkward geek she was often referred to when she was in school. Closing her eyes for the first time, she tried to relax in Jamie's arms, but it was proving to be a difficult feat when he was making all sorts of sounds at the back of his throat. She opened her mouth more, shyly kissing him back and to her surprise, Jamie's chest heaved, and his body trembled.  He must have liked that!  Feeling emboldened, Claire mimicked his movements, gliding her tongue over his, as her hands clutched at his shoulders and fingers dug into his muscles. Her audacity made Jame pull her harder against him, whooshing the breath out of her lungs. Her heart was pounding like mad as blood rushed through her ears, her legs turning into the consistency of Jamie's Sherry trifle when not fully set.

With Claire's response, Jamie's kiss became more demanding, as he slid his fingers through her hair, angling her head so he could run his tongue along her jawline. "Ye want me to stop, Sassenach?" he gritted his voice sounding like as though he'd been a month without a drink.

No don't stop!  Claire could only shake her head. Jamie walked her backward until her back met the wall, shifting her awareness to his taut, solid muscles and arousal. She nearly giggled as his hard, giant appendage pressed against her belly, reminding her of Jenny's wooden rolling pin.  Oh, sweet Lord! Stop thinking and keep up! Stop contemplating about his size, or all the practising it took to hone that perfect kiss or what the sounds behind his throat meant.

She was kissing back and shamelessly enjoying it, but how had she gotten here and why is Jamie kissing her? She hadn't expected to be kissed today, but here we are - first Frank making a move and now Jamie. Was it written on her forehead,  "wants to be kissed" ? So many questions but they were all being swallowed up by riots of sensations that was alien to her. Not that she was totally naive - definitely not! Not after being introduced to Carter, Geillis' vibrator and soft porn, once again thanks to Geillis' collection from her internet browser's bookmarks. 

Claire understood quite well the mechanics of kissing and what it can lead up to, but objectivity had no place in the present when her blood felt like bubbling sugar syrup. Maybe it had something to do with how Jamie looked at her, his eyes a peculiar hue of dark and intensity, and his jaws clenched and taut as a bowstring. How many girls had he looked at the way he was looking at her? Suddenly, she felt a pang of jealousy hit her with full blow in the abdomen and hated the thought of him looking at someone else like that, now that she had been on the receiving end.  For crying out loud, Beauchamp, get a grip!

"Claire are you up there?"  Bloody fucking hell, speaking of rolling pins, it's Jenny! When did she come home?

Their movements stilled, their lips parted as the spell cast between them broke. 

"Coming!" Claire called out without taking her eyes off Jamie. She was surprised to discover Jamie's breath was laboured and harsh as hers; moreover, she was able to find her voice after the intensity of their kiss.  Well, today was undoubtedly full of surprises. Whatever next?

"It's Frank! He says you dropped your phone in the parking lot!" Jenny shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Oh, bummer... just what I needed!  "Thanks, Jenny, will be there in a sec," she replied, hoping she sounded steadier than she felt. Her nerve endings still tingled, and there was a throbbing pulsing between her thighs. Claire needed to put a name to what she was feeling, but it can wait...Frank was downstairs.

Not trusting herself to speak, she made a move towards the door, but Jamie stopped her, grabbing her elbow as he pulled her to him once more for a brief, yet lingering kiss. When he finally released her, he stroked her cheeks. "Remember this when you talk to Frank," he murmured, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

Oh, sweet Lord!  Without saying a word, she staggered back, slamming her shoulders on the edge of the door frame before shuffling away.

..........

Frank was stood in the main doorway looking out, hands stuffed in the pocket of his jacket. He spun around as soon as he heard Claire approach.  How rude of Jenny not to let him in! 

"Hello, love, you dropped this as you got into the car," he said, waving her iPhone. "You reversed so quick, you probably didn't hear me call after you."

Claire knew well why she was trying to make a fast get-away from Frank earlier. He had wanted to kiss her, and she had retreated hastily in panic. Before she could reply, she heard Jamie coming down the stairs.  Oh shite, I'm in a pickle!   "Thanks for stopping by," was all she could say, trying to sound calm as she took her phone back from Frank.

"Are you alright? Your face looks a bit flush. I hope you're not coming down with something." Frank's one hand reached out to touch her forehead as a look of concern crossed his face. 

"No...I'm alright. No, actually, I have this blasted headache. Maybe I just need to lie down," Claire explained, one hand reaching out to touch her head for emphasis. She wasn't fibbing this time as she felt Jamie stand behind her, one arm resting on the door above her head.

"Hey, Jamie...I just stopped by to drop Claire's phone."

"How are ye, pal, ages since I've seen ye...we ought to go for a couple of pints and catch up one of these days before the hotel opens," Jamie greeted his friend, his voice sounding absurdly normal, if not a bit too cheerful as if the kiss never happened. Looking down at the top of Claire's head, he smiled. "Claire's headache must be from the rigorous French lessons I've been giving her."

Claire choked on the air she inhaled, her face reddening over again.

"French lessons?" Frank's brow furrowed watching Claire fail miserably in suppressing a cough. He reached out to thump her on the back, but Jaime's hand got there first, massaging the area between her shoulder blades. "Well, Jamie's the man for anything French. He worked there for many years...blimey Claire, get yourself some hot toddy and go to bed..."

"No, really...I'm alright," she gasped, blinking away her watery eyes.  Bloody hell Jamie!  "But I think I will lie down before going out tonight..." Claire couldn't stand there any longer and have a normal conversation with Jamie and Frank. She knew her face was like an open book, and any second now, she will reveal what just ensued upstairs. What she needed was a few moments to herself to gather her thoughts.

"French lessons?" Jenny chimed in as she came out of the dining room and walked towards them with a box of empty bottles to be recycled. She placed them on the floor by the entrance, before straightening up. "Jamie, lad...I could do with some French lessons...maybe I'd join Claire during one of yer sessions."

This time it was Jamie's turn to choke, and this time it was Claire's turn to slap him on the back.

Taking it as her cue to leave and head for the safety of her bedroom, Claire gave Frank a quick peck on the cheek. "Right I'm off for a nap. See you, Saturday!" She didn't wait for a reply and hurried up the stairs. Once in her room, she locked the door, replaying Jamie's kiss over and over in her head, her date on Saturday already totally forgotten.

..........

Jamie looked at his watch...still ample of time to chop more woods before dinner in the Italian restaurant. He flipped off the split wood he was chopping on a tree stump and placed a new block. There were enough firewoods for the coming winter, but he needed to exorcise all the pent up energy that had accumulated after kissing Claire. Using a heavy sharp tool while being so epically predisposed to having a hard-on, coupled with the fast diminishing daylight, is quite a dangerous thing, and may result in an injury. 

That possibility should have been enough to ease the pressure in his cock, but after that kiss, he knew there was no relief. Every time he allowed his mind to wander, it always returned to Claire. Sure, he was in love with her and always had been, but this is now a totally different ballgame. He was no longer a boy, and it was no longer enough just to hold her hand and be content to have her by his side. He wanted more, but there was Frank too. He surmised Claire was a virgin after that little detail of not having been kissed  slipped out. The thought of Frank taking her innocence made his stomach churn. They might be good friends, but he'd been an utter idiot back in their school days, and Claire could never fault him.

Years of self-imposed restraint, it all came to a tipping point when he walked in on Geillis and Claire about to kiss. Two women kissing each other should have been a sensual experience to watch. Instead, it made him feel as though his skin was too tight like he was on the verge of combusting. The idea of anyone touching Claire, man or woman, especially Frank, didn't sit well with him. He didn't want anyone else to lay a finger on her. Except for him.

On the other hand, the idea seemed so preposterous as she considered him as her brother.   Surely not, after that kiss?  Back in their school days, no one even gave her a second look nor noticed her more exceptional qualities. It had been him who appreciated her adorable and funny side. It had been him who was there when she needed someone most. Generous to a fault, and despite disappointments in her school life, Claire always had a smile for everyone. Except, the kids in school chose to ignore her. It was a good thing there was Willie and him watching over; otherwise, she would have been bullied out of Scotland. Now that she was back for good, everyone was noticing.  Oh hell yes, they are noticing alright...damn them all!  He knew because he overheard people talking about her at the construction site in their hotel. She was no longer the awkward orphaned child. They mentioned her now by her name...instead of referring to her as the Fraser foster kid. Now she was the girl next door who had decided to fulfil every man's naughty fantasy, and all Claire ever did to achieve that effect was to grow up nicely. Not even Frank was immune to her charms who tend to gravitate more towards blonde women, and now he had his eyes on her too.  Damn ye, Frank!

And there was the kiss. Jamie had kissed girls before, and he knew there was nothing sisterly the way Claire had responded to him. She was hesitant initially, quite reasonably as he had taken her by surprise. In fact, he had taken himself by surprise. It was never his intention to kiss, but damn, the sight of her lips parted, and eyes closed waiting for Geillis, did it for him. When Claire responded to his kisses, there was this urgency crowding him. To take as much as he could and memorised her taste. Never before had anyone kissed like her, honest and unrestrained and with so much trust. No way was he allowing Frank to get a taste of that, not if he could help it!

Jamie knew if he was to pursue the idea of being with Claire, he needed to talk to her first and then his family after. He'd watched her for far too long looked at another boy with lovestruck eyes. Although Jamie was lusting after her, all he could think of right now was how much he wanted her heart more than anything. Jamie needed to know if it's still Frank she wanted after all these years. Until he knows, he needed to keep his hands away from her or someone could get badly hurt.

[pantsaretherealheroes]

Tagged in this quarantine quiz by @village-skeptic

Are you staying home from work/school?

Working from home, which is interesting, but grateful to be able to!!

If you’re staying home, who’s with you?

No one, because my roommate kind of semi-moved out while i was still working and i think she feared me catching something from The Public, and now she’s distancing at her bf and his parents’ place

Are you a homebody?

kind of? i mean not being able to Go Out and Do Things has kind of taken the shine of staying in, and i now am crazy missing doing things with people, but some weekends i like just staying in and doing my own things :)

What movies have you watched recently?

The Florida Project - amazing, I cried, seriously it’s so worth the watch (also check out Tangerine, also by Sean Baker, also a lot)

Fast Colour (pretty great!! heart-based sci fi about matrilineally passed supernatural powers and three generations of black women who have them!! the cast was top notch!!)

The Invisible Man - a bitch was SO STRESSED watching this and even though it’s well made and INSANELY well acted, the script is definitely very holey and tbh i don’t feel like i really got much out of the experience other than feeling gaslit for two hours? Oh and Aldis Hodge’s arms. That was pretty good. Just look that up rather than watching this.

Love, Wedding, Repeat - i have watched some netflix trash in my time but jesus christ this one is bad and not fun bad, like, wastes what could be a fun groundhog day/about time kind of premise and also AISLING BEA who is TOO GOOD for it.

also I rewatched God’s Own Country, it’s very slow but ugh when it gets going the tenderness? the ending?? the aesthetic of a burly, bearded man carrying a tiny lamb he helped survive being birthed around in his jacket next to a campfire?? truly amazing

Show?

Tiger King (fascinating but DEEPLY depressing, god) 

Dispatches From Elsewhere (i deeply love it, it’s like one part wonder and whimsy, one part you’re going to cry because there are a lot of different and relatable lonelinesses in it, one of the main characters is a beautiful and amazing trans girl (played by a trans actress, can you imagine??) and she has a really sweet love interest-story with Jason Segel, also has Sally Fucking Field and Andre Benjamin and Richard E Grant, it’s just real good my dudes)

also been tragically watching a lot of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, which I started honestly, thought it was dumb but kept watching and now i’m invested so i guess i really played myself there

An event that was cancelled that you were looking forward to?

nothing specifically, but a while back my mum and I were planning to go to the Edinburgh Writers Fest this year, and then we decided it was too expensive/too soon and then it got cancelled along with everything else, so, glad we didn’t do that - but she’s in another state and the borders are closed so i can’t even make plans to see her at home now, which is kind of a huge bummer

What music are you listening to?

I’ve been listening to a lot of random spotify suggested music 

recently i’ve listened to “Army” by Ben Folds Five a LOT while i’ve been working from home and idk what it is i think it’s the horn section i’m just listening to it a lot

Also: Man on the Moon - Zella Day; Hard to be the Bard - Christian Borle, Something Rotten cast; Vertigo - Khalid; Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival; Do I Ever - Kensington; Strawberry Blond - Mitski; Love On The Brain (Both the original Rihanna and the Cold War Kids/Bishop Briggs cover)

What are you reading?

Not reading much right now it’s like writing and nintendo switch and going through my movies list for my free time rn (i also think not commuting to work every day has had this effect too!) 

I think the last book I read was Casey McQuiston’s Red, White and Royal Blue and it was very cute and easy to read (i also have a sneaking suspicion i used to follow her on here way back when? if so, very happy for her!) 

What are you doing for self care?

Nintendo Switch.

