#but it's about sending a message anyways
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The more we sit passive, the more they kill because they have no consequences.
SHOW THEM CONSEQUENCES.
i feel like the boeing whistleblower case should radicalize more people. a major airline company is producing planes with less and less regard for safety and it's starting to get noticeable. man takes them to court, which would reduce profit at the cost of public safety. he fucking dies the night that boeings legal team asks him to stay an extra day. if nothing happens about this, i hope it gets through to people that america would literally kill you for a few extra cents
#viva le resistance#no seriously maybe we should kill a few billionaires#brutally#no it's not gonna get their money back into society#but it's about sending a message anyways#...I'm dead serious. DEAD SERIOUS.#We need to kill them before they kill us first. It has genuinely come to that
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I recently had to do a project in one of my psych classes, and man, I knew that CBT was used for every little thing, but seeing over and over, "do CBT! CBT is the best for every mental illness!" was so jarring. I'm absolutely biased because of my own experiences, but I just don't think it's as universal a treatment model as it's touted.
If you didn't benefit from CBT, it's not because you're lazy or didn't try hard enough or lacked intelligence or foresight into your own needs. Frankly, it's a therapy model that (I think) shouldn't be the only readily-accessible model and among the only therapy models covered by insurance. Some of us should not be treated in a CBT model and that's okay. It's not a sign of poor character or unreasonable demands, and if you don't think it's a model that works for you, then it's your right to express that!
#mental health#mental health advocacy#it was just so annoying because every resource i could access for this project often ONLY recommended cbt and#that just doesn't seem helpful for a good chunk of people#because i know i never benefitted from that model of therapy#obligatory: i am not against this therapy. me having a negative experience with it is not indicative that i believe it should be abolished'#if it works for you: KEEP DOING IT. cbt is not inherently harmful for MANY people and it's a good and valuable tool for many#but the overemphasis of cbt as the Only Therapy Model You Need sends this message that YOU failed...#...if you don't miraculously recover with that therapy model. it often feels like you'll Fail Recovery/Therapy and you're now a Bad Person#i've tried for over a decade to stick out cbt with a dozen therapists to boot. so i think i know a thing or two about my experiences with it#and overall its an unimpressive model (for me) as someone whos had a history with abuse and miscellaneous mental knickknacks rattling around#it's also frustrating because i genuinely like psych and i love learning about people#it's just. i'm tired of only being exposed to cbt (because i hate it honestly)#i feel similarly about cbt as i do with sigmund fucking frued#anyway i just want other insane people (affectionate) to remember that they deserve to not beat themselves up over this#if you're an insane person reading this: i love you i love you i love you i love you#i will share a slice of cake and homemade bread with you <3
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can we stop the trend of putting traumatized and mentally unstable characters into romantic relationships as their “happy endings”?
#this is about catra but it’s also about hunter#THIS IS NOT WHAT THEY NEED.#they don’t need a badass girlfriend they need ✨THERAPY✨#stop acting like romance is a cure to mental health issues#it’s such a harmful message to send to kids#again props to steven universe future for being one of the only children’s shows that actually promote therapy#steven gets with connie ofc but he also takes the necessary steps to actual healing like seeing a therapist and moving out of his hometown#anyway yeah#as a psych major this trope kills me every time#i just had to rant#spop critical#toh critical
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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace
extras below the cut
sketch
closeups on my favorite panels
bonus: adios
#doodles#kingdom hearts#roxas#axel#olette#aromantic#asexual#aroace#do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel#ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you#also not tagging soriku and namixi#i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so#anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette#i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette#so let me clarify about this comic#im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before#im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts#thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes#im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while#anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive#sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow#this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled#drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024#btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately#schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time#i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times#alright i think thats it bye now
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I dont know if anyone posted this here already but a while ago the fandom start digging and found out that there is a huge chance that Sam have known Raleigh Ritchie music and have been a Jacob fan maybe since 2014. This bc Sam was in the same festival Raleigh Ritchie was performing. I think i even remember reading someone mentioning that they have friends in common too.
