#but kurt and ram are so funny so i mean

[leoleolovesdc]

It’s so weird that Heathers the musical toned down so many things from the story (Veronica’s gray morality, JD’s behavior as a whole, Kurt and Ram’s sa on the girls, etc.) but decided to make the Heathers way bigger assholes than they are in the movie.

McNamara doesn’t do anything in the movie, she just goes along with Chandler and kicks Veronica one time at the beginning but then in the musical she’s setting up a fcking date rape??? She goes along with the boys during Sword Fight in Her Mouth and is just a bitch to Veronica all of the time, but everyone in the fandom (and also Veronica somehow) kind of ignores it because she acts innocent.

Duke, even though she isn’t made that much worse from her movie version, (except for the date rape thing with McNamara) is also way more agressive and obnoxious. In the movie, even after Duke turns into a Chandler carbon copy she’s still a funny and likeable character. In the musical she is an asshole even before Chandler dies and her and Veronica keep antogonizing each other from beginning to end when in the 1989 version they were pretty much friends until the last minute.

I think one could make an argument that Duke’s bullying of McNamara is also worse in the musical, but I’m a bit lazy to adress that, so just have in mind that in the musical she’s also more agressive, screaming at Mac at live TV instead of just writing “poor little Heather” on the board.

Chandler in the musical is more of a cartoon character than a person. She screams at everything and everyone for no reason whatsoever, she isn’t necessarily a worse person, just very flanderized and, I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that somone who acts that way could even have a chance of climbing so high on the social hierarchy of a school. Heather in the movie was a bitch, but she knew how to keep up appearances. She acted nice, she played people, she never had to scream to get things to go her way, that was how she managed to be so powerful.

The movie is a parody of teenage narratives, the musical takes that parody and plays it straight. That’s how you get an absurd story where the three mean girls of the school are annoying bitchy monsters and the literal murderer is a sympathetic villain.

I think the Heathers 1989 is interesting because of how literally everyone is a bad person, but at the same time not everyone is the same kind of bad.

You have bad Chandler, an fatphobic asshole who doesn’t care about anything unless it affects her. You have bad Kurt and Ram, homophobic, sexist guys who have raped multiple girls. You have bad McNamara, only follows other people’s leads which makes her act like an asshole. You have bad Duke, is not evil when controlled but when given the opportunity she will become an asshole. You have bad Veronica, an uncaring and murderous person who in the end makes the right choice. And you have bad JD, the kind of guy who he thinks he’s justified in blowing up a whole school just because everyone there kind-of-really-fucking-sucks.

All of these people are assholes and some of them should be in jail, but that doesn’t make the psycho who’s killing them some kind of martyr, he’s still just as bad, maybe even worse, than all ofthe others. The musical makes JD look justifiable.

He was good person, he was just traumatized!

If only he had gotten help!

No. Just no. JD was psycho. He was trying to blow up a school. That’s not justified, doesn’t matter what sort of heroic reason he may have he had. Which, by the way, he didn’t. He wasn’t killing people because they were assholes, he was killing people because he was an asshole.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Yes, I still love all of thsoe characters despite how much shit I talked about all of them, sorry this got long, one thing lead to another, and now I have spent like two hours writing this and my arms hurt from holding an ipad. Bye.

[toxinoire]

Feeling inspired so if Heathers the Musical was filmed on a set.

Director: And, action!

Veronica: A future gas station attendant.

Kurt: ....

Kurt: ...You have a zit right there.

Veronica: That wasn't your line.

Kurt: I know, I forgot my line.

Director: WAIT keep that there. That is perfect!

Veronica and Kurt: What-

~~~~~

Heather: If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important.

Heather:

Heather: Pfft-

Heather: Heather!

Heather: Sorry, sorry. I can't help it because now I am imagining you holding a meat cleaver trying to measure Veronica's angles.

Director: This is the 75th take.

~~~~~

Heather: Honey whatcha waiting for-

Heather: *push* SHUT UP HEATHER!

Heather: *falls*

Heather: Ow.

Heather: Oh crap wait-

~~~~~

Everyone: Holyyyy shiiiitttt

Veronica:

Veronica: Crap, wait I forgot my que, sorry.

~~~~~

Heather: VERONICA DON'T FORGET THE CORN NUTS IT'S NOT A PARTY WITHOUT CORN NUTS!

Veronica:

Heather:

Both: Pft-

Director: Damn it you two.

~~~~~

Ram: Why do you gotta be so weird all the time-

Martha: Says the guy who wears his underwear for half the musical.

Ram: Martha please stop, we need to get through this scene.

~~~~~

Heather: My d---'s bigger than John Lennon!

Director: HEATHER STOP-

~~~~

Kurt: Veronica, please take this seriously.

Veronica: Kinda hard to when you're singing about balls and well, you two are actually gentleman in real life.

~~~~

Kurt and Ram: Big sword fight in her mouth~

Martha: How do you even fit two d!cks in one mouth?

Heather: Martha, you're not even in this scene.

~~~~

JD: We can start and finish war- *drops gun* Oh shit.

Kurt, in a spiderman position on the fence: Hah you dropped your- *falls* AH

~~~~

Veronica: Shouldn't you three be dead, why are you in this scene?

Heather: The director thought it would be funny for Kurt and Ram to attend their own funerals.

~~~~

Miss Flemming: *reading the lyrics for Shine A Light* Do...Do I have to say this?

Director: Yeah.

Miss Flemming: "I faked it" Did you forget we casted my real husband for this-

~~~~

Heather: Are you saying Westerburg is a bad place?!

Heather: No I- *starts laughing*

Heather: Heather, come on.

Heather: Sorry, it's kinda weird to see you be mean when you're the nicest person ever.

Heather: We need to get through this scene.

Heather: Okay, okay. Bully me, give me your best.

Heather: Oh my gosh Heather.

~~~~

Martha: *practicing* I took that scab and put in a loc- Okay, I don't want to say that.

Director: You have too.

Martha: My character is supposed to be an innocent bean, not a creep.

Director: Because she's not a creep.

Martha: No one fucking puts a scab in a locket!

~~~~~

Veronica: This is it! I won't cry-

JD: But I would.

Veronica: Jason stop interrupting me while I sing this song is very hard to sing.

~~~~~

Veronica: How am I supposed to take this seriously when Heather's in a kimono and Kurt and Ram are in their underwear posing like 🧍🏻‍♀️

~~~~~

JD: I WAS MEANT TO BE YOOOOUUUURRRSSSSS

Veronica: I'm in the closet-

JD: Veronica, stop.

~~~~~

Veronica: I wish you'd come with me!

JD: I wish I had more TNT!

Veronica:

JD:

Both: *starts laughing*

Director: Damn it! Take 67!

