#but like again I'd like it acknowledged slightly but that's just me. i at least appreciate all the affection his current writer-

[gothic-thoughts]

Scariest Promotion Ever

(im tired of hiding my love for him yall, Im coming out as a slasher lover)

Michael Myers x Black Fem Reader Fluff

MeetCute(?), Nurse!Reader, AsylumPatient!Michael

Part 2: Here

CW: Your first time meeting Michael and his threatening ass aura in person, hair pulling, fear, crying

Word Count: 1489 (give or take)

The guards opened the door and moved aside for me to enter but I was frozen. They looked at me expectantly, but all I could do was clutch my clipboard to my chest and tremble as my eyes search the dark room for the patient I was supposed to be watching. I look back at the guards, voice shaking. 

“W-why did the last nurse quit again...?”

The guards look at each other a little worried then back at me.

“Quit?” One asked.

“They... told me she quit.”

“Uh, sure... Technically she did "quit" the job... forever...”

“...What...?”

“He, uh...” The other guard joined in, “He didn't like her I guess.”

“They usually last a whole lot longer than she did. She was so scared of him that she barely spoke to him and...”

I gulp thickly, “And...?”

“He strangled her... before he removed her face...”

I gasp, turning to look back into the dimness of Michael’s room, the only light being the gloomy sunlight seeping through the barred window on the other side of the area. My breath catches in my throat and my stomach burns and bubbles with fear. The guards assured me that the door would stay open now when nurses visit him specifically because of the incident, hoping that I'd calm down.

But of course, my only thought was to make sure I talked to him.

I hesitantly step over the threshold of his doorway with the 2 guards remaining just outside to monitor me— or rather, monitor Michael Myers, making sure he doesn't kill me or at the very least become violent. His room is cold, dark, and... full of masks. I examine the few that I could see with the sun pouring in through the window before scanning the dark side of the room until my eyes lay on the eerily still figure sitting on the bed against the opposite wall. I gulp softly, swallowing my vomit at the stomach-tightening realization that he was most likely watching me since the door opened.

“Uh... H-hi Michael...”

No words. I couldn’t even see him blink because of that orange papier-mâché mask he was wearing. The only way I knew he was even alive was the slow rise and fall of his broad chest. His masked face never moved or turned, it stayed focused on me— analyzing me— before his head slightly tilted to the right. After a few more seconds of deafening silence, Michael slowly stands up, making my eyes drift upwards to watch him essentially grow until he’s standing at 6’9” making me realize another thing my boss left out about him— his fucking height.

“Wow... Um, I-I'm your n-new nurse... I'm just here to watch you and... a-and...”

When he begins to walk it scares a sharp gasp out of me, which he didn’t even acknowledge. His steps are heavy and threateningly slow so I back away at the same pace, hoping to somehow get to the door before he could hurt me. That’s when I heard the door slam with a small, muffled apology thrown my way; something about not wanting him to get out.

I shake, forcing myself to calm down enough until I feel the door against my back. Michael continues to get closer, towering over me as he is practically trapping me against the door, and he still hasn’t said a word. I flinch away, shut my eyes, and hold my clipboard in front of my face as some wack form of protection for it only for it to be ripped from my hands and tossed across the room with a clatter.

I yelp, tears brimming my eyes as I reach back and paw at the door, looking for the handle but Michael’s head tilts, an indication that he caught on before he swiftly grabs my wrist with one of his huge hands causing a terrified shriek to leave my lips. The guards bang on the door and call his name, trying to get his attention.

“Michael!” One called, "Michael stop!"

“Michael, get away from the door and leave her alone!”

“She’s just here to help you!”

“You gotta give her a chance!”

He still hasn’t spoken, just remained eerily still as he looked down at my tear-streaked face. After a few seconds, his free hand grabs the couple of box braids in front of my face tightly, fingers slowly rubbing up and down the duo-colored strands. I wince at the slight pain and shock before I look up at him with pleading eyes and hushed whimpers. He slowly lifts the braids higher to his face before letting them slip through his fingers to fall back to my chest. He firmly grabs them and lifts them again, the tautness in my scalp causing me to move closer to him in hopes of relieving it. I sniffle, watching him with confusion.

“Y-you like them..?”

No words— I don’t even think he heard me, but he keeps threading the thin, silky strands through his thick fingers. He suddenly yanks them to bring them closer.

“Agh!” I swat his hand away with my free hand, “That hurts!”

His hand suddenly stops moving and I begin crying again, trying to step back as my brain swirls with regret as I realize what I did. He suddenly encloses the 4 braids in a giant fist and tightens his hand on my wrist as I start to sob softly.

“No no no no no, okay... I'm sorry, okay?” I whimper, gasping for air, “I'm sorry, I’m so sorry... It was just instinct 'cause it hurt... y-you have to be gentle if you like them...”

He grunts under his mask then opens his fist, letting my braids drape over his index finger as he strokes it gently with his thumb. My eyes widen slightly; he actually listened.

“Y-yeah... Yeah, like that... There you go...”

He gently continues to run his fingers over the hair, letting out a much softer huff.

“U-um...” I wipe my tears, trying to stay calm, “They're called box braids... they're braided into my h-hair to protect it... A-and sometimes... it's a little tight on my scalp so it hurts when it’s pulled... that's why I swatted you... it was an instinct, I’m sorry...”

His head nods so slightly that I almost didn’t notice. He was listening to me... and he seemed to be following instructions. I continue to look up at his orange mask, my eyes occasionally drifting back to his large fingers playing with the four braids. I looked into the eyeholes of the mask in an attempt to see what his eyes looked like since his body language was much calmer now, meaning that hopefully, he was less likely to react. His eyes suddenly snap to mine, the cold, pale blue irises sending a chill through my body. Michael huffs heavily again, his fingers slowly leaving the braids to which I let out a sigh of relief.

“Uh, it's time for lunch... A-are you hungry?”

His head tilted before he released my wrist and backed up so I took it as a yes and slowly stepped out of the way of the door as I opened it, allowing him to step out with slow, heavy steps that made the guards back up and rest their hands over their tasers. But he just stands there, towering over us and staring down at me. Even when the guards call for him, he remains still. Eerily still. I look at the two guards, then back at the 6’9” killer, wondering why he opted to stare at me instead of walking with them.

“Um... Michael... I thought you were hungry.”

Silence. He steps a little closer to me.

“O-oh... Oh, you're following me...?”

A subtle nod is all it took for my body to completely relax at the realization that he liked me— or at least a whole lot more than his last nurse. I start slowly walking down the hall, looking over my shoulder to see Michael’s shaggy form following me like a big, dangerous shadow. His weight made his steps echo and his long legs made his stride much longer putting him surprisingly close behind. My eyes flickered back to him often, making sure he wasn't gonna get randomly violent as I tried to stay calm, knowing his eyes were on me the whole way behind that mask. Every step felt like he was getting closer.

Eventually, I arrive at a big cafeteria room, with many other patients eating their food at the tables before the guards take over my leadership role and guide Michael to the corner of the cafeteria to a secluded, metal room. They open the doors and Michael enters silently before sitting his imposing figure down at the table, huge legs spread wide for comfort as he settles in front of the food.

But he doesn’t make a move to eat it. He just continued to stare at me through the reinforced plastic of the window on the door, watching me, his eyes through the mask never wavering. I think he likes me more than I thought.

[forever-rogue]

Omg for miguel requests!! Can i request one where spider-reader is very bold and always flirting with miguel and one time he flirts back and she gets super flustered and doesnt know how to respond😭

Thank you so much!! I love your writing youre so talented

AN | No, but this concept was aces! I hope you enjoy 🥰

Warnings | [Suggestive] Language

Pairing | Miguel x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Spider-Man

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You could hear his angry footsteps before anything else and you braced yourself for his fury. Instead you busied yourself with looking at your suit to make sure everything was intact…or at least pretending to do so.

"What the fuck were you thinking!?" ahh yes, there it was. He was definitely angry, but you tried to keep it cool. You weren't about to admit that he made you nervous, even if the nerves were slight. You looked up from your sleeve and blinked innocently at him, "don't do that!"

"Do what?" You kept your voice sweet and soft, "what are you talking about, Miguel?"

"You - I - you are so infuriating!" he waved his finger in front of your face and you simply shrugged, "you never listen to me! I don't know why I even let you stay on the team!"

"Oh Miguelito," you gently reached up and brushed his hand out of your face. You were well aware of what he was talking about - you'd directly gone against his orders. But, to be fair, things had turned out just fine despite choosing your own method. It wasn't like you'd fucked up some cannon event, "everything's fine and no one got hurt!"

"But you don't listen," he sighed heavily, "that's the problem. And one day, it's going to get someone hurt. I'm not going to let you do that to anyone…or yourself."

"You're so cute," a dreamy sigh escaped your lips as you touched his face, brushing your knuckles across his cheek. He lightly slapped your hand away, "but you're going to give yourself wrinkles if you keep worrying."

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I," you raised your eyebrows and sighed at him, "I won't do anything bad and I'd never put anyone else in danger. You know that."

"One more fuck up from you and you're done," his voice was low and dangerous and you pulled back slightly, "I mean it. Just because you think you're so cute and charming doesn't mean I can't see right through you."

"Miguel," you looked at him with wide eyes, "I don't think I'm cute - I know I'm cute. But not as cute as you, handsome. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go and make a few suit adjustments."

"This isn't over!" His cheeks darkened as he watched you walk away. 

"I'd be disappointed if it was," you gave him a small salute, "see ya, Miguelito!"

He let out a sigh of exasperation as you walked away. It was definitely a challenge not to stare at your ass but he was just a man after all. So he definitely stared at your ass.

"Stop staring," Peter popped up behind him, causing Miguel to flinch, "just tell her you're in love!"

"I'm not…" he pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm not in love with her and I'm not doing this with you right. Get back to work, Parker."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been a few days since what you had decided to dub the incident had occurred. You'd more or less ignored Miguel, deciding to let him cool down on his own terms. You missed getting to give him a hard time and missed getting to tease him as you loved. 

The thing was, you didn’t hate Miguel. It was…quite the contrary in fact. Over the last year that you’d been working for the man, or on his silly little team as you liked to tease him, you’d found yourself getting more and more attached to him. You really liked him and you weren’t shy about letting him know. You thought you were being obvious, but apparently you weren’t obvious at all because he didn’t seem to get it. Or, if he did, he really wasn’t interested and chose not to acknowledge your moves. It was Miguel though, and you were sure he would have just told you…but then again, would he have? Maybe he was just a simple-”

“What’s wrong, princess?” you started at the sound of his low, gruff voice. You hadn’t heard him sneak up and his sudden appearance almost scared you off your chair. Clutching at your heart, you looked over to see Miguel leaning against the edge of your desk, a lazy smile on his face. You were stunned by both his appearance and his casual display of affection, and could only manage to open and close your mouth a few times, “cat got your tongue?”

“Miguel?” you looked at him with wide eyes, “w-what are you doing…here?”

“Just wanted to come and see my favorite girl,” okay, there was definitely something going on. You highly doubted you were his favorite girl (that was probably Jessica or Mayday), let alone his favorite anything, “I have something for you.”

“For me?” your mouth ran dry as he nodded. Was he flirting with you? Surely he couldn’t be, “what would that be?”

“Here,” he reached behind his back and pulled out what looked like your suit…only this was slightly different. He placed it on the desk in front of you before moving to stand behind you. His larger frame easily dwarfed yours, and that was something you tried to push out of your mind. You looked over the suit, trailing your fingers over the soft fabric, “I made some adjustments to it. I think you’ll find it easier to access web fluid and its got better repair tech. Something new Parker was working on.”

You let out a small breath of amazement; this was an incredibly kind gesture from anyone, spider-people did happen to be generous for the most part, but this was next level. You re-familiarized yourself with the pink, blue, and purple fabric. A smile crossed your features as you turned your head to look at him. You found him watching you intently, “thank you, Miguel. This is…amazing.”

“You’re welcome,” his voice was near your ear, causing goosebumps to erupt all over your skin, “maybe it’ll help you to listen next time, hmm?”

“Miguel,” you turned in your seat and found yourself face to face with him, noses almost brushing. Whatever you were about to say quickly left your mind as you looked into his pretty brown eyes. A sharp inhale escaped your lips and you noticed the smile on his face grow larger, “I, ugh…I…”

“Hmm?’ it was a small sound of the back of his throat as he regarded you. He reached up and touched your face, brushing his thumb over your cheek, “what’s up?”

“I umm,” you stammered nervously, trying to ignore the feeling of his skin on yours, “I gotta go. I-I think Peter needed me for something.”

“He’s out on assignment right now.”

“Mayday then,” you volunteered slinking out from under his arm and grabbing the new suit, You felt your entire face warmed up as he started to chuckle, “Mayday needs me-”

“She’s a baby!”

“And I love her,” you squeaked, “so I gotta help her!”

You took off before he could say anything else or fluster you even more. Something had gotten into Miguel O’Hara and you weren’t sure you could handle it. You weren’t sure you’d survive the man you’d longed after for so long returning those very same feelings. 

Well. This was going to get interesting.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You came to the decision, made after much contemplation and tossing and turning at night, that you were going to ignore Miguel. Not ignore completely but ignore his advances. If he did happen to flirt with you again, you weren't going to say or do anything. Not that you expected them…but, you know, just in case it happened.

When you got to the headquarters the next day, you kept to yourself, taking your coffee and making your way to your little assigned corner and refusing to make eye contact with anyone. Maybe if no one saw you, you could get away with being practically invisible. 

But the universe wouldn't have it, of course it wouldn't.

"Hello there," his voice was sticky sweet like toffee and that didn't land well with you. Rather it did land well in the sense that it shouldn't have made you feel the rush you were currently experiencing, "you look pretty today."

"I, ugh," you looked down at your outfit and shrugged helplessly. You were dressed simply in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals; nothing that you would consider exceptional, "umm…thanks?"

"What's wrong?" He knew exactly what was wrong, the bastard. He could probably hear the erratic and wild beating of your heart, "you seem…nervous."

"N-no," you shook your eyes but your wide eyes and pretty pout were anything but convincing, "just…tired?"

 "Are you sure about that?"

"No," you answered. You could have beaten around the bush all you wanted, but you knew that he wasn't going to give up. That wasn't Miguel at all. The best option - the only really - was to just come out and tell him the truth. Once it was all out, the chips would fall where they may, "why are you suddenly flirting with me? W-wait, are you flirting with me?”

“I am,” he admitted this so easily that it caught you off guard. You knew he wasn’t one to lie per se, but you didn’t expect him to just outright admit it. Confusion colored your features as you tried to get your mind to function again, “I am…flirting with you.”

“Oh,” you nodded and turned back to your computer screen before it all set in, “oh?”

“Oh,” he teased, reaching forward to brush some of your rogue locks of hair behind your ear.

“Why?” you reached up and wrapped your fingers around his wrist, gently pulling his hand away, “is it because I’ve been flirting with you?”

“It’s one of the reasons…among others,” alright. Now you were curious, even more than before, as to where this was going, “is that a problem for you?”

Nope. No. Nah. Not. At. All.

“Ummm…” you felt ditzy and dazy as you looked over at the handsome man. He really had you thrown for a loop, “I just…if I made you feel uncomfortable with it, I’m sorry. I never meant it to be mean or anything. I just…meant it.”

“Meant it?” he parroted as you swallowed thickly, “you meant it all those times you were flirting with me?”

“Y-yes,” your confession was soft and gentle as Miguel practically preened under your words. He wasn’t sure what answer he had been expecting, but somehow it wasn’t this one. He hadn’t flattered him with the idea that you would seriously like him, “I did - I do, Miguel.”

“Hmm,” he mused softly as you blinked at him with wide eyes, “do you want to know something?”

“Y-yes? Yes,” you nodded, tummy fluttering with butterflies and heart pitter-patter rapidly.

“When I’ve been flirting with you,” he leaned down so he was almost face level with you, “I’ve meant it too, princess.”

“No way,” disbelief flooded your veins as the first conclusion you came to was that he was lying. Perhaps this was all to get back for going against his direct orders during your last mission. That must have been the reason, right? You leaned away from him and almost slid off your chair as you rolled back to create a bit of distance between your bodies, “y-you’re lying. You have to be…”

“I’m not lying to you,” this time he was in disbelief. He’d never once lied to you…why would he start now?

“You have to be,” you sounded so pathetic as you grabbed your stuff and almost ran away, “you can’t like me like that!”

“Why not?!”

“I dunno, you just can’t!” you almost ran into Peter as you tried to get away, “sorry!”

Peter was dumbfounded as he looked between your quickly disappearing figure and Miguel, “what happened now?”

“I wish I knew,” Miguel exhaled heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “fuck.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You kept your distance from HQ for a couple of days after your embarrassing outburst. You had replayed that very moment over and over in your head, trying to see it from all different angles.

The only conclusion you kept coming to was that he was telling the truth. And that reality was hard to come to terms with at first…but then it was blissfully exciting. Miguel liked you! But then it was more like Miguel liked you…holy shit. 

But then you decided that more than anything, you needed to know the truth. 

You practically ran over to his office, causing the curious glances of other spider-people to follow you. You could hear their hushed murmurs, but didn’t stop to address them. News traveled fast around this place and you had no doubt that as soon as whatever happened between the two of you, the news would spread like wildfire. 

“Miguel!” you didn’t even bother to knock and announce your presence, bursting into his office without ceremony. He turned around to face you, a few different expressions crossing his features before settling on surprise, “I…”

“Yes?” suddenly every single coherent thought escaped your mind as you stared at him. He cocked his head to the side and looked at you expectantly.

“Did you mean it?” you whispered, taking a step closer to him, “the other day when you said you flirted with me because you meant it. Did you mean it?”

“Yes,” he promised, closing the gap even more, “of course I did. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Me neither,” you insisted, catching yourself, “lie to you, I mean. So…”

“So we’re on the same page now?”

“I think so,” you smiled hesitantly at him, and the two of you locked eyes for a few moments. 

Before you could stop yourself, you closed the little bit of distance remaining between your bodies before practically jumping into his arms. Almost as if he had known what you were thinking, he effortlessly caught you, wrapping his strong arms around you. You beamed at him, melting as you watched him practically glow at you. 

“I want to kiss you,” you touched his face, and he practically leaned into your touch, “may I?”

“You may-” you prevented him from saying anything else as you crashed your lips onto his, kissing him with a fierce determination and eagerness. 

Neither of you dared to pull back until you were both breathless, looking at each other through hazy eyes and soft smiles. He gently set you back on the ground and you stared up at him. 

“Do you want some more honesty?” he asked gently, stealing a few more kisses, which you eagerly gave him.

“Of course.”

“I plan on doing that a lot more,” and yeah…that made you practically jump his bones then and there, “if you’re down for it.”

“Yes,” that came without hesitation, “I definitely am.”

“Better close the door then,” you did as you asked, looking at him with round, eager eyes, “you know how nosey they can be.”