No but like, seeing my family who live nearby even if i can’t see my friends, watching movies on my list, taking up knitting again, writing, making 1000 cups of tea a day etc etc and trying to look nice for myself at least, and going on walks after work are all helping!

Anyone who feels like doing this one…consider yourself tagged!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 186: Lunch and Then Some Light Noumu Battling

Previously on BnHA: The New JP Hero Billboard Chart Top 10 rankings were announced and the heroes each gave a short little speech. My new adult bird son Can You Smell What The Hawk Is Cooking stole the spotlight by basically saying, “y’all need to stop being such bummers, we’re the best that the world’s got now so let’s fucking act like it.” We learned that Hawks is basically a hero prodigy, having started his own hero agency at the tender young age of 18, and now having risen all the way to #2 at age 22. Anyway, he then handed the mic over to Endeavor who went with the short and sweet “just watch me” route, for better or worse. Afterwards Endeav throttled Hawks a little bit in the privacy of his dressing room, and Hawks apologized and then said he actually needed Endeavor’s help for something. “Do you remember the Noumus?” I then proceeded to lose my shit, as we transitioned to some unknown location where an unknown figure was talking to an unknown Noumu with a Kurogiri face (!) who could TALK BACK (!!!!). Then I really lost my shit omg.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor and Hawks go for a stroll on their lunch break. Hawks casually saves like 15 random people and attracts a crowd of fans seeking autographs and selfies. Meanwhile Endeavor attracts one (1) fan, and tries to offer an autograph of his own only to send the kid running off in tears because Endeavor’s aloof attitude is apparently what makes him cool lol. So as Endeav tries to sort all of that out, he sits down with Hawks in some fancy high-rise restaurant. Hawks tells him about some rumored Noumu sightings that he’s been investigating all across the country. He says he flew out to the locations, but couldn’t find any evidence. He theorizes that someone might be purposely spreading rumors in order to sow fear among the general populace. And he says he wants Endeavor, the newly crowned number one here, to be the one to put the people at ease. Meanwhile he himself just wants to chill out, and he would like nothing better than an ideal world so peaceful that heroes can just relax. Anyway, so then that Talking Noumu from the last chapter comes flying at them from out of nowhere and smashes through the glass and is all “WHICH ONE OF YOU IS STRONGEST.” So Endeavor goes to fight him.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 208 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

omg

I think this might be my favorite SJ cover like, ever?? is that a huge overreaction? but like, Deku looks so cool. and I fucking love the colors so much. and don’t think I didn’t notice the distinct BakuDeku theme of this green and orange aesthetic, Horikoshi. because I did! notice! gosh these colors look so good together don’t y’all agree. okay fine I’ll shut the fuck up

lmao

this was such a badass cover and then it’s just. completely ruined by the text in the background being all “TOAST ‘EM”

(ETA: that text was so distracting that I honestly didn’t even notice the Noumu in the background. completely missed that. so observant lol. I probably would have noticed in Mangastream’s version, which says “seething!” but that’s pretty funny too tbh)

jesus Endeavor calm the fuck down and put yourself out already. why are you always so fucking angry

holy shit

well now, that’s one hell of an opening hook

the text is all “ever since I could remember, I’ve lived at the whim of others.” and apparently this dude found it suffocating

so here we have a disgruntled office worker about to shoot the place up, presumably? or like, the quirk equivalent of that. how fucking creepy

oh my GOD

IS HE STRIPPING NAKED TO GAIN MORE EMBARRASSMENT POWER

what the fucking fuck oh my lord. every so often Horikoshi is just like “lol I thought of a really weird thing. let’s just roll with it and see where it takes us”

so this man with his weird humiliation kink thinks he’s all that, but!

did Hawks just shoot fucking feathers to cover this man’s R-rated parts

also if Endeavor is even 1% like his youngest son, his favorite food will be soba. moment of truth!

goddammit, Endeavor’s just completely ignoring the question, and he’s actually focusing on stopping the flasher guy while Hawks continues to talk about food

lmao now this stupid fucking dog is running out into traffic

don’t worry kids, Hawks fired off more wings to spirit sweet, stupid Schwartz away to safety

you had me until “chicken liver” Hawks but I guess I could keep an open mind

does Hawks ever actually make eye contact with anyone

I’m starting to feel like he’s the type who would deliberately turn around if he ever did happen to be facing the same direction as whoever he was rescuing. he only does casual rescues

oddly enough I’m liking him less than I did before. Too Cool For That Shit is just not my type. I prefer Too Grumpy For That Shit and/or Actually Fully Enthusiastic And Earnest And Will Do The Uncool Thing Without Hesitation

but I have a feeling that what we see might not be what we get here, so let’s just wait a bit. idk just a feeling about him. because he sure as heck didn’t have that meteoric rise by not giving a damn

(ETA: okay so! needless to say my fears were unfounded as it turns out Hawks’s thing is not Too Cool For That Shit, but actually Too Tired For That Shit, which is actually one of my favorite types. Too Cool is just the persona he puts on because it’s what’s expected of him. but in actuality the reason he seems so nonchalant is because his heart isn’t really in it. this was never something he wanted to do; it was something he was more or less forced into because he was so talented and With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, and so it didn’t really matter what he personally wanted or didn’t want. in other words, Hawks is the very first Reluctant Hero I think we’ve had in this series. he’s someone who is more or less trapped in his role, and by now he’s become very, very good at what he does, but more than anything he would like to one day not have to do it anymore.

but of course not only does he not have that option, he’s somehow managed to get himself in way deeper than most of his peers will ever have to worry about. not only does he have to contend with the everyday stresses of hero life, but he also has a fun undercover double agent mission to worry about! so add in the fear of being caught and the stress of having to play both sides, while all the while trying his best to make sure no innocents get hurt! and having to think about all of this constantly!

basically, up until now I wouldn’t have thought that anyone could come along and actually contend with Aizawa for the title of Most Exhausted Character in the series. but not only does Hawks contend, I think it’s actually no contest. and yet he does it anyway. without complaint. well with a little bit of complaining, but under the guise of being a lackadaisical young twenty-something who isn’t particularly concerned about anything. 

he actually ends up confessing more to Endeavor than I would have expected, given all this. like he was straight up confiding in him. that all turned out to be completely true. but because he says it with that carefree smile, you don’t realize at first how much he’s just kind of quietly suffering underneath it all. like that dog in the house on fire saying this is fine. like, no it fucking isn’t, but he puts on such a good act of being completely unconcerned. it’s astounding in hindsight.

my god I have so many fucking feelings about Hawks apparently. I didn’t mean to essay this much and there are probably more essays on the way too lol. I love my tired bird son too damn much and I hope to god he doesn’t get himself killed fffff.)

anyways he’s signing autographs and giving interviews and shit, and meanwhile Endeavor is just completely being ignored

okay now they’re acknowledging him, but it’s the usual “man, he’s scary!”

(ETA: CAN’T YOU SEE-KUNNNNN)

this kid knows what’s what. Inasa was fucked up for years because of his I Asked Endeavor For An Autograph trauma

now Endeavor is silently and intimidatingly turning his head toward the kids and walking over

by the way these children are fucking adorable and I want take them all home and give them sandwiches and juice boxes

(ETA: I’m so glad Can’t You See-kun is even acknowledged in-universe as the most adorable child on the face of the earth. if anyone ever deserved to become a beloved meme it’s him)

oh shit Endeavor’s making an effort!!

he’s really trying to fix that image omg

but it’s not working!

oh snap. it’s just like All Might said, huh. remember he told you not to try to copy him and to do your own thing, Endeavor

the kid is having a meltdown now and saying that Endeavor doesn’t need fanservice and that the lone wolf attitude is what makes him cool

okay but you can be a lone wolf and still be Not A Dick, though

now the kid is running away crying. jesus christ. well so much for those juice boxes then. maybe I’ll just give them to your shark-looking friend

Endeav’s just staring in confusion and wondering where he went wrong

where you went wrong is being a dick for 40 years. change isn’t just going to come overnight. but you need to keep at it! if you want to be nicer just be nicer, and eventually either your fans will warm up to the change, or you’ll get new fans

(ETA: I stand by this, for the record. I know this arc is doing a whole thing of showing how Endeavor can be a different type of hero than All Might and still be someone that people rely on. but in addition to this I think that if he genuinely wants to be more approachable than he should just keep working at it even if people are naturally going to be really confused by it at first)

anyways so now we’re cutting to some fancy high-rise restaurant and Endeav and Hawks are eating in what seems to be a private room

or more accurately, Hawks is eating, and Endeavor is just sitting there with his arms crossed same as always

are you sure Shouto isn’t adopted? that kid loves stuffing his face during serious discussions

(ETA: lmao and he even does it yet again at the end of this arc. I don’t know why I’m always so tickled by this but I just love it)

anyway, so Hawks is replying that when he wants something he just goes for it. “it’s just my nature”

he apparently tried to draft Shouto after the sports festival! interesting

but he says he’s glad that he ended up with Tokoyami in the end

wow but kind of a dick reason -- “Shouto-kun’s brand took a hit after he failed his provisional license exam”

is he just trying to rile up Endeavor here? interesting

Endeavor says Hawks knows a lot for someone who never went to U.A.

which we kind of already knew (that he’s not a U.A. alum), because otherwise he would have been involved in the Kamino mission. but I wonder where he did graduate from. is he a Shiketsu alum?

how mysterious

(ETA: in the Mangastream version he says “I’ve always been a good observer, you see,” which is something that gets called back to later)

anyway, now Endeavor’s getting impatient and demanding to get to the point

ahasfhkhlkj

yesssss more info about them omgggg. how are there even Noumus anymore with AFO locked up??

okay so Hawks is reiterating the stuff we already know, that “scores” of Noumus were captured along with All for One at Kamino. and that since then, even though the League has been active, they haven’t been able to confirm any new appearances of Noumus

hmm, I see, so it’s going to turn out that it was B

(ETA: actually now I’m wondering if there might be a C and this is purposely trying to mislead us! because everyone always assumed that AFO was the only one capable of producing Noumus, but what if that isn’t the case though?)

Endeavor says that since Hawks wants to team up, that must mean he’s actually found proof of this so-called “rumor”

oh my god Endeavor. why couldn’t we have had you during the last arc. you would have had us out of that bullshit basement in no time flat

(ETA: for real, this arc is only what, nine chapters? the man knows how to move things along)

okay now Hawks is saying that this isn’t the only place where Noumus have been sighted, and that there are rumors all around the country -- though not in the news -- and people have been gossiping

oh for fuck’s sake could you get to the point already Hawks. stop dramatically building up to it

blah blah he heard it from locals when he went on a business trip, and he did a secret investigation at that time but wasn’t able to turn anything up

so he says he got interested after that, and flew around the country to investigate further

so apparently there were similar rumors cropping up in completely unrelated parts of the country, with slight variations

but in the end he wasn’t able to validate any of the rumors

so then if this is all true, how many of these Noumu 2.0s are there??

(ETA: and is any of it actually true? it’s hard to say at this point. I’m learning toward “yes”, or else why bring it up in the first place. there’s gonna be a Noumu arc coming up in the future at some point I think. Noumu Wars)

so Hawks is continuing to munch on his yakitori and he says that ever since the incidents at U.A., Hosu, and Kamino, everyone knows about the Noumus now, and he wonders if it’s just “some asshole with a motive to spread unease” who’s spreading rumors throughout the country

okay but we the readers know for a fact it’s not! and you wouldn’t have called Endeavor to team up if you really thought it was just rumors. so when are you going to get to your point

...no way he’s talking about All for One, is he? "a criminal from a long time ago.” someone who wanted ability users to be free. was AFO the Magneto of his day once upon a time?

(ETA: actually, thinking about this more I think maybe it was the mysterious Destro who was mentioned by Gentle not too long ago and who I’m still hoping to learn more about. he was the leader of the Quirk Liberation Army or something along those lines wasn’t he? definitely sounds like a Magneto type)

he says that the more fear a society has, the more these kind of delusions sell and spread

Endeavor is again telling him to stop being a dramatic fuck and to just get to the point

wha

seriously?? you invited him to lunch just to ask him that?

Endeavor’s asking him what his angle is

did fucking Hawks just admit he wants to 420 blaze it. in my good Christian manga. which takes place and is published in Japan where weed will get you thrown in fucking prison for the better part of a decade. something tells me this is Jaimini’s Box taking certain liberties lol

(ETA: yeah, in Mangastream’s version he says “sit back with a nice cold one” which is much more in line with Japanese culture lol. still, Hawks does give off that stoner vibe a bit, can’t deny)

aww, but this part is sweet

though you do know you’ll end up putting a lot of heroes out of a job lol. safer world = no need for heroes. I’m sure most heroes would take that trade-off any day though

so now Endeavor is being all quiet and seemingly thoughtful

and he’s looking out the window

and... whaaaat is this

...do not fucking tell me this is a Noumu

holy fuck it’s a Noumu

um, what? can we back up just a sec? we just had a whole long discussion all about how there have been no verified Noumu sightings since AFO was locked up, and now one just happens to show up the instant the #1 and #2 heroes are done having their little talk?

lmao and now the hostess is coming with the check

maybe this Noumu’s uncannily good timing was cancelled out by this lady who has the worst timing that any human person has ever had in the history of existence

holy shit look how dramatic this is!?

