#but it'll still cost me
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Hey so⊠guess who had the worst fucking luck?
It me! No nothing was stolen, nothing was missing. I dont have anything in my car to steal and I use a seat belt lock after a car was stolen in my neighbourhood. I just walked outside to see this. Glass was inside and outside so who knows what happened?
But I can't really afford to replace it. My parents are willing to help but like I will still be in the red plus I haven't gotten full time hours for a while (and may not because my company sucks).
If anyone can donate anything I would be so thankful as I look for a full time job now that I'm graduated.
#help#kofi#car window#broke#I literally am in the red for money#parents can lend a hand#but it'll still cost me#anything helps
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Trans? Need a Name?
i will fucking name you hmu
Edit: istg y'all if you want a name ask for one via reblogs and at the very least tell me your gender or pronouns Im not scrolling through all the damn comments and looking at your bio looking for basic info names are reblog only from this point forward (& I probably won't get to it bc I never check my tumblr)
#âoh but a name is so personal how can you name a stranger?â I'm your fucking dad now. I'm gonna name my fucking kids and you cant stop me#if youre trans and already have a name but still want a mostly deadbeat internet dad that works too#i can send you a shitty lil digital card at the holidays it'll be great#if you want a more personalized name (i.e. not a random name that pops into my head but a name w a specific meaning theme etc)#i will do it but itll cost you like 1-5 dollars idk#i need an outlet for naming things other than pets stuffies and myself#im this close to making my middle name Sievert-Nathaniel-Russel#and thats too many fucking names for a middle name#imagine trying to get that monogrammed#it's five names in total it would be a fucking nightmare#thats why i have to name you ppl now#queer#genderqueer#genderfaun#transgender#ftm#nonbinary#transmasc#trans#lgbtqia#transfemme#trangender#transfem#genderfluid#name suggestions#naming#trans names
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"dull knives aren't safe they're more dangerous than a sharp knife!"
tell that to my now 5+ scars from ultra sharp fillet knives
#I gave myself two the other day at the docks lmao#user error#yes ikik but if you put a sharp knife in my hand it'll generally end with the other hand being cut so badly I'd get stiches if not for#american health care costs#me sleeping with my hand elevated and bandaged and it's still bleeding when I wake up#actually one is also from a cheese grater that might not have scarred if I hadn't ripped the scab off on something
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Where should you be kissed?
Knuckles. it feels as though you have fought every day of your life. sometimes, you cannot even tell how much of the blood on your hands is your own... and how much comes from those who've tried to hurt those you defend. you deserve the gentleness of a kiss to your bruised knuckles and broken skin, a reminder that you are not only made of violence.
[stolen from templeofvengeance; tagging you]
#ooc#dash game#[putting my haterism aside for one (1) minute to say this: I understand where Miguel's actions and vitriol come from. He's right in mental#rock bottomâ to himâ Miles is anomaly 001â a stressor that refuses to follow his assigned worldview-- if not all of 1610 somehow still#existing after Miles *supposedly* fucked it upâ at his wit's end running the Societyâ endlessly reliving his grief/never letting it healâ#and once he actually MEETS himâ he probably reminds him too much of himself: stubbornâ over his head but refusing to back downâ#an endless desire to DO GOOD but not knowing how or what to do. And that scares him. Because if heâ the anomalyâ the first cosmic flawâ#WINSâ is rightâ it'll upend his entire worldview. Everything he's fought forâ ruthlessly enforcedâ staked the Society as a whole in.#This isn't me being an apologist btw; I'd love nothing more than to throttle his ass. But... but but but.#Somewhere in that endless lattice of bitingâ ready temper and dourness and utter dogmatism to the point he refuses to CONSIDER other views#is an extremely grief-strickenâ lonelyâ stressed to hell and back man with enough emotional baggage to fill a cargo hull. Who THINKS he's#doing goodâ WANTS to do good on a large scaleâ no matter the costâ the burdenâ the filth he has to endlessly wash his hands of.#And that's what makes him the topic of some weird fucked up obsession of mine in spite of my simultaneous HATRED of him]#[hey here's a drink if u read this farđ»]
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Would you consider yourself to be a Yakumo connoisseur? Because I would pay to see you rank and review all of Yakumo's rooms. Your thoughts and ramblings are very fun to read.
