#but it's just something i've done since i was 15 so i can't find it intimidating on anyone else lol

[vaspider]

This is the last thing I'm going to post about this. Yes, reblogs are turned off. No, I am not tagging anyone's Tumblr or pointing you towards the people involved: I have them blocked. Do not go bother either one of them.

The Tumblr post I responded to earlier tonight went up before I read the actual response emails, because, well. They were sent while I was AFK, and then the Tumblr post containing Razz's response emails was tagged for me while I was, you know, not working. When I finally got to actually read the emails, I hit this line:

I bought the first heat pack during your sale and it said very explicitly in the emails that you guys would send a random one from your supply, no mention that customers needed to put something else in their cart.

Emphasis mine.

And at the point where someone's just fully making stuff up rather than admitting they fucked up, I'm done. So. In the name of my own sanity, I issued a full refund for this order, and:

Hi Razz,

Since you and your friend decided to take this conversation to Tumblr in the 3 or so hours I was AFK spending time with my partners, I hadn't actually gotten an opportunity to go back and read these emails. The first time I saw them was not in my inbox but idly scrolling Tumblr while petting my dog at 11 PM with your friend's, uh… commentary on them. Your assumption that I was condescending and calling you stupid rather than that I'm autistic and speak very precisely is very interesting, in context, and skipping over me saying 'I'm baffled' and 'I'm genuinely confused' to call that 'I think you're stupid' and all of the other really shitty commentary your friend put on those emails is… well, it's a choice. And at first I thought this must be someone out of pocket and white-knighting for you so I was not going to hold you to account for what they said, but then when I went to go block them, I saw your comments, and your posts, so. Yeah, that's fun and cute.

Anyway, the email absolutely did not "explicitly say" that we would be picking from our stock. What it said was, as follows:

"Emet just spent a week going through our entire stock of fabric, adding all of the new patterns & figuring out which designs must be discontinued since the fabrics can't be ordered anymore. She's got all of the closeout heat & cold packs prepped - ready to fill & ship - and you can get one of the discontinued prints FREE with the purchase of any regular-price heating pad, no code required! When they're gone, they're gone, so don't wait! Order by December 14th for domestic heat & cold pack delivery estimated by 12/24."

This section is followed by a selection of 9 New Heat & Cold Pack Patterns, labeled "New Heat & Cold Pack Patterns," followed by another section marked "Closeout Options!" which had 5 of the then 15-20 Closeout patterns, all labeled with CLOSEOUT at the front of the name.

After this was our legally-required footer with our mailing address and the unsubscribe link.

Nowhere in there does it explicitly say that we will be picking the item for you. In fact, it says "you can get one of the discontinued prints free," which would seem to imply you need to pick something.

I'm not sure why I should have assumed that sending you a screenshot would be something inaccessible to you when you… sent me a screenshot. Nobody said you were incompetent. Nobody said you were stupid. Nobody said blind people can't take screenshots. I mean, you took a screenshot of the email that you said explicitly said something it does not at all say, so clearly you personally can take a screenshot, and find that to be a useful tool in communicating. Why would I have thought that responding in kind would be something inaccessible to you? I haven't a clue, but what I do know is that my wife just walked downstairs after her full sleep cycle and said, "Is this still that person?" so … yeah.

I've refunded this order & closed your customer account. It's genuinely worth it to me at this point to lose the money so I never again have to deal with a person who chooses to try to tell me falsehoods about the content of an email that I just told you that I wrote. No further responses will be received by any of our staff.

Spider

I’m not going to waste more time reading paragraphs of you insulting me over not understanding your esoteric definition of closeout and deciding that a blind person can’t be blind if they can take a screenshot. I had a simple question, I practically resolved it myself, and between my first email and the next you leapt to conclusions and treated me like dirt for the crime of not having access to information you never provided in am accessible way.  I choose to speak with a trusted friend over the situation the same way you would speak to your own partners. it was up to them what they did with your own words. Whatever fallout comes of this is on you. I’ve made sure the blind community is aware of your discrimination and as far as I’m concerned that’s the end of this. I hope your shipping costs I never even asked about were worth the income you've lost from me and my extended community since that tiny amount of money appears to be all you care about. 

Razz T. 

Razz,

Go away.

[confinesofmy]

dude's gotta be the baby of his family or something. crazy attitude problem. he got mad in the car because we wanted to listen to the drunk driving ai country song which he hates (after he played like 10 gay sex rap songs (not that we minded them)). then he got mad because 150cc mario kart was hard to play, then got mad because he was sick of mario kart and wanted to play his game. then he got mad about like 20 other things with his game. like bro. self-regulate.

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about how Charles failed to help Wade and literally went brain dead because of how much chaos is going on in there, one of if not the strongest brains, completely destroyed by how much shit is in there but... There's no charles in Finding Home Au because this universes Charles went out with Logan.

But what if Jean gave him a crack? Jean likes a good challenge and Wade cant keep a therapist to save his life. And Jean owes Logan one sooo....

Why not?

"A-are you sure? Jean you can't-" he glances over to wade across the room. "You can't go in there."

"Ive been in yours."

Logan scoffs. "You think MY head is messy? You don't understand, I've seen his phyc evaluations. One of the testers is in a phycward right now." He whispers through grit teeth, not wanting to bad mouth his husband but...it was the truth. It was a shit show in there. But it was Wade's show none the less.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine. I won't."

With a quick twitch of his nose, Logan glares. "You're lying."

"Yeah. Well what are you going to do about it? Hey Wade? Can you come with me for a second?"

Logan swallows as he watches him jog over, eager to help in what ever way he can. He bit his tounge with his canines. Where's Kurt? He needs a prayer done. For the both of them. In all honesty he wasn't sure which one needed it more.

Within 15 minutes, As logans pacing the hall infront of her door, She happily opens it up.

"Sooooo one.. You are so right. It's a mess in there."

"I told you not to look, red!!"

"It was just a peak! Anyway- I rearranged a few things anndd Tada!"

Rushing into the room, he's worried of what she's done to him. He expected smoothbob from that one episode when SpongeBob lost his personality and became boring, but instead, Sitting on the edge of her bed, there he was.

Tears were running down his face as he played with a rubrix cube, the cube wet from tears as he stared off into space, thick black headphones over his ears. His eyes flickered back and forth, his hands busy.

"..Wade?? Jean!" He scolds her, worried.

Giggling a bit, She pats his shoulder. "Oohh calm down tiger. He's fine. He's just.... Silent."

He glares. "What are you ta-"

"Bilateral 8th dimention audio stimulation." She smiles. "Aka- Science!"

"Why is he crying? Does it hurt?"

"No, not at all. I told you, It's silent."

"You..."

"Mhm."

"I-.. How did you get rid of them? We've tried so much medication! Nothing works because of his healing factor. You're telling me this whole time he just needed music therapy?"

"Welllll and for me to plug a few serotonin receptors, but yeah. Practically the same thing.. besides.. I didn't get rid of them. They're just quiet... for now."

Logans' smile fades. "Oh.."

"But hey, At least we found something, right? So if it gets too bad, you can always shut him-"

Logans brow raised.

"Them- Up. Just for a song or two." She mutters, glancing to her phone. "He's in the middle of Pentatonix right now. If you bring him by every week or so, I can maybe dig through that trash heap and patch up some more chemical imbalances." She mutters, putting a hand to her chin. "Not sure if it would stay though, so if his head gets chopped off or something, I'll have to do it all over agai-"

Before she could finish, Logan interrupted. "So he's... relieved?"

"Yes." She smiles.

"Without pain??"

"The most I could spare."

He hugs her tight. "Thanks, Jeanie! You're amazing!!" She blushes, having not been hugged by Logan since.. well.. since before he died. It was awkward, but.. warmer. Then she remembered.

When he pulls away, she watches he rushes over, sitting next to him, but Wade doesn't respond. He glances back. "What did you tell him by the way?"

"Oh, yeah hold on." Right as this song ended, She turned off the headphones, making him blink and look up, confused. Wiping his tears he glanced at the unfinished cube and then to Logan as if he wasn't even aware he was there.

"I-... Why am I crying? Uhm.. I didn't finish it.. It's still... messed up." He says as slowly the noise in his head starts again.

"Oh, that's alright. You can finish it next time. You did very well for your first time." She tells him, giving him that motherly smile, the large belly just adding to the feeling of praise.

"Oh.. uhm.." he swallows, smiling awkwardly. "Okay. Do.. do you need help with anything else?"

She thinks for a second. "I mean.. it would be really nice if you tied my shoes. I uhm... I can't reach. For obvious reasons."

"Because you're a planet?"

"Pregnant!" She snaps. "T-there's a difference.. but yes."

It's Logan who ties her shoes, Wade handing back her unsolved cube, unaware of what had just happened. He had an idea, but he wasn't 100% sure. For all he knew and how she praised him, they could have totally just done an epic sex thing, and he didn't remember what so ever.

Taking Logan's arm he felt... relaxed. Still baffled but they weren't as loud anymore. Talking in his head instead of screaming bloody murder (which some were demanding). "That was... weird. Did I just get mind fucked? GASSPP Loagie you let her mind fuck me!?"

"Eehh kind of. Come on bub. We going headphone shopping."

"Oooh I must have done really well then if Im getting treats!"

Standing at the door, She smiles as they leave. Seeing such a big toothy grin on the both of them was so different. And yet? It felt good. Nice to see him so happy. So deeply devote to someone... and.. if she wasn't mistaken.. she had seen a thought or two of discount engagement rings in that messy little head of his, though just looking for a split second, a glimpse, gave her a massive headache...

[icaruspendragon]

I got tagged in one of those "get to know me" tag games back in 2021 and I wanna see how 2024 me's answers compare!

2021:

1. Nickname: berk

2. Zodiac: Gemini

3. Height: 5’4

4. hogwarts house: it’s been years since I last took the test, but Gryffindor

5. Last thing I googled: yellow wallpaper. The short story haha.

6. Song stuck in my head: movement by hozier

7. Number of followers: 1021

8. Amount of sleep: 4ish hours recently

9. Lucky number: I don’t think I have one but my favorite is 27

10. Dream job: something where I get to help people

11. Wearing: mom jeans, black turtleneck, gray quater zip for the university of Mississippi chapter of delta gamma. Thrift store finds, ya know?

12. Favorite author: Kurt Vonnegut

13. Favorite instrument: cello

14. Aesthetic: someone once told me that I looked like “every kind of lesbian.” So whatever that means.

15. Favorite song: uhh, currently it’s probably “would that i” by hozier

16. Favorite animal noise: kitty cat purrs

17. Random: today at work some lady told me that everytime she comes in she looks for me because I make the best drinks. I haven’t stopped smiling bc of that :’)

2024:

1. Nickname: berk, professor alpha

2. Zodiac: gemini

3. Height: 5’4

4. hogwarts house: once again it's been years since i last took it, but my result that time was slytherin

5. Last thing I googled: "how does a pipe bomb work? I'm not gonna make one I'm just curious /gen"

6. Song stuck in my head: nothing at the moment, but according to receiptify my top ten most listened to songs for November so far are:

man or muppet - jason segel, walter

blue sky & the painter - bastille

marie & polonium - bastille

intros & narrators - bastille

eve & paradise lost - bastille

red wine & wilde - bastille

seasons & narcissus - bastille

fratelli d'italia - this is the italian national anthem lmao

the rattlin bog - seamus kennedy

nobody's soldier - hozier

7. Number of followers: 14,841

8. Amount of sleep: not enough

9. Lucky number: my original answer still stands. big fan of 27 still, too.

10. Dream job: I don't dream of being a laborer, but I still very much want to something that helps people.

11. Wearing: biker shorts and a 2024 gran premio dell'emilia romagna crewneck. welcome back princess diana

12. Favorite author: opal_bullets of ao3 fame

13. Favorite instrument: banjo

14. Aesthetic: on a spectrum that goes from academic queer to refined-button-up bisexual

15. Favorite song: it changes somewhat often. my all time favorite is icarus by bastille but my current is the don reno version of feudin' banjos

16. Favorite animal noise: when my cat groans like she's a blue-collar dad whose long day at work and just wants to decompress in his recliner

17. Random: I was very brave and also very sexy and I decided to go back to school after dropping out at the end of my senior years four years ago and I registered for classes this week and I am not going to let myself self sabotage and quit before I've even started because of anxiety-driven-fear-of-the-unkown-control-issues because it's okay to be scared. you just can't let that stop you and I'm done letting it stop me !!!

