#but just. siblings parenting younger siblings is so tragic to me. you would rather you parent them then anyone else but.

[hazmatazz]

ALSO!! (Sorry forgot what I was gonna say or I would’ve included it in my last ask)

Your ‘Abby is observant but she’s still a kid’ statement. I love it so much because it shows that she doesn’t have to grow up so fast, she has someone who’s taking care of her and let’s her be a kid! Honestly I think Mike and Abby’s relationship is so fucking great

Mike actively asks about her drawings and actively tries to engage with her and even if it’s met with nothing he doesn’t give up, he’ll try again at a later point!

(Also also, I think Mike is more observant then we’ve been giving him credit for)

literally literally literally literally..... tad off topic but i feel So bad for mike because like . no sibling should have to take care of their younger one. like here it says mike would probably be in his mid to late twenties and honestly i forgot if they ever said what age either mike or abby was when she went into his care but that's still rather young to be caring for a child (your sibling) you didn't plan for ..

like i could only imagine him wanting a normal sibling relationship with abby instead of being her parent, why wouldn't you. you love your younger sibling but this isn't how your life should have gone. now you're struggling with your rent and getting a job that works with the fact you're a single dad basically and. you can't blame your sister because you love her so much and you would rather her be in your care than anyone else's but. god why did your dad have to leave and why is nobody helping you 💔. you don't even believe you're raising her right and you just. want her to have a normal life and you want a normal life but

Anywyas.

also yeah!! he's like. for the situation we've dropped him in, he's like the normal guy observant. i mean he figured out that the kids his sister always talks to and draws before he got this job are the kids in the animatronics and he figures out a whole lot about vanessa and. i think he's observant he just doesn't believe he's doing a good job ever so

[ateez-himari]

PRAY : HIDDEN FOOTAGE

A more private aspect of the relationship between the industry's producing sibling duo as camera follows them behind the scenes.

June 26, 2024 (6:30PM)

CONTENT WARNING: This article contains mentions of parental loss following a car collision, discussions of mental health, allusions to suicidal tendencies and talk of an unhealthy childhood. Please read at your own discretion.

To celebrate the one year anniversary of an emotional collaboration that also served as the very first solo release of a talented vocalist, BANGTANTV in partnership with KQ ENTERTAINMENT uploaded a two part documentary showcasing the process behind the single 'Pray' by Agust D and Himari. Throughout the years people have come to build these siblings an untouchable reputation through the title 'Hands of Midas', in reference to their incredible musical genius, so it was only natural for netizens to be interested in their work behind the scenes. However, it seems as though they received much more than they had bargained for when heartbreaking stories of the past were recalled by the artists to explain the mindset of each track.

In order to help viewers understand why the pair resemble each other in such a striking manner despite being linked legally rather than through blood, a short rundown of their history was given in the first few minutes. Prior to the tragic accident both families were very close friends and due to this bond the rapper has been in his younger sister's life since her birth, later playing a huge role in raising her following the adoption. While their parents were not detached from their lives, they did work a lot, and with the eldest living his own life it was left to the remaining brothers to take care of her. The girl's biological sibling however was dealing with a lot of physical as well as mental difficulties at the time, which meant that he was in no state to carry out such a huge responsibility.

'I was left with a lot of injuries from the accident so I couldn't move much at the time, and the grief put me in a really dark situation. Because she was still very young she couldn't deal with it properly and was always happy instead...so I couldn't find a way to approach her to take care of her.' Hanzo said in an interview with Cosmopolitan Korea

This paved the way into the conversation that took place while each wrote their respective verses in the side track 'Snooze', and here is what we now know. The middle brother took ever chance available to come home to her, yet these moments were unfortunately few and far between, leaving the family's youngest with no other option than to grow up quickly in order to adjust to an independent lifestyle in the midst of grief. In the refrain along with the first verse Agust D talks about acknowledging life's hardships, some originating from the music industry, all the while reassuring whoever is listening that it is alright to show weakness and lean on somebody.

'They're [the lyrics] what I would have wanted to tell you back then but looking at them makes me realize how much I missed.' Yoongi admitted. 'I regret it a lot you know, seeing that the more I came home, the quicker you seemed to grow up. You saw a lot of things because of me, all of them I wish to take back.'

The last piece of this statement was lightly touched upon in later footage, revealing that the young woman was made to take care of her brother rather often due to him being stuck in a very dark place at the time, leaving him too mentally distant to raise her, with certain anecdotes suggesting she might have been witness to events that were traumatizing for a mere child. While no speculations will be made on this very delicate matter, it is clear that something much deeper has bonded these siblings together, as the man who very rarely cries on camera could be seen tearing up holding his sister.

'When I listened to The Last, I remember throwing up afterwards.' Himari recalled. 'The emotions were just too much and I think it was my body's way of dealing with them, since I never truly got closure. I was terrified back then, having to pull you out this often, but I don't blame you for it. If anything I feel relieved that someone was there at the time, even if it had to be me.'

With the discussion that followed being extremely personal we have decided not to summarize it, so for those who wish to listen, it can be found at the 25 minute mark in the first part of the documentary which can be found on BANGTANTV. We advise viewers to watch at their own discretion as it contains mentions of attempted suicide and deep childhood trauma, as well as heavy mental distress. What can be said in short however is that we now understand why the maknae tends to act childishly, as there was never truly a time in the two year period preceding training that she had the opportunity to live as one.

While devastating aspects of their past were unraveled, most pieces of footage filmed on personal cameras managed to heal viewers' hearts as they showed their healed relationship, from playing around while creating to going out to cafes or PC bangs. Multiple instances of the young woman falling asleep on the couch in her brother's studio have been reposted on social media, as it led to the rapper caring for her as one would a child, demonstrating the amount of attentiveness he holds towards her.

'I raised her, so there's something more in how I see her.' He said in episode 20 of Suchwita [with Taemin] 'It's not a parental link or anything...but it feels like it sometimes.'

This nearly fatherly care for his sister was demonstrated through an anecdote in which her difficulties navigating the music industry with a near deaf ear were talked about, leading viewers to learn that due to the family's low financial status they were unable to afford a hearing aid for their youngest, seeing as they already had to pay the hospital fees. The girl being fully aware of their predicament had never mentioned need for it, yet Yoongi rapidly caught on to the struggles this new impairment brought into her daily life, such as extreme fatigue along with splitting headaches and so he set aside money following every paycheck earned during his delivery job.

'The song that fits us the most...' Himari pondered over the question asked in a solo segment. 'Maybe Mockingbird by Eminem, my brother used to play it a lot at home. There's a lot of regrets in the song, a lot of promises about protection and sacrifices just to make her [his daughter] life better. It was the same with us in a sense...I guess a good example is that back then he needed money but he saved so much just to buy me a hearing aid.'

That is not to say the youngest does not care for her brother to the same extent, as she would reassure the older artist by holding his hands when he talked about something especially painful, even wiping fallen tears whilst talking about how great a man he is. Food ordered for him would very quickly fill the studio and although claiming to have eaten well, the rapper finished every single dish, even accepting the soft pink blankets draped over him when producing sessions lasted into late at night. While not providing the same way as he had during their childhood, the vocalist shows her care through small actions that prove the amount of attention truly on him at all times.

Their heavy history is easily discernable from the way these artists embrace one another, as there never seems to have been a singular loose hug, never a moment where they did not treasure the simple fact of each other's presence. Although the rapper usually rejects skinship in front of cameras, he could be seen seeking it out throughout the documentary, always asking for a small kiss on the cheek whenever the youngest arrived or left. Sharp eyed netizens also noticed how the senior fidgeted with his rings when listening to the vulnerable lyrics written by his sister, while she on the other hand tended to zone out as if attempting to repress certain emotions.

Peace can be found through these pieces of media as the siblings have stated that despite these setbacks they have managed to find their own balance, and are now going about life with fresh scars rather than carrying old wounds. Strangely enough, having these many instances of them laughing with one another, both fandoms noticed that their smiles are practically identical which had led to sweet speculations about fate meaning for them to be one another's healing.

National Soccer Team Captain, Min Hanzo, made several appearances

With the relationship between the vocalist and her biological brother being kept away from the spotlight, it has left many wondering about whether they were truly close or if something was brewing behind closed doors that neither wished to address. This worry was however rapidly dismissed, as several videos of them inserted throughout this documentary reassured fans that the siblings' bond is even stronger than they had claimed it to be. While every single piece of footage was heart warming enough to spark conversations it was not what caught the attention of sharp eyed netizens, but rather a singular clip filmed by the rapper in which they could be seen playing basketball.

The reason behind the influx of speculative threads on the X platform was the fact that their scars from the accident seemed to complete one another's, as where the idol was marked on the right, her brother's much more prominent ones were on the left. The most popular hypothesis is that the older man would have allegedly pulled Himari into his chest in order to protect her from the impact, which seems rather convincing due to the fact that the difference in their injuries' visibility suggests he had suffered the brunt of the impact. Amateur detectives on social media also recalled that the soccer player had made a few references to the aftermath of this tragedy in the past, in which he recalls being impaired to the point of barely being able to move for days while his sister seemed to be relatively healthier.

Making History

While life has not favored these artists in their younger years, their current standing at the top of the industry reflects the diligence in the siblings' work ethic as several pieces of history have been written through their groups despite the incredible amount of challenges they were made to overcome. The senior idols are well recognized for having paved the way for future generations while their juniors are slowly catching up to their achievements, having become the first male group to perform at Coachella and the first k-pop act to grace the stage of Mawazine, the second biggest music festival.

'At times, staying in this career was terrifying.' Himari had said rather hesitantly. 'On more than one occasion I felt like it was the end, like the exhaustion was genuinely going to kill me the second I closed my eyes. So much went on behind the scenes, we would go from one schedule to another without rest and using oxygen masks to avoid fainting became common.'

Much more weight than simply performing rests on their shoulders as both hold the position of producer, alongside several members, which demands that they constantly create new melodies in the midst of their already overwhelming schedules. Their skills have no grounds to be questioned as other well renowned idols have turned to them for their own releases, the most blatant examples being soloist IU with Yoongi and SHINee member Taemin with Himari.

Closing Statement

This documentary was heart wrenching to say the least yet placed much more meaning on the single's tracks with clear connections to dark aspects of their past now being unlocked to the public, serving as a form of closure for these siblings as well. They have truly shown that trauma does not make up the entirety of an individual as both are now known for their intoxicating happiness, giving the audience a valuable lesson about mental health and healing.

REMINDER to keep streaming Golden Hour Part : 1 by ATEEZ and support Jimin's upcoming comeback 'Muse' releasing on July 19 at 1PM (KST) along with 'Type 1' photobook by V releasing on July 9.

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A/N; Please keep in mind that while Yoongi has talked about mental health in the past, this is not an accurate representation of what he has lived as this is purely a work of fiction!

[radioisntdead]

"Please, please, please"

Hazbin OCS & sibling! Reader, mild Vox x gn! reader sibling!

Warnings: a good chunk of this was written several months ago hence the somewhat old writing style + the choppyness because the writing difference between April me and November me, Valentino UNFORTUNATELY Doesn't get beaten up, yet, reader unfortunately does,reader is a little too trusting to be in hell, reader is GN but gets compared to a 50's housewife and gets magically shoved into a 50's dress

Song used

You were rather close with your sisters, or at least you used to be, you had drifted away in recent years, you had all died together, a horrific traffic accident ripping away your precious lives.

How tragic it was, Your dear old parents had to bury three of their beloved children, your eldest sister left an entire wedding behind and the other one had only just finished veterinary school, and you? Your life had only begun, a year or so into college and just at the start of your [insert Job profession of choice here] career,

And to make matters worse? You all ended in hell!

What are the chances! And what did you even do?!

Not to mention you look different then you did alive, one thing you paid the most attention too was the soft black feathered wings that sprouted from your back.

Your sisters had become almost unrecognizable if it wasn't for the fact that their voices remained the same you would've never thought it was them!

Your second oldest sister, Theodosia, her once hazel hair now a sparkly orange, her once normal human colored skin now a shade of orange, her legs were now bug-like, she had an entire new pair of arms, she had a pair of orange butterfly wings attached to her back.

She looked like a orange creamsicle, butterfly edition.

And your other dear sister, the eldest she looked like a puppet, her limbs had screws embedded, red strings draped over her neck and torso, her skin now a deep red and porcelain-like, she now preferred to cover her face with a comedy and sorrow mask.

It took some getting used to but you all got through it, together.

It was tough at first after all, it was hell, eternal damnation!

There were sinners causing chaos, fighting, excessive drinking, and other unholy activities but you three managed to find an apartment complex near cannibal town and move in, Theodosia had gotten a job at Rosie's emporium, butterflies did have cannibalistic tendencies after all.

Your eldest sister had decided to climb the ranks and become an overlord, discarding her name and choosing another.

Deyanira was the name she chose, gaining power and territory with enough souls to build a small army

And you? Their beloved younger sibling well you always were the creative type and with the backing of your overlord sister, managed to rise up as a well-sought after artist in the pride ring, it wasn't anything super intricate but it paid well and it made you happy to do,

you would've preferred to get out on your own without the influence of your sister but what could you do? She was practically suffocating you at this point.

you had been commissioned to do a large portrait for the Vee's, and that's how you met Vox, oh how you should've rejected that commission, or asked for a reference picture and you could've sent it in the mail.

You remember like it was yesterday, it was a rather decent day, but you supposed the chaos would pick up again soon so you hurried your way to the tower,

Being greeted by a professionally exhausted sinner who directed you up where you met the Vee's, Velvette ever attached to her phone took a glance up from the device and made a muffled comment about your appearance, it seemed she didn't particularly like your outfit, Valentino was preoccupied by a lamp,

Vox gave a smile, and stepped forward to greet you, that signature public appearances smile, that somehow managed to make something in your stomach move.

That should've been your que to get out of there, quickly and swiftly, but it wasn't,

You had them pose and stay there, as you painted, glancing up at them as you sketched out a rough draft with a mechanical pencil, your eyes moved to the Vees then back to your canvas working as quick as you could as to avoid their wrath if you should take too long or do something to upset them,

You were thankful that they were distracted by their phones, and talking amongst themselves but you didn't like how Valentino would attempt to look at you every now and then, it sent an icky feeling down your spine.

You didn't notice that Vox did the same.

You got the base layer down, they, at the moment, looked like a smashed blot of colors but it takes time for art to well, art

Valentino had thankfully made an exit, cursing about some whores as he left, while Velvette got distracted by something on her phone, texting feverishly on it before walking off somewhere, perhaps something had happened to one of her models or her clothing line?

However Vox stayed, doing what you assumed was work on his phone, could he do work on his tv screen? How would that even work?

You were so glad that you weren't cursed with a TV as a head that would be so inconvenient, imagine trying to lean your head on someone's shoulder only to bonk them and give them a concussion

"How's it going?"

Vox popped up behind you breaking you out of your TV head bullying thoughts, leaning in a little too close for comfort, his claw finger brushing against one of your wings, sending a shiver down your spine.

The painting would take a couple of days to finish, you offered to work on it at home but Vox insisted on having you come up the Vee's tower every other day to work on it, It didn't matter if it was an inconvenience to you.

He'd work on whatever he does while you painted, he'd have you paint while in his office, whatever he thought to keep you nearby,

It seemed he gathered a fondness for you, and you liked the fondness, it felt nice to have someone who wanted you near them.

