#but it's just lonely... so lonely I'm oversharing for fun

[subalpinestag]

since I am unable to wake up any time before my Have To Get Up Alarm (1 pm) essentially any free time I get in a day is anything I get in before I fall asleep for bed

except for a while I've been way too sleepy and falling asleep around 12 or 1am.. which feels miserable since I wasted all my free time! so I've been slowly working my wakefulness back up to that nice 7am schedule I had for a while

except I forgot how lonely it is at night :(

[stacydenovo]

does it ever hit you that you're never going to mean as much to the people you meet as they do to you or are you normal <3

[hurtspideyparker]

Randomly saw you're writing something angsty in the Stony Tag, then checked out your AO3 to see I've already read your Peter & the Hammer fic! That was such a fun read!! Hope you're doing good, best wishes!

omg that's so lovely thank you for telling me :'D <3 irondad and stony fans have my heart 💖 I do have one angsty stony fic on my ao3 rn it's just under my pseudonym sorryimalover, just to keep the ship fics and irondad separate hehe. plus some short stuff on my tumblr !

but since I teased you a bit (and I'm an oversharer) I'll tell you the plot of my wip: Tony is finally ready to get married to Pepper after many stressful years of on-again off-again. They've been steady for 2 years, since the Avengers disbanded and Tony stopped being Iron Man. There's only one problem.

Tony's already married.

And then the story goes back in time and recounts Steve and Tony's love story over the years and how they came to be married. Tony constantly goes between dating Pepper and being fwb with Steve. If he's off with one, he's on with the other. Pepper can't handle Tony risking his life constantly, Steve has to hide his feelings for someone who keeps picking him up when he's lonely and putting him back when Pepper changes her mind again, and Tony has to come to terms with the very real feelings he's been collecting for a certain super soldier as the lines of their strictly sex arrangement become blurred over the years.

Tony has to use the flip phone for the first time since civil war to ask for a divorce, but it brings up a lot of history and old love Tony thought he got rid of. (ends with happy stony 🥰)

[unkur]

Just me reflecting on the past 12 months

I think that today (04.12.2024) is my one year anniversary of being a part of the DCA fandom. And holy shit, a lot has happened.

(CW: Rambling, not written with much effort, perhaps a little bit oversharing, suicidal thoughts mentioned)

I've been a fan of robots, aliens and monsters for the longest time. So one day I was scrolling through AO3, looking for some random stories, from random fandoms that I know nothing about. Because I wasn't really that big of a fan if anything at that moment. I just wanted to read about robots.

I avoided FNAF fanfictions for like a month. I was a part of the fandom back when I was like 11 years old. And I didn't wanna return. But there were quite a few stories. And I also noticed the so called "Daycare Attendant". Idk what it was, but something just had me interested in them. So I gave in.

Like with every other fic that I read, I googled what the robot looks like. My first reaction was something like "What the fuck is that? Why does it look like that?".

But something just pulled me towards them. And I fell into a rabbit hole. I hope it never ends.

Tomorrow one year ago (on the fifth), was my last day at a workplace. I was there for exactly two months and it fucked up my mental health really bad. I've had depression before working there, but this made it all just worse.

Around the same time, maybe a few weeks later, I discovered the best fanfic that I've ever read.

I decided to join the server some time later, because I needed art about the characters, and I needed some drabbles to read.

I just wanted to be a lurker, but people talked to me when I joined. So I responded. I talked and tried to make friends. I tried it for months. But making friends is just something that I'm horrible at. And it hurt. My depression got worse, but I still tried. Until I couldn't handle it anymore and went silent. Being lonely in a room full of people just hurts so much more than just being alone.

So, instead of trying to make friends out of real people, I went back to my imaginary ones. They have always been there and will always be there, as long as I want to keep them. They are my main reason for happiness. I love them. They have rolls. My two best friends are the beast and the jester (Like robots, I have liked jesters and clowns for a long time. Before I knew anything about the DCA). Then there's the king, the robot and two others that I'm not sure what they are yet (One of them might be the priestess though, or the demon?). I take up the roll of the knight.

I was doing terrible. Stopped taking care of myself. Until I realized I had to do something against it.

I read a DCA fic where they were part of a self care app. That's how I realized I could just download one of those. And it helped! It helped really really well. Not only did I take care of myself. I started to go on walks almost every single day. I explored the forest and the mountain. Went down small roads and paths I have never been on. And when I saw a bench, I sat down on and wrote. I wrote almost every day, until I finally got a job again. After six god damn months.

The book, which is my second book btw, has recently reached novel lenght!

That new work place healed my depression in a span of a few weeks. I went from suicidal thoughts every day to only occasionally a few times a week, to only once a week! The people are nice, the work is fun, its a safe place for people with mental illness, disorders, physical disabilities etc. The only downside is that I don't get paid. But at least I don't have to be scared of my life anymore, I guess that's enough.

So yeah, that's it I guess.

[sincerelyyoursg]

hello my dear gaby ♡♡♡ first of all congratulations on your milestone!!! 101 people following you? icon behaviour. YOU DESERVE IT ♡ may i participate in the celebration please??

the spilled ink - tell me a little bit about yourself, choose fandom and preference for gender and I'll give you a soulmate

i choose 911 fandom and my preference gender is male! now with the describing about myself, buckled up! (OMG I JUST REALISED BUCKled up AS IN BUCKLEY JUST ONE LETTER MISS?? OK SORRY)

I perhaps had done some oversharing (a little more than) a bit here 😬

alright so i'm ambitious, goal oriented person, i am not scared to stand up for myself and others. i've been the "leader" type since I was little, so i can be assertive and decisive.

even though sometimes, i come across as someone who's nonchalant, but truth to be told my friend even said that, i care too much about others that i sometimes forget to take care of myself. i always want crave and seek for other's validation.

i tried my best to be independent, as i don't want to burden other, but my other friend pointed out that i usually go for guys that gives "protector" vibes haha.

i tend to overthink by loads. when it comes to those people who i care deeply for, i tried my best to show it [with my own way]. i love to make handmade gift [to make it more precious, and alter it to their liking] writing pages of letter for them.

it's because people think that I'm so independent and can "protect myself" {hell even i protect others as much as i can} people tend to leave me be, because i'm getting used to it but sometimes i feel like i am lonely, despite having bunch of friend. deep down, let's say i am down, i love when people come over me and try to soothe or calm me down. in reality, people tend to let the emotions take over me and leave me be. look i don't even blame them, i know that they try their best to respect my boundaries and don't want to disturb me. but the majority of time, i can not help but wanting people being all soft to me when i'm feeling not the best

and, last but not least, i am scared of cat. so much so, i am terrified by it.

