#but it's not all like this. the rest is just mediocre-bad or ok. and it was much worse in the past | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yuzukult · 1 year ago

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yours, but not yours 06 || csc & reader

title: yours, but not yours 06 pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader/oc genre: angst, fluff, eventual smut, fake dating!au, bad influence!seungcheol, nice guy syndrome!namjoon, mechanic!seungcheol wc: 6.7k (1k per month i disappeared lol) warnings: profanity, mentions of sex a/n: ... hopefully y'all didn't forget me,, if this chapter is mediocre i am so sorry i'm trying my best here T_T i had to rewrite the chapter a couple times & ended up going with a different route (which may be slightly unexpected) but the series isn't over yet !! this is the calm before the storm ok

There’s nothing worse than being proven wrong.

It’s like when you’re a toddler, your mom tells you to not eat the spicy slice of pork belly, knowing very well that you wouldn’t be able to handle it but you still beg her anyways. Then when you’d finally get a bite, your face contorts into a pained one, desperately wishing that water would be more relieving to the tongue as it is to a house fire. Or like when your high school best friend told you to maybe not get involved with the guy who has quite the reputation, but your constant urge to break the rules practically drowns you, so you go for him anyway. Then, when he left you crying outside on his porch, beseeching him to come back after you clearly saw him cheating on you with that other pretty girl in your Art class with that cool hot pink dyed strip of hair, you’re yet proven wrong again, only to be running to your best friend’s house after you regained your senses.

This is probably another one of those times. And truthfully, maybe you’ve evolved, but there’s this part of you that wishes you’re wrong.

Seungcheol is definitely nothing close to what you’d ever expect to be your type. He’s not the traditional kind of guy—office job, either living alone and saving for a house or lives in a house he owns, has a car, wears business casual clothes on the weekdays, maybe even into different types of beers, occasionally plays a gaming console—instead, he’s a mechanic with a motorcycle and likes to flirt with you whenever he gets the chance. He favors the torn up and stained attire, despite having money (which… you’d only find out not too long ago) but he does love alcohol. Whiskey being on the top of his list; beer is more of an option for social events, he mentions it the one night he stayed late in the garage when you came down with two bottles in hand. “I had leftovers. They were gonna go bad if I left it any longer,” you said as you handed over the Miller Lite. He popped the cap off on the edge of the workstation, swapping it with you after, then opening his own in the same way. “Let’s not put it to waste.”

And here you are, two days after the event, groggily putting laundry into the washer with your head full of—you guessed it!—Choi Seungcheol.

The last encounter was left with you exiting his childhood bedroom with disheveled hair, wet panties, and awkwardly adjusting the fabric of your dress. No phone call to follow up, no text—nothing. Fucking radio silence.

How does someone fucking rail you into the mattress, whisper the dirtiest things in your ear, then claim you as their own and suddenly just go off the grid right after? You didn’t see him for the rest of the night, and when you went back to Rowoon, he didn't interrogate you on your relationship with Seungcheol after he shut him up. The whole thing was eating you up inside to the point that you were fucking wishing that Rowoon would ask, just to have a soundboard for this dilemma.

Was that the finale of it all? Is this the end of You & Seungcheol: The Not-So Love Story? He hasn’t even been back to the garage yet, and it’s got you pondering why he didn’t even bother to send a fucking text. A text! It’s not that hard to send a text.

But maybe this is what that whole “karma” thing people keep talking about—what goes around comes around, right?

You groan. Slamming the door shut, you pull out the dispenser drawer of thr washing machine aggressively. Just like when he pushed you against the wall that night, knee shoving your legs apart as he looked at your lips with furrowed brows. You couldn’t help but grip onto his biceps—he was so thick in that shirt, hugging every curve of his body in waves you didn’t know would leave you breathless from the sight. How is he so hot when he’s angry? He didn’t even have a right to be, you weren’t his (even though he continuously thrusted his hips into yours, heated breath against your neck with the word, “mine,” constantly falling off his tongue effortlessly), but god he was good at convincing you that you were.

You shake your head. Fuck! This is frustrating. Not sexually frustrating, (you’re lying, that’s definitely part of it), but frustrating in the fact that you don’t know where this leaves you. Are you still fighting? Do you make up? What… now? And why the fuck do you keep finding yourself asking the same goddamn fucking question with him?

Nearly overflowing the compartment for the detergent, you quickly grab a wet rag to wipe off the excess that spills as you mutter a couple curses underneath your breath.

He’s got you in a chokehold; how is it that a guy who wasn’t even on your fucking radar suddenly the only one you can think about? Even when you’re vacuuming your living room, you don’t even recall grabbing it from the closet. All you have infiltrated your mind is Choi Seungcheol.

Honestly, you’re a dick.

For one, you’re finally coming to your senses that disregarding Seungcheol’s feelings isn’t fair. He’s been nothing but helpful the entire time you’ve known him; last month, he replaced your windshield wipers when he noticed the rubber was tearing off. He ended up pulling out the weeds from the front of your house after the awkward attempt to water them, and not to mention, he came up to your home when he heard a screech (you’re afraid of cockroaches, and you didn’t admit it even after Seungcheol killed it with a flip flop).

But who really is the dick here? He hasn’t called you, texted you, or anything really. Quite literally have given you the post-nut clarity you needed, only for him to ghost you.

To fucking ghost you! The guy who said he’s head over heels for you, swooning all your friends into believing he’s your boyfriend, and well—also pretending to be your boyfriend, even when he knows what the consequences for it are.

Then again, who cares… right? He’s just some buff mechanic, a fuckboy, and a tenant.

(You almost used the “tenant” excuse to text him, but you hold yourself back and don’t. Only because when the 25th rolls around, you actually have to ask him for rent.)

As you’re making your bed, throwing the sheets up to float down and align with the mattress, your phone rings.

At first, you think it’s your mom, so you let it ring for a little. She has the tendency to never pick up the phone, and although you never have the audacity to ignore her call, you let it ring a couple times out of pure pettiness.

That is, until you realize it’s actually Seungcheol’s name on the lockscreen.

“Hey,” he greets; it’s a mixture of uncertainty and excitement, probably because he knows what he did wrong in terms of leaving you hanging but he misses hearing your voice. “Um, how are you?”

“Not great.”

“Oh? What’s wrong?”

You roll your eyes, despite him not being able to see the action right now, he could feel the burn through the phone. “Actually, don’t answer that. I know, I—”

“What happened?” You snap, pacing in your bedroom. “You fucking told me that you were anything but a fuckboy, and the moment that I let myself be vulnerable, you just leave me hanging? What the fuck was that? Am I just wasting my time with you, Seungcheol?”

It stings.

Of course, everything with you stings. In both a good and a bad way, the words you say always seem to ache, tighten, and sting his chest, all from a variety of emotions you spew out so transparently. You’re so real and raw in the way that if he fully commits to you, that’s it—he’s done. There’s no going back to the lifestyle he had before, no fucking around and dicking around.

And as scary as that is for him, hearing that it’s with you, he’s okay with it.

But he’s now in the position where he doesn’t know how to make that happen. Not after all the current events.

“I got caught up,” he says, unable to even believe himself despite it being completely true. The night of the event, you found yourself scrambling out of his bedroom after sex and his dad called about some emergency with the company—Seungcheol has been in Malaysia since. “I really wanted to call and text—really, I just… didn’t know what to say.”

You scoff in disbelief. “Anything would’ve sufficed. I don’t know where that leaves us now. I’m trying, Seungcheol, I admit I was a jerk for disregarding your feelings and never taking you seriously. But when you pull a stunt like this, it doesn’t really make me believe that you’re not just setting me up.”

He stays silent for a moment; you could almost hear the ringing in your ears from the quietude, and you wonder what’s going through his mind.

“Seungcheol?”

“Yeah,” he says breathily. “Yeah, I—I’m still here.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Can you—Can you take off? Just the Friday. Can I get you on a plane on Thursday night, and you come meet me for the weekend? My treat.”

Choi Seungcheol never really lived an average life.

It all really started when his mom met his dad back in college; this innocent, bowl-cut boy with the thickest glasses of the century, eyesight nearing partial blindness had a crush on the prettiest girl in his economics class. His reputation was practically nonexistent other than for the fact that he looked nerdy, and hers was being… almost every positive adjective in the book. He’d gather the courage to ask her out, expecting a rejection, only for her to turn his way, those chocolate irises sparkling underneath the hallway lights while she said the word that was opposite to his predictions. Yes.

She stuck with him through all of college—even though she had a line of suitors waiting for her, she was always in love with the reputable nerdy boy. Despite what people thought of him, Seungcheol’s dad never failed to make sure she felt loved and supported through the entirety of their relationship. Even when he had these big goals to build a company from the ground up, he kept her as his priority and that never changed.

It’s a love story for the ages, one that his mom reiterated as she tucked Seungcheol into bed during his youth, but he didn’t quite resonate with it because how could someone like his dad be the one to make his mother swoon in that way? The man who sat at the end of the dining table, reading glasses at the tip of his nose even after getting lasik to rid himself of those stocky lenses, physically there but not… present.

Even now, as he’s sitting beside his father at his hotel room’s dining table, he still doesn’t feel him.

But to be fair, can anyone find comfort in a room full of stone tiles, high ceilings, and a chandelier that probably costs more than the average car times eighty?

“Tell your brother that he’s coming tomorrow,” he says, eyes never leaving the screen of his iPad. His father has since graduated from a newspaper to a tablet. “He has a presentation Friday, and he needs to rehearse everything he says. Can’t believe he fucked up the last one.”

Seungcheol sucks his cheeks. He clicks send on the message meant for his brother, feeling more and more like an assistant than someone who was next in line for the throne of the company. “Aight. Sent. Why am I here, by the way? You just so happened to drag me here? I thought there was a company emergency.”

He finally puts down his tablet. “There is. I’m dying.”

Seungcheol’s heart drops. “You’re… dying?”

“Well, not that I’m sick—god forbid, but you never know when I’ll die.”

That pretty much explains the origin of the majority of Seungcheol’s traumatic childhood.

“Dad, I don’t think it works like that,” he retorts with the quirk of his brow. “I thought it was a literal emergency. I left—”

“What? The garage? Come on, don’t act like I don’t know. I keep tabs on all my children—like right now, your brother is at his girlfriend’s house. The one he has yet to introduce to us, and in fact, I don’t think I like her.”

Seungcheol’s face contorts in confusion. He knows his dad like the back of his hand; if he didn’t know about the garage, Seungcheol would’ve been surprised. It’s almost an expectation that he would track both Seungcheol and his brother, and truthfully, it wouldn’t be totally out of character if he was tracking Seungcheol’s mother either.

“You’re always pressuring us to get married and run the company—isn’t him having a girlfriend just him going the right route? I’un get it. Isn’t that enough?”

Maybe that’s why Seungcheol only had flings; the girls weren’t ever disappointed in sex, and they never stuck around enough to figure out that he carried so much baggage. The wealth in his pockets might’ve been the reason for the hearts in their eyes (and his dick), but if they knew the weight of expectations from his parents that came with it, they’d run in a heartbeat. He didn’t want to bring anyone close enough that they’d meet his family, have to deal with the burdens he did, and it’s mostly why he’s been hesitant about telling you… everything. Even when he wanted to.

“I wanted him to date that girl, the one whose father owns KS Bank.”

Of course, everything loops back into business.

“Well,” Seungcheol begins, getting up from his seat. “He’s happy. Regardless if his girlfriend is a stripper or her dad owns KS Bank. If you want both of us to run the company, we should at least come home to a companion that we love and care for, shouldn’t we?”

His dad returns to his iPad, adjusting his glasses once again. “It’s not beneficial for the family business.”

Deja Vu hits—that same feeling he got when Namjoon swung at him returns, except the courier this time is his own father.

But just as he reacted with Namjoon, he remains cool.

Seungcheol probably rehearsed it a million times in front of the mirror, all the possible things he could say to refute his father’s beliefs. If his brother wasn’t in love with the girl he’s supposed to marry, sure, her status would definitely benefit the company, but… would he even want to help out anymore? Isn’t his happiness the priority?

Nonetheless, he knows that fighting back isn’t worth it.

Instead, he figures channeling that energy toward you would be more productive.

Although, with the last encounter the two of you had, it’s a bit doubtful he’d be able to achieve anything from being miles apart. For one, asking you to come see him when he had absolutely no plan whatsoever on what would happen when you arrive is… bold. Not to mention, you rejected his offer, saying something along the lines of, “that’s not how asking for forgiveness works,” and “things don’t get resolved on some ‘vacation high,’ Choi Seungcheol.”