**coughs up a bit of blood**
[dabs at my mouth with a small towel] although i ..HAVE seen, uh, every yakumo room I CANNOT CONSIDER MYSELF necessarily a connoisseur because uhhh the magic of subjectivity is that we can all be exposed to the same media, and yet interpret it vastly differently so!!! who's to say what makes someone a yakuconnoisseur or a yakudabbler..!!!
......... tho you probably agree with many of my interpretations if you think my words are fun to read.... err...... [CLANGS MY METAL CUP AGAINST THE BARS OF THE JAIL CELL] WELL, PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR TYPING FINGERS ARE , buDDY cuz THOSE wORDS r gonna COST YA
#more like.. they would cost me an indeterminate amount of time#IF I HAD TO RANK AND REVIEW EVERY YAKUROOM FSLJFRAKW#it would take me weeks to compile all my thoughts#i can try to fool myself and say 'hahaha oh i'll just type up my thoughts without a filter it'll be soooo easy'#but i know. an hour in. it's gonna be screenshots and captions and arrows pointing to dicks and FAR too many linking words#total projected usage count of the words 'like/and/uh': 800000+#although the idea of ranking and reviewing every single room is a daunting task#i can still do a smaller task for ya!! something within my ability!! how about...#if you want to request a specific room i can ramble about THAT one!#or if you can't decide... idk... you can give me a few choices and i'll pick my fave out of those to ramble about??!#feesh answer
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My sample pins arrived!! đ€©đœđ°
The other three in the Summer Blubbin' set are drying bc the pinbacks came off with their rear protective sheets and I had to glue them back on. đ I'm pretty happy with their sizes overall! Bogos binted came out kind of large and the raygun came out kind of small by comparison though, so I'll probably see what I can do to fix them. And with the Blubby pins, I might lower the opacity of her blush, it printed kinda dark.
In addition to these I got a few extra designs for funsies. Some TMBG pins based off the Hotel Detective MV for my friends and I who are going to see them this year!! đ€© One with that WTTH photo I did a redraw of, just for me. And two JFKs (Clone High) bc I thought they'd make funny collar pins hehe. I keep meaning to watch the new season but I want to watch the original again first... hard to find the time!!
#I have drafts for a bunch of the other original clones too. Maybe sometime down the line I could do em all up.#I think they'd be kinda niche for the events I table at tho???? đ#I've been having a rough month so these cheered me up today... :')#Further rambles here in the tags:#I'm still waiting for the mini gacha machines I ordered to ship out... im so impatient haha. but im so anxious about them too lol.#worrying theyre going to cancel the order or something đšđ idk!!!#ill tell you what though. next time im doing acrylic pins these badboys are going on clear acrylic.#get the fun coloured acrylic he said. it'll look great he said.#it does look great. but the cost is crazy compared to clear. especially bc there are two colours#i know the alien backing colour looks kinda orange but theyre pink!!#also not sure about this but im considering producing the summer blubbin set at all???#or maybe doing that set down the line. just bc the aliens kicked their ass on every interest poll i did LMFAO#or maybe even swapping their backing from orange to the same pink the aliens are on???? đ€đ€đ€#many things to consider#grafftalk
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well this sucks
#my chrome book is reaching the end of its natural lifespan#Ive gotten it to last like more than a couple years at this point#but chrome books are pretty much awful devices#so I need to go out and get a laptop that's NOT a chrome book#but for one thing I've literally never owned a laptop that's not a chrome book#I saved up and bought my current chrome book for like freshman year of highschool#I waited for a memorial day sale and special pricing so I could get it on like three discounts#so aside from the cost I have *no* idea where to go about buying a new laptop#I need one that's pretty sturdy at least and preferably similar size to a chrome book#I like the way I can