#but like that has to sting
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If you accept that Willow is a reflection of Giles, and Buffy is a reflection of Jenny, then Giles yelling at Willow is s6 after she brings Buffy back to life has a fun new significance.
After everything as Ripper, I don’t think Giles would ever try to resurrect someone. But I also think he probably has the ability and the knowledge to do so. Giles could have brought Jenny back, and God knows he wanted to, but he knew it wasn’t right.
Whereas Willow does not know any better, has not learnt any better, because Giles did not teach her any better. And how could Giles stand to watch Willow do what he would not? If Buffy is to her what Jenny is to him? Because if Giles had been a bit more like Ripper, (a bit more like Willow), he could have had Jenny back. And part of him yelling at Willow over this, is him knowing he would have done the same thing at her age, and maybe just a little bit of it is him being envious of Willow for not knowing better.
And it isn’t until omwf that Giles learns that actually Buffy is far worse off having been resurrected. So until then, there’s that question in the back of his mind of why didn’t he at least try to bring her back. Like Giles has very brutally been taught to stay within the laws of magic, and by that point in his life I could not see him breaking them. But seeing Willow resurrect Buffy must have been a little tempting.
#rupert giles#willow rosenberg#buffy summers#jenny calendar#giles very much does not want to be ripper#and in doing so gives up any chance to bring Jenny back#which is probably for the best!#but like that has to sting
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Malleus having older sibling trauma. Malleus resenting how Lilia is able to openly express being Silver's parent but had to keep Malleus at arms length because of their roles. Malleus having to know someone who was presumably initially very cold and softened only as he was growing older while Silver had a very openly loving father immediately. Malleus being the child who taught Lilia how to parent and love. Malleus never feeling like Lilia truly loved him after seeing how he was able to love Silver. Malleus loving Silver because they're brothers and at the same time resenting him for having the father he always wanted.
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst spoilers#am I projecting? yeah definitely#but honestly I feel like it could be really interesting in relationship to how Silver and Malleus perceive each other#what I hate is when people make Malleus ridiculously jealous of Silver though#like do I think Malleus resents the relationship between Silver and Lilia to an extent?#DEFINITELY! But again TO AN EXTENT#Malleus isn't going to hate Silver for this lol he knows that doesn't make sense#he still loves his brother yk#but yeah Malleus not being able to openly experience love and then Silver receiving allat has got to sting#his role as prince determines he will always be held at a distance from his world and that's best conveyed thru his relationships with dias#especially as a child with lilia#anyways I also dislike Maleficia and the BV senate because it's definitely their fault such roles even exist between Malle and everyone#okay that's. ramble done.#twst malleus#malleus draconia#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia
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...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?
(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:
They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck
that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.
the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)
#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#re: the amygdala thing -- that's what I thought when I first read it but I was listening to a podcast that didn't mention anything about it#and now I'm gently double-guessing myself harrow style haha#I think the greek word also means tonsil (thus the tonsil stones in bloodborne)?#the amygdala does a lot of shit around emotions and emotional processing which like. ok interesting ianthe wtf!#god. what a weird day it's been. you think you're at rock bottom and then you're having wild unhinged thoughts about ianthe tridentarius#my brain feels like it's filled with stinging nettles idk if this is even coherent. but I need it out of my neurons lol#the locked tomb meta#I could not recommend 'prism' enough btw it's a beautiful poem and has a lot of the same themes as tlt!
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Congrats on the 300 followers Vien! for the event:
"They were there, you weren't" + "What keeps you up at night?"
Embracing Faded Pages of Tainted Saints
300 Followers Event
Warnings: Mentions of past physical injuries
Tags: Alastor x reader, gn reader, relationship can be read in any way
MDNI
You stood awkwardly at the doorstep of the new hotel, unsure exactly of what to do next.
You knew there was a chance he'd be the one to open the door and greet you, but truth be told you were hoping otherwise. You thought you had worked through all your emotions about him years ago; but standing in front of him now, you realized that was far from the case.
You felt a surge of pressure almost squeezing at your heart, but you tried your best to ignore it as you offered Alastor a small smile.