~~~~~

JD: Our love is Gooooooddddd

Veronica: Say hi to God.

Heather³, backstage: Kaboom~

~~~~~

All: BEAUTIFUUUUUULLLLLL

Director: CUT!

Everyone: Oh thank goodness.

Heather: That was a hard note to hold.

[oh-goddess-of-chaos]

⠀ 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 – 𝐣. 𝐝. 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ✧‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (navi. & masterlist. & tag. )

「 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 」 yandere!jason dean 𝒙 female!reader

「 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 」 in which you try to break up with jason dean, but you find that doing so is a lot harder than you anticipated.

「 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 」 man-handling, murder / death, manipulation, toxic / abusive relationship, unconsensual kissing, threatening, swearing, generally psychotic behavior, implied / referenced stalking, general yandere themes.

「 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 」 1.2k

「 𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 .⁺ ˖ ⌒ this one's a bit on the shorter side, but it was fun to write!

"You killed her."

Those were the only words you could think to utter staring at your deranged ex-partner. "You fucking killed her, didn't you?"

In spite of your current rage and distress, all J. D. could seem to do was offer you a devilish grin and a smirk. "Well, I wouldn't say killed her, just... I put her out of her misery, is all. Charity work, really."

"You did it. You murdered my best friend. Do you think this is a joke?"

"Well, it is quite funny, if I do say so myself."

You weren't quite sure what you were feeling at the moment. Anger was one thing, but heartbroken, too, for you had lost the person that was closest to you.

And yet, your inner turmoil aside, you felt a terrible, terrible smile slither its way across your face - a not because you were happy by any stretch - the situation you found yourself in was by no means one that'd cause you any feelings of joy - but simply because you had no idea what else to do.

"She was right. I should have stayed away from you. You're not a rebel. You're fucking psychotic."

"Well, you say tomato, I say 'to-mah-to'."

You grated your teeth together. "Just get out, J. D." You were much too tired to play any of J. D.'s mind games. You just wanted him gone. And for a moment - for one beautiful moment - he seemed to consider doing what you asked. But, alas, he was never one for folding so easily.

"No."

You drew in a sharp breath. "Excuse me?"

J. D. took a step closer to you. You held your ground, hoping to give off the impression that you weren't intimidated by what he might do; you knew he had a loaded gun on him, and his unpredictable nature didn't ease your racing heart.

"I'm not leaving, and you can't make me."

"J. D., this is my house."

"Well, technically it's your parent's home, and I doubt you want to get them involved, unless you'd like two more of your loved ones with their brains blown out."

You stiffened, your throat tightening up. Upon your lack of a response, J. D.'s mouth curled into a wicked smile. "That's what I thought. Now, how about we both go out to 7-11 and grab a couple of slushies?"

J. D. outstretched his arm in order to grasp your hand, but just as your fingers brushed, you jerked backwards. J. D.'s smile faded.

"Y/n - "

"I'll call the cops - I'll fucking call the cops on you, J. D.!"

J. D. raised an eyebrow and began nodding. "The cops?" He inquired. "Tell me, when they arrest me, do you think they're going to ignore the fact that you somehow knew for a fact that I killed Heather, Kurt, and Ram? What proof do you have that doesn't incriminate yourself? What will you say when they ask you how you know it's me? You wrote the letters."

"Yeah, well I didn't murder people!"

A strangely exuberant laughter escaped J. D.'s lips. "You didn't, did you? Then you didn't give Heather that mug of liquid drainer? And you also didn't shoot Kurt?"

You paused briefly, thinking of a quick defence. "Well I didn't know that was the wrong cup! And Kurt - I was just so shocked - "

J. D. took a step forward. You took a step back. J. D. grinned. He continued his approach until you inevitably collided with the wall, letting out a small gasp. "Admit it, Y/n!" He trapped you with his arms. "You say I'm evil, but look in the mirror! We're the same! We both do fucked up shit, and we like it! I saw that look on your face when Heather died. You were glad."

"We are not the same. I did not want them dead. Whatever you thought you saw in me when Heather died, it wasn't there. You're delusional, J. D. Now, I'm calling the cops, so don't even try to - "

"You can't call them. You know that. The moment you do your parents would be dead - and, besides, you know you couldn't pay to have a lawyer send me to jail. I know your parents wouldn't be able to afford it."

He was right. And you hated him for it. You didn't even ask how he knew your family wouldn't have sufficient funds - at this point, you'd be surprised if he didn't know something about you or your personal life.

"Well, I'm not coming with you, no matter what you'd do. I'd rather - "

J. D. didn't allow you to finish, forcefully swallowing your words with the press of his lips. The kiss was anything then what it should have been - it was greedy, feverish, demanding. You didn't have so much as a moment to breath as J. D. devoured you, leaving you terribly, terribly breathless. His icy fingers tug into your skin, surely leaving bruises, and you shuddered at the feeling of his wandering hands along your exposed skin.

J. D.'s kisses now were not what they once were. A million years ago, they sweet and tender, a warm interlocking of souls on a cold winter's day. They were beautiful and wonderful and tasted of nothing but kindness and thoughtfulness. But this one was nothing like the ones you'd experienced in the past. It was hungry, rough as J. D. pressed you plush against him, searing as opposed to warm, poisonous as opposed to tender.

It was after what could only be described as an eternity that J. D. pulled away, staring at your dizzy self with a satisfied expression upon his face.

Because, at last, here you were, like a bird with clipped wings, caught in J. D.'s trap, the one you'd unknowingly watched him craft bar by bar.

You froze as you felt two arms slither around your waist, firmly pulling you to J. D. He liked you like this - he could practically smell the fear radiating off of you, and it was intoxicating. Neither slushies nor cigars could compare to the high he felt from your presence.

"You're not leaving. You can't. And, besides, I'd kill you if you did." He let out a satisfied sigh. "I worship you - can't you see that?" You shivered as J. D.'s warm breath tickled your ear. "We were meant to be, darling. There was a reason we met... you were made for me."

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding as J. D. slowly let you go, grasping your chin between his forefinger and thumb. You naturally diverted your gaze.

J. D. grabbed your arm and squeezed it tightly, causing you to let out a small yelp. "Look at me."

Hesitantly, you obliged, your stomach knotting when you caught the dark glimmer in J. D.'s eyes. It was then that you knew - knew that you'd never once be free again, knew you'd be forever bound to J. D.

