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notnctu · 4 years

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push & pull | kim doyoung

❀ slytherin!doyoung x hufflepuff!femreader ❀ genre - SLOW BURN, smut, fluff, a bit of humor (idk not rlly) ❀ details - hogwarts!au, fwb to lovers?, y/n is a player lol, jealous doyoung, mutual pining, doyoung is a lil mean ❀ word count - 9.7k ❀ warnings - explicit language, possessiveness (a concept of marking), dom!doyoung, angry sex?, slight dirty talk, penetration, fingering, praise kink ❀ synopsis - in which a prideful slytherin and an oblivious hufflepuff play a clueless emotion game of tug of war.

❝I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?❞

❝People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you pursue me?❞ ❀ a/n - i changed the plot a little bit as i was writing lol but hopefully it still fits everything! i said this in the teaser, but i want to preface and say that the magic/marking is not canon to harry potter, and that the only thing im using are the sectional houses/subjects. besides that, everything is made up LMAO also pls b lenient with me, i read hogwarts!au but writing it is very out of my comfort zone and am very bad at creating anything magical

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Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, mindlessly and imperfectly steals glances your way across the dining tables and under several hundred floating lit candles. He sits huddled with his few posh friends that wear the same green and silver tie situated so tightly underneath their necks. And you, just looking as dazzling as ever, with your yellow and black tie hanging loose and a few buttons undone from your dress shirt.

He hates how easily you catch his attention and his ability to spot your figure in a dense crowd. You barely even look his way in public now, often distracted by a broad Gryffindor that tries to make flirtatious advantages at you. And when he thinks it can’t get any worse, it does… as you’re flashing your bright beautiful smile back at him and the shift in your body language.

“You’re staring again.” Yuta flickers between his friend and the subject of his focus.

Doyoung clears his throat, smooths his tie and physically turns his body away from the horrendous scene. “It’s very hard not to stare when she’s flirting with other men in front of me.”

“Does she do it on purpose?” The silver haired boy raises a questionable eyebrow and Doyoung reacts before he can speak.

He perks up and narrows his eyes at Yuta. “Purpose? Like to make me jealous?” Doyoung scoffs, laughs almost at the ridiculous thought. “The answer is no. We’re not exclusive, we’re nothing.”

“If you two are nothing, then why are you acting like you two are something? Get a grip, it’s practically sickening watching you fume over a ditzy Hufflepuff.” As Yuta prepares to bite into his delicious soft bread roll, it flies out of his grip, down the long table and onto another person’s plate.

Both boys are quick to stand to their feet and face each other chest to chest. Neither one of them is intimidated by the other, but their other friends around them are rather shocked by the sudden discrepancy.

Doyoung forcibly brushes off an imaginary dust off his good friend’s shoulders and draws a perfectly strained fake smile, knowing that others may be watching and he is a Prefect after all. But most importantly, you could be watching. “Call her that again, and your dinner won’t be the only thing that’s thrown across the table.” His threat is loud enough solely for Yuta to hear.

Yuta, with glaring eyes, picks up his dinner tray and walks off with his chin held high and a brisk in his stride. Doyoung clears his throat in the midst of the brief silence and out of habit, fixes his tie back in place. He takes a seat back down and the chatter at the table resumes, but he’s beyond embarrassed and disappointed at his loss of temper that everything drowns out.

Almost everything. He feels a light tap on his shoulder and out of annoyance, he spins around hastily and sharply snarls, “what?” But his eyes land on your fearful wide eyes and the slight cower in your stance, knowing that you caught onto his bad mood. And he’s half in disbelief that you’re approaching him right in the center of the Great Hall, that you’re standing so beautiful a foot away from him.

Instant regret and guilt fills his chest, his sharp eyes soften at your pout and the concerned furrow in between your brows. Nonetheless, he doesn’t have any words to say… he can’t get himself to apologize for his behavior.

“Do you want to walk to Herbology with me?” The quiver in your voice made you seem so small, so desperate for him, that he can hear the reactions of his friends. They’re laughing, at him, at you, at the whole scene that’s unfolding. He feels mocked, being a laughing stock isn’t something he’s very fond of.

His lips form a tight line, and in a snarky tone, “you don’t know your own way, Puff? Mind you ask your own Prefect to guide you.” Fuck. He tried to find the nicest way possible to brush you off, but his friends laugh a bit louder and intensely. And you didn’t like that one bit.

Your lips part slightly in a frown, an eyebrow raised and a hand on your hip. You look as if you’re ready to attack him, to jinx him, to probably pinch at his skin. But he knows you, and you’d do none of the above. Instead, you say the one threat that causes his heart to sink into the pit of his stomach, “don’t talk to me in class.” You’re slipping away from him as you pick up your pace, exiting all the commotion in the Great Hall.

He tries to hide the disappointment that stems from his chest, and his heart beats with an inexplicable dull pain. All he can think about is the twist of your expression and he’s gathering his things rather quickly to follow after you, without even a bid goodbye to his clique.

Without any knowledge of what you two do behind closed doors and the complex history that you two share, one may view your relationship as practically nonexistent; you two are strangers, barely passing acquaintances.

Doyoung does not approach you in the halls, in anywhere that necessarily has many witnesses. You smile at him, maybe even a wave depending on your mood, but no one questions it … as you wave at almost everyone who passes by you.

Classmates might see interaction during the one class you two share, if they pay attention close enough. However, you and Doyoung are much more to each other than passing acquaintances. Although he’s starting to see himself as another name on your list of individuals you sleep with, you are much more to him than you could ever know.

He’ll never forget the first time you two met. He was patrolling the halls for anyone lurking past curfew with his nose dug deep in his heavy book on magical creatures, when you walked right into him and caused the both of you to fall to the granite.

He was beyond ready to dock off points for whoever the rule breaker may be, but you took his breath away when you hovered above him and clasped your palm over his mouth before he can scold anyone. You looked a bit frazzled as your hair was all over the place and he noticed your minimal amount of clothing in the middle of a cold winter night.

He saw the signature Hufflepuff badge on your thin sweater and the sound of your voice completely threw him off his tracks.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper at the stunned Prefect underneath you, whose body feels warm against your own. But your eyes remain frantically on the lookout for anyone else passing, despite the lack of light in the cobblestone hallway. You most definitely do not belong in this wing of the castle and knocking down a Prefect caused more of a problem in your escape route.

Quickly standing up, you lend your hand out for him to take. His long fingers accept your hold as he pulls himself up and dusts the dirt off his robe. His green emblem glows in the dim light and you’re internally screaming at the mess you just made for yourself. But you recognize his features: the sharpness in his eyes, the small curves of the corners of his lips, his neatly parted black hair.

“You’re in some deep---”

“---Kim Doyoung.” The boy freezes at the sound of his name and he blinks at you, curious as to where you know of him. Being a Prefect has its small perks of popularity, but he didn’t expect for it to go this far. “Y/N, we had brooms together.”

As he repeats your name and examines your pretty features, a light bulb goes off in his head. “The clumsy Hufflepuff that fell off her broom in the highest altitude?”

“If that’s how you remember me by.” You smile proudly, and he scoffs at how someone could possibly hold pride in something so silly. “It’s nice to see you around, you’re a Prefect! Wow! That’s incredible.”

“And you’re still as clumsy as you were a year ago. Falling all over the place.”

“Unfortunately, some things don’t change! But you certainly have.” Doyoung looks at you with hooded eyes and a cautious gaze, but you’re so outlandishly bold despite swaying with your hands behind your back. “Please, don’t take that the wrong way. I meant it as a compliment! I used to have a tiny crush on you, baseless, but you helped me catch my broomstick and I’ll never be able to forget that.”

Doyoung, unknowingly, lights up at your shameless confession and takes another good look at you. You're much more mature now, and if he stared into your alluring gaze any longer, he’d be completely mesmerized without the need of a love potion. “So you liked me over a meaningless chivalrous act?”

“I liked you because you were charming and yes, perhaps I am someone who finds attractiveness in men who are chivalrous. There’s nothing wrong with that.” You bat your sweet eyelashes at him so endearingly, and he’s a blushing mess all over the place.

Doyoung has had anonymous love letters passed on from his friends, but they were all Slytherins who yearned greedily to be associated with his status. So knowing that a Hufflepuff, with an innocent youthful approach to love, festered some form of infatuation with him does flatter him quite well. “I’ll let you go.”

You’re about to exhale an exasperated sigh of relief until Doyoung continues, “under one condition.”

“Okay, I’ll do anything.” Your gleaming eyes sparkle like stars paired with the night sky.

He rolls his eyes at you, “don’t be so quick to jump at conditions without hearing them first.” Doyoung groans and you passively brush off his comment.

“If it’s harmless, I’ll do it.”