“The nosiest…”

“Now, c’mere,” he held his hand out to you, “and let me prove I wasn’t lying to you.”

“Yes, please.”

[abookloverlmao]

When you’re lost in the darkness look for the light—

warning: father-daughter relationship, mention of death, depression, school shooting, swearing, heavy topics, blood, kidnapping, reader is 19 years old or early 20s, family loss, trauma, ANGSTY!

My birthday passed and I miss my dad and love Price so here you have this angsty piece, grab tissues, you have been warned!

🤍

Price is a father- was actually.

Father of 10 year old Ruby who passed during a school shooting, did it take toll on his life? Yes... yes, it did.

Did he get married and have another kid? absolutely not. Always just a one night stand.

Price never thought he would have a kid, hell even handle one ever again after his was gone, his sweet Ruby– until.

A sarcastic and violent fourteen year old holding a sniper gun and hidden away from the world in a cabin a little away from the base that was attacked appeared.

At first like a pain in the ass but as times went by, she became the rest of his uncompleted soul, like the light in his dark life.

From being a smartass to him, to being a soldier under his wing.

And being a soldier under his wing means getting into trouble sometimes and getting yelled at by him, he didn't want to lose the one girl who like his Ruby.

After almost getting shot, she found herself in Price's office listening to his scolds, staying silent and moving the pen across the paper knowing better than to argue back.

“I know I ain't your damn dad, do I need to tell Ghost to always keep an eye on you because you can't take care of your own self?” He sneered causing her to stop and look up, giving him a frown.

oh…

it was always her saying that she knows he’s not her dad sarcastically just for him to retort back a “do you?” but she never thought it will be the other way around.

she stayed silent before opening her mouth to murmur a small “do you?” now that made him freeze.

His gruff demeanor softened a little but then hardened and he scoffed, running a hand through his hair.

“I…” he started, Price's brow furrowed, and he leaned back in his chair, massaging his temples, "Don't get all sentimental on me, kid," he grumbled, his tone gruff.

“I ain't got time for that shit. Just do your job and stay out of trouble, understood? you need to start acting like a grown ass,”

But despite his harsh words, there was a subtle warmth in his eyes as he looked at her, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that had formed between them.

Y/N did nothing but nod and huff sinking back on her chair, “fine.” he glared at her, “understood?” he repeated again causing he to stand up and walk towards the door.

“understood, old man, but if anything ever happens to me then just to let you know I did it like a grown ass. I’m a woman now, ain’t asking for help ever again,”

Price watched her leave, a mixture of frustration and affection swirling within him. He let out a gruff chuckle, shaking his head as he muttered to himself, “Stubborn little shit,”

he knew she liked him too much to stay angry at him, hell he saved her ass too many times and she saved his soul, she always came back to apologize for being stupid but this time she did come to see him before heading out with a boy she met a year ago.

a fling.

Price met him, but didn’t trust him, hell he hated the thought of the girl he raised meet a guy- well at least he watched her grow and become a woman not like his… never mind, Y/N will always remain the sarcastic fourteen year old to him.

his little shit who called him old man.

his light when he’s lost in the darkness.

Y/N knocked, peeking in, “hey… i’m heading out with Alexei to the cinema, just came to let you know,” she said with a small smile walking towards his desk.

Price looked up from his paperwork, his expression unreadable as he met her gaze, “Going out, huh?” he grunted, trying to mask the twinge of unease in his chest.

Y/N nodded, her smile faltering slightly under his scrutinizing gaze, “uh huh, just thought I'd let you know,” she replied, her tone casual.

Price's jaw tightened as he studied her, a thousand thoughts racing through his mind, "Be careful," he finally muttered, his voice gruffer than usual.

Y/N's smile widened, genuine gratitude shining in her eyes, the childish twinkle he bought back after horrible shit with her abusive asshole of a family, “I will, cap. Promise.” everyone knew the; don’t promise something you can’t keep, rule.

As she turned to leave, Price couldn't shake the feeling of dread that settled in the pit of his stomach. “and kiddo?” he called out, his voice softer now.

She glanced back at him, a question in her eyes.

“Come back in one piece, back to me, alright?” he said, the vulnerability in his voice betraying his tough exterior.

Y/N's smile softened, a flicker of sorrow crossing her features, “always do, old man,” she replied with the brightest grin, she then stopped by the door.

“hey John… look, i’m sorry for being a bitch with you earlier when you’re just trying to look out for me, and you know that I love you right?”

Price's heart skipped a beat at her words, a lump forming in his throat as he struggled to find the right response. "I know, kiddo," he managed to choke out, his voice thick with emotion. "And... I'm sorry too. Just... be safe out there, okay?"

Y/N nodded, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I will, John. I promise." never break that rule kids. 

With one last glance, she disappeared out the door, leaving Price alone with his thoughts and a gnawing sense of dread that refused to leave him.

But despite his fears, he couldn't shake the feeling of love and pride that swelled within him for the young woman who had become like family to him.

“give me a call once you’re there!” he called back loud enough for her to hear and make her chuckle.

–•–•–🤍–•–•–

first call was right before the movie, Alexei said hello, but now it has been 3 hours with no response from her.

no movie is 3 hours… especially not Romeo and Juliet.. Price searched up the timing of the movie of course, his paranoia ate him alive, but then… it went to 48 hours of no news from her.

he looked everywhere for her, yelling for the cops to search for her and his crew, driving around and hacking her phone just to find it in a car abandoned in an alleyway.

not a sound, not a sight of her, she just… vanished– no way was his Y/N running away, she was happy with him, Price can feel himself losing his sanity minute by minute, cops looked everywhere around, his crew asked, searched, he looked even in the woods under the rain.

until 71 hours later, 2 days and 23 hours later… he got a call from a random number, Price stopped his crews and put his phone on speaker, “hello? kiddo? is that you?” he started but was cut off by ragged breaths, like someone was shot in the lungs or was badly hurt.

“dad?” she started between heavy yet rapid breaths, “Y/N?” Price's heart raced as he listened to her ragged breaths. “Where are you? Are you okay?”

for the first time she called him dad and it wasn’t in a sweet way, it was filled with fear like her life depended on it.

Price's voice shook with worry as he waited for her response, his crew hanging onto every word, “I’m in trouble, Dad,” Y/N gasped, the sound of fear evident in her voice. "I don't know where I am... They took me... I'm scared."

static can be heard in the background like shuffling causing him to wince and push the phone away from his ear.

Price's mind raced, his hands trembling as he clutched the phone. “Y/N, stay calm, baby girl, We'll find you. Tell me, can you see anything around you? Any landmarks?”

Y/N's voice was strained, “I-I don't know... look, Alexei is with the Russian gang, he’s a spy, he has always been- I shouldn’t trust him, hack this phone, and his real name is Dimitri Smirnov, was in jail for 3 years because of “you” apparently, I managed to knock him out but please for the love of god…” she took a deep breath, oh so shaky, it’s like her soul was slipping away by the second, after each inhale.

As her voice trembled through the phone, each word seemed to carry the weight of her suffering.

Her breaths were ragged, shallow gasps punctuated by the sound of her struggling lungs. Pain dripped from her voice like blood from an open wound, seeping into the airwaves with every strained syllable.

well she was bleeding from the side, hell she was bleeding all over in this random ass cabin freezing to death and holding her side for dear’s life at the corner with his phone in hand as Alexei laid unconscious– or should she say Dimitri, hell she couldn’t even move to kill him, the chains did hurt like a bitch.

“I want to go home… cause i’m fucking bleeding out and I don’t know if I’m living, please Price, please… just..”

yeah she’s dying, definitely dying…

her essence fading like a flickering flame in a gust of wind, voice trailing off in the distance same way her essence did…

The static in the background mingled with her gasps, a cacophony of agony and desperation that echoed in Price's ears like a haunting melody.

he won’t forget this- ever, whoever in the heavens listening to him and watching over him seemed to like the sight of his suffering, hell he knows he won’t ever forget those ragged breaths of hers.

it will haunt him for the rest of his life.

“come take me home,” her voice cracked with anguish, the weight of her words bearing down on Price like a heavy burden. It was a slow, agonizing descent into darkness, her lifeblood draining away with each passing moment, leaving behind only the hollow echo of her pain.

with that the line cut off, Price barked orders, tracking down her phone, and as soon as Gaz found the location they were off.

a haunting location, a house in the middle of the woods, burning from the inside.

Price froze, but then in a second, he raced towards the back of the house where the fire still hadn't reached the spot, kicking the door with all his force with his men behind he could feel his heart hammering as his eyes moved around in desperate search of her.

as soon as the door opened a sharp whiff of smoke hit his face, causing his eyes to squint and become watery, he coughed a little but that didn't stop him from moving in, calling out her name.

but then Ghost called him from one of the ends of the hallways, "hey cap! You might wanna see this!" he said through his mask causing Price to walk towards the man who pointed at the chains on the ground leading from the kitchen all the way through the fire and to the attic room.

Price's heart sank as he followed the trail of chains, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have happened to her. The flames roared behind him, threatening to engulf the entire house, but he pushed forward, determined to find her.

fine running through fire was a stupid idea but he wasn't burned or caught by the fire surprisingly, instead, he walked down the stairs but Ghost was quick to catch up stopping him from doing anything crazy when the door to the attic room opened.

"get out of my way, lieutenant," an order.

"let me check first," was all Ghost said before the masked soldier reached the entrance to the attic room, it wasn't locked... Simon took a deep breath, bracing himself for what he might discover inside, preparing for the worst.

gun in hand, the other reaching to push the door so slowly so he could sneak in just in case the "killer" might be by the door ready with a gun or a knife or even a brick.

however, the scene before him sent pure fear through his veins, horror gripping him alive, the room was dimly lit by the flickering flames, casting eerie shadows on the walls but the air was heavy with smoke and the acrid smell of burning wood.

and Simon was never one to be easily shaken.

he even forgot to point the gun around just in case of an attack, his eyes landing on the body in the center, empty eyes staring right back at him, barely blinking.

Ghost wanted to throw up, for the first time ever after millions of missions, he wanted to throw up at the sight, not at her... but the state she was in.

On the ground, beaten so badly, covered in blood from head to toe that he couldn't even recognize her features until his eyes landed on the earrings, twinkling, but with drops of blood still.

his breath hitched the more he took her in, the once nice shirt she wore ripped at the sleeves and top, barely warming her up, a hand chained while the other was on her side, ankles on the other hand both were chained keeping her from moving.

a bloody golf bat by her head, the hair she straightened, now curled and damp, spreading around and dirty thanks to the thick pool of blood— a bloody golf bat by her fucking head- the fucker had beat her to death until she was paralyzed with a fucking bat, not only that, but she was either shot or stabbed to the side.

her breathing- oh her breathing was- ragged, her cheek pressed to the ground and eyes staring right at his slowly losing the sparkle of life, slowly, god he couldn't imagine the excruciating pain she was in if her eyes were still open.

tears racing down the side of her face, pushing some of the drops of blood away.

Ghost's heart clenched with a mixture of rage, sorrow, and helplessness, and finally, he knelt down beside her, his hands trembling as he reached out to touch her cheek, feeling the warmth of her fading life, blood coating his gloved fingers as soon as he reached for her.

The weight of the situation bore down on him, and he struggled to breathe, his body shielded her face from Price who would probably drive himself to madness if he saw her.

his daughter-

"Stay with me," Ghost whispered, his voice choked with emotion, "We're here now. We'll get you the help you need. Just hold on. Price is here- John's here..."

she tried to open her mouth and whisper something but only her fingers twitched and her lips parted, words turned into nothing but rough breaths.

"Lieutenant?" oh shit- oh no what should he do, Price was calling out for him, what should he fucking do? no response. he just.. stood and took a step back.

Price frowned, eyes moving to his gloved hand, a drop of blood, thick and so red landed on the wood, but when Simon didn't respond to his call only stared at the body.

He moved to the side, but then his breath caught in his throat, eyes widening in disbelief and horror they almost popped out. His mind struggled to make sense of the unimaginable truth before him.

It was his little shit lying there, battered and broken, her fragile form barely recognizable beneath the blood and bruises. The world around him seemed to blur as he fought to comprehend the magnitude of the atrocity committed against his precious girl.

Every fiber of his being screamed out in agony, and he felt as if his heart had been ripped from his chest.

and he moved, running to her side, collapsing on the wood, and reaching for her, taking his sweet Y/N in his arms, he held her against his chest and he swore he could see the way her eyes lit up as soon as she was in his arms.

Price could barely recognize her features, so he reached a shaky hand to brush her hair away from her face and with his sleeve, wiped the blood away carefully without hurting her even if it was painful even holding her, she didn't wince, but just stared, relaxing in his arms, breaths still fast but they slowed down as her fear evaporated like it was never there.

and she opened her mouth, mumbling the tiniest, "Hi old man..." Price almost sobbed at that, tears threatening to spill, yes he was emotional, for fuck's sake, "Hey kiddo... you're fine, just, try to talk to me we'll get you help," he whispered holding her, supporting her head like she was a baby instead of an eighteen-year-old woman.

He reached to push the strands of curls that clung to her bloody face, revealing a glimpse of her delicate smile. It was a bittersweet sight, pain, and fatherly love together.

With a trembling voice, Y/N managed to utter a few more words, her words barely audible, but Price leaned in closer, desperate to catch every syllable.

"come on, captain, scold me, it's better than this look," she whispered between ragged breaths, her voice weakened by the ordeal she had endured, tears streamed down Price's face as he listened to her brave words.

He couldn't fathom the depth of her courage and resilience in the face of such brutality. His grip tightened around her gently, as if trying to transfer his strength to her fragile form.

"I'm not scolding you at all, kiddo, never again," he said, he promised– as if that would make her stand and heal.

it won’t. it certainly won’t.

her vision grew blurry, the body heat slowly vanishing and colder then ice, black spots surrounding her vision, she didn’t know what to say.

"you’re my home, old man…" she whispered feeling her eyes flutter on their own, she wasn’t controlling her body, Price noticed and tried to shake awake talking about how she shouldn’t leave him or whatever, she couldn’t hear a single thing as peace slowly washed over her.

with weak knees she pushed herself using her tiptoed closer so her face in buried in his arm and his scent greets her into a warm embrace.

"no no no no- kid. stay awake," she would’ve laughed, joking about how he gives her orders even when she is on the verge of death.

"you’re my kid… you’re my home," he whispered both to her and to himself, so he doesn’t lose his sanity, to convince himself, he shifted so he will hold her in his arms into the tightest hug while her body is growing limp.

her breathing were ragged and as soon as he shifted and held her head against his shoulder, holding her head, it slowed down… and then stopped.

just stopped.

Price was frozen, heart shattering into so many little pieces, "Y/N? kiddo?" he asked shaking her a bit but as he glanced to the side, her eyes emptily staring up, lifeless, twinkle no longer there, no breathing escaping her mouth or nose, lips parted, head falling back, he knew.

his Y/N was gone, his sweet baby girl, in his arms, her bloody hand holding on his sleeve like it always did loosening and falling limp on her side.

Yet another soldier, yet another daughter vanishing from his arms and his life like a dying light, like a dying star, like dust in the wind.

well that’s life… ups and downs. never make promises you can’t keep kids.

Never

***

I hope you enjoyed it guys!! edit is shit but the story ruined me! please let me know what you think🤍

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (14) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n wait wait let him cook (imola)

masterlist | last part | part 14 | next part

INSTAGRAM

oscar piastri just posted to their story

TIKTOK

comments

FOLLOW UP QUESTION, WHICH RACE ????

something about a formula 1 driver and a rockstar having like the most normal story of meeting is hilarious

"took me a while to actually start dating her" i'm deadddd, u pulled her in the end tho bro

best relationship on the grid, i would die for them

didn't win the race but won her number, u have ur priorities straight

y'all gas her up too much it's not like she's that big a deal 💀 ↳ she's at least ten times more famous let's be fr for a sec, most of the world doesn't know what f1 is but they've probably heard one of lina's songs on the radio

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 1 mo. ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

fantstic013 · 12 hr. ago reviving this post bc of oscar's tiktok; they met at a race, which race??? when did lina attend a race?? whatthekermitdid · 11 hr. ago her f1 race debut (her words, not mine) was literally suzuka last month so i'm just as confused niaphilia283 · 11 hr. ago she might have done it behind the public's back. i think we all know that lina is only seen when she wants to be seen; we basically only saw her at scheduled events for the entirety of 2020-2023 like where was she even? what was she doing?

luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago ppl out there scrambling wondering which race but it has to at least be from the 2023 season bc i bet my whole life savings that their talking period was like 3 months so the new proposed meeting is like... abu dhabi grand prix (at the very least) which was back in december 2023

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 4h still not over last night's show... the shit was phenomenal, it the cherry on top ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 4h i don't think we acknowledge how masochistic t*mmy must be to follow lina around europe and enduring those 2 hour shows where almost every song is the biggest middle finger to your existance; personally, if a song like aconite was written about me, i'd just never show my face again

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 5h oscar's story??? sir are you talking about the actual view or the stunning woman on the balcony?? it's important that i know

president linami @ linaminami · 6h 24 days since lina's posted on any of her socials... i can't believe i miss her unserious ass so much 🥲

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "oscar could do so much better" respectfully how do you get better than selina fucking bui? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "he should be with someone like him" she's australian, she's born in 2001, she's got cat energy, she loves sleeping and chocolate, she's slightly unhinged, she's known as a prodigy in her field, she keeps down low and most importantly, she's hot as shit, what more do you want

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h he called her his lucky charm 🥺 i love them so much 😭 ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h wait lina?? where's this from?? i have terrible signal and no videos are loading ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h it's from a video of them entering the paddock, someone asked him what's its like to have her at a race again and he grinned and said she's his lucky charm ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h WAIT NO THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 4h WE'RE SO BACKKKKK

↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 4h that lucky charm must be working 👀

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 34m OSCAR PIASTRI P2 START YES YES YES

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 21m oh he was not kidding when he said she was his lucky charm ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 20m i'll have whatever he's having bc he was like a cat on steroids

jess @OPIXSTRI · 28m we were so close to a maiden pole why is it always a fucking haas ruining everything

Jonny @EB_jonno · 32m @ OscarPiastri Mega quali mate, way to absolutely send it (don't give Lina too much credit)

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri Autodromo Enzo e Dino Ferrari di Imola

liked by cameliazzz and 218,496 others

oscarpiastri Well, it was fun while it lasted 😂

opeightyone Time to have better fun tomorrow then

cameliazzz i bet she found it hilarious ↳ oscarpiastri @ cameliazzz She found the timing hilarious, she was pretty upset it happened

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 3h oscar piastri is now incredibly familiar with the rear wing of that ferrari it's just a shame it's the hideous hp logo

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h LANDO??? LANDO OML U ARE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h i mourn the mclaren double podium we could've had... ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h what matters most is that oscar finished ahead of sainz, i'm a happy woman

ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 21m the most iconic cousins are having dinner together in imola after the race

tagged: 周冠宇 | Zhou Guanyu 🇨🇳 and lina !!! ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 5m oscar finally let lina out of his sight this weekend?

