#but its not gonna be devestating
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gonna make a gojo fic based on this song
#𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆.#TEEEEHEEEEEE#but its not gonna be devestating#more comfort#but the sonfg ….. on repeat rn
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veraverse posting in 2024? its..... more likely than you think. (look my art is finally good enough i get to draw all the fanart my middle school self would have eaten the fuck up let me live lmfao)
anyway i reread this thing recently when i stepped back into this fandom again and (after cringing my way thru the first two chapters bc. we... all know why 🫠) i realized that no one has ever drawn the, arguably, funniest fucking scene in all 6 published chapters of this fic. so i did in the messiest, most rushed way possible bc i had to get it out of my system. the end.
#hetalia au#veraverse#spamano#catch me picking this fic up from chapter 3 and pretending it starts there if i ever decide to reread it again LMAO ;;#ill be fr i almost cringed out of it bc it made me uncomfortable enough but. i knew it got better so. lol#and the devestating blow that was knowing its not finished hit me midway thru 6 and now im here. lmao#my art#im not even gonna.... tag it as heavily as a normal post bc im not as big on the quality of this 🤷♂️
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It's always a matter of pride when I send someone something and their response is "What the fuck"
@fluffypotatey It's an honor, ty
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YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS' CRAFT SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN RECORDED FOR THIS LOCATION
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she hopes immmm currrseeddddd forever to sleep on a twinnnn sized mattress in somebodys attic or basement my wholleeeeee lifeeeee
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having a hyper realistic dream about reconnecting with an old friend i can't talk to anymore cause it would be weird to contact them is actually more traumatising than any nightmare my brain could conjure omfg
#its like those dreams where you have a baby then wake up and its devestating#i am devestated#i actually knew it was a dream when i was in it cause ive dreamt about it before#and i was there and i was like this is too good its exactly what i want im dreaming#but then i was like but im not gonna think about it too hard because then ill wake myself up and i dont want to#so i let myself be a little delulu and now im SO SAD#she wont wanna talk to me though its been too long and weve changed as people#and if i sent a message or anything it would just be like ?? why are you talking to me??#but in the dream it was so perfect we talked about loads of things#and we even were walking the route home from school we used to go every day together#i forget that through school we spent literally every day together and now we just dont speak#brb im gonna cry
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im so glad we got the story we did with the kids in S.O.C.C.E.R because it makes it so much spicier and better BUT THE WAY THE DM NOTE THEY JUST RELEASED RUINED ME IM GOING TO THR*W UP
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#i dont think anyone in my life realizes how devestating it is to try so hard to avoid going to a normal college#because i know that shit will kill me#and then have it all fall apart and i have tk#i have to go anyway#like my biggest fucking fear#like if i make it out alive its gonna be with my mental health ducked taped together standing on popsicle sticks and spite#vent
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ik this isnt my warrior cats blog but still
im thinking of the people who shipped breezepelt and jayfeather/lionblaze before the secret was revealed. i think about them a lot. imagine your otp with books of build up are revealed to be half-brothers after years of reading the series because of the time between each book's release. the secret was revealed in the 5th book. that means for four books, nearly four years, people would have been shipping those pairings before it was revealed. the devestation.
#power of three spoilers#po3 spoilers#jayfeather#breezepelt#lionblaze#for my followers who dont read warriors#its like revealing nerris and harrison are somehow half siblings#once again: THE DEVESTATION#how did they cope#not camp camp related#mollie talks about things her blog is decidedly not about#thats gonna be a new tag for me
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hit pokemon trainer PeePeeGirl and her dog that she loves very much and that surely nothing bad happens to
#nuzlockes are scary lol#mabosstiff#...how. how do i tag peepeegirl#...im gonna just do that lol#peepeegirl#the worst fucking tag#especially out of context lmao-#anyways i must work tmmrw so to bed i go!#but also for context: i did a wonderlocke recently and my trainer was named PeePeeGirl bc that's my like. default secondary game name lol#and my starter pretty much ended up being mabosstiff#...and then nothing bad happened and the funny mafia dog lived i promise (i am still devestated)#its ok when the run ends all you pokemon instantly come back to life right guys. right. ri#shook doodles
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all I've had today is a redbull and an ice coffee and. am suffering a little. the redbull was supposed to help me focus and let me do tasks which included eating but I forgot
#its 7.30 i am shaking#im gonna eat now but i am in such a weird headspace im like quietly devestated over some things while also being distant but also being#autistic about characters and shows#blegh#cw disordered eating
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‘ CALL ME BY YOUR NAME ?! ★
geto, toji, choso, gojo, sukuna. moaning the wrong name during sēx.
