#but like I think they'd be a great couple
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^^^ for an irl example, I had a supervisor not too long ago. White, cishet, in his 30s, grew up in a v white environment. Genuinely nice, funny guy who worked hard. He gave me shit (in a v joking, non-serious way) about being the physically weakest/having the lowest endurance of our team in a physically demanding job but if anyone told him that they didn't like the way he joked about something he'd immediately apologize and never do it again. Def not far right or alt right guy, not really woke but also was a genuinely nice person who cared.
There was a point where HR was asking each team member privately about their experiences and if there were any concerns we wanted to bring up. None of us had any and we said so. She went "are you sure? Nothing at all?" We all said "nope our crew and our crew leader all get along great and we work safely".
Then it turns out that the first crew he had years back was a nightmare. He didn't find out til well after they had all left for other jobs but according to his boss, they demanded that they be able to interview him before he was hired. When they were told it would be impractical but that they could suggest questions they wanted to ask, they wanted to ask what his sexual orientation was, his gender assigned at birth, and his political views, all of which are v illegal to ask in an interview so they were told "no were not going to ask that because we cannot legally ask that".
The next year or so was filled with complaints about him. They claimed he was laughing at them (he was someone who just laughed a lot in general), was harassing them via eye contact, was making inappropriate jokes, etc, over basically everything he did. To the point where he would just avoid eye contact with all of them all the time, and at lunch breaks he'd just go and sit by himself, silently, cuz they never communicated directly with him about what was bothering them so he couldn't correct behaviors except avoid contact altogether. when he tried to ask them to explain they'd blow up at him. They also complained that he misgendered them, and he admitted that he had misused pronouns once or twice when they first met, but he said he apologized and corrected himself.
He told us about a childhood friend who came out to him a couple of years ago. He said "yeah, she told me her name is [name] now. She's happier than she ever was when we were kids, and we're still close." He never once dead named her or used the wrong pronouns when talking about her, so I'm inclined to think that it was a genuine mistake when first meeting new ppl. He said his mental health really suffered during that time, not being able to have any social connection at work and feeling like literally anything he did could be used to file a formal complaint, but he really needed the job so he endured it. No crew after that ever made a formal complaint about him.
Meanwhile, our crew of 5 with at least 2 queer ppl on it and 3 POC had a great time with him. The worst thing he ever said was that he thought that no one really cared about representation when he was a kid, but he sincerely listened when I told him about being Mulan for Halloween over 2 years in a row because she was the only kid friendly East Asian character I knew of at the time and that was a big deal for me.
Ppl aren't worse or evil for traits they didn't choose, and a lot of ppl just need a civil conversation to understand others' perspectives that they weren't previously exposed to or aware of. It's not your responsibility to spend the energy to have those conversations but not spreading hateful rhetoric about ppl because of traits they cannot change costs nothing
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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not to start another post with "kinda want to write a fanfic about" and then not write the fanfic but I kinda wanna write a fanfic where Loki feels so bad about the role he played in the Jotunheim invasion and the punishment Thor's facing because of it that he jumps through the Bifrost after him. and since he wasn't just yeeted out of his home, he's a lot less disoriented so he helps Thor get his shit together and they both absolutely expect Odin to call them back (or at least call Loki back like he wasn't officially banished) but he doesn't so they're pretty much stuck here now. Loki still has his powers so he's able to inadvertently prove to Jane and co. that they're gods pretty easily, and Jane obviously decides they gotta take them in. Loki and Jane really hit it off because they're both booksmart people and Thor and Darcy really hit it off because she's weird and Thor's more than happy to go along with it and they're one big happy sciencey/magical family. and then a few days later after Odin's decided they've both learned their lesson, he brings them back to Asgard. he still needs a successor, after all, and he can't do that if they're both banished. except??? they don't really wanna be king anymore??? like yeah Thor misses his hammer and his lightning and all but tbh he really likes Midgard like there's so much less pressure to make something of himself he just gets to have fun. and Loki's always kinda known deep down that he never stood a chance at being king and at this point he's very obviously a last-ditch effort but he's having so much more fun working with Jane and Selvig than he would on the throne and actually if he could just go back to his room he has a really good textbook that Jane would like to see—
#''only one of you can ascend to the throne but you were both born to be kings'' their ass#i believe in 'nobody becomes king let Odin work his shit out himself' supremacy#fic idea?#thor#loki#back on my bullshit#lokane#not explicitly but. like. it could be 👀#it could also be loki/selvig if you wanna be real weird about it#i think they'd make a great couple :')#wait actually does this ship exist hang on#okay ao3 has three fics#two from 2012 and one from 2016#and the 2012 ones are both exclusively that ship and only one calls it a crack ship#i wanna contribute now#i wont but i want to#just to say i did y'know 💀#okay sorry im done goodbye
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"this is the third secondment youve been selected for" "i thought it was the second" ... "this is your fourth secondment"
#ive called 13 a liar a Lot this is yazs turn#lying to fucking everyone babe this is great <3#her and 13 would literally be SUCH a funny couple if they just like communicated and had the rest of their lives together#like very powerful but also so fucking funny#they wouldnt necessarily stop lying to each other i think but they wouldnt believe each other anymore and like#/know/ the other wont believe them which makes for a great but also really funny kind of trust#and then how they'd just keep doing this to anyone else like turn it useful#back each other up like in fugitive and lotsd#it would just be soooo funny they'd be so funny#can you imagine#theyd be so great
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DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D
#just me hi#i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv#cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy#i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :>#i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol#character customization Truly#//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh#these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3#these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33#//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D#yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of#the Fun :DD#been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe#in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times#/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of#trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset.#and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing#that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf#/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude#i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh#they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times#there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs#like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil#funny hfbvs)#//OH i've gtg now lol --#ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D
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something that makes me laugh when I actually take a second to think about it is that when we (system) are unsure who is fronting and care about figuring it out then one of the newer questions we'll ask ourselves is "how do i feel about guz.ma from pokemon right now" SBDHDHJSSKL
IF THERE'S FEELINGS OF SWOONING THEN THAT'S ME. if there isnt then it's literally any other part of the brain SBDHDNMSL
#ITS SO FUNNY THAT THATS A THING THAT WORKS. I AM UNWELL FOR THAT MAN I STG#LIKE. Chase will go ''yeah I'd hit that'' but not feel anything more#Parsley thinks they'd have fun committing crimes together SBFHJSL#a couple of the kiddos do think he'd be a fun caregiver/paternal type figure fjfkdl they're like yeah he'd give great hufs#hugs*#and i go yes he absolutely would ur so right. he'd give phenomenal hugs absolutely#and theres like threee? parts that still dont understand tech and fandom very well so they have no thoughts abt him at all fhfkdl#idk what Kam and Lake think ... looks over at them. eyes emoji. DBDBDJL#''he's fine.'' says the lesbian flatly. Lake gives a noncommittal answer LMAO thats fair thats fair ...#ANYWAYS this is a silly post but fjdksl it makes me laugh that this is a thing apparently LOL#dandy.cmd
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offproud reunion in paris 🥰
#offproud#off jumpol#proud oranicha#kwang atiporn#thai actors#gmmtv#byofftay#2024#atp they're either dating or proud is the richest nepo baby ever being able to fly to fashion week like this hahaha#tbh I do ship off & proud I think they'd make a great couple#and proud seems to be off's type based on his ex gf lol
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@witchblade not even Trying to get his kids into the special werewolf boxes when he knows there are going to be counselors still in the area
#cocoa replies#like i do think it's genuinely great character building for the hacketts#bc it presents such an image of like. oh so they've been dealing with this for a couple years now and even though they have protocols ready#they're still so selfish that at the end of the summer they let themselves run loose. like. why. almost definitely out of some sense that#like being locked up is being deprived of their dignity so they'd rather kill a few people every autumn than have to do this one thing#it's great. really funny
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This artist is so good and paints such poignant pieces with such intense yet subtle expressions and gestures that they are able to make Jack and Oswald look semi interesting to me
#The problem with Jack and Oswald is that they belong to PH#They would have been extremely interesting and compelling to me written slightly different in a slightly different context#belonging to a different story#But they dynamic has the misfortune of being in PH where basically every other character and even themselves has imo#way more intense and interesting dynamics than these two have. Because they have a semi normal fictional dynamic#So they come out to me as extremely dull#(which happens also in idk Wutherin.g Heights. Har.eton and Catherine give the impression of being an extremely dull and boring dynamic#to a lot of readers but they'd be The Couple in any other book. The problem is they belong to a book in which even the secondary characters#have a more intense love-and-grief-to-destruction dynamic with someone else)#I also personally dislike Oswald in great part for his relationship with Jack in the context of his sister#(which I would adore in a darker gothic-like AU because of the implications) but I truly think the main issue here for me is that they just#come off as extremely dull to me#And also that most fans portray the dynamic in a way that feels very ooc ngl#Like. I've seen descriptions. And. It's not that at all. You're attributing them traits they don't have#At times explicitly so in concrete chapters and panels#But that's not a them problem it's a fandom problem (though fandom makes me dislike them somewhat when otherwise I am neutral in interest)#The them problem is the dull-in-context thing#I would have gone mad for them in idk Tsubasa which is what I was reading/watching before PH#A pity they aren't but who they are in the context in which they find themselves#A pity that they too as fictional character suffer this small curse of mediocre real people haha#But yes anyway shfkjsks this artist is soooo good it's like getting a glimpse of what I imagine other people see in them#And I appreciate that a lot both because of the art itself and because of how they play with the story and the concepts of the characters#I love their art a lot#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later
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pop goes metal
for @corrodedcoffinfest prompt 'alternate universe'
rated t | 964 words | cw: language | tags: famous corroded coffin, pop star steve harrington, flirting, getting together
🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
"No fuckin' way are we working with him," Eddie argues with their manager. "You're always so worried about our image and then you go and have us doing a song with a fuckin' pop artist?"
