#but its like ok i have to show how she creeps towards being THAT woman

[citylighten]

Can’t really see it in the lookbook but in the hairstyles I’ve chosen for her there’s a little bump! A little wave! A little curl! She’s shifting away from the straight haired headband looks.

[its-avalon-08]

This is the anon from breathe baby breathe!!!! Im in love with itt. ok so New one LOL- - lewis hamilton x reader - major angst : on a night out lewis is accused of cheating on reader after tabloids come out - reader is breaking down, sobbing - lewis has been faithful (he was helping another girl who was being bothered by a slimy weird guy) - reader and lewis get into an argeuemnt about trust - lewis is furious that reader does not believe him - storms into the bedroom - y/n comes in and apologises, alot of tears I'm looking forward to it!!!!!! Thanks!

silent cries and salty kisses (lh44)

✦ pairing - lewis hamilton x female!reader

✦ genre - major angst, happy ending

The fairy lights above the balcony cast a warm glow on the champagne flutes, but the fizz in them did nothing to ease the churning in your stomach. A tabloid headline screamed "Lewis Hamilton Caught Canoodling with Mystery Blonde!" The accompanying picture showed Lewis with a young woman, their heads close, her hand on his arm.

The world seemed to tilt on its axis. One year. One blissful year filled with stolen kisses in his motorhome, whispered secrets under the roar of the engines, late-night talks that stretched into the dawn. Was it all a lie? A sob escaped your lips, hot and raw, shattering the happy chatter around you.

The flat thrummed with a tense silence. You, curled on the plush sofa, clutched the phone, tears blurring the incriminating photos. "Lewis..." your voice was a broken whisper, barely audible. "This... how can you explain this?"

Lewis, pacing like a caged lion, ran a hand through his hair. "Explain what? Look at it, (Y/N)! It's complete bullshit! I barely brushed shoulders with her."

"Barely brushed shoulders?" you scoffed, the sharp edges of the betrayal cutting through your heart. "You're practically making out in that picture! And the caption..." you choked on a sob, "Lewis, a year! How could you?"

"I didn't! (Y/N), for God's sake, wouldn't I tell you? You're the only one for me!" Lewis slammed his fist on the coffee table, frustration boiling over.

"Easy for you to say," you spat, anger flaring amidst the hurt. "The pictures don't lie, Lewis. They never do."

"This time, they are!" He knelt beside the sofa, pleading in his eyes. "Don't you trust me? After everything?"

You looked at him, your gaze wavering. You wanted to believe him, desperately so. But the image of him with another woman, the intimacy in the forced perspective of the photo, gnawed at your trust.

"I... I don't know what to believe anymore, Lewis." Your voice trembled, a fresh wave of tears cascading down your cheeks. "It just... it looks so bad."

Lewis's jaw clenched tight. The anger was no longer directed at the tabloids, but at the wall you were building between yourselves. "Looks bad? (Y/N), all I did was help a girl who was being harassed by some creep!"

"Helped her?" Your voice rose, laced with disbelief. "Helped her how? By cozying up by the bar?"

"Coziness? I was keeping that sleazeball away! She was practically in tears!"

"And you couldn't tell me that?" You threw the crumpled paper at him, a silent accusation.

He caught it mid-air, his eyes blazing with hurt. "Because I didn't think I'd have to justify my every damn move to the woman I love! (Y/N), where's the trust?"

Silence hung heavy in the air, punctuated only by your sniffles. The question hung like a barbed wire fence, separating your fragile foundation. Lewis rose, his frustration simmering.

"Apparently, trust is a one-way street in this relationship." He stormed towards the bedroom, his voice echoing through the room. "Think about it, (Y/N). Because when you do, I expect some damn answers!"

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving you alone with the wreckage of your evening. The sobs returned, a tidal wave of doubt and heartbreak washing over you. You wanted to trust him, you truly did. But the seed of suspicion had been planted, and it wouldn't be easily uprooted. Lewis's words echoed in your mind: "Think about it..."

But what was there to think about? The pictures screamed one truth, his words another. And you were left, stranded in the middle, unsure of where to turn, unsure of who to believe

You were adrift in a sea of your own tears, the crumpled tabloid a soggy mess beside you. Doubts gnawed at you, yet Lewis's pained voice, raw with betrayal, echoed louder. Trust. He’d pleaded for it, and you, blinded by the tabloids’ venom, had failed him.

Then, your phone buzzed. An unknown number. Hesitantly, you answered.

“Hello?”

A shaky voice filled your ear. “Is this (Y/N)? Lewis’s girlfriend?”

Your heart lurched. “Yes, this is she. Who’s this?”

“It’s Sarah,” the voice stammered. “From the bar in Monaco, tonight.” A wave of dread washed over you, but Sarah continued, “I just saw what’s going on in the tabloids, and I had to call. Lewis is a good man. A hero, actually.”

Hero? The word scraped against your raw emotions.

“He saw me being harassed by this… this disgusting guy,” Sarah continued. “Lewis intervened, kept him away. He was so kind, so protective. I was about to cry, I was so scared. Then, the tabloids came in…” Shame clawed at your throat, choking your breath.

“I’m so, so sorry,” you managed to rasp. “I didn’t understand. I… I believed the worst.”

“Don’t blame yourself,” Sarah soothed. “Those pictures… they don’t show the whole story. Lewis is a good guy. You’re lucky to have him.”

The line went dead. You stared at the phone, a leaden weight settling in your stomach. Shame and regret coiled around your heart, suffocating you.

You had to see Lewis, had to apologise and beg his forgiveness. Rising on shaky legs, you stumbled towards the bedroom, the silence from within a stark contrast to the storm raging inside you. With a trembling hand, you pushed open the door.

There he was, slumped on the edge of the bed, head buried in his hands. His broad shoulders, usually radiating strength, seemed slumped in defeat. A choked sob escaped your lips.

Lewis’s head snapped up, hurt flickering in his eyes. But before he could speak, you were at his side, collapsing onto the bed beside him. Tears streamed down your face, hot and relentless.

“Lewis, I’m so… so sorry,” you choked out, burying your face in the crook of his neck. Your voice hitched with each sob. “I believed the lies, the pictures. I didn’t trust you. I was a fool.”

Tears streamed down your face, blurring the lines on Lewis's face as you clung to him. "I'm so, so sorry, Lewis. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I was an idiot, a fool to trust those awful lies." You squeezed your eyes shut, the weight of your doubt pressing down on you.

A muffled sob vibrated against your ear. Lewis, so strong on the track, was broken, his shoulders trembling with silent tears. It was a sight that ripped your heart open.

"Don't cry," you pleaded, your voice hiccupping. "This is all my fault. Please don't cry."

He didn't answer, burying his face deeper into your hair. Your hand reached up, stroking his back in a desperate attempt to soothe him. You hated being the reason for his pain.

Pulling back slightly, you met his eyes, the pain mirrored in their depths. "Lewis," you whispered, cupping his face. "I love you. More than anything. And the thought of losing you because I couldn't trust you..." Your voice broke again.

Leaning in, you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. It was a kiss of apology, a plea for forgiveness, and a desperate promise to do better.

Lewis's initial flinch softened into a sigh. He closed his eyes as the kiss deepened, his tears starting to subside. It was slow, filled with a quiet understanding. He was trying to show you it was okay, even though you felt like the world's worst girlfriend.

Pulling back, you whimpered, fresh tears escaping. "I feel so awful, Lewis. I don't deserve you."

He captured your face in his hands, his thumbs gently wiping away your tears. "Hey," he murmured, his voice husky but calming. "It's alright, love. We all make mistakes."

He pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face in your hair again. This time, though, it was different. It was a hug that held forgiveness, a promise to rebuild.

"I love you," he whispered against your ear, peppering your forehead with soft kisses. "And you know what? Even though you scared the living daylights out of me with that whole 'don't trust you' thing…" he trailed off, a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

You chuckled wetly, a flicker of hope warming your chest. "I'm so sorry, Lewis."

He squeezed you tighter. "It's okay, baby. Just… next time, maybe give me a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions, alright?"

"Alright," you choked out, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "I promise. No more tabloid drama."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling against your ear. "Good. Now," he pulled back slightly, a playful glint in his eye. "How about we forget all about this mess with a celebratory dinner? My treat, no arguments."

You managed a watery smile. "You mean it?"

"Of course," he grinned. "Just promise not to read any more tabloids while I'm cooking, okay?"

Relief washed over you, mingled with the warmth of his forgiveness. "Deal," you agreed, wiping another stray tear. "And Lewis?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you. For everything."

He kissed your forehead, a silent promise hanging in the air.

time skip and lewis pov.

The flickering light from the TV danced across the room, painting fleeting shadows on the wall. We were nestled on the couch, a half-eaten bowl of popcorn forgotten on the coffee table. (Y/N)'s head rested on my shoulder, her eyes glued to the screen, though I knew she wasn't truly following the plot. Her eyelids were heavy, the aftermath of the earlier storm still clinging to her. The movie, a cheesy rom-com I'd chosen solely to lighten the mood, seemed to only be accentuating the red-rimmed puffiness under her eyes.

A pang of guilt twisted in my gut. It was my fault she was like this – fragile, wounded by my misread actions. Yet, as I watched her, a wave of overwhelming gratitude washed over me. Even after everything, here she was, nestled against me, seeking comfort in my embrace. The tabloids' venom had stung, the doubt in her eyes had hurt worse than any crash, but she was still here. Still choosing me.

A small sigh escaped her lips, and I looked down to see her gaze drifting towards me. In those tear-washed eyes, I saw a million unspoken apologies, a love deeper than any headline could ever tarnish.

Before I could speak, a soft, warm hand cupped my cheek. Her thumb brushed away a stray tear I hadn't even realized had escaped. "I'm so sorry again, Lewis," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

I leaned into her touch, the familiar scent of her vanilla hair washing over me. "Don't apologize anymore, love," I murmured, taking her face in my hands. "We talked, we understood. That's what matters."

But she wouldn't be deterred. She pulled me closer, her lips meeting mine in a kiss that spoke volumes. It was a kiss of apology, of reassurance, a silent promise to weather any storm together.

As I kissed her tears away, the taste of salt a faint echo of the turmoil we'd just faced, I knew one thing for certain. My life without (Y/N) was unimaginable. She was my rock, my confidante, the missing piece that made everything complete. And for that, I would fight. Always.

[sportygothic]

watched in feb

who's afraid of virginia woolf? - watched bc taylor dropped the tortured poet's department tracklist & swifties said "who's afraid of little old me?" could be a reference. Telling that i instinctively sided w martha and my dad w paul.. really funny and i wasnt expecting it. Relevant quote from my homework reading: "Have you never noticed this about people who are said to be vicious but clever, how keen the vision of their little souls is and how sharply it distinguishes the things it is turned towards? This shows that its sight isn't inferior but rather is forced to serve evil ends, so that the sharper it sees, the more evil it accomplishes." Apparently the set was full of fighting and drinking and crying and egos, yet they made this classic. Cinema is MAD, exploitation and mind games for the noble cause of Art etc. i wonder if i'll ever grow courage or if i'll ever collaborate successfully to make something good. i'm too sensitive and misanthropic though :(

basic instinct

sharon stone is the most gorgeous woman ever. Her beauty and magnetism carried this movie. Wow. The detective was a creep and an asshole and i wish she had killed him onscreen. I liked the lesbian stuff but it couldve been better, more believable if they had done justice to therapistgirl's character and not made her a sort of doormat for detectiveguy to fuck. (I forget everyone's names already it's been a few weeks). 90s Femme fatale thrillers >>> pure enjoyment

Monsters (koreeda)

i like koreeda and his quotidian japanese details and love of innocence so i'll put up with whatever he throws at me. But this didn't move me emotionally.. It's not that it was too sentimental for me (i don't mind exaggerated emotions or "being manipulated" at all in movies, i love "a walk to remember" LOL). Mainly it's that for a rashomon story the actual events of the plot didn't cut deep enough, have enough danger to live up to the reveals. I don't want the prevailing point of the perspective shifts to be "everyone is misunderstood and human and really none of them are the villain." I'm sick of that cliche, it's not as thought provoking as they think (why was the principal given that dumb uplifting trumpet scene ffs), it sucks the suspense out too much. The abusive dad showing up was a cop out like a mystery where the murderer is a nameless minor character that comes out of literally nowhere. Also not that it's a sexual film at all but the kids especially the smaller one are TOO YOUNG for a gay theme. i mean it felt shoehorned in, they were just lonely weird little boys who had a sweet friendship, it would be more poignant if that "attraction" wasn't made explicit, just leave it unsaid, just leave us something to think about. Don't get all neat. This is OK, nice, watchable, but not special like Nobody Knows or After Life.

[stackslip]

its actually good that the anime has been making me rethink himeno bc theres been more discourse around her (including some genuine poor taste ones about her and makima doing a "groom-off") and i genuinely didnt feel strogky enugh about her to really care. but with the recent ep + a quick reread of her chapters she reads as neither an angel nor as a toxic predator but rather as v similar to misato nge to me. as in like, shes someone who is very clearly deeply traumatized, who has a poor sense of boundaries in general in part bc of that trauma, and who was handed this teenage boy as a partner to eventually lose but instead he lived. it's very clear to me that while shes not what id call actively predatory, she does have some massive issuss in how she treats aki and then denji–i dont think shes been grooming aki, as grooming is a process and one that requires actual thought and planning, while himeno is like...... her romantic interest in aki is creepy but he is in his early ywenties by the time shes seriously considering courting him. and with denji its not a process either, rather a series of pisspoor decisions coupled with spcietal expectations that it isnt bad for an older woman to act inappropriately with a teenage boy.

tbc this isnt defending her or saying shes just a poor soul nlah blah quite the contrary, theres a reason i compare her to misato. your mileage can vary on what to call her or what words to use to describe her actions, but they are at the very very least deeply inappropriate and creepy. and like, its important to think of why shes like this and what her actions mean in the larger context of chainsaw man's exploration of abuse and power dynamics. she is, again, deeply traumatized and alone, and when aki shows all signs that hes going to live she puts a SHITTON on him and develops a really unhealthy relationship to him; even as a teen he seems more aware of appropriate boundaries than she is and has to learn to navigate their relationship in a far stricter manner than she does.

but its worth asking why they became partners in the first place–to question the environment of public safety. its not jsut that rookies die so easily, its that anybody can join as long as they have the will to 1) give up on their lives entirely to go adter the gun devil 2) make contracts that will cost them immensely. aki is a teen when he joins, hes lost his entire family and he's what public safety seeks–new blood, someone who'll disregard their safety for work, someone with no attachments. the buddy system is presented as being for safety reasons, but ngl i think its also to purposefully foster codependency and an active desire for vengeance when one buddy inevitably dies. public safety has tight regulations and a union and paid holidays and they are very okay with roping in vulnerable teenagers to their deaths or worse! how old was himeno when she joined? did she do it for the money for her fathers medicine? did anybody notice this backstory is revealed at the same time we learn kobeni was forced by her family to join public safety? at the same time its made clear that power and denji have absolutely no agency in this situation?

i think...... himeno is, at best, deeply irresponsible and lax on boundaries and has a real peoblem with using teenage boys as emotional crutches. at worse she assumes none of her behaviour could ever be genuinely bad because shes an older woman and theyre all colleagues, haha hoohoo, and yeah that makes her a predatory creep. shes also incredibly tragic, and its ok to admit both these things coexist in her. she's another pawn that works at public safety, a resource to be consumed, the deaths around her and her trauma the fuel to her workplace motivation. and like, it says a lot that everyone is perfectly ok with her behaviour towards denji–theres obviously the societal perceptiom of that kind of dynamic (even as himeno herself is like oh shit thats illegal aint it), but also like.... relationships there are deeply skewed on purpose because death and suffering and fucked up hookups and the exploitation of vulnerable people–including teenagers–is so normalized. like what, you gonna call your adult colleague *predatory* for flirting with the their own teenage colleague who'll probably die a gruesome death any day bc thats just part of the job? you gonna talk about how its weird for your workplace acquaintance to be so intimate with their underage buddy when you're currently working with a 15 year old who is consumed by vengeance for their family and will either die within the year or stay as a fucked up husk of a person selling their every body part to save your life?

[ks-dreams-fantasies]

You don’t want to miss dessert - Rio (Good Girls)

Ok so let’s be honest, last night’s episode was just pure teasing, the hands, the smirks, the bedroom scene. God have mercy I’m about to bust 😂 The thought of Rio making you cum into his hands in his own family home while everyone is waiting outside is just 👅 Enjoy this one 😏

Warning : Smut

Word Count : 1.6k (Not proofread)

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Being in business with Rio was definitely a challenge for you. You’ve had your arguments over the past 2 years, them not always ending well. You had wanted out after 8 months, but he wouldn’t let you do that. He had threatened you for you to come back to work with him. The problem with your relationship, was that both of you always wanted to be right and have the upper hand. He loved that you were daring and confident, but he often needed to remind you who was boss.

You could say your relationship was complicated. It was only business related, even though the both of you had slept together a couple of times before, not making it a recuring thing. Three times, you had slept together three times since you had met him, each time better than the other. You would be lying if you said you weren’t drawn and attracted to Rio. Hell, even his name made you feel puddy. He wasn’t like anyone you’d ever hooked up with before. Maybe it was the fact that you never really met someone like him, which is normal cause Rio is unique.

People wouldn’t necessary imagine the both of you working and being together, but that’s why it made perfect sense. Neither your entourage nor the FBI would suspect you to be in business with a guy like him. By the look of it, you seem to live in two different worlds, but you were very much alike. You needed to be in control, just like him and you had a certain way to plan and do things, which matched his way to do business.

He thrusted you, and he had spoken to you about meeting important people, which you were nervous for. You didn’t want to imagine someone more dangerous and intimidating than him, but you tried to prepare yourself for the worse. You were supposed to meet later that day and he had texted you the address. Parts of you was always being skeptical about his next move, fearing something bad could happen to you, not that you had anything to hide.

Being on your way to meet him, you felt the palms your hands getting sweaty, wiping them off on the black dress you chose to wear. Just like Rio, dark colors were your go to, often wearing dresses and skirts to show your legs. You got out of the car, walking slowly towards the red door, knocking on it lightly.

“Hey mama” a deep throaty voice startled you, making you turn around to see your boss boarding a slight smirk on his face, eyeing you up and down.

You felt your cheeks getting warmer as he motioned for you to follow him through the backyard. You got nervous for a minute but once you passed the wooden door, you saw kids running around and the smell of grilled food making your mouth water calmed you down. He walked towards the table, putting his arms around an older lady’s shoulder, bringing her closer to him.

“This is my boss” he said, looking at her, then diverting his eyes towards yours quickly

“I’m just his grandmother” she said, chuckling lightly before looking back at you. “You must be (Y/N)”

“I am” you answered, nodding softly

“Well, both of you come take your seat, you arrived just in time for dinner” she said motioning her hands towards the table, where a few plates were already laid down. Rio pulled your chair as you sat down, mumbling a quick thank you, string at him as he took the seat next to you. You were getting slightly less nervous as all of you ate your delicious food while talking and laughing.

“So how do you know my uncle?” a 10-year-old kid asked you, taking a bite of his chicken.

“She’s just a work friend, bud” Rio answered for you

“What’s she do?” the kid asked again, looking at his uncle

“Um, she helps me out” he said looking at you “That right?” Rio smirked at you as you nodded

“That all?” the guy in front of him asked, stepping into the conversation, looking devilishly at the both of you. “Heard a lot about you (Y/N)” he continued as you felt Rio getting tense beside you.

“Um yeah, that’s all” you said slightly blushing, feeling Rio’s hand on your back, rubbing it slowly. He changed the subject, knowing his cousin was making you uncomfortable. You continued eating quietly as they all laughed and talked together. You could feel his hands on your back still, pushing back your chair before excusing yourself.

“I’m sorry, is there a bathroom I could use please?” You smiled slightly at Rio’s grandma, as she gave you direction. You made your way inside, finding the bathroom easily. You did what you had to do, and washed your hands looking at yourself in the mirror, reapplying your lip gloss. You could hear the sound of their laughter from where you were, making you sight lightly.