And in the dead of the night, where only you two stand in the middle of an empty cobblestone hallway, Doyoung requests, “I want to see you again.”

Although that night marked the beginning of your friendship, public interactions were still scarce and this was mainly on the fault of Doyoung. The times you met were late nights past curfew where he was stationed at and he grew to enjoy your wondrous personality. This boy grew up in a Slytherin bubble his whole life, no one outside of his house ever dared approached him … at least, not with the warmest smile as yours.

You were everything he was not, but he liked it so much. You were a half that completed his whole, and there were growing pains he couldn’t confide in anyone else. Surprisingly, you knew his imperfections more than he did himself and yet, you still wanted to be around him to encourage him. Not to mention, you had a sudden growth in other parts of your body and formed into your features very beautifully.

He wasn’t the only one who noticed, as there were more male counterparts who smiled at you, talked about you, fawned over you. And he felt something heighten inside of him along with his existing romantic feelings, and that he began seeing you in a new light.

With you experiencing new things, like hand holding and being showered by love letters on Valentine’s Day, it was wrong of him to fester such envy over the ones who publicly adorned you. He was so blinded by his hot headed rage that he completely missed the fact that you never accepted anyone who confessed, maybe the hand holding, but everyone else was a complete rejection.

All this time, you had been waiting for him and when you two shared your first kiss together, you had an assumption that Doyoung was going to finally confess that he felt the same way. But he never did. You two did, however, further your relationship into something more intimate and taking each other’s virginities opened a whole pathway of possibilities --- none being one where you two end up officially together.

He was the first to sleep with someone else, that was his first of many mistakes that he was going to make in his relationship with you. It also became the drop of the needle for you to start seeing other people as well, to explore what Doyoung couldn’t offer, to rid yourself of the feelings you had for a boy that didn’t seem like he wanted anything more.

Chivalry was dead and Doyoung believed that the innocent youthful Hufflepuff love had disappeared from within you.

As his present day runs after you, you’re abruptly stopped by a Ravenclaw for a small chat. Damn you Hufflepuffs for being friendly and social. So, he rushes past the two of you and into the classroom to await for your arrival. The quick shade of green flashes by your side and you’re fuming incredibly at how Doyoung continues to play you like a harp.

When you slide into your assigned seat next to him, he goes off like a canon. Doyoung starts spewing backhanded excuses and endless shameless rambles about his behavior. “I told you. Don’t talk to me during class or I will jinx you. Won’t be able to talk with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.”

“You’re not going to jinx me.” With a subtle flick of his wrist, your chair is pulled closer to his. “And if you were to do so, you wouldn’t do something so cynical.” Yelping at the abrupt usage of his magic, you’re irritably pressing your ink into your journal with a newfound annoyance.

“You’re right. I’d turn you into a duck, so at least, you’re still cute to look at.” The mindless scribbles on the paper make no sense in your head, as you’re primarily zoned in on the disrupted energy you have about your Slytherin companion. These ill feelings make you almost sick, wanting to shut out any bad replay of the moments before and forgetting about the attention you seek so much from Doyoung.

“For you to successfully cast a jinx on me, you must make eye contact first.” His finger lifts your chin and you’re eye to eye with his lustful dark stare. Doyoung licks his lips, a shine shimmers from his saliva, and he’s tempted to bring you into his chambers for an intimacy he’s been craving. “My, oh my. You’re looking very charmed today.” A grin curves up and taunts you, and you’re blinking away down at the table.

“Doyoung, we’re in class. Please, focus.” Your desperate whisper turns into a whine once his cold hand slyly smooths over your bare knee.

“Are you free later tonight?” Doyoung peers over at your side profile and your skin feels soft at his fingertips. He’s imagining your intoxicating scent mixing with his sheets, your light playful kisses along his neck, and gripping onto every naked part of you. For a whole minute, he’s forgotten that he’s in class with other no name individuals and a boring professor. He has tunnel vision whenever he’s with you.

“I have an arrangement.” The grip on your knee tightens at your quiet answer. An arrangement.

“The Gryffindor who had leafy greens in between his teeth?” Doyoung treads lightly, because you’re both well aware he’s made harsher insults than that. He retrieves his hand and picks up his pen as if he’s never touched you.

He sees your head shake out of the corner of his eye, you’re rolling your lips together sheepishly. There’s something odd about your stance and he’s growing a bit more curious…. A bit more spiteful at how closed off you are being. There’s something you’re hiding from him. “Then, who?”

“Is there something you’d like to discuss with the class, Mr. Kim? If not, I’d like for everyone to head over to the greenhouse.” As the class slightly snickers and the classroom empties, you and Doyoung are stopped by your professor.

Professor Sprout, wearing her worn out Dragon hide gloves and a thin lined smile, shoves a potted plant into Doyoung’s hands, “behave, you two. Your conversations are never very secret when spoken aloud.” She gives both of you a warning before proceeding out along with the rest of the class.

Doyoung scoffs at the absurd encounter and rolls his eyes. “Ah, you’re getting me in trouble with you now.”

“I’m sorry, Doyoung. It’s better that you don’t know.” You say this every time, when will you realize that keeping your hookups a secret only causes him more agony? He catches your wrist as you both exit the corridors, he barely ever has you alone now. And to say the least, he fucking misses you.

“Spare me some of your time after class.” He’s disgusted by himself, knowing that his eyes are begging for you to say yes. Him, a highly admired Slytherin, has settled for scraps and if anyone knew, they’d never let him live.

Your hand gently clasps over his and when you look up with your starry eyes, something inside him feels at peace. “Did you miss me?” He gulps at your question and blinks at you like a deer in headlights. If said by anyone else, he would not hesitate to snap his fingers into a malicious spell. But you ask the million dollar question so sweetly, there’s no taunt… there’s no mockery in your tone. It’s full of genuine curiosity.

So, he answers you with part of his heart that you know too well. “Unfortunately.” His body falls slightly in defeat, and suddenly the potted plant is alive in his hands. It’s wailing a dangerous and annoying loud cry, completely ruining the moment.

Doyoung quizzically ponders the monstrous green plant and its magical capabilities puzzle him, possibly reminding him to pay more attention to the actual curriculum than on your unbuttoned shirt.

Moreover, your giggle surprisingly calms him in this stressful situation and you lightly pat his hand that’s still gripping your wrist. “I’m all yours after class.”

Taking the wretched plant, you hurry off toward the greenhouse to find someone to diffuse the crying creature. Doyoung laughs in disbelief at your comical animated figure running around with a pot over your head and shouting for any student to help you. So you’re not paying attention in class either?

Doyoung takes you to your favorite place, despite the rule that you’re not allowed access to it. The Prefect Bathroom remains spotlessly clean and fresh paired with an immediate scent of rosewater and wild honeysuckle. The white polished marble gleams prettily under the twinkling diamond chandeliers and you’re twirling enthusiastically in the center of the large undressing area.

He observes and smiles widely to himself at the sight of your happiness and cute giggles. It’s always a risk to have you use their bathroom, but he is always abusing his privilege to seek your enjoyment that he truly doesn’t care about anything else. Your morality has beaten him enough and he’s heard plenty about his wrongdoings, yet here you are… sweetly dancing in the one place that’s absolutely wrong. Perhaps, you two have rubbed off a little too much on one another.

“I can never get sick of this place.” As you plead to Doyoung to cast a bubble bath, you’re already stripping out of your skirt. He shields his eyes to give you some privacy and recites the charm to run hot dazzling water in the ginormous pool. A nice soothing bath is exactly what you two need after a stressful day playing in the dirt.

“This is your favorite place.” says Doyoung with a matter of fact edge to this tone.

“It’s my favorite place because I only get to come here with you.” You jump on his back and he hoists you up by your thighs. His heart skips a happy tune. “I refuse for you to tell me the password, even if you do wish for me to enjoy the simple pleasures of a bubble bath.”

“You and your right and wrongs.” With eager hands, you’re loosening his tie from around his neck. “You stripped so fast that you’re going to get a cold.”

“It’s going to get steamy really soon. Plus, I know you like me best without any clothes on.” Your hot breath tickles the shell of his ear and a blush scatters across Doyoung’s cheek. Button after button, his open shirt exposes his toned build. He sets you on the edge of the elevated step before the bath.

Doyoung smirks at your nakedness and your hot lustful expression. Leaning in until he’s practically breathing against your lips, he stares straight into your eyes. “My Puff knows me best.” And dives into you with all his soul. Fruitful drags of his lips along yours, his long tongue enters your mouth. His large hand carefully caresses your cheek to pull you further into the kiss, noses pressing into skin and with a desire to never part.

His heart swells lovingly, kissing you feels like the best thing in the world. There are no tricks, no spells, no recited charms, but you are more than magical. The same surge of energy runs through his veins, but unlike his impressive ability as a notable wizard, he can’t control it. You make him lose control. As meticulous and cautious as he is, you’re the first thing he doesn’t think through.

