#but it's gotten SO BAD RECENTLY and now THIS
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my uncle (who 15 years later is a super anti-trans pro-trump guy) when i told him i was trans as a teenager: starts explaining to me that i should date older divorced women "because if they are used goods theyll just be glad anyone is willing to take them, which is how (2007 version of the phrase 'low value men') like us get 9s and 10s, ive NEVER dated below a 7, hot girls get desperate when they're older" --(coincidentally we stopped to eat and even though i was not attempting to pass i walked into the womens bathroom and a man saw me doing it and GRABBED ME and scolded me and tried to push me towards the men room and i froze up, squeaked, hurried into the womens room, he went and got a manager, i had to go 'no im a girl' like it was.. not fun! a very BAD first accidental passing situation! i only felt miserable embarrassed and in danger. )
a year or so later, coming out to my dad id only recently met as being a 16ish year old Lesbian (because i didnt trust him enough to come out as trans): 'oh okay, cool, lets go to hooters and oggle the waitresses, they are hot but stupid haha, i like stupid girls the most (note, his gf was 20 years younger than him) but id FUCK Sarah Palin, im only going to vote for Mccain just because Palin is HOT, hey did you hear they made a porn of her lookalike? yeah i know she hates gay people (and you are gay) but who cares, shes fUCKABLE i dont care what shes SAYING i just care about her BOOBS'
when i was about 18 during the training week for my first ever job at krogers i managed to pass without realizing it until the dudes invited just me (not the 1 girl) to eat lunch with them and just IMMEDIATELY started talking about fucking girls, girls being worthless if they were ugly and 'if theyre ugly just fuck em in the mouth hahaha' and HEY you know what i did NOT feel liek one of the boys, i felt like i was IN DANGER if they clocked me!! i did not feel like id gotten a special pass to the Fun Misogyny World where id get paid more, i was a 5'2" spotty teen boy working his first ever job as a grocery bagger who was now kind of scared his new coworkers might kill him, because ALL id done to pass was have short hair, be naturally kinda ugly, and have a gender-neutral nickname. none of my bosses thought i was a guy, they could find out at any second (as soon as we got back from lunch, evern) , that i was a worthless ugly girl that had invaded their space for their private conversatoin and maybe theyd decide to to show me what they meant!!!???
i have pretty much never managed to pass Ever Again after that point as far as i know, just a handful of times where a service worker went 'sir' to me, so these are pretty much the only times ive ever passed and it wasnt super fun!! so like!! maybe if youre a big huge strong tough trans guy with a spine of steel, complete confidence in your ability to pass and defend yourself, are in a highpowered/skilled enough environment to not worry about your job opportunities, maybe in that case invitations to the Fun Special Misogyny Club are being handed out even if you disclose that youre trans and hey, maybe its even fun to be there! ... but acting like thats the DEFAULT is just insane.
I'm this close to just sending that trans inclusive radical misogynist post, the one about how there's loads of guys who'll go "oh, you're a man now, great, come shit talk women with us" to every blog insisting that trans men can't have male privilege and it's transandrophobia to say they do. Not every trans man has this experience but it's actually pretty common even for out trans men to be seen as, if not "real" men depending on who you ask, certainly non-women, and encouraged to perform misogyny as part of their social transition.
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Hi Gina,
I’m in Europe, so I’m just waking up to all the discourse on your blog about SC. Maybe it’s because I’m older, maybe it’s because I’m more jaded or just the fact that I tend to look for the motives behind the obvious, but SC’s actions yesterday struck me as being very calculated. I forced myself to watch the footage of mourners leaving the service and what I noticed was the boys very discreetly leaving, one by one, trying not to attract too much attention to themselves. Then Liam’s devastated parents escorted Liam to the hearse waiting in front of the church to begin his last journey. It was at that moment that SC made his way towards them and ‘broke down’ in front of them, which basically forced these sweet, kind people to console him in view of the paps and the spectators.
SC has been getting a lot of bad press lately. His search for the next boyband turned out to be a flop. The interview he gave where he talked about his single greatest regret with 1D did him no favors. He tried to use Harry’s name when he told an interviewer that Harry had called him up for a little chat about the good old days and as recently as a month ago he implied Liam had paid him a nice little visit only last summer. He used those boys names to keep himself relevant and to boost his PR, even though Liam’s death had created a lot of backlash for him. What better way then, to clear his name and get back in the public’s good graces, than being seen breaking down in front of Liam’s poor parents and being consoled by them. He’s a narcissist and a master manipulator, so he must have known very well that these sweet people would never do anything to dishonor their son’s memory by pushing him away in full view of the press. And judging by some of the anon’s you’ve gotten, his nefarious little plan seems to be working, because he’s now being seen as the heartbroken friend of the boys and we are the heartless a-holes who refuse to forgive his transgressions.
