#but its a matter of thinking about why someone might be REALLY interested in certain things

[kana-daydreams]

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 || 𝐙𝐨𝐫𝐨(𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐀)

summary: Zoro surprises you with a compliment and you express your appreciation with a surprise of your own—by unintentionally stealing his first kiss. genre: fluff cw: added just a li'l bit of spice wc: 3.3k kana's notes: This was originally suppose to be a drabble, but ig I couldn't help myself😓. Anyways hope you enjoy my fellow Zoro lovers :D

“Told you it was a waste of time.” Nami drawls as she continues to peruse through racks of clothes searching for an outfit to wear for tonight’s dinner while you sit, sulking in a corner next to a discarded heap.

“You don’t have to rub it in y’know.” You lift your head from off your knees to peer up at your friend with a pout. “I’m already regretting all my past decisions.” You say, feeling heat bloom at your cheeks as you recall the couple of model worthy poses (well at least you think they were) you’d mustered up the courage to perform in front of a certain green-haired individual as you tried on multiple styles of clothes ranging from cute to elegant along with a few that showed off some skin— none seeming to had piqued the swordsman’s interest. Not even shamelessly batting your lashes had been enough to earn an ounce of a reaction from him except for his concern that something might have gotten stuck in your eye.

You release a stifled cry at the embarrassing memory, plopping your head back down onto your knees.

“Why did I have to fall for someone incapable of giving a girl a decent compliment?” You say, your words muffled by the fabric of the outfit you’re wearing.

Fishing for compliments wasn’t a habit of yours and seeking validation for your appearance, especially from a guy, definitely wasn’t either. You knew you were a hottie— by your standards anyways. It’s just that you really had somewhat of a thing for Zoro who you’d known for some time now, and hearing him compliment you for just once in your life, no matter how small it was—even if it was only a single word—would be more than enough to send you, having lived a fulfilling life, right to heaven’s pearly white gates.

“C’mon, it’s not the end of the world.” Nami crouches down at your level, giving you a tender pat on the head and you peek an eye open at her to notice that she’s changed into a beautiful and traditional chinese dress; its red colour complementing her ginger-orange hair. 

“I’ve already told you, you look great. Sexy and cute— a deadly combination.” She gives you a wink and you giggle lightly at the action. 

“Thanks, Nami.” You smile.

“No problem.” She lightly pinches your cheeks before standing to her full height. “Now let's finish getting ready, shall we?” She extends a hand down at you. “I have a bet to win.”  

You playfully roll your eyes, remembering her bet with Luffy before taking her hand, the two of you making your way out the grandeur of the closet.

Later at night, under the dazzling lights of a grand chandelier, you and the rest of your newly formed crew along with Usopp—a boy you and the others recently befriended—stand scattered about the spacious foyer of Miss Kaya’s home, awaiting the birthday girl’s presence as you mingle and indulge your taste buds with lavish delicacies being served around on silver platters. 

While you and the crew wine and dine, Zoro stands amongst his own company near the staircase, nursing in his hands, his fourth glass of cocktail—deep brown eyes pinned on your form standing beside Luffy and Usopp.

He watches as you converse with them and as you chow down on platter after platter of food like it’s the last meal of your life alongside Luffy, his gaze drinking in your every smile, your every laugh and the adorable expressions you make as you stuff your cheeks full with every bit of food that comes your way.  It makes him wonder if you and Luffy are having a full on eating competition at the rate the two of you are going.

He only takes his gaze off you when he realises his glass is empty after he goes to chug some of the liquid down, discarding it onto a nearby end table laden with a few more empty glasses alike.

His eyes then search across the room for the server, wanting to satiate his taste for more alcohol, flitting over in your direction when he hears the sound of your voice calling his name. 

“Zoro, you’ve gotta try these!”

Zoro watches as you approach him with animated steps and glances down at the tray you carry in your hands to see chocolate, pink and milk-white covered squares.”

“Is that cho—”

“Yes! And it’s really good!” You bounce on the balls of your feet, the action making Zoro suspect that you’d had way too much chocolate than your sweet tooth could handle. 

“Here, you should try this one.” 

“Chocolate isn’t really my th—” Zoro cuts himself short when he sees one of your hands pick up a chocolate-coated square, offering it to him.

He looks down at the piece of chocolate pinched lightly between your fingers, then back up at your face beaming with a wide smile and then around the room at everyone occupied either in conversation or eating, before returning to settle his gaze back onto you. 

He heaves a sigh. “Does it have alcohol?”

“I don’t think so, but I can go ask if there's any wi—” 

“No, it’s fine.”

Zoro stops you before you can leave, and you watch as he leans forward a bit, shuts his eyes and slightly parts his lips, his actions causing your head to tilt slightly in confusion.

Your questioning look, however, doesn’t last long, slowly fading away and morphing into one of surprise when your brain registers the purpose of his actions.

You almost heave a cough, feeling heat creep up your neck; burning at your cheeks while your hand remains extended with the chocolate held between your fingers as you continue to stand there, unmoving, simply staring up at him— up at a sight you never quite expected to see or would ever see. 

When Zoro doesn’t feel any sign of sugary sweet pressing against his lips, he peeks an eye open to see you staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

“What are you waiting for?”

“N-Nothing!” Your voice immediately squeaks out.

Zoro only lets out a hum at your response before once again closing his eyes, waiting for you to feed him the chocolate square.

You swallow hard. And your heart rate picks up as you inch the chocolate closer to his mouth, its beat increasing more so when the tips of your fingers brush against his soft lips.

When Zoro feels a sweet warmth mixed with a hint of salt melting against his tongue, he doesn’t have much of a reaction and simply opens his eyes to look down at you.

“I-It’s good? Isn’t it?”

Zoro nods. “Yeah.”

Silence.

“Okay, well, um..I’m gonna go,” you say with a nervous chuckle, pointing a thumb behind you. “Gonna see what else they uh, gotta eat.” You slowly start to reverse your steps, bumping into the server behind you as you do, almost knocking her over along with the full platter of food in her hands.

You profusely apologise to the woman who sends you a disapproving glare before continuing with robot-like movement back in the direction you came, unable to see the hint of red that colours the tips of Zoro’s ears and also the way his gaze lingers on your retreating figure, all the while he stands there regretting that he still couldn’t find the courage nor the right words to tell you how beautiful you were in the outfit you’d chosen to wear tonight, and how cute, pretty—and sexy you looked in the many more he had watched you try on. 

When Kaya’s birthday dinner unfortunately comes to an early close due to her outbreak of rattling coughs, she’s kind enough to allow you along with your friends to stay the night unlike her overprotective butler who wasn’t keen on extending your stay, especially after Luffy and his big rubber mouth revealed that you were pirates.

However, instead of lying, snuggled under the thick, warm blankets of a queen size bed, you traverse through a dim-lit hallway in search of the kitchen to help yourself to a midnight snack.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have given up on looking for Luffy.” You murmur to yourself as you continue to amble along the empty halls with no sense of direction as to where you were going, involuntarily releasing a gasp when your body suddenly collides into another, one more firmer than your own, just as you round a nearby corner.

You look up at the figure that slightly towers over your form, a much less startled expression on their face. 

“Z-Zoro?!” You breathe a sigh of relief at the swordsman’s presence. “Thank the heavens you're not that scary butler. What are you doing here?” Your eyes dart down to the three swords attached to his right hip.

“I’m looking for a drink.” Zoro watches as you place a hand across your chest, attempting to calm yourself down from the jumpscare he’d unintentionally given you. “What about you?”

“Food hunt.” You look back up at him with a small smile.

“...Right.”

There’s a lull in the conversation as you notice Zoro’s gaze fall behind you and on instinct, you turn around to see where his eyes follow. 

“Where’s Luffy?”

The swordsman expected that if you were here; Luffy was here, as the two of you seemed to be joined at the hip everywhere you went, especially when food was involved.

You turn your gaze back to him. “Back in his room, I guess.” You say, your hand no longer attached to your chest trying to calm your racing heart. “I did plan on inviting him, but I don’t know where his room is.”

Something that wasn’t your fault since you were the first to be assigned a room and didn’t get to see where the others’ rooms were. 

“So…” you drawl and Zoro glances down at you to see your lips curve into a mischievous smirk. .

“Since Luffy isn’t here...” you continue. “Wanna be my partner in crime instead? You know, help me scour the kitchen for some gold?” You suggest, with a slight wiggle of your eyebrows.

Your words seem to pique the swordsman’s interest as similar to you, a smirk pulls at his lips and he makes a gesture with his head for you to lead the way and you do, him falling in step beside you.

Apparently, you taking the lead was not the best idea when it came to navigating through a house designed like a maze—a fact you should have known with hindsight—as you and Zoro still continue to roam around the mansion like headless chickens for what seems like about an hour. 

“Why is this place so huge?!” You groan and release somewhat of a frustrated cry, already feeling the urge to quit your endeavour of a kitchen raid. Though, you do not act on the tempting idea since you have no clue of the direction you and Zoro came from—the soft grumbles of your stomach doing little to curb your frustration.

Zoro, as he walks beside you, remains silent at your mini-breakdown, his head craning in your direction when he hears you speak again.

“By the way,” You start. “How was the party?” You ask, trying—key word, trying— to keep your mind from being occupied by the thought of food and mostly because you couldn’t let the opportunity of your alone time with Zoro slip past you.

“The alcohol was good.” 

You wait to hear if he will add more, but he doesn’t, not surprised that his reply ends rather abruptly.

“Yeah, it was.” You agree.

Zoro arches an inquisitive brow. “You drink?”

“Not exactly. But the mocktails were great and so was the food.” You smile and so does Zoro, one so faint that your eyes fail to catch it, when he recalls the happy expression on your face as you devoured any and everything that passed your way; continuing to listen at the soft and vibrant melody of your voice that fills his ears.

“...and what I loved most of all were the desserts, especially those choco..lates.” Your voice suddenly falls when the memory of you feeding Zoro pops into mind, together with how soft his lips felt when your fingers brushed against them.

“Something wrong?”

You glance to your right to see that Zoro is looking at you with a concerned expression, your face warming from his attention.

 “Ah, N-No. Nothing’s wrong.” You reassure him with a small smile. “Just got sidetracked, that’s all.”  You go silent shortly after your response when your eyes make the mistake of flickering down to his lips and quickly turn your attention away from him, dropping your gaze to the ground.

Zoro doesn’t know what causes your sudden silence which prolongs as you both continue down the hall, but he does know that he misses the sound of your voice which leads to him racking his brain for a topic that might be interesting enough to get you to speak again, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.  

“That outfit you wore tonight—It was nice.”

The words you think you hear Zoro say makes you slow to a stop.

When Zoro notices you’re no longer walking beside him, he turns to see your shock-filled features, immediately feeling himself go pale, and starts to regret the words that just spilled from his mouth—words he’d held back from telling you at Kaya's birthday dinner the entire time his eyes were glued on to you. 

“W-What did you say?” You recover just enough to ask.

Zoro, who stands no more than a few feet away from you, looks back at you and ponders if he should just play it off due to your reaction, but tells himself that doing so would be a cowardly move—and he was not a coward.

He directs his head to the side to keep his face that flushes a light shade of red away from your view. “The outfit you wore at dinner. It looked really nice on you.” He says again, his voice seeming to struggle to get the words out.

You feel heat rush to your skin.

So you did hear him right the first time.

You replay Zoro's words in your head before nervously raising your gaze to look at him. “So, um…” You fidget a bit where you stand. “You think I looked pretty?”

Zoro visibly flinches at your question, still very much avoiding any eye contact.

“Yeah.” He manages an answer after what seems like a couple of seconds. “You always look pretty.”