The manager, Anthony, rolls his eyes. "It'll broaden your fanbase. You know who spends money on shit? Women. You know who likes Steve Harrington? Women."
"Does he even write his own shit?" Gareth asks.
"Does it matter?" Eddie turned to him with a glare. "Even if he writes it, it's not our style."
"Maybe we could at least hear what he's trying to work with us on?" Jeff, always the calming presence, asked towards Anthony.
"He sent over a sample before we sign any agreements."
Eddie sat down in the chair furthest from everyone else, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Now, this isn't an official recording. Just what he did on his phone on his tour bus with his acoustic guitar. He arranged the bass already for Frankie, too, but said he's open to whatever Gareth feels is right for the drums." Anthony pressed play on his phone and the room was filled with strumming and a surprisingly raspy voice singing what was clearly a chorus.
Eddie could pretend he hated it, and maybe the guys would agree with him and they'd never have to speak of this again.
He couldn't hide his reaction fast enough, though.
His jaw dropped as he listened to the lyrics, surprised to find that they weren't just about going to a club and dancing or being in love.
Steve's voice broke at the end before there was shuffling and the recording stopped.
Eddie felt everyone's eyes on him. He closed his mouth and looked down at the floor, tapping his fingers against his arm.
"It's not bad," he finally said. "Not sure why he needs us, though."
"Apparently, his brother is a huge fan of you and suggested he try to work with you."
"I think we should do it." Jeff said, a note of finality in his tone that Eddie knew he wouldn't try arguing with.
"Yeah, can't hurt." Frankie shrugged.
"If he's giving me creative freedom on the drums, how can I say no?" Gareth smirked.
"Guess we're working with the pop diva, then."
****
Steve Harrington was nothing like what they expected.
He showed up to their studio in sweats and glasses, holding a tablet and a bottle of Tylenol. They started to introduce themselves as he found a spot on the couch.
"I'm really glad you guys were willing to work with me," he said after he shook everyone's hand.
Eddie stared.
"My uh, my brother, Dustin, he's kinda why I wrote this song and I know it means a lot that you agreed to be on it," Steve continued. "So, thanks. Hopefully it doesn't ruin your vibes or anything."
Eddie felt every wall he built crumbling with every word Steve spoke. God dammit, this man just had to be sincere and hot and talented, didn't he?
"Nah, we're gonna sound great together." Eddie smiled at Steve's wide-eyed look. "You wanna show us the whole song?"
Steve nodded, pulling something up on his phone. Another recording, this one more professional and included an electric guitar.
"Robin was the stand in for the electric while I did bass."
"So you can play bass?" Frankie asked, leaning in.
"Yeah, but my preferred instrument is piano. I just don't do a lot of slow songs. Guitar is what gets the women interested, or so they tell me," Steve smiled awkwardly. "But feel free to change some things up. I'm totally open to suggestions."
But really, it was damn near perfect as it was. Frankie made one tweak during the bridge, but Steve ended up loving it more than the original and told him so with a grin.
"You're a fuckin' genius!" He exclaimed.
Gareth started messing around on the drums while Steve and Eddie worked on the first couple of lines.
"Something still doesn't feel right," Steve mentioned.
"Maybe we change the rhyming pattern?" Eddie suggested. "You've got ABAB. Might work better to do AABB. Some of these words can be moved around to make that work."
Steve stared at the notes app for a moment, then looked back up at Eddie, beaming smile making his eyes squint.
"I could kiss you!" He shouted. As soon as he realized what he said, he blushed, looking back down at the phone. "I mean, thanks. That's a great suggestion."
Eddie searched Steve's face, coming to the conclusion that there was probably a good reason why Steve didn't care about what women liked when it came to his music.
"I have a pretty strict rule about kissing people I work with," Eddie said slowly, quietly so they wouldn't be overheard.
"Yeah, no, that makes sense. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or-"
"But we won't be working with each other for long, right?" Eddie continued, letting his hand rest on Steve's thigh. God, he was muscular.
"Um. No I guess not."
"Rain check, then. Until we've finished our professional relationship." Eddie couldn't believe he was suggesting this. Showing interest in a pop star. What's next? Dating one? Marrying one?
"Are you saying you wanna kiss me, Munson?" Steve suddenly sounded more confident.
"I'm saying we've got work to do before I can get my hands on you." Eddie tapped his thigh before pulling away. "So let's get to it."
"Dude! I got it!" Gareth yelled, interrupting their moment.
"Be right there!" Steve yelled back, not looking away from Eddie. "Might break a record for fastest recording time ever just so I can kiss you," Steve added quietly to Eddie before standing and walking over to Gareth.
"Well, fuck." Eddie sighed, smiling to himself.
#corroded coffin#corrodedcoffinfest#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#jeff stranger things#gareth stranger things#unnamed freak stranger things#stranger things#rock star eddie munson#pop star steve harrington
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Chapter 68 of human Bill Cipher not looking much like the Mystery Shack's prisoner because he's just vibing on the porch: Mabel's riding high on the success of making Bill two whole friends, Ford's dealing with curses... and let's see how that camera got cursed in the first place.
####
Mabel asked, "What about Aaron Laarson?"
"I don't know," Candy said, "Aaron is cute, but he isn't a very good dancer. That's very important to me in a teen pop idol."
"He's a really good actor, though," Grenda said. "You should see him in Hot Models 2: Runway Boogaloo!" Candy looked thoughtful.
They'd spent the last thirty minutes chattering, with Grenda and Candy sitting on Bill, who was now laying his upper body on the couch cushion he'd been assaulted with earlier but otherwise hadn't moved. To all appearances, Bill was sound asleep—he even breathed like he was asleep—but every once in a while, he'd pipe up with something like, "Don't get too attached to Aaron Laarson. He's dying in a kayaking accident next summer."
Grenda groaned in disappointment. Candy said, "He should have spent that time practicing dancing instead of kayaking."
Mabel caught movement in the corner of her eye, and started when she saw Ford and Dipper. "Uh oh. I didn't expect them to come in on this side of the house."
Across the clearing, Ford shouted, "Mabel, what the devil is he doing outside with—!"
Mabel shouted, "It's okaaay, I got permission from Grunkle Staaan, I love yooou!"
Ford hesitated. "Well... if Stan okayed it."
Dipper looked at Mabel and her camera. Mabel looked at Dipper and his camera. They immediately started making the stupidest faces they could at each other's cameras. "Hey," Mabel said, "did you find the nightwigglies? It looks like they found yooou!"
Dipper self-consciously tugged up the vest he was using like a makeshift skirt. "We did! It was so great, we recorded some kind of ritual dance, how they make babies—" At Grenda's outburst of "Ewww!" he quickly clarified, "Not—not in a gross way—and we saw some kind of Nightwiggler god! It was amazing!"
"Wow! That's great!" Mabel said. "We summoned a demon and almost died."
"What?"
"By the way!" Mabel waved her camera at Ford. "Grunkle Ford, I kiiinda used your cursed camera by accident. Could you please uncurse the tape so I can keep the episode I filmed tonight? Goldie said the magic thingy he stuck on it will only keep it tame as long as the tape's in the camera."
"That's because it's technically the tape itself that's cursed, not the camera." Ford wondered if Bill had led Mabel to the camera.
"Can you uncurse it, though?"
"I think so. I'll see what I can do." Ford took the camera from Mabel. He decided not to comment on the girls' interesting makeup choices.
Bill opened one eye a sliver as he felt Ford and Dipper step on the porch, saw Ford's bare calf over his boot, and cracked up. "What happened to your pants! Did you try to join the Hokey Pokey?"
Ford gave Bill a withering look—caught sight of Bill's mismatched tween-girl-pencil-case/airbrushed-hot-rod eyeshadow, and laughed in surprise. "What happened to your face?"
"Aren't I beautiful?" Bill asked, lacing his hands under his chin (and making Ford snort again when he spied the multiple nail extensions on one hand). "Go on! Tell me I'm beautiful. I know I am."
"You're..." Ford was keenly aware that Mabel and her friends were probably behind this makeover, "...certainly colorful."
"Stanford, you flatterer!" Bill cackled.
Dipper headed inside, yawning. "I'm gonna... go to sleep or something."
That was a good idea; but Ford was hesitant to go in. He was loath to trust Bill unsupervised alone with a couple of vulnerable children, with no one to keep him in check but another child he'd already manipulated into helping him escape once.
But who was Ford to judge. Bill had manipulated him into helping him escape, too. He supposed Mabel could handle him as well as anyone else.
Grenda said, "I think we should watch Hot Models 2 anyway! It's got lots of cute boys! And girls, I guess." She turned to Bill. "Hey, do you like girls or boys?"
"Sometimes," Bill said. "Sure, I'm up for it. It's a pretty good satire of Big Fashion and I like the runway fight scene with the big light show."
