#but like again I'd like it acknowledged slightly but that's just me. i at least appreciate all the affection his current writer-

[gothic-thoughts]

Scariest Promotion Ever

(im tired of hiding my love for him yall, Im coming out as a slasher lover)

Michael Myers x Black Fem Reader Fluff

MeetCute(?), Nurse!Reader, AsylumPatient!Michael

Part 2: Here

CW: Your first time meeting Michael and his threatening ass aura in person, hair pulling, fear, crying

Word Count: 1489 (give or take)

The guards opened the door and moved aside for me to enter but I was frozen. They looked at me expectantly, but all I could do was clutch my clipboard to my chest and tremble as my eyes search the dark room for the patient I was supposed to be watching. I look back at the guards, voice shaking. 

“W-why did the last nurse quit again...?”

The guards look at each other a little worried then back at me.

“Quit?” One asked.

“They... told me she quit.”

“Uh, sure... Technically she did "quit" the job... forever...”

“...What...?”

“He, uh...” The other guard joined in, “He didn't like her I guess.”

“They usually last a whole lot longer than she did. She was so scared of him that she barely spoke to him and...”

I gulp thickly, “And...?”

“He strangled her... before he removed her face...”

I gasp, turning to look back into the dimness of Michael’s room, the only light being the gloomy sunlight seeping through the barred window on the other side of the area. My breath catches in my throat and my stomach burns and bubbles with fear. The guards assured me that the door would stay open now when nurses visit him specifically because of the incident, hoping that I'd calm down.

But of course, my only thought was to make sure I talked to him.

I hesitantly step over the threshold of his doorway with the 2 guards remaining just outside to monitor me— or rather, monitor Michael Myers, making sure he doesn't kill me or at the very least become violent. His room is cold, dark, and... full of masks. I examine the few that I could see with the sun pouring in through the window before scanning the dark side of the room until my eyes lay on the eerily still figure sitting on the bed against the opposite wall. I gulp softly, swallowing my vomit at the stomach-tightening realization that he was most likely watching me since the door opened.

“Uh... H-hi Michael...”

No words. I couldn’t even see him blink because of that orange papier-mâché mask he was wearing. The only way I knew he was even alive was the slow rise and fall of his broad chest. His masked face never moved or turned, it stayed focused on me— analyzing me— before his head slightly tilted to the right. After a few more seconds of deafening silence, Michael slowly stands up, making my eyes drift upwards to watch him essentially grow until he’s standing at 6’9” making me realize another thing my boss left out about him— his fucking height.

“Wow... Um, I-I'm your n-new nurse... I'm just here to watch you and... a-and...”

When he begins to walk it scares a sharp gasp out of me, which he didn’t even acknowledge. His steps are heavy and threateningly slow so I back away at the same pace, hoping to somehow get to the door before he could hurt me. That’s when I heard the door slam with a small, muffled apology thrown my way; something about not wanting him to get out.

I shake, forcing myself to calm down enough until I feel the door against my back. Michael continues to get closer, towering over me as he is practically trapping me against the door, and he still hasn’t said a word. I flinch away, shut my eyes, and hold my clipboard in front of my face as some wack form of protection for it only for it to be ripped from my hands and tossed across the room with a clatter.

I yelp, tears brimming my eyes as I reach back and paw at the door, looking for the handle but Michael’s head tilts, an indication that he caught on before he swiftly grabs my wrist with one of his huge hands causing a terrified shriek to leave my lips. The guards bang on the door and call his name, trying to get his attention.

“Michael!” One called, "Michael stop!"

“Michael, get away from the door and leave her alone!”

“She’s just here to help you!”

“You gotta give her a chance!”

He still hasn’t spoken, just remained eerily still as he looked down at my tear-streaked face. After a few seconds, his free hand grabs the couple of box braids in front of my face tightly, fingers slowly rubbing up and down the duo-colored strands. I wince at the slight pain and shock before I look up at him with pleading eyes and hushed whimpers. He slowly lifts the braids higher to his face before letting them slip through his fingers to fall back to my chest. He firmly grabs them and lifts them again, the tautness in my scalp causing me to move closer to him in hopes of relieving it. I sniffle, watching him with confusion.

“Y-you like them..?”

No words— I don’t even think he heard me, but he keeps threading the thin, silky strands through his thick fingers. He suddenly yanks them to bring them closer.

“Agh!” I swat his hand away with my free hand, “That hurts!”

His hand suddenly stops moving and I begin crying again, trying to step back as my brain swirls with regret as I realize what I did. He suddenly encloses the 4 braids in a giant fist and tightens his hand on my wrist as I start to sob softly.

“No no no no no, okay... I'm sorry, okay?” I whimper, gasping for air, “I'm sorry, I’m so sorry... It was just instinct 'cause it hurt... y-you have to be gentle if you like them...”

He grunts under his mask then opens his fist, letting my braids drape over his index finger as he strokes it gently with his thumb. My eyes widen slightly; he actually listened.

“Y-yeah... Yeah, like that... There you go...”

He gently continues to run his fingers over the hair, letting out a much softer huff.

“U-um...” I wipe my tears, trying to stay calm, “They're called box braids... they're braided into my h-hair to protect it... A-and sometimes... it's a little tight on my scalp so it hurts when it’s pulled... that's why I swatted you... it was an instinct, I’m sorry...”

His head nods so slightly that I almost didn’t notice. He was listening to me... and he seemed to be following instructions. I continue to look up at his orange mask, my eyes occasionally drifting back to his large fingers playing with the four braids. I looked into the eyeholes of the mask in an attempt to see what his eyes looked like since his body language was much calmer now, meaning that hopefully, he was less likely to react. His eyes suddenly snap to mine, the cold, pale blue irises sending a chill through my body. Michael huffs heavily again, his fingers slowly leaving the braids to which I let out a sigh of relief.

“Uh, it's time for lunch... A-are you hungry?”

His head tilted before he released my wrist and backed up so I took it as a yes and slowly stepped out of the way of the door as I opened it, allowing him to step out with slow, heavy steps that made the guards back up and rest their hands over their tasers. But he just stands there, towering over us and staring down at me. Even when the guards call for him, he remains still. Eerily still. I look at the two guards, then back at the 6’9” killer, wondering why he opted to stare at me instead of walking with them.

“Um... Michael... I thought you were hungry.”

Silence. He steps a little closer to me.

“O-oh... Oh, you're following me...?”

A subtle nod is all it took for my body to completely relax at the realization that he liked me— or at least a whole lot more than his last nurse. I start slowly walking down the hall, looking over my shoulder to see Michael’s shaggy form following me like a big, dangerous shadow. His weight made his steps echo and his long legs made his stride much longer putting him surprisingly close behind. My eyes flickered back to him often, making sure he wasn't gonna get randomly violent as I tried to stay calm, knowing his eyes were on me the whole way behind that mask. Every step felt like he was getting closer.

Eventually, I arrive at a big cafeteria room, with many other patients eating their food at the tables before the guards take over my leadership role and guide Michael to the corner of the cafeteria to a secluded, metal room. They open the doors and Michael enters silently before sitting his imposing figure down at the table, huge legs spread wide for comfort as he settles in front of the food.

But he doesn’t make a move to eat it. He just continued to stare at me through the reinforced plastic of the window on the door, watching me, his eyes through the mask never wavering. I think he likes me more than I thought.

[pistol-grippump]

->

People shit on Dylan and Eric's "cringe" journal entries a lot (so much that I see, at least.) and sure, you can find a way to understand simply why. Their wording, and especially some of the things they were writing about could be seen modernly as "cringe" but I feel like if some people took a second to understand what they meant on a slightly deeper level than people try to, it's really easy to look past the cringe and see their plain and utter disconnection.

I know I talk so much about feeling some sort of connection with Dylan especially and of course, that's because there's more to work with for him. (No surprise, it's easily acknowledged that Eric got swept over almost completely by the people it mattered to as the "bad guy", especially doesn't help that his parents didn't try to salvage anything left of him or his personality after the shooting to my knowledge.)

Something I find especially interesting is when Dylan refers to his "human form", which on the surface, sounds like a teenager being a teenager, but it's obvious (being followed by the multiple other disturbed things in his head and the shooting of course,) that it was more than him trying to be edgy. The way I see it, as said earlier, I see it as a disconnect from himself. Whether he truly believed the literal meaning of the things he said or whether they were just things thrown together the best he could, understanding just quite what he meant from all angles is important I think.

Interpretation in these situations are especially relevant under every circumstance, of course, it's not what they aim for when investigating these kinds of things (since factual information will always be more effective.) but now that the case is over two decades old, I'm not sure it matters anymore, so this is my interpretation:

I haven't read every piece of Dylan's journals that have been released due to not being able to find it (/found it once and never again) or easily forgetting what he was saying due to it being either irrelevant or completely forgettable. This is contrary to my last writing I think where I mentioned that both Eric and Dylan's diary entries are close to home for me to understand who they were "beyond being a profile of violence", but sometimes it feels like they were just saying a whole lot of nothing.

The first couple pages I found to read just expressed his continuous suicidal tendencies, talking about himself in third person, or simply just wanting someone to love and for her to love him back. I personally don't understand how someone can't feel a bit of empathy (giving you read them and don't skim over it.)

His talk about being born human while having "inability to BE human" is something I probably understood the most out of the first few submitted entries. Of course, this isn't a rant about how I think (my interpretation) he feels or me trying to be one of those retarded "headcanons" people, because it seems as if unlike a lot of people, I can't ignore the fact that they were existing people with lives and feelings they didn't know how to process (much like me and others.)

This is just me simply finding closure in some deadbeats journal from almost thirty years ago. This entire case is just insanely depressing I've noticed over my last couple years of overall research (since 2020 or 2021. Whenever SKYND came out with their columbine song. [Which was what got me into this in the first place.]) (Also, on the topic of this music video, I wrote in an entry before that they depicted Dylan doing something I described but I'd like to make an edit correction and say it was definitely Eric.) it's always been a heavy topic for obvious reasons, but deeper than the fact that it was the most notorious school shooting in America, the actual situation itself - apart from April 20th, is really heart heavy for a whole lot of reasons.

However, I feel like now I am saying a whole lot of nothing (stating the obvious.) so I'll get to what I sort of wrote this for.

The way Dylan writes his thoughts out sounds out of body. Not to diagnose anything or whatever but in my own experiences - that are very much similar to things he's written about feeling or thinking - I understand the weight of his feelings on a deeper level than most I think, which makes Dylan a sort of past embodiment, or so I kind of believe.

Even before looking into Columbine, I've always felt somewhat similar. Which is especially hard considering I was roughly at the ages of 8-12 when experiencing all these feelings on my own, even lesser advanced was still a lot to handle. The first time I felt truly suicidal, I was around eight, turning nine. I used to have this fantasy when I was Eleven that I would officially off myself on my thirteenth birthday, which was the age I was always excited to turn most. Obviously it didn't end up happening. I didn't have a plan other than the fact that I'd be dead; I didn't have a way to do so or have anything left behind in hopes of giving my family closure. I didn't want to write any notes because I just thought it would be a waste of my time and theirs to read - or to have lying around (if they kept them. Which would have been a 50/50 chance considering my family likes to run away from their problems and ignore it if they can. On the other end of the spectrum, they might have never shut up about it or let it go. I didn't want to give them something to do that with again.)

So, alas, I decided I would play it by ear until just recently where I decided that next January would be okay. I have plenty of time for prep and to possibly call it off (again.) in the rare and let's be real, almost non existent chance of "finding god" or plain just coming to my senses and realizing that its just me being a retarded teenager. Which I kind of hope it is, but then again, I haven't felt truly fulfilled or happy in almost ten years.

It feels more like survival than living, which is generic but true: I only eat enough to live, I try not to bother anyone unless I have to, I keep to myself in awful confidence that I'm able to deal with everything if I just wait it out or overly pay attention to it, and some other things that are different but will just sound like me repeating myself.

My daily routine just consists of Either staying up all night because I can't escape myself, or sleeping with no intention of getting any rest but instead just passing time. I go to school, do nearly the bare minimum enough to pass (or try.), come home, and spend all the time I can in my room. Which has become some sort of hell, might I add.

It's not even pleasant to be here anymore. It's not quiet to me anymore or any sort of safe place.

My room: the lobby of death.

That's how it feels, anyways. I know I'll die in here, and if it's not in here, it will be in an undisclosed location. (I don't want it to sound misleading, like I'm plotting some sort of revenge on anyone.)

I just want to get away from myself, I just want to finally die and get it over with - again. I feel like I'm already dead. I feel like this is how it'll be until I'm physically dead, which means it can't get any worse but it won't be better. It won't even get comfortable.

I don't even know what I'm saying. I feel like everything I say is just useless - like I'm taking up space for feeling the way I do, or I'm looking for attention. But I'm not, this is just my collection of thoughts and everything I couldn't say outloud or something.

"Human Form" is always a striking thing Dylan says because I understand so desperately what he's saying. Not that I dont think I'm a human or that I'm some extraterrestrial being (But it feels like that sometimes.) but it's just such an out of body way to explain yourself. It seems like he just doesn't want to acknowledge what he was - I wouldn't want to. If I could, I would blame it completely on what made me. But I know I can't, not when I'm actively feeding into it everyday.

Cutting this here because I know I'll just never shut up if I don't. I don't know.

[forever-rogue]

Omg for miguel requests!! Can i request one where spider-reader is very bold and always flirting with miguel and one time he flirts back and she gets super flustered and doesnt know how to respond😭

Thank you so much!! I love your writing youre so talented

AN | No, but this concept was aces! I hope you enjoy 🥰

Warnings | [Suggestive] Language

Pairing | Miguel x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Spider-Man

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You could hear his angry footsteps before anything else and you braced yourself for his fury. Instead you busied yourself with looking at your suit to make sure everything was intact…or at least pretending to do so.

"What the fuck were you thinking!?" ahh yes, there it was. He was definitely angry, but you tried to keep it cool. You weren't about to admit that he made you nervous, even if the nerves were slight. You looked up from your sleeve and blinked innocently at him, "don't do that!"

"Do what?" You kept your voice sweet and soft, "what are you talking about, Miguel?"

"You - I - you are so infuriating!" he waved his finger in front of your face and you simply shrugged, "you never listen to me! I don't know why I even let you stay on the team!"

"Oh Miguelito," you gently reached up and brushed his hand out of your face. You were well aware of what he was talking about - you'd directly gone against his orders. But, to be fair, things had turned out just fine despite choosing your own method. It wasn't like you'd fucked up some cannon event, "everything's fine and no one got hurt!"

"But you don't listen," he sighed heavily, "that's the problem. And one day, it's going to get someone hurt. I'm not going to let you do that to anyone…or yourself."

"You're so cute," a dreamy sigh escaped your lips as you touched his face, brushing your knuckles across his cheek. He lightly slapped your hand away, "but you're going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep worrying."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I," you raised your eyebrows and sighed at him, "I won't do anything bad and I'd never put anyone else in danger. You know that."

"One more fuck up from you and you're done," his voice was low and dangerous and you pulled back slightly, "I mean it. Just because you think you're so cute and charming doesn't mean I can't see right through you."

"Miguel," you looked at him with wide eyes, "I don't think I'm cute - I know I'm cute. But not as cute as you, handsome. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and make a few suit adjustments."

"This isn't over!" His cheeks darkened as he watched you walk away. 

"I'd be disappointed if it was," you gave him a small salute, "see ya, Miguelito!"

He let out a sigh of exasperation as you walked away. It was definitely a challenge not to stare at your ass but he was just a man after all. So he definitely stared at your ass.

"Stop staring," Peter popped up behind him, causing Miguel to flinch, "just tell her you're in love!"

"I'm not…" he pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm not in love with her and I'm not doing this with you right. Get back to work, Parker."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been a few days since what you had decided to dub the incident had occurred. You'd more or less ignored Miguel, deciding to let him cool down on his own terms. You missed getting to give him a hard time and missed getting to tease him as you loved. 

The thing was, you didn’t hate Miguel. It was…quite the contrary in fact. Over the last year that you’d been working for the man, or on his silly little team as you liked to tease him, you’d found yourself getting more and more attached to him. You really liked him and you weren’t shy about letting him know. You thought you were being obvious, but apparently you weren’t obvious at all because he didn’t seem to get it. Or, if he did, he really wasn’t interested and chose not to acknowledge your moves. It was Miguel though, and you were sure he would have just told you…but then again, would he have? Maybe he was just a simple-”

“What’s wrong, princess?” you started at the sound of his low, gruff voice. You hadn’t heard him sneak up and his sudden appearance almost scared you off your chair. Clutching at your heart, you looked over to see Miguel leaning against the edge of your desk, a lazy smile on his face. You were stunned by both his appearance and his casual display of affection, and could only manage to open and close your mouth a few times, “cat got your tongue?”

“Miguel?” you looked at him with wide eyes, “w-what are you doing…here?”

“Just wanted to come and see my favorite girl,” okay, there was definitely something going on. You highly doubted you were his favorite girl (that was probably Jessica or Mayday), let alone his favorite anything, “I have something for you.”

“For me?” your mouth ran dry as he nodded. Was he flirting with you? Surely he couldn’t be, “what would that be?”

“Here,” he reached behind his back and pulled out what looked like your suit…only this was slightly different. He placed it on the desk in front of you before moving to stand behind you. His larger frame easily dwarfed yours, and that was something you tried to push out of your mind. You looked over the suit, trailing your fingers over the soft fabric, “I made some adjustments to it. I think you’ll find it easier to access web fluid and its got better repair tech. Something new Parker was working on.”

You let out a small breath of amazement; this was an incredibly kind gesture from anyone, spider-people did happen to be generous for the most part, but this was next level. You re-familiarized yourself with the pink, blue, and purple fabric. A smile crossed your features as you turned your head to look at him. You found him watching you intently, “thank you, Miguel. This is…amazing.”

“You’re welcome,” his voice was near your ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, “maybe it’ll help you to listen next time, hmm?”

“Miguel,” you turned in your seat and found yourself face to face with him, noses almost brushing. Whatever you were about to say quickly left your mind as you looked into his pretty brown eyes. A sharp inhale escaped your lips and you noticed the smile on his face grow larger, “I, ugh…I…”

“Hmm?’ it was a small sound of the back of his throat as he regarded you. He reached up and touched your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “what’s up?”

“I umm,” you stammered nervously, trying to ignore the feeling of his skin on yours, “I gotta go. I-I think Peter needed me for something.”

“He’s out on assignment right now.”

“Mayday then,” you volunteered slinking out from under his arm and grabbing the new suit, You felt your entire face warmed up as he started to chuckle, “Mayday needs me-”

“She’s a baby!”

“And I love her,” you squeaked, “so I gotta help her!”

You took off before he could say anything else or fluster you even more. Something had gotten into Miguel O’Hara and you weren’t sure you could handle it. You weren’t sure you’d survive the man you’d longed after for so long returning those very same feelings. 