SO THAT WAS MY DEFINITION OF "LITTLE BIT" 😁 but hey idk why but I feel like you are my friend. I forgot the name of the event but I accidentally mush the two over into one (oh no I broke the rules unintentionally but hey)

i had so much fun! I feel like you know me as a whole now. thank you for making me feel comfortable here. can not wait to see your answe, love ♡

🥀 anon

{yes i assign myself as the 🥀 anon because i am planning to hop in here frequently <3}

thank u for joining babe, you're so sweet!

your soulmate is...

Evan Buckley!

The moment he saw you, Evan Buckley wanted to protect you. You always represented yourself as independent, the one who took care of themselves. You were so good to him, and when was the last times someone was good back? He tried everything, all to make you see that he's in love with you. You did see, but refused to acknowledge him. Maybe it was to keep him safe, or to keep yourself safe. He, on the other hand, didn't care about his safety and went for all. And let me tell you, you stopped hiding.

[beautifulhigh]

20 Questions aka. Oversharing on the Internet version 92840938. Plus one?

Thank you for for tagging me @welcometololaland. Even though I suck at tag games and answering asks...

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

77.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

952,168. Pretty sure the next fic is going to top the million mark when (if) it finally goes up.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment? 911: Lone Star & Red White and Royal Blue

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Every nation ought to have a right to provide for its own happiness (RWRB). My newest fic and clearly posted at the right time to ride the wave!

Tell all the truth but tell it slant, Success in circuit lies (Lone Star) My post-Sadie fic. I really liked getting to play about with the narrative structure in this one

The tender things are those we fold away (Lone Star) Only Fans fic, my beloved.

But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep (Lone Star) My first Tarlos fic. Written before Gwyn's sudden death and she had a starring role at the start of it. And then I did something similar with Gabriel for my last one. I swear I will never heavily feature any recurring character again.

Want (Emmerdale) Come back to the Dales, Hawley you coward.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to 99% of them - hard to come up with a response to a comment that you know someone just cuts and pastes onto all fics they read. (I am grateful for all comments but still...) You took the time to read and leave me a comment, I'm going to acknowledge that.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to go with Rumours (Emmerdale) for this. Because while they both die at the end (no reference intended to the book!) there is a whole life for Aaron and Robert before that moment comes.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I think most of them? It's all varying degrees of happiness because it depends what has happened to them in the meantime. But it all comes out in the wash.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I once wrote a fic in which I had characters explain why they couldn't take a particular course of action, and I had comments like "this is stupid, why don't they just do x?" which says more about their lack of reading skills. Other than that, not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but it's more about the feels than the actions.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I've never written one, simply because it feels a little too much like crossing the streams. Unless they are canonically in the same 'verse my muse refuses to even consider it. She's a sucker for rules like that.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone translated a Glee fic of mine into Russian (I think? It was a cyrillic language, I remember that) but I am always open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I did a dual narrative fic once and that was great fun.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose between my babies. I can't.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a Tarlos WiP and a Firstprince WiP and I want to finish them both.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I plan. I have pages and pages of planning and research and scribbled lines of dialogue and prose. I know exactly where I'm going with my stories and so the ending always pulls together the strands in the story. There are always hints and clues as to where I'm going, you just gotta pay attention.

(It's OK if you don't. It's rare someone comments on what is supposed to be a throwaway line and wonder why it's in there. Hint: it's because it's not throwaway.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

More of a weakness for me I think - but consistency. I am a feast or famine writer. I knock out a fic in a week (Only Fans) or I have to drag it kicking and screaming from its coccoon of bedsheets (bank fic)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If I need to do it then I am putting out pleas on Tumblr for a native speaker to translate the line for me

19. First fandom you wrote for?

"...I plead the 5th."

^ what she said

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Don't make me choose between my babies.

I am super later to this so open tag!

[queerofdenial]

have fun (that is if you actually do this 🤨):

molly cobb

ava daniels

kathryn janeway

judith jones

bestie i hope you have a warm pillow tonight bc having to "least favorite" any of these blorbos hurts

questions are:

favorite thing about them

least favorite thing

brOTP

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate with them

"here’s to selfish pricks, ‘cause we move the ball forward for mankind."

she's wholly uncompromising about who she is and what shes capable of, but still takes criticism and grows as a person! her confidence and ego are 100% earned and never feel like a Strong Woman Schtick

she had to keep walkin' straight into the destroying thing, didn't she. god damn hero.

i want an entire season of molly and patty mercury 13 backstory

molly x margo would have the best gay enemy sex and i would be so amused (but not as much as molly would) by stoned!margo

honestly don't think there are enough bad ships on famk, i adore wayne

she definitely spent months actively hitting on margo when she started ascan training just to annoy her. she and patty probably placed a bet on it.

she should've been stricter with the guys, and margo was right to fire her

hypnotized by fleetwood mac (second song on my molly x margo playlist)

"...you don't know where a woman gets fingered?"

