#but it’s also important that we support each other right now

[beuxwhoyouare]

Raised You Better

My son Jasper was a good kid. He was a star soccer player in school and got a scholarship to play in college, so I only saw him on holidays. I missed him so much and looked forward to our quarterly reunions.

Well that was until his most recent visit. He was being so distant and when I finally inquired why he was acting differently, he finally admitted he actually dropped out to pursue being a personal trainer.

I was shocked. He's always been a model child and did all me and my husband expected of him. Maybe it was all our time away working? Maybe I should've been home more instead of being at the lab. It felt like a punch in the gut. I mean sure he knew what he was doing thanks to all his time training for soccer but that's not a way to build a life?

My husband and I did it right. We met in college and supported each other through our advanced degrees and worked our way up in an international pharmaceutical company. Personal training is just so...surface level. He's supposed to be better than us. That's what you want for your children. No no no this is no good. I'll have to set him on the right path.

I knew of a special program at work that was rooted in natural medicine and meditation with a mad science twist. I set up Jasper with the "Sports Nutrition" department at work but it was actually our new experiment. It looked like a TENS muscle stimulator on crack. Several wires shot out of a relatively large dark grey box with a screen and several sliders on one side. I sat connected on the other side of the wall connected with the pads all over the top of my head. All I had to do was wait for Jasper to get hooked up. We sold it to him as a scientific way to curb cravings for sweets and unhealthy things, like an ozempic shot for the brain. In reality, I was told that the machine would take positive attributes from one source and strengthen them in the weaker mind.

I saw the lights flicker and anticipated that he had already been hooked up to the machine. I just laid back and rested while focusing on the importance of getting a quality education. Eventually, I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again it was all so groggy. But I was sitting facing the opposite direction. I lifted my arms to wipe my eyes and gasped when I looked down. My boobs were gone and replaced with sizable mounds of muscle escaping a tiny white tank top. My arms and thick thighs now filled with tattoos....no?! This isn't supposed to be how it works

I told the lab techs who I am and that I was actually Meredith. They both looked at each other spooked but judiciously jotting down notes. After answering a few security questions, they agreed to believe that I was indeed not Jasper and it must be an unforseen side effect from the treatment.

That's when they explained the problem....When my body woke up, it also said it was Meredith. Could the experiment have basically overwritten the memory of my son with my own? I felt like I basically killed my own child. Grief swept over me. But then so did a bravado, a confidence, a giddiness? The two lab techs handed me a towel as they shyly avoided looking down at a tent forming in my shorts. Oh I guess the excitement led to a physical response.

In theory I get it as a scientist. I did in fact instill positive traits on my son. Granted, that also erased him seemingly. But also it's a chance at a new life full of new experiences. I'm a man now. And what a man indeed. I walked into the shower facility at the lab. I took off the outfit Jasper donned to the lab, if I was still a woman it'd be called skimpy and slutty. Tiny shorts with underwear built in and a virtually see through tank top. In two swift moves, I had taken everything off. I had seen my son naked as a child but this is different. He looked so much like his father....well I guess I looked so much like MY dad now. His genetics graced me well as I placed one hand on my pecs and another on my new dick. I squeezed both recoiling from the newfound pleasure. This was wrong right? Like I shouldn't be doing this....I felt disgusted with myself. No. This is for the betterment of Jasper's life. I'm going to let go of my past life....I'm Jasper now.

And what a life it will be. Years of playing sport and training, whew. I wasn't going to let him throw it away, I'll let it be a side job, maybe I'll own a business with a bunch of trainers under me but I won't be hustling like that. Not yet. I gotta learn the new me. I used my hands to trace the curves of each new tattoo, then moved on to each muscle. I poked and prodded before squeezing, then I remembered I had business to attend to. I took one hand and gently took hold of the warm fleshy rod under the steamy water pulsing down onto me. I pumped back and forth for a few minutes. Jasper was not sensitive at all...I shoved aside my reservations and gripped myself firmer and began jerking harder and faster. Eventually I introduced my other hand....oh he was girthy in the best way. I mean I am thick in the best ways. Harder and faster, it felt like I was floating outside of myself as my muscles took over almost like autopilot.

The steam radiated off my new musculature when it felt like I saw a flash of light. Shot after shot came out of my new rod. The lab walls had likely never seen a show like this but I was happy to christen them. The autopilot kinky thoughts continued to take over my new mind and body. I squatted down an licked the nearest wall as my cum dripped down. I knew Jasper was queer but I didn't know how he would respond to this kind of kink. I think he was a little freak because there was not one single butterfly in my stomach from this action. I quickly toweled off and headed to my apartment. I figured "Meredith" could find her way home.

The apartment smelled like a young male in college. A musk twirled around sweat and strong cologne. Foreign to me, but familiar to my new body. I couldn't control myself and ripped my clothes off...literally. My strength made it obscenely easy to tear them off in ways they weren't intended to. I wanted to try on all my new clothes. This body made everything look good.

My phone buzzed. It was one of "my" bros asking if I was coming down to the shoot. I played it off like I forgot and asked him to send me the "deets" again.

I threw on the nearest random shirt and bottoms and made my way to the warehouse address given. I guess "I" had agreed to help with the photoshoot to launch "our" new clothing line. A nearby table had Jasper's name on it and I quickly assumed the position taking off all my clothes and putting the skimpy clothing on. I channeled my new swagger as my bros began taking pics.

Oh I think I'm gonna like this. Hopefully I can find a cute twink or something soon. I really wanna put these thighs to work plowing someone's son or two.

[changbinsboobs]

plz Queen drop new reading

U ask - and the queen will deliver

Husband Series: Lee Know

First, i see him being very overwhelmed with responsibilities and just giving very stressed vibes, like going left and right, doing this and that and being just very hyper focus on whats on his mind and what should get done and i see him getting a bit lost in that feeling. I don't see it being a permanent thing tho maybe just in the beginning he'll habe a transitioning phase where he is a bit all over the place until he finds his place in his new family.

I see him being a provider and being the main breadwinner in the family. He likes it like that actually. Its a bit of a subtle energy, so maybe he wont talk about it or actively show that he likes it but i think its something he feels should be that way and he feels proud being able to properly provide for his family and be of importance and use to his loved ones.

I don't see him being very communicative or romantic tho, im sensing loneliness from his partner. The thing is, i don't see him necessarily being cold or dry, but rather he's difficult to enter and gwt to know on a deeper level and that lack of emotional intimacy will probably be a problem in his marriage. I also see his communication style being very sharp, short and to the point with not much sugarcoating or flare - so i guess his marriage may be more of a task or a transactional thing for him. Like "i give u money you give me kids, we keep each other company." Thats just about it. I think his fun and playful side will be more for his friends rather for his marriage, especially when responsibilities like house, kids etc come. Why is that such a theme with so many men that think life stops when they get married and now everything gets serious and its all about responsibilities and why on earth do men lose interest in their wife's once they get married😭 im seeing this with lee know i saw similar energy with chan as well.

Anyways im seeing him being passionate in bed tho, probably the only times he's playful with his partner and shows passion and emotion. I believe those are the times his spouse gets reminded that lee know actually loves them.

And lastly - a very lovely card - he is gonna be very involved with the kids later on if they have them, if not they'll probably have pets, and he'll be very involved in that then. Or if they have both than with both😂. So im seeing him being a good dad and also taking a lot of the responsibilities from his spouse when it comes to this, so despite him being the breadwinner i think the child-duty will be more or less evenly distributed among them which is a huge bonus i think cuz sadly, thats not a given🥲

Overall im seeing him being a great support for his spouse, maybe not so much in the emotional department but still overall he looks very stable, responsible and rational, some passion, fun and romance lacking here and there but even then he's still a good person to vent to or as for advice or emotional support once u get used to his style.

[imjustaf444keriguess]

okay, im gonna react to each of these separately, if i miss any important details in any of the studies or sources feel free to correct me. also at times i use just DID to refer to traumagenic and disordered systemhood, but note that i count the OSDD1 presentations and any similar complex dissociative disorder with self-presentations / plurality the same as DID in this post.

the first one seems to talk about dissociation in general, and how it presents over many dissociative disorders. it mentions a "trauma model" and a "taxon model" vaguely, and then goes to talk about dissociative disorders exclusively after. this doesn't prove or disprove possible non-pathological forms of plurality and systemhood, and i can't tell if they're on the side of "it's solely dissociation" or if it's a "we believe there's two different kinds of dissociation" here

The Trauma Model posits that dissociation is a psychobiological state or trait that functions as a protective response to traumatic or overwhelming experiences.4 Dissociation is most commonly conceptualized as a continuum from normal to pathological, with states of intense absorption, like spacing out while driving and missing an exit at one end, and severe dissociative disorders like DID at the other. Research supports an alternative: the Taxon Model positing two continua: normal and pathological dissociation.5 The latter comprises a distinct group of highly traumatized individuals—about 3.5% of the general population—who endorse a specific cluster of symptoms consistent with severe dissociative psychopathology such as DID.

i mentioned in my other reblog a quote from the authors of the TOSD saying that non-disordered multiplicity and dissociation (like that with mediums and hypnosis) is potentially possible and needs to be studied, so just saying that there's a trauma model of dissociation is like... yeah? there's clearly non-pathological form of dissociation too, though. depends on what you're classifying as dissociation thugh (like, is reading a novel dissociation?)

the next one is from "thepsychpractice.com", which is not really a resource i'd trust to be truly unbiased. it's also about DID only, not proving non-traumagenic plurality impossible. we also know it's possible to create alters and to influence them, and alters can change their internalized identity. they, in a sense, CAN choose their name, age, gender, etc. it's just not something another alter can change for that alter.

the next one is also from DID-research, which, again, is about DID. nothing on that page says anything about how non-traumagenic systems and plurals can't exist, it's just some med students large-carrd at the end of the day (a good and generally informative page about DID still, but not directly a source to say "non-traumagenic systems don't exist).

i don't have time to focus and watch a tiktok, trying to focus on an auditory input right now would probably make my brain explode, but i bet that user has a decently good summary for DID systems. tiktok is not a source to disprove endogenic systems though. the existence of DID systems and trauma-formed systems are also not proof against endogenic systems and endogenic plurality.

another .com site that seems to be summarizing DID for the laymen like the psych practice. beachsideteen.com is probably not made by the cutting-edge scientists, i'd guess. it does seem to agree with most average people on its facts and is against fakeclaiming, somewhat, but again it's not really a source that's debunking endogenic plurality.

it also uses integration instead of final fusion in its wording, which many people would say is wrong (as integration is just connecting the parts, final fusion is the full merging of parts, and functional multiplicity is still being separate "selves" while lowering the dissociation barriers between parts.

also, with tiktok and other social media platforms, different alters can switch in and choose to create videos and such. while this is not the same as the "switching on camera" trend they mentioned specifically, it is similar where people fakeclaim others for switching to create a video together as a system- which is entirely possible because alters can front, they can communicate, and they can have interests outside of the trauma (and they SHOULD, since life is not JUST trauma and even traumagenic alters deserve to be silly and have fun). that's not entirely related to the topic at hand, but is important to note. alters are ,at their core, still people (or at LEAST parts of a person), they still have the ability to want to feel joy and have fun. sometimes, they want to use tiktok to be silly and have fun. i don't get it because i hate tiktok but thats due to me hating tiktok, not all shortform video content creation.

yet another .com site (traumadissociation.com) that only talks about DID. it DOES mention maladaptive daydreaming, but that's a separate (proposed) disorder, and doesn't really relate to endogenic plurality's validity or not. it's the same as mentioning BPD and its similarities to some DID experiences,

this one is ALSO a .com site but seems to actually show a study(? paper?) talking about DID and its presentation. while my simple skimming through doens't show anything that says "multiple 'sentient' self states is only possible through trauma, it does show a pretty good perspective on DID systems and why they might form. i'll read this one better later, but i don't think it's good evidence to disprove endogenic plurality itself (again, the existemce of traumagenic plurality and DID systemhood is not evidence against the idea that non-traumagenic plurality and non DID systemhood can exist)

and... that's it. a few resources on DID specifically, and only two are "valid" sources. and, as far as i can read, the sources don't say that endogenic plurality is not possible, they're just talking about DID and dissociation in a pathological sense.

("valid' here as in "could be a source that i'd read that would prove endogenic plurality and systemhood impossible," as most or even all of these sources are good for DID specifically, and some are good for singlets to read at a glance or for some newly-diagnosed DID systems to read to understand their experience better and give words to their experiences)

if i missed any specific points in the first and last links that do have direct statements against endogenic (non-disordered / trauma-based) plurality, do point them out as well. i am human and could have missed something!

whoever changed the endogenic wiki page just know i love you and ur the best

[catboybrain]

i dunno if its just who im following rn but im really rocked lately by all the division btwn transfems and transmascs on my dash... where is this coming from .?

