#but it’s just not feasible to be doing shit with people or be with people all the time
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something something mtt and branding (i dont know what i can say here but it just feels right. one of them probably has a brand. it's probably killer. erm.........)
#on the topic of torture anyways!!!!#no because like it just makes sense ok i cant explain it but it does#i WOULD say all of them have a brand onto them but i just cant feasibly find a way for it to happen#but i WANT it to. I WANT IT. ill find a way man TRUST#back with the l8 nite posts hmmm why do i only think about mtt post dinner tine nowadays. anyways#when people make horror animalistic and feral and stuff (i dont care much for that characterization of him)#he should have a brand somewhere#mtt are so fucked up they probably do that shit to each other and there must be ONE time it wasn't consensual#god i need them to want eachother. not need. just want#killer's brand is probably on his goddamn soul or something#dust's would be on his palms i feel. or backs of hand. he cant forget about it that way#and horror's would be inside his skull it gets itchy a lot#hot iron or cold??? killer's would be red iron hot i feel. probably something that happened in smth new with chara#and then dust's would also be hot because he can handle it#horror the pussy he is would not do that shit with hot iron he'd do it cold#someone else take this idea from me its a good idea i just idk what 2 do about it#tricule rant
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the thing about growing up too fast is that so many people think fondly on their childhood as a time they got to rely on other people and be carefree. but when you were parentified & abused in a poor family, that's just genuinely never a thing. and it's actually like. super depressing & demeaning to know that you've been the only one there for yourself your entire life and that has never changed. like you learned the lesson of "I'm the only one I can rely on to get me out of shit" by the time you were old enough to think
so by the time you're an adult and you do now have to pay your own bills and do your own chores and deal w your own adult life, that's a struggle your peers are just getting used to & can sometimes find exciting and new and doable. but when you've been doing that Forever it's kind of just like
Okay. and when is it my turn to lean on someone? to let someone take the reigns and not have to think? and the answer is, of course, never. because you're an adult Forever now & you didn't get the chance to rely on others as a kid and you're far too responsible Now to stop and let go of responsibilities like some of your peers
heinous
#does this even make sense lmao#it's just like. sometimes I envy people that can fuck off and not do shit#like my sister for example#but that's just genuinely Never been in the cards for me but man it'd be nice to share the burden :)#I just want someone to tell me to go to sleep and they can handle it for like a week#but that's not feasible and it'll never happen so I'm stuck in the endless loop of being there for me As Always#sick of it sick of being an adult sick of relying on myself sick of having to do shit on my own sick OF IIIIIT#ignore me I'm in a mood. yknow what I need. weed.
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i feel like a lot of people ignore the fact that in a lot of places, bicycling just. cannot be done for half the year, & that's why public transport being good is important. i cannot bike in 5 feet of snow & ice or in 40c heat. i can't even walk in that, unless i have the energy to snowshoe or a bucket of ice water to chug.
"but I can do it!" good for you. unfortunately i live in Berk (snowing for 9 months of the year & hailing the other 3) & cannot unless i want to die. also disabled people exist. & children. & people who live in a place where everything is no closer than 30 minutes away, & 30 minutes in -30c can kill you if you can't afford a good pair of boots & a good coat. i may have bike paths but the river floods past them every year. what do i do then? bike on the highway?? just let me take the train
#people who live in places where the weather is always nice (aka not trying to kill you 75% of the time): you are an outlier#where i live the temperatures range from -30c to +35c give or take. snow hail thunderstorms tornadoes all that shit too#''biking is so fun! even when it's raining!'' dude ima be real with you. it is ice raining. i do not want to be coated in wet ice#do you know what snowmelt is? it's where all the snow melts in the spring & then fucking floods everything#it's freezing dirty water & it kills people because people always underestimate The River#i am not riding my bike through that. it's always colder & deeper than you think & there is always a current even if you can't see it#''but it's not like it's the ocean'' dude. water aint fucking around salt or no#you may look at The River & think ''that's just a lake. seems calm & nice'' but you'd be wrong & you would die from your foolishness#this shit is connected to the Great Lakes. those fuckers are fresh water seas. i do not fuck with that#it's great you live in a place where biking all year round is feasible. but i cannot do that even if i wanted to#''but what if the weather's been nice lately'' then you'd be falling for fool's spring#where it looks like it's getting warmer & then the temperature drops & it snows a whole bunch again#& then it warms up & then it snows again. repeat until like May#we just want good public transport okay i get that exercise is good but i'd rather not risk my extremities for it thank you
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Price your art high otherwise people won't see the value in it and it won't sell!