cw. fem! reader, unprotected, crack, brat taming, substance usage (weed), true form sukuna, spit, size kink + size diffs, impact play, cōckwarming, cērvix mentions, edging, overstim, dumbificafion. req.
wc. 3.6k
SATORU GOJO ☆
with your body steadily rocking back and forth, rolling and jerking at a more hastily pace—satoru can’t help but strum his thumbs against your curves. your figure, he couldn’t help but feel against it, feel the specific curves, the outline of your gorgeous physique. all his. “fuck, thaaaat’s it baby, that’s my girl,” he praises you in a cooing berceuse, stuffing your cunt with thickset inches of his cock. the constant elastic-like stretch makes you whimper, burying the outer cusps of your fingertips into his bare flesh. his broad wide shoulders lower and alleviate as you’re maintaining such weight on him.
already, you were so close to reaching your inescapable peak. the abiding repetitive creaks of the mattress was loud, creating its own personal mixtape as you whine mercy. with glossy eyes, you peer up at satoru who’s panting himself, a slippery sheet of perspiring sweat coating the top part of his forehead. groaning, he spanks your ass continuously the moment he starts to feel you slow down. “nah, c’mon. don’t get weak on me now, angel. move those f— fuckin’ hips, yeah.”
his words, they ran straight towards your cunt. as he’s delving his fat cock into your stretchy walls time and time again, satoru feels your little butterfly of a pulse. “mhhh,” you squeak out, shaky arms throwing over his slouched shoulders. “s-suguru, ‘m close, fuck.” and the look on his face says it all, what the fuck.
“what,” his eye twitches, and as he’s still tucked inside - buried balls deep into your pussy, there’s a forming pout. satoru doesn’t even look pissed, he just seems .. offended. you huff out a devestated breath at how he just stops and his voice cracks. “did you just call me suguru?”
“i mean shoko—” and then you gasp. “eh, satoru.”
big hands of his hold onto your waist, locking you in a firm grip. satoru’s got the most twisted expression. snowy white brows contort into a repelled furrow as he’s still pumping you full without actually moving.
“no way did you just say shoko,” and he grunts, feeling himself throb at the thought of you and shoko. satoru stares at you and its more of a gawk really. he grips your chin, a soft thumb toying against your quavering bottom lip. so kissable, even while being a brat — he thinks. “did you say that on purpose, baby?”
“n- no,” you lie through your teeth, desperate for him to start up his pace again. you craved it, already missing his fat thick inches breaking past your fragile, soddened walls. this was practically torture, just sitting and waiting for him to start again. whenever you were edged, it was hell. he hums at your impatient expression nonetheless. satoru could read you like a book though - he gives you an eyebrow raise and you gulp, feeling that same twitch arise between your thighs. at this point, he felt it too. “you and s-suguru’s name’s sound the same.”
with a deadpan, he grabs a nice amount of your ass before smacking it. whack, the sting gives you whiplash and you bite down on your lip. “nuh uh,” he murmurs with a concise head shake.
icy blue eyes peer into yours and you let off another gasp once he grabs ahold of your hips again—bouncing you back onto his dick. “don’t like when my babies lie to me. ‘s exactly why ‘m gonna have ‘ta break this pussy for tonight,” and you heard the sudden gruff in his tone. you’re babbling as you’re being fucked dumb on his dick again - up and down, treated like nothing more than a priceless rag doll. you moan so sweet that it’s almost pornographic—the entire scene was obscene, your noises only fueled him to ruin you further. ruin your cunt, anyway. shamefully, you hide your face into his neck, getting a redolent waft of his signature cologne.
teasingly,
satoru leans right into your ear, grabbing your neck gingerly whilst another unoccupied hand slithers down your body, spanking your cunt. it’s so wet, he feels a splash of your slick coat his palm and he chuckles. whispering to you, he grunts out a gruff.
“aw, goin’ somewhere?” he jeers, noticing as you’re trying to move again but secures your hips with two hands. satoru’s got the most shit-eating grin and you just wanted to wipe it straight off. “but heh, while i show this nasty cunt some manners, you won’t cry for me, right?”
SUGURU GETO ☆
the seraphic warmth and pleasure of your body continues to rub off against his skin - so warm, it’s tepid and almost sweltering hot. the strong stench of pure passionate sex with a mixture of his own scent drives you insane.
you’re dragging your pussy back and forth against him, riding him in reverse with your mouth stupidly dangling open. “s- suguuu,” you whimper, pointed tips of your nails gripping onto his thighs. the only other thing that stuck against him besides you, was his grey sweats—grey sweats that were lazily pulled down. your rhythm makes him kiss his teeth, cocking his head back as he takes another puff of his blunt. you wanted to ride him while he took a smoke and he could never refuse to his sweet babygirl. “right there, fuck ‘s big, sugu.”