[bbygirl-aemond]

okay now that i've slept on this episode (and watched the behind the scenes) i want to talk more about this idea of rhaenyra as a cult leader who has completely drunk her own kool-aid. it's an a+ development for her character and i truly hope the writers continue to lean into it further.

hotd has built up this idea of dragons being a conduit for the divine from the very beginning of season one, when viserys and rhaenyra talk about how the targaryen's perceived proximity to the gods comes via their control of dragons. earlier in season two we also heard the smallfolk describe the dragons as invulnerable gods during the parading of meleys's head. this is a deliberate narrative that the targaryens have cultivated (as jace pointed out) to provide themselves with a divine mandate to justify their rule.

this idea of the dragons as a divine mandate is beginning to intersect with the conqueror's dream for rhaenyra in a fascinating way. rhaenyra has always placed more importance on the conqueror's dream than, say, daemon or jace, but this episode goes much further, and is full of rhaenyra talking about being given signs and instructions from the gods. i think addam claiming seasmoke was a transformation for her- she was smiling and had this look of near elation once he claimed her as queen.

i think she genuinely believes that the gods broke the rules of dragon claiming in order to give her a loyal dragon rider right when she needed one. we then see this same elated smile again when she successfully brings vermithor to heel.

each of these little moments is something she takes as confirmation that she's being aided by the gods. this is why she is so convinced that the dragon seeds who claim vermithor and silverwing will be loyal to her- she has convinced herself that all of this is the gods signaling to her and that they will bring her loyal dragon riders the way they brought her addam. the dragon tamers point out what rhaenyra is not willing to acknowledge; these are not true signs from the gods, but things that rhaenyra herself is reading into and arranging for herself. she is seeing what she wants to see. and this will be proven true when hugh and ulf betray rhaenyra, likely due to rhaenyra's own actions in locking the dragonseeds in to die. they were not loyal believers sent from the gods to serve her; they were just men, and she's given them the fantasy equivalent of nuclear missiles.

a large part of this belief in divine validation is definitely due to rhaenyra's own deep seated insecurity due to viserys neglecting her in her childhood and her small council not taking her seriously enough, but i also think this is a coping mechanism on rhaenyra's part. she has no choice but to lean into this war as fully as she can now, to describe herself as helpless in the wake of what the gods have set before her, because she needs her losses to mean something. she needs visenya's death and luke's death to mean something. she needs the loss of her relationship with alicent to mean something.

but in doing this, she is already beginning to push others away from her. she has lost the support of the dragon tamers, and she has also pushed away jace; when he confronted her about a valid concern about how this would make his own ascension even more fraught, she just parroted more of that divine mandate nonsense back to him, which he is clearly not buying. i'll be curious to see how much deeper she falls into this cultish spiral and how much more it costs her.

[princealberich]

HOW DO I COMPLAIN TO HOYOVERSE?

It's easy, and there are MULTIPLE things you can do! I recommend doing each item on this list.

1. SIGN & SHARE THE PETITION

The petition will be delivered to the appropriate cultural reps, in order to complain to the CCP about the negative impression this is leaving on Chinese companies. Genshin Impact is highly favoured by the government for the positive press it gives the country, and putting pressure on the 'big daddy' is FAR more likely to make Hoyoverse buckle.

As of right now, the petition has nearly 38k signatures.

2. EMAIL HOYOVERSE

Email them directly at genshin_cs@hoyoverse.com to state how this has affected your desire to continue playing their games.

3. USE THE IN-GAME SURVEY OR FEEDBACK

Genshin Impact has frequent update surveys, and there is a permanent option to give feedback at any time. You can find it in the Paimon Menu.

4. REVIEW BOMB

Rate Hoyoverse's games, particularly Genshin, with one star on the app store. This has already proven in the past to have an effect, when this caused the team to review the anniversary rewards.

Here is a guide on how to do this!

5. POST IN OFFICIAL HOYOVERSE ACCOUNTS' COMMENTS

Do not be silent! Speak up about your displeasure. It's important that these comments outweigh the rest! Show that we are the MAJORITY.

6. SPEAK UP

Use the tags!

#BoycottHYV #WhyAreTheyWhiteHoyo #GenshinImpact #FixNatlan

Be relentless.

FURTHER DETAILS UNDER THE CUT!

WHAT SHOULD I NOT DO?

The following actions should NOT be taken:

DO NOT spend money on Hoyoverse games.

DO NOT sent threats, to voice actors OR customer service staff.

DO NOT engage with trolls or racists. Block and report.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

It's easy to dismiss this in the face of 'more important' issues in the world at the moment, but Genshin Impact (And by extension, Hoyoverse) is a very influential game and company. It is extremely popular, and directly influences MANY other games and players through this popularity.

This isn't an issue of 'just stop playing'- This is not anger for a game's decisions, it's anger for a precedent. It's a demand that not only should Hoyoverse care about representation, but other, smaller, companies too. If Hoyoverse can get away with it, so can others- But if Hoyoverse is held accountable for their exploitation of culture, then it sets the precedent that other companies have no chance of doing the same.

Like it or not, Hoyoverse has a lot of influence, and the CCP itself values the company for giving China a positive image in other countries. This is bigger than just being mad at character design.

EDIT: It was also pointed out to me that if POC were to simply stop engaging with hostile content, they would have nothing left. 'Just stop playing' isn't fair, plain and simple. POC deserve to play the things that they enjoy WITHOUT being ostracized.

DOES HOYOVERSE LISTEN?

They listen if there's no money lining their pockets, they listen if their reputation is damaged, and they listen if the CCP gets involved. We have direct evidence of this.

Review bombing alone caused Hoyoverse to reconsider the first anniversary rewards.

The CCP forced Hoyoverse to reskin various characters to comply with their laws, which HYV did. (This isn't necessarily a good thing, however, it is still evidence that CCP has influence over them.)

This is by far the largest outcry the company has seen so far, and MANY of HYV's voice actors have spoken out in support for the movement as well. This is not just playerbase complaints, but staff, too.

I recommend following AvenOfStrats on X/Twitter for further updates on the petition's progress, and on other ways to contribute. They also share plenty of resources on why this is important, and guides on how to complain.

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Someone requested some advice on whether to openly tell people you are mentally ill/neurodivergent/invisibly disabled or not.

There's some research that suggests that, for example, autistic people are more likely to identify as lgbt+ than their non-autistic peers - so this is absolutely a topic that belongs on a lgbt+ blog and I'm sure there are a lot of you who had to make that decision (and probably keep having to make it as coming-outs of any sort are rarely one-and-done!).

In fact, I had/have to make that decision myself! As an autistic person with depression and anxiety, I could tell you now why I personally decided to be open about all those diagnoses - but the right decision for me isn't necessarily the right decision for you as my life isn't yours.

So, what I'll do instead is to write down a general list with (potential) pros and cons, and I encourage you to nitpick it. Personalize it, take some time to decide how much, if at all, each point weighs in your own decision. There's no right or wrong answer here. It's all about your highly individual situation, about your safety and comfort.

Reasons not to be open about it:

It may put you at risk for various sorts of hate, discrimination, negative stigma and bad treatment

It may put a burden on you to educate others and discuss any misconceptions or myths they believe in, including potentially hurtful or disstressing ones (maybe even fruitlessly so which may cause frustrations or fights)

It may change the way people treat you, even in well-meant ways (babying you, pitying you, trying to "help" against your wishes etc.)

It may feel like a loss of privacy, make you feel "naked" or emotionally vulnerable, make you worry more about the way others perceive you etc.

Reasons to be open about it:

It may help others understand you or your behavior better, which may have positive effects on your relationships

It may allow you to ask for support and help more easily (either from friends and loved ones or in the workplace, school etc.)

It may make you feel empowered and help you accept/love yourself as a disabled person more

It may contribute to making your specific diagnosis more visible in society (which may also make you feel pride in breaking down stereotypes and supporting your community)

It may discourage people from assigning wrong or hurtful labels to you (either armchair-diagnosing you or labeling you as weird, crazy, lazy, gross etc.)

It's important to keep in mind that some people do not have the option to make this decision for themselves, for example because they have highly visible symptoms or they are in a position where their caretakers make the decision for them. This adds another layer to why we can't judge one decision as better or worse than the other - it's not always their own decision.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[headspace-hotel]

There, in the sunlit forest on a high ridgeline, was a tree I had never seen before.

I spend a lot of time looking at trees. I know my beech, sourwood, tulip poplar, sassafras and shagbark hickory. Appalachian forests have such a diverse tree community that for those who grew up in or around the ancient mountains, forests in other places feel curiously simple and flat.

Oaks: red, white, black, bur, scarlet, post, overcup, pin, chestnut, willow, chinkapin, and likely a few others I forgot. Shellbark, shagbark and pignut hickories. Sweetgum, serviceberry, hackberry, sycamore, holly, black walnut, white walnut, persimmon, Eastern redcedar, sugar maple, red maple, silver maple, striped maple, boxelder maple, black locust, stewartia, silverbell, Kentucky yellowwood, blackgum, black cherry, cucumber magnolia, umbrella magnolia, big-leaf magnolia, white pine, scrub pine, Eastern hemlock, redbud, flowering dogwood, yellow buckeye, white ash, witch hazel, pawpaw, linden, hornbeam, and I could continue, but y'all would never get free!

And yet, this tree is different.

We gather around the tree as though surrounding the feet of a prophet. Among the couple dozen of us, only a few are much younger than forty. Even one of the younger men, who smiles approvingly and compliments my sharp eye when I identify herbs along the trail, has gray streaking his beard. One older gentleman scales the steep ridge slowly, relying on a cane for support.

The older folks talk to us young folks with enthusiasm. They brighten when we can call plants and trees by name and list their virtues and importance. "You're right! That's Smilax." "Good eye!" "Do you know what this is?—Yes, Eupatorium, that's a pollinator's paradise." "Are you planning to study botany?"

The tree we have come to see is not like the tall and pillar-like oaks that surround us. It is still young, barely the diameter of a fence post. Its bark is gray and forms broad stripes like rivulets of water down smooth rock. Its smooth leaves are long, with thin pointed teeth along their edges. Some of the group carefully examine the bark down to the ground, but the tree is healthy and flourishing, for now.

This tree is among the last of its kind.

The wood of the American Chestnut was once used to craft both cradles and coffins, and thus it was known as the "cradle-to-grave tree." The tree that would hold you in entering this world and in leaving it would also sustain your body throughout your life: each tree produced a hundred pounds of edible nuts every winter, feeding humans and all the other creatures of the mountains. In the Appalachian Mountains, massive chestnut trees formed a third of the overstory of the forest, sometimes growing larger than six feet in diameter.

They are a keystone species, and this is my first time seeing one alive in the wild.

It's a sad story. But I have to tell you so you will understand.

At the turn of the 20th century, the chestnut trees of Appalachia were fundamental to life in this ecosystem, but something sinister had taken hold, accidentally imported from Asia. Cryphonectria parasitica is a pathogenic fungus that infects chestnut trees. It co-evolved with the Chinese chestnut, and therefore the Chinese chestnut is not bothered much by the fungus.

The American chestnut, unlike its Chinese sister, had no resistance whatsoever.

They showed us slides with photos of trees infected with the chestnut blight earlier. It looks like sickly orange insulation foam oozing through the bark of the trees. It looks like that orange powder that comes in boxes of Kraft mac and cheese. It looks wrong. It means death.

The chestnut plague was one of the worst ecological disasters ever to occur in this place—which is saying something. And almost no one is alive who remembers it. By the end of the 1940's, by the time my grandparents were born, approximately three to four billion American chestnut trees were dead.

The Queen of the Forest was functionally extinct. With her, at least seven moth species dependent on her as a host plant were lost forever, and no one knows how much else. She is a keystone species, and when the keystone that holds a structure in place is removed, everything falls.

Appalachia is still falling.

Now, in some places, mostly-dead trees tried to put up new sprouts. It was only a matter of time for those lingering sprouts of life.

But life, however weak, means hope.

I learned that once in a rare while, one of the surviving sprouts got lucky enough to successfully flower and produce a chestnut. And from that seed, a new tree could be grown. People searched for the still-living sprouts and gathered what few chestnuts could be produced, and began growing and breeding the trees.

Some people tried hybridizing American and Chinese chestnuts and then crossing the hybrids to produce purer American strains that might have some resistance to the disease. They did this for decades.

And yet, it wasn't enough. The hybrid trees were stronger, but not strong enough.

Extinction is inevitable. It's natural. There have been at least five mass extinctions in Earth's history, and the sixth is coming fast. Many people accepted that the American chestnut was gone forever. There had been an intensive breeding program, summoning all the natural forces of evolution to produce a tree that could survive the plague, and it wasn't enough.

This has happened to more species than can possibly be counted or mourned. And every species is forced to accept this reality.