charge things by attaching them to my Chromebook I like the way the keyboard is set out and I like that the touch-#screen and keypad aren't that sensitive#so I need to a) find a new laptop b) have the money to buy that laptop and c) learn how to use that laptop#none of which are things that I'll be particularly good at#I just want my 130 dollar old enough to be in elementary school hunk of plastic to work forever is that to much to ask#I've actually gotten it to live much longer than normal lmfao#really hoping it'll stay functional for at least another month or two#I hate getting new tech#Iâve still got an iPhone 8 for heavens sake#You can pry it out of my cold dead hands#I should probably get a new one but like. This one works pretty much.#Nothings cracked it charges fine all the buttons work#Honestly Iâd prefer a phone a shade older than this one with a seperate headphone Jack#Basically the whole design of new phones is anti-me#Wide flat smooth super thin light and easily breakable#Plus I donât have confidence that everything on this phone would transfer over. And this is literally the only phone Iâve ever owned#This thing is a treasure trove
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how do you find a job when
you have no proper experience
you have no diplomas
you have no training in anything
you don't have a driving license
you need your job to be part-time but they're harder to find
you need your job to involve as little contact with customers as possible
you need a job that doesn't require you to take/make phonecalls
you have rejection sensitivity that makes you want to cry and sends you in a spiral of anxiety at the slightest negative remark from both colleague and client, even if they're not being mean about it
you have undiagnosed adhd which makes you unable to take up any training/studies because you just can't get yourself to start something that you're not deeply interested in, and even then it can still be a struggle to focus on learning/studying because your brain just Doesn't Want To no matter how much you do
you are terrified of the plague but no one else gives a shit anymore and you're too chicken to stand up for yourself over wanting to mask amongst people who will either straight up not allow it or make you feel shitty/weird for it
honestly i feel like i could've figured something out with the program the unemployment office is putting me in, i really think it could help me, but then worldwide plague denial happened, so even that program is scary and stressful now :)
the dream would be an entirely remote part-time job but they're much less common in my country, and when there's one I'm not qualified and the amount of tasks to do makes me feel super overwhelmed
#bee rants#i'm so lucky that my apartment is ours so when my dad passes away it'll be mine#but i'll still have food and bills to pay and i'll have to pay for my sister's share of the apartment so i can't stay like this forever :')#except in april i haven't had any income since october and it's the worst....i need a job#the unemployment office sent me on that one program for people with mental and/or physical disabilities and i'm gonna be given an internshi#but it's unpaid and the plague problem remains and the therapist I'm assigned to was even like 'we'll work on that' and i'm just like#I don't want to work on that????#y'all are the ones who are delusional. i'm the reasonable one for wanting to keep wearing a mask here!#i also want to finally get a diagnosis but it costs money and I'm Scared and even people in medical settings look at me weird for masking#maybe i'm just lazy and a coward and trying to find excuses
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itâs been a hellish last couple months dealing with being caught in the crossfire between incompetent rental car agency that is mad at me and incompetent car insurance company that didnât tell me the person handling my claim fucking QUIT and MY CLAIM WENT FORGOTTEN FOR MONTHS and it still isnât resolved in fact things have gotten worse and tbh, when i have major stressful setbacks in life, my body and brainsâ response is to just. not. do anything. just shut down. intense fatigue, inability to focus on literally anything because the background level of stress is so high.