At his response, a full and goofy smile blossoms on your lips. Then, without thinking—so overcome with joy at Zoro’s one in a lifetime compliment of you that it pushes most of your nervousness aside— your footsteps start moving closer towards his direction, and you tip-toe, just a little to reach his height, aiming at showing your appreciation for his words by gifting him with a kiss on his cheek. 

However the supple softness that your lips meet when you kiss Zoro is not the softness of his cheek, but that of his lips instead when he suddenly turns his head in your direction.

Both Zoro’s dark eyes and yours widen at the realisation and you stumble back, away from him, watching as he touches a finger to his lips.

“I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that!” Your face steams as you attempt to explain yourself for the accidental kiss. “I-I was just trying to give you a kiss on the cheek—not on your l-lips.”

Dread fills you when you realise that Zoro doesn’t have much of a reaction towards your words and all sorts of thoughts race through your mind at what he might be thinking about the indecent act.

Though all your worries subside when Zoro eventually decides to speak.

“Can…we do that again?” 

Your eyes become saucers at his request. “W-what?”

“I..I want you to kiss me again.”

You almost choke.

Never in this lifetime or any lifetime would you think the stoic swordsman would utter such a request—one that you will be more than happy to fulfil, despite your buckling knees.

 “A-Are you sure?” 

In a few steps, Zoro closes the distance between you both; a gasp leaving your lips when you feel his strong arms snake around your waist pulling you into his larger frame.

“Yes, I'm sure.”

Your heart races as he silently stares down at you, noticing his gaze flicker down to your lips, then slowly back up to meet your eyes.

Heat creeps up your neck at the action, settling on your face and increases ever so slightly at the feeling of the heat that radiates off of Zoro's skin through his clothes from his body being flush against your own.

"You don't want to?" Zoro asks when he notices your somewhat hesitant expression. "It's fine if—"

"No. I do, I do." You rush out, reassuring him that the feeling is mutual. "It's just..." You hesitate. "I've never kissed someone. Well except for you—just now." You smile sheepishly. "I...I might be bad."

Zoro's gaze softens at your words. "Same goes for me."

You feel your heart swell and warmth rise to your cheeks. "That..I was your first?"

Zoro answers you with a single nod, the blush deepening on his face.

You let the revelation sink in: You were Zoro's first kiss.

A reality you can't help but take a moment of silence to relish in as you remain caged between Zoro's arms and the comforting warmth of his body, a warm smile subconsciously gracing your face.

"Can you close your eyes?" your voice comes out barely above a whisper when you're finished relishing in the moment.

Zoro's face wrinkles in confusion. "Why?"

"Because I want to kiss you. "Your voice quavers a bit as you speak. "Won't it be weird if we do it with our eyes open? Though if that's your thing—"

"No. I'll close 'em." Zoro says as his eyes immediately flutter close. And with his eyelids pressed shut, you can't help but stare back at him, admiring every inch of his handsome face and the deep blush that paints its tan skin.

Gingerly, one of your hands reaches up to caress one side of his face as you lean in, swallowing lightly when your lips near his, but pause just before they could meet. "You're really sure about this, right?" You can't help but ask the question again just for good measure.

Zoro shudders a little from the soft touch of your hand against his cheek, and also when he feels the warmness of your breath brush against his lips a few inches away from your own.

He doesn't answer your question immediately and it makes your heart sink that he might be having second thoughts until you feel his lips press tenderly against yours in a feather-light kiss.

The sudden action renders your body somewhat into a state of surprised stillness. But only for a beat, before your eyes flutter close, hands circling Zoro's neck as you lean into the kiss that starts off slow with you both savouring the taste of each other; before it escalates into one more confident, filled with longing and passion.

And the next day after you and Zoro shared a heated kiss at midnight in the dim lights of a lone hallway—forced to pull away, when Luffy unexpectedly popped out from nowhere— you both sneak a quick kiss at the shipyard, where eyes cannot lurk, before joining the rest of the crew who’d acquired a new member to its team, aboard its first ship—The Going Merry.

© 2024 kana-daydreams

reblogs appreciated🥰

[essektheylyss]

This was entirely tangential to this post from @utilitycaster which is why this is its own post, but the tags made me think about what feels most compelling about Liliana to me, and it's really because there's such an interesting approach to redemption in terms of the sunk cost fallacy to be had there.

There have been plenty of comparisons between Liliana and Essek, but I don't think they're really situations that can be compared. Essek had done one horrible thing (that was of relevence to the story; it is implied that he's taken other actions that he feels were wrong, but we don't know what those entail nor do the Nein care enough to ask, so per narrative convention, they do not matter for analysis) and was only still involved in it to the extent that he couldn't take it back, so to survive he had to continue covering his tracks. But he was also incentivized to otherwise act in alignment with the group that was not those on behalf of whom he had made terrible choices, because he was still living in the Dynasty, and as such wasn't actively perpetuating those actions beyond the cover up.

Liliana on the other hand is acting with the Vanguard and has been furthering if not personally committing atrocities on their behalf for a number of years, continuing to the present. Like Essek, she believes her involvement in the cause to be a difficult choice that was made for noble reasons, and now can't see a way out. But she is also relieved to be told to stay, though at the point that they discuss her leaving, she is alone and outside the immediate range of contact or oversight from the Vanguard. It seems reasonable that she could disappear with a decent headstart, and perhaps become untraceable quickly enough to be safe from anyone following. With this context, returning to the Vanguard with the intention of feeding information to the opposition feels like the riskier choice, but crucially it is the devil she knows.

I actually liken this more to Cassandra de Rolo than Essek. Cassandra was manipulated against her brother by the Briarwoods, but this was also spurred by having watched Percy seemingly leave her for dead. There are legitimate reasons why the Briarwoods, as the people who rescued her and then kept her alive for many years, are the easier option in which to place her trust. She knows what she's getting from that vantage point and how to handle it. She doesn't inherently have faith that someone she only knew as a young and helpless child, who ran from the hardships she's faced, would have the strength or willingness to do what she has found necessary for survival.

I think that Liliana's actions are more willful, not least because she was not a child nor in mortal peril when she joined the Vanguard, but she sees herself as having made difficult choices when only faced with difficult options, and I do think they have been difficult. She didn't want to leave her family; she doesn't want to hurt the young Ruidusborn under her care; she is probably genuinely sorry that innocent people were considered a necessary sacrifice for what she sees as the greater good. It is psychologically taxing to feel as though one is always picking between bad options, which is a significant contributing factor for why people buy into a sunk cost for so long. And over time, those hard decisions become easier, because you know what to expect from the outcome. Though Liliana is well aware that she might be killed for a misstep among the Vanguard, she already knows how to act to maintain their favor, but how she might be received on Exandria by those fighting the Vanguard, even with the Hells vouching for her, is anyone's guess.

This is a very real reason why people remain in cults and struggle to push back against this kind of conditioning: because the decision to leave feels more immediately perilous than the decision to stay. (On a certain level making these kinds of choices and actions habitual is a fundamental basis behind a lot of military conditioning.) And if you are acting in the interests of your own survival, but that survival comes at the cost of that of countless others who have not, in fact, made any threat or harm against you to begin with, then is the nature of your survival morally defensible?

This analysis isn't a question of whether Liliana will commit to her role as double agent and turn fully against the Vanguard, or even which one of these is a "better" story; this is about what the story might say if she doesn't. Yes, she might commit to a different path than the one she's on and make an effort to redeem herself, but it is also a perfectly coherent and interesting story if she doesn't.

[kolyubov]

HIII!! (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)/ I so love how you write Fyodor!!! Could I request Fyodor with a wise and optimistic s/o??? (it can be oneshot, headcannons, or drabbles :3)

To add on this, s/o is able to keep up with Fyodor's daily rants about philosophy or literature that includes deep meanings. S/o is sophisticated and quite esoteric with their world views, always drowning themselves in knowledge but never really being able to just fall into pessimism from the amount of awareness.

I just love imagining Fyodor bringing up how all sinners should be exterminated while s/o just completely turns his point around by giving some optimistic thought like, "All sinners are capable of redemption. Virtue reaches its limits once it approaches the complexity of man." (whatever that means) and then Fyodor's all baffled because why is his s/o like this??? And he doesnt even mean it negatively. Hes just shocked.

I feel that Fyodor would find it so refreshing to have an s/o like that. He may be a dedicated man who wouldn't change his plans just because his s/o talked him out of it, but he would still deeply respect his s/o and their views.

I APOLOGIZE IF THIS REQUEST WOULD BE TOO HARD(⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠) please take care and thank youu!! ^_^

Fyodor with an optimistic s/o!

✧ pairing. Fyodor Dostoyevsky x gn!reader

✧ word count. 996

✧ contents. fedya in love

✧ author's note. HIHIII NONNIEEE!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ this request is so interesting! and thank u for liking the way I write Fedya, I try my best <3

I really like this trope. Fyodor being merciless about people and the reader being the complete opposite by being optimistic.

honestly I had to search what esoteric means,,, and I'm still not sure if I understood it correctly (╥﹏╥)

I hope you like this and I'm sorry that this took so long :((

It's impossible to change Fyodor's view of the world, the society, or its people. As much as you try to convince him of the opposite —with solid proof— of his negative beliefs in certain topics, he refuses to accept them. Of course, he utterly respects your opinion; you're very smart and he knows you have knowledge about whatever topic in hand you two might be facing, as well as many others.

You think it's maybe because of the way he lived; the things one experiences are the main reason why someone acts or thinks the way they do, most of the time. So, that means that Fyodor probably had experience meeting lots of people who were “sinful” and “foolish” as he describes them in every single deep conversation that the two of you have.

Aside from the debates, Fyodor adores being able to discuss philosophical things with you— his lovely partner turning serious as he speaks, carefully listening to everything he has to say with those big eyes just makes him fall deeper in love. He's never going to directly tell you how much he enjoys it, you just have to get the hint.

Currently, Fyodor was sitting on his desk, his ushanka resting on the table among a few documents scattered on the surface— documents with government agents' faces on them and long paragraphs, a lot of words were underlined with fluorescent highlighter.

He was completely immersed in his work until he felt a pair of soft hands massaging his tensed shoulders; which was enough for him to lose focus.

“Fedya, do you not feel tired?” Your words make him sigh. Maybe he was overworking himself again, but that doesn't matter when all of this is in order to purge the world from sin.

He closes his eyes, enjoying the gentle rub on his back that is eventually making him feel drowsy. Regardless of how dangerous of a man Fyodor is, the touch of his beloved reduces him into a soft lovesick puppy— though he tries to hide it.

A smile spreads across his face when you turn his head to the side, hooking a finger under his chin, and pressing a tender kiss on his cold lips that leaves him yearning for more when you pull away.

“Leaving so fast?” He asks when he sees that you're walking away. You might as well take responsibility for distracting him from his work. “Wouldn’t you prefer to have a small chit-chat with me?”

And since you have nothing else better to do, you decide to walk back to his desk, sitting across from him.

“You see, sweetheart, I have been reading these papers for the next meeting… All of these are government members who belong to the plague that must be eliminated from the world for the sake of it. They’re sinners.”

He leans back against his chair, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Sinners tend to be selfish, only chasing their own tail in circles like a lost dog, doing anything for their own primal desires and then being hypocrites about it.”

A small laugh leaves his lips as he tilts his head to the side; Clearly, he knows this is the time when you're going to refute.

“People are not sinners forever...” You murmur while looking down at the papers, trying to give it a quick read, but Fyodor could perfectly hear your sweet voice in that slightly pouty tone.

Even as his partner you know you can’t change the way he thinks or stop him from reaching his vile goals, and as much as you don’t like seeing other people's lives slip away by Fyodor’s hands, you can’t do anything about it.

