#but just the fact that i got the urge to-

[kkayyerr]

Not me checking everyday to see if you posted, im obsessed with your stories!

can i request Reader throwing a tantrum, and lke, i think in the regular being Rafe's girl it's a pretty toxic dynamic, and he is often rough with her, yanks her and stuff, just being not too soft and gentle with his touches when he's in a bad mood, a slight bad mood even.

And you know, childs usually pick up habits from adults, so when she regresses and she throws the tantrum she is like agressive with rafe like trying to push him or hit him and let's say its the first and only time that happens!:3 thats my scenario you can mold it however you want

Tough Love.

Summary: Rafe had always been tough with little!reader, but he got very surprised when he found out that his little girl is just as feisty as he is.

Warnings: Age regression, Dark!Rafe, non-sexual spanking, slight angst, unhealthy relationship. All SFW!!!

Author’s note: Thank you so much for your sweet words, I hope you’ll like this one!🫶🏻🥹

Rafe was very unpredictable the last couple of weeks. One day he could’ve spoil you, and the next day the only emotion that he would show towards you was anger. His touches became rough, somehow violent, even though he didn’t actually hit you or abuse you in any way. It was just who he was. He had never been very gentle. You knew him for a long time now, and you knew what you were getting yourself into by starting the relationship with him. What you didn’t know is that you would feel so small and overpowered by him all the time. Most of the time you felt weak. You knew that being with him was stressful for you because of his establishment. Rafe also seemed very tensed and anxious almost every day.

You started regressing more often, trying to hide from those thoughts and feelings, but they had only grown bigger. 

It was a peaceful evening for you and Rafe, until you felt the urge to throw a tantrum out of nowhere. Of course it wasn’t out of nowhere; you were just tired of everything and severely overwhelmed. You needed to let those feelings out by crying and screaming, but Rafe didn’t know that. Your tantrum was just another irritating thing for him that he needed to stop before it would make him freak out. 

 

„Baby, calm down.”

 

He said, approaching you, when you suddenly did what he wasn’t expecting you to do. 

You hit him. 

You slapped his face with the full force. 

He just wanted to lean closer to you, so you would feel more grounded and comfortable, but you might’ve feel comfortable enough if you decided that you had a right to lay your little hand on him. He was surprised by your audacity. After everything he had put up with, he got a fucking handprint on his face?

Rafe’s eyes immediately darkened, and the loving look disappeared completely. He was pissed. However, he didn’t hit you back. He didn’t shove or push you. He just went straight to the couch and set down, patting his lap and looking at you. 

 

„Over my knee.”

 

Your skin immediately covered in shivers. He had never used psychical punishments before, especially not spanking. The room was silent; you could only hear how fast your own heart beats. You were terrified of Rafe right now. Somehow that empty look on his face was much scarier than the anger that you got used to. You didn’t want him to hurt you, but he would either way, so you just made your way to the couch, carefully laying down on his lap.

You were scared, and the fact that you were regressed right now was only making the whole situation worse. Much worse.

Rafe’s hands landed on your back, and he caressed you a little bit in the soothing manner before giving you the first slap with his other hand.

 

„I hope you understand that Daddy don’t like punishing you, little one.”

 

The second slap was louder than the first one and felt just as painful. But this time pain mixed with the feeling of guilt. It was your fault; you shouldn’t have slapped him and shouldn’t have given him a reason to punish you. You wanted to be his good little girl after all. 

 

„Why did you hit Daddy, hm?”

 

You felt tears falling from your eyes when he hit you once again. You covered your mouth with your little hand to muffle sniffling and crying sounds. Rafe had hold his laughter back, so he won’t be called a „meanie” later. It was cute how hard you were trying to keep on the strong girl act, even though he knew that it was all just a facade. You were way too vulnerable to be called strong. 

 

„C’mon, answer me.”

 

Rafe said, giving you a last slap. He then immediately helped you sit, pulling you closer while you were on his lap, even though he knew that sitting might’ve been a little difficult for you right now. He gently took your hand away from your mouth, and you let out a couple of loud sobs, before finally answering.

 

„Wanted to feel stwong and big like you!”

 

Those words sounded funny because of your high-pitched childish voice, that was also still trembling from the crying. You didn’t sound like someone who is strong and big, especially not after you just got spanked. Rafe smiled softly; he almost felt sorry for you. How could someone be so stupid and so cute at the same time? 

 

„But strong girls don’t need daddies. Do you want me to leave?”

 

Of course you didn’t want him too. You knew that you simply wouldn’t survive without him. You needed your Daddy, no matter how difficult it was to stick around him lately. You remember him also being there when it was hard to stick around you. 

You shook your head, quickly hugging his neck, so that way he wouldn’t leave you or disappear. His calm breathing relaxed you. He was there, close to you, and he wasn’t mad. 

It was strange to admit, but it was the first time in the last couple of weeks when both of you were calm and happy.

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @rafecameronsloverrrrr @aew-regression-cove

[nobodyknowsimalesbian777]

Caught - Abby (Tlou 2)

NSFW tags - sub!abby, tying up (a!receiving), masturbating (a!), dildo-riding (a!receiving), biting (a!receiving), lowkey humiliation/exhibitionism (a!receiving) 18+

authors note : guys this was supposed to come out tonight but i got excited, ovulation brings out the freak in me 😞 this was so fun though, i lovelovelove knowing you guys enjoy my fics enough to ask me to write more!! also idk if i explained it very well, but in my mind this is in like abbys wlf stadium apartment, after she kicked manny out so you could move in #huzzbeforebruzz

----------------------------------------------------------

you had been tossing and turning all night, chasing sleep that never seemed to come

abby had started a pointless argument that ended with her sleeping on the couch,

so now you were here, in bed, alone.

it didn't take long for you to realize you wouldn't be getting much sleep without abby next to you,

so you begrudgingly stood up and marched out to the living room area of your apartment

the stadium lights glistened through the glass, illuminating workers and patrol outside who never seemed to sleep

you were soft-stepping down the stairs when you heard abbys soft moans, she was trying to muffle them with her hand, to no avail

you watched through the dim light as your girlfriend fucked herself with her favorite dildo,

seven inches of hot pink plastic disappearing into her sopping cunt like it was nothing

you were honestly shocked, you didn't expect her to handle your argument like this

the stadium lights were just bright enough for you to get a good view of her, and it seemed like she had not yet seen you

you watched intently as abbys skilled hands worked herself until she was just about to cum, where she would pull away and regain her breath

you knew abby liked when you made her wait to come, but you had no idea she liked it enough to do it to herself

the sight of her, along with the fact that she had no idea you were watching, excited something in you

you found yourself pressing your legs together, trying to dull the desperate and ever growing ache between your thighs

she bit down on the plump under her thumb, working the toy in particularly fast

her bush glistened from the slick she had produced, and you wanted nothing more then to dive into her pussy and lap it all up

when soft whines of your name started spilling out, you decided you had to intervene

"abby." you said sternly, causing her to jump at the sound of your voice, her face glowing pink

she was still upset, that much was apparent. but her need for you to make her cum overrode that feeling

abby sat up silently as you walked over, taking the dildo from her hands

you held it up to the faint light, examining the slick product of her earlier session

abby looked away, her eyes looking anywhere but you as embarrassment washed over her

you grabbed the wooden chair that sat next to your dining table, abbys eyes now trailed you as you pulled it over to the window

your finger traced circles around the suction cup end of the dildo, before you stuck it on to the chair

abbys eyes grew wide as she realized what you wanted her to do,

you motioned for her to come sit, pulling a bandana off the table next to you

the burly woman was too smart to say no to you, so she made her way over to the window, watching as you peeled the only clothing left on her body off

you nodded down to the toy, urging her to sit

abby huffed, slowly lowering herself onto the pink dildo

the stretch from this angle was almost too much, knowing you were watching her in such a compromising position made it that much worse

she actually whimpered as you pulled her hands behind her, tying them to the backpost of the chair

you stayed behind the blonde, gently pushing her blonde hair out of the way as you kissed her neck,

the sweetness of your ministrations encouraging her to lift her hips as much as she was able, before slowly grinding them back down

her soft moans were music to your ears, and you knew if it was up to her, she would continue these sweet little motions until she came,

luckily, it wasn't up to her. that became apparent when you gripped her braid, pulling it back and sinking your teeth into her neck

a lewd yelp left her mouth, your roughness making her stuffed pussy ache

abby was already a mess, grinding down on the dildo like it was her job

your hands trailed down her body, tweaking her nipples and eventually landing on her swollen clit

the feeling of your fingers on her clit was so much for the poor girl, she couldn't even see you as she rode herself closer to release

"that's it baby, show everyone how much of a slut you are f'me" you nipped at her ear as you spoke, watching her biceps flex as her wrist strained against your make-shift restriction

abby was already so close, her head falling back as she worked herself into her orgasm

she cried out as she came, coating the toy and your fingers in her slick

her body slumped down as she rode out her orgasm, her breath finally able to catch up with her

you circled around the chair, throwing your leg over her so you were straddling her tied-up form

abbys lips met yours in a fury, her hands aching to touch you as she whined into the kiss

you pulled back, admiring abbys fucked out eyes and swollen lips

"gonna untie me yet baby?" abby questioned, her words slightly slurring

"don't think so" you said matter of factly "gonna make you watch me cum first" abbys brows furrowed as she realized she was in for a very long night

gang this one is insanely freaky. lowkey my fav so far though

[tommykinard217]

(a thanksgiving ficlet that got away from me lol. Happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate, I love you all! )

Holidays were never really all that special to Tommy. When he was a kid, holidays were tense affairs. Thanksgiving dinners made by his mom that his dad would nitpick at. The man didn't even sit at the table with him and his ma, his face turned towards the football game as he shouted that the turkey was too dry, the mashed potatoes too lumpy, the gravy too watery.

Tommy had never really thought there was anything wrong with the food, but his dad was never really happy about anything to begin with.

Tommy never really existed during the holidays. It was like he was a ghost. At first, when he was younger, he tried to decorate and cheer his parents up and help around the house. Anything to make them smile. But it didn't work. So eventually, when he was a teenager, he just stopped trying.

He either stayed in his room or he got out of the house, taking his bike to the river and just sitting on the river bank, looking across the water. By the time he got home, the food would be packed away as leftovers. There wasn't a plate set aside for him.

Then his ma passed and there was no one to make thanksgiving dinner.

Once again, the river was his friend. He contemplated getting a fishing license, so that he could actually do something other than stare at the current of the river as it crashed against the rocks and mini island formations.

By the time he got home, the house was dark, his dad passed out on the couch surrounded by empty beer cans. Tommy had felt the urge to clean up, maybe mitigate whatever possible anger his dad would build up in the morning. But he didn't really care. His dad would be angry regardless, and he'd still feel as alone as ever even with his dad screaming in his face and threatening him with punishments he was too old for at this point.

Eventually he enlisted. Anything to get away from his dad and the metaphorical ghost of his ma haunting the kitchen.

In the army, there was no river to bike alongside. No riverbank where he could sit down, and stare across the water. Just dirt and noise and shitty MRE's. Somehow it didn't feel all that different from the thanksgivings of his childhood.

Then, he was out of the army. He had a choice. Go back to his shitty town on a shitty river, haunted by his dad and his ma. Or go somewhere else. Somewhere different.

Different won out, for once. So he packed up what little shit he had and made his way to LA of all places. Signed up to a firefighting academy. He needed the structure the army gave him, and he'd actually get to help people this time.

Once he was out, he got assigned a firehouse. The 118. Gerrard was just like his father, minus the alcohol. Cruel, exacting, looking for a flaw in everything you did. Tommy knew how to handle Gerrard, and that was to just ride him out. Let him yell, let him get angry and threaten you. Don't react, don't talk back. Just let it happen until he tires himself out.

Thanksgiving with the 118 once again was the same as any other year. Shitty takeout instead of MRE's or leftovers, but other than that, it was all the same. Thankfully the job kept him busy.

Too many people thought they were immune to flame and oil and their own general stupidity, and the amount of turkey induced fires they had to put out was steadily climbing. Each year they seemed to break a new record.

Every year was the same. Tommy was alone or lonely or both, he scarfed down shitty food, and it was just another day to him.

And then Evan came around. Evan with his bright smile and warm demeanor. Evan with his endless facts and his strong hugs. Just...Evan.

And Tommy had been certain that maybe this thanksgiving was going to be different.

And maybe that was his mistake.

He was a coward, after all. All his life he had just run away. To the river, as a kid. The army, as an adult. The West Coast, after he was discharged. All he ever did was run.

And so, here he was. His first thanksgiving off, staring at the takeout he bought, trying to remind himself that this was normal. For him, at least. He was used to this.

Granted, the guilt was eating him up. He'd stared at his phone for what felt like hours, trying to figure out what to say. I'm sorry? I miss you? Take me back, I'm miserable without you? None of those were acceptable. He broke things off. He ran away. Ev-Buck deserved better.

But right as he was about to sit down, maybe watch a movie or two, his doorbell rang.

As he walked to the door, he wondered on who it could be. A neighbor? Someone asking for charity donations? A Mormon?

But it wasn't any of those.

It was Evan.

Hands shoved in his pocket, looking nervous but determined.

"Come on, you're missing out on dinner." Evan pointed to his jeep, waiting for them.

Tommy was, understandably, fucking baffled. "Wait, what?"

Evan sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'm mad at you." Fair. "But I also miss you and I don't want you to be alone on Thanksgiving. So you're coming with me, you're eating Bobby's turkey, and the five different pies I've baked." Evan baked? Since when did Evan bake? Five pies? Tommy was so confused.

Tommy was honestly speechless. Because, what? "I miss you too." Was the only thing he could really get himself to say. And it was true, at least. Tommy had felt Evan's absence like an actual hole in his heart. Heart pumping over time to accommodate the wound and failing.

"Good. Because I'm not letting you go. And I'm not letting you let me go. We're going to actually talk after this, got it?" Evan had grabbed onto Tommy's hand, pulling him towards the jeep as he spoke.

"Got it." Tommy wished he could say more than two syllables at a time, but how could he? What could he even say? I love you? I'm sorry please let me spend the rest of our lives groveling? Nothing would be adequate.

But as they got into the jeep, Tommy blinked and reality settled in. Evan was here. Evan was bringing him to Thanksgiving dinner. Evan. Evan. Evan.

"I'm sorry. For being a coward." He finally let out. "You didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't. But I get it. I came on too strong, I went a little insane and overcorrected. You also went insane, and we both should have talked. But we'll do that later. After we have a perfectly normal Thanksgiving together. Howie is probably gonna punch you a little for not texting him back, by the way."

Yeah, that was all pretty fair, honestly. "I didn't think Howie really wanted to talk to me, after everything."

Evan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you tend to make decisions for othe people without actually considering what they want. We'll work on that though."

We. Evan kept saying we. And it felt good. It felt so good to be a we again.

"You're right. I've been an ass. And, I'm going to work on it. For you. Me. Us. Our friends. I mean it, Evan."

