#but its not like the movie-that-shall-not-be-named

[convolutedcake]

Okay I've just finished episode 6 of the netflix alta. And I've got to say, no it is not the cartoon regurgitated, but I am enjoying it.

The addition of the 41st being Zukos crew? And that emotional payoff at the end? Loved that.

Yes I have the little niggles of 'why does zuko fight back in the agni kai?' And the new importance placed on Koh. But!

I am still enjoying it. It's got the warmth and light of the cartoon reframed for a new product. But the spirit is still there.

[john-does-whimpering]

every time i see someone who has just started malevolent on my recommended i giggle and giggle because oh brother you have no idea what's coming LMFAOOO

[cpyclopse]

I'm drawing the criminaly underrated Barbie ship: Mariposa x Henna from Barbie Mariposa (and her butterfly fairy friends)

I recently rewatched it for the first time since I was a little kid and I was like wait a minute... this is actually kinda gay. Not that I should've even been surprised basically every Barbie movie is gay as hell

[poems-of-a-lover]

and if i told u guys ive been inactive bc im working on a 3k+ and counting firstprince project. how would u feel. what would u all think.

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Now for the final round!

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature

what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?

sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks

Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021

Arson is so much more fun

It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament

you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service

always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'

the goat account is peak gimmick blog

If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements

Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!

goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting

I wanna see things burn

the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays

watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it

the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.

Please guys bite gavlebocken

Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?

sacred anti-corporate arson

a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!

pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for

the goat is the GOAT

HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON

the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them

they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news

let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you

nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win

doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess

[rosenclaws]

ok, ok “suck on my fingers.” and “don’t make a mess, baby.” prompt with the worse wolverine? btw i love your words!!!

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, overstimulation, cum eating (kinda? i think thats whats this called idk he just sticks his fingers in ur mouth after fingering)

600 follower drabble masterlist

a/n: I'm gonna be so real I am coping hard rn. I am devastated and worried for the future but if writing wolverine smut is what helps that is what I shall do. I hope you like it!!

How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? Fuck at this point you'd believe that you've been here for days. Wrapped in his arms. Trapped under his adamantium bone and super human strength. The sheets slip through your fingers as your grip grows weaker. Logan has been teasing you, playing with you like a piece of meat.

Logan is upright against the headboard. He’s got your back against his chest. One of strong arms is keeping you upright. Forcing you to sit there. His other hand is shoved into your panties. He didn’t even bother to take them off.

There’s something playing on the TV in your room but you lost any sense of your surroundings about an hour ago. Logan likes to play with his food. Always has.

Your big hot boyfriend loves to make a mess of things before he eats.

“Oh Fuck Logannnn.” You whine as he slips two of his fingers into your already soaked cunt.

Your panties are soaked from Logan’s touch. He won’t even bother taking them off. He likes the obscene sight of his hands down them. Loves seeing his fingers disappear and watch your cute face scrunch up in pleasure.

You’re trying with all your might to squirm away. Not that you wanted him to stop but the pleasure was overwhelming. Your body was moving without your brain at this point. Pure instinct. Logan growls in your ear. Shoving another finger inside to shut you up.

“Quiet. I’m not done with you yet.” You tilt your neck to the side as Logan’s rough thumb starts to circle your clit harshly.

The sounds of your pleasure are loud and Logan is unashamedly eating them up. His fingers movie faster and faster. Pounding into you with a force that makes you scream. Your dripping down his hands and onto the sheets. Logan tuts and shakes his head mockingly.

“Don’t make a mess baby.” He scolds as he drives his fucking fingers deep inside of you. Fucking liar. He loves when you make a mess. Nothing boosts his ego more.

He feels so good. His fingers are tearing you apart. He’s hell bent on making you come harder than you ever have. He can never get enough. It's like a competition with himself. Making sure you know only he can do this to you over and over. A pressure builds deep in your core and your eyes widen when you feel a certain feeling.

“Logan wait I-“ Your pleas are silenced as another moan rips through your throat.

You chant his name over and over as your legs start to shake. Logan watches in awe as you squirt all over the bed. He doesn't let up as he pulls as much as he can. You're moaning only pushes him further. He's whispering dirty things in your ear but you can barely hear him. Your body is screaming in pure pleasure and its all you can hear.

"Too much." You manage to whimper out as Logan continues to fuck his fingers into you.

He hums and in a moment of mercy decides you've had enough for tonight. Such a good pet. His fingers are coated. He pulls them apart and smirks as he brings them to your lips.

“Come on, suck on my fingers." He coos as you lazily open your mouth. Your perfect pretty lips surrounding his fingers, sucking your own juices from his fingers.

"Taste yourself, see why I can't get enough of this delicious cunt." His eyes grow dark as he watches your lips take his fingers so easily. You look up with glossy eyes. Completely fucked out because of him.

"Cute." He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you closer. His fingers slip out of your mouth and he dips back down into your soaked underwear. You whine when he gently brushes over your sensitive clit.

"Shhh sweetheart," His moves are softer this time, gentle.

"Just relax. Let me get my taste too."

[milky-aeons]

— 'TIL DEATH DO US PART

ᯓ★ starring: dazai osamu, kunikida doppo, atsushi nakajima, chuuya nakahara and fyodor dostoevsky; what they would be like on their wedding day.

warnings: marriage, swearing, alcohol-intake, wife reader, w.c 3.5k

ᯓ★𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈 𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔

: ̗̀➛ Dazai, who never really acted like a conventional human being, also did not propose like one, either. After dating the enigmatic Armed Detective Agent for, by then, two years, you did not expect him to get down on one knee and produce a beautiful ring, like you had seen in the movies. But you also did not expect him to drop the question like it was a frivolous thing one random Tuesday evening while you both shared a drink at your favourite late-night bar.

Blinking, your glass frozen mid-way to your lips, you turned to him and said, "What did you... just say?" That mischievous smile you were so quick to fall for flashed across his face. "I said, why don't we get married, hmm~?"

: ̗̀➛ There was no other answer in your mind, your heart, than a resounding yes. For he was the thorn in your side as much as he was your other half. Through the whirlwind of months following, you found it hard to discern where one day ended and the next began. Time bled together until you didn't have nearly enough of it, and the day of the ceremony was here. It was a casual affair not bound too tightly by tradition. By the help of the agents, an old, abandoned manor sitting by the riverside had been fashioned into your very own cathedral.

: ̗̀➛ Yosano Akiko fussed over your dress, your hair, your makeup — to a point where you thought she was having way too much fun. And yet, she left no stones unturned, either. As you walked in through the building decorated with bouquets of flowers and rows upon rows of familiar faces, she hooked her arm into yours and walked by your side. Using Thou Shalt Not Die, the doctor instructed fluttering, iridescent butterflies to sit against your dress and your veil, the cornet of your hair, any place she could in order to make you glow.

: ̗̀➛ He stood to his towering height at the alter with his back turned to you in an immaculate suit of white. And when he spun to face you, you fell in love for a second time — with his brunet hair tucked behind his ear, the blue rose pinned to his suit lapel and his eyes; how they watched you. With a type of stunned disbelief that melted into adoration. When you came to stand by his side in front of the pastor, his hand reached down to twine with your fingers, and he whispered;

"You — are absolutely breath-taking."

: ̗̀➛ Kyouka Izumi played the role of ring-bearer, delivering a small white pillow with the two shining bands once it was time to say your vows. Dazai reached out tenderly, slowly, as if to preserve this moment for as long as he could, and lifted the veil from your face. His eyes shuttered. He reached for your hand and slid the smaller band onto your finger, his eyes downcast, his voice low and intimate.

"Through you I have found what it means to love, what it is to feel human, and while I am by your side — I endeavour to protect and earn that title. For as long as I shall live, I am yours. My soul, my name, they are all yours."

: ̗̀➛ As the ceremony reached its closure, when you had both been bound to each other in heart and in soul, Dazai could not wait another moment before he could reach for you. As soon as the words you may kiss the bride left the pastor's lips, Dazai had looped his arms around your waist and bent you back into a dramatic dip. Cheers and claps filled the riverside chapel, you smiled widely against his lips, expecting nothing less of him. Your soulmate. Your husband. Your Osamu, who's name you brandished as your own.

𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 . . .

"Kunikida-kun~!" Dazai's loud voice, a little accentuated with alcohol, swam over the crowd. "Play the thing we talked about!"

