#but it’s ok 👍 i’m going to leave soon

[mildmayfoxe]

sorry for your suffering (terrible workplace). you’re amazing and cool and you deserve better. water off a ducks back thursday friday 😔🤘

OOOH i’m fine i’m just complaining! it’s all good in the end. it’s my friday after all it’s almost the FREAKIN weekend

[faithst]

ZB1 WHEN SOMEONE FLIRTS/STARES WITH/AT THEIR S/O WHILE SHOPPING

pairing zb1 x mostlygn!reader

genre fluff, comedy

notes hii, i hope you’re doing fine aswell anon <3 thank you for requesting and being patient, i hope you enjoy this !

masterlist<3

— zhang hao

hao was looking for some more hairclips and found some really cute ones

and he wanted to get your opinion on them

so he grabbed some and went to look for you

but then he saw some other person with you 🤔

he went closer and heard that the person asked for your number so he swooped in

“oh hey, dear. look what i found!”

side-eyes the person but it’s discreet so they don’t notice

shows you the hairclips with the most brightest smile ever 🎀

“aren’t they the cutest? do you want one?”

doesn’t wait for your answer and just pulls you to where he found the hairclips and leaves the person standing there 🧍

“i know i saved you, no need to thank me.”

— sung hanbin

he’s accompanying you

most likely there to help you pick out some clothes

he finds matching shirts and is like

‘omg, i must get these’ 😮

he’s all giddy and stuff to show you the shirts

and then he sees someone talking to you

and he’s like “oh! who’s this?”

at first he thinks that the person you’re talking to is a friend

and then he overhears the bad pickupline and is shook 😀

politely interrupts with a smile and pulls you away

“hi, sorry to interrupt but i just left something that i believe belongs to me.”

— seok matthew

asked you to accompany him

and you’re head over heels for him so you agreed

he needs more of his perfume (cologne?? idk) and starts explaining to you why his perfume scent is the best 👍

and while he’s explaining, he notices someone staring at you

doesn’t really care until they come up to you and start flirting

he steps in the middle of both of you and goes ‘hey buddy.’ 😃

you get a bit worried because matthew is a buff guy

“smell this. good right?”

the person agrees and they talk about the perfume

and you’re just there

they finally finish chatting and you both walk out the store and matthew looks so happy 😭

“they have good taste! too bad, both you and this perfume are mine.”

— shen ricky

mr. young and rich is spoiling you obv 😗

he tells you that you can grab anything you want and he’ll pay for it

you declined at first but he was like ‘i’m being serious, go all out’

so you instantly rushed to grab things (get that bag !)

he was waiting for you at the cash register

and he noticed that you were gone for waaaayy too long and got worried

so he went to find you and saw you conversing with someone else

as soon as he stepped in,

the person was like ‘uh.. i have to go now’

his aura is intimidating, ok. 😃

“what was that about?”

— park gunwook

is there to help you shop

mostly bcuz he likes being w you

he offers to hold all your bags 🫢

then he notices someone staring at you

and he’s staring back

he does not stop staring

he’s like cursing with his eyes cuz he’s too polite to say it directly 👍

you see this and you’re like ‘???’

it actually scares them off

you didn’t know what was going on so you asked why he was staring like that to an innocent person

“innocent? they were literally threatening me!”

— kim taerae

helping you to pick out clothes for an event

cuz he thinks his fashion sense is 100% better than yours 😐

and you disagree

so you both split up, picking out different clothes to compare whose is better

so when taerae was done, he went to find you

and saw you with someone he didn’t recognize

he genuinely thinks it’s an old friend of yours

so he comes in like “oh my god! long time no see!”

they continue to flirt w you and taerae is like

“i hope you know cpr cause you just took my breath away.” “that’s kinda funny, shouldn’t you be dead by now?” 😭

he keeps laughing at their flirting and they get annoyed and leave

“your friend is a funny one!”

— kim gyuvin

you dragged him with you

you insisted it would be fun

and then he was stuck walking around with you for hours and kept complaining his legs hurt 😦

so he just stopped walking for a while

and since he didn’t want to get lost again, he went to look for you

and he did

but he found you with another person !

and he saw the flirtatious winks they gave

and started screaming “STRANGER DANGER!!” ‼️

granted, it scared the guy off

but it also got you both kicked you out of the store

“i’m a lifesaver!”

— kim jiwoong

he’s accompanying you pt. 2

just follows you everywhere and doesn’t say anything

unless you ask for his opinion on something

got distracted by the perfumes and lost you 😭

and then he found you with another guy

overhears the failed flirting

and walks in, putting his arm around your shoulder

eyes the guy up and down and starts interrogating him 😀

“how old are you? where do you work at? what’s your salary?”

the guy thinks that jiwoong is your dad and is trying his best to get his approval

“yeah, no. you failed the test. let’s go, babe.”

— han yujin

you invited him along

and he agreed cuz he likes doing stuff w you

judges your preference in items the whole time 😔

went to go hide somewhere to try and scare you by randomly popping up

until some guy comes up to you and starts flirting

at first he doesn’t know what to do and just kinda stands there 🧍

but he couldn’t take it so he interrupts them

“can we go get icecream? pleaseeee” practically begging

you got weirded out by the guy and wanted to escape so you agreed

while walking away, yujin turns around and sticks his tongue out at the guy

and mouths ‘loser’ while he’s at it 🫵

“good thing i saved him from you.” “aw, than- wait, what?”

© keiwook | 2023

[cokoweee]

Here’s part two for realsies 👺

~

His twin lay motionless mere feet away.

He didn’t move as his oldest brother tried to tug him away. His chest spasmed as he sucked in shallow breaths of air, a hollow ache in the center of his carapace.

He was gone.

Gone.

GONE.

He wasn’t a twin anymore.

He was alone.

His stomach lurched as he looked over his twin’s body. He could have saved him.

But he sat there, too focused on trying to calm his brother down and tell him it would be ok. That it wasn’t ok. His throat ached as he tried to push his tears down. His breath hitched as his older brother scooped him into his arms.

He couldn’t leave.

Not yet.

He pushed his way out of his brother's arms and ran to his twin again. His feet pounded against the debris as he ran on shaking legs.

He didn’t get to say goodbye.

Grabbing his limp torso he pulled Leo close to his body. He stayed there for a second, reveling in the still warm body. He might still have time.

He set him down gently and pressed his body weight against his carapace, wincing as it caved against his hands. He lifted his hands again and pushed his weight down in a weak attempt at cpr.

His ears filled with a horrible crunching sound as he continued, tears flowing shamelessly down his body. He needed Leo to tell him how to do this. He wasn’t a medic. He was never meant to be.

“I need you here. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to- how to help.” He sobbed, words gushing out before he could stop them. “Say something! Anything! Nardo please wake up. Please. I’m so so sorry! I love you! Please, please don’t leave me here alone. I don’t know what to do without you. I’m so so sorry I wasn’t a better twin.” He screamed,his words breaking as he tried to force life back into his twin. “I don’t know how to fix you. I need you here. I can’t- I can’t fix this.”

His brother came over again, picking him up in his arms and holding tight. He tried to escape again but was held with an iron grip. He couldn’t leave him here.

“Please-please let me go back Raphie please!” He screamed. “ I can’t leave without him. PLEASE!”

He kicked and fought, but his brother held tight. He watched through misty eyes as his twin grew smaller as he walked away.

He couldn’t save him.

~

Many weeks later 👍

Draxum’s hooves echo hollowly against the floor as he makes his way over to the bed. He hissed softly in warning as his “father” sits down on the mattress. He doesn’t want to be disturbed right now. Not ever.

He messed up. He messed up big time.

His big brother was in the room next door, barely able to move, all because he had been too cocky to think that he could fix the infection. Biology wasn’t even his strong suit. The infection had been eating at his brother’s body for weeks while he sat in his lab and got nowhere in his research. He should have come here as soon as he noticed it happening.

But noooo. He would fix it. He always did.

“Take the blanket off your head boy.” Draxum grunted as he shuffled to make himself more comfortable.

Groaning, he sat up and wrapped the blanket around himself like a cloak. Draxum had a look in his eye that Donnie had never seen, accent and empty. Full of, regret maybe? He reached his hand out to set it on his shoulder and took a deep breath in. His chest tightened with panic as he watched the alchemist stumble over what to say.

Donnie didn’t stay to hear what he had to say. He knew.

Blood rushed through his ears as he pushed the blanket off himself and ran. He didn’t know where he was going, but he couldn’t be here. His bare feet splattered against the floor as he sprinted out of the apartment and onto the street.

Fresh air.

Fresh air would help.

The streets of New York were still being cleaned. It was a mess. A mess he had helped to make. His chest constricted as he ran. He didn’t care that the air was filled with sulfuric air and thick smog, it felt thinner than the air inside the apartment where his brother lay motionless.

He was stopped when he came to a road block. Stupid reconstruction. With nowhere to go he sank to the ground. His palms ran over the concrete, feeling each bump and groove.

It felt real, so why didn’t he?

He stood stupidly staring at the sky for a moment. It was perfect. A dazzling blue fading into an orange and red sunset painted across the horizon.

He wanted to scream.

Didn’t the sky know what had happened? How could anything be so cheerfully beautiful while his brothers were gone?

Tears burned his eyes as he lowered his view to the brick wall in front of him. A few leaked down his face lazily. He rubbed at them absently.

He’d thought that he would cry harder. But mostly he just felt broken and numb. Sinking further against the ground, he curled his legs to his chest and pressed his face against his knees. Tears leaked their way down his thighs as he sat there.

This wasn’t real.

This couldn’t be happening.

Hooves clop down the sidewalk. He doesn’t lift his head. He doesn’t try to move, even when he’s nudged gently. After a few moments he’s lifted off the ground.

Soft fur envelopes his body. He knows it’s not his dad, but the fur is soft and warm and so so familiar. He buries his face into it anyway. One can pretend.

He’s carried to his room and wrapped in a blanket again. He maneuvered slightly to lean against his father creator. Snot crusts around his nose as his head is stroked gently, his father creator humming a lullaby softly. He lifts head barely and opens his mouth, but no words come out. Just a strangled and pathetic warbled cry.

He’s shushed and pulled closer. He closes his mouth quickly and opens his arms for a hug. His request is granted immediately, his body wrapped in a crushing hug. He stays there curled up against his only living family acquaintance and sobs.

He swipes at tears that keep flowing, his arms shaking and breath shuddering. A hand rubs his shell the whole time, bleating words of comfort that fall to empty ears. He pushes further into the warmth of his fathers creators wool and closes his eyes.

