#but ive been meaning to find these post anyway for reference when i do start writing them so im glad i did

[blkkizzat]

Omg we getting a virgin jjk series ?! 😫 we dont deserve u kaliiii

Yes! Back in June y'all told me there wasn't enough virgin/nerd fics [here & here & here]. And also did a poll for what order y'all wanted them in [here].

Nerd!Geto & Otaku!Gojo will be part of that though, so while I'm doing part 2s for there won't other stories, those count for them lol.

Then I had a request for virgin!nanami

Then got a brainchild for virgin!toji, and another ask here

And I already had a request for virgin!choso sitting in my inbox.

Bunny will be apart of it too and get a virgin!reader x fratboysatosugu from an ask thats been rotting in my inbox for months. I gave a little teaser here.

No one requested Sukuna [LOL] but I have an idea for him, that's a twist ;P (keeping that idea hushhush lol)

[soularsss]

Drawing Likeness: with Tem!

okaay since a few people actually showed interest in me sharing a bit of what I've been doing to figure out how to really capture likeness, specifically Temuera Morrison, I figured id do my best to write it out

I am also going to entice you with some of my recent clone art! (oooh some of it is unreleaaasedd)

I am putting the whole thing under the cut because I have a feeling its going to be long:

Read more!!!

a couple disclaimers before we start

-This is not some definite post about how everyone should be drawing clones, nor is it in any way claiming that this is the right way. This is just my musings as I stare at a mans face for way too long and try to replicate it

-I am inexperienced. As kind as you all are to me, drawing real people is relatively new to me, capturing a persons identity through their features is difficult for anybody, and I am no different. I have watched many a video on likeness and had my share of classes, but If im being honest, i rarely put it into practice successfully. So there'll probably be errors in this post or things i will come back to in a few months and wish I had said/done differently

ANYWAYs you guys get my vibe im just here to ramble and today we are rambling about mr copy paste. I am doing this for Law, my clone boy, because I plan on delving further into oc fanart and I want to put effort into representing him correctly!

SO LETS BEGIN

Before even deciding what specific pose of a person I want to draw, I tend to grab a bunch of references and compile them like so

(all of these can be found on my pinterest)

Why so many? Well, we are about to delve into facial features, so when we are dealing with photos we have to take into account that there are an abundance of circumstances that will influence how a persons face will appear, some of these include:

focal length: All of these are taken on different devices, and focal length can play a big part in distorting faces

age will play a part, your face changes a bunch throughout your life!

lighting, while not as major, can muddy the waters and make it difficult to interpret facial planes and features

SO, to make sure we get a proper grasp of what's really going on, I like to make sure we have lots of options to compare and contrast with.

Next up! What I like to do is block out the main facial features with colour on different layers, the features I block out usually are the general face shape, eyebrows, eyes, nose and lips. But what you are looking for is the defining features of a person, so that could include other things! Maybe a scar, or some particularly prominent cheekbones.

I dont have any rhyme or reason when it comes to picking my colours, all that matters is you can see all the shapes clearly.

Now I may be biased, because Ive been staring at these for 4 hours, but notice how it still looks like Tem? :D

Anyways, now we can break these parts down, and you'll see what I mean about compare and contrast:

We'll start with isolating the facial shape, putting all these next to eachother you'll notice they arent exactly the same (partly because of my shoddy work) But the distinguishing features run through each shape! Namely the very soft rectangular shape I sketched out in the bottom right there. Along with his soft, wide jaw structure.

I did the same for the rest of his features!

You'll notice I highlight the prominent shapes and ratios,

When drawing anything, it is important to start from the very base shapes and build up.

When drawing something you want to look like someone, those shapes relative to other shapes is what makes it look like them.

I didnt use the same technique with his eyes and lips, but I wrote out some helpful info for them! More importantly for his eyes.

When drawing eyes, I find the most important part is where exactly I draw the creases, (along with the overall shape of the eye itself) it is important to understand where those will present themselves with hooded eyes.

NOW, with an understanding of his facial features in place, lets take a detour to colours:

before I start, a couple things to note:

-Temuera morrison versus the clone troopers in the animated shows:

While I love the animated shows they don't exactly stay close to their source material. Im going to link here to an excellent post discussing whitewashing specifically in relation to the clones.

Temuera is Māori, of Te Arawa (Ngāti Whakaue) and Tainui (Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Rarua) whakapapa, and also has Scottish and Irish ancestry.

The Māori people are the indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand (Aotearoa). Māori originated with settlers from East Polynesia. Māori people often vary in skin tone, Skin colour doesn't determine ethnicity. There's often a correlation but it's not a requirement.

But that is a tangent! What we are aiming for is to stay true to Temuera.

Bringing back my reference photos from before, Ive colour picked a buncha values and theyre all over the place. Why doesnt this work?

Similarly to earlier, you have to take into account the photos themselves. Many things like lighting, colour grading (when it comes to filmography) and makeup, can alter how a skin colour presents in photo.

You can attempt to get true to life by swatching from certain places on the face. Here I've tried to pick some photos with good lighting, and I've also tried to avoid overly lit/shaded areas.

Tem has a very warm, tan skin tone, Instead of colour picking I tend to try and replicate it myself, but I do often bring in references to make sure Im staying true to the source!

a brief intermission to talk about colour theory, something I myself struggle with alot. Often, when putting in flat colours without a background, I will forget to make sure the colours i intend to use will work with the skin tone i have picked! (something that is apparent in older works of mine, not just in relation to clones, but in general, the colours I end up with stray largely from their original sources and it is something I am doing my best to keep in mind and improve in! Although I don't think i am nearly experienced enough in the topic to say I have succeeded yet lol.)

anyways back to Tem :))

Now we can put all of that into practice! Things to keep in mind when drawing out a piece next to a reference like this:

the distance between the eyebrows? how far down his face does his nose go? Basically just, in relation to eachother, where do all those shapes we found earlier, sit?

The screenshot above is from before I did it myself, but instead of directly tracing from the reference, a handy trick I use it to complete your sketch first, and then overlay a traced version to see where your inconsistencies are! Alternatively, you could move your sketch over the image, but I didnt do it that way so!! uh!! im sure it works exactly the same!!!!

When it comes to a final illustration, or any sketch that isnt a direct study, of course you can push and pull and stylise! You'll see below that I'm not exactly 1:1 to my reference photo either.

The important thing with stylisation, or at least my own personal understanding of stylisation is that you need to thoroughly understand the thing you are stylizing! "You need to know the rules to break them" and all that. While shapes, lines and rendering can change, when it comes to drawing someone, and making it look like them, you have to make sure to keep their core features true to source. Caricature can capture a persons vibe whilst drastically exaggerating features, but it will only look like them if you KEEP THOSE FEATURES!!!! SHAPES!!! AHHH!!

But that is just my perspective on the discussion of style versus realism, please dont take is as Law, I dont know what Im on about half the time!!

anyways, after fixing your sketch, add local colours!

I rexified him because why tf not! But this is where you can go crazy with that clone personalization!

And then here is a very very barely rendered version (if you guys want me to explain how i RENDER that would need to be a completely different post, and I havent had anyone ask about it yet so who knows! maybe one day) But I digress, hopefully you learnt something new through my ramblings! It has certainly helped me organize my thoughts and I have also found some areas I would like to focus more on in the future to improve my own art!

TLDR: In order to understand an object, be it a face or a building or literally anything, you have to break it down to its simplest forms, understanding LARGER shapes will help you immensely in the long run

If you guys like this sorta content do let me know! I'd be down to do similar things for armor/anything really, I am very anti gatekeep so really anything at all you want to know! Send me an ask :))

also if you see a spelling mistake.. i don’t know how that got there

[the-moon-files]

Alright, so I just read through that language barriers post of yours and had a Blast Tm, BUT! Now I have several thoughts that need to be spoken. Firstly, what with english being this really ancient language now, yn‘s basically got a free phd in hyrule, don‘t they?? Predestined for exploration because of their „excellent skills with the language used in the ruins and temples of old, as well as their familiarity with the mechanisms“ or something. The ruin researchers probably beg to have them in their team.