Your sisters, on the other hand, didn't like it, Especially Deyanira, she was an overlord herself, she knew who the Vee's were and their antics, especially in overlord meetings, Velvette's respectless musical number was still playing in her head.

she made sure to keep herself away from them aside from a couple of business deals and she wasn't naive to Valentino's reputation with his employees, especially those whom souls he had in his watered down grape juice looking hands, after all, people talk, what if he targeted you? Vox surely wouldn't protect you.

She didn't want to see her younger sibling beaten and bruised, eyes swollen shut, purples, blues and nasty glimpses of yellow scattered across you, and Theodosia would be out for blood if any of the Vee's laid a hand on you, she was a cannibal, and while grape would probably taste like mold and STDs she could probably cover up the taste with seasonings or something.

They just wanted you to be done with the painting and come back home where you were safe, with them.

You thought they were just being overprotective, they had scared off other potential love interests back when you were alive, introducing them to a someone that was going to take you on a date? They'd show up with pitchforks and fire, it was just what big sisters do!

Sometimes though, you should listen to your big sisters when they tell you the TV man isn't someone you should date.

But the soft words he said! They were sweet and just, he'd look you in the eyes and tell you he loves you, that you were his everything, wasn't that enough?

They didn't know him like you did!

The way he asked you out was oh so lovely! With flowers! He gave you gifts every week, anything from art supplies, jewelry, clothing in HIS colors and much much more...

When you finally finished the portrait, it hung up in their hall for all to see,

Vox didn't like that you wouldn't be within an arms length away, that he couldn't grab you when he wanted,

So he asked you to move in, Your sisters didn't like that.

"Excuse me, he what?"

Deyanira asked, gripping the teacup she held in her hand as you grinned,

"He asked me to move in! Into the Vee's tower! Ain't that amazing Deya?"

You said, eyes filled with nothing but excitement for the future

"He said he's gonna take care of me, I want more art supplies? He said he'd get em' for me, he treats me good, he loves me,"

Deyanira grimaced, You were acting like she did long ago, You will not end up like she did if she could do anything about it.

"You know he's full of shit right?" She said in a point-blank tone

"Deya, please, he's a good guy!"

"Good guys don't end up in hell!" Deyanira sat her teacup on the table with such force that it almost cracked the porcelain.

"They can! After all we're down here together aren't we?"

"Birdie, listen to us, The Vee's-"

Theodosia was cut off by you sighing loudly and shaking your head,

"Somewhat problematic, I'm aware but I know what I'm doing!"

"Didn't he die in like the 50's? What if he wants you to be a like 50's housewife? Ew,"

"Theo!"

"You know what was rampant in the 50's? Domestic abuse,"

"Deyanira!"

"She has a point, why do you think there were so many former housewives around? Because They killed their husbands! just stay with us, we can keep you safe!"

"I don't need you to protect me!"

You shout as you get up from the couch and move to your room, art decorations, paint splatters, stickers and much more covered the walls, pictures of you with your sisters, with Vox and others hung up on a string.

You moved quickly to grab a suitcase that laid underneath your bed as your sisters spoke amongst themselves, managing to pack a good chunk of your clothing into it before Theodosia entered your room, leaning against the door way, both pairs of arms crossed.

"Birdie, please listen to us,"

"Theo, I'm moving in with the Vee's and that's final." You said turning to look at her only for her to pull you into the hall and down the stairs, dragging you into the living room, only instead of the warm colored living room you had grown accustomed too it was now grayscale and decorated like some 50's sitcom, but more stuffy, everything felt too clean and not lived in.

Where they serious?? What was this?

Where was that music coming from?

And why was Deyanira leaning from the second floor railing?

Theodosia pulled out a flashlight and shined it upon you as if it was a spotlight, effectively blinding your eyes.

"You're a sinner who's on fire"

Oh.

Oh no.

They were singing.

"Shinin' brighter than a thousand suns"

She shined the light directly into your eyes blinding you causing you to hiss out in pain.

"Is this really love?"

You felt hands wrap around your shoulders and spin you around,

"There's no need to rush, afterlife has just begun,"

''afterlife has just begun,''

When you recovered your vision you were wearing a blue 50's styled dress.

"You're brave as you are brilliant,"

Your sister's disembodied voice sang out, if you weren't so desensitized, it'd be horrifying

"Your radiance is like a million lights,"

Nevermind even if you were desensitized it was still horrifying where was she??

''A artist on high, A colorful mind, You mesmerize,''

''You mesmerize,''

You shook your head and moved to grab a glass of wine from the counter, pouring it out into the glass you were about to take a sip only to hear a cough from the couch, you look over to see a TV glued onto the body of a mannequin, clearly meant to be mimicking Vox.

"And he's just," "He's just,"

You raised an eyebrow and took the sip anyways,

''He's just,"

Theodosia popped out from wherever she went and swatted at the mannequin causing it to vanish.

"Just some guy!"

She took the glass out of your hand and placed it to the side before taking both of your hands into hers

"Please, please, please,"

She looked into your eyes, her spiralling black ones gazing into yours.

"Please, please don't do it','

You took your hands out of hers and took a step back.

"You're bee's knees,''

She held out all four of her hands, reaching out.

''Stop being foolish, You're pie in the sky, The apple of eyes!''

You pull away tucking your hands underneath your arms.

"He's not worth your time,"

Her voice was soft and warm, you felt like you were five again, crying to your big sister about a boy pushing you down on the playground.

''So lose that guy,''

But you weren't five anymore,

''You can do a whole lot better,''

A grayscale style picture of Vox appeared on the the 50's tv, Theo pointed at it,

"Than this suit-wearing old man creeper,'' ''Old man creeper,"

They weren't wrong, you and Vox came from very different eras,

Deyanira appeared from who knows where scaring the hell out of you, she grabbed your face and stared at you

"Don't settle for less, You deserve the best,"

You couldn't see her eyes, hidden behind her comedy/tragedy mask.

"You're a double feature," "A double feature,"

You've nearly forgotten that she's trained for this type of stuff, you shook her hands off of your face, you open your mouth to say something but Deyanira gestures to the TV

"And he's just," "He's just,''

He's what?

''He's just-'' Deyanira waved her hands around trying to find the words to sing.

"A TV guy!''

"And his name is Vox, for fuck's sake!"

Okay it was an odd name but it could be worse!

''Please, please, please,''

''Please, please don't do it''

Deyanira couldn't get on her knees, puppet troubles you supposed, so she towered over you,

"You're bee's knees, Stop being foolish!"

"You're pie in the sky, The apple of eyes,''

Theodosia popped out from behind you holding a concerning amount of eyeballs.

"He's not worth your time"

Theo grabbed one of your hands.

"So lose that guy,"

Deyanira grabbed the other.

"Please, please, please, Please, please don't do it''

You were getting tired of this.

''Royalty shouldn't be stoopin' ''

Was that offensive to the royalty down here? What happened if you were royalty in life? Would that still be valid??

"You're pie in the sky, The apple of eyes,''

They pulled you towards them,

''He's not worth your time," ''So lose that guy!''

They wrapped you in their arms in a group hug, was this supposed to convince you to stay?

"How could you run off to be somebody's spouse's''

You weren't running off, it's not like you were never going to see them again.

"When you could be here with your favorite sisters,"

You rolled your eyes, your youngest sister who you assumed wasn't dead yet, and hopefully wouldn't end up here, cleverly wasn't mentioned.

"Yeah, he calls you an old soul, But he's just a child,''

Okay his temper tantrums were childish but they were cute?? No, No they weren't.

"Woah, oh, oh, oh" "Please, please, please"

You moved to leave but was pulled back by Deyanira's strings wrapping around you.

"How could you run off to be somebody's spouse?"

You opened your mouth to say something but was cut off by her singing once more.

''Please, please don't do it, You're bee's knees,''

''When you could be here with your favorite sisters,''

Again they were the only ones down here, they weren't your favorite, at least not right now.

''Stop being foolish','' "You're pie in the sky, The apple of eyes,''

You shook off her strings, leaving them to fall to the floor before Deyanira pulled them back onto her.

"He's not worth your time," "Woah, oh, oh, oh""

Oh! Deyanira's freaky little puppet people were there too, fun.

"So lose that guy."

Your sister pulled out the flashlight and blinded you again, once you regained your sight everything is back to normal, no longer in the 50's attire you somehow got yoinked into.

"Enough! I'm going to move in with him and that's final!"

You shouted before rushing back to your room to finish packing, leaving your sisters behind, Theodosia disappointed and Deyanira fuming.

The move itself was smooth, everything was good at first, wasn't perfect but then again it was hell.

But things got worse, with Vox choosing to entertain Valentino in multiple ways as opposed to you.

If you opened up about your concerns then you were hypnotized and told to let it go.

On the times Vox decided to give you affection Valentino got jealous, severely jealous.

You had gotten your own art studio, it was a decent size and near Vox.

You spent the majority of your time, when not with Vox, in there, painting away, the walls were your favorite color, old paintings of yours that you were proud of hung on the wall, your door was cracked, you had plastic on the floor to catch any fallen paint, two mugs one for drinking and one filled with paint water, and unbeknownst to you a camera was hidden around always watching you.

Music blasted through your headphones as you painted away, brush sliding across down the canvas.

Valentino left destruction in his wake, broken glass, employees ripped apart, your sister had pulled some of her people out of one of his... Productions and he was angry.

He was going to complain to Vox but he managed to spot you, through the crack of your door, how he managed to see you with his shitty eyesight? Who knows.

You didn't even hear him come in with the headphones on, you only realized he was there when he shoved a majority of your art supplies onto the ground, paint spilled, bottles broke, brushes were snapped in half.

It happened quickly you couldn't even get a word out as the paintings you worked so hard on were ripped and thrown onto the ground, frames broken and canvases ripped.

You tried to yell for him to stop, but he simply turned his rage onto you, within a mere second he grabbed onto your wings and a loud crack could be heard.

You laid down in a puddle of spilt paint, shearing pain pulsing throughout your wings and back.

Everything hurt, you felt nauseous, you couldn't even try to move your wings.

You faintly heard Vox appear, you heard things being spoken but you couldn't make them out, the last thing you recall is someone touching your face.

By the time you awoke, your wings were bandaged up, a imp dressed like a doctor was beside you, telling you to rest and not to irritate your wings until they were healed, they scrambled to leave the moment they saw that Vox was hovering over the door, Vox came in, talking about how this wouldn't happen again, how he and Valentino came to an agreement.

All you could hear was that Valentino was still there.

That despite what came out of Vox's mouth, this could happen again.

And so you could do only one thing.

Wait, you waited until your wings were healed up enough that whenever you walked they didn't ache, you waited until Vox fell asleep for the night, powering off.

You packed what you could and fled, you passed by your art studio, opening the door to a heartbreaking sight.

Your eyes darted around the room, your studio was completely destroyed, paintings that took you months to finish torn apart, unrepairable, unsalvageable.

You closed the door and continued your way down the Vee's tower.

You ran down the streets of the entertainment district of pentagram city, passing by sinners and hellborn alike, passing by billboard signs and advertisements of the Vee's.

Before you knew it you were pounding on the door where your sisters resided, looking behind you, terrified that maybe you were followed.

You remember that next you felt Deyanira's arms wrap around you, bringing you inside and wrapping a warm blanket around you.

Vox came 'round the day, when he realized you weren't around, causing Deyanira to chew him out, eventually he left.

But that didn't stop him from watching you whenever you left the house.

His face appearing on the TV's, phones, electronics.

Eventually Theodosia had enough, and as Charlie waltzed into cannibal town, singing a musical number and gaining the towns help to defend her hotel from the extermination, she had an idea.

And so after extermination day, she dragged you to her workplace during her lunch break.

You and your sister sat across from each other at the emporium, your throat felt dry, in your hands a cup of hot tea, on the table in front of you a cannibal treat.

you could hear the clock tick, counting each second, each minute until she finally spoke up,

"Bridie, have you thought of redemption?"

"Redemption?"

"Yeah, you've heard of that hazbin hotel right?"

She asked tilting her head, her antennas twitching slightly, you nodded, who hadn't? Certainly Vox had, you remember hearing him talking about it, after all the radio demon was hanging around the place.

"What do you think of getting redeemed? It'll be better then having Deya making sure that TV can't-" she was interrupted by you, wide eyed.

"What about you? And Deya? I can't just leave you here!"

"You won't have too, We're obviously going with you, dumb-dumb." She said reaching for one of the treats on the platter Infront of you, she seamlessly popped it in her mouth, glancing out the window as she chewed.

"But what about," you looked at the sinner made snacks "You know the Cannibalism thing, not the mention Deyanira's an overlord,"

"Eh, I can do a cleanse," she licked away the red smudge from her cheek, "Probably and you know Deya, she's willing to give that up if it mean we stay together."

You stay quiet for a few drawn out seconds taking a sip of your drink, you should've ordered something cold.

"And we'll go together right?"

"That's the plan.''

You take one pair of her hands in yours, they're dry.

"Let's do it, staying at a redemption hotel sounds nice.''

Good evening folks! This has been in my drafts since like April, BUT NOW IT'S OUT BECAUSE I NEED TO CLEAR OUT THE DRAFTS, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED, and I hope you have a wonderful night

Psst! You should join our discord, we can talk about our OCS!

[pr0cyon-lotor]

I'm going to just copy and paste my notes on my headcanons for the Shen siblings here just in case I get too lazy to explain and I can just refer to this post :3

Shen Muchen = SY's da-ge

Naturally very stoic but has a bleeding heart for his family. He completely separates work and family, and he will always prioritize family over anything else.

He's not good with words and actually doesn't speak much if he can help it. He's blunt and to the point, and has the habit of back tracking if something came out too mean.

He's a creature of habit and very easy to predict if you know him.

He isn't very social and didn't make friends with many people when he was in school. Many people thought he was a sort of ice prince, nope he was just socially awkward.

He stepped up to help their parents mostly because his job doesn't require face to face interaction. He is the "heir" to the business, but he really only wants to do the administrative and logistics duties.

He had the tendency to try to bring in strays as a child. He grew out of it mostly, but he does feed strays because he feels bad. The Shen residence is constantly swarmed by cats and dogs because of this.

Shen Hongxi = SY's Er-ge

He's rather playful and cunning at times, but he is also the biggest airhead of all four siblings.

He has a tendency of forgetting about basic things sometimes. He even once asked if airplanes had to make detours when they flew towards clouds, and they had to sit him down and explain that clouds were made of water vapor/ect. (They don't let him live that one down)

He likes animals in theory but would scream if a large dog started running towards him.

He's far from gullible, but he is stupid. He's the type to let himself get kidnapped just to cross it off his bucket list and have no escape plan. Their parents assigned him a bodyguard (babysitter) because of his recklessness.

He learned a lot of instruments for the sake of their parents' approval, but now plays a few string instruments for pleasure.

He's so much more sociable than Muchen and typically takes care of the talking and networking aspect of the business for him.

Shen Yuan (these are just mostly family headcanons since my personality headcanons for SY already show in my writing)

Green eyes (not as sqq. he just has them and one can convince me otherwise.)

Has been, will be, and absolutely is a little shit because he was the baby of the family for a while.