You got out, making your way through the hallway, passing a bedroom, which seemed to be his grandmother’s. You stopped by the door, seeing some picture frames placed neatly on a bookshelf, making you walked closer into the room to look closely at them. You picked a picture of a young Rio graduating into your hands and it made you wonder what he studied. You didn’t picture him as a big school person, so you were surprised to say the least. You jumped slightly as Rio’s husky voice, interrupted you.

“What are you doing?” he said, leaning against the door frame, looking at you, deeply.

“I don’t know, I just got curious” you shrugged your shoulders, watching his every moves. He moved closer to you, making you hold your breath, nervous and aroused. He made you weak in the knees and you could hardly speak without getting flustered. Even thought you were a confident woman, his body close to yours always had that effect on you, and he knew it. You turned towards the bookcase again, feeling his firm chest pressing against your back, as he picked up a smaller picture frame, the both of you looking at it.

“You find anything interesting?” he asked, his mouth next to your ear, sending down shivers down your spine. He put the frame back, his arms brushing yours lightly, making you turn around to face him. His eyes burned into yours, waiting for your answer. You licked your lips, looking at your fumbling hands before meeting his dark eyes again

“I don’t know” you said, feeling bold you dropped both of your hands on his chest, sliding them down until they could rest on the waistband of his pants “You tell me” you stated, before unbuckling his belt.

He stopped you, grabbing your wrist softly, making you look at him a blush creeping onto your cheeks. He shook his head slightly, putting your hand down and dragging his towards your thigh. His finger danced on your soft skin, goosebumps rising onto your body. He lifted your leg slowly, resting it on his waist. His face now in the crook of your neck, his hot breath fanning over throat, making you close your eyes, appreciating the moment. You felt his long fingers trail up to the side of your emerald, green lace panties, before making his way to your dripping core, spreading your juices, letting out a throaty groan.

The sound of him only making you wetter, his finger making its way into your warm tight flesh. A quiet moan erupted from your mouth as you grabbed his shoulder firmly, bringing him even closer to you. The room was silent, except for the sounds of his digits pumping in and out of you quickly. Your breathing was getting heavier, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip, trying to keep your moans to yourself. His thumb found his way to your clit, massaging it slowly, putting just enough pressure to make your body quiver.

He inserted another finger inside of your leaking fold, fastening his pace, making you clench around him. One of your hand traveled to his neck, digging your fingers into the back of it, as he let out a deep groan next to your ear.

“R-Rio” you mumbled quietly, clenching your eyes shut, feeling your climax approaching by the second.

“I know mama” he whispered “let it go” right when the words left his lips, you felt yourself relax into his embrace, as your orgasm took over you. He helped you ride it out, pumping his fingers slowly, before removing them from your inside. You faltered your dress as he moved towards the door.

“Hurry up, you don’t want to miss dessert” he said smirking before leaving you all flustered into his grandma’s bedroom. You waited a few minutes, before following behind him, joining the others around the table outside.

“Ahhh here she is. We wondered where you’ve been” Rio’s cousin exclaimed as you sat down. “Pie?” he handed you a plate, not waiting for your reply. You took it, placing it in front of you listening to the older lady speak. As you all finished your dessert, you saw Rio from the corner of your eyes, dig his finger into the whipped cream remaining on his plate, and popping them into his mouth sucking slowly on them. You could feel his eyes on you, and you could only imagine him smirking as his tongue lapped at his finger, the same fingers that were minutes ago buried into your tight pussy. Just the thought of him tasting the remaining of your hot fluid made you clench your thighs together, Rio not missing the sight of you getting flustered again.

“Mhh … I think this must be the best dessert I’ve ever tasted”

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Thanks for reading

Hope you liked it, let me know what you think

-K

[eremiie]

ok ok so can you write a nsfw about armin being a little jealous about your outfit before a party and fucking you stupid until you can’t speak to let you know you’re his😋😋

thank youuu

speak up;

❥ armin x reader | nsfw | 2.5k words

❥ content: choking, semi-public sex, armin is a menace, armin is also a sneaky bitch, armin gets jealous🙄

armin didn't like the eyes on you.

they were too many people rubbing against you. he could practically feel the sweat rubbing against your skin as you danced with the crowd, the people stepping on your own pretty toes, and he could almost hear the slosh of people's drinks in their cups as they moved around the floor.

armin never really had a problem with eyes on you, as a matter of fact— it always made him feel a small sense of bashful pride. it was like recognition that yes, him, armin arlert had you in his hands. that you were his, and he took pride in that, he loved to show you off in the most subtle ways, and loved hearing compliments about you from others.

but today was a little different, for one, he didn't want to be at this party. he was only there because you and eren had dragged him to it. the two of them claimed that it'd be nice to see him out for a little bit and not in the comfort of his dorm, as if he never got out. he was sure they failed to realize that he out of all their friends was the one most likely to agree to any gathering they wanted to go to. that he was usually present, and happy to come along.  

you tried dragging him out to the crowd with you but he was fine with where he sat next to mikasa and jean. he kept his eye on you though, watching the way your hips moved with the music and the way your face was graced with this constant smile. you were clearly enjoying yourself, clearly enjoying yourself maybe a little too much that you weren't aware of the guy behind you, smiling back down at you with his drink in hand, the liquid in the cup too close to tipping over and spilling on you.

it'd be a shame if it did, you looked too pretty. your dress was too pretty. it came up mid thigh, a pretty baby blue color that complimented your skin all too well— not to mention his favorite color of the lot. the dress showed your cleavage coming down to reveal a bit of your stomach just between your breasts while the sleeves and the rest of the dress were tight around your body.

armin remembered complimenting you on your attire just earlier before the party, giving you a sweet smile and telling you how beautiful you looked. but now, since he wasn't enjoying his self it was a shame that other people got to enjoy how good you looked and he didn't. that other people got to be so close to you, feeling the fabric of your dress against their skin and not his.

armin didn't like sharing. what was his was his, and he didn't see a reason it had to be anyone else's.

he almost wanted the guy next to you to spill his drink over you so he had a reason to drag you to the bathroom, and help you get cleaned up. scold you for being too close to everyone else, although there wasn't necessarily an issue with that, he knew that if he selected his words carefully he could make even the dumbest things come from his mouth sound plausible.

maybe if he stared long enough the cup would tilt over.

"armin, are you okay?" his head whipped to the side, practically jolting at the sound of his name. he was clearly too caught up in his own thoughts, and mikasa must've caught him staring a little too hard your way.

he blinked a couple times, rubbings up and down his arms from where they were leaned forward on the table, collecting himself. he smiled at mikasa, nodding his head. "yeah! i'm fine, why what's up? are you okay?"

mikasa studied armin for a couple seconds before clearing her throat and reaching for her drink seated in front of her. she took a couple sips of the clear liquid, shaking her head as the drink washed down her throat before setting it down on the table with a reciprocating nod. her cheeks were slightly flushed, maybe from the temperature of the room, or the alcohol in her system. armin couldn't figure why as he was too lost in his own head only moments before. "yes, i'm fine. you looked a little upset."

"really?" was he that obvious? "me? upset? i've just been sitting here, i'm not upset."

"well, i know you didn't want to come, so i was just checking up on you."

armin hummed in response. she wasn't wrong, he didn’t want to be here. mikasa was just as observant as armin, so he let the conversation go, something else was occupying his thoughts anyways.

when he turned his head back to where you were previously dancing you weren't there anymore— neither was the guy you were dancing with, and armin's eyebrows came together, clear confusion dancing across his face while the cogs in his brain worked.

he glanced back towards mikasa, pushing his chair back and standing up. "where's _____?"

she fiddled with the handle of the glass in front of her, shaking her head at armin. "she went to the bathroom when we were talking."

armin breathed out a sigh of relief. how did he miss that? he wasn't insecure, no— it's just that there's a plethora of things that could've happened to you of course, the world was a crazy place after all. he found comfort in knowing you weren't too far from him. he trusted you, yes, but sometimes the thoughts in the back of his head made out the worst outcomes.

"thanks, i'll be right back. i have to use the bathroom too."

armin hadn't drank anything all night, actually, and mikasa knew this. there wasn't even a glass seated in front of him like her, but she brushed it off, averting her attention back to jean next to her.

the blonde swiftly made his way around the crowd of people until his hands were smoothing over the front door of the bathrooms. he saw the sign— there was a clear stick figure symbol of a woman on the door but he put the thought to the back of his mind. he already was making up an excuse if anyone had asked, although he knew that there'd be a rare chance of anyone else in the bathroom with you.

you didn't bother glancing to see who was at the door of the bathroom, continuing to dry your hands at the hand dryer. you couldn't help but remember when armin told you that hand dryers were actually less sanitary than drying with actual paper towels. the thought made you giggle to yourself.

you hadn't really seen armin all night, but you also didn't have to worry about this too much, as you looked to the side, armin's figure stalking towards you in the long mirror above the sinks.

you practically jumped out your skin, not expecting armin to be in the bathroom with you. you weren't even worried about the fact that he was in the women's bathroom yet, just the fact that the second your boyfriend was on your mind he was creeping up on you.

"armin!" you sighed, turning around and dragging your hands down the sides of your dress to rid your hands of the excess moisture. "what are you doing in here?"

armin looked up to the ceiling for a brief moment before grabbing your hand, pulling you more towards him. "what are you doing in here? isn't this the men's bathroom?"

you shook your head at armin, pressing yourself against his chest. you really did miss him, you felt away from him for almost too long. "did you read the sign? this is the girls bathroom, hon."

"must've missed it." he murmured, hand smoothing over the back of your dress. "you know what else i missed?" when your head lifted off his chest to look up at him he moved both of his hands to your sides, softly pushing you backwards until your backside was met with the counter of the sink.

"me?"

"you."

his lips pressed against your own, only a quick peck at first, a smile gracing his face at the simple gesture. your eyes dart towards the door for a second but before you could say anything armin connected his lips with yours again, taking your jaw between his cold slender fingers.

you could feel the soft locks of his hair on your forehead, and smell the familiar scent of fresh linen drifting off of him. it was comforting being in his presence again, almost like all your thoughts melted away whenever he came around. he brought a sense of security with him— you almost were no longer worried about someone walking in. of course the thought did still linger on your mind.

his tongue slipped into your mouth as he held your jaw gently before kissing the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your ear, turning your body around, the two of you facing the mirror. he pressed up against your backside, his lips pecking your neck before resting on your shoulder for a brief moment. "missed you so much."

"missed you too, min." his hand teased its way down the slit between your breasts, finger tips grazing over the soft fabric of your dress, you could feel them oh so gently over your skin, as if he was trying to be gentle with you. his head buried into your neck, inhaling your smell and relishing in the feeling of you against him. you were thankful to be with him once more, but you could tell he wanted something more just by the way his body slotted with yours. "but, not here."

armin pouted, hands dancing their way down to your thighs until they were pulling at the hem of your dress, simply snapping it against your skin over and over again. "come on, nobody will come in." he stared at you through the mirror, grinning at you while his blue eyes steadied on yours. they reminded you of the dress that was clad against your body, such a pretty shade. "plus you look beautiful, baby."

with the way armin peppered your neck in kisses you almost didn't realize the way your dress began to slide up your thighs and over your ass, until you felt armin's hands palming the soft plush of your thighs, a content hum rumbling deep in his throat.

you knew he was hard to stop once he started, he was clearly a little desperate to have you— although you weren't sure why. it wasn't usual for him to be so eager to have his hands on you, for him to be so touchy. he knew your personal space and your boundaries; not that he was pushing them, it was just odd to see him so bound on being close to you like this.

"thank you," you tried to further push the thought of the door opening at any second to the back of your brain while armin payed attention to your lower half. his hands tickled your sides as he pulled your underwear down by hooking his finger the band and pulling until they were dropping to your ankles, your body shuddering at the cold air meeting your cunt. "armin—"

"so beautiful." his gaze was trained on you, glistening with your slick, and his hand pushed your back further down until you were leaning against the sink counter, armin's hands working at your ass. "gonna make you feel so good, right? want me to make you feel good?"

when you felt his thumb prod at your entrance, and the fumble of his belt and jeans you let out a small gasp, immediately biting your lip and answering with an "mhm" which he took as an okay. once his pants were gathered around his waist he wasted no time lining himself up with you, inching his way in with a loud groan that he was sure nobody could hear over the music just outside the bathrooms.

armin wasn't afraid of getting caught, it was something he liked about the thought of it— the thought of someone, anyone walking into him fucking you hard, your body bent over the sink counter. it would only go to show that it was and would always be him fucking you, not some random intoxicated guy who managed to get behind you on the floor, not anybody, just him.

he didn't even realize that he was fucking into you harder, faster, until he heard cut up whimpers of his name from you, your hand reaching back to try to grab at his thigh. "armin," you managed to get out as you watched him through the mirror, his eyes meeting yours. "fuck."

the sight was nice, blonde hairs that hugged his forehead bouncing with every one of his thrusts, a blush crawling over his porcelain skin with one of his hands on your hips pulling you back on him and the other pressing into the small of your back.

your lips were parted, tits jumping with every stroke of his as you laid your head against your arm that was folded underneath you, taking armin almost effortlessly as if he was made for you. it felt so good, like he said it would, and you didn't doubt him for a second. he always knew how to fuck you just right, how to make you dumb just from his cock, no matter the occasion.

he grabbed your hand trying to reach for him and folded it over your back where his hand was previously. seeing you held down under him, for him, made something twist in his stomach, his dick twitching from inside you.

you winced at the angle, opening your mouth to speak but nothing coming out. armin spoke for you though, leaning down to your ear, only causing you to wince from the strain on your arm. "what's that?"

your eyes squeezed shut at the sensation, him stretching you out nicely, pulling out until you were only full with his tip until pushing in deep, sliding against your walls. his hips met your ass with every thrust and you let out a broken moan when he used his free hand to wrap around the back of your neck and pull you up until his breath could be felt against your ear. "you wanted to say something?" the new angle made his cock rub against that sweet spot inside of you, and when your body jerked the first time he hit it, he chuckled.

"min," you groaned, eyes fluttering to watch him fuck you from the mirror. his balls slapped against your ass every time he pumped into you, and you let your eyes roll back and shut again. you could barely form words, you knew your sentence would be jumbled. you knew it wouldn't come out right and armin felt pride in that.

"speak up, i can't hear you..." his voice still held that sweet undertone, almost condescending how he spoke to you. like he knew the affect he had, he knew how well he was fucking you. he let go of your arm and moved his hand to pull the slit of the dress to the side, one of your tits falling out, and armin letting his hand knead the soft flesh, giving him more leverage and pulling you closer to him. "am i fucking you that stupid that you can't even speak?"

with the way he spoke dirty in your ear, how he toyed with your sensitive buds, the way your slick pooled between your legs, and the way he used you how he wanted, attacking your neck with more kisses. soft pink lips sucking at your skin, nibbling and pulling with his teeth, it was all overwhelming. pleasure flood your body, and before you knew it you were tumbling over the edge, your orgasm crashing over you like a wave.

"armin!" was what you said when it hit you, squeezing around him too tight for his comfort, but he didn't slow down, continuing to fuck into you without faltering too much.

he was close himself, lip between his teeth to not make too much noise. but when he looked into the mirror and saw your fucked out expression as you continued to grind against him while riding out your orgasm, it seemed you were almost asking for more. he came abruptly, eyes widening as he shot into you, his cum hitting your cervix. he was not expecting to come right then and there.

another soft moan left your mouth that was barely audible over armin's own moans. "god, baby..." he panted, trying to catch his breath. his orgasm was intense, his body feeling ahead of his mind— like he needed to catch up to it as he was moving too fast and on his own when he was fucking you.

"i need more," you were still swiveling your hips against armin's, your hand that wasn't sitting behind your back toying at your clit as you stared at him with that same desperation he had earlier. now he had you hooked, and with the way his cock sat inside you, yes, you wanted more from him.

you were needy now, and armin had no problem giving you more either— after all you were his to pleasure and be pleasured.

his chest was still rising up and down as he tucked himself in quickly, helping you pull your own underwear up and your dress back down over your ass and over your breasts.

"let's get out of here and you can have more."

[marsbutterfly]

Skyfall

Summary: When you are hired to kill the most dangerous mafia boss, things get a little complicated.

Wattpad Version! | AO3 Version!

|◁ II ▷|

“This is the end

Hold your breath and count to ten

Feel the Earth move and then

Hear my heart burst again”

7:34pm

The clock on your wrist tics quietly but in the silent room, it nearly sounds like bombs being dropped from above. Not a word is exchanged between you and the man sitting across the room but you know exactly what he wants.

In his hand rests a dark colored suitcase, you can barely tell until the light hits his belt ever so gently but you finally see the gun he’s been carrying.

You take a deep breath, getting up for your seat. The sound of your heels clicking on the floor fills the atmosphere as you walk towards him, the smirk on his lips is undeniable and you don’t understand what he has to be smiling about.

He stands up a second after you and walks in your direction, bumping against you and dropping his suitcase and the papers in his hand. In response, you throw on the floor the suitcase you once held. 

The man apologizes profoundly as you help him collect the papers on the floor. You say over and over that it is ok, while all the curious eyes in the room land on you. As you stand up, you hand him the suitcase you once had in your hand and he nods, thanking you for the help and apologizing one last time.

You begin to make your way back to your car, the smirk on his lips still engraved in your brain as a chill travels down your spine. “Why was he smiling?” You ask yourself not wanting to admit it but you are a bit scared of knowing the answer.

Though once you open the suitcase, you understand why. Inside, rests the pictures and information of your next target, the millionaire leader of an enemy gang. Though you don’t enjoy taking sides, you’ve been paid a large amount of money to take her out, more than you have ever made.

The war between these two gangs has been going on for the longest time and you have killed enough people on both sides to earn a fair amount of enemies, but this time you couldn’t help but feel a sinking hole opening in your heart.

Hanji Zoe has always been the deadliest member of the underground group. Her kill count is even higher than yours, at least 500+ heads under her belt. They say her torture methods surpass even the ones they use in hell.

She’s known as the Devil herself.

“For this is the end

I've drowned and dreamt this moment

So overdue, I owe them

Swept away, I'm stolen”

8:15pm

Your keys unlock the heavy doors of your house and somehow the marble floors feel colder than ever. Your shoes rest in their designated spot by the coat holder and you throw the suitcase on the couch.

Two cups rest on the counter near the bar area inside your home. One of them contains what you assume is whisky, due to the color and the amount of ice in the cup, it has always been her favorite after a work day.

The lipstick marks are fresh meaning she has just now gotten home. Upon paying closer attention, you realize the shower is on and steam is coming out of the bathroom. You think about joining her but ultimately decide to have a drink first, trying to forget about your next target.

Gently, you take two rocks of ice and place them in the clean cup specifically placed out for you. Pouring yourself a single shot of whisky, you walk towards the balcony feeling as the cold air of the night hits your face.

You knew this day would come but you hoped it would take longer. 

Deep in your own thoughts, you don’t realize the water has been turned off in the bathroom and wet footsteps approach your body.

It’s not until her wet arms wrap around your black dress that you realize you are no longer alone. Her face is buried in your back and you can see steam leaving her arms as the hair on her skin stands up.

The tattoo of your initials on her hand still brings butterflies to your stomach. The memory of the night she got it is still one of your favorite moments you spent together, especially since it was after your first date and she told you she knew you were the one.

“I missed you.” She says, placing a kiss on your skin. You can feel as her breasts are pressed against you and a gasp leaves your body.

“I missed you too.” You reply, a disobedient tear rolling down your face as you chug the contents of the cup in your hand.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, placing her hand on your waist as she turns your body around so you can face her. She is a few inches taller, nothing too extreme but enough to make you look up at her gently.

Her thumb brushes the tear on your cheek before rubbing it above your lips. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to tell her the news you just received.

“You are my next target.” You say and Hanji nods, a sad smirk on her lips.

“Let the sky fall

When it crumbles

We will stand tall

Face it all together” 

9:00pm

The brush goes through her hair with ease for the first time, as if she took care of the tangles in the shower already knowing what the news you were bringing would be. After shower moments were the ones where Hanji was the most vulnerable.

She would simply close her eyes and appreciate the attention she’s been given as she fades in the echo of your voice. You hum a melody quietly, Hanji’s favorite song in the hopes to bring her any comfort at all.