"Hey, Al. Long time no see." You tried for casual, despite the way things ended the last time you were together.
"How are you—" Al finally spoke, his grin tight as his eyes narrowed at you.
A bright, bubbly woman shoved her way to the door, effectively cutting off whatever Alastor was going to say.
She grabbed you by your hands, and you did your best to shift your focus to her. You listened, responded, and tried very hard to ignore Alastor's burning gaze on you.
You were very swiftly taken into the hotel lobby, brushing right past the tall man. You were introduced to the staff and guests alike, and you painted your best smile as the blonde host swept you here and there. You merely tried to swallow past the lump at your throat as you greeted everyone.
You heard this place offered a chance at redemption, as well as some sort of protection from all the horrors Hell had to offer. You thought it was worth it, that the solace you could find in here would greatly outweigh having to be near Alastor again.
But his mere presence, just knowing that he was in the same room as you again, was already eating at you—suffocating you.
It was like you could feel the sharp stabbing pain across your gut again. The blood—the life—leaking out of you. The desperation crushing your heart.
"I'll take it from here, Charlie, dear." You heard his voice before you felt a heavy hand at the small of your back. "This lovely demon seems to be a little bit overwhelmed. They can do with some rest, don't you think?"
The bright blonde agreed easily, allowing Alastor to quickly guide you along the halls of the hotel and away from all the excited chatter.
"You're alive." Alastor stated, his eyes set ahead of himself as he walked beside you. His hand had retracted from your body, now resting behind his back.
No thanks to you.
"Nope, still dead." You tried to joke, a soft, fleeting attempt at a laugh following it. But you stopped immediately when you realized that, despite his wide smile, Alastor didn't seem to be in the mood for jokes.
"You were bleeding heavily." He said instead.
You tried to keep your responses vague. "Yes, I...I remember."
You've thought about it many times over since your near-second-death experience. How Alastor had always been a dear friend of yours, through life on earth and Hell. How you both knew you were helpless at that time. How it was perfectly normal for him to choose to save himself instead.
You've forgiven him, at least that's what you told yourself. You still saw him as a friend, even after he abandoned you—and that's why you would never let him find out about your betrayal.
You could never hurt him like that.
You thought that this was all so crystal clear to you. That you've long healed this wound, but evidently that wasn't the case.
Just seeing him now. So well poised, so put together, cozying it up with the Princess of Hell. His smile was as you remembered it, and not a hair was misplaced on his head.
He had continued on like nothing happened, like he didn't once leave you to die.
And there was that awful, bitter, anger slowly filling your chest. That nauseating feeling of betrayal that twisted your gut. No matter how hard you tried to stick to reason, to remember all you've resolved in the past years, you just couldn't help but hate how he was able to move on so easily.
The rest of your time heading to your room was silent. Just a constant soft static noise following your steps. You spent that time fighting your base instincts to just jump him, throttle his neck, scream at him.
How could you? How could you just leave me to die like that?
Alastor finally halted by a door, his clawed hand turned the knob and ushered you in.
You looked up at him, smiling once more as you tried to hold onto your more logical side. "I don't know how I feel about you having keys to my room." You try to joke again.
Oh did you miss the times when the two of you wasted hours in hysterics; just exchanging the dumbest jokes you could think of.
But that felt like almost two lifetimes ago.
"This is my room." Alastor clarified.
"Well that explains the swamp." You say bluntly. You walked slowly in, not exactly knowing what you were doing here now.
"I thought we could sit down for some coffee—" Alastor said, closing the door behind him. His hands reached for a coffee pot, but paused before he could reach the handle. "No no, this definitely calls for something much stronger."
He sat down on one of the seats by the fireplace, easily summoning two small glasses and a bottle of rye on the table.
You watched him tentatively, heart tightening at the familiar sight.
There was once a time when nights like this was something you looked forward to—but it didn't seem that way anymore.
Your eyes couldn't help but narrow at how well off he looked. It's like nothing had changed for him at all.