A warm, gentle smile. "Good. Now come on. Everyone's waiting for us."

Everyone meaning. Everyone. Bobby and Athena. Maddie and Howie and Jee. Karen and Hen and Denny and Mara. Everyone.

No one was angry, there were no tense silences. Just joy and forgiveness and thankfulness.

And as Evan held Tommy's hand as he lead them through Maddie and Howie's place, Tommy was starting to see how special the holidays really could be.

It wasn't perfect, and like Evan said, they had a lot to talk about afterwards. But as Bobby carved the turkey and placed some on his plate, as Howie grabbed the mashed potatoes and passed it his way with a joke and smile. As Maddie punched his shoulder (fairly hard, he had to give her that) but then hugged him the next second. As Hen gave him a searching look, like she was waiting to see if he was gonna make a run for it again, but then a satisfied nod when she saw the resolution on his face. Tommy realized this was what he had been missing out on, all those years ago.

And he wasn't going to let it slip past him again.

[tobydandelion]

Disabled Villainy isn't Ableism, it's Realism, or; Some People are Wrong about Nessa.

[Some 'Wicked' stage musical/Movie part 2 spoilers]

So I've been seeing a lot of takes about Nessa, (mostly on YouTube since that's the best social media platform for my current neurological needs), and there's a somewhat common one that I have the strong urge to dispute into the void. Some folks seem to misunderstand Nessa's role in the deconstruction of 'Evil'.

The Wizard is Systemic Evil, Glinda is Complacent Evil, and Nessa is Socially Traumatized Evil.

Because Wicked isn't just deconstructing society's perception of evil, but also Evil in practice- which comes from not only bias, misunderstanding, apathy, and greed- but also, the cycle of abuse. And a lot of disabled people don't like to hear this, because there's that lovely statistic that we can point to that says we're "more likely to be victims"- and that's true of abuse that reaches the level of criminality- but I dont think that's true of day-to-day, average, 'just plain mean' abuse. That kind of abuse is a learned behavior that comes from trauma. And, emotional neglect from your peers is trauma. Feeling like a burden is trauma. Watching all the other children playing and feeling left out is trauma. Being made to feel different over your entire life, is trauma.

Nessa isn't an ableist character, she's realistically Borderline for being disabled in a world without Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Her character literally feels like she was written with BPD/NPD in mind- lashing out the most when she's feeling abandoned by a person she perceives as "hers", feeling the need to control the people around her, not caring how she hurts people in the process of that attempt to control their affection- she's literally my ex wife. They're both very extreme examples, but, with an understandable pathology. And the less extreme version of that is someone a lot of us need to actively fight against becoming every day. It's not fair that that's our burden, but it is. It's the thick line between healthy self-loving disabiltyPunk, or just being a dick. And it's a part of our extra personal labor that 'Entitles' us to an extra amount of grace that I don't think I'll ever really be able to properly quantify, because that line can be hard to see in the heat of the moment, through years of gaslighting and guilt and shame and resulting internalized ableism that we have the urge to fight against. The only way we can really see that line is in hindsight.

And while media that more thoroughly deconstructs this cycle is neccessary, so is simple media like Wicked. Especially in the context of an example of another traumatized marginalized character who made the decision to start actively trying to follow their ethics over their emotions despite their trauma. And, once again, the solution isn't limiting the options for marginalized characters, it's just making more marginalized characters in general.

A lot of folks also take issue with the entire concept of depicting disability being 'cured' in media at all, but, and thankfully I have actually seen this rebuttal: nothing about her life gets better once she becomes abled. And that's because she still has all that trauma from those years of severe marginalization that resulted in ostracization and feelings of powerlessness. She's still disabled- just only neurologically so, now. This is a terrific example of how different disabilities can intersect, and be exacerbated, or even created, by the neurological impact of marginalization.

In fact, that brings up another criticism that I've heard- that the characters are realistically ableist... in a society falling to fascism... in a story all about marginalization. I'm pretty sure that's intended, you guys.

Maybe I'll turn this into a script to film for shortform content next year when Part 2 comes out- I hope I'm out of Postpartum Depression by then. But I couldn't get this out of my head until I got it into words this morning. I think that's probably a good sign I'm starting to feel more like myself. Thankfully I had time to sit down and rock and type this morning, since my partner is taking care of our baby in the other room right now. (Not just babysitting, either- he's washing bottles.❤) He's 6 months now, and the most beautiful, funny, amazing person in the world. Meeting the new version of him every day as he gets stronger and brighter has been the light keeping me going. And we're already doing PHONICS. 💪🧠

[robo-writing]

hiii it’s anon who requested the chronic pain reader x Logan, I love that btw!

Recently, like for the past two weeks, random red spots have been appearing on my skin, and I probably got whooping cough again lmao- The doctors don’t know what the illness is, but they think it’s an autoimmune disease of some kind.

My skin as a result looks… At the very best lumpy. And I really hate how it’s making me look 🥲

so can I request another comfort request, with an afab!reader x Simon Riley with reader who’s going through at least something similar? If not that’s fine, I’m sorry for bombarding you 😭

You have trouble with your self-confidence at the best of times, but looking at yourself in the mirror right now makes you want to cry, truly. The large welts make your skin feel lumpy, irritated, and even under the layers of clothes all you can focus on is the fact they’re still on your body, taunting you.

You know it’s temporary, but every time you think about the deformities you feel the urge to curl into yourself and hide away. You’ve even stopped taking his calls, much to Simon’s annoyance, and after a week he’s had enough, knocking at your door urgently.

“Open up darling, lemme see you!”

“I’m sick!” Your muffled voice calls from your bedroom.

“I know where the spare key is love,” he replies, the tell-tale jingle making your ears perk up. “I’m coming inside.”

“No,” you weakly groan from beneath your covers. “I don’t want you to see me Si.”

Your pleas fall on deaf ears, hearing the lock click into place as his heavy footsteps enter. You can see his shadow coming closer, and the best you can do is bundle yourself in your sheets.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, can you please leave?”

He shakes his head, moving towards you. “No can do. Just wanna make sure you’re alright.”

Slowly, he pulls off the cover and if you were in better health maybe you could’ve resisted better. You turn your head away from him, not wanting to see the disgust on his face at your blemished skin.

“Oh wow…” he says, and the surprise in his voice makes you shrink away even further.

“I told you it was bad,” you sniffle, tugging the sheets back over you. He hesitates for a bit, trying to find the right words.

“Is it chickenpox?”

You know he’s serious, but you can’t help but give a half-hearted chuckle at his words. “No, the doctors don’t know what it is yet.”

“And is it contagious?”

“No—“

“Then move over.”

You look over your shoulder, confusion written in your face. “I’m sorry?”

He doesn’t repeat himself. He takes his shoes off, throws them into a neat pile by the bed, then worms his way under the blanket, wrapping his arms around your torso much to your surprise.

“You’ve been hiding from me all week, I’m making up for lost time,” he mumbles, pulling you even closer to his chest. “Rest up; I’ll buy you some ointment when you wake up.”

Mouth agape, it takes you a moment to catch up, and when you do you realize two things:

1. You’re not getting out of this bed anytime soon.

2. Simon is the best boyfriend you’ve ever had.

[ihni]