Well. This was going to get interesting.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You came to the decision, made after much contemplation and tossing and turning at night, that you were going to ignore Miguel. Not ignore completely but ignore his advances. If he did happen to flirt with you again, you weren't going to say or do anything. Not that you expected them…but, you know, just in case it happened.

When you got to the headquarters the next day, you kept to yourself, taking your coffee and making your way to your little assigned corner and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Maybe if no one saw you, you could get away with being practically invisible. 

But the universe wouldn't have it, of course it wouldn't.

"Hello there," his voice was sticky sweet like toffee and that didn't land well with you. Rather it did land well in the sense that it shouldn't have made you feel the rush you were currently experiencing, "you look pretty today."

"I, ugh," you looked down at your outfit and shrugged helplessly. You were dressed simply in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals; nothing that you would consider exceptional, "umm…thanks?"

"What's wrong?" He knew exactly what was wrong, the bastard. He could probably hear the erratic and wild beating of your heart, "you seem…nervous."

"N-no," you shook your eyes but your wide eyes and pretty pout were anything but convincing, "just…tired?"

 "Are you sure about that?"

"No," you answered. You could have beaten around the bush all you wanted, but you knew that he wasn't going to give up. That wasn't Miguel at all. The best option - the only really - was to just come out and tell him the truth. Once it was all out, the chips would fall where they may, "why are you suddenly flirting with me? W-wait, are you flirting with me?”

“I am,” he admitted this so easily that it caught you off guard. You knew he wasn’t one to lie per se, but you didn’t expect him to just outright admit it. Confusion colored your features as you tried to get your mind to function again, “I am…flirting with you.”

“Oh,” you nodded and turned back to your computer screen before it all set in, “oh?”

“Oh,” he teased, reaching forward to brush some of your rogue locks of hair behind your ear.

“Why?” you reached up and wrapped your fingers around his wrist, gently pulling his hand away, “is it because I’ve been flirting with you?”

“It’s one of the reasons…among others,” alright. Now you were curious, even more than before, as to where this was going, “is that a problem for you?”

Nope. No. Nah. Not. At. All.

“Ummm…” you felt ditzy and dazy as you looked over at the handsome man. He really had you thrown for a loop, “I just…if I made you feel uncomfortable with it, I’m sorry. I never meant it to be mean or anything. I just…meant it.”

“Meant it?” he parroted as you swallowed thickly, “you meant it all those times you were flirting with me?”

“Y-yes,” your confession was soft and gentle as Miguel practically preened under your words. He wasn’t sure what answer he had been expecting, but somehow it wasn’t this one. He hadn’t flattered him with the idea that you would seriously like him, “I did - I do, Miguel.”

“Hmm,” he mused softly as you blinked at him with wide eyes, “do you want to know something?”

“Y-yes? Yes,” you nodded, tummy fluttering with butterflies and heart pitter-patter rapidly.

“When I’ve been flirting with you,” he leaned down so he was almost face level with you, “I’ve meant it too, princess.”

“No way,” disbelief flooded your veins as the first conclusion you came to was that he was lying. Perhaps this was all to get back for going against his direct orders during your last mission. That must have been the reason, right? You leaned away from him and almost slid off your chair as you rolled back to create a bit of distance between your bodies, “y-you’re lying. You have to be…”

“I’m not lying to you,” this time he was in disbelief. He’d never once lied to you…why would he start now?

“You have to be,” you sounded so pathetic as you grabbed your stuff and almost ran away, “you can’t like me like that!”

“Why not?!”

“I dunno, you just can’t!” you almost ran into Peter as you tried to get away, “sorry!”

Peter was dumbfounded as he looked between your quickly disappearing figure and Miguel, “what happened now?”

“I wish I knew,” Miguel exhaled heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “fuck.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You kept your distance from HQ for a couple of days after your embarrassing outburst. You had replayed that very moment over and over in your head, trying to see it from all different angles.

The only conclusion you kept coming to was that he was telling the truth. And that reality was hard to come to terms with at first…but then it was blissfully exciting. Miguel liked you! But then it was more like Miguel liked you…holy shit. 

But then you decided that more than anything, you needed to know the truth. 

You practically ran over to his office, causing the curious glances of other spider-people to follow you. You could hear their hushed murmurs, but didn’t stop to address them. News traveled fast around this place and you had no doubt that as soon as whatever happened between the two of you, the news would spread like wildfire. 

“Miguel!” you didn’t even bother to knock and announce your presence, bursting into his office without ceremony. He turned around to face you, a few different expressions crossing his features before settling on surprise, “I…”

“Yes?” suddenly every single coherent thought escaped your mind as you stared at him. He cocked his head to the side and looked at you expectantly.

“Did you mean it?” you whispered, taking a step closer to him, “the other day when you said you flirted with me because you meant it. Did you mean it?”

“Yes,” he promised, closing the gap even more, “of course I did. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Me neither,” you insisted, catching yourself, “lie to you, I mean. So…”

“So we’re on the same page now?”

“I think so,” you smiled hesitantly at him, and the two of you locked eyes for a few moments. 

Before you could stop yourself, you closed the little bit of distance remaining between your bodies before practically jumping into his arms. Almost as if he had known what you were thinking, he effortlessly caught you, wrapping his strong arms around you. You beamed at him, melting as you watched him practically glow at you. 

“I want to kiss you,” you touched his face, and he practically leaned into your touch, “may I?”

“You may-” you prevented him from saying anything else as you crashed your lips onto his, kissing him with a fierce determination and eagerness. 

Neither of you dared to pull back until you were both breathless, looking at each other through hazy eyes and soft smiles. He gently set you back on the ground and you stared up at him. 

“Do you want some more honesty?” he asked gently, stealing a few more kisses, which you eagerly gave him.

“Of course.”

“I plan on doing that a lot more,” and yeah…that made you practically jump his bones then and there, “if you’re down for it.”

“Yes,” that came without hesitation, “I definitely am.”

“Better close the door then,” you did as you asked, looking at him with round, eager eyes, “you know how nosey they can be.”

“The nosiest…”

“Now, c’mere,” he held his hand out to you, “and let me prove I wasn’t lying to you.”

“Yes, please.”

[abookloverlmao]

When you’re lost in the darkness look for the light—

warning: father-daughter relationship, mention of death, depression, school shooting, swearing, heavy topics, blood, kidnapping, reader is 19 years old or early 20s, family loss, trauma, ANGSTY!

My birthday passed and I miss my dad and love Price so here you have this angsty piece, grab tissues, you have been warned!

🤍

Price is a father- was actually.

Father of 10 year old Ruby who passed during a school shooting, did it take toll on his life? Yes... yes, it did.

Did he get married and have another kid? absolutely not. Always just a one night stand.

Price never thought he would have a kid, hell even handle one ever again after his was gone, his sweet Ruby– until.

A sarcastic and violent fourteen year old holding a sniper gun and hidden away from the world in a cabin a little away from the base that was attacked appeared.

At first like a pain in the ass but as times went by, she became the rest of his uncompleted soul, like the light in his dark life.

From being a smartass to him, to being a soldier under his wing.

And being a soldier under his wing means getting into trouble sometimes and getting yelled at by him, he didn't want to lose the one girl who like his Ruby.

After almost getting shot, she found herself in Price's office listening to his scolds, staying silent and moving the pen across the paper knowing better than to argue back.

“I know I ain't your damn dad, do I need to tell Ghost to always keep an eye on you because you can't take care of your own self?” He sneered causing her to stop and look up, giving him a frown.

oh…

it was always her saying that she knows he’s not her dad sarcastically just for him to retort back a “do you?” but she never thought it will be the other way around.

she stayed silent before opening her mouth to murmur a small “do you?” now that made him freeze.

His gruff demeanor softened a little but then hardened and he scoffed, running a hand through his hair.

“I…” he started, Price's brow furrowed, and he leaned back in his chair, massaging his temples, "Don't get all sentimental on me, kid," he grumbled, his tone gruff.

“I ain't got time for that shit. Just do your job and stay out of trouble, understood? you need to start acting like a grown ass,”

But despite his harsh words, there was a subtle warmth in his eyes as he looked at her, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that had formed between them.

Y/N did nothing but nod and huff sinking back on her chair, “fine.” he glared at her, “understood?” he repeated again causing he to stand up and walk towards the door.

“understood, old man, but if anything ever happens to me then just to let you know I did it like a grown ass. I’m a woman now, ain’t asking for help ever again,”

Price watched her leave, a mixture of frustration and affection swirling within him. He let out a gruff chuckle, shaking his head as he muttered to himself, “Stubborn little shit,”

he knew she liked him too much to stay angry at him, hell he saved her ass too many times and she saved his soul, she always came back to apologize for being stupid but this time she did come to see him before heading out with a boy she met a year ago.

a fling.

Price met him, but didn’t trust him, hell he hated the thought of the girl he raised meet a guy- well at least he watched her grow and become a woman not like his… never mind, Y/N will always remain the sarcastic fourteen year old to him.

his little shit who called him old man.

his light when he’s lost in the darkness.

Y/N knocked, peeking in, “hey… i’m heading out with Alexei to the cinema, just came to let you know,” she said with a small smile walking towards his desk.

Price looked up from his paperwork, his expression unreadable as he met her gaze, “Going out, huh?” he grunted, trying to mask the twinge of unease in his chest.

Y/N nodded, her smile faltering slightly under his scrutinizing gaze, “uh huh, just thought I'd let you know,” she replied, her tone casual.

Price's jaw tightened as he studied her, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind, "Be careful," he finally muttered, his voice gruffer than usual.

Y/N's smile widened, genuine gratitude shining in her eyes, the childish twinkle he bought back after horrible shit with her abusive asshole of a family, “I will, cap. Promise.” everyone knew the; don’t promise something you can’t keep, rule.

As she turned to leave, Price couldn't shake the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of his stomach. “and kiddo?” he called out, his voice softer now.

She glanced back at him, a question in her eyes.

“Come back in one piece, back to me, alright?” he said, the vulnerability in his voice betraying his tough exterior.

Y/N's smile softened, a flicker of sorrow crossing her features, “always do, old man,” she replied with the brightest grin, she then stopped by the door.

“hey John… look, i’m sorry for being a bitch with you earlier when you’re just trying to look out for me, and you know that I love you right?”

Price's heart skipped a beat at her words, a lump forming in his throat as he struggled to find the right response. "I know, kiddo," he managed to choke out, his voice thick with emotion. "And... I'm sorry too. Just... be safe out there, okay?"

Y/N nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I will, John. I promise." never break that rule kids. 

With one last glance, she disappeared out the door, leaving Price alone with his thoughts and a gnawing sense of dread that refused to leave him.

But despite his fears, he couldn't shake the feeling of love and pride that swelled within him for the young woman who had become like family to him.

“give me a call once you’re there!” he called back loud enough for her to hear and make her chuckle.

–•–•–🤍–•–•–

first call was right before the movie, Alexei said hello, but now it has been 3 hours with no response from her.

no movie is 3 hours… especially not Romeo and Juliet.. Price searched up the timing of the movie of course, his paranoia ate him alive, but then… it went to 48 hours of no news from her.

he looked everywhere for her, yelling for the cops to search for her and his crew, driving around and hacking her phone just to find it in a car abandoned in an alleyway.

not a sound, not a sight of her, she just… vanished– no way was his Y/N running away, she was happy with him, Price can feel himself losing his sanity minute by minute, cops looked everywhere around, his crew asked, searched, he looked even in the woods under the rain.

until 71 hours later, 2 days and 23 hours later… he got a call from a random number, Price stopped his crews and put his phone on speaker, “hello? kiddo? is that you?” he started but was cut off by ragged breaths, like someone was shot in the lungs or was badly hurt.

“dad?” she started between heavy yet rapid breaths, “Y/N?” Price's heart raced as he listened to her ragged breaths. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

for the first time she called him dad and it wasn’t in a sweet way, it was filled with fear like her life depended on it.

Price's voice shook with worry as he waited for her response, his crew hanging onto every word, “I’m in trouble, Dad,” Y/N gasped, the sound of fear evident in her voice. "I don't know where I am... They took me... I'm scared."

static can be heard in the background like shuffling causing him to wince and push the phone away from his ear.

Price's mind raced, his hands trembling as he clutched the phone. “Y/N, stay calm, baby girl, We'll find you. Tell me, can you see anything around you? Any landmarks?”

Y/N's voice was strained, “I-I don't know... look, Alexei is with the Russian gang, he’s a spy, he has always been- I shouldn’t trust him, hack this phone, and his real name is Dimitri Smirnov, was in jail for 3 years because of “you” apparently, I managed to knock him out but please for the love of god…” she took a deep breath, oh so shaky, it’s like her soul was slipping away by the second, after each inhale.

As her voice trembled through the phone, each word seemed to carry the weight of her suffering.

Her breaths were ragged, shallow gasps punctuated by the sound of her struggling lungs. Pain dripped from her voice like blood from an open wound, seeping into the airwaves with every strained syllable.

well she was bleeding from the side, hell she was bleeding all over in this random ass cabin freezing to death and holding her side for dear’s life at the corner with his phone in hand as Alexei laid unconscious– or should she say Dimitri, hell she couldn’t even move to kill him, the chains did hurt like a bitch.

“I want to go home… cause i’m fucking bleeding out and I don’t know if I’m living, please Price, please… just..”

yeah she’s dying, definitely dying…

her essence fading like a flickering flame in a gust of wind, voice trailing off in the distance same way her essence did…

The static in the background mingled with her gasps, a cacophony of agony and desperation that echoed in Price's ears like a haunting melody.

he won’t forget this- ever, whoever in the heavens listening to him and watching over him seemed to like the sight of his suffering, hell he knows he won’t ever forget those ragged breaths of hers.

it will haunt him for the rest of his life.

“come take me home,” her voice cracked with anguish, the weight of her words bearing down on Price like a heavy burden. It was a slow, agonizing descent into darkness, her lifeblood draining away with each passing moment, leaving behind only the hollow echo of her pain.

with that the line cut off, Price barked orders, tracking down her phone, and as soon as Gaz found the location they were off.

a haunting location, a house in the middle of the woods, burning from the inside.

Price froze, but then in a second, he raced towards the back of the house where the fire still hadn't reached the spot, kicking the door with all his force with his men behind he could feel his heart hammering as his eyes moved around in desperate search of her.

as soon as the door opened a sharp whiff of smoke hit his face, causing his eyes to squint and become watery, he coughed a little but that didn't stop him from moving in, calling out her name.

but then Ghost called him from one of the ends of the hallways, "hey cap! You might wanna see this!" he said through his mask causing Price to walk towards the man who pointed at the chains on the ground leading from the kitchen all the way through the fire and to the attic room.

Price's heart sank as he followed the trail of chains, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have happened to her. The flames roared behind him, threatening to engulf the entire house, but he pushed forward, determined to find her.

fine running through fire was a stupid idea but he wasn't burned or caught by the fire surprisingly, instead, he walked down the stairs but Ghost was quick to catch up stopping him from doing anything crazy when the door to the attic room opened.

"get out of my way, lieutenant," an order.

"let me check first," was all Ghost said before the masked soldier reached the entrance to the attic room, it wasn't locked... Simon took a deep breath, bracing himself for what he might discover inside, preparing for the worst.

gun in hand, the other reaching to push the door so slowly so he could sneak in just in case the "killer" might be by the door ready with a gun or a knife or even a brick.

however, the scene before him sent pure fear through his veins, horror gripping him alive, the room was dimly lit by the flickering flames, casting eerie shadows on the walls but the air was heavy with smoke and the acrid smell of burning wood.

and Simon was never one to be easily shaken.

he even forgot to point the gun around just in case of an attack, his eyes landing on the body in the center, empty eyes staring right back at him, barely blinking.

Ghost wanted to throw up, for the first time ever after millions of missions, he wanted to throw up at the sight, not at her... but the state she was in.

On the ground, beaten so badly, covered in blood from head to toe that he couldn't even recognize her features until his eyes landed on the earrings, twinkling, but with drops of blood still.

his breath hitched the more he took her in, the once nice shirt she wore ripped at the sleeves and top, barely warming her up, a hand chained while the other was on her side, ankles on the other hand both were chained keeping her from moving.

a bloody golf bat by her head, the hair she straightened, now curled and damp, spreading around and dirty thanks to the thick pool of blood— a bloody golf bat by her fucking head- the fucker had beat her to death until she was paralyzed with a fucking bat, not only that, but she was either shot or stabbed to the side.

her breathing- oh her breathing was- ragged, her cheek pressed to the ground and eyes staring right at his slowly losing the sparkle of life, slowly, god he couldn't imagine the excruciating pain she was in if her eyes were still open.

tears racing down the side of her face, pushing some of the drops of blood away.

Ghost's heart clenched with a mixture of rage, sorrow, and helplessness, and finally, he knelt down beside her, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch her cheek, feeling the warmth of her fading life, blood coating his gloved fingers as soon as he reached for her.

The weight of the situation bore down on him, and he struggled to breathe, his body shielded her face from Price who would probably drive himself to madness if he saw her.

his daughter-

"Stay with me," Ghost whispered, his voice choked with emotion, "We're here now. We'll get you the help you need. Just hold on. Price is here- John's here..."

she tried to open her mouth and whisper something but only her fingers twitched and her lips parted, words turned into nothing but rough breaths.

"Lieutenant?" oh shit- oh no what should he do, Price was calling out for him, what should he fucking do? no response. he just.. stood and took a step back.

Price frowned, eyes moving to his gloved hand, a drop of blood, thick and so red landed on the wood, but when Simon didn't respond to his call only stared at the body.

He moved to the side, but then his breath caught in his throat, eyes widening in disbelief and horror they almost popped out. His mind struggled to make sense of the unimaginable truth before him.

It was his little shit lying there, battered and broken, her fragile form barely recognizable beneath the blood and bruises. The world around him seemed to blur as he fought to comprehend the magnitude of the atrocity committed against his precious girl.

Every fiber of his being screamed out in agony, and he felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest.

and he moved, running to her side, collapsing on the wood, and reaching for her, taking his sweet Y/N in his arms, he held her against his chest and he swore he could see the way her eyes lit up as soon as she was in his arms.

Price could barely recognize her features, so he reached a shaky hand to brush her hair away from her face and with his sleeve, wiped the blood away carefully without hurting her even if it was painful even holding her, she didn't wince, but just stared, relaxing in his arms, breaths still fast but they slowed down as her fear evaporated like it was never there.

and she opened her mouth, mumbling the tiniest, "Hi old man..." Price almost sobbed at that, tears threatening to spill, yes he was emotional, for fuck's sake, "Hey kiddo... you're fine, just, try to talk to me we'll get you help," he whispered holding her, supporting her head like she was a baby instead of an eighteen-year-old woman.

He reached to push the strands of curls that clung to her bloody face, revealing a glimpse of her delicate smile. It was a bittersweet sight, pain, and fatherly love together.