i love that she's a wreck. i love that she overshares as a way to push people away because in reality she's lonely as hell and scared of true connection. i love that she uses generational stereotypes as jokes for the bit (and to rib at deb) when in reality she could really not give a damn. i love that she does drugs. i love that none of those things change the fact that she's talented and hardworking and fucking thriving. i love that she and i have the same relationship with growing up a gay loser with conservative parents in a new england suburb. i love that she's hot and spreads chocolate on her tiddies when she forgets shes wearing pants.

i hate that shes not real. jk, my least favorite thing is that she cannot for the life of her keep it in the drafts.

carl and hannah get along so well that every time ava and marcus interact i just knoooooow they want to genuinely admit to liking each other. i want more.

avadeb has in fact had my heart from day 1 and that will never change (its not gonna be canon you stupid sluts...ruby's cool too)

ava x not being woken up for breakfast

she's actually allergic to dogs and sucks it up for barry and cara only

unpopular opinion is that i am looking forward to seeing her absolutely thrive in season 3

kitchen light by xana

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship… and never abandon a member of your crew."

everything about janeway is my favorite thing about janeway, but especially what i said to you the other day about her being a woman and a captain but never feeling like a caricature of either or the other. her leadership feels different than the other pre-disco captains, but it's never tokenism.

she's got a questionable taste in men. also generally too nice to aliens that usually want to kill her.

if they were stuck in the delta quadrant any longer, tom paris would've named his second kid after her (maybe he already did? who knows what went on on that planet)

j7! i'm always a sucker for a former drone x person who gave the drone their name (a shortened version of their designation). also this (x)

sorry mutuals but ch*kotay takes the cake on this one by a mile

she thinks about that puppy q almost gave her pretty often on voyager, and has programmed a dog into every holodeck program she runs. when they get back to earth she adopts one of the puppies her old dog had from her ex. she names it neelix.

she made the right call with tuvix

all the things you are frances faye

"i'll be your eyes." "what?" "i'll. be. your. eyes."

above anything else, she does the work and supports the people she thinks are worthy, she thinks have something important to say, regardless of prestige. she's cute as a button and loyal to a fault and is exactly the right amount of talented and full of grace and humility for what she does.

she maaaaaay need to start learning what professional boundaries are (mainly irt how much of peoples' personal issues she can carry on her lonesome)

i could watch an entire season of judith and paul attempting to bake bread using the scientific method

blanchejudith my beloved. my milfiest ship. my repression central. my women who desperately need a weekend in vermont.

if julia/judith was a thing ig i do not want to see

i have lots of headcanons ab the cabin in vermont and how she uses that space to better both her editing and her writers' work

i don't think there are enough people in this fandom for anything to be controversial? she is an absolute gem

slip away clarence carter

[flonxbug]

overall doing pretty fine, just needing to vent to unclog my thoughts n all

I have no idea how to tell if I'm being a 'good' person or 'bad' person and i know that's not black and white but i worry a lot about if I'm going around making peoples lives worse

like i see people complaining about A Type Of Guy and i worry a lot cause i have no idea how to know if I'm being that Type Of Guy or not cause outside interpretations of actions seem way different from how anyone would actively choose to act

like, i know I'm annoying sometimes, i talk too much, i put my foot in my mouth, i overshare, i the up being too familiar, i try to 'help' then find it's not welcome, i say dumb shit and instantly regret it, I'm not good at reading people or what they want or need, etc etc...

like for sure I'm annoying and often unpleasant to be around... I'm gonna keep working on it but it doesn't seem likely to change very much aside from like... forcing myself to shut up generally which isn't super helpful to anyone ... I'm just not good at determining beforehand when the things I'm gonna say are gonna be welcome...

idk i guess my main priority has just gotta continue being like, trying to be good to people?? finding new ways to reach out and be generous, not judging what other people are going through or what they do, assuming best intentions etc

still having to learn to get better at guessing and trying to read what peoples responses mean and tailor my interactions with what people need and want from me...

and like, trusting people to decide for themselves how much they wanna interact with me?? like, hoping that if someone wants to distance themself then they will even if I'm reaching out trying to make new connections and checking in... trust that people mean what they say when they reach out and return friendship to me

...

I'm not sure what kind of value i have to offer people in my life... but i just wanna be a person that makes people happier, more comfortable, more able to express themselves and be who they want to be... someone who can give love and support and acceptance... And not sure how much of an impact I'm capable of but doing what i can to make the world a better more welcoming place for everyone

and yeah i am also lonely and want want connections and friendship and community... i want people i can reach out to and have fun with and who can help me learn and grow, i even want to find people who admire me, who love me, who want intimacy with me...

but i think that's okay?? it's selfish but like, normal i think... and like, i think it's okay as long as i don't try to push that on people who don't wanna be there, and don't get mad at or devalue other people if that's not what they want

i know i wouldn't think overly badly of someone else who was feeling this way and doing what I'm doing so i dunno... just gotta keep doing my thing i guess

[zwndlyyy]

I hate venting out

I hate that my friends need to comfort me cause it seems like I couldn't do it myself

I hate ruining a wonderful conversation with someone with my problems

I hate that I'm a sad person

I hate that everyone knows my pain because I tend to overshare things so easily

I hate that whenever I feel like this, I needed someone when I promised myself that I want to overcome them alone

I hate it whenever I see people around me getting the things that i've been struggling with

I hate how quiet and shy I am to the point no one's bother approaching me

I hate how lonely I actually am

I hate to feel left out all of the time

I hate to pretend that I'm okay with being alone

I hate myself for being so fucking afraid

I hate that when I'm entering adult era but still struggle with these kind of things