“HELLO MY NAME IS TALKING NOUMU. WHICH IS THE STRONGEST ONE. RARRRR”

Endeavor is telling Hawks to lead the evacuation

Hawks is asking “what about you?” as if that part wasn’t obvious

RIGHT? suspiciously good timing if you ask me. I don’t have any real clue what’s going on yet, but damned if this is a coincidence

anyways now Endeavor is showing us just why he’s the current number one!

TAKE THAT, SUSPICIOUS TALKING NOUMU

and next chapter we’ll apparently get a whole Endeavor battle. well I hope it’s interesting! this arc is off to a bit of a weird start for me, but I think it’s because several of the pieces have yet to fall into place completely. there are a lot of weird coincidences and things that seem Just A Little Bit Off, and I feel like once we learn why, I’m going to be like, “ohhhhhhh!!”

(ETA: yeah, needless to say there were a lot of “ohhhhhh!!” moments and this arc is incredibly dense on a reread. so much going on here omg. this is good stuff)

no bonus today! I almost ran out of time to even put tags. anyways, toast ‘em Endeavor

[paladin4theright]

Of Birthdays and Relationships

Music sounded loudly throughout Stan Marsh’s house. It was mostly death metal with words unintelligible to anyone who hadn’t read the lyrics. The tv was playing loudly with video games on the screen and other teenagers, anywhere from fourteen to nineteen, were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. Stan had a half full bottle of Jameson in his hand which he’d been drinking straight for the last ten minutes or so. It was amazing how much alcohol the eighteen-year-old could intake but then again, he came from a family with odd but amazing skills. He greeted new people at the door with slurred words and turned around again. He was feeling really good about everything tonight. His parents weren’t home, Shelley was off at college, and he had all the freedom in the world. He started to walk around, stumbling over his own feet occasionally. The only thing that would make tonight better was if he could find his super best friend. “K-Ky?” He called, “Ky-el.” He called, finding it difficult to say Kyle’s name.

Kyle sat alone in the kitchen. He’d just finished his last shot of whiskey and his cheeks were rosy. He decided he had had enough for the night. He had left his fuzzy green trapper on the table and tangled his fingers in his kinky curly red hair. It was a school night and he had a test damn tomorrow morning. He knew if he went to school hungover he would flunk and that was just unacceptable for himself. It was a bummer too, because he was having a lot of fun. He released his hair, grabbed his hat and prepared to tell Stan he was ready to turn in for the night. He stood up, and the walls did waves. “Ooh.” He groaned as he closed his eyes. Maybe he had already pushed his limits. He had decided he definitely needed to go to bed when he heard his name, or something close to it, being called. “Huh?” He called out in reply. When he opened his green eyes, the room was back to normal.

Making his way to the kitchen, Stan smiled to himself and stumbled as he passed Butters and someone else making out on the stairs. He vaguely heard Cartman and Heidi getting into a heated argument about something, but then again, when were they not? When Stan saw Kyle, the biggest, stupidest grin he could muster forced its way out of his lips despite not being able to feel his mouth. Immediately he almost felt like throwing up as his heart thumped loudly in his chest. Man, fucking liquor makes me feel weird around Kyle. He walked up to the red headed teen and placed his right hand on Kyle’s left shoulder to steady himself. He took another swig of Jamie and then wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Dude...dude, why...” He began, then thought of his words. “Why are you all alone?” He asked, looking around the kitchen. It had been abandoned for the time being.

“I dunno dude.” He replied honestly as he shrugged his shoulders. He hadn’t realized there wasn’t anyone in the kitchen with him. “But I gotta go home.” He admitted putting a hand to Stan’s stomach to help steady him. “You got yourself fucked up dude. You are going to regret it tomorrow.” He added thoughtfully with a small smile. “Maybe I should help you into bed before I leave?” He worried about his friend trying to make it up the stairs drunk and alone. He could only imagine his friend falling down the stairs and winding up with a broken neck. That shit happened all the time in South Park. Fuck he hated it here. He needed to do well in school so he could get the fuck outta Dodge.

“Nah, nah, I gotta clean before Randy and Sharon come home.” Stan slurred, wobbling a bit. The Irish whiskey in the Jameson bottle sloshed a bit but it was low enough that there was no worry of it spilling unless it was dropped. “All...also, you can’t leave. This party is bumpin.’ Everyone’s making out and arguing. Fuckin’ even Butters is kissin’ on someone.” Stan laughed boisterously. He was probably a lot louder than he meant to be. It was so difficult to control his volume. “You can’t go. Like, if you’re tired, sleep here. I’ll let you sleep in my...my bed and I’ll sleep on the floor.”

Becoming apprehensive, Kyle said, “I’ll get in so much shit if my mom finds out...” But as he thought about it, maybe spending the night at Stan’s would be the best thing. He pulled out his phone and texted his mom so she wouldn’t worry. He slipped it back into his jeans pocket and then wrapped his arms around Stan’s waist. “Alright, cool dude. I’ll just spend the night here...but we have to go to bed. We all have tests tomorrow.” He reminded Stan. “Wait, Butters is making out with someone too?” He asked, definitely surprised. “Why am I not making out with anyone?” He wondered aloud in mock curiosity. “Oh yeah, it’s because I’m the only one being anal about school tomorrow morning. You know, in six hours.” He stressed vocally.

“Don’t...don’t worry.” Stan grinned, closing his eyes. He smiled so big the tops of his cheeks made his eyes turn into little crescent moons. With Kyle’s palm against his stomach it reacted by doing little weird flipflops. “I-I happen to k-know...” Stan hiccupped as he tried to ignore the nausea wash over him. “Know that this test you’re so scared of right now, you’ll fuckin’ do so good.” He told his best friend. “You do so damned fuckin’ good at all the stuff you do.” He noted with sincerity. “Now c’mon.” He grabbed Kyle’s hand, walked them both to the living room and looked around at all his friends. Seriously, who is makin' out with Butters? Was Butters fuckin' moanin'? “Fuck.” Stan stared for a moment and then turned around. . He noticed Craig and Tweek pouring a couple more glasses for themselves. Both of their eyes were bloodshot and they looked to be enjoying themselves. “H-hey hey hey,” Stan hiccupped loudly enough for everyone to look at him. He let go of Kyle’s hand and walked to the stereo to down the volume. “Get out.” He slurred. “I’ve had a shit ton of fun but everyone needs to leave so I can go to sleep.”

With that, people started nodding their heads. Tweek clutched his shirt and looked to Craig. “-Ngh!- Shit man, I have a fucking test tomorrow, Jesus Christ!” He shrieked and looked around him. “How the fuck can I take a test if all I can see are -nng!- the underpants gnomes?!”

Craig wrapped his arms around Tweek comfortingly and shook his head, “Don’t worry babe. Everything will be alright.” He droned out as he pulled Tweek along with him to leave. "You can stay over with me."

There were some additional moans and groans from people who did not want to leave the party but everyone began to pile out.

Stan smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah, tests and shit. Everyone, get out.” He repeated and began to show everyone the door.

Once all of their peers were out, Stan looked to Kyle. “S-see, everyone is...” He hiccupped, “Everyone is gone now.” He smiled that big, doofus like grin again.

Kyle nodded as he relaxed a little more. His hands rested on his hips as he turned around and looked at the state of the house. It was a fucking wreck. “C’mon dude, we gotta clean this shit before we go to bed.” He stooped over and began to pick up trash, empty beer cans and liquor bottles. Kyle walked to the kitchen and dumped what he had in his hands in the trash can. He picked up the can and walked back to the living room so he could more easily clean up.

It wasn’t long before he wiped down some of the beer spilled on the walls as well as the puke on the floor. Despite being grossed out, Kyle still managed to keep his cool and clean it all up. “There dude.” He hummed quietly as he made it over to Stan who seemed to barely hold his composure. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

That stupid smile never left Stan’s rosy red face. The eighteen-year-old felt good. He felt guilty for not helping Kyle clean but he could barely move without falling over so he’d gone and sat on the couch while his best friend picked up. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of the other teen as he cleaned and it made Stan want to hurl in the best possible way. His heart quaked every time his green orbs fell on him. “You gonna hold m-my hand?” Stan murmured, reaching his left hand out in attempts to grab onto Kyle. He squeezed his fingers open and shut, motioning that he wanted Kyle like a child, he hoped his friend would take the hint. Standing up from the couch, Stan closed his eyes for a moment and almost stumbled backwards. He held tightly onto the bottle of Jameson and grabbed onto the arm of the couch to catch himself. Eyes still closed he reached it up to his lips to take another drink. Some of it spilled onto his shirt but he grinned as he drank a little more. Whiskey was good.

Kyle grabbed Stan’s hand as he rolled his eyes. “Dude, I think you’ve had enough. You are so wasted.” He scoffed as he held onto Stan’s hand tightly and carefully led him up the stairs. They took it one step at a time. Kyle made it halfway and felt a little dizzy himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, preventing himself from swaying. Once a few seconds passed by, Kyle opened his eyes again and the house stabilized itself once again. He led Stan up the stairs and to his room, looking back and checking up on him every so often to ensuring his best friend was still standing and not throwing up or something. Kyle pushed open Stan’s bedroom door and pulled Stan along, closing the door behind him.

“H-hey, we’re in my room.” Stan slurred and looked to Kyle, stumbling backward a bit. “And it’s super quiet in here.” He looked around, then to his own bed. A smile crossed his face. “Bed...I fucking missed you, Bed.” He spoke to his bed as if it were a person. He then turned to Kyle. “Kyle...I fucking missed you too dude.” He mumbled, taking a step toward his best friend and placed his hands on Kyle’s shoulders with a wide grin. “So, like...we’re all alone now.” He commented, wrapping his arms around Kyle’s neck. “I been wantin’ to talk to you all night but couldn’t ever see you.”

Kyle put his hands firmly to Stan’s hips and tried to push the taller boy away. “Yeah dude, that’s because I was in the kitchen.” He replied in a matter-of-fact tone. He looked out the window and grimaced at the smell of Stan’s breath. It smelled heavily like a mix between a bit of weed and Jameson. It wasn’t that it smelled all that horrible but he shouldn’t be close enough to smell his best friend’s breath. “Dude.” Kyle finally said, his brow furrowed as he looked right at Stan, meeting his deep blue eyes with his green ones. “What’s wrong with you?” He growled, growing frustrated. His heart fluttered up into his throat as he watched those half-lidded blue eyes watching him through thick black lashes.

“Dude, I fucking love you.” Stan hummed softly, looking right into Kyle’s eyes the best his own inebriated ones would let him. He stumbled a little bit at the attempt to push him but Stan stood his ground, again to the best of his abilities. Stan was tall, broad, decently strong in stature. He was the star quarterback for the South Park Cows so that really did stand for something. It helped him keep his balance when Kyle had tried to push him away. “I really fucking love you but I can’t let you know that.” He admitted with a sheepish, drunk grin. He leaned forward without warning and placed his chapped lips to Kyle’s smooth ones; his grin when he kissed his friend never left. God, it just felt so nice. So fucking right. Finally, he was kissing someone and that someone was Kyle. Stan felt like throwing up as nausea started settling in, making a home in the pit of his stomach and Stan couldn’t tell if it was because of Kyle or because he’d been drinking. Still, he moved his arms even with them being heavy as they seemed, around Kyle’s neck.

What the hell? Kyle’s stomach flipped and his heart suddenly went wild in his chest. This was his best friend. Super best friend. What was he supposed to do? He stood there for a moment, watching Stan, whose eyes had fluttered closed. He looked so peaceful, happy even, and super, super fucking drunk. Kyle’s face flushed with color that matched his hair and his ears were hot to the touch. He was almost mad at first but he couldn’t find it in his swooning heart to stay that way. He took in a deep breathe through his nose and forced his eyes closed. He pushed his lips against Stan’s just to make his taller best friend happy. His heart hammered in his chest so hard it almost hurt and he was sure for a moment that maybe he was having a heart attack. If he didn’t want it then why was his heart taking a giant shit?

When Kyle kissed him back, Stan grew excited. He began to peck gently at Kyle’s lips, trying to get the other teen to open up to him. His arms tightened around Kyle’s neck and he couldn't help but grin. He moved his head a bit to begin covering Kyle’s face in more kisses, starting at the side of his lips and moving up to his cheeks, forehead, nose and down back to Kyle’s lips. His kisses were drunken and sloppy. Kyle was warm which thrilled the wasted quarterback.