And by all means, you’re 100% right.

This is an entirely new territory for him—he’s never actually had to ask or beg for forgiveness before because quite frankly, he never cared to. Burning bridges wasn’t a new concept for him, it was something he frequents. His mom never seemed disappointed, so he never felt the need to be apologetic, even if he felt the guilt, the words never emitted. Or when his father made that signature displeased ‘tsk’, Seungcheol had always been below the expectation that forgiveness wasn’t even worth chasing after.

But you—this experience with you, is a whole other thing.

That guilt gnaws on his insides brutally; he could physically see the impact that you have on him from his disheveled hair, bags underneath his eyes, and the sullen look on his face. Do you hate him? Do you want nothing to do with him? Did he ruin all his chances with you?

He’s never really had a serious relationship before—well, rephrase, Seungcheol has only ever had one serious relationship. “The Classic Couple,” was what they were called; they were the pair that the wealthiest parents would arrange for their children. The only thing wrong with them was that they didn’t work—or well, Seungcheol couldn’t make it work.

With a click of his tongue, reality settles in. If he really wants this, truly feels like there could potentially be more with you, then he has to make it work. This isn’t like the woman before you, you’re… you. Whether or not it lasts forever or just a couple months, he likes you—shouldn’t that be enough? Especially when you’re finally opening the door and hearing him out, stepping out of your own comfort zone?

“I’m gonna head back home then, since it seems like I’m not needed here,” Seungcheol says, grabbing his phones with a soft ‘thanks’ to the staff as they clear the plates. “I’m sure you two can handle things from here. If there really is an emergency—”

“You should’ve stayed with that girl,” Seungcheol’s dad interrupts, infamously cutting him off as usual. “The girl you dated a couple years ago. Margaret.”

“Maeri,” Seungcheol corrects. “Her name’s Maeri.”

And for the first time, his father’s lips curl into a smile. “So, you remember her.”

“Well, we dated for a while.”

“Shouldn’t have lost her,” he says, inhaling deeply. “I think I can reach out to her father and make an agreement. I’m sure she’d be happy to have you again. I ran into her at the banquet and when I brought up your name, her face lit up.”

Seungcheol stares at his father in disbelief. “Again, I feel like we should have more control over who we end up with, not you. I’m more than happy to try assisting you with whatever it is you need but I should be the one who chooses who I want to be with.”

“And? You chose her before, you can choose her again.”

Seungcheol quits this time, reminding himself again that he needs to preserve his energy for you.

There are a mixture of emotions that are flowing inside of you, eagerness and confusion, unsure of which to display. Do you showcase your excitement and elation or do you express the frustration and annoyance? Normally, it doesn’t really matter which you decide to promote; it’s only because this time, your reaction will result in what happens next.

Seungcheol sits on the hood of your car; in a leather clad jacket that hugs his arms so tightly, you’re almost tempted to spill an insult from between your lips on how he should get a size up (even though you most definitely can’t even stop staring), hair slicked back, and baggy black jeans, it’s the signature look of practically every label that Namjoon had given him. Seungcheol doesn’t say a word—instead, he watches you attentively, trying his best to determine what the expression on your face depicts.

He can’t quite tell what you’re thinking.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, finally shattering the silence. “Get off my car.” You don’t really mean that, you like him here, and the fact that he’s back, still himself with that smirk on his face, only comforts your heart.

“Come on, baby,” he calls out, ignoring your sharp words with his fingers barely grasping onto yours, tugging you in close. The pet name that’s disgusting from a stranger is somehow sweet when it slips off his tongue, luring you in like some hypnosis spell. “You don’t miss me?”

Of fucking course you do—if it’s one thing that you admit, it’s that you were wrong about him. He’s not what those labels people whispered through the grapevine, completely different from an unattached, apathetic guy who doesn’t want anything that lasts longer than a night.

But you’re not gonna let him know that. At least, not that easily.

“No,” you retort through your gritted teeth, almost as if it’ll filter the insincerity of that response. “What’s there to miss?”

His hand slips into yours, interlocking your fingers before pulling you nearer. “Everything. Was it quiet down here? Were you lonely? Did it feel weird not to see my motorcycle out front? Or the garage open? What about my company? I know you hate the way I chew on gum, but I’m sure you missed hearing it in the background.”

You chew the inside of your cheek.

He’s so cute, and you feel like an idiot for being another girl that ends up on the list of falling for his irresistible charms.

“I felt like a one-night stand, Seungcheol,” you confess, his full government name slipping off your tongue with bitterness that hits his ears. He couldn’t get a pet name out of you, but his nickname is enough and his smirk is wiped from his face within seconds. “We fucked then you suddenly pick up a phone call then I just—I never hear from you again.”

“I admit that it didn’t help my case,” he sighs, pushing himself off your car. You’ve got your arms crossed against your chest, a shield to protect yourself from him. “And I can fully explain.”

He starts off with his dad—this cold, distant man somehow ended up with a woman that’s the opposite. Underneath that hard facade, he’s a father who wants his two sons to run his business, only that neither of them inherited the drive to push the company the way that he does himself.

“… That night that I left, I didn’t come back to the party ‘cause my dad made it seem like the company was goin’ under,” he discloses, deciding that now, he isn’t going to hide anything from you anymore. “I thought I had to go into this big board meeting with my brother and sign off to sell shares of our company ‘cause my dad fucked up or something.”

You roll your lips. There’s a bit of regret for making him feel bad, but it doesn’t discount how he made you feel either. “And then?”

“It was some stupid trap,” he groans, shaking his head. “He’s really good at doing that ‘we’re blood,’ guilt scheme. But uh, listen… I don’t expect you to forgive me or for this to fix up overnight.”

“Then what do you expect?”

“Honestly, um,” and for a moment, he pauses before chuckling. “I really contemplated asking you to be my fake girlfriend. My dad has this thing where he’s constantly trying to set me up with other women—”

The fronts of your brows shift together.

“—but,” Seungcheol adds, hoping you pause your thoughts from going in a direction where you’d stray from him. “To me, there’s just you.”

You blink blankly. “And what does that mean for us then? Where do we go from here?”

He slowly eases his arms to wrap around your waist, hesitant in his movements to confirm that you’re okay with his touch, only to then feel the anxiety lift from his shoulders when the weight of your arms replaces it. “We can… fix us. If you can push aside all the prenotions you’ve had of me, view me as someone that could be your boyfriend, then I want this if you do.”

Heat rushes to your cheeks; Seungcheol always manages to make your heart skip in its beats and cause that churning in the pit of your stomach. “Okay… but—” his smile fades the moment the second word appears, “—but we have work to do. You can’t exactly say we started off on the right foot.”

That stupid grin pulls on his lips once again as he settles back down onto the hood of your car, legs parting for you to sit yourself in his thigh, arms never leaving your frame. “I agree, pretty. I’m ready to do this when you are.”

And with a soft kiss planted on your nose, the comfort and warmth it brings makes you feel like this… is right.

Seungcheol admits that within the last month, his life has been pretty mundane in comparison to what he’s used to.

For one, he hasn’t received a call from his parents. Maybe they’re way too occupied to be concerned about him or that there wasn’t enough going on for him to tag along for, but all he knows is that it’s been radio silent on their end. Plus, the garage has been rather busy lately—he credits you for the increase in foot traffic, recalling how you rolled your eyes and snatched his phone from his hands on a Saturday night lounging on your couch, muttering “how are you supposed to get any business if you don’t advertise yourself?” Truthfully, he’s been banking on word-of-mouth from your neighbors that found out he does car maintenance, but this newfound array of customers isn’t so bad.

He likes the simplicity of this—in the mornings, he’d get to the garage early in the morning and park his motorcycle right by your steps. Pushing the overhead door with a rumble, he’d brush his hands off from the dirt residue left on the rubber at the bottom before placing his hands on his waist to take a good look at his shop—yes, his shop. He’d gotten so accustomed with calling it a literal garage that he forgets that it’s really a shop. Brew a pot of coffee, turn on the little TV he got for waiting customers (really, it’s for himself) before he got to business.

Then, around 6PM, you’d be back from work, dragging your legs up the steps into your home and he’s behind shortly after closing up. He enjoys how domestic everything with you is—cooking dinner together, eating dinner together, and then washing the dishes with one person scrubbing and the other rinsing before settling onto the couch to watch something on TV. Last night, you suggested, “King the Land,” which he normally isn’t a fan of watching K-Dramas, but with you, he finds anything entertaining.

Although the old version of himself wouldn’t ever confess this but… he likes being a boyfriend.

Maybe it’s just specifically that he likes being your boyfriend, considering in his last relationship, he didn’t favor that title as much. But now, he finds himself getting a little giddy inside when you introduce him in that way, almost like little kids get when their crush approaches them.

There’s something about the way you’ve given him a spot in your dresser for him to leave his spare clothes in case he unexpectedly stays the night, and how there’s a toothbrush residing in the cup beside yours, or even the fact that you’ve bought another set of slippers that’s just for him… it makes him feel more at home than at his own home. Seungcheol didn’t sleepover during his wave of late night escapades, but with you, he finds that the left side of the bed unspokenly assigned to him is something he didn’t know he craved for.

Seungcheol loves it. He loves all of it. And truthfully, if he didn’t catch himself before spilling it, he would’ve said he loves you, too.

Today is slightly different than usual, deciding that he would leave the estate earlier (and weirdly enough, living under the same roof as his parents didn’t tempt them from bugging him recently, but they did live on the opposite side of the home) so he could stop by the local coffee shop and grab you a cold brew.

You’re so pretty when you look surprised to see him outside your front door thay morning.

“Hey gorgeous,” he greets, that cheesy smile never leaving his face. You grimace at the term of endearment, but your expression juxtaposes how you feel inside. “I thought you’d like a change of pace and enjoy something from the cafe instead.”

“Thanks,” you mutter, grabbing the drink from his hands. “Vanilla?”

“Three pumps. Just how you like it, baby.”

You’re still so awkward when he says things like that—it used to be so easy to roll your eyes and push him away when he’d do it in such a sleazy way. But now, knowing the genuinity behind the words, he leaves you flustered. Even if he’s annoying and it’s the grossest thing he’s ever said.

“I have about six appointments today,” Seungcheol reaches over to open the lid of his black coffee, the steam rising from the paper cup. “You said you had a doctor’s appointment? So you’ll be back earlier?”

“Mm,” you hum in agreement, zipping up your backpack. “I’ll grab lunch for us?” And shortly after, he watches you drive away to work before getting back to the garage so he could greet his next client.

If this is what it’s like to be part of the working class, Seungcheol could get used to this.

He acknowledges that ever since the two of you had resolved your issues, he got a bit carried away. Investing in his makeshift shop has become a whole ordeal, only because the constant drilling, clanging, and unnecessary constructing noises from the equipment installers weren’t exactly what he thought was going to come out of it for the first two weeks—but the realization that he could grow his business from the new customers made him excited. For the first time, Seungcheol felt like he was doing something he was proud of.

So yes, driving or walking by this garage in the middle of a city suburb underneath a house with a whole jacking up station for cars looks futile, but the abnormally high ceilings of your garage should be taken advantage of.

He likes this—beneath a car, pushing aside the plastic tray from this 2018 Honda Accord after unscrewing it and unplugging the drain plug before it falls into a bucket he uses as an oil receptacle. This is nice. This is calming. There’s no hollering from board members, no backhanded compliments from his father, and no attempts on pressuring him into doing things he doesn’t want to do like date a girl whose father has a monopoly on owning property the next town over.

Seungcheol just wants to watch a gallon of old oil release from a crankcase and into a bucket.

And honestly, he thinks his thoughts have spoken too soon when he notices a Rolls Royce Boat Tail pull into your driveway.

He hasn’t met everyone in your life, but one thing he knows for sure is that even the wealthiest people you know (Namjoon and Yubin) don’t flaunt their money in front of you. The rest of your friends are middle class, average working people, and the only way someone is driving to your home with a $28 million car is if they’re part of his life.

“Choi Seungcheol,” the person calls out; the door is shut behind him with a thud, Louis Vuitton sunglasses sitting comfortably on his nose with his long brunette hair combed away from his face. He dresses in a flamboyant shirt, the first couple buttons unraveled, and in sandals that cost four times your car. “I heard you do mods over here.”