Except one.

We are a difficult motherfucker of a species, aren't we? If every letter of the genome's book of life spelled doom for the Queen of the Forest, then we would write a new ending ourselves. Research teams worked to extract a gene from wheat and implant it in the American chestnut, in hopes of creating an American chestnut tree that could survive.

This project led to the Darling 58, the world's first genetically modified organism to be created for the purpose of release into the wild.

The Darling 58 chestnut is not immune, the presenters warned us. It does become infected with the blight. And some trees die. But some live.

And life means hope.

In isolated areas, some surviving American Chestnut trees have been discovered, most of them still very young. The researchers hope it is possible that some of these trees may have been spared not because of pure luck, but because they carry something in their genes that slows the blight in doing its deadly work, and that possibly this small bit of innate resistance can be shaped and combined with other efforts to create a tree that can live to grow old.

This long, desperate, multi-decade quest is what has brought us here. The tree before me is one such tree: a rare survivor. In this clearing, a number of other baby chestnut trees have been planted by human hands. They are hybrids of the Darling 58 and the best of the best Chinese/American hybrids. The little trees are as prepared for the blight as we can possibly make them at this time. It is still very possible that I will watch them die. Almost certainly, I will watch this tree die, the one that shades us with her young, stately limbs.

Some of the people standing around me are in their 70's or 80's, and yet, they have no memory of a world where the Queen of the Forest was at her full majesty. The oldest remember the haunting shapes of the colossal dead trees looming as if in silent judgment.

I am shaken by this realization. They will not live to see the baby trees grow old. The people who began the effort to save the American chestnut devoted decades of their lives to these little trees, knowing all the while they likely never would see them grow tall. Knowing they would not see the work finished. Knowing they wouldn't be able to be there to finish it. Knowing they wouldn't be certain if it could be finished.

When the work began, the technology to complete it did not exist. In the first decades after the great old trees were dead, genetic engineering was a fantasy.

But those that came before me had to imagine that there was some hope of a future. Hope set the foundation. Now that little spark of hope is a fragile flame, and the torch is being passed to the next generation.

When a keystone is removed, everything suffers. What happens when a keystone is put back into place? The caretakers of the American chestnut hope that when the Queen is restored, all of Appalachia will become more resilient and able to adapt to climate change.

Not only that, but this experiment in changing the course of evolution is teaching us lessons and skills that may be able to help us save other species.

It's just one tree—but it's never just one tree. It's a bear successfully raising cubs, chestnut bread being served at a Cherokee festival, carbon being removed from the atmosphere and returned to the Earth, a wealth of nectar being produced for pollinators, scientific insights into how to save a species from a deadly pathogen, a baby cradle being shaped in the skilled hands of an Appalachian crafter. It's everything.

Despair is individual; hope is an ecosystem. Despair is a wall that shuts out everything; hope is seeing through a crack in that wall and catching a glimpse of a single tree, and devoting your life to chiseling through the wall towards that tree, even if you know you will never reach it yourself.

An old man points to a shaft of light through the darkness we are both in, toward a crack in the wall. "Do you see it too?" he says. I look, and on the other side I see a young forest full of sunlight, with limber, pole-size chestnut trees growing toward the canopy among the old oaks and hickories. The chestnut trees are in bloom with fuzzy spikes of creamy white, and bumblebees heavy with pollen move among them. I tell the man what I see, and he smiles.

"When I was your age, that crack was so narrow, all I could see was a single little sapling on the forest floor," he says. "I've been chipping away at it all my life. Maybe your generation will be the one to finally reach the other side."

Hope is a great work that takes a lifetime. It is the hardest thing we are asked to do, and the most essential.

I am trying to show you a glimpse of the other side. Do you see it too?

[astral-lucy]

your next partner (PAC)

hello beautiful creatures! i'm excited to be back with another pick-a-card reading. i've been feeling romantic lately, so here goes a reading regarding your next partner. hope you enjoy it!

as usual, pick the picture that you feel most connected or drawn towards (pile 1 - up and left / pile 2 - up and right / pile 3 - down and left / pile 4 - down and right)

happy reading!

#pile 1

wheel of fortune - eight of wands - knight of cups - six of swords - seven of coins

when i started to shuffle for this pile’s reading, “so high school” by taylor swift started playing, so maybe that means something to you. although this is a person i think you’ve known for a while, the wheel of fortune here shows a new stage of this relationship, and paired with the eight of wands this shows a period of excitement, passion - the typical honeymoon phase we all go through once we start a relationship. maybe you have been through a rough period emotionally, things haven’t been great for either one of you, and here comes a calmer time, you’ll have someone to rely on that’ll help you with all the love in the world. this relationship seems ideal, but there are a few cards here that advice making an effort to communicate correctly with each other. 

when i asked about the appearance of this person i got freckles! i also see that this person has a baby face or is a pretty childish person, someone with a lot of energy. i feel like they have lighter hair as well.  you can also expect this to happen literally at any moment now! this is something that is already happening and in the works. 

#pile 2

the hanged man - queen of cups - knight of cups - six of coins - nine of cups

“only love” by ben howard started playing when i started writing, and i feel like that’s how this connection feels like! this is someone new in your life, and your day to day will start to feel like this song. with the hanged man opening this reading i feel like this is someone who came in to change your perspective and opinions about love, and even about self love - but this card also tells you to be patient and advises not to rush into new relationships without being sure first, as not everyone will fit you. love is definitely on the horizon, just wait for it to come to you, as someone who is willing to listen to you and that will offer you all the attention you need is on the way. the six of pentacles here is asking you to give without expecting anything back, it advises you to be generous with yourself and the universe will be generous to you as well! a strong connection is coming 

when i asked about this person i got the five of coins, so this is probably someone who has gone through hard times and knows that feeling cared for is important. this is someone who has dark eyes, probably darker skinned as well. 

when i asked for timing, i saw that the winter time may be of significance, but this still may take a while to come to you. 

#pile 3

two of swords - ace of cups - six of coins - queen of swords - five of swords

wow, you may be indecisive regarding a relationship or taking a new step into a relationship, and you may be looking for advice. i think that this relationship has a great potential of being a safe space, somewhere you’ll feel loved and supported. you may be indecisive because you don’t want to lose your independence - but your partner understands how that is important to you and will respect it. there’s an emphasis on the important of communication, as you may have problems due to a lack of it, and what i see here is that you’re struggling to make things official because you’re afraid - talk to them! have the scary conversation. they understand. 

when i asked about appearance i got the emperor, which makes me think this is a person who has a lot of authority. i also think they’re someone with dark eyes but lighter hair. 

timing wise, regarding having a conversation or taking a new step, i’d say something will shift within the next ten days or the next two weeks. 

#pile 4

three of coins - three of wands - six of cups - king of coins - page of wands

i think someone you’ve had a crush on has looked your way! someone you’ve liked for a while is now noticing you in a romantic light, or maybe someone you tried to have a relationship with in the past is back. whoever this person is, they’re not 100% committed to you, they want to be your one and only. you may feel sparks, have a lot of passion and fun with this person, but you need to avoid being clingy or too jealous of this person, reminding you both how everyone needs space. the three of wands is an amazing card here, as it shows you good luck on your romantic choices. 

i think this person takes a great care of their appearance, especially their hair. 

i think this is going to become official in a few month, maybe around pisces season.

hope you enjoyed reading!

[yanderestarangel]

HEADKANONS MK1 - "HOW WOULD THEY REACT TO THE PREGNANT READER?"

A/N: an anon asked me for Bi Han's reaction to a pregnant Reader, but then I decided to play several MK men soon, I'll answer all requests too, thanks for the asks and support <3

TW: pregnancy, afab anatomy, paternity mentioned, used "father/mother" to refer to the reader, mention of smut, fluff.

✧ BI HAN ✧

It really depends on what kind of relationship you two have. You can have a "friendship with benefits" with Bi Han, where you look for each other just to have sex, then you end up accidentally getting pregnant and go look for him - obviously afraid, after all, he is Bi Han. So he asks you to meet him in the forest, the same meeting place where you made love in passionate encounters, with Bi Han fucking you hard, whispering how good you were for him, how good your beautiful pussy was on his dick, it was the only moment that the grand master was vulnerable. You saw him in the distance, with his arms crossed and a serious expression on his face as he waited for you to say something so important that made him miss an entire day of liu kuei training. After telling him, he would be surprised for a few minutes, and say: "-Are you sure it's my son?" -Bi Han said with a little too much seriousness in his voice, even aggression while you felt a little offended, but you would say yes, making Bi Han look at the sky, a smile could be seen slightly on his lips as he went at your direction by kneeling in front of your belly and nodding your head. "-I think we will be good parents, our child will have all the honor and power Lin Kuei." -The ice ninja stood up as he held your hand, he would be a good father, even if he was rude at times, he will take care of your pregnancy - and maybe he will want more children in the future with you - he would officially ask you to be his boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage, after all, he needs a partner by his side, especially you who are carrying his offspring.

✧ KUAI LIANG ✧

The two of you also had a friendship with benefits, always together in the lonely early mornings that Kuai would look for you for pleasure and affection, but unlike his brother, Kuai would treat you as if the two of you were already dating, giving you gifts or even forgetting and saying that You were his boyfriend/girlfriend. Over time he started to stay even more at your house, always having sex in every possible place - and often without a condom - so soon your period was late, you felt sick and took a pregnancy test, confirming your suspicions. That night Liang and you had sex again, while you sat next to him on the mattress on the floor with the pregnancy test under the pillow, obviously you were scared, as you saw Kuai look at you worried. "-Is there a problem sweetheart?" -He said, caressing your naked and sweaty waist, after sex, while you sighed and took out the small pregnancy test, with the positive sign, showing it to him without saying anything. Kuai would remain silent for a few minutes, looking at the test in hand while he finally smiled slightly, looking at you fondly. "-Was that it (Y/N)? Why were you afraid to tell me? I'm literally in love with you, it's not just sex for me, I really love you. And we're together for everything, especially this." -Kuai Liang said smiling, hugging you right away, while stroking your hair. "-You will look beautiful as a father/mother, with a huge belly, carrying our child, our family will start now, you and me."

✧ SYZOTH ✧

He's going to faint, no joke, but it's from happiness. Regardless of your relationship, he will be over the moon. Syzoth always wanted a family again, he lost one so he knows the pain and loneliness it is, being alone in the world and without hope, he found you and you started small meetings, sometimes sex, sometimes just watching a movie together or just talking - or sometimes all together, it depends on the mood of the two of you on the day - And this will last for many days, months or even years, he always wanted a title, but you never wanted to put labels on what you two had, what you left He was upset to be honest, but he continued with your conformist carnal encounters while trying to settle for sexual chemistry. But that didn't last long with a fight between the two of you for exactly that reason, you didn't want a relationship but he did, leading to the two of you not seeing each other for two weeks and in the meantime, you discovered you were pregnant, becoming desperate and looking for Syzoth immediately. He was shocked, paralyzed, he was breathing heavily and then passed out seconds later, but he woke up quickly. "-Am I going to be a father??? Am I really going to be a father again?" -Syzoth spoke with a happy smile, taking your shoulders, as he pulled you into a hug, jumping with joy, shedding a few tears in the process, he quickly knelt down, looking at your belly, and placing a kiss over the fabric of your blouse. "-I already love you my child, me and (Y/N) will love you very much." -He stood up, wiping away his tears while looking at you with affection. "-Do you agree to make things official between the two of us (Y/N)? And raise our child? I promise to do everything to protect you, as the father/mother of my son."

✧ REIKO ✧

The two of you were the classic: enemies to lovers, always fighting with each other to stand out more for General Shao Khan or even falling to the punch - without losing the friendship, just a friendly spar, where Reiko and you left bleeding - But there was always sexual tension between the two of you, it was obvious to anyone who saw you, and one day, it became real, with you and Reiko taking a shower after a mission together in the same bathroom and with him teasing you and you teasing back, when you saw it, you had been sitting on Reiko's dick for two hours while he moaned loudly echoing through the box, the sex was incredible and you liked this concept of hating each other and competing in front of everyone, but meeting every night - even though the competitions also applied in the bedroom, with the two of you challenging each other with who was going to cum faster... Reiko always lost - but soon the two of you became more intimate, more passionate, starting to do it without a condom, because Reiko loves make a good creampie in your pussy - after a few weeks, you realized that you were sick and more unwell for training, making him also worry, so you went to an exo terra healer, proving that you were expecting Reiko's child . You didn't know how to tell him, but you didn't have to, he followed you and heard everything, waiting for you outside with your arms crossed and a slight smile on your face. "-Well, I think we're going to be parents now, right? And this child is going to be very dear to me (Y/N), you can trust me." -Reiko spoke sincerely, while placing a hand on your shoulder, kissing you on the forehead. "-And we both know that this child will be like me, he will be born strong like me and-" -He spoke but you soon disagreed, leading the two of you to walk hand in hand while talking/arguing amicably with whoever your son was going to look like.