Kyle was complete thrown off guard. He thought maybe it was a joke: Cartman was probably hiding in the closet videotaping this and Kenny snickering under Stan’s bed. Stan genuinely seemed excited, though, and was really into it. Kyle had no words for how he felt. He kissed Stan back a few times but he kept his hands to Stan’s hips to maintain their distance apart. Stan was bigger, stronger than he was and it was difficult fighting against the drunken teen. He felt as though his entire body was engulfed in flames, all lit on fire. Every nerve ending was on edge, acutely aware of the static that lit through the air. Goosebumps ran down his legs and arms and, holy fucking shit, it was kind of turning him on. He finally caved and opened his mouth to the kiss Stan kept wanting.

Giggling when Kyle finally opened his mouth, Stan captured Kyle’s bottom lip in his own and sucked for a moment before letting go. The kisses he gave his best friend were sloppy and drunken but he enjoyed the feeling of Kyle’s soft lips against his own more than he ever thought possible. He could feel the tug of the front of his torn-up jeans. Stan licked lightly at Kyle’s mouth, feeling the warmth that was Kyle’s breath ghost across his face, inhaling the scent of sandalwood and the slight tang of whiskey on his lips. He never wanted this moment to end.

A moan escaped Kyle’s throat before he could catch it. He felt dizzy. This wasn’t right. This had to be a fucked up dream, right? He had known Stanley all his life - he had never had these thoughts or feeling before now. Had he? His lower half was warm and strained as he starting to grow hard. He released one hand from Stan’s hips and pulled his orange jacket down to hide his growing bulge. He kissed back, though, despite himself. Stan’s tongue invaded his mouth and he wrestled his tongue with Stan’s. He wanted to prove that he could be dominant as well. All these feelings were driving Kyle crazy.

Stan moaned behind the kiss and reached in front of Kyle to begin unzipping the other teen’s jacket. He heard the zipper move downward and he grinned. He pulled away from the kiss to pull Kyle’s jacket off him. “Dude, I fuckin’ love you.” Stan’s voice was gentle as he tossed the orange jacket to the floor. “I’ve always fuckin’ loved you.” He sighed and reached up under the hem of Kyle’s shirt. He looked to meet Kyle’s dark, dilated green eyes and watched the other teen through his own ocean pools. He was hot, needed his clothes taken off, and he really wanted to throw up. He thought he’d outgrown wanting to throw up because of crushes. Guess not. He smiled and began to shimmy off his Letterman jacket.

Oh, shit. Oh, fucking shit. These words repeated themselves in Kyle’s mind. This was really about to fucking happen. He helped Stan peel off his Letterman jacket and tossed it to the floor close to his own bundled mess of a jacket. He breathed through his mouth, his heart squeezing and collapsing on itself until it was sore. He suddenly felt nervous, excited. He had so many emotions at once and he was fucking hard. “Fuck, Stan.” Was all he could expel out of his throat and his damn voice cracked. Was this all serious? Should he say he loved him back? Obviously, he did but he wasn’t so sure it was in the same way. Or was it? He didn’t know what the fuck was happening but that it felt so right. And wrong. He crashed his lips against Stan’s, breathing heavily through his nose as he began to unbuckle Stan’s belt.

Strong knees buckled to Kyle’s intense kiss. Stan knew he was hard and as soon as he felt his belt come undone, he moved his own hands to undo his pants, dropping them to the carpeted floor; all he was left in was a plain black t-shirt and a pair of red and black plaid boxers. Once he kicked his pants to the side, he moved to begin undoing Kyle’s belt as well, all the while kissing his best friend. He couldn’t believe they were doing this. Stan felt satisfied, relieved, and continuously queasy at the same time. This felt so good, so right, so natural. This is where he decided he’d belonged when suddenly Stan tore away from Kyle. . He groaned and looked to his best friend with half lidded eyes. “Fuck...” He muttered softly. “Fuck...” He placed his hands to his head and lowered his eyes to look at the ground, closing them as he let out a long exhale. The biliousness came in full force. It made Stan’s stomach tie in knots and he just did not feel very well at all. “Shit, Kyle...” He moaned softly, looking up to his best friend. Stan must have moved his head too quickly because he felt the rush of vomit come up into his throat and he ran for the small trash can he kept next to his desk. He hurled. All the alcohol, all the food, all the kisses which he would miss most of all. He chucked everything up.

Kyle blinked a few times, coming out of his reverie and missing the warmth that had surrounded him. His face slowly turning from a bight scarlet to a light pink as he heard the undeniable sounds of Stan vomiting. Hurling was definitely a mood killer for Kyle. “Shit dude.” He breathed as he buttoned and zipped his pants back up quickly then travelled over to his best friend’s side. “T-told ya you had too much.” He quietly scolded. The room seemed to be spinning, even for him. Was it the alcohol? Or was it a head rush from all the making out? He and Stan were almost going to…Jesus Christ. His cheeks immediately flooding to a bright scarlet and his stomach flipped. “You okay dude?” He asked as he lazily rubbed Stan’s strong, wide shoulder blades.

Stan continued to empty the contents of his stomach. He shook his head during a break in regurgitation and looked to Kyle. His eyes were bloodshot and he felt like death. No way was he going to get any sleep tonight. “Dude,” Stan whined, reaching for some Kleenex that was conveniently placed next to his computer. “Am I dyin’?” Stan had so much concern in his voice. He felt like death was right at his door step. He turned back to the trash can and spit a final time before looking back at Kyle. “Kyle...I feel like shit. And I love you.” He leaned against the nice feeling of his back being rubbed. “You wanna lay down?”

Stan repeating that he loved him made Kyle’s stomach do even more acrobats. By the end of the night his damn stomach could join the circus. Surely this was some kind of joke? Hopefully Stan threw up just because he was super drunk. “I’ll lie down with you as long as you don’t throw up on me.” He gave a meek chuckle as he continued to rub Stan’s back, patting it gently ever so often. “Also, no you are not dying. You drank too much, dude. That’s why you keep trying to profess your gay love for me.” He joked dryly.

A laugh escaped Stan’s throat. “Dude, I do. I fucking love you.” He watched Kyle with a smile on his face. He wiped his mouth with the Kleenex again and then looked to his bed. “Okay, let’s go lay down so I can die in peace.” He joshed. He picked up the trash can and started to stumble towards the bed. It was so strange. When he was kissing Kyle, he felt so steady and his movements seemed so sure. When he wasn’t kissing Kyle, he could barely see straight. Kyle was right. He was definitely going to regret his decisions in the morning, especially since he had to get up for football practice. Ah fuck. Stan sat on the bed and smiled at Kyle. He patted the spot next to him, indicating he wanted Kyle to sit next to him. It felt good sitting down. Stan didn’t feel quite as warm when he wasn’t standing.

Kyle moved over to where Stan indicated him to sit and plopped onto the bed. “Dude, you are too drunk to be saying that.” He responded to Stan telling him he loved him. “I mean, I love you too dude, but seriously.” He declared with a chuckle as he shook his head and tapped Stan’s thick shoulder comfortingly. “Lay down, you need to sleep.”

Stan nodded his head and pointed to the pillow on the other end of the bed. “‘Kay, dude.” He whisperd. He put the trash can beside his bed and smiled at Kyle. “You wanna spoon me?” Stan chuckled, cheeks getting redder as he laughed. “I’ll let you be th-the big spoon.” He laid down, resting his head on his pillow and picking his legs up slowly. He turned so he was laying on his back. He spread his legs so one was to the side of Kyle and the other was off the bed again, foot flat against the floor. His semi-hard on was still evident in his boxers. He grinned to the red headed teen.

Acknowledging Stan’s words, Kyle tried his damnedest to not notice the slight bulge in the boxers as he laid down next to Stan, wrapping his arms around his torso. He put his hands to Stan’s chest, lightly tapping it to a beat that he made up. It felt normal but he knew it wasn’t.

Stan had always been okay with gay people, animals, and things since that time in third grade where he went on Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride. The boat was no longer a thing but Stanley had learned a lot from his adventure alone that day. He’d learned to accept his dog Sparky just as he was and homosexual people were alright too. Stan had been called queer and fag all his life for being an emotional, cynical person and he was fine if people thought of him that way because there was nothing wrong with being gay. He looked to Kyle and moved so he could wrap an arm around the red headed, green eyed teen. He grinned, leaning forward to place a kiss to his best friend’s head. “I love you, Ky.” He remarked genuinely. “You’re my best friend in the whole world. Don’t wanna know what it’d be like without you...”

Kyle smiled, almost immediately turning red at the remark. He felt his heart shit itself for the second time that night. God dammit. What the fuck was wrong with me? He leaned into the kiss and closed his eyes. “You are my best friend too, dude. We have to die at the same time so we never find out, right?” This was something they agreed on in when they were young as well. “I love you too Stanley.” He meant it, whether or not it was platonically or homosexually; at this point, he couldn’t tell which one it was anymore.

*~*~*~*

An annoying and loud noise woke Stan from his slumber and upon waking up, he had the worst kind of headache. Stan reached for his phone to turn off the insistent alarm. Stan’s limbs were curled around Kyle’s but Stanley was determined to make it out of bed. It was five in the morning and the quarterback couldn’t miss practice in an hour. Head throbbing and muscles feeling wobbly, Stan moved as gently as he could to not wake his hard-sleeping best friend. Once out of the human entanglement, he looked at Kyle and smiled. He reached down to cover up the red headed teen and tucked him in. When Stan deemed Kyle sufficiently tucked in, it was time to get ready. Stan, every morning for the last seven years, had put on a football uniform first thing in the morning for practice. He’d pick out his clothes for the day and change after practice at school. Every night he would wash the uniform and then do it all again the next day. As he got dressed, he looked to Kyle again. He was feeling a lot of things for his best friend today, though unsure why. All of the night before had been a blur. He figured he was lucky that he woke up in his own bedroom this time.

Another alarm went off on Stan’s phone, causing the young man to swear and start heading down the stairs. Off to school he went, ready for 5:45 AM football practice.

*~*~*~*

Kyle had an alarm for 6:00AM sharp. As his phone went off from his jeans' pocket, he rubbed his eyes and looked around the room. He reached into his pocket and turned off the alarm and noticed that Stan’s football jersey and Letterman jacket were missing. Good. That meant he should have made it to practice. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to bid the headache good riddance when he remembered the actions that happened between he and Stan. On more than one occasion, Stan had confessed feelings for him. Just the thought created scarlet red cheeks on the ginger haired boy. He got out of Stan’s bed and found his green hat and slipped it on, not worrying about how his hair looked now. He stood up and grabbed his orange jacket that had been discarded on the floor and put it on before going to brush his teeth (Stan always had a spare toothbrush for his best friend) and started to walk to school. The morning air was crisp and dry. His breath could be seen as he let out a sigh and shoved his hands into his pocket. He walked to the bus stop where Kenny, waving at him, already waited patiently.

“Crazy night.” Kenny mumbled happily, muffled in his orange parka. His face was, as always, somewhere lost in the hood. It seemed as though he were in a good mood. As if he had no hang over at all. Asshole.

“Yeah dude, no joke.” He replied softly. Eric walked up, but for once had nothing really to say. Kyle looked at Eric’s puzzled facial expression, but didn’t have the energy to deal with him. The bus pulled up before long and the boys got on to head to school.

*~*~*~*

Football practice was difficult and cold for a hungover Stan Marsh. He’d overdone it on the drinking the night before but hell, it was his birthday. What else was he going to do? His parents had been gone so he had to throw himself a party. Was it his fault his birthday was on a Sunday? Of course not. Though he supposed he could have thrown it on Saturday. But he’d spent all day with Kyle on Saturday and that would have cut into their super best friend time. He smiled, thinking of Kyle. God, he was so fucking cool. Even though he knew he had a test today, he still came and Stan was sure he was taken care of by the ginger teen.

A football came hurdling toward Stan’s face. He caught the ball and started to hurry past Clyde and Token who were both on the “shirts” team during their football drill.

*~*~*~*

The boys made it to school and Kyle was honestly lost in his own world. Kenny and Cartman argued about pointless shit the whole way, which was unusual as it was usually Kyle and Cartman who argued. Kyle decided he had to see Stan. Maybe they should talk about what happened.

“Kyle? Where ya going dude?” Kenny asked, his voice still muffled.

“Going to see Stan. I’ll see you in class.” He replied. Cartman had nothing fucked up to say about it. Was Cartman alright? He usually had something to rip on him about. Kyle shrugged it off and walked for a few minutes. He’d found Stan out in the practice field and he was hoping they would wrap up soon because it was fucking cold outside. Kyle kept his hands in his orange jacket pockets.

Stan pulled his helmet down and adjusted his mouth guard. He rushed past Clyde and Token as he ran their play against the “shirts” team. Stan scored, crossing the touch down line and he looked to Token who’d taken off his helmet and Clyde who was kicking the dirt in anger. Stan grinned at the two guys as Token went to comfort Clyde. Stan looked around for a moment, seeing Kyle, and didn’t stop himself from grinning like an idiot, waving frantically as his heart thumped awkwardly in his chest. Coach blew their whistle to indicate that their mini game was over and that first period athletics period was to begin.