Introductions

For @harringrovemicroficandart, November prompt "Moon", 965 words

~~~

”That was so cool! Do you, like, howl at the moon at midnight too?”

Billy didn’t even try to resist the urge to roll his eyes over this stupid kid’s stupid question. He did resist growling though, due to the fact that the kid had just seen him transform back to human after his monthly Change. Wouldn’t want to freak out Max’s new classmate on their first week in town, after all.

Speaking of Max, she was the one to answer (since Billy sure as hell wasn't going to); “What? No, of course he doesn’t!”

Since it was Billy’s first Change in a new territory, she’d offered to stay in the car to keep an eye out in case the cops or curious locals passed by and got suspicious about a strange car on a random road in the middle of the night. So she’d been there when Billy got back after his Run – and unfortunately, she hadn’t been alone. One of her new classmates – a curly-haired kid with weird teeth – had apparently been biking past and seen her and decided to strike up a conversation, and she hadn’t been able to get rid of him before Billy showed up, still half wolfed-out.

Honestly, the kid had taken it pretty well. Anyone else would have screamed and made a run for it at the sight of a naked teen with claws and glowing eyes stumbling out of the woods.

God, Billy wished the kid had just screamed and made a run for it. It would have sucked to have been outed so soon, but at least it would have beat the kid excitedly trailing after him and blabbering, even as Billy walked around the car and putting his clothes back on.

“That’s good actually, that would be suspicious, there hasn’t been wolves in Indiana since, like, 1908. There are deer, though. Do you eat deer? Do you hunt deer?” An excited gasp, then, “Ohmygod, do you turn into a wolf and hunt deer?”

Billy didn’t deign that with a reply. He had Maxine for that.

“What the fuck, Dustin?!” Oh, so that was the kid’s name. “He doesn’t ‘turn into a wolf and hunt deer’ –” Billy pointedly didn’t say anything about the dead rabbit, “– why would you think that?”

The kid made a duh-face that made Billy want to punch him. “I’ve read it in comic books!”

“Oh, and I guess you believe everything you read in a comic book?”

“No,” the kid replied, drawing the word out and sounding way too sassy for his own good, “but I learned about werewolves from them and since that proved to be real, maybe the rest is true too. But if I got it wrong, feel free to correct me. In fact,” and here he shrugged off his backpack and reached in for – a notebook and a pen? “Please tell me everything.”

God help him, Billy was gonna strangle this kid.

Before he got a chance to, though, the rumble of a car engine caught his attention, and soon after the headlights of a car bathed the road in light. All three of them – Billy, Max and the annoying kid – turned to look as the car rolled to a stop next to the parked Camaro. The door on the driver’s side opened and someone stepped out, and Billy realized two things simultaneously:

The guy was his age, and really handsome.

The guy was a werewolf.

The guy must have realized the same about Billy, because his eyes didn’t leave Billy’s even as he addressed the kid. “Dustin, what are you doing here? Claudia sent me to pick you up at the Byers’ house but when I got there, Joyce said you’d already left. You know your mom doesn’t like you biking in the dark by yourself.”

“I’m not by myself though!” the kid said, breathless, “I’m with Max, this is Max, she goes to my school. I found here out here and I thought she’d been kidnapped or something because, like, a girl sitting in an abandoned car in the middle of the night –“

“It obviously wasn’t abandoned,” Max snarked, oblivious to the newcomer’s status since she hadn’t had her first Change yet, “since I was sitting in it!”

“– but it turned out she was just waiting for her brother, and Steve, you’re not gonna believe this –“

Billy and the newcomer – Steve – had been standing stock still since their eyes met, tensed and waiting for the other to make a move, but as soon as the kid began gesturing wildly towards Billy, Steve reached out to pull him behind him.

“Dustin, get in the car.”

Smart – you shouldn’t trust strange werewolves around kids. Which was precisely why Billy had subtly placed himself in front of Maxine.

Dustin protested, loudly. “No but Steve you don’t understand –“

A glance at Steve’s perfect hair, and Billy felt the sudden urge to ruffle some feathers.

“He already knows, kid,” he therefore said, and got to see the kid’s head whirl around and stare at first him, then Steve, then Max, and then back to Steve again.

“What? Have you met already? I thought you were home sick from school these last few days?”

Which must be why Billy hadn’t seen him around yet. He grinned, showing a hint of fang. “A wolf always recognizes another wolf. We can smell each other.” He nodded not-so-subtly to the notebook the kid was still holding. “You can note that down.” He looked up at Steve’s face, and let his tongue run over his teeth.

“You can?” the kid said, and then seemed to realize the implications of what Billy just said. “Wait – Does that mean –?” A gasp, and then a shriek, loud enough for birds to flee the nearby trees. “You’re a werewolf, Steve?!”

[runraerun]

AO3 | WC: 7.8k | Rated: E | CW: Internalized homophobia, references to the death of a parent, lots of swearing and general vulgarity from the both of them. Drug usage. Discussions of trading sex acts for drugs. Billy being an asshole but hey that’s new. | Tags: ADHD Eddie Munson, Semi-closeted Eddie, Fully-closeted Billy, One-Sided Steddie (or is it? We don’t know because of unreliable narrator reasons) Bully Billy Hargrove, Bullied Eddie Munson, Coming In Pants, Dry Humping, Eddie calls Billy ‘m’lord’ in here god help him, Happy Ending, some angst sprinkled throughout, but overall quite fluffy.

(Title is inspired by a song of the same name by Chromeo.)

Summary:

“I’ll cut you a deal, Munson,” Billy says, his icy-pop blue eyes and dark lashes illuminated by the end of his stolen cigarette. “I’ll let you have something. Y’know, as payment.”

But pretty as Billy is, Eddie’s no sucker. “I don’t do trades either.”

“You’re gonna wanna hear this trade.” Billy exhales a cloud of white smoke between them.

Eddie doubts it, but the sooner he hears it the sooner he can shoot it down. “Spit it out then.”

Billy Hargrove stands there, half-smirk on his face, hips tilted forward. Like he’s God’s fucking gift. “I’ll let you suck my dick.”

And that.

Well.

Eddie isn’t exactly sure what he was expecting but it sure as hell isn’t that. 

Or, Billy tries to pay for drugs by offering to let Eddie blow him.

Of all the mugs Eddie expects to see in his neck of the woods, the one attached to Billy Hargrove, resident bad boy slash heartthrob with a notoriously short fuse and a mean right hook, is not one of ‘em.

The fact that he’s alone isn’t much of a comfort, but it’s… well, it’s something. It means if Billy’s planning on jumping him and stealing his stash, then at least Eddie’s got a shot at running and actually getting away with all his teeth intact.

Eddie sucks back on his cigarette, grateful he has something to do with his fidgeting hands as he eyes Hargrove’s approach. Tries his best to keep still—something he’s always been absolute dog shit at. Even as a little kid. They tossed words at him like Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyperactivity ’til the cows came home. Never changed anything, though. Mom always just called it ants in his pants. For Uncle Wayne, it was worms up his butt. All said in love, of course. Eddie was ant and worm-free, far as he knew. Just had a lot of energy is all. And a lot to say too. That isn’t a crime! But right now, under Billy Hargrove’s slow approach, he tries his damndest to get all his ants and his worms to settle down. No sudden moves in front of ticking time bombs.

“You’re Munson, right?” Hargrove asks in a low, slightly nasally voice. He’s stopped a few feet from the picnic table that Eddie’s perched on, his canister of goodies sitting unassumingly beside him.

Eddie fights his nerves—bulldozes over them, more like, and smiles wide, holding out his arms in a display of showmanship. “The one and only.”

Billy scoffs as his eyes travel around the clearing. Doesn’t seem too impressed by the ol’ Munson razzle-dazzle. “You alone out here?” he asks, eyes finally returning to Eddie’s.

Eddie shifts, leaning forward slightly—literally on edge. Why the hell did he have to say that so fucking ominously? “I was ‘til you showed up,” Eddie answers.

Billy hums noncommittally and doesn’t even try to hide the way he’s looking Eddie up and down. Sizing him up. Double-checking to make sure Eddie’s not a threat, maybe. Eddie fights the urge to duck his head and pull his shoulders in to assure Billy that he isn’t one. He’s a lover, not a fighter. In theory, anyway.

“Now what can I do for you on this fine evening, Mr. Hargrove? I don’t keep everything on me…“ Eddie trails off before he continues, “But I got anything you’d want.”

Billy snorts, “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

“You’re from Cali, right? I got weed from there. Stuff that tastes like blueberries,” Eddie leans forward and bounces his brows, “I got some shrooms from the coast too that could even knock someone like you on your ass. So, what’re you into, Hargrove? What’s your poison?”

Billy’s got an amused look on his face. He’s smirking, but no part of it’s warm or welcoming. It sets Eddie even further on edge than he already had been. “You sure know a lot about me.”

Eddie shrugs, feigning innocence. He takes another pull from his cigarette. “It’s a small town; people talk. Especially around people like me. Y’know, the kinda people who don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. And you, Billy Hargrove, you’re, well…”

Eddie bites his tongue before he continues to embarrass himself. Clears his throat instead, tries to think of something not entirely stupid to say, but the words rush around his noggin so quickly that he can’t seem to catch and pin down any one of ‘em.

The forest floor crunches under the sole of Billy’s heavy black boots as he takes a slow, purposeful step forward. “I’m what, freak?”

Eddie swallows. Feels the hair on the back of his neck stand. Jesus, does this guy ever blink? Fucking blue-eyed people and their zombie stares…

He smiles despite his nerves. Then, with a tilt of his head, he answers. “You’re hard to miss.”

It’s grounds to get punched, Eddie knows. Innocent as the comment is, Eddie’s been hit for less. Shit, he got shoved into a locker for looking too long that one time in middle school. Spent the whole fucking lunch break with no one but his ripe gym socks to keep him company. So yeah, maybe Eddie’s a little jumpy around jocks like Billy Hargrove who look like they could fold Eddie into a pretzel without breaking a sweat.

Billy doesn’t look like he’s gearing up to punch Eddie, though. Not yet anyway. He just looks sort of… amused.

It’s getting late. The sun’s low in the sky, and every few seconds it catches on Billy’s earring or his chain, both temporarily blinding him. Eddie doesn’t let his eyes wander, though. He’s got enough self-discipline for that at least.

“I’ll take some of that blueberry kush,” Billy finally says, checking over his shoulder one last time before he flicks his head towards Eddie. “But I don’t got any money. Not until Monday. I’ll have to owe you.”

“Sorry pal,” Eddie leans back, palms against the flat of the picnic tabletop. He blows the smoke from his cigarette up towards the sky. “I don’t do I.O.U’s.”

The air shifts between them. Eddie can feel it. The blue-eyed zombie stare darkens, and Billy takes another step forward until his hip nearly knocks up against one of Eddie’s bent legs. “What? You don’t think I’m good for it, pal?”

“I don’t know you, man,” Eddie mutters around his cigarette, shifting uncomfortably. He always hates this part of the job. He’s been a punching bag on and off for most of his life, but that doesn’t mean he’s gotta like it.

“You just went on and on about how you did.” Billy spits, and Eddie flinches as it hits his cheek. He doesn’t dare raise a hand to swipe it off though, lest it be interpreted as a move to strike.

“Look, I can hold it for you until Monday, but that’s the best I can do.” Eddie offers, but it’s not enough. He knows it’s not even close to enough. Guys like Hargrove aren’t used to being told no.

“C’mon man, there’s gotta be some deal you can cut me. I just wanna have a good fucking night. You can understand that, can’t you, Munson?” Billy asks, his voice going soft. Smooth. Breathy.

And even though his insides are fucking liquifying in real time as he does it, Eddie shakes his head, his long hair curtaining his face as he does. “Can’t do it, man.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just beat the shit out of you and take your shit anyway, huh? How about that?” Billy asks, his bottom lip caught between especially sharp-looking teeth. Eddie looks up, his dark eyes lock onto Billy’s salt-water blue ones. Stormy fucking seas. Eddie sure as hell doesn’t want to get beat up tonight, but if he starts cutting deals and giving special treatment to everyone who threatens him he’d be intimidated right out of business. And he needs the cash. Can’t leave all the bills to Uncle Wayne.

Before Eddie can think up a clever answer, Billy’s got his head thrown back, and he’s cackling. “Shit, I’m fucking with you, dude. Put that face away. I swear, no one in this fucking town can take a goddamn joke.”

Eddie doesn’t bother defending himself, just takes his cigarette from his mouth, knocks off the ash and gives a shaky exhale before putting it back between his lips. He barely starts in on his next inhale when the damn thing is plucked out of his mouth.

Lightening fast. Eddie hadn’t even seen his hands—but there was his cigarette, half-smoked, between Billy’s lips. Eddie feels his face heat at the idea of Billy’s mouth being where his own was, just a second before.

“Ha ha,” Eddie mutters, his eyes narrowing. He’s feeling somewhat brave, despite feeling distinctly like a mouse that’s being battered by a cat's paw. “Very cute.”

Billy tips his head, accepting the comment as if it were a compliment. He doesn’t give Eddie his dart back though—the guy just keeps smoking it with a swarmy fucking grin on his tanned, well-proportioned face.

Because the truth is that Billy is easy on the eyes. Nice to look at. It’s entirely counteracted by the fact that the longer you look at that aforementioned face the higher your chances are of getting a knuckle sandwich sent hurtling your way… but Eddie’s still got functioning eyeballs. He can see that Billy’s… well. Beautiful.

In a weird way, though. Like how Eddie pictures the elves from Middle Earth might look.

Fucking ethereal and shit.

“I’ll cut you a deal, Munson,” Billy says, blue eyes and dark lashes illuminated by the cherry of that stolen cigarette. “I’ll let you have something. Y’know, as payment.”

But pretty as Billy is, Eddie’s no sucker. “I don’t do trades either.”

“You’re gonna wanna hear this trade.” Billy exhales a cloud of white between them.

Eddie doubts it, but the sooner he hears it the sooner he can shoot it down. “Spit it out then.” He sighs.

But Billy doesn’t ‘spit it out’. Instead, he shifts weight from foot to foot, looking suddenly agitated again. Billy sniffs and scratches his nose with the nail of his thumb. Like he’s tweaking. Eddie waits him out. Curiosity officially piqued.

Finally, after doing his little dance, Billy leans forward, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. “I’ll let you suck my dick.”

And that.

Well.

Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting but it sure as hell wasn’t that.

The shock is written all over Eddie’s face, he’s sure. He’s never been good at concealing his emotions—an open book, his mom called him. Shit liar, is what his dad called him. Either way, he knows the surprise of what Billy’s offered up plays across his face by the way Billy’s eyes dance around it, looking pleased.

“What?” Eddie squeaks out, face suddenly on fire.

“You heard me,” Billy snaps, “I ain’t sayin’ it again.”

Eddie blinks, looks away from Billy Hargrove’s icey freeze-pop eyes. It’s no easy task. “You’ll let me…?”

Eddie motions towards the crotch of Billy’s exceptionally tight jeans. Jeans that leave very little to the imagination, Eddie might add.

Billy grins, his pink tongue caught between his teeth as he leans back, jutting his hips out a little.

“I’ll let you,” he confirms. Standing there like he’s God’s fucking gift.

Though he’s got very little air left in his lungs, Eddie gives a weak scoff. “Shouldn’t this be the other way around?”

And for the first time tonight, Eddie does feel at risk of being sucker punched. Billy’s eyes flare, and just like that his beauty melts into something ugly. Like a spell is cast over him—beauty to beast. “I’m no cock-sucker.” He spits out.

In a show of surrender, Eddie raises his hands. “I didn’t say you were. I just—usually when someone is offering sexual favors it’s… Y’know what? Whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’m not—I don’t trade in pleasures of the flesh, ‘kay? That’s not what I’m doing here, Hargrove. It’s cash only.”

But Billy’s either got a hearing problem or a comprehension problem because he rolls his eyes and just keeps on bartering. “Fine, I’ll give you a handjob. After my blow job.”

Now. Eddie isn’t a prude. In fact, he’s probably something of a pervert if his porno of choice is any indication of that, but this—with Billy?

Eddie’s spent this entire interaction scared fucking stiff, and now Billy’s offering to go and get him into an even more vulnerable position—with Eddie’s pants literally around his ankles?

“No.” Eddie aggressively shakes his head, sending his curls in motion. No no no. Fuck no. As hot as Billy is—no. The decision is final. Take it or leave it, Eddie thinks stubbornly. Heels successfully dug in.

Billy sighs through his nose, takes a step back and chuckles dryly to himself. “I know you’re a queer, Munson. Don’t—!” Billy snaps, pointing a finger in Eddie’s face when he dares open his mouth to deny it, “don’t fucking lie to me.

Eddie swallows, promptly shutting the fuck up.

Is he really that obvious…?

Billy continues, “I know you’re a queer. I saw the way you used to look at Harrington, back when we were all in school together. Gym class,” Billy leans forward, back in Eddie’s space, their shared cigarette bouncing between them as he speaks, “the showers. Remember?”

It’s been a year since Hargrove and Harrington both leap-frogged him out of Hawkins High, diplomas in tow. A full year, but apparently Billy’s got a fucking photographic memory. Eddie feels his t-shirt stick to his back, slick with sweat. “Whatever, man. It’s not a crime to look.”

“It is in this shit hole of a town,” Billy chuckles, dark and humourless, “so you get it now? I know you like dick. And I like pot. So, let’s work something out, here, Munson.”

Billy claps his hands together between them, loud and jarring. “Time’s a’wastin’, amigo!”

Jesus this guy…

“Even if I did like dick,” Eddie tilts his head and scrunches his nose, “it doesn’t mean I want your dick, Hargrove.”

“A dick’s a dick, man. And trust me, I got a nice, big fat one for you to choke on, trust me, you’ll love it,” Billy laughs as he speaks, watching in amusement as Eddie rubs a hand over his heated, blotchy face. “C’mon, you’ve sucked cock before, right?”

The simple answer is yeah, a couple of times. Every time it ended pretty much the same though. With him being shoved off after they’d finished. Being told they weren’t gay, that if Eddie were to ever tell anyone about the encounter they would deny it, call Eddie a liar, or worse, beat the shit out of him.

He’s not a dummy; Eddie knows being queer in Hawkins is a risk, so it made sense to want to keep it hush-hush. Eddie’s the rumoured gay kid, so if you’re gonna experiment with someone, why not let it be with him? But after a handful of times being treated like trash—something people needed to wash their hands in Javex from after simply touching him—he stopped. It didn’t feel good.

“You don’t gotta answer. I already know you have.” Billy mutters, smug. “Mouth like that.”

There’s no way Billy knows, but Eddie ducks his head, tired of how this entire fucking conversation has him feeling like he wants to crawl out of his skin. Tired of how the darker the sky gets, the brighter Billy’s eyes seem to turn.

And what the fuck’s wrong with Eddie’s mouth..?

“Cash only,” Eddie repeats. Monotone. Suddenly overstimulated as fuck.

Billy finally pulls the last bit that he can from the cigarette, down to the butt, before he flicks the remains of it into the grass. He gives one final, frustrated exhale of smoke. “Fine. Jesus, Munson, you drive one hell of a bargain. But I’ll sweeten the deal for you, alright?”

“Jesus, Hargrove, are your ears not working? Or did you get hit one too many times with the basketball during your jock days? I said I’m not interested. In your cock or your hand or whatever else you try and offer up.” Eddie exclaims, voice going high with strain.

But it’s like the more worked up Eddie gets, the more Billy wags his fucking tail. He’s all lit up, shiny white teeth built for puncturing. He gets back to crowding Eddie—Eddie, who’s one hair’s breadth away from raising his hands and shoving this smug asshole away from him, not caring if he gets his ass kicked as a consequence, but then Billy’s talking again. And Eddie… Eddie’s listening.

“We could kiss a little,” Billy drawls out, angling his mouth towards Eddie’s ear. He lets his voice drop to a low rumble, his words vibrating in that wide chest of his. It sends a chill down Eddie’s spine. “Y’know, make out. You got a van, right? Nice and private. You’d like that.”