Your tears drip down your nose onto her scalp as you put her hair in a ponytail, attempting to help her get ready for the party she will be attending in an hour. At the highest floor of the second tallest building in the entire city.

“How are you going to do it?” She asks, lighting a cigarette and blowing the smoke up in the air while trying to make rings out of it. You giggle, touching her shoulders before sliding your hands down her arms.

You notice the goosebumps rising on her skin and can’t help but smile at how she reacts to your touch. “Must we talk about it?”

“I need to know.” She replies and you nod, sighing heavily while finally agreeing to talk about the elephant in the room.

“I’ll be on the roof of the Paradise building. I am pretty sure they will send someone to watch me do it.” You begin, spraying the bottle of perfume around her and noticing as the drops of liquid fall on her tan skin, masking the smell of the cigarette.

“But they might not.” She says and you shrug your shoulders.

“They might not.” You say quietly.

“I wouldn’t expect any less from this city’s top 1 assassin.” She says, taking your hand in hers and planting a soft kiss on your palm, leaving behind the red mark of her deep colored lipstick.

She stands up, allowing the robe to fall to the floor and reveal her naked body. You can’t look away from the perfect shape of her breasts, the line that goes through her abdomen from a previous surgery and all of her battle scars.

“Make me yours one last time.” You say, pulling your shirt above her head as you expose yourself to her and she nods, a devious smile curling up on her lips.

You see a few old bullet wounds, some healed while others are still healing. Every single one of them tells a story about who she is and how she has lived her life but your favorite story has always been the one of how she lost her eye.

It was three years ago, the day you met. How could you ever forget?

“Let the sky fall

When it crumbles

We will stand tall

Face it all together

At Skyfall”

Since you were a teenager, you’ve been good at killing. First your shitty parents and every family member who sided with them, including your own brother and sister. Finally being able to control your life, you decided to make a living out of it.

This career put you through college where you earned a chemistry degree, learning how to mix your personal kinds of poison, some of which no one has ever even heard of which makes it hard for the police to find who was responsible for it.

At first, you would go for basic targets: rapists, animal abusers, anyone who dared hurt another soul but word got out of how excellent and quick you were at your job and your number of clients tripled and your name was in everyone’s mouth.

One day, you got a call from a blocked russian number. A smile creeped on your lips as you heard a familiar voice over the phone, Erwin Smith. The man who gave you a chance to grow in this life and made you who you are today, your mentor.

“Y/N, I’m dying.” He says, his voice is faint and you notice his life force is fading away. 

“I can tell.” You reply trying to lighten the mood and he laughs.

“Will you still work for the next boss?” He asks, coughing out a liquid which you could only assume was blood. 

“If that is your dying wish.” You respond and he hums in agreement over the phone, “Then yes.”

Later that week, two men showed up to your house to escort you to Erwin’s funeral. The rain poured over his coffin, hiding away the tears of those who loved him.

Surrounded by at least five men sat a woman in a black coat, her eyes looking in your direction as she took the cigarette to her lips. The tattoos on her leg on display for anyone to see, you could’ve sworn she was silently flirting with you.

And in a moment of weakness, a car drove by shooting up the place completely. Of course they were received with a buffet of bullets as well, but nearly a third of the people around the casket were now dead.

As a bullet makes its way towards you, the brunette with danger in her eyes rushes forward to protect you only to receive the bullet with a glass platter. Needless to say, an uncountable amount of shards found their way into her eyeball.

While she bled in your arms, you tried to make sure she remained awake.

“What’s your name?” You ask and she smiles, bringing your hand towards her lips and licking your thumb with a palpable sexual energy.

“Hanji. Hanji Zoe.” She replied, “The new boss.”

“Skyfall is where we start

A thousand miles and poles apart

Where worlds collide and days are dark

You may have my number, you can take my name

But you'll never have my heart”

10:05pm

Once you are finished redoing Hanji’s hair, she stares at the closet before finally picking out a blood colored suit. No shirt underneath, she places the blazer right above her nipples, only enough to cover them while allowing the rest of her breasts to be exposed.

You on the other hand plan to dress yourself in a completely black outfit hoping to blend into the darkness of the night. Luck was on your side for there were no stars to brighten the sky, allowing you to take complete cover.

As far as you know, nobody is aware of your relationship with Hanji, not even her subordinates. Keeping business away from your private life has always been a priority, even before you committed your first paid killing.

She places a final kiss on your hands and one of your lips, though it does not feel like a goodbye and you sadly accept any kind of comfort you can find.

When her car is out of view, you decide to go up and take a shower by yourself. You wanted to decline this job, to throw everything away: your reputation, the money and simply run away with Hanji to a place where you could live your lives.

But you can’t. Before even knowing who your targets are, you are always made to sign a consent form and if broken, it would cost you your life.

The warm water hits your face and you can still smell Hanji’s strawberry shampoo in the air mixed with the fading smoke of her cigarettes. You begin to remember every shower you spent together, every kiss you shared at the most exquisite places around the world.

Hanji always knew how to make you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Eventually, you can no longer if the water streaming down your face comes from the shower or your tears.

As you finish your shower, you begin to get ready. The black outfit had never been colder and the unsettling feeling at the pit of your stomach still remains. While putting a mask above your face, you look at your rifle.

It has your initials and Hanji’s secretly carved on the side and on the other it has the date you started dating. A good luck charm, as she liked to call it.

Tonight will be a fucking awful night.

“Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)

When it crumbles (when it crumbles)

We will stand tall (we will stand tall)

Face it all together

At Skyfall”

1:53am

Hours have passed since you've been sitting at the top of this building by yourself, looking through the binoculars at the party happening not too far away.  In the end, they decided not to send anyone to watch over your shoulder as you do your job.

The richest and most powerful people in town were all attending and, even though they wore masks, you could still tell exactly who they were. The years of analyzing and recognizing targets from afar has given you the extraordinary ability to identify covered faces.

By the bar, you see her as she rests her arm on the glass top. She looks beautiful. Her whiskey brown eyes match the liquid in her cup as the black mask covers her features. For a second, you could’ve sworn she looked directly at you.

The instructions were clear: at 2am, a single bullet should be shot directly to her head, killing her instantly. So you position your gun, looking through the lense as Hanji disappears in the crowd for a bit before returning to her usual spot.

You sigh, stopping the tears that attempt to cloud your vision. Your finger slowly moves towards the trigger, as if time itself is desperately trying to stop you from killing your loved one, but it doesn’t matter. No one could stop you now.

Counting the seconds, you make sure the shot to her head is clear and you pray she won’t suffer at all. “Goodbye, my love.”

Time nearly stops once you pull the trigger. You watch closely as the bullet goes through her brain and blood splatters across the clear counter causing every person in the room to desperately run for their lives, not knowing they are all safe.

Only one man stands in the room and he raises his glass at you for he is the only one who knows no more shots will be fired. The asshole who hired you to kill the love of your life. Fucking Zeke Yeager.

With every ounce of your body, you decide that killing him isn’t worth it. He deserves to live to suffer in the future.

You bring your body back up, beginning to disassemble your rifle. It takes you less than a minute to be on your way and you can hear as police sirens approach the building in front of you.

“Where you go, I go

What you see, I see

I know I'd never be me

Without the security

Of your loving arms

Keeping me from harm

Put your hand in my hand

And we'll stand”

Finally getting back to your house, you throw the bag containing the gun on the couch before plopping your body right beside it, a long sigh escaping your lips.

Your eyes then notice the packed bags, all ready to leave as soon as possible. The clicking of heels comes from the other side of the house and you smirk, rushing your thumb through your lips.

“I feel bad for the lady you hired to die in your place.” You say, turning around and propping your chin on the back of the couch.

“Would you prefer if I had died in her place?” Hanji asks, rushing her hand through her freshly shaved head in an attempt to get rid of any hairs that still remain attached to her.

“Of course not, love.” You reply, walking towards her before taking the glass of wine from her free hand.

“Hanji Zoe is dead and the witness to it is Zeke Yeager himself.” She says, a devious smile on her lips.

You can’t help but link your mouth with hers, tasting the delightful mixture of alcohols she has had tonight. Her hands travel through your body, exploring every inch of your skin before gently brushing against your inner thigh.

You gasp gently, nearly melting in response to her actions. God knows you want to melt but you don’t have time.

“It’s 4:25am, the plane leaves in 35 minutes so we should go.” She says and you nod.

You grab one of the packed bags plus your rifle and she grabs the rest before extending her hand to you, hoping to walk away from this life with you by her side but not before staging your own kidnapping and death, everything so no one would ever look for either of you.

Once done with arrangements, she smiles. 

“So where are we going to make our new home?” You ask.

“My home is wherever you are.” She replies and you feel your cheeks getting warm before she continues, “But I was planning the Carribeans.” 

“Fuck yes.” Is all you say and she laughs, squeezing your hand as you both say goodbye to the apartment you’ve shared for years. Leaving behind a life of danger to live together in the house of your dreams, far away from all the negativity.

Just you and Hanji. And maybe a few cats and dogs along the way.

“Let the sky fall (let the sky fall)

When it crumbles (when it crumbles)

We will stand tall (we will stand tall)

Face it all together

At Skyfall”

[deaththesyd]

To The Brink Of Confession: Chapter 1, "He's not ugly"

I'd like to blame @mytanuki-kun for one of their works inspiring this side project that is now in the way of my Kisame week progress. As frustrating as this is, I'm having fun with this one and I'm excited to write my first true multi-chapter fic, even if it doesn't fit with the rest of my works and their timeline.

Summary: At first, she had shrugged it off as him simply being worn out from all the social interaction, but if that was the case, why was he only avoiding her?

At first, she had let it slide. Being super friendly and interacting with people was draining after all, and being forced to live in close quarters with such a loud group was sure to take its toll on even the most extroverted people. His avoidance lasted the entire rest of his time spent in her world, but she didn’t worry. As usual, a month passed by before she herself was teleported away into the foreign world of Jutsu, violence, and ninja. She even shook off her doubts when instead of her usual escorts, she was picked up by Kakuzu and Hidan, being told that the others were all preoccupied with important missions, ones that she would only be a distraction from. Entertaining as she found the duo and their antics, she couldn’t exactly hide her disappointment from the silver-haired loudmouth she had grown to consider a friend.

“What’s with all the moping, huh?” He said loudly, stood in front of her, face lowered to look her directly in the eyes as she had been watching the ground as she walked. Blocking her path forward, she stopped to look up at him, forcing herself to push down her thoughts and play them off as nothing. Surprising as it may be, Hidan wasn’t entirely self-absorbed and happened to be pretty talented at sensing other's emotions, a skill that he very rarely made use of. Not that it was really all that hard to see that something was up with her. Always easy to read, an open book, she was the worst liar and easily the most sincere person he had met. He seriously couldn’t stand her mood lately, it was worried and upsetting. Mixed with Kakuzu’s ongoing anger at everything and everyone, the irritating emotions were mixing and giving Hidan a headache. There were only two ways he could think of to fix this, either piss off Kakuzu to relieve his built-up stress and risk an explosive and painful response, or play concerned friend and get the woman lagging behind them to return to her normal upbeat self. Contemplating both options, the least painful option seemed the best bet.

“It’s not nothing, I can tell, so don’t bother lying, you’re shit at it anyway,” he cut her off as she tried to reply.

She tried anyway. “Really though,” she said, smiling almost convincingly, “I’m just lost in thought, we’ve been walking all day, can you blame me for tuning out?” Waving him off, she sidestepped him to follow after Kakuzu, who had not stopped for them and was quickly leaving them behind.

Knowing that the likelihood of being separated from Kakuzu was high if they didn’t keep up with the old man, he didn’t hold her back but stayed by her side to press for a proper response. “I said not to fucking lie,” he spoke casually knowing that anything truly harsh would only shut her up further, “you’ve been like this ever since you got here, it’s not just you being tired of walking.”

Sighing, she replied, “Ok, you’re right that I’m not just tired, but it’s nothing, really. I just need to manage it by myself.” No longer lying was a step forward, but she kept her lips tight on whatever it was. She was stubborn, but Hidan was persistent.

“What’s with you being all shy all of a sudden? You’re always so fucking talkative no one but Fishface can get you to be quiet,” he complained, almost missing how she reacted at the mention of the tall swordsmen. He grinned, seemed like he had a hook. “Awe, is this about your little crush on the big guy? Did you ask him out and he chickened out?” He laughed cruelly.

It wasn’t much of a secret that she had feelings for Kisame, she wasn’t very good at hiding how he caught her eye, often spacing out while watching him train, and making any excuse to get his attention. Everyone at some point had noticed the flush to her face around him, or the fond look in her eyes as she looked up at him. To most, it wasn’t anything to focus on. Kakuzu and Sasori couldn’t care less about it, as long as she wasn’t being obnoxious, Itachi seemed to keep a careful watch over her and her interactions with his partner, his reasons were unknown to Hidan who couldn’t care less about the Uchiha. Deidara and Hidan made sure to poke fun and tease her at any opportunity, making sure to keep their taunts from the man of her affections, trying to draw out their entertainment as long as they could. After months of this, she had become accustomed to the mostly friendly jeering from the two and had begun to poke fun at herself as well. It seemed she had resigned herself to watching from afar and keeping her flirting to a level that was easily mistaken for friendly conversation by the oblivious man.

Years of being acquainted with Kisame had only given Hidan a surface-level knowledge of the man, but recently he had noticed just how unconfident truly was of his looks, something he of course zeroed in on immediately. 6 foot whatever and hulking over even Kakuzu, it was hilarious to him that the member of the legendary Swordsmen of the Mist was both self-conscious over his fishy appearance, and his years of training as a ninja had not taught him to notice the obvious signs that a woman was into him. How anyone could be so unaware, yet so skilled was beyond him.

Her face saddened at his words, her brow furrowing, and her eyes cast themselves to the ground again. “I haven’t said anything, but I think he might have caught on,” she said quietly.

Despite her clearly upset confession, he grinned. “Way to go! Fishface finally figured out how to see above water, wondered if his brain was just waterlogged,” he snickered, excited that he could finally openly pick on him over the subject, but she didn’t smile and remind him to be nice like she normally did when he made digs at the sharkman. Clearly not a good sign then.

“I think he’s avoiding me,” she said, looking defeatedly at her shuffling feet. Now that made no sense.

Not long after it was clear to everyone but Kisame that she had an attraction to the tall man, it became more and more obvious that it was reciprocated. As much as she stared at him, he stared at her. Less openly, probably why it had taken everyone a while longer to see it, but it was well known that the two were complete idiots that had no clue the other was just as interested as they were. Part of Hidan had wanted to tell them immediately, embarrass them and make a scene out of it all, but another part of him had held onto their frustrations and fed off of it as a much more drawn-out entertainment source. Deidara was in on it too, saying that as much as he wanted to set off an explosive show by forcing their feelings out into the open, he also wanted there to be a build-up. In the meantime, they got to tease their fishy accomplice as much as they could get away with without pissing him off and alerting the other half of the pining duo. The fact that Kisame was avoiding her after finding out she felt the same was not what anyone had expected. For once in his life, Hidan was pissed at the drama of it. He would not admit that he was actually looking forward to the two becoming a couple.

“Bet he’s just scared that someone thinks his ugly mug is hot and is worried for your sanity,” he laughed. Her hand smacked him halfheartedly.

“He’s not ugly.” She said sternly, “Although with how forward I’ve been, he may have been creeped out,” she smiled, but there was a twinge of pain on her face that Hidan couldn’t help but notice. It pissed him off, his whole religion was about inflicting pain and death for his God, but seeing her genuinely upset gave him a feeling of frustration on her behalf.

“There’s no way he’s creeped out by your creepy staring,” he found himself attempting to reassure her, feeling as though he was betraying his and Deidara’s whole scheme. “He’s clearly just as much a creepy stalker as you are.”

Unsure that she had heard him correctly, she looked up to see Hidan avoiding eye contact, looking off the side of the road, ignoring her reaction purposely. “I don’t see how he’s the stalker,” she laughed humorlessly, “When he’s the one avoiding me.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re just as fucking blind as he is,” he muttered. Her sudden giggle made him look at her in suspicion. “The hell’s so funny?”

She brought a hand to try and stifle her laughter before she spoke, “What’s got you all grumpy now? Upset someones not crushing back on you?” She teased, eyes darting to look at the silent man trudging forward ahead of them, then back at Hidan.

The glare he shot her only made her giggles slightly louder. “What the fuck are you gettin’ at?” He spat, daring her to continue.

Humming whimsically, she spoke, “I just think that maybe you’re projecting some of your own frustrations onto someone else.”

He should have chosen to piss off Kakuzu. She may have been the lesser of two evils at a first glance, but the ability she had to force him into subjects he would rather avoid was something he had forgotten to account for in his earlier decision. Unlike the completely requited yet oblivious relationship between her and Kisame, Hidan’s own feelings were something he tried to ignore whenever possible. It was just a shitty joke she had made, something about how Hidan should leave her alone since he was really just trying to make the old man jealous. Something he should have shaken off with a normal insult towards the old miser, yet he had frozen, caught off guard by the accuracy. That was the one and only time he had ever allowed himself to come out to someone and let them live. It was shameful in the church to have feelings of devotion for anyone but Jashin, yet wanting someone that couldn’t produce more followers was even more so. Adamantly, he refused his feelings towards the man, but since that day she had treated his explicit flirting as nothing more than a show.

Embarrassed as he was, his comeback held no bite, and her teasing and further avoidance of the earlier topic increased. Eventually, it turned into a loud argument that reached Kakuzu’s ears, who ended their annoying discussion by threatening them both. She was easier to scare, but whatever they had been squabbling about had made Hidan more feisty than normal.

“Fuck off you old dick! There’s plenty of politer ways to ask to be included in a conversation,” came the danger prodding taunt from the young man. It was hard to guess why, but the older man’s fuse was shorter than usual, and the woman yelped as a dark arm split off from the man's torso to grab the face of the loudmouthed man right beside her. Flailing wildly and ineffectively he was dragged along the ground, yanked by the harsh grip of the intolerant man. Green eyes surrounded by red sclera flashed at her, warning her she would be next if she didn’t follow quietly. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she did just that.

[cocosstories]

Sebastian Stan One Shot

Your wedding with Sebastian

The whole day seemed as though it was crawling. You tried to stay present in the conversations your friends and mom were having but your mind kept creeping back to the time.

"Honey, are you ok?"

Your mom asks, finding you staring out the window into the backyard that is currently being transformed with flowers, chairs and an arbour.

"Yeah, mom im alright. I just hate the waiting. I havent seen Sebastian all day and its driving me a little crazy."

She smiles at you knowingly.

"I was the same way on my wedding day. All i wanted to do was get down that aisle so i could see your father."

You turn to face her.

"How did you deal with it?"

She takes your hands in hers.

"Oh my baby, there is nothing you can really do to make the time go faster. However, soon you will be wishing you could slow the whole day down."

A small smile appears on your face.

"I dont care about the wedding mom. I just want to be married to Sebastian already."

Your mom laughs.

"I know sweetheart, i know. Just a few more hours. Now, come and have a little lunch. We cant have the bride passing out before she says i do!"

After lunch, it was time for your hair and makeup.

"So are we going with an up look or down with curls?"

The hairstylest asks, showing you a few examples. You finally decide to leave your hair down with soft curls to frame your face.

Your makeup was a bit easier, letting the makeup artist know you wanted a light and romantic look.

It was finally time for you to get into your gown, which was everything you ever dreamed of and even more.

As soon as the dress was on and you had seen yourself in the mirror the nerves begin to hit you.

"Not long now."

Your mom says, bringing in the bouquets and handing them out to the bridesmaids.

You make your way back to the window and peak out at the now fully set up wedding, everything perfect down to the last detail.

As you scan the yard, your eyes stop on Sebastian who is now standing at the altar waiting for you.

"You ready honey?"

You turn to face your mom and nod.

"Yes. Take me to my man please."

Giggles fill the room as your whole bridal party leads you and your mom out of the room and down the steps, ready to walk outside.

The music begins and you start to shake, emotions flowing through your body as the time was finally here.

"You ready?"