Has the worst temper of all the siblings (which is still really mild. the siblings are just mild tempered in general)

Could probably convince his siblings to get into his hobbies if he wasn't ashamed.

The type of little sibling that would taste something gross, say it tastes good to convince someone else to taste it, and laugh once someone gags.

Shen Ling = SY's meimei

Is the baby of the family, knows it, and absolutely abuses the privileges. She probably learned how to cry on command, but barely has to use it since they just give her what she wants.

She has rather thick skin and barely twitches at insults. She does exaggerate hurt feelings to either tease people or bother those insulting her.

She is outgoing and friendly to everyone she meets but holds a grudge like a motherfucker.

She was in a lot of sports clubs, but her grades were below average. She had a tutor, but it didn't help much.

She likes reading like Shen Yuan but prefers tragic romances or mystery. She does read a lot of danmei and baihe, and has tried to recommend them to Shen Yuan in more than one occasion.

She probably tried to teach Muchen brainrot, but Shen Yuan stopped her.

General sibling knowledge:

Muchen and Hongxi only have two years setting them apart, but they have an age gap of over five years with Shen Yuan and Shen Ling, who have 2-3 years between them.

Hongxi tries to get into reading to bond with his younger siblings better, but he just can't get into it. Muchen likes reading, but he isn't a fan of the same genre and prefers poems or historical fiction.

None of them have a strained relationship with each other, but it isn't the tightest either. All of them are usually too busy (Muchen and Hongxi with the business, SY with bedrotting, and SL with sports)

They're all pretty mild tempered all things considered. But all of them are a level of protective towards each other. (Rankings: Muchen, SL, Hongxi, SY)

If they were given a chance to be closer, they would be chronic shitposters

Extra: They're all a special level of oblivious

[animentality]

we talk a lot about how much ketheric hated durgetash, but what about how much orin hated durgetash? either she despised her sibling and hated seeing them happy (and also distracted from bhaal), or she actually got along pretty well with her sibling until gortash came and ruined it. she must have been so jealous, but not jealous in a “i wish it were me fucking durge/gortash” way, jealous in a “im the only one who seems to be taking this group project seriously but you’re the two getting the credit from teacher” way.

See, but here's the more tragic thing to consider...

Yes, the idea of Orin always hating Durge, and then flying off the handle because she can't handle being perpetually single and pretending it's for religious radicalism reasons is funny.

But what if Orin genuinely cared for them, because they were nicer to her than anyone else?

What if they actually had a somewhat decent relationship because deep down, they know they aren't that different?

The Dark Urge killed their parents, and they had to have felt regret...but they pushed down their feelings, and embraced being a Bhaalspawn, because what else could they do, really?

Their father would literally DISSOLVE them if they disobeyed.

But maybe they'd look at this younger fellow Bhaalspawn, and they'd remember having a childhood before that...and they'd feel bad for her. Take her under their wing.

And she, in turn, wouldn't be used to having someone who actually treats her kindly, or at least, with any degree of mercy?

I'm not sure where I read it, but I think it's mentioned somewhere, or was supposed to be in the game or something, that she tried to resist Bhaal once in the past, but was shut down.

And that is really sad to consider, because maybe Orin knew she was trapped, so, like the Dark Urge, she chose to embrace her heritage because she had no other choice.

But she and the Dark Urge have this in common, and that's why they'd get along...

Until. That fucking Chosen of Bane...

Suddenly the Dark Urge isn't spending any time with her...suddenly, they're moody, withdrawn.

Defensively angry.

See, there's a nasty note from the Dark Urge to Orin in her bedroom...

They say that Orin's blood is "impure."

And I can see why that would hurt Orin a lot...but in HER note, she just mentions how she hates how close Durge is with Gortash?

So maybe.

Hear me out...

Orin had NOT been planning on usurping the Dark Urge at all, like Sarevok says, until they met Gortash.

THEN, she felt betrayed.

Like...I thought we were alike. I thought you knew how it felt, to repress your feelings, and to embrace your destiny, instead of your own needs...but here you are.

Embracing a Banite...spending less time in the temple...with me.

So rather than feeling betrayed because she "loves" Bhaal...deep down, on a subconscious level... she's devastated because the only person she felt could understand her...was becoming someone new.

And she hated it.

And anon...

Orin is an artist at heart.

Creating grisly art was her way of expressing her individuality.

The Dark Urge mentions that they admire her art... but also that it's "useless" because Bhaal doesn't care for it...

Maybe they used to encourage her to be artistic as a child?

Because they know better than anyone, how you must suppress any sense of individuality as a Bhaalspawn. That's not what you were made for. But they knew it helped her emotionally.

And before Gortash, they lightly encouraged it, or at least allowed it...but then she starts being abrasive and complaining about Gortash.

She starts saying, do you truly serve Bhaal, or Enver Gortash, and they'd snap back, because they're defensive about it right, that she doesn't really understand what Bhaal wants???

So I think the Dark Urge showing contempt for her artwork was just a coping mechanism.

They had abandoned their individuality a long time ago, but suddenly this Enver Gortash says he likes them for them...he says, I love how smart you are...and they feel like...they're more than a Bhaalspawn...

And Orin is hurt and betrayed, because she thought they were in this together...and they're confused and anxious, over this problem that they can't simply kill...

So in short, anon.

Yes.

I think the Dark Urge and Gortash's relationship DID put a huge strain on the Dark Urge's relationship with Orin.

I think it would've really broken her heart, to know she was alone with just Bhaal for company.

I also think she needn't have worried, because they'd both get what was coming to them anyway in the end.

They were never going to last forever, her own actions be damned.

Alas, anon.

I feel...so sorry for them all.

[birlwrites]

It may be beyond what you've currently decided, but for your atfhv and general casts what's the pet line up? Alternatively, I'd be interested in your thoughts on the Blacks in this regard but essentially the idea is to ascertain for your hogwarts-based cast who has a familiar/postal owl as animals are fun.

I remain already aware Regulus tragically lacks an owl or other pet (not-so-tragically in Lachrimae, no pets dying there phew). I think Barty just uses the Crouch family owl to write to his mother and for the life of me don't actually remember about Evan (shockingly, Regulus notes everything about him). But given there's no doubt a not inconsiderable list of people who interact exclusively through school owls (I think those are a thing?) there are lots of boring characters in this regard I'm sure.

I know of Priam's (+Heather's eventually?) cat Priscilla and that you have a post noting one of his younger siblings can have an aggressive owl as a treat but recall little else that stands out about any character.

So, if you have the time and the interest a list of individual pets/animal access for key characters could be fun and hopefully low effort (I'm happy to offer types of British owls and birds of prey as inspiration with information on them if you but ask to make it easier).

"Key characters" is ultimately yours to define as the muse takes you.

oh i have a LIST

teenage regulus never has pets. i think he deserves a cat. baby regulus also thought he deserved a cat. sadly his parents did not agree #justiceforbabyregulus

barty uses the crouch family owl yes, evan has a snowy owl named caspian, heather has a barn owl named thistle, priam has priscilla as we know (it's his sister pep with the bitey owl), charlotte has an owl (possibly an eagle owl) named acorn, lily no pets, the marauders all take turns borrowing james's owl robert, likewise the mckinnons have a Family Owl at hogwarts who is ostensibly marlene's but who will pass to miranda and/or miles when marlene graduates. lily borrows this owl sometimes to continue gaslighting marlene's younger cousins about lily being a mckinnon

also bellatrix has a screech owl! she also had a pet snake when she was little and was sufficiently brokenhearted when it died that she never got another snake. mother how DARE you think i could ever replace stella

orion and walburga have an owl (mercury) who regulus technically has access to, but a) mercury is pretty much always out and about between both orion and walburga's sheer volume of correspondence, and b) regulus would much rather get evan to handle the Owl Interaction for him

[dollarbin]

Dollar Bin #37:

Michael Penn's March

Here's another story. Again, mostly true.

In 8th grade I got a bad case of Chicken Oak.

Never heard of Chicken Oak? It's what you get when you are a pimply, insecure and pale skinned 8th grader who is forever crazy about a girl named Anjanette and you get a bad case of poison oak from fooling around outside your grandparents' ranch house in the San Gabriel mountains, a case so bad you have to miss school and spend your days instead slathering your pubescent 90 pound body with oatmeal-type concoctions which do not help and you can't sleep for days at a time and are starting to climb out your bedroom window at 2am and wander around your neighborhood while listening to your poorly-dubbed-from-the-library copy of The Cure's Disintegration on your primitive walkman and so your parents, concerned about your illness and Robert Smith's whole vibe, take you to Urgent Care and have you shot up with steroids to utterly silence your raging immune system but, little did you or anyone else know, your younger siblings were all just exposed to the Chicken Pox and you were born in the 70's, long before there was a vaccine, and you've never had that ridiculous childhood disease, so a few days later you've added a disabled immune system's mammoth version of the pox to the oak and you're no longer a pimply and insecure 8th grader; rather you are the elephant man in a full blown teenage health crisis: one eye is literally swollen over into a giant pulsating wound and every inch of you is leaning into shivering panic.

That's the Chicken Oak, folks: a formative illness indeed.

It takes a month of living in the late 80's with the condition to discover that at 2am some vampire takes over control of MTV, removes the Fine Young Cannibals from the rotation and plays obscure stuff instead, the kind of music you'll never encounter on the Top 20 Countdown with this guy.

And that's how you discover Michael Penn.

I loved this song from the first moment I saw the video, and I spent the rest of my sleepless month with the poison poxs trying to catch it on air again.

Part of the attraction was its illusive (at least to 14 year old me) lyrics. Penn struck me as a sensitive and bashful poet with a record contract who was terribly alluring to all thoughtful ladies; but he also read deep books and sang passionately about both topics - he basically embodied my ideal future.

I knew about Romeo in a basic sense: he was one of Shakespeare's teenagers and he surely gave some big deal speeches in a play I'd never seen nor read; he was the kinda guy who climbed his lady friends' balconies and died tragically for love, just like I too might one day die for the love of sweet Anjanette, except I'd probably never see her again because I was surely disfigured for life and therefore would soon be forced to relocate to a cave in Brazil where I'd live under an assumed name and terrify children from the village.

But who the hell was Heathcliff? Judging by the video and the song's overall sweet vibe I felt pretty sure this way cooler brother to Sean wasn't singing about the Garfield rip off.

I wanted to track Michael Penn down and claim him as my new and now surely, after my month of isolation, only friend: what books should I read, Michael? How do you make your hair look so cool? Why doesn't my six string sound like yours? And is that a drum machine playing in your song? Are drum machines even ethical, Michael? Should I get black jeans? If so, where? Help me, Michael!

Before my month of misery was up I weaseled my anxious mother into going to Sam Goody without me and buying me March, Penn's debut album, on tape. Then I played it nonstop.

The whole record sounded homemade and majestic, a fitting soundtrack addition alongside the aforementioned Disintergration and Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars for the day long bikes rides I began to take as my entire face crusted over and started to harden up, like a rotten egg regrowing its shell.

Every song seemed like an entire world on its own, the melancholic yet catchy choruses waking up bits of what would become my future self. I knew what it was like to sleep on a bed of nails;

I too wanted a place in the brave new world.

I began to heal as Spring drew to a close: the sores became scabs; I was hideous and doomed, but no longer a literal danger to others. I watched midnight MTV out of habit, not necessity, and No Myth fell out of the 2am rotation.

I pictured my return to school with dread: my friends would have moved on; they were nice guys so they'd pretend to welcome me back, but I'd slip away, leaving them relieved: the disfigured can claim no place in a middle school. And so I planned to make my way to the far end of the school's middle level at breaks, the spot on campus where the deepest misfits and poor special ed kids gravitated so as to rock in place, weeping, drooling and laughing without cause. They'd be glad to have me. For the rest of my life. That cave in Brazil was just a pipe dream.

But then, miracles unfolded.

First, Michael Penn returned to MTV for a second split second. Seriously: I really believe this video was only shown once on the network. It was 2am and I was the only person watching. Join me, won't you? Let's give it its second showing of all time:

Okay, I hear you. Jimi Hendrixs Michael is not. And the actor brought in to air strum the bass is an embarrassment. And yes, there is no explanation whatsoever for the creep in the foreground, and I cannot explain any of the plot here to you.

But come on: check out that lady defying gravity! Note how nothing of substance musically occurs in the last 30 seconds; they just keep playing the same, slow and sweet keyboard hook. And admit it: Michael looks more like Hugh Grant's sibling than Sean's. Maybe there was a mix up in the hospital or something. Wow, I still really love this stuff.

When that first and only showing of the video ended I stood up, defiant. I turned MTV off and, basically, never watched it again. Suddenly it seemed like there were more important things to do.

And when I climbed on my bike a day or two later, ready for the first return to school, that same sense still surged in me. I didn't know what to call it, but it felt good. I picked up my buddy Matt on the ride in and joyfully told him to not worry about it when he asked what the plan was for, you know, explaining my face. Being a thoroughly excellent human being, he trusted me and asked no further questions.

"Yeah, I've got herpes," I happily declared to all 614 of the 8th graders who stared at me that day. "I've got it pretty bad!"

Here's a secret, Dollar Binners, a secret you are welcome to pass on to anyone you know who's still in middle school: when faced with teenage adversity it's time to go big and be weird or just fold up and whimper. I did the former, and I've tried doing it ever since.

Matt, and the few other people who mattered, stuck with me that day. In fact they thought my whole approach was pretty awesome. Together we gave up on being popular and settled for joyful instead. We turned up Michael Penn and embraced our own individual selves, scabs and all.

P.S. As you can tell from the stock photo in the opening, this is a record I don't yet own. And my 80's tape is long, long gone. Someday I will come across a copy of March in the Dollar Bin. It will be tattered and unloved, full of skips and crunches. It will be wonderful.

[misakiq3q]

Hi, this is my first post here, and i'd like to share with you one of my Bungou theories. I hope you will like it regardless on the fact that the theme of the theory isnt very popular and rather hated by fandom.

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

My theory about Tanizaki siblings

Who is Naomi

Naomi is a younger sister of Junichiro. Although we know age of Junichiro (18), we dont have canonical approval of Naomis age. We can only guess. And mine is that shes 2-3 years old younger. However, in my theory, this physical age of her doesnt matter. Because Naomi is not real.

More about my theory

Naomi is just projection of Junichiros Light snow. In my theory, Naomi once was a real life person, but something very tragic happened to her and she died at a young age (im guessing around 8-11 years old). Junichiros body and brain responded with rewriten memories and creation of ‘real‘ Naomi. His will to make Naomi come back to life was so strong, that she took a physical form. We can see with Elise, that something like this is possible.

What happened to Naomi?

Everyone for sure notice pretty well, that Junichiro has a real switch when it comes to his baby sister. And i cant think otherwise, than that he has split up personality (trauma related, he vitnessed his parents being killed/or he found their corpses) and she is his trigger. Junichiro in this state is coldblooded, emotionless (except anger) and brutal, he will kill anyone if it means saving or revenge for Naomi. But what if its like this only because he wasnt once able to save her? In fact, I think that Junichiro is her killer. His alt persona took over him in no good moment, and in anger he killed her. This moment led to absolute trauma for normal/host Junichiro and he couldnt possibly take it. And as i said, his brain responded in a way of a creation of Naomi with physical form and forgetting that something like this ever happened.

