#but like the way ppl write him is soo good

[splataii]

so uh @b1ueprinc3 made a post and i was inspired to make this drabble.

pervert manager dabi x male reader

cw: sub/bottom male reader, top/dom character, dacryphilia, degradation, minor exhibitionism, groping

anyway dabi first meets you an just thinks ur so fucking cute. he just loves your enegry and attitude, and becomes a lil too eager to train you, always being a lil touchy. hes down horrendous, always grabbing ur ass to congratulate you for a job well done at the end of the day or whatever.

insists he a “hands on learning” typa guy. always grabbing you by the waist so he can grind his obvious boner against your ass as he scoots behind you. always grabs u by the back of the neck, rubbing a thumb up its side as he leans over your shoulder to look at whatever work has you occupied. grabs you by the beltloop when youre passing him so he can spin you around and tell you about this “important work related thing” while he keeps his fingers pressed into your hips.

he already thinks you look pretty good in the assigned uniform, but one day, he has the genius idea to spill some water or something over you so you're forced to change into a top that's a couple sizes too small (which he insists is the only available uniform, yes it's mandatory, no you can't go home and change).

he promises it was an accident, and that he’ll wash it for you (despite the fact you insist you can clean it yourself) but instead spends his time dropping random shit on the ground so he can see your pants strain against ur ass and the way your shirt rides up your back.

the liar also takes your old shirt to the backroom to fist his cock with, pretending it's ur fucked out face he's cumming on. you ain't never getting that shit back

speaking of jerking off, this bitch does it all the time. specifically does it when youre getting off break and heading to the break rooms, so you can hear the sound of him shamelessly moaning your name as he finishes to another one of his gross fantasies of you laying spread out for him in his bed. he exits the stall and smiles when he sees your face like its no big. always makes sure to give ur ass a nice slap and some half assed “work hard” crap before he leaves you totally embarrassed.

nyway he also a bit overprotective, never stepping more than a couple feet away from you while you're working with a customer, and even other coworkers. he knows people know how cute you are. why would he leave his sweet boy to deal with those random mofos? he just stands behind you glaring when he feels someone is getting too close. you get a little confused, when they eventually leave, terrified, but he's always there to comfort you. your ass is his, you don't need no one else baby<3

he can have a bit of a mean streak sometimes tho, stretching you thin. whenever you (expectedly) fail to meet his impossible deadlines, he’s teasing you. talking about what a dumb little boy you are. he could probably fire you, if he wanted to. but he wont. if you could do this one little thing for him.. he pulls you into an old storage closet, freeing his cock from the confines of his pants so he can slap it on your face and spread his pre all over your cheek and nose. he can't help it, you just look a lot cuter this way. besides, he knows you can take it. dumb little boys like you are only made for one thing. since you're such a bad employee, show him what a damn good whore you are.

dabi claims he's only mean cause he cares. boys like you need to be taught a lesson so no one can take advantage of you. but sometimes, he plays like he's gonna make you answer calls while hes spearing you on his dick, just so he can see your pretty tears as you shake ur head no.

once again, he can have complete one eighty's, giving you all these bonuses and gifts at work saying “you deserve it” and all that shit, but everybody at work knows the reason you get all this special treatment is cause he slutting you out behind closed doors.

at the end of the day, you’re really just dabi’s personal whore. and everyone knows it.

[starlyx0]

so I have noticed some people think Ben is boring (trust me I’ve seen it)

so I am here to talk about everything ben and try to explain his character!

This won’t be the best character analysis

as English is not my first language and I'm trying to bring more attention to stuff that's not talked about often.

So I'm going to split this into 6 categories to try to make writing this easier for me so bare with me.

Things I’ll go over!

personality 

looks 

hobbies

past & current 

relationship with family 

relationship with friends

This is going to have a bunch of stuff that are headcanons I'm only including them to show ppl if u can put some thought into it u can get some reasonable ones.

1 | personality

I see a lot of ppl reduce his character to only music and being mute? which really upsets me because he soo so much more,

but making his entire personality music makes me so mad

most headcanons I see are all the same PLEASE I AM TIRED of hearing what kind of songs he listens to that or all ship headcanons titled as Bens 

he's a shy awkward guy we all know that cuz he really just stands in a corner awkwardly scratching his neck most times and he also doesn’t like horror or anything scary (eps 11) 

hes a protective older brother not overly like Tyler where hes more protective of Tay from other people ben is more chill going and more afraid of what life throws at Lily, there’s not much here cuz more points I have fit in the other categories :)

2 | looks 

he looks kinda of basic nobody can deny that so I won't, but because of his past I imagine he would have a bunch of scars ik he doesn’t and that’s a bummer cuz I really wish he had 🥲

After he lost his voice he became super facially expressive but also really good at hiding his emotions so it’s either really easy to read him or really hard no in between. also because of his past bullying, I assume it affected him and the way he presents himself that why he sticks to basic outfits and look,

overall trying not to bring attention to himself even after therapy he stuck to his habit but if someone gave him a little push and helped him he would drop it and start putting thought into his looks,

saw this somewhere I don’t remember where they said he would have curly hair as a kid but his mom didn’t know how to take care of it so they ended up shaving it and i think curly or wavy haired Ben would be so cute also he would look amazing with an eyebrow piercing %100 and uhh I genuinely don’t remember him smiling genuinely in canon so i imagine his with a downturned smile I may be wrong about that idk

3 | hobbies

did I make this a separate category just to talk about him being an artist? yes I absolutely did 🙂↕️

I fear most people forgot about it n honestly and that is criminal 

there is not much said about it in canon but I’ll work with what I have,

he probably didn’t have much artistic skills when he was younger and only started doing it as a distraction and a way to calm down n he probably made himself draw

I feel like red projected onto him in that ifykyk😭

but from the picture Ben draws based on things that happen so he diff draws a bunch of random things he sees and thinks its cool, he would draw everything and everyone and I feel his art style would be more realistic tbh

but Ben also plays guitar, plays piano 

, fight, used to sing, and the medic of the group like what else he do?? he is literally perfect what more can I say here but most of these are not really hobbies but skills he had to learn for the sake of his life 

4 | Past & current 

I’ll talk more here about how his past affects him currently,

I love to think he has a fear of fires because of the fire that burned down his house more of a headcanon tbh

see the pan he burned in that official art? it took him half an hour in his room to calm down his heartbeat and gathering around the campfire is the opposite of relaxing for him

probably hates turtlenecks with his being 

and I want to talk about his voice as that affects him the most what really bothers me about the fandom is that a lot of people ignore the fact that he probably will never speak. 

I see plenty of ppl benlor shippers say 

“he would sing for —-🥺“ “he would whisper to comfort—🥺“ n it makes me wonder are we even talking about the same character???? which is absolute bullshit if he did that he is the one that’s gonna need comfort like please. he would probably never speak unless he sees someone's head gets ripped off there body.