Not only that but Josh O'connor, Sam co-star in Riot Club (2014) added Raleigh Ritchie on a playlist he created in JULY 2016 called "Sam Reid"
I also remember of seeing a screenshot of jacob having the "Flume - Never Be Like You ft. Kai" in which Sam in the Music Video, on one of his playlists (i think it was also from 2014) but he have his playlists private now and i cannot find the tweet. So if he saw that MV maybe i also saw Sam back in 2014 🤡
This is some invisible red thread of fate sh*t going on right here 😱💀
Source: wolfganglestat, slaystat and nocontextIestat
#jam reiderson#jacob anderson#sam reid#raleigh ritchie#i think an anonymous sent me a message mentioning this but i accidentally deleted :/#bc there was another anonymous that sent me message that annoyed me#sorry to who it was. if you remember what you wrote pls send it again#anyway the comments 🤣#“Mind you he was with his boyfriend about to go watch his future husband perform...”#yap bc the fandom thinks sam dated both Douglas (2014) and Josh (2016)#if is truth i dont know. it's possible tho#also Josh added a new song called “cant do without you” to that playlist at the end of 2023 so wtf is going on here?#it was accidentally or he didn't move on? 🙃💀#dude why you have your playlist about sam public... with a song named “Desire” in it?!#someone need to cast Josh in iwtv. i would love to watch all hell break loose.#bc girl this is messy 💀
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do you have any thoughts on zelda not staying as a dragon? me personally I like it and am very cool with it mostly because I think zelda should get to be happy forever (and because I'm smart enough to know she changed back because of recall and not some ambiguous power of love lmao) but a lot of people seem to dislike that it made the draconification inconsequential?
i think there's like. some valid concerns surrounding inconsequentiality/"curing" the physical problems characters have as a way of giving them a "happy ending" but I think those concerns don't necessarily apply to totk in the way people seem to be applying them, especially irt zelda's draconification and link's arm.
most of the time when the criticism of this "magic cure" trope is applied to media, it's because the trope is used as a cure-all to erase a character's suffering or trauma and make them "normal" again, and often ignores the character development or themes of the story in favor of giving the character a happy ending. I don't think that applies to totk, though, because the "curing" link and zelda experience is both within the realm of possibility given the worldbuilding present in the game (recall could easily have done it, as you mentioned) AND thematically consistent with the rest of the game. One of if not the most important central themes of totk is the idea of failure and second chances. we see a hyrule that has been given a second chance after link's initial failure with the calamity brought it to the brink of destruction. we see characters who were deeply unhappy and entrenched in the shame of their precalamity mistakes like purah and zelda become active, beloved members of their communities. we see the people of lurelin village take back and rebuild their destroyed home. we watch this kingdom and its people make an unprecedented comeback after a century of struggle and ruin.
Similarly, totk's gameplay is LINK's second chance, his comeback from the initial mistake of losing zelda, of specifically being unable to reach her with his injured hand when they fell. The consequences of that--the master sword's corruption, the loss of his arm, and zelda's draconification, are all supposed to SEEM irreversible, because that's how LINK initially sees them. he believes that he doomed both himself and zelda all because of that SINGLE moment in which he wasn't enough, a viewpoint which is obviously left over from the pressure he experienced to perform to an impossible standard of perfection pre-calamity. The story of totk is about deconstructing that belief and proving it wrong. the mistake he made caused harm, but it's never too late to repair things. he can fix the regional phenomena ganondorf causes and rebuild those communities. he can revitalize the master sword. he can GET ZELDA BACK, with his own arm, uninjured and able to reach her this time. no matter how impossible those things may initially seem, no matter the perceived finality of his mistakes and their consequences, there is always hope. there is always a second chance. no one person's single mistake can doom an entire kingdom for eternity. the fate of hyrule was NEVER resting on link's shoulders alone. he was never their final hope. there was always going to be an after. the whole POINT of the draconification and the loss of link's arm is that they AREN'T final. they ARE inconsequential, because they were born of one mistake and ONE MISTAKE IS NOT THE END ALL.