Price your art low otherwise people won't be able to afford it and it won't sell!
Well! Maybe! My art just doesn't sell! Ever think of that?
#seriously i have no idea how people do it in person out of person online offline it makes no damn difference#everyone coos over my stuff but i can rarely even give my shit away for free when i offer so like...#and i appreciate that it is niche and stuff but sometimes...sometimes i am just fucking tired guys...#as much as i love the idea of doing more art booths.... i cannot afford $60-100 table fees if I'm only doing at most $50 in sales...#and i just want to go out for something to do but that's not feasible because of the table fees#so.... idk.... this experience has been good but also frustrating#i am just happy that most of my nonart supplies were gotten for cheap or at least on various points programs so it wasnt actually as out of#pocket but like.... wow to say i am both in wild amounts of pain AND highly discouraged is an understatement
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...
#i am so lost and sad and tired#the trudge feels neverending#and trying to jobsearch through the trudge might be the thing that fucking kills me#i feel like its been too long and i cant even complain to people anymore and i am just suffering#trying to keep a brave face and do rhings so i dont get evem more depressed#trying to not be an absolute piece of shit at work for my coworkers#i wish so bad it was financially feasible to just quit#i want to quit i want to quit i want to quit#i just need some good energy and some hope so bad right now like one fucking interview would be great
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😬
#weird thing about my mental state rn#i am pretty anxious and paranoid and miserable while alone#which is most of the time#other than parents#but when i’m actually doing something with people i feel 99% normal#but it’s just not feasible to be doing shit with people or be with people all the time#so i just have to wait for my brain to stop this era of misery#which i am assuming is due to the lack of sunlight#ograt
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"DIY tiny home you can build in weeks", ok... now lets see the cost
...seven and a half minutes later, the answer is $75k... so when you include land and all the rest of it, so basically nothing right?
This is my problem with tiny homes stuff, it's for rich people
#and as much as I'm pro home ownership since like... my house is pretty much what's made my life feasible#like I know two things for a fact; we don't have room to give every last person a house#(especially if they're basically one bedroom sized things dotting the land)#and not everyone even wants to own a home#but like... lets say that everyone did want to own a place... we can't even do single family stuff let alone infinite tiny homes#so you'd need to have at least some homes in the form of basically owned units in an apartment complex which... sounds like condos#and so... I legit don't even come close to having the answer for this#but the sad thing is... a commie block kind of beats a tiny home if we're honest I think#not even in some like... brutalist dystopian shoving people together kind of way#like I think I'd rather live in a well maintained commie block style apartment than in one of infinite tiny homes doting the land#I really really really like tiny homes as a concept... but every time you look at them you realize... it's all for rich people#and half of them are just gentrified trailers or closet sized apartments getting dressed up by an architect to up the price#like I'm not even trying to shit on this company cause like I'm for assembly line style home production#especially compared to the cheap shit we throw up now; it makes me with I could puke in anger and disgust at it#they showed clips to contrast with of a home being tossed up and the shit materials they use disgust me#seeing massive... whatever you call those new home blights... communities I guess; springing up they always look like they're made of trash#so yeah... I like this building style better than shitty single family homes 'from the low 300s'#but I think that these people are either doing a sales pitch; missing the big picture; or both when they talk about this#like this can't fix the housing crisis cause... one no one can afford shit even if it's... lets say $175k; that's a lot to ask most people#but two is it won't work long term to just dot a million little houses across the land#cause quite apart from finding all that land; think of all the electric grid and water infrastructure you have to lay#(or are these people expected to be able to afford solar and all that? cause... they ain't poor if they're doing that)#(and I'd kind of like poor people to not be screwed by the housing problems we have; the rich can get bent honestly)#I like living on my own in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere; I wouldn't want someone right next to me#so I'm literally the kind of person people bitching about rural folks is bitching about; so know that's not what I'm saying#but let's be honest... we need better and cheaper urban infrastructure and we need less suburbs and housing communities#and that's where the solution is gonna lie; not in reinventing the single family home (or smaller)#eh... I really really really like tiny homes and think they're neat... but I can't help but see they're rich people play things#...and that's my thoughts on this#it's kind of like how solar is nice and all... but just a few good nuclear plants would be a better solution than solar on every roof
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people commenting on videos of vending macjine parks/soup/ramen vending machines like woooow i wish we had those in america!!! like im so sorry man our countrys health and food safety standards cant even get us school lunches without mold in them you know those shits wouldnt be cleaned if we had them