It's said flat out in episode 27

That he has the option to speak but he doesn’t why? Because he hates his voice and if he hates his voice sm he chose to not speak for yearsss what makes u think he would speak for the sake of someone else's comfort when doing that only pains him? he is selectively mute for a reason I'm not saying he doesn’t have a voice but at least if u headcanon him to speak in the future at least let it be for his own sake instead of doing it for someone else or make it about ur ship.

5 | Relationship with family 

Starting with his parents I don’t think they are bad parents at all they tried to help him as much as they could but they couldn’t so they opened up other options and let him move away and heal even if he’s not with them I think what the did is a good choice for their situation and their relationship would still be great tbh considering the distance 

now onto Lily

I honestly can talk about them for days. I love them 

Their relationship is so sweet the way Lily is stuck to him every chance she gets and ah also used to sing to her can you imagine how she felt seeing her brother coming home later and later covered in bruises not singing to her to sleep anymore watching him sneak out 

she basically watched her brother spiral down and then leave she was probably too young to really understand what was going on fully so now she just wants to spend all the time she can with him and he tries to make up for lost time :(

now Aiden 

most people probably forgot Aiden is the closest person to Ben and the same goes the other way around.

Aiden is a life long friend of Ben’s

he literally trusts him, follows him everywhere and lets him decide for him 

they spent most of their time together since Ben moved in they live together there stuck together.

Aiden probably helped him a lot mentally helping him try new things and be more carefree

Ben also probably helped him mentally and physically patching him up and looking out for him overall,

I see some Aiden fics that are like “Oh no Ben’s gonna be so upset at me 😖” and they make him act like a nurse, not a friend and he just bandages him up then leaves as if nothing happened and someone else comes and in does all the comforting 

like I can count all the fics where Ben acts like a decent person and I'd still have more fingers up than down,

it’s so upsetting how ignored their relationship is in this fandom they deserve so much more honestly.

6 | Relationship with friends 

he is definitely the therapist friend 

He is that kind of friend that you can tell everything to him going from weird food to the worst time of your life and won't even realize it 

his friendship with Ash is very chill not the closest I'd say,

they're really just trying to keep their peace lmao

his friendship with Taylor

I imagine them as gossip girls tbh Ben being a quiet kid while Taylor is popular they definitely know some good gossip 

his friendship with Tyler is something he used to find him irritating but then he realized they have a lot in common especially when Tyler was teaching him guitar which was precise since he was the one who offered 

and his friendship with Logan 

it's really sweet Logan would try to teach him gardening while they talk about their interests

and be absolute nerds together lmao

overall the friendship between all of them is really sweet ik I didn’t give it justice here but the found family trope and the way they find comfort in each other is just everything to me

And I'm done yappin hope u enjoyed that because that was over 1,5k words 

if u have any questions feel free to ask 🫡

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

kenjaku is genuinely so creepy and i think that’s one of the reason why i love him SOOO much !! ive always had a liking towards characters who are insanely messed up and grotesque and kenny is like the perfect example of that. hes gross like — actually. i think hes a good example of how genuinely fucked up jjk is, and as much as people hate him i think he’s such an amazing character. gege’s dark writing when it comes to him and sukuna is so IWHSHSBSHEWJW !! sukuna being a cannibal and his entire thing revolving around cooking is so cool to me. like his entire character circles around things like that. he can use fire which.. cooking! when you cook you can eat! sukuna eats ppl.. his malevolent shrine is just a bunch of slashes which cut you to death and when you cook you’re usually cutting and chopping things.. with kenjaku and the whole pregnancy thing as well.. the womb.. it’s like disturbing and honestly it makes ppl a little sick but i find it so interesting because that kind of writing i LOVELOVEEE SMM!! kenjaku was willing to do the most nasty things just to get his plan to work. he’s such a scum of the earth guy sigh.. that’s why im so SOO happy i found this blog because you also like kenjaku and i can safely talk about my love for him without getting jumped 💔 im really sorry this is so long!! im just really happy it’s a safe spot to talk about these things! i love horror :3

i love kenny 🐑

THIS THIS THIS THIS . GOD. THIS.

i literally love you so much lambnon you worded this perfectly….. i loveeeee horror elements in fiction and i agree that jjk does it so so SO well!!!! sukuna & kenjaku are such great examples because not only are they morally reprehensible in really disgusting ways, they also … feel literally no shame over it. they never try to justify it . morality doesn’t even exist to them, and i think villains like that are sooo fun <33

sukuna’s cannibalism and general thematic ties to food & eating is SO tasty especially since it all goes back to him eating his twin in the womb … it’s like eating is a curse that follows him around but he’s made it into a point of pride. you know? he’s so unabashedly awful and i loveeee that about him…..

AND KENJAKU. i agree on all points!!!! everything!!!!!! he’s soooooo creepy and so eerie and so gross. i find it really funny and fitting that even sukuna thinks of kenjaku as a freak LMAO. which is . extra interesting when you remember that the womb is a special place even to sukuna… and kenny sort of… perverts it. he makes it into his own science lab. it’s so twisted and sickening and tasty because kenjaku doesn’t just impregnate that woman from the kamo clan, he impregnates himself!!!! and i can only imagine that he did it partially just out of worldly curiosity which is….. sooo . him? he’s so insane? 😭

literally nothing is off limits to kenjaku, and that makes him such a fun villain….

^ i think he says it best himself :3c

the womb motif in general is also so . Good… the motherism of it all….. i’m forever bitter that we never got to see his domain in action because the fact that it’s basically a manifestation of a womb realm is soooooo fucking sick oh my god. body horror is so scary to me but also so insanely tasty and the fact that kenjaku’s whole character revolves around it just!!! scratches my brain. no pun intended.

anyway …. this ask made me a little insane. i’m so happy to have you here lambnon!!!! :’3 this blog will always be a safe space for lovers of the grotesque / of kenjaku in general <333 our beloved scum!!!

[gatoraid]

Random, but can I ask why do you love Yut Lung? What made him special? Is there a certain moment in Banana Fish where you know, this will be my favorite character?

P.s I can't believe the mangaka end Yut Lung just like that in the later manga. Are you surprised, too?

This is the perfect ask, YES you can ask me why I love my fave character. <3 This has been sitting in my drafts for a while but since the jp fandom is currently drawing a lot of Yut Lung fanart for the Mid-Autumn Festival, I feel like it's a good time to try answer this.

Yut Lung as a character is just endlessly fascinating to me. He’s the bitchy antagonist, the foil and twisted mirror image of Ash and to a lesser extent Eiji too. He has such delicious relationships with so many of the characters in the story, he's THE fandom bicycle to me.

I love how Yut Lung is full of contradictions. He’s an evil mastermind and seductress pulling at the strings, but he’s also a traumatized 16-year-old kid who misses his mother. He uses his femininity and beauty as a weapon and never fails to bring a fashion moment when going out, yet at home he only ever wears ugly grandpa sweaters.

