#but jesper would still try his best to understand even if he doesn't

[i-who-has-never-had-a-name]

Books I think the crows would enjoy:

Kaz: Frankenstein, One flew over the cuckoo's nest, The catcher in the Rye, The secret history, Crime and Punishment, No Longer Human, The silence of the lambs, Demon Copperhead, Eileen, Trainspotting, Hesse's and Cormac McCarthy's works, Antigone, Hamlet, The Stranger, Sherlock Holmes (when he was a child), Attack on Titan & Vinland Saga (manga)

Inej: The color purple, all of Toni Morrison's books, Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, Jane Eyre, Love in the Time of cholera, Mrs. Dalloway, The Bell Jar, a lot of Shakespeare's work, Antigone, Medea, White Nights, Wuthering Heights, Valley of the dolls, Play it as it lays, On earth we're briefly gorgeous, Sex and Rage

Wylan (he'd listen to audiobooks): Giovanni's Room, The picture of Dorian Gray, also the secret history, The great gatsby, The song of achilles, The Illiad, Shakespeare, Letters to a Young Poet, Demian, also Jane Austen's works and Wuthering Heights, Confession's of a Mask, Joan Didion's works

Jesper: That man doesn't read for shit nor does he have the patience to listen to most audiobooks but he'd like to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Harry Potter, definitely a lot of fantasy partly ya, On the Road and also The Great Gatsby.

Nina: Let's be honest she would probably read a lot of trashy romance novels or fun, lighthearted stuff, not that there's anything wrong with it she has endured enough. Would enjoy tropes like enemies to lovers, smut and ya. I have a feeling that she'd like Sarah J. Maas' stuff. I think she would also like Daisy Jones and the six and the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo.

Matthias: He doesn't care.

Feel free to leave suggestions.

[moonstruck-poet]

Rewrite The Stars

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader

Summary - The story of how you two manage to unravel the complexities that concern a relationship based on the song 'Rewrite The Stars'

Hope you'll enjoy it!!!

You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide. You know you want me, so don't keep saying our hands are tied.

Kaz Brekker, you muttered under your breath and kicked a small stone with as much strength as you could muster, ignoring the sharp pain that followed.

He really was impossible that one. Tested your patience to such a level that you were almost considering giving up.

Almost.

But you weren't known as the never giving up person for nothing. You would try to make him see sense.

You halted in your path towards the Crow Club to analyse your thoughts which were a hundred percent occupied by that young boy whom everyone called Dirtyhands.

He had you completely charmed, as could be observed since he was the one running rent free through your mind at all times when you weren't risking your life for the same man.

So taking a deep breath and resting your hand on your holster, you entered your home with a poker face and scanned everything to see that all was going on smoothly.

"All good here?" You questioned Rotty and downed a shot of whiskey, scrunching your nose at the bitter after taste.

"Everything under control ma'am, got a lotta good pigeons," he grinned and your lips twitched sideways.

"What's up, Jes?" You asked the gunslinger who was sitting on one of the stools near the bar, twirling his pistol in his hand.

"Nothing, I'm bored. Need some action," he groaned and stretched upwards.

"Of course you do," you laughed softly. "Where are the others?"

"Off doing saints know what".

"Kaz still ain't budging?" He asked suddenly, his tone a little gentler.

"No," you said shortly and clenched your jaw. Suddenly not wanting to thing about him.

Jesper sighed loudly, "He is one of the most idiotic person I know. He doesn't even seem to realise he's missing out on the best thing that's happened to him".

You smiled at that, it was a small one but nevertheless a smile after all.

"If I wasn't so unbelievably enamoured by messy haired guys who are quite a shot at chemistry, I would've gone for you honestly".

"I'm flattered, Fahey".

"But seriously tho, love. What's his reason for denying you, huh?"

"Kaz thinks we're not good together," you answered abruptly.

"Not good together my ass," he rolled his eyes in utter annoyance. "You deserve so much better than him. I don't understand how you even managed to fall for him".

"Falling for him wasn't falling at all, Jes. It was like walking into a house and just knowing that you're home," you whispered.

And there he was, the hindrance to your concentration, the object of your continuous staring, Kaz Brekker.

He took off his hat, revealing his rather well defined featured that seemed to be sculpted with a help of a knife.

Your eyes took his figure in. Those all black clothes with that unmistakable cane was his entire persona that he had built for himself.

Your gaze softened at the sight of his messed up hair, the few strands that had fallen on his pale forehead making your heart skip a tiny beat.

"You really love him don't you?" You snapped from your staring at Jesper's question."I guess I do," you answered, eyes following him as he walked towards you with what you assumed to be another one of those tasks that he always gave you, just because of the amount of trust he had.

===============================

You claim it's not in the cards and fate is pulling you miles away and out of a reach from me. But you're hearing my heart so who can stop me if I decide, it's on my destiny?

"Fucking hell this idiot of a man," you groaned and ran frantically towards the mount of wounded people.

You had indeed raided one of the most well protected safe of the most dangerous person and there were bound to be major consequences.

Your heart dropped after seeing Wylan lying near a building wreckage and you sprinted despite the throbbing pain in your calf and ignoring the blood flowing down one side of your head and torso.

"Hey," you whispered, getting down to your knees and shaking the boy. "Wylan, come on. I need you, come on wake up," phrases fell from your lips absently.

And he did wake up and you felt as though your feet were back again on solid ground. He woke up, immediately clutching his head and looked around, eyes squinting. "Where are the others?" he said hoarsely.

"Everybody is fine, everyone except for Kaz and we're all looking for him," you murmured, the relief fading away for panic to seize control of your weak heart again.

He immediately noticed your tensed posture and really looked at you, succeeding in reading your internal turmoil.

"Up you get," he suddenly said in an authoritative voice. "We're gonna go and find Kaz right now," he got up and held out his arm for you to grasp.

You simply stared before shaking yourself off and following his lead, glad to have someone to listen to instead of following your stupid thoughts all alone.

The fear in both you and Wylan seemed to increase tenfold after witnessing gruesome scenes all around you. But you both swallowed it harshly and kept a determined spirit, him more than you actually.

Because naturally your heart always seemed to lose its stone cold interior upon the mention of a specific someone.

"Saints," Wylan suddenly came to an abrupt halt and his eyes widened as he pointed to the shed of a shop that was almost on the verge on collapsing entirely. And underneath all of that rubble was Kaz.

"Oh god," was all that escaped your lips and you didn't think before running towards him, not even noticing a large chunk of the ceiling falling om your shoulder.

"Kaz," you said, leaning down in front of him. Your throat burned at his terrible state. His hair completely dishevelled, numerous cuts and blood stains littering his body, eyes half closed as he gazed ahead endlessly.

"Kaz!" You said again and Wylan softly patted his shoulder, accidentally touching his bare skin where the shirt was torn and in the process jolting awake the unconscious boy.

"Good gracious," you prayed and stepped back after seeing the anxiety on his face. "Kaz you have to let me, or you're going to die you bastard," you frowned but waited and turned towards Wylan, "Will you go and tell the others that we've found him? They'll be there at our decided headquarters, just inform them quickly please and get Nina as soon as you can," you instructed and he set off instantly.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and clenched your jaw hard before moving closer and putting one hand behind his shoulders, your heart shattering a little at his sharp intake of breath. "I'm so sorry but I have to do this," you said with a rather broken voice and picked him up.

Halfway through the route he let out a loud groan and you almost dropped him but then steadied yourself and halted.