#cosmo.txt#see at some point while of course the whole 'thing; japan'ism is fetishism and weeb shit#they do just have like. better infrastructure than us. like thats it.#half of the things tje 'thing; japan' people want arent feasible in the us#either due to lack of health standards or poor wages
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I’m glad ppl on tiktok are doing ok
#hilarious shit#topic: sociopolitical commentary that is almost certainly an infuriating bummer to read#truly depressing that there are huge swaths of young people so estranged from their own capacity for creativity & imagination#that it's more feasible to THEM to say 'I was having the real life actual memories of Vash the Stampede'#rather than 'I'm a creative person with a vivid imagination and I feel really strong feelings for the fictional characters I like'#I was gonna write 'I can deeply empathize with the POV of fictional characters I like' in that previous point but I realized#that just like empathizing with people in REAL life you're only feeling strong emotions as you struggle to understand their perspective#you're not literally capable of experiencing that person's emotions. you're not an empath. you're just presuming how other people feel#& you still can't do it with fictional characters because everyone interprets even seemingly obvious motives & characterization differently
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watching Face Off s6 cause they released some more seasons to stream and man I forgot how almost everything about s6 makes me so angry
edit: just realized I’m a fool I was taking about season 6 not season 8. fixed the tags I could but sorry the numbers moved around in my mind 💀💀💀
#shhh sharkie#is it the sexism? is it the racism? is it that contestants bombed so many challenges? who knows!#I hate that they sent so many of the women home so they got to like final 6 or 7 and it was already all guys#I hate that they sent Cat home RIGHT before the Japan trip when a) the judges knew this trip was happening and especially cause#b) SHE WAS THE ONLY ASIAN CONTESTANT#and arguably any of the other people on the bottom could have feasibly gone home#yeah it wasn’t her best and it was week two in a row on the bottom but Darren’s choices weren’t her fault#and tbh the fact that he made it so much further in the competition than her after that is disgusting to me#and then there’s how they executed the challenges as well I’m still so mad about the cryptids#how do you fuck up a chupacabra and the Jersey Devil SO BADLY#the main thing I like about the season is that Rashaad wins cause he fucking deserved that he’s an amazing artist#but from the get-go the judges this season sent home women for way smaller mistakes than the men and it fucking blows#and rn I’m on the anime challenge and like. these people needed to attend like a comic-con or something.#you don’t need to sculpt anime-drawn eyes to make a character from an anime.#please take guidance from actual anime cosplayers who make these costumes and props and makeups#you don’t need to sculpt anime eyes to get anime eyes. like they all came out so hokey looking.#like that’s ‘creepy mannequin come to life’ kind of shit#augh anyway not trying to be a hater I just love this show and also have a lot of anger welling inside me#and it’s manifesting in trying to just speed through watching this season so I can be DONE and move on#I love this show! I just forgot that I fucking hate this season and I’m too much of a completionist to give up and move on.#besides I do really like the finale. I just need to know what happens in between to really be able to enjoy the finale and move on to S9#EDIT COMING BACK TO THIS RE: SEXISM#WHEN TOP TWO IS A MAN AND A WOMAN THEY ALMOST ALWAYS PICK THE MAN AS THE WINNER#EVEN IF THE WOMAN’S MAKEUP WAS STRONGER#I actually wonder if they got like called out for this? cause it all improves a bit after this season iirc#but so many of the judging decisions in this season are just atrocious
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Brute: ah yes I have finally gotten Softie to communicate with Queen and Alpha which has already done wonders for basically repairing the former and beginning the repairs for the latter. Maybe I can finally be free from this hell of my own creation and live with my loved ones happily -]
The evil and nefarious Beats:
#rat rambles#eternal gales#oc posting#I love past timeline beats sm shes so. <3#bestie when the two people who she destroyed herself to be able to stand by suddenly go oh yeah we were being shitty sorry lol#particularly with softie it burns because she had to smother and kill so many of her morals by staying by their side#so it feels like the rug is being pulled under her and she freaks out hard#despite the fact that shed at some point desperately wanted them to do smth like this them actually doing it feels like a personal betrayal#and for brute this is a particularly gnarly problem to try to keep from escalating#mainly because with the others even though shit is messy and complicated it ultimately could be largely helped through communication#but its that exact communication that causes beats to spiral and its rly hard for them to try to do damage control without like forcefully#seperating them the whole time which is Not feasible#and beats is a Very angry and vengeful person once you get on her shit list which is typically hard to do but this does it#which makes it hard to use memory carryover sceneanigans to help because even if brute fully explained the situation and looped enough#times to stop beats from getting flower powered shed still be fully on team lets just kill softie then#taking