#but like I really do love writing!! I am just feeling very bleh about what I am able to make recently

[blurglesmurfklaine]

I will not be annoying on main I will not be annoying on main I will NOT be annoyi—

[shiftylinguini]

Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me. 

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything 

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!). 

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works. 

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you 

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin. 

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up. 

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP 

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway. 

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media 

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole. 

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts. 

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity. 

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do? 

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.  

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it. 

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it. 

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice". 

It's good advice. 

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it. 

And lastly: 

FUCK STATS! 

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work. 

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

[mokie-bleh]

I hope your requests open again soon because reading this:

https://www.tumblr.com/phoenix-bleh/744341108818165760/ouuguhhhh-butter-roll-headcannons-please-i-need?source=share

Gave me an idea for the most adorable casual kidnapping ever....heck I'll share it now before I forget, that way it can be here chilling in your inbox for when your requests reopen or idk but hope you like it!

Just...butter roll either working via looking through papers or idk and reader just casually walks up to him...hugs him and nuzzles him before grabbing his hand and just....casually walking off with him. Like y/n is like 'I love you...come on, you're coming with me'. Like very sweet and casual. Lol! That's how y/n could 'kidnap him'..

Bonus:

Two ideas of possible responses my mind came up with buuut wanna see your actual one but just sharing for funsies!!

1.

Butter roll: aaaaaah....I'm being kidnapped...

*says it in a calm voice...but gives hand a squeeze as a sign of 'I love you.'*

2.

Butter roll: oh! My favorite type of kidnapping! So where are we going, my scientific wonder? Restaurant? Home? I can't wait!

*little smooch for y/n.*

OOOO WHAT GOOD IDEA

ok so I thought it might go something like this-

Butter Roll just casually checking his papers and writing down notes of anything really.

Then you come in and you give him a hug from behind. He looks behind him to see you “Oh hello y/n! do you need something?” he asked you. You look up at him and nodded with a big old smile on your face

“Mhm! i’m here to take you away!” you grab his arm and started pulling him with you “You’re coming with me!”

Now it would be funny if you just straight up told him you were kidnapping him and he’d be like oh ok well this is happening!

Or he’d be like awww am i your first victim oh im flattered and he just comes along with you.

obviously you don’t plan on doing anything bad with him just taking him somewhere….but you love him so it’s ok<3

Mostly thinks you’re too sweet to kidnap but you’re testing your skills on HIM?? he’s honored. He feels appreciated you’re thinking about him.

“Oh! where are we going? Well whatever it is I’m sure it’s gonna be so much fun!”

If you don’t tell him you’re trying to kidnap him he’d just grab onto your hand as well and assume you’re taking him somewhere or just trying to show him something.

You take him to your basement and he’s looking at you confused and you’re looking at him with a grin on your face. He slowly turns to your basement with a disturbed look on his face.

and then he realizing what’s happening….

“OH! you want to have a sleepover! oh what fun!”

[kaydeefalls]

20 questions for writers

tagged by @lindstromm - thanks! I'm in a bleh mood so a good askmeme is right up my alley at the moment.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

229, which include any fic I've written going back to 2002. About 30 of those works are vids instead.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,518,992! I just passed the 1.5mil mark with my last fic, and am very pleased with that. Especially because I remember only passing the 1mil mark early on in TOG fandom, so I've written quite a lot of those words just in the past few years. (By my standards, at least, that's a lot!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Many. I am very multifannish at heart. I tend to settle into one primary fandom for a few years at a time, but even then, I'm still writing the occasional oneshot for random other fandoms. Most recent primary fandoms were The Old Guard and X-Men, most recent fic posted was for Heartstopper (and I'll likely linger in that fandom for a bit now that I'm here).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Logical Deduction (HP, Remus/Sirius) - a very silly fic from 2006 that has, to my mild dismay, somehow risen the kudos ranks (6245 kudos?!) by virtue of the sheer enormity of HP fandom. So it goes.

it's like one of us woke up (X-Men, Charles/Erik) - XMFC canon divergence / fix-it fic. I'm still unsure why this is my most popular Cherik fic, but I'm not mad about it.

she's the one that they call old whatsername (Star Trek AOS, Kirk/Spock) - my only non-crossover Trek fic, and always-a-girl!Kirk to boot. I do love this one, still.

The Pond Continuum (Doctor Who, Amy/Rory) - in which Amy and Rory unwittingly encounter various other companions as they live out their post-Doctor life on the slow path. I am fond.

life is very long (Old Guard, Nicky/Joe) - my first TOG fic, posted like a week after the movie hit fandom like a ton of bricks, and reaping the kudos benefits of being in the right place at the right time. It was a good entry point into a new fandom for me, for sure!

I do love that my top 5 are all completely different fandoms; that feels very reflective of me as a writer. (Top 6, actually, since #6 is MCU.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes, always, if only with a quick thanks. Because I really appreciate receiving them, and want the commenters to know.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The angstiest ENDING? I have to dig deeper into the past for those, because I was more prone to writing them when I was much younger. These days, while I do enjoy a bit of angst along the way, I NEED a happy ending. Probably one of my old Remus/Sirius fics, but I'm not going trawling for a link now.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them, lately. I need to believe in happiness. Fandom is my escapism from an increasingly grimdark reality.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Very rarely, fortunately. Let's keep it that way. The backbutton is right there if you don't like any of my fics, no hard feelings.