#like. think about the message the game sends if zelda stays a dragon. we are saying that link CAN'T come back from this mistake.#that one single split-second moment in which he made the wrong move because he had no way of knowing what to do#means that the one person who understands and supports him above all else. the one person who shares his experience and his trauma#the woman he LOVES. is gone forever with no hope of return ever and it's 100% his fault.#that's not true to the themes of botw OR totk. these games are about growth and healing and second chances.#this game was link learning that he gets a second chance. that no move he makes is the final be-all-end-all fuckup.#it removes the pressure and that's the POINT. for a character like link whose life has been DEFINED by pressure#who was taught from a horrifically young age that any wrong move on his part would KILL EVERYONE HE KNEW AND LOVED#this is such an important lesson to learn. removing that pressure/showing him that it was never actually real in the first place#is a crucial step towards healing for him.#asks#zelda analysis#totk spoilers#like i like the idea of lasting consequences dont get me wrong. <draconic features zelda enjoyer#but like. making link keep the fucking rauru arm rubs me the wrong way. the whole point is that he caught her with his own hand in the end#ugh. anyway. you get the idea
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It's a thing I already knew but all your beautiful analysis really made obvious (to me) how much of a grudge holder vale is. That man is never letting it go he's gonna hold his grudges into his grave
you know, I do think this is an interesting issue, because I'm not sure this is true of all his grudges. just sticking here with the grudges he accumulated in his capacity as a competitor, rather than just his general approach to life or whatever... how you judge this will kinda depend on how you feel about the 'reconciliation' he's experienced with some of his rivals - and whether you read the whole thing as sincere or not. now, personally I reckon he still dislikes biaggi, but also you are allowed to just dislike people so I'll give him a pass for that. some of the others, I'm a little more convinced by the whole reconciliation schtick
let's get valentino's take:
interesting that he mentions those three together, isn't it? and like, he's still not messaging biaggi or inviting him to his home - "even with max" kind of tells you all you need to know - but the other two? they said some proper nasty things to each other over the years!! I mean, the casey rivalry, there's some remarks from both sides where quite frankly I think I would struggle just a touch to get over it
I don't know, obviously this could all be pr stuff, but I kind of feel like... y'know, why bother? it's 2022, you're retired, who gives a fuck? sure it's a good look to be all magnanimous, sure it can be a bit of a way of twisting in the knife to the guys left in the cold, but also, who would care if you don't play nice? I think especially with jorge, you surely don't need to do all that, inviting him to your home and dancing with him... (which, again, some of the spats those two had...) and with the casey rivalry, if there's one guy who's still hung up about what happened between the pair of them, it's obviously casey (speaking of blokes who can hold a grudge). maybe this is giving valentino too much credit, but personally I buy it's more or less sincere. there's nothing to really indicate he's still particularly bothered by any of their past disagreements - he's basically going for the 'all's fair in love and motorcycle racing' approach. he knows he was an asshole, he accepts they were assholes too, whatever, that's how these things work. he's generally a fan of drama in rivalries, unsurprisingly, and he was happy enough to contribute his fair share - but he does see it as fundamentally being part of the game
to point out the obvious, check out who he's left out: sete and marc. that's where he can't let go of the grudges... because it's not about the offence itself as much as it is about the betrayal. this is the thing with valentino, right, it's about what kind of bond you had with him. if you weren't his friend in the first place and then piss him off as a rival then, y'know, whatever. obviously he's going to be vicious in trying to get back at you, but also he's really not going to waste his time feeling too aggrieved by it. I mean, think about how all the bullshit between him and casey dropped off sharply post-2012... from valentino's end anyway. think about how jorge and valentino pretty quickly got on again whenever they weren't fighting for supremacy within yamaha. they weren't friends in the first place, then they were enemies for competitive reasons for a while there, then it's over and valentino is basically happy enough to call it bygones
but... if it's a certain kind of bond you had with him and then you wrong him... that little mental list of all his past grievances, all your past transgressions, that's where it comes in. that's where he ices you out. denies you any emotional warmth. ensures that any interaction going forward is conducted entirely on his terms. where even any public 'reconciliation' won't truly be sincere.... or, certainly he's not going to forget what happened. if something else happens... it's like you've always got the potential of triggering this lingering resentment, in a way, where all that past stuff is still primed and ready to be called upon. he certainly doesn't just let it go
or, as he puts it in his autobiography:
Biaggi and I never talk to each other. I mean, we've never had a real conversation, anything that's lasted more than the requisite time to insult each other or put each other down, in the nastiest way possible. In any case, I don't hate him. It's true, we've never been friends, but hatred is something different, and that's too serious a word to describe our relationship. Far too serious. No, we have a reciprocal antipathy. No doubt this is a result of what we do for a living and the fact that we both want to win every single time. And perhaps it's also a function of the fact that we have very different personalities and very different ways of seeing things. Still, I don't think this means we hate each other, as some journalists have written. I think I could feel hatred for someone, but only for someone far worse than anything Biaggi has done. For example, if I were betrayed by a friend, then, yes, I could hate him. But Biaggi will never betray my friendship for the simple reason that we are not, and never have been, friends. Our relationship is very clear: we compete on the track - outside the track, each goes his own way. You could say we detest each other cordially.
... I mean. he said it, not me. and given this book was first published in '05... biaggi can't betray his friendship because they were never friends... I'm not saying he's thinking about sete, but it has to at least be a possibility, right? he's talking about one rivalry here and refusing to even mention the other... and the one he's refusing to mention is the one where he was friends with the other bloke. I don't know, maybe that's reading too much into it! and anyway, even if this passage wasn't really about sete, it's obviously still revealing. "detest each other cordially" is essentially what he was doing with casey and jorge (or from his point of view in any case, not entirely sure they'd agree with that). the grudge comes when he feels let down by you... and then, yes, he'll never let it go
of course, he's willing to set aside his grievances for a while if there's sufficient motivation for him to do so. in 2009, when he had so definitively won that rivalry with sete, why bother kicking up a fuss? in 2016, quite frankly it was just too much, and it was getting to the point where it was obviously hurting him too. on the one hand there was the media furore that had been going on non-stop since sepang, on the other hand it was also hurting his own approach to racing. there's reports from the time how visibly aggrieved he still was in the first few races of the season, and it took until they got back to europe for him to... y'know, have fun again. it's not sustainable to be walking around with a constant dark cloud over your head and broadcasting burning resentment towards your two main rivals. certainly not for someone like valentino - he needs to be having fun! the slight rapprochement needed to happen, in a way, because otherwise those years would have been even worse for everyone involved. but that doesn't actually translate to forgetting any of those grudges. this is about convenience more than anything else
goes to show, really... most of the time he doesn't take these things personally. I talked about it a bit in this post, how maybe it's also something that changed over time for him: the question of whether he was willing to develop these kinds of bonds in the first place with competitors... because he does possess a certain level of self-awareness in terms of what these kinds of rivalries are like and what they do to interpersonal relationships. ideally, you don't want to be hurt by a friend like that, right? better not to have that kind of emotional attachment with your competitors in the first place. how unfortunate it'd be if all those years after sete the circumstances aligned for him to see a competitor as something like a friend again... because, after all, those are the only people who could betray him. those are the only people where he thinks he could truly hate them
#this response kinda got away from me a little bit but I wrestled it to a stop before it really went on a tangent#we were this close to a sepang 2016 sidebar#anyway listen I restricted this to how he conducts himself *in competition* for a reason so y'know. I do think it's a difference#ugh this is tied very closely to another post in my drafts that ideally I'd link to but one of these has to be posted first so#anitalianfrie#valentino rossi#rosquez#kinda maybe#//#4693#sg15#i do frequently think about casey messaging valentino about his daughter btw....... kills me a little#but also again when I get to the casey thesis this is like a big pillar of it - this slight disconnect within casey#he was still slagging off valentino the rider on a 4hr podcast like a year after he's sending him a bunch of messages about his daughter#he's still slagging off valentino THIS YEAR. they're very funny to me. I can buy valentino can separate these things out#but casey? very interesting of him#I think it's actually kinda notable how little valentino has relitigated past grievances post retirement when compared to his rivals#With One Notable Exception. I do feel like at a certain point of fame and success you should try and be above this kind of thing#but I mean there is a universe where valentino is calling casey weak for laguna or whatever in 2024#batsplat responds#idol tag#brr brr
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Hi I think you are a very stupid invidiual who in an ideal world would be put in a Punishment Sphere from Sid Meiers Alpha Centuri
? why did you feel the need to send this?