With a trembling voice, Y/N managed to utter a few more words, her words barely audible, but Price leaned in closer, desperate to catch every syllable.

"come on, captain, scold me, it's better than this look," she whispered between ragged breaths, her voice weakened by the ordeal she had endured, tears streamed down Price's face as he listened to her brave words.

He couldn't fathom the depth of her courage and resilience in the face of such brutality. His grip tightened around her gently, as if trying to transfer his strength to her fragile form.

"I'm not scolding you at all, kiddo, never again," he said, he promised– as if that would make her stand and heal.

it won’t. it certainly won’t.

her vision grew blurry, the body heat slowly vanishing and colder then ice, black spots surrounding her vision, she didn’t know what to say.

"you’re my home, old man…" she whispered feeling her eyes flutter on their own, she wasn’t controlling her body, Price noticed and tried to shake awake talking about how she shouldn’t leave him or whatever, she couldn’t hear a single thing as peace slowly washed over her.

with weak knees she pushed herself using her tiptoed closer so her face in buried in his arm and his scent greets her into a warm embrace.

"no no no no- kid. stay awake," she would’ve laughed, joking about how he gives her orders even when she is on the verge of death.

"you’re my kid… you’re my home," he whispered both to her and to himself, so he doesn’t lose his sanity, to convince himself, he shifted so he will hold her in his arms into the tightest hug while her body is growing limp.

her breathing were ragged and as soon as he shifted and held her head against his shoulder, holding her head, it slowed down… and then stopped.

just stopped.

Price was frozen, heart shattering into so many little pieces, "Y/N? kiddo?" he asked shaking her a bit but as he glanced to the side, her eyes emptily staring up, lifeless, twinkle no longer there, no breathing escaping her mouth or nose, lips parted, head falling back, he knew.

his Y/N was gone, his sweet baby girl, in his arms, her bloody hand holding on his sleeve like it always did loosening and falling limp on her side.

Yet another soldier, yet another daughter vanishing from his arms and his life like a dying light, like a dying star, like dust in the wind.

well that’s life… ups and downs. never make promises you can’t keep kids.

Never

***

I hope you enjoyed it guys!! edit is shit but the story ruined me! please let me know what you think🤍

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (14) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n wait wait let him cook (imola)

masterlist | last part | part 14 | next part

INSTAGRAM

oscar piastri just posted to their story

TIKTOK

comments

FOLLOW UP QUESTION, WHICH RACE ????

something about a formula 1 driver and a rockstar having like the most normal story of meeting is hilarious

"took me a while to actually start dating her" i'm deadddd, u pulled her in the end tho bro

best relationship on the grid, i would die for them

didn't win the race but won her number, u have ur priorities straight

y'all gas her up too much it's not like she's that big a deal 💀 ↳ she's at least ten times more famous let's be fr for a sec, most of the world doesn't know what f1 is but they've probably heard one of lina's songs on the radio

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 1 mo. ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

fantstic013 · 12 hr. ago reviving this post bc of oscar's tiktok; they met at a race, which race??? when did lina attend a race?? whatthekermitdid · 11 hr. ago her f1 race debut (her words, not mine) was literally suzuka last month so i'm just as confused niaphilia283 · 11 hr. ago she might have done it behind the public's back. i think we all know that lina is only seen when she wants to be seen; we basically only saw her at scheduled events for the entirety of 2020-2023 like where was she even? what was she doing?

luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago ppl out there scrambling wondering which race but it has to at least be from the 2023 season bc i bet my whole life savings that their talking period was like 3 months so the new proposed meeting is like... abu dhabi grand prix (at the very least) which was back in december 2023

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 4h still not over last night's show... the shit was phenomenal, it the cherry on top ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 4h i don't think we acknowledge how masochistic t*mmy must be to follow lina around europe and enduring those 2 hour shows where almost every song is the biggest middle finger to your existance; personally, if a song like aconite was written about me, i'd just never show my face again

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 5h oscar's story??? sir are you talking about the actual view or the stunning woman on the balcony?? it's important that i know

president linami @ linaminami · 6h 24 days since lina's posted on any of her socials... i can't believe i miss her unserious ass so much 🥲

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "oscar could do so much better" respectfully how do you get better than selina fucking bui? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "he should be with someone like him" she's australian, she's born in 2001, she's got cat energy, she loves sleeping and chocolate, she's slightly unhinged, she's known as a prodigy in her field, she keeps down low and most importantly, she's hot as shit, what more do you want

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h he called her his lucky charm 🥺 i love them so much 😭 ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h wait lina?? where's this from?? i have terrible signal and no videos are loading ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h it's from a video of them entering the paddock, someone asked him what's its like to have her at a race again and he grinned and said she's his lucky charm ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h WAIT NO THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 4h WE'RE SO BACKKKKK

↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 4h that lucky charm must be working 👀

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 34m OSCAR PIASTRI P2 START YES YES YES

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 21m oh he was not kidding when he said she was his lucky charm ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 20m i'll have whatever he's having bc he was like a cat on steroids

jess @OPIXSTRI · 28m we were so close to a maiden pole why is it always a fucking haas ruining everything

Jonny @EB_jonno · 32m @ OscarPiastri Mega quali mate, way to absolutely send it (don't give Lina too much credit)

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri Autodromo Enzo e Dino Ferrari di Imola

liked by cameliazzz and 218,496 others

oscarpiastri Well, it was fun while it lasted 😂

opeightyone Time to have better fun tomorrow then

cameliazzz i bet she found it hilarious ↳ oscarpiastri @ cameliazzz She found the timing hilarious, she was pretty upset it happened

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 3h oscar piastri is now incredibly familiar with the rear wing of that ferrari it's just a shame it's the hideous hp logo

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h LANDO??? LANDO OML U ARE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h i mourn the mclaren double podium we could've had... ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h what matters most is that oscar finished ahead of sainz, i'm a happy woman

ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 21m the most iconic cousins are having dinner together in imola after the race

tagged: 周冠宇 | Zhou Guanyu 🇨🇳 and lina !!! ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 5m oscar finally let lina out of his sight this weekend?

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant and 264,586 others

oscarpiastri En route to Florence (got really sidetracked)

amelia_belrose who gave them the right to be so cute?

pi4str1 the anticipated road trip happened 🥺 ↳ linasgirl4 @pi4str1 from a mention in a rolling stones interview to reality, they did it guys 🫶

opeightyone Nice quick break before the double header

siera_mblanc he's never looked so boyfriend before this is insane, the girlfriend effect is slowly kicking in

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h something real funny about oscar driving down to florence with lina to spend a day or two before having to helicopter over to monaco by wednesday for the mclaren senna tribute livery/monaco gp promotions like 😭 OSCAR, BREATHE A LITTLE ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h idk how u think this is lina hate, it's just me pointing out that oscar had found a gap in his schedule and immediately went: i'm spending as much time as physically possible with my girlfriend before they forcibly drag me to monaco

Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 4h Searching my family tree to find any trace of Monégasque roots ↳ Charles Leclerc @Charles_Leclerc · 1h I can adopt you if needed ↳ Jonny @EB_Jonny · 13m did we just become in-laws to the leclercs???

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h oscar piastri-leclerc 😭

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha @sp1rl @destinyg237 @iloveyou3000morgan

[koishiro]

# - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 📍

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : after meeting megumi’s dad, you’ll experience a night at the lake you’ll never forget

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : dilf!toji x non-virgin!reader

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : short smut with the tiniest plot ever

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 : cumming inside (readers on bc), oral (male receiving), cheating (toji’s married)

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 : this is in a different universe where toji isn’t a complete dick to megumi and is a responsible parent (shocking I know) but still doesn’t completely get along with megs

Part 1 | 2 | 3

masterlist | jjk masterlist | anon masterlist

He was the first guy to ever get his cock to that place in the back of my mouth where it can slip into my throat.

It was an exhilarating discovery, learning there's a whole new thing out there to try and do. I was surprised no one had tried this with me before, from what I can gather after the fact it seems very popular with men, but they're too intimidated to try it in real life, or at least initiate it.

My friend, Nobara, had a lake house (which was really open to anyone, giving access to fishermen and, like us, a spot for hookups) about an hour away from our school. We'd go there a few times through the years with our group of friends which usually revolved around myself, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and whatever guys we were dating/crushing on at that time and spend the weekend playing drinking games and daring each other to go skinny dipping. It was every students dream.

I'd met Megumi’s dad a few times since I'd known him. I met him the same day I met ‘Gumi, walking past his dorm I saw his dad lugging heavy furniture into his dorm, sweaty and attractive — in a rugged, masculine way. I had found out later that his name was Toji.

"Has anyone ever told you your dad is really hot?" I asked Megumi when we were both sat crossed-legged on his bed that night, figuring a little salacious question asking would bond us, "Ha ha, are you one of those girls? I don't get the whole "hot dad" thing. They're just old.”

Figuring I had hit a sore spot, It was the last conversation we had about him, but it definitely wasn't the last time I thought about him. I always made sure to dress my best when I knew he was stopping by. Little dresses only a freshman would wear, low cut tank tops and once — when I was especially bored — a sheer white t-shirt with no bra underneath because, "whoops" I had just rolled out of bed.

It was a fun game to play but I didn't think he ever noticed, or at least he never really acknowledged me until one of those debaucherous weekends when ‘Gumi and his dad got their messages crossed and we all ended up at the lake house together. At first it was uncomfortable when we arrived and saw the trucks, Toji was there accompanied by some other men. They had planned a weekend for drinking. But, Toji gave us a wink and told us to stay on the lower level and he'd stay out of our way. Everyone felt relieved and told ‘Gumi how lucky he was to have a "cool" dad. But I felt something else when Toji winked at us.

That night, after many, many drinks I found myself wandering out to the dock. Everyone else had passed out, but I was wide awake. I saw Toji approaching me from the windy path down the hill from the cabin, two bottled beers in one hand. He handed one to me wordlessly, searching my eyes for something — the reason I was awake and alone maybe.

We stood there silently until he stepped forward and brushed my hair off my face, "You're a beautiful girl, (name), don't think that goes unnoticed" I blushed, could he tell I was harboring a crush on him? Did he notice the way I jerked slightly at his touch, nervous about my body's powerful response to it?

"Thanks Toji," I said, taking a swig of my beer and looking at the moonlight reflecting over the waves. When I dared to make eye contact with him again I realized he hadn't moved, he was still watching me intently. Did this mean — before I could finish my thought, he was on me, one hand placed very firmly on my lower back the other in my hair as he kissed me. His tongue was in my mouth before I knew what was happening, tracing mine. I had the urge to wrap my legs around him, but there was nowhere to balance on this dock.

"Come up to my bedroom" It was a request, but it was also a statement, he was sure of my answer.

I giggled when we crossed the threshold and closed the door behind us. It wasn't just that when he grinned and you could see the wrinkles around his eyes, it wasn't just the physical attraction. It was his demeanor, it was that he was a real live man, not a flimsy college boy. This was going to be a different kind of hook-up.

"You're married," I reminded him, not particularly pleased about remembering this detail myself.

"I can keep a secret," he said, closing his mouth on mine again, and backing us to the bed.

He removed all my clothing fairly quickly and laid on top of me, fully clothed. The rough textures rubbing against my bare skin felt incredible. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he rasped out. "I've waited for a very long time”

I wanted to prove that I was worth it, all this risk. So I reached up and felt him through his pants, staring longingly into his eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head as I unbuckled, unzipped, and released a very healthy looking cock.

I slid off the bed and onto the floor to get a better angle and he stood over me, gathering my hair behind my head as I started blowing him. I looked up at him and was rewarded with a face that was most definitely in ecstasy as I took him in my mouth.

He held my head down on his cock while I took him in deeply. This was a move widely hated by every woman I knew, but it was usually performed by dumb frat-type boys. But Toji was no boy, he knew what he was doing, he was looking out for me and making the experience short — just long enough to add a bit of excitement. When he pulled out of me he gave me his all too cocky grin and leaned down to kiss me, “I knew you'd be good at this”

He pulled me up and walked me over to a dresser placed underneath a large window. I could still see the moonlight on the lake as he bent me over it. Was it really just a few moments ago we were nearly strangers on that dock together? I was brought back to reality by Toji spreading my legs further apart and pushing my upper back down until my bare breasts were pressed against its cool surface and I felt him enter me.

"Oh my god..." I couldn’t help but moan as he thrusted into me. He shushed me by placing his hand over my mouth for a moment as he picked up speed. My moan was apparently too loud but he was willing to risk the loud sound it made as he slapped my ass over and over, groaning and filling me with his cock. I couldn't believe how turned on this was making me. I was no virgin but I'd never experienced sex like this — it wasn't awkward or embarrassing or rushed. I was very aware that I was getting fucked by a Man, not "fooling around" with a boy.

"Are you on birth control?" He asked and when I answered yes he cooed, "good girl, my good girl" The sound of that phrase coming out of his mouth sent me over the edge and I felt myself spasming around his cock as I released myself into my orgasm, even enjoying the sensation of a bit of extra liquid rolling down my thigh.

He was still thrusting into me rhythmically, alternating between kneading my breasts and grabbing — and slapping — my ass. I hadn't had sex last this long before and I loved being able to savor the feeling. "I'm getting close," he groaned and I tensed my body up, holding my place more firmly so that he could get deeper inside me as he unloaded his semen into me.

"You're so good at this, but I can tell you're just a beginner," He began as we laid on his bed to rest. I laughed, it was true. I had this fantasy about being a girl who gave amazing head and being really good at all the sex stuff, like some kind of femme fatale men couldn't resist. "I can sense you want to learn though” I nodded in agreement. I could play out this crush and learn what would drive my next actual boyfriend wild — who wouldn't want to kill those two birds with one stone?

And so, I began a year-long affair with Toji. We'd sneak away for a weekend when I said I was visiting my parents and meet at the lake house for lessons — how to stimulate differently for a long or a slow blow job, which positions let him get in the deepest while still providing some kind of external stimulation for me, how to prepare for and receive anal, how to lie with my head falling off the edge of the bed and allow him to push his cock into my throat (without choking). Occasionally I just gave him head while he drove me around, careful not to drive anywhere too well-lit or populated.

Now, how was I to tell Megumi?

—

Part 1 | 2 | 3

[solalunar-eclipse]

Okay. Okay, I don’t normally do this, but I’ve been wanting to do some sort of analysis post recently and the Sonadow shipper inside me grabbed me by the throat and pointed in Netflix's direction, soooooo...let’s have a look at some clips of Sonic and Shadow interacting in Sonic Prime, shall we? (Putting this under a readmore because of all the images.)

The first clip comes from this post. (I don't know how to add that particular gif to my post, or else I'd put it here too, but oh well. I'm analyzing the first one, to be specific.)

So, we begin with Shadow walking away, saying “We’re going after Nine”.

Sonic then reaches out to stop him (with his right hand, despite the fact that he has to reach all the way across his own body to do so, possibly suggesting that Prime!Sonic is right-handed?). This seems to be just before Shadow’s noticed, because he’s still moving forward, looking resolved now that he’s decided what to do.

Shadow sees Sonic’s hand, and looks at it with an expression that seems…mildly irritated, but not outright angry. It’s about halfway between his “resting grumpy face” and his “actually angry face”, in my opinion.

He looks over at Sonic himself with a slightly angrier face (mainly made evident by the fact that the point in the middle of his brow is actually touching his muzzle instead of resting above it).

Then he looks back at Sonic’s hand again (in a pose that I swear is slightly different from the last one even if it doesn’t look that way). The only real difference is that he’s just looking down a little more. The effect of these last three images in actual motion, though, is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glance at the hand, up to Sonic, and then back to the hand. It's sort of a "huh-what-huh?!" motion, I think. To me, this gives off extremely strong “what the heck is even happening right now?!” energy.

For completion’s sake, I’m going to finish out the rest of the gif with these last three pictures. Shadow pulls away from Sonic at this point (which, fair, Sonic did grab him out of nowhere and he’s not normally very touchy-feely although this may be disproved in the next gif), and it may or may not have felt like a small punch to the gut for me to see Sonic’s hand outstretched like that, but anyway.

Shadow shifts into one of his patented I’m Trying To Be Cool And Aloof Despite Being An Adorable Three Foot Tall Hedgehog poses, complete with an eyeroll. He doesn’t actually seem that upset about Sonic touching him, however, I think it’s probably more the context of the situation. Shadow keeps insisting that Nine is a threat that needs to be stopped, and Sonic keeps preventing him from doing that, so his frustrated reaction seems to have much more to do with why Sonic touched him than the fact that he did so at all.

And, least but certainly not least, a cute contemplative (and still slightly grumpy) expression from Shadow. (He’s just adorable!! Aaaaaaa—)

Now then! Let’s move onto a really, really big one…

…The Hug™.

The post that I got this clip from actually has some really good points that I’m going to discuss further, so please go read that first! It won’t take long, and also everything the OP says there is absolutely true.

Ready? Here we go! (Please excuse the slightly crunchy pictures...the only way I was able to get this level of detailed analysis was by recording the gif, scrubbing through the frames, and taking screenshots of specific moments, which naturally led to some artifacting.)

So, what's just happened prior to this frame was Rebel Rouge saying happily, "Sonic, you're okay!". Sonic, like the goof he is, does not acknowledge this in any way, fully focused on introducing his boyfriend to his other Shatterspace pals. Instead, he's just looking over at Shadow. Notably, Shadow is instead looking up at Rebel. I'd like to think this is because Rebel has the most put-together and leader-like behavior out of the Rouge counterparts, so he could be waiting for her to continue speaking and give instructions or commentary on the situation, like she does with Team Dark in the games. That's just my take, though, he could just as well be generally on edge—he is in the middle of a battlefield, after all.

Smear frame!! This is included for the expressions as well as for completeness…but mostly for the expressions. Look at how big Sonic's eyes are. Look at how excited he is. He's so hyped to introduce his best rival to everyone. Shadow, meanwhile, looks like he just bluescreened out of pure shock. Sonic's yanking him over so fast he's all blurry, but we can see that his expression is basically 0—0 right now. He has been Touched and he is being Moved and he has not had time to process Why.

(Notably, however, he doesn't break the hold, despite the fact that he definitely could...)

Now, they’ve both settled into place (although ‘settled’ may be the wrong word for Shadow, haha). Sonic is doing what I can only describe as beaming—just look at him! He has a big smile on his face, and he looks almost proud to be introducing Shadow. It really shows how much Sonic values and respects him. (*sobs*) Shadow, meanwhile, has shifted from “what is happening” to “oh Chaos I am being held I am being hugged?? What??? Physical contact? Why????”. He just looks so stunned by the hug, it’s too adorable! More specifically, in addition to the obvious fact that his irises and pupils have shrunk and that he has very stiff posture, if you look very closely at the gif as well as at the following pictures, his ears are also standing up a little straighter and his quills have pushed back slightly, possibly prickling at the sudden contact? Interesting…

Here, we can see Shadow’s ears relax now that he’s processed what’s going on, and his quills have more of a visible curve to them instead of sticking out so much. He’s also glaring off to one side in a position that could either be interpreted as frustration at his current situation (though not so much that he’s willing to push away!!) or as embarrassment. Personally, I think it’s a little of both. Sonic, meanwhile, is still smiling like the sweetheart he is.