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant and 264,586 others

oscarpiastri En route to Florence (got really sidetracked)

amelia_belrose who gave them the right to be so cute?

pi4str1 the anticipated road trip happened 🥺 ↳ linasgirl4 @pi4str1 from a mention in a rolling stones interview to reality, they did it guys 🫶

opeightyone Nice quick break before the double header

siera_mblanc he's never looked so boyfriend before this is insane, the girlfriend effect is slowly kicking in

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h something real funny about oscar driving down to florence with lina to spend a day or two before having to helicopter over to monaco by wednesday for the mclaren senna tribute livery/monaco gp promotions like 😭 OSCAR, BREATHE A LITTLE ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h idk how u think this is lina hate, it's just me pointing out that oscar had found a gap in his schedule and immediately went: i'm spending as much time as physically possible with my girlfriend before they forcibly drag me to monaco

Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 4h Searching my family tree to find any trace of Monégasque roots ↳ Charles Leclerc @Charles_Leclerc · 1h I can adopt you if needed ↳ Jonny @EB_Jonny · 13m did we just become in-laws to the leclercs???

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h oscar piastri-leclerc 😭

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha @sp1rl @destinyg237 @iloveyou3000morgan

[koishiro]

# - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 📍

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : after meeting megumi’s dad, you’ll experience a night at the lake you’ll never forget

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : dilf!toji x non-virgin!reader

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : short smut with the tiniest plot ever

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 : cumming inside (readers on bc), oral (male receiving), cheating (toji’s married)

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 : this is in a different universe where toji isn’t a complete dick to megumi and is a responsible parent (shocking I know) but still doesn’t completely get along with megs

Part 1 | 2 | 3

masterlist | jjk masterlist | anon masterlist

He was the first guy to ever get his cock to that place in the back of my mouth where it can slip into my throat.

It was an exhilarating discovery, learning there's a whole new thing out there to try and do. I was surprised no one had tried this with me before, from what I can gather after the fact it seems very popular with men, but they're too intimidated to try it in real life, or at least initiate it.

My friend, Nobara, had a lake house (which was really open to anyone, giving access to fishermen and, like us, a spot for hookups) about an hour away from our school. We'd go there a few times through the years with our group of friends which usually revolved around myself, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and whatever guys we were dating/crushing on at that time and spend the weekend playing drinking games and daring each other to go skinny dipping. It was every students dream.

I'd met Megumi’s dad a few times since I'd known him. I met him the same day I met ‘Gumi, walking past his dorm I saw his dad lugging heavy furniture into his dorm, sweaty and attractive — in a rugged, masculine way. I had found out later that his name was Toji.

"Has anyone ever told you your dad is really hot?" I asked Megumi when we were both sat crossed-legged on his bed that night, figuring a little salacious question asking would bond us, "Ha ha, are you one of those girls? I don't get the whole "hot dad" thing. They're just old.”

Figuring I had hit a sore spot, It was the last conversation we had about him, but it definitely wasn't the last time I thought about him. I always made sure to dress my best when I knew he was stopping by. Little dresses only a freshman would wear, low cut tank tops and once — when I was especially bored — a sheer white t-shirt with no bra underneath because, "whoops" I had just rolled out of bed.

It was a fun game to play but I didn't think he ever noticed, or at least he never really acknowledged me until one of those debaucherous weekends when ‘Gumi and his dad got their messages crossed and we all ended up at the lake house together. At first it was uncomfortable when we arrived and saw the trucks, Toji was there accompanied by some other men. They had planned a weekend for drinking. But, Toji gave us a wink and told us to stay on the lower level and he'd stay out of our way. Everyone felt relieved and told ‘Gumi how lucky he was to have a "cool" dad. But I felt something else when Toji winked at us.

That night, after many, many drinks I found myself wandering out to the dock. Everyone else had passed out, but I was wide awake. I saw Toji approaching me from the windy path down the hill from the cabin, two bottled beers in one hand. He handed one to me wordlessly, searching my eyes for something — the reason I was awake and alone maybe.

We stood there silently until he stepped forward and brushed my hair off my face, "You're a beautiful girl, (name), don't think that goes unnoticed" I blushed, could he tell I was harboring a crush on him? Did he notice the way I jerked slightly at his touch, nervous about my body's powerful response to it?

"Thanks Toji," I said, taking a swig of my beer and looking at the moonlight reflecting over the waves. When I dared to make eye contact with him again I realized he hadn't moved, he was still watching me intently. Did this mean — before I could finish my thought, he was on me, one hand placed very firmly on my lower back the other in my hair as he kissed me. His tongue was in my mouth before I knew what was happening, tracing mine. I had the urge to wrap my legs around him, but there was nowhere to balance on this dock.

"Come up to my bedroom" It was a request, but it was also a statement, he was sure of my answer.

I giggled when we crossed the threshold and closed the door behind us. It wasn't just that when he grinned and you could see the wrinkles around his eyes, it wasn't just the physical attraction. It was his demeanor, it was that he was a real live man, not a flimsy college boy. This was going to be a different kind of hook-up.

"You're married," I reminded him, not particularly pleased about remembering this detail myself.

"I can keep a secret," he said, closing his mouth on mine again, and backing us to the bed.

He removed all my clothing fairly quickly and laid on top of me, fully clothed. The rough textures rubbing against my bare skin felt incredible. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he rasped out. "I've waited for a very long time”

I wanted to prove that I was worth it, all this risk. So I reached up and felt him through his pants, staring longingly into his eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head as I unbuckled, unzipped, and released a very healthy looking cock.

I slid off the bed and onto the floor to get a better angle and he stood over me, gathering my hair behind my head as I started blowing him. I looked up at him and was rewarded with a face that was most definitely in ecstasy as I took him in my mouth.

He held my head down on his cock while I took him in deeply. This was a move widely hated by every woman I knew, but it was usually performed by dumb frat-type boys. But Toji was no boy, he knew what he was doing, he was looking out for me and making the experience short — just long enough to add a bit of excitement. When he pulled out of me he gave me his all too cocky grin and leaned down to kiss me, “I knew you'd be good at this”

He pulled me up and walked me over to a dresser placed underneath a large window. I could still see the moonlight on the lake as he bent me over it. Was it really just a few moments ago we were nearly strangers on that dock together? I was brought back to reality by Toji spreading my legs further apart and pushing my upper back down until my bare breasts were pressed against its cool surface and I felt him enter me.

"Oh my god..." I couldn’t help but moan as he thrusted into me. He shushed me by placing his hand over my mouth for a moment as he picked up speed. My moan was apparently too loud but he was willing to risk the loud sound it made as he slapped my ass over and over, groaning and filling me with his cock. I couldn't believe how turned on this was making me. I was no virgin but I'd never experienced sex like this — it wasn't awkward or embarrassing or rushed. I was very aware that I was getting fucked by a Man, not "fooling around" with a boy.

"Are you on birth control?" He asked and when I answered yes he cooed, "good girl, my good girl" The sound of that phrase coming out of his mouth sent me over the edge and I felt myself spasming around his cock as I released myself into my orgasm, even enjoying the sensation of a bit of extra liquid rolling down my thigh.

He was still thrusting into me rhythmically, alternating between kneading my breasts and grabbing — and slapping — my ass. I hadn't had sex last this long before and I loved being able to savor the feeling. "I'm getting close," he groaned and I tensed my body up, holding my place more firmly so that he could get deeper inside me as he unloaded his semen into me.

"You're so good at this, but I can tell you're just a beginner," He began as we laid on his bed to rest. I laughed, it was true. I had this fantasy about being a girl who gave amazing head and being really good at all the sex stuff, like some kind of femme fatale men couldn't resist. "I can sense you want to learn though” I nodded in agreement. I could play out this crush and learn what would drive my next actual boyfriend wild — who wouldn't want to kill those two birds with one stone?

And so, I began a year-long affair with Toji. We'd sneak away for a weekend when I said I was visiting my parents and meet at the lake house for lessons — how to stimulate differently for a long or a slow blow job, which positions let him get in the deepest while still providing some kind of external stimulation for me, how to prepare for and receive anal, how to lie with my head falling off the edge of the bed and allow him to push his cock into my throat (without choking). Occasionally I just gave him head while he drove me around, careful not to drive anywhere too well-lit or populated.

Now, how was I to tell Megumi?

—

Part 1 | 2 | 3

[solalunar-eclipse]

Okay. Okay, I don’t normally do this, but I’ve been wanting to do some sort of analysis post recently and the Sonadow shipper inside me grabbed me by the throat and pointed in Netflix's direction, soooooo...let’s have a look at some clips of Sonic and Shadow interacting in Sonic Prime, shall we? (Putting this under a readmore because of all the images.)

The first clip comes from this post. (I don't know how to add that particular gif to my post, or else I'd put it here too, but oh well. I'm analyzing the first one, to be specific.)

So, we begin with Shadow walking away, saying “We’re going after Nine”.

Sonic then reaches out to stop him (with his right hand, despite the fact that he has to reach all the way across his own body to do so, possibly suggesting that Prime!Sonic is right-handed?). This seems to be just before Shadow’s noticed, because he’s still moving forward, looking resolved now that he’s decided what to do.

Shadow sees Sonic’s hand, and looks at it with an expression that seems…mildly irritated, but not outright angry. It’s about halfway between his “resting grumpy face��� and his “actually angry face”, in my opinion.

He looks over at Sonic himself with a slightly angrier face (mainly made evident by the fact that the point in the middle of his brow is actually touching his muzzle instead of resting above it).

Then he looks back at Sonic’s hand again (in a pose that I swear is slightly different from the last one even if it doesn’t look that way). The only real difference is that he’s just looking down a little more. The effect of these last three images in actual motion, though, is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it glance at the hand, up to Sonic, and then back to the hand. It's sort of a "huh-what-huh?!" motion, I think. To me, this gives off extremely strong “what the heck is even happening right now?!” energy.

For completion’s sake, I’m going to finish out the rest of the gif with these last three pictures. Shadow pulls away from Sonic at this point (which, fair, Sonic did grab him out of nowhere and he’s not normally very touchy-feely although this may be disproved in the next gif), and it may or may not have felt like a small punch to the gut for me to see Sonic’s hand outstretched like that, but anyway.

Shadow shifts into one of his patented I’m Trying To Be Cool And Aloof Despite Being An Adorable Three Foot Tall Hedgehog poses, complete with an eyeroll. He doesn’t actually seem that upset about Sonic touching him, however, I think it’s probably more the context of the situation. Shadow keeps insisting that Nine is a threat that needs to be stopped, and Sonic keeps preventing him from doing that, so his frustrated reaction seems to have much more to do with why Sonic touched him than the fact that he did so at all.

And, least but certainly not least, a cute contemplative (and still slightly grumpy) expression from Shadow. (He’s just adorable!! Aaaaaaa—)

Now then! Let’s move onto a really, really big one…

…The Hug™.

The post that I got this clip from actually has some really good points that I’m going to discuss further, so please go read that first! It won’t take long, and also everything the OP says there is absolutely true.

Ready? Here we go! (Please excuse the slightly crunchy pictures...the only way I was able to get this level of detailed analysis was by recording the gif, scrubbing through the frames, and taking screenshots of specific moments, which naturally led to some artifacting.)

So, what's just happened prior to this frame was Rebel Rouge saying happily, "Sonic, you're okay!". Sonic, like the goof he is, does not acknowledge this in any way, fully focused on introducing his boyfriend to his other Shatterspace pals. Instead, he's just looking over at Shadow. Notably, Shadow is instead looking up at Rebel. I'd like to think this is because Rebel has the most put-together and leader-like behavior out of the Rouge counterparts, so he could be waiting for her to continue speaking and give instructions or commentary on the situation, like she does with Team Dark in the games. That's just my take, though, he could just as well be generally on edge—he is in the middle of a battlefield, after all.

Smear frame!! This is included for the expressions as well as for completeness…but mostly for the expressions. Look at how big Sonic's eyes are. Look at how excited he is. He's so hyped to introduce his best rival to everyone. Shadow, meanwhile, looks like he just bluescreened out of pure shock. Sonic's yanking him over so fast he's all blurry, but we can see that his expression is basically 0—0 right now. He has been Touched and he is being Moved and he has not had time to process Why.

(Notably, however, he doesn't break the hold, despite the fact that he definitely could...)

Now, they’ve both settled into place (although ‘settled’ may be the wrong word for Shadow, haha). Sonic is doing what I can only describe as beaming—just look at him! He has a big smile on his face, and he looks almost proud to be introducing Shadow. It really shows how much Sonic values and respects him. (*sobs*) Shadow, meanwhile, has shifted from “what is happening” to “oh Chaos I am being held I am being hugged?? What??? Physical contact? Why????”. He just looks so stunned by the hug, it’s too adorable! More specifically, in addition to the obvious fact that his irises and pupils have shrunk and that he has very stiff posture, if you look very closely at the gif as well as at the following pictures, his ears are also standing up a little straighter and his quills have pushed back slightly, possibly prickling at the sudden contact? Interesting…

Here, we can see Shadow’s ears relax now that he’s processed what’s going on, and his quills have more of a visible curve to them instead of sticking out so much. He’s also glaring off to one side in a position that could either be interpreted as frustration at his current situation (though not so much that he’s willing to push away!!) or as embarrassment. Personally, I think it’s a little of both. Sonic, meanwhile, is still smiling like the sweetheart he is.

Now, we’re getting into the frames leading up to Sonic leaning into Shadow (aka one of the most precious moments of the show). Honestly, I don’t have too much to say about this one, except that Sonic is moving in a way that he would normally while talking right now (shifting around, because this boy has loads of energy) so I have a feeling Shadow probably doesn’t expect the cuddles that are coming his way, ehehe.

The Smush begins!! Shadow looks like he’s quickly resigned himself to his fate, but also decently irritated that he’s essentially getting side-snuggled in front of everyone. This could’ve been another part where he shoved Sonic off himself (goodness knows he did it before in Avoid the Void), and yet he doesn’t, leading to the best part of this whole moment!

Sonic, you smug hedgie. Shadow’s already letting you hug him, don’t push it with that smirk! Shadow does have his eyes closed here, suggesting to me that he is at least a little bit annoyed by now. Again, though, I think this has more to do with the fact that he’s essentially in front of an entire crowd, none of whom recognize or know him. I’ve seen someone else point out that Shadow gets more closed off in Prime when he’s around people aside from Sonic, so honestly, the fact that he’s putting up with this at all sure is…something. (Shipping goggles on: it could be because he appreciates Sonic’s affection enough that he’s willing to cope with the embarrassment if it means the cute annoying hedgehog next to him will hold him a little longer :] )

Okay, so this is really difficult to see, but look at Shadow’s wrist protectors in this image as well as the last one. See how there’s less of them visible in this picture here? That’s because, as the person who posted this gif noted, Sonic moves his hand up and down Shadow’s arm twice after cuddling up to him like this. It actually moves Shadow’s entire arm and shoulder up and down with the movement, making it look a little bit like a friendly rub or shake. Sort of like “hey, look at my grumpy friend, isn’t he great?”. Meanwhile, Sonic’s still looking smug, but I’m now wondering if it’s a bit of a knowing look as well? I mean, this is the one friend of his who’s truly known him for more than a few days. I’m wondering if there’s a bit of “‘ey, Shadow, c’mon, don’t be so shy! You’re my pal!” vibes here, partially because he knows it’ll annoy Shadow and partly because he just knows how Shadow is but wants to drag him into his circle of friends regardless. (Look at how much Sonic cares about Shadow, trying to make sure he’s included! So cute!!)

THE PAT. Two of Sonic’s fingers are lifted up here, which he then uses to give Shadow a light tap on the arm. THE AFFECTION. THE OBVIOUS CARE AND FRIENDLINESS IN THIS ONE SIMPLE ACTION. SONIC CARES ABOUT SHADOW SO OBVIOUSLY IT HURTS ME TO WATCH. MY HEART. No matter how many times Shadow puts up walls, Sonic smashes them down. After all, Shadow doesn’t get to be the only one who does things like keeping Sonic safe or helping him stay grounded! Sonic’s not going to pretend those things just didn’t happen—Shadow cares about him in his own awkward, emotionally constipated way, and Sonic is reciprocating. You can’t stop him, Shadow!

I’m skipping the smear frame here, just because Sonic and Shadow basically pop up and right into this position. Sonic’s two fingers come out of the tap/pat and straight into the peace sign, and now he’s smiling even more than he was at the start of this whole thing. His eyes are all big and shiny too—he’s clearly very happy to have introduced Shadow, and perhaps also quite happy that he’s getting this moment of prolonged physical contact with Shadow. Now, while Shadow’s shoulder is still kind of smushed upwards, which could indicate stress in another circumstance, it seems to me here that this is mainly because Sonic’s hand is pulling it upwards slightly. (Although, I’m afraid it does appear to be the case that Sonic and Shadow are approximately the same height in Prime—remember, Shadow’s ears aren’t as perky right now as Sonic’s, and the ears are really the only height difference between them here.) Shadow’s expression, however, is honestly quite neutral. Despite his previous discomfort (part of which, I just realized, could be because Sonic essentially was pushing him off balance. Shadow was tilted pretty far to his left, which could be a little awkward of a position to be in, especially for an extended period of time), he doesn’t look bothered at all, instead just quietly existing in this situation. Most of the irritability in his expression comes from his angular eyes and his aforementioned “resting grumpy face”, honestly.

(I couldn’t find any gif that includes this next part—probably because the camera cuts away from Sonic and Shadow here for a moment to show the general confusion of the Shatterverse folks—but when it cuts back, Shadow is still standing there with Sonic’s arm around him. Heck, he looks willing to continue standing there for however long Sonic stays next to him, only pulling away when Nine comes back and makes noise, reminding everyone that we’re in the middle of a battle for everyone’s survival here. And when he does pull away, Sonic is dragged with him, which is probably mostly for laughs, but does also imply that a) he was holding onto Shadow pretty tightly and b) he wasn’t expecting to have to let go even AFTER Nine made himself known.)

This post is long enough already (and I drafted it when I could've been going to sleep, because the force of Sonadow infected me), so I won't be doing the "Shadow saves Sonic" scene just yet (unless a lot of people want to see that). For now, though, thanks for bearing with me throughout my descent into madness over these two. And if you want me to take a look at other gifs, feel free to send them my way or put them in a reblog and I'll see if I can make the time to analyze them!

[crash-and-live]

So I haven't written anything in a long time, let alone published anything, but I thought I'd give things a try with @bunnyreaper's Secret Santa writing fest. My recipient is @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff. Hope you enjoy <3

Pairing: John Price x GN!Reader (male pronouns used) with slight John Price x Reader x Simon Riley but a lot is left up to insintuation.