Your needy hands push off his dress shirt and he hurriedly unbuckles his belt. When you break the kiss, he automatically pouts and pulls you back in for one more lingering peck. “Are you going to scrub my back for me?” You smile, dragging him closer to the overflowing bathtub.

Large puffs of white bubbles spill from the rims and disappear with your every step. It reminds you of sea foam that washes upon the shore, with a floral fragrant that fills your lungs. “That’s quite an intimate gesture, but yes.”

After removing all his garments, he joins you in the large pool of glossy bubbles and the clouds of steam that rises from the water suffocates him warmly. He sits with his back against the wall and eyes unwavering on your alluring expression.

The bubbles do a great job at covering your breasts, but his sneaky hands snake under the water to grip them. Doyoung grabs a full tit and thumbs over your erect nipple, all while he holds the most sensual gaze with you. Slowly, you naturally end up in his hold and your wet back relaxes against his chest.

The beating of his heart is too loud and surely, you can feel the way it jumps out of his chest. Doyoung attaches his lips on your skin and as you’re melting at his harsh suckling. However, you perk up and snap out of your dazed arousal at the realization of his purposeful licks. “You’re trying to mark me?”

His hand continues to rub and twist your aching nipples. The sensation stimulating the growth of pleasure to sprout below and your mind to wander.

“Possibly.”

A lovers’ mark is the ultimate testament of mutual love. Engraving the skin with your beloved’s Patronus, wherever the giver chooses to mark. Love emblems are meant to be something sacred to the couple, a way to make someone completely untouchable to everyone else. Not only does the symbol glow with an iridescent shine whenever love is felt, it also numbs any romantic feelings for all others besides the partner.

Besides the use of possessiveness, it’s a beautiful way to discover one true love since the engraving of their Patronus shows up on the skin under the conditions that both individuals must be madly in love with one another. And if it doesn’t end up forming, the receiver is left with a bright, sparkling star hue in its place before fading away completely. If it does appear, it fades when both fall out of love.

“Doyoung--” His name falls from your lips as a moan and he’s running down to explore the beauty between your legs. “--can’t do that unless you actually want to commit to me.”

“I am committed to you.” The more your neck cranes off to the side and exposed to him, the more he wishes to etch the symbol of his love for everyone to see. A hand is hooked under your thigh to keep your legs spread open and you’re gasping at the slight pressure from the water.

“Romantically committed to me.” You remind him, but your train of thought is cut fairly short as Doyoung begins rubbing circles on your needy clit.

“You’re afraid of it showing up?” He’s lathering your breasts with bubbles and dragging his long finger along your slit. His greediness overtakes him and with wandering hands, he’s gripping every part of you that they can reach. Doyoung’s guilty pleasure is always going to any form of physical affection from you specifically. When he finally gets ahold of you, it’s hard for him to let go.

Your warm skin is delicate and smooth beneath the very tips of his fingers and every exploration of your terrain makes him feel inexplicable explosions of fondness. Perhaps, you’ve captivated him and although he believed it would take something as extreme as the Amortentia to have him falling for someone, you did it as easily as being yourself. His better half.

So, he’s impressed by your genuineness and how he’s willing to give up parts of his reputation to unapologetically be himself around you. No one else matters, nothing else matters, but why must it be so difficult to tell you that?

“I’m afraid of it not showing up.” You’re more than convinced that Doyoung has confused his strong sense of lust with love and there would be no possible way his Patronus would appear. It’s better to save the embarrassment for the both of you.

Spinning in his arms, the water twirls to the curves of your body and he’s admiring parts that expose above the surface. He’s matched with your beauty before him, resemblance to the stained glass window that situates above the large bathroom.

However, the doubt in your statement finally reaches his ears and he’s grabbing your ass as you settle over his thighs again. His furrowed eyebrows bring together a rather upset expression --- lip pout and all.

“Why wouldn’t it show up?” Doyoung puzzles, bringing your arms to wrap around his neck. Leaning into him, your pruney fingers trace his smooth chin and he notices your quick flicker between his eyes and his lips.

While your gentle kiss reassures him of your subtle endearment, your next words do the opposite. “You tell me.” All you do is push him away with your vague doubtfulness, like you’re constantly testing him and using his poor guessing skills to your own advantage. He can pull you close after any altercation he wants, but you push him away in any emotionally romantic sense.

“You’re rather mischievous and mysterious today,” Doyoung squeezes your ass and smacks it lightly, causing ripples in the water. “I liked it better when you told me everything you felt.”

Suddenly, his fingers poke at your entrance and his other hand drops in between your legs again. Your mouth opens in shock when his long fingers enter slowly and he enjoys the pleasurable contour of your reactions. “Like this, for example.” The pad of his fingers working rapid flicks against your sensitive bud. “How does this feel?” His whisper dances across your shoulder, landing a kiss at the end of his question.

Your moans echo in the lavish bathroom, bouncing off the marble walls and encouraging Doyoung to keep a steady pace. There’s no worry about how loud you may be, Doyoung charms every room before every lustful encounter. This allows you to let go, let free, let him know how he makes you feel.

He curves his fingers into you, pumping and dragging into your tightness until you’re practically screaming. He only has one thought, as his eyes trail down your intoxicated needy figure, how beautiful you are as a moaning mess under his control. Your head is thrown back, eyes are squeezed shut and opening them to see nothing but tiny yellow starlight.

Dainty kisses line your exposed neck line and his ego swells with so much pride. Doyoung has mastered every flick of his wrist to have you under his trance, spewing nonsensical words and forgetting anyone else that exists. He gives your erect nipples harsh licks and with a faint drag of teeth, the sensation pushes you to your end.

Sporadic pleasurable convulsions cause your legs to close around Doyoung’s hands, but the strength of his knee keeps them apart. “Doyoung… I’m going to free fall.”

Leave it up to you to beautifully announce your climax. He snickers, applying more pressure on your clit and a rubbing motion against your walls. “I’ll catch you.”

Moon crescents embed into his skin as you’re holding onto him with your whole life. As your scream hits every octave, the massive collection of bubbles that cover the surface of the bath fly and splatter every corner of the pristine room.

White and wet bubbles drip down from the walls, falling from the diamond chandeliers, and coating every steamy mirror. Doyoung’s eyes light up from the chaos, making sure you’re riding out your high for as long as he can provide.

Your body trembles with euphoria, falling forward into Doyoung’s chest and squeezing around his lazily pumping fingers. For a brief second, your mind is wiped and nothing in the world feels better than being in this perfect moment with the one person who’s Patronus you hoped would etch your skin.

If one possesses feelings that are practically unbearable to contain, one should confess… right? For all your life, you’ve lived by this statement. Friends do not hear the end of it and most surely, one should follow their own advice… right?

So why do you yearn for Doyoung in your gaze as he stands across the Great Hall as if he doesn’t know of your existence? As if he wasn’t kissing you in the Prefect bathroom a few days prior?

It’s not an understatement to say that you catch the attention of almost every person in the room, but the one head that refuses to turn your way… the one who’s looks you wish to steal… is the one person who looks right through you.

Feelings have become a nuisance ever since the first time you confessed to him and it was worse than landing on cobblestone after falling off your broom. The reason why you’ve buried them deeper than any chamber is that you’re positive that the prized Slytherin would rather be with another, preferably one from his own house.

While you try to remain optimistic and playful for the time being, you’re simply replaceable to him. He can barely care to acknowledge you in public when Gryffindors boast about you in their arms like winning a trophy. You’ve kept good relations with every Ravenclaw you’ve slept with. You’ve kindly rejected every romantic gesture another Hufflepuff has offered.

But if there is one thing you’ve learned about him is that he’s lived in his Slytherin circle for as long as he lives. And it will stay that way. You’re his sweet Hufflepuff that he’ll push away at no cost, then pull you back in secrecy.

Now if one feels as if they’re wasting their time, one should leave… right? Wrong. Kim Doyoung has skewed with your morality… and your feelings remain loyal to him since the day he confessed to see you again.

“Lemon-drop, I’ve been looking all over for you.” An arm slings around your shoulders and the notable red and gold tie is the first thing you see. Jung Jaehyun, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, flashes his deep dimples at you. “Walk with me.”

He extends his palm out for you to take and your friends painfully elbow your sides to wake you from your hesitation. Taking his hand, you get up from the dining table and follow him out the Great Hall.

Doyoung sees the scene unfold before him and rolls his eyes at how Jaehyun’s dimples are all it takes to have you wandering off with him. Despite every wicked intent to follow you two, he heads out in the direction of the dormitories to fume in his room.

“It’s such a nice and sunny day today.” Jaehyun runs a hand through his luscious brown locks. You both exit into the front courtyard as other students are scattered on the lawns mingling with one another. When you peer up at the sky, the sun is barely seen past the layers of clouds.