9. Do you write smut?

Not really? Sex scenes, yeah, sometimes, but I've only got 4 fics (out of 229) rated as Explicit, and honestly, glancing over them now, they probably only really warrant an M rating. I have no interest in describing bits and bodily fluids in graphic detail, I don't personally find that sexy. But sex is a significant element of human connection for many folks, so yeah, I'll include it where it feels appropriate.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes, though I prefer fusions (characters from one verse written into another) to more literal crossovers (character A from fandom A meets character B from fandom B). But I've certainly written a few. They're fun!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several! I'm always excited and honored when that happens.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope, never. I'd be curious to try that out someday, though honestly, writing is such a private/internal activity for me that I'm not sure I'd be any good at it.

14. What is your all time favorite ship?

I do NOT play favorites in this way. I love all my OTPs in all their unique and individual ways, and I'll always happily revisit them years and years later (as a reader, at least). Here, let's just say that Mulder/Scully was my very first ever OTP, so they will always have a special place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I've never abandoned a WIP once I've started posting it (though a couple took YEARS to finish, ugh), so really, now we're just looking at my personal WIP folder in gdocs. There are a few in there I'm sad about leaving unfinished. Um, let's go with an old Doctor Who/Torchwood fic, which I've got like 15k words written for but have long since moved on from. Every few years I'll dig it up and reread what I wrote and quietly mourn the fact that I never finished it, but there's no way I'll ever get back into that particular headspace (and the fandom is a very different place now).

16. What are your writing strengths?

Character voices. I'm a good mimic.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sex scenes/action scenes. I despise writing these. Smut I avoid, but action scenes are sometimes necessary, and they drive me up a fucking wall.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language during a fic?

If it's just a few words/brief phrases sprinkled in, because that's how the character in question would speak, great. If there's extended dialogue - well, still depends on the character POV to me. If the character DOES speak the other language, I'd write it out in English (since that's the language I write fic in) and indicate through the narration that they're actually speaking Italian, or French, or what have you. If the POV character does NOT speak the language themself but is overhearing it, I don't include the dialogue at all, just narration to describe it. It's all about whose POV we're in and what's actually being understood, to me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

X-Files. You will not find those fics on my AO3. I was very young then.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

NO FAVORITES. TOO MANY FICS. My most recent fic is usually my current favorite, anyway, so have one last plug for and we have all the time in the world (to get it right) if you're into Heartstopper, and let's move on. 😉

No-pressure tagging @andrea-lyn, @knoepfchen, @polarcell and anyone who's in the mood to play!

[ctrlhope]

HOSEOK IS HOMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHHH MY GODDDDD!!!!!!!!

(updates below the cut lol) (also a sneak peak)

hiiiii!!! long time no talkkkkk my lovlies (＞ω＜)♡

first off-- an apology :(( im really sorry for just disappearing. i hate it, you guys hate it. i know :( it's really my worst flaw when it comes to writing / tumblr in general, haha~ i get rlly into something and hyperfixate on it (fun fact: bound by blood was written in like 3 days bc i got so into it lol), and then a gradual fallout until i feel burnt out. which then leads to the whole "omg i left for so long, now im anxious that everyone is gonna hate me when i come back and cause i haven't updated in so long and yadda yadda" when i actually want to come back LMAOOOO. which i know isn't true, but like, you know AKSNDK. So i hung out on my anime blog for a bit, then on discord, blah blah blah boring stuff!!

either way, i really am sorry for just dipping for so long. i always came back to check on this blog every once and awhile and to read stories. i really love the little community i built over here and i love all of you guys dearly. you really make this blog such a fun and enjoyable space for me so i hope you accept my apology and we can all still be fun and hang out and stuff <33 i missed you guys dearly.

THAT BEING SAID!!

I am back!! I was planning to come back for kinktober, actually, but unfortunately time just got away from me and I wasn't able to complete everything that I wanted to. This semester has been HECTIC!!! Senior thesis's are no joke, man, no joke. Feeding 600 spiders... every week.... BLEH!! (not cause of the spiders aksjhwfkh just cause it takes so long!! like!!)

That being said-- I don't have a current update schedule yet, just because I don't want to put too much pressure on myself again (burnout is a bitch!!) but~~ as of right now, I have plans for a "full comeback" (read: first fic) to come out the first week of November!! A little teaser of it will be at the bottom of this post too <33

Hopefully, if everything goes according to plan I will have a 'ficvember' (lol), where I post a fic every other week of November and December!! It is not set in stone (read as: I want to have a few fics lined up before I start just so I don't feel overwhelmed) but if everything goes according to plan, it will happen!! I'll make sure of it!!

I also plan to have a follower milestone soon, so stay tuned for an announcement post of that. I have lots of different things I want to do for it, I'm just not fully sure what you guys would like to see! I also updated my wips, so feel free to check them out to see what i've been working on!

But yeah!! Those are the plans so far!! To lay it out in a more organized manner:

November 1st: Chasing Tornados -> myg

November 2nd - 8th: Follower milestone announcement

November 15th, November 29th: New fic

Anyway! To wrap up this entirely too long post (I'm sorry, I'm terrible at shutting up), I truly am sorry for just leaving for so long. I have lots of plans in the works-- things I'm very passionate about and need to get out of my head before I explode, so new fics coming soon, I promise <333

Now, here's the reward I promised if you made it this far <33 I love u and we should kiss on the mouth freaky style <333

[toointojoelmiller]

🦒🦋🦒hello tumblr people 🦋🦒🦋

just dropping a lil personal note which feels weird but

I can't make gifs on my current computer set up which makes me sad lol. it was so fun. I am also missing writing and posting my lil fics sooo much. ur girl is strugglin

and it's extremely hard for me to make progress on writing right now. I'm still swimmin my way through the constant chronic stress fog and PTSD shit and I am doing ~*~Better*~* in that I'm medicated and not actively crying 24/7 and I'm going to work full time again, but the coping is a struggle, the executive dysfunction is a struggle, the getting up to walk around if I'm not at work is a struggle, and work is about as demanding as it has been which uh, not chill. ... lots more I don't even feel like complaining about cause the bottom line is it all sucks ass lmao. you get the jist.