Seungcheol comes out from the garage, brows furrowing when he realizes who makes an attendance at his shop. Juxtaposing in a stained white tank and the upper half of his overalls tied around his waist, for a moment, he felt like the two of them were part of two different worlds. “Yoon Jeonghan–do you really think you want to mod your car? Do you even know what that means?”

Jeonghan takes off his shades and slides it into his shirt pocket. “Absolutely not, I heard some guy mention it in a movie once,” he grins cheekily. “So, I heard you got a new place.”

“Well, I’m renting a garage.”

Jeonghan blinks blankly. “What’s renting?”

Seungcheol chuckles, walking back to his station as Jeonghan follows in suit. “It’s when you pay someone to use their space,” he grabs a rolling chair from behind a desk and gestures to Jeonghan for him to sit down. “What’s up? What are you doing here? You didn’t come here to get a lesson on renting.”

“I’m more surprised that you don’t own this place,” Jeonghan stares at the chair skeptically before glancing over at Seungcheol who points to it again. “And… not owning any new furniture.”

“It’s an autoshop, Hannie.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t afford clean chairs.”

“Alright, alright,” Seungcheol rolls his eyes, grabbing a rag to wipe the opening for any residual oil. “You come here to lecture me about my place or are you here with an actual reason?”

His friend sighs, finally deciding to plop onto the old swivel chair. “I know you briefly told me that you’re ready to move on from your parents…”

Seungcheol scrunches up his face, grabbing a cylindrical tool from off his cart as he eyes Jeonghan carefully. “Something like that, yeah.”

“And rumor has it, your dad hasn’t been happy about your brother and his new girlfriend.”

“I wouldn’t say new, but my dad has been acting new about her.”

“Well, he’s been making moves to target you instead.”

The tool wraps around the oil filter, and with a bit of strength, it loosens as more oil spills from the sides, flowing into the bucket in unison with Jeonghan’s news.

“He’s targeting me? Stop being so ominous and go straight to the point.”

“Maeri’s back,” Jeonghan finally spills, and Seungcheol pauses in his movements. “Your dad met up with hers the other day—I have this bad feeling he’s gonna try to set something up.”

Out of all the people that Seungcheol has met through his parents and from their “community” (aka the rich people cult), Jeonghan is the only person he trusts. Although Jeonghan will never cut ties from his generational wealth, his loyalty as friend and unconditional support for Seungcheol has always been admirable.

“I mean, he hasn’t called me and—”

“Hey! I’m back! I brought—” you stop in the middle of your driveway, staring at the car you could never afford in your lifetime before looking at Jeonghan and Seungcheol. “I—Oh, uh, hey.”

Jeonghan grins mischievously, stealing a glimpse of Seungcheol then back at you. “Hey, I’m Jeonghan. Seungcheol’s friend.”

You mimic his smile, and something in Seungcheol eats him up whole because he’s quick to speak before you do. “Jeonghan meet—” he says your name, then for a brief pause, he calls you by a label so confidently, he even surprises himself. “—my girlfriend.”

Girlfriend. He hears Pomp and Circumstance play inside of his head, the image of him receiving his diploma at the podium while in a cap and grown flashes before his eyes. Choi Seungcheol has finally graduated from the school of fuckboys, reaching that point in his life where he looks at the prettiest girl who manages to make his stomach tie into knots and call him his—truly his.

“Wow,” Jeonghan clicks his tongue. “Your girlfriend? Insane. I thought you said you weren’t gonna settle.”

He shrugs with that smirk on his face. “Wasn’t. But when you meet a girl like her, who are you to say no?”

Your cheeks heat up as you place the bag of food on the coffee table. “It’s uh… nice to meet you. I didn’t know Seungcheol had friends other than the girls he met at the club.”

Seungcheol shoots a glare but Jeonghan snickers. “I like you already,” he compliments, hand sliding into the pockets of his shorts. “I actually came to convince Seungcheol to attend a fundraiser that my mom is hosting this weekend,” the look Jeonghan gives his friend for a brief moment is suspicious, but the next inquiry gives it away. “… You should come too! Be his date.”

“Oh, um—”

“I’m not sure about that, Hannie,” Seungcheol interrupts, arms crossed over his chest. “I don’t think she’d want to see that part of our lives.”

Jeonghan quirks a brow. “And why not? She’s dating you, right? I’m sure she can answer for herself, and I’m sure she wants to see that side of you and your family.”

Both Seungcheol and Jeonghan divert their attention to you.

“You know, you didn’t have to say yes to Jeonghan,” Seungcheol’s standing outside of your bedroom door, leaning against the wall while waiting patiently for you to get dressed. “It’s a whole thing if we go—it ain’t like going to a work party.”

“Well, he—he made a, ugh,” you grunt, and he could hear you shifting inside with a struggle. “He made a point, if I’m dating you, I’m dating all of you.”

“Baby, why are you getting ready in private again? You’re acting like I haven't seen all of you.”

“I’m just—gah,” you knock your foot into the bed frame and wince. “I feel awkward.”

Truthfully, ever since the two of you had made it official, things haven’t… escalated, ironically. The nights he sleeps over are all pure and innocent; he’d nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, shower you with kisses, and wrap his arms around you to pull you close, resting your head on his chest.

But that was it.

Nothing more.

He hasn’t asked for it or initiated it, mostly because he’s slightly afraid you’d take it the wrong way but quite frankly, he’s been holding himself quite a bit. From when you come out the shower, the thin oversized shirt that hangs from your body is no match for your nipples protruding through the thin fabric, how you bend over to grab something and your sleeping shorts barely covering any skin, and there was even a time where you’d reach over his lap to grab something, breasts brushing against his thighs and ass up, he was wrestling with his sweatpants to hide his raging boner.

Trying to be a respectful gentleman, he keeps his distance. Normally, he’d be bold in his attempts to sway you—just as he did several times, including that night in his bedroom back at home, but now that you’re his girlfriend, it… feels inappropriate?

Weirdly enough?

A part of him is afraid you’d leave, especially when he’s got you now, but he admits that those cold showers aren’t doing any favors for him anymore.

“…Hey,” you call out again, this time it halts his train of thoughts with the door swinging open. Clutching onto the fabric of your dress in the front, his eyes immediately focus on your cleavage. Fuck. “The zipper is kind of low. Can you help me?”

He swallows that brick inside of his throat when you turn around.

Pushing your hair aside, you give him a view of your entire back. The zipper latch is right where your ass curves, and with a sharp inhale, he places a hand on your waist before pulling it up. It feels brutally slow, not to mention when he reaches up higher, he realizes where he expects your bra—there isn’t one. The smoothness of your skin is exposed and his dick twitches in his pants.

“Uh, um. I’m done,” he steps back, clearing his throat. “Ready?”

He feels like a vacuum sucked the air out of his lungs.

To him, you’re gorgeous all hours of the day. But something about today, in that tight fitting dress that hugs the outline of your body so well, and the makeup you applied only amplifies your beauty. He can’t help himself when he’s sneaking glances at your chest then back up to your eyes to the point he needed to get the fuck out of the house before he oversteps a boundary.

“Wow, uh, you look great!” Way to act natural. “Let’s uh, let’s head out.”

“Mkay,” you make your way before him to the front door, rummaging through the closet for your heels, and he turns away when your ass sticks out while you slip on your shoes. “Can you start the car?”

It’s going to be a long night.

← last chapter | next chapter →

#gyukultfics #seungcheol #scoups #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #svt fanfic

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yeahyeahchloe · 1 year ago

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R U Mine?

guitarist!ellie x bassist!reader

synopsis: the tour begins with the first large audience performance, and ellie helps your nervousness.

cw: nsfw, mdni, fingering (r!recieving), oral (r!recieving), praise, dirty talk, choking if u squint, my mediocre first attempt at a drabble/oneshot.

a/n: i wrote this on a whim while i was listening to arctic monkeys and writing pt 4 to iwimh, hopefully this will keep you here before that posts (shes a long one). pls pls be honest with me if this is bad. but if its not and anyone has any requests PLEASE send them in. i love to write.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧‧₊˚

The erupting crowd cheering for your openers sent a crushing feeling straight into your chest, along with the thumping from your heart.

You were currently in your dressing room pacing back and forth while going over the notes to every song over and over in your head.

Its safe to say you were scared shitless.

"Heyyy babe, were on in 20, you pumped or what?" Ellie asked as she burst through the door.

"uhhhmm yeah! Hell yeah! Super pumped!" You said, trying to sound convincing.

Ellie tried to hold it together but ended up bursting out into laughter right in front of you.

"Babe you can play bass like a god, but you suck at lying," she managed to say in between laughter.

You huffed and rolled your eyes before plopping down onto the sofa in the room.

Ellie controlled herself before moving to sit next to you on the couch. She wrapped her arm around both of your shoulders as you turned your head away from her in shame.

"Hey. Heeey," She used the hand belonging to the arm wrapped around you to push your head in her direction. She studied your face for a while before softening her tone. "What could you possibly be nervous about?"

"Wh- everything?? I'm nervous about everything Els. I've started catastrophizing everything and now I can even fucking think straight," you explained in an obviously panicked tone.

"Woah, ok, you just need to relax, and everything will be ok," Se said, reassuringly pulling you closer and rubbing your shoulder.

You buried your face into your hands before mumbling a "How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

Ellie moved so that she was facing you more and removed your hands from you face, before tilting up your head and placing a long, slow kiss on your lips.

She pulled apart and kissed the corner of your lips, before moving to your jaw, then your neck, and when she got to your ear she whispered a soft, "Let me help you,"

You vigorously nodded and lifted your hand up to cradle the back of her neck.

"That's my girl," she said, smirking against your neck before continuing to kiss it.

She moved a hand to rest on your upper thigh and the one that was previously on your shoulder was now firmly gripped on your waist.

Ellie leaned forward and took you into a laying position with her knee resting between your thighs. She pressed it further into your core, electing a moan from your slightly parted lips.

"Let me take care of you sweet girl...make all that stress go away, hm?" Ellie murmured against your ear, moving her hand up from its place on your thigh.

You weakly nodded with a "mm-hmm" before clashing your lips together, parting your lips and allowing Ellie to slip her tongue in to dominate your own. You stifled a moan into her mouth as her hand cupped your clothed cunt under your skirt.

Ellie slipped her other hand under your shirt, taking it off and leaving you bare-chested. She moved both hands up to play with your sensitive nipples before putting her mouth on your tits.

"God, you're so fucking perfect," She moaned into your skin.

Hearing her praise send waves through your body making your pussy wetter by the second.

"Please Ellie, need it,"

She chuckled before moving up, her lips almost touching yours.

"You want me to play with your pretty little pussy, hm? Want me to take away all those pesky nerves?" "she asked, lips moving against your own with every word.

"Yes, Els, please," You begged.

Ellie smirked before kissing your lips, then all down your body until she got to the waistband of your skirt, slowly pulling it off to reveal a pair of black lace panties.

"So fucking perfect," She mumbled, inspecting your every inch.

She moved her head down and kissed both of your thighs before getting to your core and slowly peeling off your panties.

"Always so fucking wet for me, aren't you sweet girl?"

All you could conjure as response was a weak head nod and a slight desperate whimper.

Ellie slid a finger through your folds, gathering your slick on here fingers before pushing one inside of you, immediately causing you to arch your back and buck your hips onto her hand.

She stared for a second before removing her finger and licking a long stripe up your pussy, body jolting when she hit your clit. She made a lewd groaning noise and your taste before she continued to devour your cunt as whines and moans erupted from you.

She entered her finger back into your pussy before curling it just right and hitting the perfect spot, while continuing to tongue your clit.

You already felt the band beginning to build up in your lower stomach as your orgasm approached you.

You were more stressed than you thought.

Ellie must have noticed you clenching around her now two fingers inside of you, because she lifted up her head and tauntingly said: "Already gonna cum for me? I knew you fucking needed it, don't wait baby, cum for me,"

Ellies words just near pushed you over the edge, and what did was one final hard suck on your bud, snapping the band and sending your orgasm electrifying through you.

Ellie pulled out her fingers and licked them clean before coming up and slamming her lips into yours, her tongue entering your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself.

Suddenly there was a knock on your door.

"Hey, babes, we're on in five,"

It was Dina.

"Hey Dina, yep, I will just be right out," you said springing up to redress and put yourself back together.

When you and Ellie were about to head out she stopped you putting two hands on your waist, kissing you softly.

"Nervous?" She asked, smirking.