beats and removing her morals is a great way to get a guy who thinks murder can solve any problem#also this stuff is not at all easy to just fuck around and find out with because before Any of this other shit can happen softie needs#their character development first which is already a doozy to try and brute force#theres a reason why brute eventually said fuck it and rewound things to back when they were all kids#its not easy to be a relationship counselor to a group of teenagers who are very prone to murdering eachother and youre also a teenager#bro brute was a wrestler before all this they are Not equipt to deal with any of this#and even If they managed to get through all of that theyd still have to deal with the horrible realization that two completely separate#members of the friend group have been consistently murdering eachother every loop this whole time and now they have to deal with that#that never happens in canon ofc cause brute never got that far but I think if they did they'd just walk up to the time flower themself
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I LOVE COLLEGE. I want to go home though 😭
#I want to be with my friends!!! at home!!!!#I want my car I want to drive around my streets at night#I want my own room and my bathroom I feel comfy in (thank god for a suite bathroom I wouldn’t be able to deal with a hall bath)#I want to be like max 20 minutes away from my friends. this boils down to I miss my friends#we should all just go live in an apartment complex together#I was really onto something with making my friends and I in Tomodachi Life like that’s the ideal right there#maybe not economically feasible but it would be so good#I do love college a lot though and I’m really liking LI so far#I wish I were better at getting close with my new friends#but the ones I get along with the most don’t do much going out (either studying or sleeping)#and there’s one who I Don’t like very much they’re so annoying but they’re always around everyone else#I think I’m just gonna have to suck it up about that tbh#because I want to be hanging out with everyone else more#tbh my orientation group was the best I miss that just not as much as I miss my other friends from home#it’s also been weird because like. bunch of hurricanes flooding etc happening at home. and it feels weird to not be there and help out#I feel like I’m letting people down in not being there#another thing I miss is being so close to the water tbh#I didn’t think I would I am terrified of flooding#and I’m on an island like. this is Long Island. but I can’t see the water from where I am#and I can’t drive around to get to it#I’ve never lived somewhere where I wasn’t walking distance from a bay and it’s uncomfy#thankfully when I go visit my boyfriend! the train takes me over wate#r sorry time limit went off anyways when I took a train there it took me over some water in NJ I think it was nice to see#comforting and shit#anyways#cheese speaks#college moment#ugh being homesick is so weirddddd
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I want a cat. I want 5 cats. they'll help me actually live by being what I need to take care of so I have to take care of myself
#i just want to be less of an emotional and laborious burden on my family. i hate making them take care of me when i fall off on health#idk im sad and hungry#i still think it could be feasible to maybe turn the bedroom into a better use of space and we'd maybe all be able to sleep in it at once#and the whole other side house can belong to them and our side with us#idk. maybe they'd think it's not responsible enough to stuff our shit in one place but like#idk man i just want away from you people I'm tired of your voices I'm tired of your faces I'm tired of having to be around u worry about u#i dont fucking care i just don't ever want to see them again#idk i just hate how more and more i just get an anxiety response to them and it just gets worse over time#like its to the point now where like i dont even want them to talk to my children unsupervised. you dont get to influence them#like they fucking ruined their first and only attempt at having a kid im not fucking letting you do it again i dont trust you to ever#do any errands for me and my kids alone with them. like theyre not talking to them! sorry! you guys had nothing good to say in any emotional#level and anytime you guys have kids over all you do is make fun of them! so! you dont get to talk to my kids ever!#im genuinely so sad that its come to this but also like its not like theyve even done anything for me. its not like they know me#i dont fucking like them either like#i just want to never have to hear or see them ever again they bring me that much distress#i kind of just want to disappear in general because i feel like these thoughts r cruel so i may as well just kms bc im only gonna get worse
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I 100% agree with the criticism that the central problem with "AI"/LLM evangelism is that people pushing it fundamentally do not value labour, but I often see it phrased with a caveat that they don't value labour except for writing code, and... like, no, they don't value the labour that goes into writing code, either. Tech grifter CEOs have been trying to get rid of programmers within their organisations for years – long before LLMs were a thing – whether it's through algorithmic approaches, "zero coding" development platforms, or just outsourcing it all to overseas sweatshops. The only reason they haven't succeeded thus far is because every time they try, all of their toys break. They pretend to value programming as labour because it's the one area where they can't feasibly ignore the fact that the outcomes of their "disruption" are uniformly shit, but they'd drop the pretence in a heartbeat if they could.