“Oh, love. I feel like if you were in my place, looking at all these faces and the stories behind them, you'd think otherwise.”

“No, Fedya.”

Fyodor's eyes widen at the way you said it, a stern tone that immediately gets his attention.

“Humans are fragile things, in body and mind.” You look at him straight into his eyes, not realizing how serious you sound by now, “And their mind can be corrupted by different situations they face during their short life…”

The man in front of you raises an eyebrow, carefully listening.

“That's how they turn “sinners”, by suffering through their life, but I think that they can be saved… not in the way you think, not by being exterminated… ending their lives is not the solution.”

“Then what do you think the solution is?”

Your eyes follow Fyodor as he stands up slowly, taking slow steps before standing behind you, “I'm all ears, dear.” The way he says it sounds menacing as he places a kiss on your cheek.

“Sinners are capable of redemption… There are a lot of ways one can be ‘saved’, some people might choose God, and others might choose their family or friends, but what matters is the capacity one has to be able to get out from the dark pit of suffering to stop being selfish and sinful.”

You don't dare to look at Fyodor, afraid of what he might think, afraid he thinks your optimistic way of thinking is just dumb.

But then you hear his soft laugh as he grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks with his thumb and index finger, “You're so cute.” A nervous laugh escapes your lips, and before you can speak, his lips are over yours.

Truth be told, he does take you very seriously, but his heart flutters each time you show that smart side of yours. Fyodor feels proud of having you by his side.

As he pulls away, he pecks your cheek again, “You surprise me every time, dear.” He walks back to his seat, still smiling softly at you.

“I'd like to keep talking to you but at the same time, I need to work… So why don't you help me choose who deserves to be my first victim to be saved?”

© 2024 pinklacydovey

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hey I realy like your yandere twisted wonderland x kny post(s). Can I ask for the yandere dorm leaders react to (platonic and non-yandere) Tsutako Giyu blocking any of the leaders' romantic advancements toward their tanjirou!reader, because Giyu does not trust the leaders at all? Please and thank you,take care of yourself.

Tomioka Giyuu Blocking Tanjiro Reader| Yandere Twisted Wonderland

While Tsutako would certainly do that if you were her sibling but what would an average woman be able to do for you against a bunch of magical suitors stalkers. Tomioka is the one who’d really be an obstacle. No one seems to like him, let alone notice him half the time but his words are golden to you and the boys are having quite a lot of trouble getting past him. Giyuu himself may think he’s trash but you are most certainly not. You’re walking perfection and if he’s going to use the placeholder position of Hashira he’s using it to protect you: 

Idia Shroud

“Whoa!? When did you get here?!”

“A couple minutes ago.”

“Oh…okay then…”

“...”

“...”

“If you bring that device anywhere near (Y/n) I’m slicing your legs off.”

He first thought Giyuu was like him

A fellow loner who could understand his desire to have you

And he found that Giyuu was a loner

Just not one that was friendly to him

And he’s more than aware of Idia’s influence but that won’t matter when Giyuu’s faster than Ortho when it comes to his blade

“A-a worthy opponent h-has entered the chat!”

Leona Kingscholar

“They won’t have to die fighting that demon king or whatever. Don’t you want that?”

“I want them to be the next water Hashira and if you’re going to get in the way of that I know over 46 pressure points on your body that will temporarily paralyze you.”

He didn’t like him from the start 

He’s expression, his face, all of it infuriates him

Not to mention he really is that much faster than him

Leona’s going to have to try another tactic to get this guy off your back

“Maybe we’re not hearing each other right. How about you put down the sword and then try stopping me?”

Vil Schoenheit

“You seem really intent on getting in my way…is this jealousy?”

“It's not but you remind me of someone horrible.”

“Oh? Is it yourself?”

“Nope it's a horrible woman named Shinobu Kocho.”

He’s no match for him physically 

But his charisma greatly exceeds Giyuu’s 

Something he’s sure to remind the Hashira of with every chance

But since Giyuu doesn’t seem to sway he’s got to be more conniving

Which should be fine for someone with poisons against a sword

“Hope this isn't your first time playing with poisons because it may be your last.”

Azul Ashengrotto 

“You might be interested in knowing the future, right? Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

“You sound like a demon.”

“Oh? Am I a handsome one at least?”

“I kill demons for a living.”

“...oh..”

Azul’s own charm doesn’t save him here and it's killing him

He already has to woo you 

and this guy isn’t budging 

The twins won’t bother him 

And he won’t even look at a contract

This octopus is getting desperate

“You won’t like me when I’m cornered Giyuu.”

Kalim Al Asim 

“What?! Why would you want to leave? I have more of that bread you like!”

“Nice try but we have a job to get to.”

“But how do you plan to do your job when you’re going to get hurt?”

“That shouldn’t matter to a civilian like you!” 

While Giyuu is entranced by the way Kalim seems to like him

He’s sure its a trick 

And he can’t afford to die before giving you his title

“Hey. Don’t leave, we were just having fun!”

Malleus Draconia

“Why would you leave this place? If you are certain you are going to die, why bring my (Y/n) with you?”

“I’m not bringing them anywhere, this is their decision. Don’t you want to honor their avenging of their family?!”

“Not if it means losing them!”

This is a hard one 

Malleus can actually defeat Giyuu 

But his will is strong as well as his effect on you 

So he can’t be too hasty

But a prince forgets and Giyuu’s in trouble

“If you are going to be such a problem for us, I will just skip to a time where you are not alive.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“As the queen’s decree you cannot just run off with my subjects or prospective lovers!”

“And I can’t stand you types.”

“Grr! Off with his head!”

He doesn’t initially have a problem with him

But to see you rely on someone so awkward much taller

It irks him

Even worse he’s warning you about him now

And he can’t have that

“Don’t get in my way unless you want to be beheaded too!"

[br4inr0tx]

Alright, here’s a matchup for 🌱 anon! Once I get at least three anons I’ll start making an anon list

tw - toxic relationships

Your Boyfriend to Death matchup is… LAWRENCE OLEANDER !!

• You saw this coming didn’t you, you little shit.

• I feel like for Lawrence to really like someone, they need to be chill and understanding, similar to how Ren was with Lawrence. Though I do think theirs big bonus points if you have similar interests and ideals as him. You just so happen to check all of those boxes.

• Lawrence hates plants a lot, but also loves them? You played the game, you know why. Having someone willing to take care of plants like he does probably makes him happy, although he probably rambles to you about how plants are alluring but selfish.

• Lawrence also likes doing experiments such as pushing the human body to its limit. He’ll try to do experiments such as cutting you open, but you constantly have to remind him you’ll die if he does anything crazy like that on you.

• He really enjoys your quiet moments, as he hates talking. If you ever get overexcited and loud he’ll full on yell at you. He might even punch you out of nowhere too..why does he punch the player so often? 😭

• I think certain animals can stress him out, so be patient and you can possibly show him that all animals aren’t that bad?

• Just in general be patient with him. He needs a good balance. If you’re overly polite he’ll either call you a liar or do a loving experiment on you to be “closer to you”, but if you’re too mean he’ll kill you. Tread very carefully with him.

• I think Lawrence is a good listener when he wants to be. Most of the time he remembers certain things like your favorite things, as well as things you hate. He likes to buy you stuff sometimes too if he can afford it!

• He’s a lot taller than you, but honestly there’s not much else to say on the matter. He might tower over you, but he never brings it up. I’ll just say it to get your mind racing. <3

• Since you both have similar styles, I can definitely see the two of you sharing clothes. Well, at least you taking his and wearing it as oversized clothing. I don’t think he’ll be able to fit into your clothes because of how small you are. He won’t mind if you take his clothes, just tell him first. He may freak out if you take it without warning.

• Your runner up is Ren!

• Just be patient with him. Almost like a cat in his own way, he’ll become very sweet and attention seeking. He’s a sweetheart if you abide by his boundaries and are aware of his mental state.

[pokemonshelterstories]

Even after reading your FAQ and a bunch of asks you've answered, I'm still not sure if a shelter blog is the best place to ask this, so do feel free to delete this (or tell me privately that you won't post it, but only if you have the time and energy), but I can't think of anyone else, and if you do post it, you or some of your followers might have some interesting thoughts, so here goes:

How would you feel about using Pokeballs to catch Pokémon you're planning to eat?

For context, I and my siblings grew up in a small, mostly off-grid community, and while most details aren't relevant, we did hunt for food occasionally. We never used pokeballs, but instead bow and arrow, fishing rods, nets and traps.

These days I live closer to a big city, sharing a house with my brother, his husband, and their teenage son (my other nibling, their older child, has moved out a while ago, so they're not part of this story).

Last month, we visited the community my brother and I grew up in, and during our two week stay, I took my nephew on a hunting trip. He was decently enthusiastic to train his archery, but he asked why we don't just use pokeballs. Wouldn't it be easier? I didn't have an answer for him then, only that we'd been taught this way and that I'd never considered using pokeballs.

But I've been thinking about it. It would be easier, but wouldn't it also be more cruel? After all, by catching it in a pokeball, you're giving the pokemon false hope of a nice life with a trainer, only to then kill it. I feel like killing it quickly while it's still in the wild and doesn't know any better is more, like, honest maybe?

What do you or your followers think?

(If any angry vegans find this post, don't even waste your energy on a mean response or lecture, because most likely I have you blocked already, and if I don't, I'll correct that when I see you being rude to me)

oooh, this is an interesting ask to get...

i think this is really more of a matter of personal comfort with the idea of eating a pokemon that's been caught in a ball, but as long as it's done properly, i don't see anything wrong with it. after all, pokemon for the most part don't really have any concept of what's going to happen to them in the future.

as someone who hunts, you (i assume) understand our duty to give the pokemon we eat as painless of a death as possible. then, as trainers, we have a duty to maintain the 5 freedoms for our pokemon, which includes freedom from psychological stress. provided you meet those requirements, i think it's ok to catch a pokemon in a pokeball for the sake of eating it. it's more humane than certain types of traps that leave the pokemon struggling until the hunter comes to check them, and pokemon tend to relax in pokeballs, since they mimic the way pokemon curl up when healing. when the pokemon is released from its ball, you then just need to humanely slaughter it. there are some pokemon that i wouldn't do this with, since they don't immediately take well to being caught in a ball; buneary is a good example. but many common game pokemon do just fine.

i've actually used a different tool to help out with culling food pokemon- my styler! there are a lot of farms out near artazon, and rangers do sometimes get asked to help with keeping livestock mons calm in the moments leading up to slaughter. i've met rangers who aren't comfortable taking on those cases, and i've definitely gotten fussed at by my share of pokemon rights activists, but i think pokemon raised as food deserve as calm of an environment as possible. so, no, i dont think using pokeballs to trap game is cruel as long as you know what you're doing and don't stress the pokemon out. but if you're used to the way you already do things, don't feel like you have to change it up either.

[writing-for-life]

Ok, I’m not going to get involved in a certain thread because I don’t want any drama and the line of argumentation leans too much to one side already (the views of the vocal majority in this fandom) for it to make much sense to contribute, but I had a few thoughts today:

In a fandom where people write AUs full of cows and merpeople and other shenanigans that have nothing to do with canon (or the actual characters, to be frank), they can’t do that for Calliope (or any other female character, for that matter)?

She doesn’t get to play in the sandbox?

We don’t have the imagination to turn her into one of the two dolls that kiss?

We have to keep her in character while everyone else can be turned into… whatever person (certainly neither the one of the comics nor the show)?

We constantly have to remember her strife and trauma and can’t invent (!, that’s what writing is about!) a different or new side to her? Or a better future? One in which she gets to be happy?

Or we can’t turn her into someone she canonically isn’t?

