#yeah it wasn’t her best and it was week two in a row on the bottom but Darren’s choices weren’t her fault

[honeypiehotchner]

kiss her, you fool (Hotch x fem!Reader) -- one shot

Anyway I'm back in the fucking building again!!!! Listened to "Kiss Her You Fool" by Kids That Fly and had this one shot written in like an hour. The love for Aaron Hotchner never dies apparently

Summary: You're in the middle of spring cleaning when Aaron calls and says he forgot something at your place (he didn't).

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff! I just wanted to write some romance

It’s the middle of the day and you’re in the middle of a cleaning frenzy when your phone rings for what looks like the third time. It’s Aaron.

“Hey! Sorry,” you laugh, grabbing the TV remote to pause your music, phone pressed to your ear with your shoulder. “I’m spring cleaning and clearly way too far in the zone. What’s up?”

“That’s okay,” you can hear him smiling as you readjust your phone in your hand. “Would it be alright if I stopped by? I think I left something there last night.”

You furrowed your brows, spinning around the living room. You definitely would’ve noticed if he left something here last night. You’ve practically turned your entire apartment upside down to clean it.

“Are you sure?” you ask, moving to lift the couch cushions for a third time. “What was it?”

“I’m not sure,” he says, which totally isn’t suspicious at all. “Can I just come look?”

“I mean,” you let out an awkward laugh. “I guess you can. I’ve been cleaning since this morning, though, so I think I would’ve spotted it, but—”

“I’ll be there in fifteen,” he says. “If that’s okay?”

You sigh, selfishly glad you’re getting to see him again, two days in a row. It feels like you’ve hit the jackpot. “Yeah, of course it’s okay.”

“Great, see you in a few.”

“See you,” you bite back your grin, ending the call. You turn the music back on, a little lower so you’ll hear him when he knocks.

You have no earthly idea what he could’ve forgotten. He had his phone and jacket in hand when he left. He never took his wallet or keys out of his jacket pockets, so they must’ve stayed there. Unless either of them fell out, but again, you feel like you would’ve noticed.

Whatever it is, he’ll either find it or realize it isn’t here. Regardless, you’re getting to see him again, so you’ll take it.

With his job, the days that you do see Aaron are typically one long day spent together here and there. Yesterday was an exception, a rare dinner mid-work week because he happened to be done at the office early and you were free, so obviously the opportunity was taken advantage of. It’s only been a few weeks of seeing one another, so you both take any chance you can get. 

Despite this, though, things have moved…slow. Slower than you expected because, to be frank, every guy you’ve been with has been quick and to the point. Not that you always minded that. Sometimes you wanted the same thing — quick, hot, heavy. But those days have since left you, and you went through a period of seeing no one, aside from one guy who left as soon as you said you were interested in moving slowly. 

It’s nothing against Aaron, but when he first introduced himself at your local coffee shop, you kind of assumed he’d be the same. It’s hard not to assume when everyone acted that way, and when the men who frequent said coffee shop don’t exactly have the best track record for being polite and respectful.

Aaron, though, took weeks to ask for your number, let alone to join your table one morning to sip his coffee — and even then, you offered him the seat; he didn’t invite himself. That alone was enough for you to agree to give him your number, and then to an official first date.

He kissed your cheek after the first date, your forehead after the second, and kept to those areas alone. You found yourself wondering if something was wrong with you somehow, but he wasn’t disinterested. Quite the opposite, actually, from how he held your hand and kept his arms around you, how he made sure you were safely inside your apartment before heading off, how he still texted when he arrived home to ask you if you were still safely inside.

Or when he had to cancel a date last minute, and sent flowers to your apartment in lieu of his presence. He apologized over the phone, but the flowers had an apology note attached too. And another apology when he arrived at your door four days later, fresh off the plane, with a real explanation of his job and why he didn’t have time to explain it all to you before he left.

Your friends think it’s a little crazy, that it’s been almost a month of dating and there hasn’t been a single kiss — “On the cheek doesn’t count!” they argue. You think it does. If anything, you’re just happy there’s no pressure.

The underlying anxiety is there, sure, of what if it never happens? But you can’t bring yourself to entertain the thought. Mainly because you want to kiss him so bad, you’re practically going to leap onto him one of these days.

You’re mid-dance when a knock sounds on your door and you jump, having forgotten Aaron said he would be here soon. You turn the music down as you head for the door, unlocking it to let him in.

He stands there in his usual dark suit, sans tie this time so the top buttons are undone, bouquet of flowers in hand and dumb smile on his face.

“What are these for?” you ask when he hands them to you. 

He steps inside and shuts the door, pausing to press a kiss to your forehead. “Because I wanted to.”

You give him a look, cheeks feeling warm. “If you keep doing this ‘because you want to,’ I’m gonna need to open a flower truck,” you joke, gesturing to the other vase of flowers sitting in your window. And there’s another in the bathroom. And one in your bedroom. 

“Just let me know what kind of truck you want,” he teases.

You press the flowers to your nose to hide your smile. “Oh, what did you forget? You’re welcome to look for it, but—”

He lets out a laugh, scratching the back of his neck. “Well, I might have lied.”

“I knew you were, you idiot,” you swat playfully at his arm. You turn to head into the kitchen in search of another vase. “I got off the phone and paced around like what did he possibly leave here? I figured maybe your wallet or something, but I definitely would’ve found it earlier. You should’ve seen the living room this morning — I had the couch on its side and the coffee table in the middle of the hallway—”

You’re in the middle of rambling, digging around under the sink for a vase, when Aaron pulls you up by your hand, spinning you to face him.

“—it was a disaster trying to vacuum. Remind me never to do that unless you’re over here to lift all of it. I think I nearly—”

He’s smiling at you, and you don’t have a single moment to spare to register that he’s leaning in before his lips are on yours. 

You sigh into the kiss, pleasantly surprised to be interrupted in this way, and glad your hands are free so you can hold onto him. Maybe this is why it’s good he hadn’t kissed you yet — one second of it and you’re ready to collapse under the sweet weight of it all. His arms circle your waist to lift you up, and your arms circle his neck, keeping him close. As close as you’ve really wanted him.

When you finally break for air, it’s only to press your foreheads against one another’s, not wanting to move too far.

“Well,” you laugh.

“Technically,” he says, pausing to peck your nose, “that’s what I forgot last night.”

You roll your eyes. “You are so stupid.”

“Mm, just because it makes you smile,” he says, kissing your lips again, and again. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Ideally,” you pause, letting him kiss you again, “ordering dinner in and making out with my boyfriend until the sun rises. You?”

“You know, I was thinking about taking someone special out to dinner,” he pauses, pulling you closer again, “and then kissing her until she tells me to stop.”

“That could be forever, for all you know.”

“That’s fine with me.”

You grin and he kisses you again, pausing to say, “Sorry, I can’t help myself—”

“Trust me,” you move even closer, your eyelashes practically touching his cheeks when you blink, “you don’t need to apologize.”

He responds by kissing you some more, and more, until he’s lifting you into his arms and placing you on the kitchen counter. 

“Aaron!” you squeal, nearly crushing the bouquet. “Let me move the flowers at least!”

“I’ll buy you another,” he says, just a whisper away from kissing you again. 

“You know—” You have to pause in between words as he presses his lips to yours. “—I still have—cleaning—Aaron,” you giggle. “I need to put my apartment back together.”

“Do you?” he asks, relenting only slightly, his fingertips pressing into your lower back, keeping you against him. “Do you need help?”

“I do actually,” you chuckle, running your fingers through his hair. “The couch isn’t back where it was.”

He smirked. “I noticed.”

You tug on his hair slightly to tease him for that jab, only it lights a new spark behind his eyes. Your cheeks grow even warmer. “No, seriously,” you say. “It’ll stress me out if it’s not back in its spot, but then…”

He nods, kissing your lips. “Then we’ll get ready for dinner.”

“And then come back here for a movie?”

“We’ll see how much of the movie we actually pay attention to,” he smirks, eyes traveling all over your face. 

The urge to let him ravish you right now against the kitchen counter is so strong it nearly makes you lightheaded. But soon Aaron is helping you down, pressing another kiss to your forehead. 

“Did you get to vacuum under the couch all the way?”

“…kind of.”

“Come on,” he chuckles, pulling on your hand, leading you back into the living room. “Call me next time?”

“If I get kissed like that during spring cleaning then I’m doing it every day,” you reply, mostly joking. Kind of. “Fuck I forgot the vase for the flowers—”

Aaron kisses you to interrupt you once again. “One thing at a time,” he says.

The kissing doesn’t stop, and you never do get to vacuum under the couch. It can wait.

[scoonsalicious]

Like A Fairy Tale

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Dating Bucky Barnes had been like living a fairy tale, but as he distances himself from you and your relationship, you come to the realization that maybe fairy tales aren't meant to come true.

Warnings: Language to make Steve blush, mentions of alcohol use, implied sex, angst with a happy ending.

Word Count: 3.4k This is my very first posted fic, and I am very nervous but I hope you like it! If I've missed any warnings, please tell me so I can add them. Much love and thanks to my bestie @jmeelee for indulging my obsession and dropping everything to read this when I sent it to her <3 Please pardon any spelling/grammar errors.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3 I write for 18+, so minors DNI. _____________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, being Bucky Barnes’ girl had felt like living in a fairy tale. He was everything your younger self had ever dared to dream of in a Prince Charming– attentive, affectionate, kind, and oh, how he made you laugh! You were the envy of all of your friends, the very definition of #couplegoals, and you thanked your lucky stars every night that the two of you had found one another, despite all the odds.

But fairy tales aren’t real. 

You weren’t sure exactly when it started, but somewhere in the third year of your relationship, after you’d moved into a handsome brownstone in Brooklyn together, after you’d adopted a fluffy white kitten, Bucky started pulling away from you. The steps that took him from you were small at first– he was taking on more and more missions, opting to stay gone for longer periods of time. Days would go by, and they’d turn into weeks, then a month or two at a time would go by where you wouldn’t see him. 

At first, it hadn’t been terrible– Bucky had always made sure to contact you each and every day. A video call whenever he could, a phone call or text when he couldn’t, but slowly, so slowly you barely noticed, the calls stopped coming all together. Sure, he’d answer when you called him… when he could, which wasn’t always possible on a mission, and you hated acting needy and taking him away from his work, so eventually, you stopped reaching out, too. 

When he was home, you were like ships passing in the night. You always offered to take time off of work so you could spend some time with him before he was set to head out again, but he never wanted you to jeopardize your career on his account. Your reunions would always be passionate, but short-lived, a few hot and heavy nights before he took off once more to save the world. 

You tried not to let it bother you. You really, really did. His job was so important. People’s lives relied on him. Where did you get off getting upset over that? So, you kept it to yourself. Until you couldn’t. Not any more.

“Y/N,” your best friend, Lainy, cornered you at her annual New Year’s Eve party, “where’s Barnes? He’s been leaving you to go solo for months now. I don’t think I’ve seen you with him since Mark’s St. Patrick’s Day Party.”

Ouch. “He’s working, Lainy,” you told her, not wanting to admit that March had been the last time the two of you had gone out together, let alone spent more than three days in a row in each other’s company. 

“Yeah, he was ‘working’ over the Memorial Day trip, and the 4th of July BBQ, and Jack and Alice’s wedding, and your aunt’s funeral.” You cringed internally as she applied air quotes to ‘working.’ “And he was ‘working’ on your birthday, and Christmas. Babe, he’s been leaving you alone for almost an entire year. What’s going on? Are you sure there isn’t someone else?”

The worst part was, you knew there wasn’t, or at least, no one individual. When he’d first started distancing himself, of course another woman was the first thing that came to your mind, and you weren’t proud of yourself, but you’d gone through his phone to search for evidence of an affair… multiple times, and repeatedly came up with nothing. And bless Bucky’s heart, but he didn’t have the technological know-how to hide an infidelity from you. Granted, that didn’t negate the possibility that he was randomly hooking up with people while he was away. You’d have to be stupid to not consider the possibility.

You could have asked Steve. You didn’t think Captain America had it in him to lie to you about something like that, but you didn’t want him reporting on your suspicions back to Bucky, nor did you think you could stand to see the look of pity in his eye if he had to tell you that yes, Bucky was cheating on you while you anxiously awaited his return every night. So, you kept the suspicions to yourself. 

Your conversation with Lainy had left you deflated. Here it was New Year’s Eve, and you were alone, the man you loved god knew where– just not with you. How many more holidays and milestones and everyday nights were you going to spend by yourself, waiting for a man who never seemed to want to be home with you anymore? This wasn’t the kind of life you wanted, the kind of life you deserved. 

You made your way to the kitchen to refill your glass of wine. You’d probably already had too many, but you needed to drown the despair that was slowly filling you up. As you poured an exceptionally generous glass, a man entered the kitchen. You recognized him– Harris, a cousin of Lainy’s who had flirted with you relentlessly for years before you had started seeing Bucky. 

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up upon seeing you, “it’s been awhile.” He enveloped you in a friendly hug. “How’ve you been?”

You smiled and exchanged pleasantries, catching up on the overall brushstrokes of your life. 

“I’m sorry about your breakup,” he offered gently, after you’d exhausted the usual small talk.

“My breakup?” you asked, brow piqued.

“Last few events I’ve seen you at, you’ve been alone. I assumed you and Barnes…” he left the thought floating, the implication hanging in the air: Barnes has left you alone, I assumed you broke up.

You huffed out a laugh. God. Was your relationship actually over and you were the only one dumb enough to not see it? 

“If you aren’t seeing anyone,” Harris continued, “I would really love to take you out. You’ve gotta know I’ve been into you for ages, and I figure if I don’t shoot my shot now, who knows when I’ll have another chance.”

You cocked your head and looked at him, taking in his earnest demeanor. Here was a man who genuinely wanted to spend time with you. Why were you waiting on someone who no longer wanted to be around?

“Um, I might have to get back to you on that, Harris,” you told him before excusing yourself. You needed air. 

You found yourself on Lainy’s balcony, the air deceptively mild for the end of December in Manhattan. Alone with your thoughts, you pulled out your phone and dialed Bucky’s number. It went straight to voicemail.

“Someone asked me out on a date tonight,” you said into the recording, your voice choked with tears you didn’t want to shed. “And I think I might say yes, because, honestly Buck, what are we even doing anymore? You’re never here, and I’m always alone. I tried. I tried so fucking hard to not let it get to me, because your work’s important. I know that. I do, and I’m not begrudging you for your job. But… but I can’t keep on like this. I can’t even remember the last time we spent more than three days together. Isn’t that crazy? Three days. Everyone thinks you’re cheating on me. Did you know that? You’re away so much that everyone I know is convinced you’re fucking someone else. Maybe you are, or maybe you already left me, but I’ve been too stupid to notice; if that’s the case, you could have just told me.” 

You kept your composure as you left the message. You weren’t angry at him; you never could be. You were just tired. So tired, and so lonely. 

“All I know is that it’s another night where I’m all by myself, wishing you were here, wanting to talk to you, to feel you, and you’re just… not. You’re off doing something, or someone, more important than me, and I used to be okay with that, but I can’t be anymore. I deserve more than waiting on you, Buck. I deserve to be someone’s priority. I really wish I could have been yours, the way you were mine. 

“So, let’s just call it, okay? Your heart’s obviously not in it anymore, and mine is too tired of being hurt and alone. We’ll have to figure out what to do about the house. I’m keeping Alpine, though. You haven’t been here for her, either, and it wouldn’t be fair of you to take her if you’re never going to be around.”

Inside, you could hear the rest of the party as they counted down to midnight. When they reached zero, the night erupted in fireworks, and you could hear cheers and cars honking their horns throughout the city below you.

“Huh,” you said into your phone, “it’s midnight. Happy New Year, Buck. I hope it ends up being a good one for you, and I’m sorry for whatever I did that made you decide you didn’t want to spend this last one with me.”

You hung up the phone and the tears finally fell as you slid down the balcony railing until you were crouched on the floor. You weren’t sure how long you sat there crying, but eventually Lainy found you, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders and ushering you into her spare room. She helped you change out of your cocktail dress and into a spare pair of pajamas, and helped you wash your face before tucking you into bed. She left you with a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead, promising that tomorrow would be better, that the next best chapter of your life was about to begin, but as you drifted into a fitful sleep, you couldn’t find the will to believe her.

You woke the next morning with a throbbing headache, the alcohol and the tears doing nothing but dehydrating you into agony. You grabbed your phone to check the time, but the battery had died in the night. From the slant of the sun coming in from the guest room window, it looked to be late morning or early afternoon. 

You changed back into your dress, thanking Lainy for her help and making a small joke about doing the walk of shame in your clothes from the night before. You avoided her questions about what had happened, promising to go over it at length at the weekend after you’d had some time to process. You weren’t in the best headspace to get into at the moment.

Fortunately, your best friend knew you well enough not to pry, and you said your goodbyes, plans for brunch on Sunday having been made. You weren’t eager to get back home, to be surrounded by reminders of Bucky, when all you wanted was the man, himself. But he was your ex-boyfriend now, you supposed. You were going to have to come to terms with that sooner than later. Besides, Alpine needed to be fed, and you weren’t going to abandon her.

Your keys clicked in the lock as you opened your front door. “Al, baby,” you called, kicking off your heels and closing the door behind you, “Mommy’s home. You hungry, sweetie?”

You began making your way back toward the kitchen when a loud crash from upstairs got your attention. You rolled your eyes; what had the cat knocked over now? 

But then there was the roar of a body barreling down the upstairs hall and toward the stairs, leaving you frozen where you stood. You cast a glance to where you’d left your phone in your purse by the door. Too far away to reach in time to call for help as the intruder came pounding down the stairs. 

A massive figure rounded the corner, nearly knocking you over.

“Bucky?” You blinked, sure your eyes were playing tricks on you, but no– there he stood, and he looked like shit. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and his eyes were swollen and red-rimmed. He’d obviously been wearing the same clothing for at least a day, if not more.

“Y/N,” he breathed, throwing his arms around you and wrapping you in an almost bone-crushing embrace. “Sweetheart, I was so worried.”

“What are you doing here, Buck?” you asked him, pulling away from him. God, you wanted to let him hold you, but you just couldn’t. Not anymore.

Bucky cupped your face in his hands, blue eyes desperately searching yours. “I got your message. Doll, it fucking broke my heart. I came straight home, but you weren’t here, and I was terrified that you were gone; that you’d left me for good.”

You scoffed. “I’m not the one who leaves, Bucky.”

He flinched at your words. “I know, Baby. I know, and ’m so sorry. I had no idea. I shoulda known what leavin’ you so much was doin’ to you, ‘cause it was doin’ it to me, too. When I heard you say that people– that you– thought I was cheating on you, that I had neglected you so much you thought I found someone else, that I could ever love anyone else, ever want anyone else– I’ve never hated myself more, doll. I can’t stand that you even had those thoughts in your head for one second, because it’s always been you. There’s never been anyone else. You’re it.”

“Then why have you been gone?” you asked him in a whisper. “If there’s no one else, and I’m it, why don’t you ever want to be with me? Why do you keep leaving?” 

Bucky ran both his hands along his face. “God, it feels so stupid now,” he said with a sigh. “But I was trying to save–”

“Trying to save the world, yeah, I know,” you interrupted him, annoyed. “Trust me, I’m well aware that I can’t compete with that. But I needed to know you thought we were worth saving, too, and you never did.”

Bucky started laughing then, and you scoffed. “Wow, you don’t have to rub it in, Bucky.”

“No, no– Sweetheart, no!” he shook his head. “That’s not it, at all. Hold on.” He went to the foyer and grabbed his go-bag; you had missed it when you walked in. Coming back to the kitchen, he put it on the table, opening it up and extracting a folded piece of paper and handing it to you.

It was a real estate listing for a farmhouse Upstate, with acreage on the Hudson. You and Bucky had talked about what kind of house you would buy if the situation had ever presented itself, and it was almost as if you’d dreamed it up.

You looked from the paper back to Bucky. “I don’t understand,” you told him.

“It needs pretty extensive renovations,” he told you. “I wanted to take on enough overtime to have the money for them and make a good dent on the mortgage, but it needed more work than I originally thought. And, I have to come clean– I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you about where I’ve been spending all my time.” He looked up at you through his lashes, head bent down in shame.

“But… but, you said there wasn’t anyone else,” you stammered, heart ready to beat out of your chest. 

“Oh god! No, and I mean that! There isn’t, I swear! God, I’ve fucked this up so bad!” Bucky tugged at his hair in frustration. “I’ve been going on extra missions, but sometimes, Sam, Steve, and I go Upstate to do some work on the house, to cut down the costs so I could still make my timeline.”

“You already bought it?” you asked, your voice flat. You were in shock. “You want to move out? Away from me?”

Bucky moaned in distress and drew you to him again. “No! God, I’m doing this all wrong. I want us to move there, together. To make it the perfect house. The perfect home for me, my wife and our stupid fur baby.”

You stilled at his words. “I’m sorry, your what?”

Bucky smiled at you sheepishly as he reached back into his go-bag. “I’ll have you know that I had an entire plan. Was gonna have the house ready by Valentine’s Day. Take you up there as a surprise, ask you properly, but I fucked that up, so…” He brought his hand back out, holding a small burgundy velvet box. He opened it to reveal a vintage engagement ring, a sapphire instead of a diamond. Your favorite stone.

Bucky got down on one knee. “Y/N,” he began as his voice choked up a bit with emotion, “I know I fucked up for the last eight months. I would completely understand if you can’t forgive me, but I need you to know that I love you. I have only ever loved you, and if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life making up for the fact that, even for a moment, I let you think that you weren’t the most important thing in my life, my number one priority. Will you marry me?”

“Buck…” you began, not sure how to phrase what you were about to say. “What about your job? I can’t keep coming in second to the rest of the world, and I get that it’s selfish of me, but–”

“I quit,” he said simply.

“What?” Your eyes were wide with shock at his statement. 

“The second I heard your voicemail, where you said you wanted to call it because I was never there, I told Steve I was done, that I needed to start putting you first. It wasn’t even a question. I’m officially retired.”

Your mouth hung open. You had hoped he would cut down on his missions, but for him to have quit completely… You gently tugged him to his feet, taking the ring box and running a finger across it.

“It’s lovely,” you told him softly. “Absolutely perfect; exactly what I would have picked for myself.” Bucky beamed at you, pleased. “But I can’t accept it.” His face fell as you gently placed the ring back in his hands. 

“Oh,” he whispered, eyes growing glassy. “I… um, I understand. I fucked up, hurt you. I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”

“I still want to be with you, you idiot,” you admonished him. “But you did hurt me, and we’ve been apart for a long time. We need time to find our way back to each other again, okay? Ask me again on Valentine’s Day, just like you originally planned. Don’t do it now just because you fucked up.” You leaned up on your tip toes and kissed him. “And if it helps make you feel better, I’m probably going to say ‘yes,’ anyway.”

Bucky grinned at you. “Really?” he asked. When you nodded, he picked you up and spun you in  a circle before pressing his lips to yours as if he hadn’t touched you in months. “I promise you, Sweetheart, I’ll do anything I can to make this up to you, I swear it.”

“Anything?” you asked with a smile. “I think I know where you can start.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked you. “And where’s that?”

“Take me to bed, Bucky Barnes,” you said, kissing him again.

Without a word, Bucky swung you over his shoulder and ran with you up the stairs, your squeals and giggles echoing behind him.

Much, much later, when you lay sated together tangled in limbs and sheets with Alpine snuggled next to your heads, Bucky played with your fingers as you rested your head on his bare chest.

“So, Doll,” he said, kissing the pads of each of your fingers, “you gonna tell me who had the nerve to ask my girl out on a date?” 

You laughed. “Lainy’s cousin, Harris. I suppose I’ll have to text him now and tell him I’m not interested.”

“Hell no, you’re not interested,” Bucky chuffed. “Gonna have to remind that punk you’ve already got a boyfriend. The position has been filled.”

“That’s the thing, though,” you said, planting a kiss on his nose. “I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, do I?”

Bucky’s face fell. “But I thought you said–”

“I’ve got myself a fiance.”

Bucky tightened his grip around you, drawing you even closer to his warmth. “Yeah, okay. I gotta admit I like the sound of that a lot better.”

Your entire relationship with Bucky Barnes might not have played out like a fairy tale, but in that moment, you were more sure than ever that you two would get your happily ever after.