Maybe- maybe if he goes to sleep, everything would go back to normal.

~

Darkness shrouded his vision as he stared into the abyss of his lab. Even without light, he knew there were half finished projects scattered around. He wasn’t ever going to finish them. What was the point of creating anything if he had no one to give it to? He placed blankets over the machines and flopped onto his bed. He burrowed under a weighted blanket and curled into a small ball.

Life didn’t feel real.

He stayed like that for a while; breathing softly through a gap in his blankets and ignoring each time Draxum would come into the room to place a meal down. Why move when he had no one to live for?

He just wanted Leo to be here.

The darkness lifted slightly as his room filled with a light blue glow. He lifted his head barely before flopping back down to his mattress and burying his snout against a pillow.

Leo stood in front of him, hands on hips and a furious expression on his face.

Great. Now he was hallucinating. Maybe if he ignored it it would go away?

“Dude, you need to get up.”

It was speaking to him. Awesome.

He tried to ignore the striking similarities between the hallucination and his twin’s voice as it continued to berate him for being upset his brothers were dead.

Was the thing serious? Give him a break. It was hard enough trying to work through his feelings without being harassed.

He rolled over to face the hallucination when he saw Draxum in his doorway, his face trained on Leo.

“Leo?” He ventured carefully, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes you idiot! You ready to get up now?”

“I-what?” He turned over again covering his face with a pillow. He wasn’t ready to see him like that again. But now that he was here, his mind raced with possibilities. He had no idea how to do necromancy and he was banned from witch town, but he could figure something out to bring his brother back.

He had to.

“Hamato ghost stuff.” Leo said, brushing it off as if it were a totally normal conversation. “So. We ready to get up now?”

“I don’t think I can.” He admitted. His limbs felt like concrete blocks, he couldn’t move if he wanted to. “I want to, but I feel- I feel all wrong.”

Donnie turned his face from the pillow to his twin. His body was a mirror of the way he looked when Donnie had left him, a gaping hole in his leg and a chest caved inward. How had he not noticed earlier?

Nausea rolled through his stomach as he stared in horror. He moved quickly, his ninpo flaring as he reached for him. He needed to feel him again. His hand phased through his spirit.

He disappeared.

Donnie sank to the ground as Draxum rushed to him.

“You fool! Your ninpo is still recovering from the fight. I told you not to use it for a while.”

His eyes rolled around the room, unfocused and hazy as he struggled against the grip.

“Wh- where did he go?” He kicked the goat away and waved his fingers through the air. “WHERE DID HE GO?” He screamed, his ninpo flaring uncontrollably as his vision grew blurry. The room filled with a vibrant purple, illuminating every inch of the dark room, but he took no notice, too focused on searching for his brother. “I can try to help him! I can try to save him! I CAN GET HIM BACK!”

“I need you to calm-“

“Don’t tell me to fu-“ He stopped, as something pinched his neck. He pulled a small needle from his neck, narrowing his eyes at the alchemist. “You little bi-“ he managed before the drug forced him to sleep.

~

Idk what to say for myself :/

💃🕺

I’ll send the rest tmmr

-writing anon

IVE BEEN WAITING TO RELEASE THE SECOND PART ARARRARARARARARRARARRARRAR

AND I’ll link it like I should’ve done the first one lol

Part 1–PART3

[serafilms]

just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

[yoursminehourss]

PROMPT: A girl goes missing. Fifteen years later they get a call from the daughter who is now 15 years older. They listen in fear because they killed their daughter the night she “disappeared.”

[ CALL BEGINS AUGUST 14, 2008, 9:43pm ]

OPERATOR: 911, what’s your emergency?

WOMAN'S VOICE: Oh my god, my daughter, she–she’s missing. I saw her this afternoon, and she–she said she was going to her friend's house but she isn’t there! She’s gone!

OPERATOR: Okay, ma’am, I’d like you to remain calm. Do you know if she ever made it to her friend’s house?

WOMAN'S VOICE: I know she did. Her friend’s mother called me and I spoke to my daughter from her phone. I know she was alive! She left her friend's house an hour ago! And she hasn’t come home! (Sobbing)

OPERATOR: Okay, what does your daughter look like? How old is she? What’s her name?

WOMAN'S VOICE: Her name is Willow Larementh. She’s only 8. Small, brown hair almost to her waist, blue eyes, light skin. Oh, she’s so sweet. How could this happen to her?

OPERATOR: Alright, ma’am, we’ll send out a search party for her. What’s your name?

WOMAN'S VOICE: Melissa. Melissa Larementh.

OPERATOR: Okay, Ms. Larementh. We’ll let you know as soon as we find anything out.

MELISSA: Okay. Thank you so much. Please find my sweet baby. Please.

[ CALL END ]

—

[ 1 NEW MESSAGE: MELISSA LAREMENTH (9:57 pm) ]

ML: Call made.

ML: How’s your side going?

AL: Almost done

AL: They’re not going to find this

AL: We’re clear

ML: Great.

ML: Don’t forget to delete these messages once you’re done.

AL: 👍

—

[ INCOMING CALL: 911 (10:24pm) ]

MELISSA: Hello?

OPERATOR: Melissa Larementh?

MELISSA: That would be me. Who is this?

OPERATOR: This is the police. We’re part of the search squad sent out for your daughter.

MELISSA: Oh, thank god! How is she? Is she okay? My baby–

OPERATOR: Ms. Larementh.

MELISSA: ?

OPERATOR: We didn’t find your daughter. We didn’t find any sign of her, either.

MELISSA: (shrieking)

[ CALL END ]

—

[ 1 NEW MESSAGE: MELISSA LAREMENTH (10:26pm) ]

ML: I think they’ve got sufficient evidence of my grief.

AL: Ok

ML: Where are you?

AL: Mcdonalds

ML: Are you serious.

ML: Get back home right now.

ML: What are you thinking?

AL: I’m hungry

ML: THERE’S FOOD HERE.

ML: Come home now.

AL: But I’ve already got my burger

ML: Fine. Whatever. Get home ASAP.

AL: Ok

—

[ INCOMING CALL: MELISSA LAREMENTH (10:41pm) ]

MAN’S VOICE: Hello?

MELISSA: Arthur, are you sure you got rid of all the evidence?

ARTHUR: Yes, I’m certain. Everything is nicely washed and I’m going to shower once I get home just to make sure.

MELISSA: Okay. I just needed to know. I keep thinking we’ll get caught or someone will find her.

ARTHUR: No one’s gonna know. We’ve got it. We’re finally free.

MELISSA: Okay. Get home soon.

ARTHUR: On the road now. I’ll be there in a few minutes.

MELISSA: Okay. Love you.

ARTHUR: Love you.

[ CALL END ]

—

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ MELISSA LAREMENTH DID NOT PICK UP. LEAVE A VOICEMAIL? ]

[ PRESS 1 FOR ‘YES’ ]

[ PRESS 2 FOR ‘NO’ ]

( .... )

( ...1 )

[ VOICEMAIL RECORDING BEGINS ON THE BEEP… ]

[ … ]

[ BEEEEP ]

( ….hello? )

( …Mama? )

( Mama, don’t leave me here… )

( Mama…come back…please… )

( I’m scared, mama… )

( Where’s daddy taking me? )

( I don’t want to go to the forest. )

( Mama, don’t let him take me! )

( Please don’t let him leave me here! )

( Mamaaa…mama, please… )

( Don’t leave me behind… )

[ BEEEEP ]

[ VOICEMAIL DELETED ]

—

[ SEPTEMBER 2, 2008 ]

[ INCOMING CALL: MELISSA LAREMENTH (8:36am) ]

ARTHUR: Hello?

MELISSA: Arthur, a couple days ago, did you…did you get a weird call or anything like that?

ARTHUR: What? No, why?

MELISSA: It’s nothing. Just…got a weird voicemail. I deleted it. I’m sure it wasn’t really anything.

ARTHUR: Alright. Well, I’ve got to get to work.

MELISSA: Bye.

[ CALL END ]

—

( Don’t leave me here all alone… )

( Please… )

—

[ JULY 14, 2023 ]

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ CALLING… MELISSA LAREMENTH ]

[ MELISSA LAREMENTH DID NOT PICK UP. LEAVE A VOICEMAIL? ]

[ PRESS 1 FOR ‘YES’ ]

[ PRESS 2 FOR ‘NO’ ]

( … )

( …1 )

[ VOICEMAIL RECORDING BEGINS ON THE BEEP… ]

[ … ]

[ BEEEEP ]

( Mama? )

( Did you forget me? )

( It’s been fifteen years since daddy buried me, mama, along with the truth. )

( Why did you kill me, mama? )

( I was only a kid. )

( I didn’t do anything wrong. )

( I did my best. )

( Why did you leave me alone, mama? )

( Was I not good enough? )

( … )

( WAILING )

[ BEEEEP ]

[ VOICEMAIL DELETED ]

—

[ INCOMING CALL: MELISSA LAREMENTH (2:12pm) ]

ARTHUR: Hello? You know I’m at work.

MELISSA: I got–I got another weird call. It sounded like…like her.

ARTHUR, laughing: That’s absurd! She’s dead. I’m certain of it. She couldn’t have called you. Why’d you pick it up, anyway?

MELISSA: I didn’t pick it up. It left a voicemail.

ARTHUR: That’s weird. Look, I’m sure it’s nothing. It doesn’t matter. It’s just a call. It’s not going to hurt you. Don’t pick any of them up until I come home, okay?

MELISSA: Okay. I’ll see you later.

ARTHUR: Okay. Bye.

[ CALL END ]

—

[ MISSED CALL: Unknown Number ]

[ MISSED CALL: Unknown Number ]

[ MISSED CALL: Unknown Number ]

[ INCOMING CALL: Unknown Number ]

MELISSA: We have to pick up this time.

ARTHUR: I know.

[ CALL BEGINS (5:36pm) ]

( … )

( …hello? Mama? Did you pick up this time? )

MELISSA: Who is this? You’ve been harassing me for years.

( … )

( I’ve been harassing you? )

( You killed me, mama. My body is in the woods. Papa left me there. )

[ MELISSA and ARTHUR exchange a horrified glance. ]

ARTHUR: This isn’t funny, prank caller. We’ll call the police.

( … )

( laughter )

( You’ll call the police? You called the police fifteen years ago too, didn’t you, mama? You cried and you lied to them; told them your daughter was gone. But you knew where I was, didn’t you? )

MELISSA: …

( You knew I was in the back of daddy’s truck, my body cooling as my blood seeped into the fabric of the backseat. I bet if you pulled up the cover, it’s still there. You can’t wash my blood off your hands, daddy. It’s in your truck. It’s in your heart. )

ARTHUR: Hang up.