"What's wrong, Kaz?"

His eyes were scrunched up in pain and it was then that you noticed the bullet which was wedged on the side of his chest and you froze at the sight.

"No no no," your muscles seemed rooted to the spot and the only thought runnung through your mind was that he was going to die. Kaz Brekker was going to die.

"Shit," you muttered and hastened your pace, struggling slightly under the weight of his rather heavy body but you did manage to reach the secret meeting place just in time.

"NINA!" You yelled and placed him on the nearest couch. "NINA!"

She was out in a second, all others following close behind and breathing in sharply at the sight of their leader beaten up so badly.

"Th- There's a bullet through his s- side," you said, panting as suddenly there was a lack of oxygen in the air. "There's a bullet Nina! Quick come on you gotta get it out. You have t- to get it out, quick!"

"Wylan," Nina gestured with her eyes and he understood, gently taking you by the shoulders and pulling you away.

"No! What're you doing?! Wylan stop it!"

"He's going to be okay, let me clean up your wounds too".

"I'm fine! But he's not! He needs me okay? I- I can't leave him lying there like that! I can't- I can't-" you broke off and gulped. Your eyes tearing up as you let yourself be pulled away from him.

But tell me, how is one supposed to survive when their lifeline itself is im danger?

You were sitting in one of the rooms all alone, looking out of the window absentmindedly. Wylan had graciously cleaned and bandaged all your injuries amd you didn't even have the heart to say a simple thanks to him.

Inej had dropped by a few minutes ago with a small plate of food and you hadn't bothered to appreciate her with a small nod.

All that rang through your mind was Nina's conversation with Matthias that you had accidentally overheard.

"There were not one but two bullets, Matthias. And they were the poisonous kind, the ones that work on paralysing and slowly killing the body of the victim. He's taken quite a hit that one".

He's taken quite a hit that one...

A lump welled up in your throat as you mulled over every incident when you were on the brink of losing him forever.

Once when you two were fourteen, once when you were sixteen and now at the very tender age of seventeen, Kaz was slipping through your grasp again.

Fate was constantly pulling you apart, making you go as far as possible from each other but it had been enough now, you simply couldn't handle it.

You swallowed down the burning sensation and went quietly towards the room where Kaz was fighting for his life. Your breath got caught upon seeing his rather peaceful face. No furrowed eyebrows, not a crease on his forehead, he seemed very much at ease.

You took a seat next to him, tears on the verge of falling but you blinked then away stubbornly. You weren't one to cry that easily, but control seemed to jump out of the window whenever he was involved.

"Kaz," you whispered as though he would open his eyes that very second and you would be met with dark brown irises that you so loved.

"Here we are again huh," you murmured and heaved a deep sigh. "Its been what 3 times now that we were in this same scenario?"

You kept on making small talks, it beimg useless towards him but actually helping you to get over your emotions.

"You don't understand the way my heart breaks when you get hurt this badly, Brekker," you said softly. "I've tried to tell you so many times but you're one stubborn asshole aren't you?"

You exhaled and your eyes gazed at his beautiful features, from his sharp eyebrows, to long eyelashes and then to his perfect lips.

"You have to wake up, Kaz. You will," you said firmly. "I don't think I can function properly without you," you looked down at your hands.

"Get well soon, love," you whispered the words and despite being unconscious, rhey ringed in Kaz's ears. Love, you had called him. He felt something brush against his forehead, pushing away strands of hair and tickling him a little.

But then the warm feeling was gone and once again he was alone, cold, and empty.

===============================

What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart, you'll be the one I was meant to find. It's up to you, and it's up to me, no one could say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? And maybe the world could be ours, tonight.

"Saints this is all so ridiculous," Jesper muttered and frowned deeply at the comedic costume that he was supposed to wear. "Couldn't you have gotten something better?"

"You either have the choice to wear it or run around naked, I don't care. All I want is a proper distraction. The choice is yours," Kaz said easily and went back to scrutinising the map placed on the table.

Jesper rolled his eyes but wore the clothes anyways and you snorted making him give you a sharp glare.

"I'll shoot you, I swear," he threatened weakly when you fully cackled. "It's not fair that you get to dress up like a literal princess when I'm here looking equivalent to a clown!"

"I'm afraid you won't make a very pretty princess Jes," Inej smiled as she sharpened her knives with without even looking at them.

"Oh I don't, Inej. He might make a wonderful, lovely girl," Nina piped in and you laughed.

"Enough chatting please," Kaz interrupted your lighthearted teasing making the Heartrender scowl.

"You always have to interrupt the best moments between us don't you?" She glared but the man didn't as much give a shit.

"Wylan you're ready with your explosives? Confident they'll go off exactly when we want them to?" He asked and received a confirming nod.

"We'll leave in about five minutes exactly," he checked his watch and scanned all of the faces staring at his intently. "Off you go then. I want absolutely no detours from anyone, I'm talking especially to you, Jesper," he narrowed his stare to the Zemeni who merely shrugged and grinned.

"Goodluck everybody," he said and they all left for their respective work. "Let's go," he said to you and you got up, instantly feeling uncomfortable in the rather beautiful dress and the heels.

This was new and uncharted territory, something you had never even worn before in your entire life. But you liked it. It didn't match your usual attire at all, but a change at times was welcomed on your part.

You two were invited, or rather you had invited yourselves to the ball that was supposed to take place. It was the perfect opportunity to infiltrate and steal.

"Remember all we have to do is stay for the entire program, we cannot afford any mishaps to happen. No tiny slipups at all or the entire plan goes down the drains," Kaz said as you slowly walked to the venue.

"I know Kaz," you sighed at his nagging. "You can trust me, you know?"

"I know," he said lowly and looked straight up, refusing to make eye contact.

Your eyes flitted to look at his side profile. It was sharp, the streetlights highlighting his carved features and your heart started running at an unbelievable speed.

He had for once ditched his long coat and had instead worn an all black suit with a black tie. And saints did he look amazing. Kaz Brekker seemed to have no idea at just how unsettled and in love you were.

Just as you were about to enter the grand hall, he stopped you and offered his arm. He was also not wearing his gloves, wanting to stay off suspicion as much as possible.

"You sure? We don't have to do this," you said softly but he insisted and you hesitatingly wrapped your fingers around his elbow.

Kaz didn't as such flinch from your touch, which just proved that he did trust you a lot.

"Ah there you are! Mr and Mrs Helvar am I right?" An elderly man beamed at you two and Kaz instantly transformed into a complete stranger in mere seconds.

"Absolutely!" He smiled widely, his lips stretching in an unfamiliar way and you almost cringed at how fake it looked, but that was only because you knew him.

"Alright alright that's enough," you whispered after the host went away to greet someone else. "Please bring back the Kaz I know".

He rolled his eyes and returned to his cool demeanour. You were lounging near the bar, sipping drinks to pass time while also maintaining a strict checking of the area.

"How much longer do we have to stay?" You asked after about an hour.

"The party's only just began. It'll take time I think," he answered and looked around.

"These heels are killing me," you groaned. "I need my shoes back".

He didn't say anything but his jaw had clenched, as it always did when he felt a little helpless and unsure. He glanced at your feet before returning his gaze back to the ballroom.

"Saints he's here again," you said suddenly and he turned to see the same man walking towards you two once again.

"You've been sitting for quite a time now! Come on then let's get you on your feet. Don't keep such a beautiful lady waiting, Mr Helvar," he grinned cheekily, eyes clearly trailing down your body.