Anyway, this is just my two cents. Maybe I’m too harsh, but this feels in line with everything else we know about the man, so I wouldn’t put it past him to have orchestrated this entire interaction.
On a side note, thank you for being a voice of reason and a port in a storm for all of us in these difficult times. Your blog is the first thing I turn to every single day and I want you to know how much I appreciate you being here for us all. Don’t forget to take good care of yourself! Sending you much love from Belgium!
Hi sweetheart. Thank you for this. I 100% agree with you. There's absolutely no way he didn't do that as a calculated move.
And thank you for the sweet personal message, too. I'm logging off shortly. Yesterday was super draining. ❤️
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"Bioware's writing has gotten worse"
Ok, so I'm going to rant post about something and make it everyone elses' problem.
So, I recently came across a video that compared a scene of a queer character interacting with an unsupportive character in Dragon Age: Inquisition and a similar situation Dragon Age: the Veilguard. The video and the comments seem to imply that one scene is markedly worse than the other in a way that is immediately apparent. I want to push back against this.
Aside from the transphobia/anti-nb shit that is suggested by the video's framing and rampant in the comments, saying one scene is worse than the other is a mischaracterisation and discounts a lot of queer experience.
The scene in Inquisition is very dramatic: the language is flowery and elaborate, the performances are intense, it is a very compelling and dramatic scene. The framing for the scene and visual tone communicate a great deal of intensity and anger from Dorian: there are heavy shadows and dim lighting from torches that flicker, creating a scene that visually has a darkness and instability to it. The blocking of the scene puts a great deal of distance between the player character, Dorian, and his father, representing the distance in their relationship. It is very much a well crafted scene.
Now, the scene in Veilguard is much different: it opens with a very casual tone and atmosphere, the lighting of the scene is very warm and saturated. It feels like we are at a dinner table having a friendly conversation. Then, when the bomb gets dropped, we start to get close ups of each of the characters, interrupted by wide shots of the whole table. The shot of the table reminds us of the physical separation between these two characters, an echo of the rift that exists between them. We then get various close ups of each of the characters which get progressively closer, mirroring the intensity of the scene and the emotions.
Ok, so now we have the "Dialogue," the actual matter under discussion and point of comparison for these two scenes.
As mentioned above, Inquisition's style in this scene is deliberately intense and dramatic. It feels almost Shakespearean. We are given exposition on why Dorian's homosexuality is frowned upon, we get a tug of war between these two characters and the pain they both feel is palpable in the performances: the way Dorian's father speaks with such pain in his voice and Dorian's ferocity and anguish illustrate how this conflict isn't what either of them want, how the values and cultural circumstances have burned this bridge between them.
Now lets look at Veilguard. Right off the bat someone might feel critical of the sort of awkward start to this conversation. I won't lie, it was quite funny to hear someone go "here are some vegetables...so I'm non-binary." It's clunky, it's awkward, it's a strange way to introduce the topic but if you call this "unrealistic" or "bad writing," frankly I don't think you've seen many people come out.
Coming out is often awkward, painfull, and full of conflicting feelings. There's so much hesitation and anxiety baked into the very concept that there isn't anyway to bring it up that isn't awkward. This is actually a pretty realistic way to depict it. Furthermore, the actual conversation is also what I would call pretty realistic for an outing: the child tries to put it in as simple of terms as they possible can, lay it out in a way they think anyone can understand only for the parent to simply reject the explanation. What follows is a brief exchange that rapidly increases in intensity that is brought to life by some well done voice work (though, personally I think the music was a bit over bearing and did a little too much heavy lifting; I would have preferred the scene silent).
You can feel their frustration that is only further compounded by the mother's past behaviour and general presence. Even in this short video clip you can tell right off the bat that this mother child relationship isn't the most healthy, so this is just more fuel to the fire for them. The exchange is brief, harsh, and loaded with baggage and past bad blood between these two. You don't need to even know who these characters are to feel that. This is a much more realistic example of a character coming out to an unsupportive parent. It is laden with tension, awkwardness, unresolved anger, the burden of past expectations. There is, bluntly, a lot going on in this scene. Even just from this short clip you can get so much from these characters and their relationship while at the same time conveying a pretty impactfull and, honestly, real feeling queer experience.
So, no, one scene is not "worse" than the other. One scene has a deliberately awkward moment to convey the difficult and uncomfortable nature of coming out while at the same time communicating a great deal of character and struggle.
The other scene is an intense and dramatic confrontation that is meant to be more instep with the dark and intense tone that this scene holds within the narrative.
Both are well crafted scenes with deliberate directorial, cinematographic, character, and music choices that successfully convey what these moments are supposed to represent.
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard#rant#writing#writing critique#veilguard spoilers#dragon age inquisition#dorian pavus#These kinds of people know nothing about being queer or writing or cinema and pretend to and it drives me up a wall#it is literally everyone elses problem now
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YO. I remember I haven't bothered you in a while and now I am here to correct that.