Eddie turns his head towards Billy, so close they’re nearly touching each other. His mouth hangs open, slack, but Eddie can’t get a fucking word out. His whole fucking life, all he’s ever heard is ‘Jesus, does this kid have an off switch?’ ‘Eddie, give mommy’s ears a break, please,’ ‘Eddie is very disruptive in class with his constant chatting’. And now he can’t make a single goddamn sound!

Billy, on the other hand, seems entirely pleased at rendering the great motor-mouth-Munson to a mute. “I’m a good kisser, too.” He adds, eyes dropping down to Eddie’s mouth. Like he’s gonna do it right here and now. Eddie’s throat clicks when he swallows.

The embarrassing part is that, well—Except his Mom and his Meemaw and his weird cousin that one time, he’s never… y’know. Been kissed.

Sucked cock? Sure, yeah. That ship has sailed. Sayo-fuckin’-nara.

But kissing? On the mouth? Romantically? It hasn’t happened for Eddie yet. Not that any of what Billy’s propositioning here is in any way romantic, of course, but…

Eddie watches as Billy darts a pink tongue out between his lips, wetting them so that they glisten. Jesus Christ. How can he say no to that? Rules or no, Eddie’s only fucking human. Does he not bleed if he’s cut? Does he not get hard if he’s presented with an absolute fucking smoke show like Billy Hargrove offering to make out with him? All for the low low price of his dignity and a couple of ounces?

“You… actually want to?” Eddie frowns, counter to the nervous smile that’s pulling at the corners of his mouth.

Billy clicks his tongue and shrugs a shoulder, eyes scanning the horizon for like, the hundredth time. “What I want is for you to cut me a deal. That’s enough, ain’t it?”

No, is Eddie’s knee-jerk answer. It’s not enough. Not even close. But, maybe the first kiss fantasy he’s got built up in his head wasn’t ever gonna happen. Especially not for someone like Eddie. He’s probably lucky. Billy’s hot. Willing. And Eddie’s… well, there’s not exactly anyone lining up at Eddie’s front door for the pleasure of his company, let’s just say that.

He feels himself nodding before his brain has even had a chance to catch up. “Yeah. Fine. Okay.”

“Yeah?” Billy grins, canines flashing, “Guess I should’ve started with the chick stuff first, huh?”

Chick stuff? Eddie makes a face. Suddenly emboldened, he shoves a hand against Billy’s shoulder, which just makes him laugh harder. “Don’t be a shithead, Hargrove, or deal’s off. Got it? I’ll walk, I swear to Christ!”

Billy doesn’t agree nor does he disagree, he just leers after Eddie like a fucking bonafied weirdo. And as someone who’s all but cornered the market on being a bonafide weirdo, that’s saying something. He hops off the picnic table, scooping up his lunch box of goodies as he does, not daring to turn his back on Hargrove. “I’m parked just through here.”

Eddie starts towards his van, stealing glances over at Billy as he trudges on after him, only a step behind. Just enough to make Eddie nervous. “Don’t you have like, a job?”

“Two of ‘em, actually.” Billy answers, hands stuffed into his pockets. “Why?”

“How do you not have any cash on you?” Eddie asks, blunt as always.

Billy stiffens, just a little. “That’s none of your business, Munson.”

Eddie raises his hands in yet another mock surrender, “sure, whatever. Remain a man of mystery, I don’t care.”

Just seems stupid, is all. Billy must be fucking terrible with money. Probably spends it all on his obnoxiously loud car. Eddie doesn’t voice any of his many theories though. Billy’s covered in live wires, and Eddie’s not overly eager to start touching and testing ‘em.

The woods aren’t especially dense, but it’s new growth—the old forest chopped down a few decades back and left to grow back all weedy and skinny. There’s lots of branches to duck under along with dirt holes to roll your ankles in. Eddie knows his pathway like the back of his hand by this point, but Billy; not so much. There’s a bundle of eye level branches that always used to smack Eddie in the face when he was focused on his footing, so he makes sure to turn and holds the offending branches back for Billy so he doesn’t totally eat it.

Thinking back, maybe it’s a weird thing to do for another guy, but Eddie’s radar for what’s weird and what isn’t has been busted since he first got cut out of his mom. Always difficult, even back then.

So yeah, Eddie doesn’t get a thank you, or whatever—instead Billy just eyes him with an air of suspicion as he ducks under Eddie’s arm. Like he’s waiting for Eddie to let the branches go or something. Who knows.

Either way, it’s the last great hurdle before they’re back at Eddie’s van, which is right where he left her; parked in the middle of the small gravel lot behind the watershed. Nobody came back here, especially not at night.

His hands shake when he takes out his keys, feeling Billy’s eyes on him. Briefly wonders what kind of mess was waiting for them in the back, but whatever. It’s not like Billy’s expecting The Ritz.

He gets the doors unlocked, and because he’s a gentleman, he holds the door open for his hook-up.

Despite his nerves rattling around under his skin, Eddie gives a little flourish for good measure, holding out an arm for Billy to take. “After you, m’lord.”

Billy scoffs, blue eyes rolling back in his head. And as dim as the light is, Eddie swears he can see two pink spots form on the apples of Billy’s cheeks. He counts it for a win.

“You’re so fuckin’ weird.” Billy mutters as he crawls into the back of Eddie’s van, pointedly ignoring Eddie’s offered arm, the whole thing shifting with the heft of him.

“Wow, y’know what, Hargrove, I had never heard that one before.” Eddie says, hot on Billy’s heels. He swings the door shut behind him.

The back of Eddie’s van is pretty spartan, but only because he’d just finished using it to lug a shit ton of gear to and from a Corroded Coffin gig. What’s left behind is a couple of ratty blankets, some old sweaters, a scattering of sheet music and some candy bar wrappers. It could be neater, but overall it’s not terrible.

Billy sits with his back to one side of the van, his legs spread, knees bent. He sits like a man. One used to taking up room and not apologizing for it. Eddie backs himself up against the opposite wall of the van’s interior, knees bent to his chest, legs crossing at his ankles. There’s not much light back here, but Eddie’s eyes adjust quickly to spot Billy’s agitated-looking face.

“Well?” Mr. California barks, one of his legs begins bouncing restlessly. It shakes the whole van.

Eddie swallows, “well?”

“Where’s the weed?” Billy asks.

Oh.

Right. Wake up, Munson.

Eddie scrambles to get his feet back under him before he squeezes his upper half into the front of the van, reaching into the glove box to grab a baggie.

“Here y’go.” Eddie winces as he pulls himself back through. He sits on bent legs, closer to Billy now. He bestows upon him the sacred sandwich baggy of goods. “Premium blueberry kush, 100% indica. So it’ll mellow you right out. Not that you need to chill out, of course, but, y’know. It should, in theory, help with that scary vein you get in your forehead sometimes.”

Billy glares at Eddie as he swipes the bag out of his hands, the scary vein threatening to make an appearance right there and now. He turns that glare toward the bundles of dried herbs.

“You got a bong or a pipe or somethin’?” Billy mumbles.

“Duh,” Eddie scoffs, breathing entirely too hard, “Why?”

“What’d’ya mean, ‘why?’ To smoke this shit with.” Billy gives the baggy a few vicious shakes in front of Eddie’s face.

Eddie feels his eyes cross as he follows the weed. “Right now?”

“Unless you feel like rollin’ it.” Billy shrugs, sounding like his already thin patience is beginning to wear even thinner.

“No—uh, I just thought you’d wanna smoke at home or whatever.” Not with Eddie.

A crease forms between Billy’s eyebrows as he frowns. “What, you don’t wanna smoke with me, Munson?”

Eddie snorts, shakes his head, “hey, I’ll smoke with anyone—“

“Then shut the fuck up and get the bong already!” Billy shouts, fuse burnt down to the quick.

And if there’s one thing about Eddie, is he responds well to yelling. Or, not well, per se, but shouting always seems to snap him out of whatever fog he’s in. It works on him. So, yeah, he responds. Jumps to attention. His mom used to have to snap her fingers in front of his face to ‘bring him back’, she said. No one else seems to bother with that sort of gentle touch with Eddie though, except Uncle Wayne, but he usually just gives Eddie’s hair a tussle instead of a snap.

So back to the front he goes, sliding the keys into the ignition and starting the old girl up while he’s there so that they’ve got some music to fill the silence. And if memory serves him correctly, Billy’s got pretty decent taste, music-wise.

When he sits back down, bong in hand.

“Ta-da!” Eddie sings, holding the contraption up by the neck to Billy in victory, careful not to tip it over. Billy looks entirely unimpressed as he grabs it out of Eddie’s hand and slots it between his thighs.

Lucky bong.

Billy starts grinding up some pieces between his fingers and packing the bowl with a familiarity that Eddie can respect.

Technically, it’s still Eddie’s weed that Billy’s prepping, since he hasn’t exactly gotten payment for the pot yet, but… maybe Billy needs the vapour courage before he can face the idea of kissing another dude. Of kissing Eddie.

Eddie watches from behind the hair he’d let fall in his face as Billy lights the bowl, inhales, and takes a hit. It’s sort of pretty, the way he slowly exhales the smoke out of the side of his mouth. Away from Eddie.

Then the bong is being pressed into his hands. Eddie’s turn.

He takes a rip, then another one once Billy’s taken another hit of his own, and that’s all it takes for the both of ‘em to get laid out on their asses. They end up flat on their backs, the round part of their shoulders touching, both staring up at the ceiling of the van, with rolled-up sweaters and blankets under their heads in the way of makeshift pillows. They’re the kind of high where time feels like it’s barely moving. Something made up. A concept. Like there’s a very real possibility that Eddie and Billy have been lying here for an eternity, and then some.

And Eddie still hasn’t gotten any kisses from Billy.

But he also hasn’t gotten any punches by Billy either, so there’s that…

“You ever seen the ocean, Munson?” Billy murmurs in a voice that’s gone a little rough thanks to all the smoke still floating around the van. Now successfully hot-boxed. Drawing out their high.

Eddie’s arms feel heavy. “No.”

Billy turns his neck to look at Eddie like he’s re-evaluating his idea of him paired with this new, disappointing information. Eddie turns his head away from Billy, just a little, feeling weirdly embarrassed. “Never even left the state.”

Small town, trailer trash… that’s probably what Billy thinks of him. Billy, who’s been everywhere. Especially compared to Eddie. He expects to get laughed at, but Billy keeps surprising Eddie. He just looks… bummed out.

“You’d probably hate it,” Billy states, sure of himself, eyes dancing across Eddie’s face. “You’d burn right fuckin’ quick. Get sand all up in your shorts. D’you even know how to swim?”

“A little.” Eddie means to say defensively, but it comes out as little more than a sigh.

“Not in waves, though, I bet. You’d end up swallowing your weight in seawater before I hauled your ass out,” Billy’s smiling at the strange little fantasy where Eddie’s tormented by the elements. Eddie’s giggling along too, though he’s entirely unsure as to why.

“A crab might even,” lighting fast, Billy reaches over to punch the barely-there roll on Eddie’s stomach, “get’chya.”

Eddie yelps—or maybe he squeals. He can’t be sure. Either way, whatever sound he lets out isn’t in any way charming or cute. Which; no surprise there. Instinctually, his hand’s gone and encircled itself around Billy’s wrist, but he’s too fucking blitzed out to do more than just squeeze it, trying to appear threatening. Sort of tough when you can’t stop fucking giggling. “Stop, stop—I’m gonna piss myself, dude.”

Billy’s got his tongue caught between his teeth, laughing along, low and rough in his throat, but to his credit (and probably a desire not to be covered in piss) he releases his hold on Eddie’s stomach.

They settle back on their backs, one Metallica track leading into another. It’s the only way Eddie can be sure the clocks haven’t all stopped entirely. Proof the passage of time is still in working order. He exhales in relief, staring at Billy’s profile.

For someone so fucking scary, he’s got deceptively cute features. An honest-to-Christ button nose, along with some ridiculously long eyelashes. Golden ringlets fall around his face. Freckles too, all over his cheeks. Even a Cupid’s bow. When Billy fell from heaven, he didn’t hit like, a single ugly branch on his way down.

Eddie blinks before his brain catches up with what he’s looking at; Billy, staring back at him. When did Billy turn his head? How long have their eyes been locked? A second? A year? Time’s fucking with him so hard, Jesus…

“M’not really an outdoorsy kinda guy.” Eddie admits, unable to keep from smiling.

Because of the weed.

Billy gives a lazy snort as if what Eddie had just said was the understatement of the year. “That’s weird, because you kinda look like a bug.”

It shouldn’t make him laugh as hard as it does, but Eddie feels the rumble of it in his chest, and he can’t help but let out a series of very unflattering sounding laughs. Billy’s not laughing along, but he seems entirely entertained by Eddie’s fucking display.

When he finally catches his breath, Eddie indignantly squeaks out, “How do I look like a bug?”

“Because,” Billy flicks his chin towards Eddie’s face, teasing half-smile still firmly in place, “you got them big buggy eyes.”

Eddie blows a low-energy strawberry, rolling his eyes before they land back on Billy. Can’t seem to take his eyes off of him for long. “I’ll have you know that my ‘big buggy eyes’ are my best feature.”

Billy narrows his eyes, clearly amused. “You think so?”

“I know so. It’s what everyone tells me.” Eddie widens his eyes to drive the point home.

Everyone being his mom when she was still alive, and… well, just his mom. But she was a real smart lady. And like, super pretty. A total knock-out. She knew about this sort of thing. He remembers how she used to go on and on about his big brown puppy-dog eyes, about how they’d break hearts one day. And no one, especially not Billy Hargrove, can take that away from him. Even if it is something all moms say to their funny-looking kids.

“Well, everyone’s lying to you,” Billy says, in that casually cruel way of his.

Eddie drops his jaw in an exaggerated show of the offense. “Is that so?”

“Yep,” Billy confirms, smug. A true blue asshole; through and through. “Your best feature’s your lips, no question.”

And. Well, no one’s ever said anything about his lips before. Not his mom, not his hook-ups—no one.

They’re just… lips. Not especially big or small. Kind of right in the middle. They’re even kinda chapped right now.

“Gee, thanks.” He murmurs, from lips that Billy Hargrove apparently approves of. Maybe even likes. His fingers twitch at his sides, palms growing sweaty.

Billy just looks away, like Eddie’s caught him doing something wrong. Caught him being nice. Guess it probably hurts the ol’ bad boy image to compliment other boy’s lips. Eddie resists the urge to raise one of his hands and feel along the ridges of his mouth, to map ‘em out. Try and figure out what Billy likes about them enough to say it out loud. He’s buzzing with the compliment.

“So, you still want… y’know, payment or whatever?” Billy asks, keeping his words to little more than a low murmur between them.

The song playing through the speakers stops—a brief pause before it leads into the next one. It’s deathly quiet in those tense few seconds.

Eddie doesn’t answer Billy right away. He can’t. So instead, he just… lets the questions hang between them. Because the thing is, God help him, he does. And yeah, maybe he didn’t plan on his first kiss being with big bad Billy Hargrove—maybe instead of golden curls and freckles Eddie had envisioned dark, fluffy hair and a splattering of moles. Big brown bedroom eyes instead of sharp, icy blue ones. Either way, he’s way out of his depth. Out of his league. In fact, Eddie should be on his hands and knees thanking Billy for even considering sucking face with a guy like him. He should be psyched. And he is!

Fuck, this weed is making it hard to keep his thoughts linear. He stares back at Billy, realizing suddenly that he’s been waiting for an answer to his question.

“Nothing is ever free, Hargrove,” Eddie answers, cryptic, even to his own ears, “you should know that.”

Because it’s the truth, isn’t it? Nobody just does shit out of the goodness of their hearts. Everyone expects something in return. Everyone’s gotta pay the piper. And if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. So yeah, Eddie gives what he can, but he also takes what he can get. Same as Billy, Eddie suspects.

Billy’s got a real perplexed sort of look on his face. Golden and tan, even in the cold, sterile light of night. His eyes momentarily dart to Eddie’s lips, just for a split second. But split second or no, Eddie’d caught it. The tiny motion sends his beat-up little dime-store heart all a’flutter. Billy likes these lips.

“Close your eyes,” Billy tells him, voice cigarette rough.

Eddie does it, trying to keep his breathing even. Shallow, so he doesn’t puff hot air in Billy’s face when he approaches. His hands lay limply by his sides, with his hair splayed around his like some expanding ink blot on the floor of his van.

He has the sudden and quite frankly embarrassing image of Snow White lying dead in her glass coffin, pale-skinned and raven-haired, waiting for a kiss of her own.

It’s so stupid that he ends up snorting.

“What? You think this is funny, Munson?” Billy growls, voice sounding like it’s still to the right of him, but that he’s propped up on an elbow or something.

Eddie shakes his head, keeping his eyes closed. A smile tugs at one of the corners of his mouth, totally beyond his control. “No, no, it’s stupid. I. Just—fuck. Sorry. Forget I did that.”

“If you think this is stupid, then I can go. I don’t need this shit—“

”No! Stop—“ Eddie reaches out and grabs the front of Billy’s shirt, his eyes popping open in panic. “You’re not stupid—I’m… shit, you’re gonna laugh.”

“Just tell me, shithead.” Billy snaps, face getting more and more red as his temper rises.

“Fine. Jesus.” Eddie squirms under the intensity of Billy’s gaze. All hard edges and intimidation now. Eddie’s only had the Billy that tickles him and tells him nice things about his lips for a fucking millisecond, but he already misses him.

“I’ve never kissed anyone before, alright?” He blurts out, quick like a bandaid.

And with that, Billy’s eyes go a little funny. The icey shards in his eyes melt back to tumultuous waters. “Seriously?”

“No, dude, I’m lying about being a total loser with no game.” Eddie snorts, emboldened by his buzzing high.

Billy frowns, “Aren’t you like, two years older than me?”

“Look, I had opportunities, okay? But mostly… It was, y’know. With girls. Pretty ones, too!” his brows shoot up, attempting to emphasize the point, “but I just… I never wanted to.”

Billy’s stone-still while he listens. Looking like he’s hanging off every word that Eddie’s stumbling over.

“So, you can’t even fake it?” He asks.

Eddie blinks, suddenly lost. “Fake what?”

“Liking chicks.” He answers quickly.

“Nah,” Eddie huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “I’m a shitty liar.”

“Poor bastard.” Billy mumbles, mostly to himself. Then he clicks his tongue, “That’s a real tough break, amigo.”

Eddie’s shoulders twitch. “I get by.”

A corner of Billy’s mouth turns down and he tilts his head like he’s allowing Eddie some small, indiscernible mercy.

“I just feel bad,” Billy says, low and smooth, “you starting at the very top like this. Everyone else after me is gonna feel like a major fuckin’ letdown.”

Eddie snorts, looking up at Billy, who’s got himself propped up on an elbow and is sort of hovering above him. “Big talk, Hargrove.”

Canines flash. “Well I got a big game, Munson.”

“You’re a real cocky b—” Eddie’s words are smushed back into his mouth when Billy suddenly leans forward and presses his lips against Eddie’s.

Billy’s got a hand against Eddie’s neck, the pad of his thumb against the edge of his jaw, tilting his face up just so. Eddie can hear his heart thundering in his chest, white noise overtaking For Whom the Bell Tolls.

His first kiss.

It’s warm and soft. Drier than he expected it would be. The stubble of Billy’s moustache scrapes against his upper lip, sending shockwaves up and down Eddie’s spine. Billy smells like cologne. Or maybe that’s aftershave—he can’t tell. Eddie fills his lungs with it, breathing deeply through his nose.

The thumb resting against Eddie’s jaw begins stroking along his cheek. Delicately. Like Eddie’s something fragile. Precious, even. He’s gone all tingly everywhere Billy touches him—like magic.

It’s about this time that Billy parts his lips, sliding a tongue along the seam of Eddie’s mouth, gentle prodding—like he’s looking for a weak point. Somewhere to gain entry.

Or maybe he just wanted to taste Eddie’s lips.

Hey, can’t a guy dream?

Billy shifts his weight, further encroaching into Eddie’s personal space, his broad shoulders caging over top of Eddie’s narrower ones. Then Billy raises a leg and swings it over before letting his hips drop over top of Eddie’s own. It’s like touching a fucking live wire. He can’t help the way he reflexively gasps and bucks up into the solid bulk above him. And sweet Jesus Mary and Joseph… he’s rock fucking hard in his jeans. When did that happen?

Flood gates open. Billy—clearly emboldened by the discovery of what he’s doing to Eddie’s body—deepens their kiss by sticking his tongue down Eddie’s throat. The sensation is weird as hell—Eddie’s only ever had his own tongue in his mouth, but there Billy’s is, swirling around, dipping in and out as the sound of their smacking lips fills the van, harmonizing with Hammett‘s insane, face-melting guitar solo.

