#but like?? we have also lived through mcr breaking up coming back dropping a single out of nowhere doing a world tour

[theheadlesshat]

why is everyone doomposting holy shit guys

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[emilyblame]

so, i talked about album openers, and if you have me, i’d love to talk album closers now. because, there’s nothing better than a album closer that makes you feel like you absolutely have to press repeat. here’s my favorite 10 in alphabetical order by band.

THE END. - AS IT IS / THE GREAT DEPRESSION.

what a good way to start this list, and what a perfect ending to this album. The Great Depression in its whole is incredible-- dare i say a masterpiece-- but this song stands out to me because it manages to be angry and defeated and almost uncomfortable. i mean, that bridge? come on! i can’t wait to listen to new music from As It Is, such a talented group of people i’ll miss Ben and Foley tho :(

GOODBYE - BILLIE EILISH / WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP WHERE DO WE GO?

what can i say? i’m a sucker for a good reprise. one of my favorite things about this album is that it’s a very cohesive piece of artwork even though all the tracks seemed to be stand-alone singles. this last track is the perfect example of that as it is the sum up of the greatest hits of each song. i just love it. i think it’s a pretty clever way to finish an album.

THE LITTLE THINGS GIVE YOU AWAY - LINKIN PARK / MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT

i mean, this song ends so epically, please. and i only put this one because it’s my favorite one, but “Powerless” and “Sharp Edges” are also strong album closers. i mean, i still can’t listen to “Sharp Edges” without breaking down in tears. i miss you, Chester :(

PLAY THIS WHEN I’M GONE - MACHINE GUN KELLY / TICKETS TO MY DOWNFALL

ah, this fucking song. he went and wrote a suicide letter to his kid. i mean, are you trying to break my heart into a million little pieces or you just happened to do it by chance? this song is so brutally honest, if you’re not in tears by the end of it, are you even capable of crying anymore?

FAMOUS LAST WORDS - MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE / THE BLACK PARADE

i mean, no shit, right? this is one of my ultimate most favorite MCR songs. i still get goosebumps whenever i listen to it (it’s been 15 years for fucks sake). hell, i cried my eyes out when i listened to it live. i just love this band so damn much.

THE BETRAYAL (ACT I) - NICKELBACK / FEED THE MACHINE

say whatever you fucking want about Nickelback, but it’s a good band. and this song is so fucking good. Ryan Peake, i fucking love you. Incredible guitar player.

DYING IN L.A. - PANIC! AT THE DISCO / PRAY FOR THE WICKED

so, to be honest this is one of my favorite things Brendon’s ever written. the pauses, the belting, the melody, the fact that’s just piano and strings-- ugh! i can’t even... still, much like Linkin Park, let us not forget about “Build God, Then We’ll Talk” and “Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met)”, because those two are incredible album closers. fuck, i miss Ryan Ross, just take him back, Brendon!

UNDERWARE - SUGARCULT / START STATIC

ok, technically a hidden track BUT it’s still the song that closes the album. and if you don’t like it then we can totally talk about “I Changed My Name” because it’s my favorite fucking song in the whole world, so-- 

TWENTY ØNE PILØTS

bare with me here, because all-- and i mean every single fucking one of them-- of  twenty øne piløts’ album closers are fire. quiet fire, but fire nonetheless. from “Isle Of Flightless Birds” to “Leave The City”, look me in the eye and tell me none of them have you in tears by the end. i love how Tyler excels at ending an album on a bittersweet and sad yet hopeful tone consistently. ahh, i love this band so fucking much, so much talent.

I FELT YOUNGER WHEN WE MET - WATERPARKS / FANDOM

and we’re back at closing the post with a Waterparks song. and from the same album, no less! such a strong song to end Fandom with, for fucks sake! the abrupt ending, the looping back to “Cherry Red”... boi, yas. love it. i think the fact that this song loops back to the very beginning of the album is one of the most clever things Awsten has ever done (yet).

HONORABLE MENTIONS!

“Men Are All The Same” by The Used from their album Artwork. speaking of reprises... aahh... so good. this album is so fucking flawless through and through, man... i love the whole thing so much. i feel like The Used is such a huge band but we still not talk about them enough.