[subwaysurf45]

She’s Not Mad

Summary: Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways. 

Words: 9k (if you’ve been wondering where I’ve been...)

Warnings: Bucky has mommy issues, mentions of oral sex, nudity, angst, fluff, college!bucky, slow burn

A/N: thanks for the patience! 

Masterlist

A Couple of Weeks Ago…

“So, you’re not a thing?” Bucky asked as he shoved his laptop and notebook back into his bag, grabbing the handle of his water bottle and choosing to carry it with him for the walk. 

The two boys were higher up in the rows of the lecture hall as they peered over the two girls talking to the professor. Steve had his eyes drilled into Natasha, the girl standing off to the side as her friend went over a question she had. 

“She told me she is still figuring out her feelings since her last serious relationship,” Steve sighed as he packed up as well, “and I told her I’d wait- apparently this guy’s parents had given their family engagement ring and everything.” 

Bucky pulled the corner of his lips out tight as they began to walk down the stairs, “who’s the other girl?” 

“The one that was just asking the question is Y/N,” Steve watched as both girls left the room, “good friends, met last year, live together now.” 

“She’s cute,” Bucky said purely, no smirk or innuendo.

********

You sat over your laptop in the library with both hands acting as a brim to cover your eyes from the people around you. Tears rolled down your face as you studied the practice question, you felt pathetic and you tried to sniffle as quietly as possible. If anyone saw you silently bawling you’d drop out, it was stupid enough already when the librarian walked over and dropped a tissue box off without saying a word. 

“What do you mean?” you whispered to the page for the hundredth time, hoping for some answer. 

You had done the homework, you went to the study groups, you even extended your prof's office hours because you wanted to make sure you were doing everything right. Yet here you were, sitting alone on a Friday night because you still can’t do the practice assignment. Quitting felt like the only option, it wasn’t like everything was going to click; it was too late. 

This was just going to become the thing that you could never do, simple as that. Sometimes there are subjects that no matter how hard you try, you don’t have the flair. It was a tough pill to swallow but you’d never be able to do any work if you’d continue to hold yourself to a high standard, it was a win to get the little things right, not the entire question. 

The idea of failing was new to you. The jump from high school to college was still something you never adapted to, you always expected nineties on everything and not the mindset that C’s get degrees. 

Trying to do the question was like beating a dead horse, you needed a break. You ran your hands over your face and leaned back in your chair, hearing pops from your back as you did so, until you were leaning back and looking up at the ceiling. When you looked straight you saw someone already staring at you. 

He had longer brown hair that hit his jawline, blue eyes that jumped out at you, and a very concerned look on his face. He was familiar but you didn’t know what it was from. 

“Are you Natasha’s friend?” The guy came up to your empty table. 

“Yeah?” You wiped away your tears, extremely confused as he pulled out the chair right beside you to sit at the eight sided table. 

“I’m good friends with Steve, I think the two of them have something going on- not important, but I kind of know you and I'd rather not leave someone I kinda know alone crying, so…” he rubbed the back of his neck, “are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” you rolled your eyes and faced your computer again, “the absolute last thing I need is something watching me cry, alright?” your bottom lip wobbled as you kept your eyes away from his at all times. 

He was still staring at you, “come on,” he sighed and moved his hand to comfort you but thought otherwise, “I’m not going to laugh at you or run and tell everyone I know I saw a girl crying in the library- y’know what they’d say?” You could see him tilt his head, “they’d say what’s the big deal, haven’t we all?” 

You scoffed, “no they wouldn’t.” 

“You’re calling me a liar?” 

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Bucky,” he stuck out his hand, “Bucky Barnes.” You shook his hand, “and since I am a Barnes and was raised by my ma I simply can not let this continue, it’s my obligation to either cheer you up or take you home.” 

You scoffed again and tried your best to hide your smile, “and I’m Y/N, and in my family we stress about everything and never give up so I can’t leave until I get this question, so…”

Bucky’s tongue poked the inside of his cheek as he flipped the laptop to face him a little better, “this is the class all four of us have together, alright,” he read over the question and immediately furrowed his brows before looking at you again, trying your best to hold it together. He knew the answer but couldn’t bear to see your reaction, it was painfully obvious you were beating yourself stupid over these questions. 

“Can you take a deep breath for me?” he asked like he was talking to a child. 

“I barely know you, dude,” you crossed your arms and ripped your laptop back to face you, “and I’ll have you know I don’t need a man to come in here and explain everything to me, alright, I’m going to figure this out on my own and I don’t need you, okay? So just head home, tell Steve I say hi.” 

Bucky took a deep breath himself, “that question isn’t marked on the homework, the reason you can’t get the answer is because the way to get it has most likely not been taught yet,” he paused and saw your face crumble, “and I didn’t want to freak you out because you look like you’ve been here a while and you seem to be beating yourself up and I just couldn’t-”

“Stop,” you whispered and covered your face with your hands, “just stop talking.” 

And he did. 

Trying your best to calm your breaths, it didn’t work. So fucking stupid, unbelievable, there’s no way you just spent close to an hour staring at a problem you didn’t even have to do in the first place. 

“Can you walk me home?” you squeeked. 

“Of course,” Bucky stood up right away and started helping you pack your bag, “I have some water, do you want it?” He held up his water bottle. You nodded and began drinking as you both made your way outside and towards your off-campus house. 

“Did you need to study?” you asked as you screwed on the cap. 

Bucky laughed and looked up at the night sky, “I was going for a walk because I heard there was a blood moon tonight, and there is, look,” he point up and saw the red mood looming above both of you, “and I just happened to walk past the library, I looked in the window and recognised your laptop as well as your hair, funny enough,” he laughed as he looked forward again. 

“So you just came in to see me?” you needed to make sure you were hearing this right, it’s not like it happens often. 

“I was going to introduce myself to you actually,” Bucky shrugged and looked over at you, “I know Steve and Nat are trying to figure things out and I thought friends of two people who might date should know one another. Then I saw you crying so I changed my game plan.”

You just nodded, slightly brushing into Bucky’s arm as you walked. It was hard to stay straight with the exhaustion taking over, every now and then you’d brush your knuckles past Bucky’s. He was a cute guy, and something about him being oh so caution around you made you feel important. 

“This is me,” you said later as you walked up the steps, “thanks Bucky, I hope we can be friends.” 

Bucky smiled and stood at the bottom of the steps, “if you ever get in your head again like that and need someone to pull you away, let me know- even in the middle of the night, alright?”

“Alright,” you laughed with your hand on the door handle. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. I look after the people close to me, I look after friends of friends like siblings,” there was no joking in his tone, it seemed other people doubted him on this promise. “I’ll give you my number,” he hand reached out for your phone. 

“I’ll be fine, you seemed to have good luck running into me,” you giggle and open the door to your house. Before it fully closed you felt resistance, looking over your shoulder you saw Bucky holding open your door. 

He was smiling, “then give me your number for another reason.” 

“Oh?” you turned and placed a hand on your chest, “you’re rather forward. 

“Well being cryptic didn’t work, did it?” He laughed and held out his hand again, “come on, I might need a study buddy one day- or even better, a lunch buddy.” you laughed as he tried to duck to meet your eyeline, “you don’t want to be my lunch buddy?”

“I’ll be your lunch buddy,” you giggled and handed him your phone, he wasted no time adding it in. “Goodnight,” you whispered and made it into your house, leaning back and resting against the door. You thought for a moment before breaking into a massive smile, replaying how he tried to keep eye contact with you. Or how he’d been so proud of how his mother raised him- “son of a bitch,” you whispered. 

He walked you back home and cheered you up. 

Just like he said he would. 

A Few Days Later…

Your phone must be hacked or something because your weather app said it would be completely clear today and sunny in the afternoon. As you sat in the cafe you thought it would clear up but it was only getting worse. 

All you needed to do was brave the rain and make your way home, but waiting for the perfect time when everything would let up for a moment was pointless. 

Walking as fast as you can with your head down, you saw your grey sweatpants become a darker shade instantly. It was a straight downpour with absolutely no sign of letting up, you swore you heard thunder when you waited at the crosswalk. Due to your phone lying to you, you had not brought a hooded article of clothing or umbrella so you just had to deal with everything going wrong. 

There definitely was thunder and the lightning was right above you, it seemed like you were the last person on Earth because everyone else was smart enough to stay inside right now; but not you. Down your little street you began to run, trying to get away from the lightning that was chasing you. 

If you could guess you’d say most people who had been struck by lightning most likely thought they were too far away, in denial as the sky opened up from above. It was hard to admit you were actually a little scared at that moment, rain getting in your eyes as you sprinted down to your house that was now in view. 

With your key at the ready you fell inside, slamming the door behind you. 

Natasha rounded the corner, “you idiot, I was trying to call you!” She screamed and saw your state, “Steve and Bucky are over-they drove over they could have picked you up,” Natasha got in your face to peel off the sweater, taking it off right over your head and leaving you in your bralette and those drenched sweatpants. 

“You took off my shirt when there’s boys here?” you whispered as you began to shake, covering your chest with crossed arms. 

“We guessed you were walking back so we put towels in the dryer,” as if on cue Bucky rounded the same corner with your fluffy towel ready, “thank you Bucky,” Natasha wrapped it around your shoulders. 

“Hi, Bucky,” you squeeked, “glad we keep meeting like this.”

Natasha had walked upstairs, most likely getting different pants. Bucky got down on one knee and slipped off your shoes, “like what?” he asked as he looked up, he reminded you of a little puppy somehow. He was as big as a great dane but there was an underlying softness that made you want to hug him or just let him wrap his arm around you. 

You huffed as you pulled the towel tighter, “when I’ve just done something embarrassing and you’re there to save the day.”

Bucky stood up with his arms crossed, “only you would think crying or getting caught in the rain is embarrassing,” he shook his head and reached out to rub your shoulder that was covered by the towel, “I like helping and I like making sure people I know are okay, you know this.”

“I do,” you whispered and walked further in your house. Before you could get anywhere near comfortable Natasha whisked you away to change your soggy pants as well as throw on a sweater, they had also been thrown in the drier, everything was very toasty and warm.

Steve was sitting on the couch, staring intensely at the football game going on. Natasha guided you back in and towards the couch. There was enough room for four of you but you knew thighs would be pressed up against one another, you were okay with that if Bucky was sitting beside you. Though you don’t see him often it was nice when you did even though you made it seem like it was embarrassing. Something about having someone who loves taking care of people take care of you so well caused you to crave it a little more. 

Bucky came around the couch with a mug, “hot chocolate for you,” he whispered and took the spot beside you, next to the arm rest. You thanked him and let your hand slightly burn on the mug when you held it, liking how the warmth began to spread up your arms. Natasha found her spot on the other side of you while Steve stayed on the edge, leaning forward and never looking away from the game. 

“This is really good,” you sipped it and whispered to Bucky, he just smiled and leaned into your side for a moment. 

“What were you working on?” he asked after a moment. 

“I was at the cafe for a little treat but before I was doing my elective course,” you spoke softly. It seemed like everything happened for a reason because you only got food at the cafe which left room for this hot chocolate now. 

“And that is?” Bucky giggled as he leaned forward again. 

“Art history,” suddenly, you were coy. Most people thought your elective was a bird course but to you it was actually interesting, it wasn’t often you were met with a positive response. 

His eyes got wide, “that’s sick!” Bucky readjusted himself off the couch, “I would have never even thought of that course, wow, that’s really cool. So, like, what do you-”

“Bucky, I love you, brother, I really do but-” Steve sighed, “can you please be quiet, this game is very important.” 

“I didn’t think the Big Game was on today?” you asked as you took another sip. 

“It’s not that,” Steve places his beer down, “it’s the State Cup Finals, it’s college football.” 

Natasha smiled and looked over, “his team’s the underdog and are actually on the road to winning the entire thing!” She giggled and linked an arm with Steve who was happy to cuddle up with her, “it’s actually very exciting once you learn the ins and outs of it.”

You just nodded and faced forward again, seeing Bucky out of the corner of your eyes rubbing his thumb on the neck of his beer bottle, staring off into space. The moment you leaned your head on his shoulder he looked over at you, your heart broke when you saw a sad smile. He was just trying to talk to you, he got excited for you and here he was being scolded. 

“Do you want to come look at some of my notes, or are you into this game?” you whispered and saw his eyes light up, both of you quickly stood and headed up stairs with your bag slung over your shoulder. 

The moment you walked into your room you felt everything slow down, Bucky slowly walked in and looked around. He was smiling to himself as he l took in your photos on the walls or posters, even your to do list seemingly growing on the white board you have mounted to one wall. 

You sat on the corner of your bed as he flipped through your notes, “so you’re, like, breaking down these paintings, it's not just the history of when they were painted?”

“Oh yeah,” you fiddled with the hem of your dry sweater, “most of these artist go insane and we look for that in the work or even just what was happening during the time with stuff that you’d learn in a normal history class but we look at if and when it get put into art,” this was your little thing you could talk about for ages, “very cool stuff.” 

Bucky nodded and flipped the pages, “your notes are amazing,” he whispered, “you’re a pretty good student, huh?” he looked over his shoulder and saw you sitting there, just staring at him as he made his way around your room. “What?” he giggled and made his way over to you, holding his hand out to get you to stand up. 

“Nothing,” you tucked your chin to your chest, getting coy at the attention. “You’re just…y’know, sweet.” 

Bucky just smiled and rubbed your arm, giggling as you both stared at one another for a moment. “Do you want to go back down?” 

“Sure,” you nodded and leaned forward, smiling as you both made your way back downstairs. 

The rain still worked its way down your windows as the beers and wine kept flowing. The game had ended a while ago but Steve and Bucky didn’t see a reason to leave, it was a good moment that no one wanted to end. You had finished your hot chocolate and moved onto wine, sipping it slowly as everyone talked. It was nice to be brought into this group even though it stemmed from Nat and Steve, there was good chemistry between the four of you. 

Talking to everyone was effortless, you didn’t need to act like someone else to fit in. no one was yelling over someone else to get their point across, there weren't any passive aggressive tones in anyone's jokes, it was carefree. It was relaxing to have people this easy to talk to. 

The only thing that wasn’t relaxing was the amount of times you caught Bucky staring at you. Everyone had migrated to the floor with their backs against different furniture so you could break out the board games, Bucky was sitting adjacent to you on your right and Steve adjacent on your left, Nat right in front. Every single move whether it be placing a card down or moving your little object around the board Bucky would find a reason to look at you. 

“Good one,” he’d pat your shoulder. 

“Let me move your piece for you,” he’d say before you could reach across the table. 

“Sorry…” he’d smile before taking your little object and moving it back four spots. 

He was very attentive, always watching and scanning. But the more you noticed it the more you figured out he was doing it to everyone, including Steve. Something happened whenever Bucky would either move Steve’s piece for him or go get another beer so he wouldn’t have to stand up, Steve would give this look. It seemed as though he was silently telling Bucky he knew something or he was pointing something out that had been a topic of conversation before. Bucky would try to laugh it off but Steve was very protective of Bucky, you just didn’t know why. 

The games had slowly come to a close, everyone not drunk but a little more than tipsy. Giggles flowed freely around the table as the conversation resumed again, your eyes were growing heavy as you traced the rim of your glass. 

“I’ll be back,” Bucky muttered as he headed to the washroom. 

The moment the door closed Steve sighed, “this kid.” 

“What?” you were getting protective, why was Steve about to talk shit about his best friend? 

Steve just shook his head, “It’s hard to see how badly Winnie fucked him up.” 

Your heart plummeted. Any tiredness had left your body faster than the little gasp escaped your lips. Who was this Winnie girl and why did he mess Bucky up? The thoughts circled your head, was he in an abusive relationship? Natasha looked like she didn’t know either, pouring more wine into her cup. 

When Bucky came back he sat closer to you and you couldn’t help but reach out and wrapped your arm around his. He must have been a little surprised but you rested your head on his shoulder and continued on like it was nothing. 

You were half asleep when Bucky tried to do something for Steve, maybe get him another beer but whatever it was it left Bucky looking like a sad puppy because Steve said, “Buck, relax, I can get my beers, thank you, but I got it, alright?”

Steve's tone was soft but also commanding, he wasn’t annoyed at all. With your eyes closed you pieced it together that Steve was trying to help Bucky in some way, maybe get him to relax a little more. It was out of love but Bucky was very quiet for the rest of the night. 

********

You and Bucky had started hanging out a lot more on your own. There were a lot of late night drives or study sessions, Bucky always came to the library to walk you home if you stayed late or had turned your brain into mush during your studying. 

What Steve had said stuck with you more than you thought it would, it didn’t impact how you saw Bucky but it made you more aware of his people pleasing tendencies. You wanted to do the same as Steve, tell him it was okay but you weren’t as close. You saw how hurt he was the last time and you just couldn’t do it to him. 

Currently you were both sitting on his bed, the movie was wrapping up. Half of his laptop sat on one thigh and the other half sat on Bucky’s, your arms were linked and there was a steady brushing of your thumb on his forearm. In all honesty, you thought you were lulling him to sleep when you looked up five minutes ago to see him fighting his dropping lids. 

When the movie faded to black both of you sat there for a moment, content with the sitcom that was coming up next. You looked up again to see him with his face scrunched up, his other hand was on his back. 

“What is it?” you asked and leaned over, he was rubbing a specific spot on his lower back with his thumb. 

Bucky held his breath as he leaned forward to move his hand, “I was working out this morning and there weren't any belts left for my deadlifts and I did something to my back.”

“Do you want a massage?” you offered, he’d do the same for you. 

“I’m okay, thanks,” he looked down at your head resting on his bicep. 

“I didn’t know you worked out,” you smiled, “you don’t have the, like, bodybuilder physique.”

Bucky laughed and wiped at his eyes, giggling to himself before answering. “I don’t want that look, but…” you could see the boast on the top of his tongue, he poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek. 

“Tell me!” you sat up, taking the laptop off your lap so you could fully face him now, “are you, like, ripped or something?” you both laughed as he hugged himself so you couldn’t feel or see anything, “you are, shut up!” you placed both hands on his shoulders, his face so red from laughing and embarrassment you just wanted to take a bite out of it. 

“Steve calls it a sleeper build,” Bucky managed to wheeze out, he was trying to play-fight you off of him. 

“What the fuck is that?!” you gasped as your hands reached out but he copied you and intertwined his fingers with yours. 

“It’s when someone has muscle but you can’t really see it in normal clothing,” his face was calming down as well, but that stupid smile was still on his face. “It just kinda happened, just how I am.”

You tried to move his arms around but you couldn’t, his fingers were still tightly woven with yours. You just laughed and fell back into him, cuddling up again. “I had a friend's mom who was an actual masseuse, so…” you shrugged, “I actually know what I’m doing because she’d give me massages and walk me through her process.”

“You just want to take my shirt off, don’t you?” Bucky taunted. 

“I want to make sure you’re not uncomfortable the entire time we hang out and for the rest of the week,” you giggled before snuggling into his arm again and watching the show that had come on randomly. 

It took three days before Bucky came back for that massage. 

You were hanging out again like normal and he was still trying to relieve the ache in his lower back. It was becoming sad to see him so uncomfortable so you kept reminding him of your excellent massage skills. After what you counted as his third groan of pain you just looked at him and soon enough he was asking you to turn around so he could take his shirt off and lie down. 

Choosing your angle to stand with your back to him was a science, you wanted to make sure you had the mirror to look at but you also didn’t want to make it obvious. Part of you hated yourself for wanting to catch and peek at his body but it was infamous now, you just had to look. 

And my god was it worth it. 

It wasn't an obnoxious amount of muscle that made it seem like the strength drained from his brain and into his arms. The sleeper build comment was right, you had no idea. His chest made you feel comfortable and protected, the kind of chest you’d want to fall into when the subway starts up too quick and you’re not holding onto anything. His arms were, and you already knew this, amazing at covering so much surface area for hugs. They were secure and trustworthy, you knew that when you hugged him he had you; it also helped to remember when he’d whisper it in your ear. 

“Okay,” his voice was muffled by pillows at the top of your bed. 

You turned around and were greeted by his back which was also an amazing sight, the kind of body sculptors would use and their go-to subject if no one else was there. “I have some lotion on my hands,” you warned and pressed your palms onto his back and quickly began spreading the lotion around. 

Though this wasn’t a proper table and he was resting on one cheek instead of face down you knew this was the best he’d get for a college kid. You started all over and slowly worked your way to focusing on his lower back. When you felt the knot you knew you found it, the thing was massive. The low groan Bucky let out was close to pornographic as you dug into him. 

Something about seeing him grip the sheets, making his veins pop out, did something to you. At first you only really saw Bucky as another friend or a good member of the friend group you stumbled your way into. But the more you spent one-on-one the more you realized he was your perfect guy. Any guy can be perfect physically but his personality enhanced your view for him, it made you appreciate his looks even more. 

His laugh always brought out the crinkle in his nose and those pretty teeth, the sound of him giggling was music to your ears and also was the perfect accompaniment to his squinted eyes or broad smile. The same with his little fist pumps he does when beating you at a game either around a group of friends of a video game, that stupid celebration he does every time causes him to flex his bicep but that’s secondary to the little circles he makes with his fist.  

You kept working away and looking at his rested face once in a while, seeing his eyes closed and the relieved look on his face. There was something so pure about watching the guy your slowly obsession over fall into simple relaxation all because of you, it was a treat. 

“How’s that?” you whisper, “Bucky?” trying to make sure your pressure wasn’t too hard for him you wanted to check in, but he had fallen asleep. With the opportunity in front of you, you reached out and placed your bent knuckles along his cheek, feeling the stubble tickle your fingers. 

You found him blanket on his bed and covered him up so he wouldn’t get cold with his shirt off, before leaving you placed a kiss on his forehead before heading downstairs for a snack. You also wanted to give him space, let him sleep peacefully. 

Steve was down there when you got there, another roommate of his cooking as you found Bucky’s section of snacks to choose from. 

“Where’s Bucky?” Steve asked as he looked over his shoulder, not for long due to the football playing on the TV. 

“Sleeping upstairs,” you ate the goldfish as you rounded the couch to watch the game. 

He seemed taken aback at your casualness, “what did you guys do…?” he slowly looked over, most likely trying to see if your hair was disheveled or anything was blossoming on your neck. 

“I gave him a massage,” you shrugged and fell back onto the couch, “his lower back has been killing from his workout a while ago.” 

You could see Steve look over his shoulder to see if his roommate was also hearing this, he looked over at you again and squinted. “So- and correct me if I’m wrong here- you gave Bucky a massage and put him to sleep and now you’re down here getting a snack?” 

“You would be correct,” you smiled, “would you like to do a once over of my neck for hickies or maybe rummage through the trash for condoms?” you sassed and plopped a few more goldfish in your mouth, “I was helping him.” 

That statement made Steve look over his shoulder again. The roommate just shrugged with a smile before heading down to his room in the basement, noodles steaming from the cup. You just looked at Steve as he tried to piece together everything, it was actually funny to see him try to understand. 

“Bucky doesn’t accept help from anyone,” Steve turned to face you, “it’s his thing to never want to be in debt with anyone when it comes to favours of any sort.” 

“Well,” you just sighed, “I’ve been picking up on that too but I got to him I guess, he let me do something for him.” That was all you could say because you didn’t have a full background of why Bucky didn’t accept help from anyone you just knew he didn’t; the only clues you had were Winnie and her role in this. 

“That’s good,” Steve quickly added, “I’m far from saying it’s bad, trust me, it’s just he’s been in a funk for a while when it comes to that stuff, it ebbs and flows.” 

“Do you think he’ll ever tell me?” you asked as you watched the game, too embarrassed of the question to look at Steve. It seemed there was this vital piece of information that made Bucky who he was that was dangling right in front of your face, you were falling for him but that thing that made him him was out of reach. When Steve first made the statement he siad that this Winnie girl fucked him up which implied something bad much have happened and that can also mean something isn’t necessarily right. You were never going to fix Bucky but you did want to understand so you could help be a better friend to him and not unconsciously get in the way of his mindset. 

Steve nodded, “he’ll definitely tell you,” he looked over and smiled, “I mean, you’re all he ever talks about, this kid is head over heels for you  it’s just…some guys have hard times coming to terms with their past, he’ll get there though.” 

“I know,” you nodded, “I’ll obviously never force it out but I do want him to be aware I’m here to listen, y’know?” 