Now, we’re getting into the frames leading up to Sonic leaning into Shadow (aka one of the most precious moments of the show). Honestly, I don’t have too much to say about this one, except that Sonic is moving in a way that he would normally while talking right now (shifting around, because this boy has loads of energy) so I have a feeling Shadow probably doesn’t expect the cuddles that are coming his way, ehehe.

The Smush begins!! Shadow looks like he’s quickly resigned himself to his fate, but also decently irritated that he’s essentially getting side-snuggled in front of everyone. This could’ve been another part where he shoved Sonic off himself (goodness knows he did it before in Avoid the Void), and yet he doesn’t, leading to the best part of this whole moment!

Sonic, you smug hedgie. Shadow’s already letting you hug him, don’t push it with that smirk! Shadow does have his eyes closed here, suggesting to me that he is at least a little bit annoyed by now. Again, though, I think this has more to do with the fact that he’s essentially in front of an entire crowd, none of whom recognize or know him. I’ve seen someone else point out that Shadow gets more closed off in Prime when he’s around people aside from Sonic, so honestly, the fact that he’s putting up with this at all sure is…something. (Shipping goggles on: it could be because he appreciates Sonic’s affection enough that he’s willing to cope with the embarrassment if it means the cute annoying hedgehog next to him will hold him a little longer :] )

Okay, so this is really difficult to see, but look at Shadow’s wrist protectors in this image as well as the last one. See how there’s less of them visible in this picture here? That’s because, as the person who posted this gif noted, Sonic moves his hand up and down Shadow’s arm twice after cuddling up to him like this. It actually moves Shadow’s entire arm and shoulder up and down with the movement, making it look a little bit like a friendly rub or shake. Sort of like “hey, look at my grumpy friend, isn’t he great?”. Meanwhile, Sonic’s still looking smug, but I’m now wondering if it’s a bit of a knowing look as well? I mean, this is the one friend of his who’s truly known him for more than a few days. I’m wondering if there’s a bit of “‘ey, Shadow, c’mon, don’t be so shy! You’re my pal!” vibes here, partially because he knows it’ll annoy Shadow and partly because he just knows how Shadow is but wants to drag him into his circle of friends regardless. (Look at how much Sonic cares about Shadow, trying to make sure he’s included! So cute!!)

THE PAT. Two of Sonic’s fingers are lifted up here, which he then uses to give Shadow a light tap on the arm. THE AFFECTION. THE OBVIOUS CARE AND FRIENDLINESS IN THIS ONE SIMPLE ACTION. SONIC CARES ABOUT SHADOW SO OBVIOUSLY IT HURTS ME TO WATCH. MY HEART. No matter how many times Shadow puts up walls, Sonic smashes them down. After all, Shadow doesn’t get to be the only one who does things like keeping Sonic safe or helping him stay grounded! Sonic’s not going to pretend those things just didn’t happen—Shadow cares about him in his own awkward, emotionally constipated way, and Sonic is reciprocating. You can’t stop him, Shadow!

I’m skipping the smear frame here, just because Sonic and Shadow basically pop up and right into this position. Sonic’s two fingers come out of the tap/pat and straight into the peace sign, and now he’s smiling even more than he was at the start of this whole thing. His eyes are all big and shiny too—he’s clearly very happy to have introduced Shadow, and perhaps also quite happy that he’s getting this moment of prolonged physical contact with Shadow. Now, while Shadow’s shoulder is still kind of smushed upwards, which could indicate stress in another circumstance, it seems to me here that this is mainly because Sonic’s hand is pulling it upwards slightly. (Although, I’m afraid it does appear to be the case that Sonic and Shadow are approximately the same height in Prime—remember, Shadow’s ears aren’t as perky right now as Sonic’s, and the ears are really the only height difference between them here.) Shadow’s expression, however, is honestly quite neutral. Despite his previous discomfort (part of which, I just realized, could be because Sonic essentially was pushing him off balance. Shadow was tilted pretty far to his left, which could be a little awkward of a position to be in, especially for an extended period of time), he doesn’t look bothered at all, instead just quietly existing in this situation. Most of the irritability in his expression comes from his angular eyes and his aforementioned “resting grumpy face”, honestly.

(I couldn’t find any gif that includes this next part—probably because the camera cuts away from Sonic and Shadow here for a moment to show the general confusion of the Shatterverse folks—but when it cuts back, Shadow is still standing there with Sonic’s arm around him. Heck, he looks willing to continue standing there for however long Sonic stays next to him, only pulling away when Nine comes back and makes noise, reminding everyone that we’re in the middle of a battle for everyone’s survival here. And when he does pull away, Sonic is dragged with him, which is probably mostly for laughs, but does also imply that a) he was holding onto Shadow pretty tightly and b) he wasn’t expecting to have to let go even AFTER Nine made himself known.)

This post is long enough already (and I drafted it when I could've been going to sleep, because the force of Sonadow infected me), so I won't be doing the "Shadow saves Sonic" scene just yet (unless a lot of people want to see that). For now, though, thanks for bearing with me throughout my descent into madness over these two. And if you want me to take a look at other gifs, feel free to send them my way or put them in a reblog and I'll see if I can make the time to analyze them!

[crash-and-live]

So I haven't written anything in a long time, let alone published anything, but I thought I'd give things a try with @bunnyreaper's Secret Santa writing fest. My recipient is @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff. Hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: John Price x GN!Reader (male pronouns used) with slight John Price x Reader x Simon Riley but a lot is left up to insintuation.

Summary: You're a civilian with a curious neighbour whom you rarely see, yet manage to get roped into taking care of his place when he's gone. You've known him for a while and your relationship slowly develops as the festive season approaches.

Domestic fluff mostly, playful banter and all but essentially a nice lil feel-good fic. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k

The night air was warm as you walked to the door of your flat, reaching into your pockets for the familiar feel of your keys. Pulling them out, you click open the lock before glancing over at your neighbour’s door. You hadn’t seen him much over the years, even less so recently. There were about two times you could recall hearing him move around the small flat in the past couple of months, before he vanished again soon after. He’d always been nice to you, in a gruff sort of way. Asked you to mind his plants on his balcony next to yours which wasn’t too hard. It clearly meant something to him as he always left a thank you note under your doormat with a small token of gratitude. 

He had said he travelled for work, and he wasn’t kidding. Every small item he’d left on your doorstep had been from a different country. Either a small trinket or stamp from places all around the world. You almost wished you could leave him something, but whenever you heard him next door and made plans to visit the next day, he was gone again. It tugged at your heart slightly, the amount this man, John, he’d introduced himself as that first time you’d met him, spent at work. It seemed to consume his life. He’d never had a visitor. Never gotten a parcel or a letter. Not once. No friend or relative ever knocked at your door asking for a ‘John’. It made you wonder… just who exactly was your neighbour? 

Shaking your head, you pushed your way inside and closed the door behind you, locking it before dumping your bags onto the small table before sprawling onto the couch, groaning in relief. Today had been hard. Not only had work been tough, but approaching the busy period brought a whole new level of stress. You could already feel your eyes fluttering shut before you heard a crash coming from next door, followed by a gruff noise. You couldn’t fight the grin that spread over your cheeks as the tiredness left your body. He was home. 

✯

“Sorry that I disturbed you.” His voice was husky, like you’d remembered as your eyes traced his face. His skin was weathered and his beard quite bushy, as if he’d been unable to access a mirror for a while. You’d gone over just to be friendly, to welcome him home because he must be lonely, to check on him and be nice. Or at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself. 

“You didn’t, truly. I’m almost glad I heard you. It’s been a while.” A soft smile spread over your lips as you took in his rugged appearance. Whatever he’d been gone for, you could tell it had taken a toll on him. Lines were heavy on his face and his shoulders were slumped. His eyes weren’t focused like they usually were, instead choosing to check every corner of the flat as if he were expecting something to jump out of the shadows. Your brows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?” 

“Don’t concern yourself with me, kid. I’ll be fine.” He shuts down the conversation because it could even begin. Pursing your lips, you nodded in acknowledgement. It was the one thing you’d noted about him. He was fine talking to you, asking about you and your life, but immediately shut the conversation down when it came to him. “Just been a rough few months.” 

Kid. He always called you that. A constant reminder of how he saw you. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed, but practically, you also knew it would never work. So, you sucked it up, soaked in every chance of communication you could with this man. “Anything I can do to help?” You tried to keep your voice neutral, but there was a hopeful lilt to it. John simply chuckled, shaking his head as he did so. 

“No, kid. You’re fine. You do enough for me.” 

“I water your plants, John.” You mused, fingers clutching at the glass he’d slid across the bench to you. “I think I can be a little more of service if you need, even if it’s just company.” 

John smiled, kindlier this time. “You calling me lonely, kid?” 

“Am I wrong?” The corners of your mouth quirked up into a smile in response to his own. 

“I have friends. All of them are like me though. A little off the grid, rough around the edges. Work consumes my life. I don’t have a lot of time for anything else.” His response was measured, as if warning you not to press any further. As if he’d already said enough. You sucked your teeth and gave a half-hearted shrug, letting the matter drop. 

✯

The next time you saw him was a few weeks later. You were bringing groceries in the late afternoon as he was leaving, heavy bag slung over his broad shoulders. He smiled softly when he saw you and you couldn’t help but flash a wide smile to him. 

“I didn’t know you were home.” You said, placing your bags on the front of your door. 

“Had no chance to tell you, kid. Got in late last night and already been called out again.” He shrugged, as if it didn’t really bother him. He would be used to it, you guessed. Didn’t mean that it didn’t take its toll. 

“Ever heard of taking a break?” You gave him a cheeky smile, cocking an eyebrow as he let out a breathy chuckle. 

“Not in my line of work. Always something that needs to be done.”

“Do you need me to do anything for you?” You asked again, hoping he’d take you up on the offer. This time, John remained silent for a beat before nodding. 

“Actually, yeah. Was meant to be home for a bit longer so I bought a bit of food. Take what you want and chuck the rest from the fridge. Don��t think much of it will keep.” He held out his key towards you. Your heart skipped a beat as you glanced between his eyes and the key in his outstretched hand. You nodded in response, reaching out and taking the key from his hand, feeling the roughness of his palm. 

“Thanks.” His voice pitched down slightly, the gruffness sending a shiver down your spine. John gives you a slight nod before glancing at his watch. “Gotta run. I’ll knock on your door for the keys when I get back, yeah? Or if it’s easier, chuck ‘em on my balcony. I’ll get in either way.” And then he was gone before you could even say goodbye. 

You stood there, looking down the corridor where he’d turned the corner before glancing down at the keys in the palm of your hand. It was plain, with two keys and a leather strap with no markings. But it was him. Closing your fingers over the cool metal, you turned to your groceries, picking them up and taking them inside, set on composing yourself for a few moments before you ventured into his flat. 

You’d been in his flat a few times before, but never been past the open plan of the main area. This time, you resisted the temptation to snoop through his belongings, despite the nagging curiosity. He was clearly a private man, who didn’t like to share his personal business. What kind of betrayal of trust would it be for him to hand you his keys, only for you to be nosey and intrude? You didn’t want to think about that. Instead, you dutifully went to his fridge and cupboard, and emptied them as he requested. 

That became a part of your regular routine. He left you his keys when he went away, told you to help yourself to whatever remained of his food. At first, you harboured some sense of guilt over it, taking his food. But as time went on, you convinced yourself he’d been buying more food especially for you, even going as far as to buy a few packets of your favourite treats that always went untouched by him, saved for you. Your cheeks burned at the thought of him thinking about you. So you repaid the favour in kind, making a few extra meals and placing them in his freezer, so he’d have something to eat when he came home.

✯

Amid your usual dinner preparations at the end of the working week, a sharp knock rang through your flat, impatient, and demanding. John never usually knocked like that, you thought, furrowing your brows as you made your way to the door. Maybe he’d had a rough time at work and was more tense than usual. Upon opening the door however, your eyes widened as you noticed a giant of a man, a black balaclava with white markings on his face. The only part of him you could see was his eyes, dark and steely as he held out his hand. 

“Keys.” His deep voice was cold as he stared down at you imposingly. 

“I’m sorry?” You wished your voice was a little firmer but given the sheer size and presence of this man, you could forgive yourself. 

“Keys.” He said again, more impatiently. “For the guy next door. Sent me to grab them for him.” Brows pinching together, you shook your head. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“Don’t be dense.” He snarled, stepping closer to you, eyes narrowing as he pushed himself over your threshold. Breath hitching, you stepped back, trying to close your door on the stranger, but he barred it with his arm. “Need the keys for John’s flat. Now.”

“Simon!” A familiar voice snapped from down the hall. “Don’t be hostile. He’s not a threat.” John appeared around the corner, hugging his side as he groaned, leaning against the cool stone. His face was pale and bruised, causing your eyes to widen further. 

“John!” Not caring about the stranger in your doorstep, you pushed past him, rushing towards your neighbour. “Are you okay? What happened?” Your voice was panicked as you rushed over to him, hands fluttering around his battered body. Letting out a weary sigh, John pushed off the wall. 

“‘M fine, kid. Just been a rough few days.” He placed a large hand on your shoulder reassuringly, squeezing it tenderly before nodding over to the man by your door. “Don’t worry about him. He hasn’t got manners like me.” 

You flushed slightly, looking back at the other man, Simon, as John had called him. Tracing your eyes over his face, you could see him squint and cock an eyebrow, as though waiting for you to comment. But you don’t. Instead, you reach into your pocket and grab out the keys to John’s flat, throwing them to Simon. 

“The deadbolt is the gold one, door handle is the silver.” Simon nodded and turned to John’s door as you looked back around to face your neighbour. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can bring you anything. First aid? Towels?” But John shook his head. 

“No, kid. I’ll be alright. Got Simon.” He said weakly, pushing off the wall as Simon stomped over, hooking John’s arm over his shoulder before he rushed inside, kicking the door shut with his heavy boots, causing it to slam in your face. 

The next morning, you were out on your balcony with a coffee when John pushed open his door for his morning cigar. He stopped when he saw you out there, before glancing inside hesitantly. 

“Your friend doesn’t seem to like me.” You mused, guessing that was the cause of John’s wariness. Your sly remark was rewarded with a hearty chuckle, cut short by a wince as he clutched his side. Your brows pinched together at the reaction and he noticed the concern laced in your features. 

“I’m fine, love. I’ve had much worse than a few cracked ribs. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Heat coursed through your body at the term of endearment. He’d never said that to you before. Suppressing a grin, you met his warm eyes, crinkling slightly with a reassuring smile as the cigar smoke surrounded him. “And don’t fret too much about Simon. He’s a just grumpy lad.”

“He could do with taking a few etiquette lessons.” You grumbled, but the corners of your mouth twitched upwards and was met with yet another hearty chuckle from John, the sounds making your heart race.

“You’re a good lad too. Thanks for taking care of the place. I appreciate it.” The mood softened between the two of you as the cold morning wind picked up. You shivered. “Tell me, why’s your heating unit not been on? Weather’s been right chilly.” Inwardly, you cursed that he’d noticed, but of course he would. He’s been far more observant than any person you’d come across. Shrugging, you replied.

“Broke a few days ago. Haven’t been able to get anyone in to fix it, being so close to Christmas and all. Everyone’s either finishing up for the year, or already fully booked.” John clicked his tongue, shaking his head.

“Can’t be having that now love, can we?  I’ll give it a look later but, in the meantime, come over to mine. Want to make sure you’re warm in this weather.” Blinking, you raised your head to begin to protest, but he’d already stubbed out his cigar and turned to his door. “Come on, love. It’s almost Christmas after all, no one should be alone and cold. Let us warm you up.” Was all he said before stepping inside and closing the door behind him, leaving you to ruminate.

Exactly ten minutes later, you were outside John’s door, stomach twisting as you thought about his earlier words. Us. Meaning he wasn’t alone. Meaning Simon was still here. Running your thumb along your knuckles, you debated heading back into yours when John’s door was pulled open. Except it wasn’t John standing there, but Simon. His large, hulking frame taking up most of the space in the doorway, and making you tilt your head up slightly to look into his eyes, the only part of his face visible under the mask.

“You gonna stand there gawkin’ at the door all day?” His words were gruff, but the sentence might have ended with a huff, as if he were making fun of you. Your stomach twisted even more at the rough timbre of his voice. Biting your lip, you decided to throw a bit of cheek to him.

“You gonna slam the door in my face again?” Your ears didn’t deceive you this time as Simon let out another huff, this time leaning against the door frame as his arms folded and head tilted, eyes carefully focused on yours.

“There were more important things to do than chit-chat.” Right. That was a fair point on his part. The two of you entered a silent stand-off, which mostly consisted of you looking anywhere but him as his hard eyes drilled into you.

“You letting the lad in or what, Simon?” John called out and Simon chuckled, eyes crinkling as he stepped aside, head cocking to gesture you in. As soon as your foot entered the flat, you moaned in relief, the warm air circling around you, unsticking your cold joints. Your face instantly heated as you realised the noise you’d let out in the presence of the two men and you ducked your head.

“That good huh?” Simon said lowly, brow raising slightly as he brushed past you, chest against your shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. John had an arm looped over the back of the couch, smiling, waving you over to join him on the couch. Once you sat down, John placed his strong arm around your shoulders.

“Better, yeah?” He asked, raising his brow enticingly. “Can’t be having my sweet neighbour cold when he’s taken such good care of me.”  You face hadn’t quite calmed down from your slip up before, but John’s words brought it all rushing back.

“You didn’t have to.” Your voice was a mumble, eyes glancing over at the telly as it played some holiday movie.

“I did though, love. I really did.” He squeezed your shoulder firmly and you felt your knees weaken at his strength. “Noticed you didn’t do much last year over Christmas and couldn’t have a repeat of that. Not when you’ve been taking such good care of me.” Finally, you picked up the courage to meet his eyes and you saw the intensity there. “Let me take care of you for once, yeah? Let us take care of you.”

Glancing up, you noticed Simon lurking in the doorway to the kitchen, eyes carefully watching the pair of you. Swallowing, you glanced back at your neighbour, his eyes boring into your expectantly. And you only had one answer for him.

“Yes. I want you to take care of me… sir.” John grinned, eyes creasing as his head threaded through your hair to cup the back of your head.

“There’s a good lad for me. Gonna take real good care of ya.”

If there are mistakes, please let me known. As I said, it's been a hot minute.

[sebastiansvertebrae]

Once more to see you

First chapter

Chapter 2: start of hell

4,000 words long

Notes

hello sorry it took me like longer to post here I worked on this until like midnight to get it perfect and then I just knocked out after finishing it and I'm writing this as I wake up thank you for your patience

This is where it begins

he starts to slide the card I looked at the other two. Camila and Deniz. They looked back at me as we waited. There was an unspoken Bond forming at least I think. Deniz had a small smile. Camila just looked at the ground.