One of the reasons why I enjoy reading about him so much is that he’s not really a good person. He’s petty and jealous. He’s been having a bad time his whole life and he wants to make it your problem too. Yet at the same time, you see how torn he feels about Shorter's death, how he just wants acceptance and for someone to take care of him. Idk, something about him showing his ugly sides and still being someone who clearly would deserve love and healing just feels so cathartic to me.

And let's not even get started on the gender stuff. I tend to latch on to characters with atypical gender expressions, and Yut Lung is explicitly referred to and viewed as feminine by other characters in the story. Is he someone who's learned to use his perceived femininity to his advantage (the ppl who have compared him to the main character of M Butterfly are so smart), or is this how he actually wants to present? Maybe both? In any case, this aspect of his character has also made him very dear to me.

Also, I actually do know the exact moment I realized Yut Lung would become my fave:

Soo yeah, despite being a fan of the manga for years, it was the anime adaptation that made his character really pop for me. Maybe it was just the right timing for me to vibe with his particular story, or maybe the fact that the anime staff clearly loved him made him stand out even more? His updated character design is just so good! Obviously I love his manga and anime versions equally now, the anime was just the catalyst.

You also asked about Yut Lung's story arc in Yasha. I'm putting the rest after a cut bc of spoilers.

I haven't read Yasha myself, but I've read enough fic and other reports to know the basics of how Yut Lung's life ends in that story. I'm very sad since I just wanted him to keep on living, taking reponsibility for the shitty things he has done. But idk if I can say I'm surprised. Unlike the anime staff, I think it's pretty clear that Akimi Yoshida did not love Yut Lung at all. I feel like she disliked him quite a bit actually, so writing an ending like that for him makes sense in a way sobbbb.

[chromateclipse]

Okay, so you like Velvet and Veneer? Well, if you get the chance, I want you to speak! TELL ME EVERYTHING!! I want you to give me headcannons please, as many as you can think of :)

pls and thx!!

AHHH! OK so I've never done anything like this but I put as many as I could think of. If I come up with anything else, I'll edit this and add it (or just make a new post) 

(lots of words ahead 💀)

General headcanons :

- They one hundred percent had the Barbie mugshot but with Velvet's deadly stare instead

- and Veneer made sure he looked good; they are taking a picture after all

- I think Velvet might be a little taller than Veneer but they're both taller than average

- never leaves the house without heels or platforms or both

- Veneer has must-be-wearing-a-crop-top syndrome. Can't be cured 😔 

- I'm sorry but they totally sang Circus by Britney Spears. That song is so V&V coded and has female and male vocals too 😩

- The sass is too hard to contain for this duo. Once a sly thought appears in their mind, they have to voice it (but I'm not complaining. They're iconic) 

- Veneer can be a little blunt or rude sometimes. I know ppl like to imagine him as just the caring and silly sibling but he did everything Velvet did. He just had morals that started to kick in once the threat of being a killer was thrown at him. 

(I mean did you see him nearly just toss Floyd down the toilet 💀)

- of course, I still think he is silly and kind and chooses to do so for a fair portion of the time but he's no stranger to being ignorant to most of his wrongdoings as well

- and I think they both have some trauma from practically killing Floyd. GET THEM THERAPYYY

- I think Velvet would like decorating and making things ✨Aesthetic✨

- like a little journal that she'd write her feelings in and then fill with beautiful stickers and photos (totally not a burn book....) 

- I think Poppy would love love looove to see Velvet's journal filled with beautiful stationary. She'd probably get her into scrapbooking and they'd make the cutest little displays or books just brimming with photos, cutouts, diagrams, and more. 

-Poppy and Viva can be a little overwhelming for Velvet at first but they'd totally become great gal pals and just chat all day. 

- and at first, Bergen features might be a little....alarming to Velvet but she'd learn to love Bridget just like Poppy does

-also both are invited to the broppy wedding... 👀

- she also of course become friends with the BroZone brothers but I get more into that below ⬇️

"Story" headcanons :

- So for Velvet, I think in the movie she was so blinded by her need for fame and luxury that she didn't notice how her family (Veneer) helped her and stuck around through all the things she said and did. This would separate her from being just a complete villain because I do believe that she can reform herself into something better

- In Jail, I think Velvet would really hate it and everyone around her. She probably wouldn't want to talk to Veneer at all at first but being alone might give her time to reflect on herself

- over a little time, I think she'd realize how Veneer was always there for her and understood her ways. She'd definitely come back around and they'd be back to being as close as they were before, maybe even more

-It would take some time for both Velvet and Veneer to adjust. 

- Veneer would dislike jail very much. He's so used to his life of luxury that I'm sure he'd be surprised by how little you get behind bars

- and with Velvet wanting to be alone, he would probably feel more alone than ever

- but he knows he did the right thing and even though prison sucks, he'd get through it

- Veneer would probably try to make friends with some of the people there but it is prison soo.... I'm not sure how well that would go. 

- if anyone came to visit him, he'd be so happy cuz jail is sooo boring and he'd finally get to yap away to somebody who knows him.

- you just know they'd be styling that prison jumpsuit the best the can

- can you sneak heels into jail??

- Velvet and Veneer are kinda "eye candy" for the criminals in jail and they might get targeted by those who are jealous or looking for a fight

-Velvet's not the only one with an attitude problem, Veneer can very well relay a comment or two that can easily get them into some trouble. He'll have to work on that along with his sister, learn how to correctly treat the people around them

 - After they become besties again, they'd have each other's backs like never before. I think Velvet really really does care about Veneer and if anything ever happened to him, she'd be devastated. This time, she'd really like to treat him how he deserves and nurture that sibling bond. 

- and you know once anyone throws hands with one sibling, the other comes swinging

- 💥KNOCKOUT💥

- not the best thing to do if you want to get out of jail fast but hey, nobody messes with twins and gets away with it

- Due to other more serious situations being forgiven in the past, I think Velvet & Veneer wouldn't be in prison for too long. I can easily see BroZone forgiving them and offering to help the twins with whatever they'd need

- Veneer would definitely become great friends with Floyd and even Bruce. After all, he knows what it's like to be sensitive and a heartthrob 😌

- and I can see Velvet relating to Branch and J. D. She's probably a control freak (or was) and always wants everything to be perfect, just like John Dory. That's something they'd both have to work on. And I think Velvet and Branch can relate to one another's sassy sarcastic comments and occasional snide remarks. 

- I can also see them joining Clay's sad book club. I need to see a scene of Veneer just balling his eyes out after finishing a book while all the others just pat him on the back 😆

- @horrorartist23 did a couple of drawings of Velvet & Veneer(or maybe just Ven idk) working at Bruce's Beachside Bar and I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH.

- ESPECIALLY since Bruce said his family was a total Veneer household. I think it would be so cute for not only his kids getting the chance to meet Vel&Ven but also for Vel&Ven to get a little bit of real work experience.

- it would be so good for them to work at a place like that to learn about themselves and a work environment.

- plus the whole island is gorgeous and pretty luxury, which would fit into they're ideal environment. AND everything is Rageon sized so they don't have to worry about being too big!!

