#but just dont go through MONTHS of my stuff and like everything thats a bit annoying sorry hdjkgs im sure you understand

[corpsoir]

btw hi to my hundreds of new followers who are probably all from twitter lmao

we reblog art here !

[steampoweredskeleton]

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Ignore

[harrysgal]

I DIG YOUR CINEMA (4)

harry styles x yn aspiring filmmaker — social media AU

I am actually a little bit nervous about this part, so I hope you enjoy it.

About the smau: yn starts posting videos on youtube and is trying to build a career as a filmmaker. Things are going pretty well for her and she starts getting more attention when she creates content about shows she goes to. She’s also a fan of Harry’s music and some of his fans start getting suspicious when his team starts interacting with her.

Disclaimer: The story it’s set in 2021 and it will follow their relationship through the LOT leg in the US. Since this is nothing but fiction, I will be following some of the real timeline but also adding my own stuff. On top of that, I won’t be basing myself on Harry’s actual posts.

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PART 3 — DENVER // MASTERLIST

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I DIG YOUR CINEMA (PART 4) — THE VIDEO

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liked by bestfriend, anthonypham, mollyjane_x and 59,302 others 

yourinstagram im sorry its taken me so long to show up. i thought time would give me the ability to find some words to say, but as it turns out im much better at telling things through a camera than through a pen (or a keyboard, in this case). when i posted my first video on youtube, all i wanted was to find myself again after finally getting free from a relationship that drained the fun out of me. making movies is something that ive always been passionate about, so i thought — why not? three months later, when i posted my first video at a concert, all i wanted was to tell the story of a woman who, after raising two kids and giving everything she had to make everyone around her happy and safe, finally had the opportunity to make one of her most “innocent” dreams (seeing shania twain) come true. fast forward to this week, as i post my latest video all i want is to tell the story of a man who has the entire world in the palm of his hand and yet lives his life as if he’s merely another ordinary soul on earth. what happens now, and what you do with this story (or with any other ive already told), its not up to me anymore. 

that all being said, thank you harry for trusting me with this story. it wasn’t mine to tell, but you allowed me to do it anyway and i’ll always be grateful for that. so, again, thank you. 

ok i will stop typing now. 

actually, im just gonna add that i hope you all enjoy this video as much as i do (but if you don’t, thats fair, and i’ll accept it just as much) 

ok, now im done :) 

view all 11,073 comments

lookitsnyoh 👑👑👑👑👑 harryfan9 this was so much more than we’ve asked for 🙏🙏🙏 user1 its been almost 24 hours since you posted this video and im still 😲!! YOU’RE INCREDIBLE  user5 absolutely amazing! unexpected, captivating, touching… 10/10! yourbrother Kinda sucks that I don’t even feel like teasing you this time. I’m just proud.

↳ sisterinlaw Printed and framed already. ↳ yourinstagram … i dont even know what to say right now ↳ yourinstagram ＠sisterinlaw i’ll need a copy of that pls 

harryfan your mind is so brilliant im so in love with this and i know i speak for the entire fandom when i say: THANK YOU 😭

↳ harryfan5 no really bc we’re so used to getting practically nothing that she coulve just done anything and we would’ve still died… and yet she gave us THIS?  ↳ harryfan7 yn deserves the best in life period ↳ harryfan54 c’mon… it’s not THAT good

harrystyles 😲 so this was my story you were telling? 

↳ yourinstagram i kept my side of the promise, didnt i? you were supposed to keep yours ↳ harrystyles fair enough. you’re welcome x  ↳ yourinstagram 😌😌😌😌😌 ↳ yourinstagram thank you ↳ harrystyles you’re welcome x ↳ harryfan25 OMFGDSGFUAGFBH ↳ harryfan11 ＠yourinstagram ＠harrystyles sorry guys do you want us to leave you two alone?  ↳ harryfan51 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭  ↳ harryfan17 wdym you kept your side of the promise??? what did you promise????? what is it?????

harryfan10 pls we need more harry content already  user7 Don’t go missing again, we miss you here! 

Sep 9, 2021 •

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liked by yourinstagram, bestfriend, jefezoff and 5,187,031 others

harrystyles I’m honored to say ＠yourinstagram has turned the beginning of this new chapter into a lovely short-movie, one you can watch right now on her youtube channel. 

Thank you Yn for being so caring and respectful about everything and everyone involved in this project. To watch this idea turn into reality has been nothing but inspiring. 

Welcome to the team, it’s too late to back out now. x

view all 203,557 comments

bestfriend this moment is all mine. 20+ years of friendship are FINALLY paying off. 

↳ user3 you’re so unserious i love it fgajdujn ↳ yourinstagram im doing it just for you <3

harryfan5 noooooo I can’t do this my heart can’t take it pls stop 😭😭 harryfan23 I CANT BELIEVE YNS FIRSTS WORDS TO HIM WERE SHUT THE FUCK UP HAHAHAHAHA  annetwist What a wonderful job you’ve done dear ＠yourinstagram 🥰

↳ yourinstagram ❤️ ↳ harryfan54 🙄

harryfan66 who are you and what have you done to the real harry? 🧐

↳ harryfan14 for real tho lmao  ↳ harryfan74 yup. ive been saying it: another strategy just to get a random famous on harrys back. as usual.

harryfan9 NOT HARRY EXPOSING THE FIRST TIME THEY TALKED????

↳ harryfan3 and the fact that HE texted her first???  ↳ harryfan9 pls!!! molly gave me your nUmBeR 🤪🤪

harryfan15 oh you’re so sick for this AHDUAJHDJ  yourinstagram THOSE messages? REALLY???

↳ harrystyles I’ve been explicitly forbidden to post a picture with you so I had to improvise.  ↳ yourinstagram ok but did you also have to conveniently leave my next message out of it? ↳ harrystyles Yes x. 

Sep 9, 2021 •

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PART 5: FROM SAN ANTONIO

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[crushedsweets]

Can you share headcanons or more ninakate drawings? :)

YES I CANNNN!!! ok usual disclaimer, my AU drastically changes both characters!

i'm using this to focus on nina and 'the chaser'! mostly just rambling about how they would connect, thoughts on their relationship, whatever. not very romantic :') naturally I subdue the chaser a lot here

ok so. 'the chaser' isnt really kate, like most HCs go. the chaser is a violent, animalistic pawn of slendy that tears through everything slendy wants it to. she killed lauren, someone kate loved long before she got sick.

and dont get me wrong, nina is not some special exception. however, the chaser targets threats; lauren trying to take the pages. nina isnt a threat(slendy even sees her as an asset), but the chaser will drag her out of the mines by the leg with little care.

toby would escort nina if she's being stubborn about visiting kate. kate keeps telling both of them to stop trying to see her at the mines, saying she'll just come to the cabin more often. but they know she wont, they know she'll just sit and rot if nobody comes and drags her out - effectively leaving her completely isolated and only getting sicker and sicker.

i like the idea of the chaser eventually trusting Toby, and if Nina is always paired with him, she'll eventually be okay with Nina. especially seeing Nina tentatively bring her paper to scribble on, setting down bags of food for the chaser to tear into, water bottles, etc.

ok this is really goofy nobody laugh. you guys know that scene in tarzan where he's like poking at jane, lifting her hair and squeezing her face and stuff? i kinda see the chaser and nina like that.

theyre NEVER left alone together for the first few months, toby doesnt even let the chaser get close to nina, but maybe nina and kate are going on a walk and kate starts getting a headache and looks up and her eyes are glossed over and she hunches over and nina knows thats not kate anymore. nina taking nervous steps back, trying to figure out what she's supposed to do without toby, the chaser stalking forward. nina stumbles back and hits a tree, slides down and covers her head, immediately thinking of the time she caught kate tearing a grown man apart.

