#but like I genuinely love doing like think pieces about this show
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penn-dragon · 2 days ago
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You’ve activated my trap card: infodumping my thoughts about Sanji’s fucked up relationship with vulnerability and intimacy.
I remember reading something once that talked about how many men struggle with discerning the difference between the desire for intimacy and the desire for sexual satisfaction because the two are so often considered synonymous for men in society. One person talked about how her partner thought he had ED issues until they started exploring different ways to fulfill his emotional needs and he learned the difference between being horny and wanting emotional closeness. That’s always kind of stuck with me, the way men are expected to fulfill all of their emotional needs through sex with romantic partners, because wanting non-sexual intimacy is something seen as “girly” or “weak.” And I’ve thought about it a lot in regards to Sanji and his relationship to masculinity and vulnerability.
Sanji has a very hard time expressing his kind and vulnerable side because of the abuse he suffered as a kid. After he ran away from Germa, he learned to act like a tough little asshole as a defense mechanism, because there was no one to protect him anymore. Even after Zeff took him in as someone who genuinely loves him, Zeff basically acts the same way, being rough and tumble ex-pirate who communicates his love to Sanji in more subtle ways. So being raised by him pretty much reinforced that switch in his personality to only showing his kindness in ways that are considered acceptable for a man (cooking, flirting with women, ect.)
Sanji is most comfortable putting on a tough guy persona and acting like an asshole, even if his actions directly contradict it (e.g. saying he only saves women only to risk his life throwing Usopp out of danger three seconds later). Which is something a lot of people in One Piece do, but Sanji takes it to another level, because even now he has his family’s voices in the back of his head telling him he’s weak, a failure, subhuman. Rather than just a front to act tough, I think Sanji genuinely feels unsafe showing the parts of himself he was told make him weak. He trusts his friends with his life, but childhood trauma dies hard and the traumatized child inside him still thinks showing kindness and vulnerability leads to pain, and as such he still struggles to be truly emotionally vulnerable with people, ESPECIALLY other men, who he sees as the bigger threat.
However, fearing your emotional needs doesn’t make them go away. Sanji LOVES people. Despite his incurable asshole disease, he’s extremely personable. He has a big bleeding heart and cares so deeply for the people around him. He craves connection, and I think that goes doubly so for a romantic relationship, because Sanji loves so intensely. I think in a relationship with Zoro they would have a hard time getting into sync at first. Falling in love with Zoro came out of LEFT FIELD for Sanji, it was in NO WAY something he was prepared for and is nothing like he ever imagined, therefore it’s completely uncharted territory. They suck at communicating because Zoro doesn't always realize things need to be said out loud and Sanji’s afraid to ask. He’s especially not comfortable with the idea of wanting intimacy from Zoro. Despite the inherent trust and respect they have for each other, their relationship has always been volatile, electric, violent. There’s no room for softness. Men aren’t supposed to want tenderness from other men. He’s not supposed to want closeness from Zoro. That’s not how they are, that’s not what he pretends he is.
Sex on the other hand, sex is safe. Men are supposed to want sex—expected to—and while sex and emotional intimacy often go hand in hand it’s not scoffed at the way non-sexual intimacy is. He’s able to fulfill some of the desire for closeness through sex without completely opening himself up to vulnerability. But wanting sex and wanting intimacy aren’t the same thing, and Sanji’s not actually allowing himself what he needs. Enter Zoro figuring out what Sanji’s doing after he reaches a breaking point (starts sobbing half-way through sex which PANICS THE HELL out of Zoro) and being like “yeah I’m not letting him do that anymore” and starts opening up the option for different kinds of intimacy in their relationship in a way that doesn’t make Sanji feel exposed or demeaned.
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I have a headcanon that Sanji struggles with wanting/asking for non-sexual intimacy from Zoro. So if he's having a rough day or just wants to be held by the man he loves he'll initiate sex in order to feel that connection, regardless of whether he's actually in the mood. But Zoro's gotten unnervingly good at telling when he's doing this and redirecting to give him what he actually needs in that moment.
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littlelamy · 2 days ago
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Hii! I love your writing. Do you think you could write one where Rafe is a single father of a 4-year-old son and he meets a reader, and then they start a relationship and she meets his son and well, they start being a family? I'd love something like that, thank youuuuu
lamy's note: sorry that this is so late! i hope you like it <3
rafe cameron’s life revolved around his four-year-old son, oliver. The little boy was his entire world, a bright spot in the sometimes chaotic life of a single father. mornings were a blur of packing lunches and tying shoelaces, evenings a mix of storytime and sleepy cuddles. it was a rhythm rafe had gotten used to, even if it left little time for himself.
one rainy afternoon, rafe and oliver ducked into a cozy little café to escape the downpour. oliver clutched his favorite dinosaur toy, his small hand wrapped tightly around rafe's fingers. the warm atmosphere welcomed them, the smell of fresh coffee and pastries wrapping around them like a comforting hug. they found a table near the window, where oliver could watch the raindrops race down the glass.
as rafe settled into his seat, his eyes drifted across the room and landed on you. you were seated a few tables away, engrossed in a book, your fingers playing absently with your hair. there was something about you—maybe the peaceful way you seemed lost in your own world—that caught his attention. it had been a long time since he had felt that pull, the quiet intrigue of wanting to know someone.
oliver’s voice pulled him back. "daddy, can I have a cookie?"
"after lunch, buddy," rafe replied, ruffling his son’s hair. "let’s get something to eat first."
when the barista brought their sandwiches and a small cookie for oliver, rafe took the chance to glance your way again. to his surprise, you were looking back, a soft smile on your lips. it was enough to stir something inside him, a quiet encouragement to make a move he hadn’t considered in a long while.
gathering his nerve, rafe stood and walked over to your table, oliver trailing behind him. “hi,” he said, his voice warm but a bit unsure. “do you mind if we sit here? my son has a lot to say about dinosaurs, and i’d love a little adult conversation.”
your smile widened as you nodded. “of course. I could use some dinosaur facts myself.”
as rafe and oliver settled into seats across from you, the conversation flowed easily. rafe learned that you were new in town, working as a teacher at the local elementary school. you asked about his work and how he managed to juggle everything as a single parent. there was a natural chemistry, an ease in the way you spoke, the laughter that bubbled up between shared stories.
oliver, ever the chatterbox, quickly took a liking to you. he proudly showed off his toy, launching into an animated explanation of why the t-rex was the king of dinosaurs. you listened with genuine interest, your enthusiasm making oliver beam with pride.
by the time the rain had stopped, it felt as though you’d known each other much longer than just a single afternoon. before you left, rafe asked for your number, a hopeful gleam in his eyes. “maybe we could do this again sometime? without the rain.”
you agreed, your heart fluttering at the prospect.
in the weeks that followed, the two of you saw more of each other. rafe would pick you up after work, oliver bouncing in the back seat, eager to share his day. dinners turned into outings at the park, where oliver’s giggles echoed through the playground, rafe's hand finding yours as you watched him play. the three of you fit together seamlessly, like a puzzle you hadn’t known was missing a piece.
one evening, after oliver had been tucked into bed, rafe invited you to stay for a late-night movie. the living room was cozy, the soft glow of the tv casting shadows on the walls. you sat close, the warmth of his arm around your shoulders, the quiet intimacy of the moment stretching between you.
when the movie ended, neither of you moved, the silence filled with unspoken words. rafe turned to you, his eyes searching yours. "i've really missed this," he said softly. "having someone to share my life with. i'm glad it's with you"
you reached for his hand, threading your fingers through his. "me too."
the kiss that followed was tender, a slow, gentle meeting of lips that spoke of more than just attraction—it was a promise of what could be. as you leaned into him, the weight of loneliness lifted, replaced by the warmth of a growing love.
in the months that followed, you became a part of their lives in every way. weekends were spent building blanket forts with oliver, evenings filled with quiet moments on the couch, your laughter mingling with rafe’s as you recounted the day’s events.
the day oliver called you "mommy" for the first time, your heart swelled with emotion. rafe squeezed your hand, his eyes shining with gratitude and love.
you were no longer just a visitor in their lives. you were family, a bond formed through shared moments, love, and the quiet understanding that together, you had built something beautiful.
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ssa-danhotchner · 3 days ago
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The thread that binds us | Aaron Hotchner x reader
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summary: after years of friendship, missed chances, and unspoken feelings, Aaron Hotchner and the reader drift apart. Life takes them in different directions—promises left unfulfilled, words left unsaid.
cw: fem reader, non BAU reader, mention of Haley's death, emotional angst, missed chances, grief
wc: 9.6k
note: the years are not exact
english isn't my first language so please be kind! i recently watched Love, Rosie so I have to write this
You met Aaron Hotchner in high school—though “met” wasn’t quite the right word. It was more like fate threw you together in the most chaotic way possible.
The first day of junior year, you showed up late to homeroom, and the only seat left was next to him. He had his arms crossed, his black hoodie pulled over his head, and a bored expression on his face. He looked like the kind of guy who never broke rules and always finished his homework on time.
“Great,” you muttered under your breath as you slid into the chair.
He glanced sideways at you, arching an eyebrow. “Something wrong with sitting here?”
“Not yet,” you said with a smirk, pulling out your notebook.
He rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t until later that day in chemistry class that you found out how insufferable—and surprisingly fun—Aaron Hotchner could be.
“Do you even know how to hold a pipette?” you asked as you watched him fumble with the equipment.
“Do you?” he shot back, his dark eyes narrowing playfully.
“Yes, actually. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m brilliant.”
“Right,” he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “You’re so brilliant you couldn’t even find your way to homeroom on time.”
“Touché,” you muttered, grabbing the pipette from him. “Move over. Let me save you from yourself.”
He grinned then, wide and genuine, and it was the first time you realized Aaron Hotchner wasn’t as stoic as he seemed. In fact, he could be downright charming when he let his guard down.
𐙚
1984
You became friends after that, though it wasn’t immediate. Aaron wasn’t the type to let people in easily, but once he did, he was loyal to a fault.
By senior year, you were inseparable. People joked that you were attached at the hip, though neither of you ever corrected them. You weren’t dating—everyone assumed you were, but it wasn’t like that. At least, that’s what you told yourself.
“What are you doing after graduation?” Aaron asked one day as you sat in your usual spot on the bleachers, watching the soccer team practice.
“I don’t know,” you said, kicking at a loose piece of gravel. “College, I guess. You?”
