#but it's kinda scary like imagine
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more silly god shenanigans from The Before Times; they are showing him the art of the scary face and he is trying very hard for them
#great god grove#ggg spoilers#ggg inspekta#ggg cobigail#ggg click clack#inspekta#click clack#cobigail#also was amusing myself imagining like#after the whole drama of the game cobigail goes#“yknow hector you fucked up big time”#“but your big scary worm mode was kinda baller ngl”
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WHERE'D YOU ALL COME FROM Σ┗(@ロ@;)┛
Hello :333333333
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AHHHHSBABABAJANAJAJAJA????!?!
THANK YOU GUYS SM !! ✧*。٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*。
Honestly it means the absolute WORLD to me that I even gained a following on here and I love and appreciate you all so sooo much 🧡🧡
I started this account when I was very sick, in and out of hospitals with various health problems (which needed surgeries to correct), resulting in me being bed bound for a while.
Hazbin came out around the same time as when I fell ill, and I ADORED the pilot back in 2019, sooo it was a little spark of joy for me in the darkness that was life ┓(;´_`)┏
As for the writing part, I used to write a bunch of stuff in my notes for the various fandoms I was in but was always too scared to post them.
Idk what happened but I got a burst of confidence and made this account (๑·̀ㅁ·́๑)✧
Fun fact actually I was drugged up on pain meds when I made a lot of my older posts 😭
#I lobeyou all#but it's kinda scary like imagine#uhm#being#in a room#with 711 PEOPLE???#RHATS A LOT OF POPEL!!!!3!2!2#popel#LMFAOJWJW#but you're all very loyal because I've posted everything ever at this point#💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚#\(★´-`)人(´▽`★)/
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finally. the chimera baby super form
due to her particularly strong chaos powers, mira can obtain a mini super form with less than 7 emeralds. depending upon the number of emeralds, her appearance and personality can change quite drastically. this is her with either five or six.
obligatory poll link
#aka that sonic persoanlity comes out but like 1000 times more irritating#like how super sonic has kind of a different personality from regular sonic. that’s kinda what I’m imagining here#she is infuuuuriating like this#chimera baby#sonadow fankid#sonic oc#if u cant tell her superform is highly inspired by hyper shadic from nazo unleashed (duh) and dr finitevus from the Archie comics lol#i wanna draw her other forms too…but this is the one i did a while ago and never shared#also for the record. i came up with the indidual emeralds giving certain powers thing BEFORE superstars was announced#so there’s something#chazart#eyestrain#sonadow#ooo main tag scary#look at her#insane overpowered super forms. know your roots sonic fans
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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Every time I remember that canon!Will Solace kinda sucks if you think about it for too long, I feel like crying. Idk. Like, what do you mean my beloved boy whom I love dearly actually kinda sucks, but the narrative ignores it and pretends like everything he does is Totally Fine??/hj
(Not saying all fanon!Will is great! He’s sometimes not.)
#im just not a big fan of canon!will ignoring what nicos said about his own limits. and just being overall unhelpful#like. sure. nico might have died if not for will but. also. will doesnt know much about nicos powers#he doesnt know much beyond that they look kinda cool and scary at this point in the story#he doesnt really have the right to make demands about nicos power (ever. but especially not then)#but in my head. i Elect To Ignore That and see will as someone who avoids medically treating his close friends & boyfriend when possible#and i imagine nico taking care of will just as much as will does nico#(eg: nico. pro napper. consistently reminding will to go to sleep before he crashes#or if wills busy. nico brings over some food when its lunch time because 100% will often forgets to eat when hes focusing on something hes-#interested in)#i just hate canon solangelo. idk#why cant rick just write a decent. healthy relationship???#will solace#will solace critical#anti will solace#solangelo#anti solangelo#nico di angelo#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#riordanverse#rr crit
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bard!riz is so important to me bc the kind of character he would be if the truth-fear balance tips all the way to fear esp. bc he takes so much pride in canon in the fact that his parents are brave badass people and he's following their footsteps. but also bc I have so much fun thinking abt bard!kipperlilly
#not art#she would suck SO much more it would own#sighs dreamily imagining influencer kipperlilly.... kinda love the idea that she's still like the ''frontman'' of her party#and so would still run for student body president#would be a full tossup with the bad kids for now tho. kristen's still a good candidate for the arc#bc (I did lock down sorcerer for her) something abt actively sharing her power that she kinda held onto as Hers rather than A God's#would be good for her. but also riz overcompensating esp. for a previous sophomore year and putting himself out there#esp. in a sense ''filling the seat bc someone else worse might“ and it burning him out#him coming up against Influencer Girl With 374927474837 Sponsors would be insane. he would hate it. he would also 100% do it#trying to think if any other bad kid would run.... fabian even after multiclassing would probs be like if you even Look at me. its on sight#fig does not subscribe to this power structure. adaine is allergic to sunlight and showing her face#gorgug.... he might be in. depends on how it goes for him in sophomore year#even proximity to that kinda popularity might still be scary to him but he Is great at conflict resolution#it would be fun if kipperlilly expectes to run up against someone playing her own game and instead got gorgug who is A Wall#ah...beautiful pictures in my mind.......