#bro im gonna cry#fucking got blacklisted from one of the largest rental car companies in this country and it is apparently#impossible to get off the 'do not rent' list#whats making me more upset is that i literally called them the day the windshield cracked i got things sorted out before i even dropped the#car off and still shit is so far out of my control and now i'm stuck with all these repercussions that shouldn't have happened if my#insurance that i pay a hell of a lot of money for wasn't so incompetent#bro apparently even my ROOMMATES can get blacklisted for sharing an address with me#worse yet payment has been sent out but the company is still going 'fuck you pay me killyourself never talk to us again once u pay this'#i can't get ahold of the DRU person in charge of my claim on their end to find out what happens#so it might end up going to collections anyway which will perma fuck up my credit score which i've been trying. so hard. to raise.#being an adult is a fucking nightmare i want to sleep i can't focus for longer than 5 minutes on anything before i start getting that dread#its so frustrating i can't enjoy my hobbies i can't enjoy my work (which is going well right now) bc i'm so stuck on this i need this to go#away so i can regain my brain's normal functioning and yes i have anxiety this is the worst it's been in a while though#anyway sry for the venting i'll be fine it'll be fine my insurance WILL pay for this and things will be fine (probably) once that goes thru#not that it didn't add to my stress enough that my bp probably took another year off my life lbr#personal stuff#delete later i think#DO NOT rent a car without taking the damage waiver it doesn't matter how much it costs or if you have insurance just take the damage waiver#don't be me
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have cursed myself by being ambitious and trying to impress the wrong people
#like why did I apply for that internship#why did I get it?!#I'm gonna miss my bf sooo much#he finally told me he wanted to move in together#and a few days later I told him âhey I'm moving to another country! see you in six months!!â#ughhh I hate this#I know it's gonna look amazing on my cv/resume#and it'll probably be really exciting#but omg at what cost#at least my in laws were really impressed lol#and my coworkers#and my mum keeps bragging about me to everyone#but still is this really the kind of person I am#having an identity crisis over not choosing love as my main ambition has me in shambles ha don't mind me#just gonna go cry a bit more until my bf can't wait to get me out of his flat
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As difficult as it can be, if you haven't tied your livelihood or personal brand to a franchise in some way, i think it's best to cultivate a willingness to disengage from installments of an ongoing property that disappoint and upset you.
it's hard. ime, it's more energizing to hate on something that makes a mockery of your beloved. but like. idk to me, it feels like holding onto a cursed sword. it's more effective. but more draining. it disincentives putting it down the more you use it.
it's hard to tell with mixed installments where you like some parts and hate others, and god knows there's like a million memes about how good stuff gets a 'nice' before moving on and mediocre stuff that didnt live up to its promise inspires the most passionate fanbases in the world. but staying in a fandom while actively hating the current material is a terrible space for me and makes me feel worse about the time i spent on it and my own inability to let go and accept the end. if i'm at the point where i can only enjoy fanworks and not the thing itself, then i brought her back wrong and she was better dead.
ymmv tho.
#weirdly inspired by watching 3 mcyters in a row hate the stupid movie trailer then go 'well i gotta give it a chance' like#lads i know that's your job. the cost is sunk and this is how you make money.#but me personally. no i will not watch the fuckass overly-realistic minecraft movie#many such cases#i would have never guessed in my mid 20s which interests would still be there in my 30s and which would be long gone#i don't even like podcasts anymore! that was my whole fucking personality!#and yet i still watch one of the same lp channels regularly and still follow 2 others on and off#the fandoms i stayed in too long are the ones i feel actively bad about. the resentment stuck#like idk you can't really ask a tournament standard player to just not engage in new sets#but if you're a kitchen table player... no one's making you buy and opine on sets you can't stand#it'll be a distant memory with a calendar year i prom
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how dare they steal my car and not even tell me what's wrong
#i am being dramatic but i am without car which makes me Nervous#and they don't work weekends which i knew but i was hoping they'd call on Friday when i dropped it off but they didn't :(#so tomorrow at earliest is when I'll know what's wrong#and how much it'll probably cost to fix#still hoping for <$2k right now ;;;;;#please everything costs so much money#i stoill need a#ong#OMG#i can't even wash my cLOTHES I CAN'T DRIVE TO THE LAUNDROMAT UGH#FUCK#ok i REALLY could use a washer/dryer rn#damn :(#i could walk to the closer one in theory but hhhhhhhh#shit :(((((#i should figure out. how financing works.#so i can maybe finance the washer/dryer and actually get it#soon#i think i googled it and tge store will deliver/maybe install??? so plEASEREEE#shh ac
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I was curious about what my wage and time, plus materials, would bring the cost of a foundation paper pieced and handquilted king size quilt to...and...