More brutal thing i think is: Junichiro lived with corpse of Naomi for some time without realizing. He never realized it, because ‘new‘ Naomi cleaned it when he wasnt at home.

Why i think it gives sence

In a first place, Naomi is the only and only character in a show, that didnt exist in real life. ‚Naomi‘ is a Light novel written by Junichiro Tanizaki. (this also gives me ideas on how she can be connected to the mystery book everyone is after in bsd, but that can be for some other time to write about)

I made an observation about her touching people, since it catched my eye. From what i remember, Naomi touched with someone for only 4 times in whole 22 volumes (excluded Junichiro). But it was never her, who initiated it, it was always someone else.

For example: Atsushi choking her -> Atsushi touched Naomi

Q bumping into her and the second girl -> Q touched Naomi

Isn’t it weird? What if she isnt able to touch anybody because of the fact, they could be able to somehow break this physical illusion.

Naomis behaviour is at least weird. Shes not acting like -my guess- 15-16 year old girl. Shes acting really childish and her clinginess towards her brother fits more for an elementary school little girl, than almost grown up adult woman. It would make sence that even tho her illusion self was and is still growing, her personality stays the same. Junichiro cant possibly know how Naomi would be like after growing up. And since he doesnt even know she is illusion he cant control her and change her personality.

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝

This my theory is just one of my few overthinks. I know its long, but i tried my best to write my thoughts so it gives sence to u guys. I truly belive this theory of mine but if u guys have any opinion on this (positive or negative) im open to hearing them.

Thank u for reading this long long paragraph. Have a nice day and stay safe ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #246

Do you have a favourite sibling? I get along with my younger sister better, and I just generally find her more likable, but I don't have a "favorite."

Ever tried carrot juice? That sounds disgusting to me.

Would you rather wear a suit or dress? Dress.

How do you like your eggs if you like them at all? Only scrambled, with cheese is a definite benefit.

Ever seen snow? Yup.

Favourite holiday? So, vibes-wise, Halloween. I do get more enjoyment out of Christmas itself, though. I like our traditions and just hanging out as a fam.

Do you have a Nintendo Switch? No.

Ever skipped class? Not an independent class, but rather a full school day.

What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Cherries. Mangoes because I despise the texture.

Are both your eyes the same colour? Yep.

Do you like glittery things? Yes.

Opinion on brussel sprouts? Inedibly disgusting to me.

How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? You couldn't pay me any amount for that, the humiliation would be debilitating.

Last time you went ice skating? Never.

Painting or drawing? Drawing, painting stresses me out because it's messy.

Are both your ears pierced? Yes.

Do you think it’s cute when you’re going down the road and see a dog with its head hanging out the window? Yes.

Do you have a favorite drummer? I'm kinda biased towards Christoph Schneider because he's Rammstein's drummer and he's a lovely guy, but there are probably more talented drummers. I don't pay too much attention to drums in songs.

Do you like to earn your own money or do you prefer that your parents/family buy you things? I don't have a source of income, at all, and I absolutely despise it.

Does anyone in your family play in a band? What band? No.

What’s the biggest spider you’ve come across? Either an orb weaver or wolf spider, in natural circumstances. I've seen a large tarantula at an expo, though.

Have you ever been bitten by anything poisonous? Venomous, not poisonous. No.

Which Mario game would you say is your favorite? That is, if you even like Mario? I've enjoyed Mario Kart, but I'm in general not big on the franchise.

Do you have a DeviantART account? I have two, a main one for my photography and a second for my drawings.

Have you ever gotten wasted off cough/cold medicine? No.

What’s your opinion on thoroughbred racing? I know absolutely nothing about this.

Has there ever been a Christmas where you had to do without gifts-wise? No.

Have you ever pet a tarantula? Yes, I have, but you're not supposed to pet a tarantula due to their urticating hairs. Old World tarantulas don't have these hairs, so you don't have to worry about that, but they have more potent (but not fatal) venom, so you really shouldn't be irritating them. I pet a rose-haired tarantula before I knew ANYTHING about them, and sure enough, my skin got very irritated.

Have you conquered any fears recently? No.

Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug-related crash? Yes, a childhood best friend actually. It was extremely tragic, because HER best friend died because of it.

Did you celebrate Father's Day? We used to go out to lunch, but this year we actually didn't do anything, idk why exactly.

Do you ever wonder if there really is someone who can complement your personality well enough to stay together for the rest of your life? I do wonder this. I worry Girt will eventually grow tired of me.

Do you hate how being bisexual is like a trend? It's literally not a trend, shut the fuck up.

Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, they creep me out. It would certainly NOT help me relax.

Do you have a good relationship with your first love? We have no sort of relationship.

What is something you’re currently nervous about? Adjusting to this time change. I react so poorly to change, and I really don't like it getting dark SO early. Change just really elevates my anxiety.

Do you ever tend to over-analyze? THAT'S MY SPECIALTY, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you react when you’re pissed off? I either shut down big time, not talking, or I get very snappy. Actually, more often than anything, I cry.

What celebrity did your most current ex resemble? I don't know of a celebrity, but she actually shared a lot of visual similarities with the character Amalie from the Silent Hill: The Short Message game, at least to me. I remember when they show her face for the first time, I was like "holy shit."

What is something creepy that has happened to you (or someone you know) recently? *shrug*

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder before? How did it affect your daily life? Well, I have sleep apnea. I also have this weird thing where I have episodes of severe nightmares/terrors where I wake up screaming (and before Prazosin I used to flail and attack things), this has been a thing since I think 2018, and no doctor has figured it out. I go through periods where I'm fine, then episodes where I'm having them every night.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience: I haven't, thankfully.

Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? Yes.

Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? Yes.

What are some interests you have in common with your parents? Metal and rock music is the biggest. My mom likes artsy stuff, including writing, but she barely EVER ever does that. I wish she'd do more with it.

How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? I don't know, actually.

If you could go to one country for two weeks, all expenses paid, where would you go and why? Right NOW, Germany. I want to visit South Africa to visit the KMP, but I would want to be in better shape for that because I'd be out in the desert.

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? Less, I'm sure. But I drink SO much more water than I used to; I used to survive off the water I'd get from food and other beverages, and I'm not exaggerating. I once used to drink zero actual water, and mind you this was a long period of time.

Do you like taking walks? Walks are very difficult for me. Not as hard as they once were, but I have SHIT endurance, and I still deal with leg pain after going through muscle atrophy there. I really sucked at keeping up with exercise after I finished physical therapy... and then once my slump of the year hit in I wanna say July, exercise just stopped happening. I WANT to one day be able to take walks and enjoy it... I'm just really struggling to get to that point.

What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? My mom is totally cool with them. I feel like Dad doesn't like tattoos too much, but he doesn't seem to have too big of an opinion. I have no idea what he feels about piercings, but he's never complained about mine.

What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? I'm a very strict atheist. Both my parents are Christian.

Do you remember The Land Before Time movies? Who was your favorite character? I LOVED these movies! Well... I think I only saw the first two, but the first was a big part of my childhood. I had a computer game, too. I think Littlefoot was my favorite.

What’s your favorite genre of book to read? Animal fantasy.

Who has more influence over your taste in music - friends or family? Neither???? My interests are my own, no one "influences" them.

Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? I am.

Do you think going to college/university is the best option after you’ve left school? This is an independent choice. I tried college three times, and it was absolutely not for me. The stress and pressure was not something I could manage.

Is it easy to sleep late in your house, or are other people pretty noisy in the mornings? It's pretty easy, so long as it's not a Friday, when Emerson (and on special occasions her two older siblings) is here. Mom tends to close my door though, at least just enough so Roman can still squeeze through, so that helps.

Do you prefer watching movies alone or with other people? With other people, always. I never watch movies on my own.

What’s your favourite place to get pizza from? Domino's, even though they can be hit-or-miss.

Do you like those different flavored Tootsie Rolls? I really don't like Tootsie Rolls, I don't think I've ever tried an untraditionally flavored one.

Think of the last verbal argument you were in; what caused it? Long story short, I didn't want squishy grapes because I'm EXTREMELY particular about texture in food (autism thing, it's not a mere "dislike"), I'd rather not eat than eat squishy grapes because the texture literally makes me shudder. My mom was being very non-understanding about it, even though she's thoroughly familiar with how I am with texture in food.

Do you smoosh bugs, or just let ‘em go? I either ignore them or take them outside.

What was the last thing you deleted off of your computer? Good question.

Where would you like to be in 5 years? Hopefully living with Girt, doing far better mentally and physically. I pray the fuck to god I have a source of income.

What was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? The breakup, I think.

How would your best friends describe you? A worrywart. Shy. Cares a lot about what's going on in the world.

Do you prefer dating just one person and seeing where it goes or dating multiple people until you make a decision? One person.

What is the craziest thing that you’ve done with someone? Drove in the passenger's seat with a driver who was high on weed. And might I add, weed is illegal here. IF she got pulled over, I also would have gone to jail. I wanted to piss myself, I was too nervous to tell her I didn't want to ride with her while she was high.

Did you ever judge someone for the dark secrets they told you? If it's in their past, no, because the past is the past and people change. But I mean, if you tell me something evil that is still relevant to who you are, yes, I'm judging you.

What’s your love language? Words of affirmation, quality time.

What was your favorite romantic moment and why? I just. Don't talk about it, because it's painful.

Do you believe in soulmates? Nope.

Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes.

You want to get married? One day, yes.

Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? I've only been in a handful of relationships, and most were long-term. No.

Are you wearing socks right now? No, I very much avoid wearing socks unless I'm wearing close-toed shoes. Otherwise, socks are a sensory nightmare for me.

Who was the first person you talked to today? My mom.

Do you firmly believe that everything happens for a reason? Absolutely not.

Do you prefer soy sauce or Teriyaki sauce? I don't think I like either, I'd have to try Teriyaki to refresh my memory. I KNOW I don't like soy sauce.

Are the pictures on your computer organized in folders? Yes.

How many scars are on your arm? None, that I can remember.

Do you understand Japanese text? No.

What is your favorite chip brand? Uh. Maybe Cheetos, idk.

If you have a Facebook, is yours privatized? Why or why not? Yes, because stranger danger.

Can you cry on cue? What about laugh? I can't cry on cue, but I mean, I could force a laugh.

Can kittens ever be ugly? I don't think so.

What foods do you always put salt on? Fries and tater tots. Plain rice. Scrambled eggs.

If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get? Considering I've been unemployed the vast majority of my adult life, I think it's obvious I won't. I am not employable in almost any case.

[hexarcana]

Do you have any more lore regarding Steven and/or Jane that you’re siting on?

At any given time I’m sitting on so much lore lol

I’m gonna do a cut to preserve the dash. Buckle in, I have a lot:

I'll start with Jane since I basically re-wrote most of her lore in light of what I now know about canon thanks to TBOB.

Originally, Jane was basically a proxy oc to ship with Ford. And honestly she still kind of is like that (though I'm flexible and dont need to ship her they could just be pals?), but I've re-worked her a bit more. If you recall her old lore, it basically was the very simple "Ford met this ghost girl before the portal, they had a brief relationship, they reunite after he gets back, she as a tragic backstory that never really gets resolved bc im 19 and cant think that far ahead" This served me well back in the day but now that we know just how screwed Ford's life was pre-portal, He simply wouldn't have had time nor the energy to have a fun little flirtationship with a ghost. He was too busy literally going insane. So her story doesn't begin in the context of the main story until after Ford's return. I think he still met her before the portal in his examination of ghosts, but they likely didn't communicate much, since Jane isn't the type to make herself known to the living. So he has a vague knowledge of her from what other ghosts have told him, and she recalls him as a younger man. This is the extend of their 'relationship'

Jane's backstory hasn't changed that much, though I've kinda given her some ~mystique~ in labelling her as "Gravity Falls’ First Ghost" and the result of "Gravity Falls’ First Murder."

Her story goes that she was an Oregon settler, part of the first wagon trains that followed Quentin Trembley. She was the eldest child in a large farming family, and she had aspirations to be a writer. This of course would be kind of hard, considering it was the 1840s and she lived in a pretty lawless, unestablished place such as Gravity Falls. She resigned herself to just working on her writing while helping maintain her parents farm and helping look after her younger siblings. She never married, mostly because she found most of the men around her to be "incredibly boring" and she would rather focus on her work.

However, she did catch the eye of quite a few men, and her parents had essentially arranged to marry her off to a rich guy in town. Jane was 30 at the time, which was kinda unheard of for the time? She maintained that she wouldn't do it, though. It was a major point of contention with her family. But they werent the only people who were mad. The man she was being promised to had another woman who was very fond of him. Her name was Emily. Her whole deal isn't important apart from one big thing: Total Witch. Big Witch Energy. Basically the kind of woman you DONT mess with.

Emily was furious that Jane was going to marry her beloved (a guy named Isaac) and planned to take violent and horrible revenge. Which SUCKS ecause Jane literally probably wouldn't have gone through with the wedding, she likely would have wormed out of it somehow. But Emily took matters into her own hands. She lured Jane into the woods under the guise of helping a child who was hurt there. Jane had no reason to distrust her so she goes along, not realizing she was putting herself in danger.

When they reached a place in the woods, Jane starts to get suspicious. Emily invites five other witches to appear and they all attack Jane, with Emily dealing a fatal cursed blow to her back, which caused Jane to bleed out and die. She was then left there, and was found a few days later. She was the first person murdered in Gravity Falls. The area of the woods she was found in was dubbed to be a dangerous and evil place, and it mostly remained untouched until a man named David Yearling purchased the land to build a house over a hundred years later….

Anyway, this resulted in Jane not only being a ghost, but thanks to the curse placed on her, she is unable to move on, no matter how many things she tries. She's stuck in between the lands of the living and the dead. She's able to exist in either, but is unable to fully cross over to what is referred to as "The Hereafter." Luckily, the curse also beefed up her abilities as a ghost, making her rather dangerous.

She watched every member of her family either leave Gravity Falls or die and be buried there. She was unable to reach any of them, doomed to an afterlife separate from her loved ones and stuck in a very dull purgatorial state. And that's kind of how she's been existing. She spends a lot of time just. Vibing? Like she's just around, in the cemetery usually. She definitely needs some sort of catalyst to activate her story. That could be anything really, but I've always pictured a ghost hunt gone crazy, or some sort of “the gang visits the ghost realm” or whatever.

Janes been around for so long that most of the other ghosts in Gravity Falls don't actually know what happened to her. So they often lie, or make stuff up. This is because Jane ended up telling them different versions of the story, flexing her skills as a storyteller. This is basically the only form of entertainment she has.

This iteration of Jane is perhaps a bit drier than her previous interpretation. She's pretty straightforward and blunt, though she has a very whimsical side in the form of her storytelling. She's just waiting for something to happen to her.

And now, the boy!!!

With Steven it’s always tricky bc he almost doesn’t feel like he’s a canon character, like I can’t 100 percent commit to him being part of the full “Hexarcana” lore bc the dynamics of the Yearling household change so drastically when he’s around (Part of what really makes the duo of Aggie and Olive is the fact that they're a DUO, ya know?)