So megatron is obviously kinda oblivious when it comes to personal stuff which gives me the utterly hilarious vision of megatron realizing he's in love with ko without realizing they've been dating for months. Megs is being an absolute diva in his quest to "wooe" his love meanwhile ko is just enjoying how affectio ate megatrons been on their most recent dates. And of course poor soundwave is watching this all unfold in the background. Poor sw he is bot payed enough for this.
Megatron: Hmm... late-night chats, sharing energon, good frags, and raining destruction on Autobots together? This is excellent! Finally, someone I might consider making my mate. I'll need an elaborate scheme to avoid the possibility of being turned down. Soundwave: ??? Knock Out: Shh, I want to see how this turns out. Soundwave: :(
Soundwave getting dragged off by Megatron for something super important, thinks it's Megatron finally catching up on his reports after being distracted for a while, but then it's just Megatron demanding advice on gifts or something else frivolous XD
Meanwhile, Megatron's slowly going insane because there's been no change in Knock Out's demeanour despite his best wooing attempts. He's good at persuading people, that's how he ended up with an army under his command, but maybe his more intimate skills have gotten rusty. There must be some way he can raise Knock Out's interest, but how?
Maybe at some point Knock Out clocks what's going on, but he does love to be chased, so why spoil a good thing by setting Megatron straight? What if Megatron gets bored and moves on the moment he doesn't consider it a challenge anymore (conveniently forgetting that he thought Megatron was happily settled into a friend-with-benefits thing before this)?
Soundwave starts scheduling their shifts carefully to avoid disruptions to main Decepticon proceedings, but he can't exactly give orders to Megatron and Knock Out is happy to skive where he can. He thought listening to Megatron boast about the times he defeated Optimus were bad? This is so much worse XD
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on a brighter note; has he ever forgot to stop monologuing as he eats and chokes like a dumb dummy dum dum
on a not so brighter note; when he walks with his guard friend to the red gate, does he start to notice Evbo's monologuing change overtime? (yeah so i endes up writing a whole oneshot fic of this omw home so -- enjoy!)
He's died some-amount of times before walking with egf again, so the difference has got to be pretty noticeable.
Especially since he's heard Evbo's monologuing from the beginning,
He used to monologue so loudly and obnoxiously,
Rung in his ears were the man (or- honestly, he'd rather call him a boy)'s annoying curiosity, delusion and stubbornness
But now he's, mumbling. Whispering with a strained voice. Tired and slurred. He'd heard that the Iron Swords started to try and make him shut up, but he didn't think it'd work-
And most of all, he didn't think.. it'd be so quiet to not hear Evbo talk so loudly about how he's feeling, what he's doing, what he's been trying to do. For some reason, he's begun to hate it less..
One day, in one of their walks to the red gate, the Guard spoke "..Sso, how's the- what was it? beating the same Gold Sword guy? -uhh, going."
It's the first time he's been the one to start a conversation between them, honestly what has gotten into him?? Asking Mr Yapper to Yap is well known to be a bad idea.
...
The green hoodied Swordsman's eyes bored the iron boots of the man in front off him idly
I need to find an opening.. I need to- I need to..
...?
replaying the seconds before his death, unwon fights mixed with flashes of his harvest,
I need to- for Tabi. I'll get her out.. Right? Yeah. Just- please hold on a little longer...
e...o.
The feeling of cold blade lingering on every flesh in his body.
"Evbo."
The Guard held his shoulders and shook him, causing Evbo to flinch and look up. His eyes darted as it tried to focus on what's in front of him
He's been zoning out a lot more recently. The repetition and almost meaningless act of dying, walking through the gate, falling, walking through another gate, falling, following whoever he ends up with, and when he looks up, he either has to sit in a dark quiet room until some comes to kill him again, or do another gate, fall, fight, die.
Nothing new, nothing to monologue about but the same 'save Tabi', 'strike him'.
"H..hey? Sorry- I zoned off. What were you, saying..??"
Evbo slurred and stuttered, as if someone who's just woken up from a walking sleep
As The Guard stared at him, he seemed almost.. panicked? Disturbed?... worried? .. freaked out.
Its so.. freaky. Freaky how much this childish man's changed over the past three weeks until its like he's not the same guy. Freaky how he continued walking as Guard stopped with his head down like a wandering ghost. Freaky how his eyes stared wide at the ground, terrified yet lifeless
"... I asked you how're you doing.. with beating Gold Sword?"
He almost sounded like that there was something else he wanted to know more, even if he didn't realize it.
Evbo blinked for a moment
"Oh- uh.. well-.."
He's somewhat taken aback, both from the jolt back into reality and from the question. It's the first time someone's asked him to talk about how he's doing -- with progressing in his goal.
"-It.. went about the same as always. .."
".. whats always like, then?"