Then we heard the confirmation jingle. the pressure releasing from the door. As Su-Jin looked up. Giving us a look that said go. I glanced at the room. I don't know what I was expecting but it was definitely not just a normal corridor.

There were some drawers to the walls and a few Lockers it was cold and smooth like the docks. felt too normal and clean. For what I've been told. I cautiously stepped inside. Carefully looking around.

Su-Jin and Deniz searched the drawers while Camila directly walked to the door. I decided to look into some of the lockers. Expecting equipment but they were all empty. İt seems they took their stuff before escaping.

I made a slight sound of disappointment. I thought I'd find something interesting. I tried to get inside of one just to see how it felt. Until I heard Su-Jin's voice calling to me as all three of them waited by the door I rushed over giving an apologetic look. He was of course he was the one to open the door again I hope the next will be uneventful as this one

And it was. For like solid 7 doors nothing happened. The most interesting thing was there were some side rooms sometimes and we had to find the key card. But other than that the drawers were just full of documents. We kept collecting them. Well me, Su-Jin and Deniz did. Camila just went to the door as quickly as possible and waited for us looking annoyed but not saying anything.

Deniz seems to be excited about collecting everything. Even more happy when he found a flashlight Su-Jin gave a nod Camila did not acknowledge. I was surprised that Deniz could find so much joy in something so small but I guess you have to find any type of joy in a situation like this.

On the 8th as we were looting when Camilla finally spoke.

“Why are you guys doing this?”

She sounded exasperated and a little angry Su-Jin looked up from the table

“What do you mean why are we doing this?”

His voice was stern and slightly surprised

“Why do you guys check and collect everything? It's a waste of time.”

Because we were told to collect loose assets? I thought you were just keeping watch.

“Yeah but that's the secondary objective and personally I would rather just get out of here quickly as possible and go home.”

Yes but it's still an objective.

She sounded annoyed and he sounded confused and maybe a little angry. While me and Deniz just watched but before the argument could drag on the lights flickered. And there was a screech so far away.

Something was coming quickly and we needed to hide. I remember the lockers are empty.

“Lockers guys lockers”

I quickly ran inside one of them, closing the door as the screech got louder. And then second there was a gust of wind and I saw it between the doors of the locker. But it passed before I could take a good look at it.

Let go of a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Everything was dark. And somehow I knew that the only reason that I survived was the locker. That was a monster. And it wasn't going to be the only one. And then I heard his voice.

Su-Jin cautiously asking

“İs everybody still here?”

İn unison

“yes”

At least everybody else is still alive. I took a sign of relief. Getting out of the locker. Everything was dark. But I know the others were near. There was a click and then there was light again. I looked at Deniz and he had that smile again. I smile back. He looked at the others. And then started walking.

I was shortly behind trying not to get out of the light somehow. It felt safe. I could still feel my heart beating. Although it had slowed a bit. I looked at Su-Jin and he didn't show much emotion. I glanced at Camila. she continued looking down, mumbling in Spanish something about a sister. But I couldn't understand much else.

I don't know if it's because of the distance or that I had gotten rusty. Mum was always very strict about us being fluent. Some days even making us only speak Spanish in the house. Sometimes me and Sebastian try to translate songs. But since his death I haven't been practicing as much.

For a second I lost myself in the memories again. The colorful memories of making Spanish covers and the dark memories of listening to them again. Colorful memories of enjoying moms Empanadas and the dark memory of watching her spiral. As I was getting deeper into the thoughts.

There was a screech and Something appeared on my face a deformed squid thing. There was a bright light and then it was gone so quick but so painful. I couldn't see anything, the bright light had ruined my vision. But just as quickly it came back. But I could feel my heart race again.

I looked around and everything was pitch Black. But I could hear breathing. I guess it was my turn

“İs everybody?”

“Yeah”

“yes”

“yep”

“Good”

“I found it it must have turned off when I dropped it”

Deniz said as they were noises probably him fiddling with it but there was an abrupt stop as Su-Jin chimed in

“I think that's what triggered them also let's not waste”

So we continued walking. I listened to the footsteps to keep track of everybody. I wanted to return to memories again but I knew that I had to focus. I didn't want to be surprised like that again. So I kept by everybody's side as we kept looting. This time Camilla kept by our side.

İt was actually hard trying to find things in the pitch darkness but we managed. Hopefully we didn't miss anything. I continued to focus on the footsteps and then I noticed that one of them was getting away as we finished collecting everything.

I guess that it was probably Camila. She's probably going to wait by the door again. But I felt something. I needed to follow her. She seemed not to mind or maybe didn't even notice my presence. Approach the door with the big sign saying 12. And it opened.

There was a little bit of light as the door opened and I took one step towards her. But then I saw it. something red and fleshy with a mask. İt attacked her. I made a horrible noise while doing it. Before I could react it was over and the door had closed. I heard a robotic voice.

“you are so gullible”

I looked up searching for it but there wasn't anything. I extended my hand to Camila but she did not take it. She passed me.

“Hey are you okay?”

“Yes I am okay.”

Her voice was harsh as she started to mumble in Spanish again. And then I heard the sound of the door opening. And I saw the lights. Su-Jin was waiting for us. Deniz was already scavenging in the next room.

“What were you guys doing?”

Camila passed him. but I stayed

“Well there was another door Camilla opened it and there was a monster that attacked Camilla she seems to be fine though.”

“Then we should be careful about those.”

He looked away, his voice was Stern. We continued on our path. And then the lights flickered again, throwing myself into the locker. And this time it came quicker than last time. As I got out I checked everybody was still alive and we continued.

The next few rooms were relatively unremarkable. Some of them had electrical leaks in the water can we have to turn off the whole room's electricity Su-Jin figure that out Camila kept her distance and Deniz kept collecting

I was there trying to keep up the pace. And then there was a flooded room, never the best swimmer. Sebastian was the best. He and mom told me that Maria was actually the best. How they used to joke about her being half fish.

Wish I knew Maria. I wish she was there. Maybe if I was a better brother before she left she would have been…and we are out of the water and I spent the whole time reminiscing. Damn it. 19 that was the room number

“Look into my eyes”

A green glow

“İf you look into my eyes you can see your friends, your family again, look into my eyes look into my eyes”

Mom had that smile on her face again. Smile that she gave me when I ace that test. Sebastian was back, his arms out reaching. He was going to give me a hug we were going to be family again

And then I was being dragged away from them. I blinked. There was a splitting headache. What was that? Why did I see them again? my eyes were closed. I could feel myself being dragged away. But I didn't question it. I heard a whisper.

“ya voy Maria”

The headache started to subside. I could finally open my eyes. And when I did there was just a corridor.

What happened?

“That thing almost hypnotized you or something “

I turn to see Deniz looking at me. He looked a bit weird and blurry. Maybe it was the headache. Wait, was I sitting on the floor?

“You guys, we're talking about seeing somebody again. I had to drag you two.”

“Oh thanks.”

I looked to the ground, my headache continuing and then I noticed.

Two. Wait does that mean

“I'm sorry I only have two arms.”

I got up and ran back to the room. Finding Camila laying on the floor. She wasn't breathing. She was just laying lifeless. The other two surrounded her too. I looked up. Deniz looked at the corpse, his eyes filled with remorse. Su-Jin checked for any vitals and shook his head.

She was gone so quickly. she was gone. And there is nothing that we could do. I did the sign of the cross. Deniz started whispering a language that I did not understand. Su-Jin lifted his head up and started walking. I followed and I could hear that Deniz was shortly behind us

Her last words

“ya voy Maria”

“I am coming Maria”

I think she was crying when she said it. Maria was probably her sister. She wanted to return to her. And now she never will. And her sister will feel the pain that I never wish on anymore. İn that single moment I wished I wasn't the one who got away.

I have to keep walking, I have to keep continuing. And I have to leave her behind. I thought about Maria my Maria. How she would feel if I died here. Probably nothing. Did she ever even care? Why am I thinking about my own sister?

Camilla had someone to return to. And that someone will experience the pain. The pain I felt all those years ago. Hopefully they don't turn up like me. I hope they have somebody else. And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up to see Su-Jin

“I'm sorry. But we have to keep up. We have to survive for the ones who couldn't.

I looked around. I was lagging behind. I gave a nod and lifted my head to survive for the ones who couldn't. Yes, I'm going to survive. So that she did not die in vain. We are going to make it. I catched up to Deniz and we continued.

Deniz did not smile like he used to as we continued to find more stuff. Some sort of hacking device. Another flashlight. And a medkit. I held on to them. These suits had big pockets. I stuck by his side as Su-Jin continued leading.

The boring corridors continued until there was door 25. But it was surrounded by vegetation flesh? I checked for other ways there were none. We have to brace ourselves. No other choice.

The inside was the same. Covered wall to wall. I didn't even bother with the drawers. This place wasn't worth it. I want to touch the walls to see what it was but I decided against it. Quickly got out of there before something ate us.

I looked at Deniz and tried to give him a smile. Like he gave to me. He looked at me for a second. I could still see the regret and grief in his eyes. But he still smiled back. I felt like I needed to say something.

“still thinking about it? I'm sorry you couldn't save her”

“…I wish I had three arms I would have been able to drag all of you out”

“yeah but I don't think that's possible.”

“İt would have been very useful. umarım hakkını helal edebilirsin Camilla”

He looked up as he said the last part. That must have been something in his native language. But he smiled a little. I felt like I should change the subject.

“…how did you break the hypnosis?”

“…I have no loved ones”

“What?”

“My parents are transphobic pieces of shit that isolated me. I don't ever want to see them again so it has nothing to use.”

“Oh that must be…”

“Rough, yeah but it's okay we are going to make out here, change my name, pump myself full of hormones and live a good life.”

He gave a small chuckle. I couldn't help but to return it. I felt something rising in my chest but it wasn't fear. It was something else. I couldn't really put a name on it but it felt good.

“Look, we are already at 30”

As we entered the lights flickered. He gave me a smile before going to one of the lockers. As I shut the doors I heard the screech. But somehow it felt a little different. I waited, not even bothering to hold my breath.

İt came but it turned to me. There was only a second between realizing that and the monsters smashing itself into a locker trying to open it. And that was the longest second of my life. As the foul smell of rotting fresh filled my lungs.

I held on to the Doors for my life. As it shook the locker. Trying to get me out. I don't know what it would do to me but I knew that I couldn't let go. My heart raced again and my breaths were rapid. I'm not going to die here.

I said continue smashing. I heard a scream, a visceral scream. And I know who it came from. I couldn't focus on that. I had to survive. I have to keep the doors shut. And then it disappeared.

I fell out of the locker. Exhausted. My heart is racing and my breath is still heavy. I was on the floor again. Catching my breath staring up into the ceiling as I remember The scream. There it was, his lifeless bloody body

Deniz was gone, that lively man talking about his future was gone. I couldn't even get closer, I just looked. He would never smile like that again. Nobody will mourn him. Except me. Su-Jin stood next to me.

“Let's go”

“Survive for the ones who couldn't”

I repeated as I got up doing the sign of the cross again. I should probably get the loose assets that he has collected But I can't get any closer. I can't look at him anymore. Knowing what he was just a few minutes ago. So I walked to door 31. Leaving him behind.

İt was just Su-Jin and me now. No camila waiting at the door. And no Deniz enthusiastically collecting. Just me and him. I continued collecting. While he kept watch. Everything felt so silent. As we continued through the rooms.

There was a room with a huge hole in the middle. And it needed a key card. Also one of the lockers had eyes. I'm going to check for that from now on. We found the key card and continued.

The Doors started to blend into each other. Everything that we have already seen. That thing with the Green Glow returned but now I knew what to do. Good thing nothing smashed into my locker again.

The lockers started to feel suffocating after only a few seconds. I couldn't stay in them, it just felt suffocating. I don't know if this has to do with the lockers itself or I'm going insane. I'm leaning more towards insanity.

Walking into another room starting to collect. But can I hear a mechanical sound? And then a beep beep and I felt myself being dragged into cover. And then I heard the bullets fire.

The next thing I heard was a growl of pain. İt was Su-Jin holding his shoulder as I saw the blood drip out. Has my brain finally registered what had happened. He saved me

If he didn't act I would be pumped full of lead. My carelessness is the reason that he is injured. I shouldn't be alive right now but I am. I pulled out the Med kit. Still shaken from the realization.

“I'm sorry, let me help…”

“No!..there seems to be a switch on that wall. I can take care of the injury myself close that and go to the next room…join up with you soon as I finish”

I gave a nod and peaked out of cover. I watched the turrets. And the lasers. I knew enough spy movies to know what this meant. And there was a path I could see. I took a deep breath. Waited for the right moment.

And I jumped out of cover running to the next cover and then the next and then the next. I felt like I was in a spy movie or something. But getting caught would mean death instead of just alarms.

I made it, I don't know how butI made it. I pulled the switch and then I heard that voice again.

“You're no fun”

This time I managed to take a glance at the number pad. There was a crudely drawn angry face just for a second and it disappeared and the number appeared again 50. I looked back at Su-Jin. He was still bandaging himself. I whispered another apology as I walked out.

I was alone. He wasn't dead but I was alone. I looked at the door ahead and the blue glow. another key card. But the room only had one drawer. This was going to be easy. As I stepped inside. I heard something metal hit the floor. And a voice.

“over here”

It was muffled and kind of grovely. but I knew that voice.I looked at where the voice came from. The open vent. My heart started racing again. Memories flooding back in. No this can't be possible. It couldn't be.

Sebastian that was Sebastian's voice. I looked at the vent. It was pitch Black inside. But I knew what I heard. Or did I? There might be something in here able to copy voices. But then how would they know Sebastian's voice?

Or maybe I have started to hear voices. Maybe there's something in this facility that is making me. Hallucinate yes yes that must be. I should just get the key card and get out of here.

I walked to the drawer. You just get the key card and get out. Simple you can't mess this up. I opened and there was nothing. The drawer was empty. Then I heard the voice again.

“If you're searching for a key card it's here”

He sounded annoyed and impatient. Like how he cursed out traffic. I approach the vent looking at it. I could feel my heart in my ears. Maybe there were tears in my eyes. And maybe none of this is real and I'm hallucinating.

But I still crouched. I looked into that abyss. It was calling to me. Smell of sweat and fish was on the other side. I closed my eyes. If this is how I die at least I got to hear him for one last time.I started crawling.

“Finally”

I was out. I opened my eyes. It was pitch Black. And the smell was even more potent and more disgusting. The voice spoke again. It was just like when we were late to school and I finally managed to get out the door.

"Welcome,welcome!”

There was a click as the lights opened and I could see what was making that noise. The first thing I saw was its tail and then.

“Don't be afraid,”

It was kind of hard not to be. As I looked at it. It was massive with sharp teeth and claws. Kept speaking like him. I started to get up. I need to take a closer look. I need to know I observed his features.

The scales, the three eyes, three arms, the tail. Angler fish bulb, and Fins. İt was not human, it couldn't be my brother. It sounds like my brother. Specifically when he's having a terrible day but has to be polite.

Am I actually still alive or did I die. What if he couldn't save me and maybe this is just a fragment of my imagination? I tried to stare at it in the eyes. İt wasn't looking back at me, it didn't have pupils but I knew that it wasn't looking at me.

Thousand thoughts in my head as I felt my cheeks get a little wet. I wasn't paying attention to what it was saying. But then I heard it. I heard it. Something that I wanted to hear and also didn't.

“My name is Sebastian. your only friend.”

“SEBASTIAN”

I exclaimed his name is Sebastian. He introduced himself with the name Sebastian. This isn't possible but if it's.

“Yes Sebastian”

He sounded confused and annoyed. He was looking at me in the eyes and I focused on his face. And I could see Sebastian İn his expression. What sealed the deal was a faded scar on the place that a nose would be. İt was him.

And he didn't know who I was. I had to remind him I had to say it. Even if it isn't him I have to. With tears in my eyes.

“Alejandro it's me Alejandro”

And then I saw something in his eyes shift the annoyance turning into something else. That I couldn't fully read with his new face. The silence was deafening as I felt my heart beat out of my chest and then the claw came toward me.

But I didn't fear it, I accepted it. As he grabbed me. Bringing me to his face. He stared at me and I stared back into his eyes. The smell was even more horrible here. And the grip was a little tight.

But I didn't care if he needed to take a closer look at me to confirm. As long as he just confirms it, as long as I can hear his voice. He lifted up one of his fingers to touch my face. My beard. I have a beard.

And then it hit me. I am all grown up. He doesn't recognize me because I'm a 25 year old man. A 25-year-old fuck up. As I finally understood that expression. İt was horror. Horror at what I have become.

I felt the grip tighten. He was going to kill me. I deserve it. I couldn't follow in his footsteps, I couldn't stay in school and I couldn't become a photographer. But before he did I wanted one thing.

“Can I hear you sing once again?”

And he put me down. Staring at me for a few seconds his expression slowly changed. Anger and sadness at the same time. As he opened his mouth I knew I deserved any insult that might come.

“Alejandro, why would you agree? Why would you throw your life away like this?”

His voice was pained and angry. Sounded like he was on the verge of crying. I knew the answer. I spit it out with tears.

“Because I had a feeling.”

Ending notes:

apologies for the first 10 minutes of this post I ended up adding the tags and then forgot about adding the rest

[ishouldbedoinghw]

You Can't Erase Me

One Piece fanfic, part 11: Marriage of Inconvenience

Previous parts are in my pinned masterlist.

A woman enslaved by the celestial dragons is found by a man with red hair. Angst and comedy ensues.

A/N: Y'all know the drill. I was going to get some other writing done before picking this one back up, but yknow I watched Beetlejuice Beetlejuice the other day and it inspired me to go ahead and start this chapter.

TW: More thirsting over a vampire, alcohol consumption, allusions to SA, descriptions of drunkenness, bad decision-making, Shanks, suggestiveness but not nsfw, possibly ooc Mihawk, I'm still learning how to accurately write stoic characters

---

"You mean to tell me you didn't have a clue who the fuck that was?" Zutsu was demanding, shaking me a little.

"Um-"

"Please tell me you at least know what a warlord is."

"Yes, I'm not that dumb," I snapped, my gaze repeatedly lingering over to where Mihawk was trying his best to ignore a very drunk Shanks, while Benn looked even more tired than usual.

"I wasn't implying you were dumb, I just-" he sighed, his hand leaving my shoulder. "I'm just shocked, is all. Anyone who knows anything about the relationship between pirates and the World Government on the Grand Line are very familiar with the warlords. Hell, my sister is 13 and I think she has a Sir Crocodile poster on her wall from an issue of Hot Pirates Weekly."

I didn't want to know anything about what pirates were hot after my discussions of Shanks with Maria, so I didn't ask what Hot Pirates - Whatever was.