“Jaehyun, is there something you needed to speak with me about?” His laughter roars, full of hefty song and amusement.

“Listen, lemon-drop. I like you and I have a feeling you feel the same way. I want to mark you if you’d let me.” Jaehyun smirks and just as he brings your hand up for a kiss, you gently let go. “Am I coming off too strong? We don’t have to do it today, I just wanted to see if it would show.”

“Jaehyun, you’re going to find an extravagant person one day. A person who is going to know all your favorite castle balconies to swing from and how you like to be kissed on the nose.” His ears grow a bright red and for once, his gaze drops to the ground. “I am, unfortunately, not that person for you so I must kindly reject your confession.”

As you turn on your toes, Jaehyun lightly holds your wrist to stop you. “But, you know all those things about me. Is there anything I can do to prove that we belong together?”

“I know them because I care enough to remember things you tell me, not because I loved you enough to observe these things about you. I give you my word that there is nothing you can do to prove me otherwise.” The corners of his lips dip downward and you’re running to the one person that will erase this sad rejection from your memory.

When you’re scanning the Great Hall for any sign of him, he’s not there and it leads you to his only hiding place. Doyoung loves to shut himself out from the rest of the school whenever he gets the chance. However, a lost Hufflepuff wandering outside the entrance of the Slytherin dormitories is rather an odd sight to see and you haven’t had the chance to form many connections from this house.

The sparse amount of Slytherins you know aren’t going to be passing by, unless with some stroke of luck, someone will be kind enough to open the door for you. Every person passes by you with questionable stares until a silver haired boy blinks at you with wide eyes.

“Who is it that you’re trying to see?” He asks abrasively, but softens his tone when he realizes that you mean no harm.

You bid him a small grin, “your Prefect.”

“And what for?”

“There is an urgent matter that involves him and he’s practically unreachable when he’s hiding away in his private room.” The boy narrows his eyes at you, but beckons you to follow him down to the Slytherin dungeon.

Excitedly, you hurry behind him and whisper over his shoulder, “what’s your name?”

“Nakamoto Yuta. No need to tell me yours, I’ll doubt he’d want me to know.” He spits and then, mutters the enchanted password to reveal the large green common room. “Come this way.” He leads up the boys’ dorms and walks briskly. Although you never mentioned a name, Yuta seems to already know who you’re here to see and it makes you wonder how he must know.

“Open up.” Yuta stops and knocks at the wooden door, Kim Doyoung written in a fancy penmanship on the center. “You have a guest.” He looks your way before rolling his eyes at Doyoung’s irritated tone through the other side.

“Tell them to leave.”

“He wants you to leave.” Yuta repeats, mostly to satisfy Doyoung’s nag.

“That’s fine. Thank you for bring---” The door swings open abruptly and Yuta almost loses his balance. Doyoung frantically turns his head side to side to comprehend what he is seeing. His ears felt deceived, hearing your voice through the door, he had to make sure it wasn’t you.

But you stand before him and Yuta. Here you are approaching him whenever he least expects it. “What are you doing here?”

“I came by to see you. I’ve been here plenty of times.”

“What are you doing bringing her in?” scolds Doyoung and the other boy shrugs carelessly.

“What was I supposed to do? Let her bat puppy eyes at several other Slytherins and have her telling everyone who passes her that she came here to see our Prefect? It was also getting cold out.” Yuta mumbles, but finds great entertainment at seeing how frazzled Doyoung has gotten by your presence.

“It was a bit chilly.” You admit and Doyoung groans, pulling you into his room and shutting the door on Yuta. “Thank you, Yuta.” You whisper through the crack between the door frame.

“It’s too risky for you to be searching for me around other Slytherins.” Doyoung paces the room and you notice his tie is loose and shirt is unbuttoned around his neck. “Why are you here?”

“A Gryffindor blew me off. I thought I’d come and see you with all the free time I can get.” Taking a seat at the end of his neatly made bed, your legs swing adorably and Doyoung almost doesn’t hear you.

“Jaehyun? Does he think he’s too good for you or something? That cocky dimple Gryffindor, with the draw of my wand---” Doyoung whips out his intricately customized Dragon Heartstring, and you’re on your feet to calm his temper down.

“Will you put that thing away? I’m here for you.” Your giggle warms his tight chest and puts out the fueling flame for anyone who dares to hurt you in any way. “It’s not a big deal and it’s not the first time it has happened.”

Doyoung uncomfortably clears his throat and withdraws his wand. Buttoning up his shirt, he fixes his tie back in place. To say the least, your words erupted his festering jealousy and this may have been a small tipping point.

Before you had entered, he was so frustrated with himself and you. You can just walk away with another man without a second thought, in front of him too. He remembered the soft feeling of your body and how he’s not the only one who’s needy hands ran their course over you. That may be the one pain he can never get rid of.

“I never understood why you give other men the time of your day when they just brush you off undeservingly.” He stings and you’re slightly surprised at his sudden attack. When you respond in silence, he continues.“I thought Hufflepuffs are to be loyal, so why do you sleep with other men?”

Crossing your arms, your weight is barred on your left leg and there is a shift in your overall mood. With an eyebrow raised, you sass him back, “People say Slytherins are ambitious, so why didn’t you chase after me?”

Doyoung swallows hard and blinks at you speechless. A clammy hand runs through his black strands as he tries to find any possible explanation without confessing his feelings. If he had a plan to confess, it would never be in the middle of an inquisition with you.

“I guess you didn’t think before acting on your desires.” And how he hated how correct that statement is. He doesn’t ever think whenever he’s around you. All his actions are conducted with his emotions and the feelings that overtake him.

Doyoung scoffs, rolling his eyes at your rash comment. “Aren’t you supposed to have the strongest morality among all the houses?”

“Sleeping with multiple men isn’t morally wrong. There’s nothing wrong with it…” The slight hurt from his question is difficult to ignore, but you must remember one thing if you want to protect your heart on your sleeve. This is nothing serious to be bickering over. You two aren’t anything serious, so why feel the need to squabble over nonsense? “... it would only be wrong if someone liked me and wished to commit to me.”

Your eyes meet and Doyoung blinks at you with wide eyes. His Adam’s Apple bobs as he gulps again, completely whiplashed at how the conversation has turned. “And if that’s the case and you like me, would that make you jealous, Doyoung? That’s why you’re trying to poorly attack my character?” He’s never heard such a strong taunt in your tone and he’s baffled by it, slightly aroused, but shocked.

“I don’t like you.” His voice is small and he pouts his lips at you. Doyoung crosses his arms and perhaps, his sad expression reveals a little more than it should have. Your heart softens at his ridiculously cute response, had you expected something much more angry and vindictive.

“Then this conversation is over, right? I’ll be on my way now. I have herbology.”

“We have the same class.” He grumbles, grabbing his robe from his desk chair.

You open the door to make your exit, “but since you don’t want to be seen with a Hufflepuff, I’ll go ahead first.” When you stumble out into the hallway, a recognizable face brightens at your appearance.

“Haechan! Hello, I haven’t seen you in a while.” You’re cheering and Doyoung chews the inside of his cheek. His pride is left at the door and along with all the things that hold him back from you, he doesn’t want to push you away anymore.

“My favorite Hufflepuff, are you just leaving?” Haechan walks up to open his arms, wishing to embrace you in the longest hug. However, Doyoung quickly takes you by your hand and rushes past him.

“She came to walk with me to class. Bye Haechan.” And Haechan is left standing in the middle of the hallway, confused and watching your backs as you’re both briskly walking out the common room.

Doyoung looks back at you, “you think I’m going to let you walk out of my room and have another Slytherin walk you to class? Don’t be so foolish.”

But you are foolish. Your heart beats foolishly and loudly for Kim Doyoung. And may you be foolish enough to wonder if his heart does the same for you.

And it does. Foolishly. Loudly. Lovingly.

You both wonder if this vicious cycle will ever meet its end. Doyoung pushes you away by ignoring your existing relationship, but pulls you back into his embrace as if it never happened. You push him away by running off with other men, but come back to him as if he’s the one person you’re loyal to.

But on this particular night, after mass circulation of rumors reaches the ears of the lovesick Slytherin, Doyoung is pulling you away from your huddled group of friends in the middle of the long corridor hallways. Without any greeting, any spoken words, he’s dragging you to his room right in front of everyone to see. His hand around yours like it was two days prior, but with an expression so grave on his sullen face.

The silence between you two brings no comfort, but you don’t dare say the first words. Doyoung, finally, approached you first in public and it is possibly for a greater reason. Perhaps you’ve done something horribly wrong, and the moment you two step into his room that you’ll hear a mouthful.