To Ford, all Bill seemed to be doing was talking about movies, wearing stupid makeup, and being a chair for a couple of kids. It was so... normal.
It was something a person would do.
Ford made himself go inside. Maybe he'd start work on uncursing that tape for Mabel before he went to bed.
####
Bill had written a magic-negation seal on the back of a crumpled Mystery Shack receipt and attached it to the camcorder with an X of clear tape. Ford had only used that seal twice in his life. Once, thirty years ago, when Bill had taught it to him. And once last fall, when Ford had attempted to draw it in the Book of Bill to prevent its anomalous effects. Bill's book had absorbed the seal into its page until it disappeared—then burped. At least the symbol still seemed to work on the camcorder.
Ford tried to rewind the tape to the beginning; something inside the camcorder caught and made a nasty sound. He grimaced and hit the stop button. That wasn't good. He carefully peeled off the magic-negation seal, popped the cassette tape out of the camera, and examined it.
He pushed up the cassette's guard panel, but where there should have been a strip of magnetic tape running beneath it, there was nothing. The tape must have snapped. As he tried to inspect the damage, the cassette jumped and rattled in his hand, trying to snap the guard panel shut on his finger like it wanted to bite him.
"Stop that," Ford chided. "I'm trying to repair you." Would it listen? In his experience, objects animated by this particular curse tended to be consistently hostile. He might need to re-seal it.
To his surprise, the tape settled down sedately on his desk. That was more like it.
"Can you unreel the damaged ends of your tape?" If it could, that would save him the effort of disassembling the thing entirely.
After a short pause, the cassette flipped up its guard panel and extended two ends of broken tape.
"Thank you."
It looked like something had... burned? melted the tape? But what? The video cassette's casing was completely undamaged, how had something managed only to burn the tape inside?
Ford snipped off the damaged ends of the tape, used a little strip of masking tape to connect them back together, and carefully rewound the tape a few seconds with a pen. This was only a temporary repair; he'd have to transfer the contents of this cassette to an undamaged one. Mabel would probably want it digitized so she could make her video, too. But watching a few seconds wouldn't destroy it; and he wanted to know whether the camera had recorded whatever damaged the tape.
He carefully removed the smallest of Project Mentem's undamaged monitors, moved it to his worktable, plugged in a VHS-C player, and slid the cassette in.
As he started to play back the recording—the first thing on the screen was one of Mabel's terrified-looking friends—the monitor trembled and jumped, banging heavily as it landed back on Ford's worktable.
"Oh, behave." Ford peeled the magic-negating seal off the camcorder and slapped it on the TV. It immediately stilled. Some gratitude for repairing that tape.
When Ford turned his attention back to the screen, Mabel's friend's face had been replaced by Bill's, his curls filling the edges of the screen.
"Gold-O! You came back!" "Hey, Grend-O. Sorry for the wait..."
As Ford watched, Bill grappled with the camera, eventually managed to get a grip on it, and stared it down with nearly enough fury to make Ford forget the goofy eyeshadow. "Now let's get this straight. Everything beneath this shack's roof is my domain and under my protection! If you want to hurt anyone here—you'll have to get through m—"
The scene cut straight to Mabel's face as it skipped over the damaged section he'd had to cut out. "Welcome back to Mabel's Guide to Secret Sleepovers! Weee're—"
Ford stopped the tape. Huh.
Huh.
####
As soon as Candy and Grenda were gone, Mabel flung her arms around Bill. "Thank you for being nice to my friends," she said. "Especially Grenda. I'm so glad you liked them both after all!"
Liked them? He'd been a charming host to them, but. "Did I?"
"Yes," Mabel informed him firmly. "You did."
Well, he figured he must've, then. And Grenda had grown on him. She'd complimented his eyes, she admired gross things, she had very intelligent opinions on amphibians in general and axolotls in particular... "Hey, any friend of my friend is a friend of mine!"
"That's so much better than what I was trying to say." Mabel let go of him, beaming. "Wanna hang out with them again sometime?"
"Sure!" Bill said, shrugging. "We still have to watch some dumb action comedy movies."
"Great! I'll let them know the next sleepover's over here!" She ran upstairs.
Calling her friends to arrange the next sleepover before they'd even gotten home. Yeah—that was generally how Bill planned his parties, too.
Looked like his social circle for the foreseeable future consisted of three little girls. Wasn't ideal, but he could work with that. He'd always liked getting invited to girls' nights. And maybe at future sleepovers he could talk the kids into some real fun. When they weren't trying to keep quiet, he knew, they fed off each other's chaos. And he was sure there was a budding pyromaniac lurking in Candy's heart.
####
Ford nodded as he passed Stan in the entryway. "Just getting up?"
"Yep. Just going to bed?"
Ford shrugged ruefully. "Afraid so. We got some terrific footage last night, though."
"Oh, yeah? Anything sellable?"
"That's up to Dipper, but I think there's good potential. Bare minimum, I'd bet some cryptozoology documentaries would be interested in his findings."
"Hey, all right! Not bad for a night's work." Stan passed by, headed for the bathroom.
And Ford almost headed on to the guest bedroom—but, reluctantly made himself turn toward the kitchen.
Bill was sitting at the table, sipping at a can of cider with an empty one already on the table in front of him, staring out the window at the morning. He didn't usually drink that heavily this early; it probably meant he was heading to bed soon. The girls must have kept him up all night. Dipper had regaled Ford with tales of what Mabel's sleepovers were like.
"Bill."
"Hm?"
He should have gotten straight to business. Instead, he said, "I watched some of Mabel's video from last night."
Bill glanced over at him. (He still had that ridiculous makeup.) "Oh, yeah?"
Under my protection. Did he consider himself the household's guardian—or its owner? "I..." Ford cleared his throat. "I wondered about—the symbol you painted on your hand to disable the camera. That part of the tape melted, and—I assume it was light-activated, which means it must be different from the seal I already know, so...?"
Bill's face had immediately closed off. He turned away. "You're not my student."
Ford was surprised at how much that felt like a slap to the face. He should have been glad—he'd finally managed to get Bill to agree with what he'd been telling him all summer—but he hadn't expected Bill to ever give up. (He hadn't expected Bill to ever change.)
But he probably hadn't really given up. No doubt he was giving Ford the cold shoulder to see if he begged Bill's forgiveness.
"No. I suppose I'm not." He trudged into the kitchen, rummaged in his coat pocket, and dropped a leather pouch on the table. "Anyway, I'm just here to drop this off."
Bill reached for it, stopped himself, and warily asked, "What is it?"
"The rest of my nutrition pills from my interdimensional travels." When he'd lost his trench coat to the lake during the eclipse last week, he'd had to dig out the old tattered one he'd worn during his travels, and he'd happened to find his pills at the same time. It had occurred to him to bring them up while he was working on Mabel's tape. They were tricky to synthesize, but they lasted forever and the ingredients could be found in almost any dimension—whether there was anything otherwise edible for humans or not.
Bill eyed him suspiciously; but he opened the pouch's snap and peeked into the resealable plastic bag. They didn't look like "pills" so much as small balls of incredibly dense dark brown bread, each about the size of a wad of bubblegum. "Whyyy?"
"To make up the difference in your diet until we figure out the food problem," Ford said. "They're formulated so that four a day meets a human's... well, meets my nutritional needs. I haven't looked into your..." vague gesture, "body... type."
"Is this your emergency stash?"
"It... was." Stan had persuaded Ford to get back onto normal food (as much of a waste of time as it was), but he still had this stash left.
"Why are you giving me your emergency stash."
"Because... I'm not having an emergency and you are?" It was better than a couple of avocados and some hot sauce. Honestly, he should have thought to go looking for his nutrition pills weeks ago. If he'd realized just how severe they'd made Bill's situation... or how stubborn Bill would be about asking for help... or that they'd ever plan to keep Bill around long enough that his nutrition would be an issue.
Bill squinted at him, and for a moment Ford thought he was about to start a fight for some insane reason; but then the air seemed to leak out of him, his shoulders sagged, and he just looked at the nutrition pills. "For starters, they'll need more than twice as much iron."
"That much?"
"And more vitamin D, I don't remember the numbers right now." He shut the pouch, sat back, and lifted his cider can again. "All right."
All right? Ford supposed that was all he was getting. He turned to go.
As he did, Bill said, "Bed?"
Ford glanced back. "Yes?"
"Fine," Bill said. "Have nightmares."
He couldn't help letting out a laugh. "Fine. You too."
"It's too late for you to start trying to sweet-talk me like that, Stanford Pines!" But he tilted his can toward Ford—cheers—chugged down the rest, and cracked open a third.
####
Dipper was already in bed when Mabel charged in. He rolled over slightly, saw she was still in her sleepover pajamas, and mumbled, "Going to sleep too?"
She rummaged around in the closet by the door. "I can't waste that kind of time!" She retrieved a shoe box full of the wooden models of the townspeople she'd crudely whittled last summer at a library arts & crafts program run by Wendy's dad. She dumped them out on the floor, and, for lack of a figure representing Bill, tore a corner off a stray sheet of notebook paper and drew his eye on it. "I've got to capitalize on last night's success!"
She snatched her pyramid prism off the windowsill and taped the paper eye on it. "Hey, you." She poked Bartholomew's cradle. "Why were you a big chicken in front of my friends?"