“Probably the same,” he said, leaning back on his elbows. “My dad wants me to go to law school eventually.”
“Of course he does. You’ve got ‘future lawyer’ written all over you.”
“And what do you have written all over you?” he asked, glancing at you with a smirk.
“Trouble,” you said, grinning.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said, laughing softly.
𐙚
Aaron had been thinking about asking you to prom for weeks.
It wasn’t that he assumed you’d say yes, but the idea of going with anyone else just didn’t make sense. You were his best friend. His person. The one who understood him better than anyone.
But there was this nagging doubt in the back of his mind—this quiet voice that whispered, Why would she want to go with you?
You were effortlessly charming, the kind of person who could light up a room just by walking into it. Meanwhile, Aaron was… well, Aaron. Reserved. Cautious. Always too serious for his own good.
So he hesitated.
And then, one afternoon, he found himself in the hallway with Haley Brooks—the golden girl of your high school, the one everyone adored. She was kind, beautiful, and, most importantly, she was interested in him.
He should’ve walked away. He should’ve told her he already had someone in mind.
But when she smiled at him and casually mentioned how she still didn’t have a date for prom, something inside him wavered.
He thought about how easy it would be.
How no one would question why Aaron Hotchner, the quiet, studious overachiever, was taking Haley Brooks to prom.
How maybe, just maybe, if he asked you and you said no, it wouldn’t hurt as much if he had never asked at all.
So instead of finding you after school like he had planned, he looked at Haley and said, “Do you want to go with me?”
𐙚
You smiled when Aaron and Haley arrived at prom together.
At least, you hoped it looked like a smile.
You had spent weeks waiting for him to ask you, certain that he would. Certain that, after all these years, it just made sense.
But he never did.
And when you saw him standing beside Haley in his perfectly pressed suit, his hand resting carefully at her waist, you understood why.
So you smiled. You laughed. You pretended it didn’t sting.
But when a slow song came on, and he met your eyes across the dance floor, something inside you twisted painfully.
Because for a brief moment, you saw it—hesitation. Regret.
And then, before either of you could move, Haley took his hand, pulling him toward the dance floor.
So you turned away, forcing yourself to do the same.
Later that night, when the party had begun to slow and most of the crowd had thinned, you felt a familiar presence behind you.
You turned, and there he was.
Aaron.
He looked unsure, like he was still trying to convince himself to be here.
“Dance with me?” he asked, his voice softer than usual.
You hesitated. “What about Haley?”
“She won’t mind,” he said quickly. “It’s just one dance.”
Just one dance.
So you let him take your hand, let him pull you onto the dance floor as another slow song started. His hands found your waist, your arms looped around his shoulders, and for a moment, it was like nothing had changed.
Like it was still just the two of you, the way it had always been.
You swayed in silence, and then—so softly it almost didn’t feel real—Aaron leaned in.
Your breath hitched.
And then his lips were on yours.
The kiss was hesitant, searching—like he was afraid of what it meant but couldn’t stop himself, either.
Your fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket, your heart hammering against your ribs. You had imagined this moment so many times, but nothing had ever felt quite like this.
But then, just as suddenly as it had started, he pulled away.
His eyes were wide, his breathing unsteady, and for a moment, you thought he was about to say something that would change everything.
But then his face shuttered.
“I—” He swallowed, shaking his head slightly. “That was a mistake.”
The words hit you like a slap.
Aaron must have seen something in your face because he immediately backpedaled. “I mean—I just—” He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Your stomach twisted, and you forced yourself to nod. “Right. Yeah.”
Neither of you spoke for a long moment. The song was still playing, but neither of you were dancing anymore.
You should’ve said something. Told him he was wrong. That it wasn’t a mistake, that it meant something.
But instead, you nodded again and forced a smile. “It’s fine, Aaron.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else—like he was desperate to—but instead, he just exhaled and gave you the smallest, saddest smile.
And that was that.
Neither of you brought it up again.
𐙚
You and Aaron didn’t fall apart after that night.
You still spent the summer together before college, still stayed up late talking, still laughed until your stomachs hurt.
And if sometimes his eyes lingered on you a little too long, or if you caught yourself remembering the feeling of his lips on yours—you both pretended it never happened.
Because that’s what Aaron wanted.
And if he could pretend, then so could you.
But deep down, you knew the truth.
It hadn’t been a mistake.
It had been a choice.
And maybe, one day, he would finally be brave enough to make a different one.
𐙚
The summer after graduation felt like borrowed time.
You and Aaron knew things were changing—college, distance, new experiences—but neither of you talked about it. Instead, you spent every moment together, stretching out the days like they could last forever.
Late-night drives with the windows down, the radio playing softly in the background. Sneaking into your old high school football field, lying on the grass, talking about nothing and everything. Silent moments where you’d catch him looking at you, like he was memorizing your face, just in case.
But no matter how hard you tried to ignore it, August crept closer.
“I don’t get why you’re going all the way to New York,” Aaron said one evening, his voice unusually tense. You were sitting on the swings at the park, your feet dragging in the dirt.
“Because I need to,” you said simply, staring up at the sky. “And you’re staying here because you need to.”
“Yeah,” he murmured. He was quiet for a long moment before he spoke again. “We’ll still talk all the time.”
You nodded, but a part of you didn’t believe it.
It wasn’t like you wanted to drift apart, but life had a way of pulling people in different directions.
𐙚
At first, you kept your promise.
You called constantly—late-night conversations that stretched into the early hours, emails filled with inside jokes and stories about your new lives. You told Aaron about your classes, your new favorite coffee shop, the people you met. He told you about his professors, how law school wasn’t as bad as he expected, how his dad was already making plans for his future.
But as the months passed, the calls grew less frequent.
“I miss you,” you admitted one night, your voice quieter than usual.
“I miss you too,” he said, but he sounded tired, distracted.
And then, one day, he didn’t pick up.
It wasn’t intentional, not at first. He got busy. You got busy. Weeks turned into months. You’d pick up your phone to text him, only to hesitate, wondering if he’d even have time to respond.
Slowly, the spaces between your conversations stretched wider, until one day, you realized you hadn’t spoken in over a year.
𐙚
1995
You weren’t expecting an invitation to Aaron’s wedding.
By that point, it had been years since you’d last spoken. Life had pulled you in opposite directions—him with law school and the FBI, you with your career and a life far from Virginia. But one day, an envelope appeared in your mailbox, his name scrawled neatly across the back.
Opening it, you found an invitation to his wedding with Haley.
It felt like someone had punched the air out of your lungs.
The last time you’d seen Aaron, there had been something unspoken lingering between you, something you had buried deep because you didn’t know what to do with it. But now, seeing his name next to hers, reality hit you like a freight train.
He had moved on. He was happy.
And you? You weren’t sure what you felt.
A week later, your phone rang.
“Y/N,” Aaron’s familiar voice came through the line.
“Aaron,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “Hey.”
“Did you get the invitation?” he asked.
“I did,” you said softly. “I was… surprised.”
“I know,” he admitted, his tone hesitant. “I wasn’t sure if you’d come. But it wouldn’t feel right without you there.”
Your chest tightened.
“Of course I’ll come,” you said, even though part of you wanted to say no.
There was a pause, and then he cleared his throat. “There’s, uh, something else. Haley and I were talking… and I was wondering if you’d say a few words at the reception. You’ve known me the longest out of anyone, and—”
“Aaron,” you interrupted gently, your heart aching. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” he said firmly. “It would mean a lot to me.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Okay. I’ll do it.”
𐙚
The day of the wedding came faster than you expected.
You arrived at the church early, trying to keep your emotions in check as you took your seat near the front. The ceremony was beautiful—Haley looked radiant, Aaron impossibly handsome in his tux. Watching them exchange vows was bittersweet; you were happy for him, truly, but it was impossible to ignore the pang of longing deep in your chest.
At the reception, you did your best to blend into the background, sipping champagne and avoiding the dance floor. But when Aaron called your name, motioning for you to come up and speak, there was no hiding.
You took a deep breath, standing up and walking to the microphone. The room was quiet, all eyes on you, but your focus was solely on him.
“Hi, everyone,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Y/n. Aaron and I have been friends since high school, and I’m honored to be here today to celebrate this incredible milestone in his life.”
You glanced at him, your chest tightening at the small, encouraging smile he gave you.
“I could stand here and talk for hours about the kind of person Aaron is. How he’s always been the smartest guy in the room, how he has this way of making everyone feel safe, of making them laugh even when he pretends he’s the serious one. He’s someone who gives all of himself to the people he loves.”
You hesitated, gripping the edge of the microphone stand.
“But what I really want to say is this: Aaron, no matter where life takes you, no matter where you are or who you’re with, you’ll always have a piece of my heart. I’ll always love you.”
The room was quiet for a beat before polite applause broke out. Everyone took your words as the sentiment of a lifelong friend, but when your eyes met Aaron’s, you knew he didn’t.
His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his eyes—a flicker of recognition, maybe even regret.
He didn’t say anything, though.
Later, as the night wound down, you found yourself alone on the balcony, staring out at the stars. You heard footsteps behind you and turned to see Aaron standing there, his jacket off, his tie loosened.
He stepped beside you, resting his hands on the railing. The soft hum of music and laughter filtered through the open door, but out here, it was quiet—just the two of you and the weight of everything unspoken.
“You always did sneak away at parties,” he said, his voice tinged with warmth.
You smiled faintly. “Some things never change.”
For a moment, the two of you stood there in silence, the kind that felt more like a conversation than anything you could put into words. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, taking in the slight slouch of his shoulders, the loosened tie, the way his fingers curled against the railing like he was anchoring himself.
“I meant what I said in there,” you said softly, breaking the stillness.
His jaw tightened, and for a second, you thought he might say something. But instead, he exhaled slowly, looking down at his hands.
“I know,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding. “Aaron…”
He turned to you then, his dark eyes meeting yours, and for a fleeting moment, you saw it—something raw and vulnerable, something that felt like an echo of the feelings you had buried long ago.
And just like that, it was gone.
Because Aaron already knew what you were about to say.
And he wanted—God, he wanted—to tell you he felt the same way. That there had been nights when he couldn’t sleep, thinking about the way you’d looked at him during your prom dance. That there had been moments when he’d almost picked up the phone, only to stop himself because he was afraid of what it would mean. That even now, standing beside you on his wedding night, part of him wished things had been different.
But he couldn’t.
Not now. Not tonight.