He almost feels like he is the centerpiece of a very specific AU since I haven’t really incorporated him into a lot of things, he’s just.. His own guy?? But I’m always happy to include him if folks want him. Here’s what his current like… Entrance to the story is. He’d get discovered sometime during the following summer in GF, after the Stan’s are back and the twins are visiting again. While out exploring, Olive (and likely the twins) are attacked by ~something~ and the thing that ends up saving them turns out to be a very scared little boy living in a cave. The kids argue over who’ll take the kid home and they decide Aggies a safer bet bc Ford *might* want to dissect this literal child. Olive deduces he's a Vampire, though its pretty obvious with the fangs and blood drinking.

Olive takes him home and Aggie pretty quickly becomes attached to him, helping him with her magic and powers of motherhood to help him learn how to do things like read and speak. Initially he could only communicate with her alone using telepathy. This made him pretty dependent on her.

Aggie always wanted a big family, and she especially wanted more kids. And she knows she's an older gal, but she's sure no one could look after this supernatural child as well as she could. It's tricky though. Olive isn't opposed to keeping him (she becomes pretty attached to him, since she's always wanted siblings) but there's some logistic issues with a boy suddenly appearing in someone's life out of nowhere. Luckily, Aggie knows a guy 😉 who's an expert on forging identification documents. So getting him a birth certificate (naming Aggie as his mother) and other identification is pretty easy. Aggie isn't opposed to raising a child at her age. Again, she wanted a big family and lots of kids. She's already basically raising Olive. She was a single mom, she can do it again- but the thing is, especially in our writing, she isn't exactly a single mom.

She has to wrestle with how to explain to Stan that she's doing the whole 'mom' thing again, for a little seven year old vampire. Obviously she doesn't expect Stan to really like? Participate in any way like a ~dad~ would, like she just imagines he'll treat him the same as Olive. There are no expectations from her, bc she’s aware that it would be a pretty massive ask to get any real help in raising him. But inevitably, I think they'd end up bonding and maybe even becoming pretty close.

I've delved into this a bit with some friends on discord, so I'll put some that in here:

Here’ some other Steven stuff, just little facts and things:

-He has a stutter that he will continue to have into adulthood. He does speech therapy and it helps but he speaks pretty slowly and has a pronounced stutter. He isn’t all that insecure about it, eventually being so bold as to comment that “If you didn’t learn to talk until you were seven you’d probably be bad at it too”

-He was born to two visiting vampires who ended up leaving him behind when they got chased off by vampire hunters. He was probably three when they left. He was able to look after himself, remarkably. He survived on a diet of mice, frogs, and one gnome that he REALLY felt bad about. To this day he can’t see a gnome without getting very sad and also hungry.

-He is VERY shy, HATES violence and hurting things, and cries VERY easily. He's a very sensitive little guy who hates the fact that his species relies on killing things to live. If he could, he'd stop being a vampire forever. He'd love to be a normal human boy. Aggie alleviates a lot of this by getting blood for him, usually via theft from the local hospital.

-He CAN eat and drink foods that aren't blood, though if he doesn't balance it with the right amount of blood intake he cant get kinda sick. His favorite food is cherry flavored candy since its the first thing he ever ate that wasn't a mouse or frog. (Olive gave it to him when she found him)

-He's got a lot of cool vampire powers. He possesses enhanced strength, speed, sensory skills (especially smell and hearing), telepathy, small scale telekinesis, can hypnotize people into doing his bidding and the ability to turn into a bat (though he has NO idea how this is done so he has no clue its part of his powers)

-Regardless of how Stan feels about him, Steven likes him. He thinks he's funny and he likes that he makes his mom happy. He does NOT like Ford, though. Ford scared the bejeezus out of him by talking about dissection or conducting research on him. I'd put money on Ford almost going through with it until Aggie literally knocks some sense into him.

-Being younger, he doesn't pal around with the twins or even Olive that much outside of at-home activities. He spends a lot of time by himself or keeping Aggie company. He likes playing with the dogs and climbing trees. He will join up for adventures where they need extra muscle, bc even as a seven year old he's stronger than your average adult man.

-As a teeanger he's a sports STAR at GF High School. I'm talking Captain of the Varsity Football team, playing baseball and soccer, running track, etc. He's very athletics and uses sports as a way to channel some aggression issues that came up as he got older. He ends up being pretty popular and well liked.

**Like Aggies status as a witch, him being a vampire is technically a secret but anyone who looks at him would probably conclude that he’s a Vampire. I’m sure early on in his stay in GF there’s some like??? Uproar about him but he’s such a little baby who couldn’t and wouldn’t hurt a fly that he kind of gets a free pass and people just kinda forget or ignore what he is.

[fandxmslxt69]

hello beloved!!! <3

13, 18, 26

oh my gosh my love!!! hello dearest <333

13. How many siblings do you have? Are you oldest, middle, or youngest?

UGHHHH. Lmao. Uuuh I have 3 siblings, two brothers and a sister- I'm the oldest!!! Tough tough job let me tell you. It's fun I guess, because I've got dirt on everyone and I'm one less for my parents to worry about. But it's also kinda tragic cuz I feel held to such a standard my siblings see me as enemy #1 because I "get everything I want". I mean YEAH I more or less do but consider: my work really hard to collect enough Parent Points to get my stuff soooo really it's their fault :/ NOT TO SOUND DRAMATIC but its also kinda tragic cuz like between me and my younger sister is nearly a whole lifetime. My youngest brother is in that horrible middle school boy phase, and the older one is so distant I think he'll ditch the family as soon as he can. Also- lmao the anger issues that run in this household!!!

ANYWAY THIS GOT OFF TOPIC (love chatting abt sibling dynamics) but yeah, 3 siblings, I'm the oldest, it's such a blast I would not trade this life for anything.

18. What's the most expensive thing you've ever bought?

Stares at my bookshelf that has over 3k dollars worth of books. uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hmmmmm. I mean, other than my books, my mom usually buys me most of my stuff. Like no yeah sure I go clothes shopping but she's always there cuz a) i cant make choices and b) i cant be trusted with a credit card and c) i dont have my own money ahahaha. So ummm yeah, most expensive thing has to be my books (bought a book once for 30 bucks.) or my computer/laptop/thing (200 bucks, but it was my dad who got it sooooo) I mean I have clothes that were rather expensive like coats and shoes, but I never bought that stuff with my own money (has never worked a real job in her life other than library tutoring) so my books are the #1 i guess.

26. Do you believe in second chances?

Hm. If it's an honest, little mistake, sure. But if it's something bigger? My pride won't let me. My mom drilled it into me pretty young. Funny enough I got pushed around pretty easily growing up, and I didn't really know how to say no (most of that was due to being thrown into an environment in which i a) could not speak nor understand the language and b) i was. well. Not White and thought I had to appease everyone so no one could pick on me). Anyway yeah my mom drilled it into me that second chances had to be earned and only for the right things. STORY TIME!!! Gosh oh gosh okay, so I got pushed back a couple years in school when we first moved to Canada, hence why I'm so behind on everything. When I (finally) hit 5th grade, I remember I made 2 good friends. One of them, my parents were friends with her parents, the other was this nice white girl whom friend A had known for a very long time. I was kindly invited into their group (I'd known them for about a year or so but was never very close) and I tagged along! It wasnt unusual, since we lived in a small area and went to the local school, so pretty much the entire grade knew each other and we (the 20 smth kids) were always in the same class together for a solid 3 years. Anyway, these girls were fun and we had a good time but shit went DOWN and it kind of fucked me up real bad. I still think abt it to this day. Long story short they spread shit abt people in their little diaries and the teachers caught them and they thought I was apart of it but TURNS OUT I was the CENTER of the shit talking and to this DAY, nearly a decade later, my parents refuse to tell me about any of it. I gave them quite a few chances before and after bc we had some fights, and in the end it like just. it humiliated me completely. Anyway lmao um um um yeah, ever since that shit I kind of stuck to avoiding second chances.

If it's not deserved, it's not happening. They're cut from my life immediately. I simply refused to let myself be put in that same vulnerable position again. So no, I don't really believe in second chances. If it was an honest mistake, a misunderstanding, miscommunication or something harmless, I'm okay. It's fine, it'll wash over. But most other shit? Man I can't handle it at ALL. My pride genuinely won't let me. I'll end up burning all the bridges in anger before I even consider it.

UMMM THAT WAS LONG WOW but im tired and idc anymore. WHOOPS

THANKS FOR THE ASK AMPHI i love you :D

[soupbabe]

Could I get the Bucci gang and Diavolo with a ghost sibling? (like the one you did with Dio and the Crusaders) I really appreciate your writing and you've inspired me to try to write my own reader stories sometime!

Ghost Sibling HCs: Bucci Gang Edition! (+ Diavolo)

Oh my god that's so nice of you to say!! I think it's so cool that I actually inspired someone!! Ily so much anon!! <3 My only impression of Diavolo just has been his fight w Bruno, so I just wiki'd everything for him. So I apologise if he's not entirely in character!! Also, I genuinely had nothing for Abbacchio so he's not in this one. I really hope you don't mind

Warnings!: Goes into how reader died, Spoilers for Part 5, and Mentions of abuse from Giorno's part! Please stay safe !

Bruno Bucciarati

You were an older sibling of Bruno and you also stuck around with your father when the divorce came along

You commonly worked along with your father and ended up getting murdered when the gangsters infiltrated the boat

While your father was able to survive, you died at the scene. Your soul set to haunt the surrounding dock

Although it was tricky trying to see you due to the lingering fear of potential gangsters, Bruno always managed to find a way to visit you

It was hard for the younger Bucciarati, he cared about you as much as he did his father

Almost every visit was paired with a somber undertone, no matter how normal you tried to make it

But you were proud of Bruno and the man he's become today and you two still keep in touch

I do believe that as he gets older, he'd look at this place with a bit more fondness. Replacing the tragic memory of you and your father with all the times you tried to be there for him

When he became Capo, Bruno made certain to keep tabs on the small fishing village, making sure your resting place is in pristine condition

He's well aware that you might not get to pass on and he just wants to do what can to get you the best

Giorno Giovanna

You were Giorno's older step-sibling, having there be a 5-8 year age difference between the two of you

You were well aware of your father's abuse and did what you could to protect your little brother

Of course, your father didn't take too kindly to your behavior and it only made your punishments worse

One night, your father took out most of his anger onto you and it ended up killing you

Your soul latched onto Giorno, wanting to keep on protecting him even in death

You were there for him through everything and you were happy that he was able to find better family through the gang

And even in the gang, you were able to find your own peace in a way

(mostly) everyone welcomed you with open arms and it was a nice change of pace from talking to only Giorno for the past 10 or so years

Pannacotta Fugo

You were an older sibling, praised by your parents and used as an example for Fugo to follow

He never really resented you because of it though. You were helpful when he had the toughest lessons and treated him with the care that your parents never gave

I can imagine Fugo accidentally killing you during one of his rages, you got too close and he lashed out at you

As if he wasn't freaked out and panicked over your murder, seeing your ghost wasn't any better

He ignored any note of your presence, leaving it up to some hallucination rather than a ghost of all things

It took him a while to actually accept the fact that you're still with him and it was really awkward for a while

It made his guilt about the situation worse tbh, like it's been too long that he can't really apologize for what he did to you

And I don't imagine you being too happy either. Spending your eternity with your murderer and have him deny your existence for a couple of months does hurt

It's just one of those cases where your relationship couldn't be repaired after death, leaving you both to spend each other's company with an awkward weight on each other's shoulders

Both of you were never well taught in emotions so trying to cope with something as strange as this is not likely.

Narancia Ghirga

You were Narancia's twin sibling

you were just as loyal as him so you didn't bat an eye when he proposed that you both take Polpo's test

It's not like he would do it without you anyways, you two were a package deal

What he didn't take in account was you not surviving the stand arrow

It really did break Narancia seeing you dead and then seeing your ghost, looking like nothing happened

I feel like you haunting him furthers his denial of your actual death. That it doesn't actually matter since you're still next to him and able to laugh like nothing happened

It would be a combination of you and Bucciarati to help him with his grief, but he was still joyful to have you around

Even though you couldn't interact much with the physical world, he still invited you to his math lessons with Fugo and treated you as a valid member of the gang

Guido Mista

You were Mista's younger sibling that haunted his apartment

He'll admit that it was a bit freaky dealing with you at first, but he managed to adapt to it pretty quickly

He was able to live his usual carefree lifestyle, the added money from being apart of Passione was used for making the house a bit more comfortable

He felt bad that you couldn't leave and tried to make it more bearable

Plus he did it as an apology for all the times you cleaned up the pigsty that is his room

He also enjoyed that you were also free home security

He's made a couple of enemies in his time and having someone who can't be injured through typical means was helpful

He always enjoyed the occasional stories you told of the intruder's terrified faces at the fact that their guns and knives had no effect on you

But even if you were already dead, he'd ask for the faces of the idiots who disrespected and tried to kill to you.

Just because you're dead doesn't change the fact that you were still his family and he needed to teach those losers a lesson when you can't do it yourself.

Diavolo

Oh my god I'm so sorry for you

Listen, this man was not above attempted murder of his own daughter to hide his identity. You would've been one of his first targets

When he'd see that you never actually died, he would use whatever he had in his arsenal to get rid of you

But of course nothing worked, having to come to terms that you were a ghost

I don't think this could make his paranoia worse because technically you are gone and you can't go outside without him/Doppio, it's just a great inconvenience

He usually acts like you don't exist, yelling at you if you were to interact with the mafia boss

To Doppio you were only known to be a close friend of the boss and nothing else

He would happily chat with you, blissfully unaware that he was talking to a corpse

I think being anywhere near Diavolo in this state is a fate worst than death

Being around such a dark and negative energy already isn't good for the living, imagine how the dead feels

Plus not to mention the rough period of occasional murder attempts, all in new ways for Diavolo to get you gone for once and for all

[spine-buster]

peaceful easy feeling ft. b.boeser | one

A/N: Here’s the beginning of my new mini-series!  I hope you all enjoy it.  It will definitely be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, so be prepared!  There will be five parts!

SUPPORT MY WRITING HERE: https://ko-fi.com/spine_buster

CONTENT WARNING: parents with disease/sickness (Parkinson’s); swearing; sex; alcohol use; lots of emotions.

                                                                   *     *     *     *     *

Brock Boeser felt like he was at some sort of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, with everybody around the circle introducing themselves and their similar predicaments.  The group was in a big meeting room at the local community centre, and when he walked in, he saw a group of dads playing basketball in the gym.  He sort of wanted to join them instead of being here, in this room, with all these people that he didn’t know talking about what they were going to talk about, but he’d done this back in Minnesota, at his mother’s behest with his siblings, and he was going to do it here, too, in Vancouver, to make her happy and ease her mind and to make sure that he was easing his own mind.  

“Um, hello everyone.  My name is Brock Boeser.  I’m from Minnesota, but I’m living in Vancouver.  And um, I’m here with you all because my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.”

“Hello Brock,” everyone smiled at him, and he smiled and nodded back.

“So it was your dad that was diagnosed,” the leader, a kind, older woman named Esther who had greeted him at the door and stuck with him until everybody sat down, egged on a conversation.  He knew she was doing it because he was new; everybody in this room probably already knew each other.  A part of him actually wondered if anybody knew who he was.  “When?”