Curious, your head turned to the sounds of footsteps shuffling onto the dancefloor illuminated by pale spotlights. The afterparty was in full swing, you had been flanked by a group of well-wishing women when your husband's voice reached your ears. Each of you observed as Dazai, alongside Kunikida, Junichirou, Atsushi and little Kenji took centre stage. Excited murmurs fluttered through the throng.

"What on earth are they doing?" You wondered, and then the starting notes to All The Single Ladies began blaring from the party speakers. Your mouth dropped. Every single one of the Armed Detective Agents began to move in unison to the beat of the music.

And for the third time, you fell in love with him, again. Expecting that there would be many more to come.

ᯓ★𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐀 𝐃𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐎

: ̗̀➛ Kunikida Doppo, who, at first, had not planned to marry you. After all, you only met twenty out of his proposed fifty-eight requirements that made the perfect wife. That was the thing about your relationship, however — you had come into the agent's life unplanned, uninvited, and turned every one of his rigid ideals up on their heads.

: ̗̀➛ Yet it was only telling of the Idealist and his old habits, how Kunikida went about asking for your hand in marriage. It had been early on a weekday afternoon when he had called you into one of the private meeting rooms of the Agency's office. He'd pushed his glasses up the strong bridge of his nose and laid out his terms. He'd even written a business contract for you to sign. The page had gone flying in the air when you had tackled him from across the table. Smattering a thousand kisses against his blushing, flustered face and breathing the words yes, yes, you silly man, yes!

: ̗̀➛ To concur with both your family's wishes and his own, a traditional wedding was set in motion. Kunikida Doppo was always a man to abide by rules and regulations, but it had occurred to you that perhaps he was taking this affair a little too seriously. For your parents, he gifted them the very traditional shiraga thread. During the sake ceremony, the blond sat ramrod straight, moving mechanically to take sips from the three cups. One for past, one for present, and one for your future. Together.

: ̗̀➛ He was so serious, in fact, that you had become nervous on the morning of your wedding — your most beloved of friends helping you into your garments, trying to soothe your thoughts. What if he doesn't want to marry me? You would whisper as they fashioned your hair up. What if I've forced him into this, what if he's unhappy? To one of your many anxieties, your friend had met your eyes in the mirror, and smiled.

"Oh, honey," She chuckled, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. "You should see the way that man looks at you."

: ̗̀➛ Her words played in your mind as the traditional music was strung during your procession to meet him. The black colours he donned made his long ponytail appear golden, his body strong, his face even more handsome. As he watched you come down the shrine walkway to be by his side, the blond reached up with one hand to push his glasses away and covered his eyes. It had taken you a few months after to realise that in that moment, Kunikida Doppo had shed a tear.

: ̗̀➛ It was not tradition for vows to be spoken, and yet Kunikida asked to say a few words as the ceremony drew to a close. You watched him carefully as he picked up the microphone, curious at the intentions he had. It was in that moment that your newly wed husband faced the crowd and brought the mic to his lips.

"First, I would like to thank you all for gracing our marriage with both your presence and your blessings. It is something we will see not to squander." "Second, I would like to say some thoughts of mine, if you would all be so inclined. Marriage, to me, was initially an agreement of convenience. I had the perfect woman laid out seamlessly. And in my wife that stands with me today, I say that she is not that perfect woman I so wished to find. But she is everything more. She is my best friend, she is my support, she is the person I go to sleep thinking of and wake up searching for. To me, she is my home, and I will take care of her fiercely."

: ̗̀➛ At your small reception, Kunikida was stolen away from you by some affiliates of the Armed Detective Agency and had his sake cup topped up one too many times. He found you afterwards, and proclaimed both his love and adoration for his newly-betrothed to everyone and anyone that was within a five mile radius.

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 . . .

"Come here," You whispered to him, now in the comfort of your own apartment walls. A considerably uncoordinated Kunikida was struggling out of his Haorihimo, cursing in drunken slurs and promises of retribution to the small sliver of fabric.

Your fingers eased the cloth out from underneath his arms and you began to loosen the knot. Your husband was staring up at you from behind his crooked glasses. He swayed a little, and you stood in front of him, ready to support him if he went toppling forward off the bed.

But then, two strong, solid arms came up to the small of your back and he crushed you against him. Burying his head into your chest, he murmured;

"From the very first day I met you... I loved you. D'ya know that?"

Your heart grew tiny wings in your chest and began to sore. Smiling, you reached up, carding your fingers through his blond locks and undoing the tight ponytail.

"The first day you met me, you told me I was inefficient and lazy, my dear husband." You mused.

He grunted. "Same... thing."

ᯓ★𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐀

: ̗̀➛ Your relationship with Atsushi was one that blossomed slow and tenderly. It was a natural progression, after three years of happy dating, for the agent to ask you to marry him. Everything Atsushi Nakajima did in regards to showing his affection for you was always timid and reserved — you never expected it; the elaborate surprise he had waiting in store for you that morning you came into the Agency's offices just like you always did.

: ̗̀➛ Well, perhaps he had a little help from the other agents, for the office was barren when you entered. Your eyebrows had creased at the very uncharacteristic quiet of the usually chaotic area you worked in. You had checked the time, wondering if you had showed up a little too early on accident. But then, there was a voice — the voice of agent Dazai Osamu, shouting at you to come to the nearest window and to do so urgently—!

Each of the agents stood at the sidewalk, all holding up a sign with different characters that made up a whole sentence. A question. And Atsushi — your sweet, kind, caring Atsushi, was perched in the middle, the biggest bouquet of roses in his sheepish hands. Will you marry me?

: ̗̀➛ Both you and Atsushi decide to get married somewhere far removed from the city skyline of Yokohama. You wanted somewhere special to remember this day, and perhaps, the great outdoors and stretching greens spoke to Atsushi's beastly side a little more, too. So you chose the heart of a nearby woodland where a great, ancient willow tree served as your alter.

: ̗̀➛ Atsushi wore a suit of sky-blue. You wore a simple slip dress decorated with accents of lace and flowers, Kenji had twined some wildflowers into your hair. The fauna of the forest acted as your choir when you walked down the small trail of brambles to your soon-to-be husband who waited at the base of the winding trunk.

: ̗̀➛ The reception was held in a greenhouse funded by the Agency's private books — you and Atsushi were members, after all, so Kunikida took a little less persuading than usual to move his ledgers around. For lunch, you served chazuke, and when you took the first dance, Atsushi's eyes appeared more gold than they were violet as they looked at you so lovingly the whole time.

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 . . .

"Atsushi, they'll notice that we're gone." You giggled, bunching your dress up so you could step over the little bush of thickets. When you both reached the winding roots of the willow tree you promised yourselves to each other underneath, Atsushi transformed his arms and legs into their tiger equivalents.

"Dazai-san said he'd keep everyone entertained." He whispered, and then stepped forward to wrap his soft arms around you. "Are you ready?"

"It may be a little late for second thoughts." You teased, but looped your arms around his slender neck and relaxed into his hold. The new golden band on your finger glinted in the moonlight.

And using that tiger-strength, Atsushi dug his claws into the ancient tree bark and began to climb. Higher and higher until you both broke through the canopy cover and could look to the millions of stars winking at you overhead.

"Oh, Atsushi." You breathed in awe, taking in the wonders above. "Oh, it's beautiful."

Your husband nuzzled into your hair and whispered, "Each one represents all the lifetimes I'd still find and fall in love with you in."

ᯓ★𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀

: ̗̀➛ It had initially been you and your General lover's plan to keep your engagement quiet and have a small affair away from town. Just the two of you, because Chuuya thought some of his colleagues were insufferable pains in his ass, and all hell would break loose if they were to figure out they had a wedding plan on their hands. It was, however, unfortunate, that you two had been discussing what type of ceremony you'd like to have when Hirotsu was just about to turn one of the corners. It took exactly one hour for the entire Port Mafia to know. Two for it to reach the Armed Detective Agency.

: ̗̀➛ It was no longer a personal affair. This wedding became a spectacle within the Mafia's ranks. From the lowest levels all the way to the boss himself, everyone was abuzz with ideas and anticipation, excited that one of their top brass was getting married and they could all take advantage of the time off to have a grand party. Chuuya threatened to resign several times, you always laughed at how excited the entire criminal organisation became at the prospect of celebration.

: ̗̀➛ True to the boss' word, you and Chuuya's wedding was held in one of the grandest churches Yokohama had to offer — having mysteriously skipped the two year waiting list. The building was laved in gold and stain glass windows. Chuuya wore a fine suit of blood-red and a black tie that contrasted with his wild curls, his hard blue eyes. But when they saw you come down the aisle, they softened, and when he said his vows to you, you never thought anyone would look at you with such adoration ever again.