"We're going to fix this fucked up world together, Y/n."

© do not translate, steal, or repost any of my works elsewhere without consulting me and gaining my consent.

[theangelcatalogue]

❝ Have you ever died in a nightmare? Woke up surprised you hadn’t earned your fate? ❞ ― YANDERE X MEN X DREAM INTERPRETER!DARLING

→ X MEN EVOLUTION

→ PLATONIC/ROMANTIC

→ GENDER NEUTRAL READER

→ TW: IMPLIED NIGHTMARES, IMPLIED MURDER, BULLYING, IMPLIED HALLUCINATIONS, POSSIBLE MENTAL HEALTHY MOCKING, SWEARING, OVERPROTECTIVE BEHAVIOR , BAD GRAMMAR, BAD ENGLISH AND MADE BY A MINOR! IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE, FEEL FREE TO LEAVE! PLEASE TELL IF I FORGOT SOMETHING! IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, FELL FREE TO LEAVE! I HOPE YOU ENJOY (´• ω •`) ♡

❝ Have you ever felt like Atlas, threw your back out on the axis... ❞

— ⠀Third person

A dream interpreter, that's what you were, basically, your mutation consisted of controlling, entering and experiencing other people dreams, you discovered when you accidentally transformed your neighbor's kid dream in a nightmare while babysitting them, silly you.

And that happened until you realized that you were the problem. You also could do that with your own dreams, well, that was bad because there was one little problem...

You could hurt yourself in your dreams, one day you dreamed you were drowning, just to wake up soaking wet, or like when you dreamed you were bitten by an animal, just to wake up with a bite mark, bleeding, in your arm.

It took a few time to Professor found you, asking you about your experience, it was hell for you, you could control your dreams? Yes. You knew how to do that? No. Did you almost die in these dreams and nightmares? Yes.

He also asked your father about this, talking about how the institute would be an amazing experience, where you would stay with teenagers like you, and help you control your abilities.

Your father was hesitant, his only kid, away from him? After hesitating, he agreed, not before talking about your problems to the Professor, warning him to have patience with you.

" Please just be patience with they... they have these hallucinations, and they can hurt themselves in these dreams, and- "

" There is no need to worry, sir, we will take care of them. They are in good hands. "

Well, technically, you were in good hands, all of them tried to do be your friends and thought your power as rather different (Kurt and Evan asked you to interpret the dumbest dreams ever.)

They were very patience with you, or tried to be, and they were very, very protectives. It could be suffocating, so you tried to not tell them what happened so they wouldn't worry.

Your power had another problems, sometimes, you can hallucinate with things and creatures from your dreams, but the most recent and common ones are from your nightmares. You aren't sure if they are real or your imagination, but how you were the only one that could see them...

And this made you pass for many problems and situations at all, some classmates would have patience with you, some would find you weird, and others would be... downright mean and bullies.

" Come on, freak! Tell me what you're saying! It's another scary clown?, " Ram mocked, arms crossed, looking at you with like a total idiot. He is your main bully, he thought he was so funny, like this 'joke' wasn't made before.

" Yeah, it's a clown, the dumbest one i have ever seen in my entire life. " You responded him bluntly, you already were feed up of him at this point, why couldn't he just leave you alone? He has nothing better than to do? Like, smacking lunch trays? Or be a huge dick— Oh wait, he already is that.

It took him a while to understand you were talking about him, that he was a clown, that guy was really dumb. His face darkened with pure annoyance at you.

" Well, at least i'm not an insane freak! How did your parents didn't leave you when they had a chance? How do your friends even support your presence? " He scoffs.

" You are so right! But you know? I have to go. " You said, closing your locker, preparing to walk away, he really thinks he is offending you, sure it still hurts, but crying or fighting him wouldn't make this better, it would only make his ego get worse. So you just decided to agree and leave, hoping he wouldn't do anything.

However, you felt him grabbing you by your shoulders, making you look at him again, he was pissed off you were walking away, he grabs you by your jacket and press you in the lockers. Preparing to punch you.

" Who said you could just walk away from me? Your little piece of shit- "

" What's happening here? "

You hear a familiar voice, you and Ram turn your head to see a familiar figure, your hero... or your military general:

Scott Summers.

" Let them go. Before i do something you won't like. " Scott said to Ram, while crossing his arms, if looks could kill, Ram would be dead right now. I mean, you couldn't know because of the glasses, but you felt that he was giving him a death glare to Ram, you just knewn that.

Ram lets you go, not before sending you a " This isn't over. " look, he walks away, leaving you and Scott alone in the hallway.

You turn your head to look at Scott, the good thing is that you're safe from Ram... the bad? Having to listen to Scott giving you a whole speech about how you should ask them help in moments like this. This is the safiest option, actually.

" Who was that? "

" Ram Kelly. "

" Ram Kelly..., " He repeated, you could feel something weird in his tone, something that caused shivers in your spine. " And... he picks on you daily? "

You didn't know how to respond to that question, yes, Ram did that daily, it was part of your routine at this point. But if you tell Scott that, he will realize you are hiding things from him and the other X-mens.

" I will consider your silence as a yes., " He sighs, obviously disappointed with you. " Y/N, we already told you... if someone is messing with you, you need to tell us. " He advised you, he and the others have told you that many times.

" I know, i know! Sorry... i don't want you guys to worry, my problems, my deal. " You responded him, and it was truth, you already worry them enough with your nightmares, creams and bruises in the middle of the night, you don't want to bother them with some stupid school problems.

Before he could say anything to you, the bells rang, you rushed to your class, not wanting to be late, but also not wanting to hear Scott's possible scolding.

" We want to worry... " Scott mumbled to himself, observing you rush away, before going to his own class.

" Ugh! This guy is so disgusting! Now i'm feeling weird because of that... " Rogue complained after touching Ram, making him faint.

" Don't worry, i will be worth it! " Kurt responds her, while Scott looks at Ram's body.

" It is. " Scott said, before taking his glasses off, in direction to Ram's head.

★- AND COLLAPSED AND THREW THE PLANET AWAY?

★ FINALLY POSTED A NEW ONE SHOT YAY

★ I love x men evolution so much

★ How are u guys?? Hope you all doing well!

★ Silly Oona gif

[pitchcom]

OKAY f1 heathers au post starting NOW

heather chandler: fernando - cmon. look at fernando and tell me he doesnt have heather chandler energy. he is totally a mean girl and would be perf for this role