Your father asks as he holds out his arm for you to take.

"More than ready."

With that, the wedding march begins, the guests stand and you begin the walk towards Sebastian as the tears begin to flow freely.

You lock eyes with him, blocking out the rest of the world around you, seeing he is about to cry as well.

"She's all yours."

Your dad places your hand in Sebastian's and takes his seat next to your mother.

"You look beautiful."

Sebastian whispers as you turn towards the officiant.

"You look so handsome."

You whisper back.

"Welcome everyone, please take your seats."

He begins, waiting for the guests to sit down before continuing.

"We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in marriage. Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other who have chosen to spend the rest of their lives together. A promise that can never be broken and must always be cherished. Now Y/N and Sebastian have decided to write their own vows. Sebastian."

Sebastian is handed the microphone and you turn to face him.

"Y/N, you are my best friend, the love of my life, everything I have always wished for. I knew the moment I first saw you, that one day we would make it here. One day i was going to have the privilege of you becoming my wife. That we would spend the rest of our lives together, raising a family, growing old and just loving eachother more and more each day until we leave this world. I promise no matter what life may throw at us, i will always be there right beside you, even if i am halfway around the world working, i will always be there. You will never be alone in this life. I promise you will always feel heard, comforted, safe and most importantly, loved. I love you so much baby."

Tears roll down his face as he finishes his vows, shaking, he hands you the microphone.

"Sebastian, iubirea vieții mele, thank you. Thank you for seeing me for who i am and loving me because of it. Thank you for accepting my faults and encouraging me to embrace them when all i want to do is hide. Thank you for showing me what real love looks like. You have made me the happiest i have ever been in my life. Happier than i ever thought possible. I promise i will always be here, holding your hand, supporting you no matter what. Cheering you on through the ups and the downs of your career. I cannot wait to begin our lives together. I cannot wait to have babies with you and watch them grow up. Little versions of ourselves running around, probably driving us crazy but making life worth living nonetheless. I love you with everything i am. Thank you for loving me."

You say your vows, your voice shaking as you try and fail to keep it together.

"May we have the rings?"

The officiant asks as the ring bearer comes up and you and Sebastian take the rings from him.

"Sebastian, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in heath, for better or for worse until death do you part?"

Sebastian places the ring on your finger.

"I do."

"Y/N, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse until death do you part?"

You place the ring on Sebastian's finger.

"I do."

You take a shaky breath, smiling as you know the ceremony is almost over.

"With the reciting of the vows and exchanging of the rings, i now pronounce you man and wife. Sebastian, kiss your bride."

The officiant says happily.

"Finally."

Sebastian whispers before taking you into his arms and kissing you for the first time as a married couple, your guests applauding.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. And Mrs. Sebastian Stan!"

Sebastian takes your hand and the two of you walk back up the aisle, heading out of the house towards the limo, waiting to take you to the reception.

"We did it! We got married!"

You say, once in the car, finally alone with Sebastian.

"We did! You're my wife. I am your husband. You're stuck with me now."

He kisses you again and you cuddle close to his side.

"And i wouldnt want it any other way."

[annmarcus63]

The kindest thing

“Yes yes, I remember the I don't need anyone needing me situation, but well, here we are, don't you know? you are my very best friend on the whole wide world"

Geralt's heart is broken but Jaskier intends of heal him with kindness.

-I wanted to post this here again, because I can and I want to. Sorry for my bad english. Love you.-

Here's the link to ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/24114205

The war has shaken all the realms, everyone everywhere talks about the tragic death of queen Calanthe and the wiped out of her army, people fearfully whisper about the mountains of corpses the Nilfgaardian army leaves at its wake. Jaskier awakes sweating and trembling on a cold night, his chest contracting despite his controlling breathing. He fears the war, of course, but not for him, he’s safely away after all, whta is war for a bard but geat songs. He fears for certain witcher and his child surprise. News about princess Ciri's death haven't reached him, he really really hopes she's ok, again not for him but for Geralt. Because although the witcher has never showed any interest in the child, the bard knows the loss could be too great for the witchers' heart. Yes, he believes Geralt holds a heart, big and hard to reach, but a heart no less.

It's been over a year since that dreadful day on the mountaintop. Over a year since that scornful words and the look that spoke volumes. Jaskier healed himself with music and dancing, also with the normal tears rivering down his cheeks every now and then. Jaskier wasn't a stranger at traveling alone, after all he and Geralt used to part ways more often than not, even though that used to happen after months and months of traveling together. He forced himself to picked his broken heart, rebuilded even if he still could see the cracks.

After the sadness came the anger. Anger for the unfairness thrown so casually against him. How dares he? How. Dares. He? all those years of friendship and loyalty repaid with words aimed to pierce, and pierce they did. Words that were the outcome of the witchers' broken heart, because Yennefer had walked away from Geralt despite the love he feel for her. True love or not, it was still love. Jaskier was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And then came the sorrow for his sweet witcher, and his perpetual broken heart. He wasn't justifying the harshful words and his own broken heart, of course not, but at least he now understands why Geralt said what he said. He needed to broke something, even if that something was their friendship. Oh that idiotic emotionally abused witcher, if only Jaskier could mend him back together, if only Geralt let him. And one day the opportunity presented itself. After a very glorious performance at the local inn, he heard a couple of farmers gossiping about a witcher fighting an Alp no far from there. In all his traveling years he has never encountered with a witcher other than Geralt, he hopes that same fortune still follows him around. He packs his lute and the rest of his possessions to get back to the road. Asking is always the best resource if you want to find someone or something, and is oddly easy to locate Geralt.

Maybe destiny is part of their relationship, not that he'd ever mention it to the witcher.

An old woman point him to a road towards Kaedwen. Uh, So he's going to Kaer Morhen. He considers himself lucky to find him before disappearing like he used to every winter.

He walks and walks until the smell of smoke reaches his nose, he has learned a thing or two from Geralt about tracking, thank you very much, he's not that useless. Again maybe destiny is helping him, he's not that good, you see.

He goes through the trees until reaching a small clear and the unmistakable arrange of a camp. He sees a small figure, a girl with a black cloak covering her face, tending a very familiar horse. He clutches at his lute strap, by Melitele he's so fucking nervous, his heart beating frantically against his ribcage, his ears stuffed with white noise.

What if Geralt sends him away without a word? what if he spat more hurtful words? what if he's not welcome? Well, at least he'd have tried.

"Hi" he says softly

The child tense visibly, slowly she takes a step away from Roach and turns around.

"You better go before he sees you" so young age and so much steel in her voice, no wait-

"Princess?"

"Bard?" of course he returned to Cintra after the child surprise incident, Queen's Calanthe court liked so much his first performance that he was invited to play three more times, one on Ciri's birthday. He is the best bard of all the continent after all.

Of course Geralt would find her, of course. He felt a wave of pride surging from his chest. He did it, he found her. He was not alone.

“Jaskier?” Oh that voice, that damn voice reverberating on every fiber of his skin. And suddenly the witcher is there, in all his splendour, sword on one hand but he's not wearing his armor.

"Hello Geralt" and he gifts him with a sweet smile, despite the sweat on his palms and the creeping terror of being rejected. But Geralt doesn't said anything, doesn't move, some may think he's a statue. "Don't worry I won't stay long, I only want to talk if you allow me" he didn't came with the intention of staying, no, he'll respect the witchers blessing no matter what.

More than a year full of a banquet of emotions for the witcher, oh and how he love him still.

The silence stretch for long seconds, it may be hours for all he knows. And just when he's about to turn back to were he come from..

"I'll stay with Roach to give you privacy" dear Ciri says and Geralt nods rather insecure and Jaskier's heart aches at the picture. Jaskier follows Geralt to the camp, not that far from Roach and Ciri but that'll suffice. He's sure Geralt would want to keep an eye on her. The witcher sits against a tree leaving the bedroll for him. Jaskier place gently the lute on the ground not far from him. They sit facing each other.

breathe in breathe out, come on Jaskier you can do this. Bollocks, Geralt probably can sense how nervous he is.

He sees a small twitch on Geralt's lips like he wants to say something and Jaskier freaks out. "No!" he yelps, and then more softly he adds "No, let me talk. You know how much I love the sound of my own voice" he says with a small smile, but Geralt doesn't sees it, he's golden eyes are planted on the grass.

Here goes nothing.

“I've known you for a long time now, Geralt. It may be not that long for you with all your long long years, but it is to me as the fleeting human that I am. You knew me as the annoying bard, and now you know me as the annoying old bard. I've spent most part of my life by your side, if not the best part of it. And I did it gladly, and I would do it again gladly, because I choose to. Even in the first years when you were trying rather desperately to get rid of me. I choose to. Not because of the magnificent songs I wrote but because I liked -like- your company.” Jaskier force himself to stop, a nasty bump forming in his throat, is harder than he though. You are already here, you may as well give it all. "You...you’re all that I have" And this earns him a reaction, Geralt twitch against the tree and sends him a indecipherable look to return it at the same spot on the grass. “Yes yes, I remember the I don't need anyone needing me situation, but well, here we are, don't you know? you are my very best friend on the whole wide world" There, yes, a smile on his lips."You are, my friend. I mean, no matter how many times you denied it. It took me more than two decades to get to know you. It took me five years to know that you would rather spend a night under the stars than in a inn without proper stables for Roach. Ten years to know how much you hate fish but love the rabbit broth I cook. More than ten years to know when to shut up otherwise you'll snap at me, though I admit I've not always follow this knowledge. I could go on and on but not today. And so I know you really didn't mean what you said on the mountain, at least I hope, not completely. You were unfair and cruel. Nothing of what you accused me is my fault, not entirely, but if it’s my fault then you must know I'm truly sorry, If I had known I assure you I would have left your side a long time ago.”

"Not your fault" Geralt says with a weak whisper. And Jaskier feels something loosening up on his chest, carefully he closes the distance between them, knees almost touching. "Good, good. I came to apologize even though I didn't do anything wrong, but you should know that I won't do it again. I'll not tolerate more words with intent to hurt. I'll no longer be taken for granted or tossed aside like a old pair of shoes. Have I made myself clear? Because if you do something like that again, oh by Melitele I promise I'll make you pay.”

"Yes I understand" Answers. The white wolf stripped of all his barriers. He sounds so tired, so broken.

"Oh my sweet sweet witcher" he says lovingly, daring to reach out for a lock of white hair falling above Geralt's cheekbone to tuck it behind his ear. And Geralt for once doesn't pull away. "Life has not been kind to you. But I am, I have and will be kind to you till my last breath. You have me, even thru distance, you can count on me, even if I'm not that resourceful. Look at me Geralt. Yes, there you are. Hi. You have my undying loyalty and consideration, and you know why? because I'm your friend and I love you. By the way I'm amazingly happy for you have finally found your child surprise, although I wish it had been on better circumstances” Geralt smile at him, that small curve on his lips accompanied by the delicate flutter of his eyelids. And Jaskier falls for the man a little bit more. "Oh well, that was intense. I should get going, I'm planning on staying on the road for few more months maybe years who knows? I still have a couple of great songs on my sleeve about our adventures. Oh! and I received a letter from Oxenfurt. They recognize me as one of the best poets of the age. They have a classroom reserved for me, can you imagine? Me? teaching! a terrible idea If you ask me. But i'm not prepared for being the grumpy scholar, not yet if ever, I'll make them wait a few years, if old age doesn't take me first. You must come and visit me there, yes you must! or on the road when all this is over. Don't make me wait that long, ok?” He reach one last time to grab Geralt's wrist and squeeze, fully smiling before standing up, he dusts his fine clothes and hang his lute over his shoulder. "Be safe my witcher and take care of each other" he says loud enough to be heard by Ciri. He approaches the princess in question and Roach who neigh in delight, she's got a soft spot for him and the sugar cubes he always stuff in his pockets, just like the ones currently on his fist. Roach gently took a couple from his open hand.

“You're safe with him, princess”

"I know...and uhmm it's Ciri"

"Ciri” he replies

"Is good to know he have someone" say Ciri in a small voice.

"He’s always had but he needs to be reminded of most of the time.” She nods solemnly, in that moment Jaskier knew she'll grow up to be an excellent warrior even better than Geralt. He hopes he'll be there to witness it. And with that he leaves, throwing a last glance at the witcher, who's still sitting against the tree, lost in thought.

He looks at the sky, nightfall is about to come in more or less two hours, enough time to reach the nearest town to rent a room. He'll not perform, not tonight. Tonight is for him alone. His stomach grumbles embarrassingly loud, he's only eaten bread and a green apple on the entire day. He can't wait to get to the inn to order a plate of the delicious pork he could smell as he passed by. Perhaps he can afford to buy honey pastry, oh yes.

With every step taken away from the camp, he feels like he's finally free, the acid sensation in his chest and throat is no longer there. The sorrow finally gone. Suddenly, subtly, unexpectedly tears began to pour, he's sobbing, but smiling at the same time. He’s undoubtedly content.

Footsteps. Heavy footsteps behind him. He stops.

It can't be.

He turns unhurriedly, and he sees him, sees Geralt running towards him . A desperate expression on his handsome features. And Jaskier knows what's about to happen. With a swiftly movement takes the strap of his lute to let it fall at the ground. Sorry girl.

"...Jaskier" he grunts just before engulfin the bard in those strong arms. Barely recovered from the shock, Jaskier sobs some more on the witcher's shoulder. This is truly happening. Geralt is hugging him like he's an anchor, like he's worth it.

And then Geralt takes his face between his hands, cleaning the still flowing tears with his thumbs. Faces inches apart. "What have I done to deserve you" he whispers with devotion. "You should be angry, you should hate me. I don't deserve..."

"You deserve this and more. Much more." Geralt's eyes are wet and Jaskier feels blessed to be granted the trust to seeing him so open, so vulnerable.

"And you, do you deserve this despicable treatment? Forgive me" Jaskier smiles against the tears, bumping his forehead with Geralt's. "Forgive me"

"There's nothing to forgive, my witcher" Sweetly Geralt guides his lips to his forehead, his eyes, his nose, the corner of his lips. Jaskier may as well die with the happiness surging from every part of his being.

“I wanted to search for you, I was planning on to, after leaving Ciri at Kaer Morhen. You're too far important for me and therefore you're important to Nilfgaard. Come with me, come to Kaer Morhen with us."

"Yes" Because he'll always say yes, no matter what. Yes to this life, to the danger, to the songs. Yes to Geralt. They stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, breathing each other scents, loving each other.

There were still things left unsaid, but it was enough for now. They needed to rest. To hold each other some more, maybe.

[not-all-dead]

angstpril day fourteen: nightmares

CW: reliving trauma, panic attack, swearing

fic under the cut

Cold, everything was so cold. Her body felt heavy as she was dragged from a small guarded room to the pavilion outside. She was forced onto her knees, her hands pulled tightly behind her back.

She could hear every tiny movement. Her head hung low as she listened to the crashing of waves in the distance, the rustling of leaves in the wind, the occasional call of birds. Soft footsteps all around her. She’d have said was almost a beautiful scene had she not known better.

She listened, and she waited. She knew what was coming. It was the same every time, the bliss before the nightmare really began.

His footsteps were heavier than the others’, his clothes looser and louder. The wind whipped his robes as he walked up behind her, taking his sweet, sweet time moving to stand before her. He placed a finger under her chin and forced her head up, the air around them suddenly stilling.

She stared up at him, glaring at his emotionless mask and hollow eyes.

Now it’ll happen, she thought to herself.

That’s how it always went.

But something was different tonight.

As she watched him, he started to change. His body changed first, taking a form all too familiar to her, before his mask fell to the ground revealing his face.

And instead of Amon standing there, it was her mother.

“I couldn’t be more disappointed,” Toph said, staring coldly down at Lin.

“You’ve failed me. You’ve failed everyone.”

Lin closed her eyes, expecting tears to fall. None came. When she opened her eyes again, it was no longer her mother in front of her, but Kya.

“I really did love you, you know. But this time,” Kya paused and everything around them changed.

Suddenly the Air Temple was gone and they were on the beach on ember island, their friends laughing loudly in the distance. Kya’s hair was brown again, her face younger and smooth. She still stood above Lin, lifting her chin with a single finger.

“This time,” Kya repeated, the landscape around them changing again.

Now they were in the middle of a ballroom, masked faces twirling gracefully around them. The lights dimmed suddenly, plunging them into darkness.

“This time,” She said one last time, the air temple behind her returning and the cold biting down to Lin’s bones.

“You’ve gone too far,” Kya released Lin’s chin and walked around to stand behind her.

When a hand reached down and yanked her head back, it was Amon looking down at her again. His icy hand gripped her neck while he stared blankly down at her, raising his other hand above her. He stretched out his thumb and brought it quickly down towards her forehead. She squeezed her eyes shut, dreading the sensation that was about to rip through her body.

She sat bolt upright, breathing heavily and covered in sweat. She glanced to her left to see Kya sleeping peacefully. Her vision blurred with tears and she tried to stifle a sob, pushing herself gently out of bed. She made her way to the bathroom as quietly as she could, not wanting to wake Kya. She closed the door behind her and turned on the light, hunching over the sink.

Her hands gripped the edge of the sink tightly as sobs shook her shoulders. She’d tried to calm herself down and almost managed to stop crying several times, but bits of the nightmare rushed back and she broke down all over again. It was just before she started sobbing again that she heard a knock on the door.

“Shit,” She muttered before opening it, looking up at Kya with red and puffy eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I tried not to wake you up,” Her voice broke and she took in a shaky breath, her vision blurring with tears again.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Kya said, pulling Lin into her arms.

Kya held Lin until her sobs quieted, stroking her hair and rubbing her back. When she was no longer shaking, Kya pulled back.

“Come back to bed,” She said softly, cupping Lin’s scarred cheek in her hand.

Lin nodded and followed Kya back to their bed, curling into Kya’s chest and draping her arm over her torso.

“Do you want to talk about it? Kya asked quietly.

Lin lay quietly for a minute before responding, debating whether to say anything or not.

“It was the Amon nightmare again,” She paused and shifted, finding Kya’s hand and taking it in her own.

Kya hummed in response, letting Lin play with her fingers. After what felt like ages, she spoke again.

“It was different this time, wasn’t it,” She placed her hand on top of Lin’s to stop her fiddling.

Lin sucked in a deep breath.

“Yeah,” She said, moving her head to look up at Kya.

“He turned into my mom, and then you. My mom said I’d failed, and you… you said that I’d gone too far. That you couldn’t forgive me this time,” A tear slipped down her face and she moved her head again, looking down at their hands.

“That sounds awful,” Kya lifted her hand and interlocked her fingers with Lin.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Lin squeezed Kya’s hand in response.

“Thank you,” She breathed, closing her eyes and relaxing against Kya.

“I love you,” Kya whispered a moment later, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“I love you too,” Lin replied before they both drifted back into deep, dreamless sleep.

———————————————

She knew exactly what was happening. She could feel the fog seeping into her skin, filling her lungs, clouding her vision. It took over her senses first, then creeped into her mind. It made her dizzy, then tired, then started showing her all the things she didn’t want to see.

A man she’d found half dead in a cave when she was only twenty one. She hadn’t been able to save him no matter how hard she tried.

This isn’t real. Just wake up.

A woman and her baby, both dead after complications with the birth. It had been her first and last delivery, at twenty three.

It isn’t real. Wake up.

A handful of pale villagers, their eyes sunken and skin almost green. She’d done everything she could to heal them, and had kept the virus from spreading to anyone else, but had lost every one of them. She’d been twenty seven.

Just wake up.

A twenty nine year old woman, the exact same age as her, drained and lying in a pool of her own blood. They’d been travelling together for almost a year. She’d found her too late, and healing the wounds caused by her own blade had done nothing compared to the sheer amount of blood loss.

Wake up.

Jerking out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night to the screams of the others in her hotel. Nearly suffocating trying to get out of the fire. Being the only healer despite being just thirty four. Losing nearly half of the people pulled from the burning building.

Please.

Watching her friend step over the edge of a cliff at thirty seven, a year older than her. Screaming his name and running down the path to the bottom, only to find him crumpled. She tried anyway. Nothing brought him back.

Kya.

Visiting Air temple Island at forty one only to watch her father dying slowly. She was the last one to see him alive. She tried to bring him back. She failed over and over again until someone pulled her away from him.

