#but lately ive been going CRAZY for jay

[jayparked]

𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒾'𝓂 𝒶 𝒻𝑜𝑜𝓁 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊 song: cherry hill - russ ღ masterlist

[sugarushwriting]

red flag heeseung

tw/cw: controlling behavior, guns

i wrote this sooooo long ago, like last year when i first started posting?

i was going to do an entire red flag enhypen storyline but only got far with heeseung and jay

don’t want this sitting in my drafts so here yall go for entertainment! not proof read or updated since i first wrote this months ago!!!

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

“heeseung does this look cute?” you twirled for your boyfriend in your new outfit.

“where do you think you’re going?”

you pouted. “heeseung i told you me and the girls were going out tonight!”

“i don’t recall.” heeseung replied lazily continuing to play his game.

you crossed your arms. “heeseung, ive been telling you for the past week!” you raised your voice a bit. heeseung looked at you with an eyebrow raised pausing him game.

“i don’t recall me telling you that you could go.”

you bit your tongue then looked down to the ground, “heeseung it’s just, it’s my best friend’s birthday and i haven’t seen her in so long! i promised her i would go.”

“don’t make promises you can’t keep.” heeseung got up from his gaming chair. he kissed the top of your head. “now put some sweats on, let’s watch a movie.”

“but heeseung!”

“i said no, angel.” heeseung gave you the look which meant ‘the end’ of the conversation.

your pouting wouldn’t change his mind. “what if i wore—,”

“it doesn’t matter what you wear, angel, there are creeps out there and it’s my job to keep you safe.”

you walked up to your boyfriend grabbing his arm, “and you’re doing such a great job, babe!” you smiled kissing his cheek. “i will be safe.”

heeseung smiled, kissed your lips once. “no”

the entire night you had an attitude. you really liked heeseung, you did, but he was just so possessive and jealous to the point he’s controlling.

you literally learned this kind of behavior in classes, and always blamed those people for not noticing sooner. but now you were one of them.

you sat on the couch with heeseung, watching a movie, as his hand remained tight on your exposed thigh. you weren’t paying attention but he was laughing at whatever was being said.

your phone rang and you went to get it but heeseung beat you to it.

“she can’t make it tonight.” heeseung said into the phone. most likely to your best friend wondering where you were. you heard your friend screaming on the other end.

heeseung just smiled almost terrifyingly, but the smile was wiped off his face at something your friend said.

“goodbye, you are not to see her again.” he spat and hanging up the phone on your friend.

you swallowed, scared to ask what got him upset. about 10 minutes passed and heeseung’s grip had tightened to the point his nails were digging into your skin.

“ouch heeseung—,”

“what did you tell your friend about me? about us?”

“huh?”

heeseung’s dark eyes met yours. “she told me she had warned you about me. warned you about what angel? that im possessive and obsessed? that’s just because i love and care for you.”

heeseung’s tone kept getting deeper with every sentence, heavy breathing as he tried to control himself. he was good at controlling himself around others and in public.

you just made him crazy. mad almost.

his grip was threatening to leave a mark and he quickly let go, rubbing the spot soothingly, “sorry angel, i just don’t like people in our relationship.”

“it’s—it’s okay heeseung. i’m sorry, i won’t tell anyone else about us.”

heeseung smiled. “good girl.” he kissed your lips. “it’s getting late, why don’t we go to sleep?”

you didn’t dare to argue, so you followed heeseung to the bedroom, getting under the covers. he immediately pulled you close to his body, kissing you once.

it was a little after midnight, hearing heeseung softly snore you decided to get up out of bed without stirring him awake.

grabbing your phone, you snuck off to the living room sending your friend a text before immediately deleting the evidence knowing heeseung knew your passcode.

you tiptoed to the door picking up your shoes ready to sneak out until a hand landed on the door closing it.

a chest met your back, your body frozen in fear.

“where are you going this late?”

you turned to face heeseung, “the store. just to get some snacks. i woke up hungry.”

“you were going to go without me? ive told you its so dangerous out there angel. i cant have anything bad happening to you.”

heeseung rubbed your cheek with his thumb.

“so—sorry.” you mumbled looking down afraid to make eye contact with him.

“mhm? what? can’t look me in the eye knowing youre lying to me?” he spat.

looking up quickly, you tried to deny him but he held up his phone showing a text you had obviously sent to your friend.

you stuttered and utter confusion. looking up at him with knotted brows. “ho—how?”

“all your numbers were changed to mine.” heading whispered. “knew you were up to something.”

“heeseung,” you began to defend yourself but how?

“not going anywhere my angel. now let’s get back to bed.”

you walked back to the bedroom, dropping your shoes by the door. getting in bed, you quite literally could not comprehend how you got into a relationship like this. it happened so slowly and quickly.

laying down, you faced looking out the window as heeseung scooted your bodies closer so your back was to his chest.

in your ear he whispered, “try a stunt like that again and you’ll be punished. you belong to me and only me, understood? you ask for my permission first. i just care so much for you, i can’t lose you.”

“yes heeseung.” you replied softly.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

days went past. then weeks.

two months later you’ve became accustomed to heeseung’s routine. his possessiveness. obsession. controlling side.

he told you what to wear. when to wake up. when to go to sleep. what to eat.

you’d only be able to go into public with him. never alone. he couldn’t risk losing you.

he also was telling you to eat more than usual. anytime you would object, stating you’re full, he’d throw his spiel that he just wants to make sure you’re fed.

in reality to believe he was doing it to make you gain weight to become unattractive in the eyes of other men.

you heard him once mutter under his breath, “if she gains anymore weight, no guy will look at her again.”

you haven’t been in contact with any of your family or friends. heeseung stating to them you were taking a break from the use of your phone so if they wanted to contact you, they had to contact him.

heeseung made you quit your job, stating you wanted to focus on your mental health.

“it’s time for me to put a baby in you, babe.” he said one night. sex with heeseung before hand was enjoyable. now it felt like a chore.

you felt slimy cause although the way he was treating you was a big red flag, sex with him was still pleasurable in many ways.

your body betrayed your mind.

today, in a long time, heeseung was taking you to lunch with his friends at a restaurant downtown. usually he would keep you home, keeping an eye on the nanny cams he set up throughout the apartment.

his friends had wanted to see you. heeseung tried to convince them you wouldn’t want to come, but they begged, not buying it.

you walked out of the bathroom, dressed in a simple graphic tshirt, blue jean shorts that rested a few inches above your knees, and simple sneakers.

“can—can i wear this?” you asked your boyfriend shyly.

heeseung turned to you after spraying his cologne. he smiled walking closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “mhm, you know i love you in shorts, but i think i would love you better in pants.” he slapped your butt once then went back to looking at himself in the mirror.

“but heeseung, it’s really humid outside today, and i don’t want to become overheated, you know?” you bit your lip anxiously.

heeseung quickly turned to you, watching you twirl your fingers, before he said your name sternly.

“heeseung, i—i can wear something over my behind, ok?” you grabbed the nearest long sleeve button down that belonged to heeseung and wrapped the sleeves around your waist then turned around. “see!”

heeseung huffed. “fine. but only cause we’re gonna be late if we don’t leave now.”

heeseung kept a protective hand on you the entire time. in the car he held your hand tightly. walking into the restaurant his hand grabbed the hem of your shirt, gripping it between to fingers, before he wrapped his arm around your waist.

at the booth, you sat in between him and the younger, ni-ki, heeseung’s left hand tightly gripped on your thigh.

“so, how have you been?” jungwon asked as he stuffed his face.

you nodded. “good.”

“we haven’t seen you in a while!” jake exclaimed.

“yeah, we were starting to think heeseung had you locked away in a basement.” jay stated.

“i don’t have a basement.” heeseung answered flatly.

“then, we started to think heeseung had you tied to his bed, leaving you for dead.” sunoo joked.

you chuckled nervously, quickly turning the attention away, “anyway, how are you all! how’s university life, ni-ki?”

as the boys explained updated in their life, heeseung kept adding food to your plate. and whether it was new found confidence or because you had witnesses and were in public, you had enough.

“heeseung, i’m full.”

“angel, you need to eat more.”

“but i can’t.” you shot back. “i am full heeseung. to the point if i eat anymore i will get sick.”

“don’t be spoiled or rude. it’s not nice to waste.”

“is it wasting if it’s not my food?” you looked at him angrily. he looked back at you with a blank face.

shit, you were in trouble.

“heeseung—,”

“here, we’ll eat it.” jungwon said, grabbing your plate and splitting it between sunghoon and jake.

you could see heeseung’s nose flare, and you swallowed nervously.

“i need to go to the bathroom.” you blurted, looking at heeseung waiting for him to move.

“i’ll go with you.” he said and got up.

“she can go to the bathroom herself, man.” jay said, continuing to eat.

“she’s a big girl, she can go potty by herself.” jake laughed.

heeseung shook his head. “no, i can take her.”

“sit down, hee!” sunghoon said pointedly. “she can go to the bathroom herself.”

you quickly removed yourself from the booth, going to the bathroom, leaving your phone behind.

the only thing you had was your id and a bit of cash.

heeseung didn’t like being talked to like a child. but sunghoon was scarier then himself when he wanted to be.

heeseung sighed, sitting down, anxiously counting down to the time you’d be back. he’ll give you five minutes, and not a second more.

with time ticking, you quickly used the bathroom, washing your hands, trying to calm yourself.

if you walked back out there, you were done for. you knew you’d be done for. a tear threatened to escape, but you didn’t have time.

you had to escape.

looking up, there was a window in the bathroom, that you could fit through. it was small, but you’d fit.

you wasted no time, squeezing yourself through the window, briefly cutting your knee on a piece of broken glass in the windowsill.

once outside the restaurant, you ran. you ran as fast as you could.

after six minutes (due to the boys mentioning girls can’t pee as fast as dudes), heeseung had enough, and got up to go check on you.

“she’s fine!” jay groaned after him but heeseung didn’t care. he had a bad feeling.

walking to the women’s restroom, an older woman was coming out and heeseung put on his best charming smile. “is there a young girl in there?” he asked, giving the description of you.

the lady shook her head. “no, no girl in there.”

heeseung frowned. “are you sure?”

the woman nodded then went back to her own table.

heeseung ignored all manners and walked in the women’s restroom seeing it empty. no sign of you.

he looked up seeing the women’s window in the bathroom was positioned high off the ground, and it was closed. but there was a tiny speck of of blood on the sill.

“she’s gone.” heeseung spat as he got back to the table.

“what do you mean she’s gone?” jake asked, ignoring the concern and urgency in his friend’s voice.

“she’s not in the damn bathroom!” heeseung said. he felt his chest tightening and the walls caving in. “shit!” he ran a hand through his hair banging his fist on the table.

“calm down dude!” ni-ki said to the oldest.

“maybe she left because she actually did get sick?” sunoo offered with a pout.

“and not say goodbye?” jake asked, eyebrow raised.

“try calling her.” sunghoon said.

heeseung quickly took out his phone from his pocket, dialing your number.

his heart quickened hearing your phone ringing.

ni-ki looked down beside him, seeing the abandoned phone, picking it up, handing it to heeseung.

“maybe it fell out of her pocket?” jungwon shrugged.

or maybe you left it on purpose.

“fuck this shit!” he yelled storming out of the restaurant.

sunghoon quickly followed behind his friend, ni-ki trailing behind.

“what the fuck man? calm your ass down!” sunghoon spat.

heeseung quickly turned, pointing a finger. “don’t tell me what to do, park.” heeseung was seeing red. his hand covered his mouth. he was thinking the worst. “i have to go.”

without even much a goodbye he left his friends in confusion.

you couldn’t have gotten far right? you were on foot, in a neighborhood you barely knew and you were injured, somewhere.

his hand gripped the steering wheel before slamming his fist.

what if you went to the cops? he’d just say you’re insane and going through an episode.

but you don’t have any medical history with mental illness. and they would screen you and you would sure pass.

he only knew one place you would find your way to.

your friends place.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

you did find your way to your friend’s place. however she had moved. you went to her job and found her.

nothing needed to be exchanged or explained. she told everyone at her job not to tell anyone where she lived or that you had stopped by.

she quickly took you to her new place, a gated community on the other side of town.

heeseung knew where she used to live. not her new place. “i even got a new phone just in case that psycho was tracking me too.” she said.

“i’m so sorry.” you sobbed to your bestfriend on her bed.

“you have nothing to apologize for. i promise, i will help you get through this.”

“how?”