So instead, he reached out and gently tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering for just a moment longer than they should have.
“You always know what to say,” he said quietly, his lips twitching into a small, bittersweet smile.
You searched his face, hoping—praying—for something more. But he stepped back, the space between you suddenly feeling too wide and too small all at once.
“Come back inside,” he said, his voice soft. “They’ll miss you.”
And just like that, the moment was gone.
You nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Okay.”
But as he walked back inside, you stayed behind, gripping the railing as your breath hitched in your throat.
Aaron had stopped at the doorway, his hand on the frame. For one fleeting second, he turned back to look at you, something heavy and unspoken in his eyes.
But he didn’t say it.
Because he knew that if he did, it would change everything.
And he couldn’t let himself do that.
So, with one final glance, he disappeared back into the glow of the reception, back to Haley, back to the life he had chosen.
You stayed on the balcony a little while longer, staring up at the stars, letting the weight of the moment settle over you.
Aaron loved you. You knew that now.
But sometimes, love wasn’t enough to rewrite the story.
And so, you turned and walked back inside, letting the door close behind you.
𐙚
2008
The coffee shop hadn’t changed.
It still smelled of roasted beans and cinnamon, the same tiny bell chimed above the door when someone walked in, and the old barista at the counter still greeted customers with a warm, knowing smile. It was one of those places that seemed untouched by time, as if the world could shift and change outside, but inside, everything remained the same.
You hadn’t been here in years. Not since before Aaron’s wedding.
And yet, as you stepped inside, the familiarity wrapped around you like an old memory.
You had been back in D.C. for a few days, just for work. It wasn’t meant to be anything more than a quick trip—a conference, a few meetings, and then back home. But something about the city had drawn you in, pulling at the threads of a past you thought you had let go of.
And apparently, fate wasn’t done with you yet.
Because there, sitting in the farthest corner of the café, was him.
Aaron Hotchner.
He looked different. Older, in a way that had nothing to do with age. His hair was shorter than you remembered, the sharp angles of his face even more defined. He looked good—too good—but there was something behind his eyes, a tiredness that hadn’t been there before.
You hesitated, debating whether or not to turn around and leave before he could see you. But it was too late.
Aaron looked up just as you took a step back, and the second his gaze locked onto yours, time seemed to slow.
His expression shifted from surprise to something softer, something almost unreadable. And then, before you could make a decision, he smiled—just a little, just enough to make your heart ache in a way you weren’t prepared for.
You took a breath and walked toward him.
“Hey, stranger,” you said, your voice lighter than you felt.
Aaron’s lips twitched, like he was suppressing a real smile. “I was starting to think you disappeared off the face of the Earth.”
You chuckled as you slid into the chair across from him. “I could say the same about you.”
There was a beat of silence. Not an awkward one, just a quiet moment of taking each other in.
“How long has it been?” he asked finally.
You tilted your head, pretending to think. “Since your wedding.”
His expression flickered for a moment, but he covered it quickly, nodding. “Yeah. A long time.”
Another pause.
You weren’t sure how to bring it up—how to ask him how he was doing without bringing up her. The last time you had seen him, he had been standing at the altar, his hands in Haley’s as he vowed forever. And you had smiled, clapped along with everyone else, and then walked away, knowing deep down that something between you and Aaron had closed that day.
But now? Now, he was sitting here, alone.
“You look good,” you said instead. “Tired, but good.”
Aaron huffed a quiet laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s a nice way of saying I look like hell.”
You smiled. “I wouldn’t go that far.”
He took a sip of his coffee, watching you over the rim of his cup before setting it down. And then, just like that, his expression shifted again—more serious, more raw.
“I’m divorced.”
The words came so suddenly that it took you a moment to register them.
You blinked. “Oh.”
Aaron let out a breath, as if finally saying it aloud was both a relief and a weight at the same time. “It’s been over a half year now.”
Half year. And you had no idea.
You swallowed, trying to push past the sudden rush of emotions you couldn’t quite name. “I’m sorry, Aaron.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be. It was… inevitable.” He leaned back in his chair, running a hand over his face. “We tried. For a long time. But in the end, it just wasn’t working anymore.”
You wanted to ask what had happened. If it had been something specific, or if it had just been one of those things that slowly fell apart over time. But the way he was looking at you—calm, but tired—told you that he had already accepted it.
And maybe that was the hardest part.
“I don’t know what to say,” you admitted, playing with the edge of your sleeve. “I mean… I know it’s not easy.”
Aaron nodded, his gaze dropping to his coffee. “No, it’s not. But it was the right thing.” He exhaled softly, then looked up at you again. “Enough about me. What about you? How’s life?”
You hesitated, not because you didn’t have an answer, but because you weren’t sure what to say. Your life had been full—work, travel, relationships that never seemed to stick—but sitting here with him, all of that seemed distant. Like another version of yourself had lived it.
“I’m good,” you said finally. “Busy, mostly. Traveling a lot for work.”
Aaron smirked. “Still running away from D.C.?”
You rolled your eyes. “I prefer the term ‘exploring my options.’”
That made him chuckle, and for a moment, it felt like nothing had changed. Like you were still the same two people who had spent their high school years hiding out on rooftops and sneaking off to coffee shops to escape reality.
But things had changed.
He wasn’t the same boy you had fallen for all those years ago. And you weren’t the same girl who had spent too many nights wondering if he ever saw you the way you saw him.
Yet, somehow, the thread between you had never truly broken.
Aaron’s expression softened again, and before you could say anything else, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. After a few taps, he turned it toward you, showing you a picture.
A little boy with light hair and bright, curious eyes stared back at you, his smile so familiar it made your chest tighten.
“Is this…?”
“Jack,” Aaron said, and there was something different in his voice now. Something lighter. “He’s four now.”
You felt a smile pull at your lips as you studied the picture. “He’s adorable.”
Aaron chuckled, putting his phone away. “He’s amazing. Smart, stubborn, way too independent for his own good.” He shook his head fondly. “He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”
You watched him for a moment, the way his entire demeanor had changed. Even after everything—the divorce, the exhaustion written in the lines of his face—there was no mistaking the love he had for his son. It was in every word, in every expression.
And something about that made your heart ache even more.
“You’d love him,” Aaron added after a pause, looking at you with something unreadable in his eyes.
You met his gaze, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I’m sure I would.”
Neither of you said anything after that. You just sat there, in a coffee shop that had stayed the same, even when everything else had changed.
And for the first time in years, you let yourself wonder if maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t the end of the story after all.
𐙚
The few days in D.C. passed too quickly.
You and Aaron spent what little time you could together—coffee in the mornings, long conversations that stretched into the evening. It was strange how easily you fell back into each other’s rhythm, like time had never separated you at all.
But reality had a way of creeping back in.
The night before you left, you sat on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, the city lights glowing softly in the distance. Aaron had insisted on walking with you one last time, hands shoved in his pockets, his face unreadable.
“So,” he said after a long silence. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” you echoed, staring out at the reflecting pool.
Neither of you said what you were really thinking. That it wasn’t fair. That fate had brought you back together only to pull you apart again.
Aaron shifted beside you. “I should’ve called you years ago.”
You turned to him, surprised. His gaze was distant, his jaw tight.
“I thought about it,” he admitted, finally looking at you. “So many times. But I kept telling myself it had been too long. That maybe you’d moved on.”
Your heart ached at the confession.
“I would’ve answered,” you said softly.
His lips pressed together, like he wanted to say more but couldn’t bring himself to.
Instead, he reached for your hand, threading his fingers through yours. His grip was warm, solid, grounding.
Maybe, in another lifetime, this moment would’ve been different. Maybe you wouldn’t have had to say goodbye again.
𐙚
The night air was crisp as you stood outside your hotel, your bag resting at your feet. Aaron stood beside you, hands tucked into his coat pockets, the city lights casting a soft glow on his face.
“I feel like I should say something profound,” you said, offering a small, wry smile.
Aaron huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “You don’t have to.”
But there was something in his expression—something unreadable, something hesitant.
You exhaled, rubbing your hands together for warmth. “This was nice. Seeing you again.”
He nodded. “Yeah. It was.”
A beat of silence.
The car that would take you to the airport pulled up to the curb, but neither of you moved.
You looked up at him, and suddenly, the weight of it all settled in your chest. The fact that, after years apart, you had found each other again—only for you to leave. Again.
His gaze softened, and you could feel it—that pull, the invisible string that had always been there between you, stretching taut.
You weren’t sure who moved first, but suddenly, he was closer. The warmth of his body cut through the cold night air, and your breath hitched as his hand barely, barely brushed against yours.
It would be so easy.
So easy to close the space, to lean in, to finally let go of all the years of missed chances and unspoken words.
Your heart pounded as you tilted your chin up ever so slightly, eyes flickering to his lips.
And for a moment, you thought—
But then, just as quickly as the moment came, Aaron took a step back.
His jaw tightened, and his hands curled into fists at his sides. “I should let you go,” he murmured, his voice quieter now.
You swallowed against the lump in your throat. “Yeah.”
The door to the car opened, and you forced yourself to move, to pick up your bag and step away from him.
As you slid into the seat, you risked one last glance at him.
He was still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching you go.
And then the door closed, and you were gone.
𐙚
2009
It was late. Too late for a casual call.
Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, the screen lighting up in the darkness of your hotel room. You were half-asleep, groggy as you reached for it, your brain sluggishly registering the name on the screen.
Aaron.
A strange feeling settled in your stomach as you sat up, clearing your throat before answering.
“Aaron?”
At first, there was nothing. Just silence and the sound of breathing—uneven, shaky.
You frowned, fully awake now. “Aaron? Are you okay?”
Then, finally, his voice. But it was different. Not the steady, composed Aaron Hotchner you had always known. This voice was hollow, cracked at the edges, barely above a whisper.
“She’s gone.”
Two words.
And yet, they carried a weight that nearly stole the breath from your lungs.
Your grip on the phone tightened. “What?”
Aaron inhaled sharply, but it sounded ragged. “Haley,” he murmured. “She’s… she’s gone.”
It hit you like a punch to the chest.
Haley.
You closed your eyes, your heart aching in a way you hadn’t expected. No matter what had happened between them—no matter the divorce, the years, the distance—she had been a part of his life, the mother of his child. And now, she was gone.
“Oh, Aaron…”
He didn’t say anything. And that silence—his silence—was almost worse than if he had broken down.
