#but itll be hard without knowing what he’s supposed to be

[actualori]

GUYS………..

[luvanniiee]

tonight

[ateez drabbles]

• pairings : ateez x gn!reader (individual though) hongjoong x reader , seonghwa x reader , yunho x reader , yeosang x reader , san x reader , mingi x reader , wooyoung x reader , jongho x reader

• synopsis: they work hard as idols to provide for you. they sacrificed a lot of things ……. even spending time with you. so this is what they do when they come home from touring!

• warnings : slight angst , smut mdni! , sex is mentioned but i dont go too much into detail. pet names, suggestive as fck,

• a/n : i hope you guys enjoy this , i might do a txt version or twice ! let me know! anyways thanks for all the support bookies !! okay ima not talk too much, just enjoy! oh wait also you might wanna listen to “tonight” by summer walker, that was the inspo for this!! okay byee

• story under the cut!

hongjoong

he had just come home from a 2 month tour. literally felt like hell for both of you. hongjoong felt like he couldn’t properly focus on his work , he missed you in more ways than you wouldve ever thought. but now he was home , in your arms. you cooked his favorite meal , and showered together , and put his favorite movie on, but he wasn’t interested in that. he was eyeing you like a piece of meat. take a picture , itll last longer. you said to him as you turned to him. im not interested in the movie anymore baby, i want you. i need you. please i just wanna make up for lost time. he said, need was dripping like honey in his voice. you felt your cheeks heat up. this was a first, usually you would be the one who was desperate for a touch. but he seemed like he would explode in the next 2 seconds if he didnt feel some sort of you. ive been on the road too long , tonight i wanna have good fun! he said as he pushed you down on the couch.

after playing catch up , you were left with drool coming from the sides of your mouth , legs shaking , and hongjoong still wanting more

seonghwa

you pace to get ready , seonghwa is coming home today. normally you would be happy, well you are happy that hes coming home, and he’ll be able to touch you the way youve been trying to touch yourself. but thats what your scared about. see prior to this , you broke one of his rules. absolutely no touching unless 1. youve asked and 2. hes given you permission. you were on the phone with him, and hes busy talking about how excited he was to see you, until you let out a small moan on the phone. what was that? he asked. oh..uh..nothing! you said. i hope my baby isnt touching themselves without daddy’s permission. he teased, he knew you were touching yourself to his voice. so he told you that he was going to punish you for breaking a rule. and thats how you are in this situation now. just then the door opens, revealing an angry and horny seonghwa. he only stepped forward to close the door behind him. his eyes burning holes through yours. oh…hey baby… you said trying to ease some tension. is that my name? do you need me to remind you honey? does daddy need to teach you a lesson and punish you? he said in a teasing low tone.

after that, you were covered in love marks, tears , sweat , legs are shaking hard from the times hes made you cum over and over. but after it all, he still kissed you and gave you the best aftercare ever, and even told you about the things hes seen while on tour until you fell asleep in his arms.

yunho

normally, yunho doesnt make the first move. but being away from you for 2 months really drove him crazy. you and yunho were supposed to be playing a board game. but as you were moving your peice, you kinda realized that the game was no longer yunhos interest. his eyes were on yours, eye fucking you. he wanted to fuck you as soon as he stepped in the house. but he dared himself to see how long he can go before actually losing his mind. you okay? you asked. he nodded lightly then stood up to walk over next to you. he started to kiss your neck leaving marks on you. fuck i cant hold back anymore. yunho moaned out as he laid you down. he leaned over you and started kissing you. soon it turned into a lazy makeout. then you started to thrust your hips forward for an ease in the ache between your legs. fuck baby please. please let me make up for lost time. he said as he looked in your eyes. it only took a nod for him to go absolutely insane.

afterwards, he cleaned you up. did you still wanna play the game? you asked. not really , but i do wanna play with you again. he smirked. one hell of a night for both of you.

yeosang

although he has a reserved and calm demeanor, on the inside yeosang knew he has too pent up to be calm. there was a welcome home dinner for him. his parents and yours all at one table, welcoming yeosang home from his tour. it literally took everything in him to not kick everyone out and have his way. the way you looked as you took a sip of your drink, the way you would lick your lips clean, it drove him up the wall. excuse me. he said as he excused himself out of the room. he went to the bathroom to wipe his face. he had to do something to distract himself. just then you opened the door and the. locked it behind you. you want it as much as i do dont you? he said. you just stepped forward and kissed him. it didnt take long until he was stripping himself and stripping you too. you both started to feel on each other. then he bent you over the sink, and forced you to look in the mirror.

after that you walked out, both parents gone. but there was a note. ‘if yall are gonna fuck, at least have the decency to give us the boot.’ both of you visibly embarrassed but laughed it off later.

san

you and san were just chillin on the couch. tv was background noise at this point. both of you wanted to so desperately feel each other after a long time. but the thing is, you both want to see who will cave first. san was the dominant one in this relationship so obviously hes gonna try to out wait you and make you cave first. you just wanted to push his buttons. you looked at his side profile, admiring the way his jaw would tense here and there. he took a deep breath and looked at you. you know you want me baby. he teased. you knew if you touched him first, you would not only lose a bet but you would be in for a shitload of teasing. oh san, youve been gone for 2 months, all pent up. only having to use your hand to relieve yourself. i had a vibrator. so i think you need me more. you cocked back. your reply shocked him but it also made him mad. so all he did was pull his pants down, licked his hand and started pumping himself. you cant lie, you really wanted to taste him. but youll be teased.

fuck it. you decide and replace his hand with your mouth.

you should play this game more often, you thought.

mingi

mingi has just come home that day. you and him spent the entire day hugging and kissing each other. you couldnt get enough of him, you missed his scent. so when night time came, it was about dinner time. you cooked his favorite food and you even volunteered to clean the dishes. but he insisted that he helped you. so you didnt turn him down and as you washed he rinsed. you started to lean over the sink to relieve some of the pressure in your lower back. so water was splashing on you as you washed. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. the way your hands were moving in the water, the look of concentration, it was a bit much for him. it took a lot for him to restrain himself from doing you right then. so he waited until later that night.

baby… mingi would whine. yes? you replied. please, i need you to touch me. i miss your body so much. please i cant hold back anymore. he confessed. who were you to deny him? so you started by kissing him slowly, then marking him, touching him softly. he couldnt take this slow pace much longer. baby… i cant wait. he moaned slightly. so he flipped you on your back, he starter to grind his hips into you to relieve some pressure. you both moaned at the contact. want this? please tell me you want me as much as i need you. he whined. it turned you on because of how submissive he sounded. you nodded and thats all it took for him.

after that, he started to talk about how good the tour was, how much fun he had with his bandmates, all while youre laying there with your legs shaking like crazy, and your eyes could barely stay open.

wooyoung

this man just couldnt wait to hear you. wooyoung had some friends over, but he was starting to regret it. the more he sat next to you, inhaled your scent, it made him crazy. there was a movie on, and all his friends were watching it. you tried to watch, but all his teasing touches were really distracting you. sometimes his hands would slide a little too close to your pussy. you let out a loud sigh that sounded almost like a soft moan. his friends would glance occasionally, but wooyoung would tell them that it was because you were “yawning because your tired”. but soon after all the teasing, he finally touched you. he started to rub you, drawing small quick circles over your clit. you had to excuse the moans that would slip a little as a yawn or something. but when he started going faster, you couldnt contain it anymore. so you put your head in his neck, and bite down softly to quiet yourself. wooyoung could hear your small moans and whimpers as you came on his fingers.

in the dark it looked like you were resting your head in him. if only they knew about the dirty things that were happening under the cover you had across your lap.

jongho

it all starterd with a facetime call. you were wearing one of his shirts. he was on his way home from the airport when you started teasing him. flashing him and giggling afterwards, or moaning his name, just teasing him to the point of no return. but when he got home, it wasnt funny anymore. all the teasing you did to him made him sexually frustrated. the smile on your face disappeared when he opened the door and said strip. you wanted to retaliate but there was no way you were gonna do that. no way you were gonna fuel his fire by bratting even more. so you did as told. bad girl, teasing me like that. jongho said. his voice was dripping with lust, making it deeper. it turned you on. im sorry, i just uh wanted to play a little. you said as your voice cracked a little. oh you wanna play? ill play with you. he said teasingly.

to make a long story short, one of the best nights you’ve had.

teehee

©️ luvanniiee on tumblr !!

[milo-igidk]

wanna talk abt like keefes anger and the way he handles it 

bc like there are very few instances in the series that keefe is like outwardly angry outside of his own pov. being raised in an emotionally abusive family can fuck you up real bad in the way you handle your emotions, thats without even putting into account the fact that hes an empath. like, that environment where you're constantly forced to push down any negative emotion because you know itll just make things worse for you, it can cause you to let it out in unhealthy ways, often times towards yourself.

i feel like he has so much anger and rage inside of him that he is forced to keep inside and he would rather ruin himself a hundred times over than let it out on someone he loves, and i have no doubt hes terrified of it. hes terrified of himself, of the thoughts and feelings that he has. and im trying really hard to like keep it in cannon and remember whats actually real but i know he has said that he, and i quote "has a major dark side" and that violence and blood doesnt really affect him the way that it does other elvesthe way its supposed to. some people just, are like that, they have dark, bad, violent thoughts, especially mentally ill ppl or victims of abuse. and on keefes side, his dad is a shitty abuser and his mom has killed enough people to be considered a serial killer, i dont think it would be a surprise if he himself had violent thoughts like those, thoughts and feelings that he doesnt act on but theyre still there.

idk what the point of the post is i just have thoughts that i worry are too obvious but then when i say them here ppl like them so ✨anggggsstt✨

[moonferry]

ISMHO CHAPTER 2????

omg.. hi guys i finally picked this back up Lol. bit of a shorter one but i think itll help set the stage for what comes next. also WHAAAT is this self indulgent samstar?? its more likely than u think.

ps u can find more about star over at @stars-mischief wink wonk

summary: after running off, sam is approached by a familiar face and receives some advice.

word count: 2108

warnings: none

ao3 link: here

other chapters: chapter masterlist

Eventually, exhaustion seemed to overtake him and he slumped under a nearby tree. 