“Get your boyfriend off the field, Marsh. He’s got fuckin’ class to go to!” Coach yelled and Stan nodded, jogging up to Kyle.

“Hey dude,” Stan happily greeted his best friend. A big smile was on his face despite how horrible he felt. He really suddenly felt nauseous again. He placed a hand to Kyle’s shoulder. “Coach doesn’t want visitors today. Pretty sure he didn’t get laid last night because he’s been a complete dick.” Stan laughed. “How ya feelin’?” He asked finally. If he felt like crap then Kyle must have felt like crap too.

Kyle nodded and looked down at the ground, kicking at the grass a bit before looking back up at Stan’s blue eyes. His heart skipped a beat as he thought of those curvy chapped lips on his own. He felt heat rush up to his face and he blinked. “Uh,” He began as he swallowed hard, “I feel alright.” He lied smoothly. “I was just checking up on you really quick. You got really sick last night. Do you...remember?” He asked. Kyle felt face grow bright red at just the thought. They almost fucked last night and Kyle was going to let it happen.

Stan watched Kyle and smiled as he patted Kyle’s shoulder, shaking his head. “Dude, I don’t remember shit from last night. The only thing I kind of remember is seeing Butters sucking on someone’s face.” Stan watched Kyle, still feeling kind of nauseous. He wanted to throw up but he held it back. He wasn’t sure why he felt so sick all of a sudden. “That was hella fuckin’ weird.” He said with a chuckle.

“Marsh, what the fuck did I tell you?!” Yelled Coach. “Get Broflovski off the field and do ten laps around. C’mon!”

Stan smiled back at Kyle. Ten laps around the field was nothing of a punishment so Stan would be fine. “I guess you better get to class, dude. They’ll be missin’ your brains anyway. Thanks for checking in on me! You’re a real friend, dude.”

Kyle blinked a few times, his heart felt like it was physically falling. “Oh, yeah dude. Go run.” He retorted with a fake chuckle. He whipped around, putting his back to Stan, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets and started off towards the school. Fuck. FUCK. Stan didn't remember. His face grew red with frustration. Fucking really? His brows were furrowed as he stared hard at the ground as he walked. What the fuck was he thinking? Did he think it was real? Of course, it wasn’t real. Stan was just fucking around with him last night. He fucking knew it. He held back the biting sting in the corners of his eyes as he headed back to the main building of the high school.

I’ve got quite a few more chapters of this on AO3 if you’d like to read more!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720008

[bitchryver]

controversial opinion you should give us your bi aelin headcanons

sorry this took so long to answer I’ve been on a hunt for receipts x

aelin ashryver is bisexual: a summary

-I’m indebted forever to @blackbeaktrash for pointing this out to me but uhhh remember that post about how Mulan Korra and the short one from the time traveling lesbian game all had one thing in common- the bisexual hair cut ? hello aelins fresh chop in HoF

- the assassin and the desert. every single line. is a wlw tragedy romance ripped straight from a mythology.

- let’s get some direct quotes from the gay awakening that was the assassin and the desert:

~

“Celaena tried not to look too interested, though the girl was one of the most stunning people she’d ever beheld.”

~

“And somehow, the thought of returning to Rifthold without Ansel was a tad unbearable.”

~

“Celaena couldn’t stop her lips from trembling as she asked, “Was it ever real?”

“Ansel opened one eye, staring at the far wall. “There were some moments when it was. The moment I sent you away, it was real.”

~

“ And I think she sent you away because she truly cared for you.

She hated her mouth for wobbling. “That doesn’t make it hurt any less.”

-like Sam is nice rip but I refuse to believe he was aelins first love interest when ansel exists

- i understand where people are coming from when they talk about malide being canon if manon was a man but….i present example a- ansel and celaena the original gay love story to never happen and yet be laced with romantic chemistry

-anyway read the gayssassin and the desert

-aelin describing every woman she meets as beautiful and ethereal and then men are like…’he was tall. he had sword’

- yrene in tab: ‘wow I’d love to travel and be a healer so I could help people’

-aelin, emptying her pockets: you’re so pretty I love you here’s a sack full of cash is that enough? You’re so talented ily

-she loves swords & swords belong to the gays

-aelin calling cha0l ugly the first time she meets him…compared with yrene, a straight woman who’s immediately attracted to him…..Noah fence but….that was her gaydar trying to warn her :/

-aelins the only one who calls out these dumb ass white frat boys on their privilege and their upper class straight man bullshit!!shes having none of it !!!

-doriman in tog: “hey aelin? would you ever consider putting your life at risk and jeopardizing your safety to be with me?”

-aelin, right before she goes to have breakfast in bed with her beloved idol nehemia:

-while we’re on the subject, aelin taking literal WEEKS to notice if a mans attractive or not but describing every woman she meets as good looking within SECONDS even if she hates them

-Like LOOK

-I mean I cannot relate to the straight experience but I cannot imagine this is how a straight woman talks about women

-SHE DOESNT EVEN LIKE LYSANDRA AND SHES ALL IN THERE TALKING ABOUT HER ‘SENSOUS MOUTH’ IN QOS i mean

-aelin: the woman was built like a mythical goddess…she radiated beauty and sensuality from every pore

-aelin : this is rowan he’s my husband and he’s built like a TANK

-It took aelin six months to realize he was hot compared to literally everybody else who wanted to jump him mere seconds after meeting him(with the exception of manon, a proud lesbian but anyway)

-girl cannot sit in a fucking chair properly!! always throwing herself sideways or dangling off of it or slouching in it or something

-spitting jewels out of her mouth? Performing foreplay in a room full of powerful men and borian? gay

-i don’t know about you gals but I always get a ring engraved to give to my personal (straight)friends when I ask them to spend the rest of their life with me…

-when Rowan’s like ‘aw man can’t wait to get back and go to bed with my wife’ and the next line is like ‘aelin and lysandra were lying together, asleep’

-aelin saw the absolute straight man manic pixie nonsense quail and dorito were throwing at her and was like ‘bummer uhhh fuck both of you?’ instead of wasting her life and energy on men who didn’t appreciate her that’s all bi energy babes!

-aelin and manon having a metaphorical dick measuring contest but with swords

-aelin polishing nesryns dagger and dreaming of buying her a new one

-aelin telling kale that nesryn can speak for herself !!! Shut up!!!

- nesryn: mind your own business brullo lmao #nosy as fuck

-aelin, who had a dagger at this woman’s back not even 12 hours earlier:

-Aedion: haha…so aelin only invited nesryn out to have drinks with us because she needed an extra pair of hands because I was injured….what a smart strategic move

-aelin: nesryn you look lonely do you want to come with us ? Tell me about yourself. What’s your family like? How do you get your hair so smooth? Do you want my social security number?

-aelin loved nehemia so much she dumped stale whitebread and got written off as a terrible character by the Discourse Police: Cha0l Division. that’s love.

-attempting to murder the man ur fuckin after he’s involved in the murder of your beloved gay friend? hm. not a straight aura but #prove #me #wrong

-aelin keeps all her nails long except her sword hands so she can keep the aesthetic and weapon functionality but also keep a gay functionality

- in tower of dawn whomst does aelin write to? out of every one of the royal family ? lesbian icon and love of my life Hasar. aelin sensed incredible chaotic gay wlw energy from ACROSS the sea and knew immediately where the real power was. gaydar in action

- aelin has impeccable taste in fashion and upholstery, unrivaled by any other person in tog

-listen I live with 2 straight people and I promise you. The only one who cares enough about proper home decor, mood lighting and pretty things that were very expensive- is the gay one: me

-all the men hate her all the women love her lmao that says it all

- chaotic disaster gay aelin ashryver. Hurricane wlw nightmare woman tearing through these streets

-made a post about it here already but aelins like ‘fuck I can’t like manon but her fucking sword is so cool jesus christ’ that’s gay

- when aelin finds out manon graciously allowed snorian to have sex with her: I do NOT approve but go ahead ruin ya life lol

-when aelin finds out manon left elide alone in oakweld: what the FUCK did you do to that precious beautiful angel were it not for the laws of this land-

-MANON ‘LESBIAN’ BLACKBEAK herself says aelin radiates a gay aura she’s disappointed when she meets her in eos because all the batshit chaotic neutral gay has been depleted from her due to over exposure to straight men

-manons entire arc re: aelin in eos was ‘i should rip her throat out but i get where this stupid gay is coming from so’

-aelin giving a woman she’s just met the necklace her abuser gave her on her 16th? power move. gay power move.

- i love her so much but she’s. so goddamn stupid. and that’s such a mood

- Getting My Whole Ass Out To Prove Were Platonic Friends …that’s a level of denial I can’t even cover

-don’t know if I said it earlier but when aelin asks Lys to join her and lys says oh are you proposing, aelin..doesn’t say no lmao she’s just like ‘tragically I find myself with a life partner’

-lysandra sleeping on aelins lap while aelin downs 2 bottles of wine and flirts with ansel, while all the men look on annoyed that aelin did all of their jobs for them- gay imagery

- listen if ansel ‘murdered my boyfriend of 5yrs saving the girl I knew for a month’ briarcliff approves of you then…you’re gay. you just are.

-aelin ’ill murder you if so much as make EYE CONTACT with any of my women’ ashryver

- I said it already but. There is no better way to indicate that you are living life as our lady sappho intended than having a plethora of boring straight men hate you.

-That’s one of the things you need to have before they let you be gay

-aelins the only character who’s like- you know what I’m missing from my life? Women. I should go out and meet more of those

-killing the man who murdered your beloved friend in the exact same way he tortured her killing the man who set it up and basking in his blood am I right ladies

-aelin acknowledging she’s pretty because she works at it ? Maybe the only ya fantasy character who cannonically exfoliates, moisturizes, and uses toner and serum??? And you except me to sit here and assume she’s straight ???? In this economy ?????

-and yeah I’m absolutely 100% projecting because i love her. maybe blonde emotional chaotic bisexual fashion icons should look after each other now and then.

what do I know i clearly missed the gay memo where we all hate her now or something lmaooo anyway

[elizaviento]

How about this: Rick goes to the same bar every Friday night and tries to pick up chicks. While he sits at the bar, defeated and disheartened, he notices a girl. He watches as she turns down very single man that tries to get her attention. This goes on for weeks, every Friday night. Rick wonders if she ever notices him since they’re there at the same time.... (cont. to next ask)

I’m sorry that this little drabble isn’t exactly what you asked for. However, Rick is adamant that he was a complete gentleman that night and I’m pretty sure he wants to see you next Friday.

Friday Night, 10:00 PM

(Rick Sanchez x Reader)

SFW– 1500 words.  Alcohol consumption, intoxication and suggestive language.

*****

Why do I keep coming to this stupid bar? And, why do I ask myself this same question every week? Friday night – 10:00 pm. The same crowd of losers. Only this time, I realize that – without a shadow of a doubt – I’m one of them. I keep telling myself that this week, I’ll say yes to someone. This week, I’ll drop my guard and damn the consequences. This week, I’ll finally have some fun. But, this week always turns in to next week. And so on, and so on.

At first, most of them showed an interest. But, as time wore on, they learned that the girl sitting at the end of the bar every Friday night was a tease. She took their drinks and even flirted a little, but then she’d shut them down. Now, she had no suitors to speak of and sat on her perch alone. In fact, the only face in the bar that hadn’t made a move over the seemingly endless string of weeks was the older gentleman in a lab coat who always took the corner booth with a pitcher and one glass.

I chance a glance in the direction of that corner booth and, sure enough, there he sits. Only this time, there are several empty shot glasses to accompany his pitcher and he has a hard scowl on his face as if someone has just asked for his car keys. Since he seems completely zoned out, I let my eyes linger on the man. He’s unlike any other person in this bar and I suddenly feel the need to talk to him. The tightness in my chest and the twitchy feeling in my legs persists until I’m just about to hop off the stool and make a fool of myself. Then, he looks at me.

Immediately, our eyes lock and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. His eyes have an intense quality that I can’t seem to place and he continues to bore his gaze into mine until I feel like my heart may pound through my ribs. When he stands from the booth – swaying a little – and begins to stumble toward me, I finally have the mental capacity to look away and stare down at my hands awkwardly. Out of my peripheral vision, I see him steadily approaching – successfully plowing through the hordes of clustered bodies in his beeline toward my self imposed pedestal. When he’s close enough to place his hand on the bar right next to me, I turn my head in the opposite direction in an attempt to play coy, as if it’s worked a million times before.

“Hey – heyy there, baby,” the man says in the most lecherous voice I could have ever imagined. I can feel the warm puffs of his breath washing over the skin of my bare shoulder and I begin to wonder if I finally have the courage. “Don’t act – pretend you weren’t just – j-just checkin’ me out,” he says, trailing his long, slender fingers from wrist to elbow of the arm I have resting on the bar. I give him a cursory glance, but say nothing.

“I-I-I see you in here every Friday and this – tonight’s the first time you – uh – you’ve noticed me.” His words are slightly slurred but that’s to be expected considering the collection of shot glasses gracing his table.