“He knows,” Steve laughed and stood up, going to the cupboard and grabbing a little snack for himself as well. 

You took a deep breath before standing up and heading back upstairs, you were guessing Bucky was still fast asleep. When you opened the door you found him still laying on his bed in the exact same position, only now there was little snores coming from him. 

With a pout you crawled back onto the bed and sat next to him, placing your hand on his back and sliding it down to his arm that was bent up so his hands could rest under the pillow. Your thumb gently rubbed his arm for a moment before pulling out your phone and scrolling through it. 

The boredom ate away at you, instead of scrolling through your phone you went to his dresser to find some clothes you could change into so you could crawl under his sheets and sleep over. When you pulled open his top drawer you were met with his underwear and socks as well as a box of condoms tucked to the side, you just giggled to yourself at the painfully college male sight in front of you. 

Something about wearing his boxers made your face heat up, that was a level of intimacy you wanted to reach with him one day but you didn’t know if it was time. Looking over your shoulder after a particularly loud snore you smiled to yourself and picked up a black pair, as you held it up you remember seeing the waistband sticking out of his jeans while he reached above his head to grab something for someone - you weren’t focused on his actions at the time. 

Quickly slipping your pants off and pulling up the boxers you maneuvered to his closet, finding your favourite hoodie he wore very often. This moment of intimacy, moving around Bucky’s room while he wasn’t aware, caused a surge of confidence to shoot through you. Though you had never talked to Bucky about what the relationship between you was, you knew both of you could agree there was no room for girlfriends or boyfriends for either of you, this was the time to build the foundation for something better later. Having this idea of only being the girl in his room you took off your bralette and tucked it back in his top drawer, across from the condoms.

You didn’t choose this bra specifically but you were wearing a slightly lacey bralette, it was far from lingerie but the lace added something to it. Making sure you put it where it wouldn’t be obvious but also not hiding it, you grew giddy at the image of Bucky finding it. 

Before getting in his bed you tugged and tugged the sheets under his body before managing to get the covers fully out from under him. You scooted in and pulled the sheets up to cover both of you, it seemed he really needed the sleep because nothing was waking him up, not even the little hug you gave him before turning off the lights and falling asleep beside him. 

********

You were sitting in class aimlessly scrolling through your phone during your five minute break in your lesson, your art history professor was one of the best teachers you've ever had. She was funny but also well informed, she also had a big heart and didn’t need a eulogy as a form of proof if someone asked for an extension due to a funeral service that day. 

Bucky: What the hell is in my dresser? 

Without knowing the tone or context your heart dropped. You read the text with Bucky’s voice as if he was screaming at you, a hint of embarrassment in his tone. It was in your head, you didn’t know if it was a flirty tone either. 

You: Just my bra, when I stayed over a couple of nights ago I changed into your clothes and just absentmindedly put my bra in your top drawer. I probably was just going through the motions and thought I was at my place. 

Bucky: Can I pick you up from class, when does your lecture end?

Something about him completely disregarding your explanation - lie or not - gave you the worst feeling in the world. Ice poured down your back as you watched your prof make her way back up to the little stage she teaches on, you couldn’t keep the conversation going and just needed to deal with it later. 

You: sure, it ends in an hour. 

Bucky: I’ll be there. 

Part of you didn’t want to leave when your lecture was over, you stayed in the hallway for a moment and thought of every single end of the world situation that could happen in the car. Bucky didn’t seem like a guy who hit women but your anxiety didn’t let you leave out that thought. He also didn’t seem like the guy who’d reveal he’d been dating another girl the entire time but who knows, he could be in a three year long relationship as you stood there. 

With all these terrible situations playing out in your head you decided to face it head on, you’d walk in there and wouldn’t let him talk; just saying your apologies with your eyes closed before he could get a word out. 

You walked down the steps and to the right to find Bucky’s car parked in front, coming up in the blindspot. You took a moment to take a deep breath, opening the door and sitting down as quickly as possible. 

“Do you-”

“Bucky,” you put your hand out but kept your eyes casted down, “I am so unbelievably sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I don’t know if you already have a girlfriend and she found it and it caused a rift in your relationship, or if you like to sleep with other girls and one of them found the bra and got jealous so you lost your credit. I don’t know what made you angry but please, I am so sorry for what I did, I wasn’t thinking and I just put it in there and I-...” you just held your mouth open as you looked at the center console, you had run out of things to say. “Um,” you slowly looked up to see him frozen in shock, mouth still slightly open from when he began to say something, “sorry, you were about to say something?” 

Bucky had to physically rattle his head to get out of the shock he was in, “do you want to get some coffee?” 

Your eyes flicked up and it was your turn to stay frozen, “what?” 

Bucky pulled his brows together, “I was making a joke about the bra thing,” he seemed concerned at your extremely anxious state, “I don’t care what you leave at my place, I really don’t,” normally someone would laugh in awkward situations but Bucky didn’t, it felt like it made everything worse. “Do you want coffee?” 

“What is going on?” you couldn’t believe the situation you had put yourself in, nothing was making sense. 

“Don’t get all mad at me,” now it was time for him to scoff, “you’re the one that thought I was sleeping with multiple women while I’m actively pursuing you, you idiot.” 

“Don’t call me an idiot,” you huffed and faced the front of the car, crossing your arms after putting on your seatbelt. 

Bucky laughed as he reached over and turned your face so you’d look at him, “that’s what you took from that statement?” He giggled, “babe, I just said I was pursuing you, does that just fly over your head?” 

“Wait, what?” you grew more interested, “you want to date me?” 

Bucky nodded, “have I not made it obvious?” You just shrugged and began to feel small, curling yourself further into the seat of his car, “I would like to take you out and I would like to continue to collect little pieces of you at my place while doing the same to yours, does that make sense?” 

“Then what were those condoms for?” 

“The same reason our house keeps tampons in our main bathroom,” Bucky put the car in drive and began working towards to coffee shop, “if you ever need a tampon you go and grab one, if Steve ever needs a condom and he’s out of stock in his room he comes to me,” Bucky looked at you at the stop light. 

“Oh,” was all you could say. 

“But let me get a few things straight,” Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, “I’m not sleeping with other girls, I do not have a secret girlfriend, I am not mad you left your bra in my dresser and I tried to make the text seem flirty, and finally,” he went at the green, “I really like you and I would like you to be my girl whenever we get there.” 

“Okay,” you whispered, “I’d like that too.” 

“Then it’s settled,” it was a short drive to the cafe, “let’s celebrate over coffee, shall we?” 

You looked down at his hand on your thigh, “yeah, we shall.” 

********

Your body felt like it was floating, your legs tingled and it was hard to catch your breath. As you laid on your back with your hands on your bare stomach Bucky worked his way back up from between your legs while leaving kisses on your hip bones as well as your stomach when you lifted your hands. 

“How was that?” Bucky asked breathlessly, licking his lips before kissing you. 

You kept your answer waiting, probably because he knew it already, kissing him slowly as he wanted. He was fully in control right now, setting the pace and tone of this entire afternoon. When he pulled away for a moment you complimented him like always, your hands reached up to his shoulders and tried to push him to lay on his back but he stayed strong. 

“Flip over,” you whispered and ran your hands down his chiseled stomach, working your way up to his shoulders as your fingernails raked up his back. 

“I’m all good,” he shrugged. 

“But you’re painfully hard,” you tried again to get him to move but he just fell beside you on his stomach, not allowing you to touch him where he was in fact, extremely hard. “Come on, you always do this.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled and pulled you down with him. 

“I just want to do something nice for you, you never let me do anything for you or give you any favours,” in your head it seemed like a normal observation, it was true that Bucky didn’t let anyone do anything for him while he actively tried to help everyone in anyway he knew how. 

That seemingly struck a nerve, “alright then,” he sighed and got up from the bed, heading into the bathroom as he left you naked and alone on his bed, the most lonesome feelings in the world. 

“Where are you going?” you sat up, grabbing your shirt from the edge of the bed. 

“Going to go jerk off in the shower,” he said as he closed the door. 

“You can’t be serious,” you quickly stood and made your way to the bathroom that was connected to his room. You opened the door to see him already adjusting the tap before starting the shower. “Bucky, it’s the truth, it’s who you are but it’s the truth and as your girlfriend I want you to feel good, I want to give you pleasure like you do to me.” 

You reached forward and placed your hands on his back, slowly working your way to his shoulders so you could turn him around. There looked like shame had overtaken him as he stood before you, though he was larger in size he shrunk himself down to look small. His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, he didn’t know what to say. 

“If I can’t give you head then can I come in the shower and wash your hair?” you didn’t even put on the shirt you grabbed, it was dropped to the floor. “Come on, honey, it’ll feel so good.” 

Bucky only nodded before stepping into the hot shower with you. You made sure he got most of the stream on him, you stayed in front and made sure his hair was soaked before getting any product. You could see his tenseness at first but the moment your hands made contact with his scalp his eyes rolled back, his shoulders relaxed. In that moment it occurred to you that you had actually never seen his relaxed state before. 

“Doesn’t this feel good?” you whispered, making sure you used your nails to really cleanse his scalp. “Doesn’t letting yourself relax and breathe feel so good, Buck?” 

“Yeah,” it came out quiet and broken. 

Your eyes were focused on his hair the entire time, making sure you lathered up and took your time. You needed to savor this moment for both you and Bucky, you wanted him to be relaxed for a s long as possible as well as taking advantage of doing him a favour; never knowing when your next opportunity would come up. 

Gently tapped his forehead, you got him to lean back. The water immediately took off the top layer of suds but you needed to rub out the deeper layers as well. Your fingers scrubbed until the trail of water rolling down his body was pure water and had no shampoo in it. 

“I’m going to- oh, my gosh Bucky,” you reached out and saw his red eyes, “when did you start crying?” 

“I can’t remember,” he whispered and tilted his head down, the water pushed his hair to cover his eyes. 

You pushed his hair back and pulled him out a step further so the water hit his back, your thumbs quickly wiped away a mixture of water and tears off of his face. He couldn’t stop crying as you tried your best to keep his face clear, “honey, what’s wrong?” 

“I-” he choked on his own words, “I’ve never let my guard down this much,” he admitted before breaking off into harder sobs, you swooped in and pulled him tightly against your chest. 

“I know it’s a new feeling,” you whispered, “but I want you to be able to do this all the time, let your guard down around me,” it was a shot in the dark by saying this but you did it anyways, “I promise I won’t hurt you, I’ll never take advantage of your guard down, love.” 

It must have struck something because his knees buckled, his hands gripped tighter as he desperately kept you close to him. You didn’t know if you were making him feel better or worse but the act of letting go was needed for him, you kept holding him until there was nothing left to cry. 

When he pulled away he stayed close, close enough that you kissed him under the gentle rain of the shower and played with his hair at the base of his scalp. His hands stayed on your back and held you close to him, making sure you were always touching him in some way. You tried to get a good read on him but he kept his head low and gently ran his hands up and down your sides, just feeling you. 

“You’re very safe,” you whispered. 

Bucky looked up at you for a moment before keeping his eyes down for a while, his brows pulled together and it seemed like he was trying to say something but didn’t know how. Both of you were open and vulnerable, naked in the hot shower. Tears threatened to spill over at the picture of Bucky crying in front of you. 

“It was my mom,” Bucky whispered, “the one who broke me-”

“You’re not broken,” you quickly corrected, cupping his face and stroking his cheek with your thumb, “don’t say that.” 

Bucky just shrugged, “I’m the oldest, I have four sisters younger than me - all different dads.” Bucky took a deep breath and pulled you closer, “my mom…Winnie was an interesting woman who never wanted to be pregnant but somehow always ended up pregnant anyways, it also didn’t help none of the guys wanted to stick around.” 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him the easy opportunity to hug you if he needed to. Nodding along, you encouraged him to keep going. 

“When my mom realized I could do the dirty work she would take advantage of that. I basically raised my sisters and somehow she managed to worm into my head,” he let out an angry laugh, “she’d say she loved me if I did things for her and I was a bad boy if I couldn’t or wouldn’t help her, she would say I didn’t love her if I didn’t change my sister’s diapers or bathe them while she sat on the couch.” 

“Bucky,” you were the one to instigate the hug, “that’s awful.” 

“And I’m aware of how I act now, all I’ve ever known is helping other people to make sure they love me,” he laughed again, “and it sounds stupid but I can never break out of the cycle, I always think I’m doing a good job or not being overbearing but then I start to second guess myself, you know?” he pulled away and looked at you, you quickly nodded. “I start to think about what people are saying behind my back and so I keep doing what I’m doing to stay on the safe side, I know it’s fucking annoying but I can’t help it.” 

“It’s not annoying, baby” you leaned past him and turned off the water as it grew cold, “and if you’ll let me I can help with that, I don’t want to fix you or change you, I just want you to be comfortable in this relationship and not think I’m secretly mad at you because you didn’t get me a glass of water.” 

Bucky nodded, stepped out of the shower with you and grabbed two towels. The conversation had naturally ended, Bucky didn’t have anything else to say. It was hard not to think he was overthinking again, the idea that you were causing him to stress out stressed you out. You were being truthful when you said you wanted him to be relaxed in this relationship, the last thing you wanted was underlying tension. 

Back in bed Bucky rolled over and cuddled into your breasts, holding you closely as you watched his head rise with your breath. You had no idea if he was asleep or not, you knew he wouldn’t mind either way if you played with his hair. 

“Thank you,” was all he whispered before falling asleep. 

********

You all sat around the couch to watch another big game. Though you had no idea what was going on you were just as into it as Steve. Half time had just started and you all took a collective breath, the two college teams were close. 

“Want another beer?” you asked as you stood up, looking at Bucky who was sitting on the couch. Steve and Nat had already filled up, you wanted another cooler and Bucky was almost done. 

“Yeah,” he quickly downed his final sip of beer before handing the bottle off to you. 

There was this anticipation in the room, you smiled and took the bottle and walked past Steve who was already looking at Bucky. The room seemed still when Bucky didn’t move, just pulling out his phone to look at something while the commercials played. Before making it into the kitchen you looked over your shoulder and saw the back of Bucky’s head, you bit your lip to suppress the smile that was growing. 

The moment you got back and sat next to him Bucky took your hand and pulled it into his lap. He fidgeted with your finger before looking over at you, “how’d I do?” he whispered. 

You laughed and leaned into his side, “how much did that make your cringe?” 

“I was in pain for a moment,” he answered as fast as possible before giggling with you as you clink your glasses together and take a long swing. With a deep breath he looked back at the game and kept your hand in his. Bucky must have not been paying attention but his phone buzzed, illuminating and accidentally showing his lockscreen. 

It changed from the photo of the two of you to a black background with white writing on it: 

Trust me, she’s not mad at you.

********

Thanks for reading, feel free to reblog and tell me what you think!

Taglist: @jackiehollanderr​ @tylard-blog1​ @readingbooksanddrinkingtea-blog​ @linzc-reader​ @hotleaf-juice​ @honeybunchesofbucky​ @seybox​ @yaszx​ @happyt0exist​ @striving4averagegirl​ @searchf0rtheskyline​ @aya-fay​ @wbyss​ @luvrsbian​ @albertdabuttler​

[reqxxyt]

the minute i fell

pairings: charles l. x f!reader

summary: in which Charles and Carlos make a bet to get with the photographer of Ferrari, a reserved introvert, but finally getting the chance to speak to her, Charles realizes he already lost.

warnings: i had no idea how to end this.. very rushed ending

wc: 2.1k

masterlist requests are open!

[unedited]

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

The duo sat on the paddock floor, laughing along as others passed them in the ferrari garage not taking into consideration of their conversation. 

“I’m telling you, I am amazing with the women” Charles claimed while Carlos gave him a non convinced look, not accepting his claim. A familiar figure caught Carlos’ eye ready to prove Charles wrong. 

“What about y/n?” Carlos said, a bit quieter as the two turned analyzing her movements as she was adjusting the camera settings, ready to pack and leave. Charles’ gaze longed as he was about to reject the proposal before he heard the spaniard next to him say “Or you could always prove yourself wrong” 

Charles competitive spirit flamed as he just nodded, turning his gaze away from the girl towards Carlos just nodding his head making the other just smirk, already loving the idea of how this would turn out.

It was well known in the garage that y/n didn’t like to be bothered, very quiet and reserved to others. Everyone at some point tried to be friendly towards her but her blunt responses would cause them to turn away, thinking she didn’t like them, didn’t like anyone. 

So when Charles got up he automatically crossed off all of his starter questions knowing it would only end the conversation in 2 seconds. On the other end, the girl was exhausted, having dealt with trying to capture the best moments of the weekend with a constant headache and jetlag. But the job overweight the cons everytime, she was only ever quiet because she was too focused on her job, not allowing anyone to interrupt her during her time. Yes, she already knew most saw her as rude, but she didn’t mind that, at least they stopped pretending to be nice the first week. 

“Capture all the good moments?” at first she thought Charles wasn’t speaking to her, still focused on tuning some camera settings until she heard him clear his throat in front of her finally making her look up. He waited for a proper response but all he received was a tight smile and a barely noticeable nod. The girl was about to gather her belongings, thinking the conversation was done but instead he kept talking to her, “Maybe I’ll get an early preview?”

“Yeah, maybe” she said simply, getting her tote bag and ready to walk out, but Charles didn’t seem to give up almost blocking her exit before she scurried next to him and squeezed outside. 

“What are you doing later tonight?” he ran up to her, catching up to her fast pace clearly catching the hint but refusing to give up this early after Carlos doubted him. Y/n simply shrugged mumbling a soft “don’t know” 

“What if-” he was interrupted with y/n turning and catching him off guard as she finally grew annoyed and said “What do you want, Charles? Seriously, do you find it entertaining to talk to someone who doesn’t want a conversation right now?”

Charles stood, stunned at her questions, finally gathering his thoughts after a couple of moments, commenting “This is the most you’ve spoken. Improvement” the corners of his lips twitch upwards as she sighed, growing more irritated that that was the portion he focused on more. Before he could say anything more on her ‘improvement’ she turned saying a simple “Goodnight” leaving Charles to think to himself while his teammate was trying not to laugh a few feet away seeing Charles’ failed attempt with front row seats. 

A couple of days later

Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t hate the plan for today, it consisted of having to do a photoshoot with the two drivers. She was hoping to not have to interact with Charles but the way the past couple of days had gone he would definitely try something. 

She had finally finished adjusting the lighting on the scene, seeing the two drivers walk up to their designated areas and before she  could even wrap around the strap on my neck, she spotted Charles with messed up hair. The photographer looked around, hoping to find their hairdresser but found them nowhere near, with a heavy sigh she walked to Charles and trying to keep the most distance, leaned upwards and adjusted the strands that stuck out not daring to make eye contact or take a smell of his fresh cologne.

Charles tried his best to keep her in that same position, praying her gaze would lower to his own, thinking eye contact could help him with achieving this stupid bet he already began regretting and having doubts of his own, but he refused to accept defeat. Seeing her simply turn around after finishing made him internally frustrated, trying to come up with another idea while she was still here. 

After the first set, Charles subconcecially ran his hands through his hair, not realizing he had messed it up until he heard her steps forward him replacing his hand with her own as she ran through it, trying her best to fix his mess. In that moment, Charles felt his own heart speed up, realizing just how pretty the girl was from up close, with a focused gaze having her nose scrunch before leaning back down. This time, she glanced back at him, making direct eye contact but stepped back forcing herself away from him. 

“Fix your shirt Leclerc” she commented, waiting on him as she walked back to her original position. Charles looked down only seeing it tucked in slightly. His innocent smile grew with curious eyes as he asked 

“Why not fix it for me?” he immediately noticed the way her cheeks got pink, whether that be from the bright sun or his question he doesn’t want the answer to, wanting his own delusions to be the true meaning but she just glared at him, ignoring how the sun somehow made his eyes look perfect at the current angle. 

“That would be considered inappropriate” she said, looking back down, ready to take the next set right after he could fix it but she just looked up at him seeing his innocent smile. She turned to Carlos, asking him to fix it and he did with no obligation, she just smiled to herself afterwards before taking another couple of photos, checking them afterwards ready to take the final set at the next location. 

The two followed the girl to the next location with a safe enough distance where she couldn’t hear their whispered conversation. 

“No luck?” Carlos asked even though already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from him and finally admit to defeat but Charles only refused, saying “it’s only been a couple of days”

Carlos just hummed before the two finally caught back up to the girl, waiting for them by the two cars. She instructed them where to stand, giving them simple instructions thinking it shouldn’t be that difficult completely forgetting she was dealing with an irratating Charles today. He stood a couple of feet away from his position, 

“Can you scoot to the left a little, Charles?” she asked, trying her best to appear polite and surprisingly he did as he was told with no obligation. She took the first picture, making sure there was no odd glare anywhere before finally getting back down to take more shots. Taking the final picture, she concluded the day with a simple ‘perfect’. 

The girl was looking through them all, making some adjustments not appearing to notice the Monacan driver walking up to her, only managing to spook her with a simple greeting, only earning a glare right after. 

"Do you need something else" she asked, putting her camera down to face him and while the gesture may have meant little to the photographer it meant an advancement to Charles, making eye contact was his specialty. 

"Just making sure I look good" he said with his charming smile, she only nodded mumbling a barely audible "You always do" but Charles had heard, not so clear but he could make up the mumble, making his smirk grow just by a millimeter. 

"Is it too late for you to fix my hair" he asked with a hint of mischief in his tone but she only stared blankly, not the slightest amused, ready to walk away from the conversation but he grasped her wrist before she could take a step holding her back, sending a strange sensation to both. 

"Terrble joke" he apoligized, knowing he was giving her a hard time. He sighed, debating the options before finally admitting, "Truth is, me and Carlos had this bet going on for the past couple of days, now thinking about it, it was stupid. I won’t bother you again, just please don’t hate me"

"I already knew" she shrugged not appearing the slightest suuprised meanwhile Charles nearly had his whole jaw agape of the reveal. "I was waiting for when you would tell me"

"You knew? Since when?" he didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or stupid. Definetly both.

"The first day" she said ready turn now before saying "Don’t worry, I could never hate the prettiest driver"

The next day had been quite normal, considering Charles stopped bothering the girl, but he couldn’t stop thinking about her. The girl he couldn’t get, had started off as a bet where he would have her fall for him, turned to him falling for her. 

“Hey, Charles?” Her voice made his heart spike up, turning to see her with a small smile. “Mind helping me with something?” 

He nodded, waiting for her request as she fiddled with her ear, taking out a single earring. 

“I lost my earring earlier, mind helping me look of it?” he noticed her earring, one similar to another he had spotted not too far, a golden stud with diamond specs. He just nodded, observing it in her hand before replying with a simple sure. Without saying much else, he headed to the last place he saw it last with the girl trailing behind him. 

“I think I saw it earlier around here” he informed, starting the search with her. “I’ve never seen you wear jewelry before” he attempted to make a conversation and while the girl hesitated, she decided to reply with interest, “I don’t. Normally I am not allowed to, I only wear them on formal occasions really. But the one time I tried wearing it, i seemed to have lost it”

Charles only chuckled, searching the area with more detail. “It sure looks pretty, gift, I assume?” he wanted the conversation to last a lifetime, hearing her voice made him both comfortable and on suspense. 

“Yeah, my mother gave it to me. The only gift she gave me and I’ve lost it” her voice filled with sorrow and Charles immedietly filled terrible, ready to apoligize for even bringing it up but all she gave him was a reassuring smile, “It’s okay, I just need to find it is all” 

The search continued, lasting an hour before the girl gave a tired sigh, feeling her eyes trickled with water but she refused to cry, at least not in front of someone. She was ready to give up, clinging onto the one that she hasn’t lost yet hoping to anyone that could hear to allow her to find the gift. Meanwhile, Charles refused to give up not needing her frowned expression to be the appearance she gives him everyday because he couldn’t find her precious item. Not too long afterward, he finally spotted it, underneath a rug, he immediately grasped it letting out a soft yell, enough for her to hear him 

“Found it!” immediately, she went to him observing the earring before confirming it and thanking him, excitement struck her as she leaped forward grabbing the sides of his face pushing her lips to his. 

Charles arms fell to his sides, still needing time to react before closing her in his embrace wanting to deepen the kiss, eager for more, still ensuring to keep grasp of the earring. The kiss only lasted a minute before the girl finally brought herself back, bringing her hands to her sides, no longer looking at the earring but needing a positive reaction from the driver she as well was having a headache about the past couple of days. 