“well, we need to change your looks. luckily your bff is a hair dresser with mad skills! then, we need to change your name. i know a guy in the government that can help, no questions asked. then we get you on a plane to like hawaii or alaska.”

“we need to do that now!” you exclaimed sitting up quickly.

“we can do the first two things, but getting you to an airport is too risky. he’ll be watching most likely. trains or buses.”

that night, your friend dyed your hair to a completely different tone and color than what you had. now you understood why people didn’t recognize miley as hannah.

she texted her government friend, and he’d agreed to stop by the next day to help with the name change.

“we need to think of the most common name so if he tried to look you up, at least 100 other women would show up.”

you both agreed.

while over the next few days you and your friend plotted carefully, heeseung was driving himself mad.

your friend had moved. he went to her old place, threatened the new owner, and nearly got castrated by their partner.

he went to your friend’s job and common hang out spots, coworkers claiming they had no idea where your friend now lived (truth) and they hadn’t seen you (lie).

so, he waited outside her job. but you both were smart enough to realize heeseung may do that so she took off until you were safely out of the country.

when the time came to get on a plane with a different persona, you were anxious to say the least. but you knew you had to do this.

only carrying a duffle bag, you wore simple clothing, not wanting to bring too much attention to yourself, only shielding yourself with your new hair color and a hat.

you had 25 minutes until it was time to board your flight. your gripped your passport tightly to your chest, anxiously waiting.

you took in your surroundings, no one even paid attention to you which calmed you down a bit.

someone sat next to you. before you could even wonder why, with the plenty of spots empty, you smelled the familiar cologne.

your body froze.

a menacing chuckle fell from his lips, “you didn’t think you could get away that easy, huh angel?” he taunted.

he wouldn’t do anything irrational would he? you both were in public, with guards around.

you thought was answered when you felt something poke at your side, concealed from his jacket.

a gun.

how the fuck did he get a gun?

“heeseung don’t do anything stupid.” you whispered.

“i could say the same for you angel.” he spat, poking the weapon deeper into your side.

what you both didn’t notice was a younger couple had noticed the uncomfortable expression on your face, and the man noticed just a quick glance of the weapon. without making a fuss, the woman got up calmly to find an officer not in heeseungs view.

“do what i say, you won’t get hurt angel.”

you nodded slowly. “i’m sorry heeseung.”

“only sorry you got caught.” he scoffed.

three officers came up to you two, your eyes widened, heeseung remaining calm with a smile.

“is everything okay here?” one asked, directing his attention to you.

“yeah, everything is fine.” heeseung replied, not taking his eyes off of you, waiting for your response, digging the weapon deeper into your side.

“miss, mind coming with me for a few?”

you didn’t know if you should stay or get up.

“go on with them angel.” heeseung dared with a smile.

you slowly got up, and in a speed of light, heeseung had one arm wrapped against your neck, your back to his chest, gun pointed to your head.

the guards drew their own weapons, more coming to the commotion as people screamed and took cover.

“you make a move, i kill her!” heeseung shouted, cocking the gun.

“oh please no, heeseung! i’ll go with you, i’ll do whatever you want!”

“too late for that angel! i was nothing but good to you and this is how you pay me back?”

“put the weapon down, sir!” one cop yelled.

“if i can’t have my baby, then you all don’t deserve her either!”

baby. baby. baby!

“heeseung, baby, please put the gun down, please!”

he tightened his hold on you. “why should i listen to you, huh? and don’t promise you’ll be with me after this.” heeseung cried. “i know that’s a lie!”

“heeseung think of your baby!” you begged.

“i am thinking about you, baby.” he said kissing the top of your head, using your body as a shield.

“no, heeseung, your baby. our baby.”

heeseung froze, not sure if he understood you correct. “my—our baby?” he whispered, his voice shaking.

“look around hee, there’s children around. what if those were our kids hee? watching a stranger holding a gun to someone’s head?”

heeseung looked around seeing the kids you were talking about, hiding behind their parents.

“it—it worked?” heeseung smiled. “i got you pregnant?”

you nodded. “yes heeseung. please be a good father to our future child, and put the gun down. they need their dad.”

heeseung smiled and listened, putting the gun down. cops quickly got heeseung in cuffs, taking him away.

“i’m gonna be a dad!” he cheered.

a cop came up to you to escort you to an awaiting ambulance. “let’s get you and your baby checked out.”

you shook your head. “i’m not pregnant.”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

the next time you saw heeseung was at his trial. and although you had a good lawyer he had a better one. one that ridiculed you to the max.

“so mr. lee, you’re telling me your girlfriend—at the time,” pointing to you, “enjoyed being manhandled and having rough sex?”

you argued, “i told him earlier in our relationship i liked dominate men, not to be abused!” you yelled.

that day, you learned just how gross and conniving heeseung and lawyers could be.

“mr. lee, you stated you even had evidence that she enjoyed rough sex? having it recorded?”

“what! i did not agree to that!” you objected.

you were being crucified, and although your lawyer and the judge tried their best to get it under control and throw out any evidence that wasn’t appropriate or approved, the jury had what they needed to make a decision even though they were told to ignore it.

to them, you were just a girl who thought she enjoyed bdsm but quickly realized you didn’t. making a quick decision to blame your boyfriend.

heeseung was found not guilty of domestic violence, abuse or assault. not guilty of unlawful imprisonment. he was only charged for unlawful possession of a firearm.

2 years. 24 months. he could get out in 6 months for good behavior.

“i’ll see you and my child in 6 months, angel.” heeseung smirked as handcuffs were placed on his wrists.

you looked him dead in the eyes, “i’m not pregnant. i never was.”

he frowned. he had no connection to you whatsoever now. he couldn’t control you through your child.

he failed.

₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

[haerni]

OH MY GOD, “who is he? ”

summary: feels like you’re fallin’ deeper & maybe you’re going crazy, right? does he want you or not? he’s so confusing!

ft. park sunghoon (based on ‘OMG’ by newjeans!)

content: fem! reader, tooth-rotting fluff, a lil bit of hurt comfort, sunghoon is that confusing guy, mutual pining, reader is a bit embarrassing i think? sunoo your support system! 1.8k words

— very very minimal proofread and editing bc ive only done this in one sitting (help me).

( 🍃 ) notes: this took me so long omfgsbks but here we are with my very first content on this blog, please be nice TT sunghoon might be ooc saur.. theres that! can u tell i love sunoo, i have to sneak him in. maybe the story will jump for awhile so sorry for that also.

you've probably liked PARK SUNGHOON for almost half of your life.

ever since he sat with you at the swing from the park you used to go to when you were kids and offering his own comfort when you were crying on that day, to this day forward when he offers his shoulder for you to cry on.

he never questions the reasons behind your cries, he never pushes and all he does is sit there and offer you whispers of solace that you take to heart.

because your best friend wouldn't want the worst for you.

because all he does is care for you.

and maybe—just maybe—you hate him a little for it, for doing things that make your heart flutter, for simply just touching your hair and pulling you closer hoping that it will quell the sadness that consumes you. or when he would walk with you home after his practice despite being tired and run down to the bones, he would never miss a day. or when he would call you such sweet things like you are together when you aren't.

or when one time he heard through jay how someone was making passes on you and disgusting comments about you, he comes home with a bruised lip and wounded knuckles. he refused to let you see him, not until you forced your way to his room with the first aid kit his mother let you borrow, because he also wouldn't let her treat him.

or when you can't even pretend to be okay in the sea of bodies in a party and he notices right away. he drags you by your hand and drags you out of the party without a care for anyone. he only tells you that he hates the party and would rather eat out in a convenience store nearby.

he holds your hand tightly, you knew that night you loved park sunghoon more than you could ever imagine.

a decade into your friendship, you fell in love with your best friend, park sunghoon.

you did your best to hide it, to keep these emotions at bay and lock away into the very bottom of your heart. you swallow the bubbling feeling in your throat whenever he's close. you did your very best to preserve the relationship the both of you built together. even if all you wanted was just ruin it and become something more.

loving park sunghoon was easy, it was easy as the breeze that touched your hair, it was easy as falling into a routine of living and looking forward to days when he's with you. the prospect of loving sunghoon comes naturally and you don't know how to stop it. it just grows more everyday and suddenly you find yourself in garden of flowers blossoming in your heart, so much that's its starting to flow out little by little and you're slipping, you're heart is becoming unguarded, the walls you've spent all your life building is chipping away slowly.

it's becoming suffocating, it's hard to breathe around him.

the passing touches, the stolen glances and brief silence has been occurring more and more.

it's only a matter of time, before someone catches on. unfortunately, that time is right now.

"what's with you and sunghoon, lately?" your friend, sunoo asks, "did you guys have a fight?"

a second passes before you answer him, "we did not. why do you ask?"

sunoo sits closer to you and puts his face on his palm, "you have been avoiding him."

you stopped, "no, i'm not."

"it's lunch and you're sitting here with me in the library, working on an assignment that's not due until next week, when you usually never miss eating when he comes by our room to eat with you." he pointed out.

too specific. were you that predictable? and when you don't answer sunoo realizes something. when his eyes widen too much for your comfort that's when you interject from whatever train of thought he had.

"or maybe—"

"i don't know what you are talking about, sunoo."

"you're avoiding him.."

"i already told you, i'm not—!"

"sure, keep telling yourself that." sunoo snorts at that, "i know you like him and not how a best friend should."

you can't breathe again, you were absolutely done for. because sunoo was right, he got the answer right and you couldn't find it in yourself to quip back at him. you can't find it in yourself to deny and brush it off, because it's simply not real, it's not what your heart is telling you. maybe, that was your last straw.

maybe that was all it needed for you to let out your heart just for once and face the reality.

you don't want sunghoon as a best friend.

the realization hits harder when someone utters it out, because you have lived all your life hiding and suddenly, it pours out like rain after a long unending drought.

now here you are. in the porch of your house under the moonlight with you encased in sunghoon's arms, because you were stupid enough to go out and try to forget about him, to go see other people and hope that you can lose all these feelings you have for him. it didn't, maybe it never will. a boy, somehow he's the same height and stature as sunghoon it was enough for you to agree for a dinner out.

it was stupid to begin with. you didn't even know this guy's name (you can't even bother to remember). because while you sat there and tried to engage with him, your mind drifted far on how he does not have the same moles as sunghoon, he does not make you laugh like sunghoon does, maybe he would've took you out to that ramen place you always go to after a long day instead of this fancy restaurant that you don't even know. quite sure enough that guy only talked about himself, you didn't listen.

"so are we going?" he gives you an all-knowing smile and as you try to turn him down a voice comes in.

"she's not going with you." you look behind, and there he stands one hand in his pocket wearing a white button-up shirt that you haven't seen before, a cold gaze accompanying it and his hair done all too perfectly—like he was on a date.

"hey! who do you think you are?" sunghoon ignores him as he offers his hand to you. tilting his head in question. you did not hesitate to grab it. it's almost a curse for him to know when you need him the most.

you can feel the heat rising up in your body as he intertwines both of your hands and gives it a squeeze.

he brings you home, like how he promised your dad when you were sixteen.

you bite your lips in hopes of suppressing all the emotions running down on you. but you can't really do that in front of sunghoon, can you?

you broke down.

and sunghoon was there—it was enough. it was enough for everything to pour out.

"i'm tired, hoon." his arms tighten around you, burying his face to your hair, almost as if he's kissing it in comfort.

you're tired? is it because of that guy? should he beat him up? you wouldn't like it anyway, so he erase the thought. park sunghoon has never hated anyone more than that jerk right now. he curses that stupid guy who made you like this.

"i hate you park sunghoon."

"you don't mean that."

you don't.

"i really really hate you." you were probably the worst to utter such words to him. to your best friend, to sunghoon out of all people. but you can't stop. "you're so stupid, stupid."

it takes him back, he didn't expect for you to be mad at him. he's silent for a moment as he continues to hold you like you're going to disappear.

"how am i stupid, baby?" there he goes again with those stupid nicknames.

you refuse to look at him, burying your face to his nape. and when you don't answer he talks for you.

"do you hate me that much for you not to look at me?" you really hate park sunghoon.

he sighs at the lack of your response. he shakes his head before he turns his face closer to your ear, "what am i gonna do, baby? you hate me, but i like you so much."

what? what the fuck?

that makes you widen your eyes processing what he just said as you sit up straight and facing him. and it makes him laugh a little, he probably shouldn't, but he couldn't help it. not when you're this adorably looking at him like you can't believe it.