There are teeth involved now too; Billy’s biting Eddie’s lower lip and pulling, stopping right before it gets painful. It brings sounds out of Eddie that he’d never heard himself make before. Didn’t even know that he could make. All breathy and moany. Maybe he should be embarrassed about how loud he’s progressively getting, but it’s hard to think straight when Billy’s slowly grinding his hips down against his. And Billy’s—fuck, Billy’s hard too. That’s gotta be what that is, right? Jesus H. Christ…

Their hips move in tandem now, the same way their tongues seem to. It’s like Eddie’s body just knows what to do. It’s fucking incredible. He’s never been naturally good at anything in his life. Nothing comes easily to Eddie Munson. Every talent he’s got has been hard-fought, earned through blood, sweat and tears.

But this… Eddie might actually be kinda good at this.

Or maybe Billy’s just a really good teacher.

He’s a cocky asshole, but Eddie fears he might have been serious about everyone else being a letdown after him. Because how the hell is anyone else going to compare to this? To Billy Hargrove. Mr. California King. Eddie could swear he’s glowing right now—like Billy’s spent so much time laid out in the sunlight that a couple of rays got trapped just underneath his skin. Dude can’t help but shine.

Yeah, he’ll be a tough act to follow.

But that’s another Eddie’s problem. Future Eddie. Meanwhile, the here and now Eddie, is getting kissed. He’s got Billy’s big arms wrapped around him, like Eddie’s somehow worth something to someone like him.

Down south, there’s just the right amount of pressure on his denim-trapped dick. He can feel the line of Billy’s own cock bump against his own when he pushes hard enough. He could fucking weep. It’s almost too much—too good. Too perfect. What’s he gonna do with himself now that he knows he could be doing this? God, how’s he ever gonna jerk off when this—when Billy… oh fuck-!

His orgasm hits him like a goddamn freight train. The switch on his brain had gone off and it didn’t even have the courtesy of letting him know!

Eddie’s jaw drops open, mid-kiss, and he pants—moans—into Billy’s mouth. His hips go stiff, stuck in its lifted position, trying to drive upwards into Billy as hard as he can. He can feel himself shake all over as the waves crash over him, one after the other in quick succession, nearly whiting out his vision. He shuts his eyes as he finally comes down on the other side of it, releasing a choked-sounding exhale.

He goes limp. Boneless. Buzzing and tingling and vibrating all over. Waits for the feeling of mortification to overtake him. It should be here in 3… 2…

“Did you just…?” Billy asks, lifting his own hips to examine the scene of the crime. Eddie imagines the wet spot steadily growing on the front of his jeans, a little off to the left, is pretty hard to miss.

“Holy shit, you did,” Billy chuckles, slightly awed sounding, “you just creamed your fuckin’ pants.”

Eddie whimpers. The sharp contrast of absolute bone-deep humiliation paired with the fluttery, intensely content feeling he's still got working its way through his nervous system is enough to make his head spin.

“Sorry.” Eddie blinks his eyes open.

Eddie didn’t think it was possible for Billy to look any more smug than he did before, but somehow, he’s achieving the impossible.

“Don’t be,” Billy insists, a chuckle still at the edge of his words. He grunts a little as he rolls off of Eddie and drops down onto his back. Taking up his previous position of laying shoulder to shoulder next to each other. “I take it as a compliment.”

It’s kinda sweet of him. Because what happened was embarrassing. No two ways about it. Shooting off like that, like Eddie’s some horn dog who can’t control himself?

But, well, if the boot fits…

Billy reaches down and roughly adjusts himself before sitting up. Gentle touches all used up for Eddie, apparently. Then he lifts his ass just enough that he can slide a hand behind him to retrieve a crumpled-looking box of Marlboro reds. Shakily, Eddie sits up too, engaging muscles that still feel jello-like.

Billy knocks out a cigarette and puts it between his lips. Then he knocks out a second one, and without asking, puts it in Eddie’s mouth. Billy leans forward, and Eddie mirrors him—still just trying to keep up—moving until the ends of their cigarettes line up. Billy ignites his lighter, temporarily blinding them both, but he holds it in front of them, and they inhale in tandem.

Smoke fills Eddie’s lungs. The familiar, soothing burn in his throat makes him feel a little more solid. Present. It makes what just happened all the more bewildering.

They smoke in silence.

Well, except for the music from his cassette still humming from the speakers. Billy mumbles something about loving a certain drum solo, but other than that, it’s crickets. It goes on like this until their cigarettes are half their original size and Eddie finally grows a pair.

“What about you?” He murmurs around his dart.

Billy exhales a stream of smoke out of his nose, looking like a sick ass dragon before he answers, “What about me?”

Eddie flicks his chin towards Billy’s general direction. “You wanna get off too?”

Billy just snorts and shakes his head, like Eddie had said something prosperous. “Nah.”

A pit forms in the center of Eddie’s gut. Souring any of the leftover post-nut happy chemicals that were still rolling around his noggin. That sting of rejection. The knowledge that Billy doesn’t actually want someone like Eddie touching him. Like Billy’s itching to go take a shower and wash all the Eddie-cooties off of him, before heading back to his actual life. Like being with Eddie is something embarrassing. It’s a sinking fucking feeling, one he knows no post-high buzz or cigarette is going to touch. Sometimes Eddie forgets that he’s just a detour. Never anyone’s destination point.

“Maybe next time.” Billy mumbles, so low that Eddie almost misses it entirely. He finishes his cigarette before stuffing the butt of it into one of the many makeshift ashtrays Eddie’s got kicking around back here. Then he starts making his way to the back doors, slipping out into the Indiana night.

Next time.

The words echo in Eddie’s head. Bounce off the walls, does couple of cartwheels, spins. The letters get all scrambled up before he’s able to make sense of them.

Next time.

“Pleasure doing business with you, California.” Eddie hollers out a split second before Billy can close the door.

A half-smile forms on that Cupid’s bow-tipped mouth. Pretty as a picture. How did Eddie never notice before? And how’s he supposed to think about anything else?

“See you around, Eddie.” He purrs, knows exactly what he’s doing, Eddie’s sure of it—then slams the door shut between them. He’s engulfed in darkness again. His eyes are back to their unadjusted state, while specks of nothing flit across his blackened vision. He gnaws on his bottom lip to keep the laugh that’s threatening to bubble up from his chest at bay.

Next time.

—

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[psychoticallykind]

He Was Learning

"Thankful" - Jegulus Microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - 1,439 words

--------------------------------------------------------------

To be fair, Regulus had never claimed to be good at communication.

In fact, the only thing he had clearly communicated so far was that he was terrible at communicating. But James seemed to have an abundance of communication skills, of which Regulus was equally intimidated, irritated, and thankful. James had told him that it was alright, and they could learn together.

But now, when Regulus was snapping and overwhelmed and glaring at his boyfriend, it seemed a lot less alright. Regulus was half-convinced that James was about to break up with him, and that fear made everything more intense.

"If you don't want me there, then you can just say it. You don't have to make up some stupid story!" Regulus accused.

"I'm not -" James broke off and took a deep breath. When he spoke again, his voice was calmer. "Reg, love, I'm not making up a story. I would love for you to be there, I just said that you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"You said, 'I know you don't like these types of things, you don't have to come with me tonight'," Regulus crossed his arms. "Which is just another way to say 'I don't want you there, but I don't want to say that because it'll hurt your feelings'."

James shook his head with a helpless look. "Why would it mean that? Why wouldn't I want you to come with me? That doesn't make any sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Regulus argued. "And I already know it, so don't try to make me feel stupid or paranoid here! I know what you're thinking!" He wrapped his arms tighter around himself, blinking back tears. "I know I'm not sociable or friendly or nice to people. I know I'm awkward and they don't like me and then you have to spend the whole night telling people to be nice and that I'm 'not really like that', but I am! I am like that, I'm like this, and I'm sorry it's so terrible that you don't want me around your friends anymore!"

The tears were a lost cause. He elected to close his eyes, chest heaving as he tried not to fall apart any more than he already was.

He'd been thinking about this all day. That stupid conversation James had with Sirius - 'Regulus won't have any fun, he'll be too busy judging everyone else.' 'No, he's not like that.'

But he was like that. He was sarcastic and judgmental and he didn't like people, especially dumb people who had too much to drink and couldn't remember what personal space meant.

James hadn't even invited him this time. Regulus wouldn't have known anything about the party if Sirius hadn't brought it up. Because James hadn't invited him.

"Can I touch you?"

Eyes still closed, Regulus tensed at the question. But since James was James, and Regulus always felt safe with James, he nodded.

Soon there were warm hands on his face, gently wiping at the tears. "Do you think you can look at me, please?"

Regulus blinked his eyes open, took one look at the compassion on his boyfriend's face, got overwhelmed, and shut them again. "No."

There was a soft laugh. "Alright." The hands traveled down to his arms and gently urged them apart so that his hands were held in James's. "Regulus. I know that you're not sociable or outgoing. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you, and if I thought for one second that you would want to go to the party or that you would enjoy it, I would have brought it up."

Regulus pressed his lips together in an attempt to not cry anymore. He managed to nod, but didn't trust his voice enough to speak.

"I like you. I know you. I'm not hoping or expecting you to be anything other than what you are," James said. Sincere, always so sincere.

Another nod.

Regulus stepped back, managing to open his eyes and glance at James as he forced his composure into place. "Thank you. I understand, I was just - I don't know what I was." He found a wall to stare at and focused on keeping his tone even. "It was thoughtful, James, thank you."

James was being so sweet, he was being ridiculous, and he needed to pull it together before James really did break up with him. "You should probably get ready to go, though. It's almost nine."

"Regulus."

"I'll just see you tomorrow -"

"Regulus." James stepped in front of him. "I'm not going to the party."

Regulus stared at him. "What?"

"I'm not going," James repeated. He watched Regulus's expression carefully for a few seconds. "Is that why you're upset? You thought I was going without you?"

The question made something hurt in his chest. "No." Regulus shrugged, looking away. "I don't care what you do." He turned away again. "In fact, I want you to go. Take a break from my horrible compan- James!"

His eyes widened as he was spun around, and suddenly he was faced with dark curls and compassion and hazel eyes he'd grown so fond of.

James offered him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, love, but if you shut down on me now you'll be miserable all week."

"I'm not," Regulus lied. "Because I don't care about this stupid party, and I don't care about you all that much, either."

The words were too sharp, too cold. Worse than he'd intended.

But James didn't flinch. "Well, I care about you. So take a deep breath for me."

Regulus rolled his eyes, but he did take a deep breath.

"Thank you." James ran his hands up and down Regulus's arms, adding grounding pressure. "Now let's say that hypothetically, you did care about me. And you maybe cared about the party."

"I wouldn't care about the party," Regulus grumbled.

"Okay," his boyfriend nodded. "Let's say that you cared about me going without you, then. How would you feel about that?"

Oh, he hated that. Feelings. Emotions.

"Hypothetically?" He checked. When James nodded, he shrugged, looking away. "I don't know. Bad, maybe."

James didn't say anything. He didn't need to - they'd done this a few times, and Regulus knew what that look meant.

What kind of bad? Can you tell me about it?

"I hate you," he informed James.

James smiled a little. "I can work with that."

"Hmph." Regulus shrugged again. "I don't know. Just bad. Bad like anyone would feel, I guess. No one likes being left behind."

"Is that what it felt like?" James asked gently. "Like I was leaving you behind?"

Regulus flinched, biting his lip with enough force to almost split the skin in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. "No."

Left behind.

Left.

He'd been so scared.

"Oh, love." James pulled him forward as he lost the battle, and he melted into the hug, sobbing quietly into James's shoulder as James rocked them back and forth. "I'm not leaving. I didn't mean to keep the party from you, I just didn't think about it. I wasn't planning on going, we've both had a long week and I knew you wanted a quiet night tonight. You're always wanted, Regulus. I always want you."

It took a while for Regulus to calm down enough to speak. He kept his arms wrapped around James and his head tucked down, breathing in eucalyptus and coconut from the hair potion he'd given James last week. "I don't hate you."

"Well, that's good," James mumbled. He didn't let go, and Regulus was grateful. He wasn't fully together yet, and if James stopped holding him together, he'd probably start crying again. "At this point, I'd hope that maybe you're a little fond of me, yeah?"

Regulus nodded into the fabric. "Maybe."

James laughed, bright and warm. "I'll take it."

Some more deep breaths. Steady rocking. Warmth and steadiness and the red fabric of James's t-shirt. "Do you think I judge everyone?"

"I absolutely do," James confirmed. "And I love listening to you talk about everyone. You're funny and observant and you're right pretty much every time you make a prediction about someone. I adore you, and I love that I get to hear all of your thoughts on the people around us."

"Even the mean ones?" Regulus had to check.

"Even the mean ones."

Regulus thought that over for a bit. "Okay."

James pulled back a little to look at him. "Yeah?"

Regulus nodded, giving James a small but genuine smile. "Yeah."

He didn't have any good communication skills. But he was learning.

Slowly, he was learning.

[promise-you-doie]

From Home | Jung Jaehyun

For all the valentines who wanted Jaehyun to win the cold war between him and Doyoung. I hope this alternative ending fufils your every need.

Under 1k words I think

Jaehyun x reader (Exes to Lovers)

A little angst lots of fluff

Home Series

"Drive safe." You stop at the door, and Jaehyun halts mid-step, turning back to look at you.

"You’re not coming?" he asks, brows furrowing slightly.

You shake your head. "I don’t want to leave him alone."

Jaehyun presses his lips together, the disappointment flickering across his face unmistakable, but he doesn’t push. "Okay," he says softly. He leans in, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. "I’ll call you. Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Jaehyun," you murmur faintly, watching as he walks to his car. The sound of his engine starting and the sight of his taillights fading down the driveway linger in your mind as you close and lock the door.

Dragging yourself upstairs to your bedroom, you exhale deeply, fingers brushing back your hair. The weight of the day settles in your chest like an anchor.

Doyoung is seated on the edge of your bed, his posture tense but his expression unreadable. He glances up as you enter, offering a small, tired smile that you attempt to return.

"Hey," he says softly, tugging lightly on your wrist as you approach, gesturing for you to sit on his lap.

You don’t move, sinking onto the bed next to him instead, your body heavy with exhaustion. There was a time when his touch brought you solace, but now, not even the memory of that comfort could quiet the chaos in your mind.

"How do you feel?" he asks gently, ignoring the growing space between you.

"Tired," you breathe, your fingers brushing through your hair.

"You can talk to me," Doyoung urges, scooting closer.

You inch further away, avoiding his gaze. "I just… I’m really tired, Doyoung. I need to sleep." You sigh, glancing toward the window instead of meeting his eyes. "We both need to sleep."

"Actually," he says, his voice steady but firm, "I think we need to talk." His hand gently turns your face toward him.

You grab his wrist, lowering his hand. "Where do we even start?"

"Let’s start with the fact that you left without saying a word. Did you think ignoring me would make everything disappear?"

"I’m not good at this," you reply, your voice low. "You know that. It’s how we got here in the first place."

"We can’t ignore it either." He moves closer, his presence unrelenting, his gaze sharp.

"I slept with him." The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.

Doyoung freezes, his face unreadable, though a flicker of resignation flashes in his eyes. Like he already knew.

"And I still love him," you add, barely above a whisper, your hands twisting in your lap as you avoid his gaze.

His voice is quiet when he finally speaks. "So… what does this mean?"

"I think you know what it means." You stand, wrapping your arms around yourself as you face him. "I love you, Doyoung. But Jaehyun and I… we—"

"I was there for you when he wasn’t," Doyoung interrupts, rising to his feet and taking your hands in his.

"I know," you say, your voice trembling. "I was broken, and you were there to catch me. I fell in love with you because you gave me what I needed. But I never stopped loving him." You meet his gaze, tears stinging your eyes. "He knows me in ways you don’t. There’s a connection between us that I can’t ignore, no matter how much I tried."

Doyoung nods slowly, his expression softening. The silence between you is deafening. He releases your hands, his own rising to cup your face.

"I love you," he says quietly, his thumbs brushing soft circles against your cheeks. "And I wish you nothing but the best. I’m sorry I couldn’t make us work out.” 

You shake your head, your lips trembling. "Don’t say it like that."

He leans in, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead before pulling you into his arms one last time.

"Goodnight," he whispers as he steps back, his hands falling to his sides before he walks to the door.

You watch him go, his figure disappearing down the hall as he leaves your room.

Something feels different. Maybe it’s relief. Maybe it’s heartbreak. Maybe it’s both. All you know is that tomorrow is going to be one hell of a day, and for now, you just need to sleep.

"Good morning!" Joy chirps the second you answer your phone, her voice bright and bubbly. "So, what happened?"

You press your lips into a thin line. "I should’ve known you had something to do with this."

"I knew exactly what I needed to do to set you straight," she replies smugly, a playful smile lighting up her face on the screen. "So? Spill. How did it go? When are you guys coming back?"

"Umm…" You rub your forehead, the weight of the conversation from last night pressing down on you. "I’m assuming Doyoung probably took the next flight back, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already home."

Joy’s smile falters, confusion creeping onto her face. "What do you mean? Where are you? Why aren’t you together?"

You take a deep breath. "We broke up."

Joy blinks, her expression going blank for a moment, and then she asks, her voice laced with confusion, "Well, yeah. You guys were on a break, I get that. But that was just until you got back to LA. Then you’d get back together, and everything would go back to normal."

"No," you say, shaking your head slowly. "We’re not getting back together. We talked last night, and… seeing him again made me realize it’s not the same anymore."

"What’s not the same?" she presses, her tone a mix of curiosity and disbelief. "You haven’t been apart for that long."

"I don’t care about him the way I care about Jaehyun." Your voice softens, trailing off like you’re ashamed to admit it out loud. "I love Doyoung, but it’s not the same kind of love I have for Jaehyun."

There’s a long pause on the other end of the line. You can practically feel Joy’s internal struggle, and when she speaks again, her words come out slow, like she’s carefully choosing them. "Obviously, I’m not thrilled about this," she says, her voice tight. "But it’s your life, and you’ve got to do what makes you happy. If… Jaehyun’s who makes you happy," she falters, unable to say his name without a moment's hesitation, "then I won’t stand in your way."

"Thank you," you say, a genuine smile breaking across your face.

"You’re still coming back, though, right?" Joy asks, her tone a little lighter now.

"Yes, I’m definitely coming back," you assure her with a nod. "I can’t stand another day in Connecticut."