How could he have said all those things? Sam wondered. How could he have been so careless, so selfish, so.. Angry? It wasn’t like him at all. He didn’t like it. Sam had just lashed out at two of his best friends, he had just smashed a guitar, and then promptly stormed off. He didn’t even know who he was anymore. It was… jarring, in a way. 

Sam didn’t realize how much he was counting on Kent’s presence. Nor did he realize just how much the lack of it would hurt. He ripped off his jacket and wadded it into a ball. It was just another painful reminder of everything he wished for: his father’s approval, his father’s praise, hell, even his father’s love, at times. He knew Kent loved him, he knew Kent had reasons for not coming, but neither of those facts made it hurt any less. 

From the time Sam was sixteen, he had cared for his younger brother in a way that he wished his father would’ve cared for him. And, even though he would deny it if you asked, a part of him would always be resentful for Kent’s constant absence. He was understanding, yes, and he knew why Kent continued to return to service, but Sam would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t wish that he could’ve enjoyed teenage years without worrying that his father may never return home. He would be lying if he said he didn’t spend several nights lying awake, staring at the ceiling, paralyzed by the fear of something happening to Kent. 

However, he did not hate his father. No, Sam loved his father more than anything in the world. He longed for his praise, his approval. When Sam was younger, he thought Kent was the coolest person in the world. A part of him still did, he supposed. Sam thought his father was insanely brave and truly admired him for what he has done. However, he wished that, just once, his father would choose their family over his profession. That his father would choose him. 

Don’t be so stupid, he scolded himself, that’ll never happen. 

Sam sighed and attempted to push the thoughts from his mind. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing down at the wad of fabric held tightly in his palms. It was a dark, faded denim, with holes near the collar and scattered all across the sleeves. It was tattered from age and constant use, but Sam couldn’t bear to replace it. The jacket, like many other things, had belonged to Kent. Sam wore it (and a small cluster of dog tags, belonging to Kent and two of his fallen comrades) almost every day. It made him feel closer to his father, in a way. Or at least it usually did. 

Now, holding the jacket in his hands, gently brushing his thumb across the coarse fabric, Sam felt the ever expanding distance between himself and his father. It seemed that,  no matter how hard he tried, his father was always out of reach and, if Sam attempted to reach out - to stretch farther and graze the man with his fingertips - Kent would move ever so slightly, expanding the distance between them once more. Oftentimes, Sam wondered if it was truly worth the effort. 

Busy with his thoughts, Sam did not notice the footfalls of a person approaching. He simply stared down at his hands, his mind swirling and swelling as he thought about how the day’s events had transpired. The only thing that seemed to garner his attention was a shadow that suddenly loomed over him, as if someone had walked in front of the light and were now peering down at him. It was accompanied by a soft, familiar voice. 

“Sam?” The voice asked, causing Sam to break out of his stupor. He looked up - expecting Sebastian or Abigail, or even his mother. However, who he saw was neither of those people. It was someone else entirely. A newer resident of Pelican Town - one who had moved in a few months prior to Sam’s concert. 

“Star?” Sam replied, bewildered. He glanced around at the remote area and then at the man who stood in front of him. He spoke once more, “How did you find me out here?” 

“Lucky guess,” he chirped. Sam raised an eyebrow, suspicious. Star simply chuckled, his mouth contorting in a faint grin. That was one of the many mysteries of Star A. Nonymous: whenever someone needed him, whether they knew it or not, he would appear. 

Sam looked up at him, squinting to see his features. He noticed the light carefully bouncing off of Star’s light blond waves, trailing down to his vibrant eyes before finally settling on the pale skin of his cheeks - dusting across them as if the light’s only goal was to caress every single freckle it found. Sam tore his eyes away, shifting his gaze to the cold, dark ground - he noted how it seemed to be contrasted by the vibrant teal and stark white coloring of Star’s converse. 

“What are you doing here?” Sam grumbled, staring intently at the dirt. He hadn’t intended for anyone to find him, least of all Star. It wasn’t that he disliked Star - quite the opposite, actually - it was simply the events of today, the emotions Sam had felt… it all terrified him. He wasn’t sure recognized himself and he certainly didn’t want to lash out at anyone else. 

“Mm,” Star started, pursing his lips together into a thin line. “I could ask you the same thing.” 

“But… I think I already know the answer to that question,” Star added, a small sigh slipping past his lips. He lowered himself to the ground, sitting a few feet away from Sam. 

Sam did not respond. A small wave of guilt had begun to creep over him. Star didn’t outright say it - he did not need to. Sam knew what Star was talking about - what everyone was talking about. He wouldn’t be surprised hundreds of people had shared the video by now. He could almost see the captions and headlines: “Goblin Destroyer’s guitarist and vocalist Sam Neilson smashes guitar in a fit of fiery rage”. He grimaced. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Star offered, giving Sam a kind, understanding look. Noting Sam’s silence, and how the man refused to meet his gaze, Star gave a curt nod and added, “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” 

“But.. I just want you to know that I’ll be here,” Star spoke once more. When the only reply was more silence, he looked away, though his voice remained kind and judgment free as he added, “Or.. if you’d rather me leave you alone, that’s fine, too.” 

Sam listened intently. Something about Star’s words - how concerned, yet free of judgment they sounded - beckoned him. Something made him want to tell Star - to open up, to dive into lines of thought he had long buried, to open old wounds long scarred over. That was another thing about Star, Sam supposed. His presence was understanding - comforting, even - and Sam found himself drawn to it. He couldn’t quite place it, but he knew Star would understand him better than anyone ever had. 

He told Star everything. 

Star listened in uncharacteristic silence, deeply taking in Sam’s words. When Sam had finished recounting the circumstances leading up to the performance - explaining how he orchestrated the whole thing for his father - Star gave another nod. 

“I see,” Star spoke finally, his lip forming into a slight frown. He looked at Sam, noting the frustration and sadness that he usually hid. It was rare to see Sam in this state - raw, achy, allowing himself to feel his own emotions - rather than stuffing them down or distracting himself with the problems of others. 

Star reached a hand out, slowly inching it towards Sam’s own - intent on giving him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. However, he wasn’t sure if he should and stopped a few inches short. He mumbled, “I’m sorry. That must be so frustrating.” 

“I guess,” Sam replied, shrugging his shoulders. He continued, “It doesn’t matter, though. What’s done is done. He wasn’t here. Nothing I do can change that fact.”

“Mm.. I suppose that’s true,” Star piped up. He followed Sam’s gaze, his own eyes trailing to the wad of fabric in the guitarist’s hands. An idea popped into Star’s head and he spoke once more, “Aren’t you the least bit curious why he wasn’t here, though?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well..  I don’t know much about your dad but.. He doesn’t seem like the type to just break a promise like that…” Star explained. 

Sam gave a humorless chuckle, shaking his head, “You’d be surprised.” 

“All I’m saying is..,” Star’s eyebrows furrowed together, deep in thought. He spoke again, “There has to be a reason, right?”

“I guess so.” 

“There you go! That’s a start,” Star replied, beaming. Sam looked at the man’s toothy grin. It was almost enough to make him want to smile as well. Almost.

“I still don’t understand what you’re suggesting, Star,” Sam grumbled, hugging his knees to his chest. He added, “There’s a reason, so what?”

A look of disbelief crossed Star’s features. He shook his head and explained even further, “Doesn’t a small part of you want to know what that reason was, instead of just accepting it as something that happened?” 

Sam thought for a moment. He had to admit, a rather large part of him was curious about Kent’s continued absence - even if he was understanding about it. Eventually, he nodded. 

“So.. talk to him about it,” Star suggested, “Explain your side and listen to him.” 

“Look, Sam,” Star started. He turned to face Sam, his expression and voice now much more serious. “I can’t guarantee it’ll help.. But I think it’s worth a shot. At the very least, you can explain how much it hurt you.” 

“At the end of the day - whether you talk to him or not -… it’s your decision and I will support you and whatever you decide,” Star began, a small sigh slipping past his lips. 

“Just think about it,” He continued, “okay?” 

Sam sighed, stricken with indecision. He weighed the two options: on one hand, he could act as if this never happened, only to be confronted about the guitar. On the other, he could readily admit his mistakes and finally explain (both to himself and his father) what he had been ignoring for all these years. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, mulling over his thoughts further. He knew that, if he continued to ignore his negative emotions, they would only fester and may even cause him to lash out - likely in a way worse than he had today. Sam didn’t want that to happen. 

Eventually, he looked at Star and nodded, “Okay.”

“I’ll talk to him,” Sam decided. Star smiled at him and, unlike before, Sam smiled back. Star couldn’t quite place it yet, but upon seeing Sam’s smile, a strange warmth had settled over him. Perhaps it was the way his lips curled at the edges - ending in faint dimples - or the fact that seeing Sam smile was like stepping into a gentle patch of sun. Star concluded that it was simply because he enjoyed seeing Sam smile. 