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Phoenix and Franziska as siblings is an interesting dynamic I need to seeeee
GOD you do not know how much i think of these two as siblings, thank you for being my excuse to talk about them!!
i think if phoenix were frans brother instead of edgeworth, he’d be alot more doting of her- look at how he is with his daughter, afterall. he moves into the von karma household when hes like 9 and she’s 2 years old. she was a Baby. a Baby who can talk in full sentences for some reason, but a baby nonetheless.
and he is So doting and caring, raising her in contrast to how von karma was raising her. we see that despite how franziska von karma she is even as a child in the anime, she is sweet and worried about miles’ wellbeing, so ive no doubt itd extend to phoenix if he and miles swapped places.
except, obviously mvk has some issues with whimsy and joy because, well he’s von karma. so he likely doesnt approve and actively berates phoenix for caring for fran, saying its weakness and she’ll grow up to be useless and a dishonour blabla. it gets fran in trouble too though, so i think as time goes on phoenix would start to act less openly affectionate and more cold, but still caring, despite showing it in his own,, convoluted way. as time goes on too, i think the constant beratement from mvk, the pressure of the von karma name and other things i cant say here lest it be spoilers to my own au starts to wear at phoenix’s wellbeing, and it takes a toll on his relationship with franziska as fran tries in all her eight year old might to bring back the boy who’d always smile at her.
anyway i think unlike how miles and fran are like a prince and princess and mvk is the king, i think phoenix and fran would have a princess and her first knight kind of relationship, to put their dynamic simply
#i have art!!! but its not coloured and lowkey kinda cringe but i can post it anyway since i do Not have the time to colour allat#like we see in beanix phoenix is adept in concealing his emotions and putting up a wall#i think that happens to him in the mvk household#imagine beanix but in the body of a young phoenix… scary#but yea i think phoenix is very doting but as time goes on he starts doing it in a weird convoluted way that fran eventually learns is his#way of showing affection but young fran didnt quite wrap her head around that so it brings Drama#im sorry if this reply was too long HAHA i just think theyre cute#asks#turnabout tragedy
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Hmmmm thinking about Agathario wenclair crossover fic happening after wednesday season 1 and canon divergence with the ending of aaa... i have many thoughs
#specially about rio passing as a botanical sciences teacher#and wednesday seeing through her bs because of course the addams would be “family” to death#billy studying on nevermore#agatha and rio being a old on crack and more scary version of wenclair who would still not be together#yoko being head over hils about the new “sucubbi” teacher because of course they would go with that#instead of explaining wtf kinda witch agatha is#agatha taking enid under her wing cause hello ostracized by her own mother for something beyond her control child#who is also conected to a blood moon and has certain questionable at best mood swings and actions now(imagine#under the guidance of someone even worse lmao)#agathario staying with the addams#they adopted billy kinda idc he's agatha's ward or something he's part of the package deal#rio annoying Wednesday about enid#agathario having way too much fun with all the murder mysteries while billy is crying in a corner#anyway wenclair being mirrored by two weird ass entities one of them bei g death herself#nevermore divided into amused beyond repair and terrified beyond compreension about wednesday and the new teacher being so alike#while having no fucking idea what the new teacher even is#like fuck it billy would be besties with enid too#maybe agatha would be for some miracle the new principal#or a history teacher being as old as she is lmao
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I am increasingly certain after 34 years of life that if you are afraid of something, if you want to get better, then you have to face it. Maybe you face it in little pieces. Maybe you face it with help or holding someone's hand, preferably in a safe environment but not everyone has that luxury. But exposure and being around what scares you is the only way to make it better.