✧ SHANG TSUNG ✧

He was never a sentimental man, but you were the only person who got to see a softer side of Shang, he was still arrogant but less selfish when it came to you. The two of you met in his castle, where he studied various spells every night and liked to show off to you, at first it was just a friendship, but Shang fell in love with you which led you to have sex on his table, with first time showing you a soft side, as he thrust his hips into you, moaning loudly as he bit your neck. This became a routine, mainly sitting on Shang's lap with his entire dick in your pussy, while he studied some spells, letting you enjoy the pleasure. He's different from everyone else on the list, he knows you're pregnant before you can even open your mouth to tell him. You ran into his castle with tears in your eyes, ready to tell him, but he smiled at you with his back turned, it wasn't a forced or sarcastic smile, it was something soft, something real. "-Oh really? I already knew my cute little voodoo doll, have you already chosen a name? How about something big? After all, this child is mine." -He spoke with his chin raised and genuinely happy, as he called you closer, putting you on his lap and quickly kissing you, caressing your cheek. "-I will take care of you two, you as the father/mother of my child, and this child... I really want you by my side (Y/N)."

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

[ot8xbangchansgirlsblog]

ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕜🧸

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ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕨𝕠: Why is she here?

Word count: 3832

Summary: In this chapter, Felix anxiously prepares for Y/N, their new pack member, to arrive at their home. Despite Chan’s announcement generating excitement, some pack members, especially Hyunjin and Seungmin, are skeptical. Felix reassures Y/N that the pack is eager to meet her, even though he senses underlying tension. Upon arrival, Y/N is greeted warmly by Minho and Han, which helps ease her anxiety. Felix explains the pack’s bond, which allows them to communicate and sense each other’s emotions. Though apprehensive about the bond, Y/N finds comfort in Felix’s support. During dinner, the atmosphere turns tense when Hyunjin and Seungmin express disapproval of Y/N’s inclusion, leading to a confrontation. Upset and overwhelmed, Y/N has a panic attack. Felix comforts her, helping her calm down and feel more at ease despite the rocky start.

Warning: Angst/comfort, cursing, hate, insecurities,

It had been about 15 minutes when Felix, the only person awake at the moment, noticed that they were approaching the house. His nerves grew as he worried that the boys wouldn't like her. The group chat began to buzz when Chan announced the new member of the pack. As usual, everyone except Han was skeptical about the situation, but they were also buzzing with excitement.

"If you all are sure about it, then I am," Changbin said through the bond for everyone to hear.

"I'm with Changbin. I trust you guys, so if you're so sure about it, then let's see where this takes us," Minho adds to the conversation.

Sometimes, Felix wondered why they even needed to text each other when they had a bond and could communicate through it. However, Chan said that texting was important for their human connection and that they needed to learn social skills, which was a fair point after all. Chan knew best.

"Thank you Mingi," Felix politely said as they stopped in front of the house. He turned to Y/n and gently pushed her hair away from her face, revealing a small beauty mark that resembled Hyunjin's.

"Y/n, we're here," Felix murmured softly, gently shaking her awake. She blinked, taking in the imposing structure of the house before them. The sight of it made her heart race. Was this really happening? Was this grand building about to become her new home? Her mind swirled with worries—what if the pack didn't accept her? What if she made a mistake? What if—

"Hey, stop overthinking," Felix said, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm nervous too, but believe me, they're excited to meet you. I can feel it through the bond." It wasn't entirely true—Felix did sense the excitement the pack was feeling through the bond, but he was also acutely aware of the frustrations and anger simmering beneath the surface, which churned his stomach.

He couldn't ignore the undercurrent of tension from Hyunjin and Seungmin. It hurt to think that two members of the pack, were already shutting her down with such negative feelings toward her when they barely knew. He understood their protective instincts and where they were coming from—they had always been like this ever since... well, ever since he had left. Felix knew that their feelings came from a place of deep loyalty and protectiveness for their home and pack.

"Really?" she asked, a wave of relief washing over her as his reassuring words eased her anxiety. She felt a surge of confidence and was finally able to take a deep breath. "Wow," she murmured, her eyes widening as she took in the grandeur of the building. "You all live here?"

"Yeah, it's amazing, right?" Felix replied with a grin. "Minho-hyung put so much effort into building it. He wanted it to be nestled by the forest, and Chan, being all love-struck, was totally on board. Now we can go hunting, fishing, or just let our wolves roam whenever we want." As they stepped inside, Y/N was greeted by a jumble of shoes at the entrance and a medley of sweet scents that instantly made her omega purr with contentment.

"I'm home!" Felix called out cheerfully as he stepped through the door. "Leave your shoes here," he instructed, and Y/N followed his lead, slipping off her shoes.

"Finally, Lix! Dinner is ready! Go wash up and—oh, hello! Who's your new friend, Lixie?" A strikingly handsome man appeared, his face beaming with a radiant smile. He wore an apron smeared with flour, which made Y/n chuckle.

"Minho-hyung!" Felix groaned in mock exasperation as he tiptoed to wipe the flour off Minho's face. "I told you to act natural, but you're terrible at it." He planted a quick kiss on Minho's lips before turning back to Y/N, who was smiling warmly at the scene.

"Okay, okay, I know," Minho said with a playful roll of his eyes. "But how was I supposed to act natural when you texted the group screaming that you'd found the last soulmate?" He huffed dramatically, still teasing Felix as he continued to fuss with his apron.

"Yeah, I didn't quite think that through..." Felix mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Anyway, Y/N, this is Minho—or Minnie, or babe, or baby, or—"

"Okay, okay, I think she gets the point, Felix!" Minho interrupted with a groan, ruffling Felix's hair affectionately. He turned to Y/N with a gentle smile, as if she were the most delicate thing in the world. "Hey there," he said softly, "It's really nice to meet you. You're absolutely beautiful."

Y/N blushed deeply, her cheeks turning a soft pink as her omega purred in delight at the warm welcome. "T-thank you, Beta," she responded shyly, her voice trembling with emotion. "It's nice to meet you too, Minho. You smell really nice, and you're so pretty." She gazed up at him through her long lashes, and Minho's heart nearly burst with happiness.

"Thank you," Minho said warmly, his eyes shining. "I made a big meal to welcome you to the pack. Why don't you wash up with Felix and then come join us? I'm sure you're starving." As if on cue, her stomach rumbled, drawn by the tantalizing aroma of the food cooking in the kitchen. She nodded, her face flushing with embarrassment.

"Thank you, it really means a lot," Y/N said, bowing slightly. Before she could straighten up, Felix had already tugged her past Minho and into the living room.

"Oh my God, I need to give you a tour of the house," Felix said with a chuckle, "but first, you might want to brace yourself."

"What do you mean, Felix—" Y/N started, but her question was cut off as Felix suddenly called out, "Han! Guess who's here!"

Confused, Y/N barely had time to react before she heard rapid footsteps descending the stairs, accompanied by a fresh, fruity scent—cherries and sweet lemon.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!" chanted a brown-haired boy as he flew down the stairs, nearly tripping over himself. Without hesitation, he leaped into Y/N's arms, snuggling against her as if she were his long-lost friend. "I'm here!" he cheered, burrowing into her embrace like an exuberant puppy. Y/N giggled, trying to keep her balance as she held the enthusiastic boy.

His large, brown eyes and round cheeks made her coo at his cuteness, reminiscent of a fluffy squirrel. He pulled back slightly to touch her face. "So pretty," he whispered in awe.

"Told you," Felix said with a grin, watching the scene unfold. Han then threw his arms around Felix in a tight hug, showering his face with kisses. "Felix, you did it! You found the last piece! She's so... SHE'S SO..."

"Breathtaking!" a deep voice boomed from the corner. Everyone turned to see a muscular, imposing figure stepping into the room, his presence commanding immediate attention.

"Binnie! Hey! Come say hi to Y/N!" Felix called, waving enthusiastically. Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she recognized the strong scent of mint and rainy forest emanating from the approaching figure. An alpha. Though she wasn't terrified, she couldn't shake off the lingering trauma from her past. Her instincts made her take a hesitant step back behind Felix, causing a flash of hurt to cross Felix's face.

"Hey, he won't hurt you," Felix said softly, his voice tinged with concern. "This is Changbin, remember? I told you about him. I know alphas can be intimidating, but I promise you he's really nice. I'll be right here with you." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Y/N nodded slowly, forcing a smile as she extended a hand towards Changbin. "H-hey, Binnie. It's nice to meet you," she said quietly.

Changbin's face lit up with a relieved smile as he took her hand gently and kissed it. "Hey there, little one. It's nice to meet you too. Welcome to the pack. I hope my scent doesn't trouble you," he said softly.

"No, it won't," Y/N replied, tracing her fingers over the spot he had kissed. "I just need some time to get used to it, Changbin. But judging by how my omega is reacting, she really likes you." She looked into his eyes earnestly. "Please be patient with me?"

"Of course, love. Just know that you're one of us now, and no alpha will ever lay a hand on you," Changbin said, his hand gently resting on her chin as he rubbed his thumb across her cheeks, which were now flushed with a rosy hue.

"Ugh, seriously?" Minho's voice came from the kitchen door, dripping with mock disgust. "There are people around! And didn't I tell you two to wash up? Dinner's going to get cold!" The boys groaned in unison as Felix quickly pulled Y/N away, leading her up the stairs.

"Sorry about that," Felix said, a bit flustered as he led her through a maze of corridors. "They get a little clingy when they meet new people."

"It's okay," Y/N reassured him with a small smile. "They seem really nice. Where are the rest?"

Felix stopped in front of a door painted blue with his name on it. "Just a sec. I'll check with I.N." Instead of pulling out a phone or walking to I.N's room, Felix closed his eyes, focusing intently. After a moment, he exhaled and said, "He's in the downstairs gym but he'll be up soon."

Y/N looked at him, intrigued. "How did you...?"

Right..she didn't know about the telepathy. "We can communicate through the bond," Felix explained as he sat down on the bed, removing his sweater. "Have you heard of it?"

"Bond? No, I don't know what that is," she admitted, shaking her head.

"Well," Felix patted the bed beside him, inviting her to sit, "when we became a pack, Channie hyung taught us how to use the bond. It's a way we can communicate and feel each other's emotions. We can even see what someone else is seeing sometimes. It's a bit complicated and might seem strange at first, especially when he marks you. It's a bit embarrassing because we can see, hear, and feel everything you do."

As Felix spoke, Y/N's eyes widened in apprehension. "That sounds... intense."

"Yeah, it can be overwhelming at first," Felix said with a comforting smile. "But you'll get used to it. And remember, it's all about being connected and supporting each other."

"Don't worry, it's not scary at all," Felix said, waving his hands as if to reassure her. He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek, making her blink in surprise. The warmth of the gesture was comforting, and despite her initial shock, she couldn't help but feel a flutter inside. After all, he was undeniably attractive. "Would you like to shower first?" he asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the more overwhelming aspects of their pack's secrets. Felix knew Chan could explain things in a way that would be less daunting for her. After all, he'd once been the new omega himself.

"Yes, please. But I don't have any clothes," she said, glancing down at her old maid's outfit with a frown.

"No problem," Felix said with an encouraging smile. He reached into his wardrobe and pulled out a towel. "I can get you one of my pajamas. Just go ahead." He gently nudged her toward the bathroom, then turned on the water for her. "This is how you turn on the cold water, and this is how you turn on the hot water," he explained, guiding her step by step. She nodded, memorizing each instruction as she absorbed the information.

"Um, Felix?" she said softly, her voice carrying a note of uncertainty.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for everything, really. You're such an angel. I don't know how I could ever repay you," she said, her gaze dropping to the floor as she thought about her uncertain future—probably facing starvation in a dungeon somewhere.

"You don't have to thank me, my love. That's what soulmates are for," Felix said, nuzzling her cheek gently. His touch elicited a soft purr and a contented whine from her omega. "But I do have one request," he added shyly.

""What is it? I'm open to anything," she said quickly, snapping out of her trance and looking up at him.

"C—can you remove your patches?" Felix asked, his voice tinged with frustration. "My omega keeps whining because we can't smell you." His annoyance was directed more at his own omega's insistence than at her. Her eyes widened, and she instinctively placed her hands on her glands, a look of embarrassment crossing her face.

"I—Felix, I wish I could, but... my scent is rotting right now—"

"What? Why?" Felix's concern was evident as he interrupted, his face falling as realization dawned on him. "That only happens when you're... oh." His whisper was filled with regret.

"Yeah," she said softly. "But I promise I'll remove them once I'm feeling better. Please?"

"Of course," Felix said, his voice softening. "I'll get more patches for you." He quickly left the room, and Y/n let out a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind him.