"I'll make sure," Kaz answered rather tightly, stepping in between his line of sight and blocking you from his filthy eyes. He looked at you and held out his hand, you stopped for a tiny second before placing your bare palm into his cold one.

He inhaled sharply but at the same time gently pulled you towards the dancefloor, keeping his eyes on the host who seemed to be watching your every move.

"He's just wrote himself a death wish," your fake husband grumbled in annoyance which soon turned into a forced smile after waving at someone.

"Loosen up now, we have to dance," you said and were surprised immensely when his fingers intertwined with yours and his other palm was slowly making its way to be placed on your waist.

He glanced in your eyes and all you offered was a gorgeous smile. That seemed to be all that was required and the tips of his fingers brushed your waist before halting there.

Your free hand was on his shoulder and you two swayed, your bodies closer than ever before. And you thought to youself, you could definitely get used to this.

Not the elegant gown or the grand party, not at all. But these small but significant moments of intimacy with him.

"This is nice," your small whisper broke the silence as you danced, engaged in your own little rhythm. Too occupied with each other to even pay the slightest attention elsewhere.

"It is," he nodded and this time made eye contact without hesitation. The force was so strong and powerful that you couldn't feel anything except for the rapid thumping of your heart.

Everybody else seemed to fade as you two danced the moment away, completely taken by each other as you swayed. And you thought, it wasn't so bad was it.

And Kaz gave you a look which seemed to answer your question, it was as if he had clearly read your mind.

It's not so bad, his eyes reflected and you couldn't stop the small smile which soon fell off after another question had plagued your mind.

'Then why? Why can't we give this a shot? Give us a shot?'

"It's always up to us you know," you murmured suddenly, not bothering to elaborate because you knew he understood it well enough.

"Nobody has a damn say in what the hell we do with our lives. It's always up to you and me," you repeated and smiled tightly.

While he just stared at your face, taking notice of the way your heart was literally shattering in front of him. And all he wanted was to tell you that he loved you too, had been loving you since ages.

But you already knew that, you weren't oblivious for saint's sake. You knew he had fallen as hard for you as you had for him. His problem was that he refused to accept it, for god knows what reason.

===============================

Ahem ahem... do we need a part 2?

Preferably from Mr Brekker's pov? 👀

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”

Song: Rosyln - Bon Iver

For Tolya x Reader please!! could be with Tamar and he overhears etc. or something else x

By Stars - Tolya Yul Bataar

Yes.

Is this sad or angsty, I honestly cant even tell anymore it is my default.

Content Warnings: No Beta/Proof Reading, Feelings???

"This is a celebration," Jesper reminds you, handing you a drink.

You take it, nod at him and hope his attention will return to Wylan, but Tamar is watching you like a hawk. She has been trying to decipher exactly what you're thinking since the burning of The Darkling's body.

She'd rather hoped some of that infectious hope and joy her brother was expressing would have reached you by now. But you were still quiet.

She has her best guess as to why. Tamar, no stranger to romance, to the eyes that linger longer than they should. To the way a heart beats that much faster when they move near. To the way a tone can change when speaking a name. Tolya may be the one to read the high romances of poetry but Tamar is the one to know them, to recognise them.

And you have been holding your breath, keeping your self close, arms tight across your chest, focusing on keeping your heartbeat as calm as you can, trying not to give yourself away.

Tolya smiles at you from his seat and there it is, that leap in your chest and Tamar's guess has all the evidence she needs.

"Okay," Jesper smiles, another drink in, "go on then, read us something you gentle giant."

Tolya laughs and looks up from his book. "From this?" he asks.

"From a confession if you like," Jesper says, leaning back and into Wylan who is watching him with those bright adoring eyes of his. Had you ever had doubt in love, the time spent with the crows would have swayed any doubt. Nina's dedication to freeing her love. The selfless and understanding quiet of the love Kaz and Inej clearly share. And the love that is bright and shining between Jesper and Wylan, so bright even through all of his obliviousness Tolya noticed.

"I still recall the wondrous moment: When you appeared before my sight As though a brief and fleeting omen, Pure phantom in enchanting light," Tolya reads aloud. Wylan turns his eyes from Jesper to smile at Tolya.

"You know I find that quite wonderful," Wylan states.

"Don't encourage him," Tamar groans. "He will start recalling from memory."

"If you insist sister," Tolya's tone is jovial and light and Tamar tries to brush his words away with a hand and a glare, but it does not discourage him. "In ecstasy the heart is beating, Old joys for it anew revive; Inspired and Saints-filled, it is greeting The fire, and tears, and love alive."

"Excuse me," you say getting up. Tolya's eyes follow you as you leave, but it's Tamar who walks out the door behind you.

"You are upset," Tamar says, joining you by the wall outside.

"I am not," you attempt to lie.

"Well I could've told you that isn't true without the ability to listen to your heartbeat," Tamar says. She bumps your shoulder gently, a reassuring gesture, a familiar one. "Talk to me."

"There's not much to talk about," you say.

"Because you're stubborn and want to keep your feelings to yourself or because he is my brother?" she asks out right. You whip your head to the side to look at her and she shrugs it off, giving a knowing look up to the sky. "I am not too wrapped up in the pretty women to ignore those around me."

"Nadia is very pretty," you say, trying you deflect.

"I am surprised you noticed, I thought you only had eyes for my brother."

"I don't have eyes for your brother."

"Oh, and the second lie so far," Tamar says, "come on, you don't have to lie to me, or to you, if it runs that deep."

"I... what is the point?" You ask.

"You have feelings and they're clearly affecting you, that's the point," Tamar says.

"That's my own fault," you say.

"Walk me through it," Tamar insists. You want to tell her to leave it be, but Tamar is persistent. And also brutally honest, so maybe hearing the need to move past and move on from her mouth instead of just the voice in your head will finally do the trick.

"We made it," you say quietly.

"We did," she smiles.

"We... all made it," you reiterate.

"By the Saints."

"And he was so happy and so proud and he had," you inhale deeply, "and he shares that joy so willingly."

"He is always himself," Tamar agrees, her eyes are watching your smaller movements, listening to the shuddering of your breath. She wants to help, to calm you down, to push off your nerves, but you asked long ago for no interference and she respects that. You want to feel what you feel, even now, even when you don't.

"So when he said he was so glad that I was okay, and he wrapped his arms around me, I forgot how to breathe, and for one- blindingly stupid moment I thought... I don't know what I thought, and it doesn't matter because it wasn't real."

"I wouldn't assume to know my brothers feelings so easily," Tamar says, "he might surprise you."

"Tamar, I fell in love with your brother a long time ago, he does nothing but surprise me," you say. Tamar tilts her head impressed at the honesty, impressed more at the bluntness.

"You cannot know his mind without talking to him," Tamar says.

“He doesn't love me. He's not that stupid.”

"To love you isn't stupid," she says, "besides if he did not love you, that would not be about you. I am somewhat convinced my brother is not built that way."

"Between his books and his faith what more could he need?" you ask.

"You're asking the wrong person," Tamar points out.

"I am not asking," you reply, "not really."

He held on just a moment longer than you thought he would, smiling down at you and that was it took for your hopes to jump high above your expectations, and come crashing down into you when he finally let you go. You do not know what you thought would happen, that you would win, all make it out alive and finally the timing would be right, things would be different, you would know it because you would feel it in the way he looks at you. But all you feel is this regret at letting yourself think it would change, letting yourself be disappointed in something that you knew would never happen. Your love for Tolya did not need to be requited but in the moments you hoped it would be, you had broken your own heart.