"don't joke about things like that park sunghoon!"

wow, using his government name? "you don't believe me?" you don't answer. "why do you think i came to that awful restaurant wearing this shirt?" you knew it was new, you've never seen him wear it.

"because you want to fit it?" you answer.

"that too," he laughs, "and because you didn't eat lunch with me, you didn't walk home with me. i heard from sunoo, that you were out with someone and you didn't dress up because of me. you were on a date and it wasn't me. you were avoiding me, baby."

he looks at you and it hurts because both of you are a fucking idiot. all this time, sunghoon liked you.

park sunghoon likes you.

"how long?" and you can't help it, you have to know.

he thinks for a second, "hm.. since when you were on that swing? i thought you were pretty." he smiles so easily.

oh my god.

you buried your face once more, not really knowing what to do, because for the longest time you thought you were the only one feeling this way.

but sunghoon understands, he continues to talk, "jay thinks i'm obsessed with you. he's not wrong, you know? you don't have to say anything right now, i know you're having a har—"

you kissed him. park sunghoon is really an idiot. how can you not like him? how can anyone not even like him? he's so stupid. sunghoon's eyes widen a bit, but melts into your touch as quickly.

god, was this really happening? please don't ever wake him up if this is a dream.

you pulled away for a breather and he reached for another one causing you to block his lips with your hand.

feeling the blood in your cheeks, flustered as sunghoon kisses your palm instead. his hand coming up to yours to remove it.

"can i kiss you again?" you were going to die, "please?" you're sure of it.

"no!"

sunghoon laughs at that. you can't feel it, but his cheeks are really hurting now from smiling. maybe one day you'll let him kiss you more, but for now this is enough.

he has loved you almost all of his life.

𖹭 likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! i hope he is not too out of character :')

[ivenhae]

AFTER LIKE

Pairing: Hot nerd?Heeseung x Fem!Reader

cw: cursing + kissing, slight skinship

📗: heeseung being a nerd doesn't have any significance, just for the plot of hee with glasses🫣 mainly fluff but angst if you squint lololll, reader is a bit shy and heeseung is kinda cocky? height difference (reader is short obvi), reader calls hee a stupid nerd, let me know if there's something else💋

Mentions of Jake and Jay from ENHYPEN.

Inspired by: After Like - IVE

💌: originally written for karina from aespa but it was so heeseung coded too so i decided to make his ver as well! this is my first writing work so i hope you like it and let me know if you would like to be tagged in my future works! -love, unika🩷

Divider credit: @cafekitsune ♡

read KARINA ver!

또 모르지 내 마음이

저 날씨처럼 바뀔지

날 나조차 다 알 수 없으니

Who knows?

My mind might just change like the weather

Even I don't know myself.

New years eve, what was so special about this thing anyways? It's just another year after all... Heeseung thought, swirling the pen around his fingers as he studied or rather just stared at the book on the desk. His mind wandered back to his orignal thought, you. He closed the book, huffing in frustration, you must be in at the party that you were going on and on about earlier, your eyes twinkling in enthusiasm as you described the dress you were planning on wearing later, "shit..." He mutters under his breath as he remembers the picture you showed him, a mirror selfie of you in that pretty baby pink, spaghetti strapped dress that stopped right above your knee. The dress was modest, just like you but it was enough, enough to drive a man or him, crazy. "You have to be there hee!" He remembers the way you chimed looking up at him with those damn doe eyes as you tugged on his sleeve and then he saw your face fall when he declined, "Can't Y/n, I have..." He trails off getting lost in your eyes for a moment before he catches himself, clearing his throat as he shakes his head "...I have to study" That cute pout on your face as you huffed before starting about how he should enjoy himself and that it's new years eve, which he didn't pay any attention to because he was too busy staring at your cute face. "what am I even doing?" He mumbles as he finds himself standing in front of his closet, staring at the pile of clothes.

그게 뭐가 중요하니

지금 네게 완전히

푹 빠졌단 게 중요한 거지

That doesn't matter

What matters is

I'm into you right now.

God, why did he have to be such a coward? He thinks, his hands clenching on his sides as he stands outside Jake's house. The feeling of his heart beating rapidly and the loud music from inside only adding to his nervousness, he had been to his friend's house countless times for countless parties, then why is he so nervous today? "Oh? Aren't you a little too early?" Heeseung's met with Jake's sarcasm as he walks in the house, he rolls his eyes as they hug, Jake pulls back before taking a look at Heeseung, "You look good! But man you're so late! I thought Y/n said you had to study or something" Heeseung sighs, "Yeah I..." Heeseung trails off, he takes a deep breath before continuing "Jake, I think I'm gonna tell her..." He says softly, looking at Jake as if asking him if it's a good idea. Jake eyes widen, "Really? Don't tell me that's the only reason why you came here..." Jake gives him an aww expression before continuing, "You know what? She hasn't been enjoying herself at all today and I think...its because you weren't here" Heeseung raises an eyebrow, nibbling on his bottom lip nervously, "Really? You...you think so?" Jake flashes him a smile as he nods, "Really bro, and it's new years eve! Don't you think it's the perfect time to tell her how you feel? And it's..." Jake takes a look at the time on his phone before turning to Heeseung, "It's almost 12..." He says softly, Heeseung's eyes widen slightly, he turns to look at the stairs then back at Jake who just nods at him, patting his back. Heeseung mouths a 'thank you' before making his way up the stairs. He steps out on the rooftop, his eyes scanning among the people to look for you, oh. There you are, and ofcourse you're with Jay. He has a hand on your waist as you have yours on his shoulder. The beating of his heart is faster than the loud song playing as he watches you with him, he stays there, the ache in his chest only increasing, but then he sees Jay lean in closer to you and it's his final straw, something inside him snaps and he's already making his way past the crowd striding towards you.

아마 꿈만 같겠지만 분명 꿈이 아니야

달리 설명할 수 없는 이건 사랑일거야

Seems like a dream but it’s definitely not

Can't explain it, it must be love.

"What?" "I said I'm leaving!" You place a hand on his shoulder as you repeat, trying to make yourself audible over the loud music. "Huh? It isn't even 12 yet Y/n!" He places a hand on your waist unconsciously as he leans in, almost yelling so that you could hear him. "I know but...the person who I was dressed up and here for isn't even here...I...I feel stupid" You say, you don't know why you told him that, but you did. Jay looks at you with an arched eyebrow, as if waiting for you to explain further, you sigh stepping back slightly before looking up at him, "Heeseung! That...stupid stupid nerd who just can't seem to understand my stupid stupid hints! I'm always trying to look good so that he sees me... trying to drop hints and make him realise that i like him but he's just doesn't get it! Always just being there...looking so...so good!" You huff, a soft pout on your lips, Jay chuckles softly shaking his head before his smile fades slowly "Y/n-" "No it's okay!" You shake your head as you start stepping back slowly. "I'll just go home and spend this stupid-" You pause as you bump into someone, before you could turn to say sorry, you feel hands grabbing your waist "Just exactly how many times did you say stupid?" You gasp softly as you hear his soft voice and feel his warm breath on your ear, moving back slightly as you turn around, there he is, in that stupid black shirt with his stupid glasses, the sound of Jay clearing his throat behind you brings you back to reality, "Uh yeah, that's what I was trying to say, you two can talk I'll just..see you guys after midnight, I guess" Jay says awkwardly before walking away, but none of you move, just standing there and appreciating each other. "Stupid nerd huh?" Heeseung breaks the silence first, a cocky smirk on his face and his head tilted to the side, oh he's giving you that cocky expression that makes you feel the butterflies in your stomach "I...I didn't mean it like that..." "I know" Heeseung sighs as he moves closer to you, his fingers gripping on your chin gently as he tilts your face up, making you face him, "You look beautiful...did you mean it angel?" Angel? Fuck. "That you're a stupid...no! Ofcourse-" He chuckles softly, cutting you off, "No, That you dress up all pretty...for me? That you like me?" Your eyes widen slightly as you look away, "Nuh-uh, look at me angel, I need to know, please." Your breath hitches at his words as you slowly turn your gaze towards him again, "I...yes..." You whisper softly and he lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding until now, he leans in, his fingers still holding your chin as his eyes bore into yours through his stupid glasses, "Guess I am a stupid stupid nerd that I couldn't even understand that a pretty pretty girl like you liked me too huh?" Wait. Did he just say, too? "Too? h-hee..."

방금 내가 말한 감정 감히 의심하지 마

그냥 좋다는 게 아냐 what's after 'Like'?

Don't try to doubt what I just said

It's beyond like, what's after like?

As if on cue, the music suddenly dies down, "Everybody! Time for the final countdown!" Someone yells as the countdown begins 10...9...8...7... You both turn to look at each other again, Heeseung swallows, his eyes flickering to your lips then back to your eyes again,

You and I

It's more than 'Like'

L 다음 또 O 다음 난 yeah, yeah, yeah

"I like you Y/n and fuck, I think it's more than like" Your breath hitches yet again at his confession, 6...5...4...3... You somehow find your courage, arms wrapping around his neck as you look up at him,

You and I

It's more than 'Like'

What's after 'Like'?

"What's after like?" 2...1... Heeseung's hands cup your face as he leans down, capturing your lips with his own in a sweet kiss, your arms tighten around his neck, pulling him closer as you both get surrounded by loud cheers and fireworks, when you finally pull away, his thumb brushes on your cheek softly, an adoring smile on his face as he looks at you, his voice a soft whisper, "Love."

-likes and reblogs are very much appreciated🫣🩷

© ivenhae - all rights reserved, do not copy or steal.

[cimmerian1275]

BOOM, have a random turtle person!!! (<- the guy thats my pfp) I cant think of a real name for them, kinda dont wanna name them, so theyve been given the nickname Jr for now <3 (NOT junior, just Jr like 'jay-arr' ykyk cuz im so creative /j)

I got carried away one night when i was googling turtles and i got struck with artistic inspiration to design something C: i discovered "Pastel" Red-Eared Sliders, and ohmygoshhhh they have really RLLY cool markings!?!? AND COLORS?! I couldnt resist the temptation to create a character with that inspo in mind! Ive been on a roll lately with concepts/ref sheets/designs sooooo, when art block hits? DESIGN SOMETHING!! The shade of green i used is probably too dark, but i just really liked that color and my brain wouldnt accept any other colors xd

The "red ear" stripe or whatever, WAS orange and i rlly like it... but after some debating and research i decided it made more sense to make it closer to an actual red (the orange is technically still accurate tho). The orange looked great and flowed real well but i couldnt help thinking it made them seem more like a yellow-bellied slider x red-ear combo of some kind when that is NOT what i wanted :C Its probably not obvious that theyre a pastel slider, but the face markings r the main indicator! From all of the images ive seen pastel sliders have way more complex/crazy facial stripes and i wanted to have smth like that (but seriously go google them the shell patterns blow my mind away).

At the time of posting this, ive got a massive canvas full of doodles of just- THIS guy lmao, and ive discovered theyre VERY fun to draw. And its an exiting new experience trying to figure out how to draw humanoid anatomy, ive discovered human shoulders are infact quite different to dragon ones and have a whole new set of rules when u draw em sjgfdjhhjdhjfss.

So, ig i have a tmnt character of my own now? 💀 i did not plan their existence (when i mean i spontaneously made them, i rlly mean i finished their design the same night i got inspired)... so, theyre just a guy for me to practice drawing humanoid anatomy with now.

Gonna make another ref sheet later but with some accessory options/apparel/clothes or whatever, they dont NEED those but i really want to practice drawing fabric (AND ITS FUN!!) its something i rarely draw and its probably a good idea to learn how.

[plasmara]

HI IT'S ME AGAIN (hope ur not bored)

and same. when i tell you i have been thinking abt this spiderman au for days i Mean it. DAYS. i'm slowly going crazy bcs of these blue and red legos. spiderman is my all time favorite movie, and when rewatching it i saw his red and blue suit and like. Oh! plasma colors!

kai runnign away from every crime is truly hilarious really. but unfortunately i like to think he is a trouble magnet. every where he goes trouble also follows. be it a bank robbery or a simple mugging. or some monster attacking their school. kai is somehow There . he's cursed

jay trying to wingman himself and Fails is definitely canon. he is the number one spiderman glazer (but only in front of kai) and kais reaction will be like. meh. i hate bugs. i dont like him that much. (LIES he cant stop thinking abt him making out with THE spiderman in some alleyway every time spiderman comes up in convos and he Tries desperately to forget abt it). after school kai meets spidey again that night and hes probably like "oh, i have this classmate who is totally head over heels for you. he wont shut up about spiderman this and spiderman that. maybe u guys should meet." AND JAY WOULD TRY TO SNEAK "really now... what do you think about him by the way?" and kais like ????? huh? why do u wanna know.