Summary: You're a civilian with a curious neighbour whom you rarely see, yet manage to get roped into taking care of his place when he's gone. You've known him for a while and your relationship slowly develops as the festive season approaches.

Domestic fluff mostly, playful banter and all but essentially a nice lil feel-good fic. Enjoy!

Word Count: 2.8k

The night air was warm as you walked to the door of your flat, reaching into your pockets for the familiar feel of your keys. Pulling them out, you click open the lock before glancing over at your neighbour’s door. You hadn’t seen him much over the years, even less so recently. There were about two times you could recall hearing him move around the small flat in the past couple of months, before he vanished again soon after. He’d always been nice to you, in a gruff sort of way. Asked you to mind his plants on his balcony next to yours which wasn’t too hard. It clearly meant something to him as he always left a thank you note under your doormat with a small token of gratitude. 

He had said he travelled for work, and he wasn’t kidding. Every small item he’d left on your doorstep had been from a different country. Either a small trinket or stamp from places all around the world. You almost wished you could leave him something, but whenever you heard him next door and made plans to visit the next day, he was gone again. It tugged at your heart slightly, the amount this man, John, he’d introduced himself as that first time you’d met him, spent at work. It seemed to consume his life. He’d never had a visitor. Never gotten a parcel or a letter. Not once. No friend or relative ever knocked at your door asking for a ‘John’. It made you wonder… just who exactly was your neighbour? 

Shaking your head, you pushed your way inside and closed the door behind you, locking it before dumping your bags onto the small table before sprawling onto the couch, groaning in relief. Today had been hard. Not only had work been tough, but approaching the busy period brought a whole new level of stress. You could already feel your eyes fluttering shut before you heard a crash coming from next door, followed by a gruff noise. You couldn’t fight the grin that spread over your cheeks as the tiredness left your body. He was home. 

✯

“Sorry that I disturbed you.” His voice was husky, like you’d remembered as your eyes traced his face. His skin was weathered and his beard quite bushy, as if he’d been unable to access a mirror for a while. You’d gone over just to be friendly, to welcome him home because he must be lonely, to check on him and be nice. Or at least that’s what you tried to convince yourself. 

“You didn’t, truly. I’m almost glad I heard you. It’s been a while.” A soft smile spread over your lips as you took in his rugged appearance. Whatever he’d been gone for, you could tell it had taken a toll on him. Lines were heavy on his face and his shoulders were slumped. His eyes weren’t focused like they usually were, instead choosing to check every corner of the flat as if he were expecting something to jump out of the shadows. Your brows furrowed in concern. “Are you alright?” 

“Don’t concern yourself with me, kid. I’ll be fine.” He shuts down the conversation because it could even begin. Pursing your lips, you nodded in acknowledgement. It was the one thing you’d noted about him. He was fine talking to you, asking about you and your life, but immediately shut the conversation down when it came to him. “Just been a rough few months.” 

Kid. He always called you that. A constant reminder of how he saw you. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed, but practically, you also knew it would never work. So, you sucked it up, soaked in every chance of communication you could with this man. “Anything I can do to help?” You tried to keep your voice neutral, but there was a hopeful lilt to it. John simply chuckled, shaking his head as he did so. 

“No, kid. You’re fine. You do enough for me.” 

“I water your plants, John.” You mused, fingers clutching at the glass he’d slid across the bench to you. “I think I can be a little more of service if you need, even if it’s just company.” 

John smiled, kindlier this time. “You calling me lonely, kid?” 

“Am I wrong?” The corners of your mouth quirked up into a smile in response to his own. 

“I have friends. All of them are like me though. A little off the grid, rough around the edges. Work consumes my life. I don’t have a lot of time for anything else.” His response was measured, as if warning you not to press any further. As if he’d already said enough. You sucked your teeth and gave a half-hearted shrug, letting the matter drop. 

✯

The next time you saw him was a few weeks later. You were bringing groceries in the late afternoon as he was leaving, heavy bag slung over his broad shoulders. He smiled softly when he saw you and you couldn’t help but flash a wide smile to him. 

“I didn’t know you were home.” You said, placing your bags on the front of your door. 

“Had no chance to tell you, kid. Got in late last night and already been called out again.” He shrugged, as if it didn’t really bother him. He would be used to it, you guessed. Didn’t mean that it didn’t take its toll. 

“Ever heard of taking a break?” You gave him a cheeky smile, cocking an eyebrow as he let out a breathy chuckle. 

“Not in my line of work. Always something that needs to be done.”

“Do you need me to do anything for you?” You asked again, hoping he’d take you up on the offer. This time, John remained silent for a beat before nodding. 

“Actually, yeah. Was meant to be home for a bit longer so I bought a bit of food. Take what you want and chuck the rest from the fridge. Don’t think much of it will keep.” He held out his key towards you. Your heart skipped a beat as you glanced between his eyes and the key in his outstretched hand. You nodded in response, reaching out and taking the key from his hand, feeling the roughness of his palm. 

“Thanks.” His voice pitched down slightly, the gruffness sending a shiver down your spine. John gives you a slight nod before glancing at his watch. “Gotta run. I’ll knock on your door for the keys when I get back, yeah? Or if it’s easier, chuck ‘em on my balcony. I’ll get in either way.” And then he was gone before you could even say goodbye. 

You stood there, looking down the corridor where he’d turned the corner before glancing down at the keys in the palm of your hand. It was plain, with two keys and a leather strap with no markings. But it was him. Closing your fingers over the cool metal, you turned to your groceries, picking them up and taking them inside, set on composing yourself for a few moments before you ventured into his flat. 

You’d been in his flat a few times before, but never been past the open plan of the main area. This time, you resisted the temptation to snoop through his belongings, despite the nagging curiosity. He was clearly a private man, who didn’t like to share his personal business. What kind of betrayal of trust would it be for him to hand you his keys, only for you to be nosey and intrude? You didn’t want to think about that. Instead, you dutifully went to his fridge and cupboard, and emptied them as he requested. 

That became a part of your regular routine. He left you his keys when he went away, told you to help yourself to whatever remained of his food. At first, you harboured some sense of guilt over it, taking his food. But as time went on, you convinced yourself he’d been buying more food especially for you, even going as far as to buy a few packets of your favourite treats that always went untouched by him, saved for you. Your cheeks burned at the thought of him thinking about you. So you repaid the favour in kind, making a few extra meals and placing them in his freezer, so he’d have something to eat when he came home.

✯

Amid your usual dinner preparations at the end of the working week, a sharp knock rang through your flat, impatient, and demanding. John never usually knocked like that, you thought, furrowing your brows as you made your way to the door. Maybe he’d had a rough time at work and was more tense than usual. Upon opening the door however, your eyes widened as you noticed a giant of a man, a black balaclava with white markings on his face. The only part of him you could see was his eyes, dark and steely as he held out his hand. 

“Keys.” His deep voice was cold as he stared down at you imposingly. 

“I’m sorry?” You wished your voice was a little firmer but given the sheer size and presence of this man, you could forgive yourself. 

“Keys.” He said again, more impatiently. “For the guy next door. Sent me to grab them for him.” Brows pinching together, you shook your head. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t—”

“Don’t be dense.” He snarled, stepping closer to you, eyes narrowing as he pushed himself over your threshold. Breath hitching, you stepped back, trying to close your door on the stranger, but he barred it with his arm. “Need the keys for John’s flat. Now.”

“Simon!” A familiar voice snapped from down the hall. “Don’t be hostile. He’s not a threat.” John appeared around the corner, hugging his side as he groaned, leaning against the cool stone. His face was pale and bruised, causing your eyes to widen further. 

“John!” Not caring about the stranger in your doorstep, you pushed past him, rushing towards your neighbour. “Are you okay? What happened?” Your voice was panicked as you rushed over to him, hands fluttering around his battered body. Letting out a weary sigh, John pushed off the wall. 

“‘M fine, kid. Just been a rough few days.” He placed a large hand on your shoulder reassuringly, squeezing it tenderly before nodding over to the man by your door. “Don’t worry about him. He hasn’t got manners like me.” 

You flushed slightly, looking back at the other man, Simon, as John had called him. Tracing your eyes over his face, you could see him squint and cock an eyebrow, as though waiting for you to comment. But you don’t. Instead, you reach into your pocket and grab out the keys to John’s flat, throwing them to Simon. 

“The deadbolt is the gold one, door handle is the silver.” Simon nodded and turned to John’s door as you looked back around to face your neighbour. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can bring you anything. First aid? Towels?” But John shook his head. 

“No, kid. I’ll be alright. Got Simon.” He said weakly, pushing off the wall as Simon stomped over, hooking John’s arm over his shoulder before he rushed inside, kicking the door shut with his heavy boots, causing it to slam in your face. 

The next morning, you were out on your balcony with a coffee when John pushed open his door for his morning cigar. He stopped when he saw you out there, before glancing inside hesitantly. 

“Your friend doesn’t seem to like me.” You mused, guessing that was the cause of John’s wariness. Your sly remark was rewarded with a hearty chuckle, cut short by a wince as he clutched his side. Your brows pinched together at the reaction and he noticed the concern laced in your features. 

“I’m fine, love. I’ve had much worse than a few cracked ribs. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.” Heat coursed through your body at the term of endearment. He’d never said that to you before. Suppressing a grin, you met his warm eyes, crinkling slightly with a reassuring smile as the cigar smoke surrounded him. “And don’t fret too much about Simon. He’s a just grumpy lad.”

“He could do with taking a few etiquette lessons.” You grumbled, but the corners of your mouth twitched upwards and was met with yet another hearty chuckle from John, the sounds making your heart race.

“You’re a good lad too. Thanks for taking care of the place. I appreciate it.” The mood softened between the two of you as the cold morning wind picked up. You shivered. “Tell me, why’s your heating unit not been on? Weather’s been right chilly.” Inwardly, you cursed that he’d noticed, but of course he would. He’s been far more observant than any person you’d come across. Shrugging, you replied.

“Broke a few days ago. Haven’t been able to get anyone in to fix it, being so close to Christmas and all. Everyone’s either finishing up for the year, or already fully booked.” John clicked his tongue, shaking his head.

“Can’t be having that now love, can we?  I’ll give it a look later but, in the meantime, come over to mine. Want to make sure you’re warm in this weather.” Blinking, you raised your head to begin to protest, but he’d already stubbed out his cigar and turned to his door. “Come on, love. It’s almost Christmas after all, no one should be alone and cold. Let us warm you up.” Was all he said before stepping inside and closing the door behind him, leaving you to ruminate.

Exactly ten minutes later, you were outside John’s door, stomach twisting as you thought about his earlier words. Us. Meaning he wasn’t alone. Meaning Simon was still here. Running your thumb along your knuckles, you debated heading back into yours when John’s door was pulled open. Except it wasn’t John standing there, but Simon. His large, hulking frame taking up most of the space in the doorway, and making you tilt your head up slightly to look into his eyes, the only part of his face visible under the mask.

“You gonna stand there gawkin’ at the door all day?” His words were gruff, but the sentence might have ended with a huff, as if he were making fun of you. Your stomach twisted even more at the rough timbre of his voice. Biting your lip, you decided to throw a bit of cheek to him.

“You gonna slam the door in my face again?” Your ears didn’t deceive you this time as Simon let out another huff, this time leaning against the door frame as his arms folded and head tilted, eyes carefully focused on yours.

“There were more important things to do than chit-chat.” Right. That was a fair point on his part. The two of you entered a silent stand-off, which mostly consisted of you looking anywhere but him as his hard eyes drilled into you.

“You letting the lad in or what, Simon?” John called out and Simon chuckled, eyes crinkling as he stepped aside, head cocking to gesture you in. As soon as your foot entered the flat, you moaned in relief, the warm air circling around you, unsticking your cold joints. Your face instantly heated as you realised the noise you’d let out in the presence of the two men and you ducked your head.

“That good huh?” Simon said lowly, brow raising slightly as he brushed past you, chest against your shoulder as he headed into the kitchen. John had an arm looped over the back of the couch, smiling, waving you over to join him on the couch. Once you sat down, John placed his strong arm around your shoulders.

“Better, yeah?” He asked, raising his brow enticingly. “Can’t be having my sweet neighbour cold when he’s taken such good care of me.”  You face hadn’t quite calmed down from your slip up before, but John’s words brought it all rushing back.

“You didn’t have to.” Your voice was a mumble, eyes glancing over at the telly as it played some holiday movie.

“I did though, love. I really did.” He squeezed your shoulder firmly and you felt your knees weaken at his strength. “Noticed you didn’t do much last year over Christmas and couldn’t have a repeat of that. Not when you’ve been taking such good care of me.” Finally, you picked up the courage to meet his eyes and you saw the intensity there. “Let me take care of you for once, yeah? Let us take care of you.”

Glancing up, you noticed Simon lurking in the doorway to the kitchen, eyes carefully watching the pair of you. Swallowing, you glanced back at your neighbour, his eyes boring into your expectantly. And you only had one answer for him.

“Yes. I want you to take care of me… sir.” John grinned, eyes creasing as his head threaded through your hair to cup the back of your head.

“There’s a good lad for me. Gonna take real good care of ya.”

If there are mistakes, please let me known. As I said, it's been a hot minute.

[captainsophiestark]

Super Surprises

Harley Keener x Reader

Masterlist - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Harley's SO shows up earlier than expected to his apartment and discovers he leads a slightly more interesting life than the average MIT student

Word Count: 1,781

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

"Harley! You'll never believe the email I got from my professor! I mean, I'm not complaining, since it meant I could get out of class early and grab some food for us before coming here, but-"

I stopped short, frowning from the kitchen of my boyfriend's apartment. Normally, by now, he would've come out here to join me, or at least acknowledged me from somewhere else in the apartment. But I hadn't heard anything since I'd walked in the door.

Granted, I'd shown up much earlier than he'd been expecting me. My professor had canceled class about five minutes after I'd sat down in the lecture hall because he couldn't find parking, had been trying for twenty minutes, and was fed up with the whole ordeal. Still, there was no reason Harley shouldn't have been here. His lack of response was odd.

"Harley?" I called, tentatively heading towards his bedroom. I heard a hushed commotion and some shuffling from inside, then a muffled bang before total silence. I reached the knob, starting to feel a little concerned for the wellbeing of my boyfriend, when he flung the door open a moment before I could.

"Hey," he said, fixing me with a delayed version of his usual grin. "Sorry, I was just... cleaning something up."

"That's okay..." I said, narrowing my eyes a little and trying to look past Harley into his room. He shifted in the doorway to block me, and I raised an eyebrow at him. He grinned at me, trying to look suave, but I wasn't buying it. I ducked under his arm and moved into the room, looking around with my hands on my hips.

"You, uh... you said you had a story about an email from your professor?" asked Harley from behind me. I just hummed without turning around. He was acting weird, and I was determined to figure out why.

I scanned the room, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Other than my boyfriend, that is, who hovered behind me radiating a nervous energy I never felt from him every time I took a step. I started moving around the room, and Harley looked so nervous I thought he might fidget so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. I walked past the window and his bed with no real effect, but the moment I started heading for the closet with purpose, he sprang across the room to jump in front of me.

I put one hand on my hip and fixed him with a look.

"What's in the closet, Har?"

"Nothing."

I snorted. "According to my sources, that's a load of bullshit."

"What sources?"

"My common sense. Come on, you're never this jumpy, especially not around me! So what's in the closet. I know you're not hiding a secret lover in there, so just tell me. What is it?"

"It's... a surprise," he managed, not even half as convincing as he would need to be. I just rolled my eyes and took another step towards him.

"Harley Keener, you aren't fooling anybody. You are, however, starting to worry me. So come on. What's in the closet?"

Harley's eyes darted around the room, scanning me and our surroundings, and I could see his brain working a mile a minute. Finally though, he sighed, the restlessness draining away from him as he settled his stare on me. He looked like the normal, slightly tired, sarcastic and blunt guy that I'd fallen for so fast in one of our physics classes again, and relief washed over me.

"You want to know what's in the closet? Fine. I was working up to telling you all this shit anyway, so why not now?"

I raised an eyebrow, but Harley just turned around to open the closet door a crack. He had a harsh, whispered conversation with someone apparently hiding inside, and my mind started racing, trying to come up with possibilities that would tie into this whole situation and actually make sense. Before I could come up with anything, Harley stepped back, and someone stepped out of the closet.

Never in a million years would I have been able to come up with the guess "Spider-Man is hiding in my boyfriend's closet".

My mouth dropped open as the beloved hero of New York stepped further into the room, Harley at his side. I just stared, trying to get my brain working again. I wasn't having much success.

"What... how... why-?"

"Remember I told you I met Tony Stark once, in Tennessee? When I was a little kid?"

I nodded, shifting my attention to Harley again. He had his hands in his pockets, and the usual casualness in his posture seemed a little more forced than usual.

"Well, I didn't mention that I saw him again. Regularly. He's kind of... adopted me, I guess, as a science kid who helped him fight off some bad guys one time. I actually go visit somewhat regularly, and Spider-Man's Tony's other science kid."

I blinked a few times, looking between the two people before me, my brain still trying and failing to play catchup. Spider-Man gave me a little wave, which didn't really help.

"That's... Harley, that's insane! Why didn't you... why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as his gaze fell towards the floor.

"I didn't want to tell you before we got serious. It just felt weird, like I was bragging or trying to get you to like me based on who I know. And I didn't want you to go out with me because of it, either. And then when we did get serious, it had been long enough that I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I was trying to figure it out, but I guess that's not a problem anymore."

He shot a look at Spider-Man that only a sibling could, with all the annoyance and irritation possible communicated in a single second. I couldn't help smiling.

"Well, I'm glad I know now," I said, crossing the room to take Harley's hand and give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Har. I'm always happy to hear about you and your life, even when it's... unexpected."

He smiled at me, then leaned in and gave me a real kiss. I didn't let it go on for more than a few quick seconds, since we still had a guest in the room, but it was still nice. A little reassurance for us both.

"So..." I started, finally turning to the masked superhero in the room. "It's nice to meet you, Spider-Man."

I held out my hand for a handshake, which he returned.

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you too! Harley talks about you all the time."

I grinned, and I could see Harley shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. Spider-Man's voice made him sound way younger than I'd thought he was, but I decided not to comment on it. At least, not right now.

"So... what brings you to my boyfriend's dorm, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh! Well, I'm working on this case, and there's this technology that I think can help me track down the bad guys I'm looking for, but I can't figure out how to hack into it, and Mr. Stark's super busy-"

"Yeah, just gimme the drive," Harley interrupted, holding out his hand. Spidey obliged, then Harley glanced back at me. "Are you okay with this? I know we planned to just hang out together and do some studying..."

"Har, you're involved in superhero business. I'm not going to tell you to drop it, especially when it doesn't really have an impact on us." I turned to Spider-Man. "Luckily for you, I even brought extra helpings of food from Harley and I's favorite place. Although, it might be kind of hard to eat it through the mask."