“exist” by Bleak Soul (aka: Ben Langford-Biss, ex-As It Is) from album existential meditation. is it an EP? technically? idk, no one cares. speaking of me crying to a song. my favorite thing about this song being the closing track is that at first listen it seems to be very happy and makes you think, ‘oh, great! so the album isn’t that depressing after all!’ and then you pay attention to the lyrics and you realize it’s probably the most depressing song on the album, EP, whatever. i fucking love it.

speaking of EPs... “Burned Out” by dodie, Human EP. listen, i’m serious about this girl. she’s so fucking talented. she deserves more attention!!! ugh, can’t wait for her debut album to drop in March. but back to the song, it’s the perfect contrast to “Arms Unfolding”, that starts all hopeful and bright; “Burned Out” ends out on a very sour note. but the lyrics are something that needed to be said, not only for dodie’s own personal story but also to portray a view from the artist’s perspective of what meet&greets and just what being a public figure in general feels like.

“Starting Over” by Evan Taubenfeld from unreleased album Just Sign Here... i mean. this man just gets me, but aside from that. stunning album closer.

“Born For This”, Paramore, Riot! talk about getting hyped by the end of an album, amirite? love that they used to open shows with this track. and speaking of Paramore: “Tell Me How“ from After Laughter. again, perfect contrast to the beginning of the album. love that.

and last but not least... “How Did I Fall In Love With You?” by Backstreet Boys from album Black & Blue. Howie D. belting, need i say more? didn’t think so. but given i’m here... the harmonies, the fact that it’s just piano and strings (my weakness in case you haven’t noticed). also, the song is about falling in love with your best friend and i’m a fucking sucker for a good love story.

[unravelmysoul]

Plot Twist At Hot Topic // Snk modern au

Word count:  1544 words

Rated: PG

Pairing: Just read

Story type: One shot

***

It was a rather hot day. All the employees of that Mcdonalds were desperately trying to hide the sweat stains of their shirts and keep smiles on their faces as they talked to moody costumers. Eren sighed as he finished the cleaning duty and looked at his friend Sasha, who was supposed to be helping him clean. She was staring out of the window, a blush spread across her cheeks and she would let out a soft sigh every now and then. He waved his hand in front of her eyes and when she didn't respond he grabbed her shoulders and shook her a bit.

       "Oi Sasha..." She snapped out of her daydream and looked at him surprised. "What has been up with you lately?" He asked her.

       "O-oh it's nothing, really." She answered shyly as she went behind the counter taking over for a coworker allowing her to go on a deserved break. Eren took the place next to her.

       "You think I haven't noticed?" He said with a smirk. "You've been daydreaming for weeks... Who is he?" She gasped at Eren's perceptiveness.

       "Oi brat, enough with the talking. Don't fuck up my order like you fucked up my class." He looked at the customer in front of him and his eyes widened at the sigh of Mr Ackerman - their French teacher. He muttered a 'yes sir' as he took Levi's order and didn't dare to utter a single word until he left. Sasha laughed lightly.

       "So are you going to tell me who it is, or not?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows. She shook her head and blushed. "I can't help you if you don't tell me..." She finished with her client and looked at him.

       "Fine." She sighed. She was quiet for a while and Eren grew impatient. "It's just - I don't actually know his name." She admitted. "I was cleaning up some tables and there were some kid throwing fries around and of course I scolded them. The little bastards started throwing them at me and this guy showed up..." She paused and her cheeks got red yet again. "... He scared the kids away and asked me if I was okay!" She explained excitedly. "I swear he was so cute, although he looked a bit intimidating."

        "I think I know the guy your talking about." He looked through the window and saw the boy arriving to his job. "That's Connie Springer." Sasha blushed as she saw the familiar bald headed male. His ear piercings shone in the distance, he was wearing a black MCR shirt, black shorts and black all stars. Eren wondered how the fuck he managed to survive with only blacks clothes in a hot day like that. "Sasha, trust me he's not intimidating at all. Me and Jean hang out with him at the library. All he does is read manga, he's a huge nerd."

       "It's 'Jean and I' you fucking brat." Levi showed up again with gloves in his hands and holding some trash that he then threw in a bin, leaving right after.

       "He's always cleaning. Maybe we should get him a job here." Sasha suggested.