However, Star’s thoughts were interrupted by Sam speaking once more, “Thanks for the advice, Star.”

“Don’t mention it,” Star replied, smiling once again. However, this one was quite different. Sam found himself staring at it, watching his friend’s eyes crinkle as the corners of his cheeks curled upwards. A wide, toothy grin - one that showed off the small tooth gap and fang-like canine teeth. A smile like this from Star was quite rare. Sam wasn’t sure what he had done to be lucky enough to see it, but he did know something: he liked seeing it. 

Eventually, Star opened his eyes once more. Sam looked away before awkwardly clearing his throat, letting out a faint “uhm” - trying to ignore the strange warmth that filled his chest. Sam looked down at the jacket once more and pushed himself into a standing position. 

“I’m gonna… go find my dad,” Sam explained, pointing over his shoulder with one of his thumbs. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, though his eyes refused to meet Star’s own. He mumbled, “I’ll.. uh.. I’ll see you around?” 

Before Star could reply, Sam had turned and began walking away.

[ozfi]

blade watch with robin archive

Something something being scared of instincts because they can be seen as animalistic when theres such an importance given to Humanity and humans being separate from animals (and undead). And youre not even certain of your humanity at this point in the first place

Waiiit its ok to fall into substance abuse when it makes you forget the parts of yourself youre scared about <3 & become someone who isnt you but feels like the "better version of yourself" that you could ever be

you cant find a way through and nothing you try is working and the whole world seems against you (even as it tries to help) so . Do something worse

I heart digging a deeper hole thats even harder to get out of

its especially potent i think cuz there was that moment where tachibana really did think she was getting better while fighting isaka at the end of 09

like i feel better im having a breakthrough i might die here but itll be worth it

but not even THAT worked. and that is what was supposed to work. so what other option does she have?

Something to be said abt how in this new era you can actually see tachibana's eyes that her hair is no longer in front of but it doesnt make her any more like. I forgot what the adjective is for showing emotions

expressive? readable? im forgetting the word i want too

Switch from obvious depressive feeling horrible in her life and body -> toxic hypermasculinity in order to try and power thru and become a better expected version of herself

Down to the way she wears her jacket and shit

I see it i see it -

i like that kenzaki and tachibana have to run forward and put intent in their transformation but mutsuki quite literally waits for it to overtake him and hajime just is. obviously -

i honestly like . how people in blade kind of just get worse at first cuz like. its not that simple. theyre all trying their best but they dont really understand each other. things often get bad despite how hard you try

Lessons have to be learned thru it going really bad Because none of them learn anything when things go well

mutsuki in particular has had such a bad time going on he's traumatized as fuck and getting over that wouldnt be so simple...

mutsuki and tachibana both have to deal with autonomy in really interesting ways

i also like how someone being worried for them isnt enough to stop the bad thing from happening. love isnt a be-all end-all savior Thing. you have to work for it. someone has to actually understand what's going on and you have to keep trying even when the bad things are happening and it feels like they wont stop. you just cant give up.

Love is used as a pillar but its not the whole of it you have to build upon it Its the foundations, a life built without love can work but on a precarious balance, a life that has love but nothing else doesnt have a roof and shelter

nozomi loves mutsuki sure but she's saying she wants the old mutsuki back. but the old mutsuki is constantly terrified, weak, sad, stuck in the dark,

she has her heart in the right place to be sure! she doesnt know about mutsukis trauma! but its that lack of understanding that isolates mutsuki further

everyone wants mutsuki back in the light.

isnt there another option?

(surely if we looked for one we would find it)

Theyre too busy trying to take it away from him to figure out the mechanisms behind why he needs it

Well, tachibana is trying a little more but shes also projecting too much and not seeing his individuality thru it

the spider chose mutsuki for a reason and you cant just wrench someone away from a bad coping mechanism (tachibana should know this . but of course she doesnt)

The joker has no ancestor. The joker has no family. The joker has no future except to immisce itself in the life of others

hajime has nothing, has created nothing, needs to rely on nothing , is connected to nothing, has no past aside violence, no future besides bloodshed, hajime has no right to exist in this world

Mutsuki projecting because he couldnt fight the ace and now all that he is is dictated by and defined by the ace

Whereas hajime pulled through that

he does constantly say hes the strongest even when hes clearly losing and its a pretty intentional thing to repeat

Hes trying to convince himself that it was the right thing to do and that hes on the right path

Right. like he didnt make a mistake in seeking it out, that he really can get strong on his own, that this isnt hurting him because if he lost then?

how can he be strong if hes so weak?

when kenzaki is in danger he doesnt rely on hirose or koutaro

they work together for the sake of others and he even calls them friends but its hard to find times (aside from casual cohabitation) where he trusts them the way he should

He seeks out their proofs of friendship but hes not willing to do the same

Like hes so happy early on when they talk abt him as a friend and such

he's happy to be cared about but i dont really think he extends that feeling in the same way

and he doesnt really understand how much hes cared about?

He knows the concept of care is something thats good and that he should he happy he has but he doesnt really understand it

I think his problem is he has too much love in his heart and he doesnt know what to do about it

Love for humanity is beautiful but its also vague, so as much as it motivates him, its hard to feel like its tangible

Love for a singular person however is much more tangible

And that makes it hurt much more in a way

how can love be so terrible monstrous and powerful and still not be enough

I do like that like People never infantilize him when they try to reason with him like they never bring up him being a kid or whatever they all treat him with respect as an equal even if they dont get him/get frustrated by him

i especially like it cuz none of them are especially older than him

the blade main character unit is 17-25 in ages

if they WERE treating him like a little baby itd be weird

mutsuki cant be ANYTHING nobody allows him to be anything he is not strong he is not very supported he's not an ally he's not anything he gets kidnapped he gets possessed he gets cloned

nobody wants him to be him

even he doesnt want himself to be himself right now

He gets used as an object and concept more than anything

The ace undead itself is turning him into a concept and a trope slowly

see NOW

NOW

shes like

NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE. AND WHO YOU ARE. ill stand by you

as opposed to before when it was "i miss the old mutsuki"

theres something to be said about how kenzaki struggles envisioning a future

be it near or long term

he only lives in the present in that way

its unexpected but its also not out of left field at all like it makes u reatroactively think abtthe way kenzaki has been this whole time and when u look back at it it makes total sense, u know what i mean?

kenzaki is in that perfect spot of main character where main characters can often be given a like. idk how to word what i mean

theres a strong projection

a projection thats so strong that you kinda forge your own idea of the character until they go against that idea and you realize that you based it on tropes and nothing else

and that all this time hes been thinking about something else and living something differently while everyone around him projected onto him as a hero

i think kenzaki is a good example of a narrative that only shows you whats on screen and something about the way he is makes it very clear that hes on camera and theres a facet to him that would only be shown outside of it. however he exists in a show and doesnt exist when hes off camera so in the end all we see of him is like. its staged. literally but also in the way his character works? he doesnt talk or show how he feels but when it's "revealed" you look back and see that all the warning signs were there but were just overtaken by the narrative being built aroudn him -

like i said before i think kenzaki felt happy about being cared about because thats a concept thats alien to him and hes been taught that its a good thing that he should cherish. however thats not a feeling thats internalized and i dont think he Actually feels cared about or understands what that care means or how hes supposed to reciprocate it

he literally has not been cared about for over a decade before this

and theres things to be said about the people he lost being family and how he feels distant from anyone outside of that (further solidifying the evidence how intensely he feels about hajime

did you notice in the last 10 episodes other people had to come along and be empathetic in kenzakis place?

when mutsuki is brought down from the chains its tachibana who tells him she understands

kenzaki doesnt say ANYTHING!!

hes obviously unhappy. and its not a good situation. but every single time this happens someone else is doing the empathizing and kenzaki is unhappy but silent. and its hard to notice unless you look for it . but its there

"i believe in how much hirose loves her dad" is so roundabout its like

How did he get away with this

where most people would hear "the joker must be stopped before it becomes last" he hears "i must stand opposite the joker to forever keep it at a standstill" which is absolutely not a normal person thing to think

literally every single other person around kenzaki was set on either hajime Not being the joker (impossible) or sealing him

they even acknowledged kenzaki being able to become the joker but it was a bad thing and to be avoided

and i wont deny its horrible. his literal humanity was torn out and replaced. but.

and this is a BIG

BUT

this is exactly what hes been chasing after the whole show

regardless of if its good or bad its what he wanted and its one of the first choices hes ever taken fully for himself where he's owned that quote unquote "selfishness" of his

his literal humanity was taken but this is the most human choice he possibly could have made

something i like about blade is that

i dunno its about humanity sure but its like.. sometimes being human isnt all its cracked up to be

but its important to hajime. because of everything that goes with it

and thats important

everyone skirts those lines between humanity and inhumanity. all four of them do

[cinnaminsvga]

hi bestieeee

ive been following & have had notifs on for years. i actually dont even pay attention to kpop anymore AIDBBFHFDISO but ive always wanted to know sooo badly: how does LOOH end?