"What, with you waving that camera around?" Bartholomew said. "I didn't want it to know I have a soul to steal."
"You knew?! You jerk!" She gave the cradle a harder poke, rocking it slightly.
Dipper yawned. "Capitalize on what success? The demon summoning?"
"No! Helping Bill make two new friends!" Mabel sat on the floor, plopped the Bill prism down amidst the other wooden figures, and started setting them upright. Waddles waddled over to sniff at them.
"Oh." Dipper groaned and rolled back over.
"The next stage of his rehabilitation is expanding his social circle. Get him some normal friends that don't want to eat people or destroy moons or whatever!" She grabbed up the notebook paper again, tore it into sections, and wrote on each with the nearest gel pen: "Friends!!!" "Maybe" "NO" "Healthy ☆ Rivals" "♡ Potential dates? ♡" She added thoughtfully, "And maybe get him a love life. We had to chase off his last girlfriend."
Dipper groaned louder. "I don't wanna think about Bill dating. That dumb eye-bat was bad enough."
"She's not dumb, she's into avant-garde experimental films. And she watches them with subtitles. Bill said so." She placed her, Grenda's, and Candy's figures in the Friends section, tentatively placed Dipper halfway between Maybe and No after checking to make sure he wasn't watching, and then started scanning her collection for more likely friends. "Who in town do you think would date Bill Cipher?"
"Nobody. Everyone hates him."
She stuck Wendy and her gang in the "Friends!!!" section, she thought they were a safe bet. "Who do you think would date Bill if they don't know he's Bill?"
"Nobody." Dipper pulled his blanket over his head.
"Pbbt, don't be so negative! You've gotta believe in him." Blubs and Durland? They were probably his friends, right? She sorted them accordingly and added Lazy Susan to the "Maybe" section. "Just you watch. I'll have Bill reintegrated into society before the end of the summer!"
Mabel had picked out several more prospective friends for Bill before Dipper sighed, rolled over again, and said, "Why do you have to make friends for Bill?"
"Bro. Come on. When he's left to his own devices, he keeps talking about pulling people's veins out of their bodies or telling them secret information about their own childhoods. He's probably talking about something creepy right now."
####
"I'm telling you," Bill said, gesticulating emphatically with a cider can. "It works. Your cousins will never argue with you again, and you guarantee they'll be with you forever! It's the perfect way to permanently resolve family disputes!"
"I can see your logic," Stan said, grimacing. "However. I'm not eating my cousins."
"Not all your cousins," Bill insisted. "Just one, to send a message. You don't even need to eat the whole guy! Just half a limb or so. If you want to look like the bigger man, you can even let him choose which one."
Looking faintly nauseous, Stan shoved over his unfinished eggs and pancakes and stood. "What the heck was your home life like?"
"Oh, it was terrific. I was the family golden child." Bill dug into Stan's eggs. "I was everything your family hoped you'd be and was disappointed you weren't!"
"Was that before or after you started eating your cousins?"
"I didn't say I did it. That's your species' thing." Bill said, with a lofty tone that suggested moral superiority, "We'reinedible."
"Ha!" Stan shook his head. "You talk a big game for a guy who's never eaten one family member!"
Bill snapped the tab off his cider can and flipped it at Stan's head.
####
"He's delightful, but he's an acquired taste," Mabel said. "He just needs somebody else to help mediate when he meets new people! Like letting two cats sniff each other under the door!"
"Okay, but why you?"
She thought about that, staring at the pyramid representing Bill; then she shrugged. "Somebody has to."
"They really don't."
"Somebody should," Mabel insisted. "I just really want to see him make friends with everybody here. It's like... making it up to the town for hurting them last year."
"I think leaving them alone would work better. After what he did, he doesn't deserve to be friends with anyone in town—"
"It's important to me, okay?" Mabel snapped. "It just is."
What was that for? Did she think he was criticizing her for befriending him? He mumbled, "I didn't mean you."
She was quiet a moment. "I know."
"Sorry." Dipper was too tired for this conversation; he was just sticking his foot in his mouth. He yawned, muttered, "Good luck scheduling him a playdate, I guess," and rolled over.
####
After sleep and lunch, Ford returned to his study, set up a second blank video cassette to copy the damaged one's data, carefully rewound the damaged one all the way to the beginning, and watched it for the first time in over thirty years.
The recording was grainy and distorted now. It looked so old. This technology had been brand new when Ford had bought his video camera—so new that he'd had to order it from overseas, it hadn't been available in the United States yet. How quickly things changed.
The camera turned to take in Ford's own, younger, beaming face. "This is Dr. Stanford Pines, with the first of what will hopefully be many video recordings of the oddities in Gravity Falls." (In the present, Ford snorted.) "The subject of this first video is a series of magic symbols that, when combined, can animate inanimate objects. Any inanimate object."
He turned the camera around. Like a vampire's morbid pulpit, one of Ford's journals was laid open atop the lid of a black casket. Two heavy chains were laid across each side of the book and locked around the casket's handles to keep them tightly secured. A couple dozen pages in the middle of the book had been left free of the chains, but were pinned down by a cinderblock.
All the security measures were clearly needed; the book was thrashing in its restraints strongly enough to make the casket lid rattle. The visible text writhed across the journal's pages, words and symbols appearing and disappearing in the margins. The susurrations of the pages rubbing against each other sounded like the hissing of a trapped animal.
Ford tipped the cinderblock off the journal and pinned the pages down with his shoe instead. "Several days ago, a local director taught me the spell he used to animate clay figures for his movies. I'd thought perhaps he was creating golems, but aside from the superficial similarity of writing symbols to animate figures of mud, there doesn't seem to be any similarity between his ritual and any golem folklore I've ever heard. Furthermore, his creations are intelligent, capable of speech, and seem to remain loyal to their creator simply out of a passion for acting and respect for his directorial talents rather than any sort of magically-compelled loyalty." A wry note entered his voice. "And I can confirm that the spell itself certainly doesn't impart any loyalty."
The page below his foot erased itself and replaced the text with large, angry text: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO EARN MY LOYALTY?! YOU DOG EAR MY PAGES! YOU USE ME AS A CHOPPING BOARD!"
"Wh—! Who do you think you are, a Sefer Torah?! Don't be so precious! You're made of faux leather and craft paper, I'll dog ear you all I want!" Ford snapped. "And I already apologized for the chopping board thing!"
The journal stopped moving. "My cover isn't real leather?"
"On my budget?! The closest you've ever come to real cow hide is visiting the Sprott farm!"
While the journal was stunned silent, Ford scooted his foot aside so the camcorder could see a symbol on the opposite page—one of the few bits of ink that didn't seem to shift around the journal's pages. "This is the symbol the director taught me. But it's only supposed to work if you perform an accompanying ritual to activate and power it, which I haven't." He reached down with a gloved hand to flip the loose pages over, then pinned them again under his shoe to let him record another symbol. "This symbol is supposed to power magical artifacts. I suspect writing both these sigils together in the same book has caused them to interact in unexpected ways. But, by themselves, these two are insufficient to bring a book to life—I experimented by copying them both into Journal 1—so perhaps some of the other symbols or spells written in Journal 2 are contributing to—"
"WHAT?!" Journal 2 angrily scrawled around the perimeter of the second symbol. "You tried to bring that teacher's pet to life?! What's wrong with ME!"
"You mean, besides your completely uncooperative attitude, reckless abuse of magic, and murder attempts?" Ford ignored the journal's angry "shouting" as he went on, "But until I figure out what the other symbols are, my... anonymous informant on the occult—"
"You don't mean Creature #326? Tell me it's not Creature #326!"
"—has taught me a sigil that should be able to reverse the effects of the animation spell—"
A series of magical sigils flashed across the journal's page and were quickly replaced by "HA-HA-HA!" The camera shuddered.
"What was that?!" Ford set the camera on the casket where it could watch as he tried to pin down Journal 2's fluttering pages and write on it. "We'll see who's laughing in a minute, you— Stop erasing what I write!" Ford tugged out a sticky note that had been serving as bookmark, hastily scribbled on it, and slapped it into the journal. "Ha!"
The book immediately fell still.
Ford grabbed up a tape dispenser from the floor, pulled off a short strip, and attached the sticky note more securely to the page. "Well. That was effective." He flipped through the journal. "Furthermore, it looks like all the changes Journal 2 made to itself have been reverted. Good. It defaced a lot of data I'd hate to have to reproduce..." As he spoke, the camera slowly rose into the air.
He turned to pick it up, flinched, and quickly got to his feet. "Oh! Uh. Hello."
"Hello," the camera echoed in Ford's voice.
"How did you...?" Ford smacked his forehead, eyes wide with amazement! "Of course! My recording! The symbols my journal wrote! This is fascinating. Recording the symbols on magnetic tape must be just as effective as writing them on paper, even if the symbols aren't visible without specialized equipment. I'll have to experiment with other methods of... of..." Ford petered off as the camera slowly floated higher. He held out a hand hopefully. "Please come back?"
"No," the camera said. "Please give me your soul."
"No." Ford took a deep breath, set Journal 2 on the casket, and flexed his fingers. "Okay. Let's do this again."
As the Ford of thirty-odd years ago wrestled with the camera on the TV screen, the much older Ford sighed. That had been fun. Exploring the bizarre and aberrant had still been fun, back then. That thought disconcerted him; was it no longer fun now? He supposed it still was to an extent. He was just worse at having fun. Harder to dazzle.