Spider-Man turned to look at Harley, who completely missed it because he was staring at me.

"I never agreed to share my food with him. How could you offer that?"

I just smiled and shook my head, nodding in Spidey's direction. Harley turned to him with narrowed eyes, but his expression quickly changed when he saw something in Spider-Man's body language or otherwise that had his eyebrows furrowing in concentration. Maybe Spider-Man was secretly telepathic or something.

After a few long moments where Harley and Spidey were apparently managing to have a silent conversation despite the mask, the superhero turned back to me. Harley took my hand in his, a small smile on his face, and then a moment later, Spider-Man whipped off his mask.

A baby-faced teenager stared back at me with a beaming smile, and I instantly got hit with the most irrational surge of protectiveness I'd ever felt.

"Hi! I'm Peter," he said, giving me another little wave. "Peter Parker. Harley trusts you, and I trust him, so I figured... I could probably share this with you."

I smiled, reaching out to lightly squeeze Peter's arm.

"Thanks, Peter. I'm glad you did. And not to be dramatic, but I'll take your secret to the grave."

Peter's eyebrows shot up, and I heard Harley snort from next to me. I grinned at them both and headed for the kitchen.

"Now c'mon, you've got a case to work on or whatever and I have a ton of upper div calculus homework. None of us has time to waste."

Both boys followed after me, and within a few minutes we were settled at the table in Harley's apartment. Harley and I sat shoulder to shoulder, legs pressed against each other. Even though we were working on separate things, we were completely together, which made everything so much easier.

Every once in a while, I'd look up at Harley and Peter working over the same laptop. Whenever one of them noticed me, we shared smiles before returning to our tasks. We'd moved past the whole Stark-superhero thing pretty quickly, and I was okay with that. It didn't really change my impression of Harley or who he was, it was just another interesting aspect of his life. But I didn't miss the significance in Peter sharing his identity with me.

He wouldn't have done that, and Harley wouldn't have given him the silent yes, if Harley wasn't incredibly serious about this relationship. I'd become more and more convinced over the past few months that Harley was the one, and this told me he was most likely on the same page.

Of course, we'd have to have some conversations about that at some point in the future. But for right now, I was just happy to be working next to him, perfectly comfortable together, even in this new aspect of his life. Shoulder to shoulder through shitty classes and superhero drop-ins alike.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @luv-ghostie @songbirdcannabe @infinetlyforgotten

[fallecupid]

"how could i love you?"

.ᐟ.ᐟ warnings :ㅤ angst!dean.ㅤvampire!reader.ㅤgn!reader.ㅤㅤㅤword count: 6k

( author's note : i apologize in advance for errors in this text / vague wording / words that are incorrect in meaning ( if any are present in the content. ) english is not my native language, everything written below has been translated by a translator. )

The heavy clanking of chains and the dampness of the basement hit you like cold water in the morning. Confusedly trying to get some focus of events, you shook your head, almost instantly calling out an irritated lurch somewhere behind you. The gears were slowly banging one against one in your brain, not ready to acknowledge the worst of it. Though it was clear in the back of your mind that it was Dean. You could have sworn you were about to meet his disappointed gaze, or worse, a silver bullet to the forehead.

The man grabbed your chin sharply, not even trying to control the force with which he squeezed the soft skin that once held you so sweetly against him. "Don't look away, the least you can do is look at me." Dean leaned in slightly, gritting his teeth almost to the point of grinding. "After all the shit you pulled on me. How long did you think you'd be a doormat?" He cut himself short, pulling away and crossing his arms over his chest as a low rumble came from you.

The noise intensified behind you, and within minutes Dean Winchester was standing in front of you. His green eyes darkened, like he saw some bastard he should take his life, but damn it was ironic. You pressed your lips together, unable to even look at him.

A tiny signal of how much pain he was holding you in. To his inner turmoil, Winchester let go, he would blame himself again and again later, but not now. "Just let me explain..." Your parched lips cracked as you tried in vain to moisten them with saliva. Winchester, squinted his eyes, unable to hide the way his inner demons were eating away at him.

He couldn't get his mind around how disgusting you were. The little snake he held close, the bloodsucker in the same bed as him. It was utter nonsense, but it was true. And the worst part was that he loved you, even now, through the prism of hatred, he loved you.

The man paced the damp floor, which creaked treacherously beneath him, sagging wetly. "Try explaining." The chilling tone cut into you like a knife to the heart, but with the stipulation that it had been spun a few times. Under that invisible vise, the only thing you could do was stare meekly at the floor, swaggering your words.

"I wanted to say earlier...But i was enjoying the moment too much, you know? All your love, your affection, your smile, those damn teases.... Everything was available to me, like I'd won the damn lottery." You didn't dare look at him, just squirmed.

Dean stopped, looking at you, pursing his lips. A weak excuse, you knew full well he was smashing heads with the likes of you every damn day, yet you still lived off of fortune. Either you were a goddamn lunatic or crazy in love. He almost suppressed a smirk, running those words through his head.

But the moment of weakness didn't last long, he would remember again the moments where you almost got caught. The perpetual night walks, the drops of blood caked on your clothes, the odd behavior, after all. But Dean was just a brainless puppy in love for turning a blind eye so easily. Now all he wanted to do was bang his head against the wall a few times to beat the crap out of himself and the idea that you deserved forgiveness.

Still circling beside you, he hissed in your ear, warm breath stated with dry speech. "That's a weak excuse. If you'd lost control and gnawed on a neighborhood, right? A city? You're dangerous as hell." The man touched your neck, nuzzling it in a light touch, averting his gaze. Now the gears were already working in his brain. It was as if some contradiction was showing its ugly head every time he spat those caustic words at you, every time he wanted to take your head off. God damn him.

Still clutching your neck, his eyes followed yours, those damn eyes full of fear and despair, those damn eyes in which he was drowning and still is. Those lips, now pressed almost to white, used to kiss him supplely. Your hair, the familiar tuft of hair that rippled against his skin. And it was now that it overwhelmed him, as if he were looking through an old family album.

But that's the thing about scrapbooks, they hold those memories that can only be remembered, not realized. You're a monster, you killed innocent people, manipulated them. Torn in a cycle of doubt, he didn't notice how damn hard he squeezed your throat, of course it wouldn't kill you, but noticeable discomfort it might bring.

"Shit shit shit shit, I-" As if coming out of a trance, he recoiled, looking at your face, you almost on the verge of tears. The irony was eerily funny, because he too felt a lump somewhere in the middle of his throat.

"Just tell me, what the hell? Why are you torturing me?" He pressed his lips together, running his fingers through his hair. "You know damn well I can't kill you, but you look at me like I'm the ultimate evil of all." Muttering quietly, Dean took a few deep breaths, looking at you slightly blurred.

Shit. He can't just take your life, not after you pulled him out of a shit hole, not after you helped him rebuild Sammy, not after you gave him a goddamn house. He found a piece of himself. He'd already lost one, his father, and he wasn't ready to lose one by his own stupid oversight.

In fact, you'll handle everything together, won't you? Dean knelt down in front of you, his hands convulsively squeezing your cheeks, on which tears had long since flowed. The man pressed his forehead against yours, his voice shaking like he was in forty-degree cold. "I'm sorry, i'm sorry i'm a fool." He looked at you. "No, you're not.... Anyone in your shoes would have done the same." You muttered, meeting his gaze.

"I'm in my place right now and i'm being an idiot for letting myself love you." Bitter longing mixed with the heaviness of his voice as calloused fingers drew faint circles on your cheeks. "Hey... don't cry." Winchester leaned toward you, absorbing the regret in your eyes.

"That's right, you're a complete idiot for not shooting me in the head." Trembling, your hand tentatively reaches for his hair, groping the area. But here you are: he suppliantly reaches for you, unable to look at you anymore. It's as if all his hateful feeling has been washed away by the speech water, as if you were never a blood-singing brat and he never dreamed of killing you.

It's like everything's back to normal. He's beside you, you're stroking his hair, and he's tucking his lips into your shoulder. It's all so familiar, so warm. So much so that it could have been a happy dream, but no. We're in a harsh reality where every parasite will get to every innocent.

Just by that, you receive a crushing blow to the heart, his revolver filled with silver bullets poking into your soft chest. He doesn't even try to hold back the tears that are traitorously pouring out of him, the only thing he can do is scream as he stares at your now breathless body. Dean could have sworn there was a phrase frozen on your lips that cut his heart worse than any knife. "I love you."

Winchester's always been a hunter. No matter how long he pretends this doesn't concern him, he can't just leave it alone. Even if he's ready to shoot himself now, even if he feels himself shattering into a million pieces right now, he's still a hunter. And you, you're the vampire, the one he's hunting.

[moddymoon]

Oh my, what a lovely person...

Yeah, I've posted a few of these before... I honestly am not that keen on posting most of them, but this one was just so lovely...

Yes, I'm not hiding who this is... I often see a "pattern" with a person, and it's worth sharing, but this very much is *this person* which I'm commenting on...

At this point, it just kind of comes across, as a typical you know, questionable person, who has little concept of boundaries, et al.

And I get maybe the whole just diving in and asking the questions you're meaning to ask...

It's pretty *likely* they are one of those not slightly questionable people but very questionable people even at this point..

There's a few things here... The "professional mommy" thing is you know not good... Not saying that *being* a professional mommy is a problem, but professionals don't approach people in this way...

It *might* be that a professional would approach a person going, "hey I noticed that you have this issue, and I might be able to help you resolve it..."

Especially when you the professional might be looking at some resource, because that's something they are looking for themselves.

This might be a "quibble" type comment... But the "mummy" vs. "mommy" thing bothers me, and... I've yet to see someone using the term "mummy" (different meaning entirely in English, like ware vs. wear...) who hasn't ended up being problematic.

It's a big indication the person doesn't really speak English, and quite possibly "European languages" as their first language. At least it doesn't come across as particularly professional.

As a *professional* myself, I will only really mention something like this that I *am* a professional, if I'd otherwise be contacting a person.

Looking for a dog washer, contacting one... Finding out they are not doing that, and being willing to help them get that sorted...

My response was non-commital at this point... Just kind of acknowledged that I'd got a response. I said, "OK" to that, got what's up at the top.

Based on me reading this... I was clearly *not* into it at the time. I can't say why. It could have been a bad day. This went over several days...

The "let me see" absolutely is not cool. Maybe if someone is in the community... And wants to share pictures, yeah, sure... It could just be something kind of weird, not understanding.

This very much is something that does happen. Usually when it does happen, and it is a misunderstanding, the result ends up being, either they just quietly go away...

Quite common, and you can't tell if they really did just not understand, or if they did understand, and are upset they got caught out.

Either case? If they just go away... I guess problem solved, sort of...

The asking about the brand... I can get that, that makes sense in the community... But if you *are* in the community, you may not even know my answer (feel free to ask me if you don't, about what my thoughts are).

OK, I'm apparently feeling more generous at this point, than I was earlier. The "let me see" after I've ignored it, again, not on, and since I ignored it... Really yeah, not OK...

I am generous in saying that I'd like to get to know them better... It is *fair* for me to respond like that. Honestly I would. But honestly... I should have probably pointed out that it's just not OK ... though let's just assume they are just clueless...

Let's *not* make a point of pointing too "dangerously" to where they are going wrong. At least until it's clearer that they're not clueing in.

I *have* had people clue in that I was happy to continue talking with. Even then, I'm not sure how often it ended up being much of an ongoing conversation.

The response to, "I'd like to get to know you better" isn't really great. I've had lots of these types, and sometimes it's really just a person isn't comfortable, or they have the wrong idea.

Most of the time, to be honest it's usually *some* version of what this is. Where they aren't saying too much, because they may be trying to pass off multiple conversations at the same time, possibly as different identities, and really not a genuine person.

Other times, it's just a person isn't really comfortable. Like... Look at my responses... At this point, I'm really trying to not be overly committed ... And that either should set off alarm bells of, "this person isn't putting the effort into it, and isn't a good mark," or set off, "Hm... I really need to give more to connect with this person."

The conversation at this point, I feel should go one of two ways... The person should put more into it, to draw the other person out (they could be a good scammer, or they could be a real person) or they could just kind of take the hint, and just kind of some form of just drifting off.

A comment which easily can be ignored... That's a good approach honestly.

Maybe I've decided this person isn't really worth discussing with. Like, not worth playing their game. It's kind of been a not fun one at this point.

I give a bit of an option here to connect. As a real person, they might go, "oh hey... yeah I can talk about some stuff..." '

I ask a pretty safe/neutral question. It's really interesting where it goes...

I knew the name Westworld, and thinking it's a movie, it felt like it was probably something I'd have gone and checked out. I couldn't remember what it was though...

The thing about that is, it's *not* a movie, and saying it is, wow, that's really weird... I can't say why.

Maybe I couldn't find the right thing? So I guess... OK let's see where this goes...

I try to suggest that maybe there's something that was called Westworld, which was a movie. Sadly... I either didn't communicate that well enough... Or whatever...

The Viking title... That is a problem (I looked for it, with little hope, as I expect there are lots of movies which someone might think of as "Viking" and indeed there are...).

I try to find something they'd like to talk about... Which... Oh... This gets interesting...

OK, didn't *miss* anything here, but failed to catch things as well as I would have liked.

I am looking to get to know this person, as a person... And maybe they don't really get that... That's generous... But yeah they want to only talk about their "business" and yeah, I'm not here for that.

Well, let's see where it goes from here...

I get a bit snarky... I'm tired of it, that I'm putting effort in, and it's not really getting appreciated.

I know... Maybe not looking the greatest at this point on my part... but it really feels there's no chance this is going to end with anything *better* than a, "wandering off into the ether" at best.

I'm giving a bit of a lead to indicate that I may well be missing something... And maybe I was. It never got sorted (yeah spoilers).

This person was *very* frustrating to talk to, and maybe I was too. I kept feeling it would go one way, then I'd respond to that...

Then it would suggest that I wasn't getting things, so I open to having it explained to me...

Then I get an "explanation" which brings us back to the same sort of response that I tried to respond that it wasn't OK...

And... Here they ask specifically what I'm talking about. So I'm pretty sure I start to explain my perspective.

Yes... Though the "who are you?" really comes across as, "who do you think you are, talking to me like this." I've had a few of those lately.

This is the top of a fairly full explanation of where I'm coming from. I think it's reasonable to explain at this point. And... So I did.

I point out that they've really given me nothing to talk about. That they seem to really only be willing to talk about what they get paid for.

It seems fair to me to consider that they really are only talking to try to draw in the "fish on the line." And I make it clear that I'm not that fish.

And that really they've not contributed anything that has lead me to really want to talk to them...

So... There's a response that they give... No real effort to explain, no effort to try to address anything I've said. Just the one liner... Which really is manipulative.

Do I have a problem with that? Well I could probably write like the entire amount I have here (original and my comments on the conversation) about how that's a problematic question.

No, I don't really have a problem with a person wanting to make money. That's not my problem.

So, I guess... The "problem" I have... Is the person who is wasting *everyone's* time, having a dull conversation. And I do kind of point that out... But not as clearly as I thought.

I do point out just how much of a problem the *response* to my explaining where I was coming from is. And...

This is why I feel this person is worthy of letting people know who they are...

They *will not* treat anyone kindly if this is how they treat someone who like myself who pointed out that I won't pay, who the person seemed to have no interest in anything other than being paid...

What if you *had* paid them? But weren't happy? How bad would they make it for you then? Probably much worse...

[sebastiansvertebrae]

Once more to see you

First chapter

Chapter 2: start of hell

4,000 words long

Notes

hello sorry it took me like longer to post here I worked on this until like midnight to get it perfect and then I just knocked out after finishing it and I'm writing this as I wake up thank you for your patience

This is where it begins

he starts to slide the card I looked at the other two. Camila and Deniz. They looked back at me as we waited. There was an unspoken Bond forming at least I think. Deniz had a small smile. Camila just looked at the ground.

Then we heard the confirmation jingle. the pressure releasing from the door. As Su-Jin looked up. Giving us a look that said go. I glanced at the room. I don't know what I was expecting but it was definitely not just a normal corridor.

There were some drawers to the walls and a few Lockers it was cold and smooth like the docks. felt too normal and clean. For what I've been told. I cautiously stepped inside. Carefully looking around.

Su-Jin and Deniz searched the drawers while Camila directly walked to the door. I decided to look into some of the lockers. Expecting equipment but they were all empty. İt seems they took their stuff before escaping.

I made a slight sound of disappointment. I thought I'd find something interesting. I tried to get inside of one just to see how it felt. Until I heard Su-Jin's voice calling to me as all three of them waited by the door I rushed over giving an apologetic look. He was of course he was the one to open the door again I hope the next will be uneventful as this one

And it was. For like solid 7 doors nothing happened. The most interesting thing was there were some side rooms sometimes and we had to find the key card. But other than that the drawers were just full of documents. We kept collecting them. Well me, Su-Jin and Deniz did. Camila just went to the door as quickly as possible and waited for us looking annoyed but not saying anything.

Deniz seems to be excited about collecting everything. Even more happy when he found a flashlight Su-Jin gave a nod Camila did not acknowledge. I was surprised that Deniz could find so much joy in something so small but I guess you have to find any type of joy in a situation like this.

On the 8th as we were looting when Camilla finally spoke.

“Why are you guys doing this?”

She sounded exasperated and a little angry Su-Jin looked up from the table

“What do you mean why are we doing this?”

His voice was stern and slightly surprised

“Why do you guys check and collect everything? It's a waste of time.”

Because we were told to collect loose assets? I thought you were just keeping watch.

“Yeah but that's the secondary objective and personally I would rather just get out of here quickly as possible and go home.”

Yes but it's still an objective.

She sounded annoyed and he sounded confused and maybe a little angry. While me and Deniz just watched but before the argument could drag on the lights flickered. And there was a screech so far away.

Something was coming quickly and we needed to hide. I remember the lockers are empty.

“Lockers guys lockers”

I quickly ran inside one of them, closing the door as the screech got louder. And then second there was a gust of wind and I saw it between the doors of the locker. But it passed before I could take a good look at it.

Let go of a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. Everything was dark. And somehow I knew that the only reason that I survived was the locker. That was a monster. And it wasn't going to be the only one. And then I heard his voice.

Su-Jin cautiously asking

“İs everybody still here?”

İn unison

“yes”

At least everybody else is still alive. I took a sign of relief. Getting out of the locker. Everything was dark. But I know the others were near. There was a click and then there was light again. I looked at Deniz and he had that smile again. I smile back. He looked at the others. And then started walking.

I was shortly behind trying not to get out of the light somehow. It felt safe. I could still feel my heart beating. Although it had slowed a bit. I looked at Su-Jin and he didn't show much emotion. I glanced at Camila. she continued looking down, mumbling in Spanish something about a sister. But I couldn't understand much else.