“Um, he—he was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2010,” Brock revealed, stuttering it out.  He knew he’d have to be open at these things – open so people could empathize with him, open so he could empathize with others – but it was still tough for him to do so.  “But he—it’s—it’s not just Parkinson’s.  Two years after he was diagnosed, he was in a car accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury.  In 2017, he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He beat it but then in June it returned to his liver and chest.  In July, he had a heart attack and his heart stopped beating for 15 minutes.  I was with him and—I—it’s—it’s a lot, as you can imagine,” he tried not to start crying right then and there.  Imagine that – first meeting with a Parkinson’s Society of BC support group and he’d bawl like a baby.

“Goodness me, Brock,” Esther said.  “He has support at home?”

“Um, well, money isn’t an issue now, but when I was growing up my mom worked three jobs to make sure we were all taken care of,” he revealed.  “I’d pitch in too wherever I could, obviously.”

“But it’s been tough for a number of years.”

Brock paused.  It had been tough for a number of years.  It had been really tough for a number of years.  He nodded his head.  “Yes ma’am.  I try to take it day by day.”

Esther nodded as well.  “I don’t know if you pray, Brock, but I know a couple of members around the circle do, and, well – you’ll be kept in all our prayers.”

Brock saw a few people nod their head.  Another older woman, probably his mom’s age, clutching a rosary; a Sikh man dressed in a casual suit; a younger woman, probably in her thirties, with short blonde hair.  He appreciated the sentiment.  He knew that people took prayer very seriously – that people suffering took prayer very seriously.  It was, realistically, one of the kindest things somebody could ever say to you: “I’m praying for you.”  “Thank you very much,” he said, nodding his head once.

***

There was an arrangement of cookies at the end of the meeting.  Even after the 90 minutes of everybody talking about their experiences and emotions, they apparently liked to stick around afterwards as well just to mingle.  It didn’t all have to be doom and gloom, he thought.  It didn’t all have to be about Parkinson’s or about sick people or losing your loved ones all the time.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about the news.  Maybe some people just wanted to talk about sports.  The weather.  Anything.  Anything to make a connection with someone beyond something so tragic.  

After stuffing an entire Fudge-O cookie into his mouth, he looked up to see a young woman staring at him, holding her trenchcoat in her arms.  She was smiling to let him know she was friendly.  He was embarrassed because he knew she just saw him stuff an entire Fudge-O into his mouth.  “Hi,” he said, his mouth still full of cookie, the sound of his voice reflecting that fact.

“You’re Brock Boeser, right?” she asked sweetly.  “You play for the Vancouver Canucks?”

“Yeah,” Brock couldn’t help but smile.  He swallowed the rest of the cookie even though he didn’t really finish chewing it.  “That’s me.  Are you a fan?”

“My step-brothers are more so than I am,” she said.  “But I’m a fan of the team, yeah.  I’m Grace Gillespie,” she extended her hand to shake his.  “God, they’re not gonna believe me when I say I met you.  They’re gonna freak.”

Brock couldn’t help but chuckle slightly.  “Do you—I mean, do you want a picture?  I don’t mind at all.  I’ll sign an autograph on a napkin if you want me to.”

“Well…it’s a bit awkward to ask you at a Parkinson’s Society of BC meeting, but we could go to the Starbucks down the street and I could buy you a coffee.”

Brock was slightly taken aback at her forwardness.  He shouldn’t have been.  Girls came up to him all the time.  All the time.  And they were most definitely not shy.  But he wasn’t exactly expecting it to happen here, of all places.  A bar, sure.  Out with Petey or any of the other guys, absolutely.  But not here.  “Yeah…yeah sure,” he stuttered out.

“Then we should go,” Grace smiled.  She turned to look behind her.  Brock saw Esther picking up a few Oreos.  “Thank you for leading another great session, Esther,” Grace said.  

“Oh you are most welcome Miss Gillespie.  How is Hamish these days?  You didn’t speak much today.”

“He’s been doing fine lately.  His caregivers have been working around the clock for him.  They just work wonders, don’t they?”

Esther nodded.  “They are angels on Earth.  Anyways – we’ll catch up next week,” she said, leaning slightly on her leg to look beyond Grace and to Brock.  “I hope to see you here again next week, Brock.”

“Thank you, Esther.  See you next week,” he said, realizing he made the commitment before he could even realize what he was saying.

***

“I take that was your first meeting?” Grace asked as she set down the two lattes on the table against the window where Brock was waiting.  

“Was it really obvious?” Brock asked.

Grace shrugged her shoulders.  She didn’t want to make him feel self-conscious.  “It was the stuttering that gave it away, at least to me.  I know I stuttered a lot the first few times I came to these meetings.  I wasn’t the most comfortable talking about my dad’s condition to a room full of virtual strangers.  But within just a few months I realized the people in that room are the kindest, most empathetic, most amazing people that I’ve ever interacted with.  So I became a lot more open.”

Brock was transfixed by every word that Grace was saying.  “So you’ve been coming here a long time,” he said.

Grace nodded.  “My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson’s when I was fourteen.  I didn’t start coming here until I was about eighteen, though.”

Brock knew he shouldn’t ask.  He knew he shouldn’t.  But his brain had ulterior motives, and his mouth – well, his mouth listened to his brain, because it apparently needed to know.  “Is your—is your dad like my dad?” he asked.  “Does he have, like, other problems complicating things?”

Grace shook her head.  “No,” she said softly.  “But the Parkinson’s is enough for him.  I mean he was diagnosed just short of ten years ago and he’s already on puréed foods.  It’s not—I mean, you know as well as I do that it doesn’t regularly develop that fast.  But that’s…I don’t know how you do it.”

Brock didn’t know either.  Some days he didn’t.  “I just take it day by day,” he said simply, just like he said in the meeting.  “If I think about it too much…that’s when it’s bad.”

“I hear ya,” Grace said, taking a sip of her coffee.  “But let’s…not talk about this for too long.  Do you like Vancouver?  Do you find it nice?”

Brock appreciated the change in topic.  “I love it here,” he nodded his head, smiling.  “The city’s great.  The fans are great.  My teammates – I mean they’re amazing.  What do you do?”

“I’m a dance teacher at Goh Ballet – little kids and teens, mostly.”

He wasn’t expecting that.  She was drop dead gorgeous, sure – Brock wasn’t blind – but he wasn’t expecting to hear she was a dancer.  “Do you, like, dance in the real ballet?”

Grace snorted slightly at his phrasing of ‘real ballet’.  “No.  I pursued it only up until a certain point.  I was good, but uh, I stopped when my dad got diagnosed.”

“Why?  Don’t they always tell people like us to have, like, an outlet or whatever?”

“They do.  But I loved my dad more than I loved dance.  And I would have rather spent the time that I was spending on dance with him instead.”

He understood where she was coming from, and he wasn’t there to judge her.  “And your brothers you mentioned, did they help too?”

“Oh no no no.  Sorry – I should have specified.  I’m an only child.  Like, the only child between my parents.  But they divorced when I was six and when my mom re-married I gained two step-brothers, Jasper and Theo.”

“How was the divorce?” Brock found himself asking.

“You ever see footage of a nuclear bomb exploding?” Grace giggled as she asked the question.  It caused Brock to laugh too even though the analogy she was making was dreadful.  “It was awful.  The type of divorce nobody deserves, you know?  I became a pawn, basically, and my parents would only speak to each other through lawyers.  Even stuff concerning me.  It was bad.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“It was.  But it’s the only life I know,” she said.  “He was lucky my mom ended up marrying another rich guy.  I mean, my mom only marries rich men,” she giggled slightly again.  “That’s how Jasper and Theo became my step-brothers.”

“So your family has money?” Brock clarified.  “What’s it from?  Dad a lawyer or something?”

“Not exactly,” Grace said.  “My dad and his brothers own a private equity firm that started like this,” she pinched her fingers together, “and went like…” she continued, spreading her fingers and moving her hands around her like a bomb explosion.  “Gillespie Brothers Investments.  I’m sure as a Vancouver Canuck you’ve heard of them.  I mean they wanted to buy the Canucks before the Aquilinis.”

Brock hadn’t heard of them, but he now knew he’d have to do some snooping when he got home. “I haven’t heard of them.  But I mean – sounds like they were successful.”

“Three billion dollars is pretty successful to me,” Grace quipped.

“B—Billion,” Brock sputtered out.  “With a B.”

“With a B,” Grace nodded.  Brock had no idea he was sitting across from the daughter of a billionaire.  She didn’t act like a billionaire.  Not like Brock knew what billionaires acted like.  He’d never met one before in his life.  Well, besides Francesco.  “But tell me more about what you like about Vancouver.  What about the nature?  I always kind of fine a good long walk along the Seawall or through Stanley Park really clears my mind from all…this.  What about you?”

Brock smiled.  “I find the white noise of downtown clears my mind.”

***

“You want my number,” Grace said as a statement rather than a question as she and Brock exited the Starbucks.  They were kicked out.  They’d been there for so long that they’d been kicked out because they were closing.  Their coffees had gotten cold.  They hadn’t ordered new ones.  And now they found themselves on the deserted sidewalk, jackets put on hastily, and Grace came up with that.

Brock looked down at her.  They’d been able to look into each other’s soul for the past few hours.  “Of course I want your number,” he said.  There was no reason to hide it.  No reason to deny it.  No reason to have to wait until next week to see her again as they sat around in a circle in a community centre talking about their parents.

He took out his phone.  She gave him her number.  He texted his name to hers so she’d have his.  When that dance was done, she looked up at him.  “I’m really glad I met you tonight,” she said, her voice sincere.

Brock nodded.  “I’m glad I met you too.  I—I really enjoyed this.  And I mean—I needed it.”

Grace smiled, nodding her head.  “I needed it too.”

“D’you—” Brock stopped, trying not to get too far ahead of himself.  “D’you need a ride home?”

“Oh no no, my driver is right there,” she motioned her head towards a black Mercedes waiting by the curb.

Brock hadn’t noticed the car until now.  “Chauffeur?”

“Billionaire dad,” she winked.  Brock understood.  She took a few steps back before smiling one more time.  “Call me,” she said, before flipping her hair over her shoulder and walking towards the Mercedes and getting into the backseat.  Brock watched as it drove off, making a right at the end of the street.

He would definitely be calling.

[bigskydreaming]

Making an additional post to respond to @fuyunoakegata’s response to @fiyaerrigan’s post here without derailing or going too far afield from the OP:

I think an additional thing to consider that the other kids had by benefit of Dick being the eldest is......every single one of them to varying degrees had Dick to look to as a precedent for like.....reassuring themselves that their presence in Bruce’s life wasn’t a temporary thing. Dick’s constant or recurring presence was an affirmation of permanence - that no matter how bad things got between Bruce and one of his kids, since things HAD been very dicey between Dick and Bruce for awhile - Dick still was there, at the end of the day.

Now, the obvious sorta exception to this is in Jason’s POV, with it being a sorta exception cuz there’s a couple different ways you can play this. By emphasizing how much Bruce and Dick were on the outs from Jason’s POV while he was living with Bruce, you CAN cast doubt on the idea that Dick was proof things would never get so bad with Bruce that he would just stop being part of their lives. And then this in turn can be used as a sort of explanation for why Jason was so convinced that there was no coming back from a lot of what he’d done by his return to Gotham, even without the events of UTRH....like, you can make the case that this is why Jason escalated things to that extent period. He thought reconciliation was never truly ever an option.

But by the same token, you can also use the fact that Dick IS reconciled with Bruce by the time of UTRH to seed doubts about this in Jason’s head, because he DOES remember just how bad things were between Bruce and Dick when he was younger....and if they could come back from that, maybe it WASN’T just wishful naivete to think that there could be a future for Bruce and Jason’s relationship as well, y’know?

To cycle back to the beginning though....it should be acknowledged imo that Dick never had the benefit of this proof of permanence, this security blanket of knowing that no matter how bad things got with Bruce, there wasn’t truly a point of no return. That WAS in doubt for him a lot of the time. Which gives him all the more motivation to see what we so often see evidence of in the comics - Dick going above and beyond to stress to his siblings that they aren’t temporary in his eyes, and their connection is not just limited to being via Bruce. They’re his siblings with or without Bruce in the picture.

Now to respond more directly to what @fuyunoakegata had to say in that last reblog addition, I think the fact that Dick is so good at translating what Bruce leaves unspoken is actually a key part of the conflict between Dick and Bruce at so many points. Because the thing is....Dick should never have HAD to become that good at it. He became good at it by necessity, because Bruce does leave a lot unspoken and taken for granted, and at a certain point Dick realized he’d just have to fill in the blanks himself.

But given that Dick was the traumatized kid that Bruce chose to take in as an adult - no matter how young of an adult he was - there’s an inherent disservice in not recognizing that it should never have been on that kid to feel HE had to be the one to bridge the communication divide between himself and his guardian when said communication felt lacking. That is the responsibility of the guardian or parent, its literally a key part of the sense of security its their job to offer the traumatized orphan in their care.

That’s not to say, however, that its not realistic for this to happen this way - and for reasons that actually have nothing whatsoever to do with Bruce, and everything to do with Dick. Because it is possible that Bruce just never quite clued into just how much Dick was assuming the burden of translating Bruce’s intentions into actual communication and filling in the gaps where Bruce was leaving stuff unsaid.....because as I’ve said before, for all their similarities and parallel tragedies, a key part of Dick’s tragedy that Bruce simply couldn’t relate to, was the abandonment fear of being sent away for not being good enough or being too much of a burden. Bruce has HUGE abandonment issues due to his own tragic loss of his parents - but his abandonment issues tend to be more geared around losing people to tragedy or death. 

Now from a parental standpoint, he does have fears of driving his kids away by not being good enough for them or by hurting them in various ways, true.....BUT the specific overlap he lacks is that he’s never really identified from the perspective of a child, with that fear of a parent or guardian not wanting to deal with him or be burdened by him anymore. When he was raised by Alfred, he feared losing Alfred in a variety of ways, but not really so much by driving Alfred away or making him sick of him....because there has always been at least an implicit awareness, even while acknowledging that Alfred basically raised him, that Alfred still technically worked for the Wayne family, and Bruce simply wasn’t ever in a position to feel quite as dependent on Alfred and say...his ‘whims’ or whatever, as other children might in regards to their own parents. Alfred’s loyalty is readily apparent and of a more....fundamental sort than most others can claim, y’know?

So I think one of the key divides between Dick and Bruce, a NATURAL area of oversight for Bruce, who tends to take for granted at times how much he and Dick are alike in certain ways.....is that it wouldn’t necessarily ever occur to Bruce just how much Dick feared being a burden who could and might be sent away at any time he became too difficult to be worth putting up with anymore. And by not realizing how big a role this played in Dick’s thoughts as he grew up, its natural that Bruce wouldn’t necessarily notice just how almost....eager Dick was to jump at filling in gaps in communication himself rather than risk having to insist Bruce clarify himself or his intentions in order to be understood instead. Dick didn’t want to give his guardian any reason to send him packing - so he voluntarily took up the role of Bruce-translator early on, before ever even alerting to Bruce that there was anything about his communication tendencies that might be lacking and left Dick occasionally grasping for assumptions to fill in the blanks.