heather duke: carlos - he is supressed mean girl and im saying this as a carlos lover. he wants to put forth a perfect face until its publicly acceptable to be bitchy and charles is just the unfortunate bearer of that. i do think in this au he would be more passive aggressive mean then singing “kill yourself” mean but those are just little bits. i also think he has the capability to go mad with power

heather macnamara: charles - HONESTLY i think that he and carlos could be slightly interchangable based on your perception of them BUT i do think charles pulls off the innocent charmer look better so hes heather mac. but dont forget that heather mac is a heather for a REASON and she is also a shittalker so charles DOES have a mean bone in his body DONT BE FOOLED. charles here also plays into the macnamara/veronica angle bc he also has a bond with oscar

veronica sawyer: oscar - tbh i dont have a clear reason except it just feels right LOL like the narratives all line up … the carcar beef and the veronica/duke beef … the mcnamara/sawyer connection … loscar and martha/veronica …. i fear it all fits too well. also i think it would be funny for fernando to be a bitchy ghost haunting oscar for half the musical

JD: lando - this is mostly because hes been a menace lately and i DO believe he would be dramatic enough to blow up a school + fake their suicide note because someone broke up with him for killing 3 other people

martha dunnstock: logan - tragic unpopular bestie of the loser -> popular main character that gets hurt and left behind because of it. need i say more

ram & kurt: max/daniel OR pierre/esteban - no super strong reason for either of them except they are the two duos left on the grid that can give fboy but also hidden homoerotic relationship LMAOOO

mrs flemmings: lewis - sorry have u seen his whole peace love and plants front … he is so totally the teacher. tries to be pro mental health and diversity that it feels almost fake AND hes kinda unhinged with it. a case could be argued for seb but unfortunately i need him and mark to be oscars parenes LMAOOO

okay thats all for now folks 🫡 and if anyone ever makes any art of this …. pspspsps please feed it to me (tag me)

edit: PLS DROP ME ASKS IF U WANNA DISCUSS I CANT REPLY 🙏🙏

theres also another take on this thats vaguely developing in my head where its lewis + teammates = heathers with lewis, nico, and george being heathers and lestappen being jd/veronica BUT that needs to cook some more compared to this one LOL

[ask-chandl3r]

INTRO !!

[ OUT OF CHARACTER 🎀 ]

HAAAAIIIIIIIIIIII im Allie n i use they/them :) uhhhh im a minor so please no freaks, u can make minor jokes n stuff abt nsfw if u too are a minor but if ur an adult please dont make s3x jokes at me.. im okay most chan x female ships, just nothing really toxic like chan x martha or smthing, incest, pedo, that sort of shit + chan x male she's a lesbo, kurt n ram can be how they are just nothing TOO FAR cuz it makes me uncomfy my main blog is @allie-ggggay come say hi... im cool i swear.... please start convo's w me tumblr is scary n i cant start them myself this is BEFORE she died btw!! adding on some boundaries, pretty pretty please no fatherless "jokes" they arent funny and make me super uncomfy for personal reasons no kurt, ram and jd defenders please, they're 🍇ists and tahts legit theyre whole character, they are not silly fella's they a gross ass bitches

[ IN CHARACTER 🎀 ] ugh i saw duke doing this so i guess i'm doing the same im THE Heather Chandler, so martha dumptruck is not allowed!! ❌❌ im just 16,, duke is my fav heather shes nice not cuz i like her or anything, gross IM NOT LESBIAN.

[ HEADCANON'S 🎀 ] she has movie chan hair so curly strawberry blonde,, 🍓🍓 she's not super super skinny she has some oomf (ngh i love her) chan has lots of freckles on her face, stomach, arms and thighs, most cover her face/cheeks, she has some stretch marks but hates them deeply and she has a problem with picking and scratching acne and scabs too she's the youngest out of the heathers (16 while others are 17) her, duke and mac are very touchy so if u call it gay she'll be very confused cuz she thinks its normal, like who doesnt hug and cuddle with their homies and kiss them goodnight?? Closeted Lesbian + Hypersexual n undiagnosed ADHD chan covers her eye bags with makeup vro does NOT sleep chans dad is homophobic and transphobic and doesnt like it when duke comes over cuz she trans n stuff she's really passionate about jewellery and bracelets, once you get her talking on it theres no stopping her, she loved how pretty they can be and the meanings behind some ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ anyway pls come say hi... i spend ages tryna do this intro

[stressed-depressed-andobsessed]

Listen to me sir/ma'am/whatever

I will CRY if i don't get more Hamilton 68s or just Théâtre Boy Mondo. (Btw if you can, can you do Heather...?)

Oh sweet, poor Emiko-Chan,

I've already done Heathers 4 times over in my mind. I sing 'Meant To Be Yours' in my best Mondo impression every time the song pops up in my playlist 🫶🏾

BTW I use They/Its pronouns and am non-binary so the 'whatever' part would be most accurate lol, I do accept Sir though! ^^

The huge Hamilton casting list took me about 4 days to make so I'm just gonna do a really simple, really quick list of who I think fits where:

Veronica Sawyer - Sayaka Maizono

I know I keep putting her as the Main Girl in these musicals, but she really is the most equipped for the job. She obviously has good vocals and knows how to lead a crowd, she's the best host!

Jason Dean - Mondo Owada

Y'know I had to make my main Bad Boy THE Main Bad Boy. He would kill all the JD main songs (Freeze your Brain, Our Love is God, Meant to be Yours, ect.) and he would have so much fun doing it!

Heather Chandler (Red) - Junko Enoshima

Obviously. She is THE Bad Bitch who likes to mess with people. She would have so much fun as a sarcastic ghost.

Heather Duke (Green) - Aoi Asahina

I have absolutely no basis for this. I just think it would be fun for her to take over the popular title after Junko-Heather dies. She has so much energy and I think she would be great at being fake condescending.

Heather McNamara (Yellow) - Mukuro Ikusaba

Another obvious pick. She's already pathetic (affectionate) in canon so why would it be any different in musical form? Having Sayaka encourage her not to off herself and to be more confident is an adorable thought.

Kurt Kelly - Leon Kuwata

I think Leon would love to be the 'Smartest of the Football Team' and the greatest FuckBoy in the musical. Plus how could he pass up singing a whole song about Blue Balls?

Ram Sweeney - Chihiro Fujisaki

This is so funny to me. Thinking about Chihiro humping a pig statue and begging Sayaka to sleep with them is so funny. Please re-watch the musical, but every time Ram pops up, imagine Fujisaki and I swear, you will love it.

Martha Dunnstock - Kiyotaka Ishimaru

Martha is bullied literally the entire musical and is naive. This reminds me of Taka. That's it, that's the whole explanation. I can't think of anyone else that would fit here. Maybe Makoto, but I don't know.

Pauline Fleming/Ms. Fleming - Yasuhiro Hagakure

I saw someone else put Hiro as Ms. Fleming and I don't know why, but that makes sense. I think him being an adult or teacher of some sort, especially someone as silly as Ms. Fleming, is the right choice.