Seeing no reaction, she immediately grasped the earring thanking him silently but before she could turn away, he grabbed the sides of her face pulling her back in for another taste, she immediately melted in his arms, almost dropping the earring. After the two separated, their eyes wouldnt dare leave each other for a second, Charles lifting a corner of his mouth, feeling all types of adrenaline while the girl in his arms tried her best to calm down not sure if she was liking the rapid pace her heart was going. 

“Hope this isn’t part of your plan Leclerc” was all she could let out, with a shaky breath. Charles only smiled, reassuring her

“I lost the minute I started falling” 

[of-many-aus]

Why Jake calls you ‘Angel’

Summary: there’s always an origin story to a nickname, this one is yours

Warnings: none

A/N: let me know what you think of this series so far :)

Take Me Out to the Ball Game Masterlist

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

This was stupid. You had no idea why you had even let Natasha talk you into this, she knew this wasn’t your thing.

The noise was deafening with everyone screaming at the top of their lungs. Cheers and boos for this team or that.

Bodies rammed into one another as they jumped up and down, supporting their respective teams that were made up of either a sky blue, or a crimson red.

“You have to get to know him,” Nat chatted your ear off above all the yells, keeping your arms linked tightly as you wove back and forth in the crowd, “He’s your roommate, and you hardly know a thing about him.”

“Yeah,” You snapped back, shooting her a small glare, “Maybe he’s a serial killer. How does that feel, Nat? You could very well be the person who pressured me into accepting a living situation with a murderer.”

She rolled her eyes, long since used to your dramatic antics, “A cute murderer.” Your best friend flashed you a grin.

You rolled your eyes sarcastically, “Well, what he lacks in personality, I suppose he makes up for in looks.”

“Exactly!” She cheered, finally pushing through a clearing and towards seemingly the only two empty seats in the whole stadium, not giving you the chance to open your mouth and snap back about being sarcastic. She knew very well that you were.

It had been about two weeks since you and the star of your college's baseball team, Jake Seresin, had made a temporary arrangement of moving into an apartment together. And the two of you had been walking on eggshells around each other, which Natasha Trace never failed to throw in your face.

Honestly, you were more than fine keeping it that way. The less you were forced to talk to the cocky, ego driven athlete, the better.

Your best friend, on the other hand, seemed to think that it was fate that the two of you were thrown into the same living establishment. And apparently, it was an opportunity not to be passed up. Now, you had been dragged to his team's second game of the season. Evidently, missing his first one was some sort of crime in Natasha’s eyes and you now had to make up for it.

What did it matter anyway? He didn’t even know that you were here, and honestly, you hoped that it stayed that way. You didn’t need him thinking something other than the simple fact that you were dragged here, fighting tooth and nail to get away. But it was useless, Nat was impossible to stop when she put her mind to something.

Of course, the only seats available had to be in the very front row, just to the right of home plate.

The game had already started by the time you two sat down, and Jake's team was getting absolutely demolished.

No wonder all the other spectators were getting rowdy so quickly. Your school was trying to urge the team into coming back, and the other school was trying to keep their team up. The score was 1-6 and it was only the second inning.

Jakes team was up at bat, more specifically, a man you recognized to be Reuben Fitch, who was in your science class, at the plate, bat up and at the ready. According to the scoreboard, there was already one out, two pitches thrown, and nobody on the bases.

The pitcher from the other team glared against the sun as he wound his arm back, ready to release the ball. And when he so, it hooked in such a way that poor Reuben didn’t stand a chance of hitting it.

You felt a pang of pity in your heart for him, he had always been friendly to you, and watching his lips move in the shape of a curse and shaking his head in disappointment at himself made you sad to see. He made his way back to the dug out with a head hung low, not even reacting when Pete Mitchell, the coach, clapped him on the back in reassurance when he shuffled past him.

A frown pulled at your lips, “This is just sad,” You commented, “You picked the absolute worst day to force me to come and see a game.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to rebuttal, only to snap it shut when her eyes locked onto something behind you. A smirk slowly made its way onto her face, “Or maybe not.”

With furrowed eyebrows, you turned in your seat to see what she was looking at, only to lock eyes on a jersey you had grown accustomed to seeing thrown lazily around your apartment- along with other pieces of gear he never bothered to pick up- making it’s way towards you.

Jake was up at bat.

There was a determined aura about him, you could tell from the way his eyes stayed trained on the pitchers mound and from the way his jaw was set and shoulders were in a ridged square.

High pitched squeals erupted from behind you in a way that made you cringe at the sudden noise.

“It’s Jake!”

“He looks so hot.”

“He was totally checking me out earlier.”

You rolled your eyes at the group of girls behind you, babbling like a bunch of teenagers at the mall, and crossed your arms over your chest.

Natasha was looking over at you with a smirk that had morphed into a knowing one.

“What?” You snapped.

Her grin only widened, “Nothing, nothing.” She murmured, turning her attention back to the game.

After allowing your eyes to linger suspiciously on her for another moment, you tore them away from her and too looked to where Jake was now winding up to bat.

The pitcher threw the next one faster than he had moments ago, and it headed straight for the blond man.

Your heart jumped to your throat and your arms unconsciously loosened, falling to your sides as you leaned forward.

Jake jumped backwards out of the way just in time, the ball narrowly missing his stomach in the process.

Shouts of protest came from all over the stadium, cursing out the pitcher for trying to take out the star player.

A breath slipped through your lips and you felt the muscles in your shoulders loosen. Why they were even tense in the first place, you didn’t know.

Seresin let out a huff, taking a step back from the plate to give himself a moment to collect himself, and his gaze unconsciously swept over the crowd.

Bright green eyes locked onto yours before you could even think about looking away and trying to hide yourself.

Jake stilled.

All of the sounds seemed to drown out around you. Neither of you let up your stares, no matter how much as you knew you should.

Then, the corner of his lips quirked up the tiniest bit, and he threw a wink in your direction before turning back to the plate and stepping up once more.

One of the girls squealed from behind you, “Did you see that? Did you? Did you? He winked at me!”

You barely even heard her, eyes still yet to leave Jakes tall form.

“What was that all about?” You could hear the grin in her voice as Natasha whispered to you.

Not an answer came out of you though. You were too transfixed in the game.

When the ball came at him again, he was ready, and he hit it out of the park. Literally.

Again, it seemed like almost every person in the stadium began screaming at the top of their lungs. Whether it was from anger or pure joy at the home run the man had just hit.

Somehow, you had joined in with them, clapping as loudly as you could and cheering.

Jake threw one glance to you over his shoulder before taking a jog around the bases, a grin of victory playing on his lips.

It only went uphill from there.

Somehow, when put in the outfield, every single ball went Jake's way, and he caught each and every one of them. Then each time he came up to bat, he would get at least one other person home.

There was a reason he was the star player.

By the end, the score was 12-6, and your throat was raw from all the screaming you had done, as well as most likely every other person in the audience.

“Well?” You finally tore your eyes away from the field at your best friend's voice, “Worth coming?”

You hid a grin and tried to shrug nonchalantly, “I suppose.”

She laughed loudly, linking your arms together and beginning to lead you into the slowly dispersing crowd.

The two of you chatted all the way back to the row of cars, when a voice calling out your name made you both stop and turn.

Jake jogged after the two of you, baseball gear bag slung over one shoulder.

The group of girls that had been obnoxious behind you for the entire game now stood a few yards away with dropped jaws that soon turned into sneers.

Your roommate paid them no mind though, as he came to a stop in front of you, slightly breathless as if he had run all the way from the dugout to catch up with you.

“Hi,” You breathed out in surprise, eyebrows raised.

He grinned that blinding, award winning smile of his, “You came to my game.”

“Oh yeah,” Natasha piped up, nodding excitedly from beside you, “She practically dragged me here.”

Your head snapped into her direction and your eyes widened for a brief second before you began glaring daggers at her, “I did not-“

“I’m glad you came.”

The gentleness of his tone made your mouth snap shut and your attention turn to him once more.

“We were losing, bad, but then you showed up, and we suddenly won again.” He was yet to drop his grin.

You shook your head, “That wasn’t me-“

“Sure it was,” He laughed lightly, “You’re like my own guardian angel.”

You rolled your eyes, “Don’t call me that.”

If it was even possible, his grin seemed to widen, “Why not? I think it’s fitting.”

A scoff left your lips, and whatever weird haze you had been in during the game finally shook off, “Don’t you dare.” You warned.

“Hangman!” Bradley Bradshaw called from a couple paces away, waving the man down, “Come on! The boys are going out to celebrate!”

“Be right there!” The blond called back before winking at you once more, “See you at home, Angel.”

With that, he jogged off, leaving you in a speechless state that was so unlike you.

Nat moved to stand in front of you, wiggling her eyebrows.

You hesitated before softly shoving her, “Shut up.” You mumbled, turning to make your way to the car.

Taglist: none yet

[fiddleleafedfig]

@wolfstarmicrofic | April 23:rd Teacher AU | Also inspired by this incredible post | 971 words

“It’s because I’m gay.”

Dora’s words had echoed in his head for the better duration of two years.

Two years.

Jesus Christ.

It sounds more clear now that there isn’t an ever pressing haze of alcohol clouding his brain. But alas, he frankly can’t afford to be an alcoholic anymore. He wasn’t even that good at it. A bottle of wine every evening and Remus just turned into a weepier version of his otherwise quite bleak self and watched old rom-coms on tv until he fell asleep on the couch.

But an English teacher’s salary isn’t hefty enough to really support a proper addiction and Remus hadn’t ever been the type of person to steal a car or break into someone’s house just to fuel his habit. With his luck he’d get caught right away anyway.

“This can’t come as a surprise, Rem, we never even had an active sexlife.”

Sure, fine, maybe they hadn’t. But they had been married for years; university best friends turned adult lovers and confidants turned married at twenty five and divorced at thirty three.

The divorce had at least been simple, easy, just like anything else about their relationship. One second she was there, dying her hair in the tub and staining it all bubblegum pink — the next she was moving out and downloading lesbian dating apps.

Remus munches salad from his little packed lunch. He should be planning his classes whilst having lunch — he refuses to, he’d rather sit here all bent-backed and pretend that the salad actually tastes better, that he isn’t regretting moving across the country to get away from it all. That his new life isn’t sinking his mood just like the old one did.

There’s a knock on his classroom door.

Remus looks up from his sad salad. “Come in?”

The door, covered in prints of Shakespeare plays and old illustrations of Of Mice and Men and other English class classics, opens to reveal the knocker.

Sirius has his hair in a bun today, black strands tied back and into a scrunchy that could rival the cheekiest of cheerleaders’. Other than that he is in his usual all black attire, all except his rainbow colored lanyard which holds his keys and the miniature periodic table keyring.

Sirius smiles. It’s all gray eyes that look like they’re sparkling under the hideous fluorescents and can make even the toughest lunch lady blush.

“Hi Remus, is this a bad time?”

Remus tries to swallow the tightness in his throat.

He can’t really deal with Sirius popping by like this, he’s done it quite frequently since Remus’ first week.

“No, not really,” he says, trying to keep his hands from fiddling and his eyes from darting around the room. “What can I help you with?”

Sirius shrugs, careless and relaxed. “I was just wondering if I could borrow your stapler. Seems like mine’s wandered off.”

Sirius drives a motorbike to school.

Remus saw him get off it in the parking lot not too long ago. It felt like the world stood still or maybe moved in slow motion when Sirius removed his helmet and shook his hair out, kitted out in leather. Then his neck got all hot, for some god forsaken reason, and he had to go splash cold water on his face before facing his students in the first period.

So many of Sirius’ supplies have gone missing in the short time where they have worked together.

“Erhm… Yeah, sure— absolutely,” Remus stumbles through sentences as he stands to go fetch the stapler in the supply closet. He turns the little key and quickly looks over the closet, a bit too aware that Sirius is coming closer; if he isn’t misinterpreting the scuff of boots on the floor.

He grabs the stapler, turns around. “Here.”

Sirius is right behind him, right in front of him now. Looking up at Remus with his easy smile and rows of lovely black lashes and… and… and pink lips.

“Thanks, I’ll give it back as soon as I’m done, okay?”

“Yeah…”

Sirius leaves. Remus has to go sit down, he’s feeling dizzy.

“Are you even attracted to me, Rem? I mean— it’s fine if you aren’t. Maybe I’m not your type or something.”

There was always something hidden in Dora’s words, at least in those words. Remus hadn’t come any closer to figuring them out, not even two years later.

He just sits in his darkening apartment, playing those words over and over whilst watching-but-not-really-watching tv. He should really go over to Sirius’ classroom tomorrow. You know, just to make sure he remembers to give the stapler back. And it has absolutely nothing to do with what Dora said those years ago, nothing at all.

In the following morning, Remus dresses in his good shirt and wrestles with his hair for a touch longer than usual. Why? Don’t worry about it.

He goes into work with a determination and anxiety churning in his belly.

He walks up to Sirius’ classroom, a print of Neil deGrasse Tyson on the door, and knocks.

Deep breath.

Sirius opens the door. Light eyes and smiling lips and an overall undeniably beautiful face.

Stapler, that’s what he’s there for.

“Will you go out with me?”

What?! No!

Remus was supposed to ask about the stapler!

Fuck!

Sirius just looks back up at him, glittering eyes and widening smile. He doesn’t say anything.

Remus tries to backpedal. “The stapler — I really need my stapler, that’s what I meant.”

Sirius just smiles. “So I just missed the point two second window of going out with you?”

There’s cotton in Remus’ ears, ringing in his brain. “No— I mean… Wait— Did you want to go out with me?”

Sirius’ smile looks like it’s almost too big for his face. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[squoxle]

🗼Peril in Paris ~ Minho ff 18+

🗼pairing: Lee Minho (Lee Know) x Female Reader (close proximity) | 🗼wc: 4.2k | 🗼summary: On a study abroad trip to France, you're forced to share a room with the handsome and cold-hearted Minho. |🗼cw: angst, fluff, smut, unprotected sex, fingering f., slightly rough sex, squirting (sry if u don't like that), choking, profanity, swearing

⋆｡°✩Smut Scenes are Highlighted w/ Fire Heart Emoji❤️‍🔥

Disclaimer: this ff came from my drafts in April and was made originally for Sunghoon, so if u see his name anywhere…that’s why (April 25, 2023)

You and your two best friends were so excited to study abroad in France. You had been practicing your ‘française’ and now you could have a few intermediate-ish conversations. Well, actually it’s more like basic-advanced conversations. One of your friends, Charlotte, was super advanced in comparison to you—like halfway fluent to be specific. You have a habit of looking to her for extra help. But Noemi, your other friend, is more on your level. So, you tend to joke around a lot. For the next 16 weeks, you and the rest of your class will be touring all over the beautiful city of Paris.

You continued prancing around your room, packing your suitcase with everything you’d need for your semester away. This was your first time traveling to a country overseas and you weren’t entirely sure of what to expect. You tried your best to "prepare" by binging YouTube vlogs from Paris. Luckily for you, your friends were going to be right there with you. When you were together, nothing could go wrong. Or so you thought…

Charlotte’s Parents drove you and Noemi to the airport where you met up with the rest of your class. When you walked into the massive airport you followed the signs pointing to your group. “Okay everyone. I need to see two lines. One for the ladies and one for the gentlemen.” The head professor—Mr. Zhao—said as he waved his hands around to get everyone’s attention.

The students got into the appropriate lines with their suitcases and boarded the plane. “Omg! I still can’t believe we’re going to Paris~” Noemi giggled. “Yeah, this is an amazing opportunity to immerse ourselves in this beautiful language and culture.” Charlotte chimed. “Y/N! Come on! Let’s GOOO~”Noemi said. You were still locking eyes with Lee Minho. He had been staring at you almost the whole time you guys were in line. But it wasn’t the type of staring that would cause your heart to flutter, it was the cold glare that pierced your soul.

You proceeded to board the plane with your friends. Fortunately, you all had seats next to each other…it always felt like fate kept you guys together. “I saw him staring at you,” Noemi whispered as she nodded her head in Minho’s direction. He was sitting in the row next to us with some other boys.

“Ok, so what?” You snapped “He’s super attractive. And, he might be into you, just saying. If I were you I’d totally be into him” She giggled. Charlotte had already fallen asleep so she was missing all the drama. “Knock it off, Noemi. I’m not interested and I don’t think he is either.” You replied, nudging her shoulder. “So you’re telling me you don’t think he’s hot?” Noemi smirked. “I mean…he’s good-looking, but I’m not just gonna hop on him.” You said as the two of you glanced at the boy. “He really was beautiful,” you thought to yourself.

After the plane landed you and the rest of the group boarded a large tour bus that took you to the hotel you’d be staying at for the next 16 weeks. The female instructor, Ms. Rei, gathered all of the female students and put them into the 5 rooms in groups of three. Mr. Allen did the same with the male students.

However, for some reason, there was one room left and the only people who hadn’t been grouped up were you and Minho.

“Sorry. We miscalculated the room arrangements and you two will be sharing a room with me.” Mr. Zhao said with a shrug. To be honest, he’s one of the cooler teachers so this wasn’t a problem. The problem was that you were separated from your best friends.

You definitely DID NOT see this coming. "What are the odds," you sighed to yourself.

“Umm…well I was supposed to be all alone in this room. But since I’ll be sharing with you two…I’ll take the sofa and you two can share the bed.” Mr. Zhao said as we reached our room. “And don’t worry. It’s a king-sized bed. So, the two of you can sleep at some distance.” He awkwardly chuckled.

Minho remained dead silent the whole time. He then headed to your shared room with his phone in his hand. He was probably doing the same thing you would do…text your friends. You remember him sitting next to two other boys—also attractive, but that’s not the point.

“Which side do you want?” Minho said breaking the silence. “Oh…umm…I’ll take the side by the window if that’s okay with you,” I replied. “I obviously don’t care. That’s why I asked.” He shot back coldly. I really don’t understand why he’s being so cold. Neither of you wanted to be here, but at least you were trying to make the best of it.

Since you arrived at night, you only had enough time to shower and unpack a few things before bed. Mr. Zhao ordered some dinner from the hotel’s restaurant, but Minho decided to just shower and go to sleep.

While eating dinner, Mr. Zhao told you about a few of the things you were going to do the next day. By the time you finished, you were ready to go to bed. Without thinking, you walked straight into your room, locking eyes with Minho.

He was wearing a plain white tee and his hair was slightly damp. He was also wearing a pair of grey sweats with a towel around his neck. “I’m finished in there just so you know.” He said before sitting on his side of the bed with his phone in his hand. I couldn’t help but stare. “Are you going or what?” He asked, snapping me out of my head. “Oh yeah. Sorry.” you stammered, picking out your nightgown before heading to the shower.

When the morning finally came, I got ready for the day. On the tour bus is where I found my friends, Charlotte and Noemi.

“Hey…so what happened? We were texting you all last night.” The two of them said upon greeting you. “My phone died and I couldn’t find a charger.” “Oh, okay.” They looked at you as if waiting for you to tell them some juicy gossip.

“I’m sharing a room with Mr. Zhao and Minho if that’s what u were wondering,” you said slinging the bag over your shoulder. You watched as their jaws dropped halfway to the ground after what you just said.

“NO WAY! You are so lucky~! Did you and Minho ‘do’ anything?” Noemi asked mischievously.

“No, we just shared a bed--"

"Shared a bed! How are you being so chill right now?" Noemi spat, cutting you off. "Girl, the thing I would've done with an opportunity like that."

"You wouldn't have made much progress. When I came out of the shower he was still glued to his phone,” you continued.

“Oh, bummer. I thought he would’ve been cooler.” Noemi said waving her hands in the air.

When you guys arrived at the Louvre Museum you broke off into the same groups assigned last night. Which meant you had to be with stone-cold Minho and Mr. Zhao. Though you'd much rather be goofing off with your friends.

“Well guys, what do you think, huh? There’s some pretty amazing artwork here.” “Hmm. Yeah, I guess.” Minho said with a shrug.

Before you could speak, Mr. Zhao’s phone rang. “Hold on you guys. I’ve gotta take this call really quick.” He said before stepping out of sight.

Again, here you were. Alone. With Minho. The taps of his phone echoed throughout the quiet hall. That and the random sounds of him sniffing through his nose.

For weeks this cold behavior persisted from Minho and you’d had enough of it. He was making this trip miserable. And now was your chance to maybe change things up a bit. Or at least make it less awkward.

“What’s wrong with you?” You asked, sternly.

“Hmm? Were you talking to me?”

“Obviously. Who else is around?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed before turning back to his phone.

“You’re letting life pass you by while you tap away at that damn phone.” Saying this caused him to look up at you. “Since we got here you’ve been driving me insane. You make everything feel awkward, you hardly talk, and when you do, you have an attitude. What did I do to you?” Minho tucked his phone away in his pocket.

“There. Are you happy now?” His passiveness pissed you off even more. He could see the look of frustration on your face at his nonchalant behavior. You were fuming at his casualness.

“Sorry. I don’t know how else to tell you this. I’m just not a ‘people’ person.” He said looking down at the ground. “How about I make it up to you?”

“How do you plan on doing that?” You asked.

“Follow me.” He grabbed your hand as he led you out of the museum.

“But--" You stammered, trying to think of a valid excuse. After all, this is kinda your fault, right? If only you had just kept your damn mouth shut.

Like any sane person, you were weary about venturing off in a foreign country. Especially, alone...with a boy. "What about Mr. Zhao?” you spat, digging your feet into the ground in an attempt to stop him from leaving.

“Relax. I remember where the hotel is. Even if we get left behind, we won’t be lost.” He said with a smile.

This was the first time you saw Minho smile…ever. It was like diamonds. And I know how corny that sounds, but it really was just as rare and beautiful as diamonds.

He led you into a park that wasn't too far from the museum.

“What are we doing here?” You asked in a slightly shaking tone.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you wanna go back already. Daddy’s just getting started,” he smirked before holding your hand and walking further away.

“What had gotten into this boy?” You wondered to yourself. How does someone come from quiet and cold to cheeky and adventurous? Was he putting on an act or is this the person he’s always been? You couldn’t tell because both sides seemed so genuine, but by the time you snapped out of your thoughts it was already too late to turn back.

“So, what are you gonna do now?” You asked.

“Taking you out for a drink of course,” he said before walking into the cafe that stood in front of you.

“You think a cup of coffee is supposed to make up for you acting like a stone cold bitch?” You asked casually. To be honest you were trying to match his energy, but this type of lingo really wasn’t your style, and it honestly made you cringe at yourself.

“I can do so much more,” Minho whispered in your ear before kissing your cheek. The flustered look on your face caused him to giggle a bit.

“What the hell is going on?” You thought to yourself.

Once you made your way to the register, you were greeted by the young man behind the counter. He was tall, attractive, and had a naturally toned body. You could tell through the crisp white collar shirt he wore. You were speechless for reasons aside from his looks. As you could assume, he spoke to you in French. And, as you mentioned earlier, you weren’t very good.

Minho watched as a dazed and confused expression formed on your face while your brain played connect the dots. “Don’t worry. I got it,” he smiled before telling the young man what you wanted.

Luckily for you it was just a cup of black coffee. Minho’s ordered something else, but you definitely heard the word for coffee. You felt like kicking yourself in the ass for not studying enough.

You and Minho walked over to a table near a window. It was growing darker by the minute and you were starting to worry.

“So, you wanna talk? Let’s talk. Tell me something about yourself,” Minho said as you started out the window

“What do you want to know?” You asked as you toyed with your fingers under the table.

“Hmm…let’s start simple and then escalate to something a little crazier. How’s that sound?” He suggested, tilting his head slightly to the side.

You nodded in response as he asked you the first question, “What type of music do you listen to?”

"Uhhh. Honestly, I'll pretty much listen to anything," you said switching your attention to the conversation.

"Me too, but I prefer listening to good dancing music. It just makes me feel better," the two of you went on asking a few more random questions back and forth. However, the entire time he was talking you couldn't help but search desperately for that smile. Every now and then you'd see it peek out a bit, but you wanted to see it in full.

"See something you like?" Minho smirked as he ripped you out of your inner thoughts.

"Huh?" you stammered.

"Well, you keep looking at my lips. Did you want to kiss or would you rather keep thinking about it?" he leaned closer to you, flashing that cheeky smile.

You were speechless and you could feel your face heating up as he came closer to you.