Please understand that my stories aren't abandoned, I pick away at them every night, I literally fantasize about being able to have the time to write enough to be making faster progress. I am so excited for where they are going and I have so much planned, and i just.. my brain noodle got cooked for too long.

my job involves pretty regular exposure to vicarious trauma and straight ass trauma ... so writing traumatic fic is hard sometimes too. (even tho I love it lol and sometimes it feels like therapy)

long story short, I am very good at twisting myself up in knots over what i imagine another person might feel and I know a lot of people have loyally followed please don't go and enjoyed it. I loved getting to interact so much and update so frequently, it was a huge source of fun and happiness for me that i loved for months and months! so I miss it, and it really sucks to feel like I'm leaving people hanging now.

but right now I just really need to focus on making sure i get don't get depressed again (mentally ill ones will know🤘) .

and I'm also very particular and when I rush out a chapter I never like how it turned out so.. I'm not gonna do that anymore. bleh. so... picture my future updates like a very small slug... very far away... crawlin but like give it a while

[spurious]

fic writer 20 questions

I was tagged by @alienfuckeronmain & @nimuetheseawitch to do this one!

How many works do you have on AO3? 108. I need to add some ficlets to my collection but I've been slacking a bit on that, so.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 274,716

What fandoms do you write for? Star! Gate! At! Lan! Tis! The hyperfixation is strong ok. It's the thing that shook loose my half-decade dormant desire and ability to write, so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. Twenty Questions, 248 kudos 2. Ink and Wings, 221 kudos 3. Five Times Rodney (and John) Visit the Millers, 190 kudos 4. Solitary in a Wide Flat Space, 163 kudos 5. Abercrombie & Rodney, 151 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I really try to!!! One of the things that was not good about posting all my ficlets onto AO3 in quick succession was ending up with more comments than I could handle, so now I have a...backlog. Getting comments makes me feel so good though, and I just...want to honor the effort made with some of my own in return? Idk, I've talked about this a fair bit in a handful of posts but I'm just really not used to the amount of interaction I get in SGA fandom and I still feel.......very blessed lmao. Bleh sincerity on main how gross

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? We Are Standing On the Edge, a Jin/Kame fic about a road trip and the apocalypse which I wrote for @merionettes in a fic exchange in 2010.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics either have happy endings or implied happy endings? I like making good things happen to the characters I love so much. Sometimes after making bad things happen to them, but. At any rate, O I Think We Should Be Brethren is my personal happiest ending because of how long and hard a journey it is to get there.

Do you get hate on fics? I got a hate comment once, on the (in)famous Kanjani Cannibalism Fic.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Do I ever! I like to write kinky sex as a means of exploring and facilitating vulnerability. I also like to write blowjobs.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've never written a crossover! ..............I don't think, at least.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! A couple of my Johnny's fics have been translated into Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not to completion.

What’s your all time favorite ship? Yokohina, Sakura/Syaoran, McShep...don't make me choose between my children like this??? Sakura/Syaoran literally invented romance for my teenage self, like I am not kidding at how formative of a ship that was for me in my life. Also why I started learning Japanese, so. Yokohina will forever be beloved to me in the same way that Kanjani8 will forever be beloved to me, in a way that is (literally) tattooed into my flesh, in a way that influenced my life massively, in so many aspects. I will never not be thirsty for the two of them saying weirdly romantic things about each other in public forums, for them being the solid foundation upon which their group is built. For Yoko being a pigtail-pulling twelve year old boy towards Hina even as they're in their mid-forties. AND THEN THERE'S FUCKING MCSHEP. A ship that I knew about when it was popular and brushed off as an Any Two White Guys, Migratory Slash Fandom Thing. A ship that, when my wife and I started watching SGA, we said "haha wouldn't it be so funny if we ended up being all in on mcshep?" A ship that resonates in my heart in the most bizarrely intense way and shook loose the desire to write and create from its atrophied place in the back of my head. I love them. I hate them. They're perfect.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have about 25k of a later-years yokohina friends to FWB to lovers fic that I wish I could finish but the McShep brainrot is.........so strong. On the other hand, never say never?

What are your writing strengths? haha so much harder to answer this than weaknesses!!!!!!!!!!!! I think I can write good funny dialogue, which is amazing to me because when I started writing my dialogue was horrendous, just absolutely awful and stilted and I hated writing it so much! like it was a running joke between me and my best friend at the time that I could not write anything that sounded even remotely natural or like real human speech. guess that shows that practice makes perfect or whatever? idk.

What are your writing weaknesses? endings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ensemble casts/scenes with more than two people in them. plots more complex than simple romantic contrivance.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? nah. It always feels a bit fanfiction.net anime fandom to me?