You playfully rolled your eyes responding with "Only a teeny bit" before kissing her again, and walking out to the awaiting stage.

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

lmk if there are any typos!

#tlou #ellie williams #x reader #abby anderson #joel miller #dinatlou #jessetlou #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #guitarist!ellie #band au #idk #i tried lol #pls be nice to me

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listofwhyyouloveher · 7 months ago

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If you’re still writing plz tag me in part two of the dally faking his death story 🫶🫶 (if you do tags Ofc)

ok tbh i wasnt expecting to make a p2 of this but i was also really rude and left it as a cliffhanger ! the end is sad. but if you want, ask for a p3 and i will make it sweet !

I forgot how pretty y/n was..

"i asked if you were up for a round!" you nearly shouted at him, rage bubbling over. how could he?! leave you, johnny, buck, everyone he knew? but even worse, he embedded the idea of his death, his blood spilled, into your mind.

he silently picked up his cue, shocked. what was he supposed to do?

the game played out silently, you hit ball after ball, kicking his ass in the game. to be honest, you wanted to kick his ass in real life. tears were blinding your eyes as you played. you felt tarnished, like your soul was ripped from you and you tried to sew it back in with mediocre stitching and dental floss. oh it hurt, it hurt bad. halfway through the game, you just couldnt take it anymore. you dropped your cue and left, tears slipping from your eyes.

dal didn't know what to do. if he disturbed the peace he'd grew in this new home, he'd have to risk going back and facing everyone he'd hurt. but he couldn't stand seeing you so ruined. he raced out after you. "y/n!" he called, you stopped, you hadn't heard his voice in a while. it was so perfect, you almost wanted to forgive him. almost. "the fuck do you want winston, or do you have a different name here?" you seethed "y/n i'm so sorry, i had to leave. it was so suffocating in there, every turn made me so choked up i knew i had to leave." he spoke softly, like you would break like glass if he raised his voice. "so you choose to suffocate all the rest of us because you were tired of where you slept at night!?" you screamed, oh were you mad.

"i couldn't have anyone come with me, or know i was leaving, i only drag them down." he said, sighing as if you were a kid that didn't understand 'adult things'

"well you fucking dragged us down thats for sure. now johnnys six feet FUCKING UNDER" your voice got louder, surely attracting attention. dally's eyes widened and he paled. "what?" "he's dead winston. he killed himself." "but.." he started, eyes brimming with tears. he reached out to you but you stepped back. "please y/n.." "if i go home, i promise i won't speak about you and what i saw. i won't come back. what i want you to do is to never forget what you did. i want you to wallow in your own misery, i hope you suffocate in every town you go to, choke in every house and fucking die a loner." you spit. "y/n, that's not fair.." he sobbed.

"you're not a victim dallas. so stop acting like one." you turned your back to him and walked away.

#shroomsroom #clara'sroom #dallas winston x reader #the outsiders x reader #dally winston x reader #dally winston x reader angst #dallas winston x read angst

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uzumakiji · 1 month ago

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heyyy so I'm planning things and here's my notes on the au so far!! definitely going to go more in depth and I'm drawing some stuff rn but this is just to give yall an idea of what the au will look like,,, with my mediocre writing and storytelling skills. lmk if this is awful I haven't fully watched the show in so long,, I need to rewatch it. all the names are stand ins I WILL take suggestions pls help me I'm so bad at naming things

anyways fiddleauthor I saw the tv glow au!!

-after fidd falls in the portal instead of immediately leaving Ford shuts down the portal and convinces him to stay and help take it apart

-Ford realizes that somethings wrong and feels betrayed, +++ his lowkey crush on fidds makes him desperate to try and fix things

-fidd is,,, traumatized. a little. but he's coping!! his friend/old roommate/definitely not gay awakening makes it easier

-bill hates all of this. as soon as Ford falls asleep that night he loses his shit and in a fit of rage absolutely mutilates Ford before taking him to go harass fidds. fidd realizes it's bill cause of his eyes and freaks out even more,, and maybe hits Ford with a frying pan (surprisingly this works and he wakes up)

-Ford feels even MOREEE betrayed after talking to bill in the mindscape + getting possessed and used like a punching bag, starts making plans with fidd to get rid of the mf (this is when fidd makes his memory gun, instead of using it on himself the plan was to use it on Ford in case he was too far gone). in the process, starts the apocalypse. whoops. (bill possesses Ford, gets past fidds and turns on the portal long enough for the rift to form, kind of leads to weirdmegadian but if bill was less bitter about his ex?)

-while fighting him, Bill overpowers them long enough to throw them into a bubble, his own version of the nightmare realm (idk I dont want to call it midnight realm in the au so mini nightmare realm it is!!)

-Ford is born "normal" (5 fingers only). he's also born an only child. he always feels the phantom presence of something missing but doesn't know what. fidds is born is a higher class fancy family and always feels like an outcast, not able to act like the rest of his "family". both are smart but are forced away from things like science and math.

-they start watching a show together about 2 scientists discovering odd creatures in "pines rising". Ford doesn't have a TV at home and has to sneak over to fidds to watch. they watch the season final, remembering who they are and what bill did. Ford struggles to believe it more than Fidd.

-Learning about his true self, Ford blames himself for everything that happened with Bill (its ok bestie I've been gaslighted too it ain't ur fault). he doesn't want to leave the bubble, he's scared and kind of hopes that if he stays everything will fix itself? that he can bury his head in the sand.

-fidds meanwhile, even with some previous lingering resentment can't even imagine Ford blaming himself.

-also yeah they're in love guys IN LOVE

#gravity falls #i saw the tv glow #fiddleauthor #alternative universe

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just-emerald-star · 2 months ago

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Emerald Watches: Disventure Camp S1

Ok soooo I'm officially in break mode & watching various TV Shows + Movies!

We're kicking things off with Disventure Camp. I've been curious about this series since last year, being a Total Drama fan. You can follow this post (+ it's reblogs) as I go through all 3 seasons available.

SEASON 1 (SO FAR)

Little over halfway into S1 (8 Eps) and honestly, I dig it. Pretty solid. I've been told it's a revamp of said season so I took that into account. There's a few hiccups here & there but overall, not bad. Here's my tier list for the cast down below. Since I have more space here, I'll explain a bit more of my thoughts on the cast thus far.

Ellie, Alec, Grett & Miriam are in the top tier section cuz they're all very entertaining to watch thus far. I immediately fell in love with Grett while Ellie, Alec & Miriam came a bit later.

Lill, Drew, Dan & Trevor are all in second tier cuz they're cool enough for me be tuned in when they're around. I'll admit though, Trevor was in the first tier at the start, but he's just a bit too vanilla as a host. He needs a bit more spice to him, but not too much or you'll end up with Derek...more on him down below. Dan & Drew moved up to this second tier as I began seeing a bit more of them.

The Ok tier has the most characters cuz I've been flipping back & forth on them the most thus far. Tom was in the second tier but my god he's losing me. Not as much as his obvious love interest but maaaaan his stuff is mediocre when it's with Jake. Nick was fine but he wasn't much of anything. Gabby was just starting to grow on me but then Episode 8 happened. She gets points for being part of the better queer pairing in this season. Jensen exists. That side plot is dope though.

Fiore was originally in the last tier. I can't stand her but as of right now, I do appreciate her contribution to the drama across the board. I'll give her points for that. That little kid schtick was shit though. And Jake is a boring piece of toast who's way too dramatic & needs to keep it together. Him & tom's romance is...barely on the stove cooking. Plus, as a black man who's been exposed to more queer black/poc romance in the last few years, I'm a bit exhausted by queer white gays in romance fiction. I think I'm allowed to say that. I don't hate them in media overall, but Jake & Tom are barely cooking here.

And the final tier. Will almost had my sympathy (being a black guy & all) but man...he was just kinda dry & got fucked over by Fiore (hated that.)

And fuck Derek. Hope he'll get better over time but I don't like him as much so far.

Anywayyyy those are my thoughts thus far. Plz avoid spoilers as i rewatch mmmmk. I'll reblog my thoughts & updated tier list about the rest of S1 sometime tomorrow.

#disventure camp #Emerald Watch Party

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ultfreakme · 4 months ago

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ok ok your posts about the superfam and DC are making me interested in the franchises. what would you recommend me to do in case i want to get more into it??

OH MY GOD YAY!!!! I am feeling so nervous compiling a list. I am mostly into Superfam so my recommendations will be around that. Comics are a bit of a tricky medium to get into because stories have been written for them since like, the 1940s, but there are new characters who help ease into the DC universe. It helps to read runs(usually what you call one comic book serialization)based on characters rather than titles because your fave may show up in random other places.

I'll give my journey with comics and how I got to know these characters

For superfam, starting with Jon Kent & Jay Nakamura! They're the ones I'm always posting about

Superman: Lois & Clark by Dan Jurgens and Lee Weeks: backstory with Jon as a kid with Lois and Clark, if you want to know more about Lois & Clark and how Jon was raised, this one is good.

Superman (2016) by Tomasi and Gleason: Further backstory on Jon's life with Lois & Clark as a child, it's a mediocre story with a bunch of american right-wing propaganda but the Jon stories are important build up for what comes next

The Man of Steel (2018) by Bendis Issue 6: Yes, JUST issue 6.

Superman (2018) by Bendis Issue 7-10: Continuation from Man of Steel and covers what many refer to as "the jon kent age-up". This is gonna be a bit of a tedious read because the writer for this sucks at his job. But this is unfortunately essential to understanding how Jon gets to where he is.

Superman: Son of Kal-El by Tom Taylor: If you want to jump right into Jon's time as Superman and see his blooming relationship with Jay, this is the go-to. This was my first DC comic and acts really well as an introduction for new readers

Action Comics (2016): #1050 (a big thing happens wrt to Jay and Jon)

Adventures of Superman: Jon Kent by Tom Taylor: Direct sequel to SOKE

Steelworks (2023) by Michael Dorn: Has a bunch of Jay cameos

Titans Beast World Metropolis Tour (2023): An important Jon thing happens with Nia here.

Action Comics (2016): #1060 : it's a follow-up from Metropolis Tour and is in a back-up story(basically what they call a side story- you'll have to scroll down a lot to see the Jon parts of it) 10. 1. Suicide Squad: Dream Team: Neither Jay nor Jay appear here BUT it is CRUCIAL to understand the context of this story- the main character in this- Dreamer- is a friend of Jay & Jon and she does something that betrays them . You'll figure it out while you're reading the rest

Absolute Power: Ground Zero #1 (2024)- Jay-centric

If you want a more comprehensive list for Jon, @bobbinalong has made a reading list for him and it's in the blog's pinned post.

Next up is Clark Kent:

Just as an introduction I'd say:

Superman Smashes the Klan (2019) by Gene Luen Yang: It's not related to current continuity but it really endears everyone to Clark, explains what he is all about and establishes what Superman is.

Warworld Saga: It's really well-written and is part of current continuity

I've been posting often about a character called Dreamer, she is very important to the current stories with Jay and Jon, but she is also an amazing character on her own. Her introduction happens in Superman: Son of Kal El but she has her solo stories as well:

Bad Dream: A Dreamer Story (2024) by Nicole Maines: An origin story for Dreamer

If you want to catch up with the rest of Superfam and want a starting place:

Kong Kenan/Super-Man: The New Super-Man (2016) by Gene Luen Yang

Natasha Irons/Steel and Lana Lang: Superwoman (2016) by Phil Jimenez (Natasha shows up in Warworld a LOT), and Steelworks

Kara Danvers/Supergirl: Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow(2021) by Tom King

Lois Lane: Lois Lane (2019) by Greg Rucka

Not all of these are essential, characters appear in runs that I haven't specifically attached to a character as well. But if you want to catch up on my faves, these are the ones I'd recommend. As you read, you'll get to know more of the characters and you can naturally find those who interest you as well.

If you are confused, you can always ask me again, and there's a bunch of my moots who are super eager to help anyone new get into the stories and I could ask them too, or you can get in touch with them!

Happy reading!

#riki asks #jon kent #jay nakamura #nia nal #superfam #superfamily #dc #dc comics #dcu

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thebestoftragedy · 5 months ago

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what are some books you liked and disliked so far this year?

So I read a lot (so far this year: 123 books finished, mostly novels), so I have a lot of books I liked and disliked. Let's call this my almost-mid-year year-in-books review. it's long. sorry (?)