There aren't many major characters so it was easier to sort, plus I personally don't take Heathers as seriously as I do Hamilton. I see Hamilton as a Drama with a fleck of humor while I see Heather's as the opposite. A story infused with humor with a fleck of Drama. (I mean there LITERALLY is a whole song about Blue Balls which is so funny to me) Because of that, I don't have to think as hard about categorizing which is so nice.

[lilliancdoodles]

I was listening to Seventeen from Heathers and my brain is so FitPac crazy that I started thinking who would be who in a Fitpac Heathers AU? thing? story? This is based more on the musical than the movie and not everything fit's 100%. idk, im deranged and these are my thoughts. lyrics that come to mind for the character choices will be in italics.

------------------------------- Veronica Sawyer - Pac I think qPac would also be good at forgeries, and the other character dynamics would make more sense with Pac in this position. He is really good at manipulating things and can stand up for himself, but I can also see him getting sucked into being apart of the Heather, and accidentally leaving Martha (Mike). J. D. - Fit Fit as the loner who's the emo kid, and defends Pac with everything he can. + JD's dad have a demolition company explaining his knowledge of explosives. Cares a lot but it can get misdirected (into murder that Fit would 100% know how to cover up). HEAVY leaning into 'protective Fit' with the violence.

Heather Chandler - Cellbit Leader of the Heathers. Very manipulative and knows how to control people and get them to do what he wants, plus the red coloring. And totally would haunt Pac after the murder. Heather Duke - Bagi Constantly challenging Chandler for power and when Chandler dies she takes the opportunity to be the leader. And though it never gets brought up after the first song, Duke is the head of the yearbook committee. Heather McNamara - Tubbo Some of the stuff that McNamara says I can totally imagine Tubbo saying. 'If I had a meat cleaver down the center of your skull i'd have matching halves, that's very important' (Beautiful) I also like that this means that Pac saves Tubbo during the 'Shine a Light reprise' song. He would be confident but under the surface he's scared and finally breaks in 'Shine a Light Reprise' Kurt Kelly- Foolish 'He's the smartest guy on the football team, which is kinda like being the tallest dwarf' (Beautiful) I know Foolish is really smart, but I think his playing dumb really works for this character. If he dialed up the teasing to an 11 and was an asshole I could see him being like Kurt. Ram Sweeney- Bad Gonna be honest, Bad is here cause having Foolish and Bad being these best friends that get murdered together and get written to be gay lovers in a forged suicide note works way too well. I don't think anything else that Bad does fit's this character at all. Maybe it's just his teasing and pranks but more and mean. Though i think it would be funny if he still doesn't swear, but he's still the school bully. This is mostly just here for Foolhalo content. Kurt and Rams' parents - Phil and Missa 'Im talking you and me. In the summer of '83' (I love my dead gay son) They are Kurt and Ram's gay dads. That it. that's the only reason. Martha Dunstock - Mike 'My best friend since diapers' (Beautiful) Pac and Mike are best friends. I don't really know how to handle the crush on Ram and the whole Kindergarten song. But I don't think anyone else could fit the role of the best friend. Mrs. Flemming - Baghera This is the hippie teacher and I feel that Bags would totally be crazy and try to be the fun teacher in the 'Shine a Light' song. Obviously qBags is better at this, but imagining a peak Purgatory Bags as this teacher. She's trying her best. I'm probably not going to do anything with this i just needed to get my thoughts out. A fun thing, If you have any other ideas for who would be who, or if you have more thoughts on my picks, please feel free to discuss.

[maybeimamuppet]

Veronica and Cady for the character thingy plss

DID I NEVER POST THIS HOLY SHIT OOPS

eeep i just found this and don’t remember when i got it i’m sorry friend!! i’m assuming this is for the list and not the bingo but if i’m wrong i’ll do it again lol

ok i have to do cady first bc it won’t let me type beneath veronica’s picture so woo i love it here soooo much /s

CADY

favorite thing about them

she has so much depth! i love how adorable she is and how bubbly and high energy and yet soft spoken and sweet she is but she also has a dark and vindictive streak in her that’s really fun to play with. also she’s like really fun to torture sometimes lol whoops

least favorite thing about them

again i hate how many people she uses for her own gain and how power hungry she gets

favorite line

“shuck! i started to say shoot and i almost said fu-” for funnies and uhhh

“fearless is the one thing i can be now, no friends, nothing to lose” and whatnot for like more emotional. also all of i see stars i still get misty every time i listen to it

brOTP

damiaaaaan. they wear matching outfits whenever they can, damian comes over to cadnis’ house for movie nights twice a week at least, they watch bootlegs together without janis bc she doesn’t like them. just. mwah. i could go off but i’ll hold back lol

OTP

TAKE A WILD GUESS DUDE

nOTP

aaron. they only worked bc of erikyle. if i could drop kick every other aaron into the road i would.

random headcanon

she can talk backwards!

unpopular opinion

there’s a point where she is fully aware of what she’s doing and how wrong it is and she actively chooses to continue for a hot second until the burn book being released and whatnot snaps her out of it that people do not talk about enough. i know i’m guilty of it too but she is not all innocent and naive and coerced into this shit like she’s a full teenager she knows damn well what she’s doing

song i associate with them

a change in me from beauty and the beast which hath inspired many a fic in my early days. at the plaza from the violet hour loosely inspired i’ll be there for christmas. like very loosely. uhhh and i think the like vibes of true love from frozen (or basically anything anna sings lol) even if it’s not necessarily the same meaning

favorite picture of them

i picked two for both her and veronica bc iiiim greedy lol

alright well one of cady’s is with ronnie for some fuckass reason thanks tumblr!!! i tried i swear

VERONICA

favorite thing about them

honestly this isn’t as much to do with her as a character as it is to do with the people who’ve played her but she has done so much for my self esteem in a really roundabout way. as someone with dark brown eyes and frizzy kinda untamable brown hair reading fic about her helped me appreciate more things about myself.

if you struggle with self image i really cannot recommend highly enough finding a character who looks and acts like you and reading stories where someone is absolutely, irrevocably in love with them. whether that’s platonically or romantically. i know it’s weird but being able to look in the mirror or at some aspect of my personality that i don’t like and say “that’s still lovable” is WONDERFUL.

least favorite thing about them