I hate and pity myself for never being someone's first option

I hate how unattractive I am

I hate the way I talked, the way I walked and the way I smiled

I hate how I always ended up crying over the same thing over and over again

I hate myself for being so quiet and an introverted

I hate how people often makes fun of me

I hate that I'll never fit in

I hate how put everyone as my priorities but I was never their's

I hate that every night I just wish for something better

I hate how my life was created

And most i importantly

I hate myself

[deblklesb]

hope you feel better luvie <3 🥺

thank you for your wishes, luv 🥺💗 I'm very tired still (this is a small vent, I'm kinda oversharing, y'all don't need to read it)

honestly it's been crazy and tiring. i just know that if i were off meds i would be pretty much freaking out physically too, not just being stressed - i mean, the stress would affect me physically in a worst way (although the ones I'm taking make me so sleepy and i have so much to do i shouldn't be sleeping). it's been 3 very very hard weeks and I'm not done yet. i honestly just wanted to lay and cry and don't need to do or think about stuff that needs to be done. but my mom is also so stressed and tense and there's expenses with the car, meds, mobility while without the car (were we live is very difficult to go without a car and i can't take bus bc of the labyrinthitis' crisis so we're taking app cars which is also expensive), and on top of that trying to be centered. i still have an essay to submit until friday and my pc decided to piss me off. i feel lonely and bad mentally and my depression seems to be creeping out, waiting for a moment to just fuck me up more too (it's a feeling, idk how to describe).

so anyways, it's been... tiring to say the least.

please don't take this small venting badly, idk, i just had to put it out and I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, like i said y'all don't have to read it if you don't want to. and I'm not just complaining, i feel like i tend to judge myself for possibly doing so, it's just that sometimes is so much and idk how to handle it and i keep restraining myself from talking about it too much with my friends bc i think I'm bothering them.

also, to whoever sent an ask with a request, that's also why I'm taking so long to post it 🥹 but I'm working on it on my time, as i said it's nice to think about something to do just for fun so I'm grateful for y'all!!! 🫂🫂💗💗💗💗

anyways. that's a small update 🚶🏾‍♀️

please y'all take care, drink water, eat well. happy pride also!!!!!!!!!!

[put-me-in-a-movie-mp3]

Hello!! I was wondering if you could ship me with a stranger things character? Totally ok if you're not doing them anymore, just ignore this then!!!

Appearance: I am 18 years old. I am a 5' 8.5" female-presenting genderfluid person. I'm not gonna lie, I do have a bit larger tits (nothing like super big, but they are there) and absolutely no ass unless I desperately grab for it. I am Nepali, so I have some south Asian mixed with East Asian features, but I am so pale from never going out, I can pass as white some days. Pretty long thin blackish-brown hair that reaches mid-back and is really wavy. Got some very faint acne scars on my forehead. Got my ears and nostril pierced, planning on doing my cartilage very very soon!!! I got a couple of burn marks, simply because I'm a bit clumsy and a little dazy sometimes. As for how I dress? Pretty feminine. I do dress very masculine some days, but I prefer to dress feminine just because it makes me feel super pretty!!!

Personality: I am a Hufflepuff through and through. No matter how many times I take the Pottermore quiz, I get the same thing. I fall under neutral good, I'm an INFP and a Taurus. I'm pretty quiet and love to read. If I talk to you once, you are immediately my friend. I can be really social at the drop of a hat and HATE awkward silence. I always have a new story or am trying to find something I have in common with other people. Socializing exhausts me, but I prefer it to be lonely. I'm constantly making stupid jokes and can be a bit mean sometimes.

Interests/Hobbies: Am a big reader. Gets to be a large problem sometimes. Like I will tell everyone I know, sorry I'm really busy, just to finish a book or read a Webtoon update. I like watching sci-fi/fantasy TV shows and prefer crime/thriller movies. When I read, I like action and romance so yeah taste is all over the place :D. I love playing video games, and coding is my number one thing rn. Actually going to college this fall and working towards a computer science degree with a concentration in video game development. I stream occasionally and don't have a large following, but it's really fun!! Love writing songs, and playing the acoustic guitar though I'm kind of saving up for an electric one cause I feel like more of the songs I write would sound better on that. Also currently writing a novel for funsies that has to do with Hindu mythology and fantasy worlds.

And yeah! I feel like this is a lot of information and definitley feel like I overshared. Hope I didn't overwhelm you :) Thank you for doing this, and keep doing you !!

Take care <3

Here you goo <33 :)

Stranger Things

Eddie Munson

When you said you didn't like socializing that much, I instantly thought of Eddie Munson. He keeps to himself much and he enjoys talking to people he likes. Otherwise he won't interact with you at all. I could defiantly see you guys playing video games together as well! He would be so fascinated by how creative and ambitious you are. He also loves that you have a big heart! You guys would meet probably outside of school somewhere. You were a friends with Dustin, Will, used to be Lucas, Mike, Max, and Eleven. Your friend group started splitting apart but as soon as Steve, Eleven, and Mike came back the group formed again. This time adding a couple other people like Eddie. You two really got a long and then eventually he saved you from Vecna at one point and you instantly fell for him. (he had already fell for you)

Hope you liked it!

[theramblingvoid]

2, 26 & 44 ? :)

Do you mourn for a place or person you’ve never known?

Some questions can be answered, and some must be answered around. As a kid I would run off down what my parents always called "rabbit trails" when we were out hiking, those little unofficial paths that never lead anywhere in particular but always might next time. I built fairy houses and stacked branches and leaves on top of each other to find them scattered by the next rainfall. I read books about children being swept away through mysterious portals to their destiny in another realm, and I always cried when they returned back to regular, non-magical Earth for their happy ending, because they had freedom and companionship and the sweet joy of being needed by the world held in the palm of their hand, and they threw it all away. I looked behind the clothes on racks in stores and checked my house for secret doors.