- They'd literally be working hard and making it look easy 💀

- I think it's perfect and I love it

-after jail and therapy, I think Velvet would really love the life she has. She'd of course still make mistakes sometimes and her sass will never leave. That's just who she is and none of us would want to change that . But she'd have a way healthier mind and so would the people around her. 

- I think both of them might want to actually learn how to sing and dance like real performers 

- Velvet hates making mistakes or not being perfect at a skill immediately. I know how that is and it's really difficult to get past but with more encouragement from Veneer and even the Brozone brothers, she'd become the star she always knew she was. 

- And Veneer would take initiative for himself and practice performing like a real idol. I feel Veneer would also struggle with wanting perfection immediately but I think he'd really fall in love with dancing and this would help him keep up the determination. And he'd be really good at it too after some practice

- Knowing how good they can be if they put in the work would be a huge motivator too. Cuz they only stole Floyd's talent, not his voice. And because of this Velvet knows that she sounds good when she's at her peak in skill. They know that they can be amazing, they just have to work for it this time 

-Trying to become famous again for the right things would definitely be hard. They're reputation is awful

- BUT, I think Mount Rageous would give them a chance to prove themselves. Considering how all Rageons are obsessed with media, fame, and celebrities, I think they couldn't resist the bait of former popstars Velvet & Veneer coming back to the stage, this time with their own talent that they've truly worked hard to perfect. 

- And they'd deserve it for how much work they put into reforming their lives. 

- Plus, nobody can take away their love for the stage and performing. They're too iconic to forget 💅

- and you know I'd be keepin' my eye out for that V&V/BroZone collab 🌟

- First live performance with BroZone, Velvet and Veneer are getting their Perfect Family Harmony. And you can bet it will be the most amazing thing to ever grace the planet

- I'd die 💀

That's all that I can think of right now 🤔 I hope you enjoyed reading my thoughts on these two. I really really love them and getting to write this down was really fun. If you have any ideas you'd like to expand upon or thoughts you'd like to share, let me knooww! And of course, Thank you sweetgirl15161819 for sending this ask!! 💖 💖

[zenia62]

Mrs Ross Identity Revealed

Hey guys!! ✨️ Soo update abt the Mrs Ross thing. I was js randomly translating yet again on one of Daendels book (Not Paul Van't Veer one) since I want to find more infomartion abt his relationship w Valckenaer when suddenly I stumbled upon her name again, this time was addressed as Mrs Van Ross 👀

(...) Someone who continued to make a great effort for the captured Dutchmen at the Russian headquarters was Mrs. van Ross, who had even given a banquet and ball at her house to commemorate the coronation day of Tsar Alexander, to which the Russian governor had also been invited. This was reported by a German who had come from Warsaw in the Berliner Courant of 7 December 1813. There had been a band of no less than 30 oboists and some girls "dressed as Kosakkinens"! In mid-December Mrs. van Ross must have left Warsaw with her son, because Daendels received a letter from her dated 24 December from Dresden. This prompted him to write to the Swedish Crown Prince Bernadotte again on 2 January and then to the Sovereign Prince again on 6 January, of which he simultaneously sent a copy to Mrs. van Ross with the words: "Dear Friend! From the last post I have received your very pleasant letter of December 24 from Dresden. The courier who brought the keys of Modlin has also returned, but without an answer from His Majesty the Emperor Alexander to my request to be employed in Holland. Your intervention, dear Friend, will therefore be more and more necessary, especially with the Russian Minister of Police under whom all prisoners of war are placed. He has already given orders for the departure of the Saxons from here... Your heartfelt friendship and services rendered are deeply imprinted in my heart." Although no Russian permission to leave had yet been received, nor was there any willingness to take him into Dutch service, a note did arrive from Van der Wijck - adjutant of the Sovereign Prince - dated 26 January, with the general remark: "according to the agreement with the Allies, it is up to every Dutchman, and therefore also to him, to return to his fatherland, on a passport from the authority of the place where he is." On 7 February Daendels wrote to Bernadotte again to request his intervention with the Tsar and also to be allowed to escort back his artillery commander from Modlin, the French major Jacques, whose leg had been amputated. In the meantime, Mrs. van Ross had travelled from the Russian headquarters to Langres on the Haut-Marne, despite the winter season, from where she returned exhausted to Holland and died in Amsterdam on 25 April 1814. (...)

I bolded the clues I used to find her. I decided to search on google Mrs Van Ross w her death year n managed to find a woman named "Johanna Catharina Countess van Ross, née De Schubert (1763-1814)" 😮 her name was quite similar n after digging more, I can confirm that she was Mrs Van Ross. I found this description of her in the picture I found

"Johanna Catharina Countess van Ross, née De Schubert (1763-1814) was Dutch and lived in Warsaw from around 1802. Out of patriotism, she probably offered shelter to some of the fleeing Dutch soldiers from the Napoleonic army (1812-13) in Warsaw."

Here is her face btw 🫡

From what I understand, it seems like Mrs Ross was trying to help all of the Dutch ppl that are taken prisoner of war in Russia (Including Daendels) to be released quickly. Maybe by her making a party for the Tsar coronation was her way to get into the Russian official good sides n tried to convince them to release the Dutch ppl (?) 🤔 She even went as far as to travelled back to Russia in the winter to helped them I think. She seemed to be the one helping Daendels in delivering his letters to the kings aswell 👀 Overall, I believe she was js trying to help Dutch ppl out of prisoner of war n that she n Daendels were js friends. From the letter that Daendels wrote to her, I think he felt that her help was smth he can never forget or repay perhaps which I believe make sense tho 🫢

Anyways, that's all for now, I'm so happy that I get to actually find out who is she n understand her friendship w Daendels. If u guys have any other opinion abt them, feel free to tell me ofc! 🫶 I'll be happy to hear it ^^ So the question remained, does Daendels technically cheated? Well, for me, no. Cus he seemed to be desperate for help n there is nothing rlly romantic out of them but everyone have different opinion so yeah 😁 Thank you y'all for reading n have a nice day 🌙

[ward-en]

ugghhh, been playing phasmo public lobbies and I'm annoyed so time for a rant. I'll spare you the annoyance and put it under the cut

PHASMO PUBLIC LOBBIES. I know lots of other ppl have problems with them (esp other girls), but I didn't realise they sucked this badly. The only lobby I could find where the people were actively playing the game and communicating with each other was the same game where I had to leave midway through because they wouldn't talk to me properly. it was just "bri'ish" jokes. like I don't even rly care about those kinds of jokes considering I joke abt American accents all the time (not that these guys were american but thats besides the point), but it's when ppl are refusing to talk to me like a regular human being that it pisses me off. bear in mind these guys heard me speak and instantly went "where are you from". my response wasnt even that rude considering how creepy of a question that can be (response being "none of your business"). and then you get the average lobby experience: you're the only girl in a lobby of 3 men who will NOT listen to you. "Oh guys it turned off the light switch after I touched it, it's a mare!"...