: ̗̀➛ The main event was held in the bowels of the Port Mafia — one of the largest show-rooms this organisation had to offer, with chandeliers hanging from the ceilings and a private band playing any songs they were requested. Chuuya, for the majority of your reception, could not seem to keep his hands off of you. If you were not by his hip, his eyes would instantly go searching for you within the throng of party-goers. When he did find you, he would place a hand to the small of your back, he'd lean in to kiss you and say;

"There you are, my wife."

: ̗̀➛ There was another reason as to why Chuuya Nakahara was originally so hellbent on taking your wedding somewhere more quiet and peaceful. And it came in the form of a brunet ex-partner waltzing into the organisation's party, a broad simper on his infuriating face. Dazai Osamu took your hand and kissed the back of it, extending his deepest sympathies and that if you ever needed to blow off steam, he could give you his number.

: ̗̀➛ The Port Mafia ballroom had originally started off with three grand chandeliers. After Dazai had purred those taunting words, there was then, only two.

: ̗̀➛ After the many shards had been swept from the floor by a cleaning crew, the private band struck an up-beat quartet. Both you and your newly-wed husband took to the floor for the first dance. Chuuya's hand splayed protectively against your back, his other gloved palm slotting into yours and guiding you to twirl, skip, spin.

𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 . . .

"Shit, sorry." He grumbled when your foreheads were touching, the proximity sending his breath fanning across your cheeks. His pointy canines were jutting against his bottom lip. "That motherfucker — he just makes me see red."

"Hey, it's okay." You said, catching his eyes. "Because I love you. You, Nakahara. I am all yours and no one else's."

Those words touched something deep within this man's chest. Of course, the proof that you were his sat in the form of two stacked rings on your left hand, but to hear it. To look into your beautiful eyes and see the amount of love there.

He surprised you by reaching down to your hips and lifting you up, twirling you around, around, around.

"And I'm forever yours, babydoll."

ᯓ★𝐅𝐘𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐄𝐕𝐒𝐊𝐘

: ̗̀➛ The initial letter you received from Fyodor asking for your hand in marriage — originally, you believed it to be fake. A shallow joke from someone who knew of you and the mastermind's occasional on-and-off relationship whenever he returned to your homeland. But as you traced the delicate loops of the handwriting that looked so much like his own, in the intimate moonlight beams of late night — you'd let yourself imagine. Hope. Only for it to swell and dwindle like ashes of a flame. Because there was just no way he would ask to marry you. That he would marry, at all.

: ̗̀➛ It was fitting then; how palpable your shock was when the slender, pale man you had accidentally fallen in love with — like a fool — was standing on the other side of your door that early morning. You had blinked hard, rubbed your eyes, wondered if you were weary from too many sleepless nights. When the stars had cleared from your vision, he was still there. An amused little smile stretched against his lips.

"So? Are you ready to get married?" You stared at him. And stared. And then dropped your morning cup of coffee onto the tiles of your hallway.

: ̗̀➛ At the news of your sudden betrothal, your family were both elated with a healthy dose of scepticism. Who is this man you are intending to marry, they fluttered around you with questions when you broke the news. Fyodor? I've never heard you speak of him, why do you intend to marry this man, girl? At that, you had smiled, not bothering to hide the small heat of blush on your ears, and murmured;

"Because he's a thief, and he stole my heart a very long time ago."

: ̗̀➛ The wedding was held in an old cathedral of gothic architecture. You don't think you've ever seen Fyodor look so refined; standing there in his simple suit of stone-grey with a black shirt. He had his hair tucked behind his ears, his eyebags were a little less pronounced, his skin brighter — but perhaps that was just the early-morning light. When you stood before your husband to-be and handed your heart over to him, for him, there was a shift in his eyes. You could not explain it, but you knew it ran deep. You knew that in his own way, he was also handing himself over to you. And you would accept all of him, just like you accepted his name.

: ̗̀➛ Much to the dismay of your family, you did not hold a wedding reception after the ceremony, but that was only because Fyodor decided to walk with you through the freezing streets of Moscow. He held your hand, and even though on many nights where you lay together he was stone-cold, today, he felt warm.

𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 . . .

"Fyodor?"

"Hmm?" He answered, noticing the sheepish tone in your voice. You looked up at him with those big doe eyes.

"Why did you ask to marry me?"

Fyodor held your gaze for a long, pregnant second. It was at that moment that a single flake of snow fluttered down from the grey sky and landed on his immaculate suit. Then another. Each one the same colour as your dress, each one different to the rest.

Fyodor held out his hand to catch them. "Why does the snow fall? Because it is natural. It is meant to be. I married you because it is the way I wish to fall. With you, by my side."

requested by the lovely [ @cocodrilofeliz! ]

[angelicckisses]

POLAROIDS 2

read part one: here

warnings: !NOT PROOFREAD! bestfriend!chris x reader, handjob, sub chris, use of names (baby,babyboy) and idk what else to think of

a/n: i’m sorry if its bad but a couple of you guys wanted a part 2 so you ask and you shall receive. I’m not to sure if i like this one i have mixed feelings but i tried and if anything please tell me if y’all enjoyed it or not😭 i will try to get more into writing though 😁

✧˚ · . A new day came along, you, chris, matt, and nick were all hanging out together at their house.

Just chilling and watching movies as y’all stuffed your mouths with snacks. You were sitting beside chris at the end of the couch, your legs were exposed due to your shorts and so was cleavage, thanks to your tank top.

Chris was having a hard time concentrating on the movie with you right next to him and your body he was absolutely obsessed with in sight. Whole reason you even wore this was for Chris, you desperately wanted a reaction out of him and you noticed it was working.

Time passed by and you noticed how chris kept shifting around under the blanket, you couldn’t help but take a look and see the growing bulge in his pants and his eyes staring at your legs. You stayed quiet, trying to act like you weren’t paying attention to him as your hand slowly made it way under the blanket and to his lap, his gaze went directly towards you, looking at you with a look of confusion and a hint of neediness.

Who were you to deny?

you licked your lips and kept your eyes on the screen as your hand slipped under the waist band of his pants, slowly palming him over his boxers. Soft whines and whimpers slipped from his mouth as he thrusted his hips up slightly into your palm.

Thankfully Matt and Nick couldn’t hear it over how loud the TV was. He shifted closer to you and leaned his head against your shoulder. Quietly begging you for more. “p-please, more, please, i-i’ll be so good, promise..” you chuckled softly under your breath as you heard his little begs and pleads before suddenly slipping your hand under his boxers, your hand coming in contact with his rock hard member that was already leaking pre-cum, you slowly pumped your hand up and down his shaft, trying not to go to fast and get him all noisy. “mmm— thank you— fuck! thank you s-so much..” he whimpered out as he tried his best not to thrust his hips up into your fist.

You looked over at him, watching as he kept his gaze on you while he was whimpering and moaning mess before looking over at Matt and Nick, still focused on the movie. You continued the movements with your hand, moving it faster as you heard his breathing pick up. Chris bit down on his lip, trying to keep himself from being to loud, he definitely didn’t want his brothers knowing what the hell he was doing right now.

You ran your thumb over his slit, receiving a tiny whimper from him. His hips started to thrust up into your fist. “you close babyboy, hm?” you mumbled quietly in that soft, gentle tone he absolutely loved. “y-yes, so close— please let me cum— ngh! please..” the poor boy begged, “go ahead, baby..” you whispered into his ear, and with one more twist of your fist he covered your hand in his warm load of cum.

Panting heavily and resting his head against the crook of your neck now. You slowly removed your hand from his boxers, wiping your hand off with his shirt hoping his brothers would suspect he just dirtied himself or something.

After he had calmed himself down he stayed close to you and muttered small thank yous. After the movie finished, you had left and Chris was in his room, thinking about what happened not even less than an hour ago,

he had never been more happier and was glad his brothers didn’t suspect anything at all. ✧˚ · .

text message from Matt:

“kid thinks he’s slick.”

[johnbrand]

Covenant of the Brotherhood

With @sjw-publishings

“Hello?” 

John’s voice reverberated back to him a few moments later after travelling across the empty space. The main hall was lit up, the soft combination of yellow and white lights filling the void with an almost artificial warmth. John called out again, but still there came no reply but his own. There was no one else in the large room, not even a single piece of greenery to signal any life. And yet, somehow, the space felt alive.

Cautiously treading down the middle aisle, John began his descent towards the front of the church. He scanned through the wooden pews as he passed them, each unsurprisingly empty as the previous one had been. John had lived in the neighborhood for almost eight years, having moved to his current apartment after graduating from college. He could have sworn that he knew every locale in the area, practically every character too. But John had never once before seen this church. 