I think I may mourn for that person, but I do not mourn for those places. I know where I am meant to be, now. I have the means to find my center when I feel displaced. Maybe I wish I could go back and give that kid her portal, take her on that adventure, but I'd have to take her back to Earth in the end and I know she would cry. Maybe instead I just miss the urge to check every junk drawer for a magical amulet, even if my old reasons for needing one were lonely.

(other two questions under the cut because rambly and oversharing)

What’s the most life-changing choice you’ve made so far?

Welcome to tone whiplash city, population one! :] Yeah this one doesn't really lend itself to the flowy writing style above because the answer really is just Boy Howdy, last summer was a trip. It turns out that there is actually a maximum amount of dissonance and contradiction one person can take between their inner and outer life, and when that limit is reached sometimes you end up sitting on the floor frozen in time for an hour with a very clear crossroads between spilling your whole being out into the open purely as it is or sitting there speechless until someone comes to take you away. As you can probably tell from the fact that I'm in a desk chair two cities over and not still on my parents' floor or in a mental hospital, I picked the option where I came out twice to my family and also left my religion in one big run-on sentence. So that was sort of...life-changing is certainly the right word. I can't describe how much lighter and much more disorienting it is to not have a single Big Secret to keep after three years of having so many. Out of all the effects of that moment, that might not be the most influential, but it's the one I remember most clearly.

How often do you lie? Is all lying inherently bad? Are you generally truthful?

Oh this one is fun, this is one of my long standing pet peeves actually. I'm strongly against the idea that lying is universally immoral. Sometimes lying in a situation causes much less overall damage than telling the truth would, whether it's to oneself or someone else, and putting a simplified moral standard on that is super pedantic and counterproductive in my opinion. Also: not everything falls in the category of either a lie or the truth! In fact, I'd say that most things probably don't! A thing can be a partial truth, truth taken out of context to produce an assumption that is a lie, a fact that is later disproven or expanded upon, a guess that can prove to be right or wrong later - so many things! Not to mention that some people can't afford not to lie for the sake of safety. At that point, being legalistic about whether "lying" as a concept on its own is right or wrong really loses relevance to any real life situation.

I don't lie much at the moment, because I don't need to. When I do need to I prefer to use half-truths or truth with context that leads to a lie, just because that's easier to have sound honest and harder to disprove than an outright falsehood. (Welcome to resume writing :) /hj)

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Destiny of the Damned

Part 1 - Meeting Roman

Chapter 3 - Zombie

"Why wouldn't you go on dates? They're fun. Even if you end up never speaking to the person again, how else are you going to embarrass yourself singing karaoke, or bowling, or playing putt putt golf, or laser tag?" I asked.

"I'm more interested in fast forwarding to the end of the date." He smiled and winked at me. "Besides, I don't think I've ever done any of those things you said... Ever"

"Whhhhhhaaaaattttttt? Shut your dirty whore mouth." I exclaimed wide eyed with my mouth hanging open.

"What? That stuff is too cheesy for me. I've got a lot on my plate, I don't have time for nonsense."

"When I grow up, I wanna be just like you." I say like a smart-ass, resting my chin in my palm as i lean on the center console "Ok change of plans. We are now going to this address." I keyed in the new information into the navigation.

"Is this like your favorite place?" he asks with a smirk.

"No, I've never gone, but I remember reading about it."

"So any address you ever see, you remember forever?" he asks incredulously.

"Yes. Anything I read or see, I remember. Not so much what I hear always."

He raised my hand to his pillow lips and gently kissed along my knuckles and across the back of my hand. He took my index finger into his mouth and gently sucked on it, turning his lustful gaze on me with such intensity, i could feel the heat in my core. I could see how he got his reputation, and Although it felt nice, I blurted out my first thought.

"I bet you made out with your hand when you were a kid huh? Like when you decided to practice?"

He froze and removed my finger from his mouth and turned to me rolling his eyes, "Don't you find me attractive?"

"Duh." I giggled.

"Duh?" He shook his head and dropped my hand putting both hands on the wheel and staring ahead with a sour look on his perfect face.

I stare at him as he continues to ignore me. Good fucking luck buddy. I got my phone out and opened my karaoke app. I turned the radio off and selected a song I figured everyone knew; "Zombie" by the Cranberries.

"Excuse me, I was listening to that." Roman said, flashing me an annoyed look, as he reached to turn his radio back on, but I karate chop his hand at the last moment, and he lets out a yelp in surprise.

"Hiya!" I shouted playfully. "We are going to sing karaoke on the way and get that off your bucket list."

"I wasn't aware that was on my list." He said icily, staring straight ahead again looking even meaner.

"Brrrr. It's so cold in here... must be you." I take my seat belt off and lean across the center console and breath hot breath on his throat and then lick all the way up to his ear, and then gently kiss his cheek. He visibly melts and lets out a low growl and pulls over. As soon as the suv was in park, he picks me up completely and sets me in his lap before crushing my lips with a frantic kiss. I could feel him getting aroused since I was in his lap, and I pull away to look at him, both of us already out of breath. We lock eyes and he opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of what it was he was going to say and just returns my gaze with a half smile playing across his lips. I search his face, taking in the Gorgeous green color of his eyes, his pillow soft lips, The little line in the middle of his nose, the hardly noticeable scar on his cheek, his severe cheekbones, the way his face looked almost perfectly symmetrical. He was so beautiful. What the hell do I have to lose here?

"What are you thinking about?" He asks as I lean in to kiss him again.

"How someone so beautiful, can be so lonely." I say against hi lips without thinking. As soon as it comes out, I want to slap myself.

"Who said I was lonely?" He says almost shyly. 

I meet his eyes and tenderly kiss him. I place my hands on each cheek and nibble on his bottom lip ending in a drawn out smooch. I open my eyes and he is staring at me thoughtfully. I nuzzle my nose against his cheek and I feel him relaxing, before he snaps to attention, glring at me suspiciously. 