[serahlink]

‼️EMERGENCY COMMS OPEN! || HELP A HOMELESS ARTIST ‼️

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!! :")

Making another commissions post since things have been getting worse as the month goes on. For those who are just coming across this, my name is Link and I'm a 22 y/o homeless artist. My family and I (father and younger sibling) have been in this situation for about three years now since November 2021 and I've been doing commissions to support us until something changes. We don't have anywhere to go or anyone to really turn to financially or housing wise, so we've been on our own since then. My father has managed to get his ID but with no transportation and jobs being too far out, it's made job hunting more difficult and we've yet to find anything.

This month has been one of the toughest with us owing 100$+ due to not being able to pay the daily rent. We do get extensions here but they're hard to keep up with when they double so quickly and work is becoming more hard to come by, and bumping posts on my other socials hasn't done much for us. Sadly, tonight isn't any different. We owe 190$ for tonight and for the last three days, we've been unable to get anything for it. If we can't pay tonight then we will be forced to leave, and I'm not sure what we'll do if we can't cover it.

My commissions are open for anyone interested in supporting us that way, but reblogs/shares also help us a ton since it helps spread the word to possibly get us the help we need :") I'm a fantasy oriented artist, mainly surrounding fandoms like DND, Baldurs Gate 3, Skyrim and Dragon Age, but I've done non fantasy related things as well like furries, feral creatures, comic or modern characters, I'm welcome to pretty much any fandom or request! My only donts are anything excessively violent or sexual (nonsexual nudity is okay), proship/all around that sorta content, and anything hateful (homophobia/transphobia/racism/etc.) if you have any questions about what I will do/wont do that isnt listed here, feel free to ask!

My turn around time can ranged from four weeks or shorter to a month or two given the complexity and how my situation is going at the time. I only take payments upfront with no refunds since we use the money immediately for the room or food and are unable to give proper refunds. My prices will be below and my messages will be open for anyone interested in supporting us that way, thank you so so much if you do help or reblog, I can't tell you how much we appreciate it. Especially with how things are going now.

~Prices~

Sketch (price depending on type of sketch) - base price of 15$

Sketch page - 15$ per sketch

Headshot - 25$ (+10$ if shaded)

Bust - 35$ (+10$ if shaded)

Expression Sheet (minimum of 3 heads per sheet, 10$+ per extra head) - 45$ (10$+ if shaded)

Half body - 50$ (+10$ if shaded)

Full body - 70$ (+15$ if shaded)

Couples Commission (a commission that includes two people) - 90$ (+15$ if shaded)

Group commissions (commission that includes more than two people, price dependant on the details) - 60 base price(one character, unshaded; each extra character is +75% to the original price) (40$+ if shaded) 

Paintings

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for entertaining a friendship with a child?

okay so this might be a weird one or even a controversial one i honestly have zero clue how other people will receive this, apologies in advance if i ramble!

to begin, i (23ftm) and this kid (15f) first met about a year ago. one of my best friends (23m) is a pretty big model and tiktoker and she was a fan of his, and she was pretty recognized online for making cool edits and stuff of him and coming to meetups etcetera, so he knew of her from there, and over time with always seeing each other at meet ups and her being in his discord server (where i mod) she kind of became pretty well known to us.

an important thing to note is that she's SUPER neurodivergent and she's had a really tough life. she lost her older brother a few years back and she's (i'm not sure of the correct way to put it, her family is originally from the netherlands and their english is kind of in the works so this is how they put it) developmentally behind a few years - her parents describe this as her being "mentally more 13 than 15" but her behaviour to me is even younger than that. she's very very innocent and trusting, very overemotional and sensitive to criticism etc, loves stuffed animals and pink and cartoons and all of that. she's told me she feels like a little kid sometimes and will talk/act like one so maybe there's an element of trauma-rooted age regression there, i'm not super sure - i'm not gonna get into detail but she's talked to me about her life a lot and she's had some pretty fucked up shit happen to her.

from the beginning she pretty much imprinted on me - she's told me before i remind her of the big brother she lost, and ever since then she's called me her "big brother" and "family" etc. at first i was more just playing along with it to make her happy but over time she really has become something like a little sister to me, i feel super protective of her. i want to become a teacher after college (not to mention eventually a parent with my fiancee) so i think at least part of it is that taking a kid 'under my wing' so to speak is giving me experience with it all. i've always been kinda paternal/protective over kids in general but i was the youngest sibling in my family so i never really had anyone to utilise that on before

she does rely super heavily on me emotionally, especially because after i found out she was being bullied pretty badly at school i started dropping by to keep her company during breaks/lunch and making sure shit was okay (which her still-living brother used to do, but he's a famous?? - unsure How famous, i don't know sports at all - footballer/soccer player who's often in another country and can't see her often anymore), and i've been working with her to curb that. i'm actually currently working with her parents to find her a good therapist and support system. she's no longer in the tiktok friend's discord just because it was getting a little all-consuming for her and we encouraged her to take a break, but she's done a TON of work on herself and maturing since then and she does plan to rejoin at some point soon.

however, i find it really really hard to gauge whether being so close with a child is... like normal? or not. i honestly can't tell if it's kind of the internet caution about adults talking to minors kind of warping my brain and making me overly wary of what people will think or if i'm doing something wrong or if it's genuinely like a weird situation, so i guess i'm looking for outside perspectives.

the things that make me question it is that like i said she's very 'mentally young', she's very sheltered, and there definitely seems to be an element of her kind of replacing the older brother figure she lost with me. on top of that, we met through her being a fan of my friend, and though she's now separate from that i worry there could still be an element of power there because i'm close with the guy she calls her idol. her family knows me and seem totally chill with everything, but they've told me she tells people at her school that i'm literally her brother and basically 100% talks about me as if i'm her biological family, which i find super sweet but at the same time wonder if it's healthy.

she obviously needs therapy and hopefully soon we can get her it, but: AITA for entertaining a sort of found family dynamic / friendship at all with someone very vulnerable and young or is this genuinely helpful for her?

What are these acronyms?

[thattimdrakeguy]

I HAVE BEEN READING ZDARSKY BATMAN, AND I HAVE DECLARED: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!

I'm reading the Batman Zdarsky run in reverse. That way if I see any bull I can back out at anytime: and to be honest--besides a few things. I really enjoy it

LIKE YO, THAT IS JUST STRAIGHT UP TIM DRAKE RIGHT THERE. It knows who he is as a character. his motives, it's great.

Screw the people complaining "oh why is tim still robin :((", THIS IS WHY HE IS STILL ROBIN. Because this is when he's at his BEST. When he gets to hit his character purpose, WHEN HE GETS TO BE HIM AT HIS MOST HIM. It's FANTASTIC.

Reading in reverse because I know I hated the first story, it was so contrived and ridiculous.

But this--this is some good shit.

Tim being an underdog fighter, having to use his wits to win the fight? MY DAWG, MY DUDE, MY GUYS, MY GALS, MY THEMS, MY THEYS, THIS IS SO TIMMY DRAKE. This is so damn Tim Drake, guys. Oh, my gosh, I am loving this so far.

Dick has his temper back? And trust me, he isn't normally like this. But he's hitting a limit AND IT'S SOMETHING NEW, NOT JUST A REFERENCE. HE'S ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING HE'D DO, 'CAUSE HE'S AT HIS LIMIT. That's wonderful, man. That is so wonderful.

Plus Tim is the heart of the Bat-Family again? This feels like someone actually went back to read these characters before writing it. I'm not saying everything is perfect of course, but these high marks are exceeding all my expectations. And I STOPPED reading comics because of how the beginning of this run destroyed any hope I had.

You guys have no idea how much I'm enjoying the few issues I've read. Besides the cussing (I remember after a bit they decided Tim was someone who used funny words instead of proper cusses), this feels like the Tim I know and love during the era I especially loved him.

Tim comparing himself to his predecessors? Tim not being a natural? A WRITER REMEMBERING THAT?? It's been so long since I've seen that! Most writers treat him like he was another prodigy when he wasn't. AND THIS GUY REMEMBERED THAT!

I shouldn't be so happy at just seeing Tim do Tim things, and serving his character purpose. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A WRITER KNEW WHAT TIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.

Only complaints I have is that Jason feels like a typical Bat-Family member, and not the sketchy outsider that he is. Making him so close makes his character more bland in my opinion. And Steph is--also generic af unless she's wacky quirky...which is a characterization I hate for her, because she started off so damn interesting, but they made her a freaking trope instead, which is such a disservice to her, but she barely does anything so far, so whatever I guess. Doesn't mean much.

--

This is the first honest thing I've seen that I hated.

No

Not this

This isn't the Bat-Family

This is a sitcom world the fandom wants to be the Bat-Family and some comply with

They're not a sitcom. The conflicts, and uniqueness of the characters is what makes things feel alive and well.

This stuff is cheap fanservice for the fanon demographic that doesn't buy comics to begin with.

Fanon doesn't belong in canon.

--

I mean sure Tim could be drawn smaller, the gag of him looking 12 when he's nearly 18 doesn't work when he's bigger than Damian who is 15 (and contrary to some bullshit comics isn't meant to be small. that was a random thing added for writers who aren't clever to write better humor. it actually contradicts things that were already established).

Don't see the big deal though for most of this.

Can't wait to find it, though. Oh boy.

This whole obsession with Zur Batman, is way over done though. So--I wouldn't be shocked if that was the problem, because my golly does that plot point not seem to be stopping--and it was there from the start and part of the reason why I didn't read it 'til now.

Good Tim tho, at least. So heehee, yey for that--I think--I guess.

Oh, well.

It let me peak at a pseudo-version of an AU I made up years ago. So that's pretty freaking cool.

Always a plus.

And redoing Red Robin story beats but better? Normally I'd hate references to Red Robin, 'cause that changed the perception of so many characters for the worst, but ayy, a bit of redemption isn't bad.

Man, just seeing simple stuff like Tim and Bruce being good ol' classic Batman and Robin warms my heart. It's been so long since Batman and Robin has acted like a proper classic Batman and Robin. It's dynamic that's been sorely missed by many.

OH, MY GOSH, WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO STINK SO BAD. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

Like, DUDE, this is such a Tim thing for him to do!!

And he's showing emotion?? He's crying like how he does?? Because he's not a typical Bat-Family member who just angsts his way through?? THEY'RE MAKING HIM STAND-OUT AGAIN BY MAKING HIM, HIM??

WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD?? THIS IS GOOD SHIT.

Like this part is why I originally stopped reading, not because Bruce should think Tim is his soldier, and not his son, THE FREAKING OPPOSITE.

But because the original story has Bruce acting weird when unneeded, just to say this was so unneeded, and adding in all these stupid corny Bat-Family moments was so groan worthy.

This run started off with a story that was a total turn off for me.

To end up being a run that could've kept me enjoying DC, rather than running away from it from as far as I have.

Chip Zdarsky started off awful, but really, he ended up great.

And I've seen people complain about his run, and TRUST ME, there's stuff to complain about. But I have only ever seen the stuff worth complaining about, or stuff I WOULD complain about.

WHEN MOST OF THE RUN IS GOOD

At least when Tim is around.

Go figure.

Maybe I should've paid sole attention to how he wrote Tim and nothing else at the very least for that first story.

'Cause even in the first story, Tim was well-written--it's how cheap the rest of the story telling was in that first story that turned me off--and the weird knew about the movie plans that I am still fully judging harshly. (Love the new Superman film suit, though)

[uninformedartist]

So hey long time no see, just popping in to say that this video by Official_TVC is bullshit.

So summary + thoughts:

Video starts off with defintions on different types of stalking & they say Vivienne has experienced all this kind of stalking. Then goes on to say its 2 individuals doing this stalking and they we the viewer doesn't need to know them, Official_TVC has done a lot of research on them and we should should trust Official & their word without evidence because apparently they retweeted something on twitter & it was a tumblr post thats supposedly exposed Vivienne's siblings, personal things ect. All this is hearsay by you, it shouldn't make the average viewer trust your word. Yes I've seen things but that was from posts I've seen.

Aside -honestly Official should be questioning the anon asks we get on here, some of the asks contain some questionable info like how do you get that info. People get asks on here containing info, people don't go out & hunt all Vivienne's private life, we receive stuff thats how things come to light, OTHER PEOPLE SEND US STUFF.

All the background of the video is helluva boss/hazbin scenes coupled with music from respective shows. No evidence, not even heavily censored evidence to protect Vivienne, just Official_TVC talking & basically saying "trust me bro I did research, believe me". This is heinous accusations, individuals you are talking about & you give nothing. It could be lies for all people know, I don't even believe & I've seen the things you're referring to.

Continued, the stalkers, the 1st one is a "troll" according to Official_TVC & the second is supposedly so bad they were quote " has been 15 ft from vivziepop", no backing on that 15ft statement, Official_TVC just states this. All this stalking, entire pages made is because of a ship. Leaking show stuff (aside again, is GIVEN TO US VIA ANONYMOUS ASKS).