"Since you haven't said anything, I assume a kiss is exactly what you want," he chuckled to himself. "Let's save it until after we leave okay. Hopefully, you can control yourself long enough."

It wasn't long before the waiter came out with your order. Two black coffees and a small box with a bow. "What's inside the box?" you asked Minho.

"It's a surprise," he smiled. "You can have some later," he said before sipping from his cup.

You were really starting to like this side of him. Especially the fact that you were the only one who got a chance to see it.

After finishing your drinks the two of you walked around for a bit more before Minho was ready to head back to the hotel. He also told you that he texted Mr. Zhao earlier, telling him that you felt sick and he was taking you back to the hotel. The box of treats was something for the three of you to share.

"I guess he forgot about the kiss," you thought to yourself as you climbed into the taxi.

Even though you initially told yourself that you wouldn't do something like that with him, you were getting the feeling to do a little more than just that.

The ride home was dead silent. It was like he had gone back to his old self again. Completely zoned out on his phone and absent in reality. Was it something you said? Or was that really all just some act to get you to shut up? You weren't sure, but you'd still hold on to the memories from that moment.

The glint from his smile flashed into your head as you walked through the hotel door.

"Feeling better?" Mr. Zhao asked as you came in.

"Yeah," you sighed as you watched Minho silently walk to the bedroom.

"Where're you going?" Mr. Zhao asked him.

"I'm going to take a shower," he muttered before walking into the room.

"Hey, next time you're not feeling well. Make sure you let me know. I could've taken you back here and got you some medicine," Mr. Zhao said, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Okay, I will," you smiled. "And Minho bought these for us," you said handing him the box.

"Aww. Let him know I said thank you. Did you want to pick yours first?" he asked as he opened the box.

"No, that's okay," you smiled before walking to the room.

It felt like a heavy weight was on your shoulders. The thrill was gone and everything had returned back to normal.

Just like last time, Minho came out of the bathroom with damp hair and plopped on the edge of the bed, tapping away at his phone. You pulled out a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt before heading to the shower.

You turned the water on high, causing the mirror to fog up. You got lost in the thought of Minho coming into the bathroom and joining you in the shower.

You squeezed your thighs together as the warm water ran down your body. You could feel yourself getting more and more excited, but the sound of the soap dropping to the floor startled you. You felt a bit of guilt after realizing that you were getting turned on by a casual interaction with a classmate you never really paid attention to.

You finished up in the shower before balling your clothes up to toss in the laundry bin.

As expected, you saw Minho lying in bed when you came out. The feelings of pure annoyance returned as you thought back to the way he behaved like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde. The two-faced, bi-personality this man wielded was insane. Both sides seemed so genuine. It was hard to figure out who he really was.

You went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before going to bed. You looked over to see Mr. Zhao sleeping soundly on his makeshift bed. He'd gathered together extra pillows and sofa cushions to make a platform on the floor.

You walked back to your room and climbed into bed, moving around to get into a comfortable position.

"Can you keep still?" Minho said sharply.

"Sorry," you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes as you plopped your head down onto the pillow.

"Here we go again," you thought to yourself. "Random, grumpy, asshole," you sighed to yourself as you rolled over and closed your eyes.

"Hey," Minho whispered.

"What?" you angrily whispered back.

"Did you still want that kiss?" he asked as you rolled over to meet his gaze.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" you spat back.

"No, I'm serious."

"You must've lost your fucking mind."

"Sorry, it's just that..."

"It's just that what?"

Minho moved in closer to you. So close that to the point that your faces were barely an inch apart.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about it," he said glaring into your eyes.

"You can't be serious. I'm not falling for this lame-ass act again. Good night," you huffed before turning away from him.

"I'm sorry for getting cold on you again. That's just the way I am," you heard him say from behind you.

"Look, there're two sides of me--"

"Yeah, I see that now," you mumbled, cutting him off.

"Let me explain--"

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm trying to sleep so can you just be quiet," you spat.

Minho pulled the cover off of your body causing you to turn your body over to face him.

"What the fu--" You were startled by Minho climbing on top of you. You were completely speechless.

Your eyes doe eyes glistened under the faint light emitting from the bedroom window. You watched as his body hovered over you. His facial features looked even more amazing in the cool moonlight.

Minho leaned in to kiss you while you were still dazed. Just a small peck, but enough to get your attention. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before kissing again.

You couldn't believe what was happening right now. You were in a shared hotel room making out with one of your classmates while your professor was asleep in the other room.

The kissing intensified as you thought back to your fantasy in the shower. You gripped onto Minho's hair as your tongues intertwined. Your breathing became ragged as you desperately begged for more. But what really got things started was when you accidentally moaned in his mouth.

❤️‍🔥

Minho paused to straddle your body as he looked at you lying beneath him. "What was that for?" he smirked. "Nothing," you lied. "It didn't seem like nothing," he leaned in closer. "Tell me what you were thinking about," he said as he began kissing on your neck.

"I was thinking about you in the shower," you blatantly admitted. You were surprised that those words had even escaped your lips, but Minho's reaction made it all worth it.

"Oh really? And what were you thinking?" he asked as he rubbed your thigh. "Go on. You can close your eyes if it makes you feel better," the feeling of his breath against your neck made your insides flutter.

"I was thinking about you coming into the bathroom and fucking me in the shower," you said as you closed your eyes. You could hear him slightly chuckle in your ear as he moved his hand between your legs. You felt his hands massaging your pussy through your shorts.

"Mhmm. And how did that make you feel?" he asked. "Ngh!" you groaned as he pressed his thumb against your clit. "Nevermind, I already got my answer," he smiled as he felt your pussy throbbing through your shorts.

"How about I tell you a little secret? I wasn't talking in the taxi because I was too busy thinking about all the things I wanted to do to you back there," Minho spat on his fingers before sliding them into your shorts. "And when we came in, I jerked off in the shower because of you," he continued as rubbed your clit.

"You're so fucking wet," he smiled as he kissed you again. "Do you wanna know what I was thinking about?" he asked to which you hummed in response. "How about I just show you," he smirked.

Minho reached down to pull your shorts off. You moved your legs to wiggle them off before they fell on the floor. Minho rubbed the print of his dick through his pants before pulling out his dick. He glided himself between your folds, you watched his dick twitch as he was eager to enter your wet walls. "Mmm. Your pussy feels so good," he groaned.

You sat up slightly to remove his shirt, revealing the scar on his stomach. Minho continued to stroke his dick back and forth between your pussy lips, coating it in your fluids. You watched as the precum seeped from his dick before inserting it into your pussy.

You let out a soft moan as he inched his way through. "Shhh," he hushed as he covered your mouth. "We don't wanna wake anyone up." You felt him pushing every inch inside of you before taking long, slow strokes in and out of your pussy.

The room was filled with the squelching sounds of your pussy and your muffled panting as Minho increased the speed. He moved his hand as he raised your legs to change the position. Your ankles were now over his shoulder as he pounded hard into your pussy. You tried your best to stay quiet, but the pleasure was overwhelming.

You started to moan quietly through your closed lips, that was until Minho grabbed onto your waist and fucked you deeper. A loud moan escaped your lips as he railed you deeper. "You like that don't you baby?" He wrapped his hands around your throat and pushed you into the bed as he hammered your pussy. Choked moans hiccuped from your throat as you reached your climax.

Your chest raised up and down as you gripped onto Minho's waist. "Come on baby. You're almost there," you felt your pussy tightening around his dick as he pumped in and out of you. "That's it. Cum for me like a good girl," he groaned as you panted breathlessly.

You were just at the point where you were about to cum when Minho lifted you up and began drilling you as you squirted all over his abs. Minho pulled you close as his dick twitched inside of your pussy.

Feeling drained but relaxed you weren't ready for what Minho wanted to do next.

Minho dropped you on the bed and turned you over. Your ass was up in the air facing him as he gripped it before hammering into your pussy from behind. "Ugh. I can't get enough of your perfect fucking cunt," he hummed. You could hear the sounds of your skin slapping against each other as he fucked you.

Your legs quivered as you were getting ready to cum again. Your moans were muffled by the bed sheets. Minho pressed your head into the bed as he faintly moaned from behind. "Ngh, fuck. You feel so fucking good." You could tell Minho was reaching his climax as the speed increased even more.

He pulled your body back, gripping one of your breasts in his hand, while the other wrapped firmly around your throat. "Ngh," Minho whimpered as he filled your pussy.

❤️‍🔥

You and Minho fell down onto the bed before lying lazily under the covers. "We can go again in the morning if you want," Minho said kissing your cheek. "You just gotta get up early," he continued before caressing your face. "Then we can fulfill your fantasy," he smirked.

You agreed to some steamy shower sex before the two of you fell asleep, naked and wrapped up in each other's arms.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @nikisdubblchococake @addictedtohobi @parkjonseongswife @hoyeonheeseung @cas104 @doseoflily @neoteez01 @fics-jillian-liked @skzfelixlove @hyunjinswifeee @urfavberry @ihrtlix @emily1310universe-blog @tiddiesbruhposts @stay-berry @hwanghyunjin2 @cherry8183 @hyunjinslovebott @ta3baee @skz-lover21 @skztalkersworld @hyunjinnie2000 @hyunjinswifeyy @luvyblossom @th3-g1rl-y0u-10v3 @bratty-tingz @skzenhalove

[togrowoldinv]

Spring Break

College!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

When Yelena invites you on a trip, your relationship with Natasha becomes harder to hide from her

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Lots of teasing, cursing, oral, also some soft moments

Note: I’m back with more college Nat! Check out Sweetheart for some backstory here. Follow my library blog for fic updates! Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

“Natasha,” you say breathlessly as the woman pulls at your hips to bring your center closer to her face. She hums against you as you continue to get close.

But then you’re interrupted.

“I’m home!” Yelena’s voice rings out from the living room.

"Fuck, she wasn’t supposed to be home yet,” you say while frantically trying to get off Natasha.

“No, not so fast,” Natasha says. She pulls your hips back down. “Just stay quiet. You’re going to come for me, sweetheart.”

“Nat, she could come in and-“ you’re cut off by Natasha’s tongue on you again. She works quickly and you bite your lip as you come for her.

“Good girl,” Natasha says quietly as she lets go of your waist.

You hear footsteps approaching your room and Natasha sits up to kiss you before she grabs her clothes and sneaks into your closet. You slip your clothes on quickly.

She shuts the door right as her sister enters your room.

“Hey y/n,” Yelena greets you. She walks right in and sits at your desk.

“Hey, what’s up?” You try act casual.

“So, I’m booking a trip for spring break,” she begins. “And I want you to come with us.”

“Us meaning you and Kate?” You ask even though you know the answer. She nods. “I don’t know Yelena. Third wheeling isn’t so fun.”

“So you’re going to just sit here all week? Come on, please! It’ll be so fun,” Yelena begs you. She gives you her best puppy dog eyes and pout.

“Fine,” you agree. “How much do I owe you?”

“Nothing at all. Kate’s mom is rich, so it’s basically free except for food and drinks.”

You give her a stunned look and she only shrugs.

“We leave Friday!” She says as she walks out of your room.

You shut the door and Natasha comes out of your closet.

“So I guess you heard I’ll be gone next week,” you say with a sigh.

“Why aren’t you excited?” She asks, sitting on your bed next to you.

“I just kind of hate third wheeling with them. And she doesn’t know about us so it’s like I can’t really say no,” you explain.

“I see,” Natasha says. She wraps an arm around your shoulder and you lean into her. You’ve found that you love the soft moments with her just as much as the sex with her.

“I’ll miss you,” you say. And it’s true. You’ve gotten used to sneaking around and seeing Nat almost everyday since that party where you hooked up.

“I’ll miss you too, baby. It’ll be okay,” she assures you. “I’ve got class in the morning, so I should probably get going. Is that alright?”

“Of course, yeah. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Absolutely.”

Natasha kisses you once more before you check to make sure the coast is clear and then she leaves your room and apartment.

The days leading up to the trip go by quickly and before you know it you’re packed and in the car to the airport.

“We are just making one more stop and then to the airport,” Kate tells the driver.

You have no idea what that stop could be, but when you arrive at a familiar apartment your heart beats faster.

Your gut feeling is confirmed when the redhead slips into the seat next to you.

“Hey,” Natasha says simply, a smirk that only you understand is on her face.

Yelena moves out of her seat and hugs her sister. “I’m so glad you could come!”

“Me too,” Nat says. “It’ll be nice to catch up and relax.”

The ride to the airport feels long and intense with the way Natasha’s thigh brushes against yours. When you get into the plane, you can’t all four sit together so you split up into twos. Obviously, you and Natasha end up together.

“How are you here?” You ask her. The loudness of the plane and being a few rows away from Yelena and Kate allows for you to talk like this.

“Yelena asked me,” Nat says.

“Why? Do you think she knows?”

“I don’t, no. I think she just wanted me to go. I don’t know.”

You accept that answer is the best you’re going to get.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. It’ll be fun,” Natasha says, slipping her hand into yours. “Think about the fact that I packed my best red bikini.”

Your eyes go wide and Nat chuckles. She likes how easily she can get you flustered.

She holds your hand for the entirety of the flight.

By the time you get to the resort, everyone turns in for an early night. Kate and Yelena go to one room while you and Nat take the other.

“See I told you this would be fun,” Nat says as she slips into bed next to you.

“I guess. But I’m still worried she’s going to find out.”

“Let me ease some of those worries,” she says. Her hand brushes your over the skin of your arm.

“Nat, we can’t do that here,” you say.

“Why?”

“We just- we need to keep it chill this week.”

“Alright,” she agrees. “Chill.”

Something about the tone of her voice and the way she kisses your cheek before she turns over to go to sleep tells you that she won’t be making this week easy.

On the beach the next day, your worries are confirmed as Nat strolls past you in a red bikini. Thank goodness you have sunglasses on or Yelena and Kate would see your eyes unashamedly all over Natasha’s body.

“Did everyone put on sunscreen?” Her voice breaks you from your stare.

“Yes mom,” Yelena answers her sister, rolling her eyes in the process. She goes back to her conversation with Kate.

“Y/n?” Nat asks.

“Um, no I didn’t. But I’ll be fine,” you say.

“You’ll get burnt, sweetheart. Let me put some on you,” she says with a smirk on her face.

She doesn’t give you a chance to argue before she’s in front of you with a bottle in her hands.

“We’re going to the water,” Kate announces before her and Yelena walk off hand in hand.

Natasha gestures for you to stand up. You do so and she slips into your chair. She pats the space in between her legs.

“Come on, it’s just sunscreen,” she teases you. You sit on the chair between her legs, trying to ignore the way her her hands are immediately on your hips.

She puts the lotion in her hands and begins applying it to your back. Nat takes her time as she does so. Her hands drift down further and over to your thighs. Deft fingers run over your inner thighs.

“Natasha,” you practically moan.

“You like that, baby?” She asks. Her mouth is next to your ear. You nod and she pulls her hands away. You let out a small whimper. “Don’t do that, sweetheart. You said we were keeping it chill this week.”

Her lips ghost over the back of your neck as she taps your hips for you to stand up. She puts the bottle away and walks towards the waves, leaving you there speechless.

And that’s what she does for the entirety of the next few days. Never missing an opportunity to tease you, she keeps you flustered.

On the final full day, you’re laying out in the sun when Natasha comes up to you. She’s been in the water and her skin glistens with water droplets. She takes her hair down and shakes it out. The water hits your body.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you wet,” Natasha says. Her words and the look on her face is enough to make you wet, and not from the ocean water.

You stand up and excuse yourself back to the resort. Trying to cool down, you get a water from the fridge. When you close the door, Natasha is standing on the other side of it.

“Fuck! You scared me,” you say.

“Sorry,” she chuckles. She hops on the counter. “You’re not playing it very chill by the way.”

“Me? Says the one who is teasing me!”

Natasha laughs and reaches her hands out for you. You look towards the door and back to Nat. You really do miss being in her arms.

Taking her hands, you step between her legs.

“What’s the harm in not keeping it chill just once?” Nat asks. “Besides I did actually make you wet, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” She asks, her fingers hover over the waistband of your bathing suit.

“Yes daddy.”

“There we go, baby.”

Natasha slips her fingers into your suit bottoms and runs them over your slick folds. She smirks at how wet you really are. Slipping then down your legs, she gets off the counter and is on her knees in front of you.

“Oh fuck,” you say as her mouth gets work quickly. You reach for the counter in front of you so you don’t lose your footing. She makes you weak in the knees.

“Be good for me, baby,” she says with a sternness to her voice. Her hands grip the back of your thighs tightly.

You’re so into it that you don’t notice the door opening. But you do hear it close. So does Natasha. She stops eating you out and stands up abruptly.

“Was it Yelena?” She asks.

“I don’t know,” you say. “Oh god, I don’t know.”

You start to pace the kitchen in a panic. Nat hands you your suit bottoms before she goes to the door to see if she can tell who it was. She has no luck.

“Okay relax, baby. If it was Yelena, she would’ve said something. Maybe it was housekeeping or something?” Natasha tries to ease your worries.

“Or it was Kate who will immediately tell Yelena,” you say.

“Let’s just not worry about it, okay? We’ll get cleaned up and get ready for dinner.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, I’ve got you,” she says, taking your face in her hands. She kisses your forehead gently.

It’s not long before Yelena and Kate are back and getting ready for dinner as well. The four of you walk to the restaurant and everything appears to be going smoothly.

Until during dinner when Yelena turns to Kate and asks, “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet all night.”

“Oh yeah, I’m good. It’s just- never mind,” Kate replies. Her eyes bounce between you and Nat. Your pace quickens.

“What is it, babe?” Yelena pushes.

“I saw something,” Kate blurts out. Yelena raises a brow, prompting her to continue. “It was Natasha and y/n they were-“

“We’re dating,” Natasha interrupts Kate. “We have been dating for about a month.”

“Oh,” is Yelena’s only response.

You jump in. “We were going to tell you.”

“Excuse me,” Yelena leaves the table.

Your eyes tear up as you worry about how she reacted and if she will still be your best friend.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Nat says. “Stay with Kate. I’m going to go talk to her.” She rubs her hand on your back before she leaves the table.

“I’m sorry,” Kate says. “I just felt like I had to tell her.”

“It’s alright,” you say.

Meanwhile, Natasha finds Yelena back up in the room.

“Why?” Yelena speaks first. “Why my best friend?”

“Because she’s everything to me,” Natasha replies. “When I’m with her, I just feel at home.”

Yelena sees the truth in Natasha’s eyes. She’s never seen her like this before.

“You’re not just hooking up with her?”

“No,” Nat says. “It started the first time that way, but really it was more than that by the time we finished. Yelena, I promise, I’m not going to hurt her.”

Yelena crosses the room and takes her sister into her arms. For so long, they’ve only had each other. And now they both have you.

“Can we go back to dinner?” Natasha asks, holding her little sister tight.

“Yeah,” Yelena says. “Just promise me that nothing with us will change because of this.”

“I promise, sestra,” Natasha says.

The two walk back to the restaurant and Yelena walks ahead to get to you first. She hugs you from behind.

“Don’t hurt my sister,” she says.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“I know,” she says. “Also, don’t tell me anything about your sex life. Got it?”

You laugh at that. “Got it, Yel. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Yelena says. She goes back to her side of the table and Nat sits next to you again.

“We’re okay?” You ask her.

“We’re okay, sweetheart.”

Natasha reaches for your hand underneath the table. With the feeling of her hand in yours, love radiates between the two of you.

And everything feels right.

[bloodmoonmuses]

supercut- johnny suh

genre: johnny x reader, childhood friends to ex-best friends to lovers, a little bit of angst and a lotttttt of nostalgia <3

summary: time escapes you and johnny- a supercut of bliss and naivete, all glittery and rosy, morphing and everchanging over the years- until your paths cross once more.

(for @lovesuhng <3)

Seventh Grade.

Johnny Suh. The Boy With the Eye Smile. Or at least that’s how you’re introduced to him by your mother the week before seventh grade. In an effort to not be bogged down by the remnants of summer sloth in your system, you and your mother wake for breakfast despite not needing to do so this early.  They’re a bit of a formality, the set plates and cutlery as if it isn’t just the two of you on a Wednesday morning, but it’s sort of sweet you suppose. The sun hasn’t even risen entirely and sleep matter still resides in your eyes. 

“You’ve seen him, right? He should be around the same age as you,” your mother asks, taking a bite of her nearly burnt eggs. And you had seen him, Johnny Suh, yesterday. Flying a kite with a few younger boys in the neighborhood, plump cheeks made more prominent from the width of his smile. You remember noting that you didn’t recognize him- you would’ve remembered. He’s a head taller than a majority of the kids, lanky and heart-achingly gentle. How pure, you had thought as you watched him through your kitchen window. 

His family just moved to the neighborhood, your mother tells you, and you nod as she recounts such. 

“So close to the school year,” you respond in a muffled voice. 

“If you see him at school, you should say hi. And don’t speak with food in your mouth, honey.” You swallow the bite of your pancake promptly, anxious for the school year ahead, picturing that poppy red kite fluttering in the sky.

Johnny Suh With the Eye Smile is popular, you discover. And charismatic. And smart. And somehow he’s all of these things on the first day of school (and without being a douchebag). The two of you share a language arts class where your desk is three rows behind him. You quickly become acquainted with the back of his head, burning a hole into it, infatuated with how his hair reminds you of dandelion fluff- the choppy fuzziness of it… the way he sways as though stirred by a summer breeze.

He’s the type of kid that raises his hand in class even when he doesn’t know the answer. He makes everyone laugh (even Olivia Wilson who is known to have a stick up her ass. You conclude she must have a crush on him, as do many other girls). Johnny gives your language arts teacher a high-five on the way out of class. Johnny is cool. 

It’s only the first day of school and kids are clamoring to sit next to Johnny in the cafeteria, attempting to wave him over to their respective tables like he’s a local celebrity.  But he keeps walking, in his JNCO jeans and Tony Hawk t-shirt, and instead sits next to you: the quiet kid sitting at the back of the cafeteria alone. As he does so, the cacophony of the students’ voices dissipates for just a second, your brain unable to register anything other than Johnny choosing to sit by you of all people.

He sets his bright blue lunch tray on your table, feigning nonchalance. 

“Hi,” Johnny says, lips pressed into a pouty line. He opens his carton of chocolate milk.

You acknowledge him with a jut of your chin, an attempt at looking cool, then realize you have to actually speak. “Hey.”

“I’m Johnny.” 

“I know.” You say, biting into your sandwich. How couldn’t you?

Johnny nods, immediately cutting to the chase. “Yeah. Uh- I think I saw you-”

As you eat, the sandwich gets lodged in your throat and you cough briefly, caught off guard by Johnny’s bluntness. “Where?” you ask.

“Peeking out the window at me through your blinds… When I was flying that kite.” Right, you think. So he did see you. The eye contact wasn’t a fever dream. 

Scanning his decidedly neutral face, you say, “Oh. Sorry,” and Johnny shrugs at you. 

“Just wanted to let you know it wasn’t… my kite. I’m too old for that,” he whispers. 

So he’s here to protect his street cred’? Hilarious. 

“No worries. I think it’s cool.”

“Cool?” 

“That you were helping the other boys.”

Johnny pauses, confused that your take on the situation is benign, and you see the faintest blush appear across his face. Maybe there’s more to him than meets the eye. You wonder if you’ll ever see him any more bashful than this.

“Well.. I’ll see ya around?” he asks.

“Sure.”

Then he gets up to attend to his clamoring friends, leaving you in his afterglow. 

When the final bell rings, you race out of school in hopes of catching up with Johnny. Finally, you had someone to walk home with, you thought. No need to take the long way to avoid your fear of crossing the street alone. 

You’re sure Johnny is fearless.

When you find him, talking in a circle of school boys by the flagpole, you wave meekly across the green. Johnny waves back, walking over to you when the other kids peel out.

“Hi neighbor.” Johnny says. 

“Wanna walk home together?” you ask, “I can show you a shortcut.”

“Sounds good.”

And the rest is history, really. It didn’t take much, in hindsight. Kids become friends so easily. In part, due to proximity, but there’s something to be said about the intuition of a middle schooler. A sort of magnetism that sparks up like a struck match. Instant fire that burns hot and fast. That warms you from the inside out. In your chest, then your face, your gut… until it spreads to your fingertips.

Johnny is your neighbor. Then walking buddy. Classmate. Friend. Until one day, you realize he’s your best friend.