MELISSA: …

ARTHUR: Melissa, hang up the phone.

MELISSA: It’s her. It’s her ghost.

ARTHUR: That’s insane!

( Mama! You finally got it! After fifteen years of me calling! You never pick up…never, never, neveeerrr… )

( I lived. I lived in the blood that sunk into the seat cushion. I lived in the blood you dripped down the path. I lived in the dirt you piled above my body. I lived in the tree you planted over me. )

( Why? Why did you kill me? What did I do to you? )

( WAILING )

MELISSA & ARTHUR: ( screaming )

—

[ CALL BEGINS 7:49pm ]

POLICEMAN: So they were just…found dead?

INVESTIGATOR: The only clue we have is Melissa’s phone. Its screen is fried and just showing static. The speakers keep producing this wailing noise. It sounds like a child, almost.

POLICEMAN: …could it’ve been a ghost murder?

INVESTIGATOR: It’s highly possible, considering there’s also a note here on the ground.

POLICEMAN: What’s it say?

INVESTIGATOR: It’s a set of coordinates. We’ve put it into a GPS, and it’s the forest near here. We’re going to check it out.

POLICEMAN: Okay. Call me back when you get there.

[ CALL END ]

—

[ CALL BEGINS 6:32pm ]

INVESTIGATOR: Hello?

POLICEMAN: It’s a tree.

INVESTIGATOR: What?

POLICEMAN: It’s just a tree. The coordinates lead to a tree.

INVESTIGATOR: Is there anything underneath the tree?

POLICEMAN: It doesn’t look like it from the surface, but we can dig up underneath it.

INVESTIGATOR: Get on that.

[ CALL END ]

—

[ CALL BEGINS 6:58 ]

POLICEMAN: The body underneath the tree looks like it belongs to a little girl.

INVESTIGATOR: What? Is it W–

POLICEMAN: Wait.

INVESTIGATOR: ?

POLICEMAN: The phone stopped making noise. The static turned off.

INVESTIGATOR: So it was definitely a ghost murder. The body underneath that tree is likely the Laramenths daughter.

POLICEMAN: Oh, that would explain the tree.

INVESTIGATOR: Is there something about the tree?

POLICEMAN: It’s a willow.

[ CALL END ]

[burgercheese1812]

SPOILERS!!!!!!!

Read at your own risk!

My emotions/thoughts through painted devils, because I just finished that shit and holy jamole-

(This took me days to write help 💀)

The seventh lie: (yes it has to be in sections or no one will be able to follow it, not even myself)

YES IT HAS FINALLY ARRIVED

OOOO THE COVER JUST *chefs kiss*

NO DAMMIT VANJA GO BACK

DAMMIT VANJA

Don’t scam the people, don’t scam the people- of course she did.

Hm making up a story about a god, yes this seems completely sane and won’t have future repercussions.

*fast forwards two months* Dammit Vanja.

Don’t go into the barn. DON’T GO INTO THE BARN- of course.

EMERIC!! YAY!

oh… Emeric… 😐

awkward.

YES I’VE MISSED THIER BANTER!!!

*sheep third wheeling is a vibe*

*Enter ScarMad*

Hi, yes hello, what do you mean you cLaiMeD mY bOy eMeRiC?? 😃

*Emeric proceeds to be high-fived in the chest, with red permanent marker*

*Enter PrOcToR KiRkLiNg* p.s: I already hate her.

I hope Vanja cuts KiRkLiNg down a few pegs. Ok a lot of pegs.

Who is Helga and where did she come from? *proceeds to knock KiRkLiNg down a few pegs* I like her.

THE RYE ROLL SCENE IS EVERYTHING 🤌 SASSY HELGA MY BELOVED

#wish I could have seen KiRkLiNg standing on that bridge looking like a shocked fish as her lunch falls into the river

Oh how I wish I could go on a lovely date with my significant other to see murals of human sacrifices that may or may not soon involve them. Oh to be in love.

Ah yes Vanja, because I’m sure just screaming in a cave is going to summon- god dammit it ScarMad.

HA VIRGIN (I can’t say anything)

wait hang on so ScarMad claims people who haven’t… done it yet? Or have no intention of ever doing it? That smells a tad… *sniffs the air* Acephobic.

#cancel the Acephob ScarMad 2023 #acerights

“Human measuring stick I’m inexplicably fond of” I’m sure Emeric loves you to Vanja

Ah yes let’s all just casually stroll up to the other 5 brother and ask for them to participate in a BLOOD SACRIFICE that will go down swimmingly I’m sure!

GIVE EMERIC SOME SHEET VANJA HE’S COLD GOD DAMMIT!

*un- PG 13 -ifies your Vaneric*

PLEASE NOT THE PREGNANCY TROPE- oh ok.

Love Helga being a big sister figure in Vanja’s life. (What the poor naive dingbat did not know is that this is what we call ✨foreshadowing✨)

penis.

Great now I’m going to spend the next week wondering how the hell to pronounce blesséd

Of course KiRkLiNg has to come as well

I love Vikram with all my heart.

GHOSTBUSTERS!

WhAt dO yOu mEaN yOu dOn’T HaVe gOdMoThEr’S????

Of course Vanja drunkenly yelled at one of the brothers

The sixth lie:

Vanja throws horseshit at Emeric, off to a great start 😃👍

Wouldn’t be a book with Vanja without some good ol’ Vanja fashion robbery

Cue the Robin Hood montage

Emeric is loving this.

GHOSTBUSTERS! Pt.2

Never seen the movie but I’m 95% sure this is how Annabelle started

Didn’t always have rails- OHS ‘bout to have a field day☝️😃

SISTER??????

BUM BUM BAAAAAAAAAAAAA

The fifth lie:

IRMGARD WHAT THE HELL??

I’M READY TO THROW HANDS WITH THIS GIRL WHAT THE ACTUAL-

Oh right sister.

Ok let’s leave the absolute HORRORS of Vanja’s back scars and go back to this cliffhanger. Starting with:

WHAT THE FU-

Oh she’s just crazy ok. *mightily suspicious*

I will admit I was fully sucked in by the ant proverb-

Great the cult has followed them

The fourth lie:

Ah… brothels…

JUSTICE FOR AGNETHE!!

“The worst mistake of your life wasn’t upsetting me. It was starting a fight with her” SLAY EMERIC YOU TELL MEAN OLD MOTHER HUBBARD

Emeric has… questions…. 👀

Wish i could solve my problems with a giant ruby

Bath. I will elaborate no further.

THE SCARS!! THIS SCENE MADE ME SOB OF COURSE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL VANJA 😭

Normal people: “i think I love them.” VANJA THE RIZZLER SCHMIDT (Ros) :“If every star were a reason I care for him—that’s how I feel, like I carry too many stars in me to count, like my skin might burst with the enormity of it all, like if I gather them all up, the only name I could give this is love.”

Thank you very much for teaching me to waltz whilst also teaching me organised crime

*gets called ugly in front of her sole mate* Vanja: dead bugs for you

JSDJDJEHFHDUSUDUEHDFBRHCUSHDBF SHE IS THEIR SISTER HOW DARE YOU DANGLE THAT PLOT POINT IN FRONT OF MY FACE ONLY TO TRICK ME AND THEN CHUCK THAT EMOTIONAL DUMP-TRUCK ON ME, YOU @what-eats-owls ARE MAGNIFICENT PLEASE CONTINUE

The third lie:

Excuse me?

Dead? HER MOTHER IS DEAD? 😃

Ozkar: tells Vanja her mother is dead, also Okzar: ew don’t be sad yucky

HER RIBBON?? THAT CLEARLY IS IMPORTANT TO HER?? I NEED TO PUT ON MY DOUBLE SEEING GLASSES 😳 👓🤏JUST TO SEE THROUGH THIS ABSOLUTE BULLSHI-

Ozkar gets worst brother of the year award. Change my mind, oh wait you can’t.

Love that Emeric can just immediately finds Vanja BEST BOYFRIEND

YES EMERIC’S FAMILY

Emeric talking loveingly about his family is giving both Vanja AND me life

NO NO GET OUT IF EMERIC YOU RUDE OLD HAG HE’S CLEARLY TAKEN

LET GO OF VANJA!!!!

NOT THE ANGST—THE ANGST 😭 DAMN YOU, YOU GLOWY RED BIATCH AND ALGEBRA OR WHAT EVER YOUR DAMN NAME IS FOR GIVING VANJA THIS TRAUMA (Adalbrecht but I can’t spell)

Manacles? 🤨📸

EMERIC WANTS TO KEEP VANJA SAFE FROM HIM 😭 GET YOURSELF A PERSON WITH THIS LEVEL OF DEDICATION

honestly if my future partner doesn’t take paralysis pills when they’re possessed by an evil old glowy witch thing then I don’t want ‘em ✋🙄

THIS CRUSTY DUSTY ASS CRIMSON BIATCH HAS BLOCKED VANJA FROM SEEING HER GOD MOTHERS? This lady better be burnt at the stake and hung drawn and quartered when this is over or I swear to whatever is above that I will cross universes and do it myself.

Of course Vanja’s brother has been taken by an immortal sky women because, well because this was all just a tad too easy

The Imperial Abbey if Truth sounds like the most aesthetically pleasing place and goodness I want SO badly to go there now-

YES DEATH AND FORTUNE YAY!!!!

ScarMad clearly has to go back to preschool BECAUSE SHE HASNT HAD THE PERSONAL SPACE TALK YET, GET OUT OF MY BOY-

Cool. Emeric sleepy = no witchy

That was meant to rhyme :/

My poems aren’t as good as Emeric’s

Also. EMERIC HAS POEMS??? PLEASE SHOW ME I MUST SEE 👹👹

Part 3:

THE ABBESS HAS CANDLES ON HER HEAD? She is so cool what the-

AND SHE’S ONLY A SIDE CHARACTER?

Girlboss fr

ScarMad the fabricated low gOd is in fact not a low god and is instead an… old wheat spirit thing?

Emeric really hates horses part 34

Alone? Vanja was alone at the end? I swear to all that is everything EMERIC BETTER NOT DIE-

Math crimes. (I shall be using all those jokes in the foreseeable future)

Emeric needs to be invited to do some money laundering STAT.

AWWW SIBLING MOMENT

this book really is just an emotional roller coaster, except every once in a while they chuck water on you when you least expect it, just to add to the fun emotional experience.