While all of this always, always works for Dream? Or the hairy guy?

And speaking of said guy: Do we have any reason to think Dream would treat him better than Nada? We’re automatically assuming he’d do the same thing to Calliope, but not to him? Or: Why do we assume he would do what he did to Nada to any other love interest, because canonically, there’s no evidence for that (we wrote about this on here before)? So no, that line of argument just doesn’t fly in my view.

If Calliope and Dream have chemistry and people are able to acknowledge it (which most do), that on its own is enough to ship them. The chemistry argument works with every M/M ship. Why doesn’t it work with her?

Oh, she is allowed in gen fics (and I am a fan of those btw, but that’s past the point), or as a character with very little agency, or any personal or sexual desires. Even better if she serves the ship. That’s okay of course, I forgot. Reminds me of most of the women of the Sandman—I wonder why.

I just wish people would give the honest reason without going through all the mental gymnastics of why Dreamuse is not an interesting (or even bad or problematic) ship, and the other one is the best invention since sliced bread:

They want to see/imagine two guys together.

There, I said it, it wasn’t hard. It’s really as simple as that in fandom, it’s a predictable fantasy, and it’s the same in every fandom. The Sandman isn’t any different.

M/F ships are frowned upon because they’re “heteronormative”, and yet, (mostly) women proceed to project (mostly) heteronormative relationship dynamics on two guys of which they fancy at least one and use the other to project themselves on. Sometimes, they fancy both of them and get more of what they have the hots for. Good for them, there’s nothing wrong with it. We have oodles of research by now why some women prefer M/M porn; it’s not earth-shattering, groundbreaking or “queer-positive” (it sometimes fetishises homosexuality though, but that’s a different topic). It’s been like that since at least the times of Spirk, and probably longer. It’s actually a fairly (dare I utter the word on here?) straight female sexual fantasy. The queer-positivity everyone is so enamoured with is more than, and not singularly limited to, shipping M/M—as a bisexual woman, I personally can’t identify with that line of thinking at all, but other people’s mileage might vary…

If people are into smutty/explicit fanfic , that’s just how it works: Some women project on a female body while imagining to get railed by a guy, others prefer to imagine two guys because they fancy men. Again: Nothing wrong with it, but it’s also not as deep as people often pretend it is.

Yes, I wrote about that one before as well. That’s why I can do it again—“once your reputation is ruined” and all that 🤣

It’s ok to be horny for two guys without turning it into a brain-contorting statement every time.

It’s also okay to reflect on the wider implications of completely erasing women from EVERY fandom, especially if you identify as one.

Edited on May 27 since it’s obviously necessary:

If people’s main takeaway from this post is that it’s about criticising fetishising homosexuality, they clearly have a reading comprehension problem and should read it again. “Sometimes” doesn’t mean “always”, plus it wasn’t even a main point. I even said that fancying m/m is a fairly middle-of-the-road-fantasy, and that there’s nothing wrong with it. The internalised misogyny that shows in people who think they are “saving women from men” by completely erasing them from the narrative and only centering men is a different topic, but these two things aren’t the same.

If people’s main response to this post is, “Then write your own stuff,” they also have a reading comprehension problem and did not get at all what this is about. It’s also the slightly old getting standard response to anything that invites critical thinking, but that one isn’t all that surprising anymore. The assumption people aren’t writing their own stuff is also a bit… silly? But I imagine that misconception is down to the fact that those people never check any tags beyond one or two, and certainly never any that involve female characters. [And to say it quite frankly: That some people wrote verbatim, “If you want Dream and Calliope to fuck so badly, write it yourself,” just shows me that they’re incapable of viewing anything but through a sex/smut lens. Good for you, kids, your world sounds so exciting *slow clap*. But maybe don’t project your thirst on everyone else.]

Some people in the OP this was about even made good points, and I didn’t criticise any of those because they are true.

This post is about the double standards people apply when they say why one ship (m/m) is more successful than the other (m/f):

Trauma? Never a problem when it’s Dream.

Relationship that somehow “shouldn’t work”? Never a problem in tropes like enemies to lovers and many others that are totally used for thee ship. Or with two people (read: men) they really want to see together.

Bending a character beyond recognition or giving them a totally different backstory, because that would solve the “relationship has run its course”-issue? Never a problem with the two guys who can be anything from a cow to a mafia boss. But the women? Nope, we have to remember their trauma and strife, keep them exactly as in the source material and protect their sacredness by completely ignoring them.

Still don’t get that this is not about a ship per se but the erasure of all women from stories bar being cheerleaders for thee m/m ship in some way? Okay, then that one’s really beyond anything I can explain, although I think some people just like to consciously misrepresent stuff or really don’t do anything but skim-read. That’s not on me I guess…

[nicecrumbart]

"you have any specific scenarios w/ c!scott etc I'm 99% sure I could explain my viewpoint 😭😭 so please send them over" plsss 🥺 can i have ur interpretation on dl axe-critting tradition? i feel like the 'abandonment' at the beginning was pretty justifably bc like. my guy felt betrayed, he didn't feel safe in a relationship anymore, he had a right to walk away from it. even IF his logic was skewed by his own abandonment issues and bias and his reasoning wasn't totally sound, at its' core, he shouldnt be villainised for just deciding to walk away from something he didn't want....

something thats always been hard for me to unravel w/ his pysche was the axe-critting tradition tho. like it IS fucked up no matter what, im not looking for a defence, just help parsing what pyschological decisions led to him deciding to make the tradition bc it seemed VERY out-of-the-blue for me. maybe the initial axe-crit as a punishment for what he thought was pearl intentionally hurting him in the first session, just once, but why do you think he made it a tradition for EVERY session before pearl started with the powdered snow?

Now THIS is a good question

(Bear in mind I haven't watched double life in a while and I have patchy memory at best

Also this is ALL c! Analysis, the CCs are just having a silly goofy time)

I will say I really appreciate you saying that Scott had every right to not want to be in a relationship with pearl because I feel like that is lost to a lot of people ... Like no one should be forced to be paired up, the season was just making it heavily implied. And if you've ever seen Scott's pov he will twist whatever rules/mechanics there are into his desire.

Anyways-

The way I see it, he's still bitter at pearl for leaving, and the longer they don't resolve the issue the more irrational that anger becomes. I agree the first time could've been a response to pearls actions, but I think it's interesting to consider it becoming a way for pearl (and Martyn in conjunction) to have harsh reminder that they DO have a bond and their separation doesn't mean they're just gone but also that they're not forgiven. (Also the damage an axe crit gives might scare them enough to start considering taking more care for their shared lives - but that feels like to much of an extrapolation for this post)

I also think it's important to remember that those axe crits ALSO hurt the people inciting it. When you think about it that way the action does still feel very irrational and emotion driven - but also self destructive (c!Scott's speciality). Like thinking about it from that perspective and it feels very in character for him, it's just unusual for him to want to consistently hurt another player. But when your lives are linked so directly to another person, any way for him to be self destructive or internalise any actions is an attack on someone else. And because of this, his lines of morality get verrry blurry.

I think a way he could rationalise this is the fact that it is also hurting him too, so the violence feels minimised to him (most likely not seen the same way on pearls end).

Obviously this is a BIIG amount of (probably over)extrapolating on an action. I'm not sure I'm even 100% certain on my understanding of it, but at the very least it's makes the narrative and character actions much more interesting. Which I'd honestly my goal in everything I make 😭

TLDR: C!Scotts double life season is intrinsically linked to his abandonment/rejection issues - the twist being when they get ugly he can't just keep them to himself anymore.

(also his ass is very petty)

[tyran-the-tyranical]

That one line from Raphael's Second Diary will never cease to get me 🥺 LIKE MIGHT I ADD- these are his private thoughts, separate from his manipulation attempts and so he, with his full chest, admits so much in his second diary, like when he says "never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." AHH, (my delusions are so real, trust)

BUT WHEN HE SAYS "They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me." look, I get the subtext behind all these quotes, but a girl can just ignore all that media literacy and take it for face value, OK? 💅 but also reading into it, he does admire Tav to a certain extent, and I have to wonder, why? Tav isn't an origin character and Tav's actions and character basically changes with every playthrough (Same with Durge, as they can change too) So I have to wonder if it's because Tav is controlled by the player, since, Raphael does end up breaking the fourth wall in his epilogue speech, so perhaps that's what he sees.

Another way to look at it is, either way, no matter what the playthrough, he sees something in Tav, something that makes them stand out much brighter than their companions (For some reason???)

To further that statement, what is the best of Raphael? I mean, if its an evil playthrough, that would be obvious, but if you're playing a good playthrough, what then? perhaps what he sees is someone he can finally use to get the crown, that's also very likely. Still though that's a very to the point (IMO) not as interesting of a reading since it's literally just his end goal for us, BUT STILL A VALID ONE, because, it is true, that's what he wants from us the most.

Also his third diary where he just straight up admits that he's being so honest with us so he can manipulate us, love that for him, "I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." Which also makes me wonder, is Raphael actually an honest person? I mean, Korilla thinks he's at least decent, but honest? outside of helping us, if we look at Yurgir, he really fucked him over lol. Obviously, Raphael isn't what he seems, even if he's honest with us, to what extent? he says it himself, he's honest about "...sublimely obvious truths..." but what about when he says he's grown quite fond of us in his own way, HMMMM?

I wish this man got a proper story arc in the game, outside of the whole deal for the hammer and House of Hope, that's all plot related for the hammer, but a storyline about Raphael as a character? I mean yea, maybe that would whisk away some of his mystery, his intrigue, but I'm sorry- you cant just end it with him fucking himself (poorly) and trying to break Hope (making her a metaphorical symbol of hope anyway, I think....) AND LEAVE IT THERE?!?!? at the same time, I do like the ambiguity of his character, you could think of him as a cruel bastard after seeing what he's done in the House Of Hope to his debtors and Hope herself or perhaps just a Pathetic lil guy who's shit in bed lol, or maybe even soft, if you go off Korillas words and what he does for us in game he can come across as quite nice, especially after we've interacted with Mizora who's is the only other Cambion example we can go off of.

I also just think it's interesting that he sees anything in Tav/Durge at all. Ofc he says he sees the best of him (Always gotta relate back to himself lol) but that especially a mortal is what he could see himself, the best of himself, but then again he does see potential and ambition as admirable (?) or just something he appreciates, you can see that with Mol and Gortash to some extent anyway, But what ambitions does Tav have outside of just trying to survive? Like, the obvious answer is he wants us to give him the crown and we're the underdog in the story but then why does he refer to Tav so differently then? I fear this has turned into another rant again, lol.

Just a final thought here, but, if he did ever get a story arc, similar to the companions, would they give you multiple directions to take his character? i mean with Shadowheart for example, you could help her break from shar or have her fully convert into shars chosen, but even then, if you free her from shar theres the point of saving her family or freeing her from Shars (curse?) there's multiple ways for her story to end. Though, Raphael isnt a companion, so would he have something similar to idk a minor companion like Halsin or Minthara, who don't really have that much of a diversion (I think) in their endings, they don't really have the option, only really if the player decides to be evil or not, they kinda just follow them either way, it doesn't really impact their own stories. Obviously, I would prefer something with nuance but also, HE ISN'T A COMPANION 😭 and pressingly some of the companions need more work done than he does atm lol. Maybe that's me just projecting lol, once again, me wanting to have my cake and eat it too, anyway, that's me done... for now lol

[ggyutarist]

A Mask, Bedecked in White Crystals ✧˖°.

(Halloween Special!)

💫: Beomgyu x GN Reader

Content: Masquerade ball and you dance with Beomgyu yahay!! Strangers to ??? to enemies.

‼️: Use of knife (but no one is stabbed). Slight cursing.