Kya, please.

Teaching waterbending in the South Pole. Her youngest student, a boy not older than four years old, falling through the ice. Her forty eight years of life somehow still not being enough to give her the ability to save him. The wails of his mother when she had to tell her what happened.

It isn’t real. Wake up.

Coming back to Republic City and going to Lin’s apartment with the intent of confessing her feelings. She’d found her bleeding in the bathroom. She’d never been so afraid, and had somehow kept her alive. She’d been fifty three, but felt like a child again.

Kya, wake up.

Four years later finding Lin the exact same way a second time. The same fear gripping her, her hands shaking as she healed her again. She’d barely been able to breath.

Please, please wake up.

She’d barely been able to breath.

She couldn’t breath.

The air was too thick.

It was the panic filling her lungs when someone she loved got hurt. It was the smoke in that burning building. It was the guilt that grew with every person she lost.

It was the fog infecting her body, her mind.

She was suffocating.

Kya.

She couldn’t breath.

Kya.

She was shaking.

Kya.

The world was becoming fuzzy.

Kya.

Why was everything shaking?

“Kya, please,” Lin’s voice was the first thing she heard when her eyes snapped open.

Kya’s vision was swimming, tears streaming from her eyes. She pushed herself into a sitting position, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them tightly. Her breathing was shallow and fast, the lack of oxygen making her light headed. She flinched when Lin placed her hand on her back, relaxing after a second and letting her softly bring it up and down. Lin let her be for a second before recgnizing that she needed help getting out of the attack this time.

“Kya, can you look at me?” She moved so that she was sitting cross-legged in front of Kya.

Kya shook her head almost imperceptibly, keeping her stare locked on her feet.

“Alright, that’s ok. Let’s start with five things you can see,” She reached up to pull one of Kya’s hands away from her legs, squeezing it in an attempt to encourage her.

Kya’s eyes moved up from her feet, tracing around the room. Her eyelids fluttered as she did so, threatening to close every time she looked somewhere new. After a moment her stare returned to her feet and she opened her mouth to speak. It hung open for a moment before it closed again and she shook her head.

“Hey, its ok. Do you want me to get your notepad so you can write instead?” Lin watched Kya hesitate before nodding.

“Alright,” Lin stood and walked two steps to the bedside table, pulling the drawer out as quietly as she could and grabbing Kya’s small pad of paper and pen.

She walked back to Kya, who had moved so that she sat cross-legged with her arms wrapped tightly around her torso. Her breathing had improved slightly, but she was still clearly in her state of panic. Lin sat across from her again and placed the notepad and pen on her lap.

Kya closed her eyes for a second before pulling her arms from around her. She grabbed the pen with a shaking hand, glancing around the room again before scribbling a collection of words on the paper. Lin took the notepad and read the notes out loud, looking around as she did so.

“The window, the rug, me, your hands, the blanket. Perfect,” She smiled reassuringly at Kya and handed the pad back.

“How about four things you can feel?” She rested her hand on Kya’s knee.

Kya nodded and used her other hand to rub the blanket quickly. She then touched Lin’s hand lightly, ran her hand through her own hair, and rubbed her fingers on the paper. She wrote down the four things she’d touched and gave the pad to Lin again.

“The blanket, the best hand ever,” Lin couldn’t help but laugh, looking up at Kya, who had a tiny smile of her own shining through her tears.

“Your hair, and the paper. You’re doing great, Kya,” She gave the paper back and reached forwards, wiping one of Kya’s cheeks.

“Now how about three things you can hear?” Kya stared at the paper, listening, before she wrote anything.

“Your breathing, cars, Jin from next door’s radio even though it’s the middle of the night,” Lin laughed again and grinned at Kya.

“Amazing. Two things you can smell?”

Kya took in a deep breath through her nose, closing her eyes to focus on the smells. Her eyebrows furrowed in concentration and she inhaled again, blinking twice before writing.

“The ocean, home. Perfect, you’re almost there,” Lin put her hand on Kya’s knee again as she wrote the last one, not needing Lin to tell her what it was.

“Toothpaste,” Lin read, squeezing Kya’s knee slightly.

“You alright now?” She looked up at Kya, who’s breathing was now a little shaky but much more evened out.

Her eyes were no longer glazed over, and she wasn’t crying. She smiled at Lin, grabbing the pad from her one last time.

Thank you, she wrote, lifting Lin’s hand to her lips.

“Talk in the morning?” Lin asked, sensing that Kya needed time before she’d be able to voice her thoughts again.

Kya nodded gratefully and tucked the pad back in its drawer, patting the bed next to her. Lin crawled under the covers next to her, hugging her and holding her hand as they both fell back asleep.

[ajeepgirl]

Dr. Love Drug

Summary:  Kara solar flares but then gets very very sick. In her very sick state, she takes a bunch of cough medicine and maybe gets a teeny tiny bit high from it, and then goes to the pharmacy for medicine. Once there, Kara meets the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. And well, in her current state, chaos ensues.

Read On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33649807

Kara was doing it herself. Alone. Solo. If only to prove to Alex, Maggie, Winn, Lucy, and James that she could. Sure, maybe she had never done it before, because she never needed to do it before. But here she was, doing it. She could do it.

That’s what she kept telling herself, anyway, as she walked down the street, to the pharmacy near her apartment.

Her pounding head and double vision be damned.

She really hates it when she solar flares… Even more so when she winds up sick because of it. This time though, she isn’t just sick, no, she somehow got a massive sinus affection, pink eye, and the flu, all at the same time. All her friends were steering clear of her. Even Alex didn’t want to go near her.

Kara stumbles as she walks into the pharmacy, catching herself on a shelf, she blinks a few times to try to clear her vision and her head. It doesn’t help. Neither did the bottle of cough syrup she chugged that morning, apparently, as she coughs a few times. Nothing seems to help. She has no idea how humans stand being sick. Or how they haven’t figured out how to eradicate bacteria and viruses that lead to this level of suffering. She attempts to breathe through her nose, before remembering how stuffed it is, and resorts back to her awkward mouth breathing as she makes her way to the back of the store to the pharmacy (“You need real medicine!” Alex insisted, as she filled out some pad with scribbles on it).

It’s what led to Kara coming here. Alex was filling it out, saying she would run to the pharmacy for her, when she got a call from the DEO, from J’onn. It was an emergency. Kara insisted she could get the medicine herself. She knew without Supergirl, that the DEO needed her sister. Alex hesitated, she didn’t want Kara wandering around the city alone, in her current state. But when Kara pointed out that Alex had no idea how long her emergency would take, she caved and handed over the white slip of paper, setting it on the counter, giving Kara plenty of space, not wanting to catch whatever plague she had.

Alex thought she was funny. Kara did not.

As Kara approached the pharmacy, she waited for the person in front of her to finish, and she noticed how her head felt like it was flying… or more accurately, floating, several feet above her body. Was this another symptom? Maybe she did overdo it with the cough syrup after Alex left. She had no idea how much to take. The numbers on the bottle were too small to read in her current condition. Oh well. Too late now.

“Next?” Kara hears the female voice through her muffled ears.

Kara smiles widely as she hands over the folded pieces of paper. The pharmacist, a woman with long dark hair and piercing green eyes, takes the paper and opens it, and then looks back at Kara, her eyebrow raised curiously.

“Miss, this isn’t your prescription. It’s just a sticky note with your name and number.”

Now, if Kara had been in her right state of mind, she would have realized her error. She would have realized that she had grabbed the wrote piece of paper off her counter at the apartment. She had written this down before, when she was prepping for a meeting with a contact for a new article. She wanted to have it ready to go, to hand off to the person. But then a fight happened, and the solar flare happened, and she got sick… and well, the paper ended up back on her counter.

Apparently, right next to where Alex sat the prescription.

Kara, however, was not in her right state of mind. Oh no, in fact, the moment she looked at the woman behind the counter, all she could focus on was how strikingly beautiful she was. Her jawline could cut glass. Her hair was long but pulled back in a tight ponytail. Her eyes, though, are what Kara couldn’t stop going back to.

As the woman spoke to Kara, she simply stared back for a moment, the fog in her mind seeming to block out her ability to function.

“Miss?” The woman said again.

This time, Kara looks at the pharmacist, the wide grin back on her face, her nose red, as her brain decides to work a little bit more as she says, “I guess I just need your love drug.”

The pharmacist simply stares back, silent.

But Kara, she didn’t stop there, oh no. She then leans in, and whispers. “Can I tell you something?”

The woman is now smirking, intrigued by the clearly very sick and apparently high, person before her. The woman bends forward ever so slightly. “I’m listening.”

Kara looks around, dramatically, to the very empty area around her. “I’m Supergirl.”

And then… Kara gives her a wink… and does finger guns.

It’s surreal, as the woman stands there, staring at her, taking her in fully for the first time, really sizing her up. As she does, Kara reaches up to take her glasses off. And that’s when she realizes… she was never wearing them.

Her eyes go wide as she looks back at the woman before her, as a second of sanity creeps its way into the fog of Kara’s mind as she also realizes that in her sick state, she has also left her hair hang down. “Oh Rao. I just did that.”

And the woman laughs.

“It is not funny,” Kara says as she leans back down again, this time at her name tag, “Dr. Kieran.”

The woman looks backward to the clock on the wall. “It’s time for my break, let’s take a walk, shall we?”

Kara’s eyes widen and then narrow. “Why?”

This time, the woman, Dr. Kieran, leans in. Kara naturally also tilts in to listen. “Because we shouldn’t talk about secret identities in public.”

Kara nods seriously as Dr. Kieran disappears for a moment in the back of the pharmacy and then reappear as she exits the pharmacy from a door a few feet from Kara. She waves Kara over to her as she walks towards the exit.

“Do you live near here?” she asks Kara as they make their way outside.

Kara nods and heads in that direction, with Dr. Kieran a half step behind her. Halfway there though, Kara starts to get woozy, the energy needed to be up and moving around this much apparently taking more out of her than she realizes. She turns to her new friend, eyes a little panicked looking. “Um… I think… I might…”

“Oh, fuck me. Don’t you dare-” Dr. Kieran says it as she turns to Kara, arms out, ready to catch her.

And that’s all Kara hears before she feels herself start to fall and the world goes black.

---------------

Kara feels warm, like she is wrapped by the sun when she starts to awaken. It takes her a moment to realize she is wrapped in several blankets. As she opens her eyes, she realizes she is most definitely not in her own apartment. She starts to sit up, a quick gasp coming out of her mouth.

“Woah, easy there,” comes the melodious voice from earlier that day. A hand lands on her shoulder. Kara turns slightly to see the familiar green eyes. “Easy, Kara, you might pass out again.”

Kara hesitates, feeling the woman’s hand on her shoulder and recalling the events from earlier. “How long was I out?” she asks.

Dr. Kieran glances at the clock on the wall. “About two hours.”

Kara looks around for her phone but doesn’t see it anywhere. “Do you know where my phone is?”

Dr. Kieran’s head tilts in confusion. “You didn’t have a phone on you, Kara. Just some cash and that sticky note you… mistook for a prescription.”

Kara feels her cheeks go red. “Right…”

Dr. Kieran sits down next to her on the coffee table. “Hey, I need to check your temperature, ok? See if your fever has broken.”

Kara nods, giving permission to Dr. Kieran, who then feels her forehead. “Oh good, I think it has finally broken. Now, do you want to tell me exactly how much cough syrup you took? I was afraid to give you any medicine because I wasn’t sure exactly how high you were.”

Kara feels her cheeks turn a brighter shade of red. “I… um… well… I wasn’t sure how much was enough… and I just… wouldn’t stop coughing…”

Dr. Kieran hums. “Don’t get sick often do we, Supergirl?”

Kara’s eyes widen. “What? Um… I’m not… who told you that?”

“You did.” She says, matter-of-factly.

The reminder sends the memory flashing through Kara’s mind. “Oh Rao. I… I said that… in public. Alex is going to kill me.”

“Who is Alex?” Dr. Kieran asks, interrupting Kara’s thoughts of panic.

“Oh, my… my sister. She is very protective of me.”

Dr. Kieran nods understandingly. “Well, my security specialist Querl has already made the security tape from the pharmacy disappear.”

“I’m… wait, you did what now?” Kara says confused.

The woman smiles at Kara mischievously. “I said, your sister doesn’t need to worry, I was the only one there when you said it, and any proof of you saying it, has been taken care of.”

“Wow… um… thank you,” Kara stammers out as she feels her face heating up again.

Dr. Kieran half smiles. “Now that we have all that settled. How about I get you some soup from my kitchen, and we get you all better, ok?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Kara says. “I… I can go home… I can manage…”

“Kara, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you clearly have no idea what to do when you are sick. And it appears, based on the fact that you showed up at the pharmacy, that you could use someone’s assistance in this matter. So please, let me help you.”

“Why? I mean… why would you help me? Why not out me? You literally have my full name and number.”

The pharmacist gives Kara a sad smile. “I know you don’t know me, personally, Kara. But you spend your time, when you are being Supergirl, protecting people. I assume that means you think there are people worth protecting, yes?”

Kara nods slowly.

“Well, even superheroes need protecting, sometimes too. Whether that is from some big bad evil person, or from a teeny tiny flu virus. So please, let me help you this one time.” She gives Kara a small smile as she gets up and walks off toward the kitchen, though not before giving her a small squeeze on the shoulder.

Kara lays back down, her mind swirling. This woman, Dr. Kieran, might just be the most brilliant, kindhearted, beautiful soul she has ever met.

----------------

Kara falls asleep shortly after she finishes the soup. When she awakes again, she finds Dr. Kieran in the chair next to her, reading a book.

“Ah, how is our patient?” she asks, seeing Kara stirring as she sits up.

Kara takes stock of her symptoms, noticing that she can breathe a little easier now. “I think I am on the mend, doc,” she says with a smile.

“Lena,” she says in return. “You can call me Lena.”

Kara smiles. “Thank you for your hospitality. I should probably get going though. My sister is probably freaking out.”

“Oh… about that,” Lena says as she pulls out a familiar phone. “With your name and number, I was able to find your address. I sent Querl over to retrieve your phone. Good thing I did too, you left your door unlocked.”

Kara blushes as she takes the phone from Lena. “Thank you…”

She sees five missed calls from her sister. “Oh no… Um… excuse me?”

Lena nods with a small smile. “Of course, I will make myself scarce so you can talk to your sister.”

The conversation doesn’t go completely awful. Though Kara might have skipped over the part where she told the pharmacist that she was Supergirl and only told her sister the part about how she passed out and the pharmacist she met is taking care of her for now.

“My sister would like for me to text her your address. Otherwise, she might be forced to use her government job to find you,” Kara says, using air quotes for the second part of her statement, as Lena reenters the room a few minutes later.

Lena laughs. “Good luck with that.”

Kara’s head tilts in confusion.

Lena only shrugs. “Long story. Look, I can drive you back to your place, whenever you want. No need for big sis to storm the castle.”

“Thank you,” Kara says with a gracious smile.

“I didn’t know Supergirl had a sister,” Lena says as she sits back down in her chair.

“Oh… she is human. My… adopted sister, from my Earth family. Very wonderful people. But very protective.”

“Ah, I see, adoption is… always complicated,” Lena says solemnly.

“You were adopted too?” Kara asks.

Lena nods. “When I was four. But we should really be focusing on you, Kara and getting you better.”

“You are doing a great job so far,” Kara says with a toothy smile.

“Oh, is my love drug working?” Lena says back with a smirk.

Kara’s face turns bright red. “Um…”

Lena chuckles. “How about I get you some fluids, maybe some water and Gatorade?”

She stands up and walks off, leaving Kara to stammer to herself for a moment. By the time Lena comes back with the drinks for her, Kara has seemingly recovered enough to speak again.

Lena hands her the water first. “Thank you. And can I just say, for the record, you are an amazingly gorgeous, attractive person.”

Lena smiles, a slight blush creeping up her neck.

“And I would love to have met you under circumstances where I wasn’t…”

“High on cough syrup?”

“Sick, I was going to say, sick,” Kara counters. “Anyway… I wanted to also thank you for taking care of me… and apologize for ruining your day.”

Lena sits down on the coffee table in front of Kara as she speaks, an odd, unreadable expression on her face. “You… don’t need to apologize for anything, Kara. I am just glad that it seems like after a few more hours of sleep, that you are nearly recovered. I assume that perhaps your powers are starting to return?”

Kara gives a small nod. “I think my cells are slowly reactivating, yes. I can tell that my sickness is nearly gone.”

“That’s wonderful. You will be out there saving people again in no time.”

“Wait, how did you know my powers were returning?” Kara asks, her mind finally starting to work a bit clearer again.

Lena has a thin small smile. “I suppose I couldn’t convince you that I just looked it up on the internet, could I?”

Kara’s head tilts sideways as she gives a soft, pouting look.

Lena lets out a low sigh. “I have a sibling too.”

“Oh?” Kara asks, unsure of how this connects at all to what they were just talking about. She is even more confused than before.

“You have probably heard of him since your cousin has worked closely with him,” Lena says as she stares down at the floor.

“Wh… what are you saying, Lena?” Kara asks as she sits up fully now.

Lena looks up, green eyes meeting blue as she searches in Kara, hoping that Kara won’t judge her for what she is about to say.

“My brother is Lex… Lex Luthor.”

The room falls silent.

Kara stares at Lena.

Seconds tick by.

Lena, unable to take it any longer, stands and says, “I understand… I can drive you home… or pay a service to take you home… whichever you prefer.”

Kara’s hand reaches out, and grabs Lena’s, holding her in place. “No, wait, I’m sorry. I’m just… still processing.”

Lena looks down, seeing Kara’s hand still wrapped around her own. She looks back at Kara, who uses her free hand to pat the couch, inviting Lena to sit next to her. “Please, sit down? I would like to hear your story… if you want to share it.”

Lena lets out a shaky breath as she smiles and says, “Ok.”

She sits next to Kara and tells her all about her life, though she focuses mostly on the past couple of years. She tells her how she went into hiding after Lex’s attack. She knows it is only a matter of time before he finds a way out of prison. So, she went into hiding under the name Kieran. She moved across the country to National City and got a job as a pharmacist. She has a private security team that she trusts with her life, and she has a small science lab in her home where she continues to tinker and build inventions. And she hopes to eventually launch a new science and technology company under a new name. But for now, she is steering clear of the limelight and of Lex’s prying eyes.

Kara is quiet as she listens intently to Lena’s story. She remembers her own thoughts from earlier that day and is glad she was right - brilliant, kindhearted, beautiful.

“Lena, wow, I’m glad you are safe.”

“You… you believe me?” Lena asks, surprised.

Kara nudges her with her shoulder. “Of course, I believe you. You literally took care of me all day today. You rescued me. I mean, I was wondering around the city, completely discombobulated, out of my mind, and then I passed out. You are my knight in a white lab coat!”

This draws a laugh out of them both.

“I’m glad I could help, Kara, seriously. I know I don’t have to… but a part of me feels like I should be trying to make up for all the evil things my brother has done.”

Kara nods, knowingly. “I understand. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am trying to make up for the sins of my people… I… I have to save this world because my parents couldn’t save my world.”

“Wow… yeah, Kara… that’s… that’s a heavy burden to carry. Can I ask, why you and not your cousin?”

Kara lets out a long sigh before she explains. “He was an infant… he has no memory of our planet. But me, I was a teenager. And it was my parents who played a huge role in the destruction of the planet by ignoring my Aunt Astra’s warnings. So… in a way… I have to make sure that I do not repeat the sins of my family’s past… my people’s past. My cousin, Superman, Kal El, he has no memories of these things… so they do not weight on him… or haunt him… like they do me.”

“Kara…” Lena says, trailing off. “I… I don’t know what to say… I cannot image being the last of your people… to have lost so much… and yet still feel such a strong desire to help and to protect… I think I would drown in my sorrow if I was in your position.”

Kara’s eyes glimmer with the hint of tears as she shrugs slightly. “Sometimes I do.”

Lena wraps an arm around Kara. “And that’s ok. I lose it all the time because of what happened with my brother.”

This makes Kara chuckle a little as she lets herself sink into Lena. “Just wait until you see Alex blow up at me for being gone for so long. She is going to lose her mind.”