“perfect size jus’ for you too,” he purrs against your left earlobe, playfully flicking his tongue against your skin. as always, you tasted so sweet for him — he groans at your flavor, a bit of salt that lingers on near your neck falling right onto his tastebuds. once he licks your neck in such a raunchy way, you moan loudly. it’s almost muffled though, a gargling sound forming near the very back of your throat. just seconds ago, your ear twitches from his hot breath fanning into your sensitive canal. your cunt’s having a melodramatic spasm of its own, releasing sweet cries of squelches that never fail to echo throughout the thin apartment walls. “mhm,” and you lean back into his chest, feeling a tickling sensation of brief curled chest hair ghost against your back. “lean into me like that, focus on that arch, good girl.”
the natural rough deepness in his tone always has you pulsing for more - it’s lewd, carnal and downright filthy. as geto inhales, emptying his lungs for a second, he exhales—blowing the clouded air directly away from you. dark hazed irises that were fully blown flicker down toward your ass. the way it moves,
it’s just nasty,
jerk after fucking jerk.
the recoil that slams back into him makes his jaw clench. your cunt’s already a bit overflowed with his cum from before. it’s slippery, dribbling all down the sides of your plush thighs before you whine out a pleading sob. “s- satoru, more. h- harder,” and you hear his lips smack immediately. suguru geto—always a sassy man, you’d bet money he even rolled his eyes too. after your little 'accident' blabber, you suddenly grow mute, realizing the syllables you spat out wasn’t even his.
“who?” he utters, yanking both hips of yours into an abrupt pause. you whine, trying to grind back against him but he only spanks you. “princess, i know you didn’t just say what i think you said.”
it was a type of low purr to his tone and it turns you on regardless. you feel your pulse slowly pick up - both pulses.
specifically between your thighs and your heart.
his loud scent had you aching for more and it only made things ten times worse once you feel his hands grab against your neglected tits. “s- suguru,” you correct yourself, mewling out a pathetic whine. “you know what i meant.”
“do i?” he hums, gently squeezing two fingers against your sensitive nipples. you slump back, still having his cock shoved right into your gummy walls before you start to salivate. right up against your ear, all close and personal, he starts to suck near your tender collarbone. “mhm, y’know exactly what you’re doing, sweets. but since ya wanna call me satoru, maybe you don’t need this dick after all.”
“wha—” and before you could even get a word out, he slides you off of his cock, repositioning his half on shirt. you pout, so close to finishing—so so close. the slimy trail of heat that pours between your legs only grow as you pant, meeting the gaze of the dark-haired male. “but y- you didn’t let me finish.”
with a mocking gesture of bending his head down to your level, he strokes your chin. “yeah, exactly baby,” and his stare at you arouses you way more than you thought. dark, sable tinted pupils return your expression before a smug grin spreads across his pink slicked lips. “but ‘m sure you’ll find a way to finish,” and he ogles at your exposed cunt one more time, an unamused tch leaving his lips. “maybe ask satoru to finish your sloppy pussy off.”
“fine—”
“girl i was joking???”
TOJI FUSHIGURO ☆
some nerve you had—you thought it would’ve been funny, and oh, did you think wrong.
toji’s relentlessly pounding into you from behind. slow, languid strokes massaging into your grippy walls. you’re a mess, tongue lolled out and a few strands of hair sticking to your forehead as he’s just churning up your sweet sweet insides.
every few seconds, a bit hand smacks against the right cheek of your ass, then the left, then the right. it’s constantly repetitive, the sting making you drool all onto the pillow. it’s a nice trail, a translucent color that’s just drizzling out of the corners of your lips.
you’re stupid, head bobbling against the cushioned fluff as if you were just a doll. you were never in a million years a match for toji—let alone his brutal, sharp hips.
“fuckkk,” he hisses out a raspy growl, watching intently as few remnants of his cum from the last round decorate the outer parts of your pussy. viridescent, jade pupils dart toward your thighs, taking in your jolting body. so weak, he can’t help but gawk at the way his hot cum oozes out of each hole. it’s so sloppy, he couldn’t help but swipe his thumb against your puckering entrance, getting a taste. “mhm,” he utters, lapping the fat print of his thumb over his tongue. toji never had a problem with it. relishing the bitter tang of his own, it was on you after all so it was even sweeter. the jiggle of your ass from each stinging swat he gives you makes his dick twitch. “sluttin’ y’erself out on me, good. keep the fuckin’ arch, yeah.”
there was a raspy pitch in his voice, gruff. you whimper, feeling him clamp both of your wrists toward your back - a slope of drool trickling past the corners of your lips before you let out a defeated snivel. “s-shiu, hngh. ‘m so close, shiu.”
and right then—he stops his hips, you’re clenching around nothing but his cock, his cock that was now idle. your panting slows down and the debleating rapture goes away once you moan out his colleague’s name. “w- what happened?”