I know it's on indefinite hiatus but it doesn't seem like itll ever be completed, and the curiosity has always killed me 😭

"it doesn't seem like itll ever be completed" PLEASEEEEE i screamed but yeah youre 100% right LOL

its kinda hard to say how looh was supposed to end because i kinda write smaus on the go without indepth storylines lol (i.e. basically i bullshit on the go and fake it til i make it)

fair warning also that ive forgotten almost all of looh by this point... i used to have a notebook with my ideas for the smau but i lost it during my last move so this is what i can remember. apologies if there are inconsistencies but i genuinely dont remember LMAOOO its been (8)4 years...

i can give you an idea of how i was thinking of ending looh... under the cut for the sake of people who dont give af lol

i do know for a fact that i planned jimin and y/n to be endgame. it was going to be a long process of "will they or wont they" because of jimins underlying insecurities and y/n's inability to introspect would always be a hindrance in their relationship

i know i framed y/n as like a "really good person" but she really isnt perfect. i was gonna lay more groundwork to "expose" her for some of the fucked up shit she did in the past (i forgor 💀) and i was planning on exploring her internalized "holier than thou" complex

that was gonna be the second main conflict after the whole jimin vs tae conflict... kinda like a season 2 lol

BUT BACK TO SEASON 1... tae vs jimin lol so yeah tae releases that slander video on jimin and he runs away... y/n is supposed to have a big altercation with jin and make him release a statement proving jimin's innocence... jin ofc says no and y/n + jimin (+kook on the side) have to figure out a way to improve jimin's public image

my initial idea was that he tries to pivot towards becoming a professional dancer and joining hoseok's crew... i was planning on introducing a new character (likely seungkwan haha gotta keep with the seventeen member cameos) who was gonna be like a PR manager... they'd make a youtube channel and post content about their dancers. not just their dances, but interviews, challenges, etc. just to "prove" jimin is the good guy or something.

on the side, the seungcheol/jeonghan/yoongi drama... yeah seungcheol gets dumped by y/n like an additional two times LOL and for funsies, jeonghan confesses his feelings for seungcheol to y/n (shocker) and its all very messy mwahahah (yeah they both end up sad in the end my bad). as for yoongi... OH BOY

so yeah he got rejected by y/n which RUINS his ego and he doesnt give up for a while. then he starts crushing on seungcheol (who previously had a crush on him lol) and it gets very messy but overall he gets called out on his power tripping ways and ends up alone at the end teehee (he was gonna get an epilogue scene where he goes to the club all drunk and shit and a younger guy hits on him but calls him "sir" after seeing his face properly lol)

as for jin/hoseok/namjoon... uhhh yeah 2seok dont end up strictly together... theyre both chaebols with fucked up senses of humor (they both enjoy playing with people like chess pieces) and jin gets super pissed when he finds out hoseok has been playing with HIM on the side. they have a heated argument that causes the collapse of bang ent (hoseok has more money/influence than him and essentially grabs the company off jin's hands) and BOOM friends to lovers to enemies to ???

oh and namjoon is there. uhhhh yeah he becomes jin's little puppet for a while. essentially namjoon spies on y/n for jin and breaks her trust. this further strains kook's mental state because he feels super guilty about everything. i was planning on kook being pro-joon and breaking y/n's heart, but i wasnt sure. it all depends on how i was feeling tbh LMAOOO sometimes i like making jungkook cry (all the time)

as for tae... yeah he wins LOL he's essentially the main antagonist (its not jin... surprise) but he actually succeeds in becoming a very popular pornstar. even when hoseok grabs the company, he keeps tae on their roster and tae becomes very rich. he continues trying to slander jimin but he eventually stops when hoseok forces him to stop (out of guilt? bribery? revenge? who knows lol)

umm back to jimin and y/n... yeah they get together blah blah y/n confesses first, jimin gets hurt a lot, y/n is bad at relationships (shes got bad interpersonal skills), they have a large argument where y/n accidentally dehumanizes jimin (ouch)... so many things. all that matters is that they do end up together... maybe not so happily, but they'll get there. i think.

SO YEAH THAT WAS SO MESSY idk how coherent this was... again like i said, i kinda write smaus on the go so a lot of these things arent necessarily canon. i only consider things canon when stuff gets posted, but again like u said thats probs never happening LOL but in the meantime, if u have more questions about any of the points listed above, lemme know!! i'll try my best to explain further (sobs i am so rusty at writing u dont even know) anyway blessings be upon ye!!

[drpeppertummy]

Pls never shut up about sunny share your rambles pls, he's a treasure I wanna eat some good food with him and just be friends ;;;

auauiuoou thankyou my bestest little guy,,,,,,,more random entirely-non-kink-related thoughts haphazardly cobbled together from discord messages (someday i will dig up some actual tummy-themed ones)

sometimes he watches a video on his phone without realizing his volumes up & scares himself. usually only happens at home or at his friends houses & if someones around to witness it theyre like Bro What The Fuck til they realize hes like dropping his phone trying to turn it off. hrs so embarrassed too hes like Im Not An Ipad Baby Im Not!!! hes like Im Not A Tiktok Baby!!!!!!!!! bc u KNOW lauries makin fun of him for it. shes like You Ipad Baby. You Tiktok Baby. I Bet You Watch Cocomelon Fortnite Compilations Loud As Hell At Applebees.

he loves sending his friends emails with URGENT!!!!!!!!!!! as the subject & itll just be some stupid shit but i think sometimes he'll do that & the email will just say "hi" . sometimes he'll do it when hes sitting like 10 feet from somebody & if they happen to be the kind of person who has notifications on & checks their emails right away theyll read it & he'll be sittin there like : - )

sometimes laurie will just pick sunny up & either shake him or squeeze him real hard or somethin of that nature & hes just fine with it. hes very light & malleable like aluminum foil

he Loves singin in the kitchen and the shower and the car and wherever etc. he sings preddy good which is a good thing bc he is Not shy about it hes putting his whole pussy into it doesnt matter if hes got the whole crew hangin around. i was pondering What sunnys singing voice sounds like bc his vocal range is Nuts & he can go high And low & i was thinking maybe he has kind of a billy joel vibe but not Quite. bc his natural speaking voice is a little on the higher side & billy joel is a smidge lower than how i imagine his natural singing voice sounding. i was like "hes somewhere between billy joel & frankie valli" & then i was like Wait Thats Just Uptown Girl. like he Can sing lower & higher if he wants to but thats like his Most Natural Singing Voice is somewhere around there. the higher end of the billy joel range

laurie loves stuffed animals i just Know sunnys trying to win her some big shitty bear at some shitty carnival game

he tries 2 be good with boundaries even tho theres def times when he freaks it. sometimes he overcompensates trying to make up for minor infractions. he likes being on good terms with people. hes one of those people whos like I Need Everyone To Like Me Or Else Ill Die. [but also he genuinely cares its not All him being self centered]. hes ascared of Being In Trouble and Being Bad [which could mean anything from making someone mildly displeased for a moment or completely & totally fucking up an entire relationship] #rsd. but then like he also cant help just totally bein a nuisance 100% of the time

tbh . i think Big Hug is his response to a lot of things. Hes A Hugger

he struggles with analog clocks he'll be trying to read one & hes like ✋Everyone Shut Up Im Focusing😤. i think left & right takes him a second too. sorry i love projecting

i think sunny says Go Piss Girl when laurie gets up to go to the bathroom & she smacks him in the head

any time hes trying to do something hes like running around in circles he always gets mixed up about what he needs to do first and what he needs to do next and where he needs to be headed and what hes supposed to be getting and hes just all over the place & hes straight up just spinning around trying to think. it takes him SO long to get started on something. once he gets going its fine as long as its a familiar task but it doesnt take much to break his focus. its like that sometimes when hes talking too. he gets sidetracked So easily sometimes it takes him like 10 tries to get a thought out before he finally manages to say what he wanted to say bc his brain keeps going on tangents & he starts rambling about other shit

he was the chattiest most outgoing little kid he would be like sittin with his mom at the dmv chattin up random nearby people he would be that kid at school who keeps sucking the sub into a conversation he wasnt shy around strangers At All but if he saw someone in like some big weird costume all of a sudden hes hiding behind moms leg. easter bunny? fuck no. mall santa? fuck no. smokey visits his school? fuck no. halloween? Good God What Is Going On Out There

ADDICTION TW - hes def the type whos gonna get addicted to something when he makes it big. & like he'll get off it before it kills him but theres no WAY hes making it through stardom without getting hooked on Somethin for a while. & he manages to hide it for a while but as soon as someone he cares about finds out he just starts Sobbing hes so ashamed. which is probably a turning point. getting out of it would probably also give him the push he needs to get actual mental health help

he may be wildly insecure about every last aspect of his personality but at least he has no doubt that hes cute. its like hes somehow never absorbed anything bad anyones ever said about short guys or big noses or hairy backs or what have you. He Knows Hes Cute its a simple fact of life

he tends to be interested in women more than men & i wonder if part of that is bc he feels less comfortable with his attraction to men bc hes been shamed for it. like he'll hook up with guys if they initiate it & he'll talk about Cute Guys but he doesnt tend to Seek Out those relations the way he does with The Ladies. part of it is simply that He Loves The Ladies but i think part of it is hes never allowed himself to fully embrace his bisexuality

sunnys the kinda guy to take a giant bite of somethin he Just took outta the oven & be like 🫢 Ih Hot ! hes like 🫢🫢🫢🫢H & lauries like Wow I Wonder How That Happened .

[riddlesmoon]

hmmm only 💦🔥 could be LIs... 🌙 isnt interested and ☀️... well i suppose she could be but its a bit redundant in this setting because shessssss intangible

lemme just rAmble ill put this all in a proper post when i one day draw them...

💦 Aqua the Dancer (Siren?)