Cue a lot of legal talk that went right over my head

HAHAHAHA SHE GOT ARRESTED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA-

YES AND THE GREEN HAND GETS THE uh, BUILDING AND JONIZA AND THEIR DAD GOT THE MONEY AND-

and now Vanja has to go get her brother from the sky lady

The second lie:

RAGNE

RAGNERAGNERAGNERAGNEGRANGE-

I’msohappythatmyfavouritelittleshapshifterisback

Can you tell I love Ragne?

VANJA’S GOING TO RIDE RAGNE

like… a horse…

WITH WINGS???

on the feet…?

I swear everytime I think Ragne couldn’t get any cooler SHE BLOODY GETS COOLER-

Sky lady.

I love sky lady.

There are so many cool characters in this book I just- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Race! WHO SHALL WIN???

DAMN IT SCARMAD PISS OFF-

A tie? Nice 😎

Vanja has to ride with the Hunt for two weeks? Ok coolcoolcool definitely can’t see this going wrong in the foreseeable future-

She didn’t tell Emeric. 😐

VANJA’S GONNA MET HER FAMILY

And yet another scene that almost made me cry

SHE HAS SO MUCH FAMILY?

THE WEDDING

I love Vanja and her sisters bonding through dressing her up

OMG EMERIC SEEING VANJA ALL DRESSED UP WITH MAKE-UP I- 😭😭😭

Jeezus crickey can ScarMad leave Vanja alone FOR FIVE BLOODY MINUTES??

“What is wrong with you, why are you red??”

the first lie:

Love that Vanja’s whole family just drops everything to help her 😭

I’ve done and am I currently doing a lot of crying and I’m not even at the end yet?

KiRkLiNg is being… tolerable? Perhaps I was wrong about her. Maybe I judged her to quickly? (Later I regretted ever thinking these words)

Just realised I haven’t mentioned Ambrozia (?) a lot and I would just like to say, girlboss©️

GHOSTBUSTERS! Pt.3

NO RAGNE

And today on Vanja’s list of low gods to befriend is moss lady

the goat scene. I will now go have nightmares now thank you very much.

JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE ! STOP TELEPORTING THEM

she won’t let them up the bridge. she won’t let them get the anchor.

I have since fallen off the edge of my seat and am lying on the floor reading as fast as I possibly can

Ah yes, the only sane option, jump off the bridge into the jaws of a hellhound 👏👏

Emeric really is ride or die huh

THEY- NO. ON THE RIVER BANK?????

SCANDALOUS!!!!!

…

I take it back please Emeric is just the ride NOT THE DIE I REPEAT PLEASE NOT THE DIE

GIVE HIM BACK YOU INSUFFERABLE RED CANDLESTICK

I am crying with Vanja

HELL YES BRUNNE LETS GOOOOOOOOO

YES GIRLBOSS IS BACK ON HER FEET GO GO GO

The actual red maiden was just sitting in a cave CRYING THIS WHOLE TIME? I say, whilst sitting in my dark room after sobbing through most of this book

YES THE FINAL ASSAULT PUT SCARMAD IN HER PLACE

…

what in. the frick frack diddly dack, fuggle nuggles bloody HELL DID SHE JUST SAY???

MARTHE???

HER.

MOTHER????????

HER MOTHER????????

YOU’RE TELLING ME. THAT HER MOTHER. ORCHESTRATED ALL OF THIS. JUST BECAUSE VANJA WAS GOING TO BE HAPPY??????

SHE’S READY TO SACRIFICE HER WHOLE FAMILY?????

911 child protection services?

Just Marthe dangling Emeric over a hungry hell hound ready to drop him in, Mother in laws am I right?

Gonna buy therapy for Vanja, Emeric, (Marthe can rot) and then myself.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAH GO DEATH GO FORTUNE THE TRUE PARENTS MUAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

this all brings me great satisfaction.

BACK INTO THE LATERN AND STRAIGHT INTO THE HELLHOUNDS MOUTH HA

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAY 💅(literally)

Ooooooo yeah 😬 makes sense that the town would lowkey hate Vanja

They get to have a dance 🥺🥺 (one that isn’t threaten by a glowing red demon mother)

Oh. 😳

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!

Slay they deserve that.

Water break before the end 🥲

Take back EVERYTHING that I rethought about KiRkLiNg, girl still a baitch

Ofc KiRkLiNg would still want Vanja gone WHAT DID I EVEN THINK-

Vanja.

No.

No Vanja. Don’t do that.

DON’T THINK LIKE THAT VANJA

GOD DAMN IT VANJA STOP

PLEASE SAY HE HEARD THAT, EMERIC HEARD IT BEFORE HE FELL UNCONSCIOUS PLEASE

EMERIC SHE LOVES YOU SHE SAID IT!

VANJA NO

KIRKLING DAMN YOU!

SHE HATES EMERIC??????

WAIT WOAH HOLD UP KIRKLING HATES EMERIC??

VANJA STOP NO!

BRUNNE NO!

…

Screaming crying throwing up.

After the book i just lay on my bed clutching the book sobbing. Then i stopped sobbing and just lay there.

Truely a magnificent book and even this happens to pop up on your fyp and you read all the way down here then:

READ THE BLOODY BOOK! GO! RIGHT NOW! BUY IT! READ IT!

Gonna go reread it myself, I just love crying my eyes out 😗✌️, no but really the book is just amazing and I wish I could read it for the first time again. Thank you so much @what-eats-owls you are truly a magnificent writer and I cannot WAIT for book 3, thank you so much.

[bex23ckwolf]

okok so like consider

der monster klub sleepover right? y/n is invited (bc of course they’re a part of the klub) and all is good and well until julian has a nightmare and requests y/n to comfort him

i’m trying to make it vague so you can fill in the gaps and go crazy >:3 - very cool anon 👍: 2 electric boogaloo

Ok I got you and I’m gonna be making y/n gender neutral in this story if you don’t mind 😊

———————————————————————

It’s the end of class and you’re packing up your stuff to head home, the halls were very crowded today because of all the damages the ninja and robo-ape’s have done. You spot Theresa outside and run up to her.

Theresa noticed you running towards her and waved at you. You came to a halt and tried catching your breath, “Ok, so who’s house are we going to for the sleepover”? You asked Theresa, “I think it’s Juggos turn today”.

We waited for the bus to finally leave and once it did we discussed what we would do once we get to Juggos house. You got off the bus at your stop, you ran up to your front door and took out your key to open it.

Once inside you dropped your stuff in your room and hurried on packing stuff that you would bring, your pjs, sleeping bag and pillow. You got a message from your mom saying that she would be there soon. So you put on your shoes and decided to just be in your phone while you waited for your mom.

You were scrolling through social media for a bit when you came across a post Julian did. It was a pic of you so concentrated on a project you and him were doing in your English class. It was were you and him were assigned on creating a story. You both decided to do a backstory on a monster you two have created during a der monster klub meeting.

You smiled a little at the post then decided to comment on the post saying “m/n (monsters name) shall rule the world as his!!!”, once you posted it you laughed at yourself. You heard the honk from your moms car and quickly got up and grabbed your bag then headed out the door towards the car.

Once you got to Juggos house you waved your mom bye while she drives away. You felt excited because of the amount of fun stuff that Juggo has in his room. You knocked on the door to be greeted with Julian, “Y/N! Oh I’m so glad you were able to make it”. Julian gave you a big hug which you returned back to him.

Once Julian let go of you he let you inside where you greeted everyone else. You all were thinking on either creating more monsters or playing games that you guys brought. You said that you have smash bros, omori and undertale including your switch of course. Also uno, you knew that once the game of uno started it would be a disaster.

You all decided to play just dance that Dave brought for Juggos old WII. You have played this game on your brothers old WII a lot so you are very skilled on this game. You have won every round so far and you are very proud of yourself, “Haha, there is no one to be able to defeat me”, you said to yourself in a very dramatic way.

Just then Julian stepped up “Oh what’s this? Someone dare challenge me? Well go ahead then challenger”, you handed Julian a controller and you let him pick the song and he chose ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ by set it off. The dance started alright then started to get more intense with the music.

You had it alright for a while in the song but you just now are starting to get tired but you refused to give up. You gave a quick glance at Julian to see how he’s doing and he seems to be getting a little bit tired but still had enough energy to keep going. You of course wouldn’t let that happen. So you kept going until the song finished.

Sadly you lost because your foot slipped on the floor causing you to loose a point you were close on getting. Causing Julian to have it instead. Julian helped you get back up. Once you all finished playing games you decided to have dinner. A reason why you liked coming over to Juggos house was because his mom made amazing food dishes.

You all discussed about your monsters and who would be the next to host the meeting. Once you all finished you all headed to Juggo room to set up your sleeping bags and brush your teeth. Dave and Julian went to sleep because they were tired while you, Theresa and Juggo were talking a bit until you decided to go to sleep.

Time passed a bit and you couldn’t sleep. Just as you closed your eyes again to try and sleep you felt someone give you a little nudge as if wondering if you were awake. You turned to see that it was Julian that was doing it. You sat up a bit, “Julian what are you doing awake?”, you asked him, “Sorry to awake you Y/N, but it’s that I had a nightmare and I didn’t like this one in particularly”.

You felt sympathy for him so you told him, “I can lay next to you if you want to help you be able to sleep if you want”. You gave him a little smile and he nodded back liking the idea. So you scooted your sleeping bag a bit so it could be next to his. You both laid down you extended your hand towards Julian to see if it would help him. Julian accepted the hand.

You gave Julian a tired smile and wished him sweet creepy dreams. He accepted the saying and wished the same for you and like that you both fell asleep with Julian knowing you were next to him if anything happened he knew you would keep him comfort.

———————————————————————

I hope this was alright as my first Julian fanfic💜

Also sorry if it’s too short and if anyone did read it could it be alright if you send in more requests that would be great. ☺️

[raetreaderarts]

This could’ve been attached to my last post but I didn’t think I was gonna be mentally ill all the way into 6 in the morning (ADHD time works different than regular time and I hate it)

ANYWAYS allow me to discuss these two. Under this little read more tab. If you wanna hear about my stupid gay ass simping for this beautiful old lady. I mean I certainly don’t see a ring on that finger.