WC: 2.1k (oh my god i yapped.)

A/N: hehe short (not short) halloween special!! all i ever write about is beomgyu lmfao sorry. this is lowkey cliche and lame but like…who cares..ykyk. Its fine. Idk if this counts as halloween lols. Not sure if I should tag it as fluff or angst. Well its not fluff so angst ig?? But its not rlly sad. I think?… idk you guys give the verdict. not proofread sorry😞 (bru gotta put this below here bc its too long and yall wont see the actual summary help)

The annual All Hallows’s Eve Ball has arrived once again. Hosted on the 31st of October, the lavish and fancy would be invited to come in the most extravagant gowns and suits. They would be encouraged as well to adorn their faces with masks that were dipped in saturated colors.

Too saturated, you thought. You managed to bag yourself an invite, not that it was difficult. You were always invited every year. It’s just this year, you have to attend. Let’s say…there’s a few matters that needs to be addressed. 

Though, back to the topic at hand, how do these overly bright colors not hurt anyone’s eyes? Some of them will be far too egoistic and come in the most obnoxiously fancy dresses you’ve ever seen. They act as if they’re attention-seeking harlots who constantly need eyes at them or else they’ll die. You tsk at the behavior of some people but it is what it is, unfortunately. The world was doomed from the very start so might as well get rid of those who make it worse.

Twisting the glass in your hand, you bring it up to your face to watch the drink whirl around. Well, it was certainly a better taste than last year. A bit more sweeter side but still leaving a strong taste on your tongue. Despite all this, you yawn due to your lack of interest in this ball. It’s the same thing every year, honestly. No wonder why people usually bring a plus one. The inexorable desire of humans for connections with others, you sigh at it. Let’s be real here. They’re just setting themselves up for a heartbreak. Let it be a heartbreak from the betrayal of a romantic interest—or fallouts from friendships.

You gave up on those long, long ago. Why would you or anyone for the matter, set themselves up for a relationship that’s bound to fail? That’s just blatantly stupid. You wouldn’t blame them if it were their first time, of course. How would they foresee that? A second time would be understandable because we all give second chances in life. A third is questionable but still tame. Maybe they’re just too desperate for that person. A fourth and beyond though…now that’s just wrong. They must be let go of. Before long, they’ll just do more harm than good.

But maybe, in this world where trust is lost easily, there are just some who turns out to be overly desperate. Perhaps, they lost everything to the point that this certain someone is their only reason left to live.  You made sure to never stoop down that low. You learned to live for no one else but yourself. Looking around, guess not all learns that. It was difficult, yes, considering you valued others’ worth more than your own but this world is just shit, okay? It’s just really that bad that you lost all care for the rest of them. This world is so, so big but others just make it seem so small and suffocating. It’s like they’re stealing all the air for themselves and leaving the rest to collect dust. 

Who knows? It could be the reason you ended up with a job like this. To rid this world of mistakes and burdens. No, not those who feel like a mistake and burden. We’re all insecure at some point in life, it’s okay. The only ones you shall discard of would be those who proved themselves as a hindrance to the bettering of this earth. Are you evil for this? Perhaps, depending on the person asked. If you were to answer this…it’s simple. You are merely a human getting rid of evil counterparts. 

The line between good and bad may seem to have blurred but it’s alright. Whatever brings the saving of this world, you will do. Even if it throws a few morals out the window. I mean, what’s the bad thing here? Disposing of, mind you, evil people? Without them, this place we live on will be so much better. What’s the reason to keep them? They’ll only make everyone’s lives miserable. But of course, not all sees through that. That’s why you’re here. You will so graciously lend your services and discard of them. Throw them to the fires of hell and make them repent for their sins.

You’re not Satan on earth, no. You only serve as the bridge between earth and hell. You guide these low-lives and then let the demon decide of their fate down there.

The sudden music change brings you back to this earth that you dread so much, snapping you out of your thoughts. You sigh, looks like everyone’s going for a dance. You can’t be bothered so you resort to staring down at your drink again, hidden away in some corner. Your mask slips off the bridge of your nose, prompting you to push it back up again. Once you do so, you lift up your head to find someone approaching you. Okay…that’s bad. You didn’t want to attract any form of attention on you so why is this guy going here??

He stops a few feet away from you and gracefully bows a 90 degrees. While keeping still, he holds out his hand, eyes peeking out of his masked face to yours as a silent invitation. You contemplate. Well, this is certainly random…but why the fuck not? He seems nice. Did a bow, left space between you two, and he’s pretty. Yes, there’s a mask but shhh. It’s quite obvious he’s pretty under that…thing that’s covering his face. Not like this was against the rules for you. All you had to do was do the job properly. This won’t be an inconvenience, right?

You press your fingertips against his own before sliding your hand down to his palm. He wraps his fingers around your hand and pulls you close. You take note of how warm his hand seems to be. It could just be you though. Been a while since you’ve done this so your skin could just be burning up from the close proximity. Right?…

You come back, once again, to earth as you feel your hand being lifted up to the air. You turn your head towards him and sees him give you a thin-lipped smile with whisker dimples.

Cute…

You’re seriously not falling for a stranger right now, are you? You mentally shake your head and prop your other hand on his shoulder, likewise his hand found itself on your waist. He guides you both to join the rest on the dance floor, full of dresses twirling and shoes clacking against the polished floor. 

And so…you danced. Miraculously, you haven’t stepped on each other’s shoes yet or rather you on his. He seemed experienced, decently enough that is. You managed to follow his footwork to the beat of the notes, spinning around at just the perfect time. He stretched out his arm before pulling you back to him again, trapping you both in a constant spin.

While the world was nothing more than a motion blurred, he remained the center of your vision. It’s only been a good amount of minutes, so why does it feel like you knew him since forever? The way the hands feel familiar, the way you somehow recognize his smile…why? You seem to can’t wrap your head around it. Nevertheless, you dance. The dance feels so heavy now that you get some sort of deja vu around this person. What could it possibly be? What—

You feel an elbow bump into you. Turns out you two were too absorbed in this dance that you fell behind the rhythm of the others. You watch him bow his head quickly, muttering a sorry to the other pair before turning his head to whisk you away.

It could be you. It could really be you but you just can’t seem to miss the mole that lies on his cheek. There’s no way. There’s just simply no way it’s him. You glance up to his eyes, ones that still looking away to find you both a space on this crowded dance floor. His lashes, it can’t be missed. They’re considerably longer than most people. So…could it be him?

You grip his hand tighter and start leading the dance yourself. Just trying to see something, you keep that repeating in your mind. You start taking the dance a bit too seriously, making him amused at the contortion of your face to focus. A giggle emits from his lips and your heart drops. Full on drops to the pit of your stomach. That giggle is too recognizable. You quickly look for a secluded place and led him there. Obviously, he’s extremely confused like haha…why are we going behind a random pillar at the side of the ballroom?

Each step broke a piece of your heart. How? How could’ve you fallen for him again? Is this not the same person who continuously broke your damned heart? Even as a stranger, you still managed to somehow keep a memory of him with you. Despite him leaving, you still held desperately onto that red thread that connects you and him. What you only realized far too late was that…yours was tied to your pinky in a pretty bow. While him? He held onto the other end with a loose grip. Pfft, he only needed you for his own selfish reasons.

You scoffed. You scoffed at your own stupidity. Maybe, perhaps…you weren’t as different as any other. In this world, we are all humans who are doomed to have this trivial shit called feelings. The desperation, at this point, is inevitable. The longing, as much as you hate to admit it, is rooted deep into your heart. You can’t dig it out as much as you want to. The only best thing you could do is keep piling things on it till it’s out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. Just pray…it won’t get unearthed somehow.

Unfortunately for you, that’s what happened today. All your memories with this…bastard…got unearthed when it’s meant to be buried deep into your soul. It’s heavy to carry but whatever gets it out of the way. 

You still liked him. You still liked him.

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes but you stop it. You cried too many times over him to the point you learned how to dry it without excessive blinking. Never again shall you show such a weak and pitiful side of yourself. It only brings hurt than comfort. A place filled with numbness…is better than a place filled with hurt and no one to provide you comfort.

You pulled him in behind the pillar along with you. All sense of love and genuine contentment from the dance are gone. No, you will not let him give you empty promises of happiness again. So to avoid that, you turn him around forcefully and shove him up against the pillar, eliciting a pained groan from him. 

He opens his mouth to retort but before that even happens…

You slowly bring out something sharp, something meticulously cleaned just for this situation that is unfolding before you. You slide the spine of the knife against his back, not sharp enough to cut skin but definitely enough to create goosebumps. You giggle at the tensing of his body and breath hitching, making you all the more tempted to slide the sharp object down his spine.

To the floor, the shadow of you two may seem like you’re still absorbed in the dance you’re sharing with him. A strange yet familiar feeling blossoming in your chest to which the dance attempted to pour out. But to the wall, the shadow consists of you trapping him with no way out with a weapon against his back. One wrong move from him and the said weapon will take his precious life. You’re certain he wouldn’t want that but just to be sure…

You lean in and whisper a moniker that maybe not all who attended this ball know. Maybe he wanted to be known by a less common appellation but that wouldn’t work on you.

“You and your cowardice. Going after a fake name still?”

You’re met with an unnerving silence. Though, you digress. This continued silence just proves all the more that you found him. You drag the knife up his back painstakingly slow. Once it reaches the back of his head where the strings lie, you slash it in one fell swoop. A mask, bedecked in white crystals, falls to the ground with a thud. That mask no longer belongs to him; just like his dignity.

“You know you’re done for once you see me, Choi Beomgyu.”

A/N: happy halloween!!😸😸 (we’ll ignore the fact that idk what i was writing). this one sucked so badly but its aight. consider it a cliffhanger so…potential part 2…if you guys want.

rushed bc gotta post on actual halloween😔

[max1461]

Here's my other problem with tumblr discourse: even when I make the context/intended interpretation of a post really explicit, people ignore this context and respond to it in like... for lack of a more charitable term, a discoursebrained way.

So a while ago I made a post about some ethical intuition I had, and at the top I put a huge disclaimer which said something to the effect of "this is just an expression of my feelings, it's not meant to be a philosophically airtight position, please don't take it as such", followed by a readmore and then the actual post. Why did I do that? Because I figured that if I didn't, people would nitpick it in various technical ways that missed the basic point. Lo and behold several people still did that, and when I replied basically restating the disclaimer, one of them said "oh I didn't even see that. Well I think if you post a half-baked thought online I retain the right to nitpick it".

I guess that's true. My blog is public. But the point is that I want to use my blog for certain things and not others, right, that's what I'm attempting to do. And people seem actively resistant to my attempts to guide the discussion on my blog in certain directions, which makes blogging less enjoyable. Of course some people will always do that, that fact doesn't bother me, but it feels like the irrelevant/point-missing discourse so often overshadows the meaningful discourse that I start to feel less of a desire to put in the effort.

Like, the point of issuing that disclaimer was to say, as explicitly as I could manage, "I am trying to have a discussion about feelings and intuitions here, I am aware there might be ways these intuitions are not fully consistent, but that is not the discussion I'm trying to have". But even so explicit an attempt to specify a conversation topic does not work; the discourse machine demands a certain kind of engagement and that is the engagement every post will get no matter what.

I don't want to put the person who missed my disclaimer on blast: it's honestly an error that anyone could make and on its own it's no big deal. If said person is reading this: you didn't do anything wrong and I am not mad at you, to be 100% clear.

It's not a one-off mistake that bothers me, it's the fact that this is how discussions on here so often go that putting in the effort to discuss things productively often feels wasted.