AND!!! ive been thinking abt The Reveal... i think it can be absolutely fluffy or angsty. idk. its plasma. for the fluff plot maybe somehow kai was just feeling so ffrustrated with jay never noticing his feelings and he (accidentally) rants about it to spidey, and slips up jays name. it took jay five business days (5 secs) to realize that "Wait. You're in love with me?" "Why would I be in love with you?? I just said it's one of my classmates." and then boom. they make out. cheesy i know but hey they're cute okay.

AS FOR THE ANGST.... Hm. i was thinking maybe something similar to tasm 2 but they kai doesnt know about jays real identity yet. insert some villain. maybe krux and acronix? kai is being targeted again, and jay arrives a little bit too late. idk the whole thing about kai dying in jays arms are just so. so . Wow. i love torturing them (and kai specifically)

OUTGHHHGGGGGHHH YES accidental love confession ftw. let’s throw in kai monologuing ab jay so bad beforehand like “yeah… even tho he’s the Worst . he’s sweet and funny and kinda annoying but in a good way? he always trips over his words when he’s nervous. he makes the worst jokes in the world. Truly awful btw. and he’s got this smile that’s just… ugh. i hate it.”

and jay sat there thinking: wow. this guy kai likes must be a real goober. a total loser. I don’t even feel threatened. Nd when he says his name jay’s just like “excuse me????”

offended for approx two seconds before he recalibrates and goes, actually. this is a win. let’s make out

on a level tho lowk . How about no reveal until kai falls to his Death……………. he’s literally dying in spiderman’s arms and jay’s ripping the mask off like “no no no you’re fine!!!!!! you’re gonna be okay!!!!!” Except he’s not and kai just blinks up at him like “…jay?” and jay’s cradling him in his arms. then he’s like “i should’ve told you. i thought i had time.” .ok actually nevermind i’m gonna be sick

[aperiodtm]

Familiar pt.2 | Sim Jake

PAIRING: (ex)online bestfriend!Jake x (ex)online bestfriend!fem!reader

SUMMARY: Jake has a plan (appearance of jay) (and an unnamed friend for now (?) im horrible at names.)

GENRE: bitter angst, lil crying

WC: 585 (well this was..shitting short.)

A/N: also based on real-life experience.. :)

im thinking of making this a mini-series?..

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

okay, Jake couldn't do this anymore. in his defense, he was attached. too attached, even after 6 months.

29 January, your birthday. a day Jake was always looking forward to, just so he could wish you a happy birthday first, which he, much proudly, was successful in for 4 straight years.

well, once some other guy in your school wished you earlier than him. stupid douchebag, he thought.

but that didn't matter when you said his wish meant more and was always first in your heart.

and god was Jake in another spiral, staring at the his endless messages with 'Instagram User' on New Year's Eve.

''what a great year it's going to be.'', he grumbled.

unwillingly while reading those texts, a droplet fell on the very desk he was at. then another. and it kept going, till he had to set that damn phone aside and pour it out.

Jake couldn't do it anymore, he missed you. you were his bestfriend. the one he could talk to for hours, to rely on and vent to when he had a fight with his friends, the one who had such horrible memory that you had to save little things you knew about Jake in a separate note on your phone. Jake found it cute though.

he had felt care, but this was attachment.

this was such a strong attachment, something he cried over so much he felt his heart clench. when he went out after the day you blocked him, he feet the agony when he saw anything that reminded him of you. he was so proud of your friendship he'd show it off to anyone.

and now, after that day, he couldn't focus on anyone but you. that day, did he really see you again?

after being done with all the emotion, he picked up his phone again, and wiped the tears away.

wait, he thought.

he quickly shuffled around his phone, through the same messages, till he got to it. one very specific message.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

| @(username)

| is this ur friend? i noticed yall matching pfps and followed-

| WHAT THE FUCK JAKE THATS MY BEST FRIEND HOWD U FIND HER?

| ok ykw nvm since u already followed let it be js dont talk to her she doesnt know i got online friends

| and DONT unfollow. she'll get suspicious and bombard me with tons of questions if she sees both of us know each other.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Jake never really understood why you kept your online social life a secret so badly. but he never questioned it further.

until now.

he clicked on your friend's profile. and just stared at the screen. should he do it? but you warned him not to. but he wants to know- no, he needs to know how you're doing. this could be his chance-

''hey, you okay?'' it was Jay.

''y-yeah i..just been thinking..'' Jake sighs and puts his phone away. fuck it, just let it be. maybe he's going crazy, he definitely does not want to mess himself up further.

''tell me about it.'' Jay pauses, sitting next to him. ''is it about her again?''

Jay knew well, as his roommate, about what Jake has been through and how he remembers you time to time.

''well....yeah. Y/N.'' Jake sighs. maybe Jay can give him proper advice? since he's clearly (well, in this aspect) more sane and less impulsive than him. so, turning around in his chair, he faces his older properly.

''okay, so..''

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

to be continued!

ive been getting some ideas lately for series ^^ but ofc theyre gonna take long ahaha </3

[b1mbodoll]

NONCON OMORASHI W PUPPY!JAKE BABY PLEASE YOU ARE INSANE 😵‍💫😵‍💫 need him to fill me up soso badly

(ive been reading all of your little hybrid thoughts lately and omg let me kiss you bubi im in love w you n your pretty brain especially when you mentioned the barbed dick i- 🫠🫠)

<🫧3

hehehe :D m crazy im fucking crazy!!!!! ur so real for this though 😞 puppy jake can do whatever he wants to me idgaf!!!!!!

i’m glad you’ve been enjoyin my hybrid posts 💞💞 they have been plaguing my little brain for too long!!!!! go ahead n kiss me i <3 smooches 🥰 n omg . barbed cock jay… i have so many thoughts abt noncon with him, i wish everything i wanted to write just wrote itself for me 😞 why must i put forth the energy n work to make it all make sense 😞

[axolozzy]

senior prank went crazy tonight (aka me using tumblr as my diary again)

we went on the roof of the school earlier and nearly had the cops called on us it was so fun guys. we were not allowed to be up there!!! like almost the whole senior class was on the roof toilet papering everything and there were no actual teachers or adults (besides us ig because like were 18) besides the janitors who unlocked the classrooms and let us wreak havoc. our school is actual chaos inside and out like there’s piles of chairs and piles of tables in every hallway and it’s INSANE. genuinely actually insane like there’s toilet paper and seran wrap everywhere guys. our class trip is supposed to be on friday to valley fair but im not sure that’s gonna happen LOLLLL like we’ll definitely be spending our entire last day of school tomorrow cleaning everything up but it was worth it guys it was so fun. wooow. wow. none of my friends were there so i was kinda just silently following everyone around and helping out and it was fun it was silly. i dont think anyone expected me to be there either cuz im literally the most quiet anti social person at our school like im involved in nothing and i dont have much friends and people always say like they never hear me talk because im literally the quiet kid. nobody has ever even talked shit about me because there’s nothing TO SAY, like, i’m a complete nobody in the best or neutral way possible? like everyone has always accepted the fact im so weird and don’t like talking to people and they let me be but they also include me in things and are so nice and like. it’s just cool i guess. i’ve never been bullied but ive also never really been paid attention to either, everyone just lets me exist in their space because that’s what ive always done. anyway tonight was awesome like woooow wow. half my grade are conservative rednecks but i was surprised that literally everyone was calling me jay tonight despite me literally not talking to these people or being in the same classes or whatever. like that’s cool as shit. man tomorrows my last day of school ever. we all grew up together literally like. like we all know eachother despite literally being completely different from one another. like there’s 30-40 of us seniors, which is apparently not a lot compared to other schools and ours is pretty small i guess? like yeah. yeah i know all of these people but they don’t know me, none of them ever really knew me because i just never talked. i never did anything really. and now it’ll all be over and i’ll be on my own. like i don’t really LIKE any of these people, a lot of them are huge assholes and shit, but ive known them my whole life and its just strange. like were all growing up, were all ALREADY grown up i guess. i’ve always been terrified of growing up and i still am but fuck that lets get back to business!!!! the teacher’s lounge was literally unlocked and we went in their and stacked all the chairs into a pile and then took a taxidermied animal from the librarby and put it on top of the fridge

i have more pictures but like they’re filled with people and i don’t wanna spend time editing them because it is late and i wanna actually wake up early tomorrow to see everyone’s reactions to this shit. also it’s my last day. wow… i was supposed to present a spanish project in class tomorrow but i don’t know if ill be able to hahhahaha because they’ll probably make us clean everything up which is good actually i half assed that entire project and didn’t wanna present it. i hope ill get to finish painting my louie clay sculpture tomorrow though. anyway i don’t really know why im posting this but i hope its entertaining i guess. im gonna be graduating high school… wowwww that’s insane that actually insane im not ready. time is going way too fast guys. i can’t even like explain it but wooow. wow. just realized i have like 300 followers here who might read this which is pretty awkward cuz uhhh i always forget that the stuff i post can be seen by people who aren’t just my closest mutuals soooo whatever that cool. uhh i should probably go to bed. can’t believe tomorrows my last day that doesn’t feel real at all aaaaahhhhhhhh goodnight tumblr!!!!!! im gonna wear my spongebob pajama pants to school tomorrow and im very excited about that

wait also i wanted to say we got permission to pull a senior prank from the principal himself, who i call the Skoogily Boogily, who we are all terrified of when we hear his keys jiggling in the hallways anyway we got permission so it’s fine

[jayflrt]

lol about your post on fate+… i agree!!! long ass rant incoming 😭

first of all, the tour is very rushed. yes ik the boys have been hinting at it since their LA show back in october but announcing the tour the day after the last show of the regular fate tour and giving engenes only a week for ticketing is wild. but kpop companies have caught on that many fans will spend $$$ to see their idols and will gather up money somehow even with a few days notice. it’s so ughhh because it brings me to my next point.

the ticket pricing 🙄🙄 wdym nyc show VIP1 was $700+ with fees. and no benefits with the VIP package were announced so nobody including the arena staff know if send off is included. (i hope it isn’t cause goddamn after that first LA show it was a mess) ive never gotten VIP/GA tickets for any concert ever because i only started working a year and a half ago and just personally don’t think it’s worth it for me considering i make minimum wage at the moment. but i spent $150 without fees fate in newark for a pretty good seat at prudential. however for UBS ticketing today, seats just as good were $250-$300. like i get it’s a diff arena so diff pricing but DAMN? luckily i was able to snag $150 tickets towards the back of the 100s section but damn why is there a $100 upcharge for sitting like a few rows in front…bffr hybe. i went to see txt at UBS last year and the seats in the same area i sat in for that concert were $300+ today 😭😭😭 concerts in general are getting more and more expensive and it sucksss!!! but like i said, kpop companies know kpop stans will buy no matter the price so they unashamedly increase prices with each subsequent tour. that’s def why some groups are touring 24/7…and enha is def gonna become that group for hybe considering their international success is crazy. i have a feeling they plan to push txt more in korea and enha more internationally so enha is gonna keep on touring and touring.