#what a nice message to wake up to.#(vbros monarch voice) “this is waaay to high school for me”#you know. the funniest foil to this message is that#one of my longest lived friends online mirry who ive known for over a decade now#last night talked about their feelings about the election and the fallout and told me#“anyway i'm sorry to blab about this with u ur just like. one of the most intelligent people i know”#and it really warmed my heart and i felt it because theyve known me for so long#i dont even know who you are#and you dont even know who i am#so again: what in the world compelled you to send this. it’s really immature#like i thought it was a joke but then i saw your blog and im like oh i guess it’s serious
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2023 vs 2021 let’s GOOOOOO
drew this after 1. seeing the Barbie movie and 2. Rewatching a play through of zero escape series
man. Luna deserves so much better
#digital art#luna zero escape#luna vlr#vlr spoilers#virtues last reward#not exactly sure how to trigger tag for the first piece since it’s sort of trippy and maybe kinda horror#anyways send me a message if I miss something#trippy#horror#anyways I’ve been thinking a lot about luna and her relation to both human and gaulem and I love her dearly#kinda wanted to draw something about it also wanted to try some new brushes#also was wildly inspired by some really good surreal Akane art I saw#ze artists I love u all#zero escape#zero escape spoilers#the nonary games#the nonary games spoilers#ze vlr#ze vlr spoilers#virtues last reward spoilers
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it's less us adopting you and more like a-yuan where you ran up to us in a busy marketplace (tumblr tags/dashboard) and latched onto our legs with vengeance and adopted us into your chaos (but like in a good way)
Mutually Assured Adoption. We will take to the town and cause havoc
#ask#non mdzs#In my defense I *did* tag my posts with 'poorly-drawn-mdzs' specifically so ppl could filter it out of the main tag#It's like I'm a cool rat in the market that started doing a little dance for cheese crumbs#and then everyone started calling over their friends to watch The Cool Rat dance for cheese#Now I got all this cheese and I want to share it! I don't know what cheese is in this analogy#anyways. Thank you all for letting me scamper around your dashboards.#I'm very very picky about who i follow (my criteria is mysterious to even me) so i have very few mutuals#but tbh If I recognize your name in my notifs....you're a friend to me B'*) and there are so many of you!#I am finally free to start drawing more so I hope to give back a little doodle to all the kind messages ppl have been sending these last..#2.5 months......aurgh
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here we are again with another 'here is my tag for spoilers, you've been warned' message!
I will tag for until roughly the end of the year, using the tag #Veilguard Spoilers.
Both tumblr's own built in features and Tumblr Savior can block tags. Use this feature.