First fandom you wrote for? speaking of fanfiction.net anime fandom....I wrote Sakura/Syaoran angstfic into a notebook when I was 13. The first things that I actually shared with other people were either Harry Potter or the fics I wrote about the boys at my church who were just unnecessarily homoerotic with each other in the way that only teenage church boys can be (iykyk)

Favorite fic you’ve written? guess. 🙃

Tagging: @sga-owns-my-soul @stargayatlantis @hearteyesmcgarrett @texasdreamer01

[feyascorner]

First off, I just gotta GUSH about how much I literally love your writings and all the little hc and tiny ideas you spit out on your blog~~ so much that you are actually one of the reasons I decided to pick up writing fanfic again and of course (Astarion is a literally, gem to write about)

I would like some advice if that is alright. How exactly do you get into the writing mood? I posted a chapter of a fic I am working on, but I seem to be in a slump right now. This is due to two things: I constantly feel this pressure while writing that it simply isn't as good as the fics I read myself, and I start to question whether or not I am actually doing well expressing the fic itself.

The second is, do you ever start listening to songs and get all these different scenarios you start planning on in your head, but when you try to write it, it just turns out to be bleh or nowhere near what you pictured in your mind? How do you manage to deal with that?

Thank you so much, and also so sorry for literally ranting/venting about this lol I think I just hold you in very high regard :)

Hello friend!! I'm so happy you decided to start writing again! It’s definitely a challenge sometimes w so much time that goes into it but it’s also very satisfying to watch it all come together :)

My writing process is a little more messy than it should be to be honest…i either just start writing for no apparent reason, daydream a lot throughout the day, but I think the most common occurrence is that I play the actual game and it just inspires me since I'm constantly talking to the actual character! It’s totally okay to be in a slump, it happens too often to me too. And as for feeling like your writing isn't good enough, please know that no matter how many fics there are yours is unique as your own. There's nothing like your own writing and it’s all the more reason to post it! And remember that writing is ultimately for your own satisfaction and nobody else’s! If you don't enjoy it there's no point! So try not to second guess yourself (I do this too but there really is no need to worry :)) if it helps I like to make some program read what I wrote out loud! It helps me catch mistakes and it makes me more confident in what I'm putting out so this might help you too <3

And yes I think it’s a universal author thing where you have so many thoughts but it just..doesnt work on paper? It’s the most frustrating thing ever but what I do is write JUST the dialogue first! I've seen this advice on other pages but if I write only the dialogue it’s harder to get stuck somewhere with description or actions. And if you like the way the dialogue came out you can just fill out the rest after :)

There's no need to apologize! I love that people trust me enough to ask for advice because I know how difficult writing can be…youre doing great just by writing a few words! Good luck I hope this helped even a little bit! ❤️

[xsezzie]

Profile Tag Game

Hello: My name is Sezzie, I know I can be rather blunt and robotic at times, but I promise you I don’t wish to intentionally hurt you. I am always open to having a chat whether it be in my DMs or through asks.

Chat: Tickling - Of course I like tickling, no shame in that. It’s completely normal… some people get flustered by it? Oh well, those people are the cutest~ Hm? You aren't cute? Well, I guess someone will need some tickles to convince them otherwise!

Chat: Identity - I wonder who I was yesterday, who I’ll be today, and what I’ll be tomorrow… I wish I knew who I was.

Chat: Masking - That thing I just did now, it was incorrect. I will be sure to act correctly in accordance with societal norms next time. If I do not act correctly then others will become disgusted or angry... Just as I would if you were to do the same.

When It Rains: Ugh, this would be nicer if it was at night time…

After the Rain: Everything either looks really clean or really dirty depending on the area… oh look, the birds are coming back out.

When Thunder Strikes: Ah… so relaxing.

When It Snows: What’s that?

When the Sun Is Out: Everything is as it should be…

When the Wind is Blowing: Ugh, my hair is messed up now…  

Good Morning: Get up already, the world is perfect at this hour. The bad people don’t come out until later so it’s best to enjoy it while it lasts! 

Good Afternoon: So hungry… must do my best to not eat a big meal…

Good Evening: Better get inside… they will be coming out soon.

Good Night: The optimal sleeping hours for those who suffer from depression are 10pm to 5am. Setting yourself a strict bed time will do wonders for your mental health, so hurry along, time for sleep.

About Sezzie: Alphabet - A fellow neurodivergent coworker taught me to think of all my disorders as “my alphabet”… so my alphabet currently is GAD, MDD and BPD… with ASD and ADHD in the process of being diagnosed.

About Sezzie: Writing - I actually hate that I’m the writer in the family and cannot physically draw. But, having a high literacy IQ certainly comes in handy when I’m creating. I’m glad people are able to feel my writing when I put the effort into it.

Something to Share: Name - My real name means “princess” apparently… I hope I don’t come off as one.

Interesting Things: Senses - Ah I love exploring sensory things. Honestly, I believe that feeling sensory pleasure is very soothing and not always supposed to be NSFW as most see it.

Sezzie’s Hobbies: Each of my personalities seems to have different hobbies, but if had to take a guess on the true me… writing, worldbuilding, and video games would be on top! I do also enjoy learning new things and gardening.

Sezzie’s Troubles: My existence troubles me… too dark? Well, deal with it. Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows, and I’m tired of coddling the special ones.

Favourite Food: I do not have the ability to have a favourite food due to my sensory eating issues… my addictions and interests change constantly. Ah but if there is one I’ll always come back to… Chicken Kievs hehe

Least Favourite Food: All of them! I like the art of food but eating? Bleh. I wish we didn’t have to.

About @otomiyaa: Ahhh she is my idol! I have been following her for years.. and only recently got the courage to begin talking to her more. I get nervous and think I come off as some weird fan that thinks they are friends with their idols. Forgive me Otomiya-SAMA!!