Afraid of the ocean? Go touch the ocean.
Afraid of crowds? Go be around crowds for a time.
Afraid of being alone? Gonna have to be alone for a time.
Afraid of death? Talk about death, maybe go to a cemetary.
Afraid of becoming your parents? Gonna have to face the idea that you ARE probably like them to an extent, in order to NOT be like them.
Afraid of people not liking you? Gonna have to be not liked, sometimes.
Afraid of those thoughts saying you're a bad person. Gonna have to go talk to those thoughts.
Because humans are funny, paradoxical creatures, and almost always, the answer to being afraid of something is embracing it.
The more we embrace the thing we're scared of, the less control it has over us.
But, sometimes, people are also afraid of getting better. The decision to embrace our fears is not one that everyone takes.
Because sometimes, the fear of what is involved in getting better is greater than the original fear itself. It turns into a self-eating ouroboros.
Brought to you by me remembering me avoiding doing scary things and that made them worse and the only thing that makes them better is doing the scary things, even when scared.
#also brought to you by every time I've done something that seemed kinda insane or terrifying and people were like WHY STEPH#'I did it because I was scared of it.'#'what'#'to teach my brain that my imagination is always scarier than the reality'#I don't do scary shit because I'm not scared#I do it because I AM scared#I don't go talking to strangers because I love talking to strangers#I do it because I'm afraid of strangers. but I don't want to be.#I am so scared all of the time man#no matter how goofy or silly I look to other people or how quickly I volunteer for shit#that is more than 15 years of trying to face face my fears#15 years of fucking practice#and if never ends
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If I have energy I want to draw out some designs for an au I'm spontaneously writing.
(Medieval times, there's a Prophecy. Nightmare rules over this kingdom and is supposed to complete this prophecy, he refuses to because it would harm the people. Dream was sent away and banished by Night because he was dis-illusioned into thinking the prophecy was a Good Thing abd what he was raised to complete. Night collected his Knights (Killer, Dust, Horror, and Cross most recently) and trains them and tells them the truth of the prophecy. They're loyal to him. One day the magic of the prophesy (Apple Magic) leaves Nightmare unexpectedly, returning him to the state he was in before he accepted the mantle. This puts a target on his back and gives Dream a huge advantage in maybe making a comeback. The Knight's decide that their King (newly a young lad and variably scared and frightened) must be protected and they run the kingdom as he normally would, while also ensuring he survives and that the prophecy can't be completed.)
#yes this is fueled from RealAge AU vibes#and yes I technically have circled back around to my own initial post but like#the visual of these specific guys who've had various hardships in their lives suddenly like... idk... gaining a purpose and a protector in#Nightmare then seeing him reduced to a fraction of what they'd known him as. and still deciding to follow and care for him?#this au gives off distinct Older Brother energy because Night is like... 13-ish and not young enough to#baby but not old enough to resume his duties immediately#and he's got this like... awkward teen anxiety suddenly flooding through him that he doesn't know how to cope with#so the guys turn around and use lessons Night taught them while they adjusted to help him#Night's weak from Magic-loss? well he used to make sure Dust got bed rest and a meal so that's what we'll do!#Night is losing a huge chunk of his autonomy? They found a hobby for Killer so what does Night like?#just... yeah#plus Dream fully believes his bro pushed him out due to greed for power and had gathered forces to rally with him during exile#so he's the returned golden prince#and I imagine here that the final stand involves the knights scattering to stop Dream's forces while Killer stays with Night (<- most loyal)#and Killer hides Night right before Dream shows#and Dream says a bunch of vitriolic stuff about how Night ran and sacrificed his men and such and cuts down Killer with a near fatal blow#and Night finally manages to get out of wherever Killer stashed him and there's a moment where#Dream is seeing his little brother abd Night is seeing the man who lost his rights to be called brother when he attacked his Knights#and like... idk man#also Error is definitely Night's court magician/wizard because he bends reality in ways it really shouldn't#and here Error is younger because. i. I like the idea of an Errormare subplot but also like. the idea of scary spooky Overlord NM looking at#the wizard who just turned a vase inside out who's like 10 and learning he's a runaway and sponsoring him? yeah that's silly.#turns out Apple Night appreciated Error's raw talent. after the fact Night realizes he admires Error. insane tonal whiplash from his Knights#who have Zero protocol for courtships and kinda like. just watch it happen after the chaos is over#Okay that's all. i need to do my homework
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Damn I want a wrestling competition too.