They carry on to say essentially all this hate talk on Viv on YT is cos she's popular, they got nothing of meaning to say on Viv cos they hate her so much they can't talk about her positively. They then mention a person has a never ending stream that just feeds misinformation other YouTubers & quote "on the precipice of wanting to strangle a woman (Viv) who made the crime of making demons gay". Wtf does that mean, who has this never ending stream of feeding misinformation to other YouTube, who & wtf are you talking about.

Anyway, goes on to compare spindlehorse workplace allegations to Amazon (yes ironic) & how Amazon treats its workers really bad... do I need to say more. Goes on to say everyone ragged on Viv because hazbin hotel is on Amazon, Amazon is bad & quote by Official_TVC is cos "everyone looks for an excuse to hate". Ok now I'm giving evidence on why people ragged on Viv for prime since you give jackshit.

Amazon/prime is currently being boycotted, its on the bds list why people were saying to pirate hazbin. Not some bullshit reason Official gave on it being mindless hate. Here is a video explaining why people are boycotting Amazon:

Vivienne also like this post from a fan, do I need to spell out how fucking disgusting this tweet is and the fact that she liked it.

Official carrys on to say stalker 1 did 3 things, doxxed Vivienne, & in their words if you go to said person's page Official states "im pretty sure they know where vivziepop lives". That is speculation, thats your opinion cos no evidence is provided or can be for that matter cos this is what YOU think. Dropping as Official says "nuggets" of info on Viv's siblings University, their work (this info was from a sibling's linked in page, public info). Can I say aside, I know her sibling's names. Why, not from stalking but from them leaving comments on Viv's speeddraws and Viv publicly naming them on her PUBLIC socials. And if you know someone's name you can easily find out what uni they went to, if you know my name & search me up you know what uni I go to its in the public on their linked in, social posts ect.

They go on to talk about how terrible leaking Viv's shows are, which idgaf. Amazon is a zionist corporation I'm pirating anything of Vivienne. Even invincible which I love, pirated it. Fans should too (since I see a lot of fans with free palastine in bio but still pay for prime). Anyway thats on them.

TW: talks of sexual harassment. So Official doesn't want to give more info on this individual which I respect & understand. However they say stalker 1 is sexually harrassing this person, sending content of a sexual nature all because the victim in this situation didn't agree with stalker 1 on the stalker's sentiments on hazbin hotel. I understand protecting the victim but my soul you're literally protecting the perpetrator. Expose them, you keep staying stalker 1 & 2 CALL THEM OUT. Protect the victims but expose the perpetrators.

They go on to stalker 2, who know stalker 1. Stalker 2 supposedly went to the hazbin premiere. They were there to keep an eye on vivziepop Official quotes. No evidence of this quote or info just them relaying it. Again this is all your words against what. Yeah that is concerning it really is but substantiate this evidence & quotes. This is the 1st time I'm hearing about this so I would like to know more on this & this heinous person. But you don't give any evidence. Official says " these people need to be stopped", how can they be stopped. You give no names, no info or evidence, its wishful thinking you saying this. I'm harping on and on on about Official gives no evidence but its so flipping frustrating hearing them spout all this WITH NOTHING to back their words.

TW again: Mentions of suicide and Shay a fan bullied by the fandom who then took their own life. Know a lot of people are still saddened by what led to Shay's passing why I mention this.

Official says stalker 1 is using the death of Shay to entice fruther harrassed on Vivienne. Its "apparently now", huskerdust fans went after Shay with heinous harassment & Shay subsequently ended their life, may they rest in peace. Official claims stalker 1 says Vivziepop is directly responsible for Shay's death. Shay's death was worded as "apparently" but stalker 1 using Shay's death to pin it on Vivziepop is stated as a fact. How disgusting can you be someone died & its apparently so to you but your word of mouth should be considered fact, fuck off. Official then goes on to say... sighs quote "we do not hold politicians accountable when they massacre people of other countries... bloodlines don't exist but we don't blame the politicians pushing the buttons".

Ok wtf, yes we do we blame Biden & other politicians & presidents for pushing the figurative & literally buttons on massacring Palestinians & other minorities, WE DO so wtf are you talking about. I honestly hate Official at this point because wtf are they saying. I don't blame vivziepop on Shay's death, even though when there was attempts to reach Vivienne on what was happening to Shay, maybe the channels they used like email didn't get the message across unfortunately. What I absolutely hate is when fans, like official now use Shay's death as a pawn in relation to people hating on Viv. No one that I've see & I'm saying it now I know who these stalker 1 & 2 are not even they were as disgusting as Official & fans to use Shay's death as to further hate on Vivienne. What Official_TVC is saying is bullshit.

And I disregard everything Official_TVC says after they hearted this comment, fuck you Official_TVC for hearting this vile comment.

I link a screenshot of the outreach to Vivienne via email on Shay aswell as the document on Shay's.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vSfCoyn81fp83pycx5eyS4oxryRpFnVnHdEeyEyouigrKSWAZ5iEgTjt7Q63n68S_PcZK7_klB-9dH1/pub

In all this video is a load of nothing, bullshit actually & just vile on the parts of Shay. They ended of once again reiterating they won't give proof because people just want names & evidence for the tea/gossip & they want to protect Vivienne, shoo shoo. Again trust me bro, I did the research so trust me.

I want to reiterate I condone no actions if provided true on stalker 1 or 2. But from what I've seen of them is all out of context, lies spread by the fandom & things just made up down the grapevine. I don't do this for likes, clout or other bullshit the fandom says. Wouldn't be of me on my nature and the work that I do. Come with substantial evidence, then we discuss & make conclusions but for now

...

I hate Vivienne and this fandom, bye all.

[dykelips]

steddie — friends with benefits to lovers drabble

“friends don't do what we do.”

rating — teen & up. | tags — fwb to lovers, roommates au, everybody lives/nobody dies, gay steve, gay eddie, mutual pining, friends to lovers, love confessions, angst and hurt/comfort, friends with benefits.

steve's never really had self control. he's never had any when it came to several instances—calling jonathan byers a queer, kissing tommy on a drunken night when he was 15, going straight into an alternate dimension, facing billy hargrove and getting his ass beat, or even telling robin he has feelings for her, soon to find out she's a lesbian, and that he himself is a gay man.

steve's self control surely didn't exist the day steve proposed an... idea to eddie—a no attachment, friends with benefits who bang and get it out of their system type of deal. they're already best friends, deeply bonded from the whole vecna ordeal, so what harm could this do to them?

and now that steve thinks about it, it didn't do a small amount of harm, it practically ruined steve. he fell for eddie, and he's not sure eddie feels the same way.

steve broke his own rule. he found himself attached to eddie, thinking about eddie, talking only about eddie, being in love with eddie.

after steve comes home to their apartment and sees eddie making out with someone on their couch, he starts an argument. he doesn't own eddie, they aren't dating, and eddie's a grown man who can do whatever he wants, but seeing someone else other than himself lay their lips onto eddie's and kiss him, that really starts something inside of steve.

he can practically feel all of the months worth of collected feelings and thoughts bubbling up inside of him and almost spilling out over the sides the second eddie says what he says.

"we're just friends. we're friends, steve. you're you, and i'm me, and that's it," eddie says, arms crossed over his chest, hiding himself away and trying to tuck himself together.

"friends!? fucking—fucking friends, eddie? that's what we are? friends don't do the things we do."

steve scoffs and looks directly at eddie, face going red with anger and a mix of pain inside of him.

eddie looks down, lips pulled into a thin line, eyes downturned and hair hanging down around him, shielding him like a cave hidden behind a waterfall.

"yes, harrington. friends," eddie breathes out, head snapping up. "you act like you want me to say that we're more than that, but you're not into me. you just want to fuck me and act like nothing happened. i can't deal with that. i need someone who loves me, who tells me they need me and will take care of me and isn't disgusted or annoyed by me. that's what i need, not a fuck-buddy."

steve sputters and reaches his hands out, mentally saying fuck it and telling eddie how he really feels.

"eddie, jesus christ! i'm in love with you! i've been in love with you since you woke up from that goddamn coma last year."

eddie's eyes go wide, comically large and round, looking like bambi. he really fucking loves him.

"stop messing around, man."

steve shakes his head, not letting eddie dismiss him and believe it's just some sick joke that he's playing on him.

"why would i lie about loving you, eddie? everything i've done, it's all because of you. do you really think i would tell you this and compromise our friendship if i didn't feel just like i'm telling you now?"

eddie's mouth opens and closes like a dead fish, and he finally shuts it fully. "i, i don't—"

"if you don't love me back, that's okay. i just had to tell you, eds. you don't understand how much you mean to me," steve confesses, lips pulled into an apologetic smile. he goes and turns to walk out the door of their apartment,

eddie shoots out his arm, hand grabbing onto steve's forearm, squeezing, trying to stop him from leaving. "steve! fuck, i love you, too! i do, i really, really do. and, look, i didn't know how to tell you, because you're always being so frustratingly you, clearly not understanding all the hints i've dropped, trying to signal that i've been in love with you for months, too."

eddie licks his lips and his eyes seem to plead.

"really?" steve asks, hope bubbling up inside of him.

he nods, hair shaking around. "yeah, stevie. cross my heart and hope to die. i mean it. swear on it, even."

steve smiles at that.

"swear on what, exactly?" he knows the line he's crossing, and if eddie says what steve thinks he'll say, then steve knows it's true.

"on my guitar. my sweetheart. you know the one. i swear on her," eddie tells him, eyes flipping down to steve's lips and back up to meet his eyes.

"that's a big swear, munson. might need you to kiss me to prove it," steve teases, stepping in closer to eddie's bubble, noses almost touching.

eddie grins, wider that steve has seen for as long as he can remember. "i can do that."

he certainly swears on his guitar if the kiss that they shared proves anything.

whoops i suck at endings and writing in general, but this has been stuck in my head and i felt like trying to write. here it is. love you xx

[padfootreggie]

Nemesis

Luke Castellan x OC

Warnings: daughter of Athena reader, smut, enemies with benefits, threats, hickeys, rough sex, makeouts

Summary: Valerie was practicing her archery until a boy decides to flirt with Luke's girl.

I whine finally sitting up, my sister had woken me up for breakfast. Quickly I grab my orange camp half-blood shirt but its shrunk in the dryer "fuck- Annabeth do you have an extra shirt?"

Annabeth sighs "you got paint on the last shirt I gave you Val, I don't really want to" I groan "I'm sorry again, please pleaseee"

She ignores me, I groan putting on the shirt. It's actually kinda cute. Then I change into my last pair of pajama shorts and sandals.

I start running to get some food. Hopefully they didn't finish me. I sit at my cabins table grabbing some grapes.

Some people stare at my outfit, sure it's a bit tight but what can I do? Oh well, I'll do laundry later. I can feel some special person staring deeply into my soul, of course it's stupid Luke

He glared at me angrily, staring me up and down before going back to his happy facade. I yawn finishing my breakfast.

Soon I walk off to the place I love most, the archery field. I grab a bow and arrow, and start shooting. I'm wrather good at archery now.

I practiced a lot over the years I'm been here, I've been here since I was 15, now I'm 18. Luke decided to walk over with that annoying smirk on his face.

Sure Luke is attractive, but something about him just gets on my nerves. He's so talkative and looves to annoy me.

I work on my practice, trying to find what's wrong with my form. Until I hear this grating voice "Hey princess" a boy from Ares says.

He's been trying to get with me for a month. He's a know player, but he's so pretty. I force a smile on my face batting my eyes "hey, Christian" my voice suggestive and innocent.

Christian smirks watching my body "so how's everything going?" I turn my body away trying to focus on practice I mutter "alls fine, and you?"

He goes closer and closer until our bodies mesh together. I notice Luke glaring, I smirk making eye contact as I slightly grind against the boy.

Christian moans in my ear. I feel so icky, but if it gets on Luke's nerves I'll do anything. Luke walks over intimidating Christian with Luke looking furious despite his usual fake personality.

The boy who was practically needy for me becomes distant. Luke smiled "you mind if I take Valerie for a second Christian?"

Christian scoffs but nods, obviously disappointed that Luke came. Luke practically drags me away to Hermes cabin.

I huff "Luke where are you taking me? Let me go!" Trying to act like I'm mad but I'm enjoying this. Luke is extremely possessive over me.

Since I'm 'his girl' all we do is hook up though, can never actually be together...right? The cabin is empty, still messy and cluttered.

Luke pushes me onto his bed grunting "why was Christian practically fucking you out there?!" I whine being pushed down.

"He went to me, Luke it's not my fault!" I pout, yelping when he pulls down my small shorts.

He whispered "and wearing this shit? Your begging for me baby you know how I hate others seeing what's mine!"

I cackle "I'm 'yours?' You can't even be near me in public!!" He huffs "you know what I fucking mean Val"

Luke rubs my clothed clit, my purple panties drenched in arousal. I whine as my puffy pussy is rubbed by Luke.