He wondered why Journal 2 had been so wary of Creature #326. Bill. It had been right, he was Ford's "anonymous informant"—Ford had told him about his hostile new living journal in a dream, and after Bill had finished laughing, he'd taught Ford how to counteract the spell activating it.
But how did it know?
Could it have warned him about Bill?
Ford would never find out now.
The TV went dark as, in the recording, Ford trapped the camera inside a box. Slightly muffled, Ford said, "Try getting out of that!" Under his breath, he muttered, "I think I prefer writing over narrating anyway."
The screen remained dark for another ten seconds as the camera bumped around and muttered to itself. And then it abruptly cut to a shot of Dipper's bed. Off-screen, Mabel's voice said, "Awesome, still works!" She set the camera on the table under the kids' window—
That was what Ford was looking for. He rewound several seconds and began transferring the recording of Mabel's sleepover onto a fresh tape he'd prepared earlier.
After that, maybe he'd go back to the start again so he could see the other symbols Journal 2 had flashed at the camera and copy them into Journal 5—onto a page already prepared with the magic-negating seal.
####
In the Nightmare Realm, a red book with a golden handprint on the cover boldly labeled "2" floated alone in the void, as it had since it had been tossed in the bottomless pit a year ago.
Its tattered pages were splayed open as it drifted weightlessly through the aether.
On one page near the center of the book, a sticky note with a seal drawn on it was attached to the page with a strip of tape, and surrounded by a warning never to erase the symbol on the sticky note.
The tape had lost its stick after decades buried outdoors; it stuck to the sticky note, but not to the book. The sticky note was barely holding on by a corner.
And as the book slowly wheeled through the void, the last corner peeled off, and the sticky note fluttered away.
Journal 2's pages rustled.
####
(I think y'all who have been keeping up with my posts about this fic know exactly what's coming next. 😎
Thaaat's right. 😎😎
An unrelated flashback chapter!!!
Anyway hope y'all enjoyed, let me know what you think!)
#mabel pines#dipper pines#(for the art)#bill cipher#human bill cipher#(for the fic)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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Amortentia (Jegulus)
Regulus didn’t smell. It drove James insane sometimes.
He didn’t smell after quidditch practice, or even after just waking up. It was another one of those things about him that made him seem “perfect”. James hated it.
Regulus was so much more than the image he presented himself to be, but he’d gotten too lost in playing the part, maybe that’s all he’d become.
Every single “imperfection” had been driven away by his mother. Not just for Regulus, but for Sirius as well. The Black family had an image to maintain, high society they had to live in. They couldn’t accept body odor, crooked teeth, or any blemishes on their skin.
James didn’t know how they did it. But none of the Blacks had any negative body odor. No matter how much they sweat.
It’s not to say they don’t have a particular smell. According to Slughorn, everyone had a distinct smell, something unique about them.
Sirius smelled like wet dog fur, James knew this because he slept in the bed next to him and every night Sirius turned to padfoot in his sleep.
Narcissa smelled like spring, like her namesake— narcissus. Strangely intense, yet cool and floral. James had only placed the smell last year when they had grown the flower in herbology.
Walburga black smelled like roses, James imagined that’s what the queen of hearts from Alice in Wonderland smelled like. It was suffocating if you had the displeasure to be near her, like a thousand thorny plants squeezing your windpipe.
James wasn’t padfoot, he didn’t memorize smells. But it’s hard not to notice how his closest friends smell. It made him feel warm, to be surrounded by so many people he loves, all with a distinct smell.
Remus smelled like chocolate, like wet fur, wooly sweaters, a warm fire and old books. James could tell that’s what Sirius was smelling in his cauldron right then. That’s the reason he was thinking so much about smells in the first place.
Sixth year brought with it responsibilities, but also more advanced potion making. James always wondered why he didn’t drop potions when he had the chance.
Sirius was blushing so hard, his skin tone matched the pink potion. James had to stifle his own laughter as Remus tried to go over the recipe once again to make sure they had made it correct. They were all paired up for this particular class. Sirius and Remus at one cauldron and James and Peter next to them. It used to be Sirius and James together, but after one too many pranks in the classroom, Professor Slughorn had separated them.
“Clockwise!” Remus corrected Sirius just before he could have ruined their potion. They were the second ones to finish their potion so Slughorn was already making his way towards the boys. “Bloody hell, Sirius. Stop overmixing it”
James exchanged a look with Peter. Why had he let Sirius pick Remus while pairing up again? Oh that’s right— Wingman duties
James was nowhere near as great as Lily or Remus or even Snivellus in potion making, but he managed. Mostly he used Remus’ notes and applied common sense. It drove Remus insane sometimes, how much work he’d have to put in to memorize something, only for James to make an educated guess about it. James couldn’t really explain how he knew stuff, he just did. Call it pattern awareness, or whatever.
“So from the way Moony was yelling at Padfoot, I’m guessing we have to stir it clockwise?” James raised an eyebrow.
Peter only snickered as he watched their other two friends bickering like an old married couple. “What’d you think Moony smells, James?”
“Wet dog” James replied easily, “And that awful old leather jacket Padfoot refuses to throw away,”
“I bet Sirius smells chocolate and wool”
James had known Peter for years, they'd had baths together when they were babies, learned how to ride a bicycle from James’ father, spent ten christmases trying to make gingerbread houses and so many more memories.
That’s all to say, James knew what Peter smelled like. He had a distinct cologne he swore worked wonders on the ladies, and as stereotypical as it was for the rat to love cheese, he really did.
So if James was in love with his best mate, that’s what he would have smelled.
But instead when he dared to take a whiff of the potion (after coughing violently because it was pretty strong), all he smelled was broom wax, old books and paint.
“Mmmhmm” Peter grinned, “Camembert, and candy. Smells so great I’m hungry now. And you?”
“Old books” He frowned, “And paint”
“Careful, Pads might think you’re in love with Moony too”
James wasn’t sure what he was expecting. He was glad he didn’t smell lilies, relating to his old embarrassing crush. It had been months since he had obsessed over Lily Evans and even thinking about that time made him cringe.
James had quickly realized he had no idea what love was supposed to be. He grew up watching his parents so immensely in love he’d been in love with the idea of love and the idea of Lily Evans. And ideas are dangerous things to be in love with.
For his sake and Lily’s, he was glad he stopped liking her.
But after Lily… well, there had been someone James had grown a liking too. And he couldn’t help the disappointment when he didn’t smell Regulus in the potion. He took a few more whiffs, just to be sure. But to no avail. The potion still smelled the same.
James wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much. Maybe he was just incapable of loving. Because he couldn’t smell Regulus, that had to mean he wasn’t in love with the boy as he had previously thought. This was clearly a Lily situation again. And that bothered James. Mainly because he wanted to be in love. Not just because of his fantasy of being so in love with someone, but also because Regulus was so lovely.
He was witty and sharp, beautiful and sarcastic, knowledgeable and petty, headstrong and stubborn but also sweet and funny. He seemed to positively glow under James’ praise. James loved it when he flushed pink, James loved it when he shot back a retort, when he smiled a secret smile for only James, when he dragged his long fingers over James’ skin— touch for the sake of touch. James loved every single thing about Regulus, the way his eyes crinkled when he tried to stop himself from laughing at one of James’ bad jokes, the way he sneezed, the way his lips parted, the way he tasted so sweet when they kissed, but most of all, James thought he was in love with Regulus.
He wasn’t sure what smell he was searching for. He knew Regulus didn’t smell. He didn’t have a signature smell like Peter’s cologne. But James was still disappointed.
He wanted to make Regulus feel loved, he wanted to be in love. He had said it once and Regulus had said it before.
Three simple words.
And what if they were a lie?
A knock on the door made Slughorn change directions. He had been heading toward James and Peter’s potion to check it, but he walked toward the open door.
James would have recognised those curls anywhere.
Even before Regulus was fully visible, stepping into the doorway, eyes searching the class, James was grinning. Who cared what the stupid potion said? The potion could be wrong. Maybe James and Peter brewed it wrong.
All that mattered was that Regulus lit up James’ world, it genuinely felt that way. Just passing him in the hallways, getting to stare at him as he stared at the stars, just listening to him talk about astronomy or his favorite paintings felt like a reward to James.
So yeah, fuck the potion.
James Potter was in love with Regulus Black.
That’s when he spotted the paint splattered on the edges of his otherwise neat robe. He was handing a book he must have borrowed back to Slughorn. His eyes landed on James and though he tried to keep his composure in thanking the professor, James grew ecstatic at the acknowledgement.
The effect Regulus had on him really had to be studied.
Just before he left, he sniffed the room, his eyebrows furrowing in that Regulus Black way as he mock glared at James. He had the face of an aristocrat but the mind of an artist. Maybe he was both.
James was thankful his table was the closest to the door and the others were too busy either bickering, fawning over their potion or still completing it.
“You smell, Potter” Regulus scrunched his nose in disgust, turning to walk away, “Didn’t you shower after quidditch? It’s disgusting, it’s a wonder the whole room isn’t gagging with how strong it is, even your sandalwood perfume can’t mask it.”
James could barely say anything before Regulus had walked away.
Paint splatter, the old books in the room of requirement and Regulus’ personal collection, the broom wax from when James had watched him polish his broom before a match against Hufflepuff.