You could hear it in the way he was breathing, though. The way he was holding himself together by a thread.
“I didn’t know who else to call,” he admitted after a long moment, his voice barely there.
Your heart clenched.
“Aaron,” you said softly, leaning forward, as if that would somehow bring you closer to him. “Where are you?”
“Home.” Another pause. Then, quieter, “Jack is asleep.”
You shut your eyes. The thought of Jack—so small, so young—losing his mother made your chest tighten painfully.
“I’m coming,” you said without hesitation, already pushing the blankets off, already reaching for your suitcase.
Aaron exhaled, and you swore you heard the slightest waver in it.
“Okay,” he murmured.
That was it.
No protest. No telling you that you didn’t have to.
Just okay.
Because right now, he didn’t need distance. He didn’t need space.
He needed you.
And you would be there. Always.
𐙚
The flight to D.C. felt like the longest of your life.
You barely remembered packing. Barely remembered booking the ticket, rushing through the airport, or the restless way your fingers twisted in your lap during the flight. All you could think about was him.
The man who had always been steady, composed, unshakable. The man who, even in his darkest moments, never allowed himself to break.
But tonight, he had called you.
And that told you everything you needed to know.
By the time you arrived at his apartment, it was past midnight. The cab ride had been quiet, the city lights casting long shadows over the streets. When you stepped out in front of the building, you hesitated for just a moment, your heart pounding.
Then you walked inside.
The hallway leading to his door felt endless, every step heavier than the last. When you finally reached it, you took a deep breath and knocked softly.
It only took a few seconds for the door to open.
And the second you saw him, everything inside you shattered.
Aaron looked wrecked.
His shirt was wrinkled, his tie loosened and off-center, like he had pulled at it absentmindedly. His face was pale, his eyes red-rimmed, dark circles beneath them. He looked like a man who had lost something he couldn’t fathom living without.
For a moment, neither of you spoke.
Then, without thinking, without hesitation, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around him.
Aaron didn’t move at first. He just stood there, stiff, like he wasn’t sure how to respond. Like he had forgotten what it meant to be held.
But then, slowly—so slowly—his arms came around you, his grip tightening as if he was afraid you’d slip away.
And that’s when you felt it.
The way his body shook against yours. The way his fingers curled into your jacket like he needed something to hold onto. The way his breath came out in a harsh, uneven exhale against your shoulder.
It was the closest thing to breaking you had ever seen from him.
And it crushed you.
“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your throat tight, your eyes burning.
Aaron didn’t answer. He just held you tighter.
You stayed like that for a long time, standing in the doorway, wrapped in grief and something else—something unspoken, something that had always been there between you.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he pulled back just enough to look at you. His eyes searched yours, something vulnerable in them that you had never seen before.
Then, in a voice so raw it barely sounded like him, he said, “She told me to take care of him.”
You swallowed, your heart aching. “Jack?”
Aaron nodded, blinking rapidly, his jaw tightening as he looked away. “She made me promise.” His voice cracked, and he clenched his fists like he was trying to pull himself back together. “But I don’t—”
He stopped, exhaling sharply. Then, softer, more broken, “I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
You didn’t hesitate.
“You’re not alone.”
Aaron’s gaze snapped back to yours, something unreadable in his eyes.
You reached for his hand, squeezing it. “I promise, Aaron. You’re not alone.”
For a moment, he just looked at you.
And then, finally—finally—he nodded.
And in that moment, something between you shifted.
Maybe it was the grief. Maybe it was the years of missed chances and unspoken words. Or maybe, it was just the simple fact that, no matter how much time passed, you would always find your way back to each other.
Even in the darkest of nights.
Even when the world felt unbearably heavy.
You would always be his person.
And deep down, you knew—he would always be yours.
𐙚
The first week after the funeral, you woke up to the sound of movement.
You rubbed your eyes, adjusting to the dim light filtering through the apartment. It took you a moment to register where you were—on the couch, still wrapped in the blanket from last night.
Then you heard it again. The soft rustling of fabric, the quiet click of a belt buckle.
You sat up immediately, pushing the blanket off as you spotted Aaron standing near the kitchen, already dressed in his suit.
Your stomach dropped.
“You’re going in?” you asked, voice still thick with sleep but laced with disbelief.
Aaron barely glanced at you as he adjusted his tie. “There’s a case.”
You stared at him. “Aaron, no. You just—”
“I can’t sit here,” he interrupted, his voice steady but hollow. “I can’t—” He stopped himself, pressing his lips together tightly before exhaling. “I need to work.”
Your heart clenched.
He was doing what he always did—burying himself in the job, using it as a shield, as something to focus on so he wouldn’t have to sit still and feel.
You stood, walking toward him. “You need more time,” you said softly.
Aaron finally looked at you then, and for the first time since the funeral, there was something sharp in his gaze. Not anger—just exhaustion, frustration.
“I don’t have time,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “Jack needs stability. He needs normalcy. And if I don’t go back, if I don’t move, then—” He cut himself off again, clenching his jaw.
You swallowed hard, reaching out to touch his arm. “He needs you, Aaron. And you’re not ready—”
“I don’t have a choice,” he said quietly.
The weight in his voice made your chest ache.
You wanted to fight him on this. Wanted to tell him that he was being reckless, that he wasn’t a machine, that he needed to grieve before he shattered under the weight of it all.
But you knew Aaron.
You knew that if you pushed too hard, he’d only dig his heels in deeper.
So instead, you took a breath and shifted the conversation. “What about Jack?”
Aaron hesitated. “Jessica can take him for the day,” he said, but it sounded like an afterthought.
You shook your head. “No. Let me stay with him.”
Aaron blinked, clearly caught off guard. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to,” you said gently, giving him a look. “But I want to. He knows me. He’s comfortable with me. Let me be here for him while you—” You sighed, not wanting to finish that sentence.
While you run from your grief.
Aaron was quiet for a long time. His gaze flickered between you and Jack’s bedroom door, the weight of the decision settling over him.
Then, finally, he nodded.
“Okay.”
You let out a quiet breath, relieved that he wasn’t arguing. “Okay,” you echoed.
Aaron glanced at his watch, then back at you. There was something unreadable in his expression, something almost hesitant.
Then, before you could say anything else, he reached out, squeezing your hand briefly.
“Thank you,” he murmured.
And then, just like that, he was gone.
𐙚
Jack woke up about an hour later, padding out of his room in his pajamas, rubbing his eyes.
When he saw you in the kitchen, his tiny brows furrowed. “Where’s Daddy?”
You crouched down to his level, keeping your voice soft. “He had to go to work for a little bit.”
Jack’s lip wobbled slightly, but he didn’t cry. “He was sad yesterday.”
Your heart squeezed.
“I know, buddy,” you murmured, brushing some of his messy hair back. “But he loves you so much. And he’s going to be home soon.”
Jack hesitated, then looked up at you. “Will you stay?”
You smiled gently. “Of course. We’re gonna have a fun day together, okay?”
Jack seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding. Then, in a small voice, he said, “Can we have pancakes?”
You let out a soft laugh. “Absolutely.”
Jack’s face brightened, and for the first time since you arrived, you saw a glimpse of something lighter in his expression.
And in that moment, you knew—no matter what happened, no matter how much Aaron tried to push forward too soon—you’d be here.
For Jack.
For Aaron.
For both of them.
Always.
𐙚
A month passed in the blink of an eye
The apartment was quiet.
Jack had fallen asleep hours ago, curled up in bed after insisting you read him his favorite book one last time before you left.
Now, it was just you and Aaron, sitting on the couch in the dim glow of the living room lamp, nursing cups of tea that had long gone cold.
Neither of you had said much for a while, just sitting in comfortable silence, knowing this was the last night before things changed again.
Aaron sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “It’s going to be strange without you here.”
You smiled slightly. “You’ll manage.”
He huffed a soft laugh. “Somehow.”
A beat of silence.
Then, without really thinking, you murmured, “I’m leaving my job.”
Aaron’s head turned sharply, his brows furrowing. “What?”
You let out a breath, staring down at your mug. “It’s… it became too much,” you admitted. “The hours, the pressure, the constant stress. I used to love it, but now it just feels like I’m running on empty all the time.”
Aaron was quiet, watching you carefully.
You exhaled, shaking your head. “I just… I don’t want my entire life to be about work anymore. I want something simpler. Something where I don’t wake up every morning feeling like I can’t breathe.”
Aaron’s gaze softened, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet. “I get that.”
You looked at him, and for a moment, neither of you said anything.
Because he did get it.
Maybe better than anyone.
You smiled weakly. “I think I’m going to find something small. Something normal. Maybe work in a bookstore or a little office job—something where I can actually live my life instead of just surviving it.”
Aaron nodded slowly, considering your words. “That sounds… nice.”
You huffed a laugh. “You sound surprised.”
His lips twitched. “No. Just… I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what a normal life would look like.”
You tilted your head, studying him. “You ever think about leaving the BAU?”
Aaron hesitated, looking down at his hands. “Sometimes.”
That surprised you. “Really?”
He exhaled. “I love what I do. But… I don’t know. Lately, I’ve started wondering if it’s sustainable. If it’s fair to Jack.”
You nodded, understanding.
Maybe neither of you had ever really stopped long enough to think about what else life could be.
You bit your lip, then nudged his arm lightly. “Maybe we should both find some sleepy little town and open a coffee shop.”
Aaron chuckled. “I’d be terrible at that.”
You smirked. “You’d be the serious owner who glares at customers for taking too long to order, and I’d be the one making sure we don’t get bad Yelp reviews.”
He huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “It’s a solid business model.”
You grinned, but then, after a moment, the smile faded, replaced by something softer. “I mean it, though. You deserve something easier, Aaron.”
His gaze flickered to yours, something unreadable in his expression.
“You do too,” he murmured.
A beat of silence.
Then, before the moment could stretch too long, you sighed, leaning back against the couch. “Well, first things first—I need to figure out what I’m doing next.”
Aaron nodded, but his gaze lingered on you, like he was committing this moment to memory.
Like maybe, for the first time, he was realizing that you wouldn’t always be here.
That tomorrow, you were leaving.
And neither of you knew when you’d be back.
𐙚
The next morning came too quickly.
You woke up before your alarm, the weight of the day pressing down on your chest before you even opened your eyes.
By the time you stepped out of your room, your suitcase already packed and waiting by the door, Aaron was in the kitchen making coffee. Jack sat at the table in his pajamas, sleepily pushing around pieces of cereal in his bowl.