i personally believe that even $200 w/ fees is kinda pushing it for a concert even it means a good view! but you can’t get good concert tickets for cheaper with any artist (why are drake tickets like $300 for nosebleeds)

my third point is rest 😭 for the sake of the boys health, the tour should be starting in late summer/early fall and with dates more spaced out. there was so much discourse on twitter about whether the tour should be boycotted or not. i felt really guilty even considering buying tickets cause of it. imo i believe that a boycott would only hurt the boys more. it’s ok to want to go see them. HOWEVER, belift/hybe should be giving the boys some time to rest because jfc they’re also comparing for a comeback. i hope the boys get AT LEAST a week without intense practices and constant filming. a month long rest is ideal but it’s not realistic knowing their management. i really really hope all goes well this tour and the boys stay healthy. jay my pookie wookie also seemed so excited to go to tacoma, even if it’s for a day so i hope he can visit his old hometown 😫😫

and with the large influx of y/n interaction loving engenes (ik i can’t talk because im sending this to a fic blog on tumblr.com) i hope the boys don’t have to deal with the same type of bullshit they did during this last tour. it’s inevitable tho, so many people are getting into enha because they do a lot of fanservice these days. i really want to know if they flirt 24/7 on weverse because it’s entertaining to watch the aftermath or because their management really wants to push the parasocial thing with them. makes sense if it’s the management tho considering send off was very interactive (a lot of the tiktoks of it went virallll) + the boys are constantly on vlive and making flirty comments these days (sunghoon when i catch u)

right??? i loveddd the fate tour and there was plenty of time between the announcement and the actual purchasing of tickets, if i remember correctly. but today was just a mess!!! :/ how have they not realized that some engenes need more than a week to prepare and come up with the money to attend, like i had friends selling photocard collections just to buy tickets 😭 but yeah ultimately just had to dish out money from their own pockets

i believe they all have send off now (i was buying vip1 tickets for my friends and it said so on the package) but i was shocked that they even had send off still after how bad it was last time 😭😭 (to be fair i think send off was rlly nice in la tho so fingers crossed they find a big space again to hold it in) but god it makes me so sad to hear that they're just running enha dry with tour after tour 😭 and right!!! there was literally a $200+ service fee?? that's literally the price of another ticket like wtf

honestly i don't think a boycott would help. i think it could if everyone committed to it, but the moment people mentioned it i knew it wasn't happening because people aren't actually willing to give up on seeing enha. realistically there's not even much of a point to the tour considering they have like 4 new songs?? svt hasn't toured in the us since be the sun and they're gonna have two albums of songs for their next tour now. i just wish belift would let enha space out their tours like that 💔 but!! i will say i am glad that jay gets to tour in his hometown in all this

LOL it is ironic to say that to a reader insert writer but it is more of a nameless oc insert for me!!! 🥲 but i totally get what you mean, there's so many engenes who only care about interactions and "y/n moments" like this girl literally shoved me during the fate tour when they came down the aisles??? 💀 like girl chill u can have heeseung omg 🚶‍♂️ no i'm not gonna lie i think the y/n stans on twitter have fallen victim to the parasocial relationship HARD and it feels like it all started because of the fate tour too 😭 it also doesn't help that belift pushes them to fit this perfect boyfriend image with the whole "dating my fans" kind of thing. i was sooo done with them after everyone started posting their selca days for jungwon's birthday like jfc 😭😭

[raravyll]

4 years ago, I didn't see you yet, I know I'm into you.

You were once a name I overheard to my co-tenants giggling, gossiping about their crushes back then; a backstory of a normal college girls who spent their high school looking for their prince. I was there, beside them. You were the pandesal at six o’clock in the morning while I was taking a sip of my favorite turmeric tea under the murky sky.

You play chess and Rubik's cube so well that was what they kept highlighting about you.

Back then, you were once a name, an idea of how you look like all raging inside my head. So, I stalked their Facebook walls looked for your name on their friends list and thought I found the right one. I was in absolute delight that I sent you a friend's request and stalked all your post.

 Brian Jay

Well, you looked different than imagined: too raw, angst with the dark humor. Like Taylor Swift song, Mine, at that time, I was working part time to one of the known fast-food chains in the country to keep me alive while taking my bachelor’s degree, while doing engagement in our school publication to pursue my passion, at least. I do political affiliation too as my other means to support my living. Honey, all I can do at that time was merely think of you and kept what I felt inside the casket of my chest and let the time kill it because to me, falling in love is not what I am made of. I was in absolute state of a mess. Every day is a battle that I had to survive on my own.

So, maybe I thought, it would just be a phase. I’d get over you soon.

Maybe, right?

4 years after, I've forgotten you.

I no longer drink turmeric at six o’clock in the morning, it has been replaced with green cobra energy drink. I had a new job and with my new people and we used to go for a walk after shift at the Boulevard. I'm into someone else now and that I barely even remember your name. But one day, there this man added me on Facebook and one who stalked me first, Brian.

Just Brian. No, Jay after it or anything. A co-worker and a friend, I guess.

We we're both crazy in our own ways. His humor? I don't know I just feel like smiling whenever he laughs. This time, I know it's not just in my head.

One time, as we went to sharing about our lives, he caressed my face and looked at me with all the softness he has and asked, "Did I came too late?"

I burst into tears for I don't know why but for some reason I felt I've longed to be in his arms quite long enough. I didn't utter a word. Instead, I hugged him so tight. That's what I knew was the right thing to do.

4 years after, I thought I've forgotten you.

The longer that I spent my time with that just Brian, the more I remember the name I overheard before and it’s taking me back to who I used to. The Lara with burning passion to do what she aspired to be. With him, she became the art herself. Once again, she fell in love with life and felt the need to write it all.

The longer I look at him, the more I realized, it's you all this time.

And that today, I can’t call you enough with any endearment, my love. God knows, it has been years of longing to say your name: Brian, Brian, Brian.

 I would keep remembering that.

4 years after, still into you but for now, I have let go the thought of you.

Hey, I’m Lara. Gone all the years of anticipating how you look like now that you were once mine. Finally nice meeting you. My love, I may be out of your sight now, but I hope you would remember me by the stars lighting up your lonely night or as someone who adores and proud of you in all your phases and for whatever you're becoming. Few months from now, we would be turning 24, and still, I have loved you since we were 19.

|remembered me by your name| x|iv|mmxxiv

[study-coffee-chicago]

Seasons of Med: Season 1: Glad I Didn’t Make it that Far (A Halstead brothers + Halstead sister! imagine)

Trigger warning: Talk of eating disorders

As always, I do not own any quotes from Chicago Med 1x04 that show up here!

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"We should go to a movie," your best friend Emma suggested when you were sitting on the playground of Central Chicago's elementary school one summer day.

You had been coming here since it was pretty close to your house to be able to read without worrying that your dad would show up drunk. He wasn't violent, he was just rude, asking why there was no food and when you explained it was because he wasn't going shopping, he'd scoff and tell you to get a job if you wanted to eat. It wasn't your fault; you'd tried to get a job, but no one would hire you because you were only fourteen. Most places required that you be at least sixteen and the occasional place would let you start at fifteen, but only with very limited hours. And, the places that let you start at fifteen were too far away for you to walk to. You'd have to take the El...and that would turn out badly if Will and Jay found out, even though your dad wouldn't care in the slightest.

"Em, I don't have any money. I'm literally rationing out my feminine products at this point."

"Hey, just tell me if you need any. Me or my mom can get you some. Oh, and some neighbors of mine run a little kettle corn company. They're looking for some extra help on the weekends and they'll pay you under the table. I can give you their number if you want."

"Really?" Emma smiled and nodded. "Yes, please! And, you're the best."

But, what you didn't tell her was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday since there was barely anything in your house and that your cramps were killing you and because of all this, you were feeling nauseous.

"Let's go to the movies. My treat."

"I can't let you pay for me."

"Yes, you can. Best friends help each other out. Now c'mon, let's go." You sighed and closed your eyes as you stood up. "You good?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just dizzy."

"You wanna go home?"

"No, no I'm fine. Just seasonal allergies from all the pollen," you lied.

"Okay, let's go."

You started to slow down as you got closer to the movie theater. "I'm so excited to see The Longest Ride!" Emma squealed. "Scott Eastwood is just mwah!"

"Yeah, but he's- he's a lot-- I gotta, I gotta sit down," you stuttered, starting to feel more lightheaded and seeing your vision become blurry at the edges.

"Okay, let's get to the front where you can sit on the curb."

You slowly started to make your way there, but it was too late. "Em- Emma," you slurred as you tried to reach for her as your legs gave out underneath you, and then everything went black.

"Y/N!" Emma yelled as she squatted down next to you and pulled out her phone.

Just then, everyone started running out of the theater shouting something about a shooting.

***

Will's pager went off as he was eating with Natalie and the rest of the team from a taco truck outside of Chicago Med. And, everyone else's pagers were going off, too, making it sound like alarm clocks that were all set for the same time. Then, Maggie ran outside.

"Shooting in a movie theater! Mass casualties! It's about to get crazy!" she yelled to the doctors and other nurses. "EMTs are four minutes out!"

Not even a second after she finished her sentence, an ambulance pulled up with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

"Check that!" Will yelled as he threw his food in the trash can. "They're here!"

Then, all of them sprinted into the hospital, their main focus now being saving as many lives as possible.

"Another maniac gone crazy in a theater," Will said as he put something over his scrubs to keep them from getting blood all over them. "Is this the world we live in?"

***

You slowly opened your eyes to be met with the white ceiling and an IV in your arm. You groaned. "Where am I?" you asked as you rolled over to see Emma sitting on a bench. "Are we in an ambulance?"

"You don't remember?" Emma asked.

"You passed out, sweetie," a female paramedic told you as she put a blood pressure cuff around your arm. "Luckily for you, we came pretty quick after hearing about the shooting."

"The shooting? There was a shooting?"

"In the movie theater," the paramedic answered you. "You were lucky you didn't go in."

"Guess so."

Your eyes widened as you realized they were probably taking you to Chicago Med. You couldn't let your brother know that the most likely reason for you passing out was that you hadn't eaten since yesterday. They'd freak out.

"Am I good to go when we get to the hospital? I feel fine." You were still nauseous, but that was better than being passed out.

"You passed out, we need to get you checked out at the hospital."

"But I feel fine," you protested.

"I understand that, sweetie. But you need to get checked out anyway to make sure that there wasn't something that made you pass out other than the heat."

"She's right, Y/N," Emma said. "You need to get checked out."

You huffed. "Fine." Maybe Will would be too busy to even notice you were there. And, you figured your dad wouldn't pick up his phone, so you could just sneak out undetected when the doctors and nurses weren't watching.

When you got in, you were met by Natalie. "Y/N?" she asked. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nothing. I just passed out. I'm fine, really."

"Shoot," Emma said. "My mom's here to pick me up. Said she doesn't want me here because of all the press since I'm not hurt. I'm sorry."

You waved your hand. "It's fine. Hopefully, I'll be getting out here soon, too. See you later."

"Bye, Y/N."

"If you passed out, you're not fine, Y/N," Natalie said.

As you were wheeled past a trauma room, you saw your brother. Luckily for you, he was too focused on his patient that he didn't notice.

"Want me to get Will?" Natalie asked when she saw you glance in there.

"No! I mean, he looks really busy and I'm not dying. They should be the first priority."

"Okay, well I'll have Maggie call your dad because after all the standard tests, if I need to do more, I'm going to need your dad's permission since you're still a minor."

"Okay."

"Hey, Maggie," Natalie called, "Do me a favor and call Y/N's dad for me. I just might need permission to run some additional tests."

"You got it."

You got on the bed in the treatment room and allowed Natalie to listen to your heart and lungs. "Were you part of the crush?" she asked. "Did you get the wind knocked out of you? Is that why you passed out?"

"No, I got dizzy before we could get inside. I felt nauseous, too, but I think that was just from period cramps."

"The paramedics said you were dehydrated and that they had to administer an IV. Have you been eating and drinking properly? I know it's hot and that can cause you to pass out. Other than that factor, have you been eating and drinking normally?"

"Yes," you lied.

"Okay, I'm just going to need to get your height and weight and other vitals before we continue."

You nodded and followed her to where she took your height and weight. She wrote it down and you started to walk out, but she stopped you. "Uh, Y/N, come with me."

You followed her to the doctor's lounge where she handed you her sweatshirt. "Why are you giving me this?"

"You bled through your shorts. There's free pads and tampons in the bathroom if you don't have any on you."

You nodded. "Thank you."

"Meet me back here once you're finished."

"Okay."

When you got into the bathroom, you took all the pads and tampons you could fit in your shorts pockets after you had finished changing your dirty one.

Now, it was time for your great escape. No one would see you; they were all too busy treating other patients and worrying about the press.

You were almost out into the waiting room, but then a voice stopped you.

"Y/N?"

Shit. Jay.

You stopped in your tracks but then continued walking.

"Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around, hoping you wouldn't have to spill all the secrets about what's been happening at home.

***

"Poor guy," Erin said as she and Jay exited Sharon Goodwin's office. "He thought what he was going was right."

"I probably would've done the same thing if I were in his shoes," Jay agreed. "I mean, if I thought I saw a guy with an AR-15 in a movie theater and then thought the shots from the movie were coming from the gun, I sure as hell would've acted. Not that my service weapon can shoot bullets off as much as my sniper, but I'd try. Try and save civilians."

"Jay." Erin placed a hand on his arm. "You're not in Afghanistan anymore."

"I know. There's just some sick and twisted people in this world. Why would someone go into a theater with a leaf blower anyway? With all the mass shootings that have happened, that's probably the stupidest idea I've heard."