But see, the problem that naturally arises from this sort of inherent miscommunication or oversight, no matter how understandable it is....is that it over time builds in an expectation or even reliance on Dick doing the majority of the work and emotional labor when it comes to understanding each other. And the precise problem this creates lies in when Dick for whatever reason - such as believing Bruce has already as good as cast him aside and no longer wants to be burdened with him - like, if for whatever reason Dick STOPS doing the majority share of their communication, if he no longer sees a reason to translate Bruce’s thoughts into actual words of affirmation and read approval into his actions or assume the best of Bruce’s intentions......if Dick basically just stops TRYING here, because he’s convinced there’s no longer any reason to try and the worst has already happened, the very thing he was going above and beyond in filling in Bruce’s gaps in communicating himself in order to avoid happening in the first place....

Then Bruce is going to flounder, naturally, because all of a sudden its going to seem like nothing he says or does in the ways he’s always been used to communicating himself like, seem to be getting through to Dick or leaving him with the same understanding or awareness of Bruce’s true feelings that he’s grown used to Dick having, based just on whatever Bruce DOES actually do or say.

So from Bruce’s perspective, its going to be like nothing he says seems to make any impact on Dick or convey to him that Bruce does in fact still love him and care....BECAUSE Bruce hasn’t quite realized yet just how much Dick has HAD to fill in those blanks for himself, because Bruce’s actual communicating of them has not actually involved ever FULLY expressing those sentiments.

Hence, their complete communication breakdown after Dick was fired and/or Jason was made Robin and adopted without consulting or even alerting Dick to the fact beforehand, or reassuring him that this didn’t actually say anything about Bruce’s feelings for his eldest. As well as Bruce’s seeming obliviousness as to why.

And another thing I want to add here is that I always tend to push back a lot against people bringing up how young Bruce was when he took Dick in, and how that explains his lapses in parenting....

Because the thing this fails to take into account IMO is that like.....by and large, and with obvious occasional exceptions like Robin: Year One.....its almost unanimously agreed that Bruce was at his BEST as a parent to Dick - whether thinking of himself as his father yet or not - in their early years together. So I don’t see how Bruce’s young age can excuse his later lapses in parenting Dick, when it was at his YOUNGEST, that Bruce was at his BEST in parenting Dick. To me, his age has nothing to do with it. The difference in Bruce’s effectiveness in being a parent to Dick at various stages in my mind lies entirely in the fact that in those early years, Bruce was most consistently putting in his most effort into being there for Dick, being the person Dick needed him to be, etc. 

Basically, those early years were so good between them, compared to other periods, because even with Dick assuming more responsibilities than he ever should have had to - but for completely understandable reasons ie Bruce simply not REALIZING Dick was so desperate to not be a burden he was making sure Bruce never realized there was a problem here at all -  the bottom line was it was in those earliest years that Bruce most consistently TRIED. He put his best foot forward. He did the WORK.

And thus the problem in the later years of Dick’s youth, IMO, had nothing to do with Bruce’s own relative youth - it was that I think Bruce had just gotten comfortable with their dynamic and lost sight of how much of that was due to his own EFFORT. He started to take Dick for granted, and thus defaulted more towards frustration when he didn’t understand why Dick did something or where he was coming from....where previously, he would have been more patient as he applied his intellect towards trying to figure out for himself WHY Dick was acting the way he was or what it might signify.

BUT. The point of all this digression is like.....me working my way around to how there’s not JUST an opportunity for Dick to buttress Bruce’s lapses in parenting for his younger siblings, and for them to benefit from him having gone first.....BUT, if people WANT there to be....there’s also every bit as much to fix or address a lot of the flaws in Bruce and Dick’s relationship via Bruce learning from things with his younger children like....an awareness of WHY he and Dick grew apart and how it can be addressed.

For an example.....with Jason. I’ve commented before on how a lot of authors doing revisitations of Bruce and Jason’s early years together in fic actually do a GREAT job of showcasing how patient Bruce is with him, and understanding of his history and why he behaves in various ways or reacts to things differently than Bruce would or expects.

And a lot of focus is put on how in the comics, when Bruce talks to Dick about why he took Jason in, he describes himself as having seen Jason as being a lot like him, and thus thought he could help him with his anger, etc.

See, I have always, ALWAYS, called bullshit on this point. (And that’s aimed at the comics canon btw, not fic writers).

Because uh, I just don’t see it at all. First off, Jason has always had even less in common with Bruce than Dick did, and second like, the only thing that Bruce has ever pointed to as feeling similar to Jason in....is Jason’s anger.

And like....early Jason, even after the post-Crisis origin retcon, like...wasn’t that angry! His supposed anger issues come from all of like, two different stories and that’s it. And I don’t buy that Jason was the first kid in all the time Bruce had been Batman by that point, that like, Bruce saw as a kindred spirit due to just being ANGRY. Umm, no. Sorry. That doesn’t track for me.

Especially because like....when Bruce first encountered Jason? When he first MADE the decision to take Jason in? First when meeting him stealing his tires, at which point he took him to Ma Gunn, and then after finding out that was a criminal front and deciding to take Jason in himself? Jason was like....literally not even angry in any of those encounters, lol. He just wasn’t.

Jason was scared. He was defiant. He was stubborn. He was proud. He was vulnerable. He was doing his damnedest not to show it. He was a lot of things.

What he wasn’t.....was...angry.

And so I truly don’t believe that Bruce took Jason in for reasons that had anything to do with identifying with him and seeing himself in Jason.

I think Bruce looked at that tiny young vulnerable but proud, spirited and defiant kid before him, utterly unrepentant about stealing Bruce’s tires and then hitting him with a tire iron and then with the Ma Gunn storyline....

And Bruce saw a young Dick Grayson reflected in the boy before him. 

Bruce missed Dick and took Jason in as a kind of do-over, a chance to fix the mistakes he barely understood making with Dick to lose him from his life or drive him away in the first place....and just resolved to do BETTER this time. To not make the same mistakes. To be patient, understanding, to try and get why Jason did and thought the things he did instead of just making his own assumptions.

And the painful irony is that despite Bruce’s best intentions in the comics, history DID repeat himself. He and Jason became estranged, even before Jason’s death - by Bruce projecting himself and his own issues and viewpoints onto Jason rather than see Jason as an entirely different person from him. He grew to take Jason and their dynamic for granted the same way he did with Dick. A significant element of the Garzonas story that never gets talked about is that after they captured Garzonas the second time, after Gloria’s suicide and before taking him into the police where Garzonas ended up just walking again....

Bruce stood back and literally encouraged Jason to take out his anger and frustration on the man. The same way Bruce sometimes did with criminals himself. He literally stood there and watched as Jason vented his anger by beating up Garzonas further.

And THIS is the heart of why Bruce reacted the way he did with Garzonas’ death, I think. Especially when you couple it with how much of Bruce’s reactions in UTRH are based around how HIS entire reason for being unwilling to kill the Joker is because he doesn’t think he could just stop there, couldn’t pull himself back from doing it again. I think Bruce just ASSUMED that Jason had pushed Felipe to his death, because he projected himself into Jason’s shoes, and saw that moment playing out from how he feared HE HIMSELF would have reacted in that moment, if he were say as young as Jason still was at the time, and frustrated by how futile everything felt. He assumed the worst of Jason, because he identified with Jason, and in that moment, was projecting his own worst assumptions of himself in a parallel moment of intense emotional frustration and anger.

Like I said.....he drove Jason away by making the same mistakes he’d made with Dick in essence - he projected too strongly on identifying with them and thus viewing their actions or choices through the lens of how he would behave in similar circumstances and WHY....and he stopped doing the WORK of keeping in mind that they were very different people from him with very different reasons for choosing the things they choose, different histories, different priorities, different contexts.

So the point is like.....instead of letting things play out like that, since fic IS an opportunity to improve upon canon, you can draw upon literally ANY of these ideas, and like.....examine what happens if not only Dick helps his siblings in their relationships with Bruce by drawing from his own experiences with him and the mistakes there.....

But you can also examine what happens if Bruce is helped in his relationship with Dick by drawing from his experiences with his younger children and using those to identify mistakes he made with Dick specifically, and address them even now....instead of just writing off his relationship with Dick as the best it’ll ever be now and damaged beyond further repair and so instead devoting himself to trying to just do better with his younger kids.

Because see what happens then, if you use Bruce’s patience and understanding while raising a young Jason, and awareness of just how different Jason is from him....to glean for HIMSELF, without having to be told by others....an awareness that no, maybe he took in Jason for reasons that had far more to do with regrets having to do with Dick than because of identifying with Jason just himself. And from there.....a simple examination of his relationships with Dick and Jason respectively, like, even just to wonder what’s so different about his differing dynamics with the two and why is so much better now than the other...that’s literally all that’s needed for Bruce to become AWARE of how patient he is with Jason and his seeming idiosyncracies, to acknowledge the work and EFFORT he puts into building and maintaining his relationship with a young Jason....and from there....the realization that....holy shit, he’d taken Dick for granted, and THAT’S why things broke down between them. He’d stopped TRYING to understand Dick the way he was working so hard now to understand Jason, and instead just started getting frustrated with the fact that he so often DIDN’T understand Dick, period.

And once you have Bruce HAVE that epiphany, GAIN that awareness....

Its the easiest thing in the world to just write him GOING to Dick and just like...acknowledging this. Owning his faults. Admitting that he took Dick for granted and put too much reliance on Dick doing most of their communicating, fell back on it being easier that way and stopped placing importance on being the one to take the LEAD in their relationship and addressing its flaws, as the PARENT.

And just saying.....its not too late to fix this. If I can do it with Jason, if I could do it with you in the first place, I can do it again. All I need is for you to give me the opportunity to try to do just that, to do better, and instead of demanding that or expecting it from you or even just hoping for it but never actually voicing it....here is me asking for it, but letting you know I understand if you don’t trust me with that or want to risk yourself like that again.

And whammo zammo, you’ve got yourself a road to a healthier, happier Batfam, and it doesn’t require actually vilifying anyone or expecting anyone but the patriarch of the family to like....take the actual wheel.

[filmnoirsbian]

you have me thinking about sharp objects again i know they can’t have a happy ending but i just want to pretend amma and camille can be sisters happy together forever and the whole murdering people thing is like a little blimp you can fix with therapy or something

I realize I Just Said I didn't feel like writing an essay about fictional characters in a fictional relationship but tbh that's because there are already a lot of fruits on here who have cornered the nbc hannibal essay market so I'm obligated to simply have a good gay time instead. BUT. Sharp Objects. Camille and Amma........that's different. This is gonna be very long and self-serving but I live for myself so here we are 😚

:MORE:

I went into it in the tags of my last sharp objects reblog but it's worth reiterating: when it comes to parental abuse, having a sibling (or siblings) truly can save your life. The abusive parent is less likely to focus all of the mistreatment on just one sibling (although of course that does sometimes happen; experiences of abused kids are by no means a monolith), and you are automatically granted a support system who knows exactly what you're being forced to survive. In my case, my sister is much older than me (similar to Camille and Amma) and was able to shield me from our mom for much of my childhood. There's a good chance that, had I gone through it alone, I wouldn't be here. I certainly wouldn't be as stable as I am, a large part of that being due to the lasting and unwavering support my sister and I have always provided to each other. Support which Camille and Amma both dearly needed and went without, Camille because her support system (Marian) died in childhood and Amma because her support system--or what could have been--(Camille) was a vague and distant thought for most of her life.

I actually think the show did a better job of portraying how siblings in an abusive home will learn very quickly to depend on each other, because the story lends itself to a visual and non-vocalized portrayal. The characters throughout the series say very little, and what they do say can almost never be taken at face value. Instead, we know who they are and what they mean because they show us. Intentionally or not, this is a perfect reflection of the roles abusers hold in society; Adora, like many abusers, is in good standing with her community. People like her. People believe her, because she is very good at manipulating her environment. Almost everything Adora says is a lie, but she's held as the pinnacle of womanhood in Wind Gap (and the Middle America that Wind Gap stands for). She's rich, well-mannered, and white. She's the marytred mother, having given up her life to raise her daughters, one of whom died at a tragically young age. Another ran off and deserted her, after embarrassing her at every turn. It's worth wondering if Adora would have gotten away with what she did if she wasn't white and affluent. Abuse can happen anywhere, across all societal divides, but people like Adora (and Alan, her accomplice even if only through inaction) certainly are given many allowances that people who aren't white and affluent would never see.

Camille is also dishonest, which she learned from Adora, but because the show relies on showing us Camille's world rather than having her tell the story, we can trust what she sees and experiences as real--or as real as we can get in Wind Gap. The entire town is a wound in stasis, never allowed to heal. It's a trauma memory. The most traumatic moment of Camille's life was Marian's death, and Marian is everywhere in Wind Gap. And so is Camille's younger self, haunting her present self just as much as her dead sister. It is the child in her that died around the same time, that was never allowed to grow and heal and flourish. When you grow up in an abusive home, you grow like weeds shooting up through the asphalt, every moment a trial in survival. Yes, we are strong enough to push through the cracks, but without the support and nurturing and care that is necessary for living things to thrive, we get stuck. Carving out a lonely existence for ourselves in the potholes, wishing for a garden.

This is how Camille has lived since Marian's death. Haunting and haunted by what was done to her, internalizing that violence and turning it inward. Adora planted the seed of generational pain which she received from her own abusive mother, and for Camille it bloomed under her skin. Gillian Flynn said "Camille is an inherently lonely person," and it's because she is the only one who will ever know what she endured in Adora's house, since Marian never escaped it. Camille is the only one of her kind--until Amma.

Camille and Amma are strangers to each other at first, knowing of one another only in a peripheral way. For Camille, Amma is only another hurt; every moment with her is outlined by the absense of Marian. Amma, who never knew Marian and barely knows Camille, feels only the sudden euphoria of no longer being alone. She lashes out at Camille, like any teenager unused to sharing the attention and wholly opposed to it, but only until she realizes the truth; Camille as her sister could never be a stranger. They've both been weaned on the same poison--to different effects, yes, but still the same. If anyone could know Amma, as she wants to be known, on her terms and without expectation of performance, it's Camille. Amma truly loves Camille, as much as she is able, and she is softer with Camille than with anything else she appears to love. After all, she learned from Adora; loving means hurting. Camille learned that lesson too, and turned all of the hurt towards herself. She may have stopped cutting, but she commits a dozen little acts of self harm everyday, from drinking and driving to putting herself into hands she knows will not be kind. Amma lashes out. She screamed "I love violence!" And she does. Violence is the only love she's ever known. Adora's acts of care can only accompany violence. She can only treat her daughters gently when they're at her mercy. When Amma expresses care for Camille, a small act of rebellion in itself, Adora responds by tearing the roof from her doll house, the thing Amma cherishes above all others. Having grown up in a venomous house, an only child in all senses, Amma imprinted on inanimate objects in place of real people. As a child with a mother that controls everything about her--from her clothes to her health--Amma reached for something she could control, in her dolls. Later this transferred to her relationships with other people, all of which exist only for her to manipulate others into getting what she wants. That Amma obsesses over a dollhouse well past an age where that seems normal also makes sense when you realize she is rewriting her childhood in the only way she knows how. Camille was forced to grow up young because she was trying to protect Marian, who was much younger than her. Amma, in contrast, only has herself to protect, which she does by babying herself and availing herself to Adora, who prefers Amma meek and mild, unwilling to see her grow up, as she watched Camille. But on the other side of town, Amma dresses down and sexualizes herself towards the whims of older boys, to better manipulate them. She lives this dual life daily, rolling through the streets of Wind Gap and committing the usual crimes of teenagerdom, but once she returns home, she becomes infantile, just as Camille feels like a helpless, traumatized girl when she returns. Amma has recreated her own house down to the most minor detail, and then signed her name to it in the shape of the teeth from her victims, forming Adora's marble floor. In this way, Amma's dollhouse is the most honest thing about her. She has taken the house that everyone in Wind Gap sees as a representation of success and good breeding, and shown it for the twisted thing it is: a place where bad things happen to little girls.