Another example of this that... if you go through my #society tag, you will see a lot of uncertainly in my phrasing. You will see me say a lot of "it seems like we should..." and "we should find some mechanism to..." and so on and so forth. Why? Because, as I've mentioned before, I've gotten a lot out of political discourse on here. When it's good, I actually find it quite good. But it's good when it has a constructive or collaborative tone, when I am bouncing ideas or thoughts back and forth with someone. Generally I am trying to invite this kind of discourse.

Sometimes, again, I say it really explicitly. I don't have them off the top of my head, but I know there are quite a lot of #society posts where I've said something quite straightforwardly to the effect of "here are some niche social/political issues I've been contemplating, does anyone have any ideas for how to respond to them". Obviously there's a spectrum in how explicit I am about this, but even when I'm really clear, most of the responses I get are still "discoursebrained", in the sense that they seem antagonistic and generally more interested in saying "X guys are cool and Y guys are lame" than in productively engaging with a set of ideas.

Even if you disagree with my claims or my premises, there is a way to state that which adds to a conversation instead of shutting down a line of inquiry. I am always trying to invite this type of mutually-productive discussion, and I so rarely achieve it.

Over the years my methods have changed. I come from a background of like, forums for specific nerd interests. Those places are plenty contentious, full of plenty of drama and disagreement. But ultimately, I always still felt that productive discussion was valued above destructive discussion; that because we were all united in a common goal of [doing our nerdy hobby], a comment where you build on someone's idea to say something useful to others or to introduce a new insight was generally valued above one where you just said "you're wrong for such and such reasons, hah!" or even "you're right for such and such reasons".

Coming from this background, I assumed this would also be the case on tumblr, and that I would not have to put in any extra effort to invite this sort of discourse. Alas, this was not true; even long and thought-out replies from respected discoursers often just amount to "here are the guys I agree with and here are the guys I disagree with, for such and such reasons". This is lame and boring and not appealing to me.

So over the years I've tried to be more and more explicit about what types of discussion I am trying to have, I've tried to tee up the sort of interactions I want as much as possible, but it hasn't really worked.

The problem is not strictly the quality or measuredness of the responses or their tone or anything like that. These are the things most people focus on when they critique the discourse, but I think they miss the point. The problem is that most responses don't seem to be intended to advance a mutually-productive discussion, they don't build on the base of what they are responding to, they just make various assertions and statements of allegiance in the vicinity of the material they are responding to and call it a day.

Maybe this is too harsh. I'm sure I do this too. And it's not always bad. Sometimes I use someone else's post openly as a jumping off point to elaborate my own ideas (although I try to be careful about this, and also make it somewhat clear that I am doing it), and this can be productive. I do actually want to hear people's ideas. It's not any single instance of these things I'm complaining about, it's just that discoursey responses seem to drown out all other types of discussion, even when you are really clear about what type of discussion you are trying to have.

So that's my complaint.

[seramilla]

Ok another AU: basically the deal between Stolitz but make it Seramilla

Overlord Carmilla finds out that Angelic Weapons can be remade with the proper conditions and starts collecting the ones that the Exorcists leave behind. No one in Heaven knows that Heaven-made Weapons release a Holy Energy that acts like radiation to demon kind. If left out long enough the Holy energy purifies its surroundings, killing anything "unholy" within its radius and leaving the metal unable to perma-kill sinners.

Sera finds out about the new Demon Overlord that's been collecting the weapons and sets up a private meeting with them, fearing that they'll try to use the Weapons against Heaven. She doesn't tell Lucifer exactly why she needs to talk to this Sinner but Lucifer agrees all the same. When they meet, Sera is gay panicking hard and can't get her thoughts in order. Carmilla on the other hand, knows EXACTLY why she was called here and, fearing for the safety of her girls and people, she offers to do anything for Sera.

Sera short-circuits, but thankfully recovers quickly and in a haze, offers to allow Carmilla to keep and continue collecting the Exorcist Weapons only if Carmilla agrees to sleep with her. Carmilla is shocked and a bit indignant at first, but after thinking it over decides that her body and dignity is a small price to pay for her family's safety and prosperity. So, once a month, Sera will open a portal to Carmilla's place (wherever she feels is secure) and Carmilla will go to Heaven for their "agreement". And hey, who knows? maybe if Carmilla does a "good job" Sera might even give her new heavenly ores to plays with. Sera can't leave as it would alert both the Elders and Lucifer that an angel has left Heaven and entered Hell.

And just like that, with Sera still not completely there or thinking clearly and Carmilla accepting her fate, the deal between Seraphim and Overlord is signed.

Sera would feel guilty for basically forcing Carmilla into this deal later, but Carmilla is just so good at this Sera can't bring herself to end it.

I changed it up a bit. Sorry, not sorry. Brazen Carmilla just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let me go until I wrote it this way.

When Sera discovers that one of Hell's most powerful overlords has been capitalizing on all the angelic weapons left behind after the Exterminations, Sera hadn't been expecting her to be so...beautiful.

Carmilla Carmine is nothing like she expected -- she'd thought someone gruff, warrior-like, and intimidating would show up to her office. This woman before her is calm, confident, and resonates a certain lackadaisical attitude about everything. Sera is almost offended that she seems more interested in all the books lining the shelves in her office, instead of the Seraphim sitting at the desk right in front of her.

"Ms. Carmine," Sera says, clearing her throat, trying to draw Carmilla's attention back to her. "This is a serious matter. Will you please pay attention?"

Carmilla continues to walk the line of bookshelves with her hands behind her back, standing perfectly upright with impeccable posture, before she eventually turns back to Sera, to give the angel the attention she so desperately craves.

"I don't really think we have much to discuss on the matter. You've given me no good reason to halt my machinations. This is my livelihood now. It's just business. Certainly you can understand that."

Sera sighs heavily, exaggeratedly so. This woman may have the demeanor of a mafia boss and the presence of a model on a runway, but she is also no slouch, and has not given Sera an inch ever since she agreed to an audience with her.

The Sinner is not even grateful that she'd invited her here, to her office in Heaven, and treated her to a day away from that literal Hellscape she calls home. Not even the promise of a day pass had been enough to get her to see reason.

"Certainly, Carmilla, you can see my point of view," Sera tries again. "I can't exactly have a Sinner confiscating weapons that have the power to pose a threat to my people. How do you think that makes me look in the eyes of the elders?"

"I fail to see how that's my problem."

Sera huffs out loud, unable to hide her frustration behind her mask of indifference any longer. This Sinner is getting under her skin like no one else has before. And if the way Carmilla is looking at her is any indication, with that shit-eating grin and casual way she just saunters over to Sera's desk and sits on the edge of it...she's quite enjoying herself, too.

Carmilla seems to sense Sera's unease. Looking the angel up and down, a mischievous smile spreads across her face. She slides across the desk, in an almost sultry, seductive fashion. She dangles her feet off the edge, right next to Sera, and swings them back and forth. Sera is a tall woman. Her desk is huge. Even Carmilla's feet can't touch the floor while sitting on it.

"You seem a little...tense," Carmilla says. Without warning, her hand slides slowly across the smooth, expensive wood beneath her, until three of her fingers just barely graze against Sera's. Sera gasps at the touch.

Then one of Carmilla's legs shifts to place itself invasively between her knees, spreading Sera's legs slightly. Sera's heart, or whatever she has that beats inside her chest, is now pumping a mile a minute. She gulps again. Carmilla leans in closer.

"How about I...help you out there?"

Sera's face immediately brightens several shades of gold. Faster than she thinks she's ever moved in her life, she leaps out of her chair and backs herself away from her desk...right into one of her bookshelves. Why does she have so many books??? Who needs this many books??? She keeps repeating this in her head, as her back hits the shelf of tomes, and she's trapped, and Carmilla quickly advances to close her body in against hers.

Sera holds out her hands in front of her, as if that will in any way protect her from the likes of Carmilla Carmine.

Sera starts rambling. She doesn't quite know what else to do, under the circumstances.

"You know, this is getting quite a bit...is it hot? I'm starting to feel it getting very hot--"

Sera gets cut off, as Carmilla Carmine practically slams her large clawed hand into the shelf next to her, causing a few books to fall and scatter all around them.

Sera almost scolds her, but she doesn't get a chance, because Carmilla takes the taller woman's arms within her grasp, turning her around, and not-so-gently pushing her back toward the desk, until Sera plops backward into her chair in a heap.

Sera is breathing hard at this point. From her chair, she has to look up at Carmilla standing over her, with the most delicious, predatory look adorning her features. Sera swallows, and tries to speak, and swallows again when she can't form the right words. The words that actually manage to come out are shaky, confused, and uncertain.

"What is--what are you doing to me?" Sera asks. In lieu of an answer, Carmilla stands directly in front of Sera. The overlord bends down, hands propped on the arms of the chair, until she's eye level with the Seraphim. She's looking at Sera's lips, not her eyes...like she wants to lean in and kiss the angel. Or eat her. Probably both.

"What do you want me to do to you?" Carmilla asks, with absolutely zero restraint or decorum in her question. It's like she doesn't even care she's talking to a Seraphim this way.

Somehow, Sera finds herself unable to care about that, either.

"I...uh...well..." Sera starts. The words are still escaping her. If she's honest, she's never been in this particular...position before. With anyone. Even the thought of someone coming on to her normally makes her want to vomit. But somehow, with this woman...everything she thought she knew about herself is subsequently flying out the window.

That's okay, though. Carmilla seems perfectly capable of speaking for the both of them.

"How about we...find a solution that works for both of us?" Carmilla suggests; she's so close now, that Sera can practically feel the heat of her breath on the sensitive skin of her face.

"What--what do you mean?" Sera asks. The grin on Carmilla's face only gets wider.

"I'll stop collecting angelic weapons left behind during the Exterminations," Carmilla suggests. "Instead, you start supplying them to me directly. Out of your own stores. Fresh ones. New ones. I can still protect and provide for my family. You get the elders out of your hair...they think you've done your job, that Hell is no longer a threat...and in return, I give you..."

Without warning, Carmilla finally does make contact with Sera's face, crushing their mouths together in a passionate, all-consuming kiss, one that makes Sera lose all sense of self and substance for several glorious seconds. It's Sera's first kiss, but obviously not Carmilla's. It's an out-of-body experience. The woman does so many delicious, mind-bending things with her tongue in Sera's mouth, that Sera can't help but whimper, when Carmilla inevitably pulls away.

"...That."

"That?" Sera repeats, confused about what has just transpired. "I get...you kissing me in return?"

"Or whatever else you would like. As a crafter of weapons, I'm rather proficient with my hands...as well as my mouth. But that last part has nothing to do with making weapons."

The insinuation is palpable. Carmilla rubs one large, clawed hand against Sera's cheek, with so much tenderness and gentle care, Sera almost forgets what those claws could do to her face, if she were to let her guard down.

Sera melts. The next words exiting her lips are completely out of character, against her will, and against all common sense. This woman must have her under some kind of spell. There's literally no other explanation for why she says what she does.

"Once a month," Sera starts, and when Carmilla looks at her confused, Sera extrapolates, "We get new shipments from the forge master once a month. I do this for you...you come here once a month to collect. And then we...umm, you can show me..."

Sera lets her thought linger in the air, but Carmilla understands. The overlord smiles. She nods. As if Sera needs any other reason to completely fall apart at the seams, Carmilla then has the absolute gall to sit directly in Sera's lap, and kiss her again. This time, with her arms wound tightly around Sera's neck, pushing her even further into her chair, until it starts to bow backward under their weight.

Carmilla swirls her tongue around in Sera's mouth again, and runs her fingers through Sera's long, voluptuous locks, for good measure. To give the disheveled Seraphim a preview of what to expect in the coming months. When she pulls away again, Sera's hair is a mess, and so is her face, with Carmilla's lipstick all over her cheeks and mouth. Sera's giving a sheepish, love-struck grin, and Carmilla can't help but smile back at her.