5/5 star type books:

2666 by Roberto Bolaño - technically a reread (I read this for undergrad 10+ years ago). Really really good expansive weird dark book. A 'reading experience'. It's about knowledge and power and misogyny and history and academia and murder and death and what it means to have a legacy, and it's also pretty funny.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë - It's Jane Eyre! Not a reread but I was basically familiar with the plot due to basic cultural osmosis (I haven't seen any adaptations of it unless you count gifs on tumblr dot com). Good and fun. Romantic. All the haters are wrong.

4/5 stars, really good but maybe I had some reservations or it just didn't 'hit' the way I wanted:

Big Swiss by Jen Beagin - funny, weird, blah ending

The Talented Mr. Ripley by Patricia Highsmith - good but tbh I like the movie better

Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather - good!

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick - weird! fun.

Nightmare Alley by William Lindsay Gresham - fast fun gloomy

White Tears by Hari Kunzru - some awkward setup and bad pacing but a killer ending. stealth horror novel

The White Album/Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion - it's joan didion

The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers - quiet people leading lives of quiet desperation, etc.

Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui - I read the whole manga series, I loved the first few volumes, hated most of the rest of the series, and then felt neutrally towards the last one or two volumes.

Looking Glass War, A Small Town in Germany, and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy by John le Carré - slowly working through all of his books, so far they're all worth reading but I'm not sure I'd be able to 'rank' any particularly far or below the others

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett - some cringey stuff but a good fun weird sci fi/fantasy murder mystery. it's gonna be a series (maybe just a trilogy?) so I'll read the rest also.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon - killer killer first 60% and then the last 40% was like whatever.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace - so it took me until page, like, 250 to really get into this, which I can't really forgive. overall I think this is a very good book that mostly justifies its weird formatting/premises/characters, but I would say it does not change my vague impression of the author as someone who fundamentally lacks empathy with women. there are a few chapters of this book (where a 'chapter' can easily be novella-length) that I think are pretty unconscionable. but it's still well done, totally unique, and effective at what it sets out to do. oh also the author gets the DEFCON system wrong and that's a pet peeve of mine. so.

A lot of the Bad books I read were just mediocre romance type novels and not super worth breaking down.

Notably Disappointing/Bad Books, 2/5 stars (where I pretty much hate them or think there's almost nothing worth reading there, but I at least got Something positive out of the experience):

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - this is a terrible bad stupid book I would have been embarrassed to have written as a 15 year old. but it had a few individual funny scenes/lines so it wasn't totally miserable to read.

The Monster Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson - almost incomprehensible sequel to The Traitor Baru Cormorant, which I liked ok/thought was interesting but underbaked. I'll try the third book, but I'm bailing if it's not immediately interesting to me because this was a total slog.

In Memoriam by Alice Winn - I think this got that second star on the merits of basically one good blowjob joke. going in I thought this was going to be more of a serious literary novel and not what it is, which is basically yaoi for twentysomething women who are really into song of achilles or whatever.

Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata - I got absolutely nothing out of this. Sorry Women

Murder Road by Simone St. James - wouldn't have been notable except that I used to enjoy this author a lot (when she wrote historical mysteries) and haven't liked her contemporary/more modern stuff as much, and then this was a new low. dull clumsy boring novel.

The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley - this got a huuuuuuuge insane marketing push this year and I think has already been optioned for TV (this will be a recurring theme in this list). utter mess of a novel, combines secxually explicit self-insert RPF, wallowing about Being The Child Of An Immigrant, wallowing about Accidentally Doing Microaggressions Against A Coworker, wallowing in general, bad sci-fi, actually pretty good fish-out-of-water time travel comedy, and just general misery for me, personally, the reader. massive massive disappointment, actively makes me angry it was published. did I mention there's a scene of the narrator, who is very clearly the author, getting eaten out by this guy:

anyway. that happens.

A Short Stay in Hell by Steven L. Peck - a few tumblr mutuals loved this, I found the writing style distracting and inapt. it's supposed to be a cerebral type horror, but I couldn't get into it because the aw-shucks narrative voice keeps anything horrifying at a pretty far remove. also you could tell the author Really wanted to show off the Research he did, or like prove to you the reader how smart he is, and I dislike that sort of thing intensely when it's not pulled off well.

The 1 star zone, or: the abyss gazes also:

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas - this is a super-well-known, super-well-loved, often listed as one of the best-of-all-time romance novels, and I just fucking hated every second of it. awful characters, awful plot, I wanted everyone to explode in an iron foundry accident (this happened in a different novel by the author, which also sucked).

Penance by Eliza Clarke - it's a fake true crime novel, very heavily based on a real crime, and it just did not justify its existence in any way. I got Nothing out of it and enjoyed none of it and it had no redeeming qualities for me. moderately offensive for it to exist at all, which I could more or less forgive if it were very good, but it's not.

Disfigured: On Fairytales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc - bad tumblr posts pretending to be an academic type exploration of disability in fairytales, except you can tell the author has only read like 2 essays on the subject (because she only every references 2 other writers) and then watched some disney movies (but not even all of them). really lazy, bad-faith, deeply anti-intellectual. I spent my entire time reading this sending angry messages to @ilovemymutedcalico8487 about how wrong it is and how much it sucks.

My Darling Dreadful Thing by Johanna van Veen - I broke my rule and read a book with the word 'sapphic' in the goodreads description. really inept gothic, really clumsy 2014 tumblr SJW stuff wedged into a story that takes place in midcentury the netherlands, just bad.

Margo's Got Money Trouble by Rufi Thorpe whose name I will NOT mistype as Rupi Kaur even though she might as fucking well be - absolute garbage shit idiot trash for garbage shit idiots. actively loathsome and evil book. soon to be adapted as a tv series starring (and I'm refusing to google to double check this, so I could be completely misremembering, but this this does not deserve care or accuracy) elle fanning and nicole kidman. just don't.

congrats on reading. as a reward, you should go read a book that's good.

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gloriousburden · 1 year ago

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Ok not to talk about that series, but i just gotta say that i can’t help but be… i don’t know, i guess grateful? that marvel decided to let this mischaracterization happen to the variant™️ instead of to our loki. (since we all know that it would happen eventually because they don’t care about his character or anything he’s been through. hence his characterization in ragnarok too.) but i do mourn what our loki could’ve been everyday. and how much he deserved a solo project or even just another thor movie that would’ve dived into LITERALLY ANYTHING about him. there was so much potential, but instead they killed him off because they needed someone to open up the doors to the multiverse or literally whatever tf.

the series could’ve been about literally anyone. that’s just how non loki centered it is despite it literally being called LOKI. i hate that they’re trying to push this variant as the “new loki”, and that our loki is “irrelevant” and “flawed” now when he literally was perfect before he was killed off (and before ragnarok.) if this was what new “loki” content would consist of, they should’ve just let him go since clearly no one at marvel understands anything about him anymore.

(oh and not to mention that they originally wanted to kill loki off in the dark world, which actually explains a lot.)

also this is sort of unrelated to the original rant but i just gotta say that i really and truly wish that lokius/mobius fans would stop acting as if they’re so much more morally superior than sylki/sylvie fans. neither of them actually understand loki or care about him, and they both need to stop claiming that they are loki fans. because in reality, they’re just fans of the variant and who they can ship him with. if they actually understood loki, they would dislike the series as much as the rest of us do. it’s written by people who don’t get anything about loki besides…

“haha he’s thor’s younger brother who’s jealous and so evil… he commits evil acts JUST for the fun of it and without any true reasoning. oh and he’s such a narcissist guys… it’s not like he’s been trying to prove himself (mind you this is something an actual narcissist wouldn’t feel they have to do btw. but since the writers couldn’t see through the Very Obvious facade that loki puts up in response to the way he’s been ignored, belittled, neglected, etc… they think he’s a narcissist.) to not only odin, but to everyone else around him in the first two movies he was in. and since he’s privileged, it must mean he can’t have any kind of struggles and is overreacting. yass put him in a time loop where he continuously gets physically assaulted 😍 that’ll show him for sure.”

and then sylki/sylvie fans, and lokius/mobius fans will ignore how bad this writing is, just because loki was dumbed down enough to be shipped with their mediocre ass characters. if you can ignore the VERY OBVIOUS mischaracterization of loki’s character, then you are not a loki fan. you’re just a fan of the series and the characters in it. both lokius and sylki shippers are Um… not that great to put it kindly, but lokius shippers specifically have this weird superiority complex over sylki shippers/sylvie fans in general even though they ALSO don’t really know one thing about loki’s character outside of the mischaracterization from the series, and from fanon.

anyway putting this gif here because it’s cute and one of my faves ^_^

#loki #anti loki series #anti lokius #anti mobius #anti sylki #anti sylvie #loki meta #loki series criticism #anti ragnarok #ragnarok critism #loki series negativity #loki deserves better #mcu loki #anti loki show #loki show critical #loki show criticism #loki series critical #loki 💭#2011 2013 loki supremacy

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9800sblog · 1 year ago

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it can be a change of mind tho maybe he doesn’t want to share anything at current time i don’t know. but i wanted to ask if you could ask him how he feels these days? if he replies, is there a change of mind or he just being himself and wants to stay private? nothing serious, or is changed? just a check on his current situation. him being totally private kinda worried me. because i feel like san is a very strong soul spiritually as well. -mel

san tarot reading

energy check-in

do I have his energy permission to do and share this reading? the star

san reinforced that I have to reassure fans that nothing is too bad, there's no need for desperation or heartbreak, he's a regular guy and he knows it's scary to see trouble and not know what to do, but he is really ok. (3 of swords, knight of wands reversed, ace of wands, king of cups)

hi mel 👋👋 love seeing you around, I've been well! sorry for the delay, it just didn't feel right before.

like me and other readers have noticed, ateez are just tired and don't have much time to think about their troubles, which makes them last longer than need be. I feel like we often feel closed off to their energies, because they like/need to use all their alone time to really renew and do a bit of soul searching. I think currently there is nothing for fans to really worry about with members.

mind/feelings

4 of cups, judgement, 3 of wands reversed

me and other readers have seen similar things in all/most ateez members for a few months now, their present time is just not what they expected, planned or hoped for as teenagers (when they started). I think this is a common thing, it doesn't seem like something to intensely worry about, it seems like usual young adult crisis, like most of us are having (same feelings and thoughts, just a different reality). I know he doesn't have a religion but he may be relying a lot on some sort of spiritual thing, may even be someone who is spiritual. san is very introspective, trying to figure out who he is, what he does and doesn't like, what fits into his life, but it's difficult because he's still so young, his life is planned out for him, he feels like he doesn't have much control of his own choices and personality. ateez are naturally introspective and soulful people but they don't have much restful or alone time to really pick their brains, it's like procrastinating healing and soul searching that we all go through at their ages. he has suffered big disappointment and is trying to grow from it, but he has no option but to stay grounded and stuck in a mediocre reality. like mingi has said, he's looking for small happiness in daily life, to not think "I'll be happy once I have this". ateez is in a limbo state currently, they're not small or beginner celebrities but they're also not big or experienced enough to control their own careers/lives. it's a weird stage but he's taking his time with it, san is very smart and he's got people that understand him by his side, helping him, "saving" him. he's learning how everything and everyone is interconnected, how small details and choices can have a lot of power, learning when to accept and offer help, etc etc.

body/physical reality

10 of pentacles reversed, queen of pentacles reversed, 2 of cups reversed

his work responsibilities are fucking him up. queen of pentacles always make me think of fandom, and in reversed makes me of fanatics, manipulators, stalkers, etc. he's really really busy, not seeing his family who he loves deeply (his little cat 😭). san has been procrastinating his need for big changes, he may be instantly overwhelmed with the idea and since he has no time to think deeply, he just ignores it. he needs a break from work and selfish "supporters", be physically closer to those he is emotionally close to (like even his members seem to have little time together). he's living a money obsessed lifestyle when he is just a family guy.. he may be in autopilot mode a lot when in front of camera and not know how to turn it off when he gets home. his body may feel constantly tired and have muscle pain, maybe stomach/digestive issues as the cards suggest.

spirit/energy

the hermit, knight of swords, page of pentacles reversed

lightest part of the reading, san has a strong, powerful, incredibly smart and thoughtful spirit. san is currently feeling amazingly grateful for the success he has found early in his career, he's thankful to his members and staff for making this process easier and the goal achievable. he's grateful to himself specially for trying so hard, going after what he wants and not being afraid to dive deep into his soul when he needs. his soul is earning for change and action in his immediate life, earning for rebellion, a cause for riot. deep down, he knows other members would go with him to war (no soldier fights on their own), but his mind is a little slow and is still trying to figure out the best plan.

bottom of the deck

10 of cups

he's fine, he is so more than ok, there is nothing to worry about, at the end of the day, san is always deeply happy and grateful. not in a toxic positivity type of way, he's just got a good family, he's picked good friends, he lives in a good house, he's excited for his future and he sees a really bright one ahead of him. he's able to see the good in every situation and grow from things that sting him. oh he's so ok, I feel like, even if there's shocking news or something, he'd be like "hey! this just wasn't the ideal situation for me so I changed it, it's not a problem, I got this!". also, he looks like this emoji: 😼

#ateez tarot #ateez #san #choi san

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uchihakeimei · 6 months ago

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Helloooo, hope it's ok if I reply here! Also I forgot to apologize in advance for my terrible English, hope it's understandable!