Aaron glanced up when he saw you, his expression unreadable. “Morning.”
You forced a smile. “Morning.”
Jack perked up at your voice, but as soon as he remembered what today was, his little face fell. “You’re leaving.”
Your heart clenched.
You walked over, crouching down beside his chair. “I am, buddy,” you said softly. “But I’m going to come visit. And you can call me whenever you want, okay?”
Jack hesitated, then wrapped his arms around your neck in a tight hug.
You held him close, closing your eyes for a moment, soaking in the warmth of him. “I love you, kiddo,” you murmured.
“Love you too,” he whispered back.
When he finally pulled away, he wiped at his eyes but nodded, like he was trying to be brave. “Okay.”
You gave him one last squeeze before standing up, turning to Aaron.
He was watching you carefully, his hands wrapped around his coffee mug.
“Your flight’s soon,” he said quietly.
You nodded. “Yeah.”
A beat of silence.
Then, Aaron cleared his throat. “I’ll drive you.”
“Aaron—”
“It’s not up for debate,” he said, giving you a look. “Let’s go.”
You sighed, but you didn’t argue.
Jack waved from the door as you left, and you swore you saw his lip wobble, but he stayed put—just like you’d promised, he was strong.
𐙚
The drive to the airport was quiet.
Not uncomfortable. Just… heavy.
Neither of you seemed to know what to say.
When Aaron finally pulled up to the drop-off curb, he put the car in park and exhaled slowly. “You’ll text me when you land?”
You smiled faintly. “Of course.”
He nodded, gripping the steering wheel for a moment before finally turning to you. “You sure about leaving your job?”
You huffed a soft laugh. “I think so.”
Aaron studied you, then—before you could react—reached out, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
The touch was so gentle, so unexpected, that you froze.
His hand lingered for a moment longer than necessary before he pulled away, clearing his throat.
“You’ll be okay,” he murmured.
Your chest ached. “You will too.”
Aaron exhaled, glancing away for a second before looking back at you. “Thank you. For everything.”
You swallowed hard. “You don’t have to thank me, Aaron.”
His jaw tightened, like there was something else he wanted to say.
Something he wouldn’t say.
Instead, he nodded once, his hand twitching slightly like he was debating whether to reach for you again. But he didn’t.
So you did.
You leaned in, wrapping your arms around him.
For a second, Aaron hesitated.
Then he let out a quiet breath and pulled you in, holding you tighter than he probably meant to.
Neither of you moved.
Neither of you spoke.
And for just a moment, the rest of the world didn’t exist.
But then—too soon—it had to.
You pulled back, forcing a small smile. “I’ll see you, okay?”
Aaron nodded, but there was something in his eyes that made it hard to walk away.
Still, you grabbed your suitcase and turned toward the airport entrance.
But just before you stepped inside, you glanced over your shoulder—
And there he was, still sitting in the car, watching you.
Like he wasn’t ready to let you go.
Like maybe, deep down—
He never would be.
𐙚
2011
The bullpen was quiet. Most of the team had already gone home for the night, leaving only the faint hum of computers and the distant murmur of voices from other departments. The dim glow of Aaron Hotchner’s desk lamp illuminated the stacks of paperwork in front of him, but he wasn’t reading them.
His eyes were on the framed picture beside his computer.
It was a simple photo, but one that had somehow found a permanent place in his office. You and Jack, at the park. You were laughing, your head tilted back slightly as Jack clung to your side, his small arms wrapped around yours. It had been taken nearly two years ago, back when you had been staying in D.C. after Haley’s death—back when you had been his anchor without even realizing it.
His fingers traced the edge of the frame absentmindedly.
How had two years passed?
It wasn’t as though he hadn’t thought about you. In fact, that was the problem. He had never stopped thinking about you. It was in the quiet moments, in the spaces between work and home, in the memories that resurfaced when he least expected them.
He thought about you when Jack asked about you.
He thought about you when he reached for his phone late at night, only to stop himself before dialing your number.
He thought about you when he walked past the coffee shop you had loved in D.C., the one where you had made him take a break from his endless case files just to sit with you and drink overpriced lattes.
He thought about you, and every time he convinced himself to push it aside, it always crept back in.
He exhaled sharply, leaning back in his chair. He was being ridiculous. He had no right to feel this way after all this time.
And yet, the ache in his chest told him otherwise.
The knock on his office door pulled him from his thoughts.
“Hotch?”
David Rossi.
Aaron straightened slightly, clearing his throat as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t. “Yeah?”
Rossi stepped inside without waiting for an invitation, closing the door behind him. His eyes flickered to the framed picture on the desk before settling on Aaron.
“You’re thinking about her again,” Rossi stated, not even posing it as a question.
Aaron’s jaw tensed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Rossi scoffed, dropping into the chair across from him. “Please. I’ve been doing this job long enough to know when someone’s got something—or someone—on their mind.” He nodded toward the picture. “And you? You’ve been staring at that damn thing for the past twenty minutes.”
Aaron glanced at the photo again, feeling a tightness in his chest.
“I wasn’t—” He started to deny it, but Rossi’s knowing look stopped him.
“You miss her.”
It wasn’t a question.
Aaron inhaled deeply, pressing his lips together before finally exhaling. “…Yeah.” His voice was quiet, almost hesitant. “I do.”
Rossi leaned forward slightly. “Then what the hell are you still doing here?”
Aaron frowned. “What?”
Rossi sighed, shaking his head. “Hotch, you’re one of the smartest men I know, but when it comes to your own feelings, you are clueless.” He pointed at him. “She left, and you let her go. But if you think she’s just gone from your life, then you’re fooling yourself.”
Aaron looked away, running a hand through his hair. “She moved on. She’s in New York, she has her own life now. I can’t just show up and—”
Rossi interrupted. “Why not?”
Aaron looked back at him.
Rossi’s expression softened slightly. “Tell me something. If you called her right now—if you told her you wanted to see her—do you really think she’d say no?”
Aaron opened his mouth, then closed it.
Because the truth was—he didn’t know.
He had spent so long convincing himself that he had no right to ask for more, that he had never even considered the possibility that you might have been waiting for him to say something.
Rossi sighed again. “Look, kid. Life doesn’t wait for you to figure things out. It moves on, whether you’re ready or not. And if you sit here for another two years convincing yourself you missed your chance, you’re going to wake up one day and realize that she really is gone.”
Aaron swallowed hard, his chest tightening at the thought.
“She’s still out there, Hotch,” Rossi said, his voice quieter now. “And something tells me she hasn’t stopped thinking about you either.”
Aaron’s fingers tightened around the frame in his hands.
“Go to her,” Rossi said simply. “Before it’s too late.”
For a long moment, Aaron didn’t say anything.
Rossi didn’t push. He just stood up, clapped Aaron on the shoulder, and left the office.
Aaron remained still, staring down at the picture again.
Go to her.
Before it’s too late.
The words echoed in his mind long after Rossi was gone.
And for the first time in nearly two years, Aaron wondered if maybe, just maybe, he still had a chance.
𐙚
The streets of New York were loud, alive with their usual rhythm—cars honking, people moving past each other in hurried steps, conversations blending into the background hum of the city. But Aaron barely noticed any of it.
His heart was pounding, his palms slightly clammy despite the cold air.
He had spent the entire flight convincing himself he was making a mistake. That he had no right to do this. That you had probably moved on, that maybe you had someone else now, that showing up like this was selfish.
But then, he had thought about what Rossi had said.
Before it’s too late.
And now he was standing in front of your coffee shop, staring through the large glass windows, his breath fogging slightly against the cold air.
There you were.
Moving behind the counter, your face lit up in a laugh as you spoke to a customer. You looked happy. Comfortable. Like you belonged here.
For a moment, he thought about walking away.
But then, as if sensing him, you turned toward the window.
And your eyes met his.
Your laughter faded, your lips parting slightly in surprise.
Aaron felt frozen in place, his breath caught in his chest as he saw the realization dawn in your expression.
Then, slowly, you stepped out from behind the counter and made your way toward the door.
The bell above the entrance chimed softly as you pushed it open, stepping outside onto the sidewalk, arms wrapped around yourself against the cold.
“Aaron?” Your voice was breathless, as if you couldn’t quite believe he was standing in front of you.
He swallowed hard, his voice rough when he finally spoke. “Hey.”
There was a beat of silence, the city moving around you, but in that moment, it felt like the world had narrowed to just the two of you.
“What are you doing here?” you asked softly.
Aaron took a shaky breath. “I needed to see you.”
Your brows furrowed slightly, confusion flickering across your face. “After almost two years?”
“I know,” he admitted. “I know it’s been too long. And I should have come sooner. I should have said something sooner.” His throat tightened as he looked at you. “But I was afraid.”
You exhaled softly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Afraid of what?”
His lips pressed together for a moment before he met your gaze again. “Afraid of losing you. Afraid that if I told you how I felt, I’d ruin everything.”
You stared at him, your breath catching. “Aaron…”
But he kept going, his voice raw, unguarded in a way he had never allowed himself to be before.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he admitted. “Not after you left. Not after any of it. I tried. I told myself I had to let you go. That you had your own life now, and I had mine. But every time I thought I had moved on, I’d hear your voice in my head. I’d see something that reminded me of you, or Jack would ask about you, and it was like—” He let out a shaky breath. “It was like I was still reaching for something that was already gone.”
You swallowed, your eyes shining as you listened.
Aaron took a step closer, his voice lower now. “And then Rossi—he told me I needed to stop running from it. That I needed to come here before it was too late.” He exhaled, his eyes searching yours. “And he was right.”
You blinked up at him, your breath shallow.
Aaron hesitated for only a second before he took your hands in his, his grip warm, grounding.
“I love you,” he said, the words breaking free like a confession he had held back for too many years. “I’ve loved you for longer than I ever admitted to myself. And I’m done pretending I don’t.”
You let out a shaky breath, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it.
For so long, you had wanted to hear those words. You had dreamed about this moment, imagined it in so many different ways. But now, standing here, with the weight of his confession settling between you, you realized something—
You had never imagined this.
The way his voice trembled with emotion. The way his eyes looked at you, full of something deep and unshakable. The way the city buzzed around you, but it felt like there was no one else in the world.
You felt tears welling in your eyes as you exhaled a quiet laugh, almost disbelieving. “You really came all this way… just to tell me that?”