It did not look new enough to have been built recently, but neither did it appear old enough to have been a historic landmark. The church was, as best as John could put it, generic. The exterior held nothing to hint at its denomination or intentions, its name “Covenant of the Brotherhood” only adding to its indistinct quality. The interior design further emphasized the blandness of it all. John inwardly analyzed how the beige-to-brown palette solidified the church as a place of tradition and conformity.

But it was not only the church’s seemingly sudden existence that bothered John. The neighborhood, an LGBTQ+ hotspot, was known for its absence of many religious entities in the first place. While some neighbors did participate in spiritual traditions, most were like John: living their loudest, happiest, gayest lives away from other-worldly caveats.

And as an athletic, muscular 30-year-old famous for his promiscuous abilities, John was particularly not in need of sexual guilt. After all, who else was supposed to top all the young twinks helplessly roaming around this side of town? And with six and a half feet, bouncy curls, and a brutishly masculine face, how would those young twinks be able deny him?

In fact, that was what John had been doing before he entered the church. The church was only a couple of blocks away from his meet up with Alexander Carmen, a man a few years younger, a few pounds lighter, and a few inches shorter than John himself. Alexander was one of John's favorite partners, their compatibility to the point that the no-relationship-nonsense John had even given away his phone number so that the two could track one another’s locations. But upon seeing the church, John had felt himself drawn in. And now, he found himself approaching the altar.

Stepping up to the glorified wooden table, John did a quick scan of the room once more. He could feel the gigantic, minimalistic cross looking down on him from behind, placing a certain weight over the typically confident male. John did not want to be caught standing behind the altar, particularly in an outfit as skimpy and tight as the one he was currently wearing. The tank and short shorts against his muscular frame was a callout to 70’s and 80’s B-horror movies. It was captivating to his admirers, and most likely insulting to the church.

With no true intentions in mind, John reoriented his focus to the altar. A gigantic book lay before him, presumably the Bible for the pastor of the church. Underneath its title was inscribed “RSAA Edition,” which frankly meant nothing to John. Carelessly, he snatched the heavy object before taking a seat against the back wall. He then swept open the cover and let the golden pages fly, their foreign wisdom fluttering before the gay man. The action was anticlimactic, but as the page was laid before him, John found his eyes drawn to handwriting beside the actual scripture.

Thou shall be faithful to the Covenant.

It was a simple message, and yet almost cryptic. It was like John understood the meaning of it, but the wrong one. He repeated the phrase out loud, cockily with an edge of snark. The Bible held no response, silent upon the cradle formed by his crossed left leg.

“Thou shall be faithful to the Covenant. Thou shall be faithful to the Covenant. Thou shall be faithful to the Covenant…” John rambled to himself, slightly disgusted. Each announcement took on a different character as he tested the statement.

Typically a strong, proud male, John found himself attempting to compensate for not understanding the phrase. The statement had him feeling emasculated, the church’s indifference to the world outside it only bolstering John's awkward state. He was dwarfed by the giant empty space before him, looked down upon by the wooden cross above his head in the place he called his home. 

“God, this stuff is so idiotic,” John proclaimed, giving up before flipping to a new page. With his eyes drifting across the verses, he did not consciously recognize that his large cock had awoken. Absent-mindedly, John freed his right hand to alleviate the tension, his rough palm moving back and forth through the mesh fabric in an all-too-familiar pattern.

“A reading from the First Epistle to John, chapter two, verse six,” John mocked. Its scripture was straight-forward: “Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked.” But it was the commentary scribbled beneath that was more intriguing. 

One shan’t stand out above your fellow brethren, just enough to lead when necessary and attract them for our cause.

The analysis was not unnecessarily correct, but John could sense a lingering irk behind the writing. It should have made him uneasy, but after saying it aloud, he felt slightly more relaxed. 

Within moments, John had shifted to a new section. “Another John,” he noticed. “‘Truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do’.”

Still unaware of his right hand’s fondling, John traced the arrow down to the accompanying notes.

You have to flee from temptation, brother. Submit and become one with the flock.

The words echoed within John’s mind, their callout dissonant against his own mentality and causing his forced smirk to falter slightly. In an attempt to regain his former confidence, he added a corny “Amen!” It did not lighten John's mood.

“‘Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?’” John quoted, having again run away to a new book in the Bible. He adjusted himself in his seat while doing so, dropping his leg and giving his pouch some room to breathe. In turn, this action subconsciously evicted John's right hand from its position, forcing it to find something new to hold. To John’s chagrin, he found this new scripture came with a similar message to the previous passage’s.

Thou shall be a body worthy of God’s temple. And only a brother’s body is worthy of such divine glory.

In response to the reading, John’s dick pulsed, the shock of this alien form of ecstasy forcing a soft “...amen…” to moan through his lips. After an embarrassed flush, John began to subtly bounce his leg before continuing to read, the rubbing friction enough to do the trick. The texture of his shorts was soft, but it eventually changed into a stricter nature. Starchy, unrelenting, one John had to work against if he wanted to engage in certain behaviors. The new suit trousers were not meant for the unorthodox activities John was attempting to engage in.

“Perhaps something else?” John asked to the abyss, the tapping of his smaller feet shifting to the duller clunk of well-used dress shoes. Each bounce sent a microscopic wave up his legs, adjusting them accordingly. A hefty number of inches were erased away as the legs became leaner and more compact. They now reflected a cycle of exercise attuned to the average human amount, rather than a tailored schedule. Slimmer, yet toned thighs led down to decent calves, which by then were partially covered in thick wool socks. 

Having flipped around to the Book of Job, John learned that: “‘The Spirit of God has made man, and the breath of the Almighty gives man life’.” The following comment was similar to the rest:

The Covenant will make the brother, the Covenant will give the brother purpose.

John did not hear the “Amen” leave his lips, or notice that his steadying breath deflated his muscular chest into a flatter terrain. Straightening his back, he continued to absorb the material. His shoulders rolled back in response, slimming as they conformed to the tightness of the suit jacket materializing on top of his lengthening shirt. John was lost in his own thoughts, the handwritten messages almost whispering to him. It was as if whoever had written the notes was providing instruction. Shaping a conductor of sorts, a conductor of souls. 

With his grip on the Bible still firm, but not as desperate, John envisioned himself as the conductor. His arms had to hold just the right amount of strength, eradicating any superfluous musculature to only leave behind what was necessary for guidance, not appearance. His left hand would continue holding His holy book, each finger shrinking into a more appropriate, conservative size. And John envisioned in his right hand the baton that would lead his people. 

Suddenly drug out of his thoughts, John realized he was already holding his baton. He opened his fingers to reveal a small cross pendant in his palm. John did not know where the necklace came from, or why he was wearing it. But something about the pendant made him prideful, excited, and joyously flustered. In response, John properly shut his legs out of respect, squeezing his other, anxiously throbbing baton between his legs.

The next page John landed on, he did not bother to read the typed words. The handwritten letters were more intriguing to him now.

One must stick to the roots of tradition, whilst conforming to social norms like every other Asian-American.

“Amen,” John replied as a belt slunk through his trousers' loops. Once it had circumnavigated John’s waist, it harshly tightened itself, forcing John to belt out a stronger “A-men!”

The belt’s tightening sent a corresponding signal to John’s buttocks, which instantly closed their doors.  The closure sparked pleasurably. “So good…ugh…” John grunted as the baton between his legs shrunk from the pressure, resulting in a more average-sized, family-friendly instrument. His right hand began to soften its grip on the pendant, hoping to squeeze his precious jewels, but something was holding him back. 

“Must obey…scripture…” John muttered, his eyes reading along.

One must only produce for the sole reason of producing.

John had to bear his own cross, literally. The crimson flush that had taken over his skin rushed rampantly across his frame, the tanning heat delivering additional waves of melanin. An amber hue settled in quickly and adjusted his features as needed, restructuring his face with a smoother, masculine glow and softening his curls into a sleek, straightened substitute. 

Pent up and approaching euphoria yet no touching his manhood, John's eyes befell an unusual nuance in the scripture. Instead of an accompanying physical note, there was only a simple line emphasized. The words were highlighted, underlined, and circled, not a single comment made. John understood that this scripture was of the utmost importance, their meaning requiring no interpretation.

“Thou shall not…want mphhh…” The words could not leave John’s shaking lips.

“Thou shall not want mmm…mmmmmf…mehh…” John attempted again, a bit stronger this time. His confidence was building.