What a relief to find someone who actually understands Kaiser! He's one of my absolute favs together with Rin and Isagi, but I never really spoke much about him since I noticed the fandom has a bad habit of misinterpreting him. AND Kaisagi in general. No, Isagi is not his soft-uwu toyboy, he's a badass, a menace and if anything, it's him that would put Kaiser in his place. And yes, they totally hate each other. Like, super hate. And that borderlines on obsession from Kaiser's part. (Ngl, that's my favorite part in all Isagi's ships, how he's unbothered, moisturized, living his best life, and the counterpart is decaying in their obsession in beating him. God, he's such an icon.) Their mutual disdain is what makes the ship so balanced, and also the reason why I dislike Kainess, I don't really appreciate the power imbalance and how submissive Ness acts around him. He deserves better than that. Oh, how I would love to see him leave Kaiser in the dirt to fight alone: that would be such a great character development for both of them. Ofc I'm not judging anyone who ships Kainess, it's a perfectly valid ship! I just love both Kiis and Rnis cause they check all of the boxes of the chemicals in my brain. And when the Kaiser flashbacks drops? I'm gonna go absolutely crazy. I need to be the worm in his brain and understand him in a much deeper way than Kaneshiro ever could.

(Also, I love your headcanon about their alternative jobs. I tried to come up with something for Rin too, and I concluded that he definitely could only ever work in front of a computer, where he would never have to interact with people - and traumatize them with his weird bullshit, lmao). (Oh, and Kaiser would be an even worse boyfriend than Rin, let's be real. One small argument and he's dumping your ass to ""find himself"" like any mediocre fuckboy).

Yes, despite my BLLK obsession I'm keeping up with other mangas! I've been reading One Piece since I was a child, but lately I got invested in Chainsaw man, Choujin X, Kagurabachi, Bungou stray dogs and My hero academia, too. What about you??

Of course, it's totally okay!!

And hello fellow Kaiser fan, great to meetcha!!

And yes. A lot of people mischaracterise Kaiser- either as an Isagi simp (most common in fanfictions) or a complete asshole with no depth.

KaiSagi characterisation tends to be even worse (which, this is NOT me criticising authors at all, people are entitled to write what they enjoy!), but either Kaiser or Isagi gets reduced to a desperate simp trying to get into each other's pants (mostly I have seen this with Kaiser, actually) and that's not very likely.

The charm of KaiSagi is their mutual hate, and the ways they overcome that!

And yes. You hit the nail right on the head! Such unbalanced ships, like KaiNess (SasuSaku or NaruHina from Naruto) are the one kind of ships I can never get behind. Whether it's love or hate, it needs to be mutual for me to enjoy it. Power unbalance is not my thing but different strokes for different folks and all that

And yes, Kaiser currently obsessed with destroying Isagi while all Isagi wants to be is no 1 is a delicious flavour and Kaneshiro is cooking

I need an explanation. Of everything regarding Kaiser. That flashback needs to be longest flashback in the manga. I want a biography I can write a thesis on.

(True!! He definitely isn't a people person. He will most likely be doing a job that requires minimum human contact lol)

(And yeah, Kaiser is such red flag, we'd need rose colored glasses to date him 😝)

Hehe. Fellow CSM fan!! My fav is Denji, and I am eagerly awaiting Season 2!

And although I haven't seen the rest of them, I have they are very good anime as well!

My absolute favourite would be Naruto, as I have been in that fandom for years as well. Apart from that, I am currently keeping up with Solo Leveling and Windbreaker!

(Although listing all the animes I have watched will require a separate post, I watch a lot of them!)

Ps: Your English was lovely, no worries!!

#bllk #isagi yoichi #michael kaiser #blue lock #bluelock #kaisagi #kiis #blue lock manga #kaiser blue lock

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blueberry-beanie · 20 days ago

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Glass Animals at Max-Schmeling-Halle in Berlin | 20th October 2024

Berlin showed itself from its most "welcoming" side again - but it couldn't stop the concert magic from happening!

I hate Berlin. Berlin hates me, too [insert EE-song here]. But honestly, this concert was worth the hassle. I was already on my way to the train station at 8am when I realised I won't catch the train. So I hat to take the 10:30am train. Alright. Sitting on the floor in the train again, the usual procedure. In Berlin my go-to restaurant greeted me with no soap in the bathroom and mediocre food. Then I of course got lost on my way to Max-Schmeling-Halle.

Queuing with awesome fans

Once I arrived the bad luck took a break, because I met some lovely fans who have been queueing for hours already. I didn't manage to catch all names, though. One was from India, the other from Italy and one from Slovakia. The others were from Germany, including Moona, a girl in lovely mint-green sweater and skirt, with a red heart necklace, a whole bunch of buttons, alien-earrings and pineapples pinned to her blouse. She gave out self-made buttons to everyone.

The queueing-experience was much better than last time. I got number 24 (like the advent calendar yay!) and we just had a good time. Some people were painting on luminescent make-up, someone gave out silver stars to decorate your face with. It was lovely. Moona was excited because it was her first concert. We all agreed to stand next to each other at the concert and have a good time.

The security at the entrance was honestly really nice and they did their jobs well, so all of that went smoothly. The venue itself is kinda ugly, in my opinion, and they turned on the music so loud that we all couldn't talk to each other at all anymore. I got the place I didn't want: First row, right in the dead center. It's a bit awkward for photos, but I would soon find out why that would be the least of my problems. Also Moona stood on my right side, so that was really nice!

Attempts to ruin the mood

The Big Moon was their support act and they were honestly awesome. Rarely a support act got me thinking wow, I gotta check out their stuff. Unfortunately I couldn't enjoy the show. I thought that one girl behind me was not feeling well, because she had been supporting herself with one hand on the barrier for a while. I let her, because being second row is fucking exhausting. She then proceeded to just elbow her way into the first row between me and the girl on my left side (they did not know each other). I was like "what the fuck?" But you couldn't really talk it out because the support act was playing. In a short break I asked her if she was ok and she was like "yeah sure". I said it is kind of low of her to do stuff like that. She first pretended to not understand the problem, but two songs later disappeared into the 3rd row.

I was determined to not let this ruin my mood, but I was not prepared to what happened once the concert truly started. Lo and behold - a second girl appeared from nowhere - and wanted to pull the same move. This time I was less willing to have discussions. I asked her right away: "Hey, are you feeling ok?" She said yes, just resting. Alright, I thought, and gave her no more space than for one hand. She tried at some point to wedge herself in, but it didn't work, because Moona and I were busy dancing and jumping and enjoying ourselves.

That is, after I had YET ANOTHER person trying to ruin the mood. Now this one was a very special. He was the security guy in front of us, and I think he thought of a seperate job description for himself. A girl telling him before the concert she isn't feeling too well and asking if he maybe had water for her? Nah. People wildly throwing themselves around a bit later? Not his problem. Someone has a tiny point-and-shoot-camera? How dare they! The rules of the venue do not apply tonight - as soon as something wasn't a phone (even if it is an old pastel-pink grandma camera) he immediately became active. He even spotted them in 3rd row. And of course he spotted mine. He even wanted to literally smack my hand. I argued with him for a short time (which is hard when the fucking concert is literally happening rn), but decided there is no arguing with idiots. The venue allows cameras, by the way, just not professional equipment, as literally any other venue. Later I saw him pulling the same moves with other people. So I only have a few shitty phone pictures to share, no prism-magic, no close-ups.

Wavey Davey on Fire

Fuck all of this, Wavey Davey was on fire, and so were we! Glass Animals are surely a bunch of guys who know how to party. Dave has an amazing stage presence, you feel very connected with him right away. So it wasn't difficult to let go of all the bullshit. Moona and I were dancing and doing synced arm movements and overall we just had a great time. Moona was a bit overwhelmed from finally seeing her heroes up close and started crying at some point, so I attempted to comfort her a bit and gave her a napkin as well. She was really sweet in general, even awarded me a pineapple-pin like a medal.

Glass Animals again brought a really cool stage set up with them. Last time it was the swimming pool, this time a whole spaceship! It was rumbling and glowing and there was a ton of fog. The pineapple was placed like royalty on some rocks to our right. In the background several monitors were blinking. In the middle a huge glass-sphere displayed animations. During Lost in the Ocean Dave even ascended into the night sky on a tiny platform. It was fucking awesome. I got to admit, I haven't listened to their new album that much, but the show was amazing nevertheless. So much energy, the sound was amazing, Dave has an awesome voice, too. Ed and Drew came over sometimes, too.

Moona didn't get to give her buttons to Dave, but he did look at us, pointed and winked. He complimented the us all a lot and for Gooey he went to the back of the venue to sing in the middle of the crowd. That was really cool. I don't think the crowd's energy matched the one in 2022 even remotely, though. That time everyone was fucking insane, yelling each song's lyrics and screaming like no tomorrow. It was as if the show started where others end, where everyone is euphoric, but it just kept getting more insane. This time the crowd was alright, just nowhere near that level.

For the last song, I decided to keep up the tradition and let someone else stand in my spot for a while. At the last Glass Animals concert a girl behind me was so happy to experience that and I honestly don't mind. So I turned around and gestured to the girl behind me, who has been enjoying herself totally calmly and not bothering anyone the whole concert. She happily obliged and stood on my spot. Not fast enough. Suddenly that other girl from the left, who has been trying to push me away for a good portion of the time wedged herself in there like a bolt of lightning. I got really angry, like, how obnoxious should you be to do stuff like that? I took her by the shoulders and firmly said "no". She immediately started arguing "you don't own this spot". Tough luck girl, maybe just come a bit earlier to get your desired spot instead of just... having no manners? She then honestly proceeded to press the other girl to let her in instead. The girl, very confused by all of this, obviously said no. I don't know what to tell you, she anyway proceeded with her antics, even hugged that other girl from behind (they did not know each other!) and tried to smuggle herself in there. She was not drunk, btw. That was her sober self.

The concert ended, we were immediately rushed out. But not before meeting pineapple-girl - the girl who got awarded the magnificent pineapple by Dave. And - it was the same one like 2022! I recognised her and she is lovely, we took a pineapple photo all together in a group and everyone congratulated her with her pineapple-luck.

At the merch stand Moona got herself a shirt and some accessoires, but there was no CD for me (or vinyl, for that matter). We went to the station and parted with a hug. It was so lovely to dance and sing together, that honestly saved this weird concert for me.

How to not go to Berlin Südkreuz or The yellow paper

Even in my hostel I lucked out and had a very strange roommate, who put her alarm on 4 am for no reason (and went out of the door and forgot to turn it off, so I had to turn it off) and then proceeded to rummage around until 8am and still not leave? Very strange. I thought she was going to catch an early train/flight, but nope. Whatever, I had things to do.

I was on a mission to find the yellow paper™️ for my stupid plans regarding the goddamn satirist whom I'm probably not going to see this year if things continue like that. So the yellow paper is sth that you can get for a few cents in the US, I guess, but here in Germany I found out it is surprisingly hard to find (if you don't want to pay absolutely insane prices for it).

In Berlin, however, a huge art and stationary supplies shop exists and they have these yellow pads. So I went there and got to experience the wonder of the biggest art and crafts shop I've ever seen. They have seemingly everything for every purpose imaginable, even their own printing and gilding workshops. They had Japanese handprinted papers, all sorts of paints, brushes, glues, fabrics, anything you can think of. And, of course, the yellow pads. I walked out of there with my treasure and knew I just missed my train back, because it only leaves every 2 hours. Fine, I thought, and developed a plan to go to used book shops.