“That’s not true,” I reply, finally looking at him fully. His eyes are bloodshot and there’s a thin line of drool running from the corner of his mouth to his chin. He’s much drunker than I had previously guessed and I need to do some catching up. Motioning toward the bartender, I ask the man, “What are you drinking?”

“Vodka,” he replies, trailing his fingers up my forearm once more.

“Four shots of vodka for me and two for him,” I order, when the bartender finally comes our way.

“Whoa, baby,” he leans in to whisper in my ear. “You – you’re a wild one, huh?”

“Let’s hope so,” I quip, gulping all four shots within the span of fifteen seconds.

———-

I wake up in a place I don’t recognize – a tiny room that’s completely dark save for a small table lamp in the far upper right corner and as my eyes adjust, something shifts next to me. Startled, I flinch away and pull the sheet up to my chest. After several seconds, I’m able to determine that I’m nude, in a very small bed with a stranger. And, I have no memory of what had obviously transpired. Again, the stranger shifts next to me and I pull my legs up to my chest. I can’t seem to spot my clothing in the dimly lit room and I begin to panic.

“Wha – what the fuck?” a gravelly voice croaks as the body shifts again, rolling in my direction. As soon as I see the face, the memory of this man in the bar slams home and I feel a roll of nausea in my gut.

“Oh, shit. That’s right,” the man says, scrubbing a large hand down his face before abruptly getting up from the bed that more so resembles a cot. He seems to be completely clothed minus the signature lab coat I’d seen him in week after week and I pinch my brow in confusion.

“Um –” I begin, but he cuts me off.

“Don’t worry, babe. No – nothing happened. You were so fuckin’ shit faced when we left the bar, you passed – blacked out before I – uh – I could get your panties off.” He pulls a chair out from under a small table and picks up a bundle of clothing, tossing it in my direction as I lift the sheet to confirm his story. Yep, panties still on.

“I-I-I’ll be back in a few minutes” he says, casually strolling through the door of the tiny room before shutting it securely behind him.

Now alone, I practically jump from the cot and hastily redress. Taking stock of my body, I notice that I have no new bruises, love bites, or hickeys and my pussy feels just as normal as ever – no next day, freshly fucked, delicious ache to speak of. On one hand, this is a relief. On the other, it’s a fucking bummer. My entire intent was to fuck this mystery man until I shattered one of his hips – which is entirely plausible considering his obvious advanced age. But, he had been a gentleman and stopped when he realized I had morphed into an empty shell. And, now I honestly didn’t know how to feel other than completely humiliated and a little disappointed.

Ripping me from my inner world, the man re-enters the room and hands me a glass of water and what I assume are two aspirin. His observation that I’m hungover couldn’t be more correct and I gulp down the water and pills while willing the dreadful pounding in my head to cease. Once I finish, he takes the glass from my hand, sits it on the nearby table and gestures for me to follow. Not knowing what to expect, I keep close on his heels as he takes me past a living room where several people are sitting, watching television. Of course, they all turn just in time to witness my walk of shame and I silently wish to dissolve into thin air as we pass through to a kitchen that leads to a garage.

“What the hell is that?” I ask, pointing to the pile of junk that vaguely resembles a UFO.

“It – it’s my flying vehicle, baby. Hop in.”

I scoff at him and shake my head. Flying vehicle? Does he think I’m a moron? When I refuse to make a move, he starts pushing me towards it and opens one of the doors. I shoot him another wary look but climb inside, nonetheless, now fascinated. And, when he climbs in the opposite side, starts the contraption up and literally begins flying into the fucking air, I scream and clutch the dashboard in front of me.

“Jesus Christ!” he shouts through booming laughter. “You – you seriously don’t remember riding in this on the way here?”

“NO!” I shout, looking toward him as he continues to laugh so hard there are tears forming in his eyes.

“Shit – ah fuck – y-you’re cute when you panic,” he says, scrubbing at his eyes with one hand while the other clutches the steering wheel.

“Where you taking me?” I’m finally regaining control of myself and need to try to save face in front of this mystery man who is much more mysterious than I initially gave him credit for.

“Do you – uh – do you even remember my name?” he counters, narrowing his eyes in my direction. I just blush and groan in response and he laughs again. “It’s Rick. And – and – and I figure I owe you breakfast after – for all the shots you bought last night.”

The End.

[dunamanticarchivist]

Critical Role Latest of the Lateblogs C2E31 Commerce and Chaos

Well I think this is the longest I’ve held off watching CR 2 since binge-ing the first 13 episodes in a marathon procrastination for roughly 3 days. Which might be a good thing, that I’m giving sufficient priority to things around me. But not being able to browse twitter and tumblr cos spoilers has been rather killer. Now, for a relaxing shopping episode of... critical role. Also that title is amazing

Only 3 and half hours boo hoo

Or did they take out the break in replays?

Oh boi a Sam Riegel southern special

A true blue ‘murican musical masterpiece

ENCORE ENCORE

Oh thank god I thought they took out the audio for the cheesy intro

That wouldn’t be the same any more would it

RIP Sam Riegel, but RIP Matt Mercer first

Dafuq Nott is now inventing flechette rounds in fantasy settings

Holy shit thats gonna be dangerous - one potentially explosive arrow

Im surprised Travis isnt asleep yet

Okokokokokok there are shenanigans afoot with letter forgery

(Ok i got spoiled a bit for this bit, but still)

Liam’s face palm is mood

FROM THE TOWN OF NIGERIA

Jesus there will be a million repercussions spilling out of this and plot ends for Matt to refine into knives to murderinate them with

Oh no this will not end well. At all. RIP erbady’s heart

Diamonds, fucking diamonds 

Ah there is Travis’ eyeroll. RIP him

LETS GO TO PUMAT’S (i saw a pumatprime logo that looks like amazon prime it was awesome sry i forgot who to credit it to on twitter)

Dese kids MOAR PUMATS 

Bath time again?

GIMME THEM BRACERS 

Thats really helpful Jester you should never bargain

A mighty girth....hmm not the group name you are looking for

Interesting spell selections. Feather fall, expeditious retreat, catapult. All 1st levels and uses reaction, bonus action and action. Very versatile

“This longsword”. Travis instantly becomes interested in shopping again. BAD FJORD BAD PUT DOWN THAT LONGSWORD. NO DONT EAT IT AGAIN BAD

The sword that was broken, potential plot point

Dust of deliciousness wtf that sounds absolutely baller

Cleaning out the pumats

ALL THE FUNKY ENCHANTMENTS someone please make the thinking meme for pumat 

The dancing sounds like a Otto’s Irresistable Dance a lvl 6 spell enchantment.

8000 gold for that. Interesting.

As an economics student, I am incredibly fascinated by the price systems that exist in Exandria (so 400 gold for +1 weapon)

Lotta pigeons hooting in here

Tfw when your hobo wiz is charming af

Only 100 gold off, its something but thats less than 5% off the bill (total should come up to 2400 golds ish)

Paper and ink in the same box, I too like to live dangerously

Marisha’s grabby hands for the bracers *squeeee

Matt, you have no idea how heavy paper can get

“May I go to the library” jesus that brings me back to childhood I loved my school library

MOAR SHOPPING RIP TRAVIS ROUND 2

We now have an official cook and potion maker on the road, its gonna be lit

Suvo’s Secrets ooo what a name. 20 ft by 20 ft. The first thing that comes to mind is how a Fireball would put the place to flame. I need help

Holy fuck thats a big dragonborn

Im calling it thats a hoarding hag of a dragonborn

FROM YOUR MOTHERS CHEST really Matt you forget the Ruby of the Sea was a prostitute for one second. Just one second. Meme mode ON

1 gold for fucking garlic they have no fucking sense for money 

They should have just brought Nott along and stole the whole bag

Jester please once again, never negotiate for prices.

Also if Matt was in the mind to fuck with them, they could literally be paying for the privilege of being cursed

Fjord bailing, shopping must have been super depressing

SABIEN??? SABIEN???? GIVE ME PLOT GIVE ME BACKSTORY

Bummer to have a week of failed investigation

ONLY CAT FRUMPKIN

Zenoth still being creepy af

Jebaited monk training Day 1: Time to fucking read

Roleplaying lvl 6 subclass features pretty good

Lotta bows there

Correction Laura: everyone be a Cobalt Soul monk

“I dont get to kill those guys?” aww man

Info dump lads this is a wiki filling episode erbady take notes

The Chained Oblivion? With all the manacles I think that’s shaping up to be BBEG of this campaign

STILL NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO USE THE WORD PENETRATE

Magical experimental in Solstryce? This is not a particularly helpful turn of events

I wonder does the eye serve as a spellcasting focus

THEY SPLIT THE PARTY DOWNTIME MOST DANGEROUS TIME

Lots of charming ASMR voices with the Gentlemen and Fjord

oh shite its cree another WHERE’S MOLLY???

Ya he ded

Eyyy here we go (i got somewhat spoiled for this defacing of temples)

The ‘healers’ got a cloak for Nott the bravest rouge. Yes. But this is entirely wholesome and soul saving

Clearly the cast isnt all the religious or that serious about it

The platinum dragon is now.... a farmer. Very agricultural

-3 to deception at disadvantage. Still a 13. Absolutely golden

This is heresy and we are all going to hell

I HAD JUST HIRED HER goddamn they are horrendous at this skulduggery 

OH SHIIIIT 5 CROWNSGUARDS one of whom appears to be a spellcaster

fuck some kind of forcecage? Ottiluke’s Resilient Sphere does damage?

ALL SHALL FALL TO THE CHARM OF JESTER LAVORRE

RUN YOU IDIOTS RUN

Jesus christ I didnt know I could get anxiety from watching a getaway scene

Good lord Jester virtually blew through her entire long rest of options in one night of revelry

Oh god here cometh the heartbreak

Thats alot of vague speak in the manner of gods

Dafuq the god is real? He can touch the dodecahedron? This sounds like a great amount of fuckery

Holy shit the time indeed passed I forgot there needs to be a break

NO REST WE GO ON LIKE CRITTERS

Taliesin is playing his INT 9 well

Lets go vacationing in the Bahamas/Nicodranas/Menagerie Coast

PLEASE CAST PLEASE LESS PEE AND POOP JOKES IM TRYING TO SNACK

Yes that is exactly how Jester would cast sending someone once wrote fanfic like that. It is obviously now canon

REVENGE FOR NOTT THE BRAVE KILL ALL THE GOBOS

Paper = power

ITS MORE THAN THAT AAAAAA ITS SO WHOLESOME

Everybody gets a dead people tea healing potion

Aaaand we’re back to the beginning

A delicious transitory episode, and hmmm a one-shot 2 weeks from now? Fascinating. 

[motherfuckinglosersclub]

Chapter One: Boys’ Club

Warnings: None

Word count: 1,700+

Dudes being dudes, taking shit and hanging out

It was the afternoon before the first day of junior year. In an effort to escape the dreadful summer heat of Derry, the boys were lounging in Bill’s house with the A/C cranked up.

“So Billy Boy, how’s life for ya?” Richie asked, leaning back into the old couch. Stains dotted its fabric from unknown substances and years of regrets.

“Puh-Pretty good,” Bill said, trying to shake off the laid back and cozy atmosphere surrounding him. He was currently sandwiched between his two boyfriends trying his best not to fall asleep but quickly losing the battle. “How are you, R-Richie?”

“His name is trashmouth, not Richie.” Stan said, not taking his eyes off his phone.

“Damn right!” Richie beamed, reaching over to ruffle Stan’s hair.

Stan made a disgusted face and leaned out of Richies reach, this caused him to wake up Eddie in the process.

“WHAT THE FUCK RICH!” Even though Stan woke him up, Eddie tended to blame things like this on Richie because more often than not Richie was at the source. Eddie grabbed a pillow off the couch and chucked it at Richie’s face.

Mike grumbled from beside Bill, “Knock it off, you little kids. The adults are sleeping.”

In an effort to try to break up the fight brewing between Eddie and Richie, Ben scrambled toward his bag and pulled out his school schedule for the year. “Hey guys maybe since we’re all kind of waking up we could compare schedules maybe?”

“Sounds fun to me.” Mike said, also grabbing his schedule.

“Ugh fine.” Richie said, trying to find his own schedule in his backpack, which he had shoved to the bottom as soon as he got it. He hadn’t even bothered to clean it out from sophomore year.

“Hey I’m j-just gonna keep napping,” Bill said burying his face into Stan’s shoulder.

Stan laid his head onto Bills, sighing, “Mikey, will you hand me mine?”

“Sure thing.”

“Aw you guys are too cute.” Richie gushed, resting his chin on his hand.

“That could be you and Eddie but you guys are playin’” Stan said, giving Richie a blank stare.

“Stan, I will cut you,” Eddie deadpanned in efforts to hide how much he was blushing.

Stan just shrugged, not putting up a fight in this conversation.

“C’mon Eds, you know you wanna piece of this.” Richie stood up, wiggling his eyebrows and doing a full turn for the losers to admire.