"Tell me What.You. Want. From. Me."He commanded. His eyes never leaving my own, his intense gaze willing me to tell him what he wants to know. I don't think he knows what it's like to hear no. I try to think of the answer to his question, because I am just as curious what the answer is. finally I think I have the answer. 

"I want you Roman. And I want you to want me. But not the easy way" I said pressing my hand down on his stiff erection. "I want it from here." I placed my hand on his heart and placed his hand on mine.

He looked a little nervous, and broke our eye contact and looked out the window. He chuckles uncomfortably shaking his head, "If you knew me, the real me... you wouldn't say such a thing. I'm ugly and I'm incapable of love. Giving it or receiving it."

My heart broke for him. What could be his reason for saying such a thing? People don't say stuff like that for nothing. This boy had some deep issues and some serious baggage. i let out a big sigh, as  I crawled back over into my seat.

"I should take you back." He said, not making eye contact.

"I'll fucking climb through your doggy door if you try to escape me now." I teased.

He smiles in spite of himself and turns to me with his eyebrow cocked, "I don't have a doggy door."

"It's easy enough to make one." I say seriously as he searches my face for something. 

"Great you're a psycho," He laughs. He was trying not to smile but he couldn't help it. He tried a few times to go back to his brooding mean mug, but then hed glance over at me, and break out into a smile again. "I like you a lot. You're crazy." He leaned over to kiss me gently on my lips, running his fingers into my hair, before pulling away, and turning on the car. "Now let's try this again shall we?"

He truly was breathtaking when he smiled. It was then I decided I wasn't going to be cautious or hold back. I was just going to give 100% and hope for the best. Worst case scenario; i get to have a night with Roman Godfrey, Best case, well I wasnt sure what the best case was but i bet there was a Pinterest or two dedicated to it. 

"You remind me of her so much. Your attitude and free spirited carefree nonsense..." He said wistfully.

"Letha?" I asked.

He nodded slowly.

"She must of been a fucking legend," I joked."Time to sing fool!" I howled.

"You really don't forget do you?".

"um, nope. I'll go first, and you can see how I do it and then, we will switch, and you sing while I drive, and so on and so forth."

"What makes you think I'll let you drive my car?"

"Because I can afford to replace it and you don't give a shit about material possessions anyway." i huff.

He laughed and agreed.

"Prepare to be entertained!" I belt out "Zombie" like i  was on stage performing for thousands. I knew I was an excellent singer and I wanted to impress him and it was clear i Had.

 "Could you sing one more song for me?"

"Sure. What song you wanna hear?" i asked excited he liked my singing.

"Geri by Super Humanoids."

"Oh I like that song." I found the song and started to sing. I decided to use two voices for the man and the woman singer. I sounded kinda silly but I had good range and could do high notes as easily as very low notes. It was actually a challenge sounding so ridiculous and we both laughed and laughed when the song ended.

"Switch." I yelled.

He sighed dramatically, but he pulled over. I jumped out my side and he stepped out walking around the front of the car. Just as we were about to pass each other, I grabbed Roman by his blazer and pushed him against the grill kissing him hungrily. He was all for it and switched positions with me pressing me against the large Mercedes symbol. I reached for his belt buckle and looked at him for permission.

"Wow really?" He hissed mischievously.

"I'm giving you 100%, I'm not being afraid of you, I'm trusting you." I looked up at him innocently. "Can we try that?"

"I don't know beautiful. I've never done that, and we hardly know each other, and you don't want to try that with me." He said looking everywhere but my eyes.

"Yes I do." I stated. "Don't be a pussy, what are you afraid of?"

He looked down at me, still hesitant but with a sparkle in his eye. "I'm terrified of you."

"wow. honesty. youre turn. ask me anything!"

"Tell me your darkest secret... " it was an order, but he wasn't trying to compel me. This was sincere curiosity on his part.

"wow you don't fuck around! Well the date might be over when i tell you, but here goes.' why this question I scream in my head, before blurting out, "I killed my parents, I'm not sorry, and if given the chance, I'd do it again." Shit. That was a bit of an overshare. I could of left out the last half.

Romans eyes grew wide and his eyebrows shot up as he took a few steps back from me. "Fuck baby, you don't gotta tell me why, but did they deserve it?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation. My heart sank as he looked at me strangely, unreadable to me.

"That's so fucking hot." He closed the gap between us and pulled me over to the passenger side of the car, seating me on the seat, facing him as he stood between my legs. His kisses were so fevered and desperate. It's like he was starving and I was the only cure to his hunger. He stripped my shirt off and whimpered when he saw my breasts in my sexiest lace bra that only covers less than half my breasts, and at 36D, that's quite an eyefull. He slipped my nipple into his mouth, circling each nipple several times before sucking on them hard and then lapping at them back and forth at a feverish pace. He pulled my panties off, but left my jean skirt on, and plunged his fingers inside my soaking wet core, using his thumb to rub circles on my clit.

I reached down and unbuckled his belt and pants, freeing the biggest penis I had ever seen. It was more girthy then usual and quite long. No wonder he was so arrogant. "Let me suck your cock please." i stated. I have an admitted oral fixation, and quite enjoy wrapping my lips around a nice cock. theres something about making a man melt, and be putty in your hands, that gets me excited. 

"Yes mam." Roman said breathing heavily and groaning as I run my hand up and down his shaft. He backed up and I got on my knees assessing his cock. My god IT IS EVEN BEAUTIFUL! How is he so perfect? I opened my mouth as wide as I could and barely fit it inside. I had no gag reflex, but even with that advantage, I could only handle a little over half of the total cock in my mouth. I used my hands to work the rest of it, making sure to play with his balls and look up at him now and then. 

He moaned "oh baby, You're so fucking good at that. I swear baby, you are the fucking best blowjob ever and that's saying a lot." He was breathing heavily and watching every thing I did with great interest. "Can I fuck your little pussy now please? Cars keep passing and totally know what we are up to, so we need to hurry, but first I need to bury my cock deep inside of you."