I found two of them nearby, but didn't actually buy anything. Half an hour before my train was supposed to leave I went to the nearest station, only to discover there was a malfunction on the train tracks - and the only trains going to Berlin Südkreuz, where my train was supposed to leave from, were delayed. I somehow still got there in time, to discover the train home was also delayed by quite a bit. Ok, I thought, let's get something to drink because I haven't had a single drop today and that's not healthy. The moment I stepped on the train platform I saw my train leaving - five minutes earlier than announced. Now that's a first: Deutsche Bahn leaving earlier.

Food lady to the rescue

At that point I wanted to cry or scream or panic. I didn't do any of that but instead took a bus to yet another book shop nearby, this time an Oxfam shop. On my way I passed by a vegan Cigköfte-place and decided to try and get some food. Now, with my luck, that very day the banks were on strike and you couldn't get any cash. So I had only five Euros on me, and of course that place didn't take cards. The owner, however, was a very sweet woman. She greeted me like a mum ("Are you hungry, too, dear?") and immediately advised me what I could eat for my money, prepared something delicious I don't even know the name of and overall saved the day.

With some good food in my stomach, I entered the book shop and immediately found a whole bunch of books. So many great finds, I couldn't buy all of them. However, I bought four for the price of one new book, even got back to Südkreuz in time AND didn't have to sit on the floor for once. I started reading a book called "Mindfuck" about the Cambridge Analytica scandal and that is honestly a shocking, intriguing story. I had wanted to read it for a long time, but I couldn't afford buying it as a new book.

The train was delayed, but I still got home on time, even met my flatmate on my way to the supermarket and got to see a beautiful sunset. Home sweet home. My roommate was lovely, she had been to Frankfurt book fair and brought me several newspapers and two huge (!) books from Correctiv she got for free! Now I have so many great books to read and fond memories to remember.

Berlin, I think I will have to visit again. Can we please work out a truce? We can be friends, I'm sure. Til the next time!

#glass animals berlin #my concerts #a very long read #once i go to berlin chaos happens

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ethernetmeep · 1 month ago

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10/7: walked past valannie, shoulders almost touch. distance important. i am scared yet i persist. important. i repeat the word “important” because it is all i know to say. i have people i sit with, names for later date. privacy is owed. decent. would call acquaintances, not friends. 2-3 person exception. talk with person about modern art & sonic & various. we walked together two times. it is nice to not feel weird for commonplace things. i am still going to be different. a bit calmer. “when it’s right, you don’t think about it that hard.”* still do think, though. nervous about some variables. nevertheless, continuing. must continue. cannot revert, therapist says. isolation in long spurts seems to be bad for me. volunteering at animal shelter, or attempting. submitted form, finally. busy. i make time to write because i simply must. going on for conversations, maybe will ask plans for halloween. don’t like being sudden. ease. better than last year. always better.

week until. not important, but observation. 11th is 6 months. 14th is different thing. celebrations are mediocre, but like them. not really a celebration if its internal, anyway. notes: overpass before break. art museums far off during break, none close. i have the rest of the year for that. science project. painting lockers. finish asimov on numbers. ponder internship in summer. 12:54. raining. time to go

words i wrote in my notebook. did rain heavily today. allowed myself the 1 (one) neutral milk hotel song of the day. king of carrot flowers pt 1 walking home in the rain. familiar. i am able to let myself feel that familiarity in the moment & move on once i step through my door. i allow myself occasional times where i connect to a lost or old feeling, to respect what it once was. right now when i say this i think of my old friend S & in itself this too is the one occasional time i allow myself to think about her in a month or two. hope shes well

funny, while also rambling i should discuss my bounce back behavior. if i say a compliment & its not heard, i say “ok” & i move on. if i trip i say “ok”, get up, & move on. almost tripped today & said this. if i spend time wallowing i will never tell anyone anything again, which i simply cannot do. people need to be told things & mistakes are natural. being ashamed just makes this harder, so by accepting & moving on i sort of just.. exist with less of it.

i think thats all i had to say that i know how to say & is mundane.

*forgot to add— quote by conan gray.

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jovialtorchlight · 8 months ago

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DUFFLEBAG--A PLAY IN ONE ACT

DUFFLEBAG

A play in one act by Jonny Bolduc

CONTENT WARNING: This play contains a depiction of suicide, as well as gunshots, murder, and implied violence against children.

CHARACTERS:

ALEX: A washed up journalist.

AJ: Demon incarnate.

DETECTIVE: Trying to piece the case together.

BETHANY: Alex’s sister.

WOMAN/WAITRESS

SCENE 1

LIGHTS come up on an empty newsroom. ALEX, an overweight middle aged man, hangs his coat up on the back of a rolling chair in front of a computer. SOUNDFX: A police scanner sputtering out a traffic stop.

ALEX:

Anyone home? Chuckles. Of course not. ALEX notices a manila envelope on his keyboard. As he sits down and boots up his computer. Wonder if those are the Seadog tickets I put my name in for yesterday.

ALEX is about to open the envelope when the phone rings. As ALEX answers, the lights fade on him and come up on the EDITOR and DETECTIVE sitting at a table downstage.

DETECTIVE:

Are there any cameras in the newsroom? Security cameras?

EDITOR:

Yeah.

DETECTIVE:

If I got a warrant to look at the footage, it would all be there, right? Everything from Saturday, March 16? No mysterious gaps?

EDITOR:

Look. I can’t speak for Alex. At this point, if he fucked with the footage, it wouldn’t suprise me. I thought…I thought I knew him. As well as anyone knew him…I never thought he would..

DETECTIVE:

Alright. As far as you know, on Saturday, what time did he get into the newsroom?

EDITOR:

3:30 p.m.

DETECTIVE:

Was anyone in the newsroom?

EDITOR:

No. He worked the skeleton hour, the time between the morning and night shift. When I first started at the journal, the cop beat came in in the morning. But staffing cuts--

DETECTIVE:

I don’t need a history lesson. I just need to know why Alex did it.

LIGHTS down on EDITOR and DETECTIVE. Lights up on Alex, speaking on the phone, typing on his computer and eating tortilla chips and salsa.

ALEX:

Thanks for talking to me on the weekend, Chief Perry. Do you know the condition of the nine year old injured in the crash? Critical? Ok, thank you. A huge glob of salsa falls onto his shirt.

Any other information? I understand. I’ll wait for the press release. Have a good weekend. Hangs up. Looks at salsa on his shirt. Shit. Raises salsa glob to his mouth and licks it clean.

Good enough. On his computer, ALEX reads aloud as he types.

“Dear Mark,

Regretfully, I am writing this letter to inform you that my last day of employment with the Twin Town Journal will on April 1st.

This dimly lit basement office, stale, moldy. Sometimes, I feel like I exist inside a slowly rotting carcass. It’s time for me to live. ”

No. I can’t.

ALEX aggressively hits the delete button. ALEX eyes the unopened manila envelope. He opens it.

Lights down on ALEX, back up on the DETECTIVE and EDITOR.

DETECTIVE:

Where did Alex sit?

EDITOR:

Alex’s desk was in the back corner of the newsroom.

DETECTIVE:

Why was he in the corner?

EDITOR:

Well, he earned it. It’s a hierarchy thing. New reporters were stationed at the front next to the copydesk, mainly so they couldn’t just Facebook all shift, look at cat pictures or pretend like they were answering emails.

DETECTIVE:

So he was a good employee?

EDITOR:

At one point. He won us seven Press Association awards, that he kept framed, and lined up on his desk, reminding us of his best work. 2012, an unreplicated year. The rest of the years were bad, full of mistakes and errors and mediocrity. But those seven awards kept him in the newsroom.

DETECTIVE:

Was there ever any problems with his behavior? Anything concerning?

EDITOR:

Every couple years he would be out for a few weeks for an unspecified “emergency.” I learned after the second one that he was admitted to the psyche ward. I don’t know the details, but I summized that he had pretty serious breakdowns every so often. But he never brought that to work.

LIGHTS HALF DOWN on EDITOR and DETECTIVE, LIGHTS UP ON ALEX. ALEX is reading the letter that was in the envelope.

ALEX:

Fuck. Fuck. Oh god. FUCK. ALEX puts his head in his hands.

ALEX vomits into the trash can beside him.

LIGHTS UP on EDITOR AND DETECTIVE.

EDITOR:

When we searched his desk, we found the note he read underneath a pile of vomit and soda cans. Tell me if you can make any sense of it.

“A.J.. favor. River behind Bethany’s, Mechanic F., 2:30 a.m., Monday.”

EDITOR:

It’s closed now, but Bethany’s was an ice cream store in Mechanic Falls. As for the rest… who AJ is…I have no idea.

Back to ALEX.

ALEX:

I think I’m having a fucking heart attack. Fuck. AJ. That crazy goddamn bastard is back. Fuck. Fuck.

Back to EDITOR. As the EDITOR speaks, the upstage is cleared.

EDITOR:

Alex didn’t do much for the rest of the night. Around 9 p.m., he went out for a three vehicle crash, out on Goff Hill.

DETECTIVE:

Yeah. I pulled the report, pieced it together. When Alex got there, police had already shut the road off, so he parked at Denny’s, waved at the cop directing traffic. Officer Moltisanti knew Alex from other scenes, and said, and I quote, “I thought we were going to have to call an ambulance. He was breathing heavy, like a panting, St. Bernard and he looked really pale. But he walked up the hill. Took some pictures of the crash. Headed back down the hill. We pulled some surveillance photos of Denny’s; he came in at 10:00 p.m., ordered a black coffee, and took out his computer to write the story.

EDITOR:

He never came back to the office.

Lights back up on Alex, drinking coffee at a counter. A waitress is setting a plate of food next to him.

WAITRESS:

Rough night, Alex?

ALEX:

Laughs. Yeah, you could say that. It’s the kind of night that makes me wish I never stopped smoking cigarettes. Do you remember when you could smoke in Denny’s?

WAITRESS:

Yeah, hon, I do. I’m pretty ancient.

ALEX:

You’re not ancient. You still got life left in you, Betty. Me, not so much.

WAITRESS:

What do you mean?

ALEX:

Nothing. Nothing. Thank you for talking to me.

WAITRESS:

Are you alright, hon?

ALEX:

Yeah. I’m ok.

I just..when I was a kid, my dad smoked. His flannels, the garage, everything had the smokey smell…and shit, I loved it. Even when I was old enough to know that the smoke was killing him. Do you know what I mean? When the thing that’s killing you gives you comfort?

WAITRESS:

Are you sure you’re ok?

ALEX:

Yeah. Yeah, thanks, Betty.

WAITRESS exits. ALEX reads as he types.

Comfort. Where does it come from? At what expense? Comfort comes from booze, food, Lexapro. Fleeting interests, the, distractions, anything to to get himself one step ahead of the chest tightening, stomach twisting, breathless, empty attacks. But still, the strange dread creeps into me. An alarm malfunctioning, blaring empty signals into my head.

But it’s real, this time. If you’re reading this, I’m dead. This is goodbye.

ALEX pays his check and leaves.

BLACKOUT.

SCENE 2

Lights up on a dream. A WOMAN appears. ALEX is with her.

ALEX:

Exactly as I remember you. You smill like dirt. Not unpleasant, more like you had been gardening. Green jeans, white tank top, humid August night…

WOMAN:

I’m drunk, stumbling. Both of us were, honey. But you were walking straight. I could smell your breath, though. And when I looked into your eyes, trying to kiss you, you were half on earth, half somewhere else.

ALEX:

Don’t get into the passenger seat.

WOMAN:

I have to. This is how it happened.

ALEX:

Fuck. I can’t…I can’t keep losing you.

WOMAN:

Alex. Remember something, when you wake up.

ALEX:

Of course.

WOMAN:

It was your fault.

LIGHTS DOWN. In the blackout, ALEX runs to his bed. LIGHTS up. ALEX wakes up violently, in a panic.

He throws the sheets off, and stumbles into the bathroom offstage. SOUNDFX of some nasty bathroom business.

He emerges.

He is talking to his dog.

Maisey. Girl. I love you. But I got to go. I hate this. I really do.

Want to come up on the bed?

ALEX lays down on the bed. BLACKOUT.

LIGHTS UP. ALEX is passing his sister, BETHANY, a collar.

ALEX:

She eats Nature’s Pride. Exclusively.

BETHANY:

I know. I’ve dogsat for you before. How long are you going to be gone, again?

ALEX:

Three days. It was kind of last minute. I’m going up to Presque Isle for a job interview.

BETHANY:

You��re leaving Twin City?

ALEX:

Yeah. Maybe moving up north.