“w-what happened?” he mocks your tone, even quivering out his lip to capture your little whine. your ass gets met with another serrated smack and the brief clash of his hips makes you hiss.
“shiu, huh?” and he sounds .. amused. you weren’t even looking at the man but you could tell he probably had the most smug expression imaginable. your ass was still propped and raised in the air — ass up, face down. your left temple buries itself into the velvety sheets before you start to clench around his non moving length. “dunno whether ‘ta be offended or turned on, baby.”
you swallow, feeling a broad hand grip against your ass. toji gawks at the sight of you all all arched, feeling your pussy thump in sync with your irregular breaths. he snickers at your current position, a thumb poking inside of your slick cunt before maneuvering it around. doing so, it makes the delivery of your words shudder. “i s- said toji.”
“shut the fuck up.” he grits.
you hold back an incoming giggle and you could visibly feel the glare displayed on his tense expression.
toji grabs another piece of your ass before lightly shoving you further into the mattress. “ehh. but fine, since you wanna say shiu, ‘m curious. who’s bigger? me or that bum?”
“do you .. want me to be honest?” you sheepishly murmur.
he didn’t expect you to say that.
“……..”
SUKUNA RYŌMEN ☆
all four arms roam over your body - exploring every inch, taking pride in your curves that presented itself in such a nude, salacious way.
you gasp at his strength, the demon lifting you up with ease, fucking you stupid whilst you’re in the air. you’re a mess, a nice stringy strand of your own spit starts to race out of your mouth and into the cracks of your chest. “ah,” he raises a single slit brow, holding you up and fucking you with deep, thorough thrusts. inside of his domain, the temperature was cold—the more your body lurches midair, the more you’re hit with a breeze of frigid cool wind. “such a dumb little face y’r makin’,” he points out, a big hand cupping your chin.
within no time, you’re slobbering all down his hand, feeling him puncture such deep areas into your cunt. sukuna bares a fang in a cocky manner, another hand gripping your chin so that you could look straight at him. “someone’s dumb again, today huh,” he grits, the hits of his dick sending you on a frenzied spiral. you’re babbling incoherent words, two weak arms thrown over his shoulders as you’re just bouncing and bouncing. he’s so thick too, his angry mushroom tip repeated its gesture of coating your cervix with a plethora of chaste kisses. “oh, don’t give me that pout. wanna cum, huh? ‘s that why you look so stupid?”
“t— tojiiii.” you whine, trying to grind your hips further to your incoming release. ripples of waves ignite its way into your body in short welts of pleasure. languidly, they form into tiny little surges of shockwaves before you short circuit. it’s early, you’re panting and you don’t even realize that you’re gushing all down his cock.
an entire mess—you’re an entire mess and you don’t even realize the repulsed expression sukuna’s giving you. “pardon, little girl.”
“i.. i said sukuna.” you moan, making an attempt to kiss his neck but he growls lowly, restraining one of your hands. his reflexes were quick, preventing you from moving a single inch further. you’re still behind held up with his other arms, fat hefty cock buried deep into your drooling, loose walls before he peels your bottom lip down. “don’t stop, ‘kun—”
“no, you said toji,” and he stares you dead in the eyes. you’re met with cruel mighty ones, and still you throbbed regardless. with your weak legs snaked around his waist - sukuna hmphs at you, watching your body try to move itself. you can’t help but be needy, he’s still inside of you but he just wouldn’t move. your teeth was shattering, nails piercing into his skin before he wraps a single hand around your throat. ���how do you even mix up our names?” and he lightly knocks against your head, making you lie flat against the mattress. “must be nothin’ in that brain, huh. my girl’s such an airhead today.”
“ryo,” you moan, feeling a bit exposed now that you were laid flat on your back. the satiny sheets run against your skin as you sprawl your legs open voluntarily. he watches, a tongue scraping over his upper lip before aligning himself again. ryo, you were aware that that wasn’t even his name but you always liked to tease him about it. your cunt’s throbbing ridiculously still from its most recent crazed release. with your thighs shaking ruthlessly, you spread your swollen cunt lips open with two fingers. “s- sorry, ‘m sorry. didn’t mean it.”
he chuckles, knowing full well you were basically pleading for him to keep going. you were desperate, physically and metaphorically frothing at the mouth for his heavy shaft. your eyes meet his cock that was just right there, a pretty droplet of pre-cum dribbling down the very side where a prodding vein remains. with a sly expression, he pries you open with a single finger. immediately, your mouth goes ajar and agape from the stretch.