About @ticklystuff: He is the first person I began talking to when I joined the community. I feel like I owe him something for all the kindness and chats we have had together. I wish I could talk more often about hot MEN with him hehe

About @ticklish-n-stuff: Sakura-chan is one of the few people I can let my guard down and show my more "embarrassing" or "fangirl" sides to when it comes to characters I like. I am grateful to have her in my life. She also gushes about MEN with me and we have a blast discussing tickling.

About @nataliewritez: Nat is my adorable little sister and is a joy to chat to about anything. I can't believe we have known each other for nearly 2 years already!

About @fanfic-chan: Dessie is so adorable and such a comfy person to be around! Also the biggest lee ever hehe

About @ticklygiggles: Little does she know how cute she is. Perhaps I should go tease her sometime soon...

-

Tagging @fanfic-chan @nataliewritez @ticklish-n-stuff @ticklystuff @italeean @thatonetickleblog @anzynai @stopiteatpopcorn

[only-by-the-stars]

Hiiiii, Star ♥️💖💓💗💘 Could I get 4, 9, 12, 13, 19 and 21 for the hater ask meme, please? <3 I hope you're thriving <33

hiiiiii <333 I am trying to, hope you are!

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

it honestly doesn't tend to take much, I block with impunity if someone's being annoying/a jerk/both. this has happened with multiple z*link trolls, sigh. (and some of the irritating Mipha fans too, because not all of them appreciate her like I do. there are definitely some weird misogynist ones out there, and you should absolutely picture me yelling "YOU'RE NOT AFFILIATED WITH ME!" at them like Mr. Incredible.)

9. worst part of canon

Mipha being dead in the main timeline. TotK's entire fucking plot. Mipha not getting to fight in the cutscenes in AOC. just. everything to do with the Gerudo and Nintendo's racist handling of them. Valkyrie Profile 2's entire fucking plot. Star Ocean 3's entire fucking plot. WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL OF THAT??? whatever is going on with Chrono Cross' plot. shows getting prematurely cancelled.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIPHA IS SO UNDERRATED, SHE HAS TONS OF POTENTIAL THAT NINTENDO SET UP BUT DIDN'T FULFILL AND HAS MORE TO HER STORY THAN JUST HER ROMANCE WITH LINK AND PEOPLE NEED TO BE LESS DISMISSIVE OF HER JUST BECAUSE OF HER FEELINGS FOR HIM!!!

honestly there are so many under-loved female characters I love that should get more love ;~;

13. worst blorboficiation

again, gonna cheat and say any time an underwritten male character is prioritized over all others, and female characters are dismissed/ignored

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

nothing I can think of

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

whoo. bat, meet hornet's nest.

Zelda turning into a dragon. I did not shed a single tear, yo. only thing my eyes were doing was ROLLING.

(BOTW Zelda herself. I don't hate her, and I see potential in both her flaws and good points that canon didn't deliver on, but sorry fans, she is not the deepest most nuanced best written female character ever and being meh on her doesn't mean I hate female characters with personality. she's not even the best female character in the series, and the writing I've seen for ladies in other franchises blows her away. please play some games with better writing and get some higher standards. this is addressed not to people who merely like her, ftr, but the people who look at the crumbs Nintendo has given us and treat it like the feast of all feasts, top tier video game character development.)

fucking. Sephiroth. he's not a terrible villain, but I always liked Kefka and Kuja more for Final Fantasy villains.

(actually FF7 in general just doesn't do it for me the way other entries in the series do. like, it's good! but I don't ADORE it the way I do IX, VI, VIII, and V.)

*whispers* Ancient Cistern, a little? like, it was cool, but it's no Arbiter's Grounds or Snowpeak Ruins, for me. doesn't help that I put down the game in a fit of rage when the wack controls made me have a Very Bad Time with the boss and I haven't gone back to try and beat it.

so there's this book that got hyped up as being really good and I see people rave about it still and I tried it. and. I hated it??? I don't get it??? it was called The Eyre Affair and I do not see why people loved it. bleh.

[whentherewerebicycles]

WHAT a handsome boy!!!! perfect face perfect ears perfect little guy. today was a High Fatigue day for me despite sleeping 10 hours last night. I did manage to drag myself off the sofa for a very slow 40 min walk but by the end I was like uh will I have to crawl home I’m so tired I don’t know if I can make it. I think I probably need to be eating more protein but I still can’t really get myself to cook with meat… I find it gross to prepare and I don’t always enjoy the taste of it in my food. I did buy some protein powder to mix into morning smoothies though so maybe that will help, and as I cook more I can add more tofu to stuff. three good things I did today:

I finished a book, read half of another one, and then got 140 pages into a third one! I knew today was going to be a lying-around day but I didn’t want to spend it all on my phone as the news is horribly depressing and I always feel worse when I just scroll all day. I am going to get to 75 books for the year for sure but I can definitely make it to 80 if I just get into a good reading habit.

I signed up for a weight circuit training class at this little gym three minutes away from my house. they said they can help me modify stuff for pregnancy as I get further along. I’ve been feeling pretty bad about pregnancy weight gain—I know it’s a natural healthy unavoidable part of pregnancy, but I worked sooo hard to lose 30 lbs a couple years ago and watching the scale creep back up has been making me feel bleh, especially when I’m struggling to get myself out the door for my daily walks bc of Weariness. I’m hoping a small class structure will help create some accountability and also that having someone tell me what to do will make it easier to just do it. I want to do everything I can to get into good shape now so maybe there’s less wear and tear on my body during pregnancy + the recovery period is easier. plus I always feel good about my body when I’m consistently exercising regardless of my weight, so I have a feeling if I’m working out regularly I won’t be as in my head about the weight gain.