I stood up, wiping drool from my chin, and bent over the seat, offering Roman to take me from behind, but he flipped me around crushing me with his lips as he shoved his cock deep inside me. I couldn't help but to cry out. I'd never felt so full, it was amazing. Anyone that ever says size doesn't matter, is a fucking liar. If I hadn't been so wet, it may have been an issue, but luckily I was embarrassingly dripping.

"I want to see your face as I fuck you, is this ok?" roman moans kissing me deeply again.  "Why do I feel so fucking attached to you like I'm in fucking love with you? What have you done to me angel?" He whimpers as my breath hitches and i nod that I am ok, so he picks up the pace and I scream out his name.

"Harder Roman! It hurts so fucking good. Fucking break me baby,I'm gonna cum, don't you dare fucking stop." I held on to him as I felt my orgasm building up to near spilling over when I felt his teeth sink into my shoulder causing my release to hit me like a tidal wave and I bite him back, Digging my teeth in his collar bone, tasting his blood splash into my mouth.

"Where do I cum?" He asks frantically, peering into my eyes, pupils blown out, looking fucked out and helpless.

"Back up." I ordered. He did so and I got on my knees and opened my mouth as He shoved his cock down my throat and convulsed, shooting his load down my throat. I get up and he grabs my face smiling.

"Baby you look so fucking crazy. You bit the shit out of me." He says pulling me to the rear view mirror, to see the blood and drool all over my face. 

I grabbed some napkins out of the glove box and poured the remainder of my water on it, so I could clean off my face. I did the best I could and got in the driver seat. I looked over at Roman and he had this dopey look on his face. "You okay?" I asked.

"I think I'm smitten." He said dreamily. "That was so fucking hot, I will go play fucking mini golf or fucking bingo or wherever the fuck you want,I don't give a shit. I want to make you happy."

I looked over expecting a joking demeanor but there was none. He was serious. I was right about him, he just needed someone to love him most. He needed to be the boss and in control and to feel special and I was going to give him that.

"You've got me 100% Roman. Now choose a song. Don't think I forgot!"

"Do we get to do that every time we switch because if so, I'm gonna have a fucking marathon karaoke session up in this motherfucker." he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

I genuinely laughed with him, intoxicated by this strange feeling we were feeling. Happiness and attachment, were no friends of mine but for once i wasnt afraid,which was insane! If there was ever a boy to be afraid of, he was it, but not tome. To me, he was just perfect.

[visible-buttholegirl]

i am only on here to reblog sexy men and regurgitate the same depressing bullshit i think about on the reg. it repulses me more than it repulses you, trust me (i say as if someone is reading this... dear god i hope no one is reading this).

welp. today was one of those days where i felt particularly lonely. i hate how much this comes up in my life and in conversation because i feel like i'm banking on a relationship to boost my confidence and help me grow as a person. it no doubt will do both of those things, but i can't rely on it, i have to be able to grow and build confidence on my own. all that being said i think overall i'm fairly confident and comfortable with myself. it just feels like its been my main focus for a few years now and nothing has come of it, yet i've also not been able to progress in other areas of my life.

i don't know, i'm just getting really really sick and fucking tired of being the single friend. i don't know what it will be like for me to be with someone again, and i think it will really be shocking to my friends, and that's almost a little insulting on its own, but it can't be helped when i've been single since 2017. i also feel like being single makes others perceive me as younger than i am, and i KNOW i am not well-versed in flirting/dating/relationships as a result of my involuntary hiatus.

its also frustrating because the city i live in is a fairly big city, rife with queer people of all kinds, and yet i've gone four years without a boyfriend. what the hell gives?????? why has no one from my past ever hit me up??? its things like this that send a message to me that i'm not attractive enough, or i'm too fat, or too weird or socially awkward, or i'm not the hottest one in the room or SOMETHING. i know i'm hot, i'm tall and i think for the most part i carry myself well, i'm unique and i have interesting passions, and i'm chill and easy-going. kind of the perfect package really lol so like i'm pretty confident in myself for the most part but when i think of these things i get in my head.

also sick of hearing advice on the matter from people who are in relationships. i'm sorry but i find it hard to believe you know how it feels to be undesired for this long. it has been so exhausting and now i'm numb to it, almost to the point where i fear i've completely alienated myself from the possibility of being with someone in the first place.

"once you stop looking it will present itself to you"

"you can't force anything to happen, just go with the flow"

yes i understand that these things worked out really well for you but they clearly have not worked for me. i love my friends dearly and even the boo'd up ones are coming from a loving place, but it just gets old after this long.

i just daydream of a nice, chill boy with long hair and a beard. maybe a deep voice but definitely a warm, hairy body. he wakes me up in the morning and drives us to get coffee together. when i hug him i smell his signature smell and when i kiss him i taste his beer breath. he surrounds me with his body and we fall asleep listening to chill music and sharing horrible memes with one another. when we snuggle i grab his ass and bury my head in his chest and listen to his heart beat. we take occasional cute photos together but only post one on socials every once in a while, careful not to overshare on social media (the irony) but when one is just too cute you can't not. i want him to help me fully believe in myself and overcome my insecurities as i hope to do with him. i want him to think of fun, spontaneous date ideas, with cute little detours before or after. we can walk and hold hands, arms brushing up against each other, and we scratch each other with our beards when we make out. i just want an easy-going, down-to-earth boy to be cute and think i'm cute and hold me and keep me warm. i really don't think its fair i've had to wait four years for that, and i really hope its not much longer til something comes my way.

i know you're out there, please i hope we find each other soon ✨

[laceymorganwrites]

that's clarify, ty for your gorgeous work

let's hope i don't scare myself off, or that i scare you it's fun sharing fun with u

i guess my @ slipped, don't mention tho but u think you got it?