“Thou shall not want…men.” John announced, his voice clearer. But he knew he could do it better. He had his baton. Now he had to act like a conductor.

“Thou shall not want men,” his voice was ringing. His pouch was pulsing. He had to be a conductor of souls. He had to speak like a pastor. “Thou shall not want men!” 

John repeated the words over and over, each statement more powerful then the last, each statement solidifying its truth. His truth. The fifth time he chanted it, John remembered all the Sunday School teachings. The tenth time he chanted it, he remembered his undergraduate degree in Theology and Masters in Divinity. The twentieth time he chanted it, he remembered the engagement ring stowed away in his desk.

Eventually, the outside world had entirely faded from view. John could see the vision before him. The church, the Covenant of the Brotherhood, filled with people. The congregation from the front pew to the back, out onto the streets, out across the world. “A-Men,” these women and men, these Christian women and men would reply to him. “A-Men!” these Christian, Asian-American women and men would reply to him. “A-MEN!” these heterosexual women and men would reply to him. John wanted them, he wanted to be with them, he wanted to be them. 

John stood up and with a gasp proclaimed a defiant “A-MEN!” His eyes rolled back momentarily as the newly abstinent being experienced a spiritual ecstasy, his reality reoriented towards a new goal, a new purpose. Once the rush dissipated, he proceeded forward to the altar as if nothing had happened, replacing his Revised Standard Asian-American edition of the Bible back in its home. He then tucked his cross pendant back underneath his shirt and adjusted his suit. He had to appear presentable after all, for he represented the Covenant and the Brotherhood.

“Hello?” A voice called out from the back of the church. “John? John Brand? Are you here?”

A young, effeminate man scurried down the middle aisle, soon approaching the only other soul in the room. 

“John?” the young man questioned, noting a strange familiarity with the Korean-American pastor before him. “Is that…you?”

“Apologies, my brother,” the charismatic man calmly began. “It's Jo-Han. Pastor Bang Jo-Han, but you may address me as Pastor Bang.”

The young man was confused, unaware of how to describe his situation, or his relationship to whom he was searching for. “But my phone says my boyfrie…uhh…someone I like was last active here?”

“Ah but brother, you are in the right place! I like any son of God!” As if to reassure the young man, the pastor gave his shoulder a rough squeeze. Although they were of the same height and only a few years apart in age, the paternal gesture was received appropriately, as the young man relaxed under the grip.

The gesture was also received inappropriately, for the young man realized the pastor, while a bit average looking for an Asian-American, was quite attractive. “Of course I like you, you are a part of my youth ministry are you not?”

“Youth ministry?” the young man’s heart sped up again. “What do you mean p…pastor?”

Pastor Bang’s smile was warm, fatherly even. “Let’s go back to my office, I’m sure I will be able to clear some things up for you there.”

[midnightwriter21]

aot hcs: them as boyfriends

characters: levi, eren, connie

warnings: i have the mouth of a sailor im srry

an: first aot fic lesss gooooooo!!! lmk if y’all want another part with diff characters!!

LEVI ACKERMAN

*sigh* he's so girlfriend

starting off strong...

this man is NAWT kissing you in public lololol

he's got a reputation to uphold

however!!

he will show pda in much smaller, more subtle ways

walking down the street, he's offering his arm for you to loop yours through

or guiding you with a hand on your lower back

if y'all are walking through a crowd he is CRUSHING your hand with his grip

he's not trying to hurt your hand haha

he's just strong, can't see over peoples heads, and doesn't wanna lose you in the sea of people

he'll keep that unbothered bored look on his face but just know that on the inside that this man is stressed lmfao

alsoooo

service bf to the maxxxxx

dude is not good with expressing his feelings

especially romantic ones lol

so he expresses his love by doing little tasks for you

oh you forgot to get food for your cat?

levi already has it

can't get that jar of pickles open?

he's snatching it out your hands and popping it open

and you already know your house is about to be the CLEANEST its ever been on god

next

i feel so bad

for the person to shit talk you in front of levi

on my mama let somebody say something slick lmfaooo

he is not gonna let it slide

forget getting physically violent

this mans mouth is absolutely DIABOLICAL

in more ways than one if ur picking up what im putting down

*ahem* will make said person cry with his words alone

period.

EREN YEAGER

meowwwwwwwww

bark bark bark

*insert other animal noise here*

huh? somebody say something?

no? okay

AHEM

this man right here? cocky asf

dude is fine

and knows it too

and he knows y’all make a FINEEEE ASS COUPLE

shows you and your relationship off all the time

not a day goes by where he’s not posting you on social media

and he coordinates yalls outfits too omg

he makes sure his clothes match yours

not exactly matching ofc but the colors

if ur wearing a red dress to an event

he’s wearing a red tie

it’s a casual day and you’re wearing a blue shirt or dress?

his shoes/accessories/etc. are gonna be the same color

it’s an aesthetic that he keeps up with. period.

also he CANNOT keep ur name out his mouth

brings you up in every conversation possible

“i think y/n mentioned wanting to go see that movie too. was it good?”

“nah sorry, my girl said she wants to have a date night soon so i’ll have to pass. we can make plans another day though.”

“i gotta go to the store when i leave here. i wanna get some stuff to surprise my girlfriend, y/n, when i get home.”

and he is handsy asf

bro is touching you at all times swear

it’s impossible to walk past this man without him latching onto you and lathering you in kisses and feeling you up

in public he’s gonna keep it respectful tho

unless he knows he won’t get caught lmfao

introduces you to mikasa and armin

wants all of the important people in his life to get along ofc

i love him sm

CONNIE SPRINGER

let’s get right into it shall we?

as soon as y’all make it official

i mean the MINUTE y’all are boyfriend girlfriend

he’s calling up all his friends to tell them the news

and then he’s making plans for them to meet up so he can introduce you

i feel like he takes you on a lot of fun dates

y’all don’t jus go get dinner and then go home

that’s too lame for connie

he’s taking you to laser tag, haunted houses, trampoline parks, etc.

and let me tell you this rn

come close

connie is NOT teaming up with you for laser tag

he’s making sure he’s on the opposite team so he can’t hunt you down over and over

will not take it easy on you idc

anyways… when y’all do go to dinner

7/10 times sasha is third wheeling yall

maybe jean too lol

idk i jus think that for connie it’s “the more the merrier”

especially since dinner isn’t something that’s gonna get his blood pumping yk?

but at least y’all can all get drunk and be funny together as a group right?

connie is so incredibly dedicated to being a dumbass around you

like as long as it makes you laugh, nothing is off limits

bro is constantly cracking jokes, telling embarrassing stories, doing stupid shit in public

he wants you happy. at. all. times.

this being said

if ur sad connie is doing anything and everything to cheer you up

i’m talking getting you ur fav snacks, renting that movie you always talk about, and pulling you close for a snuggle

yeah so i want to eat him basically

[bentnotbroken1fanfiction]

So, I've seen a couple of people express concern or feel a pressure to hurry up and write their fics before THK ends in two weeks, and I'm here to just say that you don't have to rush to complete a fic before the show ends. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills or something, but the Thai BL fandom community is SO weird when it comes to its fanfiction.

It's the only place where I've seen fandom last only as long as the show is on air??? That's dumb. That is so dumb! I have been in fandoms that haven't had a movie or book in 10+ years and there are STILL fanfics being written, or at the very least being read. So why do I see so many folks disheartened when BL shows end? We can still read and write for them!!!

I literally just read a TEEN WOLF fanfic the other day, and I read The Untamed fic on the regular. Not to mention, the fandom that shall not be named. That shit is going STRONG despite all the controversy surrounding its author.

So, write your Heart Killers fanfics even when the show ends! Read and write FadelStyle and KantBison in a month, two months a year from now! No one is stopping you! You're allowed to enjoy the fandom and show even after it's done airing! And I will be sticking around to read and write for it. Because fandom doesn't stop for me just because the source material is finished.

[oakskull]

I wanna see your pony moshang 🥺🤲

ask and you shall receive!!

my drawings do come with worldbuilding rambling, terribly sorry (not sorry at all)

Side note: "windigos" are creatures in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (FiM) and I am using them here, but I am changing the name to frost spirits and changing some of their behavior, they look the same.

Design Notes:

SQH has ink stains on his mouth because non magic users write like that. He was a unicorn pre-transmigration and mourns his loss of unicorn magic and technology regularly. The world he transmigrated from is like the far future of FiM, with modern technology and the internet. (not the latest gen, I honestly remember jackshit about the lore in that movie...)