Mike wolf whistled, playing into Richie's little game. Richie shot finger guns and clicked his tongue at him, all of which caused Ben to laugh his ass off.

Eddie glared at Richie, “In your dreams, trashmouth.”

“Every night babe.” Richie winked, sitting down on the floor by Eddie.

“Anyways, Ben. What do you have first period?” Stan addressed Ben, leaning towards the boy and ignoring the antics of his friends.

“I have trig first, what about you?” Ben offered his schedule to Stan to compare. Richie nodded at Ben, indicating he also had that class for first.

“I have English. Bummer, I don't like Berkeley.” Stan said, slightly frowning and grabbing the paper.

Mike rubbed Stan’s back, to comfort him. “Hey, so do I. At least you won't be alone in that class. Anyone else have English first?”

Eddie pushed Richie off and pulled his schedule out of his pocket, “I’m pretty sure I do,” he checked his schedule, “Yeah, I do, it’ll be pretty fun if we all have it together.”

Stan rubbed his temples, looking stressed out. “This year is going to kick my ass, I can already tell. Ben, it looks like your tutoring is gonna come in handy.” He then handed Ben his schedule back and laid his head back down onto Bill’s.

Ben smiled, “Thanks Stan, but my tutoring isn’t helpful unless the people there really care about school so I’m sure you’ll be fine this year!”

Mike smiled at Ben’s encouragement, “Yeah he's right babe, you're gonna kill this year. Not the other way around. And if you need help, all of us are more than willing to help.”

All the losers, minus Bill who was still napping, nodded in agreement.

“Okay, so who has US Gov. for fifth?” Richie asked, looking around. He did not want that teacher by himself.

“I do,” Mike said, nodding at Richie. “Good thing too, because that Johnson does not like you.”

“I really don’t see why he doesn’t like me. I’m the funniest and smartest kid in that class.” Richie shrugged, shaking his head.

“I'll give you funniest, but I think I earned the title of smartest last year, buddy.” Mike laughed loudly.

“Bullshit!” Richie yelled back, sitting up.

“Beep beep, Richie, you're going to wake up Bill. I don't care who is smarter or who is dumber, we all have our own opinions.” Stan whispered yelled, making a hitting motion at Richie, though his eyes showed amusement.

Richie laid down, pushing his glasses onto the top of his head and rubbing his eyes. Sleep is for the weak he said, he doesn’t need sleep he had said. Now that was biting him in the ass.

“You okay, Rich?” Eddie asked genuinely concerned for Richie’s well-being. He knows that he’s harsh on Richie a lot but he actually does care and right now he can tell that something is wrong.

“I’m fine spaghetti man.” Richie smiled at him. He was practically blind, but could still see Eddie’s frown, which he thought was adorable.

There was a loud knock on the door, it was Georgie Denbrough, Bill’s thirteen year old younger brother. The noise woke up Bill.

Georgie came into the room, “Bill! Mom said your friends have to go soon. It's a school night, Asswipe.”

“J-Jesus Christ Georgie, I was trying to suh-sleep!” Bill said getting up and closing the door leaving Georgie in the hallway.

“Don't shoot the messenger, Mom wanted me to tell you. This is why I'm the favorite!” The young boy screamed, making his way back down stairs and signaling the end of the conversation.

“S-Sorry about Georgie guh-guys, he can be ob-nuh-n-noxious sometimes.” Bill made his way back to the losers.

“Your brother is my son, and I love him.” Richie said, chuckling at his own joke.

“You’re Bill’s dad?” Eddie smirked.

“Nah, Bill’s daddy is either Stan or Mike, but nobody really knows which one.” Richie replied, nudging Ben with his elbow.

Bill blushed, “I’m luh-leaving.”

“Ah yes, Georgie. My favorite Denbrough.” Mike said, looking at Bill, waiting for his reaction to the obvious joke.

Richie laughed at Mike, causing the whole club to laugh at the blushing Billiam.

Stan smiled at his boyfriend's red cheeks and cooed, “Baby, your brother is more loved than you.”

Bill tugged his sleeves down and tried to hide his face in the neck of his flannel to pout, “Well I g-guh-guess you shuh-should just go date Georgie instuh-stead.”

“I never said I loved him more than you. Because that would be a lie. Right, Mike?” Stan said, turning towards Mike.

“I'm not gonna be apart of this.” Mike said laughing.

Ben’s face scrunched up, “I just pictured Stan dating Georgie and I think I’m ready to leave this world.”

“Oh my fucking god no no no no,” Eddie covered his face like that would help.

“Well I would hate to break up this party but I gotta go. Mom will kill me if I’m late. See ya guys.” Richie laughed, standing up and grabbing his backpack. He waved and walked out the door, and the losers could hear him scream goodbye to his son, Georgie.

Eddie gathered his stuff and yelled down the hall, “Wait Rich, I’ll go with you!” He turned back to the others, “Bye guys, good luck with whatever this is,” before running outside to meet Richie.

“That's our cue to leave,” Mike said, offering a hand to Stan, “Need a ride?”

“You know I do, stop bragging about your new car. Ben, do you need a ride home?” Stan asked kindly to the still sitting boy.

“Yeah, that’d be great, if you guys don’t mind of course,” Ben said with a smile.

“No, not at all, buddy.” Mike told his friend. “Just give us a minute to say goodbye to Bill and we'll meet you out there.”

Ben gathered up his stuff, “Sounds good, Mike,” and ran out the door to give the boys some privacy.

Bill glared at his boyfriends, “You suh-sure you don’t wanna go say buh-bye to Georgie?”

“He's not really my type,” Stan deadpanned. “I'm into older boys. And boys that are actually taller than me.”

“And we love you romantically, he's technically our brother in law.” Mike grimaced, slightly laughing.

“Wait we’re getting m-married?” Bill looked up, blushing about ten times harder than before.

“When it's legal, I guess. Not really allowed for three people to get hitched” Stan shrugged, blushing also.

Bill smiled, “Okay so muh-maybe we don’t get married but I f-forgive my amazing b-boyfriends for loving my brother more than me?”

“We love him in a different way,” Mike laughed.

“Yeah, I k-know,” Bill agreed. He gave them each a quick kiss, “Okay you guys m-might really have to leave now t-though.”

They then said their goodbyes and Mike and Stan met Ben at the car.

“Sorry we took long,” Mike said, sliding into the driver's seat. Stan got into the back since his stop was first.

Stan tuned out the other boys conversation and thought about how the next day would go. He wanted it to be calm and relaxing, like any another day of school, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy. His stomach was in knots about it so he rubbed it, trying to get the feeling to go away.

Besides the lingering anxiety, he felt pretty good. The summer went amazingly, besides a few bumps in the road. He had two good boyfriends and lots of great best friends. Overall he felt peaceful. Sitting in the back of  car, listening to him and Ben ramble about a book they were reading. Something about gods and monsters, and some huge quest with a time limit.

Stan tried to refocus and join the conversation, but it was no use. He was to caught up in his own head. Instead he just sat with his back against the door and watch Mike speak passionately with his hands about his favorite character and some symbolism about the characters green eyes. The sight alone relaxed the tumbling, rumbling anxiety and Stan felt better until he laid in bed for the night and spent hours thinking of how the next day could go wrong or perfect.

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

Chicago Med Review 3x17 The Parent Trap

I enjoyed this episode mostly because of the continuity with last one. Also, the synopsis for the next two episodes until the finale is continuous with their personal storylines.

This seems like the most mundane and simplistic critiques, but this show has been known for writing their characters arcs off a cliff and completely forgetting what they built as canon in prior seasons.

So, needless to say I am very happy that we continue from last episode to this one.

Let’s start with Sarah. Poor Sarah. Before I get into this arc I’m just going to say this. I have seen, and not just here in our mostly peaceful Tumblr bubble, but all around on Facebook and Twitter, there has been some rather unfair opinions about Sarah. She’s been drug through the mud more than any other character on Med. And before we start the whataboutisms there is a consistent level of torment for her character that seemed small and developy but now looks loud and regressivey.

Her first year she was bombarded with an overall sense of uncertainty; whether it be with her career, her performance, her self-esteem. Her boyfriend was basically the same as a human wall; I swear he never understood her, she had a nitpicky mother, and then her mentor was shot. She returned collected but not before his shooting stole all the growth her character had. She has been questioned, berated, suspended, humiliated multiple times at work, and crippled by anxiety. Just when we thought she was going to get a break her father shows up to remind her that there is nowhere she belongs not in the ED, not in psych, and not in the heart of the man who fathered her.

I knew he wasn’t going to give us some mushy ending, but this man is truly diabolical which I love cause he is the multifaceted villain this show has needed. He asks for Sarah when he’s first admitted, accuses Dr. Charles of keeping them apart, and then when he has the chance to amend things with her he decides to go full on monster. Taunting and teasing Sarah with the connection he cannot give and will not fake. Rhodes was so happy to play hero he didn’t realize he was saving Sarah’s tormentor. And if you think that this is the last we’ve seen of Bob or have to deal with him than I would say you are a lot more optimistic than I.

For the love of god Med; give this girl a break next season. She deserves to use her knowledge confidently and to have some happiness….and some effing friends.

Speaking of Connor, he handled the news about his former lover potentially becoming a current lover of his father well. I’m sorry guys, I’m petty and messy, and you know I love drama, and I thought I was going to get my payoff! Things were looking like Ava was going to pull an intergenerational Rhodes train but instead Cornelius got all creepy and Ava pulled off the tracks. Bummer. The dark soul burning within me has a messed up headcanon for this, but I won’t share it here cause God’s watching…maybe in a one-shot on A03 if I get bored. Anyway, this whole daddy does the-son’s girl was just so we could finally get Connor to admit that he gets jealous of the idea of Ava with anyone else.

BTW this summer when I’m bored I’m going to make side by side comparisons of all my headcanons/fanfiction come true this season.

April and Noah were back on a case together…a kind of boring case that could’ve been bigger but there were no stakes in it; unless you count the whole Sharon-bypass story which I don’t. I didn’t need them to tell me about the scary board for the umpteenth time. We get it, Sharon’s job is in jeopardy…sadly for drama sake I was half-hoping April, Noah, hell anyone would collapse after the drug spill. But no and they are going to drag the will-they-won’t-they-fire Sharon until the end of the season.

I guess I should talk about Ethan and Emily even though her character has kind of underwhelmed me. I guess I thought Emily Choi would be the kind of girl who always had excuses but without apologies. You know what I mean? They tell you why they do what they do but they are not sorry, and you need to deal with that. But this whole episode makes Ethan look intolerant to anyone who won’t measure up to his rigid standards. I just don’t know where this story is going but if it’s going where I think it is…it better not be.

The most drama was the Manstead fight. *side note can Maggie please stop trying to play matchmaker; this is a fucking hospital and those are adults! They have never been the highlight of anything for me, but Will finally said what I was hoping he would. Stop being a judgmental bitch; and Natalie was like, “Yeah, it’s actually exhausting riding this high-horse.” But then she told him he wasn’t off the hook; so, I don’t know what to expect with these two… Supposedly Natalie gets some “surprising news” perhaps these two could be stuck in a parent trap? Jesus Christ, I hope not, my real hope is that they want to fire Natalie.

[naireides]

do u think Raven (in the shower biz fic),once she saw Clarke stroll towards the shower w Bellamy in it, that she opened up the groupchat: Raven-it's happened!!- Raven-i'm @ bellamy n clarkes apt & theyre literally showering together!!!!!!!111!!!!!- Raven-who bet on 4 months- Jasper-IUFESJDKXNOUJFKXVCIHOFDLB- Jasper-FINALLY- Miller-yea that was me pay up *sunglasses emoji*-

this?? turned?? into?? a fic?? wow okay

wc: 2 458part 1 | read on ao3

Saturday, 8: 53 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: i don’t mean to alarm anybody but i think bellamy and clarke are datingRaven: or at least having sex

Harper: [click to view image]

Murphy: you can’t say that and then not expect us to be alarmed reyesMurphy: some of us have money riding on this shit

Monty: pics or it didn’t happen

Jasper: FWEJFCERGBUJJFJEFSJasper: [click to view image]

Miller: Jasper if you don’t stop fucking screaming i’m coming over there and choking you

Jasper: ooh kinky ;) ;)

Monty: excuse you, i’m the only one allowed to flirt with miller here

Raven: yeah jasper, keep your kinks to yourselfRaven: this is me kinkshaming youRaven: ARE YOU KINKSHAMED

Jasper: jokes on you kinkshaming is my kink

Monty: how much kink could a kinkshame shame if a kinkshame could shame kink

Miller: i will murder all of you is2g

Raven: we already have one psychopath in this groupchat miller we don’t need another one

Murphy: fuck you reyes

Harper: she didn’t say it was you murphyHarper: … but we all know it’s you

Miller: could you fucks keep it down some of us are trying to sleepMiller: also i bet on them lasting four months living together pay up

Raven: um we don’t know how long they’ve been together

Miller: you’re just bitter that you lost

Monty: she has a point tho

Miller: wtf you’re supposed to be on MY SIDE

Monty: i’m on the side of justiceMonty: …… and also because i bet that they would have gotten together in september

Murphy: you put way too much trust in blake tbh

Jasper: what exactly happened raven? did you walk in on bellamy scrambling clarke’s eggs ;) ;)

Monty: dude no one even knows what that means

Harper: and no one wants to know either

Raven: clarke and i were supposed to go shopping todayRaven: and she oversleptRaven: so she let me in to wait while she got readyRaven: and then bellamy walks in from his run because he’s a gross fitness junkie

Murphy: you’re a gross fitness junkie too

Raven: quiet jonathanRaven: so here i am at bellamy and clarke’s apartment and she literally followed him into the showerRaven: !!!!!