...

silence.

5 minutes (5 WHOLE MINUTES) after this one of the guys goes "Oh I got ghost writing it's a mare" and oh SUDDENLY everyone decides to listen. It wasn't even a case of "let's get the rest of the evidence first to make sure it wasn't a coincidence" it was complete and utter ignorance. and no it wasn't that they couldn't hear me, they heard me say hi in the lobby and (miraculously) they responded.

soo yeah, I'm pissed off tbh. I know most online game lobbies are like this but it still pisses me off to no end. and I don't even think I've seen the worst of it, some reddit posts I find from other women are way worse than my experiences. the first time I played online was better than this tbf, found this girl who was rly nice and actually good at the game. we added each other on steam then never bothered playing again tho. and even then I had to kick some dude from a lobby i was playing in bc he joined and first thing he does is start flirting (well, more like harassing) with a female teammate I was playing with before. AND when I kicked him the other dude in our lobby had the audacity to DEFEND this dude. apparently I was in the wrong for kicking him just because he was prestige 20.

ok, end of rant. men suck.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

not really an ask, more like a compliment 😔💔

genuinely saying this, you're my favorite bkg writer EVER. like the way you write him so in character is insane to me in all aspects, you literally have me stalking your page almost daily because you write so good 💔💔

STOP ITTTT U GUYS SPOIL ME TM😭😭 !! THIS IS SOO SWEET

but in all seriousness, thank you SO MUCH mootie i'll keep doing my best, to make sure you keep enjoying my writing ! and i always LUV when ppl love my of characterising so you definitely know my weak spots tehehe im giggligng🤭

much luv xxx

[dthclws]

im curious now and i like to hear ppl talk abt characters so! what is it about damian that makes him compelling to you? what do you like abt him/his character? (genuinely <3)

well. robin son of batman was really the comic that like cemented damian in my heart like its so crazy the art the writing (most of the time) the characterization is so. gutwrenching like he KILLS me in that comic. idk just his struggle with having to reconcile his desire to be what he was trained to be vs his idolization of his dad. damian in his early stuff is just constantly going What do you mean its bad to be ruthless and merciless and violent im trying to be you. and bruce goes. Who??? told you that?????? very funny. to me. horrible attitude horrible behavior he’s so stubborn but i love it. and there are so many reasons that he is the way he is especially when you realize that like. damian has literally never ever had fun or let himself have fun he doesn’t know how to PLAY with other kids and the batgirl panel where steph realizes this and gets a bouncy castle and forces him to. have fun. makes me crazy he’s a little kid what the hell. and son of batman even has some call backs to previous comics like theres this part in batman and robin (i think) where damian crushes a bat in his hands bc he got frustrated to show that its just like. natural for him to act that way bc thats what he was taught to do. violence is natural. and then when damian realizes he doesn’t actually. like violence that he doesnt want to hurt people fuuck dude he’s just a little boy trying to do what he thinks he’s supposed to do and then reckoning w the fact that he’s WRONG. and theres this panel in son of batman where damian is laying on his back in the batcave and staring at the skeleton of this bat he killed without even thinking of it. and he has like tears in his eyes. the potential of his character development is sooo compelling i just wish they gave him that chance. not to mention maya in son of robin as a perfect narrative foil for damian all the responsibility to family and the pressure of a legacy and what it means, whether they placed it on their own shoulders or not. soo good. and they’re silly. also damian’s pet goliath SIIICK SICKENINGG. one punch man image. What’s with this sassy lost child

[earlysunshines]

IM BACK AFTER LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC RECS !! Everything you recommend was 🤭👏❤️ not a song that I didn’t like. But I’m here to tell you my favs

Do 2 me - kaytandra

I really liked this one the beat is super good and catchy the chorus I think (~~you no what you do to me. I said no….) that part was my favorite I immediately added this song to my playlist

Beauty and essex

I’m already a huge fan of Daniel Cesar so anything with him I’m already hooked so this song was fire

Wake up call by Mel blue

The perfect feel good song while driving in the car after a long day

Daisy - w2e

I have a couple w2e songs in my playlist and I need to listen to them more because I’m missing out on sm this song was so good

Slow down - Mac ayers

UGHHH THIS WAS SOO GOOD. This song has been on repeat since last night when I listened to it for the first time

Come back to me - rm

Was boppin my head the entire time I was listening to this. Never listened to rm but it makes me wanna listen to more

Satin - destin

This reminded me of Chris brown. I really like his voice

ANDDD I also wanted to say what you said abt Kendrick was 1000% true. I went to his Mr morale concert a couple years ago and all the videos I took were kinda ruined because I was singing into my phone the entire time and ruining the video💀

Buttttt thank you sm for the songs your music taste is insane

- the anon who asked for the music recs

OH MY GOSH ILY??S?DL:KF: i love when ppl take time to listen to my recs music is soooo serious to me u don't get it like omfg you deserve love and luck for the rest of your life

do 2 me: first listen had me hooked esp the intro/first verse it just had a flow and vibe that caught my attention so quickly

beauty and essex: sooo chill adn the first time I heard it I FELLT it in my bones like i was mkaing faces listening to it bc of how wonderful it is to hear and esp daniel caesars voice the way it swings so nicely plus the BASS OMFG...

wake up call: it was accidentally added to my playlist but I was sooo into it after first listen its so like relaxing and lowk and I listen to this a lot esp at night and when I'm in the car but a passenger + one of my favorites I listened to it a lot when I was on vacation in asia

daisy: a classic imo like this song has been with me since release bc I found wte a few months after they debuted and ugasdghh this song makes me lovesick and aushdfbsdkj

slow down: big fan of slow rnb that relaxes u, same feeling I get listening to wake up call

come back to me: i lowk shit on bts a good amount (songs they've made as a group) and have only been really into v's music, but this opened my eyes to what rm is capable of and the feeling + emotions in the song are played out so well, conveyed in a way that makes me sit and ponder I loooove this song and the whole album. i esp like the last chorus when the vocals overlap I think it's really bittersweet and I love songs like that

satin: nooo bc i discovered destin bc it was added to a playlist somehow then dove deeper into his music and omfg this one is just sooooo head bopping like shiiiit I'll be making faces listening to this too. his voice is very unique and like ughhasfdhj so perf

OFC i love giving song recs really I am so passionate about music LOL but I can't write enough words that can fully explain that thank you for taking the time to listen!! you're so sweet

[endious]

This HAS to be said…

THANK YOU for being one of the few people who portray Jeff correctly!!! I understand why people romanticise him, but I feel it’s kind of boring?? He’s so much more interesting as a fucked up, sadistic asshole with legitimate mental issues.