Freshman Year.

“-and then Johnny said I should dye a few streaks of my hair red because it would make me look edgy and I could walk to the skatepark with him- the one at the underpass a few blocks away- because I’d look super cool. Like Avril Levigne.” you ramble to your mother in one breath, like the words are involuntarily tumbling out of your mouth. Another summer has come and gone. You’re a little older, slightly wiser, but buoyant with youth. Knees in a perpetual state of bouncing, hormones in a perpetual state of chaos… It’s a week before your freshman year of high-school.

“Would you jump off a cliff if Johnny said you’d look super cool?” your mom asks in jest, feigning the artificial vocal fry you’ve adopted this month (a phase your mother hopes ends soon). 

You groan, teenage attitude not completely in check quite yet. “Of course not, Mom.” Well, maybe. If you had a parachute-

Shaking her head, your mother says, “Just saying, that boy is all you talk about these days.” 

She calls him “that boy” as if he isn’t at your place almost everyday. The only reason he’s not here now is because his family is on vacation. You make a mental note to text him.

“That’s not true.” It’s mostly true. But he’s your best friend. Aren’t you supposed to talk about them all the time?

Your mother pivots. “How do you feel about starting high-school?”

Contemplating on the question a bit, you shrug. “How should I feel?”

“I don’t know. That’s for you to decide,” she says sweetly, voice lilting with amusement.

“I think I’m excited.” You and Johnny had already put in your requests to have lockers next to one another. With him, you feel like you could brave the world. “Not nervous or anything.”

“Well, that’s good. Why is that?” she presses. 

Because I have Johnny, you think.

In the week leading up to your freshman year of highschool begins, you get braces. It hurts like hell, but you manage to get out of bed and meet Johnny at the neighborhood park, like you usually do, when he returns from vacation.

“Did it, like, hurt a lot?” Johnny asks you. You’re holding a bag of ice against your cheek.

The numbing has long since worn off, but the pain couldn’t nearly deter you from seeing Johnny in the flesh- his smile giving you energy just like it did all those years ago. A whole week without him… How you survived, you’re not sure. When your peers wondered why Johnny wasn't around, they went to you first. A known pair, you two, and the thought of such makes your heart swell with pride.

In a slurred fuss, you say, “What do you think, genius?” 

“Point taken. I thought I’d ask anyway.”

“Asshole,” you mumble. 

Johnny quirks an eyebrow, then says, “Are you, like, gonna be hot after you get your braces off?”

“Johnny, what are you even talking about right now?”

“Like the whole makeover montage in Princess Diaries. You should get contacts too.” You push your glasses up higher on your nose bridge. He’s joking but your chest constricts regardless. Johnny thinks you have the potential to be hot.

“Fuck you,” you say, your own laugh betraying the intended bite of your tone.

Johnny scoffs. “You wish.”

“Ew! Gross.”

“You’re blushing!” Johnny teases, and you jump off the swing in mid-air, giggling as you chase one another around the park like school children. 

Junior Year.

Johnny with the Eye Smile is your best friend and you love him, but you kind of hate him right now. Like, you want to punch him in the face and then kiss it better and then punch him again- the kind of hatred that makes your heart beat in your ears. But the hatred is fickle, a weak flame that dissipates as quickly as it flares up, as Johnny recounts his first kiss. He looks so giddy- an emotion you haven’t seen him wear often throughout the course of your friendship. 

Time escapes you and, before you know it, your junior year of highschool is coming to a close. Instead of being lost in summer’s wake, you’re confronted with its onslaught- the open-endedness of its impending descent…

You’re actually surprised it’s taken this long for Johnny to muster up the courage to kiss someone. There’s a long list of people you know for a fact would’ve loved to do so. Now, Johnny’s sitting on your bed, staring at the tapestries strewn to your ceiling, your room smelling of lavender and peeled oranges. You’re trying to tune him out, but his nervous hands demand your attention, fiddling fingers dancing across his abdomen like he’s playing the piano. You’ve never seen him like this. Not since the faintest blush graced his cheeks in the cafeteria on the day you met. And over a kite no less. This… this was serious. 

Johnny kissed someone. And it wasn’t you.

Johnny tsks. “I didn’t even think Olivia liked me-” he confesses.

“Wait. Olivia Wilson? From middle school? You kissed Olivia Wilson?”

“Why are you saying it like that?” Johnny asks with a furrow of his brow. Unbeknownst to you, you’re mirroring his confused expression.

“Saying it like what?”

He drags his hands over his face, sighing. “Like it’s hard to believe.” 

“No, I just meant… Olivia is…” you search for a word. Any word. “-cool.” She’s a blonde cheerleader who’s slated to be the class salutatorian at the very least, valedictorian if she really applies herself. She bakes cookies and keeps them in her car for when she encounters homeless people and tutors for kids free on the weekends. 

You hate her.

Your stomach lurches at the thought of her cradling Johnny’s face and you can almost smell her perfume- notes of licorice infiltrating your nostrils while you scrunch your nose. 

“Was it good? The kiss, I mean,” you practically wince out. 

“I think so,” Johnny says. “We, like, made out for a while. Then I drove her home and she kissed me again.”

“Wow.” What a lame thing to say, you think, but it’s the prevailing word at the front of your brain. Wow, Johnny really likes her. Wow, they’d look really good together. Wow, he kissed someone and it wasn’t you. 

“Yeah, wow.”

And you’re not sure what, but something green and molten bubbles up inside of you, uncontrollable and vicious, burning at the apex of your chest. “Well actually,” you start, prompting Johnny to look you in the eye, “I thought I saw her kissing Daniel Choi… the other week. After cheer practice.” A total lie that escapes you for whatever reason. “You know how athletics comes back to school a little earlier to train? I was, like, driving around and saw them, I think.”

His smile drops instantly. He believes you, because why wouldn’t he, and you want to take it all back. You want to say, “It’s a joke!” and hear that belly laugh of his, but the words never leave you. You just… can’t. 

It’s junior year, you reason with yourself. Nearly the summer before your senior year. You need him. You need this- whatever this is. 

“Wait, really?” Johnny asks. 

“She didn’t tell you?” you say, feigning shock. This is awful. You feel awful.

“No…” Johnny grows quiet. 

“It’s probably not serious,” you backtrack. “You know Daniel-”

“Whatever. Wanna drive around and listen to music?” Johnny grabs his keys in a rage before you can even answer.

You follow him out of your room wordlessly, a layer of sweat forming on your forehead, feeling relieved that you don’t have to talk about that God forsaken kiss anymore. The smell of licorice fades and instead you bask in Johnny’s musky vanilla. 

The illusion of serenity lasts one tortuous week.

“Hey, what the fuck, _______?” Johnny slams your locker shut in lieu of a greeting. The sound sends shockwaves through your body. 

The locker in front of which Johnny greets you everyday, eye-smile melting your heart a little more each time you see it. The locker inside which you’ve taped a polaroid of the two of you. The locker you two shared when Johnny forgot a sandwich in his and the stench of mold made it unusable. Your locker.

You lean against it, bracing for impact. Ready to double down. “What’s your problem?”

“My problem? Daniel said he’s never even spoken to Olivia, _______. She was gonna ask me to prom… I yelled at her last week.”

“I must’ve made a mistake, Johnny.” 

He fumes, nearly dry heaving as your words hit his ears. 

Then, softly, you say, “We can go to prom together.” You pick at the skin on your fingers, averting your gaze to anywhere but Johnny’s face- a tell of yours that Johnny knows all too well. In your periphery, you see he’s bright red.

“Are you seriously lying to me right now?”

“Johnny. You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah. So tell me the truth.”

Your voice is barely about a whisper. “Olivia isn’t even your type…”

“Goodbye, _________,” Johnny says, devoid of any levity or lightness. His eyes are impossibly dark. A part of you thinks he’ll turn around, or meet you on the swingset later that day. And you wait there, keep your bedroom window open and check your phone obsessively, but he never comes. 

Johnny goes to Senior prom with Olivia Wilson the following year. 

Beyond.

You’re older now, much wiser, and far away from teenagedom. In fact, your teen years are a distant memory, so far removed that only the best parts of them appear in your daydreams- a supercut of bliss and naivete… glittery and rosy. 

You’re teleported back to the swingset where you’d talk to Johnny until the moon came out. To the tree under which you saw him fly that poppy red kite. To the porch where you finally had your first kiss after falling out with Johnny. 

To the dining table where you’d share pancakes with your mother.

You’re home for the holidays, back in Chicago, and your house smells of cinnamon and vanilla. The nostalgia comes in vicious waves- choppy, foamy and salty. Tear stained cheeks on random afternoons. Then in gentle, comforting ones that lull you to sleep like a lullaby. 

Being back in town after graduating college makes your bones feel weird. The way you move around your home now is less intuitive. It’s more like walking through a museum, fingers aching to graze the artifacts of your youth. Photos faded with a thin layer of dust, participation ribbons from Little League, old school uniforms tucked away in boxes.

“Mom!” you call out to her from upstairs, “Do you think I still have my highschool yearbook here?”

“Yes, it’s with my scrapbooking supplies in the craft room.”

You practically bolt there, settling on the floor once you’ve located the blue book, flipping frantically until you find Johnny’s picture. 

Your best friend with the fluffy dandelion hair and soft demeanor. His senior photo is slightly faded from how often you used to thumb through the yearbook.

You remember loving him from a distance after that ill-fated day, the abruptness of the friendship’s end too much for you to handle. So you took the scraps. The wayward glances from Johnny, the check-ins from his mom, when he accidentally sent his graduation party invitation in the mail… The two of you co-existed, parallel to one another but never intersecting- in stark contrast to how intertwined you once were. Your chest aches at the memory.

“________, my love, can you come downstairs for a sec?” your mother calls distantly. You close the yearbook solemnly and make your way down. “Can you run to the grocery store for me?” she asks. “We’re out of eggs.”

“Yeah, sure.”

Shrugging on a coat and putting on another pair of socks, you prepare to brave the elements. You decide to take the train, so you can admire the winter wonderland outside. When you don’t think about how much of an inconvenience the snow is, it’s beautiful- the untouched banks on the side of the road, all pristine and crystalline. 

The mounds sparkle and crunch beneath you as your trod to the station, which luckily is a quick walk from your place. The city whips past you, a blur of sleek skyscrapers contrasted against graffiti buildings, and you’re at the bodega before you know it. 

Quickly, you locate the eggs, placing them in your basket, and scour the little corner store for a few more goodies. As you reach for a box of instant hot cocoa, you feel someone materialize next to you. The stasis of the store would have it seem this city’s a ghost town, though Chicago is far from one, but the person startles you regardless. You jump back a bit, muttering a half-hearted, “Excuse me,” before realizing you know him. There’s no way…

“Oh, sorry-” Johnny comes to the realization at the same time you do, retracting his hand from the box. 

Your hand is frozen in space, eyes scanning his form to make sure he’s real. His hair is short with blonde highlights and his glasses are massive, giving him a cartoonish look. His puffer jacket is also massive, all bundled up and pillowy like a marshmallow.

You smile to yourself briefly, before sputtering, “How long has it been?”

Without missing a beat, Johnny says, “Six years.” Has he been counting?

“You look like the Michelin Man with glasses,” you say.

Johnny chortles. “You got your braces off.”

“Am I finally hot?” you joke, “like in Princess Diaries?” 

And it’s probably from the cold, but you swear Johnny blushes as he shrugs and says, “Jury’s still out on that one.”

“Here,” you start, getting back to the task at hand, “lemme grab that for you.” You pick up two boxes of the hot cocoa mix and place them in your basket. 

“You don’t have to-” Johnny stammers, shaking his head.

“It’s the least I can do.” (-which is probably an understatement.) 

The two of you walk to the cash register where you buy both his and your items.

“Is this all you came out for?” you ask Johnny.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Clearing your throat, you force out your next question, the voice that squeaks out of you sounding foreign. “Where ya heading- if you don’t mind me asking, of course.”

“Nowhere fast. I drove here actually. What about you?”

“Train.”

“Cool…”  

Would you jump off a cliff if Johnny said you’d look super cool?

Johnny rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet, waiting for you to break the silence. You oblige him. “Well, it was nice seeing you Johnny. Happy holidays.” you start to walk in the opposite direction, until Johnny says-

“Actually- wanna go to the park?”

—

“This is soooo weird,” you chuckle as you swing back and forth, the nippy air feeling like a thousand cuts on your face. Your nostrils burn with each inhale, and the run-off of slightly melted snow trickles as it moves down the hill.

“Being back here?” Johnny’s voice is close, then distant, then close again, as he swings alongside (and much higher than) you.

“Yeah, it’s like I just stepped into a time machine.” And it’s true- you feel like that kid whispering about the new kid over pancakes. His fingertips are bright red.

“Except you were spying on me from your bedroom window,” Johnny scoffs.

You groan. “I explained a thousand times that I was just-”

“Just because you explain something, it doesn’t make it less creepy! And-”

“-making sure the kite didn’t get stuck in a tree.” you shout over his accusations, cheeks hurting from how hard you’re smiling.

Johnny shakes his head, heaving from his laughter. “Your ‘explanation’ is total bullshit, by the way.” 

You sigh. “Guess I’m never living that down.”

When the both of you settle, sitting on the swings instead of kicking back and forth, you take a moment to drink up Johnny’s features. He’s even taller, somehow, lankiness morphed into dashing height. Awkwardness morphed into a charming stride. Eye-smile morphed into a blinding grin.

Your mind is racing. You have so much you want to say to him. So much to ask. Six years… where does the time go?

“You’ll never guess who I had my first kiss with in Ju” you giggle at yourself because, of all things, you can’t believe that’s what you decide on. Regardless, it’s a funny story. 

Again, Johnny scoffs. “Daniel Choi, right?”

“Wait, who told you that!?”

“He was bragging about it for three weeks. I nearly punched the guy.”

The two of you weren’t even friends at that point.

“You’re ridiculous!”

More silence falls over you, draping itself densely over your shoulders- stasis from how sheerly overwhelmed you are at the words on the tip of your tongue. You feel Johnny’s anxiety too, it radiating in waves off of him, but it’s not awkward. The two of you wade in the stillness, slight movements yanking on the bars of their metaphorical enclosure. Your sniffling, twitching nose. Fidgeting fingers. Johnny’s bouncing knees and pounding heart.

That is, until the silence is no more- Johnny just barely breaching it by saying, “It should’ve been me. I should’ve kissed you.” 

Then he stands before you, grasping the swing chains just above where you’re holding them and effectively envelopes you in his warmth. Johnny’s proximity makes you shudder and you look up at him, eyes as bright as they were when he was younger.

“I could’ve been.” Then, in a hushed voice, you add, “It can be.”

Then, as he grasps your face with his ice cold hands, Johnny places a kiss on the corner of your mouth. You giggle into it, the clunkiness and trepidation, then recapture his lips in a real kiss. This kiss is all encompassing, your entire face ablaze while you deepen it, your lips yearning for and experiencing lost time in a confusing clamoring. You’re practically clawing at Johnny up until the point of you pulling away for air.

Johnny scans your face, smirking at the way you’re panting. “You are kinda hot without the braces,” he says.

“You’re actually the worst.”

And, yet again, he shrugs. “Okay, but you love it though.”

“I guess…”

As you lean in for another kiss, you hear a scream. When you whip your head around, you giggle at the sight:

A kiddo on the other side of the playground flying a poppy red kite in the dead of winter.

a/n: unedited and feedback is always appreciated! <3

[jeridandridge]

New Years with the Flyers

Melissa Schemmenti loves Christmas. From her tradition of dinner with Barbra at Abbott on the last day before break to her cousins Vinny and Tommy putting each other in headlocks before desert is served on Christmas Eve, she loves Christmas.

“Mel, I don’t think we have room for any more,” you chuckle from the couch watching your girlfriend try to put another student made ornament on the packed tree amidst all the others that hold memories.

“I can make it fit, hon.”

A couple weeks later while Melissa locks herself away in her bedroom to wrap presents, you take her weak threat of staying put downstairs to good use and finally pull the trigger on her big present for the year. One of your first dates two years ago was a Flyers game, and you love how excited Melissa gets when it comes to her sports teams. Pulling out your debit card you type away on your laptop with a smirk.

Upstairs, Melissa sits on your shared bed with a black velvet box in her palm and a smile on her lips. It didn’t take her long to decide to buy a ring like she thought it would. She wasn’t guarded or scared with you, she had no reason to be. She wanted to be with you forever, and she would ask you right after the new year because Schemmenti’s aren’t THAT cliche she reasons.

On Christmas morning you hum contently across your girlfriend, admiring her flannel pajamas and make up free face as she opens the last present from you.

“What could this be?” She teases shaking the thin box wrapped beautifully.

“Rip it open!” You laugh.

Tearing the paper away Melissa opens up the shirt box to a brand new Flyers jersey.

“Amore! This is the real deal!” She lights up like a little kid making you grin.

“Flip it around.”

Turning the jersey over Melissa gasps seeing the name of her favorite current player.

“Konecny! Oh, hon. This is the best present. Thank you.” She beams leaning forward to kiss you softly.

Smiling you rest your hand on her knee. “You might wanna take another look in the box, babe.”

Looking down in the tissue paper of the box, Melissa gasps picking up two tickets.

“The New Year’s Eve game?! 6 rows up!” She lunges forward wrapping her arms around you. That’s when it hits her.

“I knew that’d be a good pick.” You laugh gently squeezing her.

“Thank you, Amore.” She smiles pulling you in to another kiss.

On New Year’s Eve Philly is buzzing. People are bar crawling, visiting restaurants, and headed to the flyers game. While you two walk hand in hand through the concourse Melissa has a nervous flutter in her stomach as the ring box sits in her pocket, relieved that her New Jersey comes down far enough to hide it.

Seated with a bucket of popcorn and a beer you beam watching Melissa’s eyes light up as she takes it all in. “Youre so pretty, Mel.”

“Shush,” she teases gently squeezing your leg. You had no idea what was to come.

As the game goes on, the crowd is electric as the Flyers lead 3-1 in the second period. Cheering with the crowd and making friends with the people sat around you, your head snaps up when you hear your name, Melissa pointing to the lit up screen of the jumbo tron seeing the camera on the two of you, and 4 important words underneath.

“Melissa Schemmenti has an important question!” The announcer booms,

You’re at a loss for words, gaping at your girlfriend you see an engagement ring in her hand. “Seriously?!” You beam. “Yes!”

The crowd and your new friends around you whoop and cheer as you two are shown on the screen with a big pink heart around you.

Melissa laughs slipping the beautiful diamond on your finger before you lunge forward just like she did on Christmas morning, laughing into her hair you sniffle trying not to cry.

“Next rounds on me!” One of the guys sat behind you yells, causing Melissa to laugh.

Pulling back you keep your arms around her with a ridiculous smile on your face.

“You know a guy don’t you, Schemmenti?”

Melissa laughs leaning in to peck your lips.

“Yeah, I know a guy.”

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 20)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, john.marino97, and 435,722 others

y/ndevils00 we lost.

well…we won.

but we lost.

we won 5-4 against the orange and blue fucks, but my best friends conspired against me and went against my explicit wishes and CUT THEIR HAIR.

@/dawson1416 @/john.marino97 I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME, ASSHATS!

don’t worry, dawson was jailed for his crime against me

anyways 😒

we racked up 5 goals tonight to secure our second win in a row for the first time this month! including goals from traitor number 1, captain slut, uncle lizard and my beautiful baby angel doll face, Jacky!!

i’m so proud of my boys for not losing their confidence and coming together to win another game!

and special shoutout to my great uncle lizard, who got us our game winning goal with TWENTY-SEVEN SECONDS LEFT! i truly thought we would be going to overtime and i would be out past my bedtime, but no! because Laser’s got my back! thank you, king!

p.s. if you saw, or if you didn’t see, my lovely boyfriend was the first star tonight! and with being first star, means doing an interview! tonight, i bet my sweet boy $20 that he wouldn’t call our wonderful captain a whore in his interview— and although i didn’t think he would… he took that bet! AND took it a step further by saying, and i quote, “Nico’s our whore.” oh how i love this man! sorry, i wasn’t aware that you were chill like that @/jackhughes . enjoy your newfound $20, my love! it came from your wallet last week!

p.p.s. Mathew Barzal, you bald headed bitch, stay away from my goal net and my boys

tagged john.marino97, dawson1417, jackhughes, nicohischier, and curtislazar95

Load more comments

jackhughes when the hell did you take 20 dollars from my wallet?

y/ndevils00 remember when you were sleeping last week?

jackhughes i can’t say that i do because i sleep every night

y/ndevils00 yeah, lame. well, it was then

jackhughes you know i’d give it to you if you just ask?

y/ndevils00 yeah, so why ask?

lhughes_06 can’t argue with that logic, Jacky

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 i’m not appreciating this new thing where you two gang up on me

lhughes_06 oh really? cause i’m having a blast!

y/ndevils00 me too!

jackhughes yeah, i’m sure you guys are 🫥

trevorzegras remember dude, you chose this life

y/ndevils00 it’s a sad day when even @/trevorzegras understands

trevorzegras what have i done to you?!

y/ndevils00 @/trevorzegras breathe.

lhughes_06 @/trevorzegras bro, her answer is never gonna change. just accept it

y/ndevils00 @/lhughes_06 Lukey, you are my bestest friend in the world

john.marino97 hello?? right here!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 shut up! bald men don’t get to speak!

curtislazar95 i got a special shoutout! you’re welcome, niece!!

y/ndevils00 of course you did! because you did great things!

dawson1417 i did great things too!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 did you? did you, really? 😑

jackhughes @/dawson1417 the answer is no, dude. just say no

dawson1417 … no

user63 THEIR HAIR! THEIR BEAUTIFUL HAIR!

dawson1417 John made me do it!

y/ndevils00 that must be it because i know YOU would never defy my wishes

john.marino97 you liar! i didn’t “make” you do anything!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 i trust nothing that comes out of your mouth

john.marino97 well then it’s a good thing that didn’t come out of my mouth. it was typed with my thumbs

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 next game, you will be jailed for your crimes AND your sass

dawson1417 @/john.marino97 😝

tofff73 why does Lazar get to be king and i’m queen?

y/ndevils00 because you give queen energy? what kind of question is that?

tofff73 you’re right, that was so silly of me

y/ndevils00 it’s okay! you were just feeling silly goofy! i forgive you!

nicohischier i thought he said horse

y/ndevils00 oh you sweet beautiful slut,, what sense would horse have made?

nicohischier makes more sense than calling me a whore

y/ndevils00 in what world?

nicohischier all of them?!

y/ndevils00 i do not believe you

nicohischier fine, yeah, whatever, i’m a whore

y/ndevils00 AH ACCEPTANCE! YOU FINALLY HIT THE FINAL STAGE OF GRIEF

nicohischier and what exactly was i grieving?

y/ndevils00 a normal life <3

nicohischier oh yeah, you ended any chances of that as soon as i met you

user02 2 wins in a row… are we… back?

user94 I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT JACK SAID BUT I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT

john.marino97 does it really look bad?

y/ndevils00 do you want me to be nice or honest?

john.marino97 i can’t believe i’m saying this, but honest

y/ndevils00 it looks great. i just miss your curls!

john.marino97 they’ll grow back, i promise!

y/ndevils00 but how can you know?!

john.marino97 it’s MY hair??

[makethatelevenrings]

Breakfast for Three // J. Todd x f!reader

Requested? Yes!

Warnings: reader has a kid, swearing, talks of poverty (if u haven’t been able to figure out, I am a leftist and I am tucking my lil handkerchief into my collar and preparing to eat billionaires)

Summary: Being a single parent is hard. Being a single parent in Gotham feels impossible sometimes. Two people change things for the better. 

Listen, raising a child on your own was a test on its own. But being a single parent in Gotham? You had to be absolutely out of your mind.

But you loved your kid. You wouldn’t go back and change your decision. Every morning, you woke up to the giggles and shrieks of your four year old climbing all over you. Lucy was always up before your alarm and while you needed every minute of sleep, you would miss these moments whenever she became too cool to hang out with her mother. So you just bundled her wriggling body up into your arms and peppered her head with kisses as she laughed and wrapped her little octopus limbs around you.

Breakfast had moved from a coffee and a granola bar as you rushed out the door to work to Bluey pancakes for Lucy and even more coffee for you before you rushed out the door to get her to preschool and you to work. Every day felt like it was flying by too quickly.