S Dancing/Swimming/Seduction/Sex skills

A Skullduggery/Housekeeping/Tending/Athletics

normally found at either club during work hours, or the bar. on friday(?) nights she can be found swimming at the beach. in summer he hangs out at the lake too. sometimes seen at averys parties, or with avery.

easy to chat up, easy to proposition (as long as youve got money), hard to actually talk with. starts with lust stat that isnt dependent on you relieving it, itll go up and down randomly because shes doing his own stuff. love stat is hard to raise at first because she only offers "business" dates (just sex) but after about ~40 you can take him on normal dates. shes a bit of a socialite so you can get a boost in status/fame hanging out with her.

unique stat? hmm. uh. uhhh. idk. tide??? but itd change like so: ice -> she wont talk to you about anything other than sex or transactions, water -> normal, whirlpool -> he trusts you and you can easily convince him to do certain things. like getting her to stop crossdressing, or quit her jobs/become exclusive... this can lead to his dismissal where his lust cant be satiated and he resorts to drastic measures and fucks up somewhere (idk how this happens yet i just want the end result to be at the underground farm lol).

also starts off without any virginities intact. except maybe handholding done in an explicitly romantic setting? ionno

wait what if you could do crime with him. that sounds fun theres no other LI you can do that with right. wait maybe whitney. but imagine if you could do a lil bonnie and clyde seduction/swindling duo act lol

also wait what will the difference between love and tide be. i guess low tide low love -> sex only. low tide high love -> fluffier dates. high tide low love -> she'll accept your propositions and a certain amt of requests? high tide high love -> putty in your hands. maybe at high tide she pesters you more often which would give a reason to want to dismiss her. he may leech off your money as well (hes an orphan too, albeit one or two years older)

🌙Luna the Prophet

S Skullduggery/Awareness

A Seduction

B Athletics

can sometimes be found playing cards with Wren, at the bar, at the Codjfjdkud the street stalls place, and at the beach. you need B Skullduggery and/or C Awareness to notice their presence at all.

You feel a gaze on your back. Scanning the area, you think you notice a person dressed in all black hiding in the shadows. But when you take another look, they've vanished.

once you notice them you can ask 💦Aqua about them. if shes at least normal with you he'll tell you thats his twin. afterward you can approach them wherever you find them. their love is raised simply by treating Aqua well. at high love just hanging with them can reduce Stress and the chance of being harassed

at the Cobfjwjfjsg stalls they have a little fortune telling/tarot card booth, but its by booking only. at high love you can book a session via Aqua or asking them directly. this wont guarantee it tho, they will randomly let you know when theyre ready. fortune telling will let you know about some future events (what punishment is next if you or robin miss a payment, chances of surviving remys attack on the farm, idk), tarot card tells you about your r/s with LIs/POIs (this might be redundant cuz you have the stats page but maybe itll give hints on what to do to alter certain relationships. if you even need it lawl)

if theyre playing cards with Wren when you join in (theyre only there like... 5% of the time) they dont participate in any of the sexual aspects, and are always doing well enough not to lose most clothing [i need to check how the card game works actually i dont remember anyone other than Wren and PC losing clothes lmfao]. you can sometimes see them pass items off to Landry and/or Mickey at the bar. maybe you can even do a job with them idk.

also if you convince 💦Aqua to do dangerous things their love will drop hugely and theyll warn you not to push things. if you do it anyway and Aqua gets dismissed they will disappear from the game completely.

🔥Aiden the Arsonist

S Athletics

B Skullduggery

high Combat fame, high Status, Delinquent, shares Science with the PC

thinking of having Aiden only appear in game after a few months because hes been in prison LOL. for. you guessed it. arson! hes a fellow orphan who typically resorts to crime to pay Bailey. starts out not great which is why he got arrested but can get better over time (with PC's help?) after he returns there will sometimes be random fires in residential areas. "how does this get him money" it doesnt he just does it for fun (also to fuck with whichever rapist got his ass). the reason he doesnt get thrown in jail again is because theres no outright evidence unless hes caught in the scene and also sometimes he'll just beat up the cop instead.

isnt always in class, but is usually at student parties at the lake/beach (not including the school pool party). can also be found in the library during lunch break, and sometimes at the temple with his ☀️sister (but he is not an initiate)

the player ca—okay why are all my characters so into crime. this wasnt intentional but doltown is just so fucked up ig. uhh anyway if you get along with him enough theres a chance for him to save you from school encounters when you scream. including from Whitney but its not like a straight up fight he just asks Whitney to knock it off cuz its "ruining the mood" and Whitney... may or may not comply (depends on dominance?)

unique stat... Avery already took Rage :( um... actually hes more POI than LI (ive just never viewed my ocs in a romantic light at all LOL) so whatever

also F Tending. maybe he can cook tho

☀️Candidus the Departed

A Awareness

angel tf. somewhat friends with Sydney, which is why 🔥Aiden can be found in the library (he doesnt leave Candidus' side and vice versa). her presence isnt noticed all the time, but thats nothing to do with you. its her choice (sort of). if you raise her love youll "notice" her more often

you can always see her at the temple. she also isnt an initiate (though Jordan/Sydney have asked her to join) but enjoys the atmosphere.

hmm. to raise her love... other than hanging with Aiden, raise kindness fame. she'll know. if PC is particularly tormented she can help alleviate some of the burden. this... may reduce your Awareness? wait wouldnt it be crazy if she could reset your Stockholm Syndrome

maybe at max love she can try to protect you from the Wraith during the blood moon... it wont always work and you have to be in town for it tho... idk... i just be saying random stuff atp

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im trying so hard, my very hardest, to be kind and sweet and lovely and nice. but im afraid itll never be truly possible - theres a hidden dark side to me, because im so harsh and cruel and hard on myself. it slips out in hidden ways. those comments that spark a sense of alarm in others. that sudden red flag that you dont react or respond to in the moment, just file away as a reminder to never truly trust me, love me, respect me, feel safe around me...

is it true? or is it an idea?

im afraid i cant trust anyone.

but if i trust myself, will that matter?

its jarring, when the tower of love you have for a person comes crashing down after one dirty act. the darkness... the darkness that im supposed to accept is inherently a part of us all. it scares me. it hurt me.

im heartbroken because i feel like this relationship was doomed to end from the beginning. and that was my own doing, because i have such a warped idea of relationships and love. because i have lingering feelings for people that dont matter. because im so afraid of repeating the same mistakes that im more willing to sabotage it all before i get a chance to try something different. because i cant let go of superficial things that ive gotten used to. because i cant set boundaries. because im being fucking stupid.

im definitely pmsing. lets just take these big emotions with a grain of salt.

what happened to being in a goofy mood?

im irritable.

i just want to be happy with him. i dont want to ruin it by travelling and being separated and one of us cheating on the other. i dont want this to end within a year. i want to be happy. i deserve happiness. ive waited a long time for someone to treat me how i deserve. will he treat me how i deserve? he will try, and thats all i can ask for. he actually makes me feel safe and comfortable to be authentically myself. he gives me the space to just be. to feel my confusing emotions.

but why do they both feel so manipulative? is this my own wound? my own lack of boundaries and knowing what it is i really want? because i keep finding myself fearing the powerful people i attract into my life for the same reason i fell in love with them in the first place - that they can tell me what to do, that they can help me figure out what i want. but at what point does that turn into them deciding what i want for me? thinking they know what i want? ugh.

im confused. im tired. im drained. im overwhelmed. im sad. im missing something that doesnt exist - a feeling - nostalgia - the feeling of love and being loved and being heartbroken and in love and completely miserable.

i hate to admit it, but this whole time i keep on thinking back to the time i was with my ex. it was so different. i was so much freer and happier. i was so different. it was a different time! i always thought i could find something or someone like that, to emulate that feeling again. but its just not possible. its weird. like no one else will ever understand but him, because no one else was there. and i wish i could talk about it or explain it but its impossible to understand.

i want to fall. i want to feel okay to just fall and let him catch me and lead the way. but im so scared, i feel like its gonna end, i feel like im gonna get hurt, im gonna regret being so vulnerable, im gonna find something out and wish id been smarter and seen through his bullshit. but he hasnt done anything. but thats the biggest red flag of them all. why are you so perfect? who are you, really? why am i still so afraid and uncomfortable? is it me?

yet, i still miss him. i still text him. i still want to see him tomorrow. i dont tell him to refund the festival tickets he got us. i smile when he tells me about his day and his games and his affirming words calling me princess and telling me hes proud of me. hes so stable. what if he gets sick of me? my constant bad moods? my dark feelings? you cant have the sun without shade.

darkness can only exist in the shadow of light.

[miscellaneous-ruminations]

it feels so bad to talk to him. i feel so miserably ashamed of feeling bad talking to my own partner. the times we talk to each other and it goes well are diminishing in frequency, and i feel like he’s turning into another person before my eyes. i don’t know what to do with this person who dislikes me, dislikes spending time with me, or likes me but hates me? he treats me like a hated little sibling, always getting in his way. i’m not even treated like his friend. why does this happen to be how he does it. we need couples therapy. i need therapy. ive had the tome of my life without him. i dont know whats happening.

and yet he claims he needs me and clings to me whenever my negative reaction gets too obvious to ignore. he takes on this expecting to be punished attitude and im like am i even here to you? are you even experiencing my presence? it feels like he’s living in a monologue and is just talking with a version of me that he controls, and punishing me when i don’t adhere to it.