"Good," she says, perking up. "I missed you so much. I’m giving you the biggest hug when you get here."

"I missed you too, Joy," you reply, your voice soft with emotion. "You have no idea."

"Well," she says with a sigh, "I’ve got to run, but… I love you. I’ll see you when you get here, okay?"

"Love you too," you reply just before the call ends.

Not a second later, your phone buzzes with a text from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun: I’m outside. 

You rush to your window, and sure enough, Jaehyun is standing next to his parked car. A smile creeps onto your face as you take a deep breath and head to the door.

“You’re early,” you say, opening it to greet him.

He shrugs lightly, his gaze meeting yours. “You didn’t answer my call last night. I couldn’t sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” you say softly, shoving your hands into your pockets. “I was so tired, I just passed out.”

Jaehyun’s eyes flick to your bedroom window before returning to yours. “So… is he here?”

You shake your head. “No. He left last night.”

His jaw tightens slightly, but he nods. “I’m guessing you two talked.”

“We did.” You pause for a moment, then say it outright. “We’re not getting back together.”

The corner of Jaehyun’s mouth lifts, his dimples deepening as his smile widens. “Thank god,” he says, stepping closer and leaning down to press a firm kiss to your lips.

You smile against him, your heart skipping a beat as you pull back slightly.

“So… we’re still on for LA?” he asks, his voice hopeful.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” you tease, grinning before leaning in for another kiss.

1 month later 

You step into the empty apartment, Jaehyun’s hand clasped softly in yours. Your heels click against the smooth hardwood floor, the sound echoing in the silence. With each step, you feel the weight of the new chapter you’re about to begin, the new memories you’ll make. Jaehyun’s fingers are warm against yours, and the quiet intimacy of the moment wraps around you like a soft blanket.

As you walk through the space, your mind starts to drift. You imagine staying up late on the couch together, laughing through cheesy movies. You picture cooking meals in the kitchen, Jaehyun at the stove while you chop vegetables beside him. You can almost hear the crackle of the vinyl player as it spins your favorite songs, the two of you slow dancing around the room with no care for time.

You think about mornings—waking up next to him, your feet tangled in the sheets, the sunlight streaming through the windows. You imagine the little arguments over the thermostat, his warm hand on your back as you work at your desk, the quiet moments that will fill the walls with life.

This apartment, this space, is where all of your dreams will come true. It’s where you’ll build your home.

Turning on your heel, you walk backward, your fingers still intertwined with Jaehyun’s. He watches you, a small smile on his lips.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks, his voice soft and steady.

You smile, leaning in closer to him, your lips brushing against his cheek as you speak. “I’m thinking about how much I love you,” you say, your heart swelling at the simple truth of it.

His eyes soften as he leans down to kiss you, gentle and slow, like he’s savoring the moment. “I’m thinking about how I made the right decision,” you murmur, kissing him again, your lips lingering on his.

You pull back, meeting his gaze. “I’m thinking about how I can’t imagine this without you.” Another kiss.

Jaehyun pulls you closer, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. “And I’m thinking about how I’d choose you again and again and again,” you whisper, your heart racing as he presses his lips to yours once more.

Jaehyun’s smile is bright, his hands warm as he lifts you off your feet, kissing you deeper, spilling all the love he couldn’t give you while you were apart. You laugh softly against him, and before you know it, you slide off him, grabbing his hand and tugging him toward the window.

The city sprawls out before you, Los Angeles glittering below like a sea of stars. Jaehyun stands behind you, his arms slipping around your waist as he rests his chin on your shoulder. You lean back into him, the rhythm of his heartbeat against your back steady and comforting.

For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You’ve finally made that little girl inside of you proud. You’ve achieved all of the dreams you had when you were eighteen—your dream apartment, your life in LA, and the man who has always been there for you, right by your side.

You tilt your head slightly, looking up at him. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jaehyun kisses your cheek, his lips soft against your skin. “There’s no other way,” he says, his voice full of certainty.

The end for real this time.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hey I saw your post and honestly this is my first time making a request. How about arcane characters with a cat like reader? Idk it's just a thought that came (sorry if that's a bit weird)

Dunno whether this answers your request like you imagined. Also probs shit fire time writing for some of these characters.

Viktor found your cat like personality quite interesting and humorous if he wasn’t within the lab, working with things that normally didn’t capture your interest, unless they glowed of course.

Other than that it felt as though you were intentionally acting up in his lab for a reaction, like a cat would gauge the reactions of their owners before pushing a glass off the table. That’s how Viktor often felt with you

Then he has to keep an eye on you to make sure you didn’t touch anything dangerous because you were captivated by its light.

‘No, it’s dangerous and could hurt you my dear.’ He so often warms you as he guides your hand away when he felt it was dangerously close to what he was working with. Your mind didn’t head his warning, only the fact that there was a shinny object in the laboratory and it was the only thing you could focus on.

‘If so dangerous, why is it shining as though it wants me to touch it then?’ You responded, daring to touch the object once more and Viktor swore you either knew what you were doing and playing him for a fool, or you had no self preservation skills within your entire body to fight back against your urge to touch a dangerous foreign object.

It’s literally a stand still between the two of you and one that happens far too often that Viktor knows that this was all part of your plan, and unfortunately for him he falls for it almost always. He watches you while you watch him before doing something rash, making think you’ve actually touched the dangerous object, only to look at you unamused when you smiled at him mischievously as you wiggled your unharmed fingers at him.

This often leads you to being banned from the lab for pulling a stunt like that, however this was more for your safety and for him to calm his racing heart. You’ll kill this poor man with your antics but he wouldn’t want you any other way, especially when you cuddled up to him for warmth and sleep there.

It soothes him just as much as it soothes you.

Ekko found himself often wondering where it was you went sometimes.

He sees you in once place and then you disappear the next, returning to base only when you felt it necessary of you to do so, illusive and vague of where you’ve been it was often a bit frustrating. You could’ve been in serious danger for all he was aware and when he confronts you about this behaviour of yours, you’d only shrug and say:

‘Where it is a go on my own time isn’t something you should waste time worrying over.’ Before leaving to go elsewhere within the base and lounge against one of the trees thick and sturdy branches, eyes closed in content as you softly drift off into a light nap.

How the fuck you got up there, he’ll never know other than the fact that you managed to get up there in the first place with effortless ease.

Ekko’s nickname for you was either kitty or something along the lines of a cat based pun. You hated all of them equally but Ekko only feels more vindicated when you only proven his perception of you right whenever you displayed a trait that was common amongst cats. Whether that’d be silently judging everyone from your perch way up high, or lounging in his bed, more specifically where he had laid moments prior, feeding off of the warmth that lingered there or otherwise Ekko would find humour in you cat like traits because they were the things he loved the most.

(In a timeline where they actually have phones I can imagine him sending you cat memes and saying ‘this you?’ Or ‘I found your relative’ he thinks he’s funny, and he is but you won’t admit it out of petty pride)

However the one thing that you could always hold over Ekko’s head was the fact that you could silently manoeuvre your way into a room without him knowing and managing to catch him off guard. Ekko didn’t find it particularly funny but he lets up eventually and admits that it was kinda funny that you managed to take him by surprise. This was why you were more suited to missions heavily requiring a person with an abundance of stealth and agility.

‘Always landing on your feet aren’t you?’ He’d tease but you would let it slid as you shrugged your shoulders and reply. ‘What can I say? It kinda comes with the territory don’t you think?’

‘You sure you weren’t a cat in your past life or something?’ She would ask as she raised a brow at you as you cuddled into her side, much like a cat would when in they wanted to leech off is the warmth of a human.

‘No, why you ask?’ You say as you began to close your eyes, her warmth blanketing you almost immediately, and becoming increasingly sleepy.

‘You act like one for starters with how lazy you are.’ She pointed out and you’d only scoff at her, resting your head on her shoulder, having become too comfortable with your current position to even be bothered to move.

‘I’m not lazy, I’m merely taking advantage of the beauty that is power naps.’ You defend yourself and it was Sevika’s turn to scoff, having heard this excuse countless times before, and it never stopped her from continuing to compare your personality to that of a common house cat.

She disliked it at first, finding it weird and annoying at the fact that you didn’t seem all that bothered with the ongoings of Zaun, instead favouring to rest in high places that provided warmth or close to it and watching everyone with clear judgement within your eyes. However that judgment did end up saving her from time to time, not that she’d ever admit to this, as she was confident in her own abilities to smell a bitch from a mile away.

Though the more as time passed she grew to find it somewhat easier to deal with, though you cuddling up to her for warmth did put her off now and then, affection wasn’t commonplace in Zaun; so forgive her for not exactly taking to it immediately. Though each time you did cuddle into her side, her urge to create distance between you dwindled, from Perivale shoving you away from her, to slowly accepting that this was her life now.

‘Sure, that’s a hell of a way to avoid saying that you’re lazy.’ Sevika smirks when you glared at her, clearly insulted by this, before moving off of her to go rest elsewhere on the bed you shared and making sure your back was towards her in an effort to show your disagreement with her statement. ‘Not. Lazy. I just like napping.’ You retorted.

‘Yeah, sure keep telling yourself that, I’m sure it’ll be true one day.’ Sevika jokes and your shoulders only deflate more, knowing you’ll never win this war with Sevika when her mind is made up. She’s always in the right in most cases.

Mel is all too familiar with your cat like traits that nothing you do is out of the ordinary to her.

She finds humour and amusement in you participating in things commonly associated with felines. A human cat is what you were in her eyes as you slept the easiest you’ve ever slept when besides her, her presence was calming and was more then enough to have you reduced to a relaxed state before succumbing to sleep.

She just had that effect on you and you loved it as much as she does as she got to run her hand down your back.

‘You’re practically purring.’ She teases.

‘It’s not my fault you know exactly what makes me melt.’ You replied as you smiled up at her, never having gotten use to having this absolute goddess of a woman bless you with her smile, her heart, her everything.

Mel smiles softly. ‘You don’t exactly made it much of a challenge.’ She says as she watched the way you practically leaned in towards her touch, eyes closed in content with a smile spread across your face that she swore your nonexistent tail would be swishing from side to side. She has been in this position countless times before and yet it never gets old with how content she felt when moments like these between you and her freely exist within her mind.

You don’t exactly make it hard for her not to love you like she did, it came to you as easy a breathing as that’s how quick you were to fall for her, almost as if it was as though you were breathing; Easy, effortlessly and natural.

‘How can I when you read me so effortlessly and without fail?’ You replied back in almost a purr, a mischievous smile spread wide across your lips, ‘I shouldn’t need to hide myself from my lovers eyes, for she knows me all too well.’ You add. Another thing Mel adored was your cunning but cautious mind and the way you seemed oddly too relaxed for some, watching those very same individuals like they were merely mouses that squeaked about their freedom; like you were being amused by rather was being said in meetings as though you knew something they didn’t.

You were like the Cheshire Cat, often times speaking in riddles that only she herself understands.

Mel kisses the tip of your nose. ‘You smile like the cat that caught the canary,’ she says as she pulls away. ‘Learning more about you is more interesting and intriguing than the last.’

‘Then I hope I stay that way for a long while.’ You said, smirking when you felt her kiss your lips.

[lilacxquartz]

CHASING HUMANITY • kenjaku × fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • << previous chapter • next chapter >> • chapter directory/more series

summary: finally getting closer with kenjaku, the experience leaves you both more lost than ever before… until it doesn’t.

a/n: the next one will be an origin flashback chapter which will be extra long :)

Chapter 7. Vulnerability

Kenjaku allowed you to move over him, giving you access to straddle over his hips all the while you tried to steady yourself. As you fumbled with your clothes, he did the very same with his robe, biting back all sorts of teasing remarks that threatened to slip right out.

His palms pressed parallel against the sides of your thighs, guiding you where you needed to go which he thought was a helpful addition until he was met with a light smack from your hand upon his own. Furrowing his brows, Kenjaku spoke up with a confused voice, “What are you doi—”

Only to be cut off by you, “—I got this,” you interjected, trying to find your own way, “in fact, your help isn’t necessary,” you spoke as you wiggled right over him.

Kenjaku could only narrow his eyes in slight annoyance, choosing to adopt a joking sort of tone, “Then speed it up, you’ve been fretting on top of me for a good few minutes now,” he huffed, blowing his hair in a pouting sigh off of his face in a fit of light-hearted frustration.

“Look, I’m figuring it out, okay?” you muttered back, fully intent on swatting his hands away again and again, anchoring the pair flat against the sofa where his limbs had no influence. “And keep those things to yourself.”

“Ah,” he scoffed, “but how can I resist when you don’t know what you’re doing?” he teased, drinking in the sight of your dishevelled form, taking note of how your bra was barely on, letting slip a glimpse of your breasts. “I’m just greedy by nature, you know. I can’t help but let my hands explore.”

Finally settling over his hardened length, however, you found your balance at last and attempted to move, rolling your hips rather stiffly as he drove himself into you. As he pushed his hips in a lazy rutting sway, you tried to avoid twisting your expression while you adjusted to his girth, knowing that it would only just further inflate his already bloated ego. Slowly though, you started to get the hang of being on top, rather enjoying the sensation.

Kenjaku however, noticing your strained composure, widened his grin into a wolfish, knowing smile that bordered on dripping arrogance. He then returned his hands to feeling around your body, brushing his explorative touch to dab up at your skin, stamping his way up to grab and cup your breasts, tweezing your nipples between his pinched fingers.

“What did I just tell you?” you gasped in response, finding yourself quickly breathless while pulling away those pesky hands, rooting down his wrists against the sofa like before.

In return, he took in the sight of you riding him once more, enjoying it for a moment while resisting the urge to show you just how easy it would be to overpower you, resigning himself to feeling the coarse fabric of the sofa instead as per your wishes, laying back instead. Kenjaku’s eyes grew half-lidded, enjoying the feel of you moving over him—pushing, straining, and surrendering yourself to the heat of the moment—he ended up bucking up slightly, involuntarily even, unable to deny that he was very much into what was unfolding.

You moved with more heated fervour, grinding your filled cunt over his throbbing cock with more anticipated passion, returning your hands to clamp with need over his shoulders. Your thighs and knees had him locked into place as your form pressed over him, giving him the most intoxicating view, starting to desire a much-needed, perhaps almost violent release.

“Do you know what you’re even doing to me?” he murmured, surprised by his own words before silencing himself, not giving you the chance to respond to him by impaling you with more force as an almost defense mechanism of sorts; pounding up into your hilt with heated intensity, churning himself into your surely bruised core.

Pulling your hair back in his clawing fist, he forced you to clench around him in writhing protest, further silencing any sort of response you could have possibly had in an attempt to regain control of his slipping composure. Feeling absolutely certain that you weren’t going to respond to his fleeting slip of vulnerability however, he eased the pressure and returned you back to your initial position—albeit, leaving you rather breathless.

“What was that?” you panted out, trying to steady yourself.

“Oh that? Nothing. You’re frustrating,” he replied instead, unable to keep his hands off of you, not quite allowing you to reclaim control on top of him so seriously anymore, but feeling lazy with the pursuit at the same time.

“You’re the frustrating one,” you grunted back, pushing yourself over him, finding that you were quickly coming undone over him, like putty in his hands.

Noticing such a thing, he half laughed as he smacked at your thighs with his two hands at the same time, creating a sharp rippling sound. “Getting close, are you?” he teased before moving his palms towards your ass instead, moving you up and down with more vigour—with more direction—biting down grunts of his own as you ground over him, feeling good, almost too damn good.

Kenjaku’s ego took a whole new turn as he felt himself grow hot beneath you; his eyes locked on and intently focused over your messed-up state, enjoying your disheveled appearance a little bit too much. So furiously blushing, bright, and glistening with beading sweaty droplets that rolled against your clammy skin. The quiver of your thighs that trembled involuntarily, making him feel close to a god with the amount of control he had over you—or was it the other way around? He couldn’t quite tell who was more of a mess, especially with how drained you were quickly leaving him.

And, just as you both grew mute enough, an exchange left unspoken yet loud with need—both locked up in your own spurs of vulnerability—the atmosphere became heavily tense. Your breath meshed with his as gasping moans sharply tore out of your lungs, whining as he slammed himself up, milking himself of every last drop of pleasure that brewed aggressively within him—his own breath stolen clean out of his throat—just barely stuttering the final thrust out. And, just as he emptied himself, he fell back onto the sofa, letting go of you involuntarily, unable to hold on.

“Fuck,” he seethed, staring at the ceiling for a moment before pulling out and wondering just what exactly that whole thing was.

You too, slowly sat up in completely silence, looking (and feeling) just as equally spent, glancing down your thighs as everything else trickled out.

Kenjaku sighed again, running his hands over his face and through his hair, still lost on just what that was exactly. It used to be so easy to lie and deliver sweet nothings to people, to appoint sweet, meaningless promises of just anything at all and yet he couldn’t do a single thing but lock up and push you away in case you caught a glimpse of something he wasn’t ready to share just yet, or ever.

Quickly getting up, he mumbled something about “needing to clean up” and left you on the sofa as you remained oddly quiet, not complaining for a single beat at all, waiting until he was done so you too, could recollect yourself.

Oddly enough, you didn’t feel too much after the exchange. During the moment, sure, but after… not so much. Perhaps you were stuck on romanticising what sex and the aftermath could have been in your head, as a result feeling rather disappointed when it happened and then ended in a flash. Such a glimpse of indifference upon his return left him looking and feeling confused, because, if you enjoyed your time, then why were you being just as cold as he was to you?

(And why did it hurt?)

Could it be that you were more alike than he wanted to admit?