She stepped into the shower, finally peeling off the itchy patches. The hot water felt soothing against her skin, easing some of her tension. As she let the water cascade over her, she traced her fingers over the bruises covering her body—old and new, a mix of purples, blues, and yellows. She winced as her fingers brushed against one particularly sore spot, her mind drifting back to the moment she'd sustained it. The pain was a stark reminder of the trials she'd endured

🍄🌻🥞🌿

"Here you go," Felix said softly, handing her a box of patches and a steaming cup of tea. "This should help with the um... subdrop. Minho works with medicine and he said it might clear up the rotting scent, though it won't do much for how you're feeling," he explained delicately. "I hope it's okay that I told him..."

"It's okay, Lixie. Thank you." She accepted the tea gratefully, taking a soothing sip as Felix slipped into his pajamas. He then gently began braiding her hair, his touch light and comforting. "I.N is here," he whispered, just as a knock resonated through the room. Felix's face lit up with a smile as he opened the door, only to be enveloped in a warm hug. The alpha then placed a tender kiss on Felix's lips before stepping into the room, his grin bright and welcoming.

"Y/n, this is Innie," Felix said, his voice filled with affection. "He's the youngest alpha and the youngest of the pack. He's really sweet." Felix ruffled Innie's hair playfully before settling back down beside Y/n, who offered a shy wave.

"It's nice to meet you, Alpha," she said, bowing slightly as she took in his scent of chocolate and peppermint, which filled the room with a comforting aroma.

"Ah, I see," Innie cooed, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "So, they were calling you two the 'sunshine twins.'" He smiled warmly at them both.

"Innie! Stop it," Felix whined, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he covered his face.

"Yah! Stop being so cute!" Innie teased, his voice filled with warmth. "It's so nice to meet you, Y/n. Let's head downstairs to eat before Minho goes mad. Chan just got back from the company. Come on," he said, extending his hand.

Y/n glanced at Felix for reassurance, who nodded encouragingly. She took Innie's hand and then reached for Felix's, the three of them making their way downstairs together. They entered the dining area where all eight packmates were seated, patiently waiting. Y/n offered a quick bow and a wave before sitting next to Felix, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement as she joined her new packmates for the meal.

"So, Y/n, I trust you've met everyone?" Chan's voice filled the room, drawing everyone's attention to her. She looked around and replied, "No, Alpha. I've met 6 out of the 8."

The room was rich with various scents, each contributing to an overall feeling of safety and sweetness, though there was a faint, sour note in the mix.

"She's really sweet, Hyung. She got along just fine with I.N and Changbin," Felix said, his pride evident as he spoke. Chan nodded in approval before taking another bite of his meal.

"That's good to hear. If you need anything, Y/n, don't hesitate to let me know or just talk to Felix or Han," Chan offered her a polite smile. "I'd like to have a chat with you after dinner, if that's alright."

"I'm perfectly okay with that, Oppa," she replied quickly, eager to show her willingness to integrate.

"Alright, enough talk. Welcome to the pack, little one!" Leeknow exclaimed, giving her a friendly ruffle of her hair and adding more meat to her plate. The room erupted in cheerful applause, but Y/n couldn't help noticing the two betas sitting together, casting her sharp, disapproving glances.

One started to speak up but whas quickly shut down by Chan. "Hyung, are you sure—"

"Not now, Hyunjin. Don't ruin the night," Chan cut off the blonde boy, who was seated next to him. Y/N hadn't met either of them yet, nor the other guy with brown hair and blonde streaks. She could tell they were betas and, judging by their expressions, they weren't thrilled about her presence.

Her ears twitched as she overheard snippets of the conversation, but her attention was soon captured by Han, who cheerfully linked their hands together, offering her a warm smile.

"We should go shopping tomorrow, Y/nnie!" Han exclaimed, running his fingers through her long hair with a bright smile. "Felix and I will take you."

"That's exactly what I was thinking, Han!" Felix chimed in enthusiastically from beside her. "Great minds think alike," he added with a boastful grin.

"I—I would love that, but I don't have any money," she hesitated, feeling a bit self-conscious.

"Don't worry about that!" Han waved off her concern with a playful flick of his hand. "That's why we have Chan and Changbin's credit cards. We never go broke. So stop pouting!"

Despite Han's cheerful reassurance, Y/n couldn't shake off the pang of guilt. "I couldn't— I mean, you guys have already welcomed me into your home. I honestly couldn't impose."

"Y/n, you're part of the pack now," Han insisted with a grin. "You don't have a choice. Let us love you and treat you right! Pretty pleaseee?"

"They won't stop until you say yes," Changbin added with a chuckle, startling Y/n as she hadn't realized he was listening. His presence was subtle but his voice carried well, especially against Han's enthusiastic chatter. "So just agree."

"Fine, we can go shopping, Han—"

"And also get nesting supplies—"

"And room decor," Felix interjected with a wink.

Y/n couldn't help but smile at their excitement, feeling a bit overwhelmed but also touched by their eagerness to include her.

"Yeah, you're right," Han continued, his eyes gleaming with excitement. "We can also get her hair and nails done—"

Y/n glanced back and forth between Han and Felix as they eagerly planned out the next day. She couldn't help but smile at their enthusiasm and care, touched by their efforts to make her feel at home. Her gaze drifted back to her plate, but her attention was soon drawn when her name was called from the other end of the table.

"Yes, Oppa?" she responded, looking up at Leeknow.

"I need to know your dietary requirements so I don't accidentally cook something that might make you sick," Leeknow said with a friendly smile.

"Oh, Hyung! You didn't ask us for our dietary requirements," I.N whined from his seat across the table.

"Yeah, well, that's because I don't need to worry about you lot," Leeknow retorted with a snicker. "You guys eat like a small army!"

"Meanie," I.N muttered, giving Leeknow a mock glare.

The sudden loud thump of Hyunjins's fist hitting the table made Y/N flinch. Instinctively, she nuzzled into Felix, seeking comfort from the commotion. Felix wrapped an arm around her, offering a reassuring squeeze as he gave her a warm, comforting smile.

"Hyunjin, don't—"

"No, Chan! You're acting like she's the Luna or something. She's messing up our dynamics!" Hyunjin's voice was sharp, cutting through the room. Every eye turned to him in shock, except for the beta, who merely looked bored.

"You didn't even consult us about adding someone new to the pack," Hyunjin continued, his frustration palpable.

"Hyunjin, stop it! We were always meant to be nine, not eight," Changbin growled, his scent growing increasingly sour. Felix's grip on Y/n tightened, his own scent turning bitter.

"Did you really have to do this in front of her?" Leeknow's voice was a low hiss, his irritation evident.

"He's right, Hyung. You can't just expect us to accept a random, lawless omega—"

"Seungmin, that's harsh! Why would you say something like that?" Han's voice rose in defense, standing up to protect Y/n.

"I-I can leave," Y/n whispered, barely audible. Tears welled up in her eyes as she choked on her words, her heart sinking. She had feared this moment, and now it felt like her worst fears were coming true.

"Felix, take Y/n to the living room. I'll be there in a minute," Chan ordered, his tone icy as he glared at the two betas who had soured the evening.

Without another word, Felix lifted Y/n from her seat and carried her down the hall. As they left, the last thing she heard was Hyunjin's bitter remark: "You're trusting someone we don't even know with Felix? That's absolute bullshit."

They entered a large room with dim lighting, cozy couches, and blankets scattered around. A massive flat-screen TV was mounted on the wall, and a bar was set up in the corner. Her knees gave out, and she sank onto a couch, curling up into herself. Quiet sniffles escaped her as she struggled to hold back her tears, overwhelmed by the sharp sting of rejection.

"Hey... it's okay. No need to cry. I'm sorry—"

"Please don't..." Y/n whispered, her voice barely more than a breath. Her fingers trembled as she picked at the frayed edges of her hoodie, her panic escalating into a storm that churned in her chest. Every breath felt shallow and tight, her heartbeat a frantic drum in her ears. The room seemed to close in around her, a suffocating presence of her fears and insecurities. She felt an overwhelming wave of shame and self-loathing crash over her, thoughts spiraling in a dark vortex of self-doubt. No one would want a ruined omega. They were dirty, used, and unworthy—

"Breathe, Y/n. Breathe for me, please. You're panicking," Felix's voice cut through the storm. His eyes, full of concern, locked onto hers, grounding her in the chaos. "You don't have to talk, but you need to try and calm down, okay?"

She turned away, her breathing ragged and uneven, but his hands gently guided her into a hug. The warmth of his embrace enveloped her, his scent—a soothing blend of cedar and honey—washing over her in waves. "I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you. Not while I'm here. Those two are just being pricks. I promise, we all want you here..."

As Felix's scent enveloped her, her frantic thoughts began to blur, the edge of her anxiety softening. Her body felt like it was melting into his embrace, every tense muscle loosening under his tender care. "There we go... nice and easy," he whispered, his voice a soft, reassuring murmur. He continued to coo softly, his gentle presence a balm to her frayed nerves, slowly pulling her back from the precipice of her panic.

🍄🌻🥞🌿

Dont forget to reblog and follow! <3

Taglist: @ihrtlix @bowsnbang @katsukis1wife @thegingerthatwaited (open)

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

[leah-lover]

Entangled desires. Leah Williamson x Alexia putellas x reader.

Part 1

“ Fuck me!” You semi yelled at your TV.

“Only if you beg me for it.” Said your girlfriend with a smirk on her face. You were both laying on the couch. She was laying on your lap reading a book, while you were watching the Arsenal vs Chelsea game. Chelsea have just broke through the backline and scored a goal. In their defense the goal was pretty incredible, but you hated that your team got scored against.

“ I would love for you to fuck me amor but not now, I am too busy “ you joked. “You have been stressed for about 50 minutes now. I think you need a release.” She said sarcastically, The book is now laying on her chest. “ Mi Reina, this game is so important for my sanity right now.” you respond. She didn't talk after that, she just turned on her side, her head still on your lap. She put the book aside and focused on the game.

The rest of the match was pretty exciting. There were some missed shots from both teams, a goal from Arsenal, some decent shot blocks from the Arsenal defense, and just overall a lot of tension. Alexia stood up from your lap by the time the final whistle blew. She was alert and satisfied. You were more than happy with Chelsea's defeat since you were a die hard Arsenal supporter. As a result, in celebration, you kissed your girlfriend. The kiss was soft and filled with passion. You then pushed Alexia on her back, straddled her lap and kissed her hard. You didn't want any space between you two. You were hungry for her, needy for her, all you wanted was her touch. The adrenaline from the game took over your body. Suddenly, it all went away and was replaced by tiredness. “ It's okay baby it happens.” She confronted you because you pulled out of the kiss and sighed loudly.

“ I am so sorry.” You apologized. “ Let's go cook dinner instead. Then we can finish later.” She added, a small smile on her face.

At the dinner table you sat opposite each other. You were both comfortable in the silence.

“ That arsenal defense was really good today.” She said, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, most of them are lionesses, so they are pretty good.” You answer.

“ Leah Williamson, the center back, is the captain of England right?”

“ She is the captain, she also captained the team today. She is pretty good.”

“ She was excellent today, made some pretty good deflections.”

“ And?”

“ What do you mean?.”

“ Mi Reina, tell me what you think.”

“ Well she is kind of attractive I guess. If you tell this to someone you won't like your punishment.”

“ Baby relax,I won't. I promise. Now let's go finish what we started after the game.”

“ What do you think about her?”

“ Leah ? Well I agree with you she is hot.”

—----------------

Tonight was one of the best nights of the year. The fifa best awards. This night was special because you were being awarded the best female player in the world which made you very proud of yourself. You were also proud of your girlfriend who made it into the best starting 11 in the world along with you and a few legends of the game.

You and Alexia got ready in the same room. You decided on an emerald green corseted dress that highlighted your chest and your brown hair. Alexia decided on an all black 3 piece suit paired with a red lip and her hair down.

The day leading to the ceremony had nothing out of the ordinary. You did your media duties, got ready, and left for the red carpet.

You and Alexia looked like a power couple, all the cameras were on you two, two of the most awarded and talented footballers. The ceremony was no different either. Kelley Smith presented you with your award and you thanked the most important people in your life in your speech. You talked to a few people but that was it. All the fun started at the after party.

While you were at the bar getting drinks your girlfriend was far from you talking to some people.

“Can I get two vodka sodas please?” You asked the bartender.

“Can you please make that tree?” Said a British voice from behind you. You turned around to find that the voice was Leah's.

“ Vodka soda is the athlete's best choice of drink right? ?“ she asked.

“ I guess so.” you respond.

“ I am Leah Williamson.” She added.

“ I know who you are. You are pretty recognizable.”

“ Not as much as the woman of the hour. Congrats on your award by the way. Spanish football is lucky to have you.”