***

       As usual Sasha's shift ended rather late. Not only did she sincerely enjoy helping but also wanted to wait for Connie to leave in order to get a chance to talk to him. This of course never happened as she was too shy to try and have a conversation with him. She grabbed her bag and left the the mall disappointed to let yet another opportunity pass by her. Her stomach growled loudly and she opened her bag to look for some food she was sure she had put there before going to work. She grew frustrated looking for her snack and ended up dropping everything she had on her bag onto the floor. She sighed and got to her knees and began putting everything back where it belong.

       "Clumsy as ever, I see." A male voice echoed. "What's up, Potato Girl?"

       "Jean, please stop calling me that." He smirked looking down on her. "What do you want anyways?"

       "Just wanted to say hi." He answered simply running his fingers through his ashy blond hair and his tongue carelessly playing with his lip piercing. After getting all of her stuff again she got up to her feet and glared at him. He had the AC/DC t-shit she had gotten him for his birthday and some black ripped jeans.

       "Thanks for the help." She said sarcastically making him chuckle.

       "Anytime, Potato girl." She had known Jean since they were kids and they got along most of the time. He was always teasing her for eating too much which annoyed her quite a bit but she couldn't say she hated him. He was actually a very good friend when he wanted to be.

       "Kirschtein." Sasha's heart fluttered as she saw Connie Springer approaching them. Her face heated up when he turned his attention to her and she found herself paralyzed looking at him. He studied her features carefully and then gave her a small smile before turning back to Jean "You going home already?"

       "Yeah, I'm actually free today. Wanna come over and play some games?" He asked and Connie nodded shortly. "See you around, Potato Girl." He waved at her. She just stood there watching them leave with shaky legs her heart still racing.

       "Holy freckled Jesus, he's hot."

***

      Connie and Jean sat on the couches of the latter's living room, eyes glued on the TV as their fingers fidgeted through the controllers. Jean was madly frowning as he tried his best not to lose to Connie but such ended up happening anyways. He cursed loudly and Connie threw his fists up in the air victoriously.  

       "Suck my ass, Jean!" He yelled while the blond dropped the controller in disappointment, Connie patted his back and giggled. "Hey, can I ask you a question without having you giving me shit?" Jean raised an eyebrow at him. "What's that girl's name? She was cute."

       "What girl?" Jean questioned him confused.

       "You know... the one you were talking to before we left work."

       "You mean Sasha?" He definitely did not see that one coming. "You think Potato Girl is cute?" He asked him using the nickname he had given her for being such a messy eater when they were children.

       "Yeah. I've caught her staring at me a few times." He smirked. "I'm telling you, she wants me.." Jean almost laughed. It was true, he had seen her gawking at him so many times that he had lost count. He probably reciprocated her feelings as well. Connie dropped the subject and the two boys got back to playing games.  

***

       Jean called Sasha letting her know he wanted to meet her after work; this left the brunette confused since he had been so busy not only with Hot Topic but also tutoring some kids who had summer school. Even though she found it weird, she waited for him outside Hot Topic like he had asked her to. She looked down at her feet and patiently waited for him to show up. When she spotted a familiar ashy blond hair leaving the place waved at him excitedly, receiving a short wave back and a blank face as a response. He looked back at the store as if he was waiting for something and then averted his gaze back to the girl.

       "Hey." He greeted. "Let's go somewhere."

       "Where are we going, though?" She asked a bit annoyed at the lack of information. He just kept walking away from Hot Topic ignoring her question he didn't go very far as she grabbed his arm making stop in his tracks. "Oi Jean!" She called him a bit angry at how weird he was acting.

       "I'm gonna help you talk to the guy you like." He admitted making Sasha's eyes widen. He let out a defeated sigh. "I just need you to know something first." Sasha eyed her friend confused, this was definitely out of character for him. "Sasha, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be saying this now but I really need you to know this before you get together with another guy." His cheeks had a slight red tone on them and he couldn't help but to look away to try and regain his composure. He cleared his throat. "The truth is... I already loved you before I knew what love even was. But I never could grow some balls and admit it to you. It might sound selfish of me but I really needed to get this of my chest and I'm sorry if this is a burden to you, I really didn't mean for it to be like that." They were in complete silence for a couple minutes before he spoke again with a bittersweet smile on his lips. "I told Connie you had agreed on going on a date with him, he's waiting for you at the entrance. I promise I'll stay put from now on. I'm really sorry Sasha." He placed a quick kiss on her forehead and then left, the girl just stared at the back of his head in shock until he was finally out of sight.