"Is it a deal, then?" Carmilla holds out her hand. Sera hesitates, knowing the implications of a deal with an overlord from Hell can be fraught with complications.

She weighs the risks in her mind, and comes to the conclusion that for her, it is worth it. Timidly, she takes Carmilla's hand and intertwines the demon's large claws with her delicate, human-like fingers. Even with Carmilla's strength and capabilities...nothing the demon could do to her would cause her permanent damage. Right? At the end of the day, the risk to her is relatively low. She's willing to cage that bet, if it means she can see Carmilla again.

So she shakes Carmilla's hand, accepting her fate, and Carmilla leaves with the promise of her return at the next full moon. Sera is left sitting in her chair, wondering and contemplating, who exactly is this woman she's entangled herself with, and what exactly she has gotten herself into now?

[alpaca-clouds]

Why do "conservatives" love the middle ages so much?

Let me talk about this one topic regarding the middle ages and how they are portrayed in pop culture, but especially how a certain subset of people are very, very loud about it. And I with that I mean conservatives, or - let's be honest - right wingers.

We all know "sword guys", right? As someone, who was for a time part of the LARP scene, I knew actually several "sword guys". Like, nerds that collect sword replicas, at times even armor replica and then spend their weekends running around and playing "medieval knight".

In of itself this is not a problem. Everyone needs a hobby, right? But... I think that sword guys are actually a good window into what is happening the entire thing with the conservatives/right-wingers and the middle ages.

See, whenever anything medieval related is released anywhere - no matter whether it is pseudo-historic or outright fantasy - there is gonna be a wholeass army of nerds who will then come along and decry all sorts of stuff that they do not like as "ahistorical".

You know. Stuff like women getting shit done, or being in a position of power. Queer people existing. Or people of color doing the same: existing.

And yes, in fact there is a whole subset of "nerds", who are very vocal about what can only be described a "mythic past". As in, a past that has never existed. This is not really a new phenomena. This is something that mostly has its origin in 19th century Europe and it is called Medievalism.

I am not really interested in going into the origins of medievalism and how it is connected partly to the romantic movement. All you need to know is, that the Nazis were really, really into it - as were other fascist movements in medieval Europe.

There is a reason for this, of course. And this is linked to one of the cores of rightwing mythologies: A very toxic nostalgia and the idealization of that mythic past. Which is, ironically, also closely linked to capitalism.

Let me explain: A core part of both conservatism and ideas that are even further right are based on the idea that they want to either conserve a status quo - or more likely return to a past status-quo. And this is something that became more attractive specifically to a certain subsect of men under capitalism.

Under capitalism most people kinda feel alienated from their work and even society. Because most people feel like there is not much use in what they do and their work is not valued in all the important ways. And let me be clear: This is true. And this was true from the very beginning of capitalism. The working class is exploited, was exploited and always will be exploited.

This is also one of the core reasons for why right wing ideologies are so attractive to certain people is, that they give them an easy scapegoat in all the minorities they are blaming for... everything. "No, the problem that you are exploited is not capitalism, it is a Jewish conspiracy!" - "No, the reason you feel so alienated is not capitalism, it is 'the woke mob'." And so on.

And here is where medievalism comes in. Because it provides these people with a fantasy for them. A time where all was right (from their point of view) and where they would have been honored and could have been heroes. A time when they would have been knights and would have saved their distressed damsel. A time at which the gays were hung or burned, in which there was no feminism and of course Black people did not yet exist.

Of course, the reality is that in the medieval times they would not have been a heroic knight, but a peasant working on the field or - if lucky - maybe a tradesman. They might have been called in to fight, but it would have been a rather miserable and not at all heroic affair.

But they want that fantasy of that past in which all of the problems, they perceive in the present, have not existed. A past, in which they would have been seen as more valuable than capitalism sees them. In which they would have been honored just for being white guys.

This is a past, that never existed. But they want to believe in it - because right wing ideologies of course do not offer them any actual solutions for their problem. Because again: Their actual problem is capitalism, and right wing propaganda exists precisely to distract from this fact.

[androgymagnus]

ohhh my god speaking of house md and brilliant minds comparisons. yikes. like. okay. i understand why people try to start with this. i truly do. i think if you're trying to communicate something you like about the show to someone who hasn't seen it, and you do that by relating it to a very popular medical drama, that's like. i get why you're doing that. but while there's a pretty good common thread here (ie, medical drama starring disabled doctor who will do anything to help his patients and his gaggle of diverse interns) it's.... largely surface level and reductive, because these are two very different shows other than that little logline.

like, their disabilities and how they're handled and what they mean to their characters and how they handle them are very different. (SO different i'm not even gonna get into it. but they serve different purposes you know?) the tone of the whole show is different--my god is the tone different. the shows are actively trying to do different things.

and like (this one deserves its own line) while i personally believe house is very empathetic and cares about his patients under All That, uh, All That still exists, and does not excuse any kindness he might have under All That, and All That is still a problem (ie yes he will go to any lengths to cure his patient but he will also call them and their whole family slurs. blah blah blah complex character motivations and trauma the effect is still bad no matter the cause) and anyway, that's just what i think from his characterization, generally, he is still incredibly rude and caustic and you could certainly argue for the reading that he actually cares about the puzzle, not the patient. and even if you, like me, believe he deeply cares about his patients even when he doesn't want to, he still largely focuses far more on their literal health than their feelings or lived experience in the hospital. he'll save your life but he'll be a dick the whole time. he'll make patients cry and not really care. meanwhile dr wolf cares about his patient's lived experiences, how they feel, not just their literal physical health. that is literally his entire approach: getting to know them as people, treating them with kindness and understanding when other doctors have brushed over them or signed them off as a lost cause. rather than any kindness/empathy being subtext or shown through certain actions, it's the text.

now, i'm not saying this makes dr wolf a better character than house (a better person, perhaps!) or even a more complex character, since again. they are very different characters serving very different purposes. house is a deeply fucked up little man dealing with very bad chronic pain, childhood trauma, probably repressed bisexuality but let's not go there, etc., and he lashes out. he's a complex character, he's sympathetic but not a victim, he's an asshole but often you like him anyway. wolf is serving a different purpose as a character--i'd say his speech about harold in the first episode really speaks to it. like. he cares, about things other doctors don't, that even house probably wouldn't (depending on the episode and season probably). he's got his own backstory, albeit one we don't know all of yet, that plays into how he interacts with people now and why he is the way he is.

like. agh. gestures frusturatedly. there are interesting contrasts one could make here between these two characters (for example: if we buy that house is deeply empathetic, he deals with this by not wanting to get attached to patients at all, refusing to see them directly, and treating them like puzzles, because when he does see them as a person it hurts more when they die; meanwhile dr wolf does the exact opposite and loathes the idea of seeing patients as their diseases, as a puzzle, but as a consequence gets maybe even too attached every single time, which, while admirable, can lead to burnout or just, you know, getting fired or being a bit single-minded with blinders on trying to save them), but ultimately, it's kind of apples and oranges (that previous parenthetical is fun and all but they have very different backstories and motivations and context and that's kind of just isolating one thing, you know?) and seeing people uncritically compare the two is at least mildly irksome. they have, again, wildly different backstories and motivations.

these shows are trying to do different things! neither one of them is better than the other (i think i'm enjoying brilliant minds more personally, although with only seven episodes out to house's eight seasons i think it's a bit of an unfair judgment to try and make objectively as of yet) because they are trying to do different things. they just happen to be medical dramas about a doctor who will do anything to cure their patient, which is, when you think about it, a very broad category. you could throw in 'and he's disabled!' but let's be real, their disabilities (and how they're handled and interact with the plot) are very different.

the point is, i understand why people make this comparison but i think it's a little reductive and misguided. but at the same time like, i get it, trying to get across something in an easy to understand way when you're trying to convince someone to watch the show, just--don't go giving them the wrong impression! if someone goes into brilliant minds expecting house md, and they like different things about that show than you did, they're gonna end up being disappointed

anyway, disorganized ramble: end. hope it somewhat made sense

[flanpucci]

Hirohiko Araki's Manga Techniques - Continued | Creating a villain from scratch ~ The boy who loves mushrooms (english)

(Taken from JOJO Magazine winter 2023)

[...]

Creating a villain from scratch ~ The boy who loves mushrooms

Kyouka is a character born from the already existing setting of Rohan and “Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan”. As I mentioned last time, normally you'd start with a "protagonist", and then create a "villain" in contrast to him. But even if you don't have a theme, story, or setting, you can think of a villain character on its own. I'd like to explain how to do this in a live performance style, creating a character sheet from scratch.

My first idea was a simple one. I happened to have some books about mushrooms on the bookshelf in my office, so I thought, "What about a boy who likes mushrooms?" and started to expand on the image of the character. This time it's mushrooms, but if I had seen a book about dinosaurs instead of mushrooms, I might have made a character of a "boy" who likes dinosaurs. In this way, I think it's good to start by taking inspiration from things that you're currently interested in or involved in.

Now, regarding the name of this villain character, I named him "Kinjiro". You can think of the name at the beginning, or you can decide on it after filling in the other sections. In my case, naming is a matter of intuition, and in terms of manga, I think readers will be more interested if it contains the character "kin" (fungus). If a mushroom had a cool name for example, using it would be a great way to make up a cool manga character name.

At this point, all that's been set and decided is that Kin Jirou is a "villain who likes mushrooms”. From here on, which section of his profile to fill in first will vary depending on each character, but this time I think that the "special skills" section is the most essential part of his character. So, in that section I’ll write "Has been interested in mushrooms since he was born, and knows everything about the mushrooms that grow in his hometown”, for example if they taste good, or bad, which seem obvious, but also maybe "Knows that there are mushrooms that grow here that will make you hallucinate, or erase your memory if you eat them", maybe even mushrooms that are deadly if you were to eat them, or mushrooms that will make your senses go haywire. In any case, although I’m an amateur when it comes to mushrooms, I’ll have to make it sound like I’m an expert, or rather someone who knows an unusual amount about all kinds of mushrooms, so when I draw them in the manga, I'll note “research needed” as to what kind of mushrooms are likely in that situation.

After that, I ask myself what to do with his face and physical appearance. I established that "It would be interesting if he was a little chubby," and "He could be slightly overweight," and built upon that to gradually create Kin Jirou's visual appearance in my head. The next important thing is Kinjiro's upbringing and environment. Family relationships form the basis of the character, so in the character sheets, I try to determine to a certain extent what kind of people his parents are and what kind of family he grew up in. Even if I don't actually draw it in the manga, if I have an image of the character in my mind, I can feel the character's blood flowing through his veins, as if he was really “there”.

Now, as for Kinjiro's father's occupation, it actually can't be just anything. Because, when you think about why Kinjiro became so fond of mushrooms, it's natural to think that he was born and raised in an environment that was somehow related to mushrooms. So, I came up with the idea of ​​his father being "head chef of a three-star restaurant." In this case, mushrooms would feel familiar since they’re used by his father as cooking ingredients, so it makes sense that Kinjiro would become a "mushroom lover." If this father had been an incredible, “achieving 2 Michelin stars in a row” kind of chef, people would think, "Kinjiro must have a complex about his father," or "They probably have a pretty twisted parent-child relationship," and that’s where the twisted side of Kinjiro’s personality would take shape.