i despise the way she treats martha and also baby girl is kind of a doormat!! she’s one of those shitty wicker doormats that scratches the hell outta your feet but like dang!!

favorite line

not a line but her face in the musical when jd and kurt and ram start fighting

but also the way barrett delivers the “oH MY GOD!” over chandler’s corpse is immaculate

and i had one of her like super iconic ones everyone knows in my head but now i can’t remember it siiiigh

brOTP

marthaaaaa buddies since babies. also like. still alive and post MUCH therapy jd has a lot of fun potential

OTP

poly heathers!! but to put them individually in order, mac, chandler (those two are almost tied), duke

nOTP

JD. i know he goes by his initials and that’s just his name but i was trying to yell that. i do not like him i think he stinky get him outta there

random headcanon

she’s not allowed to wear pants with drawstrings anymore because she’s gotten stuck in them too many times. also she’s not allowed to use superglue bc she’s glued her fingers together too many times.

yes both of these are true of me shut up

unpopular opinion

she’s a lot weaker than most people think and a lot stronger than most people think st the same time

and i’m not always a huge fan of her being autistic i think she’s just that painfully awkward and dense

song i associate with them

it is so much harder than you would think to pick songs that are not from their shows?? like the only one in my head is i’m blue dabadeedabadie like i don’t KNOW OKAY

favorite picture of them

[misszura]

I know you’re obsessed with Heathers musical so here is my idea you can share if you want to:

On derry school is gonna be a drama play, it’s the Heathers. Your Jane really love it and hopes she’ll get heather role and signs in not knowing Henry signed in as a joke.

When the teacher called in every kid that signed in, she saw him there and said to herself “god not this asshole again” and you know what’s more funny? Jane got heather role and Henry JD.

It’s my idea but I’ll leave it on you :3

Ok, i have like 3 other asks to answer (one is from 2 years ago, the person will be so stunned when I’ll answer…) but you’re tickling my brain with my obsessions, so here I am.

I mean… I don’t think it’s in character to play in a musical (and in a more me opinion : please people, don’t make teenagers play Heathers… dead girl walking dudes…)

Anyway, who cares about characterization tbh ? And chronology ? (first heather’s musical was like in… 2009/2010) (I do) (I like really are)(but I love play around with ooc)

That would be beautiful. (This is the promotion poster or something, I just wanted to try something)

Henry would never willingly play in a school play, even less in a musical, but when Jane got in, he said no guys was allowed to play her boyfriend, so he joined. He hated everything of that. Playing a guy who hasn’t a mother and has daddy issues ? That’s so unrealistic. Even more knowing the guy’s mom left because of the dad’s abuses… nonsense 🙄

Anyway, he was a good JD, surprisingly, he can sing. People fought for him to abandon the musical, i mean, he isn’t really popular… a bully with anger issues shouldn’t be allowed in school fun.

(First, the infamous open the door from meant to be yours, second is from dead girl walking (2) I mean, it’s obvious tho… the 3rd, freeze your brain and the last is in fight for me)

They changed their minds. Mostly the girls. Henry Ace ass wasn’t ready for the waves of fangirls coming from everywhere, the guy was just a jealous boyfriend, and ended up somewhat popular. His fav song of the musical is our love is god, and to play around, he sings it with Jane even after the last representation.

Jane tried only because she liked musicals. She thought she’d had a figurative role (she hoped saying « why don’t he date me » in beautiful) but ended with the main role.

(First one when playing dead girl walking, drunk Veronica sneaking in JDs bedroom, second Veronica who doesn’t know how to react when her bff fall in Heathers trap in candy store, 3rd you’re welcome. Last one, Veronica at the end. You’ll forgive the colors, I love how it turned out.)

They took off her glasses during the « makeover scene » in Beautiful, because you know, when you want to show a girl makeover in cinema (and musicals) you take off her glasses and put down her hair. It was Hard for Jane, since she can’t see shit without her glasses. She didn’t expected being able to be Veronica, but loved the experience. She loves the song you’re welcome, Ram and Kurt were lovely during the rehearsals, and were fun to be around (I know. If we’re talking about earlier heathers, it should be Blue and not You’re welcome. Well, I said fuck chronology, I prefer You’re welcome.) but her fav song to play was Fight for me.

Never mention dead girl walking in front of any of them. (Btw, did you hear the dead girl walking sang by ladybug and Luka ? Dude, it’s gold. I love them)

She would have loved playing Matilda (and being Matilda) in another school musical, and maybe it will happens. Henry in another hand said he would never do it again, even if she had to kiss a boy on stage. (But god… dead girl walking)

[multidimensionalmusicalmess]

So. For your ghosts fics

does Veronica have like nightmares of Chandler’s death or something? Because that was probably traumatic. And Kurt and rams and jds too. And Veronica seems okay in most of the fics so is she like hiding guilt or has she moved on?

It’s kind of funny that you read Veronica as being okay: I certainly didn’t mean to write her that way (though I don’t want to linger on the negatives too much, of course). Her guilt is a running theme and one of her primary motives for quite a few chapters. I’d say that she’s much more okay than one normally would be in her situation (what with the constant reassurance of the person she feels guiltiest about hurting), but she’s definitely going to be dealing with all of it for a long time.

The nightmare idea is excellent, though, and I can’t believe I never thought of it. I might have to write a chapter of that; thank you for the idea! And thank you for the ask.

[toxinoire]

How do you think the Movie Heathers cast (With Polyheathers + Veronica) Would react to the musical?

Sorry for the late answer anon! My tumblr notifs are usually in a frenzy.

I don't get whether you mean the actor au I made or Movie!Heathers react to the musical so here's both.

Actor!Heather: We absolutely slayed Candy Store.

Actor!Martha: That is a lot of hip movement. You girls just wanted to fluster Ronnie.

Actor!Veronica: And it worked...

Actor!Heather: Blue tho.

Actor!Kurt: You guys will never let us live this down, will you?

Actor!JD: No. Dude, you two are such gentlemen, seeing you guys sing this is just funny.

Actor!Heather: I have it on video.

Actor!Martha: And seeing Heather be mean is also weird.

Actor!Veronica: I know right?

Actor!Heather: She's like, the nicest person ever.

Actor!JD: It was really weird acting like Veronica's love interest, she's my lil bro, that was so weird.

Actor!Veronica: Right? Jason's my big sis, I wanted to puke everytime.

Actor!Ram: You slayed Meant To Be Yours though.

Actor!JD: Thank you, I know.

Director:

Director: How did you all get in my office?

(JD is big sis and Ronnie is lil bro thank you I will be taking no further inquiry on this matter)