im just SO OBSESSED WITH THE CHASER BEING CURIOUS ABOUT NINA. the chaser knows ninas not a threat(+slendy likes nina), she associates nina with toby, and nina is so flashy and clams up so awkwardly. has the chaser crouched in front of a curled up nina, pushing her head back against a tree and tugging at her hoops. peeling off a fake eyelash and cringing at it. trying to bite her acrylics(in which nina yanks her hand away and the chaser stares at her hella pissy.)

really loving the idea of the chaser having a massive ass headache, curled on the floor, incapable of fighting. nina coming along and soothing its hair down and pulling it into a little hug and just sitting there. hurts a little to be squeezed so damn tight by the chaser, but she gets over it. . .

i dont think kate will EVER trust the chaser, but ninas a bit more optimistic. she'll go to the mines without toby now. she's learned to be quiet and gentle doing it, rather than her usual jumping and giggling and squealing. gives both kate AND the chaser time to wake up and come to her.

and ok ninas still totally sick in the head. while the chaser doesnt fully see her as a friend(or girlfriend), more like... a doll. ? a companion? something to pull around and grab and examine. and nina THINKS shes some special exception, she thinks she's so special that the chaser loves her, she loves how fucking terrifying it is while just squeezing her face, loves bragging to Toby and seeing his horrified face when he realizes Nina was left alone with it.

but frankly i am scared for nina cuz she is nowhere near as safe as she thinks she is. i could see kate starting to actively avoid nina. hiding out in the radio tower so nina cant find her, trying to push her away, telling her she doesnt want to see her. tell her slendy doesnt want her around, fake a headache, all of this. drama drama drama miscommunication issues etc etc ...

eventually nina needs to work on boundaries, listening to people, understanding she isnt that special, looking at things very objectively, actually examining danger, not seeking thrills, etc... all of that. big obstacle.

but nina loves the chaser, even if the chaser doesnt love her. and kates so fucking grateful it hasnt hurt nina yet.

[vorenado-m]

happy disability pride month! please consider helping me take back my life as a disabled person!

the TL;DR is that for the last 3 months i have had an absolutely soul-sucking miserable minimum wage retail job that, due to the way scheduling works (and the app being broken as fuck) has prevented me from having access to literally any of the life-saving mental health/medical care i need as a disabled person.

my disability is best managed through a combination of medication, therapy, and casework-- not a single one of which i have had since march! :) contextually, up until i got this job, i took three daily medications and had casework once a week and therapy once or sometimes twice a week. these services are offered at an affordable cost to me through a local organization that is threatening to close my case due to lack of participation.

ill make another, more detailed post later with some of the services i can offer for money (i draw! i code! i write!) but until then here is a code you can scan if you have a few dollars to spare:

there are more details beneath the cut (idk about you guys but im kinda nosy so i wrote some more stuff in case anyone else is also nosy) but thats the gist of it. you can also always ask for details. i dont have a therapist right now so it might feel good to say things.

my plan is as follows: i would like to take the month of july more or less "off" from work to get my affairs in order, starting with scheduling appointments for therapy and casework and getting back on my meds. i am actively looking for a job, but i would like the ability to be somewhat picky instead of applying everywhere i think might have me for the sake of having money coming in to pay rent.

for the last two years i have made less than $800/mo and i can survive on roughly $600-$650 a month. my july rent ($550) is paid and my august rent (at least $500) is most likely also squared away, through a combination of some cash i was hoarding, a previous donation, my last expected paychecks from my current job, and my brother generously offering to cover whatever is left over. the extra $100ish is for roughly a months supply of the food that is part of my daily routine that i get cranky without (i have tea every morning, for instance.)

i have a fantastic roommate who is not struggling as much financially who will do everything in her power to make sure i have access to staple foods (rice, eggs, etc) so i really just need to buy the things only i consume (kimchi, milk, etc.) there is a food bank i go to, so i am not worried about food, but i can only go to it once per month. we have a barter system where i trade her the things i dont want from the food bank and she buys me things i will eat; alternatively, i sometimes give her things i get from the food bank (eg meat) that she turns into meals for both of us.

i live independently/"alone" with roommates and do not have support from my family pretty much at all. they have never been particularly useful for emotional support and have openly denied me financial support since i was a teenager. moving in with them/getting help from them/talking to them is not an option.

i have emailed my caseworker at the mental health organization i work with as well as my caseworker with the disability vocational program i work with to help me find a new job that is "back of house" and requires less customer interaction. i did this over the weekend, so i expect to hear back from them sometime this week. in the meantime, i am searching for jobs on my own in places like indeed, jobhat, careerbuilder, etc. as well as checking company websites of places like chain grocery stores to see what is available in my area.

my job pool is a bit limited due to the fact that i cannot drive (due to both my disability and the medication im supposed to be taking for it) but i am very well-versed at taking the bus, which is free. getting to and from work is not a concern for me; it is being able to do the job without being driven to the edge of a mental breakdown that is the problem.

the disability vocational program is my ticket out of poverty! last month i had a follow-up evaluation (i had to call out of work for it, but frankly i was at the end of my rope then too) where they approved my career goals as a web developer and we are in the process of deciding what my next steps are! the program will likely (depending on what route i take) help pay for vocational training, too, but i obviously have to pay rent while in training. which i think i can do if i have a job that doesnt make me want to die.

i have some other things that make my life a bit harder (im mixed race, i am nonbinary + gay, etc) but i would say those things dont really impact my ability to get a job as much as the disability does LOL which is why i did not feature them prominently in this post. like, the reason i cant get a job isnt because people dont want to hire me because i have blue hair and pronouns, its because im obviously disabled.

if you have any other questions, no matter how intrusive you think they might be, feel free to send a DM or an ask, and i will try to answer.

[msc137]

Hey skittle. When did you find out you were primes grandson?-Mortimer

oh, jeez.

um, so. a couple years back, me and rick got into kinda a rough patch, and he actually ended up leaving in order to adventure with these two sentient crows. he left me his portal gun, too.

i visited the citadel a few times while he was gone. i think it started as just curiosity, since he never took us to the citadel unless it was absolutely necessary, but eventually i ended up visiting a bunch of bars and stuff. that was when my drinking first got to be a problem.

i got portal fluid to top off the gun every time i visited. i guess it probably should have been a bit of a red flag that the fluid was free, but i didnt really think it through. eventually, i got this aging serum to make me like, 40, and went over to find rick and try to, um. guilt trip him into coming back.

it didnt really work! but rick came back a couple months later anyway. he took us to the citadel in order to bring me back down to my original age.

thats when effie had some people tell us we were invited to dinner with her. i was really excited since i looked up to her a fair bit. she was president of the citadel back then, and i thought it was really cool how much she had done to try and improve things for mortys there. rick was more reluctant but i got him to go anyway.

at the dinner, she finished a brainscan of my rick that she had started way back when she was controlling evil rick. that brainscan had all of his memories up to that point. she needed his memories in order to help her break the curve and escape.

at that point, i think she did something to the portal fluid, and it all got redirected to instakill dimensions. since i had used the citadel fluid to refill ricks portal gun, we couldnt really escape with it, so instead he thought there might be a way out through the bottom.

me and rick got into a bit of an argument, so he offered me his downloaded memories as like, a gesture of trust. looking back, i probably should have waited until after everything had settled down, but i just plugged it in right then and there as the citadel was collapsing around us.

the majority of his memories are pretty vague and fuzzy now, but thats when i found out what rick prime had done to rick. and, um. and his family. and thats how i found out that i wasnt ricks original morty. because, yknow, he didnt have an original morty.