I don't know if it's because of the distance or that I had gotten rusty. Mum was always very strict about us being fluent. Some days even making us only speak Spanish in the house. Sometimes me and Sebastian try to translate songs. But since his death I haven't been practicing as much.

For a second I lost myself in the memories again. The colorful memories of making Spanish covers and the dark memories of listening to them again. Colorful memories of enjoying moms Empanadas and the dark memory of watching her spiral. As I was getting deeper into the thoughts.

There was a screech and Something appeared on my face a deformed squid thing. There was a bright light and then it was gone so quick but so painful. I couldn't see anything, the bright light had ruined my vision. But just as quickly it came back. But I could feel my heart race again.

I looked around and everything was pitch Black. But I could hear breathing. I guess it was my turn

“İs everybody?”

“Yeah”

“yes”

“yep”

“Good”

“I found it it must have turned off when I dropped it”

Deniz said as they were noises probably him fiddling with it but there was an abrupt stop as Su-Jin chimed in

“I think that's what triggered them also let's not waste”

So we continued walking. I listened to the footsteps to keep track of everybody. I wanted to return to memories again but I knew that I had to focus. I didn't want to be surprised like that again. So I kept by everybody's side as we kept looting. This time Camilla kept by our side.

İt was actually hard trying to find things in the pitch darkness but we managed. Hopefully we didn't miss anything. I continued to focus on the footsteps and then I noticed that one of them was getting away as we finished collecting everything.

I guess that it was probably Camila. She's probably going to wait by the door again. But I felt something. I needed to follow her. She seemed not to mind or maybe didn't even notice my presence. Approach the door with the big sign saying 12. And it opened.

There was a little bit of light as the door opened and I took one step towards her. But then I saw it. something red and fleshy with a mask. İt attacked her. I made a horrible noise while doing it. Before I could react it was over and the door had closed. I heard a robotic voice.

“you are so gullible”

I looked up searching for it but there wasn't anything. I extended my hand to Camila but she did not take it. She passed me.

“Hey are you okay?”

“Yes I am okay.”

Her voice was harsh as she started to mumble in Spanish again. And then I heard the sound of the door opening. And I saw the lights. Su-Jin was waiting for us. Deniz was already scavenging in the next room.

“What were you guys doing?”

Camila passed him. but I stayed

“Well there was another door Camilla opened it and there was a monster that attacked Camilla she seems to be fine though.”

“Then we should be careful about those.”

He looked away, his voice was Stern. We continued on our path. And then the lights flickered again, throwing myself into the locker. And this time it came quicker than last time. As I got out I checked everybody was still alive and we continued.

The next few rooms were relatively unremarkable. Some of them had electrical leaks in the water can we have to turn off the whole room's electricity Su-Jin figure that out Camila kept her distance and Deniz kept collecting

I was there trying to keep up the pace. And then there was a flooded room, never the best swimmer. Sebastian was the best. He and mom told me that Maria was actually the best. How they used to joke about her being half fish.

Wish I knew Maria. I wish she was there. Maybe if I was a better brother before she left she would have been…and we are out of the water and I spent the whole time reminiscing. Damn it. 19 that was the room number

“Look into my eyes”

A green glow

“İf you look into my eyes you can see your friends, your family again, look into my eyes look into my eyes”

Mom had that smile on her face again. Smile that she gave me when I ace that test. Sebastian was back, his arms out reaching. He was going to give me a hug we were going to be family again

And then I was being dragged away from them. I blinked. There was a splitting headache. What was that? Why did I see them again? my eyes were closed. I could feel myself being dragged away. But I didn't question it. I heard a whisper.

“ya voy Maria”

The headache started to subside. I could finally open my eyes. And when I did there was just a corridor.

What happened?

“That thing almost hypnotized you or something “

I turn to see Deniz looking at me. He looked a bit weird and blurry. Maybe it was the headache. Wait, was I sitting on the floor?

“You guys, we're talking about seeing somebody again. I had to drag you two.”

“Oh thanks.”

I looked to the ground, my headache continuing and then I noticed.

Two. Wait does that mean

“I'm sorry I only have two arms.”

I got up and ran back to the room. Finding Camila laying on the floor. She wasn't breathing. She was just laying lifeless. The other two surrounded her too. I looked up. Deniz looked at the corpse, his eyes filled with remorse. Su-Jin checked for any vitals and shook his head.

She was gone so quickly. she was gone. And there is nothing that we could do. I did the sign of the cross. Deniz started whispering a language that I did not understand. Su-Jin lifted his head up and started walking. I followed and I could hear that Deniz was shortly behind us

Her last words

“ya voy Maria”

“I am coming Maria”

I think she was crying when she said it. Maria was probably her sister. She wanted to return to her. And now she never will. And her sister will feel the pain that I never wish on anymore. İn that single moment I wished I wasn't the one who got away.

I have to keep walking, I have to keep continuing. And I have to leave her behind. I thought about Maria my Maria. How she would feel if I died here. Probably nothing. Did she ever even care? Why am I thinking about my own sister?

Camilla had someone to return to. And that someone will experience the pain. The pain I felt all those years ago. Hopefully they don't turn up like me. I hope they have somebody else. And then I felt a hand on my shoulder. Looking up to see Su-Jin

“I'm sorry. But we have to keep up. We have to survive for the ones who couldn't.

I looked around. I was lagging behind. I gave a nod and lifted my head to survive for the ones who couldn't. Yes, I'm going to survive. So that she did not die in vain. We are going to make it. I catched up to Deniz and we continued.

Deniz did not smile like he used to as we continued to find more stuff. Some sort of hacking device. Another flashlight. And a medkit. I held on to them. These suits had big pockets. I stuck by his side as Su-Jin continued leading.

The boring corridors continued until there was door 25. But it was surrounded by vegetation flesh? I checked for other ways there were none. We have to brace ourselves. No other choice.

The inside was the same. Covered wall to wall. I didn't even bother with the drawers. This place wasn't worth it. I want to touch the walls to see what it was but I decided against it. Quickly got out of there before something ate us.

I looked at Deniz and tried to give him a smile. Like he gave to me. He looked at me for a second. I could still see the regret and grief in his eyes. But he still smiled back. I felt like I needed to say something.

“still thinking about it? I'm sorry you couldn't save her”

“…I wish I had three arms I would have been able to drag all of you out”

“yeah but I don't think that's possible.”

“İt would have been very useful. umarım hakkını helal edebilirsin Camilla”

He looked up as he said the last part. That must have been something in his native language. But he smiled a little. I felt like I should change the subject.

“…how did you break the hypnosis?”

“…I have no loved ones”

“What?”

“My parents are transphobic pieces of shit that isolated me. I don't ever want to see them again so it has nothing to use.”

“Oh that must be…”

“Rough, yeah but it's okay we are going to make out here, change my name, pump myself full of hormones and live a good life.”

He gave a small chuckle. I couldn't help but to return it. I felt something rising in my chest but it wasn't fear. It was something else. I couldn't really put a name on it but it felt good.

“Look, we are already at 30”

As we entered the lights flickered. He gave me a smile before going to one of the lockers. As I shut the doors I heard the screech. But somehow it felt a little different. I waited, not even bothering to hold my breath.

İt came but it turned to me. There was only a second between realizing that and the monsters smashing itself into a locker trying to open it. And that was the longest second of my life. As the foul smell of rotting fresh filled my lungs.

I held on to the Doors for my life. As it shook the locker. Trying to get me out. I don't know what it would do to me but I knew that I couldn't let go. My heart raced again and my breaths were rapid. I'm not going to die here.

I said continue smashing. I heard a scream, a visceral scream. And I know who it came from. I couldn't focus on that. I had to survive. I have to keep the doors shut. And then it disappeared.

I fell out of the locker. Exhausted. My heart is racing and my breath is still heavy. I was on the floor again. Catching my breath staring up into the ceiling as I remember The scream. There it was, his lifeless bloody body

Deniz was gone, that lively man talking about his future was gone. I couldn't even get closer, I just looked. He would never smile like that again. Nobody will mourn him. Except me. Su-Jin stood next to me.

“Let's go”

“Survive for the ones who couldn't”

I repeated as I got up doing the sign of the cross again. I should probably get the loose assets that he has collected But I can't get any closer. I can't look at him anymore. Knowing what he was just a few minutes ago. So I walked to door 31. Leaving him behind.

İt was just Su-Jin and me now. No camila waiting at the door. And no Deniz enthusiastically collecting. Just me and him. I continued collecting. While he kept watch. Everything felt so silent. As we continued through the rooms.

There was a room with a huge hole in the middle. And it needed a key card. Also one of the lockers had eyes. I'm going to check for that from now on. We found the key card and continued.

The Doors started to blend into each other. Everything that we have already seen. That thing with the Green Glow returned but now I knew what to do. Good thing nothing smashed into my locker again.

The lockers started to feel suffocating after only a few seconds. I couldn't stay in them, it just felt suffocating. I don't know if this has to do with the lockers itself or I'm going insane. I'm leaning more towards insanity.

Walking into another room starting to collect. But can I hear a mechanical sound? And then a beep beep and I felt myself being dragged into cover. And then I heard the bullets fire.

The next thing I heard was a growl of pain. İt was Su-Jin holding his shoulder as I saw the blood drip out. Has my brain finally registered what had happened. He saved me

If he didn't act I would be pumped full of lead. My carelessness is the reason that he is injured. I shouldn't be alive right now but I am. I pulled out the Med kit. Still shaken from the realization.

“I'm sorry, let me help…”

“No!..there seems to be a switch on that wall. I can take care of the injury myself close that and go to the next room…join up with you soon as I finish”

I gave a nod and peaked out of cover. I watched the turrets. And the lasers. I knew enough spy movies to know what this meant. And there was a path I could see. I took a deep breath. Waited for the right moment.

And I jumped out of cover running to the next cover and then the next and then the next. I felt like I was in a spy movie or something. But getting caught would mean death instead of just alarms.

I made it, I don't know how butI made it. I pulled the switch and then I heard that voice again.

“You're no fun”

This time I managed to take a glance at the number pad. There was a crudely drawn angry face just for a second and it disappeared and the number appeared again 50. I looked back at Su-Jin. He was still bandaging himself. I whispered another apology as I walked out.

I was alone. He wasn't dead but I was alone. I looked at the door ahead and the blue glow. another key card. But the room only had one drawer. This was going to be easy. As I stepped inside. I heard something metal hit the floor. And a voice.

“over here”

It was muffled and kind of grovely. but I knew that voice.I looked at where the voice came from. The open vent. My heart started racing again. Memories flooding back in. No this can't be possible. It couldn't be.

Sebastian that was Sebastian's voice. I looked at the vent. It was pitch Black inside. But I knew what I heard. Or did I? There might be something in here able to copy voices. But then how would they know Sebastian's voice?

Or maybe I have started to hear voices. Maybe there's something in this facility that is making me. Hallucinate yes yes that must be. I should just get the key card and get out of here.

I walked to the drawer. You just get the key card and get out. Simple you can't mess this up. I opened and there was nothing. The drawer was empty. Then I heard the voice again.

“If you're searching for a key card it's here”

He sounded annoyed and impatient. Like how he cursed out traffic. I approach the vent looking at it. I could feel my heart in my ears. Maybe there were tears in my eyes. And maybe none of this is real and I'm hallucinating.

But I still crouched. I looked into that abyss. It was calling to me. Smell of sweat and fish was on the other side. I closed my eyes. If this is how I die at least I got to hear him for one last time.I started crawling.

“Finally”

I was out. I opened my eyes. It was pitch Black. And the smell was even more potent and more disgusting. The voice spoke again. It was just like when we were late to school and I finally managed to get out the door.

"Welcome,welcome!”

There was a click as the lights opened and I could see what was making that noise. The first thing I saw was its tail and then.

“Don't be afraid,”

It was kind of hard not to be. As I looked at it. It was massive with sharp teeth and claws. Kept speaking like him. I started to get up. I need to take a closer look. I need to know I observed his features.

The scales, the three eyes, three arms, the tail. Angler fish bulb, and Fins. İt was not human, it couldn't be my brother. It sounds like my brother. Specifically when he's having a terrible day but has to be polite.

Am I actually still alive or did I die. What if he couldn't save me and maybe this is just a fragment of my imagination? I tried to stare at it in the eyes. İt wasn't looking back at me, it didn't have pupils but I knew that it wasn't looking at me.

Thousand thoughts in my head as I felt my cheeks get a little wet. I wasn't paying attention to what it was saying. But then I heard it. I heard it. Something that I wanted to hear and also didn't.

“My name is Sebastian. your only friend.”

“SEBASTIAN”

I exclaimed his name is Sebastian. He introduced himself with the name Sebastian. This isn't possible but if it's.

“Yes Sebastian”

He sounded confused and annoyed. He was looking at me in the eyes and I focused on his face. And I could see Sebastian İn his expression. What sealed the deal was a faded scar on the place that a nose would be. İt was him.

And he didn't know who I was. I had to remind him I had to say it. Even if it isn't him I have to. With tears in my eyes.

“Alejandro it's me Alejandro”

And then I saw something in his eyes shift the annoyance turning into something else. That I couldn't fully read with his new face. The silence was deafening as I felt my heart beat out of my chest and then the claw came toward me.

But I didn't fear it, I accepted it. As he grabbed me. Bringing me to his face. He stared at me and I stared back into his eyes. The smell was even more horrible here. And the grip was a little tight.

But I didn't care if he needed to take a closer look at me to confirm. As long as he just confirms it, as long as I can hear his voice. He lifted up one of his fingers to touch my face. My beard. I have a beard.

And then it hit me. I am all grown up. He doesn't recognize me because I'm a 25 year old man. A 25-year-old fuck up. As I finally understood that expression. İt was horror. Horror at what I have become.

I felt the grip tighten. He was going to kill me. I deserve it. I couldn't follow in his footsteps, I couldn't stay in school and I couldn't become a photographer. But before he did I wanted one thing.

“Can I hear you sing once again?”

And he put me down. Staring at me for a few seconds his expression slowly changed. Anger and sadness at the same time. As he opened his mouth I knew I deserved any insult that might come.

“Alejandro, why would you agree? Why would you throw your life away like this?”

His voice was pained and angry. Sounded like he was on the verge of crying. I knew the answer. I spit it out with tears.

“Because I had a feeling.”

Ending notes:

apologies for the first 10 minutes of this post I ended up adding the tags and then forgot about adding the rest

[that-ari-blogger]

One Last Hurrah (I'm Not That Girl (Reprise), As Long As You're Mine)

Those who are familiar with my blog will know that I don't particularly agree with the concept of genre. I think it is restrictive, and the dynamicism of storytelling makes it less important for writers than the general public is aware for.

Wicked backs up my claim, I think. The opening number is a booming epic that Glinda switches to a more quiet tragedy, at which point the first act becomes a love story set in a boarding school. The second act mirrors this, slightly, crashing in with a full scale war that Glinda again pushes back to a love story. That same love story and love triangle then takes precedent in act two. Until it abruptly doesn't.

As Long As You're Mine is the finale of the romance arc of this story, and it centres around enjoying the life you have before change takes effect. Although, the romance is a love triangle, Elphaba and Fiyero get a song, but Glinda? Where does her romance end?

With Elphaba. The love story of this musical ends with Glinda thinking of Elphaba.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Dead Poet Society)

"Don't wish, don't start Wishing only wounds the heart There's a girl I know He loves her so I'm not that girl"

Well gee, this looks familiar.

This is an interesting case of thematic association. Because on it's own, I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) isn't really that important or interesting. It's a nice melody about unrequited love, which is heartfelt and everything, but not really saying much.

But the word's "on it's own" are doing a lot of heavy lifting in that paragraph. This song is the reprise of an earlier number by the same name, and that means all of the meaning from that song gets carried over to this, and it gets to give its own take on those themes, which is interesting.

In the internet world of oversimplification and memes, one will probably come across the idea that teachers overanalyse things. The "the curtains are blue because he likes the colour blue" joke. The weird thing is, this joke is correct, but it misses the point entirely.

Yes, overanalysing media is exactly what folks like me do. Technically, you don't need to engage with anything more than the baseline of what you have been shown. If your takeaway from blue curtains is that the owner likes the colour blue, go for it, nobody is stopping you, and that is perfectly reasonable. The key, is that that approach is not inherently more or less valuable than an overanalytical one.

I will wager that blue curtains will evoke a certain emotion in you. Maybe they are a deep blue, like the night just before dawn, giving you a tired, more chill vibe. Maybe they are much lighter, like the sky, giving a more youthful atmosphere. Or maybe they do not match with the rest of the room at all, to comedic or unsettling effect.

The point I am making is that subtext exists, and you don't have to dwell on it, but its a vital part of how communication works. It's also usually a majour factor in engagement. So, at the very least, acknowledging it will help you understand why you do or don't like certain stories.

Once again, I turn to PBS's Wicked In Concert and recommend the versions of these songs from that. This version of I'm Not That Girl (Reprise) is sung by Gabrielle Ruiz, and is really good.

For the moment, however, I'd like to conduct a thought experiment. Imagine that Wicked is actually happening. This is a world where people spontaneously break into song and this isn't weird.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to make up a song once, let alone mimic a song that you were not present for?

In universe, there is only two ways Glinda would know this song. Either she overheard Elphaba pining, or Elphaba sang it to her. Take that as you will.

Exiting that thought experiment and back into overanalysing things because it is fun. I have another post about I'm Not That Girl and it's thematic implications (link), so check that out if it interests you, it will form a background for what I am saying here.

Essentially, I'm Not That Girl is the Jolene of musical theatre. It is a song about resignation, but it's core idea is this: Elphaba doesn't think of herself as beautiful or deserving of love. The person she associates with those qualities is Glinda herself. The song is essentially a biromantic heartbreak, when both of Elphaba's love interests love each other, and she can't bring herself to break that for either of them. That is the meaning ascribed to this song and these notes.

Now, Glinda sings the same melody, and it is suddenly flipped. She realises she has been outplayed in the romance game, but she can't bring herself to break it apart for either Fiyero, or Elphaba. The audience doesn't need to hear the same song again, just the highlight reel to let them know that these same emotions are being felt.

The song then cuts off, and is replaced by a much more active, much more passionate number, As Long As You're Mine. The meaning of which has been summed up best by my flatmate. "Reject society, bonk in a hedge".

That is kind of the entire point of this song, though, isn't it? Living in the moment in total freedom. It is proof that Elphaba isn't crazy, that there are others who see her dream, and that even if this goes wrong, the story will end with her happy.

Full disclaimer, I am asexual, so I cannot comment on the more intimate subtext of this song. I am aware it is happening, but I would rather stay away from the specific thematic significance of that, if that is ok.

The transition of this song comes through that repeated low note. It is hammered, like a war drum, and it drives home that urgency and collision of the two plots. This is the moment in which the musical goes from a romance to an epic, and that rhythm is a threat of what is to come.