That makes them both laugh even more.

They stay like that for some time, chatting about siblings and family and life before and after being adopted. They can both sense a shared connection, something beyond the fact that Kara is a Super and that Lena is a Luthor. There is something underneath the hero/villain storyline personified by their family ties. There is a story of heartbreak and tragedy and loss that both share. There is the openness and hope that Kara still carries strongly with her, which Lena cannot help but admire. There is the unwavering kindness and brilliance that Lena has despite the way she has been treated by those who claimed to love her throughout her life, which Kara cannot help but be in awe of.

When there is a pounding on Lena’s door later that evening, the two finally pull apart.

“That would be Alex,” Kara says, standing up.

Lena chuckles. “I know. I had Querl wait by your apartment to give her my address.”

Kara laughs, knowing Alex will be so angry she couldn’t figure it out herself. Lena makes her way to the door as Kara follows closely behind.

“Hello, Agent Danvers,” Lena says as she opens the door.

Kara pokes her head from behind Lena. “Hey sis! Give me one minute, ok! I’ll be out in one minute, I promise!”

Alex’s eyes go furious with murder as she grits her teeth. “Fine. One minute.” She eyes Lena closely as Lena smiles widely and closes the door again.

She turns to face Kara, a curious look on her face.

“Well, doc, I don’t have your number. You know, in case I need it for… a follow up.”

Lena’s lips purse together as she tries to hide the smile that wants to launch across her face. She holds her hand out for Kara’s phone, which Kara excitedly hands over. When Lena hands it back, Kara can’t help but giggle when she sees what Lena puts in for her name.

Dr. Love Drug

Kara immediately opens her camera, looks her arm around Lena, and pulls her in for a selfie. Lena’s only half smiling in the picture, caught between a look of confusion and attempting to smile for the picture. Kara sends the picture to Lena as soon as she takes it.

“You know, in case you wanted a token to remember the day,” Kara says with a grin as Lena hears her phone go off from the other room.

Lena shakes her head side to side. “What have I gotten myself into?” she says out loud.

“Oh, just you wait, all the cute dog videos are coming your way,” Kara responds as she opens the door.

Lena smiles fondly. “Goodbye, Kara.”

Kara looks back at Lena one final time, smiling brightly. “Thanks again, Lena.”

[madpanda75]

“Taking Chances Part 12: The Aftermath”

See how everyone reacts to Theo’s attack on the reader. Feelings get hurt, relationships are exposed, people shout. This chapter is ALL ANGST and FEELS! 😭

Trigger Warning: This chapter mentions assault and rape.

One thing at a time. That was all you could only focus on. Otherwise the reality of what had just happened would overwhelm you. Just one step at a time as you walked into the precinct with your family, Fin, and Amanda.

“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?” Amanda asked.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled, having barely spoken since Theo ran out of the gallery that morning. The metallic taste of blood still lingered on your tongue from where he had smacked you. 

Liv walked out of her office to greet you and your family, but before she could say anything, your father spoke up. “Please tell me you’re gonna get this bastard.” 

“Dom!” your mom scolded 

“No! Don’t ‘Dom’ me. That monster assaulted my baby. I could go out there right now and take care of it.”

“Dad! Please!” Bella interjected. “Let the cops do their job!”

“Ok, everyone lets calm down,” Olivia said over the bickering.

Your eyes darted between your sister and parents, arguing over what was best for you in this situation. You felt like a child, small and helpless. You also felt partly responsible for the unnecessary stress and worry your family was feeling right now. 

Mustering as much strength as you could, you reached into the darkest depths and found your voice. “I should’ve fought harder!” Your words reverberated around the room. Everyone halted and turned their attention to you. “I should’ve followed Phoebe to the front door. I know how she forgets to lock the door.” 

Olivia gently squeezed your shoulder. “You did exactly what you had to do. You survived.”

“She’s right,” Bella chimed in and wrapped her arm around you.

Your mom nodded and ran her fingers through your hair. “I’m just so grateful to God that you’re ok.” She sniffled and kissed you on the cheek. “My patatina.”

Just then a slightly sweaty and out of breath Rafael burst into the precinct. It looked as if he had run all the way from his office. “Y/N!” He pulled you into a tight embrace before realizing that bum rushing you after you had just been assaulted was not the best idea. Wanting to respect your personal space, he immediately jumped back. His eyes scanned your body for any injuries. “Are you ok?”

Tears welled in your eyes. “As well as can be expected.” 

With a tentative hand, he reached out and cupped your cheek. You trembled under his touch and wrapped your arms around him. Rafael enveloped you, silently praying to God, the Devil, or whatever Deity existed that kept you safe.

The squad looked at each other in total shock while witnessing the public display of affection between you and Rafael. 

Fin subtly turned towards Amanda. “Did you know these two were--”

“Nope,” she murmured. “And from the looks of it neither did Liv.”

“Let’s talk in here,” Olivia said, gently leading you away from Rafael and towards an empty interrogation room.

“Why don’t I get everyone a real cup of coffee other than that sludge they have here,” Rafael offered.

Your mother smiled. “Thank you. That would be nice.”

“I’ll take a latte,” Fin teased only to receive a deadpan stare from Rafael.

While everyone went their separate ways, Amanda and Fin got to work on getting an arrest warrant. “Wow. Barba and Carisi’s younger sister.” Fin shook his head in disbelief. 

“That explains why Carisi’s been acting the way he has,” Amanda said while searching on her laptop for Theo’s office building.

“Think Barba gave him the shiner?”

“I don’t know.” Amanda glanced up and saw a frantic Sonny bounding into the precinct. “But here’s your chance to ask him.”

“Where is she? Where’s my sister?” Sonny demanded.

“She’s in there talking to Olivia,” Amanda said. Sonny looked to where his partner was pointing. It was the interrogation room used to talk to victims. Victim. His sister was a victim. He couldn’t even wrap his mind around the concept. Through the window, he could see you sitting in between your mom and Bella while your dad paced back and forth in the background. 

He barged into the room without even knocking. “Son, why don’t you wait outside,” your father said, trying to lead Sonny out of the room. 

But he side swept him and knelt down in front of you. Tears were streaming down your cheeks. “Y/N, I’m so---”

You pushed Sonny away before he could finish. “I’m going to be sick,” you whimpered and ran to the bathroom. Your sister and mom trailed after you, each giving him a severe look.

Sonny stepped out of the interrogation room and plopped down in his chair, slamming his fist down on the desk so hard the metal rattled beneath his quivering hand. 

“Hey,” Fin said. “Don’t sweat it, Carisi. We’re gonna get this creep.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled and reached into his drawer for the Pepto Bismol. The Carisi nerves reared its ugly head. He felt green. His stomach churned with guilt, grief, and whatever was leftover from breakfast. 

Rafael stepped back into the bullpen with coffee and bagels from your favorite deli, knowing you probably hadn’t eaten a thing all day. Unfortunately for him, it was another Carisi he found. He brushed past Sonny towards Fin and Amanda. “Where are we with Theo?” 

“Just finishing up this arrest warrant. Although it’s gonna be hard to get a judge to sign off on it with so little evidence,” Fin said. Rafael shuddered at the thought of you undergoing a rape kit. Having a SANE nurse poke, scrape, and prod you, searching for DNA, fingerprints, skin, and semen.

“That’s SVU for ya’.” Amanda sighed. “A victim’s word is never good enough.”

Rafael whipped out his cell phone. “I’ll call in some favors at the office. Give them a heads up about the warrant. And for the record, I’m glad there wasn’t a lot of evidence.” He glared at the back of Sonny’s head. “This could’ve been a lot worse.”

Feeling Rafael’s eyes on him, Sonny turned. “What?” he snapped. “Ya’ got somethin’ to say. So just say it.”

“You just couldn’t leave us alone could you?” Rafael shook his head in disgust and started towards the interrogation room to dole out coffee and bagels when Sonny’s voice stopped him.

“What the hell does that mean?” he sneered

Rafael scoffed. “Don’t play naive now. Grow up and realize your actions have consequences.”

Fin watched as the two men provoked each other. “Hey, fellas. Chill.”

Sonny ignored Fin and walked over to Rafael, getting right in his face. “If you think for one second—”

“Guys c’mon,” Amanda chimed in. “ Don’t do this.”

Rafael held his ground. “I think that when you invited Theo you were stupid enough to believe that she would crawl back to him. And because of you that monster almost raped her.”

Sonny’s blood boiled. “How dare you! I love my sister more than anythin’ in this world.”

Rafael let out a mirthless laugh. “Got some way of showing it!” 

Everyone stopped their work and began inching closer towards the two men to get a prime view of the potential fight. Some of the junior officers had their phones out ready to capture the action. All eyes of the precinct were on Rafael and Sonny. 

Sensing this was seconds away from coming to blows, Fin stepped in. “Barba, that’s enough!”

Rafael eluded Fin’s attempt to keep the peace and continued, “I don’t care if she is your sister. I love that woman more than anything in this world and I will do anything to protect her. Especially since her brother doesn’t know how to.”

“Stop it! Both of you!” Your voice pierced the air, causing everything and everyone to come to a screeching stop. 

Rafael took a step toward you. “Y/N, I’m--”

“No!” you interrupted. “I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take this fighting. If you can’t behave like civilized human beings then get out!” You pushed past the small crowd that had formed and went back into the interrogation room with your mom and sister. 

Amanda clapped her hands. “Alright, guys. Show’s over.” As the crowd dispersed she went back to her desk, raising her brow in a manner that said, ‘Serves you boys right.’

Rafael cleared his throat and sat in an empty chair while Sonny went over to his desk. The two men were silent with Rafael staring at his phone and Sonny chugging more Pepto Bismol. Being scolded in front of the entire precinct was enough humiliation to suffer through for one day.

One hour later and the interrogation room door opened. “Is she ok?” Sonny asked Bella.

 “She was just assaulted by her ex. How do ya’ think she is?” Bella snapped.

“Bella!” your mom reprimanded before turning to her son. “Give your sister some time. She’ll come around.” She kissed his cheek and left.

The minute you came out Rafael popped up out of his chair. He had been acting like an expectant father, pacing the floor and waiting. “Do you need anything? How’d it go?”

“Ok,” you said with a shrug. “I’m gonna go home with my folks. I’ll call you later.”

Rafael nodded. A cocktail of terror, relief, and anger etched into his face. You gave him a half smile. It was the most emotion you could muster. As you walked away, both of you knew that after today your relationship would never be the same.

****

The hours may have ticked by, but for Sonny time stood still. While Rafael and the others had left, he hadn’t moved from his desk.

“What are you still doing here?” Olivia asked when she stepped out of her office, surprised to see him alone and staring off into space rather than at home.

“My family hates me,” he softly said.

Olivia sighed and pulled up a chair. “No they don’t.”

“I didn’t...I mean when I invited Theo...I never thought…” He couldn’t finish his train of thought, a lump rising in his throat which he bitterly swallowed back down. The words that Rafael spit at him earlier still stung. Although it was nothing compared to the guilt and shame he felt. 

“Hey, this is not your fault,” Olivia sternly said. “You can’t think like that.”

Sonny studied his scuffed shoes and nodded his head when he heard Theo’s voice. “Watch it will ya’! That’s police brutality!” 

“Keep moving,” Fin said, leading your ex-fiance into the precinct with Amanda following behind. 

In an instant Sonny lunged at Theo, gripping him by the collar and shoving him against the wall. “You sonofabitch!” he growled. “You attacked my little sister!” 

Fin tried to separate the two men, but he was no match for Sonny, who’s anger gave him almost superhuman strength.

“Hey! Get off me, man!” Theo exclaimed and tried to wrench free from the vice-like grip his friend had on him. 

Sonny slammed Theo’s head into the wall again, so hard that it practically vibrated around the room. “I trusted you with her!” 

“Someone help!” Theo shouted. It took several officers to get Sonny off him.

“Ya’ know, I could sue the NYPD for this,” Theo said as he was led to the cage.

Amanda rolled her eyes. “Yeah, go ahead and try that after you’re found guilty of assault and attempted rape.”

Before Olivia or anyone else could reprimand Sonny for his behavior, he grabbed his jacket and left, unable to stand being in the same room as your attempted rapist. 

****

Not wanting to be alone in your apartment, you ended up spending the night at your parents’ house. As you laid in bed in your childhood bedroom, staring up at old boyband posters, you thought of Theo. How many memories you had shared in this room. From endless games of Bop-It when you were kids to sneaky makeout sessions during your teen years, always ready to split apart in case your mom came barging in. 

It was amazing how much life had changed since then. How much Theo had changed. From the sweet innocent boy next door to a conniving monster. Perhaps that evil streak was always in him, kept well hidden in the darkest corners of his being, but over time became more difficult to conceal. Until today when that mask he wore so well, fell and revealed his true self.

As hard as it was, you tried not to waste too much energy thinking about the happenings of today, especially when you had Rafael. You tried to call him several times that night, but every attempt ended with your thumb hovering over the call button before eventually giving up. 

You didn’t know what to say, and in reality you didn’t want to say anything. You wanted to go back to when life was simpler. To when life was easy. But there was no going back, so instead you shoved your phone under the pillow and tried to sleep.

*****

Since you had never called Rafael, you weren’t too surprised to find him standing outside your apartment building the next morning when Teresa dropped you off. “Want me to go in with you?” she asked.

“No, that’s ok. I need to speak to Rafael in private.” 

As you stepped out of the car, Teresa smiled and waved at your boyfriend. “Poor bastard,” she muttered to herself.

“Hi,” Rafael said,

“Hi,” you replied. “What are you doing here?” 

“You didn’t call last night so I came to check on you.” He followed you inside and into the elevator. You wanted to scream at him to stop being so damn nice, to stop making this harder than it had to be, but instead you were silent. 

When you got to your door, you hesitated. What if Theo was in there. Of course, you knew that was nonsensical. Fin and Amanda had arrested him last night; however, that did nothing to quell your fear.

Noticing your reluctance, Rafael spoke up, “Do you want me to check?”

“No,” you said before sighing in defeat. “Yes, please.” You waited outside for several minutes before he came out and gave you the all clear.

Rafael had intended to spend the day doing whatever you wanted to do whether that was to sit and talk or just to hold you while you cried. Instead, he followed you into your bedroom and watched you pull out a suitcase and begin to pack.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Packing,” you replied. Rafael crossed his arms and arched his brow, not in the mood for your sarcasm, especially since he was up all night worried sick. “I’m taking off work for a while so I’m going over to my sister’s place. I can’t stay here alone right now.”

Rafael followed you around the bedroom like a lost puppy as you moved from the dresser to the bathroom and back. “You can stay at my place if you want.”

“You have work,” you said.

“I know, but I can easily work from home right now if you need me.” He sauntered up behind you and started to massage your shoulders only to have you jump a mile high and flinch away from his touch.

“I’m sorry,” he said and immediately stepped away from you. As you continued to stuff your suitcase, Rafael began to get a funny feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. A premonition that something was coming. “Are you ok?”

You began to shake and it was only after a moment that Rafael realized it was because you were laughing. “Am I ok?” Your laugh grew stronger until it was maniacal. “I was just assaulted!  My family is falling apart! My life is falling apart! I am not ok!” 

You grabbed a photo of your family from your nightstand and threw it as hard as you could, watching it hit the wall and fall to the ground, the glass shattering. It felt good to unleash your anger, addicting almost. Your hand trembled from the adrenaline. Soon you were tearing apart your bedroom: throwing clothes, tugging the curtains off their rods, knocking a vase and art books off your dresser. Rafael stood there in silence while you had your tantrum, figuring you needed to release your pent up emotions after such a harrowing experience.

Once you had exhausted yourself, you collapsed on the bed out of breath. “I think we should take a break.”

At your admission, Rafael’s heart stopped. “Excuse me?”

“I think we should take a break,” you repeated. 

Rafael felt completely blindsided. He had expected there would be some tough times ahead given Theo and the assault, but he was not prepared for this. “Why?”

You let out a breath and hoped Rafael would understand. “I need to be on my own right now,” you explained. “I need space to clear my head and battle my demons. I need to learn how to take care of this myself.”

“We take care of each other. That’s what a relationship is.”

“What about work? I saw the looks of the squad’s faces when they realized we were together.”

Your words sliced through Rafael, exposing his deepest insecurities. “I thought you didn’t care what people thought about us,” he quietly said.

Unable to face him and see the pain in his eyes, you focused on tugging a hangnail instead. “I don’t, but I don't want to ruin your career and if we’re together that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

There was silence between you both as Rafael tried to process your words. He ran a hand over his face and braced himself against the wall before kneeling down in front of you. “This is just temporary, right? Things will calm down and then we’ll be back together.”

You shrugged. “Maybe. I’m not sure. To be honest I’m not sure of anything right now.”

Rafael scoffed. “Let me guess, this is one of those ‘Don’t call me, I’ll call you’ kind of things, right?”

“That’s not fair,” you mumbled.

“I’m sorry. I just...I was willing to fight for us. To fight for you. I thought you felt the same way. But I was very very wrong.” Having nothing more to say, Rafael stood up and left.

You remained sitting on the bed, listening to his footsteps move down the hall, farther and farther away. It was only when you heard the door close that you gave yourself permission to cry. 

Not wanting to be in this place another minute, you grabbed your suitcase and left, leaving your bedroom a disaster. Teresa was waiting for you outside. You stuffed your suitcase in the back of her car and hopped into the passenger seat. “Wanna talk about it?” she asked when she noticed you crying.

You shook your head and looked out the side view mirror as she drove away. Through your tears you could’ve sworn you saw Rafael walking down the street, his figure getting smaller and smaller until he blended in with the crowd and then there was nothing.

Tag List:

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[xxsmokeyy]

ok so how about a story where (preferably bi) reader and levi both fall for petra and there's this competition between them as to who can win petras heart first but after petras death (or some other issue; your choice) they both mourn and bond with each other and realize that all those times they tried to outshine each other, they fell for each other instead

Levi x Petra x Bi! Reader (F) One Or The Other

genre: mild angst, fluff (healing)

summary: it’s a bit surprising that despite being rivals, both you and Levi have gotten through a lot together. before you know it, you’re already seeking refuge from one another.

tw: mentions of death

wc: 6,575

You know it’s a heck of a risk trying to aim for someone’s hand like Petra’s. She’s the entire definition of a dainty, lovely girl everybody admires, of course including you. Besides, you don’t even know if you stand a chance, not when there’s a tough guy your way.

Namely, Captain Levi.

Well, there’s another one named Oluo, but you don’t even think of him as a competition. Definitely not a threat as well.

“Hey,” you call the girl with strawberry blonde hair. She looks back at you with a smile and stands upright, wiping the sweat trickling down her neck. You watch as she tucks her hair behind both her ears to get rid of the stray fringes. Isn’t she just hot?

“Need help?” you ask, ready to give her a hand upon seeing her singlehandedly clean the stables.

“I don’t think Captain would allow that,” Petra says before petting the said man’s horse. “Am I right, big boy?” she talks to it, combing its black mane with her slender fingers. Adorable.

“One dick of a Captain we have, don’t you think?” you say, rolling your eyes heavenwards as the image of your superior passes by your mind. “Hmm, not really. I believe his austerity is right just the way it is,” she says in full decision. Of course. The one thing you don’t like about her is the way she worships the shitty Captain like some kind of noble man.

You let out a disappointed sigh, crossing your arms. “You have got to stop being a clean freak apologist, Petra. Unless you’re inlove with him or something,” you point out and take a step towards her, taking away the broomstick from her other hand.

She’s visibly spent to the bones, tending to the horses all by herself to meet the Captain’s regulations. He only always assigns one person per duty, saying soldiers should learn how to clean alone just as much as learning how to fight, which is an utterly dumb stance in your opinion.

When she blushes by your words, a small pang hits your heart. It’s just as you guessed.

Not that it’s not so achingly obvious enough these past few years, but it’s only gotten worse ever since the new 104th recruits joined the Scout Regiment. She keeps praising the dickhead in front of them whenever they ask about him, telling them a variety of stories stretching from way back, it’s ridiculous.

“I don’t!” She really doesn’t. She just idolizes him so much that it comes across as romance. People keep rubbing to her face that she’s inlove, though it’s definitely not what she feels.