my rick was the one who, um. who built the curve in the first place. in order to trap rick prime. thats why effie needed his memories to break it.

when i came to, i got to see where all the project pheonixes got rerouted to. these chambers with these, like, spinning blades at the bottom. it was honestly pretty horrifying, haha! and all those, um, remains of ricks and mortys were sent through these big tubes.

thats when we caught up to effie. and. thats when she offered to take me with her, out of the curve and away from ricks. but, um, well. i chose my rick, back then. im glad that i dont have to make a choice now. i dont know what i would choose and i dont want to think about it.

me and rick fled to the mortyville sector of the citadel (i think it was the sector that used to be morty town) and seperated it from the rest, just in time before a huge wave of portal fluid would have crashed into us. we ended up stranded on the remains of the citadel for a while. honestly, we both probably would have starved to death there if space mom hadnt found us.

when we got back home, rick tried to reset portal travel, but he accidentally reset portal travellers. which meant everyone in our curve got sent to their dimension of origin.

i got sent back to my dimension. um, a while back, me and rick accidentally turned everyone in the dimension into these, um, cronenberg creatures. except people directly related to me. i ran into my dad, and um, he was the only member of my original family who was still alive.

anyway!!!! rick got me out of there, made sure i hadnt ran into the rick of that dimension, and then we got into the ship. i asked him where we were going, he said, "to kill your grandpa, little buddy," and thats when i found out.

we landed on this weird base in the middle of space, and there were a bunch of killbots and screens and bombs and stuff, it was really overwhelming. thats when rick told me that he had landed in my dimension hoping that rick prime would, well, show up someday. but he didnt.

i heard my moms in danger on the ships communicator. that was when i decided that rick c137 was my grandpa. not rick prime. and i got rick to leave with me so we could go and help my moms.

afterwards, we all went back to our home dimension, but some bullshit happened with a dangerous pet that rick had in the house for some reason and so we had to leave that earth and find a new one. it was a huge pain in the ass to do since portal travel was still broken, but we managed.

and well. we got to our new earth, buried the dead versions of ourselves in the backyard, and rick reassured me that i wasnt bait for rick prime. because rick prime didnt care about me anyway.

i still dont like the way "parmesan" is pronounced on this earth but at least everyone is together and okay, yknow?

jeez um, sorry, i guess i sorta gave a lot of extra detail there, didnt i? um, anyway, yeah. thats how i found out. and uh. do you think you could try not to refer to me as rick primes grandson? hes. not my grandpa.

[campfam4lyfe]

So good to meet another Brookji/Kenlynn fan! What do you think that will happen between them in JWCT season 2 (or later seasons)?

YESSS ANOTHER BROOKENJI!!!!!

okay so, honestly, i have like. zero clue. of what i think will actually happen, because there could be so many different roads for them to take. i know what i want though, and that is a kenlynn endgame. i understand why they broke up, i do. but to see their faces as it happened. the devastation--neither of them wanted it. but kenji had to do it, and i dont blame him.

but guys! brooklynn loves the camp fam--she keeps their picture up on her mystery board. she kept it as her lockscreen. she loves them. i also have to say, that brooklynn loves kenji. as a boyfriend, as a lover--as her person. darius says she was real broken up about the breakup, and she clearly had regrets. she told darius about how and where it happened. she kept that video with the "brokwie bear" and "kenji wenji." she has that video because she couldn't help but film him bc she thought he was being cute. it was one of the first things they saw when they decided to look through her phone! she loves him!

and kenji loves her--his grief over her death, his anger at the people he suspected of being involved in her death--the constant "where were you's" to darius--he needed to know why he wasnt there. that bit where he says "be honest with me. if you loved brooklynn, and mean, really loved her, why werent you there?" broke me, absolutely, cause goddamn ouch. like. he loves her, so he couldnt imagine not showing up if she called him. to the extent where he needs to know why darius wasnt and its like. does he, somehow, blame himself a lot? is that a veiled, *i* could have been there, why didnt she want me there?? devastating stuff.

but. thats all s1 stuff. youre asking about season 2 and onwards! so. what i think will happen--okay, so, you remember how in the end of s1 cc they showed ben was alive? and then we got a ben&bumpy episode that spanned the near-month he was alone. im wondering if they'll do that with brooklynn at some point. truly, i dont know. its possible, but maybe there going to reveal it in pieces, like flashbacks.

i want to know how brooklynn survived. the extent of her realtionship with ronnie, and about all the stuff she'd uncovered abt the dino smugglers since she started till now.

but also, i want a reunion so so bad, and since CT was handling everything else so well, i think theyll do a reunion justice too. and that means i think they will give some of the characters space to be angry. obviously i think there will be relief--who wouldnt be, to find out your friend is alive? but then i think there might also be betrayal, or anger or both.

and maybe also a little horror. brooklynn lost her HAND. and those moments leading up to it must have been terrifying.

i want the fact that she has lost a hand to be addressed. for instance, she can't drive her motorcycle anymore, at least not without a proper prosthesis. and its clearly something she liked doing--her helmets! one for her and one for kenji. just. AHHHHHH you know???

i want kenji to be wooed, let brooklynn woo kenji CT writers, let them woo each other.

i realize i keep meandering and never properly answering your question. im so sorry! okay--i think things will be tense, probably, with relief mixed in, but also a lot of hurt, and some anger. i think brooklynn will have her reasons, its a matter of whether or not the camp fam can accept those reasons or not, after all, we cannot force anyone to accept our apologies. i think they will however, though it may be at different stages for different characters. i think kenlynn will be able to reconcile, and im hoping for a "i knew youd come around/dont ruin it" call back. (my biggest hope is for that ghost line callback tho) but i also think brooklynn will have to show kenji that she does value his time and being with him, and just, him. which, i think its clear she does, but she got a little too consumed with her mystery for a hot sec.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

I finished acotar a while ago and I was gonna write a review right away but then christmas happened and I was pretty busy and wanted to enjoy myself so youre getting like two weeks late

It was fine, I really didnt have any strong feelings about the book itself. Like, my main complaints are that it was pretty boring and directionless for most of it and stuff thats mainly related to the next books, if I just look at it as a standalone I would describe it as "not for me, but not that bad"

That is, until we get to Under The Mountain, where everything just gets really stupid and convoluted. That whole section, which is a solid fourth or fifth of the whole book, severely clashes with the sweet fairytale romance that came before it. It reminds me of how all those twilight-knockoff trilogies in the 2010s would have two pretty low-stakes books worth of basically only romance with some weird magic sprinkled on top, and then in the last book it would turn out that the protagonist and her beloved need to Go To War or the world will end except even worse (also now that I think about it, the first three acotar books also seem to be structed like that, so youre getting two shitty plot structures in one. yayyyyyyy)

There was literally no reason for all of that happen, it was honestly just unpleasant reading about Feyre, who had spent the book recovering from her trauma in a way that was genuinely pretty nice to read about, being tortured for three months until she was feeling worse than she ever had before. And some people might say "oh, thats the point, its meant to be tragic" but it didnt feel like tragedy, it just felt tonally dissonant. Also, the entire ending was so weird and dragged out, like that bit where she and Tamlin are staying one last night UTM for some reason and then she talks to Rhysand before they finally leave and its like, BRO dont stay in the Palace of Torments for any longer than you have to, just leave through that portal-tunnel thing

Speaking of Rhysand, he wasnt that bad in this book but Im sure my opinion on him will change. The main thing that sticks out about him is how sjm simply could not resist ALREADY explaining all of his motivations and portraying him as someone whos obviously so noble, despite all the obviously horrific and completely unecessary shit hes doing. Like, theres that scene where Rhysand crushes that guy's brain when Amarantha ordered him to crush his mind and the narration goes "that was actually an act of mercy from Rhysand" ??? that mightve worked better in third person limited where youre working without the implication that the prose is the pov character's actual thoughts, but since its first person and meant to be Feyre's thoughts I was just like "why is she thinking that when she should be thinking 'holy fucking shit, i just signed my life over to a guy who could squish my mind like a grape if he wanted to?!?!?!!'"