Secondly, apparently accents are really appealing to some people? The chain already finds yn‘s morning voice really hot, but how would they even react to the way they sort of mispronounce the words? Idk too much about how japanese sounds, but maybe they emphasize the consonants too much which makes them sound harsh all the time, or the opposite, too much emphasis on vowels and sounding very soft. Just… brainrot about rambling and not trying too hard to speak perfectly accurately being all it takes to have the boys smitten and kicking their feet.

Thirdly!! What about a yn that knows multiple languages? The chain tries their best to learn english, and then yn comes around the corner like SIKE. THAT‘S NOT ALL OF THEM. YOU WILL NEVER COMPREHEND IT ALL. (That‘s what I‘d do at least.)

sorry for late reply i have a hectic life rn and i got hit by hurricane helene lol

ao3/writing blog author curse is so real u guys, this was like a 100 year not anticpated flood or smth, also we're in the mountains??

anyway gonna assume u mean masc/male reader bc of the reference to this post!! if u want context or a sorta part 1

this is just gonna be a quick reply so i can share anons ideas w/the world tho since ive been hoarding asks 😔

at the very least Wild's Zelda is harassing you

at the very most, every time u guys get near a town or city, u are kidnapped by hylian researchers

just the image of a bunch of nerd hylians mobbing u and fangirling while the rest of the guys, in full armor and swords just stand awkwardly behind lmao

(they get lowkey jealous after awhile i mean what who said that-)

the way Legend, Hyrule, Four, and Twi hover a little closer when you talk

Wild and Twi are practically like excited dogs whenever you speak, perking up when they hear your deep voice, u know, bc u tried randomly talking in the evenings abt nothing and watched them pavlov respond and look to you every time

even when u just started talking about the grass or some flowers

lowkey you accidentally almost mess up their dungeon exploring bc theyre just so used to your accented voice in their heads, just around them, or smth guiding them along, that when they all split up into smaller groups in the dungeon,

each Link pair accidentally starts following a man's voice echoing in the dungeon until they all accidentally converge in a main room and the Link equivalent of the point spiderman meme happens with you in the center with Time, who had been your dungeon buddy (he's laughing at them as every Link goes a little red after realizing they just followed you unconciously)

ur favorite thing to do is leaning down to whisper in each of the pointed hylian ears randomly, just talking about mundane or random things and watching it twitch, some trying to stay still like Time/Twi/Wars/Wild, while others leap away like u burned them lmao Legend/Hyrule/Four, and Sky managing to do both, trying to maintain composure before he inevitably breaks out all red and hides in his hands lmao

(Wind dared you to do it originally, and he snickers every time he sees you doing it again lol)

-

ok but the multiple languages is endless comedy gold

bc everytime a Link thinks he's got it or starts to listen then realize ur actually speaking smth completely different language

u get the most memeable faces of his confusion

like these gems

(four's blue is showing, he's offended u switched languages every other word one time)

they're actually so fed up lmao

☆

anyway sorry for late reply!! I hope u guys are having a good week so far, and ill try to post some more, tho cant guarantee when as the holidays close in for me

(rip my class is also getting near the end too im Stressin)

peace out anon,

🌙

[fireintheimpala]

McLennon Playlists

I have been working putting together some McLennon playlists. I mean "McLennon" pretty broadly and vaguely with these lists, so choose your own adventure. It's a useful short portmanteau for for the creative partnership of Lennon/McCartney. But I do also think there is a powerful human relationship here, disregarded from the classic Beatles narrative. And I think this relationship is pivotal to much of their songwriting.

This is a work in progress but here are the acts so far:

Act I: The Beatles before India '68. This is a foundational period. For the most part, I don't think these songs are consciously referencing each other. Rather, they providing a foundation for future references. That said, I think Hide Your Love Away deserves a second look.

Act II: The Beatles after India '68. The contrast is remarkable. Not everything on this list is written by Lennon/McCartney. I think George's While My Guitar Gently Weeps is actually the best expression for the whole time. Anyway, they're breaking up. Passionately. Chronology is a total mash since most of these songs were written or produced in a small period of time.

Act III: The 70's up through approximately 1975. Here especially the chronology of songs begins to be sacrificed for highlighting some back and forth. I personally find their mirroring right after the Beatles--with the front and center band wives and antipodal messages right when they're sending each other cutting missives through hit singles--hilarious. But after that you get this escalating back and forth in moods. Still sent through international hits! Lol. Which they simply presume will work. Anyway, if you listen in order, the positivity increases. Unfortunately, a playlist shift is required once John returns to Yoko in 75ish.

Act IV: '76ish through 1980. After a period of musical productivity and reconnecting with old friends including McCartney, John returns to Yoko. Let's not weight into that but merely note that it changes all music vibes for both musicians. John goes completely silent for 5 years, except for later release home demos. (I'm using Spotify for this which doesn't have most of Lennon's demos unfortunately. But the demos for Free as a Bird and Real Love are recorded during this time so those songs are included. Now and Then demo also, but c'mon let's save that.) McCartney in the meantime writes a series of IMPASSIONED songs about things like his baby who won't call him back, and his lover who needs to beware. Idk what is going on with Wings in production, but LIVE he is absolutely wailing. He starts '76 going on tour worldwide with every song so far I would ever include in these lists. He wails into that void so hard... Things dip, but then escalate back up in 1980. Coming Up. Starting Over Again. But then unfortunately...

Act V: Post Dec 8, 1980. Pending. There's a lot here, but it's so sad it's taking me awhile.

Please contribute suggestions if I've missed relevant songs!

I'll be working on providing more details explanations of some song inclusions.

[rockybloo]

Ive recently just started doing art, and i apologize in advance if you've gotten this question before frequently, do you have any tips for beginner artists and how did you find your art style? I'm constantly amazed by how you do anatomy and expressions, their so distinct and expressive!

Thank you!

And I actually don't get asked a lot of questions about myself when it comes to art. Many come to this account so I can put my OCs on the phone for questions, so this is lowkey a new question. I might have been asked it before years ago but I am better at drawing now.

HOWEVER, I have to state that I am simply a hobbyist artist and not a freelancer or professional so my tips will be kinda off brand compared to their word. ANYWAYS...

THINGS THAT I FIND HELPFUL FOR ARTING (besides practicing because I mean...we all know the only way to get better is to practice so it'd be kinda redundant say it - we all know to do it)

Practice drawing in pen. Pen can't be erased. So instead of sketching and erasing and sketching and erasing, it is nonstop sketching. It helped me a lot with speeding up my sketching, even in digital, because I got used to making little goofy mistakes. It also helps to fight perfectionism

Use references. I know that's just as redundant as saying to practice but references are genuinely underrated. Whether they be colors or poses - references are your friend. I use them whenever I am having a hard time drawing something.

Redraw things. I occasionally redraw memes or scenes from animated movies with my OCs. It's stranger really helpful, especially if there is a certain expression in the original image because it lets you play around with how to draw it to catch the correct vibes. PLUS redrawing funny stuff helps take the stress off creating art because it reminds you not every drawing has to be amazing.

Don't neglect your body when you draw. STOP DRAWING WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY, THIRSTY, OR NEED THE BATHROOM! THE DRAWING CAN WAIT - YOU WILL HAVE A MUCH EASIER TIME CREATING ART WHEN YOU ARE NOT SUFFERING FROM THE HUMAN CONDITION.

Stretch your hands. Drawing puts strain on them and your fingers will ache and your hand may get stiff. Practically hand and finger stretches keeps your hands happy. I do them all the time just because I use my hands a lot for art AND my day job.