"For someone who reads so much of romance, with such a true admiration for the poetics of love, my brother is not always aware enough to recognise it, I have watched the same two lovestruck fools dance around each other for the same time that he has, and he has seen nothing where I have seen all that was unsaid but equally wanted," Tamar gestures. "He would not presume to know your feelings for him, because he sees love as something on a page, between the words and the mind. I think he has never considered it as something he might do, but that isn't to say he can't."

"I do not think you give him enough credit, you should have seen him with Jesper and Wylan," you state.

"A blind man could see what was happening between Jesper and Wylan," Tamar offers. "I think you should talk to him."

"I do not wish to waste my time Tamar, and it would be better that he know not at all, keep him in this blissful ignorance instead of him feeling some obligation to be delicate around me," you say.

"My brother would not treat you differently out of pity, his feelings are only ever genuine, and his actions intentional," Tamar defends.

"I do not want him to see me differently, and I do not want to hurt myself further, please let me wallow in peace," you say. Tamar sighs.

"You won't come back inside?" she asks.

"To listen to him read poems about love, show the beauty of romance, and wish for something else?" you ask. "No I shall wait for this feeling to pass, as it will pass, and I can be normal for him again."

Tamar just shakes her head, and says nothing else as she leaves.

You stare up and the sky is so dark and the stars so bright that that ring of light is soaking into the darkness, giving the stars a bigger brighter saturation, and you just want to breathe the cold air in and deep better. But you now just feel alone.

You feel the movement behind you before you hear the approach. "Tamar I have nothing more to say about it," you say.

"Not Tamar," comes Tolya's voice and startles you. You turn to look at him and he is so much closer than you realised, you want to chastise yourself for not noticing, for letting your guard so completely down.

But you were always like that with Tolya.

"I did not mean to upset you," Tolya says.

"How much did you hear?" you ask, leaning back on the balls of your feet, the guilt of all you may have put on him pulling at you. He goes to speak but his eyes give him away. "So everything." You sigh. "it's not your fault Tolya. My feelings are my responsibility."

"And so are mine," he says, coming to stand beside you as Tamar had before him. "You know, for all my love of poetry, I cannot claim to have felt what these poets have in their ways."

"Tolya, you don't have to explain," you say quickly, "I did not mean to put this on you-,"

"You are putting nothing on me," he states.

"I am not asking you to love me," you say, looking at your hands, begging them to stay steady.

"I know you're not, but I am not telling you I don't," he says. You look at him now, and his eyes are soft and golden, and his expression kind and light. He looks like the things poetry talks about, by the light of the starred night. "I care about you, and I don't know if it's in the way you want me to, but I don't know if I have ever felt that way, or if I will ever feel that way, but I need you to know that in my way, in all the ways I know how I do love you." You give him a weak smile and he feels your heartbeat steady for the first time all day. "Maybe I am just that stupid."

"You heard that?" You ask, relaxing enough to allow your shoulders to lean against him.

"I can pretend I didn't if you like," he offers. You laugh, and it's gentle, like the moment.

"I loved you: love may not have died

completely in my soul,

but don’t let it disturb you,

I don’t wish you any pain," you recite, your breath standing cold in the air, but the feeling ever warmer than before.

"I loved you without hope or voice," Tolya continues.

with diffidence, jealousy,

as tenderly, truly, as Saints grant

you may be loved again."

[heartrender6]

horrifyingly angsty fic idea (!!crooked kingdom spoilers!!)

spoilers under the cut

that line "the way you let my mother live" but he actually does. van eck breaks wylans mind and then sticks him at saint hilde. the plan still works out because kaz always has a backup plan, but van eck tells them he killed wylan after getting the plan out of him and the crows think they lost wylan as well as matthias.

kaz knew from the beginning but doesn't try to get him out because he truly believes that it is the best place for wylan to be bc of the state he's in. he goes to visit him every so often to make sure he's being treated well but also because he feels immensely guilty, the same way he blamed himself for jordie's death. he curses himself for feeling that way because he hates admitting that he felt anything for his crows. the truth is that kaz really liked how wylan's stubbornness bled into his hope and the way he refused to let the world beat the goodness out of him but kaz couldn't save him from it forever bc now wylan is stuck in a room with all the life sucked out of him.

meanwhile jesper thinks wylan is dead and is not only completely stricken with grief, but also loneliness. matthias is dead, nina left for ravka, inej is off at sea and the only crows left are kaz and jesper and jesper obviously can't seek any comfort from kaz because... kaz. the other dregs are still his friends ofc but like they just don't understand. they didn't know wylan. and he's lost friends and even lovers before, but this is different because wylan had made him believe they had a better chance and that people could be good but jesper's hope died with wylan.

of course jesper eventually finds out, and is furious with kaz for not telling him. kaz has kept him in the dark before but never about something like THIS. kaz admits that he didn't tell jesper because he thought he was being merciful and feels like he himself would be better off thinking wylan was dead instead of this empty husk of a boy that haunts him just like jordie does. jesper is angry and confused because ??? since when is kaz brekker merciful??

he doesn't know if he can forgive kaz for this so he goes to visit wylan and ofc he's horrified and wants to stick a bullet in his father but mostly he's just unbelievably happy to see him alive and breathing. slowly they work on getting wylan back. it's not easy or linear but it's worth it, even if he may never fully return back to his old self agian. it takes jesper awhile to repair his friendship with kaz but eventually wylan is the one who convinces him that kaz really didn't mean to hurt him and he's sorry. they get wylan and his mom tf outta there and they live happily ever after. the end.

BONUS: the night before the big auction, nina is thinking about how things are gonna change after this and for a brief moment has an intrusive thought: if one of us had to die, i would rather it be wylan. immediately she's horrified at herself. she loves wylan. he's been nothing but kind to her since the day they met. she can picture his sweet eyes turning sad and dejected if he ever heard her say that. then after he "dies", she's freaked out that maybe this was some kind of manifestation of her new death powers and matthias isn't even there to reassure her. the guilt haunts her for the rest of her life, even after she finds out wylan is alive. thanks for reading ;)

[barrel-crow-n]

Stunning addition to my post.

I would also like to talk their relationships with each other. Especially to Kaz.

Kaz has closed himself off completely, becoming cold and cruel which is what he thought was necessary to survive, using his trauma to change himself, to try and become something new, something people fear so that they'll never dare hurt him again. He doesn't want friends, he doesn't want family. He doesn't want love, he doesn't want care. He certainly doesn't want pity. He's cold and emotionless, and a monster.

However Inej still sees good in him. She was hurt and broken and a shadow of her past self but when she saw the darkness, she saw light. In Kaz who is this evil person (hence darkness) she saw light (hope of freedom). And she continues this. She continues to see the good in him even when he tries to show her only his worst. She never gives up on him. And he loves her. Despite all his promises to himself, despite trying to let her go, he loves her. He doesn't want her hurt. He thinks she deserves better - he doesn't give up on her though. He tries to better himself and Inej is patient and waits for him, lets him go at his own pace.