IVE FELT LIKE MYSELF WHILE HES BEEN GONE!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WHEN HE COMES BACK WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

and yet i love him and i miss him and i dont

i have been making excuses for him for three years. no if ands or buts. i have been making excuses to people whose opinions i care about more than his. i have lost my own good opinion.

why do i have to worry about the giant fight itll be when i get upset that all he can talk about is his fomo when i bring up my fun things.

i realized that i dont even really talk anymore. he dominates every conversation, and aside from literally just jokes and the occasional deep conversation that he treats like derailing his day, the expectation is that i will be there to be his everything and not have my own life. not have my own friends. not have my own interests. i cant go to anything without him. and he has the excuse of being my ride.

and oh, when hes at his best and functioning normally he can act rationally and be “generous” and “let” me go without him, but the second hes even a littleee insecure about ANYTHING and i can pry him off me wothout a fight where he paints me as a bigass overreactor while being the one who cant let the fucking thing go!!! what am i supposed to do!!!!!

we let outselves get really entangled really codependent at the beginning. i wont pretend it wasnt mutual. but in spite of that i feel like im the ONLY ONE TRYING TO GET US OUT OF THE DEATH SPIRAL

why am i the only one trying

why am i the only one trying

and he says im reading too much into this that im being unfair but you cant “its not that deep” your way out of this you bastard. because there is a point where it is that deep. where i leave the confines of this relationship and cant contribute to someone who wants to hear from me because im used to being the silent spaghetti wall. when im not contributing ideas because im worried about that GODDAMN CONDESCENDING “WELL YOU DONT GRASP THE SOCIAL ELEMENTS OF THIS” SMUG ASS FUCKING…… AOUGH

YOU WOULD NOT HAVE DATED ME IF I WAS NOT SOCIALLY ADEPT. I AM BEING HELD TO NEUROTYPICAL STANDARDS NOT ETHICAL AUTISTIC ONES AND I AM TIRED OF SUFFOCATING UNDER THE STANDARDS YOU HOLD YOURSELF TO BECAUSE THEYRE COMFORTABLE. THEYRE NOT FOR ME. IM NOT ENTERTAINING IT ANY LONGER

HE HAS GIVEN ME A SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER. I CANT STEP AWAY FROM IT!!! I HAVE NO FRIENDS THAT I CAN BE MYSELF WITH WITHOUT HIM INTERFERING AND INSERTING HIMSELF. AND HE SAYS HES FINE WITH IT HE SAYS HE IS AND THEN ILL NEED TO DO NOTHING BUT BE IN THE ROOM WOTH HIM WHILE HE SEWS AND WASTE MY EVENING BEING A SEXY LAMP!!!!! AND IF IM ANGRY OR FEEL USED OR ANYTHING ELSE IT TURNS INTO A FIGHT WHERE IM IGNORED IN FAVOR OF TALKING ABOUT HOW SAD IT IS THAT HE HAS THIS INFURIATING DEFENSIVENESS AND HOW HARD IT IS FOR HIM AND HOW MUCH HES TRYING. BULL SHIT! NOT FUCKING BUYING IT!!!! ARE YOU CHANGING? ARE YOU TRYING??? BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE SOENDING ZERO TIME AND ZERO CONSISTENT EFFORT ON CONSISTENTLY NOT BEING AN ASSHOLE TO ME

AND ANOTHER THING!!! HIS OCD RULES THIS FUCKING HOUSE!!!! THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO AVOID THE FACT THAT NO JOB I EVER DO IS ENOUGH HE WANTS TO BE MATRON WITH ME AS THE DELEGATE BUT I CANT FUCKING GET IN THERE BECAUSE WHAT HE ACTUALLY WANTS IS TO DO IT HIMSELF

I NEED HIM TO GET MEDICATED FOR HIS OCD AND PTSD IT IS FUCKING RUINING *MY* LIFE. AND I DONT THINK HE CARES. I DONT THINK HE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT HIS IMPACT ON ME TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. BECAUSE I THINK ON SOME LEVEL HES LIKE WHERE WOULD HE GO.

and thats so fucking dangerous. he can justify fucking anything with that. and i will not be a part of it. im building my own fucking life back and if i encounter resistance i dont like the shape of he can start taking a fucking backseat. if he wants to be my friend he can start acting like my fucking friend again. but until that time hes my mentally ill shithead boyfriend. who i love. god help me i love him. g-d, help me if i need to learn to leave him.

[the-mozzarella-brothers]

https://www.tumblr.com/whenmagicfilledtheair/739042931935150080/wow-its-hard-to-overstate-what-a-piece-of-shit

Get a load of rhis guy and their (((Robert Allen Zimmerman)))

ok reading this now and i actually have no clue what im supposed to say about this article. it literally makes no sense. its actually hilarious how much bullshit is in here. not sure if im supposed to express my opinion about this but itll be under the cut (very long)

“the song describes the situation with israel and lebanon but ignores this part” huh maybe its not actually about israel and lebanon then? bob dylan literally has a song that says “the sun’s not yellow, its chicken”. his lyrics shouldnt be assumed as factually correct or anything. also, he says the randomest bullshit in interviews and just generally. literally nothing he says should be expected to mean anything.

“dylans interest in judaism and israel” hes literally jewish obviously he’s interested. im jewish and interested. people like knowing about their culture.

about the JDL, i found another article where he met with the rabbi who founded it in the 70s. interesting how pretty soon after that he converted to christianity. not sure if the two events are actually related, but they could be.

some part says israel was propped up by a fascist american government. i dont believe this is true, im pretty sure england “propped it up”. no clue if the government was fascist in england at the time but i think it just wanted jews to have somewhere safe to live without constant antisemitism.

no clue what else to say but the whole article sounds like bullshit to me.

[tsukkiseasalt]

Eyes That Won’t Wonder

1

description: after the death of your former patient you are assigned to Mr. Wakatoshi, a quiet, handsome, older gentleman who quite frankly doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself or his dick in his pants.

warning this story will contain: smut, smut & more smut. specifically breeding, anal, dirty talk, friends fucking, camboy bokuto, himbo bokuto, &so much more!

“Is this what you wanted, to be bent over in a filthy public bathroom and used as a human cum disposal?” He grunted into your ear, voice thick and full with lust.

This isn't what you had at all expected when you had gotten assigned to him, and in all honesty you didn’t even think you’d like him; nonetheless, you agreed with him. “Y-yes sir.”

 “Who would have ever thought the sweet girl that I met not even five months would be so fucking eager to get fucked and filled in such a place like this?” His words caused your head to spin. An array of struggled moans slipped past his thick fingers which he had shoved between your puffy red pout and down your throat which had previously been occupied by his cock. 

“It’s ok though doll, I’ve wanted this too.” He groaned, snapping his hips forward. 

His free hand that was knotted into your hair yanked you up and forced you to look in the mirror in front of you. You didn't even recognize yourself like this, but this is what you wanted after all right.

↺

The morning sun that filtered through the curtains danced on your cheeks while you scrolled aimlessly on your phone. 

“Hey, hey, hey.!.” You heard as the door opened revealing your bubbly bright eyed roommate. A small smile graced your face as he laid down beside you wrapping a thick arm around you. 

“Hey.” You said putting your phone down looking down at him.

“You ready for today?” He asked rubbing circles on your thighs, fingertips rough on your skin.

You shrugged as you watched him, “I guess so, it's been kinda hard since Washijō passed.”

Bokuoto’s usual smile turned into a slight frown as you mentioned your old patient turned friend. “He’s not suffering anymore.” He said quietly, trying to comfort you. 

“ I know, I just miss the old geezer sometimes.” You mumble letting your fingers glide through his two-toned locks. “But the report says that the new guy, Ushi-something, is only in his late 50’s.”

Bokuto now wore a puzzled expression on his face. “That’s not exactly old.”

“I know, but hey at least he’s not on his deathbed.” You say knocking on your wooden nightstand.

He laughed at the gesture and rolled off you. “It’s almost 7, so you should probably start getting ready if you're gonna be there by 7:30.” 

“I know but the bed is so comfortable.” You whined stretching out over the entirety of the space.

“I bet it won't be so comfortable after your in it everyday when you get fired for missing your first day back in three weeks.” He sassed hands on his hips. 

“Shouldn’t you be getting fucked in the ass or something?” You questioned whipping your head around to look at him.

He gasped and threw a shirt that was on the floor at you. “I do the fucking thank you very much!” He exclaimed dramatically as he sauntered out of your room.

“Tell that lie to someone who’s going to believe you miss butt-plug.” You yelled rolling off the bed and onto the floor with a thump. “Ow.”

“I hate you!” He screamed. “I’m getting a new roommate!”

“ Good luck finding someone who will disinfect your toys while you're at the gym.” You retaliate, digging through your dresser to find your scrubs.

“You did that out of your own free will.” He said, popping his head into your door throwing something at you. Your scrubs.

“Thanks love.” You smile.

“Still hate you.” He says crossing his arms in your doorway. You amble over to him and get on your tiptoes planting a wet kiss on his cheek. “Still hate me now.”

“Y-yes, what the fuck was that supposed to do?” He asked, wiping his cheek.

“I dunno, worked in highschool.” You shrugged, pulling your shirt off revealing your chest along with the rest of your unclothed body. 

“Getting naked won't work either.”

“Why? Am I not sexy anymore?” You fake pouted, pulling your bra on along with your top.

“No, still very sexy, I've just developed an immunity for it.” He said matter of factly. 

“Hmmm.” You mumbled pulling up your pants. “Guess i'll just have to find a new way to get you to love me.” You mumbled purposely grazing his cock as you pushed past him to get to the bathroom. “But if I do say so myself, it doesn't feel like you’ve developed an immunity. Felt hard as a rock to me.” 

“Hey hey hey, don’t get me all worked up just to leave for work.” He mumbled, reaching a long arm out to pull you to him by your waist. You could feel his breath against your lips as his skilled fingers worked into your waistband and started to knead your ass like it was bread dough.