And then Evbo. started rambling again, less lifelessly this time!!! There's not a lot to talk about, so egf had started asking him what the level looks like in detail, he'd never seen it too after all.. he's actually a little interested
It didnt take long until they reach the red gate, but those few minutes felt longer than anything he'd gone through since All Of This, felt real, felt alive.
The guard turned away, "well- I'll go now. Goodluck, I guess. " his tone stiff,
And Evbo gave him a wave, with that obnoxiously wide smile as he chirped "See ya next time! Hopefully- with some progress on the Gold Level.."
"Yeah yeah- just go already."
--and, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, Evbo did not indeed progress. He'd died again.
Hearing the news, the Guard rolled his eyes behind his shaded glasses, typical.
But this time, Evbo died feeling a little better, he went on another respawn feeling a little more ready to die all over again, after one of these deaths.. he's going to seehis Guard friend again. And he can tell him how he failed, even if he already knew.
Now that I started thinking about Evbo's monologuing...
Does Evbo talk ALL THE TIME? Is it only when he is stressed? Or when he's afraid? Perhaps when he's happy? Or sad?
Does Evbo mutter when he's trying to be stealthy? Does the kid shout wildly and loudly when he's fighting, speaking his opponent's every move? Does Evbo's voice shake when he gets hurt?
When he was used as the ultimate revival tool- fighters killing him without so much as a doubt- did his voice shake as he spoke how they approached him in that bloodied and dark room? How they swung and hit with their iron swords?
Did he try to stop himself from speaking, but it's become such a habit.. An instinct. For him that he couldn't stop even as he tried over and over again to clench his jaw and stop his mouth from moving as pain erupted once more?
Did his lips become bruised and bloodied as people got more and more annoyed at the fact that this stupid tool they use daily keeps talking? Did they plunge their swords right through his tongue, gouging and slashing at it every once in a while to stop him from muttering their every movement?
Did Evbo ever stop talking in that cell?
#pvp civilization#pvp civilisation#pvpciv#pvp civ#Dont Read The Comments guys i May have lost it#evbo’s guard friend#pvp evbo#pvp civ spoilers#pvp civ evbo#gavbo#(?)#idk their ship name#ghoust writing
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i still can't believe the LA Times article/interview just. openly admits that the show intentionally, from the beginning, fully removed Gabe being abusive and overtly made him just a nosy loser. Percy's relationship with Gabe is so important to how he navigates the world and the themes of the series. Percy's first monster is in his own home. He uses wards against evil against his step-father and they work. He has overt PTSD that colors his interactions with Mr. D and is why he's so antagonistic towards him for like four books. It isn't until Percy is able to move past his trauma and how Mr. D reminds him of Gabe that he sees Mr. D for who he actually is and understand him and begin to empathize with him. Heck, even into HoO we see Percy having visceral reactions to implications of alcohol/drinking because of Gabe. Everything about Percy's home life colors him as a character. His trauma and PTSD informs his perspective and they explicitly removed his PTSD in the show.
They removed Percy's PTSD. They brush over his experiences as a neurodivergent/disabled kid after the first episode and turned Sally into an Autism Speaks mom. Why. On what planet was that a reasonable change to be made.
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#percy jackson#ask to tag#THE FIRST SERIES WAS *SO GOOD* ABOUT THE NEURODIVERGENCE/DISABILITY REP ACTUALLY#THE ORIGINAL SERIES LEGITIMATELY DID SO MUCH FOR REAL LIFE ADHD/DYSLEXIA AWARENESS#LIKE A TANGIBLE EFFECT. It's kind of cool! it's part of why i love the franchise so much! because of how it represents that!#but it's gotten SO BAD RECENTLY and now THIS
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Ghost Cores are Dionesium
So! I while ago, I saw a Post about Danny and the Court of Owls, and one suggestion in the comments basically said, "What if Dionesium, the stuff they use to bring back the dead, is just Ghost Cores?"
And that got me thinking. Lazarus Pits are just Dionesium Infused Water, so how would they be created if Dionesium is a Ghosts Core? Well they way I see it, Lazarus Pits can only be formed in 2 Ways.
The first way is for a large number of Ghosts to be Ended at the same time, with their shattered Cores piling up and dissolving into Water.
The other way, if for an Ancient to Die. The Ancients are practically God's, and as such their Cores are immense in Power. When an Ancient dies, and their Core is left to dissolve in the Human Realm, it forms a Lazarus Pit in the exact same way it would take hundreds of normal Cores to do so.
Where am I going with this?
Well, isn't there a Giant Lazarus Pit under Gotham? The Batcave even has one, doesn't it?
The reason Gotham is so cursed isn't because Lady Gotham likes to collect Curses, or because her Ectoplasm is corrupted, it's because she isn't there to stop them anymore.
Lady Gotham is Dead.