Numbers are the devil and the algorithm is a warlord. If you post your art online, it's easy to get into the mindset that you aren't good enough because you have low interactions on your work. THIS IS FALSE - NUMBERS DO NOT EQUAL QUALITY. It's better to draw for yourself and the enjoyment of art rather than drawing to attract a fanbase and attention

As for how I figured out my art style, what you all see is the result of me taking bits and pieces from things I like and blending it all together. An art style is really just figuring out what stuff you like from other people's styles and doing your own thing with it.

To break down some of my own style, the way I shade the underside of noses is something I got from Soul Eater since I loved how the anime marked noses with little dots.

The way I draw lips was a journey. I used to only line the top lip like how the manga for D Gray Man would. Then I saw how Steven Universe stylized fuller lips and sort of started playing with that. Over the course of me exploring - I found more online black artists and learned from how they shade and render lips.

Style is very much something that takes a long time to develop. I've been active online since 2011 and it took me until this year to finally figure out a style I really vibe with.

[irldiancie]

All Kagehina “proof” I know of

Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me. i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it anyways lets just get into it

ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff 1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together

theres like a 1000 more of these btw theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them

I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so 2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want video of it here 3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know 4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course 5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this

he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata. teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.

(credits to triananero for these images) and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them 6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10 moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official 7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO 8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share proof it exists btw AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT 9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing

and then there's this

And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!

[chronocrump]

Hello Chronocrump, I recently stumbled upon your art the other day, and I couldn't stop staring at your gallery.. It makes me realize there is so much thats lacking from my art that I really want to improve on. I felt desperate to contact you, but wasn't sure if it would be rude. I wanted to try to ask you, how do you approach drawing? Do you structure it first, or start with a gesture drawing? Focus on the form or perspective first? Etc My other question might seem strange, but I wanted to ask how do you hold your pencil? Ive learned that different pencil grips can drastically change the quality of someone's art. Thank you for your time. I'm sorry if my message is to long, or you don't want to respond back. I wanted to atleast try, but also let you know that your work has been very inspiring for me to keep trying.

I'm glad to answer your questions, it's seriously no problem. I wanna start by telling you how amazed I was when I checked your profile to see your work. I know you have a huge lack of confidence in it, but your art is genuinely beautiful, and frankly, looking at it, I found it hard to believe that you would be asking me for advice...from my perspective, you're way ahead of me. You're certainly better with color; you might notice I really only post sketches lol. I really don't want to dismiss or downplay your feelings about it, but I have to let you know how I felt looking at it. To me it seems like your brain is telling you your art isn't good enough when it very, very much is.

Anyway, enough gushing from me lol. On to your questions.

Usually when starting a drawing, I very loosely and lightly sketch the overall form of the pose I wanna do. Very rough basic shapes/forms to get everything in its right place before I start really drawing it with confident lines. Even then, all the lines are subject to change; nothing is sacred. To be honest tho, I usually mess up the proportions and have to fix them a bit lol. I try to sketch cleanly and concisely, meaning I try not to draw a lot of lines in a spot that could really be done with just one or two. I'm not super strict on that tho, at the end of the day while I try to draw efficiently, I also want to draw comfortably. So with something like a big circle for example, I'll draw that pretty sketchy. In terms of perspective, I'm trying to get better at it, but when considering how I want to use it in a drawing, it's part of the initial image or idea I have in my head, so I lay it out from the beginning. I do also draw structure lines on the face, just a simple cross to plan where the center of the face will be. Lately I've also tried taking more pictures of myself for pose reference and it works well.

Most of my practice comes from studying my favorite artists and trying to emulate the specific ways they structure their drawings. I should actually be doing dedicated practice sessions with that, but I digress. Recently I've been trying to practice from photos first thing in the morning, tho I'm finding it hard to commit to doing it daily. I just go on pinterest and find cool poses, then draw them, trying to get down the basic shapes and prominent features more than focusing on minute details. I've posted some of these practice sketches on here but there's a few more on my twitter if you wanna see what I'm talking about.

In terms of my pencil grip, I'm not sure...since I was little, I've always had an unusual grip. Looking it up, I guess it's like the "dynamic quadrupod" grip, but with my forefinger farther back. Really the most I try to do is draw less with my wrist and more with my forearm. Some say you should "draw from the shoulder", and that sounds right...I guess it's all about avoiding straining your wrist and getting carpal tunnel lol.

Anyway, I'm flattered that you would ask me for advice. To be honest, it makes me feel like I should have more confidence in my own art. And you should too! I can say that, objectively, your art is very good. I hope my advice was actually helpful and not generic stuff you've heard before lol. Good luck in your art journey.

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

ippiki au lore dump

if the name of the au does not make it very obvious, this au was inspired very heavily by the trained cards for kick it up a notch (i just chose to reference the comm, hitsuji ga ippiki, as the au name because it sounds cooler than calling it like. kickup au. so its ippiki au instead. when i first started working on this i just called it animal fighters au but thats long LOL)

its one of my favorite sets, im a big fan of dystopian and post-apocalyptic themes which the set hits perfectly and there was room to have fun with animal designs (i mean, seriously, they gave kohane sheep horns and named akitos costume "hound kid") and so i started thinking from the moment i laid eyes on the set when it leaked and i ended up with an au based around the idea of animal/human hybrids.

first of all for actual au stuff, character profiles! these were made a lot earlier on into working the au so ive made minor adjustments to their designs since then, but nothing drastic. mainly just little things ive changed when drawing them in more detail, like additional scars and such.

while making kohane a sheep and akito a dog (hes... not a specific kind of dog. hes a mix of a whole bunch of different larger domestic dog breeds combined with some wild canines. ) were obvious from the set, deciding on the animals for an and touya required a bit more thought. i ended up settling on a fox for an partially as a nod to her ny3 card and also because for a long time now ive thought theyre fitting for her anyway, and touya as a black leopard because... he's kitty. but i wanted to make him a big kitty not a domestic kitty. i do also like bunny touyas but for how i was feeling with this au i wanted him to be a cat.

theres the fun little detail that kohane is the only animal that isnt a predator in vbs.

but i should probably explain why theyre animal hybrids in this au.

im going to put the rest of the lore dump and more art below, this gets long.

basically, in the face of a coming apocalypse, there was an effort to attempt to hybridize humans with animals to see if they could create a form of human (or something seen as "human enough") that would be more resilient if the apocalypse threatened the survival of normal humanity. it was never completely successful and the hybrids were less stable/generally shorter lived (if physically stronger) but it ended up being unnecessary and enough of humanity survived to rebuild. but the experiments to create hybrids continued.

in the present day of the au, hybrids are created for... less pleasant tasks. the kinds of things people dont want to take on, and theyre physically stronger than the average human so theyre put to those jobs instead. or theyre created as showpieces/pets for the wealthy (most people outside of those circles find it strange to keep hybrids like that though. hybrids arent always seen as being truly human (although theyre fully capable of everything human and then some) but theyre still seen as human enough for it to be weird).

many of them though, are created as sacrifices for entertainment in battle arenas where theyll have to fight each other to the death. its a seemingly inevitable fate to die there once theyre sent, but escape has happened before. an is living proof of that, as both of her parents are escaped arena fighters who helped establish a small town of hybrids out in the wasteland beyond the city at the core of hybrid creation and sacrifice.

how an ended up as an arena fighter despite being born well outside the city... thats a long story.

touya is a showpiece fighter, created to fight but kept secure and safe outside of his registered fights. he might be healthier physically, much less worn down by fighting, but hes been very socially isolated and doesnt fit in with other hybrids very well.

an and touya fight in the same arena, and touyas fight days are the only times he interacts with other hybrids. hes given free reign around the hybrid compound (where most other hybrids are restricted under collars and chains) and he ends up meeting an there. although tense, they become sort of friends and he frees her and they escape together.