So, we have Amma, also a bad thing that happens to little girls, and still close to a little girl herself, attaching to Camille like a ship towards a lighthouse. She has never had a sister before, and she finds herself needy for the connection of it. They have this intrinsic thing in common that no one else ever will, and more than that, they're actually very similar. In the book, nearly every time Camille sees Amma acting like a teenager, she mentions seeing a lot of herself in her sister. Amma desperately wants to impress Camille and wants her to think she's cool, and Camille does. She surprises herself by wanting to reach out to Amma and provide comfort, something she has not been good at for a very long time, but it didn't surprise me at all. Camille is inherently lonely and self isolated, but she is always always always craving connection, while hiding herself away from it at every opportunity. She dresses head to toe in thick cloth so no one could glimpse or touch her scars. She does this out of shame, yes, but also fear. She doesn't want anyone to read her. In the dressing room scene, more than anything else, Camille is worried about Amma seeing her scars. But it's worth noting that, rather than disgusted, Amma is warm with Camille afterwards. Of course she understands what the scars really are; a reaction to what has been done to them. Amma makes scars too, hers are just on other people. Later, Amma is one of the only people Camille allows to touch her without flinching away, allows to run her hands over and read the scars on Camille's body. It's different from her experience with John, obviously, but she seems at peace with Amma just the same. Amma says "It's like you're my soul mate," and Camille says "It's like you're my sister." One and the same.

It surprises Camille, how easily she slots back into the role of big sister, trying to shield Amma even though Camille can barely protect herself, but it didn't shock me. Sisterhood, in my experience, is just not something you outgrow. Camille is still wounded by her failure to save Marian, and later Alice, which is another major change in the show that I think the story is better for. In the book, Camille barely has a relationship with her roommate, and certainly never bonds with her over music. In the show, Alice becomes the closest thing to a younger sister that Camille has experienced since Marian. And then she loses her too. So now, with Amma, Camille does her best to be reserved. She doesn't have the best track record with little sisters. But in the end, her reservations don't matter. She loves Amma in spite of their mother, and in spite of herself.

Sharp Objects did such a wonderful job crafting a story about three generations of inherited pain, passed from mother to daughter, the pain taking a different shape in each woman. What Adora does, despite what was done to her, is unforgivable. It is only fair that the same judgment applies to Amma, who robbed three other girls of life. Camille might one day manage to have an honest and open relationship with Amma, after Amma faces consequences for her crimes. Amma might one day be able to love without violence. The real tragedy is the future they might have had, if they had come together before the murders happened.

[beansbeware]

Beans’ Bagginshield Recs

Here it is! My first rec list eight years since I first started shipping Bagginshield. When this lockdown started (and ended and started again) I found myself re-reading OG/classics and discovering new ones. Sifting through my AO3 history I realized I have read and already forgotten so much fic over the years. For a while, I though the ship had run its course but as we can see now, Bagginshield lives! Check back for updates as I discover (and remember) more fics. Pay attention to the tags and trigger warnings! 

AU

I Sang In My Chains Like The Sea by orphan_account for lincesque, IronPanda

In which Bilbo is a Jaeger pilot candidate, and Middle Earth stands on the brink of destruction. (Pacific Rim AU) [Wasn’t sure how this one worked but man it did]

At the Turn of the Year by northerntrash

They say that strange things live in the woods, fair folk and things more spirit than man; don't step between the old oaks, parents mutter to their children, or they might find you, and eat you. Thorin never believed that, but now winter is settling into his bones, the shadows are growing longer through the hoar frost, and he is lost among the trees.

And it was there that Thorin met him, that strange, laughing creature, walking barefoot through the bracken.

Canon-ish

Homeward Bound by perkynurples for 61Below

His life slips away from him on an elven boat carrying him overseas, and there is one last journey Bilbo Baggins must take if he truly means to arrive home.

Sansûkh by determamfidd

The battle was over, and Thorin Oakenshield awoke, naked and shivering, in the Halls of his Ancestors.

The novelty of being dead fades quickly, and watching over his companions soon fills him with grief and guilt. Oddly, a faint flicker of hope arises in the form of his youngest kinsman, a Dwarf of Durin's line with bright red hair.

(Follows the story of the War of the Ring).

The Great Shire Conspiracy by Avelera for Emsiecat

Ten years later, Bilbo can't even go to the Green Dragon without a dwarven tourist buying him a beer and sobbing over Bilbo's great tragic love affair with Thorin Oakenshield. Which would all be quite touching and heartbreaking, if not for one little thing...

Dark (generally not a fan but this one made the cut)

Pain-Bearer by lilithiumwords (unfinished)

In an alternate reality, Erebor was never taken by Smaug, and the War of Dwarves and Orcs never happened. The Orcs invaded the Shire, slaughtering hundreds and taking countless more as slaves. Bilbo is slave to Azog, the Dwarf King's mortal enemy... until the Dwarf King rescues him.

Dwarves! in the Shire

Selling to Hobbits by HildyJ 

Exiled from his kingdom and living on the mercy of others, Thorin is determined to make his own way in the world for him and his family. And the annual Summer Fair in Hobbiton sounds like the best place to sell enough of his crafted goods to do just that.

Oak and Mistletoe by HildyJ (series)

After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.

Erebor - Nope, Never Fell 

A Most Sensible Idea by HildyJ

Bilbo Baggins isn't sure about this. Not one bit.

Frodo is definitely too young to enter into an arranged marriage with a dwarven king called Thorin Oakenshield. It's a good thing that Bilbo is there to chaperone him through their courtship.

After all, there's no chance that a fussy hobbit bachelor would ever catch the eye of a king.

Signs and Meanings by HildyJ

It shouldn't matter to Thorin that the visiting hobbit cook doesn't speak his language. But it does.

Per Aspera by northerntrash

Deep in the dungeons of the Kingdom of Erebor, in an old, unused storeroom, lived a Hobbit.

In which Bilbo Baggins, a strangely successful thief, makes a mistake, and meets a Prince.

Erebor - Rebuilding

Mother-Tongue by northerntrash for HildyJ

Forget-me-not: a small flower, with four petals, which are normally found in shades of blue with a pink or white centre. These are traditional flowers of intent in the Shire, used to express true love, and remembrance.

In which Bilbo plans to leave Erebor, and Thorin tries to understand why.

Previous Engagements by Lunarflare14

After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

That would be tragic.

And I'm Your Lionheart by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo lingers in Erebor while Thorin recovers from his wounds, and soon finds himself caught up in politics, romance, and the occasional kidnapping. Ensemble cast. AU. Eventually Thorin/Bilbo.

Fix-Its (Gawd we need them)

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

though the stars walk backward by baggvinshield, killaidanturner

Bilbo wakes, always in Erebor, with dark shadows to one side and the first light of a terrible dawn to the other.

An Expected Journey by MarieJacquelyn

For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right?

Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.

Over Your Shoulder by northerntrash

The battle is over, and the lost have been counted. There is too much death, too much blood, and in the middle of it sits one small Hobbit, left quite alone but for a body on the ground and the memory of what might have been. But he is a tenacious creature, and if there is one thing that he has learnt, it is not to give up hope.

In which Bilbo Baggins goes on one last journey, and doesn't come back alone.

Historical Setting

The Ghost And Mr Baggins by perkynurples

They say that everything can be cured by saltwater - sweat, tears or the sea. Bilbo Baggins chooses the last option, taking his recently orphaned nephew and moving to the charming Oak Cottage, overlooking England’s grislier shores. The house charms him instantly, and though he knows nothing at all about the sea, or about making ends meet on his own so far from everything he’s known his whole life for that matter, he’s quite determined to stay, and see his nephew get better, odd sounds in the night be damned. He’s living in a modern world, after all, and the nonsense he’s been hearing about the house being haunted by its former owner, the mysterious Captain Durin, is just silly superstition… isn’t it?

Hobbit! Thorin

I've Grown a Hedge Around My Heart by pibroch (littleblackdog)

Thorin Brandybuck, just recently come of age, still lives in his family’s smial in Buckland, with his parents and two younger siblings. Thorin is an odd duck amongst his relations and neighbours-- unsociable, grumpy, shy, and awkward. And beyond that, he looks rather strange even for a Bucklander, strongly favouring the thick, dark haired build of his Stoorish blood.

It defies all sense and reason why Bilbo Baggins, an exemplar of all the respectable traits Thorin lacked, would ever desire a friendship with him.

Bilbo, as Thorin discovers, is not always as sensible as he appears.

Marriage (or something like it)

An Unexpected Proposal by Eareniel

As Bilbo sat smoking in his empty hobbit hole, he couldn’t help but wonder – when did his life become so boring? Or better yet – when did his old life stop being enough?

He suspected the answer to that question lay somewhere around the time when he had refused Thorin Oakenshield’s offer of marriage.

Something Blue by Lapin

Thorin marries Bilbo after the Battle of Five Armies, a marriage of convenience, not love. Slowly, they must come to make the best of it, Bilbo resolves. After all, he's a Hobbit. They make the best of things.

Magical/Super Powers

On Adventures and Other Forms of Conduct Unbecoming of a Wizard by manic_intent for beingevil

For as long as even the old Gaffer could remember there had been a wizard living in the hill at Bag End, overlooking the Shire. As wizards went, this one wasn't the wandering sort, always out to lure gentle folk out onto nasty adventures, or even the powerful kind, the sort that lived in high towers, reaching out into the ways of the world.

Modern Setting

Old Stone, New Fires by northerntrash

Bilbo was not sure what he had expected when he had agreed to supervise the restoration of Erebor House, on the lonely tidal island in the North sea, but it was not this. The winters up here are cold and harsh, and there is a strange feeling on the air, thick with the brine of the sea and secrets to which he is not privy; there is some part of the long and troubled history of the place that has not been spoken of, a shadow between the broken family gravestones and the caves beneath the cliffs, dark and dangerous.

Perhaps it is all in Bilbo’s mind, but as the nights grow longer, he starts to doubt it, and as Thorin sinks ever deeper into black and incalculable moods, he will have to find what has been lost, before it takes them all.

For This by northerntrash

Thorin Durin had lived in his new flat for approximately eighty four minutes when things started to go terribly, terribly wrong. The wrongness came in the form of a package, delivered to his door, wrapped in brown paper and string, with a small tag wishing him a very sincere welcome to the building.

Nothing Gold Can Stay by perkynurples

Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?

Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples

Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…

If There Were Water by stickman

Bilbo Baggins might be in over his head. He’s purchased an old stone house atop a hill overlooking a city he doesn’t know, and plans to live quietly, largely ignoring the rest of the world. But it’s early April, the rainy season, and the roof leaks, and there's something strange about Bywater House that he can't quite figure out.

Thorin Oakenshield is in his fourth month of trying to reconcile his own grief with his failures at anything remotely resembling a competent single parent, living out of a shoebox flat with Fíli (seven, sullen, and stubborn as hell) and Kíli (five, resilient but cracking), working crap jobs and hating everything including himself.

Under the cover of rainy afternoons and sleepless nights, roof repairs and building restoration, Bilbo and Thorin try to figure out how one navigates isolation, and how one breaks out of it. Every step they manage to take forward finds them dragged back again; every question asked has too many answers, or too few. This is a story about living in a world where everyone is on their own, always, and how things go on.

How the West Was Won and Where It Got Us by stickman

Bilbo is a harried 1st year British literature Ph.D. (early 20th century fiction) who happens to have an interest in spatial narrative structures, a lack of time-management skills, and a tiny apartment with a lot of books and very little furniture. He’s stressed, always, and doesn't quite know where he belongs. He tells himself that really, this is, in fact, what he wants to be doing. But sometimes, as much as he loves books, he gets an urge to do something with his hands.

Thorin is a disgruntled M.Arch. 1 in his last year who can’t be arsed to shave and frightens his students, and, frankly, his profs, but his work is top-notch so no one can really say much. They can, however, bully him into running a hands-on design workshop on Saturday mornings, which is complete crap, because he’s used to drinking his Friday nights into oblivion so showing up at Milstein at 7:45 the next morning and trying to teach in a room of wall-to-wall windows as the sun rises is not at the top of his list. Besides, no one ever shows up.

Except one morning, someone does.

The Boy You Met (At The Coin Laundry) by Lee_Whimsy

Bilbo accidentally spends a summer in Ireland. One rainy day, Thorin appears in the hotel laundry room, naked and dripping wet and about to propose. (But not, unfortunately, to Bilbo.)

Gandalf, Thranduil, and a handful of Spanish footballers all guest-star.

Hooked On You by Chamelaucium

Thorin should have learnt not to trust his brother and sister by now.

Come with us on holiday, they’d said. It’ll be fun, they’d said. A nice break from work.

Yeah right. All this holiday had brought him was being knocked around the head, acute hay-fever, and the biggest, most ridiculous crush ever on the cute, golden-haired fishing instructor.

One-Sided Conversations by northerntrash

"Thank you for listening," Thorin said, getting to his feet. "I hope to be able to return the favour, one day."

The man on the bed didn't respond, but since he'd been in a coma for longer than Thorin had known him, that wasn't entirely surprising.

“One”/Soulmates

you lick your lips (you taste like years of being alone) by perkynurples for stopchasingflowers

Thorin Oakenshield was born without the longing, and has spent his whole life merely observing others as they pursued a feeling unknown to him until they finally found their One. He has made his peace with the prospect of being alone, and has been faring well enough, but little does he know the fates have a different story in store for him.

Things We Grow Together by serenbach

Dwarves are born with a bone-deep knowledge of their One, but Thorin stops feeling the pull of his after the dragon attacks Erebor. Needless to say, he is surprised, and not initially pleased, to find his One living behind a round green door decades later.

Hobbits find a seed that represents their innermost self and can offer it to someone else to plant. This creates a bond as strong as deep roots in the earth between them. It is just like Bilbo, after years of thinking that no one would want his, to offer his soul-seed to a dwarf that does not understand gardening metaphors.

But just because they have found each other does not make the quest to reclaim Erebor any easier, and in the end a sacrifice is still made.

Thorin has to trust in the strength of the bond between himself and his One, because otherwise he will never believe that the sacrifice was worth it.

Colour-struck by northerntrash

Soul mates are like adventures, Bilbo had often consoled himself. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things that made you late for dinner. It was no great hardship that he had never met his, even if he couldn't tell which of his petunias were blue and which were purple.

Quest-ions

Discovering Mr Baggins by Eareniel

The story of a Hobbit, told through the eyes of the dwarves.

Thorin Oakenshield's Majestic Diary by Fruitsie

Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain and Totally Majestic Badass of Middle Earth, does not have a raging hard-on for Bilbo Baggins.

No, seriously.

Just read his diary.

Call You Home by northerntrash

In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.

Time Travel (because walking Middle Earth is not enough)

Of an Arcane Binding by Salvia_G

An inexplicable magic ties Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, to Thorin, dwarven prince of Erebor