Pulling down my panties he stares at my shirt angrily "fucking gods such a small shirt, baby it's like your trying to make me fuck you on the tables out there. I bet you'd like that huh? Letting everyone know who you belong to?"

I bite my lower lip whining, he unzips his jeans just enough to take out his dick. I moan at the sight, he's so needy. His tip a pretty pink.

Pre-cum leaks down his cock. It's been so long since we've done this. He pushes into me, not caring if I'm hurt or not.

Moaning my back arches, he fills me up so goodly, it's like he's made for me. His hips piston into my throbbing pussy.

Luke breathes out "been a long time so fucking tight for me babe." My back arches, and my toes curl. Sweat drips down my forehead.

It never takes him long to make me cum, it's been such a long time without cock I could cum in seconds I swear.

A tight feeling forms in my stomach, I'm so close. Luke fists my curls, pulling tightly. I moan and whine louder, showing him I'm close.

He goes faster if that's possible he growls "would he ever fuck you like this Val? Huh?" Me being fucked dumb I can't answer.

I shake my head no, a whimpering mess. My pussy tightens around his veiny dick. Making me cry out, Luke bites my shoulder.

He groans going harder, I love his sounds. They make him seem more human as he pounds into my dripping pussy.

I whine, back arching. I cry into his neck. "L-Luke I'm sorry! I won't talk to him ev-er again I swear I swear!!"

Luke only laughs feeling my squirt on his cock, he covers my mouth with his large hand "Quiet Val, don't want a camper to hear you hm?"

Lewd moans, and big slaps fill the cabin. After maybe 45 minutes I'm pretty sure I came 4 times, I'm so overwhelmed with pleasure.

I cry out "Luke I'm so-sory ple- n'more!!" I'm just mumbling words, stuttering and whining. Yet he keeps going. Luke whimpers "who do you belong to baby?"

Mumbling and crying I finally answer "you!! Luke C-Castellan I be-brlobg to you!!" He groans Cumming on my stomach, it's drooping down my sides from how long he's held in.

He lays his body on mine groaning. He kisses my cheeks, and neck for a while. We fall asleep both knowing we'll hate each other again in the morning...

--------------------------✩-------------------------

A/n: I hoped you liked this! It's so fun writing stuff like this bc sometimes I get butterflies from my own writing😭 who wants more Valerie?

[demphix]

Fuck it we ball: Charif Master Post

So a little while ago I made a Deltarune secret boss based on this dialogue from Rudy in Chapter 1

So I took this design I originally posted on December 24th, 2023 that I wasn't using at all and reworked her to fit the new idea

And here's the first sketch dump I did of her to get my ideas a little more ordered (originally posted June 6th, 2024)

Most of what I could say is already just kinda said in the sketch dump (though I'll admit it is kinda badly organized), but I should say the two defeat quotes near the bottom right aren't too in line with what I wanna do with her now so uhhh Ignore Them. And ignore the original music titles those also got changed

Speaking of the music, after posting that art I started working on her songs and their cover arts for YouTube and Bandlab. (All uploaded on June 11th, 2024)

Edit (August 7th, 2024): THESE ARE BEING REMASTERED. THE NEW VERSIONS WILL BE ADDED BELOW AS THEY ARE FINISHED.

(As stated before these are also on my YouTube channel in a playlist. Here's the link to it: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWcBEk8qiFhUEMeydinegtXnklzvRqYfg&si=ZzYex2g-dzL-qeDv)

And after all that there was one other sketch dump I've done, which was posted on June 14th, 2024.

Once again, most of the stuff I could say is already in the sketch dump (though there's a lot more joke drawings than the first), but if there are any questions feel free to send an ask my way

Edit (July 15, 2024): I ended up changing Charif's boss arena to something in line with the carnival theming of Spamton and Jevil and designing a main boss for the chapter, so I felt I should add that here.

Another Charif Sketch Dump with a whole Two important things. This was originally posted on July 7th.

Edit (July 29th, 2024): I made an additional theme for Vesper. Felt it should be here too since she's so tied to Charif.

Here have this too since I haven't drawn her much

Edit (August 7th, 2024): I made a plot guide for her! I could've conveyed some things better, but I hope it works for what it is.

Edit (August 17th, 2024): plot guide part 3.

Edit (August 28th, 2024): plot guide part 4: the one where I'm worried I was too mean to her

Edit (September 2nd, 2024): I remastered her themes! All tracks but "PRAYERS & PLEAS" (V2) were posted on September 2nd, with "PRAYERS & PLEAS" (V2) originally being posted August 7th.

You can find a post with all of them here, because I can't fit them all in one post. I may just make a new master post when the cover art is done tbh.

And here's the cover art for PRAYERS & PLEAS V2! I'll add the rest as they're made.

[brbsoulnomming]

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies Part 19

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | AO3

-----

This time, it's Steve that wakes them up in the middle of the night.

Eddie's disoriented for a moment, unsure what jolted him awake, until he looks over and sees Steve laying on his back in the low light, tense and straining.

"Scoops Ahoy, I work for Scoops Ahoy!" Steve's shouting, the words rough like they're being ripped from his throat. "I already told you!"

Fuck.

"Steve?" Eddie asks, voice raspy from sleep. "Hey, Steve, come on, wake up."

Steve shouts again, jerking like he's struggling against something - or maybe like he's getting hit - and Eddie bolts upright, hands hovering over him.

Should he touch him? What if it makes things worse, what if -

"Steve," he says again, a little louder, as he risks pressing his hand to Steve's chest to shake him a little.

Steve's eyes fly open, and Eddie watches him do the same thing he'd done in the hospital when Dustin jolted him awake - reach one hand down under his bed and reach the other hand out in search of a bed partner.

Only this time, Steve's first hand comes up gripping a baseball bat with fucking nails hammered into it, and his other hand comes into contact with Eddie. There's a quick stab of worry that he's not going to be familiar enough to shake Steve out of it the way Dustin had, especially since Steve's eyes are still unfocused and distant as they land on Eddie.

He must be familiar to something in Steve, though, because he doesn't move after that, watching Eddie and breathing harshly.

"Robin," Steve says a little desperately. "They got her, too, we have to - Erica, Dustin, fuck, I gave them Dustin's name, we have to make sure-"

"Dustin's okay," Eddie manages to get out, all in a rush. "Robin got out, Erica and Dustin are okay."

The vague familiarity shifts into a firm recognition after Eddie speaks, and Steve's eyes focus a little more clearly on him.

"Eddie?" he asks, and Eddie can see Steve trying to sort himself out, to put things back into place. "Vecna. Max, Lucas, are they-"

"Safe," Eddie cuts in. "They're safe, Stevie, everyone's safe."

Steve's quiet for a moment, breathing slowly starting to even out, and then he shifts, eyes roaming over Eddie before settling on his face.

"You too?"

Eddie swallows. "Yeah, me too. I'm here, and we're all safe."

Steve tilts his head, face a little scrunched like he does when he's considering something, then he nods. "Okay."

He sets the bat back down, tucking it under his bed once more, then pushes himself up so he's sitting back against his headboard. Eddie joins him, feeling his own heartbeat start to slow.

"Wasn't sure that was going to work," Eddie admits.

Steve quirks a little smile. "You're my soulmate. You can't lie to me. If you say everyone's safe, then they're safe."

Oh.

"I, uh. Good, that's good, then."

Fuck, Eddie's bad at this.

Except it seems to work for Steve, who just sits there with him.

"Hey, I never asked - are you okay with hiding out here?" Steve says after a while.

Eddie tips his head to stare at him. "Does it look like I've got any other options?"

Steve's shoulders droop a little. "No, yeah, I know that, but - are you okay with it?"

"This is a hell of a lot nicer than the last place I was holed up in." Eddie gives a careless shrug, a little pleased that he can actually manage the motion without pain, now. "Plus, you know, it's got my soulmate, and room service, so I'm pretty good here."

Steve seems to accept that, because he gives an amused little huff and knocks their shoulders together.

"You're the one we need to be worried about, not me. If they find me, you should say I forced you to let me stay here," Eddie says, even though he's pretty sure he knows what Steve's response to that is going to be. "We don't have to tell anyone."

Steve snorts. "If they find you, the first thing I'd do is tell them you're my soulmate and you have every right to be here."

Eddie's breath catches. All right, no, he hadn't known what his response would be. He'd assumed that Steve wouldn't go along with pretending Eddie'd forced him into this, but he hadn't imagined that Steve would want to publicly announce their soulbond like that. "Steve," he whispers, not able to get anything else out.

Steve waits for him, though, the two of them sitting up in bed, not quite touching each other but still so damn close.

"Claim your soulmate rights, then," Eddie says after a while. "So they can't question you too."

"No," Steve replies without hesitation. "They're not going to get you for this, Eds. If I need to be there to show them that you're not lying, I will."

His heart immediately lodges itself right in his throat. "You don't want to do that."

"If they bring you in? Damn right I do. They can handcuff me right next to you."

Before all this, the mention of him and Steve and handcuffs on one or both of them might have got him thinking something very, very different. It's a testament to how much they've been through that his mind doesn't even go there.

Or, really, it's a testament to the fact that he can still feel Steve's heart beating rabbit fast under his palm, can still hear him screaming Scoops Ahoy, I work for Scoops Ahoy! that makes him immediately and viscerally opposed to the idea.

"Maybe I don't want you to." It comes out snappier than he'd meant it to, and he winces.

Steve watches him, head tilted just a little like he's waiting for something.

To see if Eddie's lying, he thinks.

When nothing comes, Steve nods to himself. "Too far?" he asks quietly.

Eddie considers that for a moment. "No," he admits, because he doesn't want to deflect and any other answer would be a lie. He shifts, until he can find the spot on Steve's ribs where he'd seen you know all I care about is you and your safety earlier, and rubs his thumb over it. "I don't want you to go through anything like that ever again, especially not for me."

Steve sucks in a breath, though Eddie doesn't think he can feel anything with his shirt in between their touch.

"Not fair," Steve murmurs. "I don't know where my response to you is."

Eddie swallows roughly. "Inside of my left thigh."

For a moment, as Steve shifts a little, he thinks he might actually reach for it - doesn't know what the fuck he's going to do if he does, because there's no way Eddie's going to be able to hide his reaction - but Steve just sighs.

"It's just the Hawkins PD," he says softly. "It'll be different."

He guesses he can't really protest that, even though he kind of wants to. Steve was the one who went through it, and if Steve says it'll be different, he needs to accept it, just - he still doesn't like it, doesn't like the idea of Steve having to put himself in that position just for Eddie. He doesn't say anything, just sits there with their only point of contact the hand on Steve's ribs that he can't bring himself to move away.

"You talked to me again." Steve's voice is quiet - they both know he did, so it's not about the words. It's a prompt, the same way Eddie took to prompting Steve when they were planning for Vecna.

"I was worried I was going to lose you," Eddie admits. "Me being mad at you for high school shit felt overwhelmingly stupid, in the face of that. I didn't want to risk that no one else knew you were lying about not being hurt worse."

Something complicated flickers through Steve's expression, and he tips his head down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Eddie sucks in a breath and lets it out, thinks about asking what is it - but he doesn't want to put Steve in a position where he has to lie or deflect if he doesn't want to say it. So he settles for, "Will you tell me?"

He can see Steve's throat working for a moment before he answers.

"I tried not to lie, when they asked me things," Steve says, so quiet Eddie can barely hear him. "I knew I had two soulmates by then, but I didn't know one was Robin, and I didn't - I didn't want the first real thing you guys got from me after so long to be that. Half truths are easy for me, anyway. But some things-"

He cuts off, head thumping back against the wall.

"Steve," Eddie says, slow and gentle. "Can I touch you more?"

Steve nods, and Eddie scoots closer so he can carefully pull Steve into a hug. Steve sinks into him, wrapping his arms around him without hesitation, and Eddie thinks fuck it, clinging on as tight as he can.

"You don't have to look at them," Eddie mumbles. "You won't ever have to see them if you don't want to. But I'm proud of those words on my skin, Stevie. They mean you survived, they mean my soulmate is a fucking badass."

The breath that Steve pulls in sounds ragged. "Robin said that, too. That every time she felt something getting written on her, she knew it meant I was still there. She helped me talk to you, after. I just - I wasn't sure it was you, or anyone in Hawkins, but I couldn't risk it. I was afraid they'd come after you."

Eddie's not sure what to say to that. He settles for burying his face into Steve's neck, and just breathing him in. They stay like that for a long while, until finally Steve hisses softly and starts to pull away.

"Can't hold my stomach muscles like that for so long yet," he says, and Eddie doesn't think he's imagining that Steve sounds reluctant.