However when he closes the door to his room, your hand immediately drops from his embrace and he turns to face you. There is a darkness in his eyes, one that light cannot touch, and his lips are tight in a line.

There is an eerie silence that fills the dark room and the murky windows paint the area an ominous green. Doyoung focuses on your confused, yet adorable expression. “Why did you lie to me?”

The door catches your slight stumble and you’re blinking cluelessly at him. “About what?”

“Jaehyun.” He breathes the name in spite and aggressively loosens his tie. “He didn’t blow you off. You rejected him and he’s telling everyone it's because you’re in love with someone else.”

You scorn at such a ridiculous rumor and for the fact that it’s even made its way around to Doyoung. Another realization hits you. All it took for him to approach you in public is a meaningless rumor.

So in response, you laugh and it mocks him further. “This is not a laughing matter, y/n.”

“I’m sorry, but why are you so upset at that? Fine. I did lie to you, but I never told Jaehyun I was in love with anyone else.”

“Are you in love with someone else?” Doyoung says with balled fists at his side. There is a mixture of anger and sadness running through his veins and he’s so sick of feeling this way.

Your hesitation speaks for you, “It’s better that you don’t know.”

“You say this every time and it does nothing to ease my conscience.” Doyoung throws his hands in the air and stares at you with sharp eyes. “Is that why you were afraid that my emblem wouldn’t show up? Because your heart belongs to another. Yeah, I heard Jaehyun wanted to mark you too.”

Men and their constant want to prove something to themselves with their marks. Everyone has a twisted reality of markings now. There have been many others who have tried to mark you, feeling as if lust would be enough to suffice its appearance. As one's Patronus is special to their own protection, a beloved’s Patronus mark holds the same value.

You’re quite at a loss for words, “I was afraid that it wouldn’t show up, not because of myself, but because of you.”

Doyoung points at himself in disbelief. Him? He loves you more than anyone he’s ever encountered, even if you didn’t know it. “I wouldn’t have almost tried it if I wasn’t sure of myself.”

“You don’t love me, Doyoung. I don’t even know if I can even say you romantically like me.” Those words hurt the both of you and it lingers in the room for longer than you’d like.

“Do you think I fuck you meaninglessly like all those other losers you sleep with?” Doyoung steps forward, pulling you into his chest and admiring everything he’s fallen in love with. A pain spreads across his heart as he thinks of you with another person, of someone else kissing you, of someone else making you happy.

“You really don’t feel it in the way I kiss you?” He asks once more and your own stare drops to his shoulder, a bit ashamed to maintain eye contact with such pained eyes.

“And if I did? How would you explain that? That you are actually in love with me?” Your questions pelt him like rocks. As he pushes you on his bed, you pull him down with his tie.

Doyoung drinks you up like fresh water, a crisp and refreshing love that encourages him to reach heights. His hand cups your face and his feather touches reminds you of his gentleness. Your lips taste like sweet honey, dripping and coating him with a sticky sugar.

He’s happier with you and he’s the happiest kissing you. Perhaps, it’s hard for him to express with words, but he’d always hope his actions speak louder. So, his lips press against yours with a whirl of passion and every good feeling that grows in his chest.

The collar of his shirt is wrinkled in your fist and you’re holding him as if you’re afraid of him letting go. Doyoung runs a hand down your torso and lifts the end of your skirt up. A warm hand pushes your legs apart and a finger presses your clit through your cotton panties.

Your mouth opens into a moan and he takes this opportunity to shove his long tongue inside, lapping with your own. As a wet spot forms on your panties, he pulls them to the side and gathers the slick to gently rub your erect clit. His name is lost and muffled in the kiss, but you tap at his chest.

When he breaks away and halts all movement, he looks down over you with a fire burning in his dark orbs. And a confession falls from his swollen lips, “may I mark you?”

“And if it doesn’t show up?” Though, you’re wishing to the most powerful wizards that it does or else your heart would shatter into a million pieces beyond repair.

He bites his lip and every possible outcome scatters his thoughts. It’s too hard to concentrate, so he doesn’t at all. He focuses on your pretty lips and the way you look at him like he’s the only person that matters. “Then, we’ll deal with the consequences later.”

With your quick nod, Doyoung attaches his lips to your neck and harshly sucks at your skin. For the most part, it’s a pleasurable feeling and sends a shiver down your spine. So, he licks and nibbles until he can barely breathe. Your faint scent of patchouli and ginger intoxicates him, wraps him up in a fuzzy coziness that is unmatched.

Your hands unbutton his shirt and a final gentle bite seals his mark. If the love is reciprocated, the emblem would take a moment to form. Doyoung is rather hopeful and excited, as he’s never seen his Patronus before. “You look beautiful.”

“And you look dazed as if someone charmed you.” You giggle and kiss his red lips.

“You’re quite the powerful one, my Puff.” He smiles against your jaw before proceeding to your mess down below. He gives your aching clit a few licks, which cause your body to twist and turn at the sensitive sensation.

“Please, I haven’t felt you in so long.” Whining and tugging at his hair, Doyoung leaves a lasting kiss and gets up to remove his pants.

“Did you miss me?” Doyoung raises a suggestive eyebrow and cocks his head to the side in mockery, a smirk growing on his face.

You reply with a silly response that only he knows and causes him to chuckle, “unfortunately.” And he’s finding every way not to confess his endearments for you.

His dick stands tall and proud against his abdomen, giving it a few jerks as he watches you strip out of your own clothes. You turn around and sit on your knees, with a slight tilt forward and the arch in your back to accentuate your ass.

Doyoung rolls on the protection as quickly as he can. His hands lightly smack your cheeks and slowly enters your dripping hole. His hands grip your hips as he slides deeper into you, both being moaning messes at the delicious feeling.

“Have you always been this big?” You look back at him and to which he devilishly smiles at you.

“You know just the way to fuel my ego,” when his length is fully buried inside of your tight walls, he wraps an arm around your waist and a hand on your tit. “After all the times you’ve been fucked, your pussy is still as tight as ever.”

Doyoung slams hard into you, showing no mercy and causing you to jolt up. He takes every frustration, every feeling of anger, every ounce of jealousy into his thrusts. “But you take me so well, darling. I’ve never seen someone as pretty as you.”

His compliments cause your heart to soar, despite the soreness you’re beginning to feel in your pussy. He’s relentless, bottoming out until his tip is practically in your guts. “Just like that, baby. You’re the only one who fucks me this good.”

He blushes under the low light and leans forward to kiss the top of your head. “My Puff, you’re so sweet to me.” The loud squelch of your tight pussy gripping his dick fills the hot room, “and so wet.”

You’re shamelessly dripping on his green velvet blanket and Doyoung picks up his speed. Your knees give out as you fall face forward into the mattress, hands in fists from the incredible pleasure of every hit. Your ass now in his full view and every tingle of magic lights up in his veins.

Your throat is raw from screaming and moaning, Doyoung holds your hips steady to thrust into a new angle. Automatically, your body twitches as his tip hits your special spot and he’s well aware that you’re close to releasing.

And with his fast thrusts, he asks you an intimate question that is fueled by envy and rage. “If I fuck you the best, then why do you sleep with other men?”

There are no thoughts in your mind to even give him a white lie, to mask the truth of your actions. He’s fucking you into an oblivion that it’s hard to even focus on anything besides pleasure. The books on his shelf begin to tremble as you’re crying out, “I- I don’t know! Fuck, please… ! I’m tipping over.”

“Answer the question or I will stop.” He’s absolutely cynical and you have every reason to believe his threat. Doyoung lifts your limp body upright, against his torso and an arm secured around your middle as before. His hand snakes to your clit, rubbing feathering circles over the neglected bud.

Nonetheless, his single action paired with his tip grazing harshly against the particular spot causes your legs to tremble. “Do you want me to stop?” His threat rings in your ears when you still left him without an answer.

You’re so close, you’re starting to see white. So, you say what your heart tells you and the truth falls from your lips in a loud confession. “Because I wanted you to love me instead! I fucked them to forget about my love for you… fuck, I’m--”

“I’ve got you. Let go of yourself, baby.” Doyoung slows his hips when your walls squeeze around him sporadically. Every book flies out and hits the opposite wall, clattering the floor with heavy academia. However, he repeats your proclamation endlessly in his mind and his heart surges with the most intense romantic desires.

“I do love you, y/n.” He whispers, cumming into his rubber and simply holding you tightly. He lets go of every prideful arrogance in his body, tossing the lame reputation he always tried to hold onto. He didn’t need that if it meant losing you. Doyoung chuckles to himself for being an obvious cliché, announcing one’s love in the midst of a lustful act. He pulls out and gently tucks you into the covers.

Breathless, you’re finally realizing his confession. “You do? Are you sure?” Any subtle movements has your aching lower half in pain, so you settle with resting on his plush pillows and await for him to join you in bed.