Her denial nature and easily flustered reactions keep your spirits low, almost surmising with a conclusion that you had no chance at all if not for the fact that she never made romantic advances to him her whole stay in the army.

“You do,” you avert your gaze, not wanting her to notice the brewing jealousy in your eyes, else she might avoid you or act awkward if she finds out.

“I don’t!” she presses, accidentally pulling on the horse’s crest, forcing a neigh out of it. Petra apologizes to it like it can understand her. “If that isn’t definitely guilty, I don’t know what is,” you mumble under your breath, releasing another sigh as you start sweeping the scattered hay.

Once the Captain’s horse calms down, she faces you, hands on her waist, ready to explain her feelings in fine details. “Look—“

“Who said you can slack off?” Speak of the devil. Your conversation is given a good interruption when the dark haired man arrives.

Petra immediately fixes herself, fist slamming to her chest as acknowledgment of the Captain’s presence. “We weren’t, Captain! She just wanted to help me out,” Petra clarifies right away, voice firm and booming.

You feel the infamous pair of fierce eyes dart on you, and you briefly thank anything that first comes in mind for your current position, back facing the Captain so he can’t see your disgusted scowl.

You prep yourself and turn around, giving him a half-assed salute. “I just finished with the laundry. Thought I could give her a hand,” you say, tone almost holding no formality at all, “—sir,” you lazily add.

His brows twitch as he hears you out. Brat.

“I don’t recall telling everyone to work in pairs, neither of you understood that?” he pinpoints, staring you dead in the face. You’re not intimidated, though, not one bit. If you think I’m scared, you can kiss your own ass. “I insisted. In case you didn’t notice, she’s tired,” you inform, steadiness unwavering. What is even wrong with assisting someone? This merciless prick.

“Oh?” He walks toward you in strides, easily coming face-to-face with you in a span of seconds.

“Come to my office, Petra,” he orders without looking at her, and the woman gives you one last glance, then making off after giving him a polite yes. There it is. He’s about to show his true colors, you just know it.

“Cheap way to win her over,” Levi lowly spits at you, and you can feel his hot breath ghosting harshly over your face. “If you’re so kind, do it all over again,” he orders lastly, internally entertained by how your eyes shut close in fury, grip on the broomstick tightening.

As he finally steers to leave, you swear in your life you never wanted to hit someone so damn much it’d knock them out cold.

Levi heads back, footsteps fading into the background, and an exasperated groan leaves your mouth. You frustratedly throw the broom to the floor, startling his horse, which does nothing but make your blood boil stronger in your veins. Fuck him!

—

You lie down on the hard ground, even more deadbeat than the girl you opted to help. For shit’s sake, who knew this is what you get for volunteering to be of use? You can only imagine how the new cadets would have it hard once the Captain notices their mediocre cleaning skills.

It’s probably nearing curfew, you guess from the excessive appearance of stars in the skies, but your muscles are strained stiff you can’t come inside any time now. You were left with no choice but start from scratch. If you act up and not clean up to his standards, you’ll only get it way worse, so you decided not to push him further.

You sense someone approach you, and you strongly wish it isn’t Levi. He’s the last creature you’d like to see today.

Soft and familiar amber eyes greet yours from upside down, a petite body looming over you, and you couldn’t be anymore thankful. Petra gives you a sympathetic look before sitting down beside your laid form, keeping her hands behind her back.

“I told you,” she starts, “it’d be no good if Captain sees, but you insisted and he arrived! Now look at you, you’re absolutely exhausted, aren’t you?” she continues to scold, though it doesn’t strike you as a scolding. More of a concern, yes. A smile creeps up your lips.

“Just give me the bread,” you confidently say, and she sighs in defeat before revealing the pastry she had in hand. Your heart feels giddy as you sit up straight, taking the food she went out of her way to prepare. It’s like the tiredness just disappeared into thin air. What an angel.

Petra scrunches her nose as she watches you eat in speed. You cock a brow as you see her look at you like you’re— “Do I stink?” you frantically question and smell yourself all over. No way, you’ll definitely get points off now!

She giggles bubbly and shakes her head to dismiss your assumptions. “No, but you’re biting like you haven’t eaten in ages. That famished?” she asks once she’s calmed down.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks, unsure of what to think. She’s definitely an angel, especially when she smiles. You sigh for the nth time, “Obviously. Did you see how much of a bastard our Captain is? In all honesty, I’d prefer Hange as our squad leader,” you complain and resume to munching.

“I don’t know about that,” she says, gaze boring into yours. You tear your eyes off of her and stare at the horse stalls. “What did the old geezer make you do?”

“Nothing, just a bunch of paperwork,” she says truthfully. Oh, for all you know, he just wanted her all to himself. What an unfair move, using his authority to have her alone.

You angrily bite down on the bread, later realizing you’ve finished it. As she observes you, her eyes widen, suddenly remembering something. “I forgot your water!” she exclaims and rises to her feet, but you stop her before she can leave, grabbing her soft hand.

Your chest stutters involuntarily from the contact and you compose yourself right away. “It’s alright, I’ll get it myself. Go back to your room before Captain catches you,” you urgently say, not wanting her to get in trouble again. “Just help me up,” you ask to which she generously follows. You briefly wish the moment could last longer.

“You sure?” she quizzes when you finally stand up. Both of you heading inside, you nod and hum in agreement, “Thanks for the food.”

She gives you a smile as you both reach the halls, waving you goodbye before you part ways. Ahh, you feel all energetic now.

You walk to the mess hall, footsteps light and shallow. Judging from the dimly lit corridors, it must be a few minutes away from curfew. You just hope you don’t bump into some higher-ups. Hange’s fine, though.

As you push the door open, you regret it right away. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” you mutter unintelligibly. Aside from the raven haired man, the room is dead empty, a lone candle in a chamberstick providing dull light. Technically, he is the last creature you see tonight.

You have lost count of how many sighs you’ve released the whole day, all energy in your body draining once again. Steel eyes lock on you as you enter. There’s no turning back now. Well, at least Petra isn’t the one who found him here.

Levi cocks a brow as he watches you proceed inside, seemingly heading to the water jug. You stay quiet and take a glass, then filling it with water. As much as possible, you don’t want to converse with him.

He seems like he won’t let you succeed with that. “Done with the stables?” he asks, sipping on his tea.

“Yeah,” you curtly answer, not up for some bantering.

“Some goody two shoes you are,” he scoffs, ticking you off, but you refuse to let it show. You face him and lean your back against the counter. “Like you’re any better with your assholish attitude,” you sass him out, drinking on your water all the while remaining eye contact. You’ll show him.

“And you complain like the little brat that you are,” he rebuts.

“You’re just threatened that she might go for me behind your back when I just wanted to help,” you answer with a shrug, taking a few steps closer to the table he’s seated.

“Women like you like to play dirty.”

“You don’t know a thing about women,” you snide with a condescending smile, belittling the man before you. He can’t be one to talk about women when he treats you like shit. If there’s someone Petra might end up with, you sure as heck wouldn’t want it to be this guy.

He throws you a glare, piqued by your words before standing on his feet and and walking his way to you. You stay steady, unfazed by the intimidation he’s giving off.

“After all these years, do you seriously think you stand a chance?” he deadpans, which strikes straight to your feelings. He doesn’t have to emphasize that, you already know it, memorized it even.

“I don’t know, but it’d be just as much as a loss if she chooses you,” you say, slamming the glass you’re holding onto the table. After giving him one last glare, you turn your back on him, having enough of the senseless arguments.

He hates how you only ever treat him as a Captain in the battlefield, but not when you’re at ease. You always looked at him like an arch nemesis of the sort, not afraid to answer back at him like he doesn’t deserve your respect. He stressfully closes his eyes and massages his temples as you leave.

—

You sit on the bench, just in front of the Captain, who is currently beside your beloved Petra. Look at him making his moves. You roll your eyes discreetly, sipping on your fresh tea.

“What are you, on a diet or some crap?” Levi asks, finding Petra’s plate empty, bowl of soup halfway finished.

“No, I gave it to the girl you made run laps,” she informs, “she almost passed out, you know.” Right? you wanted to agree but decide to sit still and listen.

Levi doesn’t answer, and instead puts his own loaf of bread on her vacant dish. “Eat. We have an upcoming expedition,” he only says and sips on the liquid left in his cup. Petra’s cheeks turn into a feminine shade of pink, and you so wanted to pull her away from him. She exclaims a yes and starts munching. Great, I should’ve done that first.

You’re not about to put up without a fight, though.

“Dear Captain has to eat as well, don’t you think?” you sarcastically chime in, transferring your unmoved bread onto his plate. “Can’t have him thinned to bones when the walls get breached again,” you add, innocent smile downright infuriating to Levi’s eyes.

You desperately try to keep in your barging laugh to yourself as you watch him look at his plate disgustedly.

What do you say, Petra? I’m just as kind as he is, right? That show off.

Petra hums in agreement and nudges the Captain to eat, a string of hearty giggles leaving her velvet lips, alluring about a total of three people from the same table. You heart skips a round of beats as you watch her flash her toothy grins. Talk about an appetizing view.

Her giggles boil down as realization hits her. She gives you a mixed look of confusion and thoughtfulness, opening her mouth to speak and stop you on your tracks.

“But—”

You wave her off before she can shove her worries to you and prop yourself up, momentarily stretching your limbs in relaxation to then pick up your dirtied china.

“Don’t worry, Petra, I’m already full,” confidence brimming in your tone, you tell her and take your leave. But not without giving the Captain one last glimpse. It was even more appetizing to see him pissed.

Your other comrades only watch in awe as they see the unnamed rivalry uncover ahead of their eyes, your victorious smile determining the whose triumph it is for today.

How about that?

—

When you finish with dish duty, you head to the dining area once more to check if the sconce candles are extinguished, only to find them still lit and burning, with a side of holy bastard, as you like to call him. Of all people.

“Here again? What is this, your lounge room or something?” you mockingly ask and take a seat in front of him, wiping your wet hands on your pants. He ignores you.

You purse your lips out of observation. He must be a tea addict, having another one after dinner. “Are you always here every night?” you ask again, initiating a genuine conversation.

He finally looks at you and sets his tea on the table, a bit surprised by your question. “I am,” he answers. You nod, about to ask another question but he beats you to it.

“I’m removing you from the flank,” he suddenly blurts, taking you aback. What? Your rested face visibly loses composure as your brows furrow together.

“What do you mean? Is it because I shitted on you earlier? Oh please, do you think I’ll hit on Petra while on a mission?” you continuously spurt in one go, hackles slowly raising.

“It’s not about her. Erwin specifically asked for you to join his group since you apparently answered him right,” he remarks, completely calm. You are smart, that’s already a given that he knows, it’s just that feelings can get over the best of you that he doesn’t find rational.

Your ragged breathing upon taking him the wrong way steadies as you listen. “The Commander?” you confirm and he grunts his response. “Alright then, you better watch over her in my stead.”

Levi takes a glance at you, steel grey eyes holding an unreadable expression, which you find amusing and triggers a laugh out of you. It’s like his answer should have been already staring you in the face. Naturally, he’ll do that without you ordering him.

He can be cute at times, can’t he? In a funny way of course, you inwardly clear out.

Meanwhile, he thinks you’re out of your mind as you humor yourself. He’d honestly like it if you just leave him alone right now, which you eventually did, waving him goodbye.

The night before the expedition, you pay Petra’s room a short visit.

She answers the door within three quiet knocks. “Hey,” you greet with a smile and she offers to let you in forthrightly. “No! It’s fine, I just need a few seconds,” you dismiss.

“What is it?” she curiously asks, now face to face with you as you stand in her doorway.

“I won’t be with you tomorrow, so you better take care. Stick with Gunther, or Oluo. If possible, not with the Captain,” you whisper the last bit jokingly, but she ignores it and only questions why you’re separated. You explain the situation to her, leaving out the confidential details.

Petra nods, stroking her chin. You notice she’s already in her nightwear and is probably prepared to sleep, so you decide to return to your own quarters.

“Take care, alright?” you remind, eyes boring into her borderline gold ones. They were pretty and gentle, a pair you always adored through the years.

Petra wishes you the same and then a good night, strongly wanting to unite with you safely after the mission you could feel it deep inside you.

As you look at her, you‘re certain that you haven’t met a more loving person your whole life. Will there ever come a time that you’d confess to her? Probably not. If you’re being frank, you don’t think what you feel for her is that deep a love that you’d go out of your way to initiate a romantic bond. If nothing else, it might only be admiration, an attachment at most. You like her, that goes without saying, but there isn’t any room for in depth involvement, especially not in this line of work, you think.

The door to her room finally closed, you spin to get your own shuteye, only to see a familiar figure from a little distance.

The candlelights on the halls define the highest points of the man’s face beautifully, and you identify him without a hitch, dull grey orbs meeting yours.

“Let her sleep, and get your rest,” he briefly says before making off. Your eyes slightly largen from the lack of interaction, as opposed to the reprimanding you expected. Was he supposed to say his regards to her as well?

In all fairness, he didn’t go for your neck this time. Well, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Morning comes quickly, along with the falling into formation as sketched, the deployment of operation, and the arrays of discoveries you found in the progress. Everything happened quickly, and before you know it, the expedition is given an official beat to retreat.

You stand on the same branch as the Commander, waiting for his signal to flee after fighting off the wave of titans to defend the target. Three pair of your blades are blunted down to nubs from the excessive charges, and you think for a moment if you should replace them with new ones.

Catching your breath, you wipe dry your dampened skin and clothes. You watch as he idly chat with the Captain, instructing him to refill his gases. For what? I thought it’s over?

Levi listens to what he’s told, perceivably on his guard. Why is he even here? Where are the others? When you’re just about to call Levi’s attention, Erwin catches sight of you and the confusion resounding from your aura. He then permits you to break away from his flank and reunite with your own squad, and you gladly follow.

You first help clean up with the immobilizing equipment used on the spy, telling Hange to prepare for withdrawal. She passes the message onto the other soldiers, commanding them to bestride their horses to then get going.

You still don’t know where to find your teammates, so you stick with the higher-ups a little longer.

Since you’ll travel by horse from here on, you decide not to meddle with your gears anymore. You hop on the saddle and lightly yank the reigns to start moving, and with everyone else, you ride through the woods, thousands of questions ready inside your head.

A few moments later, you hear Erwin converse with Hange regarding the spy, about how they must still be alive and how they must’ve blended in by now. You feel the tension rising as you listen to his assumptions, trying to register everything he’s trying to come across with, and it all makes sense when you hear two consecutive thundering of little intervals.

You quickly turn around and swerve, shifting your weight to guide your horse back to where the booming sound came from. It’s the alleged sound intelligent titans make when they transform, and you know push has come to shove if you hear two of them.

As far as you remember, the key weapon was situated together with your squad, you being the only one left out, so you’ll find them where Eren is. You let your horse gallop in great speed, heart thumping loudly in your chest it’s almost deafening. Please, be safe.

It feels like decades have already gone by when you arrive at the terrorizing scene of carnage.

You put your horse to an abrupt halt and jump off, cold sweat breaking without control as you stumble upon corpses and corpses you achingly recognize, the life in their eyes strenuously extracted. Gunther, Eld, Oluo… Petra.

An immense vertigo hits your head, your field of vision blurring upon seeing them drained of consciousness. You refuse to accept the view, shaking your head like a child in utmost declination. It seems you’ve only followed behind the Captain, finding him looking at the same plight.

“Levi…” you helplessly call as if seeking for refuge and saving. But it horrifies you the most when you meet his dead gaze deprived of rest, almost exactly looking like theirs, striking violently at your heart. No, not you, too…

Streams of tears shed endlessly from the corners of your eyes, and Levi doesn’t know what to do. He’s beyond pained, watching the only comrade he has left on his team slowly break down due to the shambles. He can’t afford to be frozen by the fathomless torment he’s currently trying to overcome, nor does he have the luxury to stay by your side and console you.

He has no choice but to keep moving.

“Call the others for assistance and put their bodies on a carriage,” are the last words he gives you before taking his leave, wires zipping and clutching into the surfaces of the tree barks as he skillfully maneuvers with his gear.

You think for a second, is he that used to losing people? but you completely miss out on how he slashes the giant enemy in great anger, expertly cutting flesh like he’s never done before as if it’s his only chance to momentarily pour out his emotions, all the while trying to stay objective.

Your whole body weakens and you fall to your knees, getting a closer look at the dead woman before your sight. Your hand acts on its own, stretching out to painstakingly tuck Petra’s locks behind her ear like how she always styled it. Your lips tremble as you attempt to fight your threatening sobs back.

She has slipped out from both your reaches.

Since then, you limited your interactions to those that were only really necessary, because for the first time in a while, you feel utterly alone. Years of having the sweet girl by your side all gone into the dust, along with the overwhelming loss of your whole squad, everything is weighing you down.

Flashes of memories come at the most misplaced time every now and then, and you can’t handle it when it triggers in public, causing you to lock yourself up in your room, weeping in secret.

You can’t be any more thankful to your Captain for letting you wallow in your own way of coping. Most importantly, though a small part of you still doesn’t want to admit, you’re more than grateful he stayed alive all throughout the last of the mission, coming back home with you.

You still remember the hurt in his eyes that no matter how hard he attempted to conceal, still peers out. It was visible when you had no choice but to throw the bodies out of the carriages, bringing not a single fallen soldier back. It was visible when Petra’s father asked the Captain for his daughter, even going as far as spilling his plans of arranging a marriage between the two young pair.

It’s haunting you so much, you haven’t had an hour of sleep after arriving back even if there’s an upcoming operation. Despite it being against your will, you frequently wonder how he’s doing.

One night, you find yourself walking through the halls, unable to force your mind to just shut down and rest without stressing out for the uncountable time.

You don’t know why you’re fully decisive of where to go and who to find. You don’t know why you feel calmer every step further. You don’t know why you’re so eager as you push on the wooden doors of the mess hall. You don’t know why you already expected to see him there.

“Oh, look at the old geezer drinking his tea in the dark. Do you know what time it is? It’s past curfew,” you inform sarcastically, voice also forging a front to sound normal. It’s not yet past curfew, you just want to tick him off.

“You’re only four years younger, and it’s not,” Levi answers as he lets his eyes land on yours. It’s obvious you’re only trying to clown around, the exhaustion in your face giving away your crestfallen state.

“What? How do you know that?” you ask, scandalized.

“I recognize the time.”

“I meant my age?”

“Because I am your Captain, woman. Don’t push me,” he hisses and brings his teacup into his mouth, the hot beverage staining on his tongue just the way he likes it. Even more so that it’s the only thing he can rely on at the moment. That’s what he thinks.

You scowl and sigh. Fair enough.

You take a seat in front of him and he gives you an unreadable look, as usual. Does he feel intruded? All of a sudden, you feel shy, hoping you’re not bothering him.

“What? I won’t mess with you, I’m tired,” you argue upon seeing him stare you down like something’s off with you.

Levi studies your expression, finding your face a bit similar to his in a not so positive way. With a shallow sigh, he decides to let you be and do what you want.

You prop your cheek on your elbow and maintain eye contact. “How’s your leg?” you quiz, genuinely curious of his current condition. The bastard brought home an injury as souvenir, rendering him downright useless for the plans the Scouts had right ahead.

“Not good,” he says, earning him a hum in response. The longer he lets his glance stay on yours, the more he notices the little details in the way you presented yourself.

Tonight, you spared no effort in fixing your hair, still a bit messy from the tossing and turning earlier in desperate hopes to fall asleep. Your lips were dry and chapped, he notes to call you out for it later. For all he knows, you might be dehydrated already. Your eyes? Unquestionably racked with pain.

You rest your face on top of your overlapped arms and settle to find a comfortable position.

“Go to your room if you want to sleep,” he orders, which you only ignore. Does he seriously think you’ve been able to sleep these days? Because you’re sure as heck he can’t with those dark under eyes of him. “Your neck will only get stiff in that position,” he adds.

Something about the company he generously, though not obviously, offers makes your eyelids fall shut in ease, his baritone voice helping your nerves compose themselves.

“I said I’m tired, give me a break…” you gradually lose volume as you speak, slowly drifting off without knowing.