Your fics are soo good! I hope, if you still have the motivation to write, that you can continue in the future :)

Could I ask what your general headcanons for Jeff are? Feel free to sprinkle some NSFW ones in too ;)

SPEAK LOUDER !!!!!!! honestly though tysm that means a lot to me ! i am glad you like how i portray jeff and i agree with you that it does get boring seeing the romanticization copy and pasted on jeff. he’s so fucked up i wish more ppl saw him the way i do 😭😭 its so difficult to find writers who write him how i think he should be portrayed so i took it upon myself tbh /hj BUT TYSMMM !! jeff will always be extremely fucked up here and im going to keep him that way 🫶🫶

HCS FOR MY ONE AND ONLY ? OF COURSE ILL INDULGE US BOTH ! this isnt proofread at all and is SUPER SLOPPY I APOLOGIZE !! i kinda went with any that popped in my head when i read this so i hope its okay !

— i’ll be as honest as i can because it is HARD to describe the vision i have in my head (it’s changed many times but roughly stays the same somehow) SO I WILL TRY TO MAKE YOU SEE WHAT I SEE !!

— jeff is gross so gross. not even in the, ew you stink sense (he does, he constantly smells like blood and dirt it’s fucking nasty.) he’s sick in the head and is proud of it. would tell you how he gutted the last guy you so much as glanced in the direction of and how he writhed in pain and choked on his own spit and blood while jeff shoved his boot into the fucker’s gut for added agony. he says all this with a sick smile on his face but be sure to not make any type of look of disgust, anger or expression amongst those. he will blow up immediately and start threatening you if you so much as even hint at not agreeing with his choice of action

— he isn’t afraid of hurting you, he actually enjoys it. he’ll purposely set you up for failure so he can cut you up or bruise you just enough to leave a reminder to behave and listen next time. after all, had you just obeyed like a good little doll then he wouldn’t have had to dig his knife into the bare skin of your stomach just enough to leave a mark that would stay for a short while.

— to add onto that ^ if he’s kidnapped you then he’s even more physical with his punishments. he’ll beat you to make you understand to take his words seriously if you aren’t already. he’s slammed your head into a wall before because you didn’t answer him when he asked you a question and you’d never do that again. you’d do whatever it means to make sure he doesn’t go from leaving marks and bruises to leaving broken bones and open wounds, and he knows that you’re scared of that future and he fucking loves it.

— moving on from that situation for now. he’s surprisingly good with his words (this could either be good or bad) he knows what to say to keep you wrapped tight around his finger and he knows what to say to scare you into listening. “that, uh, new girl you’re talking to. she’s nice isn’t she?” and while he grins, you glance at him with uneasiness at his tone when he spoke.

— i think it’s evident enough he stalks the fuck out of you. whether you’re aware or not he’s always there. ever felt paranoid that someone was watching you? it’s him. but don’f expect to actually catch a glimpse of him, he’d only let you see him if he wanted you to. he’s got way too many photos of you for it to be considered normal (given your relationship with him, nothing is normal). and he’s jerked off to every single one of them. doesn’t matter if it’s suggestive, sexual or a completely innocent photo, he’s gotten off to every single one of them at least once and if he wanted to humiliate you, he’d tell you himself while you cry pretty tears and yell those silly and meaningless words you like to use at him.

— now some nsfw ones… get ready because i dont hold back on anything when it comes to jeff.

— he’s so fucking mean it should be illegal to let him speak. he mocks you, threatens you, manipulates you— whatever he can say to get reactions from you he will. “aw, doll. you look cute all marked up, what if i left my name right- here. what? scared it’ll hurt? can’t take a little bit of pain? oh, you don’t want it? i don’t think i ever asked what you wanted, slut. now hold still before i make ya really scream in pain.”

— he’s so physical with you i’d be surprised if he hasn’t nearly broken one of your arms or crushed your windpipe before. his grip is so tight and he’s so rough it’s like he’s unaware of his strength and how hard he’s being. but he’s completely aware and even makes fun of you when you claw at his arm and gasp pathetically for air he won’t allow you for a few more seconds. he wants to see how long it takes before the life in your eyes starts to flicker. and god the bruises you’ll have from him holding you down to firmly, even if you tried to get away you wouldn’t move an inch under his grasp but he likes with you try to get free so keep going until he gets bored and makes you do something else you might not like doing either.

— speaking of him liking your struggles, he’s put you in situations where you have to fight back. his knife to your throat while he orders you to struggle under him or him forcefully ripping your panties off to have his way with you. anything he does will typically have you attempting to fight back against his advances and it gets him hard and makes him want to hurt you even more the more you cry out and beg him to stop and get off you, your hands pushing against him in failed attempts to free yourself.

— KNIFE PLAY KNIFE PLAY KNIFE PLAY ! i already touched on it but ill say it again because i have this idea in my head ive yet to put into words in a draft. he fucks you with his knife from time to time, it took a few carefully chosen words to manipulate you into giving in and trying “something new” but had you known it was this? you wouldn’t have ever agreed. not that your verbal consent would’ve stopped him.

— he’s rough with holding your hips down, his arm over your lower stomach as he nudges the hilt of his knife against your folds. “ya scared, doll? nothin’ to be scared of, ‘m not putting the sharp end in your stupid cunt.” he could, but that wouldn’t be much fun would it? he pushes it just barely into your entrance and it’s difficult to adjust to, it’s such a stiff object it’s weird feeling it inside of you but he only pushes it deeper and then you feel the dips in the hilt from the use it’s gone through from jeff and how hard he must’ve held it repeatedly and oh. this shouldn’t feel as good as it’s feeling right now.

— “look at you, getting it nice an’ wet f’me aren’t ya, princess? do you know how many i’ve killed with this knife? how many bodies i’ve stabbed it into repeatedly?” and you wish he’d stop saying it like it’s some achievement of his, in fact you wish he’d stop talking all together but his voice seems to only push you further to the edge maybe that’s the pleasure talking though and not your logical brain.

okay ill stop FOR NOW LMFAO this is kinda long and i’ve never dont hcs so idk how to properly do them 💀 this is extremely messy but if i dont post it now i probably wouldnt post it for another two weeks bcus i’d think too hard on it.

[dotieeee]

Reading that previous anons ask, I’m SOO GLAD that people are finding your fics!!! I mean when i first saw the amount of notes you had on your gamemakers apprentice I was SHOCKED, I don’t mean to insult u when I say this but you are SEVERELY underrated. Like HOW is the amount of notes you have sooo low (this is the part which I don’t mean to upset you by) it must be an issue with tumblr because every time I see you post a new chapter I reblog and add like a million tags. It can’t be because of your story, I refuse to believe that cause… the chapters are long, Coriolanus is well written and accurate, reader has an enjoyable personality and that makes you like her, the story is interesting and has good pacing, im pretty sure that you said English isn’t your first language yet the grammar and punctuation is perfect. Like it’s not because of the quality of your story I genuinely believe that tumblr isn’t showing your fic on ppls fyp’s cause I’ve seen other writers get 3x more notes compared to you yet yours is better, like genuinely one of the top dark!coryo writers on here. Honestly I sometimes get annoyed when I see the amount of notes you have on your chapters cause you deserve it a lot more than some people on here, I can tell you try hard and enjoy writing and always respond to comments in the sweetest way possible