I made my 100th recipe in 2023! I think the nausea has mostly passed over so I’m trying to recommit to cooking healthy meals, both because it’s good for me (more vegetables!) and because idk I find cooking very soothing but it’s easy to forget that when you slip out of the habit for a bit. kind of like reading lol.

anyway other than that I snuggled with the dogs a lot and enjoyed the lazy day… god I love a holiday break I can’t wait till christmas. tomorrow I have to draft a rec letter and would like to write a bit!

[veliseraptor]

for the fic meme, would love to hear about 😎 and/or 📗

What fics do you prefer on a scale of canon compliant to wildly original?

I tend to read mostly canon divergent or canon compliant fics - these days often canon divergent so that my favorite characters get to live (womp womp) but canon compliant is also good for me. I prefer fics overall where maybe one major event or outcome gets tweaked and then exploring the ripple effects of that change; when alterations start to get too drastic such that the characters drift way away from their original context, I tend to get less interested, because as I think I've said before often a lot of what I like about a character has to do with their context and how it shapes/impacts them. change the context, change the character, I'm somewhat likely to be less interested because now it's a different character and that's not what I read fanfiction for. I like fanfiction for exploring different scenarios, or different facets of a character, but the point at which they feel transformed beyond recognition for me I lose interest.

this is why I tend to not read a lot of modern/non-magic aus for fantasy settings (with the weird exception of yi city, still don't know what that's about), but also don't read a lot of genre aus (i.e. sci-fi/fantasy/royalty/etc.). if things feel pulled too far outside of the canon setting/context it starts to feel less like reading fanfiction and more like reading something, well, original - and that's just not the what I go to fanfiction for.

however, that can also go for canon divergent aus if the divergence is significant enough or in a place to drastically change something about a character. it just depends on how likely that change feels to change the character at core as opposed to bringing out a new side of them; it's why I'm not actually terribly interested in aus where Xue Yang is saved/rescued off the streets as a kid, particularly if it happens pre-hand maiming.

there are exceptions, of course! I'm speaking purely in generalities.

Do you want to write something outside of fanfiction? If so, what about?

puts face in hands. yes, yes I do, periodically I stare wistfully at my own original project and then I get scared off by my nemesis (worldbuilding) and the fact that I have to figure out a bunch of things that are proving difficult to untangle in order to make a premise I really like with characters I'm already very fond of work. I'll - get back to it at some point, or at least I really hope so.

until then I've kind of accepted that this is just kind of what I like to do and I might as well do what I am enjoying regardless of the little hissing voice that tells me I should be trying harder to do my real writing (bleh).

oh I do also periodically enjoy writing overly verbose essays about things. it doesn't happen all that often but I do it sometimes and I enjoy it a fair amount when I can pull my brain together for it

[taegularities]

Hello, lovely Rid 💕💕

I'm here to ramble to you about your ramble in response to my ramble lmao.

First of all, we really do think alike apparently, because I also checked the wordcount of my feedback before sending it and it's probably the longest one I've ever written and will ever write. Even without all of the quotes it's like over 2k words, I really don't know how to shut up 😭😭😭

Thank you so much for taking so much care to write such a thoughtful response, Rid 🥺🥺🥺 I always love reading your responses to feedback, and not only my own, because everyone points out different things and you give even more insight into the story and your writing process. I can just read about your stories forever, even when it comes to commentary about them.

I watched the mv for 'when you're gone' and I totally agree with you that that scene matches OC's mood in the beginning of the chapter very well 😔😔😔 It also matches the way I was reading the Valentine’s day drabble, smiling at how adorable they were when I knew how we left off in cmi6. I've said it before but I'll say it again, the thing that hurts the most is knowing how happy they're able to make each other and seeing how they're now hurting each other instead 😭😭😭

Also about the rambling to my sister lmao. Cmi is the first fic I've properly talked to her about (she reads fanfic too, just not bts ones) and I was fully ranting to her about how Jungkook was keeping everything in and trying to be strong until he couldn't anymore, and now he's ignoring OC, I don't think I've ever ranted so much even about a real life person lmao. I might have not painted him in the best light because of how mad I was though 😔😔😔 But I probably will just ramble about how cute he is to her later on when everything works out 😌😌😌

Also also everyone has been adding onto the sadness and angst here and I don't know how they do it, because every time I even think about OC with someone else or just them being even sadder I want to cry lmao. But I still love reading everybody adding to the chaos, I can't lie.