"Listen, I know who the damn warlords are, I just don't- didn't know what this one looked like 'til now, alright?" The only pictures the Red Force had was the wanted posters of Straw Hat Luffy, and some blue-haired chick with bad makeup the crew said to never, ever bring up to Shanks. Some ex of his he wasn't over, I reasoned. Hongo had some of the crew when they were younger, but he pretended they didn't exist for fear of acknowledging he actually likes the guys he's spent years on a ship with.

In other words, even though I knew Shanks was old friends and rivals with the warlord, I'd never actually seen the guy.

Zutsu seemed satisfied enough with my answer. Instead of prying further, he just asked if he could meet Shanks. I begrudgingly said yes, although I could tell his motives for speaking with the ginger were just as nefarious as Maria's.

Benn was shooting me a now-familiar I am about to strangle this bastard look as we approached. Shanks was still yammering off to Mihawk, whose eyes I refused to meet as I introduced Zutsu to Benn and Yasopp, Roux having disappeared somewhere to find a bite to eat.

While Zutsu blushed plenty when Benn shook his hand, I could tell I wouldn't get any peace if I didn't at least try to get the captain's attention.

"Shanks-"

"Spooky! I'm a bit hurt you didn't wanna dance with me, but Hawkeyes seemed to have plenty of fun- I didn't know you had it in you, I guess that's what I get for thinking you couldn't pull-"

This jackass never shuts up, does he? It could be white noise to me by now if he wasn't so damn loud.

"Shanks, as much as I appreciate your undying confidence in me, please-"

He interrupted me again, having spotted Zutsu next to me. "You're such a lovely dancer, you could teach me a thing or two if you wanted-" He stooped slightly to land a wet kiss on the back of Zutsu's hand.

"Oh, ew." I muttered aloud, and if Shanks heard me, he didn't give any indication.

"I'm surprised you aren't used to his- hunting games by now." The smooth voice made me jump. Mihawk had replaced Zutsu's place next to me, and I willed the sweat gathering on my hands to disappear. Thankfully, he wasn't looking at me, just watching Shanks with mild disinterest.

"She hasn't had the misfortune of witnessing it in person since she joined us, and I must say I'm envious." Benn, you absolute saint. I'd had no clue what to say, as I was too focused on steadying my breathing and hoping the blush on my cheeks only made me look drunk.

This is pathetic. He's only a man, and kind of a rude one at that. Then the words Warlord and World Government came to mind, and I was left wondering if openly trying to insult him during our dance was the best idea.

Mihawk started to slip away while Shanks was occupied, trying to make his way back to his massive sword at the still-empty table.

Shanks, however, wasn't having it.

"Hawkeyes! You never want to stay and chat, I thought you loved me!" Shanks did his best pouty-face, though it looked odd on the face of a 40-something-year-old.

Mihawk looked as if staying around Shanks was the last thing he wanted to do, but he hesitated in leaving nonetheless.

"You can grab the farm plow you call a sword later, we're having more drinks!" Shanks said it matter-of-factly, and I was left wondering just how often he succeeded in harassing Mihawk into partying with him.

Judging by the slightly annoyed yet surrendered look Mihawk was giving him, it was quite often. I had little doubt he ever successfully refused Shanks. To be fair, not many people successfully refused Shanks anything.

Mihawk seemed to procure a wine glass out of thin air as he sat down, remaining completely silent. Benn nodded in curt greeting, while Yasopp tried his best to merrily clink his mug with the wine glass.

The only reaction he got was a withering glare.

---

Two Hours Later

---

After enough alcohol to sterilize a hospital, Shanks had loudly announced everyone should go back to the ship to bring the party to the rest of the crew.

We were now all crowded around a large bonfire, the majority of the crew having joined us on a small beach. There were a few locals and tavern dancers that had joined us, but most of them had been too intimidated to party with pirates.

Maria had joined us, at first trying her hand at flirting with Benn, then ultimately deciding 50 was older than she could do. She proclaimed this quite loudly to the entire group, although I was sure she only meant to whisper it to me. Afterwards, she'd also tried to get Shank's attention, but waved the white flag of surrender when the pirate pulled Zutsu onto the makeshift dance floor.

"Such a tragedy to lose such a man," she sighed, "But Z won him fair and square."

I still wasn't fully comfortable with how openly she talked about wanting to sleep with my captain, but it seemed I was the only prude present. She'd thankfully changed the subject when she saw my grimace, although what she brought up next was not much better.

"I get he's scary and all, but you can't tell me Hawkeyes isn't hot as hell." Hawkeyes was also a mere 7 feet away from our conversation, but the rum we'd had diminished our embarrassment, Maria moreso than me.

"I'm not gonna gush about a guy like I'm twelve, Maria," I took another swig from the bottle we shared, grimacing as the bitter taste caught up to me. "But, yeah, he isn't bad."

Maria rolled her eyes mockingly, giggling. "Hypocrite, you're looking at his ass right now."

"Shut up, I have enough decency to not oogle at someone's ass-"

"Maybe not his ass, per se, but you're definitely looking-"

"I'm looking at you, 'cause that's who I'm talking to," I huffed, licking my dry lips.

I had, in fact, been looking directly at his ass unabashedly, but I wasn't about to admit it out loud.

"Well, regardless of who's ass you're looking at-"

"No one's."

"Regardless-" she spoke over me, "He's, like, super dangerous and all, and he may or may not actually drink blood, but it makes him cool and sexy-"

"Cool-and-sexy is standing right there, and can definitely hear everything you're saying," Zutsu sat down with a huff, sweaty and breathless.

"Like you can say anything, you've been Red-Hair's arm candy all night, shameless bastard," Maria snapped, though her voice held no venom.

Zutsu at least had the decency to blush, staring down at his feet.

"Where'd Shanks go, anyway?" I asked, craning my neck to look for him, and definitely not using it as an excuse to ogle at Mihawk.

"He went to- to piss, I think," he muttered.

As if on cue, Shanks returned to the party with a shout, and planted himself directly in Zutsu's lap, and landing a wet smooch directly on his neck.

"Oh, gross." I scrambled to get up, the sand making it a bit difficult.

"Oh, I take it back, Red-Hair looks like he kisses like a teenager," Maria huffed, wiping a bit of sand from her skirt.

I let out an extremely unflattering laugh, playfully shoving Maria, and receiving a shove back. Given her intoxicated state, she shoved me harder than intended, and I ended up stumbling directly into the back of Dracule Mihawk.

He didn't stumble even slightly, and didn't say a word as I caught myself on his coat without even thinking.

"Trying to dance again?" he asked, sipping on the rum he'd replaced his wine with.

My face burned, and I backed a few strides away, trying not to think about how solid his back had felt. I was also slightly peeved he had once again commented on my dancing, something I'd actually been decently proud of that night.

"You wish," I muttered, the irritation winning out with the rum in my system.

He didn't say anything, buyout he didn't turn away either.

His massive sword was now leaned on a barrel nearby, and he hadn't strayed far from it. Likely in anticipation of an attack, I reasoned.

We stood in silence for a moment, Maria having disappeared somewhere else. It was almost comfortable at first, before I grew anxious that he might think I was strange for not saying something.

Before my brain could catch up, my mouth had blurted, "What's your sword's name?"

Oh my fucking- how stupid could you sound. Who the fuck asks the name of an inanimate object, why are you so dumb-

"Yoru," he said simply, in a way that suggested I should already know the answer.

Oh. Was it common for weapons to have names? I'd never heard any, but I suppose I had never asked, either.

A small distance from the bonfire, some odd group of crew members and part of the band I recognized from the tavern had started to play. I focused, trying to figure out what song they were playing, hoping it would jog some memory.

No such luck, but the melody was fast-paced and energetic, and I had to force myself to keep my hands from tapping along to the song.

"How did a dancer join Red-Hair?" Mihawk asked, almost shocking me. Until this point, he seemed entirely uninterested in everything around him.

"I-" I wasn't entirely sure where the warlord stood in the field of trustworthy. I knew he was an old friend of Shanks's, and I knew that while it seemed the crew was aware of the power he held, they all seemed completely comfortable around him.

Maybe it was the rum that had loosened my inhibitions, but more than anything, I wanted the chance to tell someone about myself without having to make up a lie.

"I- They found me out at sea, they said a mermaid dumped me and ran."

Mihawk quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"I don't have any memory from- well, from before-" I wasn't sure how to explain it. I didn't want to bore him, or seem like I was trying to garner any type of sympathy.

"Before-?" The tone of his voice was haughty and a little impatient, but not unkind.

I took a deep breath and started again. "I was- I belonged- to the Celestial Dragons. I don't remember the mermaid, but the man who got me out was the one who brought my food to me."

It all became a rush after that.

"I was kept in this- cage or something, hanging in the air. My job was to sing lullabies to their little boy." I focused on the grains of sand at my feet, my brow furrowed. "But they gave me something, it made me forget everything, even who I was, before then. I didn't even remember seeing the little boy grow up."

I heard him taking a swig of rum, the rustling of his coat the only indication he moved. I wonder how he managed to be so quiet.

"The day I- got out, you know," I continued, "The boy, a man then, I guess, was angry about something. He took me out of the- the cage, and took off my-" I gestured to my neck, and with a pang remembered the very obvious scarring around my throat.

The next part I had only described in detail to Hongo and some to Shanks, but the words wouldn't stop when logic told my mouth to close.

"I- he- I'm not sure of everything that happened, but-"

"You don't have to explain everything if you don't want." He took another swig. "You have the choice to do anything now, and tell anyone anything you choose to about yourself."

It was... comforting, in an odd way. I had only ever been asked as some sort or ward or patient, like what had happened to me was something someone could fix. Hongo had needed to know as my doctor, and Shanks had- well, I wouldn't be surprised if he was just nosy, but he was the captain and responsible for everyone.

Choosing to share something myself felt much better.

"He gave me more of the- the drug, I think. I couldn't move, but the man who brought me my food, you know, he came in and grabbed me." I paused, wishing I had a little more rum.

"All I remember is glass breaking, popping, and screaming. I think he threw me into the water, and I woke up on the ship later."

Mihawk didn't say anything. I wasn't even sure if he was still there until I looked up and found his golden eyes studying me. The sight made me jump a little, and I giggled a little at myself.

"Would you like to dance again?"

The question surprised me. Was he fucking with me? I thought he'd hated the one dance we already had.

But he offered his hand to me, much like I had held out mine in Delilah's. After a moment of hesitation, I took it.

After downing the remains of his drink quickly, the warlord led me to the other dancers, and I caught him glancing every so often to Shanks- obviously checking to see if he was watching. There was no singer in the little impromptu band, but the music was all lively jigs, everyone drunkenly (and rather clumsily) dancing. Maria had pulled a very flustered Lime Juice into the swath, and was giggling at the way he tried to keep up with her.

I was giggling myself as Mihawk turned to face me, his large coat swishing with the movement. His hand met my waist, and my face burned at the contact. He started leading me in a slow sway, but my feet were itching to actually keep up with the music.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Warlord, but I am not doing that."

"What-"

Without thinking about what I was really doing, I reached behind his shoulder and pulled him closer to me. Much to his silent but obvious indignation, I lead him in a brisk two-step once again, actually rotating around the floor rather than sticking to the outskirts.

I felt a little braver this time as the familiar ache made its way back to my legs- he wasn't a complete stranger anymore, and I knew how to dance. Although he had been taken slightly by surprise, he matched my steps perfectly, never even stumbling.

This dance was what I'd somewhat hoped the first one would be. He seemed to enjoy himself this time, occasionally spinning or dipping me, making me laugh. He never smiled, though his face was considerably more relaxed than before. We danced to one song, then two, and we were on the fifth before either of us spoke.

"Do you believe you were a dancer before?" He asks, spinning me as the song ends.

"I think so," I say breathlessly, the pain in my limbs finally catching up with me. "I know my first few dances tonight were- less than professional, but..." I trailed off as his mouth quirked up in an almost-smile.

"You're beautiful," I blurt without thinking.

He brushed away a curl that had gotten stuck on my cheek.

"Marry me."

What... what the fuck? Had I heard that right? Was alcohol making me hear things? As attractive as I thought he was, and as well as we'd gotten along tonight, I wasn't thinking about proposing to the damn guy.

"What-"

"Oi, Hawkeyes, you asked her without me?" Shanks was clambering over, this time without Zutsu attached to him.

"What-"

Mihawk pointedly ignored Shanks, still looking at me. His expression was as stony as ever, and you would've thought he was telling me to shut up, not proposing.

"Since it seems he hasn't explained it to you, I shall," he said pointedly. "The Celestial Dragons do not take kindly to losing what they believe is rightfully theirs. They will hunt for you, and are not accustomed to taking 'no' for an answer." He folds his arms, now directing his gaze at Shanks.

"I would think your captain could have told you this, considering how much he likes to talk."

"I didn't want to worry her-"

"Wait," I interrupted, "You knew someone was hunting me, and didn't mention it?"

Shanks at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"And what the hell does that have to do with you proposing to me just now."

Mihawk didn't even try to look sheepish.

"I am a warlord," he said simply. "With that, I am given what is essentially political immunity, as long as I keep the Navy satisfied. If you were attached to me, and you did not reveal yourself as a former slave-"

I was sure my cringing was visible at the word.

"-the Marines who pose any threat would be smart enough not to dig up anything about you."

I hadn't thought about being in any danger from the government, though I'd had plenty of nightmares of returning to- wherever I'd come from. One good thing about sailing with Shanks was that, at least awake, I felt safe.

"Listen, Spooky, I can protect you, but we could get separated, or worse, you get stranded where I can't find you." Shanks said, looking infinitely more sober than before. "Being a Red-Hair pirate gives you some protection, but you aren't exactly known as a pirate. Being married to a warlord puts you in the public eye without anyone actually seeing you on a bounty poster."

"And anyone trying to cause you harm risks angering the world's strongest swordsman," Although he seemed to be bragging, Mihawk stated it as a fact, and didn't bother to look smug.

I, for one, was simultaneously far too drunk and far too sober for this conversation.

"So, I- I marry you, and then-?"

"You are free to do what you want," Mihawk said simply. "Choose to stay a pirate, although I don't recommend causing enough trouble to garner your own bounty, or stay with me."

Blunt, isn't he? "Stay-"

"On my home island," Mihawk said. "As long as you don't disturb the peace and quiet."

"Oh," was all I could muster at the moment. Too many questions threatened to spill out, like Would we be married forever? What would being married even be like? Could I go anywhere I wanted now? How convincing would we have to be?

"Do what you want," Mihawk interrupted my train of thought, having somehow gotten his hands on another glass of wine. "No one can force you into anything."

As many ways as I could see the entire arrangement going horribly wrong, I couldn't deny the allure of nearly-complete freedom. Life on the ship wasn't bad, but I hadn't known any different - hadn't felt like a real, breathing person - until tonight. I wasn't likely to leave the crew anytime soon, but if I could actually see every island we visited? The rush of hope was exhilarating.

It was my future, my choice. And who was I to deny myself a life of freedom by being married to the most handsome man I'd ever seen?

"Alright," I said quietly.

"Hm?" Shanks evidently hadn't been paying attention.

"Alright," I repeated, firmer this time. "I'll do it. I'll marry you."

Shanks let out a whoop, though I'm not entirely sure what had made him so happy. He hoisted me over his shoulder, causing me to shriek.

"To the church, lads, she said yes!"

[captainsophiestark]

Super Surprises

Harley Keener x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Harley's SO shows up earlier than expected to his apartment and discovers he leads a slightly more interesting life than the average MIT student

Word Count: 1,781

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Harley! You'll never believe the email I got from my professor! I mean, I'm not complaining, since it meant I could get out of class early and grab some food for us before coming here, but-"

I stopped short, frowning from the kitchen of my boyfriend's apartment. Normally, by now, he would've come out here to join me, or at least acknowledged me from somewhere else in the apartment. But I hadn't heard anything since I'd walked in the door.

Granted, I'd shown up much earlier than he'd been expecting me. My professor had canceled class about five minutes after I'd sat down in the lecture hall because he couldn't find parking, had been trying for twenty minutes, and was fed up with the whole ordeal. Still, there was no reason Harley shouldn't have been here. His lack of response was odd.

"Harley?" I called, tentatively heading towards his bedroom. I heard a hushed commotion and some shuffling from inside, then a muffled bang before total silence. I reached the knob, starting to feel a little concerned for the wellbeing of my boyfriend, when he flung the door open a moment before I could.

"Hey," he said, fixing me with a delayed version of his usual grin. "Sorry, I was just... cleaning something up."

"That's okay..." I said, narrowing my eyes a little and trying to look past Harley into his room. He shifted in the doorway to block me, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned at me, trying to look suave, but I wasn't buying it. I ducked under his arm and moved into the room, looking around with my hands on my hips.

"You, uh... you said you had a story about an email from your professor?" asked Harley from behind me. I just hummed without turning around. He was acting weird, and I was determined to figure out why.

I scanned the room, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Other than my boyfriend, that is, who hovered behind me radiating a nervous energy I never felt from him every time I took a step. I started moving around the room, and Harley looked so nervous I thought he might fidget so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. I walked past the window and his bed with no real effect, but the moment I started heading for the closet with purpose, he sprang across the room to jump in front of me.

I put one hand on my hip and fixed him with a look.

"What's in the closet, Har?"

"Nothing."

I snorted. "According to my sources, that's a load of bullshit."

"What sources?"

"My common sense. Come on, you're never this jumpy, especially not around me! So what's in the closet. I know you're not hiding a secret lover in there, so just tell me. What is it?"

"It's... a surprise," he managed, not even half as convincing as he would need to be. I just rolled my eyes and took another step towards him.

"Harley Keener, you aren't fooling anybody. You are, however, starting to worry me. So come on. What's in the closet?"

Harley's eyes darted around the room, scanning me and our surroundings, and I could see his brain working a mile a minute. Finally though, he sighed, the restlessness draining away from him as he settled his stare on me. He looked like the normal, slightly tired, sarcastic and blunt guy that I'd fallen for so fast in one of our physics classes again, and relief washed over me.

"You want to know what's in the closet? Fine. I was working up to telling you all this shit anyway, so why not now?"

I raised an eyebrow, but Harley just turned around to open the closet door a crack. He had a harsh, whispered conversation with someone apparently hiding inside, and my mind started racing, trying to come up with possibilities that would tie into this whole situation and actually make sense. Before I could come up with anything, Harley stepped back, and someone stepped out of the closet.

Never in a million years would I have been able to come up with the guess "Spider-Man is hiding in my boyfriend's closet".

My mouth dropped open as the beloved hero of New York stepped further into the room, Harley at his side. I just stared, trying to get my brain working again. I wasn't having much success.

"What... how... why-?"

"Remember I told you I met Tony Stark once, in Tennessee? When I was a little kid?"

I nodded, shifting my attention to Harley again. He had his hands in his pockets, and the usual casualness in his posture seemed a little more forced than usual.