“No no, you hate me, remember.” You say reaching around grabbing his hand and forcing him to stop. 

“I was just kidding bro, please don’t do this. I haven’t gotten to touch you in forever please mamas.” He pleaded, emphasizing the last word, seeing as to how he knew it was your weakness. 

“Don’t you have a boyfriend.” You mumbled tilting your head back ever so slightly so he could plant light kisses in all the places he knew you liked them most. 

“Open relationship.” He mumbled into your skin. “And kaashi specifically said i can have you whenever i pleased.”

“Oh really.” You moaned as he sucked on the flesh just beneath your earlobe.

“Yep, he actually wanted you to shoot a scene with us.” He groaned, grinding his length into your stomach. 

“Fuck, Bo, I’m gonna be late.” You moaned as he rubbed around your tight pucker before pushing past the tight muscles.

“No you're not, I can do this while you get ready.” He whispered lowly in your ear. 

“Fuck, fine.” You moan, hands grabbing at his hair. He lifts you and takes you to the bathroom placing you down in front of the sink. You moan as he pulls your pants down immediately falling to his knees, tongue darting out to lap your hole. “Oh my fuck.” You whine, grabbing your toothbrush. You have to really focus and resist the urge to spread your cheeks so he could have better access to you in order to put the toothpaste on the toothbrush.

“Yum.” He groans and brings his hands to spread you out almost as though he had read your mind. You shove your hips back further into his face as you brush your teeth, struggling to keep your head up. 

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do that for so long.” He says getting up and grabbing the bottle of lube off the counter. He squirts some on his fingers and massages it into your hole and pulls his sweats down to lather the remainder of it onto his cock. You spit as he pushes into you. Slowly but surely he thrusts into you, hands harshly gripping your ass. 

“Fuck.” You whine, hands gripping the edge of this sink as you struggle to keep you composure.

“That’s what I'm doing.” He mumbles wickedly in your ear. You cry out as he begins hitting your g-spot repeatedly. 

“Gunna, c-cum.” You manage your head falling onto the countertop. He speeds up his thrust and you can feel him begin to twitch in you motioning that he’s now chasing his own release. 

“Fuckkkk!” You exclaim legs quivering as you squirt all onto your bottoms and the floor beneath you. 

“Shit.” He groans slamming into you one final time before he pulls out and finishes on your ass.

You both huff as you catch your breath. 

“Dammit now I gotta change, and I still havent done my makeup.” You sigh pulling your head off the cool porcelain. 

“Here.” He says handing you a moist towel. “You clean yourself up and I'll go get your other scrubs.” 

You nod to him kinda as a silent thank you and then he disappears to get your other uniform. You step out of your drenched bottoms and pull your top over your head tossing them in the basket in the corner. You gently wipe the remaining lube from your ass and your juices from your legs before tossing the towel in the basket as well.

“Here.” He says handing you an identical uniform to the one you just took off. You hurriedly slide them on and rush back to your room to get your phone.

“Have you seen my bag…” You trail off as you see him standing with it in hand beside the door. 

“Thanks.”You say, grabbing it. “And do the laundry.”

“You can't ask nicely?” He huffs causing you to roll your eyes.

“Do the fucking laudry or ill shove that so far down your fucking throat itll come out of that pretty plump little behind of yours.” You say sweetly pointing at that large purple dildo sitting on the couch.

“You think my ass is plump huh?” He smirks, leaning against the door.

“Laundry.” You say sternly.

“Fine.” He mumbles now rolling his eyes. He opens the door allowing you out. 

“Be safe.” He waves as you open your car door.

“Kk, don’t burn the house down.” You wave back. 

“No promises.” He says smiling innocently before slamming the door. 

Shaking your head you get in and set off in the direction that the GPS instructs. 

“Nice, made it in time and with time to spare.” You mumble to yourself sliding your watch onto your wrist. You pulled up to the gate, typed in the numbers that were scribbled at the bottom of the paper, and thankfully it opened without a struggle. You slowly drove up the long driveway admiring the array of greenery that was along the path. 

“Goodness.” You gawked once you caught sight of the house. It was huge. “Who the hell even is this guy?” You mumble parking in front. You pull out the paper and scan over it. There isn’t much beside the fact that he had back surgery two years back. That was odd, he was only 59, and only had one major issue. Usually the company wouldn't even send someone out unless that patient was in their late 60’s and had major health issues- Washijō for example, he was 83, had two bum knees as well as a new hip. Compared to him this new guy- Ushijima Wakatoshi- was a spring chicken in your eyes.

Shrugging you grabbed your bag and headed for the front door, again admiring the beauty of the home. You grab the knocker and give it two big hits and wait. Moments later you hear the lock on the other side turning. The door opens revealing a handsome man with golden eyes, olive hair and a tall build. 

“You must be Mr. Wakatoshi’s son, I hope I'm not pronouncing that incorrectly, I’m his new home health aid” You smile, eyes wandering down to his bare chest. He’s almost in as great shape as Bo & he’s probably twice his age. You think to yourself, eyes glancing at his biceps before making eye contact with him again. 

He lets out a sound that resembles a cough and you realize that's his laugh. “You pronounced it just fine, and no, I’m Mr. Wakatoshi.” If not for the words you would have been drooling at the low rasp that was his voice.

“What, what!” You shriek.

i was really hornknee when i came up with this concept. lets see where it gets me :)

[spindash]

embarrassing but i jusst need to talk ok.......... under the cut because iknow itll be long um im talking abot cancer and animal death and dog like. i dont knw. attacks. & other kindof awful things so no pressure to even look or read anything. loveyou forevr

My uncle isnt going to make it the next two years even with the two surgeries and chemo the brain tumor is too much and he just got the news the beginning of this month that hes not going to make it. we all kindof knew that woukd be the case even w his last surgery but nobody knew it would be so soon. hes literally like my best friend he has been ever since i was little and he means the world to me. he got diagnosed august of last year and its been like a fucking nightmare ever since. And on top of that i lost agnes like less than a fucking week aftwr i got the news about my uncle its literally been crushing and its hard for me to want to do anything at all and nobody even wants to TALK about it im just supposed to deal alone and my dad will not stop pressuring me to finish getting my degree and get a job and i know i should and i want to but its impossible to do anytbing at all im so exhausted like physically i can barely stay awake and i just feel so isolated. And then we've been taking care of my uncles dog for the last year obviously since he cant and shes never liked me too much but she tolerates me because Im a sucker and i love giving her little treats like peanut butter and any nibbles of what im eating aslong as its safe bht i dont know whats happened in the last few weeks she has completely flipped the switch and i genuinely cannot leave my room anymore without her baring her teeth at me and growling and lunging for me. shes gotten me really bad a couple times thats what that bruise was from and i have some nasty gashes and scars on my feet and legs like ive never bled that much it soaked thru my sock and all over the floor she completely scares the shit out of me i cant even be near her without bawling my eyes out anymore. my parents are like yeah yeah well we'll talk to your uncle soon about getting her some training but not now and dont mention it because youll upset him. Like i think hes going to be more upset that his dog is trying to fucking kill me or something than you asking if he would pay for her to go. somebwere i dont know anywhere. i dont want anything to happen to her like putting her down shes not a bad dog atall she just had such a hard time with different owners as a puppy. it makes me feel awful to say but i wish to fucking god she was anywhere but here not just cuz she scares me but Im scared for the cats too. shes surprisingly aloof towards them but i dont know. i thought she was fine with me too and now. Sprry this is all crazy personal and like batshit to post online if you read all of this um. sorry do you still like me etc i dont have any joke to wrap it up with literally every good thing in my life is crumbling around me and i cant do anything about it nor do i have to tools to deal with it emotionally and i want to blow my head off 👍

[liechi-berry-imagines]

Suppose their (soon to be) s/o's a grunt in their organization, how would each of the pokevillains go about with seducing them into staying by their side and (more importantly) joining them in the bedroom? 👀💦

*cracks knuckles* I'll try my best 👀💦

Giovanni

He wouldnt do much of anything at first, just watching them from a distance. He will start calling them more and more to his office to do random tasks. One day when they're cleaning his desk off while he watches from behind in his desk chair, he slowly wraps his hands around their waist and pull them into his lap. He tells them that they caught his eye and wants them by his side, more than just a grunt and he will pay anything for it. While his hands are on their thighs.

ORAS archie

He invited them over to go surfing after work. After they tell him taht they dont know how to surf, he takes this opportunity to teach them. He tries to hide his blush when seeing them in their swimsuit. He gets a surfboard that's for beginners and goes on to teach them. When in the water, the grunt is having difficulty and is stiff, while on their knees trying to stand on the surfboard. After a few hours of this, they get back to the base and are going to change into dry clothes. Archie says he has a new uniform in his room. After they follow him there, he pins them to the wall, moves his head closer and kiss their cheek, saying how good they are doing today, but itll be better if they were by his side instead.

ORAS Maxie

Once they catch his eye, he doesnt know what to do. As is been a long while since he had a crush or anything, it hit him like a truck. After a while of thinking it through, he finds an idea to slowly get closer. He would ask them to do coffee runs for him everyday, and he would compliment something about them. Compliments like "I love how your hair looks today" and he would feel amazing seeing their face light up and them smiling at that. One day he pretends to "accidentally" spill coffee on their shirt, and apologize. Then he says it's okay if they took their shirt off there, he wouldnt mind. They blush and giggle a little, and Maxie blushes realizing what he said. "Or I can take it off for you" he says in a purr as he gets closer, holding the bottom of their shirt.