You attempted to be civil, still, and made your way to sit across him. It's was stupid to hold a grudge against him for something like that. What he did made sense, and you shouldn't be mad about it.
Your eyes scanned the knickknacks scattered about his shelves and walls, eyes catching on a wide set of antlers mounted high above.
"That yours or a friend's?" You once again tried to lighten the mood. Whether it was for your sake or Alastor's, you weren't sure.
"We both know I've never been one for small talk, dear." Alastor said, pouring alcohol in your glass before his. He easily downs the drink he poured himself before filling it up again. "How are you alive?" His head tilted.
The moment the words left his mouth it felt like someone emptied a bucket of ice water over you.
The question simply came out of nowhere. Sure you had expected him to ask sooner rather than later, but to jump right to it?
Your half-assed smile dropped just a fraction of a bit.
Looking up at your old friend, the ever charming, ever present smile, you realized that perhaps you were being stupid—and not for the reason you originally thought.
You've been friends with this man since either of you could walk, friends through his stupid murder fixation, friends through his takeover of Hell.
But he left you for dead.
He finally found out that you survived and the first thing out of his mouth was an interrogation?
Where was your fucking apology?
So maybe, just maybe, you've been stupid this entire time. That you didn't need to be making excuses for him. That you didn't need to forgive him. That maybe your anger, your want to hurt him back, was more than valid.
You picked up your own glass and downed its contents in one go, relishing in the familiar bitter taste.
"There's no bed." You noted instead of answering your old friend, your grip was tight around the glass you held. "Where do you sleep?"
"I don't." Alastor answered simply. He moved only to fill up your glass again, but his eyes never strayed from you.
You weren't sure how much truth there was behind his words. Sinners still slept, and no matter how highly Alastor thought of himself, he still functioned the same way the rest of you do.
"What keeps you up at night, then?" You couldn't help but ask.
Perhaps it was an attempt to piss him off. Make small talk, delay from giving him answers.
But as much as you hated to admit it, it was likely because there was an answer you wanted to hear. One caused by that part of you that still hoped for your old friend to show you even just a hint of a conscience.
Perhaps if he gave you that, it would be enough for you to hold onto civility. It would be enough for your to at least honor what past friendship you had with him.
"Nothing in particular, really." Alastor glanced away from you, downing his drink once more. "There's just no rest for the wicked, isn't that what they say?"
You followed his lead, throwing your head back and letting the alcohol burn its way down your throat.
It almost felt like old times when you'd compete with him in old dingy bars.
"Ah, I figured you wouldn't be hung up on it." You held your empty glass in your hands, a finger unconsciously caressing its cool surface.
"My bad, dear." Alastor gave you a faux look of guilt, but the mockery that dripped from his tone easily gave it away. "Did you want me to mourn you for a couple decades?"
You rolled your eyes. "Considering everything we've been through, I'd have expected at least a few years."
You noticed Alastor fill his glass up again, he knocked it back just as quickly as the previous ones.
You both looked like you were drinking your problems away, but it seemed like this was more of a habit. One formed through a lifetime of repetitions.
"I can start now if you'd like." Alastor smiled at you.
Your brows raised. "I am very clearly not dead."
"You might be soon." The static in his voice was heavier, and for a split second you could have sworn his pupils changed to dials.
Your fingers stilled against the glass you held, feeling your skin prickle at the silence that followed.
The wood in the fireplace crackled, and the eerie light coming from the green flames added just a tinge more terror to your situation.
Or it would have if the only emotion you felt wasn't an all consuming rage.
The clear threat hung in the air for a second before Alastor spoke again. "So tell me,"
How long have you been alive?
Why didn't you tell me?
"How are you alive?" He said.
You had no idea why on earth he was angry. What gave him the right?
"We both know the answer to that already, don't we?" Your own smile tightened, teeth clenched hard to keep yourself from growling at him.
You tried to stomp out your anger, but every time you tried to reason that he used to be a friend, you couldn't help but be brought back to that time.
Lying in a pool of warm blood—your own blood. Seeing the exorcists flying down to you, racing to see who could kill you first. Turning your head, using the very last of your strength to reach out to your friend. Watching him stand from your side and melting away into shadows without you.