Aaron smiled, just barely, but his voice was still raw with honesty. “Yeah. I did.”
Your lips parted slightly, your chest tightening with so much emotion you could barely breathe.
And then—
You didn’t think. You just moved.
You reached up, grabbing the collar of his coat, and pulled him down to you.
Aaron barely had time to react before your lips were on his, soft but urgent, years of unspoken words and unsaid feelings pouring into the kiss.
He inhaled sharply, his hands tightening on your waist as he pulled you closer, his body instinctively leaning into yours.
And then—
The memory hit.
The prom.
The slow song, the way your hands had rested on his shoulders, the warmth of his hands on your waist. The way the world had faded until it was just the two of you, swaying gently, the room spinning in a blur of lights.
And the kiss.
The way it had been tentative, hesitant, the taste of something new and terrifying. The way neither of you had spoken about it afterward, too afraid of what it might mean.
Now, years later, the kiss was no longer hesitant. It was deep, full, a promise of everything that had been left unsaid for too long.
When you finally pulled away, both of you breathless, your forehead rested against his.
Aaron let out a soft, shaky laugh. “That was—”
“Long overdue?” you finished for him, smiling softly.
He chuckled, his fingers brushing against your jaw. “Yeah.”
You exhaled, your voice quieter now. “I waited for you, you know.”
Aaron’s throat tightened. “I know.” His hands cupped your face, his thumb brushing gently over your cheek. “And I’m so sorry I made you wait this long.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, just letting yourself feel the warmth of his touch, the way his breath mixed with yours in the cold air.
Then you looked at him again, your voice steady, certain.
“You’re here now.”
Aaron nodded, his lips curving into the softest smile. “I am.”
And this time, there was no doubt.
No hesitation.
No going back.
Just the two of you, standing in the middle of a busy New York street, finally getting it right.
Finally finding your way back to each other.
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dollypopup · 3 days ago
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all the people up in arms going 'he looks so miserable!' and 'he doesn't look loved up at all!' like. . .hm, could it be possible that it's because. . .attending fashion events. . .is a job? what's with the 'give us a smile, sweetheart!' weirdness from these 'fans'? didn't we decide ages ago we HATE that? if I was at work and people were ripping me to pieces because I'm not smiling, I'd be pissed off. the man has been given grief from a fandom that undoubtedly DOES make him miserable for months on months and shows up to an event with a girlfriend y'all have known about for a YEAR and hated on for almost exactly that amount of time and you're surprised he's. . .what? not grinning ear to ear? the man takes a lot of photos where he's doing a blue steel fashion face, what's the hangup? y'all are just digging for justification for your own negativity.
and as far as Antonia goes, it's like every time it's a surprise. the people saying 'oh it's lame he only showed up with her after NICOLA paved the way!' . . .paved the way of what? Luke was photographed with Antonia in June of last year? Why are y'all always shocked pikachu face about her? Nic reiterating they're friends (as they both said during the tour repeatedly) in a pre-taped interview doesn't mean he then was like 'oh, okay! now i can be with my gf!' he's BEEN with her. he was papped with her a year ago, he's taken her on vacations, dates, and other events. what do y'all MEAN this is the 'hard launch'? we've all known?
stop convincing yourselves into delusions and just face the facts. the reality is- I DO think it's okay to say 'I'm a fan of Nic and Luke's dynamic and their public personas so I ship them' but that also means taking the responsibility of 'endgame' or 'canon' (gross, these are real people, not characters) off their shoulders and out of your expectations. they have partners. ship their personas all you want, live in the fantasy, sometimes it's fun, but stop spiraling and spinning new webs of lies to live in claiming it's reality. and then blaming these strangers for not living up to your mental gymnastic fanfictions. it's unhealthy.
do I think he looks miserable? no. In some pics, I think he looks like someone protective of his partner who has been harassed, and wary, since his previous partner has ALSO been harassed. But overall I think he looks hot as hell. nothing is screaming that he's upset. he's got some smirky smirk pics and moments, she's pictured smiling in the video. what's the big deal? if you feel dumb, it's because YOU made yourself fall for lies.
and a big genuine SHAME ON YOU to all the big Lukola blogs who continue spouting garbage encouraging vulnerable people to believe false narrative. fuck you to the tarot blogs, fuck you to the people doing 'morsels' or 'crumbs' analysis, and a huge hearty fuck you to the people pushing the awful lie of Nicola being pregnant by hyperanalyzing her body. y'all need to eat some crow and admit you were wrong and apologize to your audiences, because fuck that noise.
anywhoozle, I'll be over here lapping up all these new pics because my man looks GOOOOODT and that's more than enough for me
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skiagraphe0 · 2 days ago
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I know exactly where it comes from: the idea all adults are evil predators who can only be in fandom spaces because they want to prey on kids. For years, people have been freaking out about adults being in the same Discord as a minor (gasp!) even though the server's topic is Animal Crossing, or been freaked out teenagers are on Reddit where adults are even though the only subreddits they have in common is r/watercolor. "Be afraid!" people scream, eyes wide in fear, "I heard a grown-up might be there and they'll unalive you or grap3 you!"
It used to be - and definitely was when I was growing up - that an adult speaking to a minor was not considered a massive risk. Adults were not seen as suspicious in hobby spaces, because it was understood that adulthood didn't mean giving up everything you'd ever liked. As the moral panic got worse, however, a sinister motive was assigned to pretty much everything. You're an adult, but you read books? Uh, books are sold at stores, and minors go to stores! You're an adult, but you play video games? Uh, minors also play games! You write fic and post it to the internet? Uh, don't you know minors are online? You're so scary!
There's also this idea a lot of Gen Z kids have that adulthood = the death of joy. When I got my master's degree, I was in classes with 18-24 year olds who were absolutely stunned that I still watch anime, play video games, read books, sew, draw, write fanfic, listen to pop music, etc. It was very odd, explaining to them that I just never thought of not doing things I like. I could tell this explanation was both confusing to them and made perfect sense. They had been told you become a husk at 30 and simply work, poop, sleep, and then one day die. They could also piece together that it wasn't logical for me to stop listening to music and drawing because I'd hit an age.
"But you're not weird about it, right?" was a question I got, often said with genuine anxiety. I would furrow my brow, confused, and ask, "I'm not sure what a 'weird' way to listen to music is? Or how to be weird about playing a game? I guess I don't, like, make room for Jesus when I make my Animal Crossing island or anything."
My dad is 84 and reads Star Trek fanfic/keeps up with the new shows.
My neighbor is 54 and loves Disney and is helping sew cosplays for her granddaughter/teaching her granddaughter how to sew.
The manager at my local Joann Fabrics is 60 and she just did her first cosplay.
Animator/artist/illustrator Tyrus Wong was still drawing and working on concept art for an idea to pitch when he died at 105.
The notion that adulthood means being miserable and sobbing in corner somewhere (if male) or tending to children (if female) and nothing else until you die is extremely recent. It's not supported by basically anything other than their own anxiety about anyone older than then being nearby. But the thing they don't seem to grasp is that their fear about someone posting someone or reading something isn't what anyone else is going to base their lives on.
If it scares you that someone has a hobby past the age you think that should be allowed, I'm sorry for you. That genuinely sounds like a lot of anxiety. Your life sounds really hard and really miserable.
But you're not my patient and I'm not a therapist. I can't help you. I can pray you get better, but that's it.
I'm not going anywhere. Neither are most people - if anything, fandom going more mainstream means we're going to see an increasingly higher number of adults getting into it, at the same time as kids into it age into being an adult.
If adults scare you, fandom isn't the hobby for you.
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Fandom Problem #7211:
As someone who's almost 30, I legitimately do not understand why people on this site treat you like you're totally geriatric and incapable of having hobbies or interests. It's always "lol this person is THIRTY, they must have no life!!". I find age is weaponized most of all with censorship advocates who go, "imagine being 30 and still shipping characters on TUMBLR 💀".
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lego-monkie-enjoyer · 1 day ago
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So I've had a Shadowpeach proposal idea swimming around in my head for a while, and I felt like I just NEEDED to get it out there...
Obviously, by this point, Macaque is more than okay with being around Wukong. They've hung out as more than friends before this, but little does he know, this time is different.
Now I haven't thought of any of the minor details, but what if Macaque wakes up one day and finds a messily-scrawled note from Wukong that basically says "MEET ME AT THUH TOP OF FLOWR FRUT MOUNTIN AT 7", and Macaque chuckles, as he's grown fond of decoding Wukong-ese.
He does his usual stuff, sitting around watching musicals, writing new scripts for plays, maybe a bit of shopping at the local farmer's market, YADAYADAYADA
SO BASICALLY MACAQUE GOES TO FFM AFTER A DAY FULL OF WONDERING WTF HIS FAVORITE DORK IS UP TO, AND WHEN HE GETS THERE, HE'S LIKE WTF BECAUSE there's little fairy lights strung up around a lump-
Are those pillows and blankets…? His ears twitch, and he hears someone approach from behind. It's Wukong.
Wukong's like "Dang, I didn't think you would show up, BUT YIPPEE, anyway-"
They eat dinner (Wukong just picked up noodles from Pigsy's because he's cheap they're Macaque's favorite)
And by the time they're done eating and laughing about stupid shit, the sun has long since set, and the stars are out.
Something, something, they're laying down, and Wukong looks up at the moon, and then at Macaque, his moon HEHEHEHE
Then he asks Macaque what he thinks about the idea of spending eternity with someone…
Macaque thinks Wukong is fucking with him, so he huffs out a laugh and rolls over to face Wukong, ready to snap back with one of his famous snarky remarks, but-
But Wukong is looking at him with such love and sincerity, that he literally has to bite his tongue and do a double-take because what the fuck is going on? Is he dreaming? No… it hurt when he bit himself… What-?
Macaque thinks… and thinks some more… and finally…
"I wouldn't mind if my eternity was spent with yours…"
Wukong looks at him, smiling with tears in his eyes, and pulls an immortal peach out from under one of the blankets and Macaque's eyes go WIDE AS HE'S STILL PROCESSING THE WORDS THAT JUST CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH.
And
And
And then
HEHEHEHE
Wukong takes a bite of the peach, and for a second, Macaque gives him a 'what the fuck' look, because he's already immortal a bajillion times over, why does he need- Oh…
Wukong is kissing him… With the piece of peach still in his mouth… He wants Macaque to take it from him…
ERM… SO I'VE NEVER BEEN GOOD AT ENDINGS, AND I THINK IT'S REALLY COOL WHEN FIC AUTHORS LET THE READERS DECIDE HOW IT ENDS (Totally not because I genuinely don't know how to end this, or anything...)