Although it is notable that the swaying melodies of Elphaba and Fiyero overpower this drum, their love holding off the inevitable. Specifically, the instrument hitting the note changes from a piano to what my, admittedly lacking, musical knowledge thinks is a bass guitar. (Music scholars, please correct me on any of this). That change means that the heavy beat becomes distorted and stretched, as if time is stretching out.

"And just for this moment As long as you're mine I've lost all resistance And crossed some borderline. And if it turns out It's over too fast I'll make every last moment last As long as you're mine."

Would you look at that, there is even explicit lines in the song about stretching time out and seizing the day. Carpe Diem.

Dead Poet Society is one of the greatest films ever made, and that isn't just my Robin Williams bias speaking. Despite some elements that haven't aged well, the film is truly heart wrenching and has a meaning pretty similar to As Long As You're Mine.

As a side note, this film has a lot more similarities to Wicked than you think. It's about challenging unjust rules, and forging your own path. It's a film about personal freedom, essentially. Although it ends less than happily. It also has about the same amount of queer subtext as Wicked.

In any case, the central thematic of "Carpe diem, seize the day" tells its characters and its students to take life as it is, and live it to the fullest. It is about making the most out of limited time. Quite a lot like As Long As You're Mine.

The ending of Dead Poet Society is a tragedy. It ends with the death of a student and the loss of the teacher's job. But it also ends with hope. Things change in Dead Poet Society. The Latin teacher shifts up his lesson, the boys actually learn, and the "Oh captain, my captain" scene is synonymous with looking at the past and making the future better because of, and in spite of it.

That's a familiar ending, isn't it. The main character dies, and the people in their life resolve to make the world better because of the life they lived. In Wicked, the death isn't permanent, because this is a gospel and no main character in a gospel can ever stay dead for more than a few days.

That motif of making time last is reflected in the music as well. Each stanza has a squash and stretch thing going on with the formation. The triplet brings the three notes within together and plays them faster than is normal, making them feel like they are stumbling over each other, falling forwards, until that held note at the end evens out the pace. Things are moving quickly, but it is a conscious decision. to slow down.

Those held notes also create a feeling of clarity in the music. Once again, music knowledge ain't my forte, but to me, this seems like it is working in a similar fashion to key frame animation. Each held note is the crux of the phrase, and the rest is just making up the difference.

Which means that there is a neat little progression going on here. The first phrase, "kiss me too fiercely" contains two, a B flat on "fierce" and an octave fall to another B flat on "ly", as Elphaba tries to fly away, but is brought back down. Then there is the F on "tight", and the E flat on the latter third of "believing", before the stanza links back to B flat for "tonight".

This, according to google, forms a B flat chord with a suspended fourth, which loops back on itself to form a stable, self-enclosed sentence that descends to keep itself together.

The second phrase operates within the same notes but changes the inflection slightly.

That last note creates an upward inflection to prepare the audience for the chorus, rising into it to set up a crashing theme of power and freedom that... doesn't arrive yet.

Instead, we get the same notes repeated, mostly. It's a quiet moment, an E flat that rises to an F for "borderline", then to a high C for "fast", before resolving back to F and then down to a lower C.

Ok music scholars help me with this please. The sheet music that I have found for this song (link) claims the second part of "fast" is a C flat, which my piano app tells me doesn't exist. Any clarification on this would be really nice.

In short, this is understated, and this isn't the first time we've heard an understated first chorus in a Wicked love song, is it? That's how the first chorus of Defying Gravity sits, before Glinda joins Elphaba and pushes her to new confidence.

Which leads me back to my point. Elphaba relies on other people, she needs Fiyero to comfort her, but also to prove she is right. That's the moment she is cherishing.

When Fiyero joins in, he literally makes the song more hopeful by changing the key signature from E flat majour to C majour. He is more graceful and easy with this. He is the rock that Elphaba is anchored to and that supports her.

As such, that final chorus looks like this:

"Just for this moment. As long as you're mine. Come be how you want to, and see how bright we shine. Borrow the moonlight, until it is through. And know I'll be here holding you. as long as you're mine."

Freedom. Come be how you want to, I'll be there to support you. This is a musical about dreams and reality colliding, and this song is the victory lap of things going well. One small dream has become real, that being the desire for love. And if one is possible, what else can Elphaba do?

On a related note, if Fiyero is the rock that grounds and supports her, what might happen if he is taken away?

FINAL THOUGHTS

Bear with me. Chord analysis is new to me, so if that was completely false, please let me know. As a behind the curtain thing, this blog exists as a place for my hyper fixations to breathe, but also to help me learn more about this whole analytical thing. So, any advice from people who are more knowledgeable than me would be greatly appreciated.

You may note that I didn't talk that much about Fiyero, and there is a reason for that. Honestly, I don't think Fiyero's character in the second act of this musical is that interesting. I'm sure there is lots to talk about with him, but to me, he has been reduced to "love interest for the main character", which I find less captivating as "jock on the verge of an existential breakdown". That's just my opinion.

Next week, I will be looking at No Good Deed, the first true clash of dreams and reality, and Elphaba's breaking point. So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[undisputed-queer-a]

Kenny Omega's 'Close Friend' Kota Ibushi

As you may have seen Kenny Omega called in his boyfriend to protect him against the Blackpool Combat Club in AEW's third Blood and Guts match on the July 19th episode of AEW Dynamite. And I wish to once again stress that these two are or at least were a queer couple, because commentary made no reference to it calling them 'close friends'.

Now to be fair your bonafide top star being part of the LGBTQ+ community is possibly not the best look for a wrestling company, with wrestling mostly being seen as a masculine thing for straight men throughout the years (well also it's seen as a very homoerotic gay thing just ask EFFY he'll tell you. Like I think that most people imagining a wrestling fan they imagine a man although I'd be interested to see the actual statistics). Although AEW is the company that gave Antony Bowens a beautiful moment of declaring his sexuality on Rampage, so why can't the literal Golden LOVERS be presented as such. It's always funny to me when NJPW or AEW all but say the lovers are queer while announcing them as lovers through a microphone. Now maybe I'm greedy wanting more, I mean hey they're announced as the 'Golden Lovers' and they get to hug a lot so, but I'm not asking for them to dance to the ring to 'It's Raining Men' and have a live sex celebration on a pride flag I just want the shows to acknowledge it even slightly more. Omega and Ibushi have kissed so many times on wrestling shows, their matches are intensely homoerotic and among other things I could mention, Kenny Omega retweeted a tweet thread that repeatedly calls them a couple. So I don't know in my, possibly wrong, opinion calling them 'close friends' with no acknowledgement that it runs so much further than that isn't enough and I want more from AEW in the pair's upcoming weeks.

Also did you know that one of the Lovers' tag moves is a double 450 splash and they called this move the 'Golden Shower' have a nice time with that information.

This has been Undisputed Queer-a.

Slay The System, Shock The Cis-tem, and see you next Monday. Sources:

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/10083296-aew-blood-guts-2023-results-winners-live-grades-reaction-and-highlights https://www.reddit.com/r/SquaredCircle/comments/s3ewd0/a_collection_of_kenny_omega_kissing_kota_ibushi/

[prof-ramses]

Helluva Boss Apology Tour review

In retrospect, it's pretty funny that my expectations for this and The Full Moon ended up being reversed, the episode I expected to by focused on character interaction ended up being more action focused, while the episode I thought would be action focused ended up being mostly character interactions.

For those who just want my thoughts on the plot developments: Once again, I'm pleasantly surprised by how Stolas is handled, with a few moments sticking out for currently neutral reasons (it'll make more sense later).

Now, do get to the details:

I felt the opening sequence was slightly longer than needed, but I feel that was somewhat intentional, evoking a sense of unease.

The montage of the bulk of Blitz's apologies is a lovely tribute to what amounts to the first third of the show, this is easily the most callback heavy episode, but I'd say it feels earned given its place in the story. And I simply can't gloss over the brief acknowledgement of all the people who ship Martha and Mayberry, for someone like me, who has a love of those tongue in cheek fandom gags, it's a real good treat.

Speaking of references, don't think I missed Grandpa's cameo when Blitz gets to Earth, oddly enough, it's not even the characters first interactions with the hellaverse, as Brandon's channel has a sketch of Blitz and Moxxie going after Grandpa.

The song was perfectly serviceable, even if I'm not a fan of Bryce Pinkham's voice in general. I'll also take this opportunity to say I loved both the joke of an actual Blitz plush being burned and the brief shot of the last "party" Stolas attended.

The major point of the episode is obviously the conversation between Blitz and Stolas at the party, and I certainly have some thoughts on it. The first moment that stuck out to me was Stolas saying he wants someone to care about him and want him in their life, only for him to clarify a moment later that he meant it romantically feels like it was done to show that he's, at least on some level, aware that he's neglecting Octavia, which I can't wait to see catch up with him, hopefully by the end of the season. The second is when her doubles down on wanting to be wanted, the exact moment when I came up with this question:"Stolas why do you think no one wants you in their life?" And this is exactly what I hope is built on, Stolas has drowned himself in self pity for so long that there's very little to him as a person to the point that no one sees any real benefit in having any relationship with him, not just romantically, but platonically as well.

This is all building to my point, I'm genuinely starting to think that Blitz and Stolas' relationship will ultimately end on a mutually respectful break up, and if that does turn out to be true then I might genuinely end up somewhat respecting this plotline, despite the major road bumps in the first half of the season.

The last major point I want to hit is Verosika, who manages to be both more extreme and more subdued than before while still feeling completely natural. While I don't have any concrete ideas, I am very curious to see where her character goes in the future.

In conclusion, while I think I prefer The Full Moon, this is still a better episode than roughly half of season. I just hope they can keep it up in the last three episodes as well as the three shorts we'll be getting in July, August and September, which are indeed a thing, in case you weren't aware. That's all for now, feel free to leave any of your own thoughts below.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

To Have and To Hold (Falk Maria Schlegel x Fem! Reader) - Part I

Well Hello! So, uh, this happened during my hiatus. I decided before jumping back into, well, everything, that I should probably get my toes wet writing for one of my beautiful men. This is going to be a multi part fic but I decided to not make it a whole series, since I don't think it's going to be too too long. But, apologies for my absence to all the Powerwolf girlies, I should be back for good this time. I hope you enjoy, I'd love to know what you think so feel free to drop a comment!

WARNINGS: None

My Masterlist! ~ A03 Link!

Part II

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You set the steaming mug of coffee down on your desk, humming softly to yourself as you sorted through the pile of mail that had been delivered when making your daily morning drink run. You tucked the few envelopes under your arm, snatching up the mug with a sigh. You pushed into the room without thinking, your eyes trained on the cup in your hand to try and ensure that you didn't spill any of the contents. Your mouth fell open to speak as your eyes trailed upwards. The words dying in your throat, your jaw snapping shut as you realized that Roel was not alone in his office. “I am so sorry, I didn’t see a meeting on the schedule.” You felt warmth settle behind your cheeks as you met Falk’s warm brown eyes. “Father Falk, good morning.” You give him a soft smile that he returns with his own lopsided grin.

“Good morning to you too, Maus.” The sight of the amused smirk on Roel 's lips made you want to scream, you were sure you were going to get an earful about your flustered state after Falk had left. But, for now at least, you were too focused on the way his voice was still slightly gravelly and thick with sleep as he greeted you.

“You weren't interrupting anything, don't worry.” Roel finally decided to speak up, deciding he had let you simmer in your embarrassment long enough. “Falk just swung by for a visit before Mass.”

“Will you be attending Mass this morning, schwester?” Hearing him speak even a single word in his native tongue sent a shiver down your spine, his voice growing slightly deeper at the language shift.

“Of course, I wouldn't miss one of your sermons for anything Father.” Roel snorts out a laugh, trying to cover it up by turning it into a cough. Falk either didn't notice or decided that it wasn't worth the trouble to acknowledge.

“Well, I always look forward to seeing that pretty face of yours in the front pew.” You sucked in a sharp breath at his words, managing to knock over Roel’s mug of coffee, sending it smashing to the floor. Your eyes widen before they snap up to Falk before immediately turning to Roel.

“I'm going to get something to clean that up.” You rush from the room, slamming the door shut behind you. You buried your face in your hands, stomping your foot against the floor a few times to quell the need to thrash around after making yourself look like a fool. You groan as you start down the hallways, hopefully by the time you get back Falk would have left for Mass so you wouldn't have to be face to face with him after that.

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

“You’re going to give that poor girl a heart attack one of these days.” Roel chuckles.

“You're the one who encouraged me to flirt with her in the first place!” Falk exclaims in response, dragging a hand down his face. “Now look at what happened, she’s embarrassed, she’s probably going to do everything in her power just to avoid me after that.”

“If I remember right that's not something that wouldn't have stopped you befo-”

“This is different.” He snaps, cutting Roel off. He immediately raises his hand in defeat, knowing it was better to not try and poke at Falk’s temper.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to strike a nerve.” He leans back in his chair, eyes raking over his friend’s disheveled state. “You were up thinking about her again weren't you?”

Falk just shoots him a look. Of course he was, and Roel knew that was a stupid question to ask. It started off as something simple; glances that lasted a little too long, accidentally brushing his hand against hers. But, Falk’s little crush on his friend's assistant quickly grew into something much more than that. You eventually started coming around to see him, even outside of the errands you had to run for Roel. Your short conversations gradually became longer, you would go to see him to borrow books, he would invite you to his study for afternoon tea. “It’s wasteful to make a whole pot for myself, it'll get cold before I finish it.” He would always argue. “You know… I'm not a young man anymore Roel. It's foolish of me to even entertain the idea of courting her.”

“It doesn't seem to change the fact that she’s interested.” Falk struggled not to roll his eyes in response.

“Coming from you, I don't know how true that statement is.” He quips in response, causing Roel to chuckle.

“Listen, all I'm saying is it wouldn't hurt to try.” Roel states your name with a particular fondness as he tries to find the words to describe you to his fellow high clergy member, in his years of working with you he not only found an incredible assistant but also a friend. “She’s… a bit difficult to read, sometimes, I won't lie.” He chuckles. “But, I can tell. The way she looks at you, the way she straightens up and almost glows whenever you're in a room, my friend, that's the closest thing to being in love with another person I've ever seen.” He explains. Roel sighs, leaning back in his chair as he studies Falk’s somewhat disheveled state, it was obvious this was eating away at him. 

Falk was reaching the age and the point in his career where he was being expected to settle down. With his title, however, things worked a bit differently than your standard marriage. Falk being a high clergy member meant that there were specific traditions and rituals that were passed down throughout his family that he was expected to partake in. “Okay, hypothetically, let’s say her feelings are mutual. Is all of this something I could really ask of her?”

“Well, unfortunately my friend, that's a question only the two of you can answer.” The two men perk up at the sound of you chittering to one of your fellow Siblings in the hallway as you make your way back towards the office. “You seem to be pretty confident that she’s you Seelenbindung.” He continues quickly, in a hushed tone. Both of them listen cautiously for the click of the doorknob signaling your entrance.

“Listen, I know it sounds crazy, I know the whole soul tie concept is nothing more than an old wives tale-”

Roel cuts him off, jutting himself closer to the other man, “old wives tale or not, all of us can tell that there’s been something different about you. You're more irritable, high strung… all of that until she’s by your side.” The pair fell silent as you made your way back into the room.

“I should be heading out to prepare for Mass.” Falk pipes up cheerfully, but despite his pleasant demeanor you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Falk stands, nodding his goodbye to Roel before starting to walk out. He pauses as he reaches you, his eyes scanning over your much smaller form in a way that has heat settling behind your cheeks. “Schwester, I look forward to seeing you again later.” He gives you a wink before quickly slipping from the room. Your gaze landed on Roel, the shit eating grin already spreading across his features.

“Don't even start.” You groan, walking over to the puddle of coffee you had spilled and dropping to your knees to clean it up. You pause at Roel calling your name.

“Don't worry about that right now. Come, sit.” He motions to the chair across from him. You noticed the leather arm was still warm to the touch, the image of Falk sitting there flashing through your mind and making your heart thrum in your chest.

“Why do I feel like I'm about to get in trouble for something?” You ask with a nervous chuckle.

“What did we talk about last week?” You groaned, collapsing back in the seat, whatever professionalism you had immediately disappeared at his question.

“It's not that simple!” You exclaim in response. “What? You expect me to walk in here, bat my lashes, and tell him to take me to dinner?”

“That is exactly what I'm saying to you!” He booms, standing up with a force that sends his chair scraping backwards against the hardwood floor. “Do you understand how much that would make that man melt? If you walk in here and look at him with those big pretty eyes I think you could convince him to do a lot of things, personally.” 

“It's not like he would feel the same way.” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest and turning to the window to hopefully hide the defeated expression on your face.

“How do you know?” He asks softly in response.

“Because he's a High Cler-”

“That means nothing and you know that.” You chew the inside of your cheek in irritation. He was right, you did know that. There was no rule against Siblings and High Clergy members starting relationships, it wasn't something your superiors believed in. This was supposed to be a place to experience joy in all aspects of your life, dictating who you can and can't fall in love with just never seemed to sit right with their ideals.

“I'm scared…” you finally admit, and he didn't miss the slight tremble in your voice as you spoke. “If he finds out it could ruin everything between us.”

“I think you need to remember this is Falk we're talking about here.” He finally sits back down with a soft sigh, resting his elbows on the dark wooden surface of his desk. “You saying your entire relationship will just disappear because he finds out you have feelings for him… well I'd say that's a little harsh, wouldn't you agree?” He did have a point. You were talking about the same man who sat there drying your tears and telling you that you still looked beautiful after spilling wine on your dress at a party, who would offer up his free time to go visit with the kids in the Abbey's daycare, who no matter the time of day or night always offered you a safe place to go work through anything with a warm fire in his hearth and a piping hot pot of tea ready in a moments notice. This was Falk you were talking about. Roel took your silence as a cue to continue. “Now, I know I'm just some old man who doesn't know anything.” A soft smile passes over his lips at the sound of you giggling at his joke. “But, I think you should go get ready for Mass, make yourself look all nice.” He glances down, scanning quickly over the planner he had open in front of him. “Oh, would you look at that, after Mass Father Falk just happens to have the rest of the day off.” He looks back at you, his eyes narrowing slightly as he leans in. “Are you feeling alright, ducky? You're not looking so good… maybe you should take the rest of the day off as well.” Your jaw fell open in shock as you tried to stammer out any words at all in response, but nothing came. He nods in the direction of the door, “get out of here, I don't want to see you until tomorrow.”

“Don't get mad at me if I just end up having a relaxing day at home.” You chuckle as you push yourself out of your chair. “But, thank you Roel.”

“Oh, don't you worry sweetheart. If I have anything to say about it you're in for a lovely afternoon with your little crush.” He smirks in response before turning back to his paperwork. You just simply roll your eyes in response, used to this kind of behavior from him after so many years working at his side.