OKAY SO I imagine that at some point Virus ends up hitching a ride on the Brave Asigiri and when Diana joins the gang it’s love at first sight for Virus. Like at first she’s like “oh yeah I just think she’s cool” but then she realizes she wants to do things like hold hands and hear her voice and she’s like OH NO. AM I GAY??? Because she’s like 21 at this point, I changed her age cause I’m turning 22 in a couple weeks but anyways, she’s gone through 21 years of her life assuming she’s straight. Meanwhile Diana’s already come to terms with her bisexuality and is quite comfortable with the identity she’s come to know over her 60-ish years, I just put 64 as like an approximation and also it’s like Super Mario 64 which is pretty cool.

Before Diana leaves, Virus finally ends up confessing and Diana already knew Virus was down bad cause Virus’s eyes were always filled with yearning whenever she looked at Diana. But Diana says that this isn’t gonna work cause she’s gotta go and adventure, and Virus is fucking distraught but of course she respects Diana’s wishes. HOWEVER even when Diana does leave she just cannot get Virus out of her mind, so at some point afterwards she sends her squakabilly to give Virus a letter, and they end up meeting again and going on adventures together. Cause Virus is a homebody, but as soon as she met Diana, she became her new home.

They’re pretty great together since Diana is an ambivert and Virus has an anxiety disorder, so Diana can speak up for Virus in public situations but they can also just have quiet vibing hangout sessions. Virus doesn’t fully understand Diana’s passions all the time since she’s admittedly a bit dense but she always listens when Diana wants to share information about Rakua with her.

This paragraph is a tad risqué

Virus is definitely more of a like, naughty thinker I guess, but she feels embarrassed and weird about it so she doesn’t usually say anything until Diana teases it out of her. Meanwhile Diana is fully aware of how dirty minded Virus can be and she loves messing with Virus just to make her get all flustered and red in the face, sometimes whispering an innuendo in her ear or discreetly squeezing a part of her body. Since Diana is experienced with these sorts of things, she knows the exact buttons to push in order to make Virus squeal.

Ok that’s it for the risqué stuff. I know it was pretty tame but I like to add warnings just in case

Both of them have their bodily insecurities, with Virus dreading her round face and pudginess and Diana worrying that her golden years are over, but they both completely adore every single bit of each other. Virus has always been into older people, wrinkles and stretch marks and cellulite drive her absolutely insane so of course she would find Diana attractive. Meanwhile Diana loves Virus’s round face and pudgy body because she finds her to be absolutely adorable.

They’re both fairly competent when it comes to pokemon battling, Virus has her drizzile as her ace and of course Diana has her arcanine. If I had a nickel for every old person with an arcanine I crushed on I’d have two nickels. Anyways since they can cover each other’s weaknesses they make for a great team. While Diana goes for speed, Virus goes for power.

Alright like I said it’s 6 am so I need to go to bed, I was planning on going to bed at 12 but obviously that did not happen, I can see the sun peeking through my window god help me. As always if you guys got any questions you can ask, if you’re interested in this pairing let me know before I end up fixating on Cookie Run again, all that good stuff 👍

[mins-fins]

haiiaiaia i know it’s been a while…. ahahahha… i haven’t felt up for much of anything for a hot minute 😓 i miss u tho! i love u lots too ^_^ ermm life updates.. started a new book bc jj read it ermm… im only on page 10 it’s ok i’ll get somewhere soon!! im going to canada in july (we are roadtripping there), coming back for a week then leaving for japan and vietnam 🤗 super super excited for vietnam especially like omgggg my homeland 💗 oh also currently waiting to ask my mom to buy me sabrina carpenter tickets bc she’s coming to my state :3 about to leave the house to walk to my moms shop so i cn help one of her workers pick out a dog.. currently broke rn bc i spent all my money umm.. i miss piwon.. i’ve been doing this puzzle but it’s taking a while bc i’m not very good and it’s 1000 pieces.. there’s soo many artists that r coming to my state on tour this year i need to see them all but no money so hopefully i get to at least see sabrina carpenter and dpr.. ok i think that’s it hopefully it doesn’t take me a month to come back here.. ILY ISA :33 have a wonderful day lalalalallaal and sotd (even tho my spotify premium ended) this got rly long sorry

haiauaiauiiii karma wave2love i missed you more 😭😭 can i have the name of the book pls im literally out of new literature to obsess over 😞 i recently took a tour of my college campus and i am def getting lost when school starts so thats great!! i hope you enjoy your summer because im suffering from being imprisoned by capitalism all summer…….maybe if im lucky my friends and i will be able to do smth but literally everyone is busy 🙁 boy i miss piwon too thats so real 😭😭😭 (will never have enough money to see them) please take care of yourself and drink lots of water and eat and SLEEP please i havent been sleeping at all and im starting to smell colors ��

[just-some-random-blogger]

Naur but bang chan

literally like ???? idk if you knew this but,,, I’M your boyfriend 

Im so sorrae

after u explain he just does that disappointed dad sigh™️ and walks away 

😭😭😭

Then minho

‘get tf away from me 😃’

Mood

trust me he thinks ur really cute but he also wishes you’d just stfu once in awhile

SO REAL

if you continue on with your little prank he’ll just turn around and say ‘nah, i kinda wanna meet this guy now’

And i oop

Changbin

will peek out from under the bed and be like ‘this good? 👍’ pls

WHAT A DUMMY 😭😭😭😭😭😭

bitches about it for at l e a s t two weeks

As he should

Hyunjinie

and you almost give up on the prank cause he’s just giving you the side eye while munching on his snack

Me

he gets so annoyed over it but the more you insist on him to hide the more he actually starts to believe it

😭😭😭 i dont blame you overthinking powers activate

‘oh why don’t you get your boyfriend to help you’ and walks away

😭😭😭😭😭😌😌😌😌petty king

Jisung

another one that takes way too long to figure out that he’s your boyfriend 

My hear and soul

will make a 20 minute powerpoint on why tiktok should be banned in the dorms and will make you sit through the whole thing

He like me fr

Felix

also he saw ur tiktok likes

❌⭕❌⭕ gossip girl

Definitely not Felix

Seungmin my fav

‘i’m ur boyfriend stupid’

THAT SHOULD BE ME

‘okay?? i’m asleep anyway??? literally just hang out with him in the living room and go away???’

😭 ok

and as soon as he hears another guys voice coming from the living room you bet ur ass he’s practically throwing himself down those stairs

As he should 😌

grumpily walks back up those stairs and you s w e a r  you heard him mumble ‘bitch’ under his breath 😭