Also, theres that scene where Rhysand comes into Feyres cell to "escape from it all" or whatever and he basically monologues to her about his sympathetic motivations and I just. sarah, girlie, you shouldve saved this shit for the second book. Like, rewrite the scene so that he just comes in eithout a word, hes totally unresponsive to Feyre insulting him or trying to ask him what hes doing here, he just sits down in the corner, knees pulled to his chest, he mutters something vague about just wanting to be left alone, maybe he's even got tears in his idk. I think that would be a far more effective way to have him be sympathetic in a more subtle way than just having him monologue his tragic circumstances and noble intentions at Feyre

Thats about it so far, I'll probably start reading ACOMAF in january when winter break is over and I can read it on the bus and in class again

[alternativegirl23]

Deal With The Devil- Finale

To anyone that was waiting for this, Im sorry it took so long. This was my first time writing smut and my first time writing anything in years. Im well beyond rusty but hope to improve. Also sorry if how the writing gets uploaded is weird. Still figuring stuff out on here. I hope the wait was worth it. Reblogs, likes, comments are appreciated.

Weeks had passed, then several months. You only hoped everything was running smoothly for both parties. You'd work at your desk job during the week, then go home to wait for Lee whenever he'd drop by. Parents were still being a bit too overbearing, even at your age. They should've let you be more of your own person at thirty.

      As their only child, that was hard for them. So you found your freedom where you could. Early one evening, you heard Lee's distinct knock at the door. He calmly walked into the dining room, you following behind him. He dropped the manila envelope down carelessly on the table. 

 "Just in case you thought I was lying", he said. You shook your head, a confused look on your face.

"I dont know why you think I would", you said. Lee opened the envelope to show you the papers, signed by him and his ex wife. "It was amicable. I was the only one to sign the lease of the house. So I helped her find a two bedroom apartment a few towns over". You nodded. 

      He took the papers back to his car and placed them in the glove box. The night came and went in somewhat of a blur. You tried your hand at making moms mashed potatoes from scratch. Following her recipe for cube steak and green beans from a can. Everyone ate plenty and proceeded to do their own thing. 

      Your parents, ever typical, watched TV in the living room. Lee joined them for a little while before heading up the stairs to take a shower. You followed a few minutes after, saying you were too tired to stay up late. "Okay, thats fine cutiepie", mom said cheerily. You recoiled slightly at the name she used for you as a child for so long.

      The bathroom door ajar, the shower beginning letting steam and warmth waft out steadily. You shivered slightly at the difference in temperature. Before heading to your room, you heard Lee yell "Hey hon. I think I left a shirt in my bag. Can you get it for me?" You called out a yes in response.

      Rummaging through his bag, you pulled out a clean black teeshirt. Handing it to him as you opened the door more. Only a towel wrapped around his middle. He gave a smug smirk, as if sensing the heat coursing through you. Holding it out for him, he slowly saunters the few feet to take it from you. 

     "Thank you gorgeous", with a little wink. You forget you're in a long sleep shirt, the tops of your thighs peeking out and giving him a good glimpse of more skin. He notices your face just then, eyes slightly glazed over.

"Your starin' sweetheart", he drawls. His body is only inches from yours now. You shake your head to clear your thoughts. 

      "Sorry, I didnt mean to" you admit sheepishly. 

"S'aright. I like your attention", he counters. He slowly traces a hand up your thigh, your eyes closing a little at his touch. "I should get some sleep", you say in a whisper. Lee's hands move quickly to your ass to give a firm squeeze before you protest any further. 

   "You know where ta find me", he whispered. Placing the lightest kiss on your neck. He gave one last lingering touch before hoping in the shower. You entered your room and closed the door.

    Three hours later and you still couldnt sleep, its now midnight. Your mind wandered to Lee and all the attention he's given you, no matter how small the gesture. I wonder what he looks like when he strokes his cock. Do his eyes roll in his head when he strokes it? Does he ever imagine its me? 

      What does he feel like? Hands having a mind of their own, they traveled down to your panties to slowly start to tease your clit. It didnt take any time for you to become wet, all your focus being on Lee. You tried being quiet, covering your mouth with your hand.

      You attempted to bring yourself to the edge. But just as you were almost there, something in your mind told you to stop. The quiet seemed too quiet. The darkness concealed everything within your bedroom. You were almost blind as a bat and could hardly see anything. 

      But your intuition still told you something or someone was there. You heard him before you saw his shadowy figure. A black outline resting casually in the outline of a door in the corner of your room that lead to your bathroom. 

      “Dont let me stop ya darlin’. You thinkin’ bout me”, Lee asked you in a low, somewhat husky drawl. You instantly froze, breath hitching in your throat. Did you hear that right? Lee cleared his throat softly amd strolled the few feet to the edge of your bed. His eyes lingered on your arm below the blanket, a small growl in the back of his throat.

      He sat on the edge, his hand creeping up your calf and starting to stroke it. Too entranced by his movements, you watched his face as he watched your reactions. He let out a small chuckle, shaking his head. 

      “Don't let me stop you darling. I thought you wanted all this. Now you're too scared?”, he asked. You let out a small whimper. Hardly noticing that his hand had moved to your upper thigh and was now caressing it. 

      You sat up straight now, bringing your hand to meet Lee’s and placing his hand over your pussy. Doing your best to maintain eye contact and settle your nerves.

      “Im not scared-”, you said on a shaky exhale. “I just didnt expect you there”, you continued. Lee moved in closer and put his other hand on your shoulder. Starting to kiss your mouth slowly, slipping his tongue on your lips to see if you'd let him in. Licking and biting softly, you whimpered, not able to resist. 

      Slowly, your hesitation subsided. Melting into a small flame in your core that you didn't doubt Lee would make into a spark. You scooted closer to him now, reaching out for him in the darkness. Lee’s hands entangled yours in a sweet gesture. 

      Pulling you close and bringing your head in for a kiss. Mouths opening and tongues already exploring. His large hands roaming up and down your back and sides. You

leaned forward more, connecting your mouth to his neck and started licking softly. Sucking in spots and nipping slightly. 

      Lee’s chest rumbled slightly under you. Smirking to yourself as you heard the soft moan next to your ear. He pulled you away, his mouth now doing the same things to your neck that you just did to his. Your head started to feel light and floaty. Everything in your body telling you to keep chasing this feeling. 

       Lee advanced on your body. Pushing you back a little roughly back onto your bed. Going back to kissing your mouth and neck, hands roaming everywhere. Both of you moaning now, but trying to stay quiet. 

       “Ive been waiting for this for so damn long. You know how many times I had to stroke myself and think of you”, Lee asked breathlessly. You smiled back at him. Feeling giddy and excited knowing that a man ten or so years older could think of you that way. You tore off your clothes, body totally bare and exposed for him.

      Lee did the same and he was everything you'd imagined. You had a preference for certain body types, sure. But as long as they had a handsome face and smooth voice or a certain twang, that was what typically got you off more. He chuckled as he lowered himself onto you. His hard cock poking your stomach, almost lining up with your heat. You had to hold back a whimper, not wanting to wake anyone else in the house up. Lee slowly dragged it through your wet folds, hissing as he just barely slipped inside. 