"Well, I didn't mention that I saw him again. Regularly. He's kind of... adopted me, I guess, as a science kid who helped him fight off some bad guys one time. I actually go visit somewhat regularly, and Spider-Man's Tony's other science kid."

I blinked a few times, looking between the two people before me, my brain still trying and failing to play catchup. Spider-Man gave me a little wave, which didn't really help.

"That's... Harley, that's insane! Why didn't you... why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as his gaze fell towards the floor.

"I didn't want to tell you before we got serious. It just felt weird, like I was bragging or trying to get you to like me based on who I know. And I didn't want you to go out with me because of it, either. And then when we did get serious, it had been long enough that I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was trying to figure it out, but I guess that's not a problem anymore."

He shot a look at Spider-Man that only a sibling could, with all the annoyance and irritation possible communicated in a single second. I couldn't help smiling.

"Well, I'm glad I know now," I said, crossing the room to take Harley's hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Har. I'm always happy to hear about you and your life, even when it's... unexpected."

He smiled at me, then leaned in and gave me a real kiss. I didn't let it go on for more than a few quick seconds, since we still had a guest in the room, but it was still nice. A little reassurance for us both.

"So..." I started, finally turning to the masked superhero in the room. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man."

I held out my hand for a handshake, which he returned.

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too! Harley talks about you all the time."

I grinned, and I could see Harley shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. Spider-Man's voice made him sound way younger than I'd thought he was, but I decided not to comment on it. At least, not right now.

"So... what brings you to my boyfriend's dorm, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh! Well, I'm working on this case, and there's this technology that I think can help me track down the bad guys I'm looking for, but I can't figure out how to hack into it, and Mr. Stark's super busy-"

"Yeah, just gimme the drive," Harley interrupted, holding out his hand. Spidey obliged, then Harley glanced back at me. "Are you okay with this? I know we planned to just hang out together and do some studying..."

"Har, you're involved in superhero business. I'm not going to tell you to drop it, especially when it doesn't really have an impact on us." I turned to Spider-Man. "Luckily for you, I even brought extra helpings of food from Harley and I's favorite place. Although, it might be kind of hard to eat it through the mask."

Spider-Man turned to look at Harley, who completely missed it because he was staring at me.

"I never agreed to share my food with him. How could you offer that?"

I just smiled and shook my head, nodding in Spidey's direction. Harley turned to him with narrowed eyes, but his expression quickly changed when he saw something in Spider-Man's body language or otherwise that had his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Maybe Spider-Man was secretly telepathic or something.

After a few long moments where Harley and Spidey were apparently managing to have a silent conversation despite the mask, the superhero turned back to me. Harley took my hand in his, a small smile on his face, and then a moment later, Spider-Man whipped off his mask.

A baby-faced teenager stared back at me with a beaming smile, and I instantly got hit with the most irrational surge of protectiveness I'd ever felt.

"Hi! I'm Peter," he said, giving me another little wave. "Peter Parker. Harley trusts you, and I trust him, so I figured... I could probably share this with you."

I smiled, reaching out to lightly squeeze Peter's arm.

"Thanks, Peter. I'm glad you did. And not to be dramatic, but I'll take your secret to the grave."

Peter's eyebrows shot up, and I heard Harley snort from next to me. I grinned at them both and headed for the kitchen.

"Now c'mon, you've got a case to work on or whatever and I have a ton of upper div calculus homework. None of us has time to waste."

Both boys followed after me, and within a few minutes we were settled at the table in Harley's apartment. Harley and I sat shoulder to shoulder, legs pressed against each other. Even though we were working on separate things, we were completely together, which made everything so much easier.

Every once in a while, I'd look up at Harley and Peter working over the same laptop. Whenever one of them noticed me, we shared smiles before returning to our tasks. We'd moved past the whole Stark-superhero thing pretty quickly, and I was okay with that. It didn't really change my impression of Harley or who he was, it was just another interesting aspect of his life. But I didn't miss the significance in Peter sharing his identity with me.

He wouldn't have done that, and Harley wouldn't have given him the silent yes, if Harley wasn't incredibly serious about this relationship. I'd become more and more convinced over the past few months that Harley was the one, and this told me he was most likely on the same page.

Of course, we'd have to have some conversations about that at some point in the future. But for right now, I was just happy to be working next to him, perfectly comfortable together, even in this new aspect of his life. Shoulder to shoulder through shitty classes and superhero drop-ins alike.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten

[fallecupid]

"how could i love you?"

.ᐟ.ᐟ warnings :ㅤ angst!dean.ㅤvampire!reader.ㅤgn!reader.ㅤㅤㅤword count: 6k

( author's note : i apologize in advance for errors in this text / vague wording / words that are incorrect in meaning ( if any are present in the content. ) english is not my native language, everything written below has been translated by a translator. )

The heavy clanking of chains and the dampness of the basement hit you like cold water in the morning. Confusedly trying to get some focus of events, you shook your head, almost instantly calling out an irritated lurch somewhere behind you. The gears were slowly banging one against one in your brain, not ready to acknowledge the worst of it. Though it was clear in the back of your mind that it was Dean. You could have sworn you were about to meet his disappointed gaze, or worse, a silver bullet to the forehead.

The man grabbed your chin sharply, not even trying to control the force with which he squeezed the soft skin that once held you so sweetly against him. "Don't look away, the least you can do is look at me." Dean leaned in slightly, gritting his teeth almost to the point of grinding. "After all the shit you pulled on me. How long did you think you'd be a doormat?" He cut himself short, pulling away and crossing his arms over his chest as a low rumble came from you.

The noise intensified behind you, and within minutes Dean Winchester was standing in front of you. His green eyes darkened, like he saw some bastard he should take his life, but damn it was ironic. You pressed your lips together, unable to even look at him.

A tiny signal of how much pain he was holding you in. To his inner turmoil, Winchester let go, he would blame himself again and again later, but not now. "Just let me explain..." Your parched lips cracked as you tried in vain to moisten them with saliva. Winchester, squinted his eyes, unable to hide the way his inner demons were eating away at him.

He couldn't get his mind around how disgusting you were. The little snake he held close, the bloodsucker in the same bed as him. It was utter nonsense, but it was true. And the worst part was that he loved you, even now, through the prism of hatred, he loved you.

The man paced the damp floor, which creaked treacherously beneath him, sagging wetly. "Try explaining." The chilling tone cut into you like a knife to the heart, but with the stipulation that it had been spun a few times. Under that invisible vise, the only thing you could do was stare meekly at the floor, swaggering your words.

"I wanted to say earlier...But i was enjoying the moment too much, you know? All your love, your affection, your smile, those damn teases.... Everything was available to me, like I'd won the damn lottery." You didn't dare look at him, just squirmed.

Dean stopped, looking at you, pursing his lips. A weak excuse, you knew full well he was smashing heads with the likes of you every damn day, yet you still lived off of fortune. Either you were a goddamn lunatic or crazy in love. He almost suppressed a smirk, running those words through his head.

But the moment of weakness didn't last long, he would remember again the moments where you almost got caught. The perpetual night walks, the drops of blood caked on your clothes, the odd behavior, after all. But Dean was just a brainless puppy in love for turning a blind eye so easily. Now all he wanted to do was bang his head against the wall a few times to beat the crap out of himself and the idea that you deserved forgiveness.

Still circling beside you, he hissed in your ear, warm breath stated with dry speech. "That's a weak excuse. If you'd lost control and gnawed on a neighborhood, right? A city? You're dangerous as hell." The man touched your neck, nuzzling it in a light touch, averting his gaze. Now the gears were already working in his brain. It was as if some contradiction was showing its ugly head every time he spat those caustic words at you, every time he wanted to take your head off. God damn him.

Still clutching your neck, his eyes followed yours, those damn eyes full of fear and despair, those damn eyes in which he was drowning and still is. Those lips, now pressed almost to white, used to kiss him supplely. Your hair, the familiar tuft of hair that rippled against his skin. And it was now that it overwhelmed him, as if he were looking through an old family album.

But that's the thing about scrapbooks, they hold those memories that can only be remembered, not realized. You're a monster, you killed innocent people, manipulated them. Torn in a cycle of doubt, he didn't notice how damn hard he squeezed your throat, of course it wouldn't kill you, but noticeable discomfort it might bring.

"Shit shit shit shit, I-" As if coming out of a trance, he recoiled, looking at your face, you almost on the verge of tears. The irony was eerily funny, because he too felt a lump somewhere in the middle of his throat.

"Just tell me, what the hell? Why are you torturing me?" He pressed his lips together, running his fingers through his hair. "You know damn well I can't kill you, but you look at me like I'm the ultimate evil of all." Muttering quietly, Dean took a few deep breaths, looking at you slightly blurred.

Shit. He can't just take your life, not after you pulled him out of a shit hole, not after you helped him rebuild Sammy, not after you gave him a goddamn house. He found a piece of himself. He'd already lost one, his father, and he wasn't ready to lose one by his own stupid oversight.

In fact, you'll handle everything together, won't you? Dean knelt down in front of you, his hands convulsively squeezing your cheeks, on which tears had long since flowed. The man pressed his forehead against yours, his voice shaking like he was in forty-degree cold. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry i'm a fool." He looked at you. "No, you're not.... Anyone in your shoes would have done the same." You muttered, meeting his gaze.

"I'm in my place right now and i'm being an idiot for letting myself love you." Bitter longing mixed with the heaviness of his voice as calloused fingers drew faint circles on your cheeks. "Hey... don't cry." Winchester leaned toward you, absorbing the regret in your eyes.

"That's right, you're a complete idiot for not shooting me in the head." Trembling, your hand tentatively reaches for his hair, groping the area. But here you are: he suppliantly reaches for you, unable to look at you anymore. It's as if all his hateful feeling has been washed away by the speech water, as if you were never a blood-singing brat and he never dreamed of killing you.

It's like everything's back to normal. He's beside you, you're stroking his hair, and he's tucking his lips into your shoulder. It's all so familiar, so warm. So much so that it could have been a happy dream, but no. We're in a harsh reality where every parasite will get to every innocent.

Just by that, you receive a crushing blow to the heart, his revolver filled with silver bullets poking into your soft chest. He doesn't even try to hold back the tears that are traitorously pouring out of him, the only thing he can do is scream as he stares at your now breathless body. Dean could have sworn there was a phrase frozen on your lips that cut his heart worse than any knife. "I love you."

Winchester's always been a hunter. No matter how long he pretends this doesn't concern him, he can't just leave it alone. Even if he's ready to shoot himself now, even if he feels himself shattering into a million pieces right now, he's still a hunter. And you, you're the vampire, the one he's hunting.

[moddymoon]

Oh my, what a lovely person...

Yeah, I've posted a few of these before... I honestly am not that keen on posting most of them, but this one was just so lovely...

Yes, I'm not hiding who this is... I often see a "pattern" with a person, and it's worth sharing, but this very much is *this person* which I'm commenting on...

At this point, it just kind of comes across, as a typical you know, questionable person, who has little concept of boundaries, et al.

And I get maybe the whole just diving in and asking the questions you're meaning to ask...

It's pretty *likely* they are one of those not slightly questionable people but very questionable people even at this point..

There's a few things here... The "professional mommy" thing is you know not good... Not saying that *being* a professional mommy is a problem, but professionals don't approach people in this way...

It *might* be that a professional would approach a person going, "hey I noticed that you have this issue, and I might be able to help you resolve it..."

Especially when you the professional might be looking at some resource, because that's something they are looking for themselves.

This might be a "quibble" type comment... But the "mummy" vs. "mommy" thing bothers me, and... I've yet to see someone using the term "mummy" (different meaning entirely in English, like ware vs. wear...) who hasn't ended up being problematic.

It's a big indication the person doesn't really speak English, and quite possibly "European languages" as their first language. At least it doesn't come across as particularly professional.

As a *professional* myself, I will only really mention something like this that I *am* a professional, if I'd otherwise be contacting a person.

Looking for a dog washer, contacting one... Finding out they are not doing that, and being willing to help them get that sorted...

My response was non-commital at this point... Just kind of acknowledged that I'd got a response. I said, "OK" to that, got what's up at the top.

Based on me reading this... I was clearly *not* into it at the time. I can't say why. It could have been a bad day. This went over several days...

The "let me see" absolutely is not cool. Maybe if someone is in the community... And wants to share pictures, yeah, sure... It could just be something kind of weird, not understanding.

This very much is something that does happen. Usually when it does happen, and it is a misunderstanding, the result ends up being, either they just quietly go away...

Quite common, and you can't tell if they really did just not understand, or if they did understand, and are upset they got caught out.

Either case? If they just go away... I guess problem solved, sort of...

The asking about the brand... I can get that, that makes sense in the community... But if you *are* in the community, you may not even know my answer (feel free to ask me if you don't, about what my thoughts are).

OK, I'm apparently feeling more generous at this point, than I was earlier. The "let me see" after I've ignored it, again, not on, and since I ignored it... Really yeah, not OK...

I am generous in saying that I'd like to get to know them better... It is *fair* for me to respond like that. Honestly I would. But honestly... I should have probably pointed out that it's just not OK ... though let's just assume they are just clueless...

Let's *not* make a point of pointing too "dangerously" to where they are going wrong. At least until it's clearer that they're not clueing in.

I *have* had people clue in that I was happy to continue talking with. Even then, I'm not sure how often it ended up being much of an ongoing conversation.

The response to, "I'd like to get to know you better" isn't really great. I've had lots of these types, and sometimes it's really just a person isn't comfortable, or they have the wrong idea.

Most of the time, to be honest it's usually *some* version of what this is. Where they aren't saying too much, because they may be trying to pass off multiple conversations at the same time, possibly as different identities, and really not a genuine person.

Other times, it's just a person isn't really comfortable. Like... Look at my responses... At this point, I'm really trying to not be overly committed ... And that either should set off alarm bells of, "this person isn't putting the effort into it, and isn't a good mark," or set off, "Hm... I really need to give more to connect with this person."

The conversation at this point, I feel should go one of two ways... The person should put more into it, to draw the other person out (they could be a good scammer, or they could be a real person) or they could just kind of take the hint, and just kind of some form of just drifting off.

A comment which easily can be ignored... That's a good approach honestly.

Maybe I've decided this person isn't really worth discussing with. Like, not worth playing their game. It's kind of been a not fun one at this point.

I give a bit of an option here to connect. As a real person, they might go, "oh hey... yeah I can talk about some stuff..." '

I ask a pretty safe/neutral question. It's really interesting where it goes...

I knew the name Westworld, and thinking it's a movie, it felt like it was probably something I'd have gone and checked out. I couldn't remember what it was though...

The thing about that is, it's *not* a movie, and saying it is, wow, that's really weird... I can't say why.

Maybe I couldn't find the right thing? So I guess... OK let's see where this goes...

I try to suggest that maybe there's something that was called Westworld, which was a movie. Sadly... I either didn't communicate that well enough... Or whatever...

The Viking title... That is a problem (I looked for it, with little hope, as I expect there are lots of movies which someone might think of as "Viking" and indeed there are...).

I try to find something they'd like to talk about... Which... Oh... This gets interesting...

OK, didn't *miss* anything here, but failed to catch things as well as I would have liked.

I am looking to get to know this person, as a person... And maybe they don't really get that... That's generous... But yeah they want to only talk about their "business" and yeah, I'm not here for that.

Well, let's see where it goes from here...

I get a bit snarky... I'm tired of it, that I'm putting effort in, and it's not really getting appreciated.

I know... Maybe not looking the greatest at this point on my part... but it really feels there's no chance this is going to end with anything *better* than a, "wandering off into the ether" at best.

I'm giving a bit of a lead to indicate that I may well be missing something... And maybe I was. It never got sorted (yeah spoilers).

This person was *very* frustrating to talk to, and maybe I was too. I kept feeling it would go one way, then I'd respond to that...

Then it would suggest that I wasn't getting things, so I open to having it explained to me...

Then I get an "explanation" which brings us back to the same sort of response that I tried to respond that it wasn't OK...

And... Here they ask specifically what I'm talking about. So I'm pretty sure I start to explain my perspective.

Yes... Though the "who are you?" really comes across as, "who do you think you are, talking to me like this." I've had a few of those lately.

This is the top of a fairly full explanation of where I'm coming from. I think it's reasonable to explain at this point. And... So I did.

I point out that they've really given me nothing to talk about. That they seem to really only be willing to talk about what they get paid for.

It seems fair to me to consider that they really are only talking to try to draw in the "fish on the line." And I make it clear that I'm not that fish.

And that really they've not contributed anything that has lead me to really want to talk to them...

So... There's a response that they give... No real effort to explain, no effort to try to address anything I've said. Just the one liner... Which really is manipulative.

Do I have a problem with that? Well I could probably write like the entire amount I have here (original and my comments on the conversation) about how that's a problematic question.

No, I don't really have a problem with a person wanting to make money. That's not my problem.

So, I guess... The "problem" I have... Is the person who is wasting *everyone's* time, having a dull conversation. And I do kind of point that out... But not as clearly as I thought.

I do point out just how much of a problem the *response* to my explaining where I was coming from is. And...

This is why I feel this person is worthy of letting people know who they are...

They *will not* treat anyone kindly if this is how they treat someone who like myself who pointed out that I won't pay, who the person seemed to have no interest in anything other than being paid...

What if you *had* paid them? But weren't happy? How bad would they make it for you then? Probably much worse...

[ratatouillewastakendammit]

Regrets

Chapter 7

Next Chapter

Index/Warnings

After the day you had, you were a bit worried about the nightmares that would follow. Fortunately, you were way too tired. Sleep was just long and dark, just the way a good sleep should be.

Unfortunately, good things don't last long.

The mattress you were on was thin and flimsy, allowing the jagged rock from beneath to poke out slightly. It was probably just in case of emergencies since you guessed the Troupe didn't actually sleep here like some demented murder-school dorm situation. The tiny knot of pain flared in your brain when you sat up, a match pushed against the stiff paper of your skull to ignite it.

You jumped a little when you noticed you weren't alone, which also didn't help the headache.

Chrollo was sitting in a chair with one hand propping up his face, the arm supported by the seats handle. His legs were crossed and he was leaning back in a comfortable position. He was reading a book.

"Good morning." He acknowledged without looking up.

Your eyes trailed around the room, searching for any sort of window to hint as to what time of day it was. When you didn't find one, you reluctantly turned back to him.

"How long was I out?"

"Fourteen hours."

Shit.

"What do you want?"

"I figured you had questions." He snapped the book shut and placed it on the ground before standing up. "Am I correct?"

Yes.

You left out an annoyed huff.

He chuckled a bit at that, but continued moving closer to you. Thankfully, he stopped at a respectable distance, seeing that you weren't keen on being all that close to him. He got lucky yesterday since you were too tired to care. When you realized he was waiting for you to continue the mainly one-sided conversation, you looked up and began with the most important issue.

"What do you want with me?"