Jesper too, never gives up on Kaz, sees him as a crush, a best friend, and finally something akin to a brother. He calls himself "a hopeful farm boy who chose the worst possible person to care about" but never backs down, never loses that hope that Kaz cares for him too. Which makes him a bad gambler, but a good friend. Even when his and Kaz's relationship is at its worst, he still strives for his affection, his appreciation. And Kaz does trust him. Kaz, who doesn't trust anyone, finds himself having Jesper as his only second in a parley he knew could go badly wrong, has him fire the crucially important shot during the auction (even after saying he can never trust Jesper again). And even when they are fighting, they don't want to hurt each other; Jesper broke Kaz's walls down even without realising. Jesper is closer to Kaz than he realises, than Kaz wants to admit. They are brothers, even if that scares Kaz.

Wylan is what Kaz could have been. He too went through something traumatising and got "reborn" in the water. He could've gone after his father for revenge but he didn't. Wylan is sweet and kind and although far from innocent, he is morally upright and good despite it all. He isn't scared of Kaz. He has reasons to be, but he isn't. Kaz took care of him, for leverage later, but it was still more than what Kaz got. He let Wylan's Barrel life be better than what it otherwise could have been, and he stays in touch. Even if it is by breaking in to his house from time to time.

Nina trusts Kaz. She trusted him to break Matthias out of Hellgate, she trusted him in the Ice Court, she trusted that he could fix everything after Van Eck and Pekka Rollins turned the whole city against them. With Inej's help, she convinced Kaz to help the Grisha; she isn't scared of him, and in fact makes fun of him. He calls her darling sarcastically, and she plays along. His advice plays in her head when she's struggling, and even if she doesn't always heed it (for instance, she doesn't take revenge which is what she knew Kaz would tell her to do) she respects his opinion and obeys his orders.

Matthias started by thinking Kaz is a demon from hell, unnatural and wrong. However, over time, "demjin" started to lose its scorn and hate. He trusts Kaz to take the lead. He trusts Kaz to have a plan and to be able to work it out. He notices things that no one else notices in everyone, but Kaz too. He can see how he does care about the people surrounding him, under 50 layers of sarcasm and snark, and can see the way he loves Inej. He understands that he isn't really a demon, but a boy who was turned into one. And he understands that because it's what happened to him too. The Drüskelle filled him with hate. They made him angry. He understands that something can change a person so drastically they can barely be recognised anymore.

Even their dynamics speak volumes about their characters. How they interact with each other shapes them and tells us a lot about both parties.

Kaz is pessimistic and cruel because of what he went through

Inej still sees good in the world, even the darkest parts of it

Jesper doesn't give up and is unfailingly loyal

Wylan is a good person despite everything he went through, despite other people not being able to do the same

Nina is good at following orders but is also unafraid to be loud and express herself and her opinions. She is unafraid to not follow orders if she thinks that's what's best.

Matthias is perceptive and is able to untangle hate that he harbours inside himself. Yes he did it for grisha but not many people also talk about how he did this with Kaz. At the beginning, when he called Kaz demjin he meant it and it meant he hated Kaz because he was evil, over time, the bite in it faded, until there was little power behind it.

It truly makes for hard choices.

"Its hard to rank the crows because my opinion constantly changes. They are all amazing, complex people and trying to choose a least favourite is pretty much impossible."

"Oh? Well, who's your favouri-"

"Kaz. It's always Kaz. Kaz is never to be toppled from his throne."

[savoies]

dog dad - nico hischier.

summary: nico becomes a dog dad after he starts dating you.

specified pronouns?: nope.

word count: 1k.

warnings: none?

a/n: I am not even sure how this idea came to be but I like it so here it is, enjoy. (shoutout to my abc anon for helping me a bit on this.) also shoutout to @ilyasorokinn because I think that's how i decided on the dog name. (:

Nico liked dogs. Most of his friend's had dogs and when he first arrived in New Jersey he would much rather spend time with the dog at parties than actually socialize. He thought that maybe after settling down in New Jersey he would get one of his own but the time never came. It was either his apartment didn't allow pets, he was never home to take care of another life, or his life wasn't stable enough until he met you.

You guys met through a mutual friend. It was a party where Nico was socializing with the dog, your dog to be exact. Nate and Jesper were going to Nate’s girlfriend's house for a get together and they had invited Nico.

She was your roommate and had suggested the idea of a get together. Now you weren't the fondest of her get togethers since they usually ended up with around thirty people in your small Newark apartment but said yes to this one since she always told you to let loose and be more open to meeting new people, you would much rather have the people come to you than actually have her drag you to go to a club or something like she had done before.

Nico had only agreed because he was stressed. There had been rumors of him being named captain and of course he was excited to see where this would take him in his hockey career but also worried that he wasn't captain material. So now he was here surrounded by people he didn't know drinking something out of a red solo cup and trying to find a space where he could be somewhat alone.

He found a spot outside on the balcony and decided that since there were already a few solo cups out there the party hosts wouldn't mind him sitting out there if he wasn't disturbing anyone. He was appreciating the view the apartment had to offer and heard some panting at his feet. He looked up and there stood a golden retriever. Probably only about a few years old.

“Oh hello buddy, too loud in there huh.” he said as he rubbed behind the dogs ears. He knew the dog probably did not understand one word he was saying but at least they agreed on one thing, outside was much better than inside. He kept on talking to the dog and the dog seemed to be enjoying Nico’s company, well mostly him petting it but still.

~~~

You had locked Pepper in your room. Knowing that all the new people would overwhelm her so you decided that your bedroom was the best spot for her to get situated. Yet as you opened the door to find the small golden retriever all you found was two people making out. You definitely had to wash your sheets after that.

After yelling at them to get out and asking if they had seen your dog you ventured back to the living room.

"Pepper, Pepper… has anyone seen a dog around?" You asked, calling her name seeing if she would come to you or bark to signal that she was nearby.

You soon made it outside and there sat your dog wagging her tail as a very cute stranger petted her.

"You know she usually doesn't get along with people she just met." You spoke up causing Nico to look up in your direction.

"Guess we connected." He replied back to you.

"I guess so." You said as you sat down next to the cute stranger and your dog.

"Her name is Pepper." You smiled at him. Trying to make some sort of conversation since you did agree to this get together because you were supposed to meet new people. So why not converse with the dude petting your dog.

"Well can I just say that Pepper might be my new best friend." He said, causing both of you to let out a laugh.

You talked into the night. Soon learning his name and what brought him to a house party in the middle of Newark. Both realizing that Pepper might be trying to do something here you guys agreed to meet up later in the week, of course for Pepper's sake. Both of you guys with a smile on your face as the night ended.