Now do it with hxh����
....
please🛐
honestly . i'd be too scared to play wrestle any of these people HTJKEMGR i feel like this music would just start playing in the background as if some higher power is trying to intervene.
anyway. play wrestling, yan hxh edition.
lets you win, but droops themselves over you afterwards claiming that 'you trying to harm them hurt their feelings': CHROLLO, shalnark
gives you a single look that fills you with such shame you stop immediately: pakunoda
stares at you unblinkingly until you awkwardly give up or try to explain what you're doing: feitan, machi, illumi, shizuku
is just happy to be in physical contact with you: PHINKS, nobunaga
picks you up and holds you in the air like you're a feral kitten until you run out of energy: uvogin
there's not enough money in the world where you'd try to pick a fight with them, even as a joke: hisoka
#literally every situation i tried imagining was kinda scary or made me wince from embarrassment#miss paku could merely raise an eyebrow at me and i'd honestly say something like 'i'm sorry ma'am'#feitan would say something unnerving as a joke but you'd think he's being serious by his deadpan delivery#'playing bone break game now?'#GOD where is a restraining order when you need it#yandere#concepts#answered#Anonymous
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saw a bit of the one piece fan letter (?) animation thingy and god that style, the way it was animated and the different perspective (it was the bit with the marine guy ar marineford, possibly not even the full part) felt so .. different and refreshing, and i didnt even watch it with the sound
one piece has long lost me, it was my fandom before i got into zelda but around whole cake island i stopped reading/watching and with the reveal about luffys fruit it was the last nail in the coffin for me- still that animation is somethign else ....... almost makes me sad bc it looked so much more interesting than the actual thing is (to me)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#idk what that animation even is#bc its clearly professionally made but also a fan letter?#i almost miss one piece#but dont actually#its yet another one of those things that were my everything for years and years#until it started to turn into things i liked less and less until i was completely alienated from it#the same happened with my previous fandom before even that (transformers prime)#and im afraid its happening wiht zelda now too#even though at least with this one i got a more solid take on the lore and a big project to hold onto#still.... i dont want to lose zelda the same way#but its kidna already happening#i turned into a super lore guy with botw#and now i am just so .. indifferent to it#if totk and eow are anything to go by#.. even though eow isnt as bad as totk in any way i just ... dont care about the lore#and its kinda scary ......... i am so not interested in it ... idk i dont think it can all be bc of its format and style that isnt my thing#of course i am HOPING to like another zelda game ... but i really cant imagine they will make anything better again
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Yoshizawa, and what I would have liked to see from her character
P5R spoilers, to no ones surprise
I'll be honest, when i first played through P5R I very much did not enjoy Sumire. Didn't hate her, I just could not get myself to engage with her character. Which was a shame, because I saw what they were trying to do, I just think the game did it badly lol. Since then, I've started liking her significantly more. But, again, in no thanks to the game. Every few weeks I feel like I see a post somewhere discussing Sumire so I wanted to put all my thoughts in one coherent post. This mostly covers the direction I wish Atlus had taken to integrate her into the game better, based off completely my own opinions. First, I would have loved for them to lean further into the mysterious, possible-antagonist type I feel like they were teetering on the edge on in the P5R opening scenes in the casino. I think it would have been cool if you saw her hanging around members of the PTs during school, or had cutscenes of seeing Sumire and any of them together as if she was purposely befriending them, or any other small scenes that could have made her look suspicious if you were already coming from that angle, but then looking back after you finish the game, she's just some guy making friends. Of course, players who had played through the P5 vanilla would likely be a bit less suspicious, but with the addition of the 3rd semester I think it would be enough to keep people guessing about her role. I really don't have any detailed and well thought-out examples, though, so maybe it's not fair of me to criticize this part too much