RSE Archie

He would probably be flirtatious, always wanting this grunt to feel his muscles or something. Even asks if he can massage them after hard days. One day after a very difficult mission, he calls them to his room. Once they get there, he asks if they need another massage. After the nod shyly, he asks if they can lay down on his bed as it's easier. Once they lay on their belly and get gets ontop of them to message their shoulders and back, he tries to hold himself back from just ravaging them. As he slowly and deeply message them, they make low moans and stick their butt up against his crotch. He instantly because hard and just starts grinding into them

RSE Maxie

He would make missions where it's only the two of them. He will get closer by each one they do, but he will act distant just to make the grunt confused. Sometimes he will "accidentally" brush up against them and pretend he didnt mean it at all. One time they make a mistake during a mission and after they get back to the base, he calls them to his quarters. They sit on the couch across from his desk nervously, an he glares holes into them, but smirks. He stands up, slowly walking over to them, and tells them to look at him. He grabs their wraith to stand up and holds them in his grasp tightly. He starts saying what hes been planning for this long, but the grunt doesnt focus in his words, they just stand there blushing as he grinds into them while he speaks. He grabs the back of their hair and kisses them, it escalates

Cyrus

He doesn't know he likes the grunt at first. He starts giving the grunt more attention and special tasks without realizing, as well as giving them extra speeches during a coffee break or something. The admins found out and would tease him, then they would get pinched for doing it. Once he realizes he has...feelings for someone, he locks himself in his room. During this time is when this grunt and him share time by having coffee together. When they get there and see its locked, they get worried. They knock, and here sniffling. After some persuading, he unlocks the door slowly. They step in and see him. He takes a depe breath and explains everything. Then he gets over confident, and grabs them in for a deep kiss. Its sloppy but they dont care. The grunt kicks the door closed and deepens the kiss

Ghetsis:

He would treat them like a queen/king/anything in between. He would give compliments but it would sound kinda condescending but its better than what he says about everyone else. Hed invite them to his place in the base to hear an important speech that you have to tell the people of Unova, while they write down what he wants, he plays with their hair which is kinda distracting. After hes done with what they wrote down for it. He will take their hand and lead them to his bedroom. Saying he has another thing in mind.

Lysandre

Once he starts getting feelings for this grunt, he would start to invite them to his cafe, give them free lunches and coffee whenever they please. He would compliment them everyday and get them to help him more with Team Flares plans. Hed also give them a rare Holo Caster, with his number on it. One day he asks them out to a fancy restaurant and they can order anything off of the menu, he wouldnt mind. After an evening of that, he will hold their hands and ask them if they wanna join him in his room, after they say yes, he will gently carry them to his room and his room already looks set up with candles and everything, showing that he was planning on something

Guzma:

He would walk with them to and from the old mansion to missions and would worry about them. He would check in on them alot because he knows people are assholes. One time he saw another grunt slap their ass and that grunt wasnt seen again. He called them to his room after that to talk. Once the grunt got there, he apologized for what that other grunt did even though it wasnt his fault. He Pat's his lap and asks with a smirk if sitting in his lap will make them feel better. He then started kissing anywhere he can and holding them tightly with his strong arms, calling them so many nice things. He picked them up and flopped them in the bed 💦

Lusamine

She would notice how good they are at the aether foundation and treat them for a day with her to online shop. She buys them anything they like. She looks at them, "you know I can be your sugar mommy right?" she giggles. " But that means pulled have to pay me back in physical attention~" she strokes their face with her slender fingers. "What do you say?" She says how cute of a sugar baby they would be. After they agree, she makes them straddle her on the desk and pulls them in for a deep kiss

[oatchi]

TFA Optimus for the ask game :3c

absolutely right away (under read more because. well. im insane)

favorite thing about them he is probably one of my favourite "non regular" interpretations of optimus ever. to make a guy who is normally the old and knowledgeable leader of autobots just some guy who is still learning is sooo good. and they play it so well. im also a huge sucker for any time an optimus is allowed to make mistakes and be filled with rage and theres actual repercussions for this. more of a general show thing but the relationships he carries with his team and other bots in general is sooo ahuuuu (crying sobbing breaking the windows)

least favorite thing about them i will say as much as im a fan of what i said, i do think they shouldve perhaps pushed it a little farther. i love the scene where he snaps under stress and yells at his team! but i think it couldve gone farther, maybe having optimus and team forced to learn more trust in the other again. i get its a show for kids, so all talk wouldnt have been great. i guess what im saying is i just think they really couldve benefited from more episodes to delve into the whole "hes just some guy forced to deal with all of this" thing. analysis about how no one interprets him correctly in universe and out of universe etc etc. specifically in a post megatron defeat context i wouldve loved to see them push optimus and everyone realize hes just some guy when he snaps, not some holy figure who was held at that standard because he brought the allspark home and defeated their enemy singlehandedly (although, he did do all of that, i suppose.)

favorite line can i count the whole scene from return of the headmaster where optimus first finds sentinels head as a line. i love that exchange so much. who doesnt love optimus completely breaking character to cackle wildly at sentinel and then tease him. if i cant, then i do think two of my other favourites have to be one from later in that episode and one from decepticon air. first one when hes fighting henry masterson, he says "oh yeah, im so LEET!" and optimus responds "oh yeah? well, i have no idea what that means!" with so much confidence. the second is optimus crawling around in a vent going "suuure, transwarp me on to the ship, rescue my old buddy from a bunch of decepticooons, itll be fuuun!" very sarcastically as if he wasnt the one who demanded to be transwarped on to that ship

brOTP not really a "bro"tp but one of my favourite platonic relationships optimus has is with ratchet. i love how they interact and how they both try to get the other to talk about what hurts them, while also trying to dance around their own personal issues. they manage to have a near familial relationship and yet the whole thing is flipped on its head in terms of leadership which makes it a very interesting balancing game. not to talk about the scene where optimus snaps again, but when optimus tells ratchet to take the key from sari and ratchet tries to respond as a friend first and then quietly goes "yes sir" .... 🥺not even mentioning how the rest of that episode is spent with ratchet and optimus talking about how he responded and how RATCHET of all people thinks optimus is going too hard on them.... good god

OTP everyone come point and laugh at the senop shipper i know i know. im a very pro "optimus and sentinel sit down and talk about All Of That at some point" kind of guy. i do think with a lot and i mean a lot of work, one could perhaps even put blackarachnia back there with them. but personally i think baby steps are whats important and just getting ba to be friends with them again is enough. like theres soooo much going on there i would say it would probably be damaging even to try and make things like they were (the tumblr user then realizes hes been speaking with full confidence about the assumption that optimus sentinel and elita were in a poly relationship before archa seven without clarifying at all) but i DO think it would be beneficial for optimus and sentinel to sit down and go "hey, you are the only other person in the world who knows exactly, specifically, what i went through. and while one of us has made new connections and come to peace with himself and the other shut off all connections and is still striving to be the best, we are both now put in this really awkward political position and the longer we sit here the more we both have these negative feelings growing in us for one reason or another." i promise i wont talk too much longer but basically please for the love of god optimus sit down and say "i used to think i wanted to be a hero, a leader, but as they all look at me like im some kind of savior, i realize i just wanted to be treated normally. and now im not ever going to be. im not even sure i want to be magnus." and please for the love of god sentinel sit down and say "you dont want that? you dont want all that power? why? with all that power, you could change all of cybertron to be the best it could be. nothing bad would ever happen again if i was there." not outright saying anything and perhaps even seeming pompous to other people but specifically to optimus he knows exactly why he feels like that. anyways

nOTP megop shippers get hit with my truck (the truck is optimus)

random headcanon optimus was originally like the smallest bit taller than sentinel and when sentinel realized this he got the most minor, unnoticeable unless you knew, height boosters. somehow, optimus got taller on earth again, perhaps with the reformatting, and upon realizing, sentinel did it again. this is why no one can tell which out of the two of them is taller or if theyre the same height/why it changes episode to episode in universe. maybe even optimus realizes and decides to fuck with him and have ratchet install the same in him. it literally doesnt matter at all in the long run its like 1 real human inch but both of them know. another one just for fun this literally isnt true but i love to imagine on his cybertronian design hes has a literal boob window. like the weird design under the blue glass is his protoform. this is so untrue because we would literally see his spark but i think its funny to imagine him on cybetron tits out while training for the elite guard (FREAKS WHO TREAT OPTIMUS WEIRD DISREGARD THIS I WILL KILL YOU)

unpopular opinion i dont know if its unpopular or not but (looks up at my previous response) (looks back) optimus literally has no ass. please stop pretending he does. he is built like a stereotypical superhero. he has boobs sure but ass...? where.....? his hips and thighs are so thin. he has crazy calves though i guess. also i do think he would squish you like a grape if he knew the way you treated him and wrote him if you do the uwu baby super sexualized thing to him.

song i associate with them (going through my playlists) actually that action is so funny to say i only have a sentinel playlist. though actually i do think Human of the Year by Regina Spektor could be so very optimus. its about the "isnt this what you wanted? youre a hero. you won." also sorry to be a little animation meme boy but literally Ghosts by Jacob Tillberg is so.... along came a spider literally. i think i saw you but i know im not supposed to i must be dreaming because i dont believe in ghosts etc etc throws up cries dies imagining an animation meme that i cannot possibly produce and also its 2022

favorite picture of them sorry for this but it literally has to go to meep, gif i made in reference to this tfp gif me and my friends found of tfp optimus saying meep

close second is this gif from episode 3 that i made nonlooping for discord emoji reasons

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”