“Goodbye Roel.” You call loudly as you swing the door shut behind you. You cleaned up your desk as you got ready to head out. Checking the time, you realized you had about an hour left to get ready before Mass, you decided that for once you would actually take Roel’s advice seriously considering it sounded like he was up to something. You found yourself standing in front of your wardrobe, agonizing over your outfit decision as you pulled out just about every article of clothing you owned. “Too formal, too formal, too formal.” You cursed under your breath. Your closet was filled with clothes suitable for meetings and business trips, but not much else. All of your casual clothes would be acceptable for Mass but you felt like it was defeating the purpose of making yourself look nice. You pulled out a plain, black dress. It was one of your favorites, it hugged your curves in all the right places. You stood in front of your mirror, holding the fabric up to your body. “I guess it's better than nothing.” You shrug, deciding to take the plunge.

You smoothed the dress down your legs, making sure your hair was fixed how you liked it and that you hadn't managed to already smudge your makeup. You stepped carefully into a pair of low heels taking one final deep breath before leaving the safety of your dorm. “Someone's got a hot date!” Father Matthew’s voice booms from behind you. You whip around, eyes wide as you hurry up to him.

“Keep your voice down.” You whisper aggressively at him. “I'm trying to not draw attention to myself.”

“Wearing that?” He smiles playfully at you. “Hun, I don't know if you've noticed but there isn't a single person in this room that hasn't checked you out at least once. You look hot, just accept it.” You groan, rolling your eyes before turning to continue on your way to Mass. “So who's the lucky guy?” He jogs to catch up with you, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he saunters at your side.

“I don't believe that's any of your concern, is it Father?” You quip, causing Matthew to grumble.

“You're no fun, Charles and Attila’s assistants always catch me up on their gossip.”

“Well, Rachel is the biggest gossip I know and Jeremy, even if he means well, can't keep a secret to save his life.” You wave to a few Siblings that greet you on your way into the chapel. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my seat.” The phrasing of your words was enough to set Matthew off.

“Your seat, huh?” He chuckles. He leans in, looking around to make sure no one was trying to eavesdrop. “You got all dressed up because you knew you would be seeing Falk, isn't that right little bird?” The sudden color change of your cheeks gave you away immediately. “Well, don't let me keep you from the object of your affection any longer. Just make sure you swing by and tell me all about it later.” He winks before ducking into the crowd, disappearing before you had the chance to yell at him. You hurried up the aisle, hoping your usual seat would still be open considering the massive turnout this morning. You glanced up at the pulpit only to lock eyes with Falk. His mouth slightly agape as you watched him drink in the sight of you. You're snapped from your thoughts when a hand is placed on your back. You recognize the face you're met with, but just barely. You felt the need to cross your arms over your chest as he leered in your direction, your dress leaving you feeling exposed under his malicious gaze 

“Now how did I miss a pretty thing like you?” Your brows furrow at his mumbled statement. The hand he had on you now burning against your skin.

“Excuse me?” You step away from him, his arm smacking against his side as it falls away..

“What can't you take a compliment?” He chuckles, straightening himself up to make himself appear bigger. “Wait a second, I know you. You're Roel's girl, right?”

“I'm his assistant.” Your snap I'm response, eyes darting around, looking for an escape.

“It's a shame that you let that pompous asshole keep you all to himself.” He sneers, realizing that he wouldn't be able to win you over with what he considered charm. “I guess it makes sense that his lap dog would be such a stuck up bitch.” You took one step forward, ready to put this jackass in his place. Before you had the chance a body placed itself between you and the random sibling who had decided to give you grief. It takes you a moment to recognize the familiar sight of Falk’s vestments. “Father Fa-”

“Shut up.” He growls, pushing the now terrified younger man back with every step. “You are going to turn your sorry ass around and pack up your belongings, I want you out of here by nightfall.”

“Sir, I don't know what this is about-”

“Don't. Play. Dumb.” Every word dared him to try and come up with another excuse, you could feel the seething rage rolling off of Falk in waves. “Since it seems you don't remember, Father Roel is your superior.” The color drained from the man's face. Falk adjusted his stance, blocking you from his gaze when the man's eyes flashed to you. “Don't look at her. I saw your little stunt, the last thing I want is for a member of my ministry to be so shamelessly disrespectful and predatory towards any of the other siblings. You’re lucky I'm letting you just walk out of here after what you just called her, I suggest you get out of here before I change my mind.” Falk watches him run off with his tail between his legs, making sure he had left the chapel before allowing his attention to focus on you. “I'm sorry you had to see that Maus.”

“Thank you.” His mouth snaps shut, whatever he was about to say dying in his throat at your thanks. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of that… I'm really happy you were here to protect me.” He breathes out a laugh, giving you a polite nod in response.

“I'll always be here to protect you.” You grow flustered under his warm gaze, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before your eyes dart to the floor. 

“Father Falk, um…” you wring your hands nervously. You had to take matters into your own hands before Roel inevitably blew things out of control. You looked back up at him, your eyes meeting his warm golden brown ones. “Can I talk to you after Mass?” You couldn't do it, losing all of your nerve at the sight of his patient smile.

“Of course you can Maus. I'm free the rest of the day so we can talk as long as you like.” He chuckles. “I'll be looking forward to it.” He winks at you before hurrying up to the pulpit, doing his final checks before starting Mass. You quickly found your seat in the front row. Your gaze catching Falk’s as he greeted the congregation, you didn't miss the sight of the faint smirk passing over his lips as you locked eyes.

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

You waited patiently in the pew, watching person after person approach Falk at the pulpit. Finally, as the last person left, you rose to your feet. You eagerly approached the altar, you could already feel your words tangling together as Falk’s eyes met yours. “Can I take you out to lunch?” You freeze when he beats you to the punch, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Yeah,” you let out a flustered giggle as you tried to string together a sentence. “I have the rest of the day off.”

“Perfect.” He gives you a lopsided grin. “I’ll meet you in the garage in a half hour?” You nod, swaying on your heels slightly.

“Works for me.” You blush as he carefully studies your features. “I’ll see you then.” You politely excuse yourself, trying your best to walk calmly out of the chapel. The moment the door closed behind you, you kicked off your shoes and bolted down the hall. Turning every corner perfectly from memory until you skidded to a halt in front of Roel’s office. You knocked firmly on the door, hearing him welcome you in from the inside.

“Well don’t you look nice.” He smiles at you. “How was Mass?”

“What did you do?” You point an accusatory finger at him.

“Normally you would be aiming in the right direction, but whatever happened, I have nothing to do with.” He explained, his tone perplexed. You froze on the spot, your arm falling slack.

“So you mean, you don’t have anything to do with him asking me out to lunch?” You asked, confused. 

He points to the chair across from him, “sit, explain.” You fall into the seat, recounting the afternoon's events to him. Roel stared back at you with a shocked expression, comparable to an old woman clutching her pearls. “That son of a bitch beat me to the punch.” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“So you were planning something!” You exclaim.

“I may or may not have planned to slip you both an anonymous letter asking you to meet at a specific place at a specific time in order to… encourage you to spend some alone time together.” You can’t help but chuckle at the lengths he was willing to go to. “Guess I didn’t have to after all.”

“What am I going to do?” You groan, anxiously raking a hand through your hair.

“What do you mean? You’re going to go down there and have a wonderful afternoon with him.”

“It’s not that simple.” You attempt to argue.

“Oh, I think it might be.” He rebuttals instantly. “Just think of it like we’re talking.”

“I want him to, you know, like me, so no, I don't think I will.” You quip in response, causing Roel’s jaw to fall slack in shock.

“Wow, and after all this time I considered you a friend.” He feigns a hurt tone in his voice before it almost immediately dissolves into a chuckle, you letting out a soft laugh of your own. “But, in all seriousness, you don't have anything to worry about. You've been alone with Falk plenty of times, what about this is so different?”

“This is the first time him and I are going to be alone together without an excuse to hide behind.” You explain slowly, trying to pinpoint what exactly was making this so nerve wracking for you. “Before it was business meetings, or I was delivering something for you and it turned into a prolonged visit, asking to borrow books for my studies, it’s my turn to help with Mass for the week, there's always a reason that can just explain away why we’re together… This time it's just because we want to be together. There's no event to prepare for, no notes to go over. It's just the two of us, sitting across from each other at a table, with all the time in the world for him to realize that I'm nothing special.”

“You are more special than you could ever realize, I have a feeling Falk’s already figured that out.” He glances up at the time and then back down at you. “Do me a favor, go see Charles.” You shoot him a curious look. “He’ll give you a better idea of what to talk about. Falk and I might be friends but I feel like you're looking for more… more intelligent topics to discuss with him than what I could provide.” You share a laugh. Even if everything wasn't magically fixed like you were hoping, your talk with Roel did make you feel a bit better.

“Thank you Roel, for everything.” A tender smile passes over his lips before he stands up.

“Come here.” He beckons you closer, pulling you into a tight hug. “I know it's hard, but try not to be too nervous. I think out of everyone at the Abbey I know you better than most, and if he can't see how wonderful you are he's an idiot.” He stops down slightly, taking you by the shoulders as he brings his eyes level with yours. “Everything is going to be just fine.” You sucked in a deep breath, balling your hands into fists as you realized your fingers were trembling at your side. “You can do this.” He states firmly.

“I can do this.” You respond in a similar tone.

The short walk to Charles’ office felt almost insurmountable at the moment. Every second that ticked by only brought you closer to seeing Falk. You were excited, of course, but you couldn't stop the anxiety that drowned you as it bubbled up in your throat. You tap gently on the heavy door, hearing Charles call for you to come in. “What a pleasant surprise.” He smiles warmly at you, removing his reading glasses from their position perched on his nose and setting them down on his desk. “What can I do for you, my dear?”

“I'm sorry to bother you, Father, Roel told me I should come talk to you.” You fall comfortably into one of the worn leather chairs across from him, folding your hands neatly in your lap as you recount the events of this morning to him. Charles listened attentively, doing little more than give you an occasional nod or hum to show he was paying attention. “And now I have to go meet him downstairs in twenty minutes and it’s taking everything I have to not just run off and disappear because I'm so scared I'm going to make myself look like an idiot in front of him.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He coos fatherly. “Don’t trouble yourself with thoughts like that. You're very smart and I'm sure the two of you have a lot in common, you shouldn't have any trouble keeping up a conversation with him.” He chuckles, reaching across his desk to pick up your hand in his. “I could tell you exactly what to talk about, what to say, things that are going to impress him. But, sweetheart, falling in love isn't about being perfect.” Your cheeks grew warm at the mention of falling in love. Falk was definitely a man you could see a future with down the line, that was something apparent from when you first acknowledged your feelings for him, but the road to get to that point was always so terrifying you had trouble finding the nerve to even try.

“I just don't want to mess this up.” Your voice comes out softly.

“You won't.” He reassures you. “You just need to go down there and be your usual radiant self and the rest will fall into place.” You give his hand a gentle squeeze, trying your best to put on a brave face. “You should get going, don't want to be late.” He pays your arm before pulling his hand back.

“Yessir, thank you for your advice.”

“Of course my dear, anytime.” You smile at each other before you get up, preparing to leave. Just as your hand slid over the knob Charles chimes in again, “and don't be such a stranger. I know Roel has you on a tight leash but the rest of us would like to see you from time to time.” He chuckles.

“I'll make sure to have a word with him.” You shoot him a playful wink in response before you slip out of the room. You tried your best to steady your racing heart as you made your way down to the garage. You paused as you reached the top of the stairs, Falk adjusting the cuff of his sleeve he had rolled up as he hurried in your direction. He glances up, freezing in place when his eyes land on you.

“Perfect timing, huh?” He chuckles. Slowly striding forward to close the distance between you. “I'm really happy you agreed to come with me.”

“Well thank you for asking.” You smile sweetly at him. “What's the plan for the day?”

“Well,” the two of you head down the stairs side by side. “There’s this hole in the wall cafe I like to go to sometimes. After that I have something planned, but it's a surprise.” He chuckles.

“Fine, keep your secrets.” You giggle. Falk pulls his keys out of his pocket, twirling the ring around his finger a few times before catching the keys in his hand with a jingle. He opens the door for you, taking your hand carefully in his own as he helps you lower yourself into the car. Falk walks towards the back of the car, you can't stop a smile from passing over your lips as you catch sight of him shaking his hands to try and steady his nerves before getting into the driver's seat. His eyes trail over you, you blush under his gaze.

“Sorry… I just can't get over how pretty you look.” You breathe out a laugh, your cheeks flushing at his compliment.

“Thank you Fath-” You freeze, cringing slightly as you realize you might be acting too formally.

“Just Falk is fine Maus.” He chuckles at your flustered state. “I think we’ve known each other long enough to drop the honorifics, don’t you?” You nod, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap.

“Sorry, I'm just a little nervous I guess.” You admit, looking out the window to avoid meeting his gaze accidentally.

“Nervous?” He asks softly. “Maus, I can promise you there's nothing to be nervous about.” He pauses for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek as he pulls over whether or not to say something. “Would it help to know I'm a little nervous myself?”

“You?” It was hard to hide your tone of disbelief. “Why?”

“Well, it just so happens that the most beautiful woman I've ever met agreed to have lunch with me this afternoon. Now you're sitting here in my passenger seat and for the life of me I can't think of a single thing to talk about.” Your eyes widen slightly, your head snapping in his direction. You couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled up in your throat, dropping your face into your hands as you struggled to regain your composure.

“I'm sorry.” You breathe through a fit of laughter, wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand. “I was so scared I was going to look stupid because I didn't know what to talk to you about.”

“I guess we just got ourselves all worked up over nothing then.” He chuckles. You notice his shoulder visibly relax, the prior tension fading away with ease as you both acknowledged how silly you were both acting. The silence you shared after that wasn't uncomfortable, if anything it was actually kind of nice. Falk turns on the radio, some random station crackling to life in the confined space. His hand leaves the knob, hovering in midair for a moment before he tentatively rests it over your own. “Is this okay?” He asks softly. You nod, carefully pushing your fingers in between his. 

“This is more than okay.” You smile back at him. You gasped as a small head jutted out of one of the windows of the car in front of you, a small hound dog letting his long ears flap freely in the breeze.

“I take it you're a dog person?” That was all it took. One question tumbled from Falk’s lips and any nerves left between the two of you melted away. You spent your long drive swapping stories of your various escapades around the Abbey, Falk told you about moments from his childhood that he still held onto with extreme fondness.

“You know, I've always been curious about what it was like for you and the other High Clergy members growing up, I imagine you were all under a lot of pressure.” You muse, your thumb tracing around one of Falk’s prominent knuckles.

“Eh, it's probably not that different. I went to school, had friends, I grew up like any other normal kid. It wasn't until I hit puberty that any changes really started to come up.” He chuckles at how effortlessly he referred to these changes. “It doesn't always go over very well when a 16 year old finds out they have to transform into a hideous beast once a month.”

“Hey, same here.” You joke. “Except I learned that harsh reality at 12 and instead of the super strength and the cool transformation my body just releases an alarming amount of blood once a month.” Falk laughs loudly, making you smile in response.

“Yeah, I guess that also has to really suck didn't it?”

“You really had no idea until you were 16?” You ask.

“It's not exactly the easiest thing to explain to a child.” He ponders over his thoughts for a moment before continuing. “To be honest, my parents weren't even sure the transformation was going to happen. See, you have families like Charles and Matthew’s. Both of them changed, and I think both of them started showing signs before I ever did. Attila is an only child, so is Roel.”

“And you?” You question, hanging on every word of his explanation.

“I have an older sister.” He responds.

“When did she first transform?”

“She didn't. At first my parents thought it was just some type of delay, there was no reason for her to have to take over from my father at the time so they figured it would be better to just wait it out. It wasn't until I started to show signs of my first transformation that they looked into it a bit more seriously. Apparently, nobody really knows why this transformation happens. There's been tests done with genetics, learned behavior that could awaken it, any rituals that would cause or stop it, nothing.” He absentmindedly fidgets with your fingers as he talks.

“So, they never figured it out?” He shakes his head in response to your question.

“No, she’s just as mortal as you are.” He sighs. “I'm sorry when you have to meet her, she still has a huge chip on her shoulder about it.”

“When I have to meet her, huh?” You shoot him a flustered grin. “Already planning on bringing me home to meet the family, huh?” You tease, lightly nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Sorry, it's way too soon for me to start talk-”

“I'm flattered.” You cut him off, watching the panic briefly pass over his features as he worries he said the wrong thing. “Our first date isn't even over and you've already decided I'm decent enough to meet your parents, I must be doing a damn good job at the whole small talk thing.” You both laugh.

“I can officially say this is a date, huh?” His deep brown eyes meet yours, the smirk lacing its way across his lips threatening to make you melt on the spot.

“I mean, if you want it to be.” You stutter in response, making Falk chuckle.

“I just wish I'd planned something a little more exciting, all things considered.”

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Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @belnovacaine @iamsarahsaysso (If you would like to be added or I forgot you please let me know!)

[vossn]

Month 3-to-4-ish on Testosterone

The reason why I haven't really updated is that there hasn't been much happening! Previous changes continue:

I'm getting hairier. Thighs, stomach, arms, hands, chest, everywhere. Starting to grow sideburns. My chin is fluffy. Odd detail, but my hands also look less feminine, it is hard to describe, but you know what I mean when you see it :D

My voice continues dropping. It is surprisingly low for the short time that has passed, but I'm enjoying it. I'll try to put together a comparison of my old fanfic readings vs now some time. Singing is hard because I start to squeak if I even try to go slightly high, and I am slightly hoarse, but I am confident this will ease over time.

I cry less. I can't even name the last time I cried, and it comes much less easy to me now, which is good, because god did I annoy myself with how fast I'd get teary-eyed.

I also can safely say that dysphoria has substantially lessened. There were times in my life where I'd just spend each and every evening sobbing my eyes out, go to sleep, and would wake up knowing I'd have to do it all again. I was so dysphoric that I felt no euphoria at all, in fact I often felt quite dead. If you're at this stage: It does get better, but I also know it hurts like hell. It won't hurt forever.

Nowadays I look in the mirror and I just think I look like a dude, I don't quite look my age, sure, but seeing him in the mirror makes me very happy. I don't pass super well, I have a bit of a ..shape, but it doesn't bother me like it used to.

My biggest adjustment with transition has been that there's a very stark difference between wanting to be something and actually being something, actually living it. That's mainly the fault of our society, not being trans itself. There are things I would have never thought possible to happen this way when I began, and had I known, I would have been scared out of my mind.

The trick is finding a few people who, fiercely and unapologetically, are in your corner. Shout-out to my grandma, who 1. acknowledged how hard it must be for me at a time where everyone was just straight-up blaming me, 2. offered me a place to stay and help if i ever needed it, thus being cooler at 92 years old than her daughter ever will be.

I like to think I'm better, at least for the time being. Far from great, but better.

That's all for today, I'm off to pursue one of the shittiest sports you can do while trans: swimming :)