I've seen Earth pony SQH and I get the appeal. But here me out: Pony maigu ridge needs Qinghua to fly! And he's literally a flight risk!

His cutie mark is a brush and a paper airplane, because its his pen name (get it?). PIDW (mlp ver) has a level of technology more similar to SVSSS, but instead of flying swords there's trains. Im taking away xianxia flying swords and giving you trains. Ponies on swords just look too silly! they'd be unstable! (not that this whole AU isnt very silly >w<)

The Northern Kingdom in this au would be the Crystal Empire equivalent, except there is no crystal heart. The Northern desert is kept in a perpetual blizzard by the frost spirits (there is a barrier against storms around the capital created by the northern kings, redone as part of the ascension ritual but otherwise free standing) Instead of love and light protecting the kingdom, the crystal ponies use the power of incredible violence to keep the umbrums at bay.

Additionally, the crystal ponies of PIDW (mlp ver) are physically stronger, have higher base levels of magic, and are generally more cold resistant, due to living near the frost spirits for so long. They are still flesh creatures; the crystal skin is more of a replacement for their coat rather than the skin itself. Crystal ponies are also hypercarnivores, whilst regular ponies are omnivores (this isn't FiM also the horses are magic. they have basically human diets)

I also couldn't decide on a coat color for MBJ so there's two versions. I'm leaning towards the white fur for contrast reasons. And yes, I Did forget to render the crystal part of crystal pony on MBJ, thank you for noticing (lmao)

MBJ's cutiemark is the flag for the crystal empire, because he's part crystal pony, he still has a cutiemark, but all direct descendants have the same cutie mark after they absorb their ancestors power. Before this, they do not have cutiemarks, and gaining a different cutiemark means the frost spirits didn't acknowledge them as a potential decendant, and they can no longer become king.

Pre-Asension Mobei-Jun:

In PIDW (mlp ver) MBJ is a crystal pony decendant of the frost spirits which keep the Northern Desert perpetually cold. They gave the first northern king their power in the war against the umbrums (the things that made King Sombra in FiM). There's no friendship fire to chase away the frost spirits because this is PIDW (mlp ver) it's a stallion novel (pun intended); Instead, the frost spirits are sated by the constant war. There was an umbrum unicorn created to infiltrate the Crystal Empire like in FiM but they just became a regular pony instead of trying to take over and basically just created a new clan of ponies with shadow powers. MBJ's mother was part of this clan, and the abyssal shadow pony ancestry cobined with his frost spirit ancenstry gives him the ability to shadow step/ teleport through the shadows.

MBJ didn't get his pretty hair until he absorbed his ansestors power, which works similar to SVSSS canon. The previous northern kings die and pass on their power to the next generation because they are technically still frost spirits, and not really alive in the same way that regular ponies are.

SQH in an MLP style coat:

Ponies in FiM don't really... wear pants, even when it's cold. In Airplane's world they definately wore pants, and SQH will never go back (like the opposite of SVSSS LOL). In PIDW (mlp ver) ponies don't wear pants for bad porn reasons, Airplane justifies this by pulling the history card (peerless cucumber is not impressed)

Also! you can see SQH's mane better because its profile view, he's not a crystal pony, but he wheres the crystal pony hair bands as an homage to a bun without me actually having to give him one. Because ponies have ears on their head it always feels to me that a bun takes up too much visual space, thus, fancy hair bands.

Moshang flirting:

SQH can dish out flattery all day but he absolutely does Not know what to do when MBJ returns the favour (lol)

Alicorn Shang Qinghua:

In PIDW (mlp ver) I like to imagine that Airplane cut out alicorns because acending through nice things like friendship and love did not fit the vibe. Alicorns were instead like, the old gods who controled elemental stuff, like Celestia and Luna (renamed in PIDW (mlp ver)). Ponies don't control the weather or sun and moon and have less inate magic (earth pony magic, pegasus magic, and unicorn magic), instead, all the alicorns dispersed into spiritual energy that controls the elements and weather and stuff. Ponies cultivate this spiritual energy to gain a golden core of their inate energy, and eventually immortality, but they don't get the trappings of an alicorn.

So, like there aren't really any gods in SVSSS, there aren't any (living) alicorns in PIDW (mlp ver) they're more like myths than anything, and reside in the heavenly realm. I won't be getting into this AUs binghe/ heavenly demon equivalent because this is a moshang post, but Heavenly Demons are changling royalty, which have their FiM powerset on steroids and are sort of corrupted alicorns.

So alicorn SQH is bascially this AUs equivalent of God!SQH. It's not nessisarily canon to the AU but this mostly exists for me and I really like God!SQH so it basically is. Schrödinger's canon.

("Small Matters" style is a reference to the series by Coffeetailor on Ao3)

[jasperandhenryslovechild]

now that the shock of watching this trailer over and over and over again has worn down a tiny bit i need to ask, what the fuck is that hero costume and what does this mean for the preexisting canon dangerverse timeline

it is evident that these three costumes are NOT the same thing and it doesn't make me happy at ALL.

INDIVIDUAL BREAKDOWN/ELABORATION RAMBLE UNDER THE CUT

this one

is henry danger canon, like in the very last episode.

a muted version of the danger force canon one, with a fugly mustard hoodie with the strings tied so tight that it makes me question his breathing abilities and middle-schooler-who-just-discovered-what-mouse-is hair/j. he looks like he had to pull something together last minute unlike charlotte (curse me for cropping her out) who is literally THE COOLEST ONE HERE why is she not in the movie???? she is literally a fucking cyborg with purple hair someone explain this shit to me??? it's her superiority that allowed her to absolutely EAT THIS UP while henry looks like he just went dumpster diving

it's a vibe but it's also giving ramen noodles so im giving it a low 5/10 out of pity

danger force switches it up on us with this version

henry "we don't wear masks in dystopia, we're kinda above that" hart

this one is my favorite, it's cohesive and it goes together well. it's got the more grown hero vibe that ive always wanted to see in henry ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GROWTH AS A CHARACTER!! THE RETURN OF THE KID EPISODE IS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT HOW FUCKING DIFFERENT HE IS AND IM HERE FOR IT SO HARD!!! i will absolutely drop a df henry hyper analysis some day but for now this is what we've got

the shades of burgundy and washed out red throw it together well and i can totally see an explanation behind this costume vs the old one being a simple upscale/revamp. that jacket has pockets to hide weaponry, leather would probably be a lot easier to take a tumble in (+ the knee guards not shown in this picture and like the plastic covers on the sides of his legs that i don't know the name of, implies that he takes enough hard falls to need protection in these areas!), it helps camouflage well in dystopia because the 2 seconds of clips we've seen of that place show that it's pretty dark despite its bright neon flashing lights that give it an evil sanfransokyo at night sort of vibe. it's superhero-y, but it also doesn't have all those staple childhood iconic hero things either— if anything he looks kinda ashamed to be in a superhero show and that's okay/j

overall, 10/10 because it has nothing to do with the capitan man/kid danger brand, it shows henry evolving beyond that point in his life into his own entity after being so soley dependent on ray for his entire previous career in superhero-ing

now to address this fucking monstrosity we were given just a few hours ago

i want to preface this by saying i am not ungrateful. the things i am about to say come from a place of pure dissatisfaction yet constructive criticism. ive been waiting years and years for this movie and i will literally take an hour and thirty minutes of jasper and henry twirling in a circle and make 183829992 edits of it i don't care, i love henry danger sm and the movie looks pretty cool

this being said

dear costume team of henry danger the movie,

have you ever watched henry danger and or danger force? do you even know what you're designing for? be honest, did the producers hand you this stock image

and tell you to make it mean? because every time i look at this costume there is something else wrong with it and it PAINS MY EYES. it makes him look like a cartoony ass space crusader instead of a hero fighting crime one of the most dangerous if not THE MOST DANGEROUS city in the world.

let's break this down, shall we? head to toe motherfuckers.

only not complaining about the hair and it being slicked in the same direction it used to be because it's consistent throughout the entire trailer (unlike SOME danger force episodes... cough cough return of the kid....cough cough.......)

that mask. firstly, i have issues with there being a mask at all, because danger force establishes that there are no masks in dystopia. nobody moves a finger to try and put on a mask, henry even fights SUNGLASSES. those sunglasses ray forces on him to hide his identity are brawled against, he's clearly grown out of masks. putting him back in one puts him back in that kid danger box he's been working hard to build up and out of, a concept established throughout the entire finale of henry danger and further reassured in danger force.