Her Core sank deep into the Earth, forming a Lazarus Pit under the entire City, but thankfully far away from her People. She died, and only the fact that she is a Conceptual spirit saved a piece of her Consciousness. She represents a City, she can only fully be killed if the entire City is leveled. That doesn't mean she is still alive however, just that the barest sliver of her mind is hanging on by a Thread.
This is how Gotham possessed Batman that one time, it was her base instincts saving one of her precious children.
If you want her to be a little more cognizant, maybe she is just severely Injured? Her Core is cracked to the edge of shattering and she desperately needs help.
She she calls out to whoever could save her, and a certain Ghost Boy hears her cry for help?
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Lady Gotham#Lady Gotham is Dead#Dionesium is made of Ghost Cores#Ghost Cores are made of Dionesium#Lady Gotham died and her Core formed the Lazarus Pit under Gotham City#I wonder how the League's Pit was formed? Was it a Dead Ancient or a large number of Ended Ghosts?#Either way they died Mad#That's where Pit Madness came from#What would the Court of Owls do when they find out that there is an entire Species that is made of that Immortality Metal they want so much#Maybe a story for another Prompt?#Also#Lady Gotham had been like this for a while#But it's only gotten as bad as it is now recently#Everybody in the city can feel that something is off#They don't know why#But the older generations know that it's been getting worse for years now and it's finally reaching a head#Like the climax of a story decades in the making is about to unfold#But they have no idea what that means to them#Thoughts?
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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Rachel was glad to hear Henry was okay, though she was going to give him another earful about putting himself in danger especially after what happened recently. Still there was something she had to know first. “Adrian, wait!” Rachel cried before the immortal began to leave. Adrian turned around with a surprised expression. “Yes? What is it?” Adrian inquired. “I want to know something. Why did you come here to Fair City? Why didn’t you stay in London or move somewhere else if you were in trouble? Even Lucy was surprised to hear that you were in Fair City.” Rachel exclaimed. Adrian blanched and looked nervous. He glanced at Lucy who was busy watching over Amber, but she also glanced at Adrian. She had a knowing and sympathetic look in her eyes. Adrian knew Lucy was one of the few people outside the league who knew about his rigged trial. But only he and his crew knew the truth about his biological relation to Henry. Adrian let out a deep sigh. “I can’t tell you the real reason I’m here Rachel. Only my crew and I know the real reason. I intend to keep it that way for now. But I do want to let you know that I am on your side and I will do anything in my power to help you and Henry and Amber should you ever get into trouble again.” Adrian spoke with restrained emotion. Rachel saw a pained look in his eyes, as if he wanted to admit the truth but couldn’t for some reason. Rachel had a defeated expression. She wasn’t going to push for information even if she desperately wanted to know. “Alright. Take care then Adrian.” Rachel said. Adrian smiled and nodded. He then turned to Lucy and Amber. “Good day Queen Lucy. It was nice meeting you Amber. I have to go now.” Adrian called out. Amber pouted before jumping off the couch and racing to Adrian, Zosi following behind the little girl. She ran into Adrian’s legs and hugged him tightly. “Will you come back to play with me and daddy again, Mr. Barton?” Amber asked in a pleading tone. Adrian felt his resolve began to break and shatter but he maintained his casual expression. “Of course I will, little one. It’ll be your father’s decision though.” Adrian replied. Amber nodded in understanding. “Okay, goodbye Mr. Barton.” Amber exclaimed. Zosi gave a happy farewell bark and wagged his tail, as if he knew something the others did not. “Take care Adrian.” Lucy said as she nodded goodbye. Adrian soon headed out the door and headed downstairs to the exit of the apartment. After he had gotten a few feet away, tears began to flow down his cheeks as he let out quiet sobs. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” He muttered through tears. Wordgirl soon brought Henry back safely to his apartment door. Henry used his keys to open the door and was about to head inside when he was suddenly knocked down by some sort of black mass. Henry looked up a bit dazed and was shocked to see who knocked him down. “Zosi?” Henry exclaimed with stunned surprise. The Church Grimm barked happily and proceeded to lick Henry’s face. “Augh. Zosi, it’s good to see ye as well. Hold on. Down. Easy there boy.” Henry tried to get his dog to calm down but had a hard time speaking through fits of giggles caused by Zosi licking his face. Rachel came forward and shooed the dog off of Henry, and then helped the man back to his feet. “Henry Donovan Jekyll. How many times do I have to tell you to not go running off into danger. I swear you are just as bad as Edward sometimes.” Rachel scolded. Henry composed himself, his cheeks blushing red from embarrassment. “Ah see Adrian told ye what happened.” Henry remarked, feeling that was the reason behind Rachel’s lecture. @unhingedexperimenter