~~~

Nico was obsessed with Pepper the second he met her. And after you guys started dating that obsession just grew. Whenever he was home he would send you photos of her and him which you found adorable and loved that he grew to love her so fast. Jesper always joked how she basically was your guy's child. And I mean that was basically true. He loved taking her on adventures and out to the doggy park. Honestly you were glad Pepper wound up outside that day because if it wasn't for her you would have never met Nico.

~~~

You had moved in with Nico a few months after dating. Both of you weren't the type to move fast but this just seemed like the right thing to do in your guys' relationship.

You had gone out with Nate's girlfriend since you guys were still friends even if she "felt heartbroken that you left her for him." Of course she was joking and was actually happy for you. Always saying that if it wasn't for her doing that get together you and Nico would have never met. Coming back home you found Nico and Pepper on the couch with a show rerun playing on the tv. Putting away what you got you soon realized that both of them were asleep, soft snores coming from both of them.

You decided to let him sleep since he was probably tired from his early practice so you turned off the TV and snapped some quick photos before you went to try and clean up the apartment since there wasn't much to do without waking them up. Soon he woke up causing Pepper to jump off the couch and run up to you.

"Hiya buddies. How was your guys' day?" You asked as you petted her.

"Hi babe why didn't you wake me up?" He asked as you came over and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Well you and Pepper looked too cute and I know you were probably tired anyways. Tell me about your guys day." You said as both of you sat on the couch with Pepper in between. I guess Jesper was right, she basically was your child.

.☆☆☆.

taglist: ​( send in ask if you want to be added) ​@hartsyhart @nhlpetey @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @marohares  @aria253264  @josty @kaitieskidmore1 @alxvlasic @hockeyallthetime @all-hail-cale @martynecass @joshsandersons  @jessebisonking @maattamatthews @joelsfarabees @boqvistsbabe @ana-maa @stars-canucks @bordeleau @ilyasorokinn @2manytabsopen @wildflowermarns @rutgersmcgroarty @shanerwright @kindaahockeyblog @b-brz @bbrissonn @kniesys @calermakar08

[swanimagines]

Hey there! I love your fics (especially the ones of SaB) and i'm wondering if you are open to do a drabble of Kaz Brekker and a GN reader with Another Love by Thomas Odell. Congrats on 2k, you deserve everyone of them 🥰

Fandom: Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows

A/N: The song sounds like this piece should end in breakup but as I don't write full angst anymore, I came up with another solution. Also why is Y/N a bartender at the Crow Club in my every fic where they're not a Crow or a Dreg... 😂

Word count: 668

You were something Kaz had believed he would never meet, or even could. He was the monster in shadows, the reason why children weren't allowed to go out at night if they were unfortunate enough to live in the Dreg area. And yet you had appeared into his life, treating him like any other Dreg. Smiling at him, making up small talk and just... looking at him as if he was a human, not that evil demon everyone seemed to think he was, and from which he had taken pride of.

The very fact that your presence made him happy scared the hell out of him. Feelings were dangerous, and he knew that if you would die on a job, it would feel like his world collapsed on itself, because without you there, he wouldn't know how to keep himself sane. So he was rude to you instead, dismissing your opinions and inputs completely, even telling you to shut up a few times.

"You're not a Crow nor a Dreg, you're here to serve us drinks, I don't need to hear your opinion," he'd say, followed by you sighing. Inej noticed the regret flashing in Kaz's eyes when he said that, but said nothing on the spot. Nina heard his heartbeat and Jesper knew his best friend enough to know if he meant something or not - and when Kaz was like that to you, he definitely did it to hide something. It was a show, he tried so hard to be coldly impassive about it all.

Soon all the Crows knew exactly how Kaz felt about you, and they admired how you seemed to keep your bright face up even when Kaz was acting like an ass to you. Jesper wanted to tell Kaz to stop playing and try to show you how he feels, Nina made teasing remarks about his heart and Inej tried to talk him into apologizing to you at night when she brought information. They were all waiting for him to finally realize what a fool he was being, but he was too stubborn to give in to them.

Kaz couldn't understand why he cared for someone who had no benefit to him. When a drunk got into a fight with you when you didn't agree to let them drink more, he was always there to throw them out before they'd lay their hands on you. He saw you get hit with a bottle once and you had gotten a wound on your head, Kaz was just about to go over and help you as the first person but managed to stop himself when he saw Nina and Jesper already on the way. It was better that way, him helping you in front of everyone wouldn't have had ideal consequences, he would have been seen as weak if he had done that. And not to speak of him trying to hide his feelings from you, what would you think if he had just appeared beside you and offered to help you after trying to act like he doesn't care for so long?

But still, he couldn't help but want to take you somewhere beautiful so you'd have a hint of how he felt about you, maybe he could even tell you how he feels, or buy you... flowers?

He wanted to love you, but he wasn't sure if he ever could show it to you. He wanted to make you feel alright when he found you crying in the back room instead of just standing there for a moment and then leaving. He wanted to be able to comfort you, hug you, kiss the top of your head and mumble comforting words against your skin, but he knew he wasn't ready for anything like that.

But someday, he would be. Someday you could become his friend, more than friend, he would be more than just your boss, and maybe someday he would be able to show his love like he wanted to show it...

---

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[manikas-whims]

Troublesome New Girl

Sequel to A Place Good Enough

[Read on AO3]

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker

Summary: Inej has newly joined the Dregs. She goes to return Kaz's coat in the presence of many members. *cue the teasing & jokes*

Jesper meets Inej & evidences of Jesper's crush on Kaz (tiny bit of angst).

Kaz is his usual self & sets an example. A violent one :)

Note:

I just noticed this complete written fic has been sitting in my drafts for a month now. I'm so dumb 〒_〒

PLEASE DO READ THE PREVIOUS PART IN THIS SERIES TO UNDERTAND THIS SEQUEL.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Inej

The constant noise of banging against wood rouses Inej from her sleep. She looks around haphazardly only to find herself lying on a cot in an unknown room, her torso covered by a grey coat. Sun's rays blind her eyes momentarily as she turns her face, an open window staring back at her, not the daunting walls of the Menagerie. Memories of the previous night flood back and her shoulders deflate in relief. She takes a long breath to calm her rapidly beating heart. She doesn't need to endure Heleen's beatings or sell her body anymore. She is free of that life. Free.

“Oi new girl!” a voice calls, followed by more knocking at the wooden door to her small room. “Brekker told me to bring you some clothes. I’m leaving a pair out here.”

Right! Kaz Brekker had promised her better clothes. She leaves the comfort of the cot but by the time she unlocks the door to thank whoever was on the other end, the person is gone. She catches a short glimpse of a feminine figure with blond hair at the stairs and vows to thank her later. Picking up the clothes, she closes the door.

Jesper

When Jesper had heard his fellow Dregs gossiping about Dirtyhands bringing back a girl with him late at night, he hadn’t given it much thought. He had ignored Anika when she had said that she was literally asked by Kaz himself to provide the said girl with some clothes. In fact, he had completely shooed away anyone who came up to fill his ears with rumors about this unknown Suli girl and the bastard of the barrel. So when a small, bronze-skinned girl bumps into him on the third floor of the Slat, he's stunned.

"Ohhh—", The girl waves her hands frantically, her pupils dilating in concern, "I'm sorry."

But Jesper doesn't bother with apologies for he's too busy appraising her. Now she does match the rumored descriptions and is even donning Anika's lame clothes. But what actually piques his interest is a neatly-folded coat in the deepest shade of grey held between her dainty hands. He doesn’t need to think long to guess who it belongs to. There’s only one person who doesn’t indulge in the colorful fashion sense of the barrel— Kaz “Dirtyhands” Brekker.

He feels his insides fuming. But no way is he going to act like an idiot and jump to conclusions. Just because here's a girl he’s never seen before and she happens to have a coat, doesn’t mean that every single narrative he's heard about this whole situation is true.