Last but definitely not least, I feel like I haven't properly checked in on you in a few days, so how are you doing, Rid? 🥺🥺🥺

I MISSED YOU (she says after just 2 days lol), honestly, i was gonna shoot you an ask today lmao but since you're here, i can just say it now: i hope you're doing well! how's school going? &lt;3

2k even without the quotes? i don't deserve you fr 😭 no but seriously, i copied it into a doc, and thought, kay, must be around 2k, like all of it (which is already a lot) BUT 5.7K.... and it was like 10 pages long !! i went "awwh" out loud 😭

and thank you 🥺 i was even thinking of making a smol commentary one day, when i've got the time, bc i could talk about them forever 😭 i really love reading everyone's reviews and theories, bc sometimes it makes me rethink things that i didn't consider even while writing.

ikr? i spent my teenage years crying to 'when you're gone', and i kinda remembered the song when you pointed out that 'he can be comfort even now' bit :( and you're actually so right. might argue that it hurts even more to relate it to the vday drabble.. especially, considering what's still to come.

hahaha i get it 😭 after that chapter, it was hard to hold a high opinion of him, bc he did kinda fuck up :// but yes, i promise you, there are gonna be scenes and chapters that are so fluffy, it'll be almost disgusting, really. it's so cute that you ranted about it to your sister hahaha i really love that you're so invested 🥺

I KNOW! it's amazing how everyone was ready to jail me for all the angst... yet, they keep coming up with scenarios and songs that break me for good 😂 i wasn't as much in pain when i posted the chapter as i am now hahahah

ahh i'm okay, ivi, thank you for asking! i think the biggest reason for my bleh mood was that i'm... very bored. i've been feeling pretty unproductive since i took this super long break after graduation and quit my last job. which is why i'm lowkey excited (but also very scared lol) to start my semester next week and my job in may! will join you in your academic misery hahah but yeah. i'll be busier, but i'm looking forward to it, bc i do like being busy! hope you're all good, too 🥺🤍

[apatchedupdoll]

There’s a lot on Tumblr that I didn’t know I needed in my life. It gets distracting, but then sometimes it flares me up into wanting to make more. It drives me to want to make, either the art style, the ideas, the stories, or something else that makes me want to create. Even if it’s not drawing it could be writing or something else. That being said! Here’s todays art dump <3

This is pretty much finished, I may add some detail and touches later, but so far I’m happy with it.

The Komoraku or whatever I’m gonna call it is also going okay. I’ve colored everything, I just need to start adding detail, maybe a little more color differations but it seems to be going on fine. I’ll probably finish this tonight after I work.

Oh look! Turtle ocs? Nah it couldn’t be. Totally not a bunch of characters I made for the Prisoner’s Bale story. But seriously this is a lot of fun. This is pretty much the first iteration of the family so things could massively change before anything is set in stone. I’ve already changed Tobi’s age like 3 times already. I’m not totally convinced by Sophie’s design and Alex’s patters need some work for sure. There are a few other things I’m thinking about but you’ll have to wait for those changes to find out.

So why am I showing off the characters of Prisoner’s Bale? Well if I haven’t said or made it clear in my last posts (idk man sometimes I don’t make things easy) I’ve decided I’m going to make a comic for the story. Unlike Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? this one will be thought out very extensively. Think of this as sharpening my blade before I even try the Mother’s Land comic. ‘But wait, if you’re making two stories for rottmnt, then why are you making something that doesn’t relate at all?’ I hear you ask curiously while trying to get the cookie jar from the top of the fridge while I start to monologue. Ah, well I really like rottmnt and (as much as I’m happy we’re getting a new movie) I really don’t want to let it go just yet. I find fanfictions are the perfect way to help skills develop. If you’ve seen my Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? you may notice my writing skills are shit. I’ve also realized I tend to write myself into corners without realizing it before the last minute and have to rewrite almost everything, in fact I had a plan and when I posted the latest chapter I realized, oh wait oh shit fuck that means that this won’t work so that means oh god oh fuck shit fuck! I’ll let you guess what I fucked up lol. The point is I’m using my love of TMNT to help me develop better skills for projects that don’t need and can’t have the crutches fanfictions give. Does that mean all TMNT fanfictions do this? No, but this is what I use it for. I just feel like acknowledging it is good and something I shouldn’t be ashamed of.

So that’s my ramble. I hope y’all like the art. Maybe you found something useful and relatable hehehe. Oh and chapter 5 of OWHYBB is on its way. I can see it being finished around Thursday, but spring break is also over tomorrow so bleh! Things will def slow down when writing, still will have daily art uploads. Have a good day! I hope y’all remember not to eat too many cookies!

[oo-hazel-oo]

Ahhh Hazel!!!! YAY FOR EXAMS BEING OVER!!! I hope you have a nice and restful break, you deserve it!!

I have quite a few asks for you lol

4, 12, 20, 30, 42, 53, 64, 78, 88, 93, and 100!

Feel free to answer as many as you want, no pressure to do all!

<3💜

JINN!! hi friend!! sorry i am like… a month late in answering these 😅

4. Do you place any value in gender roles?

no, i definitely don’t think i should be expected to fill any specific role because of my gender. however, i am still very aware of the roles others often expect me to fill as a woman, which can become super frustrating. (for example, last week i had to explain to my little brother why andrew tate should not be his role model. he rolled his eyes and told me i was one of “those people”, whatever that means. fun times.)

12. Do you have the feeling you’ve lost something you might have had in another life - whether it be a person, a place, a world, a language, etc.?

not really? i'm not very spiritual, so i'm not convinced i existed in another life. but sometimes i do think about how my life could’ve been different if i hadn’t moved around a lot as a kid, or if i ended up in a different place than where i live now.

20. Do you want a grand adventure?

at some point, totally! i love traveling and would be 100% down to get a big van and live on the road for a while. but after i’ve seen more of the world i definitely want to settle down in one place and chill for a bit!

30. Are your choices fated or of your own free will?

free will, but to an extent (see below).

31. Is freewill an illusion?

to an extent, yes. i think that some people/communities have more freewill than others due to personal and systemic issues that prevent them from making their own decisions.