Slowly the pieces floated together and James thought he had started floating too. He felt light, like a floating lantern, a ball of warmth in his chest.
And what had Regulus been talking about? James twisted his ankle his last game. Madam Pomfrey hadn’t cleared him to fly the whole week, he had been moping about not being able to play.
When he looked at Peter, his friend was looking back with an amused look.
“Fucking hell, Prongs”
“Don’t tell Padfoot”
#jegulus oneshot#jegulus#dead gay wizards from the 70s#starchaser#amortentia#james and regulus#regulus black#james potter#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black
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Jealous Nott
Summary: Y/n is being hit on by Fred and George and it gets Theodore pissed, ~and jealous.
He was sure why he was fuming. You were on the other side of the room getting hit on by the comedic duo, usually he liked them. They were funny as hell but right now as they made you laugh he wanted to shove their jokes up their asses.
"Teds, ya steaming at the ear mate," Matteo remarked, he had never seen Theodore so worked up over someone. He followed his line of sight and burst out laughing, making Theodore send him a glare. "Bloody hell, over y/n"
"They're hitting on her, is she gonna fuck the both of them," His eyes were were boring holed at the twins. His jaw clenched when he noticed how close they'd gotten to her.
"She's a free bird y'know unless you go get her cause Fred's pulling his signature pick up, with the ring-" Theo was already out of his seat. In quick strides he crossed the room, he snaked his hand around her.
Due to the height difference he bent down and put his neck into the crook of her neck.
"Hey boys, why don't you go blow up a bath yeah?" Fred and George both raised their hands in mock surrender, they knew a lost battle when they saw one.
"Got it," George started
"We reckon we can get a couple out," Fred finished as he winked at y/n. "If you ever get tired of this Joker y'know where to find us," before they both left leaving y/n with Theo.
"What are you doing, I was about to get laid," y/n joked.
"Were you gonna fuck the both of em!?"
"Maybe," she smirked. "I do have two holes,"
Theodore's eye brows rose. "Interesting,"
"Theo I'm wanking, what's up?" He noticed how she leant into him.
"I-" he hadn't thought about what he was gonna do once he drove those Weasley boys out. "Well I-"
"Do not tell me the great snarky sarcastic, Theodore Graham Nott, has gone speechless?" He noticed how her eyes glittered as she smiled. The stars were in her eyes.
"It's not Graham luv," He chided.
"I said it's Graham so it's Graham," She said leaving no room for argument.
"Yes Ma'am," Deep down he knew if she asked him to change his name, he'd do it in a heartbeat.
"You're hot when you're jealous," Theodore nearly missed the sentence.
"One, I'm not jealous. Two." He said bringing her closer. "You think I'm hot?" He mumbles into her neck.
"I've always thought you're hot," she whispered back. He chuckled into her neck sending shivers up her spine. She traced his bicep through his uniform.
"Really," Her lips looked so kissable.
"Yeah"
"I want to kiss you so badly luv,"
"Then do it you wanker,"
Theodore crashed his lips to hers, trying to memorize every curve of her mouth, his hand moved from her waist to her hips then back again. He fought the urge to grab her ass.
After a beat he moved his head back an inch.
"You'll be the fucking death of me," he whispered agsinst her lips dropping the lightest kisses on her face from her cheeks to her forehead.
"I should say the same about you, I could fucking feel your cigarettes," he laughed. He loved the girl and he was going to fucking keep her
#theodore nott#theodore nott x reader#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x y/n#theodore nott fanfiction#Harry Potter
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Bucktommy cuddling in bed, please? Doesn't have to lead to anything, just them being soft.
Since their third date, when Buck told Tommy about his fears after getting struck by lightning and how he spent so long texting Bobby every morning to make sure everything was alright, Buck woke up to a text from Tommy.
Without fail.
Five straight months of 6am texts. Even the days he was working, when he was already awake and had been for a while, he'd still get a text to check in.
That's why Buck's heart nearly sunk directly to the floor when he checked his phone one morning at 6:32am, right after they'd gotten back from a call, to see that Tommy hadn't texted him.
He hesitated briefly, but sent Tommy a heart, followed by a everything okay?
Another thing Tommy had always been great at is answering Buck back quickly. The only time he didn't, or couldn't, was when he was working.
And he wasn't working today.
It didn't take long for Bobby to notice him glaring down at his phone.
“What's wrong, Buck?”
“Oh,” Buck put his phone back in his pocket, waving Bobby off. “It's nothing. No big deal.”
“You sure? Looks like it might be. Everything okay?”
Buck let out a sigh, then explained. “Tommy hasn't missed a morning of texting me for five months. Every single morning, six on the dot.”
“I'm guessing there was no text today?”
Buck shook his head. “No. I texted him, but I haven't heard back. Maybe... Maybe he just overslept? Or forgot, or something.”
“Okay,” Bobby replied with a nod, “well, go get changed and head on out. We've got it covered.”
“But, Cap-”
“Shift ends in thirty minutes anyway. And we both know you won't be able to let it go until you make sure he's alright. Need Eddie to tag along?”
“N- No, I.. I'm sure I'm overreacting.”
“Text me and let me know once you know. And Buck?”
“Yeah, Cap?”
“Try not to panic.”
Not willing to make any promises, Buck turned and headed for his locker.
*****
It took him nearly half an hour to get to Tommy's place, and he didn't think twice about using the key Tommy had given him a couple months back to let himself in. Especially since he still hadn't heard a word from him.
“Tommy?” He spoke cautiously as he entered the house, trying to keep calm against all the negative thoughts running through his mind.
No answer.
The house was dark. It didn't look like Tommy had been up at all. If it weren't for his car out front, Buck wouldn't think he was there.
He moved further into the house, heading down the hall toward Tommy's bedroom.
“Tommy?” His voice was shaky this time, unsteady.
The door squeaked as he pushed it open, but he immediately sighed a breath of relief when the body tangled up under the covers moved.
“Evan?” Tommy questioned, eyes squinting toward him in confusion. “Why're you here?”
“I'm checking on you.” Buck toed off his shoes and walked over to the bed, crawling up beside Tommy. “Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out and resting a hand over his forehead. “You don't feel hot.”
“M'fine,” Tommy answered, wrapping the blankets tighter around his neck. His voice still sounded rough from sleep. “What time is it? You're supposed to be at work.”
“It's a little past seven. I got worried when I didn't get a text from you this morning. Cap let me leave early.”
“Seven?” Tommy looked even more confused by that. He turned and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, shoulders slumping when he confirmed the time. “God, Evan, I'm sorry. I- I didn't know.”
“It's okay,” Buck assured him. “I'm just glad you're not severely injured or dead, like my head decided you were on the way over.”
Tommy smiled softly, holding out his arms for Buck to come lay in.
Happily, Buck pushed the comforter back on his usual side of the bed and laid beside Tommy, resting his head on his chest.
With one of Tommy's hands soothingly rubbing up and down his back, and the other massaging at his scalp, Buck almost allowed himself to be completely at ease.
Almost.
Because he still knew that something was wrong, even if he couldn't quite figure it out yet.
After pressing a kiss to Tommy's pec, Buck asked again, “Are you okay?”
Tommy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he answered. “My mom died thirty years ago today,” he admitted.
Buck stilled, then brought his arm to wrap tighter around Tommy's waist. “Oh, Tommy, I- I had no idea.” He leaned up slightly to be able to look at him. “You didn't tell me before, did you? Because-”
“No, no. I don't ever really talk about it, so I'm sure I've never mentioned it.”
Carefully, Buck rolled off of Tommy, lying flat on the bed. He pulled Tommy along with him, having him rest inside his arms instead. “I decided you're the one needing held today,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Tommy's head.
Tommy laid on him with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Buck's heart thumping in his chest. “I don't usually miss her this much,” he said. “I mean, I always miss her, but anniversaries don't usually make it worse.”
“Grief has a way of sneaking up on you when you don't expect it.”
“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “It's kind of a pain in the ass.”
Buck huffed out a laugh. “Yes, it is.”
“I just... I think about talking to her a lot. Telling her about my life, you know?”
“Mhm.”
“And there's always been updates here and there. She would have hated me being in the army. Would've been worried sick. She would still worry about me as a firefighter, but she would have been proud. But I think,” he paused, snuggling closer to Buck, “I think this is the first time I could've told her all about my personal life, not just the work stuff.”
Buck's hand stilled from where his fingertips had lightly been brushing over Tommy's arm. “Oh yeah?” he asked.
“Yeah. All these years I've just gone over what work accomplishments I could have talked to her about. I didn't even think about that this time.”
Carefully, Buck scooted further down into the bed. He maneuvered them around until they were both on their sides facing one another. He tangled their legs together, and they each slung an arm around the other's waist.
“What would you have said?” Buck asked. “About your life?”
Tommy smiled. “You wanna hear me talk about you?”
“Oh, this life conversation includes me?” Buck replied cheekily. “I guess that's just a plus.”
Tommy stared into Buck's eyes as he thought over his words. “I would've told her that my friend Howie called me one day and asked me for an insane favor. A favor I probably should've thought twice about, but I didn't. And how he showed up with these two other guys who I'd never seen before. Then one of those guys would go on to make me happier than I ever thought possible.”
Even as he teared up, a smile grew on Buck's face. “You mean Eddie, don't you?”