      “Fuck baby…” his voice trailed off as he kept draggin himself through you. You were in awe of his self control. Yourself on the verge of begging him to put it in. Biting your bottom lip, pouting pathetically up at him as your hand moved back down to your pussy. 

      “Nuh uh sweetheart, that's my job”, he said again in a hoarse whisper. His hand took your place and started to swipe up and down your lips and clit. Finally focusing on just your clit, hands already reaching for blankets. Lee laughed softly, watching you be so desperate for him. “I haven't even done anything and you already want it? Already wanna cum”, he teased.

       You didn’t answer, too focused on what he was doing. He kept finding your bundle of nerves and would rub in circles, up and down, side to side. Without warning, to see your reaction, he stopped. Undoing his belt and sliding down his pants hastily, he grabbed the length of his cock and roughly slid into your waiting opening. Lee chuckled at your gasp of a reaction, your fingers curling around his broad shoulders. Sure, you were with a few people before, but none seemed to be as intune with your body as Lee was. 

      His years more than made up for your slightly less experienced roster. Lee started thrusting slowly as if to try and savor the moment. His intense stare going soft as he looked down at your face half contorted in bliss. He couldnt help but reach a hand out to stroke your cheek and move your hair away. Mouth moving into a small grin as he roughly snapped his hips twice. Only because he wanted to watch you squirm. You clung to him more tightly. 

“God…Lee…please just…fuck me”, you croaked. A little breathless as he put all of his weight on you. He noticed the shallow breaths from your slightly hollow throat. He raised himself up onto his elbows now, kissing and nipping your neck. Shaking his head in a chuckle, he started thrusting faster and harder now. 

      Lifting your hips to feel himself deeper. Arms circling around him in an attempt to bring him closer.

      “Cage me in Lee”, you pleaded. Clasping your hands together to encircle him. You realized then you liked the feeling of him on top of you. His whole body weighing you down like the warmest, heaviest blanket. He smiled and did as you obliged, his arms going behind your neck as he kept snapping hard and deep into you. Your moans coming out as breathy pants. 

      Fuck, he felt so good. Why hadnt I done this sooner? He twined his fingers into your hair, gripping the back of your head. Lee loved having you on your back like this. Totally at his will. His cock throbbed a little when you let you a garbled moan as he felt the light scratches of your nails down his back.

       “Goddamn honey, you keep panting like that and Im gonna come”, he rasped as he picked up his speed. You needed him to go faster and deeper. You wanted to feel yourself gush all over him. Smiling to yourself, you had a good- but maybe not smart- idea. 

      You just wanted to give Lee some…encouragement. 

    “Come on baby, I know you can fuck me harder than that. Hm?” A little chuckle escaped you, until you saw that was the wrong thing  to do. Lee’s gaze went steely and his lip pressed into a thin line. Your face fell in a little bit of fear. He seemed to enjoy that. 

      A smirk curling on his lips. Leaning down to bite your neck, and you letting out a slight cry. He started thrusting his hips wildly, not able to hold back like he was before. He kept going until you went almost limp, mouthing wordless sentences and nonsensical noises. His large hand giving your cheek a few gentle slaps. 

      When that didn't work, he gripped your chin tightly. Trying to force you to come back out of your fucked out state. Tilting his head to purr into your ear as he watched your eyes roll and then refocus again. You had never felt anything this good before. If this was his “light” side, then what was his dark like? 

      “Now listen baby…you wanted this. This was yer idea. You cant handle it, tap out now. Sides….this is jus’ me getting started”. Your eyes widened at that. So there was more to him that he wasnt showing. Your eyes in total focus now, looking him dead in the eyes. Sneering at him, a bit of a growl to your voice now. 

      “Fuck me harder, Sheriff. I can take it”, you smiled a little triumphantly. He was more than happy to listen. Both of  your releases are so close. You let out a loud squeal as you felt him hit your cervix almost painfully so. WIthout thinking, he clamped a hand over your mouth. 

      “I said you gon’ have to be quiet, my little whore”. Your eyes rolled a little, you could feel yourself flutter around him. A moan escaping your mouth with a muffled “fuck” around Lee’s hand. He grinned wickedly, hips snapping as fast as he could. :”Yeah, you liked that, didn’t ya sugar” Lee cooed at you. You nodded enthusiastically, grabbing his wrist as he kept going at a brutal pace. 

      “Wanna be my little whore for as long as I ask”, he questioned. You nodded again. Without warning, you felt yourself cum hard on his cock. Eyes fluttering wildly and you couldn't help but let out an almost screaming moan. Lee panted and huffed, burying his face into the crook of your neck, his own release so close behind your own. Your pussy couldn’t help but cum again around him. “Come on baby, lemme hear those pretty noises. Just a lil”, he cooed into your ear as a whisper. 

      “Please cum in me Lee. I want it so fucking bad”, your breath coming in breathless pants. Letting out a grunt and then groan, you felt him shoot a big load inside of you. Your pussy clamping down on him to take every drop. Lee grunted again as he felt you clamp down, his hand traveling down to knead at your chest. With a growl, “Thank fuck, baby. Damn. Wanted that for so long”, he huffed some more as he lightly played with your hair now. 

      “You always cum that hard”, he asked, brows raising in question. You shook your head in answer. Trying to catch your own breath. “Not that many times with the few guys before me. Fact if we go another round, you can probably make me cum two more times, Sir”. You felt his softening cock twitch inside you again. Unable to help it, you moaned a curse and bit hard on your lip. 

      “Like when you call me Sir”, Lee teased. Hand moving down to squeeze your ass hard, you whimpered. Hips bucking up and already begging for more. “And I just might take you up on your offer”, he finished. You thought you heard movement down the hallway. Lee noticed it too. Both of you stopped and froze still. He even looked a little worried. Maybe we hadn’t been as quiet as we thought. Suddenly, a call from a few feet from your closed bedroom door. 

      “Honey, are you alright in there? I heard some noise. If you’re watching TV, can you turn it down, please?”, she asked. Yours and Lee’s eyes widened. Unsure of what to do. Voice a little shaky, but clearing your throat. 

      “Yeah, mom, Im fine. Sorry, I’ll turn it down”, you called out. Lee sniggered and you hit his shoulder a little hard, trying to get your point across…not funny. Hearing her steps retreat, you let out a sigh of frustration and relief. Lee still grinned at you, shaking his head in amusement.  He slowly let himself up from you, pulling out slowly but relishing in the feeling of your heat until next time. 

     You collected yourself as he went to put back on his tee shirt and boxers. He turned around, a look of disbelief at what just happened. He let out a small chuckle, coming towards you again. Hands planted on the edge of your comforter and hunching over to meet your face. “And that is why I'm buying you your own apartment”, he said matter of factly. Stunned into silence, you didn't know what to say. He smiled, amused at your dumbfoundedness. “Now you best get some sleep, sexy. Im making another visit to ya tomorrow night. But next time…we’re using a gag or really turning on your TV’, he said. All you could do was nod as he sauntered away and gently closed your door. Maybe having your parents' friend around wasn’t as bad after all.     

[azhdarchidae]

Life is good lately :) a few problems but there always is

ex reached out to exchange our stuff so i dont have to decide when to do that bc i dont know. The norms there. Oups.

Having fun w boytoy the issue there is im kind of too attached and been texting him a lottt i think its cuz of the breakup. Im endeavoring to talk to other friends too and take breaks. But its a good problem that theres someone i like talking to too much LMAO

One of my friends who stopped going to class, texting me etc has recovered from her mental health moment and shes going to class and i get to see her again!!