"Well yes, a deal, of course. But with whom? Not many demons down in this festering tar pit have that much power. You were practically gone, dear."
Ah, so it was a pride thing, you thought. He was bothered that there was someone who could do what he couldn't.
You couldn't hold back from scoffing. "And did that ever bother you? That I was practically gone?"
He paused. The sound of static grew messier for a few seconds before Alastor gave up on his glass entirely. He opted to just grab the bottle by its neck and drank from it.
"You seem like you were hoping it did." He teased as he set the bottle down back on the table. "Shouldn't a good friend be happy I wasn't suffering?"
Your heart clenched, eyes narrowed. The both of you have danced around it this entire time, but it just seemed like there was no longer any way to stop the words as they finally slipped from your mouth.
"Shouldn't a good friend try everything to save the other?"
The accusation, the betrayal, the bitterness, finally dripped like venom from your question.
A heavy tension covered both of you once more. The elephant in the room finally addressed properly, but it seemed neither of you knew what to do with it now.
A beat of silence.
"Then, it looks like we're both such terrible friends." Alastor said, as he sunk back into his chair. You hadn't noticed the tension in his body this entire time, you weren't sure if Alastor himself noticed it either.
But as he rested his head behind him, you noticed something you failed to before now.
He looked...exhausted. His smile was in place, his hair neat, his suit wrinkle free. He looked as perfect as ever; but he looked tired.
You were sure you didn't look any more chipper currently.
You tore your eyes away from the demon that sat across you. "It's been a long night."
"It's been twenty minutes." There was finally a hint of genuine amusement in his tone, but it felt strained.
Like it slipped before he could stop it, a habit formed through decades of banter.
"Twenty too many around you." You simply shut it down.
Still, not one apology. Did he even regret it?
You felt so confused, so conflicted, so angry, and you knew you just had to leave before you did something you would regret later on—whatever that may be.
He looked like he wanted to say something as you got up, but he chose to bring the bottle of alcohol to his lips instead.
It was only when your hand landed on the door handle did he speak. "I would do it again."
It felt like a light went out inside you somewhere.
You didn't turn around.
"I would leave you to die—over and over." Alastor's floaty voice continued. "You were a good friend, but not great enough for me to risk my own skin."
You've known your friend to be quite the liar. He knew what to say and when to say it, and he lived to crawl under people's skin and piss them off.
But at that moment, you knew it was one of the rare few instances where Alastor was honest.
"It seemed like you wanted to know." His normally mocking voice seemed softer. Like it really was just a fact and nothing more.
"The V's were there when you weren't." You found yourself saying. You turned your head to the side just a tiny bit, but still didn't turn to look at him.
The lights flickered and your hand closed around the handle of the door.
"I made a deal with the V's. Everything about you and more, in exchange for my life." You continued, almost unable to stop the words from coming out, really.
"Your defeat seven years ago was my doing."
You really were terrible friends.
"It seemed like you wanted to know, old pal."
You left his room just as the lights fully went out.
#tw: physical injuries#friendly reminder this event has closed#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin alastor x reader#alastor#alastor x reader#vien writes#follower event#we went for emotional pain this time around#more subtle than outright choking the man but I feel like having a dear friend betray him as much as he betrayed them would sting a lot mor#i am firm believer that alastor CAN care if he wanted to#but i must admit i made him a tiny bit ooc here bc i had to tone down his sillies for the mood
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thinking abt merlin through the ages contending with the fact that arthur is still so present in the land. in mythology in legend in fairytales told to children in books and films and countless other forms of memory. throughout the world he is remembered still, and yes it isn't really him they're remembering, it's the legend of him, the myth, the heroic fool's gold shimmer of his legacy. but he's still here.