That got a laugh out of Tommy. A big laugh where his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up. “I'd also tell her he always knows how to make me feel better. And he's good to me, and for the first time in my life I feel complete.”
“You do?” Buck asked, eyes going soft.
“I do. I'd tell her that this guy never stops surprising me. How he cares so deeply about everyone around him that I constantly have to remind him that he exists too. How fiercely protective he is. How safe I feel with him.”
Buck fought at blinking his tears away. He cleared his throat. “Do you think your mom would wanna meet me?”
“Oh, I know she'd wanna meet you. She'd be crazy about you.”
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“Good. Because I'd like to tell her more about her son.”
“Evan.”
“I'm serious.” Buck brought his hand to Tommy's face, stroking his cheek. “I'd love to tell her what a great job she did raising you. How gentle you are, how loving and patient you are. How you always listen, and you seem to know how I'm feeling before I do. How I- I'd love to spend the rest of my life beside you, if you'd let me.”
Tommy swallowed hard. “Really?”
Buck nodded.
It wasn't a proposal. They didn't even live together yet. But it was a promise. A promise of a future together without an expiration date.
Tommy cradled himself into Buck's arms again. “I love you so much, Evan.”
Buck held him tight, hoping the depth of love he had for Tommy could be felt through his touch. “I love you too, Tommy.”
#911#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#this went cheesy as all hell but sometimes that's what we need damn it!#prompt
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workhorse || ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader ||
you get overexhausted during a game.
this was going to be your season. you had put in the work during the offseason, and continued to as the season started up. the coaches had noticed how hard you were working, so they had begun to play you in more games. it was great, even if you felt like you had already played through the entire season already.
today's game was a rough one. you had been fouled by the opponent's defense more times than you cared to count. yellows seemed to be flying for both sides, and you managed to earn your own during the 70th minute when you accidentally pulled on a defender's jersey as you slipped.
"are you okay?" you were surprised by the soft hand of the woman you'd nearly pulled to the ground on your side. "hey, i think she needs a medic!"
"medic? why would i need a med-" you dropped onto the grass. players from both sides came to stand around you and block the view of the cameras. mapi practically dove through the crowd to get to you.
if you would have seen the look on mapi's face, your heart would have broken. ingrid moved in to comfort mapi as the medics took you away. it was hard, but they both played the last twenty minutes of the game. neither one of them did the little victory lap, instead going straight to check on you.
"ingrid, slow down. i can't keep up!" mapi called out as she chased after ingrid. the norweigan was the first one through the doors of the room. you smiled at her weakly, hooked up to a couple of different iv bags. they were monitoring you closely, doctors coming in and out to check on your vitals. it was like being in the hospital, but you knew what they'd tell you at the end of it all. you were stressed and overworked, something that you had known for a couple of weeks now.
"i'm so sorry," ingrid apologized as she pulled you into a hug.
"you don't have anything to apologize for," you told her. ingrid sighed as she pressed a kiss to your forehead.
"yes, i do. i didn't pay attention. i didn't see that you needed to take a step back. you look out for us, for me, all the time, but i didn't do the same for you." ingrid was on the brink of tears, and you felt guilty for making her upset. you glanced past her at mapi, who seemed to be having similar thoughts, just quieter. "after this, i want you to take some time off. i'll step back with you if you want."
"both of us will. we'll work on getting back together as a unit. you can't work yourself like this, we're lucky that you didn't get hurt worse," mapi said. you sat there silently, unsure of how to feel. they were right, and it wasn't often at all that mapi ended up being the voice of reason in your relationship.
"i'm sorry," you apologized. ingrid and mapi both shook their heads as they moved towards you. mapi curled into your side, holding you tightly as the two of you sat there. ingrid stayed standing in front of you as she leaned her head against yours. "i am so sorry."
"this isn't something you need to apologize for, mi amor. this is something that we work on together. just let us know what you need, and we'll try our best for you," mapi told you.
"all that we ask is that you stop pushing yourself so hard. everybody has their limits, and you don't always have to know yours," ingrid reminded you. "i know that us just telling you this won't change anything, and that's why we're both going to be here for every step of the way. forwards, backwards, and sideways, the whole way."
"thank you," you muttered as you pulled both of them in close for a hug. you had spent a lot of time by yourself before them, and now you knew for sure that you were never going to be alone in your time of need again.
#woso fanfics#woso x reader#woso imagine#mapi leon imagine#ingrid engen x mapi leon x reader#mapi leon x reader#ingrid engen imagine#ingrid engen x reader
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I kinda want a fic where Eddie is straight. Strong Ally, totally safe, but the guy is straight. There's a few months after they successfully take down Vecna that he and Robin and Steve are all besties, living in each others' pockets. During that time, he makes a lot of jokes that Steve is going to make a great housewife someday, makes some comments that aren't quite jokes that he wishes Steve was a girl, and has some very much suppressed thoughts that the only thing stopping them is that Eddie isn't attracted to men.
Near the end of the summer, before Steve is going to follow Robin to Sarah Lawrence, Steve comes out as bi to the whole group, and Eddie, for the first time, unashamedly thinks, damn, if only I wasn't straight. Steve even gets brave a few days before they leave and broaches the topic of Steve having a crush on Eddie. Keeps saying that he's not going to hit on Eddie, but wanted to take the chance, just in case Eddie had ever thought about it.
"Sorry, Steve, I only date girls."
And the awkwardness isn't the only reason the three drift apart, but it doesn't help. They send letters and post cards between Chicago and New York, and try to call at least once a month, but they're all broke, and long distance is expensive. Two years out, and Eddie knows something weird is happening with Steve and Robin, but they don't want to talk about it. They still talk, they're still friends, they'd still die for each other, but there is something they're hiding from him. Three and a half years out, and the bureaucrats finally got their act together. 'Thanks for not telling anybody' checks get sent to everyone in the know. Very large checks.
Robin graduates, and she and Stevie have a comfortable cushion. They don't have to take horrible minimum wage jobs anymore, and some expensive things they've been saving up to do for a while can finally happen.
This is where the fic in my head actually starts.
Eddie hears all about Los Angeles from Robin, but she tells him that Stevie isn't feeling great after the trip, and that Eddie will get a letter soon.
Its four months later, almost exactly four years since the three last saw each other in person when they finally meet again. Robin got a job in Chicago, and Eddie is still there, now a full artist in a tattoo parlor, playing gigs for fun with random friends. Stevie, of course, follows Robin, and Eddie tries hard not to stay upset with the guy for the weirdness and the sometimes silence, and the very obvious distance that Steve put between them recently.
Then they see each other. Meeting up at what has to be the queerest bar in the city, and it takes Eddie way, way too long to put together what's waiting at a booth along the wall. He's an ally, he's heard all the terms and types and nodded along in supportive silence because he doesn't get it, but he's trying.
But there's Robin, sitting on the outside, with a brunette beside her, possibly the most beautiful woman Eddie has ever seen, strong, tall, long wavy chestnut hair, and a spattering of very distinct moles. The little bit of a smile she has when Eddie first comes over melts into something small and scared as Eddie stares in shock. It's Stevie, it has to be, and Robin's exclusive use of what was once only a nickname suddenly makes more sense. He knows he needs to make sure he's using the right name, pronouns, whatever she wants. He's friend of a friend with a couple trans people, and again, he doesn't get it, but he listened, and he cannot fuck this up, because it's Stevie and this must be what they were hiding, but the inside of his brain sounds like an endless loop of mic feedback for a solid sixty seconds.
Sixty seconds is an insanely long time.
Before his brain turns over and he can smile and reach the table, Stevie has shrunk into the corner, and Robin looks ready to launch herself at Eddie's throat in her soulmate's defense.
A whole list of intrusive thoughts hit Eddie all at once while his mouth runs on autopilot, asking the right questions, smiling encouragingly, introducing himself to, yes, Stevie Harrington, and dragging the mood to a happy place by sheer force of will. Stevie starts to uncurl, smiles a little brighter, sits up straight, laughs properly at Eddie's dumb stories about terrible tattoos, and leans closer as the night goes on.
He fixes the weirdness he started in his shock, because there is no way in hell he's not going to keep two of his best friends now that they live in the same city again.
But his head is stuck spiraling around a snarl of horrible, selfish, invasive thoughts. The worst of which: Stevie is now Stevie because Eddie told her that he only liked girls. And he knows thats stupid and isn't why Stevie made this choice, and he hates himself for thinking it, but the thought is still there. That Eddie wanted so badly that she's now Stevie. Another, only slightly less horrible thought, is that the immediate fairytale ending he imagined on first sight - might be ruined because Eddie is still straight, and he's just not sure about, you know, the details.
Eddie did a great job that first night, and they're back to hanging out all the time as soon as the last boxes are unpacked. It is not Stevie's fault that seeing her in a sports bra for the once confirmed that the payouts, the LA trip, and her new shirt size were related. It's not her fault that Eddie can't stop thinking about how hot she is.
It's absolutely not her fault that Eddie starts getting weird around her. He's trying, okay? He's trying so hard. But its weird for him. He likes her. That part he's certain of. Loves her, almost definitely. He thinks she's gorgeous, high confidence on that part too. He has a crush, but he knows, deeper than the rest, that Stevie isn't confident in herself yet. She acts it most of the time, but its under the surface, a thread of fear that she's not girl enough to count.