"You wanna lay down?" Eddie asks before he's really thought it through.

It takes a little bit of shifting around to find a position that's comfortable for both of them. They end up on their backs, sides pressed together, half turned so they can look at each other.

"Hi," Eddie says once they're settled, hearing the dopey grin in his voice and completely uncaring.

"Hi," Steve replies, his own smile soft and pleased and full of a silly affection. "Oh, hey, do you want to tell everyone tomorrow?"

"That we're soulmates?" Eddie asks.

"Yeah. I mean, you don't gotta let me hold your hand and stuff like I do with Robs, unless you want-"

"I want," Eddie cuts in, before Steve can say what else he does with Robin that he won't be doing with Eddie. "If you want, I mean. I don't know, I'm new at this soulmate stuff. I'm counting on you to be my Yoda here."

Steve wrinkles his nose. "That's the little green guy, right? Who talks in riddles?"

Eddie huffs out a little laugh, watches Steve's eyes crinkle in amusement for a moment before he responds. "You and Dustin had a secret handshake with a lightsaber battle and you're calling Yoda the little green guy who talks in riddles?"

Steve shrugs, the blankets shifting with the movement. "I call it like I see it. Little green riddle guy and the teddy bears."

Eddie groans, tipping his head away. "I can't look at you right now, man."

Steve bumps their shoulders together - and then does it again, and again, and again, until Eddie finally gives up the act and looks at him.

"How about we figure this out together?" Steve asks.

Oh.

"Yeah, I can do that," Eddie agrees. "Let's tell the hoard tomorrow."

—

They tell Robin first, the next morning.

Not that there's really much to tell. Once the rest of the party has absconded to the living room with breakfast and the three of them are alone in the kitchen, she immediately rounds on Steve and lifts up her shirt, pointing accusingly at I don't think you're clever written just below her belly button.

"Really, Steve?" she demands. "What, were you and Eddie missing a few with the demobat bites, so you just had to create some more to make up for it?"

…fuck, despite them talking about Robin half the time, Eddie had completely forgotten she was going to get those lies written on her, too. He swallows, trying to ignore how loudly his heart is beating.

She looks between them, though, and her demeanor softens.

"Oh," she says quietly.

The next thing Eddie knows, he's getting folded up into a hug with her and Steve - both of them are holding onto him so tightly that he can't really tell who's grabbing what part of him, that it honestly hurts a little, and he never wants it to stop.

"They've always meant something different to me," Eddie says, somehow able to admit that now that he's completely wrapped up in the two of them, when he couldn't say it directly to Steve last night.

"They're the only reason I knew I hadn't lost my soulmate before I told him I knew who he was," Robin replies, and oh, that must be her chin hooked over his shoulder.

"I told him," Steve says softly, voice muffled from somewhere in Eddie's hair. "About them being a lifeline."

They stay like that for longer than Eddie can keep track of - for longer than they probably should, with his and Steve's injuries, and with the rest of the party out in the living room.

Eventually, Robin pulls back to look at him, her eyes narrowed a little.

"You're mine now, too," she tells him. "You know that, right?"

Part of him wants to brush it off and say something about how he'd known for a while that she and Steve were a package deal, or make a joke about how possessive this weird little party is, but - the words die on his lips as he looks back and forth between her and Steve, sees the almost identical solemn expressions on their face.

"I, uh. Yeah, I'm working on getting that."

He is. He's working on believing all of them when they say that he's one of them - and when they show it to him, over and over.

Steve reaches out to both of them, taking one of their hands in each of his and lacing their fingers together, giving a brief squeeze before he lets go. "Ready?"

"No," Eddie grumbles. "But let's do this anyway."

He takes a deep breath, like he's fortifying himself, then follows Steve and Robin out into the living room.

"Are you guys done having your soulmate cry session?" Erica asks without even looking up from the mountain of syrup drenched French toast she's working on.

"Erica!" Lucas hisses.

"What?" Erica demands, looking up to point her fork between Steve and Eddie. "Did you want to wait for those two idiots to bluster around figuring out how to tell us, like we didn't already know?"

Mike - kind of looks like a fish, gaping at them, and Eddie doesn't manage to hide his somewhat hysterical giggle. "We didn't already know!"

Erica switches her gaze over to Mike, raising a very judgmental eyebrow. "That sounds like a Mike Wheeler problem."

"We didn't know," Lucas says. "We just kind of suspected after the whole 'oh yeah, Eddie used to talk to his soulmate like Steve and Robin did' thing."

Shit.

Okay, yeah, in hindsight he guesses Robin admitting to talking to her soulmate as well wasn't a cover at all now that he knows everyone knew about her and Steve's soulmate situation.

"He's also living in your house and wearing your clothes, Steve," Nancy points out.

"For almost a week," Dustin adds. "The only other people who've stayed over that long are me and Robin."

Steve sputters. "Because he's on the lam!"

Eddie smacks a hand over his own mouth so that hysterical giggle doesn't become semi hysterical laughter.

"On the lam?" Max scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Okay, he's been on the lam in your house, in your clothes, for almost a week. We weren't supposed to wonder?"

Steve groans. "Okay, fine, but I'd do it even if he wasn't my soulmate. You guys know that, right? That I'd do the same for any of you?" There's a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, that Eddie thinks he can only pick up because they've been in each other's space so much - like Steve honestly thinks there's a chance the rest of them don't know how much he's willing to do for them.

Erica tilts her head at him, watching Steve closely as she considers that. "Okay, then, I'll take your teal sweater."

There's a beat of silence.

"What?" Erica asks. "He may be a nerd and a dumbass, but at least he has decent fashion sense."

"I want the red sweater," Dustin announces.

"The blue and yellow striped polo!" Lucas chimes in.

"The gray jacket!" Max calls.

Robin bursts into laughter, sounding like it's erupting out of her after too long of holding it back, and Eddie refuses to look at her because if he does he's going to -

His eyes make contact with hers as she bends over, cackling, and nope, that's it, he's laughing too.

Max is whispering something in El's ear when he looks back over at them, making El light up a little before she says, "I would like the green plaid button up."

Which prompts Will to perk up, bumping her shoulder with his and going, "No, El, that's not fair, come on."

El gives him a tiny smile, something almost mischievous in her eyes. "If you get the purple one we can share them."

"Done," Will agrees.

"This was not an invitation for you shitheads to raid my closet!" Steve bitches, looking between them all like he isn't sure if he should be flattered or irritated, and mostly just coming across as that fond exasperation that Eddie already knows so well.

"Kind of sounds like it was, man," Argyle informs him, with Jonathan nodding solemnly in agreement.

Eddie's pretty sure they're both a little stoned, which is kind of impressive considering it's just past 10am, but who is he to judge?

"…I wouldn't turn down the blue Henley," Jonathan says after a moment.

Eddie sputters. "Uh-uh, nope, that one's mine, Byers, I've already been wearing it and everything."

"Not the dark blue one, the light blue one," Nancy puts in.

"No one gets any of his khakis!" Robin manages to get out in between giggles. "I already have dibs on those."

Dustin makes a face at her. "You have dibs on everything."

"Soulmate privileges," she replies matter-of-factly.

Steve is suspiciously silent. It doesn't seem like his input is actually needed at this point, considering all of them have worked themselves all up and are gleefully letting themselves get distracted with something that isn't the open gates or Upside Down creatures or the police, but Eddie glances at him out of the corner of his eye anyway. He looks bemused - like he can't quite figure out what's going on here, but he doesn't want to interrupt it.

"Mike, do you want to claim something?" El asks - almost politely, like she's just worried Mike hadn't gotten his turn.

Eddie's pretty sure if it was someone else asking that question, they'd get a full on Mike Wheeler scowl, but she just gets a little huff.

"Why would I want anything of Steve's?" Mike retorts.

Nancy makes this little noise of disagreement. "Mike doesn't need to claim anything, he already has-"

"Nancy!" Mike hisses, sounding horrified.

Max immediately pounces on that. "Oh my God, what is it?"

Mike scrambles up from his spot by Will and El, like he thinks he can just tackle Nancy and solve the problem. "Nancy don't!"

"Christmas sweater!" Nancy announces from where she's ducked behind Jonathan and Argyle, who look somewhat confused but perfectly pleased to be there.

"Christmas sweater?" Lucas repeats. "Wait, the reindeer one? That's Steve's?"

"You kept it?" Steve asks. His face is doing this smug, cocky grin, but Eddie can hear the faint note of surprise in his voice.

"Kept it? He wore it the last two Christmas breaks," Dustin retorts, somehow looking even more smug than Steve. "When did you even get it?"

"New Years 84," Mike grumbles, apparently resigned to the fact that he's not going to get at Nancy as he settles back in between El and Will. "Mom and Dad made us go to this stupid midnight celebration as a stupid family and it was stupid cold and no one told me it was going to be outside half the stupid time. Steve still had the stupid reindeer sweater even though it wasn't Christmas anymore-"

"The Christmas season lasts until New Years, everyone knows that," Steve cuts in.

Mike rolls his eyes so hard that it looks painful.

"It's okay to like Steve," El informs Mike. "We all do."

Mike turns red, which is expected. Steve's ears go pink, which - is not expected, but is both really fucking adorable and a little sad. Does he really not get how much these people like him?

Eddie'll have to talk to Robin to see how she's working on that, he thinks.

"I don't - that's not -" Mike stammers.

"Friends don't lie," El says seriously.

Or at least, it seems serious, until he catches the glint in her eye, realizes it looks remarkably similar to the one in Will's as he adds, "Yeah, Mike. Friends don't lie."

If Eddie didn't know better, he'd believe those two really were twins.

"I like the reindeer sweater," El adds, graciously giving Mike an out.

"How about this," Steve says. "If we all stop plotting to steal my clothes, El gets a reindeer sweater for Christmas this year and everyone gets a pool party when Eddie's out of the woods."

Eddie doesn't want to ask if Steve means when he's healed up enough for a pool party or when his name has been cleared. Instead, he goes for, "What if I want a Christmas sweater?"

Steve gives him this bitchy little look.

Unfortunately for Steve, Eddie just thinks it's cute.

"Fine, everyone gets a pool party and Christmas sweaters," Steve says. "Deal?"

The younger members of the party all look at each other.

"Deal," Erica says, at the same time as Mike goes, "Ugh, fine."

Steve rolls his eyes. "All right, what's the plan for the day?"

—

It becomes a routine over the next few days. The Harrington house seems to fall into a kind of headquarters for the party, and from after breakfast to after dinner, there's always at least a handful of them over.

Robin and Eddie put their feet down in unison over Steve attempting to sign himself up for the first patrol, and get him to agree to wait until his stitches are out by the combined forces of their glares. Steve sulks a bit, but settles for the less physically intensive shit like manning walkies, restocking their first aid kits, volunteering at the high school, and making sure everyone is fed. It makes it easier on Eddie, too, means he can help Steve in the kitchen or take his turn manning the walkies, distract the kids by talking D&D, keeps him from feeling useless.

Eddie won't admit it, but part of him is nervous about Robin finally being able to come stay over at Steve's. He'd told her he'd stay in the same room as Steve until she was able to, after all, and if she tells him to get his ass back over to the guest room, he will. Most of him doesn't really think she would - not since both she and Steve know about his nightmares - but it's, you know, a possibility. Especially because the only other option is for all of them to share Steve's bed, or one of them to sleep on the floor, and he just.

Well.

He can't sleep on the floor, not yet. He's not healed all the way.

If he's really honest with himself, he's nervous because he wants all three of them to share Steve's bed. He wants both of them close by, wants to be able to wake up and have them right there, and he feels guilty about it. With him there, there's no way Steve and Robin could get up to any kind of celebratory thank fuck we're alive activities.

Granted, he's not sure Steve's up for much of those activities, but from what he hears on the rumor mill, Steve's a pretty resourceful guy. Eddie's sure they could get up to something. They've disappeared into the bathroom together a couple of times, and he doesn't think they've been in there long enough for anything too heavy - not that he's got enough experience in anything to know, but still, they could -

No, fuck, that isn't the kind of thing he needs to think about for so, so many reasons, and he does his best to push all of that right out of his head.

There's no reason to be nervous.

When the others go home for the night, and it's just the three of them left helping each other climb up the stairs - it turns out there really isn't.

Eddie's leaning half on Robin, and she doesn't even hesitate as she turns to guide them both to Steve's room. Robin's up first in the bathroom, then Eddie, and when he comes out and Steve goes in - the bed's already been turned down, the pile of pillows he and Steve have been using arranged to better suit three people.

Robin's sprawled on one end of the bed, the opposite side that Steve likes. Eddie hadn't really thought about sleeping arrangements. The obvious configuration is to put Steve in the middle, but he knows Steve needs to be on the end, closest to the door and to the nail studded bat he's got under the bed. Which must mean -

"Come on," she says, scooting over a little.