All this time, from beginning to now, you’ve been oblivious to his yearning looks across the Great Hall. The intensity of his kisses had been lost upon you completely as you had convinced yourself that he was incompatibly of loving you back. Even now, as you lay in slight doubt, you’re wondering how you managed to have everything fly over your head.

When he discards his used protection and with a quick flick of his wrist, every book finds its original place on the shelf again, he enters the warm covers. Your arms wrap around his neck and you’re admiring each other’s expressions in the low light. He spots the notable twinkle in your eyes and his thumb lightly rubs your cheek.

“If the symbol of my Patronus doesn’t show, I promise to love you harder until it does.” Doyoung leaves the softest, most loving kiss on your lips. He’s more than thankful for the lack of light as he’s bashfully red all over his cheeks.

“Usually, people just give up.” Your voice is harsh, possibly from the deafening screaming of pleasure prior.

Doyoung shakes his head. He’s made too many mistakes in this relationship with you. Sleeping with another. Ignoring your existence. Being too prideful to be seen with another house. All these incidents have made him feel nothing but ugliness and distraught, and pushed you away further than how much he is able to pull you back.

He loves you. He’s in love with you. He’s fallen for you recklessly as you did off your broom the first encounter. You’re everything he’s never been and never will be, yet you don’t care. You’re by his side, despite his spitefulness and you never miss a beat. That innocent youth approach to love, oh how he wishes it never faded, and though he thought it did, it didn’t. You remain true to your character when he fights with himself internally.

“That would be a mistake and I can’t afford to keep making them.” A glossy sheen over Doyoung’s regretful eyes, but you pull him closer and you refuse to let his eyes wander.

A tired harmless sigh escapes your lips and a dreamy haze overcomes you. Besides the reminder of needing to use the bathroom flashing in your mind, there is nothing else you want to dissect. Feelings are too complex to discuss at the moment and the resolve has already passed.

Regardless of the marks appearing, you’re content with the night and for the rest of your days. Kim Doyoung, the Slytherin boy of your dreams, loves you back and the power of that alone beats any spell in those dusty old textbooks.

“Why can’t we lay here forever?” Your heavy eyelids fall slowly and your voice grows small.

Doyoung kisses your shoulder, then your neck. “That’s impossible. I can’t give you forever.” He mumbles against your skin, sending vibrations across your throat.

“You are my forever.” Doyoung halts and is left speechless as a white glowing entity catches his eye. And the absolute perfect outline of his Patronus sits underneath your jaw, brightly shining with iridescent brilliance --- he makes out the outline: a White Swan, representing his love for you. Doyoung smiles to himself and hopes for it to never fade. Perhaps, he can give you forever.

some fun critical questions to think about hehe -

why do you think y/n lied to doyoung about jaehyun confessing? why do you think yuta helped y/n enter the Slytherin dormitories? what is the meaning behind the White Swan Patronus? Why do you think y/n continued to like doyoung after all this time?

there are no right or wrong answers, just something fun to have you thinking a little more about the fic haha if you want, you can send me an ask about it :) but overall, no pressure and thank you for reading! please leave me some feedback if you can! happy new year!

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kthyunngg · 7 years

Text

To Find

Member: Jin (ft. Yoongi)

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: Love. It’s a strange thing. It can either make you the happiest person in the world or the most miserable. You don’t know when it comes or when it goes. Sometimes it’s not returned and sometimes it is. We don’t know how to deal with it, but we still yearn for it.

A/N: I don’t really know what to say about this one. It’s...different :o I will warn you though, I got extremely sad while writing it. I hope you enjoy Xx

Love. What exactly is it? According to the dictionary, it is the intense feeling of deep attraction. To you, that definition is not enough. It’s too vague, too open ended. You could be extremely attracted to a celebrity, but that doesn’t mean you love them. What’s so special about love that your society has given all of you a time limit to find “the one?”

Every morning a system that’s built into your house will alert you, telling you how many more days you have to find your love. The clock will stop the moment that you realize that you truly love the person. If not, it keeps going. “To find” is both physically and emotionally as well.

The consequences if you don’t succeed in that time frame? It’s not death, but it’s comparable. They will take you away from society to go through series of treatments and therapies to try to find the “problem” as to why you couldn’t find your true love. It’s brutal. You’ve seen it happen to your neighbour. The clock just struck 7 PM and it was the last day for him. He still didn’t find the one and then people in grey suits approached his front door and quarantined his house. They drugged him and hooked him up to a machine to scan his brain and find the issue.

Why is this person not capable of loving?

Where did the hardwiring go wrong?

Is there a defect?

Everyone should be able to love.

It’s a cruel system and you never understood it. Why should a machine dictate who I love? Why should a system created by some sick person dictate when I should or shouldn’t feel love?

For your entire life, you’ve seen people fall apart because of the system you live in. Your friends were taken away because they couldn’t find their love and others were killed because they tried to escape the system. You would think that a countdown to finding the person you truly love is a good thing, but it’s really not. It’s a game of survival, a hunt. The number of days that you have is based off of pure luck. Some people have many days, others have only a few months. The clock starts once you hit the age of 18. For you, your days are still abundant. The thought of finding your one has never occurred to you. People around you constantly ask if you’ve found the one, when you’re planning to find him, if you want to find him and every time, you never answer them.

It’s sickening. Everyone has become so obsessed with beating the clock that they no longer focus on anything else. It feels as if you’re being suffocated everywhere you go because people are always trying to get to know you, to see if you’re their match.

Despite all this social torture, you’re glad that a few years ago, you came across someone who is also as down to earth as you. Someone who was not too fond with the system and could care less. His name is Jin. You guys met at one of those “social gatherings.” Your friends were trying to introduce you to new people, but you weren’t having any of it. As per usual, you ended up isolating yourself away from the rest of humanity, trying to enjoy the remainder of the night. Jin must have noticed you by yourself as he was the first to approach you. On your part, you feel a little guilty now because you were so rude to him at first, assuming that he was like every other guy and only wanted to get to know you for their own sake, but Jin wasn’t like that. He, like you, just wanted to get away from the whole scene.

From that day on, you and Jin became amazing friends. He was always there to cheer you up, talk to you about the weirdest of things, and you could truly be yourself. You didn’t have to worry about the clock or anything else when you were around him because you knew that he would stop any other guy from talking to you once he found out that they were only doing it for their own interest. Everything about Jin is genuine and that’s what you like about him.

You were in the middle of cleaning up your place when Jin called you.

“Hey Y/N. I’m free today, do you want to hang out?”

“Sure. I’ll come over to your place, just give me a few minutes to get ready.”

“Alright, see you soon!” You hang up and then rush to your room to get dressed. Since it’s the middle of the autumn season, you get dressed warmly and take some basic necessities with you.

As you’re heading off to Jin’s apartment, you notice how the leaves of the trees are all changed to a nice shade of orange and read. Autumn is taking its full form, not contaminated with green leaves here and there. You continue to admire the colours that have taken over your city as you walk down the sidewalk.

“Aish, watch where you’re going.” You hear someone hiss as you feel something hard against your shoulder. You come back to your senses and notice all the clutter on the floor. Then you look up and see a man with an annoyed expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t look where I was going.” As you quickly apologize, you pick up everything before the man gets even angrier.

“It’s okay. I should have been more careful as well. Today is just not my day. I’m sorry for coming off so harsh.” He bends down to help clean up the mess as well.

“Don’t worry about it. Here, This should be all of your stuff.” You hold out your hands which are holding his wallet, phone, and a few papers. Opens up his bag and you place in the stuff.

“Thanks, and here are yours.” He does the same.

“Thank you and I’m sorry about all this. Have a nice day!” You wave the stranger goodbye and proceed with your journey to Jin’s apartment.

“Hey Y/N, why didn’t reply to my texts?” Jin asks you once he sees you.

“Oh really? My phone must have been on silent. Did you need something?”

“No, I was just asking when you would get here because I’m starving.” Jin says while he’s already munching on a bag of chips.

“You fatty. You couldn’t even wait a little bit?” Despite your quick actions, Jin is quicker and manages to take the bag out of your reach.

“Yes. Now, let’s go eat before we do anything else.”

“So what have you been up to lately?” Jin asks you while the two of you slurp down on your noodles.

“Nothing much. The usual. People are still chasing around this baseless clock, ruining their lives. All that fun stuff.”

“Well someone is in a good mood aren’t they?” He gives you one of his cheerful laughs - out of mockery.

“Hey! It’s true and you know that! So what if there’s a clock counting down pretty much to your last days? Wouldn’t it be better just to live life normally and let fate or whatever you believe in do their job? Most things are found through accidents or unintentionally. If you��re focusing your life on finding that one person, you might get so distracted that you’ll actually miss them.”