And Eddie has a crush. And Eddie can't tell her. Because Eddie won't put them in a situation where Stevie's pants come off, and Eddie suddenly can't see her as the woman she is. It would hurt Stevie so bad, and Eddie would never forgive himself.
It's not like he can ask her just how much surgery she got in LA so he can prepare. And honestly, he's not sure it would matter one way or the other. He's terrified that whatever her choice, Eddie will fuck up his reaction. The risk is unsolvable. Robin calls him out on his crush two months later, and since the other choice is even worse, Eddie lies, and says she's wrong. No crush. Nope. Not even a tiny one.
Eddie tries to will himself into becoming bisexual for an entire month, going so far as making out with a very feminine twink at a club - he thought he'd ease his way into this - but he's still decidedly straight. Rubbing against the twink's remarkably small dick wasn't repulsive, but it didn't do anything for him either. Sure, he learns there's all kinds of pleasurable things to try that he didn't know about, but he's still not into anyone but girls.
(I don't know if this is the right resolution bc Ive spun Eddie pretty tight here, but this is getting so long. )
Robin's girlfriend has a party at a gay bar for her birthday. Obviously, Eddie and Stevie are invited, and obviously, just like every other day on this earth, Stevie looks incredible. She has a sparkly dress and tall boots and glitter on her collarbones and Eddie wants to lick her. His lovelorn staring only gets worse as the night goes on. Stevie is dancing, and Eddie is drinking at the bar with a collection of purses and carabiners of keys slung around and clipped to him. It's obvious enough that a gay couple - Nick and Chris - starts teasing him about it, telling him to man up and ask the pretty girl to dance already.
Eddie is too drunk for this, and he for sure has a guilt trip later for it, but he just starts talking. All of his fears and all of his love, and how he can't ever say anything because he's tried, and he's straight anyway, and he loves Stevie too much to hurt her like that. It's an entire miracle that Eddie broke down in front of a decent pair of human beings, and not some assholes. They sweep him off to a quieter corner outside, help him calm down as he smokes, and feed him some fries.
Eddie is still wearing purses like bandoliers, is snotty and red eyed, is on his third cigarette and fourth whiskey, and resisting the need to runaway forever when the older of the couple calls over someone named Angel. A woman who, if Eddie was not hopelessly in love with Stevie, would be the source of an immediate new crush. She's older than he is, thin through the waist, thick thighs, bottle blonde hair in a ponytail, and has a few inches on Eddie with her heels. The primal part of his brain wants to climb her like a tree.
'Hi Chris. Oh, honey, you having a rough night?" Angel has a few words with Chris, then grins like the cat who caught the canary.
'You're gonna be my good karma for the month, cutie. You are attracted to me, no don't try, thats a cute blush but I can still see it behind your hair, you are. You're straight, right? Yeah, that's why you think I'm hot. Hey, Chris? Do you think I'm hot?"
"Not at all, babe. You know I only go for men."
Angel turns back to Eddie and leans close to explain. 'Chris is a bit of a man whore. Loooooves dick. Don't worry, he says it all the time. Favorite thing in the world, and I've heard he's great at sucking dick. Tragically, I never get to find out, because I'm not a guy.' She pushes the word a little. Then she steps even closer so she's pressed against his side.
Arousal sweeps through him because in love with Stevie or not, Angel is hot as hell. 'Wanna go fool around in the bathroom?' she whispers
Eddie is definitely tempted, already nodding, but doesn't get to speak. Angel rolls her hips. He feels -- A new bolt of arousal shoots down his spine. 'this change your mind at all?' Her voice drops two octaves, and Eddie's brain breaks.
Because, as it turns out, no. No, it does not change his mind. He's half hard, he still wants to climb her, and he's not entirely sure how to get her off, but he takes direction well.
'Aww, figure yourself out, already, honey? Or do you want to test run this a bit more before you go for it?' Angel is back to her real voice, a high alto. She has one hand on his chest, and Eddie can hear Nick laughing nearby. 'I won't lie, I know I won't get to keep you, but you look like we could have a real fun time as I teach you. Happy to get you trained up for her'
Eddie shakes his head, an insane mix of bubbly and numb.
'Ohhh, so you're gonna go get your girl?' She's teasing him.
Eddie nods, already moving, vaguely aware of more laughter and jokes about karma and saving lost lambs, but too fixated to listen. He's still carrying all the purses. He's not entirely sure where Stevie is in the bar. He has absolutely no idea what he's going to say when he finds her. Still not sure how to worship her properly. Extremely interested in following directions on the topic.
Eddie is still straight, but luckily, the girl of his dreams is dancing inside, and the rest of the details don't matter in the face of the possibility of finally asking her out.
When he finally chases her down at a high top with a cosmo, she laughs at how he looks, but he's never, ever seen her smile like she does when she agrees to a date with him.
--
This is sort of about a friend as they worked through realizing they weren't attracted to their wife after she transitioned, but that was sad, and this needed to not be. I guess I'm just thinking about the non-fanfic nature of life. Where it takes a guy a long while to figure himself out, because good intentions are separate from shifting how you think. Basically wanted Eddie in a situation where he has to reconcile the difference between gender and anatomy, and rewrite his own definitions of what he is and isn't attracted to. Robin had to go through a similar thing as she became attracted to Steve but only in the abstract. They're too platonic for gender to stop their bond
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i am convinced that human evolution and development was centered around the basic up-grade from "i steal your resources" to "i steal your behaviors and concepts"
We got clever enough and we just started copying absolutely everything we observed just because now we could figure out how to copy concepts and things that other animals were doing
see that squirrel hoarding acorns for the winter? we can do that. okay now how do we make these acorns edible, cause they are poisonous to a number of animals and we don't do great with them either. What if you put them in the fire? or just on hot coals? what if you put them in water on hot coals and boil them? Oh if you soak them in cold water for 24 hours and maybe change the water a couple times you can totally eat them? YOINK storing acorns for winter is our idea now.
or, you ever seen a weaver bird do it's thing? if not i'll give you one guess what they do
or how about the tailor bird that uses spider silk to stitch the edges of a big leaf together to make a nest in
or sometimes they'll stitch a bunch of leaves into a little cup for a nest
like i'm not trying to downplay how clever it is to be the first humans to weave or sew, and indeed, being the first person to weave that anyone knew about probably happened many times throughout human existence but my conceit is that most if not all of those times was a human seeing something in nature that was basically weaving and going "i'ma do that, and get real good at it - i'ma take that concept and really make it mine"
like it wouldn't surprise me if humans got dogs because we saw how ravens were treating wolves and went "shit yeah, great idea - YOINK that's my idea now."
most of the things that we think of as special human skill or behavior can actually be found elsewhere throughout nature -- all over there are animals using tools, farming, ranching, building, etc.
my favorite primate behavioralist anecdote is a group of people studying tool use in chimps were spending their days in the bush logging the use of twigs to catch termites, and over the campfire at night they're like "it's so boring i wish they'd do something more impressive than this completely basic tool skill."
and one of them was like "actually... how do we know its not a difficult skill? has anyone tried to use a twig to catch termites and see?" and so the next day, like good little scientists, they went out and recorded their attempts at catching termites with twigs.
And lo and behold out of the whole group and all their attempts that day, only, like, a single termite was caught by a human, mostly by chance. Suddenly the whole situation flipped - they'd been thinking of it as basic unskilled tool use, but actually the chimps knew how to do something that none of them could easily figure out on their own - or even together as a group!
y'all, they had to go back to watching the chimps do it to figure out how. Think about that. University degrees, scientific minds, educated people... and they had to be taught how by the chimps.
It turns out there's a reason that young chimps will spend like a year closely studying how an adult is fishing for termites. You gotta select the right kind of twig or leaf stem, maybe you fray the end like a paint brush depending on particulars, you gotta have just the right poking and little shaking technique to provoke the termites into biting the twig, it's a whole thing. There's even regional/cultural differences in the general approach to termite fishing that are distinct between groups that live in different areas.
Now, wild chimps have been observed using objects as tools to fashion crude spears for hunting (it's the mothers doing it by the way, and slowly some of their kids have been growing up doing it, which will probably result in refinements and developments eventually.
ants do both farming and ranching. For real. Some species of ant grow a fungus they eat AND it's a domesticated fungus, like our corn, it can't actually reproduce and survive in the wild without the ants farming it. They maintain its growing conditions and feed it leaf litter mulch, and the fungus produces some kind of ant food idk i forget the details about that. But that's farming. They are farming a domesticated mushroom, basically. And other species of ant will maintain a herd of aphids; they'll move them from grazing area to grazing area, and protect them from predators, and they "milk" them for a liquid food substance and also every now and then they straight up eat one. That's ranching.
beavers sometimes have muskrat... tenants? pets? The muskrats low key pay rent by changing out the reed bedding they all use, and they live in the beaver's lodge with them and eat some of the food. So. idk
Some Tarantulas keep frogs as pets
anyway my point is, i think the true human skill that sets us apart is our ability deconstruct and reconstruct anything we see into something that is for us. Oh, you eat that? Now WE eat that. You have the perfect teeth to drill little holes in specific tree trunks to let the sap ooze out and eat it because it's high in sugar? We don't have those teeth but we're gonna do that now and if we can't figure out a tool that's as good as your teeth at it, watch out, because we will absolutely just also steal your fuckin teeth.
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