and if you were gonna inarguably give him a mask for simple minded audience recognition, nickelodeon, the least you could do was make it a PRETTY MASK. red was an.. okay choice for the base, but making the silver SURROUND IT? BLACK OUTLINE???? you're trying so hard to be new and cool and it is just painful on the eyes instead. the black eyeshadow under it makes him look like one of those 2020 emo dsmp cc edits and it's just like a throwback to an era nobody wants to go back to. that face card makes him looks like he listens to believer by imagine dragons while chewing that magic bubblegum. his lips are PALE, SOMEBODY GET THIS MAN SOME IRON— OH WAIT, THEY WASTED THEIR SUPPLY ON THIS NIGHT REFLECTIVE SILVER MAKEUP THAT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A STOP SIGN WITH A FLASHLIGHT UP IT'S ASSHOLE

then we move onto the base of the costume itself. firstly, the navy blue undershirt cut out to expose his neck says nothing to me. it does not make the statement you guys thought it would— in fact, it makes the whole thing look a pit incomplete? unkempt? it looks like theres something missing and with that black eyeshadow i think it's a thick silver chain SORRY IM DONE I'M OVER THE MASK

the vest over it gives me even more issues. you can't pull up with an audio of ray manchester going "you're not a sidekick anymore, you're a hero!!" and have THEIR FUCKING LOGO ON HIS CHEST. IT'S NOT RIGHT. ON TOP OF THE FACT THAT THE ENTIRE VEST IN AND OF ITSELF LOOKS LIKE IT WAS ROLLED IN DIRT AND HAS THE COLORATION PROPERTIES OF A DYING SEAL, THE LOGO BEING THERE AT ALL IS A MASSIVE ISSUE.

the entire POINT OF THE FINALE was that henry wanted to move on from his life as kid danger. he sacrificed himself and faked his entire death to thousands of people in order to become his own person. he had no life outside of crime fighting because he has no skills or traits outside of crime fighting— he gave up his entire childhood for it so naturally it's all he can gravitate to as he moves forward in dystopia. being a crime fighter once more is a punch in the face enough that he will never really escape who he once was despite the fact that HE GOT AWAY.

HE GOT AWAY.

in NO WORLD WOULD THE HENRY HART I KNOW AND LOVE PROUDLY WEAR THE SYMBOL OF THE VERY MAN THAT FAILED HIM. ray manchester failed him throughout his entire childhood— failed at giving him a normal kid life, failed at providing context and details before or even during the time he accepted the job— and yet here the movie is. he is wearing a rip off of his old costume in an attempt to leave behind who he was. that is ironic, that is HORRIBLE. because by putting him in this FUGLY ASS DOLLAR STORE COSTUME, not only are you retconning the evolution he's been working towards, you are denying him the right to become something greater than just kid danger

in the old costumes, the designs were different because he as a person was different. his entire character arc throughout the hd finale to now was just that, becoming different.

this is not different— this is just an older version of the ghost he's been leaving behind time and time again. dragging him back to his roots. there are millions of ways to drag him back to his roots in the movie itself because those roots will never free him, that is the entire point of him post henry danger and there's so many ways to show that. but changing his costume, one of the only parts of his new hero identity that he himself gets to choose, to resemble his old costume so similarly is just blatantly saying fuck you to the current dangerverse timeline and who that has made him out to be.

my final question is, what does that mean for everything else?

cause like, if the hd/df costumes are no longer a thing in the movie, what happened to them?? why did henry choose this bullshit over the FIREEE costumes in his past?? why would he ever do that to himself bro

and also BLACKOUT?? DO WE NOT GET AN EXPLANATION ON THAT???? BECAUSE EVEN NICKELODEON THEM FUCKING SELVES MADE A THEORY VIDEO ABOUT BLACKOUT BEING JASPER AND THEN WE PULL UP WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER

LIKE GUYS I'M NOT GETTING IT ARE WE EVER GONNA GET AN EXPLANATION ON WHO BLACKOUT IS AND WHY HE WAS CAUGHT UP WITH HENRY— ALSO JASPER'S JUST TRANSFORMING RANDOMLY IN PUBLIC??? DOES THAT NOT NUKE THE ENTIRE PURPOSE OF HENRYS MASK?????

i do have very good things to say about this teaser, do not let your eyes deceive you, but i also have these complaints that i don't necessarily need answered if not I just need them to be heard

if you've made it this far thank you so much for coming to my insanely long ted talk

[thanosscross]

Hello hello!! Welcome to my little meet your writer section!! 🫶🫶 I’m so excited you’re here! Welcome!

I felt like with you all being my lovelies and being so kind and amazing, you might want to get to know the writer behind some of your favorite stories of mine! 🫶💕☺️ please keep in mind this is a judgement free page, where none of it will be tolerated, unless we’re judging the man who shall not be named 🙄 so welcome! Get to know me here 🫶🫶

Hi! I’m currently 19 turning 20 this February 5th! 🫶 which I’m very excited about,

I go by she/they, really anything you’d like to call me! I’m somewhat the middle child, I have an older brother and two younger brothers, so I’m the only daughter/niece/granddaughter on my dad’s side (my dad’s only child). I grew up with somewhat of a rocky childhood so I’ve always got a soft spot for kids, I’ve become the ‘Mary Poppins’ of my family rather quickly so I’ve always got a kid on my hip, whether its my cousin, youngest brother (5&6), or my fiancée’s niece (5).

I’ve been engaged for almost a year now, I met my fiancee working at a local grocery store, She came through my check-out line, before applying a few weeks later. I ended up being the person to train her for the job position, and ever since then we hit it off, We were both in pretty toxic relationships before, so whenever we got together it was a little weird, but we quickly found a healthy groove together, and it's just been happy times ever since <3 A lot of people say it's too soon, or we're too young, but we prefer it this way, it gets all of the big stressful stuff out of the way, that way we'll have more time to focus on each other and building our family in the future <3. I was always taught that whenever you find the person you know is not only a good relationship partner but also a good business partner, you've found the one, and nothing is too fast, and I know I found my perfect partner in life <33.

I like writing a lot, I’ve been writing since I was about, 9 or 10? So almost full decade now, holy shit, I started out on wattpad, moved to writing on paper, and then eventually moved to tumblr around the time I turned 14? I like to call myself a 'detailed writer', I think of it as a writer who is more focused with writing out physical feelings and emotions. I like my stories to not only be easy to read, but I also like my stories written in a way where you can really picture or imagine the feelings behind the words, I feel like those are the best stories to read, in my opinion <33

I have five animals in total (I know! A lot!) I have three dogs, and two guinea pigs, MooMoo, Charlie, Daisy, Winnie, and Honey Bunz, who are all pain in my asses, but I wouldn't know what to do without all of them <3. For the longest time I wanted to be a lawyer, then it changed to a police officer, all because my original dream of being a firefighter was kinda taken from me whenever I was diagnosed with something that prevents me from safely working in overheated conditions. Now I'm set on writer, or just in the public eye, I don't really mind how, preferably some type of dancer (Competition teams/back-dancer/etc) Or a screen writer, I just want a position in the public eye where I'm actually heard and not just drowned out over the sounds of everybody else (Told you lovelies, rough childhood) I want my words to mean something, I want to be a voice for the people who can't find theirs yet <3

Favorites? Music wise? It's a little all over the place but my top five? (not in order) BigBang, ATEEZ, ENHYPEN, Sir-Mix-Alot, and stray kids <3 Shows? Squid game definitely, or a spin off series of the walking dead that's recently come out, The Walking Dead: The ones who live, I also watch 911, and the Rookie (I really miss being a firefighter when I had the chance). Movies? Really anything horror, I'll always be excited about a new scary movie that comes out, I've been like that since I was itty bitty though >< Jobs? I'd have to say either being a firefighter at only 16-17, or being the Easter Bunny one time at my local mall, those two were the most fun!

My style? I have three different types of styles, I either dress in Baggy Clothes (cargo pants, baggy t-shirts, my black jacket) or tight clothes (undershirts, skinny jeans, a flannel or button up, kept open, to go over it) or a mixture of both 😂 I’ve been mainly sticking with my baggier clothes lately though 🤌💕

Hmmmm...Last get to know me section..What should I put? We'll get a lil personal. I've struggled with severe depression and anxiety since I was around 11 or 12, whenever I had something bad happen to me at 13, it just caused it to become worse, along with other diagnoses. This one is a little more recent, and I'm still a little iffy about sharing it, just because a lot of people give it a bad rep, but I was recently diagnosed Bi-Polar. It wasn't that much of a shock, almost every female in my family has it, and it made a lot of sense for some things I experienced, especially the manic part of it. I've slowly been learning just because I was raised around people who are Bi-Polar who weren't good people, doesn't mean I'm a bad person just because we share the same diagnosis. I go to the doctor, take meds, just like anybody else <3, Some of you lovelies might question why I got so personal on here about it, but for the few that have the same thoughts, know you're not alone, I'm in the same boat with you, so why not us hang out and chill while we're here <33

And without further a-do....