Aww dear this is so sweet I gib you hot chocolate with so many marshmallows 🥹🥹🥹 honestly not bothered with the amount of notes, and although I'd like to get more of 'em don't get me wrong, ultimately it's the process of making it that gives me such joy 😊🥰 I revere and love the characters I write (yes, including Snowball lmao I kiss him goodnight every night like my child even though he'll likely poison me 😂) so bringing them to life this and making this fantasy into an actual story?? GAHHHH

And the fact that I'm kinda new to writing on Tumblr and writing fanfic in general I think contributes to the notes, but again, that's okay with me, as long as I get to translate the scenes I have in my head into a story that makes sense, if that makes sense lol 😅 thank you dear and I'm sure others will one day encounter my writing while digging into Tumblr like archeologists discover fossils lmaooo

[drifloonz]

hmm.. do you have any favourite Pokémon/Poképasta characters? If so, what do you like about them? Or.. if you could make your own Poképasta character, what would their concept or design be? Or name in general, you don’t have to do a fully fleshed out backstory for them. Orrr, what’s your favourite thing about being on the internet or being in a fandom?

i... to no ones surprise, reaaally like steven. glitchys up there, but i think his og pokepasta sort of sucks ( which is not an unpopular opinion ), but strangled red ( specifically strangled red, strangled and doors open are... neat, but sort of badly written and way more stereotypical ) is just... mwah. chefs kiss. stories about grief and abt a depressive spiral that gets worse and worse AND you get to see how he was like before it? soo good. you can argue the missingno plotline in it was unnecessary which i could agree but i think its just cool more than anything else, esp since most pokepastas based on gen 1 use it or other glitches in the 1st gens for horror a lot, which i think is interesting. missingno can be many things!

i like to think logically that glitches and stuff in game prob exist in the pokemon universe as well, since... well.. pokemon can be turned into data. you put them into the pc. missingno likely just exists and is a heavily corrupted pokemon that is not supposed to be there, or a glitch that the pc or something made real.

therefore, miki probably was "healed" because missingno "filled" her "missing data" or something like that, but i like to keep it more vague and ambiguous too. you can do a lot with strangled red and steven, miki, and mike too which just intrigues me. once again read lessons in guilt and grief and faulty on ao3. they explore this and steven, mike, ( and daisy who doesnt get enough attention ) in a way i 100% agree with and enjoy .

as for other characters i obviously enjoy glitchy but i much more enjoy the like... post-fnflull version of him cuz' in his original popularity he was just sort of prettyboy red who was also a creepypasta but ppl barely drew him like he was one ( i like fnf lulls interp bc of how his body constantly stutters and how when hes irate his mouth just stretches and shit like that. gmod ragdoll with broken physics ass mf ). also as said before his pokepastas sort of forgettable but i do like the concept of a red stuck in a game self aware bc im allll for that shit. i am an IHNMBIMS fan, i love AM, i love self aware AIs that feel trapped and take it out on every1 else or cope with it in Some Way... very interesting concept, idk.

honorable mentions for pokepastas that ppl prob know that i do not talk abt a lot that i like the writing or concepts for are DISABLED and Hell Bell.

hell bell you could argue has a stereotypical 'pasta ending of "ooooh you die in the game you die for real" but idk i eat up the way they did it in hell bell bc the person doesnt die but they sort of do since nobody can see em anymore ( iirc, i hvent read it in a bit ). also uses gen 4 which as someone who started mainline games with diamond and pearl respectively, i enjoy that a lot.

for DISABLED, its not super deep or scary or anything ( ok well its scary for the narrator obviously ) but its another one that just sorta makes me feel bad in all the right ways.

i have concepts for pokepasta aus of my ocs and some side characters but they arent pokepastas theyre just like... ppl who live in the world ( of fnf lull usually since i like to think everything there is connected and coexists somehow ), but i am not original to save my life so i dont think id make an actual pokepasta anytime soon, lol. the closest i got was making a super horrible choose your own adventure where you played as a cubone on deviantart when i was like idk 9

as for internet and fandom stuff, i dont associate myself w fandoms or fandom terminology and unironically i just start to call myself an "enjoyer" of things, bc i dont like being associated w anything... fandom oriented a lot of the time anymore. a lot of fanonization of characters also sucks. i do think the pokepasta fandom has some funny fanonizations though. like yes dilfify that man ( @ steven )

also esp for pokepastas bc i have Hyperfixation Shame. its why i have a sideblog for it, both so it has a concentrated place to go and so no one knows i like it enough to write abt it lol

thank u 4 asking :]!

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

I find it so interesting how closely Aziraphale holds onto his identity as an Angel as opposed to Crowley who plays the role of demon but knows very well that it’s just a role and that heaven and hell are just labels. I do think it goes back to their loneliness and sense of belonging, maybe. Because Aziraphale wants (wanted?), far more than Crowley at least, to belong in this whole system even tho he knows he doesn’t. Crowley knows he doesn’t belong in the system but he does want to belong somewhere and that somewhere is, well, with Aziraphale. And it’s so sad because you know they both are outcasts and hurting and only have each other and they both want more but in different directions. UGH! I love them so much. They’ll figure it out, they’ll be okay (<- affirmations)

HELLO WORDS THAT MAKE ME FEEL AND THINK THINGS.

crowley really does fully think it's a job! there's soo much book stuff for that ("Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that." + Now, as Crowley would be the first to protest, most demons weren't deep down evil. In the great cosmic game they felt they occupied the same position as tax inspectors-doing an unpopular job, maybe, but essential to the overall operation of the whole thing. + "We were only doing our jobs," muttered Crowley. being part of the climax) that I loveee (this is not the point of your ask at all i just love anthony j crowley w all my heart and soul). and that's prob bc they already decided heaven was bullshit before the beginning and has seen and gotten the chance to evaluate both sides firsthand. but it still has to be devastatingly lonely and it isss bc p much everyone in hell is a traumatized betrayed person taking it out on the ppl below them in the command line and deciding that Being Nice is an executable offense so it's tough to find companionship there. and as for humans, do u ever think about how it must have been SO hard for her before she got sunglasses. like obv ppl would react differently to his eyes depending on culture/religion/etc but i'm sure it was often hard to talk to people! and i think enjoying wine and technology and constructing fun things for her job was satisfying enough to get by and having someone who Gets Him (But To A Hard Limit) in aziraphale helped add joy to it all but in s2 they're stagnating and depressed and she LITERALLY wants to belong somewhere and that somewhere is aziraphale......