53. Which beliefs do you have that is most likely to be wrong?

hmm… not sure if this counts, but maybe the fact that i think whipped cream is gross. in theory, i feel like i should like it!! it’s festive, fluffy, looks super aesthetic on desserts, but something about it is just bleh. i’m pretty sure it’s the texture that throws me off. but yeah, i’m aware i’m probably missing out by always scraping it off (my social anxiety refuses to let me ask for no whipped cream when ordering a milkshake or dessert jdjdjkdk).

64. How consistent is your perception of time?

not consistent at all. i still feel like i’m 12.

78. Are you ever going to be satisfied?

i’m not sure. it's hard for me to not be worrying about something at any given moment. so yeah, probably not satisfied with everything, but i think being satisfied with not being satisfied all the time is more important and realistic for me.

88. Are you a jealous person?

honestly, kinda… but i'm usually the first person to realize it when i am and don’t let it affect how i treat others. definitely still working on it though!!

93. Do you draw meaning from your dreams, or do you disregard them?

yes, all the time! i love to annoy my family and friends with daily dramatic retellings of my dreams :)

100. What belief do you have that isn’t logically grounded, but you still firmly believe in?

my friends and extended family say that i’m a bit illogical when it comes to career goals. i’m very much a “do whatever makes you happy” type person, which as a creative writing major with no other money-making talents can be a bit scary, but i know i wouldn’t be able to succeed in a career i wasn’t happy doing. i know this isn’t the case for everyone, but i definitely think it’s the case for me, even if it is a bit illogical and impractical at times.

🌿 ask me something! 🌿

[1d1195]

Omg Sam you’re so sweet😭 sorry to have worried you :( but still that’s so kind of you! If I had to take a VERY long break I would let you know in advance! BUT I KNOW I FEEL SO GLAD THIS QUATER IS OVER!!! Rip to seeing the hot TA though lol

YAY TO ONE MORE WEEK!! Hope it will go smoothly and you can start break on a good-ish note! And omg that sucks that got sick!! But at least it was because of you niece so it can be to bad especially if she’s so adorable! And Sam YOURE ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN IF ANYTHING LIVE THAT UP! I hope you feel better bestie and recover soon 💕

Oh I get totally being in love with fictional men lol girl do you even know how many times I’ve literally compared fictional to irl?! It’s crazy😭

I agree with it’s so gross being ill and hot!! I’m on your side for this temp war though lol

I bet your tree looks so cute!! I think I’ve mentioned before how I can see you be so good at decorating! But so real about the spending but like it’s the holidays lol do you have like a go to recipe when it comes to baking? What’s your fave to bake?

Oh Traditional Harry would so not care at all and it’s kinda hot lol and i obviously need HIMMM badly for reasons beyond his money lol

It’s really amazing though how much care you put into your students and I’m glad you all made it out of the trenches lol but seriously it’s most definitely means so much the kid that’s so sweet 😭

Not the Christmas lights😭 but omg I totally get you, and honestly that seems very healing! I think I’m okay like idk I’m just tired and perhaps I’m still ignoring stuff but I’ve been worse lol but I hope so too!

BESTIE I FORGOT TO MENTION THE MOON PART!! SHES SO ME BC SHES A MOON GIRL😭 I definitely do like this approach you’re taking with the flashbacks and all, it definitely gives perspective of how truly SLOW burn can be and sometimes this happens irl! Gonna be lame and mention how it reminded me of the lyrics from a song by Hayley Williams 😭 “Would I do it all again? Oh yeah in a second. Might taken 30 years. But I was always on my way to him”. Anyways lol it’s so cute that you have Christmas related part! Hope you can have time to write but please don’t stress bestie!-💜(this is gonna be a two parter agin😭)

Omg I dread the day that happens, but you never have to let me know! Things happen! OMG I lowkey FORGOT about hot TA. I imagine by now he wears his button down unbuttoned or was just half naked.

I have recovered mostly from my cold! I'm hanging onto some congestion and a dry throat but otherwise thriving. I'm fairly tired though and that's annoying. I know I've mentioned my brain functions best early in the morning so I like CANNOT write right now. I feel so bad because ALL I want to do is update The Lottery (but tbh it's kinda not hitting, I don't think I can write series; I don't think people want to commit to them) but I opened my doc just now and BLEH. Nothing. So I don't think it will get updated tomorrow (Thursday) :( but I will be able to update by Monday or die trying lol

I'm a chocolate chip cookie girl for sure (Massachusetts state cookie of course.) But I made brownies from scratch too. I just used a recipe I found online and I've done it before but I tested one of the brownies (and like seven scoops of the batter) and it tastes better this time around. I am also my family's apple pie baker. When we go apple picking I usually make like three or four pies for family/friends/coworkers. Then usually two for Thanksgiving and at least one for Xmas. I also make a few for my AP Stats/Calc students for Pi-Day in March lol. the recipe is from a cookbook my mom has had since the 70s/80s? Idk it might have been my grandma's lol it's old as hell and my sister nearly destroyed the book pressing her wedding flowers last year so I had to type it up finally to keep lol.

ANYWAY. Cookies are my favorite to bake from scratch. I've never tried cupcakes from scratch so maybe that'll be a project for myself. The series involving my Basketball bf, the following book was the one with the baseball guy/nanny that I had to wait to read so I could finish Honey, the main girl was a baker (and turned into the nanny). If I wasn't so smitten with my basketball bf I would accept him as my baseball bf but that seemed like too much. Gotta spread the wealth, ya know?

I too am a moon girl! I was staring at it all weekend since it was full! And Mars was right next to the moon this morning on my drive to work 😍 I love the sky 🥰

xoxo