You blushed at her words, that's when your drinks were ready. You wanted to talk to her more.

“ Why don't you join me and Alexia at our table?.” You asked hoping to get a yes

“Only for a little while I have my own people to tend to.” She responded.

You proceeded to guid Leah to your table. On your way there you passed alexia who said goodbye to the people she was with to join you too.

“ Ale this is Leah williamson. Leah, this is my lovely girlfriend Alexia.” you introduced the girls.

“ It's very nice to meet you alexia. We should have met a long time ago.” said Leah

“ I am glad we met too. How are you finding the night.” said Alexia. You knew your girlfriend well to know when she is nervous and right now she was clearly nervous, other people wouldn't spot it very well.

“ it's pretty boring actually. This is the most exciting thing that happened tonight.” responded Leah.

Your relationship with Alexia was common knowledge. However, Leah was flirting with the both of you for the better part of the hour and a half that Leah stayed with you. Throughout this time you talked about everything from football to your childhood. Several compliments and flirtatious attempts were made by all 3 of you. Leah’s phone was ringing for most of the time but she didn't answer. She then got a text saying that her teammates left and that she should go to the hotel because the party venue was almost empty. You didn't realise the time that passed, you were too immersed in the fun all of you were having. You were sitting on a couch, Alexia’s hand on your thighs occasionally caressing them, and Leah sat opposite you on a chair.

“ I can't believe they left without me.” she complained.

“ Well they did call you several times but you blew them off.” you responded.

“ but still how am i supposed to talk to them and miss out a second with you two.”

“ You can come with us. We are staying at the same hotel right?” suggested Alexia.

“ yeah but I don't want to intrude.”

“ nonsense, consider it an extension of this lovely night.” you added.

You then got out of the venue. You held Alexia’s hand while Leah walked to your other side.

The car ride was quiet. “ I would kill for a burger right now.” you whispered in your girlfriend’s ear because you were nuzzled in her neck. She then ushered for the driver to change direction to the nearest fast food chain.

“ one quick stop before we release you.” you apologized to leah running you hand on her thigh quickly.

“ No, not at all. I really want this to go on forever.” she responded.

The car stopped, you got your order, Leah and Alexia got a meal too after you provoked your puppy eyes.

You were now blissful on the hotel floor, and eating your burger with Leah Williamson and Alexia putellas. You were focused more on leah than on your burger.

“ shit i dont have my key card. I left it with Keira. God i am such a fucking idiot. ” she said after she finished.

“ Don't ever say that about yourself.” said Alexia who was quieter than usual.

“ what she means is it's fine you can stay here. it's too late to wake her up.” you corrected.

“ No, I can't do that .” she said frantically.

“ Yes you can and you will. It's too late to do anything. Plus we can hang out more. And we can put it to a vote and we both want you here.” said alexia before taking the last bite of her burger.

“ Alexia I can't. There is something. I just can't.” she said before heading towards the door.

Alexia got up and stopped her by her wrist. “ Look, it's alright, stay. Please. “ she said softly.

“ alexia almost never says please.” you added.

“ There is this unresolved tension in me. I can't hide it anymore.” she added, now looking at the floor.

Alexia lifted her head up by her chin, and at that moment we were all nervous. We all shared a look with each other, then looked at the floor, then at each other again. The silence was deafening. We all were thinking the same thing. It was just the matter of who starts.

[81folklore]

i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid

parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi

summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no one had any idea how bad they were struggling

type: social media au (smau)

notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!

notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!

masterlist

march 2024

twitter

charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp

i have been waiting for YEARS

max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.

lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???

alex be glad he doesnt use captials

oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him

max ???

lando anyway

yn mate you ok?

yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am

lando yeah but usually your not single

lewis oh no! you and jacob split?

yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore

charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣

yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising

fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!

yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost

fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!

yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?

lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???

yourname cheers ill get on now

george let us know if you need anything!

may 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others

p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!

thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️

view comments

mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*

landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate

yourusername same time next race?

user33 loved seeing you back on the podium

user2 absolutely smashing it this season

user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*

user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*

twitter

*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*

august 2024

yourusername

liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others

did some reading, painting and writing

baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️

view comments

user66 AHHHHHH

yourusername ahhhhhhh

user26 cats name plsplspls

yourusername norman🐱

lukehemmings nice music👍

yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!

mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium

yourusername always!!!!

user74 have you had funnnn??

yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋

twitter

*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*

october 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others

p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased

huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️

view comments

user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*

user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud

yourusername ⭐️⭐️

gracieabrams woop woop!!!!

yourusername 😝😝

user2 gracie??

user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕

user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!

yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot

user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)

yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)

twitter

november 2024

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others

tagged: taylorswift

i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album

im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before

i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life

send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)

comments have been limited

taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍

yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️

twitter

yourusername added to their story

seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others

charles i feel completely betrayed yn

fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?

charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??

AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️

yourname sorry charles, surprise?!

charles ill forgive you because its a good song

yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!

yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️

yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!

lando I LOVE IT TOO

but seriously are you ok?!

yourname yeahhh im better now

was just a lot to navigate

lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us

yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do

alex yn was that twitter thread right?

yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate

alex user56tweetlink

yourname oh pretty much yeah

some things were changed with taylor but not much

fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!

yourname thank uu

max good song yn!

now

lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!

oscar max is kind of scary

max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!

[bucksdaffy]

okay, so i think we all know how good tommy is for buck, right? because buck feels safe with him; he can be himself when he is around him without worrying too much (because i don't think that fear ever truly goes away when you have such abandonment issues) that he's going to scare him off (after all, tommy saw buck's perhaps less flattering sides pretty much from the get-go – his jealousy, him making an absolute fool out of himself by stumbling his way through their first date, him holding a metaphorical clipboard during chim's bachelor party – and still found him adorable; still assured him that he was interested). tommy supports him and he is there for him when he needs him the most.

but i feel like we don't talk enough about how good buck is for tommy as well. we may have not seen the true impact of it since we don't know that much about tommy as a character yet, but in these few scenes where we got to know more about him and saw how buck and tommy navigate their relationship, i think it's pretty obvious.

we know since 7x04, and we are reminded of it again in 7x10, that tommy really craves a family-like dynamic in his life. he wants to be a part of something, just like buck is. he is honest and vulnerable enough to admit that in front of him. and buck not only hears him, but he also tends to his insecurities. he verbally assures him that he does belong and that he is enough.

but he doesn't stop at just that. because words can only mean so much, and buck knows it. you never truly feel it unless you experience it. so what does buck do? he includes him. he invites him to his sister's wedding, where all the people he considers to be his family are present. he wants to show tommy that he can be a part of that family as well. so, when tommy turns up at the hospital and buck, with soot on his face, announces before god and all mankind that his guest of honor has arrived, he does it not only to show his family that he and tommy are a thing now. he also does it to show them that their little family might have expanded to include one more member. he wants tommy to further reconnect with chimney, hen, and bobby, and he wants him to get to know maddie. he offers tommy a sense of belonging he has been longing for. and he shows him that he's wanted.

this is also something that is obviously not resolved yet – it will for sure take some time until tommy truly feels like he's a part of their unit. it still seems to me like tommy might not believe his presence is that important, something buck used to struggle with pretty much up until the lightning strike. but buck has already taken action to prove to him that he matters.

pre-7x05 buck had an issue with being completely honest, not only with himself but also with others, something tommy used to struggle with up until he left the 118. but tommy motivated buck to process his feelings and accept who he really is without worrying what others may think of him.

this is not a one-sided relationship from which only buck gains something. they both complement each other well and help each other grow, which is why i feel like they work together like two pieces of a puzzle. the relationship is good for both of them, and i really hope we get to see that more in s8.

[kp-alice]

As You Deem Fit

Summary: Ever the generous lover, Yunho knows just the right gift to give you on your third anniversary - himself.

AKA an enthusiastically pliant!sub!Yunho x mischievous!dom!f!reader

Word count: 6 810

Warnings: free use (so seemingly dubious content but everything is fully consensual!!), oral (f rec), handjobs, pegging, butt plugs, ejaculating straps, just a lot of groping and tension in general, playful sex (they love each other so much it's lowkey gross), the tiniest speck of clothed f/naked m, an awful load of pet names

A/N: This fic is the fourth part of my sub!Yunho Kinktober 2024! The event's masterlist can be found here.

You sat on the couch in your dimly lit living room, facing your boyfriend of three years with a huge grin. As always, he'd gone above and beyond to make sure you felt loved and cherished, this time proving it by buying you that beautiful necklace you mentioned almost half a year ago. You didn't dare wish for it, knowing it was quite expensive and something you had only talked about in passing, but you were yet again beautifully surprised.

"Yu, it's so beautiful!" You marveled as you looked down at the necklace he had so eagerly helped you put on, reaching over to hold his soft hand. Much like your neck, his wrist was now adorned with a pretty yet elegant silver bracelet. Of course you got each other matching gifts. After three years together, you were practically one person split into two bodies.

"Not any more beautiful than the bracelet you've picked out for me," he grinned cheesily, mesmerized by the silver gleaming in the soft light. "I was worried my gift would be too expensive, but I see we've both decided to be generous this year."

You tightened your hold on his hand, faux offense on your face. "Nothing is ever too expensive when it comes to you, love!"

Yunho giggled at your reply, though you could sense a smidge of hesitance behind his warm gaze. "Yeah, I guess so..."

"But?" You pressed on, leaning closer to examine his expression. He was definitely hiding something.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Yunho asked back, feigning confusion. And yet, all the telltale signs were there. The slight raise in pitch, the widened eyes, the way he tilted his head to the side just a little too much.

You sighed, but there was no actual frustration to your words. "Bunny, do you really think you can fool me after three years together? I can literally see the cogs turning in your head; you're thinking about something important."

The silence between you lasted mere seconds, Yunho's facade quickly crumbling under your unwavering gaze.

Oh well, not like he wanted to keep this a secret anyway.

"Well, actually, you see," he began, a nervous smile playing on his lips the more he stalled, "I kind of have another present for you, but it's a bit... different, so to speak."

You chuckled, leaning even further forward to support yourself against his thigh. "Yuyu, if you're talking about anniversary sex then I'm afraid we've done that one already... twice actually. Not that I'm against it in any way, of course not! I'm just saying you don't have to be shy about it if that's what you had in mind."

"No! That's not what I had in mind at all!" Yunho exclaimed but then suddenly paused, "or, like, it kind of is, but uh, I had something a bit special in mind this time."

"And what would that be, pretty boy?"

Of course you had to call him that now, of all times.

You watched in amusement as Yunho's cheeks turned a deep shade of red and he began squirming in his seat. "W-well, I was just kinda wondering about what we could do that we haven't tried yet, and, uh, have you ever heard of 'free use'?"

You furrowed your brows, casting your eyes to the side as you searched your mind, but nothing came up. "I don't think so, no."

"Ah, well, it is a bit unconventional," Yunho stammered further, avoiding your gaze at all costs, "which also means that you don't have to entertain it in any way if it makes you uncomfortable! I'm perfectly fine just doing what we already enjoy, don't worry."

"Yu," you said sternly, squeezing his hand, "just explain what it is and let me decide if I'm up for it or not. Like you said, the worst thing I can say is a respectful no and then we'll just enjoy ourselves in a different way."

Yunho nodded solemnly at your words, knowing you were right. Squeezing your hand back, he took a deep breath.

"So, uh, free use is pretty much exactly what the title implies. One person lets the other... well, use them, however they want, whenever they want. You can, like, touch me as much as you like, or make me do whatever. And while this can apply to both people, where they can 'use' each other, I was thinking that, maybe, it could be just me for now? You know, since I'm the one that proposed it and everything, it makes sense you'd be the one in control because then you can do everything at your own pace and stuff."

"Huh," you let out after a short pause, taking everything in. "And you're sure it's not just because you want me to use you and shower you with attention?"

"A-ah, well, uh," Yunho stammered, letting out a nervous chuckle, "yeah, maybe a bit of that too. Only if you want to, though! Like I said, no pressure at all!"

It was your turn to laugh now. Swinging one of your legs over his lap, you shuffled even closer to him. "Of course I want to, love. How could I ever pass up an opportunity to have you all to myself? You'll be all mine to enjoy, ready to please me whenever I want. No matter what you're doing or where we are, I can just feel you up as much as I like. What's not to love about that?"

You watched a visible shiver run down Yunho's spine at your words, an almost pained expression on his face as he imagined the scene. You nudged his crotch with the leg in his lap, swiftly bringing him out of his thoughts and back to you.

"So? When are we going to do this, Puppy? Do we just start now or do you want to set a specific date or signal...?"

Yunho took a deep breath, trying to think despite the growing issue in his pants. "Well, I was thinking maybe this weekend? Since we'll both be staying at home with the day off. And I can definitely wear something to show you I'm, uh, 'up for it', or we can just confirm everything in the morning and go from there? Either is- mmh! Either is fine!"