He narrows his eyes in what he assumes is his best look of suspicion as he towers over the girl. “Where did you get that?”

"Um", she looks down at the piece of clothing and mumbles in the most innocent tone, "Mr. Brekker lent it to me."

Mr. Brekker!? The hell kinda way is this to address a man you slept with? Or whatever the heck it is that Dirtyhands prefers to do with girls..

"Why?" he asks. From Jesper's experiences, the young lieutenant of the Dregs isn't big on kindness. "Why did he lend it you?"

The girl's brows narrow in thought. It seems she herself is unsure of the reason. Her left palm clutches her right forearm in apprehension. "I guess..because I wasn't in a very decent attire."

Alarms go off in Jesper's head again. What exactly happened between her and Kaz? His heart needs answers yet he knows that its none of his business so he suppresses the unease welling in his belly.

"Well Kaz is up there." He gestures in the direction of the attic. "I'm headed there right now so I can give it to him."

The girl frowns. "I can't let a stranger do that for me. Besides," she twirls a strand of her hair, her eyes alight with some indescribable emotion, "I must properly thank him myself."

Jesper is familiar with this look. It mirrors his own when he was still a newbie at the Dregs and wanted to prove himself, wanted to repay Kaz for saving his ass. And not just by helping him pluck stupid pigeons but also by adding extra sums of profits to his ledger. Jesper can empathize with her on this.

"He saved you too," The Zemeni asks carefully, "didn't he?"

She stares at him, gauging the understanding in his expression and simply nods.

He rubs the side of his neck awkwardly. "Well, wanna go up together?"

Her eyes widen and she involuntarily takes a few steps back. Distrust. Fear. He can empathize with this action as well. In the barrel, it'd be foolish to believe a complete stranger within few moments of the first encounter.

"Then," he smiles the smile that many have called charming and starts his ascend upstairs. He only looks back once to wink at her, hoping it'll quell her anxious mind a bit, "follow my lead?"

"I can do that." she mumbles, more to assure herself and takes the first step of many that will become the foundation to their sibling-like friendship.

Kaz

When it comes to change, development and fresh ideas, Per Haskell always cowers and dismisses the topic. People like that will never achieve anything if they aren't willing to take risks. The restoration of that abandoned fifth harbour would already be in motion if Kaz hadn't chosen to waste another of his precious mornings trying to convince his boss that investing in it may prove fruitful to the Dregs. And so, after a pointless argument he had had earlier with the old man, he's decided to take matters into his own hands.

Huffing audibly, he continues explaining every member present in his room their respective job for the day. The boisterous throng huddled around him, begins dispersing all of a sudden. Curiously, Kaz looks up to find his faitful right-hand man Jesper Fahey walking in, a mischievous glint in his silver irises.

"We bumped into each other on our way up here." Jesper gestures behind him.

And it is then that Kaz notices her presence— Inej Ghafa, the strange Suli girl he had brought back from the West Stave. Oddly, he had felt her presence moments ago but had brushed it off as a mere byproduct of his rest-deprived mind playing tricks on him. Turns out his intuition hadn’t been wrong at all.

"Its that Suli girl."

"The one that Brekker took up to his bed?"

"Who would've thought Haskell's rabid dog had such exquisite tastes."

The one that Brekker took where? Haskell's rabid what? Kaz isn't sure which remark he finds more insulting towards his reputation. Although he does realise he has no one except himself to blame. He should'nt have let the girl follow him up to the attic last night. As usual, he'll have to cover this small err with fresh tales about himself that are even more gruesome than the previous ones. But for now he must find out why the new girl is here.

Anika’s clothes are baggy on her small frame— a deep green shirt so loosely-fitted that she has tied its ends into a double knot just above her belly-button whilst the fawn-colored trousers hang tastefully around her hips. He watches her long, silky hair sway behind her as she walks gracefully in his direction, determination glimmering in her dark brown irises. Shock briefly flits across his gaze but before he can even think of stopping her, she shoots out her hands in which he (dreadfully) recognizes, she’s holding his coat. He can feel all eyes in the room already settling on him. They collectively stare in a mix of shock, curiosity and..is this jealousy he's witnessing on a few faces?

"What do you think you're doing?" He grits out. He hears a muffled snickering which he's sure is Jesper's and wonders if the two somehow managed to become friends in the short span of their climb up the stairs. And that they both planned this prank together on their way.

However, Inej only furrows her brows, debunking his ridiculous theory. She seems to be wondering what she's done wrong as she answers confidently, "I forgot to return it last night."

More interested staring ensues. The new pen in his palm snaps.

Is this girl serious right now? It took him long, unrelenting years to rise to the position he's at. He's spilled his blood, sweat and tears to scatter the seeds of terror about him throughout the expanse of Ketterdam. Even people who come across him for the first time, visibly shiver and turn pale. So what part of their last conversation has given her this courage to approach him so casually? She seems to have forgotten the fact that he’s an infamous barrel thug, feared by merchers, stadwatch and gangsters alike. She isn’t supposed to saunter up to him and return his coat, making this whole exchange appear to be a scandalous affair to the curious bystanders. She isn't supposed to crumble Dirtyhands' hard-built reputation with just a few words!

"Stand aside, I'm busy." He mutters, because he truly has no idea how to get out of this predicament and hopes that his caustic tone will get the message across just like it does with everyone else.

To his utter dismay, Inej seems to be far more tactless than Jesper, who still hasn't stopped snickering. She tucks the coat back in her arms and bites her lip as if suppressing herself from saying something mean. Her eyes quietly regard his own, an unspoken understanding settling between them. She is aware that if she doesn't wish to be thrown back into the Menagerie, she must behave properly with him. And yet, her nostrils flare as she responds, "I just wanted to pay my gratitude-"

"You can pay your gratitude," Kaz hisses back, glaring up at her from his perched position, "with your services." And its only after uttering those words does he realise the ambiguous implications hinted in them. Jesper's shoulders are shaking uncontrollably now, his palms tightly clamped around his mouth to muffle his laugh.

"Slow down, Dirtyhands." comments someone from the back and the whole room bursts into a howl of laughter. Inej brings a palm to her lips, gasping in mortification.

Kaz massages his eyes. Dealing with these ruffians has already been a headache. Now this new girl just walks in and takes the cake. She's proving to be far more dangerous– scratch that– far more more troublesome than he had expected.

He lets them have their fun as he pulls out a knife from his coatsleeve and gets up. He ambles towards Dirix, his steps slow and deliberate. He's sure it was Rotty who'd made the joke but Dirix is standing closer and it doesn't really matter who said what. Dirtyhands just needs to set an example.

The young boy is suddenly looking very pale. Kaz grabs his right hand, the dominant one and digs the blade along the joints of his fingers. The knife easily tears through his skin and goes deeper into the muscle beneath. Dirix is now screaming whilst everyone else hold their breath. From his peripheral vision, he catches the horror on Inej's face and rolls his eyes. Surely she must've heard of his violent endeavors at the menagerie. She shouldn't have approached him in the first place if she's going to be so shocked everytime he spills someone's blood.

He roots out the knife before it can completely sever Dirix's limbs. "Get 'em patched up." The boy is already running out.

He walks back and tosses the knife to the desk, its loud clang making everyone flinch in fright. "Pipe down before I actually start chopping tongues."

The threat silences everyone.

"This is Inej Ghafa." He points at her and the girl cowers slightly. Not at all the abrupt attention on her, he notices, but from him. "She's to be a new spider."

This one simple statement seems to piece together everything for them. Though he has an inkling that his previous act of brutality also plays a major part. They nod and whisper amongst themselves. He almost scoffs. Of course its easier for them to believe that Kaz Brekker took up a girl to his room for information. Not some spicy dalliance.

"Now get to work." He orders and one by one they shuffle out of the room, Rotty nodding respectfully. He knows he was spared merely by luck.