#bbc merlin#merthur#arthur pendragon#forever crazy abt these two. it's abt stories it's about narrative shapes it's abt the weight of legend! it's abt love reworking history!#it's abt the death of someone u loved being retold over and over and over down through centuries of time and never once losing its sting#it's abt fate! destiny! t h white's the once and future king being released in merlin's lifetime and disney making it into a film!#arthuriana AS A CONCEPT. merlin has to contend with arthur - his life his death his everything in between - being a whole area of study!#idk man i think we should have more conversations abt how insane merlin would be after 1500+ years. give me unhinged and borderline derange#NOT TO MENTION the morgana of it all!!! morgan le fay who in common legend SLEPT WITH ARTHUR and conceived mordred by him#who started that legend????????????? more importantly was merlin LIVING IN A CAVE when it began like ur telling me he didn't kill the guy?
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Thinking about “Alvin” having to listen to Gwen go on about Stephanie and not being able to acknowledge the fact the he knows
He remembers
All her fun little date night ideas
The quirks in her speech patterns
Her favorite show she rambles on about
The coverups she uses for her vigilante life
He knows all of it and remembers it all from both when they were dating and when they were friends and he just. Can’t. Say. Anything.
Im a strong believer in (because Canon fucked up why Steph and Tim broke up) they were dating and then realized they loved eachother, but werent good for eachother as partners-
So they split and stayed friends, but they still had that itimacy that pushed them past most friends because of what they HAD been.
If Steph remembered him, it would be the same way. But now, he has no grounds other than to hint stuff to Gwen whose accepted Alan has a "knack for knowing things"
#hes happy for steph#just like he was the first time#it more stings#that he doesnt know HER anymore#and she has no idea who he is#that they never were#and never will be#outside his memories#the drakes spoiled brat#stephanie brown#gwen parkins#tim drake#sunny asks#ty for the ask!!
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Small question, does it have to be Gotham for Cass? There's charas like Dick that can go establish their identity in a different city. Then there's Bruce, Steph, Jason and Duke who are so intrinsically tied to Gotham that this has to be the city for them. Where does Cass lie on this spectrum? Tq!
EXCELLENT question. I think Cass' situation is somewhat unique because of the way her character was handled post-Batgirl (2000).
In favour of Cass not staying in Gotham, she doesn't have the same emotional connection to Gotham as the four people you listed. She wasn't raised there, and in Batgirl (2000), she has next to no ties to Gotham civilians. In fact, it's when she moves to Bludhaven in Gabrych's run that she gains her first civilian friend and civilian love interest. The iconic volving panel is from Bludhaven, too. It's undeniable that the distance from Gotham, from Bruce (and arguably Babs), helps her grow:
Batgirl (2000) #71
It can't be overstated how important ownership is to Cass. To own something means, necessarily, that you not an object. You are a person who something belongs to, and who belongs to something. By calling Bludhaven the "first place that's ever been... mine," she's explicitly saying that Gotham was not hers. Bludhaven was the first place that made her feel fully human.
But there are caveats to this. Cass goes to Bludhaven in the wake of Stephanie's death, a Gothamite through and through. It's probable that Steph's death colours her view of Gotham here, and her willingness to embrace Bludhaven is in response to the pain that Gotham now brings her. (This is also after Babs calls Cass stupid). Feeling like Gotham doesn't belong to her might stem from these specific circumstances, and not be applicable in current canon.
Still, if the story had ended there, I'd say Cass doesn't need to stay in Gotham. Unfortunately, it doesn't.
Red Robin (2009) #17
After Bruce's death, Cass goes to Hong Kong. Well, 'goes' is putting it nicely. She was written off to make Steph Batgirl, which resulted in Cass a) not appearing in most comics, b) being stripped of the bat symbol, and c) being isolated from everyone she cares about, besides Tim. It's a horrific and undeserved fate, reversing everything Cass' story once stood for (narrative agency; becoming a hero; finding a family).
Though Cass regains the symbol and becomes the Bat of Hong Kong, she is no longer part of the narrative; her distance from Gotham became a representation of her distance from narrative importance. That's the real danger of Cass leaving Gotham - unlike Dick, who is a big enough character to be guaranteed solos in Blud, Cass leaving Gotham will forever hold the threat of erasure.
I'm discussing this in a meta-textual sense, but textually Cass knows the danger too.