“mhm, the audacity to compare me to that loser,” he snarls, and watches with crimson, red-shot eyes as your legs sprawl open. with just a single digit, he makes your sopping cunt lips spread apart and he leans his neck down to spit right on it. you whine, staring openly as he grabs ahold of one of his dicks that was stacked behind the first one. “brat ‘till the end ‘n y’r still this fuckin’ soaked. now open up for me.”
you gulp, leaning back against the mattress while feeling the sharp gaze of an unruly demon. he’s got a relaxed expression, but he rubs the tip of both dicks against your wet pussy. “wha—”
“lets use that brain today,” he grunts, and your back spontaneously arches forward the moment you feel both dampened tips glide its way down your inviting slit. “spread ‘em. since you wanna call me ‘toji’ i’ll have to remind this cunt how’s it feel to be stuffed by two fuckin’ cocks, whore.”
CHOSO KAMO ☆
with choso, he’d be having you in classic missionary, interlocking his tangled fingers with yours the entire time. your touch to him was a treasure he never wanted to lose. its warmth, he feels a sudden flutter school its way into his heart and he lets off a relaxed sigh. fevered skin presses against your body directly underneath him and he can’t help but gaze into your eyes. so so pretty, that natural doe-eyes look, pupils all irised and shimmering in the sunlight — you’re simply ethereal. his heart’s racing and racing, each beat gets quicker by the second. with a single tugging gnaw at his bottom lip he tugs the skin at his teeth. your grip has him lost in a gaze, and he can’t help but moan your name again and again.
he moans it continuously in such a sweet, swooning tune until he’s a broken record. he’s so in love. choso continues to moan it until each syllable of your name gets stuck on his tongue like gum. after a few moments, he’s now whining your name, continuing to tenderly grind his hips into you at such a passionate pace. babbles of broken whimpers make its way out of his lips as he’s sputtering nonsense, locking each finger with yours. his grip was tight because he never wanted to let you go.
he couldn’t.
choso was always gentle with you, he treated you like you were glass, glass preparing to crack and break. but he never wanted to break you.
warm, feverish breaths pant and collide against each other’s mouths as he’s taking turns from sucking on your collarbone or your neck. “ngh, my baby’s s- so pretty,” he huffs, gently swaying his hips roughly yet tenderly into you. choso had the rhythm and he had the pace— it was never a dull moment with him. you were about to cream down his cock again, nirvana surging through your veins as your legs wrap around his waist. his body height hovers over you and it’s so hypnotic.
choso’s hair - it’s usually in two ponytails but now, it’s all loose and unkempt. a few ravened strands even prod its way against your forehead.
it’s prickling your skin, tickling against you within each thrust. each sloppy stroke bucking into your sweet sweet core.
“no, p- please, look at me, please,” he mumbles in a soft tone, dark arched brows curling up into a needful furrow. a thumb strums against the outline of your jaw before he gives it a benign kiss. delicately, your chin gets pulled up gently with a big hand and he pouts until your eyes finally meets his.
finally,
your cunt greedily clings onto him tight, speaking of tight - that’s all you felt. for a while anyway,
your legs securely sling around his slim waist as if it was a snake. his thrusts were always so merciless and grim, no matter how tender he was with you, how gentle. choso was always gentle, yet he’s had the stamina of a horse. he always wanted to make sure you were feeling good at all costs. the moment his eyes meet yours, he feels a pang of love welt its way into his heart. “jus lookin’ at you ‘s gonna make me cum,” he whimpers, his body jittering just from the thought.
body against body, skin against skin,
choso leans in to kiss you, practically humping against your pussy. he’s so feral for you. he’s so feral and oh, he just can’t help it.
it was cute,
the half curse was trying his best to make you feel good because his pleasure was your pleasure at the end of the day.
his tongue ploddingly glides against yours before he starts to suck it, gasping once he feels your clit convulse against his thwacking tip. choso was forevermore weak from your tender kisses. “mhh,” you speak between sultry wet kisses, and his body remains to grind against yours. hovering over you completely, a thumb of his roams down the palm of your sweaty hand. pulling away, you moan out a shrilling whimper, “s- sukuna—”
yet, by coincidence you’re not the only person to blurt out the wrong name, because choso ends up finishing inside, a thick stringy load of cum pours its way into the inner depths of your searing warm cunt. tossing his head back in lewd rapture, choso grabs onto your thigh, only for his head to collapse into your chest. with a whiney mumble, he whines out a sweet. “y- yuki, mommy.”
“what?”
“what?”