I think i have a great shot at this remote job which has a self paced kinda schedule. Waiting to hear back on my application

Even if that dont work out im feeling a bit more confident in my skills for an irl job

>:/ school board hasnt gotten in touch w me about my stupid classes i need to bother them

Need this document from my school and im kinda busy this week

Im falling illll i think, its not as bad as my usual colds but its so annoying cuz the last one wasnt even 2 months ago. And im an obligate stoner so it hurts 2 smoke. I just wanna hang out w my friends and suck face like this is not fair

Ive been getting more and more physically active. I had to force myself out for walks at first but now i crave it regularly!! Ill just be sittin there and get the feeling that i need to move and do things :) i put a step tracker on my phone cuz curious and all the stuff i did yesterday didnt feel crazy, maybe a bit of an annoying amount of walking. But that was over 15,000 steps 😵‍💫 when 10k/day is supposed to be a good goal for health. So im fitter than i thought i was!!

Ive been struggling w my body, feeling pretty and embodied. I really want to do strength training bc i think itll help a lot, just need to be able to afford gym. Also martial artsss doing bjj or boxing or smth will make me super happy. And like looking more muscular will make me feel better gender wise i think. I cant really achieve curvy woman w my genetics but i can achieve Strong Woman through hard work n perseverance and that might make me happier quite honestly. Plus i can manually give myself an ass and thats my main insecurity my flat little butt

Struggling w body hair. Waxing means i have to wait a long time for everything to grow back but shaving is not an option bc its sensory bad. Waxing also takes so long it took me 2 days to do both my legs the first time. Maybe ill get faster w practice but UGGGGH i hate spending loads of time on my appearance and being all finicky and shit. Maybe its worth it to pay someone to do it for me >_<

[halfusek]

Imma be honest with you, before BATDR came out, you literally held this fandom together with bandaids and stick glue. 2019-2022 was basically the dry age of Bendy content

haha thanks i tried my best

i Do enjoy being in a fandom, i've always looked up to the danny phantom phandom a lot cause the vibes there are just fantastic, there's a lot of things going on, people have many interactions with each other, so i wanted to try to introduce that to the batim fandom and i'd like to think that i sorta did

i know that it is a popular opinion to not engage with a large portion of the fandom but instead just grab a few friends and sit in a corner with them but like

engaging with a bigger portion of the fandom every now and then can be SO fun and give people an opportunity to meet other people and idk

fandoms are communities of people just united by liking A Thing so it can be challenging to make a space for many people to get along but i dont recall any super serious only fandom related dramas in batim?? weirdos are in every fandom and you just blast their asses into oblivion with a block button

and there have been cases when i felt kinda bad for blocking someone because that meant i'd exclude them from something i wanted to think of as a fandom-wide event for everyone who would obey it's rules but that's where this outlook on curating your experience into a smaller circle is very much the way to go lol

wait what am i talking about

aha yea 2019-2022 everything fucking DIED here but i was having a blast drawing my comic and also a lot of people who were into the sides of batim i was into mainly (the human characters) stayed around more than everyone else and it was really chill, i've met a lot of people and made many friendships :)

as the fandom was getting smaller there was a noticable drop in the amount of notes batim related posts were getting which is a very big symptom of a fandom dying but i think at some point it sorta stabilized who stayed there after batdr was delayed and delayed

i reblog and tag more than an usual tumblr user (when im active cuz sometimes i can not reblog anything for months because im busy lol) and that didnt start without a reason, it sure is a habit now and i really enjoy doing it, letting people know what i think about their stuff and putting nice things on display for others to see

reblogs are not just crucial for singular artists but also for fandoms as a whole, thats how you keep that train rollin

though here is a sad thing that many many artists dont reblog a lot, or reblog to their sideblogs that arent followed by nearly as many people as their main blogs

and thats like understandable, im the weirdo who puts a whole mess of many posts on my main but i think thats also the most effective way to help other people get traction and i never see this mentioned when people complain that tumblr users dont reblog as much stuff as they like

its even kinda funny to me when people complain about their stuff not getting reblogged when they dont reblog others stuff themselves at all xD though there is a bit of cyanide in that thought heheh

on the other hand reblogging doesnt work on stuff that i could see from other people: the stuff i reblog i get from browsing the bendy and the ink machine tag sorted by new + sometimes when i bored i scroll through my dash and reblog some random things but i follow 2k people so i dont really see any individuals art specifically, just a collection of random posts that i am able to scroll through in a few minutes (and every minute theres a bunch of new posts posted/reblogged by those i follow)

and that can take a long time! if ive been busy for months then scrolling through a few months worth of stuff people around the world made for bendy is so bad even on a beefy computer that it just pushes tumblr to its limits and takes HOURS to reblog and tag for me, and then i might even hit the daily post limit and have to continue tomorrow

but i enjoy doing this, bendy is my fixation after all and i fucking love art and what people can create for this thing that i like i soooooo desire to see it all

and i try to reblog as much as possible, though i dont obviously reblog *everything* from the tag, sometimes i just give a like or i just dont like the thing cuz its not in my liking and thats it

but i did make it a thing that during ink demonth i reblog all entries for the event no matter what my opinion of them is just to give some of that Exposure TM because hey maybe some of my followers Will like it

i dont run a super duper popular blog but there is a bunch of yall there and i think me reblogging something in this fandom at least may give a litol boost to the notes on a post

and its always fun to see peoples reactions that dont expect me to reblog from them but then i do and they freak out a little, i think i love it on the same level as getting comments on my own art :) its super wholesome

man by writing this post im procrastinating on something but fdnjkfdfd

but anyway thank you!! and im glad you think so because i did try to accomplish that :D

[woundworship]

what do all of ur tags mean? :)

hi! sorry it took me so long to answer this. unfortunately, i suck

most of them are quotes or lyrics and most of them refer to concepts and motifs im obsessed with. i intend on having a tag for each of my fav characters and maybe someday i will, but i literally only have one for abigail hobbs. lmao. here they are:

and all the fears you hold so dear - my abigail tag. its from duvet, by bôa, and idk... it just suits her, i guess.

your feelings and mine are all holy - lesbian tag. what can i say? im a lesbian and to me, lesbian love IS holy. its from another bôa song, twilight.

at seventeen i started to starve myself - girlhood tag! i dont really know how to explain my choice for this tag, it just... fits. women starving themselves noth literally and metaphorically i guess? anyway. hunger by fatm.

if you could only see the beast you made of me - a tag for fathers. i will not be taking comment or speculation regarding my relationship with my father or my psychological state at the moment, thank you. howl is one of my favorite fatm songs, and i do have a lot of those.

you'll be sorry that you messed with me - this isnt really a religion tag; its more of a christianity tag. i am a pagan and actually very very religious, i just hate christianity. and god. its a lyric from florence's girls against god, a song that makes me cry if i think about the lyrics too much.

do i look moderate to you? - my tag for love. romantic love, that is. in an obsessed freak way. its the last of my tags thats a florence lyric, and this one is from moderation (another favorite).

someday you will ache like i ache - finally, a hole lyric! the first of well. a lot to come. this is my trauma tag, because i am a loser, and its from doll parts, because its a great song.

dog bait - also from doll parts, this is my werewolf tag

i fit right in your perfect skin - my tag for everything medical <3 i love that lyric and... yeah. medical shit Does fit right into your perfect skin. anyway, thats from reasons to be beautiful

was she asking for it? - just my deer tag. its from asking for it, and... i dont know, sometimes a girl is just feeling a little bit like a deer for once in her life ok

traditional inherited predispositional - runs in the family by amanda palmer. this one is for family stuff and its very much on the nose, just like all my other tags.