Gates of Gotham #5
Here, Cass rebuffs Dick's assertion that Gotham will never keep either of them because they don't belong. She says, "It's about how you choose to see the world. Everything else is just an excuse." She's repudiating multiple things: editorial's decision to boot her from Gotham; Bruce's decision to take Batgirl away; even, somewhat, Dick's ascension to the Bat mantle when she wasn't given a chance.
This is ultimately why, though Cass could work elsewhere, I think she should work in Gotham. It's the place she ran to after David Cain, the place she chose to stay in, and the place that gave her Batgirl. Most importantly, it's the place that rejected her. It's not about Gotham itself - It's about how she was ejected from it, and how she fought her way back, over and over again. Cass staying in Gotham ensures history doesn't repeat itself. It rewards Cass fans who survived OYL, Batman Inc, and New 52 with the light at the end of the tunnel.
This is just my opinion! I do love her stint in Bludhaven, so I understand other people preferring her elsewhere. Just for me, she may not belong to Gotham in the way Bruce, Steph, Duke, Jay, or Babs does, but she deserves to be there.
#cassandra cain#ask#gotham#batman#batgirl#i hope this answered your question#cass has spent comparatively so little of her history in gotham for a gotham character because she was constantly mistreated#i think she deserves to make a home there#i also think the line 'family is not home' from red robin 17 is incredibly bittersweet#nicieza was trying his best but for a character like cass to just be separated from her family like that? to be so utterly alone?#to be so divorced from the agency and narrative focus that defined her run as batgirl?#it stings so bad#anyway if new batgirl solo introduces a new city i'm all for it since she's the main character and it's not erasure at all#but we haven't even scratched the surface of all her gotham stories yet so#let her be the bat of gotham!
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wild to scroll down on a video from one of my favourite video essayists to see a comment from one of my favourite gamers
#but oh boy yeah im watching hbomberguy's video and. it does sting a bit#i wasnt a massive fan or anything but i was subscribed and enjoyed the videos#ouch.#but to this actual post........ like tbf harris has done gaming videos and is Best Known (probably) for a gaming event so there's overlap#and oh. yeah 4 hrs is really about 25% of a typical day (in terms of waking hrs). ive never had it put into perspective like that lmaooo#personal#im gonna spoil who the video is about here so if you want to watch it without knowing stop reading here#but i think it's an important watch if you're a james somerton viewer
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"what if i took your call as more than just a call" but make it joel about etho finally talking to him in secret life
#gosh i love gracie abrams#i feel like this song is just very them coded in general#but ESPECIALLY in secret life#because etho doesn't rlly talk to joel in limited life/after double life and god that must sting!!!!!#but then in secret life he seems to have an entire change of heart ...#and joel Knows it's probably because the situation has been left in the past he's moved on#but there's also a part of him that's looking at ethos actions at his words Very Carefully#is what he says what he means? is this some special message meant for me? is this perfectly simple and regular interaction More?????#GOD#is this even anything. does anyone even see the vision#nya talks#trafficblr#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#boat boys#smalletho#ethoslab
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I feel like I can't seem to make anything proper again, just another little crisis so have those random doodles and whenever I'm there mentally again I keep worrying way too much and trying to not think I'm annoying with my character stuff sorry for the semi vent, but somehow this week's been weird private matter wise😭
Gabs might also have to make it clear she's no nurse, that she's only capable of basic things+ stitching, but she'd aid grunts and other expop who got friendly fire'd immediately if needed. With primes she's a bit hesitant but gets the job done. One time she wouldn't care about anything is if pulling sleeves or pant legs up too high cuts blood circulation after a while as she refuses to cut the fabric to have it go up better. You gotta endure it once it's done
Also screw yall/j *genderbends the prime asset as a excuse to draw these suit sets*
#outlast trials#outlast#mother gooseberry#dr futterman#leland coyle#franco barbi#gabriella garland#outlast trials oc#to excuse me messing scaling up I'd say Franco goes on tip toes sometimes just to spite Gabby and make her feel even smaller than she is#she still gets the human raggedy ann/teddy treatment too tbh#she does not like being used as a portable headrest just for the good height she has for it#for having hair#and for smelling flowery or powdery with a slightly stinging iron scent due to the nosebleeds and such