#★vegasbaby.#gojo x reader#geto x reader#choso x reader#toji x reader#sukuna x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#geto suguru smut#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#choso smut#gojo smut#geto smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji smut#sukuna smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk#anime smut#female reader#jjk headcanons#cw sex mention
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XGJKFGJDCHK THIS IS SO FUNNY I LOVE THIS AHHHHHH!!!!
Basketball Saga: Residuum aftermath
Before we move onto the next sport saga, the aftermath of the basketball saga for @rottmnt-residuum for @tmntaucompetition
I am not the creator of Residuum, merely a fan!
Residuum Donnie's brothers are just having the worst time trying to find their brother :(
Also @phoenixdeleted @raisondetre2012 and @blue-star-doodles I piggy backed off of your ideas! I hope that's ok!
I only spent like 2 hours on this and I have not been feeling well, also no references besides googling the family guy death pose. But it was a nice distraction after a crappy day
Please vote for Residuum in the next round!
#love the little detail that he did it again lmao#the poor goofy silly (Don ofc fuck Bishop and government bastard they both deserve a basketball to the head)#ITS BOTH FUNNY AND DEVESTATING TO ME THAT THEY DONT BELIEVE HE'S THEIR DONNIE AW :(((#plesse vote for residuum in the next round please please please-#THIS IS SO GOOD DUDE AHHHHHH 🫶🫶🫶💖💖💖#im gonna eat ur art/verypos#i wanna know who's shooting a hoop in the background really bad now lmao
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Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife : Smooches
Joel Miller x F!Reader
Notes: written in honor of the fabulous and fantastic @romanarose birthday today!!! 🎂 I would not be writing Pedro fics if it were not for their fantastic stories that got me hooked so everyone PLEASE wish our lord and Savior the bestest birthdays of all!
- - - -
Joel knew pregnancy brain was out of wack when you started slamming the table with a fork and knife at 5pm like a senior citizen demanding dinner.
"I aint got anything you aren't gonna throw up later. We're going out," he states with hands planted on his hips.
"Ooh yay!" You wiggle out of your chair and grab your purse. "Jone's steakhouse?"
"If that's what you want."
"But you have to ALSO want it. Or it feels like you don't want it and makes me feel like I'm dragging--"
"JUST. get in the car, sweetie," he grits with a fake smile, opening the door.
-
Dinner was good. Steak was solid. You complained it wasn't salty enough even after you dumped the entire shaker onto each slice. But now that both your bellies are full and satisfied, with you rubbing your exceptionally swollen one happily, the drive home was finally peaceful.
Until you kept smacking your lips. The quiet air was filled with schmockschmockschmock sounds from your beautiful but ever so annoying mouth.
Joel clears his throat but keeps his eyes forward and mouth shut. Just gotta get you into bed and it's a sold evening.
He hears you digging in your purse, scavaging deeply for--
"Oh no. Nononononono!" You shriek, hands splitting the seam of the bag open to dump out all its contents on your lap.
"What, what's wrong?"
After clearly seeing all pockets were empty, you shout, "Oh my god noooo! Oh god please don't be happening."
"What you forget your phone? Wallet?" He asks worriedly.
Instead of just outright answering him (because thats just ridiculous) you start panting heavily and tearing up. "I cant live. I need it Joel."
"Need--need what baby? Just tell me, I'll make it right."
But you're too hysterical and hyperventilating at his brain dead question to give him the answer.
Roll with the punches, Miller. Stay calm. Resolve.
"Okay it's OK probably just sitting on the ground at the restaurant. I'm turning around, okay baby? Please calm down, we're gonna get it back."
Joel explains to the host that you just saw 15 minutes ago that his wife (he gestures to his obviously pregnant and agitated , volcanic explosion of a meltdown wife who's having a panic attack) forgot something and would like to check the table again to find it.
The host rushes the two of you back to the table to avoid mount doom from exploding.
But after thoroughly searching for something that only YOU know what is missing, absolutely nothing comes up around the table that doesn't belong to said restaurant and table.
"What did you lose?" He finally asks hesitantly. It MIGHT help to know. "Phone? Wallet?"
You take a deep breath, eyes swollen and red, cheeks blown warm and shiny with tears as the world crashes around you at the devestating realization that its GONE gone:
"My LIP MOISTURIZER!"
You slug your shoulders and tilt your head back to wail in the middle of this albeit emptying restaurant while Joel and everyone pauses to quietly stares at you.
Joel's expression with an edge of disbelief and exhaustion.
He takes you by the hand as you still cry, thanks the host with a wave and gets your fat ass in the truck.
"We got more at home... right?"
"Joel!!" You snap. "If I HAD another one, I'D BE USING IT! I wasn't finished with the last one! Everything will be wrong if I open a new one when I still has the other one every day for 6 months!"
"You've had this one chapstick since I got you pregnant?"