Deserve

Baby bread

~~~OK BUT IM UR BOYFRIEND

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i would never hurt u jeongin leave her ass and come to me instead 💅💅💅💅

has trust issues now

See

SKZ REACTION TO 'QUICK, HIDE! MY BOYFRIEND IS COMING!' PRANK

genre: fluff and general dumbassery

warnings: himbo!changbin, himbo!jisung, tiktok pranks and danni's shitty attempt at comedy <3

note: ngl i made felix shorter than the rest cause i just know his ass would'nt fall for this shit, my guy would probably be the one to do this prank on u 😭 similar to my last tiktok prank reaction, check it out here!

BANG CHAN

your stupid tiktok pranks are the bane of this mans existence

such a boomer

stares at you like (ಠ_ಠ) as you’re trying to push him into your room to hide

he already has to deal with seven other idiots causing him emotional distress on a daily basis and yet here you are joining in?

breaks into a sweat as soon as the word ‘boyfriend’ leaves your lips

literally like ???? idk if you knew this but,,, I’M your boyfriend 

will dig his feet into the carpet as you’re trying to push him through the door and won’t move until you explain yourself >:(

you just think he looks sososo cute confused and frustrated so you crack pretty quickly 

after u explain he just does that disappointed dad sigh™️ and walks away 

if u weren’t such a cutie he would’ve ditched ur ass by now istg

LEE MINHO

so close to snapping 

can’t deal with ur shit anymore

(he loves you really)

(but fr he’s on his last straw, you stress him out)

literally just chilling on one of his rare days off scrolling through his phone when you strike

now ur all up in his face like ‘bro u need to hide! my boyfriend is on his way!!’

legit just stares you out for a minute straight before just

‘get tf away from me 😃’

and you can tell he’s not gonna fall for another one of ur stupid pranks but u also can’t give up now cause u made a bet with felix so

‘no i’m serious! he’s like two minutes away, hide!!’

will continue sitting there

trust me he thinks ur really cute but he also wishes you’d just stfu once in awhile

if you continue on with your little prank he’ll just turn around and say ‘nah, i kinda wanna meet this guy now’

there’s no winning with his stubborn ass trust me

SEO CHANGBIN

was asleep

so peaceful

then suddenly a wild girlfriend (you) appears

you felt kinda bad for disturbing him cause !! he looked so cute !! all pouty and sleepy

but still tiktok pranks reign superior than ur boyfriends sleep

so fking confused and doesn’t know what tf is going on

his fight or flight kicks in as soon as ur panicked whisper of ‘quick! my boyfriend is on his way, you need to hide!’ hits his ears

tucks and rolls right underneath that bed

will peek out from under the bed and be like ‘this good? 👍’ pls

himbo!changbin for the win

will hide for a good half hour before he realises 

hey

wait

i’m the boyfriend

bitches about it for at l e a s t two weeks

HWANG HYUNJIN

gets so worked up about it lmao

will be in the middle of a nice ~peaceful~ snack 

before being rudely interrupted

just stares u in the face with that real bitchy eye squint he loves to do

‘oh u think ur funny’

and you almost give up on the prank cause he’s just giving you the side eye while munching on his snack

loves to make you feel dumb 

he gets so annoyed over it but the more you insist on him to hide the more he actually starts to believe it

deep down he knows it’s a joke but also gets jealous over this non-existent side piece you have <3

‘okay fine, ill hide. but only cause ur cute.’

hides all grumpy in the storage cupboard with his snack

all you can hear are angry chewing noises

(ex: soobin)

another one to bring this up in future and bitch over it

whenever you ask him to help you with smith he’ll just be like

‘oh why don’t you get your boyfriend to help you’ and walks away

petty af but we been knew

but he’s pretty so you let him have it

HAN JISUNG

so :o

listens very intently as you explain that your boyfriend is on his way and immediately goes into panic mode

‘okay i have a plan’

freaks out and drags you into the empty space below your stairs while shushing you

1/3 bimboracha 

‘he won’t find us here’

doesn’t understand why ur laughing ??? this is serious ???

9/10 chance he doesn’t know what’s actually going on

another one that takes way too long to figure out that he’s your boyfriend 

so close to organising an intervention against ur tiktok pranks

will make a 20 minute powerpoint on why tiktok should be banned in the dorms and will make you sit through the whole thing

idk just don’t do this to him, his dramatic ass wouldn’t be able to handle it

LEE FELIX

lee felix tiktok king™️

already knows what you’re trying to do before you even do istg

he’s ten steps ahead of you at all times with this tiktok shit

catches you looking at him out of the corner of your eye all morning and giggling and kinda had an idea of what you were planning

also he saw ur tiktok likes

this isn’t a cute little prank anymore this is a competition

on guard as soon as you strike and ready to shut that shit down

‘felix, quick hide in my closet! my boyfriend is gonna be here soon!!’

literally just goes

‘i’m ur boyfriend stupid’

and that’s that

there’s no fooling him

KIM SEUNGMIN

you planned to strike while he was asleep cause that’s the only time ur sure he won’t just immediately dismiss you and be like ‘tf are you on?’

swats you away a good three times as you try to shake him awake

does that grumpy teenager thing where he pulls the covers over his head and just hopes you’ll leave

if he can’t see u then u can’t see him

groans as soon as he hear that stupid tiktok line leave your mouth

just goes

‘okay?? i’m asleep anyway??? literally just hang out with him in the living room and go away???’

does not give a shit

you really wanna get him though

so you invite hyunjin over

and as soon as he hears another guys voice coming from the living room you bet ur ass he’s practically throwing himself down those stairs

just stares at you and hyunjin 

so fking out of breath

grumpily walks back up those stairs and you s w e a r  you heard him mumble ‘bitch’ under his breath 😭

YANG JEONGIN

confused

but also will do whatever you say cause he’s whipped af

human personification of that one hamster meme when you come rushing up to him freaking out about how your boyfriend was on his way over

panics with u

he doesn’t like seeing you stressed :( 

but in the middle of ur ranting he’s like

‘okay wait i can just hide in there- wait, boyfrIEND?! BUT I’M UR BOYFRIEND!!!1!!!!!11!!’

literally doesn’t know what to do when you just shush him

stays hiding in there until you take pity on him and tell him to come out

does his little walk of shame out and just stands there for a good five minutes staring at you

has never felt betrayal like it

has trust issues now

© seungisms — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

[musicwaman]

stuff happened today? not much to talk about I feel.

I was late to picking up my friend carmen. I had to shower and I was late when I started showering lol. I like to stay in bed. actually i’m kind of lying about that, but since i’m saying this to a void that could look back whenever it wants to, i’m not going to say it. wonder how that could affect my future if I did talk about it? I assume my digital footprint is large… eh, you probably understand anyway?

anyway, stepdad, john, was a bit annoyed, and the whole guilt of being like 20 minutes late to picking up my best friend kinda made me step back and go, “oh, yeah I should actually do something about this.” and I will. I will actually try being on time for once. hm..

so, we picked up carmen, who, despite being 20 minutes late, hadn’t even started getting ready? it’s ok tho, she got ready in like 6 minutes. oh also, carmen had to leave around 4:30, she plays basketball and had to leave for her game! pretty cool stuff. in her opinion. I don’t really care about sports, and I told her that I would probably go watch her game, but I just.. don’t want to lol. I don’t really find it all that interesting. and also don’t want to go to a place where there’s.. people *shudder.*

alright, so, me and carmen went for a walk, and she wanted to get back at my house by 2:45. we both realized we walked a bit to far to be back that soon, and I was just going to, you know, normally turn around and walk the other way. but carmen, NOTICED A PART OF A FENCE THAT WAS KNOCKED OVER, AND STEPPED THROUGH IT. oh yeah also good to mention our walk had many little curves and turns and whatnot. so yeah, THEN SHE TELLS ME TO FOLLOW HER. this was so abysmal to me, and it felt like a movie. she was the brave one, taking the more dangerous path through a mini-forest with thorns everywhere, and I was the cowardly one, wanting to take the safer path, the path I trusted and the path I knew. so ermm.. what did I do? well my cheeks got red out of confusion and I followed her. ow, those thorns though. so yeah, we’re still going through this forest, and we see some non-foresty bits, cool, we head out there, us both nearly tripping and falling on the weird red thorn twig thing that came out of the ground, did a little loop and went back it. as we keep walking, we see that this field was massive! and there was a little patch of trees in the middle of it, which housed a nice shady place. there was also a house close to where we were standing. it was an odd yellow house, didn’t think much of it, but we kept our distance… carmen walks through the center trees and once I get there as well we notice an iron-chain fence around the perimeter. I think nothing much of it, and carmen suggests, to get home faster, we should hop the fence. i’ve never hopped a fence, and I don’t intend to. so what did I do?? I noticed the entrance, with the gate wide open- then I realized. oh shit, i’ve been here before. I ran over to the entrance of the of the gate and sure enough, right on the front. “NO TRESPASSING”. ah, ok, so carmen and me just trespassed over someone’s private property. i’m sure that’s fine 👍

me and carmen follow the road to go home, and obviously make it there successfully. then I kinda cuddled up on her while wahr went on her phone until her mom came to pick her up at 4:30 for her game. I wished her good luck and so did john. :)

that’s the most important thing that happened. pretty cool, looking back on it now. can’t believe we didn’t get caught trespassing.

god, i’ve said way to much stuff and I’m real fucking tired I almost fell asleep 4 times typing this.

good night.

ohhh my god I woke up and I guess I literally just fell asleep after writing good night I didn’t even post it augh im still tired. but now i’m posting it.

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie Munson x Plus size reader If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

This was a request by @generouspuppypuppy

Can I request a Eddie Munson x plus!size reader where the reader 🤮 in the morning and she hasn't had her monthly and she takes a test and finds out she is pregnant and is to scared to tell Eddie so she ignores him at school and his calls bc she is scared that he will leave her but Eddie has had enough of her ignoring him so he goes to her house and ask her why she is ignoring him she tells him and why she was ignoring him ,😄sorry if it's long I haven't been feeling 👍

Oh baby 😉

One shot

Warnings: mentions of unprotected sex, slight talk of abortion.

🖤🧑‍🍼

"Honey are you ok?" Your mom knocked on the bathroom door. You just got done puking your guts out.

"Yeah I think I have the stomach flu."

" ok. I'm gonna go to the store and get some soup." Your mom said

"Ok" you replied.

You finally brushed your teeth and went downstairs for breakfast. But the smell of eggs made you nauseous again.

" Hey honey do you need anymore tampons?"

Your eyes widen. Shit no no no.

"Honey?"

"Uhh no mom. I'm good"

"Ok I'll be back soon."

As soon as she left you went to your room to grabbed your bag. Your ruffled thru it and pulled out your round pale pink compact. Shit shit . You sighed in relief that you didn't forget to take your birth control. So you went to your calendar flipping to the previous month. Oh God. You didn't see the marks you usually made during your time of the month

..

" Uhh" you looked at your best friend. Eyes wide open looking down at the pregnancy test you just took.

" Please Robin. Don't tell me I'm -" you pleaded with her like she was the one who controlled the results.

" I uhhh." Robin sighed. " Umm. Tell me Munson is not that stupid."

Oh man oh man this could not be happening. You were dating Eddie for about 6 months now. You guys had sex all the time without condoms because you were allergic to the latex. Fuck.

" He's not. I was taking birth control" You sobbed

"You know it's like 91% effective right?"

"Seriously?! What are the chances?" You said

" ummm about 9 out of 100." Robin tried to lighten the mood. "The only method that's 100% is to not to."

"Oh common Robin just cuz you're a prude doesn't mean I have to be too."

" Well if me being a prude means I'm not 18 and pregnant then by all means."

You started to cry harder at her words

"Shit y/n I'm sorry. What are you gonna do? Do you want to get rid-"

" God no Robin." You cut her off.

" Okay then what? You guys haven't even graduated yet."

" I know. But I can do this. But Eddie...He's gonna leave"

"No he won't. Looked at me." You turned to Robin. " Eddie is in love with you. Everyone knows it. He's never been like that with any one."