Jesper is the last one. He winks at Inej before taking his leave. "See you around, new girl!"

And with all of them gone, Kaz turns to Inej. She inhales a breath in anticipation.

"Let's start your training."

So hopefully that was as fun reading as it was for me writing :3

Coming parts will have Inej's training and ofc her picking her canon outfit.

.

SoC Masterlist

( divider by @firefly-graphics )

[bookishbunnies]

Oh gosh, okay, I honestly didn't realise anyone would actually read my posts but I will take any excuse to keep talking about Jack Wolfe, Wylan, and Jesper 😅 here's the scenes from episode 3

First off, just his adorable serious look he has on most of the time, which fits so perfectly coz he's trying to look like he belongs there, but he has no fucking clue what's going on. He's been thrown into this chaotic mess of people, so very different to the situations he grew up with, and you can see him constantly looking between everyone's faces, concentrating, trying to figure them all out, trying to figure out the social cues and rules

(Honestly it feels so fucking familiar, it's such an incredible representation of an autistic person, and its all done so subtly, even when he's not the focus of the camera you can see him concentrating on everyone else's faces, what they're doing, trying to work it all out and understand)

And when he's explaining stuff, that isn't exactly relevant, but he has the knowledge and he wants to share it, he's always looking to Jesper, to see if he's listening, to see if he's even interested in what he's saying, coz he loves sharing his knowledge and he wants to share it with Jesper

The slow turn of his head, open mouth, tiny huffed laugh at the end, you can see the slow realisation that Jesper is definitely intending on going inside the house (where they find Rollins kid) when jesper asks so curiously 'what are those guards guarding'. It's like you can see his thought process of 'hang on a sec, no, you don't mean' and 'of course he means he's going inside, and of course I'm going with him'

And his little head nod/shake/movement when Jesper says 'break ins the best part'. He's like of fucking course it is. This is exactly why he didn't remember me, this man has never thought a single thing through in his life

Also, I've mentioned it before, but just the constant always looking to jesper for guidance/reassurance on what they're doing/where they're going

And how his face immediately lights up as soon as he sees the piano. Like he'd been glancing st jesper but as soon as he saw that piano that was his whole focus, he was in awe

And the sound in his voice when he said 'well you didn't remember me', like he'd accepted that fact, he was resigned to it, so of course he didn't mention it

Also, this one's not subtle, but oh gods I love the look of sheer terror on his face when the kid walks in 😂

And yet again, he looks to Jesper to find out what they're doing, how he should act during this encounter. But he sees Jesper moving slightly and immediately looks down to his gun, glances at jesper a few more times and realises that Jesper has no idea how to get out of this peacefully, he's already reaching for his gun, which is when he makes the very quick decision to step in and lie their way out. Which he's probably had to do quite a lot recently, lie about where he's from.

And even while he's taking control and talking he's still glancing towards Jesper, to gain the reassurance that he's doing the correct thing

And its a bit weird for the scene coz he doesn't know Jespers a durast yet, but he seems to have complete faith in Jesper being able to find a solution to their problem of not having a piano wire. He informs him so matter of factly that they do not have a wire. But when Jesper gives him a lil nod he accepts it, walks away a little bit, and smiles, coz he trusts Jesper. He doesn't look worried, but he does somehow manage to glance at jesper several more times in the space of a couple of seconds while walking away from him 😂

Tho when Jesper does manage to fix it so quickly he's definitely confused, although I think right after this is when he figured out Jespers a durast for sure

And my God, when the kid plays so horribly 😂 the woman starts wincing immediately, Jesper makes a dace immediately, but you can see him try to keep a straight face for longer, he knows what it's like for a kid to suck at something, and he knows they need encouragement. As it goes on tho he looks shocked that it's that bad, looks towards to woman for confirmation that the kid is fucking terrible, and then allows himself to wince, coz yeah, it heckin hurts his ears. I also find it very interesting that he's the kind of person to close his eyes during that, whereas Jesper is making faces but keeping his eyes open the whole time. It shows the difference between them, jesper knows to always keep an eye on your surroundings, but Wylan just doesn't have that experience yet, that paranoia yet

And omg he looks so sweet when he sits down to play. He's excited to share his skills, and he's excited to play the piano that made his face light up the second he saw it

He gets so much softer and more confident as he's playing too. You can see him switch back as soon as he finishes, going from smooth and confident back to kinda awkward and unsure, and yet again, immediately looks to Jesper for reassurance and to see his reaction

The way he relaxes when Jesper agrees with him about not telling Kaz, I think for two reasons, getting confirmation that he was saying the right thing, this this doesn't make him stand out as obviously not from the barrel, and also just from relief, coz he really does mean what he's saying, he doesn't want kaz to hurt the kid

This little awkward lean in he does to Jesper when he asks him he's worried about him will live rent free in my head for the rest of my life. It's the cutest little bobble, just in but then immediately back out like he's unsure of how close he can get

The little look of disbelief that crosses his face when jesper is talking about it not being his fight, and that he didn't know what he was getting into. He's like yeah I didn't but I knew I'd get to see you more so fucking obviously I'm gonna hang around

And Jespers words affect him, coz he knows they're correct. But he pushes past that quickly, straightens up and acts more confident (honestly probably coz he doesn't want jesper to realise he's literally agreed to all this just coz he wants to spend more time with Jesper)

And like yes Jesper, he absolutely is walking away for dramatic effect, which is awesome, and def accurate to the sassy book Wylan we know, and yet he still can't do it fully, he still glances back towards Jesper

The shock on his face upon walking in and seeing kaz in the state he's in. The others wouldn't question it, it's not that out of place, but wylans still new so he's shocked. He didn't grow up around people who got injured so much all the time.

The way he's trying to be confident in front of Kaz but immediately averts his eyes as soon as Kaz mentions the boy

And he's looking so expectantly at Jesper while Kaz asks for the kids name. At first you can tell he's expecting Jesper to keep to their deal, to not tell Kaz, but as jesper hesitates you can see him get more worried. And when jesper does say the name he tries to keep his face straight but it breaks slightly, you can tell he was surprised that jesper told kaz, that he felt betrayed, hurt.

The way he kinda stutters over telling Kaz that alby can't help who his father is. Which only makes sense if you've read the books and know what Wylans family is like. The way his voice changes and hesitates as he says 'father',nwe know he's thinking of his own, that he's not just talking about alby, but also himself

Okay, just realised I've been up for almost 24 hours now coz I got up early to watch s1 right before s2 😅 gonna sleep before I continue, which is probably a good thing coz I know full well I can talk about a certain episode 4 scene for fucking ever 😅

Now that I've finished I'm going back and rewatching most of the wesper scenes, taking more time. And my gods I'm so glad I am. Wylans facial expressions at everything is fucking top tier.

The way he looks at Jesper everytime he's trying to figure out where/how they've met before

The little shake of his head, the face of absolute 'oh ffs' when Jesper asks if they'd met before when talking on the carriage about how Kaz found Wylan at the tannery

The absolute terror on his face when Alby walks into the room. Wylan, it is simply a kid, you don't have to be terrified 😅

The wincing at the kid playing the piano 😂 yet trying to be so supportive 😂

The way he looks up at Jesper after playing the piano

The little lean in and back when he asks Jesper if he's worried about him 😍

The way he's looking at Jesper so concerned, trying to figure out if he's gonna give Kaz the kids name. And the subtle look of betrayal and Jesper does

The look and the little silent 'what??' when Jesper refers to him as a total stranger

The little look and emphatic nod when Jesper finally realises they have met before while laying on top of him under the carriage

The look of 'are you fucking kidding me' when jesper mentions the stroopwaffles

Look I could go on, but that's gonna be way too fucking long a post 😅