Her birthday was quickly approaching and that’s how you found yourself out on the fire escape of your apartment with the baby monitor clutched between your hands and sobs escaping you despite your best efforts to stifle your cries.

You couldn’t afford any of the popular toys or games that kids were obsessed with. Hell, you could barely afford rent this month. Living in Gotham wasn’t as bad as other places in terms of rent but raising a kid was expensive and you were struggling to make ends meet thanks to work being slow. God, she was going to be so disappointed. Maybe you could start eating only one meal a day? That would save some money on groceries…

“Are you okay?”

The voice came from the shadows and the subsequent heart attack you received practically launched you into the air. The person cursed and then stepped out of the shadows. Okay, less scary but still pretty fucking terrifying. Red Hood stared down at you, or at least, you thought he was looking at you. The helmet made it difficult to figure out what direction he was facing.

“I said, are you okay?” he repeated in a gruff, no-nonsense voice. You nodded quickly and swiped away your tears with the back of your hand.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Don’t you have skulls to bash in or something?”

A huff of laughter escaped the vigilante’s helmet and you cocked your head to the side. He could laugh? He was capable of humor? Surprises were all around tonight.

“Already did that. And then I heard someone sounding like they just watched Marley and Me three times in a row and figured I should come check.” He eased himself into a crouch next to you and you admired how large and imposing he was yet he didn’t seem terrifying when he was next to you. You weren’t his target so there was no reason to fear him.

“Gonna tell me what’s wrong?” he asked.

“It’s stupid,” you muttered. You turned your attention back to the baby monitor to see Lucy fast asleep in your bed. The one bedroom apartment you rented didn’t have space for another bed so the two of you shared one. Luckily, she was a deep sleeper so she never stirred when you crawled in a few hours after her bedtime and got up early in the morning to get ready for the day.

“Nothing that makes you cry is stupid,” Red Hood retorted. “Hit me with it.”

“My kid’s birthday is coming up and I don’t have the funds to pay for anything. I can barely keep our heating on. She’s going to hate her birthday and I’ll have ruined it forever. I’m already working sixty hours a week, but I can’t ask Mrs. Hayes to watch her longer. Fuck.” You scrubbed a hand down your face and bemoaned your rotten fucking luck. Fuck your shitbag ex. Fuck the system that prevented single parents from succeeding. Fuck it all.

Rustling beside you made you look up to find Red Hood rummaging through his pockets. He let out a triumphant hum and then outstretched his hand. A stack of bills rested in his gloved palm and your eyes widened at the offering.

“Absolutely not,” you blurted out. “I’m not taking blood money from you. Who knows where that’s come from? And what if you show up in five years demanding the money back with some huge fucking interest rate?”

He chuffed out another laugh. “Christ, your mind is an interesting place. It’s legit, I promise. And it’s not a loan. It’s a gift. Take it. I’ve got enough cash.”

You watched him warily as you reached out and grasped the money. Your lips moved as you counted out the values silently and inhaled sharply once you got to the end. Three thousand dollars. That would pay rent for two months, leaving your paycheck to cushion you.

“Holy shit. Thank you. Thank you so much,” you gasped. But when you looked up, there was no sight of Red Hood. He had simply disappeared into the shadows once again. Only the rough paper of cash in your hands made you realize that it wasn’t a dream.

You spent the rest of the night going over your finances and figuring out where you could use the cash and how much you could spend on Lucy. With enough to bolster you for a bit, you decided to take her by a bakery on her way to pre-school. With her dinosaur backpack firmly settled on her back, Lucy bounded towards the bakery with you hot on her heels. Where the hell did she get all this energy?

“Woah,” a man exclaimed as Lucy tripped on a raised edge of the sidewalk. He caught her before she went sprawling onto the pavement, saving you from a torrent of tears and skinned knees.

“Gotta be careful there, kiddo,” he said as he righted her. You caught up to her finally and kneeled down to check her for injuries. Unscathed, thanks to the stranger. You raised your head to meet his eyes and thank him and found yourself captured by searing teal eyes.

“Thank you,” you blurted out. “I should really get her one of those backpack leashes.”

His full lips curled up into a grin and your heart stuttered at the sight of it. Small scars littered his tan skin, but it only added to the handsome rogue look he had going for him.

“I get it. The cinnamon rolls at this place are fu-” His eyes darted towards the squirming child in your hands. “Freaking amazing. I practically run here every morning to get one.”

Lucy gasped. “You like cinnamon rolls?”

The man shrugged. “Well, yeah, who doesn’t?”

“Sad people,” she replied wisely. You burst into laughter at the solemnity of her words and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“I love you, kid,” you announced.

“Love you too, mommy. Can we go now?”

You stood up to your full height and the man did the same, but he was much taller than you. He offered his hand and you shook it.

“I’m Jason. How about I buy you two breakfast?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do it. If anything, I owe you.”

His smile grew and you marveled at the slight dimple in his chin. “Yeah, but this way I can be a gentleman before I ask you out.”

There was no way this exceedingly handsome, Adonis-like man was asking you on a date. No fucking way. You had toothpaste on your shirt and a four year old currently clinging to your leg. No man had even looked at you since your ex knocked you up and left.

But he was kind and genuine and there was some kind of soft emotion in his eyes that made you want to ask him how the world had hurt him. And Lucy seemed to like him from just their first meeting.

“Okay. Breakfast sounds nice.”

If only you knew how a simple breakfast would change your life forever.

tag list: @mcrmarvelloki​ @gone-batty-fics​ @someoneimsure​ @perpetual-fangirl900​ @visagebrise​ @cursedandromedablack​ @alexxavicry​ @the-wayward-daughter​ @raging-trash-of-mind​ @kat-nee​ @khaylin27​ @igotanidea​ @princessbl0ss0m​

[steddieas-shegoes]

Chapter 6

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5

“Oh would you look who decided to acknowledge I exist?”

Steve didn’t hold back his eye roll at Robin’s words since she couldn’t see him. He’d decided to call her on the walk to his car after work, just to update her on things and make sure she was okay if he wasn’t home right after work.

“We just saw each other yesterday.”

“More than 24 hours ago, Steve.”

“We are two separate humans, Robin.”

“But only one brain. Look at you separating a whole brain. This is why I couldn’t concentrate today. You took it with you.”

“Are you done?” Steve sighed. “If you’re done, I need to talk to my best friend.”

“What’s wrong?” Robin’s tone went from slightly annoyed to concerned, which meant she’d never actually been that annoyed to begin with.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home late.”

Please don’t ask, please just accept it, don’t ask, don’t ask.

“Why?”

Fuck.

“Just stopping by Eddie’s for a bit.”

He was met with complete silence. He pulled his phone away to make sure the call hadn’t been dropped. It hadn’t.

“Robs?”

“Steve. I’m saying this because I love you.” Oh boy, here we go. “I’m worried.”

“There’s nothing to worry about. I’m just hanging out for a bit and then coming home.”

“You’ve practically lived with him since Saturday!”

“Okay, just because I slept over…”

“Twice! In a row!”

“It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Uh huh. It doesn’t mean anything except you have barely been home and you literally went to subspace and dropped and probably subspace again with this stranger who did one nice tattoo and suddenly you’re ready to fly to Vegas and forget me!”

Ah. Steve let himself feel guilty for a moment before he remembered her insistence just a few weeks before that he needed to find other friends besides her, be social, maybe find a boyfriend.

Well, now he was doing some of that and she had a problem?

“I’m just enjoying my time with someone new. This is what you’ve wanted me to do forever, right?”

“Not like this!”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’m not following your rules for my friendships.”

“This isn’t a friendship, this is some weird sexual situation that’s gonna end up messy and you’re gonna end up hurt. It’ll be Nancy all over again.”

That hurt. Robin had been the one to get him through the Nancy heartbreak, always offering whatever support he needed while he worked through his disappointment that turned into an identity crisis that turned into a bit of a change of personality. She never judged him for his response to it. She was the perfect friend.

Having her throw it at him like this left a sour taste in his mouth and a hollowness in his chest.

She’d never spoken to him like this, not even when they got into stupid little arguments about cleaning the common areas of the apartment that sometimes escalated more than they should. This felt like she was jealous and taking it out on him.

Jealous of what though? She never seemed interested in having an actual relationship, and she was out all the time, leaving him to fend for himself in their apartment.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Steve.”

“Yeah, well. I appreciate the concern.”

Steve hung up. It wasn’t the mature thing to do, he knew that. But he was hurt, and he didn’t want to make things worse by letting the hurt out on her. He would talk to her when he got back home.

They were best friends, platonic soulmates. They’d get past this.

But for now, Steve turned his notifications off on his phone, got in his car, and drove to Eddie’s house.

– - – – – –

He made it inside with no issues, putting the key back under the mat once the front door was unlocked.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket once he was inside, ignoring the many texts from Robin to send a quick text to Eddie.

Made it home. Gonna make spaghetti. That okay?

He was looking around the kitchen to find all of the things he’d need when his phone started buzzing.

Eddie was calling.

“Hey, thought you’d be with the client.”

“I am, but it’s a friend. She’s taking a break. How was the rest of your day?”

Steve didn’t want him to know about his fight with Robin, not when most of it revolved around how quickly he was becoming attached to him.

“It was fine. Um, spaghetti’s okay? I just figured you probably had stuff for it.”

Eddie didn’t immediately respond, and Steve tried not to let himself worry.

“Spaghetti’s perfect. What happened, sunshine?”

How did he know? Steve was notorious for hiding his feelings from people, he’d been a champion for most of his life out of self-preservation.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” Steve was putting everything into being convincing.

Eddie was at work, he didn’t need to deal with Steve’s problems.

“Stevie, did something upset you? Do you need me to come home?”

God, of course he would offer to hurry back. He was so nice and Steve didn’t deserve it.

“Steve. I will leave right now and come back, just say the word.”

“No, no. I’m okay. Just had an argument with Robin. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry, sunshine. What will help?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t think he could really talk about it right now. He didn’t want Eddie to feel like he had to talk him through it when he was with a client.

He started to feel worse.

“I think maybe I should head back early tonight. Make sure I see her before she goes to bed.”

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll be done here in an hour. You don’t have to cook anything, I’ll just grab us something on the way.”

“No. It’ll keep me busy. Can I cook please?”

He didn’t mean to sound so whiny, or practically beg, but it must have worked because Eddie gave in.

“If you really want to, you can cook. But I want you to go change into my clothes first, okay?”

Thank God Eddie couldn’t see the redness of his cheeks spreading down his neck.

“Okay. Can I wear your hoodie?”

He knew it would smell like him, and he knew it was soft, and he knew it would make him feel a million times better.

“Yeah, sweetheart. It’s on the bed. I’ll text you when I leave here, but call me if you need me before that.”

“I will.”

“Good boy. See you soon, sunshine.”

Steve felt warmer, lighter, more like he could handle the feelings Robin brought up. He knew if he could feel like this for a little bit, he could easily handle whatever conversation they’d have when he got home.

— — — — — —

Steve was so focused on the sauce he was making, he didn’t hear the front door open or footsteps come through the living room and into the kitchen or Eddie walking up behind him.

He felt strong arms wrap around his chest from behind, a soft kiss placed on his temple.

He leaned back against the warmth of Eddie, the calm he exuded taking over the whole kitchen.

“Welcome home, Eds.”

“Mm. Could get used to that,” Eddie said as he kissed Steve’s cheek, then his jaw, his neck.

Steve was doing his best to stay focused. He was cooking dinner, right.

He started to lean forward, but Eddie pulled him back again.

“Babe, I have to cook,” Steve giggled.

“Not done,” Eddie said against his neck, teeth barely scraping against Steve’s pulse point and causing him to let out a moan.

“I don’t.” Kiss. “Want this.” Kiss. “To.” Tongue.

Fuck.

“You keep cooking, sunshine. I’m just gonna enjoy my appetizer.”

“But I made garlic bread,” Steve pouted, pulling away as much as Eddie would let him. “For an appetizer.”

Eddie pulled away and looked at Steve, blinking at him as if he were confused.

Then he broke out in a huge smile.

“You’re trouble, sunshine.”

And to Steve, that sounded like he was saying something entirely different.

— — — — — — —

They didn’t talk about Robin.

Steve put their food on plates while Eddie grabbed some beers from the fridge.

It was very domestic. Comfortable. Nice.

Eddie insisted on sitting right next to Steve, one hand on his thigh for the entire dinner. His thumb was rubbing back and forth, his fingers sometimes drew designs on his knee, and he tapped rhythms into his skin until it felt like Steve was part of the song.

It was easy.

They talked about their days. Steve gave him the full play-by-play of his meeting with Will and Eddie kissed his cheek when he was done and told him how happy he was that Will liked it.

Eddie told him about his appointment, Chrissy, who he’d been good friends with since high school. He’d shown her that tattooing was a way to love her body when she’d been diagnosed with an eating disorder. He promised her he’d do any tattoo she wanted for free if she went through the intensive rehab and therapy process, and four months later, she came by his shop and became his favorite client on top of one of his best friends.

Steve leaned his head on Eddie’s shoulder as he spoke, smiling to himself as he realized that Eddie was just a caring person.

He cared about everyone in his life in a way that Steve had not been familiar with before Robin.

He cared the way Steve cared, and he made Steve want to show it more.

He made Steve want to be bright in a way he’d never wanted to be before.

Eddie made him feel like he could shine.

He felt the impending rain cloud of leaving his side, though. Facing Robin would be a storm he didn’t want to weather tonight, feeling a bit overwhelmed already from his day of emotions.

It had started so good. It felt good right now.

“You got quiet on me, sunshine. What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours?”

A lot. So much. He didn’t know how to answer without putting everything on the table, and he knew he couldn’t do that right now. He didn’t want to cry either and that was getting more likely the more tired he got.

“Just thinking.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Anywhere you want is fine with me, sweetheart.”

Steve could tell him a little. Maybe talk about how much he wanted to stay by Eddie’s side. Or how he didn’t know how he was already so attached, but the thought of not having Eddie around was already devastating.

How much he could love him if he was given the chance.

“I’m scared that Robin’s right.”

Well, that’ll spark a conversation he didn’t want to have.

Nice job, idiot. You’re gonna end up spilling your secrets.

“Right about what?”

Eddie’s arm was now wrapped around Steve’s shoulder, hand resting against his arm where his fingers were tracing designs that Steve would tattoo on his skin.

“She said this is gonna end bad. I’ll get hurt. She didn’t want me to come tonight.”

Yeah, that’s not giving too much away.

Eddie’s fingers froze against his arm.

“She thinks I’d hurt you?”

“I guess.”

And a part of Steve believed it too. That was part of why he felt so shitty. Eddie already held the power to hurt him and he didn’t even realize it.

“Stevie, look at me for a minute.”

Steve pulled away, letting Eddie’s arm fall, but quickly finding his hand to lace their fingers together for extra comfort.

“I know this is gonna sound crazy, and it’s okay if you don’t wanna stick around after, but,” Eddie’s eyes were shining. Was he going to cry? “I’ve never felt like this with anyone. I’ve never wanted to spend every moment with someone before you. I missed you so much today, it was like I was being torn in half. I know it’s crazy. I know. But you’re important to me. I don’t know what will happen, I don’t know what you want, I just know that I wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt you.”

Steve could feel his lip quivering. He knew he had tears in his eyes.

He was in deep and the only way out was through.

“I don’t know how to explain how much being around you has changed me. Just in the last two days I’ve felt like someone I didn’t even know I could be. Robin’s worried because,” Steve took a deep, steadying breath. He had to be honest. Eddie deserved it. “I jump into things quickly. I’ve always been like that. I commit hard and fast and I end up hurt every time. She was around for the worst one with my ex-girlfriend. She’s worried this will be like that and thinks you’re just using me for the sexual aspect of it. Well, she thinks we’re using each other, I think. And maybe if you were different, I would be. I’m not always a great guy. But it’s just that you’re you. You’re the kind of person who will always get the best me because you deserve someone who makes you feel the way you make other people feel.”

The words just didn’t stop coming.

Steve would’ve been more nervous about it if he wasn’t watching the fondness seep out of Eddie’s pores.

His every movement revolved around Steve’s own, his touches gentle and electric.

His hand was cupping the side of Steve’s neck, his eyes staring into Steve’s soul, even though he’d just laid it out on the table in front of them.

“You deserve to be the best you because it makes you feel good. But if I can help you find that, then I’m all yours, sunshine. As long as you want me.”

Steve leaned forward, resting his forehead against Eddie’s.

He closed his eyes.

His phone started ringing.

He planned to ignore it. He knew it was Robin and he wasn’t quite ready to face her yet.

But he knew if he didn’t answer, she’d worry. Maybe dramatically call 911 to do a wellness check.

He didn’t want to put Eddie through all that.

He grabbed his phone and answered, letting his head rest against Eddie’s chest.

“Yeah?”

“Steve. Listen. I’m sorry about earlier, okay? I didn’t mean that. I’m just worried about you. I want you to have someone who makes you happy, but I want you to be safe and-“

“Robs, I know. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Eddie’s hands were moving up and down his back slowly, adding pressure to his shoulders where he was most tense.

“Are you gonna be home soon?”

Steve resisted saying that he was home.

He realized he’d said it twice to Eddie; This felt like home. He’d never really had somewhere that felt like home. Even with Robin, he knew they were roommates because neither of them could afford rent on their own.

But here, he felt like he could safely recharge, relax, be himself, float away and find his way back. And he could do it all with Eddie.

“Yeah. I’ll head out soon.”

Robin was silent as Eddie started playing with the hem of Steve’s shirt.

“You could just stay. If you wanted. I mean I have your location and you’ll text me in the morning so I know you’re alive.”

Steve considered that this might be a test, that Robin was seeing if he’d give in easily and not explain anything else.

But Robin isn’t the type of friend to test him like that. She was never anything but honest and straightforward, never would expect him to make a choice like that to win her love. That’s just not who she was.

“I could stay tonight.”

Steve looked up at Eddie, who was smiling and nodding down at him, hands never stopping their comforting movements on his back.

“I’m gonna stay tonight.” Steve smiled into the phone as if Robin was able to see. “But tomorrow, I’m coming home after work and we’re having a long talk. We’re gonna order pizza and we’re gonna drink enough cheap wine to have the worst hangover ever on Wednesday morning. Okay?”

Robin let out a quiet chuckle. Good. Laughter is good.

“Okay, dingus. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You got it, Robs.”

When Steve hung up the phone, Eddie pulled him tight against his chest, letting Steve find his place with his nose against his collarbone.

He breathed in his scent, smiling to himself at how quickly he relaxed into it.

“Sounds like things went well.”

“Mhm. Things’ll be good.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head.

“Let me clean up the dishes and then we can go to bed.”

“No, wanna stay here.”

“Here, in this chair?” Eddie snorted. “I don’t think either of us actually want that, sunshine.”

“Don’t wanna move.”

“How about I carry you?”

“Yes, please.”

For some reason, Steve didn’t exactly expect him to actually lift him in his arms and carry him. But he did.

He had him in his arms like he was a new bride being carried over the threshold, and Steve was blushing from his head to his toes.

Steve looked up at his face, taking in the way Eddie had a near-constant smirk when he was doing things like this. Like he was having fun and liked doing it.

Eddie dropped him in bed, laughing at the ‘oof’ Steve let out from the impact of hitting the mattress and pillows.

He stared down at Steve with that soft look he gave him before. Like Steve was actually making his life brighter, like it was a beautiful thing to have and know Steve.

No one has ever looked at him like that.

“Stevie.”

“Hm?”

“I really want to kiss you.”

Steve gulped.

“I really want you to kiss me.”

Eddie didn’t question it or wait, and his wet lips were against his with a passion Steve had never experienced in his life.

He forgot about everything except the way Eddie’s lips fit perfectly against his, slowly opening his own up so he could lick into his mouth.

He ran his tongue along Steve’s bottom lip, smiling into the kiss when Steve let out a loud moan.

Eddie’s hand was in his hair, tugging on the ends just enough to keep Steve present as his other hand ghosted down his side and squeezed his hip.

Steve could stay just like this forever and it wouldn’t be long enough.

He’d never have enough of Eddie touching him, kissing him, caring for him.

He wanted it always.

He let out another moan when Eddie’s teeth bit down on his bottom lip, sucking it between his teeth and lips like he was trying to eat him.

Steve would let him.

But just when he thought he was going to stay like this all night, Eddie pulled away, nipping at his bottom lip one more time before he separated from him completely and stood up.

“Gonna go clean up. Be a good boy for me and stay right here. No touching yourself.”

Steve hadn’t really thought about doing so until he watched Eddie walk away and glanced down to see that he was hard. Incredibly so.

Suddenly, his only focus was on getting relief from how hard he was. How had he gotten there from a kiss?

It was like every touch from Eddie was equal to 1000 touches from anyone else. If Eddie touched his cock, he was done for. He’d embarrass himself beyond belief.

Maybe if Steve didn’t think about it, it would go away and it’d be fine.

Maybe he could just give himself a little touch. Eddie wouldn’t know. It’s not like he was watching.

But Eddie said not to.

Steve had to listen to Eddie.

He could distantly hear Eddie washing dishes in the kitchen, dishes clanking around while the water ran from the faucet.

He could feel the heat of the sweatpants and hoodie he was wearing, causing him to break out in a sweat.

Eddie didn’t say he couldn’t take his clothes off. He just said he couldn’t touch himself.

So Steve removed the hoodie and sweatpants in record time, unable to focus on anything except the cool sheets under him and the hard length nearly poking out of his boxers.

He hoped Eddie would touch him when he got back. He couldn’t sleep like this.

Too on edge, too close to falling the wrong way off the cliff.

He didn’t even register when Eddie entered the room again, his thoughts stuck on how good it would feel to have Eddie’s hands on him again.

Then Eddie’s hands were on him again. They were cupping his cheeks and forcing him to make eye contact with him.

Eddie was shirtless already, straddling his lap.

Steve didn’t care how he got there, just that he was.

He couldn’t help the whine he let out when Eddie’s cock brushed against his.

Oh, he wasn’t wearing pants either.

Steve hoped this was going where he wanted it to.

“You look so beautiful like this, sweet thing. Like I could eat you right up,” Eddie said before leaning in to leave a trail of kisses down his neck.

He paused right where Steve knew his freckles were and let out a small laugh against his skin.

“These are the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

Steve whined. He needed Eddie to kiss them, kiss him, kiss anywhere. He needed his lips on him every second of every day.

As if he could read his mind, Eddie gently kissed his freckles. Steve could feel his smile against his skin.

“Please kiss me,” he let out, needy whimper following his words.

“Am kissing you, sweet thing.”

And he was. Technically. But Steve needed to taste him again, needed their mouths connected so he could feel his breath in his own lungs, taking and giving oxygen Steve so desperately wanted to give and receive.

“Need you, please,” Steve added, as if that would make Eddie do anything else. “Please, please.”

Begging was not what he thought would happen tonight, but his mouth no longer had a filter as he felt Eddie’s hips roll against him.

The friction was almost too much.

Steve was going to cum. Right there in his boxers after barely making out and like, two barely there touches against his cock.

“Love hearing you beg,” Eddie said as he trailed his lips and tongue and teeth down Steve’s chest. He licked at one of his nipples, blowing cold air on it after. Steve shivered, but not from the cold.

“Feels so good,” Steve managed to get out.

He could tell he was becoming more incoherent, his moans getting louder despite Eddie hardly doing anything at all to him. He’d be embarrassed if he didn’t know how hard Eddie was above him.

Suddenly, Eddie’s lips were back on his own. He sighed into it, relief at being given what he wanted letting him relax further into the bed.

The relief only lasted for a moment, though.

Eddie was pulling away and laying down next to Steve.

No.

“No,” Steve said, turning his head to pout at him. “More.”

Eddie raised his eyebrows at him.

“That doesn’t sound very polite, Stevie. I can’t give you what you want if you don’t ask nicely,” Eddie sounded bored. Was he bored?

No, he wouldn’t have gone from interest to bored that quickly. Would he?

“Here’s what’s gonna happen. You listening?”

“Mhm.”

“Good boy. You’re gonna get on my lap and you’re gonna get yourself off. No hands.” Steve was already moving, but Eddie put his hand on his chest to hold him still. “No boxers. You use your safe word if it gets too much.”

Steve didn’t know how this could be too much, but he was too far gone to do anything but agree.