Henry felt devastated for his oldest friend. "That's absolutely horrible. I can't possibly imagine what Robert is going through. Even though he had issues with his father, this would no doubt affect him greatly.” His heart ached for Robert. Having lost his father due to a murder. Who could've done that? Was it the same person who attempted to kill Mr. Danvers Carew with the fire which Hyde got framed for? “You said it seemed personal. Why do you say that, old friend?” The lawyer took a moment to answer. “The murder was grisly and there wasn't anything stolen from the crime scene. It sounded more than just a robbery gone wrong. If it was truly that, expensive items would've been missing yet it all remained. I'm honestly shocked that Robert never told you. You two were always so close. Practically inseparable from college.” Henry looked visibly uncomfortable and solemn due to what his friend had said. “Thank you for telling me this. I do hope Robert will tell me about this on his own time. I won't force him or rush him.” Gabriel nodded at that. “Are you going to tell him?” The teacher seemed hesitant to answer that. “I will, once he has his own problems sorted. I would rather not add onto his problems with my own.” While it was true, Henry also didn't want to make things more complicated for Robert. He knew that his best friend had HJ7 and possibly could have ingested it. Leading to his own soul being split. It would only stress him out which could lead to his possible version of Hyde to get better control over him. It would only serve as ammo Robert's counterpart could use against him. “That is quite understandable. You two have been through a lot. Also considering the incident with your former employee. Mr. Hyde. It's been so stressful for both of you.” Hyde felt nervous whenever Gabriel would mention him. It felt like he could so easily uncover who he truly was to Henry. It was why he never appeared around him either. It's not that they didn't trust him. Not at all. As crazy as Hyde thought he was, he didn't want to possibly lose a friend he technically never met. He actually liked Gabriel and knew that the lies Henry kept would hurt the man deeply. It was a shared fear between Henry and Edward. “Thank you for understanding that, Gabriel. Also thank you for helping me.” Gabriel offered him a warm smile. “Of course. I would do anything for my dearest friends.” It troubled Henry. Why didn't Robert say anything about his father? Yet again, Robert did keep it a secret that he had a vial of HJ7 too. Becky looked confused, she had known about the murder of Dr. Lanyons father before he did. She was sure he would've known. Before the young girl could think about it further, she heard a voice calling for her. It was her uncle's voice. She listened to him calling, luckily Gabriel was too occupied with Henry to notice that. She went over to her father and tugged at his sleeve. Making Dr.Two-Brains lean over so she could whisper into his ear. “Dad, Uncle Alan is calling me. It sounds really urgent, I'll be back as soon as possible.” The mad scientist seemed reluctant to let her leave but nodded. “Alright, please don't take too long. Be careful.” With that said, Becky left. The moment she was alone, checking to make sure it was safe, Becky transformed and flew straight to Alan's and Hugh's apartment. She wondered why he called for her instead of going there himself. It must've been something serious. When she arrived, Becky went to the apartment she knew they resided in. Giving the door a couple of knocks before it was answered by Alan. Behind him were the other three of the four. “Uncle Alan? What are the others doing here?” His expression remained stoic. “We wanted to tell you something. We need you to tell your dad to turn his phone on. We have urgent information to tell him. Something has happened. We need to tell him what as well as the information we gained from it.”
Becky looked alarmed at what her uncle had just said. "Does it have something to do with Dr. Barriton?" Becky inquired as she remembered her dad telling her about the blonde scientist. Becky never really met him since the guy was fired when she was a baby. Her dad did describe him as an absolute narcissus and prick who was Athena's cousin. Becky didn't hold it against anyone to be related to that psycho woman since her twin brother Eris was a good person. She held the man's character and lack of morals against him. Alan shook his head. "No, it wasn't Calvin. Have you heard any of the adults speak of a Lucian Bennett?" Alan asked his niece. Becky pondered the question a bit and shook her head. "Not really, no." She answered. "Who is he?" The four looked at each other, not really sure how to explain. Hugh decided to speak about the man and his encounter to a degree. "We are not entirely sure who Lucian is as a person, but we know he is like Edward Hyde. By that, I mean he is the counterpart of someone who took the HJ7 formula." Becky's eyes widened at Hugh's explanation. There was someone out there who had their own Mr. Hyde! "Does Dr. Jekyll know about Lucian?" Becky asked in an urgent tone. The others gave a nod. "Yeah, he is aware of Lucian. He is also aware of the