“You have a point. It’s not the numbers that matter, but rather the experience right? Not all of us will find our one true love and some might not even find them until it’s too late. It’s not our fault for not finding them. It’s our society’s fault for making such a system which is faulty from start to finish.”

“Exactly! Besides, I enjoy living without thinking about the burden of the clock. Sure I have to wake up to the annoying voice every morning, but after that, life carries on naturally.” You finish the last of your food and then move to the front desk to pay.

“Do you want to go to the park? Live life naturally?” You can’t say no to the park even if it is starting to get chilly, but you don’t miss out on hitting Jin on the arm for his poor attempt at a pun.

“I hope you slip and fall in the cold lake while I’m on dry land.” Jin places his hand on his heart dramatically and pretends to be heartbroken.

“Y/N! After all we’ve been through!” Cue the dramatic gasp. “You know that I would drag you in with me as well!” Jin is definitely something else.

“What happens after?” You ask while the two of you are lying down on a fairly dry piece of land in the park.

“What do you mean?” You start to trace the clouds with your finger.

“What happens after you find that person? The one?”

“You probably spend the rest of your life with them.” Jin says nonchalantly.

“But what if they’re not actually the one for you? What if the clock lied?” Now Jin sits up and faces you.

You look up to him and notice how the sun hits his face in all the right angles, creating a sort of halo effect around his head. Jin has never been the most attractive person you’ve seen or met, but he’s definitely had some sort of way of drawing you in.

“That would be a shame wouldn’t it? Well let’s assume that the clock never lies. Everyone has to go through their rough times right? I guess it’s up to the couple to work it out together.”

“It’s so depressing though,” Now it’s your turn to sit up. “What if you find someone in your life, date them for a while and then find out through the stupid monotonous voice every morning that you’re not meant to be with them. It’s so discouraging right?”

Just the thought of spending time with the wrong person makes you feel discouraged. Not the fact that you’re not going to work out, but the fact that it’s a system, an algorithmic system that determines who you spend the rest of your life with. It’s also sad to witness that there are thousands, an entire society, a world that lives by these rules. Something that’s supposed to be freeing is now the most constraining thing in the world.

“Like you said, it’s just a system. The experiences are what we remember. Voice or no voice, time will play it’s hand and relationships will come and go. Sure maybe you aren’t each other’s one true love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love each other. Maybe not in a romantic way, but love comes in so many forms. You don’t have to kiss someone to tell them that you love them.”

“If only the rest of the world thought of it that way.” You sigh. “So many people are taken away in a day because they can never find ‘the one’ what ever that means to whoever created the system.”

“Yeah…such a shame…”

Just then, another thought occurred to you.

“Jin?”

“Hm?”

“What happens if you find the one, but they don’t love you back?”

Jin hesitates a moment before he answers.

“I’m not sure Y/N…I don’t know…”

“Hello?”

“Hello? Who is this?”

“My name is Min Yoongi. I think we may have picked up the phones earlier when we bumped into each other.”

“Oh crap really?” You look down at the phone and didn’t even realize that it’s a different model from yours. You couldn’t tell from the ringtone since the phone was on silent.

“Yeah sorry about that. Is there a time when you can meet up to trade back our phones?”

“Of course! How about tomorrow morning?”

“Sure, let’s meet at the cafe near where we bumped into each other. It’s right across from the street.”

“Sounds good! Oh, I’m Y/N by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Y/N.”

“You too Yoongi.”

You’re still in disbelief with the fact that you managed to swap phones with Yoongi. Of all things that could have happened; you didn’t even notice that the phone that you took was different to yours. Luckily, the first time you went to see Yoongi wasn’t too bad, in fact, it wasn’t bad at all. He was quite similar to yourself, same outlook on life; just trying to live with what is given, forgetting about the system.

“Hey are you Yoongi?” You walk over to the table near the window where you see a man with dark hair, a black jacket and some ripped jeans.

“Yes. You must be Y/N?”

“Yup. Here’s your phone. Sorry about the mix up. I have no idea how this happened.”

“Don’t worry about it. We both seemed to be in a rush yesterday. I didn’t know what you would like so I decided to wait for you until you came.”

“Thanks.” You take and seat and tell the waiter what drink you want.

“You know, you really should put a password on your phone. You’re lucky that someone like me picked it up instead of some serial killer.” Yoongi says in a serious tone, yet you find humour out of it.

“I see I have been blessed by the gods above to have you look after my phone.” You joke back and you earn a smirk from Yoongi.

Quite surprisingly, the two of you were able to chat for a long time that day. It’s been a while since you’ve been able to talk so freely with someone; aside from Jin of course. With Yoongi, you were able to express how you truly felt with the whole system. You learned that he too does not support nor does he want to live in the confined life. Aside from all the depressing stuff, you also found out that he’s quite interested in the arts and just enjoying the simple things.

“It was nice to meet you Y/N.” Yoongi says while he stands up from the table and you do the same.

“You too Yoongi. I hope we can meet up again.”

“Of course, I’d like that as well. I really enjoyed talking to you.”

“You too.” You smile as the two of you walk out of the cafe.

“You should look through your phone. You never know what you’ll find.” You scrunch your eyebrows together, giving him a confused look. Yoongi just laughs and waves goodbye.

Once he’s out of sight, you look through your phone to see that he could have left behind.

Then through your messages, you find it.

His number.

For some odd reason, after talking to Yoongi, you didn’t want it to stop. You felt goosebumps whenever you talked to him and even at the slightest, you swear you could feel your heart skip a few beats. A feeling you’re so foreign with, yet you craved it.

“Jin! Where have you been? Now you’re the one who hasn’t been answering my calls.” Fast forward a month or so after you met Yoongi, the two of you have been spending a fair amount of time together. Meanwhile, it’s been virtually impossible to contact Jin.

“Oh, sorry…I’ve been trying to sort out some things. How have you been?” Even through the phone, you can tell that Jin is tired, exhausted, but you push that away.

“I’ve been good. I wanted to tell you something a while back though.”

“What is it?” You hear this strange shuffle through the speaker.

“A month a go, I met this guy, Yoongi. He’s just like us. He doesn’t believe in the system and he’s into arts. I don’t know why, but every time I talk to him, I feel so refreshed. It’s like getting another outlook on this whole situation, yet being able to relate to it!”

“Oh…That sounds amazing. I would love to meet this Yoongi guy.” You smile and then spend the rest of the night talking to the Jin on the phone.

The whole time you tried to find out why he hasn’t been answering his phone, but he didn’t even give a single hint. You know that he’s busy with his job and school on the side so you assume that that’s probably why he hasn’t been so present lately.

Soon Jin has to leave so he says his goodbyes, but you hang up first. Minutes later, you receive a text.

Do you want to hang out tomorrow?

It’s from Yoongi

Sure, see you

“100 more days”

“Ughhh” You groan and throw a pillow at the wall. Your days are being cut short and only now are you starting to feel small incarnations of fear.

What happens then?

The constant unanswered question remains in your mind. What happens if you don’t find that someone. What happens then? What happens after they take me away? Will I be able to come back?

All these questions, yet still not even the slightest of answers.

Piercing through the silence, your phone rings and lights up your room.

“Jin, hey.”

“Hi Y/N, can I come over?”

“Sure what’s up?”

There’s a brief silence.

“I have something to tell you.”

“Sure —”

Before you have a chance to say anything else, Jin hangups. Within a few minutes, your doorbell rings.

“Jin— Oh,” Jin engulfs you in a hug and holds you tightly as if you’re going to run away any moment.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You tap his shoulder lightly, but he continues to hug you for a little longer.

After a few minutes, Jin finally pulls away.

“Sorry…I just… I missed you Y/N.” You look at Jin and notice the dark circles that have formed underneath his eyes. He definitely looks a lot more tired, but that’s not it. He looks empty.

“I missed you too Jin. Are you okay?” You bring your hands up to his face, but he turns away.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. I spent the last month or so trying to sort things out.”

“That’s okay. As long as you have everything sorted out now right?”

“Yeah…” He drops his head and looks off into the distance for a brief moment. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“How many days?” You’re taken back by the question considering the fact that Jin barely ever asks you these things.

“100.” The moment you answer, you swear you see something drop inside of him.

“That’s still a lot…”

“Yeah, what about you?”

“M-Me? Oh… I still have something like 100. I don’t know..I-I stopped paying attention. So this Yoongi guy, he’s really something right?”

You’re left puzzled at his sudden change of topic, but you don’t push Jin for an answer.

“Yeah. Actually, the other day, Yoongi asked me out.” Your mind replays the moment a few days ago.

“Y/N, I know we haven’t known each other for a while, but for the few months that we have, I feel like I can share my whole life with you.” Yoongi is walking you home after the two of you spent the entire day together in the city, exploring. Every now and then his hand grazes yours and you feel the tension between wanting to hold his and holding yourself back.