#I will also likely tag as 'dragon age spoilers' as well but veilguard spoilers was according to someone at bioware the trending hashtag so..#if you think you'll be able to get a digital one up by sending me spoilers or what the fuck EVER just... idgaf about spoilers so whatever#without fail any big game drops I get like 3 anons in with the spoilers and I'm like ??? waste of a message tbqh#ANYWAYS#dragon age#edits24#mostly just to have it in one of my main tags#I will reblog this a few times over the next month#and then reblog it a few times the night before release#oh! you are free to reblog this if you want I can even release the template if people need to make their own??
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Once I finish redesigning the UTY cast and I can finally continue the Decaying Deputy AU it's fucking over for ya'll
#But have some wholesome shit for now with the new au i made#I have so much shit I need to do for college I already have a test this week the fug?? AHHAHAHAAH#*My manager just watching me tweak and grow more concerned every time I send him a new voice message*#i should be doing an assi OH MY GOD HE JUST MESSAGED ME RN THE TIMING I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT HIM HAHAHHAHA#anyway uhhhh as I was saying i should be doing an assignment rn but I feel like yapping#ok bye#LM whispers
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Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶
First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.
As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.
Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.
Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.
This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!
But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.
At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.
So, what can you expect in the near future?
I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.
Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕
#long post#info#marco lore#i wish i had time to edit this and make it nice#i just wanted to be open with yall about how much work this takes and that im trying to make it more doable#i don't want to overpromise stuff with patreon or shops and if im late sending stuff i never ever want it to come off as intentional or mali#malicious or as a scam#im just trying very hard to like ...survive. financially. and then trying to make all the logistics of thos big machine work. and then keep#up with commissions and shops and printing and mailing#god i wish i had employees but jts just me#i hand draw everything and then post it here to the word press to the ig and crop and caption and tag#then to the Patreon if it makes sense to or to the tiktok back in the day#and the formatting is all different#and i get messages across all of these platforms and I'm trying to learn a new way of painting on the fly#on top of that im supposed to be running my two Etsy shops too which im not right now because..broadly gestures#my nervous system can only take losing a job so often. the rug was really pulled feom under me in this one. i thought id have more time#i don't want to sound like I'm whining and i don't want to give up on all of this#i want to be very very very clear that art is what i love and who i am and what i want to do#i want to be posting on the daily again#i just need to evaluate what that looks like everytime life changes#I'm seriously so grateful for those of y'all that have joined the Patreon or bought stuff from the shop i really don't mean to drop the ball#so many times#y'all have literally been the difference between me making rent or not and I'm so worried that i don't make enough art to give back to that#relationship#im trying my best#okay anyways im posting this
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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me & you & the son we used to have [from nov/2023]
second image is based on this fanfic by snap which you should totally go read
#jo sawashiro#sawashiro jo#ikumi (like a dragon)#...i'm just going to assume she's too niche to have an established tag#like a dragon#yakuza 7#yakuza 7 spoilers#rgg7#jichanart#my first art of kid sawashiro....#and i actually really enjoyed drawing ikumi?#i used references are you proud of me#anyway this probably fits the ig post format better than tumblr but it is what it is#i saw “polaroid” and was like (point) MASATO BOX IMAGERY#i have so many feelings about this concept in general though...#the passing of time... the simultaneous intimacy and distance between ikumi and jo at their shared experience...#i should probably. have tagged or messaged the author that i made art of their fic but. i have anxiety lol#it feels too cocky to go up to someone whose work you really enjoy and go “okay now look at MY WORK”#so just sending good vibes in their general direction telepathically#fic:for others
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also, the triumvirate is now complete
#wwdits#hey memo I need to make a pilgrimage to A You Place gimme one#I've already been to wicked and I've blocked 4.09 out anyway so that won't do#I want something ~uniquely memo~#god though the trouble I had to go to to find this painting#like I'm a wwdits nerd and all but i also genuinely love that painting and really wanted to see it#the detail work on the fabric is fucking exquisite#but that became An Adventure#maybe I'll make a post about it#the people on IG kept sending me messages like DID YOU FINALLY SEE HER??#I did!!! kind of!!!#I had to be the world's biggest pain in the ass and also Kind of Sneaky but
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