Eddie swallows, wordlessly shuffling into bed and settling in the middle.

"You better not kick," Robin tells him.

And he's got a great comeback for that, really, he does, something about her elbows and his wounded guts, but he must take too long, because her expression goes more sober.

"You almost died, Eddie," she says softly. "You're going to be the PB&J in this sandwich for a while, until we can both get that image out of our heads."

"I, uh. I didn't know," he says, which sounds so dumb he can hardly believe it, but she at least seems to get what he's saying.

"Well, you do now," she tells him matter-of-factly. "Better get used to it."

Steve's soft humming grows a little louder as he comes out of the bathroom, climbing into bed on Eddie's other side.

There's more than enough room for all of them, but they're still so close, the three of them, and Eddie isn't sure if it's everything he's ever wanted or if it makes him want to run again.

Both.

"Light off or on?" Steve asks them.

Eddie glances at Robin, but she's looking at him, so he pulls in a breath and thinks about it for a moment. "Off," he says eventually.

Steve clicks off the lamp on his nightstand, then settles back down. None of them are touching, but both Steve and Robin are so close that he can almost feel them, and he wants - fuck he wants them closer. He feels kind of pathetic about it, partly because it goes against the image he's worked so hard to maintain and partly because he knows he can't ask for it. He's too afraid to ask for it, to be told no, that's weird, you're a grown man and you shouldn't want to cuddle with your soulmate and your soulmate's soulmate.

But then Steve reaches across him and takes Robin's hand, lacing their fingers together. Their joined hands rest on Eddie's chest, careful of where his injuries are, and Eddie - tries not to move, tries not to tremble, tries not to even breathe hard. Slowly, he lifts his own hand and settles it over theirs, fingers curling to hold on. Steve gives a contented little hum, and Robin echoes it on his other side, and Eddie -

Eddie closes his eyes against the sting of tears, sudden and shocking, sandwiched between the two people who've made him feel the safest he's been since Uncle Wayne. There's a thought there, lurking in the back of his mind, but he's asleep long before he can sort it out.

—

The next day, he's sitting at the kitchen table with Robin, watching Steve fry up some eggs and bacon, when it comes back to him.

"Are Mrs. Byers and Hopper the only Hawkins adults who know about all of this?" he asks.

Robin and Steve look at each other, and Robin shrugs.

"Technically, you and Steve are adults now, but yeah. Why?" Robin asks.

Eddie frowns. "Something Mike said. How Joyce left you guys here, and Nancy told him she wouldn't have done that if they weren't all safe."

There's another, longer look exchanged between Steve and Robin.

"The Byers house was listed for sale for a while before they moved," Steve says, a little reluctantly. "Their family's been through a lot. After Hopper - I think she just wanted out."

Eddie's mouth opens, closes as he thinks better of blurting out his initial reaction, then opens again. "So, she just - moved across the country, leaving the only ones who knew anything about what's been going on here as a bunch of high schoolers and one who only just graduated? Even though every time you guys had thought it was over in the past, it came back?"

Robin's flat, steely look tells him exactly what she thinks of Joyce Byers moving to California and leaving them all behind without her needing to say a damn thing. Steve looks like he's physically repressing himself from saying something bitchy, and turns all his focus back onto carefully flipping the eggs without breaking the yolks.

"Shit," Eddie says absently. "Can we tell my uncle? He might take a little convincing, but he won't freak out, and I can guarantee he won't ever leave us."

"I'm not going to object to another actual adult being in the know," Robin says, but she's looking over at Steve.

His jaw has tightened, and he moves the pan over to an unused burner and turns off the heat. Eddie bristles, ready to leap to his uncle's defense, but when he looks closer at Steve, he realizes he seems - nervous.

"We haven't signed any NDAs yet, this time," Robin says, voice gentle.

"And Eddie hasn't signed one at all," Steve says, a little slowly, like he's thinking carefully.

"I'm not scared of any government types, anyway," Eddie adds with a teasing little laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

It makes Robin grimace, though, and Steve scowl.

"It's not funny, man, you don't know what these guys are capable of," Steve says.

Eddie holds up his hands placatingly. "You're right, I don't. I shouldn't have laughed."

Steve relaxes a little, digging for some plates and dishing out the eggs and bacon. "Sorry. Nancy and I used to argue about it. She wasn't scared of them either."

He looks at Robin, who makes an encouraging little noise.

"My grandpa Otis fought in World War Two. He used to tell me stories, when I was little, and sometimes he'd talk about the Germans disappearing people. One time I told him it was a good thing we lived in America and our government wouldn't do that, and he just kind of smiled at me and said, that's what they say, isn't it?"

Eddie feels a little chill go up his spine.

"Benny Hammond didn't kill himself, and Bob Newby didn't have a heart attack," Robin says quietly. "Nancy and Jonathan got abducted from the park one day just for talking about telling Barb's parents the truth. The more people know about this, the more likely they are to die."

His mouth goes dry. Eddie knew them. Uncle Wayne was friends with Benny Hammond - used to go to the diner after a shift, and on his days off he'd take Eddie, let him sit up at the counter and eat a mountain of hashbrowns cooked almost black, just the way he liked them. Bob Newby never minded Eddie hanging around the RadioShack, gave him a great deal on his amp and helped him pick out his speakers.

"What happened?" he asks.

"They killed Benny because he knew too much," Steve says bluntly. "I don't think people know we know that, but I overheard Hopper talking about it. Bob Newby - demodogs, at the lab."

Eddie breathes out, curling his hands around his coffee mug as he considers. "I don't think I can keep it from him," he says finally. "We've gotta - I have to tell him something."

Steve and Robin look at each other again.

"Okay," Steve says. "It's your call, Eds."

The trust in that statement hits Eddie so hard that he has to close his eyes for a moment, swallowing roughly to get himself under control.

"We gotta do it quick, before they get their shit sorted and we get government agents waving stacks of paper in our faces again," Steve adds.

Eddie nods, opening his eyes so he can look at Steve and Robin. "Okay. How do we get me to him? I can't exactly just waltz into the school gym."

"It'll be easier to get your uncle here," Robin says. "Dustin's been talking to him a little when we volunteer at the school."

"We've been working on a plan," Steve agrees. "Figured we could tell him I want to donate some stuff, but it's too big to fit in my trunk, ask if he'd come to pick it up in his truck."

"Yeah, that'll probably work. Guy's got a heart bigger than anything, he won't be able to resist helping," Eddie says.

Steve shoots him a little smirk. "I'll tell him I know where you get it from, then."

"Do not!" Eddie demands, hiding behind his hair so Steve can't see him smile. "If you try to charm my uncle I'll never forgive you."

"What's the thing the green riddle guy says? There's no trying, only doing?"

"That's it, we're watching The Empire Strikes Back tonight, you get no choice," Eddie says.

Robin groans. "I hate you, Steve, how many times have the munchkins already made us watch that?"

She doesn't say no, though, and Eddie grins for a moment before something occurs to him.

"Wait, is Family Video even still open?" he asks.

"Not yet," Robin says. "It got a little damaged in the fall out. Keith says the owners are planning on opening back up when it's fixed, though."

Steve snorts.

"What?" Eddie asks.

"The idea of the owners actually fixing anything," Robin answers for him.

"They're probably just going to slap new paint over the cracks and call it good," Steve agrees. "But it's fine, I've got it here. The way the kids like to watch them, it was easier just to have their favorites on hand."

Right, Dustin'd said Steve had a VHS collection. Eddie'd kind of assumed that meant, like, Rocky and Top Gun and Rambo, maybe some ones like Romancing the Stone or the Shining for his dates. Past Eddie's really killing him with the assumptions, here, it makes way more sense that Steve'd drop VHS money on the kids.

"Which probably means I have most of your favorites, too," Steve adds with a little smug grin.

He should probably protest that implication that Eddie has the same favorite movies as the kids, but - it's probably not wrong, and really, Eddie's the one winning here if it means Steve's collection is to his taste.

So instead he shoves a forkful of bacon and eggs into his mouth, just so he can talk with his mouth full as he says, "So you'll take Dustin to the high school today to talk to my uncle?"

Steve and Robin pull near identical faces of disgust at him, and he grins at them.

"If you swallow your food before you say anything else, then yes, we'll make plans with your uncle today and watch Star Wars tonight," Robin says.

Eddie considers that for a moment, then nods and finishes chewing. "Deal."

Up next: Steddie grappling with the blurry line between platonic and romantic, and a Munson family reunion!

-----

Part 20

Tag list (always happy to add more!): @vampireinthesun @koibug @estrellami-1 @mentalcyborg @allbimyself26 @questionablequeeries @the-s-is-silent @whimsicalwitchm @a-gae-af-racoon @tinyplanet95 @n0-1-important @velocitytimes2 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @newtstabber @jcmadgirl @roblingoblin285 @lexyvey @paperbackribs @goodolefashionedloverboi @evix-syne666 @raisedbylibrarians @stxrcrossed186 @nightmareglitter @greekgeek24 @starman-jpg @crazyhatlady86 @imfinereallyy @manda-panda-monium @deleataecount @prideandsensibility @chaoticvictorianspirit @maydillydally @disrespectedgoatman @scarlet-malfoy @i-less-than-three-you @hbyrde36 @hallucinatedjosten @dragonsandgayships @arepaconchocolate @g4ys0n @novelnovella @bisexualdisastersworld @ghostofyourvampiregf @scarletyeager @pettrichore @nerd-and-nervous @hiimlevi @queenie-ofthe-void @cinnamon-mushroomabomination

[grungeprincess2]

Kurt Cobain Quotes

1. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.

2. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

3. Friends are nothing but a known enemy.

4. Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.

5. If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.

6. I am definitely a feminist. I'm f--king disgusted by the way women are still treated. It's 1993 and some people still think we're in 1950s. We need to make more progress. There needs to be more female musicians, more female artists, more female writers. Everything is dominated by f--king males and I'm sick of it!

7. Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art.

8. Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with with your self-esteem. They're no good at all.

9. We're so trendy we can't even escape ourselves.

10. I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male - or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you'll see what I mean.

11. I mean, I’m definitely gay in spirit, and I probably could be bisexual. But I’m married, and I’m more attracted to Courtney [Love] than I ever have been toward a person, so there’s no point in trying to sow my oats at this point. [Laughs] If I wouldn't have found Courtney, I probably would have carried on with a bisexual lifestyle.

12. Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there's been an Axl Rose. And it's just boring. It's totally boring to me.

13. I thought I would try to be gay for a while, but I'm just more sexually attracted to women. But I'm really glad that I found a few gay friends, because it totally saved me from becoming a monk or something.

14. If any of you, in any way, hate homosexuals, people of a different color or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone. Don’t come to our shows and don’t buy our records.

15. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.

16. The duty of youth is to challenge corruption.

17. We’re not as popular as everyone thinks, and we’re not as rich as everyone thinks.

18. There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.

19. Punk is musical freedom. It’s saying, doing, and playing what you want.

20. Words suck. I mean, everything has been said. Words aren’t as important as the energy derived from music, especially live.

21. I'm a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there's a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I'm just as confused as most people. I don't have the answers for anything.

22. Holding my baby is the best drug in the world.

23. No one is afraid of heights, they’re afraid of falling down. No one is afraid of saying I love you, they’re afraid of the answer.

24. I use bits and pieces of others’ personalities to form my own.

25. If you die you're completely happy and your soul somewhere lives on. I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got.

26. I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks. I just can’t believe it.

27. To be positive at all times is to ignore all that is important, sacred and valuable. To be negative at all times is to be threatened by ridiculousness and instant discredibility.

28. You can’t buy happiness.

30. Nobody dies a virgin. Life f***s us all.

31. Music is energy. A mood, atmosphere. Feeling.

33. If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

34. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f****** sad.

35. I have to admit I’ve found myself doing the same things that a lot of other rock stars do or are forced to do. Which is not being able to respond to mail, not being able to keep up on current music, and I’m pretty much locked away a lot. The outside world is pretty foreign to me.

36. I really miss being able to blend in with people.

37. It’s better to burn out than fade away.

38. God is gay

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 15

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

masterlist

cw: cursing, blood and hints to SA

…

“Please don't!” Another day.

“I'm begging you!” Another mission.

“I'll do anything, just don't kill me!” Another kill.

Every day was the same as the last, It was an endless cycle of pain I put many people through. The fact that I can hear and feel the life force just leaving their bodies makes me want to join them. 

How long has it been? Days, weeks, months? I felt older, but that maybe had something to do with me being back in the 50's, time travel took a massive toll on my overall health. I never want to do this again. But I don't think I'm leaving anytime soon because she would never let me, she thinks I do too much of a good job. 