~~~

As you later slept, the events that unfolded before otherwise kept him up longer than he wanted to admit. The next day had to be productive as a result, whether he wanted it to be or not, at least to get him out of the funk of whatever this whole thing was. He needed to be busy; not only as a distraction, but to finally throw off the trail that your former cop boyfriend was likely following, but also, to just change the scenery, because just why was that look on your face haunting him so damn much?

At some point too, you got up to presumably use the bathroom, and what with him being awake, he quietly pushed himself off of the sofa and followed you ever so quietly, lingering just outside of the door and rather than letting you go back to sleep and moving on, Kenjaku decided to push his luck with figuring you out, because just what were you playing at, being like this?

You, in your full state of indifference, blinked up at him and then tried to push past him but found that he didn’t let you and instead, walked you back into the bathroom, pushing your back up against the tiled wall, hoping to catch a glimpse of truth in your stare—as if trying to understand humanity through your eyes.

There was something about you that was driving him crazy that he couldn’t quite decipher, so for you to do this again and again, had to be something that he would push out of you, or at least try to understand what your angle was.

“You know,” Kenjaku spoke up after a while, tilting his head off to the side with a narrowed stare, “I could easily kill you right now—it wouldn’t make me break a sweat, it would be like crushing a bug. Just one squeeze of your throat and you’d be gone,” he explained in a cold tone, although there was a hint of something you couldn’t quite pick up on laced just beneath it, “you’re so trusting, aren’t you?”

“I know,” you yawned back, responding in a way that he didn’t want you to. He wanted to scare you—to get a rise out of you—but you were being frustrating. So fucking frustrating.

“And that doesn’t bother you?” he prodded, tracing a fingertip along your pulse point, gently pushing against it. “It would be so easy to just… end you, right here and right now, and your response to such a claim is just ‘I know’...? Do you even care?”

Still feeling a bit tired and out of it, you murmured out another response, lacking your usual filter, “I know your history, somewhat. It’s like a constant reminder in my head that I’m travelling around with a murderer, so why should it be surprising to me that you have the potential to turn on me?”

Kenjaku simply scoffed, easing his grip on your throat somewhat. “I can see your point, but you also didn’t answer my question. Do you even care? Or is your shtick that you actually don’t?”

“I’m unsure,” you admitted.

He hummed, taking a step back from you. “How… curious. In that case, maybe I do want to keep you around and see where this goes, after all.”

“Wasn’t that what you were doing before?” you asked, starting to feel a little confused.

Kenjaku stared at you for a hot second, regarding you with an unreadable expression, perhaps annoyance. “You shouldn’t have trusted me so blindly when I told you that I was going to spare you in the beginning, but now I find you interesting enough to keep around. I’ll admit it. You’ve grown on me and… I want to see where this leads beyond a simple curiosity, which means it would be a waste to let you die so soon—too soon, even.”

Feeling slightly more awake, you found the conversation rather peculiar yourself. “And you’re sure that you’re not just seeing something that doesn’t exist within me?” you attempted to call out, driving your confrontation forward to meet at a certain point, feeling a little suspicious. “Because you’re not that slick either, my guy—I mean, really? An older man who feels like something is exciting about keeping up with a younger woman about ten years his junior? Would you feel the same way if I matched your age?”

He let out an almost offended scoff, crossing his arms. “Excuse you? Your age has nothing to do with any of this, don’t twist things,” he huffed out, seeming almost disappointed in your aimless accusation, “in fact, I would even prefer if you were closer to my age actually…” he admitted, letting himself trail off a little, “it felt a bit when we…”

All you could do was blink.

“...Nevermind,” he sighed, getting himself back on track, “my point is, regardless of your age, is that you’re interesting to keep up with because you’re weird,” he emphasised on the last word, letting it hang in the air, “but don’t even think that for a second that I actually enjoy these little mood-swings of yours, they’re not cute or quirky or endearing—none of that—they’re just simply… annoying.”

“You’re annoying,” you bit back, rolling your eyes, feeling a bit hurt, although you wouldn’t admit it. It wasn’t like you could control your feelings.

Kenjaku rolled his eyes back too, wearily sighing a beat later at what he got himself into. “We’re both annoying then,” he murmured, reeling you closer for some much-delayed aftercare, cursing at himself internally for not being able to sleep properly if you were feeling off for whatever reason, “now,” he added, tugging you back to the main part of the studio along with him, “come back to sleep, will you? I’m fully expecting you to keep up with me tomorrow or so help us both.”

“What’s tomorrow?” you asked, trying to push him off you, which made him hug against you even tighter in retaliation.

“Why, we’re catching up with some acquaintances of mine and biding some time, of course,” he announced as he guided you into the bed this time, fully intending to share it with you, finding that perhaps what he said in the bathroom still stood—he could kill you at any moment, but he wouldn’t—maybe he just liked having that power over you, “I have a feeling that they might be more scared of you than you of them, though.”

“Am I that unsettling?” you muttered into the mattress, just seconds away from falling asleep.

He hummed, shrugging a little. “Only sometimes.”

“I guess I must be if I managed to spook you of all people,” you considered.

“Yeah, that’s the worrying part—because just who knows what you’ll become if I keep encouraging this sort of thing?” he asked with a deep sigh, letting his head hit back against the pillow as he pulled you a little closer to him to keep you right where he wanted you, “now go to sleep, I won’t tolerate you complaining that you’re tired tomorrow.”

“Whatever,” you scoffed as you felt your eyes flutter shut, just barely catching onto him muttering around what sounded like a “goodnight” to your ears, finally however feeling like something was moving again, because now you didn’t feel quite as empty as before.

Does that mean you do actually like him, then?