You shook your head. Robin hugged you trying her best to comfort you.

" y/n You gotta tell him."

Robin was right you had too. But you wanted to make sure 100% that you were. So you had to try and ignore Eddie until you knew for sure. How were you gonna do that? You guys practically slept together every night. It was spring break so at least you were going down to Florida to visit family for a week so you could go to the free clinic there. No one would know you so you wouldn't have to worry about anyone telling Eddie.. But when you got back you knew you couldn't keep him away. Oh man he's gonna bolt. I just know it.

...

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE PUT ME THRU?!" Eddie was beyond pissed.

" Eddie I'm sorry." You sighed

" SORRY YOU'RE SORRY!" Eddie paused for a second to calm down." Y/n it's been 11 days, 7 hours, 27 minutes and 38-39 seconds since I've seen or spoke to you."

"Eddie that's just weird."

"I don't give a crap. You knew who I was when we started dating."

You sighed and leaned against the kitchen wall. You were fidgeting with the phone cord.

"You ok sweet girl?" Eddie said finally calm.

" Yeah...I'm good."

" Are you home?"

" Uh yeah Eddie I'm home."

" What's wrong?"

You hesitate for a while." Eddie i-" you took a deep breath. " Eddie I don't think we should see each other anymore."

Eddie was quiet for a second on the other end of the line. Then he blurted out laughing.

" Ok babe you got me. So I'm gonna head over."

"Eddie" you whimpered. Just the way you said it Eddie knew you weren't joking.

"Wait w-what? N-no not happening. I-i " Eddie was a stuttering mess.

" I'm sorry Eddie."

" What d-did I do? I'm sorry. W-whatever I did tell me. So i-i can fix it."

"Eddie you can't. There's nothing to fix."

" Is there someone else?"

" No. There's no one. How could you ask me that?"

" Well then what is it? Tell me y/n."

" Eddie I don't love you anymore." That was the biggest lie you have ever told.

" You don't mean that..."

" I got to go." You said before hanging up.

"You ok Honey?"

"Yeah mom. It's just better this way."

Your mom knew about the situation though she didn't understand why you would break up with Eddie she just wanted what was best for you.

" Ok honey. I'm gonna go to work. Call me if you need anything."

You nodded and she kissed you on the top of your head and left.

...

It wasn't even 20 minutes after the phone conversation when Eddie was pounding on the door.

" Y/n if you don't open this door right now. I swear to God-"

You opened the door and that stopped Eddie from finishing his sentence.

" What?! You think that you can just have me fall in love with you and then drop me like I meant nothing." Eddie's eyes were red and puffy from crying. You could see the tears marks left on his cheeks.

"Eddie..."

"No. Whatever this is. We have to work it out. We need to. You love me. I know you do."

You swallowed the lump that was building in your throat.

" Y/n please . What's going on? You can tell me. I promise I won't be upset."

" Eddie I'm pregnant." The words came out like vomit. You didn't look at him. You couldn't watch him high tail it out of there."

Eddie cleared his throat. " uhh I thought you were on-"

"I am or I was. Can't now."

"When did you find out?"

" uh just before I left for Florida."

"What?! Why did you wait so long to tell me?"

" I-I was scared."

" Of me? Y/n you never have to be scared of me."

" I'm not scared of you Eddie." You kept your eyes on the floor. You had the thought that the floor never looked so good. " I was scared that you-"

" That I was gonna leave.....oh my love. The light of my life. The reason I live and breath."

"Eds."

Eddie knew that he messed around a lot. He was always over the top. But when you said his name like that he knew you need him to be serious.

" Do you want to keep it?"

You nodded. " Eddie you don't have to stay. I can-"

Eddies laugh caught you of guard. That's when your eyes finally met. He was smiling.

" I don't understand." You were so confused

That's when Eddie hugged you and lifted you up spinning you around. Yeah Eddie was crazy strong. But it still surprised you that he could lift you with such ease.

"Of course I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna take care of you and our??" Eddie said while putting you down.

" It's too early to tell."

"Well whatever they are I'm happy. As a matter of fact." Eddie pulled your hand leading you towards your room." I'm gonna make sure my seed took."

"Ed's are you sure about this?"

Eddie stopped and turn to you. " What did you think this was?" Eddie pointed his finger between you two. " This is forever and I mean that. There is no one in this world-in this universe that I want to be the mother of my children other than you. I swear."

...

After doing what got you in this predicament in the first place Eddie held you rubbing your back.

" Oh God. I'm gonna gain so much weight."

" Yeah so?" Eddie said lifting his head to look at you.

" Eddie I already look like a baby elephant."

"Hey don't say that about my child's mother....you are beautiful." Eddie lifted your chin to kiss you. " And sexy" he landed another kiss.

" Eddie you know that we can't have sex for like 6 weeks after the baby's born."

Eddie sat up and hovered over your face while you got comfy under him. " Guess we are gonna have to make up for it right now."

"Eddie" you whined

"Y/n" Eddie mimicking your whine. He looked down to your tummy and started talking to your unborn baby.

" Look son I'm gonna need you to close your eyes and cover your ears, cuz daddy's gonna do something to your mommy that you are way to young to see."

You giggle and Eddie looked back up to you. Kissing you again.

"Ready my sweet girl?"

You nodded and pulled Eddie in for another kiss.

[sauerland-2001]

Druck chat, Saturday 23rd October

Kieu My:  Are you still in that pub?

Ismail:  Zoe and Finn have left. We’re playing another round of darts.

Kieu My:  Ok....I’m already in bed

Zoe:  We’ll be there soon too

Kieu My:  What time are we leaving tomorrow?

Zoe:  We have to check out by 12 pm at the latest.  But we can do something after that, too?  (Going) to the pier again?

Ismail:  Meeting someone in the afternoon, so maybe (we should) leave early?

Finn:  Yeah, you never know about traffic and such

Zoe:  Leaving right away is fine by me too

Kieu My: 👍

Ismail:  Wake me up in case I’m comatose

Finn:  💯

[lavender-annd-lilac]

Dear diary, ✍️

Recently, a post on my dash informed me that commenting on older fics was Not Cringe and people wouldn’t judge me for it so I decided to go through my pile of drafts (ie. things I have been meaning to look at) and pick something to read. My dash wouldn’t lie to me, right?? 🥺

Sincerely,

- why do I even have to sign my name like who else would even DARE write in MY diary smh 😒 the 3rd (I was named after my mom and her mom before that)

Ok hi,

So my brain has been real useless lately and I can’t remember who/what I have or haven’t reblogged

😵‍💫

So I guess, if this is the first unhinged comment you are receiving from me, I’m sorry and I guess here is what to expect should you decide to continue reading (I recommend that u not lol. Commenting in real time when I read helps my reading comprehension and is a cathartic experience, but idk what value it has outside of that lmao. Just consider this a reblog with some extra debris attached 😂)

⚠️My usual disclaimer is: nervous attempts at humour = my love language and the only way I know how to show appreciation for things I enjoy.

so basically like, if u ever watched Mystery Science Theatre 3000 where they watch a movie and riff on it, that’s the only way I know how to comment.

“FUCK YOU, LANCE!” 

Me when I can’t beat my former “friend” who ambushes me in a surprise battle after defeating the Elite Four in Pokémon Crystal 😠

Lol jk this guy was a pushover. All dragon types??? Seriously??? So predictable 🙄

from the near half hour of arguing

Any “argument” involving raised voices that extends beyond 5 min is a lost cause tbh. Past that point, it’s not even about anything anymore. It becomes some kind of primal competition about lung capacity and stamina.

you did not plan on losing this argument anytime soon

Lmao this is what I mean!!!

Even if at some point u realize u are wrong, and the sun does NOT revolve around the earth, u double down and stand your ground for at least another 300 years.

The only time it is acceptable to admit your opponent was correct is long after they are dead and the original argument itself is no longer relevant.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes, “oh, I’m pretty sure it’d be short line,”

As a Scorpio 🦂 (and therefore someone who holds a grudge FOREVER), I feel VERY qualified to offer some criticism here:

This kind of counter argument is actually a rookie move. It’s a trap. It might seem like an insult bc u are implying not many people would be in the line, right?? Ok, 2/5 for effort. 😐

But actually, you’ve made a crucial misstep by even acknowledging the line in the first place. Girl, don’t give concessions to the enemy like that!!

He says, “Get in line”????

🤨

You say, “What fucking line ?”

Then, the specific insult u follow up with varies from situation to situation. Since this guy is a narcissist I would recommend some petty remark about his appearance like,

“the only lines I see here are those deep ass wrinkles, bitch. Your forehead might as well be the Pacific Ocean with Mariana’s Trench running across it.”

And yes, this is rude af, irrelevant, ad hominem, etc. but like I always say, double down, stand your ground, and stick around (until you emerge victorious).

Ty for coming to my TED talk. 👍

Like, follow and subscribe for more toxic ways to win in an argument, or at least bruise the other person’s ego.

His chest was heaving up and down as he cornered you against the desk

The enemy is showing weakness!!! This is your chance!!

The kiss was all teeth and tongue, another way of fighting

Yeah…. so I trained at the school of the pen (I hear it’s mightier than the school of the sword) so I can’t offer any advice once the fight becomes physical.

🤷‍♀️

Just like an amateur diver in Mariana’s Trench, I’m out of my depth here and I respectfully bow out

A deep groan leaves him when you suddenly drag your nails across his scalp, tugging harshly at his hair,

Hey did you guys ever enjoy the lice checks they used to do in middle school and stuff? It was actually like a really soothing scalp massage. Plus u would get to skip like 15 minutes of math class or whatever

you yelp as his teeth sink into your skin

Whoa, take a chill pill Luis Suarez. That’s a yellow card if not a straight red tbh.

He sucks bruise after bruise into the sensitive column of your throat

Huh, kind of an unconventional method…. but hey, dolphin/man hybrid Michael Phelps uses cupping as well and he’s a winner 🤷‍♀️ the bruises do look pretty gnarly tho

Lance swipes everything from the desk in one quick motion

These are the actions of a man who knows some poor janitor will have to pick all that shit up. Smh

😒

neither of you bothering to care about the mess around you

The minimum wage employee that comes in after to clean up

“Aww, you’ve been trying to hide this pretty cock from me, haven’t you, Lance?”

/rDoes Anybody Else

DAE actually feel MORE comfortable when their employers/colleges “hide” their genitalia at work? Or just me? I’m really ok with not seeing that stuff…

You took this opportunity to mouth at his neck, giving him a matching love bite over his pulse point. 

Me, still low key cheering for reader to “win”:

holding on for dear life as he devours your most delicate parts hungrily

“Alex, I’ll take incorrect quotes from Hannibal for 500 pls”

fucked out state

Goddamnit I don’t know enough about American geography/history to make a joke here😓. I mean, California is pretty chill, I’ve heard?

He was sure he died and went to heaven

Lol not so fast there buddy, I feel like his soul definitely weighs more than a feather or whatever measuring unit they use up there

⚖️

Finally coming down from what was the most intense high he’s ever had

My dude, have you ever had more than 7g’s of shrooms in one sitting though? I’m just saying, try taking a heroic dose and come back after the individual fibres on your carpet stop dancing the Macarena 🫠

When you turn around, Lance had just finished putting everything back on the desk

Oh shit. Wow…. I actually feel bad for assuming he would just leave all that crap on the ground. Huh.😵‍💫 I guess that makes me the judgemental jerk now?

Eh 🤷‍♀️😅

Anger Issues

Summary: You and Lance like to argue. You hate him, he hates you, that’s how it’ll always be… right?

Pairing: Lance Tucker x fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT, so 18+ (minors DNI), hate fucking, choking, name calling, Lance Tucker being Lance Tucker but my interpretation of him

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: Hey, wee lambs! I missed you guys. I hope you like this one. I was supposed to be working on pt. 2 of Games and Lectures but I ended up writing for this guy instead. Oops, teehee. Like 99.99999% of my fics, this started as a filthy, naughty thot that I sent to @slothspaghettiwrites​ many moons ago. Leave a comment or send an ask if you have any suggestions, ideas, constructive criticism, or just want to chat :) Kisses —K 

P.S. this is for you @tumblin-theworldaway

Next part Series Masterlist