The Handler says I'm a natural killer, she says that I'm purging the universe of all the things that could change the original pure timeline. The apocalypse is one of those “pure” things. I don't agree with her, but I feel my mind slipping into submission like it always has.

She says Five told her that since he and I have different missions to help their cause it would be too time-consuming to talk. I don't think I'd want to see him anyway, he put me here with the hope of a possibility. But I know I can't be away from him forever, we have to go back home by any means necessary.

I've gone on at least thirty missions.

“Oh! B/n come here!”

Thirty-one.

I quickly stood up from my seat in the library section of The Handler's office not wanting to upset the waiting woman any more than needed. She's especially cheery this morning, it makes me dread what mission she's about to put me on today. From what I've learned from eavesdropping, I'm too special to get assignments like a normal worker from a case worker, like Five. No, I have to get them straight from her.

“Why good morning! There's something important for you to do today. Something I cannot trust to any of these everyday chums here.” How is she laughing at the people she recruited and probably took away from their own homes? Just like she did to us. Her grasp on the assignment paper tightens as she narrows her eyes at me. “I'm sorry. Am I being boring?” Her cruel words break me out of my trance. 

“Of course not” I croaked out. “Continue.. please.”

Just like a switch was turned on in her head she went back to her somewhat lobotomized state. “Great. Your assignment is to find a Mr. Luca Palumbo in 1942 New York, wow aren't you lucky! Well of course you will need to eliminate him, but for timeline sake make it look like a hired kill.”

“That would help to stage the Palumbo and Amato family's hatred which also causes the flux of the Italian mob which also causes hundreds of other meant-to-be deaths.”

She made me sick with her twisted words and the false joy that was on her painted face every day. But I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to, my faint moral compass swayed more and more every day to just get shit done like I did when I was a kid. No one back at the academy had to know what I was doing, not even Klaus. Not even Five if I played my cards right.

Who am I kidding? I sound like an idiot. Of course, Five would know, he’d been through this exact thing and he’d come out.. as normal as possible. I need to get a grip. 

Her voice cut into my headspace once again. “So what do you say?” She grinned. We both already knew my answer, since I couldn’t oppose her. But she’s sadistic, she liked making it seem like I had an option. Like giving her prey a second to run before bolting after it.

I finally met her eyes and gave her the same answer I gave thirty other times. “Of course.”

..

The perfect cover story would be me posing as a hooker or a stripper but against The Handler’s suggestions, I decided I didn't need one. I'm not from this time and I don’t care about this mission enough to cover my ass. I made my way down the dark streets of Manhattan to hopefully get this over with quickly.

Luca owned a nightclub in the heart of the city, it wasn't too rancid which was a plus but an obvious front for illegal activities. I could feel someone’s eyes on me as I entered the building but I wasn't sure if it was from a woman wearing a suit or if he was on to me.

My plan was simple: corner him when least expected and kill him with a pistol similar to the one hidden in his pants right now. 

I took a seat in a velvety booth that was closest to the club stage. Aside from the half-naked dancers there was a plethora of men. But I wasn't here to kill them, I needed to find Luca. I let my eyes follow the crowds of gamblers whose voices were louder than the live band. It took a moment but from across the room I finally locked onto Luca. 

From what I was told I expected an old seasoned mob boss but from the back he looked as old as me. I could only get a closer look at him when a pretty blonde dancer passed his way, making him turn around. 

He was a brunette with a slick hairdo and a small mustache. He nursed the cigarette between his smirking lips as she passed. With a ring-covered hand, he beckoned her back over, she looked hopeful and ready to answer any question but he never said anything. Instead, he grabbed onto her body and smacked her ass, while laughing about it with his friends. If that was me, I would've taken that hand off clean but she had to stand there and take it, it was her boss after all.

I remember being that helpless back when I was trying to find my way after the academy. The situation made me wither in anger. I wanted this man dead more than ever, disgusting scums like him don’t deserve to live. My grip on the table in front of me was tight and the ringing in my ears felt like a teapot ready to boil. 

I regained composure and watched on as he engaged in conversation with the other mob bosses. He had to do something else other than poker, I'm sure it's been hours by now. As I waited for him to get along I started to think. 

Eat, sleep, and control others, that's all these kinds of people do and nothing will ever change, the powerful stay the powerful unless there’s something we can do about it. 

Something I can do about it.

Something I can do about The Handler. 

Life would go back to what it was if The Handler was gone, no matter how fucked up it was I had finally gotten control back of myself.

But what could I do? Of course, she’d probably be an easy kill but I have no doubt she'd haunt my everlasting memory forever. Everything she said about me is exactly correct no matter how much I wish it wasn’t. I don’t like killing, it scares me and so do my powers but you have to do what you don’t like to survive. My mom taught me that.

I chuckled at myself, it's always mother-like daughter. She survived in a different country by tolerating a man who married her for some strange fetish but never retaliated against him. It had confused me a lot as a child, but when I became a teenager I started to resent her and maybe I still do. But I realize, just like that dancer, some people are just surviving, they are forced to take the poor hand dealt to them and try to make something better of it.

Until scum try to drain them of everything their worth. It’s a constant cycle, which leads me back to this guy. Luca Palumbo, the guy I was sent to kill. The guy was currently on the move toward a back door, which I wouldn't have seen if I didn't quickly snap into action.

He was walking at a fast pace for a person just heading to a different room, maybe he’d spotted someone he owed money to or maybe he’d spotted me.. 

I followed his faint figure through the strobe-lit hall, at this point I had no clue where he was going. I turned my head to make sure no one was behind me but the only thing I saw was an empty hallway. 

Luca took a sharp turn to the left, into a room that faintly looked like a storage closet and quickly faded into the dark room. Warning signs seemed to just flash in my brain but I kept going anyway, he had to be on to me. I quietly entered the room behind him but it was too dark to tell where he was. At times like these, I wish I had x-ray vision.

The only sign of where he was was when he slammed the door shut behind me, locking him and me inside the storage closet. He then took a few steps closer to me. I could tell he was trying to intimidate me. Jokes on him the only thing that scares me is my childhood trauma.

“Now I'm gonna make this quick, Sally is waiting for me. I saw your eyes on me for hours but not in the way most people's eyes drift. And then you followed me here. So what do you want?” His transatlantic accent rang in my head, it was like right out of a TV.

Questions were swirling in my head, but I knew I was here for a purpose. I'd never talked to my kills before so I didn't plan on starting now. But against my better judgment, I opened my mouth. “Who’s Sally?” I asked.

“Why, she's the newbie floozy you were also eyeing before. You're not jealous are you?” His audacity was astonishing, here I am trying to kill him and he thinks I'm a secret admirer or something. How thick can one man be?

I was fuming from the way he started talking about this girl. I couldn’t even hear it anymore and it was obvious by my heaving breathing. I've seen countless idiots and killed them for less of a reason, there had to be a reason why this one was making me so upset.

“I'm gonna turn on the light and we can solve this, alright?” He laughed. “If you wanted me you could’ve just said it. I don’t bite.”

The light illuminated the room making it easier to see his smug face. “You're not too bad yourself. Would you like to work here?” So can I be assaulted? No, thank you.

He was prodding at me, trying to rile me up; it was like he reveled in my piercing eyes and balled-up fist. But they weren't for him, they were for this stupid uniform, the suit limited my mobility because it was too small even though it was my exact measurements. I wanted to burn the horrid thing but I settled for just taking it off. 

“Starting the show a little early, no? Not that I'm complaining.” Luca goes and tries to grab onto me but before he’s able to get my shirt off I punch him in the face, sending him flying. His back hits the door and he slides down with a groan. “What the hell?” He shouts.

He gets up in a frenzy reaching for the gun at his waistline, wasting no time firing it right into my shoulder. It didn't hurt, they never did. The fucker couldn’t even fire correctly and the worst part was that it didn't even go through me. That shit was lodged into my shoulder.

I laughed at him, before reaching into my shoulder with the side of my face and pulling the bullet out with my teeth. It was a long and grimey experience but I was proving a point. Once I grabbed onto it I spit it back out at his dress shoes and watched his face turn into horror. 

“Crazy bitch!” He shrieked, accent dropped. I knew it was fake.

He panicked and reached out for the door handle but he never escaped the room. I waited for a second before acting.

Then I became a different person. I just kept punching, quick and hard right into his pretty face. I let out a slur of noncohesive words and rambles. “You're the worst kind of person on the planet!” I yelled in his messed-up face. 

“All you do is take!”

Punch

“You take from me, you take from Sally, you take from everyone you steal money from!”

Punch

“Then you try to seal me away and control me. You're just as bad as her!”

Punch

“You deserve nothing.” 

Punch

“Why am I the one who has to hurt?”

Punch

“What did I do? While you sit there on your high fucking horse.”

At this point my hand is strikingly red with his blood and so is his face. I got that same teapot ringing in my ears, I could feel every cell in his body. It’d take me only one action to crush all of them. 

Right here right now, and then he’d combust into a pool of his cancerous blood. That would be the only way I make sure when I leave he doesn't get up again. That he can't make children who have to deal with a shitty father, just like I did.

Looking at the bullet on the floor made me remember why I was there. I had a mission, even if I was too blind to see it at the moment. I stretched before grabbing my similar gun not caring if my prints were all over it. I was done with this situation.

And as he tried to crawl to the door I shot him. One for his disgusting remarks, two for his awful behavior and ten for fun. Right in the back, just like one of his cowardly friends would do. 

I rid myself of the gun and wipe my bloody hands on my shirt. Lastly, I grabbed my jacket and stepped around his body, ridding myself of this situation. I did what he couldn’t leave the room just like I could leave The Handler's box she placed me in. It was time to do something about the commission.

I needed to talk to Five. 

It was time to leave.

..

I walked in the rain with the briefcase in my hand that was given to me by the commission. I originally hoped when I stashed it under the velvet booth it would be stolen so I wouldn't have to go back. 

As quickly as I turned angry I turned back to the sad, sorry self I've always been. I sniffled and reacted for the briefcase to go back to headquarters. Being already familiar with it, I just let my hands do the work and silently sobbed.

I wish I still had my therapist, then maybe I could uncover why I'm so angry. And why I let it build up to the point where my outbursts are well.. deadly. I can't blame anyone else for that, it's just a me thing. 

When I got back to the commission and had calmed down in the bathroom I stalked the hallways. All I needed to find was a little boy in shorts and then I'd spot him. It was hard though with the bustle of people, it must’ve been lunchtime.

I’ve never been one to the mess hall because I don't want to interact with other workers and I don't really eat.. Knowing Five he wouldn't want to eat with them either so he must be somewhere around here.

Using my knowledge of the place I walked over to where the case managers resided during working hours. But I stared at the floor as I walked. Not noticing the tiny steps walking out of the office, we collided for a quick second before we noticed who each other were.

It was Five, in all his tiny glory. Adored in the same fitted suit I was in but less wet and bloody. He looked just the same as when we were brought here but his hair was a bit longer and he looked more agitated.

He stared at me with his eyes wide. “Y/n” he whispered. I could almost cry again at his words. After not seeing him for months I missed the little shithead. “You look…”

I giggled and looked at my feet. “I know it's not my best outfit, I know. Trust me the water wasn't planned for.” My only coping mechanism has always been jokes.

Five was at a loss for words, I thought he was going to reply with something equally as snarky. He sighed. “I'm so sorry.”

I felt a bit angry actually, after all these months of torment. “Well, Five I think we're a little above sorry. Don’t you think so?” He had no response. “I mean you put me here and then don't talk to me for months. And after this, you get what, a body replacement? What do I get? except for more kills on my belt?” I rambled all the thoughts I'd been dying to ask someone with an actual mind in their head.

“It could’ve been anyone else Five.” I shook my head. “Even The Handler said you didn't want to talk to me.”

“And you believed her?” He finally spoke up.

“What else was I supposed to believe?” I furrowed my brows. “This is your palace. I've never been here before. It was just like when I was thrown into the academy. God.”

“…” 

“Look, if that's all you have to say. I'm gonna go get cleaned up.” I looked away back towards The Handler's office. I know Fives never was the best at expressing himself but I guess I expected more from him.

Five clears his throat. “Wait. I have a plan okay? I know I messed up. It was selfish to bring you but I need you to trust me when I say that I'm trying to do the best for us. Just come with me.”

We stared at each other again. “Okay,” I replied. “I do believe you, and I know you’ve spent your whole life trying to get back to us. I just wish that I wasn't dragged in during the process.”

He gives me a somewhat smile. “Whatever we do now, we do it together.”

“I can live with that.”

..

Five led us into the room that held all the field assignments, a room I’d never been in after we listened in on a conversation between Dot and the woman who ran it, Gloria.  They were talking about how the Handler knows Five is up to something. And that Gloria needs to send a letter to warn Hazel and Cha-Cha.