You suppressed a giggle at his whine, not stopping the way your leg was rubbing against his growing hard-on.

"Alright then, loverboy."

Saturday rolled around sooner than expected, and before Yunho knew it, he was stirring awake in your warm, cozy bed. Even through his sleepy stupor, he could feel your hand running up and down his side, occasionally slipping forward to graze his stomach.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty," you whispered tenderly as you snuggled even closer into his back, making him chuckle. "Slept well?"

"Mhm," he nodded tiredly, pressing back into your embrace. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to tell me if you're still good to go with our plan today."

Yunho's eyes snapped open at that, suddenly remembering what specifically this week's Saturday would entail.

"You don't have to agree to anything if you're unsure about this, Puppy," you gently reminded him, kissing the back of his neck. "We can just do this another time, or not at all."

"No, no," Yunho shook his head. "I do want to do this. I'm just a little nervous, I guess? I want this to turn out well since I suggested it, but because I'm not in charge, I don't know how to ensure that."

"Don't worry, hun," you reassured him softly, but then tightened your grip on his hip. "I'll make sure we both enjoy ourselves, okay?"

"O-okay."

Yunho hadn't expected you to "make sure" right after you'd asked him, but here he was, lying in bed with his face planted in the pillows, already worn out. He still had his sleep shirt on but his bottoms were long gone, discarded in the wake of your morning ministrations.

Despite your thoughtful wipe-down afterward, Yunho could still feel a forgotten stripe of lube drying on his inner thigh once he'd finally gotten up. And judging by the first few steps he took towards his wardrobe, he already knew today was going to be a long day. The plug you'd chosen for him was nowhere near the biggest one he owned, but he was still acutely aware of it with even the slightest of movements.

Well, nothing to be done about it now - you chose it for him, and he had no choice but to take what he was given and wait for further instructions.

Just as he'd managed to put on some boxers and lounge pants, the bedroom door creaked open, revealing your curious yet slightly amused look.

"How are we faring, Handsome?" You asked, unabashedly looking him up and down. Of course he chose those plaid pajama pants today, knowing you loved the way they made his thighs and ass look. "Ready for breakfast yet?"

Yunho nodded happily, closing the wardrobe again before moving towards you. "Of course! Just needed a few more minutes to get up, sorry."

"It's okay," you said, holding the door wide open for him. "I didn't start off too eager, did I?"

"Not at all," Yunho chuckled, giving you a playful smile as he passed by you. "If anything, it was actually really-"

All words from your lovely boyfriend were cut off by a startled gasp, preceded by the unmistakable sound of your hand connecting with his ass.

"I'm really happy to hear that, honey."

Just as he'd thought to himself before, today was really going to be a long day.

Despite looking forward to spending the day together, you and Yunho still cherished your alone time. Thus, an hour or so after breakfast and washing up, you found yourself in your study, working on that random report your boss had been bugging you about. Yunho had stayed in the living room, likely lounging around on the couch while playing video games or scrolling on his phone.

Either way, he wasn't doing anything important right now, and you were awfully stressed out with this whole report thing.

Which offered a very easy, enticing solution.

"Yuyu, come here!" You called out, double-checking that your progress had been properly saved before moving on with your plan.

You heard an affirmative shout back, followed by the sounds of the couch creaking and footsteps stomping down the hallway. Even at that, you could already feel your tense shoulders relax, knowing what was to come. Holding onto the desk for leverage, you slid away from it to make just enough space and waited.

A very cozy-looking Yunho appeared in the doorway. "What is it?"

"Come here," you ordered softly, though your voice left no room for disobedience.

Yunho did as told right away, shuffling over to you with curious eyes. What could it be that you wanted from him?

"Get under the desk and make yourself useful, will you?"

Oh.

"There you go, hun," you sighed out appreciatively, tangling your fingers in his hair. "Such a good boy for me, aren't you?"

Yunho just hummed in agreement, too focused on the task at hand to reply properly. His tongue was laving against your clit, nose bumping into your pubic mound every now and then. He almost looked cute like this, trying so hard to please you that it turned him just a little stupid.

Your hand tugged at his hair, angling his mouth away from your clit and down. "Come on, Puppy, let me ride that pretty nose of yours a bit."

Yunho immediately complied, letting you hold him in place while you rocked your hips against him. A moan left him as he felt your wetness spread all over his nose, feeling like a mere toy at your disposal. You gripped his locks even tighter at that, the vibrations of his voice making you clench down on his tongue inside you.

Deciding you were done playing around, you tugged his head up again. Yunho didn't need to be told what to do, quickly diving back in to kiss, lick, and suck on your clit just the way you liked it best.

"Fuck! That's it, baby, I love your mouth so much," you panted as you spoke, feeling the coil in your lower belly winding tighter with every second. "Gonna cum all over that pretty face of yours."

Yunho whined at your words, feeling his cock stir in his pants. He knew this wasn't about him right now, and yet, the way you spoke to him so lovingly yet so condescendingly churned so good in his stomach that he almost curled in on himself just from listening to you.

Unbeknownst to your boyfriend, you were watching him squirm the entire time, already plotting how to fix the obvious ache in his pants.

Soon.

After almost suffocating Yunho between your thighs and sending him off to clean his face, you went right back to work. You had to admit, the quick stress relief was rather convenient, save for the sinful ideas of what you were going to do to your unsuspecting boyfriend next that were now occupying your mind.

Nevertheless, after two more hours of slaving away at your computer, you were finally done and free to join your favorite cuddle bug in the living room. He was re-watching one of your favorite dramas, giggling to himself at the characters on screen. As you approached him and the pile of blankets atop him, he didn't even say a word, just lifted up one of the corners high enough for you to slip inside with a huge smile on his face.

Once you were comfortably lying down on him, you too got quickly invested in the show, accompanied by the comforting rise and fall of Yunho's chest beneath you. With your pending work done and your favorite person under you, you could finally just shut your brain off and relax.

For a while, at least.

As the time dragged on and the episodes slipped by one by one, an exciting mix of mischief and yearning bubbled up inside you. Yunho's body felt so warm under you, so soft and pliant - it would be a shame to just let it be, right?

"Babe...?" Yunho questioned softly as your hand smoothed down his side, thinking you just wanted to ask something. When your other hand began moving as well, however, he started to realize what this might be about.

"Get on top of me, honey," you ordered, leaving Yunho to gently roll the two of you over, now with you underneath him. He tried not to lie down on you with his full weight so as to not crush you, but that was becoming increasingly difficult with your increasingly teasing touches. With each squeeze of his waist, hips, or even chest, he could feel his strength falter, leaning further down into your body.

"L-love, what are you..." he tried to question but trailed off again as one of your hands slid into his plaid pants, skipping his underwear and going straight for skin-to-skin contact. You gripped the full, firm flesh in your hand, massaging it softly before moving on.

Every remaining bit of Yunho's composure disappeared as your hand brushed the base of the plug inside him, re-igniting the fire that had been warming his belly since this morning. He hid his face in the crook of your neck with an embarrassed whine, suddenly feeling too exposed and vulnerable despite still being fully clothed.

"How's the plug feeling, baby?" You murmured softly, brushing your thumb against its base. Your other hand stilled on his hip, holding him in place in case he got too restless.

"It's really weird," he admitted bashfully. "I-I mean, like, nice weird! Like, it feels good, but it's also strange to just... have it inside all day. I keep forgetting about it and then I move even the slightest bit and it just, you know."

"Reminds you of your role for the day?" You finished for him, earning a nod in return. "So you're okay with keeping it in a while longer?"

Yunho nodded again, letting out a shaky exhale as you tapped on the base a few times. "Yes, please. Wanna be your good boy all day, be ready for you at all times."

"Good," you replied, an excited smirk on your face. "Very good."

Before you knew it, the sun was already starting to set. And as much as you'd love to keep cuddling and fondling your boyfriend, the growling in your stomach was getting a little too persuasive.

As expected, Yunho volunteered to cook dinner tonight, getting up and disappearing into the kitchen before you'd even had a chance to argue. Not that you wanted to, anyway. Whenever Yunho got into his submissive headspace, he loved to provide more than anything, and you were not about to take that away from him.

You did eventually start to get a bit bored, though.

About half an hour had passed, the drama you were watching left paused on the TV screen while you checked social media. You could hear the soft knocking of metal against wood as Yunho chopped up some vegetables, along with the sound of water boiling on the stove.

...Nothing wrong with checking in on him, right?

Sitting up with a groan, you raised your arms above your head and stretched. The couch creaked under you as you shifted your weight, but Yunho either didn't hear it or didn't think much of it.

As expected, Yunho had his back to you as you entered the kitchen, focused on pouring all the chopped-up ingredients into the boiling water. After succeeding, he sealed the pot with a lid and set a timer on the stove before resting his hands against the counter. He let out a content sigh, seemingly fully lost in thought.

His daydreams were cut short, however, when he was enveloped from behind, causing him to jump in surprise.

"Relax, baby, it's just me."

Yunho hummed in acknowledgment, all of the sudden tension leaving him again as he leaned back into your embrace. "Missed me already?"

You chuckled at the cheekiness, squeezing him just a little tighter. "Oh, so much, you have no idea." Pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck, you let one of your hands wander along his body. "Also felt like paying compliments to the chef, you see."

"A-ah, but, don't people- don't you usually do that after the food is served?" Yunho asked in a shaky voice, the hand grazing his inner thigh feeling equal parts ticklish and arousing.

"Hmm, no," you muttered into his back, one hand splayed over his stomach under his shirt while the other teased the waistband of his pants again. "I already know it will taste amazing, so might as well thank you now, right?"

Yunho's grip on the counter tightened as your fingers finally dipped into his boxers, steeling himself for whatever you had in store for him. "I mean- yeah, but- but the food-"

"Just let go, Puppy," you insisted, drawing a meek whine from him. "You've set a timer anyway, you can spare some time for me now."

"I- alright," Yunho finally agreed with a tired sigh, only to gasp when you immediately grabbed his cock in response. Clearly, you were in no mood to stall anymore.

Yunho was fully hard in record time, already pent up from your previous activities. His head hung low as you stroked him, keeping him in place with the hand on his stomach while you pressed up against him from behind. Every now and then, a small whine or whimper left his lips, causing his eyes to scrunch shut even tighter.

"W-wait," Yunho suddenly gasped, wanting to stop you with a hand on your wrist but halting before he could do so.

"What is it, honey?" You asked, brushing a thumb against his weeping tip while you placed another clumsy kiss on his clothed back.

"I need to stir the- please," Yunho tried to keep his sentences as short as possible, not trusting his breathy voice right now.

You laughed at his explanation, finding him utterly adorable right now.

"It's okay, love, do whatever you want."

Yunho was confused by your words, unsure of what you meant. The fog in his brain certainly wasn't helping either, reducing him to a panting, jittery mess.

"But- you're not stopping?" He said half-questioningly, trying to break from his daze just enough to understand the situation.

"Oh, don't worry, I'm definitely not stopping," you said with a sly grin, speeding up your movements. "But you're free to keep cooking if you want, I don't care."

When your words finally clicked in his mind, Yunho thought he was going to pass out. Or cum. Ideally both.

With a pathetic, broken whimper, he nodded in understanding, muttering a simple "Okay, thank you" in response. His left hand gripped the counter even tighter, trying to keep himself still and stable while he removed the pot lid with the other. Just as he was about to pick up the wooden spoon, however, he felt you tugging at the plug inside of him.

You watched in amusement as Yunho curled in on himself with an almost pained cry, dropping the spoon to hold onto the counter again. "Y/N!"

"What? I'm just doing my thing, you can do yours just as fine."

Yunho whimpered as you pulled at the toy again, the widest part threatening to slip out of him. He felt so powerless, your indifferent attitude leaving no room for discussion. He couldn't fault you for it either; it's what the two of you had agreed on, after all. He was yours to touch and fuck as you pleased, whenever, wherever.

Taking in a deep, shaky breath, Yunho tried to regain control of his body as much as he could, though it was near impossible with your unrelenting touches. Even as he neared the stove, he couldn't stop the involuntary twitches of his hips, trying to meet both your strokes on his cock and the pulling at the plug inside.

"There's my good boy," you cooed, watching him finally succeed at stirring the pot. "Told you there was no need to stop, you're a natural."

Whether you meant a natural at cooking or being toyed with, Yunho didn't know. Either way, a groan left his lips at the praise, dropping the spoon again to lean back into you.

"Oh? Is my pretty prince close already?" You questioned, feeling him twitch in your hand at the pet name. Yunho nodded hurriedly, shallowly panting as he rocked back and forth into your hands. The timer was showing two minutes left, giving you just enough time to get your lover where you wanted him.