That would mean he’s in trouble if so, because you weren’t about to let the first person you had ever liked in a long time go so easily—in fact, you were about to do everything you could to ensure that he was just as stuck with you as you were with him.

(Even if it meant getting rid of your ex for good, no matter what it took.)

[angellissy]

Take my breath away

Rupert Campbell Black x Taggie O'Hara

I binged Rivals and developed an obsession, so here is my poor attempt of portraying these lovestruck idiots. Set sometime after episode 9 but with no real mention of what happens in the last episode. I hope you enjoy!

Her hands were soaked in the soapy water where she had been washing plate after plate for what seemed like hours. Whenever she thought she was finally done making the food, cleaning the tables, or washing the dishes, her mother always had a new task waiting for her. Taggie was fucking exhausted. Her mother didn’t really care, she did not even seem to notice that she was driving her daughter into complete and utter exhaustion. This was not new to Taggie, this had been her life for as long as she could remember. Sometimes she imagined herself telling her mother to bugger off and do something by herself for once, but then the weight of guilt came crashing down and Taggie forgot every notion of ever standing up to her mother. 

She wiped a soapy hand across her brow and let out a heavy sigh, the same exact one that Gertrude used to let out when she plopped down in the hallway after a long stroll in the woods. Another sigh, a softer one, escaped her now as she thought of her companion. The one gift from her parents that had felt like a gift for her. Taggie had been twelve and struggling in school, her dyslexia making her lag behind her classmates who teased her relentlessly for it. “Tag-tag taggie” they used to call her, playing on the fact that she choked on her words and involuntarily had to repeat them. She barely uttered a word when she got home, terrified that she would get the same teasing treatment there. Her dad had been the one to notice the way she had started curling into herself and how her breath caught in her throat whenever he asked about her day at school. His parents had hoped that caring for a dog might make her more confident and sure of her abilities, but most of all Gertie had become her most trusted companion. 

She thought of her now, the scruffy dog currently sat outside in the dark, forbidden by Maude to be in the house when they had guests. Taggie made a mental note to give Gertie those lamb treats she adores, she deserved it after an evening all alone in the dark. Though perhaps Gertrude had drawn the longest straw, a night alone and away from the maddening crowd her mother called friends sounded like an absolute delight. 

Her thoughts were interrupted when her father came barging into the kitchen, slamming a box of Venturer posters on the countertop. 

“Hard at work eh?” Her father asked teasingly as he nodded at her frozen frame. Taggie looked down and realized that her wandering thoughts had given her the inability to do two things at once. 

She started “Oh I was just.-” but before she could even get the words out he interrupted her “Look we just got this new shipment of Venturer posters and I thought that you could head out tomorrow and hand them out at the town fair?” 

She was not sure if she had nodded or not, but her father beamed and clapped down on her shoulder “I knew you’d always be up to help!”

Her lips turned into a small but tired smile at that, for how could she say no now? It was not like she had anything else to do. However she never really got to figure out what else she could do when her parents were always finding tasks for her. She didn’t mind helping out, she just wished they would actually ask. 

She looked down at the pile of still dirty dishes in the sink,  let out another heavy sigh, and was just to start again when another presence entered the kitchen. Her back was turned but she knew without looking who it was. His energy was so palpable to her, it always felt as if it tugged at her, urging her closer to him. Despite not seeing him, Taggie O’Hara would know Rupert Campbell Black in any room. She wasn’t quite sure she wanted to turn around, their last meeting in this kitchen had ended with his lips on hers. It wasn’t that it had been bad, quite the opposite actually. She hadn’t known before that a kiss could be like that, passionate and sweet. He had savored it, seeming unable to tear himself away, and when he did his chest had heaved and they had been so close she could feel the way his heart beat. His hands had been tangled into her hair and hers had been under his suit jacket, itching to touch his skin. They stood like that for a while, seemingly in a trance, and only backed away from each other when Maude’s shrill laugh sounded from not too far away. The last thing Taggie wanted was for her mother to find her and Rupert, she had a knack for turning a nice thing ugly and Taggie desperately wanted for this to be a nice thing. 

Rupert cleared his voice and she turned around, feeling how her cheeks turned rosy just by the sight of him leaning against the door frame. 

“Hello” She said a little uncertainly wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. His lips curved upwards as he returned her greeting. His smile fell a little when he took in the dark circles under her eyes and how she kept blinking rapidly as if forcing herself to stay awake. “You alright there darling?” He took a few steps closer and she backed into the kitchen sink, feeling it slowly making an indent in her lower back. “Y-yes all good” He raised an eyebrow at her but did not question her, knowing that it was quite impossible to get her to admit defeat. 

“Well I was coming to ask you a question, I was wondering if you possibly would join me going to the city on Saturday? I am there for official MP business-” He winked at her and then continued “but thought that perhaps we could take the opportunity to promote Venturer.” 

“I’d love to!” She said, barely letting him finish which made his cheeks twitch ever so slightly. Her pinks turned a darker shade of red as she reconsidered her quick reply and she quickly looked down at her forest green socks to avoid the intensity of his stare.

“Splendid darling! Now let’s get you to bed, shall we?” Taggie looked at him in surprise, opened her mouth to say something then closed it and instead gestured to the dishes. “You don’t need to do everything today, come with me.” It was probably a mix of her tiredness and the slightly authoritative tone in his voice that made her follow him upstairs to her bedroom. With his back turned against her she quickly changed into her red nightdress, she hoped, perhaps a bit devilishly, that it would remind him of their first dance. She cleared her throat and he turned around, at the sight of her he smiled so brightly that she found her smiling with him. 

“Lady in red” He said so softly that she almost missed it. With two long strides, he was in front of her and his hands snaked around her waist. She shivered and felt goosebumps follow his hands. She looked up at him and let her hands travel up from his arms to his face. She gently touched his cheek and he drew a long ragged breath. “I promised myself I wouldn’t find myself with you like this again” 

“I thought you were smart enough not to make pointless promises,” She said a small smile on her lips. “You’re too good for me Tags” Though as he said it she felt his fingers curl against the fabric of her dress, pulling her a little closer. “You’ve changed” She whispered, because it was true. “Not enough” he murmured as he dipped his forehead against hers. She could feel his warm breath against her skin and she swallowed. The nearness of him was driving her mad. She could feel his thumb making circles on the fabric-clad skin of her waist and her hands found themselves traveling down to his neck, she could feel his pulse beneath her fingers. His eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and he let out a soft sigh. “It is enough for me,” She said before pulling him closer by his neck and softly pressing her lips against his. His body tensed for the shortest of moments before he relaxed into her, purely giving in. She savored the taste of him and the small sound he made in the back of his throat when she pressed herself closer. 

She was not sure how much time had passed when he pulled away, eyes glassy and lips swollen. He gave her a small smile as he nodded towards her bed and her eyes widened the tiniest bit, did he mean for them to..? 

A small laugh escaped his throat and he shook his head at her “Gods you will be the death of me, I meant that it was time for you to get some rest” To riled up to say anything Taggie simply nodded and crept under the covers, still looking at him from beneath her lashes. He too was still looking at her, seeming unable to pull his gaze away. He sat down on the edge of her bed and his hand came up to brush away the strand of auburn hair that had fallen in front of her face. 

“You really should be resting more you know” He did not seem quite himself as he uttered the words, gone was the charm and confidence replaced by a tone of concern. Taggie gave him a tired smile and said with a hint of bitterness in her tone “You should tell my parents that.” He nodded as if considering it and the mere thought of him even considering talking to her parents because he cared about her made Taggie’s heart constrict in a way she had never experienced before. She was almost sure she was going to cry. Who was this man who kissed her as if she was the air he breathed, asked her for help when everyone else just took it for granted and, who seemed to genuinely care about her well being? “I am just kidding, I wouldn’t wish for anyone to try telling my mother that she might consider treating me differently, she can be quite vicious you know.” Taggie forced a smile as she said it, but it felt slightly unnatural. He leaned down and brushed a kiss against her temple. “I’d do anything for you. angel” His tone was so serious that she felt completely overwhelmed with emotions. Then all of a sudden his warm presence was removed and he walked away “I’ll pick you up on Saturday.” She did not have time to reply before he was out of her room. She listened to the sounds of his shoes on the gravel outside her window and only closed her eyes when she heard the roaring of his engine driving away. 

Taggie slept more soundly than she had done in ages.

[imagionationstation]

AU in which the mutagen mutates turtles not to an anthropomorphic form, but to a human one. They transform from turtles into human babies and Hamato Yoshi is the only person they had close contact with at the time of their mutation... they get his genes.

Turtles that look like ordinary human boys, the Japanese look like their father. Splinter might even have wanted to leave them on the doorstep of some good family so they could get a better life, but the Krangs were chasing them. And Splinter was the only person who could protect them, the only creature these kids had... Despite the fact that they look like ordinary human boys, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo still grow up in the sewers under the loving care of a Rat-Sensei.

THAT’S SUCH A NEAT IDEA ACTUALLY

Like- they can’t be on the surface AT FIRST. But after several years, the Kraang probably gave up on looking. So they could! (Right?)

The prospect that they go to school everyday and then climb into the sewers on their way home. The SHENANIGANS of them trying to pretend that they have a human dad. Spreading so many rumors that people just assume that Yoshi exists and did all these things that he absolutely is not doing. (Not huge things but like. Talking to someone’s parent. Getting seen at the grocery store. Dropping the boys at an arcade. Little things no one questions.)

And it comes time for parent-teacher meetings? EVERY. EXCUSE. IN THE BOOK. AND THEN SOME. At some point the teachers just give up trying even though they’d REALLY like to have a conversation with Yoshi about Raph’s love for causing fights and Mikey’s inherent ability for troublemaking (intentionally or not).

But they also got a role model student (Leo) and the A+ student (Donnie) who they’re reluctant to lose so they leave it be.

They meet April and she just starts thinking that they’re actually orphans and treating them weird and not a single one of them has any idea why she stumbles over her words when she talks about her dad. They just think it’s because her mom’s missing/presumed dead so she gets awkward about topics involving parents.

Absolutely NO COMMUNICATION between them.

Then she stalks them home one day. And that goes well.

I am catching a theme with these AUs. NOT A BAD ONE! A good one. As a fellow “what if they were humans?” au plotter, I love me a good human AU. Oh! Oh! If they went from turtles to human, do they ever have turtle instincts? Like, obviously they can no longer duck into shells and do turtle chips, but do they randomly nuzzle? Do they have the urge for turtle piles? Do they enjoy water a strange amount?

Let them be weird!! Let them be outcasts!! (/jk don’t listen to me)

Big ol’ Yoshi boys on their way to cause chaos and rule the world. Does being mutant humans make them stronger than normal humans? I think you mentioned that they were normal humans, but teeeeechnically they’re still mutants. So 👀

[3v60]

His face seemed to flush once more involuntarily as Jester lightly cradled his face and gave him his full attention before he just absent-mindly nodded at the statement of it taking so much out of him. His urge to just listen and do as he was told by the other only growing more and more. His eyes seemed to follow the hand as it left his face. His attention drawing to the panel once more as well.

The fuzzy feeling in his mind just growing with every word The Villain spoke, again he nodded, only really able to understand the words so clearly in his mind he slowly moved his hand to the right-hand side as if to grab something that was out of reach of the other. Something mentally urging him, probing him to give such power to Jester. Could it be an outside influence or not, neither of the two of them would know.

"need... boots... one moment.. doesn't matter what level..."

He said unprompted as he produced a set of chainmail boots from the air, where-ever he was reaching allowed him access to them, to give to the other. It was only natural and fair that he would give his advisor the same power... To anyone else outside of all of this he would appear as if he weren't thinking right. Perhaps they were right, He wasn't in any mindset to be making unprompted and impulsive decisions like this.

The way he saw it was that he could give the same power to Jest, he felt he needed to in all honesty... He wanted to give the same power to them. If Jest needed him to do something he couldn't from his own panel... he could do it himself...

"Think... you would be able to... control weather... control time... make changes without the command blocks... but not big ones... Never got to test with Seawatt... Dunno everything you can do...But I think... those you can do..."

His voice was quiet as he paused every so often to think of the words.

"if.. you want it though... could hide boots... don't have to wear them to have access I don't think... Know you were from fighter level... thought I could give those to hide the netherite trim more..."

He moved slightly to give space to hand the boots to Jester. His body language seemed to grow even more subservient as the time has dragged on. His body moving to be lower than the other as well. As his mind started to repeat three simple words. Listen, Submit, Obey. They were quiet enough for him to hear The Villain though.

He could feel his body start to relax though as he was given the command to rest. Although the feelings of the other were complex as he felt Jester's emotions course through him from saying his name... the playful and commanding nature of it, he could feel his brain growing fuzzier, that feeling linked with the feeling being to obey could have very well blocked the other feelings out. He stayed there momentarily on the ground, kneeling towards The Villain with his hand outstretched with holding the pair of boots.

Little by little as time went on his hand was slowly moving to the ground as the command to rest grew stronger to him. He could feel his body growing heavy as time went by. It was gradual not noticeable at first, but it was in fact still there. Saying his name seemed to only deepen the control over him, and The Parkour God... didn't care. Didn't even notice. This was all but being engrained in his head to be normal. He wanted this feeling to never end. He wanted to be in this position... It felt right to him. To Listen, to obey, and to submit. To do as he was told and when he was told.

🎭 A soft and honeyed noise left the Jester, bringing their free hand up to lightly pat their cheek; attention shifting from the panel for a moment to focus on the god. “My my… you poor thing… thank you for sharing that with me… it must have taken so much out of you, hm pet~?” They drawled softly, their hand still loosely cradling their cheek before sliding away as they turned their attention back to the panel, tail lazily swaying as they listened. The corner of their lips quirked up ever so slightly as they thought over what was said.

“Mmm… I see… so say… you gave some of your power to another, only you and that person would know? Since he can’t see what you do?”

They inquired, mainly thinking outloud since they didn’t need the other to respond right now. Especially since they could see how hard it was for them to do so, despite being a god; seemed like even they could get tired. Jester did wonder just how much of their power could they give so that they would be equal… since if they were equal or slightly more powerful; then the other wouldn’t know about it because they’d have different panels. If they were correct in their thought process. Of course… they also knew they would have to be careful since the last thing they wanted to do was raise anymore suspicion. Since they knew already, people were distrusting and wary of them. Especially with them as God’s advisor.

“You can rest now. You’ve been such a marvellous help to me, Evbo~”

They were curious as to why they still needed Seawatt. Considering what their job had been, it made them interested to know what their job was now. Since creating fake memories was… quite nefarious. It almost made them giggle. Was the other having Seawatt continue that job or did they have a new one now? Regardless, those thoughts and questions would be put aside for now. More focused on how to have the other give them some of their power but in a way that should the other snap out of this… he wouldn’t remember.

[stormbreaker-290]

Shgdjshxbs

Man

How

How the hell is this bingus making me want to write for the first time in two years

I just

Whar

[slavhew]

boys cry. real men weep.