"In short, we're looking for the chain user."

"I won't be of any help with finding him or anything." You retorted, hoping to keep the conversation swift.

"That's alright, we know where he is."

They've already found him?

"Or, at least we know where he'll be." Chrollo took your confused expression as an indicator to continue. "In two days, he'll be in a small town in the Roto mountains. I'm sure you know what he's doing."

Your expression darkened slightly. "Then what do you need me for? I'll die before being used as some homing beacon so you can get to my friend."

"After that little show you put on yesterday I don't doubt you would. However, that's not why you're here. I assume you've been filled in on the consequence's of the judgement chain inside me?"

You nodded. "And I assume you've managed to find an exorcist?"

"With everyone still lingering from the auction, we were able to find someone to defuse your friends power enough for me to reunite with my colleagues. However, it was only sufficient to allow me use of my own abilities for a limited time. This particular exorcist requires the original castor to exterminate more powerful abilities, meaning I'd need to get in contact with the chain user again."

So that's why.

"Although we've been able to trace him, your friend doesn't stay very long in the same place." He continued. "However, I trust that with you there, we'll have enough time to allow the exorcist the remove the remaining nen."

"So, you need me to lie and distract my friend for your personal ability renewal?"

"Precisely."

You scoffed, a bit dumbfound, and folded your arms. "So you get your powers back. Then what, you kill him? Why would I ever help you?"

"For starters, I'll make sure no one from the Troupe interferes with either of you again, unless of course, your friend does someone else radical and decides to strike first. "

Although you remained steady, shock fazed through your previously spiteful tone as you carried on with questions of your own. "So, we really wouldn't have to worry about any of you? Even after the judgement chain is released?"

"No harm will come to you from anyone in this hideout, I give you my word. And as long as you're working for me, then I will also be able to guarantee your personal protection."

His words confused you. When you inquired why you would ever want to comply, the expected answer was something along the lines of 'we won't kill you.' Of course, the Phantom Troupe's amnesty was an insane benefit, especially after Kurapika succeeded in killing one of their members, whether it had been directly or not. However, would this be worth whatever he needed of you?

"I'm not gonna kill anyone. Or have anyone get hurt because of me."

The look he gave you was odd; it was calculating, yet interested. He took a moment to ponder it before giving you a response.

"Fine. I'll add onto our clause. As long as you're taking my orders, I won't kill anyone, unless they pose an immediate threat or you give me your permission."

This time, surprise actually did overtake you to the point where composure faltered; you blinked back, running his words over in your head to make sure they were heard correctly.

Of course, they could be just that: words.

It was pretty obvious he was a talented liar that hid behind the mask of a charming persona, but something told you that it wasn't a deception.

'I give you my word.'

Did you trust him? No, obviously not. However, something was off.

You still couldn't read his emotions at all, but your abilities weren't what were pushing you. This time, it was just plain intuition, nagging at you like a small child to make a bad decision. And it was probably a bad decision, an immensely stupid decision.

But you've made a lot of stupid decisions already.

"Alright, fine. Deal."

XxXxX

The next day and a half were tense.

A few of the Troupe members rotated the watch over you in order to prevent any attempts of escape. The act wasn't a surprise, but still unpleasant. You were already uncomfortable with them and having their eyes on you made it that much more awful, forcing a constant exhale of control over your own emotions. Some would try to make conversation or just plain snide remarks, but you didn't give them the time of day, refusing to even look in the direction of any of them.

Although you hated to say that you had one at all, your favorite member as of now was Machi, who didn't attempt to bother you very much. Instead, she would sit, gracefully balancing that iridescent silk between slim fingers. Neither of you were stupid and both knew she was quicker and much stronger than you, at least to the point where she could capture you without much fuss. So she kept her eyes on her hatsu, which was a refreshing change from the undignified feeling of being constantly babysat. Some might've even described it as a comfortable silence between the both of you.

It definitely wasn't friendliness, but rather a mutual agreement of respect between the two of you; you wouldn't try to run and she wouldn't bother herself with antagonizing you.

She was actually the one watching you when Franklin knocked on the door, letting you know that it was time to leave for the Roto Mountains. They were only a little over two hours away, so you went by car. Unfortunately, that also meant two hours in the car with the man you had come to know as Chrollo.

If you thought being constantly monitored within the hideout was bad, which you did, this was so much worse.

Troublesome emotions permeated the air like a poisonous gas, suffocating and heavy, much too overpowering for the confines of the vehicle.

His charming yet detached semblance made you squirm. It made it even harder that you couldn't begin to understand what lied beneath it. Knowing what others were thinking was like a safety net that allowed you to feel in control, or at least provided a heads up for when it was time to run. He had yet to seem hostile to you, but that made the apprehensive state of being in the dark more daunting.

On most long car rides, you took to the usual practice of napping, but you just couldn't with him.

Ignore, yes. Fully letting your guard down for an unprecedented amount of time? No way.

Instead, you did your best to disregard him, just focusing on the trailing foliage outside your window and letting your mind wander as far as it could without becoming overly careless. Still, you could never seem to escape the unnerving feeling of being so close to the Troupe's leader.

Thankfully, you at least had the barrior of a chair, with him being in the passenger and Nobunaga driving, yet another form of mental turmoil within the automobile. On the other hand, you sat next to the nen exorcist, a young man that went by the name of Abengane.

After what seemed like much longer than two hours, the small group finally managed to pull into a parking lot.

You surveyed the location, raising a tentative eyebrow. "A bar?"

"The chain user is giving payment to the man who tipped him off on the Kurta eyes location."

Your neck swiveled in the direction of the man in front of you, heart breaking just a bit at the unbothered way he mentioned the stolen body parts of your fallen kin. Of course, it was always easier to hide behind anger, so you answered with a curt,

"Fuck you."

And with that, you stepped outside of the car and made your way to the pub, slamming the door on your way out.

'The chain user is giving payment to the man who tipped him off on the Kurta eyes location.'

Yeah, I wonder why the fuck he had to do that in the first place.

Whatever, just get this over with.

An intense aroma of liquor and cigar smoke was the first thing that you noticed as you entered the bar, which now seemed more like a modern day speakeasy. Your nose unconsciously wrinkled at the fragrant assault. The room was dark and cold, despite the warmth of the many bodies inhabiting it or the fire blazing in the far corner. Although it certainly was loud, there was one voice you could make out over anyone else's.

"What are you doing here?"

XxXxX

You hadn't really been fond on letting Kurapika go after violently tackling him with an embrace. Of course, he had been momentarily stunned, and a bit apprehensive at the prospect of a possible assault, but after a few seconds he flung his arms around your back. Even though you weren't really known for hugs, it honestly seemed like the only thing you could do at the moment, and you allowed yourself to stay like this for a small while. Of course, Kurapika wasn't a very physical person in general either, so the fact that he himself indulged in it spoke to how much he missed you.

Now, however, you were both behind the bar, perched on a wooden picnic table Kurapika had led you too. The air was so much fresher than inside, giving you the chance to breath before jumping into dreaded conversation.

As you looked at the man in front of you, the pangs of ache and guilt were increasingly evident within his emotional aura, like little flecks of sorrow among the usual sheet of indifference. You weren't exactly keen on starting the discussion, but it was plainly obvious your friend was in the same boat.

"Why did you leave?"

He kept his head down, hands gripping one another a bit too harshly.

"Hey." You snuck a gloved palm over, entwining your fingers with his. "I'm not mad. I just... I just wanna know what I did."

"You didn't do anything. You've never done anything wrong." His eyes remained downward. "I just can't let you die."

"So, you left without telling me?"

"I didn't want to, but after everything with the Phantom Troupe... We have targets painted on our backs now, even with their leader out of commission."

"I'm sorry."

Regret swarmed through your body. Your leg began to bounce up and down like a jumping bean.

"It's not your fault. If you and Gon hadn't stepped in back then, I could be dead right now."

He's lying, just trying to make you feel better.

"No, not just for..." You let out a huff of frustration, not knowing what to say, or at least, whether to say it. Thankfully, he did.

"How did you even find me?"

"I heard about the movement of Kurta eyes a few cities away from here and managed to connect it to where you would come next." It was shameful how easily the lie slipped past your lips, but you still tried hard to make it believable. Despite your natural talent at improvising, Kurapika was always good at telling your fibs. "I'd been looking for a while."

He gave a lighthearted hum. "You never were very good at giving up, even when I was being foolish."

"Which is pretty often." You replied, happy that your prepared script was flowing into a more cheerful territory. "But you're still my best friend. I don't... I can't just sit and wonder if you're dead. And I know I'm not strong or smart or anything, but I want to help you, even if that means from the sidelines."

The offer made Kurapika him look up. But as you watched his hopeful expression pale into one of dread, it wasn't hard to understand something was wrong.

"What?" Then it hit you. "Shit!"

You had been so invested in the heartfelt conversation that you had somehow managed to ignore the tingly warmth of your eyes turning bright red.

Jolting upward, you smashed your hands against your face in a meager attempt to hide the abnormality. When they changed the usual feeling was that of fear, fear of any outsider noticing and somehow making a connection. Now, the only one you were worried about shared the same peculiar feature.

Said individual harshly grabbed your wrists before you could trip yourself over the bench. "Just try and calm down quickly. Did you forget to put in contacts today? Have you forgotten before?"

"No, I-I was-" forced to take them out by our worst enemy who I'm apparently in cahoots with. "Fuck!"

You had created the grand plan of giving however much time the exorcist needed and then hightailing it as far away from here as possible, but that was thrown out the window because of one stupid mistake and your uncontrollable emotions.

Fucking idiot.

He's gonna find out. He already knows something's up; maybe if you're honest it'll soften the blow.

I can't.

I need to think.

"Hey, stop."

What do I do?

Just calm down.

But you couldn't. Your hands were stilled by his, but at this point you couldn't stop panicking, anxiety you hadn't felt since his leave over half a year ago growing worse with every moment spent trying to decide what to say next.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

"What's going on?"

Mouth watering with verbal nausea, your brain cut to the nearest option.

"'Made a deal."

"A deal? Wait, with who?"

Guilty conscious is a self-accuser.

"Phantom Troupe."

He went silent, a cold and dark quiet that made your insides hollow as you waited for a response.

"You... you what?"

You can't stop now.

"They kidnapped me and said that they needed you to try and fix the nen dagger."

His hands dropped from yours and he backed away. "You're serious?"

You watched in despair as his expression turned sour, your heart becoming heavy as you realized how grave of a mistake you had let out into the open. The already-present panic began to grow bigger as remorse and worry hit you like a train. "They said... they said that they would leave us alone. And that they wouldn't kill anyone as long as I-"

"And you believed them?!" Shame washed over you, lowering your head as he scoffed.

"I... I know it sounds bad, but I just knew I could."

"How could you be so stupid?"

You tried advancing forward, but he backed away in disgust, like you were some contagious disease. Coherent thoughts transformed into slurred phrases as your downward slope of hysteria continued.

"I thought... I thought maybe we wouldn't have to worry anymore."

"What would Pairo think? And your mom? Huh?"

That was the breaking point.

Your heart shattered into pieces, carved out by the blade of his words. The dam cracks and tears begin to flow down your face when you look up at him. No matter how hard you tried to plug it back up, it just won't stop.

"No, no, no, Kurapika, please don't say that." You cried.

"Well, it's true! Isn't it?" He grabbed your wrist in an iron-clad grip. "They're dead because of the Phantom Troupe and you go off and make deals with them? Are you really that callous or just a fucking idiot?"

You tried to wriggle out of his painful clasp, but he held firm, eyes blazing so hard beneath his contacts that you thought they might melt away.

"This isn't her fault, you know."

Kurapika didn't turn around to meet Chrollo's eyes, but his grip somehow grew impossibly stronger. "Why should I believe you?"

"Because I have no reason to lie. We did kidnap her and I have no intent on forgoing our deal."

His expression remained unchanged, either still in disbelief or at the point where the words didn't make a difference.

"Kurapika, p-please! I'm s-so sor-"

"I'll find you again someday." He grunted, ignoring you. "And when I do, I'll make sure to slit each of your throats individually."

He finally dropped your wrist, turning around to leave. You made a move to grab onto him and make him stop, but he slapped your arm away without enough force to make you stumble and fall onto the floor.

"Don't touch me."

"Kurapika-"

"As far as I'm concerned, you're one of them now."

You tried pleading with him to come back, to not leave you again, but he didn't hesitate, leaving you to sob on the concrete flooring of the patio. The pavement scraped against your hands as you drew them into fists.

He's not coming back

He hates you

The world melted away through a veil of unseen voices as you drowned in turmoil, letting out a cry of what one could only describe as pure despair.

And here you are, blubbering like an idiot

You're nothing but a pathetic bitch

it's no wonder he doesn't want you anymore

Who in the world would?

Your head was beginning to hurt as you continued to weep, but it was nothing compared to the agonizing pain in your chest. Breathing became almost impossible, just becoming wet heaves between sobs that were enough to drown out the light footsteps coming closer.

They stopped right in front of you, causing you to glance up and see Chrollo. His tall stature was enough to block out the sun, casting a dark shadow over you that made you grimace.

"Fuck. Off." You spat.

But he merely tilted his head, like an animal wordlessly expressing their confusion, then knelt down, taking away the shade with him. The sun pierced through your still-crimson eyes and you glanced away, already missing his cool shadow and cursing yourself for it.

"What do you want?"

"Would you like me to wait in the car instead?"

You stilled at his words for a moment.

"What?"

"Do you expect us to leave you here?"

This made you look up, surprised, only to be met with his outstretched hand. The scene from a few nights ago, one where physical exhaustion weighed you down rather than emotional, replayed in your head. You were certain this was worse, though.

Regardless, he still held his palm out expectantly, every broken part of you begging to take it, to take some form of comfort in any shape.

"I don't need your pity."

"I wasn't offering it." But his stance remained firm.

You eyed his hand, looking for any sign of a trick, even though you weren't really sure you would care if that was the case. He gave you the time, waiting patiently for you to push him away. But some part of you just couldn't, at least, not now.

Where else do I have to go?

So, you stood up, fueled only by the hopeless weight flaming in your stomach. You ignored his hand, but followed back to the car nonetheless, not giving much attention to whether the decision would end up with you dead.

[prof-ramses]

Helluva Boss Apology Tour review

In retrospect, it's pretty funny that my expectations for this and The Full Moon ended up being reversed, the episode I expected to by focused on character interaction ended up being more action focused, while the episode I thought would be action focused ended up being mostly character interactions.

For those who just want my thoughts on the plot developments: Once again, I'm pleasantly surprised by how Stolas is handled, with a few moments sticking out for currently neutral reasons (it'll make more sense later).

Now, do get to the details:

I felt the opening sequence was slightly longer than needed, but I feel that was somewhat intentional, evoking a sense of unease.

The montage of the bulk of Blitz's apologies is a lovely tribute to what amounts to the first third of the show, this is easily the most callback heavy episode, but I'd say it feels earned given its place in the story. And I simply can't gloss over the brief acknowledgement of all the people who ship Martha and Mayberry, for someone like me, who has a love of those tongue in cheek fandom gags, it's a real good treat.

Speaking of references, don't think I missed Grandpa's cameo when Blitz gets to Earth, oddly enough, it's not even the characters first interactions with the hellaverse, as Brandon's channel has a sketch of Blitz and Moxxie going after Grandpa.

The song was perfectly serviceable, even if I'm not a fan of Bryce Pinkham's voice in general. I'll also take this opportunity to say I loved both the joke of an actual Blitz plush being burned and the brief shot of the last "party" Stolas attended.

The major point of the episode is obviously the conversation between Blitz and Stolas at the party, and I certainly have some thoughts on it. The first moment that stuck out to me was Stolas saying he wants someone to care about him and want him in their life, only for him to clarify a moment later that he meant it romantically feels like it was done to show that he's, at least on some level, aware that he's neglecting Octavia, which I can't wait to see catch up with him, hopefully by the end of the season. The second is when her doubles down on wanting to be wanted, the exact moment when I came up with this question:"Stolas why do you think no one wants you in their life?" And this is exactly what I hope is built on, Stolas has drowned himself in self pity for so long that there's very little to him as a person to the point that no one sees any real benefit in having any relationship with him, not just romantically, but platonically as well.

This is all building to my point, I'm genuinely starting to think that Blitz and Stolas' relationship will ultimately end on a mutually respectful break up, and if that does turn out to be true then I might genuinely end up somewhat respecting this plotline, despite the major road bumps in the first half of the season.

The last major point I want to hit is Verosika, who manages to be both more extreme and more subdued than before while still feeling completely natural. While I don't have any concrete ideas, I am very curious to see where her character goes in the future.

In conclusion, while I think I prefer The Full Moon, this is still a better episode than roughly half of season. I just hope they can keep it up in the last three episodes as well as the three shorts we'll be getting in July, August and September, which are indeed a thing, in case you weren't aware. That's all for now, feel free to leave any of your own thoughts below.

[undisputed-queer-a]

Kenny Omega's 'Close Friend' Kota Ibushi

As you may have seen Kenny Omega called in his boyfriend to protect him against the Blackpool Combat Club in AEW's third Blood and Guts match on the July 19th episode of AEW Dynamite. And I wish to once again stress that these two are or at least were a queer couple, because commentary made no reference to it calling them 'close friends'.

Now to be fair your bonafide top star being part of the LGBTQ+ community is possibly not the best look for a wrestling company, with wrestling mostly being seen as a masculine thing for straight men throughout the years (well also it's seen as a very homoerotic gay thing just ask EFFY he'll tell you. Like I think that most people imagining a wrestling fan they imagine a man although I'd be interested to see the actual statistics). Although AEW is the company that gave Antony Bowens a beautiful moment of declaring his sexuality on Rampage, so why can't the literal Golden LOVERS be presented as such. It's always funny to me when NJPW or AEW all but say the lovers are queer while announcing them as lovers through a microphone. Now maybe I'm greedy wanting more, I mean hey they're announced as the 'Golden Lovers' and they get to hug a lot so, but I'm not asking for them to dance to the ring to 'It's Raining Men' and have a live sex celebration on a pride flag I just want the shows to acknowledge it even slightly more. Omega and Ibushi have kissed so many times on wrestling shows, their matches are intensely homoerotic and among other things I could mention, Kenny Omega retweeted a tweet thread that repeatedly calls them a couple. So I don't know in my, possibly wrong, opinion calling them 'close friends' with no acknowledgement that it runs so much further than that isn't enough and I want more from AEW in the pair's upcoming weeks.

Also did you know that one of the Lovers' tag moves is a double 450 splash and they called this move the 'Golden Shower' have a nice time with that information.

This has been Undisputed Queer-a.

Slay The System, Shock The Cis-tem, and see you next Monday. Sources:

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10083296-aew-blood-guts-2023-results-winners-live-grades-reaction-and-highlights https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/s3ewd0/a_collection_of_kenny_omega_kissing_kota_ibushi/