Levi clicks his tongue when you finally succumb to drowsiness.

It’s not like he doesn’t have any options left, but he couldn’t do anything as he stays all night to watch over you. Surprisingly enough, the company felt comforting that he can’t bring himself to leave.

Couple hours later, he’s still up and reading a book when he hears a soft whimper escape your lips. Levi takes a glimpse at you and is a bit baffled to catch sight of a lone driblet trickling from your lids.

Sighing, he feels inclined to wipe it away with his thumb in sympathy and does as his subconscious says. The moment his calloused finger touches your skin, he realizes that you were undeniably warm. So much for a brat like you.

When you wake up, you feel a heavy cloth wrapped around your soldiers. You check the surroundings and remember falling asleep in the dining, later seeing that the fabric is a tan jacket, a uniform. The familiar scent enters your nostrils, and you name its owner right away.

An involuntary wave of heat rises to your cheeks and you’re uncertain why. It’s Captain Levi’s.

It makes you contemplate out of nowhere, was it wrong to treat him like a competition?

Thinking about it, you kind of regret not being casual with him. Without question, you’re not really in best terms with him, having an eye for the same person for a long time, that should be understood. He’s an outstanding soldier, that you can admit, but you can’t exactly put up with his strict ways at times, some of it coming off as irrational.

Maybe you should really just accept the fact that he’s a great Captain nevertheless. Because even though you viewed him like that all this time, he’s still being considerate in some ways.

A small smile forms on your lips. You definitely should start warming up to him. He’s the only team you’ve got left.

—

Tray in hand, you enter the Captain’s room, not bothering with a knock. To hell with that, I’ve got a handful, if he complains about his privacy or some crap, I’ll shove this damn food to his face.

Yes, you decided to bring him his lunch after the successful-fail raid in Stohess District. Honestly, you’re damn tired to the bones, but you take it upon yourself to give Levi a short visit.

He gives you an annoyed stare, obviously not expecting your company, and you only roll your eyes. “What’s that?” he asks.

“Food. What, is your old age getting to you? Need some glasses?” you talk back, not up for his dumb question.

Things aren’t going so well for the Survey Corps, political stances going against your brigade, comrades dying one by one you’re not entirely sure if their death was in vain or not. It’s only a miracle the Commander found a way to nullify the consequences about to come your way. That’s why Levi better not raise your hackles bad or your brain will completely explode in front of him.

He ignores your sardonic jest and eyes the tray, primarily looking for the tea, if you brought one. You did. But he keeps his hands to himself for a while.

“It’s too early for dinner, and I could’ve gone to get my own food.” An exasperated sigh escapes your throat, hearing his argument.

“This is your late lunch, sir,” you inform candidly, taking him by surprise. True enough, you didn’t mean to be so observant, but you saw him skip lunch earlier before the raid. Heck, this isn’t even the first time he deliberately missed it. You know he’s still unwell and at a loss just as much as you are—maybe even worse, and that’s preventing him from taking care of himself.

Of course, he’s still your Captain whom you’re willing to serve, wholeheartedly, at that. Hence, you’re going to take care of him if he’s not doing it himself, whether he likes it or not. If even this guy leaves you, then you’ll probably arrive at the end of your wits.

With an exasperated sigh, you set his meal on top of the nightstand right beside his bed. “Are you enjoying being a useless Captain?” you cross your arms and quiz, having enough of his prideful attempts for rejection.

“Tch, you know full well I’m not,” he answers and averts his glance, looking outside the window and the dimming skies.

“Then eat your food and stop complaining,” you lastly command, real bossy and assertive that he’s on the brink of cocking a brow in question.

He falls silent. You were right, he won’t get any better if he continues to mistreat himself. Besides, it’s already you who went out of your way to prepare him food, he shouldn’t just let that go to waste. Finally giving in, Levi first grabs the teacup by its mouth and takes a sip, nose immediately scrunching in repulsion upon tasting the beverage. You might be trying to poison him, after all.

“This tea is shit.”

“I said stop complaining.”

—

A whole different wave of hurdles and complications just got overcome after the wall breach alarm got deemed false, and three new intelligent titans were revealed. Seeming as though those weren’t even enough, humanity’s key weapon got kidnapped as well. Naturally, a rescue operation was deployed to action, losing a ton more soldiers in the process.

Everything is starting to become overwhelming, you’re both physically and mentally exhausted, and emotionally. Everything is beginning to feel like a pain in the neck, as if the Scout Regiment didn’t have that way from the start.

It’s actually just as you guessed. When you went outside without a full functioning team and a Captain to follow orders from, you felt lost and misplaced. The novel experience was depressing, to say the least, moving forward without the ones you’ve fought side by side with through the years.

You can’t help but find yourself looking for a familiarity, a middle ground of the sort. Feeling like a storm is building up inside you for trying to suppress your problems all by yourself.

On the low spirited trip back, you eventually realize you needed someone. And who else is there aside from him?

You ride your horse back to the walls, aching for his presence. Anything that has to do with him, you want to see and feel.

It’s almost like vexing decades have passed when you arrive and return to the headquarters. You hop off your horse, movements slow and back hunched, aura visibly despondent.

Your half lidded eyes desperately scan the fields to search for that one person, comforting satisfaction taking over your entire body as you find him standing a few meters away from your form.

Funnily enough, he was waiting for you just the same.

Levi couldn’t decipher what shitty smile you tried to give him, it was only plain pitiful in his eyes that his guts are telling him to walk over to you and give you a welcome. He didn’t have to do it, though.

Because maybe you did the first step. Maybe you took big strides or maybe you eagerly ran to his figure to feel his warmth against your body. But nothing else matters when you reach out both your trembling arms to him, now wrapped around his sturdy body, locking him in an embrace you never thought you’d feel your whole life.

You slowly descend to a sobbing mess, completely abandoning the idea of you looking like a mere crybaby in his eyes. He’ll surely bring this up some other time, but damn that. All you know is that you needed this, badly.

It’s shameful, being fully aware that you’re slowly eating your words. Whenever you think of how you put the tiny distance between you and him, you just want to slap your palm across your face. In reality, he isn’t so bad.

You want to thank him for letting you free yourself and let it all out, but your awfully shaky sobs are hindering you from doing so.

Levi senses your exhaustion, and a whole other variety of intense emotions. You’ve been keeping some burden to yourself, too. It’s amusing to him in a way that you’re both similar in a lot of things. Especially in the bad habit of bottling oneself up, assuming it’d do any better.

Deep down, he’s glad you let loose and opened your walls to him. He cares for you, after all.

As you weep against his chest, lungs stuttering and eyes turning bloodshot, Levi allows his hand to pat your back, lightly stroking it to make you calm down.

It is, indeed, wordlessly reassuring, telling you that he was there. You never imagined that of all people, he had the ability to offer the exact solace you’re looking for, just with the simple gesture.

For once, he lets it slide that you’re all bloody, sweaty, dirty, filthy—name it—when making contact with him. He just doesn’t know that needed this as well. In fact, the entire time you were away, his foot mindlessly tapped in full expectancy of your arrival, waiting with bated breath. Not like he’ll admit that.

“Don’t you dare speak,” you threaten amidst your shaky hiccups, and he almost finds it amusing how you can still manage to act so tough in front of him when you’re already breaking down against him.

He secretly heaves out a sigh, the expression of relief escaping your ears, “Brat.”

Both of you stand there underneath the twilight to dusk horizon, ignoring how some of your subordinates watch you in shock, or how you’re not halfway the trouble yet, still utterly clueless of what lies ahead. Because right now, you were still together. You had each other, someone to lean on in this wretched mess.

Without the two of you knowing precisely why, both your hearts feel a tad bit alive.

[miss-kittys-magical-library]

In The Air Tonight

From The MoonBrella Academy

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: sex (penatrative, m/f), erotic asphyxiation, death, angst, PTSD, mentions of war, magic, general Klaus-induced chaos. GIF by @sheehanspam

A/N: During the summer of 1974, The Kostas family feels more than the oppressive weight heat. A true prophecy warns them something is on the horizon. Something that will set the course for the rest of their lives all thanks to the man out of time and a baby they promised to raise.

Honey found her balance after straddling Leon. Her hips rolled in a steady rhythm of back and forth. Her husband reached up to caress her breasts. She seized his wrists so tight, her manicured nails dug into her own palms.

Leon, switching gears, grabbed at them roughly instead. He pinched one of Honey’s nipples swollen then the other. They were lost perfectly in his grip as he massaged them, played with them as Honey rode him. He growled and she cried out before moving his hand towards her mouth to suck and bite at Leon's finger and thumb.

They were like a couple possessed. There was something in the air like static. Manhattan was the hottest Honey had known it to be. Everyone drifted slowly and drenched in sweat on the streets and in her apartment. It had been quiet during the worst of the heat. Only Diego and Klaus dained to still visit.

Earlier in the evening, up on the roof with their feet solidly in a wading pool, Leon and Honey sensed Klaus was uneasy about everything. He complained that the temperatures and the electricity in the air was suffocating him. Making his skin crawl as he stripped to his underwear. Everyone was in stages of undress, even the littles were naked and Honey topless.

“It's like Vietnam. The humidity is cellular. I feel strange and twisted.”

“Murderous, but fancy a good shag?” Leon’s query settled across the roof. “Like you could kill who you..” he mouthed fuck.

Two sets of verdant eyes gawked at Honey who suddenly sat up and covered her breasts. “Knock it off, the both of you. You're creeping me out.”

Somehow they made it through dinner and bedtime and MASH and Carol Burnett before Leon threw Honey over his shoulder. She squealed and mimicked trying to escape, but it only spurned Leon into grabbing a fistful of her ass. He maneuvered her around so she could wrap her arms and legs around him while they lumbered and kissed and undressed towards the bedrooms.

“Shhh,” Honey admonished with a strangled laugh. She pointed at the doorway to Sugar and Sunny’s room.

Klaus had passed out on the floor between the tiny beds, his head in his arms on his stomach. Sunny half poured out of the bed with a hand on his.. uncle? Brother? Klaus’s head, little fingers tangled up as he sucked on his free thumb.

Now here they were maybe hours later, insatiable. The air was stifling and had a magnetic crackle that raised the hair on their bodies as they kept having sex. Honey pushed it out of her mind that metal objects were slowly shifting in one direction as she placed Leon's hand around her throat. Her body rocked up and down faster.

There was a blue tinge to the sky and lightning. Heat lightning Leon insisted. It set Klaus on edge with the kids playing around him. He and Sunny tested out telekinesis while Selina danced to David Bowie. Her dark eyes were covered by Klaus’s literal rose colored glasses. He kept zoning out. Like he was waiting, waiting for the consequences of all of his actions.

“Tio Topolino, watch me!” Selina spun with her arms up in the air. Uncle Mouse. Klaus had been too hard to say before she learned her parents’ native tongues.

“Something is coming, Gracie.”

“Why would you say that, Leonidas?”

They were whispering in Greek. The littles weren't quite ready for Greek yet, but Klaus was born fluent. So they spoke in hushed tones on the fire escape.

“Doesn't it feel that way? The last few Weeks. Klaus usually leaves after a day. He's been here for nearly two months. There's bound to be repercussions, right?”

“Not much happened that he's said, or we read, as the result of Vietnam or 1960-1963.”

Leon rolled his eyes at his wife and made a tsk sound, “Just a bloody apocalypse or two. That Dickensian fuck who raised him got a whole new legion off it. Klaus talked you into having our baby. Then into taking another baby he stole. Skip a stone on a pond, and it makes ripples, don’t it?”

Honey hated when her husband was right. And her vagina loved how smart he was. She had looked in the window in time to see Sunny stand and toddle towards Klaus. His eyes glossed over and lost their irises. It was as if he had gone blind.

The parents scrambled through the window towards their son, but Klaus had him by the tiny hands. Sunny's pudgy fingers curled around his.. The larger ones for stability.

“Sunny?!” Selina shook her baby brother lightly.

“Klaus what the fuck? HELP HI-!” Honey yelled but Leon clamped a hand over her mouth.

“He’ll be ok,” Klaus sort of cooed. His voice was low and gentle. “I remember these. It happened so much when I was a kid. It's the innocence I think. I lost this ability because of Reginald.”

“He's in a trance, love. Like in all those movies with seances where the medium goes wonky, and they've got a message from the other side.” .

Everyone held their breath. Then a delighted shout came from the boy. “BIRB!! BEN!!” Then his eyes came back into focus; he threw his arms around Klaus’s neck. As if that was what he planned the entire time.

“Ben?!” Two men with the same face asked simultaneously. “That's my brother.”

“That was your brother’s name?” Klaus spoke first. “Maybe that's where I got it. When Mom asked us to choose our names based on our birth countries, I thought Germany was mine. My brother was Korean, but he couldn't settle on a name. Ben came to my mind. It felt.. familiar.”

Leon walked over to his kids and his twin, or clone, or whatever Klaus was, and picked Sunny up. The toddler stuck his thumb in his mouth and flexed and unflexed his little chubby fingers in his daddy’s long curls.

The matching mess of hair covered Leon's neck and chin as Sunny laid his tiny head down on the elder’s shoulder. The little yawned as his hand now absently stroked Leon's goatee.

“He died in Cyprus. He fought for Britain against our own people. He defected and was killed,” Leon said so casually. “He was 20. I was 16. It was really bloody difficult being an immigrant. A refugee. We left Greece during the Independence War when I was a year old. There's so much death, mate. All around us. I'm just really so sorry you and Nicklaus have to see it up close. I hope here, with Honey and I, they're a bit friendlier.”

Klaus had offered to conjure Leon's brother. His Benjamin. Leon declined. One day, maybe, but 15 years still wasn't enough time. That The Séance had likewise lost his brother in battle at the same age was empathetic enough.

Everyone was a bit melancholy, the air more humid with a spark, Klaus offered to get the littles to bed. Asked if he could crash in their room tonight instead of on the couch. The couple didn't mind.

Really, if Klaus could somehow, they both preferred he just stay here permanently. Honey could keep an eye on him that way. She and Leon knew Klaus had to go back and forth, maintaining his own timeline.

Except the last time he came was two years after he smuggled Sunny to his parents. He promised five minutes. This time it had been over a year. The Kostases were worried the next time he showed up, it would be the 80s. Or they would be old, their kids in their forties.

It was a silent agreement between Leon and Honey that they liked Klaus being around. “But what’s the price WE end up paying?”

Now there they were in the throes of it all. Honey encouraged Leon to tighten his grip around her neck as she scratched at his forearm. Their bodies gyrating in ways they hadn't in years. Not since before Selina. As if they couldn't fuck each other harder or faster.

Honey started to see black spots on the corners of her eyes. She relished in the struggle to breathe. Looking down, the blue tinted midnight sky with its wild lightning reflected back at her through Leon's eyes. He looked deliberate, livid. She knew she looked barking mad to him.

Honey tore at her tits and hair as she felt an orgasm coil around her sex and stomach. She was lightheaded and unable to scream out like always. She began to laugh as best she could like a woman possessed. Rode Leon through his explosion inside of her. She mentally willed it to get her pregnant.

Such a strange thing to wish for while Leon was killing her. Except he wasn't really, was he? Honey could feel herself pass out when there was a massive explosion in the sky over Manhattan.

Leon immediately let go of his wife. A blazing white light that blinded both of them filled the bedroom, and a squawking noise sounded from down the hall. Then yelling from Klaus lost somewhere in the present and possibly Vietnam. There was giggling and the patter of feet with more incoherent shouting and swearing from the littles’ room.

The bird noise only grew over the shouting, so Honey covered her ears to drown it all out. Leon looked stunned. Like he had woken from a terrible dream. That little girl laughter. The patter of feet running down the hall. The yelling and squawking all stopped. Cut off, as if the couple had fallen deaf.

“Mummy!” Selina exclaimed delightedly. It would be strange to Honey that her daughter had developed an accent like Leon's. Except that's who she spent most of her days with. Eventually Selina grew out of it, and Little Italy would take over.

“Can we keep him?! Are you and Papa playing?”

Honey knew Selina’s little head would be tilted. Little forehead wrinkled as it gathered between her eyebrows, tiny pink mouth slightly agape. How Honey loved finding more of Leon in her daughter every day.

“Keep what, Poppet?” Leon asked while helping Honey slide off of his lap. They weren't being modest, she just clearly was coming down from an adrenaline rush.

“This!” Selina held something large and black aloft. That squawking sound again.

Her parents froze. Selina held a raven nearly the size of Sunny in front of herself. It blinked its bright ebony eyes a few times, but was rather calm for being squeezed by a 5 year old. It, he. They knew it was a he. There was even affection on his face.

“Blimey love, whatcha got there?” Leon dared to ask. He was more fascinated than scared. The corvid set Honey’s hair on end.

“It’s Ben, Daddy!” Selina made a tsk noise and rolled her eyes. Little female Leon. “Sunny told us he was coming! The sky was filled with blue people, and Topo was scared. And Sunny’s little hands were blue and Topo’s were too and then Sunny started to fly. He's on the inside roof! Is he Mary Poppins?!” Selina could barely breathe, she was so excited.

“Those blue people are sad and Topo saw one and started to cry. That blue people is Dave. Then the bird came,” she held him out again towards her parents, “and he started making noises at all the blue people and they went away except three and Topo won't stop crying and Sunny is giggling. I'm tired. Can I sleep with you?”

As calm as they could muster, Honey and Leon got out of bed and put on clothes. Leon scooped up Selina who held the raven like a baby. Her dad ignored it. They made their way to the second bedroom where a blue light emanated into the hallway.

Like Sugar said, Klaus was on his knees crying into his hands. Sunny bobbed along the ceiling. He pushed off of it and bounced back up. The little boy’s laughter was a creepy juxtaposition to his older self gently weeping on the floor.

Honey knew. Leon knew. The “blue people” were ghosts. All of that static, that violence and heat in the air the last few weeks were the dead. Crackling and surfacing, begging to break through now that TWO mediums were together. It was, they immediately understood, Klaus’s sheer willpower that had held them at bay. But he was vulnerable, lost vigilance. They all broke through at once.

“Fuck me,” Leon managed at one of two soldiers. He was taller than Leon, but no mistaking his best of curls and angular jaw. Honey knew in life he had dark eyes. “Βενιᾱμῑ́ν?” Benjamin?

Dave, the woman knew, had been Klaus’s lover in Vietnam. He died saving Klaus and their regiment on the front line.

Except Honey could tell that wasn't true. The Commission had him killed to fix the timeline. They were different, not governed by violence more like stern warnings. As if parents instead of a dictator ran them now. When would they come to scold her family?

Lost in her worry, Honey didn't see the third man. The melancholic one with a cigarette perched in his fingers. He wore a giant suit jacket and equally large pants. There was a transparent tumbler of whiskey in his other hand.

This one, this ghost opened his mouth. At the same time Klaus sat up, his head cocked. Then he spoke, and a voice Honey hadn't heard in ten years came out.

“Hiya, Gracie.”

Honey began to weep. “Uncle Lenny.” She hid herself away so he wouldn't see the tears.

“Aw c’mon dollface. It's ok. I'm ok. I'm not ruining my life anymore. I do miss the stage. And Kitty. Tell Kitty I love her, will ya? And Honey, my Honey. That Kindergarten hooker. Spiteful bitch. I miss them. Proud of you, Gracie. We gotta go, ok. The three of us got wrapped up in all that jazz. By the way, cute little fuckers ya got there.”

Lenny tipped his head at Honey and Leon. Then he was gone. They were all gone. Everyone left behind in their wake to cry harder. To mourn in disbelief. Then giggling brought them all to.

Sunny floated down enough for Klaus to catch him by the ankle. He held the little boy to his chest, and Sunny patted him on the cheek. His hands weren't glowing anymore as he shoved a thumb in his mouth. Then, delighted, he gave a shout in the direction of the raven:

“BIRB!!”

@neuroticpuppy @nightmonsters @magic-multicolored-miracle @forenschik @super-unpredictable98 @ghouls-buddy @vonkimmeren @messengeronthemoon @frogs--are--bitches @bisexualnathanyoung @elliethesuperfruitlover @070188 @firstpersonnarrator @rob-private @duck-noises @sylvertyger

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)