"LIP. MOISTURIZER." You throw yourself back into the comfy seat. "You only like kissing me when it's moist and pleasant and NOW you won't like me--"
"Babe I never even knew you had stuff on--"
"WELL NOW YOU WILL because it won't be on and everything is RUINED! I have to over compensate for your dry peely nasty crunchy flaky dead lips, but now you won't love me and our baby because I won't have silky smooth moist plushy baby girl lips and then my husband won't have juicy sucker's to suck on when we make out and get his fat cock sucked by my once pillowy beautiful lush lippy lips...!" and then you start sobbing again.
He shakes his head. "Listen, how about I get you some more first thing tomorrow morning--"
"Tonight!"
"Right, tonight. That's what I said." He gulps hard. "And uh, you'll be... coming with me?"
You slowly turn your head and narrow your eyes. He does now see the clock is 8pm, sharply past your self imposed bed time.
"I meant you'll be coming with me... as I drop you off at the house. Then I'll go back out."
You nod as if saying 'that's more like it,' before folding your arms over your chest.
He squeezes his eyes shut and internally rolls them as hard as possible.
-
The closest 24/7 general store was 10 minutes thankfully. He grabbed a handful of different flavor chapsticks and dumps them on your lap--
"Joel what the FUCK are these."
"Chap--!"
"I WANTED LIP. MOISTURIZER! NIVEA! EOS! VASELINE! NOT THIS CHEAP SHIT."
He growls--not this shit again. He has flashbacks of the taco yackies incident roll through his mind. "YOU ASKED FOR CHAPSTICK! I GOT EXACTLY THAT!"
"Chapstick is a BRAND name. This stuff makes my lips burn and feels even drier. Joel do you SEE my lips!" You point both fingers directly at your mouth and purse out. "DRY. AS. FUCK. these are NOT dick sucking lips. They will start fucking peeling soon. and then I don't know if I will be able to kiss my own baby's noggin when she's first born less she be DISGUSTED--"
Hes back in the car before you were even done yelling.
Back at the store. Staring at the wall of different lip care options. This is 10x worse than the tampon and pad aisle. THAT one he's a pro in. Pussy King expert for all its needs. Even shows other women that come back exactly where and what they're looking for. But this shit??
There's so many flavors. Why does the flavor matter? Cherry red, cherry blossom, cherry berry--what the fuck is the difference? One says lip moisturizer, the same one next to it says lip care, then lip cream, lip balm, lip lush, lip lotion... fuck.
He does the sensible thing: pulls one of every single item into his arms, struggling but managing to hold haphazardly close to his chest (the man doesn't get a basket for shit because he only comes on for the exact ONE thing he knows he's getting). When he hobbles to the tired cashier, he leans forwards and dumps it all the counter with a sad smile. A smile of which drops quickly when the total comes to exceed $85.
-
9:14pm. Could be worse. You're eating a bag of extra salted chips--which he suspects is only going to make the lip situation worse but whatever. One by one, he basketball chucks them into your lap. You inspect each one, scoffing at all the useless flavor ones that just don't work, until finally holding up the vanilla honey extra moistening stick. You rip it from the package, pop the lid off and slather that shit on with a orgasmic groan, rolling your eyes back as it glides over and over your lips repeatedly. You smack them to spread evenly, all shiny and pretty before nodding approval.
Joel sighs and tosses himself on the couch, head first into your lap. You rub his hair and continue watching the TV, gnawing at the chips carefully so as not to ruin your fresh lips, as he falls asleep and snores deeply.
It lasts for a minute before both you and he feel something small against his temple stir in your belly.
He sits up like rocket, and the two of you stare at one another in shock. You both slowly look down at the belly, hands crept over its rounded expanse, and wait.
Then--an almost inperceivable yet delicate tiny kick. The first one.
Neither of you have words as excitement floods your faces.
"See. Even the BABY needs the best kissy lips."
He grabs your face with both hands and smashes his lips onto yours like he's gonna suck your soul away.
When he finally pulls off with a big grin (and you thrown back against the couch with a delirious expression getting oxygen back to your brain while your pussy drips fresh juices onto the couch), he smacks his lips tastily and enjoying the soft, silky, honey sweetness of your lips.
"Oh fuck, that is good."
You grip his shirt and force him back down to make out with you again, falling sideways on the couch as you both hungrily grope each others' bodies.
-
The next day you find your brand new lip moisturizer missing. It's set in the bathroom vanity, somewhere you did NOT left it. When popping it open, it has suspicious short little whisker hairs stuck to it. You frown but plant it back where you find it, run behind the door, and wait. About 2 minutes later, Joel comes in, searches behind him around the room before sneaking the little stick off the counter and hustling to the bed. He lies on his back, pops it open, and greedily smears it all over, humming contently and whispering "mmm yeaaaahhhh" before smacking his lips and pursing them out.