However, I would revamp her fight with Joker in Maruki's palace completely. I feel like it comes off too much like it's Maruki's fault; she gets kept in his palace for a week and then when you meet her she fights you. To me, personally, even though I know she's choosing to do so, it really doesn't feel like it - it just feels like more of Maruki's influence. I think it would be infinitely cooler if she went back with the Phantom Thieves and then while they were all going through the palace she did something to sabotage their progress or try and stop them. It would feel so much more like her own decision and also highlight that desperation to stay as Kasumi - that she would be (apologetically,) willing to do something to halt or possibly harm her friends to avoid going back to how things were. I think if the Phantom Thieves managed to talk her out of it here, it would also work well for her actual awakening - it would likely be more impactful after a fight rather than in P5R, when the PTs are just going through the palace. It pisses me off how agency is a major theme of the game and yet one of the few times Sumire makes a choice, it's so easily brushed off as "Maruki's influence," because the game did not do a good job at portraying otherwise. In a fit of desperation, Sumire decided to fight Joker; she made that choice. But, especially with how the fight goes, with her persona then taking over, that choice is just washed over completely. I want her to be so desperate to hide from her trauma that she goes against the Phantom Thieves, and I want it to be unquestionably her decision.
There's probably more I could write, especially more about just the horror of her character, the whole taking on the role of your dead sister, but really that second part about changing her and Joker's fight is what I really wanted to talk about and dedicated most of my thoughts too lol
#ive gotta make a comic with that idea someday#or a fic#oh atlus why must you treat your female cast so terribly#also#again#imagine having your world shattered because you thought you were your dead sister#i didnt think about it much at first but the more i do the more im like#what the fuck#thats kinda scary#what the hell maruki#p5 meta#p5r#p5#p5 royal#sumire yoshizawa#persona 5#persona 5 royal
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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i really hate that i’m allergic to cannabis bwait hold on my phone just tried autocorrecting that to cannibalism. that’s so funny original post cancelled. imagine you eat a dude and it fucking eats you back.
#anyways i’m allergic to fruits in a ‘ough mouth hurts’ kinda way#which is fine#but with weed it’s like. my mouth and throat and head hurt and my throat starts closing and it gets harder to breathe. scary stuff#but also imagine you find our you’re allergic to human flesh
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Can we please talk about this scene???
Like look how scared he is! And Aziraphale is only worried!
Like it's these little moments where book crowley really come out cause anyone who's read the book knows that aziraphale is a badass. And I find it hilarious and amazing that when asked if he had a fire arm's license he like "oh of course I do" and crowley is just standing there dumbfounded and curious as to why his angel would ever need one.
AND AZIRAPHALE RESPONSE IS SIMPLY " I keep a gun hidden inside a hollowed out book" LIKE THAT NORMAL?!?!
I MEAN PEOPLE PLEASE! THIS IS THE (new) ARCHANGEL OF HEAVEN AZIRAPHALE HE'S NOT FUCKING AROUND
#can you tell I've been obsessing over this since it came out#like sweeties who's attacking you constantly that you needed a weapon to either scare them away or shoot them in a non-lethal area?!?!#good omens#soft crowley#scary angle aziraphale#I wonder if he'll take it with him to heaven to make sure Michael and Uriel keep in line#can you imagine?? just “god I'm kinda new to the job so please forgive me for what I'm about to do”#innefable husbands#also this is the only gif I could find of this sorry
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