~~~~~~

“FUCK YOU, LANCE!” 

You shouted at the top of your lungs, your throat a bit sore from the near half hour of arguing. You’d just about had it, and so had he. All the yelling and shouting and name-calling that was so common between you and Lance always ended with both of you red faced and fuming. 

Today was no different. The gym was empty, everyone had cleared out once they heard your voices shouting from the office. You can’t even remember what you were fighting about anymore, you just knew that Lance Tucker was the bane of your existence and that you did not plan on losing this argument anytime soon. 

Keep reading

[galaxywhump]

Reconnaissance

Trope: Being Watched Fandom: Original Work

[Masterlist]

[blue for requested, red for completed]

Timeline: roughly one year pre-capture

This one wasn’t requested, but I got inspired, so here it is.

cw: pre-whump, implied slavery whump/human trafficking, stalking, creepy/intimate whumper, betrayal, alcohol abuse.

taglist: @faewhump​ @inky-whump​ @whole-and-apart-and-between​ @slaintetowhump​ @moose-teeth​ @whatwasmyprevioususername​ @procrastinatingsab​ @insanitywishes​ @special-spicy-chicken​ @redstainedsocks​ @garbagewhump​

~~~

“Smile for the camera!”

“Hey, I wasn’t ready!”

“Eh.” Berkeley shrugs, opening the gallery on his phone. “Doesn’t look too bad. But I can take another one if you want.”

Edwards rolls her eyes and smiles, doing a peace sign, then a thumbs up. Berkeley laughs, snapping photo after photo after photo.

“You’re gorgeous, darling, gorgeous!” he says in an over-the-top manner, and there’s more laughter. “Okay, time for a new victim.”

He turns around and points the phone at Wren, who up until now has been watching their antics with a patient smile, tapping one fingernail against the empty shot glass.

“Smile!”

He shakes his head with an awkward chuckle, putting his hand forward to shield his face from the camera.

“Aw, lieutenant, don’t be like that!” Edwards says, pouting, and Berkeley nods in agreement.

“The best squad in the League deserves to be immortalized,” he grins, and Wren can’t help smiling as well. “And what’s a squad without its leader?”

“The best leader!” someone shouts drunkenly and others join in, cheering. Wren puts his hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture.

“Gah, you’re embarrassing me!” he says, and Berkeley uses this moment to take a quick photo.

“Guys, I did it!” he whoops, putting his fist up in the air, and Wren rolls his eyes at him, genuine smile never leaving his face. Berkeley moves closer and unceremoniously wraps his arm around him, turning on the front-facing camera and holding the phone up. “Now a selfie!”

Wren lowers his head, shaking with laughter, and Berkeley squeezes him tight.

“Come on, don’t be a buzzkill,” he says, blue eyes glimmering with excitement and intoxication; he jokingly pokes Wren in the cheek, making him laugh even harder, though the way he flinches doesn’t go unnoticed. “One pic.”

“Alright, alright!” Wren looks up at the camera, at their bright eyes and wide smiles.

“Drunken selfie!” Berkeley shouts, the sound almost deafening Wren.

“Drunken selfie!” he echoes, and the phone screen lights up one, two, three times.

“Woohoo!”

“Shut the fuck up!” someone screams from the other end of the bar, and both Wren and Berkeley flip them off, laughing away, until the other rangers call for them to come join for a toast and proceed to scream at them to hurry up as Wren goes to get a refill and Berkeley leaves for a moment to urgently text a friend.

-heres ur sunshine 😎

Daniel takes another sip of his beer and zooms in on the pictures, his smile as wide as Wren’s.

-hope ur not jealous 😏, another message follows, and he shakes his head with a laugh.

-Like I consider you competition, kid.

-damn

-nvm

-ull get the files soon

-cant believe were doing this

-freakin insane

-ur a crazy son of a bitch daniel

He snickers again, tapping his fingers on the table, a pleasant shiver of excitement running down his back.

-Just don’t chicken out on me.

-i wont

-but it might take a while u know

-I’m a patient man.

-👍

-ok ppl r waiting for me gtg

-Have fun, you two.

-=-

Wren Rackham

Age: 24

Gender: male

Occupation: League ranger, first lieutenant

Family: Father: Nathaniel Rackham, Mother: no data, Siblings: none

Marital/Relationship status: bachelor, single

Miscellaneous: TBA

—

Type: special order

Ordered by: Daniel Rooney

Daniel gets up to pace around the room for a moment, close to bursting from ecstasy and anticipation.

It’s all so official, so real. Right there, before his very eyes, confirmation of his victory. He still needs to wait, of course, but he has waited so long already - what’s a few more months when the prize is so worth the wait?

-=-

“I don’t have any-anyone,” Wren mumbles into the bar, which further muffles his slurred words. “Juss- no one. At all. I’m s-so fffucking lonely all the fucking time.”

“I’m sorry,” the bartender says, looking at him with helpless sympathy, wishing some patron would come up to order something and save her for just a moment. “Maybe it’s… not that bad?”

“It fucking isss…” he groans, lifting his head, the sudden movement almost making him fall from the stool. “My life sucks.” 

She tries to come up with anything to say to that, but fails spectacularly.

I’m a goddamn intern, she thinks, her eyes darting around the bar. Not a therapist.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she says, and Wren tries to focus his glistening gaze on her before moving it lower, to his empty glass.

“Iss okay. Jusss pour me ‘nother one.”

She sighs and reaches for the glass.

“Sorry, but I think I’ll need to cut you off.” She keeps her voice soft and calm, but her body tenses as she waits for him to lash out on her like she’s seen so many drunks before do. To her relief he just sighs, resigned, and lets his head drop again.

The man at the end of the bar types something on his phone and holds it at an inconspicuous angle as he snaps a photo.

Miscellaneous: depressed, isolated, drinking problem,

He hears Wren’s slurring voice and looks up to see him talking with someone equally intoxicated; the person reaches to brush their fingers over Wren’s cheek, and he leans into the touch with a serene smile.

The man follows them with his gaze as they disappear behind the back door; he raises his eyebrows with a smirk and types some more.

desperate for affection.

He too gets up from his stool and leaves the bar, camera at the ready.

-=-

“Well, now you won’t convince me you’re not jealous.”

“I don’t consider drunk assholes competition either,” Daniel says, perfectly calm as he scrolls past the picture of two silhouettes in a tight embrace.

“That’s fair,” Berkeley snorts. “So, your offer still stands? Cause if you’ve changed your mind tell me now, I don’t wanna be left in the lurch.”

“You won’t.” Daniel stops browsing for a moment, his gaze lingering on one of the photos, a fond smile forming on his lips, softening his features. “He looks nice with a smile.”

“Don’t get used to it, I doubt he’ll be smiling when he gets here.”

He shrugs.

“I don’t mind. He’s perfect anyway.”

“You’re a goner, buddy,” Berkeley scoffs and reaches for the tablet to open Wren’s files again; he starts to hum a joyous tune only to stop himself and shake his head.

Daniel doesn’t seem to mind, though, completely absorbed by the pictures.

“You know what?” Berkeley says, skimming through the files only to come back to the ‘Miscellaneous’ section. “I never thought this whole thing would be this easy.”

“This whole thing?” Daniel looks at him and raises his eyebrows. “We’ve only got a file so far.”

“It’s a start! But I’m not talking about that. I’m talking…” Berkeley clicks his tongue, frowning. “I’m talking about freakin’ Nathaniel Rackham’s only son being such a hot mess. I thought he’d be surrounded by… people, I guess? Or that he’d be more careful, at least, instead of clinging to randos.”

“All the better for us.”

“Absolutely!” he laughs and smiles to himself as he reads the last addition to the section, the conclusion, underlined three times. “He really is perfect.”

no one will miss him.

  Next

[hopelesshawks]

congrats on 600 (and 700 now!!!!)

hi I'm mikah, she/her and bi!! (my blog is soft-nitro!), I would love to get a match up <3

I'm an aries but I tend to not show my aries tendencies until I really get to know you. basically I'm initially kind of shy! I love exploring, I love going to the gym and hiking. I just like going outside to soak in the sun! my other hobbies are video games, playing guitar, singing very loudly (and poorly) in my apartment, cooking, and crafting!! I like being spontaneous too

my top love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch. I put my whole heart into a relationship and I do my best to encourage my partner and make sure they know they're cherished and loved. I tend to be the one taking care of others a lot (especially within my family), so I often like being the one taken care of/being protected instead! I am an absolute sucker for any romantic gestures lol 🤭 like I will Melt. I either react very strongly to things, or sometimes things like rarely bother me, like I can get really heated in arguments and end up with tears in my eyes but other times i'm just like 😀 👍 ok! also I love love love hugs

tysm, I hope that's enough information!!! and i hope your day is going well <3

Sorry it’s taking so long to get to the last of these but I’m finally back with more match ups!

I considered this for a minute and I’ve decided to match you with Kaminari Denki!

He is a ride or die simp above all else. Whatever adventure you’re going on, he’s down to join with just because it means more time with you. You may have to drag him to the gym with you if you go in the mornings but once you’re there he’s your cheerleader from start to finish. Video games and guitar he gets and he’ll play games or jam with you all day every day. You wanna sing loudly and poorly? He’s right there with you, matching you note for terrible note. He’s down for spontaneous, in fact he prefers it that way, and he loves taking you on spontaneous little late night adventures.

Denki is 100% a physical touch and words of affirmation kid of guy. He loves holding you in his arms or playing with your fingers or just being physically close to you in whatever way he can. He’ll shower you with all the love and affection you can handle and he’s obsessed with big romantic gestures. He’s been taking mental notes during every romantic film he’s ever seen ever and he cannot wait to finally use that knowledge to spoil you. He’s gonna give you the same caring and encouraging, whole heart energy right back to you in the relationship. Imma be honest, Denki is kind of a mess but he’s going to try so hard to take care of you, especially knowing how much you take care of others. So be patient with him, it’ll take him a second but he’ll get the hang of it and learn how to take care of you exactly the way you need.

Idk if you have Sonic where you’re from or if it even exists outside of the states lmao but I am obsessed with dates like this.

“Are we insane?” you ask giggling, windows down in the car as you and Denki drive down the highway.

“Now what would make you think that?” he grins, eyes leaving the road briefly to look over at you in the passenger seat.

“It’s 2am and we’re driving an hour out of the city for Sonic.”

“And? You were craving a shake. I was craving fries. So this was the obvious solution.”

“We passed like 6 McDonald’s on the way here.”

“Yea but I was thinking about Sonic the other day and this will be way more of an experience then just McDonald’s!”

It doesn’t take much longer for you guys to arrive at Sonic, pulling into one of the drive up stalls. You both order as soon as you arrive and the novelty of having someone roller skate up to your window to deliver your food only adds to the overall excitement of the night. Soon you’ve got the windows back up, talking and laughing as you polish off your food. Time passed quickly even though it’s late but you never grow bored of talking with each other, bouncing from topic to topic.

The flow of conversation is only interrupted when Denki notices your favorite song start playing over the speakers. He beams at you, hurrying to turn the volume up as high as you two can stand and as soon as the first words start you both sing along at the top of your lungs. It’s off pitch and loud and you both keep laughing in the middle of trying to sing which only makes matters worse, but as Denki looks over at you the only thing he can think is how much he loves you.

So the next time you go to take a breath he reels you into him instead, kissing you breathless. He only separates from you when your lungs’ demand oxygen and even then he presses another peck to your lips. The words that come out of his lips next flow straight from his heart and he knows with his entire being that he means every single one:

“You’re the best fucking thing to ever happen to me. Never forget that.”