SO
SO
EHEHEHE
WHAT THE SIGMA
ANYWAY, I'M STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE PEACH TRANSFER IDEA, THAT'S LITERALLY SO GAY WHAT THE FUCK WAS I ON?? 😭😭😭
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blazeshardcat · 16 hours ago
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one of the things that always gets me with merlin is how the show handles the concept of self-sacrifice/trust...
i think of the consequences of lancelot's sacrifice- it denied merlin the only friend that knew about his magic (gaius was more of a father figure), and i think that loss was one of the biggest factors in how sad and worn-down merlin gets in S4-5. it also denied gwen the chance to choose her partner, not to mention how lancelot decided to "sacrifice" his chances with her for arthur's sake well before his actual death.
there's balinor, who never went back for hunith. he had reasons to be concerned for her safety, but hunith knew the risks when she first housed him- wouldn't she want to know he was alive, even with the danger? it's another example of how this kind of emotional martyrdom denies their loved ones the choice to share their risks and burdens.
there's arthur. born into royalty, he was awarded many luxuries, but still denied the chance to safely choose whether or not he wanted to be king. so he makes the sacrifices leaders do, unable to make friends and love without the watchful eyes of the court & the constant threat of betrayal- after all, that's what kings do, right? in uther's words, a king must rule alone.
and of course, that leads us to merlin himself. he sacrificed everything for arthur- a chance for other magic-users to be free, a better position than a manservant, a home that wouldn't burn him for his gifts, and a million smaller pieces of joy he denied himself along the way. but what was it for? after everything, arthur still died, and it's unlikely magic returned either.
like all the other instances of self-sacrifice in this show, merlin had valid reasons- he loved arthur, and the prophecy gave him the purpose he'd been seeking his entire life, but he never confided about his magic due to incredibly real fears of execution or exile. so he chose to burn himself in silence, rather than risk arthur's feelings.
yet that's the thing about arthur- he doesn't destroy himself completely for the sake of camelot, doesn't follow uther's advice to he bone. he DOES learn to be better, to judge people based on their actions instead of labels, and to keep people he genuinely loves near him. i think arthur positively changes the most of anyone in the show, and it's largely because he actually opened up when merlin provided opportunities to do so. he didn't simply accept that a prince should suffer in silence, but learned to share his emotional burdens, which is why he got closer with many characters over time.
it's merlin that keeps himself closed off, locks everything away because he thinks it'll keep arthur safe & happy. it's the choices merlin makes at his most isolated that doom arthur in the end.
that's what i think the ending is trying to say.
to save someone, it's not enough to sacrifice yourself, to choose them over your well-being every time as it quietly kills you. because if you love someone enough to die for them, you should take a chance. do the scary work of being honest, and brave the uncertainty that follows. you've got a lot of good reasons for staying silent, but if they're worth dying for, they should get a say in it, too.
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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 5 months ago
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Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet
Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)
Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked
#these just sum up my personal takes at the years in question and also what i'm seeing on tumblr/other social media#bbc sherlock#sherlock holmes#and i actually have a lot more thoughts to share on this series#specifically relating to the cultural impact#there is SO much about the show that goes unappreciated in hindsight because of how public perception of it has soured#and i totally fell into this as well--i still regularly rewatch hbomberguy's video absolutely dismantling the series and he isn't wrong!!#but what i'm saying is that i think it's easy for us to look at a piece of media (especially one so massively popular) like sherlock...#with very black-and-white lenses. it wouldn't have become so popular if there wasn't something inherent in it that resonated with people#and that's being buried (and i totally forgot it) because 'sherlock is cringe and problematic. can't believe i liked that'#which again it IS full of issues and those are well-documented as they should be. future portrayals should not repeat those mistakes#BUT being able to impact so many people is a merit in itself. and that's only possible because of other genuinely good things about the show#yes the way they handled the relationship between john and sherlock was riddled with problems YES it was often queerbaiting#AND the way they portrayed that relationship had a deep effect on me. i saw a lot of myself in sherlock and the complex way he loved john#the nuanced feelings he had about john's marriage to mary. the part (in s4!) where john calls him inhuman for not feeling romantic love#there was genuine intention and care put into some parts of this show and it comes through in scenes like those. they impact people.#and because of this realization i'm going to (eventually) do a rewatch of the show. i'm much older and i want to see how i'll view it now#but i want to go into it--and i want everyone who engages with it still--to have an open mind and evaluate it for what it is#not what we expected it to be (secret episode anyone?) or what the cultural drift has turned it into (the tiktok of sherlock's mind palace)#but the messy problematic somewhat-heartfelt massively significant and ultimately meaningful piece of media it actually was#anyway that's my thoughts would love to hear y'all's perspectives#funny how after all this time making a sherlock post still feels like i'm poking a bees' nest lol please be kind!#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags
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gingermintpepper · 5 months ago
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I saw it in your tag game post that you're also fond of the Apollo-Heracles conflict 👀 for a myth that appears in only a couple of sources, it sure has a lot of presence in the vase paintings (no seriously, everytime I think I've seen the last of it, I find ten more)
SO do you have any favorites among the paintings that represent this story??
OMG OMG THIS ASK IS A GIFT. IT IS A GIFT THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR LETTING ME TALK ABOUT THIS
I also think it's extremely interesting that it's a story so popularly portrayed by vase paintings and in such a variety of ways!! It's certainly one of the stories that gets left out of written compilation of Heracles' legend a bit (which is a shame, I think it's a fantastic story) but Apollo had a very peculiar relationship with Heracles in general that I just kind of find amazing (and very, very funny).
Apollo is not a god with any legitimate grudge against Heracles, but he does argue with the mortal a bit like he argues with his favourite brothers 😂Part of why I love the story of Apollo and Heracles fighting over the tripod so much is that it is such a little brother thing for Heracles to be upset with the proclamation his elder brother has given him and so, he throws a great fit, taking up the chair and declaring that he'll just give himself a better prophecy! And Apollo, instead of being a marginally professional big brother, decides to fight him for it until their father has to break up their cat-fight. Like was that not just the plot of the Homeric Hymn to Hermes? Is this not exactly how Apollo treated Hermes when he was a child and now those two are inseparable? 💀
Because of this, my favourite vase paintings tend to be the ones that highlight the personal squabbling between Apollo and Heracles the most. There are some very elaborate ones that have the full host of them - Athena, Heracles, Apollo, Artemis, usually a dog and a doe, I've even seen a couple that had birds and plants etched on them, but the simplest ones that show Heracles about to bonk Apollo with his club out of frustration or depict Heracles nyooming away from Apollo while Apollo (presumably) yells curses about how he's going to fling Heracles head first into Tartarus for daring to take his things? Yeah, those are the premium big brother/little brother things I'm looking for.
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(Photo. Marie-Lan Ngyuen)
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(Photo. Museo Claudio Faina)
Also the one in the Theoi.com archives is a real classic - perfect energy.
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#ginger answers asks#Thank you SO much for letting me talk about this even a little it always makes me smile#Despite their disputes - if you ask me Apollo was quite fond of Heracles#And I think a big part of why I ultimately come to that conclusion is that Apollo never hinders Heracles or withholds blessings from him#He simply calls him a bitch every time he sees him and then makes his life marginally more inconvenient#like any good older brother let's be so fr#It's extremely charming to see him so playful with a mortal he's not in love with/that is not his son#Other moments of Apollo teasing Heracles includes him trying to convince Artemis not to let Heracles catch her doe when he comes#to fulfill that particular labour (again he doesn't actually try to stop it he just puts up a bit of a fuss about it)#and perhaps another of my all time favourites#Personally luring Heracles into Admetus' house so Heracles can wrestle Thanatos while Apollo rescues Alcestis#I DO NOT KNOW WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE LUNACY OF APOLLO'S ADMETUS/ALCESTIS PRESERVATION PLAN#He really said “No yeah I know a guy don't worry about Death Incarnate” and then Heracles shows up at Admetus' door like this is a sitcom#The laugh track that plays in my mind every time Admetus opens that door sees Heracles and then looks back at the disguised Apollo like#'HIM?? HERACLES?? Heracles who can break me in seven pieces with a thought Heracles???'#And Apollo just gives him a thumbs up and says “feed him well pookie <33”#Genuinely some of the funniest shit I have the pleasure of reading in greek myth#Another reason I don't think Apollo has any ill will against Heracles though is how Apollo reacts when Heracles#loses Hylas in the Argonautica#Or well some versions of the Argonautica - this is also a story that changes wildly depending on the source/compilation#But Apollo is incredibly sympathetic to Heracles' sorrow and kind of decides there and then that Heracles losing one love#should be the return of another and asks that Zeus let Heracles free Prometheus when he makes his descent into the underworld#Similarly it is Apollo who anoints Alcaeus/Alcides the name Heracles (also dependent on the myth source)#They just had a very fun relationship and it's a serious shame that it's not acknowledged more#apollo#heracles#greek mythology#(Also people do not talk about the fact that Apollo grappled with Heracles to a standstill enough actually)
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crystalpallette · 4 months ago
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I finally got a full lineup of these losers(affectionate)
(a ppq fanseries of mine, the royal advisors)
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black-and-yellow · 1 year ago
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Day 2 of Buggy posting :/
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incorrectsibunaquotes · 7 months ago
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lmk why i’ve allowed myself to work myself into an emotional wreck over the denby sisters. they were sisters, man… idk
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I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