Okay, anyone willing to pay this amount will be enough to convince to make something this...outrageous. it'll close commissions for a year or two, and require frequent breaks so I don't burnout.
$23,800 USD.
$27Ă 900 hours + cost of materials (batting alone will be around $100 for high quality, 25 yards of fabric will be about what i need, i'll kill several rotary blades with all the cutting, and likely go through at least two spools of thread) = final cost
That amount of money will be what it takes to convince me to make this. If you're willing to pay for one of these now, hmu. I'll make the listing.
If you want just a king size quilt top, that's still $6150 USD. I'll need around 25 yards of fabric, a couple spools of thread (or a cone), and two to three rotary blades. This will take around 200 hours for traditional piecing. Foundation paper piecing will add another 100-200 hours easily because I have to print each section of each block, cut them out, fold along the seam lines, cut all the fabric, sew the fabric to the paper, press each seam, trim, rinse and repeat many times, sew the blocks together, remove the paper (sooooo many pieces), make the rows, and sew the rows together. So foundation paper piecing will bring the top to $11,650. For just the quilt top.
If you're 100% certain you want a king size quilt, and you're able to pay, let me know. I'll put the commission listing up for you, and promptly close commissions until further notice.
Money is good incentive.
#words from the artist#disabling reblogs because this is still making my notifications explode and it's exhausting
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officially less than 150 days until I see metallica 1400 miles away and I do not have money, a job, a car, or a license, loud noises and being close to people give me panic attacks, bright lights and the smell of marijuana give me migraines, I am very afraid of fire, I haven't stayed in a hotel in over 6 years, I've left the house less than a dozen times since covid started, I got less than 5 hours of sleep every single day of february,
#they're early admission standing tickets that cost me $800#so obviously I need to end up there somehow#most of the time I do still feel like it'll all work out#but sometimes I do think about it a little bit and I'll realize hey maybe this isn't the most realistic thing in the world#then spiral and rant to the wind on tumblr#but I figure if I think about it too much then I start to have doubts#that's why I don't like to prepare for things#it's harder for things to go wrong if you have no expectations to meet and no plans to follow#I got that ticket december 2022 and I thought things would be different by now#I was wrong but I've still got 149 days left and bizarrely I've still got hope too#probably gonna update this every so often#just to track the nervous breakdown for future reference#that stuff's usually funny to look back on#yeesh
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I am campaigning so damn hard to get carpets put into this fucking basement so I don't have a Raynaud's flare up and have to bundle myself in 10,000 layers every time it snows.
#it'll still be cold down here but at least it'll help a little#honestly the real solution would be for me to finally move out#but with costs of living who the hell knows when that will be#hard wood floors are my greatest enemy i hate them so fucking much#i would rather scrub stains out of carpet than have to sweep/mop every fucking week#grrrrrrrrr#lily babbles
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Bad, bad, terrible awful day in a shitty, rotten, profoundly unfortunate year lmao
#8 months of discomfort and pain and waiting and I just have to get my goddamn tooth extracted anyway#And here's the kicker#It'll cost a grand and I still have to wait two months#Certainly there's more to life than pain and suffering??? Than waiting in aptly named waiting rooms??#Than getting ignored by the very healthcare providers who are supposed to help you??#Alexa play You're On Your Own Kid by Taylor Swift and play it on a fucking loop#I haven't felt this hopeless in like..... My entire life#This is hands down the unhealthiest year of my life and I'm so so tired#I don't know how much I have left in me gang#Nkp#Personal
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