~~~~~

Movie!Heather: What the fuck? I'm so energetic there.

Movie!Heather: HEY I'M A BITCH ASS BUT NOT A BITCH BABY!

Movie!Heather: It is so weird seeing me like this.

Movie!Veronica: Yeah it is, this is not Heather. That's a gremlin with the same name.

Movie!Veronica: However, why am I a bitch baby ass in this?

Movie!Heather: We're satire, but this seems more "Satire but add more dramatic bitchiness".

Movie!Heather: At least I have some cheer moves.

Movie!Heather: Never Shut Up Again was actually pretty cool...

Movie!Veronica: Eh, I slayed.

Movie!Heather: Performance wise, appearance wise or literally?

Movie!Veronica: Yes.

[marcyclone]

new hc + ships post bc my old one was long and unorganised

im going to be organising them by fandom so you can pick out the ones you actually care about and adding more on as i inevitably get into more musicals and i’ll try to keep it shorter than last time for each category ok go:

Ride the Cyclone🎢

ships:

SPACERAPS!! perfectsugardolls (separate or poly), nischa, oscha kinda cute ngl wiggles my eyebrows at it, lambcest

head(lol)canons:

(Per character)

Ocean: trans (masc or fem depending on my mood), undiagnosed mental disability, parents are abusive, developed anorexia because there’s never any food at her house. loves animals, becomes stressed if she feels like she doesn’t have control over her surroundings, can’t cook because no one taught her how, scratches her arms habitually, has abundant arm hair regardless of agab

Noel: views ocean as a little sister, insults people to show affection, his mother is an alcoholic and extremely homophobic and has intentionally frightened him with threats of aids if he does as much as kiss another man. picks at his cuticles a lot, also doesn’t know how to cook but is trying to self teach so he can provide for ocean

Mischa: talia is wicked abusive, his parents prefer not to even see him, he essentially vaporises the thought of potentially being bisexual before it even crosses his mind. the more hats he’s wearing at once, the more hyper he is. forward facing hat means trouble.

Penny: autistic, doesn’t think even once before speaking, says things that are usually rude or out of pocket or straight up disturbing and morally reprehensible without even thinking, has a slew of fucked up sexual fantasies due to her exposure to similar things in the commune, self harms to control her restlessness and less to cope with depression, DOES know how to cook

Ricky: pansexual, hyper, teases and makes snarky comments to show affection, gets snippy with ocean too easily, very sexual person in general, craves and requires physical affection, becomes absolutely overjoyed when anyone includes him in anything

Constance: allergic to cats, lesbian but refuses to label herself because she thinks lesbian is a bad word, burns herself on the café kitchen appliances, lips are often swollen due to biting, has gotten a lot quieter and more reserved over time since ocean made the choir

Heathers❤️💛💚💙

Ships:

JDronica, chansaw, mac x Veronica, mac x duke (if you think im going to write the actual ship names with my own two thumbs you’re wrong), Kurt x ram??? kum???

Headcanons:

Veronica: sits really weird, every time she sits on a wide seat like her bed or a sofa she sits butterfly legged with the soles of her feet pressed together, started saying ‘very’ ironically to mock chandler and it ended up becoming part of her vocabulary, has an affection for reptiles, wants a monitor lizard desperately, throws things when she’s upset, likes to hear things make loud noises

Chandler: only actually likes veronica, really she just tolérâtes her, low-key admires Veronica because Veronica is a senior, there’s no motive for her personality she just is actually an asshole, needs to be in control and if she isn’t she freaks the fuck out, ‘tried out’ bulimia too because she was honestly jealous of dukes figure, now has a vomit kink

Mac: transfem, is technically above duke in the pecking order but acts like she’s at the bottom, cuts her ankles only and picks her skin off all over her body, tends to get anxious when she feels literally any extreme emotion, terrified of chandler and would probably be a really funny person to be around if she wasn’t trapped under chandlers thumb, lets duke spend time with her bird

Duke: constantly jealous of everyone around her, miserable home life, abusive parents AND brother, wants to have pets but her parents won’t let her, vents to Tweety to the point he has become her personal therapist and she will literally break into Mac’s bedroom just to talk to him, likes to draw but no one cares or shows interest so she doesn’t do it even though she’s really good at it

JD: he’s literally just insane, dad is orin scrivello (joking… kind of; he is in spirit), works out excessively to the point he overexhausts his body, really likes winter, likes ice in general, his pet hamster is named Pringle and is the only reason he stays on this god forsaken planet, id give him a sexuality but honestly he just likes anyone he can abuse and take control over, consent? who’s that?

Mean Girls🔥📔

Ships:

Regina x Gretchen, Janis x Kevin is low-key cute af, Cady x Gretchen, Karen x Seth (JOKING)

Headcanons:

Regina: has a bit of repressed homosexuality at any given time but it doesn’t affect her too much, actual hypersexual but in the unhealthy way, physically, sexually and mentally abusive and manipulative towards Gretchen specifically, actually enjoys being insulted and degraded, genuinely loves animals

Gretchen: will put up with anything from Regina as long as she gets praise from her, very easily manipulated, "straight" but will fold for anyone with authority over her, acts sexual to fit in with Regina but doesn’t really like sex in general, will literally be raped by whoever is in charge of her and thank them afterwards

Karen: is actually just having fun, has no idea how she got in the clique, she’s just being silly, no clue where she is most of the time, likes dogs, she’s a pretty sexual person but she switches between owning it and being embarrassed of if, confident in her abilities to do anything which actually makes her really great at picking up new hobbies

Cady: observing animals has given her an insatiable desire to lead a pack, really likes monkeys, very autistic, makes jokes that no one fucking understands because she sounds like this🤓, is also abusive to Gretchen when she’s in charge of her but a lot less than Regina (she doesn’t rape her is basically the only difference)

[blueikeproductions]

-JD and Dan return home in Dan’s VW bug, carrying in groceries.-

Dan: We’re home!

JD: Hold yer applause~!

-Both boys see the parents getting stuff packed-

JD: -PTSD triggers and almost drops the bags- Oh god, you’re not moving are you?

Roland: Oh! Hey boys, no, no, we’re packing for a family reunion we got invited to down in St. Louis.

Dan’s mom: Yeah, my sister Karen and her husband Gil are throwing a big bash during spring break, and it’s always fun to see the extended family after so long!

JD: Oh. -clears throat- Of course. -He and Dan set the groceries in the kitchen- Uh well, you crazy kids have a good time then! I’ll hold down the fort, keep it from burning down. I’ll call up Veronica, maybe watch Kurt and Ram get plastered and tip cows for a cheap laugh.

Dan’s mom: What do you mean, Jason? You’re coming too.