#thoughts#oni talks#mean girls 2024#I think I may be the only person to kind of like it? like don’t get me wrong it is kinda ROUGH but it has so much potential and there’s bits#and pieces that I actually really enjoy or wish they had more of or just aahh#I’ve been nonstop thinking about the ideal version in my head like there’s so much potential obviously I’m biased by like a lot#since for one I know I tend to like stuff other people hate or don’t like but for two this sequel was weirdly way more relatable so maybe#I’m just projecting from my own personal experiences but Idc the POTENTIAL THERES SO MUCH ID WANNA DO INSTEAD#like there’s so many little details and characterizations that I wish was expanded on or fleshed out and it’s just like it feels like either#half baked or that it’s gone through too many edits it’s like it’s scared to exist?? like there’s some differences I love and wish they lol#leaned into but it’s like it was terrified to be too different? or like they were rushing the end especially#like in my ideal form it’s a tv show coz I think they honestly have enough that could be genuinely expanded in a way more interesting way#via that format probably not like a super extended series like you COULD but you’d definitely need more expansion but I could see the potent#but like idk one SOLID musical season with expanded character story and not like one of those rush cram shows like a good solid one#like Regina’s characterization is so fascinating but also feels like slightly off and like they could’ve leaned way more into things?#like I think keeping Regina as a closeted lesbian gives the greatest potential and interest for an expanded story#like I loved maybe the first half of the movie the most like that one song she sang to manipulate Aaron would work so much more perfectly if#she’s singing it about/to Cady? I also think in my ideal brain an cool flashback episode for Janis and Regina would be so cool coz there’s#so much you could flesh out in a flashback than you could in a retelling which while I do like the retelling since it lets you imagine thing#I just! potential! I also want more of them interacting and I do think changing Janis to be a lesbian works if they leaned more into it?#I also think in my ideal form janis would have more comeuppance or acknowledgement of her shit? I also think an arc of Regina coming out#like one thing they missed from the original is Regina playing soccer at the end & I think they could hint more towards that and maybe lean#more into her at home life in an expanded story way coz her mom is clearly like… yikes. granted maybe some of my views on the movie are too#biased by personal experience but like the way she snaps at her mom usually in my experience isn’t out of nowhere? like parents behind#closed doors. or frustrations with what her mom has clearly been putting on her the way she tells her mom not to talk about her body is very#like idk a lot of the characters in this version feel more real to me bc they act really similar to people I know irl so the expanded story#could be cool. another one that in my ideal brain would have more is Gretchen and especially her relationships with Regina as well as with#that one guy and her parents I wanna see more of how that works and her arc to feel more meaningful when she dumps him & mentions family#also as much as I didn’t care much for the straight plot stuff there’s 100% missed potential there that I could see in the differences like#iirc in the original it’s regular algebra not AP calc which I think could’ve been used as an interesting characterization opportunity for
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jackass-jones · 3 months ago
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Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*
#the klock keeps ticking#oh dude we’re so back oh its so back#how am i supposed to live my life after this how am i supposed to go on#its funny cuz ive seen this damn show actually a thousand times i know it forward and backwards#and i dont really cry ever in general and ive become so familiar with falsettos that i dont cry anymore#but it still has the ability to destroy some deep part of me every single time in a new way#I will stay firm in my belief that its the greatest piece of media ever made#if i ever get to see falsettos on broadway (pipe dream ik) like#thatd be it for me man like how the hell are you supposed to leave and drive home after that akdnsk#i cant remember the last time i watched either i think it mightve been like. when i first moved into my old apartment 😳#and ive gone through quite a bit of shit since then and im smarter. i think#so yeah it hit me very hard this time i always stick to something different#im very much wrecked about this fucking family lets just say that#lets just say ‘shes cooked for some 200 guests i know we’re not that many actually we’re 7’#really hit different this time KID DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I AM#DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE LOOKS LIKE MARVIN#so so good so lovingly written and performed so real and beautiful and tragic FUCKKKK#yeah basically prepare for me to write like 50 essays for a few days about all the characters every song every lyric every sound yeah#falsettos is probably deadass the reason im like this it shaped me so much#just like. the ending of tragedy that was so unexpected and unfair#and it looks at the fucking homophobic shits who preached all about this being just desserts for the perverted behavior#and it says ‘this man could’ve kept that unhappy heterosexual life and avoided all of this but he chose the one that killed him because#it made him feel like himself it made him happy despite how brief it was and hed choose this route in every universe’#just a piece of art that is so true to queerness i dont think anything else has instilled a sense of pride in me like falsettos has#the tight knit family marvin tries so hard to keep together is falling apart worse and worse with each attempt#but once marvin is happy and loves himself and is loved by others the family ends up growing and sticking together naturally#aaughhh yeah ahahaha yeah man everyone please love your friends so genuinely love yourself and keep going 🥰
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gynaiko · 4 months ago
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ㅤㅤㅤSTELLA   IS   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   AT   ALL;   QUITE   NEGLECTFUL,   ACTUALLY.   THE   KIND   TO   SAY   ‘THAT’S   NICE,   DEAR’   WHILE   NOT   EVEN   LOOKING   AT   VIA.   HOWEVER,   I   DON’T   SUBSCRIBE   TO   FANON’S   GENERAL   INTERPRETATION   WHERE   SHE’S   APPARENTLY   WILLING   TO   KILL   HER   JUST   TO   SPITE   STOLAS.   WE   STILL   HAVEN’T   SEEN   HER   INTERACT   WITH   OCTAVIA   BUT   IF   SHE   TRULY   HATED   HER,   SHE   WOULD   HAVE   THROWN   A   FIT   WHEN   ANDRE   POINTED   OUT   VIA   WOULD   GET   EVERYTHING,
ㅤㅤㅤ&   WHEN   SHE   WAS   SCREECHING   AT   STOLAS,   ASKING   IF   HE   WAS   ‘TURNING   HER   ( VIA )   AGAINST   HER   ( STELLA )’   —   CLEARLY,   SHE   CARES   FOR   VIA.   AGAIN,   SHE’S   NOT   A   GOOD   MOTHER,   PERHAPS   NOT   CODDLING   OR   ‘MOTHERLY’   BUT   ENOUGH   THAT   VIA   HAS   GOOD   MEMORIES   OF   HER   ( PER   THE   LOO   LOO   LAND   EPISODE ),
ㅤㅤㅤREAD   THE   TAGS   FOR   MY   TINFOIL   HAT   RAMBLINGS ,
#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗨𝗦𝗘⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖎.⠀stella#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗠𝗢𝗗⠀જ⠀𝖎.⠀out of#⠀⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .⠀𖥔⠀𝗜𝗖⠀જ⠀𝖎𝖛.⠀introspec#ㅤif you know me at all & how i approach my muses; i am canon's bitch albeit i go all out - call me Sherlock. i don't like to defy what we..#ㅤhave so much as i like to rearrange the pieces; if you knew me when i rped Celes / Seras from Hellsing then YOU KNOW what the fuck...#ㅤi'm talking about. TECHNICALLY - when thinking on Stella i'm going by not only what we have seen but the tweets Georgina Leahy made a...#ㅤa while back ( i believe before the Oz episode iirc ) on how Stella is 'complicated & hearbroken' ( something to that effect ) & i...#ㅤ100% Stella was dumbed down + retconned; we even see it in the beatboards for the Loo Loo ep. she looks HAPPY in the family photograph...#ㅤversus the now canon one we got where she has her arms crossed; Via didn't say what she said because she was lying; it's because Stella...#ㅤ& Stolas WERE supposed to get along ( personally i DO believe she was supposed to be in love with him but i don't write it as such )...#ㅤ+ one of the images from a former spindlehorse employee have Stella & Stolas looking cutesy ( very Gomez / Morticia vibes even ). Y'ALL...#ㅤi'm just tired ngl; no hate but i just DO NOT CARE for canon!Stella. i don't necessarily hate her but she is so uninteresting & boring...#ㅤher constant screeching sends me 😂 BUT ANYWAY yeah i was thinking about it the other day & there's SO MUCH i want to get into with...#ㅤStella; i aim to still portray her more or less as Stella from the show ( in a sense ) - she still screeches & such but it just takes a...#ㅤlot longer for her to get to that point & only Stolas knows how to push those buttons. PERSONAL THEORY? not personal preference BUT my...#ㅤhunch is that she was supposed to be 'love' Stolas ( how much is debatable but she was at least cooperative enough for the wealth )#ㅤuntil Viv changed her mind for the billionth time & decided to make her lame. also ngl... i'm dumb because i didn't catch on to the fact..#ㅤthat Stella was supposed to be a swan at first; i genuinely thought she was a pigeon?? Viv why the fucking white on white; WHY. arrghh...#ㅤbring back green!Stella i'm begging you... OKAY RANT / TIN FOIL HAT OFF <3 had to purge the spitballs within my head ( i'm trying to...#ㅤstall in packing for tomorrow asdklhadsf i don't wanna )
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dashiellqvverty · 8 months ago
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my opinion on season 11 is that ian and mickey were all over the place from episode to episode and i ultimately wasn’t very happy with where it ended for them
#just felt kind of incomplete and boring in terms of their getting an apartment arc#like mickey was still genuinely very unhappy about it and they just left it like that?#and obviously i didn’t love how they did the terry stuff.#i think. there’s something to it because you can never truly predict how you’re gonna feel about something like that#even if it’s a piece of shit who you truly hate like. feelings happen.#and that could have been interesting to explore but it wasn’t done in a way that felt interesting#it just felt like a waste of time when we could’ve been doing other stuff with their screentime#and the beginning was so good i was having sooo much fun when ian was like yeah let’s steal an ambulance and yes we can have guns again.#let’s fuck in the ambulance. etc.#that was so hot and then they ruined it both in that scene that i wanted to SEE and with where they took the story after#like how quickly ian jumps back to ‘well we won’t do crimes then :)’ i thought he was having FUN doing crimes#like are they still doing their security shit? are they still working with stolen equipment?? i want them to do crimes :(#(when i lay it all out like that i’m like perhaps ‘ian being exited about doing crimes’ is not a Good Sign for him. but#it really wasn’t presented that way in context. like i don’t think that’s what they were going for there#and he can be doing better and still have fun doing stupid shit#a la their little outing before he got arrested by the military#yes that was like. 5 years earlier but i’m still like what happened to THAT ian he got boring#and i’m not saying like. him being healthy is boring. i’m saying let him be healthy and also have fun.#anyway.)#also like. signing a lease on the spot against mickeys wishes. kind of fucking impulsive and reckless. but no it’s bc he wants#to have a better life or whatever so it’s fine.#idk i just want to see them steal shit and fuck in an ambulance#and i mean like OVERALL ian has not been as much of a Crime Guy as others. certainly not compared to mickey#like he’s DONE crimes obviously but not in a. it’s his lifestyle way. i guess?#so idk why i’m like i want him to go BACK to that if that wasn’t exactly what he was doing in the first place#but he LIKES doing shady shit with mickey and having fun and idk why they bothered showing us that#if they were gonna drop it by the end of the season that i can only assume they knew would be the final season#it just felt like they didn’t know what to do with the two of them all season and they ended the season in a less satisfying place#than they started#r.txt
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