to carry on through cartilage and fluid - my last song lyric tag, from desert song by mcr. its just my death tag :)

just love me and eat - i love this quote so fucking much i got it tattooed on my chest last year. anyway, its from bones and all, and its the tag i use for romantic cannibalism (bc Yes, it IS important enough to be separated from the romance and the cannibalism tag, ok?)

to be eaten raw - started as my cannibalism tag, today its a catch all for cannibalism, gore and meat. is it me telling you its supposed to be eaten raw? is it musing about how it must be to be eaten raw? eh, i dont know. its not really that important though is it

thats most of them. the rest are self explanatory, but i do tag a few posts with 🧟 when i want them to go to my brother's tag (though mostly i just send them anything i want him to see)

not sure youre even gonna see this now thats been what, 6 months? but i hope your curiosity is sated <333

[schizosupport]

hey :) so im currently having what is likely psychotic episode, ive experienced various trauma both through childhood and with sexual abuse, and currently have struggles with eating, self harm and also have extremely severe anxiety, depression and then bpd and adhd too

i think more than anything i just want the validation that it is psychosis, that it likely isn't real but it's okay, and that getting help IS a good thing, bc ive been rejected from the public health system for it bc apparently im not psychotic and it wont get worse- as well as any advice on what to do about it all (im in australia if that helps)

uhm. so there's this guy called lamben that showed up about two months ago now, and since then hes explained stuff around me needing to help him take down the queen of the opposing nation, bc shes hurting his people and he brought me some of the victims and theyd had severe burns and everything and it's all more around magic

and so ive been asked to train with him to use the powers i have that are stronger than all of his peoples, which i can see it's like black smoke almost, and then also talking to this other guy called kesan whos the queens assistant thats against what's happening

and so there's been a plan made and everything of how to infiltrate the castle and im terrified rn of going through with it in case i get caught and stuck and i dont take her down i get taken captive

and idk if i sound dumb but like. either im able to connect with another world or its psychosis

and everyones saying it isnt real but i need help navigating it all if youre able to offer anything at all

tysm, know this was a bit of a dump but ty 🫶🫶

Hi there!!

I'm happy you reached out to me. It sounds like you got a lot of stressful stuff going on at the moment, both in shared reality and private reality.

To respond very simply, what you describe sounds like a flavour of psychosis to me, based on my understanding of reality, and I hope you can access some competent help with it. It sounds like a really stressful position you've been put in, where you are the only one who has the ability to save these people you feel have been contacting you.

I'm wondering how you experience your connection to this world? Is it as if reality around you changes, are they coming to you in dreams, or a third option?

I'm asking because I'm wondering what it might entail in "shared reality" to infiltrate the queen's castle? If you think about the actions you'd have to take, is this something that could put you in danger or trouble within the reality that we share with most people?

I'm not doubting your experience and that it's a type of psychosis, I'm asking to get a feeling of what the "real life" implications are of your beliefs and the actions you are being asked to perform. It sounds like you are aware that these beliefs and experiences are unusual, and at the very least aren't aligned with the reality other people are generally experiencing. So I am hoping you are able to think through how you've been interacting with this other world so far, to compare how your actions would appear in shared reality.

Because the first question to think about is whether this has the potential to be dangerous to you or others. Because if it does, you may need to escalate the asking for help. I don't know a lot about Australia, but in my country that would look like contacting emergency services if you feel that you are in danger of doing something that can be dangerous. But I would suggest trying to ask someone Australian, to confirm if what emergency services has to offer is actually helpful.

If the answer is no, it's not dangerous, that doesn't mean it isn't causing you significant distress. But it means you have more space to safely explore your options for help in your own pace.

It might also be that the distress it's causing you is in some ways a welcome distraction from other brain and life issues at the moment. Sometimes psychosis can be a type of escapism that the brain engages in. For example if you feel powerless, it can feel good to have special powers to save others, at least for a while, until the pressure might get to be too much.

It's not necessarily black and white, only good or bad.

As far as help goes, I wonder if you currently have anyone like a therapist or anyone like that, to work through trauma etc with? Or other types of support? Psychosis can definitely be heavily linked to stress, and lacking support to work through other difficulties you're facing can make it worse. The help offered for psychosis itself is unfortunately often somewhat lackluster, often it starts and ends with antipsychotics, even though psychotic people do benefit from therapy. There's at the same time a tendency for mh professionals to dismiss symptoms of psychosis, and to focus on them very single-mindedly. Many people experience either being dismissed, or to have the psychosis being acknowledged while everything else gets pushed to the side. So it can be complicated to navigate the system while having psychosis and other issues that tie in with it.

I hope some of this was helpful, feel free to return to my inbox. I wish you the best ❤️

[beamzar]

30th November 2023

Open entry: 00:02

Today was very regular.

My media lesson was atrocious, the people that were in charge of teaching us only thought to diss the topic and act like children.

After it though, me and my friends went to sign up at the gym and were given short instructions on how to use everything. Im going to start next week. I wanted to tomorrow but ive got nothing prepared, and i dont like being unprepared at all.

Ive already have a timetable for myself of when to use the gym, just for an extra sense of security.

Monday: 12:25 - 2

Tues: 12:25-1:25/2

Thurs: 10-11:30

Fri: ???

(Thursday and Friday ill have to bring extra things to use the showers so i dont stink)

Wednesday is my free day, to let my muscle regenerate and expand propperly and to hang out with friends.

I dont have a set rep system down yet but i have a general iverview of what to do each day. I think the gym is great tbh, but if i coukd id rather do some sport or anything that would let me build that muscle through activity rather than just gym. I dunno, ive always kept fit and have banger legs from hiking and walking alot in general, so i guess thats why.

Well anyway, psychology went fine aswell, we got to draw stick people in our books.

Form was alright aswell, we didnt learn anything, i just got to chat to my bsf about things before we got out and went to mine.

We also hung out with our friend for a bit and strolled around our school before they set off. Fun stuff.

We sat and chatted about various things, aswell as making boards for our friends, which was fun,had to rack my mind for stuff.

After she left i didnt rly do much exept for lie down. My legs have been killing me lately for no reason. Theyve been getting weaker, and i believe its just joint fatigue from the cold and also my low bpm. My fingers have been getting more and more stiff too, im actually finding it hella difficult to even type this whole thing out. Well,good news though, sickness is gone oretty much. My eyes arent killing me as much, although theyre still stinging and hurting all the time. I might just be severely dehydrated. I think im out of my depressive phase for now, i hope it stays away for as long as possible.

Thats it really. Have a good night.

Pinch punch first of the month no returns.

Close entry: 00:36

[polyamorouspunk]

… relationship advice cause brain is scrambled please? 🥺👉👈 Even if your followers wanna chime in thats fine too cause I just need an outside view to be honest. Warning long post.

So theres this guy I’ve been friends with since our freshman year of college (2018), lets call him T. We’ve gotten a lot closer over the last few years and I consider him one of my best friends and vice versa. And a few years ago there was some flirting between us but it didnt go anywhere. Really neither of us were in the place for that relationship back then.

Now he has a girlfriend, M, who absolutely hates me, but he is planning on breaking up with her after all the commitments that he has already paid for are up (like day trips and stuff). He is also trying to wait until the semester starts so that he doesnt have to see her anymore, as the last time they broke up, she went a bit wild and started causing trouble with his professors, trapped him in her room, etc.. The problem is that they currently live really close together and while he was in school, they had a LOT of classes together and were both officers of a club together. So the last time he broke up with her, he still had to see him every day and took every chance to cause a problem with him. He ended up getting back together with her just to make it stop. Putting it simply, I completely understand why he doesnt want to upset her until he never has to see her again. Though I think it would be better for him to break it off sooner rather than later.