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everyone must unlearn the phrase "eat the rich". none of you are responsible enough to use it in a way that means anything
#leaving the echo chamber that is tumblr for 2 years and then returning puts a lot of this site's ''radical'' ''socialism'' into perspective#i'm not politically active either and that's a personal failure of mine#but i am 99% sure that half of you are doing jack shit besides reblog and repeat slogans that are basically just memes at this point#i used to feel strongly about it all and felt all ''revolutionary''#ideologically i'm of course still on the left side of things but a lot of the things i used to preach as a teenager just don't seem feasibl#now that i've actually lived in the ''real'' world#idk#anyway enough about me. i am very sure that a whole lot of you people are in no way ''eating the rich'' nor are ''revolutionaries''#it'd be cool if we all were but i just don't think that is reality so repeating all these old 1800-1900s slogans#just bc they sound cool and powerful. just feels embarrassing. they are just memes now. internet leftist memes. breadtube style#i am not politically active or revolutionary i am tired and spent#i go to work i go to work i go to work i try to keep my apartment clean but it isn't working very well#my work/life balance is non existent and half of the time i'm just trying to enjoy a moment at a time and do something fun just engage#just engage in one singular hobby just indulge in some art form or try to engage in something creative and fun#but i am at work so much#i absolutely do not ever do anything political and revolutionary#''the personal is political'' well then i'm not doing very well for the world. politically speaking#BUT! i go to work and pay my taxes and i let my dishes sit in the sink for 2 weeks at a time and i don't eat cooked meals and i pay my rent#i pay my rent on time and i visit my parents once a month and i manage to vacuum my apartment once a month and i still haven't folded#my laundry#and i do not eat the rich#pickapost
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okay like two out of three of my cats are like… on death’s door basically despite them being all roughly the same age and sharing the same genetics (mother aged 16, son and daughter aged 15) and while i’ve accepted that i’ll be exceptionally lucky to get even another year or two with the momma cat (bonded to me) and that her son (bonded to my mom) is not too far behind… despite being the runt 15 years ago, the daughter (also bonded to me) is still quite spry and in good health so i literally tell her sometimes like you’d better live til you’re 20. i need at least five more years with you and also some time in between you and your mom dying. please.
#having old pets is sad#however i could not imagine willfully abandoning an elderly pet#which like… seems like it goes without saying but a lot of people do just decide their pet is too old and surrender it to a shelter#and miss daughter kitty was abandoned at like 10/11 by my cousin she did actually leave our household for a while#like who does that…#i mean no complaints i wanted to keep her when she was a kitten so i was more than happy to take her back but dude after ten years?#and she’s not even old in a sad way yet. and i’ve had her for an additional 4-5 years since#i mean it had something to do with her needing more attention after her other brother died and my cousin having kids and the cat probably#was not crazy about the kids she is very much a grumpy old lady even if she’s still lowkey a crackhead like a much younger cat#she is fat as fuck rn but idk what to do about that while the other two are still alive#like if we feed her less she will just steal more of their food than she already does because theyre too busy having arthritis to go eat#but like… we can’t just feed them less because they have a reduced appetite they still need to fucking eat…#so idk she’ll be going on a diet eventually but it’s not presently feasible#before i moved back in her diet was really strict because she hated my roomie’s cat so much she literally lived exclusively in my bedroom#so like i can adequately manage her diet when she’s not being a thief… but idk how to explain theft to a cat#at least i got her off iams dude idk what is in that shit but weaning her onto better food took at least six months and a lot of vomitting#like not ideal that she’s becoming obese again but she was this fat when i got her too (bc high carb iams diet)#HOWEVER her energy levels (while they’ve dropped since she was a healthy weight) are still wayy higher than when i got her#so getting fat from her high end gluten free purina and her relatives’ prescription hypoallergenic kibble and wet food for extra protein…#every other day (which has kept her from developing any visible muscle degeneration tyvm) is evidently healthier than being iams fat
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