Starting the story

We could set up other family members besides the father, including the mother and other siblings, but for now, the character Kinjiro is complete as long as he has a father, so we'll move on to the other sections. After the name, body type, special skills, and family relationships, the next essential thing we need to think about is "what does this character want to do?", that is, his "motivation." You can’t start a manga plot with just "Kinjiro, who loves mushrooms,", so we have to think about why would Kinjiro use his knowledge of mushrooms to do something. For a "good", hero protagonist, it is necessary to have a motive that readers can sympathize with and that is favorable in light of the reader's natural sense of morals, such as justice or friendship, but since Kinjiro is a villain, we can directly reflect basic human desires in his motives.

When thinking about Kinjiro's motives, I suddenly wondered, "Is this guy popular with girls?" Normally, it'd be hard to imagine a chubby boy who likes mushrooms being popular, but maybe it would be interesting to imagine him as "surprisingly popular with girls." What kind of girl would Kinjiro be aiming to make his girlfriend? For example, what if there was a rich young lady who came to his father's restaurant almost every day, and he started to like her for some reason... I thought a bit about it, and wrote a memo that says “Wants the rich young lady to be his girlfriend”, “His father’s customer”, and “Desire”.

Once you have decided on this, all that remains is to come up with ideas for schemes and tactics for Kinjiro to achieve his goal of "making the young lady his girlfriend." From what I've researched a little, mushrooms have a network of mycelium, like a web that connects them to each other, so he could use that to trap the young lady, or Kinjiro could discover a secret mushroom that no one knows yet, and put it in the food the young lady will eat. Depending on your imagination, there are an infinite number of possibilities. You could also research mushrooms in science magazines and use any interesting ideas you find. At this stage, it's important to just keep coming up with ideas, like "What about this?" or "Maybe we can use this too." Even if something doesn't seem relevant at first glance, it can suddenly become necessary as the story moves forward.

If we think about it in JoJo terms, the story could unfold like this: One day, Kinjiro realizes that he has a special ability that lets him induce hallucinations from the sauce on leftover dishes from customers at his father's restaurant. Therefore, he tries to use that ability to make the young lady his girlfriend... This Kinjiro is becoming more and more dangerous (lol).

Slowly and steadily refining the character sheet

Just by deciding on the spot that Kinjiro "likes mushrooms”, and filling in the main items of the character sheet, the character of Kinjiro is pretty much complete, but it only takes about 30 minutes to get to this stage. However, this is not the end. If this stage is half-baked, I could get into dead ends as I continue drawing the manga, so from here on, I’ll go back to refine it many times.

When I meet with my editors, I get comments like "I don't really understand this" and "Wouldn’t it be good to include that?" on the personal history and ideas I've written, so I'll say "Well, how about doing it like this" and "No, I think that's not right" and solidify my ideas through repeated exchanges. If I were to show Kinjiro's personal history to the editor, I'm sure he would say, "Kinjiro's goal is to make this young lady his girlfriend, but what does he like about her?" and "What part of her makes her so great?", so I decided I had to make a character sheet for her too. Since I decided the young lady was "rich," fashion and academic background are elements of importance. I'll also carefully think about the episodes that explain why Kinjiro fell in love with her.

It would be fine to just say, "He fell in love with her because she was kind to him," but just like when I decided on Kinjiro's father's occupation, it's important to come up with ideas related to mushrooms as much as possible to fit the theme of "Kinjiro the mushroom lover.” There are many possibilities, such as the young lady being able to recognize the taste of mushrooms in the sauce very well, or Kinjiro was walking in a place where mushrooms grow and the young lady happened to come by and he liked some kind of behavior or gesture from her very much. After that, if you create the character of the father, which is the key, you can make more and more stories.

Since Kinjiro is a villain, the natural progression of the story is that he’s "heading towards trouble," and if we are to make Kinjiro the “main villain”, or villain main character, we must have him confront a character who stands in his way. His antagonist could simply be a detective, but if it was someone in his family, the suspense would be heightened. It could be his grandmother who is always watching what he does and thinks “Hm? Something’s wrong with Kinjiro”, or maybe if the father became suspicious of Kinjiro's actions, then the head chef of a three-star restaurant with a genius sense of taste would become the enemy, and I think he would be a pretty big obstacle for Kinjiro.

What we must not forget at this time is that the basic pattern of characters in shonen manga, independently of if they are heroes or villains, is that they have to "grow". That's why the characters are always forward-looking, and why the all villains in “JoJo”, Dio, Kira Yoshikage, and President Valentine for example, affirm their own "evil" and walk their own path without worrying. Characters who grow in this way clash strongly with each other, which is what makes the battles interesting.

The fate of manga that even its creator cannot resist

The process I've written so far is something I've done all  throughout my career as a manga artist, and I always create the enemy characters in “Thus Spoke Kishibe Rohan" this way. If I were to continue making Kinjiro's story into a real manga, the opening would definitely focus on how much Kinjiro loves mushrooms. If I were to quickly finish that and move on to the next story, readers would probably think, "This is a story about a boy who loves mushrooms, so draw more about mushrooms!" In other words, Kinjiro's story is all about "loving mushrooms."

Last time, I said "All elements are created simultaneously," the four foundation pillars of a manga - "characters," "story," "setting," and "theme" - are naturally decided as the characters are created. In the case of Kinjiro, he is a character who has a close relationship of cause and effect with mushrooms, so if the story and setting do not integrate this, the manga will feel strange. For example, it’s not possible to suddenly decide that "Kinjiro is actually very good at soccer" and turn it into a sports manga, and in that sense, even if the author thinks despite everything, "I want to include a story about soccer after all," he cannot do as he pleases. In other words, by making Kinjiro a character who "loves" mushrooms, it is the fate of a manga in which Kinjiro appears to be "a mushroom manga." I think it would be possible to take advantage of this, set the stage in some fictional world, and depict the mushrooms in a fantasy setting kind of style.

When drawing manga, you must be careful not to deviate from what might be called the "rules" of that manga. If you feel like something is off while drawing, you are probably drawing something superfluous, that is outside the “rules”. If you’re tempted by thoughts like “If I want my manga to sell, I should include a character like “XX” from that worldwide hit”, or if your editor tells you to aim for something that would sell better, I recommend that you consider whether or not that will be a fit for the manga you are currently trying to draw. In most cases, it will probably not fit, but when that happens, you should be confident and properly depict the fate of the manga you are trying to draw. Even if you are worrying “Will the world accept such an ordinary and ugly character?”, I think as long as the manga's "four foundation pillars" are properly integrated, it will actually turn out fine. Generally, I don't think that popular manga artists really understand whether their work will be a hit or not when they’re drawing it.

From the basics to an original manga: Aim for the royal road of manga!

I mentioned this last time, but I'm sharing my creative techniques, knowing that it may be detrimental to me, because I think it would be a shame for talented aspiring manga artists to give up their hopes without knowing about these things. However, when I say "my creative techniques," I don't mean to convey my own unique know-how; I'm trying to explain the universal "royal road" that is common to many "masterpieces" of novels, movies, and manga.

The contents of "Manga Techniques" and "Manga Techniques - Continued" can be said to be like a "guide" for walking the "royal road". In order to reach your destination, you don't necessarily have to follow the map, but rather, I think it is important to find your own path and reach a place no one has been before. Deliberately go off to the side to see a different view, or discover that "there was another way to get there". In the event that you get lost, look back at the map, confirm where you are standing now, and determine how to get back on the right path. " Manga Techniques" and " Manga Techniques - Continued" are there for that purpose, so if you use what is written here as an instruction manual to draw manga, you will not be able to draw something great.

To conclude, I'll give you one more hint to help you walk your own path with this map in hand. I think you can pretty easily achieve drawing a great first manga if you take inspiration from your life experience, and draw the world you know firsthand. However, from the next one onwards, it won't be that easy. That's why it's important to take in things you don't know, especially what is being thought about in the world today, so to speak, the atmosphere of the times. Even if it's not directly related to manga, I think it's important to have an attitude of trying to learn about the times and society by reading the news every day. The reason is that the actions of characters are surprisingly related to the mechanisms of the world, and if you draw them without knowing anything about them, you often end up thinking, "Oh, something doesn't feel right." As I wrote in "Villains Need Philosophy," in order to properly depict the "evil" of villains, it is essential to know the times and society in which you live, and this is something I myself am studying while drawing manga.

"Manga Techniques" is a book that, frankly, puts me at a disadvantage, because it reveals trade secrets. "Manga Techniques - Continued" also reveals a lot of trade secrets, knowing it will put me at a disadvantage. In particular, the process of creating Kinjiro is pretty much exactly the process that I always go through while discussing with my editor. But the reason I am sharing my savoir-faire in this way is because I strongly hope that among those who read this, there will emerge a manga artist who creates a work that will completely change the world. If one day I come across something that I really want to say, maybe I'll continue talking about it somewhere.

(Translation by Flanpucci)

[ewingstan]

The Love Lost interlude was interesting. The flashback to interrogating Jen seemed to be establishing that Nicole was, even before everything, operating on certain specific beliefs and resulting frustrations. She saw the world as filled with people who aren't people but monsters, and was frustrated at how little she could do about it. She couldn't "stop all the bad guys," resented the misconduct statutes that slowed down her ability to send "monsters" to jail, and was at least somewhat aware that punishing them after they already hurt people accomplished little.

All of which helps explain her obsession with Rain: she sees him as an especially heinous monster who's escaped punishment too long. Not dealing with him and the other monsters would be compounding her failures, and the fact that killing him wouldn't accomplish anything doesn't matter that much, since she didn't really see it as accomplishing anything back when she was a cop.

The oddity is how she sees herself as working with another monster to "save the world." Firstly because Rain doesn't seem world-threatening, though maybe she's talking about the Mathers more generally. The whole of their plan still isn't clear to me, I'm not sure why they needed to attack the Navigators. But the bigger thing is that she sees Cradle as a monster, and it seems like the text agrees with her even in a way it didn't for Jen.

And its somewhat weird for the text to agree with that "some people are monsters" framing when this whole chapter is pretty clear that its wrong. Its earlier use in the flashback seems to be purposefully positioning it as wrong and dangerous:

Nicole describing people as inherently monstrous is first given in the context of a cop deciding someone must be guilty, and falsifying evidence on that basis. Its introduced as being part-and-parcel with police misconduct. And later parts pose it as something borderline fascistic:

She sees certain criminals as "not having reasons," as if they're savages who do violence because of some automatic, atavistic urge. Instead of, you know. Doing crimes to get money/revenge/safety/etc. People usually have reasons for doing things. But the fact that she thinks some people don't, and that she uses such a politically charged word as "degenerate" to describe such monsters, all signpost that Nicole is following an overly simplistic ideology with horrific ends. Even if she sees herself and Nailbiter as "very similar people at different points in their journeys," she sees the latter as someone who needs to die.

Then there's the whole Colt thing, that Colt was distressing to Nicole because she straddled the line between "innocent child" and "monster" and her becoming a parahuman pushed her in one direction rather than Colt's own autonomous choices. Colt has from the start been an example of people doing stupid harmful things for understandable reasons, and Nicole recognizes that as a burr in her worldview.

But then the reveal that Cradle has been manipulating the cluster and literally turning them evil for his own ends. Which admittedly I still don't understand at all. Though part of that is that I don't understand Nicoles side either; she wanted to kill all the "rule-breaker capes" but also said that stopping kids from getting into capedom was a worthy goal, and whatever she thought they were doing with March I completely missed. But the last paragraphs of Cradle revelation suddenly reinforces what the rest of the chapter so persistently (and often skillfully) tried to argue against vis-a-vis some people just being monsters. I'd typically say that this means that we have to be due for a humanizing look at Cradle, but nothing I've seen from Wardblr indicates I'll get it. We'll see.

Part of the problem might just be the form of the story: a genuine ideological belief that no human is a true monster gets in the way of having a truly villainous villain. But I'm not sure why this story needed one.