"I agree with you. But he's just a kid. He didn't ask to get shot. But, if I were in that teacher's shoes, I'd probably do the same thing and draw my gun."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows as he saw someone walking towards the exit of the ED and towards the waiting room. She had shorts and a t-shirt on with a burgundy sweatshirt tied around her waist. Jay wouldn't have given it a second thought, but he knew you had the same gray beat-up Converse because he had gotten them for you for a birthday present two years ago and you always wore the same polka dot scrunchie when you needed your hair to be in a bun and needed it to be tight.

"Is that?..." Erin trailed off.

"I think so," Jay answered, quickening his pace to catch up with you before you got out of the ED and he lost sight of you due to the number of people in the waiting room. "Y/N!" he yelled.

The girl he thought was you froze for a split second and then continued walking, this time at a faster pace. That was all the confirmation he needed. "Y/N, I know you heard me. Come back."

You sighed and turned around.

"I was going to tell you," you mumbled once you were in front of him.

He scoffed and crossed his arms across his chest. "Yeah? And when were you planning on calling Dad? You know you're a minor so a parent needs to be notified."

"Y/N!" Natalie yelled. "I thought you left, I was so close to getting security to look for you. We couldn't get a hold of your dad and were going to call Jay since he's your secondary emergency contact, but he's here now, so if both of you could follow me then that'd be great."

"You got it from here, Erin?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, text me if you need me to pick you up and bring you back to the district."

"Will do. Don't let Voight bust my balls because I skipped out."

"I'll tell him Y/N had a medical emergency. He'll understand."

"Thanks."

You, Natalie, and Jay walked back into the treatment room where Natalie had been previously treating you.

"First of all, let me just say it was not a medical emergency," you told your brother.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you here?" he asked.

"I was feeling nauseous."

"And you came to the ED just because of some nausea?" He raised an eyebrow. He so knew you were lying.

Meanwhile, Will was walking out of a trauma room after Rhodes brought a victim up to surgery.

"Hey. You hear?" Reese asked as she walked up to the doctor. "The kid at the theater, the one who got shot, he didn't have a gun, he had a leaf blower."

"What?" Will asked, stunned. He had worked on that kid and knew that it wasn't good.

"Yeah, turns out it was some kind of prank." She was about to turn around to leave, but then stopped. "Oh, and your sister's here. Treatment one."

"What? Why?"

"I think she passed out or something. Dr. Manning's in there with her right now."

"Thanks, Reese."

Will barged into your treatment room. "So, she comes into the ED and nobody has the common decency to even notify me?" he asked rhetorically.

"You were busy treating other patients, Will. I was going to get around to it eventually," Natalie said.

"Natalie, please just finish explaining what happened. Or just start from the beginning because Will's here now," Jay suggested, not wanting to have to break up an argument between the two doctors.

Now it was Will who was the one who crossed his arms over his chest.

"So, Will, what happened was that Y/N passed out. She was almost inside the movie theater, but she passed out, so she didn't go in."

"The movie theater where the shooting happened?" Jay asked. You nodded. "Jesus, kid, if you would've gotten inside, you would've given both me and Will heart attacks."

"Sorry. But, I'm glad I didn't get that far."

"Yeah, us too," Will agreed. "So, why'd she pass out?"

"Can I talk to you two for a minute? Outside?"

They nodded. "Be right back," Jay told you.

"So, what's going on?" Jay asked once the three were safely outside of the room and out of earshot from you.

"Have you noticed anything strange with her eating habits lately? Any skipping meals? Going to the bathroom right after meals? Not wanting to eat?" Natalie asked the two brothers.

"No, nothing," Jay answered. "Granted, we don't eat with her a lot because she lives with our dad and we both live on our own."

"Okay, because since her physical check-up a month and a half ago, Y/N's lost fifteen pounds."

"Fifteen?" Will asked, flabbergasted.

"I thought she looked smaller, but I just thought I was hallucinating from lack of sleep because of all the crazy cases we've had," Jay said.

"No, she's lost fifteen pounds since her last check-up," Dr. Manning reiterated.

"So, what are you saying?" Will asked. "Our sister's anorexic? Bulimic?"

"I'm not saying any of those yet. But, I talked to Dr. Charles while Y/N was in the bathroom and she said to try and have her eat something, like the greasiest thing you can find in the cafeteria, and see what she does. We'll even leave the room after to chat and I'll have Maggie keep an eye on the bathrooms to see if she goes in there. If she refuses to eat or freaks out over it, then we might be dealing with anorexia. If she goes into the bathroom after, we might be dealing with bulimia. Or, it could be a combination of the two or just possibly her trying to lose weight. Has she ever mentioned wanting to lose weight to either of you?"

"No, not all," Jay answered. "Even when we went out after her last day of school, which I think was about two weeks after she had that physical, she ate a ton and she didn't go to the bathroom right after."

"But you did go home right after," Will pointed out.

"Yeah."

"But, with some bulimics, if they know that the food has already been digested, they won't try to purge. And, it sounds like the food had time to digest."

"Alright, I'll go grab her a bacon cheeseburger."

"And a side of mac n cheese," Jay suggested. "She loves that stuff." Will started to walk out, but Jay stopped him once more. "Can you pick me up a bacon cheeseburger, too? I'm hungry."

Will rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but just so you know, you're paying me back."

"I know," Jay said and then went back inside the treatment room.

"Where's Will?" you asked.

"He's getting you some food. How does a bacon cheeseburger and mac n cheese sound?"

God, your mouth watered just at the thought of the bacon cheeseburger alone. The juicy patty, melty cheese, and crispy bacon, yum. And, you hadn't had a burger in who knows how long.

"That sounds amazing honestly," you answered.

"Okay, good because that's what Will's getting you." He paused. "Is everything okay with Dad? Everything good at home?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," you lied.

"Did someone tell you that you were fat at all?"

Shit, he knew I'd lost weight. "No," you answered. "I guess I'm not just mindlessly snacking when I'm doing homework anymore. It's not like I'm trying to lose weight."

No way were you going to tell him that there was rarely any food in the house, not here anyway.

"Okay, good," Jay answered. Then, he looked out of the room to see Will talking with Natalie. But, they were close enough that you could hear them, so you turned your attention to the two as well.

"Hey, Nat," Will said, carrying a bag with three cheeseburgers and a side of mac n cheese.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"I'm thinking, I only live a mile from you. So, when you go into labor, call me. I'll drive you here."

"Thanks, but...you know it could be three in the morning, right?"

"Sleep's overrated anyway."

Then, Will made his way back into your treatment room. "I wanna take you to the hospital," Jay mocked. "Very smooth, Will, very smooth."

"Will's got a crush, Will's got a crush," you said in a sing-song voice.

"Would you two knuckleheads keep it down? And no, I do not have a crush, I was just trying to be helpful."

Jay scoffed. "Yeah right. You totally have a crush on her, man. Now, give us the food and we won't say anything."

***

"Everything seem normal?" Natalie asked Will as Jay was still sitting with you after the three of you had finished your food.

"Yeah, she ate a little faster than normal, but we waited an hour and she didn't even get up to go to the bathroom, so I don't think that's the issue. She told Jay she wasn't trying to lose weight. She said she just wasn't mindlessly eating anymore when she was doing homework. But, I don't think that could make her lose fifteen pounds. Do you?"

"No. But unfortunately, given her height and age, she still has a normal BMI, so we can't do anything."

"Yeah, I get it. Me and Jay will keep an eye on her. It was around this time when our dad just kind of checked out on parenting us."

"What do you mean?"

"He wouldn't cook or really help us with anything. But, it was okay because our Mom was still around, so she'd cook and help us with things. He just thought we were old enough to deal with stuff on our own."

"Things that a teenager without another parent still needs help with."

"Exactly."

Jay poked his head out of the room. "Everything good? Y/N's asking when she can leave."

Will rolled his eyes. "Wonder where she gets that from."

"Shut up."

"I'll grab you the discharge papers," Natalie said and then walked to a nurse's station.

Just then, Will's pager went off. "I gotta go." He fished into the pocket of his scrubs. "You can take my car home and then just come pick me up from work and we can drive back to the district to get your truck. That way you don't have to bug Erin."

"Thanks, man. Go save some lives."

Natalie came back and handed him the discharge papers.

"Thanks, Nat. Me and Will will be sure to keep an eye on her, maybe have her over for dinner once or twice a week to monitor her eating habits."

"That's a good idea. Good luck with all this. Will told me that this was around the time that your dad clocked out on you, so maybe pay him a visit when Y/N's not there and check? I don't know if that's something you'd want to do or not."

Jay nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

"No problem."

Jay signed the discharge papers and then walked back into the room. "Good news."

"We can leave?" you asked excitedly as you sat up.

"We can leave," he confirmed.

***

You got out of the car and stood on the stoop of your house, Jay right next to you. "Jay," you started, "I have to tell you something."

"Okay, what is it? You can tell me anything."

You opened your mouth to tell him that there was barely any food in the house and that your dad refused to buy you feminine hygiene products because, by his logic, if he had another son, he wouldn't need to buy them, so you should buy them yourself.

But then, the door opened, revealing your dad.

"I was just going to say thanks for staying with me at the hospital. I would've left if you didn't stop me."

"You're welcome."

"Care to tell me where you've been?" your dad asked.

You knew he was just putting on a show because Jay was there.

"I was at the park and then me and Emma were going to see a movie and then--" your phone buzzed, alerting you that you had a text message.

"I've got it from here, Y/N. Dad, can I come inside?"

Pat Halstead nodded and you walked inside followed by your brother. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change," you said.

As you walked past the kitchen, you noticed a bunch of grocery bags, all of them full. He must've gone grocery shopping. At least you didn't have to worry about food for the next few days. But, you didn't know if he just did that because he finally listened to his voice mails and heard that you were in the hospital and were worried that they were going to find out that he was an unfit parent or because he finally came to his senses and realized that he was still responsible for you because you were a minor, which meant he needed to have food in the house.

As you walked upstairs, you checked your phone. It was Emma's neighbor asking if you could start helping her with kettle corn this Saturday. You responded with a yes because now, if your dad went back to not buying groceries, at least you'd be able to buy some for yourself.

A/N: Sorry this one was so short! It's kind of just to foreshadow the next installment of this. And, in the next installment, I will probably combine Seasons of PD: Season 4 and Seasons of Med: Season 2 because the storylines kind of go together. Anyway, thank you for reading! Please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to the taglist, just tell me and I’ll be happy to add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

[jaeminvore]

PLSSS I tried to look for it and could not find it fr💀💀

Get well soon love 🥺 fr, I had it last week and was out for the count, was fr crying bleeding loosing 💀💔 take care of yourself and rest!!! 🗣🗣🗣

PLS DEUCE IS TOP TIERRR (as are all your works), Jay and Y/n were so frustrating at some times but it was so funny, as always Sunoo was one of the highlights of the fic fr, he had no Chill and I was there for it 100% 😫💀

Haechan is just 🥺🥺 fr, I love that so much, but tbh his red hair or his black hair>>> pink is a close third tho 😫 but yes fr, smthn about pink makes them look saurr pretty like even Jeno and Jaemin's pink hair had me 😦😦😦 I believe in pink supremacy fr

Still thinking about the time Jaemin spent all his money on getting a pink gun on PUBG so his character was only wearing underwear 💀💀💀 as he should tho 🗣

Lately I'm been saur into Heeseung tho like his dark hair 😦 I feel like the next couple things I post might be about him fr, he has me weak 😫

And ofc!!! You're an amazing writer and deserve all the love and praise mwah 💖💖💖

I just want this cold GONE! I hate being congested sm 😭 i can barely taste the flavors of my food like… let me eat in peace damn 🗿

Jay and Y/N provided quality entertainment from their stupidity AND refusal to talk things out like adults LMAOOO Sunoo again being the icon he was followed by Jungwon suffering because of Y/N AND HOW CAN WE FORGET ABOUT THE DOWN BAD TRIO 😭😭 i miss every second of then freaking out at Y/N doing the bare minimum and what id give to go back to that era 💔

Haechan… Haechan is literally the light of my life damn i was lowkey like going thru it (life and all that crazy shit) and the big man upstairs went “hey why don’t I give you this funky little dude (haechan)?” and he’s done a good job providing me some laughs (i adore him sm) AND I SAW THAT OMG DIDN’T JAEMIN BUY THAT PINK GUN WITH HIS OWN MONEY TOO LMAOOOO but gosh YES JAEM AND JENO WITH PINK HAIR ESPECIALLY JENO HELLO?? I WAS SO TAKEN BY BIM he rocked the pink hair and im so sad it didn’t last long 💔

for me ive just been hopping from dream 00’ line + Mark these days LMAOOOOO it’s a struggle screaming and crying about 5 guys HEKFJSNS and rn im writing a Jaemin fic and it’s uhhh a slight struggle HAHAHAH

and thank you again ur so sweet 🥺 what have u been up to lately??