You fall over giggling in the bathroom at his new found guilty pleasure.
- - - -
Taglist
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#joel miller fan fiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller fanfiction#last of us fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fluff#the last of us fic#tlou fluff#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#last of us fic#last of us fluff#joel miller fan fic#joel miller fluff#joel dealing with preggo wife
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Today, i'm thinking about Hadestown and the celebration of a doomed narrative. I'm always a sucker for a doomed narrative, but for Hadestown, it's different because of course it's heartbreaking, its devestating and unfair and they're so close, but also because it's seen as a triumph. Because the very first song it tells you what this story is. Even if you dont know the story of orpheus and eurydice, it tells you the basics going in. It's an old song, it's a love song, and most of all it's a sad song. It's a tragedy. And then the rest of the musical is spent falling in love with the characters. The whole story is spent making you forget that first song. And it works. You're rooting for them, you want them to succeed. They're walking out of hell theyre gonna make it and they can be happy and orpheus turns around. And it feels like a betrayal, because it's so heartbreaking because how did you forget? It's made more so by the Road to Hell reprise, when Hermes retells yoy everything he already said. When he stops singing and tells you what you forgot. It's a tragedy. It feels almost like a beratement, because of course he turns around, that's how it goes. Why would this time be any different? It feels like a cruel reminder of our own stupidity.
And yet...it's not. Hermes says it himself. There's power in knowing how it ends and singing it again anyway. It's a celebration of that stubborness to see them get a happy ending. A celebration of the fact that we're all just little kids demanding the story be told again and to get it right this time Because they deserve their happy ending, they deserve to get out, even if we know it's impossible. It's triumphant because in the face of gods and death and hell itself, we are here demanding it be done again and again because they have to get it right eventually. And its true, because I listen to the soundtrack over and over and each time I get to the end my heart is ripped out of my chest because I thought it was going to end differently this time. And when it doesn't, I listen to it again. It's a blessing from hermes to be defiant in the face of cosmic forces for the simple fact that they were in love and they should get to be in love. A celebration of not the tragedy, but the refusal of it.
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okay i'm gonna prolly get evicerated for this but
i feel like steve's crush on robin gets disregarded a lot. like to an extent i think it's fine to headcanon that it wasn't very strong or that he didn't *really* like her but it's just... SO popular as a headcanon
like you can like someone, not have those feelings recipricated, and still be friends with them. in fact i think most queer people have experienced this before. unless i'm the only person on the planet whose ever been rejected i guess
(double in fact, lesbians SPESIFICALLY are NOTORIOUS for doing this.)
hell ROBIN, in CANON, had a crush on an unattainable straight girl, and it was (rightfully) never presented as theatening that she felt that way
i also just. maybe it's just because i'm an enby and am interested in trans headcanons more than most but i *know* there's a lot of trans steves out there in fic and fanart, mostly transfem. like #stevie harrington will bring up excusively transfem steve content. it has its own tag
and yet nobody ships transfem steve and robin. it's usually explained away as oh well stevie didn't *actually* like her
but like
trans lesbians don't wake up one day, realize they're a woman, and then snap their fingers and immidiately pass for cis. minus maybe a handful of lucky trans kids with suportive families, most trans women look like steve at one point
like can you imagine how emotionally devestating it would be to, on some level, know you're a woman, confess your feelings to a crush, and then have her reject you because she's only attracted to women? the tragedy writes itself
like i get why people are aprehensive about shipping them. steve is a canonically male character
but i just feel like. if you're making steve a trans woman, and still feel like it's "weird" for her to date robin after coming out and/or transitioning, that maybe. *maybe.* *MAYBE.* part of you doesn't *actually* feel like trans women are women
not all cis lesbians are gonna want to date a trans woman. but plenty of them do. hell, how many fics have i read with transmasc gay eddie and cis gay steve???? people who date trans women, by and large, are people attracted to women, and lesbians do in fact fit that description
now i wonder what the difference might be between transmasc eddie/gay steve and transfem stevie/robin
oh right! eddie munson canonically already looks like a boy, something irl trans people take years (if ever) to achieve
like. especially because it doesn't HAVE to be reciprocated. stevie is allowed to feel things without those feelings being redacted because the person she liked wasn't interested
anyway ONE DAY i'm gonna fuckin write this and incur the wrath of terfs in doing so but I SAID WHAT I SAID
#i do have a google doc already with this partially written#stevie harrington#mine#transfem!steve harrington#also like. i'm a massive platonic stobin enjoyer#i just think it'd be some tasty angsty shit and also Relatable Content TM#cw transmisogyny
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