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the coolest kids in forgotten valley!!☆
(…it seems there may have been a stretch of time where rock and lumina were the only kids in forgotten valley…🥲)
poseref
#in the remake hugh and the player’s kid are the same number of years apart#so i can see them having very similar conversations n friendship#surely these two kids will grow up well adjusted and they will have no lasting effects from this kind of isolation. they will be fine#i have been thinking a lot about what their childhoods were like. i want to protect both of them#everyone who has anything to say about them as kids says that both of them were not well behaved children at all#tei says rock was rambunctious and energetic and hard to handle. sebastian says lumina was less than amenable#rock says he was bored to death when he first came here and lumina asks you not to tell romana that she’s lonely#lumina also hated wearing dresses so. she is very mad and ready to bite people maybe#sos awl#bokumono#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#harvest moon#story of seasons#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokujou monogatari#i like to imagine a au where pony and cecilia come to visit their family’s respective farms#so these two can have more friends ;w;#i am always thinking about how they were both severed from their families and taken in by someone else at a young age to live in nowhere#and they are both not exactly enthused about following the path laid out for them#headcanon ⚠️ i wonder if rock’s moving out on his own happened when he was a teenager. he was extremely confident everything would work out#anyway he got fired from every job ever and after many years came crawling back. and he came crawling back blond#at the time of chapter 1 lumina is baffled by the state of the guy she grew up with. why is he using dated slang and wearing disco costume#she is also kind of mad at him for having been gone for so long#hc rock probably had more freedom as a kid than lumina did which probably annoyed her#once again takakura retrieves a small rock from the goddess pond and he’s covered in poison ivy bee stings etc. no remorse#lumina from her window on the hill feels somehow jealous of these misadventures#lumina mentions in her heart event that she doesn’t often visit the beach because her skin burns easily#meanwhile rock was probably playing outside always. if his kid is any indication#idk i like thinking about the history of this extremely small village
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So I learned something a while back that I’m surprised I didn’t learn earlier:
Pyrography fades considerably in even bright indoor lighting: specifically, gallery lighting. Doesn’t even need to be sunlight, I guess any intense sunlight within the span of a year will drastically lighten the burned in marks.
So this piece suffered after its time on display, and it was only today that I set about trying to remedy it by going back in and darkening the tones and deepening the outlines. The final resting place of this piece will have to be a more dimly lit wall or corner until I can think of some good archival method that won’t crack or discolor over time.
The top of the piece has yet to be touched; you can see the contrast with where I’ve been working in the middle/bottom.
#pyrography#work in progress#wood burning#deer#white tailed deer#moose#woodland caribou#cervine#forest#woodland#forest succession#gallery work#traditional media#traditional art#colwood detailer wood burning unit#basswood#kinda therapeutic but the stinging eyes from the smoke is less so#need to draw with fire more#this tool has been such a game changer for my pyrography#like woooo! I can change out the tips and change the temp?#must acquire more scrap wood to play with
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patting out the details of my Edling fic where I'm still settling on everyone's adult heights but I think I'm going to go with this version
#height comparison .com has these super details avatars i never knew about#so of course i did that to lan fan#she's the best so she deserves it#fmab#edward elric#alphonse elric#ling yao#lan fan#edling#my children#also yes ling is a tall sting bean freak of nature#especially for like the early 1900s
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Sometimes I am reminded of the fact that Iorveth just like canonically has very pretty eyes (or very pretty eye 😔).
In TW2, none of the men have eyelashes while the women do. As examples for the men, we have Geralt himself, Letho, Dandelion, and Roche:
And as examples for the women, Triss, Saskia, Sheala/Síle, Philippa, and Mottle.
However, Iorveth does have eyelashes on his in-game model:
This is unique to him, not an elven trait, because as we can see on Cedric, Ciaran, and Ele'yas, they don't have eyelashes like Iorveth does:
And it's not a fluke or graphical glitch on Iorveth, either, he consistently has them throughout the game:
He's just really pretty like that.