This is where it gets iffy and I understand my friends telling me that I shouldn't give him a shot. A month or so ago, he confessed to me that he wanted to date me. And I told him off since he does currently have a girlfriend and the way he phrased it wasnt the best. It sounded more like ‘If you wait for me, I’ll date you’, which he has since very sincerely apologized for. He has been quiet about it until last night, where there was some innocent flirting (admittedly on both sides), but he did put a stop to it and tell me "I need to keep my mouth shut for now". My friends are worried that his willingness to tell me that he likes me and flirt while still technically dating his girlfriend, shows that he is just lining me up so that he has someone to date after he breaks it off with his girlfriend. But he has told me near everything that happens in his relationship and I know he hasn't been happy in it for a long time. And I know that he is worried about what she might do if he tries to break it off. That and I do actually like him, l've liked him since I met him, but was too scared to tell him back then. Its not like I'm thinking about dating him just so I don't have to be single, ya know?

So l guess the advice I'm looking for is, would it be okay to date him once he does break it off with her? I'm not necessarily waiting for him to do so, but if he does break up with her before I find a different guy, would I just be asking for trouble? Would it be better to wait a while after they break up if I'm still single? My friends keep telling me that 'a cheater is always a cheater', but none of them seem to really understand all the trauma that girl has put him through or that he hasn't really had feelings for her for a while now. Like a good while before he told me he wanted to date me. And to me, it does seem like he has been trying to keep his feelings to himself (save when he confessed his feelings to me and then last night, which was partially my fault, but he put a stop to). I dont know, I just dont see that has cheating considering the circumstances.

TLDR: My friends say that I shouldnt date a guy that I know really well because he told me he liked me while still in an abusive relationship. And now I’m questioning if I should even be considering the possibility of dating him. Help.

I think a friend of mine and I have been in similar situations for sure. Not to speak for them but I know that they broke up with an ex that was making them uncomfortable with someone else and then they ended up dating that person after the breakup which only made it worse for my friend. A little while after that I became friends with someone that followers of mine will know as Catboy and when I jokingly said that I was going on a “movie date” with Catboy (as friends) my ex broke up with me because he said I was cheating on him even though I was like no we’re going as friends but yk after he dumped me it did end up being a real date so. I know my friend was really pissed about their ex dating someone they felt was a threat right after breaking up with them and I’m sure my ex felt really pissed about me dating someone they felt was a threat after breaking up with me. So I see both my friend’s side as the person who feels “replaced” and my side as the person who was devastated to be dumped by the love of my life for “many reasons” and I have no regrets turning around and jumping into a very unhealthy relationship right after that. I think it was what I needed at the time and even though it became soooo fucking unhinged I was so desperate to be loved after being dumped I get it.

But here’s the thing: in both our cases the person was not already “planning” on dating the person behind another partner’s back. That’s REAL fucking shitty. Yeah, it’s a different story when that person is abusive. I think a really good fictional case of this is in the earlier seasons of 911. You root for Maddy and Chimney to be together even though Maddy was still married to her ex I think. I’m pro finding someone else to be in a relationship while being stuck in an abusive one for sure but like… idk there’s also nuance. There’s a line. I’m sure if you talk to my ex he’ll tell you I’m a crazy bitch. He had to dump me because I was just “too toxic” or whatever. If he was dating someone else on the side at the time or was planning to because he felt like I was some insane bpd bitch I would have been furious. Because I understand what it’s like to be a jealous bitch who hates your boyfriend’s friends. So I mean, I would be pissed in her shoes and I would say he’s cheating on her for sure. I get what it’s like to be an unhinged girl. So I can empathize with her, as someone who also gets treated like a crazy bitch sometimes.

I don’t really believe that “if you cheat once you’ll always cheat” because like I said there’s that exception of like “if you’re cheating because you’re being a battered woman and you’re physically afraid to leave but you’re craving love and receiving it from someone safe how can anyone blame you?”

I don’t think you’re wrong for being willing to jump into a relationship with him right when his ends and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to jump in a relationship with you right when his ends but I do think it’s really shitty to have someone you’re planning on dating on the side after you break up with someone while still dating them, and she has every right to be pissed about it and claim that she’s been cheated on. I think that still counts. I know “emotional cheating” isn’t a thing but I think planning on dating someone else while dating someone is close enough. But I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to date him when he’s free and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to date you when he’s free.

I’ll ask the other person I’m talking about if they want to chime in anonymously or not.

[magic-is-something-we-create]

This or that: Writer's edition tag!

Thank you for the tag, @pens-swords-stuff!! i love these kinds of games so much :D

this post is long, so apologies in advance! that said, i'll tag @writeblrfantasy, @ettawritesnstudies, @ren-c-leyn, and @enchanted-lightning-aes, as well as anyone else who wants to play!! as always, absolutely 0 pressure to participate if you dont want <3

(explanations for choices are optional, i am just a wordy bitch and want to Speak At Length about many things)

- historical or futuristic

as much as i write fantasy, i LOVE a speculative tech-based setting way more than i love a historical or pseudo-historical setting - which is uh. why my main fantasy world does in fact have a cyberpunk corner and Heavily Implied To Be Aliens pantheon.

- opening or closing chapter

the closing chapter is ALWAYS one that ive been champing at the bit to write for the whole book, and its always so satisfying to finally get out on the page

- light+fluffy or dark+gritty

case in point: whispers and the copious amounts of various horror, gore, and downright gut-punch scenes in millennium saga

- animal companion or found family

bonus points for the found family if theres an animal companion of course, but as much as i love wrench, she is a) not the most important member of the party and b) also a robot so i dont think she counts as an animal anyway outside of andy's dubious claims to fitting under the "dragon" definition

- horror or romance

i will write 1000 instances of "what the FUCK" for every page i struggle through writing romance as someone who does not experience attraction

- hard or soft magic system

I LOVE MAKING PUZZLES OUT OF WORLDS AND MAGIC AND STORIES. THATS IT THATS THE POST

- standalone or series

surprise! TMS may be a series and my long-running main WIP, but uh. 90% of my concepts are standalones. and tbh i like writing standalones more because i dont have to struggle with multiple books of plot and characters fitting together

- one project at a time or always juggling multiple

while i have a bajillion ideas, i struggle to get any work done if im not 100% invested in the story at hand, so i work on one at a time (while allowing myself to switch if i need to of course; but if i do switch, it's never just a few days. its months, and often seeing something to completion)

- one award winner or one best seller

honestly? id rather be recognized for my hard work in creating the characters/story via an award than via a bajillion people reading it,,, though theoretically if its winning an award at least enough people have read it to a) nominate it and b) vote for it, so? best of both worlds kinda?

- fantasy or scifi

YOU THINK I, GENRE BLENDER GEORG, COULD CHOOSE--

- character or setting description

please god. my beta readers didnt know what color embers hair was until chapter 13 because i couldnt fuckin figure out how to put a description of it in naturally. ill take describing massive trees and open ocean and vast plains of ice and cluttered rooms and stained glass windows any day but dont make me describe the narrator or i swear to fuck

- first or final draft

its the puzzle box gremlin in me like "NYEHEHEHE THE PIECES. THEY ARE THERE. PEOPLE CAN SOLVE THEM. NEYHE" and that simply cannot happen in the first draft

- love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

we write polyamory, one (1) enemies-to-lovers, or no romance at all in this house (it feels so alienating to write no matter what but if its for the story ill do just about anything)

- constant sandstorm or rainstorm

can i say blizzard? i want to say blizzard. same "dont go outside or you'll die" as sandstorm but less worrying about water and also more excuses for the characters to light a fire and Talk About The Horrors or just commit arson