"Miss, can I please cum? Please?" Yunho begged with audible urgency, brain so scrambled the title came out without him even realizing.

"Of course, honey," you said, tightening your grip on him. "You've been such a good boy so far, you deserve it.

Yunho moaned loudly at the praise, eyebrows furrowing as he finally let himself get fully lost in the pleasure. His hands reached back to clumsily grab at your hips, pressing you as close to his back as possible. He didn't seem to mind the slightly awkward angle at which the hand holding his plug was now trapped. If anything, the way it pushed the toy back in even deeper made everything else more intense.

"Oh my god, I'm gonna cum," Yunho warned through gritted teeth, already sensing this wouldn't be any small orgasm. "I'm gonna, I-"

With a cry of your name, Yunho's entire body tensed up in your hold for a second or two before releasing again, trembling with every wave of pleasure washing over him. You held him steady the entire time, helping him ride out his orgasm with slow, steady strokes on his twitching cock. Your other hand slithered out of his pants, reaching over to turn off the timer before it could startle your spent lover.

Yunho panted as he came down from his high, the fog in his mind finally starting to clear up again. He squeezed at your hip, a silent signal that it was okay to let go of him now. You did so, unwrapping yourself from him to stand by his side instead and examine his face for any signs of discomfort.

"Feeling okay, baby?" You asked gently, drying some of the sweat on his forehead with a nearby paper towel. Yunho just nodded wordlessly, every part of his body feeling like jelly, lips included.

"Good. Now let's get you out of these before you ruin them any further, shall we?"

A small gasp left him as you suddenly pulled both his pants and boxers down, but he stepped out of them anyway. Despite the embarrassment of standing half-naked in the kitchen in front of you, he had to admit it felt a lot more comfortable than boxers full of cum.

"Are, uh, are you going to bring me fresh clothes?" Yunho asked hopefully, turning to give you a quick glance before approaching the stove again. He still had dinner to cook, after all.

"No," you said simply. "I don't think you'll be needing them much in the near future, anyway. I'll just keep you warm during dinner and then we'll see what happens."

Yet again, despite how small and vulnerable he was feeling right now, Yunho knew he had no say in the situation. You clearly weren't waiting for his response anyway, considering how you'd immediately left after your reply, but not before giving his ass a quick squeeze goodbye.

Just as promised, you kept Yunho warm as you sat back down on the couch, eating your dinner together under a warm blanket. You resumed the drama on your TV, letting the two of you calm down again and enjoy the simple comfort of each other's presence. Under the thick blanket, Yunho's legs were strewn over your lap while you kept a firm hold on one of his calves.

He was not going anywhere anytime soon. Not until you'd let him.

Unlike before, you didn't let him wash the dishes this time, pushing him back into the cushions while you put your two bowls away in the kitchen. You checked the clock hanging above the door, which read 22:30. Perfect.

"Ready, Yu?" You called out, returning to the living room. Yunho was right where you'd left him, curled up on the couch. His head rose at your voice, turning back to look at you in slight confusion. "For what?"

"The bedroom," you answered plainly, meeting him with a seemingly indifferent gaze. When he didn't react, you stepped right in front of him. "Come on, Pup. Don't make me drag you over there myself, 'cause you know I will."

Yunho gulped at the vague threat, reluctantly throwing the blankets off his body and rising to his feet. The shirt he had on didn't do much to cover his bottom half, making him resort to covering himself with his hands. That plan was quickly foiled, though, as you just nudged his hands away, leaving him bare again.

The moment he'd entered the bedroom, he could feel a slight tension in the air. Turning to you, he realized you looked somewhat nervous, but fought hard to hide it.

"Well? What are you waiting for? On the bed, hands and knees."

Your command brought him out of his thoughts again, limbs moving pretty much automatically at this point. This wasn't anywhere near his first or last time in such a position, so he had no issue planting himself into the mattress, arching his back just the way you liked it. The effect was almost immediate as he heard a groan from behind him, followed by a smack against his ass. "Fuck, such a pretty boy for me, aren't you?"

Yunho just whined, spreading his legs a little wider at the praise. He could feel you getting on the bed behind him, right after gathering all the things you'd need from the box in your wardrobe. A soft hand began smoothing down his back, making him relax and steady his breathing.

"I've prepared something new for today, if you're interested."

Oh, so that's why you were nervous.

"What is it?" Yunho asked, lifting his head from the pillows to be heard properly. He didn't turn around to look at you, too scared he wasn't allowed to without your explicit permission.

"I mean," you began, your free hand moving to massage the back of his thigh, "it's nothing too new. Just a small twist on what we already do, that's all. I can tell you right now if you want, but I was thinking it might be better as a surprise?"

Yunho shivered at the proposition, feeling excited and nervous at the same time. Being surprised was one thing, but to have you surprise him while you're railing him into the next week? He wasn't sure what to expect. Which, of course, led him to only one possible reply.

"Sure."

After hiding whatever it was you were planning to use from his sight and easing the plug out of him, Yunho found himself on his back, legs spread nice and wide for you while you stretched him open. Thanks to the plug, the process was a lot easier than usual, but that didn't stop you from ensuring his comfort anyway. Not to mention you'd never pass an opportunity to have him moaning on your fingers.

"Alright baby, I think you're ready for me," you said, focused on the way his pretty hole clenched around your digits. "What do you think?"

Yunho whined at the question, trying to push back against the three fingers inside of him. "Please, I need it! I'm so hard it hurts."

You chuckled at his desperation, making the man under you blush even more. He really wasn't lying; his dick had been left alone for way too long, twitching sadly against his abdomen whenever you pressed into him just right.

"Okay, hun," you began, removing your fingers from him at once, "I'm gonna need you to close your eyes for a moment, and when you open them again, you're not allowed to look down, okay?"

Huh. Okay.

Yunho nodded wordlessly, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes. He heard you get up from the bed again before shuffling around. The bedroom was completely silent, save for the sounds of his breathing, clothes rustling, and the soft clinking of metal. The mattress dipped down again, and Yunho was allowed to re-open his eyes.

"Hi," you said warmly, an amused smile gracing your lips as you looked down at his unsure expression.

"Hey," he replied tentatively, scanning your eyes for any clues on what to expect. "I, uh, wanted to ask - how low can or can't I look?"

You giggled at his question, making him smile a bit as well. "No need to worry about any of that, Yuyu. Just keep looking at me until I say otherwise, okay?"

He obliged with a nod, keeping his focus on your face even while you yourself looked down between his legs. It felt strangely exhilarating, not being able to see what was going on down there, what was going to happen to him.

"Hold these for me, will you?" You said as you pushed his legs up by the backs of his knees, waiting for him to get the memo and hold them up for you. Luckily, it didn't take Yunho too long, still lucid enough to remember one of your most frequent orders.

A cold, slick, blunt object was suddenly pressed against his hole, making Yunho flinch at the unexpected sensation. He'd almost looked down then, wishing to see which toy you'd chosen today, but caught himself at the last second.

"I'm gonna push in now, okay?" You warned him, leaning further over his body for a better angle. "Just relax and remember to breathe."

Yunho did just that, closing his eyes and relaxing as much as he could. Still, he couldn't help but tense a bit when you began pushing in, the intrusion familiar yet oddly different at the same time. His eyebrows furrowed at the thought, confused about what it could mean. Did you get a new strap? Is that why you didn't want him to look yet?

Oblivious to the turmoil raging in Yunho's head, you kept pushing further, gaze flitting between his sinful expressions and his hole eagerly welcoming you in. It wasn't until your hips met his that his eyes opened again, watching you with almost alarming intensity.

"Something's different, isn't it?"

You couldn't stop yourself from giggling at your boyfriend's puzzled face but nodded nonetheless. "It is indeed. Do you have any clue as to what it could be?"

Yunho's brows furrowed at the question, fully concentrated on finding out the answer. You could feel the faintest tug from below, watching as he clenched down on the strap-on.

"I- I'm not entirely sure, but the shape feels different. It feels a bit smaller too."

"Is that an issue?" You teased, a wide grin splitting your face. "Maybe it's not about the size with this one, who knows."

Yunho let out another confused sound at that, trying to decipher your words. Maybe it vibrates? Or inflates somehow? Or changes temperature? Okay, no, probably not that last one.

But then what could possibly make this one special?

Despite being very invested in uncovering the mystery of this strange fake cock, the moment you actually began moving, all rational thoughts flew out the window. Big or small, thanks to your skilled hips, the toy still hit all the best spots inside of him just the way he liked it, reducing him to a moaning and groaning mess.

"Miss, please! Harder!" Yunho desperately begged. With each thrust, the hold on his legs slowly began to falter, resulting in him dropping one to hold onto your back instead. You heeded his pleas, snapping into him with newfound force. His nails dug into your back, trying to steady himself while you rocked him up on the bed. His cock yet again lay neglected on his stomach, slapping around in its small puddle of precum with each thrust. This time, though, you felt more merciful, dropping one of the hands propping you up to grab a firm hold of it.

"Fuck!" Yunho cried out, throwing his head back. His chest heaved up and down, trying to keep up with the onslaught of pleasure in two places at once. "Miss, I'm so close, please let me cum, please!"

"Is that so?" You asked back, stalling for time as he thrashed under you, desperately holding back his orgasm until you'd allow it. "Wanna find out about the surprise right now, then?"

Oh, that's right. Yunho'd forgotten all about it, too distracted by you rocking his world like you always do.

Quickly nodding his head, he could only muster a dumb "uh-huh" in response.

"Look down, then."

Eagerly, he complied, even lifting his head up a bit to see better. Just as he'd suspected, this was a completely new toy, looking nothing like the ones you'd used before. From the color and the way it filled him just a little differently, to the strange shape of its base. Speaking of which, he watched as you leaned back and reached your hand - one that wasn't tugging at his aching cock - down to said base, wrapping around it.

"Gonna cum, pretty boy?" You asked, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"Yes, please let me!" He replied desperately, trying to push back against your hand and strap at the same time.

"Then cum with me."

For a split second, Yunho was confused again. What do you mean, together? Were you also about to cum, completely untouched? But you didn't seem anywhere near affected enough to just cum on the spot like that, so what could you possibly mean?

Yunho was about to ask just that, but then he felt it.

Watching you squeeze the base of the strap, Yunho felt a strange pressure inside him, a bit further than the actual strap itself reached. And then he felt it again. And again.

You were cumming inside of him.

For a small moment, Yunho thought he had died. There was simply no way he could ever recover from such an orgasm, not a chance. His vision disappeared for a moment, and so did his hearing. The only thing he could feel was overwhelming pressure in his core, exploding into the most intense orgasm of his life. His chest and stomach kept tensing and relaxing, making his breath hitch with every shake of his body. Electricity was coursing through his body, from his head all the way to his toes and back.

He had no idea how much time had passed when he finally registered your hand on his cheek, tapping him lightly in hopes of getting his attention.

"Yunho?"

He took another big gulp of air before finally replying, "...yeah?"

"Oh, thank god," you sighed out in relief. "I was beginning to think you'd passed out on me."

"Honestly? I might have," Yunho chuckled incredulously, still in awe of everything that had just happened. His eyes had finally refocused, letting him see the curious yet worried look on your face. You were still naked, though the harness around your hips was gone. Now that his head was clearer, he could also feel a towel under his butt. When did that get there?

"I think that was the hardest I've ever cum in my entire life. Thought I had ascended for a moment there."

You laughed at his dazed response, smacking his chest gently. "Good to know at least one of us was having fun! I was so worried I had hurt you somehow!"

Although you meant it as a joke, Yunho knew there was a bit more sincerity to it than you intended to show. Sighing softly, he beckoned you closer, only to then fully pull you into his arms, chest resting against his. He could feel the utter mess he'd made that was now smeared between you but decided to ignore it for now. That could wait until his brain worked at least semi-properly again. "Don't worry, babe, I'm completely fine. Just need a moment to calm down."

You hummed non-committally, still feeling a bit unsure after having your boyfriend turn unresponsive for like half a minute. "It was good, though, right?"

Yunho chuckled, jostling your body alongside his. "Love, I literally just told you I had the most insane orgasm of my life, how do you think you did?"

Sensing you were still unconvinced, he continued. "You were so amazing today, doing everything I've dreamed of and more, and then you top it all off with this? I'm quite literally the luckiest boyfriend alive. Seriously, you have no idea how much I loved today."

You chuckled, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. "Not really, I think you gave me more than enough evidence a few minutes ago. Evidence which should get cleaned up as soon as possible before we get even more sticky and gross, mind you."

"Oh, don't worry," Yunho grinned, holding you even tighter, "that's not up to you to decide anymore."

You stilled in his embrace, lifting your head up to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"Look at the clock, love."

00:04.

Uh oh.

"So, now that our special day is over, how about you get up here and let me repay the favor, hm? I don't think I've had quite enough in your office this morning."

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