“Okay.”

Eddie removed his hand and didn’t stop Steve this time when he got up and straddled Eddie’s thighs, the reverse position they’d been in before giving Steve a head rush. He helped push Steve’s boxers off, holding him steady when his legs nearly gave out when he kicked them off.

Eddie didn’t touch him at first, letting Steve find the position that worked best for him and watching as he tried to find the perfect level of contact.

He couldn’t though.

“Oh, sweet thing, you can’t get it right can you?”

Steve whined and shook his head, feeling tears of frustration building behind his eyes.

“You want me to help you?”

“Please, yes, help,” Steve got out between pants.

Eddie’s hands were on his hips, warmth spreading from the place they touched Steve’s skin throughout his body. His grip was strong, nearly leaving fingerprint bruises in his skin. Steve wished he would.

“More.”

“More what?”

“Fingers. Harder.”

Finding the right words was hard. Steve was doing all he could to keep his eyes locked on Eddie’s face, vision going a bit blurry from the cloudiness in his head.

Eddie understood though.

His fingers gripped harder, and Steve knew he’d be done for soon regardless of the friction on his cock.

“You want help getting started, sweet thing?”

“Mhm. Mmm,” Steve was incoherent. He knew it, but he couldn’t do anything but let Eddie have full control.

Eddie used his strong grip to move Steve’s hips back and forth a few times, the feeling of Steve’s bare cock against Eddie’s clothed one nearly enough to send him over the edge right away.

He was moaning uncontrollably.

“I’m not doing it all for you,” Eddie said, letting go of Steve’s hips and watching as Steve stuttered in his movements. “C’mon. You were so desperate for it before.”

Steve didn’t think about how he was naked and Eddie wasn’t, how his dripping cock was getting Eddie’s boxers messy, how Eddie was smirking at him as he struggled to keep up the pace Eddie had started.

He only thought about how he had to get relief and make Eddie proud of him for doing what he asked.

Steve’s hips moved back and forth, rolling down every time he pushed forward so he could feel Eddie’s length against his own.

It was too much and not enough and Steve didn’t know how long he could keep this up.

Eddie was watching him, talking him through it, but not touching him.

“That’s it, sweet thing. Doing so good for me,” Eddie let out a moan when he started moving faster. “That’s it, sweetheart. Making me feel so fucking good.”

Steve wasn’t even registering his own pleasure anymore, only able to hear the way Eddie’s words were getting breathier, moans louder.

“Gonna cum for me? Want you to make me messy, sunshine. C’mon,” Eddie started tilting his hips up to meet Steve every time he rolled his hips down.

It was so much.

There was nothing but Eddie. His voice wrapped around him like a warm blanket as Steve felt the pull in his stomach letting him know he was close.

“Mm, Eddie, Eddie-“ Steve was babbling and he couldn’t stop. He didn’t care. He didn’t think Eddie did either. “Gonna. Gonna be good.”

Eddie let out a loud moan and sat up enough to kiss Steve’s lips.

Steve was done for.

He came so hard he almost couldn’t even feel it, the pleasure making his vision go black and his body go numb.

He could feel Eddie rut against him a few more times before he let out a groan.

He couldn’t open his eyes to see, but he knew Eddie must’ve finished too.

“So good, sunshine. Did so good for me, can’t believe I’m so lucky,” Eddie was whispering into his ear, soft breaths making Steve shiver against him.

Steve felt Eddie moving him so he was laying down in bed.

Then cold air shocked him into opening his eyes and letting out a pained whimper.

“Shhh, sweet thing. Just grabbing a washcloth. Gotta clean you up and take care of you, yeah? You did so good for me,” Eddie said as he pecked a kiss to his forehead.

Steve wasn’t quite floating now, but he recognized that he’d been on the cusp of it before Eddie walked away. He still wasn’t aware of most of what was going on, just that he’d never felt so good in his life and he hadn’t even had hands on him.

Whatever Eddie had done to take Steve apart was incredible.

When Eddie came back with the washcloth and gently wiped his stomach and chest, Steve tried to speak.

“Love that,” was all he was capable of, but it was a start. Eddie would get the gist of it.

“I’m glad. Loved doing that with you,” Eddie said softly as he got into bed next to Steve. He immediately pulled Steve on top of him, and Steve nearly gasped at Eddie being naked under him. “Feeling okay?”

Steve nodded against his chest.

He’d never felt better.

As he drifted to sleep to Eddie’s soft whispers, Steve thought about how he could possibly love someone so much so quickly.

Chapter 7

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[immeasurablesaladagere]

little five??? (referenced in last tua fic thing) 👀

Little Five and unlikely caregiver Viktor??? 👀 more likely than you think!

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Word Count: 1631

Summery: Continuation of the Little!Viktor Classification AU fic, Little Five regresses for the first time since coming home and goes to Viktor’s apartment because there is no way he’s going to be small around the rest of his family.

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“Bye, Caroline! I’ll see you next Tuesday!” Viktor said as the little girl took her mother’s hand to leave. She smiled shyly back at him and waved goodbye as best as she could while trying to keep her grip on the violin case. It was still just a bit too big for her, but she was coming along well with the basics anyway.

He closed the door and sighed. Last lesson of the day. Finally. He loved giving lessons, but they still got to be tiring when they were scheduled back-to-back like they were today. But Caroline was going on vacation with her family soon, and Mark had to reschedule for an appointment, and two weeks ago it hadn’t seemed like a big deal to squeeze them in on top of his other lessons. Two-Weeks-Ago Viktor forgot how draining people could be. 

His stomach growled. With the extra lessons, he hadn’t gotten the chance to eat dinner in-between like he usually would, and apparently his stomach wasn’t content to continue running on a turkey and cheese sandwich anymore, so he went to the kitchen to make something for dinner. Did he feel like cooking today? There were instant noodle packages in the cupboard, which would be faster, but that would also make it his supper for the third night in a row and the idea made him scrunch up his nose. Nope. He resigned himself to waiting a little longer and cooking an actual meal.

In the fridge there was a thawed package of ground beef he should probably use soon and some miscellaneous vegetables. He definitely had pasta and he was pretty sure he bought tomato sauce on the last grocery-run, so spaghetti it was. He was just about to put the meat into a pan when he heard a familiar warping sound coming from the living room followed by a loud thump. 

Five?

Sure enough, when he came around the corner Five was laying half on top of his coffee table and half on the floor, absolutely soaking wet.

“Five! Oh my gosh, what are you doing here? What happened?” He rushed forward to help him up, but Five batted his hands away and pushed himself up with a groan, dripping water all over the carpet.

“M’fine…”

“Here, let me find you a towel.” He hurried to the linen closet and returned with two fluffy towels and gave them over to Five. “Why are you all wet?”

Five rubbed one of the towels clumsily over his face and hair, and Viktor’s stomach knotted with worry. Five looked flustered and uncoordinated, and he was shaking all over. Viktor hoped it was just from the cold, but after showing up at his apartment the first time with the cut on his arm he couldn’t be sure.

“Rain.” Five huffed, “Didn’t get the jump right, ‘was outside.”

“You missed a jump?” Five didn’t just miss jumps. “Is there something wrong with your powers? That’s not like you…”

Five stopped drying himself off for a second like he was thinking about it, before answering, “No.”

But something was off. Five was holding himself differently, closed-off and almost shy, and even though they hadn’t had many conversations together there was something different about his voice. It was softer; quieter.

“It’s just— Jumps get harder to do when I’m…” He trailed off into a mumble, “Little.”

Viktor’s eyes widened, and Five’s words at the ‘family dinner’ echoed in his head.

“Eh, you were. But it takes one to know one, kid.”

“Oh. That… yeah, that makes sense…” He was at a loss for words. Five was little, and Five came to him, of all of their siblings. He wasn’t even a caregiver and Five had chosen him. Whatever he was going to do, he should probably stop gaping because Five was starting to give him the stink-eye.

“Am I… allowed to be here?” Five asked, slowly putting down the towel, “I can go if—“

“No! No, it’s okay.” He assured, “I’m glad you came here, I was just… surprised. I’m not even a caregiver, I thought you’d go to Luther or Allison instead.”

Five wrinkled his nose. “No. They’d be stupid about it, and Klaus…” He made a face, “I don’t wanna stay with Klaus. Or Diego.”

That was fair. After Five had to rescue him from family dinner it made sense that he would be hesitant to be small around them. The thought that Five could put that trust in him made Viktor feel warm inside.

“Yeah, I get that. Hey, uh, are you hungry? I was about to make spaghetti for dinner.”

Five perked up at the offer of food, then shivered. “Spaghetti’s good.”

Viktor internally kicked himself. Duh, of course he was cold. “I’ll find you some new clothes. Come on, I’m sure I’ve got something that’ll fit you.”

Five followed him to his bedroom and watched over his shoulder as he looked through the dresser for something warm. He pulled out a pair of black sweatpants with a drawstring waist and a grey orchestra hoodie. “These okay?”

Five nodded.

“Great. The bathroom’s right over there, you can—“ The thought suddenly occurred to him that he didn’t actually know how old Five was right now. That was probably important, as his babysitter and all. “Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t ask how old you were. Did you need any… help?” 

Five’s cheeks turned pink and he firmly shook his head no. “Don’t need help. And…” He huffed, “…six.”

“Alright, thank you for telling me. Go get changed, and I’ll be in the kitchen, okay? Call me if you need anything.”

Five shuffled off to the bathroom and Viktor quickly mopped up the trail of water he had tracked through the apartment, then went to the kitchen and finally put the ground beef into the pan that had been pre-heating unattended for the last ten minutes. He grabbed a tomato, a small handful of mushrooms, and the one sad stock of celery that was still in the fridge and began organizing them on a cutting board when Five returned. The clothes were still a little big but they weren’t dwarfing him, and he wasn’t shivering anymore, so Viktor took that as a win.

“Do you want to help?” He offered when he noticed that Five was just standing there awkwardly, “Maybe not with the vegetables, I’ll cut those, but you can stir the meat if you want?” He held out the spatula, and Five hesitantly took it and walked over to the pan.

“What do I do?”

“You break it up and stir it so it cooks evenly. We’ll cook it until it’s all brown, and you can’t see any more pink.”

“Oh... Okay.” With his task assigned, Five dutifully watched and stirred the pan with intense focus as the meat cooked, only looking up occasionally to ask Viktor if it was brown enough yet, while Viktor boiled a pot of water and added the noodles.

“Is it done yet?”

Viktor glanced over at the pan for the fourth time in twenty minutes, and smiled. “That looks good. Now we add our veggies and our sauce.” He handed Five the jar of sauce to pour while he went to scrape in the vegetables, but Five stopped him.

“No mushrooms.” He said. “They’re gross.”

Viktor chuckled. “But I like the mushrooms. What if I make super sure that I don’t put any on your spaghetti, is that okay?”

He pulled a very serious thinking-face. “Mmm… fine.”

“Great.” And in went the mushrooms.

Once the noodles were done, Viktor plated the spaghetti, careful to avoid getting mushrooms on Five’s plate, and the two of them ate at the table in a comfortable silence. Or at least, not as uncomfortable as it could have been. By the time all was said and done and the dishes were washed and put away, it was nearing nine o’clock and Five was starting to look sleepy.

“I’ll make up the couch for bedtime, okay?” Viktor said, fluffing one of the throw pillows and pulling down the blankets from the back of the couch. “Can you promise me you’ll stay here tonight? No leaving in the middle of the night like last time.” 

The idea of a regressed Five deciding to wander out into the city at night was nerve-wracking, especially now that he knew Five’s powers were unstable while he was small.

Five looked away, a little ashamed. “I won’t leave. Promise.”

Viktor smiled. “Good. Oh, and one more thing. I have something for you, wait here.” He went to his bedroom and opened the closet, rummaging around through the endless boxes until he found what he was looking for; the scruffy little dog plush that he’d taken from Five’s room all those years ago, right after he disappeared. It was a Saint Bernard that was well-loved even before Victor hid it in a box under his bed and then his closet, but he didn’t think he would be able to get rid of it even if it was falling apart. Hopefully Five remembered it.

He came out with the dog hidden behind his back, and Five looked at him expectantly. “Look who I’ve got!”

He held up the plush, and Five let out a little gasp.

“Buddy…”

Viktor handed it over and Five clutched it tightly. “I kept him after you left. I don’t think anyone else knows that I took him…” He sat down beside Five on the couch and gave Buddy a little scratch on the head. “He reminded me of you.”

“Thank you, Viktor…” Five whispered.

“Time for bed now, okay? Get under the blankets with Buddy.” Viktor tucked him in and gently brushed his bangs out of his face. “Goodnight, Five. I love you.”

[dosomethingplease83]

I’m a quite tipsy right now, because election night and my birthday are the only occasions when I drink, so please excuse the spelling errors and inconsistency/inaccuracy in my reasoning.

It hasn’t been called yet, but it looks like Harris is going to lose this election. Fuck.

I think the Supreme Court is going to be conservative (and not *moderate, Mitt Romney-esque conservative*) until I’m at least my dad’s age. Again, Fuck. (Unless there’s some major Supreme Court reform in the next decade or so, but even then, it’s not going to happen in the next four years).

The House and Senate also went Republican, so Republicans (and Trump-Republicans) will be able to push through any right-wing legislation they want with no one to stop them. FUCK!

On top of that, it’s not like 2016 where Trump lost the popular vote, but won the Electoral College. Trump’s winning the popular vote too! I thought that since the first disastrous Trump presidency was in recent memory, non-Trump Republicans and undecided/swing voters would remember how awful it was and either abstain from voting for Trump or vote for Harris. I was wrong, I guess Trump is like a Faustian bargain for moderate Republicans. When Biden was still running, the messaging was that we were voting for him because of the administration he would appoint, regardless of his own incompetence. I guess the moderate Republicans reasoned the same way.

I can’t think of a worse outcome. And I can’t pinpoint a singular point where the Harris campaign went wrong. Were they too pro-Israel? Were they not pro-Israel enough? Was it the time where she said that she wouldn’t do anything different than Biden? Was it Biden’s fault for promising to be a transitional president, and then running for a second term, and then waiting until July to drop out and endorse Harris? Was it the fact that Harris is a woman (and a woman of color at that)? I think picking Walz was a good choice, I’ve never seen anything negative said about him, but it wasn’t enough to save the campaign. “She has to be flawless, he gets to be lawless” indeed.

Even my solidly-blue state of Minnesota went purple this year. I know it’ll turn out blue by morning, but it’s still very disappointing.

If I had to give a piece of advice to the Democratic Party, it would be, “stop running female candidates for president.” America just isn’t ready. I don’t think many people were motivated to vote for her because she’d be the *first woman president*. Sure it’d be historic, it would be a good sign of progress for women in this country, but democrats/leftists of voting age don’t really care about the candidate’s gender. Look, Harris (and also Hillary Clinton) is WAY more qualified to be president than Trump, but America is too sexist to get past the fact that Harris is a woman, and the presidency is way to important to risk. We tried it twice, almost in a row. And the second time, American voters knew what a Trump presidency would look like! And even a mediocre candidate like Biden, who promised to be a transitional president (read: just vote for me to get rid of the awful other guy) won easily! Yeah, it’s wrong to discriminate on the basis of sex/gender, but if we want to win a presidential election (or a difficult, non-incumbent congressional or gubernatorial election), the best bet is a man. And winning is what counts, what saves lives, what changes policy and laws.

Right now, my thoughts are with my nephew, who is to be born in about two weeks. What kind of world will he grow up in? What will his homeschool education teach him about this point in history, and the decade that lead up to it? Will he be glad he was born in this time and country, or at all?

My own public-school was lacking. “World history” was about the classical era around the Mediterranean, and then medieval-WW1 in Europe. In the next few years, I should quit picking up on odd tidbits of history from Tumblr and actually learn world history on my own somehow. I despair when I think of my own life; I have to learn stuff for him, so I can be the cool aunt who teaches him stuff (like how gay people and Muslims aren’t the spawn of Satan).

I’m unemployed because of a yet-to-be-diagnosed disability that means about 80% of my daily energy is spent on survival, and I live with those aforementioned Mitt-Romney-esque Republicans who held their nose and voted for Trump because of the people he would appoint, so I don’t think that attending a protest or joining some activist group is in my near future. But I will focus more on the education that I missed (because I was basically narcoleptic in 11th and 12th grade, sleeping through half of my classes every day. I only passed because I’m very good at test-taking).

I don’t know how we crawl out of this. I’ll survive, many won’t. I don’t know when the 2016 election cycle will finally end. I just know that everything does, eventually, end. Even if not all of us will see it.

[schrijverr]

Love

Hen Wilson week 2025, Day 5: Love

Hen is getting married today. Hen is marrying Karen today. Her mom isn’t there for it though, however a pep tall from Chimney and getting to see Karen walk down the aisle will make her forget about all of that. Prompts by @henwilsonweek

On ao3.

Ships: Henren

Warnings: referenced homophobia

~~~

“My mom. She’s not here,” Hen can hear the upset in her own voice as tells Chimney that, having peered into the venue, before having to go out there.

When she looks back at Chimney – about to be her best man – her own heartbreak is reflected in his eyes, along with anger she cannot bring herself to feel right now. All she can think about is how she is going to marry the love of her life and her mom isn’t there. Her mom still disagrees with her lifestyle choices.

“Hey,” Chimney gets her attention back on him, “that doesn’t matter. Okay. It sucks. Fucking hell that fucking sucks, yeah. But it’s your wedding, it’s Karen’s wedding. You’re not marrying your mom, you’re marrying Karen and she’s going to stick to her planning, you know that.”

Hen lets out a chuckle that is slightly too wet for her taste. “Yeah,” she sniffled. “Thank god I’m not marrying my mom, that would be weird.”

“I would have stopped you,” Chimney assures her as if she seriously means it.

She sends him a look and he just grins back, making her realize that had been the point as he snapped her out of her spiral. “Thanks.”

“Course,” Chimney replies easily. “Today is about you two, if your mom is stupid, then that’s her problem, okay. You’ve dreamed about marrying Karen for years now. You finally can. That’s what today is about. About the family the two of you are making.”

“Yeah. Yeah,” Hen says, pep talking herself almost. “This is my dream. I want this. Screw her for not being there.”

“Hell yeah, that’s the spirit!” Chimney cheers. “Now, are we ready to get out there?”

“We are,” Hen smiles. She’ll always be grateful for Chimney, for having him as her friend and in her corner. He is one of the most important people in her life. He is her family. Chimney is here. That’s more important.

She takes a deep breath and calms her own nerves as she waits for Chimney and Maria – an old college friend from Karen’s who is her maid of honor – to walk to the front to receive them, or whatever you wanted to call it.

Hen was involved in the wedding planning, of course she’d been, but Karen is the one who wielded the spreadsheets and they’d gone for not super formal and mostly vibes of what a wedding is usually like than very strictly keeping to it, so Hen didn’t brush up on her wedding terminology.

…Maybe that’s why her mom wasn’t there? Because it was even more abnormal than just them being lesbians?

No.

She shakes the thought off. She isn’t going to let the second best day – first being the day they got Denny – be ruined by her mom. She isn’t going to let this get to her. She refuses.

Fortunately, she doesn’t have long to spiral again, because now it’s her turn to walk the aisle. Jitters starting up again as she takes her first step, then they melt away immediately.

The people that are there, are people she knows and loves. Chimney is at the front, smiling at her encouragingly, Athena too. She doesn’t need to be nervous here. All these people are here to celebrate her and Karen. Their union. Their love.

A big smile comes over her face and she confidently walks down, cheeks hurting, but unable to stop herself and not wanting too either. The smile falters slightly at the sight of the empty chair in the front row, but is quickly shoved aside by Chimney’s matching big grin as he claps her on the back, while she takes her place.

Nerves creep in again, but the good kind, as all eyes turn back on the door, waiting for it to open again and Karen to come out. Hen hasn’t seen her dress yet, but she has seen the pinterest board. Still, the real deal will be different.

May and Harry appear with little baskets of rainbow confetti. They’re both in their Sunday best and it’s clear that May takes her task a lot more seriously, the little concentrated furrow between her brows adorable on the eleven year old, while Harry just seems delighted to be throwing shit.

When they’ve joined their father in the first row, the doors open again. Karen appearing looking like a breath taking angel, haloed in light, though Chimney will probably say that’s her rose-tinted glasses speaking.

Karen’s dad is giving her away – which only hurts a little bit – but he practically disappears in how Karen shines. She had gotten goddess braids done, which are cascading down her shoulders, her princess dress swooshing with every step.

Hen doesn’t think she breathes for the entirety of Karen’s walk down the aisle.

God, she is so fucking gay for this woman. She loves her so much. She can’t believe she gets to marry her, that she can do that now. Legally. She’s crying at this point, but she doesn’t even care.

That happiness wilts a little once Karen passes the empty chair in the front, but Hen refuses to let her mom ruin this for her. Refuses to let her special day be overshadowed by something like this.

Still, Karen must notice something, because she quirks her brow at her when she gets to Hen. Her own eyes are also teary, but she’s managing to keep it dry for now. Hen gives a quick glance to the chair where her mom was supposed to sit and Karen sees it too. Sympathy flashes across her face and she squeezes Hen’s hand. That is worth a thousand Chimney pep talks (no offense) and Hen manages a big smile in return. She can put that aside now that Karen is here.

And she can especially put it aside when Denny comes down the aisle, proudly carrying their rings. He wanted to be best man, but sadly you have to be old enough to sign as a witness, so he is their ring bearer instead.

He looks absolutely adorable with his little chest puffed out and his curls framing his face. Some days Hen can barely believe he’s five already. It seems like time is slipping through her fingers and he was just a baby yesterday. However, she can also not be more happy to see him grow up.

“Here you go, mommy and mama,” he tells them with a big smile, holding out the rings for them.

“Thank you, honey,” Karen smiles back at him, carding a hand through his hair as she takes the ring she needs from him.

Hen is completely washed away by the tidal wave of love that crashes over her at the sight, nearly fumbling it when she takes one of the rings as well. Fuck, she is the luckiest woman on the planet.

Denny stands with Athena between them, they weren’t going to do this without him. They’re a family, the three of them together. Today they celebrate the union between her and Karen, but their relationship is defined in so many ways too by how they’re raising Denny together. It’d feel wrong to not incorporate him properly.

With him in place, it’s time for their vows. Athena first introduces Hen to speak, who takes a deep breath, before starting: “Karen. When I drove home after our first date, I called Chimney saying ‘how dare you set me with someone so arrogant and up tight.’ Of course, he listened to me… and then he proceeded to ask me when our next date would be. He knows me so well. Because I was gone for you then. From the moment you sat down across from me, challenging me to prove I was worth your time, I was down bad and I never wanted to let you go.”

People laugh and Karen looks a little embarrassed at the reminder of how she acted those first few minutes of their date, but she is beaming too.

“And I am so glad that I never let you go,” Hen continues, her voice a little softer, more awed and fragile. “There have been ups and downs, but you’re still here. We’re still here. We’re here together with the family wemade. We did that. And I sometimes can’t believe how lucky I am.”

Karen gives her the most pleased smile, though it’s a little bashful around the edges. There is also pride shining in her eyes. Pride at what they’ve built together.

“You are so driven and ambitious and I love watching you put your focus and your all in everything that you do. I admire that so much about you. I am so proud of all you have done. And I feel so honored that you chose me and Denny to be one of the things you give your energy and time to.”

Hen goes on: “I love you with all my heart. I love the way you smile. I love the way your eyes light up when you talk science. I love the way you always give in and read Denny one more bedtime story. I love the way you grumble when it’s your turn to do the dishes. I love the way you breathe, the way you exists, the way you move, the way you love. And I love that you’re letting me love you and call you mine for the rest of our lives.”

At that point, Karen is crying as much as Hen is, both of them smiling through the tears, because there is so much love inside them that is just bursting out in that moment. Hen is happy she remembered everything, happy it all came out right, happy to be here today with Karen and Denny and Chimney and Athena and all their other friends.

And when Karen starts her vows, thoughts of that empty chair are far from her mind.

~~

A/N:

Honestly, I love mama Wilson and she is the only 118 parent that actually deserved her redemption arc and who actually put in the work, so don’t take this as bashing per se. Just that was kind of fucked that she missed her own daughter’s wedding.

Also this is just a blatant excuse to write a Henren wedding, but can you blame me? I love them so so so fucking much <333