“Me too. I really enjoy spending time with you Yoongi.” The two of you stop on your tracks and you smile at him. One of the lampposts shine down on the both of you, illuminating his face just to the right amount.

“I don’t know how much time you have left, nor do I care, but I do hope that you would like to spend it with me.”

“Yoongi are you —”

“Yes.”

Slowly, the light from the lamppost gets dimmer and Yoongi’s face gets closer. He brings one of his hands to rest on your waist and the other lightly grips the side of your arm. His lips hesitate over yours, looking for a signal and as you don’t pull away, he closes the small gap.

“Y/N,” Yoongi whispers as he pulls away slowly. “No matter how much time is left, no matter what happens, would you like to spend it with me?”

Without any second thought, you nod and hug Yoongi tightly as he does so as well and spins you around underneath the lamppost.

“Oh…congratulations. I…Would love to meet this Yoongi guy. He must really love you if he wants to spend the rest of his time with you.” Love. It hasn’t occurred to you that Yoongi loves you. Honestly, you don’t exactly know how to describe your feelings towards Yoongi. You just know that it’s different.

“Love? I don’t know, but it might be. Who knows, maybe I won’t have to wake up to that annoying voice tomorrow!” You let out a laugh, but Jin only manages a strained smile.

You did wake up to the annoying voice. The day after Yoongi asked you out and the day after Jin came over to your house. You kept hearing the voice, not only days after, but also weeks. You didn’t mind the clock that much, but like all the stories that you’ve heard, it’s definitely disappointing; just like you imagined.

This is not to say that you didn’t enjoy being with Yoongi. Hell, he made you extremely happy, but waking up to the countdown of your life is not something you would consider as “freeing.” Despite the time you and Yoongi enjoy being together, both of you have made it clear to each other that your clocks haven’t stopped. However, both didn’t let that stop what was going on between the two of you.

The way the two of you met is quite unconventional, but that’s how the best things happen right? They never go as planned. That’s the beauty of life.

However, there is one thing that you noticed. Jin has become a lot more distant recently. He was already distant months ago before you announced your relationship with Yoongi, but now you barely even text him! One day you decided to introduce Yoongi and Jin. They seemed to get a long quite well. It was a rocky start, but nonetheless, you were relieved that there wouldn’t be any conflict. After that day, you didn’t see much of Jin. It’s almost as if he disappeared off the face of the earth.

“Hey Y/N…” Yoongi greets you as he comes out of his room. Earlier today, he called you over to his place urgently.

“Hey, what’s up?” You’ve been sitting in the living room while waiting for him as he said he had to get something in his room.

“Today’s the 27th right? So near the end of the month…”

“Yeah?…” You’re not quite sure what Yoongi is trying to get at, but he sits right next to you on the couch. You see a brown piece of paper poking out from the pocket of his jacket.

“Jin met up with me a few days and he…he told me to give you this today.” Yoongi takes out the brown paper and you realize that it’s an envelope. You take the envelope carefully and try to look at Yoongi for answers, but he doesn’t give you any.

Without any clue as to what’s inside the envelope, you open in hesitatingly. Inside, there are a few sheets of paper and photos. Photos of you and Jin months ago, from all sorts of occasions. Once again you look at Yoongi, but he can only stare at the rug.

“What is this…” You ask without expecting an answer and unfold the papers.

Dear Y/N,

I’m sorry.

I’ve lied to you. When you asked me how many days I had left, I lied. I didn’t have a hundred plus days, hell, I didn’t even have one left. It stopped during that month that I’ve become distant. It happened on such a random day. I don’t even remember what happened, but I think it was the day where we went to the park and we were actually talking about the whole system. It was that day where I became aware of my feelings.

Actually, even months before, spending time with you was the best thing that I’ve ever been through. It was amazing that I got to meet someone like you, someone who refused to be dictated by a system. I’m thankful that we got to meet that day during the party.

The morning after we went to the park, I didn’t wake up to the voice. There was no indication of how many days left I had to find my one true love. I didn’t need it anymore because I had already found that person, You.

I thought everything would work out fine and that I could continue to live on with my life since I knew that you didn’t see me as anything more than a good friend. I was completely okay with living like that! However, the system didn’t seem to like that. After the first day when the countdown stopped, a message was left in the system of my home.

There was a new countdown.

I had three months to make you fall in love with me or else they would take me away. It was horrible. No one told me that this would happen after you found your love. No one told me that I would have to force you into loving me! I didn’t know what to do. That’s why I became so distant during that month. I didn’t know how to face you. I couldn’t face you. It wasn’t fair, to you or to me. I know how much you hated the system and I knew that you would have resented the world even more if I told you what had happened.

After the long month of internal fights, I came to the conclusion that I would just let the time go. I would let our destinies take charge and just live out what’s meant to be. That day when I went to your place, I was going to confess to you, but then you told me that you were already in a relationship with Yoongi. At the moment you told me, I was shattered, but then I realized that you had all the right to happiness. For all the time I’ve known you, you’ve just wanted someone who would appreciate you for who you are and not just for the sake of the system.

I had no right to take that happiness away from you so I decided to let it all go.

After you introduced me to Yoongi, I’ve kept in touch with him. I didn’t want you to see me in the state that I was going through so I made sure that he treated you with everything he had. You deserve it all Y/N. You deserve someone who is willing to put aside his own clock and just living for the memories.

I’m sorry that I’ve distanced myself from you these last few months. I knew how happy you were with Yoongi and I didn’t want to let my own sorrows ruin that. I love you Y/N. I truly do, but as you’re reading this, I hope that you’re able to live the rest of your life with Yoongi.

Maybe one day we’ll meet again.

- Jin

Shock. Despair. Anger.

You feel all these emotions at once, yet you don’t feel anything at all.

“What does this mean Yoongi?” You look towards him, tears creating lines of light in your vision.

“I’m sorry Y/N. Jin told me to keep it a secret from you. He didn’t want you to worry about him.” Yoongi takes your hand in his and squeezes them for comfort, but you don’t feel any.

You feel your heart shatter. You feel pieces of it fall off, a void being created.

This has to be some sick joke.

“Where is he n-now? J-jin. W-where is he?”

“I don’t know Y/N… I really don’t…today was his last…”

Without any other thoughts, you spring up from your seat and dash out of the apartment. You run down the sidewalks, wind roaring through your ears. You push past people who are walking in the opposite direction as you and they give you a nasty glare, but you don’t care. Furiously, you wipe away your tears as memories of you and Jin fill your mind.

You remember the first day when you’ve met and he spent the night talking to you.

You remember the time on your birthday where Jin surprised you with a home cooked meal, one where you haven’t had in a while.

You remember the time when you got deathly sick and Jin was there right next to you, even when you insisted that he should leave since you didn’t want him to get sick as well.

You remember all the times where Jin would ward off any guys who were trying to hit on you for their own benefit.

You remember it all.

“JIN?!” You scream at the top of your lungs as your approach his doorstep. The door is already opened and you rush inside.

All of his stuff is gone.

“Jin?! Where are you?” You search all over the house and when you enter his room, you find him, but he’s not alone.

“Jin…w-what’s happening?” You notice 4 other men who are standing around his bed, IV’s sticking out of his arm and other tubes sticking out from his arm.

“Y/N…what are you doing here?” Jin says with a weak voice while he lays on his bed, eyelids heavy.

“Yoongi g-gave me your letter. W-why didn’t you tell me s-sooner? I could have h-helped you! What’s going to happen now?” Tears are now uncontrollable. You push past the men in white attire and grab Jin’s hand. They’re cold.

“It’s okay Y/N. I knew this would happen. I wanted it to happen. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew that you would help me, but then I would be harming you. You never agreed with the system and then I became a victim to it. I’m sorry Y/N…” His voice grows weaker and his words are more spaced apart, almost struggling to stay away.

“Jin you can’t just go! You know what happens to the people who get taken away! Please, there has to be a way to fix this!” You turn towards one of the men in white and beg them, but they don’t even spare a single glance towards you.

“Miss, please move. We must be on our way now.”

The men push past you and lift Jin onto a stretcher.

“NO!” As they push Jin out of his apartment, you chase after them, holding Jin’s hand.

“Y/N, please go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Jin…You can’t go.” Jin brings his hand up to your face to wipe away your tears and cups your face for a moment.

“It’s okay Y/N. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Lies. All lies.

“Jin, don’t go.” You feel the tension in both your hands grow as the men pull Jin into one of their trucks. You try your best to hold onto his hand for as long as possible, but it’s no use.

Before the doors close, Jin mouth’s out the words,

“I love you.”

“JIN!”

And with a final bang of the door, the truck speeds off into nothingness.

The next morning, you don’t wake up to a robotic voice.

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