JD: -stunned blink- …Beg pardon?

Dan’s mom: Why wouldn’t you?

JD: Oh. I..It’s not that I don’t want to, I… You… We’re… not related. -looks uncomfortable and a little sad-

Dan’s mom: Oh don’t be a silly goose, Jason, you’re part of this family too! You’re just as much my son as Daniel and Liam are!

JD: -comically teary eyed- …I am?

Dan: -unpacking the groceries- You didn’t think you were?

JD: -wipes his eyes- I’ve always been treated as “Guest” or “Other” with Bud, Danny-boy, so it’s… nice to be reminded otherwise… -sniffs- Plus I haven’t been in St. Louie since I was 12, I remember liking it there, until Bud blew up the wrong contractor’s shopping district and we had to skip town…

Roland: Yeesh, well at least it’ll be a refreshing change of pace this time for you.

JD: Anything I should know about the extended family? Dan: Yeah. Don’t call/compare Uncle Nathan to Rick Moranis, he HATES that. He looks just like him though, so it’s still kinda funny in a cosmic way. Oh! And don’t lend Uncle Larry ANY money. Liam gave Larry a button, and now he’s on the hook for 4 thousand dollars.

JD: How the fuck’s a baby owe 4 grand…?

Dan: -shrugs-

[sawyerconfort]

ummm hiii aaaa i saw ur blog and i was just now getting into the heathers (musical and movie) franchise !! could you maybe write a innocent!fem reader x ram sweeney >_<

HEY ANON SORRY FOR THE DELAY IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE YOU ASKED THAT, BUT OKAY! HAHAHA

I'M ABOUT TO MIX UP TWO REQUESTS HERE SO ANON WHO ASKED FOR KURT'S SISTER, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU TOO!

Guys, don't be shy, really, requests are open and you can ask whatever you want here! I'll be glad to write a oneshot for you!

Here we go, KURT AND RAM ONESHOT!

(Ok, guys, I hate this song so much but I couldn't miss the opportunity, I'm sorry, Blue fans...)

Enjoy!

You Make My Balls So Blue | Twin!Kelly x Ram Sweeney

Prompt: What would happen if Ram fell in love with Kurt's twin sister?

* * *

"HEYYYYYYY CUTIE, CAN YOU PLEASE COME DOWN?"

You could hear Ram's voice screaming from your bedroom window, but from his intonation, you knew he must be madly drunk. You didn't know if the friendship between him and your twin brother was right or wrong.

Because even though Ram was good people and Kurt loved him like a brother, when he was around you, he was just an idiot.

"(Y\N), I know you can hear me, kitten, come down!"

You put the pillow in your face, to muffle the sound, but it didn't work, of course, because he was drunk and screaming loudly like he was crazy, it wasn't going to work at all.

Fuck, Ram, you thought.

"HURRY UP, (Y\N), I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

"Get out, Ram…", you said, still screaming from the bed, making no effort to go to the window.

"Oh, you're listening to me!" he suddenly shouted in celebration. "Fine, sweetie, so you can come down to see me, won't you?"

"Ram, I said GET OUT!" you yelled again, burying your head in the pillow. "You're drunk, man, God!"

"No, I'm not," he chuckled. "Okay, maybe I overdosed, but I assure you I'm sober enough to talk to you, kitten, come down soon, go…"

You ignored him.

"Oh ok, so are you going to play with me?", Ram laughed. "Okay, if that's how you want it, then this is how it goes," he cleared his throat. "Let's agree, I'll sing for you, with all my heart, and in the end, if you like it, you come down."

You rolled your eyes and waited, avoiding putting your head out the window to give him any attention. Within minutes, Ram cleared his throat again and began to sing, in a high, husky voice that betrayed how much he'd been drinking.

"You make my balls so blue…"

You had to contain your laughter. As he continued the song, you expected something to happen and send him far away from your window, but you made no effort.

"Just for a while… Can't wait till later, my pants are rubbing like a hot cheese gra-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN? THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"

You didn't know where your twin Kurt's voice had come from, let alone where he'd gotten a bucket of water, but you did catch the moment when he threw the water like a waterfall out the window and realized he'd hit right on Ram.

"Wow, did you hear that, kitten? Looks like something got really wet in here, huh?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, SUCKER!" Kurt yelled, threatening to jump out the window. "AND YOU'LL SERENADE ANYONE ELSE'S SISTER BUT MINE!" he yelled, still nervous. "PREFERABLY WITH A SONG OTHER THAN OUR SONG, DICKHEAD!"

You laughed, watching Ram walk out wet and staggering down the street, and after he left, you hugged Kurt and thanked him for making your day better with that little moment. He didn't know how to reciprocate, so he just nodded.

"Did you knew he liked me?", you asked, now curious.

"What does it matter?" Kurt snapped. "Like it or not, this little shit is going to stay the hell away from my little sister from now on, right, twin?"

The two of you gave a high five and were about to leave the room when you started humming Ram's song. Kurt turned toward you and threatened to throw the empty bucket at you, causing another burst of laughter until your stomach really hurt.

[walnutart]

I rank all of the heathers characters

Heather mfing Chandler- She's perfect. She's sexy. She's amazing. never been seen before. totally unique. she was my gay awakening when i was 12. her one-liners in the musical are so fucking funny. "nancy drew is onto you, veronica." "Only a true dead best friend would give it to you straight." I love myself an unintentionally queer-coded villain.

Veronica Sawyer- her mentally ill bisexual ass. i love her. barrett wilbert weed's belts are perfect. i love the fact that she's supposed to be super smart but she's also the Dumbest Person On Planet Earth. ich luge bullets- dumbass (affectionate)

Heather Duke and McNamara- they're amazing. Duke is unintentionally one of the funniest characters in the musical AND the movie. Heather "veronica suicide is a private matter" mcnamara

Martha Dunnstock- I LOVE THIS GIRL AND I WANT TO HUG HER. kindergarten boyfriend is the most beautiful song ever. "I brought sparkling cider!" god she's precious.

JD. i mean he's mid. idk. my lesbian ass could not care less about him.

Kurt and Ram... I mean... yeah idk this is self explanatory. (although i am obsessed with the fact that Ram Sweeney is a dick joke)

HONORABLE MENTION: Ms. Flemming. I don't think yall realize how funny this woman is LMFAO. her little speech in shine a light is so Funny Holy SHit

"whether or not to kill yourself is the most important decision a teenager could make."

"now my senior thesis... (at Berkeley)... was on the subject pediatric psychotherapy musicology... thank you thank you. it was terrifically well regarded so i speak with some authority..." 💀