[readingismyoxygen]

A liar, bug and bird ch3

ch1 / ch2 / ch3 / ch4 / ch5 / ch6

The next few days weren’t that remarkable. Damian had school, she had work that needed to be done and Dick and Jay continued to guide the class, because for every event the ‘Akuma Class’ had planned, their guides ‘couldn’t make it’, something Tikki had planned with the two eldest, but would deny to the end of her days (‘I’m the personification of Creation, I would never’). Tim and Bruce were mostly at WE, because a new investor had shown interest in the robot doctor they were developing, so that required a lot of their time at the moment. Everything changed four days later. How exactly? Well, Harley and Ivy decided to drop by the Wayne Botanical Gardens at the same time as the class.

“Well lookie here, there’s some new folk in town Ives! So, what’cha doin’ here? No one comes to good ol’ Gotham without good reason!”

The  class looked stunned at the appearance of the two women.

"U-Uh... Class trip?" One of them managed to get out, unsure as of why exactly these two showed any interest in them. Of course, they didn't know Mari had practically befriended almost half of the rogues by now. 

"For realsies now? Ye're Mari's class arent'cha? If this is a class trip, then where's yer class rep?"

"Harls, you're scaring them, give them a little space to breathe", Ivy sighed, used to Harley's antics. While she was talking, Harley had been getting closer and closer to the group of teens with her baseball bat swinging around, and all of them looked quite uncomfortable.

"Y-You know Marinette?" Alya stuttered.

"Yeah 'course I do, she's a real doll, isn't she Ives?"

"She is", Ivy answered with a hum and a soft smile. "She really helps my plants grow, you know, and is so respectful towards nature, really surprised me when I first met her".

Harley got even more enthusiastic. "Oooh, tell them how we met her, that was sooo adorable!" She squealed. At this point the class just stood there, ready to accept whatever was coming for them and too surprised to really react to what the two Sirens were saying.

Ivy softly hummed again. "I believe it was late at night, and we just had dinner at the Italian place four blocks from here. We made a detour here because I felt something going on with the plants, but all we could find was a tiny slip of a girl just talking about her day to the gardenias over there. I swear they started growing just from being in her presence."

"See! I told y'all she was a doll! Plants love her, animals love her -ye  can ask her boyfriend 'bout that, he'll tell ya- and even the rogues all love her! She's declared as off-limits by at least six of them for anyone to hurt her!"

At the last statement, Lila got an idea.

"You mean Marinette  is involved with criminals? I-I always knew there was something off about her, but for her to be that sketchy, I n-never would have guessed!" she exclaimed.

“Honestly, the only thing that does surprise m is that Marislut managed to get a boyfriend. If anything, he must be  just as bad as her, who else would ever like a bully like that bitch?”

Harley and Ivy just looked at each other, at Jason and Dick (who were really trying to hold in their laughter), then they looked back at each other and just started giggling like crazy.

“Th-they don’t know who he is, do they”, Ivy managed to get out eventually.

“Not a clue”, Jason grinned.

“Ooooh boy, this is gonna be great”, Harley grinned back deviously.

The whole class just looked confused. How could they not? Two of the Sirens showed up who apparently know about their class and they know Marinette, they know her boyfriend and are just laughing at them with the two guys who have crashed all of their tours for some reason. What was going on?

[kunderdogs]

Take A Chance IV

Simon Dominic (AOMG) x Y/N (Reader) Genre: Romance / Angst Count: 2.4k+ Warnings: None Rating: Mature (suggestive, swearing) Summary: Who would’ve thought a one night stand with Simon D would turn into FWB? It only gets more complicated when you developed feelings, against your better judgement.

Chapter One. | Chapter Two. | Chapter Three. | Chapter Four. | Chapter Five. | Chapter Six. | Chapter Seven. |

Over the course of two weeks, you and Kiseok had a pretty good routine going on. He didn't come over every night, more like every other but he called and texted you nearly every chance he got.

At first you didn't think anything of it. He would ask you how your day was, if you ate and how you were feeling. Nothing crazy or out of pocket. It was innocent most of the time, and usually followed up by making plans to see you later on.

There was nothing you could do to stop your heart from bursting out of your chest each time you heard a small chime. Nicole had glared at you once when you two were on lunch and you scrambled over the table to reach your phone.

"Is that Lover Boy?" She teased. You were thankful that, out of all the nicknames she could've used - and she had a lot of them -, lover boy was the one she had stuck with. For now.

"What?" You feigned ignorance, "I have no idea what you're talking about. That's...Amazon. My package was delivered."

She smirked, sipping her iced tea, "I'm sure it was."

After a few days, Kiseok's texts became a little more...risky. You had no problem with sexting. When in the right setting, it was hot but he would send you wild shit while you're in the middle of a meeting, or when you're trying to finish up the last of your work before heading to see him. Usually you could play it off then retreat to the bathroom to respond but when he sent a voice recording of that damned deep voice of his, you stood from your desk and went to the stairs corridor to call and cuss him out for getting you bothered at eleven in the morning. You promised punishment as soon as you were off and Kiseok was, to say the least, intrigued. That night he was stunned at how different you could be if he gave you the reigns. Days after that, he still catches himself staring after you with amazement.

From that point on, he pretty much figured out that he could make you do nearly anything with a certain voice. It was a dangerous game that you two played. It only escalated when he coaxed you to touch yourself in the private bathroom at your company with him on FaceTime. You were lucky that you had finished in record-breaking time, before any of your coworkers (or God forbid, your boss) found out what exactly you were doing.

By the time the third week rolled around, Nicole had stopped hounding you for details of your hookups. Instead, she cautioned every now again. Typically, it was the same thing.

"Don't get too attached."

"He's a celebrity. You know how society is to foreigners dating celebs."

"What if he's a player? I just don't want you to get hurt."

While you appreciated her concern, you knew it was already too late not to get attached to him. Other than text you constantly, Kiseok did little things that had your head and heart confused.

On his bad days, he would complain to you about what happened and asked for your advice, if you had any to give, on the topic. He joked and teased you just like a friend would and willingly showed you pieces of his personal and work life as well. It was subtle at first - videos of him in the studio and then pictures of his friends when he was telling you a story about them. Each time, he would bring you food or have something delivered so you both got to learn each other's eating and drinking habits. You had seen him tipsy but he made it a point not to over do it in front of you.

Kiseok was also very considerate of you and your time, which you appreciated more than anything else. He didn't hound you if you didn't text back immediately and understood if you were swamped at the office or had to cancel that one time because the work would not be done until late in the night. He just told you to take care of yourself and later, had a pizza ordered to your job. It was around that time that you noticed you were falling a little too fast. You hadn’t admitted it out-loud, instead you chose to ignore those feelings completely. Hopefully, they would magically disappear into thin air.

You both didn't get into intimate details of your life. It was only by a weird stroke of luck that he hadn't found out about Cookie. She usually called right after you got off work anyway. Kiseok was busy during the day so when you went out to meet with your daughter and her father on your off days, he was in the middle of his own jam-packed schedule. Really, he was only available during the night time so you were more of a booty call than a FWB at this point. Neither of you had defined the "relationship" so far though, so it was hard to put a name to it right now.

It was Saturday when you woke up early and got dressed in casual clothes to go with Cookie to the zoo. Her, her father and his girlfriend were flying back to the US tonight so they wanted to do one last thing to fill the hours before the boring plane ride. You had cried last night as you thought of being without your mini-me for two whole months but his family hadn't seen her since she was much younger. You knew she would have fun, especially since his parents were dying to take her to Disneyland. You wished you could take an extended vacation and go with them but you had used most of your vacation days to take Cookie to Disney World for her birthday and that was only a couple of months ago.

Either way, you were sadder these past two days and thankfully Kiseok was swamped with an upcoming project so he hadn't been over in about four days. You didn't have to explain your blood-shot eyes.

You had so much fun at the zoo with your daughter that you didn't bother touching your phone. Your ex had taken most of the pictures for you all with promises to send them to you. It was around two in the afternoon when you four decided to go to a nearby burger joint and get some lunch. Cookie was shoving her face with chicken tenders so you decided to check your phone to pass the time. There were a few new gray message bubbles.

'Hey sexy thang ;)' 10:09AM

'This song better go double platinum with all the work I'm puttin in this bitch' 11:32AM

'Don't tell me you're asleep still?' 11:38AM

'I'm going to find a way to get your sexy ass as a video vixen one of these days' 11:47AM

'Argggh PD is calling me back. Text me when you wake up' 11:51AM

'We should be done by 2. Loco is taking me to some new place for food then I'm free. Can I swing by your place?' 11:52AM

Of course they were all from Kiseok. Not even your mother texted you as much as he did and although you liked the attention, right now you wanted to focus on Cookie since you won't physically see her for weeks after this. You frowned to yourself, feeling tears well up in your eyes for the millionth time today. You were going to miss her so much.

Composing yourself, you quickly typed a reply back. 'Hey. I'm up, just a little busy today. I won't be able to see you tonight. Maybe tomorrow if you're free?' 2:16PM

With that, you locked your phone and slid it in your pocket, once again forgetting about it soon after.

Your ex's girlfriend, Mia, nudged you slightly when she saw how pensive you were. "Hey, you okay? Was that work?"

Shaking your head, you took a breath, "No, I'm just gonna miss having my best friend around."

Cookie popped up, french fries sticking out of her mouth, "I'm gonna miss you too, mommy!" Her curly hair was pulled into two pony-tails, coils springing happily as she devoured the food in record-breaking time. "Don't cry! I'll make daddy buy you a Tiana dress so we can match!"

You laughed at the sight, tears pooling in your eyes again as her father pouted. "Ok, sweetie, I'd love to match with you."

About thirty minutes later, you all were getting ready to leave when Mia said she'd swing by and grab the rental car from the parking lot. They had to go to back to their hotel to pack. You all said your goodbyes, tears flowing freely between you and Mia. Cookie looked concerned for you as she wiped your tears, kissing your cheeks to reassure you.

Your ex hugged you and thanked you again, his eyes sparkling with happiness to have his precious daughter with him. You wished you could go with them once again as you watched their car drive off.

Back at home, you were greeted with a depressingly quiet apartment. It was cold and dark, something that was going to be a common occurrence for the coming weeks. Sniffling, you made your way to Cookie’s room, scanning her pink room with a blurring gaze. You were slowly walking around the room when you felt your phone ring.

It was Mia.

"Hello?" You called, wondering what could've happened in the last hour since you parted ways.

"Hey, Y/N, Cookie is freaking out because her father forgot to ask you to bring her Peach doll," Mia nearly shouted over the distraught crying in the background. You could hear your ex trying to console Cookie, to no avail. "Can you meet us at the airport with it?"

Searching the room, you spotted the Princess Peach doll on her bed and nearly sprinted out of the door. "I got it. When is your flight again?"

"Boarding is in another hour and a half."

Shit. You scrambled to snatch your keys and shoved the doll in your purse. "Okay, I'll leave now and meet you at departures, okay? Tell Cookie mommy's on the way."

You hung up and made a mad dash down to the parking garage. The airport was about a forty-five minute drive from your place, not including traffic or any other delays like the predictable Seoul rush hour.

At his own apartment, Simon was lounging on his couch, laptop on his chest as he worked. Loco was right next to him, on Face Time with the one and only Jay Park as he was at the airport.

"Have a safe flight," Loco was saying before Kiseok slid shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

"Get there and back in once piece, boss," the oldest one teased and Jay laughed. Unfortunately, he was distracted a little too long because he suddenly collided into a woman. The phone fell, face up and there were suddenly two faces on the screen.

His body guards reacted immediately and made sure the two were alright. Mildly interested, the two on the other side of the line watched on.

"I-I'm so sorry, oh God, I'm just in a rush." The woman's voice was so eerily familiar to Kiseok that he took a second to strain to hear it over the airport commotion.

Jay was off to the side, picking up his passport and other belongings that fell. "Nah, it's alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Again, I'm so sorry I wasn’t- Is this your phone?"

Without further ado, the woman picked up Jay's phone, and Kiseok felt his eyes bulge out of his skull when her face came into view.