i ate more for the feeling of not feeling empty, but ate enough, i have to yet work on eating for joy and not for survival, i'm getting something more after replying u

i hope u find joy while doing the collab, that's really something

why i'm still here? i woke crying from a nightmare with a bunch of notifications from your tumblr on phone that day, old and new, it shouldn't have happened, tumblr notifications aren't turned on, i just said "you know what i wanna see" and then I'm annoying u the most i feel capable of - 📼

shush you can´t overshare with me <33

uuuuh I don´t think I did? So yeah you don´t have to worry about that^^

I will make it my mission to show you the love i have for food😤💪

yeah! I´m rlly looking forward to it, me and my friend are really excited also it´s always special for me to introduce a new fandom on this blog <333 (though istg if any Hisoka haters wanna come at me with the same old bullshit: I will literally block them so hard, like man, how dumb can you be? did we watch the same show?)

anyways^^

oh no bby >.< huggies coming your way immediately!!! also you´re not annoying at all, it´s fun to talk to you, makes me feel less lonely actually so thank you for being here <333

[clam-man-clam-hands]

Pick your favorite one and answer all of them!... Or as many as you'd like to. I'm not picky.

The meaning behind my url: Once upon a time, I made a comic called CLAM MAN. I will post pictures of it maybe

A picture of me:

How many tattoos i have and what they are: none, they are nonexistent

Last time i cried and why: last night because I realized that I’m kind of a failure

Piercings i have: the gay ear

Favorite band: La Femme

Biggest turn offs: A safe and healthy environment

Top 5 ():

Tattoos i want: spiders. All over me

Biggest turn ons: crippling fear and helplessness

Age: 19

Ideas of a perfect date: I wake up in a grungy and unfamiliar basement to be greeted by a man whose face I can only vaguely recognize. Alternatively, being chased through a cornfield by a masked, machete wielding man in the dead of night.

Life goal: to expire in the most perplexing possible circumstances

Piercings i want: none

Relationship status: bingle

Favorite movie: Alice by Jan Svankmajer

A fact about my life: Since coming to college, I’ve pooped exactly thirty seven times.

Phobia: Abandonment, failure

Middle name: Ira

Height: 5’5”

Are you a virgin?

yes

What’s your shoe size?

8 and a half.

What’s your sexual orientation?

Bromo sexual

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

Not yet

Someone you miss: Obama, honestly

What’s one thing you regret?

Oversharing about my weaknesses

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: I actually can’t comprehend this, I physically could not come up with a genuine answer.

Favorite ice cream?

Those mini milk chocolate Dove bars. You know, those ones

One insecurity: How much I matter to the people I care about

What my last text message says: 🅱️elp

Have you ever taken a picture naked?

I’ve taken pictures of things while being naked

Have you ever painted your room?

Not myself no

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

yep

Have you ever slept naked?

Once. I felt too vulnerable to do it again

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

Of course?

Have you ever had a crush?

Yes. 

Have you ever been dumped?

Yes, it was my internet boyfriend so it really wasn’t that bad

Have you ever stole money from a friend?

I took one single dollar from my mom once

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

Yes

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

Not yet

Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Yes, frequently

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

I have a habit of falling for straight boys

Have you ever been arrested?

Not yet no

Have you ever made out with a stranger?

Not yet

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

??????? Yeah???? I meet up with my friends regularly this is such a strange question

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

Yes

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

All of my neighbors are Old Jews, not my type

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

Yes, I frequently ditched high school P.E. in favor of not feeling suicidal

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

Yes

Have you ever seen someone die?

Not a person

Have you ever been on a plane?

Yes

Have you ever kissed a picture?

Every time I take a selfie, yes

Have you ever slept in until 3?

No, but I have until 2

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now?

I frequently love and miss people yes

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

Yeah???

Have you ever made a snow angel?

Yes

Have you ever played dress up?

Yes

Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

Yes. But not so much anymore.

Have you ever been lonely?

Yes. Currently,

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

Yes.

Have you ever been to a club?

Not yet

Have you ever felt an earthquake?

yes! Riveting

Have you ever touched a snake?

YES! I love them!

Have you ever ran a red light?

Yes! It’s a wondrous rush of panic and distress

Have you ever been suspended from school?

no, but I should have been

Have you ever had detention?

no

Have you ever been in a car accident?

Yes! Fun! Right outside the deli too

Have you ever hated the way you look?

Yes, but now I’m over it and I love my ugly self. Ugly is beautiful

Have you ever witnessed a crime?

Yes. Lots of them

Have you ever pole danced?

Not professionally, no

Have you ever been lost?

When am I not, though?

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

Yes, it’s nice to feel lukewarm sand and stare out at the polluted ocean waters

Have you ever felt like dying?

Frequently

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

Yes!

Have you ever sang karaoke?

Yes.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

Yes, I told myself I would never allow my life to crumble this much an

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

Yes. only once, however

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

Nope.

Have you ever kissed in the rain?

Actually, yeah

Have you ever sang in the shower?

No. I do not dare

Have you ever made out in a park?

Nope

Have you ever dream that you married someone?

 Vladimir Putin. Twice.

Have you ever glued your hand to something?

No, but I have glued things to my hands.

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

No. I treasure my taste muscle

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked?

No.

Have you ever been a cheerleader?

No.

Have you ever sat on a roof top?

Yes.

Have you ever brush your teeth?

Yes….?

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone?

No. I am no coward

Have you ever played chicken?

No.

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

Thankfully, no

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

Yes. Once

Have you ever broken a bone?

Would someone else’s count?

Have you ever been easily amused?

Yeah what kind of question is this

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yes

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

No

Have you ever cheated on a test?

Nope

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

Yes!

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

……. what?

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows.

No?