Hi! Lovely to see you here lovely <3 this is the face behind some of your favorite stories! 💕🥰 so glad we can finally meet!

[the-catboy-minyan]

just... something I've noticed. (cw: this is about i/p and leftist activism)

so many stories are like:

villain: "there's a problem in this world that needs to be fixed, an injustice in the systems that control our life, so I shall fix it with VIOLENCE AND MURDER AND MORE VIOLENCE!"

hero: "halt, you fiend! I, a Good American Citizen™, shall stop you. scease this treachery at once!"

*proceeds to beat them up and do nothing about the issue that caused this, Happy Ending uwu everything is solved*

the purpose of these stories were propaganda, obviously, to associate fighting for justice with violence and villainy, and heroism with restoring the status quo and never questioning it.

people called bullshit, but instead of going "the source of the issue wasn't the villain, it was the system they were in. you can't just get rid of them and go about your day, you have to remove the problem from its source as well", they went "the source of the issue isn't the villain, it was the system they were in. the villain was actually completely justified in their response because of the end goal! sure their actions are bad, but the system is worse!" while completely ignoring how in most of these stories, the villains were okay with actual mass murder.

and here we are, in a post Oct. 7th world, where people look a massacre of Jews, and say the exact same thing. justifying undescribable acts of violence by saying "well these noble savages Palestinians had endured 75 years of genocide (wrong) apartheid (wrong) and ethnic cleansing (also wrong)! their response is understandable! I don't condone their violence, but something had to be done." and you get people simping for actual extremist terrorist organisations, marching around while parroting calls for genocide, and repeating words to make them sound educated on a conflict they only know about from social media posts.

yes, the systems are unfair and cruel and social justice needs to be achieved. but you can't turn a blind eye or actively condone horrific acts that are done in the name of that cause. speaking against it won't make you the "movie protagonist™", you HAVE to speak up against it if you want to work towards a peaceful future.

[daylighted]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjust like the movies.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤor, 90s!jensen & starlet!reader.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤTEEN PEOPLE exclusive!

a never-before-seen inside look on america's favorite celebrity couple, starlet & jensen, only found here!

★ ˚⋆

it is, at this point, redundant to introduce the hollywood bombshell that is starlet, the new & upcoming actress taking over the scene. first met in days of our lives as a returning side character, starlet has since moved on to star in the likes of scream, terrifying the world with her breakout role of sidney prescott, and has since gone on to reprise that role, alongside her days of our lives character, many times.

on the other side of the dynamic duo, jensen ackles also got his notable start on days of our lives, working alongside starlet and, as he's stated before in multiple prior interviews, where he first met her.

"utterly captivating," he'd called her to an mtv interviewer, "there's no one else who can do the things that she does, and so effortlessly."

a romance should have been expected to follow after such high praises, though the way that it dominated the world was not so expected. their adorable acts of shameless pda & the blatant enamor that radiates from them when they are in a room together captured the hearts of millions.

today, we sit down with the both of them, and unpack just how they came to be.

★ ˚⋆

sat next to each other on two director's chairs is starlet and ackles, whispering to each other in soft voices, his palm atop hers on its back, the tip of his finger tracing shapes on her palm. he murmurs something, and her head falls back in a bright laugh.

jensen ackles (eric brady of days of our lives): oh! hey. didn't even hear you comin' in.

brittany johnson (interviewer for teen people): no, don't apologize! i'm just taking notes... capturing everything...

jensen: ah, gotta get all the details for the report, i see.

brittany, laughing softly: oh, yes. just doing my job. and how are you, starlet?

starlet (casey kennedy of days of our lives): spectacular, how are you?

brittany: can't complain at all when i get to spend my day with the both of you.

starlet, smiling warmly: oh, none of that. we're just people.

brittany: two of the most beloved of our decade, yes! did you anticipate such a positive response to your first public sighting together?

jensen: honestly wasn't even something that crossed my mind. i just wanted to take my girl to dinner.

starlet: it was so lovely, too. remember the hanging lights on the outside patio? and the candle in the center of our table?

jensen: is it a good time to tell you that i arranged that?

starlet: what? no!

jensen, laughing to himself: i did! called ahead and made sure we could have the patio to ourselves.

starlet: well, i guess we're both learning things today about my relationship, aren't we... oh, i'm sorry, i never asked your name.

brittany: brittany johnson. and that's alright, love, you were preoccupied! i'd never blame you for the honeymoon phase daze.

jensen: is that a real thing?

brittany: no, but i'm going to copyright it. it has a ring to it, doesn't it?

jensen: it does, yeah.

jensen's fingers lock into starlet's, raising her hand to his mouth to plant a chaste kiss on the skin.

starlet: sorry, this was probably a terrible idea, letting us do an interview together. we're not really good at anything but the... well, the honeymoon phase daze.

brittany: here, let me see if i can help keep the both of you on track, shall i? what were your initial thoughts when you first saw each other?

jensen: can i swear?

starlet: jens!

jensen, cackling: it's just a question!

brittany: i can censor it, don't worry. speak freely.

jensen: honestly, and i'm not exaggerating, she always thinks i'm lying about it, but my very first thought when she walked into the reading room was holy f**k.

starlet: no, it wasn't. he wasn't even looking at me, he was looking at his script—

jensen: s'called being sneaky, baby, i was lookin' over the edge.

starlet scoffs, her lips curling into a smile, betraying the feigned irritation.

brittany: starlet?

starlet: i was definitely intimidated. i don't remember my exact reactions, but we locked eyes at one point while reading our lines, and it felt—

jensen: just like a movie scene.

starlet: yeah. i honestly thought that when people said the world stops, it was just a cliche, but...

brittany: but it wasn't, not with you too.

starlet, warmly: exactly.

jensen: she wouldn't go out to dinner with me immediately. just so you're aware. this little lovelorn act she's portraying? wasn't immediate and was not as swoonworthy as you're lookin' at me like it is.

starlet: hey! i was being cautious—

jensen: hard to get. she was being hard to get.

brittany: you asked her out to dinner that very day?

jensen: that very day. i thought, "hell, if i don't swoop in, someone else will." so i swooped.

starlet: and missed the landing.

jensen, mock offendedly: because you were playing all coy!

starlet: since when is being cauti—

jensen: hard to get.

the two's words begin to overlap in an unintelligible argument, jumbled with laughter and tugging on their locked hands.

jensen: anyways. yeah, she rejected me at first. big ol' fat blow to the ego.

brittany: what eventually made her say yes? or, really, i should be asking you that, starlet.

jensen: yeah, baby, go on. i'm curious too.

starlet: it... well, it sounds really superficial. but we had this scene together, and our characters practically mirror the story of us, in a way, because— i don't know, something clicked. the director called cut after eric was about to kiss casey goodnight, and he leaned in, and...

...

...

starlet: it's really cliche, i know that's how it must sound, but it really felt like magic, standing in front of him, looking into his eyes and feeling the emotions he poured into himself while he was acting, and knowing that they were at least somewhat true, considering he'd asked me out a week or so prior. i thought, "god, why did i say no? what kind of idiot was i?"

jensen: very cute that your moment of clarity came from me kissing you. that's all i wanted to say— don't look at me like that. carry on.

starlet: that's it, you loser. unless you want me to continue stroking your ego.

jensen: there's a few other things you—

brittany clears her throat, her palms patting against the notepad rested on her thighs.

brittany, flushed: alright, well... i think that wraps it up for us! it was incredible to get to hang out with the both of you. do you... have any final comments? anything you want to tell the people?

jensen: yeah. go watch my pretty baby in scream 2. and thank you, brittany, for putting up with her, i know she gets a little ditzy and talkative—

starlet swats jensen's bicep, laughing along with him.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤEND TRANSCRIPT.

notes, nobody look too close at the transparent ok its shoddy at BEST but i was having a meltdown over 90s jensen earlier n couldnt relax until i did this ok feedback appreciated sm unless its mean HAHAHA bc i honestly dont know . . . if i like this HJTKLGDFSH style heavy inspired by daisy jones & the six my beloved

tags, @jasvtsc @figthoughts @deanswidow @depressionbarbie2023