What was Y/N doing in the airport? Loco didn't notice the other's tense reaction and simply waved at the stranger. You didn't seem to glance at the screen, yet they could easily notice your tear-stained cheeks, and just passed it back to the owner.

Over Jay reassuring her that it was fine for the third time, a loud and very male voice yelled. "Y/N! There you are!"

With another apology, you left the frame and turned towards the male voice. Jay watched the interaction for a second before continuing on his way, which was conveniently right past you. Loco was talking to the CEO like that didn't just happen when Kiseok saw you in the frame again. He was positive it was you this time around.

You wore that over-sized gray sweater that he thought was so cute on you, hair tied messily and hugging a handsome foreigner tightly. He pulled back from the hug and pushed back some pieces of your hair from your face before smiling, his lips moving. Staring up to him, you nodded, wiping your face with your sleeves. He brought you back to his chest, arms around your shoulders.

Involuntarily, Kiseok felt his jaw clench at the display of affection. His eyes tore from the phone quicker than he meant to, causing his junior to stare at him in confusion.

For the rest of the night, Loco was warily watching as the older man was fuming next to him. There was hardly any movement from his part and he was sure he was in a coma until Simon wiped out his phone, tapping it a few times before pressing it to his ear.

“Nayoung? It’s been a while. Are you free right now?”

Almost choking on his coke, Hyukwoo coughed. Why was Kiseok calling her, of all people? Once the call wrapped up, he nervously voiced his concern, “Hyung...Why are you calling her at this hour..?”

He didn’t get an immediate response, instead, Kiseok stood and glared with the power of a thousand suns at the TV in front of them.

“Am I not single? Can I not do what I want, with whoever I want, too?”

Without any further explanation, he stormed out of the apartment all together.

Hyukwoo stared after the front door in confusion. “Too?”

[calypsoff]

Twenty One. Part 3

Dragging the chair from the vanity table, Robyn hasn’t moved or said anything yet and the aura in the room is pretty thick. The only thick aura I am used too is when it’s sexual tension but this aura, it’s heavy. This whole room is seeping hurt and pain, it’s like Robyn has been living in this room without even allowing air to enter it. Like she has been holding onto something, I didn’t place the chair too close, I want to give her space. Sitting down on the chair, placing the bear on my lap facing Robyn “we are listening” she smiled, she actually smiled, and it was most pleasing to see, it was a slight smirk but something “can I ask? Like before you say anything?” maybe I should let her speak but I need to ask her this “sure” I hope this doesn’t stop her from wanting to tell me “why did you let me go and why with all the sudden lies, why did you do that to me and made me look stupid?” that really just pissed me off that she even did that to me, I didn’t deserve that from her at all “if I speak will you listen to me, I mean listen to me and don’t speak over me? You will let me finish off without getting annoyed with what I say, without you getting up in a huff. I will tell you everything, but I need you to promise me this because this is hard on me not you. You don’t know how hard this is for me Chris and when I am finished speaking you can then either walk away or I don’t know do what you need to do. And no I haven’t cheated, I never cheated. This has nothing to do with cheating, I want to mention that before you jump because I know your mind. You are thinking I cheated, I never but it’s my journey so please let me talk, if you love me” now I am thinking what the fuck could it be, this is hard because I am thinking all sorts, but I do love Robyn so much “I promise” she breathed out, like that was hard for her to even do.

I didn’t, well don’t want to tell him, but I don’t feel free and he can be so nasty so I am expecting the worst for him, to even say it’s my fault because he never wanted that, but I need to free myself, but I will never be free. I have been so empty inside since, I am so lost within myself. I am walking with no soul, I have frantically been searching for something to tell me that I will be ok but there is nothing, I haven’t mourned, I am still just reliving my moment, reliving the fact I really just killed my own baby, and nobody can tell me otherwise “I am listening?” Chris said breaking my train of thought “I came back to California and threw myself into work, preparations for this worst mistake of my life, preparations took over, from day to night. Everything was so rushed because I wanted to be with you in Mexico. I wanted to spend time with you for your birthday so my schedule was compact, and when I could, I slept but that was short lived because I had not much time to prepare, this is a big deal. First time any record label is doing such a thing and I felt half prepared for that moment, so I just rehearsed as much as I could, helped prepare. Then yes, I neglected you because you were the easiest too, I neglected my own family but maybe I should have thought. I could have told Tina to text you but it’s not her job too, you say I could have text you but what would one text do for you? I knew deep down that you would be annoyed, I had so much going on. Last minute album things, I was late on my period, but I put it behind me because my work, it comes first and I needed to excel, I needed to perform and make people happy.”

“I arrived on the plane, greeted the fans and paparazzi, journalist that came to hound me. I got on the plane and you weren’t there, but you were on the plane. Take off, before I could react Jay Brown told me to sit, I have to sit because it’s take off. We took off, I went into first class to speak to some journalists, I have to do it. I have no choice in that, but you weren’t there and then I get asked, I get asked why my boyfriend is in the back and why he attacked another journalist. Jay took me out of the situation, and I was angry at you, Mel said she would go and get you and then you know the rest because you came. But my mood died when I got back to California, I was being erratic, I was being mean, hurtful. My body was being pushed so much that I ended up being robotic, I was pushing myself so much because I needed to impress, I had too, this is what I get paid for. Record label spending millions for this but I ignored myself, my body. And we had that disagreement, it was on me. You have never been or done something like this before, so this was me, my fault. We were angry at each other through the whole thing, while I was angry I had to perform, I was going through changes I could feel, I was dropping dead sleeping. I don’t even remember how I got on the plane, I didn’t until you said I carried you. Carried me? I was confused, I couldn’t eat because I felt sick. But I had to party, I had to show that I was having fun, I looked to you, but you weren’t having fun. You were just there to catch me; you saw the bad side of it and I get why you hated it. Oh my god” I breathed, I swallowed hard, this is so hard “then it’s getting to the end, and I feel even worse. My feet are sore, my whole body is. I am drinking, smoking. Taking painkillers” I dragged out, my baby had no chance of living when I was acting like that and I am a shit person. I knew, I should have known, my body was screaming help and I pushed myself.

I can feel the tears forming, I can feel the build-up. My stomach is in knots, speaking it out loud is so hard “I was not doing well” I swallowed hard “I really wasn’t” my voice broke “I wasn’t, and it’s the last date. My album is out but I have no strength in me to even care, the last date. I got backstage for the last date and fell to my knees as I got there, it was empty the room. The pain was horrible, so horrible I fell to my knees and then Mel came behind me and asked me am I ok, lifting me up. She locked the door; I don’t know where you were or the entourage, but Mel held them off. I am in a daze and I just feel wet, I feel so wet. And I tell Mel, and she drags me up and pulls me to the bathroom and I am bleeding” a stray tear fell “my period started, but this isn’t right. This is painful, but the knocks at the door. Mel helped me, she helped me clean myself up. I was in pain, I had the shakes, the pain was immense, but I prayed to god that he would get me through it, and he did, it got lighter, but I knew it. I did, but I went on stage and performed. And even though I was lost in my own thoughts, I performed. Then we came back to the hotel, you got me the pads I needed, I wasn’t lying about that Chris. I was so scared, Mel told me that I should keep you entertained while we find out what is happening. The blood wasn’t right and I saw something I wish I never saw” my voice strained “I went to the toilet, and that wasn’t no regular period” this is getting so hard, Chris hasn’t moved at all but he did and he moved to sit forward, I can’t believe he remained so silent “I went to the hospital Chris, I was in the hospital that whole night” wiping the tears that fell, my voice strained “I was in the hospital, and the doctor told me I was dehydrated that I need to be put onto a IV line which happened. He then needed to do another blood test” taking in a deep breath, I am trying so hard not to breakdown and cry because I want to get it out “he gave me my results and I knew from when he walked in he was sad for me, I just knew it. When I was on stage, I was singing Stay knowing I was going through a miscarriage, I was losing the baby because of me” my hands are shaking, wiping the tears that fell.

So much is being said that I am lacking on what is happening, maybe I do know but I am playing dumb to it. I am stunned, rubbing my hands together. Looking up at Robyn that is trying to keep herself together, but slowly she is breaking. Her mask is breaking, and the tears are flowing but I am stunned, I can’t even say it. She was pregnant is what I am gathering, the word why nearly slipped from my mouth, but I held it off. I need to just have some air, getting up from the chair. I need some air; she was pregnant, and I just need to gather my thoughts. I wasn’t expecting this, I was expecting her to say this. I walked off without a word, I don’t know what to say. I feel like I have been set up, I have been set up by Mel and her, I am too stunned because I thought she was going to say she cheated on me or some shit but that, a whole baby. I stumbled over my own feet, what felt like a long time I reached the door. Holding onto the handle, the sound hit me. The sound I was blocking from my head space, my heart just dropped hearing Robyn cry. Looking behind me and her crying just involuntary bought tearss to my eyes, the grip on the door handle tightened “Robyn” turning on myself, walking back to Robyn. She is making me cry with the way she is crying “it’s going to be ok” wrapping my arms around her “I am did it to me, I lost our baby because I was being selfish. It didn’t have no chance, I never gave it a chance” rubbing Robyn’ back, she is a wreck, but I am letting her just speak because she needs too.

Placing my hand over hers as I sat down next to Robyn on the bed, using my free hand to rub any excess tears that fell, something so unexpected to me. I have a whole headache now; this was not what I was expecting “so you were pregnant?” I had to ask again; I don’t know why because she doesn’t deserve to relive it, but I just need to hear those words from her “I was pregnant” taking in a sharp breath, not something I wanted in life right now but something I didn’t want Robyn to go through either “so when you were crying on stage, it wasn’t because you were overwhelmed. You knew something was wrong” I just need to hear these words again, it’s hard to digest this because I was stood right there and I was like she is really into this “yes” she mumbled, that is crazy. Moving my hand away from hers, placing my hands over my face. I am just trying to digest this, she was really pregnant, and she lost it, but she performed on that stage when she was going wrong and I left her, but how was I supposed to know. Moving my head back away from my hands “you’re so fucking strong” wrapping my arms around her again “I am really not” this is crazy to me, I can’t believe it and I can’t believe that she was pregnant.

I feel awful “why didn’t you tell me this Robyn, why didn’t you just tell me. I left you at that moment Robyn. I walked away because I was fed up but I feel bad, you dealt with this alone. You was losing a whole baby while singing, I’ve been bad to you” I feel bad “you didn’t want kids and you made that clear, I couldn’t process that and then tell you that I am going through a miscarriage when you are already angry so I just kept it to me. I let you go because I couldn’t, I feel so hallow inside, my stupidity” nodding my head “I know I said that, but I wouldn’t want you to go through pain all on your own, that is not me Robyn. Really isn’t me, why are you sleeping in bloody sheets?” I got up form the bed, I remembered “I uhm, I saw this” Robyn paused shallowing back “I uhm, when I was bleeding excessively, I saw like a bean sized thing. It was tiny and oh my god” Robyn sobbed out resting her head on my chest, wrapping my arms around Robyn slowly. She is hurting so much, like this is some painful cry “stop it” she is making me cry again, I feel bad that I got her pregnant in the first place and then I just left her “you know you wasn’t alone in this, you never were” rocking with Robyn in my arms slowly, cradling Robyn as she cried out.

Closing the bedroom door slowly, Robyn fell asleep. She is cried out and I for one need the air, I waited a little, but she is asleep. Am I a bad guy, this is what keeps going through my mind. Why didn’t I just care, I do care but I just didn’t want a baby just yet, was that so bad of me. Walking down the steps ever so slowly, I am drained and hurt. I slumped down and sat on the step, placing my hands over my face. My reaction to Robyn being pregnant would have been annoyance but I would have got over it, I didn’t want this for her at all and I feel so bad. I am guilty of disappearing when she was going through that “I guess you know” moving my hands back “I wasn’t expecting that” clenching my jaw, I am angry at me “she was so scared to tell you, the reason being is because she told me you didn’t want kids and she didn’t want you to be mean to her about the whole thing, she didn’t want to hear it when she is going through a miscarriage. Is she asleep?” nodding my head “she is right, but I didn’t want her in pain, that is not my intention. I just requested that we wait it out until I am stable, but it’s happened now, and I feel like shit” what a mess “only you could have done this Chris. I tried so hard, she wasn’t responding to me like she has you, I will leave you alone to think. I am around if you need to talk” I think I have spoken so much, my mind is just so full of information, this is crazy.