Monty: OMG

Jasper: he could be scrambling her eggs in the shower

Murphy: i gotta give blake some credit, that didn’t take as long as i thought he would

Miller: you bet that they’d get together in june. 2023Miller: THAT’S IN SIX YEARS

Murphy: yeah because blake would rather make moon eyes across the couch at her than make a moveMurphy: he’s a pussy

Harper: hEY

Raven: WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH

Miller: SIX YEARS

Monty: STOP THE YELLING

Jasper: STOP THE MADNESS

Harper: so we don’t really know for sure how long they’ve been a thing

Raven: nopeRaven: but i’ll ask clarke about it laterRaven: miller, murphy, one of you ask bellamy

Murphy: no thanks

Miller: i rather not

Raven: … Raven: pussies.

Murphy: OH so she can say it but i can’t

Raven: shut up murphy

-

Saturday, 10: 04 a.m.Bellamy Blake

Miller: soMiller: how’s clarke doin?

Bellamy: ??Bellamy: uh fine?Bellamy: she’s out with raven rn

Miller: anything… special planned for later?

Bellamy: noBellamy: why

Miller: you knowMiller: it’s saturdayMiller: good date night

Bellamy: rightBellamy: shouldn’t you be telling monty this

Miller: you’re impossible

Bellamy: how am i impossible? You’re the one making no sense!

Miller: so you’re not doing anything tonight. or doing clarke tonight.Miller: … Miller: i meant doing anything *WITH clarke tonight fucking autocorrect

Bellamy: i mean we might watch a movie or something but i don’t think soBellamy: monty ditch you for his nerd friends tonight so you wanna cry on my shoulder huh

Miller: fuck you blake

-

Saturday, 10: 28 a.m.Bellamy Blake

Murphy: u fucking clarke yet

Bellamy: what the fuck NO

Murphy: bummerMurphy: u should get on that thoMurphy: or under thatMurphy: or behind that

Bellamy: i will BLOCK you

-

Saturday, 10: 47 a.m.Clarke Griffin

Clarke: raven is acting super weird

Bellamy: raven is always weird

Clarke: well yeahClarke: but weirder than normalClarke: you know what i mean

Bellamy: no yeah i get youBellamy: miller and murphy are weird too

Clarke: come on MURPHY is always weirdClarke: like i wouldn’t be surprised if he sells organs on the black market or something

Bellamy: he’s a chef princess

Clarke: EXACTLYClarke: that means he knows where to stab you

Bellamy: goodbye clarke

Clarke: yeah yeah go back to jacking off to npr sorry i disturbed you

Bellamy: fuck you griffin

Clarke: maybe later honey i’m not in the mood for phone sex

Bellamy: GOODBYE CLARKE

-

Saturday, 11: 38 a.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: OH MY GODRaven: i hate themRaven: bellamy and clarke are IDIOTS

Monty: ??????????

Harper: what happened

Miller: i don’t think they’re dating

Murphy: i asked and he said they’re definitely not fucking

Jasper: BUT THEY SHOWERED TOGETHER RAVEN SAW IT HAPPEN

Raven: THEY DO SHOWER TOGETHER IT’S RIDICULOUS I HATE THEM

Monty: raven WHAT HAPPENED

Raven: so i asked clarke about the shower thing that i saw this morningRaven: and like. she doesn’t deny showering with bellamyRaven: actually it seems like they do it pretty fucking oftenRaven: but it’s all PLATONICRaven: P L A T O N I C   S H O W E R   S H A R I N G

Harper: i think raven’s brain just broke

Miller: who the fuck even does that

Monty: bellamy and clarke apparently

Murphy: lmao i told you blake has no gameMurphy: he’s naked in a 6x4 bathroom with the girl he has a crush on- who is ALSO NAKED- and he doesn’t do anything about itMurphy: i’m still amazed that he used to have threesomes in college

Jasper: bellamy used to have threesomes in college???Jasper: our bellamy??Jasper: HE ALMOST CRASHED INTO A STOP SIGN BECAUSE CLARKE SMILED AT HIM THAT ONE TIME

Harper: jesus fucking christ they’re disasters

Raven: jasper, come over at my place later they only way i can deal with this is with weed

Jasper: ayyyyy i like how you thinkin

-

Saturday, 10: 52 p.m.Bellamy Blake

Clarke: i still maintain that showering together can be totally platonic

Bellamy: what we just did certainly was not platonic

Clarke: yeah but we didn’t actually fuck in the showerClarke: so it’s still platonicClarke: i’m not fucking you in the shower btw

Bellamy: is this out of sheer spite to keep it platonic

Clarke: no it’s because i work in a hospital and i’ve seen more than my fair share of broken dicks because of shower sex

Bellamy: you work in a CLINIC

Clarke: still seen broken dicks thoClarke: i don’t want you to break your dickClarke: i like your dickClarke: and the rest of youClarke: you’re great bell

Bellamy: that was weirdly sweetBellamy: i like you tooBellamy: it’s kind of why we’re in a relationship

Clarke: we’ve only been in this relationship for like 4 hoursClarke: and you didn’t even ASK me to be your girlfriendClarke: you just fucked me like i was some two bit hussy

Bellamy: princess will you go out with me

Clarke: good boy you learn quick

Bellamy: that’s not an answer it’s a yes or no question clarke

Clarke: yes

Bellamy: good. now put down your phone and go to sleep

Clarke: orrrrr we could have phone sex ;) ;)

Bellamy: clarke you are literally right down the hall from me

Clarke: heyClarke: hey bellClarke: i’m not wearing any panties

Bellamy: jesusBellamy: you do realise i asked you to stay in my bed with me and you said no right?

Clarke: yeah because my bed is comfortableClarke: altho i bet it would be more comfortable with you in it ;) ;) ;)

Bellamy: you are a frat boy in the body of a 27 year old woman

Clarke: you’re one to talk i just heard your door open

Bellamy: … semantics

Clarke: i lured you into my bed with my feminine wiles didn’t i?Clarke: i really am a two bit hussy

Bellamy: yeah yeah i’m coming

Clarke: you’re not the only one who’s gonna be coming ;) ;)

-

Monday, 9: 14 a.m.Princess

Clarke: sorry to text you at work but do you think we could keep this quiet for a little while?Clarke: i forgot to ask yesterday because SOMEONE spent the whole day eating me out

Bellamy: it wasn’t the whole dayBellamy: more like 4 hoursBellamy: and yeah, of course princess

Clarke: good, thanks bell Clarke: i just can’t handle seeing her smug little face

Bellamy: yeah i get itBellamy: same with me and miller. and murphy too tbh

Clarke: so it’s a secret?

Bellamy: i guess so

Clarke: coolClarke: that’s kinda hotClarke: *moon face emoji*

Bellamy: I’M AT SCHOOL CLARKE I’M NOT GONNA SEXT YOU AT SCHOOL

Clarke: fine be boring

Bellamy: i’ll make it up to you later ;)

-

Friday, 6: 13 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Miller: god i can’t believe they’re still not togetherMiller: i went to pick up blake for a boys night and caught them taking ANOTHER shower togetherMiller: SCHOOL’S CLOSED FOR WINTER BREAK WHY DO THEY KEEP DOING THIS

Jasper: we really should stage an interventionJasper: monty is good at powerpoint presentations

Monty: i am good at powerpoint presentations yes

Raven: ‘10 reasons why platonic shower sharing ISN’T A THING’

Harper: nah i think that’s too long for a title

Murphy: ‘Get Married Already’

Monty: concise, but a little too on the nose

Miller: ugh he’s changed his contact name for her to ‘princess’ with a heart emoji i’m gonna throw up

Harper: ‘oh bellamy? he’s just a friend. such a good friend.’

Jasper: cLaRkE aNd I aRe pLaToNiCJasper: [click to view image]

Raven: i really really hate them

-

Friday, 6: 14 p.m.Bell

Bellamy: come on this isn’t fair princessBellamy: i just left the house

Clarke: and??

Bellamy: give a guy some warningBellamy: miller almost saw that picture you sent meBellamy: no nudes out of the blue like that

Clarke: you really are an 80 year old man aren’t you

Bellamy: you weren’t saying that last night

Clarke: touche

-

Tuesday, 7: 19 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Harper: should i go all out with the mistletoeHarper: maybe we could trap them underneath it

Raven: lbr, bellamy and clarke would call it ‘platonic kissing’

Harper: oh shit u rite

Monty: ‘only real friends shove their tongues into each other’s mouths’

Miller: i say go for it if it can work in the rom coms then it can work hereMiller: these two are probably almost as ridiculous as a rom comMiller: maybe even more

Jasper: you watch rom coms miller?

Miller: … new phone who dis

-

Wednesday, 4: 32 p.m.Bellamy Blake

Raven: tell your wife that she’s on cookie decorating duty for christmas dinnerRaven: we meet at harper’s on sunday to begin

Bellamy: cute reyesBellamy: and you know that CLARKE has her own phone right

Raven: yeah, but i’m willing to bet real money that she’s sitting right next to you

Bellamy: no comment

Raven: yeah that’s what i thoughtRaven: i guess because you two are joined at the hip that means you have to shower together huh

Bellamy: for the love of god IT SAVES TIME

Raven: YOU 2 ARE WEIRDOS

-

Sunday, 9: 12 p.m.Clarke Griffin

Raven: hey i think you left your scarf in my carRaven: i’m only like a block away i’ll come back and drop it offRaven: it has frosting on it i’m not keeping this shitRaven: be there in like 10

-

Sunday, 9: 21 p.m.Mom and Dad aren’t home

Raven: OH YM GODRaven: YOU G UYSRaven: FCUK YOU;LL NEVR GUESS WAHT HAPPEND

Murphy: you turned off auto correct?

Raven: i’m going to ignore thatRaven: because CLARKE AND BELLAMY ARE FUCKINGRaven: FOR REAL THIS TIMERaven: IN THE FCKIGN SHOWER AGAIN

Jasper: what

Monty: are you sure??

Harper: how do you know

Miller: jfc

Jasper: WHAT

Raven: i dropped clarke home a little while ago and made it like a block before i realised that she left her scarf in my carRaven: so i went back to the apartment and it was empty BUT I COULD HEAR THEMRaven: MY POOR EARS

Murphy: didn’t you fuck blake a few years ago

Raven: yeah but that was before we were FRIENDSRaven: I DON’T NEED TO HEAR CLARKE BEGGING FOR BELLAMY TO GIVE IT TO HER HARDER

Jasper: IS THIS THE REAL LIFE

Monty: OR IS THIS JUST FANTASY

Raven: or trust me, it’s real and i’m SCARRED FOR LIFE

Harper: you mean they hid their relationship from us??

Miller: either that or they both have a huge shower kink

Harper: why would they hide their relationship from us??

Raven: idk BUT I’M GONNA YELL AT THEMRaven: … right after i figure out how to unhear things

-

Sunday, 9: 33 p.mRaven Reyes created a new groupchat: BETRAYAL

Raven added Bellamy Blake to the chat

Raven added Clarke Griffin to the chat

Raven: DECEPTIONRaven: DISGRACERaven: AN OUTRAGE! FOR SHAME!

Clarke: surprise?

Raven: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HID THIS FROM USRaven: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

Bellamy: i mean, i don’t really like you that much

Raven: shove it blake

Clarke: we just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while

Raven: and how long is a little while hmm

Bellamy: roughly 2 months give or take

Raven: i can’t believe itRaven: TWO MONTHSRaven: you 2 ruined christmas i hope you’re happyRaven: you are UNINVITED from tomorrow’s festivities

Raven Reyes has left the chat

Bellamy: godBellamy: are all of our friends this ridiculous?

Clarke: i’m 90% sure they had bets about usClarke: so yes

Bellamy: whatever who needs friends on christmasBellamy: we have cold turkey in the fridge and some potatoes we’re good to go

Clarke: and me of course

Bellamy: you?Bellamy: oh lemme guess, for dessert

Clarke: actually no i meant you have me, your girlfriend, so you don’t need anyone elseClarke: but i like yours betterClarke: *moon face emoji*

Bellamy: of course you do

Clarke: you love it

Bellamy: i love YOU

Clarke: Clarke: i love you too bell