man having his own variation of the HJ7 formula though he isn't entirely sure how it is possible." Jenkins explained. "Listen, Becky. We really need to get in touch with your dad. It's difficult to explain but Lucian had nearly gotten physical with Hugh. We need to tell your dad what we know and what happened. Alan couldn't fly to Henry's house since it would have caused some alarm and we know the others are still recovering from Athena's attack. That is why he contacted you." Patricia explained in a serious tone. Becky nodded as she understood the gravity of the situation. "Okay, I'll get my dad." The heroine then took off back to Dr. Jekyll's apartment. "Where did your daughter run off too?" Gabriel asked. "Oh, she remembered she had to go outside and call her uncle Alan and let him know she couldn't spend the night at his and Hugh's home this Friday since personal things came up." Dr Two Brains quickly explained. Utterson looked surprised at the response. "She had to take her phone call outside." The lawyer exclaimed with a slightly suspicious tone. Two Brains internally panicked. 'Why can't this guy be as dumb as the rest of the civilians in this city.' "Oh well it was special bonding family thing they had this weekend though Becky is no longer feeling up to it. She and her uncle Alan have unique traditions that are not meant for other ears to hear. It shouldn't take to long for Becky to speak with Alan." Two Brains exclaimed. Henry seemed to catch onto the hidden meaning of his boyfriends' words and decided to help cover for him. "It's a strange but endearing characteristic that my boyfriend's family has. They like to keep their personal businesses private, even if it is just regular, family matters." Henry added. Gabriel looked a bit confused but quickly shook it off for now. "If you say so, Henry." He then turned to Dr. Two Brains. "So your brother is dating Dr. Mann?" Gabriel asked Two Brains shook his head. "No, Alan is dating Hugh, but he isn't my brother. He is technically my brother-in-law. He is Becky's mom's sibling." The mad scientist corrected. In what seemed to be a short amount of time, Becky returned inside. "Hey, kiddo. How did your talk with Uncle Alan go on the phone?" Dr. Two Brains inquired. Becky greeted her dad with a smile but Two Brains and Henry could tell that it was faked. "It went well, but he wanted me to let you know to turn on your phone. Hugh and the other four have been trying to reach you and see how you were doing." Becky respond. Two Brains looked embarrassed and quickly pulled out his phone to turn it on. His eyes widened as he saw the missed calls. "Oops. Sorry. I turned my phone off because I was having a conversation with Henry and didn't want to be disturbed." Two Brains exclaimed. @unhingedexperimenter
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I haven’t posted art in forever, (I am currently working on art tho!! It’s just taking me a bit cuz.. job..) but! But… what about if instead of the art u guys came here for. I instead posted pictures of the cool lil outfits I’ve been wearing recently that im rlly proud of… what about that???
#part of the issue w art is also for some reason. FOR REAL. the default shit I want to draw is just ME. IN MY VARIOUS CUTE LIL OUTFITS#I’ve become a narcissist… a fashion obsessed narcissist.. i just want everyone to see and admire my cool fits…#I struggle. so much more drawing shit that is not me nowadays. and I have so much less free time#but then I don’t FINISH the pics of me cuz I’m like ‘this is too self indulgent!!! stop!! draw fanart!!#like a normal person!!! ghgh-‘#ur rlly gonna come back from an art hiatus w just a bunch of silly pics of u being cute… get a fucking grip..#uhhh.. but anyway lol#I am still drawing. I’m currently working on some expiremental lineless digital art#cuz I felt shaking stuff up might help#we shall see if I finish it tho!#it me#pepper words#anyway look at my fits#my one. 2 curses r in bad at taking pictures#and I live in a dingy basement so the lighting fucking SUCKS#u cannot see all the detail…. u cannot make out All of my lil accessories#it’s sad…#all these outfits r very black and white i do in fact wear colors… mostly red. n green#but I am rlly In my aristocratic vampire / witch era right now… and I’m loving it…#middle 2 pics r the same outfit. just w and without cloak lol#also pls do me a kindness and ignore my messy ass room#lady outfit is actually my most recent and my room HAS gotten less messy! I cleaned it up!#but it’s still kinda. got some clutter lol#*last outfit. not lady outfit ghghg- these r gender neutral femme leaning outfits I’ll have u kno typo!!#also pls ignore the shit on my mirror!! the lil white speckles and stuff! I rlly gotta fucking clean that.. if I wanna keep taking cute#pictures of my outfits lol… I mean. it’s not MY mirror so I don’t think to clean it.. but it is in my living space…#mayhaps… I should clean it lol
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Someone who constantly embarks on ship wars and fandom wank... doesn't sound too mentally stable. It's sad, really.
Dedicating all that energy and free time to arguing about fictional characters and their relationships, instead of channeling it into something more relaxing or creative, sounds destructive.
Seek help, please. Before it devours you completely.