But before she could send it we made it to her first. The boy blipped us into the room and then stapled her in the back of the neck. Which caused her to drop to the floor cold. I gave him a weird look for his choice of weaponry but he only grinned.

While I was on the lookout he grabbed the message and rewrote what it said. At first, it said “Reassignment: protect Harold Jenkins” and now Five wrote for them to assassinate each other. Which was smart thinking.

We both entered in one letter for both of the workers and watched them go down the shoots. It was finally done now we just needed to get a briefc—-

“You both know that's not how we do things around here.” A familiar voice cut in. I turned to look at The Handler with dread, it was truly over now. We’re never leaving 

“Where’s Gloria?” She asked.

Five respond for us. “I don’t know we couldn’t find her anywhere.” Which could’ve been a great lie if Gloria didn't groan in pain from where I put her behind the desk. The Handler turned slowly to her hurting form as Five gave me a look that meant get ready for anything.

She looked repulsed at us but only her words pierced me in the heart. “You’re a great disappointment to me B/n. To be here with him, after I asked you not to. It makes no sense.” I could tell Five was confused by whoever’s name she just called out. But I know what she meant.

Then she turned her sights on him. “You can't change what's to come, Five. I truly find it so odd that you can shed this little fantasy. You're a first-rate pragmatist.” She raises her voice. “You two belong here with us.”

“In a few days thanks to you, we won’t belong anywhere.” He exclaims.

My gaze deepens at The Handler, “why would we want to stay here? You turned us into killers.”

She laughs at me. “Oh please, you two have always been killers. Especially you, do I need to bring up your count over the years?” She reaches down to unzip the leg proportion of her sleek dress. Revealing a pistol which she points at us. “I just pointed you in the right direction. Don’t forget about how you started. You both came from nothing!”

“You’d still be with your boring parents if not for your powers. So use them!”

My initial reaction was to shield Five from bullets or jump at the woman and kill her, but Five had other plans. He grabbed me and blipped us away behind one of the machines in the room. The whole area went into shock, someone must’ve pulled the alarm because there was a blaring sound and a whole lot of movement outside. 

The Handler never stopped shooting at us as we blipped around the room.

“What’s the rush?” She calls out. “We’re just getting started.”

As we hid she growled restless and started doing anything she could to manipulate us one last time. “Is that how you want the last line of your report card to read?”

Five whispered at me to trust him, I was confused for a second until he blipped me next to Gloria's desk and himself in front of the crazy woman. He started to egg her on. “When I'm done, I'm done, I guess.”

Her creepy smile returns to her pale face. “You can't keep this up forever, Five. We both know you have a limit. And carrying two people has to hurt a bit more right? I saved you from a lifetime of being unhappy.” She bares her teeth at him. “You owe me.” 

“Speaking of which, where is the flower?” She fakes a loving attitude as she looks around the room for me. I quickly dive under Glorida’s desk.

When she turns back around to give him one last snarky comment, I finally understand what he wants me to do. I leap out with one last satisfactory glance at him. And I grab a book from the table and smack The Handler over the head with all my might.

Thankfully it's before she could even fire the gun at him. I let out a huge sigh of relief when she fell to the ground. Five walks over to me, stepping on her long body as he does.

He looks at me. “I did owe a debt but it wasn’t to her. Come on, I owe you one.” 

“Five! That was so sweet! I could melt right now” I gushed.

“Well now I shouldn’t have said anything and I should just leave you here, ew.” We laugh at our win.

But he still drags me along down the halls towards the briefcase room with him anyway. As he rigs us a new briefcase because I forgot where I had placed the one I came back here with I watch the commotion. People running like they are headless chickens everywhere, and thankfully no Handler.

Five throws a grenade into the briefcase room and we duck for cover. “Where the hell did you get that?” I laughed.

“You don't wanna know.” He smiles.

With one last glance, we opened up the briefcase and let the blue sparks engulf us.

“Goodbye, Commission. I hope I never see you again!” I yelled at all the destruction. 

..

What’s left of The Umbrella Academy is stationed in the living room, having a discussion they had just had before..

“Hold the phone.” Klaus groans out. “We all died fighting this thing the first time around, right?” 

Diego calls out from behind the bar. “Klaus, shockingly, has a point. What gives us a win this time,”

Luther has no time to respond, even if he did it wouldn't have been heard over the crackling of electricity. Blue flashing lights take up the ceiling of the living room and two people and a black briefcase come trickling out of the sky.

Everyone runs back in fear.

“Je- Jesus!” Alison shouts while covering her head.

They all take a minute to see what actually fell onto the bar table. A sight they’ve seen before.

“You guys, am I still high or do you see them, too?” Klaus asks.

..

We both landed on the uncomfortable bar table. I could feel my head spinning from time travel, I needed to throw up. “What the hell? You said the landing would be okay this time” I yelled at him. I raised my head to see all of the questioning faces. “Oh hey, guys” I slurred out.

Luther is the first to respond. “Where the hell have you guys been?” Five is unresponsive because he’s too busy, rolling off the counter onto the floor. 

Everyone rushes to the falling boy and they start pumping him with questions. 

“Are you alright?” Allison says.

“Who did this?” Luther asks.

“What are you two wearing?” Klaus remarks

Five finally gets back up onto his feet, not before stealing the cup of coffee in Allison’s hand and walking a few steps away from everyone. “All irrelevant.”

Then they all turn to me. “It’s a long story.” I shrugged. One that was too scarring to tell.

The boy gulps down the entire full cup of coffee. I finally peered down at my clothes, we were covered in ash from the grenade and I was still soaked.

“So, the apocalypse is in three days.” Five began to speak. “The only chance we have to save our world is, well, us.’

“The Umbrella Academy” Luther mumbles. 

“Yeah, but with me, obviously. So if y’all don't get your sideshow acts together and get over yourselves, we're screwed. Who cares if Dad messed us up? Are we gonna let that define us? No.”

Everyone including myself shares his sentiment and we all shake our heads no.

“And to give us a fighting chance to see next week. I've come back with a lead. I know who’s responsible for the apocalypse.” Five hands them the paper we found earlier.

“This is who we have to stop,” I added. 

Allison opens the paper and the boys all look over her shoulder. “Harold Jenkins?” She tried out the name, it sounded weird to me too at first. Like it was fake.

“Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?” Diego belted out 

Five and I share one last of our little looks. We needed to prepare for the road ahead, but there was one last thing I had to do..

…

hey sorry for the big gap between chapters, i keep all my info on my phone about this book and it just broke. This is me on a temp phone for now!

Taglist:

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@miscrying

@gabriella-aesthetic

@dakotapaigelove

@solarbeanz

@theoriginalone1111

@water-hemlock18

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[matchalovertrait]

Dulce is starting to feel overwhelmed! Is the pressure to win getting to her? Or is it something else...? We won't be finding out in the next segment.

Previous / Next (Transcript under the cut)

(1.) [Carlo] Tsk, tsk. They should have thought more outside the box. Also, Dulce really has to watch the time. Andrea, please check on the contestants.

(2.) [Andrea] How is everything, Chef Dulce?

[Dulce] Ehh, I'm not entirely happy with the flavor and spice, so I think I'll add some red chiles too.

(3.) I have to push through and make it to the dessert round. I think once I get there, the title of Diced Junior Champion is mine since I'm a baker's daughter.

(4.) [Alex] Hi, Andrea. Sorry, I can't really talk right now. Gotta focus.

[Andrea] Oh, okay-

(5.) [Alex] I hope she didn't find that rude. Like I said, I like Andrea. Carlo is kind of getting on my nerves, though. You're worried about time but also want us to stop and chitchat for a while? Let me work, man.

(6.) [Andrea] How's your progress, Rubiya?

[Rubiya] The jicama isn't really cooperating with me right now... but everything else is good!

(7.) [Rubiya] It'd be life-changing for me if I won. I could use that money for culinary school. There's always the regional spelling bees that I'll try in the future, but nothing is ever guaranteed in life. Take every chance you get.

(8.) [Alex] If I won, I would donate the money to the ALS Association. My grandpa in Henford-on-Bagley recently passed away from ALS complications. He was a nice man. He would take me around his farm, and he even gave some goats to my parents.

(9.) [Alex] That's why I know how to raise goats and cook the meat... hey! I guess Lewis and I aren't that much different. We know a thing or two about the farm life.

(10.) [Dulce] If I won, I would give most of the money to my mom for our bakery. There were some people who... took advantage of certain things, so the bakery suffered for a long time. Everything is okay now, but not exactly like how it used to be.

(11.) [Alex] Dang, I almost forgot about my jicama! I have to still spiralize it too.

(12.) [Mia] Wow, I've never seen such concentration from young chefs before. They are fully immersed.

[Sofia] Bring me back as a judge next season! I'll be recording a deluxe version of my album, but I'll make time.

(13.) [Dulce] Done dicing and chopping everything! I'll add everything to the pot and put back the extra things in the fridge.

(14.) [Rubiya] What a beautiful color.

(15.) [Dulce] Excu-

[Alex] Oh crud-

(16.) [Alex] Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?

[Dulce] Oh, um-

(17.) [Alex] Dulce? Are you okay?

[Dulce] Yeah, yeah, just a little embarrassed.

[Alex] Here, let me help you clean up.

(18.) [Andrea's Voiceover] Meanwhile, Rubiya is focused on her dish, as she should be!

[Rubiya] Hmmmm... is there anything else I can add?

(19.) [Alex] Are you sure you're okay?

[Dulce] Yeah, don't worry about it, but I have to go check on my soup! Hopefully it's about done, I left it simmering.

(20.) [Sofia] Good thing everyone is okay!

[Mia] Chefs, you guys have 5 minutes left on the clock! Please start plating soon.

[balkanradfem]

The garden cleanup

I've decided to tackle the stuff thats immediately important first! Since the kale is in its peak, I'm cleaning that up, not that it seems bothered, but it's nice to have something visibly thriving in the garden.

Things are already looking better, and this just took 15 minutes!

While I was carefully pulling the weeds up, I discovered something unexpected; onions. I have tried to grow onions from seed this year, and a few of them made it to the garden, then one day I couldn't find them anymore, and I concluded they failed or got eaten by slugs. But the reality was that I forgot where I planted them and they got overgrown by grass. Three have survived!

They made these small bulbs that you're supposed to plant in order to get big onion heads, but since they're supposed to be planted in the fall, and it's fall now, I'm just gonna leave them in, hopefully they turn into big onions by summer. I won't harvest these because I hope they could grow to seed and then give me more onion seeds. Onion seeds lose germination rate fast so I need new ones.

Next thing is this leek! I could harvest and eat it, but I would prefer to let it grow another year, and then it could give me lots of leek seeds, which I need by now, my seeds are old and losing germination rate.

This one was easy too, it took me 5 minutes to get it clean.

Now I want to tackle the strawberries; this specific spot on the picture was supposed to feature monthly strawberries, or 'magic strawberries' which is a variety that will grow strawberries every month. But the problem is, I planted them next to my 'normal strawberries', and the normal ones are much more aggressive and clone themselves rapidly, so they started suffocating my magic strawberries. I wasn't paying attention, I just assumed things are fine.

I can recognize the magic strawberries by the fact that they're almost always in bloom! So I pulled out the weeds, and all strawberry plants that don't have little flowers, and I ended up – with just three plants.

But that's okay! These three if left in clean soil, will let out shoots and clone themselves, I just need to make sure the normal strawberries don't suffocate them. Look at them trying to make strawberries in october, bless!

Onto the normal strawberries!

So the problem with weeding strawberries is that you incredibly easily pull out the strawberries together with the weeds; their root system is so shallow and barely holding onto the ground, they get pulled up if you accidentally pull on one single leaf. And they come out with full root system and everything. But, if you've pulled out a strawberry plant with a root, that's actually how you transplant strawberries. So you can go 'this was totally on purpose, I meant to move that one over there' and you put it over there, and have it all figured out. But often you don't even transplant it because strawberries are so aggressive you constantly have to pull them out of the garden. It was one of my big shocks just how much time I would spend pulling strawberry plants out of the ground!

This is, in my opinion, enough strawberry plants for the entire bed; after the winter there's going to be 50 plants in there, they're gonna clone themselves and crowd the place, heaven can't stop them. And its to their own detriment! Strawberry bushes that are far apart produce bigger strawberries because they can get more nutrients from the ground!

At this point it's been two hours, I've started feeling tired, all of my pain is acting up, and do I need to burn myself out on this fine day? No. This can be done in little increments whenever, since there's very little daytime, the weeds won't grow fast, I don't need to worry about my work getting undone until April. I managed to find some parsley, which I have no clue how it got there, since I didn't plant it in that spot, I found some little potatoes that can be great seed potatoes in the spring, and the garden is looking more maintained, even with just a few hours of work.