#rambles#the witcher#the witcher games#iorveth#catch me looking at insignificant details because i spend too long staring at elves#yaevinn pencils his brows and iorveth has really nice lashes#and like on a character analysis level that is very interesting#not only was his eye something vital to him#he's an archer#he needs his vision#he would have had to relearn how to shoot with this impairment to his depth perception#but not only for it to be a practical thing#it's also like#something about him that is markedly beautiful#only to be bespoiled by the dh'oine#everything elven and beautiful must be tarnished by human hands#and so they took his eye#not that i think iorveth is particularly vain#but he is still proud in his own way#and it must sting to lose a point of pride#his marksmanship and his beauty both marred by the dh'oine#he's still very striking and he can still shoot a bow so it cannot be said that these things were 'ruined'#but it's just kind of adding insult to injury#as it were
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I feel so itchy and skin crawly looking at this picture
Like that is Eddie covered in bees (shudder) I’m assuming during the call at the perfume launch thingy where we’ve seen him running with his bee net on!
It’s also making my brain itch!!
#Eddie covered in bees like that is making me itchy#but also - the metaphor is not lost on me#actually there are several metaphors#the idea of being covered in bees and thus being stung repeatedly - much like Eddie has been stung repeatedly by life#the idea that bees only sting when under threat - Eddie blowing up his life could be seen as him stinging because he feels under threat#in part because of his familbut mostly from himself - his subconscious is fighting against him - related to his dawning queer awakening#plus there is also the fact that the reaction to being stung is a delayed one - yes you might feel the initial sting#but the reaction develops over time as the body reacts and tries to expel or neutralise the bee venom#this is a massive metaphor for Eddie - the delayed reactions he’s had to many things in his life but in particular to buck coming out as bi#he felt the initial sting but claimed it wouldn’t change anything only now he’s reacting to that sting - the swelling and pain is happening#and that will lead to recovery - it all plays into the queer Eddie narrative very nicely#because when you get stung by a bee you think it won’t be that bad - but it’s always worse and more itchy than you think#I’m not being remotely coherent about this at all#I might come back to it tomorrow!#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#911 abc#bee theory
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my dad was on his best behavior tonight. i met him and his new wife. he has a white beard now and looks like every grizzled fisherman in an old sea myth. it was awkward but my siblings carried the conversation (as i was typing that sentence, my sister called to debrief and said "yeah, that was my goal, just to keep talking.") my dad's new wife repeatedly hassled both of my siblings about settling down and having kids, but left me alone, presumably because i'm Butch Dyke. my brother mentioned doing volunteer work with foreign students at college and she went, "oh, are they illegals?" which was the only really nasty reminder of Who These People Are. then when my brother said he'd been talking to a friend, she went, "oh, a giiiiirl?" and he got the meanest look on his face and flatly went, "no. they're nonbinary." truly taking one for the team in terms of being the most problematic one at the dinner table.
dad told several stories about when i was in elementary school, since that's the last time i was his daughter. he reminded me that a lot of who i am now comes directly from him in ways that aren't Always bad. he was the one who told me to beat the shit out of anyone who harassed me or my friends. he was the one who taught me how to fight. he was the one who impressed upon me that i'm ruthless before i'm ever a woman, however much he may regret that now.
i put on my best high-pitched all-american cheerleader appeasement voice for all of dinner, and his wife said, "oh, you sound just like your mother! your voice.... it's so strange" thank you ma'am. it's because my mother and i both know how to win.
#racism#just in case#i'm seeing him One more time before i go. for my sister's birthday dinner#but like i said. my sister is VERY skilled at keeping a conversation going. god fucking bless her.#this is actually a pretty positive post. i wanted him to behave and he did. i wanted his wife to behave and she did. mostly.#my siblings are both irritated about the grandkids thing -- my sister especially#because she lives independently and has a fabulous career and is killing it in life#and she'll never be good enough for them as long as she doesn't have a husband and child.#i got that lecture over a decade ago when i told dad i'm a lesbian. so it doesn't sting me anymore.
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