#ship wars#fandom wank#fandom discourse#i posted one of my gaming gifs on twt yesterday#where my favorite character has been modded over another#the tweet of mine blew up overnight and has already gotten more engagement there than here (unsurprisingly)#and someone came to my replies with a crying emoji that it's not really that character#honestly. you don't say. there's a mod hastag. but it's not really that. i ignored them for now because the reply wasn't even that bad but#the scary thing is: i actually recognized their username#and once i did my blood nearly froze#lately i've seen this person twt a lot. constantly in other people's tweets and bothering everyone#hating on my favorite characters and relationships and trying to 'debunk' some canon interactions between characters#and they don't even have that many followers on twt (a little over 1k) but they've been in everyone's tweets in that fandom lately#so i checked their acc after that reply and a lot of their recent tweets were about that war too#and i was like. oh my god. they found me#bitch i'm famous? lmao#anyway i might just ignore them from now on. maybe even block them if push comes to shove#they didn't say anything that bad to me (for now) but this could become a problem later and i do not have the energy for it#like seriously. if this is all you do in your spare time. it's not healthy#i should know lmao
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#‘out of nowhere’ she says like she hasn’t been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#it’s been over two years since the last time we talked… absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! there’s a lot of things i used to like about myself that i don’t think i’m ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole ‘maybe i could make things right’ song and dance 😔#the thing is most of the time i’m not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the ‘that’s really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldn’t have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?’#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope she’s gotten some of her shit worked out#so i’m not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i can’t think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so 🙃#i don’t actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasn’t crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just don’t see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet… the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger person…#caseyposting
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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actually writing some words everyone say thnak you ultra fantasy ruby red monster energy
#it's been so bad lately. no fucking words in my head. but now there are some#are they good? that's a different question. that's a problem for editing me.#i think it helps that i've recently gotten a bunch of really nice comments on my fics in the last couple days#so if that's someone who follows me here tysm!!#writing liveblog
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1000 Followers Update!
Due to some super fun chronic health shenanigans, the posting for the 1000 Followers Celebration is being postponed a month! Posting will start on 2/2 with to all the ghost still standing in this room, and continue as previously planned from there. Thank you guys for bearing with me-- I struggled with the idea of even postponing for a week, but it became very clear on Monday that I would not be able to catch up with the schedule unless I took an extended break to recover. Can't wait to show you guys what I've got up my sleeve!
#1000 followers#i don't talk much about my illness struggles on here because without a word count limit#i would absolutely write myself into a terrible spiral talking about some of the very recent setbacks#but I do weekly goals up on twitter and I often talk about what's going on there#so it's only fair that i explain a bit in some tag chatter where i have to stay on task#to start: i'm fine and I'm going to be quick to recover now that i've gotten my meds#but due to all sorts of insurance bullshittery that has occurred since september/october#my last three infusions have been over a week late. two of them have been nearly two weeks or over#and coupled with a particularly nasty stomach bug + christmas stress#i ended up with extremely bad exhaustion and brain fog#and on monday finally flared#thankfully i was able to move my infusion up a day so I only had to wait until wednesday#and me and my husband had planned that I would be out of commission for the 10 days my meds were overdue#so I just had to triage my commitments and lay low until they could get me what i needed#it's been two days and i'm doing much much better. back to a place where I can actually write#probably at a better place than i have been since the beginning of December since today I nearly blew through 1K without even trying#but it's been 2-3 weeks of barely being able to scratch out what i consider my minimum#and then a week and change of not being able to even READ without it overwhelming me#so i finally had to face the music of: not only can I NOT do this on time but I need fully shift it#so that I can work without stressing myself or my limits#i am a rat gnawing at the bars of my little rat cage over it but it is what it is#tldr; i'm here i'm fine i just have to accept my human limitations and i don't like it
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there is undeniable opportunity to make bellum x linebeck fucked up but i dont have it in me. im a sucker for it just being fine with a side of like. light nautical crimes against nature but i cant make it toxic or w/e after a certain point. theyre chilling
#bellum x linebeck#salty talks#this is a light hearted post btw this is me celebrating enjoying making it soft at the end of the#the fucked up stuff is reserved for whatever happens during possession and also when theyre not romantically involved#ie. a lot of my aus. tbh tho they do also border on romantic? in a ‘canon’ ph or ph adjacent setting theyre just chilling#theres nothing straight up like really toxic with those bc 1 not my thing and 2 woulsnt really add anything imo#like i do think they can just strike up an agreement to not screw with each other and bellum figures he doesnt need to mess with linebeck#its the bonus of bellum can’t verbally communicate without showing that he has a human form#anyways. ive decided i cant actually warch gravity falls until i finish the fic anyways#i need to be able to say i havent seen it while i write this fic. there are too many possible connections i need this#also like. the most impact gravity falls has actually had on my life has been me seeing those twink humanizations of bill years ago#and that therefore being the main fucking reason why ive been fighting tooth and nail to get to the bellum humanization i have now#that fucker has caused me so many problems and i only recently found out what his fucking voice sounds like#anyways surprise surprise the person writing this fic for self indulgent reasons is catering heavily to themselves#tbh in post this fic and post ph (where its less like theyre dating and more like he occasionally makes it a polycule)#all of the bad shit is gotten out of the way before anything actually starts#with the aus where its a little more fucked its more just like. homoerotic. with different relationships around it#THO i do feel like theres somehow a pressure to make it fucked up? cuz its the default yknow. but i dont rlly like that so no#i think its more interesting for the work to be put in for it to be decent. i mean square one is bellum using linebeck as disposable bait
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