for aziraphale i think that post-fall heaven had to be like "did you have fun killing your former friends with swords? well you were all chosen to stay angels for a reason but every day you should be terrified that if you step one toe out of line you're unworthy of god's love. lol." (also michael's whole "you've been a bit of a fallen angel" being a valid way for angels to refer to bad behavior) and it makes so much sense for someone to come out of that propaganda feeling the way aziraphale does! grey and i just recorded 2.02 and the ways in which heaven makes aziraphale feel silly and inadequate there but he's still crying his eyes out on that rock at the thought of falling make me soo. and 2.01 aziraphale saying it's nice to tell someone all the good things you've done now that he's not reporting to heaven is soo. showziraphale rlly needs outside reassurance and to belong somewhere and for millennia that somewhere has been heaven despite them all hating his ass. GOD IT'S SO MISERABLE

i think often about how by episode two of the show grey already said "I find it fascinating that both of them are situated as 'They’re different from the other people of their community,' like, Aziraphale is different from the other angels. Crowley is different from the other demons. And what they are most like is each other." well. i also love them and believe that they'll figure it out and be okay! (whether neilman is able to write that in a satisfactory fashion is something i... don't have the highest hopes for, but they will figure it out and be okay regardless of what that guy writes)

- Crystal :)

[boopiddyboop]

I see thanks! Overall all of them are so similar in any way or another and sharing many things which make them have great teamwork, ig benefits of being born so close in age!(more groups should have this) I love it <3

Well not that companies pushing it isn't true but I think that it would always happens anyways even if they had similar age, oldest ppl a lot of times will take on the caretaker roles in groups, and Sh did say this https://twitter.com/ddalgijohwa/status/1603983960610332672?t=3KXiOUTlxakCFCg_K1JJMg&s=19

And they did act very much like caretakers, still now sometimes but yeah, it's not that they don't see it but lot of ppl are still attached to the idea of a heteronormative nuclear family and since they also ship them it's perfect for them lol. They have to see them as married and not like parent figures for separate, and mom and dad instead of two dads/parents or two older brothers..Again also instigated bc of sexist stereotypes.

Yeah! I see Hj and the others have many facets but he does seem younger brother in some occasions! In fact other celebs they met and new fans even said he seemed the maknae xD In fact him and Sh are the youngest in their families! You can tell soo much when they let loose and comfortable, specially you can see it in Hj very well when he is around Seonghwa (that mind you at the beggining he wanted to call him hyung and still today sometimes but Sh forced the friend label lol), his blood older brother and other older ppl like Maddox, the other producers and managers, and acts like such a cute goofball!!🥺

Btw I'm sorry today I'm being so chatty that it's kind of tiring so maybe for you too to reply so much🙈

I think the groups that do well tend to have good synastry across most of the members' charts. I felt the same way about BTS back in the day (though I believe some of the info we had back then ended up being incorrect haha). The fact that across the whole of Ateez, they managed to only get three Moon signs also absolutely bamboozles me. (Jongho coming in clutch to even make it that many).

I certainly wouldn't want to give KQ too much credit for what dynamics ended up appearing, I just also think that they capitalize off of it. I've rambled before about Mom and Dad SeongJoong on here before (warning; tipsy writing), so there's certainly astrological precedence for that; it's just not the ONLY thing about them. I think I wrote that before I had done Seonghwa's natal chart, which really led me back to giving his Mars more credit. As for Hongjoong, it's something about the way he kind of looks for approval, for lack of better words, at times that gives me younger vibes. The fact that Beomjoong is his biggest inspiration is also just:

(Feel free to continue rambling to my askbox! that's what fandom space is for: gushing about our faves ~)

[kuunibal]

I have some avoidant tendencies😅.. i mean i have a good long history/list of ending close connections just cuz their (whichever of my past friend we’re considering) and my personality grew apart. Or our lives grew apart. And with some, i even discussed it by saying smth along the lines of “we should stop trying to be close now, we’re clearly so diff/don’t really click well.. so let’s stop putting efforts in our friendship before it gets more awkward or whtv..(some had turned bitter/passive-aggressive, didn’t wanna say that). That way we’ll remember each other good in our memories. We can obv contact each other whnv we want to😊” i’ve always ended things on good terms with ppl (tbh confronting way was v rare, cuz mostly we’d just stop checking up. I did have guilt whnv it was from my side but I knew it had to be done cuz it was going nowhere).. i only have my childhood friends. I’m not saying all this proudly. I’m just admitting I’m myself responsible for being kinda alone, n my justifications are always somewhat like “had to be done”.. It’s just.. I’m at that phase where being active for keeping friendships is kind of.. not smth i can do rn. (They’re in their exploring phase which I can’t match) I’m not going to say “bEinG aLOnE mAKes mE sO hApPy” cuz I’m a talkative one so right ppl are obv>>> but yeah from some years, being alone has been comforting n addicting.. i don’t plan on staying reserved of this level in the future cuz this goes against my personal belief of ‘an ideal adult’… (i hope this answers that ‘how have u been faring’ part…) 

Tbh i was considering how staying on this page could make me more sick😅 cuz i have a tendency of fluctuating bw…. Of assuming you to be him occasionally (I’ve done this countless times before you too). And like if you’re really not him, then I should be stopping right away. Cuz obv.. you’re just an internet stranger in the end n getting close to you is only going to be bad in the long term. Resemblance is so much that an internet str. is bothering me much more than he should. But then… I’m having soo much fun here rn & you saying “will take your response as permission to continue in the future”.. like u r enjoying my msgs so much (even i enjoy here) n have an expectation from me to continue talking, i find it so precious & absolutely bitchy of me/heartbreaking to stop talking to you. I have delusional tendencies n I usually do have to go an extra mile to truly see what is actually the reality around me n what isn’t (my thoughts/dreams took a looong time to accept i was out of school) & then, stop myself from falling into things that can consume me n detach me from seeing what’s right in front. So I’m going to stop now. 

Moreover, I know someday I’ll have also to stop this habit of allowing him to haunt me everywhere n stop ruining my present cuz of it, clinging to a subconscious hope of finding him in the end, smth that’s never going to be happen. I hope this hits you too for your situation. There are some things which are out of our control, clinging onto them, being hopeful for them doesn’t take one anywhere. No matter how strong/worshipping type your hope is. They. Are. Just. Not. Happening. Ever. It’s better to focus on the things that we can control. The nature of reality is imperfect. The quicker we accept it, the better (I have sooo many examples) Chapters can be left incomplete. Or can have a gruesome ending. The kindest, most generous person can fall off from a balcony. A perfectly healthy olympic athlete can die in a road accident. Injustice happens everywhere. World doesn’t work acc. to ppl. Someone not getting a happy ending with their loved one, is the most common scenario happening around. 

Ik I unnecessarily extended this (& ik I promised u once to not repeat this ‘trying to fix you’ habit, this this the last time)😅 but i believe to make someone see your side of things, this way is better than writing 2 summarised lines. Or idk, maybe i was just telling myself all this🤔 idk exactly how you both have been/are progressing, so apply this only if it’s required..  

-🐻

If you are still here to read this, it's not bitchy at all to advocate for your wellbeing, and it takes a lot of strength to stop doing something you enjoy and acknowledging when it may not be the most healthy for you.

Again, feel free to block me if you have not already. You are right about needing to accept reality and not cling onto the idea of someone (and right that it is something I also sorely need). I wish you the best with your healing and your future as a whole.