BETHANY:

Alex? I need to…ask you something.

ALEX:

Sure.

BETHANY:

Are you ok? You seem…not ok.

ALEX:

I’m fine.

BETHANY:

I don’t believe that. Come on. If something’s wrong, I can help you.

ALEX:

I swear to god, Beth, nothing’s wrong.

BETHANY:

Alex. I love you. You’re my brother. And we’ve been through hell. I know you well enough to know when you’re going through some shit. And look, after last year, you promised you would be honest. Please, be honest.

ALEX:

Beth. Nothing is wrong.

BETHANY:

You know what my worst fear is? What keeps me up at night? I get a call saying that you’re dead, that you killed yourself, that the worst day is here. I can’t picture life without you, Alex. So please. Come on. Tell me what’s wrong.

ALEX:

A heavy pause.

I…got a letter.

BETHANY:

What did it say?

ALEX:

It was..it was from…A credit card company. I’m getting sued for like 15,000 dollars. I might lose everything

. Lights down on ALEX and BETH.

Back up on DETECTIVE and BETH.

DETECTIVE:

Before we start, I’m sorry for your loss.

BETH:

Doesn’t answer.

So. You think it was him?

DETECTIVE:

Yeah. We do. Almost cert--

BETH:

It was A.J.

DETECTIVE:

A.J? A.J Gutenski?

BETH:

Yeah.

DETECTIVE:

Huh. Look, I shouldn’t tell you this, but Bethany. Forensic confirmed that Alex fired the bullet that killed AJ.

BETH:

No. No, you don’t understand. Whatever happened, that bastard was behind it. Alex didn’t even own a fucking gun.

DETECTIVE:

He bought one the night he died.

BETH:

What? Well, come on- iIt must have been self defense.

DETECTIVE:

Ok. Look, I understand you’re grieving--

BETH:

I know what you’re going to ask me about. When I last talked to him. Look, he lied to me. I had no idea AJ was back in town. But you have to understand. If he told me AJ was back in town, I would have personally escorted Alex to the gunstore. AJ was less of a person and more a fucking demon.

DETECTIVE:

Bethany. I know you’re upset, but AJ was a veteran. A former police officer. An upstanding-

BETH:

With all due respect, detective. He’s a sociopathic fuckhead. He killed my brother.

LIGHTS UP on Alex in his apartment. It is dark. He is looking in a mirror.

ALEX:

Look at this. A fucking disgusting piece of shit. Pale skin, gross, scaby graying beard, greasy ass hair, lumpy, overstuffed disgusting. I’m such a fucking piece of shit.

Pause.

AJ. That fucking bastard.

Alex screams, guttural, and punches the mirror, shattering it. He grunts in pain. He picks glass from his knuckles and wraps his hand in a bloody papertowel.

END SCENE.

SCENE 3:

Lights up on Bethany and Detective.

Detective:

We know that early in the morning, after Alex dropped off his dog-

BETHANY:

Maisy.

DETECTIVE:

Sure, yeah, Maisey--he drove Bethany’s Ice Cream. He parked in the back lot, down where there’s a steep bank that leads to the river underneath the railroad trestle. Why would he go to Bethany’s? Did he have some sort of connection to the place?

BETHANY:

We grew up in Mechanic Falls. We used to joke that I owned the place. Mechanic Falls wasn’t like…dead back then. When Alex was a boy, this small mill town still had a mill, and it still felt like a town. He’d walk from our massive Victorian home on Main Street to a three room school that served all 25 kids in town, he’d ride his bike down the trails to the brooks and he’d rip around on his dirt bikes, up and down Main Street.

The town was his. Ours. Which is why I think the fire effected him so much.

DETECTIVE:

The mill fire? 2018?

BETHANY:

Yeah. He wrote about it. I’d read it to you, but I still haven’t been given any of his belongings.

DETECTIVE:

They’re in evidence. Why do you think the fire effected him?

BETHANY:

We watched the town go up in flames.

DETECTIVE:

Just the mill. And no one was hurt.

BETHANY:

Yeah. But he worked his first job in that mill. I think he saw it like…the past was burning down. Like the fire was destroying every good memory he ever held.

DETECTIVE:

Huh. Ok.

So. Answer this.

When did your brother become a far right extremist?

BETHANY:

What? What the fuck are you talking about?

DETECTIVE:

We found a vile journal with all kinds of shit in it. He listed all the people he wanted to hurt. He was radicalized. For christ sake, he tried to--

BETHANY:

That wasn’t him. It was AJ. It had to be AJ.

LIGHTS DOWN.

LIGHTS UP on AJ. He is standing, hands in his pockets, shivering. He is down by the river; the sound of rushing water. The sound of tires screeching. AJ is here. Car door slams shut. AJ strides onstage. He is ex-military, clad in a green tank top and cargo pants. Cleancut.

AJ:

Look. The fat bastard’s waiting. Get in my belly. Bring it in bud.

AJ grasps ALEX in a unwilling bearhug. It’s too long, too tight. ALEX wiggles in protest. ALEX is checking for a wire. When AJ lets go, he pushed ALEX, and almost sends him scrambling back.

Thought I was going to get lost in all that blubber. It’s good to see you, friend.

ALEX:

It’s…uh..good to see you too, AJ. Where have you--

AJ:

Like a flipped switch. He’s violent. He grabs ALEX by the shoulders. None of your fucking buisness where I’ve been, you fat fuck. Why do you need to know? Are you a fucking narc? You don’t ask me shit. Knees ALEX in the groin. ALEX collapses on the ground, rolling. AJ makes as if he’s going to stomp AJ in the head, but lands on the ground beside him, howling in laughter.

I forgot how easy to are to fuck with, friend. Now, look. I got a favor to ask you, once you find your balls again. As ALEX gathers himself, AJ reaches into a bag beside him and pulls out a pair of fishing waders.

You’re going to go for a little swim. Throws the waders at ALEX.

ALEX:

What?

AJ:

Sure, it ain’t going to be warm. But, you know something? The Russians, those crazy bastards, cut holes in the ice and started swimming in the winter. It’s supposed to cleanse their bodies of toxins from vodka or something. Then, some rich Norwegian socialist fucks started doing it, and it spread over to the US, and now, there are, and I shit you not, people that jump in ice cold water for fun. Fucking crazy assholes.

Look, you’re going to do have to do some physical activity. You may have a heart attack. But look. It’s real shallow under the bridge. You’re going to wade out. The current shouldn’t be too bad. About halfway, your left foot is going to nudge a cinderblock. Lift it up. There’s going to be a chain. Dig a bit. There’s going to be a duffle bag tied to a rock. I don’t want my DNA on that bag. Laughs. Grab it, bring it over here.

At least I got you some waders. Gear up, Mr. Belvedere.

ALEX clumsly puts on the waders, and hobbles offstage. AJ sparks a cigarette, leans back, and watches. He yells OS to ALEX.

“Look! A fuckin’ whale in his natural habitat! Keep going tubby! Hariet fucking Tubbyman over here.”

After a pause, ALEX screams. Splashing.

ALEX:

From OS.

MY WADERS ARE FULL OF WATER--I’M--

AJ howls with laughter. He moves to the side of the stage and pulls a soaking wet, hacking, miserable ALEX to the center of the stage. He’s clutching a dufflebag. ALEX gets on all fours and starts hacking life a halfdrowned cat.

AJ:

You’re fucking fine, you goddamn pussy.

AJ slaps ALEX on the back, three times, hard, then kicks him hard in the side. ALEX wheezes, falls over on his side, clutching himself.

Let’s get this gear off you, soilder!

AJ yanks the waders off of ALEX, but purposefully removes his pants as well, leaving him in his underwear, huddled, shivering, half drowned, and bruised on the bank.

Alright, alright. It’s ok, baby.

AJ leans down next to ALEX to cuddle him, spooning him.

Big fat baby. You chunky son of a bitch. Get up. Get up. GET UP!

AJ leaps up, and pulls ALEX to his feet.

Open the fucking dufflebag.

AJ, trembling, gets down on all fours, again, and slowly unzips the dufflebag. He peers inside. The horror of what’s inside hits him after a pause. He screams.

BLACKOUT.

LIGHTS UP on DETECTIVE and BETH.

DETECTIVE:

Did anyone tell you how he died?

BETH:

My brother? I mean, I know he took his own life.

DETECTIVE:

A single gunshot wound to the head. A pretty obvious suicide.

I have a photo for you, Bethany.

BETH:

Are you fucking serious? I don’t want to see his head--

DETECTIVE:

No. Not of his head. Of what was in the dufflebag he pulled out of the river. You need to see it. You need to see it to really understand what we’re dealing with.

BETH:

Nods. DETECTIVE slides the photos to her. She opens the envelope, looks, and dry heaves.

Fuck.

DETECTIVE:

I know you think your brother had nothing to do with this, and I wish the facts supported that. But what we have, everything we have, points to him.

BETH:

Through tears.

Fuck.

LIGHTS back up on ALEX and AJ.

AJ:

Peers over the duffle bag, doesn’t touch it.

Ha. That’s her alright. Damn. She’s looking a little…waterlogged, isn’t she.

ALEX:

Through tears.

What the fuck did you do, AJ? What the fuck did you--

AJ:

Shut up. Here’s what’s you’re going to do. You’re going to get the fuck up. You’re going to pick up the bag, put it in your car. Your going to go to your apartment. I got some hydrocloric acid. We’re going to take care of this, and tomorrow, we’re going to make some people fucking pay. Get up. Get up.

ALEX:

She was fucking innocent, AJ. She was a…a…

Gets up, stands over the duffle bag for a moment. In one motion, ALEX suckerpunches AJ hard, in the head, and AJ crumples. ALEX grabs the dufflebag, and as AJ comes alive, ALEX scrambles up the bank.

AJ:

Time for a fuckin’ hog chase! Squeal squeal, you fuck! Squeal squeal!

BLACKOUT. END SCENE

SCENE 4

ALEX is in his car, death gripping the steering wheel. The soggy dufflebag is beside him. His phone rings. He answers.

ALEX:

Hello, AJ.

AJ:

Where the fuck you think you going, lardass?

ALEX:

The police.

AJ:

Why the fuck would you do something like that?

ALEX:

Because the decomposed head of your child is in a duffle bag next to me.

AJ:

They’re going to think it was you.

ALEX:

So what? I’ll tell the truth. That’s all I can do.

AJ:

Huh. Well lookie here. I think I’m coming up behind you. Silver Subaru Impreza, 98142TW. Yup. That’s you. Here’s a little nudge, buddy.

AJ rams ALEX’s car from behind. ALEX tries to brace and steady himself. Sound FX of a car skidding. It’s not enough to go off the road.

I’ll be harder next time. And here’s a little sting.

Gunshot. A bullethole in the sidemirror.

Next time, I won’t miss.

ALEX:

Do you remember when we met, AJ?

AJ:

I sure do. I was an Oxford County Deputy. I rolled up on you, rolled over in a ditch. Your sweet--Jane, was it? Was dead. Head caved in from the door crunching around her temple. You were crying, drunk as hell. I recognized you from the paper. Took you into my cruiser, drove you home, put your drunk ass to bed, saved you from being arrested for manslaughter. Told them it was just her in the car. I saved you, you fuck. You owe me.

ALEX:

I didn’t ask you to save me, AJ. You know, when I dream about her, she tells me..it was my fault.

AJ:

That sucks. It’s true. It was your fault.

ALEX:

Yeah. It was my fault.

This is the first time I’ve said that out loud. And it didn’t even kill me. AJ. I have a question. How many others are there? How many others have you…killed?

AJ:

Lost count.

ALEX:

Children?

AJ:

We all have our vices.

ALEX:

ALEX cranks the steering wheel. Screeching tire sound. BLACKOUT, just long enough for car to clear. ALEX is outside of the car, still in his underwear, holding a gun. Car door slams shut. AJ enters from the opposite side of the stage, and stops when he sees ALEX holding the gun.

AJ:

Well look at you. When you get the balls to buy a gun? I shouldn’t be too worked up. You’re too much of a puss--

ALEX:

Shoots AJ. AJ dies. ALEX takes AJ’s phone from his pocket. Puts the phone on speaker. Kneels stage center. Answering machine.

Beth. I’m…sorry. AJ’s dead. I wish… it didn’t happen like this. I wish I was better. Take care of Maisy. I love you. Goodbye.

GUNSHOT AS BLACKOUT.. END

#jonny bolduc #playwriting #short play #one act

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