kohane and akito are just normal arena fighters, created solely for that purpose, although kohane was meant as an early sacrifice due to her skittish nature, but she survives. theyre in the same arena as each other, although its a harsher one than the one antouya are in, theyre unable to properly interact with anyone else at all and are just lucky enough to be neighbors to end up bonding.

i just grouped them based on which side of their face they have the barcodes on in the original cards lol in this au the arenas generally brand their fighters with a code for identifying them. touyas is actually not permanent like the others, but temporarily applied whenever he has a fight coming up (like a temporary tattoo lol)

kohane managing to survive despite the intention being that she dies is actually the driving force that starts the fic for this au (which fun fact, despite me never mentioning the title, does have a title! the fic will be called "fight, flight, freedom", unless i think of something that fits even better, but i already like the title as is so i probably wont change it)

its rough but i promise everyone gets a happy ending eventually :)

now for sitting through all that rambling heres some art

heres my very initial attempts at designs for them! no drastic changes even since this initial pass at designs tbh i was pretty content with them pretty quickly

some various doodles of them interacting, some during/around the time of the fic and others post-fic

what if they were... more animal? like furries instead of just the ears/tails? obviously noncanon but it was a fun little thing to draw

wip aged up designs! heavily inspired by the power of unity set because it also fits into the post apocalyptic type theme and i thought would work for them when theyre a little older. assume theyre about 20-21 here, while in the main canon of the au theyre about 16-17.

a silly little sketch i did last week of aged up akikoha in their burn my soul outfits... kohane cant really wear hats, horns are inconvenient for that. everyone elses ears would probably make hats difficult too, but you could probably make holes for their ears. you cant really make holes for the tops of her horns.

some little finished pieces i did for this au. can you tell akito is my favorite to draw for this?

now heres some other random au facts

an and haruka are childhood friends, haruka also being the child of ferals. haruka is a domestic cat hybrid (either a gray or black cat, i havent decided which yet). she is not in their hometown anymore either. where is she now...? ill leave you to wonder about that.

kohane and minori grew up in the same group of created hybrids together, theyre friends but were sent to different places so they dont know whats happened to each other since. minori is a goat btw (inspired by her halloween card)

a lot of ans scars are from injuries that snowballed after an incident in a fight that severely broke her tail and led to part of it being amputated. her balance was thrown off for a while after that so she was a little clumsier in fights than normal

akitos scars on the other hand are caused by the fact that hes a reckless fighter. a good fighter, but not much care for the damage he takes in the process. that and improper padding on his collars and muzzle, leaving those spots unable to fully heal from being rubbed against metal for months and when they finally do heal they scarred.

im still sorting things out for sure but tentatively for vbs npcs i have decided on fox ken and yuka (obviously, same as an), tiger taiga (i mean... how could i not go for the pun. and i think it suits him), maned wolf nagi (update march 2024 ive drawn nagi now so this is what has been made canon), raccoon kotaro, caracal arata, and dog souma (sorry to any tatsuya fans, i have not figured out how to include him in the au at all)

vbs all very clingy with each other once they get comfortable together. platonic polysquad ❤️

other characters outside of vbs exist in this au but theyre just not relevant enough to the story for me to include here 👍

the fic outline is like 2.4k words. the first chapter is a couple scenes away from being finished and its about 5k words. it will not be the longest chapter of the fic. this is going to be a long au.

maybe ill do another lore dump another day if i can think of more stuff. well see.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading, heres an edit i made the moment we got high quality versions of the cards and is probably partially responsible for the existence of this au

[alpinezro]

hi... I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT TO ASK but ive admired how you render for a long time and you mentioned a while back in a post that you'd studied light particles n how they work and i have been. deathly curious as to how you went about doing that... drawing from reference and doing studies of course, but was there any particular way you went about it? i hope this finds you well. anyways . sorry ! thank you for your time

no need to apologize, and thank you so much for asking! not sure i can provide the best explanation, but most of what i learned was off of youtube and some blog-ish websites. this probably wont make any sense at all but ill try my best.

The Anatomy of Shadows

a big part of it was learning the anatomy of shadows, specifically the terminator and different varieties. heres a diagram,

terminators are just where the light and shadow meet. you always want to be able to tell where the terminator starts and ends!!! be CONFIDENT and BOLD with them!!!! they communicate so much information about structure

more on the different types of terminators/shadows. the ones i most use are cast and body.

a great example of these is the rembrandt triangle, composed of the shadow cast by the nose (cast shadow) and the shadow of the cheek (body shadow). body shadows are so so aewsome because they represents changes in planes. cast shadows r just kinda there. but i think they get softer the further away from the object they are since the light particles wiggle their way underneath and create reflection/ambient light

Ambient Occlusion and Light

SPEAKING OF WHICH!!! ambient light is basically just, the light particles that are bouncing around in a scene. imagine you're at the beach and its a really cloudy day, the shadows arent gonna be dramatic like they would if you were in a dark room with one light source.

youd think that we're kinda like. enveloped in light by default but no, we're pretty much always in shadow. shadows are the normal part. light is a strange freak that broke into your house and fucked everything up.

more about ambient occlusion. ambient occlusion just occurs when objects get close together and light cant wiggle its way in, as stated earlier. heres a shitty example. AO is key to realism.

this guy explains it better than i ever could

Lighting Focus or Whatever the Fawk its Called I Forgot But There's Definitely a Scientific/Cinematic Term For This

another thing. level of detail in shadows is gonna be way different than in light and vice versa. u know when u spend a bunch of time outside and u go inside and its just solid black for a few seconds? its a similar idea here, ur eyes are so focused on the lit area they dont even give a shit abt the shadows.

because of this, i try to keep shaded areas blurred. a lot of detail is implied, just let the viewers mind fill in the blanks.

last but not least,

Subsurface Scattering (on the skin, at least)

can i be so honest with you for a second??? i dont actually know what this means, like in depth. im sure this has something to do with light penetrating through semi-transparent skincells and illuminating blood,, but i cant be sure. thats just an educated guess. past oakley is always smarter than present oakley for some reason.

i usually combine it with reflected light to create a more cohesive look. burt like... yeah... theres plenty of people who can explain this better than me

ok thast all i hope this helped at least a little!!!!! LOTS of youtube videos. lots of visualizing silly little particles bouncing around. i probably forgot some stuff.

this video is realy good

[causenessus]

HI NESS!! its like 3 pm rn so good afternoon 😋 i hope you're having/had(? idk when ur school day ends so like..) a good school dayyayay :)) HOPEFULLY YOUVE BEEN DRINKING WATER and ofc eating enough + taking ur meds 🙂‍↕️

when u mentioned some npc named cream cheese i started laughing like an idiot omg 💔 like picture me sitting in the living room next to my roommate bc we're watching a tv show and then i look down at my phone and start giggling out of nowhere.. cream cheese sounded like a real opp 😕🙏 i was the same but with mariokart bc rose gold peach was always hitting me w red shells fr LIKE I CRIED OVER THAT A LOT ACTUALLY (i was 7). and omg mario party!! i still play that whenever i have game nights bc i was able to buy a nintendo switch HAHAHAH and dude just dance hyperfixation goes crazy bc i got insanely good at rasputin solely because i thought i looked cool (i did not.) 😞

ALSO THE VOLLEYBALL GIRLS BEING MEAN IS SO REAL OMG.. lots of the vb girls at my middle school didn't like me for no reason it was crazy actually and that was partially why i didnt start until now LMAO theyre scary af sometimes akwkwnssj

IM GOING BACK TO SCHOOL TOMORROW and me and my friends were trying to figure out where to meet and its now coming to me that i have nothing planned whatsoever 😋 LIKE I DIDNT EVEN PLAN WHEN TO WAKE UP AND I ONLY REALIZED NOW PLS so today i have to lock in and plan an outfit hairstyle and lunch for tomorrow morning and uhhhhhh i wanted to write and post an akaashi oneshot before i went back to school bc i would probably lose the time to write frequently so... how do u balance out your time omg (DONT ACTUALLY ANSWER THIS ITS OK ITS RHETORICAL IM JUST YAPPING)

also i had no idea but like theres a district rule here that phones CANNOT be used at all in the school day unless u were explicitly allowed to.. like ive been getting intro emails from my teachers and their talking about A CELL PHONE VAULT⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ guys i just want my phone so that i can listen to music while i work on assignments please i swear im an ok kid 💔 i may just keep it in my backpack and always wear my hair down because im desperate.. i think i may have an aneurysm if i have to go the entirety of a day without music so desperate times call for desperate measures i suppose 😕

ANYWAY IM NOT GONNA REREAD THAT AND ATTEMPT TO CORRECT ANY ATROCIOUS LOOKING RUN ON SENTENCES SO I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND ME,, HOPEFULLY YOURE DOING WELL AND ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY!!

HELLO SAV!!! GOOD EVENING <3 (it's 10 pm rn oopsies) THANK U!! AND I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD DAY <3 today was okay besides the embarrassment of hearing my own playlist being played in public...yk what i'm referring to..BUT also aa yes i will take my meds thank you for the reminder!! since 10 is when i'm supposed to take them 😭 i'll take them next time i get up!! bc i'm kind of comfy rn </3

PLEASE i never actually played mario kart </33 like then the switch came out and my friend had it and i played at her house but then she'd always get mad bc i'd beat her LMAO so i've actually never owned mario kart!! like i ended up get a hand me down switch from my sister's bf's sister who didn't want it anymore but it dies like within an hour of being used so i never play it </33 and DW i didn't look cool dancing to promiscuous even if i got 5 stars on it LMAOAO

but YES idk i think middle school volleyball is definitely the worst bc that's when the toxicity started for my friend in volleyball and i think it makes sense just because of what our minds are like at the state (trying to find ur place and form groups and everything yk </3 not to be a psych nerd or anything but ykwim </3)

AND AA BEST OF LUCK TOMORROW AT SCHOOL!! I'LL PROBABLY MESSAGE U AT MIDNIGHT TO WISH U LUCK AGAIN <3 I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR OUTFIT AND EVERYTHING PLANNED OUT!! i've also been just taking it day by day 😭 like my schedule depends on the day yk so like i've just been setting alarms the night before everytime my schedule changes (IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT I GET U SAV I GET U) and aa!! i know your question was rhetorical but definitely don't stress about too much please <3 take your time and just do what you can manage!!

AND THAT'S CRAZY?? A PHONE VAULT??? MAN YOUR SCHOOL IS HARDCORE I'M SO SORRY 😭😭 i definitely just keep my hair down and use earbuds most of the time bc i CANNOT go without music and like it's fine!!! i have great grades tbh so no one has anything on me 😌 i remember one time i had this math final and we had to put our phones in like a shoe hanger everyday (idk what it's called) but thank goodness wireless headphones exist!! so like my phone would still be connected to my earbuds <3 and my teacher made me lift up a beanie i was wearing to cover my ears LMAO AND I HAD AN EARBUD IN BUT SHE DIDN'T SEE IT BC THEY'RE BLACK like i am not rich enough to afford airpods and i don't want them anyway 😭 they look uncomfortable and ugly and they draw so much attention bc they're bright!! offbrand earbuds all the way <3

YOU ARE BETTER THAN I AM FOR PROOFREADING YOUR MESSAGE 😭😭 I'M GOING TO SEND THIS AS IT IS AND I'M SORRY FOR ANY RUN ON SENTENCES!! I HOPE YOU HAD A LOVELY DAY SAV <33

[will1]

dude your art is so good, do you have any advice for how to improve as an artist who hasn't been very consistent ? I'd love to know what resources you use for studies,how you lay out sketch pages,what you choose to study,any websites you use for art,etc? No pressure ofc! You don't even have to post this, just know you're one of my biggest art inspo blogs 😊

gahhh aehehahe i really appreciate this ^_^ really kind words :D, anyway my one advice is get incredibnly obssesed with a ccharacter and draw them over and over for 5 years. jk.. i hsve other advice 2 :grin: i think, personally what helped me grow was really having other artists evaluate my art and really taking constructive criticism to heart and working on whatever issues i have consistently in my art whether its anatomy or coloring or rendering. i think it is great 2 have other artist friends who can help you and eachother imrpove! i think also pushing yourself to draw things your uncomfortable with like strange angles and different features and really just working on understanding the human form helped me draw more consistently, for me im now at the stage where i am experimenting with my style but before that i was focused on really getting the basics, i think now that i understand like, figure drawing and such i have been able to focus on getting a consistent art style if thats what you mean? but again ive done alot of figure drawings and loose poses. i remember watching this video a couple years ago that helped me get on the track 2 studying figures specifically !! i do not know if it will be of service to you but here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGhYfLQWbp0 , also ive done some studies of figure drawings from other really good artists i was looking at this one book ill try to see if i can remember later. but yea i study from life and other artists, when it comes to painting i find alot of inspiration from stuff i find on pinterest and also other artists on tumblr lol gahh i have been writing alot my bad, but yea i usually google references for poses i dont really use any like, artist reference websites even though i should lol. but yea overall i have done like soo many gesture drawings, and when i frst got into tf2 i studied the comics artstyle alot which i think helped alot with my style and understanding all the muscles in the face you know, also for sketch pages i literally just start a drawing of something and draw around the empty space around it lol, i do not really plan them ever, in like physical sketchbooks i try to fill in the space between all my other sketches so all my drawings kind of meld into eachother cause i think it looks neat, anyway sorry 4 the essay and i hope any of this helps!! '^_^ if u have any more questions feel free 2 ask

[crowhyun]

Hi crow!! Just wanted to check up on you! How's everything? Are you feeling ok? Any big changes in life you'd like to share? I hope you're doing great. Srsly. I rly do

Its been awhile since ive been on tumblr and when i say awhile i mean its been like mayb 2 years 💀. I still rmb when i first started reading ffs on tumblr, u were one of the first few i read and really really liked. I remember going through so many of your works after reading my first from you. Throughout the period of time when i was active on tumblr i wld always check to see if you posted anyt new and just reread ur works over and over again. I genuinely loved them so much!

The last time i was properly on tumblr, i found out u deactivated ur old acc and had recently opened this current acc. Which was crazy long ago, and that is precisely how long i havent been on tumblr. Ofc me getting busy w school was one of the main reasons i became inactive, but u also being inactive/ getting ur writers block also played a part. Pls pls plsss dont take this the wrong way, i just wanted u to know that i really do enjoy your work!

If im not mistaken, i came back on tumblr bc i was looking to reread one of ur taehyun ffs but i couldnt find ur old acc and i was panicking like crazy. Thankfully i found your new acc n found the ff i was looking for shortly after. Im telling u the sense of relief i felt when i found ur acc, crazy. U are literally the only acc i rmb now, genuinely.

Yk one of the ffs i was really looking forward to was wired hearts (i think u refer it as AI taehyun?) It really caught my eye and peaked my interest when i saw the teaser and was crazyly looking forward to it. I even sent in an ask just to find out if u were planning on continuing it if u could repost the teaser. I was a little sad when u said u didnt really know where it was going n wasnt sure how to go about it and that u probably werent gonna post it. I was looking through ur asks and saw a few ppl asking about ai taehyun (cmiiw but i am talking abt the same thing right?) and u said u were working on it(?). I was rly happy to see that and again am looking forward to it if u decide to work on it! Again dont take this the wrong way, and dont feel pressured or anyt! (Cough cough would still love to see the teaser again at some point :''), pls dont feel pressured abt it tho)

Anyways, i came on tumblr tdy rly j by chance and the first post i see is one from u!! I was rly happy to see ur user first thing whn i opened tumblr i checked ur profile to see what youve been up to and found out youve also been inactive for a pretty long time. So i j wanted to check on u while u were here! It seems like many things hv changed in ur life, like u arent a flight attendant anym??? my memory is still stuck at that point of time 😵‍💫😵‍💫

Again i hope you're doing well. Dont be too hard on yourself and always remember there are always ppl supporting thing even behind the anon user! Lots and lots of love 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

(ps. Sorry for the super long msg😅, love u!)

(pps. Sorry if theres any typos or sentences that dont make sense, did read through what i wrote😅😅, again love u lots! 🩷🩷🩷)

Okay so, I woke up randomly at like 7 am and decided to check Tumblr bcs I'm a technology obsessed Gen z and omggggg 😭 this is gonna make me cry

Like why are we fated

I really do want to keep writing, and I've started up some works, so be prepared to have some put this week! I also really do what to continue with AI Taehyun bcs I've had a pretty good prompt in my head for a while and it's a bit angsty, but I love writing angst, it's just that one will probably be longer, so maybe around 7k-10k words I just gotta LOCK IN

And as for my life, I'm doing pretty good! I'm in school now, studying medica laboratory science alongside a pre-med track, so it's fine for my freshman year, but I do know that it's going to get quite rigorous soon enough so wish me luck hehe. I also miss yapping on here about drama in my life, and I wanna get back to that too lol

And do not worry about sending long messages, I LOVE to read them, and they make me so happy! You've really pushed me further into wanting to get back on here to post frequently, and I'm really going to set my sights on doing so. I miss Tumblr and I miss yall, so although I won't be posting everyday, I'll try my hardest to post at least once a week!

Also, Thanksgiving break is starting tomorrow, and then after that, it's presentations and exams, so I'll also be kinda busy with studying 😅 I'll Mae it work tho

[captainsquality]

i love sports i fucking love sports i miss playing sports

my greatest agony is that ive been sick literally half of my life and havent been able to actually PLAY sports in any formal capacity, especially not the ones I enjoy the most(which are team sports) since my mid/late teens. for reference I turned 31 at the start of this month.

I would play SO much soccer and volleyball and baseball, if I could. I would do so much rock climbing and cycling. I would skateboard so much more often(and probably better) if I weren't just so fucking fragile and unhealthy at my base.

I do think that if not for a lot of my non-physical health issues getting in the way of me keeping healthy routines and exacerbating my physical problems I could be a lot more active at least in solo sports. I want to see about hitting up hiking trails here locally as the weather finally starts cooling down this autumn bc sure its rly just walking but I love being outdoors and rolling in the dirt and climbing shit and the thing is that i havent gotten to do those things in any actual, real capacity in years and years and years

if I had been able to have a normal school experience, if I were able to have any semblance of a normal adult social life, I would probably spend a TON of time still doing team sports in community leagues(soccer especially, I miss soccer so much), and I would probably commute by skateboard or bicycle wherever possible.

I wish to god i could figure out a way to beat back some of my mental issues enough to get an actual workout/exercise routine going, even just low impact, improve my health so i can actually do some of these things I love doing but cant bc of health limitations. One of the greatest agonies of my disabled life is that I actually adore and love a huge breadth of activities beyond the few very sedentary ones my body actually ALLOWS me to enjoy with any regularity.

I fucking miss soccer, man. I literally loved playing soccer SO much. I don't even have opportunity to just. pass the ball around with people anymore. Not even fucking THAT much less actually playing on a team, even for just like futsal. I was actually pretty good as a player. Not Star Player worthy, but I understood the game reasonably well and I had tenacity and good passing skills so I tended to do very well as a wingback or midfielder and made some pretty damn good assists and even goals when I was playing in leagues.

as a teen, pre-HRT, a tiny willowy soprano playing casual keep-away with my three brothers, I was the smallest and weakest person the field, functionally. but I was fucking STUBBORN, not because I was determined to win, I was determined to participate. I wanted to play. I wanted to be part of the experience.

which means that despite my brothers ranging in height from 5' 10" to 6' 1" in comparison to my 5' 5" with the weight of a six pack of sodas behind me, I was still making steals and connecting passes to my younger brother with actual, genuinely skilled maneuvers that left my oldest brother, a college undergrad, jawdropped at my skinny fourteen year old ass swiping the ball from under him and into the 'goal' (two predetermined trees acting as posts).

I never WON a game in those little sessions but god did I love just getting to play and I fucking miss it! I miss soccer and I miss swimming, I miss baseball and volleyball and rappelling and skating and I hate that doing any of these things again, even in a casual context, is so completely inaccessible to me. and not even just because of my physical limitations.

there are not places for me to do them. there are not people for me to do them with. there are not accessible resources for me to find either of those things.

anyway sorry im done ranting. i didnt have a cohesive point other than i miss sports and felt a need to vent about it. thank u for letting me complain, carry on

[lovesaadiqa]

the unthethered soul

this book is one that keeps on giving or growing me i should say. my second time reading it helped me realized the different spaces i was in before and now. i seldom go back and read my entries, its kinda of cringe for me especially when i don't see in growth from one post to another, stagnation makes me sad. anyway i cried alot the first time i read this book and this time im highlighting like hell. just to catch me up, ive been driving over the road for 5 months now, initially soothing myself with music, empty conversation from random people and as dangerous as it sounds, tv, movies and murder mysteries. the last 30 days has been silent asf on my truck, no nothing! the window down and my thoughts. i gave the book another go round but ive been applying what im reading and this shit is no joke! ive learned how to know when im in the seat of self, how to be aware of my awareness, how to watch my emotions form, how to disconnect from what im seeing and pay attention to how whatever it is im seeing is making me feel. amateur at best but today was another monster and i can see how i definitely will need my awareness to grow and how consistency will play a major role in how fast i can find my freedom.

its 4th of july, no the weekend, the literal day. i'd been driving for 4 hours and go to my receiver super early because when i started my route i forgot the time zone was going to change. i arrived at 1:30 cst and am told the ppl who unload me was changing shifts and i'd have to wait until 3:45.. there's no pressure but its hard asf to find parking in general but especially on a holiday or weekend so idgaf about nothing but finding parking because im less than 1/2 mile aware from a flying j and dont wanna have to get back on the highway to find parking. i get back in my truck, eat and get on social media. i can feel someone unloading me but it's nowhere near 3:45 so i grab my paperwork and march my ass inside hype like "yes, imma be outta here soon" i get in a realize it was an over zealous worker who came in early for holiday pay (i'd still have to wait for my paperwork to get signed). someone shows up in the office right at 3:45 and im told they have to count and verify my freight which would be at least 30-45 more mins. im ok with that because my appt time wasn't until 5pm and im already unloaded before 4. it's gets dumb tricky because im notified im counted and good to go, i get inside and the guy who is to give me my papers says i have to pay a lumper fee. i've never in all my months had to pay a lumper fee, in fact i don't know wtf that is so i call my dm and I get Matt (he's a rude sob and hate hearing his damn voice) who tells me i have to send a message form. i do as im told but get a reference number on my tablet that says give this to the ppl inside to pay, i get inside give them the code and they tell me to put it in the payment slot on the text they sent (in my head im screaming "what fucking text") -- fuck the rest of the story

as im walking back and forth from my truck to the receiver i can feel the agitation building, my responses are on the rude side, i can hear my consciousness forewarning me that im getting heated. i tried to feel what was happening inside of me as im also trying to remain professional. i tell myself that im only frustated because i dont think im going to be able to find parking, im losing it becasue wtf is a lumper fee and wtf you mean i have to pay it, what text did you send me on top of hearing "western express this is Matt" lmmfaooooo. i get to the fucking gate to leave and the bitch gone say "can you pull all the way up im pregnant and i dont feel like walking to the back of your trailer. i legit wanted to run her tf over because bitch you at work and pregnant ppl arent handicapped HOT!!!! In the time it took me to tell myself to calm and actually calming down i ran a stop sign and drove past the flying j entrance.

then i get to my lil to do list and im supposed to read a chapter: Removing Your Inner Thorn (im literally fighting back tears writing this) the second fucking sentence "In order to grow, you must give up the struggle to remain the same, and learn to embrace change at all time" ATE ME TF UP! Im not the same because now i have the awareness to spot, feel and identify my emotions before they have me in a chokehold. knowing all that i still copped an attitude and let them run me. this chapter talks about have a literal thorn piercing a nerve and the options you have to avoid the pain. first option is to avoid anything that will touch, bother, graze, tap, irritate your torn.. second option, remove the fucking thorn all together! a few lines that made me legit get my laptop, come into the pilot and write this entire entry: if you decide you have to keep things from touching the thorn, then that becomes the work of a lifetime; the life of protecting yourself from the problem becomes a perfect reflection of the problem itself; you can actually fell that because you've minimized the pain of the problem, you've solved the problem.. all you did was devote your life to avoiding it; the problem will be back the moment the external situation fails to protect you from what's inside; you are not the pain you feel; the thorns naturally work themselves out if you stop protecting them; you do no get rid of loneliness (or any thorn sadness, depression, anxiety, short temper, a broken heart, abdandonment) you just cease to be involved with it, it just another thing in the universerse like cars, glass or the stars.

i cant began to explain how i did the work and then read the book. there is no joy like getting it. i understand now. im praying for more situations to arise so i can better at this and win inner peace for myself. the ultimate goal for me is to sit in the seat of self and remain there.. i just know with my whole heart i will read this book until the cover falls off because it is a complete guide to spiritual freedom, in my opinion. i have about 6 books on my truck right now and this one is the most got a second read before i finished any of the other one for a first time. im happy to be here. in this space, with this awareness and the understanding of what to do with it and how if benefits me. i will get so fucking good at this!!

i hope when you come back to read this it wont be cringe babygirl. i wish you nothing but healing and total well being. to think that coming face to face with a pain that made you know want to wake up no more got you here is nothing but God's love for you. its so important to realize that it was all necessary! forgive, relax and release Saadiqa but most importantly remain thank for it all. equipped with the know-how to watch your thoughts and detach from them should make this journey so fucking delicious. you are awareness and EVERTHING else is an object of your consciousness. the feelings, the thoughts that get stuck on repeat, other people, aging, your body.. all of it. just a thing/things you've become aware of, they are not you. never, ever, ever forget that. leaving the seat of self is such a massive step down that some people do it for a single thing and they're never able to return again. that is the prize, the gift of a life lived. Chapter 8 over and over and over and over again!!!! please get this Saadiqa it is my life's wish for you NEVER STEP DOWN!

[metroid-prime-ribs]

Cryptid Samus

I know I've made posts like this before in the past, but this is my favorite headcanon so you're all gonna have to suffer more of it until I can write a proper length fanfic about it.

SO. In the era of the Prime series, Samus seems to go from being a relatively unknown bounty hunter, to the one woman army that almost single-handedly ends the Phazon War with the Space Pirates. This makes sense as Metroid Prime is only the second mission of Samus's that we get to see, and it's not really a big one. Just "There's a Space Pirate frigate out here kinda close to Zebes, orbiting Tallon IV. Go see if they're causing trouble."

The next mission we see Samus undertake is checking in on the Federation ship that lost communications on Aether. Here is where we actually get to see for the first time what other in-universe characters think of Samus.

Unfortunately, these troopers can only communicate through their log entries. One trooper in particular, SPC M. Angseth, says in her log,

"This is ridiculous. I can outshoot half the men here, and I'm stuck on monitor duty. I didn't join up to stare at a holoscreen! This wouldn't happen to Samus Aran... She'd be out there take care of business, not pushing buttons and sending reports."

Another trooper, PFC I. Crany, says this,

"Last night at chow, Angseth starts talking about some bounty hunter and how she blew up a planet full of Space Pirates. I told her I didn't believe in fairy tales like that, and she took it personal. I just find it hard to believe that one person took out an entire Space Pirate base, that's all. But if she wants to believe in this Samus, or Bigfoot, or Santa Claus, she can."

These two logs clearly show that while Samus is a known entity, her exploits are fantastical to the point of sounding like a myth or fable. I think most fans are aware of these logs by this point so I won't go on too much more about them. Instead, I'll move on to Metroid Prime 3: Corruption.

Corruption has a large number of troopers, and most of them are even alive for us to talk to! Right off the bat Samus gets hailed by the GFS Olympus and when she puts in her code on the comms, the ATC operator refers to her as Samus. Maybe they could've been just reading the name off the gunship registration. Once we land, Samus talks to a trooper at their post in landing bay 5.

The way this trooper talks to Samus doesn't indicate whether or not they believe that she is a fictional character like PFC Crany, nor do they show any admiration for Samus the way we could expect Angseth to act.

Then we get to the briefing room where Dane, Rundas, Ghor, and Samus are waiting for us.

... I'm pretty sure it's normal to have people impersonate you about 3 times in your career, right?

Either way, none of the assembled hunters, no Admiral Dane seem to have any reaction to Samus's presence. Meaning they know that she exists (reasonably, since they're kinda coworkers).

ANYWAYS

If we get back to my 'armcanon,' I think that Samus, the mysterious Chozo Power Suit wearing bounty hunter that tangles with legions of Space Pirates by herself, is regarded as some sort of space cryptid, because like yes someone capable of doing what she does makes sense. BUT, is it believable that ONE (1) person is doing it? Is Samus some kind of AI in a hyper-advanced experimental chassis? Or maybe she's a Federation bioweapon that they send out to do their most expensive and difficult bounties to keep from paying out so much money. The only people who know that Samus is a real person are the ones who directly work with her, so other hunters, the Federation, obviously the Space Pirates.

I would compare her to the way that Robert Pattinson's Batman exists to Gotham city. The average citizen probably doesn't ever have too much proof that Samus really exists, though maybe there's merchandise that the people who do see her make, and of course the Federation knows since they payout her bounties and have to get in touch with her when they work together.

I also like to think of Samus as having a sort of alter ego.

This public persona would be Sam A. an archaeologist. Someone who works with decrypting the ancient writings of species like the Chozo, N'kren, Ylla, Bryyonians, Elysians, Alimbics, and many others. She could have an office or museum or some kind of public works that help teach people the history of the stars.

On the rare occasion that she is around to oversee her space, she will slip in and give lucky viewers private tours of her personal artifact collection. Things such as rubbings of Chozo lore walls from Tallon IV, damaged busts of Luminoth (donated by U'Mos of course), and even some relics from her old missions like the Spazer beam, Long Beam, or the Omega Cannon.

I'm sure she would also run some kind of black market smuggling operation too. What better way to find and retrieve valuable artifacts from smugglers and grave robbers than to con them into stealing from herself? Then of course she'd hack their equipment to give herself five stars on Dark Yelp.*

I really want to see Samus have more of a direct role in making peoples lives better rather than just the suicidal impossible odds missions she gets in the games. And I think that could be done in a Metroid game with a more urban setting, sorta like Batman: Arkham Knight where Samus would mostly stick to a single city and be able to receive missions to track down bounty heads while piecing together a large assassination plot or something. Maybe make Sylux or some other hunters appear to give him an actual reason to hate Samus.

*The Dark Yelp thing is a reference to my close friend's EeveeNicks' "Human" series on AO3. A series about Samus struggling to move on after the destruction of Zebes and rebuilding her connection to humanity, rather than feeling like a tool of war.

[midnight-in-town]

Ok ok ok, I was thinking about this and i HAVE to ask u??? please tell me about Victoria killing Cloudia. ive been following you for a long time and i know it's your 'basis' for the KS plot. I don't care if it's a crack theory or what but this idea is legit so interesting and I was thinking back on this and i really need to read more about it!!!

Hey Anon! First of all, sorry for the delay and thank you for your kind words! :)

Secondly, sure, okay. I mean I've mentioned it a bit on different posts, because I lack the time to write the genesis post to the Kuro plot for now, but I can recap a bit, knowing indeed that it's a crack theory (as in, we lack a lot of canon info to be sure of anything).

In order to understand this theory, you have to be aware of other theories I vouch for and that relate to this idea, such as : 

The Phantomhive lineage at the origin of the Watchdog duty?

The Phantomhive lineage allows them to see different supernatural beings [part 1] [part 2]

Ciel vs Victoria (aka war preparations vs revenge) 

Ciel vs Victoria part II and John Brown 

14th of December: Ciel’s birthday but also Prince Albert’s death date

Was Claudia killed too?

About Vincent foreshadowing his own death 3 years in advance 

The fire 4 years ago was started to destroy Vincent’s body

Brown vs Seb: “what demons can do is make humans think that a person who was dead is alive”

“Love” as one major theme of Kuro [part 1]

Recap post: The Undertaker and the bizarre doll project

When did UT become “Undertaker”? [addition 1]

About UT disliking the Shinigamis’ higher-ups [addition 1][addition 2]

About Vincent trying to live an ordinary life [addition]

Recap post: personal take on the RCMT 

Jane = John Brown? [original post] [full explanation]

Now I hope you understand why I lack the time to write that post in details. Pease refer to the posts above if one part of this crack theory is unclear. :))

Anyway, I’d say it all starts when Claudia, the heir to the previous Earl Phantomhive, is given the Watchdog position, at an unknown date, but probably when she’s between 15 and 20 years old. 

At first, it would be logical to think that Queen Victoria finds herself to be quite close to her (only?) female associate who takes care of such burden for the royal family. You know, girl power.

They both marry and have kids over the years: Claudia has her son as her heir and a daughter as her son’s spare, life goes on, etc. Until Prince Albert dies on 14th December 1861 and Victoria is heartbroken. 

Now, historically, Prince Albert died of “natural” causes (typhoid fever), but Kuro is an AU, so who knows why/how he really died in canon. It doesn’t even really matter, but what does is what Victoria believes happened to him. 

If, in Kuro, Victoria believes that Albert’s death was a murder then, beyond the sorrow, I’d say she’s a character who would definitely be out for revenge (which thematically would be a blast as she’d be a big bad having followed the exact same path as our!Ciel, just saying). 

In this context, I believe it’s possible that John Brown, who’s a demon in my opinion, was summoned between year 1861 and 1866 (’how’ is ???). 

Similarly to our!Ciel, Victoria’s main goal upon entering a contract with a demon was partially revenge for Albert’s death, but also maybe creating a powerful Empire that couldn’t be threatened by another nation (it would explain why John Brown is quite invested in the plan for a war that seems to be WWI 25 years in advance). However, unlike our!Ciel, Victoria also asked the demon to “bring Albert back”, which as we know is impossible...

and would explain Brown using a puppet to make her think it is true. 

“Comic relief”, am I right. Lol. 

Anyway so, “John Brown”, Victoria’s faithful demon (out for her soul and many others? who knows) does as he is asked. He eventually finds the culprit and kills her. Because, as you may have understood by now Anon, in this theory, the person Victoria believes (that is of the utmost importance++) to be responsible for Albert’s death is her watchdog, Claudia, and she ends up dying, murdered, on the 13th of July 1866.  

As I keep on stressing, the truth doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that Victoria believed that Claudia was behind Albert’s death enough to send a demon after her so that she would died horribly. Whether Claudia is truly involved in Albert’s death or not though, it’s not like we have any clue about this for now. 

Claudia dies year 1866, leaving a grieving husband and two scarred kids behind. Back then, Victoria probably didn’t think that it was in her best interest to eradicate the Phantomhive family, because she’d then find herself with no Watchdog, which is why Vincent and Frances were spared. 

This is unrelated but since we’re on the subject, in my opinion Cedric ends up leaving his kids behind as well shortly after, unable to accept Claudia’s death and the absurd reality that their son now has to work for the woman who executed her. He’ll come back under a different identity (the Undertaker) a few years later and begin working as an Evil Noble for Vincent. 

When Vincent takes on the Watchdog title, he’s 15 years old and still a student at Weston. It’s a position he probably hates his whole life because he expects to end like his mother and, as we know, he and Rachel indeed get murdered because:

Maybe Vincent discovered what the reasons were behind his mother’s death and the Queen decided to kill him

or he found out and was after revenge (to make this a parallel with Ciel) and the Queen decided to kill him (unlikely in my opinion)

or his death is unrelated to whatever happened to Albert and his mom, but he disobeyed the Queen, became a political enemy and thus she got rid of him

However, unlike in 1866, this time Victoria and John Brown probably thought it was safer for them to eradicate the whole family, hence why the Phantomhive heirs (the twins) got abducted in order to suffer a most terrifying death. Make no mistake, whoever had the idea to abduct the twins and have them sold to this horrifying cult is twisted and did it to mock and destroy what remained of this family. 

The rest we know, because it is the series itself. One twin died, one demon was summoned and the survivor swore revenge in exchange for condemning his soul. 

That’s basically it, I hope it was understandable. :)) Of course, you can add some twists to the main idea, so it’s not, like, set in stone or anything. I’ll give you an example below, if you’re interested. :3

Right so, let’s imagine that, rather than Victoria and John being an efficient master & servant duo like Ciel and Seb, he is the one completely manipulating her, using the Albert persona. 

Indeed please remember that our!Ciel had to fight an imaginary chess game against Seb in ch138 to establish ground rules in order to avoid being at a disadvantage, a feat not everyone is capable of, I’m sure. 

So, depending on when John was summoned (after Albert’s death though, I’d still say), if he started using Queen Victoria as his puppet, then it’s likely that he had a blast and not many people would have been able to notice, let alone to stop him, a demon. 

However, at some point it’s likely he ran into an issue, because a close associate to the Queen just so happens to have inherited a lineage that offers a significant advantage against supernatural beings. That’s right I’m talking about the Phantomhive family and its head, the Watchdog, Claudia. 

Sure, we don’t know yet what the lineage is or means, but...

Ciel managed to spot invisible Shinigamis that Seb didn’t even notice

seeing how Bravat recognized that Seb wasn’t human at first glance, it’s possible that Frances, who always makes nasty remarks about Seb, is capable of something similar

if it’s something super secret you can be damn sure it will prove to be an asset against demons and/or shinigamis. 

So anyway, Brown tries to remain discreet, but eventually he has to kill Claudia because she finds out that Queen Victoria is, amongst other things, 100% manipulated by a demon. For all we know, he even justifies it later to Victoria as being because “she is the one who killed Albert”, even if it isn’t the truth at all. 

Years pass and it eventually all happens again with Vincent, leading to his death as well. And now...

our!Ciel trying to double cross the Queen & Brown certainly was noticed. 

This twist works if Brown is a shinigami by the way, even if shinigamis can’t play make believe with humans the way demons can (and the way Brown seems to be doing with Victoria). Additionally, this twist is interesting because it focuses on the Phantomhive lineage as the big reason behind the plot of Kuroshitsuji (it’s because Claudia and Vincent represented a threat to a supernatural being that they were killed). 

However, I do enjoy Victoria ordering Claudia’s murder better, out of revenge for Albert’s death (again, whether Claudia had anything to do with it or not), because in that case she & Brown foil Ciel & Seb perfectly. 

I cannot stress enough that this is purely a crack theory seeing as 100% of it is theoretical and has no real basis in canon for now. In any case, I